#i pretty much acted like a cat bringing its owner a gift but the gift was fucking weird vosim yankovic (/pos)

[arsen1cs4ng0]

little shit /pos (i have ms paint again ^__^) [vosim jink belongs 2 @hebezunet]

[randoimago]

I got BG3 request in my head for sometime. Um how would Astarion, Halsin, Gale, and Shadowheart react to a s/o or a tav that has a dog that fights along side with them like a tibetan mastiff, or a Akita, or maybe some other breed that is known to be made as guard dogs and protective of their owners? Maybe the dog more or less tolerates the LIs but still keeps an sharp eye on them. (Especially Astarion XD)

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3

Character(s): Astarion, Gale, Halsin, Shadowheart

Note(s): I have watched videos on the LIs reacting to Scratch and Astarion's reactions always kill me (and make me cry the most). I'm happy to write this for you!

WARNING: Mentions of Dog Being Injured in Combat

Astarion

Considering his interactions with Scratch, he'd also act very indifferent when it came to your dog. Sure, it's a great meatshield, but it's a stinky animal.

Astarion is constantly telling you to just leave your dog at camp, acting like it gets in the way and is a nuasance, but he just doesn't want to see it being hit by a spellcaster or shot with an arrow. If ANYTHING bad happens to this dog then he'll lose it.

Honestly offended that your dog is indifferent to him. As if he hadn't been collecting the bones of your enemies to gift to the furry mutt. Very rude.

Gale

He's more of a cat person, but he loves you so he doesn't mind your dog. Although, he can't help remarking that your dog knows he likes cats considering how your dog is very indifferent to the wizard.

Gale makes sure to give your dog some good treats and headpats when he goes to spend time with you. He knows how much you and your dog have been through and he's going to thank the doggo.

Okay, but while Gale is more of a cat person, he can very much appreciate how pretty your dog is. He insists on giving your dog baths to keep its coat shiny and not bloodstained as many battles tend to leave you all.

Halsin

Oh Halsin absolutely loves your dog. It's a very strong breed and the gooddest boy/girl (besides Scratch) and he would love to cast a Speak with Animals to speak to your protector.

Your dog being indifferent towards Halsin does cause him to chuckle a bit. He promises that he'd never think of stealing you away from your precious companion and instead thanks your pupper for keeping you safe for so long.

Halsin enjoys wrapping you in one arm while his other is brushing your dog. The last thing he (and you) want are your dog having mats in their fur due to all the constant travel and battling you all somehow end up in.

Shadowheart

Like Astarion, she is also very iffy about you bringing your dog into combat situations. She understands that your dog is very loyal and keeps you safe, but she worries about something going wrong.

You can't always prepare for when someone wants to stop talking and switch to stabbing and she'd hate for your dog to get in the way. She knows your dog is indifferent to her, but she really hopes your dog also knows that she will keep you safe while the little guy is safe at camp.

Besides that, she does try to pet your dog and give the little guy plenty of loving too. Your precious dog will get all the praise for the goblins it ripped apart for you.

[justporo]

Tokens of Appreciation

Astarion likes to bring you little gifts and presenting them to you in his overly dramatic way and little bit of playful banter (that he totally didn't make all up on his way home to you).

MASTERLIST | AO3

Author's Note: Written for the "Gifts" prompt of the BG3 Winter Holiday challenge. I like the idea of just showering a loved one with random gifts and being like "this made me think of you" - and also I imagine Astarion could be pretty cute and loving in a genuine relationship with doing stuff like this (albeit insufferably sassy, lol)

Pairing: Astarion/GN!Tav (You) Warnings: none Wordcount: 1,1k ~~~

Throughout winter time Astarion brought you presents. Little trinkets or a sweet treats (accompanied by him saying “a treat for my sweet” and a wink while you act like you’re going to have to throw up from his cheesiness), a single blossom of a flower besting the ice and the snow or maybe a bottle of wine the two of you could share together. It almost had the musings of a cat bringing its owner “gifts” - but you were happy that yours were much more delightful than what a feline predator would have brought in. He didn’t tell you where he would get these small tokens of appreciation - and you didn’t ask. That was part of the magic of this little game. Though, you had the distinct feeling that many of these weren’t acquired under explicitly lawfully good circumstances. But to the hells with that, you were a former thief and he a rogue, what else was new?

It had become a habit for him that whenever he went into the city to run some errands that he would grab a little something for you as well. You had dared to become accustomed to the sweet little gestures and were excited anytime you knew he’d return with a little surprise for you.

The vampire meanwhile had found he enjoyed this way of showing you a bit of admiration: a sign of thinking of you, making the time to grab something and show you some love - all without him having to give anything of himself up. Rather, it even gave him something as well: whenever he saw how your face started to beam with love and admiration, your eyes lighting up, he felt how his own chest felt lighter, warmer and a telltale smile stole onto his lips.

A naive fool might’ve called that love. Astarion counted himself among such fools when it came to you - if exclusively so.

And then he made a show of it each time too. Like when he brought you a flower that was magically frozen in a sphere of ice.

Astarion came into the kitchen where you had been preparing some dinner for yourself still fully clothed from going out. The way he’d sauntered into the room had already told you that he had a little something planned and was infinitely proud of himself - he was terribly predictable sometimes.

When he cleared his throat to get your attention you had obediently put down the vegetables you’d been currently cutting and turned around to him, leaning casually against the counter. The vampire had been waiting with a smug grin, his arms still by his sides so the cloak was fully covering his form.

“My sweet darling, I have something for you,” he said and leaned a little closer in a playful sort of way.

You immediately joined his little back and forth that you already were well accustomed to. Placing your hand on your chest as if asking ‘for me?’ you made a delighted “Oh?” and smiled at him.

With a swift movement the vampire sent one side of his cloak flying, revealing his hand under it which held a shiny sphere. Dexterously, he let the perfect, transparent sphere roll over his wrist and down his arm. And just before the ball fell to the ground he let it smoothly wander onto his other arm. With a quick shrug of his shoulder he made the shiny thing roll up and with a flick of his wrist he elegantly caught it and then offered it to you with a little bow.

“May I present to you, my love, a magically frozen blossom. The height of its existence forever caught in magically eternal ice. Beautiful if ice cold - almost like you, my dear,” he presented the gift to you, still in his little bow before you. You could see the twitch of his eyebrows and the corners of his mouth. Must’ve taken him the whole way home to come up with all of this.

You took the shiny sphere from him - immediately intrigued by its beauty and shininess. It was almost as if your history as a thief had permanently altered your brain to be drawn to shiny, glittery things; as if you had become a little magpie.

The sphere was merely cool in your hands, the ice encasing a wonderfully bright red blossom that immediately made you think of summertime. You turned the beautiful trinket in your hands admiring its beauty when, finally, Astarion’s words registered with you.

You pursed your lips and crossed your arms over your chest, still holding onto the icy sphere. The vampire grinned smugly at you - he’d been waiting for this moment.

“Astarion, dear, I did not just hear you call me frigid, did I?,” you had asked indignantly. The vampire grinned broader in response, putting even his fangs on display.

“Maybe I just called you cool, love,” he replied, sauntering over to where you were still leaning against the kitchen counter.

“Or - maybe,” you countered as Astarion leaned to you, placing one of his arms on the counter, “you just called me chilly.”

The vampire clicked his tongue and pouted: “My heart, you think so negatively of me. I would never dare to call you cold to your face.” He tried to stay serious but a smug grin crept onto his lips, making one corner of his mouth twitch. Meanwhile he leaned in a little closer. Seemingly he was convinced he’d soon be the winner of your little banter and would receive a kiss for all his efforts.

You though weren’t done playing.

“I’d hope so, Astarion. I really hope so. Because that would be so rich coming from a walking and talking corpse whose body heat can’t rise above room temperature”, you replied tongue in cheek as you stayed unimpressed by Astarion craning his neck to reach for you for a kiss.

When the vampire took in your words, he was taken aback. He stopped moving in, his eyes widened while his mouth had fallen open. Then his expression immediately changed into an amused and proud grin.

“My gods, dear,” Astarion said with a little chuckle, still grinning proudly at you.

“Alright,” he then said after staring at you for a bit longer, “I guess this burn has just proven that you’re anything but cold.”

You lifted your chin up and grinned triumphantly at him and Astarion quickly stole a little peck on your lips before he went back to the hallway to take off his cloak.

“Good! But if you’re still not convinced I can show you some heat later on”, you shouted after your vampire and were gifted with a genuine laugh.

Tag list: @spacebarbarianweird @sunfire-ancunin @tragedybunny @dependsonthedream @tallymonster @magazzne @micropoe10 @aoirohi @my-bunny-prince @lumienyx @fayeriess @darlingxdragon

[illusionlock]

Actually. Let me spell out the relationships between Bulwark and the other contenders rn Holy fuck this is long though

Glass Joe - Bulwark ADORES him, thinks he's adorable, which is generally seen as pretty weird considering Joe is like middle aged LMFAO but it's not a negative attention and Bulwark is very kind to him in general which is not all thaaaaaat usual for him so Joe is appreciative although he does find it strange. Bulwark would kind of be hesitantly touchy-feely with Joe and Joe's not someone who particularly minds but he gets very bashful so it's kind of difficult to not make a scene about it so Bulwark refrains in general but just really likes him a lot.

Von Kaiser - Bulwark doesn't have so much of a bias towards him but he twinges a soft spot in his brutish heart and Kaiser doesn't really seem to care or notice how Bulwark feels and acts towards him? It's like, Bulwark kind of sort of wants hugs that last too long with him but that feels like a distant wish. Kaiser would probably need to be told upfront and like hell is Bulwark doing that for him. Probably leaves him odd little gifts like a cat bringing in dead things for its owner.

Disco Kid - These two get up to TROUBLE like BADLY. They gossip. They're always in on each other's jokes. They have movie nights. They are always texting. It's honestly kind of funny to most of the group that they get along because Bulwark's unkempt and rough outward presentation clashes hard with the slightly feminine, graceful and cool persona of Disco Kid but they're just silly guys and they like gay stuff. Disco Kid probably has to do Bulwark's nails because by god Bulwark is terrible at that.

King Hippo - The two don't really mind each other. Bulwark mimics Hippo's dislike of speaking so they don't really talk, but they do appreciate their mutual lack of boundaries so you could probably catch them laying like they've been murdered on top of each other fast asleep. If Bulwark doesn't like a snack his first instinct is to give it to Hippo.

Piston Hondo - These two kind of actually actively dislike each other. They both think the other is ANNOYING and should SHUT UP but Piston is too polite to ever voice that outside of passive-aggressive proverb-speaking and Bulwark doesn't like to pick fights with people who won't fight back. They do KIND OF benefit from this mutual dislike though?? In the sense that they like to spar and are pretty fair about the whole thing and will compliment each other's fighting prowess but they're not people who could be comfortable roommates. God forbid.

Bear Hugger - Pretty similar to King Hippo in the sense that they're nap buddies but these two are always affectionately tussling and Bulwark likes to use Bear Hugger as a tree to climb on if he's bored. They like to cook together too. They grill stuff up you know how it is. They bite each other and pretend to eat each other for fun. Because they're silly, and friends.

Great Tiger - Bulwark holds a lot of respect for Great Tiger mainly because of Tiger's attitude and how collected he seems a lot of the time. They play chess together. The matches draw on for AGES and usually end up with Bulwark quitting but it's still a fun pastime for the both of them. I doubt they'd like spending idle time around each other though. I feel Great Tiger would think of Bulwark as just generally Loud which isn't something he likes.

Don Flamenco - CONSTANTLY obnoxiously play-flirting. It's kind of disgusting. It's like some kind of stupid competition between them to be the flirter and not the flirtee, to the point of annoyance. No one can tell if it's a joke and if there's one thing these two like doing more than messing with each other, it's messing with other people. It's kind of miserable.

Aran Ryan - Good god, it's horrid in here. Aran was kind of completely resentful of Bulwark at first because of the whole usurping him thing and that tends to linger even today but they have this stupid pointless rivalry that means nothing to them but they keep it up for public appearances anyway?? They do NOT want to admit their feelings unless it's a "joke" and no way in hell they are lovey-dovey. Absolutely not. But if either of them cry it's going to be exclusively around each other and they both know each other's worst secrets and wouldn't dare tell anyone else out of sheer care for the other. Aran is always suspiciously concerned about Bulwark but acts as if it's a business thing and that facade is surprisingly hard to break through. The other contenders are SURE they're lovers but literally can never prove it to themselves and all feel insane for thinking it.

Soda Popinski - These two act like they've been in jail together. They're generally not buddy-buddy but they do like to share a drink and Soda is also prime climbing material for Bulwark. If they're having a good jolly alcoholic time you'll probably see Bulwark perched atop Soda's shoulder. Often they don't have the patience for one another but they'll share tastes in literature occasionally.

Bald Bull - These two are chiiiiiiiiiiiiiill. Like, sit in a sauna together for hours kind of chill. Fall asleep drooling on top of each other chill. Mutual massages and that kind of stuff. Not particularly loverly, it's a very platonic bond, but definitely evidently a deep one. Very few boundaries. They'd share showers and baths without worrying about it. No need for the towel. Cuddle naked for no good reason other than they felt like it. And it's not even sexual in any way. It's kind of awesome.

Super Macho Man - Originally mutual annoyance turning into friendliness little by little. Bulwark actually really loves when Macho treats him like a scruffy underling and while he might complain about it aloud he's always coming back to see if Macho needs anything or whatever. Macho is pretty appreciative of the fact that a fellow contender voluntarily wants to be around him so he's got a bit of a bias towards Bulwark but he's still just kind of his usual annoying self. And Bulwark is entertained by it.

Mr. Sandman - Sandy and Bulwark are kind of mutually respectful but Sandy has a little bit of distaste for Bulwark. It's not big enough to be a point of contention but Sandy will often take the side that opposes Bulwark in petty arguments or anything. He does genuinely care for Bulwark though because well Sandy is a nice guy. And Bulwark is appreciative. Would feel comfortable enough to voice that appreciation, even.

Little Mac - Little Mac being Little Mac he's immediately attached to Bulwark and Bulwark can't say he's not attached to Mac in turn. Mac is just too nice to be anything but friendly towards so Bulwark doesn't even try to be rude. Being world champ while Bulwark is a contender means they don't often see each other and they rarely see each other one on one but they're chill. No problem. Bulwark respects Mac.

Doc Louis - Doc is incredibly worried about Bulwark at every turn and Bulwark is a little annoyed by this but secretly loves the attention and kind of needs that stabilising help. Talking to Doc often makes Bulwark feel better about anything that's been messing up his day and Doc's never not noticed if Bulwark is having a bad day. Bulwark would defend him with his life and they're barely even proper friends.

[infernalrevenge]

Hello, hello! I was wondering if I could possibly request your take on Reader and each of the Dimitrescu Daughters with how they show affection? Nuzzles, kisses, hugs/snuggles, terms of endearment, gifts, nsfw, etc. One big fluff-ball. Just bury me in the warm fuzzy. Thank you!

This is excellent timing, anon friendo because I had been thinking of making a Love Languages Headcanon List for some time now, so this is a great way to start on that! I hope this satisfies your mushy fluffy warm fuzzball desires (that I kept relatively PG) :P

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Bela Dimitrescu

Bela felt that she had a reputation to uphold as the eldest daughter of the Dimitrescu family, ever so meticulous yet also eager to please. But she does know her boundaries.

More often than not, she finds herself busy with her mother in helping run the business, hoping to one day become a proper heir. I mention all this so you know her situation -- she's a working gal and you gotta respect that.

However, she is not one to leave her loved ones hanging. The best way she shows her love is by spending quality time with you, doing things that you might enjoy. It gives her a chance to better get to know her love.

Of course she would have her way as well, doing activities she liked such as art, music, and more. You two might even try something new to the both of you, just for some added thrill.

It doesn't always have to be "something" to do though, she's more than happy to just simply be in the same space as you while you do your own thing. That counts as "doing something together", right?

You could be reading a book on one corner of the room and she could be reviewing some important notes on the bed, but you two are just so comfortable in the quiet space you've made for yourselves that it feels like you two are side-by-side.

She just likes to know you're there, your presence alone is a great source of comfort to her. She loves to see you happy and content, especially knowing it's because she's around. Once you get into it, there is no such thing as an awkward silence between the two of you.

I imagine she's not that big on initiating physical affection, but she would be hard pressed to deny you anything. From something as simple as holding her hand, to spooning and cuddling, to a full-on make out session -- all you have to do is ask. She's more than happy to deliver.

Her favorite position is being the big spoon in bed, finding a lot of comfort in knowing that you are in her grasp, safe and sound. She also enjoys planting a few kisses on your shoulder and neck in an attempt to rouse you from slumber.

While she was still courting you (because I like to imagine she's a bit of an old-fashioned romantic, but she would have courted you regardless of your gender), she would often bring you gifts. They weren't extravagant, but they were definitely meaningful, and often related to things you two had talked about in the past.

She didn't use pet names very often but she will call you "love" on occasion, especially if there was a chance you would call her that in return. She may not openly admit it but she just melts every time you call her that -- made it feel like having a crush on you all over again.

Even though she may seem distant on the outside, Bela is truly a woman who makes the most of her time with people she cares about. You are no exception to that, and she wants that to be known to you as much and as often as possible.

Cassandra Dimitrescu

Cassandra, much like her older sister, believes she too has a reputation to uphold within the family. Can't have her be seen going soft for just anyone.

But uh, plot twist: Girl just wants to be loved, and she doesn't even know it.

In private, she really really loves physical affection. She shows her love by clinging onto you as tightly as possible, melding so closely to you that it becomes hard to tell where her body ended and yours began.

She loves pressing her cheek and ear against your chest to hear the calming beat of your heart, the warmth of your skin just under her fingertips, and her head tucked right under your chin while you two lay in bed together.

Truthfully, she started doing this when you first got together because she enjoyed how flustered you seemed when she basically had herself wrapped around you. But over time, the both of you realized just how much she liked being this close to you too. You teased her for it once and she shut you out of your own room for a while. (She only let you back in because she suddenly missed cuddling you.)

This was a trait that kind of carried over from her hunting instincts, but she was very observant of others -- their tics, habits, routines, and all the like. She took notice of a lot of things other people did, didn't do, and couldn't do. It made her very attentive to her loved ones.

This manifested in the form of performing acts of service. Toward you, it ranged from simple things like keeping objects that were usually out of your reach to a more manageable height (either by her own action or an order to a servant) to helping you relax after a long and tiring day, to even performing your chores for you if she knew you were having a hard time with them.

Anything that she could help with to make herself useful, she would do. She wanted her loved ones to move around comfortably and without much worry, and she would take on that burden if that was what it took.

Granted it didn't necessarily mean she did well in these endeavors, but the effort did not go unnoticed. And you would never see the girl try to half-ass anything -- once she started on a task, you bet your sweet ass she was going to get it done too.

Her terms of "endearment" were very teasing and, out of context, could be downright insulting. You would never hear anything so generic as "baby" or "sweetie" (unless she was being condescending.) "Little shit" (affectionate) was more her speed.

If you also called her nicknames with a similar amount of creativity, she would return it with the same enthusiasm. She didn't take those things to heart anyway. If insults were a love language, this would be one of hers.

Cassandra is a little rough around the edges when it comes to love and intimacy, but she loves so fiercely. It's like a fire, raging on the more you feed its maw -- the only difference is that this fire would never die out.

Daniela Dimitrescu

Daniela is the most affectionate and most likely to be a hopeless romantic in the family. She always daydreamed of having a "knight in shining armor" of her own, but honestly she'll take anyone who would love her for herself.

Definitely the type to show off her wonderful significant other, either "subtly" through a bit of PDA, or more overtly through a lot of PDA and more grand gestures of love. Just let her do this, she has so much love to give and she needs that energy to go somewhere.

Even in private spaces, she would never let go of your hand if she had her way. Trying to separate from her when she wasn't in the mood would get you the "kicked puppy dog" treatment from her. It's not her fault you were so warm and nice to be around.

She loves being the little spoon in bed. There's just something reassuring about having a warm presence right behind her, your arms wrapped around her middle. You could even kick a leg on top of her waist -- all she wants is to get as close to you as she possibly can.

When you're working on a desk and sitting on a chair, she will inevitably sit on your lap and snuggle up against you while you try to do whatever it is you're doing. No matter how many times she promises that "you won't even know she's there", it's kind of hard to ignore the way she just buries her face into your neck and the little snores coming out of her if she falls asleep like this.

Calls you very cheesy and almost strange pet names like "honey pie" and "sweetie baby boo". You're never sure if she actually meant them or was messing with you because of her tone, but you can tell she was always amused by your reaction to them, which was part of the reason she kept saying them.

She did also have an inner poet though, so she may suddenly pull lines like "the moon to my night" that would make you stumble and wonder what had possessed your girlfriend. And then you would remember how much she enjoyed reading romance novels, so it made more sense.

Sometimes she'll pull them out early in the morning right as you two were just waking up, limbs entangled with the other's. Then you'd hear her call you "light of my life" in her deep sleepy voice, and you just have to hide the big goofy smile on your face behind a pillow or something.

She also loves to give you gifts, mostly because she liked how your face would light up whenever you received one. Oftentimes, they are little trinkets that remind her of you that she spotted one day and thought to give to you. Kind of like a cat presenting a dead mouse or bird to its owner, but not as gross.

She says "I love you" and any similar declarations pretty often, but the words never lose their meaning. Just know that she always says them with her whole heart, regardless of the tone she takes on when she does.

She also enjoys doing random acts of affection because she likes seeing how you react to them, whether you get all blushy and a little embarrassed, or you return them in kind. Either way, she is very happy and it gives her the warm fuzzies when you play along.

Like I said, Daniela just has so much love to give, and she would be so happy to see that energy enthusiastically returned. Just give her a chance and you'll never have to doubt her feelings for you.

[id-rather-be-an-outsider]

Angel From Ymir

Reiner Braun

word count: 1418

summary: Reiner comes across a kitty. kitty decides Reiner is his person. this is Reiner’s written experience.

tw: mentions of depression + ptsd. cute cuddliness and Reiner being adorable.

a/n: cats are cute and well-suited for many lifestyles! but please adopt responsibly and don’t take on a cat unless you’re ready and financially able to do so! please remember: 1) keeping your cat indoors is the ONLY way to prevent them from being hit by a car, stolen, attacked by other animals or exposed to diseases! 2) be careful and do your research and consult your cat’s vet before giving your cat a flea treatment! some brands cause seizures that can kill your cat or shorten their lifespan severely! protecting your cat from fleas and other sicknesses should NEVER cost a cat their life! 3) declawing a cat is NOT taking away their fingernails, it’s taking away their FINGERS! cats need their claws to climb and declawing them is inhibiting them from doing what they were born to do! 4) if a cat can reach it, they can wreck it, and that’s on you, not the cat, and that’s on PERIOD! if you have items that you want to keep safe 100% of the time then keep them AWAY!!! you can’t tell a cat to not be a cat, but you CAN tell YOURSELF to be a responsible cat owner!

Entry 1 - Monday

I’m not all that sure what I’m doing. Pieck gave me this, and suggested journaling to help me. She said there’s no wrong way to do this but I’ll probably fuck it up like everything else, so here goes. I uh... had a pretty average day today. Full of planning, saluting, groveling to Marleyans while they called me a devil, and pretending like I don’t hate myself and hate existing. I can tell Gabi is worried about me. Nothing out of the ordinary at this point. A cat followed me home, a yellow tabby. Cats are a rare sight nowadays. They were skinny.

Entry 2 - Tuesday

The cat was sitting outside my door when I left today. It rubbed up against my legs when I was locking my door, and made a noise that sounded like a tiny motorcycle. I think it’s called purring. It followed me to work, and it followed me back home again. I feel bad that it’s so skinny.

Entry 3 - Wednesday

I set out food and water for the cat today when I left. Just some sardines I had sitting in my cupboard. The food was finished and the cat was there waiting for me when I got home. It meowed at me until I pet its’ head.

Entry 4 - Saturday

I had a nightmare last night. Not uncommon for me. Today was my day off, and when I woke up in the morning I heard a scratching noise at the door. Turns out it was the cat, because when I opened the door it ran in and sat in my reading chair like it owned the place. I guess it’s here to stay now, because it runs every time I try to grab it, and it’s not really scratching anything up, so... I don’t know. I moved the food and water bowl inside.

Entry 5 - Sunday

Second day off. I spent the day reading. The cat came and napped in my lap. I fell asleep at one point, too. What? The cat was warm. And the sun was shining on us through the window.

Entry 6 - Thursday

I wish we could take afternoon naps at work. The cat followed me to work again. Pieck saw and asked me about it, so I told her what I told you. She said the cat picked me, whatever that means. I’m not really an animal person so I don’t get why. When I got home, there was a dead bird on my doorstep, and the cat was licking its’ chops. Kinda disgusting.

Entry 7 - Friday

Today I woke up to a crow on my doorstep. This cat is crazy. I asked Pieck about it, she said cats bring gifts to their masters. Some gift, if you ask me. Another observation: cats like boxes.

Entry 8 - Sunday

Something peculiar happened. I had a nightmare, but when I woke up, the cat was there kneading on my chest, licking my nose and rubbing their face against mine. They haven’t left my side yet. Literally. When I took a shower they just sat on the toilet seat lid next to it, and every time I’ve sat down today they’ve climbed in my lap and purred really loudly, rubbing their head against my hands when they could. It’s almost like they could sense my unease. It feels... calming. I usually write at the end of the day but the experience made me want to take note.

Entry 9 - Friday

I’ve missed a couple days, to sum them all up: I go to sleep with the cat under the blankets and wake up with them curled up under my armpit or in the crook of my neck. Today they brought me a squirrel. Their presents are getting to be terrifying, but also normal. They brought me a couple rats the past few days, too.

Entry 10 - Monday

I’m getting this heathen a collar. I woke up to them holding a goose twice their size in their mouth, and the poor creature wasn’t even dead. I had to put it out of its’ misery.

Entry 11 - Tuesday

I came home to find the cat napping in my untouched potatoes. I think I’m gonna call him Potato.

Entry 12 - Tuesday

I think the collar worked. Between the bell and his tags jingling, Potato must scare off every animal in sight because he hasn’t caught anything in a week. Or maybe I’m just not seeing it and he’s been eating his catches after my last reaction. He’s been getting a little fat. I’m worried I’m feeding him too much, I’ve been refilling his bowl every time I saw it empty, which is about twice a day. How much do cats normally eat?

Entry 13 - Saturday

Potato’s not acting normal. He’s been meowing a lot, which is cute, but he also hasn’t been moving as much. And he’s been eating even more than he usually does. I just hope he’ll be okay. Cats aren’t usually kept as pets anymore since they’re so scarce, so no veterinarian will take him. They all keep laughing at me when I tell them my problem. Why is it funny to them? They’re being rude and cruel. If anything happens to Potato I don’t know what I’ll do. Potato is my best friend. Even when he steals my dinner from time to time, I don’t get mad at him. I talk to him about my day like he can hear me, and I tell him about the things I’ve experienced and it really feels like he listens, because every time I get to a bad part and start panicking or crying he’s there, helping me calm down. I haven’t had nightmares even half as often anymore and when I do, he’s there on my chest when I wake up, making me feel better. I can’t call out of work to stay with him. I’m worried he might die. If he does, I’m just glad I have these last two days off. So I can say goodbye.

Entry 14 - Wednesday

He’s getting worse. He’s been laying in the same spot in my closet for awhile. I moved his food and water there and brought blankets and his favorite box to make it cozy for him, but I don’t feel like I can do anything.

Entry 15 - Friday

Well... it turns out Potato was a girl. I came home from work today to find her laying with two kittens - a brown tabby and a black one. I’m just glad she’s okay, and trying to not to think about the fact that I now have two more cats that I’ll have to start feeding myself in a couple weeks. Potato’s been back to her normal self, mostly, but she splits her time between me and running to check up on her babies.

Entry 16 - Saturday

A couple weeks have gone by and I’ve been too busy to write, but the kittens are up and running around now. The black one seems very sure footed and confident in her steps, but the brown tabby runs into walls when he gets excited. He’s... kinda stupid. I made sure to actually check their undersides this time instead of just assuming. I’m hoping to find someone who can get them all fixed at some point so I only have to pay to care for the three I have now.

Entry 17 - Sunday

I have never found myself so content. Or maybe just so distracted. I don’t know. The kittens are cute and so soft but they’re also little nuisances, racing around at night and scratching up the inside of the closet door. They’ve bitten through my lamp chord three times now. I didn’t realize damage control was more expensive than the actual care for them. Why can’t they be like their mom?

Entry 18 - Monday

Gabi wants the brown tabby. I’m kind of attached despite his idiocy, but I see the way her eyes light up when she comes over to play with the kittens. He picked her as his and always cuddles with her. He won’t even sit in my lap now. He just wants Gabi.

Entry 19 - Thursday

Gabi took Porkchop home today. She picked out his name and I paid for the collar and tags. Her mom was already cooing to him within the first five minutes of him being there. Letting him go was the right choice.

Entry 20 - Wednesday

Oh god. Potato’s getting fat again. Wish me luck.

[geirskogull]

Empty Mirror and Empty Grave 

+ Notes: A Short Vampire the Masquerade AU for Danica and Alex, This is Chapter 1 of 4 for this series, from the point of view of the newly embraced Lasombra Alexander Voss for this first chapter. 

Chapter 1 - The Same Deep Water as You

Archive Link

Icy water splashed hard against an even cooler face, a shaky exhale followed as the water pooled a tepid rusty pink in the ceramic bowl of the sink. Strange, what living habits clung to a dead man’s body, like memories fused to him with glue that spurned him to tears, yet twisted the salty brine that would have flowed from his eyes to a sickly vital red. 

Alexander thought then that  he should be laughing. That he should be cackling in victory over those who attempted to see him for their own personal gain, his father, his grandfather, this new vampiric patron who called himself sire. Yet his mind recognized in this end he was once again the true victim, but neither his mind nor his heart could contort the man’s memories to make them spell that out for him. Stubborn as always. Just like his sister. 

If he hadn’t known of the particularities of this curse, his curse, he may have tried to rationalize the ashy smudge that greeted him instead of his own tired, gauntface in the mirror. It would have been in vain, as  he knew better, he knew mirrors didn’t break like that. Hell he probably would have spent hours trying to scrub clean imaginary grime just to see his dead mossy green eyes. He always thought the color of rot suited him. Beyond that mournful rumination though, he also knew without his reflection, he looked a right mess if his sire, that figure of ruthlessness and shadows he met only a handful of times, counting his own death, saw him like this his new eternity would be over before it even began. 

So he returned to those empty habits he had once relied upon so much, inhaled deeply, straightened his shoulders, and ran cold hands across his face to remove the bloody tears tracks that dug their way there as best as he could with a smudgy mess as his guide. Another splash of water just in case, and another for good measure, and then a third till the pool was clear and he was sure the relics of his weakness swirled  down the drain, relics of shame he would never share. If he is to live forever, he would not allow it to be in vain.

“What do you want with me?” Terse words from an estranged sister echoed through his memory as he dried his face. “Arn’t you afraid dear old dad’ll axe you too, Alex?” She had hissed across a tiny café table that was more splinters held together with gorilla glue than actual wood then. Cross legged, angry and closed off, as he expected, but with sharp green eyes and new scars he didn’t remember being there last time he saw her. Those five years had changed them both so much. Then, he wondered if there was still anything left to save, left to salvage of their friendship. 

He laughed then, a bitter biting thing that painted fear across his twin sister’s face, only to be replaced with  sadness once its teeth were fully in her skin. A heavy silence hung around them in it’s wake, as if his cooling tea and her hot chocolate turned glorified chocolate milk were iron weights around their legs, dragging them to the ocean floor. 

He threw a clean black dress shirt over his shoulders and began to button it. Blinking away fresh bloody tears that threatened to spill over his still damp cheeks and the bittersweet memory in equal measure. As the visage of her hand reaching across that rough wooden sea to grasp his own terrified digits swelled in his minds, he paused.

“I’ve missed you so much, Dee.” Whispered words repeated from those recollections to nothing but the cold empty air around him. He dug his teeth into his lips, for he feared he was on the verge of sobbing once more. Once was more than enough for a night, thank you.

Oh if only he hadn’t traveled to this damn city on the guise of looking for school,only to actually be looking for her. If only he had taken the token acceptances thrown his way by those big name medical schools, all thanks to their father’s well placed donations and not in any way thanks to the intellect he believed he had. If only he hadn’t spent every cent he earned  on his own looking for his best friend that had been chased from their childhood by the bastard that sired them both, guilty only of the crime of dreaming. 

Perhaps then, they would still be truly alive. 

And not one unbreathing corpse masquerading as a living man, and the other... 

He dabbed a cold hand against his eyes, fearing the weakness of his resolve. Now is not the time to reflect, Alexander. He chastised himself bitterly, his own tone harsh. And even if it was, what would she think, seeing you now? Seeing you like this? A broken shell of a broken shell, huddling in his home not even willing to try this new gift out.

She’d tell him to relax, to lighten up. She’d ask about his class work and bring one of the animals she was fostering to sit on his lap. That’s how he ended up with Minet, wasn’t it? A loud meow near his feet confirmed his idle musings. Red eyes looking down into one cat-like yellow one, upon  a sea of black fur interrupted only by a terribly gaudy red collar and its pretty little bell. 

The vampire sniffled, kneeling down and giving the kitten a faint but honest grin. Ah his dear little constant. He found himself drawing his cold hands through soft fur and humming gently as the small cat began to purr. 

“Ah, so deep in my melancholy I forgot the most important job in my days!” A chuckle echoed in the cool air, and was answered by another dignified meow.  “Yes, yes, I know. Food is late, let’s go my dear one.”

“He’s friendly Alex, I promise.” Danica chuckled, her sing songy voice not exactly inspiring confidence, as she held a  small black bundle of fur and claws close to her chest. He hadn’t even looked up then, far too stressed out over his classwork, a med student more anxiety and coffee than flesh and blood at the present. He had more in common with the scattered cups of the stuff over his sisters home that he did her at the moment. \

“Last time I checked, tiny felines were not a requirement for me to pass my finals.” He had snipped up at her then, only to be met in turn with a very loud, very squeaky, and most definitely disappointed meow. Thankfully it was jarring enough to force the crooked man to right his posture and gaze at the single defiant eye of the feline now held ungracefully out towards him. 

"It's not, but it'll be good for what remains of you after said finals big brother"

"I'm only like two minutes older , Dee."

"And that's the first time you haven't lorded it over me, now hold the damn cat and relax Alex."

The loud, metallic jingle of kibble into a custom red bowl, the same shade as that tacky collar,  rescued the dead man from the clutches of his memories once more. Following suit was a very content and loud purr from the aforementioned Minet, King of the Flat, as he completely forgot about Alexander, Owner of the Flat, and dove straight into his food with a vigor he showed little else. Another shakey, yet unneeded, exhale left the vampire. This time at least sounding something akin to a weak  wheezy chuckle and not a barely restrained sob. 

Good kitty. 

Very good kitty.

Alexander Voss gave the fluffy menace a few polite yet ignored pats before standing and facing his evening once again. He did have orders after all, and what else had he been his entire life but a loyal, dutiful, gopher for his father and his father’s goals. Why would that change in death? 

The comedy was not lost on him, given the orders this time were “Go, enjoy yourself for a night.” As if he even knew where to start! A bitter laugh erupted from him, consuming the silence of the apartment like a mad hungry flame. Lingering in the expanse of once pleasant memories, turning them to ash in his mouth, was definitely not a good start.

But he would not fail, not again. Not at any task.

So even with the added “difficulty” of not being able to see himself in the mirror, he silently swore to his reflection that he would forge himself anew of black shadowy steel. He would be a tool for himself, not for this new vampiric father he found himself beholden to, not for the visible ghosts of his  first victims and the invisible ghost of his sister, but for himself. A revolutionary statement in his mind that would take some getting used to, and a great deal of planning to accomplish.

With the weight of his memory as the ink upon the paper of his oath, and the cold wind beyond his door the dust sprinkled upon it, he now just needed to find the wax and the stamp and it would be eternal.. As he twisted the polished silver door handle of the apartment, he closed his eyes. A stillness taking him as he silently considered this new plan brewing in the blackness in his mind. 

He shoots a careful glance back at Minet over his shoulder as the cold winter wind knocked at his coat and mussed his long, unkempt ponytail. The one eyed feline, for his part, licked at his paws absently, full from his regal meal and oblivious to his servants troubles.

“I’ll be back.”

His words were largely ignored, but the flittering familiar shades at the edge of his vision seemed to nod, almost in approval. Strange from such stern faces, barely perceivable in the messed watercolor of their forms, but still uniquely themselves. 

Facing forward, he inhaled, the last act of his old dying world, and faced a new beginning.. A pang of thirst in his gut forced a strange wolfish smile upon his face, sharp toothed and hungry. First goal of the evening, of his first free night, find a drink.

He would need the energy for what he had planned.

[theunderdogwrites]

2020: The Year I Lost My Ass

Well, we reached the end of that toilet roll only to start another one, because that is what we do for as long as we are allowed to continue revolutions around the sun – we keep going.

2020 was a terrible year for so many. My brain is incapable of processing the number of losses suffered on a global scale. Be it jobs, security, rights, sanity, relationships or life. My brain is not just incapable of these calculations, it has plain refused to entertain those thoughts on behalf of my heart. My heart, that sensitive little blood pumping work horse who not once allows itself to stop. Thank goodness.

I don��t believe the majority of people are willing and able to bring themselves to fully comprehend what was lost in 2020.

Here is a list of a few more losses suffered last year:

- People lost their shit. And over the most ridiculous things like toilet paper, having to wear a mask to secure toilet paper and being held to the consequences resulting from not wearing a mask when asked to while attempting to purchase toilet paper. Pause for a moment and let that last sentence hang around in your mind. 2020 made that happen. I didn’t make it up! Recently I saw a news piece showing a man (40’s) lying down on the floor in a Costco to protest being asked to wear a mask. He spoke loudly, he beat his hands at his sides and wildly kicked his legs when an employee asked him to get up. Now, I am not judging for I too have participated in such behaviour MANY times. Granted I was three, but hey… some of us mature faster than others.

 - People lost their damn minds. 2020 should be dubbed “The Year of The Karen”. For those of you not in the know about the Karen phenomenon, here is a description courtesy of Urban Dictionary:

 “Karen is a pejorative term used in the United States and other English-speaking countries for a woman perceived as entitled or demanding beyond the scope of what is appropriate or necessary. A common stereotype is that of a white woman who uses her privilege to demand her own way at the expense of others.’

 Basically, a Karen is a I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER type person (There is a male equivalent, but it seems no one can agree on the name… Chad, Terry, Kyle, Kevin, Steve). You can often find a Karen on her cellphone calling the police to report a black man who lives in her neighborhood, simply living his life in her neighbourhood. I didn’t make that up either.

 More recently a Karen was videoed in a UPS store claiming that she didn’t have to wear a mask because that space was government property and not a private business. Would it be safe to say that most Karen types suffer from a lack of oxygen to their brain? Possibly. But that would involve science and Karen types DO NOT enjoy hard facts.

 As always when I download my thoughts into reality, I must go within and search myself. Am I a Karen? My immediate answer is: no fucking way. I can honestly say I’ve never once asked to see a manager or called the police to report someone eating their lunch on a park bench. I do not enjoy confrontation. Unless there is a bully involved. Then I will drag that person to hell with me. I much prefer discussion over going straight to the ‘I triple dog dare you!’ approach to the world. (If you got that reference, you are my new favourite) Because that is who a Karen really is… someone who jumps right to the most extreme action in order to satisfy their need to be superior. Truly, we should feel sorry for these people because instead of engaging they’re raging. And how awful must their insides feel… always full of anger, fear and self doubt. I say instead of judging these Karen types or putting them on blast on social media, we should hug the shit out of them. Just grab them and squeeze as hard as you fucking can until they stop talking. Peaceful solutions my friends, peaceful solutions.

 - Pets lost their faith in us. Children a close second. If you are a proud owner of a pet or a child, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

I’ve always operated under the notion that my cat loves it when I’m home and hates it when I leave. 2020 has taught me it might be the other way around. Because our animals are, well, animals we just believe our presence is the greatest gift in their lives. Remember when you were old enough to be left alone by your parents and once you had the taste of that kind of freedom, you just wanted more of it and couldn’t wait for them to go out? I feel it’s like that with our pets now. We might not think animals have a routine or preferences or enjoy some alone time, but we’d be wrong.

I think at first our pets were thrilled. If we are home more it means more time for prolonged petting, walks and the opportunity to ritualistically train us to respond to their caterwauls for more food and treats than normal. But then as the weeks of lockdown and working from home increased, so did our pets desire to kill us in our sleep.

 I’m pretty sure my cat has asked me several times using her feline glare: “why the fuck won’t you just leave?”. It would be naïve of us to assume we don’t disrupt their day with our constant noise making and snacking and scotch drinking that leads to a good buzz that leads to showing too much affection to our pets. To the point where they run and hide when they see us coming. Please tell me I didn’t describe just my own experience.

 There is such a thing as everything in moderation, we know this, so I think it can be applied here. People, get away from your pets. Give them the space you often desire from human beings. Because if you don’t, that random turd in your shoe could be pointing to a much larger, more alarming problem you’re about to encounter.

 I had the absolute blessing of being able to assist in caring for and raising of my three nephews (12,9,6) for the last 11 years. So, when I say: ‘children are always watching us’, I feel I know what I’m talking about. I’ve been mimicked so often by these young boys that I’ve had to pause due to mortification. Children will hold you accountable without even knowing it. I’ve had some behaviours of mine corrected by a 5-year-old and let me tell you, it stings like hell.

 As adults, when our world was thrown into turmoil because of Covid-19, we looked to our medical health professionals and our politicians for guidance. Basically, we searched for those who would lead us. The children – looked to us. And while many adults handled this responsibility the best they possibly could, many more failed miserably and displayed attitudes I can only describe as juvenile, damaging and pathetic. I suppose it doesn’t help if the people the adults are looking to for help are themselves - juvenile, damaging and pathetic.

 When I say we still have not grasped just how much has been lost over the past year, I’m hinting at integrity, compassion and creditability. Three vital qualities you’d hope people want to instill into their children. But if they themselves are unable to display such valuable traits, what does this say for the children who are looking up to them as an example on how to act when life gets challenging?

 For myself in 2020, I gained by losing.

When they locked our gyms down for four months last spring, I came close to being one of those people who lost their shit. While people were moaning about wearing a mask for 20 minutes in the grocery store, I was contemplating if murdering those people could be considered a cardio exercise and would that hold up in a court of law.

To reflect on that time period now (especially since our gyms are closed AGAIN at the moment) the loss of the gyms brought me the knowledge of how important the routine of going to and being in the gym is to my mental health. I won’t launch into how I feel about shopping malls being open and gyms being closed despite their proven benefit to one’s overall health because then I really will lose my shit.

People always say getting to the gym is the hardest part and once they’re there it’s easy to workout. And for many that is the truth, but for me it’s all a part of the workout. Getting to the gym is the psychological effort. Putting in the work at the gym is the physical. You can’t have one without the other. I became so pathetic that I’d often walk to the closed gym from my house, stare at the closed doors and then walk home. 1.5 hour round trip. True story.

Remember a few years back everyone became obsessed with that Netflix show ‘Tidying Up with Marie Kondo’? It is the show where that lovely woman from Japan showed us all how to declutter our homes by getting rid of anything that didn’t bring us joy. Those acid wash jeans from 1989… sit with them… hold them close to your chest… if they don’t make you happy, remove them from your space. Well, the same idea can be applied to people and ideas and even feelings. And 2020 was a great year for simplifying our lives. I’ve heard so many people talk about how they can’t wait to get back to ‘normal’… not me. I’ve already started my ‘new normal’.

The loss of drama has gained me peace and a better understanding of the importance of remaining true to who I am instead of trying to please others in hopes it wins me points. Because it doesn’t. Because its inauthentic and only brings you more loss and more drama. And anxiety. And sleepless nights. And an overall sense of hatred for everyone. 2020 gave me the option to no longer care about the things that don’t make me happy and to embrace the process of letting all that stupid bullshit fade away.

It was a year of gained focus.

It was a year of gained appreciation.

It was a year of gained gratitude.

It was a year of gained love for myself.

 I’m going to leave you now, but not before I share one of my favorite songs by the Tragically Hip:

In A World Possessed by The Human Mind

Just give me the news

It can all be lies

Exciting over fair or the right thing at the right time

Everything is clear

Just how you described

The way it appears, "A world possessed by the human mind"

 Then I think I smiled

Then I think you said, "it's fine"

And quietly I dressed, in a world completely possessed by the human mind

 We're in awe of no one

We've none of their fear

Fighting's goin' nowhere and we stay right here

Where everything is quiet

A little super dangerous

"In the shadow of the law and with colours of justice"

 Then I hope I smiled

Then I'm sure you said, "It's fine"

They got no interest in a world completely possessed by the human mind

 Everything is quiet

A little super dangerous

Quiet enough to hear God rustlin' around in the bushes

Oh, but it was you

Girl, I was so afraid

You said, "You shoulda seen the look on your face"

 Then I hope I laughed

Then I hope I said, "it's fine"

And quietly undressed in a world completely possessed by the human mind

 Oh it was you

Girl, I was so afraid

You said, "You shoulda seen the look on your face"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgXphurrsE0

[rutilation]

hi I have some theories about the Problematic Rock

In my essay for chapter 82, I said that I had settled on a theory of What The Deal Is With Cairngorm.  My thoughts on the subject are a bit all over the place, so in the hope of presenting things in a coherent manner, I’ve laid out my thought process from the past eleven months or so in roughly chronological order, beginning with the nitpick that started it all.  Welcome to my twisted mind, and all that.

For the most part, the way the series applies fantasy concepts to actual geology has been fairly sound.  For example, tourmaline generates an electric charge when heated, so Melon radiates electricity when upset.  Cinnabar the rock often comes out of the ground covered in native mercury, so Cinnabar the character is surrounded by magical floating mercury.  Alexandrite turns red or purple in incandescent light, so the light the Lunarians give off changes Alex’s color and gives them a mood swing to boot.  It’s exaggerated and fantastical, but it’s nonetheless grounded in some nugget of geology trivia which one might find on the back of a Snapple cap.  But, Ghost and Cairn’s condition in the story does not line up with how phantom crystals work, even within the science-fantasy framework we’ve got going here.  At first, I just filed it away next to other inaccuracies such as Antarc shouldn’t be able to trudge through snow without dissolving in a puddle of their own brine, much less dive into the ocean unscathed.  However, if my theory(s) is correct, then this apparent lapse in the internal logic of the story might have in fact been deliberate foreshadowing.  But I’m getting ahead of myself.

First, some context. Phantom crystals form by way of two distinct but related processes:

During a crystal’s formation out of a solution, its growth is temporarily halted for one of any number of reasons.  During this time, dust falls onto the surface of the crystal.  As the crystal begins growing again, these tiny debris become trapped within, and if the rest of the crystal is sufficiently transparent, the included material appears from the outside as the outline of a crystal within a crystal.

The other process to which this term applies involves color zoning, and is a bit easier to explain.  During a crystal’s formation, the chemicals that make up the solution change slightly, and these impurities cause one part of the crystal to become a different color from another part.  If the color zoning is concentric, and the different colors in question are visible from outside the crystal, it can be labeled a phantom crystal.  Ghost and Cairn appear to be this second type.

So here’s what I’m getting at: a phantom crystal is not two separate crystals, in much the same way that the rings in a tree trunk aren’t a bunch of separate trees.  Therefore, it doesn’t make sense for Ghost and Cairngorm to be two separate people, and if they are actually intended to be examples of this phenomenon, it raises some questions.  For one thing, watermelon tourmaline forms via the exact same process of concentric color zoning I described in example number two; since you usually can’t see the pinkish part from outside of the green layer of crystal, it’s not often labeled a phantom crystal, but it’s the same phenomenon nonetheless.  So, why is it that Cairn and Ghost are two different people, but the green and red parts of Melon aren’t?  For that matter, why aren’t the two halves of Euclase two separate people? There’s certainly more of colorless-Euclase than there is of Ghost.  If mere color zoning were enough, then why are Ghost and Cairn the only examples of highly-conjoined-twins amongst the cast?  Unless of course, we weren’t given an accurate picture of how these two came to be, and there’s something fishy going on.

Of course, whether or not this little contradiction is actually meaningful wholly depends on if Ichikawa was even aware of the distinction as she was writing.  As I recall she once said in an interview that she wasn’t very familiar with geology in the first place before she started writing hnk.  But, like I said at the beginning of this essay, this is what got me started down the rabbit hole.  From this observation arose two different trains of thought.   One came to me pretty quickly, but the other took a few months to materialize.

The first idea that popped into my head when I realized that this inaccuracy could have been deliberate was that Ghost and Cairngorm might not be separate people, and there was some split-personality shenanigans going on.  I’ll quickly list the things I think this theory has going for it with some bullet points.

Remember that one time, when Cairngorm referred to Ghost as their “former self?”  And that other time, in the official translation of volume 6, when they referred to Ghost as their “other half?”  That is rather curious terminology for referring to one’s sibling.

That one time in chapter 39, where Cairn repeated Ghost’s sentiment about being “tired of praying” verbatim, and the composition of the panels seemingly called attention to it.

It would serve to explain a certain contradiction in Cairn’s personality: despite their aggressive—and at times violent—demeanor, they nonetheless act like a total doormat in all the ways that really matter.  They live their life according to someone else’s wishes, they’re quick to pass off decision making to others, and they fold under pressure pretty easily.  What if Cairngorm is, in fact, Ghost’s idea of what being assertive is like, without any understanding of what it means to actually be independent or confident? 

A common critique of the story is that Ghost’s character was rather perfunctory, and their death felt like a second-rate retread of Antarc’s fate.  Well, if Cairn and Ghost are the same person, then they weren’t actually unceremoniously dropped from the story after all.  Come to think of it, right before they were supposedly taken, Ghost said they wanted to change; what if they actually did?

As many of you have noticed, Ghost is one of the few characters who isn’t ProblematiqueTM .  Doubtlessly, Ichikawa now regrets killing them off before they could do something kinda nasty.  Even Antarc got the chance to cluelessly trample over Phos’s self-esteem before getting turned into road salt.  But, if it were revealed that Ghost was actually the same character as creamed corn, then Ichikawa could drag their good name through the mud with one fell swoop.  (I’m just trying to think from her perspective, guys!  Her cruel, sadistic perspective…)

But ultimately, when I got around to wondering why on earth they would have a split personality in the first place, I found that this line of inquiry raised more questions than answers.  Unlike my second theory, which mostly just raises answers.

(I know I just dumped a big tinfoil hat at my readers’ feet like a cat gifting its owner a decapitated bird, but please keep bearing with me, I’m not even halfway done.)

The idea that I’ve found to be the most fruitful came in the weeks following chapter 75.  I’ve brought up this line from Aechmea multiple times (probably to the point of redundancy,) because it’s the biggest hint we’ve gotten so far that there’s some Cairn-related context we’re not yet privy to.  And the more the narrative keeps reminding us of it—usually by way of Cairngorm bringing it up with varying levels of anxiety—the more it seems to be alluding to something important.  So I got to thinking that whatever my little plot twist was, it would have to account for Aechmea’s cryptic bullshit.  I put forward a couple preliminary ideas in my essay for chapter 75, but I’ve since discarded those in favor of my second theory.

So, somehow Aechmea knew Cairngorm before they came to the moon, and neither Cairngorm, (nor Ghost for that matter,) remembers meeting him.  When I tried to think of how this could be possible, while also keeping in mind my little bugbear about phantom crystals, I developed a theory that’s much more pedestrian by the standards of the hnk fandom.  I am of course, talking about the mysterious artificial gem experiments that the Lunarians conducted.  That sure is a plot element which has been left dangling, huh?  And since no one, least of all myself, believes Stinkmea when he claims that the experiments were a complete failure, it has been a favored pastime of people who write walls of text to speculate on who amongst the cast might have been planted on earth by the Lunarians; e.g. Obsidian, Antarc, new Morga and Goshe… I imagine someone at some point has even postulated that Phos themselves is from the moon.  But, if you pay close attention to how Aechmea, and later, Barbata describe the process by which they attempted to create artificial gems, it lines up strikingly well with what we know about Ghost and Cairngorm, and it also serves to explain the geological inaccuracy I was talking about earlier.

Aechmea describes how the Lunarians tried to create their own gems by grafting pieces of gems they had captured from earth onto artificial bodies, and that they were dumped on earth before being retrieved after they showed no signs of life.  Barbata also mentions it later, in more oblique terms.  He’s speaking vaguely, but his warning to Phos feels a bit odd in its specificity. The use of the phrase “emotionally delicate” also raises my eyebrows a bit.  I may be reading too much into this, but I feel that his hypothetical example is less hypothetical than he’s letting on.  Perhaps, he is in fact referring to a certain someone in particular, who is emotionally fragile, and subsequently lost their sense of self after being subjected to this experiment.  Hmmm…

So here’s what I think went down: once upon a time, probably before the current generation of gems had been born, there was a gem on earth who was just plain old colorless Quartz. I’m going to call them OG!Quartz.  One day, OG!Quartz is captured by the Lunarians, and Aechmea uses them for his little gem experiment, probably with Barbata being the one to carry it out.  He shaves off the outermost layer of OG!Quartz and discards the rest of them. Then, he grafts those pieces onto an artificial body made of black Quartz.  The inclusions from OG!Quartz permeate into the artificial material, and thus Cairngorm is born.  The Lunarians subsequently dump them on earth, at which point Kongou, who may or may not realize what’s going on, picks them up and names them Ghost Quartz, despite the fact that they didn’t come about via that process.

This would explain a lot of things.  If so little of OG!Quartz was used to make Ghost Quartz, they would likely be unable to remember their previous life, or the ensuing events on the moon, for that matter.  And since Cairngorm would be a newborn at the time, they wouldn’t be able to remember Aechmea either, thus solving the riddle of how Aechmea knew Cairngorm before they came the moon.

It would also clue us in to what Aechmea meant by love, why he was quick to swoop in and take advantage of Cairn, and why he kept Cairn’s original arm around.  If they were the one success after a series of failed experiments, it’s possible that Aechmea feels a sense of ownership over Cairn, as if they’re his accomplishment.  (Yikes.)

It would also explain another thing that has stuck in mind.  The way Ghost was taken was kind of weird, wasn’t it?  At the time, the Lunarians were being oddly particular about nabbing Ghost instead of Cairn.  Usually, the Lunarians try to shatter the gems and be done with it, not shave a bunch of little pieces off the outside.  Furthermore, Cairngorm was thoroughly wrecked by the end of that fight.  The Lunarians could have easily grabbed them both and gotten away before help could arrive, but instead, they pushed Cairn off of the vessel and only took Ghost.  If we assume though that Ghost and Cairn are the result of one of those gem experiments, the Lunarians actions during that battle start to make sense.  Perhaps the Lunarians wanted to see if Cairngorm was alive in their own right, or if the pieces of Ghost were just dragging the rest of the body around.  They wouldn’t be able to tell the difference from their distant vantage point.  So, they nabbed Ghost and intentionally left Cairn behind in order to further observe their experiment.  

(I should point out that when I say “the Lunarians,” assume I’m referring to Aechmea, Barbata, and perhaps a handful of other unnamed extras.  Aechmea probably doles out knowledge of his obtuse schemes on a need-to-know basis, and I doubt people like Cicada, or Quieta, or Goshe’s gnarly skater friends know anything about this.)

Going back to this page, Cairn’s expression has stuck in my mind.  They’re trembling, and have a fearful look on their face.  By all accounts, even if what Aechmea just said was confusing, it should still be something Cairn would be happy to hear.  But their immediate reaction is one of understated horror.  It’s almost as if they intuited that there was something very wrong with that statement, even if they can’t put their finger on why. This leads us into another question that’s been on my mind which this theory might serve to explain.

In my very first essay about Caringorm, I ran into a bit of a wall when trying to figure out why Cairngorm’s personality is the way it is.  I figured at the time that Cairngorm’s issues arose from having no agency for most of their life, and that their relationship with Ghost was perhaps much less amicable than we were lead to believe.  And while it’s hard to argue that being a prisoner in their own body for most of their life hasn’t messed them up, I don’t think that’s the only thing going on here.  Furthermore, as far as Cairn’s relationship with Ghost was concerned, we haven’t heard anything about it since, which leads me to believe that it’s not where the trouble lies.  While I still stand by most of what I said in that essay—particularly about how Cairn’s dependency complex compels them to treat themselves as a vehicle for someone else’s desires—there’s a major aspect to all of this that I overlooked at the time.  During their brief tenure in the series, Ghost exhibited a lot of the same issues that Cairngorm does now.

The way they talked about living life following Lapis’s orders—as if they were Lapis’s lackey rather than their partner, the way they latched onto Phos so strongly after they showed them the barest hint of interest, their abysmal self-esteem… It all seems eerily similar to Cairn’s issues, even if it manifested in a more muted fashion.  So, why is it that Ghost exhibited some of Cairngorm’s maladaptive coping mechanisms, despite the fact that Cairn should have been the only one of the two who needed to develop them in the first place?

I haven’t exactly put too fine a point on it since I don’t live with the condition myself, and thus don’t want to risk putting my foot in my mouth, but I can’t really elucidate on this in a concise manner while dancing around the subject.  Ever since chapter 68, I’ve been looking at Cairngorm through the lens of borderline personality disorder.  Since they seem to check more and more boxes off the symptom list with each new chapter, I think it’s a useful lens through which to view them, whether or not it’s one that Ichikawa had in mind.  But, BPD generally arises from trauma, to the extent that many psychologists see it as an alternate manifestation of PTSD.  So, for the longest time, I’ve wondered how it was that Cairn and Ghost ended up the way they did.  There’s no clear answer in the narrative at this point.

This brings us to what Barbata alluded to, that the process of trying to create an artificial gem was damaging to the minds of the those who were subjected to it.  If Ghost and Cairn were (re)born as the result of something terrible, something that destroyed their sense of self, it might explain why they both have mental issues that are indicative of past trauma, despite those issues not having any obvious source.  The only other possible source of trauma I can come up with is that the relationship the two of them had with Lapis might have been an abusive one.  But if that were the case, then there should have been some buildup for it in the chapters following 67.  And while Lapis and Ghost have barely been mentioned in the interim, there’s been a whole lot of incremental reminders that Aechmea’s a shady bastard who’s hiding something from Cairn.  Where there’s smoke, there’s probably a fire.

Well, that’s about it.  Thanks for sticking with this to the end; hopefully, I didn’t make too many flagrant leaps in logic.  Ichikawa, if you would be so kind as to confirm my theories, and also let Phos peacefully live out the rest of their days with their snail friends, I would really appreciate it.  See you all in the essay for chapter 83.

[scandalsavagefanfic]

Congrats on 500 followers! :D For a prompt, oh boy... I think I'll go with 'Slade is the strongest gladiator in the arena, so it's only right the gamemakers should want to see his genes passed along to the next generation of fighters. That's where Jason, an omega specially selected from the al Ghul's harem for the task, comes in.' SladeJay A/B/O, as you can probably guess. Make it as nice or as terrible as you want ;)

Soooooooo…. 

In case you couldn’t tell, I loved this idea. 

I’m not going to attach the whole fic because it clocks in at +7k and that feels like a little much for a Tumblr post :D

But here it is:

Fortune Favors the Bold - Read on AO3!

Rating: ExplicitWarnings: Non-con, a/b/oWords: 7180

EXCERPT:

————————————————————————

Slade thinks the invitations are unnecessary.

A breeder is a breeder. It’s the sire that matters and hedoesn’t see any reason to make a fuss about carrying on his line.

He is used to the fine trappings of wealth as he skirts theedges of the room like a big cat keeping an eye on its prey. The silks and goldand gems have been perks of being the best, almost since the beginning for him.Never losing a fight in the Colosseum gave him the grandest life an owned mancan ask for. He likes fighting, that rush of adrenaline, the way strategy andinstinct come together, the skill required. And he likes the luxuries that thatskill affords him.

He could have escaped ages ago, but he way he figures,everything is a fight. Might as well be here with adoring crowds

“See anything to your liking?”

Slade takes the cup of wine his owner holds out to him witha perfunctory bow of his head. Just enough deference to meet the expectationsof anyone watching. Vandal gives him a lot of slack on his lead, even more inthe day to day operations where they’ve become almost friendly, but he stillexpects Slade to behave like the slave he is when they have company.

And right now, they have a lot of company.

Littered around the room are groups of richly attired peoplestanding or sitting on piles of cushions and low chaises, eating and drinkingmerrily. Serving slaves move through the crowd, in their simple undyed tunics,carrying trays of finger foods and pitchers of wine and ale.

But that’s not what Vandal is asking about.

Slade’s gaze drifts back to the slightly raised dais in themiddle of the room. Barely-there curtains of translucent gauzy fabric separatethe soft, plush creatures on offer from the rest of the crowd.

Omegas. Not just any omegas. These are bred and trained tobe ideal pleasure slaves by the great houses and neighboring kingdoms. They’remeant to be sold or gifted to nobles and kings and princes.

They’re probably not the grandest quality options available,everyone invited knew who and what the omega is for. But the current ownersmilling about are still trying to earn favor with the Emperor and there is nosmall amount of prestige offered by Slade’s domination in the gladiatorialgames. And pleasure slaves for breeding are already a luxury item. So, theomegas are absolutely better than anything Slade would have gotten, even as afree man.

From what he can see, they’re all pretty, delicate things withdecorative gold chains dripping from their wrists and necks, precious stonesand feathers woven into their hair, lips bright with rouge, eyes smoky withkohl.

“A womb is a womb,” Slade responds with a shrug. “Can’t seewhy you’d go to all this trouble just for me.”

Vandal snorts and takes a sip of his wine.

“I wouldn’t. Not just for you anyway.” He claps a giant handon Slade’s equally giant shoulder and nods at the see of aristocrats. “I like towatch them grovel. Scramble to earn my favor.”

“Of course you do.”

He keeps his voice low. It wouldn’t due for someone tooverhear him speaking to the emperor as though they were peers.

“Besides,” Vandal continues conspiratorially. “Who saysyou’re the only one who will benefit?”

This time Slade snorts. “You expect me to share my mate?”

He’s joking. Nothing that is his is really his. He,and everything in his possession, belongs to Vandal Savage. Slade neverexpected any mate or slave he might be given to be any different.

Which is probably the reason Vandal just raises his brows,amused smile playing on his lips.

“So none of them have caught your eye, hm?”

“No. They’re all just slightly different versions of eachother. I’m sure one will be as good as the next.”

Vandal frowns at that. “We are trying to replace you, Slade.You might be invincible but you’re not immortal. I want you around to trainwhatever you spawn. So, the most important thing is that you don’t find itdifficult to perform. After that, if you don’t like the bitch, we’ll just bringit out when it’s in heat. After all, I find them all quite pleasing. They canwarm my bed in the interim.”

They both take dignified sips of their wine and Slade findshimself scanning the omegas again. They’re all slim, attractive boys and girlsa third his age. Which suits him fine, he guesses. The youthful part. He’salways been partial to youthful beauty and he certainly doesn’t want a crusty,used up omega his own age.

But otherwise they’re just more of the same kind ofbeautiful omegas flitting around the court already.

He’ll perform fine. Physically there isn’t a singleobjectionable thing about any of them. And Slade doesn’t have the time orprivacy to get to know them beyond their pleasing appearances.

“Any will be fine,” he says. “Pick the one you like best.”

With another quick glance around the room, Slade angles hisbody away from the crowd and speaks softly enough he is certain only theemperor can hear him.

“Where’s the Demon? Thought you two had other matters todiscuss and were using this as a way to meet without drawing unwantedattention.”

They both look up to briefly eye the representative fromGotham, making sure he is still on the other side of the room. They didn’t comewith a tribute, of course. Gotham doesn’t trade in slaves. But they’re a majorneighboring kingdom and relations are… constantly strained. So they keepambassadors at all times.

“Late,” Vandal mutters without moving his lips. “Ran intotrouble on the road. Should be here any min—oh… I guess he’s arrived.”

The emperor nods in the direction of the ambassador, whofinds himself being approached by what Slade knows to be his favorite omega playmatein the capitol. One of the courtesans kept on staff for people with principlesthat don’t allow for the use of slaves.

Slade watches as the first prince of Gotham is tugged awaywith a playful grin on his face. The kid is pretty for an alpha but reeks ofthat competing dominance in a way that even Vandal doesn’t. Slade liked thefirst ambassador better. The second son, whose scent was earthy and fresh undera spicy cologne he always wore. Easily the the best smelling alpha Slade hadever met. Considering Slade’s preferences, he had always tried to place himselfin the prince’s path.

Pity the kid went got himself killed.

It made a lot more sense on a purely political level, tohave the second son act as a liaison. It’s a risk under the best ofcircumstances, to send the heir to another kingdom. The bad odds go up when thefate of the younger brother is taken into account, and then plummet with thefact that the two kingdoms are so ideologically different and could feasibly beat war with each other any moment.

Slade guesses that’s why he’s here. That Prince Richard isplaying a dangerous game and investigating what happened to his brother.

If he’s not careful, Gotham will be down to its final heir.

“Ra’s asked that we… distract Gotham when he arrived.Tiger was watching for their convoy with orders to tempt the prince somewheremore private when they finally showed.”

“Why?” Slade asks, narrowing his eyes as the main doorsswing open and Ra’s al Ghul is announced. “It’s not like he’s leaving. Seemslike a temporary solution.”

“I don’t know. Ra’s was light on the details. But I do lovea good conspiracy against Gotham, especially the minor ones that they can’treally do anything about. And the Demon assures me that by the end of theevening it won’t matter. One way or the other.”

“That is… too vague. Do you trust him that much?”

Ra’s al Ghul, the Demon’s Head, strides into the room, asingle large manservant on his heels dragging a chained omega.

“Not nearly as much as I trust you,” Vandal rumbles low againsthis ear before striding off to meet the new arrivals.

Slade follows at a respectful distance, keeping his eyes andears open while feigning disinterest. Since it’s what’s expected of him, hefocuses on the omega.

The omega, presumably the one being offered, is otherwisedressed much like the ones lounging on the dais. Only his sheer green skirtsare held up with a belt of leather and gold instead of another length of silk pinnedtogether with gems. And, although he wears golden bangles around his wrists andankles and golden serpents around his muscular biceps, the heavy steel chainsthat keep his limbs bound too close together to be any trouble are veryobviously not decorative. The leather and gold collar at his throat isattached to his wrists by even more real chains where the other omegas wearcollars of lace or fine golden weaves. And none of the other omegas are wearinga muzzle across the lower portion of their face, even if it is coveredin glinting rubies.

The boy is young, just like the others, but big for anomega. Where the others are soft curves, this one is sharp muscle. He issmaller than the Alphas in the room, but he dwarfs the other omegas on offer. Hiseyes are bright aquamarine, with bursts of gold around the pupil and flecks ofvivid green throughout.

They’re angry and indignant and they are eerily familiar,even if Slade can’t immediately place them.

He subtly scents the air around the kid, already wrinklinghis nose in anticipation of the sweet, floral scents of most omegas. Only to bepleasantly surprised to find that he smells like a forest after a storm.Something tugs at his memory there too.

Despite himself, he finds that this one has absolutelycaught his eye. To the point where he’s missed the conversation between hismaster and the Demon until his name is spoken.

“Apologies, Master,” he says, only because everyone iswatching. “I was… distracted.”

Ra’s grins at his statement, the white points of his teethvisible, like he’s won some great argument.

Meanwhile, Vandal frowns at the omega.

“I said you wouldn’t be interested in an untrained omegaslave,” Vandal clarifies, narrowing his eyes at Ra’s. “If I didn’t know youbetter, I’d consider this an insult.”

“But you do know me better,” Ra’s answers easily with anunconcerned wave of a ringed hand. “You know I have the best harems andtraining in the known kingdoms. And you know I have an uncanny ability to matchhigh value slaves with the proper Alphas. Perhaps we can speak more privately?”

“What exactly is high value about a feral, beast of anomega?” Vandal hisses as the crowd presses closer.

…

[Read the rest on AO3!]

[korora12]

Ladybug Week Day 7 - Bookstore

Day 6 Day 8

Word count: 2201

Ghosts in the Closet and Other Scary Stories. Grimm Eclipse. The Lone Hatchling: A Qedem’s Story of Overcoming Hardship. Cyber-Ninja Vs. Zombie Cats. That one sounded silly, Ruby thought as she perused the book titles before her. She wondered if Blake would like it.

Ruby reached for the book, only to bump into someone else as she did. An apology had already slipped out of her mouth before she saw who she’d hit. It was a girl in a short, shoulderless dress and leggings, with red hair and long, donkey-like ears.

Ruby recognized her in an instant, even though she hadn’t seen the girl – no, woman – in years. “Penny? Is that you?”

The woman in question startled, then peered closely back. “Friend Ruby? How fortuitous and unlikely to see you here! You’ve gotten so much taller!” She spoke with the same enthusiastic and precise tone that she had when Ruby had first met her.

Ruby chuckled. “Yeah, humans tend to do that.” She found herself suddenly lifted in the air as strong arms wrapped her in an unbreakable grip.

“I haven’t seen you in years! How have you been?”

Ruby’s bones groaned in protest. “I missed you too Penny, but you’re crushing me. Please let go.” When her feet had returned to the ground, she took a moment to stretch out her aching rib cage. “I’ve been good. What are you doing out here? This system’s the last place I’d expect to run into you. Did you leave Atlas again?”

Penny shook her head, her hands still on Ruby shoulders. “No, I’m actually here for work. What about you, Friend Ruby? What brings you out this far?”

“Freelance work,” Ruby answered. “I finally got my own ship. Her name is Crescent Rose.”

“Oh,” Penny started to shake Ruby in excitement, “I’m so happy for you. That’s just what you always wanted!”

“Tha-a-anks Penny,” Ruby managed to get out before Penny stopped shaking her. “I actually came to this shop with my girlfriend. You should come meet her.”

“That sounds wonderful!” Penny said, even as Ruby was already dragging her along by her wrist.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

It wasn’t a particularly large bookstore that they’d found themselves in. It was located in downtown Evernight, the capital of Eltanin and finest (read: only) city in ten parsecs. Squeezed in-between a local furniture shop and a Mistrali restaurant, Blake had found that, despite its abysmal organizational system, Tukson’s Book Trade was one of the best places to find rare and unusual books.

The store’s small size meant she would’ve needed to be completely ignoring her surroundings to not see her girlfriend heading straight towards her with an unfamiliar woman in hand.

No, wait, Blake recognized her. She looked like Penny, the synthetic she’d met in the other universe they’d traveled to. The two of them had spoken briefly, that Penny interested in an entire species of beings like her, but aside from both being amongst the only three people still sober after the queen’s reception party, they hadn’t had much in common.

“Blake!” Ruby shouted, a completely unnecessary act in such a quiet place. Fortunately, the owner seemed to be the only other person in the store. “I want you to meet someone.” Coming to a halt, Ruby gestured dramatically at her companion. “This is Penny. She’s, like, my oldest friend.”

Blake took a moment to look her over. She was a bit smaller than Ruby, with short hair wrapped up in a bow and small bag slung over her shoulder. Everything about her, save for her second set of ears and her giant smile, seemed small, giving her an overall appearance of youth. Of course, she was clearly a FAUNIS, so apparent age had nothing to do with actual age. By comparison, Ruby was no giant, and she occasionally gave off a false air of naïveté, but she never looked as childish as Penny did. Still, the two of them standing together, side-by-side and grinning like idiots, churned something in her stomach. They looked like peas in a pod, to borrow a Valean saying, like they belonged together. She fought the urge to look away.

“Pleasure to meet you,” Blake said. “Ruby never mentioned you.”

“What?” Ruby glanced back and forth between the two of them. “I must’ve mentioned her at some point.”

“Not that I remember,” Blake countered.

“That’s alright,” Penny said. “It was a long time ago, and we didn’t really know each other for all that long.”

“Mhmm,” Ruby hummed, settling her gaze on Blake. “I met her back on Patch, when I was a little girl. It was shortly after my mom died, and Penny was just the friend I needed to help me through everything.”

“Oh, you’re too kind,” Penny rejoined. “You helped me quite a bit too, you know. I’d only recently been freed from my previous duties, and found myself quite uncertain what to do next. I may well have remained floundering if not for your wise words.”

Freed? Was she referring to the FAUNIS liberation? That would make her older than Blake, though probably not by much, given her behavior.

“Oh stop,” Ruby said, blushing and wriggling in place. “I was, like, six. It couldn’t have been that wise.”

Blake put her arm around Ruby’s shoulder and pulled her in tight, ending her squirming.

“I’ve been living with Ruby for almost a year now,” Blake announced.

“Yes,” Penny said, “Ruby mentioned you two were dating. I’m thrilled to meet the woman who’s captured her heart.” She grabbed Blake’s free hand with both of hers and began vigorously shaking it up and down. “And another FAUNIS at that. It’s such a pleasure to meet you.”

Despite Blake’s metallic skeleton, it still felt like this woman was about to rip her arm off in her enthusiasm. When at last she stopped, Blake had to shake her hand to regain its feeling.

A staredown commenced, Blake’s stern silence versus Penny’s cheerful smile, until Ruby finally broke the tension.

“So, Penny, what brings you to Tukson’s?”

“I’m here to purchase a book,” she replied, removing just such an item from her bag. Enemy of Steel was the title, the first of a very popular series of crime novels. “It’s a gift for General Ironwood.”

“General?” Blake asked. “Are you in the military, then?”

“That’s correct. Junior Lieutenant Penny Polendina, Atlas 32nd Division, at your service.” She sketched a brief salute.

Atlas had a tendency to rely on military might to maintain control of its colonies and Eltanin, new, volatile, and politically complicated as it was, was of particular interest to every kingdom. It wasn’t too surprising to hear that Atlas forces were in the city, though the presence of a general was a bit unexpected. Even less expected was that Penny was a member of said military. The Atlas government had made heavy use of FAUNIS to bolster its armed forces back when they were considered property, but since their liberation, most FAUNIS had fled the military for a calmer, less deadly lifestyle. Very few had willingly returned to active service. Even less obtained a rank as high as Penny claimed to have.

“How long have you been serving?” Blake asked.

“All my life,” Penny answered. “Except for a few years after the Liberation, during which I met Ruby.”

Blake shook her head. She couldn’t imagine willingly returning to the people that had enslaved her. “Why would you go back?” she asked. “I’ve talked to other FAUNIS who were forced into Atlas’s military, and they all have horror stories about what they went through.”

Penny’s smile disappeared, leaving her looking serious for the first time since Blake had met her. “My decision to return was complicated and personal; it took years to make. But whatever you might have heard about Atlas military, there are good people there too, and they’re trying to do good work.” She waved her book around. “General Ironwood is a good man of fine character. He’s looked out and cared for me for most of my life and he’s earned my respect a thousand times over.”

“Okay!” Ruby declared, looking about ready to jump between the two. “We’re hitting on some pretty serious topics for a first meeting. Blake, have you found a book you like?”

Blake allowed the topic change, nodding and pulling a book she’d been eyeing off the shelf.

“Great! I’ve got what I want and Penny’s got what she wants. Let’s all go pay for our new books.”

Blake continued to hold on to Ruby’s shoulder, letting herself be dragged along by the smaller girl.

As their purchases were rung up by a very bemused-looking man who had probably heard every word they’d said, Ruby and Penny exchanged contact information, promising to catch up at a later date. The three left the shop together, at which point Penny went in one direction and Ruby and Blake another.

“Blake,” Ruby began, looking up at her from under Blake’s arm as they walked, “are you… jealous?”

Blake inhaled sharply. Is that what this was? The roiling in her stomach every time she thought of Penny being anywhere near Ruby, of the past the two had shared, was that jealousy? She’d never been jealous of someone before, always thought herself above that. She wasn’t sure what to do with it now that it had reared its head.

Amusement flickered across Ruby’s face. “You are, aren’t you?” Ruby laughed and Blake felt herself warm. Whether in anger, embarrassment, or shame she wasn’t sure, but she didn’t like this particular laugh.

Ruby must’ve noticed, because she quickly stopped. “I’m sorry,” she apologized. “I shouldn’t laugh at you. It’s just, you have nothing to be jealous of. I’ll admit I had a bit of a crush on her when I was little—” despite her attempts at reassurance, Ruby’s words were a lance through Blake’s core; she was finding that she very much detested the feeling of jealousy “—but she’s way too old for me to be serious about that now.”

That held up Blake’s thought process as she tried to line up the idea of the child-like woman she’d met with this new information. “How old are we talking?” she asked.

“I never asked exactly,” Ruby answered, “but she says she was one of the first FAUNIS ever made. So she’s at least 200.”

Blake froze in her tracks, turning her head back in a futile attempt to pick Penny out of the crowd of people on the street. She suddenly felt sick, and not because of jealousy this time. She’d just been incredibly rude to an elder. And not just any elder, but one of the oldest members of her species. After everything she’d survived, everything she must’ve gone through, now she had to put up with some upstart kid’s misplaced emotions. She was appalled; growing up, she would’ve been lucky to get away with a swat of the ears for such disrespect.

She finally let go of Ruby.

“I… really screwed up, didn’t I?” she said, more a statement than a question. “She was your friend, and I was so rude to her.”

“If it’s any consolation,” Ruby offered, “I’m not even sure she noticed. Her understanding of social nuance has never been great. Too much time spent around materia, I think.”

Blake shook her head. “That doesn’t make it okay. I need to apologize to her.”

“Well,” Ruby offered, “you can come with me when I meet up with her next. As long as you promise to play nice.”

Blake felt herself warm in well-deserved shame and bowed her head. “I’m sorry you had to put up with me like that.”

Ruby smiled, sidling up close and planting a kiss on her cheek. “You’re forgiven.” She bounced backwards, holding up the brown paper bag with her purchases inside. “Hey, I got you something.” She opened the bag and pulled out a book, holding it out for Blake to take. She’d been too busy glaring at Penny to notice what Ruby had gotten earlier, so she had no idea what to expect.

The cover had a cartoonish depiction of a woman dressed all in black in an alleyway, about to be attacked by a litter of decomposing streetcats. “Cyber-Ninja Vs. Zombie Cats? They had this there?” Blake was surprised to find herself tearing up a bit as she was hit by a burst of nostalgia. “This was one of the first books I ever read. I could probably quote it front-to-back I read it so many times.” She flipped through the pages, looking at the illustrations at the beginning of each chapter. She could vividly remember hiding under her covers in the dead of night, reading and rereading the book by the light of the moon.

“It’s a good book, then? I grabbed it on a whim, so I wasn’t sure.”

“Oh, it’s terrible,” Blake answered. “Incredibly cheesy and cliché, but in the best possible way.” She flipped the book closed and wrapped Ruby in a hug. “Thank you. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you.”

Ruby returned the hug. “That’s easy. You were yourself, and that’s amazing enough to be worth everything.”

[lamiasluck]

Smitten

Summary: Yan has to recover from another heartbreak from her senpai... As she's moping by herself, she realizes that something is watching her. An adorable kitten!

Characters: Yan, Bing, Dark, and others mentioned briefly

Words: 1727

Tags: @bingiplierdaily

Read on AO3!

-

Muffled sobs could be heard throughout the forest. Yan pressed herself against a nearby tree as she tucked her knees to her chest. As she ducked her head down, she reminisced on her hopeless situation.

Another senpai lost from her grasp. How could she have known that this senpai was married?

The blood staining her blade and body dried a long time ago ever since her horrid discovery. This senpai was supposed to be the one. He was completely different from the man she loved last week, afterall! If the other egos had to cope with her heartbreak then so be it. Not like this is the first time they had to endure one of Yan’s senpai driven meltdowns.

Mew!

Yan immediately snapped her head towards the sound. It sounded like… something squeaked? Whatever it was, it was rustling in a bush right next to her. She wiped her tears on her sleeve as she went to investigate. When she pushed away the branches and leaves and was met with…

Mew!

The cutest goddamn kitten she’s ever seen! A tiny munchkin kitten was staring at her with wide eyes. A single head tilt sent Yan in a fit of coos and praise.

“You’re so cute! Tiny baby!” All sense of sorrow was gone and replaced with immense joy. Cautiously, Yan reached over to pet the kitten, only to be surprised by the creature meeting her halfway and butting its head against her hand.

Brrp?

At least this time the tears Yan shed weren’t out of sorrow. This tiny kitten was the perfect solution for such a bad day. She could barely remember her past senpai’s name as she eagerly pet the purring cat. The kitten managed to find solace on Yan’s lap, clearly ecstatic while getting head scratches. Yan picked up the cat to search for its mother or owner. Sure, she just killed a couple in cold blood but she wasn’t going to steal a cat! That’d be too cruel even for her taste.

After a thorough search around the forest, Yan found nothing. Did someone abandon this poor creature? That monster! If Yan ever crossed paths with the culprit she wouldn’t hesitate to skewer them at the end of her sword.  

Yan stared at the kitten, the kitten stared back with curious eyes. Her mind was set. Somehow, someway, she was going to sneak this cat into the manor.

A couple of egos were lounging in the commons area, chatting away to their heart’s content. All was well until they saw Yan attempt to bolt through the room.

“Uh, Yan?” Bim stopped her in her tracks. “You alright there?”

“Yup, just peachy!” She was sweating bullets. Awkward arms covering her stomach hid the tiny lump that was a sleeping kitten under her shirt.

“You’re… you’re covered in blood,” Dr. Iplier wearily said.

“Oh, right. That.” Yan averted her eyes from the crowd. “Senpai didn’t notice me, but that’s okay! I feel better now.”

Everyone in the room was surprised by Yan’s lax attitude. Usually, a failed romance decommissioned the hopeless romantic for at least a couple days.

Mew-

Yan violently coughed to cover up the kitten’s meow. After her fit, she flashed a nervous smile. The others exchanged confused glances amongst each other, but Yan quickly beat them to the punch.

“I-I just feel a bit sick!” She fake coughed again. “I’m gonna go rest in my room. See ya guys!”

Before anyone could object, Yan ran away clutching her stomach. She burst through her room’s door, quickly locking it behind her with a sigh of relief.

Mrow?

“Yes, yes, I know. I’m sorry, but the others can’t know about you,” she replied sympathetically. That was a close one. Surely, the others would definitely continue their questioning with her terrible performance, but at least she had time to think of a plan.

She took the kitten out of her shirt and placed him on her bed, kneeling so that she was eye level with him. As the tiny cat explored the vast space, Yan took the time to admire how adorable he was. Like mentioned before, the kitten was a male. He had pretty orange and black calico spots and walked on the cutest, stubbiest little legs Yan’s ever seen.

Taking care of a cat must take a lot of responsibility, but Yan could take time off senpai hunting if it meant caring for this pretty kitty. He would need toys, food, a litter box… and about a dozen little hand knitted outfits she was going to make in her spare time.

“We can have matching clothes! What’d you think of that, sweetie?”

Mew!

Perfect, the plan was set. By tomorrow Yan would surround herself in yarn and kitty toys.

“You need a name… What do you think?”

Brrp?

The kitten gently batted at Yan’s face, clearly in a playful mood. After some thought, Yan figured out the perfect name.

“Aiko…?” The name felt right as she said it. A proud smile dawned on her lips as the kitten looked at her and tilted his head.

Mrow!

“That’s right, Aiko! My sweet, little love child!” She went overboard on the baby voice as she pet Aiko. The kitten was overwhelmed by the affection and was jumping for joy. The room was filled with coos and purrs, both Yan and Aiko were enjoying each other’s company.

Then there was a knock on the door.

Yan was frozen in place, staring at the door with scared eyes. Hesitantly, she stepped away from Aiko, despite the kitten’s protest, and walked towards the door. There was a faint, but distinct ringing noise on the other side.

Oh, fuck.

Yan cracked open the door slightly and made sure Aiko was out of sight.

“Hey, Dark,” Yan greeted the entity while giving him an awkward smile. “What brings you here?”

Dark looked at the younger ego with an unamused expression. The blood stained clothes and scared attitude certainly must be a sight to see. He exhaled loudly through his nose, everyday was eventful for the entity.

“I heard from the others that you were acting odd, even more so than usual.” Dark’s stern gaze pierced through Yan’s soul. She needed to stay strong. For Aiko!

“Yeah… senpai rejected me today,” she put on her best poker face as she replied.

“Clearly that’s not the only reason why you’re acting like this.”

“Um, I also feel kinda sick.” Alongside the fake cough, she also faked a little sniffle.

“What are you hiding, Yandere?” Dark was becoming impatient, his shell cracked slightly under the stress. Yan flinched with each flare of his shell.

She caved in.

“Well, when I was in the forest… I kinda,” she couldn’t think of the right words. “I might have-”

Mew?!

“I found a cat and I’m keeping him,” she rushed through her words as she opened the door more, revealing Aiko rolled over on his back.

The cat was out of the bag, Dark stood bewildered at the scene before him. Aiko and him seemed to have a staring contest with how intense their unbreaking eye contact was. Out of all the nonsense the entity had the deal with, this was up there. He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes for a few seconds.

“How are you going to take care of an animal? Do you know how much responsibility it takes to tend to a kitten?” He kept glancing back and forth at Yan and Aiko. “You’re out of the house far too often to have a pet.”

“I swear I’ll take care of Aiko! I’ll cut back on senpai hunting just please let me keep him,” Yan begged while giving Dark the best puppy eyes she could muster. Or would they be kitten eyes in this case? That’s a problem for another day.

Dark paused. “You’ll stop pursuing your senpais…?” he asked out of disbelief, to which Yan frantically nodded her head. He glanced at the kitten once more, the kitten stared back with hopeful eyes. “Fine.”

“Really?!”

“But you’re solely responsible for whatever mess your cat creates.” Dark sighed and started to walk out of the room. “ Don’t make me regret my decision, Yan.”

The second Dark closed the door behind him, Yan squealed and became all giddy. She picked up Aiko and cradled him in her arms.

“Did you hear that, sweetheart?”

Mrow!

“That’s right! You get to stay with me!” Aiko purred contently, kneading Yan’s shirt to get more comfortable. As Yan looked at her pride and joy, she thought about what to do next. Food, she should probably get some kitten food. She should probably change out of her bloody clothes too. She pulled out her phone and texted one of her friends for help.

Yan spent hours playing with Aiko before there was another knock on the door.

“Yo, dude? I got your stuff,” Bing yelled outside her door. As she let Bing in she was greeted with an ecstatic android and a large basket full of kitten goods. “Congrats on being a parent!”

“Oh my god!” She gasped as she looked at what Bing brought. “I thought you were just getting some food?” Not only did Bing get a dozen cans of kitten food, he also got a bed, litter, and a bunch of toys.

“Well,” he awkwardly scratched the back of his head. “You need more than some food for the little guy. I figured I might as well help ya out, yknow?”

Yan thanked her friend while showing the basket of goods to Aiko. The kitten meowed loudly once he smelled food, hungry after hours of playing.

“Aw~” Bing cooed as he saw Aiko. “He’s so fucking tiny, dude!”

“Hey,” Yan paused from opening up a can and scolded Bing. “Don’t swear in front of him, he’s a child!”

“Ah, right. He’s a baby.” Aiko was still preoccupied by the smell of food. “Sorry, little dude.”

“Never copy Uncle Bing, Aiko. It’ll only lead to trouble.”

Mew!

The two continued to laugh as they showed Aiko the various gifts brought for him. The kitten seemed satisfied with each item, meowing loudly and tumbling around. Other egos stopped by periodically to see the new member of the household. Everyone was smitten the second Aiko looked at them.

And Aiko was smitten with everyone too.  

[sentofighta]

modern verses for [ EINAR ]

------

Basic:

name: einar vilho

age: 24

status: single

occupation: cat cafe owner

family: parents. Uncle [Gustav]

resident: second floor flat [lives with his uncle]

cafe location: first floor flat (to his residency), near the local high school, across a flower shop, next to a maid cafe.

-------

Background:

Einar is the only child for his parents. Being the only kid, he was raised in a good moderate lifestyle condition. As he grew up, he took more interest in cats. He would forget himself whenever he spots a cat. He wanted to raise one but sadly, his father was allergic to them. His father did his best to take medication, be away as possible from the cat when he adopted one for Einar but no use. His father would stay sick for several days until his mother kindly explained that the cat is no good in the house as long as his father gets sick. Einar was not a spoiled child, he personally went back to return the cat but his mother stopped him. She gives him another suggestion ‘why not give it to uncle and every now and then you can visit him?’ the idea was perfect!

 Einar already goes to visit his uncle on summer vacation since he is an ex-soldier who lives on his own. Gustav declined to live with the family saying he got used to being alone and having people around is actually taxing for him. More to say, he is afraid of his own trauma and nightmares. How can he explain he cannot sleep for days to a kid like Einar? For Einar’s sake, he refused to stay with them. So, Gustav lived on his own because it was hard for him to find someone who would accept a broken man like him.

Immediately, the mother calls her brother and asks if they can keep the cat, [ Vitalis] V for short, with him. At first, Gustav said he remains in his antique shop on the first floor so taking care of a cat might be hard for him but he thought about it for a bit and agreed. It is the first favor Einar asks him for (more like his mother but) so he felt like he should act like a good uncle and be there for his nephew. Later that day, Einar with his parents travel to the part of town where Gustav lives in and drop Vitalis to him. Einar was emotional to leave V alone but he gave Gustav the ‘I know you will keep him in good shape’ kind of look, filled with trust and love. 

Since that day, Einar often gets home pretty much late because he travels to his uncle to check on V but with time he got accustomed to not having the cat around and focused on his study. 

Graduating from high school, Einar decided to move into his uncle’s place. He is not a kid anymore and he understood that his uncle needs someone to be with him despite how he says he is perfectly fine and does not want anyone to ruin his ‘party time with the ladies’ His parents supported his decision even his mother thanked Einar for trying to stick with her brother. Gustav was against this because he didn’t want to take responsibility for Einar but he found the boy in the apartment with his stuff whether he liked it or not. Gustav was upset but came around it once Einar lightened up the lonely atmosphere he lived in. The boy kept talking about what he is going to do now he graduated from school, and how much he Vitalis..and him, too. 

Einar enrolled to uni in the upcoming months in physics major. He was smart so he could not just enroll in anything that does not interest him nor pose a challenge for him. Einar did his best to complete his study in a short time. Ironically, he had a hunch that he was not going to work using his degree but find something...for him.

The reason Einar chose to run a cafe, to begin with, is to give a place for people who need a place of their own. A place they can eat, relax, and wind up from their hectic life. A place that can have the things they love--cats! as well as food of course and a good drink. When he was a student, he had to go back home or the uni library to study and honestly, with time, you get bored and mundane. If there was somewhere he could have went to that could provide some peace and entertainment at the same time for him. So, the cafe idea was something he thought about and prepared from it before his uni graduation.  

Running a cafe was not as easy as it sounds. Einar had to take a couple of workshops, between his classes. on how to run a business in order to know the ins and outs of such business. A fool would just dive right in business without looking at from different angles. Seeing that he could startup with a small shop, not extravagant, just ..a home-y like a shop as possible.  

As someone as anti-social as Einar, running a cafe sounds so out of character but he thought about his passion for cats. Any job beside this does not allow him to have enough time to be with his uncle and raise cats. So, in the truth, he just wanted a place he can feel comfortable working in, with his own rules, around cats, and pay well. He wants to be the boss of his own work and not working under someone.

The cafe’s location is Gustav’s old antique shop. Gustav gave Einar the place as a gift since he only opened the shop to fill his time which does not require moving and serving. Einar at first did not accept but Gustav insisted. He told him that a cafe on the first floor is a great idea since they can make sure all cats remain in one place and not constantly move them around from the house to the cafe if Einar decided to buy a new shop somewhere else. In name, Einar is the manager but on papers, it is Gustav because Einar wanted Gustav to feel he owns something and not feel he just rob him from his shop and home. 

Once the cafe was furnished and cats were adopted, Einar opened the cafe doors at the age of 22. As for its name, he reluctant wanted to give it a name but as a property, it had to be named so he left that part for Gustav who named it [Cake and Nyan] partly to get Einar to say ‘nyan’ every time he had to introduce the cafe. Einar was pissed off by the name but it was his fault for letting Gustav name it when he knows he would cook up something dumb like that. The fault is all his. But gradually he ignored it because it was easy for people to remember especially it was a hit for the schoolgirls who liked to ....play dumb and say it over and over in front of his shop while doing the ugly hand movement. As for the logo, his mother scribbled something for him after hearing about the cafe name. It looked silly but Einar accepted it. The cafe for Einar is created by all his family efforts.

The cafe when it started, it only had about 7 tables and the longish counter for customers to sit if they just want to drink and not eat something. As for the cats, there were about 12 of them. It was hard to adopt that many at first but he had the passion to impress the cat care center to let him adopt them all at once. The breeds were different going from Scottish folds, ragdoll, birman, chartreux, munchkin.  

After a year, the funding was not bad to increase the space, tables, cats and even hire a worker to help with cleaning and serving. Essentially, the cafe is the help yourself kind of cafe because einar was not keen on going around tables to get their orders so there are food containers/boxes to the right side where food is neatly and hygienically preserved and the customer. Customer is to choose from which box they want the food by writing down on a paper and then when they finish their orders they leave it in a tiny box and einar comes to pick up the papers and deliver the food based on what is written in the paper. Gustav was and still against this kind of system because it does not allow Einar to talk to people but enforce his ‘I don’t care’ attitude more but he can’t help it. 

Cafe layout (under construction because what is drawing a blueprint?)

From the left to the right:

Food sample corner.

This corner where food is presented, Einar makes sure to change the menu every day to give the customers a variety of choices. The presented food is actually plastic well made by one of his university acquaintances who knew of his little business endeavor. Each box is labeled with number and letter, in total there is 20 box. 10 are light meals, 10 are the snacks and sweets. Each box contain 3 items with (a,b,c) letters. For example, box 3 contains [(a) fruit salad, (b) steak, (c) vegetable soup ] so if a customer wanted steak they will tick down on box 3, letter b and write a number of serves, for one person, two etc, as well tick down the table number. the paper is placed in a box on the counter. Einar will prepare the requests shortly and bring them later on to the table.

Tables area:

Customers can sit there if they don’t want to sit in the Cats area to eat then walk around. 

Kitchen:

Off limit to customers, only workers can be there.

Counter corner:

Customers can sit there too especially if one person on their own comes and just want to enjoy a cup of coffee or tea. Einar often the customers on the counter by talking with them though not quite often especially when he does almost everything on his own.   

Couch:

Another comfortable place for people to sit down and watch the cats. Einar might allow customers to nap if there are not many customers around. But that is a rare case.

Cat area:

Filled with all sorts of cats toys, feather, wands, puzzle, electronic, sleeping bags, climb stairs, scratchers, etc. Anything you can imagine for cat entertaining is there. 

Take pic corner:

Is a corner dedicated to customers to take a picture with their favorite cat. Since taking pictures and filming is banned inside the cafe, this is a way for customers to get a chance to take a pic using the cafe polaroid camera. 

The cafe is open at certain hours, depending on the cats actually. The whole theme is for people to sit down and enjoy the company of the cats so if they are asleep and tired people will get bored. So, the cape is open at 7am and closes at 12pm. Cats at this time, eat their second breakfast and tend to sleep. Plus, at this hour, people are still at work so not that many come over and even if someone does, they are either asked to come back in an hour or Einar will let them in if they don’t cause much noise. 

The cafe reopens after 2pm till 7pm which usually most shops around closes. After 7, some students come over to study especially who want to have company are let in because they usually just sit in a corner and mind their business while watching tired and sleeping cats laying around, minus the hyperactive ones. However, Einar might not let them in every time, depend on his mood (and how they can convince him.) 

After the remodeling, Einar gets more cats to have in total 25 cats in there and he is planning to get more different cats. of course, each cat has its own name engraved on a cute stylish collar so the customer can converse with the cats and call them by their names. 

Gustav occasionally comes to play his guitar every now and then and sing if he feels like it, which is often a very popular segment in the cafe, most customers find it lovely to hear live music in the cafe.

List of the cats, names, types and personalities.

The new cats are generally younger than the previous dozen.

Einar remembers every cat names and what they like to eat and what they hate. He often encourages customers to feed the cats the things he personally gives them to bond with the cats. Female cats wear pink collars and Male cats wear Blue collars. A sign in each corner to remind customers that there are cats with disabilities and they should take note of that. Also, how to handle the cats if they don’t know what they should do. Instructions of some sort. Also the list of the cat’s names so customers can know the cats without looking at their collars. Regular visitors often get special treatment like they can take more pictures, eat the special dish for that day, etc.

Einar is very, very adamant about the rules in the cafe. 

no recording whatsoever, or taking pictures. (unless it was for a good reason like report, newspaper, school project, etc.)

hit a cat, and you are banned from sitting one foot in here after being personally kicked by einar.

do not be rude to anyone in here

the cats for everyone, do not monopolize a cat UNLESS the cat prefers you

do not feed the cats!!!!! DO NOT! 

no fights inside the cafe

no date quarrels in the cafe

bathrooms are not for lovemaking

keep the place clean or you will be banned from coming in

Do not sleep in the cafe

and of course, do not try to steal a cat

verse tag: ⌈⌈verse[modern cat cafe]. (einar)

more information when verse is developed!

[soaringlanddormitory]

Takashi/Naoki: “Forget it, you’re a fucking asshole.”, Takeshi/Manami: “Are you hurt?” “No.” “Then why are there bruises all over your face?”; Riku/Yuriko: “OH you’re jealous!”, Toshio/Michiko: “Do you think the moon is jealous of how pretty you are?”

YES!! I love all of these!! They fit them so much!!!

Takashi/Naoki

If you were a normal student, you’d probably never approach Naoki- you wouldn’t even think about doing it. He was a delinquent who scared off students- hell, even expelled them. There were some people who went against him- and it didn’t end well.

Now, it could be different if you’re actually someone that he couldn’t take out so easily. If you were considered as an Elite Ten member, he won’t be able to take you out so easily- especially if you were in a higher seat than him. No Elite Ten fully argued with him besides a specific two- and this was Riku and Takashi.

And right now, he pissed off one from the two.

It was reasonable why the blonde was so pissed off at him. He was able to expel someone close to him- it was one of his underclassmen in the middle school division that he got pretty attached to. There was no reason for him to do that at all.

Takashi banged the door open, and he noticed that the male wearing glasses raised his head and began smirking at the sight of the blonde who seemed extremely pissed off. “Eizan Naoki.” His unwanted visitor said his actual name instead of an insult, and he could already tell how mad he was.

“That’s me.” He smirked slightly and it seemed that he was ready to face all the anger that would be thrown at him. “Is there anything you want to say to me?” He was quite amused to see the male walk closer, and he was expecting a throw of insults- but it wasn’t that. It was much worse, and probably unexpected.

Takashi pushed everything off the desk of Naoki, not caring on what it was. A couple of papers fell on the ground and even some other significant stuff. He didn’t care about the glass that broke, nor the phone that fell with it. He absolutely also did not care about the glare Naoki was now giving. “There’s so much fucking shit I want to talk to you about.” 

The Kuga that was present usually held back and censored his own words- but sometimes, he went out of his own cursing rules if he couldn’t hold it back. “Let’s see if you can actually convince me to say anything then.” Naoki stated before leaning back on his chair. “No matter what you say, it can’t bring your precious underclassmen back.”

Takashi ended up slamming the table and Naoki never felt himself freeze up because of him before. Was this really Takashi Kuga in front of him? The person in front of him had his eyes look so cold, and he even gave an even darker expression that anyone else he’s seen…. The mere strength he placed in slamming the table was enough to draw out blood from his skin. “Forget it, you’re a fucking asshole.”

The man sitting down couldn’t find a reply to his words, but he still acted tough, even giving him a grin. “Giving up so easily?”

“I don’t need to talk to you. All I need is to prove something to you.” With that Takashi pulled his hand away and left the blood marks on his wooden desk before walking out of the room. “Watch me fuck you up in our next shokugeki, and we’ll see who really deserves getting expelled.”

TakaMi

Ever since the day Takeshi defended Manami, he became close to her. He would have never thought that she’d feel so attached to someone besides the people in her dorm or in the Polar Star Dormitory. And if she says attached… she means really attached. She felt as connected to him as she is with her other dorm mates!

She went over to gym so that she could find someone that she wanted to give a gift too. A small appreciation gift! She felt like it’s been a while ever since she talked to him and she wanted to change that! She looked around the gym and she actually found the male she was looking for. Her eyes lit up and she ran up to him from the back before giving him a tight hug.

“Take-chi!” She exclaimed loudly as she continued hugging him, and she began rubbung her face on his back, acting like a cat who snuggled to its owner. She felt him tense up for a bit but he ended up looking at her hands before holding it slightly. 

“Manami. You came.” He said softly but he refuses to turn around to face her. If she were to see him, she’d probably be worried. He just went through a fight with a couple of people and they were able to land some hits on his face. He didn’t want to worry the female at all. “But I think it’s getting pretty late. You should go back to your dorm.”

“Huh?” She was a bit confused by his words and she began puffing her cheeks. “It’s just 3pm…” She mutters. She knew it would only take about 5 minutes to arrive her by walking- so she didn’t think the time would go by so fast. “Do you not want to see me right now? Because that’s-”

Before she could continue, he disobeyed his own plan and began facing her and lifting her up. “I don’t want to see you…? Impossible. That’s never the case. I enjoy seeing you too much and I wish we see each other. Always.”

Manami stared at the couple of bruises on his face and she gasped before carefully cupping his cheeks. “Are you hurt?!”

“No.”

“Then why are there bruises on your face?!”

Takeshi became very quiet before he started grumbling. “… I had a fight with people.” That’s all he said to her before he shifted his eyes away, not being able to face her. “… And I didn’t want to worry you.”

She sighed before she ruffled the hair of the male. “You could have said so… I was worried that you might have wanted to avoid me.”

“Of course not. I’d never. I love you too much for that.”

She began smiling again before she placed her hands off his head. “For now… We should really get you all patched up! Let’s go to the Clinic!”

YuRiku

One thing that Riku knew about himself is that he was envious easily. The first time he realized it was when he was envious of his sister to the point that he’d actually get to want a different cooking partner as her. He’d be jealous over little things such as how people look at her or the attention she was getting- so he knew it very well.

Of course, jealousy wasn’t only for his sister… It was for someone else. For the girl he liked and he wanted to try and hide it from her. He didn’t want to show her the truth of or his feelings towards her. So he could sometimes just stay there quietly and only stare at her.

There was someone from the 112th generation who was with Yuriko that day, and Riku only assumed it was just a kind of friendly meeting that he shouldn’t pay attention to. He was about to walk away to avoid any conflict, but the moment he noticed the man slide his arm around the girl, he began squinting. Who the fuck does this man think he is?

He watched from afar, and he could feel that Yuriko may have disliked his touches because she pushed his arm away and the grin on her face was suddenly replaced with a frown. The male continued to talk to her and she began looking at him with disgust.

“I told you to get your hands off of me, senpai.” Yuriko stated and before the male could actually something back- Riku went in between them and instantly glared at the male. “Riku-kun?” She was surprised to see him out of nowhere and she only stopped talking once he began to speak.

“Doing anything inappropriate is against the school rules. Touching people unless they actually like is against my morals. Having such reaction when a female is around is absolutely disgusting. Leave before I actually show how pissed I am through words. I don’t care if you’re a senpai. You are nothing close to me, and I believe and that would be the best choice.”

The upperclassmen definitely noticed who he was so he only left the two alone and Riku sighed loudly. “Riku-kun, you really didn’t need to do that. I could have handled it myself.” She said this to him and Riku only looked away from her and she began pouting.

“I’d rather do it before anything further happens, Yuriko.”

It took a couple of seconds before Yuriko actually noticed that the pissed off expression of Riku never changed, even if the man he scared of was nowhere to be seen. A sly smirk came to her face, knowing the exact reason. “OH you’re jealous!” She teased and his eyes widened. “You’re jealous that someone touched me… and it wasn’t you?”

“W-What?! It’s not that at all!” He claimed, his cheeks getting red. “Why would I be jealous?!”

“Ah~! Hahaha~! You’re way too cute~!” She cupped his cheeks and he didn’t know how to react or feel about what she was currently doing. “Do you want me to kiss you to show you I only belong to you~?”

“No!”

ToshiMichi

Nights weren’t so lonely as long as you were with people. Being able to spend time with people that you love were great was a way to become closer to them! And that’s what Toshio tried to do with Michiko. He wanted to get closer with her. They could have been seen as close enough by other people, but of course- he wanted more than just being close.

Michiko had no idea how he convinced her to lie down on grass and watch the stars with him, but being honest- she loved the sight. She loved every moment of it. Toshio was surprisingly knowledgeable about the stars, and he even talked about different constellations with her... Even if she loved reading, she never took too much time in studying astronomy.

She knew a couple of details here and there but she has to admit- Toshio knew about this more than she did. She loved learning about new things, and she couldn’t really get tired of gaining it. So yes, this night was something to remember and even if she didn’t know how this all happened, she accepted it with open arms.

“Do you got any questions you wanna ask, Michiko?” He turns to her and grins. “Because I consider myself as a rather smart person when it comes to space.” He brings this up and she only tries to think of a question, and she only ends up shaking her head. She didn’t have anything to ask. “How about I give you three minutes to think of a question so you could ask me something?”

She rolled her eyes before nodding her head. “Fine. I’ll think of one. I don’t know why you want a question from me so badly though.” She closed her eyes and tried to actually think of a question. Maybe there was one. “You mentioned about all the constellations, so what’s your favorite?”

“Easy. Libra. Because it gives me the vibe of fair judgement.” He answers with a smile. “I’ve always wanted fair judgement around, no matter where you come from. Look at me, I came from a diner and I’m pretty great.” This caused the two to laugh and he stopped laughing first. “Alright! My turn to ask!”

So this was his plan huh? “What is it?” She raised an eyebrow, actually curious on what possible word he could use and then he only ended up moving closer to her. She felt her heart beat fast once he got way too close. She was tempted to push him away but she thought that maybe she could back away after he asked his question.

Was it a question to check if she was listening to all his blabbering about space?

“Do you think the moon is jealous of how pretty you are?”

She blushed red once he asked this question, but she instantly sat up. “Hanging out is over. I’m going back inside.” She was way too flustered by his sudden question and she couldn’t handle it right now... Just when she thought it was a serious question. She stood up and began walking back to the dorm and he only laughed as he continued to lie down on the grass.

[mexhunter976]

Dwight's Second Life

Dwight Second Life

Dwight's Name In Second Life

Dwight Schrute Second Life Quote

Dwight's Second Life Episode

Everyone's favorite workplace comedy, The Office, is now on Peacock! Watch the mockumentary sitcom about the everyday lives of the workers at Dunder Mifflin, a paper company in Scranton, Pennsylvania.

Second Life is an online virtual world, developed and owned by the San Francisco-based firm Linden Lab and launched on June 23, 2003. It saw rapid growth for some years and in 2013 it had approximately one million regular users; growth stabilized and by the end of 2017 active user count had declined to 'between 800,000 and 900,000'. In many ways, Second Life is similar to massively multiplayer. Describes Second Life,1 an online virtual community.2 Dwight explains that he “signed up for Second Life about a year ago” because “back then, his life was so great he literally wanted a second one. Absolutely everything in Dwight’s Second Life was the same. Except in Second Life, Dwight could fly.”3. Dwight also acts as the Lancer for Gail in her leadership of the Old Town girls. Gail's more vengeful and murderous than Dwight's strategic approach, but Gail's unquestionably in charge and Dwight doesn't forget it for a moment. Woody plays this role against his friend Eric in Quantum and Woody. In Runaways Nico was originally this to Alex. Second Life is always wonderful, sometimes weird, and 100% wow-worthy. Explore Now Remote Meetings Redefined Make meetings fun again with virtual hangout spaces, classes and conferences. For over a decade, leading companies and educators have trusted Second Life for branded social spaces for events and remote meetings.

Second Life is not a game: it is a multi-user virtual environment. It doesn't have points, or scores, or winners, or losers.

'Oh, it has losers,' our somewhat geeky hero Jim states, watching his co-worker and erstwhile beet farmer Dwight play Second Life. The Office has also prominently featured Call of Duty in a past episode, so having the sitcom wander into the world of gaming isn't a big surprise. While the appearance of Second Life may seem random in last night's episode, if you think about it, the story is pretty sad.

Dwight just lost his girlfriend after mercy-killing her cat Sprinkles, and now has to watch one of his co-workers put the moves on her. When this all gets too much to handle, he retreats into Second Life, where his name is Dwight Shelford, his job is selling paper, but he can fly. It's like role-playing yourself with one notable super-power.

It's a game reference that's in-character, makes sense, and is also strangely bitter-sweet. This is yet more evidence that Second Life is the lamest game with the absolute best PR team.

Frank's Thoughts

As though I didn't love The Office enough as it is, the nods to the gaming world are much appreciated. I'm glad to see the show tackle games that aren't necessarily the 'obvious' choices: god forbid World of Warcraft makes an appearance. I will say this, though: not having hour-long episodes every week makes me sadface.

By/July 8, 2019 5:43 pm EDT

The Office may have shut its doors in 2013, but Rainn Wilson's hilarious portrayal of Assistant (to the) Regional Manager Dwight K. Schrute remains a part of the pop culture consciousness. After all, Dwight is a hard-hearted geek, a wannabe martial artist, a neo-fascist salesman, and an absolute lapdog to Regional Manager Michael Scott, and Wilson's performance created one of the most well-loved misanthropes in TV history.

Initially based on Gareth Keenan (Mackenzie Crook) of the original UK version of The Office, Schrute went on to become his own unique freak. He's the kind of guy who distrusts everyone but Michael, yet he's willing to believe faxes from Jim Halpert claiming to be Dwight from the future. He's loud, intense, and a hilarious collection of complex contradictions that combined to make one of television's most memorable dunces. However, even though Dunder Mifflin might have closed down a while ago, there's still a lot you might not know about the owner of Schrute Farms. From who almost played the character to the ways art wound up imitating life, here's the untold truth of Dwight Schrute.

Dwight Schrute could've been Seth Rogen

Dwight Schrute and Rainn Wilson seem as inseparable as beets, bears, and Battlestar Galactica. As difficult as it is to imagine anyone other than Wilson playing Dunder Mifflin Scranton's fire safety chief, it's utterly impossible to contemplate what would've happened if one famous comedian who auditioned for the role had actually gotten it.

In 2013, the final season of The Office was released on DVD, and included in the extras is a short video revealing some of the actors who auditioned for the series. Among other noteworthy surprises, Bob Odenkirk of Better Call Saul fame auditioned for the role of Michael Scott, Kathryn Han tried out for Pam, both John Cho and Adam Scott took a crack at Jim Halpert. But perhaps most surprising of all is that Seth Rogen tried his best to land the part of Dwight Schrute.

We don't see much of Rogen in the clip. He talks about the benefits of cleaning someone's wounds with urine, and then the video moves on to Odenkirk doing Michael Scott. But what we do see of Rogen makes it clear he wouldn't have been within a galaxy of the same character Wilson gave us. Reading the same line, Dwight would be obnoxious and condescending, speaking as if he were delivering the lesson to a child. Rogen seems absolutely likable, not very bright, and not at all Schrutish — kind of like Kevin the accountant if he knew a few more factoids and was awake for more of the day.

Rainn Wilson wanted to be the regional manager

Throughout the course of The Office, Dwight Schrute both worships Michael Scott and has ambitions for his office. And in one of the many ways in which life imitates art, Rainn Wilson didn't initially audition for the role of assistant (to the) regional manager. He wanted to be the big dog himself.

Much like Bob Odenkirk, Wilson went into his audition taking aim at the role of everybody's favorite regional manager, Michael Scott. Alas, it wasn't to be, possibly because, as Wilson puts it, his audition amounted to a 'terrible (Ricky) Gervais impersonation.'

Considering how amazing Wilson is as Schrute, as well as Steve Carell's success as the equally clueless Michael Scott, it's probably for the best. It might be interesting to take a peek in the alternate reality where Wilson got cast as Michael Scott, but it's not interesting enough to stay there. Although, we'd definitely love to hear that Gervais impression.

Both Dwight Schrute and Rainn Wilson have the strength of a little baby

When Michael Scott calls his employees into the conference room for an impromptu group therapy session in season three's 'Grief Counseling,' Dwight Schrute tells one of the most insane stories to ever come out of his face. While most of the office is tight-lipped, Dwight volunteers a grotesque tale about his birth. He claims he shared his mother's uterus with a twin, but that he 'resorbed' his counterpart, effectively killing it. Schrute says he doesn't regret the in utero murder because it gifted him with the superhuman 'strength of a grown man and a little baby.'

It doesn't seem coincidental then, that Rainn Wilson takes the first five paragraphs of his 2016 memoir The Bassoon King to describe the 'doughy giganticness' of his head at birth. The first line of the book reads, 'I had the biggest, fattest head of any baby that was ever born into the human species.' He describes his infant dome as a 'white, bloated, Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade head,' says he looked like 'Louie Anderson with the head of E.T.,' and describes his younger self as a 'Jabba the Hutt-like infant that sounds like a calf being strangled by an octopus.'

It doesn't seem like a huge leap to imagine Wilson has a few issues with his family's baby photos, and that those issues were possibly reflected in his character's story about 'resorbing' his twin like a tiny cannibal.

Dwight Schrute almost took us to The Farm

In January 2012, Deadlinereported NBC was considering an Office spin-off with Rainn Wilson starring as Dwight Schrute. The Farm would've been a family comedy in a setting Office fans had grown familiar with over the years: Schrute Farms. Among others, the series would have featured Matt Jones (a.k.a. Badger from Breaking Bad) as Dwight's cousin Zeke, veteran character actor Tom Bower as Dwight's Nazi Uncle Heinrich, Thomas Middleditch of Silicon Valley fame as Dwight's Bigfoot-hunting brother Jeb, and Venezuelan-born Majandra Delfino as Dwight's sister Fannie. Of course, Michael Schur would reprise his role as Dwight's creepy, neck-bearded cousin Mose.

For better or worse, The Farm wasn't meant to be. In October 2012, Wilson tweeted the news that NBC had passed on the series, although he'd 'had a blast making the pilot.' The pilot for The Farm was then recut as a single Office episode in the show's final season. But would that story have worked as a full-fledged series? It's hard to say, but Vulture writer Matt Schimkowitz notes that Dwight's popularity came mainly from him acting as an antagonist to Jim Halpert. Making him the lead in a comedy series about a disjointed family that he's expected to bring together changes Dwight's role dramatically to 'the likable hero we've never seen.' In other words, maybe it's best that we never visited The Farm.

Dwight Second Life

Schrute Farms is real.. sort of

When Dwight lures Ryan to his farm in season three's 'The Initiation,' it's little more than a beet farm where teens like to hook up. But by the time Jim and Pam visit in season four's 'Money,' Schrute Farms has been transformed into a bed and breakfast. In spite of a slight overabundance of manure-related activities, Pam and Jim leave a glowing review for Schrute Farms on TripAdvisor. We're led to believe this is mostly because the couple feels sorry for Dwight after being subjected to the loud, sorrowful moans he falls asleep making every night since his split with Angela.

If you're an Office fan this is all old news to you. But what you may not know is that while The Office is over and The Farm never got to materialize, TripAdvisor has made Schrute Farms a reality. Sort of.

That's right. TripAdvisor maintains a page for Schrute Farms, listed as a bed and breakfast in Honesdale, PA. Apparently, you can actually book a stay there, though, we have no idea where you go if you bother doing that. The farm currently has over 1100 reviews giving it a rating of 4.0 or 'very good.' Some of the more recent reviews include 'visitors' calling the farm's beets 'Elvis in plant form,' praising Dwight's power drink 'made from beet runoff,' and happily proclaiming, 'I couldn't have been more satisfied (that's what she said) with my stay.'

Schrute Space

From his obsession with having a second Second Life to his epic sales struggle with a (supposedly) self-aware A.I., Dwight is well-known for some of his online shenanigans. What you might not know is that Rainn Wilson used to maintain a blog in Dwight's voice. Unfortunately, it doesn't exist anymore, but NBC used to host Schrute Space, which let fans read Dwight's thoughts on different Scranton radio stations or his invaluable martial arts tips. While NBC eventually opened the blog up to the masses, it started as something that existed exclusively on the set of The Office.

The computers on The Office https://mexhunter976.tumblr.com/post/658079246720368640/go-to-spotify. 's set were networked together, and Wilson would write the Dwight-voiced blog while scenes were being the filmed so the rest of the cast could enjoy it. Wilson told The Morning Callthat during the filming of the pilot episode, 'The producers saw (the blog) when they walked by and thought it was funny.' A few emails later between NBC and Wilson, and Schrute Space was born. Now, if only NBC would bring it back, the world would be a better place.

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Dwight Schrute was almost assistant to the president

Over a decade ago, Senator John McCain — then the Republican candidate for the United States presidency — appeared on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. When asked if he'd picked a running mate, McCain apparently didn't remember the character's name, but the senator joked his vice presidential pick would be 'that guy from The Office.' Host Jon Stewart clarified for viewers, 'You heard it here first, Dwight Schrute.'

About a week later, Dwight Schrute responded. Appearing as a guest on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Rainn Wilson read from a list addressed to McCain. Schrute agreed to be McCain's running mate, but only if his demands were met. The demands included a flamethrower, an Iron Man suit, government research into beets as an alternate fuel source, and the right to use Air Force One whenever he wanted (with the added note that, while he piloted Air Force One, he was only to be referred to as 'Iceman').

Dwight's Name In Second Life

Obviously, it was all just a joke, so we never got to see Dwight retool Mussolini speeches for press conferences at the White House Rose Garden. It's regretful not only because of the lost comedic potential, but considering who McCain ultimately chose as a genuine running mate, it isn't like Dwight could've done any worse.

The Bassoon King

In 2016, Rainn Wilson's memoir The Bassoon King: Art, Idiocy, and Other Assorted Tales from the Band Room was released, and like many nonfiction books, a different author was invited to write the foreword. Namely, the foreword is credited to 'Dwight Kurt Schrute,' and it's written entirely in Dwight's disdainful voice.

Schrute spends the first bit of the foreword discussing why he's agreed to write it, which he clearly doesn't want to do. He explains, 'When someone asks me to do a task, the first thing I do is determine whether the request is some sort of trick.' The job of writing the foreword survives his exacting vetting process only because Dwight can't 'adequately determine if this request is a trick.' He tells us he doesn't like The Bassoon King or any books that involve 'funny stories' regarding some stupid actor,' but he then proceeds to list a long number of exceptions (books by Charles Bronson, any Game of Thrones cast member, Sam Neill, Dolph Lundgren, etc). Dwight calls Rainn Wilson a 'laughable idiot,' and eventually reveals he has only agreed to write the foreword for the money.

Before turning things over to Wilson, Dwight gives us some other book ideas like Mennonite Ghost Stories, a 'fun games for kids' book titled Hold This Book over a Candle, and the revealing Conspiracy Theories: Who's Really Behind Them? Seriously, we'll take a whole book written by Dwight, please.

Dwight Schrute and the next generation

Even though he's gone, he's not forgotten, and the legend of Dwight K. Schrute lives on. On Halloween 2016 — a little over three years after The Office's finale aired on NBC — Jenna Fischer tweeted a photo sent to her by a fan of a pint-sized version of Dwight Schrute.

Dwight Schrute Second Life Quote

With a disapproving scowl and Schrute's signature hairstyle, Toddler Dwight wears a yellow short-sleeved dress shirt, a sticker announcing 'Hello, My Name Is Dwight Schrute,' and holds what is presumably a carefully grown Schrute Farm beet. Behind him, a blackboard leans against the wall and spells out one of Dwight's early and memorable lines: 'How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jack hammer, merciless, insatiable.' Of course, if the young Dwight happened to put the words up himself, then his age and comparative lack of schooling gives him more excuses than the original Dwight for not knowing the difference between three words and eight.

Dwight's Second Life Episode

Even though it's one of the most popular shows on Netflix's streaming service, The Office will sadly leave Netflix in 2021. Still, it seems inevitable that younger fans will come to know the joy that is The Office, including the nuggets of Dwight Schrute's invaluable wisdom like, 'When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life.' Expect more unsmiling alpha males to become fans of the beloved beet farmer for years to come.

[shaudswrites]

Rain

Everyone knew Jason has some connection to Talia, and Steph thinks she might have finally figured it out.

Stands fine on its own, but part of a much longer fic that can be read right here:

Say what you want about Gotham’s service delivery, and, well everything else too, but she had herself some pretty big mail boxes.

Huge metal things on most corners of the older parts of the city, they were holdovers from the days when people had still sent mail and the thriving metropolis had needed that much space for all of it.

That wasn’t an important fact, not something life changing or even minorly interesting, but it was a part of where it started.

If you were being technical, it really started when Cass and Steph had come upon a shipment at the docks on their obligatory girls night patrol. It had nothing at all to do with the bigger case all of them were caught up in.

Not drugs or kidnappings, just a certain type of alcohol that had some very… interesting effects on some people and was therefore banned in their good city. As with most illegal but not immediately damaging consumables, that only made it more popular and every bar from sleazy to the highest of high ends liked having some of it in stock.

Cass didn’t think much of it, and neither did Steph until she turned up at The Dive the next day to find Jason standing morosely outside of the door, staring at an ‘out of business’ sign crafted out of an old beer crate and fixed to the door with masking tape.

“You’ve killed me.” He said simply, leaning forward to rest his head against the door with a dull thunk that kind of sounded like it hurt, but Jason gave no indication either way.

Before she could ask him exactly what had happened, he was talking again, tilting his head so she could see just one of his teal eyes peeping out from the damp curls that had flopped across his forehead.

“Bats arrested the owner last night, fucker’s too paranoid to give anyone else the key.”

“Oooooh.” Steph clasped her hands behind her back and rocked on her heels. “So no more chili-fries, then? Yikes.”

“ H’s got connections. ’ll be out in like two months.” Jason mumbled into the sign.

“Then why’re you being all grouchy?” Steph took a step forward, wincing as her foot came down in a puddle and the filthy water sunk into her sneakers.

Jason turned around to rest his back against the door and raked a hand through his wet hair as he tilted his head back to look at the clouds that were still dropping rain on everything.

With not a trace of a smile and with his face as serious and blank as she’d ever seen it. “I’ll starve to death before that.” His voice rose a little at the end and a chuckle escaped Steph’s lips before she could smother it behind her hands.

“You think it’s funny?” He asked, mouth agape like she’d done the most offensive thing imaginable. “Do you know how much fuel it takes to maintain all of this?"He waved his hand in a gesture indicating his whole body before slumping against the door and hanging his head, bringing a hand to fist the fabric at his chest. "I’ll waste away without this place, or have to live off…” He flopped a hand in circles near his head as he looked for the words, “cans of spam. Might as well crawl back into my grave now. ”

“Are you done yet?” Steph asked in her Barbara voice, folding he arms across her chest and giving him the most unimpressed look she could muster.

Jason gasped and peered at her through his hair again, and if she was going to focus on anything he was saying, he was going to have to stop ’ doing’ that. “I can’t believe this.” He shook his head, something close to a pout on his lips. “This is all Bruce’s fault.”

“You can’t blame Bruce for me and Cass…”

“I’m blaming him.” Jason cut in.

“Come on Jay, I know this great waffle house.” She wrapped one of her arms around his and tried to tug him out of the alley, but he didn’t even budge.

“Won’t make it to the waffle house, so weak.” He whispered piteously.

“Poor baby.” Steph patted his head, resisting her sudden urge to run her hand though the rain slicked curls, even more so when he leaned into her touch, determined to keep up his act. “I still have Talia’s number; do you want me to call her to bring you a snack?” Steph paused, a thought striking her and drew her hand back. “Wait.”

“So she can shut the place down for good and make me cook for myself?” Jason scoffed. “I really would rather die.”

“That’s why you like her so much.” Steph brought her thumbnail between her teeth and she stared at him, trying to find the words she needed to string together to make sense of it.

“What?” Jason’s face twisted into the look he got whenever she was getting close to something she could tease him about and they both knew it.

“She moms you.” Steph said, a huge grin splitting across her face.

“No.” Jason straightened, up and jabbed a finger sharply in her direction.

“She’s like, totally your mom!”

“Come on; let’s just hit the damned waffled house.” He said, gently pulling her to the end of the alley.

Because Talia practically stalked Jason, and fed him, and brought him birthday gifts that he obviously loved, and scolded him for eating junk food and, 'disproved of his life choices’. Everyone back at the cave was wracking their brains trying to figure out Jason’s connection to Talia. Why she was going through so much trouble for him, what she’d do if she got a hold of him, when really it was just her weird, scary assassiny way of smothering him.

“And you’re her precious little baby.”

Before Steph knew it, she was laughing. Not so much because it was funny, but because she was more relieved than she would have thought she’d be when she figured it out. She still hated Talia, boy did she hate that woman, but it wasn’t something she had to worry about getting Jason hurt anymore, and that lifted a layer of stress from her chest she hadn’t even known she was carrying before.

“Are you done yet?” Jason didn’t share the same sentiments at her revelation, and stood stiffly, frowning at her with his arms crossed.

“No.” She laughed some more. This time because his reaction really ’ was’ funny, and also somewhat adorable.

“You got no clue how messed up that that idea is.” Jason growled out at shifted his eyes somewhere past her.

“Bet she’s where you learned to be all scary.” Steph brought her hands up to make claws in front of her face and deepened her voice. Jason turned something that was maybe a version of the batglare on her until her laughter died down and she managed to straighten up, her hands clasped behind her back as she leaned towards him. “So which part of me are you gonna threaten to send to my mother in a box for this?”

“All of you.” He lunged at her and before she could get out of the way, he’d lifted her off her feet. Cradling her tightly in his arms he carried her to the nearest of the big mailboxes that weren’t even used anymore.

The people that hadn’t – or couldn’t, considering the part of town they were in – taken shelter in the pouring rain paid them no mind beyond a few weird looks, and Stephanie was laughing too hard to put up much of a struggle.

Nothing would have come of it otherwise, but it seemed it just wasn’t their day when a police cruiser approached and it was –surprise of surprises – a cop that actually took his job seriously.

The cruiser slowed down just as she was doing a very good impression of a cat, and Jason the kid trying to push it into a bathtub. Her feet were propped on the edges of the box and he held her with both arms around her midsection, twisting her from side to side trying to get one of those legs inside.

“Keep moving.” Jason said as the cop came to a halt besides him before the cop a chance to do more than open his mouth. “This doesn’t concern you.”

Jason pulled her back and finally managed to get one of her legs into the mailbox when the incredulous expression on the cop’s face almost got another bout of laughter out of her.

“You can’t say that to a real cop.” Steph whispered harshly and more than loud enough for the cop to hear as she kicked her leg, trying to dislodge it from the metal box

“But it doesn’t.” Jason’s voice was so earnest, his eyes so wide with innocence she might have even believed it at one point, if she didn’t know him and he hadn’t twisted her right them to get her other leg into the mailbox.

“My friend’s just being an asshole officer.” Steph tried to give the officer an apologetic look, because it was obvious she was going to have to be the serious one in that situation. She yelped when her shirt rode up just an inch and the cold metal of the box brushed against the small of her back.

“Now when you get in there, check if there’s an old ass letter with a stamp and…”

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to step away from the young lady.” The cop was stepping out of the car now, gun drawn.

The blank stare Jason gave him was supremely unimpressed and his arms wrapped minutely tighter around Steph’s midsection. He was warm, Steph realized, even soaking wet while she shivered in the rain.

“Yeah, put me down Jay.” Steph said, even as she leaned into his warmth and kinda wished he’d keep him hands where they were.

She knew immediately she’s made a mistake when he grinned, the rain bringing out the color in his eyes and making a mess of his hair made his grin more impish that it would have been otherwise.

“Okay.” He pulled her out of the mailbox and dropped her.

She let out a high-pitched squeaking sound at the cold shock of the puddle she splashed into. Jason smiled at the cop – who looked at both Steph and Jay like he thought they were either drunk or high – and clasped his hands behind his back in mimicry of Steph’s earlier pose.

“She wouldn’t visit her poor old mother.” He said. “I was trying to help.”

The cop rolled his eyes and finally put away his gun. “You kids… just get where you’re going and don’t cause any trouble.”

“Too bad you can’t arrest people for being assholes.” Steph grumbled, and curled up a little at the derisive look the cop sent her.

After a moment of deliberation, Jason bent a little to help her up. She accepted his hand, but tugged harshly just as he was about to pull her up.

His landing besides her in the gutter splashed her with more water as well, but the shock in his face made it worth it.

She chuckled into her fist and he buried his laughter into his hands.

The staff wouldn’t let them into the waffle house, soaked through with both rain and gutter water as they were, and they were forced to find another source of lunch.

Jason did, in fact, survive the journey to the food truck near Gotham U and they ended up in a sheltered awning on her college campus with polystyrene containers of popcorn chicken. She got s few nods from people who knew her, but no one bothered them.

He did jump about three feet into the air when she sneezed though.

“I really hope we don’t get sick.” She sniffled.

Jason scoffed and took a bite of his food. “I don’t 'get’ sick.”