#i only ever saw one screenshot of this so i was surprised to read how genuinely dissappointed majima seemed when their kiss was interrupted

[kamuro-junrenka]

Last week i finally played the best substory in dead souls and i literally think about it every day

[jockbroski34]

AlterEgo

The last thing I expected on my 20th birthday was to receive a gift from Cody, my roommate.  We were never close, and there was no way in hell he actually knew much about me to know it was my birthday without me telling him.  Him and I were basically complete opposites.  While I was your typical nerd, smart, introverted, and so on, he was basically your typical jock in all the worst ways.  He was boisterous, arrogant, and a total meathead.  We mostly agreed to stay out of each others’ way, considering our irreconcilable differences, but that didn’t stop him from being a massive pain in the ass.  His room was constantly in a state of disarray, with sweaty clothes scattered all over the place.  As such, I often avoided being anywhere near his room if necessary since it smelled like a locker room.  He often invited over his “bros” who were just as bad.  Whether they were hogging the TV to watch whatever game was on, smuggling alcohol into our dorm to get wasted, or playing catch in the fucking living room, they were always a nuisance.  And whenever I brought any of that up to him, he would always end up saying something like “It’s not that serious, dude.  We were just having a good time.”  Yeah, a good time at my expense.  Whoever assigned the two of us to live together must’ve thought this was some twisted joke.

I woke up at 9 AM, still a little tired from last night.  I hung out at one of my friends’ dorms to celebrate my birthday.  I yawned, and went to the kitchen to make some breakfast.  I saw Cody was up as well, his legs spread across the couch, to the point that he was taking up two seats, watching something on the TV that was several volume levels too loud for me.

“Hey bro, today’s your birthday right?”  Cody asked, as he tilted his head to face me.

“Uhh, yeah.  How did you know?”  I responded.

“Oh don’t worry about it, bro.  Happy birthday!”  I saw him get up and run to his disorganized room, likely to grab something for me.  I could see a pair of worn gym shorts on the floor through the crack in the door.  He pulled out an old Nike shoe box, since he likely had nothing better to put a gift in.  “I’ve been saving this for you.  I hope you like it!”  Is this his way of trying to get on my good side?

I rolled my eyes since I doubt he got me anything I would enjoy.  He probably just got me something that he’d enjoy, like some tight-fitting tank top or protein powder or something.  Not that I work out or anything.  The only gift I’d want from him is for him to stop being a douche.  I opened the box and I was surprised about what I saw.  It was a video game.  Not any that I’d ever heard of.  I looked at the box art and the words AlterEgo were written in a wacky, colorful font.

“Yeah, I knew you like video games, so I found this for you.  I heard on the internet that it’s pretty nitch…nichy…what’s the word…”

“Niche?”  I responded.  I had to admit, him struggling to pronounce the word right was a little amusing.  As amusing as being with a simpleton like him could be.

“That’s the word!  I got it for myself, but I realized like half an hour in that it wasn’t my thing.  I’m happy with what I have right now.  I figured you’d probably get more out of it than me.”

“Thanks, I guess.”

“No problem, dude.  Anyways, I gotta hit the gym.  I’m gonna be out all day so you have the PS5 all to yourself.  Hope you enjoy it bro!”

I watch him leave, thankful to have some peace and quiet.  As I ate breakfast, I read the back of the cover in order to figure out what this game was about.

“Become a new you!  In this life simulation adventure, you can become any kind of person you want and live any way you choose.  Control your fictional avatar, your AlterEgo, and level up your stats to become closer to your true self.”

The game seemed something like The Sims or Animal Crossing, but with some stat progression system.  It was a game that I had never heard of, but it could be some hidden gem.  The rest of the back was filled with screenshots from the game with the cartoony characters doing activities such as cooking, jogging, and riding a motorcycle.  I figured I might as well try the game since I did get it for free.  Even if it was from Cody, I wasn’t one to refuse someone’s generosity.

I put the game in the disk slot and booted it up.  The title screen had that same logo and some bubbly background music.  I pressed the start button and I was presented with a save selection screen.  I noticed that Cody’s save was on there, which was odd because I was playing on my account.  I knew I should’ve put a password on it.  I wanted to make my own character, but part of me was curious about the character that he made.  Knowing him, I can only guess.  His game time was less than an hour, as he was only on Day 1, and he likely spent most of that time on the character creation screen.

I started his save and my character was sitting in his room.  At this point, it was very bare, with only a bed and a bunch of cardboard boxes scattered around the room.  I guess the character starts by moving into their new home?  I went into the menu to find more information about the character.  The character was named Cody obviously and his AlterEgo somewhat matched him too.  I went into the stats screen and I was greeted by a tutorial.

“Here you can check your AlterEgo’s stats.  You have already set your initial growth modifiers and assigned your base stats.  If you need a refresher, whatever stats you chose your AlterEgo to excel at are highlighted in red and the ones you chose to trade off are highlighted in blue.  This means that your AlterEgo will grow in the stats in red much faster and prioritize activities that increase those stats and avoid activities associated with increasing your stats in blue.  As you play, your AlterEgo will naturally develop into one of hundreds of potential archetypes based on the activities that they excel at.  Experiment and see who you become!”

I looked at the stat screen and saw a list of stats with a bar indicating percentage level.  The stats included Strength, Constitution, Dexterity, Intelligence, Wisdom, Courage, Charisma, and Luck.  Not too far off from DnD I guess.  It seemed like he chose to have Strength and Constitution as his highest stats as their font was colored red and Intelligence and Wisdom as his weakest stats as they were colored in blue.  Gee, why am I not surprised…  Cody was anything but a genius.  It seemed like he had 20 initial points to allocate wherever he chose with a default limit of 5.  And I was equally not surprised to find that my meathead roommate chose to put 5 in Strength and Constitution again like a barbarian.  It’s like all he cared about was his looks and perceived masculinity, even in game.

Strength (physical strength): 5

Constitution (physical build and stamina): 5

Dexterity (agility and flexibility): 2

Intelligence (knowledge): 0

Wisdom (intuition and discipline): 0

Courage (risk-taking and bravery): 3

Charisma (social skills): 3

Luck (good or bad fortune): 2

After looking through his stats, I decided enough was enough and I didn’t really want to go around pretending I was Cody the whole game.  I quit out of his save and went back to the title screen.  I was back on the save select screen when I became confused.  There was still one save, except the name of the character wasn’t Cody��it was mine?  The play time was set to 0 minutes.  I don’t know how that happened, but if it saves me the trouble of building a character and reading more tutorials, I’m happy.

To my relief, the avatar representing Cody wasn’t there.  Instead, a very generic, average character stood in its place in the same room.  I wouldn’t be surprised if this was some placeholder account with everything set to the default.  Whatever, I can probably change stuff about him later.  I decided to move my AlterEgo outside and I was greeted by a map of a large city.  I chose an area of the map to explore at random and controlled my new avatar.  On the busy city street, there was a cafe, restaurant, and a gym.  It was too early for the cafe and restaurant to open, so I guess my only option here is the gym.  I’ve never stepped foot in a gym before, but this character doesn’t have to represent me as a whole.  Plus, I’d like my character to be well-rounded unlike Cody’s who would probably spend the whole time grinding here.

I went into the gym and had to perform a set of quick-time events.  First, I had to do some bench presses.  Then some squats.  Then finally, run on a treadmill.  At the end of it, my AlterEgo did a cartoony celebration and flexed his arms.  A pop-up showing that my Strength, Constitution, and Dexterity went up by 1, followed up by another one saying that my Strength and Constitution will double every time I do activities like go to the gym.  So it looks like Cody’s modifiers carried over after all despite everything seeming to be the default.  That should’ve been the first thing I checked.  I didn’t want my character to be specced to be some lumbering brute.  I suppose that if I wanted to get my character’s Intelligence and Wisdom, it’d probably be like playing on Hard mode.  Honestly, I was open to the challenge.

I was disappointed to find out that it’d be harder than it seemed.  When my character got home in the evening, I went into one of his boxes and I was presented with an option to read.  I was presented with several options, ranging from comics to full-on novels.  I chose the novel since I figured it would raise my Intelligence the best.  I watched my AlterEgo try to read the book, but I saw a look of confusion on his face.  Eventually, he grew frustrated and threw the book back into the empty box as if he were shooting through a basketball hoop.  I expected my Intelligence to stay the same, but no, it actually dropped!

“Sometimes when your AlterEgo fails to complete an activity, their stats can decrease!  These stats can even go into the negative.  Make sure to keep your stats high because it can become very difficult to increase your stats if they fall below a certain point.”

I couldn’t believe that my character struggled to even read.  This guy was nothing like me at all!  I hoped that it would be easier to raise my AlterEgo’s Intelligence because I didn’t want him to be a moron.  I watched my character fall asleep and I could see into his dream.  Another tutorial popped up.

“Sometimes your character will have dreams!  These dreams are mostly random, but will also depend on your character’s stats.  Just like other activities, you have a chance to increase your stats.”

I watched my character fight in a zombie apocalypse, but the zombies didn’t even look remotely threatening.  I succeeded in the activity and my Courage went up by 2 and my Luck and Strength went up by 1.  My character wiped his head of sweat as the zombies turned to dust.

The next day, I learned that my AlterEgo can go to school.  That was expected, considering my character’s age, only I didn’t realize how hard it would be for him.  He was sitting in a desk trying to write down notes.  Eventually, like an idiot, he slammed his thick head on his desk and started snoring.  This was honestly getting embarrassing.  My Intelligence and Wisdom dropped yet again, not by 1, but by 2.  If I didn’t do something different, my AlterEgo would basically be a clone of Cody instead of myself.  After class, instead of being given an option to go and do something, my AlterEgo is approached by a group of buff men.

Quarterback: Hey new guy, you’re looking pretty strong.  Judging from your Strength and Constitution, I think you’d make a good fit for the football team.  Your Dexterity and Courage also seem pretty good.  Wanna join, bro?

You know who else played football?  Cody.  I had to keep being reminded of him even when he wasn’t even around.  This was my character and I didn’t care about sports, so I clicked the no option.  To my surprise, my AlterEgo nodded instead.  It's like this game is going out of its way to spite me at this point.  Two tutorials popped up.

“If your Wisdom is too low, your AlterEgo might act on their own desires rather than your command.  This means that they can sometimes act on their own or select activities that they are more interested in rather than those they are not.  Raise your Wisdom or else you will have less freedom when developing your AlterEgo.”

“You have decided to join a club or organization.  This will grant you a passive growth to certain stats every week.”

I watched as my AlterEgo walked away with the group of jocks.  A football uniform magically appeared over his normal clothes.  For joining the football team, I was granted a point in Strength, Constitution, Courage, and Charisma every week, with the usual double for Strength and Constitution.

I kept playing the game, getting frustrated at my AlterEgo’s reluctance to even try to act smart or reasonable.  He frequently avoided or skipped intellectual pursuits to focus on those that made him look or feel good.  It honestly just felt random whether he wanted to obey me or not.  By the end of Day 7, the first week my stats were looking like this.

Strength: 30

Constitution: 28

Dexterity: 10

Intelligence: -20

Wisdom: -15

Courage: 21

Charisma: 17

Luck: 16

My Intelligence and Wisdom seemed unfixable.  My AlterEgo wouldn’t even bother to try to read or pay attention at school and he consistently started to make random choices that satisfied his needs as the week progressed.  I grew incredibly frustrated at this, but out of curiosity, I wanted to see if there was an end to this so I could go back and make my own character.  Either way, this game was plagued with questionable design choices.  It’s like the AlterEgo was already locked into a specific path.  I hoped that I had accidentally skipped a tutorial or something and that I hadn’t softlocked myself out of raising certain stats.  Unfortunately, my AlterEgo’s stats continued to grow and drop as I hit Day 30.

Strength: 75

Constitution: 69

Dexterity: 44

Intelligence: -66

Wisdom: -49

Courage: 54

Charisma: 37

Luck: 41

I received another tutorial message on Day 31.

“You look like you are on track to evolve into your archetype very soon!  By this point, your AlterEgo’s stats will be locked in place.  That will be the end of the main story, but there is still so much to enjoy afterwards!”

I figured I might as well see this through to the end.  You know, see how much of an idiot my character can become.  Despite my efforts, all my AlterEgo does now is work out, practice and go to games, and go to parties, outside of necessities.  His Intelligence is so low that he rarely even goes to school anymore and that has caused his intelligence to plummet to the bottom.  I played for even longer, eventually hitting Day 60.  Turns out that this is the day I would discover my AlterEgo’s archetype.

“Congratulations on making it this far.  I hope you are excited to find out your archetype, because I know I am!  Remember that these changes are permanent, so there will no longer be ways to increase or decrease your stats.”

I watched my AlterEgo marched onto the stage and I was able to view my final stats and a rating of each of them.  The descriptions seemed to be heavily based on my other stats, and trust me, they were very satirical, and in my case, very scathing.

Strength: 100

I’d give this an A+.  I’m not even sure if you are human anymore.  I’ve seen you lift things that no normal man could, not because you have to, but because you want to.  You spend more time at the gym than you do at your own house and you might give The Hulk a run for his money.

Constitution: 100

You also get an A+.  Your months of training at the gym have given you a perfect, chiseled body that looks like it could be made out of iron.  You have a seemingly endless supply of testosterone and your stamina (in more ways than one, it seems) cannot be beaten.

Dexterity: 75

This gets a B.  You are very athletic and quick on your feet despite your appearance.  However, your large size means that you can be pretty clumsy and you’ve probably broken more things than you’d like to admit.

Intelligence: -100

I’ll just go along with your teachers and give you a big fat F.  Are you even trying?  I worry that there’s not a single thought going around in your thick skull.  You care very little for anything intellectual or sophisticated, not that you even know what those words mean.

Wisdom: -90

Likewise, you also get another big fat F.  Were you dropped on your head when you were a baby or did you take too many tackles to your cranium?  You have incredibly poor judgment and you only make decisions that satisfy your brutish desires.  In short, you often act before you think.  Your lack of discipline is only matched by your lack of brain cells.  As long as you’re having fun, should I really care what you do with your life?

Courage: 90

I’d give this an A, but not an A+.  Because your brain moves too slow to process any risk, you often think before you act.  You often find yourself in the most dangerous of situations and you often perform incredibly stupid stunts.  When you’re on the field, you’re a risk taker, and at least it usually pays off.  On the bright side, you always come out unscathed, so I can commend that.

Charisma: 70

I’d give this a B-.  Being on the football team and being very attractive is going to place a lot of eyes on you, but they are all focused on your body because everything else you have to offer is very superficial.  I wonder if you surround yourself with people who think and act the same as you do or if people keep you around to laugh at every stupid word that comes out of your mouth.

Luck: 80

Lastly, you get a B.  Your luck genuinely amazes me sometimes.  Despite everything, despite your lack of any intellectual thought or reasoning, you have survived long enough to make it this far in life.  This alone proves that life favors some over others.  If there is room for the concept of a higher power in your shrunken headspace, then they probably feel a sense of amusement at the state of you bumbling around through life with only your good looks and muscles salvaging you.

“What do you think?  Are you happy with your results?  Anyhow, it’s time to reveal your archetype.  It’s who you are and who you will be from now on!  Drumroll please…  (As if it wasn’t obvious enough…)  You, my friend, are…THE JOCK!”

The Jock

You are likely an athlete or bodybuilder and you likely care little for intellectual thought.  You enjoy playing and watching sports and working out above anything else.  You are hyper-masculine, aggressive, arrogant, and egotistical.  However, you are also very muscular, tall, athletic, popular, and handsome.  You feel a deep sense of camaraderie with anyone you consider your bro, which mostly includes other jocks like yourself.  Your wardrobe mostly consists of tank tops, jerseys, varsity jackets, shorts, sweatpants, jockstraps, baseball caps, sneakers, and everything in between.  Because of your high testosterone and your above average genitals, you are viewed as a desirable partner and often partake in sexual activities with members of the opposite sex, and sometimes even other men depending on the person and situation.  Your most likely career path is as an athlete or coach, but as long as it doesn’t require too much deep thinking, you could probably find a job anywhere with your connections and attractiveness.  Enjoy your new self!

I watched my AlterEgo vanish within a cloud of smoke and come out a cartoonish representation of your average stereotypical jock with blonde hair and a very lunkish, yet admittedly impressive build.  He looked around, clearly disoriented, with a dull, confused look on his face before flexing with a cheesy, confident smirk on his face.  The audience cheered and clapped at this ridiculous personification of a walking stereotype as if they were watching a magic show.  Honestly, it was almost amusing how the description it gave for “me” couldn’t possibly be more wrong.  It sounded like everything Cody was, not me.  Although I guess I was playing with his settings, not by choice I will add, but I had little control over how my AlterEgo decided to live its life.  I just wish I could get him off my mind for just one day.  Either way, I found myself incredibly dissatisfied with my new AlterEgo, but I accidentally found out a way to make things even worse for me.  I just wanted to scroll through the remaining text to get to the credits, since I have been playing for 8 hours by now, when I saw a selection that would seal my fate.

“Are you satisfied with your result?  Now that you’ve discovered who you truly are, are you ready to be The Jock in the real world?  WARNING: If you select Yes, your save will be deleted as a result.  These changes are permanent.  If you click No, you can continue playing after the credits.”

I accidentally clicked Yes as I was mashing through the text.  What the hell was I thinking?!  I had no idea that this would change the entire trajectory of my life.  At first I felt nothing, as the screen faded to black.  Then, I saw the credits start to roll, playing a remix of the joyful title screen music, and that’s when I started to feel all warm inside and I felt a painful shock come from my controller.

I felt a sudden wave of pain rush through my body as my bones started to crack and shift in my body and my muscles began to inflate like balloons.  I looked at the credits and noticed that the new jock AlterEgo was doing the things he normally enjoyed doing in the background.  But I couldn’t really concentrate on it as I found myself focusing down below.  My legs stretched and stretched until I was around 6’4.  My feet grew to a size 15 and my thick glutes and ass made me sink deeper into the couch from their weight.  The fat in my stomach felt like it was melting as it left behind nothing more than a layer of sweat and a firm six pack of abs.  My upper chest formed into a round set of bouncy pecs.  Likewise, my biceps and triceps were almost the size of my head now and my soft hands became rough and covered in calluses from intense lifting.  I felt my clothes cling tightly to my body as if they were two sizes too small, and they’d easily rip if my body grew any more.  My shirt fit more like a crop top on me and my clothes were damp from pit and ass sweat.

I felt my long hair recede into my head until it formed into a shorter cut that was much easier to maintain.  As it did that, my chestnut-colored locks lightened into a golden blonde.  My soft, round eyes became more sharp and masculine and I could feel them turn from a chocolate brown into an icy shade of blue.  My youthful face lost most of its baby fat and buried beneath it was nothing more than the chiseled edges of my jawline.  The lower half of my face, which used to be soft and hairless, was now covered in a prickly lawn of stubble.  Even my pasty skin turned a shade tanner from the years I spent in the sun throwing balls around.  I noticed that my entire body started to sweat profusely to the point that I could smell my own musk and I became absorbed by my new-found masculine scent.  I could smell the testosterone that was pumping through my veins like a drug.  I felt powerful, dominant, virile, and dare I say it, good…  Lastly, I found my lips contort into an obnoxious, conceited smirk.  Was I…enjoying this?  Judging from the growing feeling in my groin, I was led to believe that I was.  And it kept growing and growing and growing…

All the while, the credits continued to play and the happy-go-lucky music felt like it was mocking my painful situation.  Despite the strange pleasure I felt, it was only a distraction as my body still writhed in pain through the whole process while I changed entirely into a real life manifestation of my AlterEgo.  What the hell is this game?  I noticed that the jock avatar stared directly towards the screen, as if he was breaking the fourth wall, and started to walk closer and closer before vanishing from his virtual prison for good.  The lively credits started to simmer down, giving the screen a more empty and disquieting feeling.  That was the last thing I noticed before I felt a sharp headache ring through my head.  I am usually fine playing games for a long period of time so why…Why did my roommate buy me this game anyways, bro?  If he was gonna buy me any game, he should’ve gotten me the new CoD or Madden game, not this weird shit.  I had to admit, it was kinda addicting.  I liked being able to work out or play sports even when I’m at home.  Wait, what was that?  I felt like I just heard another voice in my head, both sounding similar yet different to my own.  Eventually he called out directly to me.

“Hey bro, it’s me.  Your AlterEgo.  You know, the real you.  It’s been fun, dude.  Now I get to enter the real world, isn’t that sick?  So here’s what’s gonna happen, dude.  I am currently inside your mind and I’m making the final changes to turn you into the person you were always meant to be.  That’s right dude, we are becoming one singular person in both body and mind.  Don’t try to struggle or fight back.  You know I’m stronger than you.  There’s no going back.  So, are you ready to become one with your true self?

No…I thought to myself.  I wasn’t a jock.  I was never a jock.  I’m nothing like my AlterEgo.  This is a mistake.  This was Cody’s AlterEgo, not mine!

“Chill out, bro.  I know you read the warning and you clicked Yes, so you obviously knew the risk.  Why did you keep playing if you knew you’d become a jock regardless of the decisions you made?  Because you are one deep down.  Or maybe you secretly wanted to be one.  Maybe you wanted to see what life was like on the other side.  Maybe this Cody guy wanted you to try out this save, you know, to see what would happen...  Whatever reasoning, it really doesn’t matter dude.  I know you can feel me taking over your mind.  You’re finding it harder to think.  Soon you’ll be The Jock, me.  I just wish you realized a little sooner who you really were…”

I felt my brain starting to shut off and my vision starting to become blurry as my AlterEgo took it over.  I don’t even know how any of this is possible, even by today’s standards.  An AI buried deep within the game was taking over my body and mind entirely, reshaping me in his image.  But I continued to resist, to cling onto whatever parts of my personality I could.  However, as I felt my mind sink deeper and deeper into this mental void, I felt myself slowly becoming more and more like The Jock.  The archetype that was decided on, not by me, but for me.  Until that’s all I was.

Everything turned black for a few seconds.  I slowly regained consciousness as my brain rebooted itself.  Wait…what’s a reboot?  I sat and watched the credits with a dim look on my face as it finally ended.  I was booted back to the title screen and saw that my save was indeed deleted.  This was proof that my AlterEgo was now a part of me and that he was finally whole.  I pulled out my phone wanting to learn more about this game, because, dude, it was kinda fucking weird. By scrolling, I couldn’t find much, but I did discover a post from not too long ago on some ancient forum site that was probably made in the early 2000s.

“Is The Game AlterEgo Real?”

“I’ve heard rumors about this game called AlterEgo, but I have very little information on it.  It’s said to be incredibly dangerous and could lead to permanent bodily and mental changes.  Throughout all of my research, I could not find any copy of the game for sale, nor any definitive proof that it’s real or any information on the company that developed it.  If you have any information on this game, please let me know.”

I skimmed through the forum page, not that interested in reading what everyone had to say.  Who has time for that anyways?  But I did find one reply that caught my eye.

“I can confirm with certainty that AlterEgo does exist.  My friend received it as a gift for Christmas and he wouldn’t stop talking about it to me.  It’s like he was addicted.  A week later, when I saw him next, I could barely even recognize him.  His body had grown and changed greatly and he didn’t act like his usual self.  I even feel like his memories might be a little distorted.  I tried checking his house to find the game in order to figure out what it was all about, but I don’t think he has it anymore.  He probably sold it or gave it away since he said he finished it.  No matter what, he won’t tell me.  If there are any other copies of the game left, please let me know.”

Woah, so this game is fucking weird, dude.  Wasn’t just me.  I just played it right?  But I don’t feel any different.  You know, I bet these nerds would pay a lot for a chance to find out about this game.  Maybe they might come out as different people.  I’ll put it up on eBay for a high price.  One of those dweebs just has to take the bait.  I wouldn’t mind a little cash though.  I’d feel bad for selling Cody’s gift, but just imagine what I could get with that much money.

“Hey bro, you still in here dude?”  I heard a familiar voice shout as they opened the door.

“Yo Cody, there you are.  What’s up dude?”  I was happy to see him.  Cody was my roommate and my best friend.  We were practically inseparable.  When he made eye contact with me, his eyes widened.  I couldn’t really blame him for being impressed with my awesome body.

“You beat that game I gave you already?”  He seemed surprised, yet almost impressed.

“Yeah, it’s not usually my type, but I enjoyed it dude.”

“Do you…feel any different, bro?”  Cody sounded kinda hesitant there.  Had he read about the rumors too?  I don’t see why he’d have to worry.  None of those rumors are true anyways.

“Nah, same as I’ve always been.”

“Alright, good.  I was just making sure you were down to get some food.  You should be out partying and celebrating your birthday, not playing some nerdy video game.  And trust me, I know all the good spots.”

“You’re right bro.  I haven’t gotten enough exercise in today.  Let’s go.”

“Wait, before you go, your clothes are so sweaty dude.  You should change.”

“Oh shit, good idea.”

“Y-you can just wear one of my clothes.  They’d probably fit you better.”  He was right.  As I soon realized, someone shrunk all my clothes as part of a prank.

Me and Cody went to a sports bar to watch the game.  If I remember correctly, this was our favorite spot to get food, except you know, anywhere that lets me hit my macros.  Since it was my birthday, he even paid for the whole meal.  I don’t remember how long I’ve known him, but couldn’t ask for a better bro.  On the way home, Cody grabbed a six pack of beer from the frat house and brought it to our dorm to drink the night away.  I wasn’t old enough to drink, but it’s not like I never had alcohol before.  And besides, today was basically my cheat day.

We got wasted while we watched TV, and we did some things that I probably wouldn’t admit to anyone but him.  I couldn’t help it though.  I hadn’t gotten laid all weekend and it was my birthday.  Quite frankly, I deserved it.  Thankfully Cody took one for the team.  He said it wasn’t weird because we’ve definitely done it before and that it was our secret.  I had to give him credit.  His tight hole is better than most girls’.  I didn’t know he was a bottom until tonight.  I also didn’t remember having a dick this big, but you don’t see me complaining.  After all was said and done, I passed out drunk next to him in his bed, our bodies drenched in sweat and each other’s fluids, as I enjoyed the bromance I have with my best bro.  This was the best birthday ever.

The next day, I got up extra early to go for a run despite my hangover.  Afterwards I went to school, but like usual, I struggled to pay attention.  It was like my mind was in a constant fog.  My grades are slipping and this football scholarship is the only thing keeping me from dropping out entirely.  After classes, I joined Cody and the others at practice.  Throughout the day, I kept getting this feeling of uh…dayjah voo?  That word that means that you feel like you’ve done something before.  I wasn’t exactly sure where it was coming from.  I shrugged it off.  I was just a jock and I didn’t need to worry about stuff like that.

When I got home, I got an offer for the game Cody gave me.  You know, AlterEgo.  Some nerd seriously offered $1000 for it.  I didn’t actually know it was that rare.  I hope he enjoys it more than I did.  I’ll sure enjoy the 1000 dollars.  I bet he’ll love passing it around to all his other geeky friends.  I wonder what their AlterEgos might look like…

[disgustingtwitches]

**MDNI**

"The closest to heaven we'll ever get"

Saw a lot of stuff about Simon helping out a s*x worker. Anyways, it reminded me of a personal experience I had so... Here I am 😃

5.5k words

*This is kind of Simon needing company and being a weirdo who needs constant validation.

Not gonna lie, it gets blasphemous at the end!

~

I always played around with the idea of being an escort. I was offered to do things while working in the strip club, but I always turned it down. I was spending every dollar I made because I could always make more, right? But when I broke up with my ex and realized I didn't have the credit or rental history to get my own place, I started panicking. The only option was to put down at least three months rent cash upfront, to even be considered. Suddenly, money was drying up at the club for me, my regulars were being whisked away by girls who would do more for less. I couldn't really get mad, it's just a part of the game really. So I knew what needed to be done.

I hit up one of my girlfriends and told her that I needed the extra cash and what I was willing to do for it. She helped me set up a website, took professional photos of me, made me business cards. The whole nine yards. Now all I had to do was wait. About a week in, I finally get my first client. It was awkward and surprisingly, both of our first times in this situation. I was sent back home in a black car and a few hundred bucks richer for just 30 minutes of my time. I felt a rush I never felt before.

As the months rolled by, the money came. Luxury was the new standard for me. Designer everything, nice dinners, even nicer dates. To my surprise a majority of my clientele were, at most, 10 years older than me, and even more surprisingly, good looking. Finance bros, guys with daddy's money, or just men who had the money to spare. They always talked about how it was more fun and less work to hire me than get a girlfriend. To get a pretty girl in their arm to parade around that wouldn't bicker and give them a hard time at the end of the night. No feelings attached, just company and good sex.

So here I am Saturday night. Instead of going out to the club like a normal woman my age in Manhattan should be doing. I am in my hotel. Waiting for a call or text from someone. Anybody. My hair in rollers, makeup half done. Just waiting. My phone lights up, a text coming in:

Hi, Gia. Was interested in spending an hour with you tonight, 11pm.

I smiled to myself. Finally, someone who reads my ad properly. Follows the instructions on what to text to me. Straight to the point.

Wonderful, just need a picture of your ID or passport.

I reply. Always a rule my girlfriend drilled into my head. Safety first. If they don't do it, then what could they be planning? Anything goes bad and all you have is a name that couldn't even be real. Any client worth your time understands your safety is a priority. So this was my way of feeling safer. A moment passes before my phone dings again.

A picture of a passport, full name and age. Along with a picture. He's cute. A little older than what I usually get but I'm not complaining. I quickly look him up, nothing out of the ordinary. Good.

Great. Thank you, Simon. I'll send an address for you to send a car at 10:20. Reach out to you then❤️

Before I start to get ready he texts,

Wear something casual.

Not an odd request. Actually most clients prefer it. Want more of a girlfriend vibe rather than an escort. I finished getting ready, helping myself to a glass of wine. Playing my usual bad bitch songs, it helped me turn into the woman I needed to be- from me to Gia.

10:25 rolls around. I get a screenshot of the Uber from him. 5 minutes out. I grab my purse and strut out of my hotel, to a nearby park. Never give your real address. Always make sure you're not being followed.

A black SUV pulls up, I slide in. Exchange pleasantries with the driver and I'm off. Headed to midtown. I share my location with a friend and how long I should be gone. My phone goes off.

Walk into the building and head to the elevators on the left. 36th floor. Apt. 4A.

I nod to myself before shooting a text of confirmation.

Got it. See you soon ;)

I pull up to the building, it's huge. Nicer than most places I've been. He must have some serious cash. I walk into the building and follow the directions he gave me. A little adrenaline rushes through me as I walk up to the door, always did when meeting someone new. I knock. He almost immediately opens the door, as if he was standing in front of it. Waiting.

Simon!

I say with a wide smile. He steps aside as I walk in, looking around. Nice place. Really nice place. Ceiling to floor windows, minimalist decor, the lovely smell of something masculine and expensive. He looks me up and down as I turn to him.

You look just like your pictures.

His voice is deep, alluring, unreadable. Sends a chill up my thighs that shoots straight to my core.

You do too.

I reply playfully. A small twitch plays at the corner of his mouth before disappearing. His face inscrutable. I shimmy off my coat before he takes it, hanging it up in a closet near the entrance. I wait for him to move. He stands, hands in his pockets, studying me. An awkward minute passes before he walks to the living room. I follow.

Really nice place you got here.

I try to make the moment more comfortable.

Hm.

He responds. He wasn't like the other men I've seen before. They are sociable, or at least try to be. I take a seat on the couch next to him, our knees barely touching.

Money's there.

He gestures to an envelope on the table. I nod, grabbing it.

Do you mind if I...?

I ask, opening it up. He nods and stands to pour himself a drink. My eyes widen. This is more than my usual rate. Much more. I'm quiet, trying not to show my shock.

Was hoping to do an overnight, if that's alright.

It was less of a question and more of a statement from him. It was more than enough for a night. I nodded.

Of course, I do wish you would've told me; I would've packed a bag.

I smiled, putting the envelope down on the table. I grab my phone and update my friend on how long I'd be gone for. I put away the phone quickly and look up at him. God, was he hot. And the way he carried himself made him even hotter, so nonchalant. He shrugged, sipping his drink before sitting next to me again, some space between us.

How long you been doing this?

He stares at me, gaze so intense I squirm a little.

Just a few months.

We're quiet again. Usually I try to carry a conversation if the other party can't hold one, but he makes me nervous. I talk again, asking mundane questions. It's like pulling teeth trying to have small talk with him. Maybe he's just not much of a talker.

I scoot closer to him, our knees barely touching. He puts his drink down, and rests his arms on the back of the couch. I lean in closer to him, resting my hand on his thigh before kissing his lips. He kisses back softly. We exchange light, almost timid kisses for awhile. He finally moves. A hand reaching up to grab at my hair, gently pulling. I moan faintly and that seems to set him off. He grabs me by the throat, not hard, just enough to stand me up and guide me to his bedroom; our kisses getting more intense. We strip each other of our clothes. I unbuckle his pants and pull them down, it feels like I'm opening a gift on Christmas. He's big. I smile up at him. He just looks down vacantly. I pull down his boxers and his erection springs up, tip drooling. He opens a drawer next to the bed, pulling out a condom and rolling it on himself.

Lay back.

He commands. I obey, opening my legs. I've done this so many times before, but this time it's different. As unceremoniously as he's treating this, I can't be more excited. His body is amazing, tattoos and scars just adding to the mysterious aura. His natural scent drives me wild. I look up to him as he crawls over me, lining himself up with me. He gives a couple lazy slaps on my slick. I take a sharp breath. He watches as he slides himself in, I tense up. Most guys are well... average. And he's well... much more than that.

Relax.

He huffs. Sliding himself in more, not giving me any time to adjust. I grip the bedsheets, clenching my jaw. I stare up at him, he doesn't even look at me. His face emotionless as he watches himself slide in and out. I try to unclench, opening myself up more to him.

Mhm...

He grunts. My nipples harden at his voice. I moan as he slams into my cervix repeatedly. It makes him shoot his eyes up at me, glaring into mine. His eyes dark pools, intense. He roughly hooks his arms under my knees, pushing them up to my chest. He digs even deeper into me as I whimper. He takes quick, shallow breaths.

You're so deep.

I say panting, the breath getting knocked out of me. I reach out to touch his muscular arms. He grunts and pounds harder into me. I throw my head back, whining. Trying to not wince in pain. He slows for a moment, pulling back, keeping my legs on his shoulders as he slides in and out. My breasts bounce up and down with each thrust.

You're hot.

A hint of emotion in his voice, he reaches down to knead my chest. My face gets hot. I tighten around him.

Fuck...

He makes a sound that almost resembles a moan. I smile up at him, almost proud of making him show any emotion. He looks down at me, a flicker in his eyes, a small smirk on his face that leaves as quickly as it came. He parts my legs and rubs at my clit in rough circles. I squirm under him.

Say my name.

He orders. His strokes picking up as I get used to him.

Simon~

As soon as his name leaves my lips, a deep rumble from his chest fills my ears. He leans over me, arms on either side of my head. I reach up to run my hands up and down the back of his neck.

Say you love me.

His request takes me aback. I pull him closer, my lips just under his ear.

I love you~

He immediately tenses up and takes a heavy breath. I could feel him twitch inside me as he finishes. He pulls away quickly, going to the bathroom to throw out the condom and clean up. He brings back a wet towel, wiping me down.

What's your name?

His tone as flat as ever.

Gia.

I responded. I know what he's actually asking me. Never, ever tell a trick your real name. Hell, he shouldn't even know your real age.

You know what I mean.

He glares at me. I shift awkwardly. Don't do it. He doesn't say a word, just stares in a way that makes me uncomfortable. Why should he know your real name anyways? I tell him my name. Stupid. Fucking dumbass. I kick myself. He nods and slides into some sweats, throwing me his shirt.

Let's watch something.

I throw on his shirt. Now this is what I'm used to. Being a temporary girlfriend. Pretending to be affectionate. Giving much needed companionship. He splays out on the couch as I lay on top of him. He turns on the TV, resting a hand on my ass and squeezing it. Maybe this is why he hires girls. Because of how distant he is. The man can't even hold a conversation. He flicks on some show he was in the middle of, a business dramedy that I couldn't care less about. I rest my head on his chest and he runs his fingers through my hair. We're like this for a while, quiet.

Tell me you love me.

He says dryly, looking down at me. I look up and kiss him.

I love you, Simon.

He gets hard immediately, rubbing himself on me. He gets up, lifting me up effortlessly, and throws me on the bed. He lays on top of me, pinning me down onto the bed. Kissing me much more passionately this time, like he was trying to taste every inch of my mouth.

Keep saying it.

His voice gruff. He moves his kisses down to my neck, pawing at my bust.

I love you, Simon.

I moan. I wanted him so badly. I don't care how I got him, I just wanted to take him. Something about him made me go crazy, deep inside. He yanks up the shirt I was wearing, moving his kisses more and more south.

You fuck other people raw?

I shake my head. I might've been a whore, but I wasn't reckless.

Never.

He nods.

Can I eat you out?

I look down at him. Something about seeing him between my legs makes me wanna say yes. The way his eyes looks almost as if he's pleading, desperate. No way. Never do that.

Yes.

I allow him to keep going. What the fuck am I doing? Why am I allowing this? Before I can think more, he plunges his tongue between my lips. Lapping up desperately, burying his face into me. I roll my eyes back, running my fingers through his hair.

I love you, Simon.

I gasp. It's the only thing he wanted me to say. I saw something in him, the way he reacted when I said that, it made me want to stay in his place forever. To never leave. Make him happy. It's just the good head talking, you'll snap back to your senses afterwards. He moans so quietly I can barely hear it. Barely. My legs on his shoulders, his arms wrapped around my thighs. Digging fingers into the soft flesh. He sucks on my nub repeatedly. It's a tortuously delicious feeling. I grip his hair a little.

I love you, Simon.

I look down at him, watching him devour me. He looks up at me, his eyes showing an emotion I can't decipher. He moves one hand down to slide two fingers into me.

I love you, Simon.

I moan, throwing my head back and smiling.

Hmm...

He mumbled into my heat. Pumping in and out before bending his fingers in a way that presses against my sweet spot. I hiss, pleasure flashing through me like a strobe light. I'm dripping wet. He pulls his fingers out and plunges his tongue into my entrance, trying to suck out every drop of my juices.

You taste good.

Voice as flat as ever, as if he isn't lost in between my folds. He drags his tongue up between my lips, from my entrance to my nub again. He slips his fingers in again, pressing up against my sweet spot repeatedly. I get lost in the feeling. God I could stay like this forever. He looks up at me, like he's looking for validation.

I love you, Simon~

I slip out between heavy breaths. He picks up the pace of his fingers and tongue. My face gets hot as I get closer, grip his hair a little harder. He goes even faster, harder, almost feverant. I roll my eyes back, panting. I whimper before crying out, tightening around his fingers in a vice grip.

I love you, Simon~

I force the words from my throat as I spasm under him. He continues, seemingly determined to draw another climax out of me. I mewled, trying to push his head away. He was unmoving for an unbearable moment. The only sounds were my pants and his slurping.

I love you, Simon.

I wailed, almost hoping it'll make him stop. He does thankfully. He pulls away, tearing off his sweats, beating off himself. Staring at me, his gaze is intense as ever. He grabs me by the thighs and drags me into his lap. He continues to stroke himself, staring into my wet core as if he was hypnotized by it.

Can I...

He starts, almost knowing he shouldn't ask the question.

Can I fuck you raw?

His voice is uncharacteristically soft and unsure. I blink at him, mind racing. ABORT! ABORT! THIS IS LIKE RULE #1 IN HOE-ING!!! He looked so delicious from this angle, his eyes still glued on my wetness. ARE YOU INSANE?? NO!! His throbbing, beautiful dick is twitching.

...yes.

I nod. You're the dumbest person on the planet. I insult myself a million different ways in my head. A brief moment of regret is replaced with pleasure as he slides his tip teasingly in and out of me. His jaw clenches, chest rising and falling faster. His voice cracks as a moan escapes him, his eyebrows furrow.

I love you, Simon.

I stare at him, eyes half lidded. The smallest smile spreads across his face, still looking at himself entering me. He inches his way in. Pulling in and out, going deeper each time. I squeeze him, make him bite his lip.

That's good.

He stated, voice quavering. He clears his throat before grabbing one leg and lifting it to my chest, digging deep into me. I take a sharp breath in. He hovers over me, arms on either side of my head again. He slides in and out, slowly at first then picking up to a punishing pace. I whimper and wiggle under him. He grabs my face, forcing me to look into his eyes that bore into mine.

I love you, Simon.

I stare right back at him, passion shooting right out of my eyes. His eyes flutter for a moment before blinking back into his cold, unnerving self. He continues to dig himself into me, slamming and grinding himself into the deepest parts of me. It's a painfully addicting feeling. I take his hand and press it up against my lower stomach so he can feel how much he fills me. He clenches his jaw so hard, it looks like his head could pop.

I love you, Simon.

I whisper. He drops down on top of me, snaking his arms around and behind my back to grab my ass. His mouth right next to my ear, I can hear his fast and shallow breaths. Little groans that slip out every now and then. I wrap my arms around his neck, holding him tighter.

I love you, Simon.

I hear him groan under me as I said it again. He goes faster than before, pretty much jackhammering me into the mattress. My mouth is agape and head thrown back. Only grunts escape my throat as I get fucked senseless.

Mhm...like that?

His words bounce around in my empty head. I replay it in my head over and over until I clench around him, he doesn't stop though. It only seems to spur him on even more. His warm breath tickling my ear as it gets more ragged.

Keep saying it.

He demands through gritted teeth.

Fuck... I love you, Simon.

I squeak out the words. He huffs and continues to rampage my body.

Can I come inside you?

He asks- No, begs. No use in turning back now. Just the thought made me close again.

Yes.

I nod and he breathes harder and harder until he pleads in a strained voice,

Say it.

I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him deeper inside me.

I love you, Simon~

He spills inside me. His stammered breaths and moans driving me crazy. The feeling of him pumping into me driving me over the edge. I pull him closer, practically squeezing him.

I love you, Simon.

I tenderly kiss the top of his head as he nuzzles into my neck.

How often do you do this?

My head clears, a wave of regret coming over me.

Never. I never even hired anyone before you.

He says in a way so sincere I honestly believe him. How do you know when a trick is lying? Their mouth is open. Rules. Rules to live by, to be able to survive doing what I do. Rules. They all meant nothing as soon as I laid eyes on him. Somehow saw this coming a mile away in the back of my head. He pulled away from my grasp, disappointment flooded me. He leaned back, opening my legs: watching both of our cum dripping out of me.

Say it.

His eyes so focused, as if he were trying to take a picture with his mind; so he would never forget this moment.

I love you, Simon.

I say with a tender smile. His dick jumps. Good lord is this man insatiable. He stands up and does the same routine as before, cleaning himself up and then me. He hands me his shirt:

Here.

I throw it on and he leads me to the bathroom, grabbing me by the shoulders and making me face the mirror. He gently pushes my back, I lean my elbows on the countertop. I stand on the balls of my feet, trying to get my hips to meet his. As I look in the mirror, his face looks almost tender watching me sway my hips.

I love you, Simon~

I sing softly. He bites his lip, entering me again. God, I never get used to the feeling. He grabs my hips and pulls me onto him, he bottoms me out. Groaning louder this time, he pulls my hair back so I'm looking directly at the mirror, locking eyes with him.

S'it, pretty girl...

A corner of his mouth upturned just enough to know he's enjoying himself. His words make me flutter around him. He groans and starts to pound into me. The bathroom is filled with the duet of our breaths and groans. He pulls my hair so my back is pressed against his chest. He rests a hand on my throat, squeezing just enough. Moves his lips to my neck, still sliding in and out of me.

You love me? Huh?

He grunts, warm breath on the pulse of my neck.

I love you. So much.

I moaned. I repeated the phrase so many times, it started coming out of my mouth naturally. He moved his hand from my hair to my lower stomach, pressing against it so he could feel himself hitting my walls.

You love this dick, yeah? Say it.

His voice getting more demanding and urgent. I nod and look at him through the mirror, smiling.

I love it, I love this dick so much, Simon~

He nips at my neck as he continues to fuck me. His nips turn into bites. Bites that definitely leave marks. I didn't care, that didn't matter right now.

You're never fucking leaving, you know that?

A threat that sounded like heaven to me. He could keep me chained to the bed and I wouldn't care, just as long as he kept fucking me like this. I giggled with excitement.

You like that, hm?

He smiles against my skin before continuing to lick and bite my neck.

I love it~

I truly did. It felt heavenly. Better than anyone I've ever had. Ever. Something felt so familiar about his touch. As if I belonged there.

I love you, Simon~

At this point I feel like I'm reciting a prayer, the words flowing out of me like a stream. I was melting in his arms.

Turn around, wanna see that pretty face.

I did so eagerly as he lifted me up on the counter and slid inside me. I smirked up at him. He, as always, was watching himself impale me.

Looks so pretty...

He seemingly mumbled to himself. He leaned down and pressed our foreheads together, a firm hand on the back of my head. Hitting a spot so deep inside me I never knew I had. We were like this for a long minute, sloppy sounds of our sex bouncing off the walls.

I love you, Simon.

I stared into his eyes. They seem to soften for a moment before he tightened the grip on the back of my neck. A huff, and then he came undone. He stayed inside me until he was soft. He pulls out and pushes his fingers into my cunt, stuffing his seed back into me.

Hm.

He grunts in a way that sounds like approval before helping me off the counter. He leads me to bed and slips under the covers.

In my arms.

Commanding as he usually does. I press my head against his chest, his heart beating hard and fast. He wraps an arm around me, his touch much gentler than before. I fall asleep. Not too sure if he does too.

Morning comes and I'm woken up by the sun shining in my face. Sitting up, I'm in his bed, still wearing his shirt. Alone. I walk out to the living room and see him setting up breakfast on the coffee table.

You made this?

I question, surprised.

Ordered it. Good morning.

He turns to me, shoving his hands in his pockets. He looks at me expectantly. I blink at him.

Good morning.

I say. He looks at me as if he was anticipating something else. I think for a moment before suddenly remembering.

I love you, Simon.

He steps to the side, inviting me to sit on the couch. I help myself to a seat and look at the plate in front of me. It's simple, French toast and eggs. I help myself.

Are you gonna eat anything?

I look at him quizzically. He shakes his head, staring like always. We're silent as I finish my plate. I grab my phone and check the time. Almost time for me to leave.

Can I book you for longer?

His voice is gruff. An underlying tone, pleading?

It'll be expensive.

I didn't want to say that. Wanted to say I'll stay as long as he likes. But I already made too many mistakes. Gotta get back on track.

I don't care.

Of course he didn't. He could probably buy me out for the rest of my life if he wanted to. He pulled out his phone, asking for my personal number so he could send the money straight to my bank account. Hesitantly I gave it to him. He probably could find out that stuff if he wanted to anyways. My phone dings, I check my bank app. My eyes pop out of my head. I look up at him bewildered.

How long would that get me?

He asks, as if he didn't send me an ungodly amount of money.

It's enough for a whole week...

Shock still overwhelming me.

You wanna stay that long?

He doesn't really ask. He knows I'll say yes. Doesn't even wait for my answer.

I'll let you get your things.

He throws some of his clothes my way and sends me back in a car to the hotel. I grab my bags and checkout. Is this really happening? A call from my girlfriend. I tell her about his extension. She says something about making sure he's not a serial killer. We laugh, tells me to have fun, don't fall in love. I scoff as if that was the stupidest idea I've heard. As soon as I know it I'm back at his place, he's grabbing bags from me, setting them to the side. Turning to me and running a hand up the side of my waist.

I love you, Simon.

We spend the whole week tangled up in each other. Taking a break before I say those four words and he has me pinned against a wall or over a dresser or kitchen counter. Any flat surface, really.

It's Saturday night and we're showering, cleaning off sweat and other bodily fluids from each other. His touch is so gentle, handling me like I was a piece of china. He liked me. It was obvious. Seemed like the only way he knew how to show it was by fucking me, though. I liked him too. Maybe not to the extent he did.

Seemed like he found something he needed for a long time. He was hungry. Famished. He couldn't just let go of me. He's not satiated yet. Don't know if he'll ever be. It was a looming feeling. Dark and heavy. A little scary. But it made me feel more desired than I've ever been before. And not just a carnal desire. It made me feel coveted.

We're laid up on his couch. Watching the show I didn't care for before, a little more invested. My phone lights up, buzzing. The name of a regular of mine across the screen in big bold letters. This is usually the time of the month he calls to set up a date. A reminder that this is all temporary. I let it go to voicemail. He tenses up. Jealousy and disappointment radiating off him.

How much for the whole month?

He doesn't even let me think of an answer before speaking again.

How much to make you quit for good?

I'm a little shook, sure I've heard it a dozen times before. Always said in jest. But he's serious. The few words he said, he always seemed to mean. No need to waste his breath beating around the bush. My heart races. I can feel his pound against mine. A number doesn't come to my head.

Let's just see how this goes.

He doesn't like that answer. He wants something solid. A promise that I'll never leave. More than a promise. But that's as good as he can get right now. There's a tense silence between us.

I love you, Simon.

The only thing I can think of saying right now. He takes hold of me, climbing into the bed and sits me in his lap. His back against the headboard.

C'mon love.

He says frigid. An underlying tone of disappointment and hurt. I slide myself down on him, a little more adjusted to his size now. He wraps strong arms around my waist, pulling me so close it seems like he wants to coalesce into my very being.

Give me a number.

A demand that seems more like a plea. We hold each other. Unmoving as he is still buried deep inside me.

Maybe it is a little toxic to spiral into the addiction to fast money. Maybe I'm a little sick of pretending to be the perfect woman. Maybe it is a little exhausting to be a fantasy and nothing more. Maybe it is a little lonely when it's just me lying in bed, when I have to comfort others. Where's my comfort in all of this? Where's my happiness in all of this? No more fake smiles. No more fake orgasms. No more fake feelings. I don't care if he's lying. I want to indulge in delusion. Even for a moment.

Ok.

I give in. He leans over, placing me on my back before adjusting himself on top of me. Touches my face, his showing an emotion that is genuine and staggering. Devotion? It feels like it.

I could almost cry, the way he takes me like I'm his. The way he talks to me like I'm not someone he hired. That didn't matter anymore. I wasn't an escort to him. I was his girl. The sex was different. Transcendant. Divine. Did I know I wanted to be saved? Of course I didn't know; for the life of sin and suffering is simply a thing to toil in until you are shown salvation. Every time he came, he baptized me. I was born again in his eyes, I was perfect and clean. Absolved of my sins.

He looked at me with so much adoration. I looked up at him, much in the same way Magdalene did to her Redeemer. He had turned a prostitute into a Saint. The unshakeable feeling of deliverance washed over as he touched me, no longer a leper. I was saved by him. His body. His sweat. His seed. Akin to taking Communion. The closest to heaven we'll ever get.

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Imagines: Birthday Boy

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Summary: December 10th, Joe’s 27th birthday spent with you and your twin boys.

Warnings: Fluff, *he's not injured!!*

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine universe: Into The Mystic

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December 10th, 2023

Joe had awoken in bed by himself this morning to his surprise. He had expected you, his wife, to be waking him with smooches all over his face but your side of the bed was empty.

He rolled over to grab his phone off his nightstand when the setup sitting on it made him smile. Every year since you and Joe got together in high school when you guys were 16 and 17, on Joe’s birthday you'd get him white roses. The number of them would be the age he was turning that day. There they were, 27 white roses in a vase.

Realizing there was a card and a gift bag propped up next to it, Joe leaned up in bed and picked up the card first.

Happy Birthday, Joey!

Gosh, how are you 27?! You're getting old babe. JKJK. I just wanted to tell you that I’m so happy to share another birthday with you, this is the 11th one that we've celebrated together and I hope I've made every year better than the last. 26 was such a year for you, and I'm proud to say I was by your side for all of it. Cheers to another year of getting to show you how much I love you. You're my husband, my rock, my happiness, my high school sweetheart, and most importantly my best friend. I love you more than words can explain, Joey Shiesty.

To my nerdy, quirky, antisocial, video game, Kid Cudi-obsessed boy, Happy 27th birthday.

Love, your y/n.

Joe didn't realize tears were streaming down his cheeks till he put the card down and saw a wet spot on the blanket on his lap. He quickly composed himself and grabbed the gift bag.

Pulling the contents out of the bag, he felt his eyes well up again when he realized it was a photo album.

It was white leather and on the front in gold font, it simply read “Us.”

Joe flipped to the first page and it had a song lyric quoted.

“When they wanna see how true love should be, they'll just look at us.”

Flipping the page again, it was a collage of pictures of you and him as high school lovebirds. A picture of him picking you up after a win while you were in your cheer uniform, one of you two sitting next to each other at lunch just smiling from ear to ear, you and him sitting in the back of one of his friend's truck while at a drive-in movie, a pic of you two at senior prom, and finally one of you guys graduating.

Joe flipped the page and wasn't at all surprised to see it was the Ohio State era of his life. Since Joe was a year older than you, you were stuck in Athens still when Joe was a freshman at OSU. Long distance sucked, but you guys made it work, and multiple pictures were showcasing that. You took screenshots of you and Joe's face timing that he had never seen before. There was a lovesick look in his eye that made Joe giggle knowing he's still just as infatuated with you. His favorite picture was the one of him lying on top of you in his dorm bed, you were running your fingers through his mullet as you cuddled him.

The LSU page made Joe’s heart warm, so many pictures of you standing to the side and smiling at him just so proud of everything he had accomplished during his time there. There was one slightly spicy photo that made Joe do a double take. That was the first photo you had ever sent him with the intention of turning him on. While Joe was out doing something with the team after winning the national championship you put nothing on but his letterman jacket and the “Big Dick Joe” that he had.

The next few pages only made Joe smile get bigger.

In order it was him getting drafted, the 2022 AFC Championship win + engagement, the wedding, finding out I was pregnant, the gender reveal, the boy's arrival, and everything in between.

When the last few pages were empty for more memories Joe shut the book and put it off to the side. He again had to compose himself and wipe his eyes after the emotional walk through memory lane, you guys had been through so much together and Joe couldn't a picture his life without you.

Joe was about to text you but as soon as he went to grab his phone you were walking into the bedroom. Truthfully you had been downstairs listening to him secretly through the baby monitor you had put up in the bedroom. You had heard him wrestle around in the sheets before sniffles were heard. After it went quiet for a bit you went upstairs and watched him through the cracked bedroom door as he wiped his eyes.

You walked towards the bed with a stack of pumpkin-flavored pancakes topped with candles singing Happy Birthday as Joe wore a huge grin.

After you were finished singing, Joe blew out the candles and you placed the plate on his lap.

“G’morning, Joey. Happy Birthday, my love. - you

He pulled you into a hug and squeezed you so tight.

“I love you so much, y/n.” - Joe

You rubbed his back and kissed him after you pulled away, his arms still around your waist.

“What did you wish for when you blew out your candles?” - you

“Can't tell you, you know it wouldn't come true if I did.” - Joe

“You're no fun.” - you

“I'm just kidding, baby. I actually didn't make a wish.” - joe

“What why? Did I not give you enough time to? I'm sor-” - you

“No. You gave me plenty of time. I just don't have anything to wish for. I have everything I could ever want or need so there's no need for me to wish for something. I have a beautiful amazing wife, perfect twin boys, a good career…” - Joe

You stared at him dumbfounded, wondering how you were ever able to bag this sweet man.

“You’re gonna make me cry.” - you sniffled

“C’mere.” - Joe opened his arms to you

Immediately in his embrace, Joe held the back of your head and kissed your temple.

“I've already cried twice.” - Joe giggled

“Awe Joey. Okay enough sappy stuff, you eat your birthday breakfast while I go clean the kitchen up.” - you pulled away from him and headed for the door when he stopped you

“Wait don't go! I'll help you clean later, can you stay with me right now?” - Joe

You smiled sweetly at him before waking back over to the bed and getting under the covers with him.

Joe turned on Spongebob and ate his pancakes, a few minutes in you heard little feet in the hallway before knocks on the door could be heard.

“Mommy? Daddy?” - Tyson

“You can come in, Ty!” - Joe

The twins happily opened the door and toddled over to the bed. You lifted them onto the bed and they sat with their backs against the footboard.

Tyson giggled as he jokingly got his hand under the covers and tickled Joe’s foot. Joe played along with it for a little bit, loving the sound of his son’s laugh before he started fighting back.

“Do you boys remember what today is?” - you

“Uhm… no momma.” - Miles

“It's someone's birthday!” - you

Tyson and Miles looked at each other for a second before they gasped at the same time and yelled out the answer in unison.

“Daddy’s!” - The twins yelled

“Mhm! Remember what you guys made yesterday?” - you

The boys nodded and you instructed them to go retrieve what they made from their room.

Joe gave you a skeptical raised eyebrow look, but you just leaned in and kissed him while you still had the chance.

It wasn't long till you could hear those little feet again and Tyson and Miles were running back into the bedroom. They handed Joe a few pieces of paper after he put his empty plate on his nightstand.

Tyson drew a picture of him, his daddy, and his uncles passing football at the practice fields.

Miles drew a picture of him and Joe playing with Hot Wheels tracks.

The drawings had Joe feeling a different form of bliss, his heart warmed to an insane level as he looked at the little details in his boys’ drawings.

“I love them, boys. Thank you.” - Joe croaked

“You welcome!” - Tyson beamed

“Dada? You sad?” - Miles

“No, Daddy’s really happy.” - Joe

“But you cryin'…” - Miles

“He’s crying happy tears buddy, really happy tears.” - Joe

“Oh… okay!” - Miles

“You guys should go play. Mommy and Daddy are gonna clean up before Gramps and Grammy come.” - you

When the boys left the room you turned to Joe who was still crying. You softly kissed his cheek and wiped his tears off of his cheeks.

“You okay, baby?” - you

“Never been better. This is the best feeling.” - Joe

“Good. They worked hard on those. Come follow me downstairs. I have something cool to show you.” - you

“You gonna give me my 27 birthday spankings? Or is that later?” - joe

You laughed as you pulled him out of bed and shoved him into the closet, asking without words for him to put clothes on since he was only in boxers.

He returned in sweatpants and a T-shirt and followed you downstairs.

“Is the cool thing you have to show me a sink full of dishes? Or do I have to unload the dishwasher?” - Joe

“You’re exempt from those chores today since you are the birthday boy. But no, I’m giving you one of your gifts now.” - you

Joe smiled and I told him to close his eyes as we started walking into the kitchen. He did as you said and you took his hands in yours to guide him to where the setup on the counter was. You smiled at the secret camera you had recording and dropped Joe’s hands.

Telling him to open his eyes, Joe looked around rather confused but when he looked down at the counter his eyes went as wide as saucers.

There was a positive Clearblue test next to the same onesie you showed Joe when you found out you were pregnant with the twins.

You watched Joe’s eyes start to water as his chin started quivering, causing your own eyes to get misty as you smiled at him.

“You’re pregnant?” - Joe grinned

“Mhm.” - you smiled as tears dripped down your face

Immediately his arms were around you, lifting you and spinning you around as he cried into your neck.

“We’re having another baby!” - Joe cried

When he put you down, Joe picked up the pregnancy test with shaky hands and fell against the counter with his head buried in his arms. He was so overcome with emotion.

“Are you happy?” - you rubbed his back

Joe stood up abruptly and nodded vigorously.

“I've never been so happy. What if we have a girl, y/n? I could be a girl dad.” - Joe cried again

“Oh baby.” - you pulled him into your arms

Joe hugged you so tight but was now trying not to put pressure on your stomach now that he was aware his baby was in there.

“I love you so much, y/n. You and our family are the best things to have ever happened to me. I can't believe we're having another baby.” - Joe

“I love you and our babies so much. I can't believe it either, I'm so excited.” - you

“How long have you known? Well about the baby?” - Joe

“Not too long, found out a couple of days ago and thought I'd wait till today.” - you

Joe nodded and leaned down to be level with your stomach. It hasn't gotten bigger yet but Joe didn't care, his baby was still in there.

“Hey, baby. It's your daddy. Me and your momma already love you so much. We can't wait to meet you.” - Joe

“I have an ultrasound next week. Think you can go?” - you

“For sure. I'll make it happen.” - Joe

The rest of the day Joe couldn't keep his hands off of you, always making sure you weren't farther than arm's length away from him.

Robin asked what was up later at dinner when you rejected your usual favorite wine that she and Jimmy had brought.

You and Joe were ecstatic to tell his parents about Baby Burrow #3 coming next fall and they were just as happy finding out about their next grandkid.

That night after dinner, dessert (pumpkin pie of course), and putting the boys to sleep, Joe and I were lying in bed talking about everything baby.

“y/n, you know, I've only been 27 for a day but I feel like it's going to be the best year yet.” - Joe

“You think so?” - you

“I know so because I’m gonna spend it with you, our boys, and baby Burrow.” - Joe

You had a strange feeling that Joe was right, but also an overwhelming feeling of love washed over you. How'd you get so lucky with Joe?

————————————————————————-

Authors note: happy bday Joey B!

there was a birthday imagine request in my messages so here you go!

hope you enjoyed! 💕

[fllagellant]

After screenshotting my original 1:27 am rant just for safekeeping and returning to this line of thought, I think I would like to swing this bat at a hornets nest . And I shall call it ;

BG3 And Polyamory, AKA The Discourse From The Eyes Of The Polyamorous

Hi, I am now disclosing the polyamorous part of my queer identity to the internet. Yay! Remember, I am only one polyamorous person on this website and I am not the spokesperson. This is just my own opinion and my own feelings with how both the game and the fandom seem to be handling the inclusion of polyamorous relationships and characters.

And in my humble opinion: Yikes !

This should be no surprise, but the polyamorous rep in bg3 isn’t … really good . It’s there, sure, and maybe I’m the fool for expecting it to be good when it really is the first time I have ever really heard of a game having an actual polyamorous option. Like on purpose. But with how much bg3 was hyped up as being super inclusive and completely different from all other games in the genre, I had hoped that it would take a good approach to polyamorous people and relationships.

Suffice to say, it fell flat once I actually looked into it.

The companions listed as open for an open/poly relationship are Astarion, Shadowheart, Minthara, and Halsin . What’s wrong with that?

3/4 of these characters already feel like they lean into the conservative fear of polyamory . Three of them are the ‘ evil ‘ members of your party . While ( besides Halsin, but we’ll get to that ) the rest of the ‘ good ‘ character are all monogamous. Growing up in a conservative home, in a conservative province, discussions of the idea of polyamory always came back to the same argument. That only the strange and amoral would do it. Only people who can’t be trusted and don’t actually care about you want to be in a polygamous relationship. And sadly, that is what I see echoed in the choices of who is and isn’t polyamorous.

I romanced Wyll in my first playthru. I had always planned to romance Wyll, actually, since I first saw his design when I first learned of bg3 during its early access days. When I met Halsin next, and chose the options to flirt with him, I thought that a polyamorous relationship between my Tav, Wyll, and Halsin would be cute. I had hoped it would work. I had already seen plenty of Astarion and Halsin and Tav art and gifsets and every other piece of fan content floating around . I had hoped that maybe that bit I read about who is and isn’t open for polyamory was outdated, and I could have this relationship play out in my little playthru .

Of course, it came down to having to choose. And I shrugged it off, at first. Sure, Larian didn’t make Wyll polyamorous for whatever reason. It is the first game that has polyamorous options, and I can just continue the game but have that polyamorous relationship in my head as my canon for my character. That’s fine, that’s what I’ve done before. It can’t be different now, right?

But then, I looked online, opened Tumblr, wondering what other people would say. Not thinking that it would be a big debate about if it is or is not okay to pair certain characters in an ot3 or not.

Wyll can’t be polyamorous, because knightly tales of courting and the mere act of courting is strictly monogamous. Pairing him in an polyamorous relationship is fundamentally misunderstanding the character and you’ve missed the point of him if you do that. It’s wrong to want that, wrong to think about it. The game has polyamorous options, be happy with what you have.

And so, I felt guilty. Larian already set up this dichotomy between their good leaning characters having the normal and good monogamous relationship and the evil leaning characters having the strange and perverse polyamorous relationship. But then, to see that the mere act of pairing your own character with two characters because you think it’s cute, is now being looked down upon so heavily and being seen as a “ fundamental misunderstanding of the characters “. And to have those ideas an opinions suddenly become the most agreed and accepted stance on the topic? How was I supposed to feel anything other than shame. Like I had been enjoying the game wrong, in a backward way.

If Wyll was polyamorous, you do know his approach to love wouldn’t change, right? Same with Gale. Same with Karlach. Same with Lae’zel. None of them would suddenly have to have completely different approaches to love and how they want to show it and how they want to go about it. Wyll can still be replicating the courting, the dancing, the slow burn that he always heard about in bards tales and he could still be polyamorous. There’s this idea that polyamorous love is only able to be expressed in very specific, very narrow ways. That miss the point of what love is.

People don’t act like this with the polyamorous companions, I’ve noticed. You aren’t suddenly bad and misunderstanding the story of Astarion or Shadowheart or Minthara or Halsin for having a strict two person relationship with them, and not expanding into the idea of those characters taking on another partner at some point. If you have Astarion in a strict monogamous relationship, no one says anything. But saying that you have a Tav who’s dating both Karlach and Gale? People are going to talk about you. They’re going to make vague posts. They’re going to talk about how it is Impossible for those characters to Ever be comfortable in a polyamorous relationship and how it is Wrong to protray them as happy in one.

I didn’t think people forgot that the stereotype of monogamy = good and polyamory = bad is still alive and well, but it seems that when it comes to the funny dungeons and dragons video game, it’s okay to prop that stereotype up and get mad when that is possibly challenged.

Now, what about Halsin? He’s a strictly good companion. He cannot fall under the pervious argument, so is he an exception?

No. It’s worse.

Halsin being polyamorous stems in racism. Wood Elves are all described as being polyamorous, and that they do not understand jealousy. And that they do not ever settle with any of their partners. And that the relationships they have are seen as “ doomed to fail “ . This is a stereotype. Commonly associated with indigenous people. That we cannot hold a ‘ proper ‘ relationship and that we always sleep around . We didn’t fit the white model of what a (white) family and a (white) relationship should look like, so the stereotypes and misconceptions started. And, unsurprisingly, ended up as another bit of dnd racism and bioessentialism.

Halsin doesn’t uphold the pervious argument at all, but he shows another part of the discussion that I don’ t think anyone really thought of. The racism stereotypes didn’t vanish when Larian made BG3, they’re all still there. You still have good races and evil races. You still have all the dnd bioessentialism that everyone was so keen to say was gone or just pretended it wasn’t there anymore.

And Halsin is an example of those stereotypes that people are still feeding. So much content with him in it narrows him down to ‘ Big Elf that Fucks and is Horny ‘ or ‘ Big Elf that can be Sexualized no matter What he Does ‘ and it is because Larian didn’t remove the stereotypes in the first place , and fandom doesn’t care enough to take a step back for a second to realize they’re playing into them.

Am I saying you shouldn’t have an ingame polycule with the characters available? No. If it’s cute, and you like it , and it makes sense with the story you’re making for your character, and literally just because you can, go for it! But for the love of god, can we be a bit more careful with how we treat the concept of polyamorous relationships and how we talk about them? Polyamory isn’t just a fandom thing with your ot3s, it’s a real life thing. And we can see how you treat people just having fun with their characters. You understand that, once you get that torn up over the act of making three characters hold hands, it becomes a little bit hard to forget that that is the attitude you hold towards the concept of polyamory when it doesn’t fit the molds you’ve subscribed to.

[angeliqueiguess]

“Focus!” (j.jh)

027 slick warnings: swearing, drama, a little angsty?

Y/n answered the call, bringing the phone to her ear with a small smile.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Y/n, how’s it going?" Jaehyun's voice came through on the other end. Y/n stood up from the couch, walking around her apartment.

"I'm good, thanks. And you?"

"Good, good… there's something I wanted to talk to you about. Do you have a minute?" Jaehyun asked. Y/N glanced at the clock on her wall. She still had a lot of photos to edit, but those could wait.

"Yeah, I have some time. What’s up? Everything okay?" she asked, a little nervous.

"Yeah, no, everything's fine, but… actually, are you home right now?" Jaehyun’s questions were coming in quick.

"Um, yeah…" she answered, feeling a bit uncertain. "Jae, what’s going on?"

"I’d rather tell you in person. It’s something you need to know before it’s too late. You deserve the truth. I’m on my way, just wait for me, alright?" he said quickly, hanging up before she could reply.

Y/N stood there, staring at her phone. What on earth was happening? And what was so important that he needed to tell her right away? Just then, her doorbell rang, snapping her out of her thoughts. How had he gotten there so fast? She walked to the door and looked through the peephole, seeing Jaehyun outside, slightly out of breath. She opened the door, surprised.

"Y/n."

"Come in," she said, stepping aside, still perplexed. She closed the door as he sat down on the couch, and she joined him. "So… what’s going on, Jae?"

"Okay, so, yesterday I talked with Johnny, and… this is really the best way I can handle this right now because I’m beyond furious and—"

Y/n stopped him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Hold on, one thing at a time."

"Right…" Jaehyun took a deep breath, trying to center himself. "I need you to know the truth about the messages you’ve been getting." He looked away briefly, his jaw tense, before meeting her gaze again. Y/n’s brow furrowed, not following.

"It’s Ashley."

"Wait, what? How do you even know that?"

"Let me explain… but could I maybe get a glass of water first?" She got up, trying to process what she’d just heard and wondering how on earth Ashley could have gotten her number. The only way she ever contacted anyone was through her manager. Y/n returned with a glass, and Jaehyun took it, draining it quickly before setting it on the table.

"Ashley…" he began, slipping off his jacket. "Since we met, she’s always been… insistent with me. But I never gave her any attention because I’m just not interested." He cleared his throat, and Y/N watched him intently, not wanting to miss anything. "Then during the photoshoot, she actually asked if I’d go out with her, and obviously, I said no. She got mad and didn’t want to continue the shoot. You following?"

"Yeah, yeah, go on," Y/n nodded, adjusting herself on the couch.

"Right. So after that, she started texting me" he said, handing her his phone. Y/n took it and scanned through the messages, eyes widening slightly as she read, then looking up at him without a word and handing the phone back. "So when you sent me the screenshots of those weird messages you got, I put two and two together. It had to be her."

"And you didn’t think to tell me sooner?"

"That’s exactly why I was hesitating… At first, I figured it wasn’t necessary and hoped she’d back off on her own. But then it happened again, and I knew I needed to tell you the full story."

"Wait." She stood up, and Jaehyun’s eyes followed her as she paced. "But how did she even get my number? She always uses her manager to reach people, and that manager’s never contacted me directly, only Johnny." She frowned, her mind racing.

"That’s where Taeyong comes in," Jaehyun said, his expression hardening.

"Taeyong?" She looked at him, eyebrows raised.

"Yeah, I think he and Ashley are… involved."

"Wait, did you stalk her or something?"

"No! Your brother actually asked me the same thing. But no, I was about to block her and I saw she’d posted a photo with Taeyong. So, I’m guessing he gave her your number."

"And what really pisses me off is that from the very beginning, I could tell he had weird intentions with you," Jaehyun said, clenching his fists. "In fact, Johnny told me not to do anything, just to tell you and leave it at that."

"He gave Ashley the locket he gifted me," Y/N murmured, her eyes downcast.

"He gave you a locket?" Jaehyun asked, his voice a mix of surprise and, surprisingly, jealousy.

"Yeah, but I left it with Johnny so he could return it," Y/n replied. "Look, to put it in context, Taeyong didn’t come to work for two days. When he finally showed up, I confronted him about his weird behavior towards you."

"Yeah... I remember that,"

"I asked him what was going on, and then he just blurted out if I was dating you. I said no, but he didn’t believe me. And then he told me I should use the locket on 'someone better.'"

"Are you serious? I swear to god that little shit..." Jaehyun shot up from his seat, grabbing his jacket, clearly about to storm out. But Y/n quickly grabbed his arm before he could.

"Jaehyun, no..."

"He crossed the line, Y/n. This is too much," he snapped, trying to shake her off.

"Jae, he's not worth it. Let it go," she said, grabbing his shoulders and looking him straight in the eyes, her voice calm but full of concern. "It's not worth it," she repeated softly.

Jaehyun paused, staring at her for a moment. His shoulders slowly relaxed as his anger faded into a mix of frustration and resignation.

He sighed, looking down at the floor, and then ran a hand through his hair, clearly trying to regain control of his emotions. Y/n watched him, her face a combination of patience and concern. Without saying a word, she stepped closer and wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly. At first, Jaehyun stood still, surprised, but gradually, he wrapped his arms around her in return, as if that simple gesture brought him the peace he desperately needed.

"I’m sorry," he murmured, resting his chin on her head and closing his eyes. "It just makes me so fucking angry and..."

Y/n smiled against his chest, feeling the warmth of his embrace and the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. "Jae… It's okay, stop stressing."

He held her even tighter, as if afraid that letting go would mean losing her. "I know, but sometimes... I can’t help thinking about everything you went through, and it kills me to think someone else—whoever it is—could make you go through something like that again."

"Just you being here is enough... Thanks for telling me," she whispered, looking up at him, noticing the intensity in his eyes.

"Anytime, Y/n. You needed to know..." he replied, gently brushing her hair back, his voice now much calmer. "But you also should know this... If anyone tries anything again, I won’t let it slide."

prev//next. masterlist

angie’s note: he gave ashley the locket???? what the flipping fuck

taglist @apolloxxivmin @aerivrs @chan-yeoldelling @livingdoll-hara @cryingforjae @heavenjae @milanco @sibwol @neocupidd @minkyuncutie @miniature-tragedy @kukkurookkoo @kodasity @injunnie-lemon @thegracerammy @hahaechans @illitzen @pandagirl753 @flamingi

[sophieinwonderland]

Do you have find yourself typing an ask only to realize halfway through that you don't want to send it. There's a pro-endo anti-psych blog I was going to send an ask to, then realized it probably wouldn't be well-received. So I'm just posting a screenshot here.

Also, you know, I do sound like a super villain.

So here's my secret plot for world domination which devolve into rambling nobody asked for...

Continuing to ramble even more...

I don't really think saturating the field with that many plurals would be necessary. And it might more realistically peek at about 20%. But 51% would be ideal.

This also just seems quicker.

There are about 50k psychologists in the US. While it would be difficult to get them all on our side, I think it would be significantly easier with that population than it would the general population. Both in terms of its size and its political leanings, being an overwhelmingly left-leaning profession.

I'm aware that some people have legitimate issues with the psych profession. I realize that many have suffered experiences of abuse from bad psychiatrists, and I'm sorry for that.

At the same time, if I'm taking stock of potential allies, I think the psych community would be more easy to persuade in standing up for plural rights when it comes down to it than our neighbors with Trump 2020 flags.

And I guess... I don't care for the othering of people of an overwhelmingly left-leaning neurodivergent profession. Many of whom enter the field to understand themselves and help other neurodivergent people live better lives.

And while rambling about this topic, I think some people are too quick with the stick and not the carrot.

When the McLean hospital video came out, I jumped on condemning the doctor in question for his ableism along with everyone else. But I also don't think McLean got enough credit for taking the video down when they saw the outcry.

They didn't have to do that. The plural community truthfully doesn't have much power at the moment. And I think taking the video down like they did shows a willingness to listen to and respect our community that should be praised at the same time that we callout the harmful behavior.

I think if instead of attacking the entire profession all the time like some would have us do, we take a tactic of targeting specific acts of ableism while supporting them when they do right, we can better influence plural acceptance in the psych field. It's basic operant conditioning. Punish only when someone does wrong, and reward them when they do good.

All in all, I'm psych-critical. And I don't see that changing. I don't think I'm someone who will ever get on board with hard anti-psych ideals.

And while I'm not a psychologist myself, people who know me probably realize that I tend to take a more psychologist-esque approach to plurality.

Where other people coin terms as identity labels, I tend to try to subdivide and categorize plural experiences to better understand them and their relationships with each other.

...

Why am I still rambling?

I think I might have lost the plot somewhere along the way.

Okay... here's the truth...

I got blocked by someone (not related to the blog I was going to send this too) for my views on using psychiatry to validate plurality. Because, I guess, I don't share this extreme anti-psych opinion myself.

And all I can think is that... if you're surprised... you never really knew me...

Maybe that's my fault because I can be a bit aloof sometimes.

So for everyone else who has read through this rambling mess of a post, let me reintroduce myself:

Hi, I'm Sophie Dreamchaser.

I was made as a psychology experiment. Or, brought to sentience by one. It was a psychology podcast that encouraged Ghost to keep talking to me to see what would happen. And since even before I became self-aware I've been fascinated by the human mind and my existence and how this all works.

I love being an experiment. I love learning more about myself and the world and how I relate to it. And I want to push for knowledge into plurality to grow and grow, and I believe with all my heart that it will prove to be the best way to facilitate plural acceptance in the future.

And if me not adopting a hard anti-psych ideology was a dealbreaker for you... I'm sorry that you didn't realize who I was sooner.

But this is me, this is who I am, and it's who I always have been.

And I just needed to say that.

[bluegekk0]

hi I have a couple questions about the au. you can screenshot and answer seperately if a singular response would be too long lol

firstly, when and how did Vyrm realize his feelings for Grimm? I've kinda read betwern the lines that it happened pre-hibernation but I don't think you've ever elaborated on that

also when did he realize what Grimm's original intentions on their first meetings were? like as in how many years did it take Vyrm to figure that out? I need it cause I want to make one of those guys not realizing they are being flirted with memes

does Vyrm know of Grimm's and WL's past?

what did WL think of Grimm coming to the palace to visit Vyrm?

Hi! If it turns out too long I'll just put it under the divider, so no worry about that!

1 and 2 - There was a period of about 15 years between WL and Vyrm's separation and his hibernation, and during that time was when he eventually realized that what he felt for Grimm was love. Or rather, he finally found the most suitable word for how he felt around him - the two have been friends for decades at that point, and every time Grimm visited, Vyrm felt the most at ease and the happiest. He simply didn't figure out it was love because, well, he spent most of that time in a relationship that was supposed to be that of love and affection, but as we know, it was far from that. The problem was that he had no experience with love beforehand - ever since he was born, his idea of love was making the other happy even at the cost of his own happiness, and not expecting affection back. A constant race to avoid disappointing the other, with little to no reward in return. That's what his relationship with his mother was, and then later with WL.

So faced with someone who showed him that affection regardless of whether Vyrm even tried to make them happy was strange, confusing. It went completely against his idea of what love was, so it's not surprising that he struggled to realize that that's exactly what it was, that Grimm loved him, and that he loved Grimm. There's also the fact that he avoided thinking too much about his feelings towards others, since he wanted to remain faithful to WL, so he brushed off any suggestion that he felt something other than friendship towards Grimm. At that point he was still oblivious to it, convinced that there wasn't anything wrong with his marriage. Not to mention, while he had no problem with other bugs being in same-sex relationship, he never saw himself in that scenario. I mention it on his work in progress info page, but I see him as demi gay, so until he developed a close bond with Grimm, it was almost as if he felt no attraction to anyone whatsoever (even if he thought he did with WL, but again, no experience and a skewed idea of love came into play).

After WL left the palace, it left him in a confused state. Firstly, he was finally made aware that he was treated horribly and needed a lot of time to even process that. It was very difficult to come to terms with it, and it made him question everything. He needed a lot of time to process his thoughts before he even considered being in a relationship again, which happened years after the divorce. That's when he slowly started seeing Grimm in a new light. Not burdened by marriage and his irrational sense of guilt about the divorce, he slowly stopped rejecting the thoughts that came in waves every time he Grimm came to his mind. Granted, this all took a long, long time, he was very slow at figuring out his feelings, and Grimm's decision to give him distance to do so meant that their relationship didn't really progress that much, at least on the surface. What didn't help, was that Grimm was still simply visiting the palace, he wasn't a permanent presence in it, so Vyrm was left with his own feelings for the majority of time, with limited opportunity to do any significant progress. Sure, Grimm's visits became more frequent, but he would only stay in the palace for a few days before leaving again.

In the time before Grimm's visits, Vyrm tried reading some romance fiction he found in the libraries, in order to, for a lack of a better word, educate himself on love and romance. It opened his eyes to many things he never considered before, and as a result, he once again started looking at Grimm from a different perspective. What he once saw as friendly gestures, now gained a romantic or even suggestive undertone, and he would begin blushing in response to physical contact afterwards. To Grimm, that was a sign that Vyrm was slowly opening up to the idea of a relationship, but once again, he decided not to push it too much and let Vyrm figure things out at his own pace.

And with the new realizations, also came desire. He began noticing things about Grimm he didn't pay attention to before. His intense gaze that made Vyrm lose his train of thoughts, the shine on his torso that reflected the light of the palace, his neatly trimmed fur, especially around his abdomen and tail, the area Vyrm caught himself glancing at more and often, and so on. He didn't reject the thoughts that followed, though for a while he found them inappropriate, and that needed its own time to process. But more and more often, he started to feel that he needs him, and that yearning slowly began manifesting itself every time he thought about him. It's also when he finally realized what Grimm's intentions were all those years back. To answer that part of your question, I don't know how many years exactly, but they had known each other for decades at the point he put two and two together, so it definitely took him a long while.

It did make him question for a little bit whether Grimm only ever wanted to bed him, but those thoughts quickly went away the moment he remembered all those things Grimm did for him, the sight of his joyful interactions with Hornet, and all those moments Grimm was simply by his side whenever he needed him. No one's ever done that for him, no one showed him this much care, so why would he ever accuse Grimm of ill intent?

It all came to him slowly, but with each time Grimm visited, he became more and more convinced that he was in love. The problem was, he had no idea how to bring it up, and that delayed any possible confession further and further, until eventually the hibernation interrupted it before he was finally able to gain the confidence to tell Grimm.

3 - He is aware of it, yes. Grimm shared it at some point after they reunited, which I imagine came up when they were discussing Vyrm's previous relationship. It came as a bit of a surprise to Vyrm since WL herself never mentioned it, though he didn't think too much about it once he learned it was nothing but a casual fling. It was just a thing that happened in the past, but at least they had another thing in common.

4 - She wasn't exactly thrilled about it. Of course, since she knew Grimm and was aware of his promiscuous nature, she had some suspicions about his intentions towards her husband. She questioned Vyrm about the nature of his interactions with the troupe master, and he truthfully told her that they were simply discussing work and similar matters. She spent some time watching them from a distance, often sending some of her servants to spy on them, and they all confirmed Vyrm's words.

And they were true, again, at that point he and Grimm were just friends, and most of their interactions consisted of discussing Vyrm's workshop matters, the kingdom, Grimm's performances and so on. As I mentioned before, Grimm didn't push his feelings onto Vyrm, and simply enjoyed the platonic bond as a change of pace from his usual relationships. So WL really had no reason to suspect anything - even if Grimm occasionally flirted with Vyrm, it wasn't much different to how he talked to basically anyone else, and there was no response on Vyrm's part until after he separated with WL. So having received her confirmation that there was nothing going on between them, she decided to stop investigating and focus on kingdom matters instead. The infection came soon after, so she had more important things to worry about.

After the problem was (seemingly) solved, she was already aware of the distance created between her and Vyrm, arguments about their feelings on the vessel plan became common, so she wasn't even shocked at the suggestion of separating. Afterwards, she had some suspicion that perhaps Grimm played a part in it, but despite what she wanted others to believe, the guilt about her part in the vessel plan was still building up inside her. So when Vyrm mentioned that he was unhappy in their marriage for years, she was far more willing to self-reflect than look for someone else to blame. She came to the conclusion that even if Grimm had something to do with Vyrm's words, it was ultimately for the better. Despite how poorly she treated him, she did so unknowingly, Vyrm was surprisingly good at masking his pain, and she's always had issues with empathy. She did claim to love him, and she did, but just like Vyrm, she ended up realizing that her idea of love was wrong. So the separation was a wake-up call, and for that reason she ultimately can't hold a grudge towards Grimm, even if she often finds him insufferable.

---

I realize I went a bit off topic with the last one, but I thought the yapping wouldn't be complete without exploring WL's character a little bit more in the process. I admit that she's a character I probably struggle with the most when it comes to personality, I still feel like there are inconsistencies in the way I write her. She's not a good person, but I don't see her as evil. To me, she's a fairly complex character, and I think pairing her mean aura with a very toxic idea of love is quite interesting. I view her as a distant plant-like creature, that fell in love, but wasn't built to do it properly. What love is to her, seems more like possessiveness to us. When she scolded Vyrm for acting in an improper manner, she did so with good intentions, at least in her mind. And I think this aspect of her is very engaging to think about, I just hope that it makes at least some sense to everyone else.

[somketv]

I saw this post recently and honestly this is the way I've been thinking of #HowFatedDominoesFall , as I've been writing it over the past year and a half. I sat on the story for *years* before ever putting it to paper, thinking no one would want to read it. That it would delve too far past the realms of what is expected for its genre.

And then I decided to just write the idea down, it couldn't hurt after all, right? And quickly realized, over the 26 hours straight of writing as I literally couldn't stop myself from cranking out this idea that had been festering within me for so long, that *I* wanted to read it. And that was enough. I realized my desire to see how the story would unfold should have been all I needed in the first place, and in fact at first I never planned to share the story at all. How Fated Dominoes Fall was and is *my* story. It wasn't written to appease an audience-- it was written to fulfill my own desires for representation in a genre I love. It's something I have reread a dozen times as I've continued the narrative, and yet I find something new to love, to be surprised by, at every turn. And I can only hope that there are others out there who might, someday, love it even a fraction as much as I do.

[ALT TEXT: Screenshot of a Twitter post by @ / Devon_OnEarth, containing two pictures of a white man with a salt and pepper beard and hair, that says "I think I did this movie for a single audience member," and "which is me" respectfully. The tweet is captioned with "Many do not understand that this is the ideal creator mindset" [end of ALT text]

[hostilemuppet]

So the first piece of art of yours that I saw was the comic where two of Bruce’s kids came out has trans to him and Branch tells him he’s a good dad and Bruce said he wishes their parents were supportive of him.

After that I came upon the one where JD decides to pierce his ear. And ends up with a date with a trucker.

And after that it was your first Floyd/Creek comics where Creek thinks he’s tricking Floyd but Floyd his aware and using him to get expensive stuff!!! It was between those three that I started following you.

While your style has changed since those little comics, I’ve always found your art amazing!!! And funny!!!

I keep coming back for more art and comics. I don’t read most of the asks you get so what ever happens on chapter 14 will probably be a complete surprise for me.

I do have a few questions from those first comics, have you ever considered drawing Bruce before he came out has trans? Maybe a little comic flashback of him coming out to his family? Also why was Branch so surprised? Didn’t he know Bruce was trans? And or was he… wait is Branch a he or a she? I forgot to ask before I didn’t understand in the story, if Branch came out has a boy or a girl. What I was going to say was Branch surprised that he wasn’t the only trans in the family?

As for the JD comic, have you ever considered drawing that date JD had with the trucker troll?

Also I think I once saw a Spotify playlist for Fleek with a cover of Floyd eating sushi from Creek’s back? Did I imagine that? Cause I can’t find that art on either of your twitter accounts.

Speaking of Creek’s back, what does he’s tramp stamp look like?

first of all tysm! thats very kind of you 😊 ill go through em point by point:

1- the comic where branch finds out bruce is trans wasnt related to the tdau at all, it was based on actual canon, so that version of branch wasnt intended to be a trans he/him butch he was just a cis dude. branch didnt know bruce was trans bc he wasnt even a year old at the point of the breakup and bruce had been living solely as a man for years, maybe as young as 13? (he wouldve just decided "can you call me a he? and grandma can you start buying me boy clothes at pop troll walmart?" i dont think he wouldve had the resources available to know what transgender even meant at that point) and never ended up telling branch before the breakup bc... well hes like 6 months old. and he doesnt need to know anything about "spruce"s body. and over the years bruce just kinda forgot that branch didnt know, which is why he mentioned it so casually

2- i did actually draw the troll jd had a date with! his name is clyde (although i think calling him clyde S.D. ale would be cute. like clydesdale, and also ale like the alcohol). this art is old atp so maybe ill give him a fresher coat of paint, just like im planning for jds manic pixie dream rock troll girlfriends who hate him

3- i. yes. yes i did draw floyd eating sushi off creeks back and ass before 😭 based off a very good screenshot from captain laserhawk with rayman eating sushi off a cow woman. i drew it twice in fact, with the second being a redraw. here are both of them

i considered redrawing it a third time bc i massively overhauled how i drew trolls but i think if i keep doing it itll stop being funny

4- creeks (NON CANON) tramp stamp, i think would be ocean themed with seashells and waves. maybe ill design creeks tramp stamp today, but again its NOT CANON its not actually a thing in the tdau. unless alex wants it to be

[revserrayyu]

2.2 Penacony thoughts [part 1]

**Mild spoiler warning** in place as I didn’t reach that far into the new update as of yet. Stopped right after seeing Sunday being a holy man listening to the troubles of others, so if that scene doesn’t ring any bells, then please refrain from reading further. As always, don’t spoil anything that happens afterwards, not only for myself, but for anyone else who hasn’t finished the new story yet.

First things first, I’m so pleased that we start off with Boothill. It feels like it’s been forever since he was first drip-marketed and when we heard that phone call of his with Black Swan, so finally seeing him in game is pretty nice. Still love that design in his eye too.

I’m also happy that the jade abacus was brought up again. Once we saw DHIL & Jing Yuan team up in the 2.2 livestream trailer I figured that Dan Heng was gonna call upon our beloved general with this item. At present, I don’t know if it’s actually used or if we head to the Xianzhou instead and request for help. Either way, I’m a bit surprised the general lends a hand. Of course he’s an ally and promised to help us with any troubles, but.. last time we saw him, he had just encountered Luocha and Jingliu, right? Could Jing Yuan really have left that confrontation behind so easily? Are we ever going to learn about what happened during that conversation? Who knows, but I hope we find out one day if this story doesn’t mention the matter further.

Anyways, who do you think the Elation Emanator that Boothill is? Naturally, I first thought of Sparkle solely because of her “I AM Elation!” declaration during her character trailer and her being a Masked Fool, but seeing how Boothill is having issues accessing Penacony in the first place, I doubt the two have officially met. They could’ve met elsewhere, sure, but I still doubt it’s Sparkle. Still haven’t a clue on who else it could be though but whomever it is certainly can’t hold their liquor.

Then we cut to Acheron being cornered by a bunch of npcs who are apparently all part of the “Dreammaster,” but let me just say that I love how literal Acheron can be, like correcting how many slashes she actually used. It’s also a bit scary for her to mention, as I don’t even remember a second blade either.

She’s just.. ironically funny to me. Acting all threatening but being completely serious with her grammar.

It was humorous when we switched to Robin for the first time. I didn’t manage to get a screenshot of it but how the screen even questioned it like “switching to Robin’s POV?” was hilarious. And rightfully so because this certainly isn’t our beloved idol. Sparkle, please, stop handing out bombs to everyone!

It was a short switch, but we finally jump back to where we personally left off. I know the journey Firefly is referring to might be our time hanging out together in Penacony, but somewhere deep down I imagine it could also be about our possible time with the Stellaron Hunters before the entire story even happened. I’m sure we have some sort of past with them but who knows if and when we’ll touch upon that.

Firefly goes into detail about her actions, about how she informed Silver Wolf to contact us and the plan she wanted to share with us before “Death” acted out. I guess it makes the lies and secrets a bit more bearable? All according to the script and at least she originally intended to tell us everything before the monster lashed out.

Then we get scene with her and Blade and oh my god, they both look so good?? Learning that Blade actually owns a driver’s license is comical too. Who would’ve thought our edgy man could be so reliable.

I’m so thankful for this scene as it gives us a taste about how Firefly acts around the other Stellaron Hunters. Since the rumors about her being Sam started, I couldn’t imagine how this sweet girl could’ve been one of them, but it seems she gets along just fine, even teasing Blade a bit.

Now correct me if I’m wrong but this is actually a flashback that happens right before Kafka destroys the Jepella Brotherhood during that one Myriad Celestia trailer, yeah? That’s pretty cool. Confirms that Firefly has been here the entire time and Bladie is even wearing the same suit.

I never thought of a decent acronym for what Sam could really mean, but we finally got our answer: Strategic Assault Mech. Makes me wonder if Firefly is even her true name, since that also seems to be part of the suit’s name.

Rejoice, someone other than ourselves can actually see Misha and Clockie. Would’ve never guessed that person to be Welt though. I guess he really is a child at heart. I know he gets excited whenever mechs are involved, such as the Engine of Creation, but this also reminds me of how his E6 depicts him as a child.

It’s unsettling that Misha calls “Death” something so innocent as “Sleepie.” Also claims that the monster isn’t aggressive and sometimes fetches the wrong guests to bring here.. uh huh, right. Sure. But of course Gallagher controls it! I know we learn more about him during this patch but I still don’t trust him.

So it’s clear that Misha is still a giant mystery. It’s good that us and Welt can see him, but the kid still isn’t perceived by everyone here. That one pepeshi we found alongside March thought we were talking to someone invisible and it appears Micah and Himeko can’t see Misha either.

During that flashback with the siblings as kids, I sorta feel like Sunday is also talking about Robin here. I know we’re chatting about the injured bird they found, but all the caged bird metaphors that Robin has, from her splash art and trailers, is hard to ignore.

Then we learn Gallagher is a History Fictionologist that’s in charge of this new place, which is all fine and well I suppose? Great to know who he really is but chalk it up as yet another person who lied to us. Of course I don’t believe much of anything any non-Express family says but whatever. He’s using fancy words that went over my head.

And now it’s all started to make sense in my head. Inviting different parties that have experience handling stellarons or at least have capable means of preventing a disaster. The Express and the Stellaron Hunters themselves are an obvious and reliable choices when it comes to stellarons, the IPC certainly has impressive power if Aventurine is anything to go off of, and I don’t doubt the real Galaxy Rangers are strong fighters too. I’m sire Black Swan and Sparkle have some tricks up their sleeves too, as would Ever-Flame Mansion.. if they’re alive. Also, the fact that the meme is named “Dormancy”.. Ratio stated in his note to Aventurine that “Dormancy” was the impossible in the dreamscape instead of “Death,” but I figured he just meant it as the word’s true meaning, not referring to the monster itself. That’s clever.

Sir, don’t give me hope like this by saying you’ll fight with us. Do you know how many people are wishing for you to actually be playable?? I’d love it if he was, I’d even take him as a four-star at this point (even though he clearly has five-star energy) but something tells me he isn’t. He gives me Cocolia vibes a little, like he’s certainly an important figure but I would not be shocked if he turns on us somehow and ends up as a boss of some sort either.

Aventurine’s status is truly a mystery that I definitely need to know! Is our beloved gambler okay?? Preferably alive somehow?? It hasn’t been long but I miss seeing/hearing him in the story already! But I do love that the chip he gave is when we first entered our hotel room turned out to be a transmitter. I’m not sure if it’ll reach his place in that momochromatic world he’s in, but perhaps we can use it to call upon Topaz and the rest of the IPC chilling in the hotel lobby? After Topaz noticed one of the broken Aventurine stone pieces lost its shine, I can imagine that our gambler had several spare transmitter chips to hand out to those he can depend on.

Stuff happens in a quick cutscene and we climb up many stairs to encounter another Nameless who has certainly seen better days. He sorta looks like that one white-haired dude on that new light cone that they showed briefly during the 2.2 livestream. And since it isn’t much of a spoiler anymore considering the official HSR yt channel already put out a video on it.. yeah, harmony hat.

Pfftt there’s something so funny to me about hearing Himeko call that fierce monster who has already “killed” several people a mere pet. Show no fear mother!

I absolutely LOVE that this man canonically can’t swear! They can switch all the words they want but I know exactly what Boothill wishes to say and it is hilarious. This quirk alone makes me want to pull for him.

My memory isn’t the greatest, but this shot made it so clear for me to remember that the Forgotten Hall mirror is a sort of Garden of Recollection thing, so having Black Swan appear from it was simply perfect.

The girlies working together once again, oh my~

After the things you personally witnessed sweetie, I’m glad you think so. Gotta love strong women!

Whose?? The only relics that come to mind are the Ashblazing Grand Duke set which I’m fairly certain isn’t what Acheron is referring to. I only thought of it due to the memes about how she killed him and turned him into said relics.

There’s another cutscenes with Acheron and that old dude we heard last patch, but I don’t remember much aside from him reminiscing about his companions once being Galaxy Rangers and more chatter about Nihility. This scene however, with Sunday looking all handsome and holy.. OH BOY. He’s gorgeous with the light shinning on him like that. I feel blessed to have witnessed such beauty.

I never thought of him to actually listen to people’s sins, but it suits him rather well. Doesn’t seem like most people recognize him doing so either? Aside from this one pepeshi of course.. either that, or everyone clearly respects Sunday too much while this person could care less on how to act around him. I was gonna make fun of the merchant for having such trivial sins, but if you’re living a life where that’s all you have to worry about, then sign me up.

The confession isn’t all fun and games though as some disbelief about the Family is brought up. Yet another reason for me not to completely trust this holy hot handsome man yet. Looking forward to continuing more later tonight.

[kamuro-junrenka]

Last week i finally played the best substory in dead souls and i literally think about it every day

[starshard17]

Hello! I saw you reblog a post about wanting more tumblr asks from me so here I am sending you one!

Im not part of the trolls fandom but i really like seeing it on my dash because of you, so what are your favorite trolls ships :0?

AAAAH OKAY OKAY

Putting everything under read more cause this gonna take a bit

Starting with the main ship of course we have Broppy! The two main characters of the franchise, Branch and Poppy 🩵🩷

These two are a classic. I don't know any trolls fan who doesn't ship them. Their story is followed throughout each of the movies and the holiday specials and it is so beautiful watching their growth with each other. What I love about the show is that it focuses more on the friendship aspect of Branch and Poppy as opposed to the romance which is covered in the movies

Next ship I'd like to talk about is Breek 🩵💜 Branch and Creek

Now if you know nothing about trolls, Creek isn't exactly a good guy. Yes he was a villain in the first movie but! In the first show, Trolls the Beat goes on, he's seen to be at least a little better as he tries to integrate back into Troll society.

This is Creek when he first tries to reenter the village. He looks Bad. I want to point out that his colors are fading here! This was a main plot point of the first movie. When trolls are sad, depressed even, they start to lose their color!

Branch knows the feeling very well, I'm sure you know the classic meme "because _____ killed my grandma!" Yea Branch's grandma dying is what caused him to lose color 😔 and he's been without color for YEARS

So naturally the thought process is that Branch understands Creek and what he's going through. So ignoring how the beginning of that episode actually plays out, I like to think that Branch actually spends a lot of time with Creek getting him used to being back in the village and helps him get his colors back 💜

Moving on from that, if we look at Branch and Creek's actual relationship throughout the show even though they're shown to not like each other at all they spend a ton of time together!! There's even an episode that showcases all the times they fight with each other, often times alone! Which leaves us to question why they're alone together in the first place?

In that episode they also get their hair tied together by Poppy, leading them to look as though they've become the best friends in the world and acting like the queerest trolls on the planet I swear 😭

They even almost got "married" in this ep. Yea.

Last Breek point I'd like to point out is in a later episode when Creek makes an excuse as to why he didn't provide the fondue for a fondue party

Before Creek arrives to the party everyone's trying to figure why Creek isn't there which leads to this amazing scene where Branch perfectly imitates what Creek is going to say as the start of his excuse for not providing for the party

And yes while very funny is just goes to show how well Branch knows Creek like. Okay Branch I see you 🤨

So while they are painted to hate each other, they do know each other very well! Like better than you'd think. And they spend a surprising amount time together. Honestly Branch puts so much of himself into hating Creek it's almost like an obsession, and it's the same with Creek annoying Branch

Like if you didn't like Branch would you be this touchy with him? I don't think so Creek. Also the only times Creek ever sings in the show is when it's about Branch. And they have a very gay song together 💜🩵

Next ship! My friend has very kindly dubbed this rarepair Glitter Dads 😌🩵💛

This ship is Guy Diamond and Sky Toronto

Where do I even start with them?

My friend and I were watching the show together and started shipping these two as a joke before we got onto the episode showcased in the above screenshot where Poppy attempts to "friend match" them

The friend matching ends up not going well and they get in this big fight even singing a song battle (killer song btw)

Poppy breaks up the fight, admits to what she was doing and the two of them start to walk away before being like "we did make excellent music together-"

And they end up singing a softer, sweeter version of their duet and just like that they become friends all on their own without Poppy's pushing

This of course leads to the intricate analyzation of their characters and what it would be like if they got together XD

Guy Diamond is Glitter Troll of the Year, most famous glitter troll in all of Troll village. He's the life of the party, attends just about every party in town and always makes himself the center of attention

Meanwhile Sky Toronto is the owner of the party factory. He makes every party supply in town, runs his fun business every day with minimal rest time. The queen herself said Sky Toronto has the hardest most important job in Troll village. Even more important than her being queen!

Put that together and you've got the most popular power couple in all of troll village

I will avoid going into more details because I will be stuck ranting about them forever but I would like to point out that Guy Diamond does eventually become a dad, so it is fun imagining what Sky would be like as a fellow dad with Guy to their son Tiny Diamond

Next ship I like is Bappy, Barb and Poppy 🩷❤️

I don't have a lot to say about them other than I think they'd be cute and nothing wrong with some lesbian troll <33

Which this leads me to Breekappy, which is the ship of Branch, Creek, Poppy and Barb

Although I don't see them all as being romantic with each other 🤔 I see it as Branch and Creek being romantic, Poppy and Barb being romantic, and Poppy and Branch being romantic while the remaining pairs are all platonic

Onto some ships I don't have much to say about

Bridget and Gristle, the two bergens who fall in love in the first movie and are married by the third 🩷💚

Clay and Viva, co-owners of the putt putt golf trolls area. I think they're super cute, maybe more platonic than romantic but hey 💚💛

Bruce and Brandy. They're married with 13 kids, kinda feels like a given that you should ship them but also they're just so cute with each other, how could I not 🧡💜

Veneer and Floyd. This one is more platonic. I just think it'd be sweet if after Veneer had his mini redemption arc if he and Floyd were able to become friends after 🩷💚

Satin and Ripley. They were shown interacting in one episode of the show but they were really sweet and I would've enjoyed seeing more of them 🩷💙

Smidge and Milton. In the show Smidge was paired with the gentle critternarian Milton Moss. They are the sweetest couple I have ever seen and I really wish their relationship was explored more because they are just the cutest! 🩷💛

If there are any more I have I can't think of them now, but thank you for asking!

Sorry I got a little carried away, I just love trolls XP

[jazzstarrlight]

My Playable Characters Shipping List

So many characters in genshin impact, so taking screenshots of a wiki character list, I edited them together to make a shipping chart! You're welcome to use it how ever you want

_______________________________________

My Top 10 In Order:

1. Itto x Gorou -

The first Genshin Ship in my collection and still number one. Itto is always the first to fall in my ship and THE definition of golden retriever energy. When Gorou begins to notice his attention on him more often, he gets flustered and slowly falls for him back. Precious wholesome warriors, making a great team and greater lovers.

2. Cyno x Tighnari -

2nd place mostly cause of canon team-up and fanart. Also been debating on which one I'd be good at cosplaying if only I had the money (leaning toward Cyno.) Cyno is the first to fall and even while Tighnari cringes at his jokes, we all know he gives that clear "you're lucky I love you" face. I dream of a relationship like theirs.

3. Kaveh x Alhaitam -

Saw it once or twice on my Twitter feed until it turned into nothing but Kavetham and Cynari, and I eventually began to obsess. Alhaitham surprisingly falls first but can't express it properly, like a neurodivergent with alexithymia. Kaveh slowly shifts his thoughts of Alhaitham from "can't believe I put up with that guy"  to "can't believe I'm in love with that guy". I think the autistic introvert -&- depressed extrovert angle may make for some interestingly dramatic angst. Good angst is fun to write. Plus, I'm on the spectrum and I can confirm that reading emotions (even our own) is either hard or near impossible.

4. Ayaka x Lumine -

The traveler I went with in my game is Lumine and I fell for Ayaka hard when we hung out at a festival before Lumine is made an enemy of the shogunate. Clearly, in the game, Ayaka falls in love first; but I also made an OC named Yuna Ren who fell for Ayaka as a child. I know it's cringe but... It's Ayaka-chan! I can admit I'm a bit of a simp for her.

5. Bennett x Razor -

When I found out they were friends, it was cool, but I saw something more building. Razor falls first, though doesn't understand it. Bennett enjoys having a more permanent team member and grows closer every day. They're super cute little twinks.

6. Ningguang x Beidou -

Two boss girls both dom energy however with good communication it works. Also whenever I feel like I ship too many dudes, I look at hot-I mean-pretty girls with chemistry. (Honestly, I'm surprised with how many mlm ships I have.) Ningquang falls first and... I may have an idea for an erotica oneshot. Stay tuned.

7. Xiao x Aether -

Mainly cause of fanart and if Lumine has Ayaka, the twin bro deserves a lil something special too. Xiao falls first. I mean- c'mon. That guy shows up within a second of calling his name like a genie.

8. Albedo x Sucrose -

Such a sweet and gentle intelligent pair. Sucrose falls for Albedo, and I can see Sucrose being his personal art model. If it was possible, I'd most likely cosplay as albedo (since him and HatGuy are the closest things I find to canon enby's in the game and not much a fan of the wanderer except his skill.)

9. Kazuha x Heizou -

Heizou's voicelines about Kazuha are really intresting. He obviously falls first and makes complex plans to hang out with him. They look very cute together.

10. Zingqui x Chongyun -

Sometimes when 2 characters just stand side-to-side in canon and if you see enough fanart, that's enough to ship two characters. Xingqiu falls first for the exorcist. I also think the combos of blue between the two is pretty nice.

[welcomingdisaster]

2, 3, 7?

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom i did 2 over here! but now since i've done two characters who i think don't bottom often, i'll do two characters that i don't think top often. again this is with the disclaimer that i tend to prefer switchy dynamics for all my ships. sooo. turgon is such a control freak in life that i think he might enjoy just laying back and getting taken care of in the bedroom (god knows he won't let this happen anywhere else). i think he'd feel a "duty" to perform at first, but if you put him with a partner that likes to make all the decisions he'd be so very relieved to fall into that dynamic in the bedroom. also for whatever reason i think finrod and amarie are this:

don't ask me why it's just vibes

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

okay big disclaimer on this that everyone has different takes and what makes me very annoyed has a right to exist in fandom. no hate intended towards the takes and people i mention, should they somehow see this. that said i AM choosing violence tonight

i see a lot of takes i dislike but only one. has made me so mad that i immediately left my house and walked five miles out of sheer frustration. and it was this, as far as i recall, their logic: "sauron killed celebrimbor before celebrimbor gave him the information he was really looking for (location of the three rings). sauron is the master of torture, and this was kind of a pretty big torture fuck-up. thus, sauron was not at his best when torturing celebrimbor, and killed him too rashly out of anger. this is later backed up by the way he treated his body. thus, celebrimbor must have done something particularly heinous to sauron. in fact, it was celebrimbor taking advantage of sauron all along. this means that feanor must have seen maiar serving in aule's forges and decided maiar were some kind of servant class, which led to celebrimbor inheriting those beliefs and being creepybadevil at sauron when they worked together" i don't think i need to dissect this take to explain how much it pissed me off. but i WILL say i am genuinely impressed with this user for managing to victim blame the victim of a crucifixion.

also i would like to say that sauron is such a cringefail loser (affectionate?) that we should be surprised about him fucking up torture. guy got beaten by a big dog & also made the mistake of killing finrod before learning anything important from him

again no hate to the user. people have drastically different takes & headcanons and favorites but god. that one got me. it really did get me.

honorable mentions go to:

that one theory i saw that someone managed to blame almost exclusively women (indis, nerdanel, and yavanna) for the conflict of the silmarils

the person who said child!fingolfin should have been a better brother if he wanted feanor to like him. this one loses "bad take" points for being the funniest fucking thing i've ever read

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

hmmm i actually think i've mostly gone the other way around? i think i mostly tend to like characters more than i did coming into fandom. that being said i weirdly don't like erestor. something about him idk

i also used to like sauron a lot more than i do now. now i'm very sauron-cautious. some of the coolest fanart and fanfic in fandom involves him and i don't wanna dismiss that, i definitely enjoy reading about him, but for some reason he's the character the MOST likely to make me click out of a fic if he feels "off" to me

[invinciblerodent]

if you haven't already.... you should post that oc info for arvid 👀

Yay, an excuse, thank you! :D (Long ramblings under the cut!) (excuse the darkness of the screenshot, my laptop is currently angry with photoshop)

Arvid Trygg

Full Name: As above! Fun fact- "trygg" comes from the Old Norse "tryggr", and essentially means "faithful". It's my headcanon for the name children raised in the church get in that area if they don't have a last name of their own- a bit like the "John Snow" of Faerun. (His mom only told the monks to name him Arvid, but left no other information about herself or her desires for him, and was gone by the next morning. So for all intents and purposes, his full name is essentially "Bother Arvid", which as a warrior priest is what he was casually referred to as the most.)

Gender and Sexuality: Short answer, bisexual man. Long answer, if only he knew enough to figure it out. As of right now, he's... mostly confused? Because while he's fairly sure he's a man, having literally lived the past 35 years as a holy man, he didn't much think of sexuality in any context. He may have had some mild crushes here and there, but didn't really think further about any of them. Nowadays he's slowly realizing that actually, not only does his dick work (surprise of all surprises), he also doesn't much care about gender as much as personality, and is very attracted to earnestness and gentleness in people, even more if they don't try to hide it. (It's a lot of "baby's first attempts at flirting" with him.)

Pronouns: Most comfortable with he/him, but sees no reason to be bothered by they/them either. The beard mostly deters people from attempting she/her, so I don't think he has any feelings about that.

Ethnicity/Species: He was raised as- and thinks of himself as a gold dwarf, but technically, his dad was a duergar. His mother lived in a very conservative area and was very young when she had him, so she broke off any relationship with the father when she learned she was pregnant, and hid the pregnancy from everyone. She went to the nearest monastery to give birth, and when she saw the (then much more pronounced) blue hue of her son, she decided that the best thing she can do for him is to leave him there to be raised by the monks. That way he gets a roof that her father would deny them, a life away from people in the village pointing fingers at him, and she gets her life back. (Arvid doesn't blame her for any of this. He thinks it was unfortunate because he would have liked to know his parents, but it was nevertheless the right decision to make. His skin's greyish-blue has since faded into this slightly bluish, pale color.) (He blushes purple, you guys. Purple. So cute.)

Birthplace and Birthdate: About 1460 DR, in a Tempuran monastery near a small dwarven village in the Western Heartlands (quite a ways South from Baldur's Gate), making him roughly 35 at the events of the game.

Guilty Pleasures: I think even though he's not experienced with it, he just loves reading about romance. You know there's that unauthorized copy of that bawdy play ("A Pleasurable Deal") we can find in a certain area of the game? Yeah, he saved that book, AND the leaflet that's an interview with the author. That was the first piece of explicitly smutty literature he's ever had access to, and... yeah. While he doesn't announce that he likes romance, he definitely keeps the enjoyment of smut buried deep in the bottom of his pack.

Phobias: So far, I don't think he has any notable ones. I mean, he's definitely got a healthy aversion from a bunch of things and isn't the biggest fan of gross monsters, but few are. I've yet to find out his biggest fear, but so far I'm toying with something like... that dawning horror that you did something irreversible and irredeemably horrible out of misinformation? Though I don't know how to phrase that in a concise manner.

What They Would Be Famous For: This one remains to be seen, I'll update it once I'm actually done with the game lol.

What They Would Get Arrested For: Definitely trespassing. Maybe breaking and entering. Probably heard someone in distress and immediately went to them, the dingus.

OC You Ship Them With:

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: (these don't really apply I think)

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: After a lifetime of little besides holy texts, he's kind of a fan of anything that's... not that. But definitely a romantic at heart, and if they ever "accidentally" pick up a romance novel, it mysteriously evades the trash-pile for a few days at least.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: I'm gonna say it's the "it was all a dream, and not in the vision- or astral projection-way". He always prefers honesty and straightforwardness, it's always a bummer when he realizes someone wasn't entirely truthful about something. (He doesn't realize that often.)

Talents and/or Powers: Well, he's a rather talented soldier and cleric, but I'd say a talent specifically is how he can leverage that aura if necessary. Mechanically, he has proficiency in intimidation, but hardly ever uses it- I headcanon that he doesn't really like using threats to get his way and prefers to be nice and persuasive instead, but has this... way, of shifting his weight and voice that makes him seem like someone not to be trifled with. (Only uses it when the Vibes on he encounter are already Fetid.) He's also got a lot of domestic skills, from helping out around he monastery from a very young age. Remarkably good at peeling potatoes and chopping onions. Crochets cute scarves in the evenings. (He's... not SUPER great at that one, a long rectangle is about what he can make, but it's a really sweet gesture, they're warm, and they do look pretty darn cute.)

Why Someone Might Love Them: He's a very gentle soul that's very non-judgemental, and curious about everything- especially other people's faiths. To him, as long as you believe in something wholeheartedly and are willing to fight for it, it's an honorable belief, and an honorable fight. That's why he doesn't judge Shadowheart for her Shar-worship, why he understands Lae'zel's devotion to Vlaakith, why he was willing to try the ritual for Loviatar, and, yeah, why he feels for Gale so deeply on the whole Mystra-issue. (And, because he's definitely very much into Gale, just in general.)

Why Someone Might Hate Them: I feel like that honor is a double-edged sword in this way, in that because of it, he has a way of setting expectations very high for others, and feeling undue disappointment when they fall short of the expectations he imposed on them. As in, he's, on a deep level, very annoyed with Gale for just accepting that he's gonna have to blow up, because Arvid thinks of that as Gale having rolled over and just given up. One of the worst things one can do in Arvid's eyes is giving up without a fight. (Things were kind of tense between them for a few days after meeting Elminster. After the fussy attention Arvid showers everyone in as their healer, I think Gale definitely felt the slight chill in the air there.)

How They Change: It's still a bit in progress, but I think he'll grow to accept that there's a bit more to the world than fully right and fully wrong, even within the same action, and the same paradigm. The way he handled the githyanki egg is definitely a sign of that change- he balked at the request first, it seemed unthinkable that it could in any way be better for a young gith to be raised outside of their community, but... yeah, wiping out a crèche (leaving nobody left to take care of it) and finding a note that the egg was going to be destroyed changed his perspective on things. At small hours when he can't sleep, he still thinks about what's gonna happen to that githyanki (and when he handed it over, he did look at the others and say "I hope we're all in agreement that we're not going to tell Lae'zel about this.", which is... not a lie that leaves a good taste in his mouth.)

Why You Love Them: I mean, he's a good li'l upstanding lawful good cleric boy who thinks letting a vampire bite him is the same as providing healthcare, and makes his companions cute accessories to keep them nice and cozy. He's the dwarf dad(dy?) we all need, with a fantasy fanny pack full of fruit snacks. (Really, he does carry almost all their rations on the road. So technically, he does pass out the snacks. I imagine a short rest is pretty much a snack break.)

His mustache curving up like that also gives him a permanent little smile, which I think is adorable.