#i prefer to have at least $300 in savings at all times for emergencies. and i Have Not Had That the past few months hahaha

[orcelito]

weeping cat 5ever as i watch a literal 83% of all of my money go down the drain for rent

[homoose]

Through the Smoke

Request: could you do spencer x bau reader where they aren't dating yet but they both feel for each other? where both spencer and reader are very closed off people and the whole team knows that. but after one rough case on the flight back, they're both just exhausted mentally and physically and seek comfort in each other. then spend the night at reader's apartment and kiss for the first time there. sorry if this is specific but thank you (:

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: angst with a happy ending

Warnings/Includes: typical CM stuff, cults, kidnapping, violence, etc.

Word count: 8.1k

Music recs: Through the Fire by Jake Etheridge and Margot Todd; scared by Jeremy Zucker

a/n: anon, I have no idea if this is what you were looking for, but this is where it went. It’s a generous rewrite of 300, substituting the reader for Garcia. Also this blog operates with the understanding that the season 14 jeid arc does not exist lmao. JJ is firmly in the “I love you as a brother” camp and I will not be taking questions at this time. Also, this is a reminder that my requests are open! send me some fresh ideas, head cannons, rambles, whatever! 

———

“Metro PD and the Bureau have been made aware of the Believers and possible activity following their leader’s arrest,” Prentiss confirmed, looking out over the team mingling in the bullpen. “But taking Theo at his word—”

“We only arrested three. There’s probably more out there, but if they follow cult dynamics, they’ll break down on their own without the messiah,” Matt finished.

“Typical cults: you think it’s a cast of thousands when really it’s just four whackos sitting around in the dark,” Tara mused.

Prentiss smiled. “I think we deserve some decompression time, and Rossi’s kind enough to host.”

Rossi leaned over the railing and nodded. “And I have some top shelf wine picked just for the occasion.”

The team started gathering their belongings and heading towards the elevators. Y/N hesitated, looking toward the case file still sitting on her desk. Something about how this had all wrapped up just… didn’t sit right. Her nearly five years with the Critical Incident Response Group had given her an up close view of some of the most prolific cults in American history. She’d studied Jonestown, Waco, Ruby Ridge, Liberty Ranch; new cults emerged onto CIRG’s radar regularly. And there was something about The Believers that just didn’t add up.

Y/N began shuffling things around on her desk, trying to look busy. She caught Spencer and JJ out of the corner of her eye, talking quietly. They ended their conversation with a hug, lingering just a little longer than Y/N would have preferred. She shook her head to try to physically clear the thought from her brain. She knew that Spencer had been through a lifetime’s worth of trauma before she joined the team, and that JJ had been an integral support for him. Y/N was also aware that she had zero grounds to be concerned with any of Spencer’s relationships, romantic or otherwise.

“Y/N, you coming?” JJ asked, walking toward her desk. Spencer headed out of the bullpen and down the hall.

Y/N gave her a half-hearted smile. “Yeah, I’ll be there in a little bit. Just wanted to finish up a couple things here.”

“Well, don’t stay too late.” JJ pressed her lips together for a moment before adding, “Maybe you and Spence could drive together. He said he might not make it, but if he had some company...”

Y/N hoped her immediate flush wasn’t too obvious. After nearly a year in the unit, she finally felt like she had built some solid relationships with the team, and Spencer was no exception. She relished their card games on the jet, the laughs over too-sweet coffee, discussions about books and films and music. But she also adored the way his hair sometimes curled and fell into his eyes, his animated and rambling tangents, the way his hands traced over the tiny print of his books. Most of her adult life had been spent surrounded by men who would gather up her trust in their pitted hands and crush it on a whim. She’d kept her heart behind glass for a long while, but Spencer was slowly chipping away at the fragile panels. She was certain he had no idea that he was even holding the chisel; but just about everyone else seemed to have figured it out. JJ, with her hands clasped together and an eager smile, definitely had. Y/N smiled, too. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“So we’ll see you in a bit?” When Y/N nodded, JJ gave her a warm smile and headed out.

Turning back to the case file, Y/N pressed her fingers to her temple and looked over the documents. Some of the pieces fit together, but the whole case felt littered with gaps and holes. The tale that Theo had woven about The Believers seemed true enough— his parents were simply the suppliers of potential cult members. Although, she still couldn’t figure out the reason for the kidnapping and torture. There were much easier ways to recruit vulnerable people.

She flipped past the pages of written statements and read over the report from the warehouse raid. It was short— the take down of Merva was too easy. Why was he sitting alone in an empty warehouse with only two unarmed, sleeping followers as a defense? Where was the rest of the cult? Matt was correct that most cults fall apart without their leader; unless the loss of a leader was a possibility they’d already prepared for.

The burns on Quinn’s hands didn’t make sense, either. Why use the initiation ritual as a torture device? Shouldn’t that be saved for people who had accepted the invitation? And then there was the one coincidence that nagged at her the most: what were the chances that Theo just happened to be enrolled in Spencer's course? Why did Spencer seem to be at the center of the whole thing?

Y/N sighed as her phone lit up with a message from JJ. She realized she’d been poring over the file for twenty-five minutes, and she had to laugh. As the least experienced profiler on the team, what could she possibly see that the others hadn’t? She closed the case file and quickly packed up, grabbing her jacket and bag and making her way toward the elevator lobby. She paused at the glass doors, retrieving her phone and pulling up Spencer’s contact information. Her thumb hovered over the call button for a long moment before she huffed out a breath. If even JJ hadn’t been able to convince him to go, there was no way she’d be able to change his mind. Despite herself, she glanced down the hall, allowing herself one moment to imagine an alternate timeline where she asked him to come along with her— to Rossi’s, to the moon, anywhere.

With a sigh, Y/N pushed open the glass doors and saw Agent Meadows leading Quinn to the elevator. She pushed down the little red flag in the back of her mind. As she stepped onto the elevator, she smiled politely at the two agents.

“I knew you didn’t do it. I just knew,” Meadows said to Quinn. She turned to Y/N. “And I can’t tell you what a privilege it’s been working with the A-Team on this case.”

Something about the calm in her voice made Y/N uneasy. “Yeah, it’s— um. It’s a great team to be a part of.” Her phone lit up again, this time with a phone call from JJ. “Okay, okay,” she muttered under her breath. Y/N answered the call, half an ear still listening to Meadows speak to Quinn. “Hey, I’m just leaving now.”

“Are you still at the BAU?” JJ demanded, voice low.

“Yeah, yeah, sorry. But I’m in the elevator,” Y/N answered.

“Listen, we’re pretty sure Quinn was converted,” JJ told her. Y/N’s heart dropped into her shoes. “I need you to make sure he doesn’t leave that building. We’re coming back now. Where’s Spence?”

Y/N took a breath to try to even out her voice before speaking again. “Mom, we already talked about this. I don’t know.”

JJ paused. “Is Quinn in the elevator with you?”

“Yep.” JJ spoke quietly to someone on the other end of the phone. Y/N watched as the elevator dinged to the floor of the parking garage. “I’m going to have to hang up, mom. I’m gonna lose you, but I’ll try to take care of it tonight, okay?”

“Y/N, we’re on our—” The call dropped as the elevator hit the basement level.

Y/N took a deep breath to steady her voice. “Ugh, lost her.” She glanced at Meadows and Quinn, forced a smile and shrugged. “Elevators, right?”

The elevator doors began to open and Y/N stepped out, surreptitiously reaching for her holster. She had just lifted the strap when she heard the crack of metal hitting bone. Her face hit the concrete before she realized it was her own skull that bore the impact. She watched as her gun skidded across the parking lot floor, the taste of iron flooding her mouth. “Fuck,” she muttered, wincing in pain and scrambling up off the ground as a gunshot went off.

She didn’t feel the impact of the bullet. She looked down at her body, expecting to see a blooming rose of blood. She stared dumbly for a second too long, before remembering that she needed to get to her gun. Her hand instinctively went to her nose as she stumbled forward, coming away wet with blood.

“Stop, Agent Y/L/N.”

She heard the sound of a gun cocking, and then another. She closed her eyes and ran through an internal stream of curses. Raising her hands up, she turned slowly around. An older white man stood to her left, his gun trained on her. Meadows walked slowly towards her, lowering her own weapon. Quinn leaned against the back of the elevator, clutching his abdomen and blood staining the front of his shirt.

“Surprise,” Meadows sang, a sick smile spreading across her face. She stopped in front of Y/N, sweeping her hand in the direction of the man. “Now, John’s going to make sure you don’t do anything stupid. Get in the car.”

Y/N glanced in the direction of the vehicle, a dark sedan, driver armed to the teeth as well. “The team knows something’s up. You won’t make it out of this garage alive.”

Meadows laughed, loud and unhinged. “Oh honey. They’re not looking for lil ol’ me. And they sure as hell won’t be looking for an ambulance.” Her smile returned. “Plus, I already erased 299 murders from the Bureau’s radar. What’s a couple more? Now, shut up... and get in the car.”

Y/N moved to the open car door, keeping her back as straight as possible and her chin up, refusing to show them any cowardice. The barrel of the gun jabbed her in the back as she lowered herself into the vehicle. The door slammed shut, and in a moment, the gun was back on her, the man sitting next to her in the backseat. Y/N waited for the car to pull out, still trying to make sense of it all. Meadows was a Believer? What did she mean by “erased” 299 murders? Why would she blow her cover to shoot Quinn? Did she think that he had figured her out? Or that Y/N had? If that was the case, why not just shoot her? Why wasn’t the car moving?

“Drop your gun, Agent Reid,” Meadows’ muffled voice penetrated the inside of the vehicle. Y/N’s heart began to race. John dug the gun further into her side.

“It’s been you the whole time,” Spencer deduced.

“Yes, it was. Quinn somehow figured it out first. Pity having to shoot him,” Meadows mocked. “But he can’t give me what I want. And you can.”

“What’s that?” Y/N’s brain scrambled to put the pieces together as she listened to the exchange. Spencer was at the heart of it after all. It was right there, she just couldn’t quite put her finger on it.

Meadows continued, “You and I are going to go upstairs and free my Messiah.”

“You’re in the heart of the FBI. As soon as the rest of my team figures out it’s you, you’ll be dead before you’re out the door.” Y/N hoped to god that he was right.

“Then we need to work quickly.”

“I’m not going to cooperate with you,” Spencer told her. “Might as well shoot me.” Y/N didn’t even have time to panic before the car shifted into drive.

“I have a better idea.” On Meadows’ cue, the driver squealed out of the parking space and into Spencer’s line of sight. His eyes fell on Y/N, hands nearly pressed against the window, John’s gun pointed at her head. “Now, what’s it gonna be? Because you can either join us, or she dies.”

Y/N tried to radiate her rage through her eyes and screamed, “Reid, just shoot her! Shoot her!” The last thing she saw before the second crack of steel against her skull was the hesitation in Spencer’s eyes.

⧭⧭⧭

Y/N’s eyes fluttered open and she groaned at the pounding of her head, the rhythm of her heartbeat throbbing in the space behind her ears. She tried to lift her hand to check for blood, only to strain against the hold of a zip tie attached to the base of the chair. Instead, she surveyed the room around her. A warehouse, lots of shipping containers, and even more men— this time armed with assault rifles and machine guns. One stood at the entrance point of the small area she was being kept in.

She worked through her memory, putting the pieces together. Meadows was a Believer, had been for quite some time to pull all of this off. Quinn wasn’t special, he just got in the way of her real target. Ben Merva might have been the messiah, but Spencer Reid was clearly just as important to whatever mission they were carrying out. Every twisting thread of information somehow traced back to him: Theo in his class, Quinn’s attachment to him, Meadows’ demand that he be the one to free Merva.

“Good, you’re awake.” Meadows strode through the space with a laptop in hand. “I need your handiwork.”

Y/N stared at her. “Is that so?’

Meadows set the laptop on the barrel in front of Y/N and then leaned down to cut the zip tie. “Besides being my collateral for the good doctor, you’re also going to help me access CIRG’s surveillance data.”

“Fuck you.” Y/N spat on Meadows’ shoes. “I’m doing nothing for you.” Her head rolled back, eyes piercing daggers into Meadows. “You should just kill me now, because this is a waste of your time. And I’m sure you know the A-Team isn’t going to waste theirs.”

Meadows narrowed her eyes and gave a theatrical sigh. “I should’ve known you’d make this difficult.” She nodded to John, standing at the entranceway.

Y/N spat again, this time to rid her mouth of the taste of blood. She steeled herself for the next onslaught, compartmentalizing every emotion outside of her fury. Her mind raced to salvage and scrutinize the memories from her time in CIRG, trying desperately to identify what Meadows could be looking for in the surveillance reports. The Believers hadn’t even been on the Bureau’s radar. The reason had to be linked to their interest in Spencer… a piece of information that involved both Spencer Reid and the existing surveillance data. A single grain that could bring the whole damn bushel down.

She heard a scuffle at the entrance of the room and raised her head. Her heart jumped into her throat at the sight of Spencer, bloodied and bruised. John dragged him into the room, throwing him down onto his knees in front of Y/N. His eyes tracked over her face and clouded over with an emotion she couldn’t quite place.

“Shit, Reid—”

“I’m fine—I’m sure it looks worse than it is,” he murmured. The concern in his eyes told Y/N she looked about as bad as she felt. “Are you all right?”

“I should’ve seen it. I should’ve known—”

“No,” Spencer interrupted. “This isn’t your fault. We all missed it.”

“What’s the end game here?” Y/N asked. “What’re they doing?”

“I’m going to be their last victim.” Spencer shook his head, barely able to keep himself upright. “I don’t know why, but I overheard them. There have been hundreds.”

Meadows stepped up behind Spencer, grinning at Y/N. “Have you changed your mind? I sure hope you have.” She raised her gun to his head. “Because if you don’t do what I want, I’ll blow his big, beautiful brains out.”

Spencer locked eyes with Y/N. She held his gaze for a moment, then tilted her head slightly as the gears started turning. The tie between Spencer and Benjamin was where it all unraveled. “No, I don’t think you will.”

Meadows’ grin faltered for less than a second, but it was long enough that Y/N knew she was right. “Is that right?” Meadows questioned.

“Yeah, it is.” She furrowed her brow, and Spencer looked at her. “You need him, don’t you? Alive.” Meadows’ tongue darted out to wet her lips, and Y/N was sure. “Because this isn’t just about Benjamin Merva. It’s about Benjamin Cyrus. It’s about Liberty Ranch.”

Meadows held her gaze for five seconds, then ten seconds. Y/N raised her chin, refusing to be the one to blink first. Meadows shifted the trajectory of her gun a foot to her right and fired off one shot. The breeze from the bullet shifted Y/N’s hair.

“You have two minutes to decide,” Meadows advised. The phone in her hand began ringing. “The next one won’t miss.” She answered the phone and stepped out.

Spencer spoke quickly. “Do whatever she’s asking. We have to get you out of here.”

“Reid, are your eyes broken?” Y/N snapped. “There’s a cult loyalist with a machine gun every five feet. You got a plan for that?”

“Listen to me.” His voice was calm, determined. “You’re right about them wanting me alive.”

The frustration bled through Y/N’s voice. “You should have just shot her.”

He shook his head. “I couldn’t do that.”

“You could’ve shot all three of them and ended this in the garage,” Y/N argued.

“And then I would have watched you die,” he said quietly. “That was never even an option.”

“I’m failing to see how that would have been any worse than this. Look at us.” She gestured wildly between them. She watched as the storm of emotion returned, a cyclone swirling in seas of gold and brown. “The team needs you. Spencer, I—” I need you. She reached a hand up, almost touching his face before dropping it back in her lap. He had found the chink in her carefully constructed armor; a fissure he’d fractured a little further with every smile, every look, every moment. All at once she knew she’d never be able to keep him out, no matter how much it might hurt.

“You’ve got one minute,” Meadows barked, hovering over them.

“Y/L/N, listen to me… Please...” Spencer’s voice was thick with tears. “Tell my mom—” The phone rang again, and Meadows stepped away to answer it. Spencer dropped to a whisper. His eyes flashed with urgency. “They’re taking me and Theo. We’ll distract them. The car we were in is right outside the door. We’re 18 minutes from Quantico. Turn left outside the parking lot, take a right at the light, you’ll recognize the rest. They stay off the highways.”

Y/N’s voice was frantic when she asked, “What about you?”

His eyes pleaded with her to respect what he was asking her to do. “I’ll delay them. Get the rest of the team back here. And do not worry about me.” John hauled up him off the floor.

“Time’s up.” Meadows, in a rare display of mercy, allowed them a hug.

Spencer leaned into her and Y/N wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She squeezed as hard as she could and whispered his name. She felt him take a deep breath into her hair, holding it for one impossibly long moment. Just before she released her hold on him, he mumbled, “It’s all happening. 10:23.” John dragged him back out the way they’d came.

“I gave you what you wanted.” Meadows ordered, “Get to it. Now.”

⧭⧭⧭

Y/N worked and waited, then watched and worried. Spencer spoke to Meadows. He was stalling her, offering a deal, boosting her ego, granting Y/N the opportunity to mentally prepare. But no matter how much time he gave her, she would never be prepared to leave him in that warehouse. He met her eyes across the movements of the operation and gave her an imperceptible nod before lunging forward to reach for John’s gun.

Chaos exploded throughout the warehouse. Theo ran in one direction, accosted by half a dozen Believers. Spencer and John tussled over the gun, one fighting for control and the other fighting the inevitable. Y/N sprinted, largely unnoticed, toward the huge sliding doors left slightly ajar. Bursting out into the night air, she immediately spotted one of the black sedans, unbelievably unlocked and with the keys in the ignition. She slammed the door behind her, turned the key, hesitated with her eyes on the door and her mind on Spencer for one moment too long. A single gunshot sounded from inside the warehouse.

Meadows raced out of the doorway, gun drawn. “Stop!” She pointed her gun at Y/N and there was nothing to do but step on the gas. Y/N had her eyes wide open as Meadows bounced off the windshield and onto the asphalt. She didn’t look back.

She drove. Left out of the parking lot. Just a dark, rural road—nothing particularly special or descript. She drove. Right at the stoplight. Then it was, just as Spencer said, familiar terrain. She wondered how it was possible to have seemed so far away— a world away— when it was right under their proverbial nose. She drove.

Her brain navigated of its own volition. Her mind couldn’t have been farther from the inside of the vehicle. She didn’t realize she’d arrived at the Bureau until she was attempting to pull into her usual parking spot, only to be met with her own abandoned car.

She turned the car off, left the keys in the ignition, and nearly floated out into the garage; up the elevator; across the cold floors of the lobby. Her body had walked this same path so many times before; it carried her without hesitation. She could hear the voices of the team, drifting through the open glass doors.

“She accepted their help knowing she would betray the government,” Tara deduced.

“Not every survivor wanted help,” JJ clarified.

Rossi continued, “We ran those who left the ranch and kept their names. A few relocated in rural Maryland and Virginia.”

“They could be helping now,” Luke suggested. “Any of them have large pieces of property?”

“A few,” Emily confirmed. Y/N turned the corner as she continued, “The Washington field office has started searches in Maryland. We’ll take the lead in Virginia.”

As she moved into the doorway, JJ’s eyes went wide and she rushed to Y/N’s side. “Oh my god, are you hurt?” She gently grabbed Y/N by the shoulders.

“It’s a warehouse in Hillcrest,” Y/N said flatly, eyes unfocused. “I can take you there, but we have to hurry. They hurt Reid; he looked— bad. He told me to r-run and take the car, but he’s still there.” Everyone headed for the doors except JJ and Garcia. “They won’t be there long, they have lots of trucks.” Y/N’s eyes locked on JJ, and for the first time since the whole ordeal started, she allowed herself to splinter, just a little. “I heard a gunshot. JJ, I heard a gunshot. I tried—”

“Shh, it’s okay,” JJ nodded, drawing her into a hug. “I know. I know you tr—”

“I left him there.” Her voice broke, but she couldn’t cry. Not yet. “I couldn’t get him. There was no way to save hi—”

“Stop,” JJ ordered, pulling out of the hug. “Y/N, look at me. You got out, you got back to us. If you hadn’t, we wouldn’t even know about the warehouse.”

“What if— what if I got him killed?” Y/N asked.

“You didn’t get anyone killed. Spence knew what he was doing.” JJ’s voice softened. “That’s what he does. He always figures things out before the rest of us. He has a plan and getting you back to Quantico was part of it.” She raised her eyebrows, making sure Y/N was listening. “And now we have to help him by putting the rest of it together.”

Y/N ran a hand over her face. “You’re right. Of course, you’re right.”

Garcia stepped forward and laid a hand on her arm. “Let’s get you cleaned up. Then we’ll get Reid back.”

They cleaned the blood from her face and hair as best they could in the bathroom sink. JJ patched up the lacerations with steri-strips. Back in the conference room, Garcia insisted she should get screened for a concussion as Y/N rubbed the knot on the back of her head. “There’s no time. Reid said, ‘It’s all happening. 10:23.’”

“But it’s past that,” JJ considered.

“So what did he mean?” Garcia asked.

“Could be a clue here.” Rossi's voice came over the speakerphone from inside the warehouse. “They got sloppy since they left in a hurry.”

“Okay, well you can’t be that far behind them,” JJ insisted.

“I know,” Emily agreed. “But there’s easy access to three major highways, and we don’t know which way they went.”

“Right, but they’re in tractor trailers. That means we can track them through weigh stations.”

“Garcia?” Emily prompted.

“In order to do that, I’d need the transponder identification numbers,” Garcia answered.

“Which we have no way of knowing,” Rossi sighed. “Everything they used was almost definitely forged.”

“We’re going to do another sweep here, and then we’ll head back,” Emily said. “Try to map out the most likely routes they’d use to get out of dodge.”

JJ hung up and looked to Y/N. “What do you remember about the warehouse?”

Y/N pressed her fingers into her temples. “It was full of supplies. They were disguising them, but they had stockpiles of weapons and ammunition; non-perishables and other food items; water. Enough to be off the grid for at least a year.” Y/N leaned back in her chair. “But it wasn’t just about The Believers. I mean, we know they’re a reincarnation of the Separatarian Sect.” She looked at JJ and Garcia. “It was more than that, though. Reid was at the center of everything; he was the target all along. Merva is the messiah, but it somehow all comes back to Spence.”

“Makes sense. They blame him for the downfall of the Sect,” JJ supplied.

“Yeah.” Y/N cracked her knuckles. “But—and I can’t—I can’t really explain it, but Meadows really wanted to kill Reid right then. She was— she was irritated, more than anything else.”

“So what stopped her?” Garcia asked.

“That’s what I can’t figure out. She threatened me with it, with ‘blowing his brains out,’ but I— called her bluff. And she was pissed.” Y/N rapped her knuckles on the table. “I mean, really, really furious. Which tells me that, even though she wanted to,  she couldn’t kill him.” She looked between the two of them. “Merva was pulling the strings, and he wouldn’t let her do it there.”

“So it matters where the final sacrifice takes place,” JJ concluded. “We’ve got to figure out where they’re going.”

⧭⧭⧭

They’d been rehashing the details over and over. Liberty Ranch, The Strangler investigation, The Believers, Meadows, Merva, Cyrus, 300 victims, the hyoid bones, all of it. About the only thing they knew for sure was how far the cult could get in the trucks. Spencer could have told them the exact square mileage, but the potential geographical range of the trucks was dauntingly large. Y/N tried not to panic as she stared at the map.

“If this is about a Believer's rebirth, babies are born with 300 bones,” JJ said. “And they’re taking the hyoids.”

“And the hyoids we had in evidence are missing, which means Merva needed them back,” Tara reasoned. “And that means they mean more to the end game than we thought.”

Y/N felt her patience waning. “But why did Reid need us to know it all happens at 10:23?” Y/N hated that her voice sounded snappy and desperate. “That’s got to be important. It’s the last thing he said to me.”

Matt put his hand on her shoulder. “Listen, you’re right. It means something to him. We’re trying to figure it out.”

“Yeah, well, we better figure it out soon.” Y/N shrugged off his hand, pushed back from her seat at the conference room table, and turned for the door. She couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. Every minute they spent floating ideas was another mile between them and Spencer. Another moment closer to losing him. She shoved the bathroom door open, hurrying into the stall and emptying the contents of her stomach.

She slumped back against the side of the stall, head gently knocking into the cool metal. She needed to pull herself together. The team was always strongest when they did their group think sessions, building upon each other’s knowledge and perspectives and filling in the gaps. If they’d done more of that earlier— if she’d had the confidence to call it out as soon as she saw the holes, Spencer might not be locked in the back of a truck, hundreds of miles away.

Y/N hoisted herself off the ground and out of the stall. She braced her hands on the counter top and tried to breathe evenly. She turned on the water and splashed her face, tapping against her cheeks. With water dripping down the planes of her face, she stared herself down in the mirror, willing her tired brain to make that last connection, to find that missing thread. It was all about the Benjamins, and she had a feeling that Cyrus was the key.

Y/N rolled her shoulders back and made her way to the conference room. She listened to their rotating conversation, knowing that this team was the only group of people capable of getting Spencer back alive.

“We have confirmation that there’s been no activity in or around the old ranch,” Matt informed them, pocketing his phone.

“If this is about rebirth, they’ll choose a new place,” Luke posited, arms crossed.

Tara leaned over the table. “Given their adoration of Cyrus and his love for the country, he’d want them to stay within our borders.”

“But Benjamin Cyrus wasn’t his real name, and he wasn’t born into the Sect,” Y/N reminded them quietly. Everyone turned to look at her. She gave an apology grimace to Matt. He just shrugged and smiled, motioning her over to the table.

Garcia nodded. “Right, let’s see. Uh, he and his mom arrived there when he was a teenager. He was kicked out for molesting girls. And then he served time in prison in Kentucky.”

“And that’s where he found religion,” Y/N recalled, thinking back to the report she’d studied dozens of times. “So he was reborn as Benjamin Cyrus in Kentucky.” She closed her eyes and flipped through her mental file cabinet, looking for 10:23.

“That’s within the area,” Garcia confirmed. “Maybe that’s where they’re headed?”

“Find out what city he was born in or where he was in prison,” Luke said. “We’ll spread out from there.”

“He found religion,” Y/N repeated, mostly to herself. “Chapter ten, verse twenty-three. 10:23 isn’t a time.” Y/N shook her head and then dragged her hand through her hair. “It’s scripture.”

“Let’s get in the air; we can narrow down which verse and city before we land,” Emily instructed.

⧭⧭⧭

“We’re approaching Kentucky; the pilot needs to know where to touch down,” Rossi informed them.

The team was scattered throughout the jet, scrolling through scripture on their tablets, reading out verses. Y/N held her chin in her hand, eyes unfocused, dragging a net along the furthest corners of her mind.

“Hey guys, listen to this,” JJ said. “Matthew chapter ten, verse twenty-three: ‘When you are persecuted in one place, flee to another.’”

“They’re going to the next town,” Emily said.

“Flee to the next town. But which one?” asked Garcia.

“Their end game is also a new beginning,” Rossi explained. “Cyrus brought religion back to the cult. They’d honor that by wanting to start fresh.”

Y/N raised her head. “Like the Garden of Eden.”

“That’s how 300 fits,” Tara concluded. “That was the number of angels that protected the Garden of Eden. Are there any Edens in Kentucky?”

The sound of Garcia tapping across the keyboard came through the laptop. “Um, no, but there are two synonyms: Canaan and Arcadia.”

“Cyrus is the original messiah. Which one is closer to where he was born?” Y/N asked.

“Arcadia,” Garcia informed them.

Y/N stood up. “That’s where they’re going.”

“Garcia, pull land deeds. I’ll notify SWAT,” Emily instructed.

JJ grabbed Y/N’s hand. “We’re going to get him.”

Y/N met her eyes. “I just hope we’re not too late.”

⧭⧭⧭

The new compound proved easy to find. In the middle of nowhere but illuminated by hundreds of lights, there were rows and rows of tents. The team began strategizing, looking for the best route to Spencer.

Emily tried to convince Y/N, now showing clear concussion symptoms, to stay with the SUVs.

“With all due respect, there is no way in hell that I’m going to sit in this car while Reid gets sacrificed by a homicidal cult leader,” Y/N said. There was a hushed pause, the team exchanging knowing glances.

“Fair enough,” Emily conceded. “Matt and JJ, I want you on the left side. Luke and Tara, the right. Dave and Y/N, you’re with me. We’re clearing every tent; eliminate any threat that would give away your position.” She unholstered her gun and swept her eyes across the team. “Our objective is to extract Reid with minimal loss.”

As they approached the first line of tents, Y/N could faintly hear Spencer speaking. “To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven.” Her heart hammered against her ribcage. “A time to be born and a time to die.” She could feel the blood rushing through her ears. “A time to weep and a time to pluck up that which has been planted.”

“Okay, he’s stalling,” Meadows snapped. “That’s enough!”

“All right. Let the sacrifice begin.” That was Merva now, riling up the followers. “Protect us from all harm.”

As Merva led The Believers in a monotone chant, Y/N tried to block it out. She scanned a tent, watched as SWAT took out a bodyguard, looked for Spencer. Rinse and repeat, again and again. It was taking too long.

“And we thank Our Guardian, who will protect this family now and always,” Merva’s voice rang out. “Spencer: keeper of provisions!” Y/N saw the gathering of followers, but she couldn’t see Spencer.

The SWAT commander stopped them. They had reached the final line of tents. He signaled to the leaders on each side. They were ready to strike.

Y/N’s eyes scanned the crowd. She could just barely make out some sort of hanging mobile, white u-shaped decorations suspended from string. The hyoids, she realized, a wave of nausea hitting her like a truck.

Merva continued, “You have given selflessly to others and will be rewarded by the highest honor we could bestow. Your blood will be our blood. Your life will fuel ours.”

A gunshot rang out. The followers gasped. There was a split second of calm before the bedlam. Y/N took a single breath. Then she heard Matt yell; saw John lift his rifle and be felled by a solo shot to the head; watched Luke take down another bodyguard directly after.

And then she saw him. Strapped down under a canopy of bones, Spencer was silent and unmoving. He didn’t struggle. He didn’t call out. And there was Merva, knife in hand— still trying to complete his mission.

She didn’t vacillate, barely breathed, just let her legs carry her forward. She heard Emily call out his name. When Merva turned, the curved blade of the knife poised at the column of Spencer's throat, Y/N’s trigger finger compressed. She felt the gun recoil, felt the force of the shot travel up her arm as she put a single bullet in his chest. As he fell, she didn’t stop, just stepped over him, knew one of the others would take care of it.

She tripped over the small platform Spencer was restrained on, stumbling and holstering her gun. Her hands moved over the straps, loosening the one over his waist, then the ones at his hands, finally pushing the leather from his head. He panted and muttered his thanks, but she didn’t dare speak, afraid that if she did, she’d never be able to stop. Instead, she flung her arms over his shoulders, pulling him down and close and over her heart. She wondered if he could feel the way it pummeled against her chest, because to her it felt like it might smash through at any moment. His arms came around her, chin resting on her shoulder, nose in her hair. She heard him inhale and hold his breath, a mirror of that last moment together in the warehouse. She held onto him as an overboard sailor holds a life ring: single-minded, unrelenting, desperate.

There was a touch on her opposite shoulder and Y/N swung around, adrenaline still racing through her veins. JJ put her hand out in a placating motion, and Y/N came back to herself, allowing JJ to step forward and help Spencer off the platform. Y/N let out a breath and reached a hand out to steady herself, only to flinch when it brushed one of the straps that had held Spencer down. Luke caught her on one side, Tara on the other. She grasped at them, her emotions teetering right along with her physical form. Luke pulled her out from under the macabre canopy and into a hug. Tara held her hand. For the first time since the parking garage, she let herself go.

⧭⧭⧭

The jet was quiet. The team was spread out around the cabin, each of them lost in their own heads. There was a tranquility over the space, one that only ever happened when unmitigated relief overwhelmed even the joy or fulfillment of a life saved.

Y/N sat in one of the single seats, across the aisle from where Spencer was settled. Tara and Luke had finally convinced her to get checked out by the EMTs, who had confirmed her concussion. She convinced herself that the fuzziness on the corners of her vision was just a symptom of that, not a product of the tears she was struggling to hold back.  

The team each stopped by Spencer’s seat, patting his shoulder, squeezing his hand, or in Rossi’s case, gently ruffling his hair. They all spoke briefly in hushed, grateful tones. All except Y/N. She couldn’t formulate a sentence that seemed adequate. There was simultaneously too much and nothing to say. Everything felt contrived or insufficient or intemperate.

Spencer was safe. They hadn’t been too late. He was bruised and undoubtedly sore, but ultimately, he’d been through worse. So why was her heart still aching? Why couldn’t she catch her breath? She hadn’t spoken more than a few words since leaving the raid, so why did her throat feel like it was on fire? She closed her eyes, leaned her head back. She incessantly pressed her hands together, trying to crack her sore knuckles over and over again.

A pair of hands gently closed over her own, stopping the abuse, and she didn’t have to open her eyes to know who they belonged to. His thumbs stroked over the backs of her hands and she cursed the tears that spilled over her bottom lashes. He didn’t say anything, didn’t force her to look at him or acknowledge her shattering. He waited her out, rubbing a rhythm on her skin and steadying her without a word. She opened her eyes but couldn’t bring herself to look at him just yet. Instead she focused on their joined hands, reciprocating the gentle pulses he gave every so often.

She turned her head to wipe her wet cheeks on her shoulder as the landing announcement came over the cabin speaker. She did look at him then, and the emotion in his gaze left her feeling raw and exposed. Their hands reluctantly separated to buckle their seat belts. Y/N closed her eyes again, turning her face into the warmth of the early morning sun as the jet began its descent.

When they landed, everyone wearily shuffled off the plane, eager to get home to their beds. Penelope met them at the elevator, enveloping Spencer in a long hug, the rest of the team smiling at their embrace. They each moved through the bullpen, gathering their things and talking quietly. Y/N’s eyes paused on her bag, brought up from the parking garage by one of the team after she’d gone missing. They lingered for a long moment on the case file, still sitting where she’d left it hours ago, before she let herself let it go. She grabbed her bag and turned to see Spencer standing in the aisle, hands in his pockets and eyes fixed on her.

“Hey,” she said dumbly.

He smiled. “Hi.”

Her hands wrung the straps of her bag. “How—how’re you holding up?”

“I’ve been worse.” He shrugged. “How’s your head?”

“I’ve been worse,” she agreed.

“That’s good. Because I think after all that, the least you could do is give me a ride home,” he joked.

Y/N knew he was trying to reassure her that he was fine, but she couldn’t bring herself to laugh. If anything, his attempts to provide comfort made her feel worse. Because she couldn’t forget the sound of the gunshot at the warehouse, the sight of the knife at his throat, the feeling of nearly losing someone whom she knew she could love if she just had more time. Too exhausted to hide her emotions, she could tell by the change in Spencer’s eyes that the pain was apparent on her face.

“Actually, you probably shouldn’t be driving, even if it’s just a mild concussion. Where are your keys?”

“It’s fine. I’m all ri—” Y/N started.

“I know I phrased that as a question, but I’m not really asking.” He held out his hand.

Normally she would have argued, but she just didn’t have the energy. Y/N dug into her bag, fishing out the keys and dropping them into his hand. He closed his fingers around them and jerked his head toward the door. “Come on,” he murmured. He waved to the rest of the team, and Y/N nodded, avoiding their eyes.

The ride in the elevator was silent. The walk to the car, too. They were pulling out of the garage before Spencer finally broke the silence.

“You know this wasn’t your fault, right?” he asked. Y/N stayed quiet. “We all missed the connection to Liberty Ranch.”

“But I knew something was off, and I didn’t say anything. I— I almost came to find you before I left, and if I had just done that—”

“Y/N,” Spencer interrupted. “The plan was already in motion. Meadows and Merva would have just figured out another way to execute it.” His fingers tightened on the wheel. “And without you and the leads from the warehouse, the team might not have figured it out in time.”

Y/N opened her mouth before realizing she didn’t have a response. She didn’t even want to consider that possibility. She leaned her head against the window, pressing the thumb and fingers of one hand into her eyes to stave off the throbbing.

Graciously, Spencer let her remain in silence the rest of the ride to her apartment. There was so much to say, especially now; she didn’t know where to begin. And even after everything, she couldn’t stop herself from bringing up that wall— protecting herself from what she knew could hurt her more than any unsub.

They pulled onto her street, fairly empty at such an early hour. Spencer parked in front of her apartment, opening the car door and coming around the other side of the car. She expected him to give her the keys, but as she exited the car, he waited by the gate for her. “I’ll walk you up.”

Spencer opened the gate, allowing her to walk through before closing it behind them and following her up the sidewalk. “I need the keys,” she told him.

He shook his head as if to clear it. “Right, right.” He placed them into her outstretched hand, and she wondered if she imagined his fingers lingering over hers.

When they reached her door, she unlocked the deadbolt and swung the door open, stepping over the threshold. He waited outside, hands in his pockets. Y/N rolled her keys in her hand, and Spencer watched them.

“Um— thank you for—” Y/N started.

“I told Emily on the jet, and I’ll tell you now.” Spencer raised his eyes to meet hers. There was that look again, the one she couldn’t quite identify. “I’ve always had a hard time saying what I feel. And maybe sometimes it’s because I’m afraid of being disappointed. But sometimes it’s because the words I’m looking for don’t exist in the English language.”

“Spence—”

“Please just let me get this out,” he said. “There have been a couple moments over the past few months where I thought maybe we were sharing mamihlapinatapei.”

“Mamih what?” Y/N asked.

“Mamihlapinatapei.” He repeated, gesturing with his hands. “It’s a Yagan word that originates on the Tierra del Fuego archipelago off the southern tip of Argentina. It translates succinctly as ‘the wordless, meaningful look shared by two people who both desire to initiate something, but are both reluctant to do so.’”

“Oh.” Y/N felt a flush rising up in her cheeks.

Suddenly, Spencer couldn’t meet her eyes. “I, um—I wasn’t sure, and I didn’t want to do anything that would jeopardize our friendship or make things awkward at work. But last night, I… I just— I’ve had too many moments in my life where I thought it might be my last, and I hadn’t said all the things I needed to say.” He met her eyes again, and there was that familiar storm. “Last night I was out of time, and I hadn’t told you how I feel, and I realized that I wouldn’t get another chance, and it’s okay if you don’t feel the same, but I needed to—”

Y/N stepped forward, grabbed the front of his shirt, and crashed their mouths together. She tried to pour everything into the kiss: every blush, every worry, every laugh, every panicked moment, every mamihlapinatapei. Spencer cradled her face in his hands, opening his mouth and capturing her bottom lip, accepting everything she gave him. She wound one of her hands into his hair, pulling him impossibly closer and grounding herself to this new reality that almost wasn’t. The height of the kiss tapered off, and Y/N drew back, untangling her fingers from his hair and her heart from his grasp. Spencer watched her carefully, honey eyes uncertain.

“I do. Feel the same,” Y/N confirmed. Spencer’s lips twitched. “I’m not good at vulnerability. I’ve got a great track record of getting hurt.” Spencer grabbed her hand and opened his mouth, but Y/N continued, “But then I thought we might lose you, that time was out, and that I— I wouldn’t get the chance to see if you could be— if this could be more.” She gestured between them and then met his eyes again. “And I guess being vulnerable isn’t so bad in comparison. Because I think I could fall in love with you. I think maybe it’s already happening.” She held her breath and pressed her lips together, fighting the regret of saying too much.  

“Actually, there’s a word for that, too.” Spencer smiled, warm and soft and genuine. “Forelsket. The origin is Norwegian, and it roughly translates to ‘the euphoria experienced as you begin to fall in love.’”

“Forelsket?” Y/N asked.

“Well, it’s more like forelsket,” Spencer corrected.

“Wow, okay, 187.” Y/N laughed for the first time in what felt like days. “Forelsket.”

“Better,” Spencer praised. “There’s also the Tagalog version, kilig.”

Y/N took a step closer to him and smoothed his shirt where her hands had wrinkled it. “Translation?”

“‘The sudden feeling of an inexplicable joy one gets when something romantic happens,’ or alternatively ‘the feeling of butterflies in your stomach.’” Spencer moved his hand to her waist and stepped over the threshold.

Y/N cupped his cheek in her hand, soothing the bruises and guiding him back to her. “Yeah. Sounds about right.”

[jackrrabbit]

it will come back [pt. 1] /// Yandere Shigaraki x f!Reader

Summary: You have a bad habit of picking up strays, and the half-dead villain you find bleeding out in a dumpster is no exception. [Part 2] [Part 3]

A/N: Low budget yandere for my greasy king. This concept has definitely been done before, but I couldn’t resist. This is my first non-smut on this acct and I’ll be so sad if it bombs 😭

Title from the Hozier song: “don’t let it in with no intention to keep it / jesus christ, don’t be kind to it / oh honey don’t feed it / it will come back.”

Tags/warnings: light yandere, minor injury, angst, Shiggy likes you, reader needs a friend and a good night’s sleep. [In later parts but not in this one: violence, sex, more yandere, 18+]

You’ve always had a soft spot for strays. Maybe that’s why you became an ER nurse—from the first abandoned puppy you brought home as a kid to the patients you refuse to give up on even when it looks hopeless, you’ve never been able to turn a blind eye when something needs your help. Sometimes (times like this) you wish you knew better. It’s hard enough to take care of yourself these days.

Today’s shift was…what, 16 hours? 17? The 20-minute walk from the bus stop to your apartment building feels like it takes twice that long in the rain. God, you need a shower. And a decent night’s sleep, preferably for at least 12 hours. Tomorrow’s your day off, and you’re ready to take advantage of it the best way you know how: Netflix, soju, and your favorite vibrator. But tonight? As soon as you’re clean, you’re going to pig out on leftovers and collapse into the bed that’s the only halfway nice piece of furniture in your shithole apartment. You really do deserve a break; you’ve earned it.

Unfortunately, as usual, the universe has other plans.

You hear him before you see him: wheezing, choked breaths, like someone’s trying to breathe with an anvil on their chest. You’re not quite out of nurse mode so your mind starts trying to diagnose the issue before you even register what you’re hearing. Fluid in the lungs, possibly blood. That hacking isn’t good. Broken ribs? Definitely bruised. But probably not a puncture…

The breathing is coming from down an alley next to your building. It’s dark enough that you can’t see from the street what’s making the noise. And you’re not a fool, you know it’s a bad idea to walk down pitch-black alleys late at night, especially in this area—a neighborhood you’re living in by necessity, because it’s the only place cheap enough for you to get by. But the coughing…it just sounds so awful. It sounds like it hurts.

Your phone’s already in your hand with 119 dialed and ready to call (standard practice when you’re walking home by yourself), but you turn the flashlight on and shine it down the alleyway. “Hello? Anyone there?”

Nothing responds, but you can still hear the breathing. You step in a little deeper, swinging your light from side to side and looking over the heaps of trash bags overflowing from the dumpster. The raindrops make clicking sounds as they hit the plastic, and you can hear gurgling from a rain spout down the side of the building, but the wheezing doesn’t stop.

One more step. And then one more. You wish there was something you could do to make the splash of your rain boots in the puddles a little less loud. Something about this situation—the rain, the dark, the flat grey light from your cellphone, and that horrible hacking breath—it makes you feel like you’re walking into a horror movie. But you don’t stop walking.

The hacking is coming from a man propped up on the wall between a few XL bags of trash. The black outfit he’s wearing almost blends into the bags, but a mop of grey-blue hair gives him away. His head is slumped onto his chest, and if he’s conscious he doesn’t show it. “Hello?” you ask again, even less confident that you’re going to get a response.

No answer.

The smell of garbage is…ugh…hard to ignore, but on top of it is an oppressive stench of copper coming from the man passed out in the trash. You kneel down to get a better look and yep, he’s covered in blood. It’s hard to make out in the low light, but there’s a trio of long gashes in the man’s abdomen, cutting apart the skin and flesh so deep you can see traces of a slim layer of yellow fat between all the inky clotted blood. It looks like he was attacked by an animal. Or someone with an animal quirk. There are a lot of villains in this neighborhood.

And the coughing...definitely internal injuries. Whoever this guy is, he needs treatment. You hold up your phone to hit the call button on your pre-dialed 119—

“Don’t.” The voice is a growl, low and surprisingly firm despite the scratchiness. You jerk back and clutch your phone to your chest, caught off guard not just by the interruption but by the intensity of the face glaring up at yours.

His eyes are red. “You need an ambulance,” you tell him in your calmest nurse voice.

“If you try to call the police, I’ll—kill you,” the man says, but the threat is a little less threatening when he has to stop in the middle to retch blood onto his own chin.

You glare back at him but don’t call the emergency number. There are a lot of of reasons why he wouldn’t want to go to the hospital, but the most obvious one is probably true. “You’re a criminal. A villain?”

He doesn’t respond, choosing instead to keep glaring at you like you’ve committed some mortal sin against his ancestors by having the nerve to check on him and try to help him. Somehow it pisses you off. When you were getting your ADN, you once took a temp job doing health screenings at a local middle school and you would always get so annoyed at the kids. Didn’t they see you were just doing your job? Why is it so hard to understand that what you’re doing is for their own good?

Stupid kids. Stupid villain. “You’d rather bleed out and die?”

The man bares his teeth at you, and it’s a pretty disturbing scene considering how they’re covered in scarlet. “You think they’re going to save me? Think I’ll go to the hospital and get all my HP restored?”

He’s mocking you now. You only have a second to move out of the way before he spits off to the side. “I mean…that’s how a hospital works.”

“If you think I would—make it out of that ambulance alive, you’re—dumber than you look.” His voice is interspersed with coughs.

“Well, you’re not going to live if I leave you here.” You hold up your phone, ready to call the ambulance, but in a shocking display of agility the man lunges forward and grabs it out of your hand. “Hey, wait! Give that…back…”

Your voice trails off as your phone crumbles—literally crumbles to dust in the man’s fingers. Once he’s satisfied that there’s no way for you to call the cops, he slumps back onto the trash bags and closes his eyes, apparently exhausted from the effort.

Goddamnit…! For a second, you can only stare blankly at the pile of dust that used to be your $300 smartphone. And then you’re seized by something, maybe not hatred but an annoyance so strong you can feel it in your throat, and you decide right then and there that this villain is not going to die. You’re going to save him. Out of spite.

You’re not sure how you manage to half-carry him from the alley to your apartment, but you do. You’re lucky it’s ass-o-clock at night and no one’s in the lobby or the elevator, or you’d definitely be getting some looks trying to lug a maimed body around. What would you say if someone did call the cops? Don’t worry, don’t worry about it officer, it’s just my friend drank a little too much, oh those wounds? We were at a costume party, haha…

But no one sees you, and no one calls the cops. The man is unconscious the whole time you’re carrying him, and by the time you have him laid out on a shower curtain on your living room floor his breathing is a little bit shallower than it was before. You’ve got your tools—nothing fancy, just some gauze and closures and antiseptic from your personal first aid kit. It’s not much, but it’ll have to be enough.

“Let’s get to work, asshole,” you tell the unconscious body in front of you, and you crack your knuckles.

///

The day after you pick the villain out of the garbage, your body decides that it’s not going to let you sleep in no matter how much you need it. You can tell because the huge windows in your bedroom—the only saving grace of this apartment, honestly—are depositing golden-pink sunrise light over everything you see when you open your eyes, including the villain’s face. Which is about six inches away from yours.

“You smell like death,” you tell him sleepily. He doesn’t move.

He’s…probably in his early twenties, you think, but it’s hard to tell because of all the wrinkles. His hair is on the longer side, and it’s striped with rusty brown smears from his blood. Again, you notice how red his irises are. Have you ever seen someone with eyes that color before? You’re pretty sure you haven’t.

“You slept for a long time,” the villain says, finally moving back so he’s not breathing into your mouth.

“Yeah, I was tired. From saving your life.” You sit up and rub your temples. “I’m thirsty…”

Before you can finish your complaint, the villain is holding a glass of water out to you in an awkward 4-fingered grip.

“Um, thanks, I guess.” You suck down the water and immediately feel better, enough that you realize how wrong it is that he’s up and moving around and probably undoing all your hard work. “You should be lying down.”

“The floor hurt, and I was bored.”

“Lie on the couch then. You can watch TV. But first—“ He’s sitting on the edge of your bed next to you, and you make him lie down flat so you can look at the injuries. They’re not nearly as bad as they looked last night—no walk in the park, but at least you won’t have a corpse in your apartment in a few hours.

When you’re done inspecting him, he sits up and asks you for a shirt. You had to cut his off, not that it was any great loss. The thing was shredded. Him pointing it out is the only thing that makes you really realize he’s shirtless, so you give him an oversized pajama shirt of yours. It has the name and motto of your old high school on it, and the villain reads it out in a half-mocking tone when you hand it to him.

“Beggars shouldn’t be choosers,” you snap. “You should be grateful.”

“I am grateful,” he says, putting the shirt on. “But I don’t understand.”

“I mean, you need a shirt, right? It’s cold—“

“No. Not that.” He’s staring at you again, and you find it difficult to maintain eye contact. “Why you didn’t leave me where you found me last night.”

There’s a lot you could tell him, all of it a little bit true. You were curious. You believed him when he said he wouldn’t make it out of the hospital alive. You couldn’t leave him alone the same way you can’t leave abandoned puppies alone. You wanted to prove to him that you were right, and that being stubborn wouldn’t get him what he wanted. But you don’t say that. “You killed my phone, so you owe me a new one. And I can’t get that back if you bleed out.”

He’s looking at you like he doesn’t believe you, and you fidget under his gaze until he sighs and says, “Whatever.”

You have to let him lean on your shoulder when he walks back to the living room to lie down on your couch. How the hell did he even get to your bedroom by himself? You really didn’t think this through—what are you supposed to do with an infirm possible villain who can barely walk unsupported without opening his injuries back up?

But that’s a problem for tomorrow you to deal with. Today, you’re content to set your laptop up on the coffee table so the two of you can watch TV in…oddly companionable (if you’re not imagining it) silence. It’s almost the lazy day off you were daydreaming about before you got yourself into this mess, and the atmosphere is so relaxed that before you can really decide whether to force the man to go to the hospital or turn him out on the street (or…?) you’re dozing off on your couch like there isn’t a potentially dangerous stranger lying beside you with his head just a few inches from your lap.

When you wake up, your problem is solved for you. He’s gone, and it’s like he was never there—except you’re down a cellphone and a pajama shirt, and your shower curtain is drenched with blood. You wrap it up with the rest of the soiled medical supplies and toss all of it in a dumpster a mile away from your building without knowing exactly why.

///

It’s not the last you see of him, but somehow you had a feeling that was going to be the case.

He scares the shit out of you the first time he visits (over time, that’s how you’ll start to think of his little unannounced drop-ins: visits. Like you’re being visited by a ghost or something). You’re coming back from another grueling shift in the ER, so tired you think you might be sleepwalking, and what do you find when you come in your apartment but a strange white-haired man sitting on your couch eating dry cereal out of the box and flipping through one of your books?

You nearly piss yourself.

He doesn’t seem surprised, which makes sense, considering he’s a villain and he’s probably used to pulling this dramatic entrance thing on people. He certainly doesn’t seem the least bit threatened when you brandish the mini canister of pepper spray on your keychain and demand that he tell you how he got in if he wants to retain the power of eyesight.

“It was unlocked,” he says.

“It was not unlocked,” you reply, rolling your eyes. You may be sleep deprived, but you’re not careless. Never careless.

“Whatever. Calm down. You’re not going to use that on me.”

He’s right, but you don’t want to admit it. If he wanted to do something to hurt you, he could’ve done it that first night. And you’re too tired to really put up a fight, so you just put the cap back on the pepper spray and flop down next to him on the couch. “What the hell are you doing here?”

He looks at you curiously from between his shaggy bangs, like you’re the one intruding in his home and not the other way around, then reaches out to hand something to you. “Here, payback.”

It’s a cell phone—not a smartphone like the one he destroyed, but a flip phone circa the 2000s, the kind that forces you to press “9” four times to get the letter “F”. You stare at it for a second, then look back at the villain. “Are you kidding? Did you get this from a museum?”

“Take it or leave it.” His feet are propped up on your coffee table, but you can’t make yourself care. Actually, it looks nice…him stretched out with an odd look of comfort on his lanky form.

You lean back on the couch and kick up your feet next to his. “Fine. Thanks, I guess.”

He shrugs.

“How are your wounds healing?” Why are you trying to make conversation with this guy? He’s…a villain, right? Not that you’ve ever received affirmative confirmation of that fact, but the hesitance to call the police and the breaking and entering are pretty good tells. But…it might be weird, but since you picked him up that day, you’ve felt a kind of kinship with him.

Alone. Abandoned. No place to go. No one to save him. It’s not a pretty comparison, but you can’t deny it rings true.

Maybe that’s why you pick up strays.

“They’re fine,” he tells you after so long a pause that you’ve almost forgotten your question. “Doesn’t even hurt anymore.”

You take a long look at him, at his posture—he’s relaxed, but his abdomen is crunched a little bit, curled in on himself so subtly that even you wouldn’t have noticed it if you weren’t looking. It’s not your problem. He’s an adult, and you’re sure he could be seeking real medical attention if he really needed it. You’re in no way obligated to perform some kind of checkup on this arrogant dick who literally broke into your apartment to give you a shitty phone and eat your cereal. The sensible thing to do is to tell him to forget that you live here and hopefully never see him again.

His head tips back to rest on the top of the couch, and he holds your book up to read. At this angle his long hair is out of the way of his face, and you notice among the deep-set creases in his skin a pair of wide scars across his right eye and on the corner of his lips. They’re pale and faded—old, then—but they look off to you, and after a while of snatching glances at his face you realize it’s because they’re healed badly, extraordinarily badly, the kind of healing that you don’t see very often because it only occurs when a stubborn patient tries to let a particularly nasty injury heal on its own. The part of you that isn’t sensible wonders how old he was when he got those scars.

Has he learned his lesson?

You doubt it.

“Lie down,” you sigh. “Let me see the cuts.”

Which is how you find yourself examining this annoying villain again, checking on his injuries and giving him recommendations for care like you’re his personal nurse or something. It’s not a role you enjoy playing, but at least he takes it without complaint, and you start to wonder if maybe this is why he broke into your apartment in the first place. If anything, he looks calmer when you’ve flipped up his shirt and prodded at his wounds, his eyes closing slowly and freeing you of that scarlet-red gaze.

He’s like a cat, you think, and then you shake your head and remind yourself that it’s a terrible idea to think of this man—this grown man who is probably a great danger to you and others—as a wild animal you’re trying to domesticate.

When he finally leaves (only after you drop a couple dozen unsubtle hints about how long you’ve been at work and how exhausted you are), you take a moment before you sink into bed to look at the flip phone. It’s no nicer than your original impression, but as you scroll through the screens you notice that it’s factory-new, except for one thing: there’s a contact programmed in, a phone number with an area code you don’t recognize listed under “T”. And you don’t want to be curious…

…but you are. Shocking.

Down the rabbit hole it is, you decide. So you text him.

///

[You: 12:03 AM] > Hey it’s (Y/N) > (the girl whose apartment you broke into) > What does T stand for? [T: 12:07 AM] > What do u think [You: 12:09 AM] > ?? [T: 12:09 AM] > My name > Dont you know who i am [You: 12:10 AM] > Are you famous? [T: 12:10 AM] > You dont watch the news do u [You: 12:11 AM] > Not really > What’s your name then [T: 12:12 AM] > … > Didnt u say u had to sleep [You: 12:15 AM] > Oh yeah > Whatever I guess > Good night

[T: 2:34 AM] > Its Tomura > Dont look it up

[You: 8:02 AM] > Ok > I won’t > Tomura

➠ [Part 2]

[easyqualifymoney]

What Is a Payday Loan? How It Is Work?

Payday loans are a significant expense, medium-term — and unsafe — credits. There are less expensive options accessible for you.

A payday loan is a significant expense, transient advance for an average quantity — normally $300 to $400 — that is intended to be repaid with your next check. Payday loans require just an income and bank account and are frequently made to people who have poor or nonexistent credit.

Financial specialists alert against payday credits — especially if there’s any possibility the borrower can’t repay the advance promptly — and suggest that they look for one of the numerous alternative lending sources accessible all things being equal.

Payday loans appear to be unique in practically every state. They may pass by names, for example, loan, conceded deposit, conceded presentment, or credit access business.

How do payday advances work?

A payday moneylender will approve your income and checking financial records data and deliver money in as short as 15 minutes at a store or, if the transaction is done on the web, by the next morning with an electronic exchange.

In return, the moneylender will ask for a signed check or approval to electronically withdraw cash from your bank account. The loan is expected following your next payday, regularly in two weeks, but sometimes in one month.

If the loan is given at a store, the moneylender will make an arrangement for you to return and repay when the advance is due. If you don’t expose, the moneylender will run the check or withdrawal for the credit amount plus bonus. Online moneylenders will start an electronic withdrawal.

Online payday loans may experience an immediate payday moneylender, which makes its own decisions about credits, or brokers, who offer your advance to the highest bidder. The two circumstances carry risk, but if you believe you should take a payday loan, pick an immediate loan specialist to avoid added costs and the danger of fraud.

What amount would I be able to get with a payday loan?

The money you can get varies by your state’s laws and the condition of your accounts. Most states that permit payday loaning cap sums around close to $300 and $1,000.

This doesn’t mean you’ll be endorsed for the highest amount permitted by law. A payday moneylender will think about your pay, costs and payday loaning history to decide the amount you can sensibly be required to take care of.

What do I require to get a payday credit?

To meet all requirements for a payday advance you ordinarily need an active bank account, an ID and proof of income, for example, a compensation stub. You should be at least 18.

You can be dismissed for a payday loan, despite having income and a ledger, for a few reasons, including:

· You don’t bring in enough cash. Loan specialists ordinarily need at any rate $500 month to month overall gain

· You don’t meet reimbursement necessities. States may have explicit laws restricting the amount of your pay you can spend, and every loan specialist may have its own calculation to check the danger you won’t reimburse.

· You already have outstanding credit. Banks buy into an organization that can follow credits continuously.

· You are a well-trained military. Government law keeps payday moneylenders from making momentary credits at over 36% APR to military individuals. A few banks discover ways around the law, yet others prohibit them as clients.

· You have a new liquidation.

· You have recently bounced checks.

· You have not been employed long enough.

· Your bank balance has been opened too as of late.

What amount does a payday loan expense?

The expense of a loan from a customer-facing facade payday loan specialist is regular $15 for each $100 acquired, as per research from the government Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. For a two week credit, that is viably a 391% APR.

Online payday loan specialists will in general charge higher rates and regularly guarantee exceptions from state rate covers. The CFPB found the middle online payday advance expense $23.53 per $100 acquired. That is a 613% APR.

If the credit isn’t reimbursed in full on the primary payday, another account charge is added and the cycle rehashes. Within a couple of months, borrowers can wind up owing more in interest than the first credit sum. The normal borrower pays $520 in charges to consistently acquire $375, as indicated by The Pew Charitable Trusts.

That is the reason payday credits are hazardous — it’s not difficult to get caught in a pattern of obligation and costly to get out.

Does taking care of payday loans assemble credit?

Not generally. Most payday moneylenders don’t cover time installments to credit departments, so the advance can’t help your financial assessments or assemble your credit.

If you don’t take care of the advances, however, your credit can be harmed. The payday loan specialist may report the default to the departments or offer the obligation to a debt enforcement agency that will do as such, harming your scores.

What happens if I can’t reimburse a payday advance?

Loan specialists will keep on attempting to pull out cash from your record, now and then breaking sums into more modest lumps to expand the opportunity the installment will experience. Each bombed endeavor can trigger bank charges against you.

Simultaneously, payday banks will begin calling you and sending letters from their legal counselors. They may even call your own references.

A lender may attempt to arrange repayment with you for some piece of the cash owed. Or then again the moneylender may re-appropriate the credit to an obligation gatherer, which could document a common claim.

If the claim is successful, the subsequent court judgment against you stays public for a very long time and can prompt the capture of your resources or garnishment of your wages.

Payday loan choices to consider

Most people who take out payday advances state they have different alternatives, as per a Pew survey. Borrowers state they could do the accompanying — which are all normally preferred alternatives over a payday advance:

· Decrease costs (81%)

· Delay giving some bills (62%)

· Acquire from loved ones (57%)

· Get an advance from a bank or credit union (44%)

· Utilize a credit card (37%)

· Collect from employer (17%)

Investigate approaches to uncover quick money or more reserve funds in your financial plan, including selling assets and expanding your pay with side gigs.

When your quick money emergency passes, begin assembling a secret stash. On the off chance that you can save even a few hundred dollars over the long run, at that point you’re reimbursing yourself as opposed to the bank when crises emerge.

Payday advance choices to avoid

Long term payday Installment loan: Available at the two customer-facing facades and online, these credits stretch out reimbursement terms to up to three years. You don’t need to bother with great credit — they frequently publicize themselves as no-credit-check installment loans — except for you commonly should meet the necessities of a payday advance. Interest costs mount quickly: A $2,000, three-year credit at 400% APR will wind up costing more than $16,000.

Auto short term Loans: These momentary loans, where they’re legitimate, expect you to surrender the title to your vehicle as a guarantee for the debt. They’re regularly contrasted with payday credits, yet they can be far and away more terrible: If you don’t reimburse, the loan specialist can hold onto your vehicle.

[judgement-free-sideblog]

Occupational Hazards

Barry Berkman x Reader

Three part series: It was just another job, he doesn't even had to kill anyone, but the way she looked at him was more dangerous than the bullets.

Part I Part II Part III

Angst with a happy ending

Warnings: Violence, cursing, blood, mention of abortion, stalkers.

Part III

"Someone got lucky" Natalie said when Barry entered his apartment, she was helping Nick with his lines for an audition and since the first pictures of his relationship with Y/N had emerged she always find an excuse to be near him and ask a million annoying questions "Although is kind of tacky to come to home with the same clothes from yesterday"

"No comment" That usually make her keep her distance but since he took forever to pour himself a coffee she followed him to the kitchen.

"So we were watching the nominations this morning, anything interesting to talk about it?" Somehow even when his job consisted in sell the lie he didn't felt comfortable talking about Y/N with his friends, and specially not that morning. He gave her a deadly glare and just walk inside his room.

Barry left the untouched coffee on his desk and collapsed on his bed, he wasn't tired, and the ideas revolving in his mind would keep him up for long enough.

They have watch several romantic comedies with wine and popcorn and then when they were discussing how impractical and unrealistic they were she apologized to him for the permanent damage that the article would cause in his attempts to get back to Sally, it wasn't strange since they have come to know about each other's past over the weeks, the strange part was that he was not actually concern about it. Sally had become a simple friend and he was sure even had to talk to him more often since Y/N came into his life, but he didn't had romantic feelings towards her anymore.

However the sudden realization that those feelings were gone because of the woman that was curled next to him, screaming at Cameron Diaz to run away from her idiot fiance; made him feel uneasy, he would have prefer to leave, but she was obviously anxious about the nominations the next morning so he agreed to take the couch, but she since she couldn't sleep they open another bottle of wine and start asking questions about each other.

He got to learn that the B&H menthol were her favorite cigarettes, but she was trying to quit and she actually only have one or two every couple weeks when she was to nervous, and he make himself a mental note to buy a package just in case. He told her about his favorite music, and a thing or two about her days in Afganistan, she told her how her mom was dying and her money was not to save her just to help her live her last days in least pain.

She asked about the most terrible thing he ever did and when he couldn't answer she went first.

"Do you want to know the real reason I broke up with Richard?" She said suddenly completely serious.

"You don't have to do that Y/N..."

"I want to, I feel like you have this weight on you and that you think of yourself as a monster, so do I. I may not be the trash human everyone think I am but that doesn't excuse what I have done. I have always hhave friends many friends men and women, and I even like some of them, that doesn't mean I sleep with them but for Richard every men I even talked to was someone I was fucking behind his back" She took one large drink of wine, it was clearly a painful memory "The thing I actually loved him, and I actually saw myself sharing my life with him, he was my agent back then and I could look over her rudeness most of the time... but then I got pregnant" She gave him a sad smile and he could see where the story was going so he remained silent even when he wanted to hold her. "He obviously didn't believe it could be his, and ask me to take care of it, or my life and my career and my mother treatment would be over so I did it. And don't get me wrong I know now that it was the right choice, believing I could have a family with that pig is ridiculous, but it wasn't my choice at the time and I don't know after that I just had to run away from him, I actually sleep with my costar, that's number 3 and use the scandal to break things with Richard, and now I'm here"

He hold her close to him and not thinking he started telling her about Korengal, about Moss and about Mayrbeck, she was comfortable to hold on to, she simply nodded and asked an occasional question about the time those things happened but she didn't judge him, and he eventually closed his own eyes and pretend for a moment that she was not paying him, that there was actually one human being who would love him not only despite his past, but also because of it. Someone who would feel safe enough with him, that she could sleep like that. He wanted to tell her that Sally was nice but she would never accept his truth, and she was like a getaway car, she had been the illusion to be Barry Block and leaving all behind, but her... Y/N came looking for Barry Berkman and she wasn't scared of him, but he also couldn't say it because he knew once things were over she would go back to his life and his little bubble will pop.

And that day was closer than ever, she was nominated as Outstanding supporting actress in a limited series or TV movie, and as she had said she had absolutely no chance to win because Maverick wouldn't let her, but the amount of opportunities that would come after if she get nominated would be enough to find a new agent, and walk away from that life, so she had been waiting to hear her name for months and now that it was finally there the look on her face was enough to turn down all of his precautions and he simply kiss her.

He take her by the neck in the middle of her excitement and simply put his lips onto hers and kiss her like she was the only thing he needed to survive, and he was only recovering his common sense when Y/N hold him tighter and kissed him back with the same intensity, he was happy beyond comprehension but reality find its way to his mind and eventually he let go. Y/N opened her mouth to say something but her phone start ringing with congratulations from her friends and that allowed them to have a minute to settle down.

"Don't worry about the suit, they are probably going to offer you one" She said to him finally after answering the phone the third time.

"Yeah sure, I am so happy for you. Congratulations" He was being honest, but he needed to acknowledge the kiss somehow "I'm so sorry I shouldn't..." for some reason apologizing for something he was not sorry for is what he did.

"Please don't apologize, it was nice, is being a long time since someone kissed me like that, say it was the heat of the moment, or that you simply felt like it, but don't be sorry about it because I'm not" The look she gave him, that's when he knew he was doomed, she wanted him, for how long? who could tell, but he was much of a coward to find out, so he make up an excuse and didn't even touch her when he said goodbye, and just walked away.

Fortunately the next weeks past in a blur, a couple days later their Variety interview was the subject of an angry call from Sally for not telling her, and endless banter and teasing from his classmates wich lead to shaming him into bet on her in Jermaine Emmy's pool.

He had tell the story of how they met more times than he could remember, and there was little to no time to be alone with her, other than the choreographed PDA they had agreed beforehand, and she even had to leave for two weeks to New York for another set of endless interviews, on wich she made sure to get his name out at least once, he watched them and pretend that he was the actual loving boyfriend waiting for her return even when his mind kept reminding him he was not.

He had told her everything and she didn't judge him, and his heart was holding the hope that maybe, just maybe in the end she could be a friend since he felt undeserving of something else, and by the time he was at her place waiting for her to go to the ceremony he had already promised himself he would be there for her no matter what.

The award ceremony was magic in itself, walking next to her on the red carpet and watching her like the star she was in the elegant black gown she had chosen was more than enough for him, but there were also a lot of famous people who surprisingly treated him as if he belonged, and in the middle of that crowd he could finally found a moment of intimacy with her on the way she nervously hold his hand whenever Richard looked their way and when he got upstaged to introduce the Award Y/N was nominated in, he was attractive and charismatic but the smug on the bastard face when he read her name on the nominations and then when he finally said the winner (Zoe Saldana or someone like that) were enough to make his blood boil and mentally mark a bullet with his name on it.

***

"I just lose 300 grand" He whispered in your ear and you could smell a hint of perfume, it was perfect.

"Well next time bet against me, and listen to me when I talk" you fixed his bow tie as an excuse to touch him, he looked unrealistically hot, the tux the hair, even the incipient beard that had started to grow look fantastic on him. "I hate after parties, but Adrian says we should make an appearance and then we can get out of there"

He nodded and you could feel him trembling under your hands, he had been weird since the kiss and you can understand why, but you wanted to reassure him that you didn't give a fuck about his past, that Block or Berkman or whatever you only cared for Barry, that there was something in him that make you feel happy, that he calling out your bullshit was something you needed and that that kiss was the single most happy moment you ever had.

They drove you to the after party and you allowed the crowd to separate you from him while you mapped out in your mind how to talk to him on the way home, and then you felt it, the stench of bourbon and cigars, and a big hand pulling from her arm with strength, you paralyzed for a moment and the promise you had made yourself to kick his nuts the way Barry teach you fly away when he got in the middle of your conversation with a Mexican Director famous for not giving a crap about Hollywood who had a project on Netflix.

"Oh please don't let this man drag you tho those movies actual cinema is here in Hollywood, not paying monthly to watch on your leaving room" He smiled like a hyena and you desperately try to avoid him, but pull you closer and Alfonso simply gave you his card discreetly and walked away. "Quite the spectacle you have put on with the little soldier" he said letting go of your arm, but still blocking your way with his body. "Too bad is about to be over."

"Oh I was not aware you have a saying in when or for how long I am with someone" you spat at him desperately looking for someone to come closer so you could make an escape, but your heart broke when you saw Barry talking happily with whom you assume was his Sally Reed, and you felt alone and defeated and he must have seen that in your eyes because his poisonous tongue kept talking.

"He is good looking I give you that" he said looking in his direction and then back at you holding your chin and you fight with all your strength to not cry right there "But he is just a looser from Ohio, who was caught in the middle of all this glamour" he made a round movement with his hand and then pointed at you "And you are a drinking, smoking whore, you are not going to be the respectable wife of a soldier and retire to live in the suburban house with the white fence. Wake up from your dream Y/N, you need to be with a men who knows how to treat you and how to please you" His hand was on your waist and you felt disgusted by his touch and you cursed yourself for not screaming then and there to fuck off "Tell me little one, does your soldier know how to make you scream? Or does he bore you to death in bed" He was drunk it was obvious and you could feel his breath approaching you and could anticipate his movement, he was going to kiss you.

"Well I haven't recieved complaints" Barry's voice take you out of your trance state and you move away from Richard, he had put his hand on his shoulder and was pressing him steadily in his place, he was way taller and Richard almost look funny next to him "But we hardly ever make it to the bed do we babe?" He possessively take you by the waist and pull you away from him straight to his lips and kissed you voraciously, something that people around you actually notice because you could hear a couple of whistles.

"Are you okay?" He whispered quiet enough so only you could hear and you nodded yes "Such a pleasure to meet you finally, Barry Berkman" He offered his hand and Richard took it trying to put out his charm again.

"The famous Barry, so you are the man taking away our beautiful Y/N to make her a decent woman" He teased you again. You were no longer shaking and Barry's presence gave you courage.

"I think is the other way around" You search inside his jacket for a pack of cigarettes you saw him put there earlier an took one to your mouth "I'm trying to make this beautiful man and indecent creature" Barry quickly offered you fire and then he looked to Richard who was obviously angry at him.

"And you are succeeding honey, anyway I'm going to have to take her away for good, bye Richard" He didn't give him a chance to respond and you were already walking towards Sally, she was there as the plus one of her costar in Richard's movie and she was a lovely person, who only wanted to reassure you she and Barry were done, offered you her friendship and asking for acting advice.

"You want to get out of here?" You said once you have talked to almost everyone but this time Barry make sure to not leave your side in case Maverick come close again.

You walked outside and the car was waiting for you, and different from other times he didn't let your hand go once you were inside, instead he put his arm around you and hold you closer to him.

"I'm so sorry, I paralyzed, I was freaking out and I didn't pushing away, I feel so ashamed" you started speaking against his chest with tears finally coming from your eyes.

"Hey there, it's okay" He patted your back and kissed the top of your head, his voice was calming like a balm taking away the pain "That guy is a jerk, at least he is getting the point now, you were right. What kind of asswhole needs to see a woman with another man in order to understand she doesn't want him?"

"We hardly make it to the bed?" You said smiling "I liked that one, the look on his face"

"I couldn't think anything else, was it too much?" He clearly was nervous about kissing you but this time you were not letting him go so easily.

"Maybe, would you consider this too much?" You pull his face down to kiss him but he didn't move, he kissed you back, not as theatrical as before and his lips felt soft on yours and you could feel his hand on your neck holding you close to him and the other caressing your hair, it felt like pure electricity and little by little he started pushing his tongue inside of yours, and you were surprised by the dominant way he kissed you and the tender way he was holding you.

You were interrupted once the driver announced you were home and once you were inside you could see him burying his hands in his pockets like he didn't know what to do with them.

"We shouldn't" He said finally but his eyes meant something else "I mean I'm still working for you"

"And you say you were no prostitute" you smile at him, using him as support so you could take off your heels and tossed them somewhere in the living room "Are you coming or not?" You take his hand and point to the staircase with your head.

"Yes ma'am" he answered with a grin a followed you upstairs leaving tender kisses in your bare shoulders.

***

Barry wake up with her naked body still wrapped around him, her dress that had been almost impossible to take off was in the floor in some corner and he went to put on his boxers so he could get downstairs, it was 7:00 am and he wanted to make her breakfast, even if he couldn't figure out his way in the kitchen, but he chose to take a leak first.

He was walking out of the bathroom, with the memories of the previous night burning in the back of his head and then he listened it, the familiar sound of a gun going off and he panicked, because it wasn't in his hands, and then a stinging pain in his shoulder, an actual relief because whoever was shooting didn't knew what their were doing, he collapsed on his back next to de bed and hit his head making all blurry but he was listening.

The noise wake Y/N and Barry could hear her scream when she saw him bleeding, and his mind was only thinking in fighting back, then the lights turned on and he could see her, the figure shaking at the door holding the gun.

"Why? Why did you had to choose him?" Adrian's voice had a high pitch on it "I was the one supposed to comfort you, and to hold your hand last night Y/N!!!" She shot at her but thankfully she was terrible and she missed, barry didn't move waiting for a moment to reach for one of the guns he had hide in her room months ago, begging to not bleed out before he could.

"Leave that alone for once" Maverick voice said from the door "And you get dress" He tossed a night gown to Y/N that was covering herself with a bedsheet, he hit Adrian on the face making her fall to the ground and took the gun away from her hands.

"What the fuck Richard?" Y/N scream at him, and she put on the gown "What the fuck are you doing in my house" She attempt to run towards Barry but he stopped her.

"Oh I wouldn't do that sugar" He sounded drunk or something else, but he had enough coordination to hold the gun better than Adrian that now was a crying mess in a corner. "Sit here and don't move" He forced her to sit on the bed and went to were Barry was trying o stand with a hand holding on the bed. "Come on soldier sit with your whore"

"Adrian why did you do this?" Y/N was talking to the young girl, but she couldn't even look at them she was curled in the floor sobbing and holding herself. "I cared for you, you were like my sister, I loved you"

"Oh, did you hear that?" Richard laughed and went to pick Adrian by the hair and forced her to look at Y/N "A sister, but that's not what you wanted right? You'll see Y/N this lady here found something interesting about your prince charming here, and out of her so called love for you she came to me to help her solve your problem, tell me sweetheart have this man told you why did he came home from the war? He is a fucking murderer." His words sound poisonous and Y/N look shocked, but Barry new it was more about how he got that information than the actual fact that Barry had killed someone.

"What do you want Richard?" She said and her voice was soft, she even move apart from Barry in what he hoped was pretend disgust "What are you talking about?"

"This guy you chose killed an innocent man and walked away with it, and your lovely friend here was so worry about you that last night she was too drunk to shut up, so this morning she convinced me to came here and help her get you to safety, but oh no, we are too late" he started pacing around the room making an fake distressed face, and he ignored Barry for a moment "When I got here he had already snapped, he killed your friend..." He pointed the gun to Adrian's head an ignored Y/N pleas and simply killed her "And then I have trouble imagining what could have happened" He had a sadistic grin and took Y/N by the hair and force her to kiss him. "What do you think? He killed himself when he saw what he did?" He pointed his gun at Barry's head who was looking down with his hands behind his back "Or the coward shot you before he killed himself?" He caressed her face with the smoking gun and enjoyed the terror in her face "What is it going to be dear?" He said trying to force another kiss on her.

"Maybe think better asswhole" Barry said and out of nowhere he took the gun frrom his hand an shot him in the head under the scared face of Y/N and even when he was relieved he had saved her he could assume he had lost her forever.

***

The official version was that Richard was high on many different substances, he broke into your house and tried to kill you but Barry took that bullet and then when Adrian tried to calm him down he killed her and out of fear and his agitated mental state he end up blowing up his brains.

There was no reason to disbelief you, he had make a scene at the party the previous night when you left and the gun was registered, and in his house they found footage of your apartment entrance and some pictures taken from the front building as Barry had suspected.

After some harsh couple of months and a very well elaborated lie things were settled down and you even were about to start working on a new independent film.

Everything was perfect but you still missed him, you haven't been able to manage the initial shock and he interpreted as you being too disgusted by his lifestyle and he choose to go back to his anonymous life, to his acting class and being Barry Block, even when press won't leave him alone for days.

A year passed in a blur and you felt hurt that he didn't called you, and you were too proud to look for him, and suddenly one day, Sally walked in for a table read for the movie, and after it was over, and after impressing everyone there including you she timidly approach.

"Hi, I don't want to be awful, but do you remember meeting me?" She said and it take you by surprise the humility she showed.

"Sure you were Barry's friend right?" You said hiding the pain his name produced in your heart.

"Oh my god you remember that's so sweet of you, I just wanted to say how glad I am to work with you, you are such an inspiration" She seemed sincere but you wanted to run away from everything that could remained you of him "And I'm sorry it didn't work out for you guys, I mean he is still obviously in love with you, but he is such a non violent guy that I get why he walked away, but you are a fighter and I just wanted to say I respect you so much"

You smiled and change the subject, and praise her acting buying you enough time to process her words and a glimpse of hope start shining, maybe it was not all lost.

***

"I'm lady Macbeth, again" Natalie's voice was proud of herself, this was the third time they were doing the Shakespearean night but this time he hadn't get Macbeth like the previous year but Benedick in a scene from Much ado about nothing, a comedy since Gene thought he needed to experiment more with that genre, and he had cast Saha as Beatrice, but she didn't have the slightest interest since he had actually given her a second role as Helena in Midsummer.

By the time he was ready to come out in scene and declare his love for Beatrice the woman looking against him was clearly not Sasha but he could have known her figure in any place and so he went and started talking not sure of what to expect.

BENEDICK: I do love nothing in the world so well as you; is not that strange?

BEATRICE: As strange as the thing I know not. It were as possible for me to say I loved nothing so well as you: but believe me not; and yet I lie not;

I confess nothing, nor I deny nothing. I am sorry for my cousin.

BENEDICK: By my sword, Beatrice, thou lovest me.

BEATRICE: Do not swear, and eat it.

BENEDICK: I will swear by it that you love me; and I will make him eat it that says I love not you.

BEATRICE: Will you not eat your word?

BENEDICK: With no sauce that can be devised to it. I protest I love thee.

BEATRICE: Why, then, God forgive me!

BENEDICK: What offence, sweet Beatrice?

BEATRICE: You have stayed me in a happy hour: I was about to protest I loved you.

BENEDICK: And do it with all thy heart.

BEATRICE: I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest.

BENEDICK: Come, bid me do any thing for thee.

BEATRICE: Kill Claudio.

The last line resonated in his mind for a moment, but she turned to the audience to make a bow and so did he happy to receive the applause, and she went to take his hand on hers and take one more bow before leaving the stage to Natalie.

"What are you doing here?" He asked her once they were apart from everyone.

"Playing Beatrice, Gene is an old friend of mine, I'm surprised he didn't told you, he loves to name drop, I asked him if I could read for this, I do miss theater you know?" She said finding a chair to sit on, the costume looked beautiful on her.

"That's not what I meant" He started keeping his distance.

"You never called, I went to pick you from the hospital and you leave before I got there, you avoid my calls..." Y/N was holding her hands together nervously. "

"I didn't think I should be around you, and Richard was no longer a threat" he said giving in and sitting next to her. "I do my job and walk away, that's how it works".

"Don't call it a work you didn't get paid" She said hurt by his words and he regretted immediately "We both know it wasn't that anymore that night... Barry I would not give you the crappy speech of how much I love you, but I do, I love you, with all the shitty parts that come along with you, if anything I love you more about those, am sorry I freaked out at the moment but I was sure he was going to kill you, I wasn't scared for me nor of you, for you plenty"

He remained silent for a moment and then he finally stood up, and for a moment she thought he would walk away, but he didn't.

"Do you want to get coffee?" He asked simply.

"Will you hold the mug like a normal person?" She joked.

"I'll ask for a paper cup with no handle if it's better" he said extending his hand to her. "And for what is worth, I love you too"

She took his hand and walked with him into the night, but he couldn't feel the darkness anymore, and the future looked bright for once.

The end

I liked this a lot, I hope you enjoy it

[findmeinpops]

FindMeInPops’ 12 Days of Ficmas: Day Seven - A Christmas Emergency

It’s that time of year again where I try to pump out a drabble or one-shot for each of the twelve days leading up to Christmas! I have a couple already written but some of them will be written by prompt and on request - I have a prompt list that I’ll reblog now, if you want to take a look - so bare with for any editing errors! Enjoy, my loves, and have a happy festive season :)

And quick note, if anyone prefers AO3, the link to my 2019 12 Days of Ficmas collection is here. x

Prompt: Person A starts decorating for Christmas only to realise that all of their strands of lights have stopped working. They're really upset because they can’t afford to replace all of them so they call Person B to vent. An hour later, Person B shows up at Person A’s house with several strands of working lights and helps them decorate the house.

Ship(s): Sweet Pea x Fangs Fogarty

Rating: K+

CW(s): N/A

@riverdalebingo​: Christmas Emergency

Reindeer Games: Dasher - Decorations (loosely)

No, this was not happening. This could not be happening. Fangs threw himself onto the nearby sofa, the springs protesting at the excessive force but he could not find the energy to care.

Fangs Fogarty lived alone in a trailer in Sunnyside Trailer Park. Every year since he could remember, he would stare longingly at the Christmas lights that all of the houses in Riverdale would be covered in, and every year he would promise himself ‘next year, next year I’ll get some lights’. He told himself this every year until last year, when he put aside just enough to buy a string of three hundred multi-coloured fairylights. Fangs had been so incredibly proud as he hung them up in his trailer, enjoying the small piece of festivity he had been able to give himself. Once the first of January hit, he had wrapped them up carefully and stored them in a cupboard to be used the next year.

This year, Fangs had saved enough to buy himself a small, faux Christmas tree which he proudly sat on the table in his trailer. He had then wrapped the fairylights around the branches before plugging them into a nearby socket. And then they hadn’t turned on. He pulled the plug out and reinserted it several times, switching the socket itself on and off a few times too but the fairylights still refused to light up.

Frustrated did not begin to describe how Fangs felt in that moment. He should have checked the lights worked before going out to buy the tree; he would rather have a working string of lights to hang on the wall than a barren tree.

Money was always tight for Fangs, particularly around the festive season. The small amount he was paid meant that he could not usually afford more than the necessities and he was struggling to find a job that paid any higher due to his lack of qualifications. When his parents had died, Fangs was forced to drop out of school a year early to find a way to make money. He did not want to go into the system and he did not want to be a burden on any of his fellow Serpents, not for their lack of offering, but Fangs was stubborn. Because of this, there was no way that Fangs would be able to justify buying another set of lights.

The cheap phone Fangs had bought several years began to vibrate in his back pocket, the screen flashing with Sweet Pea’s name.

“Hey.” Fangs answered weakly, not able to muster up the enthusiasm.

“Hey Fogarty, what’s wrong?” Sweet Pea could head the upset in his tone immediately.

“Not much. Just, um…” how did he explain that he was getting upset over a set of Christmas lights. It was stupid, he told himself, some people had a lot less than him and he was getting upset over a set of fairylights.

“Seriously, Fangs, what ‘s wrong?” He persisted.

Initially Sweet Pea had been calling to let Fangs know that he would be a little late coming over the next day due to a complication at work, but as soon as he realised something was bothering his boyfriend, he needed to know what it was so he could help fix it or at least comfort him if he wasn’t able to. Sweet Pea could not help but worry about Fangs. He himself had been in Fang’s position a few years ago but lucked out when he got into an apprenticeship - he was now making a decent salary.

Wanting to help in whatever way possible, he offered Fangs money or to occasionally cover the groceries but each time he refused; the only thing that Fangs did let him do was to take him out once a week for a meal. Fangs seemed to be able to justify it as a date night, which Sweet Pea supposed it was, but he also needed to know that his boyfriend had at least one decent hot meal each week. Fangs Fogarty was a stubborn man and it frustrated Sweet Pea to no end.

“I was putting up that tree I bought,” Sweet Pea remembered the second-hand, three foot tall tree Fangs had found at a garage sale. It wasn’t the most glamorous of decorations but Fangs’ face had lit up when he had seen it and that was the only sign Sweet Pea needed to know that the crappy tree was worth it, “and the lights from last year don’t work. I packed them away carefully but I guess one of the bulbs has blown or something...”

“Ah, that sucks, I’m sorry.” Sweet Pea tried to comfort him but emotion-talk had never being one of his fortes.

“It’s stupid, getting upset over the lights but I can’t afford another set this year.” Something in Fangs’ voice seemed forlorn but also completely exhausted. “But I’m lucky to have this, I have food in my belly and a phone, goddamnit, I sound like a baby.”

“Hey, hey, hey.” Sweet Pea could not just sit by and let Fangs belittle and berate himself. “I know how excited you were to finally have some Christmas decorations up, it’s not stupid. You’re disappointed and upset, and it’s fine. Please, don’t beat yourself up.”

“Yeah, I guess.” The agreement in Fangs’ tone was completely fake and he did not try hard to hide it.

“Alright, Fangs, why don’t I come over to help cheer you up? Maybe bring some takeout?” Sweet Pea already had a plan forming in his head, an early Christmas present, if you will.

“It’s pretty late, don’t worry.” ‘11:30’ sat in the top corner of Fangs’ phone, although it looked more like ‘1.:3C’ due to the broken pixels scattering the worn screen.

“No, you need me.” It wasn’t a question.

“Fine, but no takeout, I have food here.”

Ten minutes later, Sweet Pea knocked on Fangs’ trailer door. It swung on the hinges as Fangs pushed it open but he could not catch it due to the tears that suddenly pricked at his eyes.

Sweet Pea stood on the front step, in one hand a box of 300 multi-coloured fairylights and a steaming bag of Chinese takeout in the other, but it was the beaming smile on his face which made Fang’s emotions run haywire. God, he loved this man.

[sitavnabi]

How I Saved $10000 in 10 Months

I’m not a saver by birth. I like to spend money. I view money as only one type of currency, not the most valuable one. Time comes first in the ranks, followed by energy, and then comes money. Money is not and has never been particularly valuable to me. It rarely ever brought me happiness but I was convinced while growing up that my net worth was a reflection of my self worth.

I never liked the idea of being frugal. I didn’t enjoy having to go without to prepare for a future emergency. For the last three years I have made a pretty consistent yearly amount through tutoring, babysitting, administrative tasks, and other similar odd jobs. But, I lived like I made a lot more. I wasn’t spending on luxuries and going out. I was just spending more than I had on things that I needed, or seemed to need. I became increasingly worried about not having enough money.

The fear of not having enough money, instilled into me at such a young age added to this terror churning inside me. I went to bed and woke up in frenzy of overwhelming nausea and tears.

But one day, after a particularly bad incident with a client, I decided that enough was enough. This particular client generously offered to pay my semester tuition in full in exchange for unlimited tutoring. Eternally grateful, I accepted. This client proceeded to give me the run around for four weeks and on the final day, had me drive over 30 miles from town to town chasing her for the check. After a grueling three hours, she called to let me know that she was in the hospital and her husband never agreed to give me the money.

I was embarrassed, humiliated, exhausted, spent, and so ashamed of myself for letting this person take advantage of me and exploit my needs. It was in that moment that I decided to stop letting money have any hold on me whatsoever. I was going to manage my money; it was not going to manage me.

I joined Frugal Families on Facebook and gathered several books to help me. I read Ana Newell Jones, Amy Dacyzyn, and Dave Ramsey among countless others. (I don’t necessarily recommend this but I like to read so it was a win win) You can get similar information by watching Youtube videos or short articles.

Through all my collectives, I found that managing finances and saving money comes down to a pretty simple idea: don’t spend money. But, my problem, along with many people, isn’t that I didn’t know HOW to save money, but that I couldn’t convince myself of WHY.

My thinking of money was all screwed up! I associated saving with withholding, going without, deprivation, dependence, poverty, and unhappiness. I held money in the top tier of my self esteem and felt that I needed it to prove to people that they should respect me. Putting $1000 in the bank and not touching it is infinitely easier than learning to love yourself if you don’t already. Once your self esteem has been tied into how much money you spend, its a tough knot to untangle.

So, I took these baby steps ( to all my Dave Ramsey fans out there). It took me a couple months to compile all these steps and even longer to start to truly follow all of them. I am 23 years old, I make about 24K a year, I am a part time college student, and I don’t have any kids or dependents. A lot of people may be discouraged from reading this article because maybe I don’t fit their demographic, make more or less, have fewer expenses or some other excuse. They may be right. I don’t know how well these steps may work for other people and I definitely cannot guarantee any results. It’s just a look into my own experience. But, if you want to break the ball and chain of money has around your ankle or maybe even save up $10000, grab a notebook and at least give this a try!

1.

Remove people from your life that you feel value money too much. These people are easy to identify: who in your life do you feel judges you the most? Limit contact with these people for a set period of time (maybe forever), or just until you save $10000. These people breed thoughts of inadequacy and manipulate us into spending money we don't need and becoming people we don't want to be, i.e. a woman in the Tightwad Gazette who admitted that she spent more money on her wealthy nephew’s Christmas presents than her own children.

2. 

Write down your goals, hopes and dreams (not financial goals). What kind of person are you now and what do you hope will change after you become financially stable? Where do you see yourself in ten years? What would you do if you had a million dollars? What are some things about your life that you wish you could change? Why can’t you? What are aspects of life that you are grateful for? What is your dream career? What are some of your insecurities and fears? Ask yourself all these questions and any more you can think of. This should be a private journal entry that you can look back to so, be as open as you can for yourself.

3.

Write down your financial goals. How much money do you want to save? My goal was $20,000.

4.

Analyze your spending. Print out the last few months of your bank statements. Make a list. In and out. What went into the bank account and what went out. This is on the bottom of every monthly statement.

5. 

Categorize all the items that went “out”. I use a pretty simple system for this: necessary and not necessary. Rent, car payments, gas, and doctors are needs. Mcdonald’s, make up, even buying books instead of borrowing them are not necessary. Be careful not to categorize non necessities as “wants”. This implies a careless decision was made and that we should feel bad or embarrassed about it. Our money is ours and we may choose to spend it however we wish. Remember that we want to feel more confident in our decisions through this process.

6.

Evaluate your needs list. Obviously rent and car payments can’t be negotiated down but if all your needs eat up more than half your income, see if anything can change. In my personal example, I had a car payment of $198/month. During the summer months, when babysitting jobs were scarce, I only made about $900/month. Coupled with rent, I had $100 left over every month to survive on. The solution was not easy, short term, or inexpensive. I had to buy a used car and get rid of my lease, find another side gig for the summer, or find a cheaper place to stay.

7.

Evaluate your non necessities list.Create a category for every expense (eating out, crafts, shopping, subscriptions) and then prioritize them in order of used. If you spent $300 this month on books, it goes to the top of the list. Next, think about what you could and couldnt live without. Put those in order too. Note: this does not mean cutting everything out. Think about what is important to you and what can change. Just because something isnt a basic need, does not mean it is not important. For me, going out with friends, and a small budget to grab some fast food if I was still hungry after lunch meant a lot. So those went to the top of my list.

8.

For future reference, I recommend using a debit card as cash to be able to track all your purchases. So this baby step is get a debit card at a bank that is near you with a safe and convenient ATM. Commit to putting cash onto the card in small amounts to avoid temptation, but often, like once a week. I never keep more than $50 available on my debit card at any time. I have worked my weekly amount down to just $15, just enough to eat out twice a week.

9.

PAY DAY. If you are like me and don’t have a regular deposit schedule, make one and keep to it. Be flexible about how often and how much you want to see your money grow. I tried a bi-weekly deposit schedule but learned that I prefer looking at how much I made at the end of the week. So, I deposit money into my account every Friday.

10.

You have money, now what do you do with it?? Consult your needs list and put aside the amount that you cannot change this month. Pay your bills immediately. 

11.

What is left over? Budget your non-necessities and leave that in your account. Take whatever is left and shove it into your savings account.

12.

Reconsider your budget. This is the part when you slowly trick your brain into enjoying frugality. Remember that amount that you shoved into savings? No you don’t! Next month, create your budget without that chunk of savings, so immediately after payday, shove it into your savings account after bills and before non-necessities. Don’t be discouraged if you have to touch your savings account because you went over budget. Just try to average out the same amount for 3-4 months. Also, even $5 is a hefty deposit amount if you’ve been picking away at your account for the past 6 months. Be proud of yourself for any and all progress!

This last step was very helpful to me because it helped me become more and more creative about how to live on less. I learned to prioritize my hobbies, treated myself sparingly, and invest time I had in place of money I didn’t have. Overall, I became much happier than I was.

Another tip, I’d like to include is to be kinder to yourself. In hindsight it is easy to look at my expenses and realize I could’ve put a little more away here and there but I have no regrets about the mistakes I have made. Step 4 was arguably the hardest thing I’ve had to do in my life; analyze my mistakes and have compassion for myself. Even going forward, the continued slip ups I had taught me more about myself and helped me to make better decisions the next time.

I know this article seemingly boils down to taking a portion of your income and putting it into a savings account. But quite honestly, it has nothing to do with money. I have calculated that I could have put an extra $5000 away in the last ten months if I had really stuck to my needs, but that wasn’t the point. I wanted to live a life without the fear of money: not having enough, always wanting more. I was afraid to check my bank balance and I couldn’t resist a great sale that added to my net worth. Since I started my journey to financial stability, I don’t worry as much about what I have. That isn’t because I have a lot, but because I always know exactly what I had and I am confident about my ability to work with it.  It shifted my mentality of depending on money to take care of me to realizing that only I am responsible and capable of taking care of myself and money is just one of many tools that can help me. Break the chain!

[charleshoyle]

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[malcolmarias93-blog]

low insurance sports cars

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes from different companies :cheaptoinsure.top

low insurance sports cars

low insurance sports cars. With the addition of a lot of custom parts, and even the limited time frames to insure your vehicle, even the best vehicles get their cost. The following features to look for when finding the best vehicles for you and getting the best rates. If you re looking for a high-cost vehicle, your vehicle insurance rates may be an issue, or the more affordable you want, you can get the auto insurance by itself. That s because each state requires the use of at least the same car insurance policy and more than the minimum amount of insurance. When you pay an independent insurance agent, our independent insurance agents can shop thousands of drivers s personal records over the years and help you choose the best comprehensive, collision, and comprehensive coverage for your vehicle to match. We help customers find an insurance agency that has the coverage to give their vehicle s price range and features to suit their needs! While there is much more to the car insurance cost after some time, that doesn t mean you have the time or. low insurance sports cars. At this point, drivers tend to prefer cheaper insurance rates for vehicles that can be driven off the road longer, rather than full-time at most. One of the best ways to make these factors work is by working with a company who specializes in auto insurance in North Carolina, such as Americo or . As far as car insurance goes, if you drive an old Ford Fusion, it’ll be worth it to have your own car insurance policy as well. It’s likely that you will need extra coverage if you’re a high-risk driver. The average American pays nearly $70,000 per year on auto insurance, according to the Auto Club of Southern California report, but many drivers aren’t getting enough of an insurance discount and many companies are offering better rates for drivers who drive more than just their state’s average. Some companies offer discounts to drivers who’ve held or maintained a job that requires them to drive at least 50,000. low insurance sports cars like a 911 or 911 car insurance that is available in multiple states. We’ll review the following states to help you decide which options will make sense for your local insurance requirements. If your state requires your to buy the liability coverage, you’ll want to consider the . All states in the U.S. require you to be at least 21 years old as a motorist to drive. Driving without the coverage will hit your motor vehicle registration for 4 years without registration. You’ll have to add a minimum of $300 insurance in the form of a Certificate of Self Insurance (CSP) to your car registration. You could be paying more than $1,000 for self insurance just after you’ve paid enough to get your certificate. The average state-required auto insurance ranges from $10-$20 per month. To save time, we’ll be including all you can buy. The average bill could be a few hundred dollars, and all you have to.

What is sports car insurance?

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What does sports car insurance cover?

What does sports car insurance cover? It basically covers anything involving collision and emergency traffic jam. If the car is insured, then you can assume it will actually be a liability suit. Insurance companies often combine this type of coverage with other types of insurance policies, so I am unsure whether insurance policies include this in a sports car insurance policy. So I was wondering if sports cars are insurance-related or insurance related? I m just curious to know. So I would like to know what types of insurance policies cover sports cars for accidents that happen while in the car? Sports cars, also known as sports cars or sports vehicles, may be the most expensive items on the vehicle itself. The cost of these cars is always highest. For sports cars, for instance, both average $500. This means it would cost an insurance company to take money from the average cost of a sports car to the average rate for a vehicle that comes with limited operating details. A sports car also typically is equipped with the capacity to power its vehicle, which comes naturally.

Sports car insurance for young drivers

Sports car insurance for young drivers. A recent survey firm from Policygenius has some specific, specific answers. It’s a good idea to do your research and shop for insurance quotes among states who have varying car insurance laws and regulations. While it’s not legal, states with varying laws and regulations tend to have fewer problems with insurance providers and lower out-of-pocket costs. The most affordable states for car insurance tend to be the most expensive where premiums are the lowest. So if you want to get the best prices, do some research to make sure there’s no hidden fees you’ve overlooked. If you’re looking for reasons not to get car insurance, it’s worth talking to an agent, as some states are more lenient about . Even if the state’s highest car insurance premiums are not nearly as high as their lowest, that doesn’t mean it’s a bad idea. If the state you live in has a reasonable car insurance.

How to get cheaper sports car insurance

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[oh-my-otome]

I recently went through my bank statements and saw how much I spent on Ikesen 😅 I feel extremely guilty spending so much. I've decided to not spend anymore and just use the coins in game (even though a new route is coming out😣) Do you think not getting the premium story parts is that big of a difference? I'm pretty much new to these games 😔

Uh oh, Precious! I think we’ve all been there! ahaha

You don’t have to never spend, if you don’t want to, but you can practice spending better!

I’ll list my own tips for otome budgeting– perhaps you or another corner-buddy may find something that you can apply, for your situation.

But first, you asked:Do you think not getting the premium story parts is that big of a difference?

Yes, there is a difference between the Normal story and the Premium story! 

For one, the Normal story is shorter. Certain dialogue, exposition, romantic and/or emotional progression will be omitted. 

It also comes with plainer attire, and cannot be re-read, unless you do the entire route all over again and choose the Normal story, instead of buying the Premium one.

However, you can always go back and buy the Premium story the next time you play a route! If you cannot afford it when you are playing it, don’t despair! Just save up for next time!

Now, on to how you can afford the things you want from otome games!

The important thing about money is not the money itself, but how you think about the money.

First, before you even consider whether to spend or to play for free, understand the type of player you are:

Do you play casually, as in once every few days? Maybe even skipping a week or two, or more?

Are you a daily player who logs in each day and collects free items?

Do extras like events, side stories, lotteries, grab bags and special gachas matter to you?

Are you a completionist, or are you only interested in certain characters?

Are you a creator who may need to have to a wide range of material to create content from?

Remember that all app games, no matter the genre, are designed on purpose to be addictive. There are counters and limited edition items for a purpose: to motivate you into spending more, and spending often.

No app game can exist without money, but you do not owe any game your money.

So before you hit the “Buy” button, ask yourself “why?” Why are you buying it, and how would you feel if you didn’t?

When you come across a side story, ask yourself if you really want it. If you’re just curious, perhaps you can talk to one of your game friends who already has it, and get their opinion on it, instead of reaching for your wallet first. 

Is the side story something that is only there for a limited time, or can you come back and buy it later? If it’s something that you think you may read more than once, then its value will be more long-lasting, in your eyes.

Do you really want that ranking prize because you genuinely like it, or do you only want it because it’s an exclusive item that others may admire? Is it something that you can see yourself putting on your avatar beyond the event? 

Questions like these can help you determine if you are spending your money wisely, for your own needs.

A completionist will need far more closet space and Stamina items than someone who only plays once in awhile. 

If you play very casually, you may regret spending $10 on some stories that you’re not likely to re-read, instead of buying something else that you wanted.

Someone who buys only the items related to their favorite handful of characters will save more money than the player who buys everything, no matter what character it is.

When it comes to the type of player you are, there is no correct type– there’s just you, and the way you feel comfortable playing.

Next, you will want to look at what you normally purchase, or what you would be purchasing, if you could spend the money.

If you’re more into attire, you’re going to need the closet space to go along with it. 

If you’re a speed-runner, tickets are going to be where you spend the bulk of your money, etc.

It also helps to understand what you are purchasing.

Look at this:

At first glance, this set includes 3,000 Charm.

In actuality, it includes more than that– between 4,500 and 8,250 Charm –depending on what you get as a grade (Excellent or Good), and if you use all of the Tea & Cake during x2 Lucky Time, or if you use it during x3 Lucky Time. 

And that’s not including the 3,000 Charm Makeup Palette that comes in the set. Plus, you get a guaranteed attire piece that you don’t have to rank for.

But if you do not want to gamble with your Stamina items, you may wish to buy a set that has a guaranteed Status amount, and no attire item, like one of these:

The above types of sets are fixed, meaning the prices and items do not tend to fluctuate. 

In other games, they change in some way or another:

To help budget, only spend the “extra” money that you can afford. “Extra” means something different to everyone.

For me, “extra” means: my rent and all of my other bills are paid, and I have food to last (or the money to buy it) until I am paid again, my transportation is secure (gas, or however you get around), and this money is not part of anything related to what was previously listed, nor is it part of what I will use in case of an emergency.

You’ll be able to figure out what “extra” means, for you, so give it some thought!

A tip for younger players, who don’t have their own money:

Keeping on top of your grades, and helping out in, and outside of, your home goes a long way, when asking for money for anything. 

If you are told “no,” an “I understand. Thank you for listening,” or the like will help foster a sense of responsibility and maturity between you and whomever it is, and next time may be a “yes.”

Of course, you’ll also want to make sure that you have permission to be making any purchases.

To help with your spending, younger or older, rather than having the money come directly out of a credit or debit account, use gift cards.

This way, you always know how much you have, and are less likely to overspend. 

Players who need to ask for money for games may have more luck asking for a gift card, than the money itself, because the money on the card can only be spent in a guaranteed, agreed upon place, at a set amount.

Depending on where you live, you can find iTunes and Google Play gift cards at big box stores, grocery stores, and convenience stores, in addition to online.

Also, there are usually sales on these types of gift cards, so you can save between $10-30, or more, depending on what the sale is. 

For example, iTunes gift cards occasionally have a Buy one, Get one (BOGO) x% off promo.

Heads up!:

If you have a Target store near you, there will be an iTunes BOGO 30% sale for Black Friday, November 23rd-25th!

For Apple players, remember: you will need an iTunes gift card, not an Apple Store gift card, as they are not one in the same!

When you use gift cards, it is easier to visualize your spending, giving you more control than if you spent indiscriminately. By using the same money to buy a card, you have already decided what your range of spending will be, for a given time.

Because you do not pay tax on gift cards, you are taking the same $20, let’s say, and putting it on something where you’ve made an agreement with yourself that this $20 is all you’ll be spending, at the time.

Speaking of tax, remember that when you make purchases in app games, regardless of how you make your purchase (gift card, credit or debit), you are also paying tax. 

And the amount of the tax increases, the larger your purchase is!

For instance, if you buy 100 coins for $0.99 USD, you are paying less tax than if you buy 3,500 coins for $33.99 USD. 

So if you need 3,600 coins for a set, but can’t afford 5,300 coins, which is the next highest amount, or you just want to have exactly 3,600 coins, you will be paying tax twice.

When it comes to events, remember that they are free content, just like the main story. 

If you are trying to stay within a budget, don’t get swept up by all of the bonuses, Stamina and Status sets that you could be buying, because you may wind up spending a lot of money to read stories which are free.

As for myself, I have several accounts for the games I play, and I spend money on them differently.

On my mains, I buy whatever I like that I can afford, and on my secondaries, I buy only closet and castle/garden space. 

Sometimes, if I see something that I really, really like, that I can’t do without, I’ll buy it for my secondary.

Since I also play four different games, I like to make sure that I have closet space open in each of them. I like to leave spaces open, so that I’m not tapping through my attire at the last minute, trying to decide what to delete, if I run out of space.

To cut down on buying Stamina items, I use my Energy every four hours for Cybird games, and every 5 hours for SLBP. That way, I can maximize my main and event status for free.

I prefer to buy for my special favorites, as well, so I always know how much I will need in order to buy what I want.

For example, a special side story in MidCin costs 500 coins, $4.99 USD. In SLBP, it is 6 pearls, $4.99, for POV specials.

I am never surprised by what I spend, since the price does not fluctuate much, so I can always plan ahead:

An After Episode will always cost 300 coins, an Ieyasu epilogue will almost always be 4 pearls, etc.

I find that it helps to think of the actual price, not it’s coin/pearl equivalent, since that is irrelevant outside of the game.

Just for fun, the next time you want to buy something in a game, try it for yourself:

Not: ‘do I have 300 coins for this epilogue?’But: ‘do I have $2.99 for this epilogue?’

So every time there is an event in SLBP, I know that I will need at least 8 pearls, since I always buy for Ieyasu and Mitsunari. In MidCin, I know that whenever there is an event, I will need the coins for Sid, and so on.

I usually buy a $100 gift card, and parcel it out amongst my four mains. I don’t always see something that I want to buy, so this $100 can last me for awhile.

I like to take advantage of sets which offer a little bit of everything, because they’re more economical. 

For example, I’m more likely to buy the set that has closets, tickets and Stamina items, than the one that only has more Charm.

However you choose to spend your money, I hope that you have fun playing!

[knightavery]

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[hubskitchen]

Hub’s Kitchen Episode 4: Why the DC Extended Universe Failed (DCEU Retrospective)

DISCLAIMER: This is a continuation of the previous installment of Hub’s Kitchen. Please read that episode before reading this one. Or not, it’s your choice. Also, spoilers for: Man of Steel, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Wonder Woman, and Justice League.

What’s up guys, my name’s Hub, and welcome to another installment of Hub’s Kitchen. Episode, installment, same difference, this isn’t an academic essay now. In the last episode, I talked about some cinematic universes and what problems they faced or are going to face. At the end, I said I was saving one particular cinematic universe for this episode, and that it needed its own episode dedicated to it. Well, I’m gonna talk about that universe today. Prepare yourselves, as I dive into the horror that is known as: The DC Extended Universe.

If there’s one cinematic universe that can rival the Marvel Cinematic Universe in terms of popularity and success besides Star Wars, it’d be DC’s cinematic universe. The Marvel/DC rivalry has been going on since the 1960’s, when a good chunk of Marvel’s heroes were introduced during the Silver Age of comic books. Throughout the past 5+ decades, both have had their major successes and major blunders. DC has always had the advantage in the animation side of things compared to Marvel, but that doesn’t mean Marvel hasn’t had good shows. The Spectacular Spider-Man and Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes series are some of my favorite animated shows of all time. I prefer Marvel because of the heroes and how more human they are compared to DC’s catalog, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like DC. My first exposure to superheroes was the Justice League animated series from the widely beloved DC Animated Universe, and I’ve been a superhero fan since. In a perfect world, the Marvel/DC rivalry on film would be a monumental and huge war, both sides unleashing their various heroes onto the screen for audiences to love, and giving more fans more room for debate in the long-fabled who’s better debate: Marvel or DC? Instead, it’s more like Marvel is curb stomping DC into the fucking dirt. I feel a brief history lesson is necessary to really bring this whole thing into context.

HOW THIS ALL FELL INTO PLACE

Several years ago, from the 70’s to the 90’s, DC had the upper hand on film, especially with classics like Superman: The Movie, and Tim Burton’s Batman ‘89. Meanwhile, Marvel struggled to get anything onto the screen, with failures like the 1989 Punisher, the 1990 Captain America, and the cancelled, but only viewable through bootleg 1994 Fantastic Four movie. Then, Marvel went bankrupt in 1996, and to keep them afloat, they sold all the movie rights to all their characters to various movie studios. Sony got Spider-Man, FOX got the X-Men and Fantastic Four, etc. During this period, Superman already fell from grace with the 1987 bomb Superman 4: The Quest for Peace, and Batman would soon follow with 1997’s Batman and Robin, one of the most infamous comic book movies of all time. The genre would see a new beginning with 1998’s Blade. In 2000, FOX launched their first X-Men movie, and in 2002, Spider-Man came out, which is the movie that I believe is what started the comic book movie boom that’s still going on, and would be the template that the Marvel Cinematic Universe would follow. DC, meanwhile, rebooted Batman with 2005’s Batman Begins, which would later follow up with 2008’s The Dark Knight, which is often considered to be the greatest comic book movie of all time. Unfortunately, not everything was working out for both Marvel and DC. Superman Returns, the first Superman movie since Quest For Peace, while a modest hit, wasn’t the hit Warner Bros were expecting it to be, and today, Superman Returns isn’t looked at very fondly. While FOX successfully launched the X-Men onto the world of film, the Fantastic Four wouldn’t get the same level of success with both the 2005 film and it’s 2007 sequel, Rise of the Silver Surfer. Sony was also in a pickle with 2007’s Spider-Man 3, which disappointed audiences. Pile that on with Hulk, Daredevil, and Ghost Rider, and Marvel was having some pretty notable failures in their catalog. However, while Universal, FOX, and Sony failed with the aforementioned films, something huge was coming from Marvel Studios when Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk released in 2008. The first Iron Man had the famous end credits sequence with Nick Fury telling Tony Stark that he was a “part of a bigger universe,” and in The Incredible Hulk, we see Tony Stark in a scene of the movie, leading fans to believe that something was coming. 2010 and 2011 marked the releases of Iron Man 2, Thor, and Captain America: The First Avenger, and in 2012, the culmination of all 5 movies released: The Avengers. The Avengers was a massive success, being that it was the first movie to make over $200 million in its opening weekend in the United States. The movies from Iron Man to The Avengers would later be known as Phase 1 of the MCU. Knowing where Marvel Studios is today, it’s amazing how huge they’ve become, making Marvel into a global phenomenon, at least in the realm of movies. This left Warner Bros pressured to make a cinematic universe of their own DC superheroes and get a Justice League movie out as soon as possible. However, this wasn’t actually the first time WB tried to set up a DC cinematic universe.

GREEN LANTERN

In 2011, Green Lantern was released in theaters. On the surface level, Green Lantern was following the footsteps of the first Iron Man: Taking a B-list character and making a movie that would set up the foundation of what would later be a cinematic universe. However, that didn’t work out for Warner Bros. Green Lantern was released to mediocre to terrible reviews, and was a flop at the box office, grossing $219 million on a $200 million dollar budget. Thus, all plans for sequels to Green Lantern were cancelled. The movie is often considered to be one of the worst comic book movies of all time, and was subject of a joke in Deadpool, with “Please don’t make the super suit green, or animated!” Good thing Ryan Reynolds got his big break with that movie. In 2013, WB released Man of Steel in theaters. Man of Steel was directed by Zack Snyder, who directed 300 and the live action adaptation of Watchmen in 2009. The head writer was David Goyer, who wrote for the Dark Knight trilogy, and one of the producers was Christopher Nolan, the director of the Dark Knight trilogy. *In Bubsy voice* How could any of this possibly go wrong?

MAN OF STEEL

It could go wrong, but not horribly wrong. Instead of releasing to rave reviews, and making over a billion dollars at the box office, Man of Steel released to mixed reviews, and in WB’s eyes, underperformed at $668 million dollars. To this day, Man of Steel is one of the most divisive comic book movies of all time, with some seeing it as a great reinvention of Superman, and others seeing it as a betrayal at who Superman is. Not exactly the foundation you want to build your cinematic universe on, huh? As for me, I side with the more negative reactions to Man of Steel, but not as much as I did back in 2013. With the benefit of hindsight, I see Man of Steel as a movie that could have been great, but it wasn't. The issue with Man of Steel, and the thing that kills the movie for me, is that they changed Superman to accommodate the world the DC Extended Universe built up, rather than have Superman be the character he’s always been. I’d be fine with a less experienced, more doubtful Superman, if after this movie, he slowly, but gradually becomes the Superman people expect. We’ll talk about that in a bit, but it didn’t help that the movie spent so much time telling us that Superman will be great, instead of just showing us. Given what we see, Supes destroying shit in Smallville and Metropolis, I don’t think he’s going to be great at all. It also didn’t help that the movie was slow as shit. I can take slow-paced stuff, but you need to really have me engrossed in order to deal with it, ‘cause a slow-pace can kill something for me. I could go on further, but we need to move this along. Overall, I think Man of Steel is mediocre, but not terrible. So, given how this movie underperformed, what do you think Warner Bros’ would do for the future? Hit the Batman Emergency button, of course! Because Batman did wonders for Warner Bros with the Dark Knight trilogy, they decided to put Batman in the follow-up to Man of Steel. But they couldn’t stop at just putting a Batman and Superman conflict into this movie. They also needed to add Wonder Woman, ‘cause the DC Trinity needs to be on screen now that The Avengers got their movie. That still wasn’t enough, however. Let’s take elements of The Dark Knight Returns and Death of Superman storylines and adapt them. Okay, this could still work. Hold on! We need to let the audience know that Justice League is coming, so let’s put in Flash, Aquaman, and Cyborg into a scene that literally advertises their films and the Justice League movie. Now we need to double down on the dark and gritty tone people were divided with on Man of Steel, and let’s try to be even more profound and deep, unlike that stupid kiddy Marvel crap that’s successful for some reason. This is for the intellectually elite, motherfuckers! This movie will be a masterpiece! It’ll mop the floor with that stupid Marvel movie, Captain America: Civil War! People will love our movie, right?!

BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE

Haha, ha, WB executives are fucking hilarious. Batman v Superman, which I’m just going to refer to as BvS from now on for simplicity’s sake, released to negative reviews and was even more divisive than Man of Steel with audiences and fans. WB wanted this movie to make $1.1 billion, which is what Captain America: Civil War would end up making. Instead, despite a strong opening weekend, BvS had the second largest opening weekend drop off, with 2003’s Hulk still retaining that record. BvS would only end up making $872 million at the box office, which WB labeled as another underperformer. In my humble opinion, BvS is the worst comic book movie I’ve ever seen, and is a good contender for the worst of its genre. “But Hub,” I hear some of you say, “Wasn’t Age of Ultron accused of the same issues BvS had? Why did that film still end up being successful?” A few reasons. Age of Ultron, despite it not receiving rave reviews like the first Avengers movie did, still received fairly positive reviews and word of mouth, and still made $1.4 billion at the box office, which is less than the $1.5 billion the first Avengers made. That’s diminishing returns, but not by a lot. Second, while I’ll agree that AoU isn’t one of Marvel Studios’ best films, as it suffered from studio interference, I can at least say that the movie wasn’t broken at the seams. It got derailed a few times (Hi, Thor pond scene and Hulk X Black Widow relationship), but it the characters still felt like themselves, there were some legitimately great moments (Vision and Ultron in the woods is a good example), and wasn’t trying to be profound and deep. It tried to tell a more grand story than the first Avengers, but it was never pretentious, even if the movie bit off more than it could chew. AoU had to do a lot, too much in fact, and the movie came out as a mess, but not a terrible mess, or even irredeemable one. It’s honestly a miracle that AoU ended up as good as it was, given the circumstances. Heavily flawed, but I can admire what it set out to do. Had to get that unnecessary, but also necessary “Marvel isn’t perfect” thing so I don’t get accused of being a Marvel or Disney shill. Christ.

Back onto the actual subject, BvS is a fucking trainwreck on every possible level if you ask me. Okay, maybe not so much the music, but even then, Wonder Woman’s theme is the only song that I can remember. Then again, I don’t pay attention to music when I watch movies, as I listen to those on my own time. The story was so badly told, and the stand out moments were so horrible, I’m shocked that this movie was approved with the script that it was given. This is one of the few times I think of my theater experience when watching a movie. Man of Steel’s theater experience made me sick with the shitty shaky-cam, but this movie made me angry while watching it, and I never get angry when watching movies, so you have to be really bad in order to make me angry when watching. Two moments in particular, the infamous Martha scene and Superman’s death made me want to walk out on the movie. I’ve never wanted to walk out of a movie before, so that was a first for me. I think the biggest sin BvS makes that isn’t destroying famous comic book stories and having some of the worst versions of Batman AND Superman, is that not only is BvS slow to the point of boring, with very little of actual importance happening, but the movie tries to be so profound in its messages and imagery, like this is some fucking college arthouse film. A lot of people say the worst thing a movie can be is be boring. I respectfully disagree. For me, the worst thing a movie can be is be boring and trying to act like it’s so smart with its themes. The whole god amongst humans thing has been done to death, quite literally in the case of this movie, and the way it’s presented and written, comes off as overly pretentious. I can’t wait for someone to tell me that this movie is for the intellectually elite, while also saying that I need a high IQ in order to understand this movie. It’s why I prefer a movie to be rushed and have little actual meaning, than a movie that’s slow paced and try to be profound. This applies to bad movies only, of course.

There’s two cuts that exist for BvS: The one that was released in theaters, and the 3 hour, rated R extended cut, dubbed the “Ultimate Cut.” Yes, because the first movie about Batman and FUCKING Superman TOTALLY needed a rated R cut. I’ve watched the Ultimate cut, or more like I was forced to watch it because my brother made me sit with him and watch it. There’s a reason why I never trust the man with movies. But, how is the Ultimate cut? Well… it’s better… *sigh* Okay, it’s more complete this time around. It doesn’t feel like a huge chunk was cut out for no reason, and there’s more context surrounding the events of the movie, but does that actually fix the movie? Judging by my statement, no, no it doesn’t. Many of the problems that were in the theatrical cut are still present in this version: Batman and Superman hate each other for their own reasons but do the things they say they hate about the other, making them hypocrites, Lex Luthor’s plan makes no sense and is overly convoluted, Lois Lane is still useless, the action is still poor overall, Wonder Woman is still an afterthought, the title fight that the movie has its entire purpose riding on is still lackluster at best, the Martha scene is still stupid, and the movie essentially destroyed all hopes of a great Superman story by wasting the Death of Superman storyline. What else can I say? I fucking hate this movie, the end. Holy shit, that was a long section. How’s about something shorter?

SUICIDE SQUAD

This is gonna be a very short segment compared to the BvS one, but that’s because in a shocking twist, I haven’t actually sat down and watched Suicide Squad. I’ll still talk about how the movie ended up the way it did and how it was received, but I can’t actually comment on the movie itself. I’m also putting Suicide Squad’s history here because the BvS segment is long enough. Anyway, after BvS underperformed, Warner Bros panicked and decided to make a course correction with Suicide Squad. People liked the trailers, which made the movie appear to be DC’s answer to Guardians of the Galaxy. In fact, the people who made the trailers ended up editing the movie. Yes, really. The concept of the movie sounded awesome. A ragtag group of villains forced to do good things or they die is a really interesting concept and if executed well, could be seen as a new form of comic book movie. The anti-Avengers, you could say. However, that wasn’t meant to be. Suicide Squad was received about as well as BvS was, with some saying it was even worse than BvS. Seeing as how I haven’t seen the movie, I can’t comment on it, but given what I’ve heard, it sounds like a shitty version of Guardians of the Galaxy, both of them, and the sequel wasn’t out when Suicide Squad came out. At the very least, the movie was said to have been more profitable than BvS, even though it made $746 million at the box office on a $175 million budget. So, 3 misfires so far, and the best received one divided audiences and critics. The DCEU was in serious trouble, and there needed to be a miracle in order to save this franchise. Well, unbeknownst to Warner Bros, their savior, to a degree anyway, would come from an underestimated superhero, or should I say, superheroine!

WONDER WOMAN

Remember when I said that Wonder Woman was an afterthought in BvS? Well, she was, but she had a movie coming out. I find it funny that we live in a world where the Guardians of the Galaxy, Ant-Man, Deadpool, the Suicide Squad, and Doctor Strange got their own movies before Wonder Woman, the third member of the DC Trinity. The world is weird. Diana’s movie came out, and it blew away expectations. Not that they were high to begin with, but let’s not be so cynical here. Wonder Woman released to great reviews and audiences loved it. The movie made over $412 million dollars at the U.S. box office, more than any of the Marvel Studios films at the same box office, and outperformed Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man for the highest grossing superhero origin movie, and Spidey held the record for 15 years. The movie would end up making $821 million dollars at the global box office, making it the second highest grossing movie in the DCEU, with BvS being the highest grossing, but unlike BvS, Wonder Woman didn’t underperform and was a huge hit. So, what did I think of Wonder Woman? Well, gotta give credit where credit is due, but the DCEU has an installment where I can confidently call good. Diana herself was better characterized than she was in BvS. My favorite scene in the movie is when she and Steve Trevor are about to go to No Man’s Land, but before they embark on the train ride there, Diana gets ice cream from an ice cream vendor, and tells the ice cream man that he’s wonderful. This is something that this franchise has been sorely lacking: Little touches. The movie also used the dark and gritty motif of the DCEU correctly. This is because the movie was set during World War 1, which was a shitty time, and we had Themyscira, a bright and colorful place to contrast with the shitty London and battlefields. The first two acts, minus the underwhelming action that relied too much on slow motion for my tastes, were well handled and even great. Despite what I said about the action, that No Man’s Land sequence was awesome. However, and this hurts me to say this, the third act happens. Ooooh, the third act. If there was one movie that was so close to greatness, only to have the ending nearly ruin it, it’s this movie. I know I’m going to be labeled sexist for not saying Wonder Woman is a great movie, but please, bare with me. So, throughout the movie, Diana wants to kill Ares, the god of war. The legend of Ares states that he’s the reason why mankind goes to war with each other. However, Diana kills General Stryker (I’m calling him that because it’s the same actor from X-Men 2), and she believed him to be Ares. I mean, to be fair, he was huffing up some magic powder or something, so I can believe that. After killing General Stryker, Diana sees that the humans are still preparing their assault. Diana is horrified to see this, and she asks Steve Trevor why the humans are still at war now that she killed Ares. Shortly after this, the real Ares comes and then the movie goes into the usual third act climax. Now, I don’t have a problem with third act climaxes. So, why do I have an issue with it here? Ares was mentioned being alive early in the movie, so what’s the big deal? I think it has to do with how the movie was written. The way the movie played out, it seemed like Diana realizing that humans are, in her words, “so much more,” than what they seem. This could have explained why she gave up the Wonder Woman mantle and stayed in the human world for a century. Not having a third act climax in order to develop a character, with the message that humans are much more, even at their worst, would have been amazing. Instead, the movie throws all of that away for a final fight with Ares and Steve Trevor sacrificing himself. It felt tacked on and cheapened the movie. It came off as rewarding Diana for being naive, which is something I hated about the movie. Her entire character arc was rendered meaningless because of that last act. There’s also some questions after the fight that are never answered. Now that Ares is dead, does that mean World War 2 and the Cold War never happened in this universe? If killing Ares ended all conflict in humanity, why is the world so grim when Man of Steel begins? This act single handedly derailed the movie. What could have been a potential masterpiece only ends up being decent in my opinion. I won’t go as far as to say the third act ruined the movie, but it does end up hurting the movie by quite a bit if you ask me. I should reiterate that Wonder Woman is overall, a solid movie, but the third act really holds it back. Now, let’s get to the fifth and final movie in this, I guess you could call it, DCEU Retrospective, the big JL.

JUSTICE LEAGUE

Fun fact: Did you know that there was going to be a Justice League movie long before The Avengers? The movie was called Justice League: Mortal, and was going to release sometime around 2007/2008, if not later than that. However, I guess WB decided “Naaah, we got our golden boyo Christopher Nolan here doing Batman movies for us. The audience will be confused if two live action Batmen were on screen.” Not giving the audience enough credit, I see? I mean, I’m not sure what happened, but I’m pretty sure you can look up a video Justice League: Mortal.

Justice League faced tons of behind the scenes problems. There were talks of Ben Affleck (aka, DCEU Bats) directing which never went through, the movie being completely reworked just mere weeks before shooting began because of BvS’s terrible reception, Joss Whedon (the guy who wrote and directed the first two Avengers movies) taking over as director and reworking the movie after Zack Snyder tragically lost his daughter from suicide, etc, etc, etc. Now, I’m not saying a movie that has behind the scenes problems is doomed to failure. After all, A New Hope had several behind the scenes problems, with George Lucas even writing the film off before it premiered, and look at how well that movie ended up turning out. Although I was livid after BvS and missed Suicide Squad, Wonder Woman gave me some hope that Justice League wouldn’t be that bad. Well… I was sort of right on that.

Let me get one thing straight: Justice League is a terrible movie. The story reeks of “Been there, done that, seen it before, seen it better, and will see it better in the future.” The characters were flat at best, and irritating at worst (looking at you, second-rate MCU Spider-Man aka Flash), and the villain is one of the worst I’ve ever seen (seriously, Steppenwolf is a fucking mid-boss, so why is he the big bad of 4 years?). To top it off, the film is a tonal and visual mess, and what I mean by the latter is that Joss Whedon’s Avengers-esc style clashes heavily with Zack Snyder’s supposed deep and dark vision. Justice League comes off as, to quote one of my favorite YouTube channels, Midnight’s Edge “A Frankensteinian abomination.” That being said, at least the film didn’t try to shove philosophical messages down my throat or try so fucking hard to be deep and meaningful, so JL’s already better than Man of Steel and BvS in that regard. I also liked that we finally got a Superman that actually felt like Superman should instead of what MoS and BvS tried to make him be. I left Justice League feeling… indifferent, I guess? I didn’t like it, but I didn’t hate it either. All I know is that I should have been feeling a lot more positive about this movie than I actually did. The Justice League animated series from the DC Animated Universe was my introduction to superheroes, and I still think holds up wonderfully today. I may have not been a fan of how Season 1 handled Superman in regards to the villains of that show, but I still think it’s a fantastic show. It’s a fucking shame that Warner Bros essentially failed to make a movie worthy of the name: Justice League. To make Justice League look even of a failure, we’re gonna have to talk about box office again.

Wanna know how much Justice League costed to make, including reshoots? $300 million. Justice League is the second most expensive movie ever made, with Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides being the most expensive. Want to know how much money it made, or has made so far? $655 million. Yes, only that much. On its opening weekend in America, it made $93 million. It couldn’t even make $100 million! It took the movie a fucking month to make the same amount The Avengers made in its opening weekend. If that’s not a “Get fucked, DC,” I don’t know what is. So, now that I spent this entire time going over each DCEU movie in detail (sorry that this has been so long to begin with), it’s now time to answer the question: Why did the DC Extended Universe fail?

WHY THE DCEU FAILED

If you ask me, the main reason the DC Extended Universe failed was because Warner Bros didn’t have a set plan or a person with a vision to keep the universe in tact. The reason Marvel Studios and the Marvel Cinematic Universe has been consistently successful is because of one man, and that man is Kevin Feige. Originally being a producer for the early X-Men and Spider-Man movies, along with other Marvel films, he was the brainchild behind the MCU, and has been an executive producer for each movie in the MCU so far. When a movie doesn’t measure up to the rest, which was the case with Thor: The Dark World, the MCU didn’t go into a panic and have the next few movies affected by Thor 2’s failings. Instead, the franchise carried on, and all the problems of The Dark World were addressed and mostly solved with Thor: Ragnorok. DC, meanwhile, doesn’t have a Kevin Feige. Warner Bros made the choice to make the DCEU director-driven, rather than producer-driven. The problem with making a mega-franchise with multiple franchises inside is that you need to have them be producer-driven to have a consistent vision. I know that a common complaint with the MCU is that it tends to revolve around a single formula, often referred to as the “Marvel Formula,” but a consistent vision needs to be in check to keep things in line. Having director-driven movies is good, but can lead to a clash of visions. Maybe I should do a Hub’s Kitchen episode on that. Hmm… Because of BvS’s failings, Suicide Squad and Justice League had to be radically altered during shooting and post-production, rather than before shooting and during pre-production, which was the case of Thor: Ragnorok going in a different direction than the previous Thor films.

I also feel that not sticking to what made the characters so beloved is another reason the DCEU failed. I’ve always been one to say that accuracy doesn’t make a movie good, but even so, I still believe that the main point of the character should be completely in tact. Marvel Studios has done a great job at this, even when they had to slightly rework characters like Spider-Man for example. Despite him having a tech suit made by Tony Stark, Peter still made his original suit, his web shooters, webbing, is still a smart kid, and relatable. Meanwhile, the DCEU decided “Hey, you know Superman? Yeah, let’s make him a complete brooding asshole and have him kill people for no reason other than its cool.” Or “Hey, you know Batman? Yeah, he’s a killer now and then suddenly he’s a third-rate Tony Stark wannabe.” Even better “Hey, you know Flash? Barry Allen Flash? We’re gonna make him Wally West and make him incredibly annoying, because COMEDY!” Thankfully, Wonder Woman got off pretty well. I know nerds like me are the only people who read comic books, but as far as an adaptation is concerned, we want the core basics of the characters to be intact. The DCEU didn’t do that, and a lot of fans jumped ship. Audiences were also alienated, mainly because for Man of Steel and BvS, the heroes weren’t acting like heroes, or people for that matter. I think that covers that whole dilemma, and now, it’s time to wrap everything up.

CONCLUSION

I’m sorry that this episode was as long as it was. I just feel that I needed to go in-depth as to why I felt the way I did and why the DCEU failed. I love superheroes. I’d go as far as to say superhero stories are my favorite kind of stories. I grew up with superheroes, okay, mostly Spider-Man, but still. So I hope you all can understand why I hated the DCEU as much as I did, and why it ultimately failed. I feel like whenever people generalize others who love the MCU and hate the DCEU as them saying “Marvel can do no wrong,” are missing the point. It’s not that we believe Marvel can do no wrong. It’s that we want good representations of the heroes we read and love, so maybe the average Joe can understand why we love these funny books so much. Whatever issues the MCU has can (mostly) be forgiven because the good stuff outweighs the bad. The DCEU, however, has only one good movie to its name and a few droppings of brilliance in an otherwise mediocre DC universe.

Wow, I got really emotional there. I’m sorry for that. It just annoys me when people generalize stuff. I don’t know what the next topic of Hub’s Kitchen will be on, but I can tell you all this: It’s gonna be a hell of a lot shorter than this, that’s for sure. My name’s Hub, and thank you for reading. *Checks Google Drive word count* Over 5,000 words. What the fu-

[kristinsimmons]

A Full-Scale Assault on Medical Debt, Part 1

By BOB HERTZ

The recent proposal by Sen. Bernie Sanders to cancel $81 billion of medical debt is a very good start—but it is only a start.

The RIP Medical Debt group—which buys old medical debts, and then forgives them—is absolutely in the right spirit. Its founders Craig Antico and Jerry Ashton deserve great credit for keeping the issue of forgiveness alive.

Unfortunately, over $88 billion in new medical debt is created each year; most of it still held by providers, or sold to collectors, or embedded in credit card balances.

Tragically, none of this has to happen! In France, a visit to the doctor typically costs the equivalent of $1.12. A night in a German hospital costs a patient roughly $11. German co-pays for the year in total cannot exceed 2% of income. Even in Switzerland, the average deductible is $300.

U.S. patients face cost-sharing that would never be tolerated in Germany, says Dr. Markus Frick, a senior official. “If any German politician proposed high deductibles, he or she would be run out of town.”

In Australia, a recent proposal to establish the equivalent of a $5 co-pay for primary care visits fueled such an outcry that the federal government was forced to withdraw the idea.

Americans may be forced to take second jobs just to pay medical debt; meanwhile, the highly-taxed Europeans get free medical care and are counting their weeks of paid vacation. What is wrong with this picture?

These nations have shown that cost sharing is not necessary to keep health care spending at a level well below that of the United States. They rely on higher taxes and price controls…and yet, are those really worse than widespread patient debt?

U.S. Medical debt comes primarily from these sources:

the uninsured

high deductibles

out-of-network bills

claim denials

specialty drugs

emergency room care

‘zombie debts’ purchased by collectors

In this essay, I will show that a substantial number of these debts can be cancelled or greatly reduced.

Today, these groups run up the most medical debts:

Group No. 1. The poor and the uninsured, including those who still do not get Medicaid in red states.

 A Tennessee couple earning $13,000 annually gets no help whatsoever on medical bills. They can barely afford food or rent; so of course they incur medical debt every time they are sick.

Over 20% of these families do not have a checking or savings account. Over 30% are not working at all.If they do work, they cannot afford to join the employer’s plan.

Six full years after the ACA, there are still close to 30 million adults in the US who are uninsured. About seven million are undocumented immigrants. Another seven million are actually eligible for Medicaid, if they do get sick.

About four million could benefit from the ACA, but many are unaware of the exchanges. Up to five million are very poor, but are kept out of both Medicaid and the ACA in the red states described above. Another two to three million make too much for ACA subsidies.

This is a hard group to help. No states besides California want the undocumented to get insurance. No cities outside liberal enclaves like Seattle and New York care about health insurance for restaurant and service workers.

The poor rarely vote, so ignoring them does not trouble conservatives. Politics are often dominated by seniors—who will approve a conservative message about  ‘getting rid of socialized medicine’—while they themselves enjoy the federal socialism of Medicare.

(Not to mention Social Security, electricity, phone infrastructure, and the defense spending that comes to red state residents from the federal government,)

Group No. 2.  The under-insured, who have high deductible insurance but no savings.

Why are they walking around with deductibles they cannot afford?

At some employers, this is the only health insurance which is offered.

Even where there is a choice of plans, people with smaller incomes often select the cheaper high-deductible coverage.

If you are healthy, a high deductible plan to save money on insurance premiums may be a decent gamble at first.. But if you have a chronic illness, you will pay the entire deductible each year, and  will probably build up debt. Only a minority of employers offer  assistance to pay the deductibles.

Sometimes this group pays $500 a month or more for a porous health plan, which then leaves them with thousands in debt if they are hospitalized. 

Many families are living right on the edge financially, and they have trouble with all their debts, not just medical. Default rates are growing on their car loans and credit cards as well. They often face utility shutoffs and repossessions.

A recent study of insurance claims showed that 49% of patient out-of-pocket costs per healthcare incident were below $500; 39% were $501-$1,000; and 12% were more than $1,000. That generates an enormous amount of medical debt.

Group No. 3. The well-insured, who may still get huge out-of-network bills.

Some of their debts are out-and-out fraud. If a hospital says they are in-network, then all their contractors should be in-network – or else we have an illegal bait-and-switch. These surprise bills should be cancelled (details to follow).

In 2011, (9 years ago) New York studied more than 2,000 complaints involving surprise medical bills, and found the average out-of-network emergency bill was $7,006. Insurers paid an average of $3,228 leaving consumers, on average, “to pay $3,778 for an emergency in which they had no choice.”

Out-of-network assistant surgeons, who often were called in without the patient’s knowledge, on average billed $13,914, while insurers paid $1,794 on average.  Surprise bills by out-of-network radiologists averaged $5,406, of which insurers paid $2,497 on average.

Medical debt can be cruel and dispiriting—and it is also incredibly inefficient! The cost of creating a bill, sending a bill, following up, negotiating a settlement, paperwork for charity care, financial counseling, a possible lawsuit, and (rarely) getting repayments over years… The sheer administrative expense is staggering.

The average recovery on hospital bills sent to individuals is 15.3%. Non-hospital providers recover an average of 21.8% of each bill. No wonder some providers prefer Medicaid—it only pays about 50% or less of their normal charges, but that is far more than they will get in actual collections.

There are two overarching models for financing health care:

One is the Bernie Sanders model:

Paternalistic – you get insurance whether you choose it or not

Sympathy for the poor, minorities, and migrants (you never know when you might be among them)

Collectively bargained – usually with large payroll taxes

No pre-existing conditions clauses

Hospitals are financed mainly by taxes, not user fees

Patients are not in debt (though governments often are)

Cost control through price controls and rationing

The Sanders model accepts the use of coercion to pay for health care. (For that matter, the Singapore health model that is praised by conservatives is filled with coercion, including public hospitals, forced savings for HSA’s and taxes for catastrophic insurance.) At some point we are all going to get sick, so letting us decide when to buy insurance is somewhat of a fool’s paradise. Millions will always make bad choices and be left to suffer; we need to be protected against our own stupidity. Coercion is —the only real issue is when and where. Even wealthy societies can benefit from forced savings. For example, a mandatory HSA deposit of 3% of income would eliminate most of the medical debts discussed in this essay.          

The other is the Paul Ryan-Newt Gingrich model:

Based on Individual choice

No mandates on employers to provide quality coverage

No mandates on individuals to buy quality coverage; if they want to gamble going uninsured in order to save money, that is their call.

Hospitals financed by user fees, insurance premiums and private savings

No interference with anyone making money on health care – even those who prey on medical debtors

Medical bankruptcy is OK, because the fear of it motivates the purchase of health insurance.

Cost control (theoretically) through competition – faith in free markets

Taxes on workers are lower – although the savings seem to be siphoned off in premiums, co-pays, and deductibles.

The Ryan model is frankly Darwinian when you get close to it. The uninsured, frankly, are usually people who make mistakes – like poor budgeting, failing in school, losing their jobs, or being born to non-rich parents. Persons with no money get much less care, and will die sooner. Those who do not buy insurance when they are healthy will suffer later on. Eventually it all starts to sounds like “culling the herd.”

The Ryan model therefore expects a lot from private charity. (Begging is preferable to new taxes.) Democratic legislators have also established Medicare, Medicaid, and SCHIP to smooth out the inevitable rough edges.

Medical debt is an obvious consequence of the libertarian model. It can only be reformed by importing controls and rules from the Sanders model.

The ideal image of high-deductible insurance features a judicious patient with at least $10,000 in HSA savings, getting bids on each procedure and therefore driving down costs. They might even have non-urgent care done abroad, which would force American hospitals to compete on price. They might decline an unnecessary treatment or diagnostic test, to save money.

Even if hospitalized, they can say to the provider, “I am paying cash, what is your best offer?” The Amish – who do not buy insurance, but save prodigiously – actually use this method.

This has some basis in fact. Cash for medical care is more efficient and will over time lead to lower prices.

However, millions of Americans have no cash, and no bargaining skills. Some diseases may not wait for patient ‘shopping.’ A desperate patient goes to the nearest hospital and then juggles utility bills and high-interest charge cards to pay down medical bills, and then begs for help from relatives or (even sadder) from GoFundMe.

The average holder of an HSA account is under age 45, healthy, and with an average income of $75,000. Whereas in low-wage America, a ‘consumer-driven’ health plan is a ‘consumer-indebted’ reality. 

Financial casualties among patients do not seem to lead to lower health care prices. Providers are just as likely to raise their prices, in order to cover the bad debt they are taking on. (Drug companies certainly do not lower their prices when their customers suffer.)

Doctors may want to forgive some patient debts, but there is a limit how often they can do this and still cover the expenses of their practice. In some cases, it is actually (and idiotically) illegal for physicians to waive the deductibles.           

Bob Hertz is a retired insurance broker. He learned about health care from Uwe Reinhardt, Joseph White, Dr. Robert Evans, and George Halvorson a fellow Minnesotan.

The post A Full-Scale Assault on Medical Debt, Part 1 appeared first on The Health Care Blog.

A Full-Scale Assault on Medical Debt, Part 1 published first on https://wittooth.tumblr.com/

[lauramalchowblog]

A Full-Scale Assault on Medical Debt, Part 1

By BOB HERTZ

The recent proposal by Sen. Bernie Sanders to cancel $81 billion of medical debt is a very good start—but it is only a start.

The RIP Medical Debt group—which buys old medical debts, and then forgives them—is absolutely in the right spirit. Its founders Craig Antico and Jerry Ashton deserve great credit for keeping the issue of forgiveness alive.

Unfortunately, over $88 billion in new medical debt is created each year; most of it still held by providers, or sold to collectors, or embedded in credit card balances.

Tragically, none of this has to happen! In France, a visit to the doctor typically costs the equivalent of $1.12. A night in a German hospital costs a patient roughly $11. German co-pays for the year in total cannot exceed 2% of income. Even in Switzerland, the average deductible is $300.

U.S. patients face cost-sharing that would never be tolerated in Germany, says Dr. Markus Frick, a senior official. “If any German politician proposed high deductibles, he or she would be run out of town.”

In Australia, a recent proposal to establish the equivalent of a $5 co-pay for primary care visits fueled such an outcry that the federal government was forced to withdraw the idea.

Americans may be forced to take second jobs just to pay medical debt; meanwhile, the highly-taxed Europeans get free medical care and are counting their weeks of paid vacation. What is wrong with this picture?

These nations have shown that cost sharing is not necessary to keep health care spending at a level well below that of the United States. They rely on higher taxes and price controls…and yet, are those really worse than widespread patient debt?

U.S. Medical debt comes primarily from these sources:

the uninsured

high deductibles

out-of-network bills

claim denials

specialty drugs

emergency room care

‘zombie debts’ purchased by collectors

In this essay, I will show that a substantial number of these debts can be cancelled or greatly reduced.

Today, these groups run up the most medical debts:

Group No. 1. The poor and the uninsured, including those who still do not get Medicaid in red states.

 A Tennessee couple earning $13,000 annually gets no help whatsoever on medical bills. They can barely afford food or rent; so of course they incur medical debt every time they are sick.

Over 20% of these families do not have a checking or savings account. Over 30% are not working at all.If they do work, they cannot afford to join the employer’s plan.

Six full years after the ACA, there are still close to 30 million adults in the US who are uninsured. About seven million are undocumented immigrants. Another seven million are actually eligible for Medicaid, if they do get sick.

About four million could benefit from the ACA, but many are unaware of the exchanges. Up to five million are very poor, but are kept out of both Medicaid and the ACA in the red states described above. Another two to three million make too much for ACA subsidies.

This is a hard group to help. No states besides California want the undocumented to get insurance. No cities outside liberal enclaves like Seattle and New York care about health insurance for restaurant and service workers.

The poor rarely vote, so ignoring them does not trouble conservatives. Politics are often dominated by seniors—who will approve a conservative message about  ‘getting rid of socialized medicine’—while they themselves enjoy the federal socialism of Medicare.

(Not to mention Social Security, electricity, phone infrastructure, and the defense spending that comes to red state residents from the federal government,)

Group No. 2.  The under-insured, who have high deductible insurance but no savings.

Why are they walking around with deductibles they cannot afford?

At some employers, this is the only health insurance which is offered.

Even where there is a choice of plans, people with smaller incomes often select the cheaper high-deductible coverage.

If you are healthy, a high deductible plan to save money on insurance premiums may be a decent gamble at first.. But if you have a chronic illness, you will pay the entire deductible each year, and  will probably build up debt. Only a minority of employers offer  assistance to pay the deductibles.

Sometimes this group pays $500 a month or more for a porous health plan, which then leaves them with thousands in debt if they are hospitalized. 

Many families are living right on the edge financially, and they have trouble with all their debts, not just medical. Default rates are growing on their car loans and credit cards as well. They often face utility shutoffs and repossessions.

A recent study of insurance claims showed that 49% of patient out-of-pocket costs per healthcare incident were below $500; 39% were $501-$1,000; and 12% were more than $1,000. That generates an enormous amount of medical debt.

Group No. 3. The well-insured, who may still get huge out-of-network bills.

Some of their debts are out-and-out fraud. If a hospital says they are in-network, then all their contractors should be in-network – or else we have an illegal bait-and-switch. These surprise bills should be cancelled (details to follow).

In 2011, (9 years ago) New York studied more than 2,000 complaints involving surprise medical bills, and found the average out-of-network emergency bill was $7,006. Insurers paid an average of $3,228 leaving consumers, on average, “to pay $3,778 for an emergency in which they had no choice.”

Out-of-network assistant surgeons, who often were called in without the patient’s knowledge, on average billed $13,914, while insurers paid $1,794 on average.  Surprise bills by out-of-network radiologists averaged $5,406, of which insurers paid $2,497 on average.

Medical debt can be cruel and dispiriting—and it is also incredibly inefficient! The cost of creating a bill, sending a bill, following up, negotiating a settlement, paperwork for charity care, financial counseling, a possible lawsuit, and (rarely) getting repayments over years… The sheer administrative expense is staggering.

The average recovery on hospital bills sent to individuals is 15.3%. Non-hospital providers recover an average of 21.8% of each bill. No wonder some providers prefer Medicaid—it only pays about 50% or less of their normal charges, but that is far more than they will get in actual collections.

There are two overarching models for financing health care:

One is the Bernie Sanders model:

Paternalistic – you get insurance whether you choose it or not

Sympathy for the poor, minorities, and migrants (you never know when you might be among them)

Collectively bargained – usually with large payroll taxes

No pre-existing conditions clauses

Hospitals are financed mainly by taxes, not user fees

Patients are not in debt (though governments often are)

Cost control through price controls and rationing

The Sanders model accepts the use of coercion to pay for health care. (For that matter, the Singapore health model that is praised by conservatives is filled with coercion, including public hospitals, forced savings for HSA’s and taxes for catastrophic insurance.) At some point we are all going to get sick, so letting us decide when to buy insurance is somewhat of a fool’s paradise. Millions will always make bad choices and be left to suffer; we need to be protected against our own stupidity. Coercion is —the only real issue is when and where. Even wealthy societies can benefit from forced savings. For example, a mandatory HSA deposit of 3% of income would eliminate most of the medical debts discussed in this essay.          

The other is the Paul Ryan-Newt Gingrich model:

Based on Individual choice

No mandates on employers to provide quality coverage

No mandates on individuals to buy quality coverage; if they want to gamble going uninsured in order to save money, that is their call.

Hospitals financed by user fees, insurance premiums and private savings

No interference with anyone making money on health care – even those who prey on medical debtors

Medical bankruptcy is OK, because the fear of it motivates the purchase of health insurance.

Cost control (theoretically) through competition – faith in free markets

Taxes on workers are lower – although the savings seem to be siphoned off in premiums, co-pays, and deductibles.

The Ryan model is frankly Darwinian when you get close to it. The uninsured, frankly, are usually people who make mistakes – like poor budgeting, failing in school, losing their jobs, or being born to non-rich parents. Persons with no money get much less care, and will die sooner. Those who do not buy insurance when they are healthy will suffer later on. Eventually it all starts to sounds like “culling the herd.”

The Ryan model therefore expects a lot from private charity. (Begging is preferable to new taxes.) Democratic legislators have also established Medicare, Medicaid, and SCHIP to smooth out the inevitable rough edges.

Medical debt is an obvious consequence of the libertarian model. It can only be reformed by importing controls and rules from the Sanders model.

The ideal image of high-deductible insurance features a judicious patient with at least $10,000 in HSA savings, getting bids on each procedure and therefore driving down costs. They might even have non-urgent care done abroad, which would force American hospitals to compete on price. They might decline an unnecessary treatment or diagnostic test, to save money.

Even if hospitalized, they can say to the provider, “I am paying cash, what is your best offer?” The Amish – who do not buy insurance, but save prodigiously – actually use this method.

This has some basis in fact. Cash for medical care is more efficient and will over time lead to lower prices.

However, millions of Americans have no cash, and no bargaining skills. Some diseases may not wait for patient ‘shopping.’ A desperate patient goes to the nearest hospital and then juggles utility bills and high-interest charge cards to pay down medical bills, and then begs for help from relatives or (even sadder) from GoFundMe.

The average holder of an HSA account is under age 45, healthy, and with an average income of $75,000. Whereas in low-wage America, a ‘consumer-driven’ health plan is a ‘consumer-indebted’ reality. 

Financial casualties among patients do not seem to lead to lower health care prices. Providers are just as likely to raise their prices, in order to cover the bad debt they are taking on. (Drug companies certainly do not lower their prices when their customers suffer.)

Doctors may want to forgive some patient debts, but there is a limit how often they can do this and still cover the expenses of their practice. In some cases, it is actually (and idiotically) illegal for physicians to waive the deductibles.           

Bob Hertz is a retired insurance broker. He learned about health care from Uwe Reinhardt, Joseph White, Dr. Robert Evans, and George Halvorson a fellow Minnesotan.

The post A Full-Scale Assault on Medical Debt, Part 1 appeared first on The Health Care Blog.

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[kpopdancings]

STEPHEN HAWKING & THE HYPOTHESIS 'GOD DID NOT CREATE THE UNIVERSE! '

New Post has been published on http://www.whatsupkpop.com/stephen-hawking-the-hypothesis-god-did-not-create-the-universe/

STEPHEN HAWKING & THE HYPOTHESIS 'GOD DID NOT CREATE THE UNIVERSE! '

STEPHEN HAWKING & THE HYPOTHESIS ‘GOD DID NOT CREATE THE UNIVERSE! ‘

Link Video:

  “Without God. Nobody created the universe and no one decided our destiny ”- the late physical genius Stephen Hawking once wrote.

It is a quote from the book “Brief Answers to the Big Questions”, the last publication of Stephen Hawking published by John Murray.

  In life, Hawking was a vocal champion of the Big Bang theory. The idea that the universe began by exploding suddenly out of a singularity that is extremely smaller than an atom. From this speck emerged all the matter, energy and empty space that the universe would ever contain, and all that raw material evolved into the cosmos we perceive today by following a strict set of scientific laws. To Hawking and many like-minded scientists, the combined laws of gravity, relativity, quantum physics and a few other rules could explain everything that ever happened or ever will happen in our known universe.

“For centuries, it was believed that disabled people like me were living under a curse that was inflicted by God. Well, I suppose it’s possible that I’ve upset someone up there, but I prefer to think that everything can be explained another way, by the laws of nature. If you believe in science, like I do, you believe that there are certain laws that are always obeyed. If you like, you can say the laws are the work of God, but that is more a definition of God than a proof of his existence,” Hawking wrote.

  With the universe running on a scientifically guided autopilot, the only role for an all-powerful deity might be setting the initial conditions of the universe. So that those laws could take shape a divine creator who caused the Big Bang to bang, then stepped back to behold “His work”.

“Did God create the quantum laws that allowed the Big Bang to occur?” Hawking wrote. “I have no desire to offend anyone of faith, but I think science has a more compelling explanation than a divine creator.”

  In his book written in 1988, A Brief History of Time, Hawking had seemed to accept the role of God in the creation of the universe. But in the new text, co-written with American physicist Leonard Mlodinow, he said new theories showed a creator is “not necessary”.

  In the past, Hawking almost never spoke directly about his religious views. However, he always said that humans are the pinnacle of evolution and needs to be perfected with the help of scientific and technical means such as automation, gene therapy …. In his books, Hawking often uses the word “god” to clarify what he presents.

But in the new text, co-writing with the American physicist Leonard Mlodinow, he said: “Due to the obvious existence of physical laws, such as gravity, the universe can and will continue to self-destruct. create it out of nothing. The spontaneous formation of the universe is the reason why the universe and people exist. It is therefore unnecessary to include God in the creation of the universe. ” Hawking wrote in the book.

  Hawking’s explanation begins with quantum mechanics, which explains how subatomic particles behave. In quantum studies, it’s common to see subatomic particles like protons and electrons seemingly appear out of nowhere, stick around for a while and then disappear again to a completely different location. Because the universe was once the size of a subatomic particle itself, it’s plausible that it behaved similarly during the Big Bang, Hawking wrote.

  That still doesn’t explain away the possibility that God created that proton-size singularity, then flipped the quantum- mechanical switch that allowed it to pop. But Hawking says science has an explanation here, too. To illustrate, he points to the physics of black holes — collapsed stars that are so dense, nothing, including light, can escape their pull.

Black holes, like the universe before the Big Bang, condense into a singularity. In this ultra-packed point of mass, gravity is so strong that it distorts time as well as light and space. Simply put, in the depths of a black hole, time does not exist.

Because the universe also began as a singularity, time itself could not have existed before the Big Bang. Hawking’s answer, then, to what happened before the Big Bang is, “there was no time before the Big Bang.”

“We have finally found something that doesn’t have a cause, because there was no time for a cause to exist in,” Hawking wrote. “For me this means that there is no possibility of a creator, because there is no time for a creator to have existed in.”

  Hawking says the first blow to Newton’s belief that the universe could not have arisen from chaos was the observation in 1992 of a planet orbiting a star other than our Sun. “That makes the coincidences of our planetary conditions – the single sun, the lucky combination of Earth-sun distance and solar mass – far less remarkable, and far less compelling as evidence that the Earth was carefully designed just to please us human beings,” he writes.

  Hawking explained that, since the universe has an infinite number of galaxies and each galaxy has an infinite number of planets, it is very likely that the earth is not the only place where life is present. Even our universe exists with many other universes. The other universes have the same laws of physics as ours, that is, they are also created out of nothing, not by the hand of God.

If God is human-oriented, wouldn’t you expect him to create a universe in which humans feature prominently? You’d expect humans to occupy most of the universe, existing across time. Yet that isn’t the kind of universe we live in. Humans are very small, and space, as Douglas Adams once put it, “is big, really really big”.

  Scientists estimate that the observable universe, the part of it we can see, is around 93 billion light years across. The whole universe is at least 250 times as large as the observable universe.

Our own planet is 150m kilometres away from the sun. Earth’s nearest stars, the Alpha Centauri system, are four light years away (that’s around 40 trillion kilometres). Our galaxy, the Milky Way, contains anywhere from 100 to 400 billion stars. The observable universe contains around 300 sextillion stars. Humans occupy the tiniest fraction of it. The landmass of planet Earth is a drop in this ocean of space.

Like Adams Centauri , the universe is really too old. Probably more than 13 billion years old. Earth is about 4 billion years old, and humans have evolved about 200,000 years ago. Temporarily speaking, man existed in the blink of an eye.

  In 2011, in the scientific film Curiosity for the Discovery channel, Hawking asked: “Did God create the universe?”. He affirmed that, in order to create the universe God “had no time,” since before the Big Bang happened, time did not exist …

  At Google’s Zeitgeist Conference in 2011, Hawking also said that “philosophy is dead.” Philosophy, he believes, “has not kept pace with the modern development of science”, and that scientists have become the leading torch bearers of the quest to discover knowledge. Hawking believes that philosophical problems can be answered by science, especially new scientific theories that will lead us to a very different new picture of the universe and our place in it …

  At the end of his lecture at the California Institute of Industry, the genius cosmologist made a point about saving humanity: “We need to continue to explore space for the future of humanity. I don’t think we will live a thousand years if we don’t finally run out of this fragile planet.

Hawking’s lecture in Caliphornia was very popular with the public. Although the subject of it was purely scientific, the people who wanted to listen to it were still very large and they lined up for a mile and a half. 

This argument will do little to persuade theistic believers, but that was never Hawking’s intent. As a scientist with a near-religious devotion to understanding the cosmos, Hawking sought to “know the mind of God” by learning everything he could about the self-sufficient universe around us. While his view of the universe might render a divine creator and the laws of nature incompatible, it still leaves ample space for faith, hope, wonder and, especially, gratitude.

  Stephen Hawking has been considered the king of theoretical physics of the world for many decades. He is famous for his studies on black holes in the universe. Hawking also pursued his goal of finding a “unifying theory” to resolve the contradictions between Albert Einstein’s theory of relativity and quantum theory. Hawking used to hold the position of Lucasian professor of mathematics at Cambridge University, England. This is also the title that Newton held.

  The book “A Brief History” is the most famous publication written by Professor Hawking in his lifetime, and has sold more than 13 million copies worldwide. At the age of 20, Hawking was diagnosed with motor neuron disease (MND), predicted only 2 years to live.As the years passed, he did not die, but his mobility and communication became increasingly limited, and he ended up living in a wheelchair and talking on a voice synthesizer.When he died at the age of 76, the scientist became the longest-lived MND patient ever.His war against illness was told vividly in the movie “Theory of Things” (2014) starring British actor Eddie Redmayne. Hawking’s role also brought the Oscar for Redmayne in 2015.

[misunderscthood]

Make your cereal bars really filled with protein. Nut bars, peanut butter snacks. Anything super rich in protein (I mean, you can buy protein bars but you know). I specially enjoy ones from Nature Valley like their plain granola bars, almond butter cookies but I would SPECIFICALLY recommend the XL ones really fill me up for HOURS (if I don't have time to eat on campus) and ones from the Quacker brand that have peanuts, almonds and coconut. But just choose ones of your preference.

Along with the bars and snacks, seriously take with you at least one tuna can. It has saved me too, so many times when I have forgot my wallet and felt really sick from eating nothing all day. I take with me the ones that are ready to eat, with some veggies and mayo, easy to open and even have a small fork on the top (not an actual can, i would probably cut my fingers off). If you don't have those, then just take a packet with you. Trust me on this.

Talking about forgetting your money: always hide some on your backpack/purse or anything yo take with you everyday! I keep my emergency money on my pencil case (I always take it with me). If anyone ever goes through my stuff (for whatever reason) they most likely wouldn't check the pencil case for money. If I leave my wallet home or I need to pay for an emergency uber or whatever else problem I may encounter with, it's always there. You can also keep it in your phone case but at least i always forget, lose, or spend it because i forget it's for emergencies only.

Buy one of the travelers packs with a portable toothbrush, deodorant, paste, etc. Again, cannot recommend enough after forgetting to apply deodornt. Specially if you're eating tuna you will need it.

Keep the little samplers of perfume bottles they give you when you buy on department stores and stuff like that. Keep it in your traveler's little plastic bag. They are very helpful too, if you ever feel like you stink a bit or you have an important presentation.

If you're a human with a period please take an extra pad/tampon with you. If it doesn't help you it might help another person (and don't forget to replace it once you used it).

Always update your teachers on your big assignments progress. You will always get max score if you do. You'll be able to change stuff on the go instead of conditioning yourself to just one chance to do it.

It's better to hand in something than to hand in nothing. Even if it doesn't meet ALL of the teachers pin points, you'll at least have the possibility to earn some points instead of giving up.

Do what they ask you to do, even if it's not how you would do it. They say to place the title at the bottom instead than at the end? Maybe ask, but if they say that's how it's done repeatedly, then you do it that way. Even if it's wrong. Most times they will think their way of doing things is the only way and that's how they will grade you: by how you follow instructions.

Don't overwork yourself. Don't try to impress them. I'm such a teachers pet most times but don't even bother trying to do anything other than what they ask for. They won't aknowledge it, and won't give you extra credit. 20 page report? Do 20 page. You will only tire yourself and most probably won't even read it through and through, they have 50 other papers to check. They won't appreciate a student writing 70 pages.

Don't give yourself more work, seriously. If they ask you to do the bare minimum, then do it. Yes, maybe surveying 300 people will give you rather more exact answer and better statistics, but you have 9 other classes. Don't stress too much about it. It's one class, and if the teacher asks for 15, then just do 15. Even if that graph is wanky, just don't tire yourself. Once again, it won't help anyone.

Some of these, specifically the ones about food are for emergencies. Please, eat well, have proper food when you have the chance, don't skip meals and stay hydrated.

University Tips (non-conventional)

If these help anyone, great!

Wear sports bras to lectures instead of the ones with a buckle at the back. They tend to poke and prod your back after a while if you’re leaning back. Sports bras don’t.

Set your timetable as your phone background for the first few weeks. Use this method for no. 6 too if you can be bothered. 

Lay a towel on your bed a few days before your period is due. If you leak on a towel you can just wash it or throw it away. Easier than washing and changing the sheets.

When you’re in a lecture taking notes on a laptop remember to turn down the brightness on your screen, especially if the lecturer has dimmed the lights. Otherwise you’ll annoy others and drain your battery. 

Save your recordings at every given break instead of making one continuous one through pausing. Sometimes files are too large to save and you don’t want to risk losing the entire lecture recording. Save as you go along.

If you need to remember something (e.g. a library book, USB, locker key..) write in on a post-it note and stick it on your shoes before you sleep. Make sure they’re the shoes you intend to wear the next day!

Don’t shoot me: if you have left an assignment really late, stay up as long as you can completing it (yes, that means an all-nighter may be needed). Sleep as soon as you’ve handed it in. 

If you use tech in a lecture e.g. phone for recording or electronic notetaking on your laptop, then mess around with it before uni begins. Know what buttons to press and when, otherwise you’ll mess up your notes and annoy others, with your excessive clicking. 

Always, always, ALWAYS carry a plastic bag/carrier bag. You might need to make a trip to the library, drink may spill in your bag so you’ll need an alternative or you make not be able to dispose of a pad/tampon until you get back home. Seriously, just carry one.  

Find out where coursework/assignment are submitted within your first week on campus. Ask admin how the procedure works and make sure you know it inside out. 

I’ll update this list as things come to me. I hope it helps, this is all my opinion, sorry.