#i personally would never donate to a site bc i think there are much better uses of money

[goldensunset]

k tbh i get the sentiment of 'why should people donate to tumblr to keep it alive when they won't donate to the millions of mutual aid posts floating around' i really do but sometimes i wonder if people making these kinds of posts are making up a guy to get mad at. yes there are a lot of people around you excitedly showing off their badges and checkmarks and yes there are a lot of followers of yours who aren't donating to your post for any given reason but are you absolutely sure those people are the same. because i suspect they aren't tbh. and if you have proof that they are and it's that deep of a cut then just like block them so they aren't allowed to enjoy your page anymore or something tbh. unless you really think vagueblogging angrily about them is going to work. but again these sorts of people probably are not that common most of your followers would probably love to help you if they could

[ablednt]

aren’t u that blog that constantly promotes self dx and bashes professional dx? like self dx is fine but it’s a last resort for people who can’t access prof dx.

I don't bash prof dx, first off. I fully understand and respect people who needed one for any reason.

However self diagnosis should never be treated like a backup for if you can't get a prof dx and here is why:

(Disclaimer: exact details vary by country making this not fully accurate in every country also I am not saying that treatment is bad or that therapists are inherently bad I am currently trying to seek therapy but any good therapist will treat you without a diagnosis if they are aware of the legal consequences of one)

You can and likely will lose your rights for your diagnoses. It's different by country but in the US if your diagnosed with things like DID, Autism, and probs a lot more you won't be allowed to go on HRT if you're trans. You may have your children taken away if you have any, you may be prevented from donating or receiving blood or organs, if you have abusive family members they may be able to put you under a conservatorship (what happened to Britney Spears) etc.

Literally the vast majority of psychologists do not study these disorders! Do you know what they do when they prof dx? THE SAME SHIT PPL WHO SELF DX DO. The dx process is exactly the same but with a professional dx you have someone who doesn't have that thing, who has no actual first hand experiences, listening to you talk about that thing and telling you whether or not they think you have it with literally no input from the community.

By saying every one has to try to be prof dxed before they're allowed to self dx you're saying that people of color should put up with blatant racism because there's so many documented biases.

Also the criteria that therapists use to diagnose is found in the dsm5, have you read it? I have, it says that autistic people cannot take care of themselves that they're prone to self harm bc of their autism and that they should have their needs ignored it uses all the labels that autistic people ask it doesn't. It says that even if an adult fits all the criteria of ADHD that if their parents arent available to say "yeah they sucked at school and were annoying" that you shouldn't diagnose them. The criteria for personality disorders, schizophrenia, and similar are all intentionally vague and/or exclusionary to one highly stereotyped set of symptoms. They literally admitted to trying to make the criteria for DID as specific and exclusive as possible because they wanted to remove it entirely because they believed people dxed with MPD before DID was coined did not deserve treatment.

The field of psychology started historically to abuse people, they were thrown into asylums and literally beaten and subjected to horrible conditions for any presumed mental illness. This actually has not changed very much at all, even in the last century a psychiatrist was caught physically abusing his patients and using the theory he made on DID to force them to keep coming to him for therapy. Psyche wards are notorious for mistreating patients there in every aspect and I've had psyche students tell me they believe that psychologists should have the right to physically harm patients. Children professionally dxed with autism are often physically harmed at school by their teachers, physical restraint is still used and it's killed multiple autistic students.

Children and teens in abusive homes have ableist parents often who may get violent or worsen the abuse or use a dx against them legally to trap them at home. Do you give them a pass for self dx? Except here's the thing you literally don't know who's being abused and who isn't and asking ppl that is really fucked up so you should be accepting all self dx to create a welcoming and safe space for them.

Physciatrists actually misdiagnose more than people mis-self-diagnose. Which isn't a reflection on the psychiatrist as much as the fact that people know their own experiences but they very often can't explain them. An example before I met someone who had OSDD1 and would explain it to me from first hand perspective no one would have ever suspected I had a dissociative disorder and was plural Because the only words I had for my experiences were "everything before a certain date literally wasn't me idk I'm just not the same person I was" "I'm a really good writer because I talk to characters in my head all day and they respond to things even when I'm not trying to think about them and they're real to me somehow idk lol" none of that sounds like DID but I was actually describing memory gaps from switches, internal communication and presence of fictives, etc. The best guest anyone had was depression and an overactive imagination. Self dxing is literally more accurate and accessible because people can look at the community and see the disorder explained from first hand experience.

Historically (but it's still happening in some cases) therapists would literally refuse treatment to anyone who talked to other people with their diagnosis. The case I'm thinking of is people with MPD (the dx that came before DID replaced it) would be refused therapy if they spoke to anyone else with MPD outside of therapy and even forbade them from going to support groups for survivors of incestual abuse because those groups advocated for the rights of people with MPD. To this day therapists often disrespect any and all ND/mentally ill communities because we happen to know our own literal lived experiences better than them.

Oh and prof dxes are often used against people legally so if anyone is in a minority group often targeted by police that potentially puts them in even more danger if they're arrested. Least we forget there's an entire field of study dedicated to criminalizing mental illness.

This isnt even half the reasons but I'm running out of spoons (I can source most of these things but I don't have the spoons so if anyone needs a source just ask)

I'm a firm believer that the need for prof dx not be pushed on everyone when it can have permanent and negative consequences and is no better than a self dx. If someone needs a diagnosis for access to medications, for financial support, or for any other legal reason then it very well may be worth the risk but they need to have the right to understand the consequences and make that decision. Imo it's professional dxes that should be not a last resort perse but it shouldn't even remotely be your first steps, your first steps are find the community and hear their actual lived experiences bc that will be so much clearer than anything a therapist who doesn't experience that thing can explain.

Also why do you care if people self dx? Why does their not having an Official Document saying they have their disorder bother you? I think it's deeply unsettling that you think everyone in the entire world needs YOUR approval to have something.

Jsyk the sentiment that self dx is lesser than prof dx is fostered by our capitalist nt society that's benefiting off of our abuse and systematic oppression so like you're literally helping us stay oppressed with this rhetoric.

If y'all really want to be progressive and anti-capitalist like most of this site does (and should) then that goes for disability justice too. Stop helping our own communities abuse and accept that not everyone has the luxury you apparently had to never be affected by your diagnosis ever.

[joshler]

regarding my last post

tw// topics relate to suicide/suicide prevention, racism, and bullying

before i get put on blast for “being white” or whatever the replies have accused me of: no, i’m actually a queer asian poc! my dad is a chinese immigrant from hong kong and my mom is cambodian who immigrated to america from vietnam during the vietnam war. i support blm 1000% bc i feel that as a fellow minority, we are on the same team. we’ve felt oppression, in different degrees, yes, but oppression nonetheless. i wanted to clear the air in regards to myself personally because the things aimed at me in the replies of my last post were insensitive and ignorant when you do not personally know me.

i would like to say i’m more of an update page at this point for TWENTY ONE PILOTS. i’m not here to get political, but i do want to say some things in regard to yesterday’s twitter incident with tyler joseph. first of all, YIKES. the joke was distasteful and the entire “thread” on everything he made yesterday had the worse timing in the history of ever. the platform “joke” was in regards to everybody pressuring for him to say something on current events such as blm, lebanon, etc. those things are very important and i have already done many things on my part to support blm and lebanon including donations, signing petitions, and posting on my main social media accounts (i’ve really ghosted tumblr) with ways others can help. i put links to resources, petitions, and places to donate among other helpful sites. the way tyler handled things yesterday was really idiotic on his part. with that dumb joke, he could have immediately linked blm and apologized right afterwards which is what should have been done. instead, he moved on into a tangent regarding mental health and suicide awareness. i understand what he was trying to say, but in the heat of the political movement RIGHT NOW, shifting the conversation to mental health while it should have been about blm was a terrible choice on his part. even if he connected how mental health and blm tied in together, it would have been great for what he was trying to say.

WHAT HE MEANT for all of the sjws jumping on this bc “a white man is being racist and using his privilege”: september is suicide prevention month. tyler’s intensions with the platform tweet was to make fun of everyone mass tweeting him for the past few months (you cannot make people do things). he was NOT mocking blm or any political movement. that platform joke was supposed to lead into talking about mental health. for anyone who doesn’t know, tyler is a very meticulous person. there’s no doubt he’s planned talking about this stuff for a long time. the fucking band’s moto is “stay alive” so of course mental health is a huge part of twenty one pilots culture, and tyler would want to talk about it. at the same time, that doesn’t mean i’m at all excusing him for not immediately speaking on behalf of blm in yesterday’s tweets. once he saw that what he was saying was not received as he thought it would be, tyler apologized for hurting anyone and sent out the links.

this is not the first time he has talked about blm either (as seen above). his band mate (josh) and wife (jenna) have spoken on behalf of blm as well. debby ryan (josh’s wife) has been the most vocal in regards to everything going on right now. for you strangers out there to jump on here and to call him this and that is doing nothing but spreading negativity. you are wasting your own time. instead of badgering people, how about taking your business elsewhere or at least trying to educate others. do not come onto my replies just to make trouble. as fans, you can’t just say “we don’t personally know them” while you know even less than we do since you just popped in when shit hit the fan for them and they turned “problematic.” tyler did what was right at the end of the day. i am not praising him at all, but he has at least apologized and learned his lesson.

in regards to them being rich and not donating: nobody knows what they’ve done behind the scenes. i personally donated to many blm funds and to the red cross in lebanon, and nobody knows that until now! just because you donate does not mean you are obligated to publicly blast that for everybody to know. your money is going to a cause that you support, and that should only really matter to you. celebrities are no exception to that idea.

fun fact: tyler has a niece named mercy on his wife’s side! she is black and tyler and his wife are extremely close to her and her family. to come out of no where just to call him racist and all that when you in fact don’t know a thing about him besides some surface tweets is uncalled for. in regards to being silent on the crisis in lebanon, tyler is part lebanese! without a doubt, he’s donated to some sort of lebanon aid fund. but again, we will never know.

for those of you upset about the platforms: dollskill isn’t the only site that sells those boots! dollskill is certainly the most popular brand the shoes are on, but if you look them up, the platforms pop up else where as well. to blatantly say “oh he supports dollskill so he’s racist/homophobic/supports the police/all the shit that company stands for” is just as ignorant as you think he is!  dollskill as a company is complete shit. i don’t support them at all. many people think they’re from dollskill mainly because of this one instagram page that’s all about finding the exact/similar clothing to what tyler/josh/jenna/debby have worn, but we cannot be 100% sure that they were purchased from dollskill. that shit company steals from other smaller artists/designers, remember? (that same instagram account reuploaded a link to a different store who is selling them, as found here)

if you still have beef with tyler and what he said, there’s really no point in bickering just to call complete strangers “stupid” or “clowns” or just really hurtful names! you are screaming into an abyss and hurting others at the same time. there is a fine line between straight up bullying and educating others on bettering their understanding with what is currently going on. my intensions behind the post was to show that he had become active again. we are a fandom, and i like to update my page when they post new pictures. that is simply what i did. i made THIS post to clear the air on what people were saying about ME. i deleted tumblr off my phone because what was being said was just belittling and i didn’t want to see that when this whole situation with what tyler did already made me upset. feel free to dm me if you would like to talk about anything. i would be happy to discuss any points that i’ve mentioned. i would much rather have a civil conversation than be picked on through replies and anonymous messages.

at the end of the day, not everyone can always have satisfied and that’s okay. if anything, this entire situation truly opened my eyes to that. hopefully you read through this whole thing before you put anything on blast again.

here’s this, too. they do care.

summary: sorry on behalf of tyler joseph. he needs to work on reading the room better.

[sporclerhejman]

Notes on ‘Hoping this Finds You...’

Every slide in ‘Hoping this Finds You’ contains at least three clues- the ‘hoping this finds you’ tagline, the author of the note, and at least one thing in the note itself.  But many of them contain 4, 5, 6+ clues, some of which are less obvious, and which may be buried in the text, intentional spelling modifications, capitalized words, or even the choice of the background paper.  I thought it might be fun to outline where all those Easter eggs are hidden.

Slide #1: Abe Lincoln

Text Clues: ‘Appomattox Courthouse’- site of the final major battle of the Civil War, April 1865; ‘Passage of the Amendment’- a reference to the late January 1865 passage of the 13th Amendment by the House of Representatives (and a nod to the movie ‘Lincoln’); ‘I am sorry that I can’t join you in the district tonight’- Grant was originally supposed to be with Lincoln at Ford’s Theater on April 14th, but decided, instead, to travel to New Jersey to visit family; ‘Give my best to Tad and Mary’- Lincoln’s son and wife.

Hoping this finds you reference: Lincoln, a big fan of the theater, was assassinated at a showing of ‘My American Cousin’ on April 14, 1865 at Ford’s Theater.

Signatory- General Ulysses Grant, Lincoln’s commander of the Union Army.

Slide #2: Mikhail Gorbachev

Background clue: White House letterhead

Text clues: ‘what I hold Helmut Kohl’- Kohl was German Chancellor from 1982 to 1998; ‘strain on our relations for more than two decades’- the Berlin Wall stood from 1961 to 1989; ‘making the speech at the Brandenburg’- Reagan’s famous ‘tear down this wall’ speech was made with the Brandenburg Gate in the background; ‘tie this issue to the disarmament talks’- The Reykjavík Summit was held in October 1986, just a few months before the ‘tear down this wall’ speech; ‘Schulz will see that Congress back me on that’-  George Schulz was Reagan’s Secretary of State from 1982-1989; ‘party commissariat’- the term ‘commissariat’ had actually been replaced with the word ‘ministry’ by the 1980s, but being a term uniquely connected to the Soviet governmental structure, it made for a better clue.

Hoping this finds you reference: A direct reference to the 1987 ‘tear down this wall’ speech.

Signatory: Reagan, who was called ‘Ronnie’ by his wife Nancy and closest friends.

Slide #3: Marie Curie

Background clue: A lab notebook!  (Probably a bit modern for the Curies)

Text clues: ‘contamination with barium’- The late 1890s attempts by Marie and Pierre Curie to isolate radium were complicated because attempts to separate radium from pitchblende often resulted in barium contamination; ‘salt form may be isolated by differential crystallization’- the Curies eventually settled on the difficult and slow process of using differential crystallization to separate pure radium, but got only one tenth of a gram of pure radium from two thousand pounds of pitchblende; ‘Becquerel agrees’- I have no idea what Henri Becquerel thought about this process, or if he even knew, but he shared the 1903 Nobel Prize in Physics with the Curies, based on his early work on radioactivity, and this was a chance to include him as a clue to narrow the focus on Pierre and Marie; ‘do not think the half-life of polonium will allow for a similar method’- The Curies were never able to isolate pure polonium because it has a half-life of only about four months; ‘something Irene and Eve both enjoy’- The names of the Curie’s daughters; ‘lovely night for a stroll on the Rue Dauphine’- This is a bit dark, and actually made me choke up a bit doing it, but Pierre Curie was killed when struck by a carriage on the Rue Daupine in April, 1906.

Hoping this finds you reference: Curie won two Nobel Prizes and is known for her work in radioactivity.  She died as a result of aplastic anemia from radiation exposure.

Signatory: Her husband, and fellow Nobel winner, Pierre.

Slide #4: Julius Caesar

Text clues: ‘display at the Circus Maximus’- The Roman chariot racing stadium; ‘this new calendar’- The Julian calendar was proposed and adopted by Caesar in 45 BC; ‘dictator in perpetuity’- Shortly after the adoption of that calendar, Caesar was granted the status of dictator in perpetuity; ‘war against the Parthians’- Parthia was a kingdom near the Caspian Sea in present day Iran.  Caesar was planning an assault there at the time of his assassination; ‘set up a time with Brutus’- Merely a reference to Brutus and to Caesar’s famous line ‘Et tu, Brute’ from Shakespeare’s ‘Julius Caesar’; ‘Looking forward to seeing you at the Senate this evening’- Caesar was killed at the Senate on March 15, 44 BC.

Hoping this finds you reference: As noted, above, Caesar was killed on the Ides of March, thus the famous saying, ‘Beware the Ides of March’.

Signatory: Mark Antony, one of Caesar’s generals and political allies, who commanded the eventual war against Parthia.  I chose him, specifically, so that I could use him as a double signatory for the Cleopatra slide as well.

Slide #5: Amelia Earhart

Text clues: ‘Fred would never let you down or lead you astray’- Fred Noonan was Earhart’s navigator on her fateful last flight; ‘have looked for you all the way along your Pacific route’- a reference to the search for Earhart after her disappearance; ‘searching around Howland Island’- A designated refueling stop on her flight, but a location which she never reached.

Hoping this finds you reference: Simply a note that Earhart has never been found.

Signatory: Her husband, George.

Slide #6: The Wright Brothers

Text clues: ‘Thrilled to hear the news from Kitty Hawk’- The Wright Brothers’ first successful powered flight came on the beaches at Kitty Hawk, NC; ‘The bike shop is holding up’- The brothers operated a bicycle shop in Dayton, Ohio, which still stands today and is open to tourists; ‘regular contact with the Air Corps’- The Brothers sold technology, and entire aircraft, to the Army Air Corps.

Hoping this finds you reference: The Brothers had just completed their first successful powered flight and were constantly attempting longer and higher flights (which were generally successful).

Signatory: Hart O. Berg, the Wright Brothers’ business manager in Europe, and his wife, Edith, who also managed European business for them, was the first American woman to fly in a plane.  (Odd historical note, Sarah Van Deman, the daughter-in-law of John Van Deman, who built my house, and lived in it from 1878-1921, was the first woman to fly in a plane in the United States.  John’s son, Ralph, was an Army Captain.)

Slide #7: Napoleon Bonaparte

Text clues: ‘he may rule France in the future’- This text snippet (meant to insinuate that this is a segment of the note) is a reference to Napoleon’s son; ‘Reports from Borodino’- The Battle of Borodino, September 7, 1812, was the deadliest battle of the Napoleonic Wars, but also a tactical victory for the French; ‘that traitor, Alexander’- Tsar Alexander had been an ally of the French, but relations broke down, leading to Napoleon’s invasion of Russia; ‘Perhaps Moscow can be our capital in the east’- French forces, following the Battle of Borodino, were mounting their assault on Moscow.

Hoping this finds you reference: Napoleon did not enjoy the French winter.

Signatory: Marie Louise, Napoleon’s 2nd wife.

Slide #8: Ferdinand Magellan

Background clue: An old naval map

Text clues: ‘that idiot Manuel’- A reference to the King of Portugal, who declined the opportunity to fund Magellan’s attempt to find a westward route for the spice trade; ‘There is move afoot to name the strait after you’- Of course, this wouldn’t happen until much later, but the passage around S. America is now known as the ‘Straight of Magellan’; ‘converting the Cebu’- Magellan and his men had successfully converted the Cebu tribe to Christianity; ‘similar success with the Mactan’- Magellan would definitely not have similar success with the Mactan’ ‘circumnavigation and the spice trade’- I couldn’t really make Magellan any more obvious than this.

Hoping this finds you reference: Magellan’s attempts to convert the Mactan led to battle, during which he was killed with a spear, thus ‘in good spear-its’.

Signatory: King Carlos I of Spain, benefactor of Magellan’s circumnavigation.

Slide #9: Lady Godvia

Text clues: ‘I have reduced the taxes’- The legend of Lady Godiva, almost certainly apocryphal, is that she was angry at her husband for overtaxing the poor and he made a bet with her that if she rode naked, on horseback, through the town, he would reduce the taxes. According to the legend, she did; ‘you may donate as much of our wealth as you like to the churches’- She was also famously a benefactor of local religious institutions; ‘I have even freed the peeping tailor’- The legend also provides that Godiva made an edict before her ride requiring all of the townspeople to stay inside with their shutters closed.  A tailor named ‘Tom’ was the only one to break the rule. This is where we get the phrase ‘peeping Tom’ from; ‘do not embarrass the Earldom of Mercia’- Godiva’s husband was the Earl of Mercia.

Hoping this finds your reference: The Earl would, of course, want Godiva off the horse and wearing some clothing.

Signatory: Leofric, Godiva’s husband, and the Earl of Mercia.

Slide #10: William Howard Taft

Text clues: ‘agree with you about the income tax’- Taft was opposed to the institution of a national income tax, believing it unconstitutional; ‘ratification of the 16th A. has certainly settled the issue’- To address the claim of unconstitutionality, Congress adopted, and the states ratified, the 16th Amendment in 1913; ‘trade agreement with Canada’- Taft was, at that time, working on a free trade agreement with Canada; ��dream of a Supreme Court appointment- Taft is most famous for being the only person to be both U.S. President and Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court.

Hoping this finds you reference: The story is apocryphal, but Taft is also known for his girth, and thus the legend that he got stuck in the White House bathtub.  There is no indication that it ever actually happened.

Signatory: Philander Knox, Taft’s Secretary of State.

Slide #11: Cleopatra

Text clues: ‘do not think is wise to have Herod visit again’- Herod famously visited Egypt in 40 BC, then traveled on to Rome.  He and Cleopatra had competing claims to territory; ‘Octavian is quite pleased with the invasion of Armenia’- Octavian was heir to the Roman throne, and would have been quite pleased with the 34 BC invasion of Armenia, which Cleopatra funded; ‘call on your aid to support the cost of our armies’- see previous note about the Armenian invasion; ‘Ptolemaic Dynasty’- Cleopatra was the last of the Ptolemaic leaders before direct Roman rule; ‘Your story is Taylor made’- Cleopatra has frequently been the subject of modern artistic depictions, most famously the 1963 film starring Elizabeth Taylor.

Hoping this finds you reference: Cleopatra committed suicide (likely by poison), essentially ending the Hellenistic period.

Signatory: Mark Antony, Cleopatra’s third and final spouse.

Slide #12: Neil Armstrong

Background clue: NASA Space Task Group letterhead, in use from 1958-1962, and again for the Apollo program beginning in 1969.

Text clues: ‘leap mankind’- A reference to ‘one giant leap for mankind’, Armstrong’s famous words when first setting foot on the moon; ‘you and Buzz will be successful’- Buzz Aldrin was the command module pilot on Apollo 11, and the 2nd man to walk on the moon; ‘Langley to Houston to Canaveral’- All of the space command locations in 1969.

Hoping this finds you reference: Neil was certainly ‘Out of this world’ when landing on the moon.

Signatory: Deke Slayton, Air Force pilot, Mercury 7 astronaut, Chief of the Astronaut Office, Director of Flight Crew Operations, and Apollo-Soyuz astronaut.

Slide #13: Al Gore

Text clues: ‘campaigned long and hard’- Immediately narrows to a politician; ‘been such a loyal and true VP’- further narrows to Vice-Presidents; ‘CNN has just called Florida’- Most news networks originally called Florida for Gore on election night 2000, before backtracking, leading most people to think Gore had won; ‘So much for the Bush dynasty’- George W. Bush, son of former President George H.W. Bush, was Gore’s opponent; ‘beginning of eight more years’- Gore had been VP from 1993-2001; ‘Tennessee should be proud’- Gore was from Tennessee and had been a U.S. Senator representing that state; ‘Give Tipper my best, Hil says ‘hi’- A reference to Tipper Gore and Hillary Clinton.

Hoping this finds you reference: Gore never got to make a victory speech.

Signatory: Bill Clinton, President when Gore was VP.

Slide #14: Bill Gates

Background clue: Dot matrix printer paper!

Text clues: ‘insisting that software developers are paid’ and ‘Who cares what those computer hobbyists think’- Gates and Allen’s early work on Altair BASIC was widely pirated by early computer hobbyists.  Gates insisted on copyright claims, angering some of those computer builders. ‘meeting next week with IBM’- The July, 1980 contract between IBM and Microsoft set up at IBM as the major player in computer hardware and Microsoft in the same position on software.  ‘Excelling’ and ‘Word’- Microsoft Excel and Microsoft Word are two of the company’s flagship products.

Hoping this finds you reference: Microsoft Windows is the key product powering the company.

Signatory: Paul Allen is co-founder of Microsoft.

Slide #15: Margaret Thatcher

Background clue: Buckingham Palace letterhead.

Text clues: ‘brave men and women in the Falklands’- Thatcher was PM during the UK-Argentina Falklands War; ‘handling of the Hong Kong negotiations’- Thatcher negotiated the terms of the Hong Kong transfer to China at the end of the agreement for British control of the city; ‘Sending you, Dennis, and the children all my best’- A reference to Thatcher’s husband and their kids.

Hoping this finds you reference: Thatcher was famously known as the ‘Iron Lady’.

Signatory: Queen Elizabeth II.  I was unsure how she would sign her name in such a note, but found several example of letters to political figures that she signed simply, ‘Elizabeth’.

Slide #16: Pete Best

Text clues: ‘Epstein thinks’- Brian Epstein was the Beatles manager’ ‘great chance at Decca’- The Beatles breakthrough recording session came at Decca’s recording studios, but it was also the end of Best’s tenure with the band; ‘My Bonny’- One of the Beatles early recordings was a cover of ‘My Bonny’ and it gained them some attention at Decca; ‘George is working on some new stuff’- A passing reference to George Harrison; ‘The drummer is always key’- Best was the drummer, and his perceived shortcomings in that key role led to his dismissal; ‘You’re the...’- Just a play on words on Best’s name; ‘sure that you’ll be a Starr’- Best’s replacement was Ringo Starr.

Hoping this finds you reference: Best would not remain a member of the band.

Signatories: John Lennon and Paul McCartney

Slide #17: George Lucas

Background clue: Stephen Spielberg formed Amblin Entertainment in the early 1980s shortly before the release of E.T.

Text clues: ‘take on directing the second part of your space opera’- Lucas had decided not to direct after A New Hope.  There were some discussions with Spielberg, but the latter never directed a Star Wars film; ‘two pending sci-fi projects of my own’- E.T. and Poltergeist; ‘and the Indy sequel’- Temple of Doom was released in 1984; ‘Kershner or Marquand’- the eventual directors of Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi; ‘Crichton and I are discussing a project that we might need ILM on’- Spielberg directed the movie version of Crichton’s ‘Jurassic Park’ in 1993 and ILM did the special effects.  In reality, they would not discuss the novel until October 1989, shortly before its release; ‘Tell Harrison not to hurt himself’ and ‘behind the whip again’- References to Ford starring in in both Star Wars and Indiana Jones.

Hoping this finds you reference: The Force was with Lucas to the tune of a $4 billion sale to Disney.

Signatory: Steven Spielberg

Slide #18: Mary Shelley

Text references: ‘1 July 1822′- The date of Percy’s death; ‘news from London is good- Victor is a hit’- Mary’s novel ‘Frankenstein’ was released in 1822 to much acclaim; ‘Byron says he can’t wait to see what you produce next’- The poet Byron was a close friend of the Shelleys; ‘The Don Juan is ready to sail’- Percy’s ill-fated boat was named the ‘Don Juan’; ‘Williams and I plan to take her out’ and ‘I’m sure it will go well’- Percy and his friend Edward Wiliams launched the boat on July 1, 1822.  It sank and they were both killed as was a young deckhand they brought with them.

Hoping this finds you reference: Frankenstein was monstrously good.

Signatory: Percy Bysshe Shelley, Mary’s husband.

Slide #19: David Livingstone:

Text clues: ‘dispatched by the New York Herald’- Stanley’s expedition to find Livingstone was funded by the New York paper; ‘sail to Zanzibar in March’ and ‘try to locate you near Lake Tanganyika’- This was Stanley’s route; ‘anxioiusly await the Herald’s funding’- Stanley was delayed by slow funding from the paper.

Hoping this finds you reference: Livingstone was in Ujiji when Stanley found him.

Signatory: Henry Morton Stanley, speaker of the famous line, ‘Dr. Livingstone, I presume?’

Slide #20: Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Background clue: Attorney General Letterhead

General note: I was hesitant about this one.  King and Bobby Kennedy were not close friends, and subsequent to their deaths have been described as ‘arms-length’ and ‘quiet rivals’.  I was careful to try not to suggest a closer relationship between them than actually existed.

Text clues: ‘Jack how good it was to see you in the Rose Garden’- This should immediately give the timeline as 1961-1963 and MLK was actually in the Rose Garden on June 22, 1963; seeking intervention for the SNCC’- President Kennedy was asked to intervene on behalf of the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee; ‘reached out to John Lewis’- A young Lewis was the SNCC leader and this clue should further help with timeline and subject matter; ‘formal proposal for the Civil Rights Act’- That proposal was in June 1963, contemporaneous to King’s Rose Garden visit; ‘southern trips- Miami, Tampa, Dallas’- JFK made those exact trips in November 1963, culminating with his assassination in Dallas, though they were more campaign stops than trips in support of the Civil Rights Act; ‘Washington March next month’- King’s legendary ‘I Have a Dream’ speech was made in August of 1963 during that march; ‘everything that you are dreaming of’- A reference to that speech.

Hoping this finds you reference: A nod to King’s ‘Been to the Mountaintop’ speech, delivered the night before his assassination in 1968.

Signatory: Robert Kennedy, then U.S. Attorney General

[mikiruma]

🏳‍🌈📌💎🎥💕 for homestar runner!!!

🏳‍🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you?

GAY STRONG BAD... and while a lot of it is projection & kinny its not just that... i think it's hilarious how in an effort to make strong bad into this. whatever he is. bragging about how many ladies are on their knees just to date him? he always has these ridiculously beautiful girlfriends who love him so much, but you'll never meet them because they live in far off lands? or on the moon? (sbemail #67: autobiography) the though of trying to hit on the ONE girl to further his "womanizer" image disgusts him??? imagining a male character to be female so it would be "acceptable" to date him?? (sbemail #99: different town) imagining a male character falling in love with him but only expressing distaste outside the imagination sequence? (sbemail #130: do over) receiving a love letter in an email from a dude but only saying so much as "it just wouldnt work out" when he remembered people are watching him??? (sbemail #8: brianrietta) TEXTBOOK!!!! hes gay man!!!! yeah theres internalized stuff which is. kinda what im hinging on but like. he's gotten better over the years w his general personality shift. im just disappointed that this probably wasnt how he was meant to be written at ALL but like. if i had free reigns over the show i'd want him to find acceptance and realize yeah, you can be gay and still commit arson.

(other than that homestar/homeschool/champeen/strong mad are autistic. also coach z is trans & him and bubs are married. i also rly like trans strong bad)

📌 how did you find your hyperfixation?

my uncle actually introduced it to my sibling & i way back when!! and we hadnt actually talked about it SINCE he told us abt it... until last time he was in town!! and i didnt even know he remembered it until he saw the trogdor board game which came in the mail the day before & we got to go crazy go nuts over that again!!! (i dont rly remember much of the introduction other than. we were at my grandparents house for christmas or something & i had to go home to visit the site... and i was like 9 or 10) anyway cool uncle rights

💎 are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?

the brothers chaps have regularly used the fan-owned homestar runner wiki as a resource... useful when u put out as much content as they do! the wiki is credited in all five episodes of strong bad's cool game for attractive people in the "special thanks" section, the brothers have mentioned the wiki itself by name in interviews & at least one toon (that i've seen), just over the past few days on strong bad's twitter page they linked to one of the pages! it is an incredible resource if you wanna know everything about everything in the series, but i think it's really something knowing the creators use it as well. oh yeah and they donate when they can to help keep the servers afloat when the site runs donation drives so. that's pretty cool.

🎥 do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

"favorite scene" or "favorite toon".... im gonna drop some of my favorite toons (or the ones i quote the most) bc most are 3-5 minutes long

fall float parade

sbemail #129: garage sale

pumpkin carve-nival

doomy tales of the macabre (cw: body horror)

halloween potion-ma-jig

i killed pom pom! (cw: alcohol)

sbemail #206: videography

sbemail #110: for kids

play date

donut unto others

where my hat is at? (cw: alcohol)

the homestar runner goes for the gold

the homestar runner enters the spooky woods (cw: emetophobia, (one) dead animal is part of homestar's final fear)

sbemail #207: too cool

a decemberween mackerel (cw: unsanitary in an easter egg)

added some content warnings just in case, also the links in red go to the official site while the black links go to youtube!

💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

i will lay down my life for strong sad no questions asked. he deserves several hugs. i would like to be his friend. i like to think if everyones aware theyre in a cartoon and does their own thing outside what we see on the site, then like... hopefully theyre nicer to him.... i know its fun to rag on him bc he is kind of an easy target but listen. goth king. similar music taste. we totally would have hung out in middle school. also thinkin abt how him and strong bad used to get along.... bro.... i would like to see more of that....

[vyvesvi]

vyvesvi’s long awaited yesstyle review lmao :-)

ugh the keep reading isn’t working on mobile rip y’all sry

>a few Important things:

i just moved into my dorm yesterday so everything abt the pics and reviews to follow is a hot mess + i misplaced some stuff + didn’t bring it to my dorm bc it didnt work out (so i don’t have pics)

I’m not being sponsored in any way by yesstyle, i just don’t think there are enough black reviewers of yesstyle goods (but what does race have to do with anything, you may ask??? well, ppl come in all shaoes and sizes and the overlap between east asian sizes and body types and black body types is um. well. slim. that being said, i’ll give you some deets on me: i legit have no idea how much i weigh but im generally thin-ish with thicker thighs and a tummy pouch; height: ~169 cm, generally a US size S - M/4 - 6))

bc im not being sponsored, im not providing any (affiliate) links, just product names, sorry if that’s annoying

every yesstyle member (you become a member when you buy stuff) gets a reawrds code that takes a % off of my next order and the order that the code is used for, but I think it’s only like. 2% or smthng. message me and i’ll try to unearth my code if ur interested)

I ordered this stuff in two separate, similarly sized orders and the delivery time went like this (#1: ordered on-  2019-07-05 01:33 AM; split into two packages for some reason, received on like...july 22ndish? for some reason the tracking info isnt showing the delivery info. the 2nd part of this order, which was shipped a day later, arrived on the 19th. #2: ordered on-  2019-07-30 10:04 AM, received on  08/20, wasn’t expecting much bc it was shipped from hong kong during the protests but it was basically the same as the first order)

>the actual review part

i rly didnt wanna make a long post so just click for better quality sry lmao

edit: rip the quality if y’all want better photos @ me lmao

Dreamkura - Short-Sleeve Embroidered T-Shirt, Black - L

4/5- weird shape (really long sleeves for a short sleeved shirt, and really boxy too), and if you compare the placement and size of the patch vs. the one in the picture it’s not 100% accurate. still a cute shirt though so it’s fine

I sized up for an oversized look but I probably didn’t 100% need to

the black one is currently unavailable :/

camikiss - Seamless Under Shorts, Black - One Size

5/5- i wear these shorts too much. im wearing them right now. the ultimate safety shorts

the one size was a Risk but these shorts stretch well. maybe dont get them if you’re an XL and above in US sizes though

Lemongrass - Distressed Denim Shorts, Dark Blue - M

4.5/5- better quality than primark which. wow, did not see that coming

you have to cut the button hole (they seal it to show they they’ve never been worn apparently)

the button kinda like...jingles if you shake them vigorously, but it doesn’t happen when the pants are on, so it’s fine. still funny tho

im bad at wearing ripped shorts but if ur not i highly recommend

INKLEE - Round Buckle Faux Leather Belt - 105CM

5/5- kinda cheap but it does what I want which is hold my pants up lol

i could’ve sized down but that has way more to do with me not knowing my waist size lmao

Gwendolyn - Off-Shoulder Ruffle-Trim Blouse, White - One Size

4/5- i bought this bc it made me think “flyy like a butterfly” and all that jazz

it’s not my normal style but i really like it! it’s VERY sheer though

but I also got white so what did i really expect?

one-size was a risk once again but this shirt is pretty roomy, although it’s also kinda short...like not crop top short, but slightly difficult to tuck in short.

i would buy it again in black so i guess that says something

also i have like. freaky long arms (i can wave my hand over my shoulder with my arm behind my back and my elbow parallel to my torso...that’s such a weird description but uh. just know that my arms are long okay) and it didn’t look too indecent at the top to have the sleeves pulled down to my wrists! it’s a win!)

Moon City - Drop Shoulder Cardigan, Black - One Size

4.7/5- smelled weird when i opened it but I washed it and it’s fine!

one size risk but this one was also roomy af

the sleeves fit!!! god bless!!!

Edise - Couple Matching Elbow-Sleeve Embroidered T-Shirt, Black - L & White L

5/5- The white one was perfect and I love it! I sized like 2 sizes up for it to be a oversized but I would say it’s only abt 1 size oversized, if that makes sense? but I actually like it the way it is so cool lmao

3.7/5- the black one was really badly sewn on, but i reported it and got a new one for free so go me go yesstyle! they didnt give me tracking info *i think* and i wasn’t really waiting for it so it feels like it came fast lol

the moon is kinda a more awkward shape in person i think, but the stormy clouds were high quality and perfect!

i really like the material of the shirt!s it’s thick and soft and smooth? i’ve legit never felt a tshirt like that but im into it

DIYI - Plain High-Waist A-Line Skirt, Black - M

4.7/5- im wearing the outfit pictured right now and *TMI* the sewn in shorts are giving me a very very uncomfortably large wedgie tbh

it fits perfectly otherwise though

i feel like it’s one of the cheapest feeling things that i received, but it’s about forever21 quality but for only $11.45 so i’m 100% fine with it tbh

TREEZIN - Plaid Mini Skirt, Dark Blue - M

4.7/5- it’s very cute and fits perfectly! kinda shirt though and there was like 1 loose thread

the brown in the skirt isn’t super noticeable which i don’t really mind...overall i’d say that they lightened the photos considerably, which effects the color of the skirt

no safety shorts but idrc

pretty thick material

the final stretch thank god

Manicotto - Mock Two-Piece Sleeveless Mini Dress, Check - M 

3/5 pretty cheap material. the skirt is true to size, but the top is like two sizes too small (i don’t have that much boob but it was still too much for this poor, poor, top). they come as separate pieces, so i brought the skirt to school with me and left the top at home. im not sure what i would tell someone who wanted to buy this abt sizing, bc of the dramatic discrepancy btwn the sizes.

A’ROCH - 925 Sterling Silver Dinosaur Earring, 1 Pair - S925 Silver - Gold - One Size 

4/5, very cute, VERY small (dainty, sure) and good quality! my only complaint is that either it’s not real silver or whatever it is that they used to make them look gold is something that im allergic to. my ears got itchy

A’ROCH - 925 Sterling Silver Ear Cuff1 Pair - Cross - Silver - One Size

4.7/5, definitely 100% silver. i’d love to wear them but with my move i can’t find either pair of the earrings

they only sell them as 2 of the cross cuffs or 2 of the parallel cuffs which is annoying bc they’re pictured together but they’re good enough and cheap enough that i’d buy the parallel ones in a separate order

Euphrasia - Oxford Crossbody Bag, Black - One Size 

5/5 one of my best buys hands down

its ugly cute but it’s so useful

it has so much storage space for such a small bag

im in love

Jansi - Set of 3: Heart-Embroidered Socks, Black + White + Blue - One Size

4.5/5 i wanted the dark gray that’s pictured but they edited the hell out of that photo so the blue that i ordered is actually the gray sock pictured

really comfy and cute! esp with the tops of the hearts peeking out over the tops of high top converses??? i love it sm

i have big feet and they fit me, so they’d fit most ppl i think

Ashlee - Cuffed Denim Shorts, Light Blue - M

2/5, a horrible disappointment part 1

maybe i shouldve sized up more but the critch area just fits SO BADLY i left these at home

i would return but im not paying for return shipping to hong kong so i’ll donate them

they’re also cute really badly like they don’t taper in at the waist at all

no human person is shaped like that pls ashlee

they get a 2 bc they are shorts and they sent me the right color

Rosehedge - Pleated Mini Skirt, Black - S

3/5, a horribly disappointment part 2

i shouldve sized up idky i didnt

i can actually fit into them and zip them up and everything but it’s so so short that you can basically see my entire safety short covered butt and it kinda bulges between the top of the tiny sewn in safety shorts and the actual skirt

wow thats a weird sentence sorry but you get it

has thousands of good reviews though, way more than anything on this list so that must count for something right?

3 bc it’s kinda my fault

Regalia - Faux Leather Wallet, Black - One Size 

5/5 beautiful lots of storage space but still very compact, would buy again

the “forever young, made in korea” is kinda ugly but what can you do?

Prinsis - Printed Socks, Dinosaur - White - One Size

3.5/5 they’re cute, but the design is so but that you can see halves of it on the front of the sock, which is very ugly

notice how on the site every pic is taken from the side? not a coincidence

they fit fine and are comfy though

>okay that’s it thank god!

>lmk if you have any questions!!!

(@gowon-yyxy)

[spnfanficpond]

February 2019 Pond LiveChat Recap

We had a great time chatting today with @impala-dreamer!! Thank you so much, Beka, for joining us!

We talked about self-publishing through Amazon, how to do it, what the benefits are, and the challenges to making a finished product. A rundown of the chat, as well as some general Pond news, is below the cut!

Q: What sort of music do you listen to when you write?

Beka: Oh, uh... Well, Actually, I have a lot of playlists on youtube. So it depends. I have a hardcore smut list that is just music that gets my hips moving... then a romance thing which is feely stuff. A "Deanspiration" list that oddly has zero Zepplin in it, just stuff that reminds me of him or gives me ideas. Sometimes I hear a song and it instantly snaps an idea. I write to music a lot.

Q: For everyone, do you reblog everything you read or do you think likes have the same “power” behind them?

Beka: No. If I read it, I reblog, unless it’s iffy. Iffy means, I read it, but wasn’t up my alley or I think it would be too triggering for people. I avoid those types of fics, anyway.

@mrswhozeewhatsis: There is a very small percentage of things I read that I won't reblog, but then, I haven't really read them, I've noped out for one reason or another. Usually grammar/formatting or content, not writing style, to be clear.

@girl-with-a-fandom-fettish: I guess one reason I suck at reblogging is a lot of the stuff I read has nothing to do with what is currently reblogged on my blog and that just doesn't match in my very matchy brain...is that just me?

@mrswhozeewhatsis: I believe that everyone should be able to put on their blog what they want. Some folks see their blog as a collection like in a museum. Some folks, like me, see it as more of a news feed. Collectors are less likely to reblog because they're carefully curating their blog. My advice to collectors is to then make a side blog where you can reblog the things you don't want to collect.

Q: What’s the biggest challenge you find in writing?

Beka: I think the biggest challenge for me is writing in the moment. I can't write if it's not flowing, and sometimes I try to force myself just to get the story out bc i fear i'm letting people down by not posting enough? But it’s not good when I do that, so I have to let myself go with the story that's with me at the moment. Sometimes it's two at once, like today. lol. Also, Sam is hard. (heheh no really, he is. also he is. but pg13)

Q: There are so many questions to about this process!

Beka: I do really get asked about it a lot, and it's really not that hard once you do it. It's annoying to navigate and decide what you want to do, but it really is awesome and not too frustrating. Amazon is really great because they do have an extensive help section AND message boards so you can ask and talk to other self publishers so it's like having someone with you.

Q: You said you chose to publish through Amazon. Out of curiosity, were there any other ways you heard about or considered before you settled on Amazon, and if so, was there a specific reason you didn't use them?

Beka:  I'm basically a Google fanatic, so when I decided to do this, I had no idea what I was doing so basically I goggled "How to self publish a book" and there were THOUSANDS of sites thrown at me. I honestly can't remember the other sites I looked at, but it basically came down to amazon was a company name I knew, I trusted, and had the best help and resources. And I have a kindle, so I figured that was easiest. I think I only looked into one or two others but I can't remember what they were. Amazon just stood out.  I did read up on like actually doing it yourself like through a book binder and all that and it was SOOOO much work this was just the easiest and most cost effective.

Q: Okay, but with Amazon, do they, like, own part of your content if you publish through them?

Beka: NOPE. I hold copyright to all my works. they just are the people who produce the actual physical book.

Q: What was the time frame, like from start to finish, I guess? Or the process if you don't mind. What did you have to do to get set up with Amazon?

Beka: Ok- so getting set up was easy. if you have an amazon account, you're good. Or you just make one. then there is a website- kdp.amazon.com -and they literally walk you through the entire process.  Someone up there asked how long it took -  I rushed it. my novel started as fanfic, which I wrote in about 2 months, then I took 2 weeks re-editing and changing to non-fanfic, then about a week editing again and formatting and then i had my hard copy. So, all in- maybe 3 months, but the actual amazon stuff takes a few days to get you a book in hand.

@kittenofdoomage: One thing I will say about Amazon, it's very convenient but I struggled with the covers and formatting.

Q: Did you have to use special software to submit your work?

Beka: I write in google docs, but amazon no likey- so I had to move everything over to Microsoft Word. and from there it gets updated. HOWEVER, there is now in beta testing an amazon program which I downloaded for my 3rd book but was too frustrated to figure out so I never used it. it's specifically for Kindle, but kindle didn't like my poetry format so I couldn’t do it.

@kittenofdoomage: They have step by step guides. And I use Google Docs, too, but you can download into a PDF or .doc file from there.

Q: So it's not a copy-paste thing, you upload the completed file then reformat it for amazon?

Beka: well... it's two different things for paperback and kindle. There are specific formatting guidelines for paperback such as margin sizes and gutters and such so when you turn a page it's not all wonky. Kindle formatting is MUCH easier to do. you just upload and it does it for you. The files for paperback need to be formatted with specific things. it's not hard... just annoying.

Q: You mentioned changing your fanfic into non-fanfic. Does that mean you can't have any fan elements in a story to publish it?

Beka: Well... my novel was basically a J2 x Reader BDSM fanfic, and so I changed J2 to original characters, I changed the show, the car, the everything. If you know that I write SPN fic, and you read it, you can see it's clearly SPN, but those who don't know SPN don't know that, because I've asked. lol. Also- someone read it recently and thought the Jared character was Jensen, so I guess I changed it enough.  I personally would not publish anything that actually said SPN or J2 or anything because those are copy-written characters and not mine so it does seem illegal to make money off of them, ya know? 

@mrswhozeewhatsis: It is actually illegal to make money off of fan fiction. The WB owns the characters and the show. If anyone else tries to make money off the characters or identifiable elements of the show, the WB can sue and win.

@kittenofdoomage: Those who use Patreon are covered under fair usage only because Patreon is a donation site.

Q: Were there any parts of the process that surprised you?

Beka:  Honestly, the entire thing surprised me. I went into it like just to see if it was possible and then i realized- I CAN’T publish my work. they WILL sell it. People WILL buy it. and it was all very shocking. It was scary, and I know people are intimidated by it, but it really was simple in the end, and if you want to do it- do it. It's awesome to look over at my bookshelf and see my name on actual, physical books ya know?

@kittenofdoomage: I was the same, Beka. I procrastinated for months. And okay, it wasn't a huge success but I learned from the first time, bettered myself the second time, and now.... I'm procrastinating again but that's not the point lol

Q: How much money do you make per sale?

Beka: It depends on the format and the cost you put. Like, for my short story and poetry book I make PROBABLY a few cents on it. My novel I make around $2 depending on the price I set. You set the selling price, and you can do sales and freebies. 

@kittenofdoomage: You can choose everything. They tell you how much you'll make from each copy sold.

Q: Do they tell you how much other authors sell similar works for, to give you an idea what others think is reasonable?

Beka: Yeah, you can look it up, too. They have a chart that's like, "This is your sale price. This is how much we take to make it. This is how much you get," and you can fiddle with it.

Q: Is there any kind of marketing happening on Amazon’s side, or is it all you?

Beka: They can do promotions, but you have to pay them to promote it.

Q: Did you look into promotion costs through Amazon? What kind of money are we talking, here?

Beka: Honestly, I don’t remember. When I see a fee of any kind I run for the hills because I'm cheap like that. lol. It's prob not too cheap BUT they also have this thing you can sign up for that's like a library kinda deal where your book can go on the free book a month kindle deal- i didn't do it bc you don't get royalties for it. but more people read it? idk what's best. It's all very over my head marketing.

@mrswhozeewhatsis: I guess if you're looking to become a popular selling author, and you have the cash to pay to promote it, then after a few books, it would pay off when you develop an audience.

Q: Do you think self publishing is the way to go long term, or maybe a better in terms of testing the waters? I realize you are still in the latter stage but I'm curious about your opinion...

Beka: Here's my thoughts: I used to be a singer/songwriter. I played in Manhattan. I had paying gigs. I recorded an album. I thought I could make it work. But I didn't go for it. No one handed me a record contract. I let it all go to have my kids and family.  I want to write. I realize no one's gonna stick their hand out and hand me a publishing deal. BUT I might be able to pay some bills with my books. I might be able to write enough, well enough to sell some books. and if i sell enough books, maybe a publisher WILL see me and then I can attempt the next stage.  I think self publishing is great. Why not? Do it if you want to do it. If you want to write, write. If you want to share it, share it. Who's to stop you? And if you can share it through self publishing with people all over the world?? freaking do it, man. 

Q: What is your best piece of writing advice?

Beka: OK, my best writing advice is... See it, feel it, write it. If you don't feel what you're writing, I'm not gonna feel it reading it. I think i'm more of an emotional writer than a descriptive. I can't tell you what the room looks like that they're in, but I can tell you how it feels that Dean just stepped on that Lego. ya know? Idk. Write what you see and feel, and put yourself into it, and it'll be amazing. 

Q: Are you a planner or a pantser?

Beka: Planner? SOMETIMES. It depends. I have plans for series, but shorter things I just go with the flow. I'm constantly messaging Ashley like "DEAN JUST DID X. I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING!" lol

Q: Do you outline at all, or just have a general goal in mind?

Beka: I do outline series. but not... strictly or drastically. Like, right now i'm working on a series for my kink bingo that's alternates between the brothers. I have a general plot line over all to follow, but i've also set it up like c1- flogging. c2- spanking, etc. 

Q: What is something you know now that you wish you knew before you published?

Beka: I think I'd tell myself to not worry and just freaking write what I want.

Q: Do you have a writing schedule or something that keeps you productive?

Beka: No. I try very hard to have a schedule, but I'm a little... slightly... bipolar I think and my writing follows my moods. I can write 20K in a weekend and then nothing for a week. I just literally ride the wave of ideas. Like, currently I'm in a slump. but I wrote 10K this week before the slump hit. It's quite annoying.

Except for some general conversation about the stupid places and times we all get ideas and the incomprehensible notes we’ve all left for ourselves, the chat ended. A good time was had by all, I think!! Thanks to everyone who was there! @littlegreenplasticsoldier @kittenofdoomage @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish @because-imma-lady-assface @canadianspnhunter (And two folks whose URLs I never got: Cassie and Shaila)

General Pond Updates and Reminders

Angel Fish Award nominations are due soon! Click the link for the list of raffle prizes! Remember, every nomination is an entry! So far, we’ve only received three or four nominations. If you have sent in a nomination, but have not received a private message confirming we received it, we didn’t get it. Send it in again! Be sure to use Submit instead of Ask!

Don’t forget to submit your stories to be posted to the blog! When your stories are on the blog, then they are easier to nominate for Angel Fish Awards!

SPNFanFicPond Season 14 Weekly Episode Writing Challenge - New prompts go up after every new episode, and there’s no deadline! Check out the prompts and rules at the link!

Say hi to February’s New Members!

Check the Pond CALENDAR to see when Big Fish will be in the chat room and other Pond and SPN events are happening! Know of something that’s not on the calendar, send us an ask or submission with the deets info details!  The calendar offers a lot of features, such as showing you when things are in your own timezone! Since we’re an international group, that’s a definite plus!!

Next month’s LiveChat details will be published as soon as we know them! Hope to see you there!

[sereniv]

Hi! Yaqui anon (again lol) So I was doing some thinking about what you were saying in your responses, and ngl, I think I’m at another crossroads. You really emphasized the importance of connection when it comes to reconnecting, and I realized that, to my knowledge, there are no family members, either immediate or extended, who are enrolled in the tribe or practice the culture. The only thing I have is basically a family story and information online that could honestly be inaccurate (I think I mentioned that I saw tribes connected to ancestors in my research online, though I’d ideally like to actually view the uploaded records and not rely on information that anyone could input and that isn’t actually based on data from records (literally just learned that today so yayyy 🙃🙃) Unfortunately I can’t view the records that might have ancestors’ tribes listed on them without a paid subscription to the site.

I’m not going to lose all hope of trying to reconnect just yet and I’m still going to reach out to relatives, distant and not so distant, for any info, but rn it’s looking like reconnecting and claiming I’m Yaqui may not be my place. I won’t lie and say the thought isn’t upsetting to me, but I know I’ll get over it, and better to figure that out and come to terms with it now than insert myself in spaces that aren’t mine. If you have any advice— maybe I’m missing something— I’d appreciate it very much! Thank you again for being so gracious and informative with your former replies. Take care and be well 🌸

Ill put this one under a cut just in case it gets long. sorry if its not best written. i had to take an edible for body spasms so im a little drowzy

connection isnt just to family since someone could not have family or want contact and thats fine. my dad is Yaqui but hes not Yoeme. hes just Yaqui by blood. Also hes a bigot. He SAYS he cares and wish that he could learn but i think hes lying and would rather just be white. he also says no one on the yaqui side wants to talk to him. like huh really? i wonder why, trumper??

connection is more for community. connection looks a lot of ways, not just talking to people, not just learning. like for me, language is what makes me feel connected. even though im just learning.

for someone else it might be activism. it might be talking to someone in the same boat as you. it might be listening to music, or gettinf envolved. connection could be donating for projects that benifit the community if thats all you can do.

and especially for reconnecting its not going to happen all at once. its going to be rocky, and its going to be drawn out. there is never going to be a time where it all falls into place and you can check reconnected off on a list

it can be as much or as little. but there has to be some tether. like i said, just taking a title and then doing absolutely nothing isnt it. like..

ok so im trans and disabled. big identities for me. i never know when pride is, or trans day of visibility. i dont know news about trans issues unless i see it on my dash. sometimes if i read stuff that doesnt effect me, or even does, i dont feel anything. or rather im not emotionally affected. basically, i support trans rights 100%, just sometimes some things feel meh even if its dire. if that makes sense. i still care!

but being trans makes me happy and proud and that is just who i am. i am always trans. even when im not in the community actively. and this can also be attributed to passing, white privilege, etc.

and with disability its the same, even if its something that is very relevant to me. thats just how my adhd mind is.

and i felt bad about it for a long time bc i felt, of im really trans or really disabled then i have to be an activist and do the most and fight for the community!! but theres nothing wrong with being in the community but engaging when you feel like it

so connection is going to be tailored to you, and whats relevent to you as a person. like identities always sounds like.. a jacket? but its just you. strip everything away and being disabled, being trans, being native, being a religion is still there.

again its never going to feel enough which is why you have to focus on you rather than how youre percieved. its so hard lol. at least for me.

But in terms of proof, im in a slightly similar boat? My cousin has papers which he says he has that indicate that my great grandma was full Yaqui. which lines up bc (BQ talk for sake of thr conversation) im 1/8th, which makes my dad 1/4th, and my grandma half. i think my grandma. and then my great grandma as 100%. which unfortunately i never got to meet. ive also been told he thinks a cousin lives on the rez in arizona. but other than that i dont know anyone other than my cousin who is connected or even attempting to reconnect

So again it lines up. but its really hard to get that info. and getting that info is especially hsrd when you have anxiety or are shy. which can seem like

well if its important enough, then you can work through it and should. but thats why we have to focus on us. push a little past what makes us comfortable, but ultimately dont beat yourself up for not being able to interact with people.

and youre so right, i think you have a great mindset- because yeah its not about searching to be native or yaqui. its not fingers crossed let me be native

its about a missing puzzle piece. and if the puzzle piece you find is actually not the one you thought it was, what matters is still finding the right piece

also i would love to know where u get your info and that subscription site, unless its the ancestry.com shit. that makes me mad. everytime it shows up with info it gives me a money screen

also if you want if youre on ancestry.com or 23andme we can add each other. who knows maybe we're related lol only if youre down. ill give my name so you dont have to publicly. but you said youre shy so its cool if no

otherwise idk how anyone does genealogy. like my jewish side has a lot of info and italian from one of my cousins who collected a bunch of stuff. and then on my dads side it goes to my grandma and it doesnt fill anything in.

but yeah even if you dont feel comfortable claiming yaqui yet, you can still connect to the native community

and at the end of the day a lot of native ppl dont know their tribe they decend from. they are still native. just from an unknown tribe. which is sad to not know but like, its not their fault. it feels shitty to say youre not native anymore bc colonization ttok away records and knowledge of your heritage.

like i think one some people do is support their local tribe. get involved locally.

unfortunately i dont have much info to give bc like i said im in a similar boat. im shy and anxious so its hard for me to talk to people, so seeking that info overwhelming

and then bugging my cousin sucks

but since you seem to have a little less to work on.. idk. maybe sign up for 23andme AND ancestry so that you have a wider net for family members that you can contact

otherwise maybe getting a genealogist to help you

and yeah its ok to not claim anything. Theres no rush! you can still be in the native community and support

sorry if i missed anything

[tahpssi]

LONG-ASS TAG THINGY

(I’m just gonna steal the title from you bc I’m shameless like that)

I was tagged by @sweater-daes​ thank you so much!!

Rules: answer 80-something questions and tag 20 people. Tagging: @donutquestion @park-sungshine @lamptastical @goddessofwasteland @annaflamel @thekoreanbigbang (you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to ofc!)

last?

Drink: water

phone call: my dad 

text message: my friend wishing him a good night lmao (yes that was last night)

time you cried: I think that was last Tuesday actually, had a stressful day at work plus my period showed up the next day

kissed someone and regretted it: big Yes

been cheated on: nope

lost someone special: not due to death if that’s what’s implied here

been depressed: still am aye

gotten drunk and thrown up: nah I don’t drink

favourite colours? there’s specific shades for these but idk color names so I’ll just name the basic ones

red 

blue

green

orange

turquiose

in the last year you have?

made new friends: yes I met some amazing people here on tumblr ♥

fallen out of love: oh yes, made me realize how much of an immature lil shit I still am at the ripe old age of 24 lmao 

laughed until you cried: well I can’t really remember if I did or not but there’s a big chance I have yeah

found out someone was talking behind your back: nope, doesn’t mean they aren’t talking about me behind my back though lmao

met someone who changed your life: hmmm I think so yeah, I mean the break-up with my ex was pretty brutal and eye-opening and I’ve only met her within the past year so that counts; also I think the friends I made on here changed my life in a way.. especially Bre since she’s responsible for getting me into Monsta X and that opened a whole new world to me

found out who your true friends are: I only have like... a handful so there’s not much to find out there

general?

how many facebook friends do you have: I don’t have facebook

pets: I wish :(((

ever wanted to change your (birth)name: ...hahah good one; Yes

what you did for your last birthday: went out to dinner with my dad and sis

time you woke up today: 11am I think?

what you were doing at midnight last night: pretty sure I was playing a game on my phone

what you can’t wait for: lets go with a positive answer here and say finding a new apartment

whatcha listening to: Stand Up by Basick feat. Mamamoo

ever talked to a person named Tom: maybe.. I mean I dont actively recall it but yanno, bad memory and such

something that gets on your nerves: my one friend complaining about me never contacting her first etc. EVERY TIME WE MEET (we’ve known each other since middle school and I honestly don’t know why it’s suddenly bothering her, it’s been 10 years god dammit)

most visited site: Tumblr

hair colour: natural: dark brown; current: green + dark brown on the sides

long or short hair: short 

crush: nah 

what do you like about yourself: oh boy, I like my hair and my eyes, and I guess my face in general isn’t so bad; I like that I managed to teach myself English to the point where I’m just as fluent in it as my native language; I like my collections and am actually really proud of them and I also like my clothing style actually

any piercings: lip and eyebrow, currently thinking about getting my nose pierced as well

blood type: B positive

nicknames: Jay / crocodile (only one friend calls me that but I love it, “croc” for short, it’s the best nickname)

relationship status: single

sign: aquarius

pronouns: they/them & he/him (I’m experimenting rn)

favourite tele show: Downton Abbey, Digimon and Criminal Minds (I’m a fake fan I haven’t seen anything since season 9 please forgive me)

tattoos: "until whenever ☆” on my left wrist but I’m thinking of getting more this year hopefully

left or right handed: right handed

have you ever had a surgery: nope

do you want piercings: yessss moreeeeee

Sport: used to play soccer as a child and I even did like gymnastics (for kids obvs) but once I hit puberty that shit was all forgotten

Favourite holiday: don’t care about any of them I just enjoy having the days off work

trainers: if u mean shoes then Nike

more general?

favourite dish: pancakes

favourite drink: water, I don’t really drink anything else

i’m about to watch: nothing lmao

what i’m waiting for: a miracle lmao (nah man I’m waiting for myself to finally get my ass up and find a therapist and look into that whole transitioning shit because I’m Tired of living like this but also change is scary and uh I’ll stop here before this turns into a longer rant)

what i want: to get back into gaming, I miss it :(

get married: don’t think so but who knows what will happen

career: really don’t give a shit, I just want to keep my job and earn money so I can keep myself alive

which is better?

hugs or kisses: hugs, definitely

lips or eyes: eyes

shorter or taller: for a partner I prefer shorter bc I’m into Cute and Tiny

older or younger: I generally don’t care about age as long as we’re on the same level of maturity and stuff, which isn’t always a given though when the age difference is too big I guess 

arms or stomach: I like tummies

Troublemaker or hesitant: never been put into a situation where I had to choose so I honestly have no idea

have you ever?

kissed a stranger: no

drank hard liquor: yes (and it was gross af)

turned someone down: yes (does it count when it was just some random creep on the internet tho)

sex on a first date: nope

broken someone’s heart: I have and I’m not proud of it

had a heart broken: yeap

been arrested: lol no

cried when someone died: yeah but idk if it was out of grief or shock or just the general mood around the whole thing? 

fallen for a friend: yes

do you believe in?

yourself: nah man I’m useless

miracles: not really? idk??? I’m not much of a believer/non-believer when it comes to supernatural and magical stuff

Love at first sight: nah man, you can crush on someone but love is a deeper thing, that doesn’t just happen from looking at a person once

santa claus: lmao nah

angels: don’t have any proof they don’t exist so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

misc?

eye colour: blue/green

best friends name: Vivi and Roo

favourite movie:  The Lion King

favourite actor: Choi Seunghyun

favourite cartoon: Avatar: The Last Airbender (gonna steal this from u bc good choice)

favourite teachers’ name: forgot her name lmao 

[parkwoojin]

QUESTIONS TAG

thank you to my loves @minhwangs​ and @king-jaehwan​ for tagging me!! sorry i took so long to get to it also; i’ll put it under a read more!

THE LAST

drink: water (that’s rlly all i ever drink my parents dont ever let me buy soda/teas/juice)

phone call: my younger cousin (i called him to come outside bc we were going out to eat)

text message: to my group message w/ my two best friends! 

song you listened to: wanna one’s energetic! im constantly streaming it on youtube tbh

time you cried: don’t make fun of me but it really was when woojin was picked for wanna one..... my heart really soared yall!! id been a fan of woojin since ep. 1 and he really stole my heart bc he worked so hard and is just so talented and lovely and i was just so proud and thankful that he got in that i cried ;;;;;

HAVE YOU EVER

dated someone twice: nope!

kissed someone and regretted it: nope

been cheated on: no

lost someone special: yes

been depressed: yes

gotten drunk and thrown up:  never, ive actually never had a drink LOL

3 FAVORITE COLORS

pastel blue

pastel pink

pastel yellow (can u tell i like pastels)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

made new friends: yes

fallen out of love: no

laughed until you cried: i’ve never had this experience b4 i hope i do one day

found out someone was talking about you: no

met someone who changed you: yes

found out who your friends are: yes

kissed someone on your Facebook list: yes

GENERAL

how many Facebook friends do you know in real life: about 95% of them

do you have any pets: no ;; but i consider my bf’s cat my cat if that counts hdjsfklj

do you want to change your name: no, i rlly like my name!

what did you do for your last birthday: nothing special, it was a really busy week for all of my friends due to senior activities and my family was out of town; so i just had a simple lunch with my bf!

what time did you wake up: 8AM for church 

what were you doing at midnight last night: going on twitter and screaming over woojin fanaccs from all of the fan signings  

name something you can’t wait for: my wanna one album and donghyun slogan set to come in the mail!

when was the last time you saw your mom: like 15 min ago

what are you listening to right now: still energetic i literally have a playlist up

have you ever talked to a person named tom: i dont think so...

something that is getting on your nerves: my college orientation times they’re rlly ridiculous its 10 days and each day spans 12 hrs like this is not rlly necessary sigh 

most visited website: tumblr and youtube

hair color: black, but my tips are brown bc they lightened due to chlorine LOOOL..... a free and natural ombre look i suppose 

long or short hair: rlly long omg it reaches to the middle of my butt LOL

do you have a crush on someone: my bf!

what do you like about yourself: i think i’m funny sometimes! my prime humor time is in real life, 10:00 PM -12:00 AM catch me on my late night show 

blood type: i actually have no idea and neither does my mom.... ive tried to donate blood to find out but i was under the weight limit by just a few pounds

nickname: k, kaikai, han (my viet name) 

relationship status: taken for 3 yrs hehehe

zodiac: pisces; rabbit/cat for chinese/vietnamese respectively 

pronouns: she/her

favourite tv show: running man probably! i dont watch much tv

tattoos: none, but i want one someday!

right or left handed: right handed

surgery: i had it done on my eye once to remove smth from it - it was a sad yet funny experience; after i came out of the anesthesia they gave me icecream but i couldnt taste the icecream bc of the anesthesia..... 

sport: i used to do swimming, soccer, and track at my local park when i was younger but now i do none of the above hdJFL

vacation: my last vacation was to universal studios in florida! harry potter world is amazing 

pair of shoes: my fave pair of shoes are my superstars!

MORE GENERAL

eating: just finished eating some cantaloupe 

drinking: again, water

I’m about to: go to bed

waiting for: my woojin key strap! i love buying merch online i have a problem

want: to roadtrip around america (which will probably not happen anytime soon) ;;

get married: yes but not too soon, i guess once i’m at the stage where i’m ready for commitment

career: psychologist (looking at going into research)

WHICH IS BETTER

hugs or kisses: hugs

lips or eyes: eyes for sure!

shorter or taller: taller

older or younger: older

nice arms or nice stomach: arms

hook up or relationship: relationship

troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER

kissed a stranger: no

drank hard liquor: no

lost glasses/contact lenses: i aLWAYS LOSE ONLY ONE CONTACT...

turned someone down: yes

sex on the first date: no

broken someone’s heart: no

had your heart broken: yes it was mad awkward bc he swung for the other team

been arrested: nope

cried when someone died: yes

fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

yourself: yeah! i think i’m doing alright

miracles: yes, i like things like little miracles

love at first sight: no

santa clause: no

kiss on the first date: for sure, if you’re feeling it you do you!

angels: yes!

OTHER

eye color: dark brown

favourite movie: its probably mulan!

i think everyone’s done this already so i wont tag anyone specific but if you haven’t done it pls do and tag me in it!!