#i pretty much just need a corset and some belts and i could totally dress up as like. a dark version of keika.....

[milf-harrington]

AWW YEEAAA I FOUND MY VAMPIRE SHIRT

[spiralhigh]

ranking the sdr2 cast by how much their formal wear hits

this is just my opinion, but my opinions are great and i know what i’m talking about! this will be long so it’s under a cut

S TIER:

s tier is reserved for only the best of them all, the cream of the crop, the fit that i would gladly lay down my life for. s tier is the crown jewel. s tier is what everyone else should strive to be... but only one can take the prize.

#1: AKANE OWARI

the undisputed champion. this look is everything to me. EVERYTHING. the red-trim cape with the fur. the contrast of the airy, gathered blouse with those skin-tight shiny (leather? vinyl??) pants. the pumps. the belt that screams disco style. the necklace accentuating the tasteful titty window. the red white and gold color scheme  are you FUCKING WITH ME miss owari this look could bring ARMIES to their KNEES in an INSTANT. whoever drew this deserves full creative control of the danganronpa franchise and i’m not kidding

A TIER:

a tier is for the fits that frankly own bones. they’re not as jaw-dropping and legendary as owari, but they’re still razor as hell and deserve to be met with riotous applause.

#2: KAZUICHI SOUDA

kazuichi, i didn’t know you had it in you, but this FUCKS. the character of the pins on the lapels, the sneakers, and the mispinned tie. the absolute CLASS of the suspenders, watch, and tiny round glasses. the handsome slick in the hair now that the greasy beanie is gone. the tasteful highwater. he looks like the host of the larry king show if the larry king show was exclusively about ska bands and he has never looked better

#3: HIYOKO SAIONJI

tell me this isn’t the cutest shit. the colors here are EXQUISITE. the bright notes from the blue on top, the way the soft pink is a perfect middle ground of the pink + white flowers on her sleeves, the subtle way the green in her bow matches the green in her collar, the white petals breaking up the sky blue that might otherwise look out of place? remarkable. stunning.

#4: PEKO PEKOYAMA

the ELEGANCE is EVERYTHING here. the monochrome is offset by just a splash of red that ties everything together with her eyes and the flower in her hair, the checkerboard pattern is visually interesting but not distracting, and her hair in that loose ponytail with the little white ribbon? ugh. ADORABLE! but most of all, look at those BOOTS. those CUTE LITTLE HEELS on those SICK LACE-UP BOOTS..... QUEEN shit!!!

#5: CHIAKI NANAMI

rounding out our a tier is chiaki in this adorable little dress just LOOK at her!!! she looks like a little rose, a perfect flouncy skirt with a glittery mesh overlay, a fun and fresh over-the-shoulder collar, a fucking big old bow tied in the back?? i can literally feel the way this dress would feel in my hands. it’s simple and perfect and frankly a GORGEOUS color on her this is flawless

B TIER:

b tier is a perfectly respectable place to be. these fits lack the lustre and flavor of the a tier entries, but they’re still dressed to impress and they still look fine as hell.

#6: TERUTERU HANAMURA

say what you will about teruteru (and i do) but this suit is ADORABLE and it fits in with his theme + talent better than any other mfer on this list. the tasteful white/brown/red palette gives it a flashy chocolate cookie look, which is amplified in the fun pattern on the jacket. the chef’s hat switching out for a little top hat and the way the cumberbund looks a lil bit like a chocolate bar is also VERY cute

#7: THE IMPOSTOR

now on its own, the suit is just alright. a vibrant pinstripe blue three-piece with the classic red tie wouldn’t land the impostor in b tier on its own... but that FUR COAT, LUXURIOUSLY DRAPED OVER THE SHOULDERS does WONDERS to pull this look together. not only is it worn with “yeah, it’s real mink, no, you can’t touch it” confidence, but it also ties the otherwise arbitrary white loafers into the structure of the look. it’s subtle and class as hell.

C TIER

c tier is full of looks that are... fine, but ultimately either are boring, lack cohesion, or have a confusing design choice or two that make it hard to get all that amped about. c tier is a passing grade, but nothing more.

#8: NAGITO KOMAEDA

there’s a lot that’s good about this outfit, but there’s also a lot that doesn’t really work. let’s start with the good: the slutty loose bowtie and collar, the tight-fitting vest that ends before the hipbones so you can see the belt, the cute little ponytail? (chefs kiss) exquisite, all of it. but the suit itself is boring as sing, and who the hell decided to put the t-shirt symbol on the sleeves??? was it to add visual flavor to an otherwise bland suit? this does NOT have the black/white/red elegance that peko had.

#9: FUYUHIKO KUZURYUU

the silver and gold mob-boss look, complete with matching shoes vest and fedora, are a nice nod to fuyuhiko’s talent! the plaid is teetering on the edge between fun and garish to me, but the fact that it’s consistent and the only pattern means it isn’t too offensive. quick question though: why are his pant legs rolled up like that?? this isn’t a cute “cuffed at the ankle” look, dude looks like he had to wade across a pond to get to the venue. what gives

#10: GUNDAM TANAKA

out of everyone here, gundam’s suit might be the most boring of all. the scarf is just his normal scarf. the red tie and trim don’t do anything to tie the look together. the only mild point of interest is the asymmetrical vest, and i can’t even tell if that’s intentional. simply put, this “““fancy”““ outfit isn’t even in the same ZIP CODE as the level of ostentatious chuuni that gundam serves us every single day in his casual wear. maybe even worse than being ugly... it’s disappointing.

#11: IBUKI MIODA

now, look. is this dress buckwild and ugly as hell? yes. but you know what else it is? it is IBUKI MIODA’S DRESS. there might not be a single cohesive thing about this dress aside from its color scheme. the huge poofy ruffles of the skirt and arm things with the spiked bow and corset are baffling. the artist somehow managed to draw the awkward, clumping shape of the skirt to make it look exactly like an emergency cosplay sewn four hours before a convention. frankly, i can’t justify ranking it as a c! but i’m doing it anyway, because the sheer level of craftsmanship demands it, and in this house we respect diy queens that are totally off the shits.

D TIER:

d tier is for outfits that aren’t offensive, exactly... but like, they sure don’t look good! d tier is not a respectable place to be. those in d tier won’t be laughed out of the ceremony in shame, but they should really run their outfit by someone else first next time.

#12: NEKOMARU NIDAI

now don’t get me wrong: i have nothing but respect for the titties-out look. keeping the shirt unbuttoned all the way down to where the lapels of the jacket end? that’s sexy as hell. however, this flawless idea has a confusing execution. why emerald green and orange? what’s with the... long-sleeved printed (hawaiian?) shirt? why the red pocket square? and the jacket itself, while fitted perfectly along the chest and midsection, has a weird, unflattering scallop shape flaring out at the bottom. i want to like this fit, but there are just too many bad choices.

#13: HAJIME HINATA

oh, hajime... literally nothing about this ensemble is it. the creamy manila suit might have had potential if there were literally any color variation in the vest (or potentially shoes) to give it a little more shape, or even if you just went with a white shirt underneath it! i could get behind a light, off-monochrome look! but that leprechaun-green shirt is downright perplexing to me. it looks like a mistake! did you get dressed in the dark? did you spill something on your other shirt? this is a mess.

F TIER:

f tier is inexcusable. f tier should never have happened. how does it get this bad. who did this? who’s responsible for this?

#14: SONIA NEVERMIND

y’know, the colors are pretty! i dig the white and teal! but... girl... what the fuck is this construction. the ruffles are all over the place. the bodice looks like it has less fabric than space it needs to cover. the bottom half of the skirt looks like it was sewn on as an afterthought because the top half was too short for dress code. what’s with the weird choker collar detached from everything else. why is the hairband a slightly different shade of green. so many decisions were made here and none of them are flattering

#15: MAHIRU KOIZUMI

yknow, i like the idea behind this. i can see what you were going for! the dress on its own might have worked, even! but everything else about it is just... so ugly. what the fuck is happening with those shoes??? the sheer black tights aren’t the sexy OL look you think they are. the collar of the dress looks like it’s... braided for some reason??? those earrings are so huge for no payoff, statement jewelry with nothing to say, and worst of all... that headband. GIRL. that headband and that belt...... there’s nothing here. also i love orange but it’s not her color.

and finally... the worst.

#16: MIKAN TSUMIKI

what the fuck. what the fuck is this. this is straight up cheap rubber fetish gear. why is the HAT rubber? that skirt ruffle makes this look like fucking polly pocket clothes. why the fuck is she wearing that. the clothes are so bad that it makes her hair look like rubber too. was she dared to wear this? is this some cruel punishment? i don’t even know what to say. this is the worst possible outfit. there is not even one redeeming quality about it.

[amphtaminedreams]

Paris Haute Couture Week S/S 2020 Plus a Little Jacquemus: Okay, Dior DID Suck (Part 1/2)

Hi to anyone reading,

Oh my god. I completely forgot there was also 2 haute couture weeks. I FEEL SO OVERWHELMED. Here I was getting all geared up for the F/W 2020 shows and suddenly it’s Jean Paul Gaultier’s last show and everybody’s (predictably) buzzing about the Jacquemus collection. I can’t keep up. But Haute Couture week is a lot less intense than the RTW shows so I suppose I should be enjoying this relative peace whilst I can. 

I remember my last post about Haute Couture week opened with me defending Maria Grazia from the wrath of the internet; if Jacquemus is social media’s Lord and Saviour, this woman is the Antichrist. She’s Michael Langdon minus the dramatic flair. But the thing is, I genuinely really liked the Dior collection last time. Maybe because I was newer to the discipline of scouring Vogue Runway, but the lack of originality didn’t bother me; it was still something I’d die to wear, gothic yet delicate and relevant for 2019. 

That being said, this time round, I have to open by doing the exact opposite and concurring: this time round, Dior was in fact, utter shit.

I feel mean saying it but...really? These were the slightly more salvageable outfits and my favourite of the bunch, and to be honest they don’t really capture the full extent of how outdated this collection was to me. I know that the concept behind the show was this idea of the divine feminine but Greek Goddess has been done SO many times. If you’re gonna go down that route, you have to bring something new, elevate it in some way. It can’t be THIS generic.

I can’t believe that in 2020 we’re really seeing plaited hairbands. The individual dresses are basic, but not so much the problem as the styling; they look like outfits I would’ve put together back in 2012. That’s not an exaggeration. I think even 2013 me would appreciate that you need to make things a little twisty. 

The colour scheme is pretty, don’t get me wrong, and I like the cowl necks-the white dresses are the highlights. I think the concept of this collection was conceived with all the best intentions. But as a designer you need to take risks and I don’t see one single risk here; there isn’t anything that wouldn’t already be sold in your local H&M. Dior is such an established brand, Maria Grazia has room to do whatever she wants. And yet it just comes across like she’s out of ideas. 

You’ve got to look at a designer like Ulyana Sergeenko:

When I say elevated (but still in the vein of wearable), I mean something like this. To be completely honest, I hadn’t heard of Ulyana Sergeenko until I saw shots of this show on Twitter. But what a perfect mix of kitsch and glamour. The influences are clear: Priscilla Presley, Barbie, Jackie O, Valley of the Dolls, the rich stay-at-home wife of the 60s, the Alessandra Rich/Scream Queens-esque sorority girl, Paris fucking Hilton. It’s exaggerated and it’s tongue in cheek with total grounds to call it trashy-there’s a corset resembling a Benjamin Franklin, ffs-but it’s all done with a wink and a nudge. And in all honesty, I just think it’s beautiful. Can you imagine Frances O’Sullivan (@Beautyspock on IG) in one of these looks? It would be worthy of the Rose McGowan cultural reset meme ten times over.

Everything is feline, from the very literal cat silhouettes and cat headed boa, to the makeup and the hair clips. It reminds me of the last RTW Ralph and Russo show but with even more attention to detail. And look at the STAGE. If this collection were a song, it’d be Disco Tits by Tove Lo. And no, I’m not just saying that because one of the dresses actually does feature a (cat shaped) disco tit. Like these are the clothes I dreamed of putting my Bratz dolls, and for null I’m sure, myself in. Absolute perfection. Plus, I’ve loved Coco Rocha since she was on The Face with Naomi Campbell; she is, after all, to thank for the iconic “check your lipstick before you come for me” line. Girl is really the martyr for all purple lipstick lovers, cut down in her prime by a pissed-off Naomi. 

Onto Alexandre Vauthier, which I also really liked. An interesting yet effortless blend of the old and the new, the masculine and the feminine, if I could sum this collection up in one word, it would be cool. I know, it’s not the most descriptive, but it pretty much sums up how I feel; I’m not AS gassed about it as I am about Ulyana Sergeenko or this season’s Elie Saab (wait for it), but it’s a fresh offering, even if the styles aren’t the most groundbreaking. Stand outs for me are the almost petticoat like, debutante dresses which have Elle Fanning’s name written all over them.

I was hard pressed to find favourites in the Armani Privé collection if I’m honest. I’m not saying it was awful, all I know is that it just isn’t my style. It’s all a bit TOO tailored for my liking, and kinda reminds me of the Zara pantsuits my Spanish teacher used to wear. In other words, I find it to be a bit dowdy. On a positive note, the colours, fabrics, and beading are all stunning, so I see that a lot of craftsmanship clearly went into it; I think my biggest issue is the styling and the shapes (or lack of) on show. I’m very much getting a 20s, flapper vibe and whilst that’s an era that fascinates me and that I appreciate was cutting-edge at the time, I’ve yet to see it be bought into the 21st century in a way that doesn’t look stiff or costume-y. 

Then there’s Azzaro. At the complete opposite end of the scale to Armani, it doesn’t look expensive, which I’m sure isn’t something any designer previewing their collection at haute couture week is striving for. BUT that being said, I’d be much more likely to wear something from this collection than I would from Armani Privé. I mean, I have no shot at ever wearing either but ya get me. 

Whilst I’m sure it or something similar has been done before, the mesh diamanté dress is exquisite and I’m a huge fan of the stacked gem chokers and belts. The whole collection looks like something a London socialite who parties by night but (deep breath in) plays in a shitty band so fancies herself a bit of a rockstar by day would wear (exhale) and as much as that doesn’t sound like a compliment, I mean it as one. I’m talking about the kind of person you’d see smoking outside a bar and think “I wish I was them but I am potato lol”. I mean, as far as faux fur and fedoras are concerned, I’m gonna find it hard to completely slate a collection so this is pretty up my alley.

Chanel was a huge step up from their last RTW collection, imo, and probably on par with their last haute couture offering. It’s that same blend of preppy Chanel detailing (i.e the exaggerated collars, the checks and the lace) and practicality, only even more austere this time round.

It’s funny because when I looked back on original notes on this collection, before I’d even done any research into the context, I saw that one of the things I’d written was “giving me Victorian orphanage madame” as well as “something something Amish” and I wasn’t THAT far off base. The collection is, after all, supposed to be a tribute to the nuns who raised Coco Chanel at the beginning of the century in an Abbey-cum-orphanage. This makes me really happy; I know not everyone’s a fan of Virginie Viard’s nods back to the past and the brand’s origins but as a history nerd, I definitely am. 

There’s also definitely a lot of things that can be translated into high street trends here: the combination of decorative white socks and black shoes is something I’ve seen making a comeback already, tulle is always a winner (I actually don’t mind it as an overlay, I think it’s pretty, sue me) and I have no doubt we’ll be seeing these dramatic collars creeping back onto tops and jumpers throughout the year. It’s been a while since they were a thing anyway and we all know how cyclical fashion is.

Another high note for Elie Saab this haute couture season; if I was an expressive person, I probably would’ve audibly gasped as I looked through this collection. It is SO FUCKING MAGNIFICENT. The colour scheme, the baroque prints, the floral sequinned embroidery, these are Cinderella style ballgowns taken to the next level. Elie Saab really is the definition of opulence and I’m not at all mad about it. Please, somebody put Lana Del Rey in one of these, PLEASE. Remind her how much of a princess she is and get her out of those “soccer mom” looks.

I’m so stuck between this collection and Ulyana Sergeenko as my favourite, and the latter might just pip the other to the post, purely because of the staging and extravagance of the presentation itself. 

Georges Hobeika was predictably phenomenal. Like, I’m not going to lie, I am easily won over by some sequins and tulle, I’ve never claimed any different, and if you can expect that from anyone, it’s this guy (ignore that phrasing making me sound like his proud mother). The colour scheme is very spring appropriate and so is the 3D flower detailing, and if there’s anything good to take from Ascot and English royal weddings, Georges Hobeika knows it’s the hats.

It was another strong year for Givenchy too:

Though Claire Waight Keller is also fond of the extravagant details along the lines of feather and tulle, it’s always done in a more organic way; the details are always more reminiscent of nature, something created by accident, than they are suggestive of painstaking attention to detail, the image of someone hunched over a dress beading for hours on end à la Georges Hobeika or Elie Saab. That is not a bad thing at all; if anything, it makes Givenchy more interesting to study and gives you more to think about. Sometimes a dress takes you a bit longer to fully appreciate, but I’d say that only lends to its memorability. This year’s willowy, billowing, and at times coral-esque structures  remind me of something I can see being worn down an Iris Van Herpen runway, set apart by that delicate Givenchy finesse. And side not: I know this post is to talk about the clothes, not the models, but I got super excited over seeing Sora Choi and Adut Akech walk too. 

Guo Pei is always fun to look at. I mean, this collection is giving me half Matryoshka dolls, half It’s A Small World Christmas edition and I can’t hate on that. 

And then there’s Iris Van Herpen, who knocked it out of the park once again. At this point, I wouldn’t expect anything less. Every outfit looks like something that could be exhibited in the Tate Modern (I know, it’s a basic opinion, but it’s true: TATE MODERN IS THE BEST MUSEUM IN LONDON), or honestly, the Design Museum, just for the genius that must go into the way these dresses move. Honestly, if I can see a goddess wearing anything, it’s more one of these looks than anything in the Dior collection. Like wife of Poseidon or something; I know it’s not very feminist of me to not know the Greek Goddess of the sea’s name but I only know who Poseidon is because I was a Percy Jackson fan back in the day so let me live.

It’s not like the whole under-the-sea theme is particularly new, Zimmerman did something similar last RTW (I think? Correct me if I’m wrong), but these constructions could’ve grown out of the sea bed themselves, which is more of an original take than “oo, blue and white and frothy hemlines!”. Additionally, we’ve got these dresses with the overlapping almost plaited fabric that are-we’re sticking with the goddess references here-fit for Persephone ruling over hell. As for the Grudge-looking dress (fourth down, far left), I could be reaching, but is anyone else seeing that as a nod to the oil spills polluting our oceans? Because that would just add yet another layer to this collection. 

Regardless, it’s all impeccable and I’m in love. Iris Van Herpen as a MET Gala theme. Make it happen.

Anyway, to end on a high note, that’s it for this post! 

Sorry it’s such a sudden cut-off but Jean Paul Gaultier was due to be my second to last to review and due to it being the final show, there’s an onslaught of photos that would not fit with what’s already in this post. Plus, I’d rather start a post with Jacquemus then end it as I feel like there’s a lot of hype around his collections online right now so 1). it’s clickbait (for what, I do not know, as I’m not exactly making any money off this blog, just losing my sanity as it transpires when Tumblr accidentally terminated it earlier today and I had a minor breakdown) and 2). this Steve Buscemi meme is the most accurate representation of only 21 year old me to grace the internet:

I will aim to post part 2/2 in the next week, including JPG, as I just mentioned, the Jacquemus co-ed show, Margiela, Valentino and more, and as always, thank you for anyone who read until the end! You are an angel:-)

Lauren x

[elaineiswithyou-blog]

hi! could request a mha matchup? im a cis girl and use she/they pronouns. im a slytherin, gemini, and an INFJ-T. i like cats, emo music, astrology, iced coffee, the occasional monster, and taking walks. i dont like crowds, public speaking, school, etc. im emo and i have dirty blonde hair that is in a pixie cut in the back. in the front of my face, i have two really long strands and subtle vampire bangs. im 5'3 and im fuller in the thighs and stomach. i'm the most confident now then i was before. i wear black dresses, belt corsets, fishnets, and platform shoes. my color palette really just consists of black unless im not out. i wear red eyeshadow and my hobbies include xbox video games and witchcraft. i consider myself a green witch and i find myself drawn to working with nature. i collect crystals and take care of indoor plants and i feel connected to the moon. i'm a part of a witchcraft academy on discord where they teach you the basics, so that takes up a lot of my time!

i'm very indecisive and usually go with another person's decision rather than my own. i tend to overthink and i usually depend on the person. if i love someone, i get really possessive and sometimes jealous. i've been an introvert since i was a child and i've been diagnosed with social anxiety, which i'm getting help for! i become pretty distant with friends and family that i don't see often, which makes me a bit sad, but i'm too nervous to talk

i go to school for baking! i would like to own a bakery when i'm older. i have two cats and i'm bisexual! i'm also a minor ^_^

thank you so much if you do my request!

I’m glad you are getting help :) Sometimes it’s hard to reach out to people when we feel like something is wrong, I will be putting some links in the notes for people who may need help.  I totally see you being good with Denki Kaminari. He can’t help but fall for introverted bisexuals. With you two it’s a huge case of opposites attract. Denki adores your stomach and thighs and is happy that you are so confident in your body and just yourself in general. He loves it when you wear bright colors on your eyelids and constantly wants to learn how to do makeup, totally starts rocking lightning bolt eyeliner once he figures out how to do it. Denki loves your plants, especially if you have any colorful or yellow ones. He does his best to understand witchcraft but give him some time, he isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. It’s good that you are indecisive otherwise you two would likely but heads a lot. It’s not that he doesn’t value your opinion, Denki is just very opinionated. He is always there for you. Denki defiantly finds your jealousy super attractive. He does his best to help you with your social anxiety, though sometimes he can be a bit overbearing and clingy. Just don’t yell at him, try and be nice and soft otherwise Denki might avoid you if you lash out too much. Denki loves your baking and will eat whatever you make. Denki and you are both two different but also two very similar people and he loves you for you

[dailydianakko]

Undying Au- What chapter is this

help

“Akko Akoo!” shouted Diana sadly. “No, please, come back!” But I was too mad. “Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire!” I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Diana and Vampire. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. I drank the blood all depressed. Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class. I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters. I put my chestnut brown hair out. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced Biology work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Diana! “Akko I love you!” she shouted sadly. “I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!.” Then…………….s he started to sing “Da Chronicles of Life and Death” (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it) right in front of the entire class! Her singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson (AN: don’t u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) . “OMFG.” I said after she was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Diana’s now) at them. “I love you!” I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story. Then we went away holding hands. Croix shouted at us but she stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Blytionbuyry right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether. XXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX We ran happily to Blytoonberry. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. MCR were there playing ‘Helena’. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Diana thought so, I could totally see her getting an erection but it didn’t matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Diana was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn’t them at all. It was.,……………………….. PaUl and da parliment! “Wtf Diana im not going to a concert wid u!” I shouted angrily. “Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them” “What cause we…you know…” she gadgetted uncomfortbli cause girls don’t like to talk a bout you-know-what. “Yeah cause we you know!” I yielded in an angry voice. “We won’t do that again.” Diana promised. “This time, we’re going with an ESCORT.” “OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?” I asked. “So I guess ur a prep or a Christina or what now?” “NO.”she muttered loudly. “R u becoming a prep or what?” I shootd angrily. “Akoo! I’m not! Pls come with me!” Sshe fell down to her knees and started singing ‘Da world is black’ by GC to me. I was flattened cause that’s not even a single, she had memorized da lyrks just 4 me! “OK then I guess I will have to.” I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room. Sucy P’oison was standing there. “Hajimemashite gurl.” she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz ‘how do u do’ in japanese). “BTW Hannah that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math.” “It serves that fuking bich right.” I laughed angrily. Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. “Maybe Hannah will die too.” I said. “Kawai.” Sucy P’oison shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. “Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den Barbara did it with her cause she’s a necphilak.” “Kawai.” I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie. “OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with diana tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr.” I sed. “ I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA.” Lotte Go’thic 666 Nightfall Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. “Omfg totally lets go shopping.” “In Hot Topic, right?” I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde. “No.” My head snaped up. ‘WHAT?” my head spuin. I could not believe it. “Lotte Go’thic 666 Nightfall are u a PREP?” “NOOOO!NOOOO!” She laughed. “I found some cool goffic stores near Luna NOova that’s all.” “Hu told u abut them” I askd sure it would be Duana or Diabolo or Vampire(don’t even SAY that nam to me!). Or me. “Chariot.” She sed. “Let me just call our broms.” “OMFFG Chariot?” I asked quietly. “Yah I saw the map for blytonbury on his desk.” She told me. “Come on let’s go.” We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in BLUYTONBURY. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few dresses. “We only have these for da real goffs.” “Da real goffs?” Me and Sucy P’oison asked. “Yah u wouldn’t believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday Piceis and Finnelan tried to buy a goffic camera pouch.” He shook his head. “I dint even no they had a camera.” “OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!” I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit. “Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit” The salesperson said. “Yeah it looks totlly hot.” Said Lotte Go’thic 666 Nightfall. “You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?” he asked. “Yeah I am actually.” I looked back at him. “Hey BTW my name’s Akko Chestnut dark’ness dementia TARA way what’s yours?” “Andrew Habrige.” He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. “maybe I’ll see you there tonight.” “Yeah I don’t think so cause I am going there with my gf Duana you sick perv!” I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Jasminkla flew in on his black broom looking worried. “OMFG AJJO U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!” XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXX Andbrew gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual).  Jasminka kept shooting at us to cum back 2 LUNA NovA. “WTF NelSon?” I shouted angrily. “Fuck off you fjucking bastard.” Well anyway Barbara came. Jasminka went away angrily. “Hey bitch you look kawaii.” she said. “Yah but not as kawaii as you.” I answered sadly cause Boobra’s really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic. “So r u going 2 da concert wif Diana?” she asked. “Yah.” I said happily. “I’m gong with Diabolo (thatz Hannuah).” she anserred happily. Well anyway Duana and Diabolo came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said ‘666’ on it. She was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson. Diana was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vanss he got from da Warped tower. Lotte Go’thic 666 Nightfall was going 2 da concert wif Dracola. Dracola used to be called Frank but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. They dyed in a car crash. Frank converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was a peasant now.He gav up noblles. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Dracula now. Well anyway we al went 2 Diana’s black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik) that her mom Berenadete gave her (berfore she died). We did pot, coke and crak. Diana and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there…….I gapsed. Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn’t Gerard at all! It was an ugly NOble man wif Wrinklez and  eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Diana. Duana and I came. It was…….Paul and da Nobles! “U moronic idiots!” he shooted angstily. “Ajjo, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now……….I shall kill thou and Diana!” “No no please!” We begged sadly but he took out his knife. Sudenly a gothic old woman flu in on her broomstick. She had lung black hair and a looong black bread. She wus werring a blak robe dat sed ‘avril lavigne’ on da back. She shotted a spel and Paul ran away. It was…………………………………Hilberoook!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ijustwanttowritefanfic]

I Would Never Lie

First Kiss Prompt for @rwbyrarepairweek with everyone favorite lesbian lizard, Ilia, and RWBY’s first known useless lesbian, Weiss!

“I need your help,” Weiss said. “I need to spy on Blake and Sun.”

“I’m in,” Ilia said, grabbing her mask and standing.

“No, no, not like that.” Weiss grabbed the mask out of Ilia’s hand and placed it back down. “They are going to get tea, and I want to listen in. It’ll be less suspicious if we didn’t wear all black and hide on a roof.”

Ilia looked down at her outfit, a black, skin tight suit with her sword and dust cartridges on it. “Uh…”

“Come on, you look my size.” Twirling, Weiss walked out of the room. That butt was much bigger than her own, but she opted not to say anything.

In her own room, a too well organized room that had spots for her school books still, Weiss pulled a red dress out of the closet. She held it up, frowned, and tossed it onto the bed. Peasant blouse and long skirt? Weiss tossed that onto the bed. White dress and bolero jacket? Onto the bed. Pencil skirt and fitted top? They did have similar sized chest, but that one joined the rest on the bed. A corset and dress held Weiss’ attention for a bit, but it joined the rest on the bed.

“Do you have anything with shorts? Or maybe pants?” Ilia said, not the most comfortable in skirts and dresses.

Weiss glared over the top of a green flared dress before pushing it at Ilia. “This’ll look good on you.”

Ilia blushed, taking the dress. Reaching up, she started undoing the buckles on her suit. When the chest piece fell open, Weiss turned a pretty shade of pink and spun around.

“Oh, should I change in the bathroom?” Ilia felt her own blush creeping up her cheeks.

“Yes, please?” Weiss said, pointing to the door that lead to her bathroom. Holding the top to her chest, and the dress in one hand, Ilia skittered into the bathroom.

It smelt of fresh fallen snow, a clean sharp scent that Ilia had noticed around Weiss. Grabbing one of the bottles from her vanity, Ilia tried to read the label, but it had a lot of extra letters and a few oddly placed apostrophe. The whole thing screamed expensive, and Ilia put it down.

Stripping out of her clothes, the struggle of putting on a dress began. Why would the zipper be in the back? Reaching around, she could manage to place a finger on it, but not move it up. With a sigh of defeat, she opened the door, and poked her head out.

Weiss had also changed: a short black skirt with a white double breasted vest over a black, long sleeve shirt, white thigh high socks and black boots. A black and white purse sat on the table next to a small green one that matched Ilia’s dress. The girl had ran off with a matching wardrobe. Ilia was never going to understand these humans.

“Weiss, could you give me a hand with this?” Ilia stepped out, holding the dress to her front as she turned around. “I’ve never understood why dresses are made this way. It’s so hard to put on yourself.”

A warm hand pressed against Ilia’s back. Weiss stilled, and Ilia turned her head to catch Weiss mouthing a “Wow” before the zipper moved up her back.

“It’s so that the zippers and buttons do not interfere with the lines of the dress, and they can be covered with-” Weiss offered a cropped white cardigan,”-with accessories. Here, let me take in the bust a bit.” Grabbing something on Ilia’s back, the high waist of the dress fit snuggly against her breasts, granting them a bit of a lift.

“There, now aren’t you pretty.” The smile Weiss flashed at Ilia washed away all the anxiety of wearing a dress. Even if the stupid thing did not have any pockets.

She put on her old boots without a word from Weiss.

“What are you doing?” Weiss asked as Ilia grabbed her sword and pushed it into her new purse.

“Taking my weapon with me?” Ilia said, feeling ashamed. “I mean, there's no belt on this dress, and walking around with a weapon in my hands just feels like I’m going to cause problems.”

“We’re just doing a little spying in a tea cafe,” Weiss said. “How much trouble can we actually get in?”

Ilia shrugged. “It is Haven?”

“...You’re right, let me grab some dust.”

After stuffing her own purse, Weiss and Ilia stepped out of Weiss’ room.  Yang poked her head out of her room, right next to Weiss’.

“Hey, what are you guys up to?”  She eyed both of them, and her smile became a grin.  “Going on a date?”

Weiss sputtered.  “What, no. No, we’re just out for a walk, and I want to show Ilia Haven.  What makes you think it’s a date?”

“Yeah, it’s totally not a date,” Ilia said, talking over Weiss.  “Just going to check out some sights with Weiss in this dress she loaned me.”

Yang opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again. “Well, okay, you two have fun on your not date.”

“We shall,” Weiss said.  Twirling around, she looped her arm in Ilia’s and dragged her out of the house.

Ruby pushed open her door, a matching grin on her face.  “Are we going to follow them?”

“Ruby! That would be horrible,” Yang said.  Pulling out her sunglasses, she slid them on.  “Let’s do it.”

Weiss lead Ilia to a little cafe not too far from the port of Haven. Wide ocean filled their view, and the salt air added a bite that made Ilia glad she had a coat. Weiss flicked her white hair over her shoulder, the breeze catching it as it floated back down

“See them?” Weiss whispered, looking around.

Ilia scanned the room, before spotting Sun facing them, a familiar black haired girl facing away from them.

“There,” Ilia said, tilting her head at the pair. Sun frowned at something Blake said, pulling his white shirt closed against the cold. Man liked to show off his abs, but he paid for it as well.

“Find us a seat, I’ll get drinks,” Ilia said, moving towards the cafe bar.

“Espresso, two shots,” Weiss said. “There is money in the purse. Get whatever you want.”

Ilia walked up to the cafe bar, ordering Weiss’ coffee and debating on what she wanted. Seeing that they serve flat whites, Ilia ordered one for herself. The barista, a bearded man who looked like he needed a good night’s sleep and not more coffee, told her he would bring the cups out to her. Using Weiss’ money, she left a generous tip, which received a grunt of appreciation from the barista.

The booth Weiss picked had them sitting right next to Sun and Blake. Weiss lay huddled in the corner, looking to everyone who could see her that she was trying to listen to the people next to her.

“That isn’t how you do that,” Ilia said, sliding into the booth across from her. “You need to look like you belong here, not like your a teenager trying to peek into the girl’s shower.”

Weiss sat up. “How would you know what that looks like?” She leaned hard against the wall separating them from Blake and Sun.

“It’s just an expression, from school and stuff,” Ilia blushed, slouching in her seat.

“Hmm.” Weiss smirked but then Blake spoke and her face became serious.

“They’re all on their way up here,” Sun said. “I’m not sure what to do.”

“You’re their teammate, I’m sure they won’t be too harsh on you,” Blake said, voice full of compassion.

“But, what if Neptune is mad? I haven’t spoken to him since the Fall of Beacon.” In the short time Ilia known him, she had never heard Sun sound this sad.

“Why not?” Blake asked.

“Cause I knew he could be upset I ran off without him,” Sun let out a loud sigh. “I’d love to have taken him with me, but you know how he is with water. And you decided to take a boat.”

“I never made you come after me, Sun.” Heat entered Blake’s voice. “You need to own up to this.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Sun said, sounding dejected.

“Damn,” Weiss said, leaning back into her seat when their coffee arrived. “I was really hoping for something else.” She sipped her cup.

Ilia sipped her own, hiding a smile. She wondered what Weiss wanted to know.

“-Yang is important to me,” Blake said, and both of them glued themselves to the wall to listen.

This knocked Iia’s cup over, spilling the drink over her hand.

“Ahh,” Ilia screamed before covering her mouth. She hissed in pain, the hot milk burning.

“Wait, that sounded familiar,” Sun said.

Over the top of the partition, the wild blonde hair of a goofy idiot appeared. “Ilia! Weiss! What are you two doing here?”

“Sun, don’t stand on the...” Blake cut herself off. “Weiss and Ilia are on the other side?”

Sun nodded. “What are you two doing here?”

Weiss looked up with panic in her eyes, caught and now scared.

“We’re having a date!” Ilia said, much too loudly. “See, I’m wearing a fancy dress!”

Boots hitting a table alerted them before Blake appeared next to Sun. “Arryn’s Grace, she is. I can’t believe it.”

Sun narrowed his eyes. “Neither can I… I think they were spying on us.”

“Are you calling my date a liar, monkey boy?” Weiss said, anger driving out the panic.

“I’m just saying, if it is a date… how about a kiss?” Sun teased.

“Sun…” Blake and Ilia both said.

“This is totally a date, right Ilia?” Weiss said. “We’d love to kiss each other, right Ilia?”

Ilia turned a bright red, her whole body. “...yes?” She said.

Leaning over the table, Weiss grabbed Ilia’s face and kissed her on the lips.

Her lips were warmer than Ilia thought they should be. Soft, and lovely. Tasting of the espresso she had, but also a bit minty. Ilia unfroze, leaning into the kiss, moving her own lips against Weiss as she closed her eyes...

Which she promptly opened when Weiss slipped her tongue into Ilia’s mouth, opening her mouth and kissing Ilia more. Weiss’ own eyes were closed, although one opened and looked up at a flabbergasted Sun and a blushing Blake. The kiss went on for a few more moments before Weiss broke it off.

Ilia sat back in her seat, breathless and giddy. Warmth spread from her mouth to the rest of her body and Ilia wanted to float away.

Catching her own breath, Weiss watched Ilia through half lidded eyes. Those soft lips curled up into a smirk.

“Well, damn,” Sun said. “Do I leave a tip?”

Blake elbowed Sun hard in the side, and he fell back. “Sorry about him, we’ll let you two get back to your date.”

Ilia and Weiss nodded, smiling at each other. Blake stepped down from the table and dragged Sun away, who protested half heartedly.

Weiss moved from her side of the booth and sat next to Ilia, who turned to smile shyly at Weiss. “Shouldn’t we follow them?”

“I have a better idea,” Weiss said as she leaned over to kiss Ilia again.

“This is a much better idea,” Ilia said, leaning into the kiss.

Across the cafe at another table, Yang turned to Ruby. “I share a wall with Weiss, can I sleep in your room tonight?”

Blake slid an arm around Yang’s neck.  “I have some space in my bed, if you’re looking for someplace to sleep tonight.”

If you enjoyed this story, a cup of Ko-Fi is a great way to say thanks!

And thank you for reading and have a nice day!

[maevefiction]

Your Light in the Mist - Chapter 40

We wound up staying at Diana’s until Sunday, then headed home to the chaos that awaited us. My gift for Tom had been well received, the shades of red he’d turned much like watching a tomato ripening in a time lapse video. We decide to wait until he was done filming to have our playtime, hoping things would be a smidge less stressful and that we’d actually have plenty of time to just fuck around. Literally, as the case happened to be. He’d given me a leather lingerie set, complete with crotch-less panties and a corset that I knew would turn my boobs into a squishy shelf…but the best part was the policeman-style cap, which I’d been wearing around the house to torment him.

Monday was spent in the office with Trudy, testing and testing and testing again, over and over, until any bugs we’d found were worked out. As far as we could discern, we were ready to roll. After the security company was done installing everything on Tuesday, it was time to go live with the group of 50 we’d chosen as beta testers. Luke, who’d left at noon with Simon to take care of the final wedding prep tasks, texted me more than two dozen times to express his amazement as he delved into Manageall’s features before, I assumed, Simon took his phone away from him. Radio silence ensued until midnight, when Simon came knocking at the door in a full blown panic because he wasn’t certain his shoes were the same shade of white as his suit. It took me more than an hour to convince him that they were, in fact, the same, and he wrapped me in a grateful embrace and finally left me to get some rest, Tom already in bed and snoring.

The office was officially closed for the next five days, so on Wednesday, when I wasn’t practicing singing, I pretended to not be working while I was actually working until it was time for the quiet dinner we’d planned at Luke and Simon’s. It was just the four of us, plus Roland, who was an absolute delight. We bonded over movies, music and tech and as we were leaving he gave me a tentative hug, blushing furiously afterward, Simon whispering in my ear shortly thereafter that it looked like SOMEONE had a quickly developed a wicked crush on me.  

New Year’s Eve dawned crisp and clear, and Simon and I took a late-afternoon cab ride to Searcys so we could check in and make sure everything was exactly as it should be. We entered the Gherkin, and he grabbed my hand as we got into the elevator, his skin clammy.

“This is happening. It’s happening. I can’t believe it. It’s incredible. I’m so…happy. Also, I’m pretty sure I’m dying.”

I laughed. “You’ll be fine. Everything’s going to be fine. Fine.”

His eyes narrowed. “If that was your attempt at assuaging my nerves…LAME. SO LAME.”

“You think you’re the only one with nerves? I cannot, for the life of me, get the last part of the song right. Because I am not Nina Simone. My scatting SUCKS. SO HARD.”

He released my hand in order to poke me in the shoulder. “I AM GETTING MARRIED AND YOU ARE COMPARING YOUR NERVES WITH MINE?”

“Actually I’m trying to distract you, asshat. Not working, is it?”

“No. Do you have any booze?”

The elevator doors opened, and as we stepped into the room he burst into tears. The round tables were all in place, forming a ring around the room with the center reserved for dancing, with an open spot on the far side of the room where the DJ had begun setting up. They were covered in charcoal grey cloths that matched the gentlemen of the wedding party’s suits, peppered with silver stars, glossy black circular Lucite slabs resting atop them. The centerpieces were twelve silver cylinders arranged in a ring, each with two white roses wound together in them, symbolizing midnight and two becoming one. Which was, you know, a totally minor detail that everyone would be too drunk to care about, but Simon had been so pleased with himself at coming up with the idea I knew he’d be pointing it out all evening and it was my duty as his maid of honor to fill in when he was too sloshed to speak any longer. The chairs, eight per table, were glossy black as well, the napkins gleaming white, the clear glassware and silver flatware smooth and unmarked. Above us was a net of white fairy lights that formed an artificial ceiling several feet below the pointed top of the room, and the floor was black stone, rectangular tiles shined to perfection, my reflection staring back at me when I glanced downward.

“Maude, Maude, it’s…it’s…I just…” He fanned his face with both hands. “Crying is bad. So bad. I can’t start off the evening looking like a puffy, splotchy nightmare.” Several deep, cleansing breaths later he was back in control, walking the room in search of imperfections. The sun had nearly set, and as we looked out the windows the city lights began to come on in quick succession, and the skyline was even more beautiful that it was during the daylight hours. As we drew closer to the DJ, the staff erected a rectangular table that would hold the cake and champagne fountain, the spot directly in front of it marked with an 18” silver star, indicating where the vow exchange was to take place. A voice sounded from behind us.

“A bit early, aren’t you, Simon?”

Turning around, I was stunned by the familiarity of the face in front of me. Her hair was dirty blonde, down past her shoulders, eyes a warm brown, smile welcoming and friendly. Dressed in loose black slacks and a black turtleneck paired with sensible black flats, I was tickled by the silver star-shaped earrings and chain belt she’s chosen to match the theme of the event. Around her neck was a black leather camera strap, the Nikon D5 it connected to in her right hand. Simon squeaked, then gave her a gentle hug, introducing us after pulling away.

“Maude Gallagher, meet Willa Morgan, high-end fashion photographer whom I suckered into shooting a wedding and now owe a huge favor that I will likely never be able to repay. Willa, meet Maude, Social Media Director for Prosper PR and my bestest friend whom I suckered into being my maid of honor which I’m sure she regrets and will hold against me for-ev-er.”

We both laughed, and I extended my left hand, which she shook firmly.

“Lovely to meet you, Maude.”

“Lovely to meet you as well, Willa.”

Her smile faded as she released me, replaced with a look of intense concentration. “Would you two mind standing on the star there so I can gauge some angles?”

We obliged, goofing around and pretending to make out while the poor woman attempted to do her job, eventually giving up on us, shaking her head as she laughed and set about acquiring shots of the rest of the set-up. I whispered in Simon’s ear as we moved to make room for the fountain assembly dolly.

“Um, is it just me or does Willa look EXACTLY like Brie Larson?”

He stared at her in the distance, then turned to me, eyes wide. “You know, I never thought about it before, but she really DOES. I wonder if I have a Doppelganger.” His nose crinkled as if he’d caught whiff of something vile. “Nah, there can’t be anyone out there as pretty as I am.”

It was going on six when we departed, waiting until every little thing was in place, right down to the wedding favors, which were silver mesh bags containing black and white M&Ms with Luke and Simon’s faces on them. I would never forget the day we texted about it, both of us rendered unable to correspond for at least ten minutes after Simon suggested having a special batch made up with dick pics on them for any guests who annoyed him.

Upon my return to our building I was thrown without pause into the chaos that surrounds any wedding party preparing for the celebration. I would be joined at Simon’s side by Roland and Phaedra, who was thrilled that she was so loved that she’d been included as a friend and wasn’t stuck sitting out as the mother of the groom. Luke had Tom, as well as Emma and Darren, his best mate from university. I hadn’t realized how close he and Emma were, but she and Tom had both followed him over to his own firm for personal reasons as well as professional ones. Emma and Phaedra’s dresses, both still hanging on the rack in the hall, were dove grey, with a halter-like top, almost a V-neck with the sleeves removed, leaving only a ribbon of fabric over each clavicle and connecting with the bodice, shoulders fully exposed. They were, in a way, the reverse of my dress. The waist was high, an under-slip of satin topped with translucent silky fabric flowing to ankle length. When I entered our flat my female cohorts were standing in the middle of the living room, clad in white terry-cloth robes, waiting for the make-up and hair team to ready their materials. Emma ran to embrace me.

“Maude! Hi hi hi! It’s been a bit, how are you? So great to see you!”

I squeezed her back, letting go and pulling away when one of the make-us-beautiful people thrust another white robe in my direction. “I’m good, how’s everything with you?”

Her nose scrunched, and she bit her bottom lip briefly. “Well, I’m starting to stress, if I’m honest. The benefit is seventeen days out and I’m still waiting on confirmation from people as to what songs…”

I interrupted her. “Aaaannndd I’m one of those people. Shit. Sorry. Gonna speak for Simon too, because he’ll never remember to tell you. I’m doing ‘Before I’m Dead’ by the Kidney Thieves, Simon’s doing Nirvana’s ‘Heart Shaped Box’ and together we’re attempting ‘Crystalized’ by the xx. Here, I’ll text you that right now. Do you need the durations? I can send you the files too if you want.”

She brushed the side of her hand across her forehead. “Phew. Thanks, that’s one down. Please, do send the files if you have them. I’ll check the length myself. And thank you for being willing to do it…I feel so blessed to be surrounded by such generous people. Ohhh…by the way, I’ve seen the app and it is INCREDIBLE. Can’t wait to use it...” She sighed as one of the hairdressers called her name, then smiled. “Oh well. We’ll get to chat in the car on the way, I’m sure.”

A snort escaped me as I typed out a message for her. “Like Simon’s going to let any of us get a word in edgewise.”

We both laughed, and Phaedra looked up from her own phone, waving as I headed to the bathroom to undress. Once my robe was safely secured over my nakedness, I opened the door to find one Thomas William Hiddleston standing five feet away, already dressed for the evening in his charcoal grey suit, white shirt, silver tie, cummerbund and pocket square. He smiled, and I first melted at the sheer beauty of him, then had a mild panic attack when I realized that the six months until I’d see him dressed for our wedding seemed both like a second and an eternity all at once.

He waved. “Hi.”

I waved back. “Hi. You look like…like…like you should come on over here and kiss me.”

His head shook from side to side, slowly. “That’s a terrible idea.”

“Is it?”

He nodded. “Yes. Because I know what’s under that robe. And if I get any closer…”

Raising my hands up near my ears carefully, I began to move backwards into the bathroom. “Right. Okay. Yep. But you know the dress is kinda…worse…”

He saluted, body tensing visibly. “Well I’m off then. Love you.”

“Love you too. One word. Pasties.”

His response was but a muffled groan as he strode quickly into the hall. I was whisked away to a director’s chair, where Marcus sung the praises of my hair and tamed it enough so it could be left down and loose. Emma’s had been pinned into a bun at the nape of her neck, Phaedra’s braided and wound around her head, creating a band of sorts. They were both in the middle of a pre-makeup facial, which I had no interest in receiving but quickly discovered wasn’t optional. After I was deemed clean, fresh and acceptable, foundation was applied, then silver crème and smoky grey shadow, black winged liner, and black mascara. My lips took the longest, first lined with a deep, dark red, then carefully painted blood red, and finally coated with a several layers of silver glitter gloss.  I stood and stretched, arms straight up over my head, sighing softly as I lowered them back to my sides. An older woman approached me, black hair, rail thin, dressed in pink yoga pants and a black and white fitted T-shirt with a giant Hello Kitty on the front. There was a large brown satchel over her shoulder, and a garment bag slung over her outstretched arm. She smiled beatifically.

“Hello, Maude. I’m Gillian. Ready for your dress?”

“Yes. Yes I am. Thank you. Where would you like me?”

Her steel-blue eyes narrowed for a moment. “Well, we’ll need a private space, unless you don’t mind…”

My left hand shot up to shoulder height, palm toward her. “I’ve managed to make it this far without anyone in the room seeing my boobs…let’s keep the streak alive and head up to the master bedroom, if that works for you.”

She nodded, and I led the way, allowing her to enter the space first, then followed, closing the door behind us.

“Lovely flat you have here, Maude.” She placed the garment bag on the bed, ever so gently, and the utter weirdness of having a stranger in a place where so much intimacy happened made me cringe. Just a little, but still…a cringe. Gillian set her satchel on the chair and began rummaging through it, pulling out a small package and a bottle of what I knew had to be body glue. She looked around, pointing toward the bathroom.

“Probably best if we apply the pasties in there…oh, I almost forgot…” Her hand delved back into her bag, neon pink nails seeming to flash as she moved. “Ah, here they are. I have panty options for you as well, in case you need them.”

“Thank you, Gillian. I think I do need them…all my stuff is either dark or patterned.”

She walked into the bathroom, hot-pink Mary Janes clicking on the floor, and I followed. She spread everything out on the countertop…first came the half dozen pasties, all different shades, but all circular with a silver star that matched the dress perfectly in the center. Next to them she plopped a pile of fabric, the details as yet indiscernible, but there was a variation of tone there as well.

Her hands clapped together. “All right then…set your robe aside and we’ll get to work, if you please.”

I undid the tie, let the front hang open, then pulled my arms back through the sleeves and let it fall to the floor. She looked me up and down.

“Oh good, I believe I’ve gotten your sizing just right. And, you wax. Thank the lord for small favors.” I could feel my right brow rise against my will. She laughed. “No shade intended, but gals who prefer the au naturel look make it a bit harder for me to conceal the works without them wearing boxer briefs. With the style dress you have, it has a tendency to ruin the illusion, if you know what I mean.”

“I understand completely.”

She sifted through the pile and held up something that could only be described as a high-waisted thong. I took a moment to consider whether or not I was okay with my ass cheeks hanging out, then quickly shook my head. Next was a simple brief, and I nodded.

“Excellent choice. They’re form fitting and will be rather snug, which should be just fine with your shape. I don’t see much chance of spill-over happening. Now, let’s see which tone matches your skin best.”

Once that decision was made, I put them on…and she wasn’t kidding about the snugness. They were, like, snug to the tenth power snug. But, just as she thought, the band sat right at my waist and thus, there was no muffin-top to be found. She walked around me, checking out the rear view, nodding as she circled back to my front.

“Perfect. They match so well it looks like you aren’t wearing a blessed thing.”

The pasties came next, in the same shade. I stayed behind when she left the room, figuring peeing before putting on the dress was better than going afterward, because with my luck I’d dip it in the bowl and this way I’d at least make it to Searcys in decent shape. Probably. Catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror on the way back to the bedroom, I decided I most closely resembled an extra from the Rocky Horror Picture Show, which started me singing the Time Warp under my breath. Gillian was cautiously removing my dress from its bag, and when she lifted her head to smirk at me I knew she’d heard me.

“Oh, that’s a classic, Maude. Well done. You should request it tonight.”

I chuckled. “That is an excellent idea. What’s a wedding without a good pelvic thrust session?”

We both laughed as I stepped into the dress, then slowly worked my arms into the sleeves. Gillian zipped me up, inhaling sharply as she walked round to my front.

“Gorgeous. My word. Futuristic, yet ethereal. Stunning.”

I walked over to the bedroom mirror to take a look, my reflection’s jaw dropping open. The transformative power of a bit of makeup and some fabric never ceased to amaze me.

“Wow, it really DOES look like I’m totally naked. Great job matching the tones, Gillian. Perfection.”

She’d begun gathering her things, stuffing them all unceremoniously back into the satchel. “Thank you kindly. Do you need help with your shoes?”

“Well…probably not…but if you have time…”

She nodded and retrieved them from their box on the dresser. They bore some resemblance to dance shoes, with a two and a half inch spike heel and thick sole in the rounded toe area, two half-inch straps across the top, thoroughly coated in large pieces of silver glitter that matched the stars on my dress perfectly. I remained standing with one hand on the bedpost to maintain my balance as she slipped them on and secured the straps.

“There you are, then. Take a few steps and make sure the straps aren’t too tight.”

I did, heels clicking on the floor, then turned back to her. “Just right. Danceable, even. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Let’s get you downstairs….it’s just about nine and the car needs to be en route by ten after at the latest. New Year’s Eve traffic is hellish, I assure you.”

Phaedra and Emma were waiting in the living room, and they applauded as I descended, both unable to resist the urge to fondle the fabric when I reached them. Emma’s eyes widened when she realized that I didn’t have a full netting underneath, as most sane people would.

“Maude, my lord, those…are those…the stars on your…”

Nodding, I reached out and patted her on the shoulder. “My boobs. Yes. Pasties.” She blushed, and Phaedra sighed.

“Oh, how I miss having breasts that don’t point directly at the floor. Enjoy them, girls, while you still can. The day will come when you have to be cautious lest you light them on fire whilst preparing a meal.”

Emma’s blush deepened. “Phaedrea, oh my god. You’re horrid.”

I did my best to suppress my laughter, but to no avail, and Phaedra joined in. “I speak the truth, Emma. It’s your future. Best embrace it.”

We were interrupted by Simon shouting as he traipsed through the open door.

“LADIES. OUR CARRIAGE HAS ARRIVED. WE MUST LEAVE AT ONCE FOR THE BALL.”

He stood by the kitchen counter, waiting, and I shook my head, incredulous at how absolutely perfect he appeared. Like he’d sprung up from the pages of an elite fashion magazine, his blonde hair slicked back, white suit practically glowing, and when he smiled, I damn near lost my shit.

“Dude. Simon. Dude. Seriously. My god. You’re like an…you look like…like…like an ANGEL. I mean, I know you’re NOT because, reasons, but WOW.”

Four steps forward brought him to me, and he kissed both my cheeks, then took my hands as he leaned back to inspect my attire. “You’re looking rather heaven-sent yourself, Maudie. And thank you. I do look damn fine, don’t I?” He kissed Emma and Phaedra next, expressing his appreciation for their beauty as well, and then we were out the door and down the stairs. Since the ceremony wasn’t until midnight there was no way to hide Luke and Simon from each other, so we’d decided to all share a single stretch limousine. Tom’s expression as he watched me approach him stirred up a slew of emotions in me, running the gamut from mild embarrassment to blatant desire, his unwavering stare seeming to bore right through the little I was wearing. As I drew closer his eyes filled with tears, his jaw unclenching as he smiled and reached for my hand.

“You. Are. So. Beautiful.”

I took hold of him, leaning in to catch his scent as we neared the limo.

“Oh good god, you’re wearing that new cologne again. That little hint of sandalwood mixed with orange…how am I supposed to LIVE?” He chuckled. “And thank you. You’re beautiful too, babe.”

He kissed my cheek as he helped me climb inside. “It’s going to be a long, long night, isn’t it?”

I nodded as I slid over next to Phaedra to make room for him just as Simon cracked open the first bottle of champagne.

“Oh yeah. I hope you have your phone, because I need to capture all this insanity so I can show it to their kids twenty years from now. Preferably right after they give them a lecture about how partying is so very, very inappropriate and bad for them.”

***************************************

It was five after ten when we arrived at Searcys, and the elevator ride up was unusually quiet, Simon and Luke clinging to each other and nervously adjusting each other’s lapels and white rose boutonnieres. Phaedra, Emma and I wore wrist corsages comprised of black netting and two intertwined white roses secured with silver ribbon, for which I was grateful. Schlepping around flowers and trying to have a good time while keeping them looking decent sounded like a total drag. Tom and I held hands, loosely, purely for the purpose of maintaining a physical connection. My nerves were still ever present, despite the fact that I’d sung in front of groups larger than this in the past. To be fair, I’d been intoxicated for most of those shows, though. Tonight, I’d try to lose myself in tasty tidbits and pretend that it was just a friendly karaoke bar, not someone’s once-in-a-lifetime moment. The doors slid open, and there we were, walking into a space that was positively overflowing with love for two people who deserved every single drop of it.

We were whisked away for photos, Willa directing us around the room, deciding who would be in which shots, carefully selecting the perfect backdrops. Once she was through with us, the hors d'oeuvres

stopped circulating and it was time for the seven course sit-down meal to begin. The wedding party was seated closest to the windows on the left side of the room, set back a few feet from the others. It was odd, eating prior to a ceremony, a backwards wedding of sorts, but the food was ridiculously delicious and the company unparalled so time seemed to speed on by. A sorbet was served as a palate cleanser after the main course, and at quarter to midnight we rose from our spots and retreated back toward the entrance where the hair and makeup folks were waiting behind oriental-style screens. Luke and Simon had timed their vows to last for five minutes, so the refresh was brief, followed by us all taking our places for the walk across the dance floor to the silver star marker. Phaedra and Darren walked first, followed by Roland and Emma, then Tom and me. Once we were on the proper sides, the wedding march began, and I had to bite my lip really, really hard so I wouldn’t weep at the sight of Luke and Simon walking towards us, hand in hand, their love for each other so clearly visible in their eyes, their expressions so joyful it was almost painful. They took their places on the star, Willa shooting discreetly yet furiously the entire time, and the officiant began. I missed most of that, only tuning in fully when the vow exchange began. Luke went first, his hand shaking as his right reached out for Simon’s left. His voice was clear, deep, and strong.

“Simon, that day you turned up for an interview…I thought that was the best day of my life. But it wasn’t, actually, because every day since that day has been the best day of my life. You’ve reminded me that there’s so much more to life than striving toward the next slot in the chain of financial success, shown me that joy can be found in even the smallest and bleakest moments. And, you’ve improved my wardrobe in ways I never could have imagined.”

Everyone laughed, and Simon reached up to pat Luke’s cheek.

“Over and above all that, you’ve taught me how to love, and how to love unconditionally. You are the man I dreamt of but never thought I’d ever find. My lover, my friend. It’s my honor to have you as my husband, and to be yours. From this day forward, it’s us, together, always. I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, Luke Windsor, do take thee, Simon Ahlberg, to be my lawful wedded husband. Will you accept this ring as a symbol of my commitment to you, to us?”

Simon’s voice broke as he answered. “Yes. I, Simon Ahlberg, take thee, Luke Windsor to be my wedded husband.” Luke slipped the platinum band onto his ring finger, then released him. Simon’s right hand reached out to take Luke’s left, and one incredibly deep breath later he began to speak.

“Luke. That day, when I walked into your office, I was on a mission. A mission to fundamentally change the way I was living. I was burnt out, used up, and in search of something new, something different, something that would inspire me, something that would make me wake up every morning excited and full of wonder. I thought that something would be an occupation, because that’s what filled my life before, but it turned out to be…you. Especially the waking up excited part.” Snickers and guffaws rose up around the room. “It was YOU. And I am the luckiest man, not only on Earth, but in the vastness of the universe, because I have you. Because you love me. ME! It’s ridiculously cliché, but Luke, you make me want to be a better man…and it’s my honor and privilege to share your life from this day forward as your husband. I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, Simon Ahlberg, do take thee, Luke Windsor, to be my lawful wedded husband. Will you accept this ring as a symbol of my commitment to you, to us?”

Both of their faces were damp with tears, and Luke swallowed hard twice before he responded. “Yes. Yes, yes, YES. I, Luke Windsor, take thee, Simon Ahlberg to be my wedded husband.”

Simon gently slid the platinum band, a twin of the one he now wore, onto Luke’s ring finger, then reached out to grasp Luke’s right hand with his left. The DJ began the ten second countdown to midnight, and the officiant spoke.

“Let it be known that these two men before me, and before all persons present, have, through their vows, declared themselves bound in matrimony. Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you…the Windsor-Ahlbergs!”

With that the clock struck midnight, Simon and Luke kissed, and congratulatory cheers mixed with shouts of ‘Happy New Year’ rang out. Tom was in front of me before the DJ could even begin to play Auld Lang Syne, his hands on the sides of my face as he bent so we were eye to eye.

“This is it. 2016. Soon enough, we’ll be saying our own vows, exchanging rings and I…I…I’m so in love with you, Maude. Happy New Year.”

His lips met mine, his hands wound around my waist, and mine around his, as we swayed to the music and I realized that I’d honestly never fully comprehended what it was supposed to mean, that New Year’s midnight kiss. Because any I’d ever received before hadn’t meant anything to me when compared to the way I felt right then, in that moment. We broke the kiss as the song ended, and the DJ’s voice boomed loudly through the sound system’s speakers.

“HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE!” A round of cheering broke out again, and the DJ laughed. “All right, all right, you’re excited. Before we party, two things to take care of…the cutting of the cake by our happy couple, and…their first dance. We’re going to do the dance first, because you know someone’s going to get cake smeared all over them and that’s not a good look for the photo album, now is it? Luke and Simon have chosen ‘Feeling Good’ as their wedding song, and it will be performed by none other than maid-of-honor MAUDE GALLAGHER. Give the lady a hand!”

The applause was ridiculously loud, and I looked up at Tom, shouting over the din. “Happy New Year, you beautiful man. I love you. I’m probably going to die of embarrassment when I get to the scatting part, but…I love you.”

He kissed my forehead as he released me. “You’ll be amazing. Go. Do it. I’ll be right here, falling for you all over again.”

My head tilted to the left, mouth open, eyes narrowed. “Dude. I can’t even with you.” I planted a quick kiss on his cheek. “Thank you.” And then, a microphone magically appeared in my hand, and there I was, standing on that silver star, with Luke and Simon staring at me from the center of the dance floor. And so I dove into the first verse acapella, the way Nina Simone had done it all those years ago.

Birds flyin' high, you know how I feel Sun in the sky, you know how I feel Breeze driftin' on by, you know how I feel It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me. Yeah, it's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me, ooooooooh... And I'm feelin' good. Fish in the sea, you know how I feel River runnin' free, you know how I feel Blossom on the tree, you know how I feel It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me, And I'm feelin' good Dragonfly out in the sun, you know what I mean, don't you know, Butterflies all havin' fun, you know what I mean. Sleep in peace when day is done: that's what I mean, And this old world is a new world and a bold world for me... Stars when you shine, you know how I feel Scent of the pine, you know how I feel Yeah, freedom is mine, and I know how I feel.. It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me And I'm feelin'... good.

The scatting was actually decent, and I knew that what I’d just completed was a personal best for me as far as performances went, and would probably turn out to be the best performance of my life. And it had little to do with me, at all. It was because of the two people running toward me, embracing me, and the love they had for each other that had set them free. And I knew how that felt, and that’s what poured up out of my soul, what powered my voice as I sang those words. Tom joined the group hug, then pulled me away from Simon and Luke.

“My god, that was incredible. You…I just…wow. Wow. Speechless.”

I grinned and pinched his cheek. “Oh, speechless. The best compliment Tom Hiddleston can possibly pay.”

He laughed, and the DJ announced that the time had come for cake chaos. Simon went first, and I was stunned when he held the piece steady and allowed Luke to take a dainty, mess-free bite. Luke’s full on face-smooshing smear fest when it was his turn was equally surprising…and insanely adorable, especially when he tried to help wipe it off and Simon kissed him instead. I turned to Tom.

“Two things. One, if you try to do that to me I’m going to bite your hand off and two, this is all so precious and perfect that I may soon vomit. Will cake help, do you think?”

He nodded. “Cake always helps. And then, dancing?”

“Yes. Cake. Dancing. More cake. More dancing. Repeat as necessary until the paramedics show up to treat either my sugar overdose or painful bodily injury.”

And that’s exactly what we did, until 4 AM rolled around and we staggered to the elevator, then out to the waiting car. Simon and Luke had taken their own to a nearby hotel, where they’d stay until late afternoon tomorrow, when they’d be boarding a plane to enjoy their five day honeymoon in Greece. Phaedra had agreed to see Roland home, and shared a car with Emma and Darren as they were all headed in the same direction, which left Tom and I to our own devices. He wasn’t blotto drunk, but drunk enough to be a terror as far as propriety was concerned, fingers running up and down the V front of my dress, caressing my exposed skin, hand slipping under the fabric to cup my right breast, letting out a frustrated groan because my nipple was hidden beneath the pastie. There was no privacy screen, and I gave up caring that the driver might see, or that he might crash while staring at our antics, instead pulling Tom into a kiss, his mouth tasting of whiskey and ale. Making out was enough of a distraction to get us home without actually exposing ourselves, and when we arrived he ran up the stairs to our flat, taking them two at a time, waited for me for ten seconds, then ran back down, then back up, over and over until I managed to successfully navigate my way to the landing in my stupid heels. His hands were shaking so badly he couldn’t get the key in the door, so I took over, and he pushed me inside as it opened, turned me left into the kitchen, then pressed me up against the counter overlooking the living room. I felt his hands lifting my dress, then on my lower back as he guided me to lean forward. Next were his thumbs inside the waistband of my underwear, rolling them down to my ankles. I heard him unzip, and I moved my legs as far apart as they could go, groaning as the head of him brushed against me before he thrust himself forward and home. It was quick and dirty, his hips rolling as his cock worked its way in and out, faster and faster until I came with a gasp and he followed, whimpering softly, then collapsing on top of me. Several minutes passed and just as I began to entertain the thought that he was out cold he whispered in my ear, voice lacking its usual resonance.

“I’m so sleepy. Will you tuck me in?”

“Yep. You’ve gotta get off me first, though.”

“Ohhhh. That’s right. I’m sorry.” I felt his weight lifting, then disappearing completely. I turned around to find him staring at me, eyes moist. “You’re beautiful.”

I snorted, then bent to remove my shoes so I could slip out of my underwear. “Thank you. You’re not so bad yourself.”

He turned me around slowly, unzipped my dress, then slid it off my shoulders and allowed it to fall to the floor. I rotated to face him, and he pulled me into an embrace and nuzzled my neck.

“Wife.”

“Soon.”

“Since I saw you.”

I inhaled sharply. “Thomas.”

“Love you.”

“I love you too, baby. Let’s go upstairs, okay?”

“M’kay.”

I made him go first, just in case. Not that I’d have been able to catch him if anything happened, but it made me feel better. I helped him undress, then tucked him in, as requested, kissing him goodnight before I headed off to shower. The pasties came off rather quickly, the makeup, not so much. Especially the glitter gloss, which made me grateful I didn’t have to deal with such shit on a daily basis. I toweled off, used the toilet one last time, then crawled in next to Tom. He rolled over, muttering something I couldn’t quite decipher as he wrapped his arm around me, hand cupping my breast. My eyes closed as his warmth enveloped me, and I dozed off trying to count how many days remained until June 29th.

****************************************

We spent the weekend recovering, just the two of us, heading out for food periodically but otherwise just enjoying…being. Time felt like the enemy, and even though I tried to ignore it, my brain kept counting of the days we had left before his flight to Australia. Monday I was back in the office, working on marketing materials for the app and testing the customer management systems with Trudy. The rest of the staff picked up any slack left by Luke and Simon’s absence, their duties relatively minimal as our client base had been made aware of the wedding and honeymoon schedule well in advance. Tuesday and Wednesday were more of the same, with the additional tasks of contacting all the beta testers to request their reviews and creating an instructional video to post on the main website. Thursday was freak-out day, as it was my last official day of work prior to launch, and the last night I’d be sharing a bed with Tom for more than two weeks. Seventeen days, to be precise.

Dinner was delivery pizza, followed by ice cream sundaes for dessert. Afterward, I helped him pack, and the strangeness of assisting the person I had grown so used to and loved having so close to me prepare to be so far away melted my brain a little. We showered, then attempted to sleep, but spent most of the night making love or simply staring at each other, as if committing as much detail as we could to memory so we’d have it as a touchstone while we were apart.

Friday morning we were out the door and into a waiting cab by ten AM in order to arrive at Heathrow in plenty of time for his twelve forty-five PM flight. It would be a long one, twenty-five hours at minimum, during which I hoped he’d get some rest. Brisbane awaited, and there’d be staff housing as well as opportunities to visit the Hemsworths in Byron Bay. Jordan had chosen the Gold Coast to film, Queensland offering savannah-like settings as well as a tropical rainforest.

Both of us were silent on the ride, holding hands, his thumb rubbing my wrist. We’d agreed to say our goodbyes just inside the main entrance, with me then returning to the cab and heading home while he checked in and went through security. The cab driver helped unload his baggage, then drove off to circle around until our paths coincided again, at which point he’d pick me up.

I felt like I was going to puke at the sight of the gates, which made me wonder if this was going to become a ‘thing’…me stress-barfing at airports. Tom set the backpack he’d slung over his shoulder on the floor next to the rest of his luggage, then turned to me.

“Well. Guess this is it, then.” He ran one hand through is hair. “Not sure I can do this, Maude.”

I reached out to touch his arm, reveling in the feel of his long blue coat. “Yes you can. It’s okay. It’s going to be fine. Seventeen days and you’ll be picking my ass up in Brisbane. No big deal.” His hand caressed my cheek, and I burst into tears. “Shit. I told myself I wasn’t going to cry, and now I’m crying. Epic fail. I’m sorry.”

He pulled me into his arms, one hand on the back of my head pressing me to his chest. “Don’t you be sorry. I’m the one who should be sorry. I’m the one who has to leave.”

I leaned backwards so I could see his face, noticing that he was trying to hold back his own tears but was losing the battle, one already spilling over and running down his cheek. “No, I am. I’m the one who has to STAY.”

We clung to each other, weeping quietly, until we both breathed deeply, knowing it was time to let go, whether we liked it or not. I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand. “All right. I need to get the fuck out of here before I wind up throwing myself on the floor and wrapping my arms around your leg like a ball and chain.”

He laughed, then bent to kiss me…long, slow, deliberate and full of everything we couldn’t say. He broke away first, taking my hands in his.

“I am going to miss you like I’ve never missed anything ever before in my life. But we’ll text, we’ll call, we’ll Skype, and I’ll be busy and you’ll be busy and the days will pass and you’ll be back in my arms again in the blink of an eye.”

I nodded and let go of his hands. “It’ll all be okay. I know. You know. It doesn’t make it suck any less, but it’ll be okay. Stay safe, Hiddleston. I love you. Heart and soul.”

He smiled, red-rimmed eyes displaying a glimmer of hope, and joy. “I love you too, Maude. Heart and soul. I’ll see you soon. Good luck with the launch, and the show.”

“Tell Kong I said hello. And, you know, everyone else, too.”

“I shall.”

With that, he gathered up his luggage, returned the backpack to his shoulder, then turned away from me and began to walk down the hall. I waited for a moment, staring at him, and he spun around quickly, waved, then turned back around and kept going, and I turned myself and half-jogged out to the curb, choking back seemingly endless sobs as I waited for the cab that would bring me back to our flat. Our flat, with just me in it. Alone.

[banditchika]

i hear alisha diphda is ripped. that she has an eight-pack

For all of Rose’s strange lapses in judgement when it comes to clothing, there is no denying that she has an excellent eye for color and cut. Alisha lays out the outfit with an appraising eye. The ensemble is simple enough: a dark blue shirt, sturdy brown pants, and a jacket much like Rose’s, if longer. Certainly, it’s not as elaborate as what she’d worn the last time Rose had picked out clothing for her nor as utilitarian as her tabard, but there’s a charm to be found in the plainness of the ensemble.  What a difference a change of attire can make. Alisha must remember to thank Rose for picking this outfit for her — she can almost believe that she’d look like an entirely different person in it. Alisha pulls the shirt over her head with some difficulty. It stretches awkwardly over the breadth of her shoulders, and the fabric creaks ominously as she does up the buttons of the collar.

It is just a size too small. Alisha sighs. She shouldn’t complain; Rose had been kind enough to provide her with these clothes, free of charge and at such short notice — but she’d perfectly guessed Alisha’s size when they had dealt with the pro-war extremists. There shouldn’t be a reason why Rose would suddenly give her too-small clothing.

Thankfully, the pants fit perfectly. Alisha can handle a too-small shirt; even the tamest corsets she has worn at galas were monstrous, strangling things. Compared to that, the shirt is nothing — even if Alisha has to be careful to keep from tearing the back wide open.

But too-tight pants are another matter entirely. Alisha dreads to think of what Zaveid — or worse, Rose — would say if they saw her. For all the jokes and insults Rose makes at his expense, she’s just as bad as he is when it comes to women. Or at least, when it comes to Alisha.

She wriggles into the trousers and smooths out the creases, smiling at the deep pockets and the leather belt at the waists. Wearing pants after years of riding around Hyland in her tabard and the occasional dress is strange. The material is scratchier and rougher than what Alisha’s used to, and without the familiar weight of her greaves and bracers, the whole ensemble feels almost exposing.

A rather ridiculous notion — she’s still fully clothed, after all, and the outfit Rose picked out for her covers more skin than even her tabard. Alisha would wear her armor too, if it wouldn’t immediately give her identity away. She should count herself lucky that she has a belt to hang a dagger from. For all that she longs for peace and gentle, prosperous times, Alisha hasn’t left her home unarmed since the day she entered Lady Maltran’s tutelage. It’s an instinct that’s been drilled into her and reinforced for years — and as dedicated as she is to this mission, Alisha doesn’t think she could step out into the city without a weapon, no matter how hard she tries.

The last part of the ensemble, the jacket, lacks the bolero cut that Rose is so fond of. Alisha is glad. Rose might make hers look nice, but Alisha much prefers long, draping pieces of clothing. Still: Alisha admires the worn brass buttons along the length of the jacket as she smoothes it over her chest.

It’s a shame that it’d would be considered out of place among the company Alisha keeps. It truly is a lovely article of clothing. Perhaps if she ever decides to wander around Ladylake like this again, she’ll ask Rose to lend it to her.

That was the kind of thing girl friends did, right? Share clothing? Many of her knights are women, and certainly, they’re Alisha’s precious friends and comrades — but they’ve never had the luxury of doing something as mundane as dressing up and sneaking out to spend a day in the city. And they’ve definitely never shared clothing. Alisha tries to imagine trying on an endless array of Hyland’s soldiers’ uniforms and winces. Perhaps it is for the better.

And although it might be too optimistic of her, Alisha hopes that it can be different with Rose. It feels faintly ridiculous, wishing to deepen her friendship with an assassin that once tried to kill her — and her own Shepherd to boot!

But Alisha can’t help the warmth that blooms in her chest when she thinks of Rose, unfurling like a flower in the spring. Perhaps it’s another flaw of hers, to think so highly of those she’s attached to — but Alisha has never been able to stop her heart.

It might be even more foolish of her to try.

Alisha sneaks out of the barracks as best she can, pulling the band from her hair and letting it fall loose around her shoulders. Rose and the seraphim are staying at an inn close to the market center — perfect for what she and Rose intend.

Alisha swears she feels eyes on her back as she steps into heart of the city, but when she chances a glance around her, no one is paying her any mind in the least. It’s a big change from when she usually arrives at a city. A crown princess, even the one most furthest removed from the throne, tends to draw attention. And Alisha has always been something of an oddity herself, always in the public eye despite being the black sheep of the royal family.

She takes the time to enjoy the bustle of the city. Anonymous, just another face in the crowd, Alisha flits from sight to sight, dipping her fingers in a fountain, peering at stalls and wagons — not a single person seems to recognize her.

It is wonderful.

Even the innkeeper barely bats an eye when Alisha greets her. The scent of food is enticing — even in the early morning there are patrons crowded around the low wooden tables, conversing or nursing their meals in silence, perhaps suffering the effects of a night full of ale or enjoying a solitary, peaceful morning. No one spares her more than a cursory glance, and Alisha heads to Rose’s room, marveling at the invisibility a simple change of clothing and hairstyle has afforded her.

She thinks she understands now how Rose can so easily change from a traveling merchant to a deadly assassin with no one the wiser. Most people don’t see what they don’t expect — and Rose’s sunshine sweet smile could make even a drawn blade seem unthreatening.  

Rose’s door is shut tight when she arrives. She can hear shuffling from within, but restrains her curiosity. Alisha knows better than to press her ear to the door — although she might not be acting as knight-princess now, it’s incredibly rude to eavesdrop. Even if the person she’s eavesdropping on is Rose.

Instead, she raps her knuckles against the door. “Rose! Rose, are you decent?”

More shuffling, and Rose’s voice rings out. “Not morally, but my pants are on, if that’s what you mean.” The floor creaks, and Alisha steps back as Rose throws the door open. She’s barefoot, hair wild and sticking up in points around her head. Her mouth curves in a lazy, catlike grin at the sight of Alisha, eyes roaming up and down her body.

“I knew it,” she says, sounding as self-satisfied as Ian after a hunt. “The tall, mysterious woodsman look totally works for you, Princess.”

“If this operation is to succeed, perhaps you should refrain from calling me that?” Rose rolls her eyes and tugs Alisha into the room by the wrist.

“You need to relax, Alisha. The more you think about this as an ‘operation,’ the stiffer you’ll act. And that, more than anything else, is what people are gonna pick up on.” She’s pushed onto the bed as Rose stands before her, fists planted on her hips. “So just take it easy, will ya? We’re just two normal gals enjoying a day at the market. ”

“If you say so, Rose.” Alisha startles when Rose reaches for her throat, clever fingers fiddling with her collar. “Er — ”

“Gods, I forget how weirdly you like to dress.” Rose undoes a button. Alisha’s throat bobs when her fingers brush against her skin. “It’s hot out, today! No one’s gonna button up their collar like this unless they’re total weirdos, especially if they’re also wearing a jacket!”

Rose makes a considering noise. “…Or unless they got up to some funny business last night. But since we don’t wanna look like either—” She tugs sharply at either side of the collar, exposing Alisha’s throat and clavicle. “It’s gonna be like this, capisce?”

“Ca…pisce?” Rose seems satisfied with Alisha’s answer, even if the tail end of her sentence trails up like a question. She runs her hands through her hair, busying herself with attaching her beads. Alisha looks away and scolds herself all the while, feeling as though she’s blundering in on a scene too intimate to intrude upon.

Rose is just doing her hair, not changing. Alisha keeps her eyes fixed to the wall anyways.

“Alright. Have you had breakfast yet?” Rose is leaning against the dresser, balancing awkwardly as she wriggles her foot into a boot. When Alisha shakes her head, she grins, all eagerness and bright-toothed delight. “Great! Street food is the best. And we might even run into some of the seraphim while we’re at it!” She wriggles her foot, the tip of her tongue poking from her mouth. “They ran off this morning to explore. Lailah’s pretty fond of Ladylake, did y’know?”

“Yes, I can imagine.” Alisha stands and instinctively smooths out the creases in her clothing. Something creaks at the seams, and she winces. “Rose, where did you get this shirt? It’s… tight.”

“Tight? So you like it then!” Rose snaps her fingers. “Ah, wait. Tight. Well, the shirt’s mine. I thought we were about the same size, but…” Her eyes settle on Alisha. “Guess you’re broader across the shoulders than I thought. Does it bother you that much?”  

Alisha flusters under her stare, a prickling heat crawling up the back of her neck to warm her cheeks. “No, not very. I’ll just have to hope that we won’t need to carry anything too heavy or engage in combat.” Alisha tries for a smile, relieved when Rose flashes her usual catlike grin. “I don’t think your shirt could survive such an encounter.”

“Yeah, no heroics today, okay "Allie?’” Alisha blinks. Even if it’s the name they’d decided on together, it still feels strange to be referred to by a pseudonym. Rose’s grin goes wide, and she reaches out to muss Alisha’s hair. “I like that shirt, and I want it back in one piece.”

“Is that necessary?” Alisha pulls away from Rose’s chasing hands, wrinkling her nose. “My hair is fine as it is, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I mean, it’s different enough.” There’s a petulant twist to Rose’s lips and a furrow in her brow. She eyes Alisha’s hair like it’s personally offended her. When Alisha cocks her head, Rose lifts her chin and plants her hands at her hips, bright and brazen. “Alright, ‘Allie’ — ready for a day out in Ladylake?”

Alisha’s heart thrills in her chest. Rose has always had this effect on her: a cold remark that ends with the two of them brawling on an inn room floor, a sly glance that steels her spine as they walk, alone, into the jaws of her countrymen-turned enemies. Rose sets a bar and Alisha leaps to meet it, to prove herself and her ideals to the person whose thoughts have become as a beacon to her.

She reaches out and slips her hand into Rose’s, squeezing firmly. Without the barrier of her gloves, Rose’s calloused hand is warm and firm in her skin.

“I am at your mercy.” Alisha smiles and revels in the way Rose’s lips part.

Alisha can’t so much as sneeze in the marketplace without elbowing someone. Taking advantage of the afternoon heat, merchants hawk fans and umbrellas, and more than one stall owner hands out cones of shaved ice.

Rose is nibbling on a skewer of chicken, eyes scanning the marketplace with lazy interest. Alisha, on the other hand, can’t get enough of the scene, still marveling at the way no one seems to pay her any mind.

“Rose, look!” Alisha tilts her chin towards a stall displaying masks. Made from thin, painted wood, the masks range from grotesque to comedic. She rushes over and carefully unhooks a mask from its hook, then holds it up to her face.

From between the narrow eye slits, Alisha sees Rose grin.

“It’s about time you replaced the mask you broke!” she cries, tossing her skewer to the floor. “I never did ask for repayment, didn’t I?”

“Given the situation, I doubt I owe you anything.” Alisha places the mask back on its hook and takes another one, a gaudy red and white mask with a snarl stretching from both sides of its face. “This one looks like you, though.”

“Hey, why that one?!” Rose reaches out and shoves a shut-eyed, weeping mask into Alisha’s arms. There are long strands of hair attached to the top, and they tickle as they brush against her ungloved hands. “Now this one — this one looks like you.”

“I’m afraid I don’t see the resemblance.” Rose taps underneath her eyelids, smirking in a way that triggers a very unlady-like urge to roll her eyes.

“It’s the crying, Allie.”

“Hey, you ladies going to buy something?” the stall owner grouses, mopping at his brow with a cloth. Alisha hurries to replace the masks, bowing her head and murmuring apologies as Rose tugs her back to the streets.

“So, anything you really want to see, Princess?” Rose, bereft of something to chew on, settles for hooking her thumbs into her beltloops, looking for all the world like another one of the merchants lining the streets, scanning the crowds for easy customers to lure in. Except in this case, Alisha supposes, Rose is looking for stalls to hook her into.

“Nothing in particular. I only wished to see Ladylake from the eyes of other citizens, to see what I can do to immediately improve their lives.” There’s a loose thread dangling from the sleeve of her jacket, and Alisha rubs it between her fingers. She should cut it, but drawing a dagger in such a crowded area seems a foolhardy idea at best. Rose hems and haws, tugging at the kerchief around her neck.  

“Lessee… if we’re talking Ladylake, there is one place I always like to visit whenever I come.” Rose shrugs carelessly and wanders off. Alisha admires how comfortable she is in her own skin. For a traveler that’s crossed the entire span of the continent, Rose seems more intimate with the comings and goings of the city than Alisha, a native citizen. She’s glad that Rose is with her, showing her sides of Ladylake that she’s never had the chance to know.

It happens when they return to the barracks. Alisha has seen her fill of the city, gleaned the information that her advisers hadn’t wanted to tell her. The sky is purple, lined with streaks of red and gold as the sun sinks behind the spirals of the temple. It’s beautiful. Ladylake is so beautiful: all of it, from the marketplace to the alleys. 

And Rose is beautiful too. She has a leaf stuck in her hair, and only her beads are keeping her hair neat and orderly. Their hands are linked, even if Rose’s is sticky with syrup. Alisha has wrapped her — or rather, Rose’s — jacket around Rose’s shoulders to ward against the evening chill. It’s mundane. The two of them could almost be normal girls having a nice day out, rather than the Shepherd and Hyland’s princess. 

“Thank you, Rose,” Alisha finally says when the sky is speckled with the faintest hint of stars. Rose leans against the walls of the barracks. They’re standing before the entrance furthest from the main road, where no one can see them. It’d ruin the whole purpose of their mission if Alisha was caught just outside her door. “For everything.”  “No problem.” Rose shrugs, looking a little uncomfortable the more Alisha smiles at her. “Seriously, don’t make a big deal out of it. ‘Course you’d want to see what’s happening in the city sometime, right? Did you have fun?”  “Oh, so very much.” Alisha claps her hands together. A thousand explanations bubble to her lips, but the smile on Rose’s face, a gentle shadow of her usual grin, stops her. “I… I never thought I’d get to see any of this. So really, Rose: thank you so much. This means a lot to me.”  Rose shakes her head. “Geez, what did I just say? I’m going to feel embarrassed if you say stuff like that for every little thing I do.” A familiar gleam winks in her eye; mischievous, playful, just like Rose. “But hey, if you really wanna thank me…” She taps a finger beneath her lower lip. Alisha flushes, but leans in anyways.  And then.  Something pops.  Rose’s eyes go wide. Alisha grimaces. The night air tickles the exposed skin of her shoulders, and Alisha pulls away as Rose begins to cackle. She slumps against the wall, her jacket slipping to the floor as she laughs into her hand.  “Oh, Princess! Of course you would!” chokes Rose, swiping tears from her cheeks. Alisha flushes and fiddles with the frayed threads of Rose’s now-ruined shirt. She can’t see why Rose is laughing! Hadn’t she said herself that she liked this top?  “I fail to see how this is funny.”  That, if anything, makes Rose laugh harder. “Hey,” she gasps. “Alisha, Alisha, flex for me — I want to see if you can rip the sleeves entirely.”  “That is absolutely ridiculous! Of course I can’t!”  “Come ooon! I’ve seen those biceps, you absolutely can! Pleeeeaaase?”  “I do not think so!” Alisha’s face is burning. She must be bright red. She snatches up Rose’s discarded jacket and slips it on. “I’m going to bed. Goodnight, Rose!”  “Aww, come on, Princess! Think of it like, like making up the cost of the shirt to me. It’s already ruined, might as well get something out of it, right? Or I know — maybe as a final favor, from Allie to Rose?” She slaps her knee, doubled over for the force of her giggles. Alisha shakes her head and cracks open the door. Some things never change. Even if the sun were never to rise again and the moon should fall from the sky, she can always count on Rose to be absolutely, utterly incorrigible. She smiles despite herself as Rose’s laughter rings off the streets and alleys of Ladylake. “I said, goodnight!” 

so @pasdechat ‘s bday was the other day!! unfortunately i ran into a plot issue the day of so i couldnt quite get this fic out when i wanted to, but better late than never!! sarah, you’re such a sweet person and an inspiration to writers everywhere. whenever i see ur name in the DMs i know i’ve been sent smth both quality AND wonderful. your encouragement helped me power through a lot of tough fics n rough times, n i always look forward 2 seeing your thoughts on a new piece. thank u for being such a warm n encouraging presence n for all the works u’ve written!! i always go wild over ur new fics–they never fail 2 make my day. i hope the rest of ur bday month (and vacation) will be amazing!! ^^/

[hotcocosharing]

Naked Landlord Part 3@Readers’ Choice Series (SMUT)

Readers: hmmpphhh (Mina Aino) Scenario / Situations Greeting Stranger (almost) naked Fandom: KBTBB Character: Soryu Oh, Ryosuke Inui Notes: TRAIN OF SMUT, featuring Inui, Samejima and may or may not include their boss

*misleading title- he isn’t really naked, you are*

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Just as you feel you’re close, a sharp gasp has surprised you. It’s the very man who rents you this apartment, Inui- standing in disbelief with his hands on his mouth and the unmistakable bulge in his pants.

“Sorry! Ms. Aino, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” The poor guy is too shocked to move, you’ve never had an audience before and he’s awfully cute when he’s embarrassed. Shouldn’t it be the other way round?

Turning around swiftly with Soryu’s warm sheet still underneath your wet core, you sit by the edge of bed and open wide, your fingers teasingly dance around your drenched panties. Your lips curve upwards in a grin as the young fellow gulp nervously, his eyes dart between your face and fingers.

“I don’t think you can just leave the apartment with that bulge?”

His hand jump from his mouth to his pants, it’s a bit too late, isn’t it? By the time he looks back up, your panties are on the floor, your face is flushed; your breathing rapid and shallow. His eyes widen with such desire and amazement, you can’t help but wonder if Mr. Oh would react the same way.

You begin giving Inui a private show, drawing your left hand and pinch your nipple lightly through the cup of your blue lace bra with your dark brown eyes fix on his startled face; he can’t help but shiver in reaction as a moan escapes your lips.

He never would have thought this is how his morning begins but right now, he wants to see more. Somewhere in his mind it occurs to him that this maybe a dream, Soryu Oh could ring any minute to wake him from this sexy wet dream, this is why he’s feeling the most on his tip, right? It’s just a dream. It takes him a moment to step forward then kneeling awkwardly by the bed to stroke his groin and joins you.

“Not fair,” you pout, “Shouldn’t you take them off too?”

You aren’t normally this forward with people you barely know but Inui is really cute and innocent, you love making him blushes. His trembling hand begins to free his member while his other hand rests on your inner thigh. His dick twitches in his hand as he watched your index finger pushing inside your pussy. He pumps faster, licking his lower lip while you push the second and third fingers in, he watches your tight muscles stretch around them with your mouth gasp open and moan out loud. “Ahhhh, faster.”

He obeys like a good boy and picks up his pace, matching your rhythm and speeds on the feed to his own movements. Suddenly you arch your back and clench the bedsheets as wave of ecstasy hits your hard. Liquid spills out soaks Soryu’s bed and floor.

Inui bites his lip so hard, choking back a moan of completion as he spurts his seeds into his own hand. His eyes snap open at the ring from his phone, “Sorry boss!!”

You smile breathlessly as the frightened little boy apologies to Soryu for taking so long, his eyes fix on your breasts, rising up and down and you get off the bed. Walking towards him, lowering yourself in front of him. His voice cracks when his sensitive cock meets with your tongue, he clamps his hand over his mouth to suppress a moan.

“Inui!! What’s taking so long!”

You’d hear Soryu’s stern voice on the other end and to put the boy out of misery, you lick from his tip to the bottom then go back up to clean him thoroughly.

“Ahhhh!!! Sorry sir!! I’ll … I’ll be right down.”

Inui cuts Soryu off before he’d yell at him again, the innocent boy swallows and sheepishly looks at you. “Thank you, mam. That… was .. amazing.” But his eyes soon turn into horror when he looks behind to see the mess he has made.

“Don’t worry. I’ll clean up.” You tilt your head and smile satisfyingly before escorting the boy out the door.

What a blissful morning, you sigh dreamily and wonder if something similar could ever happened between you and your smoking hot landlord before you wipe off all the traces of your naughty acts and head to work.

Your day job at the cafe is pretty easy and straight forward, let’s see how your night job is. It’s a beautiful night at the club, popular, crowded but with class as the most exclusive club in Tokyo. Putting on a black lace eye mask and matching corset, you get on stage and relax yourself in the pulsating lights and throbbing beat of music. Feeling all eyes on you while you get down and pull yourself back up onto the pole before spinning around it, legs slipping up and locking around the pole as you hang upside down to blow kisses out into the cheering crowd.

As your feet hit the ground, you rub your clothed core right up against the pole, throwing your head back in ecstasy and of course exaggerating your reactions. Just then, your eyes meet with a man, he looks rather expressionless but he’s just like the rest- unable to take his eyes off you.

Getting ready for the finale, you pull away from the pole then press your back to it before sinking down, legs bend and spread with your fingers dancing along your inner thighs, pretending to drive yourself over the edge. Paying attention to the song, you wait till the exact moment to buck your hips forward, showing the audience your curve right before you jump on the pole and spin around it one last time for the big finish.

“Hey.” You hear an unfamiliar manly voice and turn to see the man who you lock eyes with.

“Back stage’s off limit, sir.” You smile and tie your hair up, “Do you mind? I need to change.”

He doesn’t move.

“I charge if you want a private show.”

Still no reply, good looking is one thing but you could never stand a boring man.

“How much?”

You burst out laughing, “You’re serious? I was just kidding!” Putting your hands on his shoulders, you begin pushing the uninvited guest out the door, “I don’t sell myself.” His brow frown, “Just because I do erotic dance doesn’t make me a sell every part of me.”

You’re a little annoyed but the young man quickly apologizes, “Sorry, it’s just .. I think.. you are really pretty and … I .. kind of want to watch more.. “

You can’t help but grin at his compliment, it’s been too long since you’ve met a customer who’s not a total creep who thinks he owns you because he’s paid his entry fee. Stepping on tip toe, you kiss his cheek which turns pink in a instant. The young man steps backwards and sits on the dressing table, making his bulge more visible to the both of you. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to. It’s my first time here…” He quickly stops as if exposing a secret that’s not for him to tell, your eyes darken and close the distance.

“Do you want some help with it then?” He looks up in surprise, eyes with anticipation though. “Free of charge.” You grin and unbuckle his belt, pulling his boxer and trousers off in one go. The good looking man whimpers softly at the touch of yours hands wrap around the bottom of his shaft and lips circling his moist tip, a sharp gasp escapes his mouth as you take him all the way in. What a nice feeling to have such young and energetic fella under your control, to feel his over sensitive cock twitches at your every move.

His hands slide through your hair, brushing it gently before sweeping it to one side. He gazes into your eyes and you wonder if he’s imagining an ex girlfriend, or some girl he admires. The thought of him thinking about someone else have you put in all the effort until his fingers pull you back slightly. His brown eyes sparkles in the dim room with the grin that tugs on his lips, he shyly says, "You're really pretty."

Your hand pump faster, ignoring the compliment and ask, "Are you about to come?"

"M-Mmhm." Another sheepish grin. "Sorry."

“Samejima!!”

Someone bursts in, leaving all three of you in shock but it’s Soryu who breaks the silence. “Ms. Aino?!” Both of you back away and Soryu hides his surprise face within second, “Get out!” You immediately stand up from his serious tone but his wrist grips yours as he eyes the disappointed young man to leave.

As soon as the door shuts, Soryu pushes you up against it and slams his fist to the door. “WHO ARE YOU!?”

“Mina Aino, your tenant!” Your heartbeat speed up as chill creeps through your entire body but meanwhile also nervous at how close he is, damn he is so good looking!!

“WHO SENT YOU?!”

Why is he asking you weired questions?! And why is he so pissed?

“No one!!! What is wrong with you?”

“Why are you after my men?”

“What?” Soryu’s grip lossen at your confusion, “They both work for you?”

Soryu backs away but his eyes are still fixed on you, waiting for a proper answer.

“I.....well...wait, Inui told you?”

Soryu rolls his eyes, “Like he’d keept a secret.”

“Well.. I didn’t plan for it to happen.. wait, what exactly did he tell you?” Luckily, it turns out Inui CAN keep a secret, at least yours safe for now. “I... I was just helping the gentlemen.” You grin, hoping to ligthen the intense mood. “Do you need any help too?” You ask, eyeing between his thighs.

“No.” A small huff of laughter comes out before he replies, “Not interested.”

NOT INTERESTED! Are his eyes open? Does he not see what you’re wearing or what’re doing on stage, mintues ago?

“As long as you are not sent by our rivals, you are free to date or ... PLAY with whoever you want but Ms. Aino.. at least do it in your OWN room.” Soryu says, an annoyed look appear on his face.

Without another word or look, your landlord leave you alone in the room feeling shocked, embarrased and challenged.

[dcbicki]

I will never understand people who claim to like Elizabeth Swan, and then, the moment she puts on a pretty dress, they declare her character ruined. Is her value based on her clothes? My personal favourite is Will, and especially CotFD!Will. But still, if the curse was broken and he spent the rest of his days playing with his grandchildren, I would not declare his character Ruined Forever. Elizabeth has earned her pretty dresses.Will has earned a peaceful life with his family. (1/2)

(2/2) Elizabeth’s kickassery is part of her character, not something that she loses or gains based on whether she wears pirate garb or not. I guess that’s one of the reasons I like Willabeth. Will knew she could kick ass with the best of them when she was still “Miss Swan” to him. He didn’t started treating her as an equal only after she ditched the dresses, because he loves her for who she is, not for her clothes. (Btw your gifedits are gorgeous, 10/10, could stare at them all day)

This is gonna be an essay.

I entirely agree with your thinking.

Will has been and will always be my favourite, but Elizabeth is a close fucking second. And, yes, I’d be just as glad to watch them have another last-minute child, or play with potential grandchildren via Henry, because you know what? They deserve to actually live comfortably and happily. They deserve nice things, and they’ve more than paid the price for such luxuries. Elizabeth lost her father, lost her standing as the Governor’s daughter (whether she wanted it or not). Will literally died, and since getting married, they’ve spent a grand total of approximately 50 hours together (2 x 48hrs + whatever time it took to find the fucking island they banged on in the first place and settle all accounts).

They both went through hell and back, and I’ve personally never believed their goal, their personal endgame was to become pirates. That’s just what happened, via circumstance and, well, destiny.) I mean, Will was pretty resolute on the whole “I practice three hours a day so when I meet a pirate I can kill it!” thing. And young Elizabeth’s “I think it’d be rather exciting to meet a pirate.” dream never screamed “She wants to ditch the skirts and go pirating!” to me. It just didn’t.

She wanted adventure, she wanted romance, she wanted to meet exciting people. She got all of this, and even more than she bargained for. You’ll go on crusades and dip your toe in the seas of piracy, but your father will pay the price. You’ll get your love, but he’s gonna die and basically be kept from you for all of eternity. You’ll meet those pirates you dreamed of so often and you’ll even become their King, but there is a cost.

None of this seems to have anything to do with the whole “Why is she wearing a corseted dress? Bullshit!” discourse this site’s been babbling on about for some days now. But it’s relevant anyway because, hey, Elizabeth’s value as a character does not depend on whether she dresses more feminine or masculine. It’s a part of her arc, yes (there’s no denying that). But you know what (or rather who) else is a key factor in her endgame? William.

One minute into Curse of the Black Pearl, and a young Lizzie is caught singing a pirate song she shouldn’t even know the words to. Three minutes into Curse of the Black Pearl, and a young Lizzie is staring down at a young Will Turner, and we know where this is going, we know where this is going to end up. She eyes his medallion in curiosity, and then she steals it to protect him, to save him.

Elizabeth’s arc was about Will, and about them as a pair. And I’m not being being anti-feminist when I say this, far from it. On a first watch, you’re assuming she’s some kind of damsel in semi-distress and he’s the handsome makeshift knight who’s gonna go through hell and back to save her. Nope. Think again. Dead Man’s Chest? Oh, they’re arrested and she’s held prisoner and Will is gonna find the compass that frees her so they can live happily ever after. Nope. Think again. Elizabeth is gonna stow her savvy ass away on a merchant’s ship, disguise herself and go after him and the compass herself.

I think a good portion of those unhappy with her look in that one second, blink-and-you-miss-it clip from the trailer have this cemented in their brains.

I understand why. That dress looked painful af, and it damn near killed her. But that doesn’t mean she’s sworn off wearing dresses. She was brought up wearing gowns and jewellery, given nice things all her life. She gets taken as a hostage, swaps out one puffy dress for a pair of trousers and a jacket (above). But upon returning to Port Royal, she’s back in a dress; only it’s a little less constricting.

You know why? Yes, she’s still the Governor’s daughter and still has to present herself a certain way. But, she’s also a woman who likes pretty things, and pretty dresses.

Granted, that particular dress got soaked and ripped and left to rot at the bottom of the sea because it was suffocating her. But it’s still fancy, and elegant, and she’s a big fucking fan of its look.

So, upon returning from her early introduction to piracy, she’s back in dresses. (Note this one that looks eerily similar to the one spotted in the latest DMTNT trailer. More on that later…).

Ah, the wedding. Corset-hating Elizabeth is back in a gloriously feminine dress. She looks beautiful. She’d be fucking radiant if they hadn’t arrested her groom. Oh, and then they arrest her too and throw her in a cell while he’s sent off on some kind of rescue mission. Does she stay there though? No. She holds his douche at gunpoint and puts her own save-Will plan into action.

You know what’s not a problem here? The dress. She’s angry heroine in a big wedding dress, and it’s amazing. And it only becomes an obstacle when her one way off the island is through an exclusively male merchant’s ship, and bartering her way onto the ship in such a dress would never work. She needs masculine clothing to hide her femininity, to fit in, to move with ease aboard a busy ship and among its sailors. I somehow don’t think balling up to Tortuga like this in her wedding gown would have quite worked out?

Why is she there? It’s not because her desire to engage in piracy is so strong that she just couldn’t help herself. It’s not because she wants the pirates’ life, good and true. She wants Will. She’s adapting to fit the environment, but her goal is still the same. Her feelings in DMC become a little uncertain at a point or two, but her biggest priority has always been to find Will and grant them both freedom.

I don’t believe it’s for nothing that the shot of her wedding gown lost at sea transitioned into her looking all gloomy aboard the Pearl. It’s not a “See? Her dress was just holding her back from what she really wanted! Piracy!” sort of shot, imo. It’s a “The lengths she is going to are fucking strenuous.” to me, because oh, guess what they follow it up with?

Lizzie wants to be wedded and bedded, living her life somewhere safe from the East India. Lizzie wants to have been wedded in her wedding dress, and bedded by her damsel of a groom. Lizzie is engaging in piracy for the short term, because it’s the only option left for her, for them. Will is the one who needs saving, to her. If her sacrificing Jack to save them both didn’t spell that out for you, then I’m not sure what will. If her guilt at sacrificing Jack to save them both didn’t spell out that she is only human to you, then I don’t know what will. Yes, she’s a pirate. She’s ruthless. But her intent at the start was never to become a full-fledged pirate.

First she holds a man at gun point, and then she holds a different man at knife point. Elizabeth is ruthless, determined. But the way I see it is this: more people would view this scene as her being a badass pirate rather than the one above (gun). Why? The scowl is the same. It’s only the outfit and weapon that are different. And there is nothing entirely feminine about a pistol, so the choice of weapon isn’t what bridges the divide. It’s the outfit. Because this is dark and genderless, more masculine than it is feminine, and less sexualized. (She suffers tremendous amounts of female sexualization throughout the movies but that’s a whole other post). And she’s hiding half a dozen weapons beneath her clothes, so this obviously means the dress-loving Lizzie of past movies is well and truly gone. Nope.

I keep seeing posts like “She’s the Pirate King! Why isn’t she wearing some kickass pirate gear and wielding swords?” Interesting. You do realise this was battle-wear, don’t you? She kicked off a war and fought her way through it wearing this ensemble. Note: that belt always seemed much too tight and constricting to me, almost like a corset but *cough* moving along…

What lies underneath is a whole other story, though.

The rest of her armor is nowhere in sight and I’m willing to bet this wasn’t without its intentions. Now a wife, Elizabeth is only seen in the dress that hung beneath her Pirate King! battle clothing. She’s sexualized (again, because this is basically her underclothes), but she’s meant to have just been having sex and deep levels of intimacy for hours so it’s understandable. She’s no longer waging a war, she’s no longer in need of protection in form of clothing because she’s vulnerable.

That which she fought so long and so hard for has just been afforded to her, in a cruel way. She has Will, and she doesn’t exactly get the happy ending she longed for. And I personally don’t believe that because the last shot of her in the film is stood alone on a beach with a rowboat and a chest means she was left there for ten years. Woman is hardcore, and when she wants something, she works for it. (Case in point, this entire post).

The next time we see her, she’s wearing something less combatant and a little more feminine. Understandable given she has a nine year old son and responsibilities, and from what we now know he’s been brought up so fucking well.

Perhaps she engaged in a few more small wars. Perhaps she sent many a dead pirate down to her husband’s awaiting ferrying hands. Perhaps she didn’t do any of this because it may never have been her desire in the first place. But her son is well-educated and well-read, and living with the idea that her character has been thrown to the wolves because she maybe chose to be a stable mother rather than a pirate in danger of extinction is ludicrous.

I think many of you are forgetting she’s around the age of 40-42 by now, and she’s probably nicely settled into society. We don’t know much about what she’s been up to, or what she’s been doing. And we aren’t going to. This is most, likely, it for her.

And complaining because she’s wearing a dress that looks moderately corseted and heavily similar to that which she wore back in Curse of the Black Pearl is just mindless. Doesn’t she deserve nice things? Doesn’t she deserve to finally be happy and comfortable, and live freely but elegantly.

Note: Her role now is essentially to reunite with Will for once and for all (depending on the franchise’s future), and to tie in the loose ends of their storyline. This new scene is going to rewrite over anything the previous writers’ sold the fandom (that after ten years, he’s free.). But I for one am here for it, because as much as I loved the parts of her storyline that involved her slashing people with a sword that looked much too heavy for her to handle or putting assholes back into place, I equally loved the parts that revolved around her love story, that revolved around hers and Will’s fate.

Besides, if you hadn’t seen the love of your life in ten years, wouldn’t you want to look glorious af for the occasion?

All this to say, the dress is gonna make the scene far more beautiful and reminiscent of the first movies… so shut the fuck up.

[amphtaminedreams]

The Women of Euphoria and Personal Style: Lookbook no.8

Hi to anyone reading,

I hope you’re well considering everything going on! It feels weird to want to talk about fashion or TV shows or red carpets or whatever when 90% of my Google searches are COVID-19 related but there you go. It’s all about trying to power through as normal (minus the social interaction) and pretend the world isn’t ending, right? Queue nervous laughter.

And as if things aren't shitty enough, production of season 2 of Euphoria has been postponed until further notice. 

Okay, in the grand scheme of things, having to wait a bit longer for a TV show isn’t catastrophic but it does just about sum up the transition from 2019 to 2020 thus far that after HBO redeemed itself by broadcasting Euphoria in the summer following an ending to Game of Thrones that has made the whole series unrewatchable, the glimmer of hope in me reignited by the prospect of series 2 this year has been quickly dashed. 2021, I’m rooting for you, because it doesn’t seem like things are getting better any time soon, and in all seriousness, I think everyone needs a break from the collective suffering of the last few months.

For me (and undoubtedly for many others if the hundreds of makeup looks and styling videos are anything to go by), Euphoria’s effect on the world of fashion and beauty is unprecedented. I really can’t recall a TV show in living memory that has had as much of an impact on the way young people dress. I mean, this might partially be because the style of the characters already kind of caters to and draws from the target audience but also, aside from Blair Waldorf did anybody really give THAT much of a fuck about what anybody in Gossip Girl wore?

The draw of the styling on Euphoria is that it has something for everyone. The style of each of the main girls, Rue, Kat, Maddy, Jules and Cassie, all of whom I’ve attempted (emphasis on attempted!) to base (emphasis on base!) outfits around, is varied and distinctive but still so current and realistic at the same time. It’s also consistent; even if you don’t own the specific pieces worn by any of them, similar shapes and details reoccur enough in different looks throughout the series that it’s not hard to create an outfit which matches your favourite character’s overall vibe without buying anything new. That’s kinda what I have attempted to do here and without further ado, I’m gonna get on with it! First up:

Jules (Played by Hunter Schafer)

When it comes to whose style is the most experimental, Jules is the obvious answer. A lot of her outfits are what I imagine a cartoonist in the near-distant future will envision their cool girl protagonist wearing. Whilst her ensembles are generally whimsical and girly for the most part, there’s usually a few slightly punk-ish finishing touches thrown in there too be it through chunky shoes or bold makeup or that incredible mesh trench coat she wears in the series finale with the trans symbol on the back which, honestly, deserves a moment of silence. 

There are definitely nods to current fashion trends sprinkled throughout her wardrobe too. I'm not going to lie, despite someone at work seemingly thinking it was an insult to tell me I look like someone who does (I still don’t know but this person has a Rick and Morty keyring so I don’t give it too much weight), I’ve never watched any anime. BUT, that being said, given the abundance of anime screenshots posted by all these aesthetic oriented Instagram and Tumblr moodboard accounts, I have a vague idea of what some of the more iconic characters look like and a lot of Jules’ looks seem to be very much modelled after or at least inspired by them. In a way, I see a lot of her looks as a blend between modern “e-girl”, Y2K skater chick (yes, I’m thinking early Avril Lavigne), and 2013 Tumblr “hipster” a la 2014 Joanna Kutcha and Charlie Barker, and though on paper that sounds like a nightmare combination, it works. I know-if that sentence were a Depop description I would’ve just gained 30 followers.

When it comes to my own interpretation of Jules’ style, it’s definitely something I like to channel when I’m putting together a proper OUTFIT outfit. Meaning an outfit I actually put effort into and thus will most likely want to get a good photo in, lol. The way her character dresses is almost quite Christopher Kane in that it’s fresh and unusual but still understated enough that I wouldn’t walk into a room wearing any of these feeling like I’m doing a Rick Owens runway.

I’m not TOO far out of my comfort zone but still at the same time, I’d be trying something new and maybe a little bit more zany than I'm used to. As for noting where any of these pieces are from, only a few have been bought in the last 6 months, but from left to right clockwise I have marked out those that have in case they’re still available (though be wary of the fact that it seems a lot of online clothes stores are still forcing warehouse employees to work in close confines at the moment and so perhaps aren’t operating the most ethically):

LOOK 1

Corset-Jaded London

Shoes-TK Maxx

LOOK 2

Dress-Motel Rocks

Boots-Koi Vegan Footwear

LOOK 3

Dress-Jaded London

LOOK 4

Dress-Jaded London

Beret-Ebay

LOOK 5

Beret-Ebay

LOOK 6

Mesh Top-Depop

Hair Clips-Urban Outfitters

Kat (Played by Barbie Ferreira) 

Eurgh, Kat. 

I LOVE THIS BITCH.

If I had to choose my favourite character in the show, it would be a very close toss-up between her and Rue, and though I think Rue might just about nab the top spot for her relatability factor, Kat is the girl I want to be or wish that I had been when I was at school. I mean, there’s definitely an argument to be made in that a lot of what she’s doing with her cam work could be seen as a means of validation (Sam Levinson has basically said everyone on the show has some kind of an unhealthy coping mechanism and I would guess due to the circumstances in which her cam girl career was borne and the fact she’s underage, this would be hers) but I do think in other ways we really see Kat reclaim her power and recognise herself for the smart, capable, gorgeous woman that she is. Honestly, the definition of divine feminine energy, and I would completely let Barbie Ferreira/basically Kat if she was also actually 23 dominate me.

Plus! Her! Style! Is! The! Bomb! Definitely the easiest character to base looks around because if I’m totally honest Kat’s energy is pretty much just what I want to emulate in every day life. 

It’s either pieces that are typically feminine, cutesy, and even slightly preppy at times drenched in everything grunge OR vice versa where you have something semi-gothic and then add a colourful, more playful touch in there that harks back to the beginning of the series before Kat had began to explore her identity and sexuality and dressed slightly more Forever 21.

I’d say, not yet with my whole chest, that on a good day the outfits I put together when making an effort aren’t too far off something Kat would wear, minus the more overtly BDSM touches; if wearing a ring choker in London is enough to get me a creepy comment from a gross middle aged shopkeeper (because I apparently forfeited my right not to be perved on when I decided to buy a bottle of Oasis summer fruits), then you can only imagine the kind of looks wearing a full-on harness would get in my conservative OAP dominated hometown. Not the most doable right now, especially considering the only time I get out is to work and to go for a run. The chafing I could deal with but the horrified glares of pensioners whose M&S prawn mayo sandwiches I’ve ruined by simply being in their eyesight not so much.

LOOK 1-

Corset-Urban Outfitters

LOOK 2-

Bodysuit-Depop

Skirt-Zara

Harness-Ebay

LOOK 3-

Co-ord-Depop

Lace-up Corset-Missguided

LOOK 4-

Dress-Vintage

LOOK 5-

Belt-Ebay

LOOK 6-

Coat-Topshop

Dress-Jaded London

LOOK 7-

Fishnet Top-Ebay

Skirt-Urban Outfitters

Maddy (Played by Alexa Demie)

Not gonna lie, I was kind of scared to do Maddy. I’m scared to be posting this, lol! Alexa Demie has played this character for a single season and she’s already one of the most iconic women to grace our screens in years. This is a huge undertaking and I don’t have the bank balance or the body confidence (lmao) to raid IAmGia. 

And this is where I want to stress: THESE ARE NOT OUTFIT RECREATIONS. THESE ARE INSPIRED BY. I HAVE ADDED ELEMENTS OF MY OWN STYLE INTO THEM. PLEASE DON’T DRAG ME. I KNOW, I’M NOT ALEXA DEMIE. I WOULD NEVER ASSUME TO BE ALEXA DEMIE. I’M NOT ABOUT TO TAKE THE LORD’S NAME IN VAIN LIKE THAT. So now we’ve got that out the way (wipes bead of sweat off forehead), let’s continue. 

Everything about Maddy Perez is extra. She has very much been established as a centre of attention character, and her outfits are a key part of that. They’re daring, they’re hyper-feminine, and they are always glamorous. We’re told that she competed in beauty pageants when she was younger and it’s clear that level of excess and coordination and glitz and all-round-boujeeness wormed its way into her DNA during that time. Even the “depression” outfit she wears to school following Nate becoming violent at the fair is costume-like, a 2019 Bratz doll Off-White street style collaboration.

Do you know how HARD I had to try to be HOT!? For these photos. Alexa Demie is one of those blessed women who doesn’t have to try at all, and that translates into the character completely. At any given moment, Maddy could add or remove one item or clothing and be let straight into the VIP section of a club, and that, honestly, is inspiring to us all in these dark times. 

One thing I tried to keep in mind is that she always looks polished and coordinated, I.E the kind of look I would prepare for a night out is something Maddy would wear on an average day. Co-ords and delicate prints seem to be more subtle wardrobe staples along with mesh and PVC and glitter and feathers and fur and basically anything that toes the line between expensive looking and tacky. Yes, I am aware we may toe different sides of that line but please let me stay delusional and believe that’s not the case for 5 minutes. Much appreciated xoxo

LOOK 1-

Bodysuit-Jaded London

LOOK 2-

Bralette-Depop

LOOK 3-

Co-ord Suit-Boohoo

Bodysuit-Boohoo

LOOK 4-

Dress-Motel Rocks

Shoes-Schuh

LOOK 5-

Bodysuit-Zaful

Trousers-Depop

Coat-Topshop

LOOK 6-

Dress-Zaful

Belt-Zaful

LOOK 7-

Top-Jaded London

Hair Clips-H&M

Rue (Played by Zendaya Coleman)

I have a complicated relationship with Rue as a character. When I started season 1 of Euphoria, I was like “Oh my god, this girl is the worst. Jesus, she’s so negative and draining and willingly self-destructive and-”

Then, oh my god is this what it’s like to live with me!?

I will say, to my own credit, that I don’t think I've ever been quite as hard to deal with as Rue (a lot less smashing stuff up and a lot more moping), and to HER credit, by the end of the season we come to realise she’s been through a fucking lot and so it makes sense, but wow. I don’t think I have ever seen a teen show handle drug abuse and mental illness in such a brutal way. It’s quite a talent to be able to show a character cause so much pain to those closest to them and yet do so through a sympathetic lens. And issues aside, whether it’s her occasional social awkwardness or her relationship with her family or watching bloody Love Island (still quite surreal to see Zendaya Coleman witnessing the Amy/Curtis drama unfold), Rue is just my favourite character to follow. 

Her style, though. AH. The thing is, I can hardly drag it, because it’s pretty much what I wear when I’m moping about the house-or just any time I can get away with it to be honest-to a T. I want to stay true to character, but that being said, creating a “Seth Rogen”-esque outfit that’s worth posting on here is difficult. So, with the same kind of artistic license that had me wearing berets whilst cosplaying Maddy Perez, here is the best I could do:

I know, I know, it’s probably too much colour and jewellery for Rue but this is as toned down as I could do and I tried to stick with the key silhouettes we see from her throughout the season; I mean, I can’t see her wearing leopard print but the structure of the coat in outfit 1 is very similar to the one seen in Shook Ones pt.II. I think the bottom line when it comes to her character is keeping things effortless and not overly-feminine; you want to mix street style, athleisure and your dad’s wardrobe favourites like your life depends on it. Plus messy hair and smudged makeup, both of which I’ve already got down according to the completely inappropriate number of customers who’ve asked if I'm tired at work so thanks for that guys, and glitter tears. Lots and lots of glitter tears.

OUTFIT 1-

Dungarees-Vintage

OUTFIT 2-

Trousers-Depop

Cardigan-Urban Outfitters

OUTFIT 5-

Beanie-Depop

OUTFIT 6-

Shirt-Boohoo Man

Sports Bra-TK Maxx

Trousers-Urban Outfitters

OUTFIT 7-

Shirt-Jaded London

Cassie (Played by Sydney Sweeney)

Style-wise, Cassie is a hard one. When putting outfits for her character together, I found myself gravitating towards a direction that’s probably a bit too bohemian for her character, under the guidance of loose terms like “girl-next-door”, “floaty”, “delicate”, you get the idea. She definitely feels the least fully-realised in terms of all the main girls and I think it’s fair to say she’s probably got a bit of self-discovery to do. Most of her storylines in the season are dictated by her relationships to other people: McKay, Maddy, Lexie, her parents and so on. 

Nevertheless, I tried to stick to the airier, more traditionally “pretty” pieces whilst still channelling the confidence and ease with which Cassie pulls them off. Sydney Sweeney has the most incredible figure and I feel like whilst the clothes the on-set stylists put her in flatter that and don’t hide anything, they’re still the focus. It doesn’t feel like there’s anything more inherently sexual about her character than any of the other main female characters despite the way the men within the narrative view her, and I think it’s a testament to the the wardrobe department that to me she still gives off big modern Disney princess energy and a certain innocence even whilst we hear her being continuously sexualised by her male peers. 

If anything, Cassie probably dresses the most like an actual teenage girl, and her style, whilst less distinctive than the other girls, still does a good job of capturing the youth and romanticism of her character. 

The colour palette of her wardrobe tends to be quite neutral, with a couple of pastels thrown in there, and if there are any details, they’re usually quite dainty. Similarly, Cassie is probably the least experimental when it comes to her makeup; we don’t really see her wearing the bold eyeshadows or liners or gems like the other girls at any point.

OUTFIT 1-

Bodysuit-Motel Rocks

Hair Clips-Bershka

OUTFIT 2-

Dress-Jaded London

OUTFIT 3-

Trousers-Urban Outfitters

OUTFIT 4-

Top-Urban Outfitters

Hairband-H&M

`OUTFIT 5-

Top-Urban Outfitters

Jeans-Zaful

Headband-Primark

OUTFIT 6-

Top-Urban Outfitters

OUTFIT 7-

Dress-Urban Outfitters

Hair Clips-Boohoo

SO, I guess that’s it for my Euphoria lookbook! As always, let me know what you think (nicely pls, my ego is fragile lol) and I’d love to hear your opinions on the show too! I really haven’t got this excited over a new TV show in ages and I just think that it does everything so excellently-from the writing to the cinematography to the soundtrack, you can tell each element is so carefully and purposefully constructed. It immerses you into the dramatic highs and lows of being a teenager in a way I haven’t seen since UK Skins and I never thought I’d watch a show which held a candle to that. 

In terms of what I’m doing next, I’ve got a very delayed fashion week masterpost in the works as well as something to fill the Met Gala shaped hole in our lives, which I hope to get up over the next couple of weeks. In the meantime, if you read to the end, THANK YOU! And I hope you’re staying safe and AT HOME where possible. I know this self-isolation feels never-ending and if I’m honest, it is having a hugely negative effect on my mental health, but NHS staff are doing their very best with the shitty recourses they have and whilst it seems that our government have thrown workers under the bus once again, we can all do our bit to combat that by slowing the spread of the virus. Also thank you to anybody who’s out working now in such a scary and uncertain time! I work at a grocery store and can say from experience that the best way to show this thanks is just through kindness and following employee’s instructions without giving them grief for it. Everyone’s scared right now and the best we can do is pull together and look out for each other, as difficult as that might seem at times.

Anyway, sorry for the ramble, and like I said, stay safe! Thanks once again if you read til the end or even if you’re just here for the photos. Appreciate it more than you know either way!

Lauren x

[joonievjones]

Grace

Grace 🌼

Status: ongoing :)

Future Mature content 💞

Text Copyright © JoonieVJones & Miickiye.

Please do not copy or repost my stories, I post on Tumblr as JoonieVJones and on Wattpad as Miickiye but those are my only two accounts.

🌻summary: You always knew of your parents wish for expansion of their kingdom, however you never expected you'd be the key to their fulfillment. Being thrown into a sudden engagement with a faraway prince never seen of previously while having your childhood best friend act in ways also never seen before can leave a girl in complete confusion with a lot to lose and one choice to make.

🌻pairings: readerxNamjoon, readerxJungkook

🌻topics: romance, fluff, eventual smut, angst

🌼 Grace

🌼🌼🌼chapter 3

"A unity?" Jungkook looked away angrily.

"I guess our kingdoms are now allies."

"Y/n… you know what this could possibly mean."

"I refuse to believe they'd marry me off."

Once again, like a couple of days earlier, silence surrounded you guys, this time it was suffocating.

"Let's run away together." You said seriously.

Jungkook's face paled while his eyes simultaneously lit up.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

You both stood up and grabbed the already packed bags, immediately setting them back down two seconds later.

You let out a frustrated grunt.

"If only it were that easy." He mumbled.

"You're telling me."

Tossing yourself onto the bed you scratched your head.

Usually it'd be styled into some sort of braid but today you had it loose and natural as well as instead of wearing a fancy dress you wore a lavender off the shoulder dress with a deep plum lace up corset belt.

Jungkook also wore casual clothes instead of his usual uniform.

"Imagine the headlines. At first we'd be assumed lost or kidnapped."

"Then I'd be suspected of treason."

"And don't forget the romance rumors." You quipped.

He laughed, making sure the windows were fully shut and covered before laying down next to you.

"I can read them already."

"Me too. It'd be the dream of many if we're being honest. I've seen a lot of people speculate on our relationship." You used his arm as a pillow and nuzzled up close to his chest.

"Do they?"

"Mhm." You nodded your head.

"They're idiots." He mumbled.

Your heart panged.

"They scrape at whatever to get some sort of drama from your family."

"Yeah…" A sigh escaped you, closing your eyes and breathing in his scent usually helped you yet today you couldn't help but be hurt by his tone of voice.

You didn't mind the rumors. Sometimes you even purposely fed them hoping they'd soften your parents up, why did he seem so annoyed by them.

"The trees were whispering today." Your voice was low.

"What did they say?"

"They told me about my future engagement." Your words were sour, immediately the atmosphere dulled. He stared intently at the ceiling.

Kook didn't say anything for a couple of seconds.

"Did they mention anything else?"

This time you took time to collect your thoughts. You couldn't tell him the full story, so you settled for trying to lighten the mood once more.

"They said I looked gorgeous as always."

Finally he turned to meet your gaze.

"Well, that sucks."

You gasped. "What the hell?!"

"Because-" He stopped your hand as you were about to smack his shoulder lightly. "Now we know they're right."

Your eyes met his, you swore your heart was suddenly pounding way too loudly. What was that about? Suddenly you were too aware of your position, when had you guys gotten so close? Your faces were mere inches apart, his hand was intertwined in yours and half of your body was atop his. This close up you could see the small scar under his left eye and the way his lashes lay ever so gently on his pretty doe eyes.

You took in a deep breath and released it slowly, closing your eyes and settling down. You needed a nice nap.

🌼

You stared wearily at the sight before you. You swore you recognized the man in front of you but also had absolutely no idea who he was.

Jungkook had left to go to the bathroom and had told you to wait at a table nearby but you'd left your post to order something for the both of you, and now you stood impatiently behind a man who seemed to not know what to choose. Abruptly he turned to look at you. He didn't seem much older than you, and was very handsome.

"What would you recommend?" He said shyly. His voice shocked you, causing you to stare widely at him just like a deer caught in headlights.

It was deep and melodic and seemed to pull you in.

You froze.

"Um…"

"I'm new to this kingdom and don't know what I should get." He awkwardly scratched the back of his head and looked away, a light pink coated his cheeks and as you looked up you noticed the tip of his ears were reddened as well. Although he towered over you in height, at that moment he seemed to make himself small and childlike.

That. Was. Absolutely. Adorable.

Immediately your eyes lit up and you sprung with life.

"Anything you get will be amazing!" You smiled brightly. "The chef here is the best in the whole kingdom."

"I don't doubt it. My father's friend recommended this place specifically for their baking abilities." He paused and met your gaze. "What will you be getting?"

His voice once again completely lulled you. It was so beautiful. The way he spoke was calling to you and it made you want to have hours of conversation with this man.

"I'm getting cinnamon tea with some mini strawberry puff tartlets."

"I'll get that as well then." He smiled at you and you nearly swooned.

Two dimples popped out as he smiled and turned to order, a slight frown overtook your face however when he turned to ask you how many tartlets you wanted.

"Uh, I'd like six?" Was he ordering for you?

"Okay." He turned to the cashier. "I'll take two cinnamon teas and nine mini puff strawberry tartlets." He smiled at the boy, who you recognized as Seungmin, you frequented this cafe, and reached in his pocket for his wallet.

What about Jungkook?

"Umm-" You were at a loss for words.

"Of course!" Seungmin grinned and rang up your total.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but could you please add one more tea and charge me for it." You smiled kindly at the boy and immediately pulled out your card.

The man beside you gave you a confused look.

"No, it's fine. I want to pay." You said to hopefully answer his internal question.

"I don't mind paying at all." He said. "If you wouldn't mind sir, take my card instead."

He offered the cashier his card and the poor boy stared at you both with panic.

"Umm…"

"Please take mine Seungmin." You smiled as you said his name. "He is new to town and I think this should be my treat."

Seungmin carefully reached for your card instead and then also grabbed the man's card.

"How about I shuffle them behind my back and whichever arm one of you chooses is the one who'll pay?"

You bit the inside of your cheek.

"That sounds fair." Both you and the man spoke up at the same time.

After a couple seconds of shuffling Seungmin gave you both an expectant look.

"Which arm do you choose?"

"Left."

"Right."

Your eyes flew to the man.

"Right."

"Left."

Again your eyes met incredulously.

"Rock, paper, scissors?" You said.

He nodded and you both immediately began the game. In the end you won and chose the right arm.

Seungmin swiped it and then handed you both cards back.

"Kim Namjoon?" You asked.

He smiled shyly once more. "That one's mine, I believe."

You handed him his card back as he handed yours as well.

"Princess!" You turned to meet the wide eyes of Jungkook.

"Oh hey Lieutenant-"

"You weren't at the table?" He said as he finally reached you and scanned your body for injuries.

"Oh yeah, I was getting us dinner. You're cool with strawberry tartlets rights?"

He straightened his posture and turned to stare at Namjoon.

"This is Kim Namjoon." You offered. "He is new to the kingdom so I recommended one of Chefs Felix's best dishes."

"Of course. Good evening Mr. Kim." Jungkook stood rigidly by you.

This wasn't going well.

"Could you please make six of those tartlets and two teas to go?" You asked Seungmin.

"Of course."

"Thank you so much. Please pass my greetings to Felix. I wish I could stay longer but I'm sure I'm needed for something." You then turned to Namjoon and extended your hand. "It was very nice meeting you, and I hope you enjoy your stay here. I truly wish our kingdom doesn't disappoint." You smiled brightly at him as you shook hands and then immediately pulled Jungkook away to sit back at the table he had asked you to while you waited for your order.

"What was that about?" You asked as soon as you were seated.

"I'm not supposed to leave you alone for long, I just panicked when I couldn't find you."

You laughed.

"I doubt that counts as a long time. Besides, I enjoyed my time."

Jungkook raised an eyebrow.

"The guy I was talking to was alright." You smiled and lay your head on the palm of your hand while you looked out at the setting sun. "He seemed cool."

"He's not from here you said?"

You nodded your head.

Kook looked around the café and spotted the man. He seemed to be fully enthralled in the book he was holding and didn't notice the glares Jungkook sent.

"Stop glaring, it's rude you know?"

"I don't know… I didn't like how he looked at you."

You frowned. "All he did was smile. I don't think that's a valid reason-"

"That's not what I mean y/n."

A small, mischievous smile spread across your face.

"Jealous?"

His eyes immediately left Namjoon's form and flew to yours.

"No!" You laughed at how loud he was. Looking around and apologizing for his outburst to the other customers, he turned to give you a small scowl. "Why would I be jealous of a random stranger?"

You simply shrugged and kept a smile on your face. He was jealous, you were sure of it.

[spoiledsplendid]

2020 Academy Awards Fashion Critique

BEST

Janelle Monáe - She rocked the red carpet in this custom Ralph Lauren silver gown. While staying true to her own style, this dress channeled the iconic Grace Jones. Janelle totally shone - but the necklace and jewels from Forevermore didn’t hurt. Her hair and makeup are perfection as always. The past few years Janelle has owned the red carpet and has become the one to watch. By the way, the dress is embellished with a mere 168,000 Swarovski crystals. 

Rebel Wilson - Old Hollywood glamour has never looked so good. Rebel stunned in this custom metallic gold dress by Jason Wu. Her hair and makeup perfectly matched the outfit. And while she might not have been nominated, she certainly was a winner!

Molly Sims - She is no stranger to the red carpet or runway - but more importantly, she knows what works for her. Molly totally wows in this Zuhair Murad couture gown. With it’s metallic and sequinned top and it’s flowy satin skirt, this dress highlights Molly’s best features. She finished the look with nude Christian Louboutins, a Judith Lieber clutch and Chopard ring. Hair and makeup are flawless and breezy. One of the best dressed by far!

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Gal Gadot - This stunning Givenchy Haute Couture gown showcases Gal so beautifully. The dramatic sheer lace top and dramatic pink ruffled skirt are just what the red carpet needed. Her hair looks incredible pulled back and I love the bright red lip. The statement necklace from Tiffany & Co. perfectly completed her ensemble. 

Mindy Kailing - I don’t always love Mindy’s fashion choices but she looks like Hollywood royalty in this Dolce & Gabbana canary yellow gown. It appears that some of the A-listers are beginning to warm up to D&G, but if I can look beyond the label, this one-shoulder sweetheart neckline dress is perfect for Mindy. It is perfectly tailored and makes her look like a million bucks. Speaking of a million bucks, think a bit higher. She is wearing over 135 carats of diamonds from Chopard - enough to warrant it’s own security guard. Love the hair but I would have gone with lighter make up. 

Charlize Theron - This Dior Haute Couture gown was perfect on Charlize. While I would have loved to see her in something more dramatic, I respect the style and the full look. I enjoy the one-shoulder detail and the sweeping train. I love the hair and the makeup and the showstopping necklace by Tiffany & Co.

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Scarlett Johansson - This might be my favorite look of the night. Nominated for best actress, she showed up as a winner. This Oscar de la Renta gown certainly turned heads. I especially appreciate the crystal draping atop the corset and champagne skirt. The dress was sexy and modern but still classic enough if she had won the award. Jewelry by Forevermark. 

Renée Zellweger - I was most excited to see what Renée would wear on the red carpet tonight. I knew it would be something simple and classic - but she brought the sparkle in this one-shoulder Armani Privé gown. As long as the dress doesn’t look bridal, white is a great choice for the red carpet. She kept the hair and make up simple and just added a few extra diamonds by David Webb.

Olivia Colman - She looked like a total winner in this velvet Stella McCartney dress with an asymmetrical cape. I love the keyhole details on her shoulders - it adds a structural interest that many dresses were lacking this year. Love her new blond pixie cut and her fresh make up. Shoes by Jimmy Choo.

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Kristen Wiig - This dress isn’t for everyone but I think this is the best Kristen has ever looked. This is Kristen’s fashion moment - she proved that she can rock couture in this daring Valentino dress with side cut-outs. The black opera gloves were perfect to bring the drama with this outfit. The ruffles are everything! The only thing I would have changed are the shoes - a black pump would have completed the look so much better. But I’m really being knitpicky. This is a total 10/10! 

Brie Larson - Brie is another actress that is unpredictable on the red carpet but I was relieved to see her in this gorgeous Celine gown. And while it could be a bit reminiscent of Gwyneth in 2012 (Queen of the Cape Dress), she stood out with over 13,000 Swarovski jewels, a dramatic neckline, and high slits. The light pink worked perfectly on her. Hair and makeup are flawless - not to mention the Bulgari jewelry.

BORING

Idina Menzel - Idina looked pretty in pink - pretty forgettable.  This J. Mendel dress failed to deliver any wow factor for this superstar. Love her light makeup and her 60+ carats of Harry Winston diamonds.

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Penelope Cruz - Penelope usually brings the drama to the red carpet but this Chanel halter-dress was such a snoozer. While I love the pearl belt, I’m not a fan of the oversized flower detail. She kept her hair and make up simple and looked beautiful as always. Please find a new stylist and bring your regular za-za-zoo!

Salma Hayek-Pinault - You notice how Salma went from Hayek to Hayek-Pinault? Yup - her husband is the Chairman and CEO of Kering - a luxury group that owns Gucci, Alexander McQueen, Balenciaga, and Yves Saint Laurent. So she literally could have ANY dress she wanted. And this is what she chooses for Hollywood’s biggest night? Yawn. While I will forget this Gucci dress, I am in love with her stunning bracelet from Boucheron.

Regina King - While Regina looks fine…that’s about as much credit as I can give her. This pink Versace dress lacks the punch and panache that Regina deserves.  Her hair and makeup are just ok but at least I can’t fault the Harry Winston jewels. 

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Florence Pugh - It might be Louis Vuitton, but it looks more like a bridesmaid dress than a red carpet look for a nominated actress. The colour is refreshing on the red carpet, but the dress is forgettable. Her hair and make-up and jewels are all lovely. 

WORST

Billie Eilish - I understand that Billie is young and wants to assert her style - but this is just such a wasted moment. You can look hip and not look like you live in a dumpster. Why Chanel allowed this is beyond me. This Chanel pantsuit is embellished with several Chanel brooches. She accessorized with as many pieces as she possibly could - from the fingerless gloves to the rings, scarves, and hair clips. 

Margot Robbie - Another Chanel-Crime. This vintage Chanel dress does nothing for Margot. I almost always love her fashion sensibility but this dress belongs on Sophie Loren. The caped sleeves scream matronly. The brooch in the centre is hideous. As for hair and make up, the lip is too bright for the dress and it’s the Oscars, you coulda splurged and touched up the roots. Just sayin’.

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Laura Dern - Armani Prive meets the O.K. Corral? This dress reads too saloon-girl for me. Is her next role in a spaghetti western? Hard pass on this black and pink gown. Sorry Laura but congrats on the win. 

Cynthia Erivo - All eyes were on Cynthia as she was nominated for best actress. She also performed a powerful number in front of the entire audience. Unfortunately she failed to deliver in this Atelier Versace number. There was just too much going on from the high slit, the cross strap, the mesh cut-outs, the heavy beading, the petal details and sweetheart neckline. Is this a couture gown or figure skating outfit? And the styling just made it worse…with her 9 rings and multiple earrings (courtesy of Piaget), it was just overboard. Shoes by Stuart Weitzman.

Natalie Portman - Did Natalie go goth? Is she attending a lavish funeral after the awards show? What a drastic departure to days gone by. Natalie showed up in this Dior Haute Couture gown? that left us all a bit puzzled. It was dark and well…sinister. Why oh why? Jewels by Cartier.  

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Saoirse Ronan - I always look forward to seeing what Saoirse is going to wear on the red carpet - but tonight I literally had to look away. What the hell? This Gucci dress is a train wreck. The colours don’t work well together. Peplums are so 4 years ago. From the peplum up, gorgeous. The rest is beyond hideous. Hair and make up, beautiful. Biggest disappointment of the night. 

Billy Porter - This had to be the ugliest outfit on the red carpet. Billy is a veteran and I want to see him slay on the carpet. This Giles Deacon Couture ensemble just looked dumpy. The top I could give a pass (though not formal enough for the event), but the skirt gave me a headache. Jimmy Choo boots underneath just killed any hope of glamour. Billy, I’ll be in NYC in June. Please let me take you shopping!

[doctortdesigns]

The Winter/Holiday collection from Vogue Patterns is here, and on first impression I’m like, “Ok Vogue, take my money!”  Of course, after taking the time to really comb through the patterns, I’ve calmed down a bit.  While there are a few patterns I would like to join my stash, I certainly don’t need to bring all of them home with me.  Still, there’s some fun stuff this release, so let’s take a look:

V1604 – Badgley Mischka.  I really love the back of this dress.  The detail is interesting and bold, but not overdone.  The juxtaposition of the bold details with the soft silhouette creates a very interesting gown.

V1605 – Badgley Mischka.  Vogue sneak peaked this on Instagram, and the close-ups of this outfit are gorgeous.  The skirt has such a dramatic flare, and the beading on the cuffs of the top are a fabulous detail.  Really classy holiday party look.

V1606 – Isaac Mizrahi.  Personally, I like a dress with a bit more waist emphasis, BUT I can totally understand the appeal of such a loose fitting design for a holiday party centered around feasting.  The sleeve ruffles are an interesting take on the current sleeve trend.  I’m still sort of over the trend on the whole, but, this isn’t the worst of the crazy sleeves, so it gets a pass.

V1603 – Isaac Mizrahi.  This is a cute combo for a holiday party.  The sleeve ruffle on the coat is very of the moment trendy, but the dress is a pretty classic cut that would work well for years to come.  The style itself could easily be made up in a more casual fabric for a cute summer look too, which makes this pattern pretty versatile.

V1602 – Paco Peralta.  I like this pattern.  The seaming is nice, and allows for lots of fit adjustments.  It’s a very classic style, but somehow feels like an oddly modern mash up of vintage and 80s inspired looks.  I don’t need it, but I like it.

V1600 – Bellville Sassoon.  Ok, I sort of have a terrible weak spot for all Bellville Sassoon patterns, and this one is no different.  LOOK AT THOSE CURVED SEAM DETAILS.  Gorgeous!  I’m obsessed.  I want, nay, need this pattern to join the collection.

V1607 – Tom and Linda Platt.  The pattern itself is pretty basic, with some asymmetric seams to add interest.  Love the use of the monochromatic fabric blocking to create visual interest on an otherwise simplistic look.

V1606 – Anne Klein.  I really like the style lines on that blazer; super sleek and modern but also quite classic and professional.  The pants are quite tight, but presumably stretchy?

V1609 – Zandra Rhodes. It’s so fluffy!  It’s pretty voluminous, but I somehow find the model photo oddly intriguing?  I don’t need it, but I don’t dislike it as much as I expected to based on the line drawing.

V9350 – Very Easy Vogue.  I really like this, but this is clearly a true wrap dress, which could be problematic to wear without a bit of flashing going on.  Especially with the dress overlap cut on a diagonal (see the line drawing).  It’s cute, but I don’t know if it is going to be worth potential wearing difficulties.

V9344 – Very Easy Vogue. Way too much sleeve.  I sort of enjoy of view A looks like a cape in the stiffer fabric though.

V9349 –  This wrap skirt brings all the drama!  I really enjoy this, it makes me think of a tango ballroom costume.

V9346 – Vintage Vogue circa 1947.  I really like this Vintage Vogue release.  The back pleats on the dress are a gorgeous detail.

V9345 – Vogue Easy Options Custom Fit.  When I saw the model photo I was like, ooooohhh no.  But the line drawing actually showcases several really classic shirt dress styles.  If you are looking for a really versatile shirtdress pattern, this could be a great option, especially with the Custom Fit cup sizing.

V1610 – Today’s Fit by Sandra Betzina.  The kimono style jacket has been super popular lately, and this design has some nice features with the collar and belt options.  I’d be more interested if I hadn’t picked up a few kimono patterns earlier this year.

V1608 – Koos van den Akker.  Without the fabric art elements, this is a pretty basic jacket.  But just look at that use of the forest fabric!  Stunning.

V9351 – Vogue Wardrobe.  Is it terrible to say I want this just for the jumpsuit?  Because I want this just for the jumpsuit.  It reminds me very much of the Rebecca Vallance jumpsuit, which I also loved.  To be fair, the jacket has a cool collar, and the dress isn’t half bad either.  But, really, it’s all about that jumpsuit.

V9342 – Claire Schaeffer Custom Couture Collection.  Claire Schaeffer’s patterns are renowned for their detailed instructions, so if you like this pattern, it would totally be worth looking into.

V9352 – Marcy Tilton.  If you like an unconstructed silhouette, these coats could be fun.  I find I’m liking the style much more in the printed fabrics over the solid.  The fabric overlap on the back of the pattern is quite interesting.  I’d love to peak at the construction on this pattern.

V9354 – Vogue Accessories.  Nothing super exciting, but if you are looking for a fancy scarf or wrap, Vogue’s got you covered.

V9343 – Very Easy Vogue.  Ok, so rational brain knows that having such a deep-V front neckline is not something I’d want to wear, yet, the rest of brain is like “oooh pretty want!”  I really like the look of this pattern – it’s simple, sexy, yet understated.  Do I think I could wear it as is?  No, not without inventing some super deep-V corset to sit under the rest of the dress.  But I could probably close up the neckline a bit and make it more boob friendly.  Do I need this pattern?  No.  But am I probably going to get it?  Yes.  Yes I am.

V9347 – Very Easy Vogue.  Too. Much. Sleeve.

V9348 – As drawn, I’d give this top pattern a pass, but I think in a really soft, floaty fabric this shirt pattern could be very pretty.  Hopefully we see some blogged versions because I’d really like to see this one made up on a person.

V1611 – Today’s Fit by Sandra Betzina.  I feel like this is sort of a lot of fabric to sleep in, but otherwise it’s fine.  The PJ pants look pretty quick to sew.

V9353 – Ron Collins.  Cute!  I love a puffer jacket for guys – it feels like a super practical style, and not too difficult to sew.  This pattern is definitely joining the stash.

And that’s it!  Going through it more thoroughly definitely let me get over the initial “ooh shiny” and be a bit more discerning in making my wish list.  Of course, it doesn’t mean a fair bit of pretty didn’t get on the wishlist.  Just, you know, not as much.  What did you all think?  Are you ready to grab a bunch of Vogue patterns to kickstart your holiday sewing?  Or do these styles all feel stiff, dated, and stuffy?  If you had a fancy holiday party to go to which pattern would you choose?  Are there any must-haves in this release, or do you give it all a big pass?  Feel free to discuss your thoughts in the comments!

Vogue Patterns Winter/Holiday 2018 #sewing #vogue #voguepatterns #winterholiday #sewingplans #patterns #fashion The Winter/Holiday collection from Vogue Patterns is here, and on first impression I'm like, "Ok Vogue, take my money!"  Of course, after taking the time to really comb through the patterns, I've calmed down a bit. 

[onebling-official]

How To Choose The Right Lingerie For Your Body?

Lingerie! Sounds familiar? One of those words we often hear; we think “we ” know the meaning, but we’re not sure. It’s a gray area or somewhere in between there. For the longest time, it was one of those words for me. What is lingerie and how different is it from your undergarments? What are the different types of lingerie? Did you know? If your answer to this is a Yes, then congratulations—we will discuss some basics and delve deep. No—Then you’re just a few scrolls away from knowing all about it. We’ve got this!

If anything lingerie is one of the most exciting ways of self-indulgence that every girl deserves—single or not! You’d be surprised to know what a tiny piece of clothing can do, considering that it is not even seen (except to your partner, maybe). It makes you feel good, happy and confident.

Let’s go over everything you need to know, and you’ll be well on your way to one happy shopping spree at the mall.

What is Lingerie? What Is The Difference Between Lingerie And Undergarments?

For starters, lingerie wear is an undergarment, but the reverse is not always true. Comfort is not the first thing that comes to my mind when I think of lingerie because it isn’t about that. It is meant to make you feel good, attractive and also sensuous. Wearing lingerie for your partner is cliched! Women buy and wear lingerie all the time, maybe not as often as they want to, considering the price but that has changed. The high prices are justified because of the fabrics used. They come in luxurious silk, chiffon, lace, and lycra. The designs are intricate and worth every penny you spend. I’d say we all deserve it and should go on a guilt-free trip as often as we can.

  Different Types Of Lingerie

1. Camisoles 

I don’t even know that Cami could be categorized as lingerie. Camis are more like a practical choice of lingerie. They are used as an everyday essential by most women—combining the slip and a bra, but also come in fancy options too. A fully laced cami with a matching panty makes an impressive set. It can be worn under your shirt when you go out, or tease your partner in the night. Either way, it’s a must-have in every woman’s wardrobe.

  2. Matching Sets

I don’t know about you but for me, matching lingerie is unique and rare. I usually do not have the time and patience, at least I used to think until I realized that it could instantly make you feel like a princess and lift your mood up. There’s something so sensual about them that I’d hate for you to miss. They might seem expensive, but they’re worth every penny you invest. If not always, have a few for rainy days (you know what I mean!).

Women always had a thing for corsets, because they magically reduce your waist size and camouflage any unwanted bulge. The tie-able lace that is used to fasten it intact enhances your hourglass figure further if you have one. Or gives it a nice curve for the not-so-hourglass figures as well. You can wear this as a regular top or cover it up with a sheer or transparent

dress that does not take away the look completely but hides it, just enough.

  3. Bustiers

A lingerie design which is not very different from the corset. However, the focus for this lies on uplifting the bust. It gives a curvy and firmness to the breasts and works more like a push bra. These come with eyes that can be hooked at the back to accentuate the shape further.

5. Nightgowns

Are you someone who just cannot sleep without comfortable clothing? Take it one step ahead and go with a gratifying lingerie nightgowns. They are flimsy, soft and sensuous. You can get these in many variants like short, long, backless, sleeveless, etc. It is a matter of choice, but every girl should own a couple of these at least to feel good if not for anything else. In fact, these can be addictive, try for yourself, and you will agree too.

6. Negligees

A total knock-out and something that never fails you. If you’re trying to shop for lingerie and not sure what might impress “him”? Go with this one. Even otherwise, it is uber sexy as the name suggests. It is a feather light garment that sits smoothly on your skin and feels just as good.

How To Find Your Body Shape?

Lingerie feels great inside-out. However, not everything might suit all of us. But, how to choose lingerie for different body types? It is important to be aware of your body type, and that becomes a pivot to choosing lingerie that fits and feels right. Believe me when I say that this can make all the difference to your shopping experience.

1. Hourglass

As a rule of thumb, a 36-24-36 is an hourglass figure, if those are your vitals then you straight up know that you have an hourglass figure. In other words, your shoulders and hips are of the same size, with a slender waistline. So wear lingerie that adds oomph to your already hot figure.

Lingerie Suitable For Hourglass Shaped Women

Anything really sits well with this body type and nothing can actually back-fire. However, the garter belt, teddy, and corset models will take it top-notch. You could also go with a high leg panty or a thong with a lace bra. Needless to say, the lingerie set is something that has to be a part of your wardrobe.

2. Triangle

A body type we die for, and this is the new fad. Big hips are a thing now and yes by now you’d know where I’m headed. Triangle shape just means that you have a wider hip structure and that it is broader than your shoulders.

Lingerie Suitable for Triangle Shaped Women

The attention for this body type is invariably at the hips. If you like it that way great; if not try something that steers the attention away and creates an illusion that it’s proportionate to the upper body. Try lacey negligee that has are flowing down below and are taut near your breasts. The bustier is something that will bring out the best in you by supporting your breasts and proportionately distributes attention. You could go with matching sets with a ruffled bra that creates an illusion. Another way to do this is wearing a bandeau that is straight and will make it feel like your shoulders and hips are at the same level.

3. Rectangle

Women who have everything on a straight line and no defined curves fall into this category. Your hips, shoulders, and bust are almost at the same level. There’s not a definite waistline, and most athletic-looking bodies can be categorized as rectangle shapes.

Lingerie Suitable for Rectangle Shaped Women

If you like anything that cinches at the waist, corsets will be a clear choice for you. They add much-needed curves and will look utterly sensuous. You could go with a garter belt or teddy if you have a lengthier torso. You can make-do a bigger bustline with a push-up type lingerie, something along the lines of bustier lingerie.

4. Inverted Triangle

A shout-out to all the broad shouldered women out there. If you’re reading this, you should know that this defines your body type. Your shoulders and bust line are wider than your hip width and can sometimes look athletic. The lingerie that you wear is more of a preference and which body part you choose to flaunt or cover up.

Lingerie Suitable for Inverted Triangle Shaped Women

Wear Lingerie with halter necks, and it’s a life hack. If you have a flatter bum, then go with something like the teddy that distributes the attention equally. Even bralettes and a matching lace panty or thong if you don’t mind might be your go-to. Go with matching cami sets that give you a relatively straight look

5. Round

It is pretty self-explanatory and as the name goes, this body type is rounded near the waist and has little or no definition. Your torso and upper body are much wider than your hips are. If you take your vitals, you will realize that there is not much of a difference. So, you could try lingerie that makes it all look proportionate.

Lingerie Suitable for Round Shaped Women

The negligee is one variant that both hides the chunks of your waistline and defines the bust line. These are taut at the bust and flowing from down below. If you’re anything like me, you will feel comfortable in these. Another option is the Teddy’s that will go just as well. Remember to try out dark colors as a beginner and if you’re not very comfortable with the idea of lingerie (yet). Or, try any lingerie you fell in love with and pair it with a pair of chemises or satin lingerie gowns that are both sexy and gives you coverage.

Final Words Before We Let You Go

If you are a newbie in the lingerie world, we suggest that you go to a physical store to get a professional fitting done before you buy them. The collections on the online store can be very exciting. However, get your basics first especially considering the cost of the lingerie.

Bra and lingerie need not necessarily be of the same size, so for starters do not fret over trying something that might seem out of size for you. Try a couple and see what you feel comfortable in because that is the basis of wearing lingerie.

For beginners, try and build your wardrobe with a combination of both lingerie and undergarment sets. Take it forward from there depending on your comfort and taste.

Do not shy away from trying anything over-the-top because this is something that is very intimate; it’s about you first. So, listen to your body, if it feels good, go for it.

Pay attention to the fabric, and do not venture into something you’re not sure of. The material needs to feel smooth, silky and sit well on your skin. Get one great piece instead of two of them on sale; these investments are not worth the compromise. Again, it’s for YOU!

If you’re in cold countries, pair up your lingerie depending on the season, especially if you choose to wear them to work or a party. Lace and other thin fabrics might not be a good idea for winters for obvious reasons.

The most important aspect is not to throw them in your washing machine. They need to be hand washed; otherwise they will lose shape and can look worn out.

Everybody is unique, and every body is different. It deserves the attention, pampering, and indulgence. Being aware of yourself is the biggest and the most important piece of this puzzle. It uplifts your soul like no other. Here’s hoping those clicks were worth it. Feel free to drop in a text if you have any questions and I’m happy to help. Until then love yourself and happy shopping!

by onebling

[chadpetersondatingblog]

13 DIY Couples’ Costume Ideas That Are Better Than Anything You Can Buy In A Store

I love Halloween. I love creepy things. I love parties. I love candy (but not candy corn, gross). And most of all, I love making things. So, it’s pretty much the perfect holiday for someone like me. I spend all year making little notes on my phone of good couples costume ideas and mentally engineering their creation so that by the time fall rolls around, I’m all set and ready to go. But let’s assume that, unlike me, you aren’t a neurotic Halloween lover and you don’t have a ton of DIY couples costume ideas in your phone. Don’t worry, you can have some of mine. Trust me, I’ve got plenty.

So, whether you prefer something cute, sexy, or nightmare-inducing, I’ve figured out how to put it on your bods. Yes, you could just run down to the local costume store, but that’s so boring! That’s how you end up at a party with everyone in the same Harley Quinn and Jack Sparrow costumes. Anyone can buy a costume at the store, but it takes a bit more effort and creativity to make it yourself. And really, don’t you and your partner deserve to win all the contests this year?

Here are some ideas to borrow, or at least to get your creativity flowin’.

1. Baby And Debora From Baby Driver

Giphy

This year’s coolest couple, hands down, are Baby and Debora from Baby Driver. If you have a partner who’s tough to talk into dressing up for Halloween, this is the couples costume he won’t be able to turn down. Who doesn’t want to be a bad ass get away driver? As a bonus, it’s actually really cool stuff you will want to wear year round.

For Debora, you’ll want to find a cute retro waitress dress and pair it with a sheepskin lined denim jacket. The Baby costume is just as easy: You just need the varsity style jacket, a white tee, black wayfarers, jeans, and black shoes. If you really want to complete the look, you can add a scar with with wax. Just make sure not to forget the earbuds!

2. The Fairly Odd Parents

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Want to be Wanda and Cosmo for Halloween this year? Your wish is my command. This one will take some minor fabrication, but I promise you are totally up for it. For Wanda, you will need a yellow tee, black pants, wings, and pink hair spray. Cosmo’s outfit is just a white button up shirt, black tie, black pants, green hair spray, and, of course, some more fairy wings. That just leaves their fairy crowns and wands. Time to get crafty. To create the crowns, you’ll need small headbands that will blend in your hair, a sheet of yellow foam, and some craft wire. To make the wand, you’ll need some wood dowels painted black, and you can use the leftover foam sheet to make the stars.

3. Yorkie And Kelly from Black Mirror

Netflix

Did you cry like a baby when Black Mirror’s San Junipero episode took home the Emmy for Outstanding Television series this year, too? Yeah, that’s because Yorkie and Kelly are everything, including this year’s queer girl couples costume goals. Unless you want to spend your next month trawling through a million thrift shops to find the perfect blinged-out jacket, the key is to just find modern pieces, which, when accessorized properly, give them an ’80s feel.

To channel Yorkie’s party girl vibe, you’ll need an embellished purple jacket, black corset top, and black harem pants. Top it off with a black oversized bow in the hair. To capture the adorable nerdiness of Kelly, pair a light blue sweatshirt with a pink collared shirt, khaki shorts, and don’t forget the wire-rimmed glasses. Cutest duo ever.

4. Cards Against Humanity

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Need a last minute costume that is actually awesome? Good news: This one only requires some foam boards and black and white paint pens! If you want to get more interactive, opt for chalkboards and erasable pens. Warning: That can get very dangerous as the night goes on and the drinks are flowing. Hmm, actually, that pretty much describes every game of Cards Against Humanity I’ve ever played, so it’s on theme!

5. Diana Prince And Steve Trevor From Wonder Woman

Warner Bros. Pictures

All I want in life is to be Wonder Woman. Is that too much to ask? Yes, yes, it is, because I don’t have the fabrication skills to create a breast plate. Now her disguise outfit… that’s something I can achieve. Was there anyone more dapper than Diana Prince and Steve Trevor as they made their way through the streets of 1910s London? Nope, and this is how you steal their style this Halloween.

This is not a warm-climate-appropriate costume. Go this route only if your Halloween is going to be on the chilly side. To get the Diana look, you’ll need a wool houndstooth coat, belted. Under the coat, you’ll need a white collared shirt, long skirt, and Victorian style boots. Oh, and don’t forget her sword. Steve’s costume is made of up layers: Start with a turtleneck sweater, topped with a brown leather vest and sheepskin lined coat. Pair all of this with a pair of dark khaki pants and black boots. Top it off with a navy brood hat to really nail the period costume.

6. The Purge

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Personally, I love a scary costume on Halloween, and what is scarier than the idea of all your friends and neighbors suddenly turning into homicidal maniacs for 12 hours every year? Plus, this costume is great if you’re a procrastinator, because it can be made up almost entirely of things you already have in your wardrobe. Your best bets are something sexy — or ironic — like lingerie, a prom dress, or a tux. To complete the look, you’ll need to make a mask, and there are great tutorials online on how to turn them into Purge masks. And of course, you’ll need your killing spree weapons of choice.

7. Pop Art

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Another last-minute costume that will still wow at any Halloween party is to turn the two of you into living pop art. There are some great tutorials on YouTube that will walk you through the makeup technique. To complete the look, think retro-inspired comic book clothing, and you can add speech bubbles with a headband, craft wire, and some paper. One last bit of advice: I highly suggest a few practice run throughs before hand. Otherwise your costume might be a living Pinterest fail instead.

8. Dipper And Mabel

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Is it creepy if your couples costume is made up of a brother and sister? Nah, not when it’s Dipper and Mable. They’re hardly the Lannisters, if you know what I’m sayin’. Anyway, moving on. Here’s how to become Gravity Falls’ greatest mystery solvers. For Dipper, you’ll need an orange t-shirt, blue vest, white socks, black shoes, and grey shorts. To complete the look, you’ll also need his signature hat, and to create that you need a blue trucker hat and some fabric paint to add the little blue tree. You might as well get the whole fabric paint kit, because you’re going to need a few more colors to create Mabel’s rainbow and star turtleneck. The rest of her costume is easy; it’s just a denim skirt, white knee socks, and some black ballet flats. Oh, and her headband too, of course. Cryptids of the Northwest will shiver when they see you coming.

9. Ellie And Grant From Jurassic Park

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You know who were an awesome couple? Ellie and Grant from Jurassic Park. They were smart, adventurous, and totally went toe-to-toe with prehistoric monsters… and won! Total couples goals. Yes, I know they weren’t together in the sequels, but let’s just make a pact to pretend they never happened, OK? Good. Moving on.

Here is how you can become Ellie and Grant for Halloween. Spoiler alert: Brace for khaki. For Ellie, you’ll need khaki shorts, a blue tank top, a pink button up (tied at the waist), hiking boots, and grey socks. For Grant, khaki pants, a denim shirt, a red bandana tied at the neck, hiking boots, and top it off with a wide brimmed fedora. Oh, and some dinosaur props really tie it all together.

If your boo isn’t really a “Grant type,” there’s always the doctor of chaos himself, Jeff Goldblum’s Ian Malcom. Just sayin’.

10. Hook And Tinker Bell

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Who wants to be Peter Pan and Wendy when you can be Tink and Hook? They have all the best accessories anyway. I dunno, I ship ’em. To create a cool Captain Hook, you need a red blazer, white blouse, a hook, and pirate captain’s hat with feathers. To get your Tinker Bell on, you’ll want a green tulle dress and fairy wings. Simple and cute.

11. Pennywise And Georgie From It

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Did you see It yet? Of course you did — everyone has. Thats because it’s scary as hell. I had nightmares for two nights after I saw it that Pennywise was peeking in my window. How messed up is that? Anyway, that also means it’s going to be a fantastic couples costume if you want to terrorize everyone else at the party. What else is Halloween for, right? The Georgie costume is easy; all you really need a is a hooded yellow rain coat, rain boots, and maybe a paper boat. To create your Pennywise, you’ll need a men’s white ruffled shirt, neck ruff, and pirate style pants. Add red pompoms down the front and on the toes of the shoes. Top it off with a red wig, killer clown makeup, and a red balloon. Why? Because they float. They all float.

12. Nasa And The Stars

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I love this couples costume, because what is more “meant to be together” than a NASA nerd and the galaxy? It’s sweet and clever and probably mostly already in your closet. Don’t lie — we all bought a galaxy dress in the last few years. Now you get to pull it back out and be the cutest couple at the party. For your astronomy nerd costume, you’ll just need a NASA tee, some nerd glasses (or add tape to yours), and suspenders are a nice touch. The stars really aligned for this costumes. Eh? Nudge, nudge.

13. Rick And Morty From Rick And Morty

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You’re gonna wubba-dubba-dub-love this costume idea! Want a reason to love Rick and Morty, I mean besides the fact that it’s just stone cold genius? This season they decided to implement gender parity in the writer’s room, and the show has never been better. Plus, when internet jerks decided it would be awesome to doxx those writers, creator Dan Harmon publicly smacked them down. Awesome. OK, now that you are pumped to celebrate all things Rick and Morty, here’s how to achieve the look. For Rick, you’ll need a lab coat, light blue shirt, khaki pants, a wig, and his trusty portal gun. Morty’s costume is a yellow shirt and jeans, but I

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