#i posted this and forgot to tag it like a fool lmao

[brittanias]

when wind stands fair and the night is perfect, when you least expect it, but always when you need it the most...there is a song.

the final piece in my doctor/river trio: twelve and river! i’m so sad we never got to see more of them together, because peter capaldi and alex kingston had the SWEETEST chemistry. i love that river really did come back into his life when he needed her the most, and taught him how to stay still and live in the moment. i just know they snuck out and stretched those 24 years out as long as they could.

(this is available as a sticker in my shop!)

[lxvi-gloria]

Drabble Prompt: Post-canon Levi, struggling with chronic pain and mourning his dead loved ones, being visited by his still alive loved ones

Anon, you knew how to talk pretty to me <3

hihi requests are still open btw

I feel like I gotta put a disclaimer or something lmao. So, the length of my drabble requests is usually something between 100-400 words. This request is just an incredibly unexpected exception. it just happened to fit into this idea I already had been thinking of, which was how the remaining 104th would ask Levi to be part of important events in their lives because well, they like the dude lmao, so expect that sort of one-shot soon. Additionally, since I kept reminding myself that this was supposed to be a drabble, I might have glossed over the chronic pain and mourning bits so I'm sorry about that ;;

that being said, 2.4k words of Levi and Gabi be upon ye <3

Now on Ao3!

The angry hissing of the kettle makes him flinch. It brings a loud ringing to his right ear. Instinctively, he places his right hand over it, and gives his ear a couple of gentle taps; it's more of a grounding gesture, a distraction from the buzzing. He usually keeps watch over the kettle, so that he can lower the heat just right before it gets a chance to scream at him. 

He realises then that he must have spaced out while waiting. It’s alright, he thinks. It’s been like that a lot, recently. He’s been like that. Lost in thought-- lost in time, if he allowed himself to be precise. The last days, weeks even, as the temperatures started to drop, blended into each other. There’s a little calendar on his bedside table, it had been a birthday gift from Armin – or had that been Mikasa’s? He isn’t sure, he had received an absurd number of presents from the kids last year, it had been hard to keep track of who gave him what and now the fact escaped him. Turning the pages of the little calendar, with its delicate botanical illustrations on each day, quickly became part of his morning routine, and so he was sure that time was passing at all. The stillness of the routine, he guesses, made him like this.

His vision blurs momentarily while he scoops the tea leaves into the teapot. He squints, trying to will his good eye to focus, but all he gets in return is a throb in his right eye. After putting the tea canister away, he presses the inner sides of his wrists to both eyes, placing just enough pressure to relieve the discomfort. When he opens his eyes again, he is pleased to find he can read the small print on the canister an arm’s length away. 

There’s a loud slam coming from the front of the house, followed by footsteps coming further into the house.

He quickly recognizes the heavy stomping as Gabi’s gait. She’s always been so loud.

Gabi crosses the arch into the small kitchen and dining area. 

“Don’t slam my doors,” he says as a greeting, slowly turning his head to his left side, trying to catch a glimpse of her in his periphery.

“Aye, aye,” the kid waves her hand, shoots him a teasing grin, “someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”

Levi hums in response but doesn’t say anything else. He busies himself with placing everything they need for their morning tea and coffee on a metal tray on the counter, which Gabi takes from him as soon as it’s ready and sets it on the table.

He grabs his cane from where he had hooked it on one of the kitchen drawers. He has been leaning against the counter, his right leg supporting most of his weight all this time. He braces himself for the sharp pain that will surely surge from his bad knee, through his left hip and up his spine. Cold mornings like this one and being still in one place for long will do that to him. It’s not so bad. It could be worse.

It takes 4 steps to get from the stove to his chair, which Gabi has already pulled out for him. It sits at an angle that allows him to easily slide down on it and rest his right elbow on top of the table, leaning back and against his good side.

��I have something that will cheer you up,” she holds a couple of envelopes in her hand and waves them at him, “You’ve got mail!”

He nods at her in acknowledgement but does not take his attention away from preparing his first batch of tea of the day. There’s a ritual to it, it almost feels like, and he doesn’t want to mess it up. Not when the ringing in his ear is still there, the building pressure in the upper back part of his eyeballs, and the cold air seeping into his bones through his thick jumper. Oh, how he needs a good cup of tea right now.

While Levi waits for it to steep, he grabs the papers that she had shoved in his face, squints his eyes at the first envelope and finds that he is unable to make out much of the handwriting. He brings it closer to his face, squints harder, steals a quick glance across the table and hopes Gabi isn’t paying him any mind, too preoccupied with choosing from the bag of pastries she brought with her. It is with an impassive expression that he hands the stack of envelopes back. 

“Read it for me.” A beat and then he adds, a little reluctant: “Please.”

He knows Gabi prefers coffee in the mornings, and black tea in the evenings, so he makes sure to have a fresh brew of the former whenever he knows she’s coming over; so, with shaky hands, Levi gets to prepare her cup of coffee. While he enjoys the aroma of it, he remains faithful to tea; at first, he thought he didn’t like it because he had butchered his first attempts at brewing it. But even after Onyankopon had taught him how to do it properly and he had enjoyed his cup, it didn’t bring the same comfort as tea. It just never hit the spot.

She shoots him a mischievous grin, “Oh, you sure? What if I read something personal, hm?” 

Levi just shakes his head, scoffing at the idea of Gabi finding his junk mail fascinating.

“Is this how I find out you have a secret lover you’re exchanging raunchy love letters with?” Gabi teases, wiggling her eyebrows at him.

He lets out a tired sigh and rolls his eyes, “just wanna be done with it, ” he stirs the milk into Gabi’s coffee, which now has turned into a cup of milk with coffee. “We have a lot to prepare for tonight.”

She clicks her tongue at him, but still rips the first envelope open, “Mr. Levi, your reading won’t improve if you keep doing that,” she jokingly scolds him.

Although Levi mentally recognises handing her and Falco stuff he couldn’t be bothered reading before, that’s not the case this time. He’ll let her think that for now, though, because he doesn’t want to mention the pressure building in the back of his bad eye, it’s not important and she, a kid, doesn’t need to know his newly found ailment of the week. He can see just fine around him right now. He can see Gabi’s big eyes and playful smile at the other side of the table, and that’s good enough; smaller details, he doesn’t feel he can do them, not without making himself go dizzy with a migraine.

Levi slides the cup of coffee to her and is pleased with himself when she approves of the colour of her drink.

“It’s from Armin,” she announces as she scans the letter. 

From this angle, the soft morning light illuminating her face and thanks to his faulty vision, Gabi’s image stirs his memory. His heart faintly constricts as he is reminded of the many times Hange read their research reports to him during breakfast in the mess hall before presenting them to Erwin. Levi always wondered how they could read so fast, sometimes he even doubted they were actually reading at all, their words barely being able to catch up with her eyes; he never asked about it, maybe reading came easy to them as numbers did to him.

A high-pitched squeal from Gabi startles him, bringing him back to the here and now.

“Oh… ohh, Mr. Levi,” she starts, her smile widening by the second “This is good news!”

Gabi makes a show of clearing her throat and then starts reading “Dear Captain, I hope this letter finds you well and in good health.” 

Levi can’t help but let a sardonic huff at the irony of the greetings but doesn’t let himself be bothered by it. He has written only a handful of personal letters throughout his life, and by now he knows it’s just something you’re supposed to say because jumping straight to the point isn’t acceptable, or so that’s what he had been told. 

Gabi continues reading Armin’s words to him. For the most part, it’s a standard letter coming from him: he asks Levi how he’s dealing with the changing of the seasons, how Gabi and Falco are faring, if business at the tea shop has been good, if there’s anything Levi needs that he can’t get in town so that Armin or the others can get it for him. He tells him a little about the country he’s writing from, he even includes a photograph. Then, after the expected pleasantries, Gabi can barely hold her excitement and starts reading faster, trying so hard not to trip over her words.

“If I’m being sincere, we would prefer to ask you in person,” Gabi stops for a second to look up at him from the paper, gauging for a reaction and finding nothing, she continues. 

Armin apologises for not being able to visit him before the holidays, Annie included, and so it is implied that he won’t be attending tonight’s reunion. 

Sometime during the last five years, the Alliance brats had decided to make showing up at Levi’s doorstep together once a year a sort of custom; the first time it happened was during an early winter, a blizzard had stopped them from leaving Levi’s until the next morning. It had been a really nice evening despite the awful weather, Levi remembers, after everyone pitched in one way or another, they all shared a simple but hearty meal together. It was Connie who jokingly said they should do it every year. The following year, Onyankopon, Gabi and Falco joined them. 

This year would be their fourth, and the first someone wouldn’t make it. That fact sits heavily in Levi’s chest, stealing the spotlight from his throbbing eye.

“...Annie and I have decided to get married. The both of us would like you to officiate our ceremony!” unable to contain her excitement, she tears her eyes away from the paper and looks at Levi. “Huh?! This is good news! What’s with the constipated face?!”

That doesn’t sound right. It figures that Annie and Armin would be the first to marry; in a way, he is happy for them, they clearly care for each other. No, that part is easy to understand. Their union is logical to anyone who knows the couple. What Levi can’t figure out is why they are asking him such a thing.

He clears his throat, assumes it’s been 3 minutes and his tea is ready to be poured and so he distracts himself with that.

When he doesn’t answer Gabi, she picks up where she left off. 

He isn’t… well, he isn’t that close to either of them. He’s sure Annie must have other relatives that could step in his stead. Maybe a brother, a cousin. Even Jean or Reiner would be better options than Levi. He isn’t good with words or people like they are, he couldn’t possibly give them a speech about something foreign to him as it is that kind of love, that’s what people expect, right? His title of Captain is obsolete in this new world, so it can’t be that either. Hell, he has never been to a fucking wedding. 

Just… why him?

As expected, Armin doesn’t really go into the details of their choice but does let Levi know they do not expect a fast answer and that they do not want him to feel pressured to accept it, despite how much it would mean to them if he did. Armin asks if there’s anything in particular that he would like for his birthday, as it is a month away, and closes the letter by saying he looks forward to seeing him and everyone then.

When the letter is closed and put back into its envelope, silence falls around them. For a moment the only sound that can be heard is the clinking of tableware as Levi places the teacup back on its saucer.

It bothers him, that he knows he will be letting Armin down by refusing something that any other well-adapted person would consider an honour. But the thought of embarrassing him and himself, because he gave an awkward, most likely insensitive, speech, mortifies him. No, he can’t put them and their guests through that. He will find a way to make it up to the couple, maybe he can… he doesn’t know yet, but he will come up with something.

As he finishes his first cup, Levi realises that at some point while he was lost in thought, the ringing in his ear has subsided and now it’s back to that muffled, cotton-in-ear sensation he’s used to and he doesn’t feel his eyeball pulsating anymore. Glancing at Gabi, he notices she is trying really hard not to say something, her brow furrowed as she takes a sip of her own drink, followed by a big bite of her pastry. Flakes stick to the corner of her mouth and for once it doesn’t disgust him. Instead, it makes his lips twitch as if going into a smile.

“I can help you... if you want,” she says eventually, sounding uncharacteristically careful and small of her.

Levi quirks an eyebrow “Help? with what?” 

She shrugs, “How to… tell them you don’t want to,” she avoids looking at him for the first time, finding the flakes on her plate more interesting. She shrugs again and tilts her head to the side, a thin line of a smile appearing on her face. “...or prepare for the ceremony.”

Not unlike many times before, Gabi’s words render him speechless, if only for a moment. He spares his tea a glance and he thinks: it’s bold of her to be so upfront about offering her help to him, and had it been any other morning, one where he couldn’t think past the constant ache in his body, he would’ve chewed her head off for simply trying to help him because he himself doesn’t know how to accept that kindness.

This kid is trying her best and he can’t help but feel somewhat proud of that.

“You have shit on your face. Here,” he points to where the flakes would sit on his own face and picks his refilled teacup back up.

Gabi quickly wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, getting most of the flakes off. Levi gives her a thumbs-up with his free hand.

“I’ll think about it,” he finally concedes and tries to ignore the little happy dance she does in her seat.

This time, when the amber liquid touches his lips, it’s remarkably sweeter than before.

[spiderrmax]

main 4 + love languages

synopsis: what i think the main four boy's love languages would be (giving + recieving) author's note: the first time i posted this i forgot the tags lmao. second try is the charm! also this is my first time writing for these guys so sorry if things r kinda ooc!

Stan Marsh

Giving: quality time + words of affirmation

Stan appreciates any time he has with you, even if it is doing school work together. He never finds the silence to be awkward, and doesn’t feel it necessary to fill the air with chatter. Sometimes you guys just sit there, scrolling on your phones, occasionally showing the other something. Stan doesn’t care; your presence is enough.

Stan would rather verbally let you know how much you mean to him, even if he stutters and stumbles around his words. If you’re wearing a new outfit, he’ll compliment it while looking down, ears red and hot. However, he also leaves compliments and notes on paper as well. If you ever let him borrow your notes, he’ll write small “thank you” and doodle hearts in the margins. Despite the awkwardness, his words are sweet.

Receiving: quality time + physical affection

Again, Stan cherishes any moment he has with you. Knowing that you enjoy that time too, and actively want to hang out with him again makes him grin like a fool. 

Stan, despite being a bit of a wreck, really enjoys physical affection. He doesn’t initiate it often, but won’t stop if you hold his hand. He blushes hard if you ever give him a kiss before leaving, especially in front of his friends. (They definitely rip on him.) Any physical affection leaves Stan giddy.

Kyle Broflovski

Giving: gift giving + quality time

Kyle tends to see you a lot in material items, due to excessively remembering your interests. He’ll see a bouquet and think about how your favorite flower is in it, or anything in your favorite color makes him think of you. A lot of his allowance goes to buying those items; although, not everything is bought. He’s definitely picked up crafting, such as cards or bracelets, because he knows that home-made is even more appreciated.

Kyle also loves spending time with you! Unlike Stan, Kyle will plan out what you two are going to do. His mood gets down if something messes up his schedule, like rain or traffic; however, you always make it better. Kyle definitely googles date ideas. He might even have a pinterest board.

Receiving: words of affirmation + acts of services

Kyle can get insecure; sometimes the guy’s words get to him. He’s okay with taking his hat off around you, knowing you won’t say anything mean, but sometimes he can’t stomach it. So, he really appreciates any compliments you give him. Even if it’s something small like, “You’re looking nice today,” or calling him pretty. Yes, he knows it’s not a traditional masculine compliment, but something about you calling him it, so casual and natural makes him happy.

Kyle also likes knowing you think about him! He really appreciates anything you do for him. Anytime he’s sick and has to miss school, you always make sure your notes are neatly written so he can copy them. (He can tell based on all the erased words on your paper.) Whenever he’s had a bad day, you’ll bring him over his favorite snacks and a movie you rented. He loves knowing you think about him.

Eric Cartmen

Giving: acts of services + physical touch

Not gonna lie, figuring out what Eric’s love language was hard. However, his main one is acts of service. If he finds out someone is being mean to you, Eric will definitely get rid of the problem. He won’t even mention it either, but you know it’s him. He does a lot for you, and he doesn’t even realize. At lunch, he’ll grab extra napkins because he knows you forget too. He’ll send you answers to homework (definitely stolen) if you’re sick. If anyone brings this up, he just says it’s because he knows you’re incapable. 

Eric also enjoys physical touch. Out of the four, he’s definitely the jealous one and that goes hand-in-hand with PDA. He has to be touching you, whether by holding your hand, or having an arm around your waist. He doesn’t give a shit if the guys rip on him either, he definitely throws shade back about them being single. He’s even more clingy in closed-doors; he’ll whine if you sit too far on the couch. He really warms up to cuddling after doing it few times,

Receiving: gift giving + words of affirmation 

Buying things for Cartmen is the easiest way to get into Eric’s heart. You bought him a Terrance and Philip doll once and it sits on his shelf. One time Stan tried to grab it and Eric yelled at him. You’ll buy snacks for any movie dates you have, and he appreciates that you can remember his favorites.

Cartman loves praise. He thrives off your compliments. Even if it’s something simple, saying something he did was cool, he will think about it the rest of the day. If it’s a bigger compliment he will brag about it. “Kyle, [your name] called me pretty and awesome. Do you have a partner? I don’t think so.” Despite being deserved, a lot of the things Cartman hears about himself are negative. Your words are a nice change of pace.

Kenny Mccormick

Giving: physical affection + words of affirmation

Kenny loves physical attention, in public or not. He’ll hold your hand and if it gets too cold will put your intertwined hands in the pocket of his parka. He has no problem kissing you in public as long you are okay with it. He’s so handsy too; he will slip his hand down your back jean pocket. Everyone knows you too are dating because Kenny is stitched to your side.

Kenny also loves complimenting you. He will meet you at your house everyday to walk you to the bus stop and the first words he says to you is a compliment about your outfit. (Even if it’s a repeat.) If you do great on a test, Kenny is there calling you smart. Of course, Kenny’s compliments do get vulgar occasionally, complimenting your butt or any other physical asset. However, despite this, it is always heartfelt.

Receiving: physical affection + gift giving

As much as Kenny loves kissing you, he loves even more knowing you enjoy it as well. He only really blushes when you initiate it; one time you kissed him before he hung out with the boys and they could just see the impact you left despite the fact his red face was hidden in his parka. You rubbed your thumb over his knuckles one time when he was upset and he fell even deeper in love with you. Having you excitedly run up and hug him after you haven’t seen him in a while is one of his favorite things.

Growing up poor, Kenny has learned to appreciate the smaller things. Seeing you spend money on him, and being excited to hand him whatever you bought makes him so happy. On your first Valentine’s day together, you bought him a bouquet; he had his mother press the flowers so he could keep them in his room. It doesn’t even have to be a massive thing. You showed him a cool rock you found, it had been in the shape of a heart, and it’s still in the drawer of all the stuff you got him.

[streetkid-named-desire]

Ten movies

Post a gif from your ten favorite movies without saying what they are. This is IMPOSSIBLE because I have the special interest autism where I have a lot of favorites and you have to narrow it down. UGH @luvwich tagged me and I didn't look to see who she tagged but I'm tagging @mel-and-kim-official to do it bc we share movie brainworms

The first one is obvious if you know anything about me at all

The gif I want to share for this one is too gory but also I love this character, he's the star of the movie for me

The director has apparently said there's actually nothing you're really missing from the scenes that didn't make it and were ultimately destroyed lmao

This movie gets my adrenaline pumping it's so fucking good holy shit

One of my favorite films of one of my favorite director's entire canon of films

This was the only gif I could find in tumblrs gif browser. This was one of the first handful of foreign horror my boyfriend introduced me to and I really, really wanna see it again.

I don't have an excuse except I watched this again recently and it was just as if not more absurd than I remembered

Another all time fave

I should have stolen this trilogy from my boyfriend when I was packing up my shit to move out while he was at a friend's house because I forgot my dvd case with ALLLLL my music and movies I've collected over the years

The books are fucking incredible please read the original novels by Koji Suzuki and then watch the original Japanese trilogy

Movie titles under the cut :3

Suspiria (1977) by Dario Argento (I think I would have hated the remake less without the stupid fucking Coldplay soundtrack)

Day of the Dead (1985) by George A. Romero

Event Horizon (1987) by Paul W.S. Anderson (who I regularly get confused with Paul Thomas Anderson the lesser of two Paul Andersons)

Train to Busan (2016) by Yeon Sang-ho. When I first watched this I was shaking like it was doing the autism excitement adrenaline thing and I also hadn't seen zombie gore that made me kinda horny in forever. I can't explain that btw don't ask.

Gozu (2003) by Takashi Miike. Really fucking weird. In the scene in this gif he drinks breast milk it has the head of a cow but the body of a woman.

Battlefield Baseball (2003) by Yûdai Yamaguchi

Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead (2011) by Noboru Iguchi

Thirst (2009) by Park Chan-wook. A priest falls in love/lust with a vampire it's really horny and really good.

Dead or Alive trilogy (1999-2002) by Takashi Miike. Two Yakuza are destined to fight each other in every life. It's surreal and cool and heartwarming and so fun.

Ringu (1998) by Hideo Nakata. I got the trilogy at a used record and movie shop. It was still in plastic with the Walmart price tag on it. I got it for $3. The ORIGINAL JAPANESE TRILOGY. Those fucking fools had no idea what that was actually worth oh my god. It's one of the proudest finds of my current film collection.

[xiaonesis]

Soft Serve 13 // Flavor 1

Flavor 1: Rainbow Sherbet (Suna x Reader)

Tags: Romance, Fluff, Awkward Romance, Summer Romance, Growing & Learning, Miscommunication

A/N: I started writing this more than half a year ago and decided to pick it back up and finish it but I forgot where I was going with it. I initially wanted to write something more light and introspective, on the pains of growing up and the awkwardness and inability to communicate many of us have, as this fic is partly based off real life experiences, and thus it is a slightly personal fic to me as I reflected on my own past, experiences, and regrets, and hopefully, growth. Then, I had a breakdown and lost the plot lmao. Anyways, have this melting cone of chaos and idk's.

(This fic is cross-posted to my AO3)

Suna Rintarou doesn’t believe in love at first sight.

He thinks that people who fall head over heels for someone at first glance are fools. Love is something that is grown into, to be slowly nurtured with time and dedication. To his logic-based brain, the entire idea of smashing head first into love at a glance is ludicrous, like a bad car crash where you never see it coming until it's too late. And that doesn’t sound very pleasant, does it?

But you know what else they say about love at first sight?

That everyone becomes a believer when it happens to them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Suna first meets you in his hometown of Aichi in the summer of his fifteenth year.

He is there for summer break, helping out at his uncle’s ice-cream shop a stone’s throw away from the nearest beach. He didn’t want to be but his parents had insisted, claiming that it would be good for him to spend time with his grandmother and uncle. 

Had he been given the choice, he would be spending his break lazing at home playing video games instead of being dressed in this ridiculous pink and yellow striped ice-cream boy cap and uniform, scooping out cones of ‘Soft Serves With A Smile.’   He’d rather be slamming hard serves into the twins that made it onto the same volleyball team as him.

AC doesn’t even exist in the shop as a silver lining. There are only three fans on maximum power, twisting and churning air as they swivel. With the unbearable heat amplifying his discomfort, days at his seaside hometown pass slowly, thick and syrupy from dawn to dusk. 

It doesn’t feel like summer at all.

That all changed the day the shop bell chimed and you walked in.

“Welcome to Soft Serve 13–”

People often say that love at first sight is similar to a lightning strike, fast and purple hot. But there was no purple summer lightning electrifying him, no volcanic eruption setting his heart on fire for Suna. 

There is only a great void, white and silent, that descended upon his mind unforeseen; a tsunami that crashes down his frozen body, washing away all sensible thought and bodily functions before leaving him stranded on unknown, pristine shores.

For the next twenty seconds that stretches like a lifetime as he is caught in his first glance of you, Suna is suspended in that void. White sand in his ears, and his eyes sees nothing and everything simultaneously in an ivory world.

(It feels exactly like the moments before a car crash where life flashes by in a white blind)

Suddenly, his hand is freezing hot and Suna is dragged from that sandy void.

“Shit–”

Dulcet chocolate covers his hand, trickling from the melted cone he was supposed to hand to the perturbed, waiting customer in front of him. Uttering a quick string of apologies, Suna sets about serving a fresh cone whilst enduring your barrage of giggles as you wait next in line, his face hotter than summer itself.

The door chimes again, and he is left alone with you in this tiny, humid shop with fans blowing revoltingly loud and you’re still grinning teasingly – blinding – at him. He pulls his stupid pink and yellow cap down over his eyes.

“If mine melts, can I get a free scoop?”

‘No,’ his mind says but his mouth fires off a “Yes.”

He didn’t think it was possible for your smile to grow any wider. Windchimes jingle in the timbre of your pleased laughter, not expecting his answer. “Guess I’ll have to make sure to distract you long enough for it to melt,” you chirp, browsing the display with an impish smirk. 

Suna knows right away he wouldn’t mind getting ice-cream all over his hand again if it means you’ll stick around longer. 

By the Gods , was he always this much of a chump?

He’s not a casanova (that’s Atsumu’s shtick), but Suna never gets nervous around the opposite sex, and he likes to think he can pull in girls if he wants to. However, between school, games, and volleyball, there was no space for romance in his life yet Suna finds himself pulling and fanning at his collar as he tries to maintain eye contact with you. He’s strangely nervous and it shows in the way he continuously drums his fingers on glass.

Suna never talks to customers beyond what is necessary but he continuously finds ways and topics to keep you around. Usually, he works fast to have all his customers served so that he may return to his phone. Yet, thirty minutes has passed since you entered the store and you’re still standing without a cone in your hand and he’s leaning across the glass, handing you your thirteenth free taste. 

In that period, he’s found out that you’re visiting the area with your mother for two weeks, that you’re his age, and attend school in Tokyo. And he’s shared that he’s originally from Aichi but goes to school in Hyogo, is working here for the summer, and this is his uncle’s shop. Favorite music, recommended sights and places, food, hobbies, and a slew of other random tidbits about each other were also mutually exchanged in between.

(He wonders if he can entice you to stay with the other flavors available.)

Another ten minutes later and you finally settle on a flavor, but Suna knows by that curl in your lips that’s been there since twenty-five minutes ago that you already knew what you wanted the moment you stepped foot into the shop.

“I’ll have Rainbow Sherbet.”

He makes a face. “I’m judging you.”

“It’s a good flavor!”

“It’s sour–”

“And sweet.”

“–and leaves this tart, prickly taste in your mouth. It’s terrible.”

“No it isn’t! Here, try some!” You bring a small spoonful to him.

“No–” he swats your hand, “I know what Rainbow Sherbet tastes like. I work here.”

You press against the glass– he’s going to have to clean it of your grubby hand prints later – but he doesn’t mind it one bit when he sees you straining over the display in an attempt to reach him. Honestly, if his uncle saw him now, he’d get an earful for ‘messing and flirting’ with a customer but Suna is unable to stop himself from gravitating towards your hand and the spoon pinched precariously between your fingers.

“Just try it!” you insist.

Suna frowns at your persistence, adjusting his cap with one hand as if he’s about to tell you off. But he tips it up instead, so that he has a clear view of you when he grabs your wrist and leans in to close his mouth around your spoon. His cheeks hollow and Suna sucks the sweet ice with an obnoxious slurp that has him smirking around the spoon and you, gaping. 

Zesty lime and sour raspberry goes off like fireworks on the roof of his mouth before melting with a trail of fragrant pineapple on his tongue.

Your eyes widen, clearly not expecting him to do that, thinking that he would at least take the spoon from you first. 

To be honest, Suna didn’t expect himself to do that either, especially not with the rapid pace of his heart. It’s worth it though, to see the obvious flush racing up your neck to fill your cheeks. It matches what is on his but he tells himself it’s the heat.

He releases the spoon with a pop but keeps his grip on your wrist. He can’t stop grinning but forces an impudent gag through the stretch of his cheeks.

“Yuck.”

He lets you go, fingers sliding soft on the back of your hand. 

The spoon is brandished at him. “You liked it. Don’t lie. I also demand a free scoop.”

“But it didn’t melt?”

You stick your hand out and sure enough, there’s a trail of sticky green and orange running down your arm.

“You took too long,” you murmur, avoiding his eyes. “Could have just eaten it normally.”

Another smug smirk. “Where’s the fun in that?”

The fans are deafening but its winds are cool on his hotter-than-ever skin and lovely in the billow of your dress. The bell chimes and a gaggle of children rush into the store alongside a woman that taps your shoulder with a call of your name. He guesses that’s your mother, wondering where her daughter’s been for almost an hour. 

He realizes then that neither of you introduced yourselves.

Your mother leaves and your eyes flicker to the tag pinned to a strip of pink right above his heart. “I will collect my free scoop tomorrow, Suna Rintarou.”

The promise of your return lingers in this tiny, breezy shop, and tomorrow can’t come fast enough.

It finally feels like Summer.

 (And he’s on his way to a car crash)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Why here? There’s not much to do in Aichi in general, needless to say here.”

You shrug. “We just wanted some place a bit more slow, more relaxing, you know? My mum’s tired of the city and I don’t really mind. She’s paying for everything anyway.”

“Where would you choose to travel though?” He steals a spoonful of colorful ice-cream from your cup and you let him.

“Hmm, I don’t know for sure,” you muse. “Probably somewhere outside of Japan. I’ve always wanted to go abroad. What about you, if you’re not working here?”

He shrugs. “Nah, too much effort.”

“Can’t believe you got scouted for volleyball with that lazy-ass attitude.” You fling your crumpled tissue at him. 

Suna catches it and shoots it straight into the bin without moving from his seat. “Work smarter not harder.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Two weeks whirl by quicker than a sunshower.

Suna spends it chatting with you during your frequent visits (your hotel isn’t too far) to the store, hanging with you at the beach (the one a stone’s throw away), and texting with you till late night in the comfort of his bed.

Your mother definitely gave him a few looks during the times she came to the store with you. Her flavor of choice is caramel coffee and yours, rainbow sherbet. 

He gave her a free scoop once, and now she praises him, “You’re such a good kid,” every time before leaving. You’ll roll your eyes and he’ll give you a peace sign.

He stays in touch with you for the rest of summer break after you leave. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

When school restarts, the two of you are still in contact. You don’t use social media, but you’ll send him photos of your life in Tokyo and he’ll send you links to his posts and stories.

September wind blows and this gradually peters out in autumn as the Inarizaki High Volleyball Club shifts into full gear for Nationals in winter.

[Good luck preparing for Nationals! Maybe we can catch up in Tokyo when you’re here!]

He’s so tired from practice, he tells himself he will reply tomorrow. But Suna forgets, and he does reply, only two weeks later. Yours come in another week. Then his, the week after.

Eventually, rainbow sherbets and the girl he met over summer fades to the back of Suna’s mind, just as the last leaves of autumn sheds. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

It momentarily crosses his mind to contact you again, two nights before Nationals.

In the rush of prepping for the games and packing for the trip to Tokyo, it slips his mind until he’s standing outside the stadium gates. But they lose to Karasuno, and the message is never sent as he is once again packing to leave.

He suddenly feels like eating rainbow sherbets, but it’s too cold for ice-cream.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

The next time Suna sees you, it is once again in Aichi, in the summer of his sixteenth year. 

He didn’t plan on coming back here, but after their loss at Nationals and the rigorous training in the following months, Suna decided he needs a break away from Hyogo and the goons he calls his teammates.

He definitely did not expect to see you again.

The sight of you, fingers waving timidly from the sunlit entrance accompanied by bell-chimes, melts the cone in his hand. A fuzzy, sticky repeat of last year.

He’s in that void again, where everything else seems to vanish and there’s hot sand in his ears, between his toes, warm wind in his stomach running up his throat– déjà vu has never felt more full yet it’s different. It’s the same blank space, only less�� empty. Less white. There’s color to the sand this year, and he can hear rustling in trees that weren’t there before, only it’s not the wind but fans.

“What’re you doing here?”

“I had fun here last year so,” you shrug, small and shy, head tucked into yourself. “I asked my mum if we could visit again.” A finger twirls a lock of hair.

Suna’s heart leaps as his mind races, jumping and wondering if it was fun because of him because he remembers how you brought Summer into his August. Even if he hasn’t tasted rainbow sherbets since he last saw you, and cannot remember what you talked about under the cover of night and cotton sheets.

In a close replay of last year, Suna feels rejuvenated with your presence in this tiny, warm shop. The fans are a godsend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He wonders if he should apologize for not responding about Tokyo and his haphazard responses until that point. It’s probably weird to do that now.

You don’t mention it either so he figures it doesn’t matter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I wondered if you would be here, but didn’t think that you actually would,” you say, licking at your rainbow sherbet. Typical.

“Me? I’m more surprised you’re here again. There’s nothing to do here.”

“That’s not true. My mum liked it. She likes that it’s close to the ocean but she can still hop on a train and go shopping.” 

Suna side-eyes you with doubt but finds you facing him with a grin. His body naturally turns towards you.

“Besides, you’re here too!” you giggle, meaning nothing more than a joke easily said between friends. His chest thrums all the same and white shores seep into his vision. 

Suna flicks your forehead in response.

“Hey–”

“Gimmie a bite.”

“I thought you hated rainbow sherbet!” you protest, but bring your cone up anyways.

“Maybe I’ve changed my mind.” 

He grabs your wrist as if to steady the cone and prevent any attempt to smash the entire thing into his face. The way he looks at you, steady and unwavering, from underneath the hood of his uniform cap is telling you something else. 

Cracks dance up the cone from where your fingers press tightly into the biscuit, raining crumbs onto the space between your bodies. Suna pulls back and you take a large bite opposite of where he sunk his teeth into yellow.

“Yep, it still sucks.”

His face scrunches and you punch his arm. At least he didn’t gag this time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Suna keeps in touch with you regularly through the year, until the following summer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On his seventeenth summer, Suna plans to go back to Aichi again. This time, he knows you will be there because the two of you planned it.

Now that you’re older, your mum is allowing you to travel on your own; she also trusts the ‘good kid’ to take care of her daughter, to your chagrin.

The Miya twins are constantly bothering Suna this year, wondering why he keeps going back to Aichi when all he’s done is complain about how boring it was in previous years– which it is, besides you. They’ve heard about you before though, the girl he met in the summer of two years ago.

“Ya’ know, she must really like ya’ if she’s goin’ all the way there again to visit ya,’” Atsumu comments, chomping on yakisoba bread. Osamu makes a garbled sound of agreement through his food.

“We’re just friends,” Suna says, face straight, but he wonders if you know how the world vanishes into nothing when he’s with you. He feels anxious merely thinking about it. 

“Sure, friends,” Atsumu waggles his brows and Osamu nods.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

This year, his uncle invites you to join them for dinner at his grandmother’s home.

He’s spotted you a few times over the years, and gives Suna much grief about the girl his nephew's constantly loitering around with outside of work, and during work. He often says with a wink, “I’m paying you to work, not to flirt!” 

Suna never says anything in response, only squints his eyes and shakes his head at the older man that acts younger than Suna himself; he knows he does the work expected of him even if he may slack here and there.

Dinner with his uncle, grandmother, and a cousin that decided to join them last minute is a simple yet loud affair. 

Suna’s uncle is rowdy with a positive outlook on all things in life; says he chose to open an ice-cream shop because ice-cream makes everybody smile. His grandmother is along in years, silver crowning her demure frame and lovely smile. She absolutely adores you. 

“I’ve never seen Rinrin bring a friend, much less a friend, around. You are his girlfriend, yes?”

Suna’s never had miso up his nostrils before but there we go. A first time for everything.

“Grandma–” he groans but says nothing more; doesn’t attempt to deny it, only glance at you snickering next to him. He notes with a little shake of his leg that you didn’t either.

(He’s overthinking, he’s assuming, he definitely is–)

It’s late when you finally leave, and Suna volunteers to walk you back to your lodge before his uncle can offer to drive you. He can feel their grins burning into his back as he puts on his shoes after you, and throws them an exasperated glare before the door closes.

“Your family is really nice.”

He rubs the space between his brows. “I’m glad they live here and not in Hyogo. They’re too much.”

“What are your parents like?”

“Like that . My mum had to get it from somewhere. My father’s quieter.”

You laugh and conversation flows easy as it always does when he’s with you. He doesn’t have to think about anything in particular; colors naturally flow to color the void without his intention. It’s all peaceful, the world vanishing and leaving a blank canvas that’s meant for you to cover with pale cream footprints, and greens, pinks, and oranges. 

Night zephyrs slap a leaf onto your face and you throw it at Suna. A splotch of green spreads on the canvas. 

You’ve long since walked by your lodge and Suna follows without question, trailing gravel crunching beneath your shoes and the ocean breeze in your hair. The stars are out in full force tonight but the brightest star is next to him, voice shimmering with August life.

His Summer.

The ocean, pulsating in deep indigo, stretches beyond  concrete barriers erected on the road side. 

Suna watches when you ignore the barrier’s sole purpose and climb onto it, inviting him to join you with the beckoning of your hand and a pat to the empty space next to you; a space he gladly fills.

“You don’t see stars like this in Tokyo,” you whisper, afraid of shattering the quiet seaside.

Suna takes his phone out, wiping at the black of his screen. You tilt your head, asking doubtfully if he can even snap a photo of the stars with that, but it changes to pleasant surprise when he flips the camera and shifts closer to you.

The dim light from a nearby lamp is barely enough to illuminate your features but if he squints and zooms in, barely – just barely –, you can make out the ridge of his nose below glinting chartreuse through prismatic noise. And Suna can somewhat trace your teeth glowing baby blue and the push of your cheeks. 

“It’s so shit,” you guffaw, snatching his phone to zoom around your unrecognizable faces.

“It’s natural lighting. None of those disgusting filters you kids like to use.”

“We’re literally the same age!”

His phone is returned, and Suna’s fingers tap on the back of his case as he deliberates, jittery under the universe and you, wholly unaware of his nerves. 

In another 3 hours, the sun will rise and when you finally stand, he finds the courage to blurt the words that have been spooling in his head since midnight.

(He wishes for a longer Summer with you)

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

All the nervousness that hounded Suna when he invited you to the local fireworks festival a few nights ago? It’s all gone the moment he sees you in your yukata, the folding fan his grandmother lent you slipped neatly into your obi.

Never mind that you packed one for your trip. “Swimsuits are not the only essentials for a summer vacay~”

So you say. Suna isn’t complaining.

Festivals have never been his thing; it’s hot, humid, crowded– moist . Yet, he looked forward to this one with you. He’s never been to this festival until now, walking next to you with a cooler in his hand.

“What’s in there?” you peek curiously at the box, reaching for the clasp. 

Suna lifts the box up high where your grubby hands are unable to grab them. 

“Later.”

You pout; long fingers poke your cheeks but later comes sooner than you expected. Sitting on a green picnic sheet that has seen better days, Suna opens the box. A pint of rainbow sherbet beams from a bed of ice, to your great pleasure. 

“I thought you hated rainbow sherbet!” you exclaim, heartily accepting the spoon he hands you.

Suna shrugs, struggling to keep his expression even at your simple joy. “It’s alright,” he says coolly, popping the lid off and letting you take the first scoop.

A triple-colored wave curls against your spoon just as the first boom goes off, splashing starlit skies with fiery flowers of red, green, and gold. 

The plain skies above white shores he shares with you, too, are filled with bursts of rainbows.

(Perhaps it isn’t purple lightning. Instead, it is a pint of ice-cream between your bodies. Love at first sight is a trifecta of colors, exploding)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Do you believe in love at first sight?” 

Your jaw drops, not expecting that question from Suna Rintarou. Nonetheless, you pause, and Suna can see the gears churning in your head. He doesn’t know why, but he appreciates that; a certain pair of twins wouldn’t have given him the same courtesy.

When you finally answer, Suna leans in. “It’s hard to say for sure but I probably do.”

“Probably?” 

“I mean, I don’t know if it is love at first sight, but maybe more like wanting to know a person more. Way more than other people, right away.”

Your answer, though not bad, makes Suna a tad nervous. 

“It’s like discovering a new place, you know?” You nod to the world outside the shop window, sweltering in the unforgiving sun. “I didn’t think I would love this place the first time I came here. Now I’m here for the third year in a row!” 

“With this shop or my hometown?” Suna wears a teasing smirk but it feels like he’s about to have a heart attack. 

You smile furtively and Suna never gets an answer. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

He very much does.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

On your last night in Aichi before you take Summer away with you, Suna unlocks the door to his uncle’s ice-cream shop. He has received express permission to “help yourselves” to a buffet of ice-cream as your farewell gift (until next year).

He’s never eaten so much ice-cream in one sitting before in his life, and likely, neither have you judging by the way you’re massaging your stomach. His own hurts, and the sugar running in his blood makes him want to grab your hand and run out onto the beach.

You groan, poking at the remains of your rainbow sherbet. “Rin~ help me finish this!”

His tongue juts out. “Ew, rainbow sherbet. No thanks.”

“Please! I’m struggling,” you bemoan, listlessly swallowing another spoonful.

Torn between sighing and chuckling at your torment, Suna moves his chair next to yours. His acquiescence revitalizes you, and you immediately bring your spoon up to feed him in a familiar repeat of the first time you met him.

And just like the first time, Suna wraps his hand around your wrist, pulling the spoon– you– closer as he leans in. His palms burn like the mid-August sky over your midsummer skin.

His lips part.

Lime and raspberry. The sour taste makes him squint. 

His expression makes you grin, causing the little stripe of green lime on the corner of your mouth to stretch. 

It’s that damn stripe’s fault.

It compelled Suna, pulling him beyond the spoon falling loose in your hand to touch his lips on that stripe of green.

A soft taste of lime. Sour. It makes him squeeze his eyes shut, or so he tells himself. 

It’s not the hard beating of his heart, the panic that lances him when he realizes what he has done, the fear of seeing your reaction and feeling your mouth tremble against his.

Surprise and nerves, he likes to think, and tells himself.

Suna keeps his eyes squeezed closed, the layer of sweat between where his hand meets your skin palpable as the damning taste of lime on both your lips.

Hours seemed to come and went in the seconds he allowed his hormones and stupid, summery feelings get the better of him and you only sat there, still and silent. Suna still has his eyes sewed shut, and can’t see your expression. He can’t see jack shit and the only thing telling him that you’re still there is the unbroken touch of your lips against his and your shaky, warm breaths.

It was only seconds but it felt like an eternity to Suna, before you finally moved and saved him from his spiraling mind and the awkwardness that was creeping upon him.

It’s tentative, unsure, and Suna wasn’t sure if he imagined it at first but there’s no mistaking the light press back and gods, Suna would have heaved in relief if he wasn’t still connected to you by the mouth, featherlight it may be.

At seventeen, you and Suna shared your first kisses with each other. It was awkward, weird, sticky and tasted like lime. Short. But sweet.

 Perhaps rainbow sherbet isn’t as bad as he thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

He’s not sure why but in the weeks, then months, following that kiss– unaddressed, unspoken of henceforth– the two of you don’t speak as much anymore. The messages petered out like the end of a summer shower, muggy and uncomfortable, and clings to him long after summer and rain have gone.

The last exchange had been amiable.

‘Good night.’

Yet, it was excruciatingly hard picking it up again as the days slipped by.

The last of autumn’s leaves fall and Suna wonders if it would be strange suddenly messaging you out of the blue. He stares long at the ‘seen’ and timestamp from hotter days.

Gods, he’s seventeen and thinks it’d definitely be lame to do so. Besides, if you wanted to talk to him, you could always message him first too.

And you haven’t.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

You too, stare at the ‘seen’ and timestamp recollecting balmy days. With cheeks pressed deep into your arms and blankets wrapped tight all around against the encroaching winter, wondering what it’d feel like if it were the arms of a certain ice-cream shop boy instead.

But you’re seventeen and the future is scary and uncertain.

The letter confirming your acceptance to your chosen study abroad program peeks tauntingly at you from underneath stacks of books.

You were happy– still are– when you received the news back in July. You had planned to share that joy with Suna when you met him in Aichi in the summer. Yet, something held you back, kept the words from being spilled even as ice-cream melted and foolish secrets were shared under starry skies and blanket of waves.

You were resolved to tell him and had been prepared to do so on your last night in Aichi–

Then he kissed you. And you kissed back, with surprise and an elated heart.

And you didn’t say anything after that.

Stupid.

It’s all so silly. This crushing in your chest– you want to stay, to visit Aichi and see Suna again. You want to go, pursue your dreams and studies abroad as you have always planned before him and his damn pink-yellow cap ever appeared in your life.

You want more summer days with Suna, and autumn, winter, and spring! You want all the seasons with him, to explore this undeniable attraction but–

‘Good night.’

It’s been weeks since either of you said anything. They always say that if a guy truly likes you, he would reach out no matter what.

And he hasn’t.

You’re going abroad. You already know that, deep in your mind, despite what your young heart longs for.

You’re seventeen and decided that it would be illogical to pursue anything with the ice-cream boy, with the most brilliant, unforgettable set of eyes you met over summers.

And just like that, it was as if neither of you were ever in each other’s lives.

Like fireworks, the two of you splashed and burned brief, shared months and dispersed in wisps of smoke to the world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

On his eighteenth summer, Suna returns to Aichi again to work at his uncle’s shop.

He has since moved to Tokyo to pursue his own ambitions, but something he wishes to not name pulls him back to his uncle’s shop, like it had every year, for the past three years. 

His eyes constantly dart to look at every shadow that passes by the windows, and his head zooms up with every ding of the bell. The days pass slowly, more excruciating than usual, thick and syrupy from dawn to dusk.

You never showed up.

(It doesn’t feel like summer at all)

The bell chimes for what would be the final time for Suna. As the last customer of the summer and the rest of his life ponders what flavor they will have, Suna impetuously stabs the tasting spoon he had been holding into the swirly tub of green, orange, and pink– and takes a bite.

Yuck. Rainbow sherbet isn’t as good as he thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You are eighteen and abroad, young and excited.

Yet everytime you come across an ice-cream shop, hear waves and feel the sand between your toes, see the occasional, miraculous starry sky–

From halfway across the world, you are reminded of brilliant yellow eyes and a boy in pink and yellow stripes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

On your nineteenth summer, you return to Aichi.

With a thudding heart and hopes and young daydreams of what could be. 

Will it be awkward? What shall you say first? Something witty or nostalgic? What will he say when he sees you? Will he be happy to see you?

The bell chimed and none of those mattered when it wasn’t Suna at the counter but his uncle instead. 

“Didn’t he tell you? He isn’t returning to Aichi this year.”

“Oh.” Your throat is closing up. “I wanted to surprise him so I didn’t ask him in case it tipped him off–” You rub your neck to alleviate the embarrassment burning hot there and blink multiple times, forcing away the rising pressure in your eyes.

“You silly kids!” Suna’s uncle laughs. “He was here last year but you weren’t! And now you are! Wait till I tell him–”

“Please don’t tell him! He might feel bad if you did, and it was entirely my fault for not checking with him.” In truth, you called but the line didn’t go through. His number has changed. 

“You sure? Knowing Rintarou he’d just scratch his bum about it–”

You giggle despite your falling heart. “I’m sure. Perhaps next year.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

You return to Aichi again on your twentieth summer. And your twenty-first.

Unlike previously, it was less for the specific purpose of seeing him and more to visit a place, and its inhabitants, that has grown close to you.

But the hope that he would be there never truly died, and each time you entered the ice-cream shop with a full heart close to combusting, that does, inadvertently burst.

For Suna never visited Aichi again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

It’s been four years since Suna last visited his hometown. He is now twenty-two.

In his defense, he presently plays for EJP Raijins and has been incredibly busy with his career; the last few years have been tough: training, press, tournaments, and everything else that comes with becoming an upcoming pro athlete. 

His family understands that. Still, it has been a while since he saw his grandmother and uncle; his parents visit him in Tokyo every year. So he’s invited them all to his game this year, fully paid for by him.

Only, in place of his grandmother, he saw you instead when he went to greet them in the hall before the game. There you were, shuffling nervously next to his uncle, looking as if you haven’t changed at all in the last four years, even if you have grown up. The both of you have.

Suna felt it again, the same feeling he had when he saw you all those years ago. It’s faint, dimmer than when it first manifested in his fifteen year old self; a white void, great and silent, cascading onto him. But it’s the same one, he’s sure of it. Because he’s never felt it with anyone else he’s met, and he’s met a lot of people in recent years.

Suna doesn’t know why; it’s illogical, but he supposes that everything concerning this feeling is, though he is reluctant to name it. He’s always thought that, long before it happened to him. 

Long before he met you.

“Hi,” you say shyly.

It feels like he freshly emerged from an overtime match when he breathes out, “Hey.”

These two words are all that is said between you before he is marching off to the locker rooms with an empty head– white shores– ‘Hi’s and ‘Hey’s etched in the sand. Suna wants to ram his head onto the lockers for reasons he cannot comprehend. 

Seeing you again after all these years…he is transported back to his uncle’s shop, wearing that stupid pink and yellow striped uniform with chocolate dripping down his hand. The EJP Raijins jersey he’s quietly proud of melts away in the face of you, an occurrence he never fathomed.

The void stays when the whistle blows, but he isn’t distracted. On the contrary, the thought of you in the crowd, watching him, sustains the quiet shores inside of his mind and heart; its peace drowns out the cheers.

And Suna played the best he has ever played since he joined the team.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Rintarou, stop being dumb. I thought you’re smarter than this.”

“Uncle, what are you talking about–”’

“You know what I’m talking about! Watching you two during dinner was embarrassing! You barely spoke! Your grandfather’s rolling in his grave!” 

“...no one asked you to look,” Suna counters weakly. “And leave grandpa out of this. Have some decency.”

His uncle rubs the palms of his hands into his eyes before carding them through his graying hair.

“I’ve watched you dance around each other since you were fifteen! Especially you, Suna!” he complains then repeats, “Fifteen! I didn’t let you have an ice-cream buffet for it to turn out like this!”

“We weren’t doing anything–”

“Rintarou.” 

The serious tone his uncle took on made stops Suna mid-sentence. “She visited Aichi the last three years that you haven’t. She says it’s not to see you but she always asks how you’ve been doing.”

The information stuns Suna. You went back to Aichi? Why didn’t you say anything– oh. He changed his number. Well, why didn’t his uncle say anything?

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he inquires.

“She told me not to tell you, says she didn’t want to bother you and that ‘it’s weird.’ You kids and your social taboos. Still, I promised and I don’t break my promises.” He jabs Suna on the chest and adds, “You better not too!”

“It’s why I don’t make promises,” Suna mumbles and swats his uncle’s hand away. “Anyways, there’s nothing to say–”

His uncle lets out a loud, garbled cry of random sounds. “Your grandmother didn’t give her tickets away for you to chicken out! Your parents raised you better than this!”

“I can’t believe even grandma is in on this…”

Strong hands clasp him on the shoulders and Suna is forced to look his uncle in the eye.

“Go and talk to her. Properly. Like an adult.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

knock knock

  ‘Talk to her or I’ll tell grandma about the things you post on your Instagruel, Instrument– whatever it’s called!’

  Suna sighs as he wonders why he never saw his uncle as the extortionist that he is. The man quite literally made him promise, with linked pinkies and all, to go talk to you before the night is over. 

Suna doesn’t make promises but he keeps those that he does.

It’s not that he doesn’t want to talk to you. But what is there to say? Things weren’t exactly… clear , the last you and him spoke and saw each other, for that matter. He kissed you, you kissed back, and then poof. In modern dating terms, it’s safe to say that you mutually ghosted each other out of sheer– he doesn’t know what on your end– but definitely young stupidity on his.

“Rin? It’s getting late, what are you doing here?” You blink at him, surprise plain on your face at the unexpected guest.

Suna almost smiles at the nickname. It’s been a while since he heard you address him by that. At all, really. 

He takes in your appearance, notes your fingers tugging at the hem of your shirt and the drumming of the other on the doorknob. Have you been as restless as he was this entire evening?

“I was wondering if you’d like to go for a walk with me?” Suna winces at his unnatural politeness. It’s you; he’s never this polite with you, not even when you were a customer. It’s bizarre.

There’s a brief moment of hesitance, unconscious, in the way you took a small step back before you’re nodding and asking him to wait whilst you went back inside your hotel room to change.

The winter air is crisp, wind tunneling between the buildings whipping at your figures as Suna leads you around aimlessly. Truth be told, he had no idea where to go or what to say. 

“How have you been?” You break the ice. 

Right, that’s a good place to start. 

“I’ve been good. You?”

“I’ve been good too.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“Yeah.”

Suna wishes a truck will run off the curb and hit him now. His fingers are freezing off in his pockets and somehow they’re still sweating. 

This is absolutely terrible.

A ray of hope cuts the grey path ahead, and Suna manages to peel his eyes away from his shoes to gaze upon his salvation–

Oh. It’s an ice-cream shop. 

The irony isn’t lost on him. You don’t miss it either, for you peek up at him shyly, scratching at your cold cheeks, and ask, “Do you want to get any? For old time’s sake.”

When he nods, you turn and lead the way, grabbing the handle and missing how Suna stops following you just shy of the shop’s awning. He prefers to quickly rip the bandaid off.

“What happened?” 

“Huh?” You look over your shoulder, confused. “What do you mean?”

Suna buries his face into his scarf as if to hide the burning ridge of his nose. “That night�� you kissed back,” he mumbles. He has to force himself to look back at you, to discern and verify the rapid changes in your expression as you look for an answer. 

Surprise, self-consciousness, bashfulness, nervousness, nostalgia–

“I–,” you clear your throat, the shop light shining like a beacon on your blushing skin, “I did.”

“Why did you kiss me back?” he addresses the giant, tri-colored elephant that has been slumbering in the back of his mind for years.

You sputter. “Why are you asking this all of a sudden? It was so long ago.”

“Tell me.” Suna persists, taking a step forward with narrowed eyes, pushing for a reason, an excuse, to justify the cloudy feelings he has been harboring for all these years and now jostled up by your unannounced appearance in his life again. 

He’s not mad, he doesn’t not want you here, but the lack of closure for his young feelings, your reaction, and the lack of events that followed all those years ago isn’t pleasant. It leaves a muddy clog in his chest and quite frankly, he dislikes it. There was so much left unsaid and unexplained; perhaps he should have let it go and Suna thought he did. Until he saw you again.

And Suna knows, he just knows, that you feel the same way as he did.

Why else would you come see him play? Why else would you go back to Aichi the last couple of years?

Why did you two simply drift apart?

He’s so close to you now that he can see the perspiration beading on you, feel your warmth radiating and seeping into the folds of his clothes. You refuse to meet his eyes, looking here and there and everywhere but him right before you. Similarly, his heart is beating so loud that he’s sure you can hear it.

“Tell me.”

“Because I liked you! Okay?!” You finally cave, admitting with eyes squeezed tight. It reminds Suna of how he too kept his eyes closed as if his life depended on it when he first kissed you.

“Then why didn’t you say anything!? Why did you stop responding?”

“Don’t try and pin it on me. You didn’t contact me any further!”

“Neither did you!”

“Well, you changed your number and didn’t tell me!”

“That’s because I thought we’re no longer speaking with each other!”

You’re both breathing fast, hearts and emotions rising, and Suna glimpses the shop staff staring in concern through the glass. He deflates with a sigh and steps back before the staff misunderstands the situation and calls the police.

The streets of Tokyo are rarely silent yet somehow, this little area in the big city is exactly that. There’s only the sound of distant cars humming like waves on distant shores, and the muted chatter of people buzzing like summer cicadas; it reminds Suna of the times he went on late night walks with you along the beaches of his hometown.

You slap your hands over your face. “Oh my god…”

He snorts and laughs in turn at the incredulous conversation that took place. It doesn’t take long for you to peek through your fingers and join as well, chortling in disbelief.

“We were fucking dumb ,” he states.

“In our defense, we were young.” 

“Still dumb.”

“Yeah, we were.”

An embarrassing silence follows as you stare at each other. Sunca can see the gears in your head churning, processing the revelation that the two of you had been, well, dumbasses for years. He can empathize, for his brain hurtles through the same process.

You break eye contact and look down at your shoes, scuffing them against concrete. “I guess there’s also another reason why I was hesitant to contact you after,” you begin mumbling, and Suna reflexively curls his hands into fists within the confines of his pockets.

“Yeah? Besides being a teenager incapable of communication?”

“It’s a better reason than that!” you pout furiously, head sinking into your scarf. “I was going abroad. I have been abroad, the last few years. College.

Suna whistles, sincerely impressed. “Nice. Where at?”

“Irrelevant. I’ll tell you later,” you brush off his question to continue your explanation– reasoning– to why you stopped contacting him. 

Suna watches intently as you take a deep breath, idly noting how the ice-cream store staff are still staring at your figures with too much curiosity and intensity, the shop door failing to completely mute his conversation with you, bits and pieces filtering through the little vents at its foot. 

One male staff even holds a cone in his hand, watching the scene unfold as if this were a movie. The man takes a long lick, eyes all the while glued on your figures.

“That night when you– we, well, you know–” you stumble over your words and Suna finds not much has changed; you were still as bad at communicating your feelings as you were at seventeen. You clear your throat of the clogging shyness, “At that time I already knew I was leaving Japan as soon as I graduated. I planned to tell you but then you–”

“I kissed you,” he supplies plainly.

“Yes. And, well, there didn’t seem to be a good moment to tell you after that,” you finish softly. Regret isn’t the right word to describe your feelings in this moment, reflecting back on that summer night and the next four years without closure. You do not regret ever following your aspirations abroad, especially not over a boy in your youth. You weren’t that dumb. However, you admit that you could have handled it better, communicated it, talked with him– “I should have handled it better.” 

“Yeah, you should have.”

A disbelieving gasp leaves you, head whipping up angrily to tell Suna off but the teasing grin that greets you has your anger easily deflating. 

Suna understands. He really does, because he would have done the same thing in your position. Had he known you were going to leave the country, would he still have kissed you? Probably, only because his body moved on its own that night. Though it doesn't mean he forgot the flutters, the want, whenever he was with you back then. It’s not too far off from what he’s feeling in the present; it’s dimmer, but it has grown, matured with him in age. He’s no longer as jittery and blinded by white shores.

He’s grown. You’ve grown.

“I should have done better too.”

A cloak that has long rested on the depths of his heart– of gray clouds and why’s, unnamed yet felt, ignored but not forgotten, existing as surely as he does breathes– lifts the moment he utters these words. He feels revivified– released, of this midsummer memory that has crawled into his mind countless times in the minutes before sleep takes him (his brain has a penchant of replaying it for him unbidden at 2am). Suna shudders to think that had his family not invited you to his match, he and you would have continued on with your lives carrying overcast hearts caused by something as silly as simply being teenagers still learning and growing.

Judging by the smile dimpling your cheeks, Suna knew you felt the same.

He nods at the shop door behind you. “We should probably go inside. That is…if you still want to?”

Your answer comes in a shy smile burrowing into clothes and a blast of hot air that his chilled body welcomes. The shop bell chimes and you are both transported to past summers and the first time you met in a wave of nostalgia. 

Suna hasn’t gone to an ice-cream shop since the last time he worked for his uncle, having subconsciously avoided them in the shadow of his volleyball career as an excuse; your love for ice-cream shops developed because of many days spent at one with a special boy, and many more visited over the years in reminiscence and perhaps regret.

“There’s a buy one free one scoop deal for couples.” The male staff, the audacious one from before, announces when you reach the counter.

“Oh, we’re not–” you begin but Suna nudges you sneakily.

“Pick whatever flavor you want, honey. My treat.”

You had been his first love at first sight. And likely, you are the last.

Because Suna thinks that people who fall head over heels for someone at first glance are fools. Love is something that is grown into, to be slowly nurtured with time and dedication. To his logic-based brain, the entire idea of smashing head first into love at a glance is ludicrous, like a bad car crash where you never see it coming until it's too late. 

He knows because he’s experienced it. Both the unexplainable, ridiculous butterflies sprouting into existence the moment you stepped through the door and into his life, and the subsequent 7 years it took to nurture it.

There was no car crash however, only teen folly and human imperfection.

You glance up at him with a cheeky grin as you answer, sing-song and all-knowing.

“I’ll have a rainbow sherbet.”

“Yuck.”

“It’s a good flavor!!”

An expression you’re not sure you have ever seen Suna make before lights his face for but a transient second. It’s one of those laughter-smiles, all teeth with wide lips and wrinkles accompanied by tuneful joy. Suna knows it too because the muscles pulling at his cheeks are unfamiliar, straining wider than he usually lets them in his side smirks. 

“In that case, two rainbow sherbets please,” he tells the staff. He can feel your gaze pressing onto the side of his face with a question unspoken, and this is when Suna brings out his infamous smirk. 

He takes both cones and turns to you with green, pink, and orange in the palms of his hands. A trifecta of colors.

They say that everyone becomes a believer of love at first sight when it happens to them. Well, Suna rightly doesn’t know.

All he knows is that, instead of purple lightning striking, there was only a void filled with empty white shores whenever he saw you; it didn’t matter how many times or how long in between. All Suna knows is that the world fades away in the presence of you.

As he hands you your cone, Suna sees colors dyeing the white shores below his feet once more.

And Suna knows he will do it right this time.

[mike----wazowski]

i completely forgot i had something for sunday six last week lmao but i'll just post it today @four-white-trees @overdevelopedglasses @skysquid22 @passthroughtime @woundedheartwithin i've also seen @jichanxo being tagged in others so i thought i might add- hope that's ok!! 🫡🫡

this has been sitting in my drafts for ages and is a really old snippet. rikiya content was the first writing i did for yakuza 😔✊️

***

"Riona, what are you doing out here? I asked you to get me your dirty laundry."

Kiryu's scolding seemed to go over Riona's head. She had her hands on her hips, and was striking a pose. "I'm practising my runway walk, Uncle Kaz. I'll need it for when I'm a supermodel!"

Kiryu sighed. "A supermodel."

"Yeah!"

"I thought you wanted to be a fashion designer?"

"Changed my mind!"

"Right. Well, maybe practice being a supermodel after you've given me your laundry," Kiryu said, with as much patience as a father-of-nine could muster. "You won't get on the runway with dirty clothes, will you?"

"What's this about bein' a supermodel?" A bright voice rang out. Haruka beamed as Rikiya approached the gates of Morning Glory, Mikio in tow. The moment they heard him (Rikiya could be heard from Downtown Ryukyu), the other kids emerged from the house, and Taichi came running to wrestle him, as was his signature greeting.

"Riona's practising her walk for the runway," Haruka chirped, as Rikiya was almost knocked off his feet. "She wants to be a catwalk model one day."

"Ohh, right, of course- Riona's our little fashionista!" Trying (and failing) to fend Taichi off, Rikiya called, "Let's see that walk, then, Riona!"

"Okay!"

Kiryu cleared his throat as Riona readied herself. "What about your laundry?"

Riona paid him no heed, starting up her attempt at a runway walk. She looked rather like a wobbly duckling taking its first steps, but Rikiya and Mikio cheered with the enthusiasm of a stadium crowd.

"Wow! You're gonna be at all the big shows!" Mikio said, and Rikiya yelped in agreement, unable to say more with Taichi trying to drag him down.

"Thanks! I keep asking Uncle Kaz to get me a pair of heels so I can practice properly, but he always says no," Riona said.

"Aniki- just doesn't- understand the lifestyle," Rikiya wheezed. Fortunately for him, Taichi had now switched targets to Mikio. "He's an unfashionable old man, y'know?"

"She's too young to wear heels," Kiryu intoned. "Plus, you're pretty far from the supermodel lifestyle yourself, Rikiya."

"Whaaa-" Rikiya let out a theatrical gasp, wheeling around to face Haruka. "Haruka-chan, did ya hear what he just said?"

"I did," Haruka giggled.

"Am I wrong?" Kiryu asked, voice dust-dry. "Anyway, we've had our fun- laundry now, Riona, and if you two are here you can help me with the-"

"Nope, nope, nope. I ain't lettin' this stand!" Rikiya interrupted, pushing his chest out. "I'm gonna show you how I strut my stuff, Aniki!"

"... what."

"I'm gonna do a runway walk that makes you go gaga!"

Taichi finally let up on his assault, dropping off of Mikio's back. "Isn't that for girls, Uncle Rikiya?"

"Don't say that like it's a bad thing!" Ayako scolded him.

"Both girls and guys both do modelling," Mikio told him. "I dunno if Rikiya fits the part, though. You gotta be good looking to be a model."

"Hey, go to hell!" Rikiya protested. "I'll show ya both what I can do!"

Though Kiryu looked like he wanted to protest, the prospect of seeing Rikiya make a fool of himself was enticing. And now Rikiya had his audience, he probably would go ignored anyway.

"Gotta have a good starting point..." Rikiya jogged over to the gates of Morning Glory. "You watch this!"

"Oh, I'm watching," Kiryu sighed.

Rikiya took long, flying strides, head angled so he was gazing dramatically into the distance. He wiggled his hips in a way that shouldn't have been anatomically possible. The kids shrieked with laughter, and Kiryu shook his head in disbelief.

"I'm gonna show you my passion... I'm gonna show you my fire..." He seemed to be going above and beyond a regular catwalk, adding off-key singing to the mix.

"Are you a model or an idol?" Kiryu asked.

"Both, aniki! I'm a triple threat! Singin', dancin', and killin' with good looks!" He turned to the kids. "Wanna join in?"

Izumi and Riona jumped at the chance, running to join him on his little stage. It took a moment of bravery, but Mitsuo followed. Never one to be upstaged, Taichi jumped in next, and soon all of them but Haruka were following Rikiya's makeshift choreography.

"I guess I'm never getting that laundry," Kiryu sighed, but he was smiling so openly Haruka couldn't take him seriously. "Not feeling like a supermodel, Haruka? Or dancer- whatever he thinks he's doing."

"Come on, Haruka-chan! Gotta show your oji-san what's what!" Rikiya called. "I'll have your heart inside of my hand-"

"'Cause I am the queen, oh queen of the passion!" Haruka jumped in, and Kiryu let out a genuine laugh, loud and strong.

It was just like Rikiya to turn a quiet night into one where everyone danced.

So of all the things wrong with his body- the bullet wounds, the blood, the empty eyes- the stillness was the worst part.

[zeldamomoe]

Let's do a little bit of a Flashback Friday, shall we? Some of you might remember me as "that Lana cosplayer" from Hyrule Warriors! Back in 2014 before the game even came out in Japan, I swiftly created this costume as my "comeback to cosplay" after a few years hiatus to focus on paying my way through college. It really opened my eyes to how mainstream cosplay was becoming at that time, because of my first photoshoot with PialVisions getting viral thanks to ZeldaInformer sharing it everywhere. Unfortunately, the racists came out of the woodwork like it was their job and ridiculed my skin tone. The ones that stood out to me the most were:

the person who tagged their friend and said "your Arab cousin ruined Lana for me"

and the person who asked if I was Hispanic (in Spanish, mind you), and I said no I'm Lebanese from America, and he said "well your skin should me milk white" again, in Spanish lmao fuck you 😂

I was really sad about all of it that I almost decided not to continue cosplaying. Seeing all that hate after such a long hiatus was difficult (and I wasn't even very good at cosplay or photo editing yet, I just was the first Lana, so it made WAVES 🙈). But I made so many new friends thanks to me getting viral like CinnamonNeutrality (Cee), ChibiTifa, LayzeMichelle, just to name a few. I'm sure I would've ran into Cee eventually since we went to the same GTA cons, but you never know! Nowadays, I stay humble and thankful for the opportunities Lana gave me. I took her to Fan Expo 2014, and shot with Herbiecide there. We took some gorgeous photos on the roof, and I'll remember fondly that we ran into a trio of Perfume cosplayers. Because I hadn't been to Fan Expo since 2009 at that point, and it was my first big con since then, I was so excited seeing Perfume cosplayers XD I was a big fan of them in high school and college. I posted some of his photos of my Lana cosplay on Tumblr actually and got viral again! I do remember that was a good viral though, not much harassment came from that, and if it did, I forgot all about it. My username used to be SMZeldaRules, so it was on that Tumblr, which has long been deactivated. In 2015, I made her staff and brought her to Pax East. And in 2017, I had one final photoshoot with Z is Eternal. I then ended up giving it to my friend Ayla at Antipode Geek Bellydance. It's 2023 now, and big companies and websites STILL don't moderate their comment sections well at all (looking at you Square Enix when you shared my Rachel Amber cosplay in 2020 and people were acting a fool lmao). We gotta stand up for all marginalized groups in cosplay! Keep making your stuff and have fun! FUCK RACISM 😤😤😤

photos: Pial Visions, Herbiecide, Z is Eternal & edits by me

[autisticlalna]

yeah milkman had on a cat maid skin for like 5 seconds but took it off so fool couldn't kill him to save the head lmao

LMAO. catmaid milkman will never be preserved for eternity

..actually, didnt the milkman tag winners get all of milkman's heads. would that include any skins post-tag if he hasnt distributed them yet. do leon and the other one i forgot who it is. vintage??? get catmaid milkman's skull

[dick-faulkner]

hello i am going to put the tags i have on this fuckass pinned post and maybe other things such as. idk i got my boop badges back nothing else matters to me

current spam reblogging record: 45

times hit post limit: 4

#eyestrain -> for filtering purposes but be warned i might miss something because it only hurts my eyes when it's *really* saturated/bright/whatever and if it doesn't hurt my eyes i don't always notice that it's eyestrain (i try though, but consider yourself warned)

#flashing -> for filtering purposes but I might miss something occasionally so be warned

#it speaks -> anything where i say something not in the tags

#vault -> stuff that i'm saving for later

#board -> different flavor of stuff that i'm saving for later

#keep -> my personal collection of posts that i like a lot

#watchable -> my personal collections of posts that are mainly video shaped that i like a lot (i've suffered for too long scrolling through billions of text posts to find one video okay this ain't my first rodeo)

#the sacred texts -> omg!1!!1! i've only seen this post in screenshots!!1!1!!!11!

#me core -> self explanatory

#scavenger -> freaky little scavenger, "i like to play and draw"

#boop -> april fools & halloween 2024

#bojack horseman -> 🐴 how hungry

#ddlc -> doki doki literature club

#disco elysium -> you know, the videogame

#dn -> death note

#dungeon meshi -> chucklefuck & co. cooking show or whatever

#gravity falls -> i was gonna tag it as gf but like lmao

#hannibal -> mmmmm im so hungry

#hatchetfield -> i forgot there were three musicals so now this is the tag for everything hatchetfield that isn't npmd

#house md -> patron saint of medical malpractice

#hunger games

#isttg -> i saw the tv glow

#iwatex -> i was a teenage exocolonist

#iwtv -> interview with the vampire

#ks -> ..................killing stalking

#lisa frankenstein

#npmd -> starkid nerdy prudes must die

#scream 1996 -> yaoi 🥰😇

#spn -> supernatural

#tma -> the magnus archives is a podcast distributed by rusty quill and licensed un-

#tsv -> the silt verses

[lllostgirlll]

Alright. Here we go. I feel silly posting this. It’s my first ever fanfic. based off of a dream i had. if this goes well i’ll work on/post my other one.

Aethelwold x Reader

(could be read as platonic or romantic)

I could feel it coming fast, my chest tightened, my breathing quickened, my hands became clammy. The room was becoming smaller with each step I took towards the door, threatening to squeeze the breath from my lungs. ‘You’re safe. You’re fine. There is no immediate danger. Danger. Danger. DANGER.’ I tried to focus on something, anything. I hadn’t even realized that I had made it outside until a frigid breeze hit my face. I curled up against a wall in the courtyard, silently praying that no one could see nor hear the ragged breaths that escaped my throat. “Y/n?” Someone called out to me. “Y/n? Can you hear me?” It sounded so far away I could barely make it out. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying but failing to stop the tears from pouring over my cheeks. I nodded slightly. Would this person even be able to tell that I nodded? Was it indistinguishable from the convulsions that took over my body? Oh God, I’m so embarrassed I look like a fool I- “Y/n please, try to open your eyes. You’re safe here.” A small noise as they shifted, a shadow blocking out the glare of the sun. I still couldn’t breathe, but I pried my eyes open to see who was wasting their time with someone like me… Aethelwold? “Can you hear me?” He repeated. I nodded again, shaking slightly but not as bad as before. What was he doing? Why is he crouched in front of me, looking genuinely concerned? “Y/n I need you to focus. That’s it. Can I touch you?” I nodded a third time. What am I thinking? I felt his hand gently come to rest on my back. It was so warm, so…kind. I could feel my breathing ever so slightly slow down. All I could do was stare at him, dozens of new thoughts flooding my head. ‘What is he doing? Why isn’t he at a brothel? Or drunk and stumbling around the streets of Wessex? Why isn’t he off pestering Uhtred or King Alfred? Have his eyes always been that bright? Has he always been this pleasant to look at?’ “Are you coming back to me now? Can you name me three things you see? Focus Y/n.” He gently prodded. “I-l s-see the f-flowers.” My voice came out soft but scratchy. He gestured for me to continue. “And the pillars, And-“ I felt his hand rub soothing circles on my back, “And Y-you.” I gulped. “Good Y/n! Very good!” He smiled. It was different. It wasn’t a smirk, or the expression he often wore after pestering everyone around him until they snapped. No. It was a smile. As I looked up at him, almost catatonic, the sun seemed to dim around him. I felt my face heat up. “I know I’m the most attractive man in Wessex, but staring is rude Y/n.” There was that smart-ass comment I was waiting for, accompanied by a childish grin. “Can you stand?” He asked. “I think so.” I murmured softly, trying to put together what led me to this point. He gripped my hands tightly, but no less gently and pulled me to my feet. I swayed slightly, tripping over my own feet. I felt his hands fall to my waist to steady me. I looked at our feet. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. I was too embarrassed, but no longer panicked. I couldn’t even remember why I panicked. “Y/n? Y/n?” Aethelwold tried to get me to look at him but I couldn’t. A second later I felt his hand under my chin, pulling my gaze to meet his. “All better?” “…Yes.” “Good!” He let go, slapping me on the back. “Because you are going to buy us some ale!” He started briskly walking away. I stood there, dumbfounded. “Well? Don’t just stand there! I may very well have just saved your life! You owe me!” okay…how bad was it lmao? i’m just tagging y’all for fun, don’t feel obligated to re-blog or anything @errruvande @solinarimoon @pupzbitez @justasightseer @morosemagick @persephones-journey @silentsihtric @kingslionheart there’s probably more, if i forgot you just let me know 😊❤️

[criminal-sen]

Tagged by @bleachbleachbleach and @mayuris-basement-dweller; took me a while but I finally did it! Also I made it a rainbow cuz I am extra af (solid line is definite YES, dotted line has stipulations)

Yah I was on ff.net but before that, my first fic account was adultfanfiction.net. Think early 2000s lol

I love AO3 so much and am so glad I have an account; it is vastly superior to the other sites I've used and I think a lot of ppl take it for granted

smut/dark fic is all I write:)

Yes I've beta-read quite a bit! If you ever want me to beta-read a fic, just hit me up, I love doing it

That being said, absolutely ZERO of my fics have been beta-read. I am obsessive with my editing (still make mistakes) plus I don't wanna plot spoil for ppl

Fool's Gold was the most overtly self-indulgent but they all are to some degree. I'm not out here posting smut that I don't personally enjoy lmao

Yessss I rarely write fluff so it's refreshing to read sometimes

All my fic is gay because I'm gay

EEEEEE THAT IS A LOADED QUESTION, yes I think ff is just as valid as original fic! Genre is usually defined by the tone and actual content of a story though??? Like okay it contains blorbo but is it drama? romance? horror? See what I mean?

Yes but I usually just do one fandom at a time

dotted line bc I research during the fic, not before

another dotted; technically yes, I love having an outline with chapter summaries! That being said, I'm not using one right now

Yes:)

@seeveekat made me a wonderful art for Imperfect and I love it so so much<3<3<3 (also. not a fanart but @thefearfulheart gifted me a fic of my AFK blorbos which I frequently reread and cherish<3)

Girl (gender neutral) they are ALL unfinished. Aiming to correct that with Imperfect though and I am working SO hard on it

I get ideas at all hours of the day, night included

Any fic written before Sept 7th 2019 was written drunk and/or high:)

COFFEE

Kinda wish Fool's Gold (18 plus plz!!!!!) got more attention here on tumblr but I get it, we're not all trans masc Mayuri fans:/

Okay cool, phew I'm done now. Blank template below if anyone else wants to do it:3

EDIT OMG I FORGOT. TO PUT THE TEMPLATE. here u go jfc

[flowofexistence]

Hello folks, been forever.

So, what's up with that?

Well, three things.

I actually, y'know, finished up my education and got a job. Woohoo! (I guess that "I'll try to be consistent but school sucks" that I had in this Blog's Description isn't quite true anymore)

A general desire to work on my art a bit, y'know, develop my art style a bit, experiment, stuff like that. (Spoilers: It didn't go THAT far.)

WE HAVE A WEBSITE NOW BABY!

THAT'S RIGHT!

FLOW OF EXISTENCE IS NOW AVAILABLE, ON ITS OWN WEBSITE! MADE WITH LOVE, DUCT TAPE, AND BASIC HTML/CSS/JS KNOWLEDGE!

Oh, you're still reading?

Well alright, I guess I do owe answers to a few other questions.

Q: Why?

A: Well, other than it being something I...kinda wanted from the very beginning- As much as I love Tumblr, and as much as I am gonna shoot myself in the foot by being able to reach as many people through tags or whatnot. I wanted to have more freedom in customizing everything! I now have the ability to give each act a custom theme, or multiple themes depending on its current setting! You can now swap through pages with the arrow keys! You can save your place in the comic with the help of cookies! Generally, making the switch allowed me to have a lot more fun with things, and it's finally possible due to me actually making enough money so that I can AFFORD IT!

Q: Well, what about this blog?

A: Don't you worry your sweet little head, I will still be using it, so don't unfollow just yet! I'll probably just use it as a place to post about updates to the comic, urging y'all to go read it on the new website. Or maybe I am now able to use it for even more, like, showcasing fanart or something, if that ever should happen, haha.

Q: What's next?

A: Well HOPEFULLY, more consistent updates, the thing is, I've just switched from being busy with school, to being busy with work. But I will make time when I can, trust me!

Q: Is this an April Fool's Joke?

A: lmao no

Q: Didn't you make this Website in October 2023? Why are we only NOW hearing of it?

A: Uhhh, well you see, I wrote a whole post about it on the Discord Server (shameless plug), which has pretty much the same things in it as this post. I then WANTED to make a post on Tumblr...and forgot about it.

Q: New Pages when?

A: Today.

[katrinawritesthings]

What are some of your favourite fics you've written?

you sent this after my bedtime lol happy Monday

But also uwu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A very kind question thank you

For the big ones. Biker au obviously. I really like Fucktown Academy!!!! Beach babes my beloved..... And I know I say I didn't write 54k words of smut to not shill for it a lot but I genuinely do really like love is so nice lol it's very soft and cute

And then for oneshots.

sk8 d8 is really fun and nostalgic for me : )

Bridging parallels makes me feel the emotion of yearning

hoohoohoo and absolutely apeshit buckwild feral and hey. Hey because I deserve being little a horny as a treat

make a wish is just full of absolutely incomprehensible queer bullshit and I like that and also the idea of a wish farm is soooooo.... I like it : )

ABC for personal reasons lol I'm still out here counting everything every day

none pizza with left boob because it's just really cute and funny and soft. Why would you not have a favorite boob

the fossils have a better chance of coming to life than their relationship does bc listen. Sometimes they can't fucking stand each other and that's hot and also I like fossils

idk lmao do we not all deserve aroace jongtae being snuggle buddies

Dangarang do we not all deserve!!!! Taemin in thigh highs and Junghee making him blush about it!!!!!!

uwu uwu

James I just think this one is really funny lol

Fry Guy same for this one and also he's right about all of his fry opinions

Volunteer Work gq wristwatch Jonghyun save me..... Save me GQ wristwatch Jonghyun..... Also taemplants: )

Dabbing peak onho

drunk and smol I just think Jonghyun is really cute and bubbly and I like him a lot : )))))

ive fooled u all this whole time my tru otp is jonghoodie it's just like it's right there in the title what else do you want from me

very important questions honestly this one I think is peak me core. onjongtae poly shenanigans. embarrassing teen bullshit. soft giddy makeouts. funny.

that’s retail baby this one is also peak me core if I think about it but just in a different way. One day I will write a 2min that isn't a joke

yeah I completely forgot about this one honestly until I was going through my blog looking for fics and I literally said out loud "oh yeah this one kicks ass!!!!!!!!"

Also literally everything in my fantasy tag please I am begging you

I originally had almost every single one of these open in separate tabs while I was looking through my fics for this post please I love writing fantasy stories and thinking about them and living in the little magical worlds and they hardly ever get notes or attention please they are so fun!!!!!! There are so many of them with so many pairings and genres!!!!! There's zombies and magic and fairies and devils and angst and feelings and fluff and action and comedy!!!!!! please just read them and reblog one for me!!!!!! aaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anygay yeah those are some of my favorites : )

[cielsosinfel]

I just logged into my DW for the first time since July and saw I had a draft version of another reading log, with books I completely forgot about reading lmao. lmao.

cw for some mentions of SA/CSA for the last two books.

I'll jot some quick thoughts (and one actually written out bit of the draft about Amanat):

Amanat: Women's Writing from Kazakhstan, translated and edited by Zaure Batayeva and Shelley Fairweather-Vega: This is the first anthology of Kazakh women's literature available in English, and for many of the stories it's the first time they've been published in translation (all originally written in Russian or Kazakh.) It was very interesting! I liked a lot of the stories, though I felt the quality of translation greatly deferred throughout the book... A lot of the stories have a heavy focus on the anxieties of post-Soviety society, the disconnect on a generational and an individual level of pre-, during-, and post-Soviet Kazakhstan culture and society. it made me desperately wish more writing from this literary tradition were available to read in English. One entry in particular, an excerpt from the longer novel The Nanny, made me want to read the novel in full so badly! But this is all that's available...

Stories I particularly enjoyed: Aslan's Bride by Nadezhda Chernova, tl Fairweather-Vega Hunger (excerpt from The Nanny) by Aigul Kemelbayeva, tl Batayeva Propiska by Raushan Baiguzhayeva, tl Fairweather-Vega The Beskempir by Zira Naurzbayeva, tl Fairweather-Vega The Rival by Zira Naurzbayrva, tl Fairweather-Vega Black Snow of December by Asel Omar, tl Fairweather-Vega

The Queer Games Avant-garde: How LGBTQ Game Makers Are Reimagining the Medium of Video Games, edited by Bo Ruberg*: To be honest, almost every game and game developer in this was someone I was unfamiliar with. But I appreciated reading Aevee Bee's interview a lot, her view on "representation" and putting one's own experiences and identities into their work resonated. Robert Yang also had an interesting interview; those are the only two developers whose games I'd actually played before reading lol.

I actually posted a few excerpts that stood out to me here on my sideblog: https://laciere.tumblr.com/tagged/bo%20ruberg

Wanting: Women Writing About Desire: This is an anthology from many different women of many different backgrounds, writing about their relationship to sex and actively desiring sex. I REALLY LIKED THIS. I don't feel I can go into it now, it's been too many months. There are a lot of good pieces about desire after sexual violation, or even desire in the midst of sexual violence. It has one of the most honest and brutally powerful pieces about CSA and the suffering wrought by traumatic bonding that I have read. There's also a piece about a butch lesbian struggling with butchness and what she's allowed to desire, that spoke to me.

And there were more I liked a lot! it was a library book I should borrow again, probably.

How to Cook your Daughter: A Memoir by Jessica Hendra: This is a memoir about the author being sexually abused by her father, who was a major celebrity and a very abusive, very unwell man, and confronting him about it in adulthood. I found this incredibly cathartic to read. I want to buy my own copy eventually.

CW for the aforementioned topics but this passage in particular was deeply affecting to read, for me:

[the-art-in-arthesia-is-loud]

what the character tags reference

h. HI.

so the ocs in the rg-verse have their own tags obviously, but their tags are also accompanied by a quote/sentence. i wanted to explain what they mean/reference so yeah!!!! under the cut as always lel

also i mentioned spoilers for final verdict and silent answer (specifically one last dream), the two parts of arcaea's main story, in this post. proceed with caution

———

1. "don't let him go" (ars):

this.....actually has smth to do with lore. i haven't explained much abt ars lore yet. not even in his trivia post, so i'll save the explanation for later~

2. "this is just a dream" (lucas):

it's a part in lucid traveler!

3. "another me" (ana):

the name of the song ana is based off of; another me by d_aan!!!

4. "where are you? please don't be dead." (galactic):

it has smth to do with galactic (and spinel)'s backstory. this quote was said months after spinel's disappearance.

5. "i don't give a f***" (destonio):

references a part in destruction 3, 2, 1.

6. "our fates are distorted" (fate):

references the name of the song fate is based off of; distorted fate by sakuzyo!

7. "to the furthest dream" (felicia):

song name for the song that felicia is based off of!

8. "darkest night i'll confront you here" (tessi/the testifier):

the first lyrics of testify.

9. "what an agonizingly long journey it has been" (abstruse):

initially, it references a tweet the official arcaea twitter/x acc made. now it's known as a quote from the severed eden story.

10. "this is all my fault" (trojan):

it has smth to do with the story. not gonna spoil that~

11. "money can't buy happiness (but creating things can" (logos):

uh.....the first part references her bio. the second part however......is pretty much outdated. i'll give her a new, updated tag soon. but not now. BECAUAE I'M LAZY AYGHHFHF

12. "a special kind of texture" (primeval texture):

references a quote in the primeval-lore-focused comic i posted awhile back!

13. "i exist" (ego eimi):

""Ego eimi" (ἐγώ εἰμι) in Ancient Greek means "I am" or "I exist". The phrase has Christian theological significance due to its usage in the Gospel of John, where Jesus uses the phrase to assert his presence and divinity" — thing from arcaea wiki

14. "like an ice cube" (technicolour):

references technicolour's weapon (bc nearly everyone here has their own weapons honestly); a small looking cube. Don't Be Fooled By It's Appearance, However.

15. "to the new dream" (dahlia):

supposed to reference felicia's tag, ig?? lmao

16. "the embodiment of chaos and destruction herself" (arghena):

this has smth to do with lore, so i can't say it here. it Is pretty odd how she gets a title like this and not destonio, who is literally the god of destruction here....hmmmmmmmmm

17. "it's not your fault. don't blame it on yourself. please." (tempo):

connected to trojan's tag, which is why i can't say the reasoning here~

18. "authentication: successful" (shifta):

references a part in temporal shifting.

19. "i heard the world is collapsing" (callima karma):

kind of a reference to a lyric in the og song, but bc i forgot what it was for some reason, i might be super wrong for some reason. obviously i remember the part where "arcaea" was mentioned, and since this is Not arcaea, i had to change that lel.

20. "the one who got away" (spinel):

you thought that tag is a reference to that one song? you fucking thought wrong. this has smth to do with her backstory, actually. referencing how she ran away and just went 'missing'.

21. "is it so wrong for a girl to like bugs?" (pamolia):

references a part in pupa's official mv. sort of. forgot how it originally went so i Might get this part wrong. UM. ANYWAYS.

22. "butterflies tear people apart" (pupa):

when i was going thru the comment section for pupa's official mv, i noticed a few ppl commenting that exact quote, so naturally, i had to reference it somehow :3333

23. "he was the one who bared witness to her wrath" (tempestissimo):

i think my art related to tessi, lacey, and tempestissimo already implied this enough, but this tag references how tessi fucking murdered tempest. yea. and while we're on that topic, that also references how hikari killed tairitsu in final verdict. and the way tessi gave up her goddess powers and became lacey just to bring tempest back to life is ALSO A REFERENCE TO SILENT ANSWER'S STORY SPECIFICALLY ONE LAST DREAM'S STORY. AND. AND—

24. "last (moment or eternity?)" (lacey):

references last, last | moment, and last | eternity.

25. "you are your very own light!" (hikaru):

that one phigros tip 🥹

26. "welcome to the progression express~☆" (arta):

references my very first artwork of him, actually! and also references how he's a train conductor

27. "the fireworks that bring tragedy" (lumine):

has smth to do with destonio and lumine lore. not gonna elaborate further tho. for now at least.

28. "the math expert himself" (aleph-0):

references how he's a math teacher. also, aleph-0 is a math thing, am i wrong?

29. "class memories (trauma and paranoia)" (clarith):

references her backstory (and also class memories itself ig)

30. "class memories (realist and serious)" (chase):

references his backstory (and also class memories itself ig)

OH MY GOD WE ARE AT THE END OF THE POST THANK YOU IF YOU READ IT UNTIL THIS MUCH OH MY FUCKING GOD.

[mirukimary]

First of all, thank you Tia Lin for adding the screenshots/proof!

Second of all I wanna address some stuff that wasn't clear on my original post.

-

Reshade, GShade and Gposingway cannot generate AI pictures

I forgot a lot of people made the jump from GShade straight into Gposingway and don't necessarily know how these work. That's on me for not explaining!

If you go on reshade and scroll through the endless list of effects you'll find StageDepth.fx and Layer.fx. What these shaders (effects) do is act like a basic Photoshop layer. You load a picture (.png) there, then you can do some basic editing like scaling or changing the way it interacts with the 3D render. Can be stuff like making it show up in front of your character or behind them; or stuff like setting it to multiply, or overlay, etc. Nothing dangerous, nothing AI-generated.

So what happened on these presets was:

Preset creator either generated an AI picture themselves; or grabbed an AI generated picture off the internet;

Preset creator then brought that picture to photoshop or similar and exported it as a .png;

Preset creator then imported that .png using StageDepth.fx or Layer.fx as a decoration for their preset;

Congratulations! You now have a preset with AI textures to worry about!

There is no such a thing as pressing a key somewhere on these programs and the program AI filtering your gposes without you knowing, so anyone who's scared of that you can rest now! YOU DID NOT GENERATE AI PICTURES BY USING PRESETS. You're fine!

-

This post is not a call to harass the people mentioned, nor is it a pass to harass people who use their presets

Like I said, I was using Wi Fi until very recently without knowing.

Repeat after me:

Not everyone is tech-savy;

Not everyone can spot AI;

Not everyone will see these posts or any other "call-out"/"PSA" today, tomorrow, forever;

So BE KIND and assume they don't know.

Before blocking, maybe shoot them a message. If they don't care, then you can block/unfollow!

The reason I made that post wasn't so much to 'call-out' Leon and Wi-Fi, it was because of all of the people on the tags finding this out around the same time I did, and being terrified of coming under fire because they didn't know.

Also, if people decide to keep using these presets without the AI textures, i'd like people to give them some grace (aka: don't harass them, and don't expect them to imediatelly find a solution). The textures are the only AI-generated part of them, and making the jump from your fav preset to another takes time. I was using Angelite exclusively till DT murdered it, I would know LMAO

-

Be careful out there, and be kind to yourself too

GenAI is everywhere. This is why I think warning people, even privately, is the way to go.

It's in Gposes posted online; It's on presets; It's on mods; It's on art/gpose edit commissions... And in many other places I can't even imagine.

The time you get fooled WILL COME. So be prepared to be kind to yourself when it inevitably happens.

IT HAPPENS!!

It's fine.

-

This is also your call to uplift creators who DO NOT use GenAI

Doesn't need to be on this post.

Make an habit to disclose the shaders that you use & the mods that you love!

Reblog/Retweet/Reshare gposes and edits! We have so many talented but underappreciated people in our community! Take any energy you have to harass others and turn that into strenght to show appreciation instead.

-

Originally had it on the tags, but here are some AI-free presets to quickstart your journey:

CandlePresets: This is the one I use most! Retired, but updated all of their 116 presets for DT before doing so. Perfect for a 'dreamy' effect! Linktree.

Elvashade: Another one I use sometimes, has a more 'clean'/'unedited' look. Seems to be safe! The Glamour Dresser

And here are others I found floating around that seem safe:

VanityShade's Ko-Fi

Kore's Ko-Fi (slight warning for pin-up screenshots on their shop!)

just a quick note and not directed at anyone in particular, but if i see anyone using ai or ai-adjacent face filters in their gposes thats gonna be a block from me