#i probably wont interact with the online community much

[newengland-alligator]

Finally got the chance to watch the cinematic trailer for AC Shadows. It looks intriguing and I hope it turns out good!

[horrorshow]

Can you talk about why you think blocking and moving on is a bad thing? I thought it was a way to curate your space and avoid drama

idk maybe i'm too idealistic but fandom is a much more friendlier, welcoming, supportive, creative, engaging, active, diverse and interesting space when it's treated like a community where people are encouraged to participate and talk about their interests and where there's space for niche or more unpopular opinions without these people having to worry about being blocked and feel unwelcome by the majority of the fandom they are in. i can't stand how blocking everyone you disagree with has become the first thing to do.

you say its 'to curate your experience'. but blocking people does not only curate YOUR experience. you're also forcefully curating other users' experiences. and not for the better.

people say 'i will block you for literally anything' and then those same people wonder why engagement is down, why no one sends asks, why no one reblogs, why rarely anyone talks in the tags anymore and why this place feels so dead and boring and quiet. i wonder why!!!!

people treat real people as annoying ads they can dispose of at their whim. but that's not how a fandom or a site like tumblr works. (besides, if you really care about people curating their own experience you wouldn't block people. you can filter and blacklist and never see them again while still granting them the same freedom instead of actively making their experience worse.)

you say its to avoid drama. but seeing a post you dont agree with is not 'drama'. and blocking is not solving anything except for you personally. fandom was more fun when we remembered that every user is a real person you share a space with, and probably some mutuals as well, so you find a way to live with each other. starting with a restraining order seems a bit excessive and is not contributing to anything. it's not that hard to be respectful and tolerate others and acknowledge people have different opinions and interests and still co-exist in peace. its not that hard to be nice to people and try to find common ground with them and interact with the stuff you DO like. you do this in every aspect of your real life, so why not online?

i hear you say: 'but that requires WORK and i don't NEED to do any of that bc i can just block them'.

yeah, you can try to create your own bubble and only hang out with like minded people but you wont EVER fully achieve that (no matter how much you block, social media WILL keep feeding you posts you disagree with bc it makes them money). social media WILL pressure you into an 'us vs. them' mentality where you constantly feel like everything online is a threat or an argument you have to win and where being mean and unnuanced gives you the most notes and where you don't even see, let alone be able to treat, other users as people anymore bc you don't interact with them anymore other than to block or fight them. that's not how i want it to be online. it's not fun to me. and maybe i'm a pessimist but i think it will eventually be the death of online fandom and sites like tumblr. look at the state of twitter right now. DOES blocking give you a better experience in the long run? i doubt that it does. overall, i think it makes people even less tolerable and more vulnerable to hate and fear mongering, and social media an even more hostile place.

it's everything i hate about social media and everything i want to fight against and WILL fight against. i won't pretend my meager contribution will change anything, but i LIKE to just scroll past posts i don't vibe with and not see every argument online as a personal offense. it keeps me curious. most posts aren't that bad when you know the person behind it. i mean, you do you, i'm not gonna say what you should or shouldn't do bc that's up to you, but i recommend it: free yourself of the block button and bring back supportive user communities based on a shared love for the same thing and focus on what you have in common with people, just like you would do in real life. save the block button for the rotten apples who DO keep trying to pick fights and exclude others.

(which is, now that i think about it, probably the main difference: most people see the block button as a neutral way to prevent worse. but. that's only the case on an individual level. and treating everything online as an individual choice to which there are no further consequences, especially if they happen on a larger scale, is already a loss.)

[davekat-sucks]

This is was supposed to be a simple ask but it ended up getting long because of there being too many question and discussions but barely any answers so sorry about that.

On the topic of WhatPumpkin sometimes we all have to wonder what the fuck is going on behind the scenes, the latest news we got werent that much and it felt more of a like "Hey guys we are still alive dont forget about us" situation and it doesnt help that we cant really get any info because of how the only guy that Im atleast aware that works on it and is online is James and although I have no source because it was months ago, when beyond canon came back I remember him getting asked about Hiveswap and i dont remember if he answered it on the blog or on a reddit qna but he had said he cant really do much about it because hes just the music guy on that department and not an director or writer and he probably cannot say whats going on if hes aware of even the minimum because of NDAs and you know the situation is weird when not even the new director for post canon can do nothing about it or doesnt know what the fuck is going on over there either (i believe its more of the former).

On the same topic Hussie jumping the ship in my opinion feels like such an awful move in a moral and community sense, he hires fucked up people and ends up going through development hell and instead of trying to fix it he just runs away and gives someone else the work. He becasically invited destruction to that place by not doing background checks and shit and now everyone else but him has to suffer for it. I wonder if WhatPumpkin will close business after they finish Hiveswap (if they even manage to finish it) or if their writting quality wont be bad if they try to do Hauntswitch now.

I also sometimes wonder if Hauntswitch was made first maybe things could have been better. Think about it:

It happens on the Human World and you play as a cool kid looking troll and that could open the doors for a lot of potential to explore more about the Earth on the Homestuck universe and its conspiracy theories and also give us more video game parody mechanics.

The whole conspiracy theory Jude had that iirc had even the USA presidents connect to may be right considering the easter egg that shows some sort of cultists standing outside the mansion we see on the background and watching the events unfold.

We would get more answers for whatever the fuck those creatures that attacked the manor where.

another good dog best friend to fill the bec shaped hole in our soul <:

Exploration of what SkaiaLabs exactly does.

Overall sounding like an awesome story itself, a alien coming to earth and fighting a cult related to the presidents with a human companion. Especially considering how Dammek sounds like hes an asshole and also because of how trolls are usually violent could lead to interesting interactions.

I might be wrong and biased though but I feel like that concept could attract more outsiders than Hiveswap could ever wish to do. And hopefully thats it and that I wont waste almost an hour of my life rambling about this stuff (for my own sake because i feel like i could have spent my time better but i also need to post this somewhere and i dont use social media most of the time and when i do its usually to see fanart, memes and overall discussion of my fav franchises) but I probably will in the future.

It's cool with this ask. You brought up many good points here.

Yes, the question about Hiveswap was asked in a Q&A back in October 30th, 2023 from James Roach here (Archive ver for backup). The news about development should be something more like how Toby does with the Deltarune newsletter. Monthly, maybe do a special event ARG thing that gives insight of what's coming up, or anything like that. Though even with that, it might be probably too little too late since we are at 11 years since the Kickstarter had funded. Probably doesn't help since 2 million dollars was wasted, it's a mystery how the game is still being worked on if the original Kickstarter money that was given to them, had been used up. What is WhatPumpkin's new source of income then? Do they have a second job they aren't telling us about? Are they using part of that Patreon money from Beyond Canon since technically there are some that work within Hiveswap too like James? Then there's the fact Hussie not only wasted the money, but basically left the Kickstarter project he started in the first place. He may own it and be credited as the creator, but he won't be involved in the future Acts and Hauntswitch. I'm surprised nobody is pissed at him for scamming them out of 2 million dollars. Do people not care if the original person who hosted it left? Especially with the truth come to light thanks to Gio's research on this. I wouldn't be surprised if WhatPumpkin does shut down because they couldn't gain the sales needed after releasing Hiveswap Act 3. People will probably wonder if even buying stuff from Topatoco would help or not with HS merch like the prints slowly resurfacing. Drawing in the crowds from old and new to play the game will be tough. I wouldn't be surprised if Hauntswitch was first made in mind before Hiveswap. Dammek even had a 3D model ready too.

Likely back when it was still a 3D game, we would control briefly but then after the cutscene of them being transported to the other planet, we would then have to take control of Dammek, have him meet Jude to possibly have him find a way to help him back home, and the pair would adventure on Earth itself for the rest of the game to find out about the monsters and the cult. Dammek's paranoid nature would play off Jude's conspiracy theory pretty well as it has the two involved looking deep into the mystery. I wouldn't be surprised if something about the cult would eventually tie in to his home planet and the rebellion as a final grand twist. An idea like that sounds more interesting than some girl getting lost on an alien planet and was roped into some rebellion that she has no reason to be part of besides being concerned for a friend.

[toyfii]

sometimes i get obsessed looking at posts talking about "hating my kind" of people. i stop myself from feeling any hatred in return. what's left is a very strange emotion that i can only describe as curiosity. inside, i can tell that i am hurting from it, though... but another side of me is addicted to that pain because it, and the posts im seeing, reaffirm my self-degrading thoughts and push me closer to ending everything.

my life is such a swinging pendulum of "im not going to try, im useless, belong nowhere in this world, and will kill myself soon" and "lets try to do something in the world, lets continie with my hobbies, eventually ill find a community and friends". back and forth. back and forth. back and forth.

my life is so polar. just like our society and the online world. so much binary. everything is a dichotomy. and i belong nowhere. i dont feel truly accepted anywhere. i have to act fake and put on personas to feel like i belong. there is no real me. what everyone sees is my assumption of what they want to see. there's no point living if you aren't accepted anywhere, right? no point living if you've never truly lived before either.

i like helping people. i always want to help people. i dont think its because im a good person though. i think its because 1. i feel secure knowing that the other person depends on me, so they probably wont leave me and 2. i wont be indebted to anyone, so if i kill myself i dont feel guilty for wasting other peoples time and effort.

i dont and probs will never put tags on my stuff because i dont belong anywhere. i dont fit the requirements, im not like any of them. i wont be accepted, id just be a fake and pathetic loser who needs to learn their place in society.

if youre reading this i love you so much /p you are really amazing. one positive social interaction can change how i feel 😭 thank you so so so much youre so amazing. im really eepy now i think ill fall asleep...

[benry-coinings]

THE BENRY WELCOMES U >;3c

Requests are: OPEN!~

Yo. They call me Benr(e)y because that's my name,,

It/Xe/[REDACTED]/chats/BBBBs/benry/🫧s/🔵s/wins/techs

The Benr(e)y, The creature, The catboy, The catreature, your cringeness, The Online one, The Virtual thing, The Malware, The rat

Im the host of of an ever growing DID system because my autistic ass can't stop splitting fictives. I've got a couple special interests and gender is 1 of them, genders make me happy and i love gender. I also have BPD and i cry a lot oops. I have a girlfriend who's my FP and a bird and i love so much<3. I feel a good and im am like everything ,,.

Request Rules

What the benrey can do

Genders, Gender systems, Objectum Sexualities, Name suggestions, Pronoun suggestions, Name/Pronoun/Identity affirmation

Favorite topics 2 coin on: Software, Tech, Webcore, Oldweb, Gaming, obscure communities no1 rlly cares abt except me, alterhumanity, Weirdcore, Gore, Deretypes, cozycore, joke/meme/funnygenders

Terms related to neurodivergencies we have, those being: Autism, BPD, DID, General Anxiety, Social Anxiety, Depression, Agoraphobia

What the benrey cant do

identities involving groups the creature isn't part of (ex. the host is white and there4 wont be coining any POC specific identities)

Non Objectum Sexualities

Terms rel8d 2 fandoms im not in/dont know anything about

BYF

Even if you are on my DNI or uncomfortable/don't agree with my BYF, my terms are not restricted 2 any1. I can't stop you from rel8ing 2 or using my terms. I also can't stop you from interacting with my posts but i can block you if i catch you so be warned.

I have pretty bad social anxiety which bleeds in2 online posting, so i might not respond right away and i might just. randomly leave 4 a bit sometimes lol

I have a bit of a typing quirk (replacing words that sound like numbers with the actual number. (ex. Before=b4, great=gr8, too/to=2)) though i won't be providing translation bc i feel it's fairly easy 2 read

Please use tone indic8rs w/ me!!

I support all good faith identities and "contradictory labels"

I reclaim the term "yandere" and i use it 2 describe myself a lot! I also use gender systems like -stalker, -freak, and -cannibal, so if that makes you uncomfortable id suggest you stay away(but i can't stop you)!

Tags

#🫀I like everything ||Benrys term hoard hehehe

#🫧 that's the black mesa. Sweet voice ||my coinings!! request answers

#❔whuh ||anon asks

#🦷BBBBBB ||benry rambles, probably non gender stuff

If any of my alters chose to post, their name and sign off will be a tag as well (ex. #🔪Postal Dude, #🥀Vincentius, #🌈Travis, etc.)

[abyssal-system]

It's late and we can't sleep so I thought I might as well use this blog for its actual intended purpose for once (a diary), so this post might be a little all over the place. im sort of stream-of-consciousness'ing this.

block the tag "#personal" if you dont want to see (potentially sad) personal ramblings / posts from us. be safe, curate your dash, i understand.

things have been very quiet system-wise lately. i think we have a new(?) alter but I'm not sure How new or why they split. I'm not even really sure if its not my imagination tricking me into mistaking an already established headmate as a new split...

i've been thinking about them for a little bit. They seem to go by Hadal (though thats also just a catch-all name for the system when we dont know whos fronting) and i have a sneaking suspicion that they've posted on this blog before.

I havent been dissociating as much lately which is good but ive also not been switching at all which is... not a bad thing really, i guess, but it certainly doesnt help ease my fears of Being A Faker.

i know that systems have quiet periods, and i know that me being frontstuck and also unwilling to change that (fear of loss of control is a pain) so thats probably the reason why, but its still unnerving being the only one around.

ive also been thinking about the logistics of getting a diagnosis... I have a lot of fears about the medical system and abuse within it, particularly being stuck in a mental health facility against my will with no way out. its prevented me from coming out as a system to my parents (who... I feel like theyd understand. not Understand, but im not in any danger if they know. i just worry itll change our relationship in some way, like they wont think im Me anymore) and its prevented me from seeking treatment and understanding of my disorder.

the online system community is also rife with toxicity and misinformation and i do not whatsoever feel safe interacting with people who seem to snap at others without warning, so I dont have many system friends out of fear of reliving past friend group drama

I imagine that the feeling of total isolation I feel is common among other systems, but it doesn't really help to know that. my near-debilitating anxiety controls every part of my life and prevents me from seeking help when i otherwise would have.

it also doesnt really help that the one time i tried to find a dissociation specialist, the only one i could find that said they were queer friendly was 4 hours away in another state.

... i might look again. I might just tell my parents so they can help me look for a therapist.

I worry about that though. I worry that since my plurality doesnt really impact my life all that much (i dont switch very often, I dont have amnesia barriers, and i dont lose control of my body fully when i switch out) that either means Im Faking or Its Not Bad Enough To Worry My Parents Over. Its Not Bad Enough To Drive Across The State To See A Therapist For It when i have a perfectly decent one less than 30 minutes away

... i dont know. it feels like i have all the pieces to get the ball rolling on ... Something? but im not really sure if its worth it. we barely have enough money to keep the pantry full for a week, let alone to switch therapists and drive for hours just so i can Maybe get coping mechanisms or something.

.... I dont really know how to end this. i hope this wasnt too negative for this blog, i know i try to focus on positivity and lighthearted subjects.

please be kind in the notes. there is a (very scared) person behind the screen and I am trying to be better about opening up about my worries. kind advice is always welcome though! if it doesnt help me it could potentially help somebody else.

[pezpenser205]

it sucks that you cant just stop maladaptive behaviors once youve realized theyre maladaptive. youve actually got to work on it. like ever since middle school id put people through these "tests" to see if people still cared about me, and at the time it made sense and worked well. me, as an autistic kid, thought that when everyone said they would be at my birthday that meant they actually would, but no one came. when people complimented me it was oftentimes actually teasing, and it was confusing. it makes sense that i would try to find other ways to have "proof" that others were lying without having them say it. it makes sense that i would try to indirectly get others to compliment me or reassure me without directly asking for it, because my needs were ignored when i asked outright.

now these behaviors just get in my way. i feel like i cant communicate to anyone. online its easier, but in real life its like im locked up inside myself playing 4d social chess with social cues i never understood how to use properly anyway. i just completely shift in how i act and start acting on impulse like every interaction is a fight or flight situation.

im learning how to just ask for what i want, but it feels scary, because if i ask they have the chance to say no. theres safety in nudging peoples thought process down a certain path rather than asking directly, because when manipulating someone in that way youll never truly be rejected. however, youll also never be known, and more than likely you probably wont get what you want most of the time. youll always be lonely and misunderstood. nobody will be able to see you as a whole person. asking for things and saying that i need reassurance feels like im preparing to get hit or laughed at, and even if they respond nicely im still on edge wondering when the hitting or laughter will actually come.

it sucks that i just have to ask, and then trust that theyre telling the truth, because no matter how much i want to heal and trust them the buzzing in the back of my mind doesnt go away. fear and shame feel like theyre carved into my soul. i know what i have to do. i know why i need to do it and that it will make me happier, so why dont i just... stop??? brains are extremely silly.

[dontwanttotalktoyou]

“Oh, the internet is good cus it gives anxious people a way to interact not face to face”

No it doesn’t, fuck you. I’m just as scared to talk to a person online than irl. Why would cool goth girl on the street be different than cool goth girl on my dash. Who am I to talk to this person? What if the image I was to present doesn’t come across the way I intend it? I suck at righting and make to many mistakes. Should I say I’m a young and get looked down on or say I’m an old and seem incompetent? They probably don’t want to be inconvenienced. What if the things I say are un original and I just get laughed at cus several other people have made the same comment and got answered? Is this appropriate? What is appropriate? Wouldn’t want to overshare or overstep my bouderies. Where are the bouderies? FUCK

I legit made a new email just to subscribe to a news letter cus my other one is to unprofessional. THEY WONT EVEN SEE IT. I prefer people knowing what tf I am in its entirety than staying anonymous and letting people judge me by a 10 word sentence. I want to do so much for my community, to do activism, to volunteer, to share my ideas and point of view, but I can’t because I can’t get past a fucking email.

I’m saying this as tho I have a community or people to talk to, but I can’t even seem to find the courage to do that.

[juni-ravenhall]

im a swede who learnt multiple languages!

read some simpler books/comics for little kids to start with (probably while either reading a textbook for swedish, or doing duolingo, or using a free online class, or anything like that). look up words you dont know and accept you'll read very slowly at the beginning. if u need help im sure several of us on ssoblr can give recs for kids comics/books but i live under a rock so i wont try rn lol.

you can def start trying to read the sso books early in studying, just try it every so often and see how it goes. if u have a dictionary on ur phone handy u can look up words quickly.

as soon as you can, start playing sso itself in swedish and try to read the text as much as you can (change language setting when you log on the launcher). being immersed in interactive things like games is rly helpful for learning. you can also play the sims in swedish (ts4 basegame is free).

if you like disney, make use of the disney lyric videos on youtube - listen to swedish versions with lyrics on screen and translations on screen. for other swedish music u might not find translated lyric vids, but any sort music + reading and memorising lyrics is good, so try find some swedish music you like. studying lang with music helps you memorise grammar and word order and other patterns in a natural immersive way.

u can also try posting in swedish in any community relevant to you, like writing swedish posts on tumblr or ig or whatnot (u can make a specific sideblog/acc for it if needed), and just browsing swedish content on social media or youtube to practice can help too.

i cant offer much intense help bc of my health and energy levels but id gladly help with random questions and stuff when im active on tumblr! and if u have trouble finding books/comics in swedish to practice with i can potentially help u get ur hands on some.

I've been thinking of learning Swedish as the new Soul Riders trilogy doesn't seem to get released in English any time soon, but I would like to read them so much! My question is, is there anyone who has been learning the language and could give some advices which books are good to start with? Or maybe is there any native speaker who'd be willing to help me? ☺️

[rabbithaver]

not doing so hot rn lol

[catboyantichrist]

Hi there! Can you please do relationship headcanons of a gender neutral MC with autism and ADHD dating the seven brothers? I’d love to see more positive writing of a neurodivergent MC and how each of the brothers would love and respect them regardless of their disabilities. Feel free to do this if you want to. If not, that’s ok! Have a great day! 😁👍🌷🌹🌺🌸🌼🌻🌷🌹🌻🌼🌸🌺

This ask literally made me squeal- my neurodivergent ass is gonna have way too much fun with this- LMAO Just a warning, I'm basing this mainly off of my personal experiences (I have ADHD and am possibly getting tested for atypical autism in the future.). Ill try to be as broad as possible but I'd just like to give a heads up.

Just know that if you don't relate to this post or something in it, that doesn't mean you aren't valid! Everyone experiences neurodivergencey differently ^^

☆The Brothers Dating A GN!MC With Autism & ADHD☆

Day-to-day life has always been a struggle. As it feels like no human truly understands why you function the way you do. From bosses, to teachers, to neurotypical friends. Life can feel draining and like a chore when you're living in a world that doesn't function the way you do.

Then your world literally changes. You're in the devildom now. Most people would be terrified that they're living in a house full of demons. But you weren't. You felt like you finally belonged, and eventually you finally found love. Something that people assumed you'd never be able to find. Well jokes on them because your lover treats you with so much respect and kindness, and of course you do the same. This is some of what your lover does that just makes your heart spin:

Lucifer:

-Much to your dismay, before Lucifer started to get to know you he was similar to the humans you've encountered in the past. This doesn't last long though as one of the brothers (most likely Leviathan or Mammon) try to explain. He begins to go a bit easier on you, and also falls for you.

-When you guys start dating, he makes it his goal to help make your day-to-day life easier. Dare I say, he takes pride in it. (Hahahah aren't I funny?)

-He notices how you need a schedule to function, but how much you hate schedules. So with your permission, he makes a loose schedule and follows it WITH you. It simultaneously helps you function more than usual, and it helps Lucifer take breaks when he needs to.

-You two begin to do everything together, as doing stuff together and holding each other accountable is a lot easier than doing it alone

-If someone ever dares to make a rude comment about you Lucifer will um... "take care of them".

-If you ever get overstimulated from the environment you're in, Lucifer keeps his office wide open as a quiet place for you. He keeps a weighted blanket, some headphones and any stim toys you usually use in a corner of his office. If you're not comfortable with them out in the open he'll keep them in a special box somewhere in his office that others can't get into.

Mammon:

-Executive Dysfunction gang! The both of you are relieved that you understand each other and some dumbass wont just go "jUsT gEt Up aNd dO iT!"

-If you guys are struggling with it at different times, you'll try to help each other do small tasks that require very limited effort so that one of you don't get overwhelmed and stressed out. If its a particularly difficult day, you'll just stay there to support the other if they want that.

-If both of you are struggling that day, you do nothing ✨together✨ and just vibe with each others company.

-This man brings you shiny things. They don't even have to be worth anything, they're just shiny. You proceed to do the same. You two now have a designated spot for shiny things you bring each other. If you have an interest in art, you and him will probably end up using the shiny objects as art projects.

-A LOT of impulse shopping. You guys enable each other. Although you quickly realize that you impulse shop for each other. Every second day you end up bringing each other gifts and laughing about it after.

Leviathan:

-Y'know that arm thing two neurodivergent people do when they find out that the other person is neurodivergent? Yeah you two did that. And still continue to do that. It's your greeting now.

-You two spend tons of time either cuddling and talking about your special interests together, or both of you are pacing around Levi's room talking about your special interests together.

-And if you end up having the same special interest?? Oh man the serotonin you two both get just being AROUND each other.

-If you have a hard time around tons of people (in general or just at certain times) he's more than willing to share his room with you and for you two to do online school together. I mean hey, doing school by yourself online is difficult. (Even if it's more comfortable for you both)

-Will he get you a matching pair of noise cancelling headphones if you have auditory sensory issues, or if you just like the pressure on your head. (I don't know if that's a neurodivergent thing but I will wear my headphones just so that I feel some sort of pressure on my head)

-You both communicate what you need, and whether you need alone time or not. Making sure not to trigger any form of rejection sensitivity dysphoria for eachother.

Satan:

-If you were one of those neurodivergent kids that spent all of their time in the library, going through books like wildfire in middle school, get ready for that to be reignited.

-You two will read together all the time, and if you're having a day where you're more fidgety and don't wanna stay still, Satan is more than happy reading to you while you pace around.

-Satan has a natural curiosity, and loves to learn about anything that he doesn't already know about. So if you have a special interest about your own neurodivergency, he is more than happy to listen to you ramble about your life experiences and symptoms.

-Honestly, it doesn't even have to be about neurodivergency, Satan is happy to listen and learn about anything you're interested currently.

-If you aren't big on physical affection from humans or, well... humanoid people, that's perfectly fine! That's what animals are for! He'll take you to a cat cafe and will enjoy spending time with the animals with you.

-Similar to Lucifer, if anyone makes a comment about the way you act, they wont live to see another day. Unlike Lucifer, the demons who say these comments don't even finish their sentence. They're dead before MC blinks.

Asmodeus:

-When Asmodeus finds out that you have sensory issues that affect what you wear, he decides to hand-make clothes with fabrics of your choice. He has no issue with you prioritizing comfort over appearance, but if you want to put effort into your appearance and texture is stopping you, he's more than happy to design some stuff for you.

-Asmodeus has always been a touchy person, but if you aren't comfortable with that he'd never force you to cuddle. If you are interested in physical affection one of his favourite things to do is put makeup on your face, or just touch your face.

-Speaking of which, if you ever impulsively cut your hair whether it be from breakdown, normal impulsivity, or sensory issues with your hair being longer. He'll always help you cut your hair. He wants to make sure that once you cut it, you wont regret it the next day.

-Depending on whether you like going outside or not (or if its depending on the day) he's more than happy to take you to the fall! He'll make sure you're always comfortable and if you need the attention diverted from you if you need a break!

-If you don't like going outside, Asmo will dedicate certain nights for just you two to hang out. He can always energy match you. Hyperactive? Oh he's right there with you bouncing of the walls. Calmer? He doesn't mind just vibing with you. Comfort? Oh you've come to the right guy.

-Asmodeus is very emotionally intelligent, it may have originally been for the wrong purposes (charming others) but now he can use it to help you work through issues with socializing with others, past traumas from other people, he'll always do his best to support you as long as you'd do the same for him!

Beelzebub:

-Beel is always well meaning, but whether you're neurodivergent or neurotypical, communication is key with him. So, if you're unintentionally blunt to neurotypical people, that's exactly what Beel needs and wants. He knows you don't mean it out of harm, you're just trying to state your boundaries.

-Do you need a weighted blanket? This man will become the weighted blanket. He wants to make sure you're comfortable at all times!

-If you have trouble eating, Beel is here to help. If you take meds for ADHD and they make you lose your appetite, or just general forgetfulness, he'll remind you to have at least some sort of small snack throughout the day. Nothing too filling, just enough so that you aren't running on zero food throughout the day.

-All the go-to and comfort foods that you had in the human world? Beel would make it his MISSION to get them, and TONS of it too. It's the only food in the house he wont eat because he knows how important it is to you. He will tear up a bit if you offer to share though.

-If you're in a hyperactive mood, or anxious, Beel will convince you to do some light exercise with him to help calm you down

Belphegor:

-If you have trouble sleeping, Belphie will definitely try and help. Ranging from cuddling, aroma therapy, getting Beel to do exercise with you. To more magical means (if you're comfortable with it) like sleeping powder.

-If you just have a different internal clock than the average person, that's fine too! It may be permanent but that's okay- Belphie will sleep at any time with you.

-Isn't generally a social person so if you're not that big of a fan of social interaction you don't have to worry. Belphie would even do online school with you!

-He would let you use his pillows and blankets to stim if that's something you're interested in. He'd also listen to you ramble about your interests while doing so! As long as you don't mind him talking about the stars afterwards.

-Definitely the most blunt out of his brothers, so communication wouldn't be an issue between you two. If his bluntness is a bit too harsh for you he'll try to tone it down a bit, but it would probably just end up as him trying to explain the reasoning behind the bluntness and how it's not out of harm.

[deafaq]

I feel like this is probably the Most obscure experience Ever but I need to share it with SOMEONE so I feel less like a fr**k of nature. The shortest way I can say this is that I am HoH & mute & feel like I cannot belong Anywhere. I don't relate to any other HoH people. I can't fit it with hearing people. I don't know any other deaf or hoh people irl (except for my bio dad but he's eh & can't sign) & I'm too scared to try and get involved in the Deaf community bc I think everyone will hate me(1)

(2) hoh/mute anon again just thought I'd add that I'm mostly fluent in asl! However I'm also a minor who is incredibly dependent on my caretaker (she is not super good with signing) & I can't really just Ask her if I can go to a Deaf event. I feel like I can't, at least. I don't think it helps at all that I have a severe anxiety disorder & c-ptsd so interacting with 1. pretty much anyone when they aren't familiar with a topic 2. new people is terrifying!

Hello,

thanks for sharing your experience! It sounds difficult and lonely.

Though you are correct that muteness is not that common, I have met few deaf people who wouldn't or couldnt speak for various reasons.

But feeling isolated, like you don't fit in anywhere... thats a very common hoh experience. I am sending you hugs.

I can assure you that no, not everyone will hate you! Especially young Deaf communities can be very nice and welcoming spaces. But I understand that this is one of the features of anxiety, that you rationally know all people wont hate you, but your emotions say otherwise.

I can assure you it does get better though. Especially if you are minor now, once you are adult, your options really widen and that helps.

Some other tips I have:

- do you have a therapist? Therapy can be an incredibly valuable tool, esp. if you have anxiety.

- psychiatrist. Lot of mental health issues are much easier to manage with meds.

- social services and non-profits. There are organizations which can help with your situations, offer ASL interpreting, etc. Depending on where you live, they are often free. For example, you should have ASL interpreter for your health examinations, if you don't have one already.

But i understand these official things can be difficult to access for minors.

So some other tips:

- there are actually online deaf and/or Hoh local communities. Facebook especially in my experience has them. You don't have to interact, why not just starting with checking them out and "lurking", at first?

- ASL is neat! but its another language entirely and it can be difficult to learn. if you want to communicate effectively with your caretaker, there are other ways of communicating. For example, text to speech. lot of people also create their own "home" signs to make signing easier at home.

Hope I helped, at least a little. Don't give up! Life does get better!

Mod T

[siriusblacktothefuture]

Alright, I've had a couple of interactions on this blog in the past few weeks that have pushed me to writing this out, so here is my long ass post.

I don't have to justify my very complicated relationship with the Harry Potter franchise to anyone.

Now I'm going to explain my opinion a little because I think maybe it might shed some light on the subject, but I dont have to respond to anything I dont want to. This is just my opinion, my experience, and my personal take. You don't have to agree with me. I dont have to agree with you. I also dont have to debate anything because... no one is entitled to my time or energy. But if a terf tries to step in I will not fucking hesitate to block and report you, so keep that in mind.

So heres the thing; as much as everyone wants this to be a black and white issue, for some of us it's not. If it is for you, that's fantastic! I'm genuinely glad you can pick a side in the arguement and feel comfortable with your opinion. 10/10 for doing your own funky thing, ya know?

And I understand why it can be a black and white issue. Harry Potter is unquestionably a racist, anti-semitic, classist, transphobic, and misogynistic work of literature. It was written by a bigoted person, and her personal beliefs undeniably ripple into the story. I in no way condone those ideologies, and I haven't even financially supported her franchises or works since The Crimes of Grindlewald, because for me, I drew the line at a Korean woman being kept as a pet. JK Rowling has been terrible to so many minority groups, I will never be giving her any form of support again. And if that's the reason you full stop draw the line at Harry Potter content, I don't blame you. Genuinely, I understand and wish you nothing but support, because that's a legitimate argument, okay?

"But how can you say that when you still have a Harry Potter blog"

Because my attachment to the wizarding world helped me work through a lot of personal trauma, lead me to finding a safe queer friendly place to interact, gave me the majority of my friends, and lead me to having a creative outlet for the first time in years. I could go into details, but I wont to keep this consise, so that's the summary. That's my personal reason for starting and continuing to have this blog.

That doesn't excuse the offensive rhetoric in the series by any means. In fact, the majority of my interactions over the past few years have been discussions on why Harry Potter is offensive and how to write proper effective representation into stories. That doesn't change that me and my friends still give attention to the series, even if it leads to no ones financial gain (aside from small fan artists). That doesn't mean that in the past I didn't unflinchingly adore and support JK Rowling and her books, because I did, because I was young and didn't know better.

But heres the thing; I'm a person. I fuck up (quite often). I have to sit and think about what is the most moral choice I could make VERY OFTEN and sometimes I choose wrong. Sometimes what I deem as moral doesnt fit into someone else's definition. Sometimes I have a warped perspective or a flat out bias for certain topics. Things I thought were good and wholesome 5 years ago can turn out to be terrible upon further inspection. Hell, maybe even this post will be something I mess up with. But that's for me to learn from. And getting yelled at by some nameless, faceless person online is not going to help me learn anything. In fact, I'm admittedly a spiteful petty man, so that will probably just lead to me digging my heels in harder.

I have kept this blog because I want the initial community of people to be able to reach out to me if need be and to remember the good times I did have in the past. I am fully aware of the problematic nature of the books. I am fully aware that JK Rowling has directly caused hateful laws to be passed against the community I'm a part of. I know. And I know I'm not the most morally sound person for still interacting with Harry Potter content in 2021. Maybe one day I'll have a change of heart, look back and be disappointed I didnt see things the way people wanted me to see them in this moment. But that's for me to decide.

This is my blog. This is my corner of the internet that I carved out years ago to have fun while not hating myself for being trans, and it was the one place I had I felt comfortable and supported by a group of people. So I'm keeping my blog for that community.

And if that's a problem for you, unfollow and block me; that's okay! Unfollowing or blocking has literally no effect on me or my life, and you deserve to feel safe and comfortable in your own corner of the internet, too

So that's it, thank you for reading any of this

[ilikemilkbread]

i was thinking for a long while about whether there would be any purpose to me making a "goodbye" post here, considering i barely talk to anyone here anymore nor have i really had anyone i used to talk to reach out to me

but. i kinda want to. just to use tumblr to talk about myself for one last time. and say that final goodbye. except not final lmao

its been 6 months since the last time i reblogged a post. which is weird to think about. its been longer since i was actually active here. its been longer since i last talked to a mutual. oops. i still definitely value the people ive met here, but... i just stopped using this site. its hard to talk to people if you arent using the same platforms for communication

to a big block of text that may actually comment on things:

im doing a lot better now.

across a lot of my time on tumblr, i think ive come across as an often vitriolic person. i most likely was a vitriolic person. i spent ALL of my teenage years on this site, and my teenage years were some of my outright worst. i used tumblr as an escape from that, but i allowed my emotions to spill across. i talked negatively about things often (because i couldnt vent to people in real life). i often outright criticised things i knew my mutuals liked. i would be dismissive and negative about topics for the sole reason of hoping that it would be enough to make a mutual unfollow me. i gained some sort of sick validation from that feeling. its weird to think about. its weird to know how much i cared about these interactions with people i barely knew

lately, ive moved away from online spaces. a bit. ive probably spent way too much of my time on youtube watching study content and fucking discrete mathematics guides lmao. but ive done less doom scrolling. i dont really know what shows are popular anymore, and im fine with that

the biggest change that helped me, i think, was finding other queer people. my university has a queer collective. ive never been more blessed to know such people

i also met my beautiful boyfriend there.

university has treated me kindly. now that were back in-person, ive been thriving. my current units are... something, but i find computer science as a whole thrilling. ive had the opportunity to interview for some related roles (mainly lvl 1 helpdesk lmao) and its been an overall fascinating experience (yes im still a first year shhhh)

with the assistance of a friend, ive found a nearby clinic that does hrt currently accepting new patients. if you know the state of trans healthcare within australia, finding a place accepting new patients is HARD. i am endlessly grateful to my friend for informing me of the clinics status. ideally, ill be starting hrt soon

but. mostly, ive come so much further than i thought i ever could. im out in a small community, and im going by my chosen name in many circles. ive cut my hair off. i have a boyfriend who is part of the queer community himself (though cis) who accepts me. i NEVER thought i would have this opportunity pre-transition.

and my queer friends i have found in life. there is beauty in community. i care so much about all of them. i didnt realise how lonely and isolated i was, as a trans person not knowing any other queer people.

my life has changed for the better. this post exists solely so i can ramble about that.

im probably not going to delete my tumblr. its still too useful for when i need to find certain things from my past. but i wont post regularly ever again.

maybe ill do another long ramble-post if something important happens in the future.

[factual-fantasy]

21 asks, some old some new, all basically just heart warming compliments. ♡ඩᴗඩ♡

You’re welcome!! And thank you so much!! Something I always love to do with characters like this is give them some crazy depth. Give answers for things that the media they’re from never answers. I always work really hard to make it all fit together and really feel natural and I’m so happy you noticed! (இ﹏இ`｡)

I’ll be sure to. I’m still feeling really crummy mentally, but taking a break from my lovely community of fans certainly didn’t make me feel any better. XD

Pfff Kitty cat Pirate man XD

Well you’re sort of right. Captain Barnacles is my favorite character 100%, but the reason why I draw those two together so often is because the show has established that they are really good friends. 

Where ever the Captain is, Kwazii is usually nearby. Kwazii was the only one that knew about the Captains fear, Kwazii is the Octonauts lieutenant, which probably means that they spend a lot time around each other. They share a bed pod, they have had these little interactions that don’t happen with anyone else. Like fist bumps, shoulder pats etc.

They’re even used as an example of symbiosis in the crab and urchin episode! Now, you can interpret that how you’d like, but I believe the show is somewhat subtly trying to push the point that these two are best friends, like family even.

So when ever I draw Captain Barnacles, I always have an incentive to draw Kwazii with him. :}

Honestly by my headcannons, I feel like Kwazii would need it more than anyone else really. But yeah, the Captain could really use me a pick me up. XD

Dawww you’re welcome, I’m just glad everyone likes my art so much. ♡●ᴗ●♡

Th-Thank you!! That’s so sweet!! I’ll Be sure to keep making them!- Be sure to drop in some suggestions you guys so I know what ya’ll want to see!! :}

COMMERE YOU

(before I left for a break)

Well I may have needed more time to “relax”, but I just missed you guys too much lol.

Wow! That’s a lot of shows! I don’t recall really watching.. any of them.. any way uh- that aside, there are several shows I used to watch as a kid. Some weren’t meant for kids but were still funny to me.

For one, like I’m sure a lot of people did, I watched SpongeBob.

I also used to watch, of course, Octonauts. Although that was when I was a wee bit older.

I also used to watch The Three Stooges.. this one was for adults I think but it was still hilarious.

I also used to watch Beetle Baily, although this one was kind of like a once a year tradition type thing we did.

There may be one or two more but I don’t recall.. I mean, we did have one episode of speed racer that I watched over and over and over again. Or.. was it a movie? Heh, I uh, cant really recall.. 

(after my break announcement)

Thank you, turns out taking a break from Tumblr kind��a just made me miss the community. I felt really awful while I was gone but feel a little better after returning sooo.... guess I’m hangin around for a little while longer! :}

No I don’t ship anyone personally, although I can see how some of their dynamics could be seen like that.

Oh! No worries, that’s alright, and that thing is in the description as a heads up kind’a. If I tag my own art as ship or explicitly say it is okay to do so, then go for it. I just don't usually ship characters and don't want my art to be perceived incorrectly.. 

I have watched both Octonauts movies and season 1-3 on Netflix. When it comes to season 4, so far I haven't had much trouble just finding it on YouTube.

When it comes to watching season 4 in order, just go to the episode wiki, find the names in order and keep searching on YouTube until you’re sure you’re on the right episode. Pretty sure you can find basically all the Octonauts episode this way, go ahead and give it a shot! Hope it works!

To keep the fourth wall breaking to a minimum, what would my Transformer OCs think of Octonauts?

Suburban, A.T.Dragster, Green Truck, Escort, Vega, Red Van, Brown Suburban, Miata, AND Honda, most likely wouldn't really be interested and wouldn’t really have an opinion on the show, but they don't make fun of anyone who does watch it. No matter how old. Volvo specifically would respect the educational aspect of the show and most likely wouldn’t pick on anyone for watching it either.

U.M.Dragster would kind’a poke fun at the show and its imperfections. But low key is peeking around the corner wanting to know what the characters do next.

White Truck thinks it pretty cool and kind’a likes to watch it with others, but wont really go out of his way to watch it on his own.

Beluga would probably think its really cute, bet 10 bucks her favorite character is Kwazii.

Ranger would be hooked. She loves everything about Earths water and want’s to learn everything about it. Including the creatures that live in it. She would appreciate the show “dumbing everything down” for her, because she doesn’t know these basic things that kids know. Having everything “dumbed down” makes it easier for her to understand everything.

Jeepy’s driver used to make fun of me for watching it, but now he thinks it neat. So maybe he’d think its silly but eventually come around?

Bash Buggy cant see the screen-

But really Its cool though, he wouldn’t be all that interested in it even if he could watch it anyway.

Daww thank you! ♡●ᴗ●♡

Oh how cool! I never thought so many people grew up watching this too, I thought this show was really obscure! Glad I can share the nostalgia and joy with ya’ll through my art! :}

You mean the Vegimals? These little dudes?

I just haven’t had a good opportunity to draw them yet is all. 

Hmmmm.... let me think.. I feel like my Transformer OCs would mostly like certain aspects of seasonal things, not one season and all of its aesthetics as a whole.

Suburban, Red Van, Escort, Brown Suburban and Green Truck love the bonfire part of colder weather. The warm, bright and surrounded by loved ones aspect of it is what they enjoy. Especially Brown Suburban. He loves bonfires man. The more light and heat the better, that poor mech is freezing his aft off out there in that old manky dark shed all by himself. He just wants to be around his loved ones where its warm and bright.

Miata would probably like pumpkin spice lattes, and just that aspect of fall. Beluga and Honda however would be all over fall and all its traditions. They’d be all over every season really, always up to date with trends and having fun.

The Dragsters are all about summer and its aesthetics. Summer is the prime time for dragstrips and the weather they function most efficiently in so they’re all for it.   

Vega is more about fall. Sure its not really racing weather, but he does like all the pretty colors and the temperature is just right for him.

White Truck would like summer the most. He’d like the attire, the swimming, the warmth, all of it. He’d function a little on the edge I’d think though, he does have a bit of an overheating issue.. but still, I think summers for the win.

Ranger would like summer. Summer = more fish in the water. She loves to look at fish and be out in the water and just explore everything. Summer is when most of the fish are around so she’d really enjoy that. When it comes to seasonal outfits and food? Meh, waters cooler.

Volvo doesn't care for any weather or aesthetics honestly. But would prefer fall for its cooler temperatures. Having so many layers of armor is bound to make you overheat eventually.

Jeepy would like the fall and winter most of all, because of MUD. Going slipin, driftin and slidin with Bash is a real hoot, so he’d really like those seasons. He’s just built for them you know? Plus he’d kill a man for a glass of eggnog so he likes that aspect of cooler seasons too. :}

Bash Buggy likes summer and spring for the temperatures mostly. He also likes winter and fall, but because of the mud, he doesn’t like them for any other reason. Just the mud and goofing around with Jeepy. Everything else about those cold seasons are terrible, and he cant even see all the pretty colors and aesthetics so what does it matter? His body has no insulation anymore so the cold just eats him up, and he cant go outside in the snow because of his blindness and the cold. So he’s stuck shivering indoors while his friends go goof around in the snow without him. Colder seasons suck besides mud, the warmer ones are a win.

I don’t know, it just kind’a makes me uncomfortable. Not all artists are the same, not all artists like that.

It kind of feels like stealing to me in a way, I just don’t like it..

I want to, but I am completely halted by the knowledge that these comics don’t get much traction. They only get a handful of notes when I post them, which just makes them feel like a waste of time.

I’m weird about time. I don't like talking about my interests with others because I know I’m wasting their time and they don’t care anyway.

I am heavily discouraged to draw things online, not just because people steal, but because only a handful of people truly care and get excited about them.

And I mean, a handful of lovely followers, is a handful lovely followers. But you can see how a people pleaser like me would drift towards what people want me to draw instead of what I want to draw.

And when it comes to what people want me to draw? Besides those lovely few, people don’t want to see my comics.

[elliium]

i get and agree with what you're saying but i feel like telling twitter stans “__ is not your friend” or “you’re just a number to __” is ineffective because 1) it’s been memed to the point of meaninglessness anyway and 2) i feel like they do know that to some degree, like they're not thinking dream will be friends with them. but they do think they know him since they can't accept the people you follow have a job to be entertainers and that’s it. they are obviously people too but you cannot interact with them or know them in any way in which their job as online entertainers is separate. also idk how much time you spend on there but i ended up just having to delete twitter altogether because even the seemingly normal people i followed were so quick to participate in toxic behavior or "boost" shitty educational threads written by white 14 year olds lol. i feel like the pressure they put on creators also exists in their own communities where they draw their own lines in the sand, get called out for being insane, draw a new line, then look to whoever in their community is the last to realize the line is different now and blame it all on them. like i remember when it sent everyone into panic george didn't want photoshopped dms of him saying a slur

yeah i agree the “i am not your friend” is just a meme now it doesn’t really hold up against stans rn. i also understand that people Know that they’re not a number, but i just feel like recently it’s gotten to a point where people are Only seeing these things as memes and not actually thinking about the words behind the meme. people know that they wont be friends with ccs but they still think that they have a prominent enough role in a Cc’s life to have a say in it, like who they’re friends with and stuff. i agree w you when you say “ they’re not thinking dream will be friends with them, but they do think they know him” 100%!!!! this is what i was trying to say but obvs i’m not the best at talking/wording things so it didn’t come out that way and probably sounded a lot harsher than i meant it to be 😭

your whole message i agree with, there’s always a line drawn where you “should be” but it constantly changes, i.e. one day rt-ing information is enough, then the next day you shouldn’t only be rt-ing but also writing your own threads, etc etc. tbh i scroll through twitter a lot but i don’t have many mcyt mutuals (i’m still on 5sostwt LOOOL) so i think the mcyt mutuals are bridging on being toxic in the fandom . tbh i think i’m gonna just stop using twitter it always seems like a downer on my day and not an escape anymore