#i often think this phrase but this may be the only time i've put it in writing so i appreciate the callout

[whetstonefires]

#this is a really good post #but also. I’m obsessed w the casual use of the phrase ‘Wei Wuxian piths himself’ #what a description (via @morethanwonderful)

thank you! and yeah i. ever since i generated that description i have not been able to unthink it. there is i believe no more efficient, correct descriptor of what he did in the English language, and yet what a fucking thing to say.

jiang cheng is a funny character because i fully support either liking him or not liking him, but i see so many takes (especially when he shows up in a supporting role in fic) that seem completely unhinged until i pin down which of what i consider the fundamental facts of his character are just not being applied at all.

it’s like:

1) this is not a mentally well guy, especially after Plot starts happening, and he spends the entire story getting less okay. the only time we ever see any improvement happen in jiang cheng is when wei wuxian piths himself getting the guy out of his suicidal phase, causing many more problems going forward but fixing that one. jiang cheng is not okay and it’s all downhill.

2) he cares so fucking much. like you can write a jiang cheng who is a deeply selfish bastard and you have an excellent textual basis, but it’s not because he doesn’t care about other people, at least the ones that are his; that’s a different kind of problem than the one he has.

he would in fact be less of a problem a lot of the time if he cared less, because he does not have the emotional management tools to be useful about it. also the narrative is conspiring against him but like.

(there are a lot of ways to be selfish and jiang cheng and lan wangji are actually remarkably similar in the basic type of selfish impulses they have. they just have very different childhoods and values shaping how they act about it. and then lan wangji manages to become a mostly functional adult, while jiang cheng is generously an electrified pile of bad coping mechanisms. he’s functioning! but like. at what cost.)

3) jiang cheng is dutiful. even the most selfish jiang cheng is someone who perceives and values himself in terms of his function and obligation; he and wei wuxian have different personalities and worldviews, and for that matter expectations placed on them, but they both learned that lesson, presumably together.

4) sort of an extension of 1 and to a lesser extent 2, Jiang Cheng is emotionally insecure as a base state. his parents made some major errors, at least half of which should have been avoidable except they would have had to deal with their own shit first.

it’s not out of the question, in a different lifetime where he didn’t get several years of compounded irresolvable traumas as his coming-of-age present and then left alone to stew in pain and denial for over a decade, for him to have learned to handle it better and even mostly get over it! that could have happened! it just didn’t.

to an extent he’s insecure about different things as a grown man than he was as a boy, life experience makes a difference. he’s built confidence about some things and become absolutely shattered about others. but he’s a person who is easy to wound, in all kinds of complicated identity-related ways, especially by Wei Wuxian specifically, and his kneejerk response to that is to lash out in reply, whether the wounding was intentional or not.

the fact that Wei Wuxian spent most of their lives giving every evidence of being completely immune to being harmed by this reaction masked its toxicity until things got real ugly real fast.

jiang cheng absolutely has the capacity to not do this! it’s a deeply rooted bad habit, not actually a fundamental of his character. but it requires self-awareness, will, and (if he’s going to keep it up) a lot of practice. it’s not the kind of thing that just goes away on its own, even with a bunch of alterations in context.

i don’t have like a closing argument here i just keep finding that takes on jiang cheng that don’t work for me, whether generous or condemnatory, always seem to disagree with me on one of these main points.

[liveontelevision]

Who Wants Pancakes?

@alcoris-shiz requested some Radioapple stuff and i hope this is okay 😬 I haven't written for any ships yet, so this is my first shot at that 🎉

18+ Smut-ish, Mentions of Blood

♡♡♡

Lucifer didn't think the proximity would become a problem, I mean, he purposely made his office as far from that damned radio demon as possible and it still wasn't enough of a buffer to keep him off his ass. Still, other than having an occasional argument or just hearing some insulting mutters in passing, it wasn't all bad. The hotel was finally picking up and getting some residents, and he did make a promise to lend a hand where possible.

Something Charlie suggested early on was weekly hotel staff breakfasts. It was a fond memory, though a distant one, to have a hot plate of pancakes with her parents, so she was quick to suggest Lucifer start making them one day of the week for everyone to enjoy. Unfortunately, that does include Alastor. He agreed with delight, willing to do anything for his dearest daughter even with the slightest hesitance.

After a few weeks, it actually became something Lucifer looked forward to. Sure, he had to deal with the more extreme personalities of some of the staff, but it's been quite a while since he cooked and he was glad to get the chance to enjoy it with Charlie, again. Alastor had actually never joined this routine, which he had to admit, sent a stir of emotions to Lucifer's head.

Was he too pompous to even accept pancakes? What could that damned fool be doing that was so important, he couldn't sit down for a mere hour? Should he consider trying different recipes? He knows Alastor is a cannibal, but there had to be some exceptions.. But why should he care?

He often embarrassed himself by entertaining the idea of trying to satisfy him in any way.

"Who's ready for pancakes?" Lucifer pushes the kitchen door open with his back, his arms stacked with plates upon plates of freshly made pancakes as he sang out the phrase with a smile. An audible hum emerged from each of the staff members seated at the table, the scent filling the room. He skillfully slid the plates free of his arms and lined them up on the table before snapping his fingers and allowing each plate to portal in front of the hungry demons. He actually spent these past few weeks learning about who likes what; Angel loved having whipped cream decorating his plate, Husk was a fan of honey baked into his, and Niffty's always looked like an icecream sundae with the amount of toppings she'd want. A classic syrup drizzled plate appeared at the head of the table, a seat fit for a king. So, when Lucifer wiped his hands clean of any baking reminents that might have been stuck on, he was struck with disbelief to a devilish smile meeting him, seated at the head of the table. At his seat.

"Well! What a pleasant surprise! I'm so glad to see you could finally join us!" Lucifer's chipper demeanor wavered as he spoke through his clenched teeth. Alastor slowly slid Lucifer's plate across the table to be in front of the seat next to his, a chair that was always left open, in the hopes that a certain demon would join. Well, here he is.

"Good morning! I've found myself with a bit of free time this morning, so I thought i'd kindly grace you all with my presence. I'm sure you've all been missing me this past few weeks, I do apologize for any worry i may have caused." Alastor smiles brightly, completely ignoring the fuming angel who sat down hard in the only available chair. Charlie was quick to reassure Alastor, simply stating that she's glad to see him and how she's just happy to see him join breakfast. But Lucifer was clearly not entertained by that answer, since it's simply just not true. Lucifer let's out a crood fake laugh before picking up his knife with a white knuckled fist.

"What, am I to simply watch everyone enjoy their breakfast? Am I to pick through the trash for my food? How crude!" Alastor puts on a woe-is-me fit, raising his arm to fain over his head in a fainting motion. Charlie loudly cleared her throat to gain her father's attention, then nudged her eyes in Alastor's direction before holding her hands together in a pleading motion. How can he say no to those puppy dog eyes? He can't, unfortunately. With a dramatic dropping of his utensils, Lucifer huffed his way into the kitchen, tying his already dirtied apron back around his waist.

Mumbling some angry profanities about a certain deer demon, he listened to the muffled conversations and laughs that went on right beyond the door. As he began to mix the batter, he heard the door swing open.

"I appreciate your work, Your Highness, but I am especially particular about my food. I'm sure you wouldn't mind me watching your methods, hmm?" Without any answer, the radio demon took a seat at the island across the counter, crossing his slender legs and propping his head up with his hands. Lucifer let out a quiet, "Oh Brother -" before quickening his pace with the whisk. "Now now! Don't let that frightful scrowl ruin my pancakes. I keep hearing of their excellence and I expect just that." He tuned in, his smile only becoming increasingly petty.

This went on the entire time. Lucifer made his pancakes with a scowl, his eye twitching at every little note or critique that came out in Alastor's staticky tone. Afterward, he was finally able to join his daughter for breakfast. Even if his plate had gotten cold, and everyone was essentially done with their own food, he made it a point smile and acted as if he didn't waste his morning on this red-headed prick. Lucifer began to clean up the table, with some help, but he surely didn't mind when Charlie had to take everyone to the lobby for an exercise that was supposed to start sooner than earlier. The worst part? The plate made fresh for Alastor sat perfectly untouched.

"Oh, come on! That fucking piece of ... " Lucifer grumbled, essentially cleaning up everything but that plate, simply too angered to look at it. He brought the dishes to the kitchen, plopping them into the sink. He set his ring to the side as he washed the dishes, humming a tune to calm his previous rage. Menial tasks always did help with that. A static song overwhelmed Lucifer's humming, snapping him out of his little trance and making him whip his head around, to see an all too close radio demon, holding his untouched pancakes in front of him. Lucifer groaned and rolled his eyes before returning to the dishes.

"Oh wow. So! Are you here to help me clean or make fun of how I do the dishes? Either way, I don't need it. Do me a favor and fuck off." Losing his cool for a moment, his final statement come out as a gravelly growl. Alastor let out a despicable cackle, placing the plate down next to the sink, having to lean over Lucifer to do so. Lucifer scoffed when he felt his back lightly brush the other's Torso, attempting to keep a blush from running across his face.

"Why no, good sir! I don't intend to help one bit, not to worry. I simply enjoy seeing a powerful king, such as yourself, acting as a meeger housewife." His voice was far too close to Lucifer's ear, a chill running up his spine as he felt his hot breath against the side of his cheek. In his best attempts to keep his cool, he stood rigged for a moment before continuing to scrub a plate that was already spotless.

"Don't forget your place, good sir - " he spoke in a mocking tone," - I could kill you with a snap of my fingers." He spat out, his face still not visible to the demon towering over him.

"Oh, I don't doubt it! Well, I won't interrupt you again, I am here to simply enjoy the view, as I said before." As he stepped away to sit back into a bar stool, a hushed static ran over Lucifer's body. His eye twitched as he continued to clean his dishes, hoping that ignorance would make him lose interest and find something better to do. It didn't

Alastor's eyes boar into his back the entire time. After a hasty clean-up, Lucifer was quick to set aside his apron and dust off his vest and sleeves to get the hell out of the room. The white noise of static was becoming unbearable. After letting out a sigh of relief, Lucifer blindly went to pick up his wedding band, his hand reaching out and meeting nothing but empty counter space. He began to panic, looking around frantically, patting down his pockets, even reaching into the sink.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck - " In the nervous state, he took no time to look back to Alastor, if he did, he'd be greeted with his smile growing impossibly wider.

"Missing something, your highness?" Alastor said with an innocent tone, batting his eyelashes at the king. Lucifer whipped his head around and slammed his fists on the counter in front of him, cracking the marble.

"What the fuck did you do?" His devil features were quick to sprout, starting with his tail that stuck straight up like a cat in distress, the tip just barely flicking. Alastor could feel the heat of the small flame that sparked at Lucifer's crown, sitting right between his lengthy horns that tore through his flesh. His eyes squinted with a terrifying red glow, completely enraged at Alastor's unphased expression.

"Oh, dear! Could you possibly be looking for this?" Alastor wiggled his hand in front of Lucifer's face, flaunting his own wedding band sitting pretty on his red claws. Lucifer wasted no time to reach out and grab it, but of course, Alastor easily got away by standing from his seat.

They danced around the kitchen for a moment, Alastor cackling at every near miss, which only pissed the king off more. His power was used poorly, making him run out of stamina much quicker than he would prefer, but still long enough to tire out the radio demon just as much. They stood a few feet away from eachother, panting heavily. Letting out a final growl, Lucifer flooded the room with his large wings and lunged out in one final attempt. Alastor, not exactly planning out his next move, popped the ring into his mouth in one smooth motion. Lucifer stumbled and stopped mid lunge, the sheer confusion hitting him more than anything.

"What in the unholy hell - What did you do?! Why??" The situation became comical for a moment, his rage dying down as he tried to wrap his head around the bold move.

"You want your ring back, Sweatheart? Come and get it." He spoke awkwardly, attempting to get his words out before opening his mouth and showing off the wedding band that sat right on the center of his tongue.

Lucifer immediately flushed red, his wings curling around his body before tucking behind his back again. This wasn't what Alastor originally had in plan, but seeing his reaction was just as well. He placed his hands on his hips and bent forward to meet Lucifer's eyes and present him with a much better view of his opened mouth.

They stood there for a moment silently. Alastor shut his eyes and hummed for a moment, closing his mouth and slipping the ring on the tip of tongue before sticking it out to present to Lucifer. It took him far too long to make the decision, but Lucifer took a painful grip onto his shoulders and smashed his open mouth against Alastor's presented tongue. He was far too startled too grasp the situation in time, allowing Lucifer to skilfully wrap his forked tongue around Alastor's prying the ring off and into his own mouth. He pulled away, their tongues still connected with a line of saliva for a moment.

Lucifer placed his hand below his mouth and gently spat out his ring, sliding it carefully on his finger still covered in their mixed spit. He never broke eye contact with the dazed deer demon. Lucifer smirked, crossing his arms across his puffed out chest with pride, as if he won something. He let out a satisfied hum before his eyes followed Alastor's body moving towards him. Standing nearly toe to toe, Lucifer had to crain his neck to see Alastor's glowing eyes.

"Do it, again." His voice was low and gravely, a loud static screeching for a moment causing Lucifer to hiss and cover his ears. Taking the oppurtunity, Alastor took a strong hold onto Lucifer's jaw, pulling him upwards until he was struggling to keep his feet on the ground. He held onto his wrist, an angry glint in his eye, yet silent.

"Did you not hear me, Your Highness? Do. It. Again." He couldn't prevent his face from heating up at the demand, slightly gasping for breath. Mustering his strength, he rolled his eyes and sent a wicked grin to Alastor, his face still held in his hands.

"Sure~"

Lucifer took in a fistful of the demon's red hair and yanked it towards his face, making their lips crash together in a heated attempt to take control of the situation. Alastor lost his grip, allowing Lucifer to firmly plant his feet back on the ground. He kept a tight grip on his hair, keeping the towering demon at his level by bending him over uncomfortably at the hip. He continued to wrestle his forked tongue around Alastor's mouth, no matter how hard he tried to keep up with the king, he couldnt help but melt into the moment. And he feel absolute shame because of it.

After what seemed like meer seconds, Lucifer pulled his hair back, causing his neck to uncomfortably crane backwards. He fell to his knees, the only way to break the discomfort of his current stature. He panted heavily, his arms dropped to his side in a beautiful display of obedience. Lucifer's irises glew a shade of blood red at the sight in front of him. He leaned down just slightly to meet his eyes, finally having the upperhand, "I'll do it again, Sure. But - you have to admit that I won." He grinned almost innocently, making Alastor's limp expression immediately turn into a snarl.

"Go on, then. Admit defeat. You lost."

He'd never admit it, but Alastor found himself in an absolutely helpless situation. He was overpowered.

"Sire, you can't possibly be serious, I would hardly call this a game, don't -" before he could attempt to charm his way out of it, Lucifer readjusted the grasp on his hair to lift his head up by his ears. He yelped.

"Ahha! That's a fun noise! Go ahead and do it again, Darling. I'll give you what you want~" Lucifer kept a tight hold on the other demons ears, feeling them twitch in his fist. He leaned down slightly just hovering over his lips, before yanking his ears forward to connect them with his. The sudden motion made another quiet yelp come from Alastor's lips, but it was muffled between their heavy breaths combined.

He reached upwards, grabbing Lucifer's vest and pulling him down until his knees hit the floor painfully. The sudden jolt caused Lucifer's teeth to graze the inside of his cheek, a small amount of blood mixing in between their lips. Alastor tasted it almost immediately, grabbing Lucifer's sides and pulling him into his torso, sloppily trying to lap up any of the angelic blood that spilled from his mouth.

Lucifer pulled away, pushing on Alastor's chest to keep a distance. As they caught their breath, Alastor licked his lips clean of the golden blood that he managed to obtain. He let out a low growl, before picking up Lucifer by his waist and tossing him hastily onto the counter. Pulling him right to the edge, their bodies completely pressed together, he locked their lips again. Lucifer lost his powerful composure for a moment, gripping Alastor's back and letting out a pathetic whimper into the kiss.

Alastor responded by biting Lucifer's lip, allowing more of his sweet blood to spill into his mouth. He slipped his hands between the two of them, slicing the threads of each button that held his vest and shirt together with ease. Pulling his shirt to the side before he could even realize his top was undone, Alastor pulled away from his lips and let out a heavy breath at the nape of his neck before anchoring his pointed teeth at the softest part of his skin.

Lucifer let out a careful moan, quick to cover his mouth lazily to hold back any other noises. His hand was quickly ripped away from his lips, Alastor guiding it back to the top of his head. He quickly took a grasp of his hair again, desperate for anything to anchor himself to reality.

After leaving a lovely trail of bloody bruises and bites across his entire chest, tainting the procelain white skin, he stepped back to look at his work. Lucifer was a panting mess, hair stuck to his forehead and eyes dazed. His shirts had fallen off his shoulders and he was still attempting to catch his breath. Alastor recovered much quicker, wiping the trail of glowing blood that flowed down Lucifer's chin with his thumb and licking it clean himself.

"Well, I suppose I'll admit to defeat and leave you to your duties, your highness." He swipes some invisible dust from his coat before holding his hands behind his back and heading towards the door.

"Ah, and might I say, you make quite the meal!" He said chipperly, leaving a stunned Lucifer still seated on the countertop as the radio static that once flooded his senses slowly ceased.

♡♡♡

Also just saying, I took some inspo from a radioapple drawing I saw on IG and i cannot for the life of me find it again so I'll include it if anyone finds it :,)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA For Not Budging On A Potentially Unconventional Need?

I (M20+) have BPD and Autism, and when I was younger, they'd both team up to cause me a lot of struggle.

One of the biggest things I used to do was self isolate when I was upset or worried, and just sit around after throwing out some red flags, hoping someone would read my mind and ask me if I was alright.

OBVIOUSLY THAT WASN'T VERY HEALTHY, neither for myself or for others. I definitely think that was an "ESH" time period.

So now that I'm older, in therapy, taking meds, and generally doing better and am a lot happier, I put clear communication as my #1 priority in all of my relationships.

I don't phrase anything in a way that sounds confrontational, I don't tell people what they can or can't do, who they can or can't talk with, don't get jealous too easily, etc. I only ask for honesty, compromise, and mutual respect for boundaries.

I really thought I was doing well for myself by swapping "I won't communicate at all" out for "I need to communicate often"

But one thing that I just can't seem to stop is the paranoia when it comes to people I'm particularly close and very vulnerable with; I'll notice certain changes in their demeanor and worry it's because I've done something wrong, or that they don't like me as much anymore. Sometimes I CAN brush it off and wait it out until I'm inadvertently proven otherwise.

But if it's not going away, and I'm worried it's just getting worse, I need to just ask for their honest thoughts and get it over with. If for some reason they were actually upset, my intention would NOT be to double down or lash out. I just DON'T want to be strung along by a lie, as has happened!

This isn't really that common of an occurrence either. Maybe every few weeks during particularly hard periods.

I don't feel this way about people I'm not very close to, and people who do manage to get very close to me know this about me; I keep no secrets about my mental health and try to be extremely upfront. A lot of people will say at first that they understand, but over time, I'll eventually get that flack and heartache from them, saying that it's just too exhausting for them. At best, I'm kinda teased for it. It's made me feel like I haven't made as much progress in my recovery as I thought I had, which sucks.

It's not me starting arguments or fights, or accusing them of anything. Just me saying "Hey, I've been feeling a little paranoia lately, is everything okay between us? Is there anything we should talk about?" or something like that.

I'm really conflicted about it.

On one hand, I feel like if things are okay, it shouldn't be difficult or tiring to say "Nope, everything's alright, dw!" If you still like me in a certain way, why would it be tiring to just say so? It takes maybe five seconds to type/say. The only way I can see it being tiring is if they were just telling me white lies about how they felt, and had to maintain the act.

On the other hand, I know BPD isn't without its delusions, and that Autism isn't without its "misunderstanding of social norms". I know I'm likely to see things differently from others. I know it's not exactly EASY to love someone like me. Maybe it IS too much of a demand, and I've just convinced myself it's not?

This IS something I'm trying to work through in therapy regardless, but I just worry that it isn't a symptom that will ever fully go away, and instead it needs to be worked with.

Am I the asshole for standing by that, at LEAST for now? Is it fair? Or is that too much of a need for people to reasonably accommodate? Am I just not trying hard enough to be better?

If I ever got particularly close to someone again, would I be an asshole for again insisting that if I need reassurance to dismiss an oncoming spiral, they should be able to meet that need instead of asking that I keep the paranoia to myself and just deal with it on my own? Which may or may not work, or even make things worse.

I know it can make people feel like I don't trust them. That much I do understand! But I've tried telling them that it's not that I don't trust or respect them, I don't trust or respect myself. I dunno if that makes sense to anyone without BPD, though.

This is both a "Was I the asshole?" and a "Would I be the asshole?" ask I guess, lol

[defectivehero]

dialogue

Sometimes, I hate dialogue. Sometimes, I love it. Will I ever be perfect at it? Absolutely not. Are there a few things I've learned as I write more dialogue? ... Yes. Here are some of those things:

[as always, no pressure to use any of these tips. writing doesn't have a "one size fits all" formula.]

Conversations aren't always super smooth, equal exchanges where everything is reciprocated. Sometimes, individuals cut each other off. Sometimes, one individual is doing most of the talking while the other is mostly listening. Think about your characters and what is unique about them. Then, embrace that in your writing! Things like: a) answering questions two paragraphs later, b) dodging the subject and then coming back to it, and c) saying one thing but meaning another are just a few examples of ways to liven up dialogue. If a character is super energetic and eager, they may dominate the conversation (unknowingly or knowingly). If a character is more withdrawn, they may pause before speaking, speak in smaller fragments, or elect not to speak at all. The unique personalities and circumstances of your character can show through in dialogue.

Consider more than just the dialogue. This is probably my favorite thing to do, because sometimes, I just can't get the words to be perfect. And that's okay! Often, a sentiment is better portrayed through a description of a person's body language—think of gestures, facial expressions, etc—than through written dialogue. Think about a character who has gotten sick as an example. There's two ways you can approach their dialogue: 1) focus on the words they're speaking and use descriptions as accessories, or 2) focus on their body language and use dialogue as an accessory. I often find myself thinking that dialogue has to be the main focus, but it doesn't! For the sick character example, I try thinking about how they look and how they may feel. Often times, those kinds of things can also inspire dialogue! In this case, the sick character may: speak with a more raspy tone; have trouble getting the words out; have an interrupted flow of speech because of sniffles or coughs; shiver with cold or sweat; or have a hazy look to their eyes. Details like these often take away some of the pressure I put on myself to have the perfect dialogue.

Dive into the mechanics of the person's voice. Is their voice raspy, gravelly, deep, high? Is there an underlying emotion showing through? How about the volume—are they speaking loudly, softly, or somewhere in the middle? Do they accentuate their statements in a certain way, such as breaking their statements up into shorter phrases with pauses in between?

Think about the setting. I say something along these lines in virtually every writing tips post, but I think the setting is super important and a great way to add some flavor to a dialogue. Where are your characters? Is there anyone nearby—and if so, how do they respond? Do the characters drop to a whisper to avoid eavesdropping or do they carry on as normal? How about the place where the interaction occurs—is it traditionally loud, quiet, or somewhere in the middle? What time of day is it—does the conversation take place in the early morning (think raspy voices from sleep) or late at night (quieter to avoid noise)? Perhaps it's in midday, but the surrounding area is a street bustling with activity?

Explore the context behind the interaction. Why is the conversation occurring? Is it a purpose or task-focused interaction? Is it context-specific? Are there certain elements of language that can only be understood by certain people (think inside jokes or language specific to a place/occurrence)? Also, evaluate the importance of the interaction taking place and go from there. If you're stuck on a part that isn't necessarily inherent to the story (which I usually am), consider shifting to description instead! You can also use dialogue to reference past occurrences, if that makes things easier. Think of a character getting home from work and speaking to their partner. Their partner asks them about their day and the character explains it: "My boss said..." In this example, you would be able to bypass writing the actual interaction between the boss and the character, and instead introduce it to the audience through the character's retelling of it.

I hope these help! Sorry if they're confusing—dialogue is definitely difficult! Each writer will have their own process, and I'm not claiming that mine is picture-perfect.

[necromeat]

A schizoid POV

Feeling nothing towards compliments or criticism is kind of crazy. I know these are positive and negative things, and that people often strive to get more compliments than criticism, and I know people often get happy of the former and upset by the latter, though I know both are essential in healthy human interactions. But I really, really don't give a damn what someone thinks of me or if they try to make me happy or upset. I guess it's just the schizoid way.

Like, I genuinely don't understand why someone would go out of their way to seek compliments, or how, at the end of the day, some criticism should make you upset. I mean, sure, if I put a lot of effort into something, let's say a drawing, and someone says it looks nice, I can say it makes me happy to hear, but more in a logical sense than in an emotional one. And it's even better if they tell me what specifically they like about the drawing, not because I would feel complimented and emotional, but because I like to analyze. And honestly, they could even tell me what they don't like, and then I can perhaps improve in those aspects more, because I always strive to improve, even if at the end of the day I don't feel particularly proud of myself or my accomplishments in an emotional sense. I mean yes, if someone sees my drawing and gives me nothing but rude remarks about how ugly it is, I will feel like it's unfair and unfounded, but even that is more from a logical perspective.

Nothing really feels like anything.

I don't know why, but often when something I do online gets a lot of traction or a lot of likes, I don't really feel any sort of way about it. Should I? I mean, if anything, attention just makes me feel kind of overwhelmed. And this often leads me to just… ignoring that attention until it blows over. However, I do also notice a pattern of valuing my posts through the attention, not in an emotional sense but as in, big number good, small number bad, as if it's a game. When this happens I recognize I need a break, and so I close the app for an indeterminate amount of time.

I always wonder what it's like to feel accomplished or emotionally fulfilled or perhaps even proud of yourself. Lacking in this is probably some kind of hell in itself, but it's all I've ever known. I may throw around some phrases like "I feel proud of myself today because of x", but in reality, under the mask, I don't really know. If you compliment my looks, I can lie and say it made my day, but I don't need you to say I look good when I already knew it beforehand. If you give me your opinion of me unprompted, give me something substantial.

I could go on a tangent about how this reflects the way I treat my friends, though this isn't really about that. Often the conversation around SzPD surrounds our relationships and especially the amount of friends we have. I think I'm pretty social for someone with SzPD, actually. But there's so much more to life than the amount of social interaction you have. And I would go as far as to say that I enjoy the periods of my self in exile. I think it's only good to take a break sometimes and focus on whatever else there is to life than other people. However, as social animals, we do need to return at some point. We need others to stay healthy.

I view everything as a cycle. Everything is kind of temporary. The good things, the bad things, everything in between; it comes and goes. The worst day of your life might as well be followed by the best, and you might not even notice it. Friendships don't last forever with me, and I've already accepted this a long time ago. I'm not trying to be nihilistic, rather, I'm trying to explain how neutral I stay to everything. I still like people despite everything, and always will. Other people are immensely interesting, from a logical standpoint. A lot of people say they can be themselves around me, and I take pride and purpose in this, at least as much as my brain allows me to. I'm an observer, a listener, and it may not be enough to sustain a long-term friendship, but I've made someone happy and comfortable, and sometimes that's enough.

I don't know if this makes much sense anymore, but… Sometimes a compliment makes someone's day, sometimes some gentle criticism helps someone out, and sometimes all they need is to sit down and have someone listen in an unopinionated way.

So go ahead.

[velvetures]

May I RQ a reader who is trying to learn their language to help them feel more comfortable, but feels insecure due to them not really being fluent? They mispronounce and misuse the slangs in context, but hopes they can make the boys see the effort they are trying to go through for them.

Lessons In Miscommunication

A/N: Hi doll, I hope you don't mind me using König for this one. I've got a lot of experience with Spanish irl, but that's not super applicable here, haha. To anyone who's German... please forgive me. 🤍 Summary: You're on comms during a mission getting a small lesson in König's language while waiting for your next orders from HQ. Things get complicated, and there's a language and culture barrier that makes things... challenging. T/W: canonical warfare, cursing, non-fluent use of German, flirting, feelings, and some other stuff probably. Not proofread, as always.

To put it simply, you didn't expect just how difficult it would be to learn a new language in your twenties. Sure the science spoke to the provable trouble you would have compared to a much younger version of yourself, but for all meaningful purposes, you really didn't think it would be this nuanced. And while Spanish, French, and other languages were of great importance, there wasn't anyone who could teach you those. The one person around was König, and he spoke German.

When you'd approached the topic nearly eight months ago, he'd been honestly shocked and surprised that you'd come to him in the first place and secondly that you thought he would be a good teacher. He was often thought of as reliable as a Colonel, but giving you suitable enough tutoring in German to be conversational was nothing short of uncharted territory for the pair of you. This made for very interesting moments in and outside of missions as well as a few times where it would've been better if you'd used an online app or something to keep from unintentionally embarrassing yourself.

Posted almost two miles away from the Colonel on a rocky outcropping overlooking a small encampment of a radical terrorist group, you laid on the hillside with a rifle and radio trying to pass the time between now and when you'd get the call to secure the site. The men and women down below were only one small stop-off point for a far larger caravan of armored trucks and a few tanks carrying supplies and weaponry toward the closest city of Almazra. It was a threat that couldn't come to fruition if the buildings and people still living there were to be left standing by the end of the week.

On the other end of the two-mile distance was König and a selected squad of men who were waiting just as impatiently as you were to not only get this mission over with but to get out of the damn desert heat. For security's sake, you knew you should be keeping the airways clear for any kind of information about the insurgent's movements, but König had insisted that this would be a perfect opportunity for you to get some practice in without losing focus of the task at hand. Your job at the moment was to keep eyes on the encampment through the lens of your sniper rifle and report anything that looked to be of importance.

König's definition of what was important could be easily debatable, yet it did ensure that you could make simple connections between real-world objects and the German words or phrases that matched. Whether or not the Colonel realized it or not, both of you had slightly gotten off the target of what you were supposed to be talking about and wandered into the more... personal aspects of things. Specifically just how bad you wanted to be home after nearly a full month away from American soil and your personal home.

"Ich habe für immer Fernweh," Your accent was certainly progressing, at least in the Colonel's mind, but he wasn't quite sure exactly what you meant by that.

"Was meinst du damit? Kannst du es dieses Mal auf Englisch sagen?"

His voice sounded a little confused and more than a tinge humored at the way you'd sounded so... formal. Even diplomatic to a degree. It was one of the more difficult parts of teaching you. Dialects, slang, and even simple English-to-German translations didn't always have a very direct or clear answer. Often it meant that you would say something with full intention and innocent honesty, and König would have to keep himself from chuckling. Most of the men he worked alongside didn't speak for one reason or another, so getting to hear at least one person -especially you- made the near and far miscommunication more than worth the effort.

Looking through your scope at a group of five sitting around a small fire, you sigh a bit, trying to think of how to explain yourself.

"I meant I'm feeling homesick," You mutter a little more quietly than necessary, almost as if saying it in English was broadcasting your secret while German somehow kept it from being found out. "What did you hear me say?"

König chuckled, his laugh vibrating in the speakers of your comm quite nicely. "You said you have wanderlust forever," You could hear him smiling from the other end. "It's okay, sometimes the words don't always mean exactly what you think they do. I had the same problem when I learned English." For a moment he paused, laughing softly again. "I still can't say Squirrel... properly."

"Vielleicht habe ich doch Lust auf etwas..." You mutter a bit frustrated and somewhat skarkily under your breath, making a small jab at wordplay not thinking that König could hear you over the radio or that he'd be more shocked to hear you say such a thing.

The radio stays silent for a long few minutes, almost tricking you into believing that you'd been safe in making your comment under your breath without any audible witnesses. Only on the other end, the Colonel was struggling between the actual meaning behind your words, the way it sounded so damn sexy... and how he was supposed to actually answer you without sounding too affected by something as simple as your voice.

"Se-Sergeant..." His voice sounded a little weak, much in the same way it did when he was in an uncomfortable social situation. "What did you just say?"

Instantly your body tensed up from fingers to toes and you felt a shock of heat roll through you. König heard you. Right away you assumed by the growl in his question that you were going to be in for some kind of punishment. Maybe even a good ass-chewing in front of the rest of the squad for saying something so easily considered lewd and totally unprofessional to utter in the presence of a superior officer. Your best bet was apologizing, and hoping he'd just let it go...

"I'm sorry, I was just frustrated and-"

His voice deepens over the radio, almost like he's got it pressed right up against his mouth. "Say it again." The command felt heavy in your stomach. "Now."

You repeated the phrase, staring through the lens of your scope with bated breath. waiting to hear what the Colonel would say in response. And the last thing you expected was to hear an almost pained sort of growling sound vibrating in your ears. It made you shiver and despite König being almost two miles away, it felt like he was breathing down your neck.

"Du klingst so hübsch, wenn du das sagst..." A noticeable static over the radio took your attention, but when it didn't get worse you had the mental capacity to translate what König said word by word until you had the full sentence running through your head.

The time between his praise and your response was nearly indistinguishable between seconds and years. Had it not been for you watching your targets moving in real-time through your scope, you would've thought the whole world had come to a stuttering halt in anticipation of your response. Yet it seemed that the world still had to do other important things which included bringing the key turning point of this mission right to your front door with the sudden sound of an approaching squad tailing the convoy of insurgents giving information and callouts for how to proceed forward. Of those, orders for König and his men to begin working down the side of the mountain to intercept the meeting of the convoy and the small ground sitting in tents around a high-burning fire.

"Ich werde später herausfinden, wie hübsch man klingen kann, wenn man schmutzige Dinge auf Deutsch sagt." The Colonel's voice growled lowly, almost threatening in a sense.

There was no telling what would happen after the mission ended and there wasn't a threat of being shot or failing to secure Almazra. What you could count on was König finding you and testing out his theory of all the things you could say in his language they may or may not have been provocative - on purpose or not. Something in your body shivered in delightful nervousness and anticipation of just how he planned on getting that kind of information out of you. A couple of ideas swirled in your mind, but the movement of the incoming convoy didn't allow you the luxury of daydreaming about your Colonel or how your mistaken words and German lessons had landed you here.

Comments and Reblogs are Always Helpful <3

[elephant-in-the-pride-parade]

AI is Theft, plain and simple.

I'm seeing a group of posts circulating with fanfiction authors forbidding folks to feed their WIPs to an AI to get a quick ending. I am both horrified that there's actual readers who would do that and also resigned that some readers will do it anyway.

A lot of us have already been robbed.

1,000,000 words of my writing were consumed by ChatGPT when its trainers took massive amounts of AO3 works and added them to its training dataset. Nearly every word I've written in my adult life was taken without my consent to build that machine.

I'm locking all my existing and future fics to registered AO3 users only for this reason. It's the best precaution to prevent future scraping of works on the website by AI. I don't want to do that. Half my Kudos and some of my comments come from guests. I want to be able to share my stories with those of you who can't get an AO3 account. But I don't want my work stolen by an AI again.

To folks who would rather use AI to generate the ending of someone else's WIP, or to write a whole story for them, know that youre condoning the theft of billions of words.

Some may say that all writing is created thanks to inspiration from other writing, maybe you think it's not a big deal that others work was used to train an AI. But there are differences to how a human mind writes and how a machine generates text. A human being can be inspired by another writer or dozens of writers. But the work they create is their own, crafted from their unique human experiences. Humans select words based on their definition, connotation, linguistic history, and dozens of other unique factors to convey whatever idea they are striving to put onto a page.

ChatGPT selects words based primarily on their function, one of the reasons it has been demonstrated to be unable to tell the difference between falsehood and fact. It selects words based on how often it knows they have been paired with other words. ChatGPT  does not have its own emotions. It does not think. It does not create. It only reuses the turns of phrase created by real people. None of its words are its own. It has no original ideas of its own. It's producing a facimile of creativity - a facimile made possible by my and millions of other writers stolen, unconsented contributions. Its creators are profiting off of our work.

WGA are striking to ensure their professional writers' hard work is never used for AI models. Those of us who are fanfiction authors deserve the same choice. I never agreed to have my work used for anyone else’s profit, certainly not for an AI which, by design, steals other people’s ideas each time it generates a word.

If you're too impatient to wait for one of my WIPs to be finished, and for some reason dont just want to message me and beg me to spoil the ending, then go ahead, give my work to the AI to finish if youre that impatient. It already ate every word thats ever mattered to me. But know that whatever ending it spits out, it will be no more real than a trick of the light and not half as entertaining. The equivalent of eating a pack of red dye number 2 when you wanted a red apple. And it will be theft. Is that really worth your instant gratification?

[crownmemes]

Fringe Sentences, Vol. 2

(Sentences from Fringe (2008-2013). Adjust phrasing where needed)

"When was the last time your father told you he loved you?"

"You can't imagine what it's like for a man like me to not have access to parts of his mind!"

"I know I don't know you well enough to say this, but you haven't seemed yourself lately."

"The tension in your voice indicates that you're carrying a heavy psychic burden."

"Opium! Fantastic stuff!"

"Science and technology have reached a point where our means are finally catching up with our imagination, and the only thing preventing us from doing truly visionary work are these morally based restrictions that lawmakers put up in the name of public policy."

"Something's been bugging you all day, and that's okay. You know what? We're all allowed to have our bad days! But you know what's not fine? Blaming it all on me."

"I know that rationally he isn't responsible for all the bad things in the world, but he is responsible for some of them."

"Don't you see it? How beautiful it is?"

"We don't know each other well enough for you to say something like that to me."

"This may be something of an understatement, but you are not doing well."

"We need to discuss your father."

"It's good to see you again, despite the strange circumstances."

"Does he still have his head? Is it still attached to his body?"

"Perhaps in this case, death is merely an inconvenience."

"You never did lose well."

"I've never had a conversation with a dead guy before; forgive me if I don't know the rules!"

"You've not been doing this very long, have you?"

"The people I work with are loyal to the end. Can you say the same?"

"I have noticed that you have a habit of referring to me as if I were not in the room."

"The best lie - the one that's easiest to remember with consistency - is the one that's based on the truth."

"I expect more from you than the polite appearance of cooperation."

"In case you haven't noticed, I can be quite obsessive."

"If I can find you, then they can find you."

"A word of advice: don't pry into things you couldn't possibly understand."

"I see you didn't take me up on my offer to go see my tailor."

"I like this suit. It's always been lucky for me."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think about you all too often."

"Things like this used to happen in the lab all the time!"

"Does this look like a flu you've heard of? Where people's brains come out their ears?"

"Don't torture yourself with hypotheticals."

"I want a lawyer! Don't I get a lawyer?"

"Is it any consolation knowing you were right?"

"I don't underestimate my father, by the way. I understand him - sometimes more than I want to."

"I used to look up to you, but now? Now, you're pathetic."

"God, I hope I never have to hear you say the word 'nipple' again."

"Despite the thousands of questions I have in my head right now, I'm going to bite my tongue."

"I know it's against protocol, but right now, I frankly don't give a damn!"

[bunnyswritings]

ur blog is soo helpful !!!! ive been looking into writing more lately and this is like a godsend <3 i was wondering if u could do some starter tips?? like stuff to avoid as a new writer :o ps. hope ur having a wonderful week!!!

ahhh, hello!! this is such a sweet message, and thank you, i hope you have a fruitful week ahead too ♡ i'm so glad you're writing more lately- i'll def do my best to provide some starter tips (though i'm really also a starter myself 😅 so i hope you like these, and feel free to let me know what you think!) also, just to put it out there that these are what i found helpful personally / what i think will be helpful, and may / may not resonate with everyone. Also, this topic is soooo broad and there are a million things that can be covered, but for now I'll just keep it short and go with stuff to avoid (or rather, approach differently) as per request. if you / anyone else would like another post for more specific writing tips, feel free to drop it in my ask box!

Some general writing tips — stuff to avoid; little things to not overdo

over-planning

overusing fancy vocabulary

over-describing

over-criticising your work

over-comparing

more details under the cut!

Over-planning — plan the general outline, direction of your plot, message of your story, characters and their rough personalities; yes, do all that well! good planning makes for a good story, but i think it's helpful to remember that sometimes things don't pan out the way we envision them to. and it's important to let certain things go, appropriately of course. if your initial storyline doesn't quite fit the characterisation of the protagonist etc (and vice versa), then perhaps it's time to rethink things — and NOT be too hard-up about it. [tldr: be flexible!]

Overusing bombastic vocabulary — i'm sure you've come across millions of writing advice pieces that aim to spruce up your vocabulary with bombastic phrases. by all means go ahead and pick a few that fit the mood and style of your writing. otherwise, i'd say that sometimes, less is more. throwing in fancy words for the sake of it may not be as helpful as you think. there should be a fine balance between using words that add flavour + help to illustrate nuances and using words to make your piece seem complex. simplicity goes a long way, as i've learnt. but having said that, building up a solid repertoire of vocabulary / good phrases is always helpful, the key thing is using those phrases in the right context. definitely easier said than done, so i suggest reading your favourite author's works couple of times through and pick up their way of using language to their advantage.

Over-describing — narration, descriptive language are great, and can really help to nudge your story in the right direction. it helps set the scene, the mood, and all these are critical in writing... BUT! not the same can be applied to describing actions. not every single action has to be written out explicitly — an example: she walks over to the kitchen, turns around, and opens the refrigerator. she then takes out a canned drink, and places the drink on the countertop... etc — you get the point. some things can be left implied, rather than explicit.

Over-criticising your work — ahh, the age-old piece of advice. i do it all the time, and you probably do too... sometimes, being harsh on yourself and on your work may seem like the only way to better yourself and push your limits, but often times, i personally find that this is counter-productive both on the physical and mental front. it wears you down, it is a nidus for dejection and negative vibes. i think the way i try to get round this is by taking pride in my own work; telling myself that 'this is something i wrote, these are my ideas put into prose, these are my thoughts written on paper'. the caveat here is that avoiding being over-critical of your work DOES NOT and should not mean avoiding proofreading. proofreading is extremely crucial to check for grammatical and structural errors (i recommend doing it once or twice yourself, and if possible, getting a fresh pair of eyes to do the same).

Over-comparing — this ties in nicely with the previous point. take pride in your work! this is something original from you and you only, written in your unique style. having authors/writers whom you look up to is essential in moulding your writing style and habits, but should not be the sole focus when you write. remember that every writer is different, every piece of writing is different; this goes even for pieces with similar plots / tropes / character personalities. nuances, subtleties and underlying messages can come through very differently when written by different people. after all, our life journeys are all personal, which is a factor influencing the way we convey messages across through the written word.

and... that's it for now! i really hope that this helps. honestly, i'm scratching the surface here, and there are lots more i can talk about when i have more braincells >_<

feel free to drop any other requests or questions in my ask if you'd like ♡

[bokutosmochi]

I SURRENDER WHO I'VE BEEN FOR WHO YOU ARE ♡ GETO SUGURU

gn!reader x artist!geto suguru

ingredients? geto has a gift for you in the form of a diamond ring.

what's it? fluff

allergen warning/s? flirty!gojo but only for the first part, use of petnames [hun, starlight, angel]

sugar level? 4.5k

regulars? @tokyometronetwork @tahonet

parlor's note? artist/painter geto has been running miles in my mind and i'm so glad to finally be able to put his creative self onto paper and share the idea with all of you!

bon appetit!

the first time you and geto suguru met was because of your friend ieiri shoko.

you and her were childhood friends, raised alongside each other. your family was close with hers and often times, the two of you were sat next to each other during family dinners, whether they be christmas celebrations, new year celebrations, birthdays, what ever the case was. since the two of you were so close in age, the adults figured that molding you to be friends was a good move. because of that, you'd be assigned as playmates. it's either you'd be at their house playing with her toys or she'd be at yours digging into your toy chest for something that interested her.

eventually, that friendship bloomed and you'd be inseparable when you reached school age. you'd always sit next to each other in class, and if your teacher didn't allow you to, you'd either kick up a fuss until they gave up or simply sat next to your best friend during lunchtime. whenever there were assigned projects where you could choose your partner, the two of you would already be looking at each other, an unspoken agreement being formed as you nodded we'll be partners.

that all changed when you turned eight and shoko told you that her family would be moving to tokyo. you may have been young, and that may have been years ago, but you still remember it. in fact, it's one of the clearest memories you have. you remember crying and marching into their house, runny nose and flushed face and all, to beg her parents not to move as she stood behind you twiddling her fingers. it was the quietest she has ever been. you remember telling your parents and sobbing into your favorite stuffed toy. you remember the dinner your family and hers had the night before they left. and you remember playing doctor in the car while on the way to the airport.

it was a different time back then, and given your age, you didn't have the privilege of having social media to connect with her. that only came about when you turned eighteen, fresh out of high school and having been a recipient of an acceptance letter into the university of tokyo.

you saw - or rather looked for would be a more appropriate term to use - her name on a paper with the official list of students and didn't hesitate to message her on facebook -- at this point, you're friends with her on the platform, you've messaged her a few times, but it did not compare to the bond you two had way back when. no plans of meeting up has been talked about either before you moved to tokyo.

[from: you

to: shoko

shooo!! you go to university of tokyo too? we should totally meet up sometime!]

after a few minutes, she replied.

[from: shoko

to: you

yeah, that sounds good. would you mind if some of my friends from high school tagged along? i think you'll get along with them.]

you expressed how you didn't mind - after all, knowing more people in university never hurt anyone, especially not people who your childhood best friend trusted - and with that, plans to go to the campus' cafe together were organized.

(organized may be a weird way to phrase it, but anyone who has friends that don't go to the same school as you or aren't taking the same course as you will understand.)

when you arrived there on a saturday afternoon as agreed upon, shoko was already there sat next to a man with white hair and circular glasses. his posture was very relaxed, maybe even to the point of making some people scoff and roll their eyes at him. a voice in your head told you that has probably happened multiple times before, as he proceeded to say that he does not care in the slightest. sat across from shoko was a man with long black hair tied into a neat bun. he was not facing you so you had no idea what he looks like, only that although relaxed as well, it seemed to be more polite than the other man's. he had broad shoulders which were complimented by his black button down shirt.

all eyes turned to you when you approached the table with a smile on your face and a small wave. shoko grinned and stood up to reach across the table and hug you. "it's nice to see you again. it's been a long time."

"it has!" you gushed, pulling away and sitting next to the man with light yellow splotches on his arm -- faint, fading bruises, perhaps?

"these two are the high school friends i was telling you about."

but before she could introduce them, she was interrupted.

"gojo satoru! you can call me yours though!" the one in front of you wiggled his eyebrows up and down and offered his hand for a shake. when you took his hand in yours telling him your name, he flipped it and pressed a kiss to your knuckles. "it's very nice to meet you. shoko never told me she had such cute friends." he winked.

the man next to you clicked his tongue in distaste. "that's not how you properly introduce yourself, satoru." he scolded his friend lightly.

turning to you, he flashed you a crescent-eyed smile, "hello, my name's geto suguru. you can call me suguru if you'd like. any friend of shoko's is a friend of mine. i'm dearly sorry for satoru's behavior. he can be quite a handful at times."

you warmed up to him quickly. it was hard not to. he was a gentleman, you could tell from his behavior. he was intelligent, well-spoken, and let both his heart and his brain rule over his decision making. you quickly felt at ease in his presence, so much so that when he suggested for the four of you to go to his dorm room when the cafe was getting too crowded, you said yes without a second thought.

the sun was setting and it's rays were directed at geto making him feel warmer and wanting to shed his button down as a result. he did so, revealing the undershirt he wore: a black tank top.

there was a large patch of purple on his bicep and you couldn't help but gasp and stroke it. "oh my god! what happened?"

your eyes widened at what you were doing and you retracted your hand as if you had just gotten electrocuted. your cheeks were warm and you wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow you whole. what made it worse was hearing gojo and shoko's laughter in the background. if gojo, the man relentlessly flirting with you was laughing at you touching another man's biceps, it must be bad."i am so sorry for touching you like that! it's just-" he chuckled though, cutting you off. "it's fine, hun. don't sweat it."

now he made you blush for an entirely different reason.

"don't worry about this little thing too." he looked at the patch of discoloration in his skin you fretted over. a disagreement was on the tip of your tongue, something akin to that's not a little thing, but he spoke before you. "i don't remember getting hit here." he murmured standing up and walking to the sink. "might be just paint."

and he was right. after scrubbing the area with some soap and water, it came right off. "pardon me for that. i didn't mean to make you worry, i was just painting before going to the cafe and i guess i missed a spot when i was cleaning up." he grinned at you bashfully.

you tilted your head to the side in curiousity. "so you're an artist?"

you couldn't stop talking to him after that. the artworks he produced were so interesting to you and you asked him about it, from the meaning, to the inspiration, to the color palette, sometimes even the songs he was listening to while he painted a certain piece.

it wasn't just his art that piqued your interest though, it was him in general.

thankfully for you, that was the case for him too. it just took him a longer time to find out.

he was in the zone.

sunday morning, he was glad to feel the feeling of wanting to pick up a paintbrush and mix colors once again. he found himself stuck in the past week, experiencing artist's block. it was something that all content creators have felt and hate, although normal. there were days where he felt so unproductive, not used to not creating. as a result of that, he would force himself to pick up his tools, instead of doing so because had the urge to. those artworks never ended up good, or at least no where near as good as the other ones, the reason being they weren't made with passion. if you were to ask about them, he would not be able to tell you a magnificent - or traumatizing - story that brought the painting to life. so now that he felt the itch to paint again, because the artist in his brain urged him to and not because he felt pressured, he thinks he has never felt happier.

it doesn't quite look right, it needs to be darker here. a stroke of dark blue. yeah, that looks much better.

just a spot of black here, a tiny inkling of black on the canvas. yes, that's perfect.

he steps away from his easel after multiple hours of painting - when he's submerged in his hobby like this, he doesn't even notice the way time passes or the way his stomach rumbles when he gets hungry - and looked at it in contentment.

it's beautiful, the way it always is when the paintbrush touches the material lead by his heart rather than his hand. when it's a passion project rather than something he does because he feels like less of an artist if he didn't.

then he realizes something and his stomach drops, he sets down the brush and the palette and his hands starts to sweat and get clammy; the subject of his latest piece looks just like you.

the air gets thick around him and he finds it hard to breathe, so much so that he has to take a few moments and sit down to gather his scrambled thoughts.

you, someone who he just met, inspired his art. he drew you without even realizing it. his heart lead him to the painted photo of you manifested from the talent of his hand right in front of him.

does he like you that much already?

and this hits him hard because only now is he realizing it. along with the realization is him remembering that this is something he's never experienced before. sure, he's had his fair share of partners before, but he was never enamoured with them to the point of unconsciously painting them or making them the muse of his art. in fact, most of the time, the reason why he made them the focus was because they asked it of him. perhaps he used to rush into relationships too early? he didn't feel a strong emotional connection with his former partners, but he wanted to feel the love so many artists before him had described, only true, pure love was hard to find. and now here you are, making him feel things he's never felt before.

he's not going to let it slip away from him. not if it's real. not if you feel it too -- and god, he hopes you do.

within a span of a few months, he comes to the conclusion that you don't mind him.

he has no idea whether you actually like him romantically or not, but the way you aren't bothered by him walking you from class to class, then doing your schoolwork with him was a good sign. you were even starting to hang out with him more than you hung out with shoko -- which wasn't necessarily a bad thing. your relationship with the girl wasn't deteriorating. it's just another case of you meeting and being friends back when you were different people and then not being as compatible as you are now. you're still friends, that you're sure of, just not as close.

you and geto study together although you had different courses. you still had some subjects in common, specifically the general education subjects, and you enjoyed each other's company enough that you still study in the other's presence though you had no idea what they were reading about.

you and geto grab lunch together. at first, it was just spotting the other sitting alone in the dining hall, but then it became some sort of unspoken understanding -- you and him sit together unless there was something that kept you from each other, like an exam or a class or a project that needed to be done, but those instances were rare as you did your best to avoid them.

and over time, you because comfortable enough with geto that you would rant to him about a variety of things that ranges from difficult topics that you had so much trouble with no matter how hard you tried, asshole professors, bitchy groupmates who you guessed were only there because of generational wealth or nepotism, or failed projects which was the case right now.

"there's no such thing as a failed artwork." geto glanced at you as you walked back from campus to your dorms.

"well that's easy for you to say, your stuff always looks good." you huff at him looking away. "'t's not fair. you're way too talented."

he laughs at that, it's lighthearted, easy, the way things always are with you. there's not a dull moment and there's not a difficult moment. he loves that about you, and he loves it so much he doesn't mind if you experience a couple of difficult moments together. it's something all lovers go through, he's aware. he knows you're worth weathering storms for, so long as you do the same for him.

"guess you're right, but since i'm an artist, i also know it's not always about how the piece looks, but the way you feel while making it." he stops to stand in front of you. "if it makes you happy, if it sets your soul free. drawings, paintings, music, these are things that aren't meant to look or sound a certain way; they're meant to be expressions of the soul. so as long as you're able to express yourself through it, it's nothing to be ashamed of." his voice trails off by the end into a gentle whisper. then he tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. his hands moves to your cheek, down to your jawline, and lastly to your lips. "that and i can't get myself to believe an angel like you could ever create something ugly."

you laughed softly, holding onto his wrist and nuzzling the side of your face into his open palm. "guess you're right."

"aren't i always?"

neither of you could deny your feelings for the other then. there was something blooming, and you knew you were compatible; you had to give it a shot.

the shot came in the form of geto asking you to watch a movie with him.

he was the first one to arrive at the movie theater, wearing his usual all black attire, but this time, his hair was down cascading down his back. it was the first time you've not seen him sporting a man bun in real life. the only time you've ever had the pleasure of seeing it is whenever you were on facetime and he was busy painting his newest artwork. even then, his hair wasn't fully down. some strands just flew from the hair elastic and he couldn't be bothered to fix it, not that you minded. you loved the look of focus and love on his face as he worked on his pieces. the whole world seems to disappear to him and all that's left is his boundless imagination and the limitless canvas in front of him.

he greeted you with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, "you ready to see some zombos dying?"

you really did not expect geto suguru to be this adorable and shy. because although he's not afraid to express himself, sometimes dipping into darker, more macabre arts, and although he will speak his mind on certain topics in class, here he is almost shoulder to shoulder with you when he desperately wants to hold your hand. you're so warm and comforting to him, all he wants is to envelop your smaller hands in his, run the calloused pads of his thumb over the back of your hand or your knuckles, but he can't get himself to do so. he can't even watch the movie properly, his attention is entirely on you. he watches the rise and fall of your chest through his peripheral vision, your fingers toying with your hair, and your cute little face that twists and relaxes with laughter or grimace as the movie continues to roll on screen.

he doesn't mind how he's not getting his money's worth by not watching the movie, you're more interesting to him and he wants to gauge how you'll react to him doing certain things. like shuffling closer to you so you're finally actually shoulder to shoulder with the other. he silently wonders if your heart's beating as fast as his is because he's sure he can feel his in his fingertips and hear it in his ears. he really hopes you don't feel it or hear it. then after a few minutes, he presses his arm against you, yearning to feel some of your warmth against him, to his surprise though, you shiver -- and because of the darkness, he misses the way your cheeks burn up.

"are you cold?" he murmurs softly, careful not to disturb the other movie goers, but just as you were about to respond no, he was already shrugging his jacket off, exposing the black turtleneck tank top he had on. it looked like the exact one people on the internet have been raving about, the ones fanartists have been drawing on their favorite character because of how good it looked. geto was no exception.

it hugged him just right, highlighting the muscles on his chest, his pecs, and his abdomen. it made his biceps pop right with your eyes before you could blink and pick your jaw off of the floor. no words could express how good he looked, how much the tight fitting garment fit him and accentuated his features, his body type, but all you had to say is if he wore a cocky smirk with that, he would have looked nothing short of a young god.

but he was the opposite of that.

instead of abusing his newly found power and demanding women to worship at his feet, he smiled at you his small crescent-eyed smile while handing you the jacket. "here, you can take this. don't want you getting too chilly now do we?"

you hoped that either geto did not see the blush on your face or that he thinks it's just from you "being chilly" even though you were not. while yes, you could not deny that it was not toasty in the room you were currently in, the reason why you shivered had nothing to do with the temperature and everything to do with the person you are with.

"n-no, geto! it's alright, i think you might need it more than me." you said, referencing to how he was not wearing clothes that had sleeves.

"nonsense!" he whisper shouted. his face was close to yours and he was facing you. you could smell the peppermint in his breath riddled with the sweet caramel popcorn and root beer he just had, but it didn't smell bad -- regardless of his cursed technique, his breath never smelled awful, he had it a habit to carry mints or gums with him at all times. "i'll be alright, you're my main priority." his face shown some semblance of tenderness that was quickly replaced by timidness. "was that too cheesy for a first date? sorry."

utterly smitten by the man, you disregarded your opinion of whether or not you agreed with him, whether it was indeed cheesy or not, and just smiled and laughed quietly. "i think it's perfect, geto." you reassured him, taking the jacket from him and draping it onto your own form.

perfect. perfect. perfect.

that was the word that always graced his mind every time he thought of you. you were absolutely perfect for him. objectively, maybe you did have some flaws the way all human beings do, but suguru does not look at those as flaws because they're a part of you. they're just your little quirks that he has grown to love. they're one of the reasons why you're you, and as a result, one of the reasons why he fell for you as hard as he did. they're all things that helped you guys stay together and be attracted to each other though it may be five years since you've met.

you're both still stuck in the honeymoon phase, it's been a number of years since you've graduated from university, you both have stable jobs now, a steady amount of income, enough to pay for rent, taxes, and every necessirty in between, and the future has never looked brighter for the two of you.

so bright in fact that suguru thinks it's time to take your relationship to a new level; one you've talked about before and agree with, you're ready and you want it with each other.

he added some finishing touches to the painting and made sure the velvet jewelry box was already securely in his pocket, then threw a gold-colored silk cloth over his artwork and waiting for you to come back home to him.

he already knew what your answer was gonna be, he's ninety nine percent sure that it's gonna be the answer he wants, but he can't help the anxiety that's crawling up his throat like poison ivy. it makes his tap his feet on the hardwood floor at an annoying fast rate that would alarm him if you were the one to be doing it. it makes him hyperaware of his surroundings, each drip, drop of the leaking faucet he promises to fix, the whirr of the fan in the corner of the room, each ticking of the clock tick, tock, tick, tock.

just five more minutes and you would be home.

time was molasses being poured from its can, so suguru daydreamed about the future he wanted with you: your dream wedding with all the important people in your life surrounding you, your favorite love song playing in the background, one of his paintings is on its steady easel, standing by where you sat together during the reception. you're at the top position in your job, less responsibilities, but more time to spend with him, his art's displayed at the biggest exhibits in japan, and he's never felt better.

the sound of the doorbell jiggling breaks him from his daydream though, and he jumps. his hands are shaking again, and he can feel his heart seemingly trying to beat its way out of his chest -- and maybe that's exactly what the muscular organ's trying to do, trying its best to find its way to you. after all, too many times has he said my heart belongs to you, maybe its time it actually happens.

the door opens to your tired looking face, worn down from work and stress, yet the moment you see him, it's like the tension dissolves into thin air. you light up like your neighbor's extravagant christmas lights and you throw your arms around him, "i'm home, suguru." mumbled into the cloth on his shoulder.

when your eyes drift to the covered easel behind him, your smile widens -- you never stopped being supportive and utterly in awe of his work. "you finished it?" your excitement has doubled because suguru hasn't shown you even a glimpse of this masterpiece. usually with his other workers, he'd allow you to watch him work or at least give you a sneak peek of it, but that wasn't the case for this particular one. it made you all the more curious about what it is and why he was keeping it a secret.

"yeah," suguru replies, pulling away from you and rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "i uh. i really like this one." he approaches the canvas uncharacteristically silent. most of the time when revealing the final product to you, he's ecstatic. his passion carries onto his words, making them more lively and energetic.

what is it with this one?

"here, lemme just-" he grabs one end of the fabric and pulls, revealing the piece to you. a large chunk of his heart and soul - he would argue that it's the majority of his heart and soul, in fact - all spread out for you on canvas.

you gasped, walking forward slowly. once you were face-to-face with it, you felt the need to run your fingers over it, something suguru knew, leading to him nodding his head, non verbally saying that you could do it.

it's a painting of your first date: shadows were cast upon your face and you were speechless at the colors suguru used to do so, so meticulous, accurate, and stunning. he was wearing the tight turtleneck tank top, his jacket on your shoulders and your hand was in his -- he tried the lay-your-hand-palm-up-on-the-chair's-arm trick to get you to hold hands with him and it worked, to his surpise.

it was almost spot on, you wondered how he got every detail right, because the only thing that was different between your actual first date vs the painting of your first date was that in the painting, you had a diamond ring on your left right finger.

your eyes widened, and you whipped around to see your boyfriend down on one knee. "starlight, you know i've never been good with words. i express myself through my art. i lay my heart on each piece i make everyday, but today, i choose to take a break and lay my heart in your hands instead. will you marry me?"

i get: reblog

you get: milk and cookies

[spanishskulduggery]

often i come across sentences in spanish where i know what the words mean separately, but they mean something a bit different when put together so i don't understand it. i can only think of one example right now and it's "qué lindo"

i've seen "qué lindo" often and would translate it as "that's pretty", but my mom said growing up she always understood it to mean "how pretty, so cute!"

i was just wondering if there is a common list of Spanish sentences where the words have different meanings when in a sentence altogether.

So, this may be difficult for me to fully explain [not your question, it's the exact linguistics of it] but I'll do my best

I believe what you're describing is in fact an idiomatic expression; although in my head the qué + something expressions are different than what I'm imagining when I think of idiomatic expressions [I'm thinking like "raining cats and dogs", that sort of thing]

But you're right that it would translate as "how nice/cute" etc

I'll include some of the qué ones - essentially, in this context qué comes out like "how/so" not "what"

qué bien = how nice / that's good / wonderful, great

qué bonito/a = how nice / how cute / lovely qué lindo/a = how nice / how cute / lovely [generally masculine, but could be feminine in some contexts with feminine nouns, because bonito/a and lindo/a are adjectives]

qué lástima = what a shame

qué pena = how sad / what a shame / what a pity

qué asco = how disgusting / that's disgusting / gross

qué rico = delicious, tasty

qué susto = what a fright / that scared me / that was surprising

qué horror = how awful / how horrible, how horrifying / how terrible, how terrifying

qué sorpresa = what a surprise

qué fuerte = so strong / so loud [qué fuerte can also be an expression of surprise or disbelief sort of like saying “oh my God!” or “wow!”; in general though, fuerte means “strong” or when talking about the volume of things it’s “loud”]

qué alivio = what a relief

qué barbaridad = what nonsense

¿Qué más da? = Who cares? / What does it matter? [lit. “what more does it give?”, it’s like “whatever” or an expression of disinterest]

You'll also see them in longer expressions like qué amable eres "you're so nice" or qué asco me das "you disgust me" or "you're gross"

There are quite a lot of these; and with adjectives it can be a little trickier. By themselves like qué bonito could be “so cute” or “how lovely”; if you’re talking about a person or a thing specifically it might change like qué bonito estás or qué bonita estás “how cute you look”; another one is qué guapa estás “you look so pretty” for women

And some other idioms that show up that are more... I don't know, "idiomatic adverbial phrases". They’re idiomatic but it’s less like little sayings and more “oh I need to know this”:

no hay de qué = you’re welcome [more formal than de nada; it’s kind of like “there’s no reason (to thank me)”]

a duras penas = hardly, barely, “by the skin of your teeth” [also seen as apenas which is the same thing]

a lo largo de = throughout

en sí = “in and of itself”

entre sí = amongst themselves

en balde = in vain [also, en vano, but el balde means “bucket” or “pail”]

por lo visto = apparently

de toda la vida = lifelong

a plena luz del día = “in broad daylight” [actually pretty literal, it’s “in full light of day”]

sin rodeos = bluntly, “no beating around the bush”

a tientas = “fumbling”, grasping, by touch [lit. “by touching” or “by reaching out”]

de moda = in fashion, fashionable [used with estar]

a solas = one-on-one, in private [lit. “by alone”]

a espaldas = behind someone’s back, in secret [lit. “by/at backs”]

de oídas = (from) hearsay, he-said-she-said, indirectly, “through the grapevine”

a la vez = simultaneously, at the same time

a su vez = in turn (used as “regarding” or “concerning these” if that makes sense)

a secas = plainly / with nothing else added

sin embargo = nevertheless

no obstante = nevertheless, notwithstanding

por eso = therefore

por supuesto = of course

por consiguiente = consequently, as a consequence

por lo demás = otherwise

por otro lado = “on the other hand” 

en cambio = in exchange, swapped (for), in return

de ida y vuelta = round-trip

de vuelta = on the way back

(el) libre albedrío = free will

(el) ser humano = human being [el ser is “a being”; ser humano can thus be “being human” as a verb or “human being” as a noun; a decent pun]

ni en sueños = “not in my wildest dreams” [lit. “not even in dreams”]

las bellas artes = fine arts [not “beautiful arts” which is everyone’s first instinct]

a largo plazo = long-term

a corto plazo = short-term

mientras tanto = meanwhile

de todo corazón = with all your heart, wholeheartedly

a (la) medida = custom-made, customized

por cierto = “by the way...”

¿Cómo? = Huh? [when it’s not “how”, cómo is the commonly used word for “huh?” or “what’s that?” when you don’t hear someone]

de vez en cuando = from time to time [lit. “from time in when”]

menos mal (que + predicate) = “at least + predicate”, “thankfully...” [lit. “less bad”; you say this very often it’s like looking on the bright side... like menos mal que llegamos temprano “thankfully we got there early” or menos mal que no ha llovido todavía “at least it hasn’t rained yet / at least the rain didn’t start yet”]

de perlas = “(coming) in handy”, useful [lit. “of pearls”; usually used with venir, it’s like me viene de perlas “I could really use this” or “this is really handy (right now)”]

English tends to make a lot of compound words while Spanish doesn’t so much - so recién nacido/a is “newborn” [lit. “recently born”] or recién casado/a is “newlywed” [lit. “recently married”]

All of that to say, they may come across as a bit strange or a LOT strange depending on your current vocabulary and your circumstances

-

Also I’m not including the tener expressions which are common across all Romance Languages; but tener hambre for example is “to be hungry” or tener sueño is “to be sleepy” but literally mean “to have hunger” and “to have dream/sleepiness”... different from tener un sueño “to have a dream” like a goal

The ones that are coming to mind a lot are related to prepositions and there are plenty I’m not including BUT I like scanning wordreference for the ones with a or certain prepositions like a, de and por

And then some basic idiomatic expressions you should maybe know that are kind of like sayings:

(llover) a cántaros = to be raining cats and dogs [lit. “to rain by the bucket/pitcher”]

la media naranja = soulmate, better half [lit. “half an orange”; you may also see this as el alma gemela which is “kindred spirit” or literally “twin soul”]

el mundo es un pañuelo = “what a small world” [lit. “the world is a handkerchief”]

de tal palo tal astilla = chip off the old block, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree [lit. “from such a stick of wood, such a splinter”]

el pez gordo = “important person”, “the boss”, “VIP”, “fatcat”, “head honcho” [lit. “the fat fish”; anyone important could be el pez gordo and it can be said in a tongue in cheek way or seriously; sort of like saying eres el pez gordo “you’re the boss”]

(de) carne y hueso = “flesh and blood” [lit. “flesh/meat and bone”]

entre la espada y la pared = between a rock and a hard place [lit. “between the sword and the wall”]

valer la pena = to be worth it, to be worth the effort [lit. “to be worth the pain/trial/ordeal/sorrow”]

meter la pata = to mess up, to screw up [lit. “to stick one’s foot (in it)”]

la químera = a pipe dream, a fantasy [not just a “chimera”]

(el) terreno pantanoso = “thin ice”, dangerous terrain (sort of like “watch yourself”) [lit. “swampy terrain”]

a lo hecho pecho = what’s done is done [lit. “to what is done, chest”; kind of like “just deal with it” probably related to the heart]

agua pasada no mueve molino = “let bygones be bygones”, “it doesn’t matter now” [lit. “passed water doesn’t move the mill”]

(costar/valer) un ojo de la cara = “(to cost/be worth) an arm and a leg” [lit. “to cost/be worth an eye from the face”]

el príncipe azul = “prince charming”, “knight in shining armor” [lit. “blue prince”, probably related to blue bloods, or nobility]

estar en paz = “to be even”, no one owes anything / debts are settled [lit. “to be at peace”]

tomar el pelo (a alguien) = to fool someone, “to pull someone’s leg” [lit. “to grab the hair (of someone)”]

la flor y la nata = “the best of the best”, “best and brightest” [lit. “flower and cream”]

(de) mala leche = “bad blood” / “in a bad mood” [lit. “bad milk”; it is used very generally and widely, but anything mala leche immediately conjures up extreme negativity when describing people]

(ser) pan comido = “easy-peesy”, (to be) very easy  [lit. “(to be) eaten bread”]

como uña y carne = “thick as thieves”, “the best of friends”, to be inseparable [lit. “to be like a nail (fingernail/toenail) and the flesh/meat”]

a flor de piel = “thin-skinned” / “heart on your sleeve” / “close to the surface” [lit. “to the flower of the skin”... it means that something is very close to the surface of your skin, so it can be that someone’s reaction to something is very obvious, or it can mean that someone is feeling very vulnerable, OR it could mean that someone’s nerves are frayed - it all depends on the context and the other words used. In Spanish if someone has no poker face you can use this expression, or if someone is really on edge you could use this expression. All it means is that something is more obvious than normal and you can clearly see someone’s reactions emotionally]

As always let me know if there are more examples or explanations of things you’d like. I’m not 100% sure I talked about the same things you were asking about

[mxjackparker]

If you're thinking about getting into online fandom roleplaying, whether you're new or coming back to it, here's a post about how to do that!

I've seen posts going around recently about how online fandom roleplaying is dying off, but there are still thriving roleplaying spaces for those interested enough to look. Here's how to get into it!

Consider what you want to roleplay:

What fandoms do you want to roleplay and how popular are they?

Do you want to be completely anonymous?

Would you like to send rapid shorter responses?

Would you like a long-term roleplay, or a one-off?

Are you seeking NSFW content?

Also, who do you want to roleplay and how much do you know about that character or their setting? Do a quick bit of research by looking at their fan wiki or taking another look at the content the character comes from. Look up a few memorable phrases they say and mannerisms they have, to make roleplaying them authentic.

Decide what website to use:

Depending on what kinds of things you want to roleplay, and your style preferences. you may want to choose a different site. Here are some examples.

Rolechat.org: An anonymous roulette type chat site, where you are matched with a random person using the same tags as you. You can add tags for fandoms or pairing you wish to roleplay with. Roleplays here are fast-paced, have shorter replies, and you can find many potential roleplayers under each tag. There is an 18+ section, however there is no age verification to access it, so I would not recommend any NSFW roleplaying here as you can't know the partner's age. You can also save a log of your roleplays!

Tumblr: If you search certain tags, often [fandom] rp will do, you'll find roleplayers and people seeking roleplay partners! A roleplay blog is an option, but you can also find partners to roleplay with in your DMs.

CheRP: A forum where you can post ads to seek roleplay partners. You can get verified here, and choose to only roleplay with those who are over 18. Those using this site are much more likely to want to plan roleplays and do something long-term, and may exchange e-mails or social media with you!

Discord: If you're someone seeking group roleplays, this may be your best bet! There are many discord servers which cater to finding roleplay partners, to be found on disboard.org, and if you join a large roleplay server for this then there will be ads by smaller servers for you to find your niche! You can add friends on here, keep track of roleplays and search through them afterwards, plus chat instantly.

There are many more - and you can feel free to mix and match!

Learn the etiquette:

You'll learn the culture of the site you use as you go, but you should know the basics before you start.

When you want to speak OOC (out of character), you should use brackets ((like this)) or [like this], and in this way you can give background info on a scenario or make suggestions about how the roleplay should go.

Make a dedicated roleplay e-mail, in case someone wants to exchange socials and/or e-mails after a really good roleplay!

Prepare some starters or ideas:

I know it's nerve-wracking, but once you've decided what you want to roleplay and where... it's time to put yourself out there! Write up a starter, or an outline of a roleplay you'd like to work on, or an ad for a roleplay partner, and lets get going!

If you want to help out with my current project about online roleplay, I'm surveying online fandom roleplayers for a book I'm writing here! Find more info about OOC: Exploring Online Fandom Roleplay here.

[stupidjewishwhiteboy]

So I was gonna wait until the video would be released on Youtube, but I think it might be a Nebula exclusive, so y'all will just have to trust me.

There's this Youtuber/Nebula guy named RealLifeLore who does geopolitical analysis stuff. I had already stopped watching a lot of his stuff purely for the petty reason that he often puts emphasis on words and phrases in a weird way, but I had noticed he had done some videos analyzing and summarizing what's been going on in Israel/Gaza/Lebanon/etc. so I started rewatching. And his analysis is actually relatively fair, often stating the claims of both sides and then whether or not those claims hold up. Sometimes this means he'll bring up crank ideas that I feel are implausible from what I know (there's a bit in the video I'm about to talk about where he talks about the Hannibal Directive aka whether or not the IDF intentionally tried to kill hostages being kidnapped so they couldn't be taken hostage, which from what I've heard isn't actually supported by anything but seems to be believed by a lot of people who think Israelis are ontologically evil).

Anyways, he did a video entitled "The October 7th Attacks" which is a comprehensive analysis of, well, the October 7th attacks, which I thought was pretty good (aside from giving the Hannibal Directive credibility). However, it brought to a head an issue that's been boiling up for a while for me, that being that RealLifeLore's pronunciation of Hebrew words is so bad it is legitimately offensive.

"Simchat Torah" as "Sim CHAT Torah" (this one is actually inexcusable, if you've done so much research you should know how Hebrew speakers pronounced a "ch" RealLifeLore)

"Sukkot" as "Su-cot" (ok that one isn't that bad)

"Yom Kippur" as "Yom Ki-purr" (that one also isn't terrible)

"Zikim" as "Zik'em" (oddly enough, I think he pronounced it correctly the first and third times and only did it weird on his second mention)

"Yiftach" as "Yif-tatch"

"Re'im" as "Ray-im"

"Odaya" as "Odie-a"

"Kibbutzim and Moshavim" as "Kibbutzem and Moshavem" (OK I might be overly pedantic here)

"Be'eri" as "Be'rry" (this was a problem of cadence not pronunciation per se)

Anyways, that's from the first 16 minutes, I may do more later

[wyn-n-tonic]

Hi hi!

So I'm considering approaching my bosses to ask if I can put together a presentation (that can possibly be adopted into our training model) regarding deconstructing ableist language within our field. I don't foresee them saying no but I do think that they may tell me I'm still too new and they don't want to put extra responsibilities on me. Even though I'd be volunteering to do this and I have volunteered myself to take on next steps earlier in the past, my bosses are very big into making sure their employees are taking care of themselves first and foremost and I have felt safe in disclosing my own conditions to them so they are aware that I sometimes have limitations that I don't feel comfortable speaking up about and they will do so for me. In preparation for that possibility I was thinking of actually going ahead and putting this together anyway because I think that it's something that could benefit the writing community as well.

A big reason why I think that this is so important (and can be used in all fields but is a huge deal in my own) is because disabled people are often times un- or under-employed. So when it comes to my field, we are lacking in representation of the very community that we serve. This leads to a lot of outdated language and it leads to a lot of inaccurate understanding of the individual that they are serving. The language that is often used regarding disabled people is language that paints us as sad and evokes pity. So somebody who has never worked with this or that person automatically has an image in their head based on that language and that is what they go into interactions with and it leads to poor experiences where caregivers and families and individuals themselves feel unseen and unheard and uncared for by the very people who are supposed to help amplify their voices.

How this could benefit the writing community is helping with ensuring that we're not intentionally excluding an entire group of people from narratives. I've talked about this before but I don't expect to see myself in every story nor do I want to see myself in every story but I'm very good at picking up on when people like me are not wanted or welcome in a story.

That being said, I'd really love to hear from other disabled people regarding things that have been said to them that wasn't meant to come off as aggressive or dismissive or ableist but did anyway. Two of my biggest phrases that I plan to focus on are suffers from and struggles with.

For example, I've had somebody say, "she suffers from hearing loss," about me. Well... no. I don't suffer from my hearing loss and I'm not some half drowned kitten in a thunderstorm. What happened is that I had an infection that, as a result of poor access to medical care, I experienced partial hearing loss in my left ear. This is something that compounds on top of my auditory processing disorder that I experience as a symptom of my cognitive disability, which is autism and ADHD.

I hope that the difference between the original statement and the way that I presented my own abilities was noticeable and I welcome discussion and suggestion from abled and disabled people alike. Obviously, I'm prioritizing disabled voices but abled voices do have their space in this conversation. Why? Because it has to be a conversation and it has to be about learning and no gaps can be closed if abled people feel as though they can't ask questions or can't speak as somebody who loves a disabled person who has also experienced disrespect of language.

I also want to hear from queer and BIPOC people with disabilities on this topic because it has been my experience while working in this field that both populations are underserved and language plays a huge part in that not only by being ableist but also by being anti-LGBTQ+ or racist. My goal with undertaking this project isn't only to help my colleagues address and check their biases in real time but also to become a better advocate and hopefully help to increase services for people in my community who need it and are ignored.

[thereal-sillyguy]

I don't usually make posts like this, but this is serious.

I'm not from the USA, nor do I live there. I'm canadian, but I have friends and people I know that live there and this is an issue. I couldn't help with anything other then signing petitions, because at the time I wasn't sure if I should post these or not.

This is about KOSA. While I don't know much about it, heres what I've gathered from articles.

The "Kids Online Safety Act" (KOSA) is a bill that was introduced to the United States Senate in February 2022 and reintroduced in May 2023; the bill "sets out requirements" to protect minors from harm on social media platforms.

This does NOT protect minors from harm on social media. This limits knowledge and safe spaces for children and teenagers. Additionally covered platforms must provide minors (or their parents or guardians) with certain safeguards, such as settings that restrict access to minors' personal data; and parents or guardians with tools to supervise minors' use of a platform, such as control of privacy and account settings. This can and WILL put children in abusive households in danger, this will limit lgbtq+ children/teenagers access to safe spaces and resources even further, this will not HELP youths mental health nor provide them safety. This act may aswell be putting them in more danger because that is what it will do for multiple people. Children/Teenagers in abusive households will no longer be able to get support from online if they are consistently monitored, because whatever they say will be SEEN. Apps and websites such as tiktok, discord, ao3 and multiple others will likely be removed, shutdown, monitored or banned in the USA. This not only limits the ability to spread awareness, but give support and help others. The bill considers awareness of ED's, su!c!dªl thoughts, lgbtq+ and discussion of race (as phrased in an article) as "glamorizing" it or romanticizing it. While that can be the case, more often then not there is more awareness about how to help, learn and discuss these things rather then glamorizing them. Children/Teenagers 13 and under would be banned from any social media + their platforms, and teenagers until the age of 17-18 would need parental consent to be able to use these platforms.

here are some articles about Kosa.

This is not okay.

If you think this doesn't effect you because you are not in the states, then you're wrong. Even if it doesn't directly effect you, it can effect any and all of your online friends in and out of the states.

"What can I do?"

Spread awareness - make posts like this, reblog and like posts like these, share this on any possible media platform. Don't let them sweep this under the rug.

Sign petitions - Sign petitions, simple as that. I will have multiple petitions linked here. Some have the ability to donate to them if you can - even a dollar might help.

Do research - Research about KOSA, and then spread awareness.

Don't let them do this.

They are endangering youth all over the world. Su!c!d3 rates could and likely WILL skyrocket in youth from this because the online world is their safe place. Their support and their friends, and the information they get to help themselves exists HERE. Please spread awareness. Please add onto this and do research. Please correct me if I'm wrong on certain points, but don't let this be sweeped under the rug.

PETITIONS YOU CAN SIGN-

[molabuddy]

weirdly specific art post question - #8 ✨ I think this one was the file naming conventions but I may be wrong since I don’t wanna double check so

filenames question is #9 ! but i'll answer it anyway

ummm... Its Complicated. sometimes when i'm feeling A Vibe i give my file a cool name (usually a lyric or the title of a song i was vibing with while drawing. or maybe a phrase that was banging around in my brain. it sometimes becomes part of the tumblr caption) (im in the splatoon folder for this just bc its the most broad and recent array of images in one place)

(see: the cool filenames)

if i Don't have a vibe i often name it stuff like. um. well.

(see: the dumb filenames)

ALSO i will answer 8 anyway which is 8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

also complicated !! i feel like im often starting and then abandoning little ideas, and then months to years later digging them back up and giving them a new coat of paint

i guess when it comes to stuff i've fully lost interest in, I had an oc story that i made a lot of art and put a lot of time into when i was younger? about like. two intertwined families and missing people and magic-induced mental illness and a cabinet man. but i kind of hate all the ideas from it now >_>; the only things i think fondly about from it are the characters themselves, but everything abt them would need an incredible amount of rethinking