#i probably can still remember what i had in mind then

[ylangelegy]

so disconnected 📵 jeonghan x reader.

if jeonghan's 'boyfriend material' posts are on point, well— you can thank his girlfriend.

★ jeonghan x social media manager!reader. ★ word count: 2.6k ★ genre/warnings: established relationship, fluff!!!, txt's soobin is mentioned, down bad!jeonghan, jealous!jeonghan. some smau elements. not proofread; we go out swinging, baby. ★ footnotes: "kae if i wake up to a single shred of jeonghan on ur page..." ¡sorpresa, @diamonddaze01! no further notes, your honor.

🎧 now playing: disconnected by 5 seconds of summer — i admit i'm a bit of a fool for playing by the rules, but i've found my sweet escape when i'm alone with you.

Click.

Jeonghan hasn’t even looked up and yet he already knows what he’ll find when he does. Sure enough, when he shifts his weight onto his other foot and glances away from the TikTok he’d been watching— there you are. 

He wishes he could see your beautiful face. Alas, it’s obstructed by the sight that he’s grown used to associating with you. 

Your phone at eye-level; its camera, trained on him. 

“Yah.” His high-pitched bid to feign annoyance is a futile one. Everybody knows that Jeonghan could never be truly irked by you, no matter how masterfully you pushed his buttons sometimes. 

After clicking away for a couple more minutes, you finally lower your phone. 

There you are. 

Jeonghan swears he’s not a sap, not what those people call ‘simps’. But something about your smile always makes him a little weak in the knees, makes him want to be The Best Boyfriend In The World, bar none. 

He gestures for you to come closer. Once you’re within reach, Jeonghan is already wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you in.

“Don’t do that,” you snipe as he brings you into his chest. “We’re in public!”

Jeonghan can’t hide the way his eyes roll. “I don’t care. This isn’t public. It’s the parking lot of your apartment building,” he says dryly. 

“Still public.” 

“Still don’t care.” 

You go to shove at Jeonghan’s chest. He responds by tightening his hold on you, a sound of protest rising from the back of his throat. 

“C’mon, just a minute.” He buries his face in the top of your head, breathing in the soothing scent of your shampoo. It makes something in his chest flutter. “I’ll let you go, just— give me a minute, sweetheart.” 

He can sense that your acquiescence is begrudging, but he takes it nonetheless. A win is a win, he thinks smugly as he takes the opportunity to hug you a little tighter. 

It’s been three months since you finally agreed to try dating Jeonghan, though you had insisted that it be kept on the down low. Something about decorum, discretion. Workplace violations? Jeonghan doesn’t really remember; he had been a little too excited at the prospect of finally being yours that he wouldn’t have minded any condition in the world. 

The past weeks have unironically been some of the best in Jeonghan’s life, though there were probably some things he could do without. 

“It’s my day off, you know,” he mumbles into your hair, “which means it should also be your day off.” 

You giggle, and the force of it has your shoulders slightly shaking against Jeonghan’s chest. 

This is how he knows he loves you: Your laughter always felt like a small victory. Even before, he’d crack jokes in staff meetings and his eyes would immediately go to gauge your reaction.  

He liked making you laugh. He liked being the reason behind your smiles. And, God, did he like you. 

“Let me think about it.” There’s a hint of teasing in your voice, followed by a little ‘hmmm’ of faux thoughtfulness. 

He’s about to bite back at you when he feels your hand at his hip, somewhat leaning into his embrace, and he instead channels his energy into holding back a dreamy sigh. You go on, “No, I don’t think so. Go pose by the wall for another picture.” 

Jeonghan leans back a bit, just enough so that you can see his furrowed eyebrows as he whines, “But I’m Daesang winner Yoon Jeonghan!”

The title is a new one. Five days recent, in fact, and Jeonghan is hoping it will cut him some slack. 

“Okay, Daesang winner Yoon Jeonghan,” you say without missing a beat. “Go pose by the wall.” 

Jeonghan peels himself away from you with a grumble. He knows he’s acting a bit like an overgrown child— stomping as he walks, pouting when he leans— but he trusts that you’ll find it endearing. 

You pull out your phone’s camera app. Jeonghan is ready to frown the entire way through, maybe sass you that you only told him to pose by the wall but you didn’t say how he should look. 

But then, instead of “One, two, three…”, you call out something else entirely. 

“I love you, Daesang winner Yoon Jeonghan!”

He can’t help it. 

He laughs, and you click away.

jeonghaniyoo_n ♫ Jesse McCartney - Beautiful Soul

jeonghaniyoo_n hang up the telephone and just be here with me Liked by pledis_boos, vernonline, and 1,932,049 others View all 2,109 comments

One pro of dating your social media manager, Jeonghan would argue, is all the ‘vacations’ that the two of you can go on. You’re there for every tour stop, every concert, and Jeonghan absolutely revels in the hour or two he can steal away with you. 

If only he could get you to stop working. 

He knows that you’re technically on the clock more often than not. Managing an idol’s social media presence was no small feat, and your entire shtick was about making Jeonghan look as desirable as possible on SNS. You’ve been doing a terrific job so far, if his steady rise in followers was anything to go by. 

Still. Jeonghan has been attempting to give you the cold shoulder for the past 15 minutes. Attempting, because you don’t even seem to notice that he’s gone quiet— too busy on your phone to pay him any heed. 

He shoves his hands into his pockets and clears his throat. He doesn’t even have to glance at your screen; he knows you’re probably on Lightroom, fine tuning the press photos of him from earlier this morning. 

At the twenty-minute mark, Jeonghan finally huffs, “I’m ignoring you.” 

“Hm?” you say distractedly, and he resist the urge to chuck your phone into the nearby lake. 

“I said,” he repeats. “I’m ignoring you.” 

You glance up at him, unamused. “You are literally talking to me,” you note. 

“Well, I was ignoring you before that.” 

“Were you?” 

“Yes. You didn’t notice, so I thought I’d inform you.” 

The beleaguered sigh you let out is not a new thing. Jeonghan has been on the receiving end of your exasperation for as long as he’s known you. 

At least there’s a hint of guilt on your expression as you tuck away your phone. “Sorry,” you mumble. “Everybody’s posting follower ranking listicles since it’s the end of the year. I wanted to see where we were placing.” 

Jeonghan is supposed to be sulking, but that small word— we— has him fighting down a smile. It’s his account, his digital footprint, but you’re the mastermind. You’re the one behind the man, the myth, the legend. 

He’s down so bad for you that it’s not even funny anymore. 

“And?” he prods, his earlier chagrin smoothed out into something that sounds a lot more like resigned affection. “How’s it looking?” 

The frustration that takes over your expression makes Jeonghan want to coo. It’s nothing short of a miracle that he manages to hold himself back. 

“We still haven’t beat out Choi Soobin.” You frown like the other idol has personally wronged you by having a higher follower count. “His boyfriend material photos are too damn good.” 

“His what?”

You whip out your phone. Jeonghan watches with growing incredulity as you pull up Instagram, and he’s less than pleased that user page.soobin is already one of your more recently searched accounts. 

When you shove your phone underneath Jeonghan’s nose, he’s treated to the sight of Soobin’s feed. “Boyfriend material photos,” you double down, like having a visual might somehow explain things away. 

Jeonghan snatches your phone from you. “I heard you the first time,” he says irritably. “But what does it mean?” 

“It means that he looks like somebody’s boyfriend,” you shoot back. 

Oh, Jeonghan does not like that. 

He doesn’t care if it’s just a term for a type of photo. The thought of you perceiving anyone else as ‘boyfriend material’ makes a muscle in his jaw tick. 

“Do you think,” he says coolly, keeping his eyes trained on your screen, “he looks like ‘boyfriend material’?” 

“I mean, yeah—” 

You’ve barely gotten to the end of your sentence before Jeonghan is handing you back your phone. “Where are you going?” you call out as he marches a couple of paces away. 

He looks equal part determined and peeved when he turns to face you. You have your eyebrows arched upward, but he’s more focused on making sure his good side is angled towards you. 

“Get some photos of your actual boyfriend,” he grumbles.

jeonghaniyoo_n ♫ ZILD - Lia

jeonghaniyoo_n we put the world away Liked by xuminghao_o, min9yu_k, and 1,000,289 others View all 2,109 comments

The day you tell Jeonghan about your plans of resigning, his first thought is Well, that was good while it lasted.

His attempt at being unaffected is a shaky one. You can tell by the way he holds his paper cup just a little too tightly, the way he keeps smoothing out invisible wrinkles on his coat. His poorly concealed distress makes your expression soften, which is somehow worse.

He didn’t want a civil breakup. He’d much rather go out kicking and screaming than have something amicable.

And he most especially didn’t want to be broken up with in some random café in Tokyo. He has half a mind to ask why you couldn’t have waited until the two of you were back home. 

Jeonghan swallows hard, like it might somehow help him swallow the panic simmering in the pit of his stomach. 

“Good for you,” he finally manages to respond. “You’re overworked here, anyway.” 

“That’s not the reason why I’m leaving.” 

Jeonghan hates how calm you look. The two of you had watched— and judged— one too many dramas, and so he’d imagined a breakup with you would be something like that. A rain-soaked street, choice words that neither of you could take back. 

Not you stirring sugar into your coffee like this is not a relationship-defining conversation. 

When Jeonghan doesn’t respond, you continue. Your voice goes a touch softer, and he’s struck with the fear that you’re trying to let him down gently. 

“I’m resigning because of you, Hannie.” That nickname— the one that once felt like a Daesang in its own right, when you first bestowed it on him— now makes Jeonghan’s heart feel like lead. 

“Because of me,” he repeats. 

His mouth is dry. His hands are clammy. He’s thirty seconds away from getting on his knees and begging you to stay, the rest of the café’s patrons be damned. 

Your next words are spoken like an unshakable truth. “Because I love you.” 

You— 

The look on Jeonghan’s face must be priceless; you start to laugh, and the sound of it eases some of Jeonghan’s fraying nerves. 

“I love you, and I want to be with you. Properly.” Your lips purse for a moment. “Well, as properly as being with an idol will allow, anyway. At least I won’t have to worry about getting called in by HR if I’m working someplace else.” 

Workplace violations. Right. That had been a thing. 

All the emotions hit Jeonghan like a truck. Relief (that you’re not breaking up with him), then affection (that you’re willing to do this for him), then guilt (that you’re willing to do this for him). 

He reaches across the table to place his hand on top of yours. Your eyes instinctively glance around your surroundings, checking to see if anyone is looking your way. Jeonghan tugs at your hand and shakes his head. Focus on me, he’s wordlessly saying, and for once, you do. 

“I love you, too. More than you know,” he says. “But I don’t want you to throw away your career for me. Who’s to say you won’t resent me down the line because of it? I— I couldn’t live with myself, sweetheart.” 

You squeeze Jeonghan’s hand reassuringly. “I’m not throwing anything away. I’m just compromising.” 

“I don’t want you to have to compromise anything for me.” 

“Compromise is part of a grownup relationship, Hannie. It’s a good compromise.” 

He must not look convinced, because you take things a step further. Instead of just clasping his hand in yours, you move to intertwine your fingers. There’s some comfort in the familiar feeling of your fingers in between the spaces of his. 

“Nothing is being thrown away,” you repeat, your tone brooking no argument. “I will not hate you tomorrow because of this.” 

Here’s the thing: Jeonghan trusts you implicitly, and not only with his SNS passwords. He trusts your no-nonsense attitude, your unshakeable feelings, your typically sound judgement. 

He wants to trust you now. He wants to believe so, so badly that there is something on the other side for the two of you, and that something would be exactly what the two of you deserve. 

He tongues the inside of his cheek as he considers your words. When he speaks, his voice is a lot smaller than he intends. 

“What about the day after tomorrow?” 

The initial confusion that flits over your expression is replaced by that grin he adores. 

“I’ll still love you the day after tomorrow,” you promise. 

He presses, “And the week after that?” 

“The week after that, too.” 

“What about the month after?” 

“I’ll do you one better— the year after, too.” 

You’re laughing, laughing in the way that he’s always tried to make you laugh, and it’s all Jeonghan needs to trust that things are going to be okay.

jeonghaniyoo_n ♫ Pritam, Mohit Chauhan, Irshad Kamil - Tum Se Hi

jeonghaniyoo_n my getaway, my favorite place Liked by ho5hi_kwon, everyone_woo, and 2,000,001 others View all 2,109 comments

Click. Click. Click. 

“What are you doing?” 

“What,” Jeonghan huffs, “A guy can’t take photos of his girlfriend?”

You throw a pillow in Jeonghan’s direction, though your terrible aim has it soaring right over his head. 

Ever since you left his company, Jeonghan has enjoyed an array of benefits that come with dating someone who is not your co-worker. The biggest of which happened to be all the time he’s now free to spend with you, most of which he’s happy to kill in his apartment. 

He’s still a little bit petulant about your new job, though, and he likes to voice it out as often as he can. 

“I bet Soobin has tons of photos of you,” he grumbles.

You pretend not to hear him. Jeonghan tries again. 

From the foot of the bed, Jeonghan begins to crawl over your legs. Your annoyed tsk goes ignored as he takes your laptop and sets it aside, dragging you away from your social media planning for page.soobin.

“He better not fall in love with you,” Jeonghan warns.

You let out a low hiss before swatting at your boyfriend, trying to get him off of you. He doesn’t budge, instead caging you in with his arms on either side of you. 

When he goes to kiss you, it bears none of the threatening front that he’s trying to put up. It’s a slow, sweet thing. A glimmer lighting up his cotton sheets. 

He only pulls away when he can no longer physically manage to keep kissing you. There’s the beginning of a grin on his face as his breaths come out in short pants, as his eyes stay closed. He’s savoring the moment, trying to remind himself how damn lucky he is even if the cost involves running his own SNS accounts henceforth. 

“I’ll give you your laptop back,” he murmurs, satisfied to have had an ounce of you.

But then you’re laughing, your fingers threading through his hair. You tug Jeonghan back down despite the fact that you’re just as breathless, and his lips curl into a full-on smile when they meet yours. 

He’d been happy with an ounce, yes, but who is he to complain when you give him the whole damn lot? 

jeonghaniyoo_n ♫ 5 Seconds of Summer - Disconnected

jeonghaniyoo_n Do not disturb. 📵 - YJH Liked by sound_of_coups, joshua_acoustic, and 3,392,034 others View all 30,109 comments

diamonddaze01 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ylangelegy just fell to my knees 💔 happy for you, king yourusername :-)

[morganakang444]

𝑑𝘰𝑛‘𝘵 ℎ𝑎𝘵𝑒 𝘵ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑒𝑟 || 𝑙𝑒𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑢𝑛𝑔 (𝑝𝘵 2) ౨ৎ

꒰ ꒱ྀི lee heeseung x fem!reader

☆゙ ↳ main masterlist

☆゙ ↳ prev | next

☆゙ ↳ synopsis: you don‘t want me? fine. the two of us can play that game.

the heartthrob of the campus had finally set his eyes on y/n. she was going to be his next victim, to fall for him and assume she can fix him moments before she finds herself ghosted. but y/n knew all too well…too bad she only captures heeseung‘s heart after beating him at his own game. that’s when she learns: don’t hate the player. hate the game.

☆゙ ↳ wc: 3828

☆゙ ↳ genre/warnings: a lil smutty again (y/n touches herself lol), cursing, maybe a bit rushed (?), y/n is still a virgin and heeseung is turning into a simp lwk, drinking, partying, mentions of sex, if i missed anything lmk!!

☆゙ ↳ an: i‘m super nervous to post this because i‘m rlly hoping it lives up to part one!! (i am scared that is my peak if u can‘t tell.) i‘ve had most of this written already so this is why it came so fast. part three will be taking a little while lol also i had to mention the nostalgic jackson wang party!!

in the car, karina basically dragged y/n into the passenger seat, a concerned look on her face. "are you okay?? hee didn’t give me any time to ask what happ—"

y/n waved her hand, signaling karina to stop talking. "i‘m fine. i was just getting harassed by some guy and heeseung helped me out." she placed her hand down, a smirk forming on y/n‘s face. "but your plan worked quicker than i thought it would—heeseung admitted to wanting me. and it was a real, raw, just—genuine thing that came from his mouth." y/n chuckled. "pretty soon i‘ll have to leave him hanging." she smiled, satisfied.

karina‘s mouth was agape in disbelief, blinking at y/n‘s words. "this fast? i knew playing hard to get was the best shot," karina snickered, nudging y/n‘s shoulder before starting up her car.

and as they started driving y/n remembered who karina was with before coming here; yunjin.

"how‘s it going with yunjin?" y/n noticed karina‘s grip on the steering wheel tighten.

"i don’t even know if there is anything going on with yunnie. we‘re together and we fuck and talk or go to sleep a little together before one of us has to leave." she frowns.

"so…a situationship with your ex, hm?" y/n asks sympathetically.

karina only nods. "but i‘ll be over it soon. i‘ll meet another cute girl or maybe a nice, manly guy and i‘ll probably forget all about her."

but y/n knew karina too well—she could never forget about her girlfriend since junior year of high school. she placed her manicured hand on karina’s round shoulder.

"you love her, huh?"

karina gave y/n a saddened smile. "i think you know that answer…"

"let’s go shopping and get your mind off this, hm? we can go home after and order takeout and watch a movie, yeah?"

karina nods, grinning appreciatively at y/n.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

sitting in their small dorm room, y/n‘s ipad was setup against a pillow on karina‘s bed. with blankets and pillows under them, on them, and all around them, karina and y/n sat against y/n‘s bed, a low, long, tv tray over their laps, snacks and food all over it, the girls picking up and eating whatever like it was a buffet—sushi, cheeseburger sliders, jellies, puddings, fried rice, mac n cheese, sodas, and pizza rolls on plates in front of them as their eyes were glued to '10 things i hate about you' playing on the tiny screen in front of them.

y/n was slurping down a jello cup when karina‘s phone pinged. she licked burger grease off her fingers before she wiped it on her old, oversized pajama shirt and picked up her phone.

"it‘s sunoo…he wants to know if you and i wanna come to jackson wang‘s party tomorrow night." karina says as she reads sunoo‘s message.

y/n thinks. "isn’t jackson the president of the frat he‘s in? is it going to be in the frat house?" she blinks.

karina nods. "yeah, it will be. i know you don’t like parties so we d—"

"let’s go." y/n smiles. "i never go out. and i don’t want you to stay home because of me."

karina raises a surprised brow. "you sure?"

y/n nods, sounding assured of her decision. "yeah. i wanna."

"okay, i‘ll tell sunoo.." karina smirks, happy her best friend was finally expanding her horizons.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

all through that next day, y/n rushed through her classes, not paying much attention to anything at all—except for the wonders filling her mind about her first real party.

it was ridiculous—y/n felt like a high schooler all over again.

however, that whole day y/n hadn’t bumped into heeseung once. she felt a strange sense of disappointment swell up inside of her…but she didn’t know why. and as she shook that feeling off as her last class of the day ended, she darted home to get ready with karina tonight.

"pink…pink…or…pink! 'kay…" karina sighed, helping y/n choose an outfit for later tonight.

"what‘s wrong with pink, hm?" y/n teased, sitting on the edge of her bed.

"pink isn’t sexy…" karina pulls out a silk, baby pink mini dress with a thin, white trim around the end and around the v-neck cleavage. she narrowed her eyes, analyzing the article of clothing deeply.

"this can make due…" she speaks, fingers running the material of the slit on the dress intently.

"with what?" y/n tilts her head.

"those little white heels you have—the kitten heels that are open toed. anddd…" karina trails off, grabbing y/n‘s little jewelry holder hanging in her closet. "these little pearl earrings, and your thin little pearl necklace." karina holds up a matching set of tiny dangly pearl earrings and a necklace. she lays it out on y/n‘s bed, shoes going underneath on the floor.

"and we‘ll curl the ends of your hair…and keep the makeup light, but add some glitter, hm?" karina came close to y/n, touching all over her hair, fingers running through and eyes scanning over the girl‘s soft locks.

"yes ma‘am." y/n salutes with a playful smirk before standing up. karina gives y/n‘s ass a little smack, earning a small squeal from the girl who was soon laughing.

"now go shower, you stink." karina teased.

y/n playfully scoffed before grabbing her stuff and going to the dorm showers.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

and even in the shower, y/n could only think of all the fun she was about to have as she stood under the warm water, feeling the warmness cascade down her body.

all the possibilities ran through her head—who would she dance with? would she get black out drunk and make out with someone? what if she slept with someone and lost her v card at a frat party?

y/n sighed, her mind trailing off to what it‘d feel like to finally have sex for the first time. how it‘d feel to have a man hold her close and slide in and out of her tight heat as he moaned her name with each thrust. how a man would leave a trail of hickeys down her neck and breasts as he fingered her, curling his digits inside of her warm, wet pussy, hitting the sweet spot inside of her that made her see stars.

y/n sighed in frustration, leaning her head back against the cold shower tile wall, one of the rare moments of arousal taking over her system, flowing through her veins so sweetly, making her pussy start to drip.

swallowing in defeat, y/n‘s hand traveled down, inching closer and closer to her core, the soft pads of her fingers finding her aching clit, rubbing it in tight little circles, her mouth forming an 'o' shape as her back arched off the tile wall in pleasure. y/n‘s eyes fluttered shut as small sighs left her lips, her fingers moving in a faster rhythm, her mind swarmed with thoughts of being fucked…the feeling of a hand wrapped around her throat as she was pounded into—y/n was never thinking of a specific person, to be honest. in her imagination, the man fucking her didn’t exactly have a face, (but did have a banging bod.) until her hands were moving faster and rougher over her clit, rubbing the swollen nub as she got closer and closer to her peak, her breathy moans echoing off the shower walls…and in her mind there was finally a face. one so unexpected she suddenly pulled back her hand, ripping her orgasm away from herself as her eyes flew open in shock.

why the fuck did lee heeseung‘s face appear in her mind??

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

after her shower, y/n could only stare into her own eyes through the bathroom mirror, a mix of disgust and confusion welling up inside of her.

she combed her wet hair before putting it up in a clawclip, slipping her white towel off her freshly washed and shaved body. she sighed, shuffling her playlist as she applied her skincare to her baby soft face.

all she could think about as she rubbed in her expensive serums and moisturisers was why? why did she have to think about heeseung of all people?

she wasn’t even attracted to him like that—but all y/n could do was brush it off as the fact that it was a mere flashback to the night two weeks ago that left heeseung hanging. she wouldn‘t cave in now. but heeseung was right about one thing.

y/n‘s hands were not doing the job right.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

"y/n! are you ready?" karina called from right outside their shared dorm room, coming back from the bathroom down the hall.

"yeah…" y/n reluctantly spoke, not too sure if she liked her appearance or not. she was standing in front of her full length mirror propped against her bed, looking at her body from all angles.

karina slowly walked inside, a dramatic gasp leaving her lips as she covered her mouth, staring at y/n.

"you look so hot, y/nnie!!" she squealed, coming up behind her best friend, hugging her from behind and resting her chin on the crook of y/n‘s smooth shoulder.

"you‘re so beautiful." karina smiles affectionately, her tiny purple dress touching y/n‘s. and y/n did look beautiful. her curves were perfectly accentuated by her little pink dress, her soft shoulders on full display thanks to the thin spaghetti straps. her white kitten heels showed off her freshly painted pink toenails, her moisturised skin glowing naturally.

y/n smiled softly, locking eyes with karina. "you really think so?"

karina nods. "the most."

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

it was a short drive to the s.a.e frat house which was already crowded by 11pm. y/n nervously stepped out of karina‘s car, a shaky sigh exiting her glossed lips. taking note of y/n‘s nervousness, karina reached her hand out and took y/n‘s, giving her a reassuring squeeze and a matching smile.

"don’t be scared. this‘ll be fun!" karina pulled y/n inside the huge house, the blaring music growing louder once they stepped closer and closer inside.

upon entry in the dimly lit house, it seemed like everyone from uni was there. the only lighting was shitty leds that could barely illuminate anything, and there were people making out or grinding on each other to the music in every corner of at least four rooms. y/n adverted her gaze, not wanting to feel like she was watching a live action porno about to unfold.

following karina through the crowd, y/n kept her head low, not exactly wanting to draw any attention to herself. this wasn’t really the first party moment she was imagining.

"wanna take a shot?" karina asks, now in the kitchen where the liquor was stored. y/n shakes her head. "one of us has to drive." she laughs dryly, earning a shrug from her best friend. "and that will be you," karina says in a lively manner before downing a shot. she slammed the tiny glass down on the white counter, her face contorting into disgust and eyes squeezing shut.

"fuck, that’s strong…" karina exhales, her matte lips forming an 'o' shape. y/n could smell the alcohol on karina‘s breath, making y/n slightly nauseas.

karina opened her eyes, and looked around. just then, her dark brown eyes landed on a familiar figure with shoulder length red hair and a tiny black dress. karina could tell right away it was the love of her life, huh yunjin.

"there she is, y/n…" karina holds y/n‘s arm, making her look towards yunjin‘s direction, her slender, black polished finger pointed directly to the redhead.

"call her over," spoke y/n encouragingly, trying to calm down the dark haired girl.

"what if she doesn’t want to? what if she doesn’t want to see me in public? what if s—"

y/n rolled her eyes, cutting off karina‘s nervous string of rambles, hollering yunjin‘s name, making her look at the pair. karina shyly hid behind y/n as if the girl were her shield. and as y/n motioned for yunjin to come over, karina lightly smacked y/n‘s bare arm. "what are you doing?" karina whisper yelled, unaware her ex girlfriend was making her way over to them right now.

without a word, y/n dragged karina out from behind her frame. karina stumbled, practically getting shoved into yunjin.

"umm…hi…" karina shyly spoke, adverting eye contact in contrast to her confident ex who stood in front of her.

"oh don’t act like you don’t know me…" yunjin teased, sipping out of her red solo cup as she tucked a strand of karina‘s long, curled hair behind her earring plated ear.

"wanna hang with us? we‘ve both missed you. i know she‘s seen a lot of you lately," y/n started, touching karina‘s shoulder, "but i haven’t." she playfully pouted.

yunjin smirks, softly chuckling.

"yeah, i don’t have anyone else to see." she came closer to karina, a look of enjoyment on her face at making the younger girl nervous.

y/n smiled at karina, knowing her little scheme has worked.

karina grabbed another shot, downing it quickly to subdue her nerves.

"um…wanna dance?" karina asks, her gaze falling on and off of yunjin.

"sure. i‘m always down to dance with you, rina." yunjin grabbed karina‘s hand. "you coming y/n?"

y/n shook her head. "i‘m okay, i‘ll join later—you two should get your time alone."

and with that, yunjin took karina to some other room, leaving y/n alone in the kitchen.

y/n made her rounds, talked to some people from her classes and danced a little with some guy…but she grew bored and craved time with her best friend.

"karina!" y/n called out, walking around the party. moving past people, mumbling 'sorry' and 'excuse me' a few times, her pale eyes darted around, in search for karina or at least yunjin.

but to no avail, y/n grew worried once she reached upstairs and walked in every bedroom, six out of nine containing people having sex—and karina nor yunjin were in none of them.

with an exasperated sigh, y/n pulled out her phone, looking for someone—anyone to call. and her eyes fell on one contact. heeseung.

y/n could call anyone else—annie from history class was here, her friend robin, even joshua would have come to help her. but for some reason, she really wanted to call heeseung…

pressing the contact name, she hit the call option, sighing shakily as she put her phone up to her ear, leaning up against an upstairs wall.

"hello?" y/n heard heeseung‘s voice through the line after a few rings, and faint music in the back. the same music as the party—was he here? probably. everyone else was.

"heeseung? it’s y/n…i need you…" she said with a defeated tone, laced with desperation.

"ahh, finally come to your senses, huh? but i wanna take you out first. i don’t want you to be just a hook u—"

"no, heeseung! not like that!" y/n placed her hand on her head, growing irritated. "i lost karina and yunjin. i‘m upstairs…can you help me out?"

heeseung chuckled. "on my way."

y/n hung up, placing her hands on her face as she crouched against a wall, waiting for her knight and shining armor.

within a few minutes, a hand tapped y/n‘s shoulder, and she looked up to see the person she needed most right now. she flashed a smile of relief, taking heeseung‘s extended hand and pulled herself up.

"thank you, heeseung…" she mumbled, fixing her dress.

heeseung‘s eyes trailed y/n‘s figure up and down…but not with the usual lust in his heart and eyes like he felt with other girls. there was warmth spreading through him like a flower slowly blossoming. something more of affection coursed through his veins. he could only think of her as beautiful—alluring, even instead of sexy. in this moment he would rather have held her in his arms and stroked her hair as she fell asleep instead of fucking her. and that was unusual for him.

"yeah, yeah…come on. i‘ll take you home. you sober?"

y/n nodded. "i was supposed to take the girls home."

heeseung led the girl downstairs and past the crowd, out to his car.

"i‘m glad you chose to call me…" he smiles, opening the passenger door for y/n.

y/n looked down bashfully as she got in, waiting for heeseung to get in the driver‘s seat before replying.

"i guess i figured i could count on you." she replied, putting on her seatbelt.

heeseung looked at y/n affectionately. "that means a lot to hear, you know."

and in that moment of vulnerability, both of them could have seen the truth hidden behind their eyes. the deep meaning sodden with verity. even if neither of them wanted to admit it.

but y/n only looked away. she nodded slowly, biting the inside of her lip to hold back a small smile that was about to form on her lips.

heeseung could only smirk a bit at her shy reaction, not used to her being such a timid little thing.

and with that he drove, both of his hands on the wheel. glancing towards y/n, he saw her delicate hand resting on the console between them, her attention looking out the window towards the night lit sky, and the city around them illuminated by a cascade of lights.

but heeseung was bold. when he looked at y/n, he no longer saw some girl he was chasing. he no longer saw a target to be shot at and claimed. but he didn‘t know why. he didn‘t know what this feeling he held for her exactly was…love? a twisted type of lust?

he carefully brushed his big hand against her own, giving her a chance to pull away if she didn’t want this. when she didn’t, heeseung intertwined his fingers with hers, caressing her knuckle with his thumb.

heeseung didn‘t know why he wanted to hold y/n‘s hand. he could only tell himself this was the next step to getting y/n in his bed. but as heeseung‘s gaze flickered over to the h/c girl beside him, he couldn’t shake the feeling he wanted more than a quick fuck with her. in this moment, he would rather stay like this with her, her tinier hand enveloped in his warm one, her tired frame gazing out the window towards the stars in front of them.

but heeseung could never admit to real feelings for a woman. especially one who left him so humiliated those couple of weeks ago in his dorm room.

the rest of the car ride was of pure silence—the comfortable one, though. the feeling of heeseung‘s calloused thumb contrasting y/n‘s smooth hand set aside her nerves until they got back to her dorm.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

"you know…i meant what i said over the phone.." heeseung said as the pair approached y/n‘s dorm room, looking down towards his feet before his gaze met y/n‘s.

y/n leaned against her dormitory door, her eyes squinting slightly in confusion. "what did you say..?"

heeseung smirked slightly, leaning his arm against the metal doorframe, towering over y/n. "when i said i wanted to take you out." his smirk turned into a smile of tenderness, letting her feel just how much he meant it.

"oh really?" y/n teased. "i thought you didn’t do dating.." she licked her lips, holding back a satisfied smile.

"nah..i don’t. but there’s something about you that makes me want to." heeseung tucked a strand of hair behind y/n‘s ear. "and i‘d like to figure out why.."

"okay." y/n shrugged. "then take me out. surprise me." she smiled a bit, leaning forward.

heeseung‘s hand traveled up to cup y/n‘s soft, unblemished cheek as he nodded, running the pad of his thumb over her skin.

"whatever you want, my girl.." his words were soft, and his eyes looked around y/n‘s face, his head coming closer to hers. "can..can i.." his words trailed off, but the intention was hung in the air.

y/n didn’t answer, instead she pressed her fingers to the boy‘s lips as he leaned in, biting her lip slightly, her smirk teasing as ever. as much as she was starting to like heeseung, as much as she would love to brush her lips against his in a fiery blaze if passion, she didn‘t. she needed to stay true to herself and her bet with karina. where was the fun in giving in now?

"nuh uh uh…" y/n taunted, tapping his lips with her manicured finger in rhythm with her coos. "i don’t kiss before a first date, heeseung." y/n licked her glossed lips, looking heeseung up and down in satisfaction, knowing she had him right where she wanted him as he let out a frustrated sigh onto her fingers.

"you‘re not slick if you think taking me on a date will help you get into my pants…" y/n tutted, crossing her arms.

heeseung only snickered, leaning slightly back from y/n.

"fine. i‘ll take you out, and i won’t fuck you. how about that? i‘ll show you just how serious i am okay?" heeseung smiled almost cockily, hiding the desperation behind his voice, wanting her to accept his plea.

y/n bit her lip ever so slightly, looking heeseung up and down provokingly. she shrugged. "sure. i‘ll go out with you." she spoke nonchalantly, a small smile of pride forming on her face as heeseung‘s ego deflated, and he let out a small "yes!" whisper, quickly clearing his throat and regaining his composure. "uh, okay, yeah. cool. can’t wait to see you y/n…" heeseung grinned. "how does this saturday sound?" heeseung swallowed, revealing the anticipation building up inside of him.

"sounds perfect," said y/n confidently, nudging heeseung away from her.

"now if you excuse me, i’m sleepy." y/n yawned, grabbing her keys from her mini purse and starting to unlock her door. "goodnight, heeseung…" she smiled sleepily.

"goodnight, pretty girl.." heeseung whispered. "i‘ll call you tomorrow." he planted a chaste kiss to y/n‘s smooth unblemished cheek before sauntering off down the hall.

as y/n entered her dorm and got herself unready as she shuffled her main playlist. she could only sigh every so often, wondering what heeseung’s true intent behind this date was. she couldn’t figure out why it mattered so much to her if she was being played right back—was it her ego being too big, not wanting to be toyed with the same way she was toying him? or was it because she thought she was seeing through some sort of act with his excitement and affection. but the deeper y/n thought about it, she didn’t sense any deception on heeseung‘s end. everything about him was so…genuine in a sense. but y/n has dealt with boys like this in the past, who thought they could hit and quit her—and when she rejected their advances she was met with a blocked number the next morning. however the difference between those boys in high school and lee heeseung is that he doesn’t give up that easy.

and for y/n, the real game was just about to start.

｡𖦹°‧ taglist:

@tsukikourito

@lannadray

@mheretoreadff

@yohanabanana

@cloud-lyy

@heeheelee

@girlwholovekpop

@invsomnixa1

(if ur tags are not working pls lmk ᝰ.ᐟ)

[super-ion]

The Engineer

Part 3

(Part 1 | Part 2)

I had jacked in. Unauthorized. Unbidden.

When I finally disconnected from Morrigan's tender embrace, the reality of my situation had come slamming into me.

I had used my access to a multi billion dollar war machine for my own personal ends. I had risked my job, my career, my fucking life maybe... and for what? A bad dream?

I returned to my quarters, mechanically showered and ate breakfast and reported to my station, all but certain that security would arrive at any minute to quietly escort me out of the facility to a hole somewhere no one would ever see me again.

But they never came.

Despite the anomalous access logs, they never came.

Burning the midnight oil? one of the techs had asked jokingly.

Fuck.

They all fucking knew I had been there, but it never crossed any of their minds what I was really doing.

Once that initial panic abated, a whole new kind of terror set in.

Command might be fooled. Security and the techs might be fooled. But there's one person who knows. There's one other person who has the kind of access to Morrigan that I do.

Fuck fuck fuck.

No. She doesn't have the same access I do. I'm the fucking interloper here. It's her fucking machine. She has deeper access than I ever could. Morrigan was tailor made for her pilot. All the while, the pilot was broken and remade to forge connections I could only ever dream of. They're two halves of a whole. They can't hide anything from each other even if they wanted to.

It takes three days before the moment I have been dreading finally crystallizes into sharp reality.

I sit alone in a corner of the cafeteria, as I always do. I poke listlessly at something that I think is supposed to be fruit cocktail. I have read the same paragraph on my datapad three times already. I have just started on my fourth attempt when a figure slides onto the bench across from me.

I know exactly who it is before I glance halfway up to see the long slender fingers, one hand tapping restlessly, the other clenching a spoon as she surveys the mess of nutrient gel that they serve pilots. The sleeves of her sweatshirt are rolled up, revealing the skinsuit over skeletal arms.

I can't bring myself to do more than that quick glance at her hands.

I remember those piercing ice blue eyes… jesus fuck, it's only been three weeks since that moment we passed in the access corridor, when those eyes had pinned me in place.

I imagine those eyes boring into me now.

I know she's been to see Morrigan. The two of them had a training sim yesterday. They have another one in a couple of hours.

Her spoon scrapes against the cheap plastic of the bowl. The nutrient paste makes a sickening wet sound as it rises.

I am frozen in place. I can't leave. I can't read my datapad. I can't even pretend to eat any more.

The thing they never reveal in the propaganda vids is just how frail pilots are. The training, the conditioning, the hours and hours jacked into the machine being pumped full of a cocktail of artificial stress and reward hormones, they all ravage the body. The figure seated across from me can't be more than half my weight. In a stand up fight, I could probably break her in half.

I'm fucking terrified of her. I can barely breath as she takes another spoonful of gel.

The skin around the ports on my rig itch. Like my rig itself knows how inadequate it is in comparison to hers.

The spoon comes to rest on the tray alongside her bowl. She says nothing. Even in silence, she's a creature of action, unable to remain still. Her leg bounces just slightly. Her fingers tap out a complicated rhythm.

I force myself to look up, to meet her gaze.

The eyes are sharp. Sharper and clearer than I remembered when they wheeled her past me. But it is that same intensity that I remember.

She isn't smiling. She isn't frowning either. Her expression isn't doing much of anything, like she's forgotten how to express like a human being. Beneath the restless energy, she looks tired, all sunken cheeks and shadowed eyes, with a sickly pallor to her skin.

She looks like a pilot. If I hadn't broken, if I hadn't washed out, it is what I would have looked like.

An image flashes through my mind unbidden. I see us swapped. Me: hard, broken, tired. Her: soft, muscular, healthy… lonely.

The feeling washes over me, that horrible familiar, desperate loneliness.

She twitches, head cocking slightly as she sees something in my expression.

Oh… oh fuck.

She knows.

I had been so fucking scared of being caught out that I never considered how much had actually been revealed, how much of my aching soul left its mark in that cockpit like so many greasy fingerprints.

I have dreamed Morrigan's dreams. I have caught myself humming snatches of her song.

Neural bleed.

It always comes back to fucking neural bleed. Limited as my rig is, Morrigan has been in my head just as I have been in hers… and Morrigan is half of a whole.

The woman sitting across from me doesn't just recognize my face, she has seen the very core of me.

I let out a ragged breath that I hadn't realized I had been holding.

When she finally does speak, her voice is husky murmur, hoarse from disuse.

“We should talk,” she says.

I nod weakly.

[l-in-the-light]

"I'm sure he's got nothing to do with me!" says Luffy and I was waiting for him to say it. For him to hear all of this Nika lore and declare that, nope, I don't care, I'm not Nika, I'm not a liberator. It's just such a Luffy thing to do. But I know many fans actually will be shocked with Luffy's answer here or will just dismiss it. I have seen many opinions before that Luffy was always a liberator by choice, so becoming Nika is just natural course of events for him and he will have no problem embracing his role in the bigger scheme of things. Some even complained they hate that Luffy is Nika because they don't want Luffy to be the "fated hero" but instead a "from nobody to the king of the world" trope. But nope! Luffy just noped all of this himself.

Luffy is not a liberator and he's not an altruistic hero, he doesn't go from island to island aiming to save people, and if you think he wanted to, then please remember Fishmen Island and how unhappy he was with the idea of being a hero:

And now if you think Luffy changed since then because Dressrosa happened, then please remember what he asked of Momonosuke in Wano:

Yep, that's right. Luffy still *doesn't have any interest* in becoming a hero. If you think he's alright with that and changed his mind, then you're just not paying attention to him, sorry to say that. Luffy has been pretty consistent about this too and now he declared it yet again in Elbaf. It's the third time already.

You just think it's not a big deal because he so easily changed his mind in Fishmen Island, but it happened only because he had an actual reason to do that. Jimbei promised Luffy all the meat he wants. He gave him a *personal reason* to act like a hero, which is why Luffy agreed. And he did the same in Dressrosa. He wouldn't liberate that country if he didn't get attached first to Law and Rebecca (yes, in this order), and his crew to tontattas. They always do it for someone particular, for their friends. It's the same in Wano too, Luffy's constant motivation is Tama, Momo and Kinemon. He wants them to be happy, most of all, and he even says as much when he defeats Kaido: "I want a world where all of my friends can eat as much as they like".

There, he doesn't do it altruistically because he hates oppresion and villains who thrive on pain of common people and he can't stand seeing it. Yes, he probably thinks it's unfair, but he also grew up in Goa Kingdom, the very definition of unfair regime. He saves oppressed people only when they are his friends or has some other personal interest involved. He defeats the Marine base in Shells Town for Koby (and Zoro, later). He defeats Don Krieg so he can repay his food debt to Baratie. He defeats Arlong for Nami. He fights Wapol for Chopper (who saved Nami) and who he already considers his friend because of that. He fights for the Giants (Little Garden) and Vivi (Alabasta), Conis (Skypiea), Robin (Water 7 and Enies Lobby), Brook (Thriller Bark), Hachi (Sabaody) etc. Though, he does make friends rather easily, so usually it's not that big of a deal. But he isn't going out of his way to places he reads about in the newspapers that need to be liberated, he instead cares more for his own dream. He doesn't enter a certain island with the idea in mind that goes like "if I see some injustice here, I'm gonna bring this shit down". It's the other way around. He makes friends and realizes they're unhappy.

He wants them to be happy again and to live without regrets, and that's why he brings the shit down, whatever it is that makes people he cares about feel so unhappy. Because he thinks this is at least something he can do for his friends. Luffy doesn't think he can do a lot of things, he can't do much at all, but he can do one thing: beat up a guy when needed.

He knows how regret feels like ever since he believed Sabo died, he's not gonna sit there and do nothing next time something like this happens. That's why it's so important for him, to make sure his friends are happy. And that's why he beats up people and liberates countries. It's not for justice, he simply wants his friends to be happy.

But wait a moment, Luffy also wants freedom. Yes, he does. He wants to be the King of the Pirates, because for him it means to be free. And that's how he actually speaks about Nika as well:

He wants the freedom for himself. Isn't it funny that he thinks he already achieved it though?

And before you're disgusted by how selfish Luffy actually is, hear me out: Luffy is simply not a martyr. He won't die or sacrfice himself for the world to liberate it. He will instead die for the world if he thinks that will make his friends happy. Preferably though, he would want to survive and eat that meat with them, and be happy together.

Still, if you want him to be a liberator of a whole world it is actually possible, you just need to make it personal for Luffy, like I suggested. For example, put a person or multpile people who want to save/destroy the world (whichever option you fancy) on Luffy's crew. Luffy always cares for dreams of his crewmates and will always support them (because fullfilling their dreams will make them happy), so he would become a liberator if that helps them. But he would do it for them, not for the world.

Luffy is not a hero because he has a golden heart and a strong sense of justice. He's a hero when his friends are in danger instead, because instead of a golden heart, he simply has a big heart and makes friends wherever he goes. A martyr-like hero who sacrfices himself for people without caring for his own wellbeing is noble, but it's also not a healthy mentality, believe it or not. For starters, if you never care enough for yourself and are ready to throw your life away for a concept, what will happen with people who love you and care for you? Is it fair towards them to throw your life away without caring who you're leaving behind and how they will feel about it? Do you even care then for their feelings if your pursuit of greater good is more important to you? You can save the world and make people you love sad and unhappy, and like they don't even care anymore to live, because you were the one who made them happy and now you're gone. Did you save the world for them or destroyed it for them instead, as the result?

Luffy has his own interest in saving his friends too: so he's not alone again. Humans aren't selfless beings, but it doesn't automatically make us bad people either. And sometimes, while pursuing selfish things, we do something that appear to be extremely selfless. But at the bottom of it: we also do it for themselves, even if it kills us.

Tokyo Babylon taught me that every act is selfish, even if it appears like we do it for someone else: we simply want to feel better about ourselves then. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as we don't lose the sight of other people's feelings on our way. We can always share, after all, and that sharing is the bridge between the lone islands that people are.

Luffy, if he dies, will also say, just like Seishiro: "I didn't do it for you. I did everything by my own choice". For myself. Despite the fact it is also true he does it to make his friends happy. Being selfish and being selfless is like two sides of the same coin and both choices can end up actually hurting people. In the first case, because you care too much about yourself and too little about feelings of others, and in second case because you care too little about yourself and still too little about feelings of people that love and care for you. Can you spot the thing in common here?

[my-mind-mansion]

Alastor sleep aid/cuddles

My FIRST post!!

As you tossed and turned restlessly in your bed, you lost track of how long you’ve attempted to fall asleep. You rolled over to check the time. 4 am. Your mind was racing and your eyes were wide open. That embarrassing thing you did 5 years ago. That comeback you should’ve used in that argument. That thing your mother said when you were 12 that stuck with you forever. You groaned in frustration and sat up. What was the point of even trying to sleep now? I guess I can pull another all nighter.

As you attempted to get out of bed, you suddenly felt a familiar presence. “Alastor?” You asked aloud. You knew he was there; probably hiding in your closet or a dark corner. “Come out.” You chuckled. He clicked your lamp on so you could see him smiling at you. “Why are you still awake, my dear?” He asked softly.

You sighed and fell back onto your bed. “I couldn’t sleep.. AGAIN.” You expressed your frustration. He gave a little laugh before sitting down on the bed next to you. “Well, I bet I could help you fall asleep.” He said boldly, his usual confidence apparent. You laughed at him. “Appreciate the offer, but I don’t think so.” You said as you rolled over, facing the wall.

He raised an eyebrow. “Oh really?” As he reached for the radio on your nightstand, you rolled your eyes. He turned it down to the quietest it could go while still being heard. “I always find that my radio helps me fall asleep.” He said as the static of the old song played in the background. “Well I’m not you, and I won’t be able to sleep.” You scoffed as you rolled back over to face him. “We’ll just see about that.” His smile grew as he slid off his shoes.

You observed him quietly. What was he doing? He carefully placed his monocle on your nightstand. You’d never seen him without his old-timey accessory. Your eyes widened as he laid down next to you in bed. Is he gonna sleep in my room tonight??

He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest. You gasped. He’s being an asshole. He’s gotta be… but you didn’t care. You needed the comfort, and Alastor’s presence was most-definitely comforting if you were on his good side.

Your eyelids already started becoming heavy as he pulled the blanket over the both of you. Without hesitation, you wrapped your arms around him and rested your head on his chest. “Already getting comfortable I see.” He remarks, probably wearing a shit-eating grin. You didn’t care. You didn’t care that he was only doing this to prove you wrong. You were exhausted.

You melted in his arms. A man with his charisma was enough to break down all your walls. Deeeep breath. Peaceful sigh. Why were you having trouble sleeping again? You couldn’t remember. You rubbed your two feet together as your body became heavy. He was warm and his arms were wrapped around you like a python. The Radio Demon’s embrace was heavenly, as ironic as it sounded. It was the truth.

Since he considered you a friend, he made sure you felt safe and protected with him. He held you like you were something precious, like you were as fragile as a porcelain doll. He held you like you were important to him.

“Do you like having your hair played with?” He asked softly. “Mhm..” you cooed. He ran his clawed fingers through your hair and gently scratched your scalp. Heavenly. He hummed along to the song that was playing on the radio. You could feel the gentle vibration of his voice as your head was still resting on his chest.

The feeling of someone holding you was comforting, especially since Alastor has never acted like this with you before. You had to admit that your eyelids were getting too heavy to keep open. You sighed in annoyance. “You were right.” You admitted, half-lidded. “Oh? Was I now?” You could feel his ego spike as he spoke. You buried your face in his chest and groaned in irritation. He laughed. “Hey, don’t be like that. I’ll still make sure you rest well tonight.” He said softly as he rubbed your back.

You could feel your face getting hot. It was really nice receiving all of this attention, especially from him. You hugged him tighter and nuzzled your face into his bowtie. “Thank you.” You said before finally closing your eyes. You could still hear the radio. “Goodnight, sweetheart!” He clicked the lamp off. All was cozy and dark. The last thing you heard before falling asleep was Alastor’s warm humming.

[makeyoumine69]

helloo, can you do something like where patrick has a crush on you but your with someone else, how do you think he’ll react?

𝐀/𝐍: Hello dear anon! Thank you for your ask!💕

𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐒: [MASTERLIST]🪓

Thoughts: Well, if we're talking about the canonical version of Patrick, he probably wouldn't care if you had a partner, because this man saw no obstacles on his way to the object of his obsession. It could also be that Bateman would first try to get to know you better and find useful information about your partner to play around with. This bastard would manipulate the facts and try to gaslight you, he would try to instill the idea of you breaking up with your date as if it was your own decision. But if you still didn't buy it, Patrick might eventually turn to what he was so good at—killing people he didn't like.

Drabble:

Sitting on one of the benches in Central Park, you watched Patrick walk back and forth in front of you, his hands hidden in the pockets of his dark blue coat. 

"I still don't understand one thing," the man murmured thoughtfully, glancing at the cloudy sky from time to time. "You told me your partner didn't treat you right. And I remember it so well, you can't fool me by saying that you didn't."

You rolled your eyes in annoyance. "Uh, if I only knew that you would use all my words against me... I would never tell you this," you replied, but there was no negativity in your tone, just a slight hint of nervousness. "My partner...he's a complicated person and we're having a really hard time in our relationship...but that doesn't mean I'm going to have an affair behind their back." You explained, and it made him stop pacing and focus his attention entirely on you and you alone. "Although... I do enjoy spending time with you."

Oh, that little praise of yours was like balm to his ego. Bateman grinned haughtily and gave you a devious glance. "Of course you do," his low chuckle, the way he smiled as if he already had you in his hands, only caused more anger to build up in your chest, but you managed to keep your composure. "I doubt your dear friend will ever be able to take you to the places I have... do they even know about it? About all the dinners, launches...dates we've had?"

"They weren't dates!" You retorted and quickly got to your feet to face him, and even though you tried to look confident next to him, his looming figure still made you weak in the knees. "We never kissed, we never... I never even thought about it!"

"Really?"

A broad, foxy smile still played on his smug face, and it became even more cheeky as he took a step closer to you, almost brushing your noses. The unexpected closeness hit you like a sunstroke in the middle of fall, it was abnormal and you didn't even know how to react. Patrick's lips were only a few inches away from yours, they looked so plump and kissable, but then you shook off all the little thoughts about how his lips would feel when the two of you finally kissed.

"Patrick, we can't," you turned your head to the side in protest at the last moment, and Bateman pecked your cheek instead. "Uh...listen..."

"No, you listen to me," the man cut you off and placed both hands on your shoulders, their weight feeling oddly comforting, almost euphoric. "You say you need them so much, yet you keep seeing me," his words were only a whisper as he drew near your ear, the heat of his steady breathing scorching your skin. "Something's definitely not right. Don't you think so?"

Your mind was a total mess, at some point you even felt disgusted because Patrick was right. Your current relationship had come to a standstill, and your partner wasn't really trying to fix it. Such relationships were only draining, but did you really know Bateman well? What kind of man was he? Money and wealth could make almost any person act like a master of the world, but the nature of Patrick's arrogance was different and twisted.

Tilting his head to the side, Bateman tittered and slowly, almost imperceptibly, pressed the knuckles of his hand against your cheek. "I know you have a big heart, darling," he muttered, leaning closer, his thumb tracing invisible spirals along your jawline. "And I know you even care about people like your partner, but they don't deserve it, believe me. It will do them good... if you gently tell them that it is all over. You don't want them to get bruised, right?"

Why did his words sound so... disturbing?

Ignoring the knotting feeling in your stomach, you didn't flinch and let him plant another kiss on your burning cheek, the sweet scent of his cologne wafting around you like a cobweb, binding you to him and you could swear you were literally paralyzed for a moment.

"I need... I need some time to think things over," you finally managed to say, raising your dizzy eyes to his walnut ones. "If you really...are interested in me, I hope you will understand and give me some space."

He hummed at first, but didn't remove his hand from your face; in fact, he placed another hand on the back of your neck to hold you in place. Then the man pulled you closer so that you nestled against his strong chest as he hugged you tightly.

"Well, hmmm, I guess you're right," Patrick's heart was thumping against his ribcage and you could literally feel it, somehow surprised that men like him could have hearts at all. "But don't make me wait long."

And there you fell into this man's trap.

P.S. Thank you for reading until the end! I don’t have a taglist. You can follow my writing community to know when I update!💞

[gia-batmm-crickle22]

!! Dr. Ratio, Nous & Fuli and Amphoreus Theory !!

Okay, I've got something cooking up, and this is just a theory, don't worry, so please take all of this with a grain of salt ^^; Also, this involves spoilers so please turn away if you haven't played the 3.0 update yet!

So, people have theorized that Dr. Ratio is from Amphoreus. Before the proof was just simply "His clothes and aesthetic are similar to Amphoreus!" But after Amphoreus was released, the theory is actually getting more proof.

Here's one proof:

Ratio and the Titankin of Strife have interesting similarities. Not simply because of the color and the book, but power-wise, they have similar abilities. They both can turn into stone, with Ratio more replicating himself after turning into stone while he has also the ability of wearing a stone bust.

So my theory goes;

What if Dr. Ratio is a half-Titankin that was exiled from Amphoreus?

After the Main Quest, we get a message from Aglaea that sends us to the Adventure Quest "I Once Was In Arcadia", which uncovers a love story between a guy named Paris and a Strife Titankin Furiae Archer.

This was enough for me to understand that Titankins CAN feel more than their original path like Strife. From this quest, I've also understood Amphoreus natives fear Titankins and would have them discriminated at one mistake.

From that, I made the theory of Ratio being half-Titankin. Of course, that would mean his parents were hated and possibly executed. And since Ratio has the face and intelligence of a human with the skills and power of a Titankin, he was seen as a danger to Amphoreus. This aligns to the fact that the Sky Titan Aquila refuses to let anyone leave the planet (from what Aglaea had stated), so the people sent Ratio (probably when he was a child) in attempt to get rid of him. However, Aquila spared him (given he was exiled, not attempting to escape).

Now, ik Amphoreus was destroyed and what we're looking at is just the memory of it, so...

How would this be possible?

Well, in the game, we see that Titankins can change into stone, right? And when you change from Past/Day to Present/Night, the Titankins change too. They turn to stone, almost like a hibernation that keeps them alive despite the years.

With that in mind, I theorize that Ratio was also able to do that, even as a child, his powers/instincts took over and he stayed in stone when he landed in another planet, unbothered and sleeping. When he finally awakens, he's still a child, but Amphoreus is long gone.

Now, where does Nous play a part in this?

As we know, Erudition is one of the paths that's involved with Amphoreus, thus Nous has a role to play in this theory, especially in terms of Ratio. Unlike Fuli, who kept the planet's memory, Nous (as theorized) has no interest with a planet that no longer exists.

This could explain why Nous refuses to answer Herta's questions about Amphoreus.

Now, about Ratio. Ratio was rejected by Nous in joining the Genius Society because he cares about people more than the pursue for knowledge. Ratio has a weakness that Nous makes sure none of the other Genius's have, so THEY turned him away.

But what if it was so much more than that?

What if Nous is aware that Ratio is from Amphoreus and not only do THEY not like the fact that Ratio has a weakness, but THEY also believe that Ratio will take advantage of his place in the Genius Society to help/rescue Amphoreus from ruin? Whether Ratio remembers his home planet or not, Nous didn't want to take the chance, believing that Amphoreus is a doomed planet from the getgo and their fate shouldn't be changed.

This could explain why Fuli (possibly) sent THEIR Memokeeper Black Swan to input the planet Amphoreus into the thoughts and ideas of the Trailblazers while (possibly) sending THEIR Memosnatcher to attempt to distract Nous and Herta from the building of THEIR plan.

When you exit Amphoreus, it's very different from the other Bad Endings. Elio is usually the script supervisor, but Amphoreus isn't.

It's an adventure that started with Black Swan, possibly sent by Fuli, thus the conclusion is that Fuli is the one who tugged on the strings and changed the script/altered the script to have the Trailblazers in Amphoreus, a land that even Akivili hasn't been in, and save Amphoreus.

With this theory, these questions remain:

Why is Fuli trying to save Amphoreus?

Will Nous try to stop the Trailblazers from saving Amphoreus?

Will Ratio return to his home planet after it's saved?

---

Again, this is all just a theory! I'll probably publish this in other platforms, sooo yeah ^^;

[ode-to-fury]

I think I've boiled down all of my complaint about Veilguard to to things

1.) Lack of a companion dialogue wheel in the Lighthouse

I think whoever made this decision seriously misunderstood what the wheel is for. It's not for meaningless banter that you get out on missions anyway, or repetitive dialogue that doesn't add anything to the story, the dialogue wheel has been there since origins to tease out the companions' backstories and worldviews. How much Chantry lore would we have missed out on in Origins if not for Leliana? Or Crow lore if not for Zevran's talking about it? And also I wouldn't know the characters. And the companions are such important parts of the story in Dragon Age. I can't remember if da2 had dialogue wheels, but there were so many other oppertunities for Hawke to interact with the companions outside of that that I think they made up for it. It's also a way to centre Rook's bond with their companions, instead of the companions' bonds with each other. It irks me so much how they get to build such intense relationships with one another but I have to headcanon everything they feel about Rook. Let's face it, 90% of our Rooks' relationships with their companions is headcanon, and like... that's fine, I enjoy doing that and the game gives me enough that I can realistically do it without having to make up too much, but I've always thought like the companion relationships with each other I can headcanon off of banters from missions. Rook's relationship with them or whatever protagonist we're talking about has to be built and shown in game because me as the player should be the most important piece on the board. Sorry, that's just how videogame writing works. That's why Tav works in bg3 even though they're just as much of a 'nobody' as Rook is. I don't mind that Rook isn't all powerful or competent or whatever other critiques there are out there about Rook. I love Rook, they're probably my favourite da player character, but I want to feel that the companions love Rook too, or at least know them. I didn't feel like that with anyone other than Lucanis and Davrin.

Which brings me to

2.) The game isn't long enough.

I know people are going to argue with me on this one and that's perfectly fine, everyone has preferences about how long a game should be or not, but just bear with me for a second. The biggest part of this game is obviously 1.) the main questline, and 2.) the companoin quests. I actually like that there isn't too much other than that because I get completionist anxiety about sidequests but that's beside the point. My point is I don't really have an issue with the pacing of the main storyline, but if you are going to centre the companions in this game... finish their fucking storylines. I think Emmrich's quest is the most well-rounded out of all of them, and I still would have added at least two more quests to his. In fact, I would add at least two more quests to every single companion questline, and three more to Lucanis's. And do not get me started on the scenes with the companions. Though this could also be fine if they'd added the dialogue wheel. Because then we get bonding through that instead of having to put a whole cutscene in there. But anyway, yeah. Every single one of the questlines were rushed and it irks me SO MUCH because they could have been SO GOOD. Also the hardened character should have had alternate quests and cutscenes instead of just... not having any content. Neve got a few scenes, but Lucanis just... isn't a character if you harden him.

Tldr: the two main issues I have with Veilguard that could have basically fixed the game for me is 1.) a companion dialogue wheel at the lighthouse and 2.) a longer game.

[fluff-lover]

Healing Touch | Chapter 6: Healed hearts

Logan Howlett x fem!Reader

A/N: It's finally here! The final chapter! If you've made it this far, I wanted to say thank you for reading!!

There are no warnings for this chapter I guess, it's just pure fluff (with a tiny little bit of angst)

Masterlist

-

The mansion was unusually quiet when you and Logan arrived late that evening: no students running through the halls, no sounds of laughter or training in the yard. With the students on vacation and Jean and Scott away on their honeymoon, there really wasn’t much to do around.

“You’re back!” Ororo said from the staircase as she made her way to you. “We missed you!” She added while hugging you.

“Hi Ro.” You said hugging her back. “It’s good to be back home.”

“How was the trip?” She asked.

“I’ll take the suitcases upstairs.” Logan suddenly said before leaving the two of you alone.

Ororo frowned.

“Is he okay?” She whispered and you nodded your head.

“Yeah, don’t worry about him. The trip was… eventful, to say the least. He learned a lot about himself and his past. But you know how he is, he doesn’t talk much about himself. I think he’ll tell you about it eventually, once he’s ready.” You explained.

“What about you?” She asked.

“What about me?”

“Did you have a pleasant trip?”

You had to hold yourself back from giggling like a schoolgirl. You wanted so much to tell her about everything, about Logan and you getting together, but you still hadn’t had the “what are we?” talk with Logan.

“It was… really good.” You smiled. Ororo gave you a suspicious look, but didn’t press.

Logan waited for you in your bedroom after dropping by your suitcase. The second you stepped in he closed the door and kissed you. You smiled against his lips and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Did you tell her about us?” He asked.

“No, I didn’t but I think she suspects something. Should we tell her and the others?” You asked.

Logan shook his head. 

“Not right now. I like the idea of us having something just for ourselves.” He smiled and nuzzled your nose.

“You’re not embarrassed of me, are you?” you asked. It was supposed to be a joke, but deep down there was always a little bit of doubt. Logan pulled back with a frown.

“Are you for real right now?” He asked in disbelief. You shrugged and pouted cutely.

“No, but it’s nice to be reassured.”

Logan rolled his eyes.

“No, I’m not embarrassed and I don’t mind people knowing. You’re free to tell your friends.” Logan said. “I just don’t want to jinx it, you know? this is so recent I don’t want to rush into things and mess it up.” he confessed.

His words made you smile, but it was the vulnerable look in his eyes that made you melt in his arms. You knew he wasn’t the relationship type of man, so this was probably uncharted territory for him, even after 200 years.

“Yeah, you’re right.” You bit your lower lip and caressed his cheek. “Can you stay for a little bit?” You asked wiggling your eyebrows. Logan smirked.

“Baby, I’d stay until you kick me out.” He said before picking you up and taking you to the bed, you giggled and kicked your feet in the air all the way.

With the students on break, you and Logan found yourselves with a rare taste of freedom. You returned to the hospital to volunteer, but you also started visiting places like a nursing home, offering your powers to those who needed it most. Logan, meanwhile, kept an eye on the few kids who had stayed behind: unfortunately, not all of them had homes to return to for the holidays. When he wasn’t looking after them, he’d take the occasional motorcycle ride to clear his head.

You would share short little moments and maybe a kiss or two when no one was watching, but at night Logan would sneak into your bedroom for some alone time. Your relationship was developing into something sweet and comforting and you couldn’t remember the last time you were this happy. It was scary how fast you fell for Logan. You were nowhere near ready to tell him you loved him, not because you didn’t love him, but because you didn’t want to scare him away. In the meantime you showed your affection in other ways and you were planning a little surprise for him: you were in the process of getting his father’s watch fixed.

One evening, he invited you along for a ride on his bike. The two of you ended up at a diner just outside of town. It was everything you could hope for on a date: burgers, milkshakes, and a slice of pie for dessert. Sitting together in a cozy booth, his arm draped casually over your shoulders, you couldn’t help but feel like a teenager out with your crush. The ease of his company, the quiet way he glanced at you when he thought you weren’t looking, it all made your heart flutter in a way you hadn’t felt in a long time.

By the time you returned to the mansion, the world was dark and quiet. You expected everyone to be asleep, but as you quietly pushed the door open, Ororo was waiting for you in the hallway, arms crossed and a knowing smile playing on her lips.

“And where, pray tell, have you two been?” she asked, her tone laced with teasing amusement. Logan barely missed a beat. 

“What are you, my mother?” he shot back, his signature gruffness unable to hide the slight smirk tugging at his lips.

You bit back a laugh, shaking your head as Ororo chuckled softly. “Just making sure you weren’t up to too much trouble.”

“We went out for a bite. I never rode a bike before so I asked Logan if it was okay for him to take me.” You said, which wasn’t entirely untrue.

“Mhmmm…” Ro arched an eyebrow giving you both an unimpressed look. “Right, well, it’s late so off to bed the two of you.”

“Again, not my mother.” Logan said annoyed. You chuckled and shook your head.

“Thanks for the ride, Logan! Good night!” You said before heading to the staircase.

“My pleasure, Angel.” He replied with a fond smile. 

Ororo narrowed her eyes, she had only ever seen that look on Logan’s face before, and it was when he looked at Jean.

“You two are onto something and I will find out soon enough.” She said.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Logan said before quickly walking away so she wouldn’t see the goofy smile on his face.

Only ten minutes later Logan was sneaking out of his room and into yours, catching you by surprise halfway through your nightly routine.

“Logan! Jesus! I didn’t expect you until later!” You said embarrassed. You had a fluffy headband you used when you washed your face, you wore ratty clothes instead of the sexy nightgown you planned to wear that night, and had under-eyes masks on.

Logan chuckled and pulled you closer.

“So this is what you’re up to before I come here, uh?”

You groaned and hid your face on his chest.

“I have to make myself pretty for you.” You mumbled.

“Oh baby,” He cooed. “You’re always pretty to me. Beautiful. Gorgeous.” He kissed the top of your head. You smiled, your face warming up.

“And you’re the most handsome man I’ve ever seen.” You said before walking him to your bed. “Tonight was so nice! I like our little getaways.”

Logan chuckled.

“We should do it more often, although Ororo will definitely catch on.” He said as he sat down at the foot of your bed.

“And here I thought Charles was the mind reader.” You joked. “Maybe we’re being too obvious?” Logan pulled you closer so you were standing between his legs.

“Nah, she’s just being nosy… Now, no more talking about Ro, I came here to see my little angel.”

You smiled and ran your fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes and hummed happily.

“I’m glad to see you’re not tired of me yet.” You joked.

“Never.” He pulled you even closer and you leaned to kiss him. 

“Let me finish getting ready and we’ll continue this.” You said with a playful tone. Logan shook his head and held you tighter.

“All this sneaking around makes me wanna enjoy every second I have with you.” He said before throwing you on the bed. 

Under-eye masks be damned.

He had a good point: your time together was limited. Logan still opted to sleep alone in his own room. Both of you longed to share a bed, wrapped in each other's arms, but his fear of accidentally hurting you during a nightmare was too big to ignore. 

However, saying goodnight was becoming increasingly difficult and each night took longer. You clung to Logan and begged him not to leave your bed for at least five more minutes. Those five minutes usually turned into an hour and you only let him go when you were already asleep.

Tonight wasn’t any different. Logan said goodnight with several kisses and caresses on your sleepy face before quietly stepping out of the room. He had to be very quiet not to wake up anyone and create suspicions.

“I FUCKING KNEW IT!” Logan jumped and turned around, finding Ororo at the end of the hall with a glass of milk in her hand and a smug look on her face.

“Oh for fuck’s sake…” Logan sighed.

-

You and Logan sat on one side of the table, while Ororo, Rogue, and Kitty sat across from you. Breakfast had been served, but no one was eating. On one hand, you felt like a kid about to be lectured by your parents; on the other, it was as if you were about to be interrogated by the FBI. The tension in the air was palpable, sharp and heavy, like the moments before defusing a bomb.

“Is this really necessary?” Logan asked.

“Yes!” Both Rogue and Kitty replied.

“Fine.” He grumbled. “Let’s get over this, what do you wanna know?”

“Everything!” Rogue answered as if it was the most obvious thing.

“Let’s start from the beginning.” Ororo said with her arms folded over the table. “When did you start seeing each other?”

“During our trip to Canada.” You said.

“And?” Kitty pushed.

“And… what?” Logan asked.

“How did it start? Who kissed who first?” Rogue said.

“Was it snowing? Was it romantic?” Kitty added.

“Was it a “long time coming” type of thing? Or was it an impulse?” Rogue added.

“Whoa, girls, that’s a lot of questions.” You said.

“Not to mention, very personal.” Logan added. You felt bad for him, this was clearly not how he wanted people to know.

“All you need to know is that Logan was a perfect gentleman during our first kiss.” You said. “And that’s all I’ll say about that.”

Logan glanced at you, but you found him hard to read. Was he satisfied by your answer? Or was he mad that you indulge them? You couldn’t tell.

“Alright, that’s good… for now.” Ororo said. “Let’s skip to the important stuff.”

“Oh lord…” You were terrified.

“Are you guys in a relationship? Or are you just fooling around?” She asked.

“That’s none of your business.” Logan hissed. And he was 100% right, but a small part of you hoped he would confirm your relationship status.

“Guys, this is all very recent, we’re still figuring things out ourselves.” You said, trying to defuse the situation. 

“We’re only asking because we love you and we want to see you happy.” Rogue said while pointedly looking at Logan.

“We’re fine.” Logan said, which wasn’t much of an answer.

“Then why are you sneaking around? You left her room in the middle of the night, that sounds like just fooling around to me.” Ororo pressed.

Logan suddenly got up, his chair scratching the floor loudly and making you flinch. Clearly Ororo pushed too hard on a touchy subject. 

“That’s enough.” Logan said before walking out of the room. He didn’t want them to know he was afraid of falling asleep next to you. He felt vulnerable enough as everyone knew about the night he stabbed you.

You watched him walk away with a heaviness in your chest. When you turned back you had all three women looking at you expectantly.

“Logan is right. This is a private matter we shouldn’t be discussing with anyone but each other.” You gave Ororo a look. “I told you he would talk once he’s ready. Now he may close off again.” You sighed tiredly. 

“What about you, though?” Rogue asked. You looked at her confused.

“What about me?”

“We care about you too.” Ororo said. “Logan can be… well, difficult. You spend so much time caring for him, helping him with his memory… is it worth it? I mean, he sneaks out of your bedroom at night, why is that?”

Now you understand why Logan was so upset. The implication that your partner wasn’t good enough for you, or that you weren’t happy in the relationship, was overstepping.

“Not that it is any of your business, but he insists on sleeping on his own bed because he’s too afraid of hurting me again.” You explained. The girls shared a look as they remembered that fateful night. “This is the happiest I’ve ever been and I don’t need anyone mendling in my business. If I ever need your help or want your opinion, I’ll let you know.” You said before getting up from the chair and walking out.

-

The rest of the morning felt heavy after the breakfast interrogation. You couldn’t help but replay Logan’s abrupt exit in your mind. Was Logan upset that everyone knew? Was he embarrassed? Did this mean you weren’t something serious after all? You clung to the conversations you had before where he reassured you, but doubt kept you on edge.

Lost in your thoughts you made your way to your usual bench. The fresh morning air soothed you a little bit, and you felt like you could think a little bit clearer. This is where Logan found you.

“You okay?” he asked, his voice gruff but tinged with concern.

“I guess… What about you? You looked really upset.”

Logan sighed, sitting next to you on the bench. 

“They had no right to pry like that.” he said.

“They were out of line,” you agreed. “But… I think they got to my head. I can’t help wondering. Are we… serious? I mean, what are we?” You mentally braced for his response.

“You’re serious to me,” he said firmly, leaving no room for doubt. “You think I’d go through all this sneakin’ around for just anyone? You’re my girl.” He took your hand. “My little angel.”

You thought you would melt there and then, your heart exploded with happiness.

“Only yours.” You smiled. “No more sneaking around, okay? We can continue sleeping in separate rooms, but I don’t want to hide the fact that we’re together.”

“I’m okay with that.” Logan nodded.

“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t expect us to make out like horny teenagers in the hall or the classrooms. We still need to act like teachers in front of our students.” You said and Logan laughed, throwing his arm around your shoulders.

You smiled and leaned your head on his shoulder.

You were officially Logan’s girl.

-

As expected Logan arrived at your bedroom after dinner, ready for your usual nightly routine. Despite sleeping in his own bedroom, you noticed bits and pieces of him scattered in your room: he had a toothbrush and a bottle of cologne in your bathroom, there was a pair of clean socks and underwear in your dresser; a flask and an ashtray in case he wanted a drink or to smoke after sex, which happened pretty much every night… 

You loved it. You loved knowing Logan felt safe and comfortable with you.

Later on you rested your naked body on top of his, a light sheen of sweat covering both of you after some intense activities. Logan was the best lover you had. Not only he focused on your pleasure over his, but he was also very creative in the bedroom. At first you felt a little bit embarrassed that you weren’t as adventurous as he was, and you were a bit shy, but Logan was more than eager to help you explore your body and find what you liked best. He never pushed too hard and he always reassured you there was nothing wrong with liking sex or enjoying your sexuality.

He really was the best you ever had. In every sense of the word.

So there you were, hair all messy, sheets pooling around your legs, his hands tracing lightly on your back, when you remembered something.

“I have something for you,” you said as you sat up on the bed and reached for something on your bedside table. Logan sat up and leaned against the headboard, curious to see what you got.

You pulled out a little box neatly wrapped with a silver bow on top and handed it to him. Logan took it and hesitated to open it. 

“What’s the occasion? I didn’t get you anything.”

You giggled.

“No occasion, it’s not a big deal. Come on, open it.”

What Logan didn’t know is that you took his father’s watch to a clocksmith and got it fixed.

When he unwrapped it and saw the watch his expression softened in a way that made your heart ache.

“My father’s watch…” he murmured, running his thumb over the polished surface.

“I got it fixed for you,” you said quietly. “I thought maybe it’d be nice to have something of his, you know, now that you’re remembering more about him.”

Logan sat there in silence for so long you started to worry you’ve done something wrong. But then he pulled you into a hug, holding you tightly.

“You’re something else, baby” he said, his voice thick with emotion.

When he pulled back, you caressed his cheek.

“I just want you to be happy, Logan.”

He smiled and kissed you softly.

“I am. I really am, for the first time in a long time.”

You laid back down on the bed and watched as Logan traced his thumb over the watch lovingly.

“You know… I have a bone to pick with you.” He suddenly said. You frowned and looked up at him.

“What do you mean?”

“You lied to me.” Logan replied and you jumped on the bed, quickly sitting up.

“What are you talking about?” You asked worriedly. Logan simply chuckled which only confused even more.

“A while back you told me that the only thing you couldn’t heal was a broken heart.” He said, a soft look in his eyes. You remembered that conversation, it was the night Scott and Jean got engaged and you were trying to comfort Logan despite your own heartache. “You lied.” Logan continued. “You healed mine. Thank you.”

Tears pooled in your eyes, overwhelmed by his tenderness.

“And you healed mine.” you whispered. Logan caressed your cheek and wiped a tear away.

“I’m not good at this kinda thing, but… I love you. I really do.”

Your breath hitched at the confession.

“I love you, too.” You leaned down and kissed him. “And just so you know, you’re much better than you give yourself credit for.”

Too happy and excited to sleep, you two stayed up talking almost the entire night. Eventually you reached the subject of his memory since there was still work to do.

“So, what’s next in recovering your memories?” You asked. Logan exhaled, his chin resting lightly on your head. 

“After Alberta?...” Logan sighed. “Madripoor.”

“Madripoor,” you repeated softly. “Sounds interesting.”

“Oh you have no idea.” Logan chuckled lightly, his breath warm against your hair.

“I’ll start with the preparations in the morning.” you said before closing your eyes and snuggling more onto him.

Logan fell asleep shortly after you, forgetting completely about going back to his own room. He never wanted to sleep in another bed without you.

-

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[tossawary]

A while back, I had a playthrough of the PS5 "Spider-Man" game going on in the background, and I don't actually remember much from it, but it did do one thing that reeeeeally annoyed me at the time. Although, admittedly, I am not sufficiently familiar with the comics to criticize any of the writing choices with citations.

See, in this game, they had a redheaded love interest for Peter Parker named Mary Jane Watson, BUT this MJ was a journalist. In fact, there were a couple stealth sequences where the player briefly played as journalist MJ investigating some organized crime group.

And I had to stop working to squint at the screen for a while, because I couldn't remember anything about any movie, cartoon, or comic MJ ever doing any work as an investigative journalist. I'd thought that she was a model and actress??? I'd been under the impression that MJ had more of a party girl persona, at least outwardly.

I had to stew on why I disliked this choice, but I concluded that I hated the idea that female characters and their ambitions could be interchangeable. Not all people's personal identities are irreversibly intertwined with their careers, but some definitely are, and for others, career choices are still going to say something about their personality and background.

There are some characters who can job-hop across a wide variety of jobs and it doesn't impact their general characterization much. But there are other characters where I'm like, "If they lost their job, they would have an identity crisis and struggle to shift industries." Someone who is an academically minded scientist is not always going to have an easy transition into a profit-oriented sales job. Someone who likes to fix things with their hands is probably going to dislike switching to a job filling out spreadsheets. Someone who hates kids is probably not going to be a good teacher. Someone who was really professionally ambitious may not adjust well to being a stay-at-home parent, financially dependent on someone else and responsible for the well-being of a helpless little human being. And so on. All for various complicated human reasons.

I don't remember enough about the aforementioned game to be criticizing it specifically here. But generally speaking, I disliked the basic concept that a female character couldn't be interesting and challenging if she had a "shallow" and "feminine" career. I disliked the general concept that MJ could be "improved" as a character by being given a more "serious" / "intellectual" career. I disliked the idea that Peter Parker was REQUIRED to have a redheaded love interest named MJ, as per many preceding comics, but who MJ actually was as a person in terms of hobbies she enjoyed, ambitions she dreamed about, her opinions and fears and messy behaviors, could just be swapped out as if none of that internal richness mattered.

In my very basic knowledge, the "Spider-Man" comics have a wide cast of female characters, some of whom have been journalists or employees of the Daily Bugle! Peter has had MANY love interests over the years! And MJ apparently being "shallow" gave her specific (admittedly often misogynistic) relationship dynamics with other female characters like Gwen, which made MJ stand out as a unique personality. Not all superhero love interests have to be Lois Lane, investigative journalist!

To me, it's a little like making Lois Lane NOT a journalist, and making her into a model and actress instead. Like, you COULD do that. In fact, if you were really willing to put the work in for an AU, I'm sure you could do a fascinating character study about what would have to be different about Lois Lane's life to put her on a wildly different career path. But if there was a "Superman" game and you randomly changed Lois Lane's career without a great reason, you would get tomatoes thrown at you.

This game did have a reason to make MJ into a journalist: she became a source of information to move the plot forward and it briefly made her a playable character. Which is... fine. That's fun, even. I think you could have probably written the story in such a way that actress MJ was involved with something that ended up being a front for organized crime, to achieve similar results, but it is easier in some ways to just make her a journalist, I guess.

And hey, for all I know, this game really did a great adaptation of comics MJ into a journalist; maybe the writing had some really solid AU characterization for her. I do not remember it well enough, but I do remember the writing in other areas of the game being pretty solid. As a standalone character, I didn't think that this game's version of MJ was bad or anything.

But, lacking those citations to study her as am adaptation of the comics character, I still feel a little suspicious and salty about it.

I think this came to mind again because I was thinking about fanfiction AUs which change a character's career, and why they occasionally don't work for me. Sometimes, you take a character who is ordinarily fighting genetically engineered aliens in an apocalyptic wasteland, plop them in a Modern AU, and say, "They're a daycare worker now!" And I might be like, "Yeah, that's exactly where they'd be. That's their happy place. Hell yeah." But with other characters, you do the same thing, and I'm like, "I'm gonna be real, I think this would be this character's personal hell."

[sebs-raging-with-testosterone]

this is my little corner of the internet, yes, and even if it’s tiny, and will stay that way for a while, i still will say what needs to be said and what is probably being thought about by millions of my fellows.

i’m a transdude. i’m pre-everything, and have an appointment set up with an endocrinologist next week that will probably help me get on testosterone. i’m 17-years-old. i’ve been out as a transguy, as anything queer for that matter, for a little over a year now.

i’m terrified. i did not plan on being another part of the vast majority of history that has come to exist in this country when i had first discovered myself and come out. i did not plan fearing for my life, my identity, literally every single second of the day. i know some already have to deal with that, and i know i already have to be careful, but this is a whole new level of fear.

and i’m currently in the depths of recovery from both SH and the beginning stages of an ED, both of which are constantly on my mind, same with SI, and now i have this. this was not a good timing at all. i’m terrified i might lose my internal battle before they can come for me, because of the fear that they will. (i’ll keep living, if purely in rebellion of them and in the intention to give my fellows hope and strength.)

but do i go stealth? i don’t pass, people will misgender me. should i not correct them when they do?

or should i wear my pronoun pin? should i do trans themed makeup when i go out? should i patch up some pants of mine, covered in patches that are speaking about the rights to my very existence?

or should i detransition for the time being? should i, to the outside world, become a girl?

should i just simply exist as i always have?

i don’t know what to do. i’m terrified. i want to help, help make some random queer stranger feel not so alone when they see my pronoun pin, help trans kids who are still in the closet know that we are still living when they see me out and about, help rebel against those who hate my every breath on this earth. but i don’t want to be killed. i don’t want my boyfriend, my sibling, (both of which are as equally queer as i am, only one is “visibly” so), my mom, to have to mourn someone, and see their loved one go down with history.

i have a life i want to live. what do i have to do to have it? what do i have to do in order to breathe anymore?

i’m terrified. i am. i really, truly am. and i’m unsure of what to do next, but i think my mind is pretty made up.

i’ll wear my pronoun pin. i’ll patch up some pants of mine. i’ll paint my face with trans themed makeup. i’ll live visibly queer and transgender. i’ll get on Testosterone. i’ll grow facial hair and i’ll speak deeply, as my chest is still visible.

i have every right to live my life as who i am, and to shout that from the treetops if i have to.

and i want all my queer, trans fellows to remember, and keep in mind, you are not alone. we have been here before, our community has been here before. we survived it ten million times before, now we have to survive it again and i’m unfortunately sure this is not the last time we’ll have to.

my advice: stick together. i know we’re all a bunch of socially awkward people, but this is your time to make connections. any trans or queer person, you two are now buddies, best friends, you have each other’s backs, and are always there for one another when they come to you randomly about anything under the sun. if you need someone like that right now, i’m your new buddy, i’m your new best friend, come to me any time of the day. if you aren’t in a situation where you can safely be out and the danger of your outness is pretty much entirely confirmed, don’t be out to those people/the public. if you can pass, pass. if you are visibly trans or queer, and you do have a safe/r place to do so, do so if you want to. but most of all, don’t give up on yourselves. it’s gonna be a rough 4 years, but i can promise you, we’re gonna survive, and that means you have to live. it’s hard, no one said it would be easy, but we got this. you are worthy of love, of acceptance, of support, of everything they say we aren’t. there is nothing wrong with you, and you don’t deserve death of any kind. if i keep living, you keep living. we can do this together, too.

we’re gonna get through this, together. STICK TO EACH OTHER LIKE GLUE, THEY WANT US SEPARATED SO WE HAVE LESS POWER!!!

[mxpseudonym]

The thing about Joy

Pairing: Nanami Kento x Joy (OC or highly characterized reader)

Summary: Nanami swears he’s done with Joy, but no one believes him, not even himself.

Length: 1643 words

Warnings: Smut, obsessive tendencies

A/N: I almost forgot how to set up a fic, it’s been so long. I’m a little rusty but she’s cute.

“You remember Joy, don’t you, Nanamin? What happened with her?”

Nanami fixated on the subway car window thinking about the prying questions Gojo never failed to ask. It had been eight months since his senior found out he’d broken up with the girlfriend Gojo only met once, briefly in a "chance" encounter Nanami was sure was purposeful. Eight months and Nanami still got an arm thrown over his shoulders and the question of what happened. His answer was always the same.

“It just didn’t work out. When adults discover they want different things, they can part amicably.”

The jab at Gojo’s immaturity was pointless, however. Gojo would just hum and say it was too bad, only to do the same actions two weeks later. Nanami supposed he had to give the man credit. He likely wouldn’t stop until he heard the truth.

Which would never happen. Because the problem with Joy was that she was a little crazy.

Nanami’s eyes shifted from the gritty, underground walls passing just beyond the subway windows before him to the image of his reflection before it. His face mask covered a good amount, but he could still see his eyes. He could tell something was missing.

The walk home from the station was quick, even when he stopped by the local convenience store for dinner. He lingered to watch a few stray cats playing and took in the character of his neighborhood. And still, just as he stepped into his apartment, his phone rang.

He ignored it, prioritizing checking his apartment for safety and turning on the kitchen lights. His phone buzzed again as he washed and then dried his hands.

“Hello?”

“Nami, help me.”

Nanami paused, pulling the phone from his ear to see the crown and heart emojis on his caller ID. His guess was right. He leaned against his counter before bringing it back up to his ear.

“-tried but it doesn’t work.”

She was panting and her voice was broken. He could hear she was close to sobbing, but also two glasses of red wine deep.

“Nami?”

“Yes, Joy?”

“I can’t do it without you.”

“Do what?” He asked a question he already knew the answer to in an attempt to buy any time he could. There was a pause, but he didn’t mistake that for her taking time to come to her senses.

“Kento,” she breathed. “I’m trying to make myself cum.”

His head dropped, eyes squeezing shut. One sentence and a vision expanded in his mind. Her freshly showered body lay in the middle of her bed, her still wet hair dampening her blankets in the way he hated. She was probably wearing the baggy sweatshirt he got from his old company. They couldn’t bother to double-check his size when they tossed them out at the end of a staff retreat. She always loved it. He’d roll up the sleeves for her when she’d walk around with it falling just under her boyshorts.

She’d be laying with it on, fingers desperately pulling at the hem to reveal her panties, if she was wearing anything at all.

“Do you have time for me?” Her question brought him back to his kitchen. He had a multitude of things to say to her. This wasn’t putting space between them in the slightest.

“Joy.”

“Kento.”

“You shouldn’t call me like this.”

“Is it because you said we’re no good?” She asked. The question was followed by a moan at the phrase. She continued in a shaky breath, “Because I drive you crazy?”

“You do drive me crazy,” he murmured, remembering how right he was when he told her that six months before.

“Then why don’t you hang up? Why do you still answer your Princess?” She pestered.

“Princess,”

“Yes?” She cut him off, answering to the name. He rubbed his lips together while memories of him calling her that flashed through his head. He didn’t dare look at his slacks, not that he needed to. He could feel himself hardening.

“Did you roll up the sleeves?” He whispered, finally. The small gasp from the other end was satisfying. At least he knew her just as well.

“I did, like always.”

“Good. Good girl,” he breathed. She whimpered on the other end. “I guarantee you’re going too fast. Trust me as someone who is an expert on making your pussy cum. You’ll feel overwhelmed and run from it but keep it up.”

He loosened his tie and told her to put him on speaker. He needed her sweet thighs parted, back arching. He needed her using the wetness from between her lips to make slippery circles on her clit. He needed her.

Only the sounds that were so familiar he committed them to memory were coming through the phone. He knew she was grasping the sheets with her manicured hands and her brows were furrowed.

Nanami turned, tossing his phone on the counter, and put her on speakerphone before clutching the edges of the granite. He looked down at his slacks. There wasn’t enough shame in the world that would stop him from unbuckling his belt, he thought. He knew she could hear the clinking of metal- the sound of the zipper.

“Are you,”

“Keep going, sweetheart,” he grunted.

“Ah!” the nickname pushed her over. “Not enough, more. More please.”

“Two fingers.”

He heard her shifting and knew she was on her tummy, knees spread wide, pussy dripping and on display. Her breath trembled as she found herself. He heard the squelching of her sucking on her fingers and then panting as she removed them from her mouth. A desperate mewl followed it moments later.

“Oh my god.”

“They went in easy, didn’t they?”

“I’m so wet. They went right in.”

Nanami clenched his fist again.

“Add another.”

“Thank you, Nami. Ah!”

He chanted commands into the phone while his own hand worked. Deeper, slower, faster. Joy spoke gibberish through the phone until she was whining for release.

“Baby,” he breathed.

“Yes?”

“Princess.”

“Oh yes,”

“Cum for me. Only me. No one else gets to see you like this, okay? Promise and you can,”

“I promise. It’s only you. Just you. I’m yours.”

“Fuck,” Nanami swore as he came onto the counter. He quickly closed his eyes, however, to hear her release. She’d wrap her thighs around his ears if he were there tasting her. Her hips would move on their own and he’d hold them down. “Don’t run from it. Keep going, baby,” he advised, his voice in a trance as he vividly imagined himself in the room with her.

She yelped but continued. Her hair would be messy, her thighs shaking, tears dropping softly. Nanami panted, whispering for her to keep going, savoring every moment until he was sure she’d worked through another orgasm and was moments away from being overstimulated if she continued.

“That’s enough,” he told her. “Taste yourself.”

“Mmm, it’s good. I’m good,” she confirmed, then chuckled softly.

“Clean them well.”

“If you were here, not a drop would be wasted.”

Nanami pulled himself together. He snatched the shitty napkin from his convenience store bag and cleaned his mess before looking for disinfectant.

“Joy,”

“Kento,” She stopped him. He perked up at the firmness of her voice. “Make me dinner tomorrow. At my apartment. And stop telling people we broke up.”

He sighed deeply, pausing from opening a container of disinfectant wipes to pinch his brow. “We did break up.”

“Is this what you call broken up? If you don’t come over, I’m never talking to you again.”

“Stop it,” he warned her, fists clenched.

The problem with Joy was that she was a little crazy. She had to be to encourage his obsessive ways the way she did.

He knew every little detail about her- how she took her coffee, her daily schedule, her measurements, her favorite restaurants. When they were out, he rarely let go of her hand and lingering eyes got a death glare. But she always knew how to reassure him.

“I’m yours, aren’t I?”

He told her about his fantasies of keeping her home all day, away from everyone. And she asked if he wanted to try tying her up in bed. He tried separating them, but when she found out he ruined three of her blind dates, she promised she’d never go again. When she wanted him to do what she wanted, she’d threaten him by saying she’d turn off the location app on her phone or she’d say she wouldn’t see him that day.

She was reckless and single-minded. And she liked him- him and his obsessive ways.

She liked that he watched out for her too much, bordering on spying at times. And that he got jealous that others looked too closely at her when they were out. She liked that he wanted to see her in his clothes and the clothes he bought her almost exclusively.

He broke up with her because she said, “You only want me to depend on you, right?” after her bought her a new phone. She was never going to save him, he realized. She would enable him until the end. He opened his phone and went on the location-sharing app he’d installed. He knew she used this on him too. That’s how she called him. Her voice brought him back to the conversation.

"I'm considering you not being here tonight one strike, okay? You don't want another one," she told him. Her voice was sweet as always but clearer, more certain. He agreed after a few moments and she cheered before telling him the kind of wine to bring before hanging up.

Nanami sat his phone on the newly clean counter and pulled out the bento from the bag. He sighed and built some resolve.

"It's just one time. I'll just see her one more time."

[brutally-loving]

OKAY UH. DATE. IDEA. WRITING ABOUT ANOTHER DATE IDEA. Under the cut.

It'd start the day before.

I'd tell Choso, hey, I want to go to the carnival! Badly. Very, very badly- I'd ask him if he'd be free to come with me, and he'd say yeah. Yeah he is. He'd watch my face light up with boundless enthusiasm, letting me hold his hand as I raved about exactly what I wanted to do, what I wanted to show him, and what I'd wear. He'd listen, of course, nodding along sometimes and allowing me to maneuver him as I gesticulated with my free hand and the one I was using to grasp his. I'd ask him if he has anything specific he wanted to do, and he'd answer me, even if it wasn't as enthusiastic or as detailed as I had been.

The next day, we'd get up relatively early together. He'd listen to me yell along to my favorite songs as I got ready, not commenting on the slight rasp in my voice by the time I was finished. I'd ask him if he's got his wallet and keys, his phone and anything else. He'd appreciate the little check-ins. But as per usual, it would be a firm yes after patting down his pockets. I'd lock the door behind us and we'd make our way to the carnival.

We'd make our way there. Maybe pay to get in, maybe not. I don't really care. I'd be holding onto his hand firmly, being the one to quickly take out my card or cash to pay for whatever it was that we needed to so we could get in and have our time. I'd be wearing my platforms, so I wouldn't have to look up so much to be able to make the eye contact that I'd love to with Choso. He'd ask me where I wanted to go first, and I'd have to think about it. But, I'd probably suggest we start with some smaller rides.

He'd let me drag him along, our fingers firmly interlocked as I pointed out where I wanted to go. I'd tell him exactly how excited I was, and everytime we'd stop in a line, I'd squeeze his hand and tell him how goddamn lucky I was to have such an amazing boyfriend to come with me for this. He'd wonder how he got wrapped into having an extrovert for a boyfriend (/j). We'd go through the lines together, and I'd flat our refuse to be separated from him.

He'd find some of the ride peculiar, but agree to come along with me simply because of how happy I seemed to be there. Which, I would be. I'd be beyond thrilled. Even the rides I wouldn't normally want to go on, I'd go on with him. After all, I want him to experience all that he can. I want him to remember our trip. Proceeding a good chunk of rides, and me beginning to feel a little less overly hyped, I'd ask him to stroll through the games with me before we grabbed some food.

He'd agree to play the games, a little smile dancing at his lips as I'd compliment his skill and ability. I'm pretty sure he'd know I asked him to play the games just so that I could stare at him with my big stupid grin while he did, and subsequently brag about how amazing he is, but I don't think he'd mind at all. He'd humor me. I'm sure he'd win some things, and honestly? I think we'd probably give some stuff away to random kids. Just "here, have this" and keep it moving- I can't keep that many random items on my person, after all! But I'd still keep a few things he managed to obtain, because what kinda boyfriend would I be if I didn't keep some trophies?

We'd go find a place for food, and he'd watch me make terrible choices. Ice cream, instead of anything sustainable, that is. He'd grab something a little more filling for the both of us, and insist that I "try" some. Of course I would, because how can I say no to that face??? I can't. That's the answer. Once we'd finished up, I'd probably begin to feel the ache in my feet. Tall ass heels do that.

He'd notice and ask, and I'd brush it off for the time being. Because I'd be more focused on getting the rest of our day done! The sun would be heading towards the ground now, not quite light yet not quite sunset. We'd lock hands once more, and I'd tell him to pick out a couple things for us to do. Just because I really wanted to make sure he actually did things he wanted to, and not just went along with me. And he'd choose, because he had some ideas while we were going around. One super big and fast ride, and a couple slightly less intense ones. We'd start with a less intense one, go to the big one for a jolt of energy, and then return to less intense rides afterwards. He'd probably find it kind of amusing how overly excited I'd get after the second ride, grabbing onto him and hopping a little, standing on the tips of my toes to make sure that we met face to face as I grinned and told him how much fun it was. And it was fun because he was there -- I never would have done that alone.

By the time we'd finished all of his ride selections, my feet would really hurt. And we'd both notice, with the way I'd hiss after stepping onto the ground from the last ride. Choso would ask me how he could help, and I'd initially brush it off, before deciding to let him help me. I'd ask him if I could either get a piggy back ride or sit on his shoulders, and he'd agree quite quickly. I think we'd settle for a spot on his shoulders, where he'd hoist me up and carefully hold my legs as we walked. I'd look down at him and feel quite content, full and happy. And I'd feel extra tall. I'd love that.

I'd talk his poor ears off from up there, telling him how much I adored him, how he never ceased to impress me with all he could do, and how much fun I had. We'd probably agree to do one last ride, my favorite one, before leaving. So I'd get down from my perch to get on those big swings one last time, and we'd try to hold hands the entire time we were up there. I'd look at the carnival and I'd look at my boyfriend, in the vibrancy of the sunset's light, and realize how goddamn lucky I was to be there. With him.

Once we were finished with that, I'd hop back onto his shoulders and he'd walk us out of there, even if I kept yapping. I'd probably slow down a little by then, because I'd be a tad bit tired. But his presence would easily be enough to keep me excited, so I may just give more pauses between what I'd be saying than before. We'd go home together and crash, I'd toss off my shoes the moment we got into the home again. I'd kiss Choso's face quickly again, telling him yet more "Thank you"s for carrying my dumb ass around. And then we'd go drop onto the bed, and probably rest there for a little bit in the dark. I'd talk about all of my favorite parts of the day, and he'd tell me his, before we'd finally get ready to actually lay down. Or, I would anyway. I think he'd stay up a little later than me.

That's it. That's the thought. It's bedtime now goodnight

Thanks for reading through this all the way, if you did!! A special thanks to my friends whose encouragement means the world to me.

Short taglist: @jpeg-indulgence @moxanji-real @fl0ralsxgar @rose-greenhouse @starshakez -- thank you all sm for being here for my bs!! I appreciate tf out of each of you, and many more people who I'm just not tagging bc this is so fucking long.

[youngwonhui]

✦ live on my knees, make you see | ch. 1

*•. member: choi seungcheol x afab reader

*•. summary: the first morning of your new job doesn’t go quite as planned. Ever since then, you realized that the rest of your life slowly turned off of its axis or maybe fits into the missing space you’ve been feeling throughout your life. In the centre of it all, there’s Seungcheol. The stranger you’ve met for the second time on that same morning.

*•. genre: angst, strangers to lovers; kinda, corporate and family drama, life and misunderstanding happened in general

*•. wc: 7,723

*•. warnings: unintentionally introducing corporate drama. no, i am not projecting. maybe.

*•. cross posted in AO3

chapter 1 | chapter 2

Huffing and puffing into your first day at the new job is not ideal. But the fact that you had missed the bus and the new office building are basically needle in a haystack, so now you’re climbing upstairs, ten minutes before you’re supposed to meet your new boss.

It’s enough, probably. It’s just not ideal.

When you look up, impossibly out of breath, the sight stumped you. Nowhere was a sign that points you to the agency. Only a single black door along the hallway. Which is not the ones you’ve remembered seeing on the google maps.

Darned all the only online interviews, making you unable to familiarize yourself with the new environment. Resulting on this small kerfuffle on the very first day.

Hands on your hips, jacket slung into it, you try to organize your thought. Making a mind to knock on that door and find out some direction. That is, if there are anything behind those doors.

You are proven wrong when said door flung open. Just as you’ve raised your balled fist to knock on it. Now it just froze in the air while the figure behind the door stood wide eyed.

Immediately taking a step back and lowering your hand, you cursed your day further. It’s barely 9AM and you’re facing hurdles one after another just to get to your work. The man who you assumed is the resident behind the door remain planted on his feet. One hand holding on the knob, and another a tied-up plastic with big sign of recyclable materials on it.

You just had to get in the way a man and their trash huh?

“Hey, uh sorry I didn’t mean to disturb. I’m looking for Diamond & Carats? The agency? The address said that it’ll be in this building?” You inquire to the stunned man; hair still ruffled from sleep and clad in a mismatch pajama set. Passing moments flow when he still stares at you with what you can assumed is a shocked gaze. You hoped you don’t surprise him too much. Yet you still need some sort of answer. So you waved your hand, and the man sputters out of his thought. Muttering sorry for basically spacing out on you.

“Agency? The advertising agency?” You nodded, finally a semblance of help. “Well, you’ve missed it then. Because they’re supposed to be one floor down from here. You should go downstairs and then took a right into the corner, only then you could see the sign where the entrance is.”

“Thank you.” You were already descending down the stairs, being punctual became your number one priority for now.

Following the direction from the kind stranger, you manage to find the somewhat hidden entrance to your new office. Thankfully not looking too disheveled as you steal a glance from the big reflective glass wall displayed along the entrance. A kind receptionist has welcomed you and now leading you to a waiting room.

Way to go on your new job.

Your thought traveled back to your college days. Never were the top student, but you were always down for an opportunity of a job. That’s why you took the graveyard shift as the library’s clerk. True to your nature, the college library was never your frequent spot. That’s why the first day on your library job, this situation is almost mirroring that day. Not knowing exactly where to go.

You’re just hoping this job isn’t much like the library job. Getting more and more lost inside the maze you couldn’t even see.

Although back then the maze was clear. As clear as the big shelves by the back of those library.

As you wait to be introduced to the team, you make a mental note to thank the kind stranger upstairs. Connecting the dots, you assume he lived there as the residential tenant. Or he’s just a janitor that work in his sleepwear, which is an option you couldn’t really comprehend.

After being welcomed by your team manager, a middle aged man with some sort of sleazy tone and too much confident on his shoulder, you’re eventually introduced to your team. A small tight knit one consists of three people around your age. Soyeon, Jisun, and Chan. You were kindly informed that your predecessor left because they preferred to retire early.

“Well that’s new, but not surprising.” You smiled at Soyeon, quite literally doesn’t know what to do with the information you just received.

Accepting this job are solely based on the salary you had offered. The startup tends to offer that but hearing that your predecessor has decided to step down because they prefer to be unemployed sounds a little odd in your mind. But you kept that thought away. In store as you try to focus on every little point from the tour around office guided by your new team.

Your sleazy boss has left long ago. Making his sleazy way back to his desk before handing your introduction tour over to your team. You have a sneaky feeling that man wasn’t very fluent around the office.

They kindly explained the flow of work after introducing you basically to the whole floor. From then it’s the administrative like logging into the company’s work database, to Chan’s many tricks on working with the copy machine. Sensing that Chan is throwing out a joke, you let out a belated laughter. Half regretting how awkward and a little rude you might come out as.

Sensing that your new team are kind in nature, they probably only wanting to be kind to you so they can quickly finish any of their postponed project. Seeing that your predecessor ‘retiring’ early completely falter the team’s progress. As seen at the timeline you had skimmed through after you’re logged into the desktop.

“Thank you for all the guidance, guys, honestly. I will make sure not used the mug that shaped as a woman’s bosoms, as well as touching the Greek yoghurt in the fridge.” You dabble yourself an attempt to joke back. Relieved when each of your team laughs. They’re too kind.

Maybe your first day isn’t so bad after all.

\\

One thing you made sure in your every job are finding a safe spot for your escape from the grueling office environment. A hidden space just to have a private conversation, or better for you, smoke.

You had made sure to asks your team discreetly after the daily meeting. After your long and failed attempts to find one. To your surprise, Chan provided you with an answer. So here you are, perched on the tall wooden fence of the building’s hidden backyard/alley. Clean enough to take a breather, and discreet enough to not have too many eyes looking as it’s secluded behind the car park. You thanked whoever the building owner are for deciding to have this sort of space rather than having it unmanaged.

Exhaling through your lips, you scanned through the copies of files you had brought. Lists of report from your predecessor regarding each progress of the projects handled by your now current team. Stumped doesn’t even begin to describe your state of thoughts. Although progressing somewhat nicely, there are few times that some projects are held back due to vague reasons. And that doesn’t seem weird, but if said vague reasons are repeated many times, that’s just suspicious to your eyes.

Folding the papers and stuffing it back to your jacket pocket, you decided to put a bookmark on that and just enjoy your cig for now. Freeing your mind through the toxic stick. You cursed for not bringing your favourite scarf with you today, as the wind blew a chilling breeze to your neck. Despite the blazing sunlight.

Your eyes eventually landed to the opened window on the topmost floor of the building. There’s a man basking in the sunlight with his back facing you. The worn-out neckline of the white T-shirt are showing you a patch of skin decorated in tattoos. The view is not very clear as you’re almost ten meters apart.

There's a tuft of messy brown hair illuminated under the sunlight. It further convinces you that it's the man that helped you at your first day. Without hesitation, you picked up a stray pebble. Sizeable enough to throw and make some noise. And some noise you make as the stone make contact against the polished concrete wall. A few feet beside the opened window. And some attention you gained. The turned back now facing you.

“Hey, you.” You started, trying your best not to be too loud.

“I'm gonna assume you're trying to get my attention and not aiming straight at my head.” The man replied with a slight smirk. His eyes squint at you, blinded by sunlight.

“Don’t worry, i have great aim.”

“I see, you’re just bad with direction then.”

“Touché. You still remember me.” You laugh lightly, throwing the cigarette butt into your portable ashtray. “I still just wanted to thank you for that day you know. It was my first day here. I’m also sorry for barging like that.”

“Seungcheol, Choi. Everybody calls me Cheol. Also, no worries. The office downstairs are not very visible with their signs. I sent back too many delivery packages back down because they’re also not familiar with the place.”

“I’m Y/n, glad to meet you.”

With a mock salute and a nod from the man perched on upstairs window, your smoking break ended like that. Before you immediately rushed inside when you saw a glimpse of your watch.

Upstairs, an amused smile painted in Seungcheol lips. Glad of the surprise he got for today, in a form of you.

As it turns out bumping into Seungcheol is as easy as it gets.

From walking into the building together in the morning, to occasional talk whenever you’re on your smoke break. Whether Seungcheol are perched on his window or just simply on the level ground as yours. You don’t question as why he is making a way back to his place at 8AM, looking as if he’s having a rough night just by the nest of messy hair he’s sporting. He doesn’t question the apparent stress etched into your feature. Getting more and more prominent in each day you took your smoke break.

Once he paid a visit to the office, knocking lightly at the glass door when you’re coincidentally passing by. In his one hand is a tube of a sample posters. Mistakenly left by his door by the courier. You thanked him before turning back in. Fighting the urge to cooed at the fluffy white dog in his other hand.

On one of the mornings, you bumped to Seungcheol looking quite haggard, he blurted out that he’s just spend few nights up in a jam session. You managed to stop him as he rambled and assured him that you didn’t think that he just came back from a heist. You calmly told Seungcheol that he doesn’t owe you any explanation for the way he’s look at that chilly morning.

“Yeah, sorry for rambling. Long story short i’m a music producer. Not that it expla-”

“Hey, Seungcheol. It’s cool. Breathe.” You paused in front of the stairs. Seungcheol mirroring you before taking a deep breath. He then looks to you through his long lashes, before bursting into small laughter. Feeling how ridiculous he might have been.

“Sorry, it’s too early for me to bug you huh?”

“Nah, it’s alright. Besides, i sort of done this to you too, remember?” You continue your steps to your office. Like before, Seungcheol follow your action. Making his way back home.

“That’s true.”

The climbing up the stairs then filled with comfortable silence. Before parting ways as you had to make a turn to your office, you call to Seungcheol one last time.

“I’m a project manager. If that explained anything.” You smiled as you shrug. The sight of Seungcheol smile bid your goodbye as you turn your back to him. Heading straight to the office while Seungcheol climbs one more floor back to his house.

One night, you were working overtime to finish the last touches to the project, and you were ordering some takeout for dinner. After thanking the courier, you were helping the old man to navigate a way out when Seungcheol just making his way upstairs. Presumably going back home.

“Are you working late?” Seungcheol offhandedly remarks, pointing to the big bag of chinese takeout you’re holding.

You had ordered too much pot stickers. In your defense it was a buy one gets one promo. You failed to think out that you were eating for one.

“It happened so. Much to catch up, so little time.”

“Well, godspeed.” Seungcheol offered you a pumped-up fist as a good luck. For some reason, an impulse thought passed by your head. As Seungcheol begin his trek upstairs back to his home.

“Would you—” Your voice stopped the man. Turning to face you, mid-stairs. “Do you like pot stickers? or maybe shrimp fried rice? I happened to order too many.” You raised the plastic bags. Seungcheol looks like he's having contemplating thought.

“Sure, i could go for pot stickers.” You quickly walk over to handed Seungcheol the food, but the taller man stopped your hand midair. A question hanging by the tip of his tongue.

“Do you want some beer with your dinner? Maybe take some break?”

\\

“You're torturing yourself. A can of beer with your dinner is such a treat. You'll sleep well afterwards too.”

On a whim, you had quickly agreed to be invited over to Seungcheol's apartment. Foregoing the dark and empty office as you gather the work papers and laptop and then vacated to Seungcheol's spacious living room. Clear coffee table now filled with a spread of chinese takeout with cans of beer belonging to each of you.

Laughing at the way you've been distancing yourself with beer, Seungcheol took one pot sticker in one bite. Humming at the way the crispy skin enveloping the warm filling. You share a look of acknowledgement. Earning a thumbs up as you took pride of the restaurant you had frequent in.

“I'm giving you the number of the restaurant. They deliver faster through there rather than when you ordered through app.” You had finished with your fried rice, sipping the cold beer to wash the grease. “Although maybe they do it faster because i'm their number one customer.”

“That's too bad.” Seungcheol slumped back to his couch, a brief pout on his lips before taking another quick bite. “Guess i have to go through you so i can get fast delivery. Or some extra food.”

“You make it sounds like i'm a dealer.” You retort, looking up from editing the graph data in your laptop.

“No, but you’re kinda gatekeeping.” He points his chopsticks at you accusingly, you only shook your head before returning your attention back to the laptop.

“Are you sure you’re okay with me being here like this?” You muttered, not sparing a glance.

“Well i live here alone, And with the dog of course. If i don’t like it i can just kick you out, you know.” Seungcheol replied, accompanied by a teasing smirk and a shrug.

“Ouch, that’s not very neighbourly of you.”

“How about you? no one that’s gonna worry about you back home?”

You can only scoff lightly, fingers flying on your keyboard to fix up a typo.

“I’m a grown adult. No one have to worries about me.” You said with a tight smile on your lips.

“Well as a neighbourly duty, i’ll be the one. It’s dangerous to be alone downstairs in your office. Feel free to knock upstairs if you’re feeling lonely when you work overtime.”

“I might work overtime often to be honest. With the way the company work.” You paused, pursing your lips in slight frustration. “It’s been almost two weeks and everything is weird, well mostly my boss. My team are fairly kind and welcoming. Which is kind of admirable with the things they have went through.”

“What do you mean?” To Seungcheol’s question, you slowly put aside your laptop and hold up stack of papers you fish out of the piles you brought with you. Scooting closer to him. When Seungcheol realizes you’re showing him a bunch of companies’ data his eyes grown wide. “Are you sure you’re allowed to show me these?”

“Seungcheol you’re a music producer, what? You’re not secretly an employee of a chemical waste or biofuel company, aren’t you?”

A dry chuckle escapes Seungcheol lips as he shook his head. Slight ecstatic that you had remembered his occupation he had mentioned on a fly a few days back when you’re both making a way into the building at early morning. He had to defend the gnarly look in his face that clearly shown he hasn’t sleep or took a shower for days.

“So what is this tea you’re showing me?” Seungcheol prompted, eyes skimming through the graphs and datas you shown him.

“So to put it simply, as it turns out my boss has been embezzling money through some of my team’s old projects. And that is without them knowing. Them being my team. Not to mention his deep connection with some of our clients which, well let’s just say it could be categorized as corporate collusion.” With a downturned smile, you look over to Seungcheol who looks like he’s just been splashed with a bucket of water.

“Y/n this is big?” You nod, taking back the papers of evidence from Seungcheol’s hand. He simply doesn’t want to dip his hand further into this. “Are you- what are you going to do with this?”

“At the meeting tomorrow, i’m planning to show this to the board of investors. As well as the CEO. Some small group of people who’s in charge. I have all the data classified as anonymous but i have all of my team’s confession as well as some of other team.” You sighed deeply, a small dreaded vine weaved through you but you had remembered how some of your team has been nothing but kind to you and you can’t just let your boss use them for just a tool to fill his wallet. “I am sorry Seungcheol i didn’t mean to drop all of this corporate bullshit on you.”

“Uh, no don’t worry. I’m sure it’s been hard for you and your team. Especially since you’re new at that company.” Seungcheol assures you calmly. Shifting in his seat as you resigned back, sighing in half anticipation and half anxiety. “I’m glad you can trust me enough to spill all of this though.”

“Is it weird that i’m not very scared for this?” You rattle the stack of paper in your hand. “I kind of just wanted this to end soon so that i could continue work peacefully.”

“I don’t think it is. You just don’t want any jerk doing bullshit in your work. That’s understandable.” Seungcheol shrugged, assuring you of your feeling. The buzz in your system somewhat helps to his statement. “Although maybe you can treat your team for a drinks? When this all over? They kind of deserved it more.” Seungcheol reaching over across to grab your can of beer before handing it to you. His is already in hand, then offering a cheer. “Godspeed for your meeting tomorrow?”

“Cheers.”

\\

Relief, that’s what you feel at first. The long and winding meeting goes somewhat smoothly and as you had expected, none of them had catch up on what your boss has done. You can’t really grasp what they feel at first but the seething tone and the gradually visible lines of frustration and anger as they turn pages and pages of your so-called report of ‘evidence’ assures you a little bit.

They sent you away at noon, thanking you of what you’ve presented before you make your way back to your team room. Passing by the spacious room of your boss, feet propped up on the desk. Incognizant while doing virtually no work.

You’re immediately swarmed with question as soon as your team saw you enter the room. You quickly urged them to stay calm and make no fuss.

“Are we in trouble?” Jisun whispered lowly, the apparent anxiousness and fear shown in her demeanour.

“We all know who deserve to be in trouble. And none if it is us.” Chan’s statement followed with agreeing nods along the room. Still keeping any noise down between yourself and the team.

“Chan is right. For now, we need to keep everything on the lowkey as we let the board and the people in charge took care of the problem yeah?” You reassure the room, looking over the pairs of eyer gazing back at you with worries.

“I’m sorry, but how are you being so calm about this?” Soyeon lean over her desk, closer to you in curiousness.

“Although it’s never been this big, sadly it’s not even my first rodeo. I work in too many places where people are just jerks and serial bulshitters.” You deadpanned before turning back to the work at hand. Then remembering Seungcheol words last night, you look up around the room to your team.

Your whole life, you were never the sentimental type. Workplace relationship is never the one thing you tries to maintain. Simply because you go through your job as quickly as you need it to be. Or more like, as much as your bills need.

The situation never lets you have the luxury to pursue anything as glimmering as a love life. The acquaintances you made along the way, you are truly thankful even though at times those relationship felt like a transaction.

“Hey, listen. Is everybody free tonight? After work? Let’s get some drinks and bites, it’s on me.”

While Soyeon and Jisun exchange a look, Chan immediately raises his hand in agreement. An excited smile etched in his face, the lip piercing glinting under the light. Within a beat, Jisun and Soyeon agrees to your invitation eventually.

The impromptu celebration was the perfect cover. Your unsuspecting boss might think that you and your team simply letting loose after a long successful project, but in reality, you are celebrating for other things as well. It is also a time to regroup and properly getting to know who you’re working with. Not only the brief conversation between hustling to meet deadline that hurdles you one after another.

So now, sitting comfortably at the outdoor table of the restaurant, you’re ordering the second round of cocktails to accompany the stream of gleeful conversations going on. It’s perfect, you think. If the walls powered by your social battery slowly crumbling, you could slip away easily into the crowds of people.

Unfortunately, your coworker is the friendly type of drunk.

After letting loose of any work burden by the end of the first round. You spend the next thirty minutes trying to deflect any attention turned towards you.

“Okay, am i the only one that is getting interviewed here? None of you obviously need to know how many times i’ve been in relationship.” You laughed as you finished, then taking a sip of your beer. It reminded you of someone.

“Well, we’re basically know everything about each other here. So yeah.” Chan chuckled, Jisun and Soyeon nodded accordingly.

It doesn’t help that they basically introduced themselves as a group regarding everything you possibly needed to know. Maybe sometimes wen’t overboard when Jisun casually mentioned that Chan spent a night in jail once for beating up a pervert in a subway station.

The three has been a close friend since before they even enter the company. Somehow the synergy resulted from their friendship reflected well in each other work, yet still maintaining to keep each other in check as they strive to win a challenge. You clearly admire them. Not just at their reliability, but also the way they can found solace as well as ignited spirit. They’re each other’s person.

“I know we’re kinda not in the mood to talk about work.” Jisun hesitantly begins, earning your attention as well as a curious eyes from her friends. “But what do you think will happen? About you know who.”

“I’m sure you all read the final document i sent last night?” Your coworkers nodded. “I can assure you i’ve mentioned none of any informant, so no repercussion will find its way to you. The next step, well i can only imagine the board will conduct meeting on how to safely remove ‘you know who’. They wouldn’t like to be tricked for their money. Especially in such company like ours. Although, there’s probability that the corruption runs deep. Meaning that a few in the upper management took their hand deep in the same jar as ‘you know who’.”

You had your suspicion. Yet you still took the evidence to the board.

As cliché as it sounds, you can’t stand injustice. If anything happened, you have your evidence after long winded lowkey digging into the financial team, as well as putting together those evidence which obviously isn’t your main specialty. Perhaps because none of your job history has required you to do so.

Or worst case scenario you get fired. And that’s that.

“Wait but doesn’t it mean that there’s a chance that you might be in trouble?” Jisun voiced out. You simply shrug to push the thought aside. Right on time when the waiter had come over to deliver your drinks. You easily urged the increasingly worried bunch to drink.

“Well we can’t never be too sure, can’t we? Even if we have steel evidence. Now let’s just drink!”

The three hesitantly exchanged glances before taking a hesitant sip.

Never in your mind that you’d sacrifice this much. Just to what? Protect a few innocent people who might or might not be in trouble? You shook your head to push the thoughts away.

It might hurt to lose a steady source of income, you thought instead. But you always know one or two kid who needs tutoring, or that one convenience store that always need a part timer. A few moments to cool down before going back to the job hunt.

Disgustingly vicious cycle, but you’re no stranger to that.

You had found out that focusing on your job like a mad man is better than another path down to the edge. At least you’re well enough. But does it make you happy enough?

\\

“How’s the big bad meeting?”

Unsurprisingly, Seungcheol had made a visit to your hidden—apparently not so hidden backyard. He emerges from the parking lot exit, carrying a bundle of white in his arms. A pair of shiny glasses perched at his wavy hair as he’s cladded in a red puffer vest.

“It is neither big nor bad. It went well in case you’re wondering. Or somewhat— i don’t know.” You can’t help to shrug off. Not wanting to acknowledge the apparent silent front the upper management has been doing. It is not helping that your so-called boss is having ‘business meeting’ out of office for a few days. Which you don’t know the detail.

“Why doesn’t it sound very reassuring?” There’s a genuine concern in his tone. Shifting closer to where you stood. You instinctively put out your cigarette, after realizing that the very white bundle is his dog with a pink bow.

“Simply said that i’ve done what i need to do, and still waiting for answer. So yeah, maybe reassurance is a rare sight for me.” You paused, entire focus stolen from the man in front of you and into the fluffy being he held.

“Oh yeah, this is Kkuma. I realized i haven’t introduced you to her. She’s pretty much my daughter.” You recognized the proud smile painted on his face. As well as the soft smile with a gaze you could only describe as loving.

“Well hello Kkuma, aren’t you a cutie.” You make a small wave, bowing down closer to came face to face with the dog.

To your surprise, the little dog makes a surge forward to eventually licked your face. With a slight shock you look up to Seungcheol a moment, then back to the excited dog. You spend no time to gift her friendly scratches and pats.

“I always wanted a pet.” You begin, already pulling away to not overexcite the little fluff. “Princess Kkuma here makes me rethinking an old dream.” Your confession sends you both into a fit of laughter.

“What’s stopping you? This little princess has been a blessing for me ever since she arrives.” It’s such a sight to see a man of Seungcheol stature to hold the little white fluffy creature with such loving and care.

“Well, my whole life it was just me any my mother. And she wasn’t very well for such a long time. So having a pet wasn’t very ideal. And then after she passed, i’m just too occupied with other things, i can’t even think about getting a little friend.” You reasoned; an upturned smile quickly returns back to an unchanged face when Kkuma bark softly to you.

“Y/n i’m so sorry, i- well. You could always knock on my door, if you’d like to meet this princess.” You could feel the slight tension Seungcheol hid behind his words. But you brush it off like always.

Glancing at the time, you eventually excused yourself to Seungcheol. Hands in your pocket as you walk away and back into the building. Climbing sets of stairs back to your desk to wait around. And giving each of your teammate a reassuring smile every time you spot them staring at their screen with familiar dread.

A few days later, the rush of footsteps quickly welcomes you as you enter the front door of the office. Startling both you and the poor receptionist. You were not early admittedly, but you weren’t too late. So you don’t expect such fuss. You look up from your thick bundle of your scarf and quickly recognized your three teammates has swarmed you with a gleeful expression mirroring in each other.

“Have you check your email?”

“It’s done!”

“Ding-dong the witch is dead!”

It’s a continuous series of excited whispering as the three practically corners you back into the wall. Wide eyed and eventually realizing what’s going on, you look around the room and quickly shot an apologetic look to anyone who’s disturbed by the sudden commotion. You hastily ushered the excited bunch to your work room. Then sat them down with shushing motion like you would do with children.

“Okay. Now, with precise and workplace appropriate tone and volume, explain to me what happened.” You begin, eyeing the three as they exchange glances. Unfurling the scarf from your neck and neatly folding them on top of your desk.

Wordlessly, the bunch elected Jisun to lift up the phone in her hand and show you the email they had excitedly asks. It was a blast email, directed to everyone in the company. A short paragraph detailing that your boss, has been removed from the company for theft and misappropriation of project for his own benefit. The removal is effective immediately.

After skimming the short email signed by the CEO. You silently look up with mouth slightly agape in surprised. Then beginning to open your own mailbox to check if it’s not a mere trickery.

Sure to it, there’s the same email but followed by a private message directed only to you. Simply stating that your boss has been taken on a business trip as a trick from the board and CEO to corner him and break the news to him. To minimalize the possibility of commotion in the office. Also to keep things private and and as lowkey as possible. The next step as well as evidence already handed to the legal team to investigate further.

You try to suppress a smile. Bad thing to overjoy over one's misfortune. But the relief you felt feeling like it’s a pure oxygen flowing through your vein. Simply invigorating, as clearly shown between the three in front of you.

As if an invisible chain just came off of them. Jisun, Soyeon, and Chan has a continuous smile etched to their face even until one by one said goodbye to you once the clock hits 5PM. As you begin to clean up and get ready to go home, you can’t help to smile to yourself as well. Quite in disbelief over the amount of happiness you can get over helping people. You team who you barely know for less than six months.

Suddenly your thought flew to the man resides upstairs.

Then, in a blink of an eye your feet have led you there. Knocking the door with a pack of beer Chan has hidden in his secret stash beside the copier. You had promised to repay him back.

“Hey, Y/n.”

Holding up the beer in your hand, Seungcheol show off his smile before stepping aside and letting you in. Unlike the first time that you’re welcome to a fairly kempt place, now there’s a few splayed-out papers in the coffee table surrounding the crumpled-up burger wrappers as well as half eaten fries. Complete with clothes strewn all over the place, you try to maintain a straight face but Seungcheol’s quick senses are faster.

“Wait, let me clean up a little.” Seungcheol rushes to throw away any trash, his quick steps eventually pulling the attention of his dog. Which ended up being too curious and following every step he takes. “Kkuma, please. I almost walk all over you.”

Feeling rather burdensome, you quickly put the beers down and then you try to gain Kkuma’s attention instead to distract her from hindering Seungcheol’s attempt. Still walking around the apartment, Seungcheol mouthing a thank you as he collects a T-shirt on top of the dining table. You had made your spot on the hallway, sitting cross legged on the floor as Kkuma whimpering softly to gain your full attention. Her paw tapping lightly at the end of your soft scarf.

Moments later, Seungcheol re-appear with a grin. Catching his breath in a new set of clothes and a beanie. Presumably hiding a wild tuft of hair. You shot him an impressed look. Eyes widened and a questioning smile over the attire change.

“I sweat too much from running around.” He simply reasoned, joining you on the floor. His eyes trained to his dog. Kkuma already curled up beside you, chewing a strawberry plushie. You had delegated your scarf as a makeshift cushion beside her when Kkuma persist on the colourful garment that’s previously wrapped around your neck.

“I’m sorry though, i don’t mean to barge in tonight. I shouldn’t hav-”

“Shush, you’re bringing me beer.” Seungcheol leaned back across from you. You could see signs of exhaustion in his face and it brought a feeling similar of sadness in you. “Besides, i’ve been in such a rut. I couldn’t find time to clean up at all. So, you being here is kinda helping.”

Offering a can to him, he quickly opens it before clinking it to your already opened ones.

“So, to what do i owe the pleasure?” Seungcheol questions.

“Well now i-” You hesitated for a moment. Feeling the lump of unease slowly coming up, barging in and bringing your good mood when Seungcheol is showing fatigue while having no time to even clean up his apartment. But the look in his eyes. The big and encouraging look that lies atop his somewhat charming eyebags. “Well i have good news about my boss.”

You try to not imagine how Seungcheol’s eyes glow brighter upon your words. Then, to your following silence Seungcheol quickly nods in understanding over your slight hesitation. You continue while explaining that there’s so little that you can really share around. So, he took your good news with him, that’s enough.

“I’m sorry.” Your pardon took his full attention. “I came here without thinking and just barging in like a kid in a candy store.” You smile apologetically.

“No Y/n, you shouldn’t. It’s a weird corporate thing, i truly understand. I think i should be the one to apologize though. You’re here hoping to share the good news with a friend and met with a shipwreck instead.” Seungcheol chuckled, then taking a swig of his beer. The can seemingly light in his grip with the speed he’s taken to down the content.

The silence followed drowns his word to realization. The heaviness of it. The bitter smile Seungcheol tries to hide eventually surfacing. Its appearance further prove the state Seungcheol is in. His initial jokes have lost its meaning when reality kicks in.

“You’re not a shipwreck Seungcheol.” You voiced out softly. “I might be in no help in an artistic or musical side, but hey since we’re ‘friend’ then you can talk to me.” Your emphasis on friend instantly bursting out a smile from Seungcheol. Yours followed suit.

“It’s the usual, really. I get too overwhelmed with work and then can’t really write anything worth a dime. Then, i neglect everything before indulging on unhealthy meal before forcing myself to stay awake until i get any semblance of some melody that’s maybe good enough.” Seungcheol smiles bitterly, crushing the empty can of beer into the wooden floor before fidgeting with his beanie.

You blinked at the sight in front of you. Minding the dog that’s now fallen fast asleep on your side, you make a shift forward to sit right in front of Seungcheol. Now his attention is up to you.

“Give me your hand, both of them.” You hold out your palm to Seungcheol. To your little surprise, he gives in to lay both of his hand on top of yours. Palms up as you shot him a quick thanks before bringing his hand together, yours enclosing around his interlaced fingers. “It’ll be better if you close your eyes.” Seuncheol follows suit. Sighing when he can feel your hands squeezing his before caressing it softly. “My mom used to do this to me out of nowhere. When she became sick at the hospital, she does this whenever i’m about to leave. I like to think that’s her way to make me feel calm.”

Seungcheol eyes flutter open at your recollection. He’s welcomed by the sight of your smiling face down to the joined hands. With all his might, Seungcheol swallowed down the words he’s about to say. He likes to think that his body remembers. Years and years have passed but his body remembers.

How nice it is to be held by you.

“Your mother sounds great.” Seungcheol find himself whispers. Quickly replied by your chuckle before you let go of his hand and giving it one last pat. Seungcheol tries to hold back the whine in his throat.

Thankfully you didn’t make change on your proximity.

“Well she’s like most mothers. All great until she thinks their child is causing trouble. Which is probably most of the time for her.” You paused, a whisper of smile grazing your face. As it’s been a long time since you talk about your mother. The sudden topic of reminiscence jogs a happy memory in your mind. “Although i do understand her. It’s never been easy to raise a child alone, right?”

“Not that i have a child, but i think so.” Seungcheol would like to know more about your story, but for now he’s willing to stay where he’s at. Straying off of any possible uncomfortable topic.

You squint your eyes playfully at Seungcheol. Taking note of how the lines in his face has visibly soften. You like to think he’s loosened up due to the alcohol in his bloodstream. But you might never know.

“How could you disregard Kkuma like that. She’s right there.”

Seungcheol covers his mouth to stop himself to burst out laughing. Doesn’t wanna disturb his dog snoozing nearby, his heart clenched at the sight of your scarf. You smile at the way the outer corner of his eyes wrinkle endearingly and the dimple deepened. But he might never know.

\\

It is safe to say that work has been smooth sailing as of late. Although there’s small commotion outside of your boss’ office, when the legal team is doing a sweep of any document in there. Now, the room remained locked with its lights off. Hiding all the remnants of strewn papers and anything that’s deemed unimportant.

It sparks a happiness when you observe how your team work happily day by day. Unlike the first time you saw them, how they reminded you of a litter of abandoned kitten.

Sure, you and your team need to adjust to your new team manager, but the transition has been a trouble-free one. And you thanked your team for the full cooperation. Helping you when bumped into any obstacle regarding all the old files or project.

The day ended when your team manager thanked you and your team for the recent successful pitch on an ad campaign. Grinning the moment your team manager left, Chan sets off a howling cheer with the rest in tow.

“So, anyone up for a celebration?” You voiced out the idea, which sadly met with uneasy exchange of glances.

“I have to take a raincheck on that. I got a date waiting for me at the italian restaurant nearby.” Chan quickly shoulders on his bag and make a quick exit. Probably trying to avoid his friends teasing.

“We’re so sorry Y/n we got a pre-ordered tickets for a movie. But you’re welcome to join in? I’m sure there’s still available ticket.” Jisun points to herself and Soyeon, eyes all expectants.

But you noticed the small underlying hesitancy in both. You could easily interpret it, you weren’t born yesterday.

“Ahh, no i wouldn’t want to impose on your date.” You said that with a wink. Hoping to alleviate any awkwardness as your words send the two into a fit of giggle.

Quickly saying goodbye, they left you to your own device. The opened window on your desktop is just showing mostly planning for new project meeting. You feel like you’re owed to have a night off. The sun is barely setting, you’re contemplating to pay Seungcheol another surprise visit.

And then you did.

As a repayment for taking Chan’s stock of refreshment, you had stocked the mini fridge used by your team. Beers, gatorade, or even the mango yoghurt Jisun always have for dessert. You took enough beer and then sets off upstairs. Bidding goodbye to any employee still hanging around to finish a deadline or just simply wasting time until the night falls.

With your shirt already unbuttoned at two top, and jacket slung on your arm, you try you best to look as relaxed as possible.

It’s weird that nowadays, these habits came to you like it’s deserved. Visiting Seungcheol always resulting in a time spent inside a bubble of coziness. Where you could let down all guards and freely let yourself laughs as he makes a cute mistake when he’s trying to brag about his cooking skill. Or when Kkuma refuses to listen to him and Seungcheol proudly calling it a talent.

A chuckle escaped your lips, standing in front of the familiar door as you wait for the resident to opens it and welcomes you in. You almost looking forward to seeing the messy tuft of hair, sometimes falls down into his long lashes but never quite obstructing his view as you noticed that Seungcheol has this habit to runs his fingers to his hair as an attempt to keep it in place.

Eventually you hear the doorknob clicking open. Looking up, the sight welcomes you are far from what you had expected. Not even in million years as a pair of bright brown eyes knock the air out of your lungs completely.

The figure behind the door was not Seungcheol. But it wasn’t a stranger. Yet not an acquaintance either. Just another person who had made appearance in your thought. Glued to an idea, imagination of all the ‘what could’ and ‘what if’.

You had never been shy to admit that your mother raises you as an unwed single mother. People had never been nosy enough to seek out why, or where your father has been. It seems like it’s clear in your demeanor that you’re not even gonna acknowledge him in your life.

People could assume, but you and your mother knew the truth. Of your father’s whereabout and how his life going. Possibly thousand miles away from the life he left behind, and into the one he actually lived with a new family.

One of them you saw today.

“Y/n?” The stranger muttered. The proximity allowing you to hear it loud and clear.

You feel like you can’t breathe, yet your bloodstream flow quicker that waterfalls. The can of beer already drops to the floor. As you took a stumbling step back, your confounding mind tries to plan a way to escape the present situation.

Pivoting on an unsure foot, you almost stumble before making your way to the stairs. Hands flew to make it to the handle, but there’s faster ones giving you balance. The familiar dark pool of brown eyes came to your sight.

“S- seungcheol.” The words barely made it out of your lips, but the important ones never.

No explanation of why you’re fleeing from his opened front door while clearly in distress. Well, it’s not that you have extensive explanation as of why your father’s son suddenly made an appearance into your life. So you could only remain silent as your shaking arms held tight by Seungcheol.

Steadying Kkuma in his other hand, Seungcheol gaze back to his opened front door. Frowning at the sight of the frozen figure, pale as his eyes fixed to the back of your neck as if he’s seen a ghost. Bright brown eyes not even looking at the questioning glare from Seungcheol. “Hansol?”

With this you shook your arms free of Seungcheol’s hold and then making your way down the stairs and out of the building. Disregarding the faint call from Seungcheol in your rush.

\\

|| next chapter

fun fact, the first excerpts written for this fic was in 2017

[silusvesuius]

Please share some knowledge of how did you learn to use colors in your art is such ways? It looks amazing! Any inspo maybe?

got another ask before also asking about colors so u have this.. truth is i actually don't know anything don't listen to me but if u find this helpful then :) good ; @ somewhere i think i literally lost the point i was trying to make but i hope this is somehow comprehensible

[greatgoddyke]

time to make your choice only you can be the one