#i normally check the tag before i post anything but i forgot to this time

[httpscomexe]

Forbidden Secret Desire

Summary: You just can’t seem to find yourself in this stupid school for freaks, but just when you’re sure no one cares anymore, a man with adamantium claws disturbs your groaning with a promise. Except he forgot to mention everything good comes with a price.

(Find What I’m currently writing by checking my pinned post)

Parings: Logan Howlett x Reader

Warnings: (Individual warnings per chapter) Anxiety, hints to violence, loneliness, I guess angst, manipulation (The reader is helpless and will look for anything to make her happy), some hints towards suggestive material near the end, bad language word use, pet names.

Word Count: 3523 (Find all chapters here) Chapter 2

P.S. If you’d like to be tagged, ask in the comments, you also have permission to send an ask, but make sure it is NOT anonymous, so I know your username, don’t worry, I’m scared of confrontation too. But this is a SAFE SPACE where I will not judge. Thank you again.

Xavier's Mansion.

Also known as the school for “Gifted Youngsters,” or simply for what society prefers to call, “Freaks.”

You’d been there for a few months. You have a very unique power, something even Xavier himself doesn’t understand how to control.

You get these looks all the time when you're walking in the halls of the mansion. You notice it when people cover their mouths to whisper about you and you can’t not notice it when you seem to create a bubble around you as some of the kids try to keep a distance.

Yea, it hurts. You couldn’t deny that either. Sometimes you’d even have to find a restroom really fast to cry to yourself in one of the stalls, but even that hurts when some of the students quickly flood out of the restroom after you enter.

Nobody knew how much it hurt you, nobody even knew what powers you really had. If they did, you would’ve already been sent to the ice box, but luckily, you didn’t know how to use your more dangerous powers. You figured Xavier probably knew about them, considering he can read your mind and he knows just exactly how powerful you really were, but he didn’t know if you knew about them. And what you don’t know, can’t hurt you.

The hardest part was going to class. While everyone else had a table of four people, you sat alone. You did every project alone, with high soaring grades by the way, and you never got to speak to anyone during discussion or free time before the bell rang.

Sometimes you wish you were just… normal.

Of course, you weren’t the only person that was avoided. There were a few other students and even some of the adults that were always avoided. The only true friend you seemed to have was Hank McCoy. Everyone used to fear him, thinking that he couldn’t control the “Beast,” so he knows how you feel. But sometimes it only felt like he tolerated you because you were smart, and you were the only student that could aid him in building anything related to tech, and nanotech, and coding, and all that good stuff.

“Have you figured out why it isn’t working?” Was the first thing he asked you as you walked into his lab. Not a good morning, no how’s class, and not even hello. “I was thinking it had something to do with our maths, that maybe we calculated something wrong but I’ve looked over it again and again and couldn’t find a single thing wrong with it.” He tells you, picking up his notebook which you could see was now full of mathematical equations and random scribbles which seemed to radiate with frustration.

“I don’t think we got the maths wrong, I’ve checked it about a thousand times.” You say quietly, then gently put your bag full of books down under one of his desks so it wasn’t in the way. “Pretty sure it just needs to be smaller. Nothing really about maths though. Other than that, the fibres need to be smaller.”

“So it is the maths?”

“Eh, kind of.” You groan a little and stretch before grabbing a small, delicate pair of tweezers. “This is still too big.” You tell him, placing a sample of part of your tech down under a microscope, strong enough you’re surprised it couldn’t see atoms. “See, this is about as thick as a piece of hair, which is about the size of…” You sigh, looking back at your maths. “It’s about 50,000 nanoparticles, so not a lot, but we need it to be a little smaller.” You tell him, then look away from the small bit of tech to look up at him, his eyes squinted in your direction as is he was trying to understand what you were saying. “Okay I’ll dumb it down. It’s about as thick as a piece of hair right now, we need to numb it down to about… only one hundred nanoparticles, so it should be about as thick as graphene.”

“What’re you two nerds going on about now?” Another voice cuts into your explanation. It was none other than the gruffy voice of Wolverine.

“Oh hey, Logan.” Hank abandons the workstation to go over Logan who was making himself some coffee. “Just figuring out something about nano…”

“Nanoparticles.” You finish his sentence.

“Yea, that.” He says plainly, not bothering to look at you as you turn away from their conversation and look through the microscope.

“Now how do I make you that small…” You whisper to yourself, gently lifting the particle string with your delicate tweezers and examining it through the microscope. “Hmm…” You hum to yourself.

“Y/N!” Hank calls for you, and you turn around. “I’m going out to pick up some lunch for the both of us. What would you like? I’m getting Mexican.” You tell him what you would like, and he takes a moment to clean his work area and stuff his wallet in his pocket before he finally leaves. Leaving you to stand by your desk, doing all the work that has to do with nanotech, but also leaving the Wolverine with you.

“So what exactly are you two working on?” You hear his voice behind you, then you see him next to you.

“Teleportation. Not as complicated as you think, it’s just the fear that gets to everyone really.” You look away from your work, and your eyes land on him. His arms crossed as he leaned on a nearby table, showing enough respect to not sit on your working table.

“Seems complicated. What could possibly be scary about it though? It's just teleportation.”

“Well. If you think deeper into it. Your body and every single atom and particle of your body has to be completely broken down into an uncountable amount of smaller pieces and then your body has to rebuild itself in the secondary location, you just have to hope that it rebuilds you correctly. Or the next thing you know half your right arm is also half of your left leg with toes for fingers.” You say without taking a breath, taking a deep breath after letting it all out. Staring back up at him, his eyes were now squinted in confusion.

“I don’t think anyone is scared of that except you. I’ve never even thought about that.” He shrugs, taking a sip of his scalding hot black coffee.

“Yea well… I’ve had a lot of time to think about a lot of things.” You tell him through gritted teeth, mumbling before grabbing your notebook.

“You know…” He pauses, placing his hot coffee mug on another table away from your work before walking back up next to you, placing his palms on your table where there wasn’t electronic junk lying around. “You aren’t the only one.”

“The only one?” You question, turning and grabbing another tool before looking under your microscope, turning the string around to try and figure out how to break it into a smaller piece, without actually breaking it.

“The only one that’s feared.”

You stop what you’re doing, still looking into the microscope but not actually paying attention to what was right in front of your eyes.

“I’ve seen the way some of the other kids look at you, bub. Like there’s something wrong with you. I know how it feels to not fit in.” He crosses his arms as he leans against your table, attempting to get your full attention. He clears his throat before speaking again. “I’ve seen you in the halls. Your name is Y/N, right?” You nod, his eyes and yours locked onto each other. “Logan.” He says, reaching his hand out to shake yours. Your hand basically gets engulfed by his as your soft hand meets his, which were rough and still yet soft, that surprised you, considering… “Hank talks about you a lot also. Not like he loves you or anything, he just tells me you’re smart. Like really smart.” He shrugs.

“Hm…” You hum a little. This is the first conversation you’ve had with someone in this school where they’ve actually treated you like a real human.

“Considering the way you explain this stuff, I’d say he’s probably right about you being smart.” He nodded towards the nanoparticles still sitting under your microscope, it was hard to see from even a foot away considering it was the width of a single piece of hair. “So what exactly is a nanoparticle? Or nano…”

“Nanoparticle" is correct. It just like a piece of tech or anything made of tech like certain fibers that can be visible to the naked eye but they’re very small. Just this one piece is the width of 50,000 nanoparticles.” You carefully pick up the string, and gently put it in it’s container.

“And what was that other thing you mentioned earlier?”

“Graphene?”

“Yea.”

“It’s made of about 50 to 100 nanoparticles, and it can be seen with the naked eye through a refraction of light in a mirror or clear substance that has a bend in it.”

“I’m not completely sure what any of that means. But I trust you know what you’re doing.”

“Yea, I’m kind of a nerd.” You chuckle awkwardly, then reach down to pull your bag over your shoulder, your social battery is pretty much near zero for the day, or maybe week. This was you first time ever speaking to Wolverine and you just nerd out on him? What were you thinking?

“Alright, I got food. Where are you heading?” Hank finally comes back, a bag full of boxes with the three of your foods in them in his right hand as he enters the lab, letting the metal door close behind him.

“I’ve got a bit of a headache, I was gonna go back to my room.”

“Well you know the rules. No food in the rooms.”

“Yea, yea. I know.” You sigh, setting your bag back down as he hands you your box of food and you hop onto one of the clean counters to sit down as you eat your food.

“Have you seen Xavier today?” He asks Logan, handing him his food also.

“No, he’s out on some special mission with Mystique right now, won’t be back for about another week.”

“And what does he have you doing? You never leave your room so I’m assuming he's’ got you doing something?” Hank stands next to Logan as they both talk back and forth.

“He has me teaching his third class and fifth class. I guess that one is the anger management class and the other is meditation.”

“Ah, so he’s got you teaching the two classes you used to fail in.”

“Ironic, isn’t it?”

After working in the lab, a lot shorter than usual, you actually head back to your room. You hate to admit it, but you’ve been ecstatic to meet Wolverine for years, and when you finally get to have a conversation with him, you just geek out on him about nanotech?

As you hang your bag on the wall and remove your jacket only to throw it on the back of your desk chair, you can’t help but want to just smash your head on a wall until you’ve forgotten about everything that’s happened today.

You mope as you walk into the centre of your small room, stopping and staring at the mess on your desk, a bunch of full notebooks covered in little pen markings of maths and science that no one else in the school would understand.

You walk to the desk, take one of the notebooks in your hand that had some free space left, and drop down on your bed. Reaching behind your head, you pull your sweater over your head and discard it on the floor before leaning against your headboard and clicking the back of your pencil until the led is at your desired length.

As soon as the tip of the led touches the paper, your mind wanders. That was so embarrassing… You realise, scribbling random maths into your notebook. I can’t believe I just made a professor hate me too… Not only had you dissociated, but you also completely nerded out. You talked about nanoparticles as if it was the only thing you cared about. You care about more though. You care about the family that was so scared of you they sent you off to this stupid school, calling you a freak and breaking all ties with you. No, you don’t care about them. But you care about your friends so much! You don’t have any friends. Hank is very special to you, he holds a space in your heart. A very, very small space. Yea he doesn’t care about you, you’ve just been able to make about a thousand breaks in his experiments. Then of course he would take all of the credit when he would show it to Professor X.

Why do you even try? I guess working with Hank is the equivalent of the other students going out to the mall with their friends. The only difference is he wasn’t your friend.

You take it back, you had one friend. If you could even call someone you only text cause you’re too scared for actual confrontation, a friend. Nightcrawler- or Kurt. The one guy who’s ever made an actual effort to try and be your friend, he’s just always out on missions. Or so that’s what his actual friends tell you. Maybe you should send him a text and actually verify whether he hates you or not… You get up from your bed and unzip your bag, sticking your hand into the pocket where you always shove your phone, but it’s not there. What the fuck? You take your bag off it’s hook and search the rest of the pockets, and still no phone. You go to your bed, searching under the covers and getting on your knees to check under the bed, still no phone. You check your desk, your discarded sweater, and you sweep the floor with your eyes looking for it, thinking it might’ve just fallen out of your pocket. You hate seeming desperate for a simple device that rots your brain to default, but God that phone is your escape.

“Hey, is everything alright-?” A voice cuts into your messy search as you turn around and your door is cracked just enough for him to stick his head in.

“Sorry, Mr. Howlett, I just can’t find my phone.” You chuckle awkwardly, standing in the centre of your room as he peeks around your room at the mess you’ve created.

“Again, you can call me Logan. I don’t mind it, I prefer it actually. Do you mind if I step in?”

“Yea, it’s fine. Sorry for the mess, I haven’t really had time to clean it.” You nervously link your fingers together in front of you and let your thumb pick at your skin as he comes in, closing the door gently behind him.

“It’s not a mess, just a sweater on the floor and notebooks on the bed.” Sweater on the floor. Of course. Yea, you were standing in the centre of your room, in your shorts and a black fucking clasp on bra. Now you suddenly feel naked standing in front of him, so you cross your arms, hoping to hide at least some of the embarrassment.

“Well uh, what’s up?” You try sounding cool but immediately cringe.

“You left this in the lab.” He tells you, then reaches into his pocket and pulls out your phone, handing it to you backside up, so you could see the glittery phone case, adorned with pink sparkles. “Was gonna give it to you in class but you kids go crazy over your phones.”

“Oh I wouldn’t go crazy…” You tell him, humour in your voice as you awkwardly look around your room, the sheets halfway off the bed and your pillows tossed in the middle, the result in the crazy search for your phone. “Would just be a little annoyed…”

“So is everything okay?”

“Yea, why do you ask?”

“I was knocking on your door and sayin’ your name. but you didn’t answer.”

“Oh,” You laugh dryly. “Sorry, sometimes I get lost in my head and kinda just block out all sounds and sometimes I’ll block out what’s in front of me."

“Oh I see.” What do I say to respond to that? “What were you working on?” Why is he still here?

“Honestly, I don’t know, I was just scribbling.”

“Had enough maths for the day?” He jokes.

“Had enough maths for the month.” You mumble, but then he laughs. A short laugh. But a laugh nonetheless. Isn’t he annoyed by you? Why is he still- “What would you be doin’ if Hank didn’t have you doing all this brain stuff?” Oh.

“Well uh, nothing probably.”

“Not one for hanging out with your friends?”

“Friends? Hah!” You laugh with sarcasm, then walk over to your discarded sweater, bending over to pick it up, deciding to distract yourself with cleaning. “It's not easy for a freak to make friends.” You mumble to yourself, hoping he wouldn’t hear, of course, he did.

“You’re not a freak.” He crosses his arms as you look over your shoulder at him.

“Yea sure. Everyone in the school would so easily disagree with you on that.” You say back, folding the sweater before tossing it into your dirty laundry basket. “Professor X won’t even let me leave the school because he doesn’t trust me. I’m sure you’re no different.” Shit that was supposed to be said in your head. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You’d smack yourself right now if it wouldn’t make you look stupid, if he wasn’t in your room still.

“So you think everyone’s the same?” He asks, more of a statement.

“No I- I don’t mean it like that. I just-” He clears his throat.

“Come here.” He demands, looking into your fucking soul. So of course, with a gaze as threatening as his. You stand right in front of him after you walk up to him like Bambi in a traffic headlight. Wobbly, and frozen. “Good, now look at me.” Oh, you forgot that part.

You looked away from his shirt, and tilted your head back to look up into his eyes and for a man who’s so adept at killing his eyes were so soft, and broken…

“If you didn’t randomly blank out, you would’ve also heard Xavier when he told you the only time you could leave, is if it’s with someone else in case there’s an emergency.”

“Emergency from what? Me losing my temper?”

“Exactly that.” Is what shuts you up. “When I said I know how you’re feeling, I meant it.” His voice softens, and you feel your throat knot as you hold back embarrassing tears. “It wasn’t easy for me to make friends either, but honestly I prefer to be in a small crowd. Normally I’m not the one to comfort a student, but you just don’t seem to want to talk to anyone. Why’s that?”

“I’ve tried talking to people. They just give me a look and then walk away.”

“Does that actually happen? Or is that just what it feels like?”

Shit. You hate to admit it, but he makes a point.

What the fuck. Was your next thought as his hand moved up and he gently placed his hand on your cheek.

“I know you hate everyone at this school from the fucking bottom of your heart, but I’m gonna have you try to refrain from hating me. We can strike a deal by letting me take you out of the mansion. I’m sure you’d love to get out, can’t remember the last time you left.”

“Never have.” You whisper, shrugging your shoulders. Your voice is only quiet so your tears aren’t cascading down your face.

“Well if you can just promise to behave, and tell me when you’re getting stressed, then I’ll supervise you like Xavier wants.” He tells you, promising some sort of freedom. “I’m not saying I’m scared of you. If anyone is scared of what you can do, it’s you. Am I right?” You nod. “Use your words, bub.”

“Yea…” Your voice cracks as you barely mutter an entire word.

“Hey, hey…” He says softly, then he suddenly pulls you into a hug. “I’ve got you.” He gently rubs your back, which by the way is still bare since you never got to throw on another shirt. “Just cancel your plans with Hank, I can help you more than he ever will…”

He promises. His fingers gently run over the metal clasps on the back of your bra as you loosely wrap your arms around him, embracing his hug and you nod, not able to formulate any more words as you cry quietly against his chest, your tears wetting his shirt as you both stand there in silence. A quiet smirk on his face as he holds onto you…

[fl3shm4id3n]

𝓑𝓵𝓾𝓮 𝓢𝓴𝓲𝓮𝓼

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐌𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝'𝐬 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬. 𝐌𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞, 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬, 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨. 𝐇𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐧.

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ɴᴇᴛᴇʏᴀᴍ x ʜᴜᴍᴀɴ! ꜰᴇᴍ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ꜱᴏɴɢ: ʟᴀɴᴀ ᴅᴇʟ ʀᴇʏ- ᴄɪɴɴᴀᴍᴏɴ ɢɪʀʟ

Tw: Teenage love, mentions of passed bullying, weapon mentioned (spear), mamas just want what’s best for their kids, Tonowari being a loving father, Titanic reference, confession, kissing. 

Author’s note: I thought of spicing things up a bit, they will be more conflict later but not too hard because I am rooting for Neteyam and Y/n. Also comment some ideas for the next part, idk how long this series will turn out, but I'd like to see what you guys want to see next. I hope I’m not moving too fast, I just really love where this is going. I also forgot to add the masterlist on the other fics, I’ll be sure to add the link.

P.s. I apologies for late tagging people on my taglist, its my first time doing a taglist and I go back to my other posts and check the comments to see if anyone else would want to be tag. Also for some reason some of the people I tag won’t pop up, sorry :(

Masterlist

Neytiri knew something, she knew that her eldest son had began to catch feelings for someone. The thing is she had no idea who her son was falling head over heels for. She wanted to know who it was and find out fast because the curiosity would consume her, if he ended up lying to her, she would not be happy than she already isn’t. Neytiri was still mad that she had to leave her home, it still irked her that her family will now have to live differently then what they were used to in the forest. 

She wanted to keep a close eye on him but she would be invading his privacy, her mate was already hard on their kids, she didn’t want to be that kind of mother, but if it was for the sake of her children, so be it. Neytiri will give Neteyam some space, allowing him to tell her when he is ready.

Even after that talk with her mate, Ronal was still worried, she feared that her child may be taken away from her from an unworthy mate. She wanted her child to be happy but with the right person. It was hard enough that y/n could not mate before eywa light rest of the people due to her being different. Ronal did not like to call her child a human, humans were demons that destroy beautiful things for their own benefit.

Y/n was strong, yes she may not be a na’vi but she is a strong girl who deserves to be a Tsahik in the future, but she knew that the responsibility will lay on Tsireya due to being the oldest. She hopes in finding out who this person was sooner rather than later, before it is to late. Every time Ronal looks at Y/n, she sees her as a baby she once held for the first time, her small body covered in red, her baby. Ronal would do anything in her power to keep her baby happy.

You had finished getting ready for the day, instead of going for swim, you decided to go practice with your spear. You wore a top that was made of rope, seaweed and some pearls that hanged. For the bottom you wore a small skirt around your hips made out of light and dark net, you tide a cloth under you to cover your intimate parts. You tied your hair up to keep it out of the way, when you were using your weapon. 

When done you left to the beach, the day had been going smoothly. Some kinds were running around playing in the water, the fishermen had come back from the ocean with fish, everything was normal. You stopped in a small spot that was bit farther away from the beach, it was like a training ground of yours and your father’s. You both would come here to practice on how you could use a spear. On your thirteenth birthday he gifted you the spear he made for you. You loved it very much, you didn’t allow anyone to touch, the people who could touch it was Tsireya, your mother and father. You didn’t trust your brother with your spear, he’d probably break it or something. 

You were throwing your spear as hard as you could, you wanted to go farther than you already were. Your father has taught you how to use a spear from a young age, due to it you had got some muscle, you wish you were more muscular like him. Also not to mention what you can do with a blade, when your mother found out that your father gave you a blade at a small age, she nearly popped a blood vessel. Ronal was very protective of you, she feared that anything could harm you due to not being a na’vi. Tonowari had a talk with her about you learning how to fight and such, he knew that one day they will not always be their to protect you, he wanted you to be a warrior and to fend for yourself when they were no longer around.

After what felt like a while, you managed to throw the spear farther away hitting a palm tree near by. You began jumping of joy, you finally manage to do it. “Good shot” you stopped to turn, seeing the oldest forest boy. You felt your face feel a bit warm. “Oh, thank you, I didn’t know you were here” you said as you walked over to the palm tree to get your spear. Neteyam walked closer, just incase you need help with pulling out your spear.

You got a good grip on your spear and pulled hard enough, taking the spear out the palm tree. Neteyam watched as his mouth dropped, you were strong, of course you were, you’re the daughter of the Olo'eyktan. You smiled at him seeing his face. “What?” you giggled which made him change his face real quick. “Oh! Nothing, you’re just... really strong” he said shyly looking away as he rubbed the back of his neck. You smiled at him “well, you can thank my father for that” you said walking back to your spot having him follow. “Would you like to try?” you asked making him nod, no questions asked.

You had been showing Neteyam how hold the spear properly, you didn’t mind having to position his arms the right way, you loved being close to him. Neteyam was trying to do what he was told but he was distracted by you, how close you were. When you’d instruct him how to properly hold it and positioned him, he felt butterflies in his stomach, he also couldn’t help but look at you, you were just so beautiful. “You ready?” You asked as he then snapped out of his trance and nodded. “Okay, now throw it as fast as you can” he did as he was told. The spear landed on the sand, a couple feet away from the palm tree. 

“Nice shot, soon you’ll be able to master a spear, you’ll be a...pro?” you said a bit confused, trying to use the word he used the other day. Neteyam chuckled seeing that were tying to use the word. “I’m not as good as you” he mentioned making you smile at up at him. You got a good look at his features again, you loved seeing him, you wouldn’t mind staring into his eyes for the rest of your life.

You then walked over to were your spear was breaking the trance you had on him. “Have you gone to your lessons today?” you asked retrieving your spear. Neteyam shook his head “no, not yet, shall we go?” he asked as you nodded, walking over back to him and leaving together to where the rest of the teens were.

As you both walked towards the small group, you heard a deep voice call out to you. “Y/n” you turned to see who it was, it was your father. “Coming!” You shouted back, turning to look at Neteyam “you go, I’ll catch up.” You said towards the tall na’vi in which he nodded and left towards the group, you walked over to your father, spear in hand “yes father?” you said looking up at the gentle giant. “Come, lets go for a ride, we haven’t gone in a while” you nodded, following him.

You both approached to his skimswim, Tonowari got on first then he helped you hop on, you sat in front of him holding tightly onto your spear and held onto the handle of the saddle. Then you both took off, the ride was silent but you like having a moment like this with your father. He’s a scary looking giant but he was gentle at the same time, you’d referred to him as a gentle giant a couple times since you were smaller. The skimswim dived underwater, taking you both down with it. It made you smile, since that the creature felt playful today. Your father looked down at you smile, making his chest warm up seeing his child happy. 

It reminded him when you were a child, the first time you were scared of the creature but you warmed up to it. Since then your father would take you on rides with his creature. When you went back up to the surface for a breath, you laughed “that was fun” you said petting the skimswim, making the creature wag its tale for being praised. Tonowari then asked “so, tell me, what are your thoughts on the Sullys?” he asked as you looked up at him. “They seem very nice, well, Neytiri is a bit scary like mother... don’t tell here I said that!” you playful warned your father making laughing at you. “I won’t” he said. “But, Neteyam, he is really nice to me, well all the sully kids are nice to me including Jake, but he is the sweetest.” 

You said feeling your face heat up, your father noticed this, he knew that look very well. He had that same look when he began to catch feelings for his now Mate Ronal. He hummed then talked “y/n? If that boy makes you happy, don’t let him go” he said catching you off guard. “Hm? what do you mean?” you asked a bit confused. “I know that look, you have the same look when someone is interested in another, I was young once too.”  Now you understood, he was referring to your feelings towards Neteyam. 

“You approve of him?” You asked curiously, he smiled down at you “just a bit, he still has to prove himself though, so far he is doing a great job” he said, this made you happy, seeing that your father seems to be approving of Neteyam. “Thank you father” you said smiling at him, he pulled you into a hug, in which you hugged him back gladly.

Neteyam was wondering where you were, the lesson was over, he was worried that you had got into trouble. Then he saw you with your father on his Skimswim approaching, he saw that you father told you something before you got off and swam towards the group, then he saw your father take off. “We were wondering where you were” your brother said as you finally reached them. “I was with father that’s all” you said. 

“Well, the lesson of today is over, so everyone is just going to do whatever” Lo’kak chimed in, giving his brother a look, making Neteyam glare at him. “That’s alright, you guys have a great teacher” you said refuring to your sister. “What about me Y/n?” Ao’nung asked giving you a look, in which you pretended to think for a moment “you’re alright” you said making the group laugh, in which your brother let out a dramatic gasp. “My own sister thinks I am alright? How outrages” he said chuckling.

Everyone swam back to shore, going their separate ways. Only leaving you and Neteyam, it was silent until you spoke “so, do you want to do anything?” You asked looking up at him. You noticed how he had a little smile on his lips “I mean, I did promise you a ride on my banshee” you got excited now “shall we do that?!” You asked, and he responded “if that’s what you want, then yes, lets do it” he said as he took your hand, now taking you were his banshee was.

When you got to where is beast was, you were nervous, you had never seen such a beast. “Don’t look at him in the eyes” Neteyam warmed you, in which you looked away from the beasts face, not looking at its wings. They reminded you of a skimswim but instead of being in the water, they were from the sky. Neteyam got close to his beast, petting him and calming him down. “Want to pet him?” he asked as you nodded, walking closer towards him, he took your small hand and placed it on the beasts head. You softly pet him, feeling him purr under your touch. “Wow” you said fascinated by the beast. “Cool right?” Neteyam asked as you nodded while still petting the beast.

Neteyam got on his banshee and latched into him using his queue, then he turned to you and helped you up onto the banshee. He placed you in front of him and guided your hands to hold into the settle. “Ready?” he asked as you turned to look up at him “I was born ready” you said, Neteyam then gave the cue to his banshee, then the beast took off onto the sky.

You held tightly onto the handle and closed your eyes, afraid that you may end up falling. Neteyam took a note of this, then he wrapped his free arm around your waist and help you tightly close to him. You felt your face heat up at the feeling of his arm. After a couple minutes, you opened your eyes and looked around. Seeing how high you are in the sky, you felt fascinated seeing how close you were towards the clouds and near the blue sky. 

When you looked down, you saw how small the village looked smaller, the air felt good going through your hair, it felt as good as when you go swimming. You slowly let go of the handle then stock your arms out on both sides, wanting to feel more of the wind. Neteyam was confused at first but he saw how relaxed you were, he still held onto your waist keeping you safe while his other one held onto the banshee. 

You didn’t even notice the time, it was going to be dark soon, the sun was setting. You had landed on a small mountain near the village, seeing the sun set. It was beautiful, even better with the person you were with. “I had fun today” you said looking at Neteyam who had a smile on his face. “I am glad” he said looking down at your small face, he just loved looking at you, he could just stare at you all day, forever if he could. He had a feeling that he needed to say, if he didn’t say it he’ll probably regret it later. 

“Y/n, I have been meaning to tell you something” Neteyam said shyly, now your face turned into one of curiosity. “What is Neteyam?” you asked as you felt his lard hands taking yours into his. “For the last few days, I’ve been having feelings, feelings I’ve never felt before, ever.” He took a deep breath, he felt like a fish out of water now, getting nervous. “Whenever I look at you, I feel like, I am at home” he said, his words made your face feel hot. “I see you y/n” he finally said it, he felt the weight on his shoulders fade, but he felt like his stomach drop, fearing rejection by the one who he wishes is his mate. 

Your face felt even more heated, he saw you, Neteyam Sully saw you like you saw him. Still a bit in shock at his confession, you broke into a smile. Squeezing his hand lightly and spoke back to him. “And I see you Neteyam, the moment I first set my eyes on you, I see you” you said seeing his face turn into one of relief. “May I...kiss you?” He asked shyly looking down at your small hands. You smiled at his shyness, softly lifting his head “Of course, Ma Neteyam” You said softly locking eyes with his.

Neteyam leaned down, placing both his large hands on your small face. You came closer towards him, closing your eyes, feelings his warm lips touching your cold ones. This felt nice, this felt right, you placed your smaller hands on his large ones that held your face. You stayed like that for a bit before slowly pulling away from him and looked into his sun colored eyes. Then he whispered only for you to hear. 

“Ma Y/n”

Taglist: @byunpum, @moony-artemis, @aonungs-tsahik, @rennyramen, @somewereinthegalaxi, @em-asian, @fanboyluvr, @mashiromochi, @eternallyvenus, @teenagemuffinlampcalzone, @ssophiebirkas​, @fanficblogs,  

[fuckinthewholetown]

Fallingforyou - Matty Healy Chapter One

I’m kind of shitting myself posting this but, it is what it is. If you think it’s shit, feel free to tell me, but please be nice or I will cry. I’ve also only skimmed over this so if there’s any typos, please tell me so I can fix this.

Tags: Slight angst, swearing, mentions of religion, gay, probably bad writing

Word Count: 2309

As much as you love touring, you’re the first person to admit it can get repetitive. Wake up in a random hotel room, get to the venue, sound check, perform, and repeat.

However, today is different. Today you’re performing a sold out show at Wembley Stadium to 90,000 people. This is the day you’ve dreamt about since you were five, giving one woman performances to your parents in your living room. And the cherry on top is you get to do it with four of your best mates.

Your day starts off as normal, doing your skincare routine in a hotel bathroom in the heart of London. You’re living the dream. That is until you hear a knock at your door. As you’re walking over to answer it, you pull your hair out of the makeshift pony tail it was in previously. Before you could fully open the door, it barges open and your guitarist and best friend Maddie O’Connell storms into the room.

“We need to talk.” She says, pacing back and forth.

“Ok, calm down. There’s absolutely no reason to be this stressed. Take a crystal.” You say, pulling some green agate out of your bra. You’re met with no response, just a deadpan stare. “Noted, not in a crystals mood. What’s up, this is the best day of our careers, it must be something big to get you this stressed.”

“You have to look me in the eye and promise that you’re not going to freak out” She says, sitting down on a seat in the corner of the room.

“I promise. Unless you’re shagging Matty Healy or Harry Styles, then I revoke that promise”

“Not exactly… It’s Ross” She says, refusing to look you in the eye. You stay silent, internally freaking out but refusing to break the promise you made to her. She takes this as you not understanding what she’s on about “Ross Macdonald… The bassist of the”

“Yes, I know who you’re on about!” You say, cutting her off before she can say anything else and send you into even more of a mental breakdown. You stand up, now it’s your turn to pace the room. “You’re fucking the bassist of my favourite band and you just conveniently don’t tell me until 5 hours before the biggest show of our careers? I love you to death, but you need to get better timing babes”

“I know,” she says, still refusing to make eye contact with you, “and we’re not fucking. Well, we are but it’s more than that. I like him, and I think he likes me.”

“How long?”

“Six months…”

“Six months!” This information is enough to stop you in your tracks, “you’ve been shagging the human equivalent of Jesus for 6 months and you forgot to mention it!”

“I’m sorry! I knew you’d freak out because you’re a big fan and I wanted to make sure it was serious before I got your hopes up. However, I’ve kinda been forced into telling you.”

You sit back down, confused over her last statement. “What do you mean forced into telling me? If one of the girls is secretly a bitch and forcing you into this, we can become a group of four. I’m a big boy, I can sing and play an instrument at the same time.” That half joke is enough to make her finally make eye contact with you.

“It’s nothing like that, the girls don’t know yet you’re the first person I told. I’ve been forced into telling you because they’re coming tonight, all four of them are watching the show.” And that statement is the straw that broke the camels back, you’re officially freaking out.

“What? They’re watching us tonight? All four of them are watching us? Oh god, I have to look Matty Healy in the eyes knowing I’ve read the dirtiest tumblr fanfiction about him. I read one of him as a priest, oh god I’m going to hell!” You say, putting your head into your hands. Maddie on the other hand does not see the seriousness of this situation and bursts out laughing.

“Him as a priest? Didn’t strike you as the religious type.” A chuckle escapes your lips as you finally return the eye contact.

“I went to an all girls catholic school actually, I love Jesus.”

“You came out of that school with minor alcoholism and even more gay than you were when you went in, I think Jesus would be disappointed.” She quips back. You laugh, standing back up from your slight mental breakdown.

“I’m happy for you, I really am. When are they getting here?”

“Just before sound check.”

“Before sound check?” You respond, falling back into your mental breakdown. “That’s in less than an hour. I’m meeting my celebrity crush and your new fuck buddy in less than an hour? Get the fuck out, I need to do a full face in 20 minutes!”

You all but push her out the hotel room, scrambling to get ready for the biggest moment of your life.

After somehow managing to do your hair, makeup, and put on a hot ass outfit in under an hour, you walked into the green room at Wembley Stadium. What met your eyes was what could best be described as a sight out of 16 year olds you’s wet dream. All four members of The 1975 sat around the table, gossiping about who knows what. As you walk in, the room goes silent. Luckily, your bandmates are there to quell the awkwardness. The pianist of your band, Sienna Turner is the first to speak.

“Boys,” She says, standing up and dragging you by the forearm into the circle, “this is Y/N!” You were expecting to be met with blank stares, but instead the boys jump up to greet you, tackling you into bear hugs. It’s a warm welcome off everyone. Well, mostly everyone. The man you’ve loved since you were a teenager stays sat in the corner of the room, closed off and refusing to even acknowledge your existence. You figure it’s probably just him being an introvert, so you go over to introduce yourself personally.

“Hey.” You say, hoping for any kind of response. You don’t get one. No acknowledgement, no hey back, not even a snarky comment, he just ignores you. This is not how you imagined this day would go.

“Damn,” you follow up, “I knew you’re an Aries, but I didn’t think you’d act so much like one.” You let out a slight chuckle. He, on the other hand, does not find this so funny.

“Good God.” He responds, rolling his eyes and taking another sip of his drink.

He hates you. The man you’ve been enamored by for almost 10 years despises you. The only possible explanation is he’s seen your private TikTok reposts of endless thirst traps of himself. Nevertheless, you had a show to do. And if there’s on thing you can do despite external feelings, it’s fucking shit up on stage. You nail sound check, sounding better than you ever have. Probably a mix of adrenaline and frustration over the fact that your childhood crush seemingly hates you for absolutely no reason.

You exit stage after sound check, immediately going back to the green room to get ready for the actual show. As you’re getting your makeup and hair done, conversation flows. You and your friends are talking to the boys as if you’ve been friends for years and you didn’t just meet them an hour ago.

“So, Y/N. You’re into like crystals and shit aren’t you? What’s that like, I don’t really get it.” George says, turning all eyes on you.

“It’s not for everyone, but I find comfort in manifestation and things like that. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think incense will cure cancer but keeping rose quartz in my bra definitely isn’t going to hinder my love life.” You laugh, trying to keep your response brief.

“Bullshit.” Comes from the corner of the room. The first words you’ve heard from Matty since your brief conversation earlier in the day. The room falls silent and you feel a red hue cover your face. The longer the silence, the thicker the tension in the air. You clear your throat, trying to restrain yourself from going over to him and giving him a black eye.

“Like I said, it isn’t for everyone. I was cleansing my room once and my mum thought I was smoking weed. When I told her what I was doing, I think she’d have preferred if I was doing drugs.” Everyone starts laughing and the room erupts into conversation again as if nothing happened. Every so often, you catch a glimpse of Matty in the corner of your eye. He never seems to move, his phone in one hand and a beer in the other. As you zone out of the conversation, your mind moves to deciphering why on Earth he could hate you so much. Nothing comes to mind, you’ve never met him before and you’ve definitely said nothing bad about him publically. Quite the opposite in fact, as last year a drunk video of you singing Robbers went viral on TikTok.

You zoned out for so long, before you knew it it was time to go on stage and perform the biggest show of your life.

“Ok girlies!” Ava Fletcher, the drummer in your band and also the member you’ve known the longest, speaks up. “This is it. No pressure but there’s 90 thousand people out there who’ve come specifically to watch us, so if we put on a shit performance our careers are probably over. But absolutely no pressure, just have a good show.” You laugh, leaning into the group hug you do before every show however this one felt different. The sense of adrenaline and fear within the group was unlike anything before. There was a lot riding on this show, and if you fucked it up a lot of people would be disappointed. However, all of these feelings are washed away when you’re wrapped into a hug by George.

“Blow their fucking minds out their.” He whispers into your ear. All feelings of nervousness are washed away when you realise you’re being hugged by the drummer of your favourite band. You go around, being given motivational speeches by every member of the band. Well, almost every member other than, you guessed it, Matty. He encouraged every member of your band except you, walking off before you could get to him.

The beginning of every show is always the worst. Hearing the roaring crowds increases your heart rate tenfold, but the stakes are even higher for this show. With one last group hug, you put your in ears in and run on stage, ready to start the show. As the show goes on, you occasionally glance side of stage to where the boys are standing. Everytime you make eye contact with them, they give you an encouraging smile or thumbs up. Matty on the other hand continues to evade eye contact, choosing to watch a different member of the band. However that didn’t stop you from putting on one hell of a show, and that’s what you did. You blew the metaphorical roof of that stadium, it was arguably the best show you ever did. The adrenaline high you had once you ran off stage couldn’t be ruined, even by a moody former celebrity crush.

The moment you exit stage, you’re immediately crushed by a massive group hug involving your band and the boys. Despite all of this, the only thing you can focus on is the hand around your waist. It’s Matty. You don’t think he meant it, instinctively putting it there when he was dragged into the hug. Nonetheless the area he was holding felt like it was burning under his touch, his calloused hands leaving marks on the skin underneath them. The group hug is cut short when he pulls away, clearing his throat slightly and going back to cradling his drink.

You do the rounds, talking to everyone backstage and discussing the nuances of the show and how amazing the audience were. This repetitive conversation continues until you get back around to him. You expect to be met with no eye contact, maybe an eye roll if you were lucky, but what happens next surprises you.

“You did alright out there, Princess.” The confusion on your face is palpable, at both the nickname and his sudden talkative nature. “Princess, like Princess Kida from The Lost City of Atlantis. It’s funny because,” you cut him off.

“Our band name is Lost Atlantis, yeah I get it. It’s funny.” You respond, a dead pan expression on your face. The tension was obvious, you could cut it with a knife. That is until Moon Dixon, your bassist, comes up behind you and wraps you in a hug.

“We’re all going back to Maddie's place to have a few drinks, you joining us?” She says, mostly to you but including Matty in the conversation as well.

“Yeah, let me get into something less sweaty and gross first though.” You laugh, trying to hide your disappointment as he walks off to join the rest of his band.

Get over yourself, you thought to yourself as you walked back up to your dressing room. Just because Mattys a dick doesn’t take away from the fact that this is the best day of your life. You just performed your biggest show ever, and three out of the four members are lovely. But despite this, you can’t get the curly haired man out of your mind. You see him every time you blink. How have you gone from badass pop girlie to pathetic simp in the space of three hours?

Chapter Two

[gldrushh]

SUGAR AND SIN | JK

🧁✧ ˚. TITLE: Sugar and Sin

🧁✧ ˚. PAIRING: Mafia boss! Jungkook x female oc

🧁✧ ˚. WARNINGS: Mentions of threatening behavior and emotional distress.

🧁✧ ˚. BLURB: The suited stranger keeps his promises, and Aurora isn't sure if that is supposed to be a good thing.

🧁✧ ˚. GENRE: Mafia au, grumpy x sunshine, forced proximity, slow burn, dark romance, crime/thriller.

🧁✧ ˚. TAGS: jk being a jerk part 21726 but he calls her sweetheart (derogatory), oc going through it part 56372

🧁✧ ˚. A/N: hey!! Hello! Hope you didn't forget me or this story cause I just posted part 10 on wattpad after years of being unproductive!! Who cheered 🤭🤭

🧁✧ ˚. TAG LIST: @scuzmunkie

CHAPTER 6: AURORA

Aurora wasn’t a prophet, but for the past few days, she had this unsettling hunch that the organ pumping in her chest would be the thing to take her down—maybe not by a heart attack, but something close enough.

Grim fact: Her family had no history of heart issues.

Normally, she didn't let anything or anyone burrow deep enough into her thoughts to keep her awake at 2 a.m., contemplating her life choices. Especially not with a knife stashed under her pillow, just in case those choices went south. Well, except maybe that one time when she decided to move away from home and open her own bakery. Her friends loved to call her reckless—more than she'd like to admit. It was probably the same reason her dad hovered over her, always a little too protective.

She'd be lying if she said her reckless streak hadn't played a starring role in the chaos of her life.

Now, even as the day in the bakery stretched onto a busy one- the kind she thrived on- she couldn't help thinking about the sudden absence of a certain man who carried bad mojo with him like a handbag and the letter she received days ago and safe to say, there wasn't much doubt about the sender. She should be glad, of course, that he isn't here to remind her how grateful she should be that there's not a bullet in her brain, but she was rather anxious after the envelope she received which was honestly a childish trick to pull on her neurons in her opinion.

And then there was her demand that was a further invitation for him to dwell more in her life, and she hadn't been able to think of that in the moment. So that only left her waiting and.. questioning.

Would he really help her out with the Mr Choi situation? Or was she the most naive person to think he was being genuine in his amusement and not sarcastic?

She sighed heavily like a old aged woman who had been through both wars before trying to ground herself back in the normalcy of the action of rearranging the trays of pastries that didn't sell and was gonna go up for donation in the display case, while lia checked the stock back in the kitchen.

It was a simple monotonous moment until it was not. The bell above the door chimed, causing Aurora to wonder since not many people visited in the closing hours. Yet the words came out almost automatically. "Welcome to Sunrise sweets!" Her figure still crouched down as she worked on the display.

The usual sounds of greetings and orders didn’t follow. Instead, there was a heavy, palpable silence with an energy that felt weirdly familiar. The kind that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

As she slowly straightened up to attend the odd customer, the sight in front of her had her wanting to hide back again because there stood her newest nightmare manifested in a tailored pinstripe suit that accumulated his broad and tall figure in a way that left her wondering how dild he even got through the door.

The words in that letter flashed the next thing in her mind. She should have known for him not to be the one who spewed empty threats...or promises.

For a moment, she forgot the basics to breathe as his gaze collided with hers.

He had been here before, yet that time had been a chilling dark night but now as the different colors of orange blending with blue from the sun going down the horizon illuminated the space and him, she realized how out of place he looked. She had that realization when he was sprawled across her couch, too. Just now, she had another one that it didn't matter what kind of room he was standing in. His presence will get anyone and everyone present in it to cower.

As if sensing the tension filling the air, lia peeked from the back, catching his attention for a millisecond, but that was enough to take her aback as well.

Aurora could feel her friend's confused eyes on her once she gauged how shrunken the brunette looked.

"Can we help you with something?" She asked as she appeared beside her friend, her voice steady and cautious. Clearly, she was surprised as well to see a figure like him walk up here but not horrified as her best friend who had seen him with a gun.

"No." He gave her a balant reply with a balant stare before turning his attention back to Aurora.

"We have business to discuss, Ms Beckett." She wasn't surprised to hear him say her name she never told yet the way he said he had buisness with her like he was mocking her was enough to send a chill down her spine. "Alone." He added, sparing lia another glance.

"Buisness? What is he talking about, Aurora?" Lia spoke, turning to her with confusion evident in her tone. Of course, she would be confused, surprised even. It was not every day a man in an Armani suit and tie that cost more than the space they were standing in, walked in to talk buisness.

Aurora's eyes peeked back at her friend with an uncertainty of their own. "I-uh.." Her gaze moved back and forth between her best friend and the man that seemed to look at her with an intention to bore a hole in her head.

Taking a deep breath and collecting her thoughts, she turned her back and made lia do the same, her voice intended for only her. "This.. is what I meant when I said I was exploring some options." Lia gave her a look of disbelief. "But - But you don't need to worry. He's a trusted ally even though he doesn't look like it. Everything's gonna be fine. You just need to let me have a talk with him." She hoped the blanched expression only crossed her face mentally when she said the words trusted ally and him in the same sentence.

"I'm not leaving you alone to speak to him, Aurora." She deadpanned, her voice intentionally loud enough for him to hear across the counter.

A deep exhale came from his side. Lia opened her mouth to protest further, but Aurora quickly placed a hand on her arm, squeezing it gently.

"It's fine, Lia. Really." She forced a reassuring smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. "Just give us a minute, okay?"

Lia looked unconvinced, her gaze flicking between Aurora and the man she was skeptical about, but after a tense moment, she sighed and nodded. "I'll be in the back," she said, her tone making it clear she wasn't going far.

As Lia disappeared behind the kitchen door, Aurora turned back to him, her nerves getting on edge again as she locked eyes with his.

"What buisness?" The sound was somewhat of whisper yell as if she was afraid of the walls listening but was still trying to make her point across at the same time.

He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he let his gaze drift around the bakery, taking in every detail with that calculating look that unnerved her so much. “This place—” he gestured vaguely at the bakery, “—is mine now.”

She blinked, the words not quite registering at first. “Yours?” she echoed, incredulous. “What do you mean, yours?”

"I brought it." He said - matter of fact - as if it was the most normal thing.

But to her, the words felt foreign, like they belonged in someone else’s nightmare, not hers. "You… bought it?”

"Choi is no longer your problem. Consider this… payment for your silence.” He spoke, his voice turning bitter at the latter.

Her mind raced, struggling to keep up with the situation. She should have felt relief—after all, wasn’t a resolution to her problem what she had asked for? Instead, a dread seeped into her bones.

It hit her then, like a slap she should have seen coming but didn’t. This wasn’t help. This was control. This was him sinking his claws into her world, and worse — it was her fault for letting him.

The words slipped out before she could stop it. “I didn’t ask for this.”

His expression was a puzzled one. "You asked for my help. This.." He stepped closer to the counter and reached into his coat pocket, pulling out a folded document. He placed it on the surface. "Is how I help."

Help? This was ridiculous. It wasn't a solution. Of course, Mr Choi was a nuisance, but this man was something worse than that. She didn't want something dear to her tied down to him.

But the weight of his words pressed down on her, the realization of what this meant sinking in.

"There must be a catch! Is all this really just for me to keep my mouth shut?" Her brows knitted together as she spoke.

His expression remained unreadable as he spoke, “Nothing more than what we agreed upon. And just your cooperation that I should add."

The nonchalance in his words didn't fool her. "Cooperation?"

His eyes flickered with something unreadable—dangerous, perhaps. "Keep your end of the bargain so I'll not be provoked to keep the end of my promise." She guessed what he was hinting at, and it took her everything not to choke him with a loaf down his throat.

The threat lingered in the air, a dark cloud settling over her. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. She had asked for help even if foolishly so, not for him to take over her life.

Aurora bit her lip,“You think you can just come in here, throw your money around, and claim whatever you want?”

He didn't respond, Instead fumbled a cigarette and a lighter from his pocket to lit it before he was holding it between his gloved fingers and parted lips.

She frowned deeper at the audacity of this man. "And you can't smoke here either!"

He straightened up to look at her with a detached look. Taking a whiff out of the cancer stick, he spoke."I own this place, sweetheart. I can do whatever the fuck I want. You can either accept it or fight it and see consequences you and this place won't like."

She glared at him, hating the truth in his words. Hating that she had somehow ended up in this mess. Yet all fight seemed to drain out of her. What choice did she have? She could actually act upon her urges to shove a loaf down his constantly threat spewing mouth but that wouldn’t change the fact that he did owned her bakery. And, by extension, a piece of her life.

"This-" She was cut off with brutal ignorance as he added. "You should be grateful, Ms Beckett." his eyes briefly scanning the bakery one last time before he turned to leave. "You're in better hands now."

The bell above the door chimed as he walked out, leaving her standing there with her world tilted off its axis and a stack of papers that confirmed just how deep she was in over in her head.

୨ৎ

"What was he on about?" Lia asked as she emerged from the kitchen that was in the back.

Aurora's response was a sigh before she spoke. "Do you wanna go for a drink?"

To be continued..

→Previous chapter.

[winterrrnight]

edith's 100 followers celebration!

The little things matter so much to me, and this achievement of having 100 of you following me to support my writing feels pretty much surreal! I have decided to put together a little celebration, I hope so many of you can participate in it! :)

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STARTS: 23 July, 2023 ENDS: 31 July, 2023

EVENTS:

before the coffee gets cold: choose out of drew & rafe and a prompt from here, and I'll write a little drabble/concept!

tokyo dreaming: get into my chat box and ask me anything from here!

the midnight library: give me a little concept with drew or rafe and I'll make a 3 pic moodboard inspired by it!

the perks of being a wallflower: tell me your name (optional) + a little bit about yourself and I'll give you an outfit which I think matches your vibe! (mutuals only!)

normal people: send me a profile picture and I'll give you matching navigation post pictures and headers!

(no Tumblr games like fmk, never have I ever etc bc they stress me out LOL)

RULES/GUIDELINES:

This shouldn't require to be said, but unfortunately it is, so: be nice! be respectful!

Only one request per ask please!

Please be patient as I do have a life outside Tumblr; I'm a student and studying is basically all I do so please let me take my time to get to all of the asks.

I'm tagging some mutuals & my taglist, without whom none of this is possible. I hope you all know how grateful I am for you, and I will forever be so happy to have met all of you 🥹 the community you have created on here is full of positivity and never have I ever felt out of place or unloved here. So thank you, thank you, thank you <3

@runningfrom2am @ragingsammie @maybankslover @totalswag @madelynie @chenslucy @ietss @elle-mp3 @luvmarsbars @whore4drew @veescorneroftheworld @dilvcv @folkdriving @mutual-mendes @loveu-always @slut4drudy @isabelllroseee @outerbankspov @rafeysgff @iheartmaddyperez @starmoonshines @vianwrites

some readers who I see very often in my notifications; please don't think I don't see the likes and reblogs, they mean the whole world to me 💝😭:

@sp00ky-spr1te (literally my first follower on this blog hello???) @one-sweet-gubler @alimaythings @ftlanadelrey @strawberrrygirl @starkeyletters @starkeypankowsbae @dixiegurl19 @m00nzysblog @angelw33dz @thewayilovedswift @tia-elizab3th @ellsellsells @t0ki0h0telbill

(if your name is crossed out, I tried tagging you but it wasn't letting me, please let me know if im making any mistake with your user + if I forgot someone, I'm so very sorry I have the memory of a goose + if I tagged someone who didn't want to be tagged, again, I'm so sorry; please feel free to ignore this!)

check out the tag 'edith's 100 followers celebration! 🪄' to catch up with everything I post for this celebration!

[vivi-in-the-sky-with-diamonds]

What Goes On In Your Heart? (MedStudent!reader x Paul)

(Photo by Linda McCartney <3 also to note, I personally imagined 1964ish Paul in this but you can imagine whatever you like since it really has no impact on the story lol anyway, I chose this photo for *ahem* reasons)

This wasn't my original post plan (especially given I was due to post yesterday, oops) but I remembered I wrote this a couple weeks ago and thought I'd post it instead! It's heavily inspired by this post by @mysweetgeo (not connected but you should read theirs first because I said so /hj) and my stupid amount of knowledge on the cardiac system (thanks, autism!). That said, that hyperfixation was awhile ago, though I did research while writing it, but if anything is inaccurate, let me know and I'll make changes! Originally written with a specific character in mind, but changed to be a fem!reader, so if there are any remnants of her written Scouse accent, please ignore lol. Proofed in UK English, like all of my Beatles fics. Anyway, enjoy c:

CW: light nudity, brief sex joke (can tag if needed)

I walk into the bedroom I share with Paul. “Paul?” He hums a response as he continues flipping through the book he’s reading. “I have an exam coming up tomorrow, and I was wondering if you could help me study.”

He sets his book down. “’course I can. Not sure how much help I’ll be in your field, though.”

I giggle. “That’s alright. I mainly just need you as a dummy.” I stop before saying, “Not a dummy, like a mannequin!”

Paul chuckles. “I dunno. I fit the dummy quite well.”

I slap him playfully. “You do not! Er, could you strip to your pants for me? Professional reasons only!”

He smirks as he does as told. “What exam could you possibly have that needs me like this?”

“Exam on the cardiovascular system. Well, it’s less of an exam and more of a project. I’m supposed to give a cardio exam to someone I know and report the results,” I answer. “I’m gonna be using my stethoscope, alright?”

“Whatever you need, love.”

I straddle him—only because it’s the easiest position for what I’m doing—before beginning my run-through. “Right, so first I’m supposed to check a bunch of things; make sure you don’t have cyanosis or oedema or things like that.”

He chuckles. “I dunno what any of that means but I put my trust in you.”

I laugh slightly. “Well, you’re not blue, pale, or swollen and you’re breathing fine so that part’s finished.”

I run through the rest of the visual things very quickly. “Alright, now, give me your wrist, please.” He follows my directions. “Ninety. Interesting.”

As I write the number down, he asks, “Is there somethin’ I should know about that number?”

“’s normal, if that’s what you’re asking,” I reply. “Well, a bit high but still in normal range. Something on your mind?”

“Oh, no,” he answers sarcastically. “Just watchin’ my bird straddle me, stethoscope round her neck, lookin’ like the sexiest doctor I’ve ever seen.

I blush slightly. “Shut up! Can I have your other wrist, please?” I feel for a moment before saying, “Okay, good, that’s in sync. Right arm, please.”

“Aren’t you gonna explain any of what you’re doin’?” he asks, giving me his arm. “Most patients, includin’ me, don’t have a clue what you’re up to.”

I blush. “Right, I forgot that part. Alright, what I just did was check your pulse and made sure it was synced in both arms. Now, I’m checking your pulse in a different spot.”

He chuckles as he watches me. “How many times are you gonna check it?”

I stick my tongue out. “Well, I only had two more, but now you’ve earned a third, since you wanna ask stupid questions.”

He pouts. “That’s no fair.”

I roll my eyes with a smirk. “Bollocks, where have I left my— oh, it’s right here.” Paul chuckles at me as I continue, “Blood pressure. Checking it in both arms. Professor said lying and standing aren’t both required so we’ll just do lying.”

“I don’t like that thing,” he whines as I strap on my blood pressure cuff.

“You’ll be alright,” I reply. “’sides, you agreed to this, didn’t ye?”

He pouts again. “That was before I knew it entailed all this.”

“Keep quiet, I can’t hear!”

A look of pure sarcasm covers his face.

“126/80.” I write the number down as I continue, “A bit high but normal, to match that ‘a bit high but normal’ pulse you’ve got. Gonna check the other arm now.”

“How do you even know what you’re listenin’ for?” he asks when I finish the other arm.

“Identical,” I murmur to myself before saying, “Come here.” I strap the cuff around my own arm and situate my stethoscope. “I’m gonna squeeze the cuff. You’re gonna hear a thump, alright? That’s what you’re listening for.”

He nods—though I’m not sure he completely understands—before closing his eyes to dedicate his attention to his hearing. “Oi, I hear it!” he says after a second.

“What’s the number?”

He squints to read the tiny numbers on the metre. “110.”

“Alright, tell me when the sound is gone.”

A silent moment passes before he speaks, “There. 70.”

I give him a sly smile. “Congratulations, Macca. You’ve just done your first blood pressure reading.”

He gives a proud smile. “Alright, what’s next?”

“Take a wild guess,” I answer sarcastically.

He rolls his eyes. “Where this time?”

“Neck, but I’m gonna listen first. Chin up.” I place the diaphragm of my stethoscope against his neck. “Breathe in and hold, please.”

I can tell he’s getting a bit put out with the number of things I have to do in an exam.

“Right, nothing wrong there.”

“Pardon me for askin’,” he interrupts, voice dripping with sarcasm, “but what was that for?”

Ignoring the tone in his voice, I answer, “Just checking for murmurs and bruits so I don’t give ye a stroke.”

He quirks an eyebrow but chooses not to pursue the question. I place two fingers on his carotid pulse.

“Everythin’ good?” he asks, his voice vibrating my fingers.

“Yep, still ninety,” I reply. “Right, time for your punishment pulse check. Spread your legs for me.”

He blushes and asks, “Why?” as he follows my directions.

“Gonna check the pulse in your femoral artery,” I answer. I place my hand where his leg meets his groin, putting my other hand on top. “Interesting how the pulse here is 115.”

He blushes deep red. “I dunno why I agreed to this.”

“Because you love me, yeah, yeah, yeah,” I sing. “’sides, my professor didn’t ask for that pulse so I’m not writing that down. Right, here comes the fun part. Well, fun for me. Checking your pulse again but on your chest this time. Hands to your sides.”

He does as I ask before I place my hand on his chest. I check in a few different spots before he says, “I’ll bite. What you doin’ now?”

“Making sure I can’t feel any murmurs. You can feel some of ‘em, ye know.”

He makes a surprised face. “I actually didn’t know that.”

“Now this is my favourite part,” I say emphatically, donning my stethoscope. “Mainly because it’s the easiest since I’ve never actually seen a patient with a murmur.”

He chuckles a bit and asks, “Well, what do I need to do?”

“Be very quiet.”

He lets out a little chuckle before going silent as I begin auscultating every area of his heart with both the diaphragm and bell.

“How’s it soundin’ in there?” he asks, startling me slightly.

“Still ninety, if that’s what you’re asking,” I reply after gaining my composure. “Or are you asking for a listen?”

“Askin’ for a listen on you,” he teases.

I roll my eyes with a grin. I know he’s not serious, but I humour him anyway. “Mitral. Tricuspid. Pulmonary. Aortic.” I move the diaphragm around with each word. “And just for you, Erb’s point. Not a valve but we listen there anyway. Don’t ask me why because I don’t know.”

“Mitral’s my favourite,” he blurts.

“Don’t go all ‘cardiologist’ on me, Macca,” I laugh. “Don’t worry, it’s mine too. And with that, I can safely say you, Mr. McCartney, are healthy as a horse, as far as your heart’s concerned.”

He smirks. “So, what do I get for participatin’ in this?”

“I’ll give you a stress test later.” I give him a quick kiss before climbing off him and reporting the rest of my findings.

[dracarialove]

📄 Posting my finished fics here, too 📄

*Check the 'shadow's heart' tag if you haven't read chapter 1

[Chapter 8: Paradise]

"Do you have everything, love?" Shadow called up the stairs.

He was standing by the bottom step, two duffel bags at his feet, wearing an orange button-up T-shirt that he left open in the front. Ready for their trip, he was excited to get away from the city he'd become so familiar with and have a week just to himself and his woman.

"I should!" Rouge called back, then her footfalls came quickly down the stairs. She was wearing a backpack and holding her cumbersomely large purse. "If I forgot anything, I guess I'll just have to buy it out there."

The hedgehog picked up his bags and headed towards the door, where Rouge opened it for him before grabbing the handle of her big rolling luggage.

Following the locking of their front door, the vacation-bound pair loaded their things into Shadow's car, then hopped inside to head to the airport.

Rouge let out a big sigh as she pulled the seat belt over her chest. "I am so ready to be poolside and not worrying about anything happening here!"

"Me, too," he agreed, gripping the wheel and turning the key.

Shadow flipped on the radio and let her search for a station while they pulled out of the driveway; then Rouge struck up a conversation as they drove through the city. "So, what kind of plans do you have for us when we get out there?"

"Well, I booked a luxury hotel, so I was thinking we could relax from our flight after we check in," he suggested. "Maybe order room service before we go out, then see the sights... whatever there is to do."

"A luxury hotel?" Her tone was impressed and satisfied. "Goodness, Shadow, not that I'm complaining, but what made you go all out like that?"

The hedgehog chuckled a little, glancing at her before looking back to the road. "You're with me. I know you like the finer things, and I have no problem giving you that. Besides, how often do we get to vacation like this?"

"True enough," she conceded, happy with his answer, though it was only half of the truth.

He wanted to make their time away as romantic as it could be, even though the engagement ring was already burning a hole in his pocket. His reoccurring nerves made him want to just get it over with – the sooner Rouge was his fiancée, the sooner he could relax about their future together.

But she deserved a grand gesture, especially after just having spent weeks apart. The speedster reminded himself that it was okay to anticipate things, to have something big to look forward to... even if he felt less composed than normal. Proposing was not something to be made into a chore.

***

They landed on South Island a few hours later and immediately caught a cab to the resort. And when they opened the door to their room, the bat let out a gasp at the comfy modern design of the big room.

Cool grays and crisp whites partnered with warm browns along the walls, floor, and furniture; a tall king-sized bed took up ¼ of the room, resting adjacent to a smoke-colored loveseat.

And behind the double-seated sofa was a window reaching from floor to ceiling, with an outward view of the nearby beach at a breathtaking height.

Rouge walked in with her bags and beamed, "Holy shit, this room is beautiful!"

Her luggage, backpack, and purse were dropped near the foot of the bed and she bent forward to run her hands along the plush mattress, feeling the softness of the sheets. "Oh, this is bad – if I like this bed more than my own, I'll want a new one when we get home!"

Shadow walked up behind her, a smile on his face, and leaned over the woman's form to speak quietly near her ear. "And get rid of all the memories we made in that bed? I wouldn't allow it."

A playful chortle left rose-colored lips and she straightened her posture, pressing her back against his front while his hands slipped around her hips. "You're so sentimental. You know you'll have those memories forever."

"Yeah, but..." Shadow shrugged while his girlfriend turned around to face him. "I can't help the attachment."

With a dreamy look in her eyes, Rouge sighed and took his face in both her hands. "I understand, darling. Things can stay just the way they are."

They kissed, and the Ultimate Lifeform was soon pulled onto the bed to complete their first task as a couple on vacation before they ordered room service, then took a quick shower and changed into outfits that would keep them comfortable from afternoon to sundown.

Rouge looked out the giant window while he made sure they had all the personal effects they would need while out on the town; she could see most of the beach, where Mobians and humans wandered the sands and enjoyed the water.

But she could also see the outdoor pools connected to the resorts, as well as stands along the grassy border with logos of food and ice cream on them.

What she couldn't see was the small town behind their hotel, having no idea what kind of nightlife or restaurants might be nearby. How exciting it would be to explore the streets with her beau and find some interesting spots to make new memories!

And when Shadow was ready, she hooked her purse onto her shoulder and they left together, grabbing a brochure from the lobby on their way out of the building.

"Let's see, there isn't much to do here," Shadow said, reading the pamphlet while they walked down the block. "The beach is the main attraction in this area, although I do see some small shops and a restaurant listed..."

"So, where's all the really fun stuff?"

"In a bigger city a little farther out." He pointed at the map and the dense cluster of destination names in a section that was disconnected from where their hotel was located. "It looks like most of the nightlife and food spots are out there, but it isn't far. If nothing here catches your interest, we could head over there now."

"Hmm," Rouge pondered, looking at the brochure herself, then pointed at the paper. "Well, there's a little daiquiri place near here – just down the street and around the corner!"

One black eyebrow lowered in questioning. "You want to? Already?"

"One drink wouldn't hurt! I haven't had a daiquiri in a while."

"Alright, then, a drink and we'll head off to the next town." The hedgehog stuck out his elbow and Rouge wrapped her arm around his, the pair making the short walk to their first spot to share a glass.

After that, they flagged down another cab, which took them through the less-developed area between the district of their resort and the bustling variance of the busier city.

The island seemed to be teeming with wildlife outside of the vacation spots, making for a bigger difference between the natural world and the crafted attractions offered to tourists.

They didn't have any desire to disrupt the jungle landscape by exploring, but the lush greens and colorful dots of wildflowers were pretty to look at on the drive.

When the taxi dropped them off, they were greeted by an abundance of shops and businesses lining either side of the street. Flower shops, toy stores, restaurants, arcades, movie theaters, bars and pool halls – even roller rinks and ice cream parlors.

Rouge grinned at the possibilities, pressing her hands together and almost bouncing with excitement. Then, she turned to Shadow and grabbed his hand, lacing her fingers between his. "Let's see what all these places have to offer!"

The nearest attraction was an arcade, its floor covered by colorfully patterned carpet, as if the navy-blue expanse had been sprinkled with confetti. The overhead lights were dim, enhancing the glow of the bulky machines that flickered different types of games on their screens.

After trading some money for tokens, they walked along between other patrons playing first-person shooters and platformers, soon hopping onto an unoccupied racing game. Shadow had to admit his girlfriend's energy was infectious, getting himself a little too wrapped up in the fun of besting her on a fake course.

The bat playfully scoffed when their final game declared her man as the victor with one more win than her. They got up from their seats and she teased, "I would've beaten you if that last course didn't have so many obstacles!"

"Oh, yeah, I'm sure," he bantered back, collecting their tickets. "If only the game was easier; or was I supposed to lose on purpose?"

"Tch, smartass!" she piped, rolling her eyes as he slipped his hand around her waist.

They bounced from game to game for a while, playing all of the cooperative shooters and gambling games before they noticed a crowd around the dance machine.

Walking over, they joined the group of onlookers watching two Mobians competing as electronic music bumped from the speakers. The dark duo could see why they'd gathered an audience, noticing the string of perfect moves flashing on the screen while they danced energetically.

It wasn't long before the song ended, declaring one of them the winner with a slightly higher score before they were mobbed with applause from the young-looking viewers.

Shadow and Rouge turned in their tickets for a big stuffed plush of a red-colored heart, then moved on to the next place that caught their attention. The ivory jewel-lover insisted on going inside a jewelry store, walking out with a silver necklace draped over her collar bone, the sparkling band lined with amethyst stones.

Then the Ultimate Lifeform stopped briefly at one of the flower shops for a small bouquet of pink carnations, the edges of their soft petals boasting fringes of bright red. Though he didn't care much for florals, the colors had caught his eye; and it was still a romantic gesture, as far as he knew, to offer a bundle of them.

With evening only an hour away, and as their stomachs whined for fuel, the couple decided to go to the nearest food stop – a coffee shop, where they had warm drinks and pastries as the sun started to sink. And when they left, the sky was nearly dark, boasting their favorite time of day.

Deciding to head back, they made a plan to visit the beach for a cool, relaxing rest before it got too gloomy to be outside. So, they gathered their things at the hotel and walked out onto the sands, finding it much more deserted than before. Rouge found a cute nook where a rocky boundary left a small portion of the beach relatively hidden.

"Let's set up here," she suggested, pulling a big towel from her beach bag to spread on the ground.

There was a sort of luminescent quality to bits of the stone that surrounded them, shards of pale blue glimmering under the moonlight. And the ocean reflected as much, ice-white ripples gently rolling along the deep indigo hue of the sea.

The air was a bit more humid than they were used to, but it was cool under the darkness of evening, so Shadow had no qualms as they sat together on the malleable earth beneath. He heard Rouge pull in a soft, slow breath, letting it out in an extended, satisfied sigh.

"This is perfect," left her charming lips, the light of the moon reflecting in her turquoise eyes as she stared up at it.

The quiet speedster couldn't ignore her beauty, her shapely figure lounging in a white bikini. He leaned over to her and cupped her face in one dark hand when she looked at him, then muttered, "It is. I'm glad we took this trip."

Her smile deepened and they kissed, then Shadow pulled back enough to declare, "I want to take you to dinner tomorrow. We can do more fun stuff the day after, but... tomorrow I want something a bit quieter. Is that okay?"

"Of course. We can chill in the hotel until then, if you want. It'll be nice."

He cracked a smirk and dropped his hand from her cheek. "Yes, it will," murmured the hedgehog, purposely lining his tone with an amorous quality while he ran his palm along the curve of her hip to the back of her thigh, holding it gently and leaning in for another kiss.

Rouge leaned into him, as well, letting her own hand caress the slight bend of his chest, its shape much more subtle than hers but defined by muscle that was more noticeable by touch than by sight.

She enjoyed his body as much as he enjoyed hers – each of them perfect, by each other's standards – and it didn't take long for the pair to wrap themselves in an intimate embrace, blissfully alone under the starry blanket of nighttime.

[hazel-islivingtrash]

OH wow I forgot to post this weeks chapter sneak peek! My apologies :)

Anyways, tragedy falls upon our rag-tag family as Wasuke Itadori passes away, leading to a familial confrontation. This chapter will be posted at its normal time around 3pm eastern time tomorrow!

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Chapter 17 sneak peek: Whatever Tomorrow Brings I’ll Be There

(slight spoilers but nothing major!)

Everything had started to make a lot more sense after Suguru explained his scar and the tragic story behind it. It explained why he was always so diligent with the girls, and the way he talked about loss.

His strength through it all was something that fueled Satoru’s admiration for him.

Satoru leaned into them, wrapping his arms around them to encircle them in a hug, tugging on Shoko’s sleeve to pull her in as well. The other kids joined from where they stood, pressing themselves against their legs. It was bittersweet, a moment that would thread itself through all of them.

They stood there with each other for as long as they needed to. None of them said anything as they broke apart, but the looks on each of their faces said enough.

It was rough for everyone, in their own ways.

Suguru set Yuji back down, gently giving him one last hug before fully letting go. Yuji wiped his tears away, thanking Suguru quietly before returning to the other kids.

Shoko excused herself to take a smoke break, walking down the block and away from the other guests.

Satoru leaned against Suguru, brushing their heads together before placing a light kiss on his cheek. Suguru spun him and pulled him into a proper hug, holding onto him tightly. Satoru wrapped his arms around his lover, holding him while he started to cry until they were both crying.

Reliving the deaths of their past relatives through this event was hard, but watching one of their kids that they loved so dearly go through loss like that early in life only broke their hearts more. It was inevitable, a fate sealed long ago, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

They pulled away from each other, and Satoru wiped Suguru’s tears from his face before attending to his own. Suguru gave him an appreciative smile, grasping his hand as he wiped another tear away to kiss the back of it.

When Suguru’s eyes looked back up to Satoru, his attention shifted to something behind him. He looked confused, and let their hands drop together as he looked over Satoru’s shoulder.

Satoru turned to see what the deal was, and he scrunched his eyebrows together at the sight, a million questions popping up in his head.

There was a man, tall and stocky, with weird facial tattoos and pink hair like Yuji’s, standing over the kids and talking to them. 

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If this intrigues you, it would be amazing if you could check out my fic! Updates are posted every Saturday!

I also made an Instagram to dump some of my art on :) so if you would like to check that out as well that would be amazing! ❤️❤️

Current status of fic:

Current status of fic: 16 out of 25 chapters complete, just over 94k words ❤️❤️

**The story is rated mature and with a warning of graphic depictions of violence.

[ongreenergrasses]

✨ End of Year Questions ✨

tagged by @genyathefirebird thank you 💜 i was apprehensive to answer these because i thought i hadn’t written that much but uh. Turns out i wrote a lot it’s just that nobody’s seen any of it.

What is your favorite thing you created?

i think my favorite is zombie movies, because that felt like closing a chapter that i didn’t even know i’d left open. runner up is something slightly cursed encouraged by @xar626 whether she knew it or not where i returned to something I wrote this summer and it turned out it was 2k about a very pivotal blowjob. which i consequently wrote in comic sans. it needs at least another 2k before it’ll be ready for polite society

Which work are you proudest of?

AMARYLLIS i forgot i posted Amaryllis this year. i am so proud of it

Is there anything you are proud of that you achieved this year?

i’ve had brief shining moments where i’ve been writing every day and i’m proud of that. i absolutely believe that it was what allowed me to pass the big test i took this year because i had practice quickly organizing my thoughts and putting them to page

Did you explore anything new this year?

i learned to crochet! i took a class and then i was like yeah this is the life so i’ve crocheted a hat a lot of granny squares with my scrap yarn and am working on a strawberry bag

Which work gave you the most difficulty?

shout out to that time i got caught writing porn on a plane this year and i was like i have to post this or it’ll mean NOTHING and it still isn’t posted because i’m only halfway through revising and i have negative sixteen ideas for a title

What was your biggest creative challenge this year?

i found myself in multiple situations this year where i was confronted with something genuinely close to my worst fears in term of my PTSD, and in both situations i was required to do my absolute best on creative work, once taking a test (lots of writing!) and once playing in the pit in a very long and difficult production. being able to tap into my skills and perform to my best ability was one of the hardest things i’ve ever done and THEN i cut my finger and had to do 3 shows without use of a finger. so that was exceptionally challenging but i succeeded and overcame!

Which work brought you the most joy?

be on your way for sure, first serious smut i’ve ever published and a rarepair passion project. loved writing it and loved posting it

Which of your works do you think people should check out?

i would say i write pretty varied stuff, a lot of it is about grief and a lot of it is angst, so it’s hard to say but i think the series love, persevering is some of my best writing. prompt fills are all under #prompts and my ao3 is here

Do you have creative plans for next year? Is there anything exciting you’re currently working on?

i do want to set myself the goal of posting a lot of the fic on my phone if i can get it up to my personal standard. i’m really nervous about posting it because it’s a big departure from the type of thing i normally write and it’s also for a pairing that is very personal for me, i also know that it’s for something that’s older so i know it won’t be that popular which is always something that makes posting less fun

in terms of music, this is the year i fully learn the prelude to Bach’s 6th cello suite, it’s one of the most beautiful pieces of all time imo. i am also very fortunate in that i’ll get to play Largo from Dvorak’s New World which has been a dream of mine for a long time, plus i get the beautiful little solo 💖 and in terms of fiber arts, it’s the year i finally knit a sweater (or three) and crochet a couple blankets

Lastly, any words of wisdom or advice you’d like to share?

i think writing a lot and posting almost nothing has reminded me why i write, and that’s just because i love it. the external validation is nice and important but if you’re writing just for that, you will inevitably lose your joy for it, which is what happened to me in 2022. set goals for yourself, write what comes naturally, and you can keep it forever or post it, whatever serves you.

tagging @goldheartedsky @sigurism @godihatethisfreakingcat @scorchedhearth @shatterthefragments @bakingmoomins and anyone else who would like to 🌸 important note this doesn’t have to just be about writing!! Anything creative goes

[acrossthewavesoftime]

Making fun of people’s mental health issues, even if they aren’t people that you particularly like, is absolutely despicable. This is incredibly poor behaviour for a so called “historian”. Whatever happened to working against historical bias? You don’t have to like bpc, but maybe check yourself first before you mock someone’s alcoholism

Anon,

You are indeed correct that I am not particularly fond of Charles Edward Stuart. That said, you should not treat a three to four lines long post on Tumblr the same as a scholarly opinion expressed in, say, a thesis or a paper. These are different media, and serving different purposes.

The post is already marked as not being anything close to historical fact as it deals with Charles Edward and his father being (un-) able to set up bots, which, given the different landscape of technology and information media in their day and sardonic tone, should be enough to know not to treat this post as a scholarly piece.

I agree that illnesses are a difficult subject and have to be dealt with sensibly.

In the case at hand, there is ample historical record suggesting that Charles Edward Stuart was generally not a very pleasant person to deal with, growing increasingly worse following the failed rebellion in Scotland, which seems to be the time when he made visibly intoxicated appearances in public more often. Being seen behaving erratically further hurt his cause as it led to potential European supporters feeling that he was in no shape to make another (and successful) attempt on the British throne (or even just on Scotland), which frustrated him, and perhaps contributed to his alcohol abuse, which also alienated him from his partner Clementina Walkinshaw and only daughter.

Walkinshaw left Charles after putting up with a little shy of a decade of physical and psychological abuse to protect their young daughter Charlotte and herself from harm, possibly with the help of his own father, as Charles' controlling ways meant she would have had little chance of just closing the door and leaving, even more so as mother and daughter would have been financially dependent on Charles, who, for the next 23 years, did not support his child as she grew up and declined wanting any contact with her.

Given this historical background which the post and tags also allude to, I felt it was safe as not to be misread as a general vilification of people struggling with alcohol abuse (who are, which is important to mention, not automatically abusive, particularly intentionally so, to other people by the way), but an expression of a personal distaste for this particular man featured in the post which is coloured by the fact he turned violent against people in a socially and physically weaker position than and dependent on him while intoxicated, and did so, as the lengthy period of the abuse and indeed disparaging letters written by him suggest, unremorsefully.

This does of course not mean that I think Charles Edward Stuart would not have deserved help, a kind of help that sadly was not available at the time, or that I have a distaste for any (modern) person who struggles with an addiction of any kind. If you had taken the time to check my past post history, you would have found that there is nothing to suggest so.

Your criticism has however alerted me to the fact that I forgot to add warning-/mention-tags to the post as I normally would, so that people who do not wish to stumble over a post mentioning either alcoholism or domestic abuse can filter it; I have rectified that.

To me, the line "[y]ou don’t have to like bpc" especially in conjunction with you also citing "working against the historical bias", reads as though your main point of issue with my post is that I do not like Charles Edward Stuart and made an according comment on my blog.

If this is the case, my best advice (something you were so free in giving me unwantedly that I in turn am confident you will hear out mine) to you is to not engage with people whose opinions you don't agree with rather than getting up and personal in anons.

I don't know you (and you clearly don't want to be known by me even in a loose internet-acquaintance way, seeing as you used the anon function for your ask), and don't have to agree with me; but I am also firmly of the opinion that the key to good, peaceful coexistence in any space where people meet is to engage them respectfully.

To me, your response is emblematic of the worrying trend of (internet-) anti-intellectualism that does not tolerate discourse in that, instead of expressing polite critique, you resort to a public response coupled with attacking the credentials you deem me to have under the guise of defending what, nonnegotiably, is a good cause (namely the dignified treatment of people who suffer from mental illnesses) by taking a post out of context, or misreading its message.

Lastly, I would also like to remind you that first and foremost, you are responsible for curating your own online experience and how that, and your resulting behaviour, affects others; you are of course free to disagree with me or any other poster on this site or anywhere else, but there are other, more proportionate responses to not liking a post someone put on their own personal blog than getting up and personal in an accusatory anon message.

Your personal feelings on a matter are not necessarily those of others, and to shout at a stranger because you do not agree with them is poor form both in person and online.

You are free to block people, including me, whose posts you don’t want to see and sites like AO3 or Tumblr allow you to filter tags.

Perhaps the best, and most effortless response is to move on from posts that you do not agree with. This does of course not mean you should ignore things such as hate speech or other content that violates Tumblr user guidelines, or indeed the law (e. g. doxing, (explicit) images posted without the consent of the person in them, or in some places, denying the Holocaust happened etc.), but if a post simply does not sit right with you personally, sometimes the best response is none at all. There is so much content on Tumblr alone that each of us could fill our entire day just sending (and in turn, receiving) rude anons to people we disagree with for one or the other reason.

If you feel like wanting to discuss something you read with the original poster, perhaps the best response is to send them a private message, and ask politely “what do you mean by [x]?” or “could you please explain?” rather than sending them a rude anon attacking them personally. Many people, including me, are genuinely open to discussion and constructive criticism and will listen to what you have to say if you approach them politely.

[earthtooz]

hi earth! i was wondering if you possibly had any advice for anyone who wants to start a writing blog or general tips. if you’re comfortable with it, it would also be cool to know what your writing process is like! you write very well so i’m just curious. thank you for taking the time to read this and i hope you have a lovely day!

first of all, this ask was what got me out of bed in the morning to go to my laptop where i did nothing for like 2 hours.

ANYWAYS I’ve been awake for seven hours now and i still haven’t answered it LOL, but thank u for taking the time to pop into my inbox anon!! so honoured u thought of me 🤭🤭

i’m more than happy to answer any questions u may have!! i’ve only been writing here for like one and a half years but I’ll gladly share some tips for new writers <3

tips for new writers - writing on tumblr in general:

formatting and your writing style is very important!!! people most of the time will like stories that have good grammar and are easy to read, so know your punctuation- duh, i mean, most people know where to put their commas, full stops, and shit, but as even a native English speaker i still need to double check sometimes 😭😭😭

ALSO, figure out if you’re a writer who likes to write with proper punctuation or in lower case like i am rn. people on tumblr don’t care which one you opt for so it’s a matter of personal preference!!

personally, i like to use proper punctuation for longer fics with more plot, and lower case writing for normal drabbles, headcannons, etc, all up to you :3 depends on what i feel like tho, i just like the look of lower case hehe

also, you can totally write drafts on tumblr or another platform - i switch between docs and tumblr. shorter pieces on tumblr and longer pieces on Google docs !!

how to get attention on tumblr as a new writer - the importance of tags:

USE THE TAGS - DON’T BE SHY !!! USE A VARIETY !!!! it’s so easy to get reads on tumblr if you just know your tags. i also will say: be mindful of whether or not you stay in tags bc your post can suddenly just disappear- this has happened to me so many times 😭😭 to do that just search if your fic is still popping up in the ‘recent’ section of the tags AND EVERY TIME AFTER U POST SOMETHING, TAKE THE TIME TO SEARCH IF IT’S IN THE ‘RECENT’ TAGS.

(this part might make zero sense, but if it’s been a couple hours and your post still is not popping up, you can either edit it again, make no changes, and press ‘save’.)

general tips:

have an aesthetic layout.

obviously it’s not ‘essential’, but i always find myself more likely to follow blogs that are pretty or have an aesthetics

it takes so long to do but it’s so worth it 😭 if you looks at the fics that do very well, the formatting it very beautiful and pleasing to the eye.

if you’re struggling with a layout, there are so many inspos available on tumblr, just search up ‘blog inspo’ or ‘layout inspo’ and you’ll generally be pretty successful. if all else fail just go to your fav blogs and see how they set up their blog/navigation/aesthetic!!!

having a set colour for your blog can also look nice and less chaotic. for example; mine is red and it’s my (usually) go-to colour for a lot of stuff. just make sure u like the colour tho ☝️

also don’t be afraid to talk to people! AUTHORS LOVE WHEN YOU COMPLIMENT THEIR WORK!! getting mutuals is such a great feeling so PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE !!!!! MAKE FRIENDS 😮😮

my writing process:

i am that writer that likes to have a plot before i start anything, but it’s never complete. normally when i’m going abt my day, i suddenly think of a piece of dialogue or scenario that makes me go ‘hold on. let me write that down’.

for example, recently i thought of a piece of dialogue for an angst fic (that i don’t know if i’ll use) that goes:

‘no i’m not upset that you forgot about our anniversary, in fact, i already predicted you would.’

another idea i had was: you don’t ever want to leave nagi seishiro hungry.

sometimes I get these ideas when i’m in bed like bro 😐 let me rest…

if i feel inspired enough to continue said ideas, i do, but i never force the fic from happening bc then it’ll be mediocre and just… okay. not something i want on my blog 😭

but then i decide the wordlength, how many scenes i want to be in there. for example, my mistletoe todoroki fic i set out for 4k and met my goal. but my itoshi rin Xmas fic only met around 1k when my goal was 2k - sometimes this happens and i cant be mad if i think the story is done there.

it’s never that organised though, if you look at my drafts, it’s a scrabble of words. i jump from scene to scene with big gaps in between that i need to fill in later 😭 but that’s just how i write LOL ! you may be totally different from me which is a-okay :3

then i grind til the fic is done, reread then bam 💪 ! do my usual formatting on tumblr, tags, and then you’ll see the final result!! easier said than done bc when you want to be done with a fic and just post it, you then need to do all the actual presentation of the fic 😭😭😭

anyways yeah, that’s my process summarised lol!! hope it helped u get a little bit of an idea for what the earthtooz blog grind looks like 🫡

so yeah, i think that’s all i rly need to say!! if you wanna follow my advice or not, up to u, but once again, thank u for popping in my inbox anon and asking me!! gave me something to do whilst on my walk 🤭

cant wait to see what you write, always feel free to come back and ask if you need some ‘extra help’, but i believe in you! good luck and have fun writing, and i hope to see u in the tags someday :D

[andthebubbles]

rop 2x08

all righteyyyy well that was pretty good, but shame that we have to follow gandalf and the harfoots... also skfjngkfnjkfg so none of that harfoot stuff happened?? it was just so that gandalf could get his stick?? HE TOOK 8 EPS TO GET HIS STICK????

estrid grrrr go away!!! isildur stop being a dumbass, she's already betrayed you like 5 million times, when will you learn

kemen being a twat as always

brimby!!!! 😭 brimby you were awesome and you'll be missed. give charlie vickers and charles edwards all the acting awards

i enjoyed sauron and galadriel's fight too. you got the feel that at the start he was just playing with her skjfngkfg. and whoever said in the reblog tags of the gifset of the final part of their fight that it was a bit hammy, yeah it was but no worse than what we've had to watch via lotr, so i'm all right with it. if anything it was a post-production choice anyway

looooved seeing galadriel fight sauron in his galadriel form XD like, just seeing how morfydd's mannerisms etc changed :3

okay so......... how did sauron get the orcs onto his side? i'm gonna have to check the internet for that. reddit or something

rip glüg(?) the orc with an arc 😭

RIP ADAR TOO (though why did he give back nenya...? another thing the internet will answer for me (also why was his beginning pose (crouched facing the fallen log thing(?)) weird))

when elrond was like 'don't burn that stuff it's brimby's stuff!' i was like lmao yeah now they're DEFINITELY going to burn it, and they did

that last valley/waterfall/rocky stuff, that's going to be future rivendell isn't it...?

so... i didn't know durin iv had a brother skjfngk. also they should yeet those rings, but we know they won't

so durin iii just leapt into the balrog... right. okay. at least he took off the ring. although i guess he should've leapt with it on. hm

sauron is gonna go hang with the dwarves next maybe?

damnnn watching sauron torture brimby was tough to watch (but the sadist in me was enjoying his whimpering in pain out of context /files it for later use in my own fics if i need to write a character in pain lmao (the sound of it skjnfg shhh i'm fine))

someone should just stick a sword in kemen, honestly

elendil doing solo elendil things, that'll be interesting

or maybe sauron is going to go to numenor next? well we'll see

sauron is awful and i enjoy watching him!

anyhoo i'll add to this if/when i think of anything to add/that i've missed

ETA already skjfngk:

it was kinda ... lol... when people who were wounded/dying (galadriel and brimby), and they were still talking/had a lot to say skjfngk but yeah that's main character syndrome

ETA again: but nah seriously... i mean, i'm no expert on how people sound when they die, but surely.... SURELY they would sound not so normal just seconds before dying...? orrrr. well i mean i wouldn't know, i haven't killed anyone 👀 anyway i did still enjoy it

i think my s2 faves are brimby and... well i liked isildur in the earlier eps when he had more to do. and berek! but yeah. i think brimby wins this one. but sauron was awesome too. hecc. and i liked durin and disa too ofc. i think i liked all of them except for gandalf and the harfoots... and estrid maybe... oh and miriel! never been a fan of her. as for kemen, he's definitely detestable but i don't find him dull. actually, the biggest crime is to be dull, so gandalf and the harfoots win this one. and tom bombadil. miriel is not dull, i just don't really care skfjgnkfjn. and estrid is facepalm. but yeah. minor things

ETA: nearly forgot to mention eärien! i love her dresses as always :3 also i'm enjoying her character, how she's siding with pharazon but still loyal to her dad. also i forgot that elendil had another son?? haha

ETA: so i read that brimby was doing a prophecy as he was dying. so, disregard what i said earlier re his voice skjfngkjfng that was p cool ngl

[amaounghususssy]

I think I just became a pariah on an mspfa fandom

There's this mspfa called deadlock that is like really fucking amazing and I read the whole thing in one sitting and t was like 700 pages and I couldn't stop thinking about it. Anyways 2 days later after my second readthrough I get to the end and go to the new pages that were added after I finished it the first time and keep in mind this thing has been updating for 8 months before I found it. On the page, the creator said they were unhappy with where it was going and was rebooting the whole thing from the start and unlisting the old one. If you haven't experienced content grief let me tell you it is horrible especially when the obsession is fresh. I kind of freaked the fuck out I admit and even though I knew the new one was probably going to turn out to be better, I was still planted firmly in the anger stage of grief at the time and commented something along the lines of "(character): do nothing. Nothing matters since that comic you like got rebooted" and then kind of immediately left and forgot about that comment. I'm sorry I swear I was in a bad place and it was the middle of the night. The next day I checked my notifications and saw that someone tagged me saying more or less "SHUT UP (USERNAME) NOBODY CARES" and it ratioed the hell out of me. Fight or flight kicks in and I delete my comment but the angry one still has my username in it to call me out with and I kind of felt like actual garbage for a while. There was another comment from the creator and I don't know if it was in response to mine but it pretty much said (regarding the decision to reboot) "I write for myself not other people" and i'm a visual thinker as soon as I see the comment I made, the angry one, and that one in conjunction my mind conjures a picture of an angry criminal or something (me) being hauled away by the cops and screaming "I'LL GET YOU BACK FOR THIS" at a tearful child (the creator) while the creator's parent (angry commenter) says "never go near my child again or you're dead, you hear me?" And I couldn't get that image out of my head for a while. Sucked. Anyways after deleting the comment I don't know why but I still felt like idk expressing this somewhere. I went into an unrelated fanventure's comments and AFTER THINKING IT OVER SO I DON'T SAY ANYTHING TOO REGRETFUL HOPEFULLY I just write "I can't believe (creator) rebooted deadlock". I know it sounds like I'm being dramatic going to these lengths and I probably was but you haven't read this thing man. Nobody reacts to the comment so mission accomplished I guess.

A couple days pass to today, and I've recovered to an extent. Not sure how much of an extent but the change was noticeable I guess. Basically I go on the deadlock discord and it has this channel where people can plug their own random mspfas for whatever reason. I decide why the hell not and do that. This is where the real unbelievable shit happens. As soon as I post the link and a quick message about having posted it there, someone types the exact comment. That I wrote on the other fanventure. It was like "page 349, 9 Apr 2024, (username), I can't believe (creator) rebooted deadlock". This was SECONDS after I make a message in the discord. You can't make this shit up. I said "What" and the other person never responded. Nobody else was on that channel. I know it wasn't a bot because they had a normal bio and servers and they plugged their own fanventure a ways upward in the channel. My discord username and mspfa username are completely different and there wasn't enough time by far between when I posted it and when they said that for them to click on it, click on my profile, click on my favorite fanventures, happen to select the correct one, and look at the comments, like it's an astronomically low chance. It was sburb.exe so I guess it wasn't the most obscure one it could've been so it's not out of the question that they saw it before, but like, how did they have it ready to copypaste? How did they know my discord and my mspfa are run by the same guy? The discord username is related to sburb.exe I guess and it's on the deadlock discord so maybe how many people are fans of both? But even if they did that yagami light ass deductive move how did they have it ready to copypaste and what's the fucking chance they were the only other person in that server at that time?

I waited until they got offline and deleted the "What" message so hopefully more people don't pull an fbi on me again because that message (correctly) implies I am the one that said that. Creator I'm sorry for badmouthing the deadlock reboot please don't kill me

[spookyscarydemonbabe]

Talking In Your Sleep

A/N- This was my most recent fic posted when my account got deleted 🥺 it’s another fic from my song fic list, and it’s a bit longer than the others, but i had so much fun writing this!!

Summary- Eddie lets you stay over at his place so you don’t have to go out in the storm, and while you’re sleeping he hears something strange. Something that sounds like his name…

Genre- Fluff

Warnings- Mentions of gore

Tag List- @imagine-all-the-imagines @hellfirewh0re @paola-carter @whiplaaaaaaaaash @ladyapplejackdnd @thatlonelypieceoftoast @efvyqrs

Words- 2.7k

You sighed as you looked out Eddie’s bedroom window. Pouring rain. More like a thunderstorm to be completely honest, but the wind and the darkness of the clouds made it seem like a hurricane.

“You don’t plan on driving home in that do you?” He asked you from his spot across the bed, his hair lazily tied back behind him as he took one last drag off of the joint the two of you had been passing for the last hour.

You had come over just for another one of your normal hang outs, smoke, talk, maybe watch a movie or two if there was time for it. But of course you forgot to check the weather before leaving the house and didn’t prepare at all for the storm. You groaned as you stood up, lifting the blinds a bit to get a better look outside. The rain was beating down hard on the window, the sky made everything look dark and grey and it was difficult to see even 10 feet in front of you.

“Yeah, i better not. I can always just wait it out though, right? How long is it supposed to rain for?”

“Pretty sure all night, you wanna just crash here tonight? It’s a lot safer, and a lot drier, if you wait until morning,” he looked at the black wristwatch he had on to check the time, “it’s getting kinda late anyways, almost 9:30.”

You jumped as the sky turned white with a crash of thunder. Storms were never something that scared you, but you couldn’t help it if the thunder and lightning caught you by surprise and made you slightly anxious. You turned back and made your way back to your spot next to him on his bed,

“You sure you don’t mind if i stay over?”

“Not at all,” he said with a smile, “pretty sure my uncle is doing an overnight at work so i’m sure he won’t mind.” He stood up and stretched his arms over his head, his t-shirt lifting up slightly around his torso, giving you a peek of his stomach and the trail of hair that stretched from his bellybutton to the waistband of the sweats he had on.

A gentle blush spread across your cheeks and you quickly looked away to hide it. The two of you had spent tons of time together, but you’d never spent the night at each other’s place before. The thought of it always made you a little curious though. After years of hanging out, being invited to come and watch their DnD sessions for Hellfire, and of course watching Corroded Coffin perform after he snuck you behind the stage at The Hideout, you couldn’t help but have a slow burning crush on the curly haired boy.

He was always so sweet with you, and it was pretty nice to have him be like your guard dog whenever you went out, scaring off other guys from trying to make a move on you. He was the first person to show you how to smoke, you helped him study any time he needed help with school, and overtime as you came to the trailer more and more you were noticing that his room was more put together than usual. Cleaner than you expected it to be.

You were always hoping that someday you’ll be able to be open and honest with him about your feelings, but the friendship you had meant too much for you to ruin with something as silly as having a crush. Recently, it’s gotten much worse than usual. He started appearing in your dreams.

It wasn’t anything abnormal, you’d always see people you knew in your dreams, that’s just how dreams work. But he was popping up more and more, and lately you’ve been having the same reoccurring dream each and every night for the last week.

It was cliché, you were a princess who needed to be saved from whatever fearsome monster your brain decided upon and Eddie was your knight. Every single night he would swoop in and rescue you, fighting off the monsters and sweeping you off your feet in his blood covered armor. But right as you were about to kiss him as a thanks for saving you, like clockwork, your eyes would open and it was morning. Of course you would wake up right before the best part.

But the thought of him coming to save you, his long hair flowing behind him as he fought off the monsters keeping you captive, his strong arms keeping you held tight as he swept you off your feet. God, the thought of him in a shiny suit of armor just made your heart flutter.

He looked around for some extra clothes for you to sleep in, picking up one of his old shirts off of the ground and a pair of oversized sweats from one of his drawers,

“Here, you can change into these. i’ll grab a pillow or something and sleep on the couch. My beds a lot comfier anyways, i’m sure you’d prefer it.” He said with a smile as he handed you the extra clothes, grabbing a pillow from his bed and stepping out into the hall.

As he left, you shut the door behind him, leaving it open just a crack as you pulled off your jeans and quickly changed into the sweats he gave you. They were definitely a bit bigger on you, but they hung comfortably around your waist as you tied up the string in front. You didn’t even notice Eddie peek into his room from the hall, a smirk on his lips as he watched you pull your shirt up over your head to change into the old band shirt he grabbed you. He finally spoke up as he saw you reach behind your back to undo the clasp on your bra,

“Need some help with that?” He said with a laugh, making you jump and cover your chest, rushing to shut his door.

“You pervert! We’re you watching me change?!” You yelled at him from behind the door, hearing him laugh from the other side.

“I was just coming back in to get a blanket, it’s your fault for not closing the door all the way.” You rolled your eyes as he kept laughing to himself, “Just finish changing so i can get it and we can go to sleep.”

You quickly changed into the shirt he gave you after slipping your bra off, tossing your clothes into a clear space on his floor. It was soft, and you couldn’t help but take a deep inhale as you slipped it over your head. It smelled like him. Musky, a little bit of weed, and just a hint of the lemongrass and eucalyptus incense he loved to burn after he smoked. You walked back over and opened his bedroom door, and giggled as he stood there with one hand over his eyes, peeking through his fingers,

“Are you decent?”

You smiled and pulled his hand away,

“I’m fine, you can look, just don’t be weird.”

He smiled as he watched you walk over to his bed, admiring how you looked in his clothes. Though it was just an old shirt and sweats, the fact that it was his clothes covering your figure made him feel… He wasn’t sure exactly how to put it into words, but it was definitely a good feeling, seeing a girl he admired wearing his clothes, about to climb into his bed. He’d be stupid not to try and sneak in next to you, holding you tight all night, the calming rain hitting his windows, giving your body a comforting squeeze each time the sound of the thunder and lightening crashed.

“Eddie, you’re staring.” You said with a giggle. He didn’t even realize he was staring as you climbed into his bed, pulling the covers over you.

“Sorry, just weird seeing someone else in my clothes.”

“Good weird, or bad weird?”

He shrugged, slipping his shirt over his head as he looked around his room for another blanket,

“Good weird i guess.”

The two of you smiled at one another, relishing in the comfortable silence of his bedroom as the rain splashed outside.

You heard another loud crash of thunder outside and jumped, gripping the covers in your hand as your eyes shot to the window, seeing the sky glow a quick white before going back to darkness. Eddie could see how nervous you were, gently shaking under the blankets.

“You want me to stay in here with you?” He asked, sitting at the edge of his bed.

You nodded silently, sitting yourself up and making some room for him next to you,

“Will you just stay in here with me until i fall asleep? You don’t have to if you don’t want to, if you get tied then-“

“I’ll stay.”

He quickly cut you off, assuring you that he’d stay as long as you needed him too. He smiled and climbed in next to you, keeping himself above the covers as you settled into his bed, resting your head onto his soft pillows with a yawn.

You turned onto your side and reached over to turn off the light, your body facing away from Eddie as he carefully lifted up the blanket on his side, making sure to give you some space. He’d give anything to be closer to you, but he didn’t want to do anything to make you uncomfortable.

You shut your eyes and tried your best to think up different scenarios to help yourself fall asleep but with Eddie being so close to you, in his bed, his scent surrounding you, all you could think of was the same dream you’ve been having.

This time it was a giant, fearsome dragon, keeping you hostage inside their cave. Your arms were tied behind your back, your dress torn, your face dirtied with mud and bits of dried blood from all the other knights who met their gruesome fate trying to rescue you. Just as the dragon was slowly making its way back towards you, it made a piercing scream, making you shut your eyes in fear. Peeking through your eyelids, you could see someone standing at the other end of the cave, sword and shield in hand as the dragon approached them. Another knight, here to rescue you and bring you back home, safe and sound. You had witnessed too many of them lose their lives from the merciless dragon. You shut your eyes, not wanting to watch another one of your saviors be gruesomely killed, but you could hear everything that was happening before you.

The dragons loud screeches, the sound of the knights sword clashing with the hard scales, his armor getting scratched and dented from the dragon fighting back. You had heard it too many times before, and you knew within seconds the knight would have his last breath as the dragon finished them off but with one last screech from the dragon and a loud thud, you slowly opened your eyes.

There he was, standing before you, the dragon bleeding from the large gash in its neck from the knight delivering his final strike. His armor was beat up and scratched, his face littered with specks of blood and dirt, his long curly hair had strands that were matted with blood, his chest was heaving as he tried to catch his breath.

He approached you and cut the ties around your wrists, your arms slung around his shoulders to bring him in for an embrace, one hand reaching to hold his cheek,

“Eddie…” You said quietly, the corners of your lips turning into a smile as his arms reached under your legs and behind your back, carrying you out of the cave and to his fearless destrier to bring you back to your castle.

As he carried you, all you could do was stare up in adoration at him for showing so much bravery and courage for rescuing you from peril. No one had been able to defeat the dreaded dragon that had kept you hostage, and yet he was able to do it so easily. He could keep you safe. He made you feel safe.

Once he was able to carry you back to his steed, he carefully set you down, keeping his arm around your waist as he helped you up, quickly grabbing hold of the reigns as he sat himself in front of you. You wrapped your arms around his torso and held him tightly, your head rested on his shoulder and the exhaustion from the whole ordeal finally hit you, your eyes slowly closing as you whispered,

“Thank you…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Eddie laid in bed, he rested his head on the pillow next to yours, trying his best to stay up as long as he could to make sure you were fast asleep before him.

He looked over at your still figure next to him, making little noises every now and then as you drifted off to sleep. He sighed and turned over with his back to you, trying to keep himself from wrapping his arms around your frame and holding you so close to him all night to comfort you from the thunder and lightning that had been frightening you. It was difficult, and it was frustrating, but it was what he had to do to keep from leading to an awkward morning.

He heard a few whimpers from you and shut his eyes to try and force himself asleep but he couldn’t do it, not with you so close to him. Just as he was about to give up and make himself pull an all nighter to try and keep from holding onto you, he heard his name softly escape your lips,

“Eddie…”

He sat up in bed, turning himself back to face you, but he didn’t notice that as you slept you had tossed and turned your body to his. You let out a few soft groans and whimpers, and he couldn’t tell if whatever dream you were having was sweet, or a nightmare. He gently placed his fingers onto your shoulder to check if you were awake,

“(y/n)?” He whispered, “You ok?”

You were fast asleep, and he figured out that you must’ve been talking in your sleep from whatever dream it was you were having. But why were you saying his name? Could you have been dreaming about him?

He laid himself back down next to you, facing your body and his eyes wandered over how peaceful your face looked as you slept. So sweet, so calm, so pretty. He watched your lips as you let out a few tiny whimpers and before he had the chance to move any closer to you, you slowly moved yourself forward and closed the gap between your bodies.

He was stiff laying there as your arms wrapped around him, holding onto him as you still slept, not knowing what your own actions were doing to him. As soon as he was certain you weren’t going to let go any time soon, he relaxed himself under your touch, his arms carefully moving around you to hold you gently, not wanting to wake or startle you.

Your touch was comforting to him, soft even as your head rested itself on his shoulder, your chest slowly moving as his hands slowly moved up and down your torso. His lips curled into a smile and his eyes slowly shut, a slow wave of exhaustion finally hitting him as the two of you laid there in one another’s arms. Just as he could feel the faintest bit of consciousness escape him, he heard you whisper once more,

“Thank you…”

He didn’t care if you were actually saying it to him, or whomever it was that you were talking to in your dream, but he knew deep down that you were thankful for everything he had done for you that night.

Letting you stay over, lending you his clothes to sleep in, offering his bed to you and staying with you to keep you comforted from the thunder and lightning as you slept next to him so peacefully.

The next morning was definitely going to be an awkward one, the two of you holding each other so close when the furthest you’ve come to snuggling was holding each other during a particularly terrifying movie. This time it was different. You were holding onto each other so delicately, almost lovingly, and he wouldn’t trade it for the world.

He placed a gentle kiss to the top of your head and whispered to you before succumbing to his slumber,

“Goodnight (y/n)…”

_______________________________________________

If you’d like to read more of my work, make sure to check out my masterlist 🥰

[my-child-is]

My Child is Neurotypical

So I made a few...dozen...posts on twitter about my experiences being neurodivergent. They’re a roughly 60/40 split between being autistic and having adhd with heavy overlap. They take the form of a parent in denial saying “My child is neurotypical” and the response of “Your child is X” where X is a common neurodivergent experience phrased as if coming from a teacher.

(I’ll be updating these as I make more)

Classroom

Your child was a pleasure to have in class

Your child can’t focus unless they’re playing with something

Your child has awful handwriting

Your child is tapping their foot through class

Your child just needs to apply themselves. They can clearly do the work but keep making silly mistakes

Your child had a breakdown over not getting all their homework done

Your child is quiet and struggling to stay on task

Your child thinks school was indistinguishable from torture but struggles without the structure

Your child needs outside structure or they can’t figure out what to do first

Sensory - Sound

Your child hears the CRT TV noise (double this if they hate it)

Your child needs to cover their ears any time you use a blender

Your child wants to know where that buzzing is coming from

Your child can tell if the fridge has been opened recently from the other room

Sensory - Touch

Your child can’t wear rough or slippery fabrics

Your child hates any texture beyond flannel (any other distinctive texture works too)

Your child hates tags on clothing

Your child overheats in thick socks

Your child wears sportswear but hates sports (@checkerfired1 on twitter)

Your child thinks water has a strange texture

Your child finds showering exhausting but also doesn’t want to get out at the end

Your child can’t stand the feeling of oil on their skin

Sensory - Light

Your child sat in the dark from noon til sunset before starting their day

Your child thinks sunlight is ‘too much’

Memory

Your child forgot they were hungry halfway through making dinner

Your child has had midnight new years pass by because they forgot to wait for it

Your child can’t keep a grasp on time

Your child is confused about how it’s already evening

Your child has over 50 tabs open in chrome

Your child can only ‘wing it’ because they always forget what they planned to say

Your child made a list of what they needed to do and forgot to check it

Your child came up with a ‘my child is neurotypical’ post but forgot

Stimulation

Your child can’t focus without background music

Your child thinks everybody is exhausted after conversations

Your child drinking caffeine is like a roulette wheel in its effects

Your child struggles thinking while seated

Your child likes to constantly be chewing on something

Your child finds crowds overwhelming

Your child finds existing at night less exhausting

Sleep

Your child is reading this in the middle of the night

All of your child’s friends live on the opposite side of the world because they can’t maintain a traditional sleep schedule

Your child had midnight new years pass by because they’re normally awake well past then even as an adult

Your child has trouble quieting their brain to sleep

Dyspraxia

Your child is extremely klutzy

Your child’s phone typing is riddled with typos

Empathy

Your child felt guilty for bumping into the table

Your child is painfully uncomfortable watching shows with awkward situations

Your child cries even thinking about somebody being in pain

Your child is extremely trusting with new people they just met

Emotions

Your child has lots of mood swings

Your child hates compliments because they’re sure they’ll disappoint and alienate anyone who thinks anything good about them (from @MaebyIsSweet on twitter)

Sharing

Your child shares extremely personal experiences with people they just met

Your child can talk for hours about the same subject without getting tired

Communication

Your child learned nonverbal communication from the family dog/cat

Your child gets frustrated because people can’t understand them

Your child has been discussing the same topic for 30 minutes without taking a break to breath

Your child tends to speak repetitively - they may feel somewhat scripted

Your child feels like an alien sent to observe humans

Your child cries when instructions aren’t clear enough

Your child communes with animals because they make more sense than people

Your child doesn’t see the point of small talk

Your child finds comfort in the scriptedness of small talk

Your child is anxious about misreading people’s intentions

Your child is anxious about contacting somebody because they think it’s too last second

Your child gets frustrated when instruction manuals skip steps

Your child is constantly anxious about misunderstanding

Your child needs subtitles to hear anything

Your child has times they struggle to make words

Consistency (Anxiety)

Your child asks for the same meal every time they come home

Your child watched a single movie more than 3 times in one day

Your child feels anxious watching new movies or tv shows

Your child nearly has a stress breakdown if plans change last second

Your child’s anxiety spikes every time you ask them a question

Your child has a favourite song they’ve listened to for a week straight

Your child finds split second decision making stressful

Your child gets anxious if they don’t exactly follow their daily routine

Masking

Your child can pick up accents easily

Your child grew up wishing they could just go live in the forest away from people

Your child gets anxious when you ask aabout their day

Your child emotionally relates to fictional characters more than real people

Your child has said ‘I just don’t have the energy to act human right now’

Your child has described people as ‘just too much’

Your child was so ashamed of being different they tried to reshape their personality so people would like them

Misc ones I haven’t really sorted yet

Your child is protective and doesn’t like anybody new coming into their room

Your child wishes it was easier to get up and do what they need to

Your child is confused by how other people relate to their gender

Your child thinks their functioning is an inconvenience to people

Your child is either ‘on’ or ‘off’ and there is no in between

Your child gets stuck in excitement feedback loops with their friends

Your child is convinced they just aren’t working hard enough

Your child is on their third hobby this week

Your child spaces out randomly during the day

Your child considers every step of getting dressed an individual task they have to do (from @sisi7304 on twitter)

Your child differentiates between food they like and food they think is good (@sweetmoonpigeon on twitter)

Your child has severe imposter syndrome about whether they’re neurodivergent ‘enough’

Your child isn’t sure what they’re supposed to do to be a man or a woman

Your child’s fingers and toes change colour in the cold