#i probably would have just gotten one of those but alas that is not what i was able to find

[weaseltotheface]

ok lets type on this thing

it’s ok

i do think i like the anne pro better but i can get used to this one and i can use the anne pro with my laptop maybe cuz it’s got bluetooth and i like typing on it

i do like this wrist rest a lot tho it’s very nice to have and it does really help lol

all in all i wasn’t expecting it to be as nice as my anne pro and it’s not but it’s still nice to type on and it’s actually a little more quiet than my anne pro so i’m sure that kate will like that more

the space key is....less than ideal but it i’ll get use to it, im sure its something i can mod later down the line if it get super annoying

and im sure my brother will appreciate having a fullsize keyboard when he’s watching the cat next month cuz he did NOT like the 60% layout even tho it rocks

[aestherin]

KEEP MY HEART

goal 30: something wrong

NOTES: this took longer than i thought 💀 anw it was more tamed than i imagined omg yay!! ^^

Scaramouche thought the car ride home was plenty suffocating, but nothing could compare to how heavy the air was once he got home with his mother.

An extensive home that is reasonably far from other neighboring houses, with a spacious lot surrounding the house itself. It could've been such a perfect home — if not for the two broken people living in it.

As his mother remained silent while the two of them exited the car, Scaramouche thought he had at least the whole night to prepare for his mother's outburst. Alas, they haven't even made it to the front door yet, and he had already started hearing something.

"Kunikuzushi."

He merely turned to her, not even saying a word.

"Just what happened?" Scaramouche could not get something from his mother's voice at all. She wasn't yelling — it would be out of character for her to do so anyway. But she obviously wasn't happy either. But at least it wasn't that cold, too?

At a loss for words, the young man forced himself to focus his gaze on one random thing, perhaps the grass peacefully lying on their front yard.

'I'll just have to let her say anything and everything she wants to say, and I'll say nothing. And then tomorrow, we'll just continue like nothing happened,' he thought.

And so he did, letting his mother's words pass through one ear to the other. 'How can you let yourself play like that', 'how can you allow people to see you like that', 'just what would they say about you now', 'this isn't what we trained for'... Nothing he wasn't used to. It was all alright. He can go through another sermon session just fine.

Until he was knocked out of his stupor by a certain statement from his mother.

"Perhaps I should've gotten between you and that companion of yours I saw in the freedom wall. I think she is distracting you, maybe you should stay away from her."

A sudden surge of rage came over him, prompting him to finally meet eyes with his own mother. Ei was slightly taken aback, not used to receiving such a hateful look from her one and only son.

"What?"

The woman could not utter a response, still in shock at the state her son is in. She was so used to him being so indifferent whenever they talk, making it seem as if her advices and sermons have no effect at the slightest.

Meanwhile, Scaramouche, at the lack of response from his mother, could not stop himself anymore.

Scaramouche felt like a balloon — thinned, worn out, and keeping too much inside.

Much more than he could handle.

And his mother's words that night felt like a sharpened needle.

"Why the fuck do I always have to do what you tell me?" He finally snapped.

"What?"

"Can't you see that I'm trying?! And yet you always see something!" Scaramouche gritted his teeth.

"You always see something to criticize! You always see something like a flaw! You always see something wrong!" He yelled, shortly followed by a bitter laugh. "Heck, maybe you even consider my birth to be something wrong."

A swift slap cut him off.

Somehow, the physical pain inflicted by his mother got him out of his continuous outbursts, replacing his seething anger with shock. No matter how cold and strict his mother was, she had never gotten physical with him.

Refusing to believe what just happened, a wondering Scaramouche looked back up to his mother's face — only to see her eyes dripping and her cheeks stained.

'Are those tears?'

'My mother... crying?'

"How could you say something like that Kunikuzushi?"

"How can you treat your life so lightly like that?" Ei sobbed. "Your birth wasn't something wrong — it was the most beautiful thing that happened to me."

The young man just stared at her, probably in disbelief.

"You are my son, a part of me, something even more important than myself —"

"— and that's why I never wish to see you hurt."

"Hah," Scaramouche scoffed. "Really?"

The man could not do anything but laugh ironically. She doesn't want to see him hurt, she says?

'I hate to break it to you mom, but you've been doing that for so long.'

How many lies would she feed him tonight?

"I don't want you to suddenly commit a mistake while playing, put yourself to shame, and be unnecessarily criticized and judged heavily." The purple-haired woman said. "And if that happens? Then what? You'll be so affected by all the backlash, and then you'll finally lose yourself?"

Scaramouche swore he never expected to see his mother cry so hard. In fact, crying was one of the things he thought his mother was incapable of doing. But what was she saying?

Where is she getting all this from?

"What?"

"I don't want anyone precious to me to ever experience that again."

"What the heck are you talking about, mom?"

It was a slip of the tongue, unconsciously going back to what he once used to call the woman in front of him. A slip of the tongue that he failed to catch, but did not go past his own mother, whose memories of the days when he used to call her 'mom' flashed by her eyes.

But before she could even explain herself, someone else made their presence known.

"Your mother had a sister, you see."

It was Yae.

His mother's old friend.

“Have you ever heard of Makoto?” The pink-haired lady asked. Scaramouche could not see the relevance of her question, but he decided to humor her nonetheless. “Who?”

“My twin sister.”

“You had a sister?!”

Scaramouche thought he knew a lot about his mother. But really, is he even qualified to say that he knew her if he knew nothing about her past before having him? Everything he knew about Ei were memories of them together. Her being a loving mother to him when he was little, her having Yae as her only friend, her suddenly changing her parental practices once he started his soccer career — all of them were memories of her after his existence.

Only now did he realize he never knew anything about his mother’s past.

Yae sighed. “How is he ever going to understand if you never told him about Makoto, Ei?”

“It’s too dark of a story. He might not be able to handle it.”

“And you think he can handle your coldness and strictness forever?”

“What, do you want me to discourage my son from his dreams of being a top soccer player by telling him that my twin sister fucked up on a game just once, got so many backlash and became the people’s punching bag, went depressed up to the point that she couldn’t handle it anymore and eventually lost herself?” Ei spat out. “I don’t want to scare him off from achieving his dreams, but I can’t also risk the possibility of him having the same experience as my sister.”

What the fuck?

Merely processing the things he was hearing already required so much from the young man. He could not bear to disturb the conversation between the two ladies, lest there are still some things he should hear.

“So you set high expectations for him?”

“It was the only way I thought of.”

“Have you ever considered the thought that you yourself may actually be ruining his dreams for him?”

“What?” Ei turned her gaze to Scaramouche for a moment, allowing her to once again notice the state that her son was in. Trembling hands clenched into fists, focused yet glossy eyes, and brows furrowed — she couldn’t tell if they were out of fury or confusion. Perhaps it was both.

“You are making your son hate that dream of his that you sought to protect with the way you are treating him, Ei.” Yae walked towards the young man and lightly tapped his shoulder. “What this kid wants is to have fun playing, not play under constant expectations and strictness from his mother.”

Scaramouche looked up at her, who only smiled at him in return. “Isn’t that right, Kunikuzushi?”

He turned his face away from her and immediately swatted her hand from his shoulder. “What would you know about what I want?”

“Oh? But was I wrong?” She grinned. “No response? I must’ve been right then.”

“Shut up.”

“You’re just salty I’m right.”

“I am not?” The guy scowled. “Stop making things up you annoying hag —“

“Uh, excuse me?! What hag?!”

A certain purple-haired woman remained all throughout the banter between her son and her friend. When was the last time her son spoke to her without reservations like that? No, when was the last time they even had a proper conversation, one where he isn’t replying with words not even amounting to a handful?

“Ei, I want to ask you something.” A voice brought her out of her trance. “How do the other players on your team look whenever they practice and play?”

“Tired.” Ei described exactly how the boys on the team looked whenever they were on the field. Their whole beings drenched in sweat, their limbs trembling, their breaths hurried.

But despite everything, she remembered that they were having fun.

“But were they having fun?”

“They were.”

“And how does your own son look whenever he’s on the field?”

For the first time that night, absolute silence reigned over their abode’s front yard.

“See?” The pink-haired woman smiled. “Don’t you want Kunikuzushi to have the same experience as everybody else on your team?”

For the first time, Scaramouche heard the two words he thought he would never ever hear coming out from his mother’s mouth.

“I’m sorry.”

KEEP MY HEART — scara x reader smau

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[egophiliac]

As someone who hasn’t played the twst game very long I just got into it. I wanted to know about events? Like do some not come back? For example do the Masquerade, Port, Beanfest, Ghost bride, starsending events. Do those come back? I hear people say how they missed their chance to get this great card like as if it won’t ever come back and then someone on Reddit will say something like “Oh beanfest happened twice on the JP server” so which events have gotten reruns so far? I would ask about more recent ones like the Easter one but idk if it’s too recent to know if get rerun or if they clarify that it won’t come back? I was really sad to find out about the Silk outfits I missed out on when they visit the scalding sands. I also was really sad to find out i missed out on the anniversary cards because I didn’t play the game yet. I wish they would add the anniversary cards to the store at least…I want to be apart of the celebration :’)

I was looking in the shop and saw all the different groovy items you need to groovify event cards and this question just came to me so I had the urge to ask someone…

welcome to Twst! 🎉 it is a bit confusing to jump right into, especially because. they're not always consistent. :') it sounds like you're probably playing on Eng, which I'm less familiar with, but I'll try based on what I know! (I also don't always remember everything, so somebody please correct me if I get something wrong!)

first, I do recommend the Twst wiki.gg, which seems to stay pretty up-to-date on events for both the Eng and JP versions! it's a great resource for when you want to see if/when an event ran or rerun. in general, I believe that the Eng version only does reruns that have already happened in JP, so if JP has a rerun that hasn't happened yet in Eng, they should get it too eventually! on the other hand, I don't think either version has ever rerun an event more than once. :( BUT this doesn't mean you're entirely out of luck, because:

anniversary events (March for JP, January for Eng) will usually offer a chance to get both an older event SSR and an older birthday SSR in the shop, via buying a special item with exchange currency (which you get by doing pulls on the anniversary gacha, I think you need to do 100-150 pulls for enough currency to buy the item to exchange for an SSR). only SSRs though, and you're limited to one each (one birthday, one event). so if there's an SSR you REALLY want and it's already had its rerun, it's probably worth planning to save up some keys for!

as for actual reruns, they seem to come in a few different flavors:

straight-up rerun, no changes or extra cards

unchanged event story, with a new SSR of a character who wasn't in the story (e.g. Applepom Jamil)

slightly rewritten event story that includes a new SSR (e.g. Ghost Marriage, they don't seem to do this anymore though)

completely new event story that acts as either a sequel or alternate-universe version of the original (e.g. Beans Day part 2, Fairy Gala IF) (though this is pretty rare and might actually count as a separate event, rather than a rerun?)

Master Chef/Culinary Crucible events have never gotten reruns (though they might start now that we've finally gotten through all the characters in JP, time will tell). birthday and Halloween events will also rerun the previous version in addition to the new one -- for instance, Eng should be getting a Glorious Masquerade rerun this year, followed by the new (Playful Land) Halloween event. and a birthday campaign will, in addition to the new card, have a separate pickup for the previous year's birthday card.

for the specific ones you mentioned -- I think Beanfest, Ghost Bride, Fireworks, and Starsending have already rerun in Eng, so those most likely will not be rerun again (at least not anytime soon). Masquerade should be coming back for you guys this Halloween, and Portfest JUST got its rerun in JP, so that should be coming too sometime in the future! (no new SSR though, alas, I was really hoping for a little marching band sailor boy Leona. 😔) the Easter event is the White Rabbit Fest, right? that one hasn't gotten a rerun in JP yet either, so it's still on the table!

all that said, it's entirely possible they'll change the rules at some point and start doing more reruns/chances to get older event cards, especially since the game's been going on for a few years now and some cards haven't been available for a pretty long time! there's only one card that they said was for-realsies limited-time-only and wouldn't ever be available again -- Platinum Grim, since he was to celebrate the 100th anniversary -- so. there's always a little bit of hope for everything else. :D (fairy gala Ortho PLEASE COME BACK SOB)

[pseudophan]

nora can i just ask… WHAT was he thinking? how was that lie ever going to work when they were doing everything so publicly in 2009? sure you can delete stuff but he must have known it was still out there anyway right? isn’t it pointless to be like i didn’t watch his videos when he was commenting on the interactive adventures like his life depended on it ?? he was trying to convince people he just happened to be in manchester one day with a friend and he just saw phil ???? when we all saw you counting down the days to meeting each other online like WHAT

https://x.com/pinofdnp/status/1855973085771387187?s=46

tweet link (it's one of the infamous 'we met through a mutual friend' claims)

to be fair to them both, if the phandom wasn't as unhinged as it was (is) they could've gotten away with that lie. kind of. dan and phil are hardly pr experts but this isn't really too crazy a move, like yeah the people who know the truth will always know the truth but if you tell a lie enough times then in theory new fans, and people who just never looked into it, are gonna go with your version of events and not question it. the main issue for dan and phil specifically was that their fanbase was essentially built on and around speculation about their relationship and cataloguing any and all proof of it. new fans and casuals often believed the lie at first just because like, why wouldn't they, but the second they stepped foot into the phandom they obviously discovered the not-so-hidden truth, because you didn't have to be a shipper or be looking for Phan Proof in order to come across it, all you had to do is search dan and phil on literally any website with a prominent phannie presence

to their credit they seemed to realise it wasn't gonna work pretty quickly, they abandoned the 'mutual friend' story almost immediately it feels like. then they went with the 'yeah we met online but we met up to collaborate' angle but i kind of feel like they didn't go too hard on that one, probably because they had finally started to learn that Oh My God Say Less Please Say Less Always Say Less Stop Talking Jesus Christ. like by far the most damning part of the clip in the tweet is dan insisting on being like "a lot of people seem to think-" about the actual truth like girl why would you plant that idea in the heads of those who hadn't heard it before. just say you met through a mutual friend and move on like fbsdhjfbdjksf. also at that point they kinda didn't give a fuck anymore, by the time they gave that infamous editing tips interview in 2015 they had long since abandoned trying to convince anyone they didn't meet because dan was an amazingphil fan and desperately wanted to befriend him because of it. the only part they were trying to hide at that point i would say was the whole y'know, fucking and sucking of it all

this whole reply is way too rambly and idk if it makes sense but i guess my point is IF dan and phil had a more casual core viewerbase (and also didn't give up on the lie immediately. and dan was less blatantly defensive about it) they probably could have made it work in the long run, even with the amount of evidence against it. i would go as far as to say that if not every then at least nearly every single influencer/celebrity/public figure of any kind have readily available information about them out there that most people, even fans of theirs, don't know about literally just because they wouldn't think to search for it. like how often does a Major Scandal break about some celeb and some people in the comments are like yea this has been known since 2004 everyone just stopped talking about it, lmao. not that dnp being gay for each other is a scandal but you know what i mean

basically they started telling that lie just as their popularity skyrocketed and i guess the hope was that the massive influx of new people would allow them to rewrite history, but alas...

[astolfofo]

I lowkey kinda feel like writing smth for dr ratio but take this idea for now:

Revisited the 36 questions musical (music in it is so banger my god). Imagine you're one of dr. ratio's old classmates. An academic rival if you will. You part ways with him after high school. You could not imagine going to a university with him. You pity the poor students that do.

But he does come back into your life. You've seen him occasionally at your job. YOu do your best to ignore him, treat him like you would with any other colleague that you might have known. At an arm's length. You're not friends with any of them. You certainty would not treat him with more kindness than you would with any other person. Suffice to say, although petty, you had never gotten over how he was just always just barely a mark or two above you.

That was until you realized that the distance between you two was so great, that he was now your boss. You found out he was a professor in a university through the grapevine of your coworkers who can't stop swooning over him. You tried to ignore them, focus on your work, but today, they were loudly announcing that he was going to be the manager of your department. Strange, you think to yourself. He had never seemed to have an interest in your line of work. He had always been highly theoretical. You had turn to be highly practical. He was one meant for the sciences, while you could only surmount to doing practical application. You'd have imagined he would be doing things that were beyond what the mundane could comprehend. He shouldn't be here.

But he was.

WHILE being a professor at one of the top universities. Countless accomplishments, probably a wall full of certificates and awards. You had grown not to care about things like that. But it still felt that he was invading the one thing you were good at. Still though, you wouldn't let it bother you. In the worst case, you'd switch companies, maybe move somewhere else and he wouldn't be a problem anymore.

But Dr. Ratio seems to have different ideas. Management under his hand was very different. You were immidieately promoted to the highest rank, below manager. Much to your distaste, you had told him multiple times to promote one of your coworkers. They had much better qualifications for becoming a manager than you did. But alas, your protests always came to deaf ears.

Suddenly you were crushed by work, tons of pressure, and under his scrutiny. He was a big fan of doing big, risky projects. Ones that you'd always be responsible for if you failed. You'd try to politely deny his requests, but he'd insist, threatening that you'd be fired if you didn't pull through.

At one point you had just had enough.

You coldly place your resignation onto his desk. The box of your belongings was balanced between your hand and your knees.

"What is the meaning of this?"

"My resignation. I'm leaving." You say simply. "Don't try to convince me to stay. Working under you is simply not something I am suited for."

He seems uninterested. He raises an eyebrow at you. "Is that so? I was under the impression that you were doing quite well."

You didn't know whether you wanted to laugh or scream in that second. You were sure your hair was going to turn half-white before he picked up a goddamn clue. You suppose passing out three times and looking like you had your eyes punched wasn't a strong enough indicator.

"Ah... well... I'm flattered you think that way, but I really think it's time for me to move on...."

"And your plan after this is...?"

"Oh. Maybe work at someplace else." You lie, "I have a few options I can choose from, I'll probably end up working at one of those."

Dr. Ratio looks at your face, and then looks up and down. You stand there akwardly waiting for his approval to leave. You began counting down seconds. If he wasn't going to let you leave in the next two minutes, you'd walk out the door yourself.

"Why don't we sit down and talk first? Before you leave."

What? "Oh no sir.. it's fine... really..."

"It's been a few years since we've last seen each other and talked, hasn't it? I was wondering when you were going to approach me again. It's just a shame it's in this way."

He turns around and puts the sheet of paper into the shredder. You look back at him wide-eyed, debating on whether you would just walk straight out.

"Why don't you set your things aside? Maybe put them back on your desk? It's not like you'll be leaving soon. Unless you want to retire now?"

You open your mouth preparing to yell every curse word you can at him.

"Save your insults for later. Now tell me why you pretended not to recognize me for the past year I've worked here."

[darling-im-wonderstruck]

hii!! could you write something where peter and reader go grocery shopping, then he gets lost in the store but it’s just super fluffy?? tysm :)

back to you | p.p.

synopsis : no matter what happens, no matter the circumstances, no matter the situation, you knew peter would always find his way back to you.

pairing : bf!peter parker x reader

wc : 589

warnings : flufffffff !! and peter being a chaotic idiot 😭

‎‎ ───── masterlist | request | navigation

a/n : hi ! sorry the fic is a little late this week again 😓, the title and summary is so dramatic given the fic LMAOAOSKSMJSND but anyways !!! this was based on @sacharinee’s grocery shopping headcanons ! please read m’s works, they’re all amazing :) <3 💞

y’know, grocery shopping can be pretty fun if you don’t just sigh and mope around.” you grin. peter on the other hand, had a pout on his face. he was avoiding you whilst making sure he was never further than three feet away.

“you didn’t let me get the chocolate covered wafers,” he mumbles, looking down. you couldn’t help but giggle at your lover’s antics. he’s been like this on the car ride to the grocery store and its only gotten worse once you arrived.

“we’re only here to buy our meals for the week, and you promised, no unnecessary purchases,” you called back to the promise he made before leaving. grocery shopping with peter was almost like babysitting a full grown adult, and you didn’t know if you were up for that today.

but alas, here you were.

“this is necessary! i’m starving,” he groans but he quickly follows it up with, “you’d let me get them if you love me.” a smile was slowly creeping up on his face.

you give him a soft peck on the lips (one gladly accepts), before saying, “i love youuu!” peter grins hopefully after hearing that. “but we are not getting those wafers,” you say, continuing your round throughout the grocery store, peter trailing behind you.

despite peter’s growing hanger, he manages to make himself helpful by grabbing heavy batches of items, placing them into your cart. you send him a smile of approval which makes peter all giddy and proud, suddenly, he’s in a pretty good mood.

his mood only improved once he saw samples, all laid out neatly on a nearby stall. he quickly glances at you to take note of where you are, and he’s off taking multiple samples of the same food so he can share some with you.

but as soon as he comes back to the bread and pastry section, you’re nowhere to be found.

at first, he isn’t too worried about it, he’s certain that you’d come back for him anytime now.

anytime now…

the panic really starts to settle in once thirty minutes have passed, he was starting to get looks, he’d been standing there alone, samples in one hand, phone in the other.

he’d tried calling, unfortunately for him, your phone was on silent.

he couldn’t wait any longer, at some point, he begun showing anyone he could see a photo of you, asking if they’d seen you anywhere. when he realizes no one’s seen you, the panic fully sinks in.

but really, you were lined up by the cashier, you hadn’t noticed when peter had left your side, but you thought it would be safe to assume that he was okay, probably looking for more samples.

unbeknownst to you, he was far from okay.

he paced back and forth in the dairy aisle, mumbling, running his hands through his hair, thinking of every possible outcome of you being separated.

“baby?” and when his head turns towards you, you could’ve sworn you saw tears beginning to form.

next thing you know, his arms are tightly wrapped around your waist and he’s peppering soft kisses on your shoulder.

“what’s wrong?” truthfully, you were starting to worry.

“i turned around and you were just— gone.” that’s when you broke, you couldn’t hold it in anymore, you burst into laughter.

“you, peter parker, are an idiot.” you say, a fond smile on your face, one he couldn’t help but mirror, “and, i hope these will make you feel better.”

you pull something out of your grocery bag, low and behold… “the chocolate covered wafers!”

taglist : (send me an ask/dm to be added !) @live-laugh-lovejoy @tomsholland2412 @parkerpeter24 @herpeanutzombie

a/n : tysm for reading :) pls reblog to support your writers !!! requests are open !

[oleandequill]

Did I Ever Really Know You? (SG TFOne Fanfic) - Chapter 2

It was supposed to be a one-shot, but alas... skskks

Okay but I decided to make more because I realized that chapter 1 was like the first stage of grief (denial). So now, we have the second stage: anger.

So yeah, this is a continuation of a previous fic I posted, there will be a link to it here (though you could also just read the fic on Ao3 as well).

prev | next

The remains of Sentinel had been reduced to nothing but scrap in Sub-Level 50. Optimus Prime had ensured it himself. While he would have preferred a reminder of everything the mech had done to them, just the sight of that grisly frame sent a spark of anger through his processor that if he wanted to be a good ruler for Iacon, then he would have to erase anything that could trigger such a violent reaction. After all, despite the burning rage inside him, he wouldn’t hurt his new citizens. They had been so loyal to him, why needlessly punish them?

Bee had been ecstatic when Optimus had granted him the honors. It was the second time the mech had shown such joy. The first had been when Sentinel had died. In truth, Optimus didn’t really care who would melt down Sentinel’s frame but Bee had been so eager that he decided to reward him. Bee had been loyal to him. He had stayed and done what Optimus had asked. None of that arguing or fighting that some of the other mechs had done. Of course, Optimus had subdued the protestors and ensured they could never go against his orders again.

If Dee had stayed, Optimus would have granted him that honor. After all, what better gift to give to his future conjunx than the opportunity to kill his torturer? Dee should have been happy. He should have been as happy as Bee when Sentinel died. The energon in his cables boiled as he remembered the last time he’d seen Dee. There was another reason Optimus had wanted Sentinel reduced to scrap. Remembering Dee take that mech’s arm for himself, using it to attack him, was enough to send him into a rage. Good. He would need that anger soon enough.

With energon restored to Cybertron, there was no longer any need for the mines to remain. Optimus had personally ensured that detonation would occur once he’d given his official word. To think that in another world he and Dee would have stayed down there until they died, probably to some mining accident. An insignificant death. He had snuck down, unable to recharge as memories of Dee haunted him. He needed one last moment, one last look at the place where he and Dee had first met. It would be the last time any mech would step pede in this darkness.

Optimus wouldn’t go deep into the mines, he only had one place he needed to see. Soon enough, he was standing by a familiar berth. His digits traced the scribbles on it, remnants of Dee’s thoughts etched onto the metal. Despite himself, a smile played on his dermas as he remembered the countless times he would find Dee standing by his berth, no doubt writing down whatever mathematical formula or idea he had come up with. Yet with those memories came the debates they’d had. Optimus didn’t regret them one bit. He had only wanted what was best for Dee.

—

“Dreaming again?” He leaned against the berth, examining his fellow miners in recharge. It was still dark outside, but Pax was used to onlining early. While he usually chose to enter the archives at any convenient time, he found that it was easier to sneak in when most mechs were still in their berths. After he would usually return to the miners’ quarters and sit at the roof, processing the information, but he had run into an online Dee the moment he had gotten back. The mech was scribbling notes, and Pax never wasted an opportunity to talk to Dee.

“Pax!” Dee had quickly covered his intake with a servo, unwilling to accidentally disturb the other miners from their recharge. Pax rolled his optics. Always so considerate of other mechs. He leaned closer, skimming through the new numbers and symbols that decorated Dee’s berth. He understood them, after all, Pax wasn’t stupid - but he didn’t particularly care about really processing them right now. “Did you go to the archives again? One of these days, you’ll get caught and demoted, Pax. You could have at least told me before you left. I know I’m good at thinking on the spot but—”

“I really don’t get you.” His vocalizer didn’t betray his feelings yet, but from the way Dee flinched, Pax knew the other mech could tell where this line of conversation was going. Honestly, he didn’t enjoy picking a fight with Dee. There were other mechs - like that pathetic Darkwing - that he enjoyed messing with. Dee was his best friend, and the most Pax usually ever did was tease the mech. But he was tired. He had just gotten back from a perilous journey to the archives, and here was Dee, indulging in his dreams underneath the safety veil of complacency.

“Pax…” Dee awkwardly gestured to the recharging mechs. It was a weak excuse to avoid the lecture. Right, that’s what it was. Pax never fought with Dee and he wasn’t picking a fight. Rolling his optics, Pax grabbed him by the arm before dragging him to the roof. Fine, he’ll spare Dee the embarrassment. Besides, Pax didn’t want to give the other mechs any ideas that they could lecture Dee. Only Pax was allowed to do that. Slamming the door shut behind them, Pax let Dee take a few steps back. “We’re miners, Pax. Our role is to mine energon—”

“Is that what you want forever, Dee?! To mine until we die in a mining accident?!” Pax kept moving closer, with Dee backing away until he had nowhere else to go. That close, Pax could see the way Dee’s blue optics widened. Not in fear. Dee only ever held concern for him. Pax raised a servo to his helm, his spark thrumming with indignation and pent-up hurt. “This can’t be my life forever, Dee. I deserve more than this. You deserve more than this. We can’t stay here in the darkness, Dee. I… I can’t live like this. I won’t.”

“Pax… It’s not forever. Think of how Sentinel Prime scours the surface for the Matrix of Leadership.” Dee had reached out, grabbing his servo in his. Pax’s gaze flickered back to his best friend. Those blue optics were always enough to calm him down… but then Dee just had to continue. “Sentinel Prime continues to sacrifice his safety each time he goes to the surface. We have to have hope that he’ll find the Matrix and restore energon to Cybertron. Until then, every mech has a role to play. Even if we are cogless, we have a duty to Iacon—”

“If you believe so much in duty, then why dream? Why hurt yourself like this, Dee? Why not resign yourself to being a miner if you truly believe that is our duty to Iacon?” Pax gripped Dee’s servo in his, not unkindly, but more so to cement himself. He knew his vocoder had turned cold, the anger ebbing into a chill that made the other mech in front of him shake. “Why delude yourself in this hope? Doesn’t it hurt, Dee? Why continue to dream and do nothing to achieve it? Aren’t you scared of dying before reaching your dream?”

Dee didn’t really have an answer. They stood there in silence until light began to fall on them. Down below, they both knew that the other miners were beginning to online from their recharge. No one would care to notice that they were missing. So, Pax stayed there, holding onto Dee’s servo. He wasn’t sure when, but at some point, he had begun to actually care for the other mech. When they had first met, Pax had only spoken to him because Dee had amused him. Now… Pax couldn’t quite understand why his spark ached for Dee and his dreams.

“I don’t know. I can’t do what you do. You… you’re reckless. You don’t consider the consequences. Maybe Primus loves you so much that you continue to get away with it. I’m not you, Pax. I can’t sneak into the archives, and I don’t want to. I… can only dream.” Dee pulled his servo away, placing it awkwardly against his shoulder pad before walking past him. Pax remained where he was, watching the back of Dee’s frame as he headed back - towards their quarters to prepare for another rotational period in the cold dark. “Come on, we can’t be late.”

Then Pax was alone, the light nearly blinding his optics as he looked up at the sky. Ever since he’d first gone online, Pax had known there was more to him. Even after he had been designated as a miner and understood that he was cogless, he knew he’d have to prove to every mech that he was so much more. He had only cared about reaching his own dreams. To pit with everyone else. Now… He stared back to where Dee had left.

Why did he feel the need to make sure Dee would achieve his own dreams too?

—

Optimus was broken out of the memory at the sound of metal crunching. He looked up, realizing that while he had been distracted, he had grabbed the berth and was now in the processing of crushing it. He had already left quite the dent. Even though he had come back to his senses, his processor kept rewinding that scene of Dee walking away from him, resigning himself to another rotational period in the mines - leaving Optimus alone to stare at the surface sky. They had risen up to the surface together… Now here he was in the mines, completely alone.

The axe sunk into the berth, sparks flying past as he started striking at the metal. What did it matter? With just one word, this entire place would be gone. What difference did it make that this berth would be destroyed by him personally? He kept striking, feeling the heat of the sparks against him. He needed it all gone. He needed those scribbles - useless numbers and formulas from a mech who would never dare to actually use them - gone. No. Erased. No other mech should ever get to see them. They will die in the dark. Where they belonged.

Soon, the axe wasn’t enough. His servos began to smash against the berth, energon leaking past his damaged digits as he struck again and again. Optimus didn’t know how long he had spent doing it, but by the time he had come back to his senses, he could hardly recognize the berth before him. The scribbles were gone, crushed into nothing.

He felt himself kneel to the ground, venting hard as the gravity of what he’d done overcame him. It was stupid. The berth would have been destroyed in the detonation of the mines, but somehow he felt foolish having destroyed it himself.

But he was no fool. He knew it wasn’t the berth or the scribbles that were tearing at his spark. It was Dee, and how Optimus had let him go.

He had only wanted to kill Sentinel and any mech who still followed that deceiver.

Dee had jumped in the way.

For all their differences. Even after Optimus had let his rage consume him the moment he had found out Sentinel’s deception, he had never thought of harming Dee.

The broken arm in his new quarters said otherwise. Optimus could hardly stand to look at it. He kept it still since it was the only remembrance he had of Dee.

They were supposed to build the future together.

As much as he loathed it, Optimus hoped that Dee was still doing his silly equations up on the surface.

Now they were both free to achieve their dreams.

Optimus had yet to fulfill his. It was an honor to be a Prime, but he was so alone…

“You belong by my side, Dee.” He murmured, his red optics shining in the dark. “I’ll drill it into your processor until you realize you belong nowhere else but with me.”

[putschki1969]

🇹🇭YKL vol.#20 ～Asia Tour 20th Special SETLIST～　【Bangkok】 Live Report🇹🇭

Wow, what a week it has been. My Thailand trip was an exciting but very exhausting experience. I'm finally back home and after spending an entire day just relaxing on Tuesday, I feel somewhat ready to tackle this live report. I'm back to work and there's a lot to do but I still want to post as much as possible before I lose all of my motivation. Still took me several days to finish this so I am sorry for the delay🙏 I'll start with some general stuff from the day of the live and then continue with a detailed report. Without further ado, let's get to it〈(•��‿ˇ•)-→

Before The Live

The concert was held on November 15th at Bangkok Union Hall. At that point I had already been in Thailand for two and a half days doing all sorts of Kalafina and touristy stuff. Needless to say, I was quite exhausted from my previous activities (more on that in a future post) but I was determined to enjoy the day to the fullest. The only major thing planned for that day was a meet-up with some fellow fans to get lunch and dinner so thankfully, nothing too strenuous. Although one could argue that social interactions like this are always a big struggle for me :P Anyway, I headed to the venue quite early in the morning to meet my friends. We were doing some last-minute shopping at a nearby mall to complete the presents for Keiko and Hikaru. Also, we wanted to check out our flower stand which had been put up earlier that morning. I was beyond happy to participate in this particular flower stand project. The HiKei chibis turned out super cute and the banner was also adorable (just look at little Moo Deng🦛). I'm a little bummed though that I didn't get to take the cardboard print home with me since the girls requested the flower stand to be brought to their dressing room after the live (initially, we had planned to take all the decorative stuff off the flower stand after the concert before the flower shop picked it up but alas, it wasn't meant to be). Oh well, we got all those sweet pics with Keiko and Hikaru so that pretty much erased any feelings of disappointment. Thankfully, I got my acrylic key-holders and stickers as a little consolation. I will certainly treasure them forever. During the meet-up with some fellow fans, I also got a bunch of presents, including some gorgeous fan-made articles for the two lives in China. Honestly, I feel so blessed to have received all of this. Thank you so much to everyone who thought of me!

Speaking of fellow fans, I appreciated everyone who came up to me to say "hi". I was also very happy about all the yummy souvenirs. The suncakes from Taiwan saved my life during the following days because I always had a lovely snack to accompany my morning coffee. Sorry if I came across as awkward or reserved to some of you, I am not used to being in big crowds like that and meeting strangers is not among my strengths. Also wish I had gotten more commemorative pics with everyone but oh well, in the heat of the moment it's easy to forget about stuff like that.

For lunch we had planned to go to a Hainanese Chicken place but unfortunately, they didn't have enough room for our group so we ended up going to KFC XD. I forgot to take pictures but our order was honestly not that exciting anyway. I was so eager to try spicy food during my stay in Bangkok but that stuff at KFC was a total let-down (probably our fault though for not looking properly at the menu - they may have had some spicier stuff that we just didn't see). Dinner that day more than made up for it though since my main dish was incredibly delicious. Don't ask me what it was called, it was some sort of fried pork concoction with garlic and chili, simply fabulous and probably one of the best things I had during that trip.

Despite having a lot of fun during these activities, I kinda regret not being able to see anything of the Loy Krathong festivities that day. The weird timing of the concert would have made it very inconvenient to check out any of the festival sites and on top of that there were some bad weather forecasts so no one wanted to risk getting wet😢 It's a real shame but oh well, I guess the live was worth it.

♪The Live♪

Seat

I was very lucky to have dedicated friends who made sure I'd get a VIP front-row seat right across from Keiko's spot on the stage [the picture below was taken at the end of the concert when I was already walking outside so it doesn't properly reflect my point of view - I was seated a little more to the right side]. She was pretty much right in front of me during the entire live so of course, I was in heaven. Taking my eyes off her was a real challenge and at times I honestly felt a little bad for the other singers because I didn't really pay that much attention to them whenever Keiko was on stage. Also, this might make me sound like a perv but I was absolutely mesmerised by Keiko's legs. During her main solo parts she would always turn to the side or turn her back to the audience. Not sure why (maybe because so the audience would focus on her singing rather than her gorgeous face? Or she was a little self-conscious? Who knows). Either way, during these parts her legs were on full display and since her skirt was quite short on one side, you could basically get a glimpse of her tiny safety shorts with every tiny move she made 🫣

One tiny complaint I had was that the stage was quite far away from the audience area and they even felt the need to put up a relatively high metal barrier which created a weird sense of distance despite being all the way up in the front. Nevertheless, the concert felt very intimate to me and I think for that reason, I enjoyed it much more than my past Yuki Kajiura live experiences. I also gained a new appreciation for certain songs that I previously didn't care for all that much. I honestly can't stress this enough, experiencing a concert like this in such an intimate manner is vastly superior to watching a DVD/BD/live stream or even attending it in a spot somewhere further away from the stage. Everything feels and sounds completely different. Your entire body is getting caught in this spectacle and you get a full-on adrenaline rush. It's during these moments when I barely notice any flaws or mishaps. I've been made fun of in the past for always writing these overly positive and raving reviews of concerts but I personally don't even notice half of the bad stuff when I am on such a high. Plus, I don't enjoy lingering on the negative stuff which is why you won't see much of that in any of my reports.

Venue

To be fair, it wasn't a particularly good concert hall, at least in my opinion. The venue was a lot smaller than expected and it felt more like a convention hall rather than a proper concert hall. There are much better venues available in Bangkok but they were probably already booked or too expensive. Also, from what I've heard, the concert tickets didn't sell that well so it was probably a good thing that they stuck with this sort of venue. At any rate, it was very conveniently located at a MRT/BTS station so yay for that. The acoustics were decent enough I guess but nothing to write home about. The sound system could have used some improvements though, I don't think the instruments and vocals were very well-balanced throughout most of the concert. But maybe that could be chalked up to my position in the audience. Just a little disclaimer here, I am not very tech-savvy in that regard but on more than one occasion I noticed that the sound was kinda off...Mind you, not to an extent that would have taken away from my overall enjoyment of the concert but enough for me to notice it several times.

Setlist:

the world: Will always prefer Keiko on main but it is what it is, Joelle on main is fine too. It's a good song so it's a treat to hear it live no matter who is leading. The harmonies at the end didn't quite work for me. Was a bit all over the place. I think the sound system was at fault here.

in the land of twilight, under the moon: Not usually one of my faves but I thoroughly enjoyed this rendition.

vanity: What a blessing to hear this live in concert again! My first time was in Taiwan and I don't think I ever recovered from it. Correct me if I am wrong though but they made a big change during the performance regarding Keiko's epic yayayay part. She flawlessly did her solo of course but then when Joelle starting to sing that final chorus, she didn't continue to sing in the background which she would usually do. I found that very unusual. Also checked the bootleg recordings from the live in China and she did the same thing there too. Huh...Since when did they change it? That was a bit of a bummer to be honest since the very final part felt less epic because of it.

My long forgotten cloistered sleep: So, so good!! Huge fan! Joelle is getting better at it too so I am enjoying her version more and more.

I swear: Wow, what a revelation! I did not expect to suddenly fall in love with this song. I am obviously a huge Keiko-stan but due to her using her cutesy voice in this, it's never really appealed to me. It's always been one of those songs that I preferred to skip during re-watches of home video releases because it didn't really do anything for me. This time though, it felt like Keiko was serenading me specifically (a delusion on my part of course but let me have that little fangirl moment XD). Anyway, this is what I meant earlier. All of a sudden, a song has a new meaning to you and it's only because you get to experience it on such a personal level. The lyrics couldn't be more appropriate: "♪I know, I’m in love♪"

fiction: Not my cup of tea so I tend to skip this but Joelle in particular always does a great job with this song. Her voice is a perfect fit. Definitely my favourite performance so far because I was more into it than usual.

I reach for the sun: Love, love, love.

in the garden of sinners: Damn it, this one hurt so much, I literally almost cried. I don't even really know why but I could barely handle it. All I wanted to hear was Wakana together with Keiko and honestly, it was her voice in my mind, Joelle didn't exist for me in those moments. No matter what happens, I will always associate these melodies with Wakana and Keiko. On one hand, this performance made me incredibly sad but on the other hand, it made me feel even more grateful about the upcoming Kalafina Anniversary Live. Just the thought of hearing the three of them together again is bringing tears to my eyes.

ARIA: What a shame. I knew what to expect of course but it still hurt to hear Joelle sing the chorus. Unlike others, I didn't think that Hikaru sounded all that bad so she could have definitely handled the chorus (especially being backed by Keiko). She might not have sounded her best but who cares?! This is HER song so she should be in the lead. Period. I remember someone saying that Yuki wanted to go back to the original key (more of a speculation, as far as I know, it's not actually confirmed) so she gave the chorus to Joelle but Joelle was kinda struggling with it too so ultimately, we didn't really gain anything from having her in the lead. On a side note, I am just so relieved that Keiko and Joelle didn't do the infamous arm gesture that Wakana and Keiko used to do all the time. All of this sounds rather negative but to be honest, I still liked the performance despite being a little disappointed with the vocal arrangement. it's one of my all-time favourite Kala-songs so it's always a pleasure to hear it.

Magia: By now I am used to the FictionJunction cover version of this and it's really quite good. Solid performance. No notes.

Kimi no Gin no Niwa: Again, good stuff but since I don't particularly like the song it was just okay to me.

ring your bell: Ugghhh, probably my least favourite performance of the night. It's such a difficult song to perform and I honestly don't even like most of Kalafina's live versions but this one was hard to get through. Maybe the sound system was to blame a bit because LINO LEIA's microphone did some weird stuff that made her singing sound worse than it probably was. Plus, I honestly don't think she is a very good fit for the song. Hell, not even Wakana is a good fit for the song 90% of the time. For some reason, LINO LEIA kept using her more generic singing voice when instead, she should've opted for a more controlled head voice. Towards the end we heard a more solid delivery but the rest was unfortunately a bit messy.

to the beginning: Okay I guess. It's certainly one of the better Kalafina covers they do at YKL because Joelle and Yuriko add a lot of dimension. And since I have never been a fan of the song to begin with, it's not like I am missing Wakana too much.

Yasashii Yoake: The See-Saw section of the live was so much more fun than I had expected. Actually really surprised how much I enjoyed it since I am not too familiar with Yuki's old work and don't usually listen to any of it. Also, with Keiko not playing a big role in this corner, I thought I wouldn't be into it. But I guess the songs are just really good with catchy melodies so I couldn't help but like them. Also, my proximity to the stage once again helped me to have a bit more appreciation for the music. All three songs were featured at Kaji Fes. but I don't recall them leaving a huge impression on me. Back then I didn't mind them but I didn't get too excited. This time, I was having a great time from the get-go. Love the Joelle/Yuriko duo here. Joelle's voice works super well for this type of song.

Obsession: I remember not being particularly impressed by the Kaji Fes. performance but the Bangkok version was so cool. LINO LEIA and Keiko did a great job. So cool!! After that rather mediocre "ring your bell" performance, it was nice to hear LINO LEIA sing in a more comfortable range.

Senya Ichiya: Starting to love rito's vocals more and more. She's so criminally underused during these lives. Despite being promoted to "regular" singer, she really doesn't get to do much.

the main theme of “L.O.R.D”: One of my all-time faves. Joelle's best song if you ask me. Will never get tired of hearing it. Although I feel like at this point Joelle had already run out of steam a little because the performance didn't quite hit the spot in terms of oomph-factor. I think it's because Joelle had to carry 90% of the show and was thus running on low-heat towards the end. Still had a blast!

absolute configuration: Love having all the girls on stage for these sort of epic battle songs. Gorgeous harmonies.

luminous sword: Same as above. Perfect transition and a lovely continuation of the epicness.

蒼穹のファンファーレ: Typically not one of my favourite songs but yet again, I found myself enjoying it more than I usually would. The heat on stage was contagious so I simply got swept away in the excitement.

En. the image theme of Xenosaga II: Don't remember much of this but it was nice.

En.nowhere: Wow, wow, wow! What an amazing performance. So much more energised than during the Kaji Fes concert. Definitely one of the songs where I very much appreciated my closeness to the stage. I could really feel the heat and had such a blast, especially when Keiko began to really interact with the audience. Almost made me want to stand up but in the end, I remained seated (really not the type to move a lot during a concert). I have to agree with everyone who has already shared their thoughts on the other Asia live performances, this was definitely one of the highlights for Hikaru as far as her vocal delivery was concerned. Her voice was very powerful here.

En.into the world: I love that this has become almost a staple of YKL. It's such a gorgeous song with a beautiful message and I think Joelle as well as Yuriko manage to improve the overall harmonies with their added vocals.

[vanillavengeance]

i totally keep forgetting to ask everytime I reread mm and you might have said this already, but is the implication that leo donnie and raph killed the foot clan dudes? i really wouldn't put it past them

Not killed them in the moment, but…

They should have gone further. Left the state, even.

The Lieutenant and Brute screams turn more shrill, bruises and gashes stinging in the high winds. The harsh metal cables bite into where they’re wrapped, pulled tight by the snarling Red Turtle around their bodies. Neither could move even if they wanted to.

An edge of a building clips Brute’s leg and lets off a sharp ‘snap’. His scream curdles into whimpers but the purple drone doesn’t slow or go higher.

“This is your fault, you imbecile!” Lieutenant shouts over the wind, frantic. Brute whimpers and gives tiny, repeated nods.

Lieutenant’s not dumb, unlike his unfortunate companion. He should have insisted they get to the other side of the country.

Not that it would have helped if they ever found out. The Blue Turtle has those portals that make everything an irritating challenge.

They just barely squirm away from a different ledge, unable to see through the wetness gathered in their eyes. The sounds of New York blue around them and with how fast and haphazardly the drone is flying, Lieutenant wouldn’t be surprised if this is their third lap around the city.

Flying until their fingers are numb and their screams turn silent, Lieutenant has hope that it might be over. The drone slows as it flies over one of the waterways and he has the desperate thought that if they do meet their end here, at least it’ll have a good view of the city.

Alas, the Purple Turtles drone has other plans. Swooping low, it glides to a complete stop underneath the Brooklyn Bridge. Lieutenant blinks at the gentle sway and leans into the silent, limp form tied to his back. Brute had gone silent after his broken leg was once again smashed into a gargoyle, leaving him to figure out if they would be surviving this mess.

It’s always the youngest that’s the most protected. They should have known better after the Kraang to not mess with the Turtles, especially the Orange one.

They’re jostled into place suspended by a support beam and the little drone comes down to hover in front of Lieutenant. Using what little energy he has for a snarl, he stares down the steadily blinking red light. The robot lets out a tiny beep and then Lieutenant is blinded, eyes burning and wrenching a new scream from his throat. He can barely breath through the pepper spray overwhelming his senses.

Through his gasps of pain the drone beeps once more before it buzzes off. Lieutenant merely breathes through the stinging off his eyes and face, wondering if they’ll be noticed before he goes blind.

If this was it, Lieutenant has only one regret.

Why must he die trussed up like a turkey with the man who ensured their demise?

————————————————————————

“I’m just saying they’re probably going to be crawling back. If you had just let me deploy my prototype—“

“We ain’t killing people, Donnie. Not when I’m here. I could care less what ‘ya do in your free time.”

“I don’t know, I think Dontron might be on to something. They were still screaming when they flew off. Could have done with a few more slashes in the squishier areas.”

“I’ll say it again since it hasn’t gotten through your heads; I don’t care what ‘ya do in your free time.”

“Oh ho ho~, I read you loud and clear, big daddy.”

“Affirmative, objective has been made crystal.”

“After we get Mikey back, though, yeah?”

“Uh, duh.” “Agreed.”

————————————————————————

I wrote this off the fly so excuse any errors, but here ya go :D

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

I got caught shoplifting a few weeks ago so Im gonna have a court proceeding (? if thats what you call it in english idk) in a couple hours and Im a little bit nervous but the shit I stole was only worth 7€ and it was my first time getting caught so I dont think it'll be too big of a deal. Honestly Im just glad I didnt get caught while I was stealing ~85€ worth of acotar books, because my punishment would not only be wayyyy harsher it would also just be embarrassing, imagine stealing sjm books when theres so many good books you could steal from a bookstore

Anyway, speaking of acotar books, its livebloggin time. Last time, Feyre and Rhysand came to this cabin in the woods/inn in the middle of nowhere and stayed in a room thats so small that you couldnt even have sex in it and then they had sex. not penetrative sex, they just fingered each other. Which is to say Rhysand fingered her vagina and Feyre fingered his wings because god forbid a man be on the receiving end for anything other than a blowjob. Also, I guess Mor, Cassian and Azriel are somewhere else? I didnt wanna say anything about them being gone bc I just kinda assumed they were staying with Feysand but they seem to be gone. whatever I dont care about those guys anyway

Chapter 49

Feyres internal declarations of love and wanting to be with Rhys forever feel very shallow when you consider the fact that 1) theyve only had like 3 months worth of non-traumatic interactions with eachother, and 2) she thought the exact same way about Tamlin and then she DIED FOR HIM and then she left him after barely half a year

'"You know exactly that I would do anything for my people and my family."' 'Your people' consisting of one (1) city

Feyre's pussy feels slightly raw from getting fingered hours ago?? thats not a good sign.

'"I'm not gonna turn away from you. Not from you," I promised him quietly.' honestly, i can believe that, if you can fully forgive someone for physically torturing and sexually assaulting you after like a month or two you can forgive them anything, I have no idea why Rhys would be worried about that

can you imagine if Rhysand got shot with poisoned arrows and he just died right here. Life could be a dream but alas, I live in a nightmare world

I actually really like Feyre going feral over her love interest like this (even if that love interest is Rhys) I dont we're gonna get much more of that in this series so I shall savour it

Yeah, now that she mentions it, how come one ash arrow was enough to straight up kill Andras but Rhysand gets hit by like a dozen and hes just fine after this. I guess it could be that Feyre shot Andras in the eye so it was more lethal than Rhys getting shot in the back and wings but still, afaik there are no longterm consequences from this, like hes not even gonna have to deal with idk, his back hurting at certain points or something

Im not a fan of Feyre being so murderhappy now when she was reluctant to even kill animals at the start of this book, like at a certain point Im not so much bothered by Feyre's character being retconned from ACOTAR but her character from start of ACOMAF

Damn I didnt think the sex would be anything other than a pointless diversion, but here it is, being plot relevant

How come these guys have been torturing him by just stringing him up and leaving the arrows while they whip him, if I was an evil torturer and had just gotten my hands on a guy with wings Im sawing those badboys off immediately. or should i say batboys ahahahha.hahha

Oh, just a splinter of ashwood can he deadly but of course Rhysand is gonna be pretty much fine after being impaled with seven whole arrows

'"And Elain would love [Velaris], I'm sure of it. Although she would probably cling to Azriel the whole time, looking for safety."' smth about that line feels icky to me, I think its the fact that I dont think Elain actually properly interacted with Azriel at this point and also, Velaris is a perfect paradisical city what on earth would she need his protection for there

ughhhh all this bullshit with the dresser is so unbearably annoying

I guess I'll see how this all actually pans out next chapter, but right now I gotta say I dont like the fact that Rhysand's wounds just heal on their own, I couldve used some good whump with him. And Im not just saying that because I dont like him and Im a sadistic little bitch, even though both of those things are true, Im saying this because I think seeing him in a vulnerable position for an extended time would make me like him more

[berestweys]

just finished watching jaesu's JX Identity 20th Anniversary concert (day 3), and am deeply in my feels as we used to say.

i got almost all the things i was hoping for with this show:

full versions of old db5k standards: AND HOW. i did not anticipate that the bulk of the concert would be old songs! what a gift. they killed it. (jae stomping around with all the choreography is simply the delight of my year. my little dance machine, he didn't fall down once!!! thank you junsu for making him do it!)

they sang so many of the old songs it was really stunning actually. opening with rising sun? hug AND balloons??? is purple line a noisy monstrosity of a song? yes. do i love it with every fiber of my being? also yes. did i get emotional watching jaejoong and junsu sing it as a duet in 2024??? GUESS.

and don't even get me started on the ballads. they were many and i was overwhelmed. proud, stand by u, and i believe. begin, why did i fall in love with you, & whatever they say. love in the ice of course. the list goes on.

no, it is not the same as listening to the original db5k versions. but i tell you what. jj & su take their versions just as far as two voices possibly could, and if i hadn't already been unwell for years about the five-part ballads i would not have noticed anything missing. they're that good at their craft. they are SINGERS.

i know it's become a tired refrain, but with my whole chest: fuck sm for silencing them for so many years. we should have had this all along.

jyj songs reworked as duets: only got one? but it's not nothing. empty sure was a choice though. i was hoping for in heaven, so so, or creation, but i'll take what i can get. (for real jx should re-record the entirety of Just Us (minus back seat, thirty, and dad you there) for my happiness and well being.)

tarantallegra or oeo: junsu did not leave me hanging and i got tarantallegra! probably in my top 5 kpop choreos, though i have not sat down and really thought about it to rank them.

both of them showcasing their solo work: they haven't gotten to sing their own songs at the same concert in so long. it was wonderful. wish junsu had sung some of his more recent songs like hana, and wish jae had given us at least one of his older rock songs instead of keeping to the most recent album. but these are quibbles and i loved all the songs they did choose.

crybabies: mixed results. ok this one came as a bit of a shock because jae lost it but junsu didn't? i would have predicted the opposite. jae is not actually much of a crier, but when he cries he CRIES. this was one of those times and honestly thank goodness su kept himself together because jaejoong needed to be shuffled around the stage with someone else's steady hand in support. he was just gone. bless.

things i wanted but did not get:

a new single prepared for the concert: i just want so much more duo music from them after the treat that was 六等星 in 2022. i want an album!!!

intoxication as a slutty duet: i knew it was a long shot. but i wanted it very badly, on behalf of 2012 jamie who was about 75% more unhinged than 2024 jamie pretends not to be.

incredible as a goofy happy good time duet: what can i say, i really want to see jaejoong blundering his awkward baby horse limbs through that choreo. i really thought i might get this one! alas.

any of either of their solo power ballads as a duet: this is the only thing i'm kinda disappointed about. imagine if they'd sung flower or breathing in love or all that glitters or, god, life support together??? i guess it's best they didn't because i would be dead right now.

it was a great concert, 3 hours well spent. feeling like my old school fangirl self right now, very nostalgic. i do love them.

*

[thehollowwriter]

Summary: Ace does that thing where he correctly yells everything someone did wrong at them, except this time that someone is Finn and Ace is, in fact, incorrect (there may be some oocness I hope not)

(Pls reblog and leave a comment ❤

Hold Your Tongue

Ace Trappola was Finn Clearcove's favourite underclassman.

Not because he liked him, no that achievement belonged to Chrysos Pendentif, but because he was so ridiculously amusing.

Stubborn, brash and egotistical, he was prime entertainment no matter what he did.

It was fun to watch him behave with such confidence despite being an anenome, grinning or smirking as he waited tables or worked the bar like he'd been doing it all his life.

But behind that incredibly fragile facade cowered a frightened little human teetering on the edge of a complete breakdown.

There were moments where the mask cracked, where a customer would irritate him and his face would twist into a scowl. Moments where he froze up and trembled when he felt Finn's eyes on him. Moments when the twins leered over him and he looked to be seconds away from screaming.

Tonight was one of those times where Ace's facade was threatening to fracture.

It was a slow sleepy night. Customers filtered in and out, filling the air with a soft murmur of tired chatter and only occupying a few tables. It was always like this near the end of the term.

Ace was clearly annoyed at having to be here when it was so empty, probably wishing he was back at his dorm right now.

His face twitched, his large fake customer service smile fraying at the edges as he spoke to his table through tightly clenched teeth.

He was trying so hard to be respectful, poor thing. Finn almost hoped he would snap so he could drink in the chaos that was bound to follow. It would lift him from his bad mood.

Alas, Ace was well behaved for once, and Finn knew it was for a reason. The same reason as always.

When Ace's breaktime came around, Finn sighed, made himself a drink, crossed one leg over the other and waited.

Finn watched as Ace predictably made a beeline towards him with an intense look of determination, leaving Deuce and Grim behind to roll their eyes and watch as he plastered a smile to his face.

God, Finn was running low on patience today. He didn't have the energy to deal with Ace now.

Whenever Ace was on his best behaviour, it inevitably led to him drifting to Finn in some way or another and attempting use him as some sort of... mole? Traitor? Ally?

The boy seemed to be under the impression that Finn was harbouring some kind of hidden resentment towards Azul and the twins that was just waiting to be revealed.

He often implied that Finn was being taken advantage of, mentioning all those times he's been in Azul's office for example.

Every time, Finn had to fight the urge to say "Actually, I'm not working, I'm spending my time kissing Azul breathless" just to see the look of horror on Ace's face.

Ace also tried going out of his way to impress Finn and garner his favour by doing whatever he asked, much to the dismay of his friends.

Why Ace did this in spite of the scare the scare he had during their first encounter, Finn had no idea.

"Hello Finn-senpai!" He greeted cheerily. "How are you this evening?"

"Tired." Finn responded flatly.

"Aw that sucks." Said Ace, voice dripping with fake sympathy. "Y'know I always say you work too hard. Do you ever get a break, really? You're never not working."

Finn took a long sip of his drink and and bit back a laugh. "I appreciate your concern, but I do get my fair share of free time"

Ace's smiled tightened and his eyes twitched.

"Do you, though?" His voice was straining with frustration. "Every time I see you you're working, and every time I ask about you I'm told you're at your club or doing a practical or studying or whatever. Look, I know you've gotten used to being treated like garbage but-"

"Treated like garbage?" Finn questioned, surprised. That was a new way of putting it. "I don't think-"

"Oh for the Queen's sake-" Ace slammed his hands down on the table with a "thwack", causing Finn to jump back in surprise.

"Yes you're treated like garbage!" He shouted. "No free time, no chance to rest! You're just constantly working your ass off! You're always called to the VIP room, in fact you're called there more than any other staff member! And you stay in there for hours!"

"That greedy prick is stealing precious time from you! The twins are almost worse! They're always grabbing at you and pulling you around like a ragdoll! How do you not notice how physical they are with you? It's gross!"

Finn blinked at Ace and bit his lip to hold back a snort. This was that prime entertainment he was waiting for. Ace had some very funny thought patterns.

Yet, even as Finn was visibly half smiling, sipping his drink, and customers and staff alike were turning to stare, Ace continued.

"Your boss is a scummy asshole! He's just using you! You think you matter more to him just because you're not an anenome? You don't!"

Finn let go of the straw. A frown settled onto his face and his eyes narrowed. "Mister Trappola-"

"Damn it, can't you see? You're just letting him use you like he's using the rest of us! He's not kind or benevolent, Finn-senpai, he's a monster! A greedy, selfish monster!"

Any mirth Finn felt toward this little explosion made itself scarce and white hot anger flooded his veins like fiery lava.

"Mister Trappola-" He went to repeat, but Ace cut him off.

"It's the truth! You need to grow a spine, because the twins don't treat you any better! There's no equal ground, they're sickos who treat you like a chewtoy! They-"

Finn lunged forward and grabbed Ace by the throat, pulling him down hard so they were eye to eye, faces inches apart.

"Mister Trappola, I will warn you only once," Finn spoke even softer than usual, his voice quivering slightly. "If you don't shut your mouth I swear to the Sea Witch I will make you wish Azul punished you instead."

All the passion fuelling Ace's liveliness vanished in an instant, draining from his face until he was white as a sheet.

"I- I-"

"You should thank the stars right now we are on land an not below the surface, otherwise I would be tearing your tongue from your mouth." Finn dug his fingers into Ace's Adam's apple, wishing beyond anything he had his claws and not these useless short nails.

"I will not tolerate you insulting my-" The word 'boyfriends' lingered on the tip of his tongue. "-business partners and spewing nonsense about things you don't understand. Do you truly take me for a fool who does whatever Azul tells me to without demanding payment?"

Ace stammered and shook his head wildly, muttering apologies and mumbling some excuse or other.

Seven why couldn't he just bite his face? Why did land have so many rules against violence?

"Oi, the hell's going on here?"

If Ace went any paler, surely he would faint. In fact, he looked to be on the verge of doing so when he turned his head to see Floyd and Jade Leech standing side by side, staring at him.

"Is Crabby botherin' ya, Finn?"

Every single time Ace prodded at Finn for a favour, Floyd came over and asked this question. Every single time, Finn told him no and shooed him away. This time however, the shark slowly nodded

"Y-Yes. Yes he is."

"My my, how rude of you, Ace-san." Jade purred snatching the anenome on Ace's head and yanking it.

"Harassing our dear Finn and insulting us and Azul at the same time? I'll see to it that your dorm leader is informed and you are given a suitable punishment. Do you have anything in mind, Finn?"

Finn shook his head. What he had in mind would end poorly for them all.

"Alright, then. Azul shall decide." Jade pulled at the anenome again and Ace shrieked in pain, clawing at Jade's hand in a desperate attempt to get away as he was dragged to the VIP room.

Finn watched them go, his face bright red. Blood rushed I his ears, he panted heavily, his hands wouldn't stop shaking, his stomach churned.

People insulted his partners all the time. This sort of thought process wasn't anything new. Same old same old.

So why was he so angry?

Why did he feel so sick?

Finn's legs decided they didn't want to hold him up anymore and he collapsed against Floyd's side.

"Woah- shit, what's wrong?" Floyd grabbed him by the arms to steady him, his brow furrowed in concern. He watched as Finn opened and closed his mouth wordlessly, gripping Floyd's suit jacket tightly.

Floyd shifted his gaze to the door of the VIP room and a low growl rose from the back of his throat

"I'm gonna fucking kill him."

......................................

A/N: This was a short one, but I hope you all enjoyed Finn losing his temper a bit ehehe (and hopefully this wasn't too ooc).

Tagging: @distant-velleity @whspermy-name @the-banana-0verlord @officialdaydreamer00 @kitwasheree @cynthinesia @elysia-nsimp @twisted-wonderland-but-gayer @jovieinramshackle @casp1an-sea

NOTE: Chrysos belongs to @distant-velleity

[sable-skies]

I wanna see what you have to say about horses :3

the little horse girl in my heart just screamed something between a "YIPPPIEEEE" and a "LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO"

okayokaoykaoyayao i dont even know where to start uhh huh dhfisgdf

It's actually been a few years since I've interacted with a horse! I used to majorly be into them as a kid, hell probably before I got into anything else i was The Horse girl in my school/grade (and got picked on for it but who gives a FUCK those people SUCKED anyway) and i just. never shut up about them

I had a shit ton of books about horses and various breeds, my entire room looked like a horse shrine, the whole nine yards was just. Honse. and looking back im glad I had that growing up, that my mom indulged me on my first major interest and had tried to get me into horse riding lessons a few times! but alas, the 2008 recession hit my mom hard and i had no idea at the time.

Its funny actually because a lot of people around me growing up forgot I was a super big horse nerd because I got all quiet and into other things and such that I stopped talking about them as much, but again, that little horse girl in my heart is ready to pretty much at any time just give me the sleeper agent activation code word and I'm gone brother

I think my favorite example of people not knowing I was a horse kid was back in high school when I picked up a friend of mine, who was also a major horse girlie, (her mom would let her walk in negative degree weather and i wasnt letting that happen) she had been watching a video on her phone and it reflected in the window. and without any hesitation i went "tinker horse?" and she whipped her head around and looked at me in shock like "how did you know??"

the answer of how I knew is because thats one of my favorite horse breeds out there. because im a dork and i never forgot its name (technically i knew it by its old name with the slur in it, look it up if you need to) but regardless: i knew this mf from a mile away

These are tinker horses btw!! Big draft breeds with feathery legs / feet, long manes, and a big impressive build. Honestly as I've gotten older I think my preference in horse breeds has shifted to the draft kind, which is funny because as a kid I would tell you something like a quarter horse was my favorite. (though all horse breeds are good, its kinda like dog breeds in terms of discussion tho just. which ones you like to look at or like interacting with)

as for other favorites, i also really enjoy shires, Friesian, Andalusians, Tennessee walkers, american paints, and a whole lot more!

thats mostly all about like, nostalgic memories and some breed talk though, i dont actually keep up with current horse media or any sort of discussion, so I don't have any comments on lifestyles, conditions, how they're handled, etc. again, i'm really out of the horsesphere as of now and I doubt I'll get much back into it in life, seeing as its such an expensive thing to be into.

but generally: i like horses, i think they're fun creatures and i like to think of them as bigger (and potentially more dangerous) dogs. if i get a chance to interact with one in a good setting i tend to take it, and i usually walk away happy on the basis of "i got to pet a horse thats gonna make my WHOLE week", because honestly I'm not big on riding them anymore, i just like being around them.

but yea thats. some thoughts. oh my god i typed way too much

[average-limbus-fan]

Pt3 of Limbus Speed Dating?

Yi Sang

After your odd flower shop “date” with Faust you were given your usual few hours of respite before Charon came to collect you for the second daily sinner draw. The remaining half of the sinners had finally seemed to become more relaxed after seeing the examples those before them had set. Charon then once again plucked a name from her hat and promptly called for Yi Sang to come to the front which he did silently. “Well it looks like you’re up” you said trying to motivate him somewhat, he however remained blank faced. “So… I am to take you to an appropriate location for a date I presume” he asked, “well we can really just go anywhere you’d like it doesn’t have to be anywhere specific” you responded quickly. “I see…” he trailed off as he walked off the bus with you in tow. You followed him to a large building, it seemed to be an art museum of sorts. After he had payed for your tickets he then walked back over to you to interlock his arm with yours before leading you inside. Yi Sang had continued to remain silent for most of the “date” while the two of you wandered around the museum looking at the different pieces they had on display, you had noticed however that he had taken a few short glances at you multiple times, you suppose he was trying to gauge your interest in his chosen location. “It seems there aren’t many museums in this city” you said trying to start up some sort of conversation with your “date”. “Yes… this was one of the few I could find on the map Charon gave out” it seemed he had given some thought to your expected time together, he gave a faint smile at your realization. The rest of your time at the museum together was spent in complete silence, however Yi Sang had seemed to become a bit happier although he hid it well. As you two exited and prepared to head in the direction of the bus he stopped you and handed you a small clock charm, “I found it at a pawn shop… I hope you don’t mind… it probably isn’t as extravagant as the other gifts you’ve received…” he trailed off again but you interrupted “no no it’s lovely” you reassured him drawing a faint smile out of him once again. You returned to your quarters to add the charm to your ever growing collection of gifts, thankfully none of the sinners had gotten you anything too ridiculous which was an unexpected surprise, save for Outis of course, …but alas you still had 5 more sinners to go which left a lot of room for something to go terribly wrong… as per usual.

Ryoshu

You awoke the next morning to find that you’re thoughts had sadly been correct, as Ryoshu stood outside your door with a piece of paper in her hands “I got tired of waiting, time to get this over with” she said, causing you to start sweating as she led you back to her room. She had laid out some cooking ingredients… and a large assortment of knives, you considered running out while you still had the chance as you thought back to her “cooking” a while ago during her cookoff with Gregor, …you could still taste the bile in your mouth. How many times would she stab you if you tried to run… you thought to yourself, you knew she wouldn’t kill you but she certainly wouldn’t have any qualms about putting a few non-lethal holes in you either, so you reluctantly stood your ground. A decision you immediately regretted as she started cooking with what looked to be whale oil… if that stuff killed you would Vergilius or the sinners even be able to find your body… your anxiety ridden thoughts continued to distract you until Ryoshu unceremoniously dropped a plate in front you with a bored expression. The plate had a black mass on it… it seemed to be completely charred and reeked of burnt meat. You had no idea if it was even safe for consumption but Ryoshu’s icy glare forced you to reluctantly take a bite… you had to force down the urge to vomit as Ryoshu continued to stare coldly, you did your best to give her a thumbs up as you couldn’t bare to open your mouth. She smirked cruelly at you before packing the leftovers and telling you to scram, an order you happily followed as you grabbed the box and ran back towards your room where you barely managed to reach your bathroom in time to regurgitate the contents of your stomach. The questionable “leftovers” would then be promptly thrown into a toxic waste bin.

Don Quixote

With your stomach still reeling from it’s torturous “meal” earlier in the day you reluctantly made your way to the front of the bus where Charon handed you a piece of paper with directions, it seems your sinner was already waiting for you at a planned destination. Vergilius however was nowhere to be found… you hadn’t seen Hong Lu or Ryoshu in the past few hours either… well best not to think about it you concluded as you left the bus and did your best to navigate your way around the city. Luckily the blinding lights of the carnival weren’t too hard to spot in the darkness of the night, nor was the lumpy figure approaching you, upon closer inspection it seemed to be a pile of plushies moving on two stubby legs, “BEHOLD MANAGER-ESQUIRE THE SPOILS OF MY VICTORIES” a loud voice proudly proclaimed before the pile of plushies was promptly dumped onto you. As you looked over your newly acquired collection you were finally able to see the beaming short haired blond in front you. She then grabbed your arm and rushed towards the entrance of the carnival “Come now manager-esquire we mustn’t waste any of our time together” she said excitedly as you were pulled along with her. As you looked up towards the carnival rides your stomach turned once again still in shock from your “breakfast” in the morning and you silently prayed that Don wouldn’t take an interest in them. Thankfully she seemed more intrigued by the carnival games although it seems she had already won at quite a few… “Worry not manager-esquire for I shall double thou’s boon before the night ends” she said before making her way over to a water gun game stand. Oh dear… you thought to yourself as you tried to find something to carry around all the plushies you had been gifted. After purchasing a wheeled cart you quickly to returned to find Don with another pile of plushies which she then dropped into your newly acquired cart… thankfully you had planned ahead and gotten a larger one just in case. You then spent the rest of night running after Don and pulling an ever heavier growing cart, with the night finally coming to a close when the two of you stopped at a churros stand where you watched Don eat as you still couldn’t bare to stomach any food. “Aww how hast the time past so quickly” she said sadly, “we see each other everyday…” you trailed off but Don still seemed teary eyed as you comforted her while leading her back to the bus. You moved aside the slightly wilted bouquets and portraits of yourself to make room for your newly acquired plushie collection, your quarters seemed more lively then ever.

[starrystevie]

hiya everyone! the month of june is a big one for not only myself personally but also for this blog so we'll be celebrating a few things:

my own birthday on june 24th!

reaching 2k followers! (which is still mind blowing where did y'all come from)

pride month!

now i may not be a gif maker or edit maker, but i do want to celebrate by interacting with you all in the ways i know how! i'm going to be hosting what i like to call "roll for...?", a mysterious way to get stranger things content from me for the rest of the month. starting today, june 13, you can send me in asks for things to roll for (just make sure you go over the rules before sending in an ask pls <3)

if you're interested in participating, click the read more for the rules!

how it works:

i'll have the following categories to pick from: drabble, playlist, or aesthetic/moodboard. pick one of those categories and then select up to 3 of the following subcategories for me to roll specifics for: ship, trope, vibe/colors, length, era, crossover. whatever subcategories go unchosen, i can use if i want to! each of the subcategories will have a few options in them that i will then roll for to leave the final product up to the luck of the roll. if needed, any additional details will be left up to me! if you would like it to be entirely my pick, please select 3 ships listed below for me to choose from and i will take it from there. warning, some categories will be easier for me to combine than others (ie vibe with crossover might be challenging) so please take every post with a grain of salt. this is all just for fun. these will be posted as i can get them done, so feel free to send in asks whenever you want to! i will stop accepting asks for this project on june 30th but will probably still have things to post after that. all posts will be tagged with #rollfor2023 to help keep things organized.

important to know!:

if you have any triggers or things you wouldn't want to me to include, please let me know what to avoid. i'll honor it no questions asked. all drabbles will be rated anywhere from general to mature with absolutely zero explicit smut unless you tell me you are comfortable with it being included. overcommunicate with me and we'll both be happy campers!

subcategory specifics:

ship: 1. steve/eddie, 2. robin/nancy, 3. robin/chrissy, 4. jonathan/argyle, 5. joyce/hopper, 6. bee's pick of steve ship (platonic or romantic) trope: 1. enemies to lovers, 2. friends to lovers, 3. one bed, 4. the italicized 'oh', 5. soulmates, 6. bee's pick of shop au vibe/colors: 1. whimsical/pastels, 2. angst/dark muted, 3. hopeless romantic/soft pinks, 4. cheerful/bright & bold, 5. bittersweet/blues & greys, 6. angry/dark reds length (around a certain word/song count): 1. 100-300 words/3 songs, 2. 300-500 words/5 songs, 3. 500-750 words/8 songs, 4. 750-1000 words/10 songs, 5. 1000-1500 words/15 songs, 6. bee's pick era: 1. ancient greek, 2. 1980s, 3. modern/2020s, 4. 1800s wild west, 5. 1940s, 6. unspecified fantasy world timeline ala lotr or got crossover (all chosen from my favorites!): 1. moulin rogue, 2. across the universe, 3. bee's pick of disney movie, 4. grishaverse, 5. glee, 6. supernatural

an example ask (can copy / paste if you'd like!):

i would like a drabble with a roll for ship, length, and crossover. avoid character death and mentions of drugs.

i hope this makes sense, so please let me know if you have questions! i'm truly just wanting to do something fun for the hell of it because isn't that we're all here for anyway?! rejoining the fandom side of tumblr this time last year has been such a great decision. i've been able to meet so many of you wonderful people and remember what it's like to enjoy fandom spaces again without shame. best of all, it's gotten me writing again, which had been such a big part of my hobbies that i had pushed aside. getting back into writing as a way to express myself and make content with some fucking guys from some fucking tv show has made a massive difference in my happiness over the last year.

i thank you all so sincerely for being with me along the ride. tagging some of my beloved buds here in no possible order because if it weren't for y'alls support, i never would have written half the things i have. thank you from the bottom of my heart, truly <3

@buckleydiaz @thefreakandthehair @yournowheregirl @scoops-stevie @gothbat99 @bayouteche @toburnup @stevethehairington @judasofsuburbia @henderdads @sharpbutsoft @kkpwnall @figthefruitfaeth @fastcardotmp3 @fragilecapric0rnn @wynnyfryd @stargyles @jeysuso @bitchsteve @lovespiralls @riality-check @cheatghost @legitcookie @hellsfireclub @sanguineterrain @kingofscoops @roykentt @sidekick-hero

[redwineconversation]

Olympique Lyonnais Behind the Scenes (Episode 5)

This covers the month of January. Better late than never but alas some of us have jobs that we want to keep and cannot be chronically online. The Behind the Scenes translations is one of those times where I wish I was technologically apt because then I could just upload the video and add subtitles, alas, neither OLPlay nor my technology skills will ever make that happen.

I have no shame in confessing to this - I didn't want to do this one because Carpenter is in it and I am so irked by all the fucking Arsenal fans/stans suddenly thirsting for her to join their godawful team after the abuse she is has gotten from Arsenal stans the past two years. To act like she should join that club after what those people have said / done is so completely tone-deaf. Likewise, suddenly using "le clean sheet" every time your goalkeeper does their actual job is not as cute/funny as you think it is. It's annoying. It's so fucking annoying.

I will also save those godawful stans the time and say that Lyon / Carpenter do not address Carpenter's engagement to van de Donk as Lyon is a serious club who doesn't use a player's personal life as a marketing ploy. The purpose of the Behind the Scenes is to get to know the players' mentality and thoughts about the month's events.

Blah blah standard disclaimers apply; @OL Comms I feel like chipping in to contribute my Starbucks fund is the least you could do considering all the free work I am doing for y'all; how amazing would it be if some of you would actually get the mental help you so desperately need; y'all know the speech.

OLYMPIQUE LYONNAIS BEHIND THE SCENES (EPISODE 5)

Ellie Carpenter: We had a lot of games. We had Champions League games. I think it was a much needed break for everyone.

Selma Bacha: We really needed to have a break, because there are players who went straight into the World Cup so they didn't have a lot of rest. Everyone benefited from the break. For me, I went to Tunisia, where my family is originally from. So I had a great time with my family. And then we started up again. The break was short.

Damaris: It was good for everybody I think to go home, to be with our families and friends. Just to push football aside and enjoy ourselves. Yeah, that's always a good thing.

[OPENING CREDITS]

[TRAINING FOOTAGE FROM GIRONA]

Sara Dabritz: We went to preseason camp. It was really good. We spent a lot of time together. We had a nice hotel. It was intense but it's like that in camp. But I think it was good for us to prepare for the [second half of the] season.

Carpenter: The training camp in Spain was a nice way to come back at the start of this year to train well, to get the basics back, get back in the gym. And it was also really fun for the team morale. The camps with the team are always really fun. We have to work fun but also enjoy ourselves off the field.

Bacha: It was hard because you come back from break and you have to dig deep and work hard. So it was really hard because we had a fitness test over there.

Carpenter: The worst moment was probably the running test we had to do, the 1.5km [1 mile] sprint test.

Bacha: Honestly, that's when you realize that Olympique Lyonnais is a family. You can see it in the video clips, we're encouraging each other. The cohesion was top.

[TRAINING FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Bacha: My favorite moment was the team cohesion activity with the golf carts. Honestly it was so good. We had to do stuff - well, we had to do funny things. It was the best part.

Carpenter: Driving around the hotel trying to find clues, that was very fun.

[TEAM COHESION ACTIVITY FOOTAGE]

Carpenter: Yeah, we knew we had Paris FC as soon as we got back from Christmas break. After having been off we thought it might be hard to come back and play against a top team in Europe, in France for sure.

[LYON - PARIS FC GAME FOOTAGE]

Bacha: We got right into it. We know that those sort of games, they're going to very very big games because Paris FC is a really good team who has really improved and recruited really well. And honestly, it was a big game. We had to work for that win, so the game was won on mentality.

[GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Carpenter: Paris FC has shown that they're a great team, they're a top team in Europe, doing well in the Champions League and, yeah. The intensity was high. I think you could feel that everyone just came back from holidays but we'll fight, until those last five minutes when we did score.

[GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Bacha: Ah, Ada's goal, that's just Ada Hegerberg. That's it. There's no other forward who can do that. Honestly, when we celebrated - even I spoke in English, I said "what a goal". [Hegerberg speaks English when she's annoyed, which is why Bacha brings up the linguistic switch] Her shot was really incredible. You can watch it over and over. If you ask her tomorrow to do it it, she will. And it's true that she's the kind of player whom you can count on in big games. Everyone should have an Ada on their team.

Damaris: Yes, it was a magnificent goal. Speaking for myself, I was far back. It was a long ball, I headed it forward. I saw the ball stay there and I saw Ada [Hegerberg] call for the ball. When you're behind, you can see everything. Right before she took the shot, I was like "well, that's going to be a goal."

Carpenter: Yeah, she's a big game player, she scores big goals. So we needed that in that moment and she did that. So it was very cool.

[LYON - PARIS FC POSTGAME FOOTAGE]

Bacha: Honestly, it's good for us and it gets us going. I think we've been really good since the start of the season. And when I talk with players on other teams, or other coaches, they tell me that Lyon this year is unbeatable, so I hope it continues like that and we'll bring all the trophies home.

Damaris: The work we did for that game, we worked really hard. I don't think we were really efficient but we had a lot of opportunities to score.

Carpenter: Yeah, I think it was important that we started the year off with three points and continue our perfect streak in the league.

[LYON - MONTPELLIER COUPE DE FRANCE GAME FOOTAGE]

Dabritz: We had the game against Montpellier in the Coupe [de France]. I remember Amel [Majri] scoring a magnificent goal. It was a right on target.

Majri: Yeah, I saw Lindsey [Horan], she won the ball back. I called for it, she passed it to me. I think Ada [Hegerberg] was besides me asking for it as well, but I don't know, I think I was focused on what I was doing. So I just took a shot and it went it.

[GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Bacha: Yeah, it's really great. Good on her as well because you can see she is starting to get her rhythm back. It's not easy when you're not playing all the time. Here, honestly, I'm just so happy for her. I hope she continues like that because she's the sort of player we really need.

Carpenter: Yeah, I love playing with Amel [Majri]. Yeah, I think she's one of the best players in the world I've seen or played with. [is she though...] She's an amazing talent and you can see what she's capable of now when she's getting back to the top of her game.

[GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Carpenter: The team is in very good spirits at the moment, and you can tell that on the field. Off the field, we're a very close group and we work for each other. And on the field, you can see we're very connected. We're just enjoying ourselves out there, we're not too much pressure [on ourselves], we're just trying to play good football.

[GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Majri: So really, when I went to call for the ball, I could see that even if I got it, I didn't think I could do much with it. So I said to myself, "Amel, leave it", so I left it and there was Ada [Hegerberg] and then a goal. And I thought - well I'm not going to lie to you, when I left I thought to myself "I hope she gets it". And to be frank she was doing great work before, because Lindsey [Horan] got past the opponent, and she [Hegerberg] just shot across. Honestly, it's a great goal.

[GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Majri: Yeah, I'm happy because it's always nice to implicated in the build-up to a goal. I think that what I bring in terms of the style of play, I try to be involved in the ball movement, moving with the ball, moving without the ball. And I have good sensations, I feel good. Beyond that it's also the fact that I have been playing in consecutive games. But in terms of full games, I think it's one of my best performances since I have come back.

[GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Carpenter: I guess playing a team one week after the other, twice in a row, it's quite difficult. It was a different Montepellier we faced at their home as well, away. Yeah, it was a tough game, it was one we had to grind out. Yeah, we knew they were going to come out different, like after beating them in the Coupe [de France], we knew it would be a completely different game since they're at home, and they totally showed that.

Bacha: We know that the league and the Coupe de France have nothing to do with each other. We know that Montpellier is a very, very aggressive team. And we knew that playing at their stadium was going to be hard. But here, yeah, it was really hard.

[MONTPELLIER - LYON GAME FOOTAGE]

Bacha: The night before the game, I was really focused on myself. I knew there were people coming to watch us, members of my family. And then, corner. It comes back to Eugenie [Le Sommer], who gives it back to me, and I was like - I knew exactly where I wanted to put it. So I pulled it in and placed it on Vanessa [Gilles]'s head. So really, really happy.

[GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Bacha: It's that left foot, it's my left foot. What can I say. But beyond that, I work really hard. I know that I always want perfection. Because I know there are games where the crosses aren't good, but I really want perfection.

[GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Bacha: My second assist for Ada [Hegerberg], it's vintage Ada-Selma. It's that connection that I think not a lot of people have. Honestly, with her, I know where she wants the ball and - honestly, I don't even have to look up. Because I cross, but I already know where she is.

Carpenter: Yeah, Selma [Bacha] is a great crosser, a great assister. Yeah, they're perfect, those crosses, pinpoint. If it wasn't for her we probably wouldn't have gotten the three points. So it was great to have her service [LOL at the Franglais here - the correct word would have been contribution], it allowed us to score goals.

[GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Dabritz: I remember that it was a very intense game. But it's always like that against Montpellier. It's always a game which comes down to the duels, to aggression. They came back with that goal, it was a game which was a little [Dabritz mimes going back and forth] But then we won it and that's the most important thing.

[GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Dabritz: We gave it all on the field. And it's normal to have games which are more complicated than others. And yeah, Montpellier is a good team, I can admit that.

Bacha: That's why I said that Olympique Lyonnais, the mentality - honestly, there are few players who can walk on to this team and say they already have that mentality. [@/any team other than Lyon. A blood lust isn't innate. It's learned behavior.]

[GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Dabritz: We went to Austria for a Champions League game. Those are always special games for us. It's a particular game, playing the Champions League, those games are seen as the highest level.

[ST POLTEN - LYON PREGAME FOOTAGE]

Carpenter: Yeah, you never know really, when you go to other teams, other countries, how the pitch is going to be. Yeah, the pitch wasn't great. But we made the most of it and we had quite a good game.

Bacha: A stadium which was ... [Bacha laughs] It was a complicated game. No, playing on that pitch was complicated, it was a bit hard. But we started strong. We attacked from the start, even if we were starting to feel the tiredness. But we attacked from the start and were playing simple. And honestly, we were very efficient as well.

[ST POLTEN - LYON GAME FOOTAGE]

Dabritz: And yeah, we played a really good game, with a lot of goals and a really good performance from the entire team.

[ST POLTEN - LYON GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Bacha: [forcefully] We never underestimate a team. When you play simple and individually you're clean, technically you're clean, and you're all on the same wave length, honestly there are not - we're good.

[ST POLTEN - LYON GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Carpenter: Getting players back from injury, it's always nice, especially when they're providing assists and scoring goals. That's even better.

[ST POLTEN - LYON GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Dabritz: Yeah, it was a good goal. [laughs] We really enjoyed ourselves on the field, we had nice combinations, we were explosive offensively. At least I think so. So we were really happy after the game.

[ST POLTEN - LYON GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

[TRAINING FOOTAGE / COUPE DE FRANCE LYON - FC NANTES FOOTAGE]

Bacha: Yeah, it wasn't an easy game because maybe in our heads, even if I think it's not really like that, but instinctively it's human nature and we underestimated them. FC Nantes came in with their game plan. They're a really good team, I was surprised. The first half was difficult. I think it's a little bit because exhaustion is starting to creep in. But the changes at half time did us some good and we were really efficient. The coach [Sonia Bompastor] yelled a bit at half time but it's normal. It's like that.

Carpenter: Yeah, I think fatigue comes into play there. I think it was our fifth or sixth game in a run. They were a different team, we hadn't really played them before. I think we can put that first half behind us and I think we really came out better in the second half. But yeah, I think we ended the game better than we started.

[LYON - FC NANTES GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Carpenter: Yeah, it was so nice to see Delphine [Cascarino] make her return from her ACL. Obviously it's such a long rehab, such a long journey. It's tough to have an injury and go through something like that, and it's her second one as well. But I think she's done an amazing job. You can see in the way she's come back, she still has her speed, has her footwork.

Bacha: It was a really good moment for Delphine, the return against FC Nantes. We saw her struggle, her mentality is just incredible. It's really hard to have the ACL injury happen twice, to have missed the World Cup when we were expecting her, we wanted her there. Now she had the mentality, she dug deep. I'm really happy to see her back because it will really do us good.

[GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D / LYON - SLAVIA PRAGUE GAME FOOTAGE]

Carpenter: Yeah, we knew we were first in the group and obviously qualified, but we also knew we needed to put out a strong performance [they did not]. We wanted to keep the flow going for how well we're doing this month [of January]. On game day, obviously not everything went to plan. Obviously I think fatigue played a little bit in that as well, but that's not really an excuse. We should be better. We had 10,000 people come and you know, the more people that come the better, at least for us. We want to perform well, put on a show, for them to come back again.

Bacha: First of all we have to thank the fans who come out and support us. They're becoming more and more, so we need to thank them and for them to continue coming out and supporting us. After, it was hard because - well personally, I could feel the exhaustion. Then Slavia [Prague] was playing with a really low block. They came to get something at Lyon, even if we were already first and already qualified. At the end of the day we're Olympique Lyonnais. It's not acceptable to have played that sort of game.

LYON - SLAVIA PRAGUE GAME FOOTAGE CONT'D]

Carpenter: Yeah, it was very frustrating. I think games like that, you want to play the next game very quickly after so you can have a good reaction.

Dabritz: We were a little disappointed because we weren't happy with our performance. We wanted to show to the public that we can put on good performances, they came for us. That's why we were a bit disappointed. Beyond that, we want to continue, we always want to improve, progress. We always want to give our best. But it's not always possible.

Bacha: I'd rather it happened to us then than get to the quarterfinals and you're knocked out I hope it will serve as a lesson to us.

Carpenter: No team is perfect in the world. Some teams have draws or a loss and it's not the end of the world. I think we need to remind ourselves that we're also human as well. Not every game is the best game. January is probably the biggest month we've had in a long time. We knew we had a lot of games, we had to get points, play well, perform. I think as a team we did that great, especially as we have some injuries at the moment as well so we had to adapt. I think the team has held up well. We're ready for February.