#and can you imagine the rom com potential of these two

[baby-tini]

I really like imagining Chuuya to be just. Such a gentleman. To the point of it almost being cheesy and old fashioned, but it's not because it's him doing it. He tries not to curse around you because "you're a lady" but then spews absolute filth when you're fucking. Also doesn't mind if you speak crassly, he can't, he's the man here, he should show restraint. Early on, he uses honorifics with you until you explicitly state that he can drop them, always takes his hat off in your presence if you two are alone, always pays for everything (he's got a thing for that one in particular) etc.

I'm also really into the whole him basically being your bodyguard when ya'll are out thing, but it's subtle (Of course, he has a gun in his waistband, but that's to be expected) I'm talking the sidewalk rule, always the sidewalk rule, I'm talking opening doors, I'm talking constantly surveying his surroundings for potential threats or exits, giving death glares to guys who stare just a bit too long and then turning back to you with a smile as you continue to ramble on whatever it is you're talking about (he loves it, it's so cute), When he has the time and if you two aren't living together, he's coming over to fix shit. Kitchen cabinet closes weirdly? Car needs repearing? Heavy furniture needs to be moved? He's on it. Why would you pay some dickhead who's probably gonna fuck it up anyway to do it when he can?

It's the same in the bedroom. A giver through and through. Just wants to make you feel good, wants to get you cockdrunk and limp, to overwhelm you with pleasure, to bruise your cervix, you feel so good to him, it strokes his ego to see you fall apart all because of him, because of his mouth and fingers and dick.

I was very tempted too keep this to myself, too think about it constantly- cause that's all I've been doing with this post. I don't think I've seen a better characterization of Chuuya, this is literally perfect. Also the "you're a lady" thing made me think of this.

Chuuya is a gentleman at heart, he was taught too treat women like royalty, seeing as though, he was basically raised by a woman, Kouyou. Chuuya, I agree, is pretty old-fashioned, he definitely comes off as that old-fashioned mobster that you see in movies. But when it comes too how he acts, he is literally the inspiration for the cheesy male role in rom-coms. As for his curing.. we all know that he does that a lot, it's a pretty nasty habit of his that he won't break anytime soon, but he tries, especially for you, because you're too pretty too hear the utter filth coming out of his mouth, but you don't mind and he knows you don't mind especially when his cock is fucking into you. Leaving you breathless, unable too speak from just how good he feels inside of you. His gruff voice in your ear, telling you how good you feel- how good you make him feel. He's so soft with you though, careful not too be too harsh because even if you do like it rough, he's never left bruises on you; ever. Sure, he never leaves you unsatisfied, never- not once. Because bruises are for him too deal with, they're for him too come home with. They shouldn't even be spotted on your soft skin, the thought of it makes him upset. But, yes, he'll pull out your chair at the restaurant, open the door for you. Also the paying for you is such a him thing, because he makes more then enough money for you too spend he just has so much, why would you spend your hard earned money when he has loads for you too spend on whatever the fuck it is that you want.

He knows that his job in the mafia is dangerous, and you could be hurt just by association and he can't have that, and as much as he'd like too just relax and have a good time with you, he knows that's not the most achievable especially given his high ranking position of being an executive. His eyes are constantly shooting left and right, checking for any suspicious behavior coming from anyone, or anything that just looks a little too out of place. Now, Chuuya doesn't really need a gun, sure he keeps one in the drawer next to the side of your guys shared bed, but a gun would poke out a little too much for his liking, so that's where his ability comes in, he also, canonly, has a knife on him, at basically all times, so you can rest assured that you are very safe. Now I do like the sidewalk rule. Because he would!!! He doesn't even let you think about walking close to the road, you stay near the wall, and if you're someone that tends too drift as you walk, maybe can't walk in straight line, that's fine because he'll just move your you to the side by your hips- or even better, he'll hold your hand so you don't stray too far. He also lays on the side of the bed that's closest to the door, so if there is a problem he can just quickly jump up and deal with it, also you'd be behind him, so if they did shoot, he has his ability and if you're small enough, they might not even see you; which is what he's betting on. I also think that he guards the door while you use the bathroom, he doesn't care if it's a big, multiple stall womans restroom, no is allowed in while you're in there. He, in his own right, is your own personal little handy man. Like you said, fixing up the things around the house, he also is the type too fix your things before you notice there's something wrong with them. Like if something of yours had fallen, a vase of roses perhaps, had broken he'd buy you a new one and replace the same flowers so that it looks like nothing ever happened, or if you had a stuffed animal that you treasured he'd attempt too sew it for you- he doesn't wanna buy a new one right away cause it's special and he knows something like that can't just easily be replaced, so he tries his best. But, he wouldn't pay a man too do something that he could do- and Chuuya would do it better, best believe.

Chuuya has always been a giver, anting too make you feel good in anyway he can. He makes it his job too learn your body fully. He wants too know your body better then you do, he doesn't ever want you too be one of those women that feel like they have too get themselves off because they're partners don't care enough too make them cum. Chuuya does care and this is one of the little ways he shows that. I also hc Chuuya too be the type of person that doesn't do... sex. He makes love. Sure he'll fuck you, especially if he's pent up from work, but he makes it his mission too make love to you at some point in the night. Whether that be the soft kisses in between bites to your neck or rubbing and caressing the area that he had just spanked. He never wants the thought of sex for you too be mentally or physically exhausting, like you're just doing it too please him. But, he does also get a kick when he watches you push at his chest and then tug and pull at the sheets because you just don't know what too do with yourself. Your so overwhelmed with how good it is that you just lay there and take it or you just can't hold still. That's what he enjoys though, when you just can't hold still so he has too hold you down with his ability so that you physically can't move, but the aftermath is his favorite. You calling for him so that he can carry you to the shower because you can't move or him coming down the stairs shirtless, with his grey sweats low on his hips, seeing the love bites on your neck and on your thighs as you cook him breakfast.

[anintriguedintrovert]

It's just lazy writing honestly. Saying that you want to develop a "mature relationship" between two characters and killing off the female character to fuel man pain is such a tired and dirty trope.

And from his own words in that article - caryl falling in love is "obvious" and "easy" and such a "TV book of tricks" (again - all of these words could have different interpretations.)

Like, my dude, "friends to lovers" is an old but gold timeless trope for a reason. UNLIKE, introducing a female character and killing her to serve the male character's man pain (if that is the route they are in fact taking - I would rather her live or have her death serve some larger/meaningful purpose - bcoz yes...i can't imagine Daryl and Isabelle together - they have known each other for two months and most it has been her lying to him/manipulating him - my man deserves better BUT I also want female characters to be treated fairly) Forcing a relationship between her and Daryl so that the audience would feel more for her when she dies - and completely reducing her death to prop up Daryl is NOT the way to go. Give her a meaningful arc and real/clear/grounded motives and emotional depth.

Also - can we like backtrack here for a minute - saying that making Caryl romantic would be too easy - is like the most ridiculous thing I have heard in a while. Besides the fact that they are both incredibly complex and layered characters of their own right (the best to come out of TWDU imho) - their shared journey is such a gold mine in terms of potential - there is angst, real emotional stakes and conflicts, so much freaking build up that was already established (I mean the entire s10 arc was basically the angst-iest fanfiction to ever fanfiction) - and underneath it all - a bond/understanding/love that is so revered by so many (even the non-carylers). AND - the chemistry between the actors is the perfect cherry on top of this fantabulous sundae. I mean, u can create a whole rom com and a half out of it.

The easy route is pairing Daryl up with a character like Isabelle. Because it doesn't take much creativity or much thinking honestly.

In short, if you are going to go with a TV trope - plz don't put your bets on something as tired and tedious as reducing a female characters death so that the man can cry a few tears. Go with the tried and tested and timeless dynamic so many ppl root for (I mean - I only recently joined twitter to get updates on the Book of Carol - and twdcaryl has been trending for like three days straight now - and that Entire hype is created by carylers- they are out there dissecting every teeny tiny bts pic that we get from s3 - and creating fan art and just non stopping talking about it.)

I only finished twd a few months backs and since then, have been obsessed with this dynamic. I can't say I have hopes for canon. And I have never once interacted with this fandom beyond liking posts and devouring caryl fanfiction from so many talented writers here. But this article just seems like the dumbest decision ever (like why dig your own grave)

Me about Caryl...

[warblogs17282]

Going from Stolas being a disney princess -> horny Blitz -> the fight -> the next fight next episode -> oh shit i did something bad here for fucks sake -> attempt at apology -> Stolas kinda moving on -> ???

Has really set up the course of the season. In my mind, 2 things can happen.

They don't see each other at all. Stolas avoids Blitz, and Blitz is scared to do anything because he's trying to take Verosika's advice

They see each other far too much. Like they're both everywhere.

Now, both of these have potential... And I think both can lead to a voice messy argument (again) where both finally apologise and they both finally see the others side.

Thanks for the ask I like doing these :)

My prediction is this, it's going to start as 1 and progress into two, when it progresses I'm assuming the last episode, my guesses based on the trailer is that ghostfuckers is the Blitz trauma healing episode, with the line Blitz says overlayed onto the mental breakdown scene (it is not being said in that exact scene) being 'I destroy everything, I make everyone's lives worse.' I believe the leviathan demon (I think it is one anyways) makes Blitz face his traumas by some means, he's already shown to have strong powers (possession, shapeshifting, the painting thing), being forced to face those traumas seen in picture 2 and 3, could possibly lead up to the mental breakdown we see Blitz have in picture 1, or the other way around.

The episode after that I have nothing to really substantiate it but I've always had this theory in the back of my mind that Vassago is going to be more of a mentor/support figure to Stolas, as what Stolas needs more than one night stands is actual friends, what helps better if it's a person that can actually understand Stolas, down to the family he was born into, being the Goetia. Let's be real, the rom-com speech Stolas gave while drunk in apology tour? That's real telling about just how isolated Stolas is from the real world, romance does not work like a rom-com and Stolas needs to learn that asap. Plus Stolitz cannot get back together without Stolas realising his own problems as well. Blitz's butler imps comment in full moon and 'You get off to getting plowed by people you look down on.' the line before the one in the picture. It proves that Stolas has not learned from the night before, and that Stolas is still being accidentally racist to imps, Stolas doesn't know he's doing it but Blitz clearly hears and feels it, which in conjunction with the mess that was the party for Blitz, I'd imagine the most reasonable thing for the both of them to do at this point is go no contact while they learn from their mistakes and problems that prevent Stolitz from truly happening.

Which puts us into the last episode, my guess for it is this, something happens to Stolas beforehand, because there's no way purely Andrealphus set this up on his own, he's a lower rank than Stolas, potential Paimon involvement? Healthy communication happens for a bit, they get interrupted by the attack on Stolas, they somehow fend off the attack, then they continue to talk healthy or just realise how they both messed up hard and be good friends again at the very least. There is that Octavia scene in the trailer as well, maybe she's got something to do with the divorce proceedings and the sudden loss of Stolas' powers, most likely played like a puppet by Stella and Andrealphus, because her one line in the trailer is how her father never loved mother or Octavia (because Stolas cheated on Stella with Blitz), Octavia does not know about much of the abuse Stella gave Stolas, making Stolas seem like the bad guy to Octavia.

So yea that's my theory on where the rest of the season is going to go, starting off at 1 from here out and eventually progressing into 2 around the end. Again thanks for the ask, I enjoyed writing this :)

[piratefishmama]

Crossing The Line | Part 9

“Eddie. Dude. You have to stop pacing, you’re gonna wear a hole in the goddamn floor and we ain’t covered for that.”

Eddie did not stop pacing, he just turned on his heel and went in the other direction, starting a fresh line in the floor. “But what if— nah, he wouldn’t… I doubt it, no he was probably just—but then what if—"

“Man, you’re spiralling, if he’s gonna come, he’s gonna come, if he doesn’t, then he doesn’t, what’re you worried about, you don't even like the guy” Eddie didn’t stop pacing. “Unless… Do you?”

“I… may have… actually looked into him?”

“You what?”

“After he turned up at the coffee shop! He was just… he was nice, dude, and… an he had no reason to be, at all, I was a bitch for a whole week towards him for no reason, but he was nice, and funny, and he can sing even if he can’t do shit with metal, he can sing, and… his photoshoots don’t touch up shit he really is that pretty, and I think i'm going to spontaneously combust and die if he turns up tonight dressed to blend in.”

“Wow.”

“Leave me alone!”

“Okay, so, what did you find out on your deep dive through Instagram?” Eddie finally stopped pacing. They were in what the bar deemed to be a ‘green room’ which was really just a room in the back for bands to get their shit together before the gig started, Corroded Coffin always turned up a good hour or so early to make sure everything was set, and of course, get rid of any pre-gig jitters. Gareth was the only one completely ready, his drums were already out there, set up and covered by a black sheet waiting for their time to shine, and his outfit was sorted ages ago.

So Gareth was the one currently in charge of dealing with Eddie, while the other two primped elsewhere.

“Not just Instagram, Jesus, imagine if I’d have scrolled too far back and liked a pic from like, 2001 by accident. How about no to that inevitable mortification. I googled.”

“You googled.”

“Yes I googled!! Did you know that he donated like, ninety-something percent of his earnings from a bullshit rom-com soundtrack deal to LGBT charities across the US after they cut a lesbian couple out of it?”

“No…”

“Neither did I! The fucker didn’t tell anyone!! I HAD TO DEEP DIVE INTO ROBIN’S INSTAGRAM! Trust me that was a scary thing to do, she’s scary. but he pulls that shit all the time apparently!” It wasn’t for publicity, it wasn’t to make himself look good to a demographic, he did it because he could. Because he wanted to. “Did you know he regularly terrorizes producers and directors into offering fair contracts for their child actors and young muscians like a goddamn world class showbiz babysitter?”

“…Nope.”

“Neither did I!! Did you know that he got PERMISSION to sing Crazy Train from the actual goddamn Osbornes? Cause I sure as shit didn’t know that either! He spoke to Sharon, DIRECTLY, Gareth, DIRECTLY. What the actual fucknuggets on fire, does he want with me?!”

“I dunno, to kiss you maybe?”

“WHY?!”

“Can’t claim to have an answer dude, you’re not exactly my type. Maybe you’re his, he did come all this way, right?”

“Pretty sure he could find a weird metalhead in his own damn town, y’know?”

“Maybe it’s not the metalhead thing, I dunno Eds, I just know that maybe this guy will be in the crowd, and if he is, hell yeah, you have managed to secure probably thee best opportunity we’ve ever had in the history of ever, by… being a bitch.”

“We’ve ever had?” Eddie looked at him with a small frown

“Yeah man! Steve Harrington is a huge star in the music world. Dude probably has his own goddamn recording studio in his place… maybe if it goes well… we could ask him if we could use it, save us some cash on a recording studio for demos.”

“…Dude. That’s. That’s kinda taking advantage isn’t it? An I’m not whoring myself out to get free studio time.”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it, BUT if you start dating this guy—"

“Gare, anything you say that relates to me using my first potential relationship as a step ladder to fame, is SUPER shitty. Let’s not do that. If he offers, then… maybe, but… that’s not—I wouldn’t even think about asking for that, we wanna get where we’re going on our own, not have it handed to us, right?”

“Well… yeah but… a helping hand would be nice sometimes, y’know? Get us out of playing these shitty dive bar gigs and into the big leagues, you know I can’t stand part time work filling the gaps in the wages, man, retail managers always suck donkey dicks. I cannot work another summer at Staples, they have like no AC, it’s torture, it’s like an oven in there and Ralph doesn’t wear deodorant, he claims it’s an allergy, but I know, I know it’s not, he does it as a power thing it’s weird. This… could be our ticket out.”

“Steve isn’t a ticket. Maybe stop digging a grave you can’t climb out of, yeah? I know I wasn’t the best towards him but… he’s better, deserves better than that… I’m not using him. An honestly I dunno if I’d even know how y’know? It’s not like I’m bursting with experience… barely even—y’know what, I’m not talking about this, big nope on the using Steve as a cheat code to achieving fame! Let’s just… get our shit together and get out there!”

Gareth smiled before rising to his feet, drumsticks in hand “you’re the boss, man. Where’s Jeff an Frank?”

“Bathroom touching up their shit… promise me you won’t bring it up to Steve, yeah? Like… if he does come, you won’t—”

“Dude, dude… I was just throwing out dumb ideas to get you out of your head, I’d never, that’d be really uncool of me” Eddie looked at him with doubt because… okay, maybe there was a little truth to the interest in the subject, Gareth had worked part time in the stationary section of Staples for three years now and he was just about ready to die if he had to deal with his supervisors summer BO any longer, but if Eddie put his foot down and said no, then it was no, the idea was vetoed. Axed. Deader than dead

He could deal with Ralph. Probably.

“…Right, well… oka—”

The door opened, a frizzy head of hair poking around the entry way, one of the bartenders, “You’re on in five guys! Wh—Where’s the rest of you??”

“Gareth go get em for me? I’ll get the crowd warmed up.”

“On it.”

T-5 minutes. Gareth rushed out the opposite door to the bathrooms behind 'stage', otherwise known as the staff bathroom. The bar was heaving, music from the speakers to fill the void of sound before the live music act, loud and thumping, it’d be them soon, filling that void, deep breath. Eddie fluffed his hair once more, spritzed it with hairspray one last time, checked his minimalist eyeliner, and shook himself out, and grabbed his baby.

Show time.

Part 11

[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 3x11 Thoughts

I have to write my thoughts down right away this time.

[Please don’t hate me if calling TL a rom-com is your favorite thing but] I’ve always felt like Ted Lasso isn’t a rom-com in the traditional sense where a protagonist finds love with an “opposites attract” kind of person and it ends right as they’ve decided to be together. Because the rom-com structure can be brilliant for what it is, but it’s all about the build-up, the whirl of questions and magic that gets you to one perfect moment of clarity. Ted Lasso is a kaleidoscope of people, all learning from the light reflected off the others. People within its world fall in and out of love, but the “movie” isn’t structured entirely around a single love story between two people. And I like that, as much as I have strong feelings about the potential for romantic love in this universe. Because a lot of times, when I watch a rom-com, I can’t quite picture what will happen to the characters who have fallen in love now that they’ve cracked the code of getting there. But, of course, what if Nora Ephron wrote a sports film? (—Jason Sudeikis.) As soon as this ep ended, my wife said she loved that this very Ephron-filled episode rather aggressively tied up a lot of loose ends all at once, with a lot of rosy moments and schmaltzy dialogue and the kind of magic that exists in a romantic comedy, revised to be about sports. Which are actually about life. Or whatever.

I appreciate that structure a lot, but even more than that I appreciate that the Ephroniest episode of this show is the penultimate one. I assume—or at least, I very much hope—that now that they’ve tied up so much and hurtled these characters so rapidly towards the close of the scene, the finale will have some breathing room to be a bit more real and more messy. I hope that it still feels like closure for this story, but I also hope that it’s open enough that we not only trust that all these people will still have lives, but will actually be able to imagine them.

It’s kind of funny how much the ending to this one felt like a cliffhanger even though I’m certain Ted is going to tell Rebecca he’s going to need to leave at the end of the season. A neat trick for the rom-com ep, cutting off the two protagonists right before their moment of clarity. Because of course Ted is already clear. And I would have HATED Rebecca’s so-self-aware-the-fourth-wall-was-quivering speech about the truth bomb if it weren’t for Ted so clearly having something to say, and if it weren’t for how casual and almost careless she is about being down in the office simply because it’s on-schedule. I mean, this woman was in no way able to handle it when Higgins merely suggested rethinking Ted’s role when the season was going badly; I’m really curious how shaken she’s going to be when he tells her, and how quickly she’ll get to acceptance. 

For all that I loved the flirtation with rom-com structure, and the big sports movie messages, and all the very intense interpersonal dynamics (Ted and his mom! Beard and Nate! Roy and Keeley and Jamie loose in Manchester! Even the ten seconds of Bex and Ms. Kakes showing up at Rebecca’s doorstep!), there’s also a big part of me that’s just aching, though, because I just love Ted and Rebecca and Ted&Rebecca and Ted/Rebecca so much. And even though their connection would never be a rom-com romance to me—because their connection is forever, and their connection has already taken so much good work, and that’s as it should be—I would love to watch them fall in love in a romantic way (if not a rom-com way). That still of them watching the movie together was sooooo lovely and soft and framed with such perfect movielight that I just feel wistful. But Ted is right about You’ve Got Mail not quite being his favorite story. It’s Sam’s rom-com, and I would have even liked the little glance between Sam and Rebecca as Sam feels his own wistfulness if it weren’t for how much I just wanted to see that promo still come to life.

(The absolute bullshit of shipping wars notwithstanding, I feel like even among the sensible non-warring people there is a camp of seeing no romance between T/R and a camp of seeing romance in everything between T/R, and I’m just. In neither place. I have seen a lot of their connection points this season as full of the potential for some kind of realized love, and I think many of the things they have said to each other and done for or with each other have a comfort and familiarity that could flip nearly instantaneously into a romantic and sexual love. Also, aren’t rituals kinda kinky anyway? And their whole relationship is based on rituals? 

It’s so weird; I don’t think I’m delusional, but I could still see them having a huge moment in 3x12 and in fact am certain there will be one, I just don’t know what it will mean to them. But I will never be like “I’m clowning again” when it comes to this shit because the ingredients are literally all there, and I guess they can make whatever cake they want, and I’ll unclownily respect it while continuing to see what I see.)

Other stuff: 

Ted’s mom added some cutesy pillows and kitchen stuff to Ted’s flat, right? I think it’s interesting that her ultimate message was that Henry misses Ted and that he can’t be scared of parenting him, but in the lead up to that truth she was doing stuff to populate his living space in London more fully. I’m curious if that was the equivalent of the cute animal videos he referenced in s1, when she’s trying to work up the courage to talk about something real, or if it was something about a parents’ desire to make their children more comfortable even if they screw up, or if it portends something more complicated on the horizon w/r/t Ted’s relationship to “home.” 

I loved Becky Ann Baker’s performance so much, and I thought Jason Sudeikis played off her incredibly well. There is nothing more irritating than being irritated by someone whose worst qualities are the exact same as your worst qualities. And when Rebecca and Beard and Higgins and the entire team just adore Dottie, it’s just so…of COURSE THEY DO. It was so good.

I think this show has something very frustrating to say about forgiveness and I think maybe there needs to be a different word for this concept they keep invoking?! I’m certain there are interesting philosophical and theological beliefs about forgiveness and how it’s not really about willfully becoming okay with someone who has hurt you but more about freeing yourself from how horrible it feels to be trapped by how that person made you feel. And I think that is what Ola advises Sam to do when thinking about the bigots who trashed him publicly and trashed his restaurant, and I think that is what Ted advises Jamie to do when he suggests how Jamie reframe how he feels about his dad. I don’t think either conversation is intended to minimize the horrors of what has happened, and it feels like the intention/vibes/overall care for the person receiving the advice/outcome in each situation is “correct” in that both Sam and Jamie end up finding the conversations helpful. But something about forgiveness as a concept just feels like they needed to invent some new word or contextualize the old word better or something.

When Jamie’s mum takes his side about his hair being walnut haze OH MY GOD.

Genuinely thought Keeley and Roy were fully back together last episode and I think Rebecca also thought this, LOL. I am unsure what I even want to happen at this point. I mean, obviously Jamie/Keeley/Roy should ride off into the sunset together. So I guess I do know what I want to happen.

Beard backstory! Ted and Beard backstory! I am so, so glad the Ted and Nate reunion didn’t happen in the Ephron ep. I am so, so glad Beard showed up and gave something of himself and grew as a human being a little bit. I’m glad that Nate did not send anyone any groveling tomes, and that this continues to be a story about forging and reforging connections rather than the economy of redemption. 

I’m sure there’s more, but I’m fuckin’ exhausted. Until next time, so long, farewell. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.) 

[jgroffdaily]

A late SXSW interview with the cast of ‘A Nice Indian Boy’, including:

Was that was that some added appeal: getting to marry Kristoff from Frozen?

Karan Soni: It was. We can't imagine having done it with anyone but Jonathan. We're a real life couple of them, and when you're making a movie, you're just hoping it gets made. So, you don't think about all the weirdness that's going to happen in a shoot potentially…

And then as it was getting closer for me personally, I was like, "Oh, gosh, like this is a little bit weird that this is happening." And then we met Jonathan, and we literally were both in love with him. I like to say we formed an emotional throuple. We truly feel like he's our emotional third, and we couldn't have done it with anyone else. Yeah, it was very easy to work with them.

Roshan Sethi: ... The only time that it became a little odd was the sex scene. That was a little weird, because I was directing the specifics of it to Jonathan and Karan, with the crew and the intimacy coordinator. The whole thing was really weird.

But again, I couldn't have imagined it with anyone other than Jonathan, because it is actually impossible to be threatened by Jonathan. He's the kindest, gentlest person. Everybody says it about him, and you assume that they're just insincere things being said in press, but he is literally the nicest person in the world. And he acts in no way as if he's aware of his fame or his many talents. He's just so gentle and easy to be around, so he made that very easy.

Karan, the chemistry between you and Jonathan feels effortless, even when like it's supposed to be a little bit awkward between you two at the beginning. Can you talk about what you guys did behind the scenes to achieve that?

Karan Soni: We didn't really do anything. Having done a few things, it seems like if you like the other person as a person, you just hope the camera will pick it up. At least acting-wise, I'm never doing anything particularly specific, but it helps if you like the person. Then, if the writing is good and everything else is good, sometimes the scene naturally lends towards that. But I always feel that I don't know if it's going to be good or not until you watch it and you see it.

Roshan, Jonathan, and I had dinner about a year before we made the movie in New York. It was a four-hour dinner, and we were laughing like, "God, it would be really nice if we got to make this with him. And then cut to: he arrived and we went right into shooting.

I think the thing that really helped was the first scene we ever shot with him was when I bring him home. There was that awkwardness, and Jonathan had just gotten off a plane because he was doing Doctor Who. It wasn't even 12 hours later that we were shooting that huge family scene with all of us and him coming, and I think the awkwardness of doing that first [helped]. If we had to do the proposal or something first, I think I would have been like, "Let's figure this out. But I think because we started with that scene, I felt a little bit of an ease into getting to work with him. And then everything felt easy after that.

Roshan Sethi: It's hard to explain, but Jonathan's constantly connecting, and he's totally present. He's never on his phone, and it takes him three weeks to respond to a text, but if you're sitting next to him in the cast room or the greenroom or anywhere? He is just locked in with you. That's to anybody, so I think you guys built a very close connection very quickly in part because that is his nature to connect with people.

Zarna Garg: I think I wanted to be resistant at first, and it was part of the storyline. My son in the movie, Naveen, is a doctor also while Jay is an artist. I had to work on myself to be like, "It's okay. It's okay. It's just a movie." But because Jonathan is who he is, and he is so exceptionally charming, I think we got there very quickly.

Karan Soni: The only things Zarna doesn't agree with Jonathan on - if I may say - is that he's currently doing Broadway and theater. And she doesn't think it's lucrative enough, so she's not okay with that life choice. But everything else is okay.

Zarna Garg: But it felt so real. It felt like a movie whose time has come. And of course, this team right here? Led by a doctor - what more could you want in your first movie? Jonathan Groff added that little extra spice. Singing in Hindi? The world is not prepared for that.

Sunita Mani: We're calling him Jonathan Groff. He's Jonathan Groff in the movie; not a character.

[casualminerva]

"I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of eternity with somebody, you want the rest of eternity to start as soon as possible."*

Why GO3 needs to end with a holiday episode

This post starts, as it will end, with Neil Gaiman. Neil, allegedly, has said that Good Omens is a rom-com. Maybe his exact words were “love story,” but let’s not quibble. This piqued my interest because face it, rom-coms are few and far between right now (except for K-dramas, where they are plentiful and quite wonderful, if a bit draggy at 16 episodes). And in my mind the world would be a lot better right now if the Western media giants would stop greenlighting every stabby, bloody, nihilistic cop power fantasy that emerges from the sad resentful minds of perpetually adolescent cishet male producers, and run with romantic comedies by the bucketful, especially ones that will right the wrongs of the ‘90s rom-com golden era. 

Good Omens is one of those, definitely. Our lovers are non-human, gender fluid, older. But the rules of rom-coms are still in place. Season 1 had the meet cute, the clash of opposing life views that gradually softens, our couple being forced to work together with comic results, a brief traumatic separation, and a reuniting in mutual appreciation, if not love. 

Season 2 was the deepening of everything, the camera documenting their faces caressing each other, the mutual rescuing, the “our side won’t like that” restraints dropping, and all of a sudden they’re touching each other out of both affection and habit, until a shitty choice arises to end it all, with a climactic kiss punctuating a truly wrenching moment of, I don’t know yet if you can call it noble idiocy, but it was a wrecking ball moment that told us they’re gonna be separated, with their hearts and ours broken, for a good long time.

Now to S3 (please please Amazon, renew). Season 3 can go so many wild directions since we’re in Second Coming territory, but for our lovers, it’s going to be dreadful to watch them separated. Our hearts are going to be in our throats every time they’re potentially in the same scene together. We’re going to see them alone, doing their own thing a lot, as once again they try to save the world, this time without each other, perhaps on opposite sides.

So what is it that finally breaks impasses and brings rom-com lovers back into each other’s arms? It’s not sudden rain showers or cotillion balls, obviously. It’s the HOLIDAYS. Christmas and Hanukkah and the grandest of them all, New Year’s Eve. It's hard to think of a rom-com that doesn’t have a confession, reunion or long overdue kiss against the backdrop of tipsy NYE celebrants or the sight of snow through glowing windows. It's the ultimate serotonin release mechanism, it conquers worry, it heals heartache, it just -- works.

I can imagine Neil and John Finnemore having a wonderful time playing with, twisting and subverting the holiday trope, all the while using that same trope to delicately land the plane of Aziraphale and Crowley’s fraught relationship.

We already know that the subject of Christmas lights is a sticky wicket for the Whickber Street Traders and Shopkeepers Association. A possible incentive to get Aziraphale back in the bookshop? We also can guess the effect Auld Lang Syne, the most shamelessly sentimental song in any film in all of recorded history, would have on a certain Scottish-leaning demon who has watched his share of Richard Curtis movies. I hope the Bentley will play it for the two of them (not the bebop version though) because, well, vavoom. We will all be piles of sobbing goo.

There’s so much material. The birth of Jesus as a minisode (welcome back, Gabriel!), other biblical and religious stuff, carolers (demons or angels or both?), Dickens references, parties, dancing. Finally, a gentle snow transforming Whickber Street into a dreamland, as our two tired but eternally hopeful ineffable lovers reunite once again, worse for wear but a little wiser, put aside their differences for good, and seal the deal with a really, really fucking GOOD, LONG, KISS. 

So … anyway. I started writing this post as kind of a joke, but accidentally made myself a believer. Oh, and I said the post ends with Neil Gaiman, because it does. Every New Year, Neil writes a tender and beautiful message of love, hope, and new beginnings to his readers. Here’s trusting he does the same for Good Omens 3, and that God, wherever She is, blesses us, every one.

*Title quote pays homage to When Harry Met Sally, the greatest of all rom-coms (fight me).

[roamwithahungryheart]

I've been thinking about this quite a bit since season three ended, and Brendan's AMA really cemented my thoughts on it - leaving a few moments off-screen (particularly big moments) can be either a blessing or a curse. And it all comes down to the glue that holds all writers together, The Rule™ - show, don't tell.

When you leave out those moments, it can go one of two ways - either the audience is left to imagine what might have happened and their anticipation gets payoff via the characters' non-verbal communication in the next scene (and/or illuminating dialogue), or they feel cheated because it amounts to nothing.

Unfortunately, Ted Lasso season three fell victim to the latter. It says a lot that there are quite a few reviews that mention this as an issue.

Roy & Keeley's break-up gave the audience minimal payoff, and that was only towards the very end.

Ted's breakthrough with Dr. Sharon that led him to finally express his feelings to Michelle? No payoff.

Rebecca & The Flying Dutchman? No payoff. We didn't spend enough time with them or get any indication that Rebecca was romantically attached to him until the very end. Their rom-com meet-cute wasn't enough for us to truly care about their potential as a couple.

They laid everything down without really showing us why these things were happening. It ain't what you do, it's the way that you do it - and they didn't quite get results.

[denimbex1986]

'It's July, which means it is also the month of Barbieheimer!

Light off some fireworks and don some pink because, in a little over a week, both Barbie and Oppenheimer will hit theaters. On July 21, these highly anticipated films will debut on the same day — and the world may never be the same. It's the movies, as God, Mattel, and Robert Oppenheimer intended.

But here's a little rundown in case this portmanteau has you scratching your head.

What is Barbieheimer?

If you are not, as the kids say, very online, you may be asking yourself, "What the hell is Barbieheimer?" Well, my friend, let me tell you — it is the cinematic event of the century. Not since Darth Vader told Luke that he was his father have we had a movie moment quite like this.

Barbieheimer is the mash-up of two films, Greta Gerwig's Barbie and Christopher Nolan's Oppenheimer. Some might say that a neon-pink Mattel toy and "death, destroyer of worlds" are counter-programming at its finest, but au contraire, cinephiles are here to tell you that the only thing that makes sense in this meaningless life is to see them both (preferably on the same day). While there are those that would paint this as a fierce rivalry, perhaps even a battle for cinema's soul, we prefer to think of it as an opposites attract rom-com.

As soon as people realized that these two highly anticipated movies (that are seemingly divergently opposed) were premiering on the same day, a new word was born — Barbieheimer. We believe it's listed in the dictionary as a synonym for perfection because Barbieheimer is the realization of the peak of human potential. It is, to borrow from another classic movie, the stuff that dreams are made of.

Is it "Barbieheimer" or "Barbenheimer"?

It's both, it's neither. Just like Barbie and Robert Oppenheimer, you can be whatever you want — a doctor, a prom queen, an astronaut, or even the inventor of the atomic bomb.

The thing about the internet is that no one agrees on anything and everyone wants to take credit for everything. Thus, the meme of this portmanteau has trended two ways — as both Barbieheimer and Barbenheimer. We suppose your preference is for whether you want to give more of the title to Barbie or Oppenheimer, but why choose when you can have both? (Though we draw the line at Oppenbarbie).

In the spirit of equity, Barbieheimer affords both films the same syllable count in the word.

What have the stars of Barbie and Oppenheimer said about Barbieheimer?

Just a reminder for when you're posting those thirst tweets that movie stars and directors read the internet too. Many members of the teams involved with Barbie and Oppenheimer have weighed in on the discourse about Barbieheimer. Imagine Christopher Nolan commenting on the Barbieheimer phenom — which he did! The filmmaker told IGN that he finds the obsession "terrific."

In a very "preserve the theatrical experience" type of way, he said, "Summer, in a healthy marketplace, is always crowded, and we've been doing this a long time. I think for those of us who care about movies, we've been really waiting to have a crowded marketplace again, and now it's here and that's terrific."

For her part, Barbie director Greta Gerwig is tickled pink by it all. "It's all love — double up, double up twice," she told The Hollywood Reporter. "I think you've got to see what the experience is, Barbie then Oppenheimer, Oppenheimer then Barbie. I think you've got to take all of the journeys."

Back in May, Matt Damon, who plays director of the Manhattan project, Leslie Groves, in Oppenheimer, was one of the first cast members to wade into the discourse. After Vanity Fair introduced him to the concept of Barbieheimer, Damon only had good will for both projects. "People are allowed to go see two movies in a weekend," he proclaimed. "Oppenheimer is one of them!"

Cillian Murphy, who plays the titular physicist in Oppenheimer, is similarly pro the double feature idea. "I can't wait to see Barbie," he told Spanish publication La Vanguardia. "I love Margot Robbie, I love Ryan Gosling, I want to see them now! I don't know what the debate is about, although it's not that I have an overwhelming opinion about it either. My advice would be for people to go see both, on the same day. If they are good films, that is what the cinema wins."

Even stars who aren't in either movie are getting in on the trend. Tom Cruise and his Mission: Impossible director Christopher McQuarrie encouraged fans to return to movie theaters this summer by posting photos of themselves with tickets for a Barbieheimer double feature.

However, Issa Rae, who features in Barbie, has some very specific thoughts about the order audiences should see the films. "[It's] hilarious," she told THR of the meme. "I love that there's solidarity though where people tried to pit us against one another, but now it's turned into like a double-feature situation. Obviously you should see Oppenheimer first and then cleanse your palate with Barbie. Oppenheimer is about an atomic bomb, people are gonna die. I want to end my weekend, I want to have mimosas and drinks and cocktails after Barbie, I don't want to like sulk."

What's the right way to watch Barbieheimer?

This brings us to the greatest question of our age — what order should you watch Barbieheimer? Is it better to start or end the day with Barbie? The internet is full of arguments for both preferences, but we're going to officially advocate for Oppenheimer first, Barbie second.

Look, we're journalists. We basically invented the concept of an all-nighter. We are not morning people. If we have to face our own mortality when we get up in the morning, we might as well do it while confronting the specter of nuclear holocaust too. Someone on Twitter suggested pouring yourself a cup of steaming black coffee and smoking a cigarette before you see Oppenheimer — and we endorse at least half of that (which half depends on whether our Health and Wellness officer is reading this). But let's be real, Oppenheimer is the hair of the dog — sobering and bracing in the utmost. It's a literal wake-up call.

Then, once you've plumbed the depths of man's capacity for evil, you can work through your existential crisis and your Oppenheimer-induced brush with nihilism with the aid of happy hour and some cosmopolitans ('cause they're pink, duh). Prepare your body to bathe in the magenta haze of Barbie. Ryan Gosling is just Ken, and you know what Ken? You're doing great, sweetie. Being just Ken is more than enough. Er, what's that? Barbie thinks about death too? Okay, maybe also book a reservation for post-Barbie drinks too.

Where can you find the best off-brand Barbieheimer merch?

Inside you there are two wolves and you need to let both of them out to play…

Just because Warner Bros. and Universal haven't teamed up on any movie swag doesn't mean there's not plenty of wardrobe options for Barbieheimer day. Designers on sites like RedBubble, TeePublic, and Etsy have created more designs than there are Barbie accessories.

We're big fans of this one, which features Barbie watching the pink mushroom cloud of the atomic bomb. It almost has Asteroid City vibes if you want to throw in another summer movie. Here's a similar take on the mash-up, this one with tons of t-shirt colors.

TeePublic also has plenty of Barbieheimer swag, including this t-shirt that conjoins Barbie and Oppenheimer's faces. If you want to get into the Frankenstein-assembled-parts nature of this odd mash-up, how about a Barbie t-shirt and an Oppenheimer t-shirt literally sewn together?

If you want something a bit more subtle, how about a baseball cap featuring Oppenheimer's famous cribbed quote, "Now I am Death, the Destroyer of Worlds" in the jaunty pink Barbie font? Might as well look cute while expressing your existential dread.

How are people embracing Barbieheimer?

Lest you think this is some internet trend with no application in the real world, think again.

Besides the aforementioned merch and buy-in from the stars of the movies, Barbieheimer is reaching the box office too. Variety reported that AMC Theaters has already sold over 20,000 same-day tickets for Barbie and Oppenheimer, suggesting that a not insignificant number of people are preparing to do the ultimate double feature. All that could add up to an awful lot of Barbie dream houses in ticket sales.

Whether you're the kind of person to think pink or one who walks around with a (mushroom) cloud hanging over their head, you can't deny the power and influence of Barbieheimer.'

[matan4il]

I guess for me the distance doesn't bother me for the moment for 2 reasons. While we generally agree they have never said they are straight, and most of us on here are the most carefully open minded people IRL.

I have zero doubts that In Canon 911 Buddie thinks the other is straight. If they ever tell me I'm wrong though trust me I won't care. I don't mind being wrong that it was some off the camera discussion and retconned.

But till that day they both think the other isn't a romantic option and probably not into them. They probably sadly just tuck those thoughts away and take them any way they can have them till one moves onto another girlfriend. Yes I gagged writing that!!

2. Even when one comes out, and the other confirms they aren't completely straight.... That doesn't mean they are just gonna jump in. These 2 are the most important people to each other, but also Chris is the most important to them. As Eddie said in 2 it's different dating when you have a kid. Well imagine the person is your kids gaurdian, his safe place to run. Imagine Bucks already huge abandonment issue's, fears of being left. I can still see them being awkward and dancing around it.

I guess I feel strongly I think we are talking something like the grocery store conflict that is what will push them out of the friend zone you know??

Hi lovely Nonnie!

I'm so sorry, this ask must have been in my inbox, but... last few times I was answering asks it wasn't, and now today it suddenly is, so this is probably Tumblr once again glitching. I apologize and am thankful for your understanding! *hugs*

And yes, I agree with you! Neither Buck nor Eddie had formally identified themselves (in fact, I think other than Hen, none of the team members have), but we all live in a society where the default is heterosexual until proven queer. And neither man has done something so far that explicitly identifies them as anything but straight. So yes, like you I believe Buddie currently assume that the other man (a) is straight and (b) has no romantic feelings for them. It's a part of their rom com plot, really.

And you're right, even if they find out the other is queer, that doesn't automatically open up the path to getting together. Beyond everything that you said which might make them hesitate on whether to risk their current r/s, there's also the fact that not every queer man is automatically into any other queer man. There has to be attraction. Even if Buck finds out Eddie is into men, he still won't know whether Eddie is into him. And that would be another satisfying obstacle for them to overcome if and when they go canon... God, they have so much potential to be one of the best love stories on TV ever if they're allowed to get together ('coz they kind of already are, even before they've gone canon), that it makes me wanna chew glass, I'm that feral over them!

I still don't know what's gonna push them over the line of obliviousness 'coz God knows, the most classic trope in that regard is "suddenly your life was in danger and I just couldn't stand my life without you and that's when I knew I was in love with you" and clearly that won't work with these two morons. So whatever happens, it has to be something different to what we've seen going down between them before. IDK what it is, but I'm so excited to find out if and when we do get canon Buddie...

Thank you, and again, so sorry for the delay. Hope you have a great day! As always, here's my ask tag. xoxox

[literaticat]

If I get a two-book deal with a publisher, what typically happens after? Let's say I get a two-book deal that has me releasing a book a year for the next two years--but between edits of those, I'm also writing several other novels that I want to publish. Can (or will) my agent keep submitting to other editors, or do I have to wait until my two-book deal is over? Would love some insight on this. I write a LOT and am very efficient, and want it to be my only income.

This would be GREAT to discuss with *your agent* -- who knows the particulars of *your situation* and whose job it is to help you strategize!

VERY GENERALLY SPEAKING, if you have a novel a year coming from publisher A, you should not have other novels of the same type coming out from Publisher B -- because your contract probably has a non-compete clause and you don't WANT to compete with your own books / cannibalize your own sales! -- But it is OK to have two different TYPES of books. So let's say you have rom-coms coming out in spring from A, and realistic thrillers coming out in fall from B. Or Middle Grade coming out in spring from A, and picture book coming out in Fall from B. That kind of thing.

I talked about this "braid theory" in a PW article last year.I would just say -- in MY opinion, it's best to let these different threads grow a bit before weaving in NEW ones.

I think you will find that when you have a book being drafted, a book in edits, and a book out that you are promoting, multiple times a year? They REALLY REALLY start to stack up and become a potentially stressful amount of work in a way that I think is hard for "very efficient" fast drafters who have not been there yet to imagine. So like -- BY ALL MEANS do multiple books! Great! But be judicious as well, until you KNOW what your time looks like in reality.

[stellardeer]

I had this awesome dream last night, I will attempt to describe it, but I might fill in some parts to make it make more sense, I just don't want to forget about it.

So it started with like these 3 friends, it was like classic teen rom com setup, a guy, his guy best friend, and his girl best friend, who had a crush on him but he never noticed or whatever, you know, typical mid aughts dynamic.

I don't remember if they were humans initially or not, that part is kind of nebulous. But the girl sees a poster for this contest to like.. I don't really remember what it was initially, it almost seemed like some kind of music competition or something, but what it became was a contest to like.. crown a new princess or something??

But they have to go to this like.. remote forest?.. island? to do it?

So anyway, the boys tag along cause they want to support their friend.

I don't know if this is what my dream brain initially had in mind, but it turns out there is no real like... contest as in "perform tasks and whoever wins is the best" it's more like, "one of you is destined to become the next princess and you will perform these tasks to awaken your potential and we will know who the princess is when they start changing"

It's at this point that if they were humans at all in the beginning of the dream, they have now become like.. mlp ponies I think? I don't actually know if they were ponies or wolves or what, but they were on all fours and part of the process of turning into the "princess" was like.. sprouting feathers and growing taller so it sounds very ponylike because that's just alicorn behavior lol. So I'm going to call them ponies from here on out!

I don't really remember a lot of specifics about the "tasks" that they performed, so I'll leave a lot of that to the imagination, but after a bit it became kind of clear that the main guy's (I am following this story from this dude's perspective) girl best friend is starting to show signs of being the next princess. Her two friends are very happy for her and still just kind of along for the ride.

Meanwhile, there is like... dark forces at play. I guess every story needs conflict. But there seems to be some kind of dark energy involved in turning someone into the princess, and if they are not careful, the prospective princess can become corrupted and they'll get like.. an evil princess instead of something? There are several large, beastly figures who seem to be on the "dark side" and they are trying to sabotage things so that they can, I guess, turn the princess dark and I guess this would mean she would allow the "evil" creatures to rule instead?? Idk?? It was kind of unclear, because the "dark" beasts also seemed to be like.. working for the former princess? Idk, it was a dream, it didn't really make sense so I'm just kinda telling it in a way that might be coherent.

So anyway, it turns out that the reason this competition was held was because the former princess died, but there is also a KING. Dont ask me why the king is a king but the princess isnt a queen, I think it's running on pony logic idk. But the king is just kinda flying around, and he keeps showing up to talk to our main character guy. It seems at first like he is just kinda bored or just an old man trying to pass on wisdom to the youth, idk. This happens a few times, but I can't remember anything specific that happens.

So on one of these occasions, they get jumped by one of the dark beasties, and the king tells main guy to run, but king ends up dying, I think cause he is distracted by making sure home boy is safe. Also as far as I know idk if they really have powers or anything, I decided they were ponies, but they don't really use a lot of magic in this dream, mostly just flying.

So now the king is ALSO dead. Which MEANS.. that a new king will arise as well!!!

(P.S. the king was really cool looking, his name was like Silverwing or something and he was very beautiful like an ethereal wisp of silver wind, idk, you gotta imagine him as pretty)

Well, the next parts are kinda fuzzy so I'll just skip to the part that makes sense. As you might predict, our main guy starts to show signs of BEING KING. His neck starts getting a little thicker and his wings a little longer. I remember there being like a flashback sequence to all the times the former king visited him and he has an epiphany that the king KNEW he was his successor (or that he chose him? not totally sure)

HOWEVER. He is not exactly thrilled about this. He didn't really sign up to be in this contest for royalty, he just wanted to support his friend. He also makes the realization that if she's the princess and he's the king, that means they are essentially like soulmates or whatever, so he starts having a crisis about having to be in love with one of his friends. Also he doesn't really know if he wants the responsibility of being royalty. He is saying all of this to his other guy best friend, btw, who is still there but does almost nothing important. So I guess that guy is the only person who knows.

So then it kinda felt like a montage of like.. him doing things and trying to hide the fact that he is becoming kingly. Meanwhile, his princess friend has now like.. started to transition to becoming royalty, she isn't fully evolved or whatever yet, but she has attendants and her own guarded area and I guess like they just have to keep her safe and happy so she doesn't "go dark" or whatever?

Well, at one point, main guy goes to visit her, and they almost don't let him in cause he isn't part of the upper crust, so to speak. But they recognize him as one of the princess's little friends so they let him in.

He wants to just speak to her, I don't really remember if there was a reason he went there. But he manages to get her alone. And they are talking and I can't remember if he tells her the truth about himself or if she just like.. notices he is different, but she gets excited when she realizes he is the next king! Cause remember, she had a crush on him from the beginning, so she starts talking about how awesome it is that they'll get to be together. But main guy shows obvious hesitance at this. I don't think he dislikes her, but I think he just wasn't prepared for any of this.

Well, his less-than-enthusiastic reaction hurts her feelings a lot. But instead of being cool about it, she gets upset and decides to oust him as the next king! So then everybody starts like.. clamoring over him and shit, they start treating him differently immediately!

Well, I feel like something else happens after this but I don't really remember, but I do remember there being another montage type sequence where it's just dude man getting like.. pampered and attended to at first he is nervous about it but then he's just like.. livin it up! He is treated like royalty now, quite literally, and he is relishing in it now!

And I feel like the dream was heading in the direction of some kind of moral about hubris or something, but I ended up waking up around this part.

I wanted to know how it ended so I tried to go back to sleep and keep having the same dream, but everything was a little different after I fell back asleep.

It was like the premise was the same, but they were closer to humans that ponies, and there were like.. dragons or something, and the new king guy was like.. using an umbrella to fly instead of wings? And his mom was there? And he was about to fight something? Idk, it got all messed up and wasn't quite the same story anymore so I just gave up.

But! I think it's a really fun concept and would be fun to write out in full, at least short story form, and come up with a satisfying ending lol. I don't think I would make them ponies, though, it didn't really feel like a pony society even if my brain thought that's what it was doing lol.

If anyone reads this, feel free to leave comments expanding on this idea, I would love to know how this story ends! O:

[blueharborhq]

RUBY MORRISEY is looking for their ESTRANGED CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND. For more details about the connection, read below!

BASIC INFORMATION

CHARACTER NAME — Ruby Morrisey.

CATEGORY — Platonic / romantic / antagonistic, depending.

TYPE OF CONNECTION — Estranged childhood best friend.

CONNECTION NAME — Any appropriate name for the FC.

CONNECTION AGE — 27 - 33.

SUGGESTED FACECLAIMS — Completely up to the applicant, I'm not picky! Some suggestions are: Nychaa Nuttanicha, Keiynan Lonsdale, Kiowa Gordon, Nana Komatsu, Kento Yamazaki, Mackenyu, Archie Reneaux, Moon Gayoung, Krystal Jung, Zion Moreno, Khadijha Red Thunder, Kofe Siriboe.

DESCRIPTION

ruby is a blue harbor native who was pretty impulsive and drifted a lot here and there trying to find themself. this muse would've been right alongside them the whole way. depending on vibe, they could either have been highly against ruby's more impulsive choices, such as beginning to smoke, or gone right along with them for the muse's reasons of their own.

when ruby left blue harbor, they mentioned nothing about it except that they were going off to college. they wouldn't have mentioned never wanting to return, and contact between these two would've been slim pickings. very much like the post of i see my best friend on instagram and wish her happy birthday / remember when her birthday is but we never speak to each other.

they came back several years later and then focused on honey bee tea. we can work out the timeline, because they've been here a while, but my initial feeling is very keep missing each other. they probably know of the other's presence in blue harbor, but it's up to us and our plotting if we want them to have interacted by now, or avoided each other on purpose. ruby themself would be ashamed of their past self and want to make up for it, but does your muse want anything to do with that?

would be somewhat amusing / rom-com adjacent if your muse applied to work at honey bee tea, and came in for the interview, and that's how they met face-to-face all over again. but not required!

i'm imagining a lot of are you still awake? and that strange kind of yearning that happens when you're trying to reconnect with someone who ghosted you, who you thought you lost, etc. whether it's romantic or stays platonic is completely up to our plotting vibes, though i do imagine when they last knew each other, ruby 100% had a crush on your muse.

do you need to be contacted by the potential applicant? — Not necessary, but appreciated!

[the-celluloid-correspondent]

Quickie Reviews

The Taste of Things

Dodin Bouffant and his lover Eugenie's lives are surrounded by the art of cooking. They are in love, but she refuses to marry him, so he decides to cook a meal for her to change her mind. 

The Taste of Things is a delicious feast as we follow two master cooks perfecting and bonding over their shared passion. It is a simple film that dives into the simple pleasures of life through the art of cooking. Every scene evolving cooking is mouthwatering and soothing. The first 40 minutes of the film have very little dialogue as we watch our characters prepare a multi-course feast that lasts an entire day. Then as the film transitions into this love story, it is simple and sweet as it shows how far a simple jester can go. And the chemistry between Benoit Magimel and Juliette Binoche is beautiful to watch. However, the film is a little long for my taste and it does drag in the latter half of the film. With that stated, The Taste of Things is a beautiful film that does not deserve to be dragged through the mud because it was picked over Anatomy of a Fall. 

My Rating: B

Perfect Days

Hirayama seems utterly content with his simple life as a toilet cleaner in Tokyo. Outside of his structured routine, he enjoys his passion for music and books. And he loves the trees.

Perfect Days unfolds as a minimalist film, immersing viewers in the intriguing world of a man who finds contentment in life's simple pleasures. Following Hirayama through his meticulously structured week, the film reveals the ebb and flow of his daily experiences. Despite facing challenges, he remains undeterred, and steadfast in his commitment to savoring each moment. Dialogue takes a back seat, allowing the film to convey its themes and character nuances through subtle gestures and the daily cadence of life. Koji Yakusho delivers a remarkably subtle yet powerful performance, skillfully portraying the beauty of simplicity and the profound impact of solitary moments.

Suncoast

While caring for her dying brother, a teenager strikes up an unlikely friendship with an eccentric activist who protests one of the most landmark medical cases of all time. 

Suncoast was so close to greatness, but its underdeveloped and shallow story holds it back. When the narrative was focused on the conflict between Doris (Nico Parker) and her mother (Laura Linney), was when the film was at its strongest. It was a heartbreaking family drama about the inevitability of death and how it can tear a family apart, especially when one is taken too soon. Then when the inevitable emotional finally comes, it is heartbreaking to watch and Nico Parker delivers a harrowing performance as she grieves for her loved ones. However, when the film focuses on the coming-of-age elements and explores why Doris wants to get out of her family, is where the film stumbles. Doris’s new friend group feels incredibly shallow as they are all portrayed as the most stereotypical fake friend group you can imagine. Then when exploring themes of grief and faith with Woody Harrelson’s character, the themes that his character is set up to explore are never really explored. Overall, Suncoast was so close to greatness, that it just needed a little more polishing.

My Rating: B-

Drive-Away Dolls

Two friends take a spontaneous trip to Tallahassee Florida, but things quickly go awry when they cross paths with a group of inept criminals along the way. 

The basic story of Drive-Away Dolls has the potential to be a fun rom-com. But, its poor execution feels like a film student's first film. It’s poorly made as the direction is all over the place and the editing is jarring.  Furthermore, the movie is not even funny as every joke just made me cringe terribly. This quality is a bit unacceptable given that this is directed and written by Ethan Coen. However, the film’s biggest crime is that I could not stand Margaret Qualley’s character. I found her character to be annoying and incredibly inconsiderate of others. She cheats on her girlfriend and pressures another friend into having hook-up s*x. Her lack of caring and awareness was infuriating, to say the least. However, I did enjoy the performance from Geraldine Viswanathan who kept some of my sanity through this somewhat trainwreck of a movie. Overall, I just expected more from a Coen Brother. 

My Rating: C

[adamwatchesmovies]

Bewitched (2005)

While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...

During the Mid ‘00s, there was a brief trend of taking popular television series from the ‘60s and onwards and re-imagining/comedically interpreting them as films. Bewitched must be one of the worst examples. It’s unfunny, wastes the talents of its stars and squanders its potential.

After a series of box-office flops, Jack Wyatt (Will Ferrell) agrees to play the role of Darrin in a remake of the 1960s sitcom Bewitched. He insists on being the show's star, which means the producers must cast a nobody in the role of his witch wife, Samantha. Isabel Bigelow (Nicole Kidman), an actual witch, sees the role as an opportunity to step away from the world of sorcery she’s grown tired of but soon becomes displeased with her narcissistic co-star.

When in a leading role, Will Ferrell and his comedic style tends to be polarizing. Either audiences think he's a riot, or they can't stand him. In this case, neither camp will have any fun. It isn’t that he’s everdoing his schtick. Actually, the only laughs you get come when director Nora Ephron allows him to let loose. Even then, she lets him go on for too long half the time but he actually succeeds in generating chuckles, unlike the script Nora co-wrote with her sister, Delia Ephron. Steve Carell has a brief role and he’s annoying. Michael Caine as Isabel’s father is slightly amusing but nothing he does goes anywhere and the smiles you get when he's on-screen come from the actor’s charisma, not his lines. Isabel’s newfound friends (Kristin Chenoweth and Heather Burns) are useless, Jack’s sycophant producer Ritchie (Jason Schwarztman) is irritating. You don’t even get a funny talking puppet cat. If the movie had been funny, the gag where Isabel literally rewinds time would’ve been amusing. It isn’t, so all you can do is think about how stupid she must be for forgetting about this spell every other time.

I saved my complaints about the magic for now, because it’s what ultimately sinks the ship. Overall, the fact that Isabel can cast spells means NOTHING. While on TV, the production crew use special effects to make her “mother” Endora (Shirley MacLain) appear. Jack’s lack of charisma makes everyone hate him and love Isabel. She didn’t really have to audition for the role - she just gets the part because she can wiggle her nose. She doesn’t even want to use magic so she doesn’t except in a few scenes you could edit out or turn into fantasy/dream sequences. You could’ve made this movie as just two people on the set of a TV series but that would've forced Bewitched to ditch many of its favourite “gag”. See, Isabel was raised by witches and warlocks, so she has no idea what the Muggle world is like. In fact, she barely understands English. She’s so dumb she depends on her spellcasting to get through the day when she isn’t trapped in a standard, boring rom-com.

Bewitched throws enough darts toward its target to score a couple of hits. For viewers, they come at a steep price. On top of the poorly written and conceived story, the lousy direction, and the non-sensical or confusing aspects (I still can’t figure out if Carole Shelley’s character is Isabel’s real aunt coincidentally called Clara or a character from the show somehow brought to life), this is a romantic comedy that’s never the least bit romantic. Will Ferrell and Nicole Kidman have charm as individuals but there are no sparks between them. Bewitched deserves to be burned at the stake. (October 26, 2020)

[canichangemyblogname]

Follow up: RW&RB

Score: 2.5/5 ⭐ Conclusion: It’s a fucking rom-com, it’s not politically profound Recommendation: do not watch WC: 2307

What annoys me the most about the "discourse" surrounding this movie is how some queer people are shutting down conversations about the "trope-y-ness" of this story and how it was stripped of its major queer narratives.

Some people online are using the existence of other queer men to sort-of shush or minimize critical opinions of this movie. I’ve seen several takes bring up the fact that there are gay men who enjoyed this movie as if that somehow cancels out critique of it. And I’ve seen people also bring up the queer men behind the movie's production as if this means that this movie is a bastion of queer liberation. For example, I came across a fairly popular TikTok video of a young queer woman telling a queer man that when he says the film was made for the straight audience and engages in Yaoi-style tropes, he is erasing all the men who enjoy the story and erasing the contributions of Director Matthew López and Intimacy Coordinator Robbie Taylor Hunt, both gay men. She called the man who voiced his opinion "toxic" and complained about him commenting on a video where she was on her "absolute best fandom behavior." Because people are only able to analyze media through the lens of fandom wars and "ships.”

So, let's not ignore the contributions of Matthew López, who described the movie as one of the most expensive fanfictions ever made. Let's talk about the implications that has on this story. Let's discuss how fanfiction isn't the bastion of queer liberation people insist it is. Let's address the pervasiveness of sex negativity and purity myths in fanfiction tropes. Let's have that conversation about how tropes "tame" queerness and provide an "acceptable reason" to be gay for the straight audience. Let's talk about how having queer people at the helm will not intrinsically result in queer media.

As I mentioned previously, the fan fiction tropes the movie employs— enemies to friends to lovers, royalty AU, belligerent sexual tension, fake relationship, forced proximity, forced companionship, teeth-clenched teamwork, relationship of convenience/contractual relationship, mutual pining, and loved you all along— make it devoid of any authentic human connection. A trope will never reflect the complexity of human relationships and norms, and it is never supposed to. Tropes are not meant to capture the subtleties of how we build romantic and platonic relationships. They will inherently lack awareness of the social, historical, and political nuances of male same-sex attraction and queerness.

This is why it is so disappointing that the movie cut plot lines dedicated to Alex coming to understand his sexuality, as his internal struggle helped give social, historical, and political significance to his queerness. Tropes like contractual relationship and forced proximity only offer a jumping-off point in the book while enemies to friends to lovers happens in the background amid conversations about how these characters cope with being notable to history and modern politics. The book firmly places both Alex and Henry in context through references to historical figures, especially historical queer figures, and addresses their potential footprint on modern politics and history as the queer descendants of national legacies and heads of state. This is why the line "History, huh" is reasonably affecting in the book but utterly meaningless in the movie.

Tropes also seem to "tame" the characters into a new set of social boxes. Fan fiction tropes often add another set of social conventions to existing social conventions, like living in a heterosexist society, to filter queerness through a heterosexual lens. They erase a man's queerness so he's gay only in ways that heterosexual people or heterosexist society can imagine it being okay. Tropes essentially provide an "acceptable" excuse to be gay. Two men falling in love is queer, except when they're forced together and forced to make nice by forces beyond their control and choice because then it's okay.

It reminds me of a specific brand of hypothetical questions that boys would ask girls in middle school: "Would you go out with me if I was the last man alive?" In the minds of many straight people, especially heteropessimists, there is an inevitability to relationships. Men and women "inevitably" end up together unless circumstances prevent or compel otherwise. In RW&RB, the movie, a romantic relationship befell the main characters because circumstances beyond their control and above their choice drove them together. These particular circumstances- including US/UK foreign relations and each of their family's sociopolitical positions- just happened to push two men together. So, of course, neither of them would "reasonably" end up with a woman. The "circumstances" did not allow for that. It's as if their relationship came to be for the same reason the last two people alive on a deserted island must work together to survive.

I can understand why this type of story may appeal to queer people, given that queer relationships have often been forced apart by circumstances beyond one's choice and control. To each their own. But people must understand that these romantic tropes exist precisely because queer people are often not allowed to choose to be together or define their relationships on their own terms. These stories are symptomatic of social norms that have kept queer people apart. As I said before, a contractual relationship or relationship of obligation (they signed NDAs and everything) that blossoms into something more is an "acceptable" excuse. It offers plausible deniability: "We're not really gay for each other; we just have to work together." Those around them will even buy into this excuse until they're outed without their consent on more than one occasion (think: Zahra believing Alex was just taking an interest in international affairs before she caught the two of them).

"But Alex and Henry choose to be together at the end of the movie." While it is important to note that the latter 1/3 of the movie is tonally dissimilar from the rest of the film, it is much more important to note that neither Alex nor Henry were given much in the way of choices throughout the story. They were not given a choice as to whether or not they worked together following cake-gate (think: the what if I set myself on fire, we'll send the ashes to Hethro interaction and Henry joking about how if Alex kills him, he won't be obligated to carry on the ruse) and then the moment they decided to find a way to love each other on their own terms, their power to self-determination was ripped out from underneath them once again, leading to the only scene in the movie with any of the same queer messaging from the book. The film deploys the "forced out of the closet" trope, and while the King gives the impression that Henry has the option to deny everything and return to the closet, this is a false impression. He did not have a choice in coming out, and he did not have a choice in going back into the closet. The United States and the FSOTUS had already come forward with an official statement from the White House podium. The Palace's hands were tied. Henry had but one choice: to be public.

"Okay, but these same tropes also exist in straight romantic media!" Yes. Exactly. I will disregard how the use of tropes commonly seen in straight media contributes to the "straight-ification" of queerness to focus more heavily on how relationships born out of love are still a relatively new idea in the history of m/f relationships as an institution. For example, the institution of m/f marriage was established as a contractual obligation to fulfill social and political functions. Women did not, and even still do not, get to choose their partners. That's why the idea of two people forced together by obligation falling in love is a romantic fantasy. There's a comfort in the belief that no matter the circumstances, because of the circumstances, this man will inevitably fall in love with "you." It's also why straight romantic media is often told from a woman's point of view.

Our romance media tropes- from "there's only one bed" to "we're forced together, but fall in love anyway"- are responses to the sex-negativity and purity culture norms forced upon gender and sexual minorities. They provide a workaround for these norms but never a direct challenge. It's like the Family Guy episode "Prick Up Your Ears," where conservative Christian abstinence-only sex ed leads to kids having ear sex. Ear sex was the workaround to the abstinence and purity rules they'd been taught, not the challenge. We still have stringent rules around who can touch whom and under what circumstances. Our romantic fantasy tropes reflect this. So, a trope like "there's only one bed" provides the characters with a justification for their intimacy without directly challenging why it is taboo.

What's particularly great about RW&RB for straight audiences, namely straight women audiences, is that because the relationship in RW&RB only features men, no woman has to confront social taboos around women's bodies and sexualities. On top of this, the main characters are just bland enough for straight women to project onto and conventional enough not to be offensive to straight or gay people. All of this combined allows straight women audiences to engage a little closer with the socially taboo and "obscene" without rethinking how they construct their bodies and actions to conform to current gender and sexual social values. Some are going so far as to place themselves into the fantasy, like an M/F/M reader-insert. For many of them, Henry and Alex are Nick and Taylor having a 'lil onscreen fun. This genre of story also allows them to avoid the reminder that current gender and sexual social values are designed for the benefit of men at the expense of women's comfort, pleasure, and safety. As I previously said, "It's just two hot guys" to them. It's like making two Ken dolls kiss. They can enjoy it without thinking about their own body or their own dissatisfaction.

RW&RB never addresses why a m/m relationship is considered taboo, historically or currently. It certainly doesn't address why the m/m relationship between the descendants of two of the most powerful military empires in modern history would be considered taboo. Addressing that would require addressing the historic and modern intricacies of sex and gender under imperialism, US/UK relations, domestic nationalism, and global foreign relations (including how US and UK imperialism has shaped international relations). As I mentioned, RW&RB suffers from inaccurate and inadequate depictions of real-world issues and historical systems to the point of tone-deafness. That tone-deafness expands beyond the movie's replacing a homophobic Republican politician with a political minority and even beyond its erasure of historical context and political conflict. That tone-deafness extends to the near-romanticism and clear defanging of imperialism.

The book's struggle with minimizing modern and historical political conflicts (namely, British imperialism) was terrible enough. (In the book, somehow Henry was always the exception to the rule- like his use of private funds rather than blood money- despite existing within a system that will always benefit him [and also always cage him as a queer man]. Henry makes no effort to change that system despite voicing his disagreement. He just abdicates.) The movie's disregard for the legacies of the institutions which the characters exist within is worse. At least the book tried to reference modern injustices in the American political system (namely, gerrymandering). The movie just provided some shallow pillow talk with a somewhat awkward mention of immigration while managing to doge any reference to the current pitfalls in the U.S. immigration system- including the border crisis where a record 853 migrants died crossing the U.S.-Mexico border in 2022.

There's more to this than them both being men. They aren't anonymous people in the world, and while the movie mentions this on several occasions (Henry belongs to Britain, Alex will have more free time after his mother's reelection, and have you ever thought about who you'd be if you were an anonymous person in the world), it fails to address the implications of this lack of anonymity on anything other than Henry's psyche. So, the viewer is only left with a conglomeration of tropes designed to make a m/m relationship more "acceptable" to a broad audience and avoid questioning why modern society wouldn't accept these specific men being together. (The King only gave a vague half-answer about British tradition, but if we're honest with ourselves, they would spark more outrage in the U.S. not because they were both men but because Henry is a Prince of England.)

The movie is fundamentally unable to make a commentary about modern queer politics, queer history, or queerness on an international stage. And the thing is... that's fine (I guess). It does not really need to. People only need to realize that it was never going to and was never intended to. Claiming that this movie; this very expensive piece of fan fiction, is a bastion of queer liberation would be like claiming a Hallmark Christmas movie makes poignant feminist commentary. To continue to insist that this movie does something significant is nothing short of insulting. And to suggest that having queer men at the helm makes this movie powerful is nothing short of tokenism. Representation is more than having a social or political minority fill a role. You have to consider the story they are or are not telling and what message that story leaves behind.

"[RW&RB] tells a shallow and uninspiring story. The writing and performances will not leave the audience with many deep or complicated thoughts about the pressures of conformity, the harms of assumptions, or the benefits of safe spaces to come into one's 'self.' There was no message to sit with and contemplate when the credits rolled. It's perfectly forgettable. [It] is not a story that will stick in your mind or leave behind a profound legacy."

RW&RB certainly won't make history, huh.

Movie Review: RW&RB

Score: 2.5/5 ⭐ Conclusion: Yaoi Fanfiction strikes again Recommendation: do not watch WC: 1730

I will credit Casey McQuiston, the author of Red White & Royal Blue, for writing a book where coming out is depicted as something that can be stressful and daunting but not life-endangering. Her story actually focused on what Alex and Henry’s relationship would mean for history, each other, and their respective countries. These two characters actually grappled with what it means to be queer and in the public eye. They contemplated the erasure of queerness from history and struggled with the (false) choice between making history and being their authentic selves. In the book, both characters took time to discover what they wanted out of life and their relationship in a way that felt genuine. Alex exploring his queer identity felt organic and unique to his background and social position.

However, the book Red White & Royal Blue is prone to conventionality, cliche, dull and brusque dialogue, and heavy-handed political references (oh, the emails). The book features uncreative and baffling political conflict that could rival the taxation treaty debacles in The Phantom Menace, and it reveals the author’s inexperience with the subtleties of U.S. and U.K. history and politics. Additionally, the book's happy resolution feels underdeveloped. The characters got their happily ever after before the dust settled. It felt like the author slapped a bandage over the very-real relationship hurdles Alex and Henry had yet to work through.

Fortunately, the book was written to be a fun, queer rom-com rather than a serious work of fiction with a profound political message. It’s frivolous. It’s charming. The Los Angeles Review of Books called it "calorie-free." Unfortunately, the movie exacerbates the book's faults. The movie’s story is conventional and cliche in the worst possible ways. It tells a shallow and uninspiring story. The writing and performances will not leave the audience with many deep or complicated thoughts about the pressures of conformity, the harms of assumptions, or the benefits of safe spaces to come into one's "self." There was no message to sit with and contemplate when the credits rolled. It's perfectly forgettable. RW&RB is not a story that will stick in your mind or leave behind a profound legacy. In fact, the whole movie feels a little like a series of product placements for condoms and lube. Oh, and PrEP. 

Virality leaves no place for nuance, so those online break stories into small and often context-less moments: a series of gifs and a set of expressions. People hyper-focus on a particular moment— often one that is emotional or intimate— in which they wish to be in one of the character's shoes. They want an image or video that can be circulated rapidly and widely that, when separated from its context, allows any meaning or emotion to infuse with the imagery. RW&RB, the movie, delivers on that, and only that. It was made for the virality of the contextless moment where viewers can imprint their wants, desires, and feelings onto the scene. That's why movie promotion consisted primarily of 30-second clips of intimacy and emotional stills, and that's why the movie’s continued hype is primarily seen in a series of fan cams of the characters where their gazes, touches, tears, and smiles are reserved not for each other, but the viewer.

As a result of this hollow, context-less production, Red White & Royal Blue is formulaic and hackneyed, lacks personality, and its plot has been stripped of the messaging and the mental and emotional conflict which redeems the book. Compared to the book, the movie attempted to dedicate one, maybe two scenes to the importance of privacy and coming into your own on your own time in a space and environment where it is safe to explore identity. However, these scenes come too late and have no prior development. For those unfamiliar with the characters, the scenes feel out of place, and the concerns the characters raise in these scenes seem to come out of left field. When Alex confronts Henry about ghosting him near the end of the movie, I half expected Henry to mention something about Alex not keeping things casual enough because he can only “belong” to Alex momentarily, as this is all they had previously discussed. I was not expecting Galitzine to give a very heartfelt monologue about the pressures of politics and existing in the public eye as a queer man because the movie had forgotten to provide us with Henry’s motivations and main goals at any point previously. Production cut too much from book plot lines that focused on the main characters finding themselves and figuring out what they want, leaving them unable to develop the primary conflict later in the story. If the book is calorie-free, the movie is devoid of any nutrition.

The lack of depth leaves this movie feeling more like a Hallmark movie, a Disney Channel Original, or even the intro scene of a porno where everyone is talking and still has their pants on. It’s bland, and the acting certainly did not add any flavor. Zakhar Perez’s performance comes straight out of a Nickelodeon special. As Rachel Handler put it in Vulture, his performance oscillates between “Overtrained Child Star and Did Somebody Order a Big Sausage Pizza.” Gone is the nerdy, studious, earnest, and politically impressive Alex from the book, replaced by an arrogant, cheesy, ripped frat boy. On the exact other end of the spectrum is one of the few decent performances in the movie. Galitzine brought his dramatic background to a tonally inconsistent movie, making him feel out of place for the production quality and the genre and leaving me to wonder why the hell he took this role. And do not get me started on Thurman’s interpretation of a Texas accent.

This story felt rushed and stiff, and the character’s relationships and interactions felt forced and artificial. The production struggles with lackluster writing, exemplified by painfully cliche dialogue (and I thought the blunt dialogue of the book was bad). The story lacks a consistent tone, trying for a somber, serious, and heartfelt tone in a few scenes toward the end, something which felt very out of place for the Hallmark-esque camp of the rest of the story. It's as if the director and writers forgot the genre they were creating for. Scenes intended to be endearing were often flat and stale, while intimate and heart-wrenching scenes were painfully awkward, worsened by a seeming lack of post-production editing that left the characters blinking at each other on screen and very strange lighting decisions that left every scene so bright they bordered on overexposed. The movie has the same quality but none of the personality of a free YouTube movie, exemplified by insipid green-screen backgrounds and visual effects. The sets were tiny, the wardrobe uninspiring, and the crowds were eerily devoid of extras.

RW&RB’s terrible portrayal of U.S. and U.K. politics is emblematic of its significant writing, messaging, and direction issues. No one involved in the production understands how an election is run or how British society operates. Why was the first family involved in developing campaign strategies and discussing them on state time with the White House Chief of Staff? What was that mess of an electoral map featured at the end of the movie? (First, discussing a campaign on state time is a crime. Second, the President and Chief of Staff do not handle the development of campaign strategies. Third, a Democrat has not lost Minnesota since ’72, and if they were to lose Minnesota, the election would look more like ’72, where 49 of the 50 states voted for Nixon.) Who allowed a member of the Royal Family to appear at the DNC, practically endorsing the Democratic candidate, and later join her on stage for her acceptance speech? Where are the British tabloids? What is a Hanover-Stuart (also: how and why)? How many times would this movie call the third-in-line for the throne the Prince of Wales and the heir? The British government is homophobic, but the US is a bastion of progressiveness? Texas, blue? MSNBC???

These inaccurate and inadequate depictions of real-world issues and historical systems ultimately distract from the fact that this movie makes no commentary on queerness in modern politics despite that being a theme of the book. This movie critically lacks notice of the social, historical, and political nuances of male same-sex attraction or queerness in U.S. and U.K. politics. So much so that I would go so far as to say the movie is tone-deaf. For example, the main antagonist from the book— a homophobic Republican politician prone to abusing his power— is replaced by a mean, jealous ex-partner who is also a queer Latino and a political reporter. An example of tyranny was replaced by a political minority whose job is a pillar of democracy. 

The main characters’ relationship is “gay” only insofar as they're both men, but their relationship often seems to lack queerness. Director Matthew López described the movie as one of the most expensive fan fictions ever made. (What did that money go into because it could not have been the CGI?) The fan fiction tropes the movie employs— enemies to friends to lovers, royalty AU, forced companionship, relationship of convenience, mutual pining, etc.— don't just make the story devoid of any real human connection but also seem to "tame" the characters into a new set of social boxes. It's like these tropes provide an "acceptable" reason to be gay and, in the process, erase a man's queerness so he's gay only in ways that heterosexual people or heterosexist society can imagine. The movie filters queerness through a heterosexual lens and replaces one set of social conventions with another. The main characters become escapist fantasies that are just bland enough for straight women to project onto and conventional enough not to be offensive. Because this movie is escapism and self-indulgence for the straight audience, it has a very narrow view of how queer relationships should be. It's also the perfect escapism for straight women because no woman is featured in the relationship. No woman has to have her heart broken. No woman has to confront social taboos. No woman has to risk anything. It's just two hot guys. I keep returning to what Jackson McHenry said in Vulture: "It smacks of all the tropes of Yaoi-style stories written about gay men.”

I also still cannot figure out what warranted the R rating in this movie.