#i need to start naming these bitches ...

[butchrindou]

need to draw baji and rindou as bffs tbhhh i feel like they’d get along but it would take a while also literally because i have some music baji would listen to in my rindou playlists but who said that.. must’ve been the wind

[thalassic-p4rk]

im sorry.

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

NaNo 2024: Victory!!

Hello, world, here's my tidied desk in the aftermath of FINISHING ANOTHER BOOK!!! It took me EXACTLY four (4) pens this year (I was literally writing my wrap-up stats in the back of the notebook when the in on the last one started to go!), on 82 pages across two (2) notebooks, and preliminary* word count is 71,541!! (*subject to change once typed--I count by hand and tweak as I type haha.)

Also featuring: the NaNo Earrings, Volumes 2 and 3 of the Bitch Journal (where I whine about writerly things and also Reflect On My Process--I learned very much this year and got a lot of dopamine from it!!), the tiny watch that kept me company in my tertiary writing space, the earplugs that made working at home Tolerable (mostly), and some of the frantic scribbles on scrap paper (I got a LOT of mileage out of a dead receipt that Panera misprinted for me lol).

Now, onward to TYPING!! I would love for this not to take most of December, so I'll probably have more Unhinged Goals About That (I don't know why I am the way that I am), but! The hard part is done!!

[motor-city-selfryed]

cant wait to be old as shit rocking in my rocking chair at the nursing home as my grandkids sit around to listen to me talk about punkintyre

[gnc-tits]

any company that advertises itself as specializing in “transmasc clothing” is so full of shit if any of yall buy jeans for 99 dollars bcoz obviously as a beautiful afab you need clothing accomodating of your voluptuous hips and thighs then im sorry but you are a little poser bitch and an idiot. 99 dollars for jeans like fuck offffffff you cannot convince me that theres not a mens cut of jeans that fits you. 99 dollars. fuck you

[constelationprize]

any stuart crumbs for us tonight?

I haven't really worked on it lately because I've been trying to focus on the fest fic (and coming up with a million other wips on the side to distract me from the fact that I cannot for the love of me get that fucking opening right). Buuuut here's a snippet from the funeral scene:

I feel like Neil and Stuart's relationship has a lot of potential, though it doesn't really get explored past the basic on this fic (at least not in my plans). I don't think they could ever see eye to eye in any universe that was not drastically different, and there is something to me that just feels right about this limbo they settle on, where Stuart is still protecting Neil from a distance but neither of them really have anything to do with each other, kind of like a mafia guardian angel. They both had one thing in common, and it was Mary, but even then she meant very different things to each of them. Now that she's gone, though, they remain connected by having been two people that loved her – and I think that does impact the fact that they won't let their relantionship evolve past being Mary's brother and Mary's son, as if they are preserving some part of her by refusing to let those versions of each other go, and allowing themselves to get closer as who they are now would shatter that illusion.

Also, I went through the last book and in his appearences after Baltimore, Stuart doesn't call Neil by name (granted, they have only one on-screen conversation), and in Baltimore, he calls him Nathaniel and not Abram – so though I do think Stuart refers to him as Neil in their conversations, in his mind Stuart will always think of him as Nathaniel. Because I think that while he doesn't resent Neil personally for it, Stuart is very aware of whose son he is.

(In a similar way, Stuart thinks of Ichirou as Ichirou even though he refers to him as Lord Moriyama most of the time before they get closer, because I do think fitting that a British man has some bones to pick with the class implications of the Moriyama's hierarchy and no one is stopping him from being blatantly disrespectful inside his mind. There is a pretty good case to be made in canon for the fact that Stuart doesn't really respect Ichirou at all even if he knows to fear him and that's a very fun balance to navigate).

It was also pretty fun to describe Andrew from the perspective of someone who is soooo indifferent to his existence. He's just a little guy to Stuart.

There's probably more I could say but I should really sleep now. So... Bone apple teeth?

[jinxpologist]

weird question: has anyone experienced going on hrt and your dysphoria getting noticeably worse? i’ll have to wait like a month to see if this is a Certified Issue or just a for the moment thing (on my period lol) but im curious to see if it’s something anyone else has experienced

[wabblebees]

just finished the new fantasy high episode and havent seen anyone talk abt this so i wanted to say i am 100. one HUNDRED PERCENT sure. that fuckin fourdogs was at that party invisibly (the One And Only buttfucker to NOT make an obvious appearance?? rules-follower or no, i dont believe that for a SECOND) and that she stole the piece of the cloud runner that went missing, and that the moment of her swipe was the "something" riz missed on his check -- i also really *hope* it wasn't oisin that made those damn ice mephits (or "muffets" as my beloved drunk adaine christened them lmao) act up like that, but immmmm pretty sure thats exactly what was goin on since it wouldve given his party member advantage/an easier access point :/

[la-principessa-nuova]

I definitely need to come out at work bc somehow I end up being dysphoric about any time I'm doing well and feeling confident and staying on top of things.

I think it's because I'd been feeling so burnt out and small at my last job, and so when I start to do better again, it feels like I'm going back to my "old self",

amplified by the fact that being on top of things often means messaging a lot of people and posting a lot of things that have my deadname and old photo on them

and at least a little bit by the association of confidence and assertiveness with masculinity, especially in a work environment, even though I know that's patriarchal bs.

And there's definitely an aspect as well that I was very heavily masking before, and now I'm trying to mask less when it isn't necessary to reduce burnout, but I'm still self conscious about peoples' perceptions of me, and some of the lies about myself I've internalized are getting to me a little.

But I did a good job today balancing it. I just need to hurry up and come out so it won't be so painful to do these things (even if it does make it more difficult in other ways).

[bromcommie]

what if we worked as ranch hands together for decades and then you got mauled by a bear because I was drunk on the job because of the recent harrowing death of my young son and then I spent the rest of my days as a recluse taking care of you and exclusively spending my time with you while you lived on my ranch and continuously bitched at me about this bear as a metaphor for both of us getting back to living our lives and dealing with our grief. what if I finally did it by forcibly co-adopting my estranged daughter-in-law and the granddaughter I didn’t know I had with you and therein ended up experiencing the joy of family and community again. AND my up-until-recently-secret granddaughter called us two gay old cowboys to our face. and then me and her tried stealing the bear from a local zoo/circus for you but accidentally set it free instead because wink wink it’s a metaphor wink wink. what then

[stargazinglesbian]

being hyperfixated on my own ocs is like. great. i made up this fucking girl in my head and now im irrevocably obsessed with her and her freaky little friends. what the fuck do i do now. i haven't even written any of this down

[margaetyrell]

I’ll just say one thing tho bc it’s burning inside me in this bonkers world we live in - but it’s quite hard to dissociate when your fave artist finally sings your name just to call you out for the viper you’ve been

[ladyimaginarium]

i swear to g-d im& not even the jealous type but jfc i HAAAAAAATE this feeling when im& just lowkey like. who's :)))))) this :))))) bitch 👀👀👀👀🔪🔪🔪🔪 :))))))

[hollowaluminumvessel]

oh arthur you stupid son of a bitch. Why would you go INSIDE THE THE CITY MAN. ....... WHERE THE GUY ACTIVELY SEARCHING TO KILL YOU IS ......... ourgh bro please i know you love your daughter but you just escaped prison dude dont do this now

[badolmen]

Look at me. LOOK at me. Old growth forests are important. Their loss is violence against the land.

BUT that isn’t a reason to point at younger, perfectly healthy closed canopy forests and claim they’re ecologically insignificant or bad. Their sparse understory is a function of closed canopy forests. Even old growth forests will have sparse understories if the canopy is closed. That’s how photosynthetic strata works.

The west coast has vastly different forests and history than the east. The rare volcanic eruption that made the giant stands of Douglas fir in the west possible would be literally impossible here. Our species are adapted for stand replacing fires set by indigenous peoples to drive deer and rejuvenate oak. Oak as a genus is dying here. We can’t set fires. We can’t harvest patches large enough to simulate a fire. Our deer are overpopulated and browse down every sprout that dares to reach for sunlight.

Making a sweeping ban on clear-cut and similarly ‘scary’ harvests would kill them for good. The restrictions on fire have nearly done that to species like Jack and pitch pine that rely heavily on fire to establish. They’ve been relegated to pine barrens and the rare sandy forest clearing. Our fire Cherry, thankfully, can last decades in the soil seedbank. You can only see them the first few decades after a large, complete harvest and then they die.

What’s good for one forest kills another. Not all trees are made ecologically equal - and that’s a very good thing. All trees and forests have their ecological value. Management of one forest is never applicable to other forests; they all have their own unique histories and communities that should be imitated when possible and left alone when not.

[sapphire-weapon]

OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE CHRIS JUST KISS HER