#i only ever have time to draw hwat i want and like
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Heyyy just wondering if you do art trades? If not that’s totally ok! I just looooove your art so much especially how you draw Wesker hehe
Yeah I don’t usually do them but if any of you guys really want to then I’m totally down lol
#im usually super busy so#i only ever have time to draw hwat i want and like#however i do love interacting w u guys and the community#so yeah!!! of course itd just take some time lol#id love to im so flattered heeheheh#fengshuispeaks#literally all i want in return is just jordsker fghsghhgh
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LATE BUT!!!! WADDLE WEDNESDAY LETS GOOOO ft bandee because i love him sososoososososo much
guess HWAT I have so many headcanons for this kiddo:
he/they bandee all the wayyy
bandee is really good friends with whispy woods, they’ll hang out with whispy at least once a week to just chill and talk, and whispy gives bandee a bucket full of apples in return
he has small hair floof!!! waddle dees are fluffy creatures and poor kid has a terrible cowlick that they have to take care of (or just slap a bandana on)
one day. they will lose it. one day bandee will snap and decide it's time to stop being nice. that day draws closer every day.
him and sailor dee are siblings!! they have a rivalry over who has the cooler job, is the better assistant, etc
abble juicew
out of him, kirby, and dedede, bandee is the one who speaks spanish most fluently (kirby actually understands it pretty well but won't shut up about chicken, and dedede can't pronounce for shit). he picked some of it up from meta knight during RTDL and mk agreed to keep teaching him
bandee and meta knight are really close and every friday, meta knight takes them out to kawaski's and trains him with his spear; bandee thinks mk is the coolest fucking person ever
bandee loves art and drawing but only does anime-style
they used to be on deviantart with adeleine in 2014
bandee's got so many nicknames (mainly from kirby): bandana, b-dee, ban-ban, dana, andy, benny, bandan, BW dee, b-man, etc. he responds to anything that vaguely resembles his name (most of the time he gets it right)
dedede taught him how to play chess, and he is getting better. very slowly, but better nonetheless. soon, bandee will be able to defeat dedede. one day.....
i want to give bandee a big smooch on the forehead and squeeze him like a stressball
#bandee#bandana dee#bandana waddle dee#waddle dee#waddle wednesday#....but one day late#sailor dee#sailor waddle dee#meta knight#whispy woods#my art :00#kirby#kirby series
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thank u 2 @briatores for tagging me in this 😋
1: are you named after anyone? naur.... but i do share a name w a really popular singer like. phonetically
2: when was the last time you cried? yesterday, i was watching never have i ever's last season. devi was talking abt her dad in her college essay so that made me tear up dkjhfsjhk. i wish dads were real
3: do you have kids? oscar piastri
4: do you use sarcasm a lot? idk man perhaps. you would have to ask my irl friends for this one bc i for one have no clue abt hwat is going on ever
5: what sports do you play/have you played? i used to be really good at anything w aim in hs so basketball, archery, baseball, etc.. sometimes ill indulge in a lil cricket but i only like fielding. i hate doing the run of shame to the other wicket
6. what's the first thing you notice about other people? how they interact w other people..... i feel like i can draw a lot of conclusions from this alone
7: scary movies or happy endings? scary movies
8: any special talents? i sing in crowds sometimes.... other than that idk. i type really fast mayhaps
9: where were you born? india (:
10: what are your hobbies? singing, playing arnd on photoshop, baking, music & taking photos of cats anywhere i see them
11: do you have any pets? NO :/
12: how tall are you? i think im like 5'2.5 or 5'3.... me being short is the reason i am the way i am btw
13: fave subject in school? math & german. i love it when things have straightforward answers fr
14: dream job? being rich without having to work for it <3 but for real like. idk. i really wanted to pursue archery professionally so id say being an archer would b my dream job
15: eye colour? this mb
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Madara and Obito... In SPACE
So the preface to this mess: I don’t know jackshit about Star Wars, so a lot of this went through friends who do know Star Wars (the primary of which does not have a tumblr).
(I have watched Episodes 7&8, and Rogue One. Of the first six movies, I remember watching maybe an hour total. I have not seen more than snatches of Clone Wars. Beyond that, nothing but fic.)
Anyway! Let’s go:
As y’all probably know by now, my favorite form of crossover is what I call “intrusive,” so... I'm enjoying the mental concept of "dump Madara on Coruscant and watch him go." (Prequels, probably.)
Does Madara know what's going on? No. Can he understand a word that's being said? No! Is he going to fight the first person to aim a weapon at him, and every person after that? Yes.
Is Madara fighting fit?
Nnnnnnnnnnnnnno, not really, he’s old as balls. This is "I was on cave life support but I'm getting back up to kick ass out of pure spite" Madara.
[Image description: A screenshot of a panel of the Naruto Manga. Uchiha Madara is old and visibly ‘decrepit,’ with spiky white hair and an amorphous black robe. He is sitting on a pale throne, and there is a scythe visible to the side. He has a speech bubble saying “I am... a ghost of the Uchiha.” End Description]
Two wrinkly old guys, staring each other down: There ain't enough room in this universe for the two of us. [Palpatine and Madara start fighting to the death]
Congrats, Palpatine! Your ass is getting kicked by a geriatric malcontent who doesn't speak any language you've ever heard or feel like literally anything in the Force. You may have Sith lightning, but do you have decades of frontline experiences and over half a century of cave-dwelling bitterness?
Both of them, simultaneously, in completely different languages: Get off my lawn, whipper-snapper.
Palpatine: Behold my mastery of the Dark Side, Foolish old man! Palpatine: [shoots lightning] Madara: Oh hey, you're like the seventeenth most dangerous person who can shoot lightning I've fought. Telekinesis? Fought that. Combat precognition? Fought that, have that, and let me tell you hwat, it doesn't help if you're opponent is just that much faster than you.
Now, I’ll take a step back and acknowledge that several people advised me that Palpatine would stand a chance against Madara, likely even win, if Madara just got hacked off of his life support and is down to one eye.
But. I want a shitpost, and also to clown on Palpatine, so Madara wins easily.
Madara also deserves to be clowned on, but the entire situation is clowning on him because he’s not in his cave anymore, and he really wants to go back to his Gedou Mazou statue.
Maybe Madara and Palpatine go Old Man Fight and then Obito just pulls a Ninja Move and kills Palpatine that way. Madara was ranting and Obito just. Ninjas behind Palpatine and slits his throat like “okay, you’re obviously evil so like... bye.”
(I just love causing "Wait what" reactions in characters that are used to having total control. Like. Have you read "Unexpected Guests"? The Bleach fic? Everything that happens in Hueco Mundo and after. That energy. I want that energy.)
Madara waves his scythe around like a cane. Obito just trails after like “Gramps, no” because it’s still pre-Sanbi, so he’s Mostly Innocent (you know, on the scale of how fucked up Obito is as a person), and just wants Madara to like. Stop.
Palpatine dies but nobody's sure what to charge Madara with since he did kind of expose a Sith? And Palpatine attacked first for [handwave] reasons?
Jedi: Well sir, in lieu of charging you with assassination of the emperor, we have decided to ask you politely to return to the elderly person's retirement home from whence you came. Please leave immediately. You are frightening the senate. Madara: [incomprehensible raving] Jedi: Yes yes, very interesting. Jedi, whispering: Does anyone know his caretaker???
Obito looks increasingly put-upon as events progress. You need Obito there to... well, not translate. Nobody can translate. But to at least poke Madara into being Slightly Less Homicidal.
Anakin seems sad about his friend dying and being evil so Obito challenges him to a spar. Madara and Obito get pulled into the Jedi Temple to help train Padawans? My first thought was "they wouldn't trust someone so obviously Weird, Crazy, and Incomprehensible around the younglings" and my second thought was "well they let Yoda do it and he's all those things so I mean? YEAH."
What if they put Madara in the bacta tank and he just freshened up like a daisy because of hand-wave Hashirama cell reasons (Blame Sir Tiddyface).
From “Decrepit and Reliant on Cave Tube Life Support” to “Will Call Down Meteors With Ease”
How many eyes does he have? Whatever’s funniest. Let’s say one Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan and one Rinnegan, for maximum chaos.
Would "half my body is missing" Obito freak out if Bacta regrew his eye? Can bacta regrow something like that? When characters lose limbs they usually just get cybernetic replacements, but the person I spoke with said that apparently they saw somewhere that that kind of thing can grow back it just takes a really long time.
I want to imagine bacta would help Obito with the Zetsu integration.
Anyway! Yes. Have Madara help train people despite being... Madara about it. You know... kind of a dick.
(I’d put example gifs but I don’t feel up to it. Y’all know what Madara’s “weakness disgusts me” ass is like.)
Obito had to get his "these fools could never make me sweat" sass from somewhere, after all.
Do you think Obito could fight the baby Jedi that are around his age while recovering? I have no idea what their skill level is at fourteen, but I want to imagine Obito sparring the Padawans.
Obito + Zetsu + Bacta = he still needs physical therapy but he can spar again!
Madara is delighted to have a baby ninja to bully. He's too old to not bully baby ninjas, and Obito is the only baby ninja. TBH Madara just makes Obito his assistant teacher.
Obito: What are we even doing here and how do we get home? Madara: I'm still working on that. Obito: But I want to go home and see Rin and Kakashi! Madara, who was like two days away from triggering the Sanbi plan: I'm working on it.
Something sticking in my mind rn is Ahsoka&Obito, since Obito is still Baby.
I think Obito would be excited to have someone his age that thought he was Cool and Talented for being able to do Chakra Things instead of writing him off as "the dead-last." Like, Rin is friends with him, but she doesn't look up to him as someone more/differently talented. He'd be excited to get to be "The Mysterious Cool Big Bro" for once.
I feel I also just like the idea of Anakin not knowing what to do with someone Several Years Younger that is also. Ninja Skill.
Miscellaneous thoughts:
Madara is a grouchy old man even AFTER he gets effectively de-aged via bacta dunk, for the record. He's back in his prime and the Jedi have no idea how. They're all concerned about tiddyface*. (When are people not concerned about Sir Tiddyface, really.) The mokuton is a problem.
*Sir Tiddyface is that random Hashirama face that Madara had growing out of his pecs for like... convoluted bullshit reasons.
(Madara doesn't have mokuton, but he has enough Hashirama cells that it interacted very, VERY weirdly with the bacta.)
Obito spends the intervening weeks trying to learn the local language. He's very eager. Not particularly fast. Still doing it though!
I want Obito juggling kunai as physical therapy while he's waiting for Mads to get out of the bacta tank and just gains himself the adoration of a gaggle of small baby Jedi children.
Madara comes out of the bacta tank looking like he did in his prime (which I mentioned earlier but whatever), and it absolutely incites a yelling match of an argument that draws way too much attention.
Someone tries to teach Obito how to access the Force, just to see what happens. He almost turns into a statue because the philosophy behind Force meditation is only a few steps away from Sage Mode Meditation.
Anyway, Madara smacks him with a stick like Fukasaku to make sure Obito doesn't turn into stone.
Madara grumps about the lack of paper and brushes and ink. Bitches about it until someone hits up an antique store or something to get them for him. The day before he and Obito are dispatched on a mission with someone, probably Anakin for plot reasons, Madara very publicly seals things into a scroll and then tells them that no, they can't learn it, because the Force isn't chakra so fuuinjutsu won't work for them, so There.
Obito practices some Teen Rebellion (tm) and like, tries to teach the Padawan friends he's made how to do Chakra Things... but he's so bad at explaining things that nobody can get it to work even if it were possible.
In Obito's defense, language barriers. Not in Obito's defense, he's just really bad at words sometimes.
#Star Wars#Star Wars Prequels#Naruto#Uchiha Madara#Uchiha Obito#crossovers#Phoenix Posts#body horror mention
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my annotations for chappy 11 of ysijwa
this is just for drea and leyla to read so if you're not drea or leyla pls keep scrolling :)
ok this is pretty chaotic and like i said earlier i treated this ike a wattpad comment section so... have fun ig :)
SHERLOCK AND WATSON CINEMATIC UNIVERSE SHUT UPPPPP I LOVE YOU SM DREA
NOT MISS SNAP CRACKLE POP
jealous y/n you say???
now i know why you ignored all my tiktok asks lmao
HELPLESS OH MY GOD
truly madly deeply intended :)
damn he's kind of a narcissist yk? like "I have to be serious my entire family depends on it" shut up mr darcy you're not special
devout in his religion hmmmmmm hopefully we see some more religious trauma content bc me too vampy
awww he wants kids but now he cant have them bc hes... dead :(
AWWW his sister taught him to knit :( if he doesn't knit bloodbag a sweater i swear to god
stuffy moron is correct
"IT'S A FUCKING WONDER HE EVER GOT LAID" OIJRIOJWEIOJIEWOJFIOEJOF
"THE ATROCITY THAT IS BEING ACQUAINTED WITH NIALL AND HIS HORRIBLE AFFINITY FOR CHEAP FLANEL" ORJFOIJFEIOWJ YOURE SUCH A POET
he's so dumb she was with him bc he's hot that much should be obvious to him🙄
FOOLISHLY HOPELESSLY UNMEASURABLY IN LOVE HWAT THE FUCK DREA IM SAD
i love that he remembers the spinal cord dislocation and the dead leaves . like yea im dead rn but the leaves in my hair are really what's bothering me the most
what the fuck is a maw
ok i looked it up i get it now
"attachment is for gullible idiots" yup and youre one of them vampy 😌
"the warmest skin his icy fingers had ever had the good fortune to touch" im so soft rn
oh so now she has "a wholesome beauty about her nature" ? i thought she was just cute enough 🤨
HE THINKS HER SMILE COULD RESTART HIS HEART THATS SO CUTE IM OUHOIJFOEWIJFIOEWJ
"the responsibility of keeping her safe, satisfied, and happy" how 🥺 🥺🥺
"as long as he breathes" i thought he didn't breathe lmao BUT I GET THE SENTIMENT
"always when it comes to her" IM SCREAMING RN THIS IS SO SOFT I CANT
ill never forgive him for being so dense either his brain is basically a rock
HE WANTED TO COMMUNICATE THAT HE BELONGED TO HER IM GONNA HAVE A STROKE
couldnt be me i dont want to be percieved
HE ADDED A FUCKING BUTTERFLY AFTER THE DISCO BALLS IM OIWFJIOEWJFIOEJIOEWNOJIWJ(*H(WUIOFJIOEWJFIOWHVIFUEH)U)($UT
HEY a hamilton obsession is not childish😤
'the only person who was allowed to touch him there was y/n' he's like a little kid who's possessive omggggggg
oh this reminds me i rlly hope everything in that chest was new and had never been used on anyone else owijfowiejfioewj
oh please my irish king can control himself let y/n meet the other vamps🙄
"if they knew all along why did it take so long" yk im wondering the same thing dummy
"every day was a battle to earn her love and affection" wtffff how could she hurt him like that he is just a baby
i think he needs therapy tbh
yes he does deserve to be treated with respect and dignity😤
"supporting and tolerating them despite your differences" exactly unless they're a republican
IM SORRY THAT WAS MEAN OIWFJOIWJFEIOw i said what i said tho
they did everything backwards but it's what baby needed🥺
im literally gonna 🔪 bradley how dare he hurt my favorite ribeye like that
PROPER BOYFRIEND-GIRLFRIEND BONDING PLSSSSS im sure he makes sure to say stuff like "as your boyfriend' or 'since youre my girlfriend' all the time now
"everything that has to do with harry has always and will always make her feel safe and secure" ...who's gonna tell her👀
HE BECOMES CLINGY IVE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE TURN IT UP
awwww my love language is also quality times bestiesssssss
(this is more serious you might want to change the words to nose kisses or something because esk*mo is a slur)
HE wants to be wrapped in HER arms and get forehead kissies like a little baby🥺🥺
i can tell you wrote this chappy bc leyla would never write about ice cream
IF CHRIST CAN GET A DATE MARKER SO CAN HARRY OIFJOEIWJFIOEWJFWI PLSSSSSSSSSS I LOVE HIM
ALWAYS FOR HER WEJFIOJWEIOFJEWIOFJOIEWJFOIEWJF HES SO IN LOOOOOVE
HE DID IT AND IM SO PROUD OF HIM🥺
omg i have a thot imagine if she got a heart murmur or something and obvi he knows bc he can hear it so now he has to find a way to make her get it checked out out without being suspicious 😭
HE ROCKS HER TO CALM HER DOWN WHEN SHES HAVING NIGHTMARES IJFEOWIJFOIWEFJ
“nearly blinds himself for eternity” what a drama queen i love him
maybe learn how to turn your brightness down grandpa
“can women sense emotional distress” why is this so funny oiewfjwieojfioewj
DEHUMANIZING OWEIJOIAJAKLFSDJLKSDJFKLD
not a psychotic episode 😭😭
crippling mommy issues woejfkljdklsjsdf me too king
awwwww he made her a full buffet i would cry
matchy socks im gonna sob
king is a chef 😌
y/n’s head @ harry’s clavicle rn: 💥
“his plush chest” drea its ok you can say titties
“absolutely flawless”? are you sure shes not just cute enough 🤨
he got her oat milk 🥺the sign of true love
hes such a shithead i love him
SPELLING HIS NAM E ON HER TUMMY IM HAVING ANOTHER STROKE
“I DIDNT WANT TO LEAVE YOU ALL ALONE” HES SO WOIFJSJFSDKJKLSDJF
HE DIDNT HAVE TO DO NIALL LIKE THAT 😭😭
RAPUNZEL HAIR OSIDJSKJKLSJF
she traces a tiny heart on him wtfffffffffff im sad
this… is hot
“theres no room on the counter” owifjlksjfslkfjklsj
HE WOULD WALK THROUGH FIRE FOR HER maybe then he’d be a little less cold
im sorry that was wrong of me lisjfskldjfwoiejewiojrei
OH MY GOD OWEIJFKLJSKLFJL SHES SO BOLD “can’t i?” OSIJFKSLJLKJF
oh boy hes gonna kill her
I WONDERED WHEN THE YOURE HOT WHEN YOURE MEAN THING WAS GOING TO COME UP
literally shut the fuck up mr english major
do it bestie kick him in the balls
SPARE BOOBIES MAAM I CNAT BELIEVE YOU aCTUALLY WROTE THAT OWIFEJWIJEKLJFOIEWHOEWIFEHFLKEWJFKLEWJKLJFL
IM WHITE IM ALLERGIC TO SPICE WEJFLKJFKLEJFLKJSKLJKFSJD
“character development at its finest” what a self aware king
y/n stop being mean to him baby just wants to feel close ☹️
“I’m anemic” ok king whatever u say
“ME AND MY CHRONIC ILLNESS IM SENSITIVE” IJFKLSDJFKLJSDKLJ
ahhhhhhh it’s yoga time
“just ask your cervix” jlksdjflksdjflkdsjflk
“if only you knew” ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️
yeah y/n isnt like those other girls 🤪 shes different 🤪
yes bestie objectify him
THERE IT IS MY FAVORITE LINE IN THIS ENTRIE BOOK
PERHAPS MY FAVORITE LINE IN ANY BOOK EVER
“He hasn't been this stiff since rigor mortis”
i think about this on a daily basis i truly do
grey shorts? what a slut
“call the lapd im pressing charges” me after walking up the stairs
OH SO THIS IS WHERE THE GREYS ANATOMY CHARACTERS FROM THE SPOILERS WITHOUT CONTEXT COME IN
him using his shirt as a towel im BARKING
“I wasnt jealous” yea ok 😃
AGAIN HIM DRAWING HIS INITIALS ON HER SKIN THATS SO WOIJFSKLDJFLSJ
yeah harold she just wanted a little kiss 😤
yeah 😃 its bc he ran track 😃
no bc thats so fucking cute that she pretended she had never seen the show before bc he was excited to introduce her to it 🥺
I would do the same tbh i feel like it would be fun to wash dishes with harry idk why
“that skank” oisjksldfjklsjfklsdjflkd
YOUR THICK SKULL COULD DAMAGE THE MARBLE LSKFJKLDSJKFLSDJFKLSJFKLSJKLSJLDKFJLSKDJF I WOULD CRY
he gets her a cup of water 🥺
ok but like wouldn't she want to wash her hair after it got all sweaty at yoga
awwwww she got his toothbrush ready for him why am i so soft rn
memory foam mattresses sound nice but actually they kind of suck bc you sink down and feel trapped in them 😃
HE WATCHED THE TIKTOK SHE SENT HIM IM HAVING A THIRD STROKE
niall is probably on the dumbest side of tiktok idek what side but it’s probably annoying and he thinks it’s hilarious
noooo baby youre not a monster🥺 someone give him a hug rn
well actually you are kind of a monster but its ok we still love u bestie
I too run on caffeine and pizza pockets 😌
TONSIL HOCKEY WHAT THE FUCK OIEJFLSDKJFKLSDJFLSJLKFJSDKLFJ
chatsnap hes such an old man 😭
true lmao if you dont have social media i immediately dont trust you
not the i just washed my hands tiktok 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
HE FEELS STRANGELY PERCIEVED RN KJFLSJFLKSDJ IDK WHY THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME BUT IM LIKE LEGIT LAUGHING
DO IT BESTIE BITE HIM CHOMP CHOMP
“my eyes are stinging” hes such a baby 😭
“MY SIGH”TS ALL FUZZY” SJFKDSLJFLKDSJFLKDSJFLK
“are you all right” “I dont know :(’ i cant handle this my face hurts from smiling lksjflkjafklj
he has a kitchenaid stand mixer omg thats so sexy
ok but has anyone ever gotten salmonella from raw cookie dough bc i think thats just a myth
fuck u for that one vampy
wow he could never deal with my chronically ill ass
WAIT IS IT WAP
NOPE ITS BETTER LSDFJSDKLFJDS
I agree body is absolutely an instrumental masterpiece
I KNEW HE KNOWS SOME TIKTOK DANCES I KNEW IT
“I know youre kinda into that (getting smacked in the face)” SHUT UPPPPPPP SKJFSKDLJFDS
NOT HIM TWERKING SLKFJSDKLFJDSKLFJDSKL
YES YN GET THAT VIDEO AND BLACKMAIL HIM
“I think i popped something” ok old man 😭
why is the word wench so funny lkfjslkfjdslkfjsdlkfj
dont hand it over i want to see him snap
OH SHIT HE JUST JUMPED THE TABLE LSDFJSDKLFJLKDNMNXCMNJKHOIUIOEUR
oooooooooooo
OH MY GOD AGAIN SHE REALLY IS BOLD SLKDFJDSKLFJLSKDJFLKJFS
not guerrilla warfare 😭😭😭😭
do it bestie give him a concussion he deserves it
“no piece of art could ever compare to her” 🥺🥺
“remember that time you told me making out was childish” “no” i hate him 😭
THERE IT IS AGAIN “sex isnt the only way he can feel close to someone anymore” SHUT THE FUCK UP IM SOBBING
this reminds me of the dehydrated intercourse with demonrry
“don’t care, relationships are about sharing’ hes so sdjfksldjfklsjf
DO IT BESTIE KICK HIS KNEECAPS IN
suing disney for false advertisement 😭
THIS SCENE IS KILLING ME LKJFKLSJFLDSJ “just pucker your lips over it” “You have actual brain damage, dont you?” DREA I LOVE YOU KSDJFLDSKJFLKSDJ
how do those bubbles taste babe
ok drea wtf i was so happy and now this??????
“everything’s wrong” NO SHUT UP SHUT UP ITS HAPPY HOURS
not the boob privileges 😭
WAIT THIS IS FROM THE BSE MV ISNT IT “dance is just so hot rn” “depressing shades are just so hot rn”
NOT HIM GETTING ALL STUTTERY WHEN HE ASKS HER IF SHE WANTS A DRAWER 🥺
NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN THIS GENTLE WITH HIM BEFORE WTFFFFFFFF IM CRYING
“youre so fucking cute, my baby” me when i see literally any picture of him
JELLO HAS a STRONGER BACKBONE THAN THIS KSFJSDKLFJDSKLFJ
“betrayed. objectified. taken advantage of. used. “ i hate him sm 😭😭
OH MY GOD IS SHE GONNA SHAVE HIS FACE THATS SO CUTE IM
SHE ISsSSSSS IM SQUEALING
stop him worrying she’ll think it's weird and wont want to do it 🥺
“bold of you to assume id ever be convicted” PLS DREA LAKFJDKSLFJ
“the more you talk, the more appealing manslaughter sounds” I CHOKED DLSKFJDSKLFJDKSJFDSKLJ
HIM WHISTLING TO GET HER ATTENTION WHY IS THAT SO CUTE
Im sorry but its really funny to me how you wrote the sentence “wrong metal, he thinks ironically” … get it ? like IRONically lkfjdslkfj im sorry i’ll show myself out
“this boy?” what a fucking cutie i want to kick him
I forgot what a bop helpless is thanks for reminding me im gonna go listen to the entire soundtrack again-
theyre so fucking cute i hate them
so yea bascally this is the best thing ive ever read and i love you so much and my face hurts from smiling :)))
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Everybody Needs A Nervy B Now And Then
or
Bitch In A Uniform
On the verge of turning 18, grown-up-to-be James sets his sights on the new girl at school, “gorgeous sex-god” Lily, bass player for the Stiff Dylans. Unfortunately Lily appears to already be dating James’ evil archrival: the greasy and bitter Snape. With his ridiculously named cat Sir Jeremy and his band of brothers, the Ace Gang, by his side, James sets his mad schemes in motion to nab a snogtastic girlfriend and have the best birthday party ever.
it’s here !!!! its here despite my computer shitting itself and drawing a total blank on a title and not being able to leave it alone its HERE we MADE IT
my eternal love to @alrightevans and also @alrightpotter @prongsyouignoramus and @gxldentrio
AO3
James Potter to Ace Gang: cnt believe u wankers fucking abandoned me
Remus Lupin: james we were RIGHT THERE
James Potter: NOT DRESSED AS HORS D’OEVRES
Sirius Black: it’s spelled hors d’oeuvres
James Potter: i think you’ll find its spelled ‘betrayal’
James Potter: why did you all bail???????????????
Peter Pettigrew: Mum wouldn’t let me go as a cocktail sausage, seeing as she’s veggo and all
Sirius Black: jam you KNO yellow washes me out idk what you were thinking trying to make me be a cheese and pineapple stick
Remus Lupin: i’ll square idk how the fuck i was supposed to be a vol-au-vent
James Potter changed the group name to Betrayal Gang.
Sirius Black changed James Potter’s nickname to olive boi.
-
Sirius Black to James Potter: u should have been at mine 2 minutes ago
Sirius Black: wher r u
James Potter: coming
James Potter: was talking to mum and dad abt my party
Sirius Black: howd it go
James Potter: :///////:
Sirius Black: double ended :/
James Potter: yeah.
-
Sirius Black to Ace Gang: just saw snape on the way to bio. god hes so wet up close
James Potter: wearer of the wettest haircut known to humanity thy name is snape
Peter Pettigrew: Omg i kno i saw it this morning like imagine turning up for the first day like that
James Potter: youd think hed have least timed his yearly bath to coincide with the start of school
Remus Lupin: you guys shouldn’t be so mean about him
Remus Lupin: im just kidding can you imagine
-
James Potter to petition for dumbledore to make a rule about school bathing regulations: lupin we all saw u go off with that bird at break
James Potter: whats the 411 lil mama
James Potter: whats the hot goss
Remus Lupin: nothing, she’s the new exchange student i was showing her around
Sirius Black: sure
James Potter: that hickey under your collar get there by itself did it
Remus Lupin: we’re not talking about this
Peter Pettigrew: Guys shut up i have English and McG is giving me the worst look
-
Sirius Black to now taking bets for how long it takes sirius to get a detention off mcgonagall: where have you and the swedish girl got to on the snogging scale???
Remus Lupin: shes danish
Remus Lupin: and what the fuck is the snogging scale
James Potter: me and siri invented it
James Potter: 1) holding hands 2) arm around 3) good-night kiss 4) kiss lasting over three minutes without a breath 5) open mouth kissing 6) tongues 7) upper body fondling—outdoors 8) upper body fondling—indoors (in bed) 9) below waist activity 10) the full monty
Remus Lupin: why am i friends with either of you
Sirius Black: we were thirteen
James Potter: oh so suddenly now that you’re 18 you’re too COOL for the snogging scale????????
Peter Pettigrew: CAN YOU STOP HAVING IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS WHILE IM IN CLASS WITH MCGONAGALL
Sirius Black: o i thought this was the chat without peter
Peter Pettigrew: Fuck off
-
Peter Pettigrew to Remus Lupin: You don’t really have a chat without me do you ?????
Peter Pettigrew: ??????????????????
Peter Pettigrew: Remus
-
James Potter to Ace Gang: NEW GIRL ALERT
Peter Pettigrew: Yeah, we’ve already seen her. You were there when we walked in on lupin in that EXTREMELY compromising position
Remus Lupin: if you don’t drop it im leaving the chat
James Potter: NOT HER
James Potter: ANOTHER ONE
James Potter: SHES FRIENDS WITH ALICE THE LAUGH
James Potter: SHES THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
Sirius Black: you walked in on remus doing HWAT
Remus Lupin has left the chat.
James Potter has added Remus Lupin to the chat.
James Potter: THIS IS IMPORTANT
James Potter: WE NEED A PLAN
James Potter: HOW DO I GET HER TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ME
Peter Pettigrew: Maybe say hello to her
James Potter: WHAT
Remus Lupin: pete don’t be ridiculous. james would NEVER do something that easy and straightforward
James Potter: i am having a CRISIS here
Sirius Black: please tell me what you walked in on remus doing with the danish girl
Remus Lupin has left the chat.
James Potter added Remus Lupin to the chat.
James Potter: everyone is on intel until further notice
Peter Pettigrew: Yeah okay
Remus Lupin: alright
Sirius Black changed the group name to Lupin’s Nonspecific But Indisputable Lovers’ Tryst With Eddie Redmayne.
Remus Lupin has left the chat.
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Remus Lupin to Ace Gang and don’t you dare change it sirius black: her name’s Lily Evans
Remus Lupin: Marlene McKinnon says she just moved here from Derby
James Potter: omg remus i could kiss you
Remus Lupin: Mar also said her family’s opened an organic shop on high st
Sirius Black: how nutritious
James Potter: no one asked you
-
James Potter to Sirius Black: what categories have you come up with for the physical attractiveness test
Sirius Black: skin hair eyes nose figure mouth teeth
Sirius Black: all out of ten
James Potter: fab ill do up a table in word now and go to the library first thing at break to print us 4 copies
Sirius Black: marvy
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James Potter to sirius no one is going to dare you to hack into the school and play gasolina over the loudspeaker at assembly on monday so stop angling for it: which of you fuckers gave me a 3 for my eyes
Sirius Black: it was purely based on their functionality
Sirius Black: you can barely see without ur glasses
Sirius Black: very poor eyes
James Potter: so it wasn’t abt how i look
Sirius Black: i didn’t say that
James Potter: sirius uve rly hurt me
James Potter: what about the 4 for my mouth
Sirius Black: that one was bc you ordered pineapple on the pizza
James Potter: i told u it was an ACCIDENT
Remus Lupin: im retrospectively docking 2 points off every single category for both of you
Peter Pettigrew: Im docking 3
-
Remus Lupin to Ace Gang: have to ditch saturday afternoon lads
Sirius Black: um why
Peter Pettigrew: Yeah whats more important than season six of the simpsons
Remus Lupin: i got a job
Sirius Black: where
Remus Lupin: Evans’ Organic Trade
James Potter: YOU GOT A JOB IN EVANS’ SHOP AND YOU DIDNT THINK TO TELL ME
Remus Lupin: im literally telling you right now dickhead
Remus Lupin: also it’s time travel
Sirius Black: it is NOT time travel it is CLEARLY an alternate universe you dithering FOOL
Peter Pettigrew: You’re both wrong its a time loop
James Potter changed the group name to donnie darko is BANNED from the group discourse.
Peter Pettigrew: Just because YOU thought it was a dream
-
Sirius Black to Friends Of James Potter Support Group: OMG
Sirius Black: PETTIGREW I CANT BELIEVE UR MISSING THIS
Peter Pettigrew: Whats happening tell meeee
Sirius Black: we just went into lupins shop
Sirius Black: evans wasn’t even here
Sirius Black: she just came out with a cup of tea for lupin and james ACTUALLY screamed,,,,,,,,,,,, evans almost dropped the mug
Sirius Black: lupin just introduced us and shes given him this look like “they better not be loitering” so hes selling me onions so she doesn’t kick us out
Sirius Black: lupin i dont want these and i shant pay for them
Sirius Black: evans is trying to talk to prongs but hes just giving her heart eyes
Sirius Black: she just asked if hes in her french class and he SQUEAKED
Sirius Black: day 13. james has still not spoken a word of english to evans
Sirius Black: day 27. hes said “mfngggg” instead of yes the stupid git
Peter Pettigrew: Fucking hell im still in this stupid mother son bonding thing for another half hour
Sirius Black: MOTHER SON BONDING
Sirius Black: siri set a reminder to mock peter later
Sirius Black: lupin just took the tea and evans has revealed shes in a BAND
Sirius Black: prongs has found his voice (!) and hes making the aziz ansari :D face which, unfortunately, makes him look like a total prat
Peter Pettigrew: Rookie error
Sirius Black: she just told him they’re called the stiff dylans and he just nodded really seriously and said “great name” im going to knock him out if only to stop him embarrassing himself further the stupid git
Sirius Black: fun facts about lily evans: she plays bass and she thinks james has brain damage probably
Sirius Black: JAMES JUST INADVERTENTLY TOLD HER SHE HAS REALLY BIG HANDS AND SHE WAS DEADASS LIKE
Sirius Black: “……………………okay”
Peter Pettigrew: BIG HANDS
Sirius Black: HER CAT just came out and prongs has jumped on the opportunity my boy he did it he managed to steer his way onto a topic he knows something about
Sirius Black: more fun facts about lily evans: her cat is called elizabeth bennet and she thinks james has brain damage definitely
Sirius Black: evans laughed at “we just call him sir jeremy but his real name is sir jeremy cattington the third, prince of purrsia and king under the meowntain” thank god
Sirius Black: he told her about how he used to take sir jeremy on walks by the beach but he ate his collar and his lead why is he like this
Sirius Black: prongs my man you sound like an eharmony profile gone wrong
Sirius Black: she mentioned hr sister,,,,,,,,,,,petunia
Sirius Black: the evans parents had a thing for matching names me and evans have so much in common
Sirius Black: FLEAMONT JUST WALKED IN PETE I CANT BELIEVE U ARENT HERE I SWEAR TO GOD YOU COULD NOT WRITE THIS
Peter Pettigrew: Noooo omg
Sirius Black: monty: “james????? what are you doing here? you hate vegetbles”
Sirius Black: james: “haha dad you’re so funny but of course i LOVE vegetables as we all know”
Sirius Black: monty: “james. the last time your mother tried to serve you broccoli you threatened to run away from home”
Sirius Black: james: “haha i was a picky kid, wasn’t i”
Sirius Black: monty deadass just looked right at evans and said “james that was wednesday” that man is my Hero
Sirius Black: lupin literally ducked behind the counter so prongs couldn’t see him laughing the lucky git prongs is glaring daggers at me
Sirius Black: evans is giving him the WORST pitying look omg poor jam he looks like he did when chelsea lost the final last year
Sirius Black: evans is gone holy shit i cant believe u missed this pete
Peter Pettigrew: :(
-
James Potter to Sirius Black: how am i ever going to be able to face her again ??????
James Potter: i love my dad but he can be so beyond the valley of the thick sometimes
Sirius Black: he wasnt that bad
Sirius Black: i dont think evans even took any notice
James Potter: are u SURE my dad hasnt ruined it ????
Sirius Black: j
Sirius Black: it was reaaaally fab
James Potter: fabbity fab?
Sirius Black: with knobs on.
Sirius Black: besides im sure evans will understand
Sirius Black: all parents say stupid things sometimes
Sirius Black: shell probably like u more bc shell feel bad uve got a dad who’s BEYOND bonkerdom
James Potter: you’re right
Sirius Black: i kno :~)
James Potter: i love you but don’t ever send me that face again
-
Peter Pettigrew to James Potter: I can’t believe you told evans she has big hands
James Potter: you werent even THERE
-
Remus Lupin to Ace Gang :~): anyone seen black
James Potter: hes in detention
Remus Lupin: what for this time
James Potter: handing out onions at assembly
Peter Pettigrew: The onions from sunday??
Sirius Black: no peter, a completely different set of onions
Peter Pettigrew changed the group name to Sirius stop being mean to me.
-
James Potter to everyone be meaner than usual to peter: what the fuck is evans doing with snivellus
Sirius Black: wot
Peter Pettigrew: We just walked past them and it looked Really Bad
Peter Pettigrew: She was holding his hand
James Potter: what the FUCK has he got going on that i dont
James Potter: this is fucking ridiculous. snape. who the fuck does he think he is
Remus Lupin: ill see what i can find out at work on monday
-
James Potter to Peter Pettigrew: is it weird to like evans’ band on fb if we’re not friends
Peter Pettigrew: Just fucking add her dude
-
Sirius Black to James Potter: look ive been doing some thinking and if u rly want 2 impress evans ur gonna have 2 up ur snogging game
James Potter: what the fuck
Sirius Black: dont argue im the best judge of this
Sirius Black: ur like. ok at kissing but i feel like u could b better
Sirius Black: there’s a kid on andy’s block who does snogging lessons after school his name is frank and hes a 7 maybe 7 and a half if u don’t wear ur glasses
James Potter: what is wrong with u
Sirius Black: u say that like ur not gonna look into it
James Potter: fuck off
-
Peter Pettigrew to the queen does NOT wear a 44DD: Hes just gone in
Peter Pettigrew: Cant believe neither of you came you missed OUT
Remus Lupin: what happened
Peter Pettigrew: He knocked on the door and this bloke came out and like. Objectively and all but he is Fit™
Peter Pettigrew: And he looked prongs up and down and was like
Peter Pettigrew: "I dont usually do boys but christ if you dont look like the saddest git ive ever seen"
Peter Pettigrew: I gave him a thumbs up on the way in
Remus Lupin: cant believe i missed it
Sirius Black: how did u get the tm thing like that
Peter Pettigrew: Copy it and save it as a keyboard shortcut
Sirius Black: ™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™
Peter Pettigrew: Stop
Sirius Black: no™
Remus Lupin: what have you done
-
Sirius Black to James Potter: so its like THAT is it ??????????? my kissing not good enough for you ?????????
James Potter: babe
James Potter: ur my first kiss ull always hold a special spot in my heart
Sirius Black: i need time
James Potter: YOU’RE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME ABOUT LONGBOTTOM IN THE FIRST PLACE YOU TWIT
-
James Potter, Snogging Sensation to i, sirius black, am giving james potter the cold shoulder: he put on careless whisper
Sirius Black: WHAT
Sirius Black changed to group name to i, sirius black, am now only giving james potter the lukewarm shoulder.
James Potter, Snogging Sensation: and hes from saliva CITY hes got nothing on u babe i promise
Sirius Black changed the group name to in light of new information, james potter and i, sirius black, have reconciled.
Remus Lupin changed the group name to Ace Gang.
Sirius Black: buzzkill
-
James Potter to gasolina is a Bad Song: mum’s got a promotion???????
Remus Lupin: tell her congrats
James Potter: it’s back in india though??????????????
Remus Lupin: oh
Sirius Black: you’re not moving are you
James Potter: i honestly don’t know
James Potter: im freaking out
James Potter: come round please
Peter Pettigrew: Holy shit
Peter Pettigrew: Ill pick everyone up
James Potter: they’re ruining my life and they still won’t let me have a party
-
James Potter to Rip in pieces james’ life in england: i have a plan
Remus Lupin: here we go
James Potter changed the group name to don’t message me in that tone of voice lupin.
Sirius Black: whats the plan
James Potter: evans likes cats. i like cats. i have a cat. and if that cat got lost i would be distraught. and if evans knew how upset i was shed help me find him.
Sirius Black: but sir jeremy isnt lost
James Potter: evans doesnt know that OBVIOUSLY
James Potter: honestly sirius sometimes i think youre half boy half turnip
Remus Lupin: jesus christ
James Potter changed the group name to im warning you lupin.
James Potter: i “””lose””” sir jeremy but you lot have him at the park then when u see us coming u let him loose and evans will chase him down and shell feel like a hero and shell get so caught up in the euphoria of the moment that shell kiss me and realise that we’re perfect for each other
Remus Lupin: ur insane
James Potter removed Remus Lupin from the chat.
Peter Pettigrew: You GUYS you KNOW im in english right now
Sirius Black: ffs peter just turn your phone on do not disturb when ur in mcg’s class
Peter Pettigrew: But i always forget to turn it back
-
James Potter to Sirius Black: i went round her shop but she said she was too busy helping her mum
Sirius Black: rip™
-
Lily Evans has sent you a friend request. Accept / Decline
-
Lily Evans to James Potter: begged off work. kno id be devo if i lost lizzy. wher r u?
James Potter: the beach
Lily Evans: be there asap x
-
James Potter to Sirius Black: plans back on
Sirius Black: oh okay
Sirius Black: small prob™ sir jeremy actually got loose
James Potter: she ended her message with an x
James Potter: does this mean she likes me
James Potter: wait WHAT
-
James Potter to Lily Evans: thanks so much for your help on sunday
Lily Evans: it was my pleasure. even if your cat IS mental.
James Potter: im telling him you said that
Lily Evans: noooooooooo
James Potter: so
Lily Evans: ominous.
James Potter: are you glad you moved to eastbourne?
Lily Evans: i guess. it's pretty chill
Lily Evans: have u always lived here?
James Potter: yeah
James Potter: its called gods waiting room
James Potter: because people come here to die
Lily Evans: ur being dramatic.
Lily Evans: i heard eastbournes the new brighton.
James Potter: yeah
James Potter: as if
Lily Evans: idk i like it here. its more peaceful than derby and the beach is soo good for ~song writing inspo~
James Potter: what do you write ur songs abt ?
Lily Evans: idk. life
Lily Evans: the universe
Lily Evans: how reality tv’s brainwashing us
James Potter: wow
Lily Evans: ikr
James Potter: careful, you’re starting to sound like my dad
Lily Evans: i dont mind so much, your dad’s pretty cool.
James Potter: ????
Lily Evans: he comes into the shop a lot.
James Potter: oh my god
James Potter: promise you wont take anything he says about me seriously
Lily Evans: no problem aha
James Potter: what about your dad? does he work in the shop too?
Lily Evans: no, he’s :/
Lily Evans: he died.
James Potter: oh. im so sorry, lily.
Lily Evans: its okay. its why my mum moved us out here and opened up the shop.
Lily Evans: she always wanted one
Lily Evans: eastbourne is such a step back from derby and i like it because it means me and petunia can keep an eye on her you know?
James Potter: i think i understand why you like it here
-
James Potter to evans showed prongs her O face: mum and dad are fighting about india again
Remus Lupin: fuck
Sirius Black: ):
Peter Pettigrew: )):
Sirius Black: stop trying to one up me, pettigrew
-
Frank Longbottom has sent you a friend request. Accept / Decline
-
James Potter to longbottom has the hots for prongs: mum’s just left
James Potter: so thats that then
Peter Pettigrew: Drinks at mine?
James Potter: yeah
-
James Potter to Remus Lupin: will you mention how shit snape is and how good i am when ur on shift with evans today
Remus Lupin: no you sad git i will not
James Potter: remus i LOVE her
James Potter: ill buy you a twix from the vending machine
Remus Lupin: alright
-
Sirius Black changed the group name to twix are grim.
Remus Lupin changed the group name to twix are grim but not as grim as curly wurlys.
Sirius Black: you’ve really hurt me, lupin
Remus Lupin: good.
-
James Potter to Remus Lupin: ???????????
James Potter: ur off shift now did you talk abt me ???????
Remus Lupin: no
Remus Lupin: and i already ate the twix so dont ask for it back
-
Peter Pettigrew to evans thinks snape is a clingy sod #confirmed: Watch out prongs
James Potter: for what
Remus Lupin: for that, i assume
Sirius Black: im in lunch detention what happened
Remus Lupin: longbottom’s making a come on at james
Sirius Black: McYikes
Remus Lupin: “why havent you accepted my friend request?” – longbottom
Remus Lupin: “because were not friends” – james
Sirius Black: james ur gonna get urself decked one day
Sirius Black: so can u stop being a little shit when im not around to watch thanks
James Potter: no promises
-
Remus Lupin to twin peaks season 3 fan theories club: sirius can you link me to that compilation video of diego luna saying he wants to touch jabba the hut
Remus Lupin: i want to show it to lily at work this afternoon
Sirius Black: ya sure
Sirius Black: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGKrc3A6HHM
Remus Lupin: if i follow that link and it isnt to the video i asked for im not going to be your partner for the history assignment
Sirius Black: ………………..
Sirius Black: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDU3PojzaHk
Remus Lupin: thank you
Peter Pettigrew changed the group name to Gasolina is banned from the group playlist.
-
James Potter to Gasolina (INCLUDING all derivative remixes reimaginings and covers) is banned from the group playlist: EVANS LIKES STAR WARS
James Potter: ???!?!?!?!??!!!!!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?
Remus Lupin: james that was three hours ago get with the times
James Potter: but i was at P R A C T I C E
Sirius Black: too bad so sad
-
Remus Lupin to Peter Pettigrew: WHOA
Peter Pettigrew: U watching from chem window?????
Remus Lupin: ya what just happened??????????????????
Peter Pettigrew: Snape tripped up james on the way to goal
Remus Lupin: is he ok??????
Peter Pettigrew: Hes got a bloody nose but hes okay
Remus Lupin: i meant snape
Peter Pettigrew: O na
Peter Pettigrew: I think james is gonna murder him lol
-
Sirius Black to marauding fools quote unquote minnie mcgonagall: mary mcdonald in the year below is having a party tomorrow night n i charmed her into giving us all invites
Sirius Black: well, she invited ME and i guess u lads can come as my collective date
Remus Lupin: im already invited
James Potter: me too
Peter Pettigrew: She invited me three weeks ago
Sirius Black: i got invited after PETTIGREW ????????? who the fuck
Sirius Black: Im Not Going™
Remus Lupin: yes u are
Peter Pettigrew: Yes u are
James Potter: yes u are
Sirius Black: Yes I Am™
-
Peter Pettigrew to Ace Gang: Why did you tell her i lost a SOCK ??????
Remus Lupin changed the group name to kickstarter to find peter’s missing third sock.
James Potter: i had to say SOMETHING
Remus Lupin: james, ever ridiculous under pressure
James Potter: besides, YOU’RE the one who pushed us behind a bush as if she would have thought it was weird that we at SCHOOL
Peter Pettigrew: I panicked
Peter Pettigrew: Lily said she thought snape tripping you was a dick move though
James Potter: trying to distract me by mentioning evans, huh???
Peter Pettigrew: Is it working
James Potter: i wish i could say no
Remus Lupin: id like to point out lily also said you should go up for the school team
Remus Lupin: so she clearly doesn’t care enough about you to know that you’re already. captain
Sirius Black: lupin stop being a flaky bitch
Sirius Black: thats my job
-
Peter Pettigrew to pres at james’ because its closest to mary’s NOT because its in any way a superior house to any other house accessible 2 the group: Did i just hear ur dad call u a minger
James Potter: if u have 2 ask u already kno the answer
Sirius Black: In Fleamont We Trust™
-
Sirius Black to party boiis: PRONGS IS THAT YOU OUTSIDE WITH FRANK LONGBOTTOM
James Potter: he fucking ambushed me
James Potter: evans didn’t see did she ?????????????????????????
Peter Pettigrew: Nah dont think so
Sirius Black: hes lying she absolutely did
James Potter: fuck this im going home
-
Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: i swear to god if you’re the one who just put on gasolina im blocking you
Sirius Black: (:
Remus Lupin: we arent friends
-
Remus Lupin to James Potter: me and lily are going to the pool this afternoon
Remus Lupin: 2:30pm
Remus Lupin: in case you wanted to coincidentally turn up
James Potter: what so i can aggravate her by drowning snape?
Remus Lupin: snape isnt coming
James Potter: oh. why not?
Remus Lupin: probably afraid of water
James Potter: explains why he never washes
Remus Lupin: lmao
-
James Potter to Sirius Black: me and moony are going to the pool and you’re coming
Sirius Black: as in the public pool????????
James Potter: obvi
Sirius Black: excusez-moi, c’est très grotesque
Sirius Black: im NOT going to the public pool little kids pee in that and the chlorine makes my hair go all frizzy
James Potter: i cant believe you’re abandoning me, your best friend, in his time of greatest need
Sirius Black: and you say IM dramatic
-
Remus Lupin to Ace Gang: what happened after we left yesterday???????
James Potter: idk it was weird
James Potter: we did handstands and she made fun of my pale legs ): then she tried to drown me but in like a ~playful~ way
James Potter: and i told her im not with frank longbottom in any capacity and she said “well that’s good then”
James Potter: and then she kissed me
Sirius Black: SHE KISSED YOU
Sirius Black changed the group name to EVANS KISSED JAMES EVANS KISSED JAMES EVANS KISSED JAMES EVANS ! KISSED ! JAMES !.
Remus Lupin: get in !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peter Pettigrew: Result omg
James Potter: but then she said she had to go sort some stuff out and that she’d text me
Remus Lupin: oh, james
-
James Potter to Sirius Black: evans should text soon then that’s sorted and we should step up the party plans
James Potter: we’ve got so much left to sort
James Potter: venue, fashion statements, colour scheme
Sirius Black: you should do black and white
James Potter: ! marvy
-
James Potter to Remus Lupin: what does it mean when a girl kisses you and says she’ll text you does it mean she’ll /text you or does it mean she’ll message you on facebook
James Potter: because there’s a big difference
James Potter: remus ???????????????????????????
Remus Lupin: james its 4 in the morning
James Potter: so???????? ur awake arent u ???????????????? what does it mean ??????
James Potter: remus uve kissed the most girls u have to know
James Potter: remus
James Potter: remus please
-
Frank Longbottom has sent you a friend request. Accept / Decline
-
James Potter to Sirius Black: i need a drink
Sirius Black: what happened????
Sirius Black: im omw btw
James Potter: mum called and she wants me and dad to move out to india with her
James Potter: dad doesnt want to go but he also doesnt want to be away from mum any more im freaking out siri i might actually move back to india what the fuck
James Potter: and on top of that longbottom showed up at my house and tried to apologise how did he even get my address
Sirius Black: im here come open the door
-
Alice theLaugh to James Potter: is it tru that ur gay?
James Potter: idk i dont reckon
Alice theLaugh: didnt think u were, lily said u werent
James Potter: really? what did she say ???????????
Alice theLaugh: just that she knows 4 sure u arent
Alice theLaugh: are u going to the stiff dylans gig saturday?
James Potter: not sure yet
-
James Potter to Sirius Black: she kissed me and then left me on read at 3:45
Sirius Black: aw :/
James Potter: shut the fuck up
James Potter: she didn’t even tell me abt her gig in brighton
-
James Potter to james’ wet dream about evans: sirius i cannot believe you told my father about lily evans
Sirius Black: thats not fair
Sirius Black: u kno monty has an uncanny ability to get info out of me
Sirius Black changed James Potter’s nickname to the naff boy who had the sad party that no one went to.
the naff boy who had the sad party that no one went to: stop taking advantage of my vulnerability !
-
Remus Lupin to Everyone sign up for hindi on duolingo out of solidarity to james: watch out lads james has his plan face on
Remus Lupin: brace for impact
Peter Pettigrew: Oh geez
James Potter: fuck off then lupin i wont tell u then
James Potter removed Remus Lupin from the chat.
James Potter: now that we’re alone
James Potter: im gonna make evans jealous
Peter Pettigrew: Im afraid to ask how
James Potter: im going with alice the laugh to the stiff dylans gig
Sirius Black: christ james that’s pretty shitty
Sirius Black: that was lupin
Sirius Black: i say first, what could possibly go wrong
Sirius Black: second, what the fuck is alice the laugh’s real last name
Sirius Black: ive known her for 6 years and i dont know what it is
-
Peter Pettigrew to Friends Of James Potter Support Group: Say aye if ur completely unsurprised to learn i just overheard james respond to alice the laugh telling him he looks good tonight with “thanks, you’re very honest”
Sirius Black: aye
Remus Lupin: aye
Peter Pettigrew: “Alice you make me laugh like a loon on loon tablets”
Sirius Black: #yikes
Sirius Black: i have the shot
Remus Lupin: take it
-
Alice theLaugh to James Potter: i had a great time tonight
James Potter: haha me too
Alice theLaugh: best night of my life x
James Potter: o.k. see you at school on monday
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Lily Evans to Sirius Black: so ur the one who put on gasolina at mary mcdonald’s party.
Sirius Black: what makes u say that ?
Lily Evans: you shouted “play gasolina” no less than 11 times last night.
Sirius Black: that doesnt sound like me
Sirius Black: are u sure it wasnt lupin ?
Sirius Black: that worldly bastard he sure does love puerto rican music
Lily Evans: i just texted him and he said “im surprised sirius even knows what puerto rico is”.
Sirius Black: fucker
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Sirius Black to James Potter: oi cheer up
Sirius Black: what are you thinking about?
James Potter: poor alice
James Potter: i keep seeing her face when she tried to kiss me
James Potter: god i feel like such an arse for leading her on
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James Potter to Alice theLaugh: you okay? you looked pretty upset in maths
Alice theLaugh: hope your plan worked
James Potter: what?
Alice theLaugh: marlene mckinnon overheard black telling lupin that you only went out with me to make lily jealous
Alice theLaugh: you’re a heartless user
Alice theLaugh: what you did, that’s just pants, that is
James Potter: i’m really sorry, alice
Alice theLaugh: i really thought you thought i was a laugh
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Sirius Black to James Potter: i told you im sorry
Sirius Black: are you really going to ignore me over this
Sirius Black: like for real james pull your head out of your arse for twenty seconds and realise how shitty you’re being
Sirius Black: all your scheming and pretending
Sirius Black: honestly it’s no wonder evans never fucking texted you
James Potter: don’t talk to me again.
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Lily Evans to James Potter: you’ve really pissed off a lot of people.
Lily Evans: alice is really cut up. she’s my mate, james.
James Potter: i didnt mean to use her.
James Potter: you never texted me when you said you would
Lily Evans: i handled it really badly, i know
Lily Evans: things got messy
Lily Evans: i didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
James Potter: so you were thinking of breaking up with snape and then you were gonna text me?
Lily Evans: lmao what
Lily Evans: severus and i aren’t together.
James Potter: but you hold his hand
Lily Evans: i hold marlene’s had too but that doesnt mean im dating her.
Lily Evans: you know how much he hates you and it makes it hard, james, but yeah, i was gonna text you.
Lily Evans: and then i saw you with alice at my gig and i was gutted.
Lily Evans: but that’s different now.
Lily Evans: i thought YOU were different than that james but you’re not, you’re just some fuck off rich kid who only thinks about himself.
Lily Evans: i think it’s probably best if you don’t message me again.
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James Potter to Remus Lupin: had a talk with lily. turns out shes not actually with snape.
Remus Lupin: i actually do not care, james. work things out with sirius or fuck off.
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James Potter to Peter Pettigrew: i think i might have just gotten my mum fired
Peter Pettigrew: Go on, i guess
James Potter: i went to her office and talked to her boss and i think i just made things worse
Peter Pettigrew: Yeah, you’re getting pretty good at that
James Potter: i guess i am, yeah.
James Potter: im cancelling the party and ive told dad i want to move to india
James Potter: if either of the others ask
Peter Pettigrew: I’ll pass it on.
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James Potter to Lily Evans: hi.
James Potter: i know you didn’t want me to message you again and i don’t blame you for that but i have to say this and then it’s done.
James Potter: what you said really hurt, but you were right. it wasnt me. it was beyond pants, and i really am sorry. i messed everything up with you, and with alice and with sirius and i guess i just got caught up in my own idea of how our lives should be and i got carried away
Lily Evans: i cut all ties with severus last night.
James Potter: oh.
Lily Evans: yeah.
Lily Evans: you know, i wrote a song about you.
James Potter: really?
Lily Evans: its called Bitch In A Uniform.
Lily Evans: i wrote it when i was pissed off with you.
Lily Evans: but i still like you, james. even though you’re mental.
James Potter: no you don’t
Lily Evans: i do.
Lily Evans: i cant stop thinking about you. i was hoping
Lily Evans: maybe
Lily Evans: we can go out?
James Potter: oh, fuck
Lily Evans: ?
James Potter: im moving to india
Lily Evans: what the fuck is wrong with you
Lily Evans: you’re so
Lily Evans: random
James Potter: 100% legit this time.
Lily Evans: that’s a goddamn shame.
Lily Evans: im at the beach if you wanted to come hang out.
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James Potter to Sirius Black: feels really shitty without you
James Potter: im so so sorry
James Potter: can you ever forgive me?
Sirius Black: ur gonna have to buy me at least 16 curly wurlys
James Potter: its done.
Sirius Black: happy birthday you massive tosser xxx
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joe to the jonas brothers: operation stun-the-pants-off-james-with-an-amazing-surprise-party is a go
joe changed the group name to Friends Of James Potter Support Group.
nick: oh thank GOD
kevin: I was wondering how long you’d hold out
nick: you’re both so stupid
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James Potter to prongs is finally legal ;): cant believe all you wankers are busy tonight
James Potter: like i know we were all in a fight but you ALL have plans ????????
James Potter: dad’s taken pity on me and is taking me to a club this is the saddest 18th ever
Remus Lupin: sry fam
Peter Pettigrew: Lol
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JAMES POTTER’S SUPER SECRET 18TH BIRTHDAY PARTY Private º Hosted by Sirius Black and 2 others.
312 going º 167 maybe 27 March 19:30 – 28 March 8:00
Details james is a prat but hes our best friend so lets all get together and show him that being legal to drink doesnt take away the fun of it !! event will have an open bar courtesy of mr & mrs p
theme is black and white !
only one rule : DONT TELL JAMES ABOUT IT anyone who does will be blacklisted from the party loool good luck telling your grandkids about how you didn’t get to come to the most important party of our generation
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Peter Pettigrew to Fleamont Potter: The eagle has landed i repeat the eagle has landed
Fleamont Potter: Thanks son :~) Jem’s going to be so excited to see his mum.
Fleamont Potter: We’re up on the balcony by the bar, send her our way :~)
Peter Pettigrew: Will do, sarge
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Lily Evans: happy birthday xxx hope you like ur present.
James Potter: my present?
James Potter: OH MY GOD
James Potter: YOU WROTE ME A SONG ?!?!?!
James Potter: lily evans i honestly think i love you
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Marlene McKinnon to Remus Lupin: we can’t hear properly from up the back what did snape just say
Remus Lupin: “james potter is a girl-nabbing letch who can’t keep his slutty minx hands off other peoples’ girlfriends”
Marlene McKinnon: WHAT
Remus Lupin: “you’re just a big fat minging minger with horridious eyesight and the opposite of a haircut”
Remus Lupin: don’t worry, black’s filming the whole thing im sure it’ll be on youtube asap
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Sirius Black to Ace Gang except all of us are legal™ now: id be lying if i said i remembered anything past monty and effy swing dancing
Remus Lupin: im fairly certain i walked in on frank longbottom and alice the laugh fucking in the mens
Remus Lupin: but i, too, am fuzzy on the details
Peter Pettigrew: I woke up at the lido. No idea how i got there
Remus Lupin: i just found this in my camera roll
Remus Lupin set a photo.
Peter Pettigrew: What the fuck
Remus Lupin: i have no memory of taking this and im glad of that fact because the camerawork here is shameful
James Potter: YOU’RE KIDDING
James Potter: YOU DON’T REMEMBER PETER FINDING A RAT IN THE BINS BEHIND THE CRICKET CLUB
James Potter: AND NAMING IT INIGO MONTOYA
James Potter: PETER YOU STILL HAD IT WHEN I LEFT YOU FOUR HOURS LATER
Peter Pettigrew: I mean that definitely sounds like me
James Potter changed Peter Pettigrew’s nickname to cryptid: ratboii.
cryptid: ratboii: Cheers
cryptid: ratboii: Where did you get to, anyway?
James Potter: me and evans went to the beach
Remus Lupin: cuuuuuute
Sirius Black: and you didnt invite ME
James Potter: sirius you were passed out by 11 o clock
Sirius Black: WHAT
James Potter: yeah, evans poured you a quadruple shot of jager after you played gasolina through your iphone six times in a row
Sirius Black: you convinced me to drink JAGER??????????!?!?!?!??!!!!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?
James Potter: i told you it was sambuca black and somehow that was okay with you
Sirius Black: wtf™
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James Potter added a life event. DIDN’T move to India 56 likes
James Potter commented: love reacts only pls
Peter Pettigrew commented: A N G E R Y R E A C T
James Potter replied to Peter Pettigrew’s comment: ???????
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Peter Pettigrew to James Potter: I did duolingo every day even though ur not actually moving and im not gonna let it go to waste
Peter Pettigrew: बकरी मेरी प्रेमिका है
James Potter: peter you know i. cant read hindi i can only speak it right
Peter Pettigrew: ):
James Potter: i showed mum and she laughed and said it was cute
Peter Pettigrew: (:
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Sirius Black shared a video to James Potter’s timeline: “Stiff Dylans performance interrupted by GREASY RACIST exclusive”
Lily Evans commented: tag urself im the girlfriend
Remus Lupin commented: im peter in the background trying to get out of the shot but sirius keeps moving so hes still in frame
Sirius Black commented: im prongs’s slutty minx hands
James Potter commented: im the look on snapes face when lily kisses me
Peter Pettigrew commented: Im james drawing attention to the fact he conned lily into kissing him because he thinks weve all somehow missed him telling us every two seconds for the last three days
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James Potter is in a relationship with Lily Evans. 346 likes
Peter Pettigrew commented: Love react
Sirius Black commented: jealous react
Remus Lupin commented: L O V E R E A C T
#jily#james potter#lily evans#jily*#harry potter#hp#fic#angus thongs au#angus thongs and perfect snogging#ataps#my writing
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lmao I’m not going to tag or add new questions because fuck rules, but thank you @peaceful-waldeinsamkeit for tagging me!
Rules: Answer the questions asked, then write 11 new ones. Tag 11 people to answer your questions, as well as the person who tagged you
1.) Kiss, Marry, Kill Three Of Your Favorite Characters: Kiss Lucifer from Ao No Exorcist because he’s a pretty boi, I can’t marry anyone because I don’t think anyone of them would want me for the rest of thier lives, and brutally murder the Joker
2.) Are You More Of A Math/Physics/Chemistry Or A Languages/Literature/Art Kind Of Person?: I’m an artist and I have published a book so I think that settles it, I also suck at math
3.) What’s The Scene In Your Favorite Show/Book/Fic That Always Makes You Emotional?: Mufasa’s death, the entire fanfic “All these Years” (don’t read it, it has all the triggers you can think of) and every family angst in any film or show
4.) What’s your opinion on aliens?: They exist, they are out there, and we should be very afraid
5.) Do you have any guilty pleasures?: ...yes
6.) Singing or Acting?: I can’t sing but I love to be dramatic
7.) Fave TV Trope?: If I know what you’re meaning then it would be how a villain would have a weak spot, to make you sympathize with them more, like a beloved person, and they would kill armies for this person
8.) Fluff or Angst?: I love fluff, but I always end up reading and writing angst
9.) Did You Have An Emo Phase And What Was Your Fave Band/Song?: I have phases every now and then, my whole life is built up on phases, fandoms and different times I was just obsessed with something. The only thing I can think of at the moment was when I was obsessed with MJ and my favourite song was Smooth Criminal
10.) Which And How Many Pets Would You Like To Have? V Important: I have one cat at the moment and I have had only cats in my life. BUT if I could choose I would have two cats, one dog, a hamster, three birds, and some kind of reptile, maybe not all at once but I want those pets
11.) Is There A Place Where You Live Where You Feel Safe And Content Just Being There/Your Favorite Part Of The Place Where You Live?: My room, honestly. My bed is where I am all the time. But I also love to sit on a rock besides the road, a few meters away from my aunt’s house. I use to read and draw there during the summer. She lives a walk away from me
12.) Opinion on Ghosts?: I believe in them when I’m scared, but sometimes I can say a few words to my mom as if she could hear me...
13.) Favorite Ship From Any Show?: Ummm I don’t actually have a OTP. There are ships which I think of just because they’re mainstream, like SoulxMaka or MakoxGamagori, but I think the one that I like because it’s kinda cute and could be canon is BardxThranduil. I also ship Illuminati mom and Lucifer
14.) One Character You Would Change And Why?: I would turn Shiro Fujimoto back to life because fUCK YOU
15.) Do You Wear Glasses?: yes, they’re round and dark
16.) One Award That You’ve Won And What Was It For?: I haven’t won anything like that, I’ve won a race and I’ve gotten gold with a team, but I have no award
17.) Do You Get Stage Fright?: I get nervous, but if I’m prepared to speak then I’m okay
18.) What’s Your Best Friend Like?: Awkward, sweet, and german
19.) Do You Have A Good Luck Charm?: I would say that I’m a bad luck bearer because bad things happens to people I know, but never to me
20.) What’s Your Aesthetic?: Green apples, nutella, milk, old books, either greasy or electric hair, the remains of an eraser, the blow of a computer, a violin out of tune
21.) Do You Own Plushies/Soft Toys?: I own lot of them, I still sleep with a stuffed sheep with a christmas hat, his name is Little Lamb
22.) What Was Your Favorite Book As A Child? There were this series of books that learned the alphabet, I really loved the book of R
23.) Opinions On Time Travel? I believe it would be possible in the future, but it would quickly be forbidden because of all the chaos it can create, only experts are allowed to time travel
24.) Did You Have/Ever Had Anger Issues? I’m told I have attitude problems
25.) Do You Have Any Siblings And If So Do You Have A Favorite Sibling? I have one twin, two half-sisters which I say are my sisters because I love them dearly thank you very much, and tons of other cousins. My favourite would be my twin because not only does she understand me but she’s the only one that can physically stand by me, as the others are anywhere else, in other town and such
26.) What Did You Ship Before You Knew What Shipping Was? The first ever ship I had was RabbitxTiger or KangaxTiger, not very sure. But the first ship I wrote and read fanfics about was CecexGunther
27.) Are You Typically Late, Early, Or Do You Get To Places On Time? I’m either get to places on time or early. I never snooze, I go when I know I get there on a good time, not too early, just enough so I won’t have to hurry
28.) What Was The First Fandom You Joined? Shake it Up! and I’m not proud of it. My firts fanfics, my first “amv’s”
29.) How Long Does It Take You To Get ready In The Morning?: I never snooze, I wake up at the instant my alarm goes off, I prepare what to wear and I pack my bag the night before, and I don’t eat breakfast. I’m ready for shool in around 15 minutes or less. But that’s school days........
30.) What’s Your Favorite Thing About Yourself? I don’t get shit.*
31.) Have You Ever Sent Someone Anon Compliments? No, I’m open and ready to spam you with love
32.) What Was The Longest You Ever Went Without Sleeping? Just a few hours after 24, like I have done a few allnighters, but that’s it. I can’t keep my eyes open.
*Just so you know, I wrote hella lot on question 30, because I just can’t find the right thing to say. here is so much that I feel is decet about me, but I just can’t put anything to words. I can draw kinda okay? I can write like a motherfucker, but that doesn’t mean I write frequently, or as if anything of it is poetic, but I can vomit words like a chatty extrovert. My mind is big, that’s a thing I’ve had a lot of compliments about, and that I don’t carw about norms. I don’t care hwat people think how I should be in society, so I dress and act however I want. Not because I don’t care, I just don’t understand
I don’t get shit.
#fandoms#tropes#questions#a lot of shit#my shit#stuff about me#ao no exorcist#disney#the hobbit#and a lot of toher stuff#just stuff in general#I'm so tired#kinda liked to do this tho#that's probably why I did it too#i guess
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I wish someone had warned me “When Marnie Was There” was the queerbaiting flamewar igniting movie that it was... All this time, ever since the trailer I’ve been wanting to see it.
This critique describes what happened pretty accurately: https://babydykediaries.wordpress.com/2015/07/17/queer-childhood-in-when-marnie-was-there-omoide-no-marnie/
Below are spoilers. Please at least watch the trailer above. Watch the movie too if u can, so u feel my rage.
Let me preface this by saying: When Marnie Was There fucked me up.
After seeing that the movie was playing at my local theatre, I looked up the IMDB description and…be still my beating heart. IT WAS SO GAY.
Let me explain. The movie released in May by Studio Ghibli tells the story of Anna, a 12 year old introverted tomboy who goes to the countryside and meets Marnie, a dreamy femmesque girl with flowing blonde locks. Moonlit boat rides and awkward pair dancing ensue.
Needless to say, it took me the 3 minutes that the trailer lasted to make up my mind and buy the tickets.
Do me a favour and learn from my mistakes, everyone. I went on tumblr (I know!) and my beautiful dream of baby queers frolicking in the fields went down in pieces. Marnie is Anna’s HWAT?! Grandmother?!
Despite having been spoiled beyond the point of no return, I still chose to go and see the movie. I knew that after watching the first 45 minutes, I’d be so invested in Marnie/Anna ship that the ending would send me straight to heartbreak hotel. GO AHEAD, BREAK ME, I thought.
And break me, it did. Anna’s growing infatuation with Marnie, and their intense relationship struck just too close to home for me. Like many queer kids, around the time when puberty hit, I fell in love with my best friend. As I watched Anna open her heart for the first time, I distinctly remembered what it felt like to be a baby queer. I remembered what it felt like to be different, to be an outcast. I remembered how it felt to finally find someone who accepts me for who I am. I remembered not knowing how to call what I was feeling. As I saw Anna coming back to the marsh house again and again, I remembered waiting outside my friend’s door, breaking curfew just to see her. Most of all, I remembered doubting myself — is this love? Is this real? Or am I just imagining things?
Anna asks Marnie, “Are you real? You look like the girl I saw in my dreams” and Marnie replies, “It is not a dream.” I think that Anna’s dreams of Marnie and her drawings resonated with a few queer people in the audience. When true feelings cannot be expressed in real life, they often travel to the realm of imagination — dreams, day dreams, fantasies, or art. Marnie, a whimsical girl who only exists in Anna’s dreamscape, is the perfect manifestation of young queer love.
The two girls’ relationship is limited by both space and time — it is impossible in a way that suggests queerness. Anna can only meet Marnie far away from the adult world, at an abandoned mansion separated from the village by water. The journey that Anna has to make in order to see Marnie suggests transformation, a passing through. Marnie acts as a guide for Anna, leaving the boat for her and teaching her how to row. Thus, Anna has to literally come out on the other side to be with Marnie.
Moreover, the two promise to keep each other secret. Since Marnie introduces Anna to her family as a flower girl, it seems that the relationship between them is what needs to remain hidden under that old shawl. The timespan of the girls’ meetings is also limited. For the first time, Anna sees the lights in the marsh house when she is leaving at night. When she comes back to the house in the daytime, it is empty again. The scenes between Marnie and Anna often end with a pan of the moon over the lake, suggesting that their relationship can only exist in its changing light.
The relationship between Anna and Marnie is queer in the way that it interrupts the heteronormative family narrative. When she’s with Marnie, Anna can’t remember the Oiwas, the relatives she is staying with. Conversely, when she tries to think about the Oiwas, Marnie literally vanishes, her face breaking into pixels. At Oiwa’s house, Anna forgets about Marnie and nearly misses their nightly rendezvous. Similarly, Marnie can only be with Anna outside the house walls. Anna is invited in as a flower girl, but after a glass of wine ends up falling asleep outside. Inside the house, Marnie dances with Kazuhiko, her future husband. She can only dance with Anna on the outside of the family home. When Kazuhiko comes to the silo, Marnie can’t see Anna and leaves her alone. Anna and Marnie’s relationship cannot exist in adult world characterized by domesticity and heterosexuality. I think that many queers recall introducing their same-sex partner to their parents as a “friend” (or, in this case, “flower girl”).
On the meta level, the heterosexual family narrative interrupts Anna and Marnie’s story. Throughout the movie, there seem to be two parallel story lines — the one where Anna and Marnie are together and the one where Anna is absent. Marnie’s diary follows the latter storyline, where it is Kazuhiko who takes her to the silo. In the other storyline, Anna takes Kazuhiko’s place, bringing Marnie to the silo and comforting her. The fact that Anna in that scene takes on the role of the young man in a heterosexual coupling might just be saying something about her relationship to Marnie. Definitely, a boi putting a trench coat around a beautiful femme’s shoulders as she trembles in the rain is somewhat of a cinematic cliche.
Starting with the silo episode, Marnie is losing her contact with Anna, moving towards the straight storyline. She keeps calling Anna “Kazuhiko” and ends up leaving Anna with Kazuhiko. When Anna comes to say goodbye, Marnie does not explain why she has to leave, only saying that she “can’t stay here much longer.” Anna later finds out that after the silo episode, Marnie married Kazuhiko and had a child. Thus, in terms of plot development, Marnie has to stop seeing Anna because she has to grow up e.g. marry a man and have kids. The ensuing hocus-pocus with grandma flashbacks effectively terminates the queer storyline, explaining away the intimate relationship between two girls as a long-lost family connection.
“I love you, Marnie“
Currently, the internet is split into two camps. The first camp argues that When Marnie Was There is queerbaiting, that studio Ghibli consciously made the relationship between main characters seem queer and pulled a “no homo” in the end. The other camp in multiple ways argues that the characters were never queer in the first place and queer audiences imagined everything. The latter is an example of gaslighting, where one side makes another side doubt their sanity and perception. In my opinion, the final plot twist does not negate what the first of 45 minutes of the movie show — a deep intimate connection between two girls that remains to be interpreted by the audience. Moreover, an artwork has a life beyond the intentions of its creators and viewers are free to read against the grain.
So, is When Marnie Was There a queerbait? My answer is … yes and no
Marnie is a movie about queer childhood. Childhood is a queer time when we are allowed to play outside the rules of the adult world. As kids, we are allowed to form intense connections with people of the same sex without having our identity questioned. People who are brought up as female are allowed to be tomboys until it’s time for us to become proper ladies. But not all of the kids want to grow up. Some, as Kathryn B. Stockton wrote, “grow sideways.” Some girls continue to play house with girls, and some girls refuse to become women. In When Marnie Was There, the same-sex relationship is treated as a vehicle for Anna to get over her abandonment issues and move on to “bigger,” “better” things.
I know that the movie is based on the book of the same title by Joan G. Robinson, and that studio Ghibli stuck true to the original story. I have not read the book, but I suspect that Ghibli somewhat strayed from the original in its portrayal of the girls’ relationship. In my opinion, Ghibli consciously portrayed the friendship between Anna and Marnie as bordering on romance. The internet sceptics have explained away the physical contact between the main characters as typical for friends in Japanese culture. Fair enough. However, the movie was aimed at a global audience and the creators must have been aware of the way western audience would perceive the relationship. More importantly though, the connection between two girls runs deeper than skin touch. The way that the two open up to each other and share together a world hidden from others’ eyes exemplifies precisely the kind of same-sex relationship that heteronormative adult world asks children to leave behind. Notably, for children, as for queer people, the line between love and friendship is not always clearcut and sometimes can be non-existent.
Why studio Ghibli decided to make the relationship between the main characters queer and still retain the original straight ending remains a mystery. Unfortunately, I cannot rule out that they might have done it in order to attract the queer and titillate the straight audience, but still wanted to play it safe. The story of Anna and Marnie’s relationship is beautiful and heart-wrenching, but the ultimate message to the queer audience remains the same. Intentionally or unintentionally, When Marnie Was There captures our society’s attitude towards queer children — “It is just a phase.”
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