#i only have to do a short day tomorrow
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can tumblr stop glitching and telling me i have 10 asks????
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I just finished Night Watch and I finally understand why so many VetVimes fics include that graveyard scene. The tension is sparkling and they understand each other
Vimes will let his Patrician reward him for his special place(s) in history -- but only if it's a quiet, sentimental practical gesture. But he will not let Havelock Vetinari ask to spend more time with him when Sybil was Thought Three and she just had their child and the cigar case -- he's going home to his family and your job is to run a fair trial and make sure Carcer hangs, sir, and of course, Commander, well said
I really think the one misunderstanding (which neither catches) is that when Vetinari haggles with "in memory of John Keel" they are thinking of different men, and have different interpretations of "leaving him in the past"
#lord vetinari#sam vimes#discworld#night watch#I have many feelings at the end of this book and this (the ongoing VV psychosocial dance) is just the most recent and easily articulated#to EVERYONE (including Vetinari!) the only John Keel they knew was Sam Vimes#they're both thinking of a man who in a few short days brought sanity to a mad time and gained no recognition for it#but Vetinari thinks 'maybe now I can thank Keel personally. i'm not fighting time anymore. tomorrow- just our here and now duties? fair#whereas Sam thinks 'now no one except me will EVER know him or have known him. and all I can do for him is have Vetinari hang Carcer.'#if i keep rambling I'll go insane
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I got a job as a bookseller!!!
#nat talks#listen. it's not the dream bc I've already worked in a bookstore and it's actually terrible at times#but I only really worked during holidays and people were just so rude#BUT I do have higher hopes for this location#also I tentatively know two people who work there so it will be fun!#it's a sub role and a little unclear if I'll only work during christmas and the book sale in feb or more#it depends on if the people who are on sick leave will return and when#but I can keep freelancing and apply for corporate jobs I want in the meantime#at the very least I can work during december either way and if I end up finding something else maybe I can work weekends during the booksal#so to not let them down too much#I honestly am just looking forward to getting out of the house and meeting people and working with my body more#because my mind is very fried#I have a short shift tomorrow to train#then I'll see when I'll officially start but it will probably be soon!#I've had a very busy few days so I wish I had said I could do my training shift next week#bc they gave the option of this wednesday or next#but I didn't want to turn it into a “thing” by letting too much time pass bc I might get anxious about it#but now I wish I had lmao I'm tired#also forgot I was gonna be home alone with the dog tomorrow#had been looking forward to it tbh#oh wellll#work stuff
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What’s up tumblr hope you had a super fun leap day. sparkle on. big news my first seed start sprouted while I was at work ✨
#might have to change the url bc I’m in my collard era lol#my day was alright#I ate some shrimp curry that I’d accidentally left out all night and was fine bc I’m a scavenger of a person#then bc I started to feel PMDD fatigue I laid in bed with great elan til my shift started#then I spilled coffee all over my work clothes bc I stuck it in a very sketchy travel mug someone left in our house at the last party#and I listened to Screamin Jay Hawkins on the ride to work which was fun#work was a bit chaotic but uneventful and got to spend a huge chunk of it outside#it seems I have way better ball control than I did when I was a kid. whyyy now. i was such a loser I could have used some athleticism#but I’m so glad it’s the weekend so I can go palliative care mode which is what I call my lizard brumation pmdd phase#and stopped by a friend’s house after work which was nice#really rejuvenating#then made a sort of weird frittata w/ beets peppers and potatoes bc I was too tired to actually cook#watched sense and sensibility 1995 and really liked it although I found myself wishing for a bit more anguish. sorry#and I think I might set out one of the frozen almond croissants to proof overnight so I can bake it for bfast tomorrow#will go for a very short swim but probably only about 30 min bc of aforementioned fatigue. then pick up yogurt and a silly little treat#and will have ****** and **** for dinner either tomorrow or Saturday which will be nice#but really hoping Saturday because **** **** ** **** lol#and then Sunday I’m trepidatious about because **** was like what are you doing Sunday and I’m like well I guess having a fraught and#difficult conversation about our dynamic! lol#I’m very lucky to have proactive friends who are good communicators. truly I do not deserve his kindness. but like. god. let me retreat and#lick my wounds!#i shan’t get into it. but just know I know how S&G felt#and then another work week but I’m starting to really get a feel for the routine and what works and what doesn’t#and I’m excited for my next few meal preps we got millet and kale gratin#and a Lebanese chickpea dish the name of which unfortunately escapes me atm#but my mouth is watering thinking about it. saw a vid and was instantly influenced and went to the pantry to see if I had the stuff and I#dooooooooooo#and I do feel like I’m beginning to get past the worst of [event] and its sadness
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Having to display some self control... So so os so badly wanna play my new game that I just bought but it is getting late and I know if I start it now I'm going to have trouble putting it down, and it'll be better if I start it tomorrow cause then I can have as much time as I want to play it and take breaks whenever..
#so glad I dont have school tomorrow cause it is a Sunday cause if I had to wait all day to play it I might malfunction#YES it is very much F/O related#finally got myself Disney Infinity after ages of thinking I wasnt able to without spending a rediculous amount of money#nonetheless I still refused to watch any gameplay of it asides from a few clips here and there...just incase..#I think I maybe watched ONE playthrough episode someone did of it and it was quite short#all I did was listen to the voicelines. But it has been a while so I dont remember them all perfectly..#now i get to go bonkers and hear them all again and have context to them..awugh..#so sorry for what I may or may not do to this blog tomorrow yall#so excited that I will be seeing so many boyfies#especially 99% of them having their actual voiceactors...loough#Kinda quite excited that I hardly really know what to expect asides from what little I remembered!!#I think I watched all the cutscenes onetime so I might rememebr those a little#but I only remember one particular part of it and thats it#incase yall couldnt tell I got it just for the Cars part of it really#on some poster art of it I saw Grem????? And so Im like????????????y#yall better not be teasing me with him#husband Finn however. I will . hit my switch consol with an axe
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one thing abt being chronically ill is the way flares swing so rapidly between being viscerally fucking terrifying and soul-suckingly boring on a minute to minute basis. and the isolation.
#i feel like i cant talk to anyone about this#it's scary! im scared! i know it wont be like this every day forever and ever! but what about tomorrow?#passing out is so fucking scary#let alone having to fight it off 3 times in 4 hours#and the way my brain just fully did not work all morning#could only talk in very short sentences#couldnt process conversations#was moving at a quarter of my usual speed#while surrounded by people who just didnt know what was happening#and how do i explain that to these assholes#Feeling A Little Under The Weather#nah. feel like im actively dying
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I have sixteen hours on a train starting later today, what should I write about?
#i KNOW i have too many WIPs as it is but consider: i'm stalled out on all of them and i want to write another short story#if u are a person who likes my fics it can be fic related but be warned i am currently p much only writing fic#for inn between which is a podcast most of you have not listened to#(<- also you should change that. listen to inn between)#otherwise just like. topics. hooks. character ideas.#even a genre would be a good place to start#if u send me a suggestion i promise to do my very very best to write it#u wont see it until tomorrow or the next day though bc again. 16 hours. on a train.#personal
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i got my wisdom teeth out (abridged version, i was not put under, i babysat a half hour later. long story) and i am in PAIN. also taking out the bloody mess of a gauze every hour fucking sucks. i almost yakked every time i pulled it out of my mouth. the worst part? every time i burp i taste remnants of paper towel. i need to know if anyone else can relate. this is so gross. im tired
#long story short i was going to go to the consultation then babysit#and it turns out the dentist was like 'wanna just get it done now? it'll only take a half hour'#'umm no thank u i have to babysit :) what about tomorrow?' 'really? tomorrow? you're already here!'#your tooth is already infected. you don't want to risk having to go to the emergency dentist' or something#'you don't want to have to drive back out tomorrow. our clinic prefers to do same day procedures'#like sure ok !#this was all said assuming i'd be able to handle babysitting after and the family that i work with was so sweet (albeit so confused about#it all haha)#i don't understand why my wisdom teeth removal had less recovery time and i didnt need to be put under#especially because i essentially needed a bone graft as well because of my sinuses being right next to my teeth#this isn't like a scammy dental clinic though i think there's so many stories of regular dentists trying to upsell#i did get a several hundred dollar discount on the procedure because they didn't take my insurance#only place that'd take my insurance is 2 hours away lol#my mom has a health insurance card she has to put money on every paycheck and in this instance it really worked out#bc if not itd never be taken care of#the gauze part was so hard#also the mom didnt come home til 45 minutes after i was supposed to go home and i was lowkey in agony#because the numbness wore off#and the gauze was so disgusting#i was like. so fed up i lowkey wanted to cry while building blocks with the little kid lol#ibuprofen fully kicked in as im typing this actually we r okay
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I officially finished my 4th iwatex game, and am somehow already halfway through my 5th
I have 96 hours logged. I started playing this game only 10 days ago.
Heck.
#speculation nation#averaging 9-10 hours a day like. ok yea that sounds about right. but Ugh#the good news is ive got my doctor's appointment in 2 days which will hopefully give me adhd meds#which should hopefully help with my executive dysfunction and hyperfocus issues. Smiles.#i really do love this game and im enjoying it immensely. i just also have Shit To Do.#gonna do things tomorrow. i am. im even going to bed at 1 am today and not 4 am! wow!#or 5 or 6 am. which i have been guilty of several times while in the throes of this game.#just. chewing on it. gnawing on it. it is so immensely compelling to me. genuinely.#the exploration and wonder of nature. the growing up and becoming more troubled#the slowburn childhood friends to lovers trope. also Sym. just. Sym. my goth alien boyfriend u are my favorite fr#AND the refreshing takes on gender and sexuality. it's so freeing.#ive seen this game compared to persona games too. which no wonder i like it so much (says the decade long persona fan)#idk it just feels like a game Made For Me.#it has some flaws and some things i wish i could do within it. but even still. it is so so good#im almost doubtlessly going to be writing something for it. the only reason i havent started already is bc im so short on time#for doing my reverse bang fic lol. im trying to wean myself off the game so i can focus back on writing that.#but Afterwards... oh yes. i will write that dys/sol/sym fic that ive been dying to write. mark my words.
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so sad (but also happy and fulfilled) after watching "marry my dead body..." I really need to see Nick smile tomorrow in order to calm my nerves
#haha you thought I could go a day without talking about ofts? no.#mmdy was sooooo cute and I actually loved the ending bc even though it was sad everyone got their own happyish ending#maomao got to reincarnate and minghan got a family and they got to meet and find comfort in each other even if only for a short time....#bububububububububu I'm crying#and of course they'll meet again in their next lives bc they're fated to be together in some way in every life....#just hopefully they'll both be humans next time and they'll meet while they're both alive and have a long and happy time together#in other news I really do hope we see Nick smile tomorrow... ngl the scene with him and Boston from the preview made me happy...........#BostonNick reunification??????#only friends the series#marry my dead body#ofts
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#for some reason tiktok has showed me a lot of videos from a hospice nurse today and what was my first fucking thought?!?!?!?!#a simi story#listen up my fucked up brain i won't fucking write sad stories. no fucking way. do dying no sad end no no no.#and now i'm sitting here crying over these videos while i should pack my stuff for tomorrow to move away#i don't even know how this nurse's page ended up on my for you page when i only watch f1 makeup and graphic design videos#i hate these emotional rolecoasters#like... carlos on pole today = happiness and positivity and i don't let anyone to fuck up my mood i even eat one of my fave foods because#this was my last full day at home and now i'm sitting on my bed after i cried my eyes out and i'm just sad and scared#for some reason all day i was thinking about wanting to write a short little something for myself with one of my fave topics as comfort but#then i didn't write it because i don't want people to think i'm obsessed with that topic or something and i didn't really have the#motivation to write because after writing for prompts this summer it's really hard to write without prompts i mean like without someone#waiting for the story and without someone requesting it#i want to write cute stories and i want to write about that one topic over and over again but it's so difficult because... i can't not#care about what people might think if they saw i have like five stories about it or so and i want more#i sometimes don't know what to do with my thoughts and emotions#my useless posts
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The night is young and I am free to do whatever my heart desires but unfortunately I have once again found myself trapped in the Time Prison and so I
#the good old 'I don't feel like doing anything including doing nothing and I want to go to bed but I know I'm not tired'#WEH.#I'm enjoying typing but I don't want to commit to practicing typing for real so I'm just making excuses to type more#I was looking at custom ESC keycaps because I was thinking about that whole community of ppl obsessed with keyboards and like I get it I#like the clicky clacking and keyboards can look so pretty but some of those key caps man wtf.#why would you want 3D transparent donald duck ESC key from temu what is wrong with you#saw a set of key caps that were little kittys with little kitty ears n I was like fuuuuuuuuuck#49.00 USD probably 100000 CAD+shipping goto helllll#I was thinking about what if I had like confetti keycaps and a custom kittycake esc key or like an actual little cake and matching desk mat#or even just a new cute mousepad cuz mine is old as fuck and I spilled vegetable cream stew on it once#and then I was thinking like sighhh and wouldn't it be cool to have arcade carpet on the stairs leading down to my basement hovel and#rainbow lights along the ceiling corners and what if I painting my bedroom like I wanted to do and sighhhhh#I haven't been wasting my money buying shit like that but I'm thinking about it again.#but the same thing stopping me from doing anything at all is stopping me from wasting my money which like that's good I guess???????#gosh I really like typing why did I stop doing daily typing practice#oh yea The Thing Stopping Me From Doing Anything At All#meow meowm meow meow meow#ok I really gotta tear myself away from my computer and brush my teethses and try going to bed#I already played minecraft earlier it's fine I didn't do NOTHING tonight it just feels like I did#and tomorrow is another day#and next week is a short work week thank fucking christ almighty#literally cuz its easter sunday and he was in that tomb but he escaped or whatever he did#thanks jeezy boy#you maybe shoulda milked it for like half a week at least#moved the big ass boulder like have an inch at a time#*pause for laughter*#that s from my new stand up comedy routine do uiuop like it djfskll;askjdgflksjdflksajdflksjdf the dsjalkjfolidasfgjoiweljsdalkjflskdjflak#meowww#I am the only one I know on here who 'talks' this fucking much about absolutely nothing#I do all this and my poor followers can click read more and spend time reading alllllll this garbage
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maybe i SHOULD just try to get a different job that would be better suited to me
#only i'd feel bad after such a short time because they provided me with a uniform and everything and it's clear that they're short-staffed#at the moment and everyone WAS really nice. it was just that i somehow don't quite jel with the people. and also i don't know if i can#handle being around people for so long at a time. and having to be constantly working and using my initiative to try to find what needs#doing and generally activating the part of my brain that doesn't come naturally to me#and yeah i had another offer for a summer job that i could say yes to. but i think that would burn me out even more bc it's just as much of#being around people only SIX days a week full-time#i just don't know if i'm cut out for being employed in general. but as an adult you sort of have to be because you need money and also just#to do SOMETHING with your life. and i don't want to just become another depressing statistic about the amount of autistic people who don't#work. ugh anyway ignore me i'm just having an existential crisis i guess. maybe i'll feel better tomorrow#emma vents#they should invent jobs that are specifically neurodivergent friendly but i don't think such a thing exists
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finished the first set of stripes on the second front panel! one more set then the decreases, and the rows work up so fast after that it should only take me about a day and a half to do :)
#other#t talks#knitting#ofc im only knitting every other day#and drawing on the off day#(i am intent on actually sticking to that goal this year)#so it will take me 3 days to do#but i will also be starting the back panel the same day i finish the front one so yay!#also going to the store tomorrow to buy more yarn cause im 2 skeins short on the brown and 1 on the mint#luckily the brown being different dye lots wont matter cause its for the sleeves and wont change color in the middle on a piece#the mint im a bit more worried about#but theres nothing i can do about that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#also i have some fluffy 'fur' yarn...what if i made the cuffs and border fluffy...#i dont think i have enough to do that but what if.....#i think i add it and if theres not enough ill just rip it out and save the yarn for a different projects :p
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going back to my apartment tmrw. everything just feels kind of incorrect rn i cant describe it
#bella.txt#like ok my parents moved to be 3 hrs away from where they used to live#but my friends + my grandma r still where my parents used to live#so i have to choose btwn being w/ parents and my dogs or being w/ friends and grandma#and it's not like. a SHORT drive at all. 3 hrs on a good day w/ minimal traffic#+ it takes 7hrs to get from my parents to my apartment but only 4ish from my grandmas to my apartment#so i wanted to be.. over here.. before heading back to school#but idk things worked out so weirdly i only saw my one friend once and i missed her bday and i didnt see my other friend at all and i left#y parents and dogs earlier than i wanted and for no reason bc i didnt even go see anyone i just went to my grandma's immediately like#idk this probably sounds like it's not a big deal but i feel so weird i feel like i didnt plan right how to split my time#and now i'm leaving and idk when i'll be back#and i dont have to go tomorrow but i also. do? kind of? i dont know#kill my entire brain why cant i just think normally abt these things
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Lmaoooooo the visit was cancelled AGAIN
This bitch has cancelled literally 7 times now since I started working there. She has not shown up ONCE. Only one time did we ACTUALLY have a visit but it was like the tier directly below her of corporate
Yeah fuck you I'm never working over for a visit ever again lmao 3x I got burned I'm done 🤗💕
#feel bad for NewLady though bc shes new and like me those 3x she thinks shes doing good for the company#thats so fucking funny though like we just got a text from a coworker and im fucking cackling#i bet 1000% that our team lead that has spent the past 2 weeks in the trenches trying to help us is LIVID lmaoooo#im only mad that i worked as hard as i did today shdhhdhd like i changed my endcap AND moved the brands (even though i should have the boys#shorts on the END but i dont wanna move 200 packs of leggings for that and thats not an exaggeration it's like 200 out rn#but anyway i got the stupid brands together) i bet BaldBastard is pissssed agdgdgdh#he and the managers were hauling ass these past 2 weeks thats so fucking funny like they were BUSTING ass so hard#marquilla#work talk#truly schrudenfried lmaoooo and tomorrows my day off 🤗💕 can finally breathe
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