#i never thought id get used to it but i did

[boysbeware2]

all the old tptm girl journal entries w the new (if anyone wants to see them again and compare them)

please proceed with caution as many of these could be upsetting to read

disposable girl (jordyn)

(old)

i cant fucking stand this. i try so goddamn hard to make friends, to be attractive to people, to be even somewhat appealing to them etc etc. it never works. i thought it would get better the older i get. thats what i was told. guess what! i was fucking lied to!!! im alwasy left out of EVERYTHING i never get invited to shit and my own friends ignore me all the time. everyone looks at me weird. i cant go in public anymore im so fucking terrified of everyone. nobody fuckinf wants me, man. im so close to doing something stupid i feel so gross and ugly and dumb i should actually just die id be doing everyone a favor LOL

(new)

man, i havent been on here in forever. the internet is kind of dumb. what is there to say? my friend group celebrated our outpatient graduation anniversary the other day, that was pretty nice. we’re all trying to figure out housing stuff, nora’s been helping with that. freyja + mayra + kairi found a place already (how are they so responsible??) and the rest of us are trying to find places near them so we can visit more often. i never expected to have such a big group of friends. if you told me 2 years ago that i’d be living like this, i wouldn’t believe you. it’s still surreal to me. i’m not sure what i did to deserve them. same goes for my girlfriends. i don’t wanna say who just yet, we’re still figuring things out, but i’m just so thankful for them. i feel so lucky to have a second chance at life. i really didn’t believe people when they said it would get better, and then it did. how funny…..

irreverent girl (kairi)

(old)

I do not want God to see me anymore. I do not want anymore eyes on me. This is near unbearable. I have no one to turn to. My mother is in the church. Many of my friends are in the church. They would tell me to find hope through Christ. They would tell me to pray to Him. They would tell me that He will save me. He must not remember He made me, and if He does, He simply does not care. I know this is unbecoming of me, and I don't mean to be dramatic. I am simply depressed, nervous, and I cannot tell what's real and what isn't anymore. I know I'm supposed to hear God speaking to me, but I do not, and I am tired of straining my ears. I just want to see a doctor. I want some kind of tangible solution. I do not want to pray anymore. Praying hurts. I only do it when I am afraid, but I am afraid much of the time. I don't want to be unheard anymore. I do not want to hold out hope for someone who does not act like they're there. I am hurting. I am hurting. I am hurting. Belief is hurting me. The idea of God is hurting me. I need an out. I am hurting.

(new)

When I have a job and money and I can move away from my shitty Mormon parents

splitter girl (tahira)

(old)

theres something so broken in me thats beyond saving. so i dont know why i keep trying to be saved. i meant to kill myself when i was 18. i didnt. all ive wanted to do lately is kill someone or something. i havent. im too much of a pussy to plan anything concrete, no matter how much i hate everyone around me. no matter how much i get off to videos of people dying or how much i love cutting myself i cant actually take action against other people. i am fucking purposeless. i was born from evil and i will always be evil and i cant even live up to that. i hate myself i hate myself i HATE myself and the universe hates me too. i dont know what to fucking do at this point. i talked to one of my friends about wantingto die and they said smthn about hospitalizing myself. maybe. i dunno. i dont know what else there is for me/. my eyes are fucking burning from lookign at my computer for so long adn not getting any goddamn sleep. i am not a good person. i dont think i can be helped but i just dont wanna fucking keep goign to school and being around people and pretending like everything is norma;l. i cant keep doing it. what the fuck is wrong with me whagt happened. why cant i be loved or feel love for other people when did something change in me that switched the aggression and affection parts of my brain. im hyperventilating ill be back. maybe

(new)

getting myself onigiri from this one good boba place 2nite bc im 8 months clean…… its the little things~ ^^

fainéant girl (freyja)

(old)

i know i dont hate being disabled... i just hate being disabled in a society that makes existing difficult... but sometimes i really just dont want to be disabled anymore. i dont want my family to lecture me about how i could be helping out more, or how i should get a job. i dont want teachers to keep asking me whats wrong or the fuckin uni counselor to try to get me hospitalized. i dont want to be in so much pain anymore, to feel so exhausted that i cant even do so much as prepare food for myself, let alone do anything meaningful or fulfilling. its not fair. i shouldnt have to stay inside and sit in the dark all day,. i should be able to have friends. to talk to people and to go out with them and to feel like i am alive. its lonely and traumatic to suffer through this and on top of that no one around me understands, and they never fully will. i am tired of trying to justify my existence to everyone, to explain the pain that i am in and why i shouldnt have to experience it. i know the problem isnt me. i know i live in a world that isnt built for me. but if the world cant change then sometimes i truly feel that i should just stop living in it. my lifespan is already shorter than everyone else's anyways. what difference does it make

(new)

my qpps didnt seem to appreciate me playing Alien Kids Alien Rap for them. Do they even love me

caliber girl (nora)

(old)

唉～It is 3 AM and I should go to sleep but I can’t. I have a work zoom meeting early in the morning and I gotta hit the gym also because I haven’t done leg day in like… weeks. Oh well, it doesn’t even matter. My value is depleting but I don’t think I care anymore. The turnaround date for my code is also in a couple of days and I haven’t made any progress. I keep getting the same error and I’m too tired to figure out what’s wrong. I might get fired at this rate LOL(笑). If that happens, I think I’ll just consider ending it all. Not that anybody will miss me. God I sound so weak and pathetic right now. When did it get like this. How did it get like this. I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’ve been through worse before and this is nothing. Ugh, why is it so hard to breathe? My chest hurts and I feel like something is wrong but I don’t know how to make it go away. Should I call someone about this? No. No one is awake or around to help. I’ll be fine. I’ll just sleep it off. Shake it off… shake it off…

(new)

My Tamagotchi beeped during a meeting fml

chocolate box girl (morgan)

(old)

i thought i was doing better but i cant stop thinking about them. their touch, their interests, their smile, everything. the worst part is that i miss them, after all of what they've done to me. i was 13. i dont even feel justified calling it rape since our relationship was so muddy... they never yelled at me or was angry at me, they just got so sad when i tried to speak my mind, and got all my friends to hate me when we finally broke up. i never said no so i feel like im insulting actual survivors by feeling violated. i wasnt even trying to get into a relationship with them, it just happened... i feel like everyone around me wants me in the same way they did, even though im an adult now and i dont even try to make myself appealing. i wish i could trust people not to take advantage of me, and i feel disgusting and selfish for feeling like everyone has ulterior motives of getting me to fall in love with them, or worse. that's so self centered of me. i dont know how long i can keep doing this

(new)

girl help i cant stop looking at anime figures on japan yahoo auctions !!!!!

taxidermy girl (mayra)

(old)

I don't remember ever not having a sex drive, is that normal ? I was born and then it was all downhill from there, something happened to me sexually i think, I don't know what happened, because I don't remember much, but something happened and I was beaten for it and yelled at and my mother hated me, and now I am an adult and I try to have sex, and I'm not there mentally, even if my body is participating, I feel like I am in the past again, being beaten and yelled at . I want to keep trying, I want to have fun, to feel safe in someone else's arms, to reach the heights of pleasure, but my mind scares me so much, I haven't been able to eat anything today because I feel so horrified by my body . If I was good I would have been born as a nonsexual being, no parts, no desires, no instincts, a blank slate, too empty to be enjoyed . Do you know what it feels like, to have your mother tell you people want to sexually abuse you when you are a child, and then to be made fun of by your peers for being so ugly, to have your middle school and high school classmates joke about how much they don't want to have sex with you ? I am illicit and undesirable at the same time, I am everyone's last option, I am nothing and still too much, rotting deer meat on the side of the road . I wish I had been born as something beautiful and pure, I wish I could start over, that whatever that initial sin was had never been committed .. I want to start over

(new)

Went to a kink event the other night and everyone was so nice … The low lights were fucking with my vision so one of the hosts helped me navigate the place . I ❤️ you random disabled ally with a pup mask on

chemical girl (joy)

(old)

LMAOOOOO im too angry and miserable to be around. i think i just need to give up at this point because theres clearly like. something broken inside me that cant be fixed. that has 2 be it because i try to talk and i just sound cold, i try to make a joke and it comes out overly edgy and unfunny, i try to be like everyone else but its too much. i cant even be a collection of the positive traits i see in others, i try to replicate it and it comes out warped and wrong. im either fucking enraged or in abject misery or way too happy and nobody can keep up with me. the thing is i dont even blame them. i wouldnt want to be around me either. do u know what thats like? being someone you wouldnt want to know? i keep hoping that one day ill wake up and suddenly be normal, the mood swings will be gone and everyone will like me and i wont do stupid shit that pisses them off. but i know that day isnt coming. theres no hope for me and i want to say sorry to everyone who has ever had the misfortune of knowing me but i know it wouldnt do anything. theres nothing i could ever do to make myself right

(new)

i need to convince my gf to take me to Round One again soon

refraction girl (nataana)

(old)

i don't want to do this anymore. i'm going somewhere better

(new)

talked with my psych and i’ll be starting TMS soon, it’s some thing where they put magnets to ur brain and it’s supposed to treat depression.. trying to temper my expectations bc i’ve tried so many treatments that just do nothing for me, but i’d be lying if i said my hopes weren’t riding on this. i want to confidently say i’m glad to be alive. i feel like i’m getting closer to that

nurse parallel/machine girl (xiomara)

(old)

I am so excited... Tomorrow my experimental outpatient treatment plan begins!!! I'm beyond delighted. I have complicated feelings about my DID being in remission, but it's nice to feel stable enough to be in charge of something this big, and to not have terrible gaps in my memory anymore. I still don't remember everything that happened to me, but maybe I don't need to. At this stage of my life, I feel content. I can confidently say everything was worth it. I want to help others feel that way, too. I think I can.

(new)

I’m meeting up with a new friend tomorrow… I feel nervous, but it’s a good nervousness, I think!

[megumimania]

(NOT SO) SECRET SANTA

summary: secret santa takes a twist this year as you exchange gifts with the kyoto school. leaving you rushing as you try to find a gift in time.

tags: fluff, reader being a terrible procrasinator, satoshoko crumbs, todo being takada chan’s biggest supporter, can you tell that secret santa is the bane of my existence?, todo being todo, megumi and yuji being fortnite merchants, nobara and reader maximising their joint slay and gojo’s credit card!

a/n: after scrambling around westfields for the past two days, i thought id share the same emotions in this fic!

“i am never doing this again.” you tell nobara as you weave through the crowd at the mall. yelling ‘excuse me’s’ or apologising as you squeeze past people to get through.

the mall is packed to the brim, with shoppers racing to get their last minute tidbits for christmas before the shops close before the holidays. nobara looks up from her phone, giving you a look that screamed ‘girl be so serious rn’

“you know you said this last year right?” she points out before she stops to look at pair of cute earrings, taking a picture of them. which makes you huff in response because you know that she’s right.

this time last year you were literally on the verge of a nervous breakdown because you could not find anything decent at the mall. this being coupled with the bright flourescent lights and the massive crowds and the loud music sucked up your energy real fast.

you ended giving megumi a sweater that was poorly wrapped and a christmas card that was signed with your tears. at least megumi appreciated the effort that went into your present for him.

“but that was last year, i was a whole different person then with a different set of responsibilities.” you playfully roll your eyes as you mutter to yourself annoyedly “gosh can’t people learn and grow anymore?”

you realise that you’ve lost nobara a long time ago. as she is now talking to the sales person about those tiffany earrings, a trademark tiffany blue bag swinging around with her as she enthuses about jewellery with the sales rep.

whilst you do love seeing her in her element when it comes to fashion, you had pressing matters to consider like what the hell you were going to get todo for christmas.

yes that todo.

this year gojo and utahime for some odd reason, to which megumi attributed to a sure sign that the end times were soon upon us, decided in order for the two schools to see eye to eye with each other that there should be a secret santa gift exchange between the two schools.

they announced this in november giving you ample time to meet up with todo and get to know each other and figure out what he liked. you let him pick all the locations for your meet ups as you read in a book somewhere that a person’s choice of location says a lot about them as a person.

and boy did todo’s choice of locations have a fuck ton to say about him.

in the 6/8 times you met up with todo over this period, he took you to a total of three locations: a takada chan listening party, the gym and a takada chan themed night at the gym.

seeing grown men belt their hearts out to takada’s lyrics whilst doing twenty reps of bicep curls was one way to spend a lousy thursday evening but you learned a lot about him.

the first most obvious thing was his love for takada chan, the second thing was that he smelt really good, like immensely good for a guy which lowkey pissed you off and the third thing was that he was a self care buff, especially when it comes to health and fitness.

in fact in the first twenty minutes of your second meetup, he managed to devise with you a skincare regime based on your skin type.

you were as flattered as you were somewhat offended but when you began to finally implement his tips and tricks, you saw a massive difference in your skin. so you couldn’t really be mad.

and what did todo learn from you?

just your type in men and women, you didn’t know what he was gonna do with your vague description of your ideal partner being “sexy as fuck” but todo was a man of many surprises so you just had to wait and see.

so this was propped up to be easier than ever, you could simply buy him some takada merch and you’d be on your merry way.

however your idea of a easy ride with this gift exchange came to a screeching halt when todo told you that he didn’t want a “takada related gift” because there was more to him than his love for an idol.

you were thrown for a loop, two weeks before the gift exchange and all the takada chan paraphernalia that was holding space in your dorm room had to go back. thank god the return window for some of these items were still open.

the rest you had to sell on facebook marketplace meeting up with all sorts of people behind the school to sell the merchandise.

nobara and maki joked that you looked like a shady drug dealer and they were partially right but trying to haul a life size cut out of takada into the back of someone’s car really ruined the allure of it all.

if dopamine was a drug you’d be rich, you really underestimated how much people’s happiness came from other people especially when it came to an idol/famous celebrity.

your last minute pursuit for a christmas gift for todo led you to a book store. despite his jock-esque character, you later found out that he’s really smart and what do all smart people love? books. yes it was stereotypical but as you perused the sections you found a book that you thought he’d like.

“hey nobara, do you think todo is a self help type of guy?” you turned around showing the book to her. you both knew the answer, even though you doubted that he needed the ‘help’ provided within the books, he’d definitely enjoy the premise of the books.

nobara takes the book from you turning the book around to read the blurb, handing it back to you with a shrug. “the guy has enough energy and passion to power the whole of tokyo, i think he’d like this.”

and with that the book and some other items, you got in your last minute rush were secured. once you got back you wrapped the gifts and left them by the office, ignoring gojo calling you and nobara to his office.

he probably just noticed the 1.6 million yen that left his account after you and nobara bought matching van cleef bracelets at the mall but he’ll live, both of you combined have spent more on his card than a measly 1.6 million.

“gojo, leave the kids alone!” shoko instructed him in that stern doctor voice she only used when she was in the middle of healing several patients at once. it was the only voice he would respond to and respect.

“but shoko, they spent almost 2 million yen on my card!” he whined, gojo always being one for the theatrics. everybody knew that gojo’s wealth was almost boundless, the 2 million he lost today would be made back in a matter of days.

you rolled your eyes as you headed over to chill with megumi and yuji in the common room, who were in the middle of an intense game of fortnite to notice your presence.

it was finally time for the gift exchange, you and todo sat in the canteen as you finally exchanged gifts between one another. “merry christmas todo!” you chirped as you handed him his gifts.

you watched him open the presents studying his reaction closely to see if he liked them or not. he finally looked up, unshed tears brimming in his eyes as he held the self help book and the set of candles in his hands.

“this is the nicest and most thoughtful gift anyone has ever gotten for me.” he sniffles as he reads the card, hands shaking slightly. you were slightly concerned at the level of reaction he was showing. was this normal?

“you even wrote this on a takada chan christmas card, this is too much. thank you.” he pulls you into a hug that knocks the air out of your lungs, you bask in the praise for the time being, if only he knew the hell you went through to get these gifts.

“you’re welcome.” you reply after a while, he finally releases you and watches you open your present with wide eyes, it was perfume alongside some skin care goodies and such.

you sprayed the perfume on your wrist, letting it sit for a couple of minutes in order to smell the main notes. whilst at first the perfume smelt sweet and flowery, after a while the more stronger notes of amber, cacao and sandalwood came through.

“woah this is…” you smelt the perfume on your wrist trying to find the word for this all alluring, all consuming scent. it was so sweet yet so seductive.

“sexy as fuck?” he replied, a shit eating grin forming on his face as he knew that he made the right choice. part of you wanted to groan at the poor attempt of a joke but this was christmas time—a jovial time so you let him have this one.

“how did you figure this perfume out from those two words?” you asked still curious but he leans back on the chair with a simple shrug, chuckling slightly. “even though your type is shallow as fuck, I realised that deep down you are a cool person—so I just got a perfume that exuded that vibe.”

you smile at the compliment and the acknowledgment that your type was shallow as fuck because it was spot on.

you were on a high, this time your procrastination finally didn’t come back to bite you in the ass, since you managed to get todo’s whole set of gifts in time for this christmas exchange event.

but just as you’re about to pat yourself on the back todo speaks up once again.

“hey…uh is there any reason why you left the tag on the candle?”

shit.

well you can’t win at everything.

[bloodfiendarling]

𝓶𝔂𝓬𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓾𝓶 𝓽𝓮𝓶𝓹𝓽𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷

a .. anon chan ...? oh my god .. are you a mind reader ? a saint , perhaps ..? ive had a similar idea for months , i just never got to writing it (shy ,,)

thank u so so much for the idv req >_< i didnt think id get any so early .. this fic took heavy inspo from saya no uta , too .. i rlly did give him the fuminori treatment ..

another case of — written by my dick — this is so horrible .. im so sorry frederick sama ..

DEAD DOVE : DO NOT EAT .

pairing — pioneer research!frederick x hallucinated!reader

wc — ~1.1k

contains — coa vii setting, fem reader (the form reader takes , i guess . theyre kind of not real ..), reader referred to with it/its prns, mindfuck, dubcon .? (is it dubcon if hes on shrooms and doing it to himself . i gen dont know, emeto, body horror, hallucinations, reader is a hallucination, self harm (scratching), established past relationship w reader

playing .. mushrooms • mili

even in such a desolate land, frederick still has the desire to create his work — his music. the composer’s desire for creation still persists, and with the chaos, he found inspiration.

…and unluckily for him, he had a slump.

nothing in the current area could inspire him for music. it frustrated him. even as he played away on the abandoned piano he found — nothing quite stuck to him right. it all felt too empty.

so tonight, frederick decided on leaving. just for one night, though. he’ll return by the next morning, of course — it’d be too dangerous to stay any longer. and where’s the harm in it, anyway? him and his team have been hopping from abandoned building to another.. be it to study more about the fungi or just to rest up.

he took a pen and paper, writing a note to leave behind — a short one, but at the very least it told them he’ll be fine… he’s sure qi will be scolding him afterwards, but.. it’d be well worth it.

as he signed it, he left it on the dirty table they’ve been using. taking his gas-mask to leave. the world is barren. everything was abandoned, there were those mushrooms everywhere. everything within frederick’s field of vision was nothing but a wasteland.

after a good, long walk he stumbled upon an abandoned music venue. it was big — it was grand. he’s sure he could find some inspiration and maybe even a new instrument.

little did the composer know, the venue was a big source of mycelium fungi.

he opened the heavy doors, looking around. a big stage in the middle, and seats all around for the audience to sit. it brought him back to his past for a bit — when he was shown on a stage — being praised for his music. ‘it was like a ray of divine light,’ they’d say.

that stage still had a piano on it. he walked between the empty seats, making his way onto the stage. the piano… it somehow still looked brand new, weirdly enough. it even sounded just like so, properly tuned and cared for.

it didn’t feel real. he thought he was dreaming. frederick sat himself down, performing as if there was an audience. he hasn’t gotten the chance to use such high-quality equipment ever since the infection spread.. he’ll definitely stay for a little longer.

even if it wasn’t real.

the composer peeked around backstage, and somehow, it looked clean. nothing like what he’d usually see. an infected corpse, bloodied walls, some mycelium growing.. none of that. it looked polished in here.. he’ll tell his group he found a new place for them when he gets back.

even if it was filthy in a sane man’s eyes.

it was getting late — he could tell that much. he’s sure his group wouldn’t mind if he came back a little later. he has in the past, anyway.. it didn’t make much problems. he sat down, back against a wall, just looking at all the equipment backstage before drifting to a dreamless sleep.

only to be woken up by a horrible sight. everything looked different from last night. no longer was it that clean place he saw the night before. it was horrid. worse than anything he’s ever seen — flesh and mushrooms coating the walls. the floor felt moist, almost as if it were actual meat. and the smell — god, the smell. poor frederick threw his head to the side and threw up. his throat burns. what even happened here..? was last night all fake?

it got worse when he saw those flesh-like veins start to crawl all over body. with wide eyes, he scratched and hit himself. it didn’t hurt, oddly enough. his body felt weirdly numb — though, frederick was a little too disoriented to notice.

“are you okay, frederick?”

he heard a voice. a woman’s voice — you..? how..?

it can’t be real — but it looked and sounded just like reality. just like you. could it be a hallucination..? no, no.. he’s seen how his groupmates reacted to the mycelium’s hallucinogenic spores — none of them ever mentioned anything like this.. he would know. it’s happened to him a few times before, too.

he placed his hand over his gas-mask, only for it to have a fleshy feel. he could see teeth and blood on his palm — panicking, the composer grabbed onto the mask of his, not realizing it was, in fact — his gas-mask. in his mind, it looked like a piece of gore had latched onto his face. he pulled onto it hopelessly. he wanted it off.

“ah, you’ll hurt yourself..” you cup his face, slowly taking the mask off. in frederick eyes, it really was a young woman helping him discard the living flesh off his face — letting him take a breath. though, it was nothing like that in reality.

he had just taken off his mask in a high risk area.

it felt like fresh air — though he was overwhelmed by the smell of rot after a few seconds, gagging. he can’t help but still see ‘you’ as a fake. but he can’t help but still give in.

“what are you doing here by yourself, anyway..?” it asks.

his jaw locked up, he can’t say anything. frederick looks down, he looks ashamed, almost. why? he didn’t know, either. he just knew whatever it was, it was you — and he’ll believe entirely.

“does it hurt, frederick?” it asks, caressing frederick’s cheek. ‘you’ could see a few red scratch marks on them.. ah.. the way it said those words — alongside those gentle actions. it really was you here in his mind. he can’t help but nod, pressing his knees against his chest and rambling nonsense.

“everything — all of it hurts.” he mumbled. ‘you’ wanted to comfort the composer. and he wanted that comfort, too — he longed for you after you disappeared. who knew he’d find you here of all places.

“do you want me to make you feel good, frederick?”

of course he did. he wanted you again. he missed you. he craved for you. your warmth. you. the composer didn’t care if this ‘you’ wasn’t real.

he watched you climb on top of him, pressing featherlight kisses onto him. as if fungi wasn’t already seeping into his tongue. frederick wrapped his arms around ‘you’ — when in reality they were enveloping himself — scratching red, bloody lines into his skin.

more openings for the spores to use him as a host. for ‘you’ to use him as a dear host.

frederick’s nose started bleeding, some of it had gotten into his ear — though, he paid no mind to it.. it felt like little kisses and bites on his earlobe — just like how you did it back then.

he felt your hands around his neck, how your lips felt against them, too. ah, he was in pure bliss. even if the room looked and smelled like rot — at least ‘you’ — no, it — was here to make him forget about everything.

maybe the rest of his group wouldn’t mind if he just left..

maybe he should stay just a little longer

idv masterlist ♥︎

[maletomboy]

well i threw up!! time to eat an ice cream sandich

[dreamsy990]

you know i used to think it was weird how sora and roxas have such different personalities for supposedly being 'the same person' but after playing a few games i sort of realized that they do have similar personalities, because roxas acts how sora does when he's under extreme stress.

compare roxas to sora in, say, kh1. that's where a lot of peoples idea of sora's personality comes from. sora is generally very upbeat and optimistic in that game. not very similar to roxas, right?

but let's switch the game and talk about a game where sora is ABSOLUTELY GOING THROUGH IT. chain of memories.

sora's resting state is melancholy in com. he only ever cheers up in short bursts, usually when he's joking around with friends. just like roxas.

he's quick to anger, and tends to lash out at the organization members. best example of this is when larxene makes him 'remember' namine, and he swings at her repeatedly, even after she's gone. he only stops when jiminy is able to snap him out of it.

you know what scene that resembles?

sora, while a bit more on the angry side and less sad, continues to act like this in kh2 when he's in stressful situations. (he also has a tendancy to insult people which, while it's not very related to the point, is very funny and sora saying 'gonna cry?' to xigbar is great.) i cant comment any further than that about kh2 off the top of my head.

so, roxas acts like sora does when he's stressed, right? but why is roxas always acting like that? to which i say, he isnt!

he only ever acts like that when he's also in fucked up and stressful situations, which happens to be a CONSTANT in his life. but when he's hanging out with axel and xion, a decidedly NOT stressful situation, he's a lot more like sora. he's teasing his friends and insulting his coworkers and joking around and acting like a normal kid. not really important, but unless i misremembered some sora lines which is VERY possible, both roxas and sora respond to friendly insults with "oh thanks!" a lot. just a funny little detail that felt relevant.

the biggest differences between roxas and sora boil down to environment and... i dont know how to put it besides volume? roxas is very quiet and tends to keep most of his thoughts to himself, while sora is very loud and expressive in comparison.

there is one other huge difference i noticed, which is less character based and more story. sora wanted to get off destiny islands and explore with his friends, but roxas just wanted routine. sora wants adventure, and roxas wants things to stay the same, for days where he gets off work and eats ice cream with his friends to last forever, to keep having conversations about nothing and watching the sunset. roxas wants normalcy, sora wants excitement. it's just interesting seeing their contrast.

not sure if this is very well said or anything i just wanted to talk about my boys

[skunkes]

i dpnt want to go hoooome

[xxplastic-cubexx]

sorry if you've already mentioned but what (re?)ignited your love of comics/x-men/cherik? curious because there are so many different adaptations of them

i think im gonna speak for a few (or a lot of) people when i say that TL;DR the wolverine x deadpool movie that came out this summer is what pulled me back into comics and i COULD leave it there but i will go into excruciating and unnecessary detail instead because i love an origin story and i love oversharing.

under the cut tho because im nice sometimes (there's also wxdp doodles in here. if you want to see that)

ironically (and probably commonly), growing up i was more of an avengers kid. Kinda. Loosely <- binge watched the cartoons and movies and read copious amounts of comics and fics and i am hoarding fanart in my old dresser as we speak ok 'loosely' is a modest lie.

embarrassingly i remember getting into discus cause of captain america LMAO so yeah needless to say i was a Humble Fan- me joining my school's comic class/club didnt help either (shoutout to my teach from that she was the realest one out there for. A Multitude of reasons). she definitely is was inspires me to even draw still and make comics and i often think bout the tips i learned from her class tbh she was great

back to the movies t and comics tho, i got into em because my brother would offer to take me and that's how we'd hang out (i rarely saw movies in theaters and i even more rarely went anywhere as a teenager. still kinda like that today tbh ooops) and yk. it just snowballed after that.

my brother and i have always liked comics- he just more than me for a while (though he still very much loves comics and As We Know From My Posts we still talk about them whenever i see him To An Exhausting Degree)

durin then i was really into stony and i have a few surviving doodles i made but those are between me and god. and anyone who asks tbh LOL

'snap can you make this related to x-men again this is long' ok so fast forward to This Summer again I Still Don't Really See Movies but my brother offered to take me and this was the first time i'd actually seen an x-men movie in full

as a kid i only remember seeing the 'perfection' scene between erik and raven in first class while i was channel surfing. pretty sure i changed the channel after seeing mystique naked cause i was scared my parents would get mad at me if they caught me watching it LOL

BUT MOVING ON As A Kid i think it's also natural you'll sometimes watch 92 if it's on And I Did though evidently it didn't stick too hard (i do remember really liking beast and gambit though.... still do really): my knowledge of x-men was. INCREDIBLY sparse. like diabolically so so i didnt have too much expectations (aside from the fact i vaguely liked deadpool beforehand).

tbh i dont know why my bro never took me to see any of the x-men movies. it's not like he doesn't Also like x-men (90% sure nightcrawler's his favorite but my brother will be caught dead saying he has absolute favorites like that)- he owns a bitch load of deadpool comics/omnibus sets too (of which ive read over the years and reread this year) but Shrug moving on

Much Like Most Of The Internet i fell down the rabbit hole that way. i have some doodles i made a couple days after seeing WxDP that i now have an excuse to throw at all of you Look And Perceive

and so. As I Do. i got curious and told myself i'd binge watch all the x-men movies the week before i went back to school And Then I Did ft. My Brother Sometimes and then i said i'd binge watch all of '92 and And I Did That ft. My Brother Sometimes But Less So and now we're here. currently watching Evolution...

once i got to school i realized i lived near a comic shop and started getting into the comics that way (the first ones i got since going down this rabbit hole was Magneto Was Right!, The Resurrection of Magneto, and The Trial of Magneto. if you were curious !!!!! clearly i didnt care too much about context i just needed to see My Guy jelvejlkvj i have no regrets and Evidently ive read more since)

i'm pretty sure what dragged me into cherik specifically was the fact i saw a clip of The Famous ending to 92 where erik's aghast at the notion jean even has to question his love for charles. i think that was what officially had me refocus my lens on them: not a single poolverine thought after that LOL (all the cherik posting i saw on twitter definitely helped too but that was the nail in the coffin for any other interests i had: i was locked into cherik and x-men in general now)

that clip specifically, i was surprised at the fact they- frequently even- have the x-men franchise say erik loves charles and vice versa so bluntly. even if it's not meant to be romantic, i fear im just a fan of how casually the word's thrown around with them two and i got tender bout it all. Then Yk. i just live for the drama. the hilarity even. the sincerity .... they make me sick if i think of them too long so im gonna end it here

before i go tho ironically enough, the first x-men issue i owned was This one (story a this is that while stuck in some wacko dimension charles accidentally gets himself trapped in logan's mind while utilizing his astral projection. if you were curious). pretty sure i got it for free with another comic set i got years ago since our old comic shop loved to do that, but it's poetic aint it. maybe ill doodle something referencing it..

i should probably look into finishing this arc someday im Dummy curious to even know how it started and how it ends.....

[puhpandas]

I opened a fnaf card pack and got 3 fnaf ar skin cards one of which being liberty chica

[pawbeanies]

hii can we smoke together but i'm a beginner and dont know how to use a lighter so you laugh at me (softly) as you light it and show me how to take a hit before handing it off to me....... can we....

[skyburger]

"fnaf is the scariest game ever" "no its silent hill" "well i think its resident evil" everyone shut up!!!!!! youre all wrong. its actually zack & wiki quest for barbaros' treasure (on the nintendo wii) but only the level "keeper of the ice". that level scared me so bad as a kid and you can tell because its the only individual level i remember the name of off the top of my head. like there is nothing scarier than a) being chased and b) being on a time limit. and you know what this level has? BOTH OF THOSE. this level is still scary to me im like AHHHHH!!!! and then i die

[highoncatfood]

raincode ending spoilers. kinda

also makoto is such a great antagonist. he has consistently been a fantastic character from his first appearance until the very end. the twists, the tragedy of him, the motives. all of it is so good it all makes sense and in the final showdown i was like yknow what hes right!!! i literally sided with him so much he makes me so fucking sad i love him.

[schizononagesimus]

i really wanna tell you guys about something horrible that happened at work today due to a protest but i cant because ill completely doxx myself worse than usual. all i will say is im scared but im safe at home now, and we're trying to get some security for tomorrow. authorities had to get involved. we're literally being bullied by massive groups of grown ass men just for existing, people putting their hands on us, people screaming in our faces.

[mirmidones]

3.40 i woke up bc i was cold and needed to pee and now i can't fall back asleep i keep thinking of the people i accidentally ghosted. is it ghosted if there was no intent to ghost? i feel so bad and it's not even like i don't think about them i often do think "i should really reply to them... once this is over ill properly sit down and write them... " and then i don't bc something else happens and im dealing with that and the longer i leave it unanswered the more difficult it becomes because i feel so guilty and therefore want to do things properly not half assed but bc i feel so guilty a part of me also tends to avoid it even more. if i do this to you just know i'm really sorry and ill get back to you i swear

[mishy-mashy]

I just think if Natsuki Naoko was transported to Re:Zero instead of Subaru, we'd have a very different - but also funny and now a slice-of-life - story

Everything she says doesn't have any hatred or weight behind it, it's all sounding like the airy speculation of a child going "Ohhhhh"

(About spirits, whenever they show up) "Well, I hate small, round things."

Somehow managing to walk away from the alleyway without a problem, the trio just bows awkwardly and apologize for standing in her way like scolded children

"S-Sorry.."

Since I (personally) wouldn't want to subject Mama Naoko to Return By Death, I think everything would magically work out for her and she'd throw around life lessons that no one understands... at first

"That's why you should always label your mayonnaise bottle."

"Um... Mayonnaise?"

Just a nice mother, clapping her hands with a happy smile, unaware to the small crowd of the cast she's amassed behind her, all Team Protect Mama.

[itsalwaysdark]

i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.

[24bughours]

GUHHHHHH AUGHGGHJHHH..... FIONNA AND CAKE FINALE SPOILERS.... IM IN A RAMBLING MOOD

I EXPECTED TO BE SOBBING MY EYES OUT (which i almost did) BUT NO THIS ENDING WAS SOOO... GUH

IT WAS SO CUTE. FIONNA AND CAKE GOT TO HAVE THEIR MAGICAL WORLD IN A DIFFERENT WAY. SIMON STARTED GOING TO THERAPY. I LOVED IT

BUT ONCE AGAIN. I am left feeling SO BAD for Betty!!! We dont know wtf is going on with her!!! She didnt get to directly talk to Simon at all! I mean, she did in the flashback, but only for like 2 seconds. As much as I loved Simon's realization, I wanted her to be emotionally vulnerable dammit!! And I'm not saying that I thought it was a bad thing she couldn't talk, I think it's really interesting the route they went with this episode... but right now I just want to talk abt how much I LOVE BETTY. AND I WISH SHE COULDVE JUST HAD A MOMENT!!! GAHHH!

And Simon. I'm so glad he realized what he did, I was expecting the possibility of an ending where he gets what he wants and/or never realizes how one-sided the relationship is, so I'm grateful we got what we got. But I expected more emotion from him when he saw Betty again. When he was realizing what he's done to her.

I mean, this is the man who spent years yearning for her return, the man who tortured a demon for (what I'm going to assume was) MONTHS, just to have a chance at bringing her back. His collective trauma from the crown and the loss of his wife created a shell of a man. A man whose sole purpose was to try and make it all up to his wife somehow.

Yet he didn't realize that this wasn't the first time she had done this for him. So maybe, once he realized how selfish he has been, never noticing her effort...

He gained another purpose. He wanted to make it up to her in a new way. Instead of sacrificing himself aimlessly, half out of genuine love and half out of self-hatred, he chose to live for her. He chose to throw the crown away and end the cycle of self-destruction. He chose to give her peace instead of endlessly chasing her.

Simon isn't perfect, he never was. But this episode solidified, for me at least, that he truly loves Betty. He would do anything for her, and once he realized that letting her go was the only solution for both of them, that's what he did.

God damn, did this show HIT. Literally amazing. Might write a fic about Betty