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buckyhoney-library · 4 years ago

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worst behavior, b.b

A/N: Surprise, i released it earlier than expected! I just- i hope you enjoy, bc this is probably the filthiest thing i've written- i also changed the plot a little bit!

Request: hiiii could i request a one-shot where professor!bucky sees you eyeing his metal arm bc he pushed his sleeves up one hot day and proceeds to keep you after class to do smth abt it? you can make it as kinky as you like, maybe some degrading and breeding if you’re comfortable w that! ugh i’m a whore for professor!bucky

reblogs & likes are greatly appreciated & highly encouraged

Warnings: 18+, professor!bucky, dom!bucky, age gap (f early 20's), degrading kink, public masturbation, oral (m&f), fingering, spanking, light choking, unprotected sex, orgasm denial, sorry for any missed typos!

Word Count: 4.6k, you already know i get carried away with bucky

You shuffle through the hallways of the historic building. The walls are decorated with paintings and engravings. Students walking in various directions making the hallway crowded and hard to get through. Every now and then, students would stop to talk to friends or professors. This halts the moving traffic, causing jams and irritated groans from other students. The satisfaction sets in when you glance down at the time and notice it’s nine fifty-seven. In three minutes, you’ll be officially late to class.

The other classes you take bore you- making it hard to stay focused. They are the generic first-year classes that everybody dreads. You always end up doodling or drifting in and out of sleep throughout the period- but this class? This is the only class that excites you.

World History with Professor Barnes.

You wake up extra early in the morning to get ready for his class. You put a little more effort into your appearance than the other classes. The thought of the professors and students seeing you in sweats and hoodie didn’t bother you. Professor Barnes’s class on the other hand- you made sure you looked put together. His lecture has you wanting to wear the shortest sundresses with little to nothing underneath them.

Being late to Professor Barnes’s class is frowned upon and requires immediate attention when it becomes excessive. The immediate attention was an after-hours meeting with Professor Barnes to discuss what could possibly be more important than his lecture.

The first time you showed up late, happened to be the first day of class. When you rushed into the lecture hall, your heart nearly stopped by the man in front of you. Brunette hair’s swept back, piercing blue eyes, and a button-up that looked a size too small- showing off his bulging biceps. The fitted navy-blue button-up was rolled up to his elbows and a few buttons were undone. His biceps on full display through the material- showing off the vibranium. You swallowed hard as he began to scold you in front of the entire hall.

“I do not tolerate tardiness. Enough tardies require a private meeting after hours.” His light blue eyes never broke contact with yours, darkening with lust the longer he looks at you- taking you all in.

It was almost as if he was telling you to be late. There is a faint heartbeat between your legs, you cross them in fear he could hear the throbbing from where he stands. You began to daydream about the warm metal wrapped around your throat, while his other fingers were buried inside you. Or the prints that would be left against the flesh of your ass. You nod slowly with the most innocent eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Professor Barnes. I had gotten lost. It will never happen again.” You say innocently, playing up the role- even going as far as pouting your lips.

Bucky’s cock twitched at the sight of your puffed-out lips. Begging to be made an example out of you in front of the class. You smile back at him, patiently waiting to be excused to your seat.

“Make sure it doesn’t happen again, Ms?”

“Y/L/N.” You purr.

“You may find a seat Ms. Y/L/N.”

He looks are you properly, eyeing you up and down. His eyes fixated on your hips, swaying side to side as you walk up the steps, your skirt flapping up behind you- teasing him. Bucky knew you were going to be trouble this semester- and trouble is exactly what you had been for the last month.

You did everything in your power to get him to keep you after class. Bucky is getting more and more fed up with you- acting so innocent. He knew damn well that you want nothing more than to have your pretty little mouth stuffed with his cock- gagging and gasping for breath.

He hates that you are pretending like you had no idea the amount of frustration you are causing him. The amount of self-control Bucky exhibits is astounding. Especially on the days, you come in wearing close to nothing- claiming it was ‘just too hot outside’ or when you sit in the front row with a lollipop in your mouth, exaggerating the moans as you suck the red hard candy.

You straighten out the wrinkles out of the floral baby blue sundress, before turning the knob on the door.

“Ms. Y/L/N. You’re late- again.” Professor Barnes states sternly, not bothering to look at you.

Bucky caught a glimpse out of the side of his eye- you were wearing his favorite dress and knew he couldn’t look at you in the eye without taking you right there.

This is Bucky’s favorite dress. He loves the way it holds your breasts higher and how it hangs over the curve of your ass so nicely.

How much prettier would the dress look across his lap.

Bucky can’t take his eyes off of you when you walk and the dress flows with every step- sometimes a little too much. This grants him a sneak peek of your favorite lacey white panties- or sometimes the lack thereof. He stiffens at the sight of the fabric covering your pretty little cunt, taunting him.

For the past month, all Bucky could think about is that cunt. How tight you’d be around him- hearing you whimper and whine when he finally enters you, stretching you out to fit perfectly. He wonders if you could take him all at once or if he needs to warm you up with his fingers- but the thing he thought about the most: how sweet you must taste. The question alone could get him off.

How desperately he wants a taste of you.

“Mr. Barnes I am sorry-“ You begin to play into your act before he cut you off,

“Find your seat.” He still not bothering to look at you.

Disappointment floods your face from the lack of attention. In an effort for payback, you sit in the first row already pouting. He began the lecture by discussing the homework he had assigned the night before. You reach into your bag, pulling out the folder.

Expecting you to be in your usual spot in the back of the lecture hall, Bucky clenches his jaw at the sight of you sitting with your legs crossed shut in the front row, with your elbows on the small desk and hands cupping your face in boredom. His cock began to stir. Your breasts press together against the thin fabric- that is working extra hard to keep your breasts from being on display for everyone.

You see the frustration written on his face the moment he finally looks at you. You smirk at the successful payback.

The class goes on, but the material bores you. You begin to stare at Professor Barnes. You could hear the small adjustments from the vibranium as he moves about the lecture hall. Your breath hitches when he rolls his sleeves up. His biceps bulging against the fabric, a faint throbbing begins between your legs. You bite the inside of your cheek holding back a whimper. You squirm in your seat, uncrossing your legs to press them together to relieve some pressure.

The sinful thought begins to overtake your mind, only making the throbbing worse by the added arousal pooling against the lace. Checking each side of you, you look to see if there are any other students close enough to you that were about to witness this risky act. There are students staggered behind you, but only a couple dare to sit in the first rows. They are intently listening to their professor- who has his attention on the chalkboard.

You swallow a lump, attempting to steady your breathing. You slip your hand below the desk, resting it on your upper thigh. With one more quick scan of the room, you slip your hand underneath your dress.

You inhale sharply at the contact with your aching cunt. The slow circles you draw over your lacey panties release a wave of pleasure. Your lips part and your eyes flutter. The idea of someone catching you- the idea of him catching you? Made the arousal seep through the material getting on your fingers. You close your eyes dreaming about how Bucky’s fingers would dip between your folds, collecting the arousal and forcing you to taste yourself. You could imagine the pornographic scene play out in your mind, the heavy panting and degrading remarks- your fingers slip inside the thin fragile material. The satisfaction of making direct contact with the bundle of nerves makes it almost impossible to bit back any moans. Instead, you let out silent breaths.

Your imagination continues with his fingers going back between the folds, teasing the entrance- making you whine. Bucky’s other hand groping your breasts harshly. The focus is solely on the clit that throws you hurtling toward your orgasm. You brace yourself for the pleasurable release.

Bucky turns around to flip the page of the textbook when he sees it- sees your legs parted with your middle and ring finger rubbing circles over your clit. He holds his breath, not believing the whore in front of him. Your pants becoming faster and heavier. The pleasure begins to boil over, sending you over the edge. You remove your fingers covering your mouth to muffle the whimpers.

When you come down enough to open your eyes, your heart drops to the bottom of your stomach. Red flushing your cheeks and your chest tightens- you have been caught. His jaw hung open in disbelief at what he just witnessed. This is the final straw, touching yourself in class? Cumming in class- in front of him. There is no hiding the growing bulge in his pants.

Bucky slams shut the textbook, The other students sit in confusion at the sudden outburst from their Professor.

“Make sure you read the rest of the chapter. Class dismissed.” He almost growls.

Bucky takes cover at his desk, covering any evidence of an erection. He pulls a random stack of papers to distract himself from the bulge in his pants.

You hurry to pack away your things- you know that you are in a world of trouble and wish to leave the room as fast as possible.

You pull the bag over your shoulder and head straight for the door, not making eye contact with anyone.

“Ms. Y/L/N. Stay.” His voice booming in the near-empty room.

You freeze in your tracks, holding your breath. You turn around to face the furious man seated behind the desk. The one man that now held all the power to expel you. You feel small and weak the closer you get to his desk. He waits till the last student leaves the room.

“Yes, Professor Barnes?” Anxiety begins to stir in the pit of your stomach.

“We need to discuss your behavior. Follow me.” The demand making you shiver.

Your legs wobble as you follow him to the room just off the lecture hall. It is his office. It is bigger than you have imagined it. The smell of oak and cigars filling your lungs the moment you enter. His dark mahogany desk is the focal point of the room. The walls are decorated with artwork he had collected over the years. The dark brown curtains are pulled shut. The only light source being the two standing lamps on reside on each side of his bookshelf. Knick-knacks covering the surfaces of the shelves and desk.

“Sit.” His voice is stern laced with lust.

The restricting fabric of the briefs and pants makes the bulge painful. You sit in the chair in front of his desk with your ankles crossed and hands in your lap.

“First, you’re late to my class.” He is stalks around you- like your prey. His arms crossed tightly against his chest.

“Then, you wear this provocative dress.” Bucky’s fingers glide up your arm, grazing over the thin strap on your shoulder. His touch burning your skin.

“Then, you proceed to touch yourself in the middle of my lecture- cumming all over yourself like a disgusting little whore.” His words starting up the throbbing.

Bucky leans against the edge of the desk and your eyes are fixated on your lap- not daring to make eye contact.

“I have every right to expel you,” You inhale preparing yourself.

“-but I’m not going to.” Your eyes shoot up meeting his.

They’re filled to the brim with lust and desire. You gain a boost of confidence soars through you with the knowledge that you aren’t getting expelled.

He tilts your chin up to him, getting a better look at you. Using your chin to turn your face to each side- examining the mouth that will soon be full of him.

Bucky runs his thumb over your bottom lip, pulling at it- parting your lips. You push your head forward, taking his thumb in your mouth- closing your lips around him. You hum, innocently locking eyes with him.

You had no idea what you just started.

A devilish grin tugs on the corners of his mouth at the sight of you taking his thumb. You hallow your cheeks, sucking gently.

“What a good little slut.” He purrs. Bucky removes his thumb and stands.

“But, you’re not getting off that easily. Come.”

You stand to your feet moving to stand in front of him. The throbbing increases between your thighs and the arousal seeping through your panties. Bucky looks down at you touching your shoulder and neck. He finally rests his hand on your cheek, rubbing the flesh gently. You swallow, tensing and untensing your jaw. Bucky sense your nerves,

“It’s okay, princess- you’ll only be a little sore.” Your heart skips a beat.

Your panties are now drenched in your wetness and you swear he could hear the throbbing. You dreamt for this day. He pulls your lips to his. Finally meeting yours. It is slow and passionate; you didn’t know if you could touch him- but he has his hands holding the sides of your face.

“On your knees.” His voice is low and dark.

You drop to your knees. You’re now eye to eye with his bulge. The hardened cock makes your mouth water. You lick your lips, looking at him before you reach for his belt. He nods granting you permission. The belt is undone along with the button of his dress pants. Your slow movements have Bucky in a trance. His eyes don’t leave you.

You tug the pants down, his length still trapped behind the black briefs. You feel his length and hear a low groan escapes his mouth. You place small pecks on top of the clothed member. You are salivating with every kiss, growing more eager. The underwear is pulled down, freeing the aggravated cock. It’s red and looks like it is going to burst within seconds. The girth and length surprises you and you begin to wonder if you can even fit him inside you- let alone your mouth. Nerves build within you and hesitantly look up at Professor Bucky.

“I don’t know if it will fit,” Your voice is quiet, he chuckles and lifts your chin once more.

“Make it fit.” His voice is just above a whisper, but dark and stern.

At that moment you realize that this wasn’t going to be a quick punishment. He is going to make you wish you never wore short dresses, late to his class, or cum in front of him. Bucky licks his lips in awe of how beautiful you looked kneeling in front of him. All the fantasies are about to come true.

You take his length in your small hands; you use both hands to warm him up- slowly building him up. The strokes begin slow and sloppy. Your thumb going over his tip. It’s angry and swollen, it’s begging to be drained. You rub small circles around it- mimicking your movements from earlier. Bucky’s breathing becomes slow pants. The pleasure building with each stroke.

You mentally prepare yourself, collecting all the saliva you could to the front of your mouth. You flicker your eyes up, the grin that grows on his face as you close your lips around his tip encourages you. His fingers tangle in your hair, gripping the strands at the root.

“Yes, take my cock in your mouth you filthy slut.” You hum around him.

He begins to slowly push your head closer to his pelvis, forcing you to take more of him. You were only halfway down his shaft when you gripped his thighs for support. Your ankles are crossed behind you and you are leaning back sitting on your feet.

Bucky didn’t care about staying silent. His low grunts and heavy pants left his lips as he grips your hair. The pure bliss he is experiencing is unlike anyone he’s had before. Based on your performance, he knew that you have had experience before. The thought of other men in your mouth drove him insane. His grip on your hair guides your mouth up and down his cock. He became more aggressive with his grip, quickening his pace.

“I just know you’ve been dreaming about my cock filling your mouth, hm? You’re such a stupid slut- wanting to suck your professor’s cock,” He moans.

You’re gagging on his length, trying your hardest to keep from pulling off of him. You hallow your cheeks adding extra pleasure and using one hand to pump the length while he guides your head. The longer you’re taking him in your mouth the less air you’re getting, the veins in your neck become prominent. You dig your nails into his thigh. Bucky hisses at the feeling of your nails sinking into his skin.

“That’s right, princess. You feel so good around my cock,” He purrs watching the tears forming from in the corners of your eyes.

You can’t take anymore without feeling like you were going to choke. Bucky feels the resistance of you attempting to pull off of him. He pushes your head fully down his length, causing a pornographic moan to leave his lips. Bucky yanks the roots of your hair, ripping you off his length. You gasp for air and cough at the sudden ability to breathe. Saliva coats your lips and his thighs.

“You better finish what you started.” Bucky hisses,

You nod wiping your mouth. This time around, he has precum oozing from his tip. You gather it with your thumb and coat the rest of his length, using it as lubrication. You take him once more, this time using both hands and your mouth. The combo is enough to send Bucky into orbit, but when you start sucking his tip and swirling your tongue around it- he knew it would be a matter of seconds before he would release his load.

“You taste so good, Professor.” You hum against his tip, your movements become faster- not bothering with a slow build.

Bucky grips the edge of the desk, you hear the vibranium cracking through the wood. The sound only eggs you on. The sounds of your slurping and moans, cause Bucky to twitch inside your mouth- signaling he is gonna cum at any moment.

Within seconds your mouth is filled with strings of cum. Bucky’s hips buck as your mouth continues to suck him off. The taste of him has become addicting, you want every last drop of him. You pull off of him, wiping up the spilled cum on your chin. Sucking it off of your finger.

“Shit, princess. You did so well finishing every drop.” He pulls you up from your knees.

“-but that doesn’t mean you’re done. You still need to be punished for your behavior in class. Do you understand?” You nod.

Bucky walks behind his desk. You follow, nervous about what your punishment will be.

“You’ve been a bad girl, Y/N. Bend over.” You do as you say.

Your breast smush against the dark wood, your eyes fixated on the photographs of him with family and friends. You smirk to yourself and look back at him. Bucky’s fingers trail up the backs of your thighs. He lifts the pretty blue sundress, finally seeing that perfect ass up close. Bucky’s cock throbs again when he sees that the underwear you’re wearing the cheeky white lace. So innocent, he thought. Bucky runs his palm over the meaty flesh, gripping and jiggling it. He moans at its effortless movement.

“Fuck!” You yelp, his palm makes contact with your ass cheek.

“I told you, princess. You need to be punished. Count them.” Another rough smack.

“Two.” The tears returning to your eyes, but the pleasure overpowers the pain.

You arch your back, wiggling your ass higher in the air, this time, he is able to get a sneak peek of the covered cunt that lived in his mind.

“Three,” This time, your eyes roll back and you’re seeing stars.

Bucky takes notice of just how soaked you are. He pulls the lace with his metal fingers, tearing through them in an effortless tug. The strings of arousal follow the fabric as it is thrown to the ground.

“Oh? You like getting punished? You soaked through your panties. You really are a fucking whore.” He runs his middle finger down your center, your body twitches once he reaches your swollen and needy clit. Bucky kneels, coming face to face with the glistening beauty. His dream is coming to a reality, he is finally going to taste you.

His tongue dips between your folds, causing you to gasp at the unexpected pleasure. Your ass is still in the air and his hands are gripping your inner thigh, pulling them apart, allowing more access to your sopping cunt.

“Just like I imagined it, so fucking sweet.” He is breathless, the taste of you becomes his new favorite flavor.

Bucky’s tongue licks up the access arousal and his thumb rubs small circles around your clit, making you whine against his desk. His mouth begins to place open mouth kisses against you, his tongue dipping inside you. You need something to grip and release the pent-up pleasure but result to releasing through you moans and whines. It is music to Bucky’s ears.

He pulls away from your dripping cunt, kicking your legs open, spreading them- giving him the best access he could get. His mouth returns to you. But this time giving full attention to your clit.

“I’m too big for your hole, princes. I have to stretch you out.” You whine, as his middle and ring finger slide inside you.

You’re a whimpering mess on his desk as his mouth and fingers switched places. His fingers stretching you out and his mouth on your clit. Bucky moans into you at the feeling of your pussy pulsating against his fingers. You are in pure bliss as he pumps his fingers, occasionally curling- hitting the spongey flesh of your g-spot. He swirls his tongue around your clit, sucking on it and releasing it with a pop. You feel yourself hurdling towards your orgasm. The pulsating becomes quicker, and the moans are now endless streams. Bucky knew you’re close to cumming around his fingers, but you had already came today. He removes his fingers and mouth in one swoop, leaving you breathless and irritated.

“You already came today; only well-behaved whores get to cum.”

You stare back at him in anger. Your cheeks are flushed red and you’re panting like you just ran a marathon. He takes amusement at the sight of you looking like a mess.

“Professor, please! I’ve been a good girl!” You whine, wiggling your ass backwards.

“I’ll think about it. It depends on how well you take this cock, princess.” You nod your head, bracing yourself.

Bucky pumps himself a few times before he slides his tip against your cunt. You dreamed of the moment you would feel him inside you. Him sliding into you and filling you up. The need and desire overtaking you and bucking your hips into his cock.

“I said to be good.” A more aggressive smack lands on your ass, this time he used the vibranium. You yelp in pain, knowing there is going to be a handprint on your ass. Branding you.

You gasp at the sudden fullness.

“I was going to be gentle, since you are not used to a cock as big as me, but since you want to be an inpatient slut- now I’m not going too.” Bucky rams his cock into you, giving you no time to adjust to his size.

He grunts at the sound of your whines and whimpers. He grips your hips using it to increase his speed. The purple and red marks form, where his fingers dig into you. Bucky groans at how tight you feel around him. The resistance from your walls getting him closer and closer.

Bucky continues at his pace while, but this time gripping the back of your neck. He tugs you back, lifting you. Your hands palm down on the desk, using it as stability. One of his hands pins your hands behind your back. Bucky pulls you back, flushing your bodies together. His fingers wrap around your neck. Your head falls back against his shoulder moaning at the sensation of his fingers around your throat. Bucky’s rhythm doesn’t slow down now that you’re standing. Your legs are still wide allowing him to go deep and hard.

“You’re such a dirty fucking slut, you know that?” You couldn’t even think.

You have entered another world. Your hands are still pinned behind you and your eyes are rolling back from the feeling of his other. All you could do is moan and sink into his cock.

“Fucking yourself in front of the class and cumming all over yourself- you fucking loved the idea of getting caught huh? I bet you would love someone to walk through that door and catch me fucking your sweet cunt.”

His words only push you further into nirvana. Your legs begin to feel weak, and the responsibility of standing is becoming too much. Bucky notices the sudden inability to stand.

“You gonna cum, princess?” You are barely able to function. You moan in response and he thrusts quicken- if that is even possible.

“Cum, princess. Cum around my cock,”

You see stars as a wave of pleasure washes overtakes you and you feel pure ecstasy. Your cunt contracts around his cock, sending Bucky over the edge. His cock pulsating and shoot loads of cum inside you, filling you once more.

“Fuck!” He moans one last time.

He collapses on top of you. Your hands catching your bodies as you lay pressed against his desk once again. Bucky pulls himself out of you, leaking with cum. You whimper at the sudden loss of fullness.

Your legs felt weak and standing on your own seemed like an impossible task. You are trying to catch your breath. The high cooling off and you regain the ability to talk.

You push yourself up, feeling the cum run onto your inner thigh. Bucky grabs a handful of tissues, wiping away the cum. He helps you sit down on his chair. Your breathing finally slows and the adrenaline wears off. You begin to feel the aftermath of every mark and muscle. You groan as you try to move from the seat.

Bucky walks over to you handing you a bottle of water and switches places with you, so you are now on his lap.

“I told you would be a little sore,” He chuckles, placing a kiss on your temple.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes smut #professor!bucky #sebastian stan #sebastian stan smut #bucky barnes x female oc #bucky barnes fluff #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes blurb #bucky barnes headcanon #bucky barnes imagine

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apocalypticgargoyle · 4 years ago

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𝘽𝙇𝙊𝙊𝘿𝙔 𝙆𝙉𝙐𝘾𝙆𝙇𝙀𝙎 | 𝙠𝙖𝙧𝙡 𝙟𝙖𝙘𝙤𝙗𝙨 (18+)

∘ request(s):

“aaah your edgy karl is just *chefs kiss* so good!! could i get the reader patching up edgy karl after a particularly bad fight?”

“can we get something a bit softer for the edgy!karl series? Just love when guys like that are soft with the reader xx”

"ouu maybe for the next part of the edgy karl series reader makes it all about karl? like they end up sleeping in the same bed or smth and while karl is still sleepy/barely waking up reader just makes him feel good"

∘ pairing: edgy!Karl Jacobs x fm!reader

∘ warnings: nsfw (18+), mentions of blood, mentions of fighting, drug use (smoking weed), crude language, oral (m. receiving)

∘ word count: 2417

∘ links: AO3, prev. chapter

∘ a/n: THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REQUESTS FOR EDGY!KARL. YOUR IDEAS ARE HNNNNGGG SO GOOD JESUS CHRIST!

Also if you guys would like to make some of the edgy!Karl edits for the headers and submit them to me, I'll use them :D

This is a bit more dOmEsTiC than this series has been going but, hopefully you guys are still into it. Anyway, I hope everyone is having a good week! Happy reading :)

The air was crisp as the sun began to set; night slinking towards your apartment to envelop you and Karl within its darkness. The two of you watched intently as the ball of light crept towards the horizon line. Karl's arm threaded across your torso, fingertips brushing against the skin of your stomach peeking from beneath the hem of your shirt. You leaned your head against his embrace, wrapping your own arms around his as you sat between his legs. The sound of soft chatter from other floors beneath you filled the expanses between your apartment building and the one adjacent to it. As night fell, people cracked open their windows and hung their feet over the fire escapes.

You and Karl had been out prior to this, sharing a joint as you watched the stars roll in. Karl's back was pressed against the brick wall beneath your window, the blunt hanging loosely from his slender fingers as he bent his knee, giving you something else to curl your arms around. From across the way, someone began playing music, making someone in the apartment directly under the two of you to begin singing.

Karl took a drag off the blunt before letting the thick smoke pour from between his lips. "I think I need to teach you how to skate," he stated rather nonchalantly as he offered you the joint.

You scoffed at his remark, leaning your head back against his chest and taking the blunt from him. "I'd like to see you try," you shot back jokingly, fully knowing you didn't have the balance and he didn’t have the patience, yet something churned within you at the thought. You knew you shouldn't have thought anything of it really, but Karl sharing a portion of something he's passionate about with you was next to a love language.

Since spring break had begun, Karl had begun staying over at your place more frequently. During these nearly intimate moments where it had been only the two of you keeping each other company, you'd come to see Karl as more of a friend than just a booty call. Slowly peeling back the layers of his esoteric aura, you found out his quirks that you'd come to only associate with him, such as the brand of nail polish he trusted because it was a recommendation from a girl in his art class, or how when he was thinking about something deeper than a food order, he'd slick a hand through his hair to brush his bangs out of his eyes.

Yet this meeting was spurred by something else. He’d shown up on your doorstep with a black eye and bruised knuckles. You knew his housemates were beginning to trickle back to campus, so you figured almost instantly that Todd had figured out what the two of you had been up to when he was gone.

You pulled your front door open, tugging your hoodie closer to your body against the wind from outside. Karl stood before you, leaning a hand against your doorframe with a small smile plastered over his busted lip. There was a cut across his cheekbone as if whoever had hit him wore various rings. You gave into the impulses ringing in your body and reached up for his face, gently brushing a thumb against his jaw, which you could now tell was also beginning to bruise. One of his hands reached up to hold your wrist, his fingers grazed against your skin with such gentleness. The action was almost a juxtaposition to the way he looked.

Karl sat down on your toilet, his eyes watching each of your movements as you fished through your cabinet for your roommate’s first aid kit. He wasn’t acting like he had been dragged around instead, he seemed more excited to see you than anything. Maybe that was due to the fact that you fed him, and stray dogs always come back to food.

After clearing most of the dried blood from his wounds, you went about disinfecting and sealing him up. You stood between his legs, gently dabbing at the cut on his cheek, trying desperately not to think about how you were finally living out one of your fantasies. He leaned into your touch almost as if your skin held the elixir of life. You fought not to ask him what had happened because you knew he didn’t like talking about it, but you couldn’t help but worry about him a bit.

You hugged the arm he had around you tighter to your chest, your eyes fixating on an open window across the way from the two of you. There were two people having dinner in a room next to the window, a warm glow from the lamps inside spilling into the dimming night. "Did it get lonely in that big ass house?" You inquired, watching his fingers reach to throw out the dead bud. That hand moved to play with your own, threading his fingers in and out of yours. The bandage wrapped around the base of his fingers stiffened his movements, but he seemed not to pay any mind to it. “I mean, even though you spent most of your time over here…”

You felt him shrug against you. "I don't know." He was quiet for a minute as he thought. "I had the memories of what we did in—what did you call him? Todd?—Todd's bed, to keep me company," he quipped, making you snort. You leaned further back against him, enough to where your head was resting on his shoulder so you were looking up at the faint stars dotting the light-polluted sky. He rested his chin on your shoulder quietly.

As the night grew colder, the two of you climbed back through the window, the haze of the weed still stimulating your mood, yet you quickly found yourself falling asleep in Karl's arms as he tucked your plush comforter around the two of you. His breathy sigh cascaded over your shoulders as he dug his face into your hair. He'd discarded his hoodie before joining your side, so his skin was now warm and inviting as he pressed against you. You bit back a laugh as you silently wished his aftercare was as soft as moments like these.

A crack of thunder shook you from a dream, pulling you awake rather quickly. Your gaze lifted to peer at the clock on your nightstand as the rain seemed to hammer harder on the windows of your bedroom. Karl was sleeping peacefully beside you, arms lazily threaded through your pillows, unintentionally keeping your body closer to him. The bruising on his face somehow had gotten worse, but you were hoping there wasn’t any permanent damage. Maybe he’d have a scar like Johnny Cade?

You slipped into his arms, earning a content sigh from Karl as his hands pushed beneath your shirt to brush his coarse fingers against the soft skin of your back, dipping into the valley of your spine. You pressed your lips against his shoulder before traveling the length of his collarbone and ending at his neck. He hummed in pleasure, still groggy from sleep. You let your lips glide over his skin, before leaning up to kiss him softly. He pulled you closer to him, deepening the kiss with hints of passion despite the fact that he was still taking his time to wake up completely.

Your hands danced towards his sweatpants and you felt him smile against your lips. You pulled away from him slightly, digging your face into the crook of his neck. “Let me make you feel good,” you leered, earning a lazy chuckle from him, his fingers knotting into your hair. A clap of lightning flashed outside, the thunder following to sound as if the storm was sitting on your building’s roof.

Your fingers dipped beneath his waistband, palming him over his boxers slightly. A hushed moan of gratitude slipped past his lips as he softly bucked his hips against your hand while you applied more pressure. Karl sealed his lips against yours, the kiss sending heat throughout your body as his tongue pressed into your mouth, swirling with your own. A moan echoed through his body and into your mouth as he hardened against your hand, asking for more. One of his hands grazed the length of the arm that was working on him, his hand gently grasping your wrist.

You heeded his silent requests, moving your hand so you could straddle him. You ground your hips against him, the friction between your clothes making the fabrics seem thicker and more barrier-like than anything. One of his hands pressed against the small of your back, driving you harder against him. You broke the kiss breathlessly, sitting off of him and tugging your shirt over your head, his eyes grazed over you almost thankfully.

You pushed back the heavy covers, slinking down his legs until you were laying flat, tugging his boxers down in front of you. Your room flashed a bright white as the lightning from outside began to pick up. The sound of the rain's war against your windows was the only sound mixing with Karl's soft moan as your hand wrapped around the base of his cock. You pressed your lips against his tip, one of his hands moving to rest behind his head so he could see you better. Your fingers icked to please him, his body reacting to each of your movements.

He tensed under your grasp as you began to pump your hand, drawing out another soft moan from the man above you. "Does that feel good?" You taunted looking up at him through your eyelashes. He chuckled slightly, a dusting of pink settling into his cheeks. Your tongue slid along his length, basking in how his moans edged on being vulgar as you eased your mouth around his arousal. You bobbed your head once before pulling off of him, continuing to speed your hand motions gradually. His gaze was hazy as he attempted to avoid your sultry eye contact, him twitching at your movements each time he did.

His lips were redder as he chewed on the flesh of them, evident as he continued to fight each moan wanting to escape. You were slightly surprised at this, considering Karl was always shamelessly loud. Maybe it was because he was so vulnerable to you know, and you were in charge.

Your lips slowly traveled back to his arousal, his gray irises swimming with pleasure as you settled into to take him deeper into your mouth. His grip on your arm tightened as you pushed his tip past your lips once again, a strangled groan of pure pleasure hissing through his teeth. As he reached the back of your throat, tears began to brim in the corners of your eyes and his arousal twitched in your mouth. You began to bob your head once again, edging him on further with each of his moans of your name which you knew was a warning that he was close. You alternated the movements of your mouth and hand, making him fight against bucking his hips towards you. His cock tensed and in an instant, hot sticky strands of pleasure were filling your mouth.

He reached forward to brush his finger against your cheek, wiping away some tears that had pressed from your eyes. You pressed your lips against his thigh before crawling back up towards him. He tugged you on top of him again, lips kneading against yours as a silent appreciation. You push his hand back, threading your fingers with his own, careful not to squeeze against his bruised knuckles that you could tell were sore. You bit back a laugh at the thought of your poor broken boy.

As the rain picked up heavier, you sank down on his arousal, earning a deep moan from Karl. The feeling of him inside of you this early in the day was a new kind of bliss. You curled your hips against him before bending down to press your lips against his, his hand tightening around yours. You ground against him, pushing him deeper into you, looking to elicit more of his sultry noises that alone—you were convinced—could send you over the edge. Your mind was set on getting him to climax again. Your teeth brushed against his teeth before moving alongside his jaw, letting him catch his breath.

You pushed his shirt up as you sat back, fingers grazing down his chest as you moved, watching his eyes cloud with bliss to replace their morning hue. As you began to pick up your pace and use him as leverage, you held onto the forearm of his that was gripping onto you. He moaned a few curse words, his head dipping back in bliss, causing the veins in his neck to be more prominent. You moved the hand that was holding onto your waist up to your face. You slipped his index finger into your mouth and his lips parted, eyes fully focused on your actions as your tongue swirled around his fingers.

His attention burned into you, his jaw tensing with each of your tactics. His hand moved from your mouth to wrap around the back of your neck, bringing your lips back to his. As the coolness of his tongue ring grazed against your own tongue, your hips pressed against him harder. You swallowed his moans, feeling him twitch inside of you as you sped up, tightening around him. Thunder shook your tiny apartment again.

He cursed darkly, biting back another groan. In no time, you felt his heat come undone inside of you, pride swelling in your chest at how easy it was for you to get him off. Pleasure drenched his expression, gray irises blooming with bliss and contentment. He pressed his lips against yours briefly before you curled into bed beside him. The two of you sat in silence, listening to the rain.

Karl cleared his throat slightly. "If we do that enough times, do you think we'd get horny whenever there's a storm?"

You furrowed your brows. "What, like you want me to Pavlov you?"

"Yeah."

There was a beat of silence as you fought how to respond to his question. "It'd be interesting to be in your head for a day," you opted.

Tags:

@mrwinemaker @madsbbg @idiotinnit

#karl jacobs x you #karl jacobs smut #karl jacobs x reader #edgy!karl #edgy!karl jacobs #dsmp smut #college au karl jacobs #karl jacobs headcanons #karl jacobs imagine #karl jacobs x y/n

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honklore · 4 years ago

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hello! i just found ur blog and omfg i’m in love with your writing style! may i pls have some soulmate au hc’s for a reader who’s an artist? (i’m indecisive so you can choose who the hcs are with!) so like (insert cc u write for here) has got paint stains on his hands and like assorted sketches and stuff on his skin all the time from his soulmate. ty so much!! :]

masterpiece | quackity

(gn reader, quackity is the loml, reader is so talented but v messy, chat teases q to no end, quackity is the biggest softie in the world but refuses to acknowledge it, plantain slander)

listen to: rainbow connection (cover) by sleeping at last

sweet quackity :((

it starts when he’s eighteen, and it happens like almost immediately

he got these splotches of purple on his hands and his mom was like ?? are u getting into fights ?? are you okay???

and q rlly doesn’t mind aside from the weird questions when the colors are a little too close to red or purple

but!! nowadays mostly you just sketch w a pen

it’s during your classes usually,,, ur an art history major and you need something to occupy your hands (which is actually why you started drawing in the first place)

so during the day quackity will acquire lil sketches of famous paintings,,, or sometimes originals,,, but they’re always washed off before the day is done

sometimes random art facts/theories/studies but he has no idea why someone would write him about van gogh’s use of color

*cue u aggressively scrubbing your skin in the shower bc you always forget how permanent the ink is*

quackity is sort of... hesitant when it comes to writing on his skin. esp with streaming, he’s scared that fans will react badly ,, that negative thought keeps him at bay most days

but sometimes he writes lil notes on his legs,,, where chat won’t see anything ,,,, and they’re always either rlly sweet or rlly weird

(hope ur having a good day)

(hey bestie :P )

(soulmate my beloved)

(will u be the howie mandel to my dr. phil)

that last one made you genuinely worried for your future

badly drawn picture of a duck holding a briefcase (this is me)

which confuses you but as he draws more, you begin to associate him with ducks, and sometimes the duck wears a tie, and sometimes a beanie, and one time he had a giant blue axe which kind of concerned you

but you digress

when you get stressed u finger paint

and it’s just a way to create chaos and feel the cold paint on your skin like idk it’s relaxing yknow :)

quackity is streaming

and he doesn’t realize what’s happening. he’s reacting to attaway general,, and he’s kind of invested

it’s only when he pauses it to make a point that he notices

and he tries to hide it but chat notices right away

panicked!quackity

it’s not that he doesn’t trust chat he just knows things can get negative quickly and he wants his space to be free of that

but someone donates “artist q?”

and quackity lets the joke run

he stands up and pulls the mic super close to his mouth

“i’m in my artist arc chat! nihachu watch out >.>”

“CHAT WE’RE POPPIN OFF I AM A PAINTER NOW I PAINT”

it’s literally so silly bc q knows that chat knows but they’re letting him do his bit

and later that night he checks twitter and artist q is trending, but quackity’s soulmate is also trending

it’s all mostly supportive, and there’s already some rlly endearing fan art of quackity with paint all over his hands

quackity private tweet: ❤️❤️❤️

and he gets a lil confidence boost after that

answers questions abt u on his alt

tells the story of his mom thinking he was getting into fights

“guys paula is still my number one and my soulmate will just have to understand that”

“we already agreed we would both reject each other for taylor swift chat it’s fine”

answers donos and doodles on his hand

which he can do now bc chat knows!!!!

(you’re so talented your honor)

(have you ever seen attaway general?)

(charli d’amelio is in it)

(charli d’amelio is in it shit dixie sorry)

and you’re like !!! it’s on my hand !!!! it’s not hidden at all !!!

this image is so endearing to me like you’ve got paint stains all over your hands and quackity’s scrawl is filling in the empty spaces like he didn’t want to interrupt your work

duck with a beret, a mustache, and a paintbrush (this is me now)

ik he is going to share the most mundane things in a way of showing his love

(i listened to this song the other day)

(i bought a literal plantain today those things are big as shit)

(update: not good :/)

(i’m writing lore)

(i have an exam tomorrow)

just :(( sweet quackity wants u to know every little detail abt his life bc he wants u to know him

and you reply when u can

(added to my playlist!)

(i like plantain chips but i’ve never had the fruit alone)

(rip buddy :/)

(lore? like fnaf?)

quackity finds out you know extensive fnaf lore and the two of you stay up arguing about which is worse: the bite of ‘87 or the bite of ‘83

both of your legs look like newspapers that night and it takes a lot of scrubbing to get all of those off

one day you’re painting smth and quackity randomly gives you his discord

(add me and we can watch game theory together and see who is right)

the two of you end up watching it and getting in call with each other

when you hear his voice it’s like everything falls into place

he fills in all the empty spaces,,, answers all the questions you didn’t realize you had,,,, and he’s so wonderful that you find yourself missing him dearly whenever he’s not on call with you

you join him in calls on his streams sometimes like for jackbox or when he’s cooking

“CHAT MY SOULMATE IS A CHICA KINNIE”

you stop joining him on calls on his stream /s

but chat loves you and always takes ur side over q’s

you get tons of followers on your art account and you even get to sell some of your paintings!!

ur new favorite colors to use are blue and yellow i don’t make the rules

but everyone starts to catch on and they find it really sweet

you catch up on quackity lore solely for him and declare yourself a c!quackity apologist

you’ve definitely retweeted the meme that’s like “if villain bad why hot”

when u guys meet quackity kisses your forehead :((((

when you

a drawing of two ducks holding hands (this is us)

thank you for the kind words and for requesting !!!

#quackity au #quackity fluff #quackity x reader #dsmp fluff #dsmp au #dsmp x reader #mcyt au #mcyt fluff #mcyt x reader

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nightchild000 · 4 months ago

Text

by popular demand i’m doing this >:3

CW: Mentions of physical health and others. Remember i’m a SCA respawner and if you’re against this practice, kindly do your research or DNI.

old updates:

this happened a bit after i chosed SCA as my respawn method! (don’t judge me, i went through a time by myself and a deep meditation to realize this method is better for me.)

so huh; i can’t really explain, it wasn’t particularly pleasant but my physical health got a bit physically affected for a few days (i felt pretty tired all the time, i also do some physical activity and it was being hard), one night i got pretty bad symptoms (heart pain/beating too fast), ribs aching, it was hard to breathe… it was pretty bad so my mom noticed and took me to the doctor the day after; in the moment i just asked her to leave me in peace in case smth happened. i didn’t really get all the analysis done in the hospital; but they gave me pills for general dizziness and pain! which i took for a few days and there hasn’t been more of this … i still get the irregular heartbeat and few other symptoms ocasinally ; but it’s not that painful! specially before bed.

new(er) updates:

apart from my physical and mental health getting better;

i’ve been getting pretty vivid memories specially of my childhood in my soul reality! 🌧️🖤 which may or not be a sign to respawn from 0; because … welp, let’s just say i sort of want to revive my childhood there; i also wrote a little script of my kid-teen years in my home reality just in case. 🫶🏻

my dream recall has been sightly better and my S/O is present in 90% of my dream in some way or other (i always struggled with my dream recall because i’m someone who needs sleeping pills since my teens TwT)

in general; i’ve also percieve everything more vividly? i’m not sure how to elaborate but most of my visualizations/memories are in 1st person, in a let’s say cartoony style because my hr is animated; but now is a bit (just a bit) more 3d

i also got images in my brain of what my hr self really looks like; it’s smth i was struggling with since i only had an overall idea and a few drawings AND LET ME JUST SAY I’M BEAUTIFUL🖤🫶🏻

in overall; i think this is all i can say for now apart from my method being simple, i meditate/visualize before bed and persist and i know i already reincarnated/respawned :3 sometimes i play calm subs overnight! (been doing this recently; i just do what feels comfy).

ily anyone who read this. take a cookie and care of yourself. 🍪

does anyone want an update of my respawn journey

i have sum event from a few ago to share and some current (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

#shifting diary #loablr #quantum jumping #quantum immortality #respawn #shiftblr #anti shifters dni

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cyath · 3 years ago

Text

Mephistopheles headcannons :D

Be warned this is my first time making head cannons so sorry that kinda sucks, i try :'b. There are other people that have made amazing head cannons about mephistopheles and i have reblogged them so go check them out! I've also made a few drawings of him and what i think he looks like but my camera quality is shit. *its an android 🙃* but i'll figure it out. Enjoy!

Edit: warning⚠️ I posted this before Mephistopheles was even confirmed to be in the game so you could say that these are my predictions about him or smth

Mephistopheles is part of the news paper club and is in fact the president of it😌

Kinda got fired from it though ._.

Lucifer does nOt like him

(Poor luci)

Got his job back so its all good 👍

Is on thin ice with lucifer because he was apart of making the in-chat stickers of him and diavolo

Mephistopheles: they were good stickers i honestly don't see the problem with them 😒

Poor guy has no close friends

Ha loser

He is kinda popular *im saying this because he ranked 10 i think in the popularity contest or smth*

But even though he does have friends he is not close to any of them.

He is very fashionable and trendy

So he got good style.

Unlike cough cough *satan* cough cough

He is confident,witty, stubborn, smart yet a fycking dumbass most of the time (but he has his moments), pursuasive, and likes to take his chances

He is a ambivert *which mean that he is both a extrovert and a introvert*

Likes to annoy the brothers

He is cool with humans and likes thier culture

Finds them kinda fascinating

He also like photography

Kinda dense when it comes to shutting his mouth

Well kinda

Like bro sometimes asks so many questions

Like stop

Plz

He is arrogant

Guy is also kinda popular on social media

Mostly because of the news paper account that he runs

He takes bold and hot takes and it fudking annoys lucifer so much

Diavolo do find it amusing though

WhIch annoys lucifer EVEN moRe!

Bro knows everything thats going on in the school.

Like every drama, scandle, and many secrets

Bro knows it all

I'd say out of all the brothers he is closest to satan and asmo

Looks like a dog person

*is actually a cat person*

He is a bit of a flirt if i do say so myslef 😌😏

But if you match his energy he is a bit flustered and now see's this as a challenge

But be warned: he will out flirt you

Or so he thinks

He drinks

*apple juice*

He is a smooth talker

Like it feels so easy to talk to him, the conversation goes so smoothly.

A bit to smoothly

You have now confessed that you have murdered 20 people and you don't even realize it.

I know what you did.😐

And now so does he.🙂

At first when you came to r.a.d he just saw you as something he could get information out of

Since you were living with the seven demon lords

But not even him can resist your charm

later he becomes your bestie and feels kinda bad that he used you

Maybe later he has a crush on you👀

Is the type of guy that when he is asked to do smth he says "how much you going to pay me?" Or "what will i get in return?" But he is joking..kinda.

He is a very strong demon

Ofc not as strong as the demon brothers but he is somewhere up there.

When the brothers aren't around he protects mc oFc iT s becAuse he WaNts iNformaTion oUt of you

*or because lucifer will have his head*

Or.. Is it because you've grown on him...👀

You always refuse to be interviewed by him and refuse to even give him a sliver of information to HiM!

Boy is annoyed and intrigued

Like what you hiding?

What secrets do you hold?

What do you know mc?

Guy will bust out the detective kit to see what you hiding from him😤

He is a messy yet organized person

Like his apartment is m e s s y

But he knows where everything is

Oh you need a paperclip?

In the corner left side in the bathroom

Like wtf???

He is a exceptional student with decent grades

He is a night owl

Or maybe he just never sleeps

He is either drinks alot of monster energy drinks

Or lot of coffee

Either way he drinks alot of caffeine

I feel like him a solomon together is pure chaos and shadyness

He also teases luke

Poor baby😤😓😢

He dosn't talk to Simeon alot but they are mutuals

I feel like he is a nerd

Idk in what though

A "bad boy" but also a nerd

But a pain in the ass to lucifer

Okay this turned out longg... Hoppe you enjoyed though! Remember this is my first time writing headcannons. So yes i already know its trash 😌 comment so headcannons you might have, i wpuld love to hear them! I might post these headcannons to instagram but idk

Tell me what you think, im good with constructive criticism!

My masterlist-

#obeyme #obey me one master to rule them all #obeymesimeon #obey me luke #obeymeluci #obey me headcannons #obeyme mephistopheles #obeyme diavolo #obey me #will post the drawing of him soon #obeymesatan #obeymelevi #obeymeasmo #obeymebeel #obeymemammon #obeymebelphie #obeymesolomon #obeymemc

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liliesoftherain · 5 years ago

Note

hiii 💕 if u r interested could u do 52 and 58 prompts (can i kiss u smth like that and are you flirting with me?) it could be about y/n having a crush on bakugo (he likes her too) but she flirts way too much on him (in front of everyone at the dorms) in the weirdest moments (middle of class, 1a watching a movie, eating lunch) but ends in fluff IM SO SORRY IF ITS TOO MUCH TO ASK if u don’t like it i can write another one 😊

A/N: This had me so happy, you have no idea. Thanks for the idea, and you better give me more :b

Title: Who said pickup lines don’t work?

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

52. “Can I kiss you right now?”58. “Are you flirting with me?”

Katsuki Bakugou!:

You were constantly getting away with embarrassing him, there were way too many times to count as it was practically a daily occurrence. You were always doing it in the most public places, like in the classroom:

“I’m lost.”

Bakugou looked up to see you hovering over his desk, a confused look on your face as you held your notebook. It was study hall, and Aizawa was fast asleep, leaving people to their own devices. He was originally studying by himself, until you came over to bother him that is.

“Dumbass, why do I care.” He huffed, hoping his face wasn’t spotting a blush as he saw you pout.

“Because you’re the only one who can help me.”

“Tch. Whatever.” He looked back down at his desk as you set your notebook down in front of him, pointing to a-

A picture?

“What?”

“Like I said, I’m lost. Can you draw me the directions to your heart?”

You pointed at your drawing, in the middle of it it said ‘Your Heart’ in very fancy lettering.

Bakugou knew that this time his face definitely was heating up as you gave him a big flirty grin. The snickers and coos from his classmates only embarrassed him further as he ripped the page out and exploded it in his palms.

“I’M NOT GIVING YOU DIRECTIONS TO SHIT, YOU LOSER!”

All you did was sigh and shrug your shoulders, giving him a wink as you grabbed your book in hopes he wouldn’t burn that too.

“Maybe next time, firecracker~”

“SHUT UP!”

Or even during lunch for the entire cafeteria to hear if they were listening. He knew that most likely no one cared, but it didn’t help it when you did something so grand it felt like all eyes were on him.

“Oh Katsuki!” You yelled from across the table, voice so loud that even Bakugou wanted to cringe back from it.

“What do you want now.”

“So, in front of all these witnesses,” You pointed to the lunch table and the rest of the people in the cafeteria, “I need you to do something.”

“No.”

“But you have to! Listen, you’re smart so I need you to answer this okay?” You fluttered your eyes, and Bakugou felt his resolve cracking. You always knew how to get him to do whatever the hell you wanted, he was sick of it.

“What.”

Mina, Kaminari, and Sero started to snicker as you dramatically stood on the table. They must have known about your stupid plan, those assholes.

“SO EVERYONE IS A WITNESS- KISS ME IF I’M WRONG BUT, DINOSAURS STILL EXIST RIGHT?”

Plenty of eyes found their way over towards the commotion, and Katsuki felt his temper flare. Feeling mortified as you blew a kiss towards him and began to walk closer from atop the tables.

“STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU LITTLE SHIT!” He got up and sped away, hoping the red on his cheekbones wouldn’t become permanent. He wanted your lips nowhere near his, or so he told himself.

Even times where it was just you two, you never left him alone.

“I’m sorry, were you talking to me?” You questioned, looking up from the pot of water you set on the stove to boil.

Katsuki, who was cutting some vegetables looked up with a brow raised.

“No?”

“Well then, would you please start. I like hearing your voice.” You smiled while grabbing the noodles.

“NO!” Katsuki snapped his head away from you, putting more force into his cutting than necessary.

“No fair, your voice is too pretty to be kept quiet. Talk to me.”

“S-shut up already! I’ll fucking kick your ass if you keep it up!”

“Could I kick yours back if you do?~”

“LIKE YOU COULD! DON’T TOUCH MY ASS!”

There were times where you weren’t even trying, yet you still somehow managed to get to him. This time in particular is when he couldn’t hold back any longer, and that was the first time you were flustered by him.

It was right after school ended, everyone was exhausted by Aizawa’s intense training at the end of class. Everyone had made their way to get changed out of their uniforms when Bakugou had saw you lingering behind. You looked tired and worn down, having a rough session with Shinsou earlier. Katsuki was annoyed the entire time you were fighting, not because he thought you couldn’t handle yourself, but because you seemed distracted and were taking more hits than you should have been.

Without even realizing it himself, he stopped to bend down, pretending to tie his shoes as he waited for you to catch up. Once you were by his side you looked down at him with a frown, what the hell was this?

You were always smiling at him.

“What the hell is up with you?” He huffed, standing to his full height.

“I’m just.. Tired, sorry.” You shrugged, bringing an arm to rub the side of your neck, looking away.

Katsuki just stared on in worry, although if anyone told him he was worried he would blast them into oblivion, because Katsuki Bkaugou was never worried.

“Tch, then get more sleep. You can’t keep getting your ass handed to you like that. Got it?”

You smiled, or well you tried to. It was small and didn’t seem to be real, and Bakugou felt a bit hurt cerep into his chest. He looked away as quickly as he could, hoping you didn’t notice the upset look in his eyes.

You hadn’t been pestering him lately and he was growing annoyed. You weren’t being yourself, and he had this nagging feeling he didn’t understand tugging on his heart.

Picking up the pace to get away from you, he didn’t think you’d try to so hard to catch up to him.

“Bakugou-ooh!” During the match, Shinso had delivered a hard blow on your left knee, and now that you were rushing to keep up with your crush, your body wasn’t ready for the pressure. Along with the blow, and still being so tired from your match, you moved quicker than your body wanted and your knee gave out.

Katsuki quickly turned to see you tumble forwards, so he stuck out his arms to catch you before you fell face first onto the floor. You stumbled a bit more, but his tight hold on you held you up, allowing you to steady yourself in his arms. They were wrapped around your waist, holding on just enough to not be painful. You could feel his chest underneath your palms as they pressed against him, and you couldn’t help the slight blush at the thought of how strong it was. He looked far too handsome right now, and your gaze was stuck on him.

His beating heart quickened as you looked up at him, your eyes were blown open wide and sparkling from the setting sun that was filtering through the large windows. It caused his breath to hitch as your lips parted open in awe, a light blush across your own cheeks.

“Oh Katsuki.. I think I’m falling for you.”

Normally he’d fight you, push you away and yell at you for being ridiculous as always, but right now you were too beautiful to look away from. You smiled up at him, and it wasn't the same flirty smile you always teased him with.

No, this was a genuine smile that he’s never seen before and he couldn’t help but look at your lips.

He knew what that feeling had to be, he missed you. Your flirts, your presence, but most importantly;

That’s the smile he’s been missing all day long.

He couldn’t help it, the urge to speak was too strong and so he just followed through.

“I’ll sweep you off your feet for the rest of my life if you keep looking at me, just like this.”

Your mouth dropped open, red roses blooming across your cheeks as your breath caught in your throat. He was just looking at you so intensely, like if he was absolutely lovestruck. You didn’t know what to do, so you just stuttered.

“W-what? I-I.. huh? Are you flirting with me?” This seemed to snap him out of his own daze, because his cheeks then matched yours as he backed away from you. Hands crossed over his chest as he yelled at you.

“W-WHAT!? YOU NERD, I DIDN’T SAY SHIT! YOU’RE HEARING THINGS! GO AWAY ALREADY.”

“But you said-”

“I DIDN’T.”

“Did you mean it?”

“I DID!”

“Really?” You bite your lip, happiness coursing through your body at the sight of his flushing face.

He eyes screwed shut while letting out a sharp breath, opening them slowly but keeping his gaze on the ground.

“I.. I did. I.. I fucking like you okay?”

“I like you too Katsuki, really really!”

“I hope so, otherwise I’d kick your ass for leading me on with those terrible liners.” He clicked the roof of his mouth with his tongue, uncrossing his arms to shove them into his pocket instead.

You just giggled, closing in on him to wrap him into a hug. He went ridgid, not sure what to do, but calmed down as he heard your voice.

“They’re only for you, no one compares to you.”

“Damn straight.”

“Oh, hey.. Can I kiss you right now?”

“Damn straight.”

Later that night, back in the dorms, you were sitting on the couch, with your now boyfriend, when your phone buzzed. Pulling it up you saw a text from Kirishima.

“What does he want?” Katsuki huffed, receiving a text from the boy as well.

You opened the message and couldn’t help but smirk.

“Looks like he had a present for us, damn there must be something wrong with my eyes ‘cause I can’t keep them off of you in this picture. Who knew you could look this cute.”

Katsuki slammed his phone on the couch, jumping off while screaming out into the dorms.

“SHITTY HAIR!”

You only looked back to the picture, your heart squeezing happily as you did. It was from earlier, he must’ve been spying. It was after Katsuki hugged you right after your kiss, and while you couldn’t see his face at that moment, you could see it in this picture clearly.

You swore to yourself you’ll see it in person one day, the smile on his face was the most gorgeous thing you’ve ever seen in your life.

#bnha #bnha x reader #katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bnha katsuki x reader #bnha katsuki bakugou x reader #bnha bakugou x reader #bnha bakugou katsuki x reader #mha #mha x reader #mha katsuki bakugou x reader #bnha requests #liliesasks #my hero academia #boko no hero academia #boku no hero academia

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iwach4n · 5 years ago

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ok i crashed bc i havent slept in a hot minute buT punk yamaguchi lets geddit- SO HE WEARS RINGS RIGHT?!? AND HIS HANDS ARE SEXY AS FUCK,, SO yall are at a cafe or smth WITH THE REST OF THE SQUAD™ and he puts his hand on ur thigh and you try not to show it but god damn u are HORNY™ ,, and he notices bc how can he not with u squriming and rubbing your thighs together and he smiRKS and tEASES THE SHIT OUT OF YOU ,, AND U CANT DO ANTH except wHimper and takE IT BC ur his good girl 😌😌 - 🧿

i would say make sure you get more sleep but i took ages to answer this because i crashed too so that would be a teensie bit hypocritical. also i get so carried away with punk yams. like i just keep writing.

but like,,, he knows you have a thing for his hands. and even though he's not a sadist, coz this is still yamaguchi we're talking about, he is a bit of a tease, because he finds all your reactions just so cute and funny

imagine, the original karasuno nationals team meet up for lunch to catch up. all 12 players and both managers are there, and yamaguchi wanted to bring you along, and everyone was fine with it because they wanted to meet his s/o. its your first time meeting any of them apart from those who are still on the team in yams's year, so this really was a bad day to get unreasonably horny.

you're trying to answer nishinoya's questions and pay attention to the stories daichi is telling, but its so damn hard when his hands are right there, fingers absently drumming on the table when you'd much rather have them inside you, or pinching your nipple, or around your neck or in your mouth or literally anywhere that would ease your excitement. and it really didn't help that those rings not only made his hands look even better, they also kept drawing your attention.

yamaguchi notices the way you keep glancing at his hand. at first, he slips it in yours, thinking you want to hold hands but are shy in front of the team (he may be punk but he's still a sweetheart change my mind). he figures out what's going on when he notices your glances continue and the way you rub your legs together and wet your lips with a blush. and, well, what sort of boyfriend would he be if he left you wanting?

so he slips his hand under the table and towards you, lightly squeezing your thigh before going straight to where you need his attention. he hooks his finger into your underwear so that the cool metal of one of his rings is pressed right against your clit.

and then the bastard leaves it there.

he has to hold back a chuckle as he watches you squirm, the line between being subtle and getting off very fine and one you keep stumbling over. but then you look at him Like That - all blushy and desperate and silently begging - and god, he really can't resist you.

so he slips and finger inside and starts a decent pace - its relief, but you're not going to cum anytime soon, which is maybe better, considering how many people are here.

all hopes of keeping this a secret fly out of the window when tanaka, who was sitting across from you, drops a fork and goes under the table to get it. and yamaguchi doesn't stop. in fact, he slips another finger inside, making you whimper. and you know tanaka sees, because when he comes back up, he gives the two of you a look that you can't place between shocked, embarrassed and impressed.

and when you get home, he'll keep talking about it while he gives you orgasm after orgasm - about how you got so wet and horny just from looking at his hands, how tanaka was lucky to get such a great view, how you're so perfect and good for him for letting him do that where people might see

(official thirst night closed now but like. you know what my inbox is always open to go mad over punk yams)

#chat with glitter #glitter's thirst nights #glitter's darlings #🧿 anon #punk yamaguchi

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90s-belladonna · 5 years ago

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Hey! 🍊I really like your blog and your perception of BNHA characters! They have flaws and don`t lose their personality, but still sweet. So can I request BNHA match-up please?* I`m 5'8, straight, leo, female with brown eyes and ombre hair. I`m average weight and the definition of pear shape.* I can be shy and silent, when I`m in the group of people. But usually I am the one, who starts the conversation lol The most important point for me is that, the person shares the same sense of humor (1/3)

“🍊 as mine. I can laugh at anything, that supposed to be funny. Even if the joke is not really funny, it is funny to me, that person cracked such stupid joke. The indicator of my closeness with my friends is that I can insult them in the joking way, knowing, that I don`t hurt them. And I`m kind of tsundere lol It is hard for me to express my feelings. I can not yell, cry or show affection in public. I am really bad with words. But I LOVE to hug my friends. I think, I`m open-minded (2/3) 🍊 and loyal, but sometimes I can not read the mood and can seem rude. I like listening more, than talking. 3). I enjoy learning new things, especially languages. I do dancing, yoga, horse riding, basketball. I like anime, manga, cartoons and light comedies. I draw and write sometimes. I kind of enjoy math - it helps me to think lol I am interested in history.(I hope, I did it right. It is my first time requesting smth. is it ok, that it`s so long?) Thank you!!!💖 (3/3)

Edgeshot

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

why did I match you two?: much like you, shinya too appears timid at first, but once you get to know him you realize he’s got jokes for days and is just a pleasant person to be around. I also think his calm demeanor would be a perfect match for your tsundere tendencies, he wouldn’t be overbearing and would allow you to slowly fall in love with him without being pushy.

how you’d get together: part of me wants to think you two met at the library while teaching for the same book, which was the only copy btw, you two would end up sharing the book and making conversation while getting done whatever you needed to get done with the book. He’d probably ask you out for tea afterwards if you were free.

what your relationship would be like: surprisingly it would be a chill yet constant adventure. he, like you, is a guy who loves discovering new things so there’s no doubt in my mind your relationship would mirror that. it would be a very no pressure relationship. I could see you as the type of person who hardly trusts people and is constantly guarded, but he’d break down all your walls and get you to see that there’s no need to be apprehensive with him, he wouldn’t hurt you, not ever.

nicknames he has for you: the way he says your name alone will have you absolutely swooning! ‘darling’ is his go to term of endearment but he’ll occasionally sprinkle in a ‘beloved’ in there too.

your song: quicksand - sza

headcanons for your relationship:

❥ he loves that you’re taller than him, he thinks it makes you look extra powerful! but he will blush if you tease him about being shorter than you, even if it’s just by one inch.

❥ we all know he’s a ninja fan boy so obviously he’ll just randomly start telling you about their history when you two are hanging out since he knows you’re interested in history.

❥ since you’re so open to learning new things he would 100% teach you self defense just in case of an emergency.

❥ you two read manga and watch anime together all the time!

❥ he’s got the voice of an asmr god so of course he talks to you every night before bed to help you go to sleep faster and calmer.

☆ Match Up Guidelines

☆ Master List

~ A/N: this was an amazing first request! you did great🖤 ~

#shinya kamihara x reader #shinya kamihara #edgeshot x reader #edgeshot #hero x reader #match ups✨

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retro-rezz-the-est · 5 years ago

Text

Eyes In The Dark (Ember Moon/Reader)

Summary: Modern!AU twist on The Little Red Riding Hood by the Brothers Grimm, featuring our favorite flame haired moon goddess.

Warnings: Blood tw, severe biting tw (at the very end), getting lost alone in the woods, stalking, chasing, choking (also at the very end), lots of screaming and I think that’s it???? Lmk if I’m forgetting smth

Word Count: 6,182

(A/N: This is my entry for @neversatisfiedgirl’s Love/Sex/Magic Challenge! It was so much fun to write something more different than I usually do, and I hope you like it, hun!)

Halloween season was always your favorite time of the year.

You loved every bit of it, from the chilly sweater weather to the leaves that would fall from the trees and into your hair, to even the abundance of pumpkin spice flavored everything that made the air smell of cinnamon and nutmeg. You loved the cheesy home decorations, you loved the kids running around the city high off of nothing but sugar and pure excitement, and you certainly loved all the themed food people would make for their parties.

But your favorite thing of all?

There always seemed to be some magic in the air around this time of year.

And you could sense it, a feeling crawling over your skin as you woke up the day before, stretching your arms above your head and smiling. The sun gave off a warm, orange hue that perfectly complemented the autumn aesthetic of your block, and you leapt out of bed to go look out the window.

It’s beautiful, you thought, your smile growing as you opened the window and let the cold morning air in. You could feel it, the magic of old that your grandmother told you about all those years ago filling your lungs and spreading through your entire body. It filled you with a warmth you couldn’t describe and you wanted to keep it that way. Spoiling it would ruin the fun, after all.

Throwing on a nearby sweater, you grabbed your phone and exited your room, ready to decorate and start the day. Your roommate Sasha was passed out on your couch, her deep blue hair a tangled mess as she snored the morning away. You chuckled and softly made your way over to your shared kitchen to not wake the sleeping woman.

You opened your fridge and sighed, grabbing an apple from one of the drawers when your phone rang, the device vibrating in your hand. Looking down at it, you smiled and slid your thumb across the screen to unlock it.

“Hey, Mom,” you sighed, leaning against your kitchen cabinets. “How are you?”

“Oh, I’m doing great, sweetheart. It’s almost your grandmother’s favorite day, after all.”

That was another reason you loved the holiday so much: your grandmother. She was always the biggest advocate for celebrating it, even if no one else wanted to. You admired her for her tenacity, and so you developed a love for it at a very young age. “How are you and that roommate of yours?”

“We’re fine,” you said, taking another glance at Sasha, who was still miles away in her own head. “She’s here now if you wanna talk to her.”

“No, no, (Y/n). I know she’s asleep as she always is.” The two of you shared a laugh, her voice still warm and full of life after all these years.

“So, is there a reason you’re calling me at eight o’clock in the morning, Mom? Did something happen?”

“What? I can’t call my favorite daughter and check up on her?”

You rolled your eyes at her sarcasm.

“I need you to go down to her cabin and help her set up for tomorrow. She can’t do it all by herself with that old body of hers, of course.”

That’s right, you thought. It was tradition for you to drive down to her cabin in the woods and decorate for the brave kids who would go to her home for candy on Halloween night every year. “Sure thing. After I run my errands for the day, I’ll head straight down there.”

She’s lived out there for years now, coming up on a decade since she’s stayed at that old cabin. She would tell you stories of the creatures of old who would roam out there at night, tales of ancient faerie kings and fearsome beasts who stalked their territory. Your mother told the old woman to stop filling your head with such nonsense at a young age, but you didn’t care. You loved her stories and you always wanted to hear more.

Everyone outside of your family called her an old crackpot for spewing such tales and for her always following superstitions to a tee, hence why she moved out into the woods in the first place. She always felt at home there, and she wanted to be kept close to the magical energy that had always lingered behind all of the tall and old trees that stood there.

She would always warn you to never travel out there at night, however, and to never, under any circumstances, walk through the woods during a full moon.

“Dark forces are the most alive under the light of a full moon, dearie,” she told you when you first visited her out there, holding your hand and rubbing it with her wrinkled thumb. “They draw their powers and their strength from it, and they will use those powers to hurt you.”

“If you say that, then why do you want to live here?”

She smiled, her dimples sinking under her skin. “Oh, it’s a beautiful thing to watch from the outside. All the magic in this area concentrated into one place, watching it swirl around in the air like chimney smoke. But I’ve been exposed to full moon magic and trust me, darling, you will regret it if you're exposed to it as well.”

“Thank you, sweetheart,” your mother replied, sighing with relief. “I worry about her, y’know. She’s living all by herself and so far away from the rest of us.”

“I know, and I get worried too. But, she’s strong. Stronger than the rest of us, anyway.”

“That too, (Y/n). Also, the church asked me to make some things for their yearly bake sale, and I think I made too many cookies this time. Do you think you could come over to pick some up and bring them to her?”

“Not a problem, Mom. Gotta go, though, I got things to do today.” Which, in reality, meant about only three things to do and then absolutely nothing for the remainder of the day.

The two of you said your goodbyes and you walked out of the kitchen, setting your phone down on the counter as Sasha finally awoke and sat up. She squinted in your general direction and grimaced at how happy and energetic you looked.

“You wanna go out tonight? My treat,” she asked, her voice rough and tired.

“Didn’t you just come back from a night out? And now, you wanna go back outside?”

She shrugged, moving over so you can sit on the couch with her. “What can I say? I like to live in the moment.”

The two of you shared a laugh, Sasha turning on the television just as you saw a pair of piercing red eyes reflect back at you in the dark screen. They quickly skimmed your body before claiming your eyes for themselves, their color shining like rubies.

You were taken aback by their sudden presence, shrieking in surprise before they quickly vanished, leaving you shaken. They seemed to capture your soul with a single glance and they looked so real, almost to the point where you could’ve touched them…

“Girl, what happened? Are you okay?” Sasha asked, seeing how your chest heaved with every breath.

This wasn’t the first time you’d seen the eyes. They showed up everywhere: when you were alone in your bathroom, there they were, glaring away at you in the mirror; when you were alone in your room at night, they would flare away like open flames in the darkest corner; you would even see them when you were alone and walking up your stairs, catching a glimpse of them in the alley that ran behind your house. They’ve never shown up when you were around other people.

Never, until today, that is.

“Yeah, I-I’m fine,” you responded, sitting on your hands to stop them from shaking. “It was nothing, anyways.”

You took a quick look behind the couch to find nothing - as usual - and let out a shaky sigh, hoping that it would be the last time you saw them today. But deep down, you knew it was still there. You knew that it was still somewhere around, watching you from afar and plotting its next move like a predator stalking its prey.

It was only a matter of time. It would play this game of waiting, but only for a little longer.

It was only a matter of time…

~~~~~

The day had passed relatively quickly, with you stepping outside to pick up the goods for your grandmother at your mother’s house and you stopping by the local party store to pick up a few more Halloween decorations for your shared home. You could still feel someone (most likely her) watching your every move, the feeling like a lead pipe slowly inching through your veins. It made you turn your head and look a few times, but nothing was there as usual.

The sun was slowly dipping behind the clouds as you briskly made your way back inside, the orange-yellow rays of light filtering through the windows when you shut the door with a huff. Sasha had opted to stay inside to get herself ready for the night ahead of you.

“Back already? I thought you’d be gone forever.”

You laughed, placing your bags down in the kitchen as she left her room and made her way down to you. You could see that her makeup was already half done, one eye surrounded by a smoky black while the other was left blank.

“I left your costume on your bed, (Y/n),” she said, briefly hugging you before taking the goods your mother made out of their bag. “Don’t want you being the odd one out in there.”

She went to take a cookie for herself but she yelped as you slapped her hand. “Those aren’t for you, remember? So don’t touch.”

The blue haired woman grumbled, rubbing her hand and stalking away back to her room to finish getting ready. You slid off your boots and your jacket, throwing it on a nearby chair and walking down the hall and into your own room.

“Damn, she chose good,” you mumbled, seeing the black, white and red dress with its red velvet cloak laid out on your bedspread. Will this thing even fit me? you thought as you shed your clothes to try the costume on. She had even left her black calf high boots for you to complete the outfit.

Taking a look at yourself in the mirror, you had to admit…you looked good. You strutted around your room, twirling every now and then to see the skirt and the cape flare up around you. You sat at the desk next to your bed, opening your makeup case to apply some mascara and some lipstick, but you saw the outline of a pitch black figure behind you, its blood red irises glowering in your direction. You froze, the hand holding your mascara stopping halfway to your eye as it snarled, pointed white teeth dripping with…

Wait, is that blood?!

It crouched behind you, red drops falling from its shiny maw and onto your carpet with its gaze fixated on your shocked reflection. You couldn't move from your seat; you were frozen with fear as it reared back and growled, booking it towards you and pouncing at your chair.

Fuck, I'm gonna die, aren't I?!

You screamed, throwing your hands over your face, expecting to feel claws bearing through your clothes and tearing at your skin but instead, you felt…nothing?

Shakily, you moved your hands down and took in the room around you. Nothing seemed to be out of place except the makeup case that you had knocked off of your table in your rush to protect your face. Sasha burst into the room, her white wig a mess as she straightened out her black and white striped Beetlejuice costume.

"You alright, (Y/n)?! I heard something fall over and you screaming."

Your heart was still thundering in your chest and you were still breathing heavily, placing a hand on your chest to quell the nerves running through your body. "Y-Yeah, I'm alright. Just s-scared myself a little, is all."

She leaned up against your doorframe, brows creased and her mouth a firm line. "Girl, you've been freaking out literally all day. Are you okay? Did something happen?"

"I told you I'm fine," you told her firmly. "I promise."

"Are you fine enough to go out tonight? I can call Bayley and tell her that we can't come and meet her."

"No!" Your shouting took her back a few steps. "I'm still good to go."

"Well alright, then," she said after a few moments of silence. "We'll head out in a few."

And with that, she closed your door softly, and you heard her heeled footsteps echo faintly down the hallway.

You took another look at yourself in your small desk mirror, wiping away the mascara that you managed to get on your cheek and taking another look behind you.

It was just there, you thought. Am I really just seeing things?

A look down proved you wrong, as the claw marks that gouged out some of your carpet fluff said otherwise. You got up and walked towards them with trembling legs, kneeling down to run your fingertips over them. "So, it was real, then."

You quickly finished applying the rest of your makeup and tightened the cloak around your neck, grabbing your phone and leaving your room. You saw that Sasha had left a wicker basket out for you (your outfit couldn't be cliché enough, it seems) and you slipped the cookies your mother had wrapped for you earlier into it.

You could still feel something staring at you from the far corners of your home, waiting for its chance to strike again.

I have to get out of here.

~~~~~

The ride to the club you were meeting Bayley at was silent and tension filled, the atmosphere so thick that you could cut it with a knife and serve it on a plate. Sasha knew something was up with you - hell, you could even see it in her black rimmed eyes - but she held it off. Why ruin a perfectly good night with more drama?

You kept your eyes on the road as to not engage with her but the two of you soon pulled into the club's parking lot, the black haired female bounding up to your car as soon as she saw it. Sasha rolled down her window, giving her girlfriend a quick kiss before opening the door and stepping out.

"I see the two of you came matching," you smirked, pointing out her Lydia Deetz bridal costume to compliment her lover's Beetlejuice. She blushed, hiding her pale face in Sasha's neck as you emerged from the car, deciding to leave the basket inside.

Bayley gave you a quick side hug once you came around to her, and the three of you walked inside the club, feeling the bass from the music inside vibrate through you. It was dimly lit inside, the only real light coming from the DJ booth in the back and the opening of the front entrance. It was packed with brightly colored people, with some dressed in costumes of their own to celebrate the spooky season while others chose to forgo the wear.

The bright strobe lights were a stark contrast to the dark interior, but it added a sense of character to the place. The two women tugged at your wrists and dragged you onto the dance floor, the duo laughing as they did so. They dragged you into the large mass of people and soon, you were pressed against them as they danced against each other. Sasha grabbed Bayley's hips and pulled her close, looking seductively into her eyes as the music blasted away.

"I'm gonna go grab us some drinks, okay?" you shouted over all the noise. They didn't seem to hear you (or they didn't want to) so you just went over to the bar anyway.

You returned a few minutes later with three strawberry daiquiris in hand, coming back to see the pair entranced in their own little world. They noticed that you had finally returned, rejoicing at the sight of you with the drinks in your hands.

With alcohol flowing through your system, you grew more bold and soon enough, the three of you were dancing wildly along with the rest of the crowd, bumping and grinding and dancing along with your friends. The night came too quickly, and the light of the full moon began to some through the windows above you.

"Hey, Sasha," you asked, feeling a little more than buzzed already, "What time 's it?"

"It's eleven thirty, (Y/n)!" Bayley answered, looking down at her smartwatch and giggling while bouncing along to the club music.

"Hey, don't you have to -"

"Fuck me!" you yelled, letting the two of them go and stumbling back. Shit, I forgot!

You placed a hand on your head and asked, "Can you take Sasha home, Bayley? I have to go, and it's already late enough"

She could tell you were rushing and nodded, earning a hug from you. You hugged Sasha goodbye as well, bumping against people as you stumbled away from them and out of the club. You turned back to see the dancing on each other again and smiled, grateful to have such good friends.

The sudden coldness of the outside made you shiver, and you cursed yourself for not bringing a jacket with you when you left home. Rubbing your arms, you stumbled to your car and opened the door, wary of the basket in the back seat as you pulled out of the club parking lot and onto the road.

It was a lot darker and quieter than it normally was around this time of year, but you didn't notice. The only thing that was on your mind was driving down to help your grandmother. You just hoped that she wasn't mad at you for being extremely late.

"Shit, shit, shit," you murmured as houses and stop lights turned into empty patches of land littered with trees and hills. The only sounds you could hear were the ones of your own worrying and the sound of your tires against the gravel. It made you break out into a cold sweat, looking out of the windows next to you and seeing nothing but darkness with a few strands of moonlight flowing in.

Come on, go faster! you thought, pressing your booted foot harder on the gas pedal. You gripped the wheel tightly as the moon rose high in the night sky, shining above you. Apparently it wanted to fuck with you because as soon as you thought you were getting somewhere, your car started to slow doen.

"Wait, what?" you said, hearing your tires slow down until they fully came to a stop right in front of the dense forest you've been driving past for almost twenty minutes. "No. No, no, no, no! Fuck!"

You slammed your hands against the queen in a rage over and over again, seeing the "E" next to your work gauge blink white. Reaching back for your basket, you grabbed it and got out of your car, slamming the door and locking it with a huff.

"Guess I'm walking, then," you sighed. You took out your phone and went to call Sasha, but to no avail.

No service. Fan-fucking-tastic.

The woods ahead of you looked absolutely terrifying, with the trees seeming to have faces that were frozen in a permanent terror and the voices that seemed to drift from its depths, beckoning you closer and closer to your doom like sirens.

But, you were a woman on a mission.

So, you turned on your phone's flashlight function with one hand, clutched your basket tight with the other, and put on a brave face as you faced the woods. You heard your grandmother's voice in your head in that moment.

"Dark forces are the most alive under the light of a full moon, dearie."

Yeah, right, you scoffed, legs shaking slightly as you stepped into the vortex of flora, it almost reaching out to pull you into itself. What could possibly happen? It's not like I'm just gonna die out here.

~~~~~

This was a bad idea.

That was your first rational thought after walking through the endless mass of trees for no more than ten minutes.

You honestly couldn't tell which way was forward anymore. You couldn't see where you came from, nothing about this area looked familiar to you, the trees didn't have any gauges in them to signify that you were going the right way, you couldn't hear the stream that ran behind your grandmother's cabin, and you knew for a fact that there weren't any bats in get area.

In other words? You were lost.

Hopelessly, terribly lost.

Were you scared? Yes, but you were more annoyed with the countless crap that kept flying into your face than anything else.

"I fucking hate this," you grumbled as you tripped on another overgrown tree root and stumbled, another tree branch smacking your face. A wind swept through the trees, making you shiver and hold your cloak as tight as you could to your body. You could hear the crows cawing again, and you could hear them flying above the trees and blocking out the moon.

This was such a bad idea, you thought again when your phone decided to die on you, an empty battery showing up on its screen as the flashlight dimmed and left you alone. You nearly cried when you felt the darkness slip over your skin and cover your eyes like a glove.

Reaching your hand out, you tried to navigate your way through but failed, stumbling into a bush and falling on your knees. Tears began to well up in your eyes as you felt its thorns dig into you, ripping your tights and and slicing into the skin of your arms.

A deep rumble erupted from behind you and you went silent, holding your hands over your mouth to silence your breathing. Squeezing your eyes shut, you could feel the ground shake with the footsteps of what was coming in your direction, and you could hear its growling get louder with each one. Branches broke, plants were overturned, and you could even hear its ragged breathing as it approached you.

Then, everything stopped. It grew pindrop silent, with the wind whistling above your head being the only sound out there. Eyes opening, you looked up and prayed that that…thing…wasn’t behind you, stalking you and toying with your fear.

Turning around proved fruitless as you stared directly at a being with long flame colored hair, it seeming almost alive and you could almost feel the heat radiating off of it. Its sharp white teeth were equally blinding, and they curved into a Cheshire Cat-like grin. They were the only things shining brightly in the pitch blackness of the forest.

Well, other than the pair of glaring red eyes that were currently peering into your soul.

You felt your heart stop and you jumped, throwing your phone into your basket as you booked it from the bush and…whatever that thing was in a hurry. You didn’t care if you tripped over your own boots and fell flat on your face. As you were running past the trees and dodging stray roots and branches as quickly as you could, only one thing stood out to you.

I have to get out of here.

You didn’t even know how long you were running for but every time you wanted to stop, the adrenaline coursing through your veins kept you going. Stray twigs and leaves littered your hair and rumpled dress, and the thorns from the bush had poked holes in your cloak. Your basket kept on beating against your side and you were pretty sure that area was bruising, but you didn't care. You knew it was following you. You could hear it in the distance as the wind roared in your ears. You just had to run.

You finally stopped in a clear patch of grass, falling onto your hands and knees to catch your breath. Your chest ached from breathing too hard and you could hear your heartbeat in your ears, but you turned around to look and see if it was still following you anyway and luckily, it was not.

Thank gods, you though, sighing and standing to stretch out your legs. You could see a small dog of light in the distance ahead of you, and you pushed the low hanging branches above you to see your grandmother's cabin in front of you, the fairy lights that she always hands twinkling away like stars.

You nearly cried at the sight of the old wooden building and you walked up to it, running your hand along the boards that lined the outside walls. The place was small, only one story, and covered in moss from top to bottom. But, despite you mother’s wishes, your grandmother still loved the place, claiming that the nature spirits around it were the things that kept her there.

Your heart swelled at the thought and you moved around to the front door, raising your hand to knock when a light breeze blew the door open. The old hinges on the door squeaked and you saw that it was only hanging on by one. The smooth wood was marred with deep lines that ran from them to the handle, and even the handle itself had fallen to the ground.

Looking around at the state of the cabin’s exterior, you saw that the small circular windows that lined the outside had been shattered. Large pieces of stained glass hung from the empty frames by literally nothing and that got you worried.

You picked up the brass knob, worry creasing your brow as you placed it in your basket and carefully pushed the door open, cautious of it potentially falling off. It was pitch black on the inside aside from a lone candle flickering away on the floor next to you, so you bent down to reach for it and you heard a faint crunch underneath your foot.

What the hell?

Candle in hand, your vision brightened and you saw that everything around you was…

...it was completely destroyed.

Pieces of glass big and small littered the carpet around you and all over the living room. It crunched as you walked over it. You held the small candle close to you as the ripped curtains rustled as a breeze came into the space.You could see row after row of claw marks lining the walls, going from the floor all the way up to the ceiling.

Your grandmother had pictures of you and your entire family hung up along the wall in her small living room and those were now all on the floor, their frames cracked in some places and shattered in others. Holding the light closer, you could see drops of red staining the glass and that you were ripped out of every picture, a jagged space left behind instead.

You took a harsh step back, tripping over an overturned chair and stumbling. Your leg caught on the small table she’s had in the cabin since she moved in and you looked at it quickly to see that it was completely smashed, broken irregularly down the middle and sinking inwards. The games that were always placed upon it were scattered across the floor with their pieces lost to dark corners. The lamps that were standing tall beside it were now on the floor, their poles bent at odd angles and their shades torn to shreds.

The carpet that ran from the door was also shredded to near nothing, bits and pieces of the knitted material sprouting up from the ground like multi-colored flowers. The tears ran from the door to where it ended at the main hallway. Vases of flowers were tipped over, and you could already tell that the kitchen didn’t fair as well either.

Cabinets were thrown open, ripped from their hinges as you walked into the kitchen, placing your basket down on what remained on the small counter and stepping over the cabinet doors as they laid on the floor. As if there wasn’t enough glass around already, fragments of assorted mugs and plates were strewn about along the time.

You picked up one of them, half an old Christmas photo of a young you and your grandmother still on it. Tears pricked your eyes as you looked around at the wreckage, only hoping that nothing bad had been brought upon her.

You stepped outside and around a corner, running your fingertips along the deep scratch marks that decorated the once warm and homey walls. You descended down the hallway to your grandmother's room and continued to see the carnage, lights barely flickering as they laid on the floor and paintings that were slashed to ribbons and laid to waste.

What could have done all of this? you thought, shaking in your boots. Your cloak fluttered away against your legs like your heart in your chest when you approached her room door. The door was also smashed open, a gaping hole where the door knob and lock would've been. You didn't want to assume the worst when you approached it, but you couldn't help it. You shut your eyes and took a deep breath.

"Hello? Is anyone in there?" you asked out loud, chuckling nervously as you toed the door open and it opened with a creak. "I brought over some cookies Mom made if you want any. I heard they were a knockout at the church bake sale."

The door proceeded to fall off of its hinges and you jumped, goosebumps dotting your skin. You looked around and choked back a sob, holding a hand over your mouth as tears formed in your eyes when seeing the wreckage of your grandmother's bedroom.

Somehow, her room looked even worse than the rest of the house. The glass in her windows was completely smashed, and the glass fell onto her sheets and dressers like stray raindrops. The large oak dresser she kept in the back corner of the room had its doors ripped clean off as well, with whole chunks missing from it and more jagged claw marks marking their territory. Clothes spilled from it and you could see that some of them had been chewed out, leaving large holes and more red stains all over them.

Her standing desk and mirror were splintered into nothing but twigs, and you could see that the ornate carving of it had been scratched out by something. The bed was in even worse shape however, as the entire thing looked like it was sat on by a giant. The boards underneath were broken clean in two and the mattress itself had random springs exuding from the sides.

The worst part of it all were the pillows and bed sheets. The originally peach colored items were a deep red color, and they were oddly shiny for some reason. The color began to seep out into the untainted areas until there was a large patch of deep scarlet staining the mattress.

I think I’m gonna be sick, you thought as you felt bile and shock rise up from your abdomen. Taking a few wobbly steps back, you couldn't form any coherent words. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Anything but this...

You stepped over the assorted mess of things to look at yourself in the cracked mirror. The thing looked like something was body slammed into it and large pieces of it were missing. You finally let out the sob you've been holding so deep within your chest for the past few minutes. Seeing this… seeing all of this… this wreckage, this destruction, this defiling of your grandmother's sacred space? It hurt your soul to see what it's become. Whatever - or whoever - did this had done this to specifically target her, but she didn't deserve any of this.

You looked just as broken as the mirror did, but you could feel something behind you. Something staring directly at your back, drilling a hole directly into your spine with its intensity.

You turned slowly and saw the being from earlier in the forest, its long nails outstretched and sharpened. Its bright flame hair glowed with a new light, as if some deep passion was fueling it. Its mouth and chin glistened with a thick, dark substance, and you immediately knew what it was.

It wore a torn black tank top that had a strap hanging down its shoulder, and it wore a pair of dark grey jeans with a million different holes and rips in them, but you could only guess as they were both were splattered in what you presumed to be blood. It was barefoot but to your demise, it didn’t seem to even notice the countless splinters and shards of glass that were currently injecting themselves into its skin.

The same substance that dripped from its chin ran fresh down its arms and fell from its claws, making you retch a little as you stood perfectly still. Its blazing bright red eyes nearly matched the red that they were currently covered in, and they were trained onto you and they flickered at every movement you made.

As the light of the moon came through the shattered windows, you could see that it was more of a she, and she looked hungry as she smiled wickedly at you. She was silently panting, her stance wide and looking like she was ready to pounce. She looked at you like you were her next meal.

She wanted you.

“Dark forces are the most alive under the light of a full moon, dearie.”

Run.

That was the second rational thought your brain gave you that night as your subconscious made your decision for you, moving your legs as fast as you could in the direction of what would’ve been the door.

I have to leave, have to leave have to leave now-

You didn’t even see her fucking move from behind you and somehow she was already ahead of you, gripping the doorframe to the point of splintering what remained of it. Shaken, you abruptly stopped and stepped on a stray dress from the large closet, slipping on it and falling flat on your ass.

She slowly stalked towards you, dragging her right foot behind her as you frantically crawled backwards to try and find something to throw at her. The candle fell out of your hand and you grasped it at the last minute, chucking it at her with all your might but she chuckled, a deep, rumbling noise. It bounced harmlessly off of her and landed on the floor. She stomped it out with her left foot and continued towards you, carelessly flicking away the stray things you found on the floor with a smile on her face.

“Who even are you?! What do you want from me?!” you yelled as you backed yourself against the front of the bed, her crouching down to your level and gripping your neck. Her hold was tight but firm, and she reached down to hold your wrists together with her free hand when you went to scratch at the one on your neck.

She leaned in close and sniffed you, tears running down the side of your face as she smelled the fear drifting from you in sheets. You felt her claws dig into your flesh and you could feel streams of blood begin to flow from the soon-to-be deep cuts.

Her tongue hung out of her gaping maw and she came close to lick your face from your chin to your forehead, making you hyperventilate and physically shake in fear. It took everything in you not to scream bloody murder (ironically) and she cackled at you holding your tongue.

“Please don’t hurt me,” you whispered, your thin voice trembling as your will to fight started to die.

She looked so amused at your fear and gave you the most sickly sweet smile you’d ever seen. Her voice was chasmic and echoed through the room, rattling your bones.

“My name, dear Little Red, is Ember. And you’re my new toy now, so why would I hurt you?”

Her grip grew even tighter as she said this, her head twitching with every other word. You could see your vision growing faint from the lack of oxygen and soon, it grew black. The last thing you felt before you passed out was her bloody mouth against your cheek as she dug her teeth into it, pulling at the skin and lapping at the scarlet liquid that spilled from it.

“Oh, I’m gonna have so much fun with you when you wake up…”

~~ Tag List: @writinglionqueen @writing-reigns @i-have-saracasm @yaint-me @alwaysbenhardysgirl @mother-of-goddesses @missmoxy @gold--gucciempress @mistress-to-the-moon @meishaabae @luciddrreamss @neversatisfiedgirl @the-carter-mob-don @dreamlesswonder86shazambitches @drewmcintyreinarefereeoutfit @finnsauroraborealis @tacoshu @ladytea19 @candicelerae @sassymox @bambixbliss @lookalivesunshine-x @liamakorn @baddie-bismuth @deepdisireslonging @flawlessglamazon @myorlandobloomersareshowing @thegoblin-maiden @justsimplevicky @taryn-dibiase @caramara3 @hardcorewwetrash @shieldgirl18 @speckylynch @thirst-n-bullshit @trent7thirsting @theskullgoddess @nerdlife0612 @thorfanficwriter @axelwolf8109 @hardcoresweet45 @culturalrebel @andie01 @sassyspacedust @neversatisfiedgirlfics ~~

If you want to be added to my tag list, shoot me an ask or a DM! ^^

#ember moon x reader #ember moon fanfiction #ember moon fanfic #wwe fanfiction #wwe fanfic #wwe x reader #ember moon imagine #wwe imagine #rezz writes some bullshit #lovesexmagic challenge #happy early Halloween everyone :D ♥️#love/sex/magic challenge

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szopenhauer · 4 years ago

Text

Have you ever felt a baby kick? I saw and that was scary enough, no thx

What color pants/shorts are you wearing? brown/beige, Dave bought those sweatpants for me/us

Have you ever heard of Leonard Cohen? of course, Nat loves him

What are you usually doing at midnight? lay in my bed, probably listen to music or chat with M.

What is the worst thing you’ve ever done when you were really angry? ugh... Are there any pills you take on a daily basis? If so, what? not currently

Do you like the smell of coconuts? meh

What is the heaviest you think you can lift? depends

Have you ever walked on a pier at the beach? yes

How about under one? also?

Do you ever talk to yourself or think deep thoughts while on the toilet? lmfao

Do you ever sing to yourself? lmfao x2

What is a sound that relaxes you? clock ticking :x

If you could have a sea creature as a pet, what would you want? octopus

How about a farm animal? chicken but I won’t

What is a song that you hate to admit you like? many

Do you ever use Urban Dictionary? very rarely

Do you find the definitions on there to be generally funny or stupid? both

What comes to your mind when you hear the word ‘transformation’? turning into animal XD

What was something you regularly played with as a child? lots of stuff

What part of your body have you had the most problems with in your life? heart, teeth, brain, skin, hair and belly

Do a lot of people check you out when you’re in public? pfft, nobody does

What is a good name for a turtle? mine was called BOB from Bob the builder

Can you imitate any accents well? sorta

What makes a good kisser a good kisser? dunno, not saliva for sure, yuk

Do you ever eat with your eyes closed and just focus on the taste? probably tried that before, I don’t remember

What do you dislike most about where you live right now? home, parents, town, country or smth else?

Are you watching your weight? not recently

Have you ever become really good friends with someone you found online? I have, we’re no longer friends tho

Do you have a drunk uncle? had

Do you hear weird noises in your house at night? not really, usually not

What is something you do that is generally more like something the opposite sex does? ask Nat :P

What is the girliest thing you do, if you’re a girl? *shrug*

What is the coolest tattoo you’ve ever seen? moon and sun with faces on knees <3

Have you ever created anything artistic that you’re proud of? If so, what? don’t like to show off but plenty

What is everyone else in your house doing right now? mom is in the bathroom ^^” her phone is calling but I won’t pick up

Give me your brief definition of love. it’s complicated

What is the most beautiful part of the human body, male or female? hmm...

Do you like having your ear nibbled on? it’s a weird feeling

Look down. What do you see? notes What is a subject that makes you uncomfortable? uh oh...

What is a subject you can talk on and on about and not get sick of it? it seems that dreams, OSDD/DID, my book, illnesses/diseases (those I literally got sick of lol) lately

Has anyone ever walked in on you naked? yup

How do you feel now about the first person you ever dated? funny that you mentioned that today! I met my pre-school bf in the store, last days I often see him, we say HI and wave like kids to each other since middle school when he became less VIP if you know what I mean, I don’t feel anything, I definitely wouldn’t date him now, sorry, but he is not a bad guy

What is something that needs to be invented? cure/medicine

What always makes you burp? my IBS and GERD so all kinds of food can and not just food

What are you doing tomorrow? I plan to meet with my gf

When was the last time you were in pain? Did you take a painkiller? constantly, more or less

What was the last question that someone else asked you? I believe that my mom asked me about best time to make soup?

Does your father have any hobbies? What are they? cross stitching and reading mostly

What did the last face mask you wore look like? not applicable

Is there a specific song that you always request at parties? What is it? I don’t request songs :o

What was the last thing someone said or did, that made you chuckle? K. said he doesn’t like kpop

Who was the last relative you visited? I didn’t visit relatives for months

Do you own a hairdryer? What color is it? black and silver

Did you say ‘goodnight’ to anyone last night? mhm

Does anyone ever comment on the appearance of your handwriting? that it’s ugly...

How old were you in 1997? 5

When you hear songs about love, does it make you think of anyone? obvi

What were you doing an hour ago? eating?

Has anything fallen out of your pocket at any time recently? almost

Did anything disturb your sleep at all last night? oh well...

What kind(s) of Facebook groups are you active in, if any? just one

Do you enjoy any herbal or fruit teas? What kinds? used to

Are you currently wearing anything grey? yasss

Is anyone in your family currently pregnant? luckily not

Do you have any specific plans for this weekend? my dad’s working so I stay home

What’s the farthest you’ve chased an ice cream truck? we don’t have ice cream trucks in here

Did you get the ice cream? -

You can only bring back only one species out of extinction. What is it? moa, dodo or mammoths

Do you feel tempted to draw everywhere when you have a Sharpie? wtf

Did you see the trailer for “The Human Centipede”? hell no

Isn’t it ridiculously disgusting? that’s why I didn’t watch it

Should we stop the oil spill by filling the pipes with PlayDoh? wait what?...

Still have your baby shoes? doubt it

Do you act on impulse? very rarely

1 note · View note

karmanticmoved · 5 years ago

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1-85 uwu

j esus okay

1. describe yourself.

uh,, emotional ig, dumbass, quiet, exhausted all of the time, v queer, healthy mix of feminine and masculine, insecure, and not tha t great tbh. kinda a pussy ass b itch

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be?

idrk. maybe somewhere like a hella nice beach in another country, maybe somewhere in europe. i like travelling but i hate the travel to get there and have no money so i havent put thought into it. maybe hawaii or somewhere like that.

3. do you have siblings?

the one thats still alive is my half brother

4. what is your favorite constellation, why?

orion maybe bc i don't know a lot but i can see that one from my bedroom window even in the city n idk. its comforting. or scorpius cause i'm a scorpio

5. favorite color.

yellow, pink, or blue.

6. what kind of music do you listen to?

almost anything. whatever catches my interest.

7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome)

forgot what i said last time but those

yellow carnations i think?

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?

maybe smth to put myself to sleep immediately bc f uCk

9. favorite childhood memory.

my summer camp memories are pretty great. also memories of my dad and i going fishing are good.

10. have you ever been cheated on?

i mean in theory i couldve been bc online relationships but no. n im polyam and have identified as such for a majority of my relationships so no.

11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be?

big but not too big, yknow? like big enough that it can be filled and have room to walk around and lay on the ground or whatever but not Empty. and a pretty big bed to stretch out on, n a closet in the room. multiple windows w blackout curtains so theres light but it can be blocked out. n fluffy rugs or carpeting but preferably rugs in case smth spills so we can get it out of at least Remove the rug. and probably a cat tree thing in corner for dipper. n a computer desk and actual lights that light up the whole room. but probably,, fairy lights too bc full lights too bright. and i kinda want a pink room but blue or yellow work also. a nd pride flags on the walls + posters and various other stuff bc plain walls are boring. and tons n tons of b ooks too.

12. favorite animal.

river otter

13. what was the last photo you took of?

cat

14. do you believe in soul mates?

i'm not sure. i do kinda think there are people who you will like. really really click with and who become so important in your life that they're like. apart of u yknow? but i don't think that anyone as an individual needs to keep those people in their life forever. they arent destined to stay with them, and they shouldnt force that relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, or whatever) even if they were close for years and years. screw destiny. youll have people you care about, and sometimes you have to break that bond to save yourself, and thats okay. there will be other people who can and will be just as important. that got kinda off topic skbsks. i don't think theres really like Destiny soulmates. but there could be like. soulmates in the sense of for however long we're together, we're soul bonded. even if its not forever. does that even make se nse skbsns

15. do you hang toilet paper over or under?

over is the one thats socially acceptable right

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.

idk theres a place near a movie theater closeish to my house and its a nice little cafe and i dont eat there bc i dont eat much in general but i get their bubble tea and i love. raspberry bubble tea w rose popping bubbles. its comfort drink.

17. do you believe everything happens for a reason?

no. sometimes shit happens for no reason, and its bullshit, but you can't reverse it, so you gotta figure out how to move on from it.

18. guilty pressures?

im assuming thats meant to be pleasures

umm,, idrk. i don't know what exactly i like that would count as a guilty pleasure so,,

19. favorite mythical creature, why?

merpeople are s o cool i fuckin. love funky aquatic pals hell yeah. maybe im just Water babey but. they're rad. dragons are also hella cool bc like dragons???? theyre scaly and prett y and can breathe fire or have wings and kill u?? also like selkies bc again. water. but i used to hear a lot of stories abt them and theyre so nea t

20. something most people don’t know about you.

i have the potential to be a huge asshole and also kinda Wish to fuckin murder someone sometimes but. i act nice most of the time anyway.

not murder murder but i can get angr y enough that i just wanna Stab smth

21. where did you grow up, what was it like?

grew up kinda near the edge of the city, still in it but not like the main city area. in western washington. it was kinda rly boring, i used to spend a lot more time outside or just by myself playing with leaves or toys or whatever. when i had friends i played make believe w them even when outside of school. so yeah. boring id say.

22. do you believe aliens exist?

sure.

23. what was your last google search?

other than names for some actors n stuff, i was looking up various star wars things

24. what did your last relationship teach you?

the one that like. ended? i guess thatd be. be careful with your own feelings and try to figure them out before jumping into anything, and also don't try to force smth that in reality isnt really working.

25. would you relocate for love?

honestly yeah

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy?

both. it just depends on how badly i or someone i care about was hurt by it. more likely to hold a grudge if a friend was hurt by someone d eep enough to leave a lasting impact or if they don't get a genuine apology i will be 🔫🔫. or if the person keeps hurting them. even if that person is also my friend.

27. favorite book.

favorite graphic novel is bloom by kevin panetta

favorite books in general are autoboyography, more happy than not, and what if its us. all gay. i know. its okay. im a kinnie.

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert?

introvert by far

29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now?

i tried once. i probably will have to once i go see a therapist, or at least one for my Bad Thoughts

30. top 5 favorite movies.

in no particular order

little shop of horrors, love simon, coco, it (2017 and 1990), and shazam! ig? maybe others but i definitely Forgot all the shit ive watched

31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

32. what is your greatest fear?

definitely gotta be all of the people i love hating me and abandoning me or secretly hating me and then leaving me without saying anything. and the worst part is im always afraid its gonna happen babeyy

33. favorite alcoholic beverage.

im baby

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done.

im embarrassed by my own existence. i don't remember the Most embarrassing thing

35. do you believe in ghosts?

not until i have proof that i can actually trust and believe in

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality?

idk ig im nice. but im also. very easily set off on certain emotions especially the bad ones which sucks like especially jealousy bc i dont wanna!! feel jealous!! tho i think that ties into my greatest fear bc my brain immediately tells me im useless to everyone and they hate me. but. sometimes i get jealous and then feel bad for that and then hate myself for all of it. bc my friends deserve to hang out w other people and care about other people im just fucking stupid babey !!

37. should you split the dinner bill?

i rly don't get why you wouldnt tbh like if u both wanna be there u should both pay. but if one person gonna pay it should be the person that asked.

38. are you a good liar?

most of the time. when it comes to my mental health i can either lie great or im literally breaking down in front of the person so

39. what keeps you up at night?

depressing thoughts. anxiety about everything. wishing i could cuddle and fall asleep w jay. sometimes i just cant sleep bc im too restless.

40. would you rather go without your phone or music?

music. i need my phone to text my friends and i Need my friends

41. do you believe in god?

what god would let the world get to the point its at. what god would allow people to do such fucked up shit.

no. i don't.

42. how do you relax when frustrated?

cry, take a nap, take a shower, listen to music, cuddle dipper

43. what’s something that offends you?

when people go "oh yeah i support gay rights but im still gonna eat at chick fil a bc its good" like i get so fucking. pissed off by that. youre not gonna fucking s ta rv e without their goddamn chicken. i know a bi person who goes there and says its okay bc they dont Directly Give Their money to Specifically anti gay organisations but im just. ugh. fucking pissed bc there are other places to get food just avoid the one place for fucks sake. their food is good it doesnt matter. its like saying yeah pewdiepie is a bad person and nazi and a racist asshole but his videos r funni haha so im gonna watch him anyway

44. favorite food

i hate myself whenever i eat food

45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be?

@destinedformuchmore or @pinaplelee

46. when do you feel the most confident?

never? but ig i feel confident when working on tech construction during theater tech. as long as i know what im doing.

47. what do you do in your free time?

sleep. draw. cry. play video games. talk to my friends.

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect

matpat did for being a dick abt neopronouns and making a transphobic joke and only apologizing when a cis person told him to. not when hundreds of trans people did. and also other jokes that are inherently offensive to various groups. a n d for making extremely not Child friendly jokes in his videos which are very much targeted towards kids. say what you will about the target audience, there are a lot of children who watch them. please stop making creepy nsfw jokes if you won't even swear, sir.

49. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i guess so yeah. but she also broke mine first.

50. did/do you play sports in school?

i did. i don't anymore bc highschool sports are bullshit but. basketball, ultimate, and soccer.

51. when are you happiest?

talkin 2 jay prolly

52. coffee or tea?

tea

53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without?

my binder. or my stuffed cat puppet thing ive had since i was 7

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?

their general emotions, mostly. like if theyre in a good mood or if theyre bored or distracted or whatever. or if they seem interested in actually talking to me

55. what is your favorite season, why?

fall. my birthday, the atmosphere is nice, it's pretty, its hoodie weather.

56. what makes you laugh?

stupid little comments or jokes my friends make tend to make me laugh a lot harder than i should but jabdn

57. are you a clean or messy person?

a mix. i Cannot have some things messy or i will ksjqkd. Die but i don't make my bed too often bc its ha rd when its against 3 walls.

58. what is important for a successful relationship?

communication communication communicati

talk about ur goddamn problems n keep talking to each other.

59. what was your upcoming like?

if thats supposed to be upbringing

idk, very relaxed. pretty easygoing and kinda boring.

60. favorite holiday?

any holiday in december rly. i don't celebrate a Lot but the atmosphere and others celebrating is nice to see. i kinda wish my parents did more to embrace the jewish part in our family blike. whatever. christmas is fun.

61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?

give half of it to my parents. and then probably use it for plane ticket

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?

hawaiian pizza. pinapple n canadian bacon ty

63. favorite outdoor activity.

frisbee

64. how are you? honestly.

not great. i want highschool to end.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?

idk. camping is fun but if i get to stay at the resort for free i would rly love 2 stay at a resort tbh ive never done that

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?

waterfalls. or rivers or just. water in nature. and very green forests. aNd snow.

67. favorite type of candy?

none

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?

i can and will do arson, an autobiography

69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases?

i quote john mulaney and whatever my obsessions are pretty regularly

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?

silly bandz. pokemon cards. these weird unicorn figures i collected

71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on?

im mostly the one having the weird conversations

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?

i watched one about dogs and cats and their evolution which was lit

73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had?

when i let the lady just go fuckin ham on my hair bc i was watching spirit that horse movie and didnt wanna stop so it was. rly bad bangs and hella short in back but not the sides

74. what do you like to cook?

whatever im hungry for. i don't have the energy to cook a lot

75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild?

really pretty tropical fish

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?

idk. i rly like schitts creek its pretty amusing

77. do you usually follow your heart or your head?

heart at first but my head if things get bad

78. what is your favorite quote?

"i have a splitting headache and i think i'm dying. how are you?"

or a character just saying "try harder" when another failed to do smth.

this is supposed to be deep or whatever but im in a Mood

79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had?

once had a crush on a character in a minecraft parody lmao

80. what’s your love language?

sending shit that makes me think of them. n just. making tons of stuff for them both online and irl like bracelets.

81. do you ever feel alone?

oh yeah. all the time. im not but it feels like i am which sucks

82. ever been bullied?

yeah

83. are you usually early or late?

late bc of my parents rip

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?

drawing, or writing. also theater.

85. what do you wish you knew more about?

i just wish i could remember everything ive learned more about. i know a lot i just forget all.

id like to know more about forensics tho

#asks #long post #friends

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chanzicoup · 7 years ago

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A/N: I got this template from tenseoyong and I could not find the original creator to give proper credit to. I was waiting for someone to FINALLY request this for V. Like he's the most fatherly (?) of them all in my opinion!!! And he's all in for having 3-5 kids so don't even fight me there.

A = Announcement.- How do you tell him and the world that you’re expecting?

You didn't know you were pregnant until you were about four months in. It was rare but it happened for you two and you had felt no symptoms the entire time. He'd be so pumped for the arrival of twins but he's lowkey stressing because he feels like he has less time to prepare and that he "lost four months."

B = Books.- Did he read the books?

He doesn't read the books and he never will. He's more like a 'wing it' person so he'll go with the flow of things. Somehow he knows everything about the process of birth??? Did he study this before or something bc he really knows his stuff?!?!

C = Cuddles.- Who cuddles the baby more?

He definitely would. He's just so happy to finally have a little version of him and you running around. Whenever he holds the baby he daydreams about things they'll do together. Until he gets soft when it's time for them to go to school for the first time, leave for college, get married and oml take the baby away from him he's crying and smiling at the same time.

D = Daddy.- His reaction to being called Daddy and it setting in.)

You know that gummy smile? Exactly his face when he's called 'daddy' for the first time and it's not in bed ;)))

E = Empty.- Who goes to the store when you guys run out of supplies?

He would volunteer to babysit while you go out but when you come home with your arms full of bags he'd scold you for not letting him help. He didn't know you all needed that much and if he had known he would've went along to make it easier for you.

F = Feeding time- Who does feeding time?

He's all for it. Pretending the food is an airplane and the baby's mouth is the airport. Little plane noises and loud cheers when the baby eats well. All him.

G = Grumpy baby. - Who is better at dealing with a grumpy baby?

There are just some times a grumpy baby can't be calmed so you two go back and fourth to try and but your baby back to sleep while the other is doing something productive like cleaning, laundry, sleepinggggg.

H = How?- how many kids does he want?

"3 if we don't have time but 5 if we do have time" my ass. V wants at least five but that's probably not going to stop him from having more.

J = Jokes.- best dad joke?

Probably stole it from Jin but its, "What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee fish!!!"

K = Kisses.- His favorite place to kiss the baby.

He kisses their hands while they are laying on their back and he's just tickling their stomach and they giggle so loud; it's just really cute how v and his children are so close.

L = Little.- How he feels when he holds the baby for the first time.

Literally his world freezes and all he can focus on is his first born in his arms; how they instantly stopped crying when the doctor put them in his arms, how tiny they really are, their hair, eyes, nose, mouth, their teeny tiny fingers and toes. He soaks it all in and he'll never forget how the baby looked. Not even when he is old and frail.

M = Mommy.- what does he call you?

V would definitely call you "momma" along with the baby but he'll bump up the couple pet name game a lot bc he falls in love with you more nd more everyday and the kids are absolutely disgusted by how much skinship you two do. Like V is always hugging you from behind and kissing your cheek and he'll kiss your lips when the kids groan how gross it is when he kisses your forehead. A smirk on his face.

N = Nappies.- who deals with the really bad diapers?

It's all a team effort. He'd act like a doctor in surgery, even pulling out a face mask if it was that bad. You'd hand him the diaper, wipes, etc. when he asked for one; like an assistant would. Lowkey it's just really funny watching you two do childcare because it's always fun for you guys and you make a game out of it.

O = Onesies- Who likes to dress the baby in ridiculous outfits?

He will make sure his kid is fly as hell, but you draw the line at a gucci belt. Why would a baby need a belt???

P = Pet names- names he calls the baby.

"Chubs" bc of their chubby baby cheeks that grandma's love to pinch. Each kid gets a new nickname, one that relates to their personality, traits, etc.

Q = Questions.- How many questions does he ask the nurse?

He wouldn't ask the nurse anything, the only questions he have he'll ask his own mom. She did such a good job raising him and his siblings why would it be different for his own child?

R = Rely- what is the biggest thing you rely on each other for?

(This one is always so hard for me to write for idk why but it is) Ok so I guess you both would want the other to side with you on how to raise your child? Let me explain a bit. Let's say you tell the kid 'no' about something but then the kid goes to v and he says 'yes' to whatever it is. You two want to be on the same page as the other and want proper communication through out the entire family.

S = Sleep duty. - who gets up when it’s really late at night?

Teamwork makes the dream work. You both would take turns but if for some reason one of you is sleeping through the baby's cry the one that is awake will so it. Let's be real one of you will wake the other up and plea that they do it.

T = Trepidation.- fears as a new parent.

He'd be really nervous about saying the wrong thing here and there and scaring the child in some way. He'd be looking at the big picture about everything, how his actions now could affect his child's future. He really just worries his child will be unhappy because of him.

U = Ultra sounds.- His reactions to the ultrasounds.

He points out the baby before the nurse does and she's just like "Okay no one ever sees the baby first bc it's difficult to see but I guess this dad has some super powers or smth" and he marvels at the photos for weeks, printing extra out just to give them to his managers, the other members, his family. And if it's around the holidays, the baby's first picture is being printed on to Christmas cards.

V = Values.- what is the most important value he wants to teach your child.

One of the many things he hopes his children take from him is that he doesn't want them to have to depend on anyone for anything when they grow up. He wants them to have their own backs and to be able to take proper care for themselves for when he is gone and can't do it for them.

W = Water.- Who gives the babe the baths?

Man V is in the bath with the babe in a pair of swimming shorts and washing his and the baby's hair simultaneously. He has no other time to shower since he's busy being a dad and a celebrity at the same time.

X = X-mas- what do you guys plan for the holidays?

It would really depend on how old your baby is or if you were still pregnant. If you were still preggers he'd prefer to stay at home, just in case the baby wants out. But if the baby was a newborn he'd also prefer staying at home, his first Christmas with his new family would be special to him. but if the baby was more like a toddler he'd go and visit your and his parents, letting his son or daughter run around with their cousins whom they only met for the first time that same day. Either way he wants to get professional pictures done and they are hella cheesy at that.

Y = Yelling.- How many fights do the two of you get in?

It's not like loud arguing fights but when you guys are mad at each other you guys only talk when you have to. It sucks for V bc he values communication but when the baby is there he doesn't want to argue in front of them. If the fight started in the beginning of the day most likely it'll end at night when the baby is asleep and you guys are talking quietly in bed, trying to figure out the source of the problem. He hates going to bed angry so it will get resolved or else he is not sleeping a wink that night.

Z = Zoo- How crazy is the house after the birth?

It's just a mess. Somehow there is baby food on the ceiling. Dried wipes are everywhere. Toys all on the floor. It gets even worse when the baby learns how to walk.

~Blake

#bts #kpop #bts v #bts imagine #kpop imagine #bts reaction #kpop reaction #bts scenario #kpop scenario #kim taehyung

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bnha-imagines-hcs · 6 years ago

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oh no im curious about these sex pollen hcs. hit me up with some aizawa please if you want to and haven't already, whenever you have time?

( of course i had in mind some desperate guilty sex when i posted that, but it never wanted to write itself bc: aizawa wouldn’t. he just wouldn’t. so instead, have this sfw hurt/comfort thing – that is half summarised bc i didn’t wanna write everything out ❤❤ . )

| aizawa; drabble & headcanons.

it wasn’t even a quirk.

the sex industry, as always, is booming. tech levels rise through the ages and as man’s ability to mimic nature leaps ahead… we get a hold of that long sought-after aphrodisiac.as with any drug, it’s sold in degrees of potency - the most debilitating ones not commonly found anywhere but at the black market.

it wasn’t even an attack of any kind. just a fun game, let’s try this shit out with your friends - spice up a night of clubbing. someone had gotten hold of it somewhere, and fuck but they should’ve asked where.they didn’t. underestimated it; caution wasn’t enough.

weak. everything is so loud, so bright, so invasively intense– a lamppost’s dim light cause for skull’s pounding and the door’s slippery slick plastic like a hyperactive second skin.

not what you might call sexy.

and yet. of course this demonic fucking drug doesn’t give a shit– everything is aching. joints and muscles from the constant strain, head from the fucking stress and core because for the love of all that is sane, there needs to be something in there or around there.

“sh-shou-t-t-ta- fuck -please open the door- fuck please be home,” knocking has little result when it’s a jarring slide of skinskinskin on wetslipperywaterplasticyskinskinskin that renders their knuckles powerless. they slip sideways, flop against the bell until it finally ringsloudLOUDFUCKINGLOUD.

the tremor in their limbs is a racket, something that drives up through all the senses- then finds it’s got nowhere to go, ricochets off every thought and turns emotions into nausea.

christ. are you supposed to take a single grain of this shit-? it’d been dust, fine and easy to sprinkle into the foam that topped one beer, the fizz of someone’s coke. those combos a good idea?evidently not.were you supposed to take that shit at all? was it not fit for consumption, or– oh god oh god oh god

it’s a god awful time, waiting for that second skin to peel away and leave them the fuck alone. thumping reverberates, an amplified ache, and then the door falls away and they with it.

“shit– y/n? injured or drunk?” god, he’s so sweet. nothing useful registers; just blacks and grey [ stubble ] and pale skin / dark rings under [ eyes ] – there’s way too much sensation pouring in through every shred of skin held near.at leat the long kiss with the fucking front door desensitised that a lil bit.

“…..shouta………..hm?”

“tell me your name.”

oh lord, he’s worried. a stumbled reiteration soothes that some, but certainly not by much.

“what day is it?”

“oh god, please don’t make me do that–” somewhere in the century that’s passed in hng shouta smell yeaaaahhh, there’s a click that casts out so much noise. rain’s obnoxious assault on the senses is cut short and they sag in [ arms ] distantly familiar.

“what day is it?”

“shoutaaa… i’ hurts- uhm, uhm, fuck issit wednesday? should be wednesday night, went t’ club.”

“partied with someone you don’t know?”

“nno.”

something high-pitched and short-lived arches into what’s roughwarmfirm. loud and bright and overwhelming all else; clean strokes of way too much / please more and the misery of begging for a cure.there’s a thumb at your mouth / but time passes too slowly and it’s gone ere you can lick it, pulling up eye’s lids until the hallway light is piercing. “–fuck, don’t do that!”

“where does it hurt?”

“everywhere-” you squirm every time he lifts fabric just to uselessly look at your skin / cry for the skittering itching need when sure fingers check wrist, elbow, the inside of your knee - nothing lasts, not even long enough to fully register. “please, shouta-”

“tell me your address.”

“–right here,” then, less obscenely, follows the street you stood out in the rain at, the house you’re in just to cling to his solid shapes.

“where are your friends?”

“home. cab. took it together.” right, that happened. feels like oceans of drowning ago.

straight-up emergency calls Recovery Girl. she comes by despite the pouring rain; was on her way and also,,, u gonna help a pal out. goes yeah that’s what it looks like (completely unaffectedly asks shouta to keep his girl from rubbing themselves on her pls), then gives y/n a tablet that’s a sleeping pill & against inflammatory stuff, and a tiny smooch to help recover quicker - but a tiny one, cuz y/n is gonna need all of her energy. ( no not for that ya sickos >8) )

y/n remembers all that scattered intensity finally drawing into a focal point as shouta lets her grind on his thigh (he cannot touch her he just fucking can’t - and he’s right not to. he is not aroused in the slightest lmfao christ) before everything just. fades to black in her mind. she was not lucid enough to register the sleeping pill at the time (only swallowing smth), but come morning she can piece it together.she’s exhausted. and she’s slept – aizawa, sitting in a chair and at a desk to support him with what smells like bitter coffee, looks like shit. y/n cries for him, because they know how personally he takes things, how he worries, how it takes him a while to stop blaming himself for shit happening to ppl he loves. she’s sorry for burdening him - even if he prefers it, she’s just sorry to put him on the spot like that anyway. she cries for the scare– she cries for what could have happened.

shouta’s already called all the friends that went clubbing with his s/o and notified local police - both bc wtf this drug?? in civilian hands?? and obv to make sure they got home safe, and if they didn’t he’d call a hero to go find them. he’ll be questioning the friend who brought the drugs, find out whether this was a matter of accident or of someone dropping bad drugs in innocent hands.

y/n demands he come rest– shouta’s more than relieved to be able to hold them in his arms now without feeling dirty, though he remains cautious of reigniting smth somehow. but the drug’s immediate influences have passed - now their body’s exhausted both from it and from working it out their system. y/n couldn’t be less horny rn, just wants to cling to him & make sure he eats, gd. they take charge of the situation, of shouta and his guilt. he’s called in sick btw- sick, bc not spreading their private business all over w/o at least giving them time to prepare for it; it may go public anyway if it turns out to be a bigger problem. – s/o says ok. you’re going to eat. i’ll eat a lil too if i can keep it down. you can check on me in between making it (s/o is not gonna get up yet, that feels Not Good), then we drink some water, then we lay down here and rest. shouta’s won over bc logic and bc please let him physically curl arnd them to protect and wash away the night’s horrors.

#aizawa shouta #shouta aizawa #bnha aizawa #mha aizawa #bnh aizawa #mha #bnha #bnh #boku no hero #boku no hero academia #boku no hero academy #my hero academy #my hero academia #bnha imagines #mha imagines #bnh imagines #sex pollen

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chikotos · 8 years ago

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speaking of That my mom is finally recognizing that when I say “i dont feel good” it doesnt mean i have a cold or sth its that Uh, im probably experiencing suicidal thoughts and cant express it well (or at least smth along those lines) and my house has been dirty cuz i havent cleaned in a while or i cant keep it clean and she n my sister cleaned an area and i repeatedly told her not to bc shes always using my sister to do things im not adequate enough to do on time and its rlly not fair to her even if she doesnt realize it cuz like shes only 12 & we dont ever even talk so she shouldnt have to take care of someone 5 years older than her.. and i was gonna clean but I basically slept all day so i could just clean alone at night when I feel safe to walk around the house . i wasnt even tired idk why i slept but now im eerily awake and maybe will be umless i force myself to sleep

its so lonely here and thats only hit me like this year cuz all the time before I would go through periods of hanging out after school maybe.. twice a year? and only hanging out with one person whod have many friends but theyd b my only friend which is a problem i tend to have. but it jst got to the point where im realizing, i think cuz i was in my schools drama program n exposed to lots of friendships, that im jst like ,really fucking lonely. Which is unfortunate because ive always been such an internal person at home and have been able to work creatively but thats all like leaving me? art doesnt make me happy anymore because i dislike my art so much and havent had a platform to share it in so long and i guess I thrive on other ppls opinions of it? and I definitely cant write anymore. I havent been able to zone in on an interest in MONTHS and thats left me creatively drained, a lot.

I think im starting to rlly, RLLY redirect my complete attention from interests to ppl (which always ends well am i right lads) and it isnt fair to ppl who like, have others and need space and time etc or Uh, dont even know me. but its like a switch like , I can either be creative or i can feel loved and Boy Howdy, do i need both,

its just weird cuz im the only one in my family thats emoitonal like this and I think thats why i feel so isolated. like im not exxagerating when I say my dad has 0 friends tht arent family. my mom has work friends she will hang out with maybe 4 times a year not for work, but shes always complaining abt social situations which I can understand. maybe my siblings r like that too but my sisters young n focuses on minecraft n stuff n hangs out w friends more than me n we barely know each other so its not like id know, maybe my half brother is but whens the last time hes wanted to talk to me right. like i cry all the time and all it does is make my dad angry at memfor being incompetent and make my mom think its her fault and my sister confused and jst takes up everyones time

and its jst all v strange. like i was kinda raised 2 not have friends, inadvertantly i guess. i can remember my mom trying to make me feel better about something along the lines of u can b okay w/out friends if u have family but she jst told me friends dont matter and im never gonna talk to ppl i meet at my age as an adult, so it stuck w/ me and i started to make moral judgements on ppl on small things we could talk out like say, they use homophobic language sometimes but im sure theyd respect me enough to stop, but id make those judgements before we could befriend each other n take a chance, kinda to protect myself from attachments? but later in life ive found ppl who dont do stuff like that, and thats when i focus in on them im an unfair way to them and they r the only person/group of ppl in my life, etc etc and idk how to stop because im so scared of hanging out w/ most ppl alone i guess? but ill still be here, thinking about like example (namedrop bc he doesnt have me tumblr anyways) my friend jacob tht never hung out w/ me outside of school but i fuccin loved that kid n he just stopped talking to me over the summer n ignored my text i send first day of summer and now we see each other and talk briefly but its like he wont let us be friends anymore and smth like this always happens and its So

and tbh how can i expect it to not happen when i limit myself so much n they will have plenty of other close close friends when i dont? and i think ive gotten better but idk anymore.

and uh, unrelated. I think my dog ive had for 12 years may have to end up being put down this year. hes got cataracts in both eyes and skin diseases and back problems and teeth problems (hes inbred) and hes losing his hearing too and for the past two weeks hes been peeing everywhere and we can let him out but he cant climb stairs anymore n he has to walk them to get to our yard and im the only one w/ the patience to pick him up (hes only 8 pounds) n put him in the yard bc my parents will jst scream at him n my sister doesnt like dogs and hes got seperation issues w me and whines when he cant be in my room which is the farthest from the door out n stuff. and its like rlly stressful my mom will scream at him in front of my sister n brother n me and the other day she said my dad grabbed him by the neck and threw him out on the concrete cuz he peed inside and hes so tiny that thats just gonna make everyting worse and its notmlike i can stop them bc why would anyone listen to me and hed prob b fine for s few more years if he lived in a patient house with ppl who would take him to the vet but theyre prob gonna put him down early snd its gonna b so weird w/out him

when i showered earlier i took s razor with me w/ the intent to cut my thighs, and i did a little, but i never ever draw blood wnd its strange. why am i given these urges when im so fucking terrified of blood. itll still leave marks n stuff but it makes me feel weak ? n ill bruise myself up instead but its never the same. and im such an advocate for help w self harm but i cant for myself. its like i subconsciously want 2 get caught ? idk. i did throw my razor away though and the others i have r rusty and im not THAT much of a dumbass so i dont have options to self harm anymore unless i get new ones. lifehack

and uh lol, having no schedule n it being summer my eating habits r SHIT. it always hurts to eat p much, its at different times n most of the time i just snck only or i dont eat for hours n see black spots n stuff. and when i dont eat its not a body image thing (im nt rlly happy w my nody but its not sth not eating will help with) its cuz i dknt wanna go upstairs for food where my dad is n the snacks r downstairs so its easier, or cuz i forget or cuz i like, want to punish myself? but im too lazy to self harm. its weird

n since ive stopped id’ing as ace officially my internalized lesbophobia has gotten so much worse . im so repressed and lost ans sad, nothinng rly makes sense? I either fall in love w/ anyone who flirts with me or i focus on someone who ill never fucking talk to or see again and imagine countless scenarios n set myself up to b sad. i seek validation from ppl on it but nothhing comes out right or i just cant say it, because other than when i make myself the butt of gay jokes i just cant sven get the words out of my throat that im gay cuz im jst so ashamed and disgusted with myself. ive been looking at pictures of guys lately cuz ive been trying to force myself to like them. back when i thought i was pan it always felt safer bc i could always just love a cis guy or whatever and everything would b okay for my family ykno. and its such a shameful thing for me bc my irl friends who im out to, most see me as v confident abt it at least a little bc im loud abt it u kno, and make all sorts of jokes, and i jst know so many would b surprised or like sad abt that

i want to stop liking girls so much. like holy shit. i have so many straight girl friends and i hate it when they flirt with me because lik, none r my type so i feel nothing but then i feel like i shiuld then feel like No i shouldnt then feel like i shouldnt even be around them bc im a gross disgusting creepo dyke predator. n they always use the excuse of me having a gf so its fine id never hit on them well like, now im single so i have to be DOUBLE careful not to b affectionate w them as im w all my friends and itsssssssssssssmjshfjhdjfhsjdhjshdjshdjhsjdhsjhdjshdk

and i like, think abt this girl alot n yea its romantic even thomwe never fucking talked n rlly i do that w lots of girls and its making me lose out on friendships bc i wanna b their friends somehow bc i think theyre very cool n stuff but i cant stop hodling on to stupid daydreams n idealizations i get to distract me when im sad n its jst stupid like i know its dumb but guess whos boutta keeeeeeppppp doin it??!!!!! boy!!!

and i try so damn hard to talk feeling out, n talk abt who im attracted to n stuff w ppl, n i try so hard to gush but i cant cuz smth comes outta my mouth and then i cant speak past that and no one ends up rlly knowing how i feel, bc ANY time i talk abt anytingngay related abt me its what happens. and i listen to others talking abt tht stuff and i jsut get so god damn JEALOUS bc idk how to express myself

all these inadequacies n shit is making it rlly hard to see how,im gonna b on my own n its always been like this. at TWELVE YEARS OLD i came to fhe fucking conclusion that i was just gonna kill myself when i turned 18 so i didnt have to deal with all this and i was OKAY WITH IT and i just went through life knowing that and hiding it and so rarely questioning my inevitable suicide as a childc so instead of dealing with all that n my problems n getting better i let myself get worse cuz uh, fuck it right

idk its all just occured to me how im not a fully functioning human being, in seberal if not all aspects of my life, its weird. now that I actively want to live and realize i uh Kinda have to simce ill b the legal guardian of my brother its all very scary

sorr i was all over the place and all the typos i didnt mean anyof them n im not crytyping like, i cried a bit but i jst hate typing kn thsi shitty tablet keyboard, n dont wanna spellcheck. if u read through comgratulations also please dont message me abt like the self harm junk n my dog n stuff like, whatever ur abt to say. I Know my guy

time to go uhhhhhhhhhhh daydream about impossible gay shit with guilt in the back of my mind

#personal #animal abuse/#self harm/#other stuff probably i guess #nya #its long uhh full disclosure i sjt wanted to feel like i was talkin 2 someone nyall can ignore this

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