#i never really got the indirect kiss thing but to each his own
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bisaster-energy · 9 months ago
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dude that grew up with siblings fails to recognize the significance of an indirect kiss and immediately gives the person they're eating with the wrong idea when they use their fork
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nina-ya · 3 months ago
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Hellooo might I suggest Sanji + "The problem is, if I kissed you, I don't think I'd be able to stop." ? 👀 ilu /platonic
A/N: you got me yearning for sanji you really have no idea what you've done Pairing: Sanji x Reder CW: None WC: ~700
You had offered to help Sanji with dinner preparations more often than not lately, finding any and every excuse to spend more time with him, to watch the way his hands worked with an elevated skill that was utterly captivating, and to lose yourself in the soft cadence of his voice as he hummed a tune under his breath. You sat at a nearby counter, your gaze fixed on Sanji as he moved with an almost otherworldly grace. 
Spices, cigarette smoke, and freshly baked bread that wafted from the oven all melted together to create a scent that can only be described as comforting. Each breath you took was laced with the essence of home, a sensation that settled in your chest and spread through your veins like liquid gold.
Sanji stood on the other side of the counter, opposite to you, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, revealing the defined muscles of his forearms. The light caught on his blond hair, gracing him with a halo effect. His fingers moved gracefully across the cutting board, the knife glinting with each pass through the vegetables. He briefly glanced up, catching your gaze, and that oh-so-charming smile spread across his lips, almost as inviting as the sunlight that filtered through the windows.
“You know, it’s dangerous to watch me like that,” he teased the words a soft caress that brushed against your senses. “A man might get ideas.”
You shifted in your seat, feeling the warmth of his attention spreading through your head to toe “And what kind of ideas are those?” you asked, your voice suggesting an underlying challenge that dangled between you two.
Sanji paused, setting the knife down on the counter with a small thud before leaning forward, hands braced on the counter, long springers splayed out, the distance between the two of you shrinking until it felt like the world was reduced to a small space that separated your bodies. “The problem is if I kissed you,” he said, voice low and smooth, “I don’t think I’d be able to stop.”
You could hear your own heartbeat in your ears, the quickened thump thump thump reverberating through your head as you held his gaze, feeling as if you were standing right on the precipice of something profound- something that had been simmering beneath the surface since the first night you’d stayed late to help him with the dishes. 
“What if I don’t want you to stop?” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper, the words that spill from your lips an indirect confession that hung between you two like a secret finally unveiled.  
A slow smile spread across Sanji’s lips, and he never once broke eye contact as he rounded the corner with long strides, and in only a moment, he was at your side. He reached out and you felt gentle fingers on your chin as he tilted your head up. “Then we might have a bit of a problem,” he murmured, leaning down to capture your lips in a gentle and consuming kiss. He tasted of cigarettes and the wine that he’d been sipping on as he cooked, a rich flavor that you want to taste over and over again. The kiss deepened, his lips coaxing yours to part and his tongue brushed against yours, sending a shiver down your spine as you let out a breathless whimper into his mouth. 
His hand cradled the back of your head, fingers anchoring you to him, refusing to let this moment slip away. You melted against him, your own hands finding purchase against his shoulders, feeling the warmth of his clothed body beneath his touch.
You felt the world blur as everything else faded away until there was only the taste of his lips, the heat of his body, the soft sighs and noises of contentment that escaped your throat as he kissed you like you were the most precious thing in the world.
You both knew that dinner preparations were long forgotten, but neither of you cared. This is what mattered, this single moment, and the knowledge that neither of you would ever want to stop.
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love-takes-work · 8 months ago
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WHAT WAS THIS SHOW ABOUT?
One thing I really love about Steven Universe is that each of the four major characters kind of got a chance to be What The Show Was About. I would have LOVED spending more time with all of them and delving into who they were and who they became beyond what we got, but what we got was . . . actually pretty special.
STEVEN
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As the ACTUAL main character and the show's literal namesake, it's obvious he's the protagonist. Our man has been through a lot and I don't suppose anyone would say he never got his moment considering he was there for the whole show. But except for some pretty important identity stuff that depended on his choices in the last episode of the OG show, a LOT of Steven Universe is stuff that happened to and around Steven. There was so much history and so much baggage that a lot of the story was about how he fended it off, dealt with it, fought it, reasoned with it, and managed everyone's emotions in the process.
Steven is set apart from the others in extraordinary ways: being half human, being extremely young, being Rose Quartz's son, and having Diamond-level powers and a claim to the Pink Diamond throne.
We had to wait for Steven Universe Future before the show was entirely focused on him, his development, his trauma, and his healing.
Some episodes from the original show focused on Steven's mental health and growth as a person--most notably "Mindful Education"--but we just didn't get to linger very long with his development until the epilogue show because plot stuff was always happening, other people's feelings were taking center stage, and worlds needed saving. I'm really glad we got Steven Universe Future for that reason. Some people disagreed, but I felt like it was a long overdue look into the soul of who he is--how his central defining character trait was his selflessness, and how desperately he needed to address that without having it manifest in a toxic way in the tradition of Jasper, White Diamond, or Pink Diamond.
AMETHYST
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It could be argued that Amethyst had the most careful, nuanced, significant character growth of the three supporting Gems in the show. And it started immediately in the first season, when she constantly squabbled with Pearl and revealed that she felt judged and stifled and treated like a misbehaving child as early as "Tiger Millionaire."
Amethyst is set apart from the others in extraordinary ways: She's the clear outsider as the one who didn't fight in the war, the only full Gem from Earth in the group, the only Gem who grew up with no Homeworld dogma but also no roots, the only Gem who'd never met another one of her own and longed on some level for that connection.
The show continues to check in with Amethyst's self-worth issues throughout, giving us "An Indirect Kiss," "On the Run," "Maximum Capacity," "Reformed," and even "Cry For Help" (which seemed like an Amethyst episode until Pearl did her thing). We get "Onion Friend" when Amethyst shows us she thinks she's boring and that nobody values her. And we get "Too Far" when Amethyst really starts to internalize her inferiority based on Peridot's assessment of her and revelations of her origin.
With her cooking on that, we end up spending a string of episodes with Amethyst as the focus character. She's still shaking off dust about not doing what she's supposedly made for when a fight with Jasper twists the knife. She's beaten and insulted and almost physically destroyed, having to be rescued by Stevonnie. Steven misguidedly tries to cheer her up by letting her win at video games and she reveals that she thinks she's "the worst Crystal Gem." She finds an ally in him but still wrestles with her inferiority to Jasper. And when she still can't beat her in a rematch, she breaks down and realizes her strength is in togetherness. From there, she begins the process of healing, helped along by additional support from her family and finding some connection with meeting the Famethyst. When "Tiger Philanthropist" comes along and reveals that Amethyst doesn't need the outlet of wrestling anymore because she DOES feel she's good enough, we can reflect on what she's been through and how far she's come, and how that leads to her being the one who doesn't fall apart on Steven in the face of huge revelations about his mother.
GARNET
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Garnet kind of peaked early, which is not to say it wasn't great. The final episode of Season 1 revealed her identity as a Fusion and further that she was "made of love," and then everyone was on the "Garnet is awesome" train.
Garnet is set apart from the others in extraordinary ways: being a Fusion all the time, leading the team and generally holding the others at an emotional distance, never asking questions, offering resources to the others for stability and balance, being the only Gem with Future Vision and a massive responsibility to use it well.
"Jailbreak" was a huge defining moment for Garnet, and as the "stable" character whose worst problems were mostly other people's problems, she did not seem to need a character arc. She was the culmination of a love story, always awesome and strong and dependable and everyone leaned on her, and in "Jailbreak" we found out why she has such an amazing foundation. But the show was not done with Garnet. Not by a long shot.
Pearl hurt her badly in "Cry For Help." Garnet's breakdown and subsequent focus on building Pearl back up was a significant look into how Ruby and Sapphire operate as a couple. Garnet is amazing partly because she is the result of all that work, but who is she as a person? As an individual who isn't an individual?
We see some of her struggle with leadership as the show moves on--most notably "Pool Hopping," and some of the last episodes when she can't make decisions in the Diamonds' shadow because everything's become about Steven's choices. But Garnet gets a spotlight again when Ruby and Sapphire feel differently about the Pink Diamond revelations and they worry Garnet only exists because of a lie. Digging into the real answers of who they are together through finally asking "The Question," and defining their fusion in their own image, was a move toward more authentic stability for Garnet. Her wedding made headlines, and watching her spearhead the immediate fight against the Diamonds on the beach was awe-inspiring.
PEARL
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Pearl is initially presented as "the perfect one"--she's persnickety, she's organized, she's hyper-competent, and she's all about rules. But something else is going on with her not far beneath the surface. The first Gem to die onscreen--because of overconfidence and a silly mistake. The first (full) Gem to cry onscreen (and then over and over and over), the first to have a breakdown (and then over and over and over), the only one of the four to have faced an impossible choice, a relationship that nearly destroyed her, and a secret that ate her up from the inside. She was the only one who had (nearly) the whole story. All along.
Pearl is set apart from the others in extraordinary ways: the oldest Gem of the group by far, the one who served a Diamond and kept Rose Quartz's secret against her own will, the one who doesn't eat, sleep, or shapeshift. The one who both sat at royalty's right hand and existed as the lowest form of Gem life--created to be a servant, with programming no other type of Gem must live with. Her anxiety, grief, and desperate loneliness makes her one of the most multifaceted and interesting characters in animation history.
We see some minor wigging out from Pearl in "An Indirect Kiss" and a more intense version of it in "Space Race," but we get a much clearer picture that Pearl is Not Okay in "Rose's Scabbard." At that point we assume she thought she was closer to Rose than she really was--that she thought herself special and partial to secrets no one else knew, but that it wasn't true. "Rose's Scabbard" is a different episode on rewatch. Pearl is right that she alone was the one Rose "told everything." She did have a special relationship with her that the others did not.
Pearl's insecurity continues to bite us in the face as the show goes on. She tries to mold Connie into a self-sacrificial super-soldier after her own image in "Sworn to the Sword." Her deep need for someone strong to tell her what to do leads her to betray Garnet in "Cry For Help." Her inability to appropriately make it up to Garnet further complicates our understanding of how she can be so lost. Her jealousy, inertia, and angst frustrate her relationships, with some nice resolution in "Mr. Greg." Peridot's lore drop about Pearls' slave status sheds light on this, and seeing her get underestimated and bossed around by other Homeworld Gems is disheartening as we move on, but when we finally find out that she was Rose's secret accomplice in a false murder that poisoned thousands of their own citizens and led to massive waves of death, and that Pearl's free will to speak about it was also ripped away from her, we finally know, we know why she's been so brittle she could snap all along. She's been trapped inside herself all this time--in an almost literal way--and it's a wonder she's managed to carry on. Pearl's arcs have often been deemed the most emotionally fraught and tinged with gray morality.
These characters all got some very important story arcs focused on them in the midst of moving the plot along. I think the show did a phenomenal job with not only emotional development but with fallout for the other characters. We got to see the Gems' (and other loved ones') reactions when Steven's mental health took a nosedive, and watched them learn more about how to be there for him. We got to see Steven's initially misguided attempts to hype Amethyst up when she was spiraling, leading to him offering her what she actually did need, along with Garnet and Pearl (as Sardonyx) misfiring a bit when they wanted to celebrate Smoky Quartz. We got to see Steven's curiosities and misgivings about Garnet's life as a Fusion, and how Garnet affects others when she does crack under the strain, and how Steven must step up to leadership when Ruby and Sapphire are separated and how Amethyst tries to take care of him while Pearl has a guilt spiral. And we see how Pearl's choices led to Garnet's silent treatment, Amethyst's sulky helplessness, and Steven's attempt to hold the family together; we see how Pearl's confession reformats everyone's understanding of who the Crystal Gems are and why they're even here.
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And even when the show is taking careful turns with each character to paint their nuanced feelings and troubles on the screen, it still managed to give us such a worthwhile overall story, with action and backstory and worldbuilding and everything. What's different about it is that the center was always its people--their relationships, their psyches, their evolution and education. I truly love the balance these creators chose, and I remain grateful that we got to experience this story.
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alexiethymia · 2 years ago
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he makes her feel selfless and she makes him feel selfish
attempt at a meta or rather more incoherent gushing about these two
I love the contrast of the above scene, how Vash is joyous, all-smiling. While Meryl is wrecked, in tears. Most often, it seems that’s how they also remember each other.
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Meryl likes to remember Vash happy and at peace. Vash remembers Meryl while she’s solemn and also a bit vulnerable. In a way, they inspire emotion in each other that’s hard for them to express. Vash has had a lot of sadness in his life, but while he will always wear a smile, I think he finds it harder to let himself be genuinely happy than to cry. Meanwhile, Meryl hates to cry. She hates to let down her guard and appear as if she can’t take care of herself, but with Vash, she really can’t help herself.
I ship WildeHopps (another goofy tall character hiding sadness with a smirk and a straight-laced, determined shorty. even their eyecolors are the same!) and I remember that there was a thing in the fandom about foxes that they can’t help but shout when they see their mate, and I don’t know how accurate the translations are, but even when they reunite again, Vash can’t help but shout out ‘Meryl!’ in happiness (seriously despite how surprised he was, he could’t help his smile. and he only called out meryl despite milly also being there, like rude, vash, if milly wasn’t such a sweetheart and loved you both to bits, but anyway, I digress…)
I really loved the fistbump (*cough indirect kiss cough*) scene so much because in asmuch as it was Vash comforting Meryl, it was also about him taking comfort in Meryl, which when we remember from his waterworks when Marlon called him out on it, he previously found really hard to do.
On Meryl’s side, we actually see that she has the same values as Vash. I love the Little Arcadia chapter/episode so much for this reason. Grandpa’s speech to Meryl about following your own path and your connection to your parents, resonated with her, but we as the readers also know that it’s something that would have also resonated with Vash. She wanted to resolve the conflict without anyone losing their life, and at first couldn’t understand why something like land would be more important than life. But push comes to shove, when she sees the resolve of someone to protect something, she puts her life on the line anyway. We even see traces of it in the anime with how she also shoots non-lethal shots, and that one time when she saved Vash, she shot the light to fall on the person instead of shooting the person. That sort of pacifism is present in her and Milly although they may not be as obvious about it as Vash, which is why despite himself, Vash finds himself growing closer to the girls and considering them as among his most important people despite the fact that he knew them only recently compared to the people from Home and Marlon. Even Milly’s principles regarding family bonds would also be something that would resonate with Vash, and it’s important that he was there in the shadows because I think that was the turning point in how he started to consider them his friends. So in a lot of ways, despite Meryl not wanting him to, I think Vash truly sees the vulnerability that she tries to hide. And I find it so believable and endearing that he would be drawn to her because of that similarity and connection between them.
they both inspire hope in each other
When I say that Vash inspires Meryl to be selfless, it’s in the way she will risk everything just so she can be there for Vash, to overcome fear and her own human limitations, just so she can hold him close. Vash (and through his connections with others like Luida) inspires in Meryl hope for a better world. At the same time, I always got the feeling that the type of love that Meryl felt was something she would be content to keep on giving to this person who always kept on giving to others, even when there was a chance that she would never get it back or have it returned. I imagine that she would have been fine with that as long as Vash felt that he was unconditionally loved.
When I say, Meryl makes Vash feel selfish, it is within the context that selfish for Vash is already a normal level or base desire of wanting to be happy in other people. I remember Legato’s observation of Vash, that he considered himself as having utterly no value in this world. Of course a person like that would be fine with dying!
But this person who considers himself worthless, eventually makes a promise like this.
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Vash must know that there’s a high likelihood he’ll die. Someone as self-sacrificial as him wouldn’t want anyone, much less a person he cares deeply for, to be hurt by him. And yet he makes this ‘selfish’ request of Meryl anyways. And it matters so, so much that he does. Because it shows that he can consider himself as someone who can make another person happy. It’s a promise to her, as well as to himself, that he won’t let himself simply die. He wouldn’t anyway because of how much he values Rem, but with this promise, it feels like his wanting to live is finally something he wants to do for himself, and not just as a continuation of Rem’s memory. Like with the fistbump scene, this promise was as much for him as for Meryl. I know he still would have fought to live and to protect humans, but at the same time, in the wake of Wolfwood’s death, I also felt that he would have been at peace should he have died trying. So this promise was to tether himself (to her). It’s something to keep him fighting to live now that he knows there’s someone out there waiting for him, by his own actions at that. More than that or simply put, it’s just a simple thing of allowing himself to want something or someone.
And this is how Meryl inspires hope in him. All this time he’s loved humans, but it always felt like he was living beside them and not with them. He doesn’t know what it is with Meryl, maybe her sheer stubbornness, but somehow she ends up representing that hope, that possibility of finally living together with humans (with her). In contrast to Meryl’s hope, it’s a very simple and humane one. To have someone care for him, to have someone wait for him, to have someone to come home to, to have someone who loves him. And it’s funny that it seems that Meryl expects nothing in return for her overwhelming love for Vash, because Vash actually meets her halfway. He’s the one to initiate the kiss. He’s the one to make the promise and have her promise. Finally, he’s taking the chance of his happiness into his own hands and doing something about it. I just, I really can’t with them. No wonder I ended up being vashmeryl trash.
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naehja · 2 years ago
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M!IK headcanons
Ifrit and Kalego are the only ones that Marbas listen when he’s in his wicked phase. One time Dantalion tried and Marbas offered him to "try his limits" with adorable smile. Dantalion laughed and said "lol not in mood for it today, but thanks, bye" and let Kalego and Ifrit deal with it.
Marbas also flirts a lot with Ifrit and is a lot more audacious about it. Does it mean that he turn into a dom? Totally. First time, Ifrit was very surprised, and was a blushing mess. Now he's very amused (and he still blushes).
One time, Marbas come near of Ifrit while Ifrit was in his wicked phase and get bite on the neck. Orias was like "nice hickey, lol" for days after that. It was before the beginning of their relationship. It was VERY embarrassing for both of them when Ifrit's Wicked Phase was over.
When Ifrit has a lot of paperworks to do, Marbas comes to give him coffee or tea. When it's during day, he'll return to hiw own work after that, but when it's during the night, he sits at his side and they speak. Often Marbas offers to help.
When there are no paperworks, they can play games, speak about students, or personal life. They often share childhood stories or stuff like that. Sometimes they play games (until Cerberus eats the console).
They sometimes train together and all the other teachers are like "hu they're really flirting now :/?"  (but for demons, sometimes, flitring and fighting are the same thing). Sometimes our two demons don't even realize it and often the training finishes with one of them pinned to the ground by the other.
Thank to his bloodline magic ability, Marbas can see the structure of every things and beings. So he can use it for torture BUT he can also use it to know what he must touch or mass to help people to relax. According to Ifrit, he does very good shoulders massages. He can do a lot of things with his ability.
One time, after a party in the dorms, Marbas woke up, his head on Ifrit's shoulder, their tails wrapped around each other. They weren't together at this point, and Marbas has never blushed that much before. He still doesn't know how he managed to go away without waking up Eito.
Hickeys are very a serious things in the demon world. For a demon, it’s a way to mark his territory. Demons are greedy and can be possessive. Some demons are proud to show that they are “taken”, others are embarrassed because because they’ll be seen as the bottom in their relationship. But the first case happens more often. Some demon can inject a little or their mana when they bite so the "hickeys" will take more time to vanish while being in the color of the magic of the one who has bite. Students were very confused when they see the violet mark in Marbas neck (for the first time) and were like "hu? he's with someone? who?" but they were like "well, good for him anyway :/" after that.
It was the first time. After March and Eito got together, it happened more often and the students were like "who? WHO?"
(Purson is the only one who knows and finds very funny that everyone wonders who)
Sometimes, Marbas takes the cigarette from Ifrit's lips and go away while smoking it. First time he did that, everyone was OoO and Eito blushed very much. Dantalion was like "aww indirect kiss ~" and has barely avoided a fireball. Now they are used to do it.
Murmur is the first to have noticed their feelings.
Orias has totally bet with Robin about who will kiss the other first. (he won by the way, Robin said that he cheated with his bloodline magic ability). Dantalion teased them a lot.
Marbas gets revanche about it when Orias and Robin started flirting with each other. He has had a lot of fun by teasing them with his innocent smile.
Ifrit has a body who is warmer than for other demons. When it's cold outside, Marbas just cuddles beside him while finishing his work. Dali: are you treating Eito-Sensei like a radiator? *lol*
Marbas actually can cook very well.
He's also very good with children. And i don't speak only about the students.  He has often done babysitting of Yabashi when he was young.
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yourmidnightlover · 4 years ago
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never go back
Summary: spencer notices how your boyfriend takes advantage of you and finally does something about it.
TW: titty sucking, oral (female receiving), cheating, dom!spencer, scratching, slapping (only one), cursing, choking, spencer dirty talk lol, penetrative sex, creampie. *let me know if i missed anything*
WC: 3,724
A/N - i'm using noah as the 'other man' schtick in probably all of my future one shots bc i can't find it within myself to create a new character each and every time. so your douche of a bf will always be noah miller. if you ever get a nice bf i'll be sure to change his name but for now this is what we're working with. got it? got it.
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there are many things that people should go back to. schooling, maybe an old job, an old vacation spot.
your boyfriend was not one of those things.
mostly because your boyfriend sucked.
it was now a fact that spencer reid himself had come to believe quite a while ago and now, well now he had reason.
he had always felt as though you were too good for noah, similar for practically anyone in existence (himself included). he was always a complete ass to you no matter the circumstance.
there was one time the entire team had been back really late from a case that took a toll on all of you. it was emotionally and physically draining. the flight back had been delayed because of weather issues in the state you had been in, meaning you couldn't leave until days after it was solved.
any time you had gone to answer the phone, spencer would be able to see your stance and body language through the glass window. you had been apologizing for something you couldn't even control. you would narrow your brows the way you only did when you were being yelled at. you bit your lip the way you did when you were being made to feel guilty.
he was guilt tripping you for something you couldn't even control.
when you had gotten back it wasn't any better. noah had been giving you the cold shoulder. he was defensive when you asked what was wrong.
and that was only 3 weeks into the relationship.
after being together for 2 months, you had gotten flowers delivered on your desk. you assumed they were from your boyfriend, reasonably so, and went to go thank him. spencer saw the shock in your eyes when you saw your boyfriend huddled in the corner with some new intern. spencer saw the look in your eye change from sadness to anger in the blink of his own.
you took a deep breath, and walked away from the situation, completely missing the way he tucked the intern's hair behind her ear as he leaned in to whisper something to make her giggle. when you got back to your desk you threw the flowers in the garbage can, not even bothering to read the note.
it was pretty indirect, but looking into it he realized it was an issue that should've been addressed. every time the team would go out together, everyone was clearly invited. you would always decline because 'noah wanted to take me out tonight' or 'noah said he needs me, so i'll have to rain check'.
it wasn't because you were a bad person, the opposite actually. it was because noah was taking advantage of your kindness.
because any time you needed him, 'noah's out with the boys' or 'noah had to work late' or, here's a kicker, 'noah had a hard time at work'. as if you don't have a hard time looking at dead bodies while he just has to write up reports.
even when you got injured during a case, shot in the shoulder, noah seemed as though he couldn't have cared less. he wouldn't even go to your apartment to visit you while you were in recovery because 'noah didn't have time to visit'.
spencer could even recall when you went out with the girls one night, spencer being the designated driver, that you had told them how 'noah didn't want you to dress too provocatively so you had to wear something more modest'.
now, spencer doesn't care all to much about what you wear because, frankly, it's none of his business. but now that he heard how noah cared oh-so-much, he decided to wrack his brain for the 'provocative' outfits you've worn. there was not a single one that anyone should make a comment about. you looked stunning no matter what you wore, so you'd grab any man's attention no matter the clothing on your body.
but spencer? he made sure to never be that much of an asshole to you. he made sure to make up for him being an asshole.
he would grab you some morning coffee like you always had before you had a boyfriend. he would make sure to tell you that you looked lovely when you were able to go out with the team. he would visit you when you injured yourself and were lonely, he even stayed back for a few days with you to help you get through it.
hell, he was the one to get you the flowers. you had been having a rough week and spencer thought it might cheer you up. he had gifted you a bouquet of 12, blue chiffon flowers because those were your favorite.
but this was his breaking point. you had come to his apartment, once again in the middle of the night, talking about noah fucking miller cheating on you.
he had done it once before when he was 'out with the boys' you decided to stop by when he said he'd be back, wanting to just be the amazing girlfriend that you are. so when you walk in and hear your boyfriend moaning along with another woman that isn't you, you immediately run back out. you run back out and drive all the way to spencer's.  
and here you are again. spencer wasn't mad at you, it was noah he was mad at. he couldn't believe what he was hearing.
spencer had always liked you, no, he's always loved you. everything about you. how could he not? you're perfect.
but loving you how he does and seeing you being used as a toy to fuck for a certain noah miller not only made his heart ache but also made his blood boil.
spencer wasn't an idiot. he had heard the way the old morgan had referred to women. the thing is, noah is way more of a fuckboy than the old morgan ever was. and that scared spencer to pieces. he knew that you would only be missing out on team outings just to get fucked by a douchebag. he knew that the only reason said douchebag wouldn't visit you was because you couldn't fuck. he knew that the reason said douchebag was cornering that intern was to fuck her, too.
so when you arrived at spencer's place, this time you weren't crying. you were furious. you were angry and upset, as was spencer.
"he did it again, spence," you breathed out as you paced across his living room floor. "i was supposed to meet him in a few hours but i was going to surprise him and i caught him with another tramp! i didn't even confront him. i just- i just left!"
"cheated? noah?" he asked as if he didn't believe it at first, not wanting to seem like as much of a dick as noah.
"yes! cheated. god! i am so ANGRY!" you ran your hand through your hair, a grunt leaving your mouth. "and... and frustrated! and... UGH!" you sighed aggressively.
"and what?" spencer asked as he stood up, slowly making his way to you. "what else?" he said, his hand now brushing that stubborn strand of hair behind your ear.
"i-i'm..." you trailed off, getting lost in his beautiful eyes.
if you were honest with yourself, you'd admit how much you loved spencer. but you thought he'd never love you like that. not since you helped him through jj getting married. he really thought she was it for him, at least that's what you'd come to think he believed. over the years you had grown so much closer and grown such an attraction for each other that the other person knew about. it was ironic, truly.
"say it, y/n," spencer leaned over you, his lips ghosting over yours. "i need to hear you say it."
"god, just kiss me," you said, your hands flying to the back of his hair to push his mouth to yours.
there was no hesitation from spencer to give you everything he had. his hand on the side of your face remained there as his other hand drifted to your waist to pull you closer to his body. your tongues met fervently with covetous, passion, and longing yet with just gentle firmness that felt protecting and as if it was how everything was supposed to be.
"please, spencer," you quietly whispered once you unlatched from one another.
"please what, princess," he asked, his hand running through your hair.
"i just... i need you," she pleaded with him, her hands still tugging gently on his hair. "please," you put your foreheads together, breathing in each others air as you silently begged him to help you in any way that he could.
"i'd do anything for you," he whispered so delicately as if the entire team were standing right beside you. "you know i'd do anything for you."
"then do something," you demanded.
spencer took action by kissing you just as intensely as before, this time his hands went to your ass. he grabbed your thighs to signal for you to jump, once you did you wrapped your legs around his torso as he carried you into his bedroom. he set you down just in front of the bed before you began to undo his shirt, him returning the favor by undoing yours.
"god, i've wanted you for so long," he growled, nipping gently at your earlobe as he laid you back on the bed. "lift your hips," he ordered, you obeyed his every command. you always would. "good girl," he praised as he ran his hands down your now bare waist.
"please," you begged, your hips bucking up to get any source of friction. "spencer..." you trailed off.
"i know, princess. i know," he said before climbing on top of you, connecting your lips with his once again, this time much more eager than before if that were possible.
as you arched your back, he took the opportunity to unclasp the hook on your bra. you shrugged it off your shoulders to allow him to throw the bra somewhere else in his room. he finally took a breath, removing his lips from yours to admire the view in front of him.
"god, you're so beautiful," he growled before placing gentle but eager kisses along the tops of your breasts, massaging the one his mouth wasn't on.
he pressed his knee between your legs, allowing you to buck your hips up to get that release you wanted so bad. you whined as he took your nipple in his mouth, his tongue flicking past it rapidly as he occasionally nibbled on it gently.
"spen-spencer," you ran your hands through his hair, tugging gently on the roots.
"mmm," he sat his head up, trailed kisses up your throat. "god, i love you so much."
"i-i love you," you moaned, pulling his head up to connect your lips together. "i love you so so much."
"i'm so glad to hear that," he huffed a sigh of relief. "because otherwise it'd be awkward when i did this," he began trailing kisses down your body, leading down towards your center. "i'll show you what it's like to be with a man that actually loves and respects you, yea? show you what it feels like to actually be pleased by a man? what it's like to be with a real man?" he teased.
his fingers trailed around your entrance, gathering your arousal that'd been building for what felt like ages. he pressed gentle kisses around your pussy before finally connecting his lips with your clit, a low groan emitting from your body because of the contact.
"yes, please," you shot your head back, relishing in the feeling of the direct skin contact.
"hey," spencer slapped your thigh, your head shot back up to see him between your legs, a truly beautiful sight that you'd never get tired of. "eyes on me," he demanded before going back down on you, not breaking eye contact as he brought out sounds from you that you weren't even sure you could make. "talk to me, princess. let me know how it feels."
"fe-feels so good," you sighed, taking your breasts in your hands and massaging them. "i-i can-can't even think," you stuttered out, too caught up in the pleasure to form a coherent sentence.
you had felt so good as he sucked on your clit, succeeding in bringing you closer to the edge than noah ever has, but when he inserted two fingers into your entrance...
"oh my fuck!" your hands shot down to grab onto his locks, pushing him further into your body, a low groan leaving him.
his fingers didn't stop their work. he curled them at just the right spot, sending you flying over the edge. spencer used his free hand to grab onto your thigh to keep them from closing in completely on his head, still working you through your high. he placed a kiss on your clit once more before he brought his head up to you, connecting your lips passionately.
"could noah ever make you come like that? huh? could he make you feel so good you could barely even think?" he grabbed your chin in his hands, holding it in place to look at him as you shook your head the best you could. "no?"
"mm-mm," you tried to shake your head 'no' once more.
"did you think of him while i was going down on you? were you thinking about how he fucked that little tramp?" he asked harshly, you shook your head 'no' again. "oh, what were you thinking, princess?" he finally released your face so you could speak.
"ab-about how well you know my body. about how, how good you looked between my legs. about how much i love you," you replied quickly, knowing exactly what to say.
"right answer," he connected your lips once more. "what do you want, love?" he asked, peppering soft kisses along your jaw where his hands once held your throat firmly.
"you. i-i want you in-inside me," you swallowed, your hand finding his and pulling it up to your lips to press a kiss to it, then another, then another, then another. "please, doctor?" you used your best puppy dog eyes you knew he couldn't resist.
"god, call me that again," he rasped lowly.
"what... doctor?" you took his hand and started sucking on his fingers, letting them slip in and out slowly and then moving onto the next.
"fuck, yes," he growled as he pressed another kiss to your lips before lining himself up at your center. "are you sure, princess?" he traced your jaw with the fingers you were previously sucking on.
"yes, sir," you nodded. "i'm sure."
you felt him slowly push inside of you slowly to allow you to adjust to his size. you had your suspicions of how big he was, but feeling him inside of you made it all much more real.
"fuck, you're so tight," he moaned into your ear quietly as he slowly pulled back out, going in just as slow.
"sp-spence-"
"wrong," he slapped your face gently, a whimper leaving your lips before he grasped your face to make you look him in the eyes.
"doc-doctor," you corrected yourself.
"good girl," he said, feeling your pussy clench from the praise. "oh you like that?" he felt it again. "maybe you just like hearing me talk, yea?" his pace began picking up slowly. "you like hearing how this pussy makes me feel? how tight... and warm... and wet it is?"
"u--uh huh," you nodded your head the best you could as he began thrusting much more rapid, hitting that special spot inside of you with each movement.
"it seems like you haven't felt this good in a long time huh? haven't had your pussy pounded like this in a while?" he asked as he was catching his breath.
"ne-never, doctor," you confirmed, hands reaching around his back and dragging your nails down, surely leaving scratch marks all down them.
"fuck," he growled. "noah never made you feel this good princess? never made you forget how to speak in sentences? never knew how to get you going like this?"
"n-no, no! never! god, never!" you cried as you pulled his body even closer to you. "i-i'm close, please!"
"you wanna come all over my dick, yea? you want to show me how much your pussy loves it when a real man fucks it?"
that was it to let that spring burst inside of you, parts flying everywhere. you cried his name as he worked you through your orgasm, holding onto his shoulders and hair to keep you grounded.
"cum inside me, please," you begged. "fi-fill me up."
"fuck, whatever you want, princess," he kept pounding into you at a rapid pace. "god, i'm gonna come inside you, and send you back to that scumbag of a boyfriend so he can see that you're mine now. so he can see what happens when his girlfriend is mistreated and fucked by someone who knows what they're doing, yea?"
"yea, yea!" you whined, nails digging back into his skin as he released his load into you, thrusting it gently back inside after.
"god, i love you so much," he moaned into your ear, pressing a kiss to your cheek by your ear.
"i love you," you replied, stroking his hair to help him come down, him still inside of you. he began thrusting inside of you once again.
"don't want any of it to spill out before you get to him," he felt you clench around him one more time. "you're very responsive, princess. i like that about you."
"it-it's just you, spence. it's always been you," you pulled him in for another kiss.
this one was full of passion but not the kind of eagerness. it was full of desire and longing, pent up emotions flowing out into one another fluidly.
"now let me go see my soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend," you huffed as he pulled out of you, wincing from the overstimulation. "i'll see you later?"
"i'll see you later," he pressed a kiss to your forehead before helping you gather your clothes.
driving back to his apartment, you felt rather giddy with yourself. should you have felt bad? absolutely not. he's a manipulative asshole who's used you for sex on numerous occasions, so he deserved the bittersweet irony of what was coming to him.
*get it, coming to him? lol i'm sorry i had to :)*
you knocked on the door softly, greeted by a rather chipper noah who grabbed your face as soon as he saw you, connecting your lips. his kiss was nothing like spencer's. his lips weren't as soft and tentative. they weren't plump and round, they were harsh and rough and unpleasant.
he quickly led you to the bedroom, not to your surprise. he sat down on the bed, you straddled his hips, acting as if it were spencer instead - which was pretty hard to do after knowing what he was like in the sack.
you felt his boner through his pants quickly after you got on top of him. then when he flipped you over and pulled your pants and underwear down, he was met with a surprise.
"someone's excited to see me," he chuckled before licking a thick stripe from your slit to clit, very aggressive to where it almost hurt to have the pressure. "god you taste so good, doll."
he continued at this for a while, inserting his tongue to your hole very once in a while and licking up yours and spencer's arousal with it. you faked your moans and whimpers as his ministrations became more eager, not really getting you anywhere.
after he was finished with your turn - no, he didn't even make you cum - he laid back on the bed as if he were waiting for you to get on top of him again.
"actually," you stood up from the bed, pulling up your clothes with you. "i'm done with this. we're over."
you watched his face as he took in the information just released to him. it changed from surprised and shocked, to confused, to disgusted, to angry and frustrated.
"what the fuck?" he sat up from the bed, a disgruntled look on his face. "you wait until after you cum to tell me this?" he walked over to you, arms flailing in the air.
"yea. i did. and by the way, i didn't cum," you informed him. "that's something you've never really been good at making me do. although i'm not sure how you've been able to convince me to do anything with the way you treat me."
"what do you mean? i'm a good gu-"
"shut up for one second, please," you rolled your eyes, running your hand through your hair. "i know you've cheated on me numerable times. i stayed because i thought that maybe there was a reason, but i've come to realize that i was just... settling with you," you shrugged.
"you've treated me like crap since this 'relationship' started and i'm tired of it. i know someone who not only treats me with respect and kindness, but can also actually make me cum. shocker," you chuckled.
"who is this asshole? what the hell-"
"i wasn't finished, sweetie," you spat out viciously. "he's not an asshole. you're the asshole. you're the one that's getting dumped. so this is goodbye," you turned around to walk out of his room before leaving him with one more thought. "how did his cum taste with mine?" you tilted your head innocently, smiling at his shocked face as he realized what you meant before walking out.
and you were never more glad that you didn't have to go back to him anymore.
taglist:
@muffin-cup​ @greenprisca​ @averyhotchner​ 
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janaem · 4 years ago
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i like you
"man, he doesn't like me." you sighed resting your head on the palms of you hands. tears were stinging your eyes, for you felt nothing but disappointment and grief. but then again, those were the feelings that often came with having a crush.
___, your friend, cocks an eyebrow, "uhh, what the fuck? yes, he does. he just doesn't show it, give him time."
you furrowed your eyebrows, giving your friend a skeptical look, "and...how long are you gonna say this exactly? It's been years it seems..." you swallowed a lump in your throat, thinking back to all the times you've tried to catch his attention and start up conversations with him. if it was effective, you wouldn't have been stuck in this depressing mental space.
___ shrugged, "yeah, well, it does takes a while for boys to come around," they smirked looking at the teacher's whiteboard, "my ex is a perfect example."
still, a bunch of thoughts started occupying your mind as you watched the teacher project today's lesson onto the board. it's been months since you've started liking ___, and all you've ever wanted was for him to acknowledge you a little more than he did. because to you, it seemed that he has liked your first, way before you started noticing and liking him back.
the sexual tension between you two was rather noticeable. constantly catching each other's gazes in class (sometimes they would turn into staring contests), all those times where he would physically get close to you without saying a word, you would even catch him looking at you while whispering to his friends. all these things, yet neither of you had made a single move.
not like you had a problem, you enjoyed the attention he gave you. that's probably why you started crushing on him in the first place.
you've been pondering on the idea of making the first big move, but you've done that to your last crush and that steered them in the other direction. but every crush is different, maybe ___ might even admit his true feelings instead of hiding. he was sorta the type to be bold—in his own way. he made things direct, but indirect at the same time, and it kind of frustrated you, let alone disappointed you, but you were more disappointed in yourself than you were of him.
you shook off the thoughts that were constantly attacking you, and did your best to keep up with your notes.
"don't look...oh god, please don't look." you pleaded to yourself quietly, silently fighting the urge to see if your crush was looking at you. you stared blankly at you notes, head faced down to avoid any eye contact with anyone
___ was, in fact, eyeing you. watching closely as you tried to keep your composure. you sat in a slouched position, gripping your pencil, you bit your inner cheek fighting the temptation to even spare a quick glance.
"....okay, so i want everyone to come to this table for a demonstration." the teacher announced pointing at the large wooden table in the back.
the boys stood on one side while the girls were on the other side. that was until a few other students joined and mixed things up. the teacher stood at the head of the table, talking and talking away about more of today's lesson. you felt a little more better, your crush was out of your mind for now, so this time you were all ears and watching the teacher.
you weren't thinking of it, but you wish you hadn't. you spared a quick glance at ___, who was right across from you, his hand supporting him as he leaned onto the table. body slightly turned to the teacher, yet his eyes were right on you.
your stomach immediately dropped and you turned your attention back to the teacher, acting as if nothing happened.
once the bell rang, signalling the end of the school day, you immediately gathered your things.
"hey, ___, since your locker is closest to the band room, could you grab my instrument for me? I'll meet you downstairs in front of the school so we can walk together." your friend asked as you btoh exited the classroom. their locker was all the way downstairs and the band room was two stories above, exactly where your locker was.
"yeah, i'll see you later." you said turning the corner and heading up the long flights of stairs.
a part of you really dreaded this assignment because your crush also goes into the band room after school. even though he was quite popular, he was also a band kid.
once you were done packing your things, you hesitantly reached the band room door. peeking in to see no one was there, you felt a wave of relief as you entered the room.
there were stacks of instrument cases on the floor and on the shelves. how on earth were you supposed to find your friend's instrument? you couldn't possibly search the hundreds of nametags.
you decided to whip out your phone from your pocket and texted them 'where in the room do u usually put your instrument?'
meanwhile, you took a look around yourself waiting for your friend to text back. that was until the door swung open abruptly, resulting you to flinch on the stop.
you turned around to see ___ walking in, running a hand through his hair once once he saw you.
you immediately turned your attention back to the instruments. your heart pounds in your chest rapidly, as if it was about to rip out of your chest. you had to lean onto the shelf for support it was beating so fast. the pressure on your eyes was unbearable as you tried not to look at him again.
"hey, uh, are you looking for ___'s, instrument?"
you immediately snapped your neck in his direction, you honestly did not know how to act.
"yeah...you know where it is?" you felt a sudden buzz in your hand. you assumed it was your friend telling you where it was. what's it gonna hurt relying on your crush?
it's just above mine, we play the same instrument." he said tilting his head slightly in the direction of the shelf of instrument cases.
you were practically froze in your spot, not knowing if he wanted you to come closer to him. you just stood there and nodded, and ___ gave you a questioning look.
the silence was loud in the small band room, your heart beat increasing didn't seem to help.
you just couldn't look at him. you weren't sure why he was able to look at you...maybe he really doesn't like you and just sees you as a regular girl at school. well, that's how he's been treating you for the past months...so why were your expectations so high all the time when all you got was nothing?
"you don't have to get it, i'll get it myself." you said reluctantly breaking the silence. you walked over to where your crush was, the space between the two of you was very slim. you didn't think much of it as you grabbed your friend's instrument and then his from the shelf.
turning around, you felt something faintly brush against your bottom, that's when you immediately noticed that ___ was dangerously close to you. once again, the adrenaline in your stomach started up again, you awkwardly turned around, handing ___ his instrument.
__ stammered, realizing how uncomfortable you were, "oh um sorry, i didn't realize-"
"it's okay." you said starting to head towards the door.
"__, wait."
you turned around, completely stunned that he had just said your name for the first time in a long time, "yeah?" you honestly wanted to hear him say it again.
"there's uh...something i need to tell you," he set his instrument down next to his foot and dug his hands into his pocket.
"what is it?" you said inching towards him a bit. you could see ___ starting to get a bit nervous under your stare. he fidgeted in his spot, but he still managed to maintain eye contact.
__ ran his hand through his hair, "i think i like you."
'wait what!? oh my gosh this is not happening!' you said excitedly in your head, you instead furrowed your eyebrows in 'confusion,'
"elaborate." you deadpanned, crossing your arms. but in your mind, you completely understood how he felt, because that's exactly how you felt about him. you tried so hard not to run  around  and squeal excitedly like a maniac.
"look, i know this may sound creepy, and you may get a bit paranoid after i say this." he swallowed hard, as if there was a lump in his throat.
"no matter what i do, who i'm with, or where i am, i just can't stop thinking about you."
you forgot how to breathe at this very moment , was he just saying this? or was he being genuine? because with the way he has been acting for the past months, you didn't know what to believe anymore.
___ took a few steps towards you, "you're all i think about, you're all i ever wanna talk about."
you raised your eyebrows a bit, you've never heard something like this come out of his mouth before.
"there are so many things i want to do with you, but there are things holding me back, and i fucking hate it."
you just stood there in silence, watching as he anxiously ran his hand through his hair again, "fuck, i—no one has ever made me feel this way before."
everything seemed to move fast from there, yet it felt like it was in slow motion. wasting no time, you carelessly dropped the instrument on the floor, your body started to move on its own once you started walking up to ___, lovingly extending your arms and gave him the tightest embrace you could ever give someone.
the tension has suddenly melted away into obscurity, it was like two lost souls have been brought together after such a long time.
___ slowly snaked his arms around you, "i've been wanting to do this for a long time." he whispered, you shivered feeling his soft breath against your neck.
you didn't want to let go, and neither did he. ___ took the opportunity to kiss the part where your jaw and your ear met. you turned your head to face him. both of your faces were only inches away as ___ removed one of his arms from you to place his hand on your cheek. you closed your eyes, feeling his lips touch yours softly, pulling your body closer with his other arm.
you kissed back, deepening the kiss even more. you honestly didn't think this moment would come. you longed to stay like this forever, oh you wish you did.
you two parted for a quick second, with your eyes half lidded you saw ___ smile a bit, leaning into kiss you again. this time, the kiss was a bit rougher. ___ trailed his hand down your cheek and passed the sensitive spot of your neck. you softly gasped feeling his hand wrap around your neck, his other hand stroked your back slowly ...
suddenly, your phone buzzed, breaking the hypnosis you two were in. the two of you reluctantly parted, and you removed your arms form around ___ and reached into your pocket and took out your phone. It was a text message from your friend.
'coming down? :)' it said.
you widened your eyes in realization, "oh shit i gotta go!" you grabbed you grabbed your friend, ___'s, instrument case.
"can i at least get your number, ___?" your crush asked pulling out his phone.
"uh sure," you said pulling up your information, "here it is."
once you were finished exchanging numbers, ___ pulled you in for one last kiss. then you picked up the instrument case and dashed out the door. ___ followed soon after, but you were well down the stairs before he could see you one last time today.
you both couldn't wait to see each other the next day.
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bokutosworld · 3 years ago
Text
the moment they knew | ushijima, daichi, bokuto
characters: hq captains (ushijima, daichi, bokuto) with gn!reader words, genre: 1.5k words, fluff + slight angst. warnings: none! summary: in love, there’s a moment where everything falls into place and you realize that there’s no one else you’d rather spend forever with. | part one (with oikawa, kuroo, kita)
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USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI;
admittedly, ushijima is not the best at relationships
but you brought out sides of him that he didn’t know even existed
and because he’s so in love with you, he finds himself looking for ways to surprise you
he doesn’t hesitate to try new things because all he wants is to make you happy in the way you make him complete
When Ushijima comes home, the first thing he notices is the other pair of shoes sitting by the entranceway. He smiles as he walks all the way to the kitchen where he heard a commotion.
Though your back was turned to him, seeing you in his apartment instantly relieved him of his exhaustion for the day. He hurriedly goes over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you to his chest.
“Wakatoshi,” you turn your head back and give him a peck on his cheeks. “Welcome home.”
He shows you one of his rare smiles and reciprocates your kiss with his own. “Thank you, love.” He rests his chin on your shoulders and watches you quietly as you prep the ingredients.
“Do you want to help cook?” You were already expecting him to just hum and leave you to the dishes while he sets up the plates. So it was a genuine surprise when his hands left your body and retrieved the apron (it was a matching set to the one you were wearing) from one of the drawers.
He silently took his place by your side, and took the cutting board and the knife from your hands. You watched in awe as he skillfully sliced the onions in perfect shape.
“Do you need me to cut the carrots too?” You hadn’t noticed that he’s finished until you heard his voice close in your ears. That night, the two of you cooked together for the first time and there was something so intimate and so special about it.
“This feels nice,” you commented as Ushijima now worked on slicing the raw chicken fillet. “I thought you didn’t know how to cook.”
“I’ve been practicing.” His answer surprises you. You can’t help but imagine him watching cooking tutorials and the thought makes you smile.
“Really? And what exactly motivated you to learn how to cook?”
Ushijima stops and turns to you with the warmest look in his eyes.
“I wouldn’t want you to do all the cooking in the future.” He grasps and kisses the back of your hands. “I wouldn’t be doing my job as your partner if you don’t let me serve you too.”
You don’t know which of the two takes your breath away—the way he looked when he said those words or the indirect proposal he just made. Either way, you were already looking forward to the future he’d just proclaimed.
SAWAMURA DAICHI;
your friends always said that daichi seems like the type of guy you’d bring to meet your parents
they weren’t wrong. he was the best partner anyone could ever ask for
you often find yourself wondering if marriage was ever on his mind
what you don’t know is that daichi had been carrying a ring box everyday since college graduation, just waiting for the right moment
Daichi clutches the material of his coat, hugging his body tighter as he stood and waited in front of your office building. He spots you walking with a friend and his lips curl upward into a smile. When you turn to look his way, he feels like a giddy high school boy as his heart skips a beat at the eye contact.
You bid your friend goodbye and run towards his waiting arms. He grunts when you throw yourself at him, laughing as you relax in his hold and he runs his hands over your back.
“You worked hard today. Shall we get your comfort food or do you want me to cook at home and prepare you a hot bath?”
You smile as you consider your options. “I like the sound of the second option.”
He takes your hands and brings it to his lips to plant a soft kiss along your knuckles. “Let’s head home then.”
The two of you begin a silent walk to your apartment complex. Lately, he’s been busy with his police work that he’s rarely had the time to stop by You take a glance at him, trying to remember as much of his face for as long as you can. Because you never know when he’d ever have the luxury of spending time with you like this.
He notices you staring, “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Nothing. I just missed you.” You mutter. “Work has been keeping you too busy. It’s like you’re married to your job and I’m just your side piece.”
He laughs loudly that other passersby have turned to look your way. He says nothing, only squeezing your hands and looks at you with a glint in his eyes.
When the two of you arrived at your apartment, you made a beeline to the living room and planted yourself on the couch. You heard footsteps nearing and stopping at the side of the sofa.
Daichi had kneeled beside your position, his face inches away from yours when he calls your name. At the sound of his voice, you open an eye and see him holding out a ring in front of you. You sit up immediately, mouth hanging open as you search for the words to say but he beats you to it.
“You said earlier that you feel like I’m married to my job, and I’m sorry if I ever made you feel that but,” he pauses to stop the tears that threatened to fall. “But my job can’t compare to you. At the end of the day, I’ll leave work and come home to you.”
You’re both crying messes when Daichi takes your hand and positions the ring on your fourth finger. “Will you marry me?” Of course, you said yes.
BOKUTO KOTARO;
bokuto loves with his whole heart and he treasures you like you’re his world
your steadfast feelings made him confident and assured
but whenever a fight breaks between the two of you, his resolve always crumbles
when he realizes that nothing scares him more than the fact that he could lose you, that’s when he makes a promise
When Bokuto wakes up, he instinctively reaches for the other side of his bed and his heart drops when he feels nothing. He jolts up, eyes frantically searching his room for any sign that last night was not a dream.
He’s getting ready to stand up when the door opens and he sees you enter the room with a tray of breakfast in your hands. He scrambles on his feet and you’re surprised when he takes the food and places it on his desk before his arms make their way to hug you.
“I thought you’d left me again,” he mumbles in your neck. When you wrap your arms around him, Bokuto sighs and sinks further into the embrace. “I’m really sorry.”
It all started because of a petty fight. The two of you had been so busy with your own work that neither of you had time for each other. But the one time you’d both been home at the same time only resulted in an argument that led to you giving him the silent treatment for three weeks.
And those weeks were like hell for Bokuto. After that fight, he’d immediately realized his mistake and he’d called and messaged you but to no avail. Last night, you’d finally returned and Bokuto was more than relieved to see you.
“Let’s not fight ever again.” He looks at you with pleading eyes. “It was stupid of me to blame you for not having time for me when I’ve also been so occupied.”
“Bokuto…” You cup his cheeks and he closes his eyes as your hand gently caresses his face. “I’m sorry too. And I promise I’ll never disappear on you again.”
If there was one thing that he’d realized during the time when you were away, it’s that he could never live without you. He also couldn’t bear the thought of being the cause of your hurt and pain so he makes a promise.
He leans so close that you could hear the drumming of his heart. “I’ll never do anything to make you sad again. When we first got together, I told you that I’d only make you happy.”
You smile as you remember that moment when he’d asked you to be his. It was one of the best days of his and your life.
“And that’s what I’ll do from now and for the rest of our lives.” He’s inching closer and closer, your lips just a few millimeters away until you say something.
“What you said just now sounds like a wedding vow.”
He laughs, surprising you when he turns and plops down with you on the bed. He’s hovering above you playfully, “Baby, wait until you hear the rest of it.”
📝: @markysaurs (send an ask if you want to be included in my taglist!)
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hai-nakyuu · 3 years ago
Text
demure (adj); sugawara x reader
reserved, modest, and shy
tw: 18+, corruption kink, cocky but sweet sugawara, virgin!reader, praise, dumbification, a lil overstim, dacryphilia
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koushi sugawara never understood the concept of corruption.
he never really got how it amused his fellow third-years every time someone- say, yachi, or yamaguchi- would furrow their eyebrows in confusion at a not-so child-friendly joke tanaka or nishinoya cracked.
he never really minded how tsukishima howled in laughter as hinata and kageyama unkowingly shared an “indirect kiss” through a water bottle.
he never really cared about if someone was a virgin, because to him, whether you’ve had a dick inside you or not doesn’t change who you are.
that is, until he met the quiet, innocent, and pure little angel called you.
“do i... look okay?”
“”okay?” princess,” he laughs softly. “you’d bring venus and aphrodite to their knees.”
he says it to calm your rushing pulse, but, to his slight amusement, it just makes you even more flustered.
you’ve never done this before: dress up in lingerie for a boy.
but this wasn’t just any other boy.
this was koushi, the boy you trusted with all your heart to cherish you in every way.
“this is the most beautiful two piece i’ve ever seen,” his eyes trail up and down your body, “though.... i suppose it’s because you’re wearing it.”
your eyes avert from his piercing gaze as you blush at his words. “i kind of missed one ribbon at the back, though,” you scratch the back of your neck nervously. “could you...”
“do the honors?” he grins. “thought you’d never ask.”
you smile back up at him, but you can see a tiny shimmer in his eyes that says he wants you, needs you.
he moves to sit behind you on the bed, and runs his hands down your shoulder blades. you can feel his slow, steady breath on your back as his hands trail down the lace, his thumb brushing each thread, until his fingers reach the last untied ribbon of the corset.
his breath hitches. his heart skips a beat.
it feels like he’s wrapping his own present.
your eyes flutter shut as he slowly ties the string into a neat ribbon. it’s as if to confrm that this is real: you’re about to give yourself to him. you know koushi feels this finality too, that he’s the first to see you like this.
what you don’t know is how hard it is for him to hold back.
he’s never felt this urge to protect you for anyone else. sure, he’s been an older brother figure to his kouhais, and he’s always been the one to take initiative during dates and other intimate activities, but there’s something about being the one to teach you about pleasure that sends blood rushing to his cock.
once you feel his hands leave your back, you slowly turn around to meet his gaze. his irises have darkened, his eyes almost completely black with desire.
it ignites something warm in the pit of your stomach.
there’s a long, quiet moment, the air silent besides both your heavy breathing.
koushi doesn’t move just yet. he literally can’t. something about seeing you this vulnerable, something about seeing the love in your eyes, makes him realize just how much trust you’re giving to him, and how much he wants to drive you mad with his touch.
and then you smile softly, let your eyes flutter shut, and slowly snake your arms around his neck, pulling him in- almost hesitantly- for a kiss.
gosh, every time your lips touch his he just falls harder.
his hands find home in your hair as he tilts his head a little to the side, deepening the kiss, teasing your lower lip with his tongue. you gasp and he chuckles against your mouth, pressing his lips- and the rest of his body- harder on you as his patience slowly trickles away like sand in an hourglass.
whatever he’s trying to hold back, he doesn’t think he can for long.
you lay back down on the bed, pulling koushi to hover on top of you. god, this boy was a sight, hair tousled, his lips a little pinkish with your lipstick, and- fuuuuuck, the sexy grin as he dips his head into your neck and experimentally plants kisses on your skin. you giggle a bit and blush because you’re ticklish, and he swears if this moment were any more innocent he could just swoop you up and ruffle your hair as you giggle in his arms.
what you don’t expect is how he suddenly sucks on a certain spot and before you can stop yourself-
“h-hah! god, koushi-”
koushi’s cock strains hard in his pants at the pathetic adorable whine you let out. he masks an aroused groan with a chuckle as he repeats the action.
again.
and again.
and a few times too many, actually, because he can feel your chest rising and falling against his, your much smaller hands gripping onto his shoulders.
delighted by your sensitivity, he keeps this up for another minute before he breaks away, adorning a cocky smirk as his tongue darts out to drag across his lips.
“your-your lips are pink,” you inform him, and he chuckles sweetly as he tastes your strawberry lipstick on his tongue.
“tasty,” he jokes, and you laugh and shake your head. even at such an intimate moment koushi can be so goofy.
“you’re such a dork,” you tease, and he smirks a little as his hands drag down your waist, squeezing a little at your hips.
“i’m a dork, huh, angel?” he drawls against your ear as his fingers toy with the ribbons of the last piece of cloth covering your mound. “let’s see if you still think i’m a dork when you’re soaking my fingers later.”
he pulls your panties off, watching as a pale, white string of wetness connects from the cloth to your already dripping folds.
“you got off on a bit of kissing, darling?” he smirks up at you, and you thrash away from him, embarrassed that he has to see you wet.
“i’m sorry- i didn’t mean to pee- i already went to the bathroom before-”
“don’t sweat, it, angel, it’s normal,” koushi chuckles. it’s funny how he has to remind himself that this is your first time. he takes your hands, and places them on the headboard above you, before fluffing up the pillow your hear is on, sneaking a quick kiss to your lips before sinking back down between your legs.
“it is?” you ask, curiosity halting your flustered movements.
“of course, it means you’re liking it,” he says, hands on your thighs slowly pushing your legs apart, “do you like it, hmm, angel?”
“i-i think i do,” you stutter, nodding. he smiles, but it’s a little mocking as he regards your innocent confusion.
“you have no idea what i’m going to do to you,” he drawls. “but don’t worry, you won’t have to think about aaaaaanything. just lay there and be my good angel while i fuck you so good, hmm?”
“okay,” you whimper, already shaking in anticipation.
“good, that’s a good girl,” he praises you. he slowly licks up and down your folds, dipping his tongue into your cavern and curling it at the tip before slipping out. he laps up all your arousal, humming at the taste of untainted purity as his tongue swirls around your bud before his lips latch around it and suck, eliciting a choked up whine of his name.
fuck,he thinks. how is he going to take this slow if you’re laying there so willingly, making the sweetest, lewdest noises he’s ever heard?
he knows the answer: he won’t.
you don’t even notice his right hand nearing your folds, too immensed in the feeling of being so stimulated until you feel the pads of his fingers prod at your entrance, freezing up in anticipation.
“hey, hey, don’t tense up, princess,” he coos. he kitten licks at your clit to get you to relax, while two of his digits slowly enter your cunt.
he curls his fingers slowly, knowing that if he tries hard enough he’ll find a spot that’ll make you see stars-
“f- ah! koushiiii-”
“there it is,” he grins. “does it feel good now, angel?”
“mhm,” you whine.
“so responsive,” he chuckles. “i’m gonna start moving them, alright?”
it’s kind of a rhetorical question, because once he gets to thrusting his fingers in and out of your folds, curling and prodding at the most sensitive parts inside you.
fuck, none of his fantasies can ever compare to this moment, seeing all your reactions, feeling you clench down on him so desperately, and hearing you mewl and whimper his name. up to just earlier today, he had to control himself not to think of such sinful things around you, because surely you must think him weird, perverted, or even disgusting; you’re the most preciousgirl in his eyes, why would he evertell you that he thinks about your bashful smile every time he fists his cock at night?
but one glance at your face, seeing how your back arches off the bed, desperate to cum even if you probably don’t know what that means, tells him that maybe he could keep you innocent. he could keep this beautiful expression of pleasure to himself, let everyone else think you’re so sweet and uncorrupted when in reality, behind closed doors you’re on your way to becoming his lovely, obedient prey.
his prey that he cherishes and loves.
everything is a blur to him when he quickens the pace of his fingers and tongue, guiding you to your first orgasm (of many) as you tug hard on his hair, giving up on trying to hide your noises when the pleasure takes over the sanest part of your mind and body.
it washes over you like perfectly warm water; a shock trickling up your toes all the way to your spine, your back arching as koushi removes his mouth from you.
“there you go,” he lets you down from your high gently. your head falls back on the pillow, your breaths heavy, but you can still feel when his fingers slip out of you, quick, but you’re so sensitive it makes you clench down on nothing a few times.
“aww, you want more?” koushi teases. “greedy little thing.”
you whine softly, but he clicks his tongue, not taking that for an answer.
“what’s that, angel? i can’t understand you, darling, you gotta use your words,” he smirks down at you.
you open your mouth to reply when he taps a few times on your clit, effectively reducing you to choked-up whimpers.
it almost makes him forget how he’s painfully rock hard in his jeans.
discarding the rest of his clothes, koushi pulls down his underwear, and his cock springs out, and your eyes widen at the sight.
“don’t worry your pretty little head about it,” he kisses you on the lips quickly. “i’ll go slowly.”
he moves to trail his tongue along the helix of your ear, reducing his voice to a dark, breathy drawl.
“for now.”
he lines up his cock with your folds, pressing in gently, taking note of every change in your expression.
but god, it felt so good. koushi could feel you squeezing him so hard. he balls up his fists, keeping them away from you so you don’t get scared.
“d-does it hurt, angel?” he asks breathily, fighting the urge to sink in completely.
“n-nuh,” you grit out. “f-feels weird.”
“it’s alright, don’t worry, i’m almost- f-f-fuck, you’re so fucking perfect,” he groans into your ear.
his breath hitches as he feels you shiver at those words.
oh.
well if that isn’t fucking adorable.
“how ‘bout i give my angel a reward?” he praises you, his other hand slipping between your folds, rubbing circles into your clit.
neither of you are prepared for how it feels; you’re immediately mewling into his shoulder, your nerves on fire as your legs start twitching uncontrollably, your hands helplessly clawing at his back, as your cunt clenches down on him so good it makes koushi’s eyes go wide and feral.
“p-please move, k-koushi” you whine into his ear, and that makes him fucking snap.
he’s in a daze he grabs your legs and lifts them over his shoulders, thrusting all the way in with one swift move, making you let out a high-pitched moan into your hand.
he’d be more gentle if he could, he swears, but something takes control- or rather, loses it inside of him as he grabs both your wrists in one hand, slamming them above you as he thrusts in and out of you, knocking the wind out of you as you squeeze down on him sporadically.
“don’t you fucking dare hide from me,” he groans, watching as your back arches so sexily as he fucks you the way he’s always wanted to.
“i’ve wanted to see you like this for so long, angel, and now i can finally tell you how much i’ve dreamed of fucking that pretty little smile and making you cry. so i wanna see every bit of you, understand?”
he rips off the lace top with one hand, and you moan brazenly at his show of strength. he licks a stripe up the valley of your breasts before latching onto one of your perked nipples and sucking hard, making you squeal and sob fom the pleasure.
“f-f-fuck, please koushi-” your moans get louder and louder and louder, your legs shaking as you feel something crashing over you so hard it makes you see white-
just as koushi’s about to reach his peak as well, a memory flashes through his head from what seems so long ago.
“i... like you too, sugawara-san,” you smiled up at him shyly, holding the second button of his school shirt in your hand which he had offered you so sweetly.
“you do?” he laughs, half in joy, half in slight disbelief.
“well, why wouldn’t i?” you beam up at him. “you’re so sweet to everyone, and i really feel at home with you, you’re very attractive-”you chuckle in a fluster at this- “and you’ve always been so...”
“what?” he tilts his head curiously.
“...so nurturing to me, if that’s the word,” you avert your eyes to your feet bashfully. “you could teach me a lot of things too!”
“yeah,” he holds his arms out, and you gingerly slip into his embrace, melting into his chest. “maybe i could.”
- the end
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eremiie · 4 years ago
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armin when you ask him to choke you for the first time 😩😩😩
anything else?;
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❥ armin x reader | 1k words | nsfw
❥ content: choking... i think that’s literally it
❥ you got it dude🤲🏾, also here’s the minmin content per your request @miekasa 🙄🤚🏾
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armin was pounding into you, his mouth dropped open at the feeling of you squeezing around his cock with every thrust. his blonde hair was sticking to his forehead, and his eyes were squeezed shut, every push inside you almost overwhelming.
for you on the other hand, it felt good of course, amazing even— but you wanted that extra push— that extra thrill to send you over the edge.
your hands slid up from armin’s chest to his face, cupping it in your hands and pulling him down to engage him in a sloppy kiss, armin’s tongue immediately slipping into your mouth and exploring it, tongues dancing together flawlessly. 
you knew asking armin to choke you wouldn’t be a problem, however you didn’t know what his boundaries were and you didn’t want him to take it the wrong way. neither of you ever established what you liked and didn’t like, and you were curious to know how far armin would go with you— lord knows choking wasn’t even the worst thing on your bucket list with him.
you tried pulling your lips back from his, armin chasing yours, his left upper arm coming to rest on the bed as the other one unconsciously grasped your hair to keep your lips close to his while he slid in and out of you. “armin—” 
he ignored your first call of his name, clearly too in the moment so you used your hands to pull his head back. “baby— armin,” armin stared at you, large blue eyes staring down at you clouded with lust yet littered with confusion, almost worry. 
“did i hurt you?” 
you shook your head, a small smile creeping on you and an unfamiliar feeling curdling in your stomach at your next question. “no... can we try something?”
armin perked up, now more curious than anything, his movements slowing until he came to a stop inside you, yet his hand never released its grip on your locks. “what?”
“i want you to choke me.” 
armin blinked, mouth parting just a bit so you could see his teeth, as if he wanted to say something, then closing again. he furrowed his eyebrows at you, but the expression on his face was almost unreadable. he didn’t seem weirded out, not upset or anything either. “really?”
“yeah.”
his gaze flitted to his hand next to your head, before he sucked in his bottom lip teething at it. “can you let me know if i’m hurting you?” there went your heart, practically skipping a beat at his indirect agreement. you wrapped your legs around his waist and nodded your head almost too fast. 
armin’s pulled himself up so he was more above you, his cold hand coming down to your neck and simply resting there. the feeling of those dainty fingers wrapped around your neck was exciting you. he looked to your eyes for any hesitation and when you didn’t he began moving his hips again, a slower pace than before.
you closed your eyes, waiting a couple seconds before he began to apply slight pressure to your neck, thumb pressing at your sides while the pads of his other fingers dug into the skin of your neck as well. you hummed to let him know that this was pleasuring, but it still wasn’t enough, you wanted more.
luckily, you didn’t have to ask for more. 
armin’s hand continued to tighten around your throat, and as it did his strokes became faster, hips hitting yours more fervently, and him using your throat as leverage to fuck into you. you opened your eyes to meet his blue ones, darkened over. armin was staring at you with a look that almost sent a shiver down your spine... was he enjoying this more than you?
“feel good?” he mumbled softly, still watching you while his pale hands still sat pretty. his other hand was now flat on the bed to hold himself up as once again he quickened his thrusts, your body moving up and down with each one, and your mouth dropping open as you felt your air beginning to drop. 
you let out a choked “uh huh,” hoping it was coherent enough for him to make out, and you could’ve swore the blonde was trying to hold back a smile, lips trembling as he watched your hands at your sides come up, not sure where to go. 
a little menace, enjoying seeing you lose air from underneath him— and when your hand flew up to tap his upper arm, letting him know you really needed air, he hesitated before letting you go. 
“fuck, yes armin, again, again!” his eyes lit up and he adjusted himself and you, lifting your hips up so he could fuck into you deeper and wasting no time bringing his hand back to your neck to give it another squeeze. 
this time the feeling of his thrusts now steady since he was confident in his actions, the new angle, and the feeling of him restricting your breathing was enough to have you reaching your climax and moaning out his name, dragging the end until he let go and you were forced to suck in a breath. 
you heard armin mutter a couple “yes,’ at least several times under his own breath, hands sliding down to your waist and pulling you more down onto him, head throwing back as he imagined the moments just seconds ago, aiming to reach his orgasm.
and he did, his hips glitching, as he spilled inside of you, letting out a long exhale. “______...”
you watched him bask in pure pleasure and while you lived in the aftermath of yours, your pussy clenched when it took in his seed. armin collapsed on top of you, head buried into your chest immediately as his skin flushed a darker shade of red at his thoughts.
“did you like that too?”
he didn’t answer immediately, almost embarrassed to admit that yes, he enjoyed that just as much as you. “... yeah, that was nice.” he said as you pet his hair, content with his enjoyment as well.
“... is there anything else that you like?”
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sohin-ace · 3 years ago
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Josuke & Okuyasu - Magazine
Inspired by that one fanart I can't use because I can't find the artist.
Enjoy~
'Boys will be boys'.
We don't count the times this excuse was used to justify the hormone-driven and often stupid decisions or behaviors of male teenagers.
This applies to our two protagonists, Josuke and Okuyasu who just happened to be at that age where boys were curious about their own selves but most importantly of course, curious about the opposite sex.
They couldn't really be blamed, sexuality was a normal part of a teenager's life after all. Which may or may not imply them oogling questionable things here and there or watching specific videos, for instance.
Josuke and Okuyasu decided to feast their eyes as a part of their numerous 'bro dates' as they called them, and made it a regular thing.
Of course, they made these moments very secret. Only them could know what sinful things they were doing after school. They trusted no one else than each other and nobody should ever know about their activities.
They especially couldn't let a girl know about their shenanigans. Oh no, that would be an absolute disaster if they were to be caught red-handed by a girl from their school. They would have to carry the heavy title of 'disgusting perverts', stamped right on their foreheads for the rest of their highschool years, if not their life.
One day as they got out of school, they decided to check out the X-rated section of a local konbini, section placed strategically in the far corner of the shop, and opened some nice porn magazine for their needy eyes. As one does.
"Yoooo Josuke check this out!" Okuyasu exclaimed to his friend while pointing to one of the pages, already blushing madly and coughing up an impressed chuckle.
"Oh my god!!" Josuke whisper-yelled to his friend, trying to not catch people's attention. "That's hot! You think those boobs are real?"
They kept on drooling over pictures of sexy women in bikinis or underwear and posing suggestively for 10 more solid minutes, completely forgetting about their surroundings.
They weren't really worried about getting caught as the section they were in was pretty far away from the entrance of the store and nobody really passed by this corner of the shop anyways.
As they were in their own little fantasy world, they didn't notice a certain H/C haired female coming up behind them.
"Hey isn't that the red head girl from last time?" Josuke commented as he pointed at a certain picture.
"The one who was licking a cherry? Yeah I think so." Replied his tan best friend who started chuckling.
"Who even licks cherries like that?"
"I don't know but she can lick my cherry if you know what I'm sayin'~"
They both snorted obnoxiously and stupidly to themselves until they suddenly heard a very familiar someone right behind them.
"Hey guys! What's up!"
The boys jumped, screaming high pitched 'Eeeks' and 'Uwahs' at the sound of your sweet voice startling them into the worst heart attack they'd ever experience, threatening to cut their short lives even shorter.
Josuke nearly dropped the lewd magazine from his clammy hands and they both turned around abruptly, sweating bullets as they desperately and clumsily hid the piece of dirty evidence behind their backs.
'Oh no. God, everything but not this...' They both thought in unison, as if connected.
The last thing they could have ever expected or wanted, was seeing YOU, of all people, here out of all places and now, out of all times. They really had the worst luck. Suddenly, getting struck by thunder seemed appealing.
"O-o-oh hey Y/N-chan..." Okuyasu stuttered shakily, still sweating profusely.
"What uh... Ahem... What are you doing... here...?" Josuke continued clearing his tight throat and eyeing his best friend with rising anxiety.
The boys were silently communicating, trying to come up with anything, any excuse to either hide their shameful crime from you, or make you leave as soon as possible. They had to work their so-called 'bro-telepathy' like they never did before.
"I was passing by to get some strawberry milk, but then I recognized your hair in the distance! I'm so glad to see you!" You smiled angelically at them while showing them your little pink carton of strawberry milk like it was some prize.
You were beaming so brightly at them, they almost had to squint at your radiating light and beauty. Oh no this was bad, they were both striked by you like an arrow right through their heart.
'She.... SHE'S TOO CUTE FOR THIS WORLD!' They both screamed in their heads.
You, in particular, should never know about what they were doing. EVER. You were way too pure and too innocent for this. Who knows what your reaction would be if you discovered their lewd secrets? Would you judge them? Be disgusted by them? Never talk to them ever again? They couldn't possibly risk that.
Sadly, they were not as glad to see you here as you were to see them. You eventually asked them the oh-so-dreaded question that they wished you'd never ask.
"So, what were you boys doing? Reading manga?" You leaned over to the side slightly trying to see what they were hiding behind their backs and they both panicked.
Obviously you didn't notice the big 'R18' sign over all three of your heads and surely, you couldn't know what this part of the store was since you probably never checked it in your entire life.
In an amazingly coordinated moment, Josuke swiftly handed the magazine to Okuyasu while walking towards you, passing in front of the Jobro, the action completely hidden from your sight.
Josuke came in front of you and grabbed your shoulders, smiling big and trying to act as natural as he could.
"Aah um yes! Manga! Actually there's this one manga I wanted to show you, good thing you're here!" The pompadour-haired haafu was still obviously in utter panick, even if he tried his best to play it cool.
As Josuke was trying to deflect your attention from their guilty pleasure, Okuyasu took this advantage to turn around and scurriedly hide the magazine back in it's original shelf.
You were confused at their shady behavior and furrowed your eyebrows a little bit. You noticed Josuke was sweating and panting slightly, but your eyes traveled to Okuyasu fumbling with the magazines behind and you tried to make out what he was doing.
But Josuke wouldn't let you discover their evil plan for anything in the world, and so, he cupped both your cheeks in his large hands earning a gasp from you as he almost squished them, and turned your head back to face him.
He leaned down to your height and your eyes widened, puzzled by his spontaneous actions.
"Y/N Look at me! Look at my eyes!" He stared at you with a serious expression and you blushed at his sudden bold act and how close he was.
"J-jojo...?" You yelped as your heart was beating fast in your chest.
You were so confused as to what the hell was going on and why they were acting so weird. You knew the two could be up to some truly bizarre adventures sometimes, but that was just so strange.
Whatever they were trying to distract you from, it was working. His face was so close to yours, and his big hands were so warm, you subconsciously put your small ones over his wrists in response, face now red with blood and adrenaline.
You were beyond puzzled at everything that was happening, but you were so lost in Josuke's ocean blue eyes, you completely forgot about what Okuyasu was hiding so clumsily.
Speak of the devil, the tan male suddenly came up to you both, and Josuke released you from his grasp as his best friend made a surprisingly genius offer.
"Ohh Y/N, you didn't pay for that milk yet, right? Good, it's my treat then! Josuke, let's get some too! I'm thirsty."
The scar-faced boy casually wrapped a large arm around your shoulders and swiflty turned you around in his strong hold, effectively dragging you away from the adult section of the store, and barely letting you any time to even glance at the overly sexual display around you.
"Eh? What about that manga you wanted to show me?" You looked back at Josuke, regaining your composure slowly.
"Oh that? Never mind, it's not important anyway- Hey Okuyasu, do you want banana flavor or chocolate?" The fourth Jojo quickly changed the subject as he opened the fridge doors and picked up some drinks.
"You guys are acting so weird today..." You loved the boys, and they usually brought you into their messes, that wasn't anything new, but sometimes you really couldn't understand them. "I'll go wait in line while you guys make up your minds."
You gently patted Okuyasu's chest who almost forgot to let you go and you walked away towards the cash register.
When you were finally out of earshot, they both stared at each other, thinking of how they just dodged a bullet so big, it might as well just have been an atomic bomb.
"D-dude... That was so clutch man...." Josuke sighed, still swallowing his stress out and his best friend only shut his eyes and cringed before grabbing his drink.
"Just shut up, let's not talk about it..."
"Aaahh!!" Okuyasu let out a loud sigh of delight as he sipped his banana milk. "Man, that hit the spot."
"Yeah! Nothing better than some fresh milk in the summer. Great idea Y/N."
You three walked out of the store and headed back home, enjoying your drinks. You giggled at their over-the-top reaction and handed them your own carton.
"You guys want to try strawberry flavor?"
"Oohh~" Okuyasu gushed before smirking and taking the item from your hands. "An indirect kiss from my little Y/N! Lucky~"
Josuke gasped and snatched the drink as well, snickering when he was done. "Can't say no when she's the one who proposed huehue!"
"Well you both drank from the same straw, so technically you two kissed too!" You laughed at their priceless shocked facial expressions.
"WHAT?!"
"Naah dude, no homo, no homo." Josuke patted his friend's back, reassuring him with the holy expression famous for saving countless men from potential homosexuality.
Okuyasu sighed in relief. "Yeah, no homo! Still in the bro zone, bro."
You snorted at their questionable reasoning and kept on walking when you suddenly saw two familiar faces coming towards you.
"Oh! It's Koichi and Yukako!" You waved and smiled at the couple who approached you.
"Oh hey guys, what are you doing?" The short male greeted with a smile.
"Oh nothing much, I bumped into them in the konbini." You sheepishly answered and Yukako quirked an eyebrow at the two suspicious looking males next to you.
"Really?" She feigned, still staring at them. "What were they doing without you I wonder..."
"I don't know, reading manga I think? I'm not sure, they wouldn't tell me." You tried to look between her and them and they seemed to glare at the girl as hard as she did them.
"Huh?" She scoffed and shifted her weight on one leg." I bet you guys were reading porn again. Y/N I can't believe your patience around those guys."
"HUUUHHH???" Koichi yelled in pure surprise at the revelation and you three widened your eyes.
"YOU FREAKIN- OH MY GOD SHUT UP!" Okuyasu gasped and screamed at the girl who was smirking in victory.
"W-what?" You stuttered and looked at the two visibly stressed boys. "Po-... I don't- ... What??"
"Y/N DON'T LISTEN TO HER SHE'S LYING!" Josuke guiltily tried to reason as you covered your mouth in shock.
"Well it's the truth, right? Did I hit a sensitive subject, perhaps?" The brunette chuckled cutely, infuriating your friends even more.
"YOU'RE DEAD!!!"
Josuke sprinted towards Yukako who easily hoisted her awe-struck boyfriend over her shoulder and ran for dear life, having no regrets whatsoever.
An old one. A very old fic, it hurts to read it. I'm going to go ahead and post some old stuff I wrote just to get them out of my drafts. I hope they'll be enough for my beautiful gangsters.
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soupthatistohot · 3 years ago
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Sk8 headcannons because brainrot
- Langa doesn't know how to swim except the doggy paddle
- Reki wanted a dog as s kid so badly that he made an entire presentation about it for his parents and got his sister involved, too. They had to tell him no, because they couldn't afford it and because dogs require a lot of attention. Reki wouldn't speak to his mother for two days.
- Reki has definitely tried to skateboard in high heels before and he definitely failed
- Miya's YouTube recommended page consists solely of playthroughs and theories for his favorite RPGs
- Kojiro was a pokemon kid
- Langa had braces in middle school but hardly anyone noticed because of how quiet he was. His mouth was almost always closed, and he smiled with his mouth closed for photos, so there is no photo documentation that he ever even had braces
- Langa doesn't take a lot of photos, not at all. If he does, it's of nature or whatever. He has, like, one photo of him and Reki in his phone.
- Reki takes more videos than photos. If vine was around when he was a teen, he definitely would've made a viral video
- Kaoru got the first piercing because Kojiro dared him to, thinking he wouldn't actually do it. After that he just kept getting them because he thought they looked cool. (Though he definitely did that first piercing himself and it got infected. He went to tattoo parlors after that)
- the only person in the past five years who has seen Kaoru in anything but a yukata (or similar traditional clothing) is Kojiro. Apparently Kaoru wears shorts in his own home occasionally.
- Reki has long eyelashes
- Reki always has to remind Langa to wear sunscreen, even on cloudy days. Langa did NOT inherit any genes from his mother that would allow him to tan, and thus was constantly either a) white as a sheet or b) red as a tomato
- as soon as Koyomi learned what "gay" was, she looked at Reki and Langa and decided that they were secretly dating (they were not, but she wasn't that far off, it was just mutal pining!)
- Reki knows that airpods are useful and convenient and he can definitely afford them but refuses to ever buy them
- Reki likes grape flavored popsicles and Langa and Miya agree that this is a crime against humanity
- Miya loves sour candy and once made Reki and Langa eat seven warheads at once with him. He was majorly unaffected, but the other two actually physically damaged their tastebuds
- Miya eats lemons in restaurants (including Sia La Luce, and it drives Kojiro crazy)
- Miya doesn't like lemonade, though. It's too sugary.
- Before "S", Hiromi's persona of Shadow lived online as an internet troll
- Langa gets weirdly invested in internet drama even though he doesn't know the first thing about the people they're about (he could tell you the whole timeline of the Tati and James Charles drama tho)
- Reki's English writing is just as bad as Langa's Kanji, and they try to help each other with it but get a little frustrated
- While Miya has great grades in school, it's not because it comes easily to him (like skating). He actually works really hard, and he struggles the most with reading and writing. His favorite class is art.
- Kojiro is a truth serum drunk
- Reki really likes sunflowers, and just flowers in general. He'd probably never say it out loud to anyone but Hiromi or maybe Langa, but he just thinks they're pretty and appreciates their beauty.
- Langa is not a picky eater, but he will, under NO circumstances, eat anything with mustard on it.
- Kojiro taught himself how to braid hair in middle school using Kaoru's hair (he very reluctantly let Kojiro do this)
- Langa used to have a lisp as a child, but he eventually grew out of it
- Reki has glasses with a fairly weak prescription that he just doesn't use (they're supposed to be "just for school" but he really cannot be bothered. plus, he heard that if you don't wear glasses when you need them that your vision won't worsen and might even improve)
- Kojiro not only speaks fluent Italian, but also is proficient in French and even speaks English well enough to get his point across
- Reki loved reading American comic books as a kid. It was just too bad that he had no clue what the dialogue was. He'd try to come up with the dialogue himself, though, and his mom would always find him muttering to himself in various voices when reading
- Reki's headband was a gift from Oka
- Almost anyone in Reki's school could call him their friend, but he never really hung out with anyone (but his other friend who used to skate) until Langa came along
- Langa is a good dancer, Reki... is not (but he has fun!)
- Kaoru can break dance, but no one but Kojiro knows this (for now)
- Miya never has a huge growth spurt like everyone expects him to, he remains below average in height
- Reki doesn't watch a lot of shows, but he LOVES Avatar: the Last Airbender (I assume that show has been translated into Japanese??)
- Langa straightened Reki's hair once with his mother's iron. He burned both his ears multiple times
- Miya actually has a convoluted haircare routine
- Kojiro got Kaoru into the habit of always carrying around lip balm with him (whenever Kaoru would ask to borrow his, he would make an indirect kissing joke. eventually Kaoru just got his own)
- Reki definitely had a crush on the friend that taught him to skate and just did not realize it at the time because he thought he only liked girls
- Reki sleeps under his sheets and blanket all year round
- Langa had terrible acne in his early teen years and he was an early bloomer
- Reki had a tooth gap before he got braces
- Miya wears Invisalign, Reki and Langa insist that he’ll never know the torture that was having braces and remark how “kids these days” have it so easy
- Langa is good at history, mostly because he has a decent memory
- Kojiro got homesick very often when he was in culinary school in Italy, and he called his parents every Sunday
- Langa had a kindergarten girlfriend who was absolutely heartbroken when Langa told her that he just wasn’t that interested. She threw a temper tantrum and punched Langa in the face.
- Hiromi was in a long-term relationship with a girl in high school, but they broke up when she left for college. It took him a while to recover.
- Hiromi is better at mariokart than Miya and it pisses him off
- no one wants to be in the room when Kaoru and Kojiro play mariokart against each other
- Reki got sick a lot as a kid, usually just the common cold (which was kind of ironic given the climate he grew up in)
- Langa never really held anyone’s hand (not since he was a literal child, anyway) until he met Reki. He then discovered that he liked having his hand held
- Kaoru wears eyeliner to “S”
- it takes Langa a few months to really start to unpack his boxes and decorate his room when he moves to Okinawa
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onlymexsarah · 4 years ago
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Prince Friedrich | Amore e Psiche
MAIN MASTERLIST
Request 1: “ i loved both jealousy and taste of sin so much!! 😍😍you literally made my day better. i would love to see more of them together. maybe how them courting or their first encounters? 😇🥲”
Request 2: “ I cant say i saw anything wrong with your prince friedrich imagine. I actually really fooocking loved it 🥰 💕!! It was so 🥰 cute!! I need more! Would you be willing to do a prequel of sorts where she met him and their walks in the park? Or even from his perspective of his first thoughts of the reader? “
Summary: (This is the prequel of “Prince Friedrich | Jealousy”) the behaviour of your sister Daphne brought you to meet Prince Friedrich at the ball with the Queen. 
Pairing: Prince Friedrich x Bridgerton!reader
Warnings: my english :)
A/N: For this one I got inspired by the story of Cupid and Psyche, if you don’t know it I leave you there a summary because there will be many allusions at their story ;)
SEQUEL 1 - SEQUEL 2
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“Do you think that he will speak german? Or maybe he knows english? Oh, do you recon if His Highness had ever travelled?” you asked excited at your brother, Benedict, while you entered at the ball.
“I do not know, sister. You can ask these question to him personally, tonight.” he said ironical smiling at the Lords who walked beside you. 
“If he will have time for them, my dear brother. I am sure that if he’ll want peace he will have to disappear somewhere where the Ladies will be not able to find him.” you both laughed searching around the room your sister Daphne.
“Be careful with that tounge, Y/n. You know that I love you for that, but not many Lords will think the same.” he warned you kindly knowing that your temper wasn’t like the others Ladies.
“Fortunately I don’t want many Lords. I think that Lord de Bethencourt had hit the right string in me, and he likes me for who I am, Benedict.” you smiled thinking about your suitor, Lord de Bethencourt, that since the first ball had started courting you as a true gentleman without boring or offending you in any ways. “Look, there is my sister with...Simon.” 
Benedict could hear your smirk even without looking at you, indeed his attention was captured by the opening of the large doors followed by the entrance of Queen Charlotte with her nephew, Prince Friedrich of Prussia. 
“Oh, they are arri...ved....” your breating stopped for few seconds causing Benedict to look at you; however your gaze was fixed on the guy who’s arm was intertwined with the Queen’s. You would had sworn to have seen Cupid himself revealing his face for the first time as he did with Psyche after their marriage. When his eyes met yours, you were sure that Canova must had taked ispiration from him for Cupid’s sculpture, because never in your life you had ever seen such beauty as the Prince himself.
“I will be not surprise when you will drag Colin in Prussia at your next travel.” Benedict joked smirking looking the Prince who now was approaching your sister. 
You woke up from your dreams blinking many times to understand what was happening. The Prince now was speaking with Daphne but at some point she laughed, and from his face you could see that he hadn’t say something funny. “Well, surely now he knows how the Bridgertons are.” you said shrugging slightly keeping your elegant posture. “One of us should go and apologies for her.”
You looked Benedict, he looked you. Both wanted to send the other because neither of you liked to speak with the Queen. “Look your Charming Prince is coming, I must let you to know him.”
“What! No you must stay here and intimidate him! It is what you brothers are made for.” you tried to keep his arm in your hands without looking clumsy, but obviously he was stronger than you.
“Trust me, sister, you can intimidate him perfectly by yourself.” he gave you one last smirk before slipping away among the people leaving you alone. You heard the heels of the Queen approaching, and with still your amused smile you turned around ready to meet them.
The Prince’s eyes were already on you making your cheeks turned into a soft pink. His smile suggested you that he had assist at the scene with your brother, even if he couldn’t hear what you said, and when the Queen spoke briefly about you he wasn’t surprise to know that you were also a Bridgerton. He noticed happily that you were a particular family.
“Miss Y/n Bridgerton, he is Your Highness Prince Friedrich of Prussia.” the cold voice of the Queen interrupted you from staring Prince’s eyes. 
“Your Grace, it’s a pleasure meeting you.” you bowed slowly wanting to remember at the Queen that Daphne wasn’t the only one who could bow in a charming way. 
“Please, my aunt loves the title, but Prince Friedrich is more than enough, Miss Bridgerton.” he smiled kindly at you when you stood up. He bowed too, kissing your hand over your glove charmed by your smile. He had the pleasure to see it long before approaching, when the smile had began more polite and less amused. He saw you interacting with your brother in such a natural way that he couldn’t not think that you were the only two people who didn’t hide behind a mask.
“I hope you enjoied the journey, Prince Friedrich. I heard that the English Channel is not always so kind with its sailors.” he appreciated that you didn’t say the same questions or senteces of the others Ladies he met, but instead you chose to make an indirect question adding a true fact and leaving him the word.
“I was lucky, the sky was blue and the sun had welcomed us with the warmest of its rays.” you were happy to hear the German accent in his voice while he kept speaking, like you had imagined since the news of his arrival. 
“I am happy to hear that, and I wanted to apologies for the behaviour of my sister, few moments ago. We are a very...vivacious family.” you giggled at your last words thinking about all the time that you and your brothers had made your mother loosing her mind. 
He could not hold a laugh at your comment, knowing perfectly what meant growing up in a big family with people you love. He ignored Queen’s eyes on him that was waiting to walk away; he just staied still admiring your features while with still your smile on you were looking the couples who were ending their dance.
“Have you had already the pleasure to dance, Lady Y/n?” he asked curious letting the Queen understand that he hadn’t the intention of going away. 
“Unfortunately, not yet. I have arrived few minutes before you, Your Grace, and your arrival had shadowed my presence here, I think.” you raised an eyebrow turning your gaze on him. Benedict was right, you could intimidate people by your own and you had so much fun doing that, because it was beautiful seeing the men taken back by a woman. 
He raised his hand offering it to you with shining eyes and a little bow. “Your beauty is too shiny to be shadowed; I beg you to let me repair at what I have done. Perhaps with a dance?” 
The Queen looked him shocked while your smile grew bigger. “I do not think it will be appropriate, Friedrich.” she said worried.
“It is my fault that this beautiful Lady has not been invited to dance yet, I cannot let to this injustice to happen.” he felt his heart lighter when he heard your laugh. 
You took his hand happily to have the power of doing something that the Queen didn’t approve; she had made the mistake to understimate you just because your vitality that a Lady shouldn’ t have, and now you were taking her nephew away under he own nose. “I suppose a dance can repair your damage, Prince Friedrich.”
You hadn’t realize that you were actually to be about to dance with a Prince, untile all the eyes were on you. You two were let alone at the centre of the room, standing in front of each other without looking away from the other’s eyes. Whispers could be heard around you, Benedict was looking the face of the mothers around him to make a laugh while Daphne was positively surprised with beside her Simon had a huge grin on his face. 
After bowing you stepped closer to let one of his hand resting on your hips while with the other he took yours. You rested your left hand on his shoulder and the music began covering the whispers and leaving the only two of you to dance.
“It is a honor being your first dance of tonight, Lady Bridgerton.” he said breaking your silent. 
“You flatter me, Your Grace.” he spinned you taking all the space you wanted since no one had yet joined you. “Although you stil haven’t meet my all family; you would find yourself less honored and more...longing to walk away and never meet us again.”
With your surprise he laughed lowering his head a little looking the ground for a moment. He felt attracted by your humor; it made him feel more relaxed and it brought him memories about his childhood with his cousins with who he was used play and laugh every day.
“I find it quite impossible, my Lady, but tell me something about you...I heard that you are a traveller; which place has the unattainable fortune to own your heart?” his voice was smooth and sweet but still with the firmness of a Prince. You wondered if the choice of wearing the same blue of his eyes had been his own choice or it was you that sometime observed too much.
“I’ve been in few places with my brother, Lord Colin Bridgerton, but I hope to see more.” he nodded understanding the feeling. “I found Scotland quite lovely, but if I have to be honest, my heart would like to take a little farm in Ireland and settle there among the green of its beautiful landscape.” 
More you two spoke, and more he noticed how much things you had in common. You hadn’t problem to talk sincerely, you knew he was out of your league; in that room there were few Ladies who could be a future princess, and you were very aware that one of them was your sister. However the feeling that Cupid was in front of you in all his beauty was still in your chest; you couldn’t even decide which part of him you liked the most, because every thing of him matched perfectly together; his warm smile suggested the humility he had, his big blue eyes seemed belong to a baby who looked everywhere with wonder and his curly blonde hair looked like freshly cut wheat. 
When the music ended you bowed at each other. He took your and kissing it without taking his eyes away from yours. Were butterflies those in your stomach? “You put me in a difficult position, my Lady. I cannot compliment with a part of you without mention the others.” his smile and his voice made you blush while he was still holding your hand. “You are a wonderful woman, Miss Y/n, and a divine dancer. I shall look to meet you again, if you allow me.”
You felt your heart beat fast in your chest, almost as it wanted to speak with Prince Friedrich personally. “Your words enchant me, Prince Friedrich. I would be more than delighted to talk with you again, maybe next time you could tell me about Prussia and suggest some place to visit for my next journey.”
“I will be not surprise when you will drag Colin in Prussia at your next travel.” you heard Benedict’s voice in your head laughing at you, but the Prince’s presence was like a drug to you.
“I will look forward to hear about your journeys, my Lady.” with a last smile, you walked in different directions still with all the eyes on you. 
He found himself looking for you around the room more often than he were conscious; he learned fast that the gentleman with who you danced few times was Lord de Bethencourt, a French Lord who since your first debut had expresses the interest he had toward you in the most romantic way. He saw you two laughing, speaking and dancing with a chemistry he envied. When you would laugh due something that Lord de Bethencourt had whispered in your ear, he would ask himself what he had said to you and the same when you were commited in a deep conversation about God knew what.
The Queen had tried to make him dance with Daphne, but he wasn’t blind and he could see the affection that your sister shared with Simon, but at some point of the night Lady Cressida fainted in his arms catching the attention of everyone. 
You saw with a smile that the two of them made a beautiful couple, and Cressida had always radiated royalty in everything she did. To be honest, it didn’t touch you at all; you had enjoied Prince’s company and the dance had made many gentlemen coming to you and ask for a dance so who you were to complain?
When you fell asleep you could not ask yourself why Cupid had decided to reveal his face at you so soon when with Psyche he tried to hide it everytime. You didn’t know there could exist such beauty in just a person, and still the Prince where there, in your same city and you had shared a dance together. You wished that just like Psyche, Cupid would come to you and take you away to live together, but this time Cupid was a Prince, and as a Prince he could not avoid his duty.
Dear readers,
I know you were waiting the edition of the morning, and after what happened last night at the ball I can understand you.
If you weren’t at the ball then you didn’t assist at the rivelation of the season. We all know that Daphne Bridgerton had been declared the Diamond of the season by the Queen herself, but it was another Lady who danced with Your Highness of Prussia. Indeed, Prince Friedrich and Lady Y/n Bridgerton had shared their first dance together under the disapproval look of the Queen.
Surely Lady Violet must be excited to have under her roof a future Duchess and a future Princess, and if you think that I am too fast to judge then you didn’t see Miss Y/n and Prince Friedrich at all. But Prince Friedrich must had seen that Lady Bridgerton had already a suitor, the handsome gentleman Lord de Bethencourt, I am sure we all are curious to see what will happen.
However the Prince seemed to have taked the attention of another suitable Lady, Miss Cressida Cowper. The young woman had fainted between the arm of Prince Friedrich and he helped her like a real Charming Prince, but if your eyes had fallen on Lady Y/n for a moment you could have seen that she was smiling, and not a polite one, but a true smile! 
Is it possible that the charm of our Charming Prince didn’t charmed her at all? Maybe her heart is already living in France, but I would not be surprise if in few day the Prussia will reclaim her heart as its own.
If something happen, I will be the first to tell you.
Yours, Lady Whistledown. 
“How was the Prince? Did he invite you at palace? Was he like the princes of the farytails?!” the shrill voice of Hyacinth filled the room in the exact moment you entered in the Living room the next morning.
“Let your sister breath, Hyacinth. Come sweatheart, sit here and tell us about last night.” your mother said making you sit on the couch beside her excited.
“Mama, I stop you here before you start to hyperventilate. We shared only one dance and it was beacuse I almost forced him to do so.” you giggled at the lovely memory of your dance.
“Although, he didn’t seem forced. I would say he quite enjoied your dance.” Benedict said slyly and you launched a pillow at him hitting his face.
“You were beautiful together, Y/n. Everyone couldn’t stop looking at you during the ball.” Daphne said smiling sweetly making you blush.
“Stop! All of you. It was only a dance and-”
You were interrupted by three servants who entered in the room with three baskets of flowers. “A gift for Miss Y/n Bridgerton.” 
They put the flowers on the table leaving all of you Bridgerton looking at each other curious. It wasn’t unusual that someone sent you gifts, but no one had ever sent you so many flowers; usually it was enough just one baskets or few rose. 
“Whoever send these must want your hand badly.” joked Colin while you walked toward the table. 
“Maybe he will, look at this Lilies!” Lilies were your favourite flower, indeed there was a spot in the park full of them where you were used to go whenever you wanted to relax alone.
You took the ticket that was on the second baskets seeing that there was your name written with an elegant handwriting. “Make sure to read it out loud, sister.” said Anthony with a smirk.
“Lovely Miss Y/n,
the memory of our dance took the charge of my thoughs and the time we shared together seems a dream. My heart wish to hear more about your journeys and dreams, I hope my presence in the park these days will be accepted from you and perhaps we could talk again.
In the meantime, I thought about what you said of living in a little farm in Ireland, and I could not resist but imagine that these flowers would be perfect in your future garden.
Sincerely, Prince Friedrich.”  your voice had become exciter after the first part of the letter, and now you didn’t know if it was a dream or it was all real.
“I didn’t know that in Prussia had such low standard:” Benedict.
“Our sister will become a Princess!” Colin.
“Yes, a Princess who will make all the Prussia crazy due her talkativeness .” Anthony. 
“Y/n Bridgerton! Did you tell at the Prince that you want to live in a farm?!” Lady Violet yelled shocked by her own daughter actions.
“In my defence he liked it!” you said trying to hold a laugh. “And then...come on! Who would ever imagine that he was truly listening me?! I though, and still thing, that he is out of my league so why not being sincere?”
“Well, I would dare to say that he was truly listenting you.” said Benedict giggling earning a death glare from you.
“It is his fault!” you pointed at him looking your mother.
“Why mine?” he stood up suddenly confused.
“He left me alone when the Prince was approaching! I was unsupervised, and you know what happen when I am unsupervised.” you hoped that it would be a good excuse, but the look of your mother said otherwise. “Alright, when I’ll see him again I say that I’ve lied, my real dream is living in a huge castle full of jewerly, rules and boring stuff. Because we all know how much I love the boring stuff.” 
Your drammatic tone made everyone laugh until the arrival of the first suitors for you and your sister. 
You tried to stay focus on what they were saying, but every now and then your eyes felt on the baskets of flowers that were on the table worring about what the Prince was doing. Had he visisted some Lady? Maybe Lady Cressida? Or maybe he sent flowers to all the Ladies with who he had danced the last night...you wouldn’t be surprise since you had seen how much was big his kindness.  
Waking up with the sight of his flowers in your bedroom made your next mornings starting in a good way. That afternoon you would meet Lord de Bethencourt at the park, and in a hidden place of your mind you were hoping to see Prince Friedrich there. 
You had the beautiful idea to taking a walk with the horses so you had the opportunity to put on your new dark blue suit. The clouds were covering the sun colouring the air around you of a light shade of grey, indeed there weren’t many people out letting you two to enjoy the company of each other. 
“And what was the thing that inspired a lovely lady like you to learn French?” Lord de Bethencourt asked you curious.
“You see, my Lord, with my passion for travelling the desire to know other languages came by itself. It wasn’t easy at the beginning, I must say, but I find it so romantic that I could not stay in my ignorance.” you looked over his shoulder for a moment seeing a blonde haired head sitting not far away from you.
“There is so many places in France that would be lucky to being seen by you, my Lady. Perhaps the next time shall I talk about them?” he asked taking firmly his reins ready to return at his home.
“You must, Lord de Bethencourt. I wish you a good night.” you smiled at him and after having wished you a good day he kicked his horse making him trot away. 
Could you go home and relax with a good book and warm blankets? Yes.
Did you wanted to do so? Absolutely no.
So in a very natural way you turned around your horse and went towards the blonde haired man you had seen few moments before. The park was huge so you started to look around enjoing the green that was around you and looking the swan that was in the middle of the little lake at your right.
Few metres before the man, who you saw was sitting at a table admiring the lake, some guards stopped you and your waitress from going further. “I am sorry Miss, but you cannot get closer.” 
“Then would you be so kind to guide me at home toward another street?” you replied with fake concern. You knew very well that there were plenty other street that would bring you home, but you wanted some fun earning his attention. 
“I am really sorry Miss, but I cannot let you go further.” he looked truly sorry, but most of the men forget that a woman has more power than what they believe; indeed it was you favourite hobby making the Lords apologies with you for whatever and whenever you want.
“Then let me adjust this problem.” you cleared your throat holding the smirk that fought so hard to be free. “Your Highness! When you said that you would like to stay in my company again I didn’t expect that you would forbid me to go home.” 
Prince Friedrich turned around looking surprised at you. The guard’s mouth felt open while you kept your sweet smile on your face rather amused by all the situation. 
“Lady Bridgerton, for a moment I though to have seen a mirage...tell me, my guard had been unkind to you?” he walked closer to you, but you didn’t get off the horse kepping your back straight and looking him up down.
“There is not enough sun for a mirage, Prince Friedrich; unfortunately it’s just me.” you let out a giggle and a smile appeared on his face. “Although, no you guard didn’t do anything out of your orders, but I was unhappy when I found out that I couldn’t get back at home...”
“Your unhappiness bring me pain, my Lady.” he brought a hand to his heart bowing respecfully. “I cannot say that I am not pleased to see you again. Can I apologies for this misunderstanding wìth a cup of tea?” 
You smiled with pride seeing that you made the Prince asking you sorry twice without even commit yourself too much. You looked behind you your brother Anthony that had been your silent chaperon for all day and after he gave you a nod smirking you turned your attention to the Prince again.
“How could I say no after the wonderful flowers you sent me?” he offered happily his hand to help you to get off the horse and you accepted it gladly. When a guard approached to take your horse you looked at him carefully. “Be careful with her. She is not fond with men due her...brutal childhood, so be kind and treat her as a Princess, because she is, right Cassidy?” you caressed your horse affectionately before giving the reins at the guard. 
“What happened to Cassidy?” the Prince asked curious bringing you at the table and holding the chair for you.
“She was born to race. Her first owners used to do illegal races and it wasn’t unusual for them to beat her to make her run faster. My brother, Lord Anthony Bridgerton, found them and all the horses had been selt, but she was frightened by everything; so an afternoon I decided to visit Cassidy and day by day I took care of her.” you said lost in your memories with a little smile on your lips. 
“She had been very lucky to find you, Miss Y/n, and do you like riding often?” he offered you a cup of tea that you took thanking him kindly.
“Oh yes. Mostly when I want to go in the countryside and take a walk among the green. I find horses beautiful animals.” 
“I agree. So, I hope I had helped your immagination with those flowers.” he smiled with a little blush on his cheeks. If Cupid owned already such beauty, why he must own even the most melodious voice that your ear had ever heard? Wasn’t enought enchanting your eyes? What did he want from a normal human like you? Why didn’t he fly to his Psyche and let you live happily?
“These flowers made me dreams more vividly about my future garden, Prince Friedrich, and your words had been poesy for my eyes.” he must had done something to your tea, because with few words you were drunk of his presence. You didn’t dare to allow you to dream about a future with him, because you knew he was a dream to live day by day so that when you would wake up you would not have any regrets. 
You talked and talked; he made you laugh and your spontaneity made him attracted to you even more. He watched your smile, your eyes, your pink cheeks and the beautiful light that turned on everytime you talked about something you loved. He found out that weren’t you only a strong woman, but you were also acculturated, clever and smart; this made him liking even more your power to stand up for yourself even with men. 
“But if I will go to France, the first thing I desire to see if the sculpture of Cupid and Psyche, their story affascinate my since I was a kid.” you ended your speech about the place you wished to go in the future.
“Such a beautiful love story. I read it long time ago and still it is in my head so vividly that I could recite some part of it.” he agreed completely absorbed in your conversation.
“Indeed, I dare to say that is one of my favourite love story ever. He, the god of love find love in a human girl due his own mistake, and to protect her and himself from the mother he decided to hide his face. I mean, yes his love started because one of his own arrow hit him, by I think it was destiny.” your voice was music to his ear, he wished to be able to listen you all day.
For a moment he seemed to see cupid behind you with his arrow pointed at his chest and when his eyes felt on your face again he could feel a strange feeling in his chest, as if Cupid’s arrow had hitten him for real. 
SEQUEL:  Jealousy and The Sweet Taste Of Sin 
483 notes · View notes
mingying · 3 years ago
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[spoilers] hospital playlist s2 ep 11; ikjun/songhwa
I can’t believe this finally happened. And it happened in arguably the best ways possible for us IkSong shippers. As usual, this post is just basically my own thoughts and opinion of the episode and my interpretation of things - feel free to disagree, and I hope you enjoy reading this musing of mine!
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22 years later, finally they found each other again <3
TL;DR: Everything happens for a reason and we have finally reached the rainbow end <3
Let’s begin by addressing the ER scene, but before that, I would like to point out that since Ep 10, Songhwa has been shown to be somewhat forgetful and a klutz - in Ep 10, she was searching for her socks and insisted that she wore them for her rounds. She also seemed to have forgotten to take off her surgical cap until Seonbin pointed it out to her.
In Ep 11, the episode starts off with Songhwa leaving her handbag in Ikjun’s office, and subsequently her handphone, followed by her handbag in the car again. This is not a dementia arc, guys (haha) but I genuinely think that this is her mind being occupied by her newly realised feelings for Ikjun that her normally composed self had started to crumble (and that’s entirely ok!). Another interpretation of this scene could be that unintentionally and subconsciously, she just wanted to remain in the hospital knowing Ikjun may return to collect his gift later.
Can I also point out her sixth sense in this scene? When she peered out of her window and heard the sound of ambulance, followed immediately by Dr Bong calling, she looked disturbed. Normally, she would have answered her calls immediately without hesitation but this time you could tell that she frowned and waited for maybe 2 seconds before answering Dr Bong. Well, never messed with a woman’s intuition I guess!
The ER Scene. Gosh. I actually have a lot of things to say about this. I know some people do not like this trope and that it is a typical trigger for characters to realise their feelings. But, I’d have to say that ShinLee did not intend for this scene to be a trigger of Songhwa realising that she likes Ikjun.
Because she already knows and had realised, somewhere around Ep 8-9 but more obviously 9, that she does like him as a man (all over again). If anything, this ER scene was meant to give Songhwa that one last push to confess, otherwise she may end up regretting not to. Another reason why I felt this scene was necessary was that Songhwa has been too comfortable in Ikjun’s constant presence by her side -- perhaps she has been wanting to confess but still lack the courage to and she didn’t think she needed to act on it rightaway because Ikjun would always be there by her side.
Gosh, the way she rushed to Ikjun and didn’t even hear Dr Bong trying to report to her that he actually wasn’t in such a terrible state. The way she slipped her hand in his and was so gentle in her questions - you can really just tell that she was trying her best not to crumble.
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(side note: Jeon Mido, your acting was truly stellar during this scene. That suppressed professionalism vs personal feelings. I really felt her worry and regret in this entire scene. I loved it so much)
Now, why do I firmly believe that Songhwa already intends to confess to Ikjun eventually? Other than the fact that Songhwa herself confirmed during her confession that “I should have told you that I liked you”, it’s because of the Gift that she has given him for his birthday. It’s a cap, and initially we don’t think much of it until the flashback sequence showed and we realised that, a cap was what 99z Songhwa wanted to give to Ikjun but never did because he had turned her down for dinner and lied that he has a blind date.
Present day Songhwa gifting Ikjun a cap can be interpreted as her having let go of the hurt he had caused her in the past and that she was willing to try, again.
Interestingly, I’d like to also point out that the 99z flashback in this episode was truly necessary for us to understand Songhwa’s aversion to ‘Sad Sea’ and why she has rejected Ikjun in the first episode. 99z Songhwa didn’t give up when Ikjun stood her up for her birthday but mustered the courage to confess to him - she tried twice too, asking if he really has to go on that blind date that evening and couldn’t he go another time? Ikjun, in that scene, was playing Sad Sea. 
I would like to apologise to Ep 7 Songhwa because I had been frustrated with her then, but now that everything has been rolled out beautifully, I do not blame her at all for her hesitancy and year long passiveness. Ikjun kinda deserved it after breaking her heart twice (HA!) and remember this shot of Ikjun in Ep 7? 
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I now interpret this scene as him realising that he knew Songhwa’s reasons of rejecting him. Because there was no way he didn’t know that Songhwa had liked him in the 99z, and he was perhaps regretting turning her down for dinner that day during his birthday. He knew he had a chance with her then but blew it, and that is perhaps why he never faltered in making Songhwa happy now. Not that he expects anything in return, but perhaps he wanted to make up for the indirect hurt he had caused her.
Bab Meokja had been something initiated by Songhwa back then. And now, it is a treat he gives himself -- I really do think that is the reason why he keeps asking Songhwa out for meals in the present time, because Ikjun probably wanted to indrectly make up for what happened in 99z.
Let’s move on to another great scene! The card game scene!
For some, it may seem to be a random scene but for me, I saw it in a different way and I’m glad Kfans and some users on Twitter pointed out this theory as well. 
As you all know, the card game IkSong was playing was “Bluff/Cheat”. Here, you could see that Ikjun could read Songhwa so well that he knows when she would lie. But Songhwa on the other hand, could not read Ikjun as well -- and this is further affirmed by Songhwa’s confession when she said “If your feelings for me haven’t changed,”. This is beautiful because it makes Ikjun’s expression during the confession scene even more sense -- a user on reddit pointed out that his expression at that time wasn’t more of a “omg she likes me after all”, it was more of a “she has realised her feelings for me,” and I think that’s absolutely beautiful. He even nodded subtlely a few times as Songhwa struggled to get her confession out, as if encouraging her and saying “you can do it, just a bit more”. 
Back to the card game - Ikjun even threw down a 9 Hearts - which I believe is a metaphor of his feelings for her, steady and still unwavering. 
(Bonus note: I absolutely love how Iksun caught on to them being lovey dovey at once and Junwan’s expression catching them was HILARIOUS)
On to my next scene which was absolute favourite.
Songhwa had finished a difficult/challenging surgery, and out of excitement (she even skipped omg whipped girlie), she called Ikjun first to convey the good news to him. Her tone here really depicts a difference in how she talks to Ikjun before. This scene alone tells you that Songhwa has pretty much fallen for Ikjun again and I love love love that finally she has someone she would want to immediately call to share her good news with! 
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And the best part? Our best boy Lee Ikjun never went to Changwon. Instead, he waited for her for probably hours (it was bright day when they said goodbye, but night when Songhwa returned to her office) and even told her straight that he has to see her before he leaves because of how worried she had been before. Good lord find me a man like Ikjun please? 
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image cr: iksongarchives @ twitter
This entire shot, with I Knew I Love playing in the background pretty much hits. It is in this exact moment that Songhwa has probably made up her mind to confess for real, that she wasn’t going to waste another second because I am sooo sure she would have ran to hug him if not because of their status at that moment. I love this scene so much. It is the personification of the lyrics of I Knew I Love, which goes “I called you out of habit today and you answered warmly, you make me the happiest in the whole wide world, I love you so much”.
And finally. 
Finally.
*takes a deep breath*
SONGHWA CONFESSED!!!!!!!!
AND THEY KISSED!!!! UNDER THE RAIN!!! 
The whole directing of this scene, with the slow camera panning into them - Ikjun was restless, probably breaking into cold sweats (he commented it was cold) while Songhwa was nervous and trying to muster enough courage to confess (she commented it was really hot). I held my breath for so long I felt like I was about to faint I swear to god.
Songhwa looked legit terrified that Ikjun was going to reject her man, and it all makes sense why after we got the 99z flashback this episode. 
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And Ikjun, he really waited for her cues. Even after she was done confessing, he looked at her and waited for her to look at him back before he went “I’ll give you my answer”. And it was only after Songhwa nodded in fear and anticipation, that he swooped in to kiss her!!!!!
Songhwa definitely also leaned in first before Ikjun pulled her closer. She wanted this just as much as he did and it showed through their first kiss. Gosh I’m still shaking just thinking about how perfect that entire sequence and kiss was. They really went all out for it (yes I believe there was tongue involved) rather than soft and gentle. 22 years of suppressed yearning and feelings really popped out in that kiss alone and I am so blessed to have been a part of their beautiful journey.
And now, with only one episode left, we are finally able to see IkSong as a couple and on dates. I have a feeling Songhwa would be the clingy gf man, judging from the Preview keke. I cannot wait to see the rest of the boys finding out, and for sure, I cannot wait to see how their dynamics would change now as lovers rather than just best friends. I do think their transition would be seamless, only that now, they get to do what other lovers could.
This post is so long but I felt the need to address another matter that I have seen roaming around the internet. Apparently, some people are annoyed that Songhwa was ‘forced to change her mind’ and that we cannot accept her ‘No’ in ep 1. I would humbly and respectfully disagree on this point. Songhwa’s ‘No’ in ep 1 was not a “I don’t like you therefore I am rejecting you”. It was more of a “I do not know how to sort out my feelings yet, and am not ready to revisit the past, so it is best not to tamper with it”. 
Songhwa did not change her mind overnight or weeks. It took her one year and a few months. She has had all that time to weighs her decisions again and properly thought out how she wanted to bring forward her relationship with Ikjun. She was not forced.
She may have said that she liked being single in S1, but she has never been averse to love. In fact, she is always encouraging other people to go for it. I for one, am single and absolutely enjoying it. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to ever change my mind if I find someone worthy enough to share my space and happiness with. I like being single now because guys around me are idiots and I’d rather save myself that headache LOL.
Her conscious decision to accept Ikjun now does not and will never invalidate her decision to reject him back then - in fact, it goes to show that as human beings, we constantly undergo character growth and our minds are often changed to suit the present circumstances. 
ShinLee did not portray Songhwa in that light where ‘women needs to say yes if a guy treats her right’. Ikjun did all of those things for her without expecting anything in return. He never once crossed the line and never once forced Songhwa into accepting his love for her. Songhwa said yes because she likes Ikjun and is now ready to move their relationship to that of romantic. It is as simple as that.
And one last point to make is that Songhwa being in a relationship does not in any way invalidate that she is a strong and independent woman. Please do not associate the relationship status of a woman to her being ‘strong/independent’. A woman in a relationship and a woman not being a relationship are still BOTH strong AND independent. Love is a universal element in life, why deprive a person of it simply because she’s portrayed to be a “strong” female character? If that love brings her greater joy and ardent happiness, why stop her from enriching her life further?
Anyway. I digress. 
If you made it until the end of this ridiculously long post, thank you. I hope it was an enjoyable read! Till Ep 12!
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hockeywhy · 4 years ago
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caught in the middle (2); m. barzal
PART 1 | PART 3 | PART 4 WARNINGS: language; there’s a suggestive scene in one of the flashbacks, but nothing more than that. WORD COUNT: 8.1k A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who read the first part! Your feedback got me so excited to continue working on this, and I hope you’ll enjoy this part also. I’ve been thinking about the story so far and its development, and I don’t see it ending at three parts like originally intended, so let’s see how it goes. Again, sections in italics represent flashbacks.
You swipe a palm across the mirror, brushing some of the condensation away and heave a sigh at your reflection. From beyond the door, you can just barely make out the sound of footsteps across the parquet of the living room accompanied by what was undoubtedly the slide of suitcase wheels. The room is otherwise quiet, no television on or music to provide a distraction or perhaps a little more noise and now more than ever, you know what it means when they say silence can be deafening. It makes you feel more exposed, anxiety heightened as if you should do anything in your power to try and lighten the mood but you’ve had countless of experiences in which trying too hard rarely paid off - if ever, really. Mat hadn’t said much either aside from letting you know you could have the bed as the couch could be converted into one and there were spare pillows and covers stored neatly in one of the cupboards, so you simply thanked him then called dibs on being the first to shower. 
It isn’t running away, you remind yourself, head bowed. It’s buying some extra time. 
Not only is this the first time in months you are to be in Mat’s presence for longer than a few minutes, but this is also the first time you and Mat would spend the night separated by a wall when previously, you couldn’t seem to be able to get close enough to one another. Before this, enough wasn’t quite enough. Before this, you’d count the minutes to when you could get home and be with Mat. It’s strange to be so close to him, to need to be so close to him, and yet neither of you can find comfort in that any longer. 
You squeeze your eyes shut tightly until you see stars behind them, then open them a few seconds later and blink away the brief daze. Like a presenter about to walk on a stage in front of thousands, you take a deep breath and exhale it quickly before proceeding to replace the towel around your body with one of the hotel issued robes.
You crack the door open just a little, briefly taking a peek of Mat right as he begins wrestling with opening the couch. There’s more grunting and turning one way or the other to peek at the inner mechanisms than there is actually succeeding in stretching it out and you can’t help the feelings of guilt that course through you. But it’s not like you can imagine being in the same bed as him again and trying to check for any additional spare rooms with reception is entirely out of question. There’s no way you’d be able to do that without anyone catching on to that and questioning it. This isn’t the weekend for it, after all. The last thing you need is to take or share the limelight. 
Mat must’ve felt your presence because he turns to look at you over his shoulder, and he takes that as a cue to give himself a break from wrestling with the couch. He huffs tiredly, standing up and brushing his palms against his jeans.
“All yours,” you say, stepping away from the bathroom door, the clothes you wore on the drive over held closely against your chest. “No luck with that yet?” 
“I’ll have a look at it later,” Mat responds, frowning down at the couch.
He stands rooted to the spot looking down at it as if it offended him, hands on hips and all, while you look at him glued to your own space halfway between the bathroom and the door to the bedroom of the suite. In a manner you can’t quite explain, it feels almost as if time stops in place because of course, your luck is that bad apparently: heaven forbid it would’ve done that at a better time in your life. He appears to be lost in thought, so despite yourself, you make the most of this moment. 
You look at his profile and recall how many times you cradled his head in your hands, pulling him in to kiss him: his cheeks, his forehead, his mouth, lips trailing along the line of his jaw. You think of the countless times in which his lips pressed against yours and every inch on your body and recall how his voice emanated warmth and love, and during those moments, you thought nothing and no one would be able to tear you apart from each other. You look at his hair and if you truly take the time to focus, you can easily recall the texture of those strands, just the perfect length for your fingers to twirl and play with, and how you would often detect notes of vanilla, coconut and something flowery - you shampoo, because he loved it so much. Your eyes trail down the expanse of his torso and remember the countless times his body was pressed against your own and how each and every time you thought this is where I’m safest. You look at his hands and still feel the softness of them upon your own and even know, you can still picture the way your fingers interlocked with his own and they fit perfectly. 
A shortness of breath makes you cough quietly, eyes blinking rapidly at the sudden blurriness and before Mat can look your way, you quickly cover the distance to the room and the door latches closed behind you with a soft click. 
Palms pressed against your mouth to muffle any sounds, you squeeze your eyes as tightly as you can and slide down against the wood until you’re down on the floor and pray to whoever or whatever may be listening that Mat can’t hear the sobs you’re trying so hard to hold back despite this battle having been lost before you even had a chance to stand against it.
You know now as well as you knew it back then: you miss Mat and you love him, and you’re terrified that a time when all of these feelings will be nothing but dull memories will never come.
*
“Holy shit, that was cool.” 
Mat shifts his body, turning so that he can prop himself up on his forearms, one on each side of your body. You look down at him, fingers falling out from his hair and he arches an eyebrow.
“I can do that with my eyes closed,” he declares.
You blink, a little confused, and then it dawns on you. “Pff.” A short laugh leaves your mouth and that seems to prompt Mat to narrow his eyes at you. Two can play the game, and you’re a pro at keeping up with him. “I mean, you say you can but you didn’t score a goal like that yet, so what makes you so sure?” 
On TV, the commentators pour praise on the unique between-the-legs goal scored and you make an entire show out of admiring the replay, whistling quietly. Mat gently tips your head away from the TV and he continues holding on to your chin to prevent you from looking away a second time. 
“Mark my words, baby. I’ll do it at our next game and then you’ll see. It’ll be ten times cooler,” he promises, determination backing his every word and it makes you grin because you know Mat is a man of his word and you can already imagine him trying his damnest to make that happen. 
Still, you hum contemplatively, not quite wanting to give in to him so quickly. You know Mat’s playful display of ‘jealousy’ was nothing but a front. It was one of his many ways of saying look at me or give me attention, any variant of an indirect way of asking you to reiterate your love towards him simply because he loved hearing the reassurance. Not that you could imagine feeling any other way towards him; not that you’d want to have it any other way. That, and, well, Mat could be a bit of a baby sometimes. 
“Do that,” you begin, and this time, it’s your hand under his chin, encouraging him to come closer, closer, closer until his warm breath collides with your own, “and I’ll make your congratulations, you’re so cool award the most unforgettable one so far.” 
You know your words would put a gleam in his eyes, that unmistakable hitch of his breath and the curve of a smirk on his lips. He crawls a bit further up until he’s almost nose to nose with you and instinctively, you raise a leg and wrap it over his waist, squeezing a little. He’s close enough, practically glued to you, but it’s the first evening you get to have him all to yourself after weeks of away games and you want all of him. As does he. Mat leans down to peck your lips once, twice, three times and he whispers an ‘oh yeah?’ that makes goosebumps form across your skin. 
“Mhm,” you hum and this time, you crane your neck to kiss him, arms wrapping around his neck, fingers gently grazing along the back of his neck. He trembles ever so lightly in your hold and you know that has nothing to do with the temperature in the apartment because it’s warm, just right. “Do it for me, Mat. Show off.” 
He laughs quietly against your lips and he begins trailing kisses from your jaw to the side of your neck and you tip your head back for him, eyes fluttering closed as a content sigh leaves your parted lips. There’s a shift of material and moments later, Mat’s slightly calloused palms crawl underneath the t-shirt that was once him but you claimed as your own months ago. It’s big around you, sleeves coming up to your elbows and you know that his last name is written in big bold white letters on the back although it’s pretty washed out now. His lips are now on your exposed stomach, butterfly kisses peppering your warm skin and you bite your lip while watching him do this. Strands of unstyled jet black hair tickle as he moves and you giggle quietly. It’s the sound of it that makes Mat look up and there’s a wicked smile on his lips. Moving swiftly, he sits back on the couch and pulls you to straddle his lap, body yielding to him before he gives you the control. Do what you want, however you want it. 
It’s your turn to slide your hands under his shirt and he doesn’t hesitate to stretch his arms up so that you can remove it for him, discarding it wherever it may fall. You slide your thumb against his lower lip and Mat barely just manages a chaste kiss to it before you lower your head down to kiss him and his lips part, the movement automatic. It’s the sort of kiss that’s sloppy and hot and you know you’ll remember it for days; hell, he’ll remember it for days, asking you to do that thing you did in the early hours of the morning or long after the sun has gone down or bringing it up over the phone when it’s just him and no one else in a hotel room hundreds of miles away from home, missing everything that has to do with you.
“Fuck,” he exhales, breathless and flushed once you both part from the kiss. You can’t help but grin proudly at how his eyes flutter closed and he stills in your arms though you know adrenaline pumps through his body the same way it does through yours. “I don’t think I can make it to the bedroom,” he admits and you burst into laughter. 
“Yeah, no shit,” you agree and just to make a point out of it, you relax your body so that you’re sitting back on his lap and there’s no mistaking whatsoever that he’s hard. “Well, there’s no rush anyway. We have all the time in the world, and an entire place to ourselves so…” you trail off, lifting a shoulder in a shrug. 
Mat opens his eyes and moves his hands from your hips to cradle your face, holding you in place to peck your lips. “So, I’m gonna love you so hard, it might just give that award of yours a run for its money.” 
You arch an eyebrow, pulling back enough so that you can tug the t-shirt over your head, dropping it to join his. “Walk the talk, Barzy,” you say.
He didn’t need any more encouragement than you already gave, but your words kick him into action almost instantly. 
*
A sharp thwack sound catches your attention and you look over in the distance to where Mat looks off in the distance while Tito prepares for his turn. It’s too far for you to see where the ball went but judging by Mat’s reaction, it’s obvious he didn’t quite nail whatever he intended to do. Tito probably chirps him for it because Mat throws a punch at his arm that you know is so light that probably neither of them felt it. Still, they laugh and the sound barely just carries over to where you’re sat. 
“He’s like that now, but if you’d seen him before the two of you got here…” Elise trails off and you just about manage to see her shake her head as if words wouldn’t even be sufficient in describing how Tito was. Still, there’s just so much fondness in her expression as she looks towards him out on the golf course that it makes you warmer than the light fleece blanket you wrapped around your shoulders. 
“You’d think it’d be the other way around,” you say.
“You’d think!” Elise repeats. “The past two mornings, he got up at who fucking knows when and went for a run. Not even a casual jog or whatever, but you’d think he’s been training for the Olympics.” 
You burst into laughter at the image that forms in your head of Tito being so full of nervous energy that he becomes the metaphorical lion in a cage. Still, it doesn’t surprise you as much as you thought it would. While away, you and Tito have been in contact occasionally either through texts or through the phone and often, he’d begin by saying “what do you think she’d say to XYZ”. He never failed to amuse you because many of his concerns were so small, but you could only imagine what it’d be like to be in his shoes: they were about to tie the knot and this isn’t exactly a day to day type of event. Elise was at that point also, back when preparations for it were just kicking off and most of their days consisted of appointment after appointment with wedding planners that occasionally made her feel as if she’d never be able to pick from all the choices laid out to her. With the day just around the corner, she seems more content, more relaxed. Of course, her nerves are still there but Elise has the sort of air around her that puts you under the impression it wouldn’t be impossible for her to conquer the world in the next hour if she suddenly decides to. 
You reach for your drink, twirling the straw around the glass before taking a sip from it. The tang of citrus is refreshing but you do need a quick sip of water to mellow the sharpness of alcohol mixed in. 
“Want to bet he’ll be the one crying when he sees you walk the aisle?” you ask her, wiggling your eyebrows at her suggestively. 
Elise smiles, a small almost shy smile as she diverts her gaze towards her own drink. She takes a sip from it but she still smiles around the straw. “Let’s hope I don’t start first and end up tripping on my way there.” She physically cringes at the thought of it, eyes squeezing shut and shoulders trembling before she quickly waves her hands as if trying to dismiss the idea. “Oh god, no, I can’t think of it otherwise it’ll happen.”
“You’ll be fine,” you assure her, reaching to grasp her hand and Elise welcomes the gesture, squeezing your own in return but still holds on to it as if for dear life. “I promise. It’ll go by so smoothly and everything will be perfect.”
“I’ll take your word for it. You’re usually right.” 
“Not always,” you correct her, lightheartedly while trying to prevent your mind from beginning a count of the amount of times you’ve been wrong. You don’t need that spoiling your mood or worse, the evening overall.
Elise ponders on that. “Actually, you’re right. Remember before you left and said Mat would be fine, he’s a big boy, after I said it’ll be hard for him to get used to it?” You swallow uncomfortably. Yes, you remember that. Clear as if it only happened yesterday. “Well, you were wrong about that for sure.”
Your mouth feels dry and it’s as if all energy has been sucked out of you suddenly, and all in one go. You don’t want to have this conversation and you certainly don’t want to look into this much more than you should. After all, you and Mat agreed you’ll put up a front so for all you know, he may just be a better actor than you imagined he’d be. Mat was only putting on an attitude everyone expected him to have and that’s all there is to it. You did it too, after all. When Elise would call or come down to Baltimore and Mat would come up in conversation, you told her how much you missed him; how even if you called and FaceTimed, it wasn’t enough. 
“So then come back,” she’d tell you. “It’s not like they wouldn’t want you back in New York, if it’s work related.” 
“Mat understands,” you’d push back each time. “Besides, he’s coming over this weekend,” you’d add and make a note to text him so that he doesn’t end up in some New York bar with Tito, Elise and other people when he should be in Baltimore instead. 
It was selfish and restricting, and you’d apologise for it but each time, Mat would brush it off without fail. 
It’s fine, he’d assure through text. I wanted an excuse to spend the weekend in, anyway.
“I’m sure he was exaggerating most of the time,” you tell Elise dismissively, carefully sliding your hand from hers as you lean back in the plush seat and pull the blanket a little tighter around your shoulders. 
You try not to look at Elise because you know the expression she wears: it’s serious; the type of look that she puts on whenever you try to make light of a serious situation, practically reading don’t lie to yourself and mostly importantly, don’t try and bamboozle me. It never works. Not with her. 
“Y/N.” Your name falls from her mouth sharply and you can’t help but direct your gaze back to her. “I don’t know Mat like you do, maybe not even as well as Tito does, but you’d think he was going through heartbreak when you left. Moping, I can put up with and distract from so believe me when I say that wasn’t what he was doing. You’ve seen his games, right? You saw how it even affected him on ice.”
You bite on your back teeth, jaw squaring. As much as you wanted to keep yourself away from anything to do with Mat, you couldn’t help but switch back to his games whenever they were on, doing some childish back and forth between channels. Mat did play differently. Still giving it his best, but aggressively; sometimes, he even fell for whatever bait the opposing team would throw at him in the form of chirps and you didn’t need to be a lip-reading expert to know he’d always respond. Once or twice, he landed himself in the penalty box for minor misconducts that seemed so out of character for him. 
“It’s fine now,” you say, in hopes of leading out of this subject. “I’m back in New York for a while, so it’s fine now.”
“Is it?” She asks, and you know this isn’t just because of what she saw of Mat without you. She questions it because she’s also seen you without Mat. “Was there… Uh. Was there more to it?” She cringes a little, and quickly tries to dismiss herself with a wave of her hand. “Don’t feel obliged to tell me if you don’t want to. It does seem like you guys are fine, but… You know I’m here for you, right?” 
You force a smile and nod quickly.
The first few weeks in Baltimore gave you a good taste of what your own personal little hell was like. You didn’t have Elise, you didn’t have Rachel, you had none of your closest friends and it felt like a lot of the after-work drinks you’d go on with your new colleagues were mostly out of your own desperation to stretch the day longer, essentially avoiding returning to an empty place. Generally, you adapt well to situations and people, but you were effectively trying to build afresh from the ground up and on bad days, the really awful ones when loneliness and heartache reared their ugliest faces towards you, there was no one for you to pour your most honest feelings out to. Several times, you wanted to reach out to Elise and come clean but it wouldn’t be fair. She was in the full swing of preparing for her wedding and the last thing you wanted to do is go crying to her. 
Of course, there was no Mat either. There was no Mat because there was no such thing as breaks in a relationship so you gave him the thing you were certain he tried to avoid voicing, but definitely referred to: a break-up. 
“No, nothing else to it than that,” you assure her, breaking your own train of thought while simultaneously giving yourself a mental pat on the back for the ease with which you weaved your story. “I mean, it’s been a bit weird to be apart over the period, especially since we didn’t know what’s to come, work-wise, but we’re fine now.”
“You two know best what’s good for the both of you and your relationship,” Elise says, “but take it from me: get away together if you can. It’s not easy, you know. Doing your own thing while he does his, progressing in what you’re both best at but sometimes, it gets to you. The distance, the days gone by with them on the road, the worry that maybe, just maybe, they’ll come back and they won’t be the same. I had that worry also once too, you know.”
The admission takes you by surprise. Elise laughs quietly at the sight of your slightly widened eyes because you haven’t heard this before. Sure, she told you of missing Tito while the Islanders were off to away games but she never truly admitted the thoughts coursing through her mind. 
“He never once gave me reasons to doubt him, but at the back of my mind, I’d be so worried. You know how the stereotype surrounding athletes goes.” She rolls her eyes, and you know exactly what she’s referring to. “Tito’s handsome and young and his face is on TV, but the fact that a man is taken hasn’t exactly stopped people before. I can’t tell you how many times I waited—no. Expected him to come back and be different, then tell me it’s over. Seriously, I lost track. One day, he called me out on it though.” She takes a break to sip from her drink and look out towards the golf course and you do too. It’s probably not long now before their game will be over. “He’d just gotten back the night before and to me, he seemed a little weird. Looking back on it, he was just exhausted. They didn’t have their best performance, but I didn’t even think of that. In my head, I already had this entire scenario planned that that was it.
“In the morning, I snapped at him. I wish I could just forget it now because it’s so embarrassing but I did it, and there’s no brushing that under the carpet. I was like, you were different last night and you were different through text. I told him he was acting different and when he asked what I meant, I said, you’re seeing someone else, aren’t you?” She physically cringes at the memory and in your chest, your heart races. It’s almost identical to your own anxieties during those final moments of your relationship with Mat, and it seems as if you’re merely listening to someone recite your story back to you rather than their own. “Didn’t think of the games, didn’t think he might be down and distant because he blamed himself for some of the missed shots. Instead, I let my own insecurities get the best of me. I overlooked all we’ve done together so far, overlooked the simple fact that I had nothing to back up my accusation and instead, I took it out on him.”
“Elise… what the— you never mentioned this. When did all of this happen?” 
“Two years ago now, probably. We joke about it every now and then, but I couldn’t imagine telling anyone what happened. I felt so stupid after we dealt with it.” She sighs, shaking her head incredulously at the situation. “What we really needed was some time away. We left as soon as the season ended, renting out a little place outside of Montreal and we talked, Y/N. Not casual, day-to-day things, but he asked me where I see us going. I told him honestly, I don’t know and he said it’s not good enough and not fair for our relationship and us, individually. He’s the one who brought up marrying, after the dust settled.” 
The brief silence that falls between the two of you leaves your head buzzing with questions, with possibilities, with recollections of you-and-Mat but also of you and Mat during what would be your last moments together. There is a continuous string of what ifs rolling through your mind at such rapid speed that they blend in together until you can’t tell one statement apart from the next. You free a hand from the confines of the blanket, bringing it up to rub lightly at the side of your head while Elise stares off in the distance, a pensive look on her face. There are things she’ll tell you and others, and then there are things she will keep private for herself and Tito only, and you respect that. Still, you find the need of actually biting down onto your tongue to ask How?
How did you make it work? How did you talk with each other? How did you prevent a train wreck? How did you accept what happened, and got to this point? 
You blink and that’s when you realise tears built up in your eyes and when Elise focuses back to the present, you realise she is in a similar position. You both begin laughing, dabbing at your eyes.
“How did you manage to make each other cry?” 
The incredulity in Tito’s voice makes you and Elise burst into laughter again, louder and less tearful now.
While Elise assure Tito there’s nothing to worry about and dismisses the tears as being wedding related, Mat takes the seat next to yours on the small two-seater, throwing you a what happened look. You shake your head, rubbing lightly at your cheeks to brush away any remaining stray tears. 
“Wedding tears,” you confirm to him also because he doesn’t cease staring at you, and though it’s clear he’s not entirely convinced by that, it’s easy to let it slide. “Did you win?” 
Mat shakes his head and reaches for the water glass nearest to him. You don’t bother telling him it’s yours and figure it might come across as weird to the couple across from you anyway. “I let him win to give him a boost of confidence,” Mat tells you and snickers when Tito complains that it isn’t true.
Dismissing Tito’s effort at trying to shut that down, you hum quietly. “That sounds fair to me,” you tell Mat and then, to Tito, “did he let you win properly?”
Tito rolls his eyes while Elise lets out an ‘aww’ in consolation, and leans over to peck his cheek. “He put up a decent fight, I suppose. It’s been a while since he had this much energy, but he’s never been the best at golf.”
“He’s not the worst either,” you defend because you’ve always done that and it comes to you reflexively. You feel Mat’s eyes on you, but you keep yours carefully trained on the couple ahead. 
“You say that because you’re supposed to,” Elise argues and she leans comfortably against Tito’s side. He wraps an arm around her shoulders, pulls her closer to kiss the top of her head and when he looks back towards you, he grins proudly. 
You huff, then shift in your seat to look at Mat properly. “If I was bad at something, would you say I didn’t because you’re supposed to?” You ask, in an attempt to prove your point, and pitch your voice just a little to imitate Elise’s. 
“Are you bad at something?” He pitches his question like a rhetorical one and across from you, Tito and Elise coo over the response that sends a wave of heat through your body. 
You narrow your eyes at him, bumping your knee against his own. “I absolutely cannot stop properly on skates.”
“Oh.” Mat sighs, takes a sip of water and his shoulders slump. “Yeah, I forgot about that. Don’t tell me you still—“ You quickly knock your knee against his again, a silent warning which you doubt is the most subtle of ones, but Mat changes course smoothly. “After all those hours we spent on ice…” He shakes his head slowly in disappointment, but it’s not like you blame him or take it personally.
You lost track of how often Mat would carefully instruct you through making proper stops on ice, only for you to still end up relying on crashing against the barriers. Although you’d laugh at it time and time again, Mat would always freak out over it, flooding you with endless are you okay questions out of sheer fear you’d end up hurt.
“Sorry we can’t all be pros,” you mumble, eyes rolling but there’s no heat behind this: it’s lighthearted bickering, a conversation that flows easily and you let it go by like this, without overthinking it out of sheer fear you’ll end up spoiling it. 
You all fall into discussions revolving around the wedding, mostly focusing on the events leading up to it. It takes you back to months ago when evenings like these were almost regular. You, Mat, Elise and Tito would hang out either at each other’s places or somewhere out in town and you’d talk until one of you would realise it was the early hours of the morning. 
It’s easy to get swept back into the comforting feeling that brings you. So much so, that you don’t really think much of it when you open up your blanket and hold a half of it out to Mat, who accepts it wordlessly and settles in closer to you. Arm pressed again arm, leg pressed against leg, you can’t find it in you to pour energy into making a conscious effort of shifting in such way that you place some distance between the two of you without it being odd. You’re convinced neither Elise nor Tito are acutely aware of every minor shift in your body language or tone, but a part of you remains worried about it. So, you stay in your place and enjoy the extra bit of warmth Mat’s body next to yours provides and pretend what the two of you are doing is perfectly okay. 
*
“I can’t do it,” you sigh, unable to keep the frustration out of your voice as you glare down at your skates. 
“I couldn’t do it in one day either, baby, we just need to keep practicing,” Mat encourages you gently and he takes hold of your hands as he begins skating backwards, dragging you forwards. 
You throw your head back in frustration, occasionally giving yourself a bit of a push to keep up with him. “It’s not so bad though, using the barriers to stop.” 
Mat fixes you with a pointed stare. “Remember that time when you just zoomed across the entire rink and ended up—“
“No, no—“
“—with the worst bruise—“
“— we don’t talk—“
“— across your ribs—“
“— about it!”
“— because you crashed into the barriers?” Mat continues, letting go of your hands to skate backwards a little further. “Because I do, and I promised myself and you that it won’t happen again. It’s for your safety above anything else.”
You groan quietly, pushing forward to catch up to him. Mat stretches out his arms, letting you bump against his body once you reach him and you bury your head against his chest while you both come to a stop in the middle of the rink. You’re pretty certain that had you been on public ice, you would’ve had plenty of stares and disgruntled skaters passing by but to your luck, the ice at Nassau had an off-day from training so you and Mat were permitted to make the most of it. 
You and Mat often took to the ice and of course the level in skill was entirely different between the two of you, but you were grateful you knew enough to get by without making a fool of yourself in public. Then again, it’s not like you really had to worry about it much: Mat was always there by your side, even if you’d sometimes send him off to just enjoy it however he wanted to and you’d catch up to him eventually.
“I’m enjoying it,” he’d assure you without fail. “I’m with you, so I’m not missing out on anything.”
“You can be so unbelievably cheesy sometimes,” you’d tell him without heat because you loved it, and you were pretty sure he was well aware of it and considered it encouragement.
You pull away from him and he lets you go ahead while he trails behind you slowly. The silence between you is filled by the slashing of blades against the ice, the sound occasionally louder and echoing further whenever Mat pushes ahead with more force. You smile to yourself whenever you feel you can afford to draw some of your concentration away from your own skating to catch sight of Mat. Much to your displeasure though, a feeling of tightness forms in your chest and without thinking of it, you press a hand to your chest, rubbing against it lightly as if that might ease it but to no avail.
“What’s on your mind, baby?” Mat asks once he slows down and twirls on his skates so he skates backwards in order to face you. 
“What? Oh, nothing. I was only trying to picture how well you’d pull of figure skating.” 
Mat scrunches up his face a little. “Mh, not very well, I think, but nice try.” He reaches out for your hand and you let him take it so he leads you around the rink. “What’s on your mind really?” He insists. 
Bite the bullet, you think. Try it.
“Couple of work stuff, nothing that important,” you begin carefully and when Mat doesn’t respond, you press on. “Turns out our branch in Baltimore is looking to expand a little more. There’s been a consultation completed there and recommendations all point towards the potential for growth. There’s been a few talks in a few departments, including my own, about the possibility of uh, some people heading out there.”
Mat nods slowly, a contemplative look on his face. “Sounds pretty good for them, then. Do they have any idea who might be involved in that from your office?” 
“Not yet, and anyway, they’ll consult first with anyone who might consider relocating,” you inform him lightly, shrugging.
There’s no beating around the bush with Mat though. He reads you like an open book. “There’s no hockey teams there, huh?” 
You laugh softly, shaking your head. “Unfortunately, no.”
“And would you want to go there?” 
“Temporarily? I wouldn’t say no, honestly. I have a few ideas and I think they’d fit in great with a smaller but growing branch.”
Mat slows down carefully to not trip you or catch you by surprise and once you also come to a halt, he leans in to press a kiss to your forehead. “Give them just a taste of what you can do and they’ll want to keep you there.” 
“It’s rich of you to assume they wouldn’t go for someone in a more senior position than my own.”
“It’s rich of you to assume they’d skip out on you,” Mat parrots and you laugh softly. “It wouldn’t be so bad if you say so and it’s a temporary thing.” 
You ponder his words for a moment, humming quietly. You didn’t expect anything less from Mat: he’s always been supportive, ready to vouch for you and be the first to jump in your corner, but you can’t help but wonder if he’d stand by his words if you were to tell him there was more to it than that. Because a relocation wouldn’t mean a month or two. Maybe not even a half year. A relocation could very well be anywhere upwards of one year, but you don’t have the heart to tell him that just yet. Not when anything isn’t concrete, not when you’re hardly even sure this is a step you’d even want to consider.
You’ll cross that bridge if you get there. When you get there.
*
You roll on your back and huff quietly, throwing an arm over your forehead. The room is dark and you can barely just make out the metal shape of the spotlights dotting the ceiling, so you try focusing on one that gleams just a little more in the hopes that your eyes will start to feel heavy and finally, finally you can fall asleep. In your mind, you count to ten and when that doesn’t work, you count to twenty then try to thirty but stop at fourteen and sit up. You want to cry and the feeling of needing to do that overwhelms you, though that’s quickly replaced by frustration when even a single tear won’t blur your vision. It seemed like that came to you so easily throughout the day, but when you need it most in hopes of it exhausting you, it doesn’t happen. Naturally. 
Your gaze drifts towards the door which is just ever so slightly parted and in the silence of the night, you can make out the unmistakable creak of mattress springs shifting. It’s not a gentle movement though. It happens again just moments later and it’s as if your body responds to it without your mind consenting. Slowly, you tip-toe your way across the room and towards the door, thankful you don’t need to press down on the handle but rather, pull it ever so slightly so you can just see through the crack. 
The living room basks in darkness and the only clear light source comes from a digital clock on a mantle. The blue numbers indicate it’s just a little past one in the morning. The thicker curtains haven’t been pulled over the windows properly, so very low light from outside filters in, but barely just. Again, the mattress creaks and you shuffle sideways behind the door as if you’d be seen. There’s no chance of that happening whatsoever. Again, the creaking. Harsher now, more frustrated and you recognise your own routine over the past hour or so since you climbed in bed and called it a day. You lick your lips, eyes falling shut briefly and you barely just press your forehead to the cold door. Count backwards from five and on one, you pull open the door properly and step into the living room.
“Get in the bed, Mat.”
Silence. You rub at your forehead, a little irritated. 
“I know you’re not sleeping, so don’t try to pretend,” you tell him but your voice doesn’t quite pack the punch it should have. “That thing keeps squeaking and it’s keeping me up. Get in the bed, Mat.” 
“Just close the door if you can’t sleep,” he says. 
Huffing quietly, you step further in the living room and it takes a while for your eyes to get used to the darkness but soon enough, you can just make out Mat’s shape in the pull-out bed. He faces the windows, back towards you and you’ve no doubt the pull-out couch is sturdy and decently comfortable but you hate it. You hate the sight of it, you hate the idea of him in it, you hate everything about this. 
“Please, Mat. I…” you trail off, running both hands across your face before they drop to your sides with a noticeable smack sound. “I swear I’d still hearing the creaking through the walls. I can’t fall asleep with it, it’s driving me insane so please,” you plea, exhausted yet weirdly tuned into your emotions - and they’re all overwhelming. If you were wondering why you couldn’t cry just moments ago, it sure feels as if you’re standing right at the very edge of a breakdown right now. The timing couldn’t be worse. “Get in the bed, Mat,” you repeat once again, voice low and tired.
There’s a moment of stillness during which you stand there, feeling defeated and ashamed while Mat lies just ahead of you and you wonder what goes on through his mind. Not for the first time, you wish you had the power to hear it all regardless of how much worse it’d make you feel. And then, he moves. He sits up and there’s some shuffling of bedsheets, and moments later, he’s moving past you into the room with a pillow under his arm even if there’s plenty on the bed already. You allow yourself a brief second to draw in a silent breath of air then release it before following after him. This time, you circle around the bed frame because Mat settled on the right side. He always took the right side because that’s what you agreed on years ago.
You pull the bedsheets up to your nose and open your mouth ready to say something. But what more is there to say? 
“Do you ever think where it went wrong?” 
Mat’s question takes you by surprise and you swallow the lump in your throat uncomfortably. The it is more of a we, but it makes it feel just a little more impersonal though it doesn’t quite soften the blow it delivers. You wish you could curl into a ball, grasp the covers tightly around your body like a cocoon but you’re rooted to your place and the most you can do is grab at the sheets with your fingers tightly. If it wasn’t for the material, you’re convinced your nails would dig into your palms and leave half moons there that would hurt like a bitch. 
“I did,” you tell him, at last. 
“I do,” Mat admits without hesitating, without needing you to prompt him and you don’t miss the way he phrases it as if this is a thing he continues to do in the present. But his tone is calculated, detached and you can’t help but wonder whether that’s true or you’re about to let yourself get roped into a blame game you’ve already played before. 
You lost it, of course. But you try not to think about how bitter it felt. You think there might be something lodged in your throat, something that resembles an apology you owe him, but every time it feels as if you’ll let it slip past your mouth, invisible walls are built up and nothing gets past those. 
“I think I lost you somewhere along the way,” he continues because this is a thing that Mat does: he doesn’t let something slip past him so easily. Not always, anyway. “And I don’t think I did enough to meet you halfway.” A pause and you barely just shift under the blankets. Your arm brushes against soft cotton and belatedly, you realise that’s his spare pillow between the two of you. You really do hate everything about this. “I don’t think you did either,” he admits.
You have to give it to him: he has guts. And you really hate that you can’t bring yourself to let your own show, even in the dark. Especially in the dark, where your faces are hidden and your bodies are separated by a flimsy pillow and there’s a chance that you might both forget this in the morning or pass it off as a lucid dream. It’s a small chance, but existent nevertheless. 
“What good will it do us if we keep thinking about it?” You ask, but it’s directed more at yourself than it is to him.
Your mind betrays you by giving you the answer: it won’t change the past, but it may very well change the future. And your heart throbs rapidly at the thought and there’s heat in your belly and adrenaline in your veins, and there’s an explosion of what ifs coursing through your mind even if you know it’s too late. Because it must be, right?
“Let it go, Mat,” you tell him and shift under the covers, turning your back to him and curling up underneath the covers. “Go to sleep.”
He scoffs ever so quietly, but you pick up on the sound because there’s nothing else to distract you from it. “Right, sorry. I forgot you give up just like that now.”
You frown, glaring at the darkness ahead. “It’s not me giving up, Mat. It’s called me being rational about it.” You sigh, eyes closing and you press your fingers against them until you see stars behind them. “What are you hoping to get out of this?”
“Don’t know.” Mat sighs and the bed shifts. His voice sounds quieter and you wonder if he turned his back to you in return. “Maybe some proper closure, I guess. I wouldn’t call what happened then and what’s happening now a… what did you call it? A clean break?”
“And you want it now at like, what, one in the morning? Will that make you go to sleep?” 
“Dunno,” Mat murmurs and it’s obvious his voice is heavy with exhaustion. “Maybe.” 
You push down the memories threatening to squeeze their way at the forefront of your mind because you’d be at it all night without doubt. The silence lingers between you, undisrupted, and you manage to count to twenty five in your mind slowly before you carefully turn your head to look over your shoulder. Your heart jumps in your throat. Mat is on his side facing you and his eyes are closed. You can’t be certain that he managed to fall asleep but his breathing seems steady enough. Ever so carefully, you turn until you’re on your back again and cast your gaze upwards towards the ceiling. 
“I’d sleep, but probably not a great deal.”
Mat’s voice, silent as it is, catches you by surprise and you jolt ever so slightly. The movement doesn’t seem to disturb him though. He remains still as a statue and despite the darkness, you can’t find it in you to look towards him. It doesn’t mean your skin doesn’t tingle in that very odd way it does whenever someone looks at you. You close your eyes and throw an arm over them for extra measure. 
“Just go to sleep, Mat,” you whisper.
You blame not finding it in you to give him what he wants on the sudden exhaustion coursing through you, but there’s always tomorrow. If he insists on it, you can assure him there’s always tomorrow. 
But Mat doesn’t force the subject and soon enough, you feel your shoulder relaxing, your body settling against the mattress and a familiar lull pulls you away from consciousness. 
250 notes · View notes
violetsoju · 3 years ago
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overdrive
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iwaizumi hajime · fluff · 1.7k
summary: iwaizumi seriously needs to get work done, without his mind going into overdrive
a/n: the product of spending too many nights in the library because i can't get work done back in my room
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The reason why Iwaizumi doesn’t like studying in the library open space is because there’s too many people.
High school students hogging seats that are evidently not enough to cater for the university’s own students. Half-zombified students surviving on energy drinks sprawled on the table, escaping reality by taking a catnap. Students with earbuds stuck into their ears, tapping away on their phones or watching videos under the cool air-conditioning instead of the scorching heat outside. Or those who Iwaizumi wonders how they even got accepted into university because they’re clearly illiterate, making sure everyone around them knows what’s on their mind despite the big red ‘quiet please’ sign hanging on the wall next to them.
“It’s distracting.” he grumbles. “How am I supposed to focus with so many people roaming around, not to mention the background noise I didn’t ask for.” The endless flow of people rolling before his eyes has him rubbing his temples in distress.
“It just means that you’re not focused enough, Iwa.” Your eyes never leave the laptop before you, fingers swiftly tapping on your keyboard.
He shoots a glare to your direction. “Why don’t you try sitting in my position and see if you’ll say the same.”
A scoff sounds in the air. “As if it’s not the same on my end.”
Iwaizumi should be used to squeaking noises on the polished concrete surface, given the years of spending most of his youth living in the school gym. But the shuffles and squeaks behind him now has his jaw clenched tight, fingers coiled together.
“Admit it. You’re just distracted by me.”
Two pairs of eyes lock. One with a glint of tease and mischief, one with a glint of exasperation and fatigue.
“As if.” You smirk at his response, clicking your tongue knowingly as you trail your eyes back on the bright laptop screen.
As if you’re the reason why he’s distracted. What absolute nonsense.
But if you’re not, why did he reply so hastily, mouth working faster than his brain, as if he was trying to hide something? As if someone broke the passcode to his closely-guarded safe that safeguards his hidden stash of valuables and treasures?
Is that why he firmly insists on studying in the quiet area, all the way in the deep end of the library, where one is confined to a study pod each? No random humans lurking in sight, just a laptop screen, and three mounted walls enclosing the small yet breathable space. The cries of help from keyboards being murdered mercilessly by the rapid finger smashing filling the air.
A space where everyone has their minds shackled to the device before them, head swimming in overloaded information too much for poor brains. A space where the only distraction is the faint cries only audible to oneself screaming this is too much.
That’s the space Iwaizumi needs to be in. And that’s the only distraction he needs.
Or the only distraction he can afford to have.
Because the rest are definitely too much.
One, in particular, is definitely too much.
His eyes act on their own will, something he can’t hold rein of.
It captures every small detail of the figure seated opposite him. You, to be specific.
The way your brows furrow together in complete concentration. He’s sure that you’ll be the one having wrinkles earlier than him, despite your constant nagging of how he shouldn’t crumple up his face in disgust at the sight of couples making out on campus in broad daylight.
The way you heave out heavy, long sighs every half an hour, like a fire-breathing dragon spouting flames from its mouth. Not as scary as Godzilla though.
The way you rest your temple against your knuckles, gradually tilting sideways like the Leaning Tower of Pisa as your elbows slip further. It’s a miracle you don’t lose balance at that angle.
The way your hand travels downwards towards the side of your neck, knuckles planted behind your ears to keep the weight of your head in place. Sometimes they’re curled together in a straight neat line. Sometimes they trek little lower, tucked under your jaw near to your ear. Sometimes just a finger is all you need to support the mass above your shoulders. Iwaizumi has honestly lost count of the number of poses you can make, which he has to admit, are better than those watch or jewellery models plastered on glossy magazine pages.
When your fingers wrap the side of your neck, or when your fingers splay across your neck and collarbone, he wonders if he can cradle your neck with his hand like a snug pillow. He knows how small your hands are compared to his large ones, how soft your palms are compared to his calloused ones, worn from years of practice. He wonders how it’ll feel against your smooth bare skin.
He wonders if he has his fingers wrapped around the nape of your neck, closing the gap by pulling you towards his chest to feel your heartbeat thumping against his, would your breath hitch, shudder under his touch from the sparks ignited from the sudden difference in skin texture, or would you melt into his touch, into the warmth of his palm that’s just a quarter of the fire in his burning heart that’s set ablaze by you?
When you part your lips to apply lip balm onto your dried lips caused by the low humidity, he wonders which lip balm you’re using today. Is it the normal original one? The peach flavoured one? Or the manuka honey one?
He licks his own dehydrated lips although he knows it would make it worse. When you smack your lips to even out the wax-like substance, he wonders how it feels like, how it tastes like. Does it really taste like peaches? Or like sweet honey dripping from your eyes at the sight of food?
He could find out by reaching out his hand to borrow it from you. But he wonders how it would feel like from your lips, how it would taste directly from your lips.
It’s a childish thought, but using a lip balm that has touched your lips on his is like an indirect kiss. High-school Iwaizumi would be a blushing mess at the thought. But Iwaizumi is all grown up now. If he were to want a kiss, he would want a direct kiss. Lips on lips. Flesh on flesh. Nothing in between.
But he remembers that his lips are slightly dry and chapped, which would be such a turnoff to mould it with your moist plump ones. But what better way to moisturise one’s lips with another?
When you tap your lips, deep in thought – as if taunting his previous thoughts – he wonders if he’s ever met anyone who does that instead of tapping their chin. And when you jab your thumb on your lower lip, knuckles brushing your upper lip, he wonders how your lips feel like. He has wiped away food stains from the side of your lips numerous times, but it was always the napkins that had the honour of gracing your skin. Are they as soft and plush as they seem?
Are they as dreamy and kissable as they seem?
He wants to find out for himself, to feel for himself. He wants to trace the curves of your lips with his fingertips, to feel each line carved on your lips, to memorise each slope and dip of your lips. If he can’t use his sense of taste to recognise your lips, at least he’ll know it’s you with his sense of touch.
Oh, just when he thinks that you look good in a certain lipstick colour, you prove him otherwise when you appear with a different shade the next day. It’s funny how all the shades of red and coral displayed look disturbingly identical in the shops you drag him into, but he can tell at first sight that they’re a different shade when it’s on your lips. He always finds it amazing how you blend different tones together to make your already desirable lips more alluring. It isn’t the colour that brings out the extra shine in you; it’s you who brings the pop of colour alive.
And he wonders how that pop of colour would look like on his bronze skin tone.
When you run your fingers through your hair in frustration, he wonders how it’ll feel like if those were his fingers. He’d run through them gently, soothing them out affectionately. He’d comb through each strand of hair with his fingers delicately.
He wonders how it’ll feel like with your fingers running through his hair, featherlike fingers caressing his scalp tenderly. It’s such a soft gesture that melts even the toughest of hearts. He wonders if you would tug his hair, if you would curl your fingers over his short cut. Would it be in playful manner? Or a desperate manner? Most importantly, when, why and where you would do that.
Let’s not get started on how your tongue peeks out the side of your mouth, running along your sharp yet cute fang teeth that could shred one into pieces. Or when you stick out your tongue teasingly at him when you catch him staring.
What’cha looking at? Eyes on the laptop, not me.
It’s a cute harmless gesture for you, but god knows how it’s a gesture drives his mind into overdrive. Something you're not ready to know about, yet.
There are too many wondering thoughts, thoughts deemed unnecessary and distracting when he’s with you. That’s why he insists on having a barrier wedged between the both of you, especially when he needs to get actual shit done. All he can see now is the crown of your head, and your sneakers beneath the table that are a few inches away from his. That’s all he needs and can handle on his plate right now.
Right now, there’s more important things to be done. Not that you’re not important. If you’re not important, you wouldn’t be driving him up the wall with such subtle movements and gestures.
Important things that require his attention right here, right now are things like the two thousand essay that’s due tomorrow. The e-mail from his professor regarding the group assignment progress that he has yet to reply. The mini army of tabs armed with journal articles waiting to be read.
Like any other day, Iwaizumi hopes and prays that his mind will cooperate with him to set gear into the right direction. If he could put off pouring his heart out for so many years, then these crazy yet valid thoughts could wait too.
He knows they’ll be worth the wait too.
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