#i only ever had a hyperfixation on two of them guess who

[munchymungo]

all these characters exude same vibe to me and you know im right

[alpaca-clouds]

Why do people struggle so much with understanding pacing?

Okay, let me talk about my pet peeve when it comes to writing in any medium. Pacing.

People, who know me for long, will know that this has been the thing I have been complaining about since I was like 12. And there is a good reason for it.

See, when I learned to write, there was this guy who I greatly admired as an author. And after bugging him for a while (look folks, the internet was a very different place from what it is now) he did give me some recommendations on books on writing. And a lot of them went deeply into his pet peeve, which - you guessed it - was pacing as well.

And thus, I learned early on about story structure, and pacing, and how to pace out a story in a way grips the audience. This material I read went onto different techniques for different mediums, into how different cultures had a different ways of dealing with this, and so on, and so forth.

Some of my main take aways were, that a lot of very long stories struggled massively with pacing, and that a ton of people also very miscalculated their ability to handle characters in terms of pacing - because characters and pacing are two things that are very, very heavily connected.

I also learned something else, though: That a lot of western writing advice did not understand anything about pacing outside of the idea that stories were supposed to have three acts - or maybe five - and ideally from a certain fateful day in the early 2000s on, would follow the "save the cat" formular. (Mind you, I do not hate "Save the Cat", however, this formular has been created for movies. It works at times somewhat well for books, too. But it definitely does not for for pretty much anything serialized, because that is not what it was developed for.)

And I also learned another thing: Most people do not understand pacing either, because pacing is not a thing that is ever taught in normal school (like most things that are about creative writing are not). So, while some people might have a gut feeling that the pacing of something might be off, they rarely can actually say why. And this is only worsened by the fact that today's tiktok addicted society is so used to consuming ultra condensed media, that they will perceive anything less condenses than 1 minute tiktok videos as "too slow and boring".

So, please allow me - the guy who kinda hyperfixated on this specific writing skill - to talk about pacing. And this will be in the following points:

What is pacing actually?

How do characters relate to pacing?

Pacing, Streaming and the supposed "filler episode".

Pacing and Fantasy

Pacing in Action vs anything else

Pacing in books vs visual media

What Is Pacing actually?

Okay, I think one of the main issues when it comes to understanding pacing is, that a lot of people see pacing on a on a spectrum that goes from "I am bored" to "I can't follow the plot anymore". But that actually does not always have to do with the pacing - obviously.

Technically pacing is the speed in which the plot moves. Or, to make it more quantifiable: "How many plot points (beats) are covered per either time (in any timed medium) or per page (in anything you read)". Which makes sense at the first glance - but does actually often not line up with the subjective perception of this. Becau se here is the thing: No, fight scenes are not automatically fast paces. A lot of modern action movies have super slow paced - in terms of story pacing - action scenes. Because yes, during those action sequences a lot of STUFF happens, but nothing of it actually is in any way related to the plot.

Look, I freaking adore the Fast & Furious movies. But you could literally edit those movies down to like 45 minutes each and not lose a single plot beat. But of course, nobody would watch those movies - because yes, me and everyone else who adored those movies, is there to watch them lunch cars into space and see stuff blow up. I don't much care about the characters or the plot.

This is by the way also the kinda point that me and other people talk about, when we are unimpressed by "oh, but sex scenes don't add anything to the plot", while the same people would often not make the same argument about action scenes - even though there is a ton of movies and shows where the action scenes really do not add anything to the plot. A lot of people just do not perceive action sequences as slow pacing, because even if nothing that happens on the screen actually adds anything to the plot or moves it forward, it is undeniable, that STUFF is happening. So basically monkey brain will go: "Hehe, things go boom!"

Don't get me wrong: there absolutely are stories in which the action is moving the plot. Mad Max Fury Road is a great example. The movie is also about 60% action - but the action scenes actually add to the plot.

Meanwhile nothing tells you as much about how unimportant some of the MCU action scenes are, than the fact, that they are often done by a completely different team and will be done apart from the rest of the movie.

But yes, traditionally the idea was, that towards the "finale" of a piece of media, a lot more plot beats would happen over a shorter amount of time. You will see that also in a lot of beat sheets. There are more beats that need to happen in the third act of a story - if we go by three act structure. And often there is actually even more plot developments, as usually in a finale all the "plotlines" will kinda finish up in the end. So even plotlines where not a lot has happened to this point - this shows especially in serialized works both in TV shows and stuff like manga or comics - the important plot points will then often happen close to the finale, because it feels more "right".

In older serialized media - especially TV shows prior to streaming - you also had the same thing hold true towards the finale of a "story arc". In a lot of older shows, you would usually see a structure that looked like this.

The "rise" here technically has less to do with more stuff happening in later arcs or seasons - and more with the threat-level rising, and the convulutedness of a story. lol

But yeah, the take-away from this part should be: No, action does not equal fast pacing. There can be action-heavy shows with super slow narrative pacing - but it will to many not feel this way, because at least action is interesting to watch. Which also might be an explanation to why people are a lot worse in seeing the issue with action-scenes that are not adding anything in visual media, but might actually notice it in written stories. Because in books action scenes do not feel "fast paced" in the same way they feel in movies, where the often faster editing and the amount of motion on screen will create this effect.

Oh, and on the other side: Of course there can be slow paced plots that will leave you having problems following. At times, because they are badly written (aka: the media does not give you all the information you need) - and at times, because a piece of media might expect you to know a certain bit of information that you do not know. I can definitely think of a variety of scifi media, that just expects you to know stuff about computer stuff or space, and will not explain it to you. Which might make you need longer time to take plot developments in, and then leaves you reeling.

Another thing however that is also important is: If the pacing stays actually the same throughout a piece of media - rather than accelarating towards the finale (or finales if there are multiple) - it actually will feel wrong in some way. Often people (even I, who hyperfixates on this specific thing) struggle to point at it at first. But yes, this very much is an issue that also can happen. You want the pacing to accelerate towards certain points in the plot - and then slow down. If you had an important point, you want a few slower scenes/episodes/chapters afterwards, to allow the audience to somewhat absorb all the new things you presented them with.

How do characters relate to pacing?

Alright, now we come to the dicey part - specifically, because a lot of people (which includes narratologists, creative writing professors, and people professionally writing) actually kinda do not fully agree on this. So, fair warning: This is how I think.

A character arc in many cases absolutely is a part of the plot. Most media we consume these days are character driven, so the characters are absolutely centrally connected to the plot and the plot mainly exists to have the character move from point A to point B. Or, to make it more basic: To have a character realize that their WANT is not their NEED.

Sure, those characters will usually also accomplish something plot-related. But them accomplishing them is more often than not heavily connected to them fulfilling their character arc. (Please note: characters having a want but having to realize a need is something that is core of western storytelling. However, given that it makes for interesting character arcs, a lot of Asian media these days also will use this as a central driver for character development.)

In some pieces of media, the character arcs are way more heavily tied into the beats of the main plot, than in other. In adventure, action, and related a lot of fantasy and scifi, there is most of the time a character arc happening parallel to the main plot beats. Meanwhile often enough in more down to earth drama and romance, plot beats and character development beats are heavily interwoven. This is not a hard and fast rule - there absolutely is fantasy where the character arc is the plot arc, just as there is romance where the development does not play as heavily into the main plot - but you can generally observe it.

However, no matter how strongly the character development beats line up with plot beats, you cannot deny one thing: character beats are beats that also add to the pacing - even if they technically do not move the main plot forward. So, for example, if you have an episode in a show or a chapter in a book, where important beats happens in terms of a characters development (for example: they realize something important about themselves), this does not necessarily slow the pacing down - even if no actual plot beats happen.

What the fuck is a plot beat? What is a character beat?

This part of the essay was originally not included, but the people reading over it said I should include this.

If we say, that Pacing is basically the description of "Plot Beats per Time" or rather "Plot Beats and/or Character Beats per Time", then we also need to say, what exactly a Plot Beat is. I will fully admit, that this is one of those things in which I forget that this is not a thing taught in school.

I mentioned "Save the Cat" before. "Save the Cat" is a book about writing movies and specifically about pacing out a movie in a way that it is captivating. It mainly focuses on action, but you can absolutely use it for most other genres. And this comes with a so called "beat sheet", a collection of the main story beats that happen, showing when they are going to happen. It looks like this:

Basically a Beat is a scene, in which the plot (or a character arc) is moved forward by a bit. Basically anything that reveals something to the main characters, anything where the basic assumptions about the plot change, anything like that.

Examples for Plot Beats would be:

Character learns about something going on

Characters find out something important about the plot

Someone (either protagonist or antagonist) gets killed or injured

Characters get a new power or item that is important to the plot

Romance goes forward or a reason for the romance to happen is found

Characters find a hint for something they want to reach

And examples of Character Beats would be:

Character learns something about themselves

Character makes a decision for themselves

Characters realizes feelings about something or someone

Character overcomes trauma

And mind you, because I cannot fit this anywhere else: If you read these you might realize, why Musicals are basically a cheat for very fast pacing. Because you can put an entire character arc into a 4 minute song. This is why musical animated shows like Steven Universe or My Little Pony managed to pull some insanely paced episodes, like the Empire City episodes for SU, and the episode in which the Cutie Mark Crusaders finally got their Cutie Marks. Musicals are insane when it comes to this.

And something that you have to realize: While for movies and books certain Beat Sheets (Save the Cat is not the only one) work rather well, those Beat Sheets usually do not work well for Shows. And currently we are living in a time, where this becomes very noticable - because a lot of modern shows are written and aired as basically 4-8 hour movies, using often just the "Save the Cat" beat sheet (if you have read Save the Cat, you will see it EVERYWHERE, because it is so frequently used in western media), but... obviously, Save the Cat is made for something that has 2 hours, and as such a lot of modern media feels strangely slow and stretched out.

Pacing, Streaming, and the supposed "filler episode"

(Yes, this needed to be the gif for this. Because no filler episode has lodged itself quite as strong into my brain as this one.)

So, let me talk about the issue in modern media. Because oh boy.

As I said: I hyperfixated on this specific writing skill forever - and as such I was annoyed by "filler episodes" in TV shows. To explain for the youngest people (not that I am assuming a lot of those are on this hellsite lol): "Filler" was the name given to material that did not move the plot forward at all. So a "filler episode" was an episode, that was just there to fill the episode slot for the week, while no plot was happening. I am not fully sure whether the term originated with anime - but at least back in the early 2000s, before Shonen-Anime were done as 12-26 seasons that then allowed the manga to get ahead in between, "filler" was also the name used for those story arcs that the anime people made up for shows like Naruto, One Piece or Dragonball, that were not in the manga - and hence obviously also never added to any overarching narrative.

And what can I say: We did not appreciate the filler episode enough. Because this related very much to the last part: While filler episodes did indeed not add to the plot and usually by definition did not the character development, they actually still added something often enough.

They allowed the audience to get to know the characters a bit better and get a better feeling for the character relationships - and those episodes take out a bit of speed, which is actually important.

As said before: The pacing should not be even throughout an entire piece of media. In a TV series after an episode that was especially tense and pushed the plot or characters forward a lot, there should be ideally at least one or two episodes that move forward slower or even not at all. This allows the viewer to sit with the new developments for a bit - and of course the characters to have a moment to breathe and process whatever happened to them.

There is also the fact that those episodes usually give the audience a better understanding for the characters - and if you have an audience who at this point ideally care about some the characters, this will even be more successful.

And as I said. Back in ye olden days, a lot of people - me included - complained so much about Filler. But we were wrong. Fillers are amazing, as long as they do not overtake the whole show.

Pacing and Fantasy

Okay, let's talk about a thing, that is somewhat funny. A lot of fantasy - specifically written fantasy media - often has a pacing problem. And this problem comes from the Worldbuilding. Others forms of fantasy media (other than games - though pacing in games is whole different matter) have this too at times, but it tends to be worst in books.

Basically, when you are a fantasy worldbuilder, you have this whole world. And this leaves you with two problems.

a) You are afraid that people will not be able to follow the plot if you not give them a lot of information about this world and how it differs from ours.

b) Well, you build this entire world. And the people should KNOW.

So, a lot of fantasy media basically regularly will stop to explain to the reader or audience, whatever is happening right now. Some writers manage somewhat naturally put this in. Maybe they have a character that does not know a lot about for example magic or dragons, and they can ask questions and act as an audience stand-in. But even in cases, where the worldbuilding is somewhat brought in naturally (which by far is not all of them - because people usually do not naturally talk about stuff they both know, or think a lot about something they find naturally) those "explanation" pieces will make the plot come to a screeching halt.

So, the more worldbuilding you explain, the slower your pacing is.

And of course, pacing is not a reliable thing to keep people reading, and pacing will not always turn people off. But you know how people complain about how slow Lord of the Rings is? This is because of course, every time that Tolkien describes a piece of landscape over multiple pages, there is no plot happening on those pages. And while I personally think some of those descriptions are darn stunning, it is one of those things many people will not like.

However, this makes it a bit complicated. Because yes, worldbuilding explanations will slow down the pacing to a degree that can be problematic. But if you explain too little worldbuilding, people might struggle to follow the story. Which again is the most common problem if the pacing is "too fast" as well. Basically, people do not properly follow the plot and will struggle to understand what is happening and why.

But the opposite is true as well. I have read way too many fantasy books, where after the first 100 pages, I know a lot about the city the plot is set in, or about the magic system, but sadly have so far not been privy to any information what the plot is about, what the characters try to archive, or even who actually the characters are. And that, yeah... Is probably the most common reason why I put aside a variety of fantasy books in the past.

Pacing in Action-media vs anything else

Okay, let me talk about one other thing. See, the word "pacing" is at times used in some other context: In visual media, pacing will be used for the editing of what we see. Basically the amount of cuts that happen within a scene. Or, in a comic, the distribution of panels is also seen as a pacing element.

And anyone who heard people complain about how at times confusing the editing in action movies is, you know that this at times can get too much.

Still, in visual media action scenes feel usually fast - because the characters are moving around rather fast. In a visual piece of media, action scenes are often thrilling, because the characters are in constant danger of dying, and because a lot of stuff is happening. This often works better in visual media, than in written pieces. While it absolutely is possible to write thrilling action scenes, a lot of writers struggle with this, because they tend to overdescribe and that takes the speed out of the prose. But generally speaking, a couple of punches thrown - something that in a movie takes about 10 seconds - will in book easily end up in 200-500 words, which you will not read quite as fast. A bit more about that later.

And then there is the issue with the action scenes, that even is true for visual medial, is that they often really do not have any important plotbeats. Sure, if the characters have their final battle, that is a plot point. But in a lot of action media - especially TV shows - there are a lot of scenes included that really do not add anything, but just are there because folks love watching action scenes.

This goes so far, that people will think a show or movie with a lot of action scene will just be seen as "good fast pacing", even though if the actual pacing in terms of plot beats being spaced out is rather bad. As a good example I will once more nod at the Fast & Furious and the Mission Impossible movies, that often have horrid pacing and very confusing plots - but they do not feel really like it, because the movies are like 60% action scenes, and hence they do not feel like it when you watch them.

It can work at times. I spoke about my love of the F&F movies. Can I tell you a lot of the characters? Nope, but the action scenes are fun to watch!

But this also tends to mean, that in a badly paced movie or show, that is badly paced because the action scenes not adding any plot beats, everything tends to fall apart when the action scenes do not work. And often enough action scenes will still be prioritized over everything else in many of those pieces of media, making things fall apart easily.

Pacing in books vs visual media

I have hinted at this now multiple times: Written media is generally a bit harder to pace than visual media, because of the things you can and cannot control. While a writer in a book has full control over the scenario, a director of a show or movie had actually influence the timeflow of the things happening on screen. As a writer meanwhile you absolutely have no influence on the speed in which your reader will read.

Sure, you can somewhat influence it. Shorter sentences are easier read. An general lower reading level will allow people to read quicker. So simpler words, shorter words, shorter sentences will make parts appear quicker. You can use this for example in action scenes to have a bit more of this breathless feeling that an action scene on screen might have. Use short sentences. Do not link sentences up. Quick hits. Quick impressions. It can work - but it needs some training. Not to say it is fucking hard.

Generally speaking to my experience when you write a single novel, the "Save the Cat" Beat Sheet actually works rather well, if you are the kind of writer who is fairly good at planning things out. If I actually try, I will usually manage to plan out a story and predict fairly well how many words a chapter will have. So yes, for books I can very much use "Save the Cat" and it will work.

However, some things simply work a lot better when you have visual parts going on - but there are other things you can do better when you do not have the visual stuff. For example: A writer can do much more when it comes to motivation and introspection of characters. Yes, this slows down the pacing - but it is something that writing has basically over any form of media that is not a musical. (In a Musical you can characters do introspection through songs. Musicals are the ultimate way of cheating. I love them!)

Something I feel so many writers struggle with in terms of books is actually putting in a clear goal for the character from the beginning. Again: I have put too many books aside where I reached page 100 and did not yet have any goal for the main character.

That goal you give them does not necessarily need to be their final goal. Again: A lot of western storytelling deals with the incongruent nature of a characters "needs" (aka something that would actually help them) with the character's "wants" (aka what they think they would need). But at the very least the plot needs something that it can head towards from the very beginning - a hook to capture the reader.

There might be readers that are absolutely fine with just reading an exercise in worldbuilding - but you cannot expect them to be.

[worldserasingandcreatinginmymind]

The Monster of Wolf Woods | Part One

Summary: a love story of a muggle and a werewolf

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: Remus hating on himself

A/N: this is the start of a two part (possibly more if people like it) story to please the David Thewlis hyperfixation my brain currently has. Hope you enjoy! as always spelling and grammar are not my strongest skills so please be kind :)

- - - - -

I’d never paid much attention to the moon, other than the occasional glance up to admire it’s beauty on a dark night. I’d never stopped to consider the danger that lurked beneath it. That is until I met Remus. 

I work in a small independent book shop in the middle of a small independent village. No one really knows this village exists aside from the people who live here and there are only around 300 or so of us. I was working in the bookshop the day I met Remus. It’s not very often you meet new people in this village when so he walked into the shop I felt my heart jump with excitement. His gentle nature, kind smile and enthusiasm for books caught my attention and I quickly developed a crush on him. I kicked myself for not asking for his number as I watched him leaving the shop, thinking I’d blown my opportunity and that I’d never see him again. 

To my surprise (and relief) he came back the following day. And the day after that. And the day after that. 

He came back to the shop every single day for almost a week, each time buying a new book before talking to me for at least an hour about the book he’d purchased the previous day. It was like we’d started our own little book club. 

“Well lovely chatting you as always. I’ll see you tomorrow.” he said on the Saturday as he turned to leave the shop. 

“Actually we’re closed on Sundays.” I replied regretfully, half considering opening up the shop just for him. 

“Oh” he responded disappointed, thinking for a moment “Well I guess you’ll have to let me take you out somewhere else then.”

“Like, a date…?” I tested, feeling butterflies as I waited for his answer. 

“If that’s okay with you.” He suddenly sounded nervous. “You don't have to of course, if you’d rather not-”

“Remus” I said gently, interrupting him before he had a chance to fully spiral. “I thought you’d never ask.” 

“You- you want to?” The hope in his eyes melted my heart. 

“I’ve wanted to since the day you first walked in.” 

The next day we met up outside the closed bookshop. He brought flasks of coffee and together we walked through the village and shared stories about our lives with each other. He told me about how he spent the past year working as a teacher at some private boarding school but recently moved back to the area after having enough of dealing with ‘rich overbearing parents’. I told him how I’d moved to this village 6 months ago after splitting with my ex, opening up to him about the awful way I’d been treated which explained why I wanted a fresh start in the middle of nowhere. 

We’d become so distracted in our conversation that I didn’t even realise how far we’d walked until we arrived at the edge of the forest. 

“Everything alright dear?” He asked, noticing my hesitation to follow him. 

“This is the entrance to wolf woods.” I say and he nods. “Did you mean to bring us here?” 

The forest wasn’t really called wolf woods, that’s just the nickname given to it by the locals because if you listen into the night when the moon is full you can almost hear the sounds of a wolf howling. No one had ever actually seen a wolf, but the villagers still would never get near just in case. 

“I must admit I got so caught up listening to your story I lost track of where we were going. I didn’t mean to bring you so close to the forest. I’m sorry if I scared you.”

“Oh no, I’m not scared!” I say with a smile and he looks at me confused.

“But the wolf lives here.”

“I’ve read a lot about them and I think they’re beautiful and misunderstood creatures. I’m more concerned that if there is a wolf living in these woods then two humans walking into its home might startle it and make it feel unsafe.” When I looked at Remus I swear I saw a tear in his eye. “Are you okay?” 

“I’ve never heard mugg-” he corrected himself “person talk so kindly about a monster before.” 

“I don't believe they’re monsters. But even if they were, everyone deserves kindness…” I say, taking a step to close the gap between us.” …everyone deserves love.” 

Remus suddenly leant down and kissed me, taking my breath away, before pulling away flustered. 

“Sorry, I don't know what came over me-” he starts breathlessly but I grab his face and pull him in for another kiss, this one lasting longer as we both melted into each other. 

That was the first of many kisses I shared with Remus as we started seeing each other. As the months went by I noticed a trend in his behaviour. Once a month he’d be gone for a couple of days on what he jokingly referred to as a ‘super secret work trip’ but would never actually go into detail about. When I tried to ask him more about these trips or even what he did for work the conversation would always go elsewhere. He would often come back from these trips with cuts and bruises that he’d try to hide from me. His energy would be low and though he’d try to put on a happy face I could tell he was down. 

After one particularly bad trip where he came back using a cane to help him walk I sat him down on the sofa in my living room and pulled up a chair to sit in front of him as I asked him for the truth. He gave me a sad smile, and started to explain everything. I sat and listened, occasionally asking a question to help me understand, while he told me about magic and wizards and muggles and Hogwarts. It amazed me to find out this whole other world existed right under my nose. It also terrified me a little to learn of someone he referred to as ‘the dark lord’, but Remus assured me that we’d be safe. 

“So… you're a wizard?” I asked and he nodded. I smiled. “That’s pretty cool.” 

“There’s more.” His face turned serious as he took my hand. He breathed deep and I could tell he was afraid of what he had to say next. “There is a wolf that lives in the forest. But he’s not beautiful like the wolves you’ve read about in your nature books. This one really is a monster. And I’m really hoping that you meant it when you said everyone deserves love because-” he stopped, trying to calm himself with another deep breath. “Y/N…”

“It’s okay.” I said, squeezing his hand tighter as he started to cry. 

“It’s not okay, it’s not!” He cries and I placed one hand on his cheek, wiping tears away with my thumb as they rolled down past his scars. “I can’t-”

“You can Remus. Nothing that you say will change the way I feel about you.” I gently guided his face so I can look into his eyes. “Look at me. You can tell me.” 

He removed my hand from his face, placing it with my other hand in his. 

“I’m a werewolf.” He says, looking down to fix his gaze on where our hands are intwined. “When I was a child a vicious werewolf broke into our family home and attacked me while I was sleeping and ever since then I have been cursed to transform into something I hate every full moon. There’s a bunker near my cottage in the forest that I lock myself in but the wolf is loud and sometimes the villagers hear me. Thankfully no one has ever been brave enough to go searching the woods and hopefully they never will. For years I’ve been planting ideas in the muggle’s heads. The right words said to the right people at the right time and before you know it the whole village has been warned to stay clear of the dangerous creature in the forest. They have no idea its really me. I am the monster of wolf woods.”

My hands slip from Remus’ as he leans back in his chair, letting out a breath as he watches me with worry in his eyes, trying to work out what I’m thinking. Silently I stand up from my seat and Remus’ worry turns to panic. 

“I understand completely if this is too much, if you don't want to see me-” he starts babbling but I cut him off as I sit down on the sofa next to him, putting my arm around him to pull him into a tight hug. I feel how much he is shaking and he starts to cry with relief. 

“I can’t lie, that was a lot to take in. But it doesn’t change anything. You’re still Remus, the gentle natured book nerd with a kind smile who came into my shop and stole my heart all those months ago.” I say, leaning away to look in his face. “My Remus.” 

“I don't deserve you.” He whispers with a sad smile. 

“Yes you do.” I smile back at him as I kiss him on the nose, causing us both to start giggling. 

“Thank you.” he says once we’ve composed ourselves. “My Y/N. I really do love you.” 

“I really do love you too.” 

*part two coming soon*

[sirenologyyy]

MODERN ATWOW BAND HEADCANONS !

✹ summary : in which i'm slowly crawling back to my avatar hyperfixation and i decided to make a band au!except I'm right (or not take this with a grain of salt hehe) and I frl can't see them playing any other roles

✹ author's note : let this not flop in eywa we pray 🙏 and yes, Daisy Jones and the Six is my favorite book, how did you guess?

✹ warnings : mentions of bleeding, scabs, swearing obv

It all started one balmy afternoon when Lo'ak and Spider were blowing off their biochemistry homework lying down on the floor staring at the cieling fan undeviatingly oscillate above them. Then, Lo'ak suddenly sits up from his spot causing Spider to look at him.

"What's up?" Asked Spider.

Lo'ak looks at him, a newfound determination in his wide eyes. "Dude, what if we start a band."

Spider frowns. "A band?"

"No, but hear me out for a second." says Lo'ak bristling in his spot as Spider sits up.

Although wary, Spider hums. "Alright."

"Think about it, school's almost over, we barely know anybody in this town, are we seriously gunna hangout in the beach all summer trying to make friends?"

Spider chuckles. "I think I'm missing the point where that's a bad idea."

"Spider, come on bro- look at us, we're losers alright? We're practically throwaway fish to the kids at school- but if we start a band, who knows how many people'll wanna be a part of it, we'll score a couple of life long friends AND it'll be our one solid excuse not to be at home" Lo'ak's riposte was proving to make sense, with a toothy smile to cap it off, but of course Spider- considering he was two years Lo'ak's senior had to pop his bubble with the pragmatic pin of reality.

"I don't know dude, it sounds kinda lame." Spider replies hesitantly, propping himself up by his elbows. "We've been trying to start a band since 7th grade, we always end up calling it quits on the 3rd week."

"This time it'll be different."

Spider scoffs. "Uh-huh? How "

Lo'ak nudges his right shoulder upwards. "We'll ask Neteyam to help."

Spider shoots him yet another look. "If he doesn't want to help?"

"We make do," Lo'ak shrugs. "What's wrong with a two man band?"

"Almost everything." Spider snorts.

★ lo'ak ──────── electric guitar

when they used to live back in high camp, he found an old silvertone in their attic that used to belong to jake during his marine days along with scores of 70's rock bands' songs on yellowing paper fraying at the edges and folds.

He spent 3 months learning a song with 4 chords by ear and performed it at the school talent show

When he got into 6th grade he did not only beg, for an electric guitar he GROVELED. He suddenly wanted to do all the chores in the house, he suddenly got C's instead of D's in tests, it was terrifying because who the hell WAS this and what did they do to the real Lo'ak???

Jake and Neytiri didn't give him one until he was 13. Jake just picked him up from school one day and all of a sudden just asked: you wanna get that electric guitar?

LO'AK WAS OVER THE GODDAMN MOON.

got a classic red stratocaster.

The first song he ever learned to play on the guitar was buddy holly by weezer...

Come on you guys what were you expecting

likes picking at his finger scabs and does it until neteyam or tsireya tells him off.

has multiple guitar picks but always uses this specific one he made into a necklace and wears it everywhere.

THEN PROCEEDS TO LOSE SAID GUITAR PICKS

tuk keeps hiding them around the house waiting for lo'ak to lose his mind.

he can play any song by ear, just watch.

plays around with riffs more often than not.

★ neteyam ──────── back up vocalist / lyricist

never even wanted to join the band but was bullied into joining (kiri joined when he said he wouldn't just to spite him)

has perfect pitch (are we surprised though)

YOU'D SNEEZE AND BITCH ASS CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT NOTE IT'S AT.

uses it to nitpick Lo'ak when he's straying from the original pitch.

lo'ak will then threaten to cave his face in with his capo.

his favorite artists are frank ocean and kendrick lamar.

no one in his entire school woulda guessed he could sing. Nobody.

was made to sing in family events... (iykyk)

loves musicals. his favorite's Hamilton...

Jake and Neytiri took him to see Hamilton once in New York when he was 11, he's never been the same since.

HAS MAJOR FUCKING STAGE FRIGHT I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. HE WILL NOT GO ON STAGE UNTIL YOU SMACK HIM IN THE HEAD SO HARD HIS BRAIN RESETS AND SUDDENLY HAS THE BALLS TO FACE THE AUDIENCE.

Once he's out there though he totally changes, he gets more confident, when he's really feeling it then his braids start flying everywhere... it's becoming an issue really, he might take someone's eye out with how solid his hair beads are...

hurled his guts out one time before they had to perform at the end of year school fair.

★ kiri ──────── pianist

there are always four types of gays. English Teacher Gays, Art Teacher Gays, History Teacher Gays, and Music Teacher Gays.

Kiri was definitely the last one.

lo'ak got her a shirt that says "key master" with her face horribly photoshopped onto the keys of a piano.

she burned it the night she got it.

til this day lo'ak never knew what happened to it.

Suki Waterhouse as Karen Sirko in the DJATS live action? Brain chemistry = altered

Stevie Nick's and Lindsey Buckingham's performance of Silver Spring in Fleetwood Mac's Reunion concern in 1997? = Roman Empire.

was in the school choir and would play the piano in their choir director's stead.

has been playing the piano for 9 years but always gets confused when asked to play a flat or a sharp (it takes her 4 tries to figure out where C minor is)

her favorite piece to play is over the waves by juventino rosas.

when she wants to show jake a new piece she's been working on, by the first minute he's out like a fucking light. SHE'S JUST THAT GOOD.

also when she wants to play a piece with too many chords she never wanted to play it in the first place.

once she messes up she's definitely one of those people who spams the keys.

one time when she was playing a piece her fingers cramped mid-song and she freaked out.

★ spider ──────── drums

his dad's military friends taught him how to play the drums.

lo'ak dared him he couldn't do a drumroll for an hour.

spider did it in two and a half but stopped cuz he got hungry LMAO.

impresses kiri with various drumstick spins, it dosen't impress her.

practically worshipped that one vine of those two kids.

was definitely one of those kids that played with overturned pots and pans and pretended it was a drum set (it annoyed the hell outta norm)

once lost his drum sticks and used chopsticks (ps. they weren't the same)

scribbled their band logo on his bass drum and was very proud of it.

INSISTED they would call themselves "the seven skxawngs"

nobody listened to him.

when they held auditions for their drummer he went "You guys know I can play the drums right?"

has never watched whiplash.

uploads drum covers on his tiktok account with 70 followers.

makes dumb jokes if the others can't figure out a certain chord or note he'd go "guys maybe it's at H!"

the most chillest person in the band though frl.

somehow always manages to pull??? The amount of game this man has solely just because he's the drummer is wild.

they once performed at an event with 50 people and Spider was wearing addidas slides the entire time and nobody noticed.

★ tsireya ──────── main vocals/lyricist

When I tell you this kid can SING SHE CAN SING.

frl the real life ariel I swear evrrytime she opens her mouth everyone's wishing on her downfall because she's such a talented singer, her vibratro is so measured, her runs are so clean, she's just so UGHHHH.

is such a theatre kid oh Lord.

was made to sing at family events too (it's practically a canon event atp guys.)

has a special journal where she writes her song lyrics that she takes with her everywhere (give her 5 minutes and she can write a song with just her hand as paper and eyeliner as a pen.)

joined in singing competitions when she was a kid and when she was 10 joined a televised singing competition and managed to make it to the semi-finals.

it's why she's the lead singer of the band anyway.

she always has pearls threaded into her hair every time they perform and it's been her signature look ever since.

her voice is fucking angelic ya'll istg.

is a soprano. enough said.

is amazing at reading sheet music.

she and neteyam wrote 3 original songs that the band performs everytime they get a gig.

aside from singing she can play piano and violin too.

she's a fucking wordsmith too like she's so eloquent and knows all these big words and she's good at expressing her pent up emotions through songwriting.

the literal it girl. Everyone in their band gained more popularity ever since they opened for a popular band from L.A. but everyone in their high-school knows her name. Everyone.

her vocal control is amazing.

she really knows how to liven up a crowd.

★ aonung ──────── rhythm guitar

has been playing guitar since he was 7.

took up guitaring because his dad introduced him and tsireya to playing instruments at a young age.

collects guitar straps.

neteyam's always on his ass about if what he's playing sounds right or not (50% of the time he's not)

it isn't practice without neteyam and aonung almost throwing hands at least thrice.

almost always smokes while practicing.

oddly enough only has one guitar pick and he hasn't lost it yet unlike lo'ak who buys new guitar picks every other month.

obsessed with black nailpolish, you won't see him go on stage without black nails istg.

he didn't even audition for the band. He was just always there at the Sully residence to pick Tsireya up from practice until one day Tsireya told him to come inside the house, when he did he finds out they needed someone for rhythm guitar and that Tsireya let it slip that Aonung knew how to play.

he's been a part of the band ever since.

he's just incredibly good with his fingers, enough said.

after the first time they performed their first gig at some girl's house party, he, rotxo, and lo'ak got high on the rooftop of Aonung's house (yk until Lo'ak slipped and started dangling from the gutters and fell into the pool)

his outfits always eat every time they perform.

james hetfield the goat.

always experimenting with new riffs and runs and adds them to the songs mid-performance and without any warning (just to piss neteyam off)

★ rotxo ──────── bass guitar

the glue and heart of the band frl.

the sweetest basist you'll ever meet.

his family actually owns a popular guitar shop in Awa'atlu, he first started playing the guitar at the ripe age of 5.

Bro is a prodigy but dosen't want to admit it.

aonung bought his first guitar at rotxo's family's shop, they hit it off ever since.

Always brings his baked goods to practices (then kiri devours the entire tray when you aren't looking)

actually fucked up his audition for the band but then Lo'ak found him sobbing in a janitors closet and gave him a second shot at an audition with just Lo'ak and Spider and he was able to redeem himself.

(really only auditioned cuz he played bass, they were finding a bassist, and not because kiri sully was their pianist)

is an introvert but he's so fucking funny that you wouldn't suspect it.

can perform riffs in his sleep (no he actually does though it freaks aonung out when he spends the night in his place.)

kiri made him a resin guitar pick with fragments of coral from the beach when they had their first date.

has a "maturing is realizing bass is the superior instrument" tshirt.

one time wore finger condoms so his scabs wouldn't re-open and bleed all over his guitar 😔

loves playing deftones on the bass.

has chronic "guitar face"

[lowkeyrobin]

Mcyts x autistic reader

•Like autistic reader, who is very open and proud about being autistic. And like openly stems, especially when happy. Hand flaping, finger wiggling, spinning, vocal stims, full body shaking ext

• reader is really bad with volume control and often either mumbles or yells. Maybe when talking about something they're interested in, they just scream mid sentence and then carry on.

• read unknowingly mimicking there s/o while masking like copying their accents, laughs, boy language or just repeat whatever they just said.

• reader info dumps and asks allot of questions (even if that seem obvious)

• reader will randomly just stop masking and give like resting bitch face and speak with more monotone voice.

•and reader quotes things a lot like shows, movies, tiktoks, and people.

<3

oooo okay okay!! I did my best here I swear 🙏 I only did Tommy, Freddie, Quackity & Nihachu bc I genuinley had no new ideas for the others so I apologize 😭🙏 ranboo and tubbo would've been mixtures of everyone and I'm trying to make them all different and it just didn't work ; also this took way too long and maybe ill do a pt2 of this w them + foolish & charlie and whoever else ; anyways hopefully this is good, I did a little bit of research just in case so yeah djsjskkaka

MCYT ; autistic reader

includes ; tommyinnit, badlinu, quackity, & nihachu

warnings ; language

disclaimers ; i'm not autistic so i referred to req above + some research, i apologize if anything is incorrect

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

he's never had a problem with you being autistic and neither have you, and you're totally fine with him making little jokes or comments because you can most of the time see therough them

he finds your stimming, especially when you're happy and excited, so fucking adorable. he literally crumbles everytime.

he also loves when you have him stim with you

you two have this little finger wiggling thing you do together, reference the "dunga dunga dunga" moment in the amsterdam vlog because I can't describe it 💀

if you're spinning to stim, he'll often joke about you getting dizzy or needing to throw up, and halfway join you because you're spinning to create a damn tornado, he can't go that fast LMAO

if somewhere is too loud and you need out, you're going dw, he couldn't care less if you just automatically yell, go nonverbal, or only begin mumbling to him. he's got you

absolutely loves when you're ranting about special interests or hyperfixations

he'll genuinley listen all day long

"and it's so interesting *cue yell* because-"

he'll lightly cringe at the change in volume but don't worry, he's fine. if you ever think differently he'll 100% reassure you that he's alright and he doesn't mind it whatsoever

you'll unknowingly pick up his accent and he'll notice immediately but not point it out, because he's learned that you'll go back to normal after he points it out. he finds it so cute tho

if you're masking in public and get comfy enough, you'll have this miserable looking bitch face and he's just like "Oh they're just like that, don't worry"

you also pick up saying bitch a lot, which he finds hilarious

doesn't understand tone tags a hundred percent but he uses the ones he knows and learns a lot of the other ones as your relationship grows

youre probably quoting total drama and mean girls 24/7 let's be honest

"you're just a homeschooled jungle freak!"

"christ, okay, y/n"

"you know I was quoting mean girls"

whatever phrase he's addicted to saying, you are too

"DARLINGGGGG GUESS WHOS BACK FROM THE PSYCH WARD"

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

FREDDIE BADLINU

always smiles seeing you stim when you're happy/excited

vocal stims with him >>>

9 times out of 10 he'll repeat them after you say them to kind of make it a game, to see who can say ___ the most

you copy his accent and his frequently used phrases a lot

it makes him get all mushy inside because you're literally thinking about him 24/7

info dumping to him >>>> he's always listening bro

he doesn't mind you asking a lot of questions, even if the answer seems obvious. he understands that you don't wanna screw something up or understand something wrong

lots of quoting Garfield. I don't make the rules

"WE'RE BACHELORS, BABY" ; you both quote this often, let's be honest

"whoever moved my shit around should be dragged out onto the street and shot"

"i really hope you're quoting Garfield this time.."

your resting bitch face genuinely makes him giggle, ESPECIALLY the monotone voice

you're also constantly quoting bits from Tommy's show 💀 or replicating the little dance they learned to introduce Freddie

he apologizes a million times, he just can't take you seriously sometimes (if it's a more lighthearted situation)

he seems like the type to know most the tone tags and knows when to use them, but the ones like /nf trip him up

like wdym nf??? like the rapper?? like the guy from those gacha music videos? what's he doing here?

when you randomly yell when you're talking about a special interest/hyperfixation, he raises his eyebrows with an amused smile and nod

"and *cue yell* it's so fucked up but so good!"

"yeah?"

NIKI NIHACHU

she's picked up some stimming from you

you guys finger wiggle little whiskers, like ants or some sort of bug

spinning when you're exited >>>

she cheers you on to try and get you to go faster LMAO

bad with volume control? that's totally fine. she completely understands

giggles whenever you get loud mid-sentence and playfully throws her hands up like you scared her

"Peter... the horse is here"

"is it now?" she giggles

always quoting tik toks and vines istg

ALEX QUACKITY

"road work ahead? yeah, I sure hope it does"

"THIS IS THE BEST DAMN CHICKEN I HAVE EVER HAD"

"oooo I love that scarlet color" she smiles

"I love that scarlet color" you whisper

she loves when you info dump about your special interests/hyperfixations, especially if it's something she's not really into but will gladly hear you talk about because it's interesting

she's also very on it with tone tags just in case, whether you tell her you need them or not

"I'll kill you wtf"

"/J /J SORRY"

she knows every single tone tag, if there was a tone tag test, she'd ace it

the monotone voice and bitch face always scare her for a moment, she's gotta make sure if you're okay and just not masking or if you're actually upset about something

she always gets you gifts surrounding your special interests/current fixations

bro if you're a fanfic writer... she's ur number one reader. absolutely lovessss your writing

you'll pick up her soft tone of voice and the accent and she will do anything but point it out, she loves knowing that she's the one paying attention to it, and seeing you just catch onto something and for you to not notice

need compression for comfort? he's there, any squeezing or form of compression you need is there

need to squeeze his hand? go ahead. need a tight ass hug? he's there

always does a proud smile when he sees you stim, especially in public

generally proud that you aren't masking in public and you're comfortable being yourself

he'll even stim with you sometimes to make you not feel weird about stimming in public and shit 💔

you catch onto his mannerisms a lot, like adjusting your hair, any hats/beanies, talking with your hands, etc

like you'll catch yourself going to adjust your sunglasses and you don't have any on. you realize "wait I've been watching him do it all night, have I been doing that??"

so much info dumping and he's here for it

"wait, what then?"

"she *cue louder talk/almost yell* fucking dies! it was either die or suffer!"

"holy shit, for real?"

you guys are both quoting dumb shit let's be honest

modern family quotes.... you can't go an hour without them

always mumbling "gotta fix that step" it's a vocal stim atp

there's not even a step to fix.

"THERE IS NO DONE IN DUNPHY!!"

"YEAH BEAT HIS ASS Y/N YOURE THE BEST PVPER EVER"

y/u/n was slain by Tubbo

"oh"

"I'm the cool dad, that's my thang, I'm hip"

"y/n I can't do this today" He cackles

[idyllic-affections]

Hello! I saw your works of what Kaveh and Cyno would be like as parents... That leaves me thinking of Al-haitham as a father. Would him take his child to his grandmother? Would he read them advanced physics books? (⁠´⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠ω⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠｀⁠)

scholarly lineage.

summary. what would alhaitham be like as a father?

trigger & content warnings. brief hypothetical mentions of assault in general, can be interpreted as s/a, but is not explicitly stated to be that way. sensory overload mentions. spoilers for alhaitham's character stories.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff. dad!alhaitham & reader. 0.7k words. they/them pronouns for reader. in this fic, alhaitham and the reader are both written as neurodivergent in some way; interpret it however you please!

author's thoughts. OUGDHSJGSJSG wait this is so cute. dad alhaitham..... it is such a cool thought, because with alhaitham, i don't think there's any obvious or "correct" way to write him as a dad. he could be overprotective. he could be very casual, the "cool dad" if you will. also i know i haven't been posting as much recently! it's literally only because i've been hyperfixating on hsr... whoops. /lh

alhaitham as a father is a very interesting concept to me. now, believe it or not, i feel like he is a less strict father than cyno. he's actually relatively laid-back.

alhaitham is the kind of guy who raises his child to be smart. he raises them to play the game, not to be played by it, you know? therefore, he believes in his child's judgement and their ability to make wise decisions. he feels no need to be protective over them.

(however... that does not mean someone could do something harmful to them and get away with it. if anyone does anything to hurt them? abuses them? verbally, physically, or worse? good lord, he does not take well to that. he is a man with power, and by the gods, he'll use it if he has to in their defense.)

if his child has sensory issues, alhaitham is very attentive to those things and will get them any and all needed accommodations. if they struggle with auditory sensory issues where they get easily overwhelmed? they'll have ear pieces that match his. <3

when people point it out, depending on who they are, they will get one of two responses; either him very blatantly admitting that yes, their headset matches his, or him getting a little embarrassed and claiming it was all he had on hand at the moment. liar. /lh

it's kaveh that gets the latter response, of course.

if they ever happen to get annoyed with their father in their moments of overwhelm, he doesn't take it personally at all. sensory overload will do that to a person. he gets it, tbh.

i think alhaitham would definitely want his kid to attend the akademiya. ideally, haravatat, but he supposes he'd be okay if they enrolled in a different darshan. he'll recover...

UNLESS they enroll in kshahrewar. alhaitham would NEVER recover from a betrayal of that magnitude!! however, his grandmother herself was from kshahrewar, so... well. he'd get over it, he guesses. he'd still prefer if they enrolled in haravatat.

whatever darshan they enroll in honestly doesn't matter, though, because if anyone gives them trouble for any reason? all alhaitham has to do is give the problematic person a single look and suddenly the issue is resolved! apparently people think he's scary. not that he minds. he likes it that way; it keeps trouble away from both him and his child.

of course, he won't intervene unless they specifically seek out his help, because he knows his kid can handle themselves. still, he pulls a few strings behind the scenes every now and then. he doesn't really want to see his kid struggle. he knows they're intelligent, and he also knows he doesn't have to worry about them not wanting to work for themselves. therefore, he sees no reason to let them struggle needlessly.

he'd also understand if they weren't too big a fan of being surrounded by so many people. he isn't fond of it, either, so he'd let them stay in his office whenever needed. he'll even invite them to do their classwork in there rather than anywhere else in the akademiya, simply so that they don't have to be around a bunch of random people they couldn't possibly be less interested in.

alhaitham definitely read his kid very difficult books when they were little, which would totally lead to them being ahead of their peers. that really wouldn't be unexpected, i think. they probably enrolled in the akademiya a little early.

you know that "i know you don't know any astronomical pretentious voluminous colossal words" audio? yeah, that was alhaitham's kid when they were small.

also, yes, alhaitham would absolutely take them to his grandmother!! i think she would see their father in them, just like how she saw alhaitham's parents in him. of course, this is before her death.

i think alhaitham would ultimately be content that his child got to meet the woman who raised him.

to think that she saw himself in them...

it brings him an odd sense of pride and comfort.

and as a little treat:

kaveh is kind of like another dad (or like a wine uncle LMAO) for them. do what you will with this information.

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

[justali-anne]

Thought Week: Asgore

Ooh, boy! Asgore, huh? It's really telling that a character with so little screen time compared to the others is much more popular than some of them. Well, better get into it.

(I'm sure you know the drill by now! If you have anything to say about Asgore, please reblog and write it down! I'd love to read them!)

First Impressions

The first time I think I heard of Asgore was in an Undertale playthrough? I can't exactly remember, but I definitely didn't see him in comic dubs because back then THERE WERE BARELY ANY WITH HIM IN IT! Jeebus! At least he's getting some focus now, but good gracious!

At first, I just saw him as a tragedy, but there wasn't really much for him to me. I guess I was busy hyperfixating on Papyrus because my early memories in the fandom with Asgore are just very blurry. He just wasn't really that interesting to me, I suppose. At least now, I figured it out, and now I'm like, "Oh, crap." He's just slightly more interesting to me now. Eh.

My Impressions Now

This poor man, honestly. He just wants his life back. His life got ruined by one stupid plan and one stupid decision that he made in a fit of rage over humans killing his kids. Which is honestly decently reasonable. Obviously, he wasn't reasonable in that moment, but if he could go back and do things differently, he would in a heartbeat. He's a kindhearted softie who put himself in a precarious position because of his grief. And that's just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Asgore's woes!

How about Toriel? This guy lost his only support system besides Gerson and when he finally sees her again, he just gets outright rejected, like DUDE! I'll cover my thoughts on her on Sunday, so I won't go into it right now, but poor Asgore, man! Having his wife around and helping each other through their grief would've been VERY beneficial to them! Could you imagine two vilomahs helping each other out and working together on human policies that could have benefitted everyone and helped them accept their loss? But then again, if it weren't for that, parts of the Undertale story wouldn't have happened, so I guess we're stuck with this timeline! Sorry, Flowey! You couldn't reset this one.

Oh, and it just keeps going! Remember Rudy? Asgore's "best friend" from a long time ago? I'm not talking about the Deltarune version, I'm talking about the Undertale version of Rudy that sadly passed away. At least from what I could tell, he lived a long and happy life, but it still hurts. Imagine being a boss monster. An IMMORTAL boss monster that stays the same age until you have a child. So for all that time Asgore didn't have a child, he had to watch as his "best friend" grew old and fell down.

GODDAMN IT, TOBY, COULD YOU GIVE THIS POOR MAN A BREAK??? Thank you.

The thing is, Asgore is by far the strongest monster in the Underground... besides Toriel (she was holding back). He's killed six humans and we all know how strong they are compared to monsters. Like no human soul was ever taken in the war, and he singlehandedly killed SIX of them. And we don't even know if all of them were actually kids or not, or if they were fighting back, or... Wait, the WAR!!! He was in the intro, wasn't he?!

Look, there he is! Unless that's his dad or something, which isn't actually a bad theory when you think about it.

GIVE. THIS MAN. A BREAK.

He can't even keep a marriage in Deltarune. Just make something go right for him, please.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah! The strongest monster in the underground! And by the time he fights you, he's spent. He doesn't want to go through with the war. That's why he's hiding. That's why he's holding back. I think we all know that by now. Dude was just waiting to take himself out of the picture, so to speak. It's understandable to be depressed when your life is nothing but tragedy after tragedy after tragedy. But let's move on to his actual personality.

Because Asgore... is a dork. He's just as dorky as the rest of the cast, and it's adorable! This big guy stumbles through life with the charming unawareness of modern things, like anime, ("What is an... anime?") and he's so clumsy he fell in a fishing hole during a game of ice hockey!

(Here is the original video)

He gives you tight hugs. He's a botany nerd. He dresses up as Santa for the locals. He is the QUINTESSENTIAL Gentle Giant. He just deserves better, that's all.

A King, Not A Deity

Conclusion

It's intriguing to me how literally the entirety of monsterkind treats him like he's gonna bring salvation to them like some god. As if it was a guarantee. Well, apart from Toriel, of course, but she knew him on a very deep level, so of course she's not gonna see him as some sort of "chosen one." And that's not even covering her disdain for him.

I get that Asgore is the monsters' only hope, though. That's a huge contributing factor in their deitification of him. And in turn, it just pressures Asgore to kill the humans even more, which sends him into an even bigger depression, but also, he doesn't want to call off the war so the monsters could still have hope. It's a vicious cycle!

No hate towards him, but I wish Asgore would grow a backbone sometimes. Just saying. You're the KING, man! Not a god! A KING. And the monsters are expecting you to become their god, but you don't want to! And... Gah, monster politics are complicated!

The Narrative

Despite his very little screen time, Asgore is one of the most important characters in the story. A kind king driven to despair after losing the thing he loves the most - his family. The reason the policy exists. The monster you're gonna have to kill in order to escape the underground.

It sort of sucks that he dies in every route besides the best one. Like, I get why that has to happen, but come on, man. He deserves better.

Honestly, Asgore? He's not the most remarkable character in the game to me. I wish he got more screen time, at least. The poor guy needs a freaking break from everything. It doesn't make him a bad character, in fact, he's a really well-written, intriguing one. He's just not my favourite.

But if there's anyone out there whose favourite character IS Asgore, please give a shout in the notes and tell me what you think of him! Is there anything I missed?

[wanderingaldecaldo]

2025 Writing Resolutions

I'm not usually one for resolutions but I've been kicking around the idea of having some writing goals after the post I shared last week, and came up with a few that are feasible:

Finish the first draft for one (or both!) of the stories I started last year in new-to-me fandoms

Edit and post the Presidential PWP

Finish the DA:I Blackwall fic that's been 95% complete for years

Daily 15min sprint

Some personal musings about writing (and reading) and WIPs under the cut.

Last fall I lost my Cyberpunk hyperfixation but, after three years of nonstop Val and Mitch (and Rosalind) through VP and modding, it's been a boon to my writing, and once more I'm reminded why I love hate one of my oldest hobbies. I really wish I could reassure my younger self that actually, no, I'll never run out of things to write.

Over my tumblr break, I rewatched the whole Daniel Craig Bond series, all because I really wanted to watch Skyfall, my fave of the entire franchise. Something new happened this time around as I watched the films — Judi Dench and Daniel Craig's chemistry gripped me by the throat and wouldn't let go.

I'm not generally one to visit AO3 (or ff.net back in the day) after consuming a piece of media; I could list out the ones that have on two hands, and still have several fingers left over, even with including the new ones mentioned here.

This time, I was lucky to have found a ship with a backlog of fics to work through. For weeks I read fics, and rewatched their scenes ad nauseam, ever thankful I'd bought the 4-disc set and wasn't reliant having the correct streaming service. Eventually inspiration struck and I started what I thought would be a oneshot. But where there's a WIP there's always more ideas lurking around the corner, and suddenly the oneshot developed into two chapters, with the second spinning quickly into a third.

Over the course of a two-week head cold that knocked out all writing aspirations, I binged all of Ted Lasso and became enamored with the characters and themes, but especially the relationship between Ted and Rebecca. As I watched, I didn't know the status of the show; in fact I had assumed season 4 was in the works. :sad trombone: No slow burn for me. After I finished it, I wanted to rewatch it immediately but decided not to; I wanted to sit with it first, to let it digest. I really didn't think I'd reach the AO3 stage — usually it's like the proverbial bolt of lightning that strikes quickly — but this time, appropriately, it was the friends-to-lovers trope that I adore.

Again, I was lucky to find a veritable treasure trove of fics. I wasn't the only one who wanted more of those two, and again, I found myself inspired with an idea that was two lines of dialog and half a scene held together with spit and twine, and since then it's spaghettied into —yes, you guessed it — three chapters.

Neither of them are anywhere close to being shitty first drafts; they're hand-scratched pages written over consecutive nights where I wrote seven sentences, or maybe seven words or even paragraphs, before nodding off over the notebook. The 00M fic has 2k words transcribed, and that's just the first half of the first chapter, while the rest is mostly vibes and smut, and now there's a fourth chapter, because of course there is. The tedbecca has less than a quarter of that, but it's at least all transcribed now.

Enter Cyberpunk 2.2 and remaking Val and falling in love with this stupid kleptopunk streetrat all over again. Glory shared a "what AO3 tag are you" quiz and I got "only one bed" and said it was ironic since I'd never written one, and she jokingly (???) challenged me to change that. Welp, friends, my brain couldn't stop poking at that and now I have an idea for a new fic featuring fan fave "only one bed" trope, and also a fix-it, another first. Usually I am content to leave canon as is and play within the margins and behind-the-scenes of what we're given, though maybe I will add my own touch to scenes; but I always felt that Driss's death was cheap and easy to avoid. Maybe if we'd been given an actual RPG with real choices, it could have been, but that's a topic for a different rant.

And with the reignited love for Cyberpunk, plus the desire to mark things off my to-do list, I opened the Presidential PWP tonight when I was going through my folders, and my god, it happened — I'd forgotten it! I read a few paragraphs and decided I need to save the reread for another night when I can read it uninterrupted and take fresh notes on it. Probably should recruit a beta, too.

Another very long standing to-do is the Blackwall fic. I started it in maybe 2015, and worked on it off-and-on for a couple of years alongside a ME Shakarian/Shaeed love triangle (don't at me), trading off between them as the hyperfixations switched back and forth. The Blackwall fic is a true oneshot and has been waiting on an ending for for 6+ years now. It's literally 95% done, and I fucking adore it so much, and just need to Write It, and get that draft out the door (and maybe to a beta? idk, we'll see).

So that gets to the last resolution — this is the one that I know I'll fail in that I won't do it daily; I will miss days. But it's an aspirational goal, and I know firsthand how beneficial writing daily is, even if I only get a few words out of it. It still gets the ol' compost bin in my brain going in the background, churning all those ideas and thoughts into more WIPs.

I've also been thinking about the why. Writing is one of my oldest hobbies, following reading and video games. Returning to the Cyberpunk setting runs the risk of me picking up VP and modding again, newer hobbies that offer faster and more immediate feedback from other fans; hobbies that I know will cut into both my desire to write and my free time. By writing out my... writing resolutions, it will be easier to remember my priorities for the year.

Rat asked about our writing accomplishments in 2024. I answered that I wrote four new characters in two new-to-me fandoms, and that I let myself move from projects as did my interest without guilt. Now, it feels freeing to have four fandoms and a dozen stories to choose between when I want to write, but I will say the color-coded notebooks are getting hard to keep track of.

[n1ghteeea]

The Real Ghostbusters’ future analysis

Do you guys ever think about how tragic the real ghostbusters’ lives went on to be after they dismantled the group. Cuz I do, maybe even more than necessary, and I’ll go over EACH of them in this post.

Ray

At first he worked in uni, which is okay, but ended up being fired and had to settle for selling old cars while grasping every opportunity to pay off his debt. Ray, the guy who is the most ‘in love with his job’ as stated countless times in the show, is SELLING CARS.

In the “Look Homeward, Ray” episode we see a similar situation with him quitting ghostbusting to work in retail and he was MISERABLE because he is obsessed with his work, I’d even went on to say it’s his hyperfixation with how he forgets about everything at times, including time and other tasks he has (from one ADHD guy to another). And that man is selling old cars. Jesus.

Peter

He went on to Hollywood to sell the idea for the second Ghostbusters movie and has been doing that for SIX YEARS. Six years he was out in LA trying to push it through. To do that you need connections, and I’d imagine that making them is not easy, not even talking about how you need money to survive, and since he never said anything about his job, it is probably like super lame. Again, he LOVED ghostbusting and didn’t want to trade it even for a life of stage and fame (“Banshee Bake a Cherry Pie?”).

In “Take Two” episode we saw that he does not get along with Hollywood people, he has too strong of a moral compass and principles, so I can only imagine how those six years where he NEEDED to interact with them constantly went.

And finally, his father. He has a difficult relationship with him, but it’s easy to see that while he still cares for him, he hates how Jim makes money and would rather die then help him in his ‘projects’. Well guess what. His dad also went on to Hollywood to sell a movie about Ghostbusters. A movie no one clearly wanted, similarly to Peter’s (cuz I believe if his idea was a banger he wouldn’t have spent 6 years pushing it through), so at the end of the day he became like his dad, which is absolutely the worst nightmare of every person with bad parents.

Winston

I would say that Winston is relatively better off than others. He got his pilot’s license and went on to travel, which is cool as hell. However, Winston was the glue of the group. He was always the one saying “we’re a team, we need to stick together no matter what”, which can be seen in maaany eps, the most prominent one is probably “Ghostbuster of The Year”.

And he needed to watch them all drift apart, unable to do anything, and going non-contact because in “Back in The Saddle” they were catching up as if they never talked since they parted ways. That’s wild.

Egon

Last but not least 💪 technically you could say that he doesn’t have it that bad. He still lives in the firehouse, he works as a prof of his own course, right? WRONG ‼️

In the comics that are arguably canon, but logically still make sense, Egon get transported into an empty dimension where everything is normal, except he’s all alone. And this is what he thinks of that.

Bro hates being alone. He needs his friends around even if he doesn’t usually show it. This was his nightmare situation and he lived to experience it in real life. For six years.

When it comes to teaching, cool, but he’s a scientist, not a professor. He was excited and interested in experimenting and discovering, not teaching. Additionally, no one takes his course seriously, he has an average of 3 student per semester, and even they are only there for an easy A. That is depressing.

His life does get better after he creates Extreme Ghostbusters: he’s no longer alone, he’s (kinda) doing what he used to, but even then he still struggles with his self-image and midlife crisis, poor guy :(

Overall

These guys are the epitome of ‘frequently bought together, do not separate’, they cannot be without each other.

In “Look Homeward, Ray” Ray leaves the group thinking he’s not good enough and they do EVERYTHING in their power to bring him back.

In “Cry Uncle” Egon’s uncle Cyrus (god I hate that guy) takes Egon away to help him in his lab and the whole team is at first miserable (sitting around the phone waiting for him to call) and then makes 1500 miles one way to ask him to come back.

In “Egon’s Ghost” even though it’s not the only instance, when Egon gets sucked into limbo they go in for him with a condition of ‘either we get him back in an hour or we all stay here’ like THESE GUYS ARE A FAMILY. I did not see this kind of relationship in the live action movie, but in the show? They aren’t just colleague or buddies, that’s a FAMILY.

Even the fact of separating itself is heartbreaking, and accounting for the fact that neither of them went on to do something exciting (except maybe Winston) it is absolutely devastating. Man.

Even in “Back In The Saddle” they get one (1) successful bust and go ‘hell yeah guys, let’s go back to being Ghostbusters, I think we dropped it off way too early’ like yeah, I’m sure that’s what people with their lives together would say.

TLDR: the old men yaoi angst in the real ghostbusters is real 🎉

[glitterypin]

2024 Tumblr Top 10 (with comments by the author!)

1. 18,245 notes - Jun 24 2024 - “The Doctor In A Nutshell”: This must be my second most popular post in all the years I’ve been on Tumblr (the first one is the “David Bowie flipping a tray of cookies” screenshots from The Man Who Fell To Earth, a set of two images that made me laugh so hard for days on end some nine years ago). I don’t know why it blew up so much, tbh, especially when I see gifsets gaining a lot less attention. It baffled me but I guess tastes have changed a bit.

2. 7,234 notes - Jul 15 2024 - “The Daddy Twelve post” - A hilarious scene to which these screenshots don’t really do justice. I generally assume it’s me calling him “daddy Twelve” that got people to chuckle at this set.

3. 4,003 notes - Aug 17 2024 “The other ‘Daddy Twelve’ post” - Why waste a good idea? I still call him that in my head sometimes.

4. 2,238 notes - Oct 11 2024 - “Thirteen channels her inner Nine/Twelve” - I’ve had people in the notes commenting that this isn’t rare at all but I beg to disagree. I do believe Thirteen is much ruder and grumpier than Ten or Eleven and possibly actually angrier than Nine and Twelve but this level of snarky insult isn’t her usual mojo in my opinion. I will acquiesce that this isn’t the only instance of it, though, I’m sure it happened at least 3 or 4 more times in her run.

5. 2,071 notes - Oct 16 2024 - “Bananas Doctor Who Credits” - After posting this I noticed I had left the subtitles on, granting all screenshots a single note at the bottom, indicating the DW title theme was playing. This annoyed me but it was already getting notes, so I never got around to replacing them. I was also actually surprised it got so many notes, I thought it would be one of those things that only I found so hilarious, glad to see it wasn’t the case.

6. 868 notes - Aug 25 2024 - “The Doctor stomps on my heart” - Oh, this is actually the only post on the list that I was surprised didn’t do better. Not in a vain “give me notes” kind of way but rather in genuine curiosity. This is one of the most heartbreaking moments of foreshadowing for me in the show, it gives me so many feelings and also Twelve is so fucking pretty and sad in it, I totally expected more people to reblog this.

7. 690 notes - Jun 26 2024 - “mood” - Classic snarky Twelve, adding an insane amount of drama to what could have been a simple line. Peak comedy, peak relatability.

8. 567 notes - Sep 11 2024 - “Peter Capaldi behind the scenes of Twice Upon A Time, looking fucking AMAZING” Oh look! It’s a post that isn’t just screenshots from an episode! But it’s a good collection and our boy Peter is crazy beautiful so of course it did well. God, I love him.

9. 488 notes - Sep 25 2024 - “Twelve and Clara comedic duo” - A moment I had forgotten about and only spotted during a rewatch. I don’t think Twelve and Clara get enough credit as a comedy double act in the collective whovian subconscious. I do maintain that Ten and Donna are the most hilarious duo in the whole NuWho era but little moments like this put Twelve and Clara firmly in the second spot. (Again, the screenshots don’t really do the scene justice but you get my drift.)

10. 478 notes - Aug 2 2024 - “Twelve takes no survivors” This is an entire scene of hilarity which is super difficult to capture properly in screenshots because there is a lot of dialogue so the posts got long and also you can’t really capture the perfect timing of the deliveries and the editing. But I love it, so I wanted to put it on my blog somehow. I finally started liking Clara during this exact scene, because faced with the Doctor’s new face and brutal honesty she can no longer keep up the façade of the little miss perfect we’d seen on Eleven’s side. Flaws and anger, FINALLY. 

Created by TumblrTop10

So, yeah, this is the year when I finally watched Doctor Who and this, along with my particular hyperfixation on Peter Capaldi, made me the most popular I’ve ever been on Tumblr, probably. Amazing what being unable to shut up about something you love will turn you into.

[waxdream]

I think in this world, acknowledged and unacknowledged traumas are a key way of dividing us. Someone with a debilitating fear of spiders for example, is going to be dismissed as childish by at least a portion of society, even if their phobia forces them to stay inside, hyperfixated on erradicating all spiders in their space. And yknow, that person may not be depressed, they may not have anything else other than their phobia, but their phobia is disabling. And they go online and see people validating those with disabling depression, and I just think that when something engulfs your life so largely, it's hard not to take that as 'the world doesn't care about my phobia. They just care about depression'.

I've battled with this feeling a lot thoughout my life. I've thought 'noone cares about adoptees', and I just didn't understand why. I remember my school doing an assembly on Autism, and all I could think of was 'well, there's more adopted people than there are autistic people, why aren't we doing that assembly?!' . I tried to make that assembly happen, and was told no because the school had an adoptee who didn't know they were an adoptee. Fucking disgusting behaviour, imo, limiting the education of an entire school because some adoptive parents didn't want to have an uncomfortable conversation. I could have done some good there, I could have taught people what the school refused to teach. The only mention I ever heard of adoption in that school was in health class, where they said 'some people in the UK choose to put their children up for adoption. This is very uncommon'. I felt gross hearing that. That school spent hour long lessons on how to clean your teeth, yet can't even acknowledge that adoptees grow up and sit in your classroom.

It's a kind of outrage you feel, like you're being snubbed in favour of another cause. It's jealousy - I know I feel jealous of people with traumas that are talked about, and I'm not ashamed to admit that. Jealousy is only ugly when you act on it. Feeling it means you're human. But in the real world, I gotta know that it's not the fault of other communities, it's noone's fault other than a society that likes to sweep adoption under the rug.

Recently I feel like the transracial adoptee movement has hit the mainstream, and I see people talking about it as if interracial adoptees don't exist. So I'm going to say that I think being adopted by someone who is the same race as you is an unacknowledged trauma. I think people dismiss our adoptions and pretend we look like our adoptive families. I think our adoptive families get away with pretending we are birth children, which lets our history fester in it's wake. I think not being told about our adoptions is a disgusting thing, and it happens because adoptive parents think 'oh, we can get away with not telling our kid they're adopted, they won't guess otherwise'. I think that even adoptees who aren't told about their adoption are adoptees, and I know they feel the same level of pain as I do. I think interracial adoptees are commercialised and objectified.

I think 'matching a child to the adoptive parent' is not always in the childs best interest. I was put in fostercare at 2 weeks old, and I stayed in it for 2 years because the UK system didn't want my foster carers to adopt me. They wanted to 'match' me to someone else. My parents were considered too old, this being part of the same ruleset that prevented transracial adoption in the UK in the early 2000s. I was desireable as a newborn. People want to adopt newborns. I think if they succeeded in taking me away from my adoptive parents, I would have been trapped in the fostercare system - two year olds are less desireable after all. I have trauma from feeling objectified because of this knowledge. I think anyone would, if they know money was spent, lots of money in court fees and all that, to take me specifically away from my family. And that's a trauma created by the idea that 'every adoption should be a perfect match'. That's why I think the adoptee community needs to come together as adoptees and be a group of it's own, because otherwise we create an artificial divide of people. I think 'adoption should be a perfect match' as an ideology is unrealistic. Sometimes it's just as important that a baby stay with their first match for example, to prevent further trauma. The UK adoption system almost bankrupted a working class family of fostercarers because they felt that it was more important for my adoptive parents to be a young, rich couple. A family of fostercarers who dared to do exactly what a fostercarers is meant to do - love their child unconditionally, to the point that they wanted to stop fostercaring and adopt me. And even though my folks are older, and don't understand autism or any of the stuff that makes me different from them, I still think this is the perfect place for me.

So yknow, I have different experiences to a transracial adoptee. I think mine are less blatantly obvious, because racism is pervasive in this world and disgusting. It makes sense to me why the plight of transracial adoptees is so loud and important. Hell, even your word is being stolen by the 'trans race' community that's trying to essentially cosplay as other races. I also think the adoptee community should be more united - and we should listen to each other, and work as a team. Because Jealousy is a human emotion, I think we're all projecting and feeling jealous of each other, when in reality, we're all jealous of folks who aren't adopted. And that's okay friend. Jealousy is okay. Taking actions based on jealousy isn't, but the feeling? It's okay. I'm jealous of folks who have something they can point to and say 'that's the root of all my problems', because I don't think I have that. Doesn't mean I'm gonna be a dick about it, and it also doesn't mean my feelings reflect reality. Just like how the idealised idea of interracial adoption doesn't reflect reality. It's two different sides of the same coin, like many things in the adoption world. I think the true path to change is changing the views and mentality of those who aren't adopted. Because they just. Don't. Get. It.

[prettyboybuckley]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

tagged by @saybiwithme @bi-buckrights @zainclaw

How many works do you have on ao3?

160

What's your total ao3 word count?

1,070,239

What fandoms do you write for?

I've mostly written for 9-1-1, though I started off with Shameless (6 fics) and I have written some for Teen Wolf (5 fics). There's one 9-1-1 crossover with Schitt's Creek.

Top five fics by kudos:

parents always yelling (telling us to get our acts together)

i just want something to hold on to (and a little of that human touch)

I will come to you (even in my sleep)

open up again (i believe in second chances)

exes and the oh's

Do you respond to comments?

Always, even if it takes me months. I actually just caught up again (there's still a bunch to go, but right now the oldest is 17 days ago instead of 250 days...). It's just a rule I have for myself, and even with the backlog I've kept it up so far, so I'm not going to stop doing it now.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm not a big fan of angsty endings, I generally try to at least make it a hopeful ending or, in the case of the college au, use an epilogue to fix things.

But I guess sunny skies & summer highs qualifies as an angsty ending simply because of the cliffhanger (and yes, there is still going to be a continuation, I'm working on it 🙈).

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Choosing one out of 160 is really hard, but I think tell me, will you stay or will you run away is definitely one that deserves a mention here, because it already has a happy ending and then the epilogue just makes it even better 🥰

Do you get hate on fics?

Not commented on the fic itself, no. I've had some people talk shit about my fics on twitter, though, and not even vaguely but calling me by (user)name.

Do you write smut?

Is grass green? Yeah, I write smut 🤭 Thanks to two times kinktober, I have 95 explicit fics, by far the most used rating for my fics.

Craziest crossover:

let's have some fun tonight is my 9-1-1/Schitt's Creek crossover fic for 9-1-1 Rarepair Week, and my only crossover fic

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

My head over feet Buddie valentine's two-parter got posted as one chapter in Wattpad work with over 30 fics once. Filed a DMCA and Wattpad took it down within two hours.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Two of my fics have been translated into Russian afaik, one on ao3 and one on Ficbook

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Nope. It may be a nice challenge for the future? Not sure who I'd do it with.

All time favourite ship?

Gotta go for Buddie on that one, lol. Especially if you look at my writing history. But I often tend to hyperfixate on one ship at a time (current reading obsession is McDanno)

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Buck's POV of if love is art then you might be my masterpiece. I really want to, but at this point it's been two years since the original so I don't know if it'd be worth it either. (I know not everyone was happy about how I ended it, but I doubt any of them are still waiting for more). Writing a different POV of the same fic takes an amount of planning that my brain just really struggles with. And I could pick up where the last chapter (before the epilogue) picks up, but I think that way there would be some crucial information about Buck missing.

What are your writing strengths?

I've been told quite a lot of times that I am good at keeping characters, well, in character, even when putting them in partial or complete AU's. Of course, what is in character or not is subjective, but I do always challenge myself to work as much of the canon backstory and personality into who they are in the AU as possible.

And I like to think I'm pretty good at writing smut.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm terrible at pacing, which multiple of my long fics prove. It'll be drawn out first and then suddenly rushing. And being ESL I do struggle with things like sentence structure and grammar pretty regularly still.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

As long as there is some kind of translation provided somewhere I like it, but I'm not so quick to use it myself. Not beyond a few Spanish words here and there (generally pet names between Eddie and his family we've seen on the show or the occasional curse word when I feel it fits better than an English one, but I usually need to employ help from Spanish-speaking friends for those).

First fandom you wrote in?

Shameless! I binged that right before I started 9-1-1 and combined with the creative writing minor I was doing, it was actually what got me back into writing in general and what made me write my first ever fic.

Favorite fic you've written?

My in your arms i feel safe-series (which I always lovingly refer to as the ace kink fic) is definitely one of my favorites simply because of how personal it is to me and for the reason behind me writing it in the first place.

Other strong contenders are i would've loved you forever (it's never enough but i wanted it to be) and i'm begging you, come home to me (Teen Wolf, Thiam)

tagging @monsterrae1 @rogerzsteven @loserdiaz @watchyourbuck

[nonpositiveartist]

haiihai there. leanne has been a fixation of mine since about 2022, her & gears having been my main hyperfixation/special interest since then aswell and ive written a lot about her specifically and i love seeing ur art with her in them !! truly your art is amazing, im so glad u mentioned that ur blog is a safe space for people who think his past has a lot to do with his character & wants to yap about it LOL

do u have any headcanons for it aswell ?? i really like hearing people’s thoughts on his character prior to the foundation !! thank u sm for posting ur art on here it’s truly wonderful 🫶🫶

I am ashamed to say that it's only recent days that I have started developing an obsession over Gears' past in connection to Leanne so right now I don't have a thing as stable as "headcanons", but instead I have items just as interesting to observe.

These are questions. Like yeah, when I attempt to make a headcanon for a character it seems to me not as "what would I like for this character to be", but "what would my answers to questions related to their story be", because I just need some kind of founding ground for my statements or something like that right?

Either case it's probably going to be a long ramble so beware.

Question 1. How in hell that family ever ended up to be?

What I mean is: was China as a country ever literally involved in their relations' beginning? Did Leanne's family already lived in US/UK/ wherever you imagine Gears spending his pre-Foundation days (some fan-wikis claim he's American but some like to hc him as British or other European, like German so idk what is your option there), or was it Gears actually having some kind of work/tourist/other kind of trip to China, where he ended up meeting Leanne and the two fell in love with each other?

If for my current answer to this. Considering Charles'... "better say 'absent' than 'present" knowledge of Chinese, I doubt it really was a "work trip". It could of been some kind of Foundation business, you say, but I doubt Gears had anything in connection to Foundation (apart from his father) before Alison was born, see later why.

Also I guess it doesn't matter as much of where they met, but the fact that Leanne despite everything managed to keep her home's culture and language with her, and bypass some of it onto her and Gears' daughter. Because, yeah, I fancy Leanne still keeping in to some of the Chinese traditions. It'd be interesting to see how that could affect their marriage' routine and all such, y'know?

Question 2. At what point did it begin to fall apart?

Firstly let me state on one important thing here. The most ideas about Gears' past and his family specifically are influenced by no other tale but Work Journal by Dr. Gears, which is a continuation of his very Splinters, and thematically it is an attempt of grown-up Alison to investigate just how had her father gone missing, leaving her mother mourning to death and herself helplessly watching that.

So the most important headcanon that I have already settled in stone from said series: Gears used to be a university professor. Not only because hey that's some nice fitting aesthetic for younger him, but also because the plot needs him to be somehow involved with public organizations to be noticed by the Foundation folks, right? Although, let's be fair there.... If Gears wouldn't keep going upturning and looking under the wrong stones and thinking about all those abnormalous incidents (a hecking storeroom filled with boxes of newspapers to be found later by Alison, darnit!), good chances are he would remain with his family for good deal of years. But no, of course, should of noticed Pathos Crow Proffesor Kanin's works and reach out to him for sake of collectivial conspiracy. And I believe that at the moment Gears wrote to Kanin, the latter one was already somehow involved in Foundation's business. Maybe he was that your kind of bait agent used for recruiting, really. Considering that the series of tales that goes in dimension parallel to Work Journals, one where Alison actually wraps her guts together and becomes Black Queen, it is directly mentioned that there had been a critical period in Foundation's history when they had to basically kidnap a good crowd of people because of the emergency lack of staff, it does seem fair to me.

But yeah, what I think is that Charles became able to spend his time (up to daily overworkings even when at home, which is highlighted in Work Journals, Alison calling her father something in the sorts of "overly enthusiastic, slightly possessed (can not remember the exact wording of it but the impression it left was this I swear)" person) only when he had put some serious roots at his workplace, both physically as that university he used to work and give lectures at, and mentally as in that field of research. When the income became stable, when his daughter grew up a lil bit so he'd have less worries on a daily basis, all that.

Plus of all Alison remembers that in her childhood Gears yet kept relations with his university pals, and it was in her presence that the arguments of "you're fucking paranoic, Gears!" began to unravel.

Also I wanna say that this whole period of Gears' attempts to create a conspiracy investigation heavily remind me of the first episodes of 3 Body Problem (the chinese one series, year 2023), which are based on the novel but whatever. Long story short: nearly all researchers of theoretical physics in the world had gotten involved into some mythic conspiracies and kept committing suicides, leaving no traces behind but notes of "physics does not exist". And so that claim of "physics does not exist" somehow feels to me like a phrase that could of gotten into Gears' head at some moment. ESPECIALLY considering that in the other tale (can't remember rn, sorry), he had decided to warn Alison away from her science career after she had published an article involving some kind of grand physics problem (dark matter, was it?). It just matches up too perfectly and I just can't- kasdlkaldkas-

Question 3. Oh dear did she knew?

Yeah. To what extent of attempts did Leanne go to just get hecking informed on why does her husband locks himself up in studies for three days in a row, or why out of sudden all his university colleagues had started calling him a psycho, or why in generally had Gears started to act so paranoid?

If there is anything I solidly think of their relationships right now, which are very few of things, is that the most of mental comfort in that family was going from Leanne, at least in these, later phases when everything was ruining apart. Remember her condition getting all worse and worse after her husband was gone, Alison directly claiming it's because "she couldn't take it anymore"? Leanne seems to me as a person too empathetic to just stay aside when her loved one proceeds destroying himself like this. And somehow I feel, that to a certain extent she actually did knew what was going on. Maybe it didn't go as far as Alison's research, finding out all those storerooms and letters to other researchers, but some kind of observations surely were done I think.

Also, sometimes I like to imagine this one outcome, which does sound rather OOC or canon-rules breaking in general, but still..

Why are senior researchers are not allowed to have vacations among normal people, in what I call to be the Outside? And, in the worst cases - left to their quarters or the closest town to their Site, in the best (or mentally worst for said employee) - sent out to some kind of touristic-place kind of reservation in Foundation's ownership?

(just in case: this whole pararaph above is heavily inspired by Stephen King's Firestarter and this whole plot about Maui's campground. Actually the whole novel works as a good reference for Foundation's inner business, as well as for humanoid SCPs' struggles, it is fine recommendation from me here)

Because senior researchers know too much and are too known to actually get targeted by other GOIs the moment they leave Foundation's territory. As for the juniour folk, well... who cares? One man more, one man less... as long as he's a no one, no one does really.

So yeah, imagine one year away from Gears' date of disappearence. Alison's away at summer camp, Leanne has to overclock on her job to keep things stable. And one day, she comes back home — and there is that idiot just sitting at the table with expression of both "ha, surprised you" and "hey, we need to talk". Not yet an apathetic brickwall of a human, but already someone rather different both from the jovial man he was before his "investigation" and from that paranoic he became as a result of it. And so he does his best in avoiding mentioning Foundation directly but still walking around that "government's conspiracy doesn't allow me here anymore" concept, trying to give Leanne the idea that it's better for all three of them if things go like this and he is gone. That he still cares, but can not do it any other way because of all of the mistakes he had done, the major one deciding to go into this paranomral field of research in the first place. That whatever happens to him Leanne shall not be worried about anymore and well you get it, angst. Yet, before Gears leaves at the end of the night, the two agree: Alison shall not know about any of that. It is easier to believe that your father is just a mentally fucked up asshole who went out for milk and ditched both women who cared about him rather than "my papa's gotten enslaved by above-government forces for sake of keeping the world safe from Chtulhu-like species!".

And so Leanne had kept it away from Alison. She knew her husband is alive and is probably that or so okay there, but it doesn't make the weight of longing any easier, right? So she had withered away eventually, leaving their daughter alone to deal with this entire mess.

This, of course, is a rather unbelievable scenario. Good chances are Leanne really never knew the details of what have happened. She sure did not consider her husband to be an asshole for his leaving, as she suspected it to be somehow connected to his paranoic behaviour and all his research work in general. It's just that the idea of Gears' indecisiveness about burning all of the bridges behind him that bothers me a lot these days. Even as he became that apathetic lad we know him as, he still had kept some of the empathy for humanity as a whole and certain people in particular right? So in his earlier Foundation years it should of been even more intense.

Question 4. How's it on the other side?

What I mean here is — we never really know how heavily Gears ever repented leaving his family behind, if he was ever doing that. In Epitaph it is claimed that he carries no personal possessions (like photos) on himself nor leaves them in his office anywhere. If there'd be a ring, Iceberg would sure mention that. And sure, Gears could of taken it off to actually avoid questions from his colleagues (which is justified, considering how Iceberg mentioned scooping around the man's drawers in that same tale). Yet, we don't know how many years have been there between Gears' recruitment and Iceberg's beginning under Gears' chiefery. Ten, twenty, more? So to say that Gears did not mourn whatsoever is just as foolish to say that he still does mourn for all that happy life he have lost in the present.

My idea here is simple: he did regret, he did blame himself, but in the most of timelines at the present moment (since Epitaph and later, as it's the one tale where we are introduced to Gears as he is nowadays) he had buried it within and it is more of a scar that probably, yes, aches sometimes but deserves no crying about. At least in his own perspective, as that of a person who already experiences significant troubles about feelings and "I know what I should do with them but I simply can't".

And now I think it have already gotten extensive enough to make sure that no more than 2 people will ever read it down to this point, so here I finish for now. I still need to actually think thoroughly about Gears' pre-Foundation times because now it is all too raw to really be taken seriously.

[toxicopolis]

I know you don’t say you are nonhuman as a roleplay but is it for fun or another reason?

It’s not “for fun”, but that doesn’t mean I am opposed to having fun with it. I definitely didn’t wake up and decide to call myself non-human for no reason. It’s less about the label itself, but keep in mind that I’m answering as myself here and not on behalf of anyone else who may describe themselves similarly.

I grew up feeling very isolated from humanity. I was born intersex, and I was diagnosed as an infant. I never had surgery, and I was preeetty much told that my body was wrong and a contradiction to the only two subspecies of human (perisex cis male and perisex cis female) that exist. I grew up in the 2000s and didn’t know of anyone else who was intersex… or even trans or non-binary. I typically don’t like it when people group intersexuality in with anything else too much (such as being transgender), but at least seeing that there were other existing variations of the the binary I thought everyone except me fit into perfectly in the exact same way without any problems, it could have helped in some way. Alas, that was never my experience.

I did see some fictional characters who seemed to lack a biological sex in the traditional sense, but they were never human. I often found that they looked and were more interesting than the real people I knew, and I wished I looked less like those people and more like… some sort of different creature that would have been subject to different expectations.

I remember being distressed that I looked “too human” at a young age. It was the furthest thing from fun, and it’s not anything I would have ever chosen to feel. I also had undiagnosed ADHD growing up which lead me to hyperfixate on related topics such as body modification. It also made it harder for me to behave in the way I was “supposed to” and, again, made me feel different to everyone else.

I’m not sure if it was because of this, a case of me being born with some sort of structural brain abnormality, or a mixture of both, but I do, as an adult, have notable deficits in particular areas of the brain. I think differently than others, and I lack certain traits that are considered part of one’s “humanity”. It can be harder to understand others when you can’t relate to them.

All of this said, I was never bullied. There was no clear “bad person” to blame for my feelings of isolation. After all, I had people to talk casually to, and I was even quite “popular” at some stages in my life. It just felt like I was the problem.

The only choice I made was that I didn’t need people. I can still be my own something even if it never felt exactly accurate to say I was my own person. I’d rather be my own thing entirely, preferably with glowing eyes or something like that, than be the kind of bitch to wallow in misery. I see the non-human label as a way to reclaim the alienation, and I sometimes compare myself to existing non-human entities, such as vampires or demons, as a form of self-expression. That’s the fun part, I guess.

I’m not acting inauthentically, and I’m not looking in the mirror and seeing something that isn’t there. I am just simply myself, and I define who I am on my own terms in my own way.

I also reclaim being villainous or evil in a light-hearted manner due to my feelings of isolation from society and the way I was treated as different in an inherently negative way due to my neurodivergence and status as being mentally “ill”.

Please note that I’m not saying that being intersex, neurodivergent, or mentally ill makes you inherently less human or “wrong” in any way. I’m simply saying that my experiences due to those aspects of my identity influenced me in this way.

[writing-for-life]

Sandman Master Post and Intro

Hi, I’m so glad you’re here! This started out as a small writing blog but has developed a horrifying (^jk) life of its own over the past two years, so it was about time I just faced the facts:

A Sandman Blog it is!

I organised the links and tags to all my Sandman stuff for you to make it easier to find your way around.

I love getting asks, about analysis, about my fics, prompts or generally just to chat, so see this as an encouragement to slide into my inbox…

[For quick reference:]

[The Ultimate Sandman Character Tag Library]

[The Women of the Sandman Tag Library]

[Sandman Comics: Original Artists Library]

[Sandman Reread (Comics)]

[Sandman Rewatch (Netflix)]

[Sandman S2 News, Casting and Speculation]

[Sandman Reference: How to Collect the Comics, Companion Books, Annotations/Reference Literature etc]

[Sandman Movie Concept Art by Jill Thompson & John Watkiss]

[In Light of Recent Allegations]

Ordered by topics (recommended):

Sandman Meta-Analysis: My literary/conceptual/psychological analyses. I have also written some musical and art metas. You will find further links via all three.

The Sandman Book Club Community: Just follow the link if you’d like to join.

Sandman Fics & Poems: My own work, mostly m/f and f/f canon pairings and OCs, both long fics and shorter works.

I’m also Dream’s Therapist. I think we all agree he needs one.

Sandman Art (general tag that contains all art posts, from fan-art to gif-sets. Separate tag for official Sandman artists. Plus the very few pieces of my own art I’ve ever posted on here).

Sandman March Mania was an event we specifically ran for the comics art lovers, so check it out.

Sparkle Content Curation (a not-quite-serious collection of Dream/Morpheus thirst-trap fan-art and unhinged posts). Please also peruse the tags #contraceptive sparkles, #glitter herpes and #murphy and his cool hat (yes, I am sort of responsible for the #muhulhu tag on here) if this hell-site has left you in a state of being desperate for laughs

A Little Intro…

…and why this blog will keep on existing

Once there was a girl with so many words, so many images, so many songs in her head that had no place to go. So she decided some of them will just go here…

Well, that sounds a bit contrived, but it’s not entirely untrue. Apart from the “girl”-part, because I’m at the younger end of Gen X. Or the “no place to go”-part, because some of my work actually *did* go places. Just not the stuff I decided to put on here…

Which is mostly Sandman stuff right now, let’s be honest (I fell in love with it when I was 16, and it still has a tight grip on me three decades later). And the fact that my blog a wild mix between my metas, my fanfic and a bit of my doodling already shows the pull in different directions I have experienced for most of my life:

I guess I’m just a multi-hyphenate who can’t make up her mind what she wants to do with her life, so she tries to do it all and ends up burned out half of the time.

Somewhere along the way, I managed to publish a few novels under a pen name, and only a select few people know about it. And I intend to keep it that way.

I used to draw much more (mostly pencil and ink), but between working and having a family, something had to give, and if I have to choose, writing always comes first. But I doodle and experiment a lot in Procreate, and it usually helps me when I procrastinate on my writing. I drop the odd drawing in here (like my profile pic), but I don’t see myself as a fine artist, and I’m in perpetual awe of the talent I see on here.

This is just an account for unapologetically being me, with all my hyperfixations—and undoubtedly some pointless shitposts just for fun…

In light of recent happenings, I explained my personal stance and, by extension, why this blog will keep on existing.

[jelly-of-many-ships]

Intersting experience in math class:

I was doing some work while listening to the good omens soundtrack because it helps me focus and I love remembering which scene each track is from. Anyway, David Arnold (the composer) also composed most of the music for BBC Sherlock, which I don’t think too many people know (He’s amazing and I love literally everything he makes). And so when I finished the good omens album it started playing other music by the artist, which in this case, happened to be the BBC Sherlock intro.

I have not heard that song in almost a year in a half. BBC Sherlock was like a canon event for me, it was the first real fandom I joined and it introduced me to tumblr, fanfiction, and literally every concept associated with fandoms. Most pieces media Ive consumed, and definitely every fandom i’ve joined since then has been in some way because of tumblr, or other fandom spaces. Even good omens, which I am currently hyperfixating on to a frankly concerning extent, I was only introduced to via the domino effect of BBC Sherlock.

Why is this important? idk...backstory I guess? whatever, anyways, after awhile a fell more and more out of interest with Sherlock, and while I’d definitely still consider myself in the fandom, I’m just not really that into it anymore, especially since the rest of the fandom isn’t very active either. The year when my interest was the strongest was a very interesting time. I was really insecure and not very happy, but I had some amazing people in my life who I really miss. These two things, I think, are possibly the worst combination to have in terms of nostalgia, and I find that experiencing things that remind me of this period feels very strange. For example I physically cannot listen to some of the songs I added to my playlist around this time without getting really emotional, but I refuse to delete them because they really do feel like a part of me. From time to time I do remember the bad things and maybe feel a bit upset, and yet if I could go back, I know I would, just to remember what it was like to experience it all.

I don’t think I could ever fully explain it but BBC Sherlock genuinely felt like opening a very weird portal, and so when in the middle of math class, immediately after listening to the good omens track “the end?” and vividly imagining the end credit scene of season two, the Sherlock intro started playing, I felt such a strange mix of awe and nostalgia that I almost started crying. It sounds pretty stupid typing this up, but it was such a unique experience, and I don’t think I can really explain it. Good Omens is the only thing I’ve been even somewhat interested in to the extend of Sherlock, and after listening to possibly the most depressing song of the entire show, to have such a sharp reminder of who I used to be blast full volume into my head felt like diving headfirst into cold water. It really does sound stupid, but in that exact moment I remembered everything; the evening I heard that song for the first time, staying up for hours scrolling through pinterest and discovering the fandom, the first day I told my friends about it, the day i read my first fanfic, the day I was so convinced they were gay I accidentally discovered shipping (lol), the night I finished season 4, alone, at 2am, the day I joined tumblr, the week I learned how to play “the game is on” on piano, and the lunch period I wrote my first fic after daydreaming about it for weeks.

These things probably seem pretty mundane, but this was like a new world to me. They represent more than just discovering I new interest though. They’re some of the only memories I have of that time. I cut my hair, I realized I was queer, and for the first time in my entire life I had an actual friendgroup, one that I still care about so much. Life was, at the same time horrible, yet the best it had ever been, and I didn’t even know it. When I really think about It, I realize in actuality how little time has really passed, but everything feels so different. I think to myself that there’s no way that person was me, that the kid who had so much energy and enthusiasm for life, poetry and writing and had yet never felt so insecure couldn’t have possibly turned into the burnt out, powerless person I feel I am today.

At least I’m not so insecure anymore? I’m not so sure what to say. All I know, is I think that moment in math class made me realize how much I’ve grown, how much I appreciate those experience I got to have, and how much that song will always mean to me.