#i obviously know i am very overdramatic in many situations

[yogurthoviz]

My head is so full of thoughts im gonna explode first of all i completely hate how noah looks on the new polish ver of the raven cycle (he looks like one of the da vinki twins idk:,( ) (they also did adam dirty idc)(im probably still gonna buy it)

second of all cdth completely crushed me already im on page 60(ronan trying his best to cope with adam changing)(im gonna weep)(ronan i hate you bitch stop being so relatable)(i want to shred this fucking book im so sad please)

Third of all i hate trc why are the characters so relatable why are they so human aaaaaaarghagahgah i hate it here wtf again the fucking motive of change is gonna make me puke and not sleep for a week

[onelocket]

Being Fyodor’s selective mute lover

Fyodor Dostoevsky x GN!Reader

PROMPTING GUIDE -- You’re Fyodor’s high-school lover, who is selective mute and uses notes to communicate. How would he tend to you in school hours?

INVOLVES -- mentions of violence, one mention of a feminine nickname (belladonna). not much warnings thankfully

I do want to mention that I am selective mute myself, but there may be points within this post that other selective mute people will not find relation to.

THEME -- mainly fluff, high-school au

WORD COUNT -- 2.3k

⚘

Fyodor always has his eyes on you

Of course, don’t take it the wrong way. He has other stuff to deal with than being a stalker of yours, and besides—you two are already dating anyway. What more will he not know about you? Even if you’re selective mute, he always seems to know everything. But moving on, whenever you and Fyodor share a class period, he will mainly spend that hour or two watching over you. And you don’t even know it.

Because his chair is always ‘seemingly’ behind you, he has more access to you than you do to him. Unless, of course, you wouldn’t care if he sees you turn your head to him every minute of class. But you do, and with the facts that the teacher could see you do that too—you pretty much.. never turn around unless needed. There will be times where he softly calls you, just to get your head turning around to look at him. You think there isn’t an exact reason for this, but what you don’t know is that Fyodor does so just to see your expression. One’s expression tells a lot about their current emotion, so he uses that as an advantage to at least see how you were feeling. Especially since you don’t speak and can’t get your thoughts out through words.

Even if you guys aren’t in class, let’s say; eating lunch or attending a school event, Fyodor will always be watching you. If not close to you, then from a distance. It’s to ensure you were safe, and also to watch whoever tries to talk to you—and he was always taking note of who they were. There are times where other students notice his pattern, but Fyodor will always be able to make up an excuse to trick their foolish minds, for he does not want to admit it to others. But for closer students like Gogol and Sigma, perhaps even Dazai, he admits the truth to them. And if he ever does admit it to Dazai? The look on your face can be so funny when you hear Dazai’s overdramatic words. "Hey belladonna, don’t you find it bizarre that your boyfriend still stalks you?" "…??"

Sometimes, when the staring becomes too much of a boring activity for him—mostly when nothing dangerous seems to be around to threaten you, Fyodor may end up walking close and hold your hand to let you know of his presence. Of course, you do not mind. It’s one of the many ways that he can comfort you, especially if wherever you would be was somewhere full of students.

Your notes are never thrown away

Since phones aren’t a common occasion in your school, your small little notepads are always the resort to your interaction. There will be very, very rare times that you willingly speak to continue the chat, but never had anyone received this treatment other than a selected few. And obviously, Fyodor would be one of that few. Yet for how rare it happens, it’s almost forgettable.

You tend to use your notepads to everyone, regardless of who they may be. Your high school is pretty supportive, well—at least that’s what their surface was to you, so the students and teachers take the time to let you write your reply or inquiry to them. Inquiry—because you’d never start a conversation unless absolutely needed. Paper can cost quite a bit too, you know? It would be a waste to use them on situations that aren’t even necessary to you, especially ink. You sometimes use pencils, but you always have pens rather than pencils in your pockets, so ink takes the majority.

Your boyfriend is no exception to the notes. Since you can’t bring yourself to speak every time, you have to use notes to continue a conversation with Fyodor. And he doesn’t mind, for he always replies afterward and even asks if you’re okay after the chat. He even helps you out as well, insisting that he can keep the paper so that no more trash would stay in your bag. Because whenever you’re done with an interaction, you always keep the notes in your bag to refrain from any ‘blackmail’ or have a stranger hold your notes, and he knows that too.

But what you don’t know is that your boyfriends ‘act of kindness’ is pretty much just to brag, if we’re talking surface level here. Fyodor keeps some of the many small notes in his desk drawer—especially those notes which held such cheesy and sweet words from you. For having classmates like Gogol and Dazai, it’s not avoidable to have his drawer opened sometimes. And whenever any of the two see your cute little "Can we head to the nearby tea shop after class…? I miss spending more time with you, Fedya.. ♡", it’s best assured that you’d receive teasing from the other party after. And Fyodor could only chuckle at the scene.

He speaks for you when needed

As stated, you always use notes to interact with others. Some don’t mind, some do. Those who don’t always seem to have their reasons as they either don’t genuinely understand why you’re selective mute, or are either just complete ignorant people. Nonetheless, being with those types of people always makes your stomach upset. While Fyodor was in the same school, it’s not every second where he’s always with you, so for times that you’re left alone with such ignorant people… oh, just how badly would you love to run away and find your boyfriend.

There are times where, while Fyodor wasn’t nearby—a student will ask you "Why are you selective mute?", and damn does it always make you nearly cry. With the quietest hiccup replying first, you look down, trying to not let them see the upset look you had on as your stomach formed uncomfortable knots. Oh god.. write faster.. You’d think, fingers shaking as they slide the ink on your paper to form words. You lift the paper up, "I’m scared to speak. Please don’t push this question further." earning them either a confused look—or an apologetic one as they become quick to say sorry for asking that. Of course, you always accept it..

But for situations where teachers take place, especially recitations, you have very little to use to keep your comfort. There are teachers that let you write down your answer, but there are those who will deny that alternative and pretty much demand for you to talk. As much as you hated speaking, Fyodor hated the sight of these teachers forcing you something you clearly could not do. If only he wasn’t a student with a reputation to keep, then perhaps he would have been yelling at them each time it happens to you. But of course, Fyodor was a man of patience and held a collected demeanor.

So instead of starting an issue, Fyodor raises his hand before standing up from his seat. Gaining you and the teachers attention, he will politely ask if he, as your boyfriend, can help and speak for you. Thankfully, because of his ‘position’ and valid reason, he’s mostly allowed to help you, the teacher letting him walk closer to you so he could ask what you want to say. Fyodor always kisses your worries off first, peppering them light on your cheeks without a care on what the other students will think of. And for the teacher? Well, he can always shoot back another valid excuse for his affection. And besides, it always seems to help, for you end up very quietly whispering to him what you desire to say, letting him say it out loud to the class with his hand tightly holding yours. These were times you were so grateful he can still be around you in this school, and that he’s not afraid to speak for you when you need it.

"[…], Keep his protectiveness to an extent, please."

While the majority of those who talked to you were respecting and kind, a school experience can never be complete without a conflict some way or another, can’t it? Poor you, not excluded from that ‘unspoken rule’. Well, you’re thankful that you weren’t a constant target of bullying, but there just has to be some students who think they’re so good, so you still end up receiving negative treatment sometimes.

Fyodor is not a student council member by any means, in fact, he doesn’t like what kind of attention that role could bring him. However, people do know who he is, and what he seems to be capable of. Being once called a demon by the student council secretary himself, Dazai Osamu, a lot became wary and almost scared of his persona. And you were just another addition to peoples list. Well, maybe not as bad as Fyodors—since you were a very kind person to everyone nonetheless, so less saw you as a warning alone. Perhaps these less were even the people who decided to be offensive with you, unironically enough.

Even if you decided to go through with it to refrain from an angry assault, Fyodor always thinks otherwise of your decision. How dare they, insult and go on harassing you just because you can’t bring yourself to speak? Each hostile interaction made him angry. It makes him want to hurt the other party—which is a thought he never entertains. So somebody had to really be on their tail to have the demon do what he doesn’t like to. And Fyodor wasn’t the type to be afraid either, shooting the other side with such glare that usually makes them agitated and cause a larger ruckus with your boyfriend. But thankfully, you were there, somebody who’s able to try or at least make him discard any harsher words and actions until the situation was over. It wasn’t everyday somebody decides to be rude to you, and so would be his anger, so if you even let a portion of it escape Fyodor, best bet that you and him go straight to the guidance counselor.

But actually, it seemed to have happened once. One school afternoon, you were simply packing your bag in preparation for leaving before a teacher came close to you. A very close and friendly teacher, so their presence alone did not mind you. Until you hear them speak, "Dostoevsky is your boyfriend, right?" causing your head to nod and face them. They hum before they fell silent, looking away to watch the beautiful hues of sunset as they replied to you, "He has punched a guy that ended up bleeding just a few days ago, when you were absent. The other boy always defends himself by saying Fyodor shouldn’t be hostile just for his lover, which brings me here to you now. Well, I guess what I’m trying to say is.. keep his protectiveness to an extent, please."

Free time turns into ‘comforting time’

To end with some actual fluff—Fyodor’s way of comforting you is probably one of the bestest things ever set foot in your life, set aside him in general. You and him have a freer way of showing affection and communicating outside the school campus, but as long as you two were inside said building, there was a limit to it. And it made you upset, really. How comforting would it be to have your lover stay by your side every second in class and help you focus.. too bad you can’t have that.

But it’s evident enough that Fyodor sees the distress you feel, so he tends to bring you to secluded places during free time. You and his schedules weren’t so far off, so there was plenty of time to spend. He does want more than just watching you from afar, too. Whenever you two are presented with free time; usually during the afternoons, he will gently take your hand and bring you somewhere else that’s quieter—mostly the rooftop, which also has such a lovely view of the calming colors of sunset. If wherever you two first were was already quiet, then he doesn’t find need to bring you out the of room, but that finds itself to be rare because of the other students. But it does not bother you both as long as a relaxing space can be yours and his for a couple of minutes.

As Fyodor delicately presses kisses on your palms, he will occasionally stop to ask how today was going, and if anything negative happened while he had himself separated from you. He may also eventually cuddle up with you when your body seems to be asking for it. His concern was something that makes you melt, your heart beating as you reply to him with your notes. But there are times of these sessions where you feel comfortable enough to speak, starting off with a quiet voice calling his name, "F-Fyodor, I’m…okay.". And oh, just how bad his heart warms up to that too. He knows how difficult it is for you to even stutter a word, and for each word you manage to speak out—expect soft little praises from him. Nothing too major since he can’t have you overwhelmed more than you already would be, but enough to keep your face pink as he slowly tucks strands of your hair behind your ear, your eyes seeing such a faint smile that compliment his beautiful features.

Isn’t it a shock, somebody like you able to soften the heart of someone who was called a demon by your school’s student council secretary? Dazai was never known to be wrong, either. You’re a somebody who can’t speak to others because of your extreme fear, and for the eyes of others—you weren’t somebody worth to entertain even a minute to. Yet you manage to take in the attention of Fyodor, why could that be? You never knew, and maybe you never wanted to know. His love for you was enough in this high-school experience.

[numbuh]

Vibe I'm getting is that Numbuh 52 Pickup fears decommissioning because the KND is the only place he feels he belongs. It's where all his friends are. What is he supposed to do if he doesn't have the KND? I imagine this is also what drives Teen Benny too, obviously. Am I right about this interpretation?

ohhhh ;_; yeah this is part of it!!

even if his reputation is divided, he still feels at home in the knd. he has a best friend in his sector (numbuh 909) and his other teammates aren't as close to him. they care about him, but they get irritated with him often. benny LOVES the fundamentals of being an operative. he loves putting pranks to good use and working with their 2x4 tech officer (numbuh 38), helping other kids and eating sweets whenever he wants. is he the best operative? no. is he the worst? also no. that's why him being in the tnd is a no-go, even pre-fugitive.

is he one of those kids that shouldn't have joined the knd to begin with? debatable. i like the idea of the knd accomodating more for certain kids, such as those with mental health issues or similar struggles, but there are sooo many operatives it's hard to say Every kid will be helped or be open to getting help. on the other hand, yes, benny knew what he was getting into, he just made the mistake of overthinking it as he aged. the knd isn't perfect and neither is benny— both aren't "bad," it's just complicated.

i'd say 12-ish is when anxiety / paranoia fully takes over. he used to hide it better. there's also a bitterness based on: 1. missing out on certain things (in a very BG Character fashion) and 2. the bad situations that being an operative puts him in— getting stupified in op. chad and animalized in graduates, his lingering trauma from his experience in op. zero (who doesn't have trauma from zero?). things feel very unfair to him and he's super hypervigilant and overtired if he wasn't before. he wishes he had more time and fears the gap between 12 and 13 could be cut even shorter.

equally so, he's afraid of "dying"— losing his sense of self. in benny's eyes, this is literal. to him, becoming a boring basic teen is just like dying. is he being overdramatic? maybe. in all fairness, i believe the chances of decom "going wrong" or too well depend on the person and if the chamber is in perfect working order.

ie. fans headcanon the steve as a decom'd numbuh 100. it's viewed as a case where the wiped memories were just a liiiittle too intertwined with his personality / identity due to his devotion to the knd. (similarly, 86 went boy crazy after getting decom'd by accident in a comic.) of course, benny doesn't know steve is 100, but he is aware of rumors about what damage decom could do. he's also observed the trend of ex-operatives becoming villains.

benny's sector noticed his decline and it reared its ugly head on missions. falling asleep, being very irritable, panicking, etc. ultimately, they had 909 talk to him right before his 13th and he lied to her. his betrayal caught everyone but her by surprise— they thought he was too chicken to try anything! as a fugitive, he thinks his sector would understand if they were in his shoes. he misses them, he misses sector v / others and he misses all the fun parts. his main goals are to preserve those memories of friends / good times and keep his knd-era self "alive," live the way he is, avoid becoming a Guy Who Hurts People, while also juggling his negative feelings. it's A Lot and it's no wonder he's tired

the irony of it all is that: 1. as a fugitive, he acts close to a very decom'd teen. how can he pull pranks or indulge in his interests without putting himself in danger? it's similar to what the tnd has to do, but more reckless. 2. "spoiler alert" his post-decom self does not, in fact, hurt anyone. he's much happier and has more similarities to his preteen self. something "accepting growing up even if it's scary and hard" & other possible metaphors something

[witche-nerd]

The fact that ANYONE thinks Jane Eyre is some cheesy old timey novel and not a book that is both METAL and HILARIOUS should be considered a crime. During her childhood Jane is constantly told she's the woOOOrst (mostly because she's inquisitive and quite plain). In fact a priest-type dude comes into her house being like "do you know what happens to terrible little girls?" and she says "yeah they go to hell" "so what must you do so you don't end up there?" and her reply? "I guess I should just not die BITCH". Jane is 10 when she says this... her power. Then when her aunt scolds her one too many times girl spits out a Shakespeare level monologue/roast about how her aunt is awful™ and is going to be haunted by Jane's father for being such a royal bitch and her aunt is so freaked out that she literally starts being nice to her for the first time (honestly I think she was legit scared she had accidentaly adopted the Devil and did not want to mess with that shit). Oh you thought it was a soft nice little romance afterwards? Jane meets Rochester🤡 who is fifty shades of batshit. He literally spends chunks of the book fucking with his rich acquaintances just cause and sideeyeing Jane like "Did you see that?? Jane did you notice that? What do you think Jane?? Tell me your thoughts Jane, WASN'T THAT FUNNY???" And the best part is she reacts to every one of his antics with perfect composure so much so that HE freaks out and ends up dressing as a fortune teller to get her to tell him what she actually thinks. This young girl who was told to shut the fuck up at every turn is suddely called again and again to give her opinion and boy does she give it. She calls him ugly TO HIS FACE and he immediately falls in love. She in turn falls for him so hard but is so sure he couldn't possibly like her that she DRAWS A PORTRAIT OF HERSELF AND THEN A PORTRAIT OF A "BEAUTIFUL" WOMAN AS A VERY PRACTICAL WAY TO REMIND HERSELF THAT SHE'S NOT PRETTY. Gurl 😭 that's so sad and also way too overdramatic, you guys deserve each other. Meanwhile the house is very obviously haunted but Jane hasn't noticed which is peak comedy for such a usually observant protagonist. I mean, a man has a chunk of his flesh bitten off and when Rochester says everything's fine she just accepts it. "Oh but Jane gives it all up for a man see??? She has no agency" When she thinks he's going to marry another woman but still intends to keep her as a governess she has my favourite dialogue in the entire book where she says: "Just because I am poor and plain it doesn't mean I'm not still a PERSON WITH FEELINGS. IF I WAS HOT AND RICH I COULD HAVE MADE YOU AS PAINFULLY IN LOVE WITH ME AS I AM WITH YOU. I DO NOT ADRESS YOU FROM THIS MORTAL FLESH BUT IT IS MY SPIRIT ADRESSING YOURS AS THOUGH WE DIED AND STOOD AS EQUALS AT GODS FEET, AS WE ARE". She's 18 in this part of the book... HER POWER. She later finds out ON HER WEDDING DAY to Rochester that he is already married to a woman he has locked up in the attic because she'll attack anything that moves (I mean she very obviously has a mental illness which has caused her to be violent but back at that time there weren't many or even any humane options for treatment so unpopular opinion but the fact that he kept her in his house and with a maid to take care of her was probably the best he could provide her with in this situation tbh) Jane runs away and wanders the moors all alone because she knows what happened wasn't right (and this is her rational reaction, i love her and also probably same) and while half dead she finds some people who turn out to be her COUSINS (GASP), she gets a job, inherits a fortune and gets another marriage proposal like a #girlboss. But then she has a "That's so Raven" vision telling her Rochester is in trouble. Turns out his house burned down and he's now scarred and blind and his wife is dead. Accurate recreation of their reunion;

Rochester: Am I mad ugly now Jane?

Jane: Oh for sure. But you know, same as always.

Rochester with tears in his eyes: I missed that woman so much

Jane starts the story underappreciated, poor, belittled and unequal to Rochester (in terms of power). She ends the book appreciated, loaded, loved and a true equal to the man she loves. And that's the most metal thing of all.

[wrenhyperfixates]

Anything

Pairing: Loki x reader Summary: When the Avengers latest mission is to visit local schools, Loki’s insecurities start to get the better of him. But with you to there comfort him, he realizes that with you by his side, he can do anything. Warnings: a little angsty, but mainly fluff A/N: Enjoy :)

Permanent Tag List: @lucywrites02 @frostedgiant​ @lunarmoon8​ @twhiddlestonsstuff​ @lokistan​ @lowkeyorlokificrecs​ @gaitwae​ @whatafuckingdumbass​ @castiels-majestic-wings​ @kozkaboi​ @cozy-the-overlord​ @birdgirl90​ @myraiswack​ @mythicalgarlicknot​ @what-a-flammable-heart​ @mlqcikemenmc​

Disclaimer: Gif not mine

Loki frowned, looking out the window, down at the Avengers getting into Stark’s limo. They were doing some kind of awareness week at schools in the city, something or other about being a good citizen and staying safe. The God of Mischief had been invited to come, but he didn’t think it a particularly good idea. He’d never done anything with children before, and he wasn’t sure this was the best time to try.

“Loki?” you asked out of the blue. He whipped around at the sound of your voice. “What are you still doing here?”

“Oh, hello, darling. I just did not feel like going,” he said with a shrug. It wasn’t entirely a lie, but he still felt bad. “And what about you?”

“They insisted someone stay in case of an emergency call,” you explained. You weren’t totally sold on his excuse, but were terrified of pushing him, especially because things were going so well between you recently. “So that means we’re alone, right?”

“Yes, darling. Indeed, it does,” he replied, a smile curling on his lips.

Faster than lightning, Loki was pressing his lips to yours in a passionate kiss. You’d been dating for a little over a month, but were keeping it a secret from the rest of the Avengers. You both had your own reasons for that. Loki was afraid they wouldn’t approve and try to come between you. You, however were worried that Loki would put too much pressure on himself to be perfect if they knew, ending in him pulling away from you, convinced he wasn’t good enough. But either way, you agreed it was too soon to let them know. Soon, Loki had you pinned on the couch with his body, the raw desire in his kiss only growing. All too soon, you had to break for air, but you were quick to recapture his lips after catching your breath.

After a while, you were content to just lay with each other, cuddling while a movie played in the background. You were talking, and it reminded you of his flaky excuse from earlier. You were still worried about pressing, but god damn it, he was your boyfriend and you should be allowed to check on him.

“So...” you began.

“So?”

“So what’s the real reason why you didn’t go with the rest of the team?”

“Ah,” he said. “That.”

“Mhm. You don’t have to tell me,” you replied, caressing his cheek, “but you can always talk to me. I’m here for you, Loki. I promise.”

“I know, darling. Thank you,” he said against your skin as he nuzzled into your neck. He didn’t want to trouble you with what was on his mind, but your eyes were so innocent and full of adoration that he couldn’t resist. “I am afraid. Afraid that I would not be good with kids, that I would frighten them. Afraid that their parents would learn of my visit and cause an uproar. Afraid that I will never escape my past.”

“Oh, Loki,” you cooed, filled with compassion. You wanted to take his face in your hands, but he was still hiding in the crook of your neck. You settled for intertwining your fingers with his. “You are so, so much more than your past. New York wasn’t even your fault, for crying out loud. You are amazing, kind, insightful, compassionate, intelligent, beautiful. The list goes on and on, I assure you. The only way to deal with your fears is to face them head on, don’t you think? They may not even come true.”

You could feel his tears staining your skin, though he was obviously trying to hold them back. You were overcome with a powerful need to comfort him, to protect him from the world. It was so unfair that after all he’d been through, everyone who had hurt him, he blamed himself for all this. That he worried he wasn’t worthy of love when he was, in fact, the most deserving person you’d ever met.

“My darling,” he whispered, his voice breaking ever so slightly. Your chest swelled with pride as you realized you were one of the few—possibly the only—people he let himself be vulnerable with. “I cannot thank you enough for your words, truly.”

“You’re welcome, Loki,” you replied, taking a page out of his book and kissing the back of his hand. “You mean the world to me, my love.”

“And you the same to me,” he finally lifted his head up, and you turned to look at him. “I feel I can do anything with you at my side.”

“Does that mean what I think it does?”

“Yes. I will go with the rest of the team tomorrow if, and only if, you come with me.”

“Deal,” you agreed, kissing along his jawline and starting another make-out session.

Luckily, you heard the Avengers before you were in view of each other, giving you and Loki a chance to untangle yourselves and move to opposite ends of the couch. You shared a smile before turning your attentions to the TV as if that’s what you’d been doing the whole time.

“Well, I hope you two had a nice time while we were out doing hard work,” Tony joked.

“Tell you what,” you replied. “You get someone else to hold down the fort, and we’ll go tomorrow.”

“I’ll stay,” Bruce volunteered, a little too excitedly. He never was one for social settings. “Have fun.”

After catching up for a few minutes, you were all setting about your various tasks for the rest of the day. Before meeting Sam in the training room, you gave Loki’s hand a quick squeeze and pecked him on the cheek. Once you were gone, a feeling of dread settled in the pit of his stomach. But he’d meant what he said, and he was willing to do anything so long as you were there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What do you mean we can’t visit the same classroom?” you incredulously asked.

“It’s too slow,” Steve explained. “We cover more ground, so to speak, if we split up.”

“But can’t Loki and I be a pair? Please,” you pouted.

“Sorry guys,” he said. “We have to stick to the plan if we’re going to get to all the classes.”

You frowned as he walked away. You understood where he was coming from, but felt like he should have been able to make an exception. But it seemed like there was no getting him to budge, so you dropped the matter.

“Hey, at least our classes will be right next to each other,” you tried to comfort Loki as you all walked towards your assignments. “I’m sorry I can’t stay with you though. I know I promised.”

“Oh, my sweet darling,” Loki replied, pulling you aside to give you a quick kiss. “It is not your fault. It is some Midgardian rite of passage, is it not, to be scared on your first day of school?”

You smiled at the way he was cheering you up, despite obviously being very worried about the whole situation himself. Honestly, you really couldn’t fathom why anyone was afraid of this gentle, beautiful man before you. Why he was afraid of himself.

“I love you, Loki,” you said, giving him a big hug. He melted into your touch. “You’re going to be wonderful. You feel ok with this, right? We’ll figure something out if you don’t.”

“I shall muddle through, somehow,” he assured you. “It is like you said, I must face my fears.”

You gave him one last encouraging hug and smile before disappearing into the classroom you’d be talking in. He took a deep breath before knocking on the door of his assigned room. The teacher, a middle-aged man with hair starting to gray, welcomed him. It was a little unnerving to Loki that he seemed to have no qualms with the God of Mischief entering the threshold. The class, too, was watching him with nothing less than rapt attention and bright eyes. Perhaps you were right, after all, and not as many people as he thought were still holding onto the image he’d had when he first came to Midgard.

“Hello, children,” he began after a nervous gulp. “It is lovely to be here with you today.”

“Hello, Mr. Loki,” they chorused back.

As he began the talk on safety, he relaxed a bit. It was a room full of third graders, for Norns’ sake. He had faced off against fire serpents and sea monsters. Surely he could handle a group of kids. And as he soon found out, he was right indeed. More than handle, in fact; he was great with them! As he waltzed out of the room and into the next, he wondered if he might have a family of his own one day. He didn’t know how you felt about adopting, but he was starting to like the idea. It didn’t go too well for him in his childhood, but he could ensure that some other innocent kid won’t go through what he did. Besides, the circumstances were entirely different. Though, he supposed he was getting ahead of himself, imagining having a family with you. Still, it sent a thrill right to his heart.

After a very successful morning, he met back up with you. Being the first two done with the presentations, Loki took the opportunity to whisk you away to a secluded hallway to kiss you again.

“So it went well, I take it,” you laughed as you broke away.

“Just as you said it would, darling. I even had fun.”

“Well then, congratulations, my love. I think that deserves another kiss,” you said, wrapping your arms behind his neck.

“I think that you are right,” he agreed, tickling you a little.

As your lips met again, you heard a loud, overdramatic gasp that could only belong to Tony. You both sprung back from each other, realizing the hallway wasn’t as private as you’d originally believed. Besides Tony, the other Avengers were all standing there, taking in the scene too. Shooting each other a nervous glance, you and Loki braced yourselves for whatever came next.

“You two,” Tony said, feigning utter shock and hurt, “are dating? Woe is me! How could you keep this a secret from us, your dearest teammates?”

“Spare me, Stark,” Loki said, rolling his eyes and taking your hand. If you’d been found out, might as well be confident about it. “Yes, we are together. And I, for one, couldn’t be happier.”

“Neither could I,” you agreed, going to kiss him again.

“Now, now,” Tony interjected. He stood between you and put an arm over each of your shoulders, leading the way outside. “No kissing in the halls. But you know what? I think this is the start of an awesome era for the Avengers. Just think of all the jokes!”

You giggled as Loki rolled his eyes again, though he was fighting a losing battle with a grin. As you got into the limo, fingers locked once again, Loki began to accept something. It was right what you’d said about that not being the real him at the Battle of New York. No, he was himself now. Someone different, perhaps better and stronger than ever before. And it was you in a large part who had helped him see that. He knew in that moment that he’d been entirely right; with you by his side, he could do anything.

[marshieee]

✨Haikyuu boys as your brother series✨

Hospital shenanigans🤦‍♀️

Read broken bone pt.1 before reading this btw

A/N: so this kinda funny I don’t want some of my friends to know about what kind of things i post in tumblr but one of my friends requested that she wanted to read about this series of mine so like, I’m gonna make a twitter acc. So i can also post it there!.

Oikawa Tooru

He would immediately i mean mad run to the hospital.

While iwaizumi, mattsun, and maki obviously got there first since they took the bus.

Oikawa didn’t bother to listen to them and just run all the way to you shouting

“Y/N-CHAAAAAAAN BIG BROTHER IS COMINGGGGGGGGG”

“Shouldn’t we be stopping him?”

“Pfft”

“Nah” “Nah” “Nah”

He’s gonna keep on stuttering your name at the front desk as if you’re in a life and death situation.

“Oikawa y/n, y/n oikawa, y/n just y/n”

“Sir i need you to calm down and take a deep breath”

“Y/N where’s my sister?”

“She’s at the third floor room 507”

Instantly pulled his chaperones to the elevator.

Honestly you don’t know why do you even need a private room. Like come on it’s a waste of money.

As soon as your parents heard the news they also freaked out. They left whatever they’re doing and fly almost flew to the hospital.

And immediately asked for a private room. Since you need it to recover

“I swear to God my family is overdramatic”

Oikawa just came in and again dramatically went to you.

He almost shed a tear just seeing you sitting at the bed with your arm wrapped in many bandages.

“Y/N-CHAN ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!”

“As you can see yes I’m alright now please tone it down”

The whole time he would just sit beside you and hug you.......while you’re too busy talking to the boys.

Every 10 mins he’ll keep asking “are you ok?” “Am i crushing your arms?” “Should i move away?”

“Yes please do”

And when he hints your sarcasm he’ll even hug you tighter.

DRAMATIC BUT LOVING BIG BROTHER SUPREMACY

Tanaka ryuunosuke

Ok you broke your leg cuz ur dumb.

But that’s not the case.

You were just at your bed reading some magazine when you heard a nurse gasp.

You whipped your head there you saw.

In full glory....your brother....tanaka.

With bruises and black eye

You wince by just looking at him.

“SIR ARE YOU OK? LET’S PATCH YOU UP”

“No I’m fine thank you”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah I’m good”

As he walks into the room everybody was staring at him either terrified since maybe they took him as a gangsta.

Or just shooked.

He sits besides you and just kept quiet

“Nee-san really did you good huh”

“Yeah”

“I’m surprised you didn’t break a bone”

“I didn’t but nee-san did.....she break a nerve.....she snapped”

Tanaka shivered thinking about his sister’s reaction awhile ago. It was honestly a miracle he didn’t end up being at the hospital bed besides you right now.

“Here”

He’ll give you a banana as a peace offering. He pulled a piece and peeled it for you.

“I’m sorry”

“It’s fine have you learned your lesson tho?”

“I certainly did”

Lev haiba

Sitting comfortably—scratch that your arms are very uncomfortable right now.

You were alone in your room, for no reason you got a private room.

Alisa your sister already visited you but have to go as there are some business she has to attend to.

The door opened you saw a huge ass boy with silver hair smiling at you.

“Yo!”

He would laugh at your state and ask why are you even at a tree

“Well i wanted to just chill but i never thought i was too heavy and the branch wasn’t sturdy”

Patting your head “u wanted to look like those anime characters who just chills at the tree looking all cool don’t you?”

The way you got flustered was enough hint for him that he was right.

Lev knows everything about you, i mean ofc he would you’re his little sister.

And he knows what you want now.

“I brought snacks!!! And manga”

Aone takanobu

After school aone would go straight to a near supermarket to buy you comfort foods.

Ice cream, chips, juice, biscuits anything that comforts you.

Of course futakuchi said they’ll visit you after school which you told them with a big firm

“No”

“Too bad we will”

Of course he’ll just go tease you.

As soon as aone got to your room he’ll immediately frown.

He’ll scold you with a soft voice while slowly taking out the foods in the plastic bag.

“You should be more careful next time”

He open a bag of chips since you broke your arm and gave it to you.

You’ll just laugh at him, even tho he is clearly mad at your stupidness you can still see his soft side.

“Damn ur lover will be luckiest person if they ever get to marry you”

“Don’t flatter me”

Soon enough the room was filled with tall ass boys with alot of get well gifts.

“My gift is myself be happy Cuz I’m blessing you with my presence”

“I swear to God futakuchi-san i can break my other arm just to punch you”

“I’ll take that as a compliment”

[jackambrosemodeling]

Boy Talk || Jack & Brandon

When: May 2, 2021

Where: Jack’s apartment, Santa Monica, California

Featuring: Brandon Kelly (dialogue provided by Katie @itsbrandonkelly)

Triggers: Allusion to alcoholism

After firing off a You’d better be home. text to Jack, he realised that he really should have checked first to save him from waiting outside their apartment but that’s why there were so many saying about hindsight. Still, he knocked to let his presence be known instead of texting again, hoping he’d timed his visit well.

Jack was coincidentally home when they received Brandon's text. They got out of the shower when they saw the message. After texting him back with a 'bitch I might be', Jack unlocked their door as well as the entrance door to the apartment building. They followed up with a 'door's open' text and went to go find clothes to put on before Brandon came inside.

He huffed out in amusement at the first response he got and then knocked again at the second before letting himself in. “Who leaves their door open? This is the start to every horror film ever, then again just letting yourself into someone’s home is also how they start.” He called out, heading to the kitchen instead of looking for Jack. He figured they would have answered the door if they weren’t occupied with something else and so they’d join him when they were done. When he found glasses, he settled himself on the couch and shrugged off his jacket.

"I do when I know someone's coming over!" they yelled from behind their closed bedroom door. If someone had actually broken into their apartment for nefarious purposes, Jack was more than prepared to deal with the situation. Once they were presentable, they looked around until they found Brandon in the living room. "Comfy there?" they teased. "You know I love seeing you, but a little more of a heads up would've been nice. I could've still been in the shower. I could've been actively having sex!"

“Who’s supposed to be coming over? I can’t believe you were inviting people to chill and I wasn’t one of them?” Brandon had taken out his phone to sit on the couch with him and had even gotten as far as pouring them both a drink before Jack had come to meet him. “Yep. I made myself at home.” He gave Jack his best smile, even fluttering his eyelashes for good measure. “If you loved seeing me that much you would invite me over to do those things with you. Besides, it’s not much of a surprise visit if I tell you about it, is it?”

“You! I opened the door for you, silly!” Jack looked at the two glasses, then back to Brandon. “Oh shit, the wine that Nyle sent as a moving present! I forgot I had that.” They didn’t want to be rude and throw it out, and figured it would be good to have in case of guests, so they hid it. The fact that they managed to not drink any of it themself was a miracle. “Yeah, I’m not sure how Viv would feel about that... speaking of which. Fun update in my life. I’m kind of seeing someone? Still figuring out labels and whatnot.” Though there were rumors floating around the gossip sphere, Brandon was the first person they confirmed the rumor to.

“Then the door wouldn’t be open so it wouldn’t matter if you were showering or fucking, would it?” Jack’s comment had Brandon looking at the bottle again and picking up the glass closest to it. “Mine is alcoholic. I brought you some appley juice recommended by the best palate I know.” He patted the space beside him before his eyebrows raised in surprise. “You settled before you boned me? Disgusting. Unacceptable.” Despite his words, he started grinning. “I’m so happy for you, babe. That’s cute.”

“Brandon, stop making good points,” they huffed, sitting down on the couch next to Brandon. “Oh, thanks.” While Jack had never explicitly told Brandon why they quit drinking, it appeared that he had gotten the hint. “I’m sorry. It turns out I have a SIMP gene that was activated by me moving to Santa Monica. Who would’ve thunk it?” they joked, knowing damn well that they’ve simped over every person they’ve ever dated.

“I can’t help that I’m brilliant. Sorry buddy; you just gotta live with that I’m afraid.” He hummed quietly in amusement. Brandon simply offered them a smile at their thanks. They never joined in whenever B was drinking and he was nothing if not attentive. Sometimes, at least. “Literally no one because the simp gene has always been in you and always been active but I’ll keep that to myself if it really makes you feel better.”

"All my friends are hot and smart, but I'm just hot. Story of my life." Jack sighed, taking a sip of the juice that was so graciously provided to them. "Excuse me?!" Jack exclaimed overdramatically. "Are you calling me a simp? In the comfort of my own apartment?! I don't know what I did to deserve this treatment. I don't know how I'll go on!" They busted into  laughter, unable to keep the act up.

“You’re hot and smart. What the fuck are you talking about? Be nice to my friend or I’ll kick your ass.” He reached his foot out to nudge Jack with, an amused smile on his face. “Plus, you’re also super hot, own it. And yes. I’m calling you a simp. You’re the themperor of simpington. Population... Uh, I don’t know how many people are in Santa Monica but that’s the population.”

“Brandon, I was a straight-C student in high school and have the common sense of a bag of potato chips. I know my strengths and weaknesses.” Jack knew they weren’t book smart and it didn’t bother them. “Excuse me, I am not Themperor Simpington. That title belongs to Sunwoo Seong. Have you met them? But they did skip town a while back... shit. I didn’t ask for this title. I need to find a new non-binary friend to bestow this title on. I just need more enby friends in general.”

“You don’t have the common sense of a bag of potato chips, Jesus Christ Jack.” Brandon laughed as he slapped Jack’s arm. “You’ve survived this long in this industry, babe. That’s not down to potato chip brain, even I nearly crashed out a couple of years in.” He raised an eyebrow, head tilted as he fixed them a look of disapproval. “You are Themperor Simpington. The queen has spoken. I met Sunwoo once and obviously offered to climb that tree but they left and Joonie was sad so I’m no longer a fan of tall, hot and dimpled. If it makes you feel any better, I’m a huge simp for my sweet boy.”

“Hey, I’m funny. Fuck you,” they retorted, chuckling. “I’ve been told that I’m charismatic, and that’s helped me out in the industry. I’m still not that famous though.” While Jack was relatively well-known in queer circles, heterosexual circles were a whole other ballpark. Being friends with Brandon and recently befriending Vanessa did help their social standing though. “Themperor Simpington my butt,” they grumbled. “Wait, when you say ‘my sweet boy,’ do you mean Minjoon or do you have another boo I should know about?”

“Bitch, I been trying to get you to for so long now. I was starting to think you needed glasses.” Bee broke into a laugh before he even finished his sentence, nudging Jack’s arm in his giggling. “Yeah, you have to have a look and you have to be charming to start work in this industry but to survive in it? You have to be smart. About that though, I know I keep promising you a space on my next project and it’s had a few.. speed bumps I guess? Not really speed bumps but personal delays? Either way, I know enough now to be able to tell you that Queen B’s.. that I’m releasing a trial perfume.. fragrance line. Five scents to start, each will have its own colour have theme shots with, each will have its own model to associate with and I want you, if you’re interested?” Their mumbling made Brandon grin, coughing as a terrible fake attempt at covering up the ‘Simp.’ he titled them with again. “Minjoon is my sweet boy. I don’t have another boo, not even a little bit but if you hear simp alarms going off whenever I like the instas of a very beautiful friend of mine then mind ya business.”

"Oh my god. Brandooooon!" Though Jack had quite a few friends with benefits in their days, whenever the thought of doing anything with Brandon crossed their mind, they thought about the bright-eyed, bushy-tailed seventeen-year-old they met all those years ago. Jack's eyes lit up when he started talking about his fragrance line project. "Oh hell yeah I'm interested. Just remember, my favorite colors are purple and pink." They winked at Brandon. Aside from one photoshoot in L.A. that they did after fashion weeks, their work schedule was dryer than a desert. Of course they wouldn't tell him that though. They didn't want to sound desperate. Jack would've taken this job even if they weren't in need of work. "B, you're gonna have to be a little more specific than that. I know you. You don't befriend ugly people."

The laugh that left him this time was more of a giggle and he scrunched his nose up, shaking his head. “I tease but honestly, you’re practically family. Did you know that my parents ask after you? They know as much about you as I do but.. Well, they’re embarrassing. Eh, mom’s okay. Dad’s embarrassing so you’ll probably never meet them but yeah.. They get told about the important people in my life and you’ve been in it longer than Joonie.” Brandon groaned, setting his glass down. “Can’t believe I’m being gross and emotional already. Moving on..” He said, a little louder. “Purple would be fantastic for you. It’s a very royal colour and I’m going to do the obvious and lean into that a little but silk, not velvet. Pink was going to have a sweet-candy-lace vibe to it but if you want pink I can give you pink.” Brandon rolled his eyes, despite the heat he could feel spreading up his neck. “I have a... friend called Kian and he’s... There hasn’t been a word invented yet for how beautiful he is and it’s ridiculous and gross because I don’t lose my mind over pretty boys but he’s.. He makes me blush, Jack. I don’t blush.”

"Brandooooooooon! Stop, you're gonna make me blush. I'd love to meet your parents. Parents love me. Well, actually, I just love milfs and dilfs," Jack cackled at their own dumb joke. "But in all seriousness, let me know when they come to town!" As much as they wanted to meet Mr. and Mrs. Kelly, they didn't want to go to the Kelly home to do so. Jack knew that they shared a home state with Brandon, and didn't want to reenter North Carolina at the risk of running into their family. "Ooh, purple and silk? Now you're speaking my language!" Jack wiggled their eyebrows when Brandon mentioned Kian by name. "A yes, the cute delivery boy. You've mentioned him before. We're Instagram mutuals!"

“Do it! Blush, you coward!” Brandon laughed, leaning against Jack’s arm to nudge them. “Oh my god. I can’t believe I have to say this but if you’re gonna fuck my parents, please don’t date them and wait until I’m out of the room if you’re going to flirt, I don’t need to see that. They really would love to meet you though, they’ve been waiting for permission to come to town.” Brandon grinned at Jack at their approval, giving a small nod. “I’ll get some things drawn up for you. I do have a few already as rough drafts but now I know you’re taking it, I can design something a little more tailored to you.” The warmth spreading across his cheeks and colouring his face a darker shade of pink only grew worse as Jack wiggled their brows at him. “Yeah.. Well.. He’s almost perfect. The only thing I’d change about him is his last name.” His reaction to himself was instant, throwing himself against the cushions to yell out a laugh. “And I keep saying dumb cheesy shit like that! I’m a bumbling mess around him. Like.. Like I start off all smooth and collected and then he smiles and I’m just.. fucking applying to be hired by hallmark. It’s.. It’s so cringe and gross and... I’m happy.”

"Brandon, I'll become your new step-parent and ground you, don't tempt me," Jack joked, cackling. "Well give it to them! Don't deprive me of your loving parents!" Jack didn't have loving parents of their own, so if Brandon's parents were anything like Brandon, Jack was going to latch to them like nobody's business. "Oh my goooooooooooood, that was so coooooorrrrnnnnnyyyyy! Damn, and you call me a simp! I'm not out here reciting poetry on main about my crush. And if you bring up the fact that we have keys to each others' apartments, mind your business." Jack knew they were simping hard over Vivian, but now it was Brandon's turn to be in the hot seat. "So have you considered, you know, talking to him?"

“Their ex girlfriend actually tried that once. Oh my god, it was kind of funny though. You’ll have to treat me better when our guests arrive and do as you’re told or I’ll have you cut off until you learn some damn respect.” He mimicked in a too high voice, rolling his eyes afterwards. “Like.. Honey, I’ve only just noticed you’re not the last guy they were dating and that’s only because you started pterodactyl screeching.” Despite his playful tone, Brandon could feel warmth spreading across his face. “Yeah, okay. I’ll.. I’ll invite them up to meet you.” Having made peace with the fact that he‘d made himself into a product, his parents were off limits when it came to the people in his life, knowing how fickle and superficial a lot of his relationships with people were. It was different with Jack though, Jack really was his friend. “Honestly, I’ve been an absolute mess. I pulled the whole ‘My friends call me B, you can call me any time.’ Thing on him when we met and now I just blush all the time and feel nauseous over butterflies.” He waved his hand quickly at Jack’s news, shaking his head. “NUH uh.. We are not going to just gloss over that? Oh my god? Keys? You’re entering domesticity. Like.. Me and Joonie levels of domesticity and my parents are the founders of the BranJoon wedding fan club. Like.. You’re getting into that territory..” There was a small pause before a smile spread across his face. “I’m happy for you, babe. Honestly. You deserve this.” He couldn’t help but sigh at the question, sinking into his seat a little with a pout on his features and a small shrug. “I’ve been so obvious about it. Short of getting a neon sign to carry around, I don’t know how much more obvious I could be and sometimes it feels like he’s being obvious back? Like.. It feels like it’s not just one sided? And then I start having a gay panic and do something dumb because he’s way out of my league which is a new thing for me. I do want to though. Should I?”

"Hold up, hold up. I said that as a joke. You're telling me that your parents are actually non-monogamous?! And you didn't tell me until now?! I came out as polyam like, 2-3 years ago! And now I'm in a monogamous set-up again. I missed my shot. I'm hurt." Jack put their hands over their chest and sniffled, but almost immediately returned to their usual cheerful demeanor. "I'm kidding, I'm not gonna become your step-daddy, or... I don't know what a gender-neutral equivalent would be besides 'parent,' and that doesn't roll of the tongue as well." This wasn't something they had to think about right away. It wasn't like they were going to wake up tomorrow with a child. "Ah yes, your infamous pick-up line." Jack's face turned pink when Brandon acknowledged the keys. "Okay, I actually do have an explanation! I initially gave her my spare key because I asked her to water my plants when I was away for Fashion Week. Granted, she didn't do a good job and managed to kill both plants, but that's an aside. But yeah, I just never asked for the spare key back." Jack gave Brandon a shoulder pat. They really didn't know Kian, so couldn't tell what the full situation was. "What I've learned from my many years of dating men is that men are dumb and sometimes you literally need to spell things out for them."

“As momma dearest says, monogamy is for the weak. Anyway, they were already in a relationship when you came out. Also? I don’t want to be hooking my parents up with my hotties?” Brandon pulled a face at Jack, nose scrunched up in disapproval. “To be fair though, you and Viv wouldn’t even be the first couple they’ve dated. You’d be the first I’d... somewhat approve of but..” He shrugged before laughing. “Oh my god. There are a couple.. Zaza or zeze instead of dada and mama but given the chance I’d mash up dad and mom and just refer to you as my dom to make everyone in the room uncomfortable.” He shook his head, laughing quietly. “I hate this so much, Jack please.” “I think it’s funny, definitely in my top 3 introductions.” He found himself sitting up straighter when he noticed the blush on Jack’s cheeks, a grin forming on his own features. “Oh my god. She killed your plants and you let her keep your key? Say it with me, babe. Simp. You’re cute though. I’m totally 100% on board with the two of you. She was one of my heroes.” When the conversation turned back to him, Brandon tilted his head as he weighed his options. “Not Kiki but... You’re right, I guess. He’s probably so used to everyone being in love with him that my flirting is just baseline niceties. Okay, yeah. I’ll.. I’ll tell him that I’m crazy about him. Or I’ll just text him that aggressive meme about wanting to hold hands.”

"Aaaaah, your parents are so cool! I wish my parents were cool like that. Mine are just homophobic." There was a lot more to Sofia and Tony Corleone than just that, but very few people knew about them. This was very much intentional. They made a face at 'zaza' and 'zeze.' "Yeah, not really digging those ones... Wait. Dom?!" Jack paused to laugh. "Fucking hell. Yes. That's definitely what my future kids are gonna call me." Jack never brought up the topic of kids to Vivian. They were still very early in their relationship and Jack was afraid they were too old to be a parent. It was still a nice thought though. "Yeah. I got back from Paris and she was having a bad day, so I ordered a pizza and we just... talked. Had a real heart-to-heart. I ended up staying the night, and we've basically had an open-door policy with each other ever since. And then the next day I went back into my apartment and found out about the plants."  Jack grabbed a pillow from the couch and lightly smacked Brandon's arm with it. "I know, I know! I'm a big sappy simpy mush. I'm a Cancer, I don't know what you expect from me." It took Jack a long time to accept their emotional side, but now they openly embraced it. "Or he might not know how to recognize flirting. I've met many people like that. Like the cute DJ at that bar where Minjoon used to work. Or Minjoon himself!”

“My parents have a big bank balance and even bigger hearts. That’s why I don’t approve of a lot of their partners but yeah.. As much as I give them shit for being lame, they’re the coolest. I mean, they’re the only reason I’m even.. y’know... Around.” Brandon let out an unattractive snort and sat forward to retrieve his glass, pouting when he realised it was empty but simply sat back instead of refilling it. “Please, I am begging you, think carefully as to why I’d find calling you my dom funny before you commit to that decision.” He pressed his lips together to fight his laugh before he let out a soft hum. “Do you think that’s where you’re headed with her? Is she someone you can see yourself having kids with?” He asked softly, his whole demeanour changing from playful now that they had ventured into serious topics. “You don’t have to say yes and you don’t have to have an answer right now. Things are still new with you both and y’know... Take it from the adopted, some people don’t want kids and some do.” He shrugged a little.

“Ew. You talked to each other over pizza because one of you had a bad day? That’s disgusting.” When hit with the pillow, Brandon grabbed it to tug it away from Jack so they couldn’t attack him again and he hugged it to his chest, propping his chin on it. “I live for that kind of domesticity.” He sighed wistfully. “You are a big simpy mush and I love that about you. It’s gross and honest and just very sweet. I’m really glad you have someone who makes you feel that way, babe.” Brandon  rolled his eyes and gave the pillow a small squeeze. “Vito really doesn’t recognise flirting? The dude wants to be an actor! With a face like that a lot of his roles are probably going to have it. I wanted to ask if he wanted any help getting into it because he was good to Joonie when they worked together and I always appreciate people taking care of the babie but I also feel like I don’t know him well enough to just give him a shout about a job. Eh. Maybe I’ll get Joonie to text him about this perfume thing and actually see what skills he has. Joonbug doesn’t count for the whole flirting thing though, attraction isn’t really his thing.”

"I gotcha," Jack stated, nodding. They had a similar problem when they first started modeling. They loved to spoil their loved ones-- and still do-- and people often took advantage of their generosity. As Jack grew older, they learned how to weed out the moochers. Of course Brandon was never a moocher; he wasn't the type to take without giving, plus he had plenty of his own money. Jack watched for Brandon's reaction, then chuckled in response to his face. "Babe, I know. I was joking. Could you imagine?!" They shrugged at Brandon's question. "Honestly, I have no idea. I think it's too soon to talk about that kinda stuff. I thought I was never gonna become a parent because Sage didn't want kids, but, you know, they're not my fiancé anymore." Sage not wanting kids wasn't the main reason the engagement was broken off, but it was a bone of contention in the relationship.

"Oh hush. One day you'll have a heart-to-heart over pizza too. Well, maybe not because of the whole gluten thing, but some food that you enjoy." They stuck their tongue out at Brandon. "Ohh, that's his name! At least he didn't recognize me flirting with him. Could just be that he wasn't into me because he's straight, but I'm hot so that's dumb." Jack didn't want to have sex with straight dudes anyways, so they didn't consider it a major loss. "Attraction isn't his thing? Is he asexual or something?" they asked curiously. "Wait a minute, you're deflecting!"

[lala-pipo]

(1) WOW! 4 months has passed since you answered my last ask hahaha… so fast… I understand, sometimes when I spend too much time on something, be it working or studying or even recreational stuff I feel burnt out to :D Like I spent 5 straight days last week playing Stardew Valley, now I haven’t touched the Switch lol anyways, I am still enjoying the updates on Dorm Life! It’s slowly progressing but I think it’s good for both of them so far? Taking it one step at a time :3

(2) It’s like they are back at it again with their bantering and anime/fanfic conversations :’) the comfortableness is there but also at the same time it feels unsettling? maybe because we are seeing it from Taem’s POV and he is kinda fidgety (for a lack of better word) or tense about the situation? Hmmm but yeah the ending at the latest chapter though!! Whoooo could have been calling Jong at that time? And the off-character part where he turned off his phone, refusing to take the calls :O

(3) Obviously like Taem we would probably just wonder if it’s Key right, but idk why some instinct telling me it’s not Key like it’s a new part of the story? A new subplot? Lol or maybe it is Key and we are closing that chapter? Uhuhuh I’m just going to theorize in the corner here as I wait for the next update :3 Ah! Yeah, and you said there won’t be any crying moments anymore, so will there be more cheesy things like the end of the latest chapter? Cringe inducing lines and “aww” moments? ;)

(4) Yeah, ofc ofc since to Taem, Key is his “antagonist”, we were bound to kind of see it the same way… in the latest update too, there were a lot of thoughts inside Taem’s head regarding his observations on Key right… like I think there was a part where he thought that Key was looking down on him, or even he thought that Key and Jong should be having stricter? (Idk if that’s the right word) boundaries on things that they should and shouldn’t talk about lol

(5) To be honest, it’s kind of entertaining to see Taem’s train of thoughts on these things like, that almost instantaneous thought in someone’s head that they don’t really share to others. It can be a little bit biased, it can be overdramatic, but ofc I also I understand Taem’s hatred? Or more like insecurity maybe? When it comes to Key (and Jong). It’s the kind of things people think about but not really say out loud hahaha I love it, it makes the characters more whole?

(6) Oh yeahh? I shall be sneaking my way into AO3 to see your replies :3 For a while I kind of realized that you uploaded every 3 weeks? On my Sunday nights, so I timed it perfectly lol recently I’ve been busy too so this one took a while hehehe :D Since my last ask I think you updated twice with chapter 10 and 11! I think chapter 10 was more like “where is this going, what is happening” uncertain section with everyone just passing by time and going with the flow? Ft. mother and Kai hahah

(7) In chapter 11, I think the direction is clearer for them, thanks to the convo by the river!! It was a necessary conversation and I’m glad that they were able to talk about it, after great difficulty :’) Then the chapter was filled with fluff cheese fluff Taem’s thoughts on Key fluff :3 hahaha oh! Maybe I wasn’t paying attention as much but there weren’t many biblical allusions in the past 2 chapters? Maybe it was intentional or maybe not, either way I didn’t notice many of them I think? haha

(8) Maybe ‘cos Taem’s thoughts are filled with “where is this going”, Jong, Key, and then the upcoming exam lol so not so much bible references going on in his head haha… Also!! I saw new fanfics for Jong’s month and I did not read them yet!! So excited, probably will read them as I wait for the updates :D Also!! SHINee x AoT fanfic, yes please omg… I actually searched for one back in 2013-2014? When AoT Anime was just released… we have Pacific Rim AU, so I was rooting hard for AoT AU :’(

(9) Sooo yeah, I’ll look forward to any new fanfics by you in the future too! But please do take time away from it if it tires you out or if you are burned out! It should be an enjoyable thing to do for you :D Anyways! Thank you for the updates! I thoroughly enjoyed the fluff, oh! and thank you for accepting my tomo-choco lol, and I gratefully accept yours! <3 I hope you had and will have an amazing time for the upcoming months! Take care, and stay healthy! – cricket anon

____________________________________________________

Cricket nony!

Wow indeed! It certainly has been a while. How have you been? I have never heard of Stardew Valley before, but I’m glad you’ve enjoyed playing it. But I know that feeling, sometimes I play games for weeks and then I won’t touch them for a year. Humans are weird like that I guess. ^^

I’m glad you’re still enjoying my slow updates. I mean we are about to cross the finishing line. There are only two chapters left to complete the storyline + the epilogue. So yeah. Considering that I already wanted to be done with the story by March – and now we’re nearing July already. Haha – but at least I’m working on it to push this story over the finishing line.

It’s not really a subplot – more like the underlying theme of the story which has been there since chapter 1. If the story was written from Jonghyun POVs it would have been a main theme, but since we’re seeing everything from Taem’s perspective, we just know what Jonghyun shares with him – which is not a lot. :’)

Yes, there won’t be any more tears. There will be a few cheesy moments, but less so compared to chapter 11. :’D Chapter 12 is like the last peak before – hopefully – all ties come together in chapter 13 *knocks on wood*

Oh, Taemin will have a lot more thoughts on Kibum in chapter 12. Lmao The whole situation between Kibum and Taemin is loosely based on something from my own experiences. However, without going too much into detail – let’s keep it simple and say I was the Jonghyun in that scenario. Lmao

Yeah, I think there are plenty of moments in this story in which Taemin thinks a LOT of things but says something very different out loud. I think that’s only human. It’s just better to not share all thoughts one has. :’)

It’s certainly intentional that there are less biblical references after they’ve actually been to church. There are still some left to come, but far less than in previous chapters. It’s supposed to show that Taemin is slowly beginning to find his balance in a way, his way in life? I don’t know how to put it, but he slowly gets more rooted.

THANK YOU! Finally someone who understand my craving for SHINee x AoT fanfic. I really, really want to write one because for some reason I want to write something more action driven with blood, and gore and violence lmao and of course titans. I mean romance is cute – but romance is even cuter if you put it into a dystopian setting where people are fighting for the survival of human kind. A SHINee survey squad would be so cute T_T <3 I don’t really know why no one picked up on yet after all those years – we have so many crossovers in this fandom – and yet a crossover with one of the biggest fandoms out there is just nonexistent. It makes no sense to me. I also always wanted to write a Harry Potter crossover but there are so many out there already – so AoT really lets my weeb juices tingle. Lmao

I remember really liking bmot’s JongTae pacific rim AU…although I still have no idea about pacific rim to this day. :’D I always wanted to look it up because I like the description in their story – it seemed an interesting concept but somehow I’ve never went further than thinking about it.

Thanks for dropping by again, cricket nony! Talk to you in 4 months? Maybe…lmao Take good care of yourself. *waves* <3

[vtmb2s]

Past 1, 3, 6, 8 for Jason my beloved and Present 5-8 for Jenny annnd Future 2, 5, 7 for Helena! 😏

─ JASON

1. Briefly describe the way their parents grew up, and how it affected the way they raised them.

Both his parents were two regular middle class new yorkers, Frank (his dad) grew up in New York's suburbs and had a very conventional upbringing, he was the middle child of three siblings and thus kind of ignored so he usually just minded his own business... that very much carried over into adulthood, he was very reclusive and didn't really bother spending much time with his family -_-

Jason's mom, Gina, was a 2nd generation italian-american who grew up in a huge family with a billion siblings and cousins who are all very different from her husband. She liked it in the beginning but she became more and more unhappy and kind of underwhelmed. She really projected all her dreams of ever becoming someone on her kids that failed with her because she was stuck in a boring marriage with the most unambitious and boring man ever 😑

3. Describe their family. Who raised them, and who had the most impact on them? Did they have any siblings? Who were they closest to? What were the family dynamics like?

This ties in with the previous question but Frank was a bit of a loser, not particularly attractive and more timid & shy.. he was a very unambitious guy who worked a boring office job all his life without any intention of climbing the ladder. He really spent most of his time off work with his boring little loser hobbies :/

Gina was a much more spirited and lively person than her husband, Jason takes a lot more after her than his dad. She wasn't a great mother by all means due to the fact that she was unhappy in her marriage and with her life and kind of took that out on her kids, in a way where she placed certain expectations on them which Jason never really met. They weren't particularly close due to Jason's more.. rebellious nature he had as a kid, which in turn made him cause more trouble because that was the only way his parents gave him any attention at all :/ He also has an older brother, Richard, who their mother very obviously favored. Frank didn't really give a fuck about either of his sons -_-

He had a very close relationship with his mother's family though, particularly with one of her brothers. Carlo (said uncle) was a lot like him and never had any kids on his own so he became somewhat of a father figure to Jason :-)

6. Did the location they grew up in affect them significantly? Do they still go there?

He grew up in some little house in New York's suburb, not the prettiest house there because they didn't make enough for one of the nicer looking ones. He's not that fond of the boring suburbs (even in Boston), he spent more time in the city with his relatives and preferred that over his actual home. Other than that it didn't affect him much 🤷‍♀️

8. What was their childhood/teenage bedroom like?

A small little room with an ugly sports wallpaper that his parents never bothered to replace as he got older. It always looked a little messy and had a few mismatching mid-century decorations and furniture in there. As he grew older he started to cover the walls with random posters he had, to hide the ugly baseball wallpaper.

─ JENNY

5. What kind of people do they usually interact with? Who are their friends, the people they look up to/trust, and who are their “associates”?

She interacts with all sorts of people in New Bordeaux' criminal underworld - if you do anything illegal chances are you'll know Jenny. As for her actual friends, she's friends with the 3 other criminal 20 year olds in town, Danny, Lincoln, Ellis, unfortunately Giorgi (frenemies would be more fitting) and Lena. Her closest and best friends would definitely be Gavin (of @dannyburke fame)and Juliet (of @jennystahl fame) though, they're also pretty much the only ones who would fall into the "people she trusts" category... they're the only ones she'll have long weed induced therapy sessions at 1 am while the monkees are on tv.

6. What is their current relationship with their family?

Complicated... the love is there and all that, it's more of a business relationship though rather than a parent-child thing, especially with her dad. It's nothing that she ever questions (until aforementioned therapy sessions with her friends), she grew up in an environment where affection isn't really something she sees often and almost all her friends have messed up relationships with their parents too so while there is some resentment she never really questions that the way they raised her might not be ideal :c

The relationship with her siblings is complicated as well, especially because they're both a LOT younger than her. She was an only-child until the age of 13 and moved out of her childhood home when they were eight and six years old so there's this weird disconnect but there's a relationship nonetheless, which is weird. Eldest daughter AND only child disease 😓Not to mention that her parents are looking to make her little brother head of the family because he's a boy or whatever.. drama!

7. Do they have a partner? How did they meet, and what’s their relationship like now?

Yes.. she and Ellis met on some random job in the Hollow in 1963 that her dad was taking her along with (he and Sammy did random deals together and were also good friends 😌) and Jenny was like wow how boring. What if I just talk to this this guy's sons instead.... she thought he was some annoying teenage guy and only really talked to him whenever necessary (when her dad's business trips to Sammy's got REALLY boring). She forced herself to hang out with him more after Lincoln went to Vietnam and realized he's not so bad so they became friends :)

In actual game canon nothing really happens because he dies, Jenny just becomes sad that her friends were killed (him, Danny, Sammy and maybe Michael too because of Juliet connection.. she doesn't give a fuck abt Giorgi anymore that little rat can die) and wonders if she liked that goofy little guy with the ugly shirts, but in any case it's too late now.

We're doing au's here though (also this is as of '68) so in the good timeline they get together in 1968.. sort of. It's not a friends with benefits thing, more that sort of relationship that you know will end sooner or later for various reasons, so you're kind of living in the moment and have fun while it lasts. It IS genuine and not just about hooking up from time to time of course, it's just not the kind of thing that was built to last because it's based off of a dumb 20 year olds friendship and one of them (Jenny) doesn't really plan on sticking around in New Bordeaux. But well, who knows what will happen 😏

8. What hobby or pastime of theirs do they consider most important to them and why?

Well, she's big on making music, she plays the guitar and sings (she has a pretty nice voice c: ), she grew up in a pretty fucked up environment so that was her sort of escape in her youth, to be a normal kid who's playing the guitar very very badly. She doesn't play it badly as a 23 year old anymore of course and it's a little thing she shares with her best friends so that means a lot to her 😳

─ HELENA

2. Are they content with their future situation? Is there anything they would change?

Well, she's certainly not happy with the whole vampire situation - her dreams of becoming famous for acting were pretty much ruined, now she's legally dead and nothing more than a photo on true crime blogs and conspiracy theory websites... Famous but for the wrong reasons, in a way she's more bitter about "dying" before she had the chance to become famous than about the whole vampirism thing herself. There would have been something incredibly poetic about a beautiful young actress dying at the height of her career, now she's just some random nobody :/

It could be worse though. She's known among L.A. vampires for her lack of loyalty to any of the factions (despite her working for the Camarilla earlier) and her just helping whoever she feels like which is fine to her, most of them will just leave her alone. In any case, she's not in Los Angeles anymore after the events of Bloodlines!!

5. Did they get married or have a family? Why? If otherwise, why not?

See she would like to get married eventually, making a promise to love someone and be with them for eternity (literally... because... vampires) is incredibly romantic and she would love that (THIS is her wedding... not really because she's not that cringe but also.. yeah), so who knows what might happen.

Family though, no!! Starting one isn't possible, at least not with biological children since she's a vampire. It doesn't bother her that much, she always did envision herself with one child in the future but she's not desperate to be a mother anyway so she doesn't beat herself up about it. She does wonder what it might be like to have children and laments it from time to time (she's a little overdramatic) but overall she doesn't mind that much.

7. Are their friends still a part of their life? Are there people they are no longer in touch with, or newly important people?

Yes, sort of! As I mentioned before she's not in L.A. anymore post-bloodlines and she never had many friends there to begin with so she keeps in touch with the few she has there. She miiight make a few new (or old) connections once shes out of Los Angeles too, who knows!

[earstwo]

hi hun, hope you are doing ok. what do you love the most about our beautiful adam?

hi friend! i am doing pretty well, thank you for checking in. i hope you’re doing okay and staying safe/healthy, etc.

as for your ask - i need you to know that i’ve been thinking about how to answer this question since you asked it last night bc i am nothing if not overdramatic. much like with ‘what is your favorite adam look’, there’s no way i could ever narrow it down to just one. it’s physically impossible for me. 

as such, here are a few things i love most about adam driver. these are in no particular order and i will try to not gush…too much, but no promises:

- his sense of humor and the fact that he doesn’t take himself too seriously. you’d think that for how serious and intense he is in general that he’d be like, a stick in the mud when it comes to comedy but he’s just not. i love the fact that he’s hosted SNL 3 times and just gets more and more ridiculous each time. he’s effortlessly funny in a way that we all we wish we could be. 

- he’s very self-deprecating. he makes fun of himself constantly (”that’s a bad joke”, “i’ve derailed this interview and now i can’t remember your question”, “i would be jabba the hutt if i weren’t kylo ren”, etc), and he’s god AWFUL at taking compliments, even when he absolutely deserves them. it’s something that makes me want to bear hug him and tape little post-its on his mirror that say “you are the best human on the planet” so he stops ever thinking otherwise.

- i love how much he lights up when he’s comfortable in his environment. if you haven’t yet, watch the VICE mini documentary about AITAF and his interviews during the logan lucky press tour with channing tatum and you’ll see what i’m talking about. that adam is probably more who adam actually is IRL and it’s literally just…i don’t even know. he’s funny and giggly and silly and absolutely fucking magnetic in every way. it’s almost hard to watch.

- i’ve honestly never tried to put this into words before, so i might fail miserably, but here goes: adam is the kind of dude that i’d be into IRL (putting his looks aside here because duh) because he’s strong and smart and masculine in a way that’s never once felt toxic to me. i love when a guy is self-sufficient and independent. i love when people don’t talk just to talk. that’s something that i struggle with often and i admire so much about him because he thinks about what he says for a long time before he says it and is always thoughtful and considerate with the words he does choose, so they always carry so much more weight. it’s so fucking attractive to me it’s insane. 

- i think it’s so fucking amazing how he’s able to fully transform himself into whatever role he’s playing. he disappears as adam and becomes his character. a perfect example of this is adam sackler, who was my intro to him as an actor. i thought for so long that adam driver just was adam sackler because that was long before i ever watched any interviews/learned about him as a human being. his ability to fully immerse himself in whatever character he’s playing is so incredible that i genuinely can’t see where he stops and his character begins when he’s acting. it’s so goddamn impressive.*side note: i fucking love how dedicated he is to each character he plays, too. doing all his own stunts as ben, learning to drive a fucking bus as paterson, losing 50 lbs for silence. that boy never does anything half-assed and it’s so fucking admirable. 

- his work ethic. don’t judge me too much here, but sometimes when i’m feeling lazy about work or exercising or literally anything, i think about adam driver and how hard he works constantly and it motivates me to get my shit together. i will literally probably never meet this dude, but i still want to be the type of person he’d be friends with and therefore try to always work harder than anyone else in the room. lmao i’m such a mess

- i promise i didn’t intentionally save his looks for the end of this post, and i feel like that’s very telling of how wonderful i think he is as a human, BUT IN ANY CASE, he is obviously incredibly handsome. that goes without saying. people that say he’s ‘weird hot’ can take a long walk off a short bridge, because no. he’s just hot. not ‘unconventionally’ or ‘nontraditionally’ hot. JUST HOT. beautiful. gorgeous. rugged. dark and tall in every way that a heartthrob should be. i love his crooked teeth and his ears because they make him more human; if he didn’t have them it would honestly just be too much. he’s already like a fucking greek god walking among us, we need these little human imperfections (can we even call them that?) to remind us that he’s not actually adonis. i love his hair. i love his eyes and how he can convey 19389294 things with them in mere seconds. i love his stupid half-smiles and smirks. don’t even get me sTARTED ON THE WINKING. men winking in general is something that sends me - watching adam do it had me on the fucking floor gasping for air and wondering when death was going to finally take me. 

- HONORABLE MENTIONS: *he always signs autographs or makes time to go talk to fans*he always turns conversations regarding his talent around so that someone else is receiving the praise instead of him (see: him complimenting noah baumbach’s marriage story script) *the thing with ben affleck’s son and how good he is with kids in general. christ on a cracker, as if i needed more reasons to be obsessed with him*dogs love him too and that’s just not a thing we should take lightly*the fact that he’s not on social media at all and actually hates it*HIS VOICE. JESUS FUCK. HOW COULD I FORGET THAT VOICE??phew, okay - 

i’m not gonna sit here and act like you asked for this, because you didn’t. you asked for me to tell you what i love most and i’ve written you an essay about ALL THE THINGS i love. and i also hope you know that i really did have to pull back here and stop myself from piling more things onto this.

TLDR: adam driver is a devastatingly talented, humble, intelligent, gorgeous, and kind dude. he’s everything that i think a ‘celebrity’ should be and even though i know he doesn’t really care about this kind of stuff, i hope he knows how inspiring he is in so many ways. he’s gotten me to write and create again by simply being my muse and he’s gotten me to be more thoughtful and intentional with my words and actions because of the level of commitment that he gives to everything in his life. i don’t actually know if you can love someone you’ve never met or spoken to, but if you can, i love him. a lot. 

also, i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: i miss him and hope he’s doing okay. knowing what i know about him, he’s probably enjoying the time he’s got to sleep and spend with his family but also probably itching to go back to work. whatever the situation may be, as long as that boi is safe and healthy, i’m gucci. 

[gilmesc1]

Do you have any thoughts on fictional portrayals of DID, like danganronpa, spl!t, and others?

Yes, I usually would take time to do research but lucky for you I already did XD

I looked into Danganronpa a while ago since we have 1 or 2 system mates from it, and in that case, prepare yourselves for a hot mess of my opinion and facts I got from a google fest.

So, to start out, I guess I might share spoilers?? So you hath been warned. Additionally I’m not going to sit here and rephrase the entire story so, honestly why am I even explaining this. Anon at least knows what’s going on XDD

So Danganronpa is a psychological mystery anime that focuses heavily on the themes of hope and despair, where in most versions of the story characters are forced into a killing game where they have to kill each other. Bet you couldn’t have figured that one out on your own XD

One thing I like about it is that the characters overall are written fairly well. Many of them are complex multi layered gems of writing with good development and story arcs. One thing that I found interesting is the semi accurate portrayals of mental illness and how it impacts the characters in this insane situation.

So, let’s break into that. I focused on the portrayals of NPD and DID specifically, and I could go back and look into others, but we’ll focus on those for this post. And just going to throw this out now, I think it’s interesting and also kind of a bold move to tackle those kinds of things in an anime.

So let’s look at the DID portrayal. The character’s name is Toko Fukawa, and she is a fucking wreck. Confirmed emotional abuse gives a lot into her character, and we see her as this timid, deflective, honestly broken shell. Later in the series we are introduced to her alternate personality, I know, exciting.

However it’s a literal serial killer. So like. Yeah.

I don’t love that part. I mean, out of all of the portrayals for this alter, you had to go with serial killer? And not only that, but a really famous, generally acknowledged as insane serial killer. Thaaaanks writer.

To recap what a lot of tumblr says, this kind of portrayal is dangerous because the majority of DID portrayals are of crazy violent stereotypes. It was quite honestly disappointing, and I wish that the writers hadn’t used this as their big reveal.

But hey, neutral standing here, let’s look at why he did do that from a different perspective. Since the theme of the game/anime is killing, it does make sense plot wise to have a serial killer. Additionally, it’s a clever way to get said serial killer into the game in the first place. Plot wise and with a few things I’ll mention in a second, it does make sense in a twisted way.

But let’s get the bad out of the way first. One thing I really don’t love is her appearance. It’s like someone took the original character design of fukawa, took some drugs, and then drew a nightmare creature. Seriously, there’s crazy eyes, hair flying everywhere, and this freaky inhuman tongue that the alter has out no matter what she’s doing. Like whaaaaaat the fuck.

Firstly this spreads misinformation that we can change appearance at will. Like don’t get me wrong, I wish I could, but the best I got is changing clothes if I have the time. Also the tongue I really hate because it gives the impression of the alter being this inhuman monster. Also again with the impression that we can morph stuff when we switch. I mean, if I had that, I’d be having a lot more fun in my day to day life than I do now.

Do what you will with that information.

Additionally we do see Fukawa’s tongue, and it’s not a weird demogorgon kind of thing, so, yeah, the tongue thing is weird.

Finally her name. It’s Genocider Syo/Jack/Jill. Not a normal name, no the only name we have for her is her serial killer name which I feel serves to continue to show her as this inhuman thing where we all go, Oh god oh fuck time to be afraaaaid.

But hey, let’s look at what they did right.

The backstory of how genocider came to be is really accurate to how it works. Fukawa has a history of abuse at a young age, and genocider eventually comes into the picture to protect her.

Let me explain: So this is a theory on my part (Check out Weeby Newz’s youtube video, that’s where I got this) but Fukawa was revealed to have suffered massive emotional abuse at the hands of a boy who she had romantic interest in. Since he was moving away, she decided to confess her love to him in a letter before this happened. Turns out the boy pinned the letter in her classroom so everyone would make fun of her. Dick move.

I think genocider formed after this specific event, firstly because this is a huge defining experience for Fukawa. Additionally, the way genocider acts serves to prove this. Her target victims are boys, and her first victim was the boy who hurt Fukawa. I mean yeah, killing was waaaay extreme, but bear with me on this next part:

I’d say that genocider is a protector. A lot of her initial actions were to protect Fukawa from getting hurt in the same way, and protectors do have a history of going to the extreme to protect their hosts and systems. Even though she seems like a persecutor, I don’t think any of her actions have been directed at herself and Fukawa, they actually seem to have a decent relationship, and to end this theory that is completely non canon and just me pretending I’m smart, I’d call her a protector.

Next, looking at the relationship they have. Genocider at one point tells the protagonist that they have a “non disclosure policy” when they switch when the other is in the middle of something. (like murder??) And I personally really liked this, as it was a kind of realistic DID humor in my eyes. Take it or leave it, that’s my opinion.

And that’s really all I have on that behalf. Genocider really isn’t shown as a “normal person” often, which I guess is the point but also leaves me with nothing to evaluate. (Side note, this is only V1 of the series and I’m aware she changes but dear god go easy on me)

Finally, here are a few things that I find a little weird tbh.

At first glance when they switch, it’s a touch accurate, if over dramatic. Losing consciousness and coming to as a different alter is possible so I do like that, however they also have her constantly switching when sneezing, which is a little out there.

I mean, I think I’ve done that before, but for it to be a consistent theme, idk. Maybe overdramatized again.

Secondly, there is a voice change, which is accurate, but it really just serves to fit the crazy image, so I’m conflicted on that.

So that is really all I can say on that specifically, to end things I’m going to talk about one other character Fukawa has interactions with, Togami. (He has a first name but I can’t spell/remember it.)

So I gravitated towards him while watching the series because he reminds me of me, hence me saying that he seems to be a dead ringer for npd. Let me explain.

He’s very cold and distant from others and obviously feels superior, additionally he is willing to fight tooth and nail to consistently be on top and win in any situation, leading to him doing some fucked up things.

But like I feel for him. It’s like watching me XD

His past was a very competitive cuthroat environment, where he was taught that losing is worse than death. Additionally he was almost groomed to be this untouchable figure so it’s no surprise that he believes that. I might make a second post about him because there’s a lot more I can say, but I’m going to double back to Fukawa now.

So Fukawa gains a very unhealthy obsession with Togami, despite him wanting literally nothing to do with her. He’s verbally abusive to her and does go out of his way to attack her, but she thinks it’s a sign of love. Poor Fukawa.

This also kind of fits with NPD, because we can have some pretty gravitating personalities. I think the attraction has a lot to do with Fukawa’s mental state, but I just found it interesting that the emotional abuse victim gravitates to Togami of all people.

So I brought him up for that above thought I had, and also to compare this last point. So Fukawa was confirmed to have DID, like it was specifically stated. To my knowledge it was never stated that Togami has NPD, but I strongly assume that he does. (key word assume, I could be wrong.)

So I found it interesting that Togami has this very accurate portrayal of NPD without ever confirming that he has NPD, while Fukawa is specifically confirmed to have DID while having a semi accurate portrayal. I think the writer really wanted to include mental illness in his story line and I doubt he intended anything to be intentionally harmful.

Writing mental illness into a story is very very very tricky, and it’s practically impossible to satisfy everyone, but the fact that he did do it is in my opinion, very bold.

He made good and less good choices, but overall he did make very compelling characters. Genocider admittedly fits better in this plotline as a crazy killer than she would as a realistic alter, but this is fiction.

So final statements: Toko Fukawa is not a bad character. I like a lot about her and overall I think she is very well written. Genocider is very less developed and more of a surprise plot twist than a character, which is unrealistic. The writer made some very awkward choices from a realistic standpoint despite it fitting well with his story.

So overall, she really isn’t a good portrayal of DID. You can enjoy her character like I did, but the main takeaway here is to not take her as a realistic portrayal. I know it seems obvious but this is the kind of thing that forms unhealthy ideas in viewers.

I’m not hating on Danganronpa or Toko, I actually really loved both. I’ve tried to stop ranting about fictional works that I hate. I used to be a loose fucking canon but I realized that I had been bashing a few autistic friend’s special interests, so now I try to be hyper aware that a fictional work might mean everything to someone even if I personally disliked it.

But that isn’t the case here because again I loved Danganronpa XD

So friends, that about does it for me. I liked doing this kind of analysis so if you want me to do more, send them my way XD

My next post will probably be the syscourse analysis if I can get that done before I get an easier topic. So thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed, thank you for the ask anon.

And I’m now out of words. You all should be happy. XD

[quercussp]

Space inside

Rating: G

Word count: 1.8k

Summary: 

Dan and Phil Massive Pizza Mukbang, 28:30

"Do you ever feel like you don't have a personality?" "What?" "Ok, scratch that, next conversation."

Authors note:

Dan saying this was the first time I realized that I'm not the only one who experiences this. It shook me, because I've never been able to explain it to anybody, but I suddenly felt heard. This is the result of me processing this for over a year.

Thank you to @ahappydnp​ for being a wonderful and supportive beta and for validating my feelings from a scientific point of view. I really appreciate it.

Warnings: vague mention of self hatred, insecurity and depression, but nothing graphic.

[read on ao3]

The whole charger situation just never made sense to Phil. No matter how many chargers they had strategically placed in different rooms, when his phone was just about to run out, he could never find a charger. He for sure remembered that he had one plugged next to his nightstand in the bedroom, so that is why he bust into the bedroom and caught Dan standing in his pants in front of the mirror and staring at himself.

It wasn’t that rare of an occurrence to find Dan looking in the mirror. Dan cared about his looks. It took him ages to pick out clothing, he sometimes spent hours making sure his hair looked exactly the way he wanted it to, and those couple of times when Dan tried out make up, it took him no less than an hour to settle on the eyeshadow color he was going with.

But right now Dan didn’t look like he was deciding anything. He was looking at himself in the mirror with an expression that Phil didn’t see often these days: fear. Of course, as his partner, Phil knew that sometimes Dan had trouble with seeing himself in a positive light. While in the grip of self hate or doubt, he would often turn his aggression towards himself, throwing around words like “ugly” (a word that Phil learned to translate to what Dan actually meant, which was worthless). Years of bullying and feeling like you are created wrong definitely did not leave Dan scarless, and sometimes those demons came out to torture him one last time.

“You ok there, bub?” Phil asked carefully. He walked around to Dan and, to his horror saw, that there was a tear running down Dan’s face.

Dan let out a quiet shuddered breath, like he was trying to hold himself together. Sometimes Phil wished Dan came with an instruction manual. Because as much as he loved him, as much as he knew him in an out, sometimes he just could not understand what was going on in his partners head, no matter how hard he tried. Sometimes just a hug would make Dan feel better, and sometimes even the most harmless comment could send him spiralling. Accepting that there were parts of Dan that Phil had no knowledge of was hard, but probably necessary. And even after accepting it, he sometimes desperately wished he could just understand what was going on so he could help. Because he would do anything to help.

So instead he just stood there, next to Dan, waiting for some instruction.

Finally, after a long pause Dan turned to Phil and said: “I don’t know who this person is.”

If not for the tone of Dan’s voice, Phil would probably laugh. He would make a joke about an alien abduction or Dan being a clone, or say something corny along the lines of “this is someone I really want to bang” or something like that. But Dan’s voice was so painful and so scared, that Phil knew that this was serious. That Dan was serious about it. And it made no sense. He wanted to ask “Dan what the hell do you mean this is you, you’ve been you for your entire life”, but he bit his tongue and just laced his hand through Dan’s in a show of silent support.

Sometimes saying less is more, especially when you have no clue what to say.

“I don’t know who this is, Phil” said Dan with even more desperation in his voice.

“Dan, it’s you”. Phil felt like this is the wrong thing to say, because surely Dan knew it was him. What kind of an obvious answer was that? But he honestly just didn’t know what else to say.

Apparently, he was right and it was the wrong thing to say. The single tear on Dan’s cheek immediately was joined by several others and he let out a shaky breath.

“Phil, I don’t know who I am,” Dan said through his tears.

A part of Phil wanted to laugh in disbelief. This has been a joke Dan has said so many times. A “relatable existential crisis” Dan has talked about in videos and tweeted about constantly. Something that became part of his brand, just like the sarcastic humor and black clothing. So sometimes it was hard for Phil to remember that Dan wasn’t pretending. He wasn’t just saying these things. Sometimes, he actually meant them. And Phil had no idea what to say. Because it was something Phil just could not understand. What does that even mean? Not knowing who you are? Phil knew who he was. He was Phil, a person, a youtuber, a son, a partner. He was clumsy and smart and loved sweets and just existed. It was impossible for Phil to imagine how someone can doubt that.

But the obvious pain Dan was in showed Phil that Dan was actually in real doubt.

Once again Phil wished for set of instructions. He felt like he was failing his partner, who was obviously in pain. Oh what wouldn’t Phil do to stop Dan’s tears. So he did the only thing he could think of, which was pull Dan to his chest and hug him.

“I don’t understand, Dan, I’m really sorry,” Phil whispered in his ear. “I love you though, I really really do.”

He could feel Dan shake against his chest, “I feel like I don’t exist.”

“But you do, you do exist, Dan, you’re right here!” Phil mumbled pulling him even closer.

“I don’t know if I do, Phil. I don’t know if I exist.” Dan replied with another shuddering breath, pressing his wet face into the crook of Phil’s neck. “How can you be sure of it? I feel like I’m just pretending all the time, it’s just masks and there’s nothing inside. What if there’s nothing inside?” He could feel Dan shake again, more tears soaking into Phil’s shirt.

“I know Dan. I know you. I know you exist and I love you.” Phil muttered desperately. “I love you, I promise you, you exist, I can feel it.” He hugged Dan even tighter to his chest, as though hoping that he can squeeze Dan’s doubts away.

“Are you sure, Phil?” Dan’s voice was still teary and quiet, but to Phil’s enormous relief, he could feel a quiet note of hope in it.

“Dan, I’ve known you for years. I know you, the real you, even if you don’t. I know you and I love you. I promise, you wouldn’t be able to fool me. Just believe me, you’re there. You’re there and you’re amazing.”

“You promise?” Dan’s voice sounded like a child at that moment. He lifted his face and looked at Phil, eyes red and wet, with snot coming out of his nose and his hair in total disarray.

Sometimes looking at Dan like this made Phil’s entire soul clench with love. This is why he couldn’t understand what Dan was talking about. Because this was Dan. His Dan. His real, warm, soft Dan, who felt things so hard that could cry for hours about being scared of not existing. Who unironically doubted everything about himself and the world. Who’s emotions were so raw and so real, that Phil could just not understand how Dan could imagine them not to be. Dan was looking at him with so much hope, as though Phil had all the answers in the world, as though even if Dan couldn’t trust himself, he would believe Phil.

“I promise, Dan.” Phil felt overwhelmed with that trust. He pressed soft kisses all over Dan’s face, wiping his tears. “I love you Dan, the real you, I promise”.

They stood in front of the mirror for a couple more minutes, Dan half naked and crying, and Phil in his pajamas, trying his hardest to comfort him.

“Sorry,” Dan mumbled after a pause. “Sorry for being dramatic, it’s stupid.”

Classic Dan. After any moment of vulnerability he always had the instinct to downplay his emotions.

“Shut up Dan, it’s not stupid,” Phil replied, keeping his voice light and joking. If Dan needed to retreat a bit, put some barriers up, Phil wasn’t going to stop him. Even though he doesn’t understand why it hurts, Phil can definitely understand the feeling of vulnerability that comes afterwards. He squeezed him in a hug one more time and let go.

“I’m fucking freezing,” Dan mumbled moving away from Phil and automatically threading his hands through his hair, trying to tame it back into something presentable.

“Of course you’re freezing, you naked weirdo,” Phil replied. He walked over to their closet and pulled out a pair of his fluffiest warmest pajamas. “Here, put this on,” he said, throwing them at Dan.

“I have my own clothing, thank you very much,” said Dan sarcastically. Phil just chuckled, because with all the indignation in his voice, Dan was obediently pulling on Phil’s fluffy pajamas. “Also aren’t you supposed to like me naked?” Dan asked, buttoning up the pajama shirt.

“I like you naked when you’re not a human popsicle,” Phil replied. “C’mon, let's go have some tea”. Just as he was saying it, the phone in his pocket let out an angry vibration, reminding Phil of why he came into the bedroom in the first place. He started rummaging through his nightstand for the charger, only to see it wasn’t there.

“Dan, have you seen my charger?” he asked, as Dan was was pulling on some socks.

“Oh my god Phil, have you lost your charger again?! Why did you even take it from here, I got you a charger for the living room last week! Phil! What the hell! Just stop taking the chargers, you idiot, what the fuck?”

Even though Dan’s voice was frustrated and his frustration was clearly directed at Phil, Phil couldn’t help but feel relief. Something that has been clenched in his chest relaxed and his face stretched into a smile.

This Dan he knew how to talk to. This was his shrieking, passionate, (slightly overdramatic if you ask Phil, he only lost his charger once or twice. Or maybe like ten times, no need to get so worked up) Dan.

“It was right here! I swear I didn’t take it! It must have run away!”

“Yes, Phil, the charger ran away, of course it did” Dan replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He reached into his own nightstand and pulled out his own iphone cord. “Here, you spork, but don’t you dare lose this one, I’ll fucking end you.”

Dan thrust the tangled up wires at Phil and stomped out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. Phil could hear him putting the kettle on. Maybe it was time for some hot chocolate, Phil wondered. He was sure Dan probably had a bag of marshmallows hidden somewhere, besides the bag that Phil found last week.

He walked out of the bedroom with the phone and the charger to join Dan.

[half-heaven]

Cresswell Au day! tlc ship weeks. Its apart of the Au ship weeks series that i made so i your confused about the chapters then thats why

yeah i should've done this earlier.

Starbucks AU

Chapter 2, Real

___________________________________________________________

Cress sighed. It had been a tiresome day.

She wasn't good with large crowds of people, or with small groups of people, or with a few customers in the store, or well...she just wasn't good with people. She had tried, lord knows she tried her hardest. But her fainting that one time at the register made it clear that she was not suited for the socializing part of the job. So Scarlet put her in the Drive-Thru. Cress's job was to take the orders, she never complained though. She wanted some freedom from her room back home, so she would take any job. Her father said that her working wasn't necessary, that he provided more than enough money for the two of them working as a scientist. Cress didn't care. She just wanted to have a semblance of freedom, she wanted to get out and experience things. She wanted to conquer this social awkwardness, courtesy of staying inside and programming since she was ten. She was going to, at least, try.

Cress heard another round of orders being said into her headset. She typed quickly, not missing a beat. She blew upwards, her actions clearing her vision of the loose hair. She told them to drive to the window. They pulled up next to her window and she took the money carefully to not to drop any. She thanked them and they pulled up to the next window. Thorne's window.

Thorne had been her crush for her entire time working here and in highschool. She would dare say she loved him but that might be a bit overdramatic. She had seen him a few times in school but never really knew him. He had graduated last year, and with that came the overabundance of signatures in yearbooks. Most of the yearbooks were owned by girls. Hers was one of them. She thought he was incredibly handsome and had developed feelings for him, which is why she had nearly screamed when he unknowingly signed her yearbook. That was why she was stoked when she happened to talk to him on the first day of her working here. He was so kind and supportive towards her, so kind in fact that she had nearly asked him to marry her right then and there. Thankfully, she didn't. He had a girlfriend.

Darla.

She very much disliked Darla, hate was much too strong of a word. Though with how much she disliked her, hate might be the right word.

1. Because Darla was much too aggressive, with Thorne, and with other men.

2. She was cheating on Thorne, well Thorne was cheating on her too but that wasn't the issue here. He flirted with every girl in the cafe, including the staff, accept for Cress. He also collected many numbers via Drive-Thru window.

3. Darla had called Cress a middle schooler. Cress was in her junior year of high school.

4. Darla was fake. Not like silicone, well she might as well have been. She was obviously not sporting real curves. That irked Cress because she lied about it.

5. Winter did not like her. Winter liked everyone. If she didn't like Darla that meant bad news.

Why couldn't Thorne found someone better, someone real?

'Someone like you?'

Cress blushed. Why must her mind be so blunt? Maybe she hadn't given her enough of a chance? No, she had. She had tried to befriend her but Darla just gave her a dirty look. Cress could tell she was one of those girls who would talk about you while in your presence. If you asked what they were talking about they would lash out and tell you to mind your business. Cress had dealt with a few girls like that in highschool.

'Even Sybil was more tolerable.' Cress thought.

Another car pulled in and Cress greeted them. She mustn't lose focus. She heard laughing. She turned her head in the direction of the noise and found Thorne looking at her. Her face heated up and she whipped her head back to the computer. She took down the orders and told them to head to the window. She turned her head a bit and glanced to see if he was still looking at her. He was. She slowly turned her head to the computer again.

What was she supposed to do?

The car outside the window honked. She jumped. Cress hurried to open the window and took the money. She muttered a few apologies to the customer before they drove to the next window. She can't lose focus! Not even for Thorne...

She glanced at the clock overhead and took a breath. Her shift change was soon. Hopefully, she would make it through.

There wasn't any activity in the drive-thru for at least 30 minutes after the last customer. This wasn't really all that strange but on a busy day like today, it made her wary. Emilee would be switching with her soon so she just leaned back against the wall and relaxed. She glanced out the window. A car drove by. What?

Cress turned around and caught sight of Darla and Thorne making out through the window. She heard Cinder gag. Cress felt her heart squeeze. It hurt. Why must it hurt? She blinked rapidly to keep the beginning of tears from spilling over. How troublesome.

She looked back up at the clock and breathed through her reddening nose. Shift change. She was grateful to have a moment of peace. She needed to get a grip.

If it hurt this much, could it be love? Maybe...

She walked by them to the back room. She sat on one of the benches and breathed. This wasn't worth it. She decided that she had to get over him. It was the only way she would be able to keep working here while they were dating. She heard Emilee's voice after a few minutes. Thank god.

The door to the break room opened and Thorne stepped through. It wasn't his shift change with Kinney so what-

"Are you okay?" He sounded genuinely concerned. She felt another tug at her heart. She didn't want to worry him.

"Y-yeah, just a bit tired." Her voice sounded a lot more vulnerable than she had anticipated. She looked up from her lap and her breath caught. His eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes seemed...sad.

"Why are you lying?" He asked quietly. She felt her body stiffen.

"There's no need to. We're friends right?" His voice sounded hurt, genuinely hurt.

"Of course! I just...I just don't feel comfortable around Darla is all." She decided to be honest. Honesty is the best policy, in some situations.

"Did she bother you?" He sounded a little more angry. She blushed a bit.

"N-no, I just feel a bit uncomfortable around her. She didn't really do anything." She lied. Darla did do something.

'She was your fake, obnoxious, and rude girlfriend.' Cress thought.

"Are you sure? I'd be willing to talk to her for you." No! that's the last thing Cress needed.

"No! I-I mean, no. It's fine. I just need to get used to the- the-,"

"The fakeness?" He smiled, " I heard you mumbling while you were working."

"What! Oh, my stars! I'm sorry! I didn't really- well I did but- I mean I-," She was red, unbelievably red. She was also ashamed, very much ashamed.

"Nah! You're fine. I completely agree with you." He laughed.

"Then why do you-" She was confused.

"My friend was trying to get her out of his bed. So he asked me to ask her out, being the good friend I am, I did, haven't been able to shake her off since." He said tiredly. Cress felt bad for him.

"Have you told her how you feel?" She felt a bit more comfortable. So he didn't like Darla. No! She mustn't get her hopes up.

"Yeah, she slapped me." He said rubbing his cheek. She gasped.

"Are you okay?!" He stared at her then smiled.

"Yeah." He said smiling.

Cress blushed. Why was he so handsome? Why did he make her heart warm and fuzzy? Why did she have to like him so much?

"Carswell-y!" A sickeningly fake sweet voice said.

Thorne sighed and glared at the door. Cress looked down at her lap.

Oh boy.

The door burst open and the girl flipped her hair back from her face. There was a man on her arm. He looked like a frat lord.

"Carswell, this is Leo. Leo, this is my ex-boyfriend. Ta Ta~!" She then skipped out with the man on her arm. Thorne looked a bit shocked but no pain crossed his features. He smiled. The smile was so big, Cress thought he would start a song. She smiled along with him. He looked at her and winked. She thought she heard the blush rush to her cheeks.

"Well, it looks like I'm off the hook!" He cheered, "good thing too, she was not my type." Thorne shook his head and headed to the door. Cress spoke before she could stop herself.

"Then what is your type?" She asked. She blushed again. Curse her ever-questioning mouth. She prepared herself for the backlash.

He turned and looked at her. He let the question hang in the air for a few seconds. He smiled, warm and bright. Cress felt her heart beat quicken.

"Someone real." With that, he closed the door and left Cress to blush.

________________________________________________________________

Thx for reading 💕 ( yeah i've never worked at starbucks so sorry if its not completely accurate.)

[isnotys]

Clouds Pt 2

Summary: Embarrassed about the smoke cloud Snapchat mistake, Grayson seeks comfort in y/n and Ethan gets really jealous. Y/n takes it upon herself to convince Ethan that she isn’t stealing Gray away, but merely wants to share him.

Warnings: fluff, jealousy

Part 1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`~~~~

“Some girl?!?” I said, my heart breaking into a thousand pieces as I felt a thousand cuts all through my body. I thought we were all friends, I know we became a closer group because Gray and I got together, but I felt I had bonded with E and I thought we were actually friends. 

Emma actually reintroduced us at an event and they remembered me from our interview for Clevver and that’s how our friendship started. Although I had become his friend because Emma was my bff and his brother became my boyfriend, I considered Ethan one of my closest and most trusted friends. And having been in the entertainment industry for a while, that was a difficult thing to find. 

I tried to keep my calm even though I just wanted to cry, hit him and then hug him. “Though you have a reason to think I am your friend just because your girlfriend is my best friend and your brother my boyfriend, I actually care very much about you,” I said trying to keep my voice calm and so it wouldn’t break just like my heart did. 

This took him by surprise, he tried to keep an angry face, but I saw that it softened him a little. He spoke in a low voice, knowing someone might hear, but firmly, “I don’t believe that for a second, and I don’t trust you.”

My heart dropped to my stomach. 

Grayson came in suddenly and he notably felt the tension in the air, “Is everything ok?” he asked keeping his eyes on Ethan. 

“Just fine,” Ethan said, but he obviously couldn’t fool Grayson. There is no one on this earth that Grayson knows better than Ethan. 

“There’s something wrong here, I can tell,” Gray said. 

“Your girlfriend here is pretending to be my friend to steal you away from me, and I am done with it,” Ethan said looking at me, eyes dark with anger. However, he couldn’t stand to look at Grayson because he knew that the words coming out of his mouth were gonna hurt his twin brother. 

“That is not true at all,” Emma says coming out of nowhere. I had completely forgotten she was even here and couldn’t get a word out of my mouth, my head was spinning. Meanwhile, Grayson wouldn’t take his eyes off of me, I was completely unable to look at him and just kept staring at the wall past Ethan. 

I love Gray more than anything, but I know him pretty well and no matter how much he loved me if his brother wasn’t on board with our relationship, I know that will eventually drive a wedge between us. I need to make this right.

“Emma’s right, E. Y/n has done nothing but prove that she’s a real friend to all of us. She’s even-“

“THERE YOU GO AGAIN DEFENDING HER, WHY DONT YOU SIDE WITH ME??? YOU LITERALLY PUSHED ME OUT OF THE WAY TO GET TO HER SO SHE COULD COMFORT YOU! THIS IS SUCH BULLSHIT!!!” Ethan says completely losing it and not even caring enough to fake it anymore. He honestly looks like he’s about to cry, but he’s too proud for that. 

Grayson tries to talk to him and grab onto him, but he storms off to his room and slams the bedroom door behind him. “This is completely uncalled for and totally unfair. He’s wrong!” Grayson says visibly upset. 

Emma looks at me waiting for me to say something, but words fail me. Not only did mistake Ethan for a friend, I knew no matter what, this was gonna have a negative effect on my relationship with Grayson. Chills ran through my whole body and I had this unmistakable knot in my throat that meant I was about to lose it myself. 

Grayson, who had just had a terrible day himself, hugged me so tight I could barely breathe. He knows Ethan is being his overdramatic, but he also doesn’t want him to feel left out or that he is being exchanged for someone else. After all, they have been through so much together, but that’s just it, their bond is unbreakable no matter what or who tries to come between them and I certainly wasn’t trying to. 

“I can’t believe he shows more jealousy for Grayson than for me,” Emma says forcing a laugh to try and help the situation. 

“I get it,” I say trying to keep it together. “He sees me as a threat, not as a friend. I think we should give him some space. Grayson you should go talk to him,” I say pushing him away. 

He looks at me confused and even hurt. “You want to leave?” he says and his voice cracks a little.

“No, but you guys need to figure this out. If you don’t, it’ll only hurt all of us in the long run. And as much as I want to talk to him, maybe yell at him a little, this will only make things worse.” 

After that, I just leave. 

⁃         -              -           -            -             -

It’s been a couple of days after the incident, Grayson and I have been talking through it, but I haven’t had the courage enough to go to his house. I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m avoiding him, which isn’t all that untrue. I just have a history of not being able to keep my cool and I know that the more I stay away the better the chance we have of things working out in a positive way. And to be quite honest, it’s not like Ethan has done anything to make it any better. 

I hear a knock on my door after coming out of the shower. It was a Saturday and it’s not like I have that many friends to begin with and they certainly would let me know before coming here. 

As I open the door I see the back of a tall figure as he turns around I am astonished to see who it is. Out of all people, Ethan is not the one to ever apologize first. 

“Hi. Can I come in?” he says in a low voice, calm and cool, but avoiding eye contact at all costs. 

“Yeah, sure. Can I offer you anything to drink? I just got some-“ I say, but he quickly cuts me off. 

“I need to apologize for my shitty behavior. You are a good girlfriend to my brother and I need to respect boundaries.” He says firmly and looking me in the eyes. His brother might win me over with those eyes, but he can’t. 

“You see, Ethan, I don’t have an issue with you wanting more time alone with your brother. I am more than willing to compromise and find a better balance for you to have your space and time with each other.” I say as I stare him down so he knows I mean what I say, but that I won’t let him manipulate me.

“That’s great. See? All fixed! Now Grayson will be happy,” he said with what I’d call a fake enthusiasm.

“That’s exactly the problem here, Ethan. I thought we were friends, good ones. And you just see me as the girl who’s trying to steal your brother away? We were all friends before we started dating. You even said you didn’t trust me,” I say my voice breaking and shedding quite a few tears against my own will. I hate crying in front of people, not because of them thinking of it as a weakness, but they usually think that you do it on purpose. Or worse they’d let you win an argument so you stop crying rather than because you were right all along. 

I don’t think that’s what’s going through his mind though, although I don’t dare look at him. The tension dissipates a little. He shifts and when I look at his face he looks surprised and somehow he seems to have put his guard down.

“It’s not that I don’t see you as a friend. I just thought you felt obligated to hang out with me because your best friend is my girlfriend and you are dating my brother,” he says trying to read my face. I can’t blame him for not trusting many people, after all, in this industry and all that they have been through, it’s better to be careful. 

“I understand that and that it’s your instinct to protect your brother and the bond you have together. However, I care about him and I care about you as a friend as well and not just because of my relationship with him. I felt you and I had bonded over our crappy past friendships and hardships,” I say wiping the tears from my face, and he seems to realize what this has all been about. 

“You are right. Damn, I am truly sorry y/n, sometimes to protect ourselves we build walls and end up hurting people. I guess I’ve been keeping you at bay so that I don’t get attached, but I also don’t want to see my brother get hurt. Maybe I thought I could protect him from you, but I see now there’s nothing to protect him from,” he says almost whispering and keeping a low stare.

“I am completely in love with your brother and I don’t want to take him from you, I want to share him. He’s annoying, loud and hyper, but he’s sweet, kind, caring and hot as hell,” I blurt it all out because it’s the truth. Nothing has ever felt as special and genuine as my relationship with Grayson and I can’t let anything get in the way of being with him. He’s my person.

“I should’ve known better, y/n. You do care about him and I think you should talk to him,” Ethan says looking worried.  

“Why do you say that?” I ask now getting worried.

“He thinks I ran you off.”

“Oh, you’re not getting rid of me that easily,” I say gathering my stuff so Ethan takes me to their place to surprise Gray.

When we come through the door, we can hear Grayson is in the kitchen, so I rush there. It smells like he’s been baking *dairy-free* cookies.

Once he sees me his expression changes drastically, he runs to hug me and spins me around. 

“I’ve missed you so much peaches, I thought I lost you,” he whispers into my neck making all of the hairs on my body stand up. 

“You could never,” I can barely say because he just kisses me, making me melt into his arms and for once in a long time, everything feels right. 

The End

[glamrockmonarch]

Maybe Not Part 2: Someone Else’s Baby

Summary: Part 2 of Maybe Not in which Ben finds out a little too late that he definitely wants to sweep you off your feet. Will you take him now?

Word count: 3687

A/N: There is a word count because it’s long guys. I am fully aware of the situation around Sony and Marvel sharing Spidey&co rights but for the sake of this one they are all just Marvel, okay? Okay. Also, it took me like two weeks writing this because it just didn’t seem to want to happen, although the awesome @rogertyalor lent me a hand in my time of need (I love you, thank you sooo much!) Anyway, I hope you enjoy, I tried to put this together about four times(?) but this is the final version and I’m happy with it! Blah! 

Enjoy!!

You walked out of the lift with your assistant right behind you as you strutted all the way through the reception to the doors out of the hotel. Today you were going home after the wonderful end of the award season.

Lights flashed around in every direction once you stepped outside and the cameras captured the sight of you for prosperity or more accurately; for cheap gossip magazines.

The wonderful outfit put together on the last minute by your stylist for the long eleven-hour flight from the US to England consisted of a simple green retro Adidas tracksuit and a white bustier top that were paired with sneakers and a ponytail that gave your h/c hair a rest from the heat you had put it through during award season in order to look your absolute best.

Having received your first Oscar only two nights before for your role on room, you were officially a force to be reckoned with in the industry. The award for best actress would look good with your other baby: your Bafta. Along with the number of movies and plays you had been on since your childhood, it was obvious to the world that you were only getting better in your artistry.

Although the way to this day was fun, it was also paved with sweat and tears. Not everyone you relied on was there to see you grow out of your theatre child days, and the people who were had to conform with late night calls, rare brunch dates or straight up not seeing you for weeks or months while you did your research or trained as it had been the case before going into production with room, and before you took on the role of Jessica Drew. Who could have known that being a Spider on the big screen would open so many doors for you!

With the back door of the large SUV open, you stepped inside and sat with your assistant as she started cribbing in the agenda, while the car started moving she looked up and spoke from behind her pair of sunglasses, which she pushed on top of her head to lay as a headband of sorts on top of her dark blonde locks.

“You have a couple of days to yourself next week,” she smiled, her brows arching up. “tomorrow you have interviews in the morning and Maggie is meeting you at 5:00.”

Maggie, your manager, wanted to see you to have a chat about what the next steps in your career would be, as well as laying down the agenda for the year since you would be playing Spider-Woman again for the next Avengers, shooting was still a month away and you needed to be back on the gym soon if you wanted to feel entirely comfortable in your tight suit.

“Thank you, Liz.” You nodded and turned your attention to your phone.

Fishing the large flat apparatus from your Gucci backpack you unlock the screen and find a bunch of texts crowding your notifications, making you giggle as you go through some of them. Tom’s brother and amazing photographer Harry had decided that the best way of spending his morning was sending you pictures of himself with your lovely Savvy while he doggysat for both you and his brother. Although you loved to see your baby girl having a good time you hated to be away from her, since you were invited by Taika to become Spider-Woman and lead the way with your own solo film to introduce the character you were away from home a lot and Savvy sometimes had to stay home with your parents while you worked.

Along the messages there were some from Ben, who had taken the flight back home a day earlier than you, having only enough time to recover from the major hungover he gave himself after partying like it was ‘99 after the Oscars.

His texts ranged from “hey, how’s the prettiest Academy Award Winner in history?” to “I was wondering if you needed someone to pick you up from the airport? I’m offering if it wasn’t obvious enough Y/N.”

“Oh, damn…” you said out loud and turned your gaze at Liz, who cocked a brow your way with her own phone in her hands, “Ben’s offering to pick me up when we land.”

Liz let out a huff.

“Didn’t you say he never paid attention to you?” She accused you with narrowed eyes.

A chuckle escaped your lips as you thought about the old story. It came up after the first time Liz arrived at your place early one morning and Ben was already there in his comfy sweatpants, upon seeing you in your pj’s your assistant nearly had a heart attack thinking she had intruded in your personal life - wink, wink. Lucky for her Ben was clearly close to you but as his eyes showed nothing more than care towards you and his hands only found your hair to mess with the very top of it, Liz’s nerves were put at ease until your friend left and you were able to explain in full length that although you did have a huge crush on him it was only that and nothing ever would come out of it.

“He did not!” Your voice went up an octave, this was weird for you too. “Do you think he might be over-compensating?”

Liz shrugged as she looked up at the ceiling of the car. You twisted your mouth to the side and bit on the inside of your cheek as you pondered this.

“Does he know you’re landing at like 2:00 in the morning?”

You and Liz turn your heads to look at each other with small smiled appearing on your faces.

“Tell him!” She urges you, “that way you can tell me what happened when I pick you up.”

“Alright, alright!” You giggle as you send him a text to let him know you’d love it if he picked you up.

After putting your phone down on your lap you looked out the window. All the way to the airport you were caught up in your head; truth be told, you and Ben had distanced from each other since before you signed the contract with Marvel. After the tragic exchange you had at the dog park things never were the same, you could see Ben taking a step back from your relationship.

It did not change from one to the next, but every time you felt less like his friend and more like an acquaintance. Ben no longer arrived at your place for breakfast, he stopped texting you altogether after a while and all your contact would be through comments on your Instagram stories. From time to time you would meet at an event or see each other at friend’s parties or gatherings. All in all, you had only remained up to date with each other’s life to an extent, but nothing like it was before. You doubted it would ever be like it used to be, and blamed it on the afternoon at the park.

“Get out of your head, we need to go across the airport and the cameras are everywhere Y//N!”

Liz snapped her fingers in front of your face and made sure to put your phone away in her bag before the two of you went on a quest to avoid the comments and questions from the people taking pictures.

While you waited in line to get your stuffed checked by the security you heard Liz go on about what Ben was really looking for.

“Obviously he saw you with James and got jealous…” she sighed overdramatically, “good for him!”

“I’m sure he just wants to be a better friend, we did have a ball at all the parties…” You shrugged it off.

It was not until about eleven hours later that you landed back home. The media in London was going nuts over your win at the Oscars and it was overwhelming, to say the least, the reception you got with paps piling around the open spaces at the airport, the lights that blinded you and the yelling, oh the yelling!

“Are you now dating McAvoy?! Y/N! Y/N! Are you?!” Some of them yelled, somehow expecting you would give them any sort of answer.

With Liz and the security people walking you through to the exit, you held your phone close to your chest, not even able to reply to Ben’s texts as you had a small reminder of what everyone in British media was apparently going crazy about the pictures of you and James McAvoy taken while you were backstage at award show.

James was someone you’d known for quite some time since you first met while on the set of Penelope back in 2005, and upon seeing you win such an important award he was quick to find you backstage and wrap you in a tight hug that felt nothing else but fraternal, although it looked like something even romantic to everyone around the world. Deciding on staying close for the reminder of the evening did not help too much either with the gossips going around, traveling at the speed of broadband across the world…

So of course, by the time you saw Ben’s car outside you were aware of the confusion about to fly all the way back to America and hit the US media with full force as the passenger’s door was open and Liz got some security people organized to put your luggage in the boot. Ben’s face was unmistakable even behind the large RayBans and black cap. You stepped inside and covered your eyes with your hand as you watched the door being closed by your assistant.

“Get some sleep, I’ll see you at 10:00!”

Everything was - as is always was with the paparazzi, confusion, but Ben had a clearer mind than you and with one last glance at the mirrors, he put his hand on the stick and changed gears to start moving the car.

“Hey!” You finally managed to say as you left the blinding flashes behind.

“Hey you,” Ben said in an odd voice, cheery yet raspy as if he had been asleep.

“You know, I didn’t expect you to actually agree to come to get me.” You managed to say before a yawn hit you and you had to cover your mouth to let it out. “Thank you, though. Liz is happy to be going straight home!”

Ben let out a laugh and a small side smile appeared on his face, as he jokingly started teasing you.

“Well, of course! I did it for her, what did you think?”

Ben put his RayBans on the dashboard and you stared at his profile, tracing the outline of his little nose with your gaze as if by doing this you would be able to remember him better until the next time you had the chance to see him.

“Uh, do you want her number? I can hook you up!” You pushed some strands of your hair back, feeling like a complete mess after the long flight, “she’s like... 27…” You closed one of your eyes as you tried your best to remember Liz’ birthday, which you were sure was coming up in the near future.

“Gee, thanks!” Ben put one of his hands out as he kept the other one on the wheel. “I think I’ve got yours, that’s all I need.”

Laughing lightly you sniffed and crossed your arms over your chest feeling tired. The thing about flights like the one you just got off of was that you did not really rest while you napped up there and you arrived in the middle of the night so your body was ready to be tucked in.

“I never noticed,” you said and reached out to touch Ben’s ear, “there is this tiny little...mole on your ear.”

As you examined his ear Ben giggled and took the cap off, allowing for you to have the best view possible of his ear, which turned bright pink as you captured it between your fingers in your drowsy state of mind.

“How are you?” He wondered once you dropped your hands on your lap and looked out the window.

With one glance, Ben was smiling; you looked the same as you had looked before, when you were so close you would basically tell each other everything. You had braced yourself and laid your head on the side of the seat as you sat somewhat wrong with your body turned halfway to face him as he drove.

“I’m very happy, thanks.” You commented, “I’ve got a lot of work,l some is wanted and some is just...part of the job I guess. I have to get to the gym on Monday though...but yeah, I’m doing quite well. You?”

Ben stopped at a red light not too far from your home and turned his head to look at you with a nod before explaining to you that he was doing fine too.

“Playing Roger Taylor changed my life, I think I’m getting more attention from casting directors now.”

You hummed in glee. Happy for him, knowing he was a talented young man with a bright future since the day you met him, it made you proud and happy to see that he was climbing his way to the top.

“I haven’t watched the film, you know?” You admitted out of the blue. “I’ve seen some clips, but I’ve been so busy! Marvel’s sucking the youth out of me, Ben!”

“Could be worse, you could have to wear no shirt for your scenes…” he shrugged and kept driving when the light turned green.

“Ben, that is only bad for you, everyone else is just sitting at the cinema watching your gorgeous face match up with your wonderful abs. I don’t know why would I have to wear a skin-tight suit in which, by the way: I’m not even able to wear proper underwear with...that will end up being edited on the post anyway.”

“Underwear is overrated, Y/N, what are you talking about?” Ben said half-jokingly.

You cocked a brow at him and rubbed the sleep out of your eyes for the hundredth time that day.

“I don’t know what you are talking about… first thing I’m doing when I get home: put on some fresh underwear.”

Ben gave you a funny look before turning his attention back at the road. After only a few more minutes you arrived at your place, Ben helped you get out of the car and together pulled your luggage out of the boot of the car, going inside you realised that the house felt too quiet without Savvy. Ben followed behind you and waited until you closed the door, making sure you were safe inside.

“Ugh, I hate time zones…” you mumbled as you kicked your sneakers off, “no shoes in the house, Benjamin!”

He took off his shoes too and followed with your bags hanging from his shoulders and your large suitcase rolling beside him as you made your way to your bedroom through the long hallway.

It was slightly odd for both; Ben felt as if it had been only yesterday the last time he was here with you, but it also felt like he somehow had let you down when he noticed your pouty smile and the way you stood across from him, your shoulders back your hair a few inches longer than he ever remembered seeing it, you were, of course, the same person…

But the blonde had to admit, he was taken aback when he saw you on the first trailer for that Spider-Man film. You looked entirely different, and only by seeing your performance in that three minute clip he could tell you had been working on your craft, delivering lines with so much emotion it was almost funny that you were playing a comic book character - which was, in fact, the reason why Taika wanted you in on the project. Your follow up projects had been amazing, both with critics and audiences. You became a go-to blockbuster name, picking the best scripts and giving your all for every single take in your projects. Directors would not stop talking about how wonderful working with you was, other actors who had the pleasure of sharing screen time with you praised your professionalism and dedication to the thespian’s job. Ben spent the past couple of years feeling envy of everyone who got to not just work with you but spend time with the wonderful, funny, smart girl that you were.

“Oh, loverboy is on a mood again because Y/N posted another photo from the set of Avengers last night.” Joe would mock him.

He was not wrong, Ben had been thinking about you in ways he did not think he would ever do. His mind often took him to these images in his mind whenever he saw pictures of you with Tom Holland or Tom Hardy. The other Hardy was a tough one to get through to him, you two looked like the best of friends and sharing a love for Staffies you seemed to be unable to keep posting pictures of Tom playing with your dog on your ig stories.

But the definite last straw for Ben had been that flirty kiss you put on James' cheek at the Vanity Fair party after the Oscars. To you, it had been a friendly little kiss to someone who you admired and loved, yet it looked different under the bright flash and zoom of a professional pap camera.

“Thanks, Ben! You’re the best...” You called back at him as you walked into your bathroom to get changed for bed.

Ben stood in the middle of the room for a moment before taking out his phone and looking at the time, it was already almost four in the morning. He realised now that he did not think it through before sending you that text. He wanted to be with you, tell you this; but how? You were just so tired and as you said in the car: busy too! He would only be a nuisance.  

He rested his hand on the edge of your dresser and let his eyes scan the few things on top, one of them a frame. The picture, he noticed was one of himself and you in the theatre after performing together for the last time. He had held you up in his arms and your mother had taken the picture, proud of her daughter.

A sigh escaped his lips. He knew you were not that young, it was also the way you listened to him, even though you had little time to speak to him you would always ask him how he was doing and always cared when he was not convincing enough to ask him again and get him to talk.

“Ugh, much better!” You opened the bathroom door, taking Ben out of his thoughts.

He looked up, his eyes scanning over your frame as you wore your old pjs, the ones he knew from almost three years ago.

“Winnie the Pooh does suit you.” He complimented you.

“Ha-ha.” You dropped your clothes on the laundry basket making sure your underwear was out of sight as you had changed it too for a fresh pair of knickers. “Are you gonna stay?”

Ben blinked in confusion, although by the look of things you did not mean anything but sleeping.

“I… should get going…” Ben scratched the back of his neck as you pulled the covers away from your bed.

“You can...I mean if you want to!” You rushed to say, “Liz is bringing breakfast in the morning and I bet it will be good.” You made your way up to him. “Besides, I would prefer you to stay.”

You wrapped your arms around Ben’s middle and snuggled up to his chest while he registered the moment and put his arms around you too, hugging you.

“Just stay. Please?” You mumbled, already half asleep wrapped in Ben’s warmth.

He gave up the second you put your hands on him, but he thought this should also be the moment he manned up and admitted his mistake from a while ago.

“Okay...but, Y/N?” he waited for you to look up.

When you tilted your head back and your e/c eyes met his green ones, he put his hand on your cheek and caressed it as he spoke again. Licking his lips he threw himself headfirst into the cliff, hoping not to land on rejection.

“I’d love to stay,” he paused, his small lips pursed for a second, “but I’d love to take you out on a date even more….”

Your jaw dropped as even in your sleep deprived state you remembered the way he so nonchalantly rejected you before...although it was undeniable the throbbing in your heart as you felt excitement over this possibility. Ben liked you.

“That’s such a suave thing to say!” You chuckled, “but yeah, I’d let you take me out and sweep me off my feet. Right now, actually...you could sweep me off my feet and put me there?” You pointed at the bed with your index finger and closed your eyes with a large sleepy smile on your face.

“Oh my god, you’re lucky I’m not a creep - like that Holland boy...”

Ben pulled you up in his arms and carried you bridal style to the bed, laying down and tucking you in.

“Are you jealous, Ben?” You giggled from the bed, watching him climb past you and into the bed next to you.

He put his arm under the pillow and turned to you as you rolled on your side to be facing him.

“Hm, goodnight Ben.”

“Goodnight Y/N.”

You cupped his face and kissed his cheek, almost certain that you were being pulled closer by your future boyfriend’s arm as you fell asleep at home - finally!

[pixie-punx]

VERY LONG POST BUT IT'S ABOUT ME PLZ PLZ READ

hi friends, ive never really talked about this until now but i feel like i really need to post this somewhere because it's really important to look for toxic friendships and know what to do

so here's my story. i had this friend that i made in elementary school. for now, ill call them chuck. chuck was literally my best friend and we did everything together in like 5th and 6th grade. chuck ended up moving away in sixth grade and we were both really sad but we ended up moving on and not keeping contact cause it was pretty hard to keep up back then.

when facebook started being more popular and i was in 9th grade, chuck and i reconnected through facebook and whatnot. we were both older and hung out infrequently since they still lived pretty far away and what not. we eventually started talking as more than friends, and in the summer we had started dating, or so i had thought.

we would send cute texts to each other every day and talk about cuddling and all that cute, bologna hs stuff. except everytime i wouldn't text them for a little bit cause i was busy doing something, they'd get upset at me and tell mr that i didn't really care about them. this was obviously wrong and me being the person that i was, i tried to fix the situation and reassure them that it wasn't true at all. this went on for a really long time.

one day, they texted me telling me that we weren't actually dating and that we never were. i was very confused and hurt because i thought i had been in this relationship for several months. we texted every day, i told them how much i cared about them, all that stuff, i cashed in all of my "dumb kid" points on this situation obviously. they said we could still be cute and talk about all this stuff, but that they weren't ready for a relationship, which i said was okay because i respected their space and their decision. i mean come on, it was chuck after all.

in that same conversation they were telling me that they were moving back to my town and that they were gonna be coming to the same school as me. i was thrilled, maybe chuck and i could actually hang out sometime and finally cuddle like we talked about and stuff.

we very smartly set our parameters for what we wanted while we were at school. we decided no on all the pda stuff cause we were just friends, which was their decision and i was again all cool with it because why wouldn't i be?

i see them one day holding hands with someone else. this obviously hurt me because chuck made me feel like i was special and they told me that they didnt want to do pda woth someone they weren't dating, but also that they weren't ready for a conversation. i was very very confused, and i texted them about it

they of course got mad at me and told me that it was perfectly okay that two friends were holding hands and that i was being overdramatic, even telling me that they were starting to doubt how much i wanted to be friends with them. i of course went back into defense mode because they made me feel like a terrible person for addressing it.

there were many points here that i should've decided to keep space, and i even tried to several times, but every time i tried i was greeted with 'you dont care about me, i guess im nothing to you" ya know, the stuff that makes you feel like the worst person on the planet.

one day after chuck and i had another one of those conversations that was like "if i was ready for a relationship I'd date you but i just can't rn but i still like you a lot," chuck started dating someone else that i knew. i was fucking devasted. my trust was broken, i was lied to, i was lead on and i felt like a chump. they weren't texting me for a while because of their new relationship, which was good because i finally found the distance that i needed. I didn't think anything of this situation besides reminding myself that i am worthy of love, something that i honestly still have problems with today. i have to thank the love of my life @joel_august for being just the absolute best and making me feel like an important person and making me feel worthy of love again 💜💜

the reason I'm making this post now and not two years ago when it all ended was because i didnt even realize that this was a toxic friendship until a few weeks ago when i got a text from chuck wanting to catch up. chuck played an important part of my life but they also made me feel like a terrible person and was the person that made it so that I'm very bad at texting, very down on myself a lot and very careful with my friends. im glad that my life has improved a lot since then and that ive been feeling a lot better of myself again (once again thanks joel i love you very much 💜💜💜) and i just wanted to share my story with y'all. thank you lovelies!