#i needed to hear this today

[ostruka]

"[The mid-life crisis] is at that mid-point in our personal continuum when our delicate lives hang in the balance. We look behind us to see how far we've come and we realize that our past isn't a solitary trail through secret woods but a vista as big and as expansive as the ocean itself with our experiences stretching to the horizon like tiny dot-like sailboats sucked up in the enormous sea.

Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita / mi ritrovai per una selva oscura / ché la diritta via era smarrita."

3x13 Things become extinct

[guppyfish77]

Hello! I have come by to send a quick message as thanks! You do such fun and amazing art- they have such an amazing atmosphere that you manage to capture so clearly! It’s verrry impressive! You shading and shapes are so much fun to look at, and I don’t think I really have to words to explain it all. Bravo! I love it a lot! Thank you so much for working so hard to share your stories!

(*ˊᗜˋ*)/ᵗᑋᵃᐢᵏ ᵞᵒᵘ*

You're very welcome and Thank you so much for the kind words! I shall continue to strive to create to the best I can for you all! o7

[jolly-yet-arbitrary-cowboy]

shout out to men who have experienced any kind of sexual trauma, no matter how "insignificant" it may seem

you are valid. i don't care if it was a "joke" what they did, whether it was a friend, or a loved one, or an animal. under no circumstances does your trauma become invalid

[telemna-hyelle]

We follow you because we love ya Tellie, you and all your amazing AUs and fics and things <3

Thanks peg *tries not to cry* 💖💖💖

[crepuscularpete]

[chaosandthe-deadblog]

<3

[aquagirl1978]

Dropping by to send some moots and favorite blogs some love! Hope this ask finds you well, please never stop being your lovely self, and thank you for all the content you share with us. We appreciate you dearly! Please take care and have a yourself wonderful week ahead ☺️❤️

[emyn-arnens]

I really need to read more of your fics because your writing is beautiful! It's just so emotive and so easy to visualise and it's just so well written and crafted, you really feel like you're reading a work of art.

I'm clutching this ask to my heart 💕💕 Thank you so much, anon!! I can't tell you how much it means to hear that 🩷🩷🩷

[tukromtukrom]

I don't know if anyone needs to hear this but

You are not dumb for loving someone. Never. Even if that someone does not love you back or if that someone just plays with you. You are not dumb, it just means that you are a sensitive person, with a soul and heart.

If you honestly and wholeheartedly love someone and that person just plays with you that tells more about that person than about you.

You are not dumb for loving. But you can't let anyone play with your heart, you have to take it back, and you have to cherish it, for seeing the good in others, for being able to stay warm in this world. Cherish it because it still beats, because there is still life in you.

[kinkykinard]

[butchfemmes]

[thelunarsystemwrites]

your arts adorable!!! I love styles like yours sooo much, wish you the best in your journey!! /gen /pos

Ahhh thank you!! I finally found a style I like, and I'm practicing daily!

Remember to drink water, eat food, get rest!! <33 /Vpos/Gen!

[adrift-in-thyme]

*clears throat*

OH MY GOODNESS I LOVE ALL OF YOUR WORKS THEY’RE AMAZING AND I LOOK FORWARD TO THEM EVERYDAY.

…that is all…

THANK YOU SO MUCH <3333

[behind-herglasses]

Let us keep courage and try to be patient and gentle - Vincent Van Gogh

One of my favourite quotes by Van Gogh that I hadn’t seen or thought of in a while. It reappeared for me today and it just felt like it was meant for me, for the very specific things that are happening in my life, and that it came to me as some sort of message that I needed to hear. So I’m reposting it now, hoping it finds you if you, too, needed to see it today.

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.