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fiveisnumber1 · 4 years ago

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Timeless - Five Hargreeves x Reader

Main story parts:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31

_________________________

Pt 31 - Commission Issues

As you zoned out looking at the sky and wondering about the possibilities of what would come next you hear Luther call out behind you,

"Five!"

Coming back to reality you turn towards the sound and watch as Luther follows Five back into the apartment building. You decide to follow them as well but not before looking at Klaus and Ben on the ground and say,

"Whatever that was, I'm going to ignore it but you two need to figure out where the others went while I help Five with whatever idea he has next, okay?"

"Uhh...sure" Klaus groans as he stands up

"Fine, we will," Ben adds

You nod your head and turn around rushing to follow the two boys who were heading inside the building. As you followed them up the staircase you could hear Luther exclaim,

"Hey! Five, doomsday is still coming. We gotta think of a new plan."

"Don't you get it, Luther? It's over, all right? We're already dead." Five complains

"Then where are you going?" Luther questions

"I'm going to do the unthinkable." Five replies frustratedly "The hell is that supposed to mean?" Luther follows up

As the three of you enter the apartment you hear Five mumble to himself, "I was really hoping it wouldn't come to this."

With that, he enters what used to be Elliott's bedroom and shuts and locks the door behind him. Luther leans up against it knocking and yelling, "Come to what, Five? Five! Come to what? Five!"

Luther bangs on the door calling out Five's name over and over again to no response. You step next to Luther and when he looks down at you, you say,

"Let me talk to him."

Luther nods at you knowing that you were probably the best option to talk to him. If anybody was going to calm down and reason with him, it was going to be you. As Luther walks away to the living room portion of the apartment, you phase through the bedroom door. Once you enter, you watch as Five paces back and forth complaining to himself,

"All we had to do was get together on time. That was it! those idiots screw everything up."

"Five..." You say

"I do everything to try and save us from impending doom and I can't even rely on them for the simplest of tasks!" He continues to complain

"Five." You try again

"I bet they'll blame it all on me again too!"

"Five!" You call out grabbing his hand

Five stops pacing and his head snaps towards you.

"What?!" He snapped

You were taken aback by his outburst, your eyes going wide at the harsh tone of his voice. You could see the frustration on his face and the anger in his eyes. You knew deep down that he was just worried, but sometimes his emotions didn't come easy and it hurt you to see him so upset.

Five was done with the constant threat of the apocalypse. With not being listened to and with plan after plan to get everyone home failing. He wanted to run away from it all but then he saw the shocked look on your face, and his mind flashed back to all those years ago when you both were children. He recalled the anger and frustration he felt at his father not listening to him and not believing in his ability to time travel. The rage that burned inside him because things had not gone the way he wanted. And he remembered the way you held onto him and the shocked look on your face as he took his anger out on you. Those moments, that day, burned themselves into his mind and plagued him through his whole life. He had always regretted that day, and probably always would but there was no way he was going to make the same mistake twice. Five's head looked down shamefully as he quietly apologized,

"I'm sorry..."

Letting go of his hand you take a step forward and gently cradle his face in your hands, tilting his head up slightly so he can look at you. You look into his eyes and the anger you saw before was replaced with pain. Softly you cooed,

"It's okay darling."

"No. It's not. I shouldn't have done it." Five replied hurt "We both remember the last time I took my anger out on you and look how great that turned out."

Five turned his head slightly to look away from you. He couldn't believe himself for directing his anger towards you when you didn't do anything wrong. When you've never done anything wrong. If anything he had done wrong towards you. You knew Five regretted the day you both traveled through time. He had mentioned it to you a few times but sometimes he'd have a far-off look and you could just tell that his thoughts of that day were consuming him again. He lived with so much pain due to his actions and their consequences and you wished you could just take it all away. You tilted his face back towards you and tried to comfort him,

"Five, I don't blame you for what happened that day, it was the result of years of cruelty from your father, and no offense to them, but your siblings have let you down consistently over what has only been two weeks for you. You had and have every right to be upset."

"You're correct but that didn't and doesn't make it right for me to take it out on you." Five calmly explained "It was wrong then and it's wrong now. I'm sorry."

"It's okay my love." you forgive

"How can you be so forgiving of me? After everything I've done?" Five questions

"Five I knew who you were before that day, and I know you now. People make mistakes, and you're no exception, but it's the actions you took after them that prove you're a good person and worthy of forgiveness." You inform

Five just looks at you for a second before stepping forward and wrapping you tightly in his arms. You remove your hands from his face and wrap your arms around his neck hugging him back. He loved you so much and god knows what he would do if he lost you again. He didn't want to lose his family either. He'd never say it especially because he's tried to show it to no avail, but he cared about his siblings. They were his family and he wanted them to live just as much as he wanted you to. The apocalypse was coming and time was running out for you and his family. And that worried him. As you hug him, you can feel his face bury into the crook of your neck. Gently, you stroke his hair as he quietly says,

"They make it so hard. I just want you all to live."

"I know, but you have a brilliant mind and I know you'll figure out how to get us out of here." You whisper back to him

Five shakes his head on your shoulder before he lifts his head to rest his forehead against yours.

"I don't deserve you." He remarks

"Say that again and I'll kill you." you threaten

Five lets out a light chuckle and a smirk comes to his face. He could not tell how serious your statement was but he found your threat of violence to be cute anyway. You and Five pull your faces back from each other and Five just looks at you for a second. He truly did not know how he could live without you. Nodding his head, Five straightened up and said,

"Alright, I have a hail mary plan in mind but I have to figure out some details first."

"Okay. While you do that I think I'm going to go check to see if Charlie is around. No guarantees he's come this way yet but just in case he has I want to let him know I'm okay." You reply

You nod your head at him and start to walk away but when you get to the door you turn back to look at him again and add,

"If you figure out your plan and I'm not back, just go without me I'll wait here."

"Okay." Five replies "I love you."

"I love you too."

You then exit the room and let your boyfriend be. He was going to need the time and space to figure out what to do. As you walk out you see that Luther had passed out on the couch in the living room. Stopping the apocalypse was a pretty tiring affair. You walked out of the apartment and looked around the street. It was pretty barren and a lot of shops were closed given that JFK was in town. Most people had probably headed downtown to see the motorcade later today. it sure would be eventful. You couldn't really see Charlie's car anywhere and you were about to turn around when you hear what sounded like a woman yell out,

"HELP!"

Immediately, your instincts kicked in and you ran towards the voice screaming out. Following it down an alley you stopped and looked around for who was in danger. Before you could turn around though something jabbed into your back and you started to feel dizzy. You tried to fight off whatever was happening but it was too late and you collapsed to the group. As your consciousness started to fade in and out, the last thing you heard was someone saying,

"I'm sure your brother will be happy to see you."

Back at the apartment, Five had finally come to terms with his plan. He needed to intercept the last person he'd want to see in this timeline. Himself. An older-looking version of him had arrived in Dallas no more than 10 minutes ago to kill President Kennedy and although it was risky, if they could get the briefcase from him, Five knew he could get his family home. He needed to prepare though. Rushing out of the bedroom, Five heads towards the kitchen and loudly opens the refrigerator door. The sound of the fridge causes Luther to wake. And as he gets up from the couch he calls out,

"Five? Five?"

Five ignored the calls as he grabbed a container of water and started to chug it down. When Luther entered the kitchen he looked upon the sight before him of Five intensely drinking water. Furrowing his eyebrows, Luther asks confused,

"Five, you okay?"

Five gasps heavily as he finishes the water and puts the container back in the fridge. "I'm gonna need to be hydrated." Five states

"Hydrated?" Luther questions

Luther watches as Five frantically looks around the kitchen for something before having his eyes lock on the kitchen table. Five walks over to it and quickly grabs a bottle of baby powder off of it before sprinkling some down each sleeve of his shirt and then some down his pants. Luther grew concerned about what was going on as he inquires,

"What's with the baby powder?" "It'll help with the itching." Five responds "What itching? There's itching? What the hell is going on here?" Luther asks before realizing "You do have a plan." Five does a few jumps and shakes to even out the baby powder he had practically doused himself in. Grabbing his jacket from the chair he walks past Luther into the living room of Elliott's apartment and explains, "Well, it's a desperation move, but since our brain-dead siblings are incapable of meeting a simple deadline, I got no choice."

Luther turns to look at his sibling and asks, "No choice about what?"

"I have to find myself." Five states looking at his watch "I just arrived in Dallas 15 minutes ago." "Should I be worried about you?"

Five puts his academy jacket back on before bending over and starting to stretch. If he was going to do this he needed to know he was dexterous enough to fight or run after himself. With his younger body and surplus of energy, it probably wouldn't be that hard. Then again it was only two weeks ago when he was still working for the commission as well, and even in his old age, he was taking people out left and right. As he stretches Five explains,

"Luther, if you recall, I was sent to 1963 on a job by the Commission to make sure the president was assassinated." "Oh! So, wait, your old self is out there." Luther says

Five stood up and looked at his brother. Finally, the wheels in Luther's big monkey brain were starting to turn and he was starting to grasp the plan Five had come up with. "Precisely." Five states "What, just walking around Dallas?" Luther asks confused

Nevermind. The monkey brain was still a monkey brain. Realizing his nitwit brother would not understand unless he described it in the same way he'd talk to a six-year-old, Five emphasized, "Walking around Dallas with a briefcase that can get us home."

Luther's eyes go wide and a surprised expression appears on his face as Five watches the lightbulb finally goes off in Luther's head. It was honestly disappointing how long it took for that to happen. "Oh, my God. Five, you're a genius!" Luther exclaims

He may be a genius but the plan wasn't perfect though. There were significant flaws in it but it was a hail-mary for a reason. Turning to Luther, Five elaborates, "However, there are two significant problems with this plan. Problem number one: I am a trained assassin, arguably the most dangerous assassin in the space-time continuum. If I know me, I'm not going to react kindly to bumping into myself. Problem number two, and this is the real fly in the ointment here: you're not supposed to exist in close proximity to yourself in the same timeline. The side effects can be disastrous." "Side effects? What sort of side effects?" Luther inquires

"Well, according to Commission Handbook Chapter 27, subsection 3b, the seven stages in paradox psychosis are stage one: denial, two: itching, three: extreme thirst and urination, four: excessive gas, five: acute paranoia, six: uncontrolled perspiration, and seven: homicidal rage." Five explains "Homicidal rage?" Luther questions

"Yeah." Five states "Jeez, I don't know. This maybe isn't such a good idea." "It's a Hail Mary. But what choice do we got, Luther?" Five exclaims "I don't know, you already seem a bit squirrelly if I'm being honest." "Look, Luther, I'm gonna need you to help me get through this one, all right? I...I need a spotter." "A spotter?"

"Yeah."

"What is that? Like, a wingman?" Luther questions

"In case the paradox psychosis gets too severe, I need you to help me stay on task, all right? So, whatever happens, whatever I say, we need to get that briefcase. Okay?" Five explains

"Okay, but where's (Y/N)?" Luther questions looking around

"I don't know. She said she was going on a walk to find Charlie but I guess hasn't come back yet." Five states "Maybe it's better that way though."

"You don't want your girlfriend coming? Don't you think she could rationalize with you more than I can if things get bad with this paradox psychosis?" Luther states concerned

"Most likely, and honestly I wouldn't mind some more steadiness from her" Five says

He then stops for a moment to think about the events at the Lonely Lodger Inn from earlier. He wouldn't mind that at all.

"Five?" Luther calls

Pulled from his thoughts he looks back to Luther and continues to explain,

"BUT if she's not there I can use my knowledge of her as leverage against myself. 45 years ago was the last time he saw her alive. He's sad, desperate, and blames himself for her death. We can use his emotional turmoil to get the briefcase if necessary."

Luther looked at his brother shocked. He knew where Five was coming from but it was almost vile considering using you against the other version of himself. Like he had said that version of him is sad, desperate, and blames himself for your death. Withholding knowledge about you just to get the briefcase would probably be on torture levels for him. Luther knew how strongly Five felt about you and the two of you were together now, so he could only imagine what could happen with the version that hasn't seen you in years.

"You're going to use your girlfriend like blackmail against yourself?"

"As I said, if necessary I will." Five comments as he starts to walk away "Now, come on Luther."

"Right..." Luther says to himself

Leaving out of the apartment the two of them head out in search of Five's Commission self. Although both still wondered where you were.

____________________________

As you started to regain your consciousness the world around you began to flood your senses. Your mind felt fogged as your head rested heavily on a cold surface. Your eyelids drooped but you tried to open them to see where you were. Through blurred vision, you were able to make out an empty grey room. It reminded you of the interrogation room at the police station Eudora worked at. This definitely wasn't the alley you were in. You moved your body around and with enough force, you manage to get yourself upright but your heavy head still hung low. As you became upright you could feel your backside hit the backing of the chair you were in. You moved your arms trying to readjust yourself but as you did so you hear the sounds of clanking and realized there was something around your wrists. You were handcuffed.

"Maybe Charlie was right about not running towards danger." You groan

It felt like your physical being and consciousness were both moving through sludge. Whatever that person injected into you to knock you out was sure as hell powerful. You tried to think of a plan to get out but all of them involved your powers and you could just feel the fatigue run through your veins from the sedative. Taking some breaths you tried to figure out where you were and where to go from here. Listening carefully you could hear the buzzing of the light above you but also the sounds of people walking and chattering outside the room you were in. Gathering energy, you threw your head back so that it was facing up towards the ceiling. You moved your eyes around and spotted a door to the left of you. There were no real defining characteristics to let you know where you were. Maybe Reggie had informed the government about you and now the FBI or CIA was going to use you as a weapon of mass destruction. Maybe the Soviets had kidnapped you and were going to use you as ransom to the US government because apparently, the world saw you as the adoptive daughter of an eccentric billionaire. Either way, you didn't know where you were and you didn't know how to get out. Overall, this was a very bad situation. Without any other real options, you sat there and waited for something to happen. As you did so you could hear the door open and the sound of someone walking into the room before closing the door behind them.

"Good, you're awake." The voice commented

You knew that voice. It was the same one as the person who had knocked you out. Although you were still too sluggish to do anything about your situation you could feel a fire start to build. Rolling your head to the side you looked towards the figure. Across the other side of a table stood a woman in all black clothes with a late 90s grunge cut with a fake smile on her face. Narrowing your eyes at them you demanded,

"Where am I?"

"You're at the Temps Commission." They responded

"Fuck." You said under your breath

This was worse than you thought, and now you were wishing you were captured by the KGB or US government. You had no clue what they knew nor what they wanted from you and since you couldn't fight back, the best course of action was to stay quiet. No matter what, you would not reveal any information about the Hargreeves but especially Five. They had been on his ass ever since he returned to 2019 and you were not going to let them get to him. The woman before you looked over as you sat in silence.

"What, no more questions?" They inquire "I feel like you'd have a lot more given who I am."

"I have no clue who you are." You remark

"Lila?"

Oh. Her. Great. Letting out an annoyed huff you stare at her with an unimpressed expression.

"Ah yes, now I recall," You comment, sarcasm laced in your voice "You're my emotionally damaged, older brother's sloppy seconds hookup, who in reality is a vomit bag of lies and manipulation."

"Listen here you little prick, I'm his girlfriend." She snaps

"You ain't shit. His girlfriend is a corpse, six feet under and somehow she's still better than you." You scoff

As your confidence grew, you started to realize that the sedative was wearing off more. You started to feel less sluggish and although physically you couldn't do much your mind became clearer. You didn't want to tip Lila off that you were regaining your strength though so you stayed in your slumped position but kept a cocky look on your face. Lila slams her hands down on the table and stares at you intensely.

"I should kill you." She threatens

"Do it. I'm sure that'll go over real well with my brother." You remark sarcastically

"You a bigger pain in the ass than Five." She remarks annoyed

"Good." You reply curtly

The two of you stare each other down intensely, neither of you saying anything. After a few moments, Lila remarks,

"You're an asshole."

"And you're the walking embodiment of sad British cooking. Fucking basic beans and toast looking ass bitch." You retort

You watch and Lila's face contorted with a flurry of emotions. Shock, confusion, anger. They were all present. Lila then stands up straight once more and in a monotone voice states,

"I have a meeting to go to."

Turning away from you she heads to the door. As she does so you shout behind her,

"Ha! That's right, leave! And just know if I could flip you off right now I would!"

As Lila steps out of the room you can hear her say to someone,

"You watch over her for now and bring her to my mother's office in 15 minutes. Understood?"

And as Lila fully leaves the room another woman steps in. Closing the door behind her, she looks through the glass window of the door as if trying to check for something before pulling the curtain down. Locking the door she walks over to the table and pulls up a chair across from you. With her hands clasped nicely on the table, she gives you a genuine wide smile and says,

"Hiya! I'm Dot!"

You looked at the woman before you. She seemed kind but this was also the Temps Commission so you had your reservations about trusting her.

"(Y/N)..."

"Oh, I know!" She replies in an upbeat tone "And let me tell you, a lot of us down at case management are so happy for you and Five. A lot of us wish the process was sped up but we have no real say in any decisions here but gosh we're just so happy for you two."

You stared at her blankly. She seemed sincere in her congrats, but part of you worried this was just some ploy to get you to let your guard down. You shifted uncomfortably in your chair and quietly commented back,

"Uh...thanks."

Dot let out a small sigh as her smile faltered a bit. Giving you a soft expression she lowers her voice and states,

"Listen, I know you're probably hesitant to trust me but if I'm going to get you out of here you're going to need to."

"I'm not going to trust anybody here. Five has told me all about you all." You state

"I understand. Let me just do something to prove you can trust me. Please just don't run after I do it. It'll cause a whole lotta trouble for the both of us." Dot says

You watch as she gets up from her seat and walks behind you. You try to turn your head as best as you can to see what she's doing but between the sedative still working its way out of your system and the fact you could not turn your head like an owl it was difficult. You watch as she crouches down for a second and then you hear the sound of something clattering to the ground. Dot walks back to her chair and sits down. As she does that you realize the clattering sound was that of your handcuffs falling to the floor. She had let you go knowing there was a chance you would run away. If you were able to move better maybe you would but that wasn't a possibility yet and you were a little curious as to what was up with her now. Shaking your wrists out a bit, Dot comments to you,

"You're free now, but please don't run. Let me get you out of here the right way."

"Get me out of here? What do you mean?" You questioned as you rested your arms on the table

Dot looked around the room once more checking to make sure nothing was there to see and hear her. Looking back towards you she explains,

"The Handler is trying to take over the commission. I and a few other folks are part of an underground resistance effort to try and stop her, because if she takes the reigns of this whole place we have no clue what will happen, but we know it won't be good."

"What do you know then?" You question, leaning forward in your seat

"From what we can infer, she wants the apocalypse to happen and she wants it to wipe out Five and the rest of the Hargreeves. But Lila obviously has a soft spot for your brother and brought him here."

"My brother Diego." You state

You knew that it was Diego who she brought. Of course, it was. Logically, it was the only answer that made sense. Hell, she thought she was his girlfriend. And yet, there was a part of you that thought about your other brother, Dean. You knew it was unlikely that he was here. It was virtually impossible, but maybe if he was all of your friends were here too. The look on your face must've said what you were thinking because Dot reached across the table and took your hands in her own.

"I'm sorry about your other brother." She consoled

Your heart clenched at those words. Taking a deep breath you attempted to ask,

"I'm guessing he..."

"Yes." Dot answered, "Along with the rest of your friends."

You looked down and nodded your head lightly. You knew how the world ended. You knew that the reality you had known, did end. And yet, somehow up until now, you had been able to block out the true gravity of the situation. You remembered how you joked with Charlie that he was the only friend you had left and to stay away from fireplaces or else you would have no one. You truly had not grieved their loss for years and instead had evaded it with humor or distractions. But now you were faced with the truth that you had always known. Your friends were dead. The apocalypse killed them. You held Dot's hands a little tighter as you squeezed your eyes shut trying to keep the tears that were forming back. With eyes still closed, you took a few small breaths before quietly asking,

"How did it happen?"

There was a silence in the room as the air loomed heavy over the two of you. Dot then took a breath before answering,

"In their last moments, they were all together singing happy birthday to your friend Kenny."

You lifted your head towards Dot and opened your eyes. You nodded your head as you managed to fight back your grief and replied softly.

"...at least Dean kept his promise."

"I know this is difficult for you to deal with especially since things are already so stressful but we can get them back." Dot states calmly

"How?" You inquired

If you had a chance to save the Hargreeves, and get your friends back, you would take it, no matter what. You loved them all and nothing was going to stop you from keeping them alive.

"In the simplest of terms, stop The Handler, Stop the 1963 apocalypse, and return the original timeline."

"I'm in." You reply without hesitation "What do I need to do?"

"Lila knows that you matter more to Diego than she does, so she brought you here to use you to keep Diego in line. We're going to head to the Handler's office soon so Lila can use you as said bait. What you need to do is still pretend that you are too sedated to actually fight or anything." Dot starts to explain

"Pretend? I am still too sedated to fight." You state confused

"Not for long though." She replies "I went to our Metaphysics Division laboratory-"

She had to be joking right? The whole concept of the Temps Commission was crazy enough but a Metaphysics Division was honestly ridiculous to you. Cutting her off you sarcastically questioned,

"Metaphysics Division? What do they do? Turn decades into candy? Synthesize a person's memories from their DNA into an injectable? Create bodies for consciousness to be transferred into?"

"They already did the first one, I'm sure they could do the second if they tried, and they accomplished the last one until Five blew up the briefcase room which unfortunately shared a wall with the lab. They moved the lab location to a safer spot after that." Dot explained, "Point being, I stole a vile of adrenaline for you."

"Because adrenaline helps bring back my powers. That's genius." You compliment

"Yes. So during the meeting, you're just going to pretend that you're still very sedated but after that, we move into phase 2."

"And what's that?" You ask

"We're getting you out of here and back to Five."

With that, Dot pulls the vial of adrenaline and a packaged medical needle out of her pocket and slides them across the table to you.

"I'm not sure what your limit is so I don't want to be the one to inject it. Also, as a fair warning, we don't have much time until I need to take you to the Handler's office." Dot explains

You nodded your head at her and grab the vial and needle. You had watched Kenny do this enough times for you that you felt you could figure it out on your own with minimal problems. Opening the packaged needle you go through the steps to fill it with the adrenaline from the vile before injecting it into your arm. You weren't sure how much you were supposed to give yourself but you felt much more energized even in the few minutes after doing so. Dot turned to you and you knew from the look on her face that it was time to go. Grabbing the handcuffs from the floor you handed them to Dot before putting your hands behind your back. Once they were on you got yourself in the headspace of pretending to be somewhat sedated and started acting less alert and coordinated.

"Are you ready?" Dot questioned

"Yup. Let's set this plan in motion." You reply

Dot then unlocks the door and the two of you walk out of the room down the halls of the commission towards the Handler's office. In the office though, the Handler looked in disbelief at Lila and her pick for new commission security detail.

"Are you kidding me?" The Handler exclaims

"You said I could hire my own team." Lila states "Yes, but I didn't mean him, for God's sake. If you don't see the problem with hiring you-know-who's brother, then you're not ready for that badge." The Handler complains

Diego looks at the scene before him of the back and forth between mother and daughter. This was going nowhere and he was not meant to be here. Trying to get up and leave he says, "I'm sorry, but I really need to get going." "Shut up!" They both yell at him

Diego slowly sits back down in his seat as the two of them go back and forth with each other. "I can't do this job if you don't trust my instincts," Lila complains "Sweetheart, your vagina needs glasses. He is not worth it." The Handler criticizes "Mum! Oh, my God."Lila exclaims embarrassed before changing her tune "This may shock you, but not everyone here likes you."

The Handler looks at Lila confused as she states, "Sounds ridiculous, but go on." "You need fresh blood loyal to us and not the old regime. I've seen Diego in the field. He is so much better trained than most of the assholes here. Why waste that when we can use it? He'll be my personal responsibility." Lila explains to her mother

The Handler turns her attention from Lila to Diego.

"You know, your brother Five and I have quite a colorful history." The handler playfully comments with a wink

Diego looks at her confused and disgusted. He hoped to god that she wasn't insinuating what he thought she was because if so he was going to kick Five's ass. Trying to both change the topic, and gage what she meant Diego replies, "My brother has beef with all except one person, and that person is not me." Diego retorts "Let me ask you something. When you're looking down the barrel of a gun, where do your loyalties lie, with your family or your principles?" The Handler asks "With me. I don't belong to anybody. Especially Lila." Diego retorts

The handler stares Diego down for a bit and there is a silence in the air. Turning back to Lila she states, "That I can work with. Run him through orientation and fill out his paperwork."

A wide smile comes to Lila's face as she happily exclaims, "Aw, thanks, Mum! I'm glad you're on board, but just to be sure he behaves I do have an insurance policy in place."

"A what?" Diego questioned

The door then opened from behind him. You had been waiting on the other side of the wall with Dot for a few minutes for some kind of signal to enter the room. You guessed Lila wanted dramatic effect, which was very villain-esque and very cliche. Walking into the room you made sure that you looked physically weak so that they wouldn't feel like you had the full ability to fight them again. Dot sat you down in a chair in between Diego and Lila before walking back outside of the room. Turning to your brother you smile at him and comment,

"Hey Eggo, how's it going? Did you get drugged and kidnapped as well?"

Diego's pulse begins to quicken as he looks between you and Lila. Anger started to build inside of him as his eyes locked on Lila. She looked at him from her seat with confusion.

"Diego, what's wrong?" She questioned

Diego couldn't believe that it was even a question of what could be wrong. How could she not see the awful nature of what she had done? Shooting up from his chair, Diego moves to place himself between you and Lila. He wasn't going to let her get any closer to you. She had already hurt you once and there was no way he was going to let it happen again. Not on his watch.

"What's wrong?" He questioned rhetorically before yelling "YOU DRUGGED AND KIDNAPPED MY SISTER!"

Lila did not fully think this plan through. She knew that Diego had a soft spot for you so she knew she could use you to help get him to stay and work as security. What she had not anticipated was his anger. She thought he would be a little upset but still happy to have you with him. That was not looking like the case though. Standing up as well, Lila tries to downplay the severity of what she had done.

"Diego, calm down, she's fine. A little sedated but fine." Lila explains with some nervous laughter

"Fine would be her not being here at all Lila!" Diego rebuked

The Handler looked at the lover's quarrel going on between the two of them. It was unexpected but it revealed a side of Diego that was unknown before. It was impressive that Lila had thought ahead to bring in the one loyalty that Diego had so that he would be less likely to act out.

"I see you do have some loyalties..." The Handler comments "Good thinking on the blackmail sweetheart."

As you quietly sat handcuffed, trying to pretend that you had no ability to use your powers, you couldn't help but get irritated at Lila and Diego. Feeling the need to add your input, you cut in commenting,

"Y'know...I'm just putting it out there, but Eudora never would've drugged and kidnapped me to use me as blackmail because she was actually a good person."

"Shut up." Lila scolds, glaring at you

"Don't talk to my sister like that!" Diego reprimands

"Yeah! Fuck you, beans and toast." You add

"What?" Diego asks looking down at you confused

"Just roll with it." You whisper back to him

"Diego," Lila calls bringing his attention back to her "Look at it this way. At least she's with you her brother and not her awful boyfriend, Five."

"He's a pain in my ass, and I don't like sharing her but he's not an awful boyfriend. Everything he has done is for her." Diego replies

"I'm telling him you said that." You mention

Diego once again turns to look at you and in the sternest of tones he states,

"No."

He then turns back to Lila and continues to explain,

"And second of all, I'd rather her be with him than here because then at least I know she's protected."

The Handler was becoming less and less amused by this argument the more it went on. Deciding she was done with their petty bickering she stood up from her desk and commanded,

"Enough. Lila, take your little puppy to orientation."

Lila tried grabbing Diego's arm to take him away but he held his ground. No matter what he was not going to leave you behind, especially not alone with the Handler. Lila looked between her mother and Diego, growing increasingly worried about what would happen if Diego didn't leave with her soon. Lila tried pulling him along once more but he pulled his arm from her grasp. Placing a hand on your shoulder he turned to face the handler. Standing his ground, Diego demanded,

"I'm not going anywhere without my sister."

"Alright." The handler replies monotonously "Kill him, Lila."

"No!" You and Lila shout in unison

The two of you glare at each other before you look towards your brother. He was not dying just because he felt this need to stick around and protect you. You knew he was always going to put you first in a way he barely did with anyone else, but you were not going to risk losing your other brother because of his need to protect you.

"Diego please go." You asked calmly

Diego looked towards you before crouching down in front of you. Looking you in the eyes, he gently holds onto each of your arms. He said no words but you could feel his hands shake.

"I'm not leaving you." He stated, trying to keep his voice calm

There was a certain deja vu to the conversation you were having with Diego. Your brain traveling back to that day in 2019. You tried not to think too much about it but knowing what had happened after made this conversation even harder. You didn't want to make your brother leave, but you knew you needed to so he could be safe. You just hoped that this time things would turn out better.

"Diego. Go." You forced out

He looked at you sadly but knew you wouldn't budge on the issue. Wrapping his arms around you he pulls you into a tight hug, not wanting to let you go. If your hands weren't cuffed behind your back you would've held him as well but all you could do was rest your head on his shoulder.

"I'll be okay," you whispered, trying to reassure Diego of the decision

"I'm gonna come back for you." He whispered back

He let out a sigh before standing up and reluctantly nodding towards Lila to show him the way. You turned your head to watch him leave. Diego looked back at you one more time, hoping that he would see your face again soon. And with that, he left and you were now left alone with the Handler herself. You watched as she made her way around her desk and leaned back on it so she was now in front of you. She gave you a smile that was nowhere near as friendly as Dot's was. It unsettled you greatly. Instinctively, you leaned back in your seat as you stared quietly back at her.

"So you must be Five's little plaything," The handler comments "I'm so glad I finally get to meet you. I was hoping it would be on better circumstances but for some reason, Five never wanted to bring you around."

You could see why he didn't want you two to meet. Although she tried to portray herself as kind it was very evident that she was psychotic.

"Not much of a talker, huh?" She questions "Maybe a candy would help? Would you like one?"

She gestures to a bowl of candy on her desk. Honestly, you wouldn't mind one and you were so done with the day at this point that you were willing to accept the risk it might be poisoned.

"Sure, but uh...I can't really grab it." You reply shaking your arms to gesture to the handcuffs

The handler moves from leaning on her desk to behind you and undoes one handcuff before re-cuffing it on the armrest of the chair you were in. Still not great, but at least you were able to have some movement of your hands and arms. The handler grabs a piece of candy from the bowl and hands it to you. A smirk resided on her face as she watches you take the candy from her hand.

"Here have this one," she says before walking back behind her desk

As she walks back to her chair, you unwrap the candy and pop it in your mouth. It didn't taste too great. It tasted like stress and tears and sadness, but then again it was not as bad as the weird food concoctions you and your friends had made before. You crunched on it a little bit before swallowing it all. As the handler sits back down in her seat she starts to say,

"We've synthesized specific years into- wait did you just eat that whole thing?"

"Yeah." You reply bluntly

"That was The Great Depression candy." She states shocked

"Ah, that makes more sense. I thought it just tasted like finals week. Not bad though." You respond

The handler looks at you baffled. She purposely gave you the Great Depression as a way to knock you down and show her superiority but you ate the whole thing like it was nothing.

"Not bad? It was made to taste like blood, sweat, tears, and depression."

You shrug your shoulders and nonchalantly reply,

"It could be worse."

"It could be worse? What is wrong with you?" She questions before saying "Nevermind."

The handler took a moment to try and regain herself. Not even she was able to eat the Great Depression candy without gagging. This was a situation she had not anticipated but she wasn't going to be confused or intimidated by some child. You on the other hand felt a pride rise inside you. You tried to hold your laughter back as you thought to yourself, Now I've thrown her off her rhythm. This situation was bad but at least you were able to make it entertaining. The handler after reestablishing her "polite" composure brought a faux smile back to her face as she turned her attention towards you again.

"You are quite the individual. Just like Five, we've had our eyes on you for a long time."

"That's kinda creepy but alright." You comment back

"Well, we do monitor all of time to make sure that what's supposed to happen, happens. Of course, we were going to notice children with unexplained immense powers, such as yourself. Molecular manipulation is quite the gift."

"Yeah, you could say I'm the main character of this story." You mention with a wink "No one can do what I do."

"I'm sure someone could mimic your powers."

"Ha! I sure would like to see that bitch try." you scoffed "The dipshit would be writhing on the ground in pain for their hubris. I can only imagine what type of dumbass would willingly take on feeling the extent of everything that makes up this world without years of tolerance training. Idiot."

You couldn't believe the stupidity of her statement. You'd think if she had been monitoring you throughout your life that she would know it took you forever to build up a tolerance to feeling the molecules in the world. Before you started learning to control your abilities you blew stuff up as a child because you were in pain. Imagine having such a large ego that you think you could copy that without putting in any training for it. What a "yeah let me just try to surpass god" type of mentality you were getting from this woman.

The handler couldn't believe you either. She was growing more frustrated with you having some kind of counterpoint to everything she did or said. It was like you were prepared to be here even though it was clearly established that you weren't. She was just glad that the only power you had right now was the ability to run your mouth. The handler knew she was going to get under your skin though. She had her ways.

"You know, it's just so sweet the history that you and Five have. Always believing the two of you would find each other again one day." She states, traces of malice in her tone "It's something I thought about during Five and I's involved, and colorful history."

You furrowed your eyebrows. Did- did she think you were stupid? You knew she was trying to suggest that she and Five were a thing but they obviously weren't. Anyone with half a brain cell could see that. Your boyfriend hated this woman and hated his time at the commission. He said it himself, it was nothing more than a job. He absolutely despised these people, especially her, and currently was working directly against this organization as he always had been. And on top of it, everything he's done was motivated by his love for you. Even Diego who was not happy that you had a boyfriend knew that was Five's motivation. This woman was certifiably insane.

"Ma'am if you're trying to insinuate you fucked my boyfriend, I know you're lying. Intimacy of any kind, but especially physical intimacy catches him off guard." You elaborate unamused "Also if you two have such an involved history then why is that he spent his whole life trying to get back to me, despises you and the rest of the commission, and is actively trying to thwart you in every way possible."

The handler glared at you. She thought she was going to get under your skin with that comment and yet here you sat throwing it back in her face and getting under hers. Scornfully she rebuked,

"You know I never quite understood why Five chose you. I can't seem to find one reason to like you."

"Well, I can seem to find a lot of reasons actually. I'm pretty, I'm smart, I'm powerful, I cared for him when no one else would, I didn't knowingly leave him alone in an apocalyptic wasteland for 45 years." You retort sarcastically "And those are just a few of the many reasons."

"You know pride is one of the seven deadly sins," The handler comments leaning forward in her seat

"So is envy." you retort

The handler gets back up from her seat and walks over to you once more. Looking down at you with contempt she asks,

"You know what I see?"

"What?" you reply

"I see a weak, pathetic child who thinks that she's the center of attention in this giant book of life. A child who is so scared of confronting her past she hides behind a harsh exterior with only her words to defend her." She attempts to insult

It didn't work though because you knew she was wrong. She had no clue who you were or what you were like. You had her stumped and you knew she was grasping at straws to try and put you down. To try and make you feel belittled so that she could exert power over you. She had no power over you because the fact of the matter was, you were the one in power here, and you were going to assert it.

"Well, you know what I see?" You ask with a smug smile

"No. Tell me, what do you see?"

Still handcuffed you lean forward in your chair looking up at where she stood right in front of you. Lowering your voice you go on to say,

"I see a woman, past her prime, deluded by a fantasy of some kind of romantic tryst with a man who never wanted her to begin with. You have led yourself so far down a path of irrationality that you have convinced yourself there was some kind of connection that was never there. He was your subordinate, nothing more. And now here you stand, grasping at straws for some sense of control and power, in the middle of a failing coup d'état of your own making, because you feel like you are losing your grip on the reality you created for yourself. A reality wrecked by the very man that you convinced yourself wanted you back."

Immediately after you finished your statement, the handler's hand snapped towards you and grabbed your face. She forced your head up to look at her and you could see the rage in her eyes. You were winning this battle. Angrily the handler replied,

"You better show me some respect. I have the power to ruin your life, take everything you love away, I could even kill you for that matter."

"I don't need to show you shit. My life has already been ruined, practically all that I love has disappeared in one way or another," You retort "and just so you know, the only way I'll ever die is if I choose to let it happen."

The handler leaned in towards you and her grip on your face tightened. You could feel her nails sink into your skin a little more. You weren't intimidated by her though. She was pathetic and wasn't worth your time. When she got close enough to you a sadistic smirk came to your face for a moment before you spit in hers. The handler whipped your head to the side as she pulled back in disgust. Wiping her face off she looks towards you in anger but you sit there with a proud smile.

"You're lucky you make good blackmail or else you'd be dead right now." she comments furiously before shouting "DOT!"

Dot quickly enters the room and the handler whips her gaze towards her.

"Take this disgusting child back to her holding cell." She commands

Dot nods her head and quietly makes her way over to you. Unlocking the one handcuff from the armrest she redoes the cuffs behind your back before helping you to stand. The two of you walk towards the door to leave the handler's office but before you do so you stop in your place. Turning to face the handler you firmly state,

"Les chaînes des oppresseurs ne durent que tant que les opprimés les laissent rester. La liberté est inévitable."

And without another word you and Dot left.

____________________________

"Well, there I am." Five stated

He and Luther had made their way over to the pub that Five knew he would be at. From behind a pillar the two of them spied on older looking but younger self. Five remembered this day perfectly. He had sat over at the bar trying to perfect the equation to jump forward to 2019. He thought about you a lot, wondering how you would feel about him coming back, if you would be upset with him...if he'd get the opportunity to confess his feelings even though it probably would go nowhere.

What a sad mess of a man.

"Hey Five, why don't we just grab the briefcase and run?" Luther questioned "Luther, I would never let that happen. We're trained to guard these briefcases with our lives." Five explained "Plus, it's the inherent paradox where this gets tricky. I'm endangering my existence just being in the room with myself."

"Huh...What do you mean?" Luther asked confused

God, how dense was he? Did Five really have to spell it out for his brother? Letting out an exasperated sigh, Five elaborated,

"Luther, try to keep up. If old me doesn't travel back to 2019 like he's supposed to, the whole thing unravels itself. I cease to exist. You got me?" "I get you," Luther responds

Five was not confident though that Luther actually got him. "So our best chance is to talk with him, to reason with him." Five continues "He'll understand. Trust me. I know myself better than, uh...better than I know myself."

Unconsciously, Five reaches back and scratches the back of his neck causing Luther to quietly exclaim, "You just itched your neck. That's stage two of paradox psychosis."

"No, I didn't. I didn't itch my neck." Five denies "Denial is stage one." Luther reminds

Five was not going to deal with this back and forth. He was fine. Completely and utterly fine. Nothing was wrong at all and no paradox psychosis was setting in. He was good. Snapping at his brother he states, "I am fine, okay? Let's stay on task, shall we?"

Five attempts to start walking over to his commission self but Luther puts an arm out to stop him. "Wait!" Luther says "What?" Five questions

"Maybe I should go first." "Why?"

"Well, you'll freak him out. Bumping into your own tiny doppelganger? He will lose his shit. Just let me break the ice." Luther suggests

Five thought about it for a second and realized Luther was right. It might be better to send him in, although now he was wishing he had you here because you would probably be the best option to reason with him. But then again, he could see himself freaking out even more because your presence in 1963 meant something very wrong happened. Well, at least he still had the blackmail option. Five nods to his brother and Luther slowly makes his way over to commission Five. Luther awkward leans on the bar next to him and calls,

"Five."

Commission Five registered the word the person had just said to him but wasn't sure if he was hearing him correctly. Looking up at the person he sees a giant man standing there. Looking him up and down he asks, "What'd you call me, big man?" "It's me. Number One?" Luther replies "Luther. How did you...?" Commission Five questions as he starts to reach down towards the briefcase at his feet

"It's okay. Everything is fine. I can explain. But first, I need to introduce you to somebody. Just promise me you won't freak out." Luther tries to calm "What the hell are you talking about?" Five replies with wide eyes

"Uh! Don't freak out. No freak-outs. All right?" "Hey there, stranger." Academy Five greeted

The two of them stare quietly at each other. This was the worst of situations and both of them knew it but what was more important was making sure they were the one to possess the briefcase.

"How about we all sit down together?" Luther suggests

Commission Five leans down and grabs the briefcase as Academy Five continues to stare at him. Cautiously the two of them walk over to a nearby table that Luther has found available. Slowly the Five's sit down across from each other, their staring contest continuing on.

"I'll get us some drinks!" Luther exclaims walking over to the bar

Neither of them said a word to their other and tension loomed in the air. Neither knew if it was due to the paradox psychosis or just the fact that they both had to look at a reflection of their and future failures. Either way, it was an undesirable experience. After a minute, Luther comes back with three pints of beer in hand. Placing one in front of each person at the table he takes a seat and comments,

"Well...this is nice, isn't it? The three of us, together like this." "No." Both Fives say in unison "Somebody explain to me how it is I'm having a pint of Guinness with my younger self." Commission Five inquired

"Older, actually. I'm you, just 14 days older." Academy Five states

Commission Five leans in more as he remarks, "I have pubic hair smarter than you. How's that possible?"

"I can explain. You see, one hour from now, on the grassy knoll, before the president is killed, you break your contract with the Commission. I already know you're thinking about it. All those years in the apocalypse, we never stopped worrying about our family" Five explains taking a pause before continuing "About (Y/N)."

Luther looks between the two Fives confused. They worried about the family? It was understandable that they worried about you but the family too? Surprising. Commission Five's eyes glaze over for a second and he looks off in the distance as his teen counterpart's words resonate in his mind. He did worry about his family but mainly he worried for you. The image of that first day in the apocalypse never left him no matter how many years had passed. It was seared into his memory and haunted his nightmares. Coming back into focus, Five leans in and replies in a low voice,

"Of course. Why wouldn't I worry about her? You know what happened." "I do know what happened and preventing that outcome is the most important thing. So today, you are going to do something about it. Today, you are going to attempt to time travel forward to 2019. However, you are going to mess up the calculations, screw up the jump, and end up in this younger body." Academy Five explains

"Okay. So what am I supposed to do about it, not jump?" Commission Five asks

"No, no. I need you to jump. If you don't jump, I cease to exist and there is someone in this timeline who would not be happy about that." Academy Five states firmly

Commission Five's eyes go wide. Instinctively, his hand and covers the part where his locket rested. Were you here in 1963 as well? His heart raced a little and he excitedly questioned,

"You mean-"

"Yes." Academy Five answered

"...What's she like?" Commission Five asked in awe at the thought of you being around

"Ethereal." "I'm listening. Go on." Commission Five pressed

This is exactly why Five was fine with you not being here. Now he had bargaining power against his former self. The pathetic man was desperate for any crumb of knowledge about you. An unfriendly smile came to Academy Five's face as he explained his offer,

"I'll be glad to tell you more in exchange for that briefcase you're holding under the table. And I'll even give you the right equation for this time if you want it."

Commission Five looked back at his teen-looking self without saying any words. Taking the opportunity to speak Luther re-explained, "Yeah, yeah, so you go back to 2019, as planned, see (Y/N) and this time with the right math, so you can remain a full-grown man. In exchange, we get that briefcase that you no longer need. Timeline restored, paradox resolved. Everyone goes on existing happily ever after." "That's quite a bit to take in." Commission Five commented

"What do you think?" Academy Five asked "I think...I need to piss." Commission Five responded

He then got up from the table, grabbing the briefcase from the floor below him, and made his way to the bathroom. Academy Five watched with wide eyes as he walked away from the table. Grabbing a napkin, Luther began to dab the sweat off of Five's face commenting, "Well, besides the flop sweat, I think that went pretty well." "No, there's something- something doesn't feel right about this." Five remarked

"What do you mean?" Luther questioned "I don't trust him." Five stated "But he's you," Luther replied confused "Exactly."

Luther slowly nodded his head. The psychosis looked like it was really starting to pick up in Five. Luther hoped they would be able to get the briefcase soon so that Five didn't get worse. Downing the rest of his pint, Luther turns to Five and explains,

"Well, I need to go take a piss as well, and maybe as your spotter, I can reason with him a bit, alright? Just wait here."

Five watches as Luther gets up and walks away. He could only hope that things would all work out the way they should.

____________________________

As you and Dot quietly walked down the hallway you whispered to her,

"What's this phase two that you have in mind?"

You watch as Dot looks around for a second to make sure no one in the hallway was paying attention before pulling you into a side corridor. She takes one more glance around the surroundings before whispering to you,

"The resistance is going to get a briefcase so you can escape back to 1963, but to get to the briefcase room unnoticed, we'll need a distraction."

"Ah, I see where is going. You want me to cause the distraction."

"Yes." Dot replies "If you can draw enough security away from the briefcase room we can slip in and get one so that you can get out of here."

You nod your head as you phase your wrists through the handcuffs so you can have your arms free again. Looking back to her you state,

"I'm not leaving without Diego."

"Don't worry, I talked to Herb, another member of the resistance in the hall, and he said he was going to retrieve him." She reassures

"Good." You respond before asking "Where should I meet you?"

"Storage closet 2. It's on the east side of the building across from the period clothing department."

You peer around the corner of the corridor and look out into the hallway to see who was there. It was relatively empty with only a few people passing by. As you keep watch you ask Dot,

"Is the briefcase room to the left or right?"

"The right. Why?" She questions

"No time for questions. Just trust me. I'll see you soon." You respond

And before she can say anything else, you turn yourself invisible and sprint off to the left down the hall. Dodging the people who were walking by, you looked for some room that seemed important. As you searched, you passed the handler's office doors. Stopping in your tracks and backing up you look at the double doors for a second. A mischievous smile comes to your face as you take each hand and place them on the door handles. You heat the molecules of the handles and the lock inside of the door so that they all start to melt before quickly cooling it all down. With the handles and lock all now one solid amalgamation you knew that she would be locked in there for a bit. Turning back around you continue running off down the hall searching for a room that seemed important until you found one. Looking at the sign that said Tube Room you decided to investigate more. Phasing through the wall you entered the room and saw a line of different tubes spread down the length of a hall. Taking a look around to see that no one was there, you drop your invisibility and prepare for the mother of all distractions. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath and focused on the molecules around you in this room. Specifically, that of the tubes that lined the walls Shooting your eyes back open you took off running down the hall of tubes, blowing each one behind you up as you passed them by. You could feel the pulsing of the explosions and the heat from the leftover flames as you continued to move forward down the hall. As you reached the end of the hall, you ran through the wall to the other side hearing the sound of the last explosion resonate behind you. You stopped for a moment to brush yourself off when you heard over the PA system,

"Security to the tube room. Security to the tube room."

"I better get out of here." You say to yourself

You look around for any sign that would point you in the direction of the east side of the building. You should've asked for more directions from Dot, but you were all too excited to start bringing this organization to its knees. Down the hall, you see a sign with an arrow on it pointing towards the period clothing department.

"Bingo," you exclaim

You start to quickly make your way towards the sign when you hear someone from behind you yell,

"Stop right there!"

Looking back you saw a significant amount of people in blue suits pointing guns at you. You were about to run away when you looked forward and saw another similar-looking group on the other side of the hall.

"Shit."

You were trapped. Granted, you weren't really trapped, you could just use your powers to sneak out of this situation but you had no clue if Dot was able to get a briefcase yet. Was this all the security they had or was there more scattered around? Dot had mentioned that Five blew up the briefcase room the last time he was here, so they had to have had more security for it. Security that you needed to draw to here.

"If you wanna stop me you're gonna have to kill me!" You announced

Guns drawn, the guards started to come towards you. You kept calm though and waited patiently for the first line of security to get close enough. If you were going to cause a distraction then hell you were going to make it unforgettable. Slowly, the 12 guards inched closer and closer until they were just where you wanted them. As this first line flanked you on all sides you gave them a wicked smile and within a second a boom rang throughout the hallway. It was all calm for a moment and then...chunks of flesh and blood rained down over the hall. There was nothing left where those 12 guards had stood, and at that moment it became clear that you were not trapped with these guards. They were trapped with you. You were Persephone, the bringer of destruction, and the chaos had only just begun.

Pulling out two of your knives you watched as more guards started showing up to try and stop you. You could feel the adrenaline you had injected coursing through your veins. This is where the fun begins. Realizing what you had just done the guards start to rush in. One by one you started to take them down. It was like you were moving in slow motion as you fought the crowd around you. Your movements becoming less so fighting maneuvers and more of a rhythmic dance. In a focused daze, you made your way around slashing throats and melting brains of all those who charged at you. With their guns drawn, they sent shots your way but it did not matter because all the bullets did was go through you and hit other guards. You watched the blood and the shit spray as swathes of agents dropped to the floor dead. The lucky ones were shot or blown to bits while the less fortunate dealt with the pain of slowly burning to death or being tossed back and forth between the walls like useless playthings. You bathed in the sounds of their agony. They all were going to suffer the way they made your darling Five do for years. And like the Roman empire, they fell to their demise.

When the combat had stopped you came out of your trance. Catching your breath you looked around at the bloodbath you created. The once white marble floors were now stained with rivers of red. You were victorious in your battle, and like the Queen of Hell, your destruction reigned over this place. You turned to walk away and head towards the storage closet when the sound of a gun rang out and pain came to your arm. You looked down and saw that a bullet had grazed your forearm leaving behind a wound. Your head shot back in anger to see where the shot hand came from. One guard was still alive, paralyzed from the waist down but still alive. You made your way towards them and they tried to shoot again but they were all out of bullets. Slowly, you crouched down to them on the floor, your eyes ignited with flames and you said in a low tone,

"You missed."

Reaching into their chest you ripped out their heart and crushed it in front of them. You watched as the light quickly slipped from your eyes. Letting out a huff you placed two fingers over your wound and used your powers to cauterize it. You were done here and made your way towards the rendezvous point. As you walked that way the adrenaline started to wear off and you started to fully realize what had gone down. Urgency set in as you saw the blood you were covered in and realized you need to get out of here. Finally seeing the clothing department you ran into it real quick and changed clothes, using some scrap cloths and a water bottle you found to wipe the blood off of you. You then raced across the hall to storage closet 2 where Dot, Diego and a group of other people were all standing around.

"Hey everyone," You say frantically "We need to get out of here fast because I'm pretty sure I just committed a war crime."

"Oh, uh okay. Well, unfortunately, we couldn't grab a fully functioning briefcase in time because people came back to protect the briefcase room," Herb explains

"But, we still got one!" Dot explains positively "It just happens to be a one-way case. They become useless after one time jump."

"We've already set it up with the correct time and location. Halfway between FBI headquarters and the pub where Five is located." Herb adds "Here are some maps to show you how to get to those places."

You and Diego both reach out and grab a map.

"Thank you." You reply quickly

Diego turns to look at you,

"Ready to go, kiddo?"

You nodded your head quickly at him. Diego took the briefcase in one hand and wrapped his other arm around you tightly. Herb stepped forward and pushed a few buttons before stepping back you could feel the energy from the case start to grow as you tried to manage your breathing. Giving the group of people before you one last look, you say,

"Vive la résistance."

Almost immediately after there was a flash and now you stood with your brother in the middle of Dallas, back in 1963. You watched as the briefcase started smoking and making unpleasant clanking sounds. Finding a nearby dumpster, Diego threw the defunct briefcase away before coming back over to you and pulling out his map trying to figure out the path to the FBI building. It wasn't far from where you stood but every second spent standing around was another second closer to Vanya ending the world...again. Looking up from his map he looked towards you. You silently looked back at him and waited for him to say something. You could tell something was on his mind. Diego was torn. He wanted to bring you with him to the FBI headquarters so he knew where you were and didn't have to worry that you had been taken by Lila again but he didn't want to put in danger of what Vanya was doing. The last time Vanya strongly used her powers you were seriously injured and putting you right in harm's way of that was something he would never choose. Diego came to a decision in his head. It was going to take a lot to say this but Diego knew it was the best option.

"Go find Five. He'll keep you safe."

You were surprised by his statement. Diego had been very back and forth on you being with Five since every before Five came back, although he would never admit it. But this plus the comment from earlier were the strongest confirmations that maybe just maybe, Diego was coming around. Although his comments gave you reason to celebrate, this was not really the time and you were also very worried about him. You didn't want to be separated from your brother especially if he was headed to stop Vanya.

"Will you be okay?" You questioned

"I'll be fine." Diego responds "Now go get to Five. He can protect you from the commission more than I can."

Instead of saying any words you just took a step forward and hugged your brother. It was brief because time was of the essence but it was enough to reassure both him and yourself that things would be alright. You pulled away from Diego and the two of you gave each other knowing nods before turning in opposite directions and running towards your respective destinations. Using your powers you made yourself lighter so that you could move faster. You had no clue if the commission was after you. You wouldn't be surprised given you had pissed off both Lila and her mom, the handler. It didn't take you long to see the pub marked on your map up ahead. You slowed your pace as you made your way to the door and calmly entered the establishment. You looked around for a second before spotting a familiar uniformed boy, sitting alone at a table. You walked over to the table he was at and called,

"Five."

His head snaps over to you. His eyes were wide and his face was covered in sweat. You were taken aback by how frantic and unwell he looked. You cupped his face in your hands and felt the warmth radiating off of his skin. As you tried to cool down the water molecules in the sweat on his face you said,

"Oh my god, are you feeling okay darling? You look awful."

Five quietly stood up as you still held his face in your hands. He appreciated you using your powers to try and cool him down but he was confused as to what you were doing here.

"How did you find me?" He asked

"I'm fine." you instinctively responded

"That's not the question I asked." Five states "Also are these new clothes?"

"Listen, the specifics of the situation don't matter too much right now but I promise I will tell you later. What's the plan?" You inquired

"I- I don't know." Five states scratching the back of his neck "I'm still working on it."

"Don't worry, it's going to be okay." you comforted as you brought him into a hug "We'll figure this out together."

Five wrapped his arms back around you and held you tightly. IF he was experiencing any paradox psychosis, at that moment it melted away for a bit. Just you being with him gave him a sense of calm even though the world around him was anything but that. He just hoped that this calm would last even after Luther had returned.

As Luther had walked into the bathroom a few moments earlier, he sees Commission Five standing in front of the sink looking at the glass eye that would belong to the future, Harold Jenkins. Walking over to the urinals he comments to Five,

"Yeah, that's a waste of time. Trust me."

A waste of time? It was one of the only clues he had. How could it be a waste of time? "Then why were you holding it when I found you dead in the apocalypse?" Five questioned

"No idea. But the guy it belonged to didn't end the world. Vanya did." Luther stated "Timid little Vanya?" Five asked confused

"Yep. Is more powerful than all of us put together. Turns out, she was pissed about the way we treated her when we were kids, so she destroyed the moon and ended the world."

"Fair enough." Five said nodding his head "This is perfect. We now know exactly what's gonna happen."

"Yeah, except it, uh, already did," Luther replies approaching Five

Five turns to him with plenty of new ideas rushing through his mind. Not only how to stop the apocalypse and get this version of Five to disappear. He was unnecessary. "Don't think, just listen. Forget about the little jerk-off's plan. It's way too complicated. A much better plan is for us to travel to 2019. All we have to do is make nice with Vanya, stop her from destroying the world. Easy-peasy." Five explains "Hmm. Well, that's actually...that's not bad." Luther responds "But what about Five? I mean, you? I mean, the, uh, young you."

"That's not me. That's a teenaged hormonal photocopy that got botched in the time jump. Besides, it's too late for him anyway." Five states

"Too late? Paradox psychosis?" Luther inquires

Five nods his head, answering, "Best thing we can do is put him out of his misery." "You're saying to kill him?"

"You're thinking about this all wrong. We're not killing anybody." Five elaborates "Look at me. I'm Five, and I will still be alive. All we are doing is getting rid of a mutant doppelganger."

"Are you sure you don't have paradox psychosis?" Luther questions concerned "I've never felt better in my life." Five states

I just don't know Five..." Luther responds warily "(Y/N) wouldn't be very happy to know her boyfriend is gone from existence."

Commission Five stopped in his place. His head slowly turned back to look at Luther who had an innocent yet conflicted look on his face.

"Boyfriend?" He questioned surprised

"Yeah. Boyfriend." Luther responds "But like I was saying, I don't know about getting rid of him, this would be like the third time she's lost him- you...y'all? And she's really powerful and she almost killed me once for insulting Diego, and you remember the bank she blew that guy's head clean off. I just don't feel like it's the best idea to rip that Five away from her..."

Commission Five hadn't listened to a word Luther had said though because once the word boyfriend had slipped from Luther's mouth his heart began to race. If that version was her boyfriend that meant she loved him too. No. That would be insane. Maybe Luther said the words too fast and so he said boyfriend when he meant boy friend. There was no way that she felt the same way he did. Could she? Did she love him this whole time? Did she die loving him the same way he loved her? No, they were just friends. Just...friends. Five wanted to believe that what Luther was saying was true and that she did love him enough to have him be her boyfriend but it just didn't add up in his mind. How could she love someone who abandoned her in a different time, who took everything she knew away from her and left her wondering till the day she died if her best friend was mad at her. It was impossible though. Five looks up towards Luther who still towered over him like he did when they were kids.

"The little prick out there won't tell me jack about her." Five complains before asking quietly "What's she like Luther?"

"Well...I haven't been around her much but uh she's very powerful, more so than when we were kids. Uh, I mean she definitely cares about the people she loves, and um apparently she was dad's favorite both in 2019 and this timeline."

"That makes sense. When I read her diary she wrote about a lot of the things he did for her. Was too much to be coincidental."

"Wait what? He did stuff for her?" Luther questions

"Doesn't matter. So she's here? In this timeline?" Five inquires

"Uh- I don't know where but yeah," Luther responds

Five nods his head.

"Alright well, let's head out then." Five comments

As the two of them open the men's bathroom door and exit both of them see a sight they didn't know would be there. Five froze in place and his jaw dropped as he looked ahead of him.

"Oh look, there she is!" Luther commented

He was right. There you stood. Alive. Five could feel his heart stop and he didn't know if he was breathing anymore as he stared off at you. The world faded away as his focus became you and only you. Five could feel his heart clench as he remembered the last time he saw you alive. It was 45 years ago, right before you died. He remembered cradling you in his arms, blood getting on his academy uniform as he cried over your dead body. Tears pricked his eyes as he took all of you in. You were smiling, moving, breathing and to him, that was a miracle. He could only see the side of your face but the little shit was right, you were ethereal. As the world came back into focus he noticed you wrapped in the arms of his teenage counterpart. He saw the gentle look in his counterpart's eyes as your hands wrapped around his neck bringing him into a hug. Five wanted a hug from you, it had been so long since he had gotten one. As Five stood there, he felt Luther nudge his arm. Turning his attention to him, Luther says,

"Alright lover boy, time to get your head out of the clouds and go interact with the love of your life for the first time in years."

"Ah well, no...we're just- I mean..." Five stutters

"Oh, we're just best friends. Don't give me that shit you openly yelled about how you loved her when we were 12." Luther ridicules "Now c'mon let's go."

Luther starts to push Commission Five forwards back towards the table and Commission Five's heart begins to race with every step closer. As Academy Five noticed Commission Five head back towards the table he held you tighter to him. His face contorted into a scowl as he looked at this version of his approach towards you. He could see the look on his face, one of nervousness and awe. Academy Five didn't like it one bit and if it wasn't for you hugging him he felt like he would've punched the old man right where he stood. You felt as Five tensed up in the hug and pulled back to look at him. looking up at his face you saw it was filled with anger but couldn't begin to decipher why. You followed his gaze to see what had angered him so and when you looked behind you, you saw Luther standing there with an older gentleman. You looked back towards your boyfriend whose face was still filled with rage and asked,

"Five, who is this?"

Five stared the man down and let out a huff before replying,

"He's me."

________________________________

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animecreator3000 · 3 years ago

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About the Boueibu iceberg

@delphoxqueen asked me to explain about my list for the iceberg so here it is. I might update this from time to time with links and stuff if I stumble across the original posts. This is all from what I know so feel free to add new info. Also, spoiler warning for RobiHachi and the Boueibu manga and novels. (This is like a masterpost it’s very long)

1. There’s a theory in tumblr about which decade the series is set in, using data like the friday the 13th calendar in s2 ep11. In HK we got a second number for when the next monthly Pretty Boy Contest was happening and using the one from Love it was theorized that around a decade had passed since then, which ended up being true.

2. The stage play had a few original songs and characters exclusive to it so unless you watched the full performance, you probably weren’t able to witness all of them. One of the characters is called “Robato Deniro”, as romanized in the stage play booklet I own.

3. The nurse and the cafeteria staff from the s1 mobile game appear in the background in around the first half of s2 ep3.

4. S2 had an unfinished manga that was only available online and was never released on physical format; it was centered around the defense club and sometimes the conquest club and Beppu brothers. All that’s left from what I know are the scans linked on magicalgirlsandcerulean’s blog.

5. This isn’t that obscure because it’s talked about in the anime, but I’m mentioning it because I think many people dropped it before the ova, where right at the beginning it is revealed that the alien that resucitated Mr. Tawarayama twice was, as described by Io, a “mulberry-colored naked mole rat-looking thing”, and was nicknamed “Moley-san” by Yumoto. At least in the anime, we had never heard before of who this was and it never appeared on screen nor was mentioned again.

6. In HK ep8, Karurusu promises the knights to grant a wish if they show him how earthlings spend summer. Kyoutarou reveals at the end of the episode that he wished that summer lasted one more day so he could spend it doing nothing, which prompts Ichiro to theorize that it’s the 32nd of august, and the next day is the second 1st of september.

7. The stage play was was held from march 10th to 13rd, of which the latter is Ryuu’s birthday. There’s an additional recording of a small celebration with cake focused on Ryuu and Io.

8. Atsushi mentions his older sister in the flashback at the beginning of s1 ep4, but she never appears or is mentioned again.

9. There’s a few posts on tumblr theorizing about what happened to the Hakone parents since Yumoto only says in s2 ep3 that according to Gora, “they are busy with their hot springs tour”. En mentions that it’s a bit suspicious, but it’s all the information we have from the anime. Posts talk about the parents perhaps passing away from an accident or an illness, thus the reason why Gora was so worried about Yumoto’s cold in s1 ep10, but from another post I think it’s implied in the second novel that they actually left their home when Yumoto was still a toddler.

10. It’s no secret that the surnames of the characters are all real onsens in Japan that even the seiyuus have visited, but apparently the Arima onsen has two different kinds of water, “kinsen (gold hot spring)” and “ginsen (silver hot spring)”, with different properties each, and the Kusatsu onsen water also has certain properties, both that were used to build the characters. Additionally, Ryuu’s favorite food are Sato Nishiki cherries, which are grown in the same prefecture, Yamagata, as his onsen, Zaou.

11. The press club lose relevance after s1, with only Kinosaki and Tazawa reappearing briefly in s2 ep2 to interview the Beppu twins after they arrive at the school. Tazawa doesn’t even have lines. Hireashi is mentioned by Zundar in ep11.

12. What the heck

13. Exclusively in the manga we see that Arima met Kinshiro and Atsushi when they were little and they were good friends, but when they met again as adults, Kinshiro seemingly didn’t remember Arima. Atsushi, however, stated that Kinshiro’s talent is remembering people’s faces and names, so Arima wonders if he��s just trying to distance himself from him. He also explains to Akoya that he follows Kinshiro and obeys him because as a child, he was fascinated by his radiant smile. This is never talked about in the anime.

14. Like the previous point, the anime never shows Akoya being bullied, at most just a slight dislike of his full name, but the manga shows that he was made fun of for it and how he actually hates his surname, to the point of introducing himself formally to the president and vicepresident of the student council as “Holy Angel Akoya”.

15, 16, 17, 19. Batonama lives were the livestreams done through the franchise by the defense club seiyuus on youtube and niconico. They’re all on youtube, without any kind of translation.

Love-ko is a girl with a shell bikini drawn on a piece of cardboard that was used as a girlfriend in the Batonama Love! lives, acted by the seiyuus themselves.

RobiHachi has one episode full of official Boueibu artwork and a parody of the series too, a Love-ko doll appears, and Wombat appears as well, named “The Don”. It received an english dub, so for a bit, people were excited that Wombat was going to speak in english too. Also, various mechas appear in both Boueibu and RobiHachi.

18. The director of Fairy Ranmaru (Masakazu Hishida if I’m not wrong) revealed in an interview that he was inspired by Boueibu and aimed to make a show like that.

20, 21. The website super-groupies.com has results for defense and conquest club lingerie sets, dc and VEPPer tote bags, the Beppus’ scarf rings, dc bath sets and the pumps magicalgirlsandcerulean mentioned. I’ve found the s1 Loveracelets and Caerula Adamas’ ring on different sites, the True Loveracelets on TheChara’s twitter and the Happybraces (apparently called “Hapibure”) on broccoli.co.jp but I’m not sure where exactly they were all announced and sold, so I’ll just drop that.

22, 33. Boueibu was originally pretty much a copy of Sailor Moon, I think they were all going to be called “Lackluster Moon” and that stuff and be literally Sailor Moon genderbent. They were all different from color palettes to physical features (except Yumoto’s), and Ryuu was a shota, even smaller than Yumoto. Their names were also very reminiscent of the five Sailor Senshis’. Even if they made it more original, the show is still clearly inspired by Sailor Moon (just look at Caerula Adamas lol) and Pretty Cure. It has also referenced, very blatantly, animes like Doraemon, Detective Conan, Aikatsu and even Vocaloid, when Kyoutarou tries to guess what Karurusu is saying with ““Just Google It, Asshole”?” in ep1.

23. Wombat’s real name and the name of his planet sound like gibberish to the earthlings and ends up being named after the Earth animal, but Zundar, Dadacha, Karurusu and Furanui all have original names. And I think Hireashi means “goldfish”?

24. If you google “zundar technology”, it’s actually a company in Shanghai, China. Aren’t Wombat and Zundar always talking about “advanced alien technology”?

25. Zundar and Dadacha are siblings, so are Karurusu and Furanui, and so are their father King Kamopapa and their uncle minister Wao, but neither are the same species and, except the first two, not even the same color. But they are supposedly related because they share birthmarks or something like that...

26. Everyone who’s in this fandom knows about the pixel blur and voice pitch censor from s1, but I’ve added it anyway because it’s so rare for mahou shoujo and shounen animes to explain why the heroes aren’t recognized when transformed.

27. A good while of s2 ep11 is spent discussing Zundar’s ex-wife and his problems to give child support. Naturally, he gets mad at this.

28. “Money doesn’t betray” (s1 ep6) and “The despair hidden behind your smile that comes from not being understood” (s3 ep11) are sentences that came out of nowhere and implied that the people they were said by (Io) or about (Taiju) respectively had some kind of angst going on but were never explained at all. They’re famous for just that.

29. The Beppu twins’ house in Andromeda shown in flashbacks had strange green circles that apparently are from another anime I don’t know but honestly I didn’t get it very well... It was revealed on a tweet from Takamatsu.

30. Alien language mostly appeared in s2 due to the many flashbacks of Aki and Haru in Andromeda, but in Boueibu s1, it appears on the Zundar Needle before it is shot on the human. It appears a lot through RobiHachi as well, due to being a story about travelling through space. There might be an alphabetical chart somewhere, but I can’t assure it exists, I might even have dreamed it.

31. Hikaru Midorikawa as the melon monster, Kousuke Toriumi as the bishounen monster, Yoshitsugu Matsuoka as the kotatsu and panda monsters and Takuya Eguchi as the remote controller monster in s1 and 2, before going on to voice the main cast in HK. Keisuke Koumoto voiced Hatchi Kita in RobiHachi as well as Akihiko in Boueibu, and the characters look similar.

A new addition is that so far Boueibu is the only anime I’ve seen where children weren’t voiced by female seiyuus, but by actual children. Personally, it’s charming and makes it so much more realistic, specifically since no women appear in the franchise at all either (not counting Protag-chan in the game).

32. Speaking of seiyuus, Can I Destroy The Earth? had a dub shown in ep11/12 (?) that made Gora the villain that wanted Earth to stay the same and not progress, against the monsters that supposedly wanted to bring good things to earthlings. Aki and Haru quickly dismissed this dub as fake. (I made a mistake in the title in the previous post btw)

34. As seen in the glossary in the Boueibu Mook (I think, but might not be the mook), Caerula Adamas’ speeches are based on an old japanese detergent commercial that went “Gold, silver, pearl, gift”.

35. In the manga there’s a short parody of the first chapter of Sailor Moon with “Pretty Boy Guardian Gakuran Akoya”. The conquest club manga was released before the anime, so I remember reading somewhere that a fake website appeared for the Gakuran Akoya manga, before turning into the conquest club manga website in the day of its release.

36. Cgi was used a few times in the anime: s2 ep10 for a short sequence of the defense club on a rollercoaster and the carousel monster, ep11 for a cenital shot of the Battle Lovers singing, and HK ep12 for the Honyalaland soldiers and the Wao mecha.

37. The toothbrush incident in s1 ep7. (It’s definitely well-known but it’s so weird lol)

38. “We hope we can see each other again someday!” Something along those lines was the last text to appear in the last episode of HK, implying a s2. We all know how that went.

#boueibu #new post bc i didn't put a readmore in the other one and it was getting too long #msorry #long post #speaking of the robihachi eng dub... sarazanmai has one too...#so many animes like those get dubs but not boueibu?! HOW UNFAIR #at least we got the funimation subs #is the game even canon??#i mean with stuff like how everyone is apparently straight in there #even yumoto who pretty much came out as gay in the anime #that's very inconsistent #i mean. it is canon but maybe it's like an au? idk #also we need gakuran akoya to be real lmao #also no prequel with gora or hk s2. WHYYYY #i think this took me four hours

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bostoniangirl85 · 3 years ago

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Inspector Gadget (1983) episode review: “The Amazon”

I’m back with another episode review, this time Episode 4 of Season 1, “The Amazon”! This episode was one of the big inspirations for starting “A Man’s Worth” and it’s one of the best episodes of the first season IMO.

This episode is probably the closest we come to knowing anything about Gadget’s past and his origins as a cyborg through the introduction of Professor Von Slickstein. I really wish the show had explored Gadget’s origins in more detail but I understand it’s a kid show and meant to be light-hearted. But still, there are so many things we don’t know about Gadget, Dr. Claw, Penny, etc. that it’s a fanfic writer’s gold mine of possibilities.^^

It’s interesting that Gadget tells Penny that Quimby wants him ready 24/7 for action, which makes me think Gadget is much more than a mere city cop. Gadget’s secret missions all over the world are definitely in line with international espionage and this is what started the whole INTERPOL/spy angle in “A Man’s Worth”.

Hmm...and on that note, Gadget must get a TON of overtime pay. Either that or his salary is much higher than a regular police inspector, especially if he can afford such a large house.

Von Slickstein’s background is also really interesting - if he’s the “father of modern bionics” then he’s probably one of the most valuable people in the world in terms of scientific knowledge. It’s no surprise that M.A.D. ends up kidnapping the professor. And on that note, I’ve noticed that M.A.D. goes after a *lot* of scientists in the series, which got me started on the whole cyborg/bionic warfare theme. If one agency had a monopoly on something as powerful as bionic technology, they could easily become the most dangerous organization in the world.

So what were the circumstances in which the good professor turned Gadget into a cyborg? The “official” canon story is that Gadget slipped on a banana peel, but I could see that as a light-hearted joke to keep Gadget from asking too many questions, which of course Gadget would easily accept due to his faulty memory. And maybe the fact that Von Slickstein lives so close to Gadget’s home is a way for him to keep an eye on Gadget.

Okay, you gotta hand it to Gadget, he almost caught Claw during the car chase scene. Gadget may be a terrible driver, but he’s tenacious as heck and his sheer determination makes me think that he really was involved in law enforcement before he was turned into a cyborg.

Claw’s plan to create an army of robots is actually pretty terrifying if you think about it. If he got his hands on all of the bionic technology available, he could replace anyone with a robot doppelganger (like we saw in “Gadget’s Replacement”). Even *more* terrifying is the thought of turning someone into a cyborg against their will. No wonder Quimby was so serious about this mission (not that he isn’t in every episode, bless him).

I’m not sure whether to laugh or cringe whenever Gadget sees a pretty face.^^ I don’t think Gadget would ever behave so outrageously if his mind wasn’t scrambled, but I can see a pre-Cyborg Gadget being a lady’s man when he was younger. I think on some level deep down Gadget knows he’s not like other men so maybe his behavior is a way to make up for it? More on this later - I’ll probably save that for another post.

I love that Brain is a better driver than Gadget. XD

I really like how Von Slickstein stands up to Claw and at first refuses to cooperate. It says a lot about his character. And I’m convinced that Von Slickstein gave Penny her computer book and watch, though if she knows that isn’t revealed. And apparently he also has super-strength as he was able to carry Gadget out of the pyramid!

There’s so many questions this episode created, but it was a big inspiration for the plot line of “A Man’s Worth” and I really enjoyed it.

#inspector gadget 1983 #inspector gadget episode reviews #inspector gadget episode: the amazon

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simpsiren · 4 years ago

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the ukiyo standalone;

park jisung x reader

Jisung is everyone’s joy and prized possession. Being the youngest of his friend group and with his child-like nature, he’s certainly the one that everyone favours. He’s adorable, innocent, pure. You would think he’s well known in college but in actuality, he’s pretty hidden, living his life in the shadow of his friends. He didn’t mind it really. He didn’t need to feel the crowd prying their eyes into his business like his friends, which was why he actually isn’t seen with them often in the first place, he didn’t need to stand out.

genre. fluff, angst, emotional, heart warming aNd heart breaking

word count. 20k~

description. In this current fast pace world, there was never really a time I could take a break. I did choose this path as a lawyer major knowing I would be drowning myself with papers every single night and pulling all-nighters for an inhumane number of days. As much as I want or even need to rest, I never could. This was the path I’ve chosen. And my pride was too high to let myself stop the grind. That is until I made a mistake of calling an unknown number who belonged to a guy named Jisung at the campus library. I thought he was a waste of time till I realised he showed me to slow down, not having to force my body to move with the world’s speed, to be my ukiyo; my floating world.

!as they should masterlist!

Jisung liked doing social experiments. It was practically his side hobby, something he’d do when there wasn’t anything important on his to-do list. He was simply interested at how the students at his campus would react upon weird occurrences around them. It got students talking whenever he did something, the fact that they didn’t know it was his doing is one of the reasons why he does it in the first place.

On this particular night, where Jisung was staring out of his window from his study table that was directly in front of it, giving the clearest view of the stars and especially the bright moon that reflected its light through his cracked open window and onto his study table, he was wondering about what to do next. What would get people to feel weirded out. What would get them to react a certain way.

When an idea came to mind, the light bulb hovering over his head switched on, the gears began to turn. It wasn’t the most brilliant idea, but it could go both ways. Either the students don’t bother even taking in their surroundings to notice it, or suffer the loss of not getting help. Jisung’s a dance major but he liked doing these projects for the fun of it so might as well. Jisung peeled off a random piece of sticky note from the stack with his other stationeries. Clicking his pen, he immediately went to writing.

When times you aren’t feeling fine, just call this number. I’ll try to be available 24/7.

Jisung frowned slightly and tilted his head. If he were to paste his numbers all over the school, he would probably be bombarded with calls every two seconds. It also didn’t make sense for him to be available 24/7. Clearly that was impossible. His frown deepened. He thought for a long moment, trying to phrase a sentence that was more suitable for what he wanted to do. With a smack of his lips and an unsure hiss, he grabbed a new sticky note and started again.

Glad you came to notice this note laying wherever you are in the library. Feeling stressed? Need someone to talk to? Simply need a friend? My number’s below. You don’t have to know who I am. I’m just here to help you out, mentally I guess. I’m available from 1PM-3AM. Call whenever you feel the need to. Have a nice day :D (don’t worry I’m not some stalker or whatever i’m just a bored student here)

Jisung clicked his pen against the table to close it, his eyes scanning over his words, which might he add was beautifully written, like calligraphy. Jisung couldn’t help but crack a small smile at that thought. He threw the pen off to the side and went to his printer with the sticky note, now moving on to making copies. He wanted to copy a reasonable number, not too little till no one noticed or too many till it was extremely obvious, but well enough for him to get at least a small chance of getting a response. With a number in mind, he began printing.

The next day, he went for his lecture in the morning. He preferred having the morning lectures just so he could spend the rest of his day doing whatever. And on today’s agenda was the pasting of his notes. With the weight of his bag pulling his shoulders and back down, he wished he could go back to the dorms right now and start of his assignment but he wanted to settle this first.

He entered the library. It wasn’t too crowded. Students were fairly spaced apart from each other in the study area, sparse. Some students were at shelves. With his hands still shoved into the pockets of his black Adidas jacket, he make his way over to a random study table. He needed to do this quick to avoid suspicion. But why would students notice anyway? They had their heads digged into whatever work that was incomplete.

Jisung slowed himself down and took out the a note from the small file he had in his bag along woth a large clear tape role. He had to put his bag down, searching for the scissors. He cut a reasonable amount of tape after placing the note in the bottom right corner and placed it over top, sealing the note onto the table. Jisung back away for a moment, taking a long look at it. It was small, but still noticeable. With a satisfied shrug, he went on to do the same for some other tables, even going to bookshelves and randomly pasting them anywhere he wished.

What he didn’t know, was that he was being watch.

I had my brain wrapped around this essay for who knows how long now. Hours, days. Having to redo my research for the fith time was about to have my head spinning till it lolled, out of energy and brain power to hold up. I stared down at the notes scattered all over. The table was a huge mess, loosing track of how many pages I’ve flipped and how many articles I read online, as well as time of course. I sighed quietly, leaning back and closing my eyes, wanting to rest them for a brief moment.

When my eyelids opened back, I couldn’t help but notice the person that had been hovering around the study tables for far too long. It was distracting, watching him move from table to table at the corner of my eye. And though my attention had been on my papers, he was still to be seen in my peripheral vision. I blinked my eyes rapidly and shook my head, refusing to let a small matter tick me off to the point where I wasn’t able to do my work.

I straightened my back and adjusted my shoulders. Closing back my eyes, I took in a deep breath, chest puffing up as I gave myself a determined nod. I shot my eyes back open and with full exhilaration running through my veins, I got back to work, shutting the world out so it was just me and my work, wanting to get it done and over with.

Again I lost track of time, but in a much more productive way than how I was in the morning. I didn’t have classes today, making full use of my free time on my work. I pressed the final key on my keyboard, ending my essay with an exhale of satisfaction. I leaned back into the seat, throwing my head back till it went past the backrest. I placed my hands on the arms of the chair, and it was then did I realise that the library was extremely quiet.

I took in my surroundings, slow scanninv my eyes over the library. It was already dark, some areas pitch black while other were visible with the help of the moonlight shining through the windows. It was only the light at my study table that illuminated the area around with a orange hue. I didn’t mind being the inly one here, but sometimes it felt eerily quiet, like tonight. I grabbed my phone that was shoved into my bag. Lifting it up in front of me, the lockscreen showed itself, as well as the ungodly hour blaring at me.

“Three in the morning? How did I even...” I tilted my head slowly in awe, surpised at just how time flew by when I was immersed in completing my assignment. I read through my essay, having to close my eyes halfway due to how bright the screen of my laptop was. I was scanning through the first paragraph when I immediately went to shut down, already too tired to have one last scan through and making the mental decision of doing it tomorrow.

I packed up immediately, the thought of my bed and sleeping now being the number one priority. I shoved all my things in my tote bag, slinging it on my right shoulder. I was already taking off, a mere few steps away from the exit when I saw something shining at the corner of my eye. I stopped and turned on my heel to the study table. Slowly, my eyes trailed to the bottom right corner where the source of my pause came from. Turned out it was simply the light reflected of a tape. But upon further inspection, I went closer noticing it wasn’t just tape, but a note.

I read it over, having to brush some strands of hair behind my ear that was annoyingly covering the note. I quirked an eyebrow in a questioning manner, leaning back to my standing form once I was done reading, yet my eyes were glued to the impressively written note. “Who gives out their number just like that?” I couldn’t help but wonder under my breath. Too tired to even register any more information, I let this weird occurrence slid out of my mind, continuing to make my way out of the library and back to my dorm where I instantly fell asleep with no second thoughts.

The next day I got up, the light shining through the small holes of my curtain blinding me awake. I searched for my phone under my pillow, plugging out its charger while I scrolled through my social media, specifically Twitter. The first thing that popped up on my timeline was a tweet from the campus’s very own account. No one knows who it was made by, but you can bet that whoever they are has their eyes everywhere around the school, tweeting about the latest gossips or news around campus grounds. Today’s one sparked a memory from last night.

Someone’s at it again stirring up the attention of our students by having their number out in the open for everyone to see in our library. Was there more to it than just wanting to offer help through call service?

I scoffed, glancing away for a moment before retrieving my gaze back to my phone. “Do they actually want people calling them?” I asked myself while scrolling my thumb up to look at the other tweets below. It did come to my attention that night, now picturing the note in my mind. I didn’t remember the number, but it was there, and something about it was drawing the curiosity in me to find out more. With a grunt I shot myself out of bed, getting ready to head to the library again to study.

I hadn’t expected how much time would pass by just from me studying. I’ve been in the library for almost a full day. I was being sent on an emotional roller coaster ride. Some hours being a breeze as I studied the easiest topics, while others had me wanting to rip my hair off my scalp from trying to shove all the information in my brain when it felt like it was at its full capacity. I wasn’t myself today. I kept looking at my phone that was a distraction, which was something I never did at all while studying. I was off the edge.

With exams coming up in a month’s time, I knew I was studying too much too early. But I always had to stick to my life motto. “Get it done and over with.” I muttered to myself. But tonight, at one in the morning, my body and mind couldn’t register any more information. I couldn’t. I was tired, exhausted. Drained. The stress came barreling in full force and I hated how I was making myself feel this way by always being on edge and doing things too fast to keep up with everything else in life.

Wanting to clear my head, I began gathering some of my notes, stacking them up to the clean the table that was in a huge mess. My eyes have grown used to this sight, but I was simply cleaning for the sake of procrastinating and putting off the desire to complete aoother topic. When I was done cleaning one section of the table, something struck my attention. I looked to the bottom right corner of the table. And there it was. The note that’s been in the hidden folds of my mind when I pushed them back to focus on studying.

My eyes went from left to right, specifically at the number since I’ve remembered the note unusually vividly. “Should I?” I whispered. I looked around, no one was to be seen. Weird, since I’d usually see at least one student here despite the late hour. I exhaled softly, letting the cold air that circulated around me in the night cool my skin while I picked up my phone from the table and keyed in the number. I wasn’t thinking about what I was getting myself into. At this point, I was already overloaded with my studies that I was malfunctioning, clearly not thinking straight.

I placed the phone up to my ear, leaning forward and letting my upper body rest against the table while I placed my chin in the palm of my free hand. The ringing went on for five times, and I was about to hang up when I heard the sound of the phone being picked up. “Hey. Who’s this?” It was a guy. Could it be the one that I saw lurking around that day? I gulped and cleared my throat, opening my mouth and letting out an “Uh..” while trying to figure out what to say. “Your number is here. One the study table at the library.” I simply said, wondering what he’ll respond with.

Sudden shuffles could be heard. It went on for a brief moment till he exclaimed, “Oh! Right, right. Hey! I’m at your service, what do you need?” His voice sounded dry and coarse, like he had forgotten to drink water before he slept. Was he sleeping and picked up while he’s half asleep? I ran a hand through my hair, adjusting to get comfortable. “A listening ear. That’s all I need.” I murmured through the speaker. I had to let it all out. And it came to the point where I’d rather actually talk to a stranger about my problems than anyone I knew. But that’s how we all are nowadays, right? Too self conscious and simply wanting to put on an act for the whole world.

“Go on. I’m all ears.” He replied back, sounding attentive and somewhat interested. I didn’t want to think much of it. He was clearly like this to everyone else who called for “his service”. Being receptive and responsive. Kind and willing. That’s what he sounded like. The first person to actually say something that felt like all those things at once, to me.

“Do...” I trailed off, shaking my head and wondering what I even wanted to say in the first place. I smacked my lips. “Don’t you just feel tired? Of like the whole world. Everything and everyone around you. You’re tired physically and emotionally.” He hummed in response. “Of course I do. A lot of people feel that.” I scoffed softly, biting my bottom lip. “Yes but, the other thing that’s making me tired... is myself. I have this habit of just overloading my brain with lots of things. It feel as if I’m making myself stress on purpose.” I couldn’t help but chuckle weakly as the words left my lips.

“I always wanted to the best I could be. And that led to me just grinding and grindinv everyday with no end. I barely get to sleep, and even if I did. I’ll wake up and the whole cycle will repeat itself. I fucking hate that I’m in this loop. But I chose to be here. I can’t break out.” My voice began to crack. It took me awhile to realise that I was crying till my tears fell on the papers and made its mark by crinkling the paper while it soaked up my tears. I blotched them off my cheeks with the back of my hand.

“Hey, if-”

“And don’t.” I cut him off instantly before he could even utter another word. “Don’t tell me other people are going through the same thing.” I shut my eyes close, heaving a slow and heavy sigh. “I know. Everyone in my major goes through the same process. I’m weak. Even though I try to act like I’m the best student. My tolerance level can go down the drain for all I care.” I paused for a moment, mentally telling himt to resume whatever he wanted to say but knew he couldn’t read my mind.

But from the pause he knew what it meant and picked it up quickly, clearing his throat. “I was about to say if you want to cry, you can. I can tell that you’re holding it in and I don’t even need to see you.” I sniffled, the feeling of wanting to burst into tears again came about, rising in my body and making my chest clench. “It’s okay.” As if on cue, I screamed, cried, poured it all out. I threw my phone down, the call still on as I wailed into my palms, pressing my face against them. I’ve never had such a breakdown in months, simply shoving it to the back of my mind and kept ignoring it till it came out like this. A full blown terror.

I wanted to talk, yet my mouth couldn’t form any words. All that came out were sniffles as I calmed myself down. “I don’t really have much to say on this. And you probably don’t even want to hear me talk but you should take a break. Really. Just one day. You need it. Because you seriously don’t sound okay.” I couldn’t help but breathe out a short laugh, a very weak and effortless one. “I never thought of that, Captain Obvious.” I rolled my eyes, a smile cracking through for a brief moment.

He chuckle on the other end of the line. “You thought of it but didn’t put it into action.” He stated, sounding slightly firm. “Yes.” I admitted dryly. A few beats of silence passed, I could hear his breathing, calm and soothing. “I think I should, um, go now?” It was suppose to be a statement but due to me trying to recover from my mess, it came out as a question. I could hear him licking his lips. “Yes of course. Oh and hey.” “Yeah?”

“Do you need help with that rest day of yours?” I didn’t reply, giving it a long throught. “I probably won’t even be doing it.” I said through a sigh, beginning to pack up my things to head out of the library. “But you should. Actually, you will. I want to make sure of it.” I couldn’t help but furrow my eyebrows at his unexpected tone of determination. “Don’t you have other people to attend to for your call service?” I questioned.

“You’re actually the first one.” I could tell he was feeling rather embarrassed, letting out a tight laugh after his statement. “And I don’t even know who you are.” I was now walking out of the library, phone still to the ear while I adjusted my tote bag on my shoulder. “For starters, I’m a dance major. I’d like to mostly keep my identity hidden for now. Unless you want to meet.”

I gaped my mouth open ever so slightly, somewhat in disbelief. “You want to meet?” I echoed his question back to him, head tilted mere degrees to the side. “Well I have to make sure you have that rest day of yours. How can I when I don’t meet you?” I chuckled softly, the corner of my lips perking up. “I’ll think about it. At least I have your number now.”

“Always at your service, miss. Have a good night.”

With that, the call ended. I didn’t realisd just how much time passed by simply talking to him. It went by so fast. It was already getting pretty late by the time I checked my phone for the time. I made my way back to the dorm, the cold breeze of the night kissing my skin gently and blowing strands of hair into my face that I had to brush off. I looked up to the sky, for once the world was quiet, at rest, and just for these few hours, I had always admired how I could breathe the freedom of mere minutes while I went to the dorm.

Yet, while admiring the ink black sky, the conversation I had with the call service guy resonated in my head, I laughed at how weird it was, pouring all that I’ve bottled up till now to someone who was of no significance to me. He probably won’t even remember we had this conversation, only passing it on as his first service call. He was also only doing his job, simply being there for me to talk. Why was I even taking this seriously? I could never rest. I could never take a break. I always had moments like these to treasure at heart before I awaken to everything going full speed yet again.

I walked to the lecture hall, watching students happily walking on campus with their friends with the sky a mix of blue and white. It was a regular day. Hopefully, if I didn’t have any assignment and I could focus on studying.

Just then, a whole ton of screaming could be heard, but it was muffled and drowned out due to how far I was from the source. But it sounded horrendous. As if a boy band had just entered the campus and send billions of fangirls to their way. I wanted to continue walking but the squeals of excitement got louder and closer to me. I turned my head to the back. “Ah... why didn’t I think about that?”

There’s the group of guys again. Too popular for their own good. Everyone was shouting their names, swooning over each one of them. I wonder how they didn’t find having to deal with that annoying. Or perhaps it was just an act. I backed away from the hallway to watch them strut by casually, the group of girls following closely behind. But just then, for a brief moment, a guy wearing a black adidas jacket walked past me, mutttering “I really shouldn’t have followed you guys today.” He rolled his eyes and went out of sight. I turned my head to the right, where I could now see his back. He looked petite yet lean, with orange hair of a natural tone, the under part of it being black. What stood out to me the most was his adidas jacket. Wasn’t that the one from the library?

“Do you guys actually go through that every single day?” Jisung groaned out finally taking a breath of fresh air as they entered the room, feeling as if he got swallowed by all the attention throughout their trip to the playroom. Mark picked up a basketball from the side and began bouncing it casually to the couch where the rest were getting settled. “Today’s especially crazy because it’s our group’s anniversary.” Jisung gave an unimpressed look. “Do you think I don’t know that?” He shrugged in a blasé, god-could-care sort of way.

“How’s your call service thing going? We know it’s was your doing. My timeline’s blowing up about it this whole time.” Jeno questioned. Jisung sat at the corner of the couch. placing his forearm on the armrest and leaning his body to it. “Funny how it’s all girls and they all talked about how they couldn’t get you guys to notice them. It always had something to do with one of you.” Jisung laughed carelessly, remembering back the calls he’d been receiving throughout today. Jisung tried his best to suppress his laughter to not sound rude. Even if Jisung found it ridiculous, he wasn’t in the place to say anything about it. His call service was meant for him to console the people who called, no matter the situation he was being told.

However, another thought that came to focus was the call that he specifically had late in the night. It was his first call. And whoever that girl was, she certainly made an impression on Jisung. How she was letting it all out, being free enough to tell someone like him about such deep feelings. It was raw and transparent. The conversation never left his mind. Jisung zinged back to attention when he heard Haechan scoff loudly. He turned to him, seeing him leaned back, shoulders and back relaxed and cool while he had his weight placed on his leg and his arms folded. He then clicked his tongue and said, “Not surprised.” nonchalantly, clearly showing that he was already used to the large amount of girls swooning over him through his voice.

“So are you guys free tonight? We could take a break and hang out.” Everyone nodded their heads followed by hums filling the room signaling that everyone agreed, except for Jisung. “Jisung, you in?” Renjun asked. Jisung took in a deep breath, glancing sideways and giving it a thought. He slowly shook his head. “Why? Are you busy?” Chenle asked quizzically. “Have an assignment.” Jisung blurted out, though he had other reasons.

The rest planned to head out together after spending time in the playroom. Jisung was left in his dorm, pacing back and forth from one end of his room to the other, eyes looking to his phone each time to turned. What was he waiting for? He wanted to ask himself, as if he didn’t already knew the answer. He was so drawn in to her. The way she spoke, the honesty in her voice. It’s as if he didn’t even need to look at her to know how she was moving and what she was doing.

Jisung scratched his head furiously and on the edge of his bed heavily, grabbing his phone and letting it sit in hand loosely. “She wouldn’t call again, would she? But I did imply that she could meet me if she wanted to. She might not even call again.” Jisung muttered to himself constantly, hopping from one possibility to another, raising his hopes up and bringing them back down. Jisung groaned loudly in frustration.

“Why am I even...” Jisung threw his phone to his bed and stood up again with a grunt, wanting to resume his assignment that was almost finished. All it took was one call to have him this tangled and have his mind wrapped around a simple phone call. Worst part is he didn’t even knew if he could ever see her. He could only depend on his chances and luck that she’d want to contact him again.

This time I decided to study in my dorm, too lazy to go down to the library. It wasn’t the best environment to study. My bed was literally mere inches away from my study table, constantly wanting to pull me into throwing myself on it and shut out each time I looked at it. It was a bad decision to have my room planned out like that, but I was too lazy to move it. I tapped the end of my pen against the table rapidly, my mind going black as I simply stared at a random spot on the wall. I wasn’t having the adrenaline to do my work today. I was simply doing it for the sake of doing it, not having a clear goal.

I turned to my phone, being a remembrance of my call with the service guy. I had thought about it the whole day, whether I should give him a call. But I was overthinking it. What if he’s busy? What if he had other people’s call to deal with? All sorts of questions popped up, but after giving it a long thought, I flipped my phone screen faced down harshly, shaking my head vigorously and tensing my hands on my scalp.

“Concentrate.” I stated out boldly to myself right smack in the face. I repeated the same word as I got ready to resume my studying. I couldn’t be thinking about a mere call. It was just a call. One time I let out my now spilled out feelings. I was empty now, so there shouldn’t be a need for another call. I could continue what I always did.

Jisung’s friends had been realising how he’s been zoning out more often than usual. And he wasn’t as outwardly as he had always been. They pampered him a lot and treated him like their own child. But there was something that made Jisung feel different around them. Jaemin nudged Jisung in the elbow, making him jolt to sit up right in shock and shooting his head to Jaemin. “Huh?” Jisung let out.

“Have you been okay lately? You seem to have something on your mind often.” Jaemin asked, his eyes scanning the room and seeing the rest of their friends minding their own businesses. Jisung blinked his eyes rapidly and shook his head. “You sure?” Jisung puffed up his cheeks and let the air out through a sigh. “You know my call service?” Jisung began, he knew Jaemin would recognise the slightest change in Jisung’s behaviour. Everyone did, that was how much they cared about him. But Jaemin was the first one to bring it up so might as well. Everyone will know eventually.

Jaemin hummed in response. “My first call. It was very late into the night when. It’s a girl. And hers, was different than the rest I’ve received. As she talked, I felt that she was hiding nothing from me. That she was letting it all out for me to hear, not caring about who I was.” Jisung whispered. “I felt her desperation, her cries of help. Though she said she’ll manage it somehow, I got the feeling that she wouldn’t be able to. That she’ll crumble the more she continued.” Jaemin nodded his head slowly, processing Jisung’s words. “And so?”

“I mentioned to her that if she ever needed a call, she could do so. Or better if we meet. But she never called. And I don’t know who she is, which is what’s been on my mind. The frustration that she made such an impact yet I haven’t found out who she is.” Jaemin puckered his lips and looked upwards thoughtfully. “Did she mention anything about herself? Her major, or anything?” Jisung recalled their conversation that was etched in his mind. Jisung frowned and shook his head.

“What time did she call?” “One or two in the morning?” Jaemin gasped in disgust. “Who the hell-”

“Law and psychology students.” Jeno suddenly came into the conversation seamlessly and casually. Jisung leaned back and raised brows. “Really?” Jisung asked. Jeno scoffed and nodded. “They have tons of shit to study. From what Jaehyun tells me, they’re always staying up super late going through papers.” Jeno imitated a gag and a shiver in objection. “I could never.” He added.

“There’s so many students in those majors. How am I going to find her?” Jeno arched a questioning brow. “Find who?” Jisung sighed and motioned a hand to Jeno while looking at Jaemin, raising his brows for a moment. Jaemin waved a hand at Jeno when Jisung dropped his hand on his lap. “I’ll tell you guys later.” With that, Jeno shrugged mindlessly and went off. Jaemin adverted his attention back to Jisung, who looked even more discouraged than before.

“My poor baby. Listen, I’m sure you made an impression just like how she did on you. If she doesn’t call again, who knows. She might try finding you instead of giving you a call. Or you can just pray and gamble your luck. If you want, I’ll help you find her. You know my connections always come in handy.” Jaemin flashed a reassuring smile that Jisung didn’t hesitate to reciprocate, though it was smaller. “I’ll figure something out.” Jisung muttered, clicking his tongue.

I didn’t want to do this at first, but it kept bugging me the whole day, as if it was something that just had to be done by occupying my mind for almost the whole day. I walked out of the lecture hall, head scanning across the campus with my eyes wide open and attentive to find him.

From what I remembered, he said he was a performing arts major. And the only person I knew in that major was the one and only Ten, who I always saw lurking around the cafés on campus while I made my way back to the dorm. Luckily, I saw him sitting on a bench outside one of the cafés, munching on something while he played his phone. I instantly ran up to him, feeling a sense of hope rising while I accidentally poked Ten in the arm too hard to get his attention, causing him to wince. He looked up and recognised me, instantly flashing a welcoming smile.

“Oh, hey!” Ten shouted, his eyes forming a thin line while he waved at me with his chocolate croissant in hand. “Can I ask something briefly and perhaps even do me a favour?” I asked, slow and nervous with uncertainty. Ten raised his eyebrows quizzically. “Mm sure.” He simply replied. I exhaled and looked him in the eye. “I’m assuming you’re having your break now. Would it be possible for you to take me to your practice room? I know it’s random but I have something I need to check.”

Ten didn’t reply for a long minute, probably wondering why such a vague request came out from someone who would most likely have her time occupied almost 24/7. After waiting in anticipation, he finally shrugged and rose from the bench with a grunt. He proceeded to stretch his back, turning side to side and sighing in satisfaction. “Alright. I can take you there now.” With that, he went forward down the hall, walking as if leaving me behind. I stared at his back for a moment before quickly moving up to meet his pace.

We didn’t talk on the way there. Luckily I didn’t have to worry about us being awkward since the walk from the cafés to the practice room was only a few minutes. I was looking around when I almost bumped into Ten due to his sudden stop of motion and turning to face a door. I peeked inside and I could already see the full wall mirror that I saw dancers usually use. I turned to Ten, who jerked his head to the door, motioning me to open and enter the room.

The moment I placed my hand on the door handle, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of nervousness in me, wondering if I would even find him since I have zero idea on how he looked like. The only evidence I had was the fact that I saw someone wearing an adidas jacket who I assumed to be the one I was looking for. But that was such an unreliable assumption that I knew I couldn’t fully trust, but still try to find a way to use it to my advantage either way.

I pushed the door open, instantly bombarded with hard stomps coming from the people dancing. I felt the floor shake tremendously from the intimidating impact that created. The music was blasting from the speaker in front of them, along with a bottle which I assumed to be marked as the center of the stage. I watched silently, feeling Ten’s presence behind. With a glance over my shoulder, I could tell he was eyeing the performance with much concentration and intensity, eyes squinting as if analysing each and every one of their movements to a T.

I brought my focus back on them. It didn’t take my eyes long for it to focus on one person. The adidas jacket guy. One guy was wearing it. He was also wearing a black cap, blonde hair poking out from the bottom. His figure was small yet attractively lean. I couldn’t see his face at all. Yet, I was so drawn to him. Not just because he could’ve been the one I was looking for, but the fact that his dance was engaging, and nothing compared to the rest.

They got to a moment where everyone exited and it was just him alone in the center of the room while others waited by the sidelines. My mouth gaped open slightly, watching him go. His movements are seemingly perfect, every part of his body moving fluidly like water yet intricate and hard hitting. It was impactful, loud. He stood out, and I could picture the whole room going dark with a single light shining on him, and only him. I could tell he was expressing himself and giving his all. I didn’t need to have background knowledge on dance to see that in him.

The dance lasted for about five minutes, and I had my eyes locked on Adidas Jacket guy the whole time, too immersed to the point where I didn’t even feel Ten poking my shoulder. “_____?” He called out, making me blink my eyes rapidly upon hearing his voice and turning my head around. “Yeah?” Ten ruffled his hair. “They’re done. You can check whatever you need to check now.” I let out a soft, “Um...” while turning my head back to the front, eyes glazing over the room and looking for Adidas Jacket. I stood there frozen, not exactly sure what I even wanted to do in the first place.

I turned around fully to face Ten, adjusting my tote bag. “Actually, I think I’m good. I’ll go now. See you around?” It was more of a greeting than a question. But either way, Ten downshifted his head and moved his body out of my way to the door. “You too. Come more often if you’d like.” Ten smiled kindly. I simply reciprocated back the smile and walked out, not saying anything about Ten’s last comment.

At the dorm, I had my arms and legs spread out while I laid on my bed, blankly staring at the plain white ceiling while I tried to connect the dots, or even just simply having everything laid and mapped out in my mind. How was I even sure that could be him? His physique seemed to be similar from what I remembered, the jacket was another clue too. But how could I confirm it? I have yet to check the time the moment I came back, and I already knew hours had gone by.

“Who even are you?” I asked to the ceiling, directing it to the mysterious call service guy who had my mind hung up in him and having my busy life off balance.

“Who are you?” Jisung questioned silently, though it was loud enough that Renjun had to peek his head over the bunk bed to look at Jisung who was below. “What are you talking about?” Renjun asked. Jisung turned his head to the side, showing Renjun his side profile and closing his eyes with a quiet sigh. “It’s nothing.” Renjun shrugged and headed back to sleep.

Jisung had his mind on her the entire time, who could she be, how he could find her, and even where to start? He knew nothing about her. And that’s the thing. He didn’t know exactly what was making him think about her so much, it was just their call in general. He had zero information on her. And if what Jeno said was true, then he was probably thinking about going through such extend with his idea to get even a glimpse of her.

That very day once he ended his dance practice which was around evening with the sun beginning to shine brightly, he went to the library. What was his plan exactly? He wanted to wait in the library till he could find her. But how would he even know? He didn’t even know why he was doing this in the first place. He was simply placing his bet on faith and praying that the hours he was about to spend in the most dreadful place ever would not go to waste.

Not knowing what to do, he ended up huddled in a corner of the library, using the bookshelves on both sides of him to lean back and rest his head. He hated being in libraries, he hated anything to do with academics, which was why he chose to pursue his passion for dance. Though there was still dance theory, it wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be. But being surrounded by books that offered him no information he wanted to know about had him feeling dizzy and bored to death.

He checked the time on his phone, eyes widening at how late it was. He felt his stomach squeezing, a low grumble coming from it while desperately asking for food to enter his system. He face suddenly lit up, remembering how he had leftover bread from the bread store he dropped by during his break. He instantly took it out and ate, watching the sun come down through the windows and turning the sky from blazing red to ink black, welcoming the night with the moonlight shining in.

He has yet to notice anyone that caught his eye. He started to think that he could have possibly missed his chance. What if she was here but left when Jisung had his guard down? What if she wasn’t even here to begin with? Should he just leave and not waste more time? Jisung was desperately holding onto his last string of hope, that was already fraying and could snap in a matter of seconds. Too tired of staying in one place, he decided to take a walk around the library.

Jisung went to the study area, the spot where he stood from gave him a clear view of everyone in their seats. Fair enough, there were students who looked like they were about to stay the whole night here, which made Jisung sniffled in disgust. How could anyone even put up with that much studying?

He was roaming and scanning his eyes lazily over the books tucked neatly and tightly on the shelves, taking long strides while he walked. Suddenly, his phone vibrated in his hand. He brought it up in front of him, seeing an unknown number displayed. Picking up the call, and he greeted, “Hey! Always at your service. What do you need?” in the most cheerful way he could put out. Though the exaggerated sigh he let out while picking up the call might’ve been heard from the other end.

“Um hey. I don’t think you remembered me but I’m the first one to call. You know uh, stressed out girl? Need a rest day girl?” Jisung widened his eyes at the realisation. It was her. “Uh...” He stammered, quickly bringing his phone down to take a screenshot of her number before placing it back on his ear. “Hey! How have you been? Glad you called again.” Jisung turned around to lean again the bookshelf, arms folded while he looked down.

“It’s been fine.” She replied. Jisung could already feel the uneasiness in her tone, shining through her words. “You aren’t.” Jisung stated outwardly, unintentionally sounding harsh. “Have you taken your rest day?” Jisung asked out of pure curiosity. This was the moment of lucky coincidence, one that he had to make full use of so he wouldn’t let her slip out of his grasp. “Not exactly? I’m at the library again. Had to complete a project.” Jisung’s eyes widened again, this time till his eye ball could’ve fallen out of his eye sockets.

Jisung quickly and hurriedly made his way to the study area, where he last stood. And there she was. He could feel the hairs behind his neck standing upright like soldiers with goosebumps being sent all over his body. She’s the only student there, the orange lamp illuminating the small area surrounding her. Jisung could only see her back unfortunately. Jisung would’ve ran up to her and surprised her. But something in him made him want to just admire her from afar. “You seem to be putting that rest day off? Have it tomorrow. It’s a Friday either way.” Jisung mentioned, eyes narrowing down on her back.

Jisung watched as she sighed and a ran a hand through her hair quickly, somewhat in distress. “Can you force me to?” She whispered, lowering her voice. Jisung blinked his eyes for a moment. “You want me to force you? I don’t want you feeling forced.” She chuckled through the phone, sending a shiver down Jisung’s spine. “I know I won’t do it on my own will. I’m just like that. Like I said before, I’m basically driving myself into insanity trying to keep up with my work. Always grinding, always on the edge. And I can never slip off once.”

I called on impulse. My hands couldn’t keep away from typing in the same number now permanent on the bottom right corner of the table. As I hear him speak on the other end, I weirdly felt safe, and comfort. A sense of calmness. “I’m anxious that if I shut myself from the world from one day, I’ll miss out on a lot, and just stress over it while I try getting everything done to be back on the same level.” I gulped, laughing weakly. “I’m stressing myself for no reason.”

Jisung walked from the back of the bookshelves to shift his angle of sight, attempting to get a better look of her instead of just her back. He managed to get a better view, but the side of her face was covered by her hair as she kept looking down on the table, which only made Jisung frown. “Did you consider about the meet up?” Jisung questioned, peeking his head upwards and standing on his toes, trying everything he can he get a glimpse of her without actually approaching.

“Why do you want to meet me? Hasn’t there been anyone else that called you service? You are required to comfort them too. Why am I so important that you would even want to meet me?” Jisung left a long pause. He never expected such a thought. He didn’t know how to reply either. He bit the inside of his cheek, glancing sideways as he tried to force something out, knowing that she would have already suspected something from the long silence he gave. “If I’m being honest, the other calls were boring. Calls that have only been made once. You’re the only person who called back.” Truthfully, he had many other answers, but he all got blocked out when he narrowed his eyes down at her back.

“So me stressing over my life is much more interesting than the rest? I’ll take that as a compliment.” Jisung let out a soft chuckle, taking note to keep his voice low so he wouldn’t get caught. “Sure. Mm if you would escape to anywhere, where would you go?” She hummed in reply, most probably thinking long and hard. “I would...” She trailed, but it was followed by another longer pause. “Actually, I read about a Japanese term before. It’s ukiyo, the floating world.”

Jisung nodded his head, taking it in. “It when someone being detached from the bothers of life.” She sighed loudly through the phone, but Jisung could hear it clearly from the bookshelves. “I wish I could experience that floating world.” Her words grew into a whisper till it became inaudible at the end. Jisung saw her tilting her head down lower to the table, eventually using her forearm as a rest for her head. “Oh I have an idea.” Jisung replied quickly. “What if I become your so-called Peter Pan? Like, I can take you to Neverland for as long as you need. And that Neverland is just for you. It can be anything you want it to be.” Jisung suggested.

She laughed through the phone, a soft laugh that made Jisung’s already wavered heart skip another beat. “I’d love that.” Suddenly, she pushed her chair back, rising up from her seat. Jisung’s heart began to race, swiftly and silently turning his body to the back of the bookshelf. She was walking to the bookshelves a few rows down where he was at. He pressed himself up against the books in anxiety. “And what if I give you the free will to make Neverland? How would you want it to be? Because I know nothing about having a break.” Jisung heard her footsteps, one foot down followed by a few seconds of silence before placing down the next. It was slow and throwing Jisung off guard, thinking about what he’d do once she began to step close.

“I have two options. I’d either fill it with the things you love, or fill it with things I love and have you explore.” Jisung slid over to the nexy bookshelf ahead in fear, now keeping his voice lower than how it initially was. “I’d rather choose the latter. What do you like doing?” Jisung stared down at the floor. “Dancing, obviously. I like to hang out with my friends. Going out to the pet store just to look at hamsters.” Jisung and her giggled softly after hearing him say the last line.

“Hamsters? That’s cute.” Jisung took awhile to process the next part. He suddenly saw a pair of feet, inches away from his. He instantly shot his head up, seeing her standing in front of him. He tilted his head down a few degrees, realising that she was a lot shorter than him and needed to level the eye contact. For some reason, Jisung’s ribcage began to clench, suffocating his lungs and not letting a single grasp of air into his system as he looked at her. She wasn’t breathing either. The pin drop silence fill the small gap of air between them.

I brought my phone down from my ear, letting my hand fall to my side and my phone loosely hand by my fingers that wrapped around it. I glanced down for a moment before looking back up to him, he was extremely tall. “Wait you’re...” I tried to recall my memory while I took a close look at him, specifically his physique and body structure. It looked exactly like the one that caught my eye back at the practice room. “Were you the one dancing?” I questioned, not sure how to phrase it.

He tilted his head to the side and slowly nodded his head. “Um I’m always dancing?” He replied back with another question. But his head slowly tilted back straight, as if something had dawned on him. “You! Were you the one that came in the practice room that other day?!” He shouted, leaned back in shock as he covered his mouth that immediately gaped open at the realisation. I blinked my eyes rapidly and nodded my head. “Adidas jacket guy. It’s you.” I almost copied his posture entirely as I remembered.

The blonde hair, the thin yet lean body. It all matched. It was him. The cap didn’t give me a clear view before. But now, his face was right in front of me. And he was attractive. He had that baby face. All features of him were stunning and fit perfectly into his small face. He even had the looks to be an idol even, especially with those dance skills. “I’m Jisung. Park Jisung.” He finally introduced himself. In all honesty, I didn’t picture him to look like this while we chatted, his voice was low, and didn’t exactly suit the kind of build he had. “_____.” He hummed in response.

“This is...” Jisung broke his eye contact with me, bringing a hand up to rub the back of his neck while he breathed out a chuckle. “An unexpected way to meet. How’d you even find me?” I flashed a devious smile. “You weren’t hard to notice. I could hear shuffling right behind me then I heard your voice.” I shook my head. “What were you doing here though?” Jisung stammered, struggling to even form a sentence of reply. He looked like he was hiding the shakiness under his skin. “I thought I could find you by waiting here in the library.”

I squinted my eyes at his answer. So was he trying to find me all this time while I tried to do the same? “You actually waited here for hours?!” I couldn’t help but raise my voice a notch, too shocked when he downshifted his head. Why would he go through such lengths? Did he not think about the factors? Like how I would’ve not even come here in the first place? Or that I’d walk out and he’ll miss his chance? I had all those questions wrapped around my mind, but as much as I wanted to ask, all I could let out was, “So, Peter Pan.” I stated out loud, resuming the conversation we had on the phone.

Jisung smiled. It was a friendly smile. A warm one that embraced the space around them in the coldness of the dark. It also made him look a hundred times more attractive, with his eye smile that looked as if the world got brighter, and with his teeth showing. He kind of resembled a hamster, oddly enough. “Looks like I’m your Peter Pan now.” Jisung clasped his hands behind his back. “And my first order of business is getting you out of whatever hell hole you’re suffering from. And I don’t care what work you have to do. I’m not going to make you do it.” Jisung shook his head furiously, his bright orange-blonde hair swooshing as he did so, making it clear to me that it was extremely as light and fluffy as it looked to be.

“I’ll clear up my day. I have no lessons tomorrow so I’d usually study-” Jisung brought a finger up in front of my face, articulating it from left to right which a frown. “Nope. None of that. Being serious when I say you need a break. I feel like you have mental breakdowns like the one when you first called like once every week.” Jisung said, a soft hint of whining shining through his tone. “Wait do you?”

I bore my eyes into his, face feigned expressionless. “I mean, I had two mental breakdowns so far. That’s not bad, considering how many times I force myself not to.” I folded my arms, taking a step back to place my weight on one leg as I stood nonchalantly. “Yeah. But you still aren’t living your best life.” Jisung bent forward and smiled innocently, with eyes that looked into my soul and read my heart and mind.

“Pack up. You’re not studying anymore. Sleep. And I’ll meet you tomorrow at 2. Wake up at your own time. Don’t force your body into getting out of bed. Hear me?” Jisung began walking away, and I quickly followed, though I was struggling to keep up due to him taking big steps with his long legs. “Fine.” Was all I said, as we made our way to take our stuff from our separate places. We met back at the entrance, Jisung opening the door for me as I downshifted my head in thanks and went out.

“I watched you dance. It was incredible.” I suddenly let out, thinking about what else I could say about it. “It gave me a feeling that I can never pen down in words.” Jisung ruffled his hair and shook his head, adjusting his hair that looked messy. “Really? That’s nice to hear. But I know I can do better. I’m not the best.” When we stepped out of the library, I felt the cold breeze brushing my skin, too cold till I accidentally let out a shiver. “You seemed to be the best one there. I mean, the one that stood out to me the most.” Jisung raised both his brows, as if surprised such a comment came from someone. “Well I’m glad I was able to touch your heart.”

Moments of silence breezed through us like the cold air as we walked down the pathway. I didn’t know where Jisung’s dorm was, but it certainly wouldn’t be at my building. Was he walking actually wanting to walk me back? Either way, the silence wasn’t awkward. Jisung kept humming and nodding his head to the beat playing in his head, shoulders bobbing and making small movements. All I wanted to do was watch and smile. It made my stomach twist a knot, sending butterflies fluttering along while doing so. He would occasionally make eye contact and let out a cute giggle.

“Wait where even is your dorm?” I questioned. Jisung froze for a moment before quickly bringing his focus back on me to answer. “A few blocks down yours.” He simply said, bringing his index finger up to point in front. It was only now that I realised we were already at the entrance of my dorm building. “No wonder I’ve never seen you on campus before.” I muttered, nodding my head. Jisung adjusted the straps of his bag on his shoulders. “I’m not popular. Not like my friends. But at least my major mates know me.” I chuckle and blinked. “Of course they do. You’re talented.” I sighed and looked up to the sky, which was plainly a blank canvas with stars that could only be seen if you squint hard enough.

“I wish I had something to be proud of.” I whispered under my breath. Before Jisung could even say something back, I brought my eyes down from the sky and shook my head. His mouth was already opened and ready to speak, but he didn’t. “So I’ll see you tomorrow? Is there anything I should prepare myself for?” Jisung shrugged with a soft smile. “Nothing. We’ll just do the first thing that pops in my mind. I’m the type to be impromptu.” I hummed, saying goodnight to him one last time before going into the building, not looking back. Yet I felt his eyes glued to me, which only made me self conscious till I was completely out of sight.

One thing’s for sure, I already knew something that was different about us. I didn’t even meet him for long, but I could already tell Jisung was so laid back, relaxed, moving with his day like a breeze, no worries for the world whatsoever. He liked being impromptu, while I always had my days scheduled so meticulously. He seemed to be the complete opposite of me, yet he was still able to have order in his life. Curiosity spurred in me. I was having that urge to know him more, how he was able to live like that, how Jisung, was Jisung.

Funny enough, Jisung didn’t tell me about where to meet. Which was why I chose to seat the bench right outside my dorm building. I didn’t know how long I was waiting. I did follow his advice. I woke up quite late and stayed in bed watching Netflix shows. I took my time to get ready. And I actually went down a little over 2. I had my earphones plugged in, scrolling through Twitter since I had nothing else better to do on my phone. I didn’t have any games on it, or much of any form of entertainment. I never had time for those either.

Out of the blue, I heard something that resembled a buzz of some sort right beside my right ear. I instantly turned my head to it, leaning back and almost falling off the bench as I sent my bottom to the edge, shocked at seeing a drone flying right beside me. It wasn’t just an ordinary drone. It flew closer to me, and I squinted my eyes for closer inspection. There was a camera. It made me jump off the bench and taking steps back. And with each time, the drone flew closer to my face.

“Hey calm down!” I heard for a distance. My eyes adverted to the voice, seeing a small sized Jisung standing far from me. He tiptoed and waved his hand high, the other hand holding the controller of the drone. I could only laugh nervously as he ran up to me. “Good afternoon to you.” Jisung greeted cheerfully with a bright smile. I gulped and forced a casual smile, though I was still weirded out by the drone that was now circling in front of us. “You like me drone? My friend made it actually.” Jisung giggled.

I pursed my lips. “You chose to greet me with that?” I pointed my finger out with skepticism in my tone. “I’m sure you noticed the camera.” Jisung reached out for the drone, and held it in his hands. How can his hands hold something that big with so much ease? Or maybe the drone was small and his hand made it look big. “I was thinking we could record your day. If you were to actually have fun, you’ll have it on tape so you can watch back and remember the fun when you’re going through stressing times.” While Jisung was explaining, I couldn’t help but notice how brightly he was smiling. It was like the one he flashed at the library that night, but this time it was two folds of it, making the effect of butterflies in my stomach fluttering two fold as well.

“You really thought deep...” I whispered, leaning in to examine the drone while he moved it around for me to look at it from different angles. “It’s not so deep. I thought it only made sense for us to record a day like this. It’ll be fun, trust me.” I could only chuckle and stare down at my feet for a moment before looking back to meet his eyes and asking, “So, Peter Pan, where’s our first stop?” Jisung took out his phone and scrolled through it, I took a peek and realised he was on his notes. It had a list and it was labeled “TODO LIST FOR D-DAY” I giggled softly. “You’re making such a big deal out of today. I’m shocked.”

Jisung chuckled and ran a hand through his hair after placing the drone down on the floor. “Mm I like doing things like this. You know like, doing things out of the ordinary. This is certainly one of the time.” I furrowed my eyes at him while he had his on his phone. He probably felt my eyes searing into him, making him lift his eyes up and staring cluelessly. “So I’m out of the ordinary?” I questioned, tilting my head and feigned intimidation.

“What? No, no! I meant the fact that there’s someone who I need to plan a day out for. This kind of things don’t happen everyday.” Jisung leaned back and lifted up both his hands in defence, only making me laugh loudly and shaking my head. “Calm down. I was just teasing. I’m much for weird than I look.” Jisung raised both in eyebrows and jerked his head down to my phone. I blinked my eyes rapidly at his action. “I can already tell. Who has their timetable as their wallpaper?” Jisung faked a gag, which only made me frown as I glanced at my phone. “Nothing’s wrong with that!” I retorted, huffing and walking forward. I barely took a step before Jisung pulled me back.

“Peter Pan hasn’t even tell you the location, dummy.” He flicked my forehead with his finger, making me grimace. “Oh you dare to do that?!” I gaped my mouth open and scoffed in amusement, glancing sideways before retrieving my eyes back to Jisung. “I’m getting back at you!” I growled. “Till you do something that deserves the need to do it.” My voice grew softer with each word and my shoulders bobbed up while my expression turned into an embarrassed one. Jisung laughed out loud, he seemed to be enjoying himself, leaning back and holding his stomach from all the laughter he did for a full moment.

“Till I deserve it? Why are you so uptight?! Come. I’ll let you do it.” Jisung leaned forward, face meeting my level as he closed his eyes and a child-like smile played on his lips. I stared at him for a long moment. And when he didn’t feel any impact, he opened one eye in question. “Come on.” He urged, motioning his hand to his forehead. I chuckled at this, my hand being brought up like it had a mind of its own and flicked Jisung’s forehead with much force. He grimaced, but covered his pain with a sincere laugh the second after. “There aren’t any rules. Do what you want to me, okay? See, I can be your punching bag if you need me to.”

I gave Jisung a disinterested look. “Mm sure. Enough chatting just take me wherever already.” Jisung laughed at my impatience, sliding his phone into hus back pocket and getting himself ready to fly the drone. It flew up and almost went to my face. Luckily my quick reflexes allowed me to avoid it quickly, resulting in Jisung hissing and mumbling, “Sorry.” under his breath. He began to walk forward with me followed closely behind him as he played with the drone and letting it hover around as it recorded us from above.

We were walking quite a distance. I didn’t expect it to be this far. The sound the drone kept making was already imbedded into my memory. We were walking down a street I was completely unfamiliar with and the sun shining brightly above us wasn’t helping at all, only with occasional times when the clouds covered the sun for mere moments before it became blazing hot again. “Where are we even going?” I questioned, taking a look around my surroundings. Jisung finally let the drone come down from the air. He picked it up and motioned his hand with the drone to the building right in front of us. I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked up to the building.

“I thought about us enjoying the simple things in life. I didn’t want to take you to any fancy or high end places because well, I have no money for one. But it’s also because if you’re going to do this again, I’d want it to be something affordable. A place you can go to anywhere, anytime.” Jisung shrugged while he explained the reason of choosing this place which I still have yet to know its purpose since I saw no sign that gave me a single clue. “That’s deep.” I simply said. Jisung pursed his lips and nodded his head. “That was unintentionally deep.”

Jisung fiddled with the drone to turn it off and passed it to me for me to hold as he opened the door and gave me way. I downshifted my head and went inside. I looked around. It seemed to be a lobby. There was a small counter at the corner and in front was a deep hallway filled with doors left and right. What was this place? I felt Jisung’s presence behind me as he went to the counter. With a smile, the woman behind gave him a key. He went forward in front of me and tossed the key in the air for it to drop to the floor. I raised a brow at his action. I assumed he tried to expertly catch the keys again but failed to do so. I wanted to face but I kept my neutral expression. Jisung picked it up quickly and turned to flash a soft smile before proceeding to walk. I again followed behind.

While I walked down the hallway, I could hear different music coming from each door. Some rooms were silent while other were blasting music so loud yet muffled due to the door blocking out the music. There weren’t any windows on the door that I could peek into to see what was inside, which only made me more skeptical as I tried figuring out what this place was. Jisung abruptly stopped in front of one door, which was at the very end of the hallway. I almost bumped into him but stopped myself by placing a hand near his shoulder where I would’ve bump into.

Jisung slid the key into the keyhole and fiddled around for a moment for the key twisted and the door opened. Once again he made way for me to head in first. A gentleman, that was another thing about Jisung I took note of. I walked into a pit of darkness till I heard Jisung flip a switch and the lights turned on. I gaped my mouth open in awe and nodded my head slowly as I took unsure steps in. “Is this like...” I tried to form my sentence but I was mesmerised by the blank space of the wooden plank floor and the wall sized mirror that stretched from one end to the other entirely. “Your own dance studio?”

Jisung smiled softly and hummed, standing beside me while we both looked at ourselves in the mirror. “Wait. You aren’t actually telling me to...” I very slowly turned my head up to look at him, realising he already had his eyes on me before I even made eye contact. I brought my index finger up and swirled it around beside me to motion to the the dance studio. “Dance, right?” Jisung didn’t reply, only forming a sly smile for a split second before walking to the side while scrolling through his phone. Music began to play through the speakers from the top corners of the room. He placed his phone down and began moving his body to the beat while making his way back to me.

“That’s exactly what I’m doing.” Jisung smiled brightly and giggled, proceeding to close his eyes and continue grooving to the music being played. It was upbeat and relaxing, not like the ones played at clubs. It was chill and something anyone could move to. Except, I couldn’t. With arms folded and wrapped around my chest, I stared at him with a tilted head. Probably feeling my eyes on him, he fluttered his eyes open and looked at me with an innocent look. “Try dancing!” Jisung shouted, blinking his eyelids rapidly. I only narrowed my eyes in response. Jisung groaned and suddenly brought his hands out to hold my wrist, eventually holding my hands in his.

“You said we can do what I like. And I like dancing. It relieves my stress. I’m sure it’ll have the same effect on you if you actually try.” Jisung begged. He slowly brought my hands up, moving side to side, urging me to follow my lead. I was skeptical. This was never my thing. My body was as stiff as stone when I tried following Jisung. I didn’t know how he was simply so natural and fluid. He wasn’t trying hard at all, unlike me. “Hey.” Jisung suddenly whispered, leaning forward so his face was just mere inches away from mine. My breathing hitched in my throat. “You’re trying too hard. Loosen up. Feel the music.” Jisung’s advise was soothing, whispers that went in my ears and could stay in my mind for ages as he looked into my eyes and searched for the specks of uncertainty that he so desperately want to get rid of.

I closed my eyes and relaxed my shoulders. With Jisung’s large hands still with mine, Jisung slowly and naturally pulled me closer to him. I composed myself and tried to keep my cool as much as possible, putting my mind at peace and solely focusing on the music. Jisung hummed and tried to move me again. This time, I was slowly able to let my body loose, getting the beat of the song into my head and slowly bobbing my head to it. I couldn’t help but smile as I began to move however I want, being free. “You’re doing it!” Jisung shouted happily, letting go of my hands and allowing our bodies to dance.

I wasn’t looking at the mirror this whole time. But when I did, I grimaced in disgust, leaning back and sticking out my tongue. “Jeez I look so ugly dancing.” I sighed with a frown. Jisung laughed loudly and nodded. “Indeed. But that’s the whole point. No one’s here to judge you. I can be weird with you, if that’s what you want.” Jisung clasped his hands behind him and leaned forward again, flashing his cheeky smile. I scoffed. “Please, how can a great dancer like you dance weirdly? I mean look at you. Everything you do is flawless.” I huffed out, folding my arms.

Another song began to play. This time it was a slow one. Nothing sad or emotional, it felt like a song that was meant to bring yourself back down to earth. “I wasn’t even good last time. It took a lot of effort to get to where I am today.” Jisunv explained carefully, weary so that he wouldn’t sound like he was beinf boastful. Jisung suddenly looked up to the ceiling thoughtfully and after a moment he opened his mouth like a light bulb of thought above his head switched itself on.

Jisung immediately ran to the door, flicking the switch and turning the lights off. It was dark, but some light was still able to shine through from the cracks of the door, making me see Jisung’s figure, but not the details of his face only if I looked close enough. He went back to me and said, “There. With the lights closed, you can do whatever and I won’t see it clearly.” Jisung shrugged triumphantly. I chuckled and nodded my head in agreement.

After that, multiple songs continued to play. His playlist was probably on shuffle mode but they were all songs I could dance to. I could see Jisung and I moving in the mirror. Again, not obvious, but still seen. Out of nowhere, Jisung pulled me in by grabbed my wrist lightly. He pulled me hard till my chest bumped into his. “Sorry.” He whispered, chuckling awkwardly. Jisung was clumsy, yet cute i. his own way. Another feature of his I began to take note of. It took me awhile to realise how close we were. He could probably feel my breath on his skin at this moment.

I looked up from his chest, meeting his eyes. Suddenly, my surroundings blanked. The music drowned out into nothing and the darkness of the room got even darker. And at the same time, Jisung’s face began to be the only thing that was clear to me. I did notice how attractive he was. But this situation was only making it ten times harder for me to handle to emotions that suddenly spurred inside me. My heart was beating fast and my cheat began to clench tightly, giving me no air to breath in as I stood there breathless for a long moment. Jisung didn’t move either, his eyes wandering my face as if looking at every inch.

It was at this moment that got me to think that indeed, I was stress-free. I wasn’t thinking about the pile of books I had to read and analyse. I wasn’t thinking about what was due next week and what my schedule was. All I had my focus on was Jisung and I. The freedom and lightness I was feeling. It was something I never felt for so long. It’s as if I barely knew such a feeling existed. And all it took was doing something that I wasn’t even good at. Doing it with Jisung. It would be too early to say this, but he could very well be the first person that made me feel this way in my whole college life.

“That wasn’t so bad, right?” Jisung beamed at me as we made our way back to the counter to return the keys. I breathed out a light chuckle and sighed in satisfaction. “Mhm. It was actually... very fun.” I puckered my lips. Jisung went to the counter and leaned forward after placing the key down for the woman to take. He whispered something to her and she nodded her head. She went to the back and Jisung turned around to meet my eyes. “Got a little present for you.” The woman came back with the same key, or perhaps a replica of it. Jisung downshifted his head in thanks and handed me the key. I took it wearily.

I glanced down at it and trailed my eyes back to Jisung. “Why would you give me the key?” I questioned. Jisung took a step in and had his eyes on the key in my hand. He brought his hand up and closed the key in my palm. “I’m giving you access to my most private space ever. That’s because I want you to feel the same way I do whenever I’m in there. Carefree. Effortless. You can go in whenever you want, whenever you need. I don’t have to be there with you all the time. You don’t even have to dance. Just let the atmosphere of the studio calm you. Basically, do whatever. I just want you to be free.”

With each word his voice got heavier with meaning and sincerity imbued, and my heart grew lighter with each breath.

Days go by, and though I didn’t meet Jisung again, he’d occasionally call me late at night to check up on me. And every time I said I was doing work, he’d let out an exaggerated groan and force me to sleep. He sounded like those mothers that keep nagging at you. And with his talkative nature, Jisung and I could go rambling for hours on the phone till one of us sleeps. It’ll mostly be me since I could already drif off to dream land the moment my body hits the bed.

Today, I was feeling trapped in my dorm room. Something in me was feeling the urge for an escape as the walls caved in with every hour passing by. My brain was beginning to slow its gears and I wasn’t able to boost my motivation back up. I glanced to my phone where it showed the time blaring onto my face. “It’s only a ten minute walk.” With a shrug, I dumped everything I wanted to get done by tonight and headed out the door, not giving a single care to look neat and going out in my sweater and sweatpants.

I went into the building, it was dark with only the moonlight from outshine shining in through the glass entrance. I made my way to the dance studio, key in my hand that I already shoved into the pockets of my sweater on my way here due to the cold of the night. I unlocked the door and entered. I didn’t bother turning on the lights. Instead I switched on the small lamplight that Jisung told me he placed there in case I needed it. I silently thank Jisung in my mind as I began to unpack my things.

I took one look around the studio. It was spacious, the plank floors leaving the space wide open just for me. Though I came here to do work, my mind was slowly trailing off to Jisung. His figure slowly appeared, picturing him in my mind as I let his shadows dance in the dark. It was his dance that caught my eye and it was his personality that was making me crave to know him more. I was mesmerised, enchanted by every move he made. Every word he spoke, every clumsy gesture. It was all those things clumped into one that was sucking me in.

I startled out of my thoughts with a quick shake of my head and got to work. Quite a long time had passed by. Jisung was right. The atmosphere of the studio, silent, peaceful, nothing to disturb my serenity. For some reason, I didn’t think twice when I grabbed my phone to call Jisung at this timing. Before I could even press on his contact number, my eyes flickered to the time. 2:30AM. For one moment I thought he’d be asleep. But with remembering about his call service, I knew he’d still be up. My hopes filled me up with I called and placed the phone on speaker phone, placing my phone back down beside me while I continued to write.

Jisung picked up in a matter of seconds. “Hey! How are you?” I smiled softly. No matter the time and place, he never failed to sound cheerful and bursting with energy. It felt as if he was being like that just for me. “Nothing. Just work.” Should not have said that. “What?! It’s two in the damn morning? How are you even- no more studying. Makes me puke every time I hear that.” Jisung feigned a gag and I laughed loudly in response to his disgusted reaction. “I’m almost done, alright? I’m actually at the music room. It’s quite nice being here.” Jisung hummed and I leaned back, placing my hands behind me. “Oh you’re there? Want me to join you?” Jisung’s voice suddenly grew excited. The sudden burst of energy shocked me. How was he able to be so energetic in the dead morning?

“You don’t have to! I was just about to go anyways.” I squinted my eyes and formed a quizzical look on my face. Why did I even say that? I wasn’t even about to leave. “I don’t have classes tomorrow so I can stay up. I know you don’t have any either.” I raised an eyebrow, my eyes going to the screen as I saw Jisung’s name still flashing at me. “What are you even suggesting?” I questioned with a confused tone. Jisung smacked his lips. “Mm to have a night out with you? We didn’t go out for so long.” Jisung cried out. I gaped my mouth open ever so slightly and tilted my head a few degrees at his suggestion.

I leaned forward to my phone, my voice lowering itself to a whisper. “You... actually want that?” I blinked my eyes rapidly, waiting for his answer. Jisung breathed in once and said, “I just said that, didn’t I?” I frowned. “But I want you to rest and-”

“Already out the door!” Jisung ended the call. I sighed. But a smile cracked on my lips at the thought of him coming here.

“What is all this mess?” Jisung complained in disgust. Face scrunched up and nose crinkled at the sight of my books and papers while he helped me to slide it back into my tote bag. He grabbed a stack and placed it on his thigh. Flipping through. I could only see cluelessness in his eyes. “Jeez. This is so not to my liking. Or understanding.” Jisung shrugged and shoved it into the bag, making it the last stack.

Jisung stood up and carried it on his shoulder, instantly crying out as he leaned over to the side where he hung the bag, the weight of it pulling him down. “How do you carry these all day?!” Jisung shouted with utmost shock. I simply shrugged and made my way for the door. “You’d be surprised at how much my shoulder hurts every week.” I said nonchalantly due to the fact it was truly something I’ve gotten used to. I glanced over my shoulder, seeing Jisung bringing himself back up and trying to get used to the weight while walking to me. I opened the door and with a kind smile, moved my body aside to give way for him to exit, which he gladly thanked for with a whisper.

“Anyways, there’s a twenty four hour ice cream shop that just opened nearby. Are you in for a treat?” Jisung questioned, looking down at me. I turned my gaze from the floor and to him, glancing sideways for a quick thought before nodding. “Sure.” I simply replied. I could only follow Jisung, once again not knowing where he wanted to take me. I was familiar with the neighbourhood around campus of course. But I’ve been staying at the campus for so long that I never got the chance to find out what was new about it. Such as a new ice cream shop I never knew existed till now.

The walk there was comfortable silence. I took this time to look at Jisung’s outfit. He was wearing his signature black adidas jacket, track pants and a black cap. It felt like it was something unique only to him. A person I could identify instantly with what he wears. I like Jisung in it. It was a lazy look but he somehow managed to pull it off, naturally good looking. My focus trailed down to what I was wearing, and I couldn’t help but think about just how bad I looked at this time of the night.

Jisung once again abruptly stopped. I was able to dodge him this time and stand beside him. He looked inside the shop while I had my eyes on the sign that said they were open. “They actually do open twenty four seven.” I muttered, instantly realising that Jisung had already entered the shop when I heard the sound of the bells above the door ringing, the door swinging open. I quickly caught up to the door, making it just in time before it closed fully and entered.

I stood beside Jisung, the two of us scanning through the menu above the counter. “Is this your first time here?” I asked. Jisung bobbed his shoulders. “It is. You?” I shook my head. “I didn’t have time to be going out and trying out food that the neighbourhood has to offer. I stick to the food on campus most of the time.” Jisung scoffed softly and turned to me. “Which is practically convenience store food. How boring of you.” My jaw dropped and I breathed out an unbelievable chuckle, punching his shoulder gently. “And how rude of you to say that.” I feigned exasperation and looked up to the menu again after the two of us laughed softly.

I was the first to walk up to the counter, Jisung quickly following behind as I felt his presence being awfully close to my back. “Can I get three scoops of chocolate chip cookie?” The woman at the cashier nodded and turned her attention from me to Jisung. “You?” She questioned. I turned my head to him as well. Jisung squinted his eyes while he looked up to the menu again. He stuttered for a moment before responding. “I’ll just get two scoops of strawberry swirl.” The woman cracked a small smile, almost invisible as she keyed in our order. She told the price and looked at the two of us, waiting for the cash. When Jisung didn’t respond, I quickly took out my wallet. I glanced at hi for a brief moment, noticing that he was looking at me and didn’t hear the cashier. But before I could even slide out my dollar note, Jisung slammed my hand down lightly and took out his money in one swift motion.

“Thanks.” I softly whispered as the two of us walked to the side t wait for our ice cream. I folded my arms and placed my weight on one leg. Jisung sighed loudly, assumingly to break the silence between us. “Three scoops? That’s a lot.” Jisung mentioned. I frowned and waved a lazy hand at him. “Calm down I’ll pay for the three scoops. I’m just craving for it.” I breathed out, now feeling slightly bad that I spent a lot of Jisung’s money since the price was quite expensive. Jisung looked down on me, quirking up a questioning brow. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just saying it’s a lot. You don’t need to pay me.” Jisung quickly retorted with assurance imbued into his tone.

My mouth formed an ‘O’ at the realisation and slowly nodded my head. “We can’t be eating here, right? So where are we going to go?” Jisung ruffled his hair, adjusting the strands that laid naturally and nicely down his forehead. I was still able to see his eyes despite having it covered by the layer of hair. “Our spot.” I blinked my eyes rapidly. “Our spot?” I echoed back, completely clueless.

Jisung flashed me a disappointed expression along with a sigh. “The studio. That, or we can just eat at the park nearby. Oh and don’t expect me to protect you if we get kidnapped. I won’t be strong enough to protect you.” I laughed at the joke, Jisung chuckling along with me. “You dance with such energy and you’re telling me you can’t beat a kidnapper?” I scoffed loudly in amusement. “You’re quite something.” I added on. Jisung looked down, somewhat in a shy manner and smiled before lifting his head back up. “I really am.”

-Just how much was I missing out on

We walked out, ice cream in hand. Jisung seemed to be texting someone with his free hand while I simply looked down on my ice cream and be the first to dig in. The bite felt like a trip down memory lane. How was it that I didn’t enjoy simple things like ice cream during college? Don’t get me wrong I do still eat ice cream, but I never experienced one that tasted authentic, way better than the ones sold in convenience stores. “You seem to be enjoying it.” Jisung suddenly let out, making me head shot up to him and then to my ice cream, which I already noticed that I took more than just one bite already.

Jisung slid his phone into his track pants and got to eating. His jaw dropped and his mouth hung open so wide that it could reach the floor. With the ice cream nestled on the surface of his tongue, he gasped loudly and looked to me instantly. “This is so good!” Jisung squealed with much happiness and excitement, taking another bite instantly and moaning in satisfaction. The two fo us ate in silence as we walked, allowing ourselves to sink into the ice cream’s captivating flavours like a bath.

We entered the park. It was dimly lit, with only the lamps that lined the pathways and lighting the place with an orange hue. Jisung took quick steps forward to sit on the nearest bench. I sat down beside him, a small smile forming on my lips. All that we could see were the lights and trees that had its leaves and branches swaying in the gentle breeze. Jisung had his full attention on his ice cream, ow seeming to be taking small bites to preserve the ice cream and take a longer time to finish it.

“One question. How long have you not come to this park? Or have you never?” Jisung’s question got my mind blank. I thought about it for quite some time, till Jisung had to hum to see if he even got my attention. “The only time I’ve been here was two years ago. For helping out at an event as a job.” Jisung moved his lips to one side. “Question two. Was majoring in law what you wanted to do?” I already knew this conversation was about to get deep. And at that moment, if I’m being really honest, I’m glad Jisung’s the one I’m having this conversation with.

“Yeah. At first I thought lawyers looked cool in those Korean dramas. My only goal at that time was to do any major that I seemed to be interested in and one that could get me rich. Those were my only two requirements that satisfied me. I was always hardworking but I never knew my work could get this overloaded. I wasn’t ready for it.” I took in a deep breath to compose myself, realising how real I was getting about myself. “I only started having breakdowns at the end of last year. Never bothered to take a break due to constant anxiety on how much I could miss out on. All because I want that simple goal of doing well in college for a job that’ll give me good pay. I didn’t even think about what I’d do with the money. I never bothered to expand my goal beyond that. And I think that makes me very low, and shallow minded.”

I slowly tited my head up, wanting the cool air to cool my face. The sky was nothing but plain ink black darkness with only the small moon shining it’s moonlight on us. I closed my eyes, not really caring if Jisung responded to anything I just said. Letting it out for him to hear was all I wanted, all that I need. I kept my breathing steady and collected, the simple calmness of the quiet surrounding putting my mind at ease. “But have you ever thought that you don’t need to keep up with whatever’s around you?” Jisung whispered. I fluttered my eyelids open and brought my eyes down to meet his. We locked eyes, and Jisung reached out in front of me to grab my now empty cup, making my breath hitched in my throat. He always made me stop breathing whenever he got close. What was he, death?

“What do you mean?” Jisung puckered his lips, seeming to be deep in thought before replying. “I get that you want to do well. But you don’t always have to go at the speed this world’s at. It’s not always in the hustle.” Jisung whispered carefully. His eyes never met mine. And with each word and every one that was going to come after, could drive it’s words deep into my heart and soul, like he was seeing right through me. “Look around you. This place, the studio. You would’ve never discovered them if you were so focused. Slow down to see the prettier things in life. Isn’t that what they always say?” HIs words were definitely meant to bring an impact. And it did. My heart sank, not in a bad way. But simply because the realisation and reality was weighting my heart down.

“Technically, you introduced me to the studio and park.” Jisung brought his hand out, as if putting his words on it and placing it in front of me. “Exactly. You wouldn’t even get to know me if you never took time to look at your surroundings and finding my note.” I licked my bottom lip that was extremely dry. My eyes absentmindedly went down to his lips, that still looked unbelievably smooth despite the dryness of the air. “I told you, didn’t I? I can be here for you. Whatever you need. So don’t always think college is everything. I mean, look at me.” I chuckled.

But Jisung was right. I did took time to look at him as a person. He was doing something that wasn’t just interest, but what he loved and had passion for. He’s able to do well and not have to stress over things too much and too often. Jisung was able to carry himself how he wants to and be satisfied with life when I would be satisfied with mine long years down the road. He was the physical representation of ukiyo. The floating world that didn’t bother about the worries of life, and living it his own way, no matter what could appen to him. He was a ukiyo standalone.

“Slow down to see the prettier things the life.”

Jisung might just be that prettier thing.

Jisung and I got close, real quick. It wasn’t a surprise. I already knew I’d want to meet him more often, wanting him to be my escape from the whirlpool of life. He was always a breath of fresh air, a sight for sore eyes. He never failed to make the time I spent with him meaningful to the last second. I quickly grew to realise that I needed to meet him on a regular basis. I needed to take my mind off work, and he was the only one who could do it for me.

I was just finishing lecture, carrying the heavy pounds of books in my hand with much struggle. I was trying to juggle my book on my forearm while the other tried to find for my phone in my pocket to text Jisung, saying I wanted him to come over to accompany me. With a quiet grunt I tried to type with one hand, which to me was an extreme struggle. Just when I decided to stop walking to get myself gathered together, I looked up from my phone, suddenly seeing a group of guys walking just past me.

Murmurs and whispers from different angles could be heard from far away, I raised my brow, watching their backs. One that caught my eye was the adidas jacket. I knew instantly from his figure and bright orange natural looking hair that it was Jisung. I instantly ran up to him, shoving my phone into my bag to just I could have a free hand to tap on his shoulder. “Jisung!” I screamed happily, after giving him a tap I placed a firm grip on his shoulder to stop him. The other guys surrounding him turned around, noticing how Jisung abruptly stopped.

“Who’s she?” One of them asked, his voice sounding arrogant and cocky from the get-go. Jisung gulped and looked left and right, glancing over his shoulder. He suddenly seemed anxious. Jisung blinked his eyes rapidly, sucking in his lips while he rubbed a nervous hand at the back of his neck. “I-I don’t know.” Jisung quickly replied. He stared at me for a moment, eyes cold and would probably feel like ice if I were to maintain it any longer. Jisung shoved away the hand I had on his shoulder roughly, only making me scoff loudly. “What the heck? Jisung you good?” I was about to reach my hand to punch him lightly on the shoulder, thinking that the way he’s acting was just a joke, but with him having quick reflexes, he got a firm grip on my wrist in a matter of seconds.

“Look. I don’t know you. Why are you treating me like you’re my friend?” Jisung’s words were meant to slice. And it worked. I was in disbelief, the large wave crashing over me and wiping me out and the words rolled hard on his tongue. Jisung slammed my wrist down, my whole arm swinging backward slightly from the strong impact before it fell down my side. I looked to my hand and trailed my gaze back to Jisung. I stiffened, trying not to shiver under his gaze. What was going on with him? Another friend of his placed a hand on his shoulder and jerked his head forward. Jisung pushed me off with his cold gaze one more time and turned around sharply to walk away. I gaped, eyes widened as the other looked to each with unsure faces and disappeared along with Jisung.

I stumbled a few steps back from Jisung’s impact. The impact in his words, actions. Why was he like that? He said he didn’t know me. I took a moment to head over to a nearby bench to place my books down and have a break, but it was mostly to think over about why Jisung suddenly acted different. He never seemed like that before. He looked... cold and unapproachable. That look in his eyes when he made eye contact with me, it felt as if he never knew me at all. What was with that sudden shield?

Later that day, I tried to text Jisung. Give him a call, sending multiple texts. He wasn’t responding to any of it. He used to always be free 24/7. Why was he suddenly not online, especially after what had just happened. I wanted to know why. This was the first time he ever acted like that towards me. And it was too odd. We would never meet too often. But without him texting me at least once a day, you could say I was falling apart again when he began to not get into contact with me for a whole week after the incident.

I tried to find him again. Seeing him on campus whenever, I tried to approach him. This time I walked up to him quickly and had a firm grip on his wrist. “Jisung? What’s wrong with you the other day? You acted as if you didn’t even know me.” I said with a nervous chuckle, wanting to seem like it didn’t bother but failed tremendously. Jisung looked at me blankly, expressionless. Like nothing went through his mind with that I said. Or even looking at me. Jisung bit his lower lip, glancing sideways as if he didn’t want to give a single care about my presence.

He slid my grip off his wrist. “I shouldn’t be talking to you.” Jisung said in a monotonous manner. He glanced to his left and right quickly, eyes meeting mine for a brief moment. And in that small second of eye contact, I felt something. His eyes looked sad, like he was feeling sorry. But that look disappeared as quickly as it appeared, and Jisung was out of sight once again.

I was in bed, eyes up to the plain white ceiling that gave me the free will to think about anything. Anything and everything, but it all lead to Jisung. I simply couldn’t shake it off. The way Jisung looked at me. I felt the impact of his push so vividly. I kept replaying the scene in my mind. It was just so not Jisung. It was so off from what he’s like. It seemed like it wasn’t Jisung at all. I turned to my side, phone right beside my face. I picked it up, instantly going to my contacts and clicking on Jisung’s name.

“What’s going on with you...” I said in a soft whisper, my mind trailing off yet again as I stared at Jisung’s name on my screen, so bright and so big. Yet it suddenly felt distant. Jisung, felt distant. A long while had past, and I still contemplated on whether to give him a call. I gave up doing so a few days back. Why did I still have hope? He didn’t seem to want anything to do with me. And I knew it wasn’t because he’s busy. He didn’t want to contact me. He’s ignoring me.

I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath, slow and steady to calm my mind. I was beginning to jump to conclusions. And I really would never want to have that perception of Jisung. Never once thought of him that way, and never will. I would never. I groaned out loud, turning off my phone and placing it back down beside me harshly with the screen faced down. I curled myself up into a ball. It had only been a week. And I was already missing him. His voice, his clumsiness, his cuteness. The sudden change of his attitude, to the whole ignoring and growing distant thing. It was too much. Again I was falling, cracking at places where it got pieced together when I was with Jisung.

Unable to sit still, I got up and walked to my study table, slamming my body down and beginning to do work. I furiously began writing, doing whatever I can to suppress myself. I was growing mad, and if I had to let out my anger, I’d be doing it in the productive way. However, I was only able to keep that adrenaline up for a few minutes till I got to frustrated that I threw my pen on the wall in front of my and balled fists into my hair, screaming till my voice disappeared. I shut up eyes close, allowing the tears that had been welling up this whole time to finally fall, sending myself into a breakdown.

I cried and shouted with all my heart. I couldn’t beat it. I couldn’t do anything without Jisung. I didn’t know what to feel. Anger, rational, disappointment. Perhaps it was all those balled into one emotion I didn’t know the name of. I shook my head vigorously, running a hand through my hair and slamming both hands down on the table, wanting to swallow down my flood of emotions. I can’t be going through this. I had work to do. Jisung’s a waste of my time, and my energy. My feelings for him will not stop me from moving forward. I knew I shouldn’t have met him. He led me to this, to suffering even more on top of my large pile of other stresses I had to handle. He was once my ukiyo, but how he’s far from being one.

“I can’t fucking keep doing this!” Jisung screamed, pacing back and forth in his dorm. Luckily Renjun wasn’t here to hear his rant. He’d been stressed out about it for weeks. It’s almost been a few months. He couldn’t keep this up. He was this close to showing his anger if his friends were to ever hung out with him again. Jisung had one arm wrapped around his torso while the other rested and had his thumb grazing over his bottom lip. He was missing her. He wanted to see her. But he couldn’t. Not when his friends are around 24/7.

At the party later that night, Jisung had no mood for any of it. Not the drinking, not the games. He was at this stupid party just because his friends dragged him. Although he never said no to the offer. Jisung simply went with it to satisfy his friends. He was sick of the people around him reeking of alcohol, people bumping into him every which way, the loud music that could possibly bloa his eardrums. Just how many of these parties had he been to already? And he still couldn’t get used to this.

Jisung was standing by the drinks area, watching his friends on the couch and getting wasted. They’re finding their own way home somehow. Jisung knew they were capable, so there wasn’t any reason why he had to take care of them. He seemed to be so fixated on one spot that he didn’t even realise Jeno was standing beside him after he let out a, “You seem to be having fun.” Jisung came zinging back to reality. “Yeah.”

“I know you aren’t.” Jeno gulped down the red cup and placed it down on the table behind them. He leaned back casually, eyeing Jisung which intimidated Jisung just a little bit. “What’s been going on with you?” Jeno leaned his head forward and closer to Jisung, making sure his words could be heard over the loud music. “Nothing.” Jeno scoffed. “It can’t be nothing.”

Jisung turned his head to face Jeno, flashing him a look that read, “I really don’t care.” Jeno smacked his lips and folded his arms. “I’m the closest one to you. Even though they all treat you like you’re our own baby, I’m the one that knows you best. So spill. There’s no hiding from me.” Jisung groaned out loudly and grabbed Jeno’s wrist, pulling him to a room closed and isolated from this mess Jisung simply hated.

Jisung went in and slammed himself onto the bed, sitting on the edge while Jeno raised both his eyebrows in shock at the little man’a temper, closing the door behind him slowly as the music finally got drowned out. “So?” Jeno began, leaning against the door and placing one leg over the other. Jisung threaded his fingers through his hair, keeping his hand at the back of his head as he tilted upwards to find a way to say his feelings, as if the words were out there for him on the ceiling.

“I have this girl I like. We’ve been hanging out for a long while. But we stopped because one day I decided to be a prick and push her off when she saw me with the rest of us.” Jeno opened his mouth and clapped his hand once. “It’s that girl isn’t it?!” Jeno pointed at Jisung with surprise. Jisung wasn’t exactly sure if Jeno and Jisung were thinking of the same girl, but either way Jisung simply nodded.

“I don’t know why I did it in the first place. I guess I was embarrassed of you guys knowing her and you’ll keep bugging me about it all the time if you knew.” Jisung groaned out, the frustration expertly imbued into his tone though it took no effort to do so. Jeno narrowed his eyes on Jisung, a look that made him know that a long lecture was about to come for him. And he couldn’t escape.

As Jeno pushed his back off the door and walked forward, he said, “So what? You didn’t want us knowing you have a girl you like because you think we’ll invade your privacy? If you want to know, most of us guessed it already. You kept going out at such late hours almost all the time. Did you think Renjun wouldn’t have noticed?” Jeno tilted his head, making sure it was extremely obvious. “That’s why we were shocked when you did that to her.” Jeno added on. Jeno squinted his eyes and blinked them rapidly. “Then why don’t you just explain it to her?”

Jisung frowned, head slowly tilting down to cover his face. “Because I felt bad for doing it and thought she’d be mad at me and wouldn’t want to talk to me again.” Jisung sighed loudly for three days. “I didn’t-” Jisung inhaled deeply. “I didn’t want to face her because I didn’t want to feel the pain of having her get mad at me.” Jeno chuckled, the kind that was in disbelief. “Jisung! You don’t even know if she felt that way!” Jeno slammed a palm to his forehead. “Yes she’d be mad but you should be making the first move to apologise to her! She’s probably crying in bed wondering why you suddenly cut off all ties with her, you dummy!”

While Jeno was giving him an earful, Jisung fiddled with this thumbs, scarping at the hang nails and growing deep in thought. Jeno was right. Why didn’t he do anything to solve it? He simply backed off because he was too afraid to face her after what happened. He was caring for his own feelings more than hers. And now she’s definitely in a way worsr position than he was. “Fuck I’m dumb.” Jeno hummed in agreement, only making Jisung shoot a glare at him while letting out a ‘tsk’.

“Might be too late but talk to her. Right now she needs an explanation. No matter how long ago it was.” Jeno had his voice firm and advisory.

Jisung made his way to her dorm. He had a sinking, anxious feeling in his chest while he walked down the hallway and inched closer to her door.

I was at my table, still studying the life out of me. I knew I’d be walking out of this dorm brain drained and walking like a living corpse when I go for my lecture tomorrow. Just when I wanted to rest my head down, there was a knock on the door. I thought I misheard, but after a long moment the knocking came again. I quickly walked up to the door, swinging it open. Everything paused. My motion, my eyes. It was glued to the person in front of me, which was Jisung.

“Can I come-” “I have work to do.”

I tried to close the door, but Jisung stopped it with his foot. “Please. I owe you an explanation.” Jisung said, voice filled with softness and sincerity. I couldn’t bear to resist. I knew I never could if he came. I sucked in my lips, sighed quietly and opening the door. I walked in, sitting at my study table and turning my chair around. I watched Jisung close the door behind hIm, making his way to the bed, each step seemed to be weary and careful, watching out for himself with every move to make sure he didn’t do anything wrong.

Jisung and I locked eyes for a long time, silence circulating the air. I cocked my brow up in curiosity as to why he wasn’t saying anything. Jisung quickly noticed my change of expression and shook his head as if bringing himself back from a moment of deep thinking. “I’m sorry. For that day. I know I was rude. First I did that, then I completely ignored you.” Jisung bit his lower lip, now avoiding eye contact like he was too embarrassed to meet my eyes. “I did it because I was scared of what my friends thought of me having someone.” My quizzical expression became more prominent.

I sat there, not sure of what to think. Like I said, I never wanted to think badly of Jisung. But after hearing that, it seemed that my underlined feeling of anger became to surface itself after being forced to suppress itself for far too long. “So you did that to me then you ignored me. On top of that completely removing me out of your life like I was invisible. Then you didn’t bother to try and fix this sooner. All this because of what you’re friends would think of me? Of us?” I pointed to myself, my voice growing scarily louder with each sentence.

I smacked my lips and nodded. I didn’t need his verbal reply to know the answers to that. And it disappointed me. “I never thought I’d say this. But that was shallow. Very shallow of you.” I ran a hand through my hair. “Did you know how much I was going through when I couldn’t contact you? All those times I texted and called, you didn’t reply to any of them. And why? For your pride? While I was here balling my eyes out every night unable to do my work.”

I allowed a moment of silence to pass, though I could’ve continued without having to catch my breath. “You used to be my escape. Someone I came to when I needed to destress, be free. But now... you’re just the person that’s stopping me from my goal. Getting work done, it could be stressing yes. But if I’m unable to do work just because of my feeling for someone as low as you...” I shut my eyes closed, wanting to hold back my tears. My opened my eyes and forced them to blare at Jisung with firmness. “I don’t see why you should be in my life anymore.”

I stood up, taking slowly strides to the door. I held the doorknob, turning it and opening the door. I brought my free hand out, motioning to Jisung. “Don’t come back. I can’t bear to see you anymore without having these confusing feelings. It’s something I shouldn’t be spending my time worrying about.” I said sternly. I watched Jisung. He seemed far from stable. He seemed to be cracking at the seams, he was at the edge of tears. He didn’t bother to hide them, the tears seeming to be clouding his vision as it welled up in his eyes. He had his eyes glued to the floor the whole time. A long moment went by till he finally stood up and walked to the door.

Before Jisung left, he stood right in front of me. His eyes met mine, shivering with guilt and instant despair. It broke my heart to see him like this. But in situations like these, I had to choose. Either lose Jisung, or lose myself. “I’m sorry.” He muttered, almost inaudible. He blinked his eyes once and the tears streamed down his cheeks. I reached my hand out, slowly and shakil to place them on his shoulder. He looked down on it, simply letting it slide off when he went. He walked away, and I bit my bottom lip. That was the last moment I saw him.

Closing the door, I let my back lean against the door and slide down till I reached the floor. I thought I wouldn’t feel a single sense of sadness or regret. But at that moment, when I couldn’t even handle seeing Jisung’s back disappear as he walked down the hallway, the shell I had carefully built around my heart shattered, and no number of words of reassurance repeated to myself will piece it back together. I shook my head. If I kept my expectations low, I would stop feeling the throbbing. If I cut off all my emotions, I wouldn’t be so weak. And that was what I was determined to do.

Jisung felt every single word struck deep and low, like a bell toll that shook inside him. As the her hand fell off his shoulder, so,too, did the warmth. He began to shiver. Only cold and pain remained, sharp enough to numb everything else. All his adrenaline, gone, and with it, his sense of feeling. All his life, gone. The ground caved in, and he hit bottom.

Jisung walked away with a heavy heart. Everything he did for her. From the moment she unintentionally made that call to the last time they met, Jisung had it flashed in his mind like a movie tape. She was al the more right to be like this to him. He knew all too wel of the consequences. He had to bear this pain. It was the only right thing to do. He didn’t know how he’ll get over it. But even if he eventually does. he’ll never forget her. Not for a single second. Even if she would be shoved to the back of his mind, he’d dug up for it again. She meant so much to him. And how Jisung will be seeing her no longer.

“Jaehyun stop I swear!” I giggled loudly as Jaehyun continued to tickle my sides. He carried me away from the cashier with his arms around my waist. I laughed out loudly and beg him constantly to put me down. He finally did when I gave him a hard smack in the arm and made him wince.

“You’re laugh is cute.” Jaehyun said with a light chuckle. I rolled my eyes and folded my arms. “Yeah well you don’t have to keep tickling me for you to hear it.” I feigned exasperation, leaning forward against the counter to place my chin on the palm of my hand. “Really? Good to know but I’d still prefer to tickle you.” I shot Jaehyun a death glare and all he did was threw back a playful wink to which I responded with a ‘tsk’.

Jaehyun got close to ruffle my hair. And when he had his hand on my head, the bell above the door opened, signalling that someone entered. I swatted off Jaehyun’s hand, him laughing lowly at my defensive act as I pat down my apron. “Welcome to-” My voice stopped in its tracks. I was frozen. The moment I looked up, I instantly knew the person in front of me.

“Park Jisung.” I whispered, voice growing soft. I gulped, wanting to swallow away any feeling that might surface before I even continued. Our eyes locked. And Jisung... he was suddenly bringing in the sense of comfort through his gaze. I didn’t know how he did it. We’ve never met for almost two years. Yet here he was, suddenly showing up in front of my face, with not a single thing of him changed and giving me the exact same feeling I had back then.

“I’d like to talk. Over some black coffee?” Jisung offered, slowly pointing up to the menu, his eyes never leaving mine. I blinked my eyes rapidly and took this time to glance at Jaehyun, who seemed to he confused yet didn’t want to question or interrupt whatever was happening in front of me. “Why? You have no reason to.” I said simply with a nonchalant shrug. That was clearly a fake move.

“Just a chat. We used to be friends, didn’t we?” Jisung questioned back, pushing his shoulders back and allowing his chest to puff up ever so slightly with confidence. I didn’t know where he was going at, why he was here in the first place. Either way, I didn’t give him a reply, simply turning around to start making the coffee with Jaehyun giving me space.

I went to the table where Jisung was seated, placing the two cups of black coffee on the table. I took a seat at the opposite side. Tight silence circulated us. It made me want to choke due to how awkward it was. I was running my finger around the rim of the cup slowly. “Have you been well?” Jisung asked. “I’m doing great. Got into university and I’m working here part time.” I breathed out. “You?” I asked back. I was genuinely curious.

As much as I was able to get over Jisung, his unknown well being got me to he on edge whenever I thought of him. That could be said with my buried feelings for him as well. “Got admitted into an art school. I’m apparently capable enough to start my own dance crew.” Jisung breathed out a light chuckle and took a sip of coffee. “Look. What I’m here for is...”

Jisung closed his eyes for a moment before opening them back and have it darted to meet mine. “What I’m here for is that I want to start over.” I gave him an expressionless look, mainly because I didn’t know what emotion to show. It was all spiralled into something unrecognisable. A mix of lots of emotions. I had no reply for Jisung, which only gave him a signal to keep talking.

“Every day I’ve carried the burden of missing you. And each day it grew heavier and heavier. I knew it was the weight of my actions, their consequences. And I miss you too much. You meant so much to me, and you still do. I was trying to not break our friendship but I only made it worse. Trust me I regretted it everyday after that.” Jisung’s eyes softened and I grew weak under his gaze. It was gentle and light, it made me fall in a matter of seconds if I didn’t care to put in energy to have a guard up.

“And on top of that, it wasn’t just our friendship I missed. I missed it all. You. I didn’t get to say this, but I’ve liked you. And I always have. It was a feeling beyond the mutual one. It was something more and I came here afraid of how you’d think. I came anyway. Because I’d do anything to get to start over with you again.” I swallowed. It took me time to allow his words to sink in. I wasn’t able to form a reply right off the bat.

I did have feelings for Jisung as well. Though it wasn’t prominent at the start, it began to grew the more time we spent together, which was why it made the situation two years ago far more painful than it really was. Apparently Jisung felt that way as well.

“If I allow it, will you be my ukiyo again?” I whispered, looking down to my cup that I have yet to drink a singe drop of coffee from. Jisung leaned in closer and, his face now inches away from mine. My breath hitched in my throat. He still had this affect on me. The ability to have me frozen and stiff with his gaze and actions. It was something only he knew how to do, the only one who could do this to me.

“Your ukiyo, your Peter Pan. Please...” Jisung leaned forward to rest his chin on top of my head, tilting his head down slowly to place a soft, loving kiss on the crown of my head. One that made me feel as if he was touching something so precious and fragile, the most important thing in the world. “Take me back.” I closed my eyes and took in one deep breath.

“Take me back to the studio after my shift.”

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wrenhyperfixates · 4 years ago

Text

Secret Santa

Pairing: Loki x reader Summary: When you pick Loki’s name for Secret Santa, you are at a loss for what to get him. Some quality time with the God of Mischief sheds some light on the situation. Warnings: pure, unadulterated fluff; very long A/N: It’s almost Christmas now; less than a week to go! And a big thank you to my best friend @lokistan for writing the beautiful poetry for this story. I love you my bean! Happy reading all :)

Tag List: @lucywrites02 @frostedgiant @lunarmoon8 @twhiddlestonsstuff @lokistan @thelokiimaginechroniclesficrecs @gaitwae

Disclaimer: Gif not mine

“Oh my gosh, thank you Nat!” you said, throwing your arms around her shoulders in a hug. She had been your Secret Santa and gotten you the expensive jacket you’d been wanting for months. “It’s perfect.”

Christmas Eve in the Avengers Tower was full of laughter and drinks as the team exchanged Secret Santa gifts. Tomorrow morning you’d be opening regular presents, so it was tradition to set this aside for the night before. It was more fun that way, maybe because you could focus solely on the excitement of learning who had picked your name.

“You’re welcome. I know you were nervous about being able to pull it off, but it’ll look great on you,” she reassured, hugging you back. “Ok, now it’s your turn.”

You shot a nervous glance at Peter, who flashed a thumbs up. Thor, who was sitting next to you, pat your back. You stood and picked up the carefully wrapped package, all decorated in gold and green. You were nervous about what you had picked, but whether the recipient liked it or not, you were happy that this anxiety of if it was good enough or not would be over. You’d rather know. After all, you’d been feeling this way ever since you’d picked the name a week earlier...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Alright everyone,” Tony said, holding a stocking filled with little pieces of paper. “It’s time for Secret Santa. And remember, if you get me, cash is accepted.”

You gathered around with the rest of the team as they started to pick names. You said a little prayer that you would get Peter, your best friend, seeing as you already had about thirty different gift ideas for him. Wanda would be pretty easy, too, as you were also really close with her. In fact, looking around, you were able to come up with at least some scrap of an idea for almost everyone. Almost being the operative word. By the time Tony got to you, there was only one slip left. As you stuck your hand in the stocking, you made a silent wish that it wouldn’t be the one person you had no clue what to get for.

Please, you thought. Please be someone I know. Please don’t be...

Loki.

“And that concludes the name picking process,” Tony announced as you cast a dismayed look at the four-letter name on the paper. “You have a week to figure it out, so good luck.

“Remember, no swapping!” Steve added as the group began to disperse.

You looked around for the trickster, wondering why he was even participating. It’s not that you didn’t want him to, just that it didn’t seem like his kind of thing. From the way he was clenching his fists and scowling, you still guessed it wasn’t. Not like you really knew him all that well, unfortunately. When he’d come to the Tower, Loki seemed like he preferred the solitude. You often wondered if you should have made more of an effort to be his friend, wished that you had. There was this one time you were both reading Macbeth in a common area and had gotten into a very animated discussion about it. Nothing more ever really came of that, though, as he left for a mission the next day and didn’t return until two weeks later. By then, you’d both moved onto different books.

Later, you made a trip to the library, hoping to solve the enigma that is the God of Mischief. You were the only two people who went in their regularly and more than half the conversations you’d had with him had been held in that room. Granted they were all short, but you figured it was a start. In fact, you found yourself rather wanting to have a conversation with him right now. Yes, because of the Secret Santa thing, but also because they’d been getting more frequent recently. With every one, you realized how much you enjoyed talking to him. Unfortunately, he wasn’t in his usual spot by the crackling fire. You considered just leaving, but decided you should at least make some use of this trip. You’d seen him reading some works by James Joyce most recently, and you went to go look for the one he’d had last. Maybe seeing what he likes to read could give you some gift ideas. Your eyes scanned the shelves, but you couldn’t find it. It was possible you were just remembering the cover wrong. Just as you were about to give up, someone tapped your shoulder.

“Pardon me,” Loki said as you whipped around. “I think you may be looking for this.”

He held out the copy of the book you’d been looking for and raised an eyebrow when you just stared at him blankly for a second. Who could blame you, though? He was standing rather close, and he was... Well, quite frankly, he was hot. With his raven black hair framing his smooth, pale skin, and with striking blue-green eyes that stare into your soul, he was the most handsome man you’d ever met. Then again, he wasn’t really a man, was he?

“Oh, uh, yes. Yes I am,” you said, coming to your senses. “Thank you. Did you enjoy it?”

“Very much so. I have read it five times now. I apologize for that, if you were looking for it.”

“Don’t worry about it. You have nothing to apologize for.” He looked rather surprised that you would say such a thing, and you briefly wondered how many times people had made him apologize unnecessarily. “You could even just keep it if you want.”

“No, that is alright. At least, not until you have gotten to read it, too. Perhaps we could discuss it?” he said hesitantly, like he wasn’t sure if he was overstepping.

You looked at the title in your hands. Dubliners. You’d read a few of the short stories in high school and hadn’t enjoyed them much. But you were older now, so maybe your tastes had changed. Either way, you couldn’t pass up the opportunity to have another conversation with Loki. That slight smile and those intelligent eyes were just too captivating.

“That’s a wonderful idea. May I ask what your favorite is?”

“A good question. I think I will have to say Eveline. The way she ends up trapped, the mere emotion in the implication... It’s exquisitely done.”

“Wow, Loki, you have such a way with words. You’re beautiful,” you told him without thinking. As his eyes widened, you realized what you’d said and tried to cover it up. “I, um, I meant that that’s beautiful. The, ah, way you weave words. Sorry, I obviously don’t have the same ability.”

“It is quite alright. They do not call me silver-tongue for nothing, you know,” he said, though he was blushing now. “Still, I look forward to hearing your thoughts. But for now, my dear mortal, I must bid you goodbye. I have a sparring session with my brother to get to.”

He swept into a small, princely bow that made your heart stutter. Hugging the book to your chest, you waved goodbye, feeling much more awkward than he had been. You were also about a hundred times more determined to get Loki a perfect gift. You looked at the book again. It was a special first edition, unfortunately, and you couldn’t really do better than that. Besides, you got the impression he appreciated books more when they were well-loved. So, you could scratch that idea off the list.

You sighed and headed to your room for the night. Maybe an inspiration board could help you figure things out. Unfortunately, that led to you having a poster board with pictures solely of Loki. You’d meant to add other things, but you’d gotten so caught up in how beautiful he looked with his soft pink lips and carefully styled hair and... Ok, maybe you had the slightest, tiniest crush on the trickster god, but it was silly. You’d hardly even been friends for half a year. And yet, he was very hard to resist. You ended up destroying your project, cringing at the idea of anyone finding it and taking it the wrong way.

The next morning you woke up just as idealess as you had been the night before. You had been hoping that you could figure something out if you slept on it, but to no avail. Frustrated, you kicked your blankets off and got ready to attack the day. You absolutely hated the fact that you couldn’t come up with a gift idea on your own, and the last thing you wanted to have to do was ask someone else.

Splashing some water on your face, you had another idea that you quickly shut down. You’d thought for a second that maybe you could buy him some cologne, but then you realized you had no idea what scent or brand he used. In fact, you weren’t sure he used and fragrance at all. The smell of leather, pine, and old books that he had just suited him so well you couldn’t help but wonder if it was just a natural thing. Either way, he always smelled so safe, so wonderful. You cursed yourself for letting your thoughts take that turn again. It was a lot easier to ignore this crush when you didn’t have to be thinking about him 24/7.

Traipsing into the kitchen, you found Peter and Thor having an animated conversation about what was better, pecan or pumpkin pie. You wondered if you could bake something for Loki as a gift, then you realized that still required knowing what he likes. You would get him tea, but you already knew for a fact that was what Thor had gotten him as a regular present. Plus it was a special Asgardian blend, so there was no way you could top that.

“Good morning, guys,” you greeted as you tried to decide what to eat for breakfast.

“Morning,” they chorused back.

You bit your lip, coming to a split second decision. “Can I ask you two a question. It’s about Secret Santa.”

“Sure, go ahead,” Peter said while you took a seat across from them.

“Ok, this is top secret, right? So don’t tell anybody.” They both eagerly nodded their heads. “I know you’re both friends with Loki, and well, I picked his name. I have no clue what to get him, though. Any ideas?”

“I have the perfect idea!” Thor declared as you motioned for him to keep his voice down. “Get him some causal Midgardian clothes. You have excellent taste, I am sure he will love whatever you pick out.”

You wrinkled your nose. “Are you sure that’s not just what you want for him? I mean, he seems plenty happy to wear his Asgardian clothes around the Tower. And there’s nothing wrong with dressing up when you go out.” You sighed when Thor just seemed confused by your words, not understanding that his brother had embraced the Midgardian style as much as he wanted to. “I’ll just consider that a back-up plan for now. What about you, Peter? Any thoughts?”

“What if we just went shopping together?” he excitedly suggested. “Then if we see something we think is good, we can just point it out.”

You hurriedly agreed, anxious to get the gift-buying out of the way. The plan was to head out right after your training session with Nat and Steve. Unfortunately, that meant you were distracted nearly the whole time, leaving you with a few more bruises than normal. You loved your teammates to death, but boy did they ever need to learn how to ease up a little in practice. You stayed a few minutes extra to do some cool down stretches, and in waltzed the trickster god who had been occupying so much of your brain space recently. The way he was flipping and catching his daggers as he walked was slightly mesmerizing.

“My apologies,” he said, noticing you. “I did not think there was anyone else in here. I can come back later if you still need the space.”

“No!” you shouted as he began to turn away. It was a bit louder than you had meant to say it, and you mentally kicked yourself. “I mean, I was just on my way out, so please, stay.”

He smiled and set his things down on the bench next to yours. You eyed the daggers that had just been wielded by his expertly trained hands moments ago.

“May I?” you asked, gesturing to them.

He picked one up and handed it to you. Turning it over in your hands, you noticed that handles were slightly worn, but it was still excellently crafted. The blade had obviously been sharpened a great number of times before and was looking like it might need to be again. You’d never personally used a dagger in battle, but the way Loki was so graceful with them made a part of you want to.

“To be very precise with such a weapon,” Loki began as if reading your thoughts, “requires great focus and skill. There is no room for error when used to block another’s attack, and to deliver a powerful blow, you must strike in just the right spot.” A shiver of excitement shot down your spine as he picked up his other blade and began adeptly demonstrating, moving like a flowing river as he sliced the air. “It is much smaller than most weapons, sure. However, it is just as deadly. And if the sword is an extension of your body, the same can be said for the dagger tenfold.”

You blinked a couple times, beyond impressed by his majestic, fluid movements. It was breathtaking. He was breathtaking. Now you just had to find a way to say that without sounding obsessed.

“Wow, Loki,” you finally gasped, unable to hide your amazement. “I don’t know how you do it, but you even make weapons sound beautiful. And you’re very talented, too. I could never,” you nervously laughed.

“You are too kind to me, my dear mortal,” he said, and you felt a spark of pride in your chest that you were making him blush yet again. “You are not kind enough to yourself, though. I am certain you would be excellent. Perhaps you just need to find a teacher.”

“Would you teach me?” you asked, oddly worried to do so. You tried to calm your swelling nerves.

“Well, I did not mean to imply that I should be your instructor, for I fear that I would not be very good at it.” He watched your smile falter just the tiniest bit and found himself rushing to bring it back to full strength. “However, if you so desire, I can certainly try. I must warn you, it will not be easy.”

“Loki, you’d really do that for me?” Your heart beat a little faster in your chest as he shyly nodded his head yes. “I would love to. And don’t worry about going easy; I want to be as good as you.”

“Excellent! We shall have out first lesson, say, at the start of the New Year?”

After the plans were set, you excused yourself so you could meet your friends for shopping. You were late as it was, and you still had to go freshen up. The whole reason for the trip was you, and you’d feel bad to keep them waiting much longer. Still, you stole one last glance at Loki before exiting.

Hours later, you still had no gift for Loki. You barely even had an idea, much to your dismay. Peter and Thor kept pointing out little trinkets, a couple of which you did pick up as a regular gift for him, but your Secret Santa gift had to be a showstopper. Something about him drew you in, and you wanted to give him the most amazing present you could. If only it weren’t so difficult.

You were walking down a street when you happened to notice the trickster god himself in one of the store windows. You waved your companions on with the excuse you wanted to check something out for one of them and entered the shop Loki was at. For a second you considered just watching him to try to get some ideas, but that was quickly dashed when he let out a sigh of frustration. He just looked so perplexed and adorably aggravated.

“Hey, Loki,” you greeted after clearing your throat. “Funny running into you here. Are you alright?”

“Hello, my dear mortal. Thank you for asking,” he said. “I am alright. It is just this blasted Secret Santa.”

“I know what you mean,” you replied before you could help yourself. “But I’m, uh, not going to say who it is. I mean, you can tell me if you want to, but I’ve already told so many people it’ll hardly be a secret if anyone else knows,” you covered your tracks.

“Ah, I see. It is supposed to be a secret, and I do so ever hate to crack under the pressure, but I find myself in dire need of assistance. Do you suppose you could help?”

You beamed at him as you realized you’d talked with him more in the past few days than you had in the last three weeks. If there was one thing you knew, it was you had better be careful, or you’d get addicted to the sound of his voice. You were on thin ice with this crush as it was, you really shouldn’t let it blossom into more.

“Sure! I’d love to. Who do you have?” you finally said, looking around the store. “Wait, let me guess. Steve?”

“Stark.”

“Oh. Well, he did say cash was fine,” you giggled.

“Believe me, I was tempted,” Loki chuckled along with you. “But I promised Thor I would make more of an effort this time around. I do not know what he is talking about, though. Bruce loved his socks last year!”

You slapped a hand over your mouth as your loud laughter garnered a few stares from other shoppers. Loki’s eyes held only soft admiration, though, and your hands got a little sweaty from how nervous that made you. You subtly wiped them on your pants as you calmed down.

“Well, it you want to get something more personal, I might have an idea.”

“By all means, do tell,” he urged.

“You know that tool set he was talking about the other day?” you questioned, but were met with a blank stare. “I’ll take that as a no, but he was saying he didn’t want to get them because he doesn’t actually need them.”

“When has that ever stopped him before?” Loki scoffed.

“I guess he’s trying something new,” you shrugged. “But anyway, if you got them it would show you were thinking about what he actually liked and stuff. Or maybe that’s dumb, sorry.”

“No, no, it is a splendid idea!” he was quick to reassure you. For a second it seemed as if he was going to reach out and touch your shoulder, but then he thought better of it. “You do not happen to know where they are sold, do you?”

You nodded and led him out of the store you were in, towards the place where he could buy them. You were waiting at a corner for a light to change, amicably chatting. Nothing groundbreaking, just small talk. Regardless, it made your heart beat just a little faster. Still engrossed in the conversation, you took a step out into the crosswalk when the light said it was safe to go. You didn’t notice the car speeding towards you until Loki grabbed your wrist and pulled you back into his chest. You gasped as he glared after the driver, who gave no acknowledgement or apology to you. The god’s arms were wrapped around you in a protective manner, and you looked up at his face, appreciating his beauty at this close angle. Given what had just happened, probably not the thing you should be focusing on.

“My dear mortal,” he fretted, looking down at you, not yet letting go. “Are you alright? You are not injured at all, are you? Shall I take you to the hospital wing to make sure?”

“I’m ok,” you reassured him, though a part of you didn’t want to. He seemed about ready to scoop you up and use his godly strength to carry you home. Alas, your moral compass decided that wouldn’t be very fair to him. “Just a little shaken, but you saved me. Thank you, Loki. That doesn’t really cut it, but thank you so much.”

“Do not mention it. I am just glad you are alright,” he replied, though his voice did still have a tint of worry to it. Maybe you were imaging it, but he seemed almost reluctant to let you go from his tight embrace. “Now, you may carefully lead the way. Carefully,” he emphasized.

With a giggle, you brought him to the store where the tools were. After browsing the aisles for a few minutes, the two of you found the shelf they were on. With a frown, you examined the price tag.

“Sorry, Loki,” you said. “I didn’t realize how expensive it was.”

“It is fine,” he replied, looking at the cost himself. “This is actually plenty within my price range.”

You waited outside of the busy store while he made his purchase and checked your phone. You felt a pang of guilt as you noticed a number of missed texts from Peter and Thor.

Sorry guys, you texted the group chat. Ran into someone I know and got carried away. Carry on without me.

Don’t worry, came Peter’s reply. See you back home :)

You pocketed your phone as Loki walked back out, giving you a smile. You looked at the ground to keep yourself from saying something stupid.

“I hope I am not keeping you from anything,” he said as you started walking back towards the Tower. “Is there any shopping I can assist you with?”

You lamented the irony of the situation. Despite the entire point of this venture being to buy a gift for Loki, you were still empty handed. It was tempting to try to ask him what he wanted, but you were sure he was far more clever than you were subtle.

“No, I’m good, thanks. But if you don’t mind my asking, how do you have so much money?” you asked to satisfy your curiosity. “I mean, Tony’s always complaining about how you use his credit card.”

“That, my dear mortal, is simply because I can,” he replied as you both laughed. “I have been around for much longer than you might imagine. I have amassed a certain amount of wealth in my many years.”

“Wow, that’s pretty cool, actually. You’re making me wish I was an immortal being,” you joked.

“And tell me, my dear mortal, if you were to treat yourself to something nice, what would it be?”

You thought about it for a moment. “Maybe I’d go to a nice restaurant,” you finally said. “It doesn’t have to be anything too far from home. Oh! Like, Nobu has really good sushi.”

“Well then, perhaps I will have to pay for us to have a meal there sometime.”

“Yeah! I bet the team would really like that.”

“Actually,” he sheepishly said, bringing you to a stop on the sidewalk, “I meant for just the two of us to go. That is, if you would like to. Maybe one day after we start our training. You are not obligated to say yes, though. The offer for me to pay is still open if you would like to take another friend instead of me.”

“Loki, no. That’s so generous, of course I’d love to go with you,” you reassured him, settling a hand on his arm. Though, admittedly, you were beyond flustered, especially when you realized how that last sentence sounded. “I mean as friends, of course. It sounds amazing, thank you.”

“Well then, I look forward to it.” He brought his hand to rest on yours, and goosebumps erupted on your skin, not only from his cold touch, but the wave of excitement you felt. “And speaking of our lessons, I was thinking you may want some daggers of your own. We do not have to get them now but-”

“That’s it!” you suddenly shouted, then apologized for cutting him off. “Can I borrow your daggers, Loki? To go get myself a pair?”

He offered to come with you, but you waved him off, saying you’d be fine on your own. It was a little suspicious, he thought, but decided to drop it. Handing you the weapons, he bid you goodbye. As soon as he was out of eyesight, you examined the daggers, trying to get a clear picture in your mind of what you wanted.

A few quick stops later, and after gaining permission from Tony, you were in the lab, carefully crafting Loki’s gift. It took a few days, and you were by no means used to doing this kind of thing, but you were finally satisfied with the finished product. You wrapped it and then hid it with the rest of your presents, just waiting to be given to their recipients. With only a few days left until Christmas Eve, you were filled with an anxious excitement to give Loki his gift. There was nothing left to do but hope that he likes it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

...You looked everywhere but at Loki as you approached him, nerves bubbling in your stomach. By the time you reached him, his mouth had curled into a soft smile. It occurred to you that you’d never seen him look that way at anyone but you. Building on the confidence that thought brought, you held out the gift.

“Here, Loki,” you told him, averting your gaze again. “This is for you.”

You perched on the edge of the coffee table across from him as he accepted the package with a thank you. There was some light chatter coming from the rest of your teammates, but it felt like the only people in the world at this moment were you and Loki, his fingers skillfully unwrapping the present. You sat on your hands to keep from fidgeting with them. It took all your focus to keep your eyes on Loki and not wandering the room in anticipation. As he opened the lid of the box and revealed what was inside, his mouth formed into a surprised “o”.

He picked up the gift, a pair of new daggers, each with a gold hilt. His name was engraved on it, and there was a band of emeralds at the top and bottom. You’d made them the same dimensions as his old ones.

“My dear mortal,” he breathed in awe, his eyes full of sincerity, coming up to met yours. “This is so thoughtful, so beautiful. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Loki. I’m really glad you like it.”

“I do. I love it,” he replied, taking your hand in his for the briefest of moments. He pulled away before anyone could really think anything of it. Neither of you said anything else, instead just staring into each other’s eyes.

“Ok, Reindeer Games,” Tony said, interrupting the moment you were sharing with Loki. “Now it’s your turn. So, who’d you get?”

“Well, actually, I picked your name, Stark. Here,” he said, nonchalantly handing over the gift. Though he seemed completely uninterested, you could tell he was a little nervous. “For you.”

“Alright, let’s see what it is. I swear, this better not be socks or-” Tony cut off, seeing the very thing he wanted. “Wow, Rock of Ages. This is really thoughtful. Thanks. I had no idea you actually listened,” he finished with a laugh.

“You are quite welcome,” Loki said, but he was more looking at you than Tony.

Later that evening, after all the gifts were given out, you were sitting by the fireplace, waiting for the flames to completely die out. You were curled up in the corner of the couch, your feet pulled up next to you, a blanket draped over your shoulders, and a book open on your lap.

“My dear mortal,” Loki’s voice suddenly said as he appeared in the doorway, pulling you from the words on the page. “I thought you were supposed to be in bed, lest Santa skip this house and move onto the next.”

“Yes, but I have to make sure the fire goes out so he can get in,” you laughed, playing along. “As long as I’m up, I wouldn’t mind some company. Care to join me?”

Wordlessly, he sat down, and you closed your book. The both of you just stared at the dying flames in a peaceful silence for a while. Your mind seemed to be content to be filled with thoughts of Loki; the way he was sitting so close, the way his hands kept brushing his hair away from his face every few moments, the way he’d looked at you earlier when he’d received your gift. After you weren’t sure exactly how long, he gently said your name, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“Yes?” you replied.

“I truly do your love your gift. It is beyond lovely, your generosity and thoughtfulness a true reflection of what is in your brilliant soul.”

“Loki, I can’t even express how happy I am to hear that. And thank you for your beautiful words.”

“Speaking of,” he nervously said, “the gift that I have for you, it is, well, my words. A poem. I am sorry to say, I would be a little self-conscious to give it to you in front of everyone else. Would I... Would I be able to recite it to you now?”

“Of course, Loki. Whatever you’re comfortable with. I’m just grateful that you’re willing to share it with me.”

“Alright then, my dear mortal. Here goes nothing.”

You shifted to a more position as he took a deep breath and opened up a journal. You waited with bated breath as he began to speak.

“From your eyes that shine as the brightest stars, to your smile that's a reflection of your radiant heart. From your gentle hands that fit as though they belong in mine, to your laugh that stops my perception of time. You've shown me kindness when I didn't feel I deserved it, you welcomed me into your world with a caring embrace and showed me I am not my mistakes. My heart beats stronger for you, the love that I feel couldn't be more true. If you will have me, I will show you the world, for you have shown me the universe, the place also known as your touch, as your mind, as your heart, as your soul. You, you are my universe.”

He looked at you expectantly, but with a hesitation understandable given what he’d just confessed. You wanted to tell him how you felt just as eloquently, but were dumbstruck that the feelings were even reciprocated.

“Loki,” you said, holding his cold hands in your warm ones. “That’s so beautiful and I-I love you, too.”

He seemed just as shocked as you that the feeling could be mutual. He squeezed your hands, at a loss for words for the first time since you’d known him. With no one to interrupt you this time, you remained lost in each other’s emotion-filled eyes. It was Loki who broke the silence.

“My dear mortal, I... May I kiss you?”

You answered by surging forward and pressing your lips to his. His hands came to cup your cheeks, and yours found his hair, tangling themselves in his dark locks. He tasted like heaven, and you sighed against his mouth. You could have stayed that way forever, and yet it could never be enough. Sadly, you had to pull away, but Loki was quick to pull you against him, holding you to his chest as if he didn’t believe you’d stay, didn’t believe he could have something so wonderful.

You stayed like that for a while, conveying things even words couldn’t say in the silence, just holding each other. Eventually, you began talking, enjoying the way a light conversation was flowing between you. Your eyes were drooping shut as you snuggled against his chest, the final embers of the fire going out. You glanced at the clock and saw that it read midnight.

“Merry Christmas, Loki,” you whispered. “There’s no one I’d rather be with than you.”

“Merry Christmas to you too, my dear mortal. I could write you a thousand poems, and still I would never properly express how much I feel the same.”

As sleep slowly claimed you, it occurred to you that you may have never even admitted how you feel without the whole Secret Santa ordeal. It seemed that it had revealed more secrets than you’d ever expected, and for that, you’d be forever grateful.

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yn-x-animeboy · 4 years ago

Text

Jungkook x y/n (as a famous artist) Pt.5

pairing: reader x Jungkook

genre: fluff, romance, for entertainment purposes

BTS x Fem Reader

synopsis: You are a popular artist in America, pretty famous, loved and well-known by the general public (actually you were one of the top 10 artists in the world but you are pretty humble and naïve to realize your popularity), one day during one of your fan meets you talk about how much you love BTS, and not only how you wish to meet them and work with them but how Jungkook is one of your celebrity crushes. During the meet you fangirled with other ARMYs in the crowd; video clips of you fangirling and talking about BTS at your meet where posted and reposted all over social media. This obviously broke the internet because you were not only a famous singer but you also were always accepted and loved by ARMY and this made a lot of people happy. Suddenly it felt like everyone wanted you to meet the seven handsome and talented idols and collaborate, but you could only wish, you believed they didn't even know who you were...or so you thought

part 4: here

-----

Part 5- TIME SKIP

(a/n I will do another time skip so it wont turn out to be a 500 part fanfic)

Mini Billboard awards recap:

After the drunken hotel chaotic night you all were late for rehearsals, both your and BTS’s staff looked for you guys’ everywhere in the morning and the last place they thought to look for you all was in Jin’s room. Let's just say it was in general an interesting experience to find eight adults sleeping soundly in uncomfortable random positions.

You all finally headed to your rehearsals for the performances. They invited you to watch them rehearse when you were taking a break from your own rehearsal. Even though the guys were tired, hungover, and their muscles ached from sleeping all over the place; they did such an amazing job at rehearsal, they were so professional.

During the live award show your fans and ARMYs lost it everytime you guys would interact during the awards; the fact that you had met them last night and you all seemed to be such good friends now made fans so happy. Once again your name and BTS’s were going viral on social media; a bunch of ‘fancams’ were filmed and posted focusing on you all.

You and BTS won all the categories you we’re nominated for that night and your performances went great too. That night after the award show ended, instead of going to the Awards After Party, you all decided to not go and instead hung out in Jin’s room again for the night. You ordered room service and champagne (this time everyone was only allowed to have 2 glasses max.).

After being all drained form the long day, you all went to your personal rooms. Jungkook again offered to take you to your room. When you arrived at your door you turned and looked at eachother, this time sad smiles painted your faces, you had held in the tears when you where in Jin’s room because you felt sad your first real friends in the industry were going back to Korea tomorrow just like that.

Now you were standing in front of Jungkook, the man of your dreams, a literal fantasy that came true all thanks to your fans and supporters; you couldn’t help but tear up at the thought of letting someone like him go.

You broke eye contact and turned towards the door to hide your tears, a small sniff from behind you made you stop dead in your tracks. Jungkook turned you around and hugged you tightly as he hid his face in the crook of your neck. You also wrapped your arms around him in response.

He loosened his hold and avoided eye contact with you as he was getting more and more emotional, his eyes where red and glossy; he cleared his throat and said “Well I think I should get going, It was so nice hanging out with you y/n- and meeting you, good night” he gave you another tight sad smile and walked off with his head hung low.

You reached him and held onto the back of his shirt, “Don’t go....” you sniffed and played with the back of his shirt. “Do you want to.. maybe... hang out a little longer? O-only if you want to” you said awkwardly, but he smiled and nodded.

You went to the terrazze you had visited just the day before and sat on the outdoor chairs. You sat there talked all night. You stayed up until you could see the sun slowly rising; you both stood up, taking the sunrise as a sign to go back inside. Before you could even begin to move towards the door, “Y/n, can I hold you one more time?” Jungkook said, he was trying so hard to smile and not make you cry, but his little voice crack as he said it betrayed him. You sobbed and hugged him again, after a while he sat down, sitting you on his lap. You stayed like that until you received a “wake up” phone call from one of your staff members.

----

In the morning you all met each other outside the hotel, the boys said goodbye to you one by one hugging you and saving your phone number in theirs. They even made plans, comparing your schedules and timezones, so that they could all facetime you daily.

While you waited for your assigned cars to pick you up, you all teared up and huddled together saying goodbye once again. Paparazzi were peeking through the crowd of security and staff members to get an insight to the sad goodbye.

----- time skip ----

It has been almost a year since the Jimmy Fallon Show. Even though the distance made everything more complicated, the guys have done everything in their power to make time in their busy days to dedicate time for you. After almost a year of daily video call conversations and catch-ups you have become such good friends, they even call you ‘yeodongsaeng’ (little sister) now; (the only one who doesn’t call you that is Jungkook tho, he calls you by your name or by random nicknames).

They have kept their promise after all this time, they facetime you EVERYDAY, they have never missed a day where they don’t call you, sometimes not all the seven members can be there for the call, but even if there is only one BTS member available, you WILL recive a call from them.

You also have individual calls with the guys from time to time:

Jin calls you once in a while when you are making dinner to help you/guide you and or just talk to you.

Suga calls when he is stuck writing lyrics or creating beats for new songs, or just for musical advice. You are always the first to hear new BTS music now.

Jimin calls when he feels like talking, you have become each other's personal psychologists

J-Hope calls you every couple days to have “lunch together” through a screen.

RM calls you too to chat a lot, you both recommend each other good books and even exchange lyrics from time to time. He also asks you to revise english lyrics to make sure they sound okay.

Taehyung calls you for pretty much everything: for advice, opinions, to catch up, for help, to keep him company etc. He always knows how to make you laugh, and regularly interrupts your calls with other members.

Jungkook…. He doesn't just call you “sometimes”, he not only participates in the ‘daily facetime group call’, but he also calls you everyday before you go to bed, no matter what time it is in Korea or how busy he is, we always calls and to wish you a good night sleep; keeping you company and not hanging up until you fall asleep. Plus you two constantly text back and forth 24/7.

You loved calling the guys and catching up with them every day, those calls were the highlight of your day; but every time you got a phone/video call, text, mail, snap, ANYTHING that was sent by Jungkook, your heart always skipped a beat; you felt tingles on the tips of your fingers every time you answer back; you smile stupidly at your phone and even now can’t sleep without your nightly virtual tuck in from Jungkook.

(Deep down you knew your ‘platonic crush’ had become a real crush but you still denied it because in your mind, still, dating him seemed something impossible, but after every conversation you two have had over the course of almost a year left no doubt in your mind, he was the one for you)

-----

One day, you visited your label’s building, you had a scheduled meeting pretty early in the morning, you had never been this early anywhere, it was currently 5:30 am. and you were just arriving. Once you step into the meeting room you are greeted by the intimidating group of businessmen and businesswomen who are part of your team. Even though they are intimidating and powerful; they are kind hardworking people; they really respect you and always listen to what you want or have to propose.

Walking in, you are greeted respectfully by them; the boss of the company stands up, gives you a side hug, and opens the chair next to his, inviting you to sit there, after you take a seat and your manager takes a seat next to you too. The meeting begins going over normal business stuff you don't really understand, (Sam would probably just translate the info later into simple words for you.) They talked about numbers, statistics and percentages until someone’s assistant said the ‘important person’ they had been waiting for was finally ready.

You turned to the door as you expected the ‘important guest’ to come in through the door, but instead his video call was answered and projected on the room’s screen from a laptop.

You recognized him immediately, he was BTS’s PD Bang Si-hyuk, he was the owner of BTS’s label company. You greeted him through the screen in Korean but he actually greeted you back in English before greeting your team.

the meeting’s summary:

Bang Si-hyuk talked about how much BTS liked you as a person and as an artist; and how the Hybe Corporation also really admired and respected you.

He invited you to Korea next week to meet the Hybe corporation, and overlook some business proposals

He also offered for you to participate in RUN BTS, while you were there and hang out with the boys if you agreed.He hinted you would be seeing them more often, which made you more confused

You agreed to go and to visit the company and OBVIOUSLY to see the guys, but still, you were confused as to why this offer was being made, why now, why you, why?

After you kindly thanked him, you also asked why he was doing it. You were confused why make such a big deal for you to visit, and what he meant by ‘business proposals’ you were to overlook there.

Bang Si-hyuk tried to explain in short and simple words; he explained that: Hybe and your label company had had meetings before, overlooking the possibility of merging part of your company under your name with Hybe, they were not only interested in collaborating with you, but actually working with you. This would give you many more opportunities as an artist and for your label’s name. (your company has connections to other music companies in other countries too, but this time it felt more of a big deal to you than the others tbh)

In conclusion if you agreed, and signed the contract; you could become part of the Hybe company while staying under your Label’s name

By doing this, it meant: 1. you had an extra contact in Korea (just like your company had in other countries) 2. extra work opportunities (thanks to your Korean speaking skills and influence) 3. possible future collaborations with BTS mainly, plus other K-pop artists 4. becoming a producer for other artists under the Hype record label (something like what Suge does irl; you are now able to produce or work behind the scenes making music for you, BTS, and others. a.k.a your dream come true) 5. SO ON AND SO ON.

You asked for the papers and after revising them with your lawyer and team you signed it, satisfied and excited tho what's to come.

You worked hard and finished all of your weekly tasks and even worked on things you had scheduled for next weeks. Before you knew it you were on your way to Korea…

You traveled on your private plane; you used it mainly to travel and avoid creating crowds in airports. (this was safer for you, your team and fans.)

When you arrived at Seoul, as you were getting off the plane and looked up after watching your feet as you went down the plane’s steps you saw seven boys stand out from the other people. They ran towards you and huddled around you hugging you tightly, they didn't let go of you, even as you all walked towards the assigned cars and again tightly rode the same car together like that one time after meeting on your way to the hotel. Staff members laughed at the Deja vú they felt as they saw a recreation of that chaotic day a year ago

It felt as if you all had never left each other, no weird silence, or awkward interactions, you all picked up where you left off.

When you arrived at the Hyde building, Hybe bilingual staff greeted you and your team, introducing themselves as the people who would be in charge of our care while visiting.

They took you and the few team members from your staff traveling with you to one of the floors where they gave your team some temporary office cubicles, so they could do their jobs while away from their cubicles back in America.

The Hybe staff also showed you to a private studio/office next to Sugas’s, it was decorated for you, it was spacious, comfy and waay better than your studio/office from back home. They told you they wanted you to have a personal space where you could hang out or work, since it was probable you would now be traveling back and forth from Korea and the US, due to the new business alliance between your companies.

The guys showed you around the building and introduced you to many Hybe staff members. They all made you feel at home.

You visited PD Bang Si-hyuk at his office and met him in person. He was so kind and welcoming, totally opposite from what you were expecting. He told you how excited he was for you to be part of the team and to work with your company. He also asked you if you could record a short video for his nieces who loved you.

Then, after finishing the tour the guys took you to their favorite restaurant in Korea; they taught you how to eat Korean food, how to properly hold chopsticks and about general Korean culture.

They showed you to the nice building of apartments where they currently lived and where you would also be staying when you came here.

You all toured you apartment and hung out the rest of the afternoon, enjoying each other's company.

After having dinner and chatting for hours the boys waved you off as they left your temporary home; they wanted to stay up and drink (again Jimin’s and Jin’s idea) with you but they knew you were super jet lagged from the time difference, fighting off sleep as you tried to enjoy your time with the guys.

They lived in the same apartment complex, but a different building, (a lot of famous Korean celebrities stay here too due to the security and convenience)The apartment complex was almost like a hotel resort or a private villa/island, it was huge, it had everything, form tennis courts, gyms, cafés, etc. It was also close to all the major ‘artist’ studios, sets, buildings.

So once the guys left, all they had to do to get home was ride the elevator down to your building’s the main floor, walk a bit, enter their building, get on an elevator, go up a couple floors, walk a little more and then into their shared million dollar apartment that was a literal castle compared to your apartment. (your apartment was big and luxurious too, but theirs was a multimillion dollar apartment)

You just arrived and felt so at home, everyone was so nice and promised to take good care of you. Nobody looked down at you or your team for being foreign or for being the ‘new guys’. Everything felt again like a dream. One day you are talking about BTS to your fans, the next you meet them, the next you are making contracts with the company they work for, the next you will be working with them; What’s next?

For now you are in Korea for two weeks max. The plan was to introduce you to the company, talk about future plans, projects, etc., and once that is done, go back to America and every couple of months or weeks depending on the schedules, travel back to Korea, etc, etc.

----

You brushed your teeth as an uncontrollable smile painted your face. Once you got ready for bed and finished texting your staff members making sure they were comfortable and well taken care of after a long day, you heard a knock at the door. You cringed at the noise, you felt as if you were hung over almost, in reality really you were just super Jet lagged (the day before coming here you binged watched a TV show in one night, packed just hours before leaving to the airport and ditched sleep all together before and during the plane ride...stOpid) You stumbled around the unknown apartment with the lights off towards the door; it was not that late at night but who would be looking for you right now.

When you looked through the peephole you recognized them immediately; their hair was now a little longer from the last time you saw them, they had different earrings decorating their ears, they seemed different, still super attractive, but that smile did not change at all, it was still that adorable bunny smile that seemed melt your heart every time.

You quickly typed the alarm code, unlocked the multiple locks on the door and swung it open, revealing a nervous Jungkook, you had hung out with him and the guys less than an hour ago, but now he was nervous… (he was scared you changed your mind about him after almost a year from meeting and seeing each other in person, he was scared that he was not you celebrity crush anymore, he was scared that the real feelings he had developed form all your daily video calls, texts, random phone calls were not corresponded, he was scared that you had forgotten about those night at the terrazze, he was scared you had changed after a year).

As he stood frozen you couldn’t wait or control yourself any longer and you flung yourself towards him; you hugged him as tight as your body could (during all the time you hung out today you never once had a moment just the two of you alone) but as you leaped and wrapped your hands around him you started thinking about him and how he could be feeling right now and couldn't help but feel a little insecure, (what if he had come all the way back here to tell you whatever happened a year ago in New York at that terrazze was a mistake, that all the calls and texts were just friendly exchanges, what if he came to tell you you were better off as friends or worse.. better of as colleagues…)

It took Jungkook a split second to respond to your hug, you loosened your grip as those thoughts had sworn in your head, and after realizing Jungkook was not hugging you back, so you prepared yourself to get your heart broken… but that all went away as Jungkook wrapped his arms around you, he lifted you a little off the ground as you rewrapped your arms around him, hiding your your face in the crook of his neck. You inhaled his scent as he held you even tighter against him. He rocked your bodies lightly as you held each other in front of your door.

After, you loosened the hold on each other, but didn’t let go, you looked into those beautiful dark brown eyes you had missed and had prayed to see in person one more time after all this time; He lifted his hands from around you and cupped your face, lightly stroking your cheeks back and forth with his thumbs. “hi” you said, just like that one time in that New York terrazze, “hi” he responded with an adoring smile as his eyes traveled through your face, looking at your every detail, he didn’t want to miss anything, h was so glad to finally see your face in person instead of on a 2-D cellphone screen.

As you two stood outside looking at each other you suddenly shivered a little from a cold air breeze that swooped by, it was pretty chilly outside compared to your comfy apartment’s room temperature, it was almost winter; you gently took your arms from his neck and wrapped them around you to warm you up. You had answered the door barefoot, in your pajama shorts and oversized flowy t-shirt without thinking twice. But you then realized Jungkook was wearing a short sleeve oversized shirt too, it was pretty chilly outside and he came all the back to your apartment not wearing a hoodie or jacket.

“Omg Jungkook it's cold outside why wouldn’t you wear a jacket, jeez” you said as you pulled on his arm leading him inside the apartment to keep him from the cold. “Actually I came back here to get my hoodie back,” Jungkook said. A small “Oh…” escaped your lips as you switched on the light illuminating the once dark room “I see” you again said, almost whispering, avoiding his look as you walked deeper into the room to look for the missing hoodie. You felt disappointed almost, ‘he came back for his hoodie duh, why would he have bothered coming back to ONLY see you’ you though as you looked in the living room, you didn't see the hoodie there so you then went to the small dining room next to the kitchen to see if it could be there, ‘maybe he took it off before we all sat and ate the take out dinner for dinner’. You spotted the black fabric neatly sung over the seats’s back where JK sat earlier.

Jungkook took off his shoes and tried to catch up with you before you could take the hoodie off the seat and after seeing your reaction to what he had just said; yes he actually did leave his hoodie by accident, but that wasn’t the reason why he came all the way back, so when he saw how your face dropped and heard that reply of yours, it gave him the courage to say why he came back.

He took a deep breath and cleared his throat before saying “Um, y/n, actually, ‘me forgetting my hoodie’ was just an excuse to come back here and see you again” he swallowed and looked down at his feet. “I don’t really care about the hoodie, I wanted to come here and see what would happen; if you would be excited to see me alone, if you would be glad or happy it was me at the door, you have no idea how bad I wanted to be the first and only one to hold you as you got of the plane, how badly I wanted to run towards you, picking you up and not let go, how bad I wanted to spend the day just the two of us and just- um *clears throat again*” he fiddled with his fingers, he was so nervous to admit that outlawed he didn't even notice you turning back to look at him as he confessed. You found his actions to be so adorable and cute.

You giggled and stood in front of him, once you were closer you carefully took his fiddling hands in your left hand and used your right hand to lift his face up to look at you. “Thank you, you made me really happy by coming here to see me, I missed you so much too and couldn’t wait to hang out with you again, I only wished for an opportunity where only the two of us could hang out, but you took the courage to come all the way back here, thank you” you responded to him and his actions with a warm and loving smile that made Jungkook’s legs feel like giving out and heart feel as it could explode.

He again observed your face now under a brighter light, he couldn’t believe how your face could look so, or more, beautiful then you face with the light makeup you wore just hours ago. You broke eye contact and spoke, “So um do you have to leave anytime soon?” as you looked anywhere but his face. Your tired eyes and shy tone warmed his heart even more “No, I don’t….. why?” he lowered his face, closing a big gap of space in front of you, forcing you to stop avoiding eye contact and look at him again.

“Well um I was thinking we could hang out again tonight. I could make some…. *you yawn* popcorn and watch a movie, or I could make some coffee and we could talk, or…..” you wanted to keep going but you felt another yawn coming so you stopped talking to fight it off. Jungkook chuckled at your adorable yawns. He took the hoodie he had forgotten in the first place form the chair behind you and put it over your head.

“Y/n you are tired, I think it’s best if you rest and tomorrow we could find a way to hang out again just the two of us…” he said as he fixed the hoodie around you, but you cut him off, “Please don’t leave, I haven’t seen you in a year Jeon Jungkook.” you realized how needy and clingy you sounded, but you actually did want to hang out with him.

You rubbed your tired eye, fixed the hair around your face (your hair was inside the hoodie but some baby hairs tickled your face) and looked back at him, his eyes were wide and surprised at your reaction to him leaving, “I’m sorry, it’s okay, I get it. I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t feel like doing, it’s okay...guess i will see you tomorrow then” you said as you tried to hide the sad look off your face and smile at him.

He was moved, the fact that you didn’t want him to leave meant so much to him, he took you face in his hands and kissed your forehead softly, he then kissed the end your your nose he then kissed the space next to your lips, he didn’t want to kiss you and make you feel uncomfortable or taken advantage of; but you being you, immediately spoke as he kissed the side of your lips ``aye that is not my lips...what a tease” in a sleepy tone. He chuckled as he opened his eyes and looked at you. You had your eyes closed, head slightly looking upwards and a smart smile, as you found your own reaction funny.

He chuckled and blurted out: “cute..”. You opened your eyes to clap back, but before you could even open your mouth and say something back he leaned in again, shuting you up real quick…. but he leaned slowly…..very slowly…..v eee r y slowly…...SUPER SLOWLY, he was taking his dear time, he now discovered he liked teasing you like this. You got impatient and just closed the space between you for him, giving him a short peck before pulling away. This was the first kiss you have had after a year; you walked around him to tease him back for teasing you in the first place. He stopped you by placing his arm around your waist, “Are you expecting me to accept ‘that’ as our first kiss after being apart for a year…” he said.

“Oh, so I’m not a good kisser? Was that not good enough.. okay… I guess I-'' you played the victim but were quickly cut short by Jungkook pulling the hoodie on you towards him and stealing a kiss from you.

You smiled against his lips at his neediness, but kissed him back as you placed your hands on the back of his head, sliding your fingers through his hair. He slid his hands under your hoodie and placed them on your bare waist, and pulling you even closer. You kissed each other slowly, taking in every detail about the kiss, not wanting to miss a thing; as things heated up you picked up the pace, the sweet kiss turning hungry and deeper. He moved his hands from your waist downwards and your once delicate fingers playing through his hair suddenly pulled softly making him groan against your lips; he squeezed his hands behind you making you whimper against his lips, he used this as an opportunity to deepen the kiss even more; he had lifted his hands and placed back on your sides as he softly caressed your skin under the hoodie, you wanted to to that too; so you slid your hands from the back of his head, down to his chest and too, under his shirt, you could feel his abs tense as your cold fingers lightly brushed against his skin, continuing to slide your hands around his torso, and gently running your fingers on his skin. That action made his breath hitch at his throat and his heart skip a beat.

The two of you kissed passionately taking the other deeper, not wanting to let go. After a while you both slowly pulled away, breathlessly and numb from the kiss, you both wanted to go further but knew it was not time yet. You rested your foreheads together as you catched your breaths, looking adoringly to the other person, swollen lips, rosy cheeks and curious eyes.

He spoke first, as he used his finger to soothe the skin under your eyes, “You need to rest y/n, come on”, pulling your arm and leading you. You thought that meant he was leaving, but this time you didn't fight him back; but instead of leading you towards the door he lead you to the big fancy couch in the living room, he turned on the TV to a random Korean variety show and lowered the volume to the point were if there isn’t absolute silence you couldn’t hear a thing the TV was playing.

You both sat on the deep couch, he lent you his arm behind your head as a pillow as you sat closely next to him, the silent TV and warmness coming from the handsome man next to you quickly started to drowse off. Jungkook planned to keep you company until you fell asleep and then leave you to rest comfortably.

JK watched the screen as he waited for you to fall asleep. Once he could feel your breathing rhythm became deeper indicating you officially had given in to sleep, he looked down to you and smiled at how adorable you looked, he stared at you for a little longer as he reflected on how lucky he was his once celebrity crush now actual crush was so close to him; he was so glad to have such an amazing person in his life and prayed he never had to be without you in his life ever again; he badly wished he could have you as his and only his but he understood the circumstances, he was happy he could athletes share precious moments like this with you.

Jungkook shifted in his seat as he was about to stand up to leave you the full couch to rest, but you turned towards him, and wrapped your arms around him. “Don’t…” you whispered against his shirt, you were asleep but your sleepy conscience managed to say that. Jungkook couldn’t resist, he planted a soft kiss on the top of your hair, he then pulled you back with him from a sitting position to a horizontal one as he laid his back on the couch taking you with him without waking you up. He too quickly gave in to sleep as he held each other.

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a/n: I'M SO SORRY for taking so long to update, I had writer’s block and had no idea how to pick up the story, but last night I got inspired hahaha. I re-wrote this part and started writing part 6&7 so wait for those too.

THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT, ILY :3 Xx

PART 6 ------> here

> NEXT PARTS WILL BE BETTER I SWEAR <3

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