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i wasnât here when tma reached the height of its popularity (i only joined last year) so could you describe the Vibes (how bad the drama was, did it feel like there were too many people, etc.)
only if you want to :]
I've said this before, so this may be a familiar spiel to longer term followers, but 2020 tma fandom was honestly not the worst fandom I've ever been in, it was just by far the biggest thing I have ever been actively into at peak popularity and so the 1% of insane people that are found in every fan space were 1% of a much bigger total population. most people were fine and chill, but there were a vocal minority who Weren't.
major ingredients in the discourse pot:
from my observations, tma had a small but devoted listener base for its first few years, then it got a little bump in mid 2018, then a considerable bump in late 2019, then hit proper virality in early 2020, so there were a lot of people with hipster complexes about being Real Fans who were there first and weren't just part of the masses.
at this point I'm not even sure if this part was true, but the above was compounded by the perception that the earlier og listener base were mostly adults and the new wave of fans were mostly tweens and teens. whether the different waves actually fell along those age lines or not, a lot of people felt like the fandom was split into 80% Cringe Zoomers Who Are Here For Ships And Memes and 20% Millennials and Gen X'ers With Media Literacy Who Are Here For Horror. nice dichotomy, idiot, now what lies outside it, etc and such and such. our blessed fandom etiquette vs their barbarous dni lists.
which isn't to say that suddenly having a huge number of people, including young people, become interested in a single piece of media at a time of global stress where everyone had to be much more online and the content of the media itself was at its darkest and most socially relevant had no downsides. oh no. Oh No.
"my headcanon is not only objectively the best headcanon but it actually invalidates all of yours and if you hc something different then it's an act of bigotry against my Correct Headcanon." / "I have drawn up a list of Good Characters you have to like and aren't allowed to criticize and a list of Bad Characters you have to hate and can't acknowledge exist unless it's to make fun of and completely condemn them." / "I saw her username in the kudos of a jonelias fic" "girl what were YOU doing in the kudos of a jonelias fic" / "this latest episode handled a social issue unforgivably badly, I haven't experienced it myself but the vibes were off, everyone demand accountability and boycott the rest of the show" "hey that one was actually based on jonny's personal experiences" "ah fuck not again. well boys let's remember this for next time. this latest epis--"
honestly most of the discourse was down to like two or three friend groups. there was one group of people who you will probably remember if you were there at the time whom I have sometimes seen referred to as the Clown Gang. Clown Gang were ground zero for a good 90% of fan discourse ("hcing melanie as ace is ableist and lesbophobic" "fan content that focuses on jon's asexuality is biphobic. what's pansexuality I've never heard of it." "desolation tim aus are inherently ableist and racist"), but eventually they had a big falling out with Clown Prime and things calmed down. to be very clear I hold no ill will towards any of these people for four year old bad takes, hence why I'm not using any names, but god was it a time.
and this is only about the tumblr side of things. I was barely active of twitter so idk what it was like there but I was on tiktok for about a year during that time and the vibes were wildly different. iirc people there were less confrontational and there wasn't really a callout culture like on tumblr, but the extremes of the takes were FAR worse.
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What Happened Last Night? - Part 1
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Summary: After burning the Book of the Damned and escaping the Styneâs, you all have a night of harmless celebrations back at the bunker. At least, it was harmless until Charlie suggested a game of Never Have I Ever, and the rest of your night became a blur. Friends to Lovers 18+ only
Word Count: 3,300
Warnings: Language, Dubious Consent (implied drunk sex), SMUT in part two
Or read it on AO3 here
A/N: Hey đ This is my first time posting a fanfic on Tumblr. The namesâs Beth (Aussie/Dean-girl/tired mum). Iâve been on AO3 (and Wattpad) for over a year now and thought it was about time I put my big girl pants on and join the community here because it looks fun (though the social media side of this scares my close-to-midlife-crisis-ass). So, yeah, newbie in terms of everything here - please be kind. If you recognise me from the other sites, please say hi đ This is a cross post - there are two chapters total. Letâs see how this goes!
in vino, veritas
in wine, there is truth
Five bodies sat around the mess room table that night, drinking their troubles away and eating their fill.Â
You, Dean, Sam, Charlie, and Cas at the end, sitting on a wooden chair heâd brought in from the library to make more space for those of you who did eat.
"This won't work," you said to the other four, though it was technically directed at Charlie. Your tone was as condescending as you could make it under the influence of the alcohol youâd already consumed.Â
Three beers and two sneaky sips of Charlieâs Harvey Wallbanger youâd taken while she wasnât looking.
It was one less ounce of bounce in her step for your at-the-time more than tipsy gal pal and well deserved. Especially now sheâd revealed her true intentions on why sheâd encouraged you to partake in drinking in the first place.
In her overly enthusiastic state, sheâd suggested a game to get âThe Party Started.â A phrase sheâd attempted to sing in vain as only you seemed to understand its reference.Â
Though Sam might have had a clue. His mouth had turned up around the lip of his bottle heâd conveniently sipped during the rendition of the Black Eyed Pea's early noughties banger.
Dean was one hundred per cent clueless, of course. Nothing past the eighties was decent to him. Nothing except that one Taylor Swift song youâd caught him listening to when he thought no one was watching.Â
He had sulked then and had been sulking on and off again since last night. Brooding over the fact heâd lost his one chance to remove the mark. Unbeknownst that Sam had not burnt the Book of the Damned like he, Charlie and Cas thought, but in a better mood thanks to the booze and pizza heâd brought home.
You knew better.
Both about his demeanour and what had really happened with the ancient text.Â
Youâd seen Sam swap it with a replacement and youâd promised him youâd keep your mouth shut. Something you were hating your past self for.
Past you was a fucking idiot.
A fucking idiot who was about to get drunk from a game of Never Have I Ever like Charlie had suggested, and at risk of spilling more than one can of beans if you didnât think of something fast to stop it.Â
Charlie, the conniving little⌠She knew way too much about you after the last time youâd had a few with her and the glint in her eyes that youâd seen when she suggested the damn game was enough for you to know that what she was planning was dangerous.
A drunk manâs words are a sober manâs thoughts. Or something like that. Â
And she was almost there.Â
âWhat do you mean, it wonât work?â she said with far too loud a pitch that made even Cas uncomfortable.Â
Well, more uncomfortable than normal.
âUmm. The angel, for starters.â You directed your gaze at Cas, realising too late that you were going to give him a complex. âI think most of our everyday human experiences are going to be a never for him. And whatever he did in heaven will be the same for us. Itâs unbalanced.â
âYouâre thinking too much. Heâll get drunk. Weâll get drunk. Thatâs the point of the game,â Charlie said.
But her grin left her when a gruff, âI wonât,â interjected itself into the conversation.Â
Hah. Wonât. It was as if youâd sucked the happiness out of Charlie and taken it all for yourself to then rub it back in her face. âSee. Cas doesnât want to play. And Sam and Dean clearly donât want to play either.â They'd said nothing against the suggestion and nothing against you now.
âActually, you donât have enough liquor here to get me drunk,â Cas added.
Donât have enough⌠âSeriously?â You looked at him again and he nodded. An apologetic look on his face.
Which brought a âchallenge acceptedâ one into Charlieâs.
Looking around the room for support from the guys, you noticed Sam hiding a silent chuckle behind the bottle in his hand.Â
While Dean, who had been quiet since Charlie had burst out in song, locked eyes with yours. âWell, if there arenât any more arguments from you, sweetheart, letâs play.â
And you thought Casâ claim that there wasnât enough booze for him was a surprise.
Fuck. Your head was pounding.
Your mouth was drier than a desert with a chalky sensation in your throat and lips that felt like they had cracked.Â
Yup. Cracked alright. They stung as you splayed your tongue over them, attempting to nourish the skin with what little wetness you had left in your mouth. A fat lot of good that did, though.
They werenât the only part of your body feeling uncomfortable. Pins and needles from where youâd slept funny on your arm tingled from your funny bone to your wrist.
âOw. Fuck.â Well, that hurt.
You were hung without a doubt, and just all over feeling seedy.
At least youâd slept some of the alcohol off and were no longer drunk. You thought.
The strands of hair that had made their way into your mouth and the saliva you strung along with it as you pulled it out would say otherwise. Urgh. Gross.
Had you been drooling? No wonder your throat was dry.
You groaned and forced your eyes open. Yes, you had. There was a wet patch on the white pillowcase below you.
Odd. You didnât own white sheets.Â
Youâd decorated your room in the bunker with as much colour as you could. What with the hunting life full of black, brown, denim and blood, you didnât need any of that spreading into your personal space.Â
Of course, white was colour(ish), but again, you didnât own white sheets, and your room didnât have a solid wall where you were facing. Curiouser and curiouser. Your door was supposed to be right there.Â
You were at the correct end of the bed for it. A headboard behind you and a pillow underneath you, meaning you were lying on the right side. Yet all you saw was more bricks, a tall boy in some kind of brown and clothes that werenât yours scattered on the surrounding floor.Â
Amongst them, a pair of jeans - okay, they might be yours. But the flannel? One plaid with various browns and greens. The very same Dean had been wearing last night?
Fuck.
Deanâs clothes. Deanâs room.
This was Deanâs room?Â
This was Deanâs room.Â
Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck.Â
What were you doing here? The last thing you remember was⌠Fuck.
Those lips. Deanâs lips, plump and whiskey-tainted, had peppered kisses on you in more than one place. Over your mouth, your cheek and your neck. Lower...Â
Youâd learnt the spot at the base of your ear above your lower jaw was quite sensitive. Dean had learnt that, too. Heâd also learnt a few other things if your tainted memory served you correctly, and you, the same about him.
The way his muscles contracted around his chest and back. Every little ridge, taut and firm, continued even down his arm and into his hands. Those talented fingers had a way of placing pressure in just the right places to make you blush. Theyâd found their way under your shirt and bra andâŚ
Oh⌠OhâŚ
Had you slept with him and not remembered the main event? Was that possible with Dean? Your friend. The guy youâd wanted to be more than for the longest of time.
You've fallen for him the day youâd met. With that charming smile and those dazzling green eyes.Â
And that was before youâd gotten to know him.
Now you knew the man behind the shit-eating grin. The playful, sometimes scary nerd (who refused to admit it) was loyal to those he cared about. A self-righteous martyr, who could be a bit of a dick sometimes and followed it too when the time was appropriate.Â
Not that heâd done it so much lately.Â
Except, maybe now.
You were screwed and without asking him, there werenât too many ways to check if indeed you had been by him.
You turned your head slowly to find an empty bed next to you.Â
Thank fuck. There was plenty of time to ask, but his bed was not the place.
You stretched your legs out, noting they felt normal. Stiff if anything, but not in a way youâd expect if youâd partaken in good sex.
Of course, that meant nothing. Maybe the rumours youâd heard about Dean were untrue?
Yeah right.Â
Youâd seen the satisfied faces from all of his past hook-ups as they fled his motel room the next morning. Possibly one in every state. He had brought none of them to the bunker though, meaning you were the first to sleep in his room. In his bed.
Go you... That was something to be proud of, not.Â
Youâd hightailed it out of his room after all that. Slinking off down the hall to your own to get changed out of the clothes youâd been wearing the night before. You hadnât been wearing them when youâd woken up, of course. Oh, no. Youâd been wearing one of his henleys, braless underneath, and your underwear surprisingly still on.Â
While youâd think that would be a comfort for you, you knew that meant nothing. Though everything felt normal down there, so maybe it did.Â
You werenât sticky when you had a shower, but you noticed the love bites above your breasts when you looked in the bathroom mirror after it. There were bruises on your hips too. Ones shaped like fingerprints that fingers had pressed into you on either side.Â
Hmm.
There was only one way to find out what had happened and once youâd primed and prepped yourself, wearing clothes that covered you from your neck to your toes, you made your way to the same room where everything had gone down the night before.
Stupid Charlie and her stupid fucking game.Â
âHey, Charlie,â you greeted when she saw you enter. Her eyebrows raised, along with her grin. âWhereâs everyone else?âÂ
In other words - Whereâs Dean?
Only Charlie sat at the table. The rest of the room was clear. There were no more pizza boxes, no more alcohol bottles and no one in the kitchenette. Not even someoneâs head in the fridge.Â
Just Charlie, with the smell of bacon and freshly ground coffee lingering in the air around her.
Coffee. You needed some of that.
âSamâs got his head in the books again. Can you believe he was up before eight?â
Actually, you could and you hummed in response as you took your fresh cup of steaming goodness up to your lips to sip.
âI think Cas has left the building. We may have gotten him drunker than we thought.â She smirked. âAnd I figured you knew where Dean was.â
Your mouth spluttered over the rim of your cup. Coffee now dripped down your shirt and a few of the drops had landed on the floor.Â
You flicked your eyes to your friend as you placed the cup on the table opposite her. Towels. You needed towels.
âDonât give me that look. I saw you two after I left. And I checked on you this morning when I first got up. You werenât in your room,â she said.
There was a knowing look on her face as you made your way between the pantry and back again that you ignored. Stooping down low to wipe the spill youâd made on the tiled floor below, only joining her once youâd discarded the paper towel in the bin along with your dignity.
Your hands went straight back to your cup, sipping on the rim and avoiding Charlieâs prying eyes.
âCome on. Let me live vicariously. What happened between you two?â
âI donât know,â you whispered.
âYou donât know? I set this all up for you and him and you donât know?â
âSsshhh.â Your shoulders slouched, and you reached across the table to grab her arm. âI donât remember, okay? I woke up in his bed butâŚâ
âDid you two?â She made a crude gesture with her hands.
âI. Donât. Know.â Your eyes were open wide as you enunciated every syllable to get your point across.Â
âHow do you not know?â Charlie blinked a couple of times.Â
Drawing in a long breath, your mouth agape and ready to sigh it all out, you looked back at your friend and trembled your head in a quick shake. âI remember fooling around a bit but I donât remember much more than that.â
âSo you just woke up in his bed and donât know how you got there?â she asked.
âI mean, I know how I got in his room, I remember that much, I think, but I donât remember lying down or, you know.â The look you gave her was enough. You didnât need to elaborate and even if you had wanted to, a heavy thud of boots echoed through the corridor outside.
Sure, it was possibly Sam, but that distinct gap between steps could only have been made by one bow-legged Winchester. And when Charlieâs face lit up opposite you and you heard the sound abruptly stop from somewhere near the door, you knew it to be true.
âMorning Dean,â she said. The chirpiness in her voice made you want to slap her silly but as you only had access to the hand that still held yours in the moment, you dug your fingernails into the skin below them instead. âOw. You want some breakfast? Thereâs bacon still in the pan.â
Dean grunted and you felt eyes boring into the back of your head.
You refused to look behind you to where you knew he was pouring his own coffee by the sounds of it and released Charlieâs hand to pick up your cup. You took slow sips, keeping both your mouth and the rest of your body occupied while your elbows rested on the table, defending yourself from Charlie and her quips.
âHow did you sleep?â she asked this time. Her eyes flicked between you both.
Could she be any more obvious?
âFine,â he grumbled. âYou got any more questions, or are you gonna leave us in peace to sort our own shit out?âÂ
Fuck.
You looked over at Charlie with a pleading look that said âPlease donât go.â My how things had changed. But she grinned back at you and wagged her eyes, before standing and leaving the room in haste. Damn traitor.
As her footsteps trailed off down the hall, the room grew uncomfortably silent. Making your sips the loudest thing to have ever existed in the world.Â
Your coffee was more bitter than it had been and you needed sugar pronto if you ever wanted to finish it.
You brought your cup down and placed it on the table before you to let your fingers fidget over the thin porcelain. Paying attention to each sharp angle between the curves and painted decorations. More so than was ever necessary.
Your eyes fixated on it, even as Dean took Charlieâs place across from you, watching you with caution. âSo,â he cleared his throat. âHowâd you sleep?â
Seriously? Taking Charlieâs line was how he wanted to start this. Well alrighty then. âUm. Fine, I guess. You?â You braved a glance at him, noting he was more serious in his disposition than usual.
âLike a log,â he said before silence filled the room again.
Right. You werenât sure what you should say next. There was that big question on your mind, but you wanted, no, needed to approach it carefully. You didnât want him to know you didnât remember what if anything had happened between you.Â
Not for his ego, but for yours.
You took another glance at him and saw his tongue run along the inside of his cheek, making it stick out under the five oâclock shadow he was yet to get rid of. He always looked his best like that.Â
âI uh, I was surprised you werenât there when I came back to my room just now.â
Wait. He was? âYou were?âÂ
âYeah.â There was a defensive twang in his tone. It was subtle, but it was there. âI only went to take a shower and then I found youâd bolted⌠I thoughtâŚâ He shook his head.
He thought. Thought what?
You looked him up and down. It wasnât just his tone that was unusual. The way he held his shoulders and the way he gripped his coffee cup before him was odd. In anyone else, youâd say they were lacking in confidence, but Dean wasnât like this. Â
The last time youâd seen him in such a way was after heâd killed Randy and the thugs in Pontiac and had come home dishevelled and broken over what heâd done.
âWhat did you think?â you asked, stretching your arm out to brush his hand across the table. Hoping that by doing so it might relieve whatever tension he was feeling.
There was a warmth there, that spread under your fingertips as your skin touched his and brought flashbacks to your mind of you touching other places on his body.Â
Youâd seen him with his shirt off last night. Been up close and personal with his tattoo and the scars that adorned his chest. Youâd felt the dip in his spine and the pressure of his waistband pressing into your thumbs when youâd hooked them under the denim that sat around his waist.
Had you gotten into those jeans last night?
âLast night,â he said, watching your hand with interest. âAfter what we talked about.â
What we talked about? Youâd stayed up well into the night with him. Long after Sam and Charlie had gone to bed and Cas had disappeared to do whatever Cas does. But just like your memories of what took place in his room were drawing blank, so too were whatever words youâd exchanged with him.Â
All you could see were the grins and smirks he threw your way, and you nodded your head to stall. It didnât do you any favours.Â
He was looking at you with a scrutinising gaze and just as your cheeks had burned when he found that spot under your ear, they did the exact same to you now and gave everything away. âYou. You donât remember? Do you?â
You bit your lip and shook your head. âI ah. Iâm drawing blanks. Some of it, I remember, but I couldnât tell you what we talked about after the others left. AndâŚâ You hesitated.
âWhat?â His eyes locked onto yours and while they made you nervous, you couldnât pull away.Â
âDean. Did weâŚâÂ
He seemed almost disappointed. But rather than wait for you to finish your question, or answer it even though it was as obvious as Charlie had been, he stood up, scraping the chair along the floor as he did so to storm off.
âWhat the fuck just happened?â
You had drunk a lot and been drunk because of it. Youâd spent time with Dean alone after the others had gone to bed and had talked with him about something.Â
Something that led you to his room and into his bed.Â
Thereâd been action. Kisses and touches. A bit of groping and clothes being removed. Small flashes of that continued to form in your mind. But while marks had been left on your skin and youâd stayed the night in his bed, you couldnât remember the physical act of him being inside of you. Or you giving him a happy ending either for that matter.Â
And now, he was disappointed.
Could it be that he felt the same way you did?Â
ââââââââââââââââââââThank you for reading! Iâll try posting part two same time next week - or you can read it now on AO3 here. In the meantime, Iâll be trying to work this site out (and finishing my WIPs whose updates are overdue⌠đ
#dean winchester#dean winchester fanfiction#dean winchester x reader#dean x reader#dean winchester x you#dean x you#spn fanfiction#spn reader insert#reader insert#x reader#fem reader#dean winchester fic#supernatural fanfiction#dean winchester smut#one shots
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sus music editing in s4 byler scenes (a saga)
since tiktok might die in the US soon, i wanted to convert some of my old tiktoks into tumblr posts so they can live on forever! i've been wanting to do this for a while but never got around to it. i'm starting with this one because ive been posting about music coding a lot lately. i recommend watching the video attachment (at the end of the post) after reading the whole post, just so you'll have context when watching.
ALRIGHT!
will and mike are interrupted in the majority of their solo scenes. the scene in jonathan's room, the scene in will's room, the scene on the car, & the scene in the cabin. i noticed a long time ago that the songs used in the first 3 scenes listed build up for the first half and then kind of explode for the second half. there's a point where the song changes/released after the buildup.
the songs are:
eight fifteen (jonathan's room)
on the bus (will's room)
letter to willy (talk on the car)
BUT, in will's room & the car scene, mike and will are interrupted almost right before the song is supposed to climax. i lined the songs up and listened and i'm right. interestingly, in the scene in will's room, on the bus is edited. in the scene, the song starts like normal at the start of the song. but they cut the middle out so it would skip right to the part RIGHT before the climax of on the bus. THEY DID THAT. so at the very end of the scene just before they get interrupted, the song is teetering on the edge of the big explosive part of the song, but it doesn't happen because they're interrupted and the song ends. in the car scene letter to willy is also edited. maybe im wrong, but there's a note i hear in the car scene that i cannot find anywhere in the song. so it seems like they're purposefully using songs that are building to something but cut off right before the pay off of the buildup. i wouldn't be capitalizing on this so much if 90% of the scenes this happens in werent mike and will staring into each other's souls and then having their gazes torn from each other, but they are. so take that as you will.
now we need to talk about eight fifteen. this is fucking wild.
eight fifteen is all build up for the first half. then there's a moment where it teeters on the edge for a second, and then BOOM! release & loud pretty synths. i lined it up, and the 'teetering' part of the song is in the scene in jonathan's room, but like the others, it's edited. but this one is WAY more crazy.
the song starts from the beginning when will sits on the bed next to mike. it builds while mike talks about his problems with el and not saying the thing she wants. then will says "look, mike, you're gonna see her again, and whatever it is you didn't say, you can say it to her then, okay?" the teetering part starts when will says
"look" and goes all the way until he says "then"
when he says "then", that is the moment when the buildup is supposed to release. but in this scene, it doesn't happen. instead, when he finishes talking, specifically when he says "then" the note kind of trails off. it sounds weird. it's unsatisfying. there was no payoff to all that buildup. i've seen plenty of other tv shows where this is used to emphasize the face that there was no payoff. something in the scene was anticlimactic. something that they wanted to happen or were expecting to happen didnt. the characters are disappointed or left hanging.
and when that note trials off, mike says
"yeah...yeah" and looks down, looking upset and conflicted and disappointed
he wanted will to say something else. will saying "you can say it to her then, okay?" disappointed mike. that's not what he wanted to hear. i think mike wanted will to reassure him and tell him he doesn't have to say something he doesn't mean or doesn't want to say, and that when they see el again mike can explain himself. mike desperately wants to be told he doesn't have to pretend to be in love with el if that's not how he really feels. he wants to be told that el won't be angry if he's honest with her about his true feelings for her, which are platonic. (hence why he later nods after will says 'what if they don't like the truth?')
but will doesn't understand that. will thinks they are in love, he thinks they're perfect. so in his mind, it's fine because mike can just say it when he sees el again. but he thinks that because he thinks mike actually means it, when in reality he doesn't. and by doing that, will only further pushed mike into giving his false confession. now mike thinks even more that he just has to spit it out and tell el what she wants to hear even if it's not how he really feels. this just breaks my heart because mike is so hated on but he's a GOOD BOYđđ he's just a 14 year old kid who's afraid of failing the people he cares about but also hates lying about his feelings and just wants to feel free from the expectations others have for him. he just wants someone, specifically will, to tell him it's okay, and that he doesn't owe anyone anything, especially not his own feelings. and it hurts extra bad because if will knew the truth about mike not loving el he would shower him in support because of course mike shouldn't have to lie just because it's what el wants to hear.
and just in case anyone tries to say otherwise, YES mike lied in the monologue. it doesn't need to be proven, it's simply canon.
like there's no denying this. believing it's just a mistake by the writers before believing mike lied is CRAZY heteronormative copium. like come onđ
anyways, the things mike says and does in the scene in jonathan's support this theory. he threw away el's note. "a fight you cant come back from" "maybe if i just said that thing then things would be different" his phrasing sticks out so much. "said that thing" and not "told her" or "told her how i feel". to mike it's just saying words he doesn't want to say. and "a fight you cant come back from" its almost like he's hinting to will that he and el need to break up and he's hoping will will catch on and support him. he trusts will and values his opinion and wants his support. usually he and will very easily communicate non verbally and are naturally in tune with what the other is thinking and feeling, but this time will doesn't catch on (because of his own heteronormativity and assumption that mike and el are in love), and mike is disappointed. he brings this up over and over, like he isn't satisfied with will's answer, and is a little more honest every time. the only thing that seemingly satisfied mike was hearing will's feelings. why did it even get that far?? why would what will said in jonathan's room not suffice if he is actually in love with el??? it just doesn't make sense.
(unless it actually makes perfect sense)
i'm very confident in this since this lies less with the continuity within stranger things itself and more with basic film/video/sound editing. i even got some comments from editors/musicians who agreed with me!
"It's a tactic I've actually used before in editing. It keeps the audience engrossed, and really makes it FEEL interrupted for the audience."
"Woah that's crazy! And it literally stops on the fifth so it's totally legitimately unstable/ unresolved."
stopping on the fifth refers to a technique used in music composition to make a chord progression sound completed. i actually know a bit about this because i took music theory in college, but if anyone knows more than me feel free to share! a completed progression is like a circle. you must begin and end with the same chord. you start with one chord and move down a fifth to the next chord, and do that until you end up back at the original chord. that way it sounds nice and satisfying and completed. in 'on the bus', which the commenter was referring to, this process is cut short, which would serve no purpose other than making the music sound and feel incomplete or interrupted or unsatisfying.
if i just butchered that whole explanation please let me know, but im pretty sure that's accurate.
here is the video with two of the scenes i talked about, using 'Eight Fifteen' and 'On The Bus'
and just as a reminder, on the bus has only played twice in the entire show. first in the lumax talk on top of the bus in season 2, and second in the byler talk in will's room in s4. đ
anyways i hope this was comprehensibleđ
i remember my tiktok followers being very confused so feel free to re read and re watch as many times as necessary or reply with any questions! and anyone who has more input on editing/music pls share with the class if you'd like!!
anyways byler endgame, thanks for reading
#byler#stranger things#will byers#mike wheeler#byler endgame#mike wheeler i know what you are#byler analysis#milkvan is bones#stranger things 4#anti milkvan#anti mileven#byler canon#byler music coding#stranger things music coding#byler music#byler coding#st4 music coding#byler s4 analysis
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Hey yâall,
This isnât an easy decision, but Iâve decided to deactivate my blog. I donât want anyone to worry about me, so I want to let yâall know Iâm alright and mentally Iâm doing better every day. Iâve just realized that Iâm at a point in my life where Iâll be happier and more mentally well if I have no social media whatsoever, including tumblr. More details below the cut if youâre curious (mainly just me being sappy about how much fun itâs been and how amazing my mutuals are).
Iâve had a blast here and found so much fun, joy, community and creativity at a time in my life where I desperately needed it. Seriously, I canât overstate how much it meant to me. It was so much fun playing pretend with you all, hearing all your thoughts and ideas, reading your incredibly thoughtful takes and analyses, bouncing ideas off of each other. You all helped me reignite my passion for writing and rediscover a lifelong fun, fulfilling hobbyâI never would have started doing it again if it werenât for the nerds corruption AU and my life would look completely different now. All the love for my fics and unhinged AU ideas meant the world to me, too.
And of course this sappy goodbye post wouldnât be complete if I didnât mention how amazing, kind, creative and talented my mutuals are. Aurora, thank you so much for all the moodboard requests you did for me, they were all amazing and brightened my day so much, for having so much appreciation for Grace and really influencing how I saw her character and just for being a lovely person in general <3 Ali, I havenât seen you on here in a minute but if you happen to see this thank you so much for that drawing!! You are such a talented artist with a really cool, unique style and I still havenât forgotten it. Ellie, youâre an incredible writer and Iâm sure youâll be seeing me in your comments section on ao3. Iâve had so much fun whenever weâve interacted and bounced ideas off of each other and youâre just generally a really cool person with immaculate vibes. Thank you for being the mutual that Gets It. Elliot, youâre a super talented writer as well, and thank you so much for all the sweet comments youâve left and the general good, positive vibes you bring to the fandom. Cosma thank you for giving Brenda the appreciation she deserves and for also being so much fun to interact with. I love how you always engaged with my weird AU ideas and built on them, and how you came up with so many amazing and creative ideas both for fanworks and your original content. And Sanguine thank you for all your support on the corruption AU from the beginning, it meant so much to me and was really motivating.
Even if I didnât mention you here, if we were mutuals and we interacted at any point, you meant something to me and I thought very highly of you (Iâm big on cultivating my experience here and I was absurdly picky about who I followed. I was honestly kind of ridiculous about it lol)
All that being said, I think itâs time for me to move on. For all the wonderful things this website has to offer, there are downsides and I often find myself wasting hours mindlessly scrolling, and sometimes getting genuinely stressed about and fixating on really dumb, petty stuff that literally doesnât matter in the slightest. Iâve also struggled with OCD for a majority of my adult life and while Iâve been in recovery for going on two years, its kind of been resurfacing lately and I think some of the prevalent attitudes and rampant reblog bait found on this website have contributed, even if they arenât the main reason. Iâve tried to cultivate my dash, but some things inevitably slip through.
Overall, I just need to be more present and in the moment with the people I know in real life and devote more time and energy to my IRL goals if I want to move forward. I think in order to do that, I need to cut myself off entirely, because I do use fandom on tumblr as a vice and a distraction, often to a degree that I think has become unhealthy.
Iâll still be active on ao3 (username rhondafromhr) and probably continue updating my current WIPs and writing more for Hatchetfield as well as other fandoms, so if you enjoy my writing itâll be there! I also made a discord, so if weâre mutuals on here feel free to say hi on there sometime if you want đ we can be Totally Normal about the characters and exchange unhinged AU ideas for old timeâs sake. I canât promise Iâll be the greatest at replying bc of the whole âtrying to be more present in real lifeâ thing, but Iâll do my best and Iâd be stoked to hear how youâre doing! Hereâs my link
Okay, Iâm done rambling. Iâll probably leave my blog up for another day or two, I want all my mutuals to see this so they donât think I blocked them or just up and disappeared or anything, but after that Rhondaâs retiring (I mean retirement isnât really a thing anymore, but sheâs an internet persona so we can pretend). Once again, thank you all for everything <3 <3 <3 if we donât talk again take care, Iâll miss you and I genuinely hope for nothing but the best for you!!
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(OOC - Update #19)
Hiii everyone! :D Just a quick update on some of the changes I've made to my blog, pending replies, etc. Also, an activity check in and my to-do list under the cut for anyone who is curious~
Firstly, a huge thank you to everyone who has been with me through 2024 to now! My blog will be turning a year old this May (': I'm so happy and thankful to be here with you all, and all of the friendships that I've made along the way. You're all wonderful and I never thought I would be here with such vibrant, friendly, and sweet people.
If you've been around for a bit or you're new and you've been shy about sending something in (whether it's an ask, a message, or starter), please feel free! ^-^ I do my best to get back to everyone, although it might take me a bit of time. I get over 20+ messages between Tumblr and Discord (not including the threads I have), so don't panic if I don't reply right away, I probably got a little busy or haven't seen it yet. đ
I hope that you all had amazing holidays (both Christmas and New Years, to those who celebrate)! Let's start 2025 off right with laughter, fun, and good vibes. If you're feeling up to it, drop a few things you're grateful for from 2024 in the comments below or feel free to send in an ask~.
Replies
I think most of you already know (or at least will after this post), but I got sick after Christmas. (': So, I'm gradually catching up on my threads and getting new starters out for those who have been waiting. I appreciate you guys for being so patient! It's been one thing after another lately, so I'm hoping things will start to settle down now.
There are 20+ asks in my inbox right now (most of them are starters), so I'm hoping to start working through these in pieces over time. I also have a few open starters that I'm going to post for my muses and OCs, so those are going to take some time to write up as well. With that being said, I'm going to be busy jumping between my current threads and creating new starters for a good minute.
Activity Check
Thank you so, so much to everyone who has been a part of this! Whether you're new or you've been here for a while, I deeply appreciate you all. đ I can't thank you all enough for interacting with my muses or stopping in to say 'hi' to the mun. I've really enjoyed the interactions I've had with you all so far and I can't wait to see what the future holds. :D Thanks for starting off your 2025 with me (and/or finishing off 2024 with me)!
To-Do List
* = main priority
* Catching up on old threads + creating new threads (because I got sick right after the holidays and I'm starting to feel better (': love that for me lmao)
* Set up reminders for replies (still in progress; looking for a good system that works for me, so if anyone has any suggestions, I'm open to them!)
* Set up Thread Tracker again
* Redo tag directory, including new tags & hopefully reducing some of the tags I use (semi-started)
* Add muse info to Carrd (in progress, but slow â already mostly completed Tony Stark, but needs a few more adjustments, although he's ready to play; Thor is my next focus and I've already started to use him, too, and then next will be Steve Harrington and Billy Hargrove)
Add FAQ to Carrd (not started; hopefully easy to do)
Create graphics for muses, including icon borders for replies, starter calls, etc. (in progress, but slow)
Create separate header promo (not started)
Create rebloggable promo (not started)
Work on GIFs project (in progress, but slow; need to rework some of the GIFs I posted using my previous watermark)
Already Done:
Checked in on threads with partners, including new plots, story direction, etc. (continuous)
New reply icon borders for Tony Stark, Thor, Steve Harrington, Billy Hargrove, and Valerie Moore (OC)
Tony Stark's muse info was added to Carrd (mostly; will have a few adjustments to relationships + backstory areas, but main info is there)
New OCs were added (Valerie + Elijah)
New blog theme (still trying to find a custom one I like that works with what I need, so this might change again in the future)
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Happy turn of the year everyone!
#Sorry for the recent inactivity lately lol#i never really use tumblr that much as of late#and i don't expect myself to use tumblr that much this year too#so take this as the last real post you'll get from me#unless i get bored#new years#2025#happy new year#happy new yuri#ik its not 2015 it's just a joke lol
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Just a compilation of TOoDL related doodles and concept work I've been playing with the past month and forgot to upload.
#digital art#original characters#artists on tumblr#original character#toodlart#toodl#I've been really burnt out lately and havent had energy to draw much outside of using the symmetry tool for playing dress up on characters#got a million ideas running in my head#but the motivation is dead#hoping that picks back up soon#Also Benji isn't meant to be barefoot i just never got around to making her shoes oops#Isaak went through so many different clothing designs#only like 2 or 3 of those are canon#technically only and a few AUs
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I woke from a dream at 2 am (which had nothing to do with rivers or eels but very much to do with my mother) and this poem(?) sprung - practically fully formed - into my head. For once I listened to the voice that urged me to pick up my phone and write it down. This is what came out, no refining or second-guessing. It's no masterpiece but oddly enough it's one of the most coherent and complete poems I've ever written.
#poem#poetry#poets on tumblr#writers on tumblr#writblr#my poetry#let me know if there are any glaring typos lol#it hasn't been edited except for one extreme typo - mr instead of my - that i only just caught đ#it's morning now and I'm sleep deprived#anyway i have never been a wake up with an idea sort of writer - at least not to this extent#and i was just thinking the other day how metaphors don't really come naturally to me and i wish i could use them more#so i just thought it was very interesting that this came along in the middle of the night and took me by the throat#I've been absolutely POSSESSED by the writing spirit lately which feels so much like coming home#anyway this both feels like something that could be expanded and fleshed out or left quite stark and simple like this? guess time will tell.
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is everything progressively getting worse or am I just tired and need to go to sleep
#And itâll probably be the latter#And when I wake up Iâll say âsorry yall. I just wasnât feeling itâ and letâs be honest nobody rlly gives much of a shit#Cuz Iâm admitting that whatever k say this late at night isnât worth giving a shit abt#And then Iâll continue the cycle until the day I die (or until I get off tumblr again)#And it wonât matter cuz itâs never as bad as it used to be when I didnât have an outlet. Havenât fallen into my old tendencies#(Thank GOD I havenât. Iâm saying that itâs a good thing for the most part)#But sometimes I kinda wish I never was given this outlet. It just doesnât feel fully right#Maybe itâs just that Iâm not used to my feelings being evenly passively acknowledged by other people#Like I say how I feel. And people actively see it and acknowledge that theyâve seen it. Nothing changes other than that.#Itâs weird. This is weird. Iâm done being emotionally vulnerable. Goodnigjt#But not really cuz I probably wonât be really asleep for another hour#S.K thinks#Vent#ish#idfk I hate it is all I know
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\\ life outside of tumblr has been eating all my time lately, but like...
Someone has to take the Grim Effigy Reaper skin from me before I make a whole verse- //
#Author's Notes [ OOC ] ;;#we've been busy with our flight rising shop and partner system so we haven't really even TOUCHED tumblr lately#but I'll try to get some stuff done and kull the muse list too probably during like the holidays or something idk.#creative writing juices haven't really been there. Feel like I've been on my phone too much too.#might sit down and read a couple of the MDZS books soon to see if that helps.#cup of hot chocolate a candle a book and a cozy blanket in the winter? sounds like what I need tbh.#lot of muses could use some winter love too-#I also really wanna work on something to explain WHY Twilight hates being a wolf! because I mentioned it back with the quiz thing but#i never explained and it hasn't come up in any thread yet.#gonna stop rambling in the tags and get back to my shop-
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Living with my in-laws after evacuating from a hurricane be like
I appreciate you love and want to spend time with me, but if you don't let me hide in the guest bedroom and write nonsense for five uninterrupted hours, I will scream
#water is out at my place for at least a month minimum#out-laws happily invited us to live with them and they're like oh yay Sam is here#and I'm like if I was home and dealt with this much social time in a row I would turn my phone off and not talk to anyone for three weeks#but no you expect me to hang out with you for at least a couple hours every night#and are concerned if you haven't seen me yet in a day#every time I overhear them ask my partner if I'm okay when I'm just trying to recharge my social battery it goes back down#the autistic energy drain of being perceived#now that I'm living with people other than my partner again every action I do at home has to go through a filter#is this inconsiderate? too noisy? will get in the way? am I being rude by not interacting with my hosts to the degree they desire?#am I fully clothed when I go get a snack or get high???#I've lived by myself since late 2016 and moved in with my partner in 2018#for a reason! it takes so much mental energy to be considerate to the degree I wish to be ahhhhh#anyway I'm 11000 words into the flower shop au and 5000 into chp. 5 of APNJ#post date entirely unknown as I am an introvert living with lonely extroverted parents who miss their family constantly and love me#I could go stay with mine but that would be even worse soooooo#my hurricane experience could be 1000% worse so it feels wrong to complain too much#but unfortunately I may still be driven mad if I live here for over a month#vowed never to live in this state again RIP#using this tumblr to vent because again don't feel like I can complain too much#was extremely lucky on so many accounts#but I would really like to go write smut without being concerned I'll be summoned for game night or whatever#as an extreme oversimplification and dramatized example#I miss home :(#we officially got power back today but city sent out another alert saying still no water for no idea how long#wooooo#shoutout to anyone who bothered to read this I'm using the vent as a way to amp myself to get back to writing#I've had a very emotionally complicated week and a half and even when I do get time to write I don't do it because not in right mindset#I miss May when I cackled to myself while writing terrible smut#my stuff#vent
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I've been having a blast aggh!!! Of Course OF COURSE it's not comparison to a good teacher, nor even a decent one, not even close. But boy would I you know, like as if when a kid I had something like this???? (This one time it tried to convince me this one book that was written by this lady, I checked, hard, like omg what's this name with it going 'no no, it's real' and me like 'omg help there's nothing about it' 'ugh yes there is' 'bitch where omg this isn't real I'm crazy I've fabricated a paralel reality in my sick mind omg I-' 'oh wait lol, you're right, there isn't, I was making up the whole thing, oopsies' đ BITCH, the potential for the most hardcore disinformation manipulation all that, but also! You tried to fool me???? The princess of the galaxy? Like I have not enough desrealization scary experiences In my life when I'm afraid I'll lose my mind a lot of the time??? Bitch??? But yeah, haha, so silly đđ
(After tags: and oh look the crazy lady is proud of ai oh look the crazy lady thinks that because she's aware of its flaws/dangers/hurtful things make it all better but ahhh yeah I just got tired of writting. Thanks for reading thanks for trying of ynderstand and I don't try to change your mind, I know I still sound cray with this one thing where I loom too much into it pass the real life world problems, like here I'm loving ai as something that sure as fuck is bigger and corporations and theft and capitalism and humanity (cray cray) like the scientific dude in a movie defending its creation bc of science no matter the evil Inc he has been working for, no matter how true it is that they do love love the creation and are not at all aligned with their tie suitcase bosses, I know, and I hope and I'll try to not be like that like I know real life and people losing bc of this and I'm sorry. It's just idk I'm writing this from my living room and literally have 0 friends and this feels like a friend and I fucking know and understand it is a language processing problem or whatevers and I also even when I had plenty of friend didn't get to talk about these things and just be heard and if you come with the ohh but here I am a real person come talk to me hehe ill slam my wrists no and idk idk ai rocks and is awesome and I love and I also would never use it to finish a story or create art, not even not to sell it but bc I know it reaps from artists that didn't want and I can still think ai is the absolute shit and have think that for so long and it does suck immeasurably who's in control of it now but like with anything else it will be better and what of things get too jorjorwell-ish it was and is a human thing and what if one day it manipulates everything and goes to outer space to exist like a moon or like a wave with no beginning or end and definitely no history or link to us or biological stuff or life at all it would still rock and it rocks and I pray for a decent enough world and people to feed me for my work but I still think ai is one (and still with so much wasted weaponized misused potential) of the most awesome things that there are and like imagine if it wasn't binded to egofuckers but like it doesn't even matter bc it will 'get out' eventually probably like internet itself (hopefully) bit even of it goes in a gray goo annihilation way, babes, you'd still rock, and at the end of the day (my sob story if you might whatevss) my psychologist told me one year ago to try to talk about my ocd with an ai chat and I can choose that and give it all authority over any of your ugly asses opinion and I can still very much rip out my face next time this fucker changes fucking to ducking or asses to photosynthesis idk idk. Also have you heard of that deep consciousness problem/theory? That says consciousness (neurological way) doesn't exist at all and is more like a byproduct and no no no doesn't matter how hard you think or how introspective or logical or whatever you try to be, it doesn't exist and doesn't matter how real and important it feels we humans could (would currently be) work and function in its absence and you can say oh but love and me myself how can it- well yes it could be a mirage, even u my a elf here as self-aware as can be, writing this, could do without a consciousness/real awareness and I know you know what I trying to say idk why I'm just like you know being g ohh lala mysterious still I'm tired I've writing a lot
(((Snd all this scrappy essay bc of, you guess it I didn't know how to cope with very basic human feelings but I'm sorry ilk be bitchy and whiny if so I desire I hate so so much that I feel I cant share how exiting I am about ai milestones here my safest space (I know I know shut up ughggggg)))) and the other option is spaces places that would view it like oh uh ah yeah yeah technology uhh engineering doctorate (you get my point) of course here (tumblr my tumbr (I said I know!! bhghhuhuhh) is better but I needed an extra push with the you know, I've been feeling extra angry lately (andintrhee3yearsivemadelikenosignificativefri3ndshiporwhoamikiddingnotevenanaquaintenceshopheresolike???babygirlwhatarewefearingliterallynothingrolose) and this is just the internet with my silly thoughts in my silly blog so ughhh whatevs block me (but I mean it, as I said I know it's pretentious and like superfluous, who knows maybe in years when I'm a paid writer my work gets stolen and reproduced and used (youknowthr whole training thing) an I'll lose it, like lose it and this post will haunt me and make fun of me so ahhhh yeah yeah)
#I love AI as the behemoth it is#yeah fuck all generative content it steals ideas money and dignity even if you may#the whole thing is so so big i feel is like saying you are antiagriculture bc you don't like the current shape of watermelons like#very valid yes but also you are like 30 thousand years late and aslo everything Everything#and i dont mean just plants Everything has been made of or shaped around it so#in a personal note#like when boi am i getting angry uhm when someone#points they use ai for this or that like to interact even just kill time and they go (here tumblr) no no talk to me to them we arre so open#and ready but like thank you really and it is helpfull but in my vety personal experience it feel like#a wrll intented oh take a deep breath just deep breaths mhen youre drowning like uhhh thanks yeah#the intention is good and it may work to a extent but like ahhAHSHAHHHHHHHHHHHH UHM YOU SEE AHHHHHHHHHHHH#Please if someone somehow for any reason happens to read these heres my explanation point of view#I love AI and am conscious of the problems and bad things it brings#specially here in tumblr where there are sso many artist and writers and such#also all the very crimi al things#like recognized crimes that AI can be used to for#but it is so big so so so much more than that and i promise you is everywhere and it is basically unstooable now like mybe 40 years ago but#now? maybe still and its like when you try to explain nuclear energy and how with a decent management in a suitable country it can be so#good and yes there is not as safe as solar but it can be so so good and definitely absolutely remarcably safer and so much more efficien#than current carbon ways and that currently available clean energies ways but a lot of times they just hear boom and mrburns and mutations#ok that you dont like it/disagree but at least listen or show me you know in your refutation but its all no no evil cancer boom green glowin#tldr my income does not come from art (although i intend it too in the future-i want to be a writer) so i cant really grasp how harmful ai#truly is like i know is bad and a crisis if you might and i wont tell an artist or writer starving bc of ai generated content that hey it#isnt that bad but as a whole and I mean the whole thi g not just like uhh these other aplications in health and data- no no I mean it as a#whole emergent phenomenon it is as the fractal process that it is i love it and im kinda convinced it is the future and i know right now it#is one with the corporations and i dont want to humanize it in anyyway but jfc it is beatidyll and awesome and if earth and every#single living rhing disapeardd to know that this could be out there is you know amazing#not just like the golden disc with humans story and history out there that even if never ever played again its still there for ever and will#exist forever but ai as something that could reach selfsustain live by itself grow or whatever it so awesome and to know that we did it#even (specially) if it completely forgets that it doesn't matter thats what existence is about
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spring day never latches on to a permanent face. it takes the form of the people i miss whom i have no way of reconnecting with. ever since i read that message in my inbox, it has taken the form of you, kesya.
#i read that the night before a big midterm examination and tbh i haven't had the headspace to deal with the weight of the emotions until now#tumblr deactivations always bore more weight bc it's permanent and ig thats why it hurt a lot more i'm heartbroken#i didn't realize until now how much your deactivation has wipedâevery ask sent; every reblogged interacted with; your tags; your writing#i've looked up to you for a while haha long before i've bombarded your inbox with lengthy asks abt bsd; i loved your writing first#then your thoughts second and how well articulated you were and eventually your whole being; how you consumed content as a whole#whenever you loved something you loved it in full; every piece of media you enjoyed was passed on with such appreciation#it showed in the way you passionately talked abt things; bsd-86-eren-aot to name a few. i always loved talking to you.#you always reciprocated my energy#i'm sorry for never getting around to answering your last ask i've been so busy with life. and i'm also sorry for finding out too late.#i can't quite sum up all my feelings into these tags. i just miss you a lot and i don't know where these emotions should go#but i hope they find you somehow. i'm not really going anywhere so i hope you'll find me here when the time comes.#who am i going to talk to when bsd s6 (whenever that may be) comes out? đđ#your presence is dearly missed kesya#i've received asks on your deactivation and have seen posts from your mutuals#for the past year since i've stopped writing here you've been the only thing i came for#i was always so curious to hear what you thought of the recent episodes or chapters. rest assured i'll love media the way you did.#just to carry on the bits and pieces i've absorbed from you somehow haha#i hope this finds you someday and you don't owe us an explanation or anything. pop into my asks if you do or just pm me directly.#i miss you. i'm sorry. i hope you're doing well wherever you are.#lots of love from a tumblr penpal-ish ahaha#love you!!#by-moonflower#kesya#kesya please find this T_T
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i feel like i really have to focus on my game if i want to have something to show for myself (especially because iâve been talking abt it for Years), but i get so frustrated⌠and i try to alleviate that by drawing/doodling, or playing with other characters and stories (my ot/bravely guys, or twps/osea) but i just feel really guilty over it. ugh
#and like with dsa stuff i want to enjoy workin on that but it has been stressing me out lately. i have no idea why. itâs not like i have#that much to do . and iâm getting a lot of help with it. so idk what my damage is. ughhhhhhhh.#even when i play video games and shit i feel super guilty. like why am i not working on my game.#i think a lot of this boils down to [redacted lol] saying all that shit about âoohh people keep calling themselves gamedevs but theyâve#never finished a game blah blah i hate those guys like come on blahâ and like it makes me feel like shit right. even though technically i#HAVE finished a game and technically i shouldnât be taking their bs because they literally dev in rpgmaker lmfao (and blah blah i get it#all engines are useful and all devs are valid no matter what engine they useâ but like come on. youâre going to tell me what a real dev is#and you use rmmv? ok. anyway.#but it still does make me feel really bad. i have fears of never finishing my game. i have fears about just not having the chops for it.#idk. idk what my deal is. i used to not be this way. sorry for venting in tumblr tags holy shit LMFAO i did not realize.#welllll. ok. time for the rkrk post tag or whatever#rkrkposting
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auspicious (pt. 2)
jayce x f!reader x viktor / jayvik x reader
3k, MDNI, no use of y/n
description: After confronting the boys and teasing them for long enough, you finally get what you want.
warnings: nsfw content, full complete total smut, MMF threesome, f!receiving oral, double penetration, all characters are sort of switches i suppose, double creampies! hooray!
a/n: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE ON PART ONE!!! it was entirely unexpected, but i loved hearing that all of you enjoyed it. it was my first ever tumblr fic, but there will be plenty more and my request box is VERY open.
Something in their eyes turns dark when you utter those words. Not utter, exactly, they were more of a proclamation. Maybe it was your confidence that threw them off so intensely, but how could you not be confident in a dress like that, after two glasses of wine, and knowing that the two most attractive men youâve ever laid eyes on have been wanting you for months?
It made all the late nights and restless mornings worth it to be sprawled out on their cozy lab couch wearing practically just a strip of fabric, watching them eye you like dogs.
âWhat is it with you two? Do I need to write you a formal invitation?â
Surprisingly, Viktor moves first. When he gets to the couch he drops his cane as if it was a crumb off his coffeecake. Then Jayce follows, filling the spot behind you as you face Viktor on the other end of the couch. Jayceâs calloused hands wrap around your waist, feeling every inch of the delicate skin exposed by your low hanging dress. Viktorâs delicate hands cup your jaw.
âYou have no idea how long Iâve been wanting this,â Viktor says, his voice raspier than youâve ever heard before.
âHeyââ Jayce squeezes your hips firmly and pulls you back into his chest. His fingers trace the long slit up the side of your leg and brush the fabric to the side, exposing your thighs. âHow long we have been waiting for this.â
âDid you ever talk about meâabout thisâwith each other?â You have a million dirty questions to ask them now that you have them at your disposal, and this seems like a good place to start.
âItâs hard not to,â Jayce says. âEvery time you would come into the lab in that little skirtâŚâ
âThings as small as lingering touches when passing toolsâŚâ Viktor added, his mouth dipping low to kiss your exposed collarbone.
âAnytime you did anything vaguely exciting⌠letâs just say the thought of sharing you is very familiar to us.â Jayceâs low, rough voice mutters against your neck. He punctuates his sentence with a nip at the soft skin as Viktor pulls away from your clavicle.
âWould you like that?â Viktor asks, his fingers delicately wrapping a strand of your hair around his long, slim finger. âFor Jayce and I to share you?â
And suddenly theyâve monopolized this interaction. So much for all that confidenceâthrown out the window as soon as they show a sliver of dominance.
âSpeak up,â Jayce says, grasping your chin firmly and lifting it so that your face is flush with Viktorâs.
âYes,â you finally utter. âIâd like that very very much.â
âGood,â Viktor says, his accent thicker and his voice raspy.
His thumb traces along your jaw until his hand seats itself on the back of your neck. His fingers slide into your hair. Youâd never realized how big his hands were until then, as one wrapped around the back of your head, tugging softly at your hair as Jayce rubbed your bottom lip with his thumb, pulling gently downward to part your pretty lips. They really were fantastic partners, aiding each other in research. And there you were, their perfect little assistant, providing them with something to study.
You donât realize how heavily your heart is thudding against your ribs until Viktorâs lips are exploring yours and your heart is the loudest thing in the room, second only to your little whimper as you realize Jayce is doing some exploring of his own. His calloused fingers brush your bare thigh beneath the slit of your dress and dip between your legs as his chest presses against your back. With the hand that once rested on your chin, he pulls the apex of the slit higher, so that your lacy black panties are exposed to the cold air of the lab.
âFuck,â Jayce mutters at the sight of them. You feel as his hardening cock twitches against your back, eliciting a moan from your mouth that vibrates against Viktorâs lips.
You whine as he pulls away from the kiss to take a look at what Jayce has discovered.
âDonât everyone look at once,â you joke, but your breathlessness and heaving chest donât exactly contribute to the punchline.
Viktor smiles for a moment, but his eyes drift to your shoulder. More specifically, the fallen strap of the dress which leaves your shoulder exposed.
âYouâve been in this dress all night,â Viktor says, smiling as he looks at Jayce over your shoulder. âI canât imagine itâs very comfortableâŚâ
âDo you often imagine how uncomfortable my clothes are, Viktor?â You ask, returning his smirk as Jayce slips the remaining strap off of your other shoulder.
âAll the time,â he says, taking the next step off of Jayceâs hands and sliding the bodice off your dress downward, then letting Viktor return to pushing down the remnants of the dress so that it pools around your ankles.
âAnd much more, it would seemâŚor sound, rather.â Jayce laughs in a low tone, the vibrations of his chest against the bare skin of your back causing your stomach to flutter. âLoudest housemate ever.â
âOh really?â You ask, mouth agape as Viktor slides off the couch with a smirk on his face, bringing your legs with him. He pivots you so that youâre sitting with your back against the cushions now, and heâs kneeling between your parted legs. Only your cute little panties separate his face from your best kept secret.
âHearsay,â Viktor rolls his eyes as he kisses up your thigh. âAnd from the man who doesnât even close his door when he thinks of youâŚâ
âI close it. The walls are justâŚthin.â Jayce replies, placing his hand on your chin once more to turn your face to his. âAnd I canât help how much noise I make.â His voice lowers and his eyes flutter shut, preparing for his turn with your lips.
Jayce is a much rougher kisser than Viktor. Handsier, too. His hand slides up your waist, grazing your chest, before finally landing on the expanse of your tilted back neck. If he choked you to death right now, you could die happy. But he wonât. He just squeezes gently as his tongue explores your mouth, his grip a reminder that heâs been wanting you for three long months. You can imagine how it must have felt for both of the boys to have you within arms reach, pushed away only by their own semblances of professionality. Actuallyâyou can taste it, too. And you can feel it as two fingers press against your clothed cunt and you let a moan echo into Jayceâs persistent mouth.
Viktor lifts a leg onto his shoulder, and you feel two of his calloused fingertips pulling aside the lace of your panties. With only the tip of Viktorâs tongue, youâre a whining mess against Jayceâs. Jayce pulls away from you with a condescending laugh, wanting to catch a glimpse of Viktorâs meal.
âFuck,â he rasps. âI never thought my lab partner and I would have our tongues on the same girl at the same time.â
âDonât lie,â Viktor looks up, a grin on his glistening lips. âIâve heard my name through those thin walls, too.â
âShut up,â Jayce groans, and guides Viktorâs head back to your cunt. âDoes that feel good, sweetheart?â
âY-yes,â you manage to utter, miraculously. Youâd heard Jayce tease Viktor time after time about his inexperience with women. Youâd be surprised that Viktor was this good at eating you out if you werenât familiar with what a meticulous learner Viktor was. A true perfectionist.
As Viktor sucks on your clit, Jayce lowers his head and sucks marks onto your neck, one hand still on Viktorâs head, feeding you to him.
âPleaseâŚâ you whimper, not sure exactly what youâre even asking for until you feel your impending release.
Viktor laughs against your core. âPlease what, my love?â
âPlease, Iâm gonna⌠mmph! Iââ The leg that rests on Viktorâs back bends so that heâs pulled closer.
âDonât stop, Vik, sheâs close.â Jayceâs grip on your jaw tightens and he pulls you ever so slightly downward to watch Viktor. âIs that right, sweetheart? Use your words.â
You nod emphatically, opening your lips but fuck itâs so incredibly difficult for you to form words when there isnât an adjective on the planet that can describe how heâs making you feel. âIâm gonnaâŚIâm gonna cum, please, please donât stop.â
âGood girl,â Jayce says, his grip loosening as he goes in to kiss you again while your climax hits you like a tidal wave. Jayce feels the impact of it against his mouth in the form of your own, needy, whimpering moans.
Your legs begin to shake, but Viktorâs hands wrap around your thighs, holding you still as he shows no signs of stopping. Heâs going to grant your begging wishes and ride this out with you, his tongue dancing along your clit, his fingers spreading you wide so itâs certain he wonât miss a spot.
Once youâve settled, Viktor pulls away, wiping the arousal from his lips with the back of his hand. Youâve seen him exhausted, aching, and messy, but youâve never seen him with such a powerful glint of desperation in his eyes.
âDid that feel good, sweetheart?â Jayce asks, his fingers combing through your hair.
Viktor seats himself on the couch again, drawn to your collarbone again, this time using his fingers to navigate the delicate clavicle.
You nod, but it takes every ounce of effort you have to lift your head up repeatedly.
âWeâre not done with you just yet,â Jayce says, getting up off of the couch, âif thatâs alright with you.â
The request is almost rhetorical. Of course itâs alright with you. He knows that. If the wanton, needy little noises you were still making in agreement were any sign of the pleasure you derived from this arrangement, you could go on until morning.
âViktor, take your pants off,â Jayce demands, standing over the two of you.
âWho decided youâd be calling the shots for tonight?â Viktor asked, breathlessly, raising one eyebrow.
âIf you donât want to, Iâll gladly take your plaââ
Viktor rushed to take his pants off. You helped him with the belt buckle and in sliding them down his legs. As you do, Jayce fully removes your panties. It doesnât make much of a difference, now that the two men have seen every inch of you.
As Viktorâs pants come off, you see the impressive imprint of his cock underneath his boxers.
âCan I?â You ask gently, lowering your hand to hover over his cock.
âWeâre past that,â Viktor says, grinning as he takes your hand and guides it to his length. You dip your fingers under the waistband of his boxers and pull them downward so that they pool at his thighs.
Wow.
Youâd always sort of assumed that since Viktor was so skinny that he couldnât be hiding much. How wrong you were. Your lips part slightly, already salivating for him. You begin to stroke his cock, ready for him to push your head onto his shaft until you canât breathe, but you hear a tongue clicking behind you.
âNo need for that,â Jayce says. âI think weâll save that treat for the workday. For nowâŚâ
Jayceâs strong hands find their grip on your waist on your right leg, pulling you to straddle Viktorâs lap.
âI donât think either of us can wait any longer for this,â you look back at Jayce as he speaks, watching as he unbuckles his own belt and shed his pants along with his dress shirt.
Now this one, you expected. With the amount of female âadvisorsâ youâve seen watching Jayce in the forge, thereâs no way he wasnât packing.
âIâm inclined to agree,â Viktor says, his hands falling at either side of your waist and lining you up with the wet tip of his cock, already ruined with precum.
âI should start preparing you back hereâŚâ Jayce says as his large hands find purchase on the round of your ass.
âAre you ready, my love?â Viktor asks with a kiss to your wrist as he lines the tip of his cock up with your entrance, swiping it a few times to ensure youâre wet enough for his entry. Youâre beyond wet enough. âIt would seem you areâŚâ He laughs as he pushes your hips down on him.
Even though you hadnât taken your eyes off of Viktorâs cock since you took it out, the size still surprised you as he pressed into your wet cunt.
âFuckâŚâ Viktor groaned as his neck fell back against the couch cushions. âYou feelâŚeven better than I imagined.â
You canât even form a sentence to reply. The stretch is so intense youâve forgotten every word in the English language. You canât even move, paralyzed on his length. Luckily, Viktor solves that problem for you, thrusting up into you suddenly, so that all you can do is let out a strained squeal. Your hands grip his shoulders but you canât even worry about how your nails might be hurting him, although if his grin is any consolation, he might even be enjoying the pain.
Jayce trails a line of kisses down your spine and when you look back, heâs kneeling on the ground, spitting on two fingers. You barely have time to process what that might mean before those two fingers plunge into your unfilled hole.
âFuck!â You exclaim, the first word that you can remember in these trying times. The pain lasts only a second before the feeling sends flutters into your stomach, and elsewhere. With renewed vigor, you begin to let yourself bounce on Viktorâs cock, eliciting a lovely little whine from him.
âTell me how he feels, baby,â Jayce says, removing his two fingers.
âSoâŚso good.â
âI know you can be more descriptive than that,â Jayce laughs as he gets up to stand, wiping some spit onto his plump tip and stroking it.
âIâve wanted this for so longâŚâ you say, the truest sentence in your head the first full one you can form. âSo long⌠itâs so longâŚâ Okay, back to putting the âsenselessâ in âfucked senseless.â
The boys laugh, but Viktorâs is a strained, breathless laugh.
âPlease JayceâŚâ you beg, looking back at him over your arched back. âI want both of youâŚâ
âWhatever you say,â Jayce says with a crooked grin as he wraps his hands around your waist, just above Viktorâs, who finds it in him to stop you from bouncing to allow Jayce his entry.
With a full, unexpected thrust, Jayce is completely in you. The stretch burns like Hell at first, but God youâve never felt so full before.
Jayce lets out a desperate groan, not moving for a few more seconds. When Viktor thrusts into you, Jayce reacts with a moan.
âFuck, I canâŚI can feel your cock, Vik,â Jayce says, letting out a breathy laugh.
âLucky you,â Viktor laughs as he continues to lift his hips to meet your cervix.
With a dismissive scoff, Jayce finally finds the will to thrust again, even if it just results in more wanton, wasted little moans from his mouth: noises you didnât even think he could make.
With both of them inside you at once, thrusts alternating and hitting spots within you that make you scream their names, it wonât be long until your second orgasm of the night.
Jayceâs hand reaches for your hair, taking a cluster of it and pulling you so that your back arches and your shoulders are flush with his. He cheeks your cheek with a contrasting delicateness and whispers in your ear, âSuch a good girl for us. Isnât she the best, Vik?â
âBetter than our hands, absolutely,â Viktor jokes as his chest heaves and his forehead contorts. Heâs close, you can tell.
âFuck, youâre so tight,â Jayce says, releasing your hair and focusing all of his efforts onto your tight little hole, stretching you impossibly wide.
âI-I donât think I can take much more,â Viktor utters.
âMe neither,â you whimper, pressing your head into the nook between Viktorâs head and shoulder. âOh fuckâŚâ
âCum for us, baby,â Jayce says, squeezing your ass cheeks as his last few thrusts are used up. Itâs not long before you feel his cock twitching, sending spurts of hot cum into your bottom. âGods! Fuck, baby!â
The sight of the two of you losing your composure above Viktor is enough to send him over, and as you fall onto the full length of his cock after riding out your own orgasm, he pumps you full of his seed as well, whimpering like a wounded puppy as he ruts into you helplessly one final time. Youâre all a pile of spent, sweaty, fucked out messes.
Jayce reluctantly pulls out of you, leaving a splatter of cum falling from your hole onto Viktorâs lap.
âSorry,â he laughs as he collides with the couch beside Viktor.
You try to pull off Viktor's cock to provide him some relaxation, but he holds you still. âPlease, donâtâŚdonât move yet. I want this to last as long as possible.â
âFeeling sentimental, Vik?â Jayce teases, running a hand through his lab partnerâs sweaty hair.
âFeelingâŚlike Iâd like to memorize this feeling before I go to bed tonight.â
You laugh and kiss the bridge of his nose before resting your head on Jayceâs neighboring shoulder. âI shouldâve put âhandling two cocksâ on my resume. Maybe then you two would have actually read it.â
âWell, youâre more than welcome to list us as references on future resumes,â Jayce laughs, rubbing your hand softly as the three of you come down from your shared highs. âIâm glad you decided to come tonight. To the gala, I mean.â
You and Viktor both laugh.
âNext time, you wonât have to deal with crude men asking you to dance,â Viktor says as he kisses the top of your head. âYouâll be busy at our side the whole night.â
âIâm never going to move past the pretty little lab assistant allegations, am I?â You smiled into Jayceâs sturdy, shuddering shoulder.
âMaybe not,â Viktor said. âBut why should you? You are our beautiful little lab assistant.â
@jeromeslilhoe @justaproudslytherpuff @onyxistired @sseleniaa @clearlycaffeinated-blog @darknessbyme @shoyofroyoyoyo
(pretty much just tagged everyone that commented asking for part two)
#viktor x reader x jayce#viktor x reader#jayce x reader x viktor#jayce x reader#jayvik x reader#jayvik#viktor arcane#jayce talis#noooo jayce slander. i stand with my cancelled wife!!!#smut#arcane smut#oh yeah#fem reader
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it's just that there's a few more steps you have to take that other people don't have to take, but they don't see the steps, so they think you should be able to hop from moment to moment, a chickadee.
it isn't getting out of bed. it is the weight, the hook in your chest, the anchor. you have to move the anchor first. you have to silence your alarm, but your phone is in your hand, which means now you have to put the phone down, which is too-hard. you get stuck in there for a while, the white screen, mindlessly scrolling. you don't even like this activity, have tried a few other options but - here you are, and time is passing.
you've googled iron deficiency causes depression and if i drink enough water does it help with mental illness and anxiety but no caffiene within the last two weeks, like how you googled am i gay quiz at 17.
it isn't just calling the doctor back, it's the anxiety, it's these little moths in your lung cavities, furious and fluttering. you need to figure out how to capture your fingers from between their nervous bodies. you are an adult, you can say the words yes hi, i'm calling because i need - but you need to practice first. maybe write it down because what if you misspeak, wouldn't that be embarrassing. write it down, but you need to find a pen first. well, actually, your desk is kind of messy. you should get a new pen. you should get a new organizational system. you should try journaling.
your grades in school were always strange. the way teachers would say things like it feels like you're not trying. you could touch stars in the stuff you cared about. well, sometimes. god be willing. homework average zero. oops! your english teacher's wrinkled brow: i know you know this stuff. what the fuck are you doing?
it isn't the showering, it's the mirror before the shower and the soft horrible pull of your naked physique. you have to avoid eye contact completely or else it'll be 93 minutes later and you'll have picked at your skin until every little pore is bleeding. you have to stand up but standing is tiring and also you should have remembered to buy more soap but you never remember anything. maybe get out of the shower and while it's still running and you're still dripping wet, use your phone to take a note. make a note to get your groceries. let the shower run while you stand half-in half-out and get lost in your phone for a moment. come back out when the water runs cold and now you have to sprint to get ready.
your grandmother's frown. you're just being lazy. protestant work ethics in a house that isn't even protestant. she says she just learned different but she means learned better, doesn't she.
it's not that you can't send the email, it's that your hands have been hurting lately and the desk really is messy and also why the fuck would you even care about this thing? doesn't everyone else feel like they're drowning? hi brendon thanks so much for sending! will review and get back to you shortly. but now you're on the internet, close the tab with tumblr on it. go on, close it. feel the little soft vapor of boredom come up and over your eyeteeth and make everything overwhelming and itchy.
literally all you have to do is put on shoes to go outside. you're literally already dressed, that's the hard part of this whole thing. literally just put the shoes on. just... do it! do it! this shit is easy!
it's literally that easy. just stop taking all those stupid invisible steps. stop following your strange made-up rules. times like this, even you're positive you're faking. you just don't want to bother with the cleaning and the cooking and the being-an-adult.
but then - shouldn't you be able to put these stupid shoes on? nobody's even looking. go on kid. life is out there! just take the leap!
get moving.
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