#i personally believe they’d be dressed better but drawing clothes is not my strong suit

[rosemarycorpse]

have not been able to stop thinking about the Thanedd banquet… so I made another redraw

og picture :)

[timothy-chamlet]

the afterparty - t.c. fanfic

pair: timmy x female reader

warnings: unprotected sex, general smut

word count: 2.6k (2640)

a//n: ok er ive never written for timmy before so im nervous snsvsj but if you read it tell me what u think !! <3

°•○●○•°

people often thought the two of you were dating. paparazzi tended to make it look that way through press. despite all the candid photos of you and timothée plastered in magazine spreads and floating around on blogs, he would tell people you weren't together. interviewers would ask, and time again he would put an end to the rumor by saying you weren't dating, you were just friends. 

to be fair, you honestly couldn't even be mad at him. it was a good marketing tactic, at least. if all the girls knew he was single they'd still be invested in the persona of a young, attractive starlet that - despite his more than desirable qualities - is still single. genius. meanwhile you were being his best friend and his trophy for award shows. 

it was growing on you though. you enjoyed walking red carpet events and going to extravagant parties and meeting big names in the industry. it was really a win-win for both of you. 

another one of those win-win situations was tonight. the past three days had been crazy. hair appointments, nail appointments, dress fittings, photoshoots, brunches, and dinners. running each new day on an hour of sleep - maybe two if you were lucky. fueled by energy drinks and the promise of rest after the event. showing up to an awards ceremony on nothing more than a 20 minute nap and a double shot espresso. being timothée's showpiece was exhausting. but it was good for you. 

you had just finished your last consultation for dress fittings and were on your way to your styling appointment. the dress would arrive shortly after you so everything was ready to go. things were set for timothée to meet you there in an hour or so, after his own styling. 

currently you're getting your makeup done. a swarm of professionals all around you, handing products, giving directions, telling you how gorgeous you look, at least three hands on you at all times. after almost an hour all the disembodied hands move from your face to reveal the *almost* finished product. you still need your hair done, but your face was flawless. your skin was insanely smooth; not a pore in sight, your lids were a bronze shade, and your lips were a perfect nude. 

a hair stylist soon steps into view, also admiring your makeup before diving into your hair. it was simple. a slicked back ponytail is all, careful not to draw away from your face and your dress. 

the strong aroma of hairspray clouds you as you maneuver to step into your dress. stripped of your previous clothes, you step into your dress and a couple people help you pull it up. the woman attending to the supper in the back steps away for a moment, seeming to answer a question. 

"what's his name?" she asks into her ear piece. "uh yes. she's in here with me. send him in."  

she returns behind you and does up the zipper to your dress. to your surprise, you see timothée waltz in the room. dressed in a charcoal gray suit with a light lavender button up underneath. "y/n," he exhales, walking towards you. "you look breathtaking, ma chérie." 

"you don't look too bad yourself, timmy," you say, stepping down from your pedestal to be almost eye level with him.

"is she done here?" he asks everyone around without taking his eyes off you. 

one of the women there swoops in with a pair of shoes and says, "slip in to these and you're ready to go, darling." 

you step into your shoes and link arms with timothée. "carriage awaits," he says as the two of you get escorted to the limo. 

once inside you let out a deep breath you didn't know you were holding. "you okay?" he asks from beside you. 

"yeah, just.. tired." 

he chuckles and drops his head. "absolutely exhausted." you two had similarly scheduled days so he knows exactly how you feel. "don't worry, mon amour, i'll have you home in about 8 hours." 

"i thought the awards show was only 4-" 

"there's always the afterparty.." 

you audibly groan and drop your head as timothée places a reassuring hand on your knee. 

"we're here," he says with fake enthusiasm as the limo pulls up to the event. the past 45 minutes felt like hours as your head began to pound from the lack of sleep. yet, lucky you, 45 minutes in l.a. traffic was a miracle. 

the two of you step out into the scene. flashing lights from camera flickers, the general buzz of the crowd, people you knew trying to get your attention, people timothée knew trying to get his attention. being the kind person he is, he doesn't shy away from fans calling his name. he walks over to give high fives, say hi, sign things, and really interact with the people that are so invested in his career. you look at him with a fond smile on your face as he greets  people.  

"timothéeeee," you both hear and turn around to match the loud booming voice to a face. 

"armieee!!" he yells in response, hurrying over to hug his co-star. 

you stand idly by as the two hug and catch up. fiddling with your ponytail and the skirt of your dress. until that same voice catches your attention. 

"bring it in hot stuff!" 

"hey, armie! how've you been, handsome?" you two had only met a handful of times, but it's like your souls clicked instantly. he had kept in touch since the first time you met and you guys had been pretty close ever since. 

"oh i’m doing great. really. just excited for this evening. can't wait to see how many awards lil' tim brings in," armie ends with a light laugh before timothée chimes in. 

"oh god no-" 

a cheery voice interrupts the conversation. 

"helloooo," armie's wife says in a sing-song voice and joins his side. "nice to see you again, y/n. and congrats timmy on your nominations." 

you and timothée nod in response and utter small, nervous 'thank you's' before armie excuses the two of them, promising to catch up later. 

"well, well, well- this is it, timmy." you say from your seat next to him. the host reads the nominees for best breakthrough of the year, and timothée's name is mixed in with so many other talented actors. he nervously puts his hand over yours. "you are absolutely amazing. everyone knows that. you're gonna get it." he looks at you and you pass him a reassuring smile. 

"and the award for best breakthrough goes to… timothée chalamet!" 

his head shoots up in shock. cameras pan around him and his baffled expression appears on huge screens behind the stage. he slowly stands from his seat and makes his way to the stage. making a beautiful speech, thanking almost everyone he's ever known. giving gratitude to everyone he's ever worked with, his parents, and his best friends. he comes off the stage and returns to his seat beside you. a year runs down his cheek, and you move to wipe it away, but he grabs your hand away from his cheek only to press his lips to your knuckles. "thank you for always believing in me." 

"you're an amazing actor and an even better friend. 

the night was nearing an end. people were saying their goodbyes and their 'see-you-soon's and going their separate ways. you and timothée walk out of the event, arms linked, with his hands tightly gripping his award. the smile never leaves his face. "i can't fucking believe that, y/n."

"you did it, timmy! all you and your hard work. lemme pick a nice spot on your shelf for it yeah?" 

"i was thinking about sitting it on my dresser right above the drawer full of your shit you keep leaving at my house," he says with a barely visible smirk. 

"oh, well if it's such a problem," you begin "i guess I'll just have to come get my 'shit' then?" you finish sarcastically. 

"oh! how dare you?" he begins to shout, going on a tirade similar to that of hamlet; overly dramatic and mostly nonsensical. "leave them be! small, small remnants; reminders of thee." he trails off softly, dropping his head to your shoulder and bringing his other hand up to trail his fingertips down the side of your face. 

you can't help but chuckle at this. "bravo timothée! amazing performance." 

he straightens up before taking a bow and returning to his previous position on your shoulder. "do you wanna skip the afterparty?" 

"and do what, tim? i thought you were gonna catch up with armie?" 

"i dunno- go to my place?" 

you nod your head, and timothée let's the driver know to just go to his house. 

you get out of the car in front of his apartment, quickly thank the driver, and dash inside; excited to remove the day. "can i shower?" you ask quickly already making your way upstairs.

"oui, mon trèsor, make yourself at home. ill be up in a while." it was almost as if he had it scripted. a routine more or less. you'd ask to shower - despite him telling you almost each time you never had to ask - and go up stairs to do so; him trailing along about an hour later behind you. 

you finish your shower earlier than planned so you decide to lay on his bed until he comes up. you let your freshly washed body relish in the textures of the cotton t-shirt and shorts you're wearing and the damp-cool feel of the comforter on his bed. 

you're not left alone for long before he darts up the stairs and into his room, catching your attention. you watch as he walks around, dropping various articles of his clothing haphazardly on his floor. left in only his boxers. 

"timmy?" you ask in a drawn out voice. 

"hm?" he asks lowly in response; his eyes trained on you. you don't respond to his muffled question and instead watch as he comes to lean over the foot of the bed, by your legs. "i've been thinking," he continues, "a lot recently. about us.." 

"us?-" 

"about what the media thinks we are. what the people say. the blog posts, the tweets. i read it all… what do you think about it, y/n?" he ends with a light sigh, making drawing light swirls on your leg. 

"i dunno really. i've never thought much about it," you say sitting up. 

he moves up from his place in front of the bed, crawling up to sit to the right of your legs. knees drawn up to his chest, eyes meeting yours. he raises his hand so his fingertips ghost the curve of your cheek. "you never think about.. the possibility of us?" he pauses as his eyes drift from yours. hands falling to his lap as he scoots even closer to you. you sit stunned, not knowing how to answer as if it was some rhetoric instead of a simple question. filling the silence, he continues. "i think about how different things would be if we were together. what it would be like to hold you and kiss you and- can i kiss you?" 

his voice wavers as his eyes meet yours yet again. with quick movements, he moves to straddle your legs, both hands resting lightly on either side of your face. 

"can i kiss you?" he asks again, his face millimeters from yours. 

you shake your head yes as your eyes fluttering closed, your lips brushing against his as you move. 

he plants his lips firmly on yours. innocent at first, but the kiss quickly gets deeper. more desperate, his hands moving from the sides of your face to tangle in your hair, pulling your head back giving him access to your neck. his lips dance around the skin of your neck, being careful not to leave any marks. “is this okay?” he whispers, dragging his hands from your hair to the hem of your shirt. 

you nod your head vigorously and he pulls your shirt up and over your head, throwing it to the floor with his clothes. you lean back and give timothee free reign of your chest and stomach. he makes his way from your neck down and across your chest. your hands rush to knot in his hair as he takes a nipple in his mouth, carefully flicking his tongue across the hardening bud before doing the same to the other. 

"timmy.." you breathe out as he leaves your chest and explores lower. his eyes meet yours as his teeth come into contact with the flimsy waistband of your sleep shorts. "please," you whisper. 

he hooks his fingers into the waistband of your shorts and pulls them down your legs; eyes going wide when he sees you have nothing underneath. 

"so pretty," he whispers almost to himself as he throws your shorts in his floor with the rest of your guys' clothes. he runs his finger along your slit, collecting some of your wetness, tasting it. laying back down with your legs over his shoulders, he hooks his arms around your thighs to keep you in place. he runs his tongue along your folds and you arch your back in response. he sucks on your clit making you squirm and tangle your fingers tighter in his hair, pushing against his face, eager for more. 

"tim-... timmy," you beg.

timothée kisses his way back up your body. "hm?" he hums softly beside your ear only for you to utter another weak 'please' in response. 

"please… please what, mon amour?" 

"baise moi.." you didn't know much french. you had picked up on a few of timothée's most used phrases, but this you hadn't learned from him, so it caught him off-guard. stuck in a moment of shock. hearing you say something so dirty in french felt so strangely intimate; you didn't have to ask him twice. 

he slips his boxers, finally accompanying you in nakedness, and slips into you, moaning at the feeling of you around him. 

"fuck.. timmy-" you groan as he picks up his pace. he coos sweet nothings into your ear while drilling into your core. 

his head drops to your chest and the soft, sweet praises slowly turn into obscenities. "merde," he groans, picking up his pace even more. holding himself at arms length above you, he throws his head back; lips parted in pure bliss. 

you lift one of your hands to trail down timothée's torso. you lazily drag your fingertips across his chest and down to his stomach. the pleasure building inside you, your hand finds its way to your clit. “timmy... fuck! ple- please don’t stop. fuuuuuck!” 

“défaire pour moi, y/n.” you didn’t think french could ever drive you to orgasm, but when it came from timothé anything was possible. you convulse around him as your wave of pleasure washes over you. timothée reaching his own peak soon after, pulling out and emptying on your stomach. he quickly finds something to clean you up with before plopping down on the bed beside you. many silent moments pass - nothing but heavy breaths leaving either of you - before he speaks up. “you know,” he begins in a soft whisper, “i felt bad- like i was using you. just to go to events with me. i know you don’t really like them but-” 

you cut him off and turn to face him. “i might hate going to those award shows, but they’re a little less bad with you around.” 

he breaks into a wide smile and pulls you closer, putting his head on your stomach. "mon amour, je t'ai toujours aimé." you reach down to play with his curls and begin to drift off on your way to sleep. 

[dreamescapeswriting]

Unfinished Business ~ Part Nine

WORD COUNT: 7.3K

WARNINGS: Mentions of mafia, strong language, murder, blood, torture

PAIRING: Bang Chan X Reader

DESCRIPTION: Part Nine of nine of my new Bang Chan series. 

You’re taken hostage but one of Seoul’s leading mafia families Bang Chan but he doesn’t take you because he wants to fake a marriage or make you fall for him in 365 days no…He wants to use you for his own personal gain. To take over another family but when you try to escape things take a turn for the worst and you learn Chan isn’t one to be messed with.(Please I suck at describing stuff)

THEMES: Chan x Fem!Reader, Self insert

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS | 

The day had finally arrived, the day you had been dreading for the last two weeks, you'd barely left Chan's office from the moment you got back. The only times you ever came out of the office was to go to sleep - in his bed - or when Jisung and Changbin forced you to eat something downstairs so you wouldn't have to feel so alone. But today was something you weren't going to be able to survive, something you'd have to get changed into real clothes for, for the first time in weeks instead of Chan's clothes you'd been wearing. 

"The dress is in his bedroom," Changbin whispered, as he walked into the office to see you staring at the same set of photos you'd been staring at for the last few days. They were of Chan and his ex-wife, standing together and smiling. 

"Y/n-" He went to repeat himself to make sure you heard him. You'd been so lost in your own world lately he just wanted to make sure you heard him correctly.

"I know, Changbin," Over the two weeks you'd gotten closer with him. He began trying to comfort you to make up for what had happened with Chan, never once telling you that it had been the plan to leave you there all along. 

"I'll go and change now," You muttered, standing up from the leather chair and walking out into the hallway. Jisung, Felix and Minho were all standing there in matching black suits with their heads hanging low as you walked into the hall to join them. They'd been talking in hushed tones but stopped as soon as you came out, 

"Who am I riding with?" You questioned, clearing your throat as you looked up at each of the boys who were avoiding your gaze. It's what all of them had been doing all week, it bothered you. They were treating you as though you were broken glass, tiptoeing around you and whispering about something you could never hear. You'd heard them whispering at night when they thought you were asleep - you would lay awake most nights. Staring at the same photos of Chan and his wife wondering if they were together now or if he was still around you all as a ghost. 

"You'll be with me." Jisung cleared his throat, being the first one to break the silence and everyone walked away from you so you could be alone with him. 

"Thanks, Jisung," He knew you were most confident with him. Knowing that if you had to cry, it would be better to do it around him than the others. Plus they all had places to be today and had to make sure they were on their best guard. Jisung had been the one to keep you comforted throughout Chan's death and the two weeks leading up to now. Mostly because he'd been the only one able to stay in the same room as you, as you cried out about it all.

"We're gathered here today to say goodbye to someone who was loved by many people," You were sitting in front of the coffin, holding a red rose that Jisung had given to you before you sat down. The rest of the boys were scattered around the graveyard looking around for something, you knew it was their job to pay attention to everything going on around them but none of them was crying. None of them had been crying since the day it had happened and it bothered you about how they were so cold about this, 

"We believe a few people have chosen to speak so please stand up.” You watched as Felix walked up to the coffin first, clearing his throat into the microphone. He looked at you and then to Jisung beside you and nodded, as if they were having some kind of conversation. 

"I knew Chan for four years, he took me under his wing when I first moved to Korea. Many people will tell you that he was a bad guy for what he did in the business but he was well respected and did everything by the books unless he had a real reason not to." You looked down at the floor not wanting to cry, memories of Mrs Lu came flooding back to you as you remembered the night that Chan had her killed. 

"He never hurt anyone, he would put out fronts of hurting people but he never did. It was all part of his bigger plan." A hand was placed on top of yours, but it wasn't Jisung's like you expected it to be. You turned your head to the left side to see Mrs Lu smiling weakly, as she kept her head forward looking at Felix who was still going on with his speech. Your mind was filled with confusion and your mouth hung open as you stared at her. For a moment you'd thought you'd died and this was hell for you, being forced to go to the funeral of the man you loved.

"He took on many people, faked their deaths if they needed to get away from somebody bad. He'd help them start a brand new life, helping them out of their debts with other mafia families, mostly out of Namjoon's life; giving them that fresh new start they needed." There was some shuffling happening behind the chairs, people mumbling as someone pushed past them with a walking stick and you looked over your shoulder to see someone moving towards the coffin. 

"J-Jisung who's that?" You whispered, leaning closer to him so no one else could hear you. A man dressed in a baseball cap was walking towards the front with a limp and a walking stick. A gunshot rang out causing you to scream in shock, Jisung dragged you onto the floor along with Mrs Lu. Everything was happening all at once, bringing flashbacks back to the night you lost Chan. The man who had been walking to the front was on the floor, the coffin knocked over with a mannequin on the floor where Chan should have been if he was inside of it.

"What the fuck?" You whispered, another gunshot rang out and you were covered in blood again. You gasped out, flinching as the shot sounded, 

"JISUNG?!" You cried out, turning to see if he had been the one to get hurt. But he was holding you and smiling up at someone above you. You looked up to see Chan holding a gun that had been fired recently, covered in blood and aiming the gun down at the man who had knocked the coffin over. 

"What. The. Fuck?" You struggled to get up from underneath Jisung. But once you were up, you stepped over the dead body in front of you not bothering to check who it was. Because it wasn't important to you right now, Chan smiled at you brightly expecting you to hug him or kiss him. But he was shocked when he got a slap across his cheek, before you ran away from him. He held his face watching you walking away, he guessed he deserved it for faking his own death. 

"Y/n?!" He called out, but you ignored him sobbing into your hands as you rushed towards the car that Jisung had driven you to the funeral in. Jisung looked at Chan rushing over to you to get you home safely, since you were in no fit state to drive right now.

"Y/n," It was Jisung this time. You'd been back at the mansion for a couple of hours now and Chan had been trying to worm his way into the spare room, but you hadn't let him. You couldn't see him so you refused to, sitting in front of the door so he wouldn't bang it down.

"Food." He placed a plate on the table and you stared at him, wondering if he knew everything that was going to happen today.

"You knew he was alive didn't you?" You questioned. You were still dressed in the black dress you had been wearing to the funeral, which was pointless now that you looked at it. It had all been fake. His death, the funeral, all to get to Namjoon who was now dead and laying in a coffin of his own. There was no doubt in that after the bullet went right between his eyes. That was who you had stepped over to slap Chan round the face. 

"I did, but-"

"Why didn't you tell me?! I cried over him for weeks! You let me suffer for nothing!" You yelled, but there was a knock at the door. Chan was standing there holding his side which was where he'd been shot, but you had no sympathy for him right now. As much as your heart was begging to go over to him, you couldn't. Jisung left the room as soon as Chan came inside and you scoffed,

"He had orders to keep his mouth shut you can't be mad at him-"

"I can be mad at whoever I want, you especially!" You yelled, pointing your finger in his face and pushing him back so he would stumble back hitting the wall. He shook his head at you, he knew you had to get your anger out somehow and if this was how you were going to do it, then so be it. You hit his chest with your fist, right before breaking down into tears and falling to your knees as he wrapped his arms around you. 

"I had to do it, we had to draw him out...We knew he was after you that night...We had to do it, Y/n" You whimpered against his arms, wondering what he was talking about. You'd only mentioned him faking his death, but he was coming clean about everything.

"I have to be honest with you about everything, just listen to me please." You sobbed into his arms and he instantly felt bad for everything he'd put you through. He'd already gotten it in the neck from Changbin and Jisung about everything you had been through, even though most of what happened on your date night had been Changbin’s idea. Changbin and Jisung wanted to tell you from the start that he wasn't dead, but they had to use your sadness and pain as a way to make it look real to Namjoon. It was the only way he was ever going to come out and make sure that Chan was in fact dead. That he'd gotten away with killing one of the biggest mafia leaders in Seoul. Now he was gone there was no reason for Chan to be in hiding, Namjoon's shares would go straight to Chan who in return was letting a bunch of people off with their loans. But all you could hear was that he was using you to win something he wanted, 

"W-Was I a pawn this whole time?" You questioned, remembering that very first time Chan had taken you and accused you of working for Namjoon. The very first time he'd hurt you and told you he was going to kill everyone you loved - when he, in fact, hadn't. Mrs Lu was very much alive and doing a lot better, she and her husband were living out of Seoul in some richer neighbourhood better off, with a new restaurant to run happily together. Has everyone been in on it? Laughing behind your back? While you mourned for someone who wasn't dead? 

"No...At first, yes. But then I started to fall for you, it got harder to stay away from you and keep you at a distance. You were just supposed to help me lure Namjoon out and the boys would take him out no matter the costs. But I found myself falling for you Y/n, I didn't want to risk putting you in danger anymore so I wanted to stop, have it all over faster..." He took a deep breath looking at you, 

"That night, when we went on our date, I was supposed to leave you in the gardens for a while but not long. Just long enough for Namjoon to come out so we could get him, but then when you told me you loved me, I freaked out. No one is supposed to love someone like me." He whispered, feeling suddenly pathetic in front of you for everything he'd done. He hadn’t thought of you when he left you there, he'd just left you in danger as he thought about saving himself from getting hurt by you.

"You used me, knowing that Namjoon would come to me because he did the same for your wife?" You pushed yourself away from Chan. Everything was too much all at once, all of the facts coming right at you, it was starting to make your head hurt. Had this all been some kind of sick revenge for Chan? Had he felt nothing? You tried to move away from him, but his arms stayed locked around you, not wanting to let you leave him there alone. He was done running from his feelings for you now.

"I will explain everything when you calm down..."

"Calm down?! You faked your death! I mourned for you for two weeks and all this time...While what? You've just been off partying?" You got up from the floor wiping your eyes.

"Healing from a gunshot wound actually," He grunted, still trying to make things light hearted. But you shook your head at him, not wanting to waste your tears on this, but you gave him no time to stop you from leaving him on the floor. 

"You have to talk to him," Changbin said, when he walked into the garden that night. You were sitting by the firepit that they had, looking into the flames while drinking from a glass of hot chocolate. You didn't know if you could leave and even if you could, you had nowhere to go. 

"No, I don't. I don't have to talk to any of you. I want to leave." You'd been thinking it over since you left Chan on your bedroom floor. There was no sense in staying when he'd faked his death and faked the killing of someone you held close to your heart. If he'd just been honest from the start, maybe things could have been different. But this was too big of a lie for him to come back from. 

"Y/n, you don't mean that. You're just upset." You'd had enough of people telling you what you did and didn't mean and what you did and didn't feel. You threw the cup off at the pavement listening to it smash against the floor. 

"Shut up! You don't know a damn thing about what I am feeling! I love him! It was that easy for him to just walk away and hurt me, as if it meant nothing to him! Leaving me alone, cold and out as bait!" You yelled to him, walking along the grass towards the giant mansion and making your way inside. Chan was standing there looking at you with sad eyes, he'd heard you yelling and wanting to come down and calm you down. 

"Can we talk?" You walked away without answering him. Heading towards the stairs, but it was blocked off by Felix, he wasn't about to let you pass until you at least acknowledged that Chan had been speaking to you. 

"What? If I don't talk you're just going to chain me up in the basement like old times?" That tore a hole in his chest, hearing you bring up the basement like that it was clear to Chan that you were upset over everything that was happening. But you didn't need to lash out on everyone else, so he wasn't going to take it to heart. 

"I hurt you, I know-"

"No Chan! Hurting me was when you sprained my ankle by keeping me locked up like an animal! This! Making me fall in love with you and then ripping the world out from underneath me! That was fucking torture." You whimpered, finally giving in to the tears. You ran your hands through your hair, wanting to rip it out as you let out every emotion all at once. All of the hurt and anger you felt towards him had been building up and you'd finally hit your breaking point. 

"Leaving me out there as fucking bait because Namjoon was worth it more than I ever was, wasn't he?" You wanted straight answers from him. It was going to be the only way to get them out of him, then so be it. You were going to be as nasty as you could possibly manage. 

"Yes, but the plan was to come back right away, it was going to be safer than what it was that night I left-"

"Safer?! What was the plan!? I could have helped! But instead, I was chained up in some sicko's warehouse where he burnt me, spat at me and called me names I never even want to repeat! Cut me, threatened to shoot me and all for what?!" Your voice was hoarse because you were crying and yelling all at once, 

"For your own selfish reasons?! For you to be able to say you took down one of the biggest leaders!?" He looked down at the floor, it had originally been the plan to get Namjoon to come out so the boys could take him down as revenge for his wife. The plan would be for him to see you and want you because they all knew Namjoon wanted what Chan had. He thought he could use you without getting attached and hurt, but it hadn't worked that way. You'd been too nice and kind to him for him to ever want that, 

"Originally it was the plan." He wasn't going to waste his time lying to you anymore, he looked down at the floor. 

"I thought you worked for him and if he saw you with me it would create some kind of war and he'd come after me and then you weren't working for him...So I was going to use you more, which was why he was everywhere we went...He had us followed the moment he first saw us together. But I never expected to fall for you!"

"Oh, so because you didn't expect to fall for me it makes it all okay?! It's fine! You were just going to throw me out once the plan was done, so what does it matter?" He groaned, running his hands through his black hair. He wasn't good at this sort of thing, but he knew Changbin was. 

"Changbin, explain it to her please." But Changbin kept his mouth shut, knowing better than to get involved in other people's business, even if it was his plan. Even though he didn't like you very much back then, he wanted to go back to you at the gardens. But Chan wouldn't allow it, he was too busy locking himself away and breaking things in his office.

"Answer these questions, were you or were you not going to use me against Namjoon for your own good?" 

"I was." He replied. You nodded, understanding him, 

"Was the original plan to kill me once you killed Namjoon?" He froze in place before nodding his head,

"Do you love me?" 

"Yes." He answered that quickly and you stared at him. There was a point where you'd kill to hear that from him. That first night when he left you in the gardens practically naked and alone, you'd have killed for him to stay beside you and admit he loved you too. The old lady in the nursing home was right, loving someone like that was dangerous. You'd fallen right into his open arms, sinking so far down you had no idea if you even wanted to get out of there.

"Y/n?" You stepped back as he stepped closer, shaking your head at him and moving away. Your back hit the wall as you thought about everything. 

"Like you weren't doing the same to me...Pretending to like me-"

"Chan...There was a difference, you were keeping me prisoner here...Are you going to do the same now that I know everything?" He shook his head and you nodded.

"I need space." You whispered, staring at the floor instead of at him. If you looked at him, all of this would be over. You wouldn't be able to listen to your head, which was making good points. You would instead listen to your heart, that was telling you to leap into his arms and forget everything that had happened. But how could you after everything he had done and put you through in such a short time period? It was too much to be with him. 

"I can give you space, you can stay upstairs-"

"I need space away from you." You spoke up this time, not daring to meet his gaze. Jisung stepped forward as you rushed towards the staircase, pushing past all of them this time. If you stayed in the house where you got to see him every day it would be too easy for you to give in to him and not see clearly enough.

"Take her somewhere she'll be safe, she's not to go back to the bad side of town...She'll need a guard," Chan swallowed the lump in his throat. He wasn't about to cry in front of the boys over this, but he started up the stairs as he heard you whimpering in your bedroom. He would wait until you were out of the house and he could release his anger onto something else. 

"She'll need a place to stay. I'll wire her some money, Jisung will you stay with her or at least near her." He was being unusually calm about all of this, but the boys didn't say a word to him. Not wanting to poke the bear as it was, Changbin knew what was going to come when everyone went home or to different parts of the house. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Two Months Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The tea was steaming as you poured it into the ceramic cup, trying not to spill any of the hot liquid onto the table,

"Where is that boyfriend of yours?" Mrs Park asked, as you stepped away from her table to place the pot of tea onto the tray that was waiting behind you, 

"Sooyoung! You can't ask such things." You softly laughed at the ladies in front of you who you were serving tea to, you'd begun working in the nursing home full time. They'd ask you this all of the time, hoping you'd change your mind about Chan. But it never happened, you just ignored their question and continued on with your job.

"Besides, he always comes by on Fridays to see her." You knew that. You'd seen him sitting out on the bench every Friday for the last two months with a bouquet of flowers, waiting for you to tell him to come inside, but you never had the strength to do it. You loved him. You knew that. But loving him and allowing him to be in your life was two separate things, just because you loved someone didn't mean you had to be with them. You wanted to be happy but being with Chan brought on a wave of emotions, not just happy...though that had been the main focus at one point for you. 

"She has to see him at some point, they have unfinished business." Your grandfather mumbled from the other table, not looking away from his dominos in front of him. He still had no idea as to who you were, but he treated you with respect just like he did every worker there. Though he did treat you a little better than the rest, since you were closer with him than the other nurses. You did have unfinished business, but it wasn't anyone else's problem except your own and Chan’s.

"We don't have unfinished business." You told him, as you turned around to hear your phone vibrating from the trolley behind you. You groaned walking over to it and turning it over, yet another text from the doctor informing you about your late appointment that you had with them. You'd been avoiding it like the plague ever since that last one you had. 

"It's not supposed to rain today, we were supposed to go to the botanical gardens!" Sooyoung cried out, as Nurses poured into the room to make sure everyone was okay. A sudden thunderstorm had come out of nowhere causing you to drop your phone, nurses were helping patients out of there quickly. Some of them were sensitive when it came to things like thunderstorms happening.

"You dropped this, dearie." Your grandfather said, holding up your phone for you to take. You took it and thanked him before helping the nurses out with patients. 

It was a long drive to the hospital from the nursing home, even longer since you'd tried to get there in a thunderstorm. Chan hadn't been to the nursing home for a couple of weeks, which seemed like a good thing to you. You weren't going to have to face him until after this scan...You knew deep down it was wrong to keep this from him since it was his child, but he was who he was. You weren't sure if you could bring a child into his life, your mind was split once again. 

If it wasn't for being pregnant, you would go back to Chan in a heartbeat, you'd spent months crying over everything that had happened. Overthinking every small detail that had happened that last time you saw him and you realised that no matter what, you still loved him hopelessly. 

"I have an appointment," You stuttered out to the blonde receptionist who looked you up and down. 

"Name?" Your eyes glanced over her. She looked like a nice girl, but was coming across mean.

"Y/n Y/l/n," She nodded and began typing it into the computer. Her hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail and she was wearing scrubs, she looked like she might have been a nurse rather than a receptionist. 

"You're on the fourth floor, take the elevator at the end of the hall and it'll bring you out on the correct ward," Taking the sheet of paper with your name and appointment on, you followed her orders and walked down the hallway. It was brightly lit and filled with people all doing their own business in the hospital, you glanced over your shoulder as you felt eyes on you. Since the charity event with Chan eyes had been on you a lot. Whenever you went to the store people would stare at you, expecting to see Chan somewhere behind you, but you were alone all of the time. "Miss? Are you coming inside?" An elderly woman questioned, you nodded and stepped into the elevator with her and a little girl who was holding her arm and crying. From the looks of it, it looked badly broken so she was probably in a lot of pain. 

"Fourth floor," The robotic voice called out. You let the elderly woman and her granddaughter out first before following behind them towards the second receptionist. You handed her your piece of paper and she flashed her teeth at you, 

"One moment please," Her long red nails were hitting the keyboard as she typed and you watched her as she smiled brightly at nothing,

"You can wait in the second waiting room," Nodding, you walked away from the desk and the crying girl. Heading over to one of the waiting rooms, it was completely empty so you took the first seat closest to you. Though you'd never been for one of these before you thought for sure that it would be a lot busier than this. The whole waiting room was empty, it made you feel uneasy, but you took a deep breath trying to calm yourself down. The thought of doing this all alone was terrifying, more terrifying to you than that night you'd been with Namjoon. Thoughts of you raising a baby alone in this world began to cloud your judgement, making you think of nothing but Chan.

To help the time pass by, you began reading through a magazine that was in the waiting room, but you wished you'd never picked it up. The page you'd flicked it open to was a photo of you and Chan leaving the Charity event when he'd picked you up. Your foreheads were resting against one another as you smiled, out of the corner of your eye someone entered the room. 

"Did you have me followed?" You questioned as you shut the magazine. Placing it into your bag, you hoped Changbin didn't see the smile that was on your face while you were looking at the photos, but he'd seen it. How couldn't he have seen it? It was the first time you'd smiled properly in months and it lit up the entire room. 

"Why would I have you followed? It's my job to watch over you," He reminded you, as he began to flick through a newspaper that he'd brought with him. You squinted to see the date, it was a recent newspaper. 

"Give me the paper, there's nothing good here," You held out your hands. but he ignored you and continued pretending to read the newspaper that was in front of him. 

"Changbin-"

"We came to an arrangement, remember? You pretend I'm not here and I don't talk to you...Would you like me to tell Chan where you are right now?" His eyebrows raised as he turned to look at you, your stomach sank and you looked away from him remembering the deal you'd made. 

Jisung was supposed to be the one watching over you, but Changbin took his place since he felt so bad for all of this unfolding. He blamed himself for you leaving Chan, since it had been his plan in the first place. The deal was that Changbin could watch you without talking to you, you didn't want to know what Chan was doing. It would only make getting over him -- or trying to get over him -- harder and Changbin wouldn't tell Chan what was happening.

"You don't need to tell Chan where she is right now, he already knows." Chan's voice came out and you stood up instantly and stared at him. Your eyes were almost as wide as Changbin's as you stood staring at his boss. 

"We'll talk later. Home." He had ordered Changbin, who scuttled out of the waiting area, knowing he was already in trouble enough without causing a fight here. Your back was pressed against the wall as you watched Chan calmly walk into the waiting area, sitting down on the chair where Changbin had been. 

"You can sit," He mumbled to you, you sat back down in your seat and glanced at him. He hadn't changed, but there was something about him that was new, his head lifted and that was when you saw it. A scar going from the top of his brow to under his eye on the right side of his face, you filled with worry as you saw it. 

"Chan? What happened?" He frowned. Then glanced at you as you pointed to his eye, his hand slowly raised to his fingers to his face and he nodded. 

"Had an accident, it's nothing-" He froze as you were sitting next to him suddenly, running your fingers over the scar, he hadn't expected you to get this close to him. He was just here out of moral support for you. 

"I-Is this why you stopped coming by?" He held back the smile that was threatening to escape. You'd missed him almost as much as he missed you, by the sounds of it. But he couldn't lie to you, so he wasn't going to try. From this point forward he was going to be as honest as he could with you without scaring you away.

"Yes." He answered plainly, not wanting to give too much to you. 

"What- What happened? Did someone do this to you?" You panicked, thinking someone else was after him, but he shook his head. It had been an accident with the boys, he'd gotten into a fight with Changbin after you left the way you did.

"It doesn't matter," He mumbled, not wanting this to be about him. He lowered your hands away from his face whenever you tried to make him look at you. Since he got the scar he hadn't been able to look at himself in the mirror, it was one of the reasons he stopped coming by. He didn't want you to see him with this scar on his face, he was insecure about it, but it was nothing to you. 

"It does matter! You've been hurt and I lo-"

"Y/n Y/l/n," A nurse interrupted you before you had a chance to finish what you were trying to say to him, you'd wished she hadn't. You wished you had more time to tell him what was happening, but he clearly knew you were probably pregnant. 

"Coming." You stuttered out as you stood up from the chair and looked at Chan who was eyeing you up. 

"I'll wait here if you want?" You nodded at him, before he even had time to finish his sentence. You wanted him to be there. There was a chance this wasn't even a pregnancy. You'd been in for a test for something else and the doctor at the GP told you that you'd come back positive for pregnant, but there was absolutely no way. The thought of being pregnant alone terrified you. But would you really be alone? You loved Chan...You could do this together. Couldn't you?

"Have you had an ultrasound before?" You nodded at her question and got up onto the bed, you'd had them before to scan your liver and kidneys when you got sick before.

"This will be a little cold, roll your t-shirt up for me," You did as she said and looked at the ceiling. She applied some cream onto your stomach and then applied the wand to scan your stomach. You were sure your lip would start bleeding the way you were biting down on it so hard, you weren't ready for a child, were you? The whole drive over here you'd been thinking about it. Trying to figure out if you were ready for this, but there was no way you could go to bring a child into this world knowing what you knew, but you'd always wanted to be a mother.

"Hmm," She pressed harder onto your stomach and you thought you were going to burst. They'd told you to come in with a full bladder to make it easier for them to see inside and every small push was pushing you closer to peeing yourself. 

"Go and pee for me and come right back," Following her orders you walked out of the room and to the bathrooms to pee, Chan caught sight of you and sprung to his feet in a rush.

When you came back out you were face to face with Chan who looked worried, the panic was written across his face as he watched you coming closer to him. He had no idea what to say to you, what he could ask. He'd never been in this position before.

"What happened? What did she say?" You shook your head at him, as you began walking to the room again with him by your side. 

"She didn't, she wanted me to pee first..." He watched as you hesitated about going back into the room, your whole body was frozen as you waited to go inside. 

"I don't want to do this alone..." You admitted to yourself and to Chan while looking at the door handle instead of him. There was one thing you knew for sure: pregnant or not, you wanted Chan by your side throughout everything from now on. You wanted him there through every moment of your life.

"Do you want, Changbin?" He began, turning to reach his phone from his pocket. You placed your hand on his wrist and shook your head at Chan's question. Looking up at him while swallowing the lump that was forming in your throat, 

"I-I want you to come in with me," You whispered, as you finally admitted it to him and yourself, he nodded and opened the door for you. 

The screen lit up and you were left to stare at it for a second, while the nurse worked her way around your stomach with the machinery, 

"Here," She whispered, clicking onto the screen with her free hand to point out what was happening. Chan's hand was holding yours when a sound began to play through some speakers, you didn't know what it was until she spoke to you.

"Strong and healthy heartbeat." She whispered calmly, as you let out a gasp listening to the thumping happening. Your eyes filled with tears as you glanced up to Chan, tears were rolling down his face. 

"There you go, here's the little one." She zoomed the screen in to show you a baby moving around inside, it was hard to see with the screen being so black and white and 2D but there they were. Your child sitting happily on the screen while you and Chan stared at them. 

"I'll get some photos for you," She whispered, as she began clicking away on the keyboard snapping multiple photographs of the baby.

"You look about two months so the little one is perfect. You'll be able to find out the gender around your four-month mark." If the nurse continued talking, you didn’t know.  You and Chan had drowned her out as you watched the screen together, happily smiling as you stared at it. 

"I'll give you both a moment while I go to get the photos." She clicked a button on the screen and the baby stayed on while she began to clean your stomach up. 

"I'll be right back." She stated, as she walked out of the room.

The door to her office shut and you stared at Chan before you stared back at the screen, neither of you quite believing the fact that there was a baby on the screen. Your baby.

"A baby," You whispered to him, still in shock as you watched the screen. The one time you have sex, it would be your luck to end up pregnant. 

"Our baby," He whispered back to you, as he sat down beside you on the nurse's bed in shock. When he followed Changbin to the hospital he thought there was something wrong at first, he never expected you to be carrying his child. You glanced up at him wondering what all of this meant now, what this meant between you and Chan.

"Chan-"

"Move back in with me," You spoke at the same time together, you stared at him for a couple of seconds while you weighed up the pros and cons of everything going on. Raising the child alone could never work and you could never take Chan away from his son or his daughter, that would be too spiteful on your part. 

"You don't have to think about it right now, but I want you to think about it. Y/n, I can't eat or sleep without you. I feel sick whenever I think about you being alone and when I followed Changbin today, I thought you were sick or something worse-" He began to ramble on about how scared he was, but you cut him off by grabbing onto his hands again.

"I'll do it." You surprised yourself as you said the words to him, his eyes widened as he realised what you were agreeing to, agreeing to go back to him. 

"Y-You'll move back in?" He stuttered over his words as he got excited at the prospect of you coming back. You shook your head at him again - it was starting to make you dizzy.

"I have conditions first." You weren't going to go back there with his life the way it was.

"Anything," The door opened and the nurse came in with paperwork and ultrasound photos. You and Chan began making your way out of the hospital and towards your car. 

"No more secrets or schemes, no more guns in the house. If we're coming back I want- I want it to be a safe place." You stuttered a little as you realised what you were saying, then it hit Chan what you were saying. 

"The guns have to stay in the office at least, for our own protection," He counter-offered, you nodded in agreement with him. The finer details could be sorted out later when you were in the comfort of his home. That was probably the better option for his lifestyle, 

"That's your only condition?" You nodded along with him, it was the only thing that mattered to you. As long as the house was safe and ready for your baby you could do it. 

"I want a safe space for us too...All three of us." You looked up at him and he looked at your car that was waiting for you to get inside of, he smiled at the thought of you keeping it. It was the car he'd ordered one of the boys to drop off to you, he didn't want you walking everywhere or catching a bus when he knew you didn't have to. 

"Y/n?" You hummed, looking up at him again whilst unlocking the car. 

"I love you." Your heart swelled as you heard him tell you he loved you first, instead of you saying it first like the first time.  

"I love you too, Chan," You moved closer to him, before placing a small and gentle kiss on his lips, wrapping your arms around his neck and standing up on your tiptoes to reach him.

You weren't blind, you knew that there was going to be hard times coming for you and Chan with this baby and his lifestyle but right now you didn't care. 

There were still things you had to talk about, but all you could focus on, all that was keeping you sane throughout all of this, was knowing how much you loved Chan. How much Chan truly loved you and how much your future with him and his child was going to mean to you both. Nothing would ever compare to your love for Chan and you couldn't wait to spend the rest of your life with him.

A/N: I've never ever finished a fic before so I hope this is okay! I had a completely different ending for this but i hated it and reworked it the last week before it was uploaded! So let me know what you guys think! [Lol I simp i could never kill him]

Tagline: @moonprincessdiviniation my editor I have put through hell, @taestannie​ @kneel-begyourpardon​ @calling-dips-on-j-hope​ @hugs4chan​ @ncitythoughts @inseonqt​ @cloudsgathering​ @atletino​ @mischiefmakerliesmith5​ @freckledquokka @happygirl327​ @seraplantery​ @km-98​

[rhysismydaddy]

Bad Boys of Persia - Part One

Hi! This is a new fic about the ACOTAR ships (Feysand, Elriel, and Nessian). Since everyone always describes the men of this series as having dark hair and dark skin, I thought about how they could look Persian... and then since I’m five I thought about Prince of Persia, and here we are.

Ask in my box if you want to be tagged!

Part Two || Masterlist

Her entire body hurt.

From head to toe, Feyre could hardly move. 

She was laying in her hotel room, spread out on the bed like a starfish, groaning in pain. She glanced down at her bare body, grimacing at the bright red skin she saw. 

And she’d thought the sun in her hometown in Florida was brutal.

She’d only laid out in the sun for an hour, and yet Feyre was as crispy as a piece of fried chicken. She didn’t think an hour would even give her a tan, but it had been long enough to scorch her head to toe and leave her a pathetic mass of red flesh.

After a few minutes of feeling sorry for herself, Feyre got up and dressed in a pair of loose, dark blue genie pants and a long sleeve white shirt. It covered all of her skin but was loose enough to not irritate. She wrapped the navy sari Elain had bought her around her hair so her face wouldn’t get any more sun and headed out the door.

Feyre walked down to the front desk of the resort, asking if they had a store where she could buy aloe.

“What?” the man replied, looking at her like she was crazy.

“Aloe. For sunburn.” She pulled up her sleeve and showed him her burnt skin.

He chuckled. “Ah, white man’s disease. We don’t sell anything for that in the hotel, but you can go to the market and get herbs to help.” He pointed out the door towards the crowd of bustling people buying and selling materials.

Feyre grimaced. She hadn’t left the hotel since their arrival two days ago, something her sisters couldn’t believe. She weighed her options: she could go back to her room and lay around in misery or she could suck it up, go buy some aloe, and then lay around... a little less miserable.

She thought about the disapproving faces Elain and Nesta would give her as she told them she hadn’t left again and frowned. 

It wasn’t that Feyre was trying to ruin their trip; she really wasn’t. She just wasn’t in the mood to explore a new place and be outgoing right now. All Feyre felt like doing was laying in bed and crying.

It’d been three weeks since she’d broken off her engagement with Tamlin. Three weeks since she’d found her in bed with her best friend, Ianthe. They deserve each other, she thought bitterly.

Even though she accepted what had happened and knew it was over, it still hurt. She felt like she’d wasted two years of her life on someone who didn’t ever love her. She didn’t want to date again, she didn’t want to go through the first date nervousness or awkward dates or disappointing hookups. She’d thought she’d found “the one,” but all Feyre had figured out was that love was a lie.

She wanted to be like her sisters. 

Nesta was the oldest and strongest. She’d never allowed herself to get close to anyone, so she’d never had a broken heart. She was a complete badass and she knew it, too. She’d worked for the CIA for the past three years and in that time, had become invaluable to their overseas operations. 

Elain, the middle sister, was strong in a different way. She had perfect control over her emotions and had always been a bright, happy, and loving light in Feyre’s world. She ran her own restaurant in Florida and had become one of the most successful people in their area. Everyone loved Elain. 

Feyre felt like the disappointment of the family. Sure, she was successful in her work as an artist, but no one needed her or loved her like they did her sisters. Lives depended on Nesta, and everyone adored Elain. Feyre could drop off the face of the Earth and no one’s life would change.

She’d thought that Tamlin was the one person who understood her and needed her, but it turned out he’d just been using her.

Her sisters had tried to help when the breakup first happened, but Feyre was inconsolable. She wouldn’t leave bed and only got up to get more ice cream. 

Elain had been gentle and kind and suffocating while trying to get her to open up and tell her how she was feeling. Nesta, who’d always been bad with emotions, had just thrown a suitcase on her bed and begun packing half of Feyre’s closet.

“What are you doing?” she’d asked, sniffling and wiping tears off her face.

“You, me, and Elain are going to Persia.”

“What? What do you mean we’re going to Persia?” she’d asked.

Nesta had sighed dramatically. “We’re getting on a plane. I have to go for work, and I talked my boss into giving me two extra tickets. We leave in three hours. Get up and take a shower.”

“No, Nesta, I’m not going anywhere.”

“I am not letting you die in this bed because some ugly, stupid little fucker cheated on you. Get the fuck up.”

When she hadn’t, Nesta had yelled at her and literally dragged her out of the bed and into the shower, then turned the faucet on, ignoring Feyre’s protests. 

Three hours later and many arguments, thrown shoes, and explicit gestures later, Feyre was sitting with her sisters on a plane, annoyed she’d given in.

“It’s going to be so good for you, Feyre,” Elain had promised. “Nesta is going to have fun at work, I’m going to have fun stuffing my face, and you’re going to have fun looking at art.”

She’d closed her eyes and tried to ignore her sister’s aggressive happiness. 

Thirteen hours later, Feyre was checking into the hotel suite she was sharing with Elain. Nesta, who was going undercover apparently, would be staying at a place provided by her boss, so it was just the two of them. 

Elain had thrown her suitcase on her bed and immediately gone out to the market, coming back with an armful of different foods. 

“It’s so nice out there, Feyre,” she’d said, a bright smile lighting up her face. “You should check it out.”

Feyre had just crawled into her bed, closing her bedroom door.

Two days later, not much had changed.

Feyre glanced back out at the market, noticing the chaos of too many people shouting at each other, decided facing a crowd was better than facing her sisters disappointment, and headed outside. 

As Nesta walked through the open market of Suza, Persia, she couldn’t help but feel like a failure. 

Her boss had been understanding yesterday when she’d reported no new information, but Nesta hated being a disappointment.

Especially with this important of a case. Especially when thirteen girls were still missing. 

She was hunting a human trafficking group that had taken over a dozen girls out of their bed within the past two weeks.

This was one of the most important cases Nesta had ever worked, and it all had rested on her being able to sell a story.

Nesta was bait.

Their entire operation rested on her getting the groups attention and getting kidnapped. She had a chip permanently implanted in her left heel--somewhere people were less likely to search--and the idea was that Nesta would allow them to take her, make sure she could get a visual on the other thirteen girls, then cut the tracker. 

Lucien, one of the IT guys she worked with, would be able to tell where the signal had been cut and would send her team in. 

All she had to do was get kidnapped. 

But it was proving more difficult than she’d anticipated. She’d been here for two days, and she hadn’t felt threatened in the slightest. The city was beautiful and clean and the people she’d met so far had been friendly.

Nesta was determined to make something happen today, though. 

She’d made sure to put on more makeup than usual, drawing more attention to her, and had pulled her hijab back far enough to show off her blonde hair. She was wearing a short jean skirt and a tank top, more skin than a lot of other women were showing. 

She was sauntering through Suza, looking like a naive, young, tourist, when she noticed three men, siting in a cafe at the edge of the market, looking at her.

One of them nodded and raised an eyebrow flirtatiously, and Nesta forced herself to smile broadly. 

She could see why so many women had fallen in his trap. He was gorgeous in a dangerous, exotic way. His skin was the deepest shade of caramel, hair long and curly, and body was lined with thick muscle. His eyes, the most alluring part of him, were a deep golden color, rimmed with thick eyelashes and eyebrows.

He was the most beautiful man Nesta had ever seen.

She had to restrain herself from spitting on him.

She waved and kept walking, slow enough that they could easily tail her. Only the man who’d nodded got up, though. Apparently, they thought he could handle her alone.

She made sure to ignore him as she walked back to her apartment, almost rolling her eyes at how bad of a tail the man following her was.

Nesta even made sure to take a few selfies in front of pretty buildings to really sell the story.

She went inside the apartment--the CIA kept a few in Persia for operations like this--washed up, laid in bed, and waited.

Three hours later, she heard the lock to her loft click open. She closed her eyes, ignoring the almost-silent footsteps she heard the stranger take toward her closed door.

When her door creaked open, Nesta forced herself to snore softly. 

His heavy hand clamped a cloth drenched in chloroform over her mouth, and as Nesta began to lose consciousness, she looked into his beautiful, sad eyes and thought, I’ll kill you. I don’t care what it’s going to take.

The man thought he’d caught his prey, but what he didn’t know was the girl he carried down the stairs and out into the night was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. One who wanted nothing more than to destroy his life.

Elain floated through the market, tilting her face towards the scorching sun and smiling. The hot air was full of scents of dried meat, cumin, roasting vegetables, and black pepper. 

As soon as they’d landed, Elain had gone to the nearest restaurant she could find and stuffed her face. 

She’d eaten somewhere different for breakfast lunch and dinner both the days she’d been here, making sure to talk to the chefs whenever she could.

Her travel journal was full of new recipes and spices and ways of cooking. 

This was her favorite part of traveling. Seeing how different people made food and learning how to make her own dishes better.

She walked along the street, then spotted a small, open restaurant on the corner. Morrigan, the sign read. It seemed quiet and authentic and quaint, so Elain walked in and sat at an empty table.

She loved the place before she even ordered. The walls were brick, a large mural covering one, and there was a small corner with a wood fireplace. The people were all talking softly, and traditional Benju music was playing over the speakers quietly. 

It was serene and peaceful. The entire restaurant was there to appreciate the food. It was the kind of place Elain wanted her restaurant to be. 

A server came up a few moments later, dressed in black pants and a flowing black top, her hijab a dark blue color, bringing out the teal of her eyes. She was beautiful in a classic way. 

She asked if Elain spoke Persian, and she responded a little.

“I speak little English,” she said apologetically.

Elain shook her head. “Don’t apologize for your culture. I’m in your country. We’ll just do our best.”

She asked the woman what her favorite dish was, and she smiled and recommended the Dizi, a traditional Persian dish named after the stone crock it’s cooked in. 

She wisely listened to the recommendation, and ten minutes later, Elain was eating the best stew she’d ever had in her life.

The chickpeas were soft but not soggy, the chicken was tender and flavored to perfection, and the base was powerful but not overwhelming. There was something else she couldn’t quite place, something she’d never tasted before. 

She dipped a piece of naan into the mixture, smiling happily.

After she’d downed the whole bowl, Elain decided she had to meet the creator of the dish. As she was paying her bill, she asked her server if the restaurant owner was here in her broken Persian. 

She shook her head and responded, “No, but he’ll be here tonight.”

Elain debated her options. She’d vowed to not eat at the same place twice, but she’d also vowed to talk to chefs whenever she could. And she knew when he was coming in...

She didn’t let her self debate for long. She wanted to know what the secret ingredient was and applaud the chef, even if he wouldn’t tell her.

After going back to the hotel, she took a long bath and recorded what she’d done that day in her journal. She pulled her hair back, then put on jeans and a white blouse, slipping her hair under a pink hijab that matched her lipstick. 

She smiled at her reflection before going to see Feyre in her adorning room. Elain knocked softly on the door between their rooms, going in when she didn’t hear an answer.

She walked into her bedroom, eyebrows lifting when she saw the bed was empty. “Feyre?” she called out, then smiled when no one answered. 

She went out.

Elain went back into her room, grabbed her purse and--rolling her eyes--the pepper spray Nesta had forced her to bring, then walked out of the hotel.

She smiled when she walked back into Morrigan, inhaling the smell of roasted turkey and vegetables and spices. After she got seated and looked at the menu, she ordered pomegranate soup, another Persian classic she hadn’t tried yet.

“And I’d love to meet the chef if he has a moment,” she said. 

Her server looked down at the ground, nodded, and said, “I’ll see if he has a moment.”

When her soup was brought out, she became more determined to meet him. She’d thought the pomegranate would be overwhelming with all the other ingredients, but the seeds added a crunchiness and fruity flavor to the otherwise dense stew. 

She motioned her server over and asked, “Is the chef available?” as she gave him money for the soup.

“He’s in the back,” he muttered, motioning towards a dim alley leading to a back exit.

“Can I go back there?”

He shrugged, slipped her a receipt, and walked away. 

That was strange, Elain thought, but shook the thought away as she got up and began to walk towards the back rooms of the restaurant.

The Persian symbol for “management” was written on a black door, so Elain knocked and waited for an answer.

A few moments later, she knocked again. She could see someone was there; light was coming out from underneath the door. 

Maybe he couldn’t hear her over the restaurant’s music? She tried the door handle, surprised to find it unlocked.

“Hi,” she called out in Persian as she opened the door, then froze as she beheld what was in front of her.

Her server from earlier that day was sitting on a chair, topless, clutching the huge, jagged wound across her stomach. Tears were streaming down her face as someone knelt in front of her, dabbing the area with a wet towel.

The man dropped the towel as he saw Elain, spun around, and was in front of her before she could mutter another word. He slapped the door closed, and walked forward, Elain backing away, until her back hit the frame. 

His hands planted themselves on either side of her head. 

“What are you doing in here?” he asked, voice low and heavy with a thick Persian accent. 

Elain felt like a lamb caught in a lion’s teeth. Her heart started racing and she realized she was utterly alone here. She couldn’t breathe, let alone answer his question. 

His blue eyes bore into hers, and he growled, “Answer the fucking question.” 

“I was just looking for the chef,” she blurted. “I’m a cook; I just wanted to meet the chef.”

He stopped short at that, a strange look--pride?--in his eyes for a split second. 

Then the anger was back.

“Get out,” he growled, swinging the door open.

“Is she okay? Should we take her to a hospital?”

The wound looked deep and swollen; she definitely needed medical attention. And was that... was that a bloody nail  on the ground next to her? What the hell was going on?”

Anger took over, and before Elain could talk herself down, she was shoving past him, and kneeling next to the woman, inspecting the wound closer. 

“Did you do this to her?” she yelled at the man still standing at the door. 

It was his turn to get angry. He surged forward and grabbed her arm before opening the door with such energy, he almost ripped it off the hinges. 

“Get the fuck out. And don’t come back.”

She looked at the woman again, the tears flowing freely down her beautiful face, and vowed to get her out of this place. I’m not someone you fuck with, she thought angrily as he slammed the door in her face. And I’m sure as hell going to be back.

________________________________________________________________

Thank you for reading! Part Two.

[deathduty]

Chill! At the Sudoku || Alain & Deirdre

Alain and Deirdre enjoy the wonders of Sudoku together! Except they’re in a cemetery at night and Alain hates Deirdre’s “wanting to see someone get eaten” guts.

Gallow’s Grove was nice, as far as cemeteries went. The feeling of death was strong, washing over Deirdre far before she even set foot inside. The urge to let her eyes roll back into blackness and see all the the cemetery had to offer was strong, but the danger of letting a man like Alain see her out-ruled it. It was more work than she bargained for, trying to see what Alain was all about; what kind of a man agreed to a thing like this, anyway? Thankfully, she didn’t have to think about it for long. Glancing up with her flashlight and Sudoku booklet, she smiled at the man as he approached. He looked like the pictures she’s seen online, though nicer in person. “I didn’t think you’d come,” she confessed, hoping the darkness hid her mischievous grin. She knew Alain wasn’t going to die, there would have been a scream out her throat if he was, but even so she delighted in all the possibilities the evening brought with it. “I thought a cemetery would be too scary for you,” she teased, snapping away from her thoughts. “Did you bring your Sudoku?”

Alain, although his eyes did not require him to use any device in order to see, was carrying a flashlight with him, to keep appearances normal. Obviously, if a vampire decided to come by and say hello, his cover would be probably blown, as he would have a lot of trouble rationalizing why he was carrying stakes and a coutelas. Oh well, the woman was rather rude, and he doubted they would get along. In fact, he only had come here to keep her alive, if he was not too late. As soon as he arrived, he looked at her from head to toe. A part of him expected her to look entirely different, considering she was probably a professional con artist, but it made sense. Only a pretty white woman could get away with this kind of bullshit. “Yet here I am,” he wondered for a moment why she was harboring such a smile on her face. This could not be good news. The hunter looked around him. Maybe she did not come alone. Still, there was nothing. His radar was silent too, which was good news, for them. “What gave you the impression that I would be scared by a cemetery ?” His eyebrows raised with false surprise. Her question had him scoff. Of course she would make people pay, and also bring their own supplies. This was ridiculous, and a part of him almost regretted coming here instead of leaving her to be torn to shreds. Yes, that was not very nice of him. Another part of him felt guilty he ever thought such a thing. No one deserved to die. “Yes, I figured that you would provide them,” rolling his eyes because he knew that he couldn’t be seen behaving poorly, the hunter pulled a sudoku book from his coat, along with a pen. “Now what?”

‘Now what’ was a good question, Deirdre really didn’t think she’d get this far. She’d hoped, of course, but like all things she hoped for, she was rightfully cautious. “Most men find cemeteries to be scary,” she added, casually flipping through her Sudoku booklet. “I figured, since you’re so old, you might want to play it safe, live what little of your years you have left in the safety and warmth of your home.” Was it odd to lure a human to a place she knew to be teeming with vampires just to watch him struggle? Maybe. Maybe it went against her carefully crafted rules, but her stay in White Crest could do with some excitement. Besides, this Alain seemed to be a little more than what he claimed, and curiosity alone propelled her forward. “I’m joking!” She added with a forced smile a moment later, “I’m happy you’re here! Doing Sudoku gets so lonely. I guess now we just do math in silence? Maybe we should trade secrets? You tell me something devastating and I’ll try my best not to turn around and share it online. Hey, do you believe in vampires?”

“Well I’m hurt. People usually think I’m younger than my age,” Alain’s eyebrow raised, a shrug followed, and he had a look around. There was no way he would sit down on a tombstone. That would be too disrespectful and he had been taught better. Her explanation that men usually were scared of cemeteries did not really convince him, but he didn’t comment on that, or on that creepy thing about enjoying the few years he had left. What the fuck was that? Who said shit like this, the hunter asked himself. She probably was trying to spook him, he figured, and so he gave her a grimace of disapproval. “And that is supposed to be worth $20?” Scoffing, he flipped through the pages of his booklet, until she started, seemingly out of the blue, mentioning vampires. Original. “Why do you ask? So you can tell people online that I believe in them? Or maybe you brought me here because you thought there would be vampires?” He raised an eyebrow at his sudoku grid, filling out a blank space.

“Can’t imagine why they’d think that,” she hummed, starting on her own Sudoku. Deirdre was seated comfortably on the gravestone of someone whose name she didn’t care to learn, one leg crossed over the other and attired in a dress that didn’t suit the grime and dirt of the cemetery. She always did delight in looking better than her surroundings; she delighted in being better in every way imaginable. “Why? You’re not having fun? Oh! Look I finished a row. Keep up, Alain.” She grinned, working through her puzzle with ease--a nonchalance she only vaguely knew was odd. “I asked just because I’m curious. I’ve heard rumor this place has a lot of them.” She filled another square. “So I thought I’d make conversation. This is what makes the experience worth twenty dollars...you get this colorful commentary!” Another square. Another row. The pen she had moved with a kind of vivacity she reserved only for Sudoku. “I don’t see you trying to make conversation here. Do you believe in vampires?”

"Me neither," she was too damn rude and part of him wondered if she should not be the one paying for other people's company. Alain glared at her as she sat down on someone's grave, blowing through his nose as if to suggest that he was just about to go and leave her to die like a piece of garbage. Why was he here again? Oh right. Because he was supposed to protect humans. Well she was a bloody demon. "Not really. I'm bored to be completed candid," he glanced down at her sudoku grid. "Should I give you a medal for doing one single row?" Rolling his eyes, again. This was going to be the worst evening he had in a while, wasn't it. Or maybe not. "You've heard well. They usually get out of their coffins when the sun has entirely vanished beyond the horizon. I wonder where they are tonight." Maybe they saw you and left, struck with terror, he almost added. No she did not deserve his sympathy. And at least he did not have to struggle about whether he should trust or not. "I do believe in vampires, and so do you, am I correct?" He had some trouble with one of the 3x3 square of his grid, and his brows furrowed as he tried to figure where he went wrong. Maybe was it his radar going on and off that disturbed him, or his questionable company…

Deirdre got the striking impression that this man wasn’t enjoying this as much as she was. If she cared at all about making humans happy, she might have apologized. She might have tried to mold herself into being better company for him. She didn’t care, and so she simply sat on the gravestone and finished off her puzzle with a saccharine grin. “Well, I’m sorry. Should I take off my clothes? Usually that spices up an evening.” She paused, glancing up at the moon above them. “I’d like a medal, I’d like a medal for a lot of things” she responded in a moment of seriousness, considering the nature of being praised silently in her head. Thoughts of medals and ribbons left her head as she glanced back down at him, lifting up her flashlight to flash it around the cemetery. He was right about one thing: where were the vampires? “I don’t believe in vampires,” she explained, “that’d be like believing in a tomato. You don’t believe in anything that’s real.” Of course, it was how she’d worded the question in the first place but she wasn’t going to comment on her motivations. “Huh, maybe the math scared them off. Vampires certainly lack a little...brain,” Deirdre spoke a little louder, hoping to anger the right kind of egotistical new vampire. “Oh, the answer for that one is six, by the way,” she pointed to a square, “and the one over there is three.”

“Whatever floats your boat,” she would find him to be less interested than he was now, the sight of bare skin leaving him completely stoic in most occasions. “You might catch a cold, however. We wouldn’t want that to happen,” he dryly went on, scribbling over a 3 to turn it into an 8. Alain could tell from a tone that she thought so highly of herself that she probably would have accepted a medal for breathing. Well, she certainly was not raised in the same kind of household as him. Spoiled brat, he thought to himself, only lifting his eyes because his radar was back on, and this time not switching back off. “I would not bet on that. You are thinking zombies,” technically spawns were as dumb as a doornail, but that should not mean that they weren’t dangerous. “That’s great, but I think you’ve managed to draw their attention toward you,” a couple of Vampires along with a handful of spawns were approaching the pair, and Alain saw himself stand up and shove Deirdre off her tombstone in order to get her behind him. “Do you think you could run?” His voice now a whisper, the hunter glanced around, looking for more of these things.

Deirdre pouted. Alain was no fun, and she’d finished her Sudoku a while ago. He wasn’t being horribly maimed, and she couldn’t even get to bask in visions of death when she wanted it. Now he was denying her a chance for nudity? Humans could be so boring. At the very least he could have indulged that for her. “Oh, I don’t get cold…” she sighed wearily, about one more exaggerated display of annoyance away from actually fainting. “Any undead creature is idiotic. Zombies and the other twenty kinds of vampires, or whatever.” She sighed, again, clearly growing increasingly bored until Alain jolted up, shoving her aside. At that, Deirdre smirked, normal humans didn’t put themselves between vampires---normal humans wouldn’t be able to notice them in the dark, anyway. She’d felt the chill of them minutes ago, the only thing she was surprised about was being shoved. “Oh, I knew it!” she taunted back, “no bloody idiot comes to a cemetery at night unless he wants to see boobs or knows how to stake a vampire.” Alain wouldn’t die today, that much she knew. Those creatures were a different story, however, and it was one she was keen on witnessing. “Run and miss watching those things die?” she whispered back, happy to sit back and watch as the creatures of the night pulled closer to them. She might not have thought humans were particularly useful, and she might not have agreed with ‘slayers’, but she didn’t like the undead much---for obvious reasons. What was a little death to her, anyway?

“ Why ? Because you are dead inside?” Alain’s eyebrows raised and his eyes rolled so high he could have been able to tell which were the stars visible in the sky tonight. She was not making any sense. First she did not believe in vampires, and now she was aware that there were many kinds, and that most of them were stupid. Full of shit, she was. “Will you shut your goddamn mouth? Nothing useful as gotten out of it since the minute I got here,” even if he whispered those words, they came out as harsh. He did not make it an habit of getting angry, but his last nerve had been hit right now. Who the hell did she think she was, luring people into coming here so they could get killed by vampires ? Was she working with them? She spoke again and his hypothesis fell into a puddle. Nope, not helping them. A strong taste for the macabre, probably. Still, she had something fucked up about her, and it rubbed him the wrong way. Maybe he could find time to discuss it later, for now, he had to get rid of them. His jaw still clenched with annoyance, he asked : “What were you going to do against these had I been one of those losers looking for nudity ?” He was extremely upset that she thought for a second that he was this kind of person, then, did he really care about her opinion? “Do you even know how to defend yourself?” Probably not. And the first spawn was already rushing toward them. The hunter felt the sting of its claw on his shoulder and grunted as he swung his own hand toward that creature’s neck, stabbing and cutting the head off with the short sword. Rolling his wounded shoulder to make sure it was okay, Alain swiped his foot across the pile of ash, and gave a look at the rest of them, a big smile on his face. “Don’t keep me waiting like that, bring it on.”

“Actually, yes! I am dead on the inside,” Deirdre retorted, whatever feeling that she got that this guy hated was quickly replaced with the fact that he definitely did. Oh well, she wasn’t here to make friends. And certainly not with the ‘kills vampires’ kind. As he fought, Deirdre flipped calmly through her Sudoku booklet, trying to find another puzzle to do in the meantime. “I came prepared,” Deirdre smiling, filling out a row and then a column. Deirdre wasn’t the best fighter, but it really didn’t matter with her abilities...or the obvious fact that when it came to the undead, the fast-beating heart of a human was the more alluring target than hers. Even now, the creatures found themselves more enticed by lightly wounded Alain--the scent of his blood no doubt permeating through heavy night air. “Yeah, bring it on,” she half-cheered, half-yawned, not bothering to look up from her puzzle. Another box filled out. Then a row. She did have her knife with her (never mind where she kept it when the only thing she’d worn was a jacket and a dress) she could help, but Alain seemed capable enough. A column. Another row. She was done the puzzle. “Are you done yet, Alain? I need a ride.”

"Elle va fermer sa putain de gueule?" Was he really above murdering someone he shouldn't be? Heh, he had done it before. And if he threw a spawn at her, was he truly responsible for what would follow? He would not feel responsible. Non. Alain smiled to himself, kicking away the beast and turning to check on her briefly. Was she doing more puzzles? His cheek stung as he was hit in the face by that same spawn he shove away. Well that would teach him. His blood felt warm against his cheek, dripping from the shallow cut. Great. Alright, he was done caring for this woman. Slashing open the spawn's abdomen, he ignored the creature's shriek and instead switched for the stake (he'd never been to fond of those but they could come in handy) pushing it under the flesh until he only had dust left in his hands. Another spawn came at him and another, and they found the same fate, again and again, and again. The two higher vampires had stayed behind, expecting, he assumed, that spawns would do their dirty work for them. The advantage with those vampires who still had their wits, was that they usually thought themselves to be really clever, when really, they were usually average and garbage when it came to strategy. This would not take too long. Then he would deal with that woman.

Fortunately for Alain, Deirdre’s French wasn’t what it used to be. Though she didn’t guess he was saying anything nice. She hadn’t led him here to die (well, she had in some way, the fact that he wasn’t going to was a disappointment she hid poorly) and she thought that might have made some sort of a difference to him. Bored, she glanced up in time to watch his face get slashed, hissing out sympathy for him. She didn’t notice the two vampires approaching around her sides, all feelings washed out by the general sense of death around her. With a growl, they tore the puzzle book from her hands and bared fangs she didn’t care for. Somehow, she got the impression that swinging around her knife wasn’t going to make them go away. “Cover your ears, Alain,” she called out, not bothering to check if he had. With the same practiced ease she’d been filling out puzzles, she opened her mouth and wailed. Stunned into fear, the vampires stumbled backwards before scrambling up to run away. “Not so hard,” she turned to the hunter, “If it’s any consolation here, I’m not a fan of the undead either.” She dug into her pockets and pulled out a handkerchief, holding it out and pointing to his cheek. “Those vampires did steal my Sudoku book so I do expect to be compensated, though.” Even though this was all her idea.

Alain had not noticed that they had taken an interest in Deirdre. Of course someone who was not waving a sword and a stake around probably was more interesting. They must have known that he would make a very poor meal. If he could have been satisfied to see that damn sudoku booklet taken away from her, this was not the case. His instinct still told him that he should have been protecting her from that. “Cover my ears?” His hand went from his cheek to his ear, and the other dropped the stake to cover the other, still it was not enough to shield him completely from her … vocals. Jesus Christ, what the hell was that? “Bravo Celine,” he replied with a Quebec accent, taking the handkerchief with a puzzled look on his face. He was not sure what shocked him the most : her screaming or her gesture of kindness. “Well look at you being nice. I knew you had it in you,” he gave her a smug smile. Laughing light heartedly, he walked back to pick up his weapons and put them away. “Let me guess, it was worth $19.99,” he glanced at the dust the spawn had turned into. “You know, if you sell that dust, you’ll have your money, probably more than what that book was worth.”

“I wasn’t being nice this whole time?” Deirdre smirked at him, navigating around piles of dust she glanced between them and him. “You’d think I’m so desperate I’d start selling drugs? I have heard it's great for the skin though…” And she might just have bent down to scoop some into her pocket. It could be useful, at some point. Deirdre rolled back her shoulders, stretching her arms like a cat after a particularly long nap. “Who spends that much on a Sudoku--oh, never mind. Did you drive here? I wasn’t kidding about needing a ride.” She moved up beside him, a smile on her face, “I like Céline. I think we can be very good friends, Alain.” Of course, the smile betrayed no sort of friendly intention. Only the kinds of intentions that lead to a fun time: like watching him get eaten, or kill things that did the eating. In her mind though, this meeting could only mean good things for the both of them.

[torippiyos]

Ota Motohiro in TAIPEI Fanmeeting Report!

Mokkun had two fanmeets in Taipei on the 3rd of February, and they’re his first fanmeetings overseas! I was on a trip with my friends during that time so I managed to go for the first session (thank you to my wonderful friends for indulging me and sending me to the convention centre i love all of you). My Chinese and Japanese aren’t the best so I tried my very best to understand and write down whatever I could remember! (so i’m writing this on the train right after lol)

He had quite a lot of merch lined up which included plastic folders of his Gekkan photoshoot, and about 6-8 sets of bromides? I was almost late so I bought one set of bromides for 300NTD and a cheki opportunity for 500NTD.

To start the fanmeeting off we were told to call out “Mokkun!” in the loudest and cutest voice before he emerged. He tweeted that he had specially bought nice clothes for the fanmeet in Taiwan since it was his first international one, and I really wouldn’t have guessed what it was because he turned up in a suit that was all black (including his inner shirt) and his blazer was GLITTERING lol quite extra but really nice!

The first segment was a few questions about Taiwan since he had only arrived the day before. He said that he went to Jiufen the day before and he didn’t expect it to be so windy and it was also raining a lot, so everyone had their umbrellas up and he thought it was kind of dangerous lol but he ate a lot of really good food there too. I don’t actually remember most of the questions during this segment because he was talking a /lot/ and he even apologised to the translators about it lol He was also surprised that most of the audience understood Japanese to a certain degree since we were all reacting to what he was saying without needing the translator. He also noted how Taiwan is a lot like Japan, and the entire atmosphere feels very familiar.

He talked a lot about food too. He was having dim sum the day before and he was served buns with a custard filling (im not sure how to explain it in a non chinese way but it’s like nikuman but with custard filling instead) and it was served in the bamboo steamer like the rest of the savoury dishes. When he bit into it it kind of exploded (?) and ran down onto his clothes lol He was wondering if it was meant to be a dessert separate from the rest of the dim sum, and when the audience replied him in Japanese before the translator could translate for us, he jumped out of his seat and yelled “Hey, you guys really CAN understand Japanese!”

The emcee also asked if anyone went to greet him at the airport, and Mokkun seemed to really appreciate it, and the she also asked if anyone came from overseas in which there were only about three, including myself. When I responded with 新加坡 he said シンガポール！ありがとうございます (so i was quite happy about that hehe) Mokkun himself also did a small poll on the different plays which the audience first heard of him, most from Tenimyu, followed by Toumyu, Pedasute, and a small handful from Messiah, Kurobasu and Kuroshitsuji.

For the second segment they played a behind the scenes video of Mokkun during his Gekkan and calendar photoshoot in Vietnam and it was really adorable~ And everyone was more or less commentating on it. In Vietnam, Mokkun ate a LOT of coriander/cilantro and he really liked it, even eating it by itself (something i don’t understand how anyone does) and he said he’ll eat anything with coriander in it/smells like there’s coriander in it, to the point where he feels like some kind of animal eating grass wwww

When it came to clips of that One Really Pretty Outfit the audience went “woo~” and he “woo~”ed back, but the second time they did it he got embarrassed. At this point in the video they showed him with his newly bought hand fan which he was Very amused by and now keeps in his home.

The third segment was fan questions, although I’m not entirely sure where they picked the questions from. (i apologise for the answers being in third person, i don’t want to misquote him because of my bad memory)

Q: What foods are you looking forward to eating in Taiwan, or if you have arrived, what foods have you eaten?

A: He mentioned the dim sum and custard bun, and that he’s also looking forward to/had also eaten chou tofu (smelly bean) and he was quite surprised by the strong scent.

Q: What made you decide to get into 2.5D productions?

A: Back then the industry wasn’t really called 2.5D, but he made his debut with Tenimyu and decided to carry on with that.

Q: What was your first reaction to/impression of Sengo Muramasa?

A: He was shocked when he saw that he was casted as Sengo, because he felt that he was nothing like Sengo looks and personality-wise after seeing the official illustration. He really thought it was a mistake and he wanted to bring it up to the producers, but since rehearsals were starting in two weeks he decided not to lol. He also said that because most of Team Mihotose is on the serious side, he wanted to make Sengo a different but interesting standout.

Q: Prior to your casting in Toumyu, which other swords would you have wanted to be casted as?

A: He hadn’t really thought about what other characters he could’ve possibly played, but maybe Ookurikara because he’s so cool! He also really likes the black, gold, and red colour scheme so possibly Kashuu too.

(The next question is where my brain blanked and got jumbled up but it was about cross-dressing and Anna Edelman from Magdala da Maria Live)

Because of time constraints, the emcee skipped to the final question which she felt all of us wanted to see (which we did www) which was...

Q: Please show us a sexy pose.

A: For some reason, when he thinks of a sexy pose he thinks of licking or sticking out the tongue (like Hanamiya Makoto from Kurobasu, he said, but that ones a bit gross huh). He seemed embarrassed but in the end he chose to lick his finger sjfkskfjfkf mokkun pls

Forgive me if I get the order mixed up, but the next segment was a game that Mokkun could play with the audience, where he had to find out who was the wolf among the red riding hoods from 5 participants. (I would’ve gone but I barely understood the description of the game at the beginning lol) He had 3 guesses to get it right if not there would be a punishment game (which everyone was eager to see). I swear this man knows he is ultimately Very Sexy so when asked the five of them “Are you the wolf?” he got really close to their faces so they’d crack. In the end he got it right on the last guess so everyone was vaguely disappointed hehe

The next segment I believe was where we could ask Mokkun to say something in Chinese, and the first thing that was requested was 我今晚不让你回家 (I won’t let you go home tonight) (“Huh? Why is this so erotic lol” -Mokkun upon hearing the translation and learning how to say it) and someone else shouted NUGIMASHOUKA and without needing someone to tell him how to say it in Chinese and without hesitation he said 我们一起脱下吧！The only other two things he remembers how to say in Chinese are “Hello everyone” and “Thank you” wwww

Since Mokkun was in Jiufen the day before, he bought five fans for his fans (haha get it), signed and all and there was a lucky draw done with the ticket stubs. The Big prize was an alarm clock also signed by Mokkun, and the lucky person who’s stub was drawn got to get a personalised wake up call recorded on the clock. While deciding on what he should say that one same person shouted 我不让你起床 (I won’t let you wake up) (“Hey seriously?”)

The next segment was a free photo taking event, which I was slightly surprised was a thing, where he just went around the room striking Very Cute poses. We can’t post any of them online at all but I have about 50 photos of him in my phone now lol if I had a better seat there would definitely be more. Mokkun said he’d never done stuff like this in Japan but he was quite happy to be able to do it now.

With that it more or less concluded the fanmeet. Mokkun was very grateful to those who showed up and supported him, and that we’ll continue to watch future productions he’s in. He also slipped in a promotion to by the UtaPri DVD lol

Oh and there was the cheki segment at the end! Everyone except for around five people bought the cheki, and we had the option to either do a peace sign with Mokkun or a heart, and you can probably tell what everyone went for wwww afterwards we got to high-five him. It was my first cheki ever so I was nervous especially since everyone else looked really good and cute?? Also I am Quite Small so Mokkun did feel quite tall to me. When we leaned in to do the heart he really did smell very nice~ (“you smell like shit” -me to my friend wearing dior @ prom) And his smile was absolutely gorgeous I’m glad I got to look at it up close..

First fanmeet experience was great and I’m really glad I seized the opportunity~ I’ve really loved Mokkun since getting into 2.5D with Pedasute so I’m really happy I got to see him IRL.

[dcnativegal]

In which a small, stalwart group of LGBTQ folks step OUT on the County stage...

In the midst of a flurry of mostly positive but some very negative Facebook posts on “Lakeview Announcements” about an LGBTQ-friendly Halloween party, I received a text from a friend who is a native of Lakeview:

 A small group of out gay people who live in Lakeview, and Valerie & I, the Paisley Lesbians, had gathered in June, in secret, to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots. That historical event in New York City in 1969 marked the beginning of the end of police brutality against non-straight people and is commemorated in the annual Gay Pride festivals that happen around the world. I invited the 20 or so gay people I know personally to attend, and asked a young college student who know people below age 30 to help me: that way, a younger group would feel welcome amongst the graying fairies, femmes and dykes. My church, the one I have chosen to embrace and which has embraced me, is St. Luke’s Episcopal Church in Lakeview, and there was whole-hearted approval of use the hall across to the Sanctuary. On Sunday, June 28th, a couple dozen queers and allies gathered for a potluck and had a great time. One of the older members of the community marveled at how many of us there were. Straight members of St. Luke’s also came and asked how they could be more supportive. We decided to aim for a Halloween get together, and make it open to the public, straight or not straight.

I also started a private Facebook group in which everyone who agreed to be a member was ‘outed’ only to the other members of the group as either a lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans or queer person, or a strong ally.

I’ve pointed out before that if 5% of Oregon is queer, then there are 350 queer people missing from Lake County. Those missing people grew up here, figured out they are not-straight, which is no easy task in this heteronormative world, and then decamped to more rainbow-colored pastures. Hundreds of them.

The Halloween party began shaping up nicely. I came up with a flyer:

I pasted this image into Lakeview Announcements on Facebook, the single best way to get the word out about any event in Lakeview. Not everyone uses that social media platform, but everyone knows someone who does. I also posted it on Christmas Valley 1, For Sale in Paisley, and the Bly Community Page, also on Facebook, and got almost no response.

At first, the comments on Lakeview Announcements came in with a mixture of surprise and delight. Straight people said they’d come. My flyer said explicitly that the gathering was to be kid-friendly and alcohol free. There was also some backlash.

One man did not understand that it was an all-inclusive event, and did not like that it was being hosted in a church. He objected to the party being expressly welcoming to LGBTQ as well as straight people.

Many people helped him to see that everyone was indeed invited and welcome, and, since it’s a gay friendly church that was hosting the event, he piped down.

Then there were the more problematic comments.

Yet another poster equated being gay as just another sin such as having an affair, cussing, judging or gossiping. She would still magnanimously ‘help’ me if I needed it.

Then a young gay college student chimed in:

 Hers is a defense along the lines of ‘live and let live’ while ‘helping gay kids not to kill themselves.’ (I hope I’m a therapist who ‘really understand(s).)

A (presumably) straight gal added her theology of welcome and inclusion, placing the LGBTQ among the outcasts:

 I hope ‘salvation’ in her estimation does not mean ‘straightness.’ Hard to know. But still, some love in her response.

And then there was this:

No better place to share joy, indeed.

A lesbian adds her perspective:

The next post broke my heart a little:

I eventually posted about Soulforce, a pro-LGBTQ, biblically-based resource, not so much to convince the selective readers of Leviticus (those who condemn men who lie with men but still eat shellfish and cotton blend shirts), but to reach out to any queer person who did not know there is another way to look at scripture besides the ‘gays are abominations’ one.

 Ultimately, there were 101 comments in response to my invitation, posted October 8th. The overwhelming tone was tolerance, if not joyful celebration.

 Given the minority opinions of negativity, I sent a copy of the invitation to the Sheriff in   Lakeview, asking the deputies to drive by during the party. A friend from the Paisley Book Club, who lives in Summer Lake, volunteered to act as security, and he showed up, dutifully watched everyone going in the church, and nearly froze in the 18-degree weather.  I confess that I was anxious about a protest outside the church, or some misguided cowboy aiming to rescue the children from the pedophiles. The worse-case scenario: Westboro Baptist Church would fly in to protest.

Despite my fears, the party was a success. Over 40 people came. The small children enjoyed drawing, making things with glue and paper, and pinning the stem on the pumpkin. Teenagers came, ate pizza, and played with their phones. Allies came in costume, and queer folks relaxed. Members of St. Luke’s came in costume, too. Valerie wore a onesie monkey suit. 

I am deeply relieved that there was no protest or disruption. The very first gay-friendly event in all of Lake County’s history came off without a hitch.

During the last hour of the party, a young, slender, androgynous looking person came in the door of the church and looked tentatively around. I welcomed her and asked about her costume, which was subtle. She said she was ‘just an ordinary guy’ – she’d dressed as an ordinary straight male would.  Julia Braudy noticed her and came up to welcome her. Later Julia told me that they’d met and she’d figured out this was a young lesbian. Julia encouraged her to come to the party but figured she probably wouldn’t. The fact that she showed up, was welcomed and praised, and stayed until the end, was reason enough to have spent $200 on rainbow & Halloween décor. (I kinda overdid it on the rainbows.)

Our Halloween Party got a mention in the Lake County Examiner. I would wager that this is the very first time the letters “LGBTQ”, placed exactly in that order, have been mentioned in the paper:

I shared the elaborately edited screen captures of Facebook responses to show the revelation of  where Lakeview residents are along the continuum of acceptance:  From the accepting and celebratory, to condemnation along the lines of ‘wolves in sheep’s clothing.’ In the middle were ideas like, we are all sinners, and as long as they don’t push themselves on me, I’m cool with gay people.

To which I reply:

None of the comments went so far as to say what I believe, that is, that gay folks would like to live our lives in peace, and straight people need us just as much as we need them. That the celebration of a broad continuum of gender expressions will spur on a complete renegotiation of gender roles to the point of transformation. And all like that-a-way.

In November, I put this out on Lakeview Announcements, on my own page, and on Lake County LGBTQ: the Proud & the Allies (both on Facebook.)

   I’ve seen many queer and questioning teenagers who attend Lake County High Schools, in Christmas Valley and Lakeview, as clients. I know there are many LGBTQ young people in the county, and wouldn’t it be awesome if they went away to college only to return and build up the vibrancy and diversity of this sparsely populated and economically anemic place.

We are everywhere. And yes, I’m not from here, and yet, here I am. Let’s be a more welcoming place.

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