#i neverwill be
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Itfeels like it wss really easy for you to replace me sometimes
#im jsut.scared#whos goingnyobe the next honeybee#why srent i good enough#i know im not pretty. i know im not talented. or much of anhthing#but it still hurts#it felt liekyou picked others overme and i just#if you knew i was struggling why didnt you say anhthign#i wouldnt have just let you go on that way! i dont knoe#it hurts so badly it makes me feel like you didnt love me#and now i feel like being with me is just shameful#like you even having to be with me must be a huge burden. idont know#i feel unfsir. i shouldnt complainthis way#but i cant know you love me if you donttell me in certain ways#i dontknow#its my fsult#if i was better id be easier to love#but im not#i neverwill be#i justwish someone would pick Me#I want to be picked firs.ti want someone t o look at me
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girl who's realising to develop social connections you have to actually talk to people
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i know it probably ain’t impressive but it feels GOOD to start reading regularly again. i only read 4 books last year and i am still proud of myself for that, but i’m reading regularly now. i am up to 6 books this year, counting the one i am on now. it rules
#Psy's no punctuation posts#reading is so fun i missed it#it's time to start believing in myself to do hobbies as i said#right now reading Fairy Bargains of Prospect Hill and i really like it#i like historical fiction type things- and it has fantasy intermixed with real life settings which i love#i am not a high fantasy man i just like the real world w some fantasy on the side.#tis fun#though i want to read Priory of the Orange Tree eventually-#maybe when i get through my backlog a bit#though i neverwill at that rate i've already placed another book on hold at work smh#gonna read Frankenstein in Baghdad after Fairy Bargains and East of Eden it just sounded SO interesting
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mywhole family is against me....they r all HATERRRRSSS!!!!!!!!!
#i have so much to rant abt but. Im tired#and this isnt my diary#i dont have a diary and i neverwill#itd be ripped to shreds whenever i feel an ounce of negative emotion#nonsense speak
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(,:
#don’t think ive ever been this heaetbeoken ever LMFAODHDJDJ#and it sucks because. i equally qant it to be over because its just. soul crushing and exhausging and im so sad all the time and it just won#wont go away and im so. so tired i hate being so. hopeless and vampiric and blank i hate what i am and have been and am becoming#and also cause i feel like if i cant. manage this or make the best of it or like. i feel like i am gping to lose eveeything HDJDHDH#ill lose the opportunity to stay friends. and ill also become too much of an energyvampire to keep my friwndsaround. and i wont be able to#make new ones. and i wont be motivated enough to do well for familys sake. like i canfeel myself#steppinginto every trap my beain sets for itself and theway ive been has been. like im just#so so so so disappointed in myself. im so disappointedin myself foe the way im handling all of this. im so disappointed#but at thesame time i know whyand i knlw its becahse everyrhing feels like its coveredin melting metaland everythign stings and burns n hurt#but i’m just. like i feel. i’m just disappointed by myself so severely HDDJDH i feel like a monster#and ive been trying so hard but all it does is get worse. its been weeks and all it does is vet worseand worse and i dontknow if i can do it#neg#mano.mindtalk#like i wannado good i wanna do so mich goodbit i jist cant get myselftp a spot where im capablepf it#and im so svaredand so convinced i neverwill like im just not. o dont have itin me. i cant#i jusydon t know what to do
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Hey, you were the one that called me bitch anon in the first place! I bet Dream early on could never have imagined becoming the person he is now, either. He was stubborn like you, funny, he cared, and then he changed with power. Now look at him. See how happy he is?
It’s nowhere near too late for you to end up the same way as him, Tommy! Who’s to say that you won’t, hmm?
OH MY PRIME FUCK OFF HOLY SHIT I WILLNEVER EDN UP LLIKE DREAM FUKC YUO I AM NOTHIGN LIKE HIM ADN NEVERWILL BE
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imiss her . thingswill never be the same. ill never wake up andlog onto aj and talk to her again . we will talk but it neverwill bethe same and i dont know if i can bare to move on
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guy i know whom i told about all the stuff regarding jk rowling and the new wizard game and he still bought it and keeps telling me about it. i dont care about your hogwrtz house never have neverwill
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PLEASE im begging you to do something with billy being submissive and the reader edging/overstimming him and maybe possibly having a slight mommy kink 🙏 this inspired me im on my hands and knees rn
I will do my best, he's such a difficult character to write for in this sense but it is okay😂
He looks so fuckable like this, hair matted to his forehead, lip tucked between his teeth to conceal all of the breathy moans that want so desperately to escape, the twitching of his hips as my hand slows around his cock, aching for any type of attention.
It's rare that I can ever get him to sit back and let me do the work, his mind constantly in an alpha-male state in which he controls every situation, sexual or plain old romantic. But tonight, for some odd reason, he's all mine.
"C'mon, you always tell me what to do and now you're telling me you've got nothing to say?" I tease, dragging my lips along the underside of his cock, feeling the vein pulse beneath his skin. He just grumbles in annoyance, bucking up into my hand and his eyes flicker down to look at me, his dark hues needy and pathetic.
"I'm not begging." He mutters, gasping as my thumb brushes over his sensitive tip, oozing precum in desperate arousal. I just grin wickedly and pull my hand away from him, the move having him immediately sitting up to rest on his elbows, a terrified look passing across his handsome face.
"Then you're not cumming." His lips part in shock and his brows furrow, his gaze following my hands as I tap my fingers against his hip bones. "If you want me to take care of you like you so desperately want me to, then you have to use your big boy words." His jaw grits at my teasing and my mocking tone has his cheeks flushing but I know that it's just the right thing to say to get him rilled up.
The room quiets as I wait, my brows raised expectantly at him as he struggles to put the words together. I know how conflicting this is for him, his more submissive side being a complete and utter mindfuck but his heart wants nothing more than to give in. He just needs a bit of a push.
"Please." His voice cracks a bit, my smile only growing as he falls back onto the bed, arms finally giving out on him as I press a lingering kiss to his tip, his cock twitching a bit at the affection.
"Please, what?" I ask, blowing gently on his heated skin and he lets out an audible whine, finally giving me what I want.
"Take care of me." He asks, eyes locking with mine and I nod, wrapping my fingers around him once more to pump him slowly and steadily, loving the way his head bobs in gratitude, a small smile spreading across his lips.
"That's all you want, hmm? To be taken care of?" He just nods at my rhetorical question because we both know it's true, that, even though he's tough and egotistical, he wants nothing more than someone to take over so he can let go for a bit.
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex–awesome–22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane2828 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi @crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @rafecameronswhore @ariianelle @write-from-the-heart @vampviolets@haylee-e@popehaywardssecretgf @honee-chai-tea @lokiandbuckywife @smoke-and-fire @officiallyunofficialperson@heyaitsklaudia@rosepetalsparks @bluetreecloud20 @scenesofobx @double-shot-of-tequila @1dluver13xx @colbysbrocks @iamasimpingh0e @smoke-and-fire386 @loveshineslikethesky @id-3-kbro @diorsitgirl @errorfound101-allideasburnedout @neverwillknowme18 @ellyskey @taylors-folk @loversjoy @myaloveee @thyris-is @lagataprrr @aaaaslaaaan @minjix @luvrosee
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‘His one and only love’ i’m going to go cry in a corner now thanks. their love story is so beautiful yet so tragic and it’s breaking my heaaaaaart. or could it be bc it ended in tragedy which is why we can appreciate the beauty of it more?? idk i’m babbling but i just, Cassie & Percy’s relationship has been looming over us since chapter 1 and it’s like, the more we know about it the more beautiful they seemed to be together and how in love they truly were before tragedy struck and it’s just, so heartbreaking bc they’re ending is so so definite bc Cassie is no longer in the picture anymore and just. ugh…..Pain™️
‘Probably Lavinia.’yeah bc your daughter who has never met your sister or interacted with her until this wedding……sure, she definitely got her restlessness from her aunt sksksks. i feel like Percy was restless when he was younger, but just…had to “grow up” bc of his shitty parents or was “disciplined” to behave and “act like a future duke” so he thinks Cherie got it from someone else bc he doesn’t remember being that restless bc it’s like, he was forcing himself not to be or had to be “corrected” (i hate that word so much but it happens a lot with kids) when he would fidget or bounce around. so when he grew up, he lost that energetic side. could be selective memory bc of trauma or strict parents? i mean i’m not an expert so who knows. i mean it works with Cassie too but at least she was energetic to people she cared about. Percy seems so closed off and calm towards everyone even his children, and i feel like his upbringing has something to do with that. especially in a society where men being vulnerable is so looked down upon. what more to a future duke?
okay, i just––PERCY REMINISCING ABOUT BABY ELIAS AND HOW CHERIE IS THE SAME ABOUT SEEKING APPROVAL FROM THEIR PARENTS WHEN THEY’VE DONE SOMETHING GOOD AND JUST WANT THAT STICKER OR THE GOLD STAR. stop that was so…it just solidified how both of them are their parents’ children in anyway shape or form. but it hurts knowing how Percy never got to see baby Cherie do that or Cassie see baby Elias do that WHOEVER STARTED THAT RUMOR NEEDS TO GET TOSSED IN THE THAMES AND GET EATEN BY THE FISH THERE. anyways i’m just so sad that we never got to see them be a happy and complete family and it so painful to think that we neverwill bc everything is already too late and i’m just……Pain 2.0™️
hmm, i wonder what prompted Cherie not to tell the duke about Anthony’s proposal. could it be she senses how much he dislikes him and just doesn’t want to cause trouble? or she doesn’t want him to know howit happened a.k.a. in The Maze™️ Under The Rain™️ At Night™️ Unchaperoned™️ a.k.a. the perfect recipe to warrant a duel for both Percy AND Elias?? but she can leave the detail out tho. soooooo could it be a sense of trying to protect Anthony in a way bc she’s seeing how he’s changing for the better?? or it can be an unconscious thing that she doesn’t want Percy to think awful of him bc she cares about Anthony and she loves him?? all these questions i swear sksksks
“I mean I still know her better,” i still don’t quite agree with this tbh bc hmm, my point the other time still stands but another argument is that, you know how we act different towards our parents compared to our friends and how different we too act with our partners and vice versa to all? i mean it’s different for everyone of course and it depends how close you are with your parents but i feel like that’s a factor here. in Cassie’s case, she would act different to her lover/husband compared to how she would to her daughter in a way. with Percy, she can be more open, share her deepest and darkest thoughts/moments and how she perceives the world without filter or whatnot, problems, grievances, childhood trauma, etc. whereas with Cherie, she would hold back on those things to protect her in a way bc her daughter doesn’t need to know about those things. especially when she wanted Cherie to live a happy blissful life and make that possible as much as she could, and well, Cherie being so in love with love proves that. so Cassie wouldn’t complain to Cherie about things or dump her problems/trauma on her compared to with Percy. and i feel like you can truly know a person with how they deal with those things or what they’re thoughts are with deeper or darker conversations. like i said before, they both knew Cassie in different moments in time, not to mention, different version too, but that doesn’t mean one knows her better than the other.
my man has been hurting for 20+ years and he will continue to for the rest of his days. i feel like if he gets close to Cherie it will compensate some of that pain but still, it’s never quite the same. bc he might have gotten back his daughter again, but he still lost the love of his life……ugh Pain 3.0™️
“I was not wrong in telling you not to make my decisions for me, and I’m still behind it,” this i wholeheartedly agree with. she should be the one making decision for herself all throughout. bc it is her life and she should live it how she should.
omg…..the simple fact that neither him nor Cassie ever apologised whenever an argument would arise and they just move on without talking it out??? yeah….it was was bound to blow up at some point. they probably thought if they just…..forgot about it, it would just disappear. but the thing with that is, it never does. it just sits in the back of their heads and when another argument will arise, it will resurface thus building up that anger so with every argument it would just become bigger bc it just keeps piling and piling and sigh. i feel like when that rumor mill hit, the jar was close to full already and for something that big to happen, it’s not surprising for that jar to actually break. like it didn’t spill over, it genuinely exploded. i guess that’s another difference between Cassie & Percy and Anthony & Cherie and why the latter is turning out better bc, well, at least the younger couple are open to apologizing and being better and righting wrongs. they still need to work on the Communication Department™️ but they’re getting there.
hi yes hello, idk if i’m just extra emotional today but that scene of them under thee stars…my heart is ACHING™️ BREAKING ™️ HURTING™️ i just……and she was pregnant with baby Elias as well :((((( “And about the argument earlier—” // “Let’s not.” I JUST NOOOO. TALK. COMMUNICATION™️ !!! sigh. they’re being so cute and sweet tho and i can’t deal with this bc it’s in Italics™️ which solidifies that it’s the past and cannot happen again in the futureeeee AH PAIN 4.0™️ !!!!!
“They will be themselves without anyone sabotaging it, without anyone forcing them to grow an armor just to keep their hearts safe. They will be just…free.”and this is why Elias and Cherie share similarities with their parents, but never quite the same. just like how Anthony pointed out last chapter and how Percy is realising this now. but pls, them slightly joking around now makes my heart melt. i feel like they would get along so so so well and would have the sweetest bond and ugh. slow and steady. HELP PERCY FORGETTING HIS SISTER IS COMING TO LONDON WITH THEM SKSKSKSK it’s like he’s actively trying to ignore his big sister bc he knows she will just intentionally (affectionately) annoy him. he’s such a little brother omg.
“No,” she said. “No one at all.” she said, you know, like liar sksksks. “Especially not Lord Bridgerton.” …….Sure, Jan 2.0™️ let’s see how that goes now that we’re going back to London. but omg, i feel like the first day back in London will be absolute chaos as Percy so begrudgingly pointed out. i am hoping Anthony has learned his lesson of Self Control™️ quite well now and can like….be calm (i doubt it) and chill (i highly doubt it) when he’s around Cherie. bc i’m honestly so worried bc Cece won’t be there for a week to supervised sksksksk (tbh i was hoping for their honeymoon to be longer bc it’s what Celias deserves after dealing with this Shit Show™️ for five weeks and they need that break to rejuvenate and recharge before going back to deal with the Shit Show™️ again sksksks) but lord, idk if this Obsessed Harlot™️ can control himself for that long especially with all the suitors oh my goooooood the Jealousy, Jealousy™️ aaaah STAY STRONG ANTHONY FT. LAST REMAINING BRAINCELL FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY. KEEP THAT KNEE TIGHT AND DON’T BEND IT YET PUHLEASE
oh god this turned out longer than i expected. this was such a lovely yet heartbreaking extra scene but i loved it omg. i reallly enjoyed getting to see Percival’s perspective on things. he’s so complex and it just makes me more curios as to what happened between him and Cassie aah can’t wait for more!! amazing as always and i hope you’re having a lovely day!!
– TM Anon™️
Omg darliiiing hi! ❤❤
Yessss exactly! ❤ Their love story ended in tragedy and I think they burned very bright when they were together, they had so much passion and that was kind of their downfall💔
I think up until her death, Percy still thought someday somehow they would be together 💔
Oooh that’s a wonderful idea! 😱 Percy’s father was terrible, so he would probably not let him fidget or run around 💔
i mean it works with Cassie too but at least she was energetic to people she cared about. Percy seems so closed off and calm towards everyone even his children, and i feel like his upbringing has something to do with that. Absolutely! ❤ Both Cassie and Percy had different upbringings but their parents were horrible, and Percy was probably forced to always hide his feelings around people ❤
Elias and Cherie are so similar on some things, and seeking approval is one of them! ❤ I think Cassie saw it up to a point with Elias but Percy didn’t see it with Cherie up until now 💔
Anthony’s business proposal 😂
could it be a sense of trying to protect Anthony in a way bc she’s seeing how he’s changing for the better?? or it can be an unconscious thing that she doesn’t want Percy to think awful of him bc she cares about Anthony and she loves him??
I think it’s both! ❤ She doesn’t do it intentionally, but she still wants Percy to like Anthony or at least approve of him, and she can see how Anthony is changing for the better, and she is still very much in love with him❤
with Percy, she can be more open, share her deepest and darkest thoughts/moments and how she perceives the world without filter or whatnot, problems, grievances, childhood trauma, etc. whereas with Cherie, she would hold back on those things to protect her in a way bc her daughter doesn’t need to know about those things. especially when she wanted Cherie to live a happy blissful life and make that possible as much as she could, and well, Cherie being so in love with love proves that. DEFINITELY! 😱😍
Cassie made sure Cherie would never feel like her opinions didn’t matter, she made sure she never knew pain back in Paris❤ Cherie doesn’t know about Cassie’s time in London while Percy has no idea about Cassie’s time in Paris 💔
I don’t think Percy can ever be completely happy without Cassie to be honest 💔
i guess that’s another difference between Cassie & Percy and Anthony & Cherie and why the latter is turning out better bc, well, at least the younger couple are open to apologizing and being better and righting wrongs. they still need to work on the Communication Department™ but they’re getting there.
THIS! THIS!
I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS ABOUT THIS YES! 😱😍❤
So Cassie&Percy and Anthony&Cherie have a lot of parallels but just like you said, the latter is turning out better because of this! ❤ Both Cassie and Percy refused to apologize or talk about what was wrong, or what hurt them, because they were both raised to hide their hurt but Anthony and Cherie? Cherie is always very, very verbal about what hurts her, she actually says that to Anthony, and she never tried to hide what she felt, good or bad ❤ And Anthony is apologizing, he is trying to talk about what’s wrong, and from the beginning he was giving her explanations for what happened back at the opera, he is trying to build the bridges instead of acting like everything is alright ❤ Especially now, he’s following her lead while making sure things between them are getting better, that they can have an open communication for when she’s ready to talk about what happened with the proposal and everything else ❤
Percy and Cassie had terrible communication skills for sure 💔 That was one of the biggest problems they had 💔
this is why Elias and Cherie share similarities with their parents, but never quite the same. just like how Anthony pointed out last chapter and how Percy is realising this now.
Yesssss! Second generation has a lot of parallels to the first generation but they’re also learning how to fix their mistakes ❤
i am hoping Anthony has learned his lesson of Self Control™ quite well now and can like....be calm (i doubt it) and chill (i highly doubt it) when he's around Cherie This is hilarious omg 😂
Obsessed Harlot™ I AM SCREAMING-
Darling, I can’t thank you enough for this, you’re absolutely amazing! ❤❤ You’ve made my day, ILYSM! ❤❤❤
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“Let the good times roll... Let the stories be told, they can say what they want...let the good times roll, won’t you let the good times roll.” . . . . . P.s if you know where that caption came from, i like your taste in music. Enjoy the photo! 😎 🎸 #raw #rawpapers #rawlife #ocean #beach #sunset #blackandwhite #color #photographer #videosoon #justwait #keepgoing #neverstop #neverwill #behappy #enjoythejourney #littlethings https://www.instagram.com/p/BwrqAArH5y2/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=xgc9g7enrns5
#raw#rawpapers#rawlife#ocean#beach#sunset#blackandwhite#color#photographer#videosoon#justwait#keepgoing#neverstop#neverwill#behappy#enjoythejourney#littlethings
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See Me
I’ve waited so longfor you to SEE me.Because I’ve alwaysBeen right here.I’ve loved you fromThe very start. Even when the painWas too much to bear.Even after the sleeplessNights and the tear soakedPillows. I loved you withoutAny regard to myselfI loved you completely. But I fear you neverWill see me.Please let me go,So that I can see myself again. But I fear you never will.Just let me go,So I…
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#creative writing#love#poem#poems#poet#Poetry#poetry community#poetryisnotdead#poets#spilledink#writer#writers#Writing#writing community
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Three things I wanted to share with y'all, Peoprazzo ... 1. Proving-Goals, DON'T even: Do not set yourself for a poisonous self-sabotage by creating goals with an intention to prove to others that you are 'capable' of achieving them. That's self-hate and socially constructed poison that tells us, goals are about proving your worth to other. No, they are not. They must never be. Your goals should be for YOUR satisfaction and excitement, and not that of others. 2. Self-Reducing Thoughts: Stop making the actions, reactions and lack there of, of others about something lacking in you! Their actions, reactions and lack thereof is about them and them only. You are NOT responsible for their choices. They are responding from their space and experience and not yours. Stop hating, judging, blaming and questioning yourself for their lackadaisical presence and decisions. 3. Don't celebrate with doubt: Our traumas, social constructs, social brainwashing train us to doubt everything good when it's happening for us. All of the above tell us, "this won't last" and we forget to celebrate even when its happening. We shortchange ourselves of the joys we are experiencing in the moment right now. Stop listening to constructs, brainwashing and fears. Celebrate the NOW! .. I'll podcast about this and will also write a few columns so stay tuned on my website https://szebastianonne.com/intention/ . Are you experiencing any of the above? Talk to me! . . xoyox - Szebastian PS: I am here because I care, and because I give a damn! . . . . #INTENTION#NEVERwill #Perfection #NotPerfect #BeYou #LGBT #GLBT #Pride #GayCommunity #GayPride #GayGuys #GayDating #SameSame #NoH8#GayIsOkay #NonBinary #GenderFluid #Fluid #Equality #EqualLove #MarriageEquality #Coaching #Fitness #Fashion #Style #MensStyle #MensHair #Trend #Podcast #SelfDoubt https://www.instagram.com/p/CL9Ja2GlZ0q/?igshid=1hk4oaydc2jau
#intention#neverwill#perfection#notperfect#beyou#lgbt#glbt#pride#gaycommunity#gaypride#gayguys#gaydating#samesame#noh8#gayisokay#nonbinary#genderfluid#fluid#equality#equallove#marriageequality#coaching#fitness#fashion#style#mensstyle#menshair#trend#podcast#selfdoubt
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I got really bummed about politics yesterday. Then I remembered...it’s not in my hands. Oh, imma #vote and while it sometimes seems futile, nothing is too small to count when God is in control. Praying that no matter the outcome, good people keep doing the next right thing. One step at a time, injustices fall in front of our God. People are healed, relationships are restored, the persecuted rise and wrongs are righted. Maybe not the way I want. Maybe not in my timeframe. But if I believe my God is able and I believe my God is willing, even if I can’t see what He’s doing, I will still believe. #neverlostabattle #neverwill (at Moore, Oklahoma) https://www.instagram.com/p/CFApxaehsAA/?igshid=1ff0fe6xd2axe
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We will mourn this young king but we will NEVER walk in fear of racist assholes. Let’s get that all the way straight for all you assholes taking joy in watching that video of coming up with reasons why that child was killed. We will all be walking in his honor this afternoon but don’t EVER mistake the grief for fear. I’m from the same state and I know what happens there that’s reported (and so much that isn’t) but we aren’t walking around scared of these assholes AT ALL. #AhmaudArbery #WeDontFearYou #NeverHave #NeverWill https://www.instagram.com/p/B_5QRHkghrGUxHRmWmL4ARZJI58kFvRVPXRQ2M0/?igshid=9ujzwtzp14pt
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I just wanted to make sure I made this ABSOLUTELY clear. I am so disgusted and I'm over it. So just remember, "I don't give a fuck even harder" 👌 ✌️����😁 . . . . . . #fuckoff #smallcircle #wallsup #fucktoxicpeople #mylife #mychoice #myrules #peepthisprofile #youknowwhoyouare #boringaf #loyaltyiseverything #wedontneedyou #neverwill #goodbyedrama #dramafree https://www.instagram.com/p/B5O8ETPpEfP/?igshid=apu1ocfhx5sl
#fuckoff#smallcircle#wallsup#fucktoxicpeople#mylife#mychoice#myrules#peepthisprofile#youknowwhoyouare#boringaf#loyaltyiseverything#wedontneedyou#neverwill#goodbyedrama#dramafree
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