#i only knew karkat and vriska

[faerociousbeast]

i didnt know anything about homestuck in general before this even though literally i have 6? 7? mutuals who post it regularly and i scroll by it like every other fandom in law

[zincbotted]

passed 3000 pages of homestuck. we're doing this. we're making this happen

[thewertsearch]

And now we have to deal with this motherfucker.

It’s probable that Scratch knew things would play out like this, which means this message was always intended for Karkat.

...it's probable that that's the case, but there's always a slight possibility that we're in one of his dark pockets. If so, then Karkat wasn't supposed to see this message, and might be about to learn something Scratch doesn't want him to know.

Mr. Vantas.

Dang it.

I'm delivering this message through the console of one of my numerous unwitting proteges to give you a word of advice, and then you will not hear from me again.

Characteristically unhelpful - and in fact, it might not refer to either of Eridan's victims. We still have Tavros's corpse to deal with, and I'm sure there'll be more bodies hitting the floor before the day is out.

All of the bodies in the room remain as they were. There is clearly nothing to be concerned about whatsoever.

Feferi has an eldritch connection through the Horrorterrrors, and they could probably pull some dark magical shenanigans to get her body moving again. I think that's unlikely, though, since Feferi's ghost is active in the Dream Bubbles, and I don't think she'd actually want to be revived. After all, she's go a job to do.

I'm still convinced that Kanaya's coming back, but it's hardly going to happen while our back is turned. We're out of Kernelsprites, so she can't be prototyped - and we can't use her Dream Moon Slab, if it even exists, because Prospit's been destroyed by Jack.

Frankly, I can't think of a single realistic way to revive her short of time travel, and that's not a road we want to go down. I'm really trying not to think about what that might mean.

I guess that leaves Tavros.

There's definitely something going on with him that we don't understand. He was about to smooch Vriska before she stopped him, and the Breath symbolism surrounding the act makes me think it was more than just a typical Dream Self revival kiss. He has a hidden power, and that power seems to kick in when someone's dying.

Could Tavros be a little less dead than we've been led to believe? It's possible - his arc doesn't scan as complete to me. He'd only obtained the merest shred of confidence before Vriska brought him fatally down to earth, and I think there are still many interesting places you could take his character.

CG: THERE YOU ARE, YOU HAD ME WORRIED DUDE […] CG: QUIT THE BULLSHIT PARTYCLOWN ANTICS AND GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE. […] TC: shut up. CG: WHAT… TC: I SAID SHUT THE MOTHERFUCK UP, MOTHERFUCKER. TC: honk honk honk :o)

Gamzee’s rocking a new quirk. He’s still swapping cases, but they’re alternating every message rather than every character, as though his mind is less scrambled than it used to be.

Could this be how he talks when he's off the slime? He already seems more aware than before, and his grumpiness evokes a hangover - but he's honking more than he used to, which is the opposite of what I'd expect if he was sober.

CG: SERIOUSLY, GET BACK HERE NOW, AND HAVE A SLIME PIE TO RELAX OR SOMETHING. TC: SLIME? TC: there is no more slime, brother. TC: AND ANYWAY. TC: shit was motherfuckin poison, didn't you know?

Yup. It looks like Gamzee’s gone cold featherbeast.

It's not a great time for this to happen, but it's not like we can stop it now. I highly doubt Gamzee was forward-thinking enough to reproduce his pies through alchemy, and things are a little too tense right now to try getting clever with an Appearifier. For better or worse, his supply has dried up for the foreseeable future.

So now, for the first time, we're interacting with a Gamzee who isn't out of his mind on soporifics. His shift in personality is already pretty drastic, and I'm interested in seeing what the real Gamzee is like.

[autisticsupervillain]

FTF Monthly Matchups!

Ranking: The Beta Trolls from weakest to strongest!

It took me.... a long time to decide how I was going to rank this. I'm going to be ranking each of the Beta Trolls based off of how powerful they are at their strongest. So for characters with multiple forms, that would be whatever their strongest version is. God-Tier Aradia, Ancestral Awakening Vriska, etc. I will usually discuss how strong I think their weaker iterations are when I get to them anyways.

I will be analyzing their Alpha Timeline counterparts specifically, as while we see a lot of doomed timeline counterparts that have reached God-Tier, we aren't really given any context to measure their abilities off of. I will also be completely ignoring feats featured in non-canon works. No Homestuck^2, no Epilogues, no Pesterquest.

Finally, no Sprites. I'll be restricting this to just the Base Beta Trolls. Sprites are fusions between multiple characters and if you want to go down that road, Lord English is a fusion involving Gamzee and Equius, so......

The criteria is as follows. The characters ranked highest are those who could most consistently defeat everyone ranked below them in a one-on-one fight with no outside interference. This does not necessitate that they can kill everyone ranked below them. If character A can incapacitate Character B but has no way to finish them off, that still counts as a win. This is to keep the immortal characters from winning by default against everyone who can't kill them. Not that they strictly need that boon to rank fairly high regardless.

With all that out of the way, let's begin.

12. Karkat Vantas

Yeah, you all probably knew this was coming. Despite being one of the best characters by a mile, there's just nowhere that the crabby friendleader can reliably place on this list higher than dead last.

Now, in his defense, Karkat's a very strong fighter in his own right. Despite being an ordinary mortal for the entire story, Karkat survives the longest out of nearly anyone in the entire main cast without dying once, only finally getting put down in Game Over by Jane and Gamzee respectively. That's nothing to sneeze at. He's a survivor for sure, but his strengths simply aren't suited to a one on one fight.

Positives first, Karkat's ability to unify his team was instrumental in ensuring they all survived long enough to beat the game, successfully keeping them all from killing each other even in dire circumstances until the dire straights hit critical mass. He also has a unique counter to probability manipulation. His luck is so terrible that it is able to counter out an opponent's good luck abilities, allowing him to fight opponents like Clover who are literally untouchable due to their sheer superhuman luck.

Besides that.... he doesn't have much. A lot of Karkat's best arguable showings come from things his friends would already having going for them by default. Surviving crash landing to Alternia in a meteor? Battling against the armies of Derse? Fighting against the Black King? All things other members of his team participated in to degrees to esceed him.

Karkat is a Blood Player. He's built to maintain friendships. His most impressive showings are him talking people down from fighting him by befriending them. But since Karkat already is/was friends with most of these people to begin with.... that doesn't really help him here. If one of your most notable skills combat wise is how much your luck sucks.... that's not a good look.

Given all the shit he's gone through, Karkat is genuinely a good fighter in his own right. Just not when compared to everyone else on his contacts list.

Maybe Karkat can just seduce them. Everyone loves flirting with this little shit.

11. Tavros Nitram

You might be surprised that Tav isn't in last place here, but I think this toreador has more going for him than meets the eye.

I've already covered Tavros vs Karkat as a matchup in more detail in its own post, so I'll be brief here. While Karkat is remarkably dexterous and nimble in his own right, he doesn't have a means of countering actual flight, which Tavros has with his rocket wheelchair. Moreover, Tavros has slightly more combat experience owing to his time spent in Fatal Live Action Roleplay. It's just like normal LARPing, but the Players actually try and kill each other. Which is doubly humiliating for Karkat because Tavros can say "I'm a better fighter than you because I'm a LARPer" and technically be right.

But, the thing most heavily carrying Tavros here are his animal communion powers. This telepathic ability allows him to communicate with and control animals and similar creatures, even if they are entire universes away. This ability expands to First Guardians, nigh-omnipotent, reality warping gods, so long as they are also animals in some way.

If Tavros uses this ability to its full extent, he has the potential to beat characters much higher up on this list. The issue is he's not very often going to be in a scenario where he can make the most of it and, even if he is, calling on a First Guardian would be outside help. Besides, it's pretty out of character for him to make a God wish you out of existence.

All that said, it's still pretty funny that Tavros technically has the means to likely solo your favorite universe so long as Bec is lying around somewhere. And even without that, his ability to fly away and sic the whole animal kingdom on you makes him an opponent you'd be loathed to underestimate no matter how you look at it.

10. Nepeta Leijon

Nepeta earns her spot on the list by being demonstratably much stronger and more skilled than either Karkat or Tavros. Unlike those two, who are either relatively bad at or actively dislike having to fight anyone, Nepeta is a proud Apex Predator. She's a huntress who fights the horrible beasts of Alternia for fun and is able to sleep through the vivid nightmares that Trolls get when they try to sleep without sopor slime simply because she views them as thrilling memories of the hunt. Certainly more impressive than glorified deadly LARPing.

Key difference being Tavros is such a sweetheart that he hates fighting, while Nepeta is a sweetheart who happens to deeply love fighting. While Nepeta can't fly, her experience in fighting deadly beasts should make her more than capable of slicing through almost any animal Tavros could through at her, reducing his flight to a stall tactic that drags out the fight more than anything else. Her biggest problem would likely be hesitating to hurt Karkat due to her crush on him.... which would be minor in comparison to his reluctance to hurt her because of his survivor's guilt over her death, so it all balances out.

Notably, she's one of the few characters we see actually being able to stagger her moirail Equius, even knocking him off his feet at one point. Given Equius's complete inability to control his own strength and the sheer ridiculousness of his own feats, that's impressive all on its own. Far moreso than anything Karkat or Tavros could manage.

Nepeta is only held back from placing any higher by her relative lack of screentime compared to everyone else. The fact that Gamzee was able to snap her wrist and kill her offscreen without much effort doesn't help. But for all her shortcomings, Nepeta called herself a mighty huntress for a reason.

9. Equius Zahhak

Here's someone I was going to place a lot higher.

The second half of the Meowrails duo is frequently hyped up as being one of the strongest members on the team and for good reason. This is the same guy who can bend and shape metal bear handed, punch the heads off of giant monsters with ease, and jump into the stratosphere in a single bound. He's even survived getting beaten down by Aradiabot. The same kind of beating that killed Pre God Tier Vriska outright.

Equius combines his freakish strength with a genius technical mind, frequently building and rebuilding training robots for him to spar with. He's the genius the built Aradiabot's body to house Aradia's soul, after all.

Needless to say, he'd handle Karkat and Tavros simultaneously with ease. The question isn't if Equius can beat them, it's if he'd kill them accidentally, as Equius notoriously can't control his strength. Equius frequently breaks people's bones just by touching them and can't properly wield a bow because he accidentally snaps it in half.

As a hoghblood much farther up on the hemopectrum than any of there characters prior, Equius has a lifespan hundreds, if not thousands of years longer than a normal human and he's incredible resistant to psychic influence.

Resistant, but not immune. When Gamzee first prioritized Equius as a target in his rampage, his psychically influenced his mind to make him unwilling to fight back because he knew Equius's strength would provide an issue. Given what Gamzee himself is capable of himself, the fact that he rated Equius highly enough to be cautious in dealing with him speaks highly to the threat Equius can pose.

8. Feferi Piexes

The heiress to troll kind and the future would be Empress, what Feferi lacks in direct feats and screentime, she more than makes up for in scaling. She can haul around whale carcasses under the ocean with ease and replicate Equius's feat of souring high into the atmosphere, hinting that they should be at least at a comparable level. Even the Condescension herself seem to consider her as a viable potential threat to her in line for the throne, as she would've killed Feferi herself by now if Gl'bgolyb wasn't actively protecting her. That's far more billing than Equius ever got. Equius is freakishly strong by the standards of his caste, but the Condescension is one of the strongest of all trolls period.

As the highest troll on the Hemospectrum, Feferi is completely immune to all forms of psychic influence, including those from the Horrorterrors. Gl'bgolyb, whose shouts can drive all of troll kind to extinction across the galaxy, has no negative effect on Feferi. Furthermore, she's biologically immortal. Just like her ancestor before her, she'll live for centuries and still be in her prime. Or rather, she would have if she wasn't cut down before her time.

Luckily, her connection to the Horrorterrors allows her to help her friends even in death, convincing them to build an afterlife for her friends so they don't cease to exist after death.

In a straight fight, I favor her over Equius due to her more impressive accolades and due to the fact that she can actually control her iwn strength. Equius literally can't even use his weapon properly because of his. Even in the event that the caste worshipping Equius would be willing to give his all in a fight with the Heiress, I see Feferi taking it more times than not.

7. Sollux Captor

Sollux is where things really begin ramping up in the feats department. Sollux is where a vast majority of the good feats for the mid-tiers comes from. As the Descendant of the Psiioniic, the most powerful telekinetic in Alternian history, Sollux has inherited an incredible amount of power. The same power that could move spaceships across entire galaxies in hours is his to command.

Sollux can push a meteor the size of a moon into the Furthest Ring at speeds bordering on light. Given the sheer weight of the moon, that would generate kinetic energy equivalent to 0.8 Foe. Nearly as much energy as a supernova!

He can reach across entire universes with this sheer telekinetic might, capable of destroying machines that are in another universe entirely or deflecting meteors that orbit around the Incipisphere, which is roughly 45 million times larger than the universe, traveling at 6 quinvigintillion times light speed.

Source:

In other words, these greasy hacker could more than likely solo most of your favorite universes just off stats alone. To compare to his fellows, Sollux has the unique ability to hear the words of the soon to be dead and he's treated as one of the most freakishly powerful characters on the team in general. He stalemated Eridan during their clash in the game and he's the only member of the team to survive a blast from Eridan's wand during Murderstuck. This puts him directly above Feferi, who was taken out in one hit. Not to mention his ability to telekinetically fly away and spam eye lasers from a distance would easily allow him to snipe Equius and Feferi from a distance before either could do anything to close the gap.

Noteworthy, though is the fact that this blow did still blind him and knock him out. The only reason he survived was because Eridan assumed he was already dead. Which should indicate pretty well who exactly is going to rank right above him.

6. Eridan Ampora

The genocidal seadweller prince arrives to close out the middle half of this ranking. Despite his ambitions of bringing about doomsday for everyone without gills, Eridan does not live up to his own grandeur. Though he's still one of the most dangerous people Alternia has to offer regardless.

Eridan proudly sports the laser canon known as Ahab's Crosshairs, a powerful beam weapon capable of punching holes in building sized monsters and matching blasts with Sollux Captor pound for pound. As the one tasked with killing Lusi to feed Gl'bgolyb, he has plenty of experience using it, even managing to slaughter an entire planet full of angels with it. His real ace in the hole, however, is his wand.

Despite being just a regular stick, Eridan's latent Hope powers empower this tool into a genuine magical artifact, completely capable of making mincemeat out of the rest of his team. He was able to one shot Sollux, Feferi, and Kanaya in quick succession and would've posed a genuine threat to both Vriska and Gamzee afterwards if he'd gotten that far.

Unfortunately, he's kept from placing any higher by his limitations. He's a massive glass cannon without his two major weapons, to the point that he'd likely place far lower on this list if he didn't have them, and he's not nearly as smart as he thinks he is.

Slaughtering all the Angels in his path was something he convinced himself he had to do out of paranoia, turning all of them permanently aggressive against him when they would've been completely friendly otherwise. Not to mention that, before the game, he got curb stomped by Vriska so many times that she got bored of his antics and left him. He makes it to this spot more despite himself than anything, as I consider a few who came before him to be much better at actually fighting.

Even Sollux vs Eridan is a bit more up in the air than it seems. If you throw current Sollux with all the experiences he's had throughout Homestuck into that same situation and he could easily just yank the weapons out of Eridan's hands. But that doesn't change the fact that, in a death match where both were at their best in story, Eridan still explicitly won.

5. Kanaya Maryam

Darling Kanaya brings us into the top five. This chainsaw wielding, zombie fighting fashionesta was a force to be reckoned with already, but upon becoming an undead Rainbow Drinker, she became a one woman army.

Upon resurrecting, the very first thing she did was interrupt the impending three way brawl between Vriska, Gamzee, and Eridan by solidly dunking on all three of them. She decked Vriska hard enough to send her flying, kicked Gamzee in the dick so hard he went soaring into the abyss, and snapped Eridan's wand in half like a twig before carving him clean in half.

As an immortal undead of the day, Kanaya is immune to otherwise lethal sunlight of Alternia and is immortal, continuing on even despite missing her stomach cavity completely. She long as she feeds some multicolored blood, she'll keep going even through otherwise lethal injuries.

I do think a good argument could be made for placing her even higher on this list given the threat she poses to Gamzee. Every hit she's ever landed on the clown has been absolutely devastating. But, there are a few things that hold her back from this in my opinion.

Firstly, we don't really know how the first encounter would've played out had the fight continued. Despite the truly devastating groin attack, Gamzee got right back up and both were raring up ready to continue into round two before Karkat intervened. Secondly, Gamzee still wasn't dead after Kanaya chainsawed him in Game Over. There's no Dead text we see whenever a troll dies, even though Karkat gets that treatment from dying in the lava moments earlier. As such, Kanaya gets vaporized by the Condescension before the fight can continue.

This means that, despite these two clearly being in the same league, they've never really gotten to fight on even ground before. And in that circumstance.... I'd have to favor Gamzee slightly.

Hear me out. While Kanaya is entirely capable of chainsawing him up and leaving him incapacitated like in Game Over, she has no counter against Gamzee’s mind manipulation. Whenever Gamzee has to fight someone who possesses an actual threat to him, he resorts to either mind manipulation or emotional manipulation. See Equius and Terezi for example. And given their history, Gamzee would absolutely see her as a massive threat. So, more likely than not, he'd mind control her in a similar vein to Equius in order to avoid that issue entirely.

That said, she's still and absolutely massive threat to him and the amount of characters who can actually force Gamzee to take them that seriously are few and far between.

4. Vriska Serket

Vriska Serket. The myth, the 8itch, the legend has climbed her way to the top, much to no one's suprise. I agonized a lot over where I wanted to order these next three characters and it might suprise a lot of people to see her put this low relatively speaking. But, rest assured, the Spider Pirate Queen will be getting her dues.

Vriska is one of the most experienced, versatile, and ruthless characters on this entire list. With a body count in the thousands before the story even starts, Vriska is cruel, brutal, and vindictive when provoked, be that mind controlling you to jump off a cliff or mind controlling your boyfriend to vaporize you utterly. As a Thief of Light, Vriska has a knack for lore finding and a tendency for luck. Her passive ability to steal and manipulate luck to her favor amplifies her fighting style, allowing her to use her dicekind for anything from putting you to sleep to decapitating you with a guillotine. Her going God-Tier only amplifies this further while giving her a healthy dose of immortality.

As a literally God, Vriska gains the ability to fly and is gifted with complete immortality. So long as she doesn't die in a way the game deems heroic or just, Vriska will be resurrected from virtually any kind of death. Some God-Tiers have resurrected even as reality was collapsing about their heads even.

But, even this is far from Vriska's full strength. If she so chooses, she could land a perfect roll with her dice and tao into her Ancestral Awakening form. With this strength, she can even match the power of a First Guardian infused Bec Noir, who could singlehandedly destroy universe.

Of note, universes in Homestuck are in all actuality composed of infinite timelines and infinite iterations of themselves, making them functionally infinite multiverses. And while Vriska ultimately died in the timeline this fight happened in, she went down as an even match against Jack.

The only thing keeping her from placing any higher on this list is her own shortcomings and weaknesses. Namely, her massive ego, which singlehandedly got all of her friends killed when she went to battle Bec Noir. For all of her claims of having "all the irons in the fire" her idea of a plan is usually to just use her powers to cheat. Certainly not a bad strategy, her body count speaks for itself, but Terezi is moreso the tactician of their duo than her. Vriska is not the master manipulator she fancies herself as and her deep seated vulnerability has been used against her on occasion.

Such as when, uh.... she was groomed into a romantic relationship by Meenah. Meenah was 19... and Vriska was 13. That's a college student and a middle schooler...

Vriska refuses to acknowledge this more vulnerable part of herself even exists most of the time, frequently grappling with the guilt and lack their of that she feels for her actions. Truth be told, she struggles to admit to herself that she doesn't actually want to be a bloodthirsty killer like her glorious ancestor. And against the following two in particular, that's a very glaring vulnerability to have.

3. Gamzee Makara

You can't the clown down. Or out of the top 3 for that matter.

It suprised me to consider that Gamzee could be considered to be in the same weight class as Ancestral Awakening Vriska, but it was while researching these characters again that I discovered something interesting. Recall Karkat's retelling of the fight against the Black King. Specifically, the part where he notes that Gamzee did more damage to the King in one attack than everyone else on the team could manage at the time.

Including Vriska, who we know for a fact used her Ancestral Awakening ability during that fight.

Combine this with the fact that Gamzee has canonically soloed everyone else on this kist by himself in at least one alternate timeline and it's safe to say we know why he ranked this high.

The biggest issue with ranking Gamzee is that he cannot die. Ever.

There is not a single timeline in the Homestuck multiverse where Gamzee Makara has ever died. No one on this list can kill him.

He's survived getting sucked into a planet sized black hole, endured a brutal beatdown from Caliborn, who himself tanked a solar system sized black hole, and has been craved clean in half and melted in lava. It did not kill him. Gamzee has literally plot armor ensuring he cannot die.

This plays nicely into his Rage powers, ensuring he gets stronger the angrier he gets. Sooner or later, he will be strong enough to kill you in turn as you fail to kill him.

Gamzee combines all of this with a frightfully efficient tactical mind. He's very good at using his mind powers in subtle ways to get his opponent to do what he wants. Convincing Terezi of Vriska's guilt while building up to their confrontation, negating Equius to keep him from fighting back, and influencing John's entire life throughout his childhood with nightmares, having him vandalize his own room in ways he couldn't even perceive.

Gamzee uses this to be as emotionally devastating to his foes as possible, playing on Terezi's grief following her killing of Vriska to trap her in an abusive relationship and keep her ineffectual, even leveraging their relationship at the crucial moment of the Game Over timeline to reduce her to tears.... before suplexing her through a bridge.

Combine this emotional ruthlessness with Vriska's weaknesses discussed above. Vriska is not a match for Gamzee in a battle of telepathy. While Vriska can at best put humans to sleep, Gamzee can manipulate them for their entire childhoods without them ever knowing. This is amplified by Gamzee’s telepathy specifically targeting emotional vulnerabilities like traumas and fears, as Vriska has a basket full of those that she refuses to acknowledge. Simply put, the immortal clown is almost perfectly equipped to take her down.

This may seem strange. Vriska is usually identified as a key component in keeping the Retcon timeline on track and keeping Gamzee from being a legitimate threat, right?

Well, the credit there can go moreso to our next contender....

2. Terezi Pyrope

Despite being the only ordinary mortal remaining on the front lines by the time of Act 7, Terezi is by far one of the most capable in the entire cast.

Above all, Terezi arguably is the best strategist of anyone here. For as much as Karkat postured about being the leader, Terezi and Aradia were really the ones calling the shots tactically. Terezi's plans can frequently span entire timelines and all of them almost always go up her way. Exploiting the Queen's hatred of frogs to keep her from transforming, manipulating John to his death so that Dave could travel back to become Davesprite, giving John detailed instructions on how to undo the Game Over timeline, and even manipulating the nigh-omniscient Doc Scratch into doing her dirty work for her to get back Vriska. Terezi is a consumate Magnificent Bastard and I have read her book.

For as much as Gamzee emotionally devastated her throughout Act 6, Terezi shows full well why he had to focus that much attention on keeping her in check. Because without the grief of personally murdering her best friend/worst enemy/Scourge Sister/girlfriend to save everyone else, Gamzee cannot take Terezi in a straight up fight. She hog ties him down as soon as she catches wind of what's going on together she and Vriska make sure he never sees the outside of a fridge for the next 3 years.

Between shutting Gamzee down completely, helping fight the Condescension on the front lines, and having knocking John on his ass while he was empowered by the Treasure, Terezi really is Hussie's favorite, isn't she? For as much crap as Gamzee and Vriska get for getting away with things they absolutely shouldn't have, Terezi is an ordinary mortal boxing against Gods.

Abilities wise, Terezi's most notable aspects are her precognition, which she uses for maximum effectiveness in her sprawling plans, and her superhuman sense of smell and taste, making up for her blindness by smelling the color of the blood in your veins and tasting your appearance. Not as impressive as some Abilities on here to be sure, but her established scaling alone would give her plenty of ways to muscle through all the competition that came before her.

But, for as much as I hesitated for the prefinal slots, there was only ever one choice for top spot....

1. Aradia Megido

Aradia is the strongest troll in Homestuck and it frankly isn't close.

Even as Aradiabot, she's admitted she could snap God-Tier Vriska's neck with a twitch. As an actual time goddess herself now, Vriska wouldn't stand a chance.

The first thing Aradia did upon being reborn a God-Tier was freeze Bec Noir in time, before making her escape by traveling through the portal in his body in a split second before he could react. This is despite the fact that Bec Noir can travel in the Furthest Ring. Where time does not exist.

Aradia froze time on someone who can move faster than time and then escaped before he could react.

Not only that, but Aradia can freely summon time clones of herself from other points in time, allowing her to overwhelm her enemies with an endless army of herself. These two abilities alone would freely allow her to just.... shut down anyone lower than her on the list. Stop time and dog pile. Easy. Aradia backs this up with tactical ingenuity, having been pulling the strings on her team the entire time to keeping them from dooming the timeline and prevent them from entering no win scenarios. Every situation that someone on this list has been in is a scenario she's examined or been through to make sure nothing goes wrong. She's really only rivaled in the planning department by Terezi.

But, finally, she's the only one on this list who could harm Lord English himself. The invincible demon who was destoying the entire Homestuck cosmology. Not just harming him, but riding him like helpless tamed bull with her whip.

Next to everyone else.... Aradia is just in a league of her own.

[ask-the-meteor-crew]

vriska i think you're fresh out of alive friends to shock with karkat's blood colour. Terezi already knew and Kanaya is more likely to be concerned above anything else. Dave and Rose certainly won't care. So unless you want to be the one to tell gamzee, I think you'll be the only truely shocked individual

VRISKA: I’m 8ored!!!!!!!!

#311

The ask box is open

Check the pinned post to read in order

[valle-de-sombra-de-muerte]

Homestuck Reread: Act 5-1, Part 2/5 (p. 2100-2235)

Read the previous post here.

Work was really rough for me last week so I didn't get a chance to write this. But here we are with the second part of this Act readthrough. It starts with a character I've had inconsistent opinions about during my time in the fandom.

I used to really hate Tavros when I was first in the fandom. Over time, I realized that my ire was directed more toward a certain fanon breed of Tavros: The simpering pacifist with love in his heart for all living creatures, who is a victim of misfortune and needs to be coddled (preferably by Gamzee).

I like the canon Tavros better. He's more like an awkward, avoidant weenie who isn't so much kind as he is too much of a spineless dork to fight back against the abuse hurled his way. He is quite explicit whenever he doesn't like someone or if he's uncomfortable, but he never does anything about the situation beyond that.

Tavros is also Hussie's dedicated buttmonkey, it seems. Prior to this point, all we really knew about him was that he was a bit of a try-hard who liked to rap and was really socially awkward. Now we see that he is wheelchair-bound and also really likes fairies and Pokemon. For a 30 year old man in the early 2010s, fairies and Pokemon would be patently uncool (and also "gay," to use the parlance of the time). Hussie wants us all to know right away that Tavros is lame (literally and figuratively) and gay (colloquially). Point and laugh at him!

I like the implication that Tavros actually breeds and raises all the Fiduspawn creatures he spawns.

Everything about Tavros's life is tragic. Hussie wanted to make a pathetic character who's the butt of every joke and whose existence is near-constant torment.

I suppose that building in the back could be a stable to house Horsaroni and the other Fiduspawn creatures, even though it's never stated. This is the last time his affinity for animal husbandry will ever be alluded to. You'd think Hussie would've included some crack about how being paralyzed makes it difficult to clean up their shit or something. Cue Tavros slipping and sliding face first into some manure...

Like Karkat, Tavros also wants to join the military to avoid being culled. It's surprising to see him have an actual goal to aspire to, considering how his character is mostly listless and focuses on escapism and avoidance. Perhaps he wants to be a cavalreaper not because of any higher ambition, but only because he thinks it'll save him from an early death.

Considering how it's never really mentioned at all after this point, I'm willing to believe it.

It is pretty funny how Tavros just lets Vriska prattle on. He gives her nothing to work with but she runs her mouth anyway. She's also really just ranting about Kanaya instead of anything about Tavros. He's a good captive audience for her to ramble at because he won't leave even though he stated at the start that he doesn't want to talk to her.

Couple of things to note: Kanaya giving Tavros some lame advice about anthropomorphizing his self-esteem is very on-brand for her. One thing about Kanaya that nobody seems to cotton onto is that while she loves to give advice and try to be helpful, she isn't all too good at it.

Another thing is Vriska immediately getting angry at "Rufio" for apparently attempting to stop her from talking to Tavros. That's a fun detail.

Gamzee and Kanaya are the only trolls so far to show kindness to Tavros. Which isn't saying much because Gamzee talks to Tavros in the same way he talks to everyone else. It's not like he's showing him any preferential treatment.

Note how Gamzee has slime on his face, so he had just eaten a pie and is totally stoned. It would explain why he seems much more out of it in this conversation than he was with Karkat or Terezi earlier, especially in the beginning since all he really does is laugh and honk instead of responding to Tavros in a coherent way. He then proceeds to relay all the information about the game to Tavros (pointless recap of shit we already know about), and the log ends with the two of them preparing to rap. In all this is a pretty worthless log and doesn't even offer much entertainment. And I say that as someone who generally likes pre-Murderstuck Gamzee.

I cannot believe this single conversation is what inspired so much generic slash art between these two. Homestuck fandom in 2010 was wild, man...

Aradia... exists. Her Ouija modus is a good representation of her character: a instrument of the plot/outside forces with little to no agency of her own. She spends a good chunk of the story as a deadpan plot device facilitating the whims of Sgrub and not much else.

Aradia is a frustrating character to discuss. There are at least four different versions of her depending on her status as alive or dead, and not once do we really get a chance to know the "true" Aradia. She really does serve as the "Jade" of the troll session, but Hussie doesn't even make an attempt at portraying her as endearing.

I wish that Aradia, not Terezi, was built up as Vriska's biggest rival. Aradia is the competent psychic who doesn't respond to taunts, doesn't care about winning, focuses on events yet to come, and generally has her shit in order. Compare that to Vriska, who cannot control Aradia, is hyper-competitive and escalates things constantly, always holds grudges and lives in the past, and switches emotions on a dime depending on what benefits her. They were already rivals in the past and while Aradia has long moved on, Vriska is dredging up the drama once more in a feeble attempt to try and "make amends" with her. The true motives of this are both to gain a position of power in the Blue Team, and also to soothe her own bruised ego and make her feel better about herself.

Her lame attempts to schmooze and flatter Aradia, trying to be on the same team as her, is in a subconscious way done to make sure that she isn't put against her. She knows Aradia is the stronger psychic and the better player, although she'd never admit it. If she can't beat Aradia, she'll do whatever she can to weasel into her good graces and try to steal credit for Aradia's achievements as the Blue Team leader.

Aradia of course, views the whole thing as childish and doesn't humor her at all. As she says herself, Vriska "never listens". These two are the perfect dynamic of cold and hot and I wish this was focused on more. Vriska should've been way more jealous of Aradia's abilities, seething about her and trying to one-up her. And the whole time Aradia doesn't take her seriously, which would only serve to piss her off further.

Time to talk about Nepeta, the troll that nobody seems to understand.

Nepeta is a lot of things. She's a personification of 2000s chatroom and forum-based RP culture, more specifically within the furry fandom. Not only does she roleplay as an animal on the internet, she also lives a very feral lifestyle. She lives in the woods, away from civilization, hunts and eats whatever animal she comes across, and uses their blood and pelts for arts and crafts. She's silly and naive, but also a capable hunter and quite perceptive, if socially immature.

Also, in regards to her moirallegiance with Equius, Nepeta appears to be obligated to stick with him for no real reason other than "someone has to keep him pacified." It's like a burden that she's saddled with; she's the only one that can put up with this dude that literally nobody else likes. While noble of her, it ends up being overall detrimental considering what a massive power imbalance they have. (Just read this post where I go into this in more detail. This post is long enough already).

People either want to characterize her as a ridiculous anime catgirl (which isn't even accurate to the subculture she's meant to parody; think less catgirl and more lolcats), or a bloodlusted killing machine. And both interpretations more often than not reduce her to a useless background character whose defining characteristic is her moirallegiance to Equius. I spit on all of that.

Nepeta's main trait is isolation (both physically and socially) and her difficulty expressing her desires. She leads a simple, primitive lifestyle away from civilization, which also impacts the way she is able to connect with others. Roleplay is the main way she expresses herself, and she has difficulty doing so when forced to drop the silly facade. She has a lot of wants (her crush on Karkat, her desire to be independent of Equius's control) that she is too awkward or timid to properly convey. Everyone around her almost always regards her as some kind of joke (Terezi roleplaying with her "facetiously", Karkat calling her autistic and trying to avoid her because of her feelings toward him, Equius's intensely infantilizating attitude toward her, Eridan not even remembering her name, etc.) which definitely hinders her ability to make others treat her with respect.

Oh wait, I forgot. Hussie himself calls her a joke character. Stupid me for getting invested in Nepeta, I guess.

"KARKAT THINKS ABOUT THAT A BIT AND HIS JAW DROPS OPEN AND BREAKS A HUGE COLUMN OF BRICKS LIKE A FUCKING KUNG FU MASTER" might be my favorite Karkat quote.

Equius is the one troll Karkat actively seems to dislike. This is the guy who is buddies with Eridan of all trolls, yet Equius is where he draws the line. Not even Vriska is a "bigger asshole" than Karkat. Nope, that's Equius, baby.

You know, it should be a little concerning that Karkat, the troll who lives and breathes troll romance in all its forms, is disgusted and dumbfounded by Equius and Nepeta's relationship. Especially since it's so often heralded as the "perfect" moirallegiance. Speaking of which...

This is very notable as being one of the few explicitly anti-hemospectrum statements said by a troll. A few trolls like Karkat, Aradia, and Sollux will grumble about their position in society and the way the higher castes behave, but ultimately accept the hemospectrum as an immutable facet of society.

Nepeta goes a step further than that and straight up says that caste separation shouldn't exist. Nepeta. The troll everyone writes off as being an infantile moron. Maybe it's these radical sentiments that cause Equius to keep her on such a tight leash.

As for Equius's response, am I the only one reading this!?!?!? What an incredible asshole. These two are the same age, yet he's talking to her like she's a child who needs guidance solely because she's of a lower blood caste.

Does he even like Nepeta? His supposed fondness for her is incredibly patronizing. It's like he only keeps her around because she provides him a service of calming him down and for no other reason. Other than that, she's only "ok, but not great".

Nepeta hunts and kills massive animals on a regular basis. She is not "delicate" in a physical sense. Equius is saying that she is "delicate" as in impressionable and at risk of being "corrupted" by her lower blooded friends. That's all Equius cares about: her moral standing.

Equius knows full well that Nepeta would never fight back against him, since she takes her obligation to pacify him very seriously. He exploits her goodwill to make her do whatever he wants. Why is this being paraded as the most wholesome ship in the fandom again???

I feel like it's this log that has forever damaged fandom's perception about Equius and Nepeta. Tavros suggests that Equius prohibiting Nepeta from playing FLARP was a positive because she possibly could've been maimed or killed otherwise. But it's not like Equius ever gave a shit about the danger involved at all. His biggest objection against Nepeta playing these games was because she'd be playing with lowbloods, not because he was afraid she'd get hurt. The ends don't justify the means. He's still barring her from interacting with her friends for shitty reasons.

Anyway, Tavros sucks here. He suggests Nepeta just go with the flow in her terrible relationship because he himself is so painfully passive that he'd never consider rocking the boat, even if it means standing up to someone who wrongs him regularly. Don't listen to Tavros, people.

I think I really need to have a serious talk about Vriska and Karkat's dynamic because I never see anyone talk about them. Their back and forth is hilarious just because of how similar they are to each other. Both have extreme delusions of grandeur that mask massive insecurities and paranoias (Karkat's "curse" vs. Vriska's "bad luck"). They also have aspirations of being the leader of all their friends, which leads to their egos butting heads with each other.

Vriska acts smarmy and disarming while Karkat vehemently shuts her down. Karkat sees through her manipulative tactics and doesn't want to give her any angle to work with at all. Vriska meanwhile sees right through Karkat's bravado and likes to toy with him and rile him up. (Something something... I wonder what other dynamic between a Knight and Light player is kinda similar to this where they see through the other's bullshit so transparently?)

Also jeez Karkat counting out the question marks is adorable and hilarious.

I love how Karkat boasts about what a competent opponent he'll be followed up by him telling Vriska not to use her mind powers. Right, that's kind of a major advantage she has.

Rolling my eyes at Karkat hyping up Terezi as this master tactician. "Ooh Vriska is jealous of her because Terezi is so good at manipulation." Why does the story keep talking about how cunning Terezi without ever showing us her abilities? Am I seriously supposed to think she's this Machiavellian mastermind because she tricked John Egbert of all people? Get real!

This is what I mean when I say that Aradia is the one Vriska should have seething jealousy over. Why should Vriska be jealous of Terezi at all?

Between Karkat, Tavros, and John, it's very safe to say Vriska's type is primarily soft boys.

Vriska, above all else, is an egomaniac. She, like Karkat, wants to be the best at everything. She wants to be in charge, to dictate the fates of those she views as weaker. She exercises this desire most often in FLARP, where she's essentially the most dominant player. She even likes to dabble in "dark prognostication" so she can foresee future events and stay ahead of those who wish to undermine her. This might have something to do with how her life is otherwise dominated by her needy lusus. She requires an outlet to exert control over others.

She's childish and cannot handle when she's losing or when bad things happen to her as a result of her own poor decision making. She breaks her magic 8 balls when they don't give her the result she wants, she lashes out at people when she fails to manipulate them, and she melts down when things in her life aren't going the way she wants them to. "Overdramatic" is an understatement when talking about Vriska. Everything about her is always turned up to 11.

She's also a master at avoiding responsibility for her actions. Any negative repercussions are deemed "bad luck", as if she's a victim of forces beyond her control. She'll even double down on this and claim that all her broken 8 balls are responsible for adding to this bad luck. She's a victim of a self-destructive mindset.

Also note how she's an "apocalypse buff" and Karkat dreams about programming the perfect doomsday virus. Yet another trait they share. Just saying.

Oh wait never mind all that. Uhh... "Vriska did nothing wrong!" There I said le funny meme. The only person who should honestly believe that is Vriska herself.

Vriska's such a goofball. She's so proud of her dumb little OC.

(Oh my god this was annoying to format. Fuck you Scratch and your white text.)

Very cute how she reuses Karkat's opening line against Scratch. And it turns out that she also reused the same login trick on Karkat that Scratch had done to her previously. Vriska is quick to call people out whenever she finds their actions to be unconscionable, but she'll readily excuse herself whenever she's guilty of doing the same thing. "It's okay when Vriska does it!"

She gets incredibly irritated when Scratch keeps talking about how he took advantage of her because she does not want to lose. She doesn't want anyone to have a position of power over her. It's a major way to make her uncomfortable (hence why she starts putting 8s in random letters very early on in this log).

I love it when Vriska says "can it". Also whenever she says "man" as a general expression of annoyance or amazement.

Kanaya loves dangerous women, but has no idea how to handle them. She wants to gently guide Vriska toward a more positive path, but Vriska resists any attempt at being controlled. Honestly, kind of fair considering that Kanaya is really only feigning to be Vriska's moirail so she can try and slide into her flushed quadrant. Kind of like what Eridan does with Feferi. But you're not ready for that conversation.

Uh, Vriska? Feferi's right there. And her lusus is much higher maintenance because if she doesn't get fed, everyone dies.

Not that I don't think Vriska wouldn't downplay Fef's struggles anyway.

And again, Eridan has significantly more irons in the fire since he's essentially in charge of keeping everyone on the planet alive.

Not like Vriska would care, though.

Equius might be one of the most viscerally repulsive and morally repugnant characters in the whole comic, but god dammit he just might be the most hilarious. To his credit, Hussie managed to craft the perfect buffoon by successfully capturing the essence of a specific kind of racist, perverted, online creepazoid and distilling it into a sweaty teenager who loves milk, horses, and being STRONG.

Making Equius fixated with grotesque furry art while calling it high art is a great parody of how fascists are obsessed with this grand idea of European exceptionalism when it comes to art and culture. It comes off as creepy and perverse (it also helps that many of these people are also addicted to hardcore pornography). If Homestuck was written today, Equius would probably be a very unsubtle parody of those people with a statue avatar and blabbing about how the West needs to "RETVRN" to past glories.

I'm kind of glad that's not the case because that'd be too on the nose. He's nasty enough as is.

Most trolls have to behave like "a sort of zookeeper" when interacting with their lusii, but Aurthour actually serves and cares for Equius. This does not stop Equius from referring to Aurthour as a "craven excuse for a custodian" or from mocking him when he gets injured (injuries caused by Equius himself, mind you).

I know it's a popular headcanon to depict Equius as this rippling, muscular bodybuilder, but I think it's more fitting to make him into this lanky guy who just happens to be freakishly strong. Muscular physiques are too aesthetically pleasing. It runs contrast to Equius's otherwise unappealing physical features. His widow's peak, his long unstyled hair, his broken teeth, his goofy ass legwarmers and shorts, the fact that he's constantly sweating... you get the idea.

He talks to Gamzee every day? Bro really wants to get his rocks off.

Equius won't roleplay over text with Nepeta, but he will pressure Gamzee into participating in his kinky dom/sub fantasy.

Equius structures all his social dynamics entirely around their position on the hemospectrum in relation to his own. There is no e%ception, he's incredibly infle%ible about this. From the way he browbeats Nepeta, to how he's begrudgingly civil to the similarly-classed Vriska, to the way he has to all but force Gamzee to try and dominate him, he is incapable of seeing anyone beyond what color their blood is.

Even later on, he never "overcomes his casteism." The only reason he ever acts subservient or polite to a lower blooded troll is because he view it through the lens of a power play dynamic. He gets a thrill out of "perverting" the class structure and getting "dominated" by those he views as inferior. Because despite his high social status and amazing physical strength, Equius is naturally submissive. It's this contrast that fuels a lot of his inner torment and anger issues.

Yeah he isn't a very dynamic character because at his core, he's a walking sex joke. But in Hussie's defense, it's an incredibly funny joke.

Oh Christ. And to think there was so much art of these two as a legitimate couple.

Equius's obsession with Aradia kind of reads like an openly racist/transphobic guy who secretly likes watching interracial/trans porn. Or perhaps in this specific passage, a guy who thinks he can "fix" a lesbian woman by turning her straight. No matter how you slice it, this just sucks.

Stay tuned for more yapping about trolls in the next post!

Read the next post here.

[davekat-sucks]

Since we’re talking Kanaya, the fandom forgets how much she was Jade’s counterpart to the Sgrub session. Her house literally was built to look like a moon tower of prospit/derse, like Jade. She takes gardening, like Jade, and she lives right next to a frog temple, like Jade! She does diverge from Jade taking an interest in hunting the undead and rainbowdrinker romance novels, which the fandom seems to forget because much of Kanaya’s story gets tied to romance! She was the last landdwelling troll introduced in Act 5 Act 1 and she starts of as the “meddling fussyfangs” as described by Vriska!

Her character introduction is losing her flushed interest with Vriska but still pining for her so she vacillates Eridan and Vriska’s kismesitude after Vriska mind-controlled Tavros to kiss her and Eridan broke his moirailigence with Feferi. Her only interaction in Act 4 is talking with Rose (and mistakenly one time with John who was on Rose’s computer) and that settled the dust, Kanaya bounces from one romance to another until she landed on Rose, and she had enough superficial traits and prose to her serious-straightforward-clear-intentions attitude that was flanderized in the progressing acts.

Fans still forget Kanaya’s “impromptutations” quip she gave to Karkat, in fact people forget how much Karkat worked out her love issues at the end of Act 5 Act 1 and some of Act 5 Act 2.

I don’t ship Karkat/Kanaya as flushed, but there is appeal to the dynamic since Karkat is the one person who, despite being all shouty, doesn’t ask of anything from Kanaya, and listens to her issues. It also correlates that Karkat’s refusal to engage with Rose’s troubling behavior and alcoholism that damages her flushed pairing with Kanaya and Terezi’s pitch romp with Gamzee after (possibly) dating Dave for a short period of time. It goes to show even after Karkat’s shipping concerns and fear of inter-species connections was overblown, he is a crux to hold the meteor together.

Back to Karkat’s shipping, we know he drew Jade with Dave and Rose with John, but didn’t account Rose being into women. As it turned out Rise may have had a subconscious Freudian bullshit crush on Jade, since Rose hooks up with Sgrub’s version of Jade Harley, and when Jade needs to surrogate a child. In secret. With a married woman… Rose doesn’t seem to refuse. Maybe, just maybe it’s because Rose does still want that smart, cheery, independent girl she knew all those years.

To summarize, if Kanaya is to be a good character with depth and realism, keep her close to Karkat. If you want Rose to stay monogamous (in the specific way she isn’t seeing a secret lover) keep her FAR AWAY FROM JADE HARLEY and if you want Rosemary to work as a ship, KEEP KARKAT AS CLOSE TO KANAYA AT ALL TIMES.

Don't forget that John had to remind Karkat about them being made in ectobiology and that incest was a taboo in human standards, much to Karkat's annoyance since incest is fine on Alternia. He had considered shipping DaveRose and JohnJade. Karkat and Kanaya are also close also parallels to The Dolorosa and The Signless relationship. The Dolorosa raised The Signless/Sufferer, but sadly had to watch him be executed and be sold off as a slave. Only to die later by Dualscar's jealousy. Karkat being able to save Kanaya from grief and pain would give a good closure for their ancestry.

[red-elric]

okay coming back to it now. very large parts of terezi's entire way of reacting to things center around vriska, no matter what terezi era we're talking about. when they were kids and friends, when they had their falling out and hated each other, when she had to live with the guilt of killing vriska, and when she had to live with the knowledge that she needed vriska alive to be happy and to fix the alpha timeline; it all comes back to vriska serket.

vriska's not an easy person to be friends with, largely due to her own unique issues. she was in a position where she had to grow up and conform to alternian societal standards much faster than any of the other trolls to survive, given the nature of her lusus. she had the strength of personality to pull it off, for better or for worse, so vriska spent her childhood pushing herself into being as adult and dominant as she could possibly be, following in the footsteps of mindfang and cutting out or belittling anyone who couldnt keep up with her. and she liked terezi! she knew about redglare and was a little bit obsessed with terezi, especially the parts of terezi that imitated redglare, and terezi probably really liked that attention and played into it quite a bit. she modeled a decent chunk of her personality after redglare's story, with the legislacerator ambitions and the dragons and the connection to vriska/mindfang, and ended up closer to vriska than anyone else. they were a team, and they had fun together, and vriska's entire attention was on her, at least the positive parts of it.

vriska's interactions with tavros (and probably also several others, including eridan, karkat, kanaya, and whoever else failed to meet her standards) were a very immediate, real example of what could happen if terezi lost vriska's attention and became 'l8me,' in vriskas eyes. not only would it be personally devastating to lose focus from her best friend, but it would also be potentially very, very dangerous to terezi, and I think terezi definitely knew that. when the scourge vs charge drama played out, we see terezi hesitant to act against vriska in her conversation with aradia; she warns aradia to let her handle it, but doesnt take action quickly enough. she's definitely trying to stall and let people cool down some, but aradia wont let it slide and retaliates against vriska herself, leading to vriska's retaliation back against aradia, of course. the stakes are higher, vriska has proven again that she wants to always have the last say, and terezi has to either let it slide, kill her altogether, or retaliate too weakly and open herself up to direct danger from vriska. she chooses to try and kill her (saying as much in her conversation with vriska right before the cue ball explosion, btw), but ultimately vriska survives and blinds her back.

at this point, terezi chooses not to continue to escalate. she says its because vriska blinding her is the best thing to ever happen to her; while I believe that's probably true to an extent, given that it put her in contact with her lusus, there's more to it than that. it completely stops the conflict between the trolls--she was the last harmed, and she doesnt want any payback; vriska is satisfied having the last say and shouldnt have an excuse to hurt anyone else. which is all well and good! but this action, choosing to set her own grievances aside for the sake of keeping the peace, is like..... classic self worth issues. couple that with terezi's favorite part of herself--her blindness--being inextricably tied to vriska, as something vriska did for her; terezi's self worth is now also inextricably tied to vriska. but terezi doesnt want anyone to see that, so she jokes and laughs and acts strangely to throw people off. if people think shes a weirdo because she WANTS them to, shes winning, right?

karkat I think is the only one who gets close to seeing behind all of this. vriska doesnt come CLOSE (which btw is why I dont really like endgame scourge sisters as moirails!! I think terezi is great for vriska but vriska is still terrible for her!!! preretcon terezi and (vriska) as matesprits makes much more sense to me but whatever). karkat has a real talent for seeing through people's bullshit to what theyre really thinking, and he's probably second in the 'forced to grow up early' race between the trolls (except its a little different for him because its more beneficial for him if he hides himself, rather than making a dominant stand like vriska), and he really, really likes terezi. I think they gravitate towards one another post scourge vs charge bc karkat just has this unconditional love in his heart for..... everyone, really, but especially terezi, and thats something terezi with her low self worth really relies on to recover from vriska not being her friend anymore. but karkat is his own bag of worms; he has so much going on and he gives conflicting signals and hes scared to commit to her (mostly because he has a hard time fitting in with troll romantic patterns tbh) and that drives terezi away because she thinks he doesnt like her as much as she likes him. also, I think at this point shes probably starting to consider him a better person than her, possibly due to his refusal to associate with vriska from the start, which comes to a head later pre retcon (that one DEVASTATING convo betwen them in the meenah flashes). so she runs away.

dave is really easy to talk to when all terezi wants is to hide from her feelings and her friends, because that is absolutely what dave wants too. they fall really quickly into a surface level only rapport and become really quick close friends by just.... being the person the other can talk to without it being a federal fucking issue. its something terezi really needed in that moment, and something that worked for dave at the time too. but still, even that relationship was all about vriska, because by this point terezi knew vriska was spending all her time talking to john. and terezi might 'know' that there is no john versus dave thing, but vriska thinks there is, and is certainly acting like the dave vs john thing is actually a terezi vs vriska thing, and its hard for terezi to stay out of that completely; shes the one who brings it up to dave, after all, and they talk about it more than john and vriska do iirc. and isnt it funny how, despite knowing that dave would never reach god tier or surpass johns ability, terezi picked him anyway and sided with the underdog without a fight? how she rolled over and let vriska win again?

(also, retcon timeline side note!!! I bet it really fucked with terezi when john told her not to date dave either because it didnt work out and wasnt good for either of them, but especially not for dave!!! she was just trying to have some easy fun without any sweeps old drama like with vriska or karkat and heres john from another timeline telling her going down that path would be bad for dave!!! alt terezi didnt tell him to do that!!! aishdjchjswbgdjchsjsj)

anyway. when terezi finally gears up to have her showdown with vriska, its not for her own sake. its because vriska killed tavros, and because terezi was pretty sure she had killed a few others as well (incorrect, but like.... of course terezi was gonna think that she was obsessed with vriska from the start), and because she felt as though there was only one way to save karkats life (and her own, and some of the other trolls, but please. we all know karkat was the one she wanted to save). and whether in the retcon timeline or not, terezi has to live with the knowledge that she can't escape vriska's hold on her, and she doesn't even want to. she's damaged goods, because she should HATE vriska; everyone else does, and shes done so many awful things, but terezi apparently cant live without her. and that breaks her in both timelines; more dramatically without the retcon, but still in the retcon timeline as well; she just is able to hide behind vriska's force of personality more in that timeline, just go along with the person she's stuck with by her own volition. so no, her self worth issues didnt come out of nowhere.

[cannoliparty]

the knight class & its connotations

"the active exploit class, the knight’s job is to “protect their aspect or to protect with their aspect”. they will often end up protecting their allies who lack in the knights own aspect, and these protective tendencies are why they are often seen helping with frog breeding. typically, they are also protectors of the aspect itself, making sure it cant be destroyed in the session. all this protecting makes the knight's challenge learning other's capability in their aspect, growing to know that they are capable themselves."

knights arent as self-introspective as other active classes. lets compare it to a mage & a maid. aradia, maid of time, was busy visiting and "cleaning up" centuries worth of doomed timelines. as a play on words she was made of time, and very connected to her own aspect in that sense. sollux, mage of doom, knew a lot about sgrub (aka the game that would bring their doom) and although like a typical mage he had emotionally dealt with this dread, he still worked hard to split the trolls into teams and start their game, being very active and kind of confident in/with his abundant knowledge of his aspect.

another very strong contrast to a knight is a thief, one of the most self-serving active classes. vriska, thief of light, stole ideas and knowledge for herself. a thief's challenge is literally learning to share their aspect with others! overall, they are the most possesive of their own aspect and using it on/for themselves.

but when it comes to knights, they can be at a loss for how to use their own aspect on themselves. because like a real knight, they serve their aspect. this serving is done through harnessing their aspect as a weapon, and protecting allies either with that aspect or just protecting allies who lack in that aspect. because of all this self-righteousness and sense of protecting and serving, knights are at a loss for how to connect their aspect to themselves. after all, if you only weaponize your aspect how could you use a weapon on yourself?

a great example of a knight is karkat vantas, knight of blood. blood is representing of relationships, bonds, connections with other people, and sometimes just the blood in your body. physically, karkat is assumingly the weakest troll, a mutant in blood. but his vast knowledge in quadrants and overall with his servitude to his friendships, he protects the bonds he has with his friends and takes great care to them, keeping the group of trolls away from any heavy conflict in sgrub. this attitude to blood also makes him a great leader, able to easily rally even the most uncooperative of his friends and leading them to defeating the black king. but he wasnt very good at reflecting these bonds on himself. karkat often dealt with self-esteem issues and viewing himself as the most physically weak, and this is because of the very blood in his body. he hasn't accepted his own worth in his friendships or on the hemocaste of alternia. so as a result, he hides his blood color and his worth to his own aspect.

another example is dave strider, knight of time. he actively served through time, constantly going through and making stable time loops and overall increasing/exploiting the mechanical (time-related word!!) efficiency of sburb. but a negative aspect on time can be how dave used its "mechanical" attributes in other ways. this was through the emasculating but abusive outlook he was raised on. overall dave had a very rigid childhood, and tries to keep up an almost mechanical stoic outlook because of this.

one of the knights i really wish we got more of was latula pyrope, knight of mind. compared to the previous knights there's practically nothing we can take from her that isn't in the openbound segments. i assume she could have been strategically (mind-related word) helpful throughout the alpha trolls' session, serving the logic of her friend's and logic itself. but she also is seemingly concealing a deeper part of herself. this is shown when latula and porrim meet in openbound, and when porrim tells her to "drop the skater act", she immediately does and starts talking in a more relaxed way. it's obvious latula keeps this over-the-top front to somehow maintain a sort of strategy. overall i just really wish we got more of the alpha trolls somehow T_T!!!

thanks sm for reading!!

[sadevergreen]

as a camp counselor (technically not currently bc i went home for Illness) and homestuck fan (also technically not currently bc I'm too busy being a camp counselor) i love camp skaia. which homestuck characters are most likely to be the "we're ALL sick there's no reason you can't do the hike up the hill" (has mild cold and vague heatsickness at worst) counselor x "actual lung infection but thinks it's a really normal cold" (very easily gaslit) counselor program group pair? i feel like eridan and kanaya are hot contenders here

ooo ok this is so good- apologies for the ever loving hell that you are about to see but i sought assistance from my dear dear pale friend @marv3l-drag0ns !!!!!!!! MUAH PLATONICALLLY <> ILY they were a huge help in putting this together

BOY DO I HAVE A LOT TO SAY ON THIS, THIS WAS EXTREMELY FUN :D

so let’s begin: my immediate instinct was kanaya and tavros are the most easily gaslit, or adhere most to given direction (we’re not going to talk about HIM). but then who to pair them with? they are both wet cats that won’t work. we decided that YES kanaya and eridan definitely make sense! but in which role? it may seem obvious but NO! eridan too sick? whiny fussy pitiful sopping kitty he’s just a beanbag full of milk! so we decided barely sick eridan, otherwise he’d be throwing a fit. instead he’s referring to his Superior Genes! and kanaya is. strugglin. but fuck man here we are 🤷‍♂️

But we’re not done yet!

the next we considered was karkat and terezi!! especially aided through the lens of karkat’s old crush on terezi; he’s too whipped and in denial to deny a girl a hand!

this led to possibly the funniest thing ever: THE INNER KANKRI THAT EVERYONE HAS AND HE SITS ON YOUR SHOULDER AND REMINDS YOU TO BE DECENT AND LEAVE ROOM FOR KANKRI

for the bigger drawings i capped it off with a good ol favorite of mine; erifef. why did i like them? man idek anymore but it worked really well with the idea of eridan being the sicker one, but being ok such thin ice over his constant whining that he just has to go along with it we just though it was funny hehe. it can be viewed through any lens! snippy or non, s’all good here! it’s all canon.

what is he was sick and he couldn’t whine 🥺 what is he was sick and he wasn’t allowed even a snivle about it 🥺 not a snort 🥺 or a sob 🥺 he’s so pathetic !!!! besides, he can’t be out paced by some fuckin kids!!!! HES A GROWN ADULT 16-18 Y/O CAMP COUNSELOR GODDAMNIT!!

MARVEL: “Feferi: ah yes your sickness you have a functioning immune system and are the most dramatic guy on planet earth (only one of those statements is true)” which statement? :) yeah

she doesn’t believe him anymore <333

Ok and that is it for full line art doodles, but!!! i couldn’t resist drawing some more pairs we pondered

ERIDAN AND KARKAT: omfg so good!! but they would 100% either both be tooooo sick and dead, or they would both be mostly fine

VRISKA AND TAVROS: no. and you know why we’re not doing this one :,( we all instantly knew this one would be here but we are choosing to ignore it im favor of…

TAVROS AND KARKAT: Marvel proposed it and it was very interesting!! i think similar to eridan and karkat, where they’re both dead or both barely sick. no i’m between. aggressive yet positive motivation (?) for the win!!! they further proposed that karkat “eats dirt for a living and doesn’t get sick very often”

Overall this was really fun to put together and answer, and i had a blast getting to colab with a mutual along the way :3 so thank you anon and thank you marvel!! this does bring me to something i’ve been meaning to say,,.,,,

@marv3l-drag0ns ,,? we’ve been friends forever, you know my dogs middle name, we complete each other in a way no one else can! you stop me from eating bones i find on the road, and i stop you from ascending to godtier to avoid going to exams…,…

would you be my

Moirail? <>

anyways! that’s all for now <3 this was so fun :) please send in more asks/ requests like this if you ever think of any more! i definitely feel for the camp counselor piece cause that was me earlier this summer PFF and all the counselors got sick and passed something around (but hey! it was an excuse to sit away from 7 y/olds for a few minutes while i got tea for my sore throat)

[april13th2009]

Every day is just.

Thinks about Meenah as a character who doesn't want to feel as though she's hurting her friends and cares more about that than actually not hurting her friends. Thinks about "you know how it is someones gotta take care of the guy anyways" and the equation of dehumanization with care and the Beforean blood hierarchy as a systemic ableism analogy. Thinks about the perception of disabled people as burdens and Meenah's abdication being about not wanting to be chained down to anything. Thinks about Meenah as a character desperate to feel like she has autonomy/control in her life, but not necessarily wanting power, as more responsibility feels like less control. Thinks about social differences in Alternia vs Beforus leading to Meenah choosing to abdicate on one world but not the other. Thinks about Porrim's musings on fate where she references the life decisions of Mindfang and the Dolorosa (separately) and about the potential effect of that knowledge on her relationship with Aranea. Thinks about Aranea's fate vs free will talk with Terezi. Thinks about how similar Kankri's insecurities are to Meenah's and Aranea's, and how much more like them he probably would've ended up being if the Signless had been as shit a person as Mindfang or the Condesce. Thinks about the insidiousness of "I'd address my involvement with that, 8ut you seem to 8e tapping your foot so I think I'll just skip over that part of the story" and wonders if Aranea like Meenah felt guilt over actions never taken by her but by someone she spoke of in first person. Thinks about how I love Meenah when she's well-written and hate half the writing choices made with her. Thinks about how I [said through gritted teeth] like the vast majority of the writing choices made for Aranea, even if I'm screaming and crying about how they gave me the most autistic girl ever and then made her a Mindfang fan.

Thinks about Latula Pyrope's internalized sexism and how her personality revolves around "yeah I'm a girl BUT I still have value and deserve respect because I'm so good at [things that one can't easily or safely do while blind] let me prove myself please" and her influence on Terezi's mental state during the timeskip. Thinks about Latula's black lipstick and apparent eyeliner despite always wearing sunglasses, and how on her sprite it looks like her shoes have heels despite her constant skateboarding, and how cool it would've been if Terezi was butch. Thinks about how we see Terezi rping with Nepeta and flarping with Vriska and Team Charge and playfully flirting with Dave and Karkat and how over time every one of those people she was closest to was either killed and/or someone she distanced herself from until she had no one. And then until she had Vriska again. Thinks about how the moment I heard Terezi's "luck doesn't actually matter" line I was convinced she would kill Vriska and cheered aloud at being proven right. Thinks about Vriska killing Tavros and Tavros refusing to kill Vriska and Tavrisprite killing themself. Thinks about how the Vriska godtier scene was my favorite thus far in the entire comic and Tavros could be such a good character if Hussie also gave a shit about his characterization when Vriska wasn't there. Thinks about Vriska kissing Tavros as another way of challenging him, meaning that she knew he didn't want it. Thinks about Vriska kissing Tavros because she wanted to make him more like herself and SHE wanted to be given affection but could only conceptualize it through adversity. Thinks about the Summoner loving and killing Mindfang and Tavros doing neither for Vriska- “Too l8 to kiss me, too l8 to kill me”. Thinks about how Vriska grew up with a primary source stating that the person she idolized, who she had survived through emulating, was a rapist, and the effects that had on Vriska’s conceptualization of consent. Thinks about Mindfang brainwashing the Dolorosa to love her vs Vriska not being able to bear doing the same to Tavros. Thinks about Mindfang making the Dolorosa question her free will vs Vriska trying to force Tavros to take more initiative. Thinks about Vriska's Captain Hook parallels (pirate missing an arm and an eye, waiting for a character representing time to come kill her) and her fairy dress. Thinks about Kanaya making that for her, and the kiss acting as a power play against Kanaya too; Tavros was her friend. Thinks about how annoying it is when moirallegiance gets reduced to being wholesome besties by fans, when in canon no troll social dynamic on Alternia can be separated from their larger social norms facilitating abuse. Thinks about how trolls also had quadrants prescratch and wonders how Beforean social norms impacted that. Thinks about how annoying it was of the romance explanation to go "oh yeah being in a matespritship is just like normal human romance, moving on" instead of giving us anything new/more interesting. Thinks about "she keeps 8ugging me. 8ugging and fussing and meddling… I guess it's flattering that she wants to talk to me so much though. I guess I don't mind. It's cool". Thinks about how Vriska, having methodically destroyed her relationship with Kanaya, cries for her attention in Alterniabound by mockingly implying that it was Tavros Kanaya liked. Thinks about how glad I am that Kanaya got out of that relationship. Thinks about how, at Rose's "strive to pacify me as I scuffle down this black corridor" comment, Kanaya immediately asserts that she doesn't want to do that, and thinks about how HAPPY I am for her to be setting healthy boundaries. Thinks about how my favorite character Terezi will never beat the Vriskaliking allegations ever in her life.

Thinks about my stupid little webcomic thinks about my stupid little webcomic thinks about my stupid little webcomic

[nekropsii]

…I swear to God, why have like half the Beforan players tried to bone someone significantly younger than them??? Probably because the author’s a creep who got a kick out of it, but still, between what was just discussed with Rufioh, Aranea trying to hit on Jake, Cronus trying to bone his dancestor (jesus fuck) and Meenah dating a physically 13-year-old Vriska… that’s a THIRD of the dancestors? And those are just the four I’m aware of, I would be very disappointed but not at all surprised if there was a fifth.

Honestly, adults having inappropriate relationships with children is just a heavily recurring theme in Homestuck... It's not really all that surprising when you take a step back. Doc Scratch, Hussie's own self insert, Bro Strider... They're all much older than the Alpha Trolls are, and are creepy towards the Betas in some way.

Further discussion going under the cut.

Content Warning: Discussion of Sexual Assault, Harassment, and Pedophilia.

... Man, I'm having to write about this topic a lot lately, aren't I? This isn't even close to the only ask left in my inbox about something adjacent to this. It's kind of... Flattering, in the weirdest way possible? I don't know, I'm often approached for my opinions on some of the much more serious and dark aspects of Homestuck. Things that people don't really know, or talk about, or address- like the racism issues, Dave's CSA, et cetera. It's not really prestigious, I don't think, but it does require a level of trust in maturity and literacy. I appreciate it.

Anyways, this is mostly going to be me adding to and even debunking your ask here. I think this subject both deserves and requires specificity. It's an extremely emotionally charged topic, so peoples imaginations tend to get a little... Carried away, when they don't know the full extent to what's happening. Considering how it's not easy to term search things said by most of the Alpha Trolls, and some people really just do not want to/cannot interact with things relating to Child Harm and Abuse... There's bound to be both a lack of information and an excess of misinformation. It's understandable, but... Deeply annoying for me in particular. Lol.

Let's do this.

---

The inclusion of Rufioh in this is both correct and based on some of my own posting on the matter. Rufioh was hitting on Aradiabot, who is 13, because she reminded him of Damara... Specifically remarking upon how she's "just like the real thing". Charming...

Here's where I'm going to supply a debunk: Aranea did not try to hit on Jake, and he is not significantly younger than her. That's a pretty ugly misconception. She's 19, and he is 16. She had zero romantic or sexual feelings towards Jake. Yes, she tried to kiss him once... Because she knew that he was attracted to her and assumed he'd appreciate her making a move on him. This was part of her little scheme to make him Hope-splode. She never did actually kiss him, and there was genuinely no consent violations involved in the situation- he told her to stop before she could, and she did. It was just a misunderstanding. It happens. If you're still put off by that age gap, that's fair and entirely respectable, but that's not "significantly younger", and the situation wasn't really objectively creepy.

... Cronus is... Fucking gross. His whole gimmick is that he is "The Worst Character in Homestuck", and boy does he succeed at it. He won that title. Earned it. Absolutely flying colors. He tried to "get with" Karkat, Tavros, and Eridan. By which I mean he stalked Karkat all the way to his house and then tried to break into it, got really handsy with Tavros in the middle of a crowd, and... Sexually assaulted Eridan- his own flesh and blood!- also in the middle of a crowd. All of these kids are 13 years old, and his main character trait is "Sexual Assault + Harassment". No one's free. Not even literal children! Cronus counts as a full-blown Pedophile, by the way!! There's your fun fact for the day.

Then there's Meenah, who had her whole thing with (Vriska), who was 13. Not just physically, but mentally, too. She was just 13. That was a whole arc, so it doesn't really need much elaborating upon, I hope.

---

That's... Just about it, I think? That's all I remember, anyway, as far as the Alpha Troll Age Gap Weirdness goes. So... Only 3 of them are really problems in that respect, which is 1/4th of the cast. Still an upsetting amount, but not... As bad as 1/3rd, as far as optics goes.

In full honesty, it's kind of funny to me how the Alpha Trolls who have overtly sexual theming are... Pretty normal about kids. Damara's nice to them and nobody else, we've got zero reason to suspect Mituna of anything, and Porrim's just chilling. It's accurate, if anything.

Hopefully this has been fun and/or informative. Have a lovely day.

[emptybattlefield]

"seeing double"

twinstuck orphanstuck. A PLEA TO THE MOD FAIRIES: i beg of thee please reblog me!! It is my deepest desire! I appreciate you guys!! <3

“There. That boxcar.”

Tavros led his sister down a hill to where they would settle to sleep for the night. Soft Christmas snow was underfoot. 

“I can smell it from here. Are you sure?” Vriska asked. 

“Positive,” Tavros tells her, out of breath. “This is definitely the A95 train. Which means it won’t leave again till Thursday—Friday, if it’s delayed.” He gingerly held the train schedule pamphlet that he nicked from the station. “We can camp out for at least the next few days.”

The two climbed inside the traincar. Tavros started kicking a pile of hay together for them to sleep on. 

“I was right about being able to smell it,” Vriska said with revulsion. 

“I can’t smell anything. But, I read that hay is a natural insulator. So, should keep us warm in here, too,” Tavros said wearily. 

“I don’t feel feel like it’s working yet,” said Vriska, helping to shape the horse’s hay into a bed.

After just a little bit of exertion, Tavros was thrown into a coughing fit. It echoed badly throughout the traincar. 

“Are you sure you’re better than yesterday?” she asked him as they chose the least dirty corner to settle into. 

“Much,” her brother said, “and definitely over the worst of it.”

They knew nothing else but sleeping shoulder-to-shoulder. And so that was how Mr. Vantas encountered them. 

“Dave…”

Vriska swam into awareness. Somehow, the boxcar was colder than they’d found it. The street lamps were off—it was the dead of night. There was a face looming in the mouth of the boxcar. 

“Dave—it looks like you’ve got some friends in here.”

Tavros was awake, but bleary eyed—Vriska was still shaking him when a second face loomed before them. This time, a human one. 

“Urchins! Scram, you!” yelled the human, named Dave. 

“The boy looks like he’s poorly,” said the troll uneasily. 

Vriska’s heart pounded. How was her oaf brother still asleep?

It’s because he’s a furnace, she thinks dreadfully. He’s sweating and feverish, and there’s little straws of hay stuck to his face and neck.

“I know a doctor. Let me take him to him,” the adult troll said to Vriska, now climbing into to boxcar. 

“He’s sick! Leave us alone, you creeps,” she shouted at them. 

“Uh, in case you haven’t noticed, wench, these are my train cars,” said Dave lackadaisically. 

“Come now, girl. Is this your brother?” asked the troll. 

“I won’t let you take him. He just needs time. We know your train doesn’t go out till Thursday evening. We’ll be out of your hair long before then,” she said to the both of them. 

“Your brother needs a doctor—or I’ll be surprised if he survives tonight. Don’t be stupid, girl,” the troll said. 

Tavros still wouldn’t rouse. His breathing sounded heavy and ragged. Vriska’s armpits were suddenly growing intensely itchy.

The troll man swiftly bent down, and cradled Tavros in his burly arms. He hopped down from the train car.

Then they came into the light, and Vriska’s breath began to come short. Her eyes grew wide. Not only was the troll a mutant, but a mutant wearing an apron, covered and dripping with bronze, cerulean…rainbow blood!

“Oh, quit looking at me like I kill children. I’m a butcher. The name’s Karkat. What about yours?

Dave climbed into the coachman’s seat of a carriage parked up the hill. 

“You’re…you’re a mutant,” said Vriska. 

Karkat blinked, still holding out his hand for her to step up into the back of the carriage. “Uh. Indeed I am. And what did you say your name was?”

“Vriska,” she answered as she climbed into the back.

Dave fed the horses a quick snack. Next to her, Karkat looked sorely down at the limp Tavros. “And who’s this young bloke?”

“His name is Tavros.”

“And he’s your brother?”

“We’re twins,” she said. 

While they careened away from the trainyard, Karkat tried one-handedly to bundle the shivering Tavros into an empty burlap sack from the floor of the carriage.

“Are you and the human…flushed?” Vriska asked with surprise and disgust. 

“Yes.”

“That’s…forbidden.”

Karkat turned to her bitterly. “You and your brother are of completely different blood colors. You do know what kind of love twins like that are made from, don’t you? That’s forbidden as well, isn’t it?”

Vriska said nothing more, and resorted to staring out the carriage window.

***

“Found him inside one of Dave’s boxcars. He’s wrought with fever…”

Perhaps Vriska shouldn’t have been so surprised—Karkat’s brother was also a mutant. 

Vriska was now fully observant, and on her guard. She didn’t believe yet that the societal untouchables could be fully harmless. She noted that the one mutant called the other, “Kankri.” 

Kankri had answered the door in his pajamas and nightcap. He looked kind of pathetic, really—not like a doctor at all. He swung his head both ways down the street, and then ushered them all inside. 

In Kankri’s house, there was a small room with a cot that seemed to be fit for the very purpose of housing a single sick person. From a tiny dresser drawer, Kankri withdrew a trumpet stethoscope and a thermometer. Tavros looked paler in the candlelight.

When Vriska tried to enter the room, Karkat put his hand in front of the door to prevent her from entering. “You are not to bother him while he’s doing your brother a favor,” he said. 

“Feed the girl, if you must keep her occupied,” said Dr. Vantas lazily. “She’s no doubt starving.”

Karkat led Vriska into the most lavish and beautiful kitchen she’d ever seen in her life. Karkat slapped a loaf of bread and a block of cheese onto the counter. 

He threw his whole weight into them while he was cutting, as you would for meat. He served it to her on a blue and gold decorated plate that for a moment, overwhelmed even her sense of hunger. She simply stared at the carefully gilded animals—ram, bull, cat, horse, goat, fish… rather than eating her first meal in almost a day. 

“Do not try to clean up after you’re done,” he warned. “The Mrs. is very attached to her bone china.”

Vriska inhaled the bread and cheese, and Karkat gave her another one, and she wolfed that down, too. 

Karkat shook his head, smiling. “Come with me, I’ll have you try some of my stuff from the shop.” 

He fetched some sausage from the icebox for her to try. He laughed when her eyes grew wide with delight—it was clear to her that it was delicious. 

“Tav needs to try some of this,” she said.

“I’m glad you like it so much. It’s nothing special.” And it wasn’t—just his cheapest meat that he was never able to completely sell. 

“Kan—what are you doing out of…”

A pair of slippers padded softly down the stairs. Kankri’s wife was a small, cerulean lady with a ink-black bob, wearing a shimmering, sapphire evening robe. Vriska couldn’t help but stare at her night slippers, which were made of red satin, with small, delicate rubies sewn in. 

Kankri’s wife raised her thin eyebrows, yet smiled when she saw Vriska. “—Oh, my. It’s like a proper soirée in here, isn’t it? Duty calls, I take it, dear?” she called genially to the doctor. 

“Yes, honey,” Kankri answered from the other room.

This wild place held two mutants—one of them flushed with a human, the other with a highblood… What kind of mad house was this? Vriska thought to herself. 

Despite this—the more Vriska stared at her, the more she thought that Aranea was the most beautiful woman that she had ever seen. 

Aranea immediately got to work on the hearth, and then fixed tea for the entire group. She brought one in for her husband, which went cold on the counter in the tiny workroom. She conversed with the two men Dave and Karkat at the kitchen table. Eventually her attention turned to Vriska. 

“Heterosanguineous twins,” Aranea marveled. “Remarkable. How rare…”

“Did you two run off from an orphanage?” Dave asked in a harsh voice. 

“No. We’re truly urchins,” Vriska replied timidly. 

“True urchins,” repeated Dave. “You know, if you aren’t telling the truth, we’ll be able to phone every orphan home in this side of England—it won’t be hard to ask if a pair of heterosanguineous twins went missing.”

“I am being honest,” said Vriska. “Our mother fell ill with fever, and died six months ago.”

“David, you may question her in the morning. I’ll set her up in the downstairs room,” Aranea said gently. 

Wordlessly, Vriska followed her. She was bathed, her hair brushed and woven into braids, and clothed in a pale blue girls’ nightgown with lace trim that was slightly too large for her. 

“Who’s clothes are these?” Vriska asked tentatively. “Are they—do you have children?”

“Kankri and I wanted our own; but alas, it was not in the cards,” Aranea replied with a sad smile. “These are the hospital’s. They aren’t new—but at the very least, they are clean. Come here, so I can get you some socks.”

Vriska’s brain ran wild—she imagined how many kids had died in what she was now wearing. 

Aranea led her to the second guest bedroom, and left the candle on the nightstand. “You may snuff it now, or when you’re ready. Good night, Vriska.”

Vriska could not sleep. She couldn’t remember the last time she slept by herself…it was not long before she got up from bed and tried to sneak into the tiny side room. But, she couldn’t do so without crossing the foyer, where the adults were still sitting and talking. Vriska hid behind the wall out of sight. 

She allowed herself only one peek. Kankri looked worn down—Aranea sat with her legs crossed, with Karkat and Dave also on the sofa. 

“You two really have your work cut out for you, this time,” said Karkat uneasily. “Do you have any interspecies couples on your wait list that will take two children?”

Aranea’s lips shifted into a disconcerted look. “Perhaps there are some out there who believe in our same principles—that siblings like them should not be separated…”

“Would you consider splitting them? If the alternative is to return them to an orphanage, perhaps that would be preferable, for both their sakes…” said Karkat.

“We still have to see how the boy fares,” answered Kankri. His head was in his hands. “If he succumbs to his fever, then we may not have a choice in the matter, at all.”

“Don’t say that,” said Dave sharply.

“He’s right, dear. You two should go to bed,” said Aranea, “and we’ll all reconvene in the morning, as to what we should do with the children.”

She and her husband ascended the stairs—as it turned out, Karkat and Dave did not live far. Once the foyer was clear, Vriska snuck into the tiny room. 

When she shook his shoulder, he coughed—and turned to her, bleary-eyed. “Vriska?”

“They’re like those people on the news. We’re in a madhouse, full of Sufferer-gettes,” Vriska blurted out in a whisper. “They’re planning to send us to a troll and human flushcouple. That’s because the law bans them from adopting.”

“I don’t care if we go to troll-human parents. Those two men didn’t seem mad.” Tavros mused, “And the mutant doctor is kind. Anyways--beats you and me getting split up. Do you care?”

“I guess not,” said Vriska. “That’s why you can’t die on me. No matter what happens. Okay?”

“Stop talking hysterical…”

<to be continued! Probably!! thanks for reading!!!>

[hydrate-or-diedrate]

Day 11 of reading homestuck wahoo yippee

Just for fun, I did some doodles during class uwu

Karkat is literally the crybabyest of all the characters so far its adorable. Hes cried like 3 or 4 times now I think and the only other character to have cried on screen did it once lol. Too many feelings for his liddol body so he gets rid of them by yelling <3

My friend was making fun of me earlier because she witnessed me getting a new blorbo in real time x)

Anyway onto reading

Ughhhhhh hi Scratch

Is this scratched CD gag Andrew's way of saying act 5 act 2 was going on for too long/he got tired of writing it normally, or is this concept plot important lol

Not to be a Vriska hater but YEAH TEREZI BEAT HER UP

This truly is fuckin kill murder dead town right now

Goddammit Terezi, I believed in you. I still love and adore you but 😔

And then Rose is trying to take out Jack which I assume will not go well

Scratch what the hell does "8^y" mean? 8 to the power of y, with y being a variable? Or is it just a silly little face? TF

Shut the fuck up Scratch, John's jokes are great

NO SCRATCH YOU DONT GET TO CASUALLY GLOSS OVER THE TROLL'S HIDEOUT BEING DESTROYED I NEED TO MOURN THEM

I LITERALLY JUST GOT THOSE BLORBOS, DAMMIT 😭

Oh okay, so it's 8^y is just 8⁸..?

Woah okay that's quite a few sparkles. Idk man, gotta be at least 12

Okay Vriska go off, get his ass

Okay Scratch it seems you might be suggesting that this (the timeline in which half my blorbos killed either themselves or eachother) is not the alpha timeline

YEAH TEREZI I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT

AJJDGDJKDV KARKAT JUST IN THE BACKGROUND SCARED SHITLESS

Nice dress, Kanaya

GO AWAY GAMZEE

Yeah yeah we get it you're a God or whatever

Vriska stop being so desperate omg

SLICK FFS

Okay Scratch I can respect the beatdown

Hoooooooh boy, hi Karkat :(

And bye bye Gamzee, I see that blood on Karkat's face

Okay so Rose stole the suicide mission, so I'm assuming she's confirmed dead until proven otherwise

Oh? Or not?

Okay, John giving Vriska(dead) a tour is kinda cute

Oh? New denizens lore?

Okay wow there's a lot of these scrapbook pictures to look through

DAVE YOU FUCKHEAD YOU PROMISED

Aww, it's the John that died at the denizen

Dead John talked to Typheus? 👀👀👀

Oh I don't like this hopping around

Uh oh y'all, CueBall is in the backrooms

Wow (past) Gamzee just casually suggesting making out like that's not a big thing for (past) Tavros

Karkat is so mean to himself, poor guy :(

Oh gosh fucked up Gamzee is back

Okay Gamzee so are you saying it's actually YOUR fault?

Okay and now ancestor lore? I really need to make a new reblog before I manage to lose all the stuff I already typed

[callmearcturus]

someone asked me if I knew what the Eye of the Duck for any of my fics was.

Eye of the Duck is a movie analysis podcast that's really tremendous, and revolves around this concept borrowed from David Lynch. Basically, when you look at a duck, you can look at its bill and it's feathers but if you want to understand it, you have to look into its eye. In the context of analysis, the podcast posits that the Eye of the Duck is the one scene of a movie that encapsulates everything that film is, the core of its thesis.

Okay so what the fuck are my Eyes of the Duck?

so we don't kill the ones we love: jesus this is so fucking hard i gotta come back to it

you can only take what you can carry to the edge of the sea: in "The Sixth Pentacle of Mars", the climax of Dirk's adventure is when he enters the volcano to save the island, and its explicitly something only he can do as a noble. The ailment that has haunted him his entire life and made him a pariah of society is the key to saving the first place that's ever been home to him. He is, for te entirety of the story, associated almost exclusively with water, and he tacitly becomes the water that douses the fire, the water of life.

The Eurydice Suite, 2.0: Karkat and Roxy in the neon courtyard of the labyrinthian dream. The way Karkat has spent the entire story keeping his emotions in check and just losing his cool for a moment is balanced by Roxy putting her panic and grief away to do what Karkat needs her to do. They're my faves, if it wasn't obvious.

Chamomile, rose water, and other unlikely intoxicants: Jake finding Dirk after the sacrifice. It is the death of Jake's former self and the rebirth of him into a vengeful man who has put away his childish things to affect destiny itself. Chamomile is about many deaths.

gushing gold: I HAVE NO IDEA, I KEEP THINKING ABOUT IT AND NOTHING COMES TO MIND.

out here the good girls die: that moment when Rose tacitly offers Karkat sex in return for him finding her brother and instead Karkat embraces her and gives her a chance to cry. As much as that story is a romance between Karkat and Dave, it's also a different kind of romance between Karkat and Rose, and in many ways Rose's trust is harder won.

ready to start the conquest of spaces: idk this one feels obvious to me, but it's Vriska's one and only scene in the story. I'm a Leftist that is tired of the specific twitter-poisoning of my comrades, and the revenant AU is very much about that. While the Alternia of the revenant AU is better than canon, its problems are still present, and its a reflection of the idea "Okay but when The Revolution happens, who will take care of the worst person you know?"

all the world is earth and water: The Bread Scene. I thought it might be the scene where Karkat explains to Dave that all the things in his care are whole and kept, that that's his right, but really: its about the Bread. That's what the whole story is about.

a steady hand, a delicate man: ODD CHOICE I AM SURE but the moment Martin observes Jon giving Daisy the apology bouquet after he failed to safeword out of the scene.

dustsceawung: The held reveal of Martin's white hair, how the Weaver took the color of his hair from him and how it acts as an instantly, unshakeable marker that he is fae-touched. The story is very much about the things people refuse to say, from the moment Martin carefully doesn't introduce himself to Gerry all the way to the end.

SWDKTOWL: okay I cannot escape it any longer. What the fuck is the Eye of the Duck of KTOWL? I am torn between two options. First, the Act Two Finale and the specific way Karkat handles the confrontation with Aranea. Karkat's entire purpose in the story is that he refuses to play by the same rules as everyone else, and when he's facing Aranea, his trust in Kanaya is what saves his life. IF NOT THAT then... It is the conversation Jake and Karkat have before Karkat is knocked out in the penultimate chapter. That is the Eye of the Duck. I think.

THAT'S ALL I GOT. And i'm probably wrong on a lot of these BUT great question.

[ask-the-meteor-crew]

To my knowledge the only bit of canon you've disregarded was the fact that everyone knew karkays blood once on the meteor (see s past karkat wake up: vriskas conversation with equius) and honestly I like how it's playing out without everyone know it's adds more plot to the meteor portion of the comic. Please keep doing what your doing I and many others love it

Imma be real with you, Equius made me so uncomfortable that I kinda blacked out every interaction he had except the part where he died. Like I read it but I do not recall a single word he said.