#i need to reread the full battle

[caelivir]

rayne ames relationship hcs (part ii)

— WARNING: creepy behavior from a guy but that’s it

— author’s note. i feel like the author’s note from when i posted this doesn’t apply anymore, but anyway, this is part two but isn’t actually because i lost the first part when i accidentally deleted my account… again im so sorry. ALSO!! the writing is a little different bc i’m cringing rereading my old stuff. (how did u guys let that slide)

— HUGE HUGE HUGE THANK YOU TO @mikadzukis FOR SAVING MY OLD HCS I AM INDEBTED TO U!!!!

rayne ames loves dates with you. he loves them.

but he especially loves picnic dates

you introduced him to the idea on one of his days off

you promised it wasn’t going to be draining because you knew being a visionary is a taxing job

so he agreed

and he loved it

spread across the red and white checkered picnic blanket are plates of grapes, cheese, and sandwiches. two goblets of iced tea rest on top of a wooden board so they can remain balanced.

rayne’s large hands support his weight as he leans back onto the blanket. the half-blonde cranes his neck to stare up at the leaves. rays of sunlight peek through slivers of space between them. a butterfly flutters its wings above him.

“rayne!” you call for his attention.

your lover hums as a reply before directing his eyes toward you, offering his full attention.

“i made something for you.” you speak, grabbing for another basket on the blanket. you lift up the cover, reaching carefully inside it. you pull out a cake platter and set aside the lid that protected the dessert residing on it.

“it’s a cake!” you continue with a smile. “this is the first time you’ve been off in a while so i thought i could make a cake to celebrate! i even decorated it with some bunnies!”

a small grin grows on the visionary’s face. he pushes himself up. rayne takes the platter out of your hand and gently places it on a free board on the blanket. you’re caught in surprise as his arms wrap themselves around your waist. his head finds warmth in the crook of your neck.

“thank you.” he whispers.

rayne’s protective of you

he knows you’re capable of fighting your own battles, but there are certain situations where he just had to take care of it

if someone’s saying things about you or harassing you, he isn’t going to tolerate that

the entirety of easton knows not to mess with you, because messing with you means messing with rayne, and no one wants to put themselves through that

he’s already scary enough as is so all it takes is a couple of threats for the person to leave cowering in fear

you wait outside of the café as rayne uses the restroom. people of all ages each other as they navigate their ways theough marchétte street. one of them approaches you, but it’s not rayne.

“so what’s a fine thing like you doing alone here in the street.” a guy smirks, trailing his eyes up and down your body. you shift uncomfortably. he’s definitely a few years older than you and inches taller than rayne. a single line cuts through his right cheek, indicating his level of magic.

you swallow down an anxious gulp before speaking. “i’m with my boyfriend.”

“tell me gorgeous,” the man’s hand travels down the path of your jaw. you’re disgusted by his touch. “does your boyfriend like to share?”

“i really think you should go.” you respond firmly, shoving the grimy hand away from your face.

the guy chuckles, raising his hands in defense. “no need to get aggressive, sweetheart! i just want to know!”

“and who the hell are you?” a familiar deep voice says from behind you. you turn around to discover rayne, and your eyes light up at his appearance. you’re well acquainted with the detachment and chilling coldness of rayne’s gaze, but now, there’s a fire behind them.

rage.

he’s pissed.

recognition becomes evident in the man’s face, and it dawns on him that he just messed with a divine visionary’s lover, but before he can retreat, rayne steps in front of you. he yanks your harasser down to your level. you don’t know what the half-blonde says, but it’s clear that it sparks fear into the features of the other man. once rayne’s finishes with him, he apologizes profusely before running away in the opposite direction.

the anger behind rayne’s eyes fade; they soften when he finds your gaze. “are you okay.”

you grin. “yeah, now that you’re here.”

rayne lets you wear his robes

whenever you hang out in his dorm, your first instinct is to go through his closet and take them

when you first did it, he was going to protest

but you looked so cute i. them that he decided to let it slide

you especially like wearing them when you nap

though you wearing his robes does pose some problems for him from time to time

“you’re late,” orter points out from his seat at the table. his fingers slide the frame of his glasses up his nose. “and where’s your visionary robe?”

rayne strolls past the desert came, not bothering to answer for his actions. he didn’t want to admit—especially to orter of all people—the reason behind his missing robe.

this morning, just as he was almost ready to leave for the divine visionary meeting, rayne realized that he was missing his robe. the half-blonde searched ever crevice of his dorm but to no avail. rayne sighed, reaching the conclusion that you accidentally took it.

yesterday, he had to run a quick errand while you were napping. upon his return, rayne discovered that you had left. you scribbled a message on a notepad, explaining that you didn’t want to keep intruding. you were probably too tired to realize that you had his war robe in your possession.

rayne could waste any more time making a trip to your dorm. it was a bit of a distance from his. the best decision at the moment was to let you have it and attend the meeting without it.

that is how he ended up in this situation, late and stuck sitting next to ryoh.

“y/n has your robe, don’t they?” ryoh teases in a whisper. for some reason, ryoh had discovered rayne’s relationship with you. whenever the two visionaries crossed paths, his senior never fails to mention you.

the sword cane doesn’t respond. “that’s a yes, isn’t it?” ryoh continues with a shit-eating grin. he pokes the arm of the boy next to him

rayne inhales. gods, he was not going to hear the end of this.

whenever you and rayne are apart due to his job as divine visionary, you communicate through letters sent by owls

he talks about the places he’s at and shit talks the people he doesn’t like

you tell him about you classes and how things are back at the academy, especially things going on within the adler dorm

and you occasionally give him updates on finn because you know deep down rayne cares about him

an owl lands on the sill of the open window of rayne’s temporary room. the animal clamps down on an browned envelope placed in its beak. rayne approaches the bird, and it drops the letter into his hands before flying off.

the mattress of the bend sinks under rayne’s weight when he sits on it. he unfolds the piece of parchment in his hands unsealing the envelope. his eyes scan down the letter that reads:

dear rayne,

how’s your trip? i hope nothing’s gone bad. things back at easton have been the same as usual, but it’s not that fun without you here.

classes are boring, but that’s nothing new. i might rip my brain out. i’ve been baking to try and cope. by the way, when you get back, you have to try this cheese tart i made. i had your brother and a friend of his try them. they seemed to like it a lot. i don’t know the name of the kid yet, but he wants me to make cream puffs next time. he says they’re a lot better than cheese tarts so you’ll have to try those too.

speaking of finn, he’s doing extremely well. he’s making lots of friends which is really nice to see. he always seems nervous to talk to me though. am i intimidating or something. i don’t think i am. unless you’ve been saying some things about me then i think we’re gonna have a problem…

gods, i miss you so much. come back soon. i’ll be waiting for you always. take care of yourself and don’t stress too much. i love you.

- y/n

p.s. please get me a souvenir. thank you! i love you, again.

rayne stands up, finding a sheet of paper and a quill. he pulls out a chair by a table. a slight smile flashes on the visionary’s face as he writes back to you—his home.

[thetriumphantpanda]

rainy days | frankie morales

Summary | It has never been your favourite day, but he always knows how to make it better.

Pairing | Frankie Morales x F!Reader

Word Count |

Warnings | Mentions of depression and sadness, negative feelings around birthdays, Frankie makes it all better, two idiots truly in love, allusions to smut but nothing explicit.

Authors Note | To my darling Jo, @undercoverpena - whilst this is my entry to your birthday celebration (I got the colour old rose, apologies for the tenuous link to brief you're about to read), it is also my love letter to you. To the woman you are. To the friend you have become. A love letter to the fact that you can be soft and emotional and have flaws and still be worthy of all the love in the world. Because you are. I have said it many times in recent days, but it is the truth, that I love you unconditionally and I am forever grateful for your friendship and love. I am here for you. I see you. I understand you. And I love you. Happy Birthday darling woman.

He knows it isn’t your favourite day of the year. One that is usually meant to bring joy and happiness and love is instead one that fills you with dread. Worried people would forget, having to force a smile at gifts that show that they really don’t know you at all.

He knows not to push it either. He’s good at that. Knowing the battles to pick and those to leave. You suppose that’s why you love him so much. The way he’s comfortable to sit in your hurt with you, not immediately jumping into fixing it, because it’s been years and you don’t think he could truly unravel everything behind the feelings. But he’s there, with a strong arm around you and a kiss to your forehead. It doesn’t need words, just his presence to say I’m here, I see you and I love you regardless.

It rains, because of course it does, weather to match mood, drowning out any hopes of the walk he’d promised. You distract yourself, cleaning mainly, even though the kitchen counters are spotless and the vacuum has been used more times in the past week than it has in the previous two years since you bought it. Distraction mainly, but now, with nothing to do, you sit. Listen to the fat raindrops and odd rumble of thunder. You reread the same four pages of your book, hopelessly trying to stop checking your phone for missed calls or messages of glad tidings.

The doorbell rings, startling you. Clad in a big jumper, leggings and socks, hair scraped back, you open the door, roar of rain rushing in, to find him standing there. Your man. Your Frankie. He’s soaked to the bone, t-shirt wet and cap dripping, but he’s smiling, both hands behind his back.

“You’ll catch your death, Morales,” you chastise lightly, moving aside for him to step into the warmth of your house, but he makes no effort to move, “Are you coming in?”

It almost makes you laugh when he starts talking, like a scene from the old romcoms you used to watch, but you let him do it anyway. His right hand moves first, a beautiful bouquet of flowers, a dusty rose colour, which he hands to you. They remind you of the paint swatches, the way he’d patiently waited at the store for you to pick it. And then painted eleven swatches on the living room wall until you settled on one. Old rose.

“Hermosa,” he breathes, “Feliz cumpleaños.”

He bends, warm lips to your cheek, finally stepping across the threshold into your home, the place he spends more time in than his own home, his other secret revealed in the shape of a basket, woven, with a telltale red and white gingham poking out.

“Damn the rain,” he says, “and damn this misery, I know we can’t have this outside, but I know you hate eating outside anyway.”

He holds the basket up to you, lets you open the top. It’s full to the brim with food, all of your favourite things from your favourite places you’ve been with him in the past year. Pastries from the coffee shop where you had your first date, fruit from the farmer’s market you visit each Sunday, sandwiches from the shop you always stop at when you visit him at work to make sure he’s eating - it’s all there, in black and white, the moments you’ve shared, tiny, edible pieces of his love and care for you, that’s he’s the first person to ever truly see you, to ever truly know you. It makes your eyes water and your nose sniffle.

You press up on tiptoes and gently slant your lips over his, trying to tell him without words how much this means, how much you truly do love him.

You spread a blanket on the floor, unpack the food and sit for hours, eating and talking and kissing, until it goes dark outside. It still rains as he clears up, lightening now illuminating the sky, it rains as he leads you upstairs and undressed you, and thunder cracks along with your gasps and moans when he buries himself inside you.

It eases late, after he’s woken you in the dead of night with his mouth fused to your cunt. Draped across his chest, silence, save for the two of your breathing, you realise that this is all you need. One man who will do the most for you. One man who will continue, day in and day out, that he truly loves you. Maybe it won’t fix the disdain for your birthday, maybe it won’t fix anything else, but it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that he found you and he loves you.

“Muchas gracias,” you whisper softly against his skin, “Te amo, mi amor.”

“Te amo, querida.”

[beaulesbian]

i'm probably pointing out obvious & what was said times and times again with luffy's connection to healing by food, but with the new chapter seeing how luffy literally took the food - especially meat - to get new strength - and how quickly it made for him possible to go back into gear 5,

i couldn't help but thought back to thriller bark - where luffy brought a whole barrel of drink to zoro, maybe thinking it could heal him immediately, like food heals him.

in the next day after the fight with moria, luffy is shown eating cheese but getting not enough strength from it:

(there's also interesting point to make here, that despite zoro taking luffy's pain/fatigue away, he couldn't take his hunger away, (ofc they're all hungry since it probably was some time since eating before that, but it's always a bit different with luffy's levels of hunger. as usopp points out - luffy is full of energy, but he's still so hungry like after every fight. despite all other signs of fight aren't really there..))

then, luffy learns that zoro still isn't up and from chopper in how bad of a condition zoro's actually in:

once the feast is in full swing, luffy isn't shown to be eating, but rather he brings the booze in the barrel to zoro to get better - because he's thinking it could magically and instantly heal him, like food heals luffy

side note - after rereading this now, the last few chapters luffy isn't shown even being near food or holding any drink, he hangs around brook and the piano, and learns about his connection to laboon, but even with sanji cooking just behind him, the ones who are mostly shown celebrating with food are franky, usopp, chopper, nami and the rest of the survivors

and it isn't until the very end, when they're all together back on sunny, and with zoro up, that they celebrate brook joining the crew properly with a toast:

---

of course, luffy healing from food isn't anything new. it just made me think about this from the recent chapter because it's the first arc i'm reading weekly, but also the intention of luffy knowing how fast the food will help him is nice to read.

previously the food was important for him usually after battles, or someone gave it to him, or it almost cost his life when he couldn't eat on time -

like whole cake island, it worked instantly

and now on egghead twice already too:

with the giant's helpful provisions lol

so in some way i feel it might have worked with zoro on thriller bark too, to a certain point - with the way they both woke up on wano & respectively yelled for booze and meat - that might have been the thought that luffy knew they were kind of similar - stubborn and simple in what they needed to heal.

[alliehew]

The Death of Violet’s Worldview

I just saw @nesta331917’s post about how Violet being unable to trust Xaden in Iron Flame makes complete sense and I just wanted to spit out my thoughts on that—and Violet’s characterization—because I completely agree!!

When I’m rereading I tend to fixate on Violet’s difficulty grappling with failure (to uncover the truth sooner, to save Liam, to protect her friends from the bitter truth & dangerous rebellion, to raise the wards in Aretia—whatever defeat she is internalizing at the moment) not only because I’m in this photo and I don’t like it, but also because it is such great characterization.

Violet previously protected the people she loves (and herself) by weaponizing the wealth of information she had, but now the very foundation she used to define herself has been ripped out from under her. Not only was she unaware of the reality of venin, wyvern, and the truth behind the attacks on Navarre’s wards, the entire rebellion that she (and her dad!! her favorite person!!) has studied and analyzed for her entire life was censored and propagandized by her government to shape public opinion and she was none the wiser.

For someone who is centered by facts, information, and truth, to learn that you’ve been on the wrong side of history at no fault—or choice—of your own is devastating. It’s a feeling of utter powerlessness and betrayal; no matter how many hours Violet had explored the archives, no matter how many times she reread the death tolls, maps, and battle strategies, no matter how ferociously she believed in the power of information, nothing could change the dismal reality that the truth was simply not accessible to her.

Not only that, but the discovery that her own mother was complicit in the death and destruction of entire provinces for the benefit of her country and children introduces a whole new burden of guilt and hypocrisy Violet didn’t know she complied with. Add in that (1) the man she’s just fallen in love with is leading a revolution against these terrors she knew nothing about, (2) Dain, Violet’s best friend since she was a child, stole her memories to aid in the hypocrisy of their government and nearly get her killed, and (3) her brother Brennan, whose death completely altered the fabric of her whole family and may have contributed to their father’s own death, is fucking ALIVE, and it’s the perfect (onyx) storm of disillusionment. Absolutely everything Violet held true came barreling down in a matter of weeks, and no amount of rereading or reanalyzing could mend the hurt or justify Navarre’s (and, from Violet’s perspective, her) lack of intervention.

Violet is selfless to a fault, and being misinformed about the horrors outside of the wards robbed her of her choice to defend the defenseless. Of course we saw her escape Basgiath/the “safety” of Navarre to join the revolution as soon as she could, but the feeling of failing not only those you love, but also countless others you didn’t even know were in peril is still so heavy. She also has consistently been targeted for being The General’s Daughter, and now the full implications of that association is branded on her like a third relic.

Of course Violet’s relationship with Xaden has been affected by the guilt, betrayal, and disillusionment that are ingrained within it, whether either of them has accepted it or not. Even if Xaden had nothing to do with the revolution and they were living happily ever after before graduation, once the truth about the dark wielders came to light and Violet didn’t know up from down I’m sure the identity crisis still would have (at the very least) strained their relationship.

Anyways.

I so desperately need Violet and Xaden to finally be able to finish their fight and figure out how to move forward while trusting each other.

Give Violet (And Xaden) A Break 2025, Pleeease Rebecca

[wordstome]

Endless Nights - Price x Reader

I started thinking about Sandman again because of Barry Sloane as Destruction of the Endless and went back to reread everything Destruction is in, including his Endless Nights story. Now I can't stop thinking about Price x archaeologist reader...

1.7k, please forgive any archaeological or military errors I only took like 1 anthropology class two years ago

You've been on all sorts of digs, but this has got to be one of the most chaotic. Your team's been sent to this peninsula to unearth some recently discovered artifacts. They think it's remnants of a little-known indigenous population, and it's your job to dig everything up safely.

Only problem is, there's a military base on top of it.

"Maybe it won't be so bad. Military personnel are good at following orders," your coworker says while you're unpacking your tools.

You snort. "Yeah, but they're equally good at putting holes in things and blowing things up. I don't think they have a lot of respect for fragile ancient artifacts."

"Ouch," your coworker says, wincing and putting a hand to his chest in a mock expression of pain. "No love for our nation's bravest?" You roll your eyes at him.

"It's not like that. I'm just saying we need to be vigilant about keeping them away from work sites. Take no shit, as it were."

"With the military? Good luck, I guess."

It's not that you dislike or even distrust every single person who's ever been in the military, it's just that you don't have much faith in their ability to hold respect for your work. Archaeology is quiet, meticulous work, a far cry from gunfights and kicking doors in. You're going to be here for quite a while, and if you don't establish boundaries right out of the gate, you'll be fighting an uphill battle for the rest of the dig.

That's what you're telling yourself as you sit in a gray, featureless meeting room. You and your supervisor are supposed to be meeting with a John Price, a British SAS captain. Kate Laswell, an American CIA agent, told you he's the proxy you'll be cooperating with during the dig.

You're prepared for all sorts of men to walk through that door: a balding middle-aged man with a power trip, or perhaps some blustering meathead whose voice no longer goes lower than a shout. Instead, the man that walks through the door and shakes your supervisor's hand leaves you staring, just barely keeping it together enough so you're not drooling with your jaw on the floor.

He's hot.

Your head fills with static as he turns to you and hits you with possibly the most endearing smile you've ever seen on a man. It's not just that he's somehow pulling off the beard and mutton chops look, or that his rough British accent is making you feel some type of way down there. It's the way he walks, like it's heavy—

"Pleased to meet you," Price says, shaking your hand. His hand engulfs yours as he gives it a brief squeeze. It takes your every last brain cell to answer with something other than Please tell me you're not wearing a wedding ring because you're actually single.

The meeting consists of him and your supervisor laying ground rules while you nod mutely and try not to audibly moan when Price adjusts himself in his seat, his hips moving in a way that is definitely going to undo you if you think about it too hard.

You walk out of the meeting having barely survived, but confident that the whole ordeal was a one-time thing. He's just who you complain to if one of the soldiers stumbles into a work site and smashes one of the artifacts, after all. You'll never have to see him.

Except you do. Every day, multiple times a day, he's there. He's obviously got his own shit to do of course, but it's like you can't get away from him: walk into a tent, and he's there chatting to one of your coworkers. Eat a meal, and he's there talking to a squad of soldiers and clapping someone on the back with a hearty laugh. Turn a corner, and he's there to full-body slam into you—

"Pardon me, sweetheart. Didn't see ya there." You're ashamed to say you don't do much more than stare at him with what must be the most pathetic petrified doe eyes as he gives you a pat on the shoulder and goes on his merry way. That was like running into a solid brick wall...

It would be fine if it were just you having a silly little unreciprocated crush. You've had those before and survived. But what starts to get to you is the little things: the way his eyes flick to you when you enter his vicinity, accompanied by a nod. The way his eyes linger on you for a moment too long before looking away. The brief touches against your shoulders or hips when he's maneuvering past you in a small space.

Frankly, it's driving you crazy, and it's starting to show.

"If you dust that piece any harder, you're going to damage it," your coworker scolds you. You all but jump backwards from the piece you're working on. You'd been so absorbed in mentally dissecting his body language the last time you were in the same room as him that you'd brushed the piece far beyond the point of being clean.

This won't do. You have to do something about this.

Mercifully, you've been given your own individual room to sleep in, which is quite the luxury after a career full of sleeping in dusty tents or sharing bunks with coworkers. It also gives you enough privacy to...take care of business, as it were.

Obviously, you didn't bring any "tools of the trade" that weren't useful for your work, so it's just you and your hand past 11 pm. You feel beyond perverted, slipping a hand between your thighs as you think of Captain Price.

You can still feel the weight of his hands on your body, brief though they were, and picture what else those touches could be doing. Your own voice slips out in a moan as you imagine his, low and grumbling yet soothing while he pushes you into the sheets, that endearing smile turned devious and devastatingly sexy as he spreads you open for him with those hands of his and collects your wetness on his fingers...

Your heart jumps out of your chest as you hear a knock at the door. You all but fall out of bed, scrambling to pull on enough clothing to be decent. "J-just a minute!" you call, inwardly cursing yourself for how breathless you must sound.

You answer the door, flustered and a mess, to see the subject of all your fantasies staring there. For a split second, you're petrified by the possibility of Price having heard your desperate whines and whimpers and knocking on your door to politely ask you to quit cranking it in his barracks.

"Apologies, sweetheart. Hope I didn't wake you up?" His eyes are so striking, so sincere, that you know he could have woken you up from the best sleep of your life and you'd still be unable to be mad at him.

"No no, I was...no need to worry. What can I do for you?" you say, relief flooding through you. Of course he didn't hear you. He's not a total pervert like you.

"Well love, I...it's probably best if you come take a look for yourself," Price says, looking almost sheepish. Your heart sinks a little—this cannot be good.

He leads you out of the barracks towards one of the job sites, directing you towards a table with several excavated artifacts laid out. "One of my men thought it'd be wise to steal his mate's torch, had him stumbling around in the dark out here. He says he bumped one of these tables and heard something fall on the ground, and I figured you should know right away instead of waiting 'til the morning and having all sorts of people tramping through here."

You give him a brief grateful look before crouching down with a flashlight. After a bit of looking, you find the missing object: a thick shard of pottery, lying forlornly on its side by a table leg.

You reach forward to pick it up, but the captain has spotted it as well, resulting in his hand landing on top of yours over the pottery. For a brief, dizzying second, his hand lays heavy and warm over yours, and you could have sworn that his fingers had shifted as if to take your hand in his.

In a blink, the moment's over, and the captain's hand shoots back to his side. Trying not to make an utter fool of yourself, you push yourself back up to a standing position, examining the pottery shard with a discerning eye.

"Looks like no harm was done," you say to him with a smile. "Mayday averted."

"Good to hear. I'll make sure the knuckleheads who did this receive a thorough dressin' down for this incident." You're grateful that the warmth rushing to your face at his stern tone can't be seen in the dark as you carefully set the pottery back in its place on the table.

"I'll walk you back to the barracks. Can't have my favorite archaeologist stumblin' their way around themselves, now can I?" You nod mutely, unable to look at him for much longer than a few stolen glances.

The two of you are quiet all the way back to your door, where you stand in the hallway, fidgeting with your hands and feeling the urge to say something, anything. "Thank you," you blurt out. "For not waiting until tomorrow morning. There's no telling what foot traffic would have done before we noticed the missing piece."

"Your work's important, love. And while you're here, you're our guests. It'd be rude to not be taking care of your work, wouldn't it?" You nod shyly, basking in the warmth of his attention.

You're frozen to the spot as he leans in to whisper directly in your ear, his lips brushing against it. "Next time you're relievin' a bit of tension, feel free to stop by my quarters, yeah? I think you'll find there's a lot more I can take care of than just your work."

Your eyes go as wide as saucers as he winks at you. Before you can even process what just happened, he's already walking away from you down the hall.

Feeling like you've just been handed some delicious and forbidden secret, you whirl around to shut yourself into your room, sliding down with your back against the door to sit on the floor. Did that truly just happen? Are you hallucinating? Or had you fallen asleep by accident and you're really just having some beautiful, delusional dream?

It doesn't feel like a dream when you realize you're soaking wet.

God, I cannot wait until Barry Sloane's Destruction promo images drop. For reference, these are the posters we got for season 1:

To be very honest, I wrote this like a possessed woman in the span of like an hour. I don't think there's going to be a part 2 unless you guys really get me going with some new ideas 😅

Also, I don't have a tag list (because I write almost exclusively for one particular Austrian), but I will tag my beloved @danibee33, and @ceilidho, as thanks for giving me Barry Sloane brainworms.

[morkaischosen]

you gotta explain the rachel squid thing. i mean, i get it on some level but i'd go with the rachel bear or rachel crocodile covers

Gladly!

It's not just the squid, is the first thing- really it's about the Squid Book. But it's the squid on the cover, and that stands in for all of this.

In Animorphs book 27, The Exposed, the crew acquire the form of a beached whale in order to get deep enough to acquire the giant squid form they'll need to survive the crushing depths of the sea and reach their objective. It's a Rachel POV book and I'm a Rachel girlie, so of course I was ready to do some deep dives (so to speak). So was Morgan, whom I was reading along with - this was a few years back, picking the series up as an adult after the half-dozen of them that I read (and reread) as a kid made such a strong impression on me.

The thing that really stuck out to me in the Squid Book was the way it seemed to be using its descriptions of the whale and the squid to echo something about Rachel.

My instincts were sure. Calm. Confident. I had no fear. No questions. I asked for nothing. I explained nothing.

The whale is bigger than all the anxieties she tries to be faster than or strong enough to endure; bigger than the fear of failure.

The whale did not fear what was going to happen. It hunted to eat every day. Someone would win the battle, someone would lose. The whale had accepted this fact since birth. I had not. Losing was not something I wanted to think about. This was not a situation where I could simply demorph if the whale was hurt. To demorph was to die.

That's something we see in a lot of Rachel's morph choices - in her own body she's all grace and elegance, a gymnast and a model, but rather than the liquid danger of Jake's tiger morph she chooses the size and power of a grizzly or an elephant; animals that are big and tough enough that they don't have to care about opposition for longer than it takes to push past it.

The squid was smaller, much lighter, basically weaker. But it had agility. And it had arms. I had a mouth. Imagine a fight between a gymnast, small but with full use of arms and legs, and a three-hundred-pound linebacker who can only use his mouth.

Gymnast, huh?

Someone was turned away from me. Another giant squid, floating, arms extended like some vile flower. I saw the mantle. My meat. I drew in water and expelled it like a jet blowing exhaust. I jetted forward! I drew my long arms up from the depths, coiling them and extending them toward my prey, moving them in what felt to the human part of me like slow motion. The other squid was unaware! Cassie? Was it Cassie? Who cared? Cassie would feed my hunger just as well as -

Rachel almost loses herself in that gymnast's violent urges, but manages to come back to herself when Cassie speaks.

Everything here comes back to Rachel's urges. There's a moment after Cassie's morphed Rachel in the crocodile book where she talks about Rachel being hardwired for recklessness; here we see the magnificent calm of being something too big to be reckless set against the swift gymnastic violence of something that kills without thinking.

And when Rachel takes that vast imperturbable shape and takes the battle to this animal mirror of her most violent self, she loses. She has to retreat or be lost, but Tobias - here despite his terror of the water, because he wants to be with her - has her back, beats the squid, and saves the mission.

The whole thing reads as metaphor for the battle between who Rachel wants to be - so self-assured that the anxieties she opens the book with roll off her - and who she's afraid she is, and it became my chosen shorthand for that internal struggle.

As the series goes on, Rachel loses herself to motion and violence, and it destroys her.

That's why, after I finished reading the series, this was the last message I sent to Morgan right before I went to bed:

That's why he gave me a print of the Squid Book cover; and that's why it's hanging on my wall.

[ham1lton]

Hi I really love your works and can't stop rereading them, you're such an amazing author.

Now I saw you were doing some prompts so I was wondering if you can do Kick Schumacher + 40

And have a nice day:)

040. a dusty antiques shop full of relics w/ MS47.

— part of a series of drabbles! <3

when your uncle decided to move to the caribbean with his wife, he left you his old antique store. it was in the middle of paris, and you needed a change from your old normal. making the move from your home country to paris was a big adjustment but you powered through. the shop wasn’t always busy but the occasional customer usually bought enough to keep the lights on.

you were reading one of your favourite novels when a blond guy stumbled in, probably seeking shelter from paris’ torrential rain. he was soaked to the bone as he stood up and saw you. he smiled and waved a hand. you nodded and went back to your book.

he started looking around the store but eventually, he walked up to the counter. his gaze on the book in your hands.

“nice day for reading, huh?” his voice carrying a hint of amusement despite the exhaustion in it. you looked at him, meeting his gaze with a polite smile.

“indeed it is,” you gestured at the rain-soaked streets outside. “perfect excuse to stay indoors.”

he laughed lightly, his eyes crinkling in the corners. “can’t argue with that logic.” then, after a moment’s hesitation, he added, “mind if i have a browse for a bit? i could use a distraction.”

“of course. take as long as you’d like. let me know if you need any specific help.”

one thing that you didn’t tell a lot of people was that the antique shop wasn’t a normal antique shop. over the years, you had noticed a pattern - the shop had a knack for attracting people who were grappling with their own inner battles, whether it was heartbreak, weariness, or simply a longing for connection. your uncle had always simply referred to it as "magic," but you couldn't quite put a name to it yet. that’s why you were able to keep the lights on, the shop didn’t allow time-wasters.

you wondered what brought him to its doors.

as the blond stranger continued to explore the shop, you couldn't shake the feeling that his presence here was more than mere chance.

you watched as he paused before a display of antique photographs, his fingers tracing the faded edges of the frame with a gentle reverence.

unable to resist the pull of curiosity, you approached him quietly. "finding anything interesting?" you asked, your voice soft.

he glanced up, his eyes meeting yours with a warmth that sent a shiver down your spine. "just looking at the stories these photographs hold," he replied, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

you nodded, a knowing smile playing on your lips. "they do have a way of doing that," you agreed, your gaze lingering on his face. "you know, some say this shop has a certain... magic to it. that it has a way of drawing in those who need it most."

his eyes widened in understanding, a silent acknowledgment passing between you. "i can believe that," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "there's definitely something special about this place."

in that moment, you felt a surge of emotion welling up inside you, a longing to share the secrets of the shop with this enigmatic stranger. and as the rain continued to patter against the windows, you found yourself drawn to him in a way you couldn't quite explain.

"i'm y/n, by the way," you said, extending your hand in greeting.

he took it, his touch sending a jolt of electricity through you. "mick," he replied, his smile widening into a grin that lit up the room.

and as you stood there, hand in hand, surrounded by the timeless antiques, you couldn't help but feel that perhaps, just perhaps, fate had brought him to your door for a reason.

[mudpuddless]

I saw a couple tags with king Halt AU and I am interested now 👀 (if you need someone to blab to about this)

okay. listen. i was rereading the early years and halt rescues duncan but refuses to call him highness and duncan gets mad, the canon dialogue is pretty much just,

halt: you-

duncan: YOUR HIGHNESS

halt : i preffer to be called halt, actually

(this is the base idea: this scene is doubly funny if halt were also crown prince)

so picture halt swimming back to shore after ferris tries to kill him and deciding actually he doesn't want this idiot in charge of his country.

halt has had about four years of ranger training on top of royal battleschool at this point and ships ferris of to the countryside, names Caitlyn as his successor to the throne and convinces his father that he should aide araluen (read: the rangers who kept pritchard informed) for diplomacy reasons.

his father thinks this will be a good lesson in war craft for the crown prince and sends him on his way.

halt and Crowley meet in the inn just like in canon while pritchard, who travelled with halt to araluen, makes his way to berrigan who was his main contact and then the plot kicks off (canon slightly to the left) halt is still halt but with the full authority of the clonmel crown behind him. he just doesn't tell people. surely this won't result in any silly situations.

big change might be that daniel, who still dies, asks halt to look for his wife, who is heavily pregnant and halt goes to find her, but presented with a baby who has no living relatives he knows of he just takes baby will and disappears him to Hibernia? Caitlyn loves her nephew. halt insist that will is not his son. will is absolutely his son and no one will be convinced otherwise.

halts father/ the king of clonmel declares Will fourth in line to the throne bc what else are you supposed to do when your heir goes to fight a war for eighteen months and returns with a baby. the king isn't an idiot, halt.

i want at least one scene where an invitation is extended to the Hibernian kings for princess Cassandras first birthday and Caitlyn shows up to represent clonmel and bonds with crowley bc they have a similar sense of humour (compatible with halt). crowley refers to halt only by "Arratay" and Caitlyn only by "my brother". they think the two should meet though crowley thinks halt doesn't know how to behave in the presence of royalty.

this would be even funnier if it was cralt/craltine (geometrically accurate love triangle my beloved) bc crowley is fawning over halt and Caitlyn unknowingly sets them up by encouraging crowley to tell his friend how he feels.

at least one scene would be halt and crowley visiting Crowleys family which is big and loud. halt is immediately a favourite of Crowleys kid sister who thinks he is the funniest person who ever lived. halt is stumped by this

the rangers are also 100% the queerest group of people in the entire country. berrigan and Leander are established and not subtle about it. at least one person is only referred to by ranger, never by any pronouns. this is never remarked upon.

the problem im still trying to figure out is how I can merge canon post TEY. halt returns to clonmel bc he has to check on his family and also bc, yk, the infant he now cares for and virtually disappears from araluen. crowley and pauline are upset bc they dont know what happened. this would be even funnier if this was craltine and they just had a highly emotional moment and then the final battle happens and suddenly halt is gone and no one knows where.

if this was really cracky they would tag along as security/diplomacy detail for duncan when he is invited to halts coronation but then again, we're not catholic so I might as well. could be fun

feel free to add anything you might find funny/devastating etc.

[missredherring]

Pedro Pascal Masterlist

🌶️= spice

Agent Whiskey (Kingsman: The Golden Circle)

Southern Comfort

He sighed and held you tighter, running his hand up and down your back in soothing strokes.

Take His Gun and Send Him Into Battle (OFC) - Part One

An AU where Whiskey isn’t killed and turned over to Statesman instead. No longer Agent Whiskey, Jack Daniels is going to have to find out who the man beneath the Stetson really is. 

Alejandro Santos (Drive-Away Dolls)

In the Flesh 🌶️ (x Ted Garcia, m/m)

A glory hole in a dive bar at the edge of town truly is a liminal space, and this particular half hard cock straining through the side of a bathroom stall is all the proof he needs of that fact. 

Dieter Bravo (The Bubble)

Dieter Does Dorne

"That is not a great angle for the dangle." You said as you turned your head, trying to better understand what you were seeing. Granted, your phone screen wasn’t the biggest, but you weren’t sure a bigger picture would help untangle the knot of limbs you were looking at.

Feast

Dieter's body stops as if it's come to the end of a tether and he turns his full attention to the section of press you're in. Flashing cameras go off and the yells are deafening once they realize his attention is on them, or so they think. Incubus AU.

Paint Me Like One Of Your French Girls

"Sorry, sorry." He says distractedly while glancing around. Even now that he's in the studio, he's still flitting around to find the right supplies.  "Bravo, I'm freezing my ass off." You say, and it's true: the cold is seeping into your butt from the concrete floor. 

The Roles We Play

While isolated in a manor house with his costars, he roams around in a bathrobe, desperately looking for someone to hook up with. 

Dieter Gets It 🌶️

You didn’t get the appeal of this, but Dieter does.

Someone Who Calls Me Baby (Dieter x Javi G)

He shakes his hands down at his sides, but it does nothing to expel any of the nervous energy running through him: his fingers still tingle as he taps them together and a faint ringing starts in his ears.  When he scoops up his phone to reread the text from his agent the message hasn’t changed. He hasn’t gotten the role in a while.

Touch Me Touch Me Touch Me 🌶️ (Fat Reader)

“How long do you want this?” You adjust his kerchief to indicate your meaning. “All day. We don’t have other plans.” He offers and shudders when you bury your nose in his neck, nuzzling at the skin at the edge of the fabric.  “Good. All you have to do is take it off.” You remind him, as you always do. He nods and you reward him with a bruising suck right over his carotid artery that makes him whimper.

No Solo Riders

The ride operator calls out, the music explodes, and the world falls away around you.

The Ghost and Mrs. Muir AU

30 Minutes or Less

Din Djarin (The Mandalorian)

The Road Ahead

Starting a new journey in life with Din at your side is great. Until he hits a huge pot hole and almost loses the airstream.

Laundry Day

Laundry piles up while no one is looking so you go to the laundromat in town and meet someone new. 

"Then we'll find out together."

Eddie (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

An Act Of Kindness (Fat Reader)

Part Two

"More," he begs, his tongue eager and searching out every drop. "Please."

Ezra (Prospect)

"Are you sure you're ready for this?"

Hidden Treasure

Sometimes it pays to take a detour and give in to curiosity. You and Ezra find a hidden gem on a dusty planet.

Sanctuary

You weren't surprised to find him at the book shop when you went to open that morning.

Frankie Morales (Triple Frontier)

Highway Honey🌶️

“What’s gotten into you today?” “You don’t have fond road trip memories?” “Not really, and I wouldn’t call the trips I do remember ‘road trips’.” He says and you don’t let what he doesn’t say, that most of them were missions or deployments, bring the mood down.

Strawberry Wine

Frankie prefers beer, but he’ll definitely take you to the local winery with live entertainment for a date night.  

When I Watch The World Burn All I Think About Is You

The world is ending and maybe it was sentimentality or fate, but you ended up at the bar where you met. Somehow you could handle the heartbreak in a place like this.  

Cold Ones and Cards

A breeze drifted in through the open windows and the humid air sent goosebumps down your arms. A warm hand, calloused and large, rubbed at the skin there and you leaned back into his chest. Your whole body shook when Frankie laughed, a deep sound that came from his belly. He had to put his head on your shoulder to catch his breath. Whatever the joke was it must’ve been a good one. 

Joel Miller (The Last of Us)

What're We Doing, Joel?

"Tell me what you like."

Develop🌶️

Your fingers freeze on the mouse when you get to the last pictures of the final roll of film. You scroll through, eyes straining to understand what the thumbnail is showing you.  It looks like Joel had an adult sleepover of his own.

I'm The One To Beat 🌶️

Every one of your friend's names had been added to his list of victims, but not yours. For better or worse, you survived. 20 years pass and new victims start showing up with Joel's MO. Now's your chance. Slasher/Final Girl AU.

Let's Twist The Knife Again

When he feels the hard hit to his head, Joel hopes he doesn't wake up. But he does. Time Travel AU.

My Back Is Breaking From This Heavy Heart (Joel x Reader x Tess)

You weren’t home when the music stopped playing on the radio.

Wrong Until You Make It Right

After a long day when his kitchen sink starts leaking, there's only one person he thinks to call. You make a house call and Joel gets a wake up call.

For A Good Time Call... Joel 🌶️ (Fat Reader)

Joel nods like your silence is the answer he expected. “I had plenty of time to think about it last night. All that noise and it still sounded like someone just gettin’ off.” He shakes his head a little. “I’m sure Tommy did good by you, but there was something missing. That desperate edge to your voice, honey. I bet you’ve never not come, always making sure to get yours. But where’s the fun in that?”

Warming Up 🌶️ (Fat Reader)

The impish impulse wins out and you scoot closer to drape yourself over him as much as you can with him sprawling out on his stomach. He yelps and makes to move away, but he’s already at the edge of the mattress.

A Flower in February

When he’s finished cleaning the scrapes on your face his thumb swipes tenderly over the curve of your chin once. “I'll take care of it.”

Little Girl with a Big Mouth 🌶️

"More?" he asks your shoulder. "More." you agree.

Liam (Nikita)

Lap of Luxury🌶️

He’d told himself that you were a distraction, a liability, a weakness he’d be foolish to give in to, but he hadn’t been able to stay away. He hadn’t been able to stop wondering what it would look like to press his fingers into your skin.

Lucien Flores (The Uninvited)

Red Light Glow 🌶️

He’d called to wish you a happy birthday before anyone else.

Hungry Eyes 🌶️

Lucien thinks he probably gets to fuck you in that light. The lucky bastard.

Trying Something New 🌶️

“Back in town tonight. Sex? Pls?”

Marcus Pike (The Mentalist)

Hall Pass (Marcus x Reader x Dieter)

"I can't believe you're this innocent."

Kate & Leopold AU

Mr. Marcus "king of consent" Pike would ask if he could kiss you after sex.

Marcus Moreno (We Can Be Heroes)

"Do You Want My Fingers?"🌶️

He pulled back enough to see your face. Studying your expression like he still needed confirmation that your wants matched his own.

The Bad Guy

Cleaning up after an alien invasion isn’t easy, but Marcus helps.

All That Glitters 🌶️

“Fuck. You’re perfect.” Marcus’s lips brushed your ear as he spoke, sending a shiver down your spine. 

Practice 

Marcus gets back into training but the administrative work never ends.

Villainous: Part One - Part Two

Nothing good had come of the Ogima infiltration, so why would working with their leftover alien tech go any better? Sucked into an alternative universe you’re faced with a man who looked exactly like the partner you had kissed goodbye that morning. His touch is impersonal and rough as your wrists are restrained and the look in his eyes is anything but tender.

Snap (Fat Reader)

"I know you're anxious to give anything that might work a try, but I really want to urge you to read the consent form thoroughly." Marcus says. The request is the dying gasp of his conscience that's burned away in the flare of satisfaction he feels when you sign the form after only a moment of hesitation.

Maxwell Lord (WW '84)

Fool's Gold (Fat Reader)

In a world where superheroes and villains need to be taken into consideration when planning your morning commute, crystals rank low on the “things to be concerned about” scale. A genie AU. 

Comfort

A simple touch of comfort in the night.

Give Me Strength

Maxine Lord attends her first Pride parade with her girlfriend.

An Escape Rope Tied Around My Neck

A wish… what is a wish if not a desperate plea for the unobtainable?

Oberyn Martell (Game of Thrones)

Hands Off (Fat Reader)

"Do not think about how you were in the past. That you no longer exists."

Given a Name (Fat Reader)

"This would be your greatest indulgence?" He asks, the edges of his beautiful mouth curling into a pleased grin. How like a man to inflate his importance. It’s a pity that he isn’t wrong. This will be my greatest selfishness.

Pedro from Across the Street (Calls, Apple TV)

Dial Tone 🌶️

It hadn’t been difficult; knowing you as well as he does. Or the other you, the one who wouldn’t break your vows.

Pero Tovar (The Great Wall)

The Rain Still Falls

The rain still falls and his heart still beats.

The Thief (Casillero del Diablo)

What Strange Claws Are These🌶️

"Oh, I'm sorry, does it hurt?"

Tim Rockford (Merge Mansion AD)

I want to be between this man and the table.

My Best Friend's Wedding (ft Marcus Pike)

Choose your own Pedro Pascal Character

Seven Minutes in Heaven (Fat Reader)

[eri-pl]

Silm reread 11: Men! And the Noldor again!

AKA the part where Fefe dies and Angrod is made by the narrative to look like a fool and Turgon needs a manual

So we apparently switch to another source or at least another editor, because it starts with "the Valar made the sun and stopped caring (except Ulmo) and the only thing protecting the land from Morgoth's rule was the courage of the Noldor". Which may be factual but doesn't sound like something we would get in the narration in one of the previous parts. Huh.

Ulmo tries to teach Men, Men are too dumb. :)

In the First Age Men and Elves do not differ in height or physical strength. Elves are more skilled and beautiful, and the Eldar are (taller? more powerful in another sense? translation unclear :( )

Elves do not die of diseases, but it seems like they may get sick, maybe. They do look like Men, but this will change as their spirits remodel their bodies. But Men are weaker (less buff?), die more easily (also from wounds etc), and heal less easily.

Earendil, Elwing and Elrond mentioned as having full effective-Elvenship, which confirms that all other half-elves (Dior, Nimloth, Dior's twins, also any hypothetical half-elves) do not. But unclear what this means.

Return of the Gnomes Noldor

Wait, does Fefe land his ships on the Morgoth-screamed-like-a-kid-because-spider Land? :D

Second Battle (First one was the Sindar), the Noldor are OP and awesome, light of Aman and what not. An army that has been besieging Cirdan is called back to attack them and Celegorm intercepts it and defeats it.

In ten days, Morgoth's army is reduced to almost zero.

Feanáro expects too see Morgoth just round the corner and chases the orcs laughing and congratulating himself on his courage and disregard of the Valar (it is in the text) and is very brave and strong, but mortally wounded anyway, by Gothmog himself.

Also: Balrogs > Ungoliant and SoF > Balrogs, which is pretty cool for the sons of Feanor. Ungoliant had fire vulnerability, but still, it does look cool.

Fefe dies looking at Thrangorodrim, because revenge > anything else, apparently. Realizes it is impossible for the Noldor to conquer it. And regardless he tells his sons to re-swear the Oath and to avange him. (Also, he curses Morgoth again, three times)

Sindar and Noldor have a language difference, and I've mentioned it with the Dwarves already, but Sindarin seems easy to learn.

The initial assumption (of the Sindar and Dark Elves) is that the Noldor came ordered by the Valar to help them.

Just as Fefe dies, an emissary comes to invite his sons to a parlay. Maedhros convinces his brothers to pretend to want to parlay. I totally forgot that part!!! It is his idea! And as we all know, both sides betray the agreement, but Morgoth side does it with more success. He ordered to capture Maedhros alive (I'm not sure what is the main reason for that).

The other 6 fortify and do not want further "negotiations", this sounds like it's all happening very fast, but then the timelines suggest it took years. Morgoth demands the Noldor get out, they do not because they know he won't let Mae go anyway. After it's clear the talking is over, Mae is hung at the cliff. Which suggests to me he hung there for most of his capture.

There's tension, Fingolfin thinks that all 8 burned the ships together, his host is numerous and angry. Doom of the Noldor starts acting and instead of cooperation, there are tensions. And the SoF are too ashamed of their treason to go talk with the newcomers openly. :(

Fingon and Maedhros are… it reads as they had more or less officially unfriended each other at some point in Valinor, because of all the stuff between their fathers. Fingolfin doesn't know Maedhros opposed the ship-burning. He thinks Maedhros sees him as an enemy or at elast a jerk. Still, he goes to save him. I love this.

The song-rescue!!!

Oh, the song-rescue. I am so insane about this trope. It's just so— I don't know how to even call it. Not only this one scene (or the other two), but this scheme in general, I do have a thing about it. Very much. But tbh it's one of the things where my love for it is in big part "non-canon, very niche connections I make about it". Same as with…. most things I like in the Silm, probably. Hmm.

Also, let's have a moment for Mae, seriously. The rescue scene is so … poor Mae. And it is not even the worst part of "fate awaited him with fell purpose" :(

Yea, Manwe still cares about the exiled Noldor no matter what Namo's intern said. :D (yes this is a hc, because I do not imagine Namo saying something that isn't literally true)

Mae survives only because he's supercharged after having spent a long time in Valinor. (I'll need a better mental model of how it works, but I'm pretty sure it's the same thing that made Luthien die faster on the Silmaril and makes mortals allegedly die faster in Valinor, it's just different for Elves. But I wouldn't be surprised if later the Eldar faded faster than the Dark Elves)

Meadhros apologizes for ship-burning and gives the crown to Fingolfin (I for some reason misremembered it as Fingon. Huh.)

Thingol is not entirely happy about guys wanting to establish their own kingdoms, does not open his borders to them (for this reason, I think) and does not open the Girdle (because Morgoth). This is probably still when he assumes that the Noldor were sent to Beleriand by the Valar. So, it is … not terrible, but probably not a fully nice behavior either. Especially including his friendship with Finwë. On the other hand, maybe Melian already does have a hunch that something shady is going on with the Noldor.

He invites Finarfin-s family, because their mom (Earwen) was Olwë's daughter??? I forgot that part. Oh. this must have been awkward.

Angrod talks with thingol and does not mention the kinslaying, Oath and all the jazz, because "he thought it was ok now"? Excuse me, narrative, what? I need this in English, I'm not sure what even it's saying exactly.

Fortunately, much text of the Silm is Googleable.

he spoke long with the King, telling him of the deeds of the Noldor in the north, and of their numbers, and of the ordering of their force; but being true, and wisehearted, and thinking all griefs now forgiven, he spoke no word concerning the kinslaying, nor of the manner of the exile of the Noldor and the oath of Fëanor.

It does not help. He thinks the grieves are forgiven by whom? The Valar? The Teleri? Iluvatar? (who was mentioned in the Oath, it turns out, just the Polish translation misses this).

Like, ok, Professor, I get that you want Angrod to not be a liar (because he's son of Finarfin and they're the good ones) but also Thingol to not know about the shady parts, but I don't think it works. It just makes Angrod look really stupid at best.

Thingol lats the Noldor settle in the free parts of the land, to protect the settlements of his subjects. Makes sense to me. Also reminds them that he's the king of Beleriand, which sounds rather too proud, but again, nothing more than being a bit of a jerk. The Feanorians are upset.

Maedhros calls him a fake king (affectionate) and Caranthir (who we are told is a jerk in general) gets angry and disses the Arafinweans. Maedhros puts him in his place (which is important to note, because it makes me assume he generally puts his brother in place, eg Celegorm after Luthien probably even if it's not said in the text)

Maedhros is cool, he is friends with cousins… ut he is oath-bound as we are ominously reminded.

Oh, so here it is about Caranthir and money. He disses Dwarves but as they both hate Morgoth, they decide to fight against him by… making Caranthir the sole sales representative of the Dwarves.

The feast of peace! We have M&M (no other brothers, maybe because they are less diplomatic), some Sindar, Cirdan&friends, less important Elves Green Elves, and from Doriath we get Mablung and Dearon.

So yes, Maglor and Daeron get to meet each other.

The Noldor are great at crafts and lore, but Maglor is the greatest minstrel among them. The Sindar wre great at music, but Daeron is the greatest scholar among them. Oh, the cultural exchange when they two get drunk and argue about what tuning is better invent modern music theory and what not. I don't care for the alliances and stuff, but give me a fic of those two just talking music theory and similar things.

Also, many oaths of firendship and alliance were made — I guess the idea of swearing oaths is not traumatic yet. Makes sense. We are early in the timeline, before lost battles and most mass murders.

Here we get the difference in language-learning between Noldor and Sindar.

Turgon and Finrod get visions from Ulmo, each one assumes he's the only one to get it. I like Silm more than LotR, and Silm characters more than LotR characters on average, but at least iirc Boromir and Faramir talked to each other. :D

Finrod visits Thingol, makes Nargothrond, the Dwarves help and in the published vevrsion there is no conflict at any point between them. Finrod gives them a lot of gems, the Dwarves give him Nauglamir, it's pretty and one-size-fits-all, and magically light.

Meanwhile, Galadriel gets married and becomes Melian's student.

Turgon is less effective at hidden-city-making than Finrod and Ulmo has to tell him what exactly to do. It's not really stupid or anything, but kind of funny and I will laugh at Turgon for needing a how-to. :)

Another won battle (third one). fingolfin says Morgoth will never be able to break the siege. Ironic how it is him to say that. Both because what happens later and because he's called "Wise Finwë".

Also, Morgoth does have some intel because he regularly captures some Eldar alive and asks them questions. So he isn't completely dumb yet. Years pass, we get baby Glaurung. It's like 400 years from coming of the Noldor? And still nobody told Thingol (and probably any other non-Elda) about the problematic parts. This is weird.

Here we get the comparision of Noldor and Sindar skills and preferences. Also, they do merge in some settlements into effectively one nation, speaking Sindarin.

Also, a note about the ban (which will come later): Sindarin was the common language at this point anyway, becase the Noldor learned it easily and the Sindar learned quanya with difficulty. So, Thingol's ban was more of a formality than a practical issue.

It was as if Thingol put a "I hate the kinslayers" decoration on his Facebook picture. This kind of gesture. At least that's how it seems to me from what I've already reread.

[jojosbizarrekakyoinobsession]

⭐️My Favourite Jotakak (Noritaro) Fanfiction Mega List🍒

Here's a list of my most favourite Jotakak fics from AO3 that I highly recommend you check out. I’ll come back to this list to update it every once in a while when I find more ultimate faves. I organised this list by word count and status rather than my most liked. I can't possibly choose favourites among these…well, maybe a few. 🥰

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

[updated 25/10/2024 ~ added 1 new fic ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗]

Completed One-Shots

three sleepy angels on a couch by fivour

Word Count: 735 - Rated T

Jotaro cuddles with his two favourite people on earth while sleepily watching a horror film.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆

Never Going Back Again by TheSpaceCoyote

Word Count: 847 - Rated M, minor DioKak

Kakyoin compares the taste of alcohol on Dio's and Jotaro's lips.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆

Hot Springs Episode by HasturIsMyCopilot

Word Count: 870 - Rated T

Exactly what the title implies. The noodles take a much needed vacation at a hot springs spot.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆

Dirty Mouth by kawauso

Word Count: 922 - Rated M

Jotaro and Kakyoin tease each other before getting spicy. Kakyoin swearing his head off in a dirty manner is both cute and hilarious!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆

Jolyne’s First Word by HeiroGreenKaky

Word Count: 944 - Rated G

The noodles teach their baby girl their favourite words in attempt to have her say her first word. Can you guess who wins this battle?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆

Bless the Rain by meloshi -ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Word Count: 969 - Rated G

Part 4 noodles enjoy their quiet domestic bliss while it rains in Morioh. Fairly simple, but very much wholesome and warm.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆

Please Don't Give the Cake Low Self-Esteem by starplatinumgold

Word Count: 1K - Rated T

A quiet fic where Kak and Jotaro celebrate Jotaro's 40th birthday. Classic bantering and fluff.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆

Unwashed and Somewhat Slightly Dazed by kawauso

Word Count: 1.1K - Rated T

Jotaro and Kakyoin engage in teenage shenanigans together in a hotel in the middle of who knows where. This is totally canon btw.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆

Marine by LoverlyMadhatter

Word Count: 1.1K - Rated G

Jotaro is on a date with the sea creatures of the aquarium rather than with Kakyoin. But Kak doesn't mind one bit, seeing his bf go crazy for one of the few fascinations that Jotaro has turns him on. xD

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆ *ੈ

Old Wounds by Chaos__Incarnate

Word Count: 1.3K - Rated G

The couple comfort each other during a PTSDio flareup while travelling by plane. Super wholesome how they know how to calm the other down.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆ *ੈ

Hide and Seek by BattleRabbit

Word Count: 1.3K - Rated G

Jotaro and Kakyoin play hide and seek with Jolyne, and they get sappy with one another while hiding, that's all.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚

Thinking of You by jot4ro

Word Count: 1.4K - Rated T

Nori does some thinking about what he loves most about his and Jotaro’s relationship. This is a very soft fic that always has me smiling every time I reread this.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚

Jolyne contends with her father's homosexuality by baekkimichi

Word Count 1.9K - Rated T

Jolyne and Hermès meet Jotaro's weirdo, froggy boyfriend for the first time ever, Takes place post Stone Ocean rather than in the Ireneverse.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊

Chicken Soup by indevan

Word Count 2K - Rated G

Jotaro becomes an entirely different brand of weird when he’s sick, and Nori is forced to make him some soup. It’s cute, simple, but full of sick, whiny Jotaro shenanigans!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊

Fade Into View by HasturIsMyCopilot

Word Count 3K - Rated T

This is another very quiet fic where Jotaro believes that the ghost of Kakyoin is following him everywhere while he spends his day out in Morioh.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊

Sea Salt Sweet by Skysquid22

Word Count: 3.7K - Rated G

Kak and Joot celebrate Valentine's Day at school as a couple before they actually become a couple. Kakyoin's personality depicted in this fanfic is probably the closest to canon I have ever read in a Jotakak fanfic.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆

Stars in His Eyes by aliensaresupergay

Word Count: 3.8K - Rated M

Follows the Stardust Crusaders canon, and is full of angst in the latter half. WARNING, you will be depressed after reading this. :(

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆

Comfort Food by ChimaAmla

Word Count: 4K - Rated E

Kakyoin takes care of a stressed out Jotaro after an intense day of studying for graduate school. Joot needs to learn to let others take care of him. Gets sweetly spicy towards the end.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆

Flicker by thisislegit (only visible for registered users)

Word Count: 5K - Rated M

A collection of drabbles about Jotaro and Kakyoin living together for the first time as a couple. Shenanigans and fluff ensue.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆

A hundred miles of moonlight by minamimaru

Word Count: 5.3K - Rated M

Mostly Diokak, but I put this on the list because like "Never Going Back Again", it details Nori's experiences and perspective on love with Dio and Jotaro. One’s love is genuine, and the other’s is artificial.

Completed Stories

The Three O'Clock Passenger by Pupyltup (technically incomplete, the author isn't sure whether or not it'll be finished, most likely not, but fortunately doesn't end on a cliff hanger)

Word Count: 10K - Rated G

Jotaro has a panic attack when Kakyoin fails to appear from the train he's supposed to be onboard. The Duwang Gang are hella confused over Jotaro's sudden show of emotions, and there's an adorable reunion between Jotaro and Kakyoin.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆

Stand by Me (orphaned story, doesn’t really end on a big cliffhanger, but it does end on an ongoing arc)

Word Count: 18.9K - Rated T

A modern AU but everyone still has stands. It’s a story of nothing but domestic fluffy bliss where Jotaro and Kakyoin raise their two children, Jolyne and baby Jouta, together as one, happy family. There isn’t an overall arc, but some chapters do connect to one another. Comes with a side dish of Avpol.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆

Shiitake Dashi by 04AM

Word Count: 24.7K - Not Rated, but there is non explicit sex

Modern AU and the noodles act like idiots. They're essentially friends with benefits while ignoring their true feelings for one another until the end.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆

Mesmerized by mahbecks

Word Count: 26.6K - Rated M, minor Jotahan

Jotaro and Kakyoin have a small falling out, and don't see each other again in person for 8 years until they're once again reunited in Morioh. Unfortunately for them, and fortunately for us the shippers, they are forced to share a bed during Kakyoin's stay in Morioh. Little do they know, they both still have very strong feelings for one another.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆

Merry and Bright by mahbecks

Word Count: 28.4K - Rated M

Combines my two favourite things, Jotakak and Christmas! Once again, Jotaro and Kakyoin are idiots when it comes to their relationship. Everyone on earth believes these two are already dating, considering how close they are and Kakyoin is helping Jotaro raise Jolyne like he's her stepfather, except Jotaro and Kakyoin don't realise themselves that they’re indeed dating.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆

Transplant Shock by violetnyte

Word Count: 40K - Rated M, minor elements of non explicit rape/non-con and domestic violence, and Diokak

A modern AU in which Jotaro rescues his new neighbour, Kakyoin, from his abusive boyfriend, DIo Brando. Takes place during the peak of the COVID pandemic, so most of the story is confined within Jotaro's apartment. It's a sad and disturbing one, Kak is completely traumatised from his long time abuse and is so wary of Jotaro despite liking Joot a lot. But there is an ambiguous happy ending.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆

hurt by mahbecks

Word Count: 74.1K - Rated E

Another friends with benefits scenario because these boys are so stupid when it comes to admitting/realising they want to date. How can you be in a sexual relationship with your best friend for four full years without realising that maybe there's something more to the relationship? Lmao. Full of angst, but there's a really happy ending. Honestly, mahbecks is my favourite Jotakak author. x)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆

Up Close and Personal (Protection) by snaggle_t00th

Word Count: 85.3K - Rated T, gets NSFW only for the second half of a chapter, but the author adds a warning beforehand on the chapter

A business AU in which Jotaro becomes the bodyguard for Kakyoin Noriaki, a CEO of a multi-million dollar company. They immediately become enamoured with one another. There is soooo much tooth rotting fluff in this, but of course they don't know how to properly confess their feelings for one another until they're practically slobbering over each other. xD

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆

An Ode to Stardust by Hamon Hugs

Word Count: 114K - Rated M, some sex scenes in like two chapters

Takes place post DiU, Jotaro battles alcoholism as a way to pacify his severe PTSDio symptoms, and tries to hide his issues from Kakyoin. It's quite a heartwrenching read from start to finish. Poor Joot loves his Nori dearly, but he doesn't want to burden him with his problems, despite Nori’s insistence to share anything and everything with him.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆

pocket full of seashells by mahbecks

Word Count: 145K - Rated E

Kakyoin and Polnareff (and Rohan) run a tattoo business, but when their store, as well as other businesses within their neighbourhood, are in danger of losing their property to Dio’s mega corporation, they have to team up with Kakyoin's arch nemesis, Jotaro the fish store guy from next door, to lawyer up against Dio. And yes, it's an enemies to lovers story. As much as they hate to admit it, they're super attracted to each other. There's also background Avpol.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆

Preconceived Notions by Cayrule

Word Count: 289K - Rated E

My favourite AU fanfic here. College students Jotaro and Kakyoin DESPISE each other upon first meeting. But when they're paired together for a group project for one of their classes, they grow to like, and eventually fall in love with one another. Like always, there’s a ton of fluff and banter. These two are so mentally unwell and socially awkward and so, so perfect for each other. It’s so beautiful and it makes me sick. They were born to be together. :3

Ongoing Stories

Walk With Me/Try Again by CasstheCringe

Word Count: >218K - Rated T

Jotaro and Kakyoin have a major falling out after Egypt, Kakyoin feels abandoned by his first best friend and one true love, and Jotaro is deeply traumatised by the events in Egypt. They meet each other again in Morioh after 10 years of not seeing each other, but due to huge misunderstandings, they act like they detest each other, but deep down, they really still value and love each other underneath all of that anger and coldness. This is mainly in the POV of Kakyoin bonding with the Duwang Gang and rest of Morioh's inhabitants. And Jotaro and Kakyoin largely act like little shits towards one another, but the author has promised a happy ending for these two, so I'll hold them up on that promise. You can really feel Jotaro's heartbreak, even if it's not explicitly stated, whenever Kakyoin screams and rages at him. It's a sad but extraordinary story so far. Just hurry up and kiss & make up already! xD

Story Series (Complete & Ongoing)

Jotakak 12 Days of Christmas/Winter 2023 by lazyserendipity

Word Count: 12.6K - Rated T minor mpreg elements - Complete

This is a collection of Christmas/Winter themed fluffy drabbles. The series isn’t in chronological order, so don’t get confused by how in one story, Jotaro and Kak will simply be dating, and in another story they’ll be married with Jouta and Jolyne. There are some subtle mentions of mpreg, which personally I’m not a fan of too much, but overall it’s a cute af series.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆

Emerald is Unbreakable by jojotier

Word Count: >29.1K - Rated G,T,M - Ongoing (probably)

Kakyoin hanging out in Morioh. That’s all that needs to be said, lol.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆

Jotaro and Kakyoin need therapy (preliminary title) by jaegckerman

Word Count: >73.1K - Rated E - Complete (probably)

With Jotaro’s comphet and unhappy marriage, and Kakyoin’s near decade long crush on Jotaro, the two of them finally give into their desires. It isn’t until after the deed is done when things start to fall apart between them. Jotaro is still a married man with a daughter afterall. This is a really good one, and it explores both Nori’s and Jotaro’s inner turmoil during and after they end up in bed together. Don’t worry, there’s a really happy ending.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

That’s all I have for now. Again, I will occasionally update this if I discover more favourites.

[canmom]

Wait is ratfic not fiction about rats???

I can talk about fiction about rats too! Let's talk about some British childrens' book series! And one American comic book.

The four relevant works for our discussion would be the Redwall series by Brian Jacques, the Welkin Weasels series by Garry Kilworth, the Deptford Mice series by Robin Jarvis, and the Mouse Guard series by David Petersen. All these works portray a world inhabited by semi-anthropomorphic animals that are at the scale of real world animals. And indeed all of them include rats, albeit mostly as antagonists.

Redwall is perhaps the one that has most penetrated internet pop culture, thanks to articles like this one on SomethingAwful which mocked some of the series's recurring elements while painting Brian Jacques as a bit of a nazi. I ate those books up as a kid, but in retrospect I truthfully can remember only snatches: the shrews' battle cry of 'logalogalogalog!', the pages of elaborate descriptions of feasts.

Redwall is a big sufferer from the 'evil races' problem. A certain arbitrary set of species (e.g. rats, stoats, weasels, ferrets) are ontologically evil, and various other species are standins for various stereotypical British social classes (e.g. iirc moles are always working class). As unfortunately tends to be the case, it even makes the strange decision to double down on this - I believe in one of the books, a member of one of the evil species is raised in the Abbey, but inevitably his evil nature comes out when the good rodents and mustelids are once again threatened by an army of bad rodents and mustelids.

Nevertheless, as repetitive and ethically dubious as these books are, they do conjour a very specific flavour which makes them memorable. The author's enthusiasm for food as child of the Blitz shines through, as does his evident love for the idyllic Redwall Abbey. There's a lot of really charming elements like the 'logalogalog' thing. Having these read out to me as kid was great, it had a bit of a panto feel, where I could join in with the expected beats.

The first Redwall book implies that humans exist in this world, but this is subsequently quietly retconned to an only-animals fantasy world.

The Welkin Weasels series is a lot shorter at six books, and you may well bounce off the author's enthusiasm to insert puns and references all over the place (I recall one book managing to set up "badgers? we don't need no stinkin' badgers"), but from what I remember of them they benefit from having more explicit horror elements which makes the stakes much more engaging. I recall the weasels trying to weasel their way into a crypt full of horrible pitfalls and finding it very tense as a kid.

There is once again a sympathetic-unsympathetic species divide - weasels are our plucky heroes, while stoats tend to be aristocratic and cruel. However, it does play out a little differently: the first three books are in a medieval fantasy setting with explicit magic, but over the course of the novels, the mustelids manage to rediscover humans, leading to a timeskip forward into a more steampunk setting where the animals and humans have built a joint society together.

Honestly, I would quite like to reread these books! They may well not hold up today, but it would be fun to revisit them.

The Deptford Mice series by Robin Jarvis - author of Deathscent, a highly memorable novel in which Elizabethans have been transported by aliens into a space archipelago where all the animals are robots which run on the four humours - is a pretty fun one, although my memory is very foggy. It's set in our world, in London, and as I recall the first book involves an evil cat wizard attempting to resurrect the Bubonic Plague from the plague pits. I recall a scene in which rats dig up the plague pit and have their paws melted by the lime coating it. Beyond that I can recall very little but I definitely think it merits inclusion in this list of rat fic.

Once again we have the good rodent/evil rodent problem. Mice and rats are almost identical creatures, so it's weird that the sympathetic/unsympathetic divide falls so consistently.

Mouse Guard is an American comic series about mice with little cloaks and swords. Making it be a comic is kind of a great idea because you get to see how cute they are at every turn. The mouse guard are responsible for defending the other mice from threats such as snakes. They have a pretty high mortality rate.

I'm... actually not super familiar with the comics, but they inspired a roleplaying game by the creators of Burning Wheel, using similar mechanics - e.g. its beliefs system, the simultaneous-resolution combat system. That got a lot of buzz around the late 2010s. So if you want a game to play as an rat at the tabletop, it's probably a good one to check out!

We might also at this juncture mention the wildly popular novel Watership Down, which imagines an elaborate rabbit society complete with a substantially fleshed out rabbit religion. I wrote about the animated film for Animation Night a couple years back - it's quite a memorable one.

Sadly, this is mostly mousefic (with a bit of weaselfic). I don't know of any true ratfic - centred on rats as protagonists. Perhaps this is an opportunity for someone out there to write ratfic ratfic to correct this imbalance.

edit: omfg i forgot the rats of NIMH. thanks to both the people who reminded me of that one

[butterflydm]

wot reread: a memory of light (chapter 38-epilogue)

spoilers for a memory of light!

Well, the rest of the chapters have fewer pages in total than chapter 37 did, so this is going to be my last full reread post, though I do have a couple of follow-ups planned.

My timing ended up being pretty good, even though my original intention was just to reread books 1-3 in anticipation of the second season of the show. And now I’ve still got over a month to get good and excited about everything the show will be bringing to the table.

1. We go back to Rand, still deep in his conversation with TDO. The chapter “the Last Battle” really revolved around the battle between the forces outside Shayol Ghul, because it ended when the commander of the other army finally was killed (though there are still a ton of his forces to take care of, the head of the snake was cut off and so was the person who fancied himself Demandred’s replacement).

2. The ‘let go’ that Rand is hearing in his mind is in his father’s voice, and the meaning expands here -- let them sacrifice. it is their choice to make. And then Egwene’s voice -- am I not allowed to be a hero too?

Because this is something that Rand has been resisting over the course of the books -- basically ever since he accepted that he will be the sacrifice, he’s struggled with knowing that he’s not the only one, with knowing that other people are sometimes even sacrificing just to get him here, to this place. And, I imagine, with his tentative plans to maybe even survive this ‘sacrifice’, that’s going to make him feel even more guilty about other people giving up their lives in this fight.

3. He talks in dialogue with Egwene’s voice in his head (given that he’s existing around and between reality, it might really be Egwene’s voice too). He is not in charge of protecting her. He decided to take that charge on himself, back in EotW, but it was never his to claim. Let us die for what we believe, and do not try to steal that from us.

4. And so Rand takes himself through his list again, backwards, this time, releasing his feelings of shame for failing to save them, releasing his need to protect them. Letting go of the mountain that has been crushing him for the majority of the series.

He hadn’t realized how large it had become, how much he had let himself carry.

...

Ilyena was last. We are reborn, Rand thought, so we can do better the next time.

So do better.

5. And now Rand, as he stands surrounded by all time and nothing at the same time, comes to understand that the Darkness was never a being, never an entity of its own. It is the between of everything. It can only win if no one is willing to keep fighting against it.

6. Mat gets the news of Lan’s reported death. As he did with Egwene and with Elayne, he swallows the grief and doesn’t let it show to anyone else, instead using the news to spur the army onward to attack the now-stunned foe.

7. Rand tells TDO that he can’t win, and TDO argues that it has Rand in its grasp right now, and Rand says that that’s missing the point, because it was never just about his victory. The people he lists:

Morgase (?) - a woman, torn and beaten down, cast from her throne and made a puppet

Thom - a man who remembered stories and took fool boys under his wing

Moiraine - a woman who hunted truth before others could

Perrin (?) - a man whose family was taken from him, but who stood tall

Nynaeve - a woman who refused to believe she could not Heal those who had been harmed

Mat - a hero who insisted with every breath that he was not a hero

Egwene - a woman who would not bend her back while she was beaten and who stone with the Light for all who watched

Rand realizes -- “it was never about beating me. It was about breaking me.”

8. Okay, I have to say. I have to! But this is... this is literally also how the Seanchan work. This is their philosophy of life -- to take people and break them to the Seanchan’s purpose. As I’ve said before, there really is no way around the fact that the Seanchan are going to be the Great Evil of the Fourth Age. There are just too many Shadow-Seanchan parallels! Maybe Mat and Min can slow the train slightly but I don’t think they can actually put the breaks on it.

9. But back to now -- Rand and TDO watch the battlefield, where Mat is fighting -- Tam at his side, then Karede and his suicide-slave troops, then Loial and the Ogier. “Outnumbered three to one”. Mat is shouting in the Old Tongue: For the Light! For honor! For glory! For life itself!

I will take a moment to be glad that, despite the first half of this book trying so hard to align Mat with the slavers for whatever fucking reason, he’s not fighting for the slavers in this battle. That he actually did become the General of the Forces of the Light, not primarily the General of the Slavers. Looking back, it really does feel like the change was signaled when Mat first took off his Seanchan clothes and put back on his Two Rivers coat*. That seems to have been a visual cue about his change in characterization -- how he started pushing back more against Tuon, forcing her into more compromises, and standing more aligned with the Forces of Light rather than pandering to the slavers all the time. idk, maybe forcing Mat over to Ebou Dar at the start of the book was Sanderson’s way of trying to finally create a synthesis between the horrible Mat of CoT & KoD and the non-horrible Mat of the earlier books, and he felt like he actually had to take Seanchan!Mat to his worst conclusion before bringing him out again? It still really sucks that the Mat and Rand reunion happened during our low point of Mat’s characterization, though.

(* which appears to have been triggered by the ‘not pleasant’ conversation that Mat and Tuon had after Tuon berates him for not telling her that Egwene was briefly enslaved by the Seanchan. After that (off-screen) conversation, Mat starts being much more combative re: the Seanchan -- after that conversation is when he has his bitter/sarcastic thought that he’s not done much to convince Tuon to stop using damane and when he suggests to Min that she mislead Tuon about her viewings to try to soften her stance on Aes Sedai; so I think we can safely give Egwene credit for the turnaround in Mat’s characterization -- I wish that that conversation between Mat and Tuon hadn’t happened off-screen! like so many important emotional moments!, but it seems like perhaps that was a watershed moment for Mat)

Rand and TDO watch, and TDO taunts Rand “the son of battles. I will take him [Mat!]. I will take them all, adversary. As I took the king of nothing [this is Lan, I assume]”.

10. Mat thinks about how he knows he can win this battle, despite the horrible odds. He just needs “a favorable toss of the dice”.

And, not too far away, with the Trollocs outside his hiding place, Olver gives up on the idea of trying to get the Horn to Mat, and lifts the Horn of Valere to his lips.

11. First Mat, and then everyone else, hears Rand’s voice -- he calls out Shai’tan as wrong, telling everyone that Lan isn’t dead. And just after he says that, Mat hears the familiar golden and clear note of the Horn of Valere.

...wow, the Seanchan feel so superfluous to requirements right now. They didn’t show up until after the final combat was engaged, after Rand had his final necessary epiphany, after the Horn was blown (they have still not shown up, technically).

I’m going to take a moment to daydream about a world where Tuon’s nature as marath’damane was revealed and accepted, so she really did flee with the Seanchan (so that she can try to recover from this blow to her powerbase) and the Seanchan never returned to the Last Battle. This would be a much easier way to de-tangle Mat from the Seanchan than whatever he’s gonna need to actually do post-canon.

12. The Heroes of the Horn return and our first sight of them is Birgitte coming to save Elayne from Mellar, with a shining silver arrow. 😍

Birgitte standing over her own corpse kinda cracks me up. Good for her! It’s also probably the first time she’s felt like herself in books and books.

“That was the bloody Horn of Valere!” Mat announces to his troops. “We can still win this night!” Inside, he marvels over how the Horn was sounded without him, showing that one of the things that he’d believed that he was permanently tied to isn’t tied to him after all.

Well, if that knot can be untied, Mat, maybe another one can be as well.

13. Between losing Demandred and the appearance of the Heroes of the Horn, the Shadow are now the ones who are on the defensive, with some Trollocs breaking and trying to run away.

The mist of the Heroes forms near Mat and he feels a moment of worry, wondering if maybe someone on the side of the Shadow summoned them. Hawkwing rides up to Mat, and tells him, “Do take better care of what has been allotted you. Almost, I worried we would not be summoned for this fight.”

I know, right? The lack of urgency in the Mat-in-Ebou-Dar half of the book about actually getting him to Merrilor to blow the Horn was really frustrating to me too!

When Mat confirms that this mean they’re fighting for the Light, Hawkwing tells him, “We would never fight for the Shadow.” The rumors about the Horn are wrong -- I feel like we learned this back in TGH as well but, you know, Mat was dying at the time, so I don’t blame him for not remembering.

Yeah, here’s the line: “We have come to the Horn, but we must follow the banner. And the Dragon.” So it was Rand, Perrin, and Mat who learned that. But, like I said, I don’t blame Mat for not remembering.

14. Hawkwing and Amaresu both scold Mat for not showing Rand enough appreciation for saving his life. Honestly, so fair and legit for Mat to finally be on the other end of a scolding like that. “I have seen you murmur that you fear his madness but all the while you forget that every breath you breathe - every step you take - comes at his forbearance. Your life is a gift from the Dragon Reborn, Gambler. Twice over.”

Mat feels so scolded. As he deserves.

He’s told that they can fight here because they have Rand’s banner and because Rand is... technically sort-of kind-of leading them... from a distance.

Amazingly, Mat takes a moment out of this encounter to marvel at how pretty one of the heroes is and then Remind Himself again that he’s married. He really does have to keep Reminding Himself. One of these days, he’s not going to remember to Remind Himself until after he’s already slept with someone else. It’s been more subtle in this book than in ToM, but Mat is still constantly checking out Every Other Lady around him.

15. Olver gets dug out of his hole by Trollocs but Noal, now one of the Heroes, arrives to save him. I don’t care about Noal, and Jordan definitely didn’t do enough to build up their relationship in CoT & KoD, but I still got a little misty at the tiny orphan child feeling grateful that one of the people who ‘abandoned’ him has finally come back.

16. haha, this next chapter is called ‘wolfbrother’ so I guess that Perrin is finally gonna wake up. But first, we have Elayne!

She’s able to wriggle lose enough to make the medallion copy shift away from her skin and fall to the ground, and now she can embrace saidar again. Elayne apologizes to Birgitte but Birgitte laughs it off, “Why do you mourn, Elayne? I have it all back! My memory has returned. It is wonderful! I don’t know how you stood me these last few weeks. I moped worse than a child who’d just broken her favorite toy.” Ah, yeah, that confirms that Birgitte’s spiral into bitterness was not meant to be a reflection of Elayne but on the dark place that Birgitte was in, with her loss of memories, I think. But it’s a shame that it feels like parts of the fandom just took Birgitte’s unrelated bitterness as a reason to slam on Elayne more. My girl gets so much undeserved hate.

And Elayne and Birgitte will ride back into the battle together. Not as Aes Sedai and Warder, but as friends. 😍 😍 😍 😍 

17. Aviendha! I’ve missed you! Her timeline isn’t advancing as quickly as it has been for those further away from Shayol Ghul, so not as much as happened here in the valley. She can feel the channeling inside the Pit of Doom - “a quiet pulse”. Oh! The wolfbrother of the chapter’s title is actually Elyas, who Aviendha runs across now. The Darkhound Wild Hunt is happening, and hundreds of wolves have come to fight back against them.

Aviendha is about to go fetch channelers to help bring down the Darkhounds, when she spies Graendal a bit higher on the slope, with some Turned channelers, and Aiel guards under compulsion. Aviendha alerts her companions (Amys & Cadsuane) and then begins the fight against Graendal.

18. Elayne has a sword again. Where is she getting these swords? I’m just gonna assume it’s made out of Air or something. More useful than the sword, Elayne creates a banner with the Power, the red lion of Andor, lighting up the night.

19. [Mat] remembered, within those memories that were not his, leading forces far grander. Armies that were not fragmented, half-trained, wounded and exhausted. But Light help him, he had never been so proud.

...

This was the moment he had been seeking. It was the card upon which to bet everything he had. Ten to one odds, still, but the Sharan army, the Trollocs and the Fades had no head. No general to guide them.

...

Elayne’s death had been a lie. Her troops had been in disarray - they had lost more than a third of their soldiers - but just as they were about to be routed by the Trollocs, she rode into their midst and rallied them.

20.  Catching up with Moggy! Hi, Moghedien. I bet your Last Battle is going pretty shitty. She kicks Demandred’s abandoned corpse. Oh, his devoted Shendla just left his body there to rot? Yikes. For Moghedien, she discovers that now that so many of the Chosen have been killed off, TDO is ready to let her have a taste of that sweet sweet True Power.

She disguises herself as Demandred and heads to the Sharan forces. I have to admit, given how open Min has been about her Talents, it’s kinda astonishing that Moghedien doesn’t know about her viewings. Min will tell anyone who stands still for five seconds, plus Tuon announced her as a Doomseer and has been plumping her up for the past whatever-number of chapters.

Moghedien starts to gear up for her role as Fake Demandred...

...and then she gets a blast of cannon/dragon-fire in her face from the Band’s part of Mat’s plan.

21. Instead of the Band leaving their caves to fight; channelers are opening them up brief windows to shoot through. Aludra is placed up on a high location with a spy-glass, giving orders to the channelers for the next locations for the booms. Honestly very clever.

22. As Aviendha fights in the valley, plants grow to cover her passage.

They had come right when she had needed them to hide her approach. Happenstance? She chose to believe otherwise. She could feel [Rand], in the back of her mind. He fought, a true warrior. His battle lent her strength, and she tried to return the same.

Determination. Honor. Glory. Fight on, shade of my heart. Fight on.

😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 

23. Aviendha kills a Compelled attacker, only realizing it’s Rhuarc after she has struck the fatal blow. She kills him moments before he would have killed her, and only her shoulder gets injured.

She does her best to convince herself that she only killed a shell. That Rhuarc was already dead.

There is a burst of determination from Rand (Strength, Aviendha) and her fatigue leaves her, and she refocuses on the fight.

24. Aviendha studies Graendal and decides on her approach -- she creates a spear made out of fire and light, and some other weaves in reserve -- and charges for Graendal. See, this makes a lot more sense that Elayne randomly having a sword, because this is a weapon and Aviendha knows and has trained in most of her life. I think that Sanderson Just Likes Swords tbh.

I really love the description here because of how it brings back Aviendha’s Maiden roots as she launches her attack on Graendal. The ground explodes underneath her (her legs get pretty destroyed, it sounds like), but she’s leaping up already aimed like a spear herself, and she sinks the spear into Graendal’s side just as Graendal is using the True Power to Travel... and because they’re touching, she goes along with Graendal when she Travels.

25. Mat rides with the Heroes of the Horn. He gets them to confirm that he isn’t one of them. He can see Elayne from where he is.

Mat saw Elayne’s banner glowing above them in the sky, crafted of the One Power, and caught a glimpse of someone who looked like her riding among the soldiers, hair glowing as if lit from behind her. She seemed a bloody Hero of the Horn herself.

26. And then the great battle is over, at least here on the battlefield.

He would have to thank Tuon for returning. He did not go looking for her, though. He had a feeling she would expect him to perform his princely duties, whatever they might be.

Hmm.

27. He does feel that tugging. Rand needs him. He tries to convince himself that this was his part, out here, and whatever is going on where Rand is... that’s Rand’s business. The dice are still tumbling in his head. This part here manages to capture Mat’s double-think in a way that I didn’t feel like came across in the actual chapter when we had the Rand & Mat reunion.

After trying to talk himself out of it, Mat ends up saying that he’s a fool because “I need to go to Rand.”

As a parting note, he asks Hawkwing to go have a conversation with “their Empress” (Tuon), and hmm, interesting. Okay, I need to break this down a bit.

So, one of the things that gave Tuon the big jollies back in the negotiation chapter with Rand was Mat referring to the Seanchan forces as “our forces”, which she basically interpreted as “haha you’re mine now, no take-backs”. And here, he does not call the Seanchan empress “my” Empress. He says she’s “their” Empress. The Empress of the Seanchan, who he is not currently identifying with, it would seem. So. That’s interesting.

We don’t get to see the conversation between Hawkwing and Tuon, of course, but what would Mat assume about what Hawkwing would tell Tuon? Why would Mat send Hawkwing to talk to her? The Heroes of the Horn follow Rand, pretty explicitly. They literally just recently scolded Mat for not appreciating Rand enough. They are aware of current events in the world and of the Seanchan Empire.

Which is to say... of course, Mat is assuming that Hawkwing will try to set Tuon straight on how to be an Empress without abusing millions of people under her power. Hawkwing told him that they would never fight for the Shadow. I think it’s reasonable for Mat to assume that he would disapprove of slavery. And Hawkwing’s hatred of Aes Sedai in his lifetime was canonically influenced by Ishamael, if I recall correctly, so the idea that Ishamael’s corruption is still influencing him in his Horn-form just seems like kinda silly to me. So. That’s my stance on that. Mat has clearly stated in recent chapters that he disapproves of the damane system, in particular, and that he wants to influence Tuon to soften her stance on Aes Sedai. So we know what Mat’s motivations are in sending Hawkwing off to talk to her. And it kinda fits Mat’s pattern of trying to use other people to influence Tuon to be less awful.

28. Rand has thought about Mat often, here in the battle with TDO. He thinks of him again -- Beneath them, on the battlefield, the Trollocs had fallen, beaten by a young gambler from the Two Rivers.

29. Oh, hey, Perrin just woke up. Page 853. He went to sleep on page 670. Nice long nap. Missed... a lot of stuff.

He learns that the battle at Merrilor has been won, but the battle at Thakan’dar, outside of Shayol Ghul, rages on. He gets his exhaustion washed away by one of the Aes Sedai and goes physically back into TAR (where he left Gaul to guard the cave where Rand fights).

30. In the waking world, Thom is the one guarding that cave entrance and he ponders the various ways that the ending of the world can be turned into a song, once this is all over.

31. Mat goes to Grady and tells him that he needs to be taken to Shayol Ghul. He’s brought Rand’s banner with him. Hanging out with Grady are Olver and Noal. The dice are still tumbling in Mat’s head. As far as I can tell, they haven’t stopped since Elayne asked him if he knew what he was doing.

Mat, on thinking about Noal/Jain becoming a Hero of the Horn:

Well, you wouldn’t find Mat trading places with him. Noal might enjoy it, but Mat wouldn’t dance at another man’s command. Not for immortality itself, no he wouldn’t.

Another data point that I’m placing into the pile.

Grady says that Traveling is wonky in that direction. Can’t be done.

Mat won’t accept that as an answer, and he gets Grady to take him (and Olver) as close as they can get -- a Seanchan scouting camp, a day away.

32. lol, we get a tiny glimpse into Fain the mist god-demon here. This just feels so anti-climatic, to still have Fain around at a time like this. Anyway, he’s basically a walking Shadar Logoth at this point. Fain kinda suffers from the same issues as Slayer, in that it feels like he’s a villain that the story grew past and yet he hung around anyway.

33. Gaul has been standing alone against Slayer all this time in TAR, fighting against him and protecting Rand, on his own, while Perrin was taking his restorative nap. But now Perrin is back to help. On the plus side, because of the time dilation stuff, only two hours has passed for Gaul in here.

34. Since he couldn’t take a gateway to Shayol Ghul, Mat is going by dragon to’raken. And, yes, Mat takes time out of his terror at being up so high to notice how pretty the morat’to’raken is, even as he thinks that anyone willing to do this must be “completely insane”. Olver, who is riding with them, is having a great time, though.

From up high, Mat sees a mist covering the valley below and gets a tingling that tells him... it’s about Fain and the dagger.

35. Then their to’raken gets hit by arrows, killing the rider or knocking her out. Mat undoes his straps and climbs over to take the to’raken’s reins. So he’s... he’s riding the closest thing that this world has to a dragon. Subtext, fun for the whole family.

He does his best to give them a gentle landing. It is not terribly gentle.

36. In the aftermath of the crash, Mat thinks that kidnapping Tuon (aka marrying her) is the worst decision that he’s ever made. Hmm. And this is after she ‘returned’ to the battlefield per their plan.

“That,” [Mat] finally groaned, “is the worst bloody idea I’ve ever had.” He hesitated. “Maybe the second worst.” He had decided to kidnap Tuon, after all.

And he doesn’t undercut that thought with any kind of caveat. He just lets it stand as he moves on to the next thing. Another interesting data point.

37. Mat literally panics when he realizes that Rand’s banner has gone missing during their dragon to’raken flight. Why does it seem like Sanderson is so much better at writing Cauthor-related scenes when Mat and Rand are separated from each other?

Olver points out that the swirling clouds above them are forming Rand’s sign, and then he blows the Horn again, for good measure.

38. Rand breaks out of his frozen battle with TDO and re-enters his own body. “From his watching of the Pattern, he knew that although only minutes had passed here since he’d entered, in the valley outside this cavern, days had passed, and farther out into the world, it had been much longer.”

He points Callandor at Moridin, and Moridin promptly throws a knife at Alanna.

Broke back to consciousness by Nynaeve’s herbs, Alanna pulls herself together long enough to release the bond she forced on Rand before she dies.

...I kinda feel the need to point out that Moiraine has done nothing but be a battery for Rand since she entered the cave with him.

I also feel bad for Alanna, who really disappeared from the story once Min was bonded to Rand and could take over as Cadsuane’s Rand mood-ring, and now is only here so that she can die. I have extremely large beef against Alanna for forcibly bonding Rand but it feels like the story really should have used that beat even more than it did, rather than it disappearing after WH.

39. Perrin kills Slayer. Finally. And then he pulls back out of TAR and is “on the rocks in the valley of Thakan’dar”, near where the Aiel are gathered.

40. Mat leaves Olver with the Heroes and meets up with Perrin at the mouth of the cave. So, yes, Mat and Perrin get another reunion. Why does Perrin! Get all the reunions! This is what I was talking about when I said how annoyed I was that Mat thinking about Rand tugging on him wouldn’t end up with any good payoff. All we get is yet another Mat and Perrin reunion.

That Rand is literally inside that cave and yet the three ta’veren do not reunite here is honestly somewhat infuriating for me. Genuinely those two things: the Emond’s Five reunite and the ta’veren three reunite should have been at the TOP of Sanderson’s priority list! There is a lot that I have enjoyed about AMoL but there are just way too many important emotional moments that were either skipped or didn’t happen at all but should have happened.

And, fuck, letting Mat and Rand have a scene that doesn’t take place during Mat’s weird Ebou Dar adventure. That would have been nice! Once Mat decides that he’s not going to be a lapdog for the Seanchan/Tuon anymore, his storyline and his PoV get so much better and so much more enjoyable and I am just... eternal bitterness that our only Mat & Rand reunion was plopped into our most lapdoggy-Mat era.

Mat came here specifically to protect Rand and then he never sees him! That is just fucking awful. They deserved a better reunion. What was the point of having the Heroes scold Mat if we didn’t actually get to see Mat and Rand interact again after it? This is kinda a place where the epilogue is mostly at fault -- Mat just strolling off to plan a fireworks show for Tuon post-Last Battle conflicts pretty hard with him spending time with his dying best friend, tonally-speaking -- but that really just makes it all the more frustrating that the only Cauthor reunion took place when Mat was in his worst Seanchan-era.

41. Aviendha attacks Graendal with an exploding gateway; and Mat kills Fain/Mordeth/etc.

And Perrin almost takes off to go searching for Faile but manages to resist the urge: If Rand died, then he would lose Faile. And everything else.

Yes. I have tried to yell this at the fictional characters so many times: if the world dies, then so does your sweetheart! It’s nice that Perrin finally listened.

42. And for his final trick, Moridin grabs Callandor, and Moiraine and Nynaeve spring their trap, using the flaw in Callandor to take control of the ‘circle’ that Moridin has accidentally formed with them. With Moridin having pulled the True Power, Rand is now able to enter the link, and Moiraine and Nynaeve can feed him all three sets of Power: saidar, saidin, and the True Power. Light explodes from him, and from Shayol Ghul, as Rand uses the True Power to protect himself as he reaches through the Bore and grabs onto the Dark One.

43. We get a quick beat of people reacting to the light:

Elayne is on the battlefield of Merrilor, as they search for the living among the dead. She feels the “swelling of power in Rand” and her attention focuses on him.

Thom shields his eyes as the light bursts from the entrance to the Pit of Doom.

Min appears to have managed to get away from the Seanchan for now, changing linens for the wounded, perhaps also on the Field of Merrilor.

Aviendha is drawn back from the darkness of near-death by the light and the warmth of Rand inside her, and realizes that her explosion twisted the compulsion weave so that Graendal compelled herself to worship Aviendha. Awkward!

Logain sees the light and knows that it’s what was meant by the message that Egwene sent, and he breaks the seals on the Dark One’s prison.

44. In TAR, Perrin runs across Lanfear. Together, they walk into Shayol Ghul, and we learn that she apparently compelled Perrin a little while ago? He’s able to pull out of it by reminding himself of his duty and of Faile, and he snaps her neck, killing her.

*squints at the scene*

Yeah, I mean. That’s certainly still what looks like happened? Sorry, Sanderson, I’m not seeing your hints here about Lanfear tricking Perrin and surviving.

45. Rand holds the Dark One in his hand. Or the representation of his hand. And, once again, when Rand tells TDO how pitiful he is, all I see are echoes of the Seanchan:

You would have enslaved me as you would have enslaved the others. You cannot give oblivion. Rest is not yours. Only torment.

Rand can feel himself dying, his life blood slipping away. Realizing that the world that he’d seen without the Dark One would have been the truth, he knows that he cannot kill it. So he thrusts TDO back into his prison, braids saidar and saidin together to reforge a new shield onto the Bore.

With this new form of the Power, Rand pulled together the rent that had been made here long ago by foolish men.

He understood, finally, that the Dark One was not the enemy.

It never had been.

(because it only reflected the evil that people were already capable of)

46. The black hole inside the cave expands, as Moiraine and Nynaeve run for the safety of the cave entrance.

47. And now we are at the epilogue.

Much like I did with The Last Battle chapter, I’ll take the epilogue in sections by character. Rand & co will go last, this time.

Perrin

The spirits of the dead wolves fade back into the dream. Perrin voluntarily worries about Rand? Wow, that feels kinda out of character for Perrin, who has always been way better at pushing away thoughts of Rand than Mat has been, but I guess let’s go with it. It seems to exist to tell us that Perrin no longer sees color swirls and no longer feels any tugging towards anything. “Those seemed like very bad signs.”

“Have you sent for the three?”

What a weird way to ask “do Rand’s girlfriends know that he’s dying?”

I’m going to take a minute and count up the PoV & page counts everyone gets in the epilogue.

Rand: 3 PoVs (4 pages total)

Mat: 2 PoVs (1 1/5 pages)

Perrin: 3 PoVs (6 1/5 pages)

Loial: 1 PoV (3 pages)

Moghedien: 1 PoV (1 page)

Nynaeve: 1 PoV (2 pages)

Birgitte: 1 PoV (1 page)

Tam: 1 PoV (1 page)

Min: 1 PoV (1/2 page)

Cadsuane: 1 PoV (1 page)

That’s a lot of Perrin, comparatively-speaking.

Anyway, Perrin finds Faile, happy ending, etc.

...oh, I just looked it up and Sanderson answered some questions about the epilogue (tor[dot]com/2013/01/23/brandon-sandersons-wheel-of-time-answers-from-torchat/)! He added Perrin’s and Loial’s scene(s). Ha! I knew that Loial was a Sanderson addition because he uses “Matrim” instead of Mat (that is, imo, by far the easiest ‘tell’ of a Sanderson scene -- someone using ‘Matrim’ when they normally wouldn’t). And the Perrin scenes make sense too because it really builds off of and finishes the narrative thread that was at play earlier in the book for Perrin, which was presumably all written by Sanderson.

Mat

Mat strolls away from the aftermath of having killed Padan Fain, calling the dagger “a gamble I don’t want to touch”. The dice stop rolling in Mat’s head after he decides not to pick up the dagger. Hmm. Mat avoiding becoming the new Fain for the Fourth Age?

After that, we skip to his scene with Tuon. And there are only those two scenes with Mat in the epilogue -- killing Fain and finding out that he’s been baby-trapped into the Seanchan Empire. Though Perrin confirms in his own PoV scenes that he no longer gets the swirls or the tugging, we don’t get the same kind of confirmation in Mat’s (very short) scenes.

I will say that there is more subtlety in Mat’s ending here than I had remembered -- I was extremely unhappy about his ending but this marriage is pretty troubled already in the text, and so it’s not really the book that tries to pretend this is a happy “babies ever after” ending for Mat; I feel like that’s maybe more of a vibe that I got from fans at the time, rather than from the text. There are a lot of “male power fantasy” fans who just really like that Mat ends up married to an Empress and commanding vast armies, I think, at least from what I’ve seen around the internet (and especially back when the series was originally published).

And Mat specifically forces a grin at the news that Fortuona is pregnant, so he’s not genuinely happy about it (and we got things in recent chapters like Mat thinking that kidnapping Tuon was the worst idea he’d ever had).

But, honestly, I do still hate that it happens. I hate it up one side and down the other. It sucks as an ending for Mat so much. Miserable marriage, awful wife, horrible shackles tying him to a terrible fascist empire built on slavery.

That being said... just Tuon’s rule is incredibly fragile, this marriage is also incredibly fragile (which is probably why Jordan slapped a baby in there to begin with -- otherwise, given his general misery level in many of the Seanchan-related scenes, it’s difficult to see how Mat could bring himself to stick with Tuon for long enough to do whatever plot-related things Jordan was imagining would have happened in the outriggers -- the baby is a trap for Mat, not from Tuon but from Jordan).

There are still so many things about the Seanchan that could end up being deal-breakers for Mat if he finds out about them!

(ex. Bodewhin Cauthon is never mentioned in the books after Knife of Dreams, so it is entirely possible that she is among the new damane who were taken by the Seanchan in recent days, and Mat might end up seeing his sister with a collar around her neck post-canon. How would he react to that? And to Tuon’s unwillingness to let her go?)

In addition to Mat potentially seeing people he knows and cares about in collars, we also have the possibility of him learning just how brutal Tuon’s attack against the White Tower was (there isn’t any indication that he knows about the attack at all yet); or Talmanes telling him about Verin’s letter and Mat realizing how damaging his fear of Aes Sedai has been for the world; or further in the future there’s Mat’s potential reaction to the lethal political wrangling that Imperial heirs are meant to get up to (he was disturbed enough that Galgan liking him only means that subpar assassins will be sent against him -- when he realizes that Tuon might well encourage their own kids to kill each other to win her favor, it’s very hard to see him brushing that off). Plus he’s regained his sense of disgust over the damane system. So there are a lot of powderkegs waiting to be blown sky-high for Mat, post-canon.

idk, Mat’s storyline is maybe the one where I most have to untangle whether I dislike it more because I feel like it was executed poorly or if I dislike it because it sets up a situation that will never get resolution. And how connected are those things?

A big frustration that I’ve had with how Jordan and then Sanderson handled Mat’s storyline over the course of the last few books of the series was how many shortcuts were taken with his character and how artificial forcing him into the Seanchans’ arms has felt to me.

a. Mat getting trapped in Ebou Dar and then all the characters involved taking a vow of silence when it came to telling Rand about it. Mat getting trapped in Ebou Dar is plot nonsense: relatively forgivable. But having multiple characters being given the opportunity to change that situation and just... not bothering to do it is... that’s a characterization issue. It severely impacted my feelings about Nynaeve for Jordan to turn her into the kind of person who just doesn’t bother to tell Rand that his best friend was left behind in that kind of perilous situation. Plot manipulations... that’s just how the plot works. But over and over, characters got broken or bent for the purpose of jamming Mat into the Seanchan storyline.

b. Setalle Anan is a minor character, so I get why people don’t care about her, but she’s a character who pretty much completely reverses her characterization between WH & CoT (in WH, she is anti-slavery and finds Mat charming and trustworthy; in CoT & KoD, she protects and waits on Tuon while treating Mat like the dangerous one, including betraying Mat’s secrets to Tuon -- and her betrayals are never acknowledged by the text in any way; she just keeps on being treated as if she’s a friendly supporting character) and, from what I could see, it’s just so obviously done in order to protect Tuon from ever having even a sliver of character growth rather than it making sense for Setalle Anan’s character.

c. We keep tiptoeing up to the brink of Actually Having A Plot Happen with the Seanchan and then backing away at the last minute without really having a good reason to do it. Incredibly frustrating. This was one of my main annoyances with CoT & KoD. And in AMoL, both Rand and Egwene inexplicably back down when they have Tuon on the ropes and off-balance.

d. Mat’s teleportation to Ebou Dar in-between Towers of Midnight and A Memory of Light. I’ve talked about this one a lot but yeah. It’s just... really bad? I do suspect that Sanderson couldn’t figure out any way to actually make it believable that Mat would go to the Seanchan and that’s why he had it all happen off-the-page. But the careless damage that it does to Mat’s characterization is just horrific. Mat gets ripped out of the action of the first third of the book, and doesn’t get to the Last Battle itself until the book is more than half over. Once Mat is actually engaging in the Last Battle, his characterization steadies a lot but especially those first four chapters with Mat, it feels like we’re only working with half of his characterization and the other half has vanished somewhere in-between ToM & AMoL.

(and if Mat hadn’t been cut-and-pasted from the Tower of Ghenjei over to Ebou Dar, then we would have had a full reunion at Merrilor. So I’m annoyed/bitter about that too)

I could keep going but... let’s keep it at four issues for right now so that we’re not here all day, lol.

All of those issues are problems that I had with the execution of the storyline.

I am not inherently opposed to depressing endings for characters that I love but... it has to be done well. It has to make sense. And Mat’s ending just... required cutting away too many parts of him (and other characters) for it to make sense to me.

But though it is not always handled well (to put it mildly), Mat’s storyline with Tuon (and Tylin before her) is an example of the ‘typical gender roles are swapped’ done in a way that is more down to the very core of his storyline than a lot of other storylines, which are more on the surface.

He’s much less politically powerful than his spouse and needs to use guile, intrigue, and manipulation to get his way and try to persuade her to a gentler and kinder path than her warlike nature naturally aligns towards.

He undergoes something of a gender-swapped version of “The Taming of the Shrew” storyline, in which a fiercely independent person gets coerced/’tamed’ into being a properly submissive spouse (or, depending on your interpretation, into pretending to be one) -- many of the tricks that Tuon and Tylin use are similar to what Petruchio does to Katherine in the play. Mat gets publicly humiliated and starved by Tylin into submitting to her (which is what Petruchio does to Katherine during/after their wedding), and isolated away from his past connections during his time with Tuon, where he constantly has to act to try to figure out how to appease her without provoking her temper (Petruchio compares taming Katherine to falcon-taming, but Tuon would probably compare it to horse-training or damane-breaking), and Petruchio changes her name from ‘Katherine’ to ‘Kate’, which fits pretty well with Tuon’s insistence on never once calling Mat ‘Mat’.

Plus Mat getting his name changed to indicate that he now ‘belongs’ to Tuon’s people fits into this general category --  and historically, in the culture that Jordan belonged to, that’s normally a role given to women, to be given a new name that shows that they are now of their husband’s people and not their father’s; it’s usually their last name but, in the not too-distant past (and maybe currently in some places as well, idk), at least in the USA, women were often referred to as Mrs. “husband’s first name” “husband’s last name” with none of their own name making it into the address.

But a lot of the issues that I have with how this was written is that it felt like Mat was behaving like his hand was forced even when it wasn’t. Which is definitely a writing issue -- it’s a similar issue to the one that I have with the Rand & Min romance, for example, where Min desperately chases after something even though she doesn’t really want it at the start. Prophecy gets used as a way to skip actually writing important character or relationship beats, instead of prophecy being one of many tools in the writer’s kit.

So, yeah, it really is the execution of the storyline that is the biggest problem for me with Mat & Tuon, and the way it feels like he is pulled away from his other attachments whether or not that makes any narrative or character sense.

I really hope that the show does better with them, and with Mat in his endgame (should we get there, etc.).

I will say that I do think that Sanderson handled the romance better than Jordan did; the main problem was that it was already fundamentally broken by how the relationship was written in CoT & KoD, imo (the KoD collaring chapter in particular made me despise them as a pairing and my feelings never recovered from that moment). But in Sanderson’s books, we actually see the effects of Tuon compromising with Mat during various points of the Last Battle (though we see don’t actually see their private discussions and/or arguments that lead to those compromises), and there’s always a throughline showing how miserable the Seanchan lifestyle is for Mat, and those are two things that were majorly missing from CoT & KoD for me, but that make sense as the only way to make the romance even half-believable for Mat’s pre-established characterization from WH and earlier.

The three big issues that I have with Sanderson’s Mat are: the terrible first chapter of TGS (with the gross sexism); the terrible first chapter of AMoL (now featuring inexplicable teleportation); and the deep deep disservice done to Mat and Rand’s friendship (Rand got a personal goodbye with EVERYONE important to him EXCEPT Mat! And Mat got a personal reunion with everyone important to him, except Rand! All they got was the negotiation scene that was ultimately all about Fortuona and the Seanchan treaty, with Mat and Rand’s friendship being the set dressing around the scene).

But the relationship with Tuon honestly... makes a lot more sense in this book than it did in CoT & KoD (once we work past the brain-breaking logistics of the first chapter or so). There are TONS of hints that Mat has uncomfortable vibes going on underneath his casual exterior, plus Tuon actually does make some attempts at compromising with him, and if the well hadn’t been poisoned by how much I despised CoT/KoD-era Mat & Tuon then... I might have had a chance at enjoying AMoL-era Mat & Tuon for the toxic trainwreck that it is.

But, like all the characters & relationships in AMoL, we skip some pretty big moments in the Mat & Tuon relationship -- we see the effects of them compromising but we never actually see them coming to that compromise in private, which I feel like we needed after how unyielding and frankly how annoying Jordan made Tuon about everything.

We do end up with a Mat & a ‘Fortuona’ who remain at cross-purposes -- Mat continues to think of and refer to her as ‘Tuon’ while Fortuona has kinda reversed from thinking of him as a ‘buffoon’ to instead believing that he has the same kind of practical motivations behind his choices that she does, which is also not accurate. But Sanderson did add in some actual give-and-take to their relationship, which Jordan never seemed willing to do, so the AMoL-era Mat & Tuon is a lot more genuinely engaging for me, even if I do still think that they are one of the most obviously doomed fictional marriages that I have ever seen.

Final Mat-related question for the moment: the Seanchan Empire is based on authoritarian governments throughout history, so does how the Seanchan Empire operates mimic the behavior of a cult?

The popular model for cults is the BITE model, which was developed by a man who was deprogrammed from the Moon cult in 1976 (Steve Hassan). It’s an acronym:

Behavior, Information, Thought, and Emotion control. BITE.

Do the Seanchan seek to control people’s behavior? (yes) Do they seek to control the flow of information that the people under them learn? (yes) Do they seek to have their members reject critical thought and only apply to the group-think? (yes)  Do they manipulate the emotions of their followers, usually instilling fear or paranoia about outsiders? (yes)

We know from earlier books that the Seanchan culture =/= the Seanchan Empire. There are constant civil wars and uprisings in their native land. This is explicitly why they are such good soldiers, because they are always fighting each other. Yet they present themselves as a monolith when they come to the Westlands, bragging about how they’re here to bring ‘order’ to a lawless continent. What they say about themselves does not match the truth of what else we know about them.

How does the Seanchan Empire exercise its control over its people? Everything I included here is something I think we’ve see the Empire do, but I did bold ones that are particularly blatant in the text.

Behavior control: Control types of clothing and hairstyles; permission required for major decisions; rewards and punishments used to modify behaviors both positive and negative; discourage individualism; encourage group-think; impose rigid rules and regulations; punish disobedience by beating, torture, burning, cutting, rape, or tattooing/branding; threaten harm to family and friends; encourage and engage in corporal punishment; instill dependency and obedience; kidnapping; beating; torture; murder

Information control: Distort information to make it more acceptable; systematically lie to the cult members; minimize or discourage access to non-cult sources of information; ensure that information is not freely accessible; control information at different levels and missions within group; allow only leadership to decide who needs to know what and when; encourage spying on other members; impose a buddy system to monitor and control member; report deviant thoughts, feelings, and actions to leadership; ensure that individual behavior is monitored by group; extensive use of cult-generated propaganda

Thought control: require members to internalize the group’s doctrine as truth; adopting the group’s ‘map of reality’ as reality; instill black and white thinking; organize people into us vs them; change person’s name and identity; use of loaded language and cliches which constrict knowledge; encourage only ‘good and proper’ thoughts; thought-stopping techniques to shut down reality testing: denial, rationalization, justification, wishful thinking; rejection of rational analysis, critical thinking, constructive criticism; forbid critical questions about leader, doctrine, or policy; labeling alternative belief systems as illegitimate, evil, or not useful

Emotion control: teach emotion-stopping techniques to block feelings of homesickness, anger, doubt; make the person feel that problems are always their own fault, never the leader’s or the group’s fault; promote feelings of guilt or unworthiness; instill fear, such as fear of: thinking independently, the outside world, leaving or being shunned by the group; ritualistic and sometimes public confessions of sins; phobia indoctrination: inculcating irrational fears about leaving the group or questioning the leader’s authority, no happiness or fulfillment possible outside of group; shunning of those who leave; being told there is never a legitimate reason to leave.

“Destructive mind control can be determined when the overall effect of these four components promotes dependency and obedience to some leader or cause; it is not necessary for every single item on the list to be present.“ (in this case, that would be to the Empress, ~may she live forever~)

(all taken from freedomofmind(dot)com -- not linking because sometimes outside links make tumblr act weird about posts)

On the page, we witness the slow process of Leilwin née Egeanin pulling away and deprogramming from the Seanchan Empire, and then in this book, it feels like Mat has begun that process as well. And it feels like they started the same way -- because of a massive overreach by Tuon, the leader of the cult/Empire. Leilwin née Egeanin gets humiliated and punished by Tuon for no reason; just because Tuon felt like being a brat that day, and that moment of humiliation -- the re-naming and the forcing of the jewelry on her in a way that treated her like a slave -- was really what made Leilwin née Egeanin start to pull away from the other Seanchan and go into the path that eventually led to her being, however briefly, Egwene’s Warder.

For Mat, it really seems like whatever happened in that ‘not pleasant’ discussion that he and Tuon had after she berated him for, essentially, prioritizing Egwene’s privacy over Tuon’s desire to get information from him... that discussion (that we didn’t get to see) really seemed to lead to the more combative Mat who refused to back down and roll over for her. Mat still feels a level of protectiveness and affection for Tuon through the rest of the book but he stops letting her push him around and he starts acting like he cares about doing something about the slavery system in the Seanchan Empire again, which was a part of him that we lost at the start of CoT and I have hated so much that we lost in his character. But it slowly grows back over the course of the second half of AMoL.

Again, my big regret here is that the Mat & Rand reunion happened before Mat started his spine regrowth program. Even though Mat does start to push back on Tuon more here, he still never finished several of his character arcs that were set up over the course of the entire series: namely his own mistrust of Aes Sedai and his fear of Rand as a channeler. Both of those fears were things that he was actively working in the text and that he abruptly backtracked on when Tuon was introduced into his life (because being chill with channelers and being chill with people who enslave channelers is contradictory and so Jordan decided... to go with being chill with slavers). So those are two flapping loose ends for his character at the end of this series that never got to fully be addressed because the ‘romance’ was prioritized over Mat’s characterization.

Loial

Loial is looking for people to help him with accounts for his book and “Perrin ignored me and Mat cannot be found”.

Mat just completely disappearing from the Westlands side of things to go set up a fireworks show for Tuon (and asking Aludra to be the one to set it up, which just seems kinda mean, considering that the Seanchan pretty much completely eliminated the Illuminators) is just... frustrating. Apparently Mat visited the battlefield here “smiling and healthy” but then vanished. So, in theory, there’s an empty place here where Mat might have visited Rand and talked to Elayne & co one last time, since Rand is in the main healing tent on this battlefield.

Loial also notes how odd it is that Elayne and Min don’t seem to feel any urge to go in to hold Rand’s hand while he’s dying (Aviendha is getting her legs looked at). I know, Loial! They’re the worst fake-grievers who ever lived, I swear. If the whole point is to trick people into thinking Rand is dead, then it might be a good idea to... actually try to trick people?

Moghedien

In which Tuon’s people are already breaking the terms of the treaty by snatching up channelers from the battlefield at Merrilor. No hundred years of peace, Rand. I’m sorry.

Rand (& all those who say ‘goodbye’ to him, or who don’t)

Rand leaves the mountain, slipping on his own blood and carrying a body. Shayol Ghul is trying to close before he can leave and he only barely makes it out in time before the cave snaps shut behind him.

Moiraine tells Rand that he did well, and Nynaeve tries desperately to keep him alive, but eventually, and without ever waking back up, ‘Rand’ dies.

Elayne, Aviendha, and Min do the absolute worst job of playing grieving widows ever. Like, if Rand had actually died, I could understand this better. Because they might really be in shock. But they know he’s alive! And their whole job is to convince people that they absolutely believe that he’s dead! Just... pinch your arm until you start crying! This is literally the most suspicious way that they could have gone about things -- Nynaeve is already extremely suspicious of how they’re acting. Seriously, she’s gonna wiggle the truth out of them pretty much five seconds post-epilogue.

Birgitte comes to say goodbye to Elayne because she’s about to be reborn... and to mention that she’s tossed away the Horn of Valere. Sure hope that Elayne doesn’t regret that in ten years when they’re at war with the Seanchan!

Tam hopes that now his son can get some rest. My hope is that Rand will, you know, go and talk to his dad after he’s had a chance to recover from the stress and trauma of the Last Battle. Also, Tam... you’re gonna have grandkids. No thoughts on that, I see. Still no thoughts on that.

The funeral scene frustrates me to pieces.

Honestly, the most frustrating thing about the funeral scene is how easy it would have been to casually mention that Mat and Perrin were there? Like, that’s ONE SENTENCE. Just... the erasure of those years of friendship, because heterosexual marriage, in Jordan’s fictional world, meant that close male-male friendships just stopped existing. It’s depressing. That CADSUANE is considered to have more right to be at Rand’s funeral than his childhood friends who were also vital parts of the Last Battle. It’s insulting. And apparently Tam organized it? But he couldn’t be bothered to invite his kid’s best friends. Definitely a place where Sanderson should have done some editing of the original epilogue. One sentence is all that was needed.

*sigh*

I do think that Sanderson did try to set up why Mat wouldn’t have gone -- we have seen Mat, in several of his recent PoV scenes, swallowing his grief over losing people he loves and not letting it appear to affect him openly, even as it rocked him deeply, so Rand’s death would be another of those gut-punches that he would do his best to pretend didn’t happen. But, fuck... it just sucks that the friendship between Mat and Rand is such a sublimated thing in this last book, when Rand and Mat both got to much more openly deal with pretty much every other important relationship that they had (though I will note that Rand and Sulin never got a reunion either! Rude!).

Perrin didn’t get anything like that kind of subtextual explanation, but Perrin actually did visit Rand’s healing tent while he was dying, so at least he got that much. *shrugs*

Min thinking here about how the assembled people expect a ‘show’ of grief -- yes, they have all found it exceedingly odd that none of you appear to be grieving the man you said that you loved.

Rand wakes up in his new body, washed clean of the wounds that he’d taken over the course of the series. No more missing hand; no more agonizing pain in his side. 

I have to admit “she left me some money” feels like a pretty anti-climatic way for Alivia to “help Rand die”? She wasn’t really involved in his “death” at all -- it was really Moiraine and Nynaeve who were the ones who ‘helped’ him die. I mean, any one of Min, Elayne, or Aviendha could have left him some money, since they all know he’s alive. I wonder if Jordan was originally thinking that Alivia would be the one joining Rand & Nynaeve for the cave journey, and it was Sanderson who decided that Moiraine would be more appropriate? Nothing distinctively Moiraine happens in that cave, not the way that Nynaeve was needed to be there to heal Alanna without using the Power. Like, this poor woman was harassed by Min for a handful of books because of that prophecy and all she did was leave Rand some money! Min better find her and apologize to her! (I already know that she won’t)

Haha, so confession: my brain edited out that new!Rand had lost saidin. My brain was just like “nope, of course he can still channel”. Personally, I’m not a huge fan of Rand not being a channeler at the end of the story, so that part I’m not thrilled about. He does have his newfound ability to use the threads of reality to basically channel anyway, though. Or at least I assume that’s what the pipe scene is about.

And then his thought, too, about ‘which’ of the women will follow him - yeah, you’re right that thinking that means you’ve gotten a swollen head! They all have responsibilities! Though since Rand leaves so abruptly here, there’s a lot that he doesn’t know, and the two things that most affect this specific question are: the extent of Aviendha’s injuries and the extent of Min’s involvement with the Seanchan. Literally zero of them is in a position to go chasing after Rand, even if they wanted to! Rand is the one who has no obligations and can easily visit them if he wants (well, maybe not ‘easily’ if Min does end up in the Empire).

But I can still remember, wow, what a relief it was that he was alive at the end, and free and unbound. The rest can be... adjusted by post-canon theories.

In terms of ‘things that aren’t covered but that we can probably assume’:

It does look like Elayne ended up with all three of the medallion copies -- the one Mellar used on her, the one that was on Birgitte’s body, and the third was with Lan and she probably reclaimed it (there’s nothing to indicate that Mat spoke with Lan and got it back), so the slaver empress never gets that medallion that Mat wanted to give her back in ToM. Tragic.

Despite Elayne and Tam speaking frequently over the course of AMoL, they somehow never speak about the whole grandkids issue. I feel like we can assume that this happens at some point, post-epilogue? Elayne and Aviendha both seem like they would go back to Caemlyn to rebuild. And Tam doesn’t really have a reason to go back to the Two Rivers at this point, so I can see him ending in Caemlyn too because: grandkids.

Technically, Min has slipped the Seanchan net at this point and could just not go back if she wants, so she can either go back to the Seanchan or she could go to Caemlyn with Elayne & Aviendha, but if she does stay away from the Seanchan, Tuon is going to try to get her back. Unless she was super-turned off by Min actually standing up to her in front of all the Blood and hastily makes Selucia her Truthspeaker again. That’s another possibility.

Ah, since we were told earlier that Melaine was about ready to give birth and Birgitte tells Elayne that she’s about to be reborn: Melaine might be her mom. I feel like Birgitte being reborn as Aiel sounds kinda fun.

I feel like Rand would not actually enjoy traveling all on his own after a while, given what we know about him, so he would probably end up visiting Caemlyn. And given how suspicious Nynaeve already is in the epilogue, I’m going to guess that she knows the truth by the time Rand goes to Caemlyn.

If Mat decides to leave the Seanchan behind at any point, he will probably also go to Caemlyn, and Mat and Rand can finally have a good reunion.

All in all, there are things about the ending that don’t thrill me but there are also things I really like. And having an ending at all helps in terms of sparking the imagination for fanfiction or meta or... an Amazon Prime television series. I don’t think we would have ever gotten the series if the books had stayed unfinished.

The epilogue checklist (and my theories about how it affected AMoL)

So, while reading AMoL, it felt like Sanderson took a couple of shortcuts in order to bruteforce the characters into reaching their epilogue endpoints, because there simply wasn’t enough time for it to happen naturally. This is my list of things that I believe got shortchanged due to “writing to the epilogue”:

Fortuona is pregnant in the epilogue: at the start of AMoL, Mat gets teleported to Ebou Dar without any kind of narrative or logistical explanation (contradicting his PoV chapter in the ending of ToM, where he was planning to return to Caemlyn, which would have thrust him directly into the main stories at play in the prologue & early chapters). I feel like part of it is that Sanderson really wanted to get that bun in the oven as quickly as possible.

“they expected something from the three of them; a show of some kind” : There’s just a wide acknowledgement in the epilogue that literally everyone knows that Rand has three girlfriends, so everyone just already knows in AMoL that Rand is in a relationship with three women now. No need for anyone to have emotional reactions to it, please! (not even Rand’s literal dad!) This one also ends up being weird because it seems to change from moment-to-moment whether or not the whole army knows that Rand has three girlfriends (if everyone knows already, why is Rand playing spy games with Elayne?).

Min is Fortuona’s pregnancy test: Min instantly respects ~Fortuona~ as an empress even while thinking that she doesn’t normally respect nobility. Bizarre, considering Min’s own history with the Seanchan from Falme.

Mat kills Fain: we got two super-quick glimpses of Fain earlier in the book to set up this moment but Mat had so much other stuff to do that Sanderson couldn’t really do more than say: yeah, Fain exists and he’s bad, lol.

Minor elements I think were affect by the epilogue:

Rand is still pondering over the idea of choosing between Elayne, Aviendha, or Min: we get Rand’s going “am I allowed to love three women? idk sounds fake” when he and Aviendha sleep together in chapter 4, which just was kinda silly. I think the epilogue is also the genesis of the vibe where Rand appears to consider “having sex with Min for months” to not be any kind of “choice” when it comes to the three women, but having a romantic interlude with Aviendha or Elayne would signal a choice -- because the epilogue acts like the situation between Rand and each of the three women is roughly equal, so “months of sex with Min” appears to hold the same emotional weight to Rand as “pining from afar with two nights of intense passion” does when he thinks of either Elayne or Aviendha.

Mat has no thoughts about any of the Westlands characters: I think that this is more of a subconscious effect -- as he focused more on the final book, I think Sanderson focused on the relationships highlighted in the all-important epilogue... and the only person that Mat cares about in the epilogue is himself *cough* I mean, Fortuona, of course, lol. In both TGS and in ToM, Mat’s deep affection for various Westlands characters was constantly on display, as shown in his own ‘loves lying to himself’ way. This gets curtailed in AMoL, especially in the early Ebou Dar chapters.

I think I’m going to let myself might let myself marinate over the various books before I post a final list of my personal ranking of the books.

One thing that I’ve really noticed is that, more than any other character, the quality of Mat’s storyline has a huge impact on my overall enjoyment of the book. In CoT & KoD, Elayne and Egwene (both of whom I love), got pretty good stories. But Mat’s story was so bad that it made it difficult for me to enjoy the good parts. But maybe some time just letting myself think about the series as a whole will balance out my thoughts. Does that make Mat my favorite character or just my most impactful character? idk. I feel like Elayne or Rand would more consistently hit the top of my favorites.

Overall top five characters throughout the entire series:

1. Elayne

2. Rand

3. Egwene

4. Mat (might be higher if not for CoT & KoD)

5. Nynaeve (might be higher if she didn’t basically disappear after she married Lan)

Then, moving on to the next favs, I think there’s more uncertainty there for me:

6. Verin, probably, but it could be Moiraine. Let’s say they tie.

7. Aviendha and Siuan can both go here. Both generally very good and interesting characters.

8. You know, I had a real turnaround with Gawyn in this reread of the books; I’m gonna put him here. He can share this spot with Leilwin née Egeanin.

9. Loial, probably. Needed more PoV; that would have been nice. I’ll put Faile here with him.

10.  For more minor characters, I gotta give a shout-out to Narishma (favorite Asha’man), Sulin, Pevara during her Black Ajah Hunter phase, Olver is really good in his sections here in AMoL, Asmodean for being my favorite fail-Forsaken and Moghedien for sticking it out until the very end, Elaida honestly very fun PoV as far as villains go, Teslyn and Joline for being troopers and enduring Mat Cauthon at his very worst, my girl Berelain who always deserved better, the ‘Finn in general always lots of fun, Aludra and Juilin who always kept their integrity intact.

[dilfdarthvader]

The official 'OP has read 500 Merlin fics in a month' rec list

I am truly deep in Merthur hell and have recently hit around ~500 fics read for this fandom so far. As such, I wanted to compile my favorite Merthur fics so far.

(if y'all like rec lists, i might do an obikin rec list too!)

Secretary by Candymacaron

rating: E

Summary: Job-hunting has familiarized Merlin with rejection. Most of the listings in the paper require qualifications he lacks, or prior job experience no eighteen year old would have. One listing sticks out at Merlin—a simple advert, with the word ‘Secretary’ written in bold typeface. (A Secretary Movie/BBC Merlin AU in which a fragile Merlin learns to love his job, himself, getting spanked, and his boss. All in that order.)

one of the first fics i read in this fandom and!!!! it's such a good secretary au (which is always a classic for any kink readers)

The Wedding Night by s0mmerspr0ssen

rating: E

ship: Gwen/Merlin/Arthur

Summary: The consummation of a royal marriage must be witnessed by a third party. Naturally, for Arthur and Gwen, that witness is Merlin.

My bookmark note read: "did i start watching merlin for the show or for the smut fic? this fic makes me think it's the latter". This ship is just SO GOOD too.

Next to You (It's the Rule) by LunaMyLove

rating: T

summary: Arthur and Merlin have a special relationship. They always have, even when they were prince and servant. While many question it when first noticing, eventually it becomes an understanding in Camelot—and even among some other countries—that where there is Arthur, there is Merlin. And, where there is Merlin, there is Arthur. Or Arthur and Merlin's relationship as witnessed and explained by others. Also, or Five times someone realizes that Merlin is the Queen, one time Merlin realizes it himself, and one time he owns it.

such a fluffy read that had me giggling and kicking my feet in the air and twirling my hair. instant reread

all the scars at the start (I could’ve showed you) by AgapantoBlu

rating: T

ship: Gwen/Merlin/Arthur

Summary: [In which Gwaine accidentally brings Merlin's dead girlfriend back to life as a ghost. Leave it to Arthur and Gwen to overreact over every small thing, but being very chill about the very big thing.]

you'll need to be logged into AO3 to read this, but boy is it worth it. i was sobbing. full on sobbing. 10/10

Glow Gold by BelleCrow

rating: E

Summary: Merlin takes the final battle into his own hands after Mordred's blade finds Arthur's heart. Wielding power over life and death there on the battlefield, Merlin's magic is revealed. But the only surviving witness is Arthur, and he has carefully spun the tale to keep Merlin's magic a secret. The King is determined to keep it so until he can drag the truth from Merlin's lips and press his own revelations back into his sorcerer.

this fic gave me a magic kink. i had to keep pausing reading bc holy shit.

Fit for a King by Clea2011

rating: E

Summary: Merlin is a prize fit for a king. But the king he was intended for hasn't taken that prize. When the king of the faeries loses his big-eared, argumentative and troublesome bedmate, he orders his people to find a replacement. Nobody disobeys Oberon. Ever. But Merlin is Arthur's.

FAE! FICS! i love love love this fic and it was so fun and full of some fun familiar characters

so close and I'm halfway to it by ariadne_odair

rating: M

Summary: Merlin swears he doesn’t go looking for trouble, but it seems to follow him around regardless. After being ambushed by a group of bandits, it’s up to Arthur and Merlin to rescue the rest of the knights. Of course this involves journeying through a forest full of magical creatures- because nothing in Merlin’s life is ever easy. That would be more than enough for Merlin to deal with, but nights alone in the wilderness and escaping death every five minutes, have a funny way of bringing two people together. Merlin doesn’t want to reveal his true feelings to Arthur, but then he never wanted to reveal his magic to anyone, either. And look how that turned out. It's a lot easier to manage Merlin's secrets between them when they're surrounded by nothing but trees. But Arthur and Merlin will have to return to Camelot eventually. Merlin's destiny might just be closer than he thinks.

and finally, the first fic in a decade that kept me up until 2am to read. this fic made me fall in love with fics again.

[starwarsbean]

Love Against the Odds

-Pairing: Tech x F! Reader

-Warnings: Fake Dating! Modern Universe! Slowburn! Smut & Fluff! Sexual Tension! NSFW.

- A/N: Hi to those who read this! Sorry for the delay but here’s the next chapter. I miss the bad batch and the finale was amazing. The next chapters will be more detailed. 18+!

-Summary: Tech is a successful CEO of a technology company. His commitment to his work has given him success in his career. However, he is not interested in trying love. Tech neglecting the important parts of life. His brothers urge him to give it a shot, as they believe finding a romantic partner will make him happy. Tech comes up with a brilliant idea to fake date to trick his brothers.

Chapter 5

Being so productive at work had put a lot of strain into your day. Loads of paperwork and never ending gossip in your workplace. Digging through loads of files and documents finding that one piece of information you needed. Your own thoughts drift off to him. Tech. His honey comb brown eyes. The way he would half smile would turn in a curve full smile. It made you weak in the knees. The way his figure looked in his outfits. His shoulders and arms were a very nice tone of muscle. How were you suppose to not fall for him? It was such impossible concept of separating yourself in this situation. After losing concentration on trying to find the document you needed for work. A loud buzz came from your cell phone. Checking it quickly to see to see if it was him. Your heart starts beating faster, you break into a smile

“Today marks the start of a new opportunity progress for us to be able to make this work. I look forward to seeing you later.”

After rereading Techs message with a smile. you realize you haven’t responded back yet. Unsure of what to say. You didn’t want to mess this up or even scare him off. Taking a deep breath to figure out to say.

“Looking forward to seeing you too Tech.” You quickly put your phone down after hitting send. After a few minutes you back into work mode on your computer. As a couple minutes go by receiving another message from Tech.

“Would you like to come to my place for dinner tonight after work? I am planning on making roasted bantha filet, a classic Mandalorian dish, paired with a side of crispy mashed potatoes and glazed vegetables. Please let me know if you are available and if you have any dietary restrictions or preferences. I look forward seeing you.”

Reading his message brought a smile to your face. He was sweet and sincere asking if you had any restrictions. Seeing him tonight was now the highlight of your day. Looking at the time seeing you get off in 10 minutes. Quickly cleaning up your desk and organizing papers for the next day. You signed off and headed out the building. Pulling out your phone to respond back to him.

“Yes, I can make it. I just got out of work.” After hitting send the excitement hit you that you were going to see him. Walking to your car, you see another message from tech with the address of his place. After sitting down you message back giving him a heads up you’re on your way.

“Drive safe cyar'ika.”

After reading his last message got you confused. You never heard of this word before. What did that mean? Maybe it was a typo or some type of error. Pushing this thought away to focus on the road. Being so impatient to arrive. Driving to Techs place you realized he lived in a nice neighborhood.
Once you arrive to his place. You park and sit in your car debating to go up to the door or to text him you’re here. As you battle your unsure thoughts you decide just to go up and knock.

As you get to techs front door. You’re about to knock till Tech opens the door right away. You laugh softly to yourself. Finding it cute how he opened the door before you even got the chance to knock. Tech clears his throat and offers you to come in with his hands. Looking around his place was a nice clean place. You could smell the fresh pine of his home. Giving it right away he just cleaned up his place. Pictures of it seem like his family. A cute photograph of it seems to be a girl with blonde hair and four other guys.

“Those are my brothers and that is my sister.” Tech says interrupting your thoughts.

“She’s very pretty. What’s her name?” You ask looking at him.

“Omega is her name. Her curiosity and empathetic nature have made her an incredible part of our family.” Tech says while he pushes up his goggles.

“She sounds very lovely.” You say following him to the kitchen.

“She is. You will meet her and my brothers as it is part of our agreement.” Tech pulls out a chair for you to sit. Giving him a little thanks. As you sit you look to see where Tech went.

“I am serving us. Do not worry I got it under control.” He says a bit , but you can hear a bit uncertainty. Smiling as you see him struggle a bit plating the food nicely.

“You know I can help you.” Giggling a bit as you watch him. He looks up at you and shakes his head.

“Nonsense. You are my guest. As a host I have to make sure everything is perfect.” He says determined to plate it nicely. You roll your eyes at his determination. Standing up from your chair to walk over to him. The mess of the food cut up into pieces. Tech struggling to plate the mash potatoes neatly. The glaze vegetables still weren’t finished yet. You look at tech and softly chuckle.

“Here let me help. I think we’re both very hungry after work.” You say grabbing the rosemary and thyme. Giving him a soft smile.

Tech looks at you and nods. Giving you a soft smile. “Very well then. I must check on the glazed vegetables.”

Placing the thyme and rosemary on the bantha meat. Tech walks over to the glaze vegetables. Lifting the lid from the pan the steam fogs up his goggles. You laugh as the fog blocks his view. He lifts up his goggles to let the fog pass. He tries not to laugh as he’s a bit embarrassed. You see him without his goggles on making you quiver inside. A perfect view of his eyes. He catches you looking at him for long. Quickly moving your attention to the meat.

“I should’ve known that was going to happen.” He says stirring the glazed vegetables. You chuckle at his response.

“All that matters is the food isn’t burnt.” You say taking a bite of one of the carrots on the cutting board. Tech looks at at you with amusement.

“Right. How was your day?” Tech says playing the glazed vegetables on two plates. It was a bit out of no where that he asked. You smile and sigh.

“Well it could’ve been better. I just had lots of paperwork. I couldn’t find this particular document I needed. So, it was okay.” You say cutting up pieces of the bantha meat.

Tech stares at you as you cut up the bantha meat. He admires your honesty into giving a bit of detail on your workday. He walks over to you. Placing his hands on top of yours to help you cut up pieces of the bantha meat. Your heart flutters as his hand tops your hand. You look up at him seeing his brown eyes behind his goggles looking down at you.

“Am I cutting it wrong?” You ask softly not breaking eye contact with him.

“Uh well yes, however it’s okay. To cut up bantha meat, you first need to properly prepare the meat by removing any excess fat and trimming any tendons. Then, use a large, sharp knife to cut the meat into desired portions, such as steaks, chops, or cubes, depending on your recipe and desired serving size. You can also cut the meat into smaller pieces for tenderizing it.” He info dumps while helping you cut the meat in the correct way. You listen to him but can’t help as to laugh.

“I apologize if I overshared information and overwhelmed you.” He says pulling away and placing the food on the plates.

“It’s okay I really don’t mind. It’s actually really good information to know now! Hey, now I know how to properly cut up bantha meat.” You say giving him a wink while smiling.

Tech just looks at you with a smile and nods. He finished plating the food while walking to the dinner table. Following behind him you take the chair to sit next to him.

“Would you like red wine with your meal?” Tech ask as he walks over to his cabinet

“Actually, I’ll be fine with just water.” Tech nods as he walks to get you a cup of water. Grabbing both water cups he hands your cup. Thanking him as he hands your water. Tech takes a seat next to you.

“The food smells fantastic. You did a great job Tech.” You say taking a bite of your vegetables.

“Of course I did, but I did have your assistance.” He stares at you while taking a small bite of the bantha meat.

Taking a sip of your water and having a nice quiet moment. The silverware hitting the plates as you both dig into your delicious meals. You clear your throat and break the silence.

“Tech, tell me a bit more about your family. What should I know when I meet them.”

Tech eyes widen a bit behind his glasses. Almost forgetting this was not an actual date.

Tech sighs. “My family is not like most families. I have four brothers named Wrecker, Crosshair, Echo, and Hunter. Along with a sister named Omega. Once you meet them you’ll see their own personalities.”

You nod listening to him. Trying to remember all their names. “Okay that’s good to know. Is there anything specific I should remember about them?”

Tech swallows his food before talking. He thinks for a moment pushing up his glasses. “Wrecker enjoys cooking and coming up with new recipe ideas. Hunter and Crosshair enjoy being out in nature. Omega has a great range of games she enjoys playing. While, Echo enjoys communicating with others and attending conventions.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad to remember.” You say taking a bite of your food.

“It is not hard. I rather you just be yourself around them.” Tech says glancing at you.

You smile at his response. “I know just wanted to get an idea of them.”

Tech looks back at his food. “Of course. If this is hard for you. I understand.”

“No it’s not. I could handle it.”

Both of you go back to eating your meal. Tech looks at you realizing he hasn’t asked much about you.

Tech gets a bit nervous on what he should. He takes a sip of his drink. Then looks at you. “How are your family like?”

You smile drops at the sudden question. Your eyes scan the room unsure of what to say. Not wanting to make eye contact with him. “I don’t really get along with my family much. It’s sort of complicated.”

Tech sees you’re not making eye contact. He feels a bit guilty for asking such a personal question. Before he could say anything you interrupt.

“I moved out here to be on my own. I talk to my family once in a while. We just aren’t close. People don’t stay in contact nor even want to try to stay connected. So, I came out here to see what opportunities I could find for myself.” You say taking a sip of water.

Tech nods and gives you a soft smile. “I’m glad to hear you took the risk of being on your own. It can be quite a challenge. Life does requires us to take risks even if doesn’t go as planned. That’s the beauty of it.”

You look into techs eyes. As he’s already staring into your eyes. You did not expect to hear this coming from him. The smile that appeared on your face was obvious you were falling for him. The heart flutters in your chest. You swear your pupils could turn into hearts if they could by the way you looked at him. Catching yourself off guard you clear your throat.

“Thank you Tech that was rather well sweet.” You say softly looking at him.

Techs eyes having a bit of a different shade as he’s making eye contact with you. He turns away and looks down at his plate. You could swear he was acting a bit shy. Tech palms were becoming sweaty. His heart beating faster than usual. He was confused on why it was happening.

“Of course. Did you enjoy your meal?” Tech ask still not looking at you. He takes a sip of his drink. Trying not to drop the cup as his palms were sweaty. You chuckle a bit.

“Yes it was delicious. Thank you for inviting me over for dinner.” Grabbing your plate as you stand up. Tech quickly puts his drink down and stands. He grabs his plate and your plate from your hands.

“Here I insist I take the plates. You can stay put.” He says grabbing the plates and quickly placing them in the sink. You sit back down while watching him rinse off the plates. Pulling out your phone you realize the time. It was late and you both had work the next day. Tech sits back down next to you as he notices the time on his watch.

“I should get going. It’s pretty late and I don’t want to keep you up.”

Tech looks down at his watch and nods. “You wouldn’t necessarily be keeping me up. I rather stay up doing work.”

You could imagine him staying up late doing work. His head buried into his technological thinking. It would be hard to distract a busy man like him. Chuckling at his response it made you think he wanted you to stay. Oh I believe that. It sucks I have to work tomorrow.”

Tech slightly frowns and nods. “Oh yes. you should be heading home. I will schedule us another day to discuss more information about our fake relationship.”

Tech walks with you to the car. Comfortable silence between you both. As you both walk you look up at the stars. Tech looks at you wondering why you stopped. His brown eyes gazing upon your face. The way your eyes sparkled looking into the night skies. The wind blowing your hair which made your hair cover a bit of your face. Your fingers pushing a piece of your hair behind your ear. Your soft smile as you were focused on the view. Tech realizes how hard he was staring at you. He looks up at the stars. For once Tech doesn’t say anything as he’s just enjoying the moment with you.

“I had a great time tech. I’ll see you later.” You say as you wave at him. Tech gazes at you as he watches you get inside your car.
You felt as if tech needed to say something. You pulled down your passenger window

“Perhaps you could text me once you’re home. As I will know you made it home safely.” Tech says a bit softly as he’s still standing from the sidewalk.

He was thoughtful and that’s one thing you enjoyed about him. “Will do. Goodnight Tech.” You say as you finally drive away.

Tech watches you drive off as he makes sure you drive off first. He walks back inside as his mind is set on you the entire night.

[warcorrespondence]

Review: sixteen days in september

There are some fics that you know will stay with you forever, that are as powerful as the best books you've ever read, that create a world so entirely full and real that you almost feel like you've lived in it. Sixteen Days in September by Tevere is one of those fics.

fandom: Generation Kill

pairing: bradnate

not rated (I'd call it Mature), 43,428 words

This is not an easy, fun read. It's violent and horrifying, in the same way GK is violent and horrifying, and to be honest, it isn't nearly as funny (though it does an excellent job of nailing everyone's voices). And it's so well-written I catch myself rereading sentences for their stark, matter-of-fact beauty.

It's an au in which Nate, through a combination of happenstance, basic competence, and moral courage, becomes UN Station Chief in East Timor in 1999. For those who don't know the history here (I didn't) Indonesia had been occupying that country and when the Timorese voted overwhelmingly for independence in September of 1999, Indonesia refused to honor the referendum, creating a humanitarian crisis that led to 1400 dead and 400,000 displaced persons.

Brad and Espera are the two Marines assigned to protect Bravo Base (and are ludicrously outnumbered), Ray is a technician, Encino Man is...it was unclear to me what Encino Man did, mainly because he was so appallingly bad at it. There's characteristic incompetence galore, but also so much fucking competence. Nate's pragmatism wars with his compassion, Brad's easy acceptance of the fuckedupedness of the world is put to the test, and yes, they do fall in love, and it is just as based in respect and mutual understanding.

It's early evening by the time they leave the police station. Brad looks at assessingly at the sky, then at Nate, and says, "Feel like working out some of that frustration, sir?" It's a habit they've fallen into: running in the evenings. Severe, mindless exercise that's somehow become something Nate needs, like breathing. It's a clean burn in his muscles that's pure enough to feel almost religious – a kind of benediction absolving him of the day's grubby frustrations: the statistics and sitreps, endless administration forms, the pointless bureaucratic arguments. Brad runs alongside Nate with the same quiet focus he applies to everything, whether it's cleaning his weapon or tearing open a packet of Cheez-Its. He wears regulation t-shirts, shorts, sneakers with white ankle socks. The socks always strike Nate as kind of unmilitary, more suited to a college student than a Marine grunt, and the blasphemy of the thought makes him grin. Apart from when they're showering, this is the only time he sees Brad in anything less than full uniform, which is apparently all to do with something called the 'grooming standard' rather than any kind of battle-related SOP. ("If units abandon the grooming standard, who knows what kind of moral laxity could happen?" Brad says, perfectly deadpan. "Cock-sucking, goat-fucking. Homosexual relations, sir.") Nate's never been much of a runner – he was on the cycling team in college – but he's fit and not used to losing. Even as he pushes himself, though, he knows that Brad's holding back. Brad can probably run twenty miles carrying fifty pounds and barely break a sweat, he thinks ruefully. His own lungs burn on the inhale; even though it's evening, it's like running on a treadmill set up in front of a pizza oven. They run through the town, dodging goats and chickens and bemused Timorese, then out to the rice paddy plain and the isolated crossroads where the main road meets the town bypass. It's maybe a ten mile loop, and as they near the office Brad just grins at Nate and picks up the pace until they're sprinting. He beats Nate to the compound by a good fifty yards, a distance that's just short of absolutely humiliating. "Not bad for a civilian, sir," Brad says magnanimously, when Nate finally arrives. The bastard isn't even winded. "Maybe even better than Espera, but then again, he's got those little Mexican legs holding him back." He grins, slaps Nate on the shoulder and saunters off.