#i need to make more content for the polycule au anyways

[laurapalmerz]

thank you all for the recent support on the latest web weave!!!

[jazzyblusnowflake]

(If this was asked before, I swear to god.) FullCompany (NUziVJ) Headcannons?

aaaaaaaaa time to write once more- i missed being able to type away like the lil shit i am-

anyhow- okay lets see- gonna add some things here- tbh my ideas was mostly for Jenvy ideas mainly- but i guess ill fit Uzi in there lol

Some JeNVUzi HCs:

[once again- Drone au only, and maybe minor suggestive content but not nsfw]

The polycule is essentially formed around Uzi pulling them back together-

J's original reason for siding with Cyn which was rooted in fear- was on the basis that she still had her team on her side so she could keep them safe and so theyd have eachother to rely on even after Cyn destroys everything. she did not however, account for Uzi coming along and messing everything up and ruining her team's alignment while she was "dead".

the entire reason J tried to kill N or V at any time was cuz she knew a clone of them would be sent back anyway- she has basically become desensitized towards death in general given she had also died around 12 times herself [canon]- V and N try to help her through this- during which they also deal with Vs behavior and Ns trauma too.

to communicate with J they often had to spar with her- seeing as she hated talking about feelings- but this became their own thing they all did afterwards to unwind and communicate- as J opened up a lot easier after feeling like she was reached out to.

Uzi and J bond over anime and gaming- the latter being somewhere J could actually use her anger on more effectively XD

they all like reading books every now and then where one would read and the others snuggle or cuddle- they take turns. [this is from their manor days]

J is... unable to emote or show emotion easily and it eats her alive. she can't show the appropriate needed emotion to the mood of the room and it makes her have breakdowns- occasionally throw up- as though you are desperately trying to cry but the tears wont come so you try heaving it out- make yourself fit in and look normal by trying to FEEL something- but she cant. J is a dated business model drone- custom made for office work- she was made to be this way- Cyn didn't change her- and she grows to hate herself for it. so when a situation happens that she doesn't know how to react, she leaves or hides- until N,V or Uzi find her- usually disassociating or somewhat catatonic.

Uzi occasionally feels out of place with the group, as though she's just being a literal 4th wheel, since they have history together. the others try to show her that she is important to them each in their own ways-

addressing the elephant in the room- yes, it took a long time for N and J to come to terms with eachother- J eventually accepting that her original reason for hating N [him being better than her or preferred over her esp by Tessa] wasn't important anymore- and tries to appreciate him and V and Uzi more in whatever is left of her life.

make no mistake V and J are still very much bitchy on a surface level- just cuz they are all growing close does not mean they are all now lovey dovey with eachother or sweet and character-redemption-ed with everyone around them. therefore: "playful catfights" >:3 !

V and Uzi tease J alot- this is one of the reasons why J found more comfort with N- not gonna tell him to his face tho lol.

J teaches N to draw better and they bond over that alot-

Uzi and J like attention alot- and they wanna get it by being as wordless as possible- very cat coded.

Uzi, V and N like to drag J into doing more normal things that have less to do with work. so far J has mostly shown some interest in writing and maybe poetry but she WILL shoot your head off if you try to read her stuff-

J's first kiss was with Uzi- N and V having kissed once back at the manor being eachothers first kiss. J thinks V kisses the best tho lol.

N and V like to cuddle a lot- J and Uzi are usually dependent on mood-

V likes to bite- J likes to be bitten, N and Uzi like both- :3

J likes playing with N and Uzi's fluffy hair. V only lets N touch her hair.

during intimate cuddles- J has passed out the most lol. Uzi following a close second lol-

Uzi and J yap alot about tech work-

hmm this is all i can think about for NOW-

:"3

[jams-sims]

Anyway making my own MelJayvik AU content cause on both side of Jayvk and MelJay being mad weird. And for some reason Ace people are catching strays on the bird app (and here which is even weirder) because something a guy who needs to log off said. ANYWAY tho

Jayce is the one to introduce Mel and Vik together. They get a long like a house on fire with a screaming family inside. That meaning they kinda have this competition going. Jayce has NO idea its happening. But Vik and Mel are new to the whole polycul thing. An havent found their footing yet. So two smart people glaring at eachother from across the room.

It only takes one day where Jayce sets Mel and Vik up on a date. He tell them both that 'hey let go to X spot, I'll meet you there.' Only for him to never show up and for them to be left alone in a libary.

Where a fight breaks out instantly, its petty it doesnt really go anywhere and they cant yell above a whisper because they just refuses to leave the library. Someone not naming names says 'You wanna fuck me so bad!!'

Jayce checks in on them a few hours later and mysteriously everything okay. Jayce isnt stupid you get two very cat smart people it takes a minute to warm up. Theres way less tension in the relationship and Mel and Vik are having way more conversation. Jayce is having lunch with Mel and he just says.

"You know I'm so happy you and Vik are gettong along. Yall just needed to bang it out and look at you."

Mel chokes on her drink and Jayce is left with a very smug smile on his lips.

"I remember you said something along the lines a while back, Vik had a face you could sit on. I hope all you dreams came true." Jay with all the love in the world.

[nagi-ddlcpolyblog]

The Genesis of nagi-ddlcpolyblog, Another DDLC Poly Blog

welcome one and all to my apparent attempt at killing my writer’s block. 

hi, I’m nagi (@miss-naginata), whom like five people total may know as naginata_gay_edition on the Archive of Our Own. simply put, polydokis has been on my mind recently. I haven’t had much energy for actual, proper writing even as the blorbos embed themselves into each ridge and crevice of my brain, and my solution appears to be this. I hope you have fun.

This polycule consists of all four girls plus a transfem MC. in here you’ll be seeing little dialogue bits, maybe a ficlet or two, and some occasional lore dumps extracted fresh from my friends’ DMs after I yap at them for long enough.

There will not be any NSFW content. I might get very mildly suggestive if I’m ever ballsy enough, but please don’t count on that or demand that from me. Feel free to send asks but also please treat me like a little glass doll if you do that ty /lh 

anyway, onto the summary, I guess

General Stuff

This AU takes place a good few years after the Literature Club happened (with some major alterations on that). In a sense, this whole thing is basically an alternate timeline to a fic I own - Of Wounds That Mend - and which I have not yet finished at all. Does this count as spoilers? I really hope not.

Everyone is in their twenties, are working jobs (except for one) and are all living an overall pretty normal life. They all have their complexes, occasional issues, but they love each other very much mwah mwah mwah

Monika

Monika works as an analytical chemist and part time girlfriend of five. Work is something that can be stressful (nevermind the work it took to get there), but her occupation is the one which brings the most income and she finds comfort in the fact that she’s dependable. She can be emotionally stunted and is prone to overworking, which has produced a kind of “girl who should be taken care of” title from her lovers. She learns to accept this and becomes all too willing to dive into someone’s arms the moment she gets home. At times she feels some guilt for accepting so much love and care, and it takes much elbow grease for her to realize she does deserve this, not for being the primary breadwinner, but because she’s loved and that’s all there is to it.

Sayori

Sayori is unemployed and, thanks to her self worth issues, feels very guilty for this, often attempting to “compensate” by doing work around the house (to Natsuki’s dismay, she really wants to help with cooking). She has the issue of being somewhat of a people pleaser, which takes some time to iron out as she accepts that she, too, is deserving of things she wants and needs. She’s treated as the oracle of love and affection in the polycule, not because everyone is bad at it in comparison, but because she has an Energy™ that draws everyone in for cuddles and head-scritches.

Natsuki

Natsuki works in a coffee shop with one of her girlfriends. She can be blunt and sassy and has a deep-knit urge to subvert her own feelings, but she’s very intimate and loving when given space. She once possessed a passion for writing that she eventually let go of throughout the years; this was soon reignited by two of her lovers’ shared enjoyment of the art. She enjoys getting into teasing fights with her girlfriends and play-wrestling with some (which, more often than not, ends in a ferocious make-out).

Yuri

Yuri is a trans woman who works entirely at home. She owns a literature critique YouTube channel with a microcelebrity following, but most of her income comes from her part-time job as a writer – every few months when a publisher wants her to work on a book. It is commonly hellish, but she, allegedly, does not regret turning her hobby into a career. Single copies of her books are in her bedroom, and they all have little notes from her lovers, ranging from “I’m so proud of you, love” to “missing hyphen.” She has a habit of being overly meek with her girlfriends, which is spawned from her reluctance to be forward with cisgender women due to internalized dysphoria and from the fact that she is the most recent addition to the polycule – in fact, the only one they didn’t meet in high school. It is, to them, very fun to fluster her and attempt to crack her shell.

Mabel

Mabel is also a trans woman. As implied before, she works a job at a coffee shop with one of her girlfriends, Natsuki. Unlike Yuri, she has not made a career out of writing, but she does do it recreationally. She once was extremely afraid of affection, but after years of prodding from her lovers she has grown to be very mushy with her fellow girls. She and Sayori have a strong bond that the rest of the polycule sometimes admires, sometimes feels jealous of, spawned from the sheer amount of time they’ve known each other for (almost their entire lives), and this is not helped by Sayori’s insistence on making jokes about having dibs on Mabel – and further not helped by Mabel’s insistence on being flustered by this behaviour.

*Mabel is a character originating from one of my fics and I have secretly spent the last few months being unhinged about her.

**also, this isn't exactly a roleplay blog and asks won't be answered in character. you can like, make asks in character if you want, but I won't humor that.

***if this becomes another short lived fixation i lose interest in then i have failed

[shippimagines]

party x reader or party x split? im like the only partysplit guy around

i have a regretevator huge polycule au where partysplit is real its ok

Poob is sleepy one day and isn’t in the mood to clean up their home

They speak about it in the elevator and Split asks if they’d like to stay the night at her house

Poob says sure because that sounds fun!! So when they’re at Split’s home floor they get off together

Split makes them dinner to share

Poob really likes it and tell her they’d love to eat with her more often. They say she’s an amazing cook (she’s not but it’s ok)

Split asks Poob what they wanna do next and they ask if she likes My Little Pony

She says she hasn’t watched much and Poob gets excited; they end up on her couch together watching MLP because Poob needed to show it to her

Split is talking about how she thinks Pinkie Pie is like Poob and asks Poob what their favorite pony is

She gets no response and looks beside her to find Poob resting their head on her, fast asleep

She smiles at them and continues to watch the show until it’s late

She decides to scoop Poob up into her arms and places them in her bed, because she doesn’t want them sleeping on the couch

They wake up a little and ask what’s happening

Split tells them she’s gonna go sleep on the couch while they sleep in her bed for the night and sleepily, they tell her they don’t mind sharing a bed, she’s cozy anyways

Split gets a little flustered but accepts it

She turns off the lights and places her glasses on the nightstand before shuffling into her bed with Poob

Poob barely-consciously snuggles up to her and she doesn’t mind, Poob’s always been physically affectionate

They sleep together, comfy and content

[foxgloveinspace]

Hi, it’s come to my attention I should probably share my Sleep Token Fan Fics on this website, so here is an official post I’ll update and stuff.

I want to say, publicly here, I am Not shipping the band members. I am, shipping their stage personas, and do not want to even think of them off stage in that way (because shipping real people makes me uncomfortable). I have separated the characters and the people who play them so much that I forget I’m even writing about Sleep Token. Ok? Even if they are just playing up their own personalities, they are still putting on a show, and putting on characters.

That being said:

All my Sleep Token fics are in a series (so far). All you need to know is that it’s set in an au where they are not a band, just a cult and a polycule, and Sleep is a loving but mean dom. And it’s all an excuse to write smut about sub!Vessel. Cause I love content where he gets to be a #mess, and I remembered I can make it myself lol.

You need to be logged into your ao3 account to be able to read my fic, I locked them all a few years ago when people where copying fics to other websites with pay walls, and I left them locked. I’m glad I did cause there’s a lot of scams happening right now anyway. Make sure to also read all the tags on the fics! And I usually put trigger warnings in the beginning notes!

Give In Again and Let Me Lay (My Arms Belong Around You)

Tags:

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply, Vessel/Sleep, background I/II/III/IV (polyvessels), Vessel (Sleep Token), Sleep (Sleep Token), IV (Sleep Token), II (Sleep Token), III (Sleep Token), Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, but theres a tiny tiny bit of plot. Dom/sub,Orgasm Delay/Denial, Multiple Orgasms, Mildly Dubious Consent, Mentioned Tentacles (past), Bondage, Cis Vessel (Sleep Token), (sorry about that one), Witch-y Vessel, Non-Human Character, Non-Human Genitalia, (for Sleep), Do NOT copy to another website

Sleep only came to his room for two reasons, the first and most common, was when Sleep wanted Vessel to try some new magic or ritual, ones that would leave him tired enough that he might pass out immediately after. Those were usually his least favorite, the magic and energy draining from him left him feeling empty and hollow for weeks after, and the accomplishment of getting it right eventually was bittersweet, and not fulfilling. He felt useless as Sleep’s weapon in those moments, but he would do what was asked of him.

But the excitement in the way that Sleep had tugged at their link made Vessel shudder, and not in complete apprehension.

-

Vessel shuts himself in his room, working on a project. He doesn't realize how long it's been since he's left his room to do more than eat, and accidentally worries the others to the point that they get their god involved.

~

I am the Shadow, You’re the Passenger

Tags:

No Archive Warnings Apply, Vessel/II/III/IV, Vessel/iii, Vessel (Sleep Token), III (Sleep Token), II (Sleep Token), IV (Sleep Token), Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Porn with Feelings, Light BDSM, Light Dom/sub, (but so little it's blink and you'll miss it), Not a Band AU, Technically This Is A, Cult AU, Domestic Fluff, Trans II (Sleep Token), Trans III (Sleep Token), light body horror, Do NOT copy to another website

Vessel had felt III’s eyes on him since the beginning of The Punishment, as he had started referring to it in his mind. He had felt all of his other’s eyes on him since the beginning of the Punishment. It had only been a week or so, but it had been obvious with III, as if he hadn’t even been trying to hide it. And knowing III he wasn’t, Vessel would turn and catch his eye, as if III was waiting to catch him out. Vessel still flinched back every time, tried to stop it from happening and only made it worse.

It wasn’t like he was shy about it, as if he was completely insecure about what he had done for his god, it was just that he was unused to being so open, even to the other vessels. And a week without the mask wasn’t going to change that, he doubted even the month would.

-

Vessel can't sleep, III helps. In the process, III finds out Vessel thinks none of his others like his eyes.

~

Something You Say or Something You Do (A Taste of the Divine)

Tags:

Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Free Use Vessel, Vaginal Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Penis In Vagina Sex, Overstimulation, Multiple Orgasms, Foursome - M/M/M/M, Magic, Cult AU, No band AU, Vessel has a magic vagina in this one (just... read it I guess), Trans II, Trans III, Cis IV, Cis Vessel, yes I know., Dom/sub, Dom II, Dom IV, Switch III, Sub Vessel, Dom Sleep, (but Sleep is not here for this one), Cunnilingus, Long Shot, Vibrators, light body horror

He blinked at the ceiling as Sleep chuckled in his mind, and then Sleep spoke,

“Good morning, my vessels.”

Vessel felt the stirrings from the other bonds, the others greeting their god, and he pushed back on Sleep, a good morning of his own, without words.

“I will not be able to be there today for worship as discussed, I will be around within the next 86 hours,” He felt amusement from the others and himself at the use of specific hours from their god, used to it by now but still so endearing, “but because of this I decided that One shall be yours for the day.”

-

Or, Vessel wakes up on a morning of worship, only to find out their god has made some changes to him in the night. Oh, and Sleep cannot come that day, so he's giving the Others a treat. Vessel.

~

Take a Bite (of Me)

Tags:

No Archive Warnings Apply, Sleep/Vessel (Sleep Token), Background Polyvessels, Background II/III/IV/Sleep/Vessel, Sleep (Sleep Token), Vessel (Sleep Token), Biting, Oral, Light Dom/sub, PWP, Blow Jobs, Non-Human Genitalia, so much cum (idk how else to tag this and nothing is coming up oof), Soft Sleep (Sleep Token), Soft Vessel (Sleep Token), Still a little fucky wucky tho? At least to me, Do NOT Copy To Another Webiste

He was home alone, the lights were low, so there was only the lamp behind him where he was sitting on the couch, casting a warm glow over him and his book.

He was home alone, until he felt the crackle in the air, the shift in the pressure, the feeling of his god materializing in the portal that was, for all purposes an empty room they called his, the door of which when opened by Sleep would be the gateway to his world, the world of gods. Vessel only felt the change when he was in the living room or kitchen in a clear open space with the door, but he was glad for it this time, marking his page by dog earring it, and tossing it on the coffee table, as he felt Sleep come up to the back of the couch and loom over him, casting shadow in the golden glow.

-

Or; Sleep is in a softer mood, and decides to indulge in Vessel's love of his mouth, covering him in hickies.

~

All Your Darkest Impulses

Tags:

No Archive Warnings Apply, IV/Sleep (Sleep Token), IV/Sleep/Vessel (Sleep Token), Background Polyvessels, Vessel (Sleep Token), IV (Sleep Token), Sleep (Sleep Token), PWP, Dom/sub, Bottom IV, Sub IV, Top Sleep, Dom Sleep, Mildly Dubious Consent, Voyeurism, Overstimulation, Non-Human Genitalia, (for Sleep), Vessel POV, Coming In Pants, (For Vessel UwU), Punishment, worship kink, (thats not a tag??), Do NOT copy to another website

Sleep sighed, and stretched his arms wide, in his humanoid form again, and Vessel was starting to associate the form with worship with his god. He turned and leaned back on the counter, watching as Sleep walked into the room, and Sleep’s eyes caught his, but they didn’t hold his attention long, his eyes wondering almost lazily to IV, who was still sitting at the table though his back was ramrod straight, and his hands were in his lap. Vessel could see the way they were clenching and unclenching.

Sleep’s eyes didn’t leave IV, and then there was a soft glow that seemed to be coming from behind them, and IV’s head tilted down. Sleep nodded once to himself, and stepped forward to him, holding out his hand to IV, and hesitantly IV placed his hand in Sleeps. He was tugged up to his feet, and then they were starting to walk away.

-

Sleep decides it's time to punish IV for the stunt he pulled when Sleep couldn't be there to watch Vessel between II and III. Vessel gets to watch.

~

Let Me Wrap the Chain

Tags:

No Archive Warnings Apply, Sleep/Vessel (Sleep Token), II/III/IV/Sleep/Vessel (Sleep Token), II/III/IV/Vessel (Sleep Token), Vessel (Sleep Token), Sleep (Sleep Token), II (Sleep Token), III (Sleep Token), IV (Sleep Token), PWP, Tentacles, Tentacle Sex, Mildly Dubious Consent, Non-Human Genitalia, technically, Non-Human Character, Tentacle Monster Sleep, Overstimulation, Do NOT copy to another website

Sleep was floating in the middle of their living room when they walked in the door, his from his second favorite, a mass of wriggling tentacles that had no business being inside such a small apartment, but it was, and it had been before, had been in his room before as impossible as it felt, with his little glances to Sleep now; blocking the lights and casting long shadows over the walls.

-

It's tentacle smut guys, idk what else to say lol.

Important Authors Note in the notes of this fic.

[thatdeadaquarius]

i NEED to see more of your art !!!!!

*bats eyelashes* this is a threat.

AHFLALSDHA WHAT- STOP GET OUT NO U DONT PLEASE-

U WANNA SEE MY ART??!!

IVE BEEN WAITING FOR YEARRSSS FOR SOMEONE TO SEE MY ART-

For future standalone posts like Possession AU/actual Fanfics/Non-Asks I'll probably add some of my art as a fun visual, since it sucks the closest I can get is gifs to feeling more immersed! :/

These I drew over the past 2-3 weeks! They're my lovely OCS, left to right, Lucille, Mara and Sabrina! They're story is a big fat beautiful shit on JK Rowl*ng! Lucille is a black lesbian successful trans woman/future magic council-woman, Mara is a japanese-american hard-headed/bold sapphic woman/future professional magical athlete, and Sabrina is a plus-size queer woman/future professional magical plants necromancer! They're in my twist on Harry Potter universe, where they all go to magical university, and the point is that Mara and Lucille are infamous school rivals, but then fall in love/fall in love with Sabrina too! A magical gay polycule if u will, I've written 2 short stories about them for my fiction class so far!

SHEESH, DO ME A FAVOR AND CLICK FOR QUALITY!!

this was my last project for my illustration 2 class! I have a physical comic book/zine I'm making, but this is the summary TLDR digital piece lol, its actually a sort of isekai of myself into Percy Jackson and changing his fate for the better! (Yes ik his anatomy is ROUGH, dont look at him too hard- SOBS)

Here's an earlier project this year from Illustration 2, I got an article I had to make illustrations for, to help you understand it/add aesthetic to it! My subject was Cosmic Topology, pretty sick topic if u ever wanna look it up, it's about the shape of the universe! :0

^^^

And these-

are the gifs from that art exhibition I talked so much about the past couple weeks! It was my senior art exhibition (a requirement to display art in the uni gallery to graduate!)

irl photos under this text block!

These are actually being projected across pages in a fake photo album/prom guestbook thingy, fully interactive so u can turn the pages and it shows a new animation, like a magical storybook! Also, since it's prom themed, I made it a kinda guestbook/sign book so gallery viewers can get some glitter pens I left out to sign the end of it! I also have a playlist I made playing in the gallery along with it so it's like what they'd play at this prom! :) hope that made sense!

The content is that the girl you see walking around in white is getting social anxiety/stressed out, to the point of dissociating, as a way of doing my theme I've kept up for university of things appearing darker than they initially look (hence the colors + I love colors), and to bring awareness to mental health!

welp, didnt mean to include all that black space, but that's my artist statement too! (u cant see the prints in the pictures, that's just my interactive piece I was talking about!)

hope if u click on the statement it's readable lol

Just click on the Alt text, I pasted it there 😭 also the piece is called

"You're the Star of the Night (you're dissociating)!"

Tumblr hates me so I just made the gif of me actually turning the pages into a link/QR code thingy! feel free to check out if u want :)

Uh anyway, if you made it this far, thank you so much!

Can't wait to make more fanart tbh lol

AND THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN FOR ASKING ORAH!! (sorry it wasnt more genshin stuff whoops...) RLLY HOPE I DIDNT SPAM U TOO HARD-

Safe travels,

💀♒️

[the-whispers-of-death]

OOOOH loving the new actors au, esp with stone and kali being actors and reader being either a hand on set or their shared assistant. but im leaning towards them being a worker on set, like maybe managing the lights or sound

the dressing room tea must be INSANE between the cast

"oh yeah stone couldnt get to his dressing room. apparently lost the key but for some reason reader had it, wink wink"

"BRO those 2 are gonna ruin the fucking SCENE, we have been at this for 2 hours can kali stop giving stone the goddamn heart eyes?!"

"ppft didya know that there was a time when kali got sick and couldnt make it onto set, but ~somehow~ stone wasnt feeling it either that day. shame we couldnt ask reader, because without them there, the scenes couldnt be shot. meaning they had no reason to be on set either. strange aint it?"

"hey, what's up stone's ass today? moody bloody bastard, aint he today? what, did he not get his good luck kisses from the 2 other blokes?"

"where on gods green earth is kali when you need him?! is he off making out with reader again?! would explain why the lights are all messed up too!"

~ rusty

Heartthrob, in my head: Why does Kali get to be Stone's love interest in this AU too? Why can't I love on a Stone?

Me, pushing him down into my subconscious: You have Grim Reaper!Stone and Stone x Kali are going to be endgame. Please leave me in peace.

(He's feeling left out, but at least Sarabi's content with his Mr. Silent & Mr. Grumpy AU. ((Heartthrob wants to note that Sarabi has been placed in a polycule with Stone, Kali, and Dragon Hybrid!Reader and I would like to remind him that he (((Heartthrob))) wasn't even established as an OC back then.))

Anyways, the gossip would be piping hot. But neither you, Stone, or Kali cares. No one can take away from the fact that Stone is now interacting with the media via talk shows and panels or that Kali's acting has improved even more. And you've been working harder around set too.

[casinoquartet]

tumblr user @cutthesky u r So right for this

like. i think this reflects a Lot in fancontent as well . for example i can probs name One clownzy centric fic where its an established relationship (and even then its . branzy fucking up a pie so so bad 😭 (heres the link btw) and Most clownzy fics i've read have either that indentured servitude thing going on Or are meet cutes so. Yeah (i think partly its bc the Most clownzy content there is in canon is. yk. gay casino murder indentured servitude for saving your life where one of the other guys in the casino quartet polycule asking if youre being held hostage) (and just in general. flirting via threats and being scared so. yk) which does! make an interesting combination since when i typically think/write about casino quartet i do tend to say i base it off more on. echocraft!clownzy with that whole "call me any time you need :*" thing and clown stabbing a bunch of branzys friends 4 funzies so. also the giggling "hehe :3c" energy they have when conspiring to kill said people. its awesome tbh and so so silly

ANYWAYS so true on the casino quartet thing like. theres a million diff ways to see How swagdoons commitment would help build up clownzys relationship to b more long lasting

(at least for me and my specific au that is Literally the basis of how i think abt casino quartet in general) (btw this is one of those aus that i just rotate a bunch in my head for enrichment idk when ill ever publish it, if at all </3) i Personally like to think of swagdoons being these ride of die kinda guys, like the ones youve been through so So much with and clownzy being those like "omg heyyyyy cutie" couples who started dating within like. 5 seconds of knowing each other

but i do imagine them teaming up one day and as clownzy work together they start just to. notice more things about each other. notice about all of the shitty jokes they make with each other and the smile lines on each other faces and the way they can make each other laugh and the way they giggle and smile whenever they say all of those terrible terrible flirts with each other, much to everyone chagrin

but like, most importantly i think they can stop and look back and realize that they trust the person in front of them so so much and even when the other party could have betrayed, they didnt. and thats just smth very sweet and cool to me (they still commit crimes and murder together btw . dont forget that part. but hey they're still capable of loving!)

and on top of working w the rest of the gang i think. theyd all share that mutual trust w each other

at least in the context of my au i like to imagine clown and ash standing on the balcony in the middle of the night, away from whatever party they were forced to go to, and just. talking. respecting the other. like saying "hey the thing you did back there was pretty cool, thanks man" and just sit in comfortable silence while confessing those kinda things together. just them, the sky, and each other. thats at least what i think abt them

and with red and branzy i like to imagine one of them in the kitchen already, making some coffee, while the other walks in, a little awake and a little hungry and meeting the other in the kitchen. and while theyre getting on with their routines, they just start chatting very quietly because its some god awful early hour in the morning (for them) and the others asleep. and while they offer to make the other breakfast, they just do very small talk. talking about each others sudoku or worlde for the day or whatever and letting the sun bask upon them while they just chat abt small things like that. smth very domestic but nice i think :)

anyways i Know my interpretations and how i characterize casino quarter is very. soft compared to some other ones but like, i think it's nice to think about a group of traitors getting together and going, "you know what? despite everything, i trust you. and i hope you can trust me too"

maybe im not looking in the right places but i DO find it funny that in my experience i have found that swagdoons have SIGNIFICANTLY more fancontent where they're married than clownzy does . like idk why but that's so funny to me 😭

[daz4i]

Bestie. Bestie. I know I've already sent him for a character meme before, but that was a long time ago and also this one is ~detailed~ so. Takuto, if you'll indulge me? :3

Also! If I may, I'm sending Akechi too 'cause we all want to talk about our blorbos ^^ <3

mwah thank you bestie 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

takuto:

What I like about them: he’s genuinely such an interesting character. his role in the story is generally such a sexy one (anti-villains are p rare from my experience so it’s so cool to see one). i love his confidant and even his class questions and his presence is genuinely very calming

What I dislike about them: why are you me. i’m me

Favourite moment: that one scream after the fist fight. you know the one

Least favourite moment: hmmmmm not sure if i have one i particularly dislike but ig while they’re very plot and character important, his one on one conversations with the thieves can be a bit slow and at times even uncomfortable to watch bc of second hand embarrassment lmao 

A situation with this character that I want to see explored more: i really wanna know what happens to him in his reality! we see him basically become a nobody, the thieves don’t recognize him, and i assume it’s his doing? so i’m curious, once everyone’s happiness is actualized, what does he have left to do?? what does he do??? pls i need answers

An interesting AU for this character: curious to think abt how thing’s would’ve gone if he told akira from the start he knows they’re the pt and abt the metaverse and cogpsi. like, how would the thieves react? would they be more guarded around him, or more open? would he become a confidant to them all? idk it’s interesting!!!! idek if it counts as an au bc it’s more canon divergence but eh.

A crossover: i’m ngl my brain is flat out of ideas. fuck it. the bible. biggest crossover of the year. ig it’s technically already canon but anyway

OTP: takuto x you u3u 

Other ships?: takurumi ofc! and i think his ship with zenkichi is cute! 

BROTP: shibusawa true bro xx

NOTP: whatever his ship with akira is called. for obvious reasons

An assortment of headcanons! (but this post is long enough as is so i’m limiting myself to one): that man lives in the lamest ass apartment you’ve seen in your life. he does NOT get paid enough to afford more. rip king 

goro:

What I like about them: the mental illness(es) and everything else also

What I dislike about them: uuuuuuuh ig he’s got some moments that give me second hand embarrassment?? esp in his detective persona. i’m sorry goro you posted cringe you’re gonna lose subscriber

Favourite moment: any time he’s being unhinged during the third semester 😍 but esp as a navi

Least favourite moment: genuinely can’t choose bc any moment that may be cringe is just so funny or i’m simply too happy he’s there that i can’t bring myself to dislike it. ig in his original confidant some of the ranks were a bit boring? so just pick one of those rank ups where he just says how interesting it is to talk to akira despite us never seeing them talk 

A situation with this character that I want to see explored more: you know that deleted content from royal where he’s in a rehab center? yeah i wanna know what’s up with that and have more information and see how he heals and how he is afterwards

An interesting AU for this character: actual detective goro........ him solving crimes he didn’t commit himself.......... solving mysteries........... connecting dots and following leads...... perhaps with a trusty partner who looks great in drag called watso- *gets shot* 

A crossover: i’m making him besties with dimitri fire emblem even if it’s the last thing i do 

OTP: my special little polycule of goro x akira x haru x yusuke. but also just akeshu 

Other ships?: akekita, akeharu, ryugoro

BROTP: futago and anngoro!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOTP: recently found out some ppl actually ship him with shido and well. i’m not here to police anyone’s ships but Keep That Shit Away From Me 

Extra headcanon: autistic king. masking expert and hyperaware of people’s perception of him due to years of trauma. his special interest is featherman. stims by fiddling with his gloves. i’m right about this 

send some characters?

[imaginewereinlove]

Hello? Hello? Danganronpa self shipper? Please share the F/Os and S/Is I crave this content bestie

Okay, so you asked this like, weeks ago (I’m sorry) but I am now officially not too stressed to enjoy anything other than Pokémon Legends: Arceus. I also had to write this in two sittings. So let’s go :3

My S/I is literally just me plopped in there. A tiny trans-guy being neurodivergent and trying his best. Like, I sometimes play with more backstory of me finally being able to study abroad in Japan and visiting Hopes Peak (except I’ve graduated now without ever studying abroad, thanks COVID :,3) and y’know, shit hits the fan. after those Sneaksy Twins™ start putting plans into action that involve one of them “disappearing” Mr. Jin Kirigiri was like “shit, need to find another one to fill in the gap so that we can have adequate pairs of Make Babies just in case everyone else dies. YOU. ASSIGNED FEMALE AT BIRTH.” :/ Which leads to survival, which leads to Future Foundation being like “hey can you babysit these guys on an island for us real quick” which justifies in my head my participation in the first two games. It also forces me to think dialogue in Japanese, which I desperately need to practice. But that’s all very messy and I generally don’t think about it too hard. That is for “canon” timeline anyway.

I do prefer non-despair AUs though, and also the “before everything went wrong” part of the anime. My idea there is that (by means I haven’t bothered to figure out) a woefully unqualified me is able to sneak into class 77 after stealing a Main Course uniform. Any time someone asks about my ultimate talent the answer changes which eventually leads to “haha, guess and I’ll tell you if you’re right ;)” My S/I does not have an ultimate talent, which does lead to angst. Yes, you already know where this is going, but let’s start with THH.

Oh, just so that I don’t have to name quite so many, I adore almost all of the characters platonically. There are, of course exceptions, but I think only Junko and Hiyoko, do I really dislike.

So in Trigger Happy Havoc, the only character I really ever desired romantically/intimately was Leon Kuwata. Much to my chagrin, he is a fuckboy. That’s okay though, it started out as a “hey if we’re all going to die, why not a little hedonism? I don’t wanna die a virgin, you game?” Alas ._. Anyway, we’re more fuck-buddies than anything, or we were because now I’m in a more committed relationship :3

Let’s hop over to V3 for juuust a sec before I absolutely gush on my SDR2 babes. ^^

So, either kinning Shuichi led to f/o-ing him, or f/o-ing him led to kinning. One or the other. My best friend kins Kaede, so go figure. Either way, I love him ^^ That said, I’m also a simp for Kaede, she’s such a good girl. I like to think of the three of us in a polycule.

I also love love love Kiibo so much!!! He’s such a good boy and he’s trying his best! I like to think of us becoming closer in my Japanese daydreams because I rely on him to translate some of my more complicated thoughts (trials) when I don’t have the vocabulary to communicate them in Japanese.

Okay! Now for SDR2! I could honestly make a separate post just for them. I’ll put the meta in this post and make a separate post for my canon ^^

Alrighty, so I think that my first boyo was Kazuichi Souda, Mr. shark teeth himself. It was real quick, I don’t remember exactly when, but I do remember commenting to my friends that I wanted to kiss him on the mouth pretty early on though. It became a running joke ^^ Pretty simple though, I thought he was attractive and had almost exactly the same personality type as Leo Valdez a la Percy Jackson, who I also had a huge crush on back in the day.

Next, chronologically and in terms of how complicated the route to understanding the feelings, is Fingers-In-His-Ass himself, Nagito Komaeda. So in the beginning I thought he was a pretty decent guy, but 1. I’d been on the internet long enough, and 2. My friend who had played the DR games before had a <_< attitude about him, so I knew something would happen. After the first trial, my pre-played friend was like “yeah, never really liked him. I thought he was pretty annoying” and my friend who was playing for the first time with me was like “lmao wtf” and despite everything, I couldn’t find it in me to hate him. I was kinda confused about it, but hating him didn’t feel right, despite the awful things he did. It wasn’t until I was contemplating after waking up at 3am or something, that I realized I couldn’t hate him because he was just like me. When my depression gets real bad, my self loathing monologue is his self deprecating monologue almost verbatim. From there, I was more inclined to sympathize with him and try to defend him. There… there was a little bit of an “I can fix him” thing going on, I’ll be real. But he doesn’t need to be “fixed” if it’s a non-despair AU and everything is fine anyway!

And finally, the MOST CONVOLUTED WAY TO CATCH FEELINGS EVER. Ft. Teruteru Hanamura :3

So, a little about me: I just graduated college with a bachelors degree in Japanese language. The school I went to required a senior thesis to graduate, for a Japanese degree that meant writing a 25 page paper about something related to Japan/Japanese language/culture. My topic of choice was the localization of Japanese video games for US audiences.

Actually, the whole reason I stumbled upon this topic was with the help of Teruteru and Miss Lotta Hart, from the Ace Attorney series. I wondered why in these two games (that I played in English) both had a character that spoke with a US southern accent, when the original games were written in Japanese. Obviously this had been a choice during localization, but why? How did they talk in the Japanese versions, and what’s the connection between their characters?

Well, for Lotta, she speaks with and Osaka dialect and portrays a character trope for loud, direct, and headstrong characters. Osaka characters are a character trope, pretty cut and dry. Teruteru doesn’t really fit into that, and only speaks with an accent near the end, so what does that mean?

I ended up writing a 7 page section titled “The Fascinating Case of Teruteru Hanamura”. I studied his dialect usage during the trial—it is not the same as Lotta’s dialect—I studied the way that he talks before he slips into that dialect, compared the stereotypes associated with the dialect that he uses and a US southern accent, and finally did an analysis of his character, why and how he masked where he was from, and why localization did a good job of conveying that character arc. Yeah, I did a lot of researching and thinking and writing about Teruteru.

And thesis? It’s stressful. I had a good many breakdowns over the course of the semester, but the only way to make myself less stressed was to do it. The trouble is, I have a really hard time organizing my thoughts on paper, but I can speak them really well. So in true self-shipper form, I found myself talking out my thoughts and planning my writing with fictional characters. And who’s the fictional character who was always on my mind? Teruteru. I ended up talking to him a lot, I got stressed a lot.

And ya know what? I think he’s exactly the f/o I needed to support me at that time. When I get super stressed, I don’t want to eat. I don’t want to go somewhere on campus to get food where people can see me falling apart. But it was a lot harder to skip meals when he was right there to bug me about it. “Honey, when did you eat last?” “Nah nah nah nah, I don’t think so. C’mon sugar, let’s go find something for you to eat.” “I’ll come with you, it won’t be so scary.” <3 <3 <3!!!!!!

So eventually my interest in him could not be considered solely academic any longer ^^;;;

So yeah, Souda-Pop, Teru Chan, and Nagito are my main polycule. I adore them. But this post is a novel as it is, so I’ll make a post just for them to continue gushing ^^

[ashenpages]

Current Projects & Emoji Voting Key

Quick disclaimer: I’m a romance writer in all aspects of the term, so most of my works will contain mature content. Engage at your own risk, you know the rules, you’re responsible for curating your own experience of the internet, blah blah blah.

This post serves as a current mock up of fic ideas I’m either actively working on or considering working on next. You can drop me an ask about any of them, or just vote via the emoji combo I’ve assigned them.

Voting lets me know you’re excited about an idea and makes it more likely I’ll actually work on it. You can vote anytime, there’re no deadlines or winner announcements, just me gauging your interest by what I see in my ask box most often.

You can also ask me about the original stuff I’m working on currently. The current WIPs are Medusa centric and the emoji for them is: 🐍

Support my original work on Ko-fi and Patreon.

- Lupin: 🤑🤠💍  These are all oneshot ideas, between 5-15K each. If you want to vote for a specific idea, send me the emojis and the number of the idea.

Born from the idea that Goemon and Zenigata probably couldn’t be an item, my brain decided to come up with how I could write for them. Goemon’s teaching an ikebana class as part of his training, and Zenigata shows up as a student on forced recreational leave for his health from the ICPO. Zenigata wins the samurai’s heart through flowers. But what happens when Lupin and Jigen find out? (Only good sexy things, I promise. These beans are in a healthy polycule--be gay, do crimes) (WIP)

Jigen/Lupin, but it's Jigen deciding to seduce Lupin while wearing his own Lupin disguise. The thief is waaaaay too into it, and some artistry is taken with the sex so that they don't mess up the disguise too much during their encoutner.

Jigen/Zenigata/Lupin where Jigen has some fantasices about Zenigata, but is pretty sure they'll never happen. Tells Lupin about them. Suddenly the fantasies are coming true, in the middle of a heist, and Jigen doesn't what to do except get swept up in the moment and enjoy. Plot twist, it's Lupin dressed up as Zenigata granting all his gunman's dreams. Plot twist again, Zenigata catches them at it.

Zenigata/Lupin, where Lupin keeps doing good things in illegal ways and Pops has to find a way to punish him for it. Good thing for Pops Lupin's a masochist?

Trans!Lupin and Trans!Jigen premise: Jigen cares for Lupin after the master thief has top surgery, since Jigen has Been There and Done That. Caring, sweet, and a little sexy. Lupin is a much better patient than Jigen.

The one time Zenigata caught Lupin in an alley and kissed him and it was Jigen in disguise. Things get sexy anyway, and Zenigata has crushes on two thieves now. Lupin and Jigen "kidnap" him later for an evening of taking care of their inspector.

The background plot of Jigen's Gravestone where we see Jigen think he's done for and try to leave Lupin. Our thief has none of it, and we get to relish in the inherent eroticism of Lupin sitting in sniper fire, knowing Jigen's got his back. This is the moment I think Jigen finally believes he can be with Lupin forever.

I love the idea of something longer and more plot driven like a Lupin special where Lupin ends up in hot water and Jigen and Fujiko have to work together to save him. Jigen and Fujiko have such an interesting relationship. They're both partners of Lupin, they don't really like each other, they constantly screw the other over, but when it really matters they take care of each other. I'd like to see that highlighted a little more and also give them space to call each other out and bicker. Nothing sexy between them, but maybe a really interesting threesome with Lupin and Fujiko in a strap on once they save their boy.

- Sonic Vampire Novelist Coffee Shop AU: 📚☕💐

Shadow is an immortal vampire who has seen the world change for the worse too many times. These days it feels like he only lives for his coffee dates with Rouge, another immortal who loves each new era they encounter, warts and all. He has to admit that the book series she got him into speaks to him, at least. If someone in this era can understand him without meeting him, it can’t all be bad. But he hardly expected the goofy blue barista at the new coffee place to understand him the way those books do.

This is a novel length romcom romp with some big feelings about what it means to watch as things change, grow, and die. Expect lots of Big gothic feelings from this one, emotionally charged kissing, and overly-adoring sex. But also expect shenanigans from everyone in the coffee shop, which include Rouge, Amy, Tails, Knuckles, Cream, and more.

- Sonic Blazamy, "Like the Sun": 💖🌸💎

Amy Rose has been in love with Sonic for a while.

Or has she?

When the Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Shadow, and Silver are trapped as the fuel sources for Doctor Eggman’s newest evil scheme, Amy teams up with Blaze, Rouge, and Cream to save them. With Sonic out of the picture and Amy fulfilling his role, was she ever really in love with him? Or did she just want to be like him?

This is a novel length epic romance with lots of competent women and lots of romantic Blazamy content. Expect flowery hopes and dreams, badass self-actualization, and glancing hand touches that give way to cuddly and sweet sex.

- Persona 5: 🗡🍛☕

After bringing down the Metaverse twice, Ryuji didn’t think graduating high school and figuring out what to do with his life would be so hard. Akira’s back in town, and the gang’s more-or-less all in Tokyo, but everyone else seems to have a plan while Ryuji just floats. How’s he supposed to change the world when he’s not a phantom thief anymore?

This is a novel length fic that addresses how powerless one can feel being just one person in the face of all the corrupted systems and bigotry the world has to offer. It’s about holding on to what you believe in, working through the doubt, and fighting your way to a better tomorrow with the power you do have. The whole gang is queer, featured relationships being Mako x Ann, Ryuji x Akira, Futaba & Yusuke as platonic life partners. Akira is polyamorous and omnisexual, Futaba’s asexual and aromantic while Yusuke is demisexual and very romantic, Makoto’s a lesbian, Ann and Ryuji are bi, and Haru’s pansexual, demisexual, and aromantic. They’re one giant band of queer Phantom Thieves, and even if they’re not really doing the Metaverse thing anymore, they’re still gonna save the world!

Also, I’m gonna make Makoto not a cop. That super didn’t age well. Zenkichi and his boss can work on making them better/abolishing them for other better organizations.

- Hades Game: ❤️‍🔥💀

Oneshot. I just really need to elaborate on the threesome you can have with them in-game, okay? Healthy and canon poly relationships are so few and far between, so often I have to do a ton of groundwork to explain why it’s working in the fic, but NOT WITH THESE KIDS!

Get ready for Meg helping Zag and Than be better at expressing their feelings, lots of kissing, and probably pegging.

- Castlevania Animation Trevor/Sypha/Alucard: 🧛🏰🛌

Castlevania gave Alucard a threesome last season, and I just really need S4 to give me him being taken care of by his partners. They’re probably not going to give it to me, so I’ll need to do it myself. This is just an everybody loves Alucard oneshot, with the gang’s signature banter (to an extent), Sypha being sexy, and Trever being remarkably sincere. This fic is gonna feel like that Ann Hathaway picture with Trevor kissing Alucard and Sypha holding the end of Trevor’s whip while she leans her head on Alucard’s shoulder adoringly.

- Devil May Cry Nico/Lady/Trish: 💋✨😈

Nico’s gay, okay? Like really, really gay. And Lady’s bi and not into men who make her pay bills, but very into women who make amazing guns for her and demonesses with hearts who fight by her side. Trish is ace, but loves people and is pretty attached to Lady at this point. Plus it’s cute when Lady blushes and says nice things like they’re insults. I don’t have super solid ideas for them yet, and I envision these more like a polycule where Lady’s with Nico and with Trish but they’re not with each other more than seeing it as a threesome, but who knows what might happen. This is probably 1-2 oneshots depending on ideas, but might turn into a series of oneshots if people are interested (or I can’t control myself and inspiration strikes).

- Post FMA:B Blind Roy & No Alchemy Ed: 👀👑🙏

This is actually an old novel-length fic I wrote ages ago and didn’t post that didn’t turn out well because I was new to writing sex when I first wrote it. The plot is good, and is all about Roy learning to work with his blindness to reclaim his ambition of being Fuhrer and changing the system to something that actually cares for its people. He and Ed reconnect, fall into bed, and both set about working through their respective traumas about being “useless” having lost their sight/alchemy. They go to Xing as an ambassadorial party to offer Amestris’s collaboration on Al and May’s Alkahestry experiments--and uncover a plot that might threaten both kingdoms.

- Age of Calamity continuity Mipha x Revali: 🦚🐟💘

The first time Revali noticed Mipha, it was in the heat of battle. She stole his mark, taking them down with a flurry of quick blows from her spear. Violence rained from her like water--and then she healed him on her way to her next battle. No questions, no conditions, just pure kindness. The usual need to measure himself against those around him was quiet in her wake. And Revali couldn’t understand it. But how to get to know more about her? A fish and bird may fall in love, but where would they live?

This fic could be a oneshot or novel length depending on how far down the hole I fall. I need it to cover time, but it could be done in linked vignettes or with actually covering events in detail. I may elect to do a oneshot just to get it done and out of my system faster. So much fic to write, so little time.

Expect trans!Revali, polyamorous Zoras, scary competent Mipha, songbird Revali, love confessions that are made up entirely of berating Link for not loving Mipha the way she wants him to, and breaking these characters a little outside of their assigned roles in BotW and Age of Calamity. Background Link x Zelda, and Urbosa x Zelda’s Mom.

- Epic desert romance about Urbosa and Zelda’s mom: 🏜🏝⚡

I just think Urbosa should kiss women and Zelda’s mom should get more development and maybe a name or something. Also, lightning imagery/metaphors/play.

It also went way over my head that Riju wasn’t Urbosa’s daughter the first time I played BotW, so now I want to write about the Gerudo queen who refused to produce an heir. The Gerudo are fascinating and have a very interesting cutlure, but I think it could be examined from a nonbinary perspective that rejected pregnancy and wanting to find a husband. Not in like a hateful way, but in a way that examines if that’s really right for everyone. There’s that shop in town that sells Voe armor, after all. Maybe finding a husband and having children isn’t something you have to do if you don’t want to. And Urbosa really doesn’t want to.

[doorsclosingslowly]

This Is the Time of Our Great Undoing

“Do you think Kaz could fuck someone in a full-body bondage suit?” Jesper whispers, more to distract Inej from what’s on the screen than anything else, but still—the idea won’t leave Kaz alone.

5.8k | modern AU | Kaz[/&]Jesper, part of a polycule

content note: despite the premise this is about cuddling, gambling addiction and existing during climate change

It starts the way most things used to start: with all of them piled onto ancient couches on the fifth floor of an otherwise empty building on the edge of Amsterdam, also called the Slat. These days, it’s harder and harder to get everyone together. Nina and Matthias are both in Rotterdam now, doing associate degrees that Kaz doesn’t care about. Wylan’s got room and board and a plan for the future and a social worker, and she already disapproves of Jesper as a bad influence so it’s not worth it, generally, for Wylan to come back to his old squat and hang out with the whole gang of ex- and current reprobates.

And Inej—fuck, Kaz wishes she was just a little less righteous, less concerned with how the world’s going to shit. She’s faced off against more cops now than he has, probably. Water cannons and charging horses and riot shields. She knows criminals all over the country, Europe, probably the world—but they’re the kind of criminals with morals and worthless targets, with bandanas and badly sewn patches, who will talk about Federici and sea levels and the Invisible Committee and use value if you don’t leave quickly enough. The kind that live on trees, as Inej’s going to do in a few days. The kind that don’t make any money. The kind that have even less of a chance of making it out of a job alive and free than Kaz does—and with the enemies she’s talking about, politicians, banks, Shell, he doesn’t even know if he’ll be able to extort her out of jail next time.

For now, though, they’re all together in the big room, watching some ancient movie on the massive 8k screen with mood lighting, etc, the works, that’s in the Slat courtesy of some MediaMarkt manager desperate enough to save her marriage to bribe Kaz into silence, but not so desperate she wouldn’t fuck two other women in the breakroom.

It’s impossible to know whose fault it is that they’re currently watching Pulp Fiction.

Kaz is inclined to blame Jesper, because most things are his fault in some way or another, and he’s supplying the login data for an old uni flatmate’s streaming accounts, which is where they found that film, front and centre, paid to rent until tomorrow. Who even pays for films? If that’s the calibre of people they send to university these days, it’s no wonder the planet’s going to the dogs. Jesper, though, swears he wanted to watch some goofy horror flick, so he’s splitting the blame with Nina and Matthias: Matthias, for growing up in a cult and having never heard of what’s apparently a film classic and mentioning that to Nina, who of course cooed over her boyfriend and insisted on it, even though actually none of them have watched it before either so it’s not like it’s an important cinematic milestone. Or just not b horror, crime, some weird arthouse thing with complicated morality… It’s weird and has crime but there is nothing to figure out, so Kaz is bored. It’s Inej’s fault, because instead of vetoing it she said yes, just because she has a heart-shaped soft spot for Nina. Wylan could have done his oh I’m still an innocent barely-two-years not a minor this looks bloody thing, and Kaz might not even have mocked him this time if he'd insisted on Jesper’s pick instead just so he could hide in Jesper’s arms for the most minor decapitations.

Jesper’s been talking through the whole film. Kaz got used to that a long time ago: the landing and failing of small non-sequitur jokes like rain against the window, whispered to Wylan who’s cuddled into his side on the left, or to Inej who’s burrowing under Jesper’s outstretched right arm. Sometimes Jesper thinks a quip will land better with Nina, so he shouts it over to the futon where she and Matthias are always just shy of engaging in heavy petting, and the really mean and bleak jokes he saves for when he’s made eye contact with Kaz.

Now, though: in this scene Mr Motorcycle and the gang boss are captured in a pawnshop and dragged into the basement, and Gang Boss gets raped. Inej’s hand is white-knuckled on Jesper’s arm, and Jesper’s talking non-stop. He’s talking about the flooding, and asking whether Inej thinks Doggerland will happen again but here, soon, you can never know when the scientists are so wrong about the speed of climate change, and apparently it all flooded in a day because something broke off Norway, and then he abruptly pivots to some demo where he bashed in a shop window and got new shoes, and then if she’s got dates for more street fights because then he’s in but please, don’t trick me into another book club, I don’t care about why the cops are bad I already know I just want to hit them—not topics Kaz would have chosen, exactly, but he’s rooted in his red leather armchair off to the side, not even able to hold her for comfort, not like Jes does now, and why didn’t they think to look up the content beforehand, why did they assume it was tame just because it’s an old film—and then, long after it’s over, Jesper idly asks, “Do you think Kaz could fuck someone in a full-body bondage suit?”

Wylan groans. Kaz wishes a sound existed that could express his own current emotion.

“You saw the guy, right?” Jesper turns over to Wylan, while still stroking Inej’s hair. “There was no skin on him. All leather. And that’s the trigger, so—might solve all our problems. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it before!”

“I don’t see a huge difference,” Nina snipes. “Kaz is already in all-black, with gloves. Though I guess, that hood would hide his atrocious haircut…”

“Stop being so mean to Kaz, Jesper,” Matthias mumbles. “Although he does deserve it.”

Kaz downs his entire glass of vodka. When he tops his drink up for the second time—he exed the first refill right in the kitchen—he brings the bottle and some maracuja juice over and refills Jesper’s, too, because Jesper’s been anxiously glancing over at him, every moment he thinks Kaz has turned his head away, since he shot his stupid mouth off and actually, it’s—Kaz isn’t thinking about it now but it just might—maybe it could work—well, he fills up the glass to stop Jesper from worrying himself into yet another mental crisis and also so he can bend over Jesper’s ear and whisper lovingly, “I’m going to make the leather for the suit out of your skin.”

“We should look for an Ed Gein film next!” Jesper laughs, much more brightly than the joke warrants, and Kaz refuses to interpret the look on his face.

+

By the time Kaz gets back to the Slat, on a day roughly three months later, it’s long past two in the morning. He’s in a foul mood: of course Haskell won’t even reimburse him for the taxi he had to take because he missed the last metro. Of course he just told Kaz to take a night bus. Haskell won’t even apologize for the last minute details he wants included in his casino’s tax returns. The old man’s not even mentally capable of understanding the extra work he caused. Yes, Kaz is good at filing taxes creatively, exactly tailored for the business to pay nothing whatsoever and meticulous enough to never arouse any suspicion, but that takes work. Things have to balance. Haskell thinks Kaz just has to press a button, and that he’s paying Kaz so he doesn’t have to press the button himself, and that it’s only worth it because he doesn’t want to sully his mind with ‘the Spreadsheet Program’. Which is also why he’s loaning Kaz out to a friend of his, which he just remembered to mention today, for that guy’s mattress store slash money laundering business, so that’s even more work for nowhere near enough money.

Sometimes, Kaz amuses himself with the idea of sneaking in small ‘mistakes’. Enough for even the stupidest tax official to unravel the whole sordid scheme and land Haskell in prison for tax fraud, whereupon he’ll also be discovered to be involved with drug smuggling, blackmail, murder, … none of which will ever trace back to Kaz. But the one time he was livid enough to try, nothing happened. He’ll never manage to plunge the true depths of stupidity of an average bureaucrat, apparently, and is thus doomed to failure.

And anyway, it’s good regular money for little work. Usually. He can’t really complain. Especially not to his friends, because three are going legit, Inej will just rant about the uselessness of defrauding the Belastingdienst for a few measly million euros a year when the world’s being set on fire every day, and Jesper’ll tell him to quit, again, because they live in a squat after all. It’s not like they’re paying rent. Jesper’s never heard of forethought, or gratitude. He doesn’t know how many of his bills Kaz has paid off.

Kaz’s leg aches after the climb to the third story. Two more to go. As usual, right at this point he remembers the joke Jesper made eight months ago about fooling someone into installing a stair lift, and as usual, he dismisses it in disgust after two more steps. Stomps harder on the next flight of stairs, with grim satisfaction at the shooting pains in his knee. He doesn’t need help. He doesn’t need to move to a house with a working lift, and he doesn’t need a stair lift, either. Fuck you, Jesper. I’m the actual functional adult with a job in this household. I don’t need a stair lift.

That’s what he would throw at Jesper’s head, but it’s nearly three o’clock, and Jesper’s probably out. Over at Wylan’s, if he knows what’s good for him, but given how evasive he’s been all week, how manic… Inej’s still camping high up in some forest to save the frogs or something, but no news there is supposed to be good news. If the cops had chucked her off a tree house, it would have been on tv. About everything else, he can worry after he’s slept.

He doesn’t bother with the lights in his room. The streetlight coming in through his open curtains is more than enough, and anyway, he found the empty tenement he turned into the Slat five years ago, fully moved down here three years ago when he met Jesper, and he knows every single thing in his room by heart. The antique dresser he made Jesper and Matthias carry up with the threat of cutting off a finger for every scratch it received is next to the door, the place where he leaves his gloves and wallet and phone and cane. The coat rack beside it, where the hangers for his suit are, then the hamper, and at the foot of his bed the long black linen nightgown that Jesper’s never, ever allowed to see, and—

There’s a black shape on top of his bedcovers, Kaz realizes when he’s pulled on his nightgown.

Kaz takes his cane back. He hasn’t made any new enemies recently as far as he’s aware—none who know his name—but he was careless, brutal, desperate when he was a lone kid getting by on the streets, and those victims had gangs, families, business partners. Just because no-one’s ever traced little Kazzie the bastard rabid dog back to the Slat-that-wasn’t-then doesn’t mean a thing. The fact that the friends he started collecting press-ganged him into doing more behind-the-scenes embezzlement and fewer turf wars because ‘they’re watching us, they have all our faces and fingers and DNA on file and cameras everywhere and did you hear about that informer having kids with the activist he spied on?’ or the more pragmatic, ‘If you don’t stop fucking up your leg on purpose I’m going to send you to a kink party you fucking masochist’…

None of it means safety, not really, and Kaz is glad he’s alone now. They’ve all moved on, and even Jes… well, if he’d been here tonight then the whole squat would be trashed because Jesper doesn’t come quietly. And now, if he comes back to find Kaz gone or his throat slit… Jesper’s going to fucking collapse. He’s been one phone call away from going hysteric all week. Who knows, though—he has Wylan now, and maybe it’ll be the push he needed, the path none of them could ever find, to get his life back on a solid track.

All of that is presupposing that Kaz loses, of course.

And he does not intend to.

The weird black ninja on Kaz’ bed hasn’t reacted yet. They’re curled into a foetal position and they’re snuffling, quietly, because they’re asleep.

Not even assassins dressed up as b movie henchmen expect the toll taken by Per Haskell’s technical naïveté and utter disrespect for Kaz’ work-life balance, apparently. He got back home so late he missed his own murder. Well, then. Kaz hasn’t tortured anyone in two years and he may be out of practice, but the films he’s been forced to watch in the meantime have, if anything, made him more creative. He’ll teach them not to underestimate the brutality of Kaz Brekker, even when he’s moved up a few rungs in the ladder of Amsterdam’s underworld and landed a desk job.

He’ll—but Kaz hasn’t had to stalk silently towards his prey in two years, either. He’s underestimated the extent to which his lame leg’s gotten worse.

Also, someone’s pulled a box out from under his bed.

Kaz stumbles, and in the split-second before he catches himself on the edge of the mattress he wonders—will they have a gun? I can still bash them in the head before they fire, I haven’t gone that soft—and then the would-be assassin stretches out their lanky body as they wake up.

With their arms raised over their head, Kaz can see the bright white light of the street lanterns outside reflect off the gleaming black PVC fabric they’re wearing. Sleek and skin-tight, no ornamentation except a few steel buttons glinting at the crotch, and a full-cover leather hood over their face adorned with one-euro-sized rivets at the jaw, the forehead, the bridge of the nose, the large buckle around the neck. More buckles, at the back of the head and hanging off the right side at eye-height. The open silver zipper at the mouth reflects the streetlight, too, as does the padlock that hangs off it.

Oh no. Kaz knows that mask. Not even shoving it all the way back to the furthest corner under his bed allowed him to forget the way it looks.

Oh no.

Jesper yawns loudly. “Morning, boss. Evening. One of those. I thought you were finishing work early?”

“Haskell had some last-minute revisions to his tax returns.” Kaz sighs. “Don’t cook tomorrow. I’ll be out late for the whole next week—don’t expect me before three am. New client. I need to create a whole year’s documentations from scratch.”

“Just fuck him over, boss. He doesn’t appreciate you, and you don’t need the money. We live in a fucking squat.”

Sweet, financially illiterate nuisance Jesper, who probably doesn’t even know what that awful mistake he’s dressed in right now cost. The thing he’s dressed in. Which was hidden under Kaz’ bed. In Kaz’ room. Which they are inside right now. “You broke into my room,” Kaz rasps. “Again.”

“You know, Kaz,” Jesper replies with poorly feigned innocence, ”this thing is a little big for you. Fits me pretty well, though.”

“I told you I don’t keep cash under my bed. I told you that, the last time you tried to steal from me to pay off your gambling debts. I like my room organized as it is, and so I don’t keep any money here. Not under the bed, not in the wardrobe. And you won’t find any of my actual caches, because I’m smarter than you.”

“You’ve lied to me before.”

“You’ve stolen from me before. Remember last year? Remember you made Inej cry? I though you were clean. I thought you promised Wylan, when you asked him out, that you were done gambling. Maybe we all had too much trust in you.”

Jesper pulls his PVC-clad shoulders up to his en-leathered ears: a ridiculous sight, and Kaz doesn’t know what’s worse. That a bondage sex slave could actually look this dejected and humiliated and alone, or that Jesper does. He’s almost ready to call off the assault. It took a while to figure out, but as usual Inej was probably right, because she’s been researching and discussing the mental health industrial complex in general, and the traumatizing nature of modern life, with her comrades. Even though Kaz is neither the kind of person to touch people with kid gloves, and nor does he like thinking of Jesper as someone who needs that kind of handling—when Jesper’s in a shame spiral this deep then any criticism will drive him even deeper into the arms of the next casino. So the adrenaline and dopamine can wipe out everything else, or to feed his self-loathing even more by being exactly the person he’s terrified people think he is—Jes couldn’t quite explain it himself during the Intervention, except that everything is too much sometimes, even more too much and faster than usual.

He’s a pitiful creature. Kaz almost has pity. Then, though—

“It’s not working, boss. I know why you’re reminding me I fucking relapsed, again, and tried to steal from my best friend, again, and that I’m going to beg you to lie to Wy, again, but I still haven’t forgotten I’m wearing a bondage suit that you’ve been keeping under your bed for—two months now, is it?”

It’s just one month, actually. The manufacture and shipping took six whole weeks.

Two can play that game. Kaz might be very slightly embarrassed, but Jesper’s relapsed into the combination of addiction, theft and deceit that destroyed his life three years ago, and nearly did so again, two-and-a-half years ago and one year ago. “Careful. I haven’t even yet agreed to lie to Wylan, Jesper. About your problem. That you promised you’d tell him about.”

“Also, I notice it fits me, not Inej. Not Nina. Not Matthias. Not even Haskell, I bet. Me. Almost like it was made for me.”

Kaz ignores his insinuations. The answer’s obvious, anyway: yes, he did take clothes from the main washing pile in Jesper’s room and measured them. Yes, he used the measurements when he ordered a bondage suit. Yes, that’s creepy. Yes, a decent person would have asked. No, he’s not sorry. Jesper knew who Kaz was when he moved in with him. And it’s not like Kaz is the one who’s really at fault here. If Jesper just stopped gambling, he’d never have found out.

“Even attempted theft is illegal, Jesper. Completed robbery is worse. I cover my tracks, but you… you should be careful what you say now. They’re still looking for whoever robbed that jeweller last year.”

“Inej’s gonna cut off your head if you try. It’s like you never read her hoodies. All cats are beautiful, et cetera, Kaz. Thirteen-twelve. Keep up.”

Sometimes, the only thing that keeps Kaz from tossing Jesper out of the Slat is that Inej hates landlords and landlord-adjacents just as much as the pigs. If only he’d known back when he let the drunk penniless fancy uni boy who jumped into a fight to defend Kaz from some thugs—a fight Kaz would have won regardless—if only he’d known, before he let Jesper crash on his floor for a night or two, where all of this would end. “I’ll never mention anything about tonight again if you don’t either. Forget it. It was a bad idea. A failed plan. That’s all.”

“Without even trying it?”

“I will zip your mouth shut,” Kaz rasps. “I’ll lock it. I’ll throw the key into the harbour. Fuck you.”

Jesper, though, somehow got even mouthier when he put the bondage suit on. Less respectful. This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. “Come on, Kaz,” he wheedles. “I put it on, right? So I’m fine with it, if you’re worried. Aren’t you curious? If our places had been reversed—well, if you’d found it in my room you’d have murdered me, so we’re not exactly identical, but still. Come on, sit down next to me. This is—PVC right? Good job choosing me. Inej would hate it. So much plastic.”

“It’s less like skin than leather.”

“Not complaining, Kaz. I have some juice with a straw over there to keep me hydrated in case I sweat like a pig, but I haven’t, yet. I can probably camp out in this for a few more hours.” He tries a patented Jesper I’m flirting in an over the top way to make you laugh which is my flirting style for when I’m genuinely worried about the reaction because this way I can pass off exasperation and mockery as the response I intended look, probably with fluttering eyes, but since Kaz can barely make them out through those open zippers and the rest of his face is a complete mystery, it falls flat. It looks ridiculous, though, so it also works, and Jesper has the nerve of complaining about Kaz’ eight-dimensional chess plans. He’s worse. He’s worse, and animated by Jesper’s ridiculous, familiar movements the bondage suit doesn’t look like a pathetic attempt anymore. Not like the desperation of an emotional cripple. It just looks like Jesper, with an extra layer on his skin. Jesper, probably making a duckface, purring, “Don’t you think I’m sexy?”

Kaz looks away. “Are you serious right now?”

“Of course,” Jesper replies instantly, as if there was never any reason to doubt him. As if he doesn’t blame Kaz for doubting, simultaneously. As if Kaz is allowed to try. To fail. To fuck up, risk hurting him. There is a reason why Kaz never even considered someone else for the suit. “Come on, get on the bed.”

“We have to talk with Inej first. And with Wylan.”

“One-track mind,” Jesper replies, and just like that Kaz is ready to murder him again. “We’re not fucking. We’re not doing more than normal, except maybe touch. We don’t even know yet whether this helps you. I’m not risking it. We’ll just try touching, and if you think it’s triggering, we stop. We’ve got all the time in the world to work up to more. Until this city sinks into the ocean and the grid collapses from heat, which might be tomorrow, so. Or the fascists win.”

“You’ve been listening to Inej.”

“I do try to keep up.”

“Well, stop. Or listen more carefully, until the end, when she gets to the doomerism is the opiate of the masses part.”

“Just get on the bed, Kaz.”

Kaz puts his bent good knee onto the mattress and pulls himself over to Jesper. The fabric of his linen smock rubs against his heated skin: not like corpses, not like that, not like Jordie and he won’t even think about him or this will be over but—it just feels like his own familiar coarse age-softened nightgown that Jesper hasn’t even made fun of yet, his thin nightgown that in a second will be one of only two layers between him and Jesper.

He rolls over so he can sit down next to Jesper, at first. Daringly, he leans an arm against his best—well, they’ll figure that out later.

“Okay?” Jesper asks. He has to crane his head a lot to look through the thin eye slits of his bondage mask at Kaz’ face, and even then he’s probably mostly seeing the gleaming teeth of the eyehole zippers. And still he leans forward forty-five degrees and twists his torso and neck so he can look up into Kaz’ face, carefully keeping the arm that’s touching Kaz as motionless as possible, because he’s being careful with Kaz. Kaz has told him a thousand times he hates being coddled. He’s not a poor little abused dog, he’s a vicious murderer who destroyed his leg and his ability to be close to people while he was murdering, that’s all he ever told Jesper. That lie. And yet—even if he’s only fooling himself because this scene is so patently ridiculous, and the psych ward he got sent to once for the crime of rough sleeping while underage would stamp every single thing about what they’re doing as deeply unhealthy, and he can’t see Jesper’s soft concerned expression under the hood… Whatever it is, Kaz feels warm all over. He feels good. Safe.

Jesper can tell, apparently. “Want to touch my chest? Or climb into my lap?”

Kaz moves over, carefully smoothing down his nightgown before he sits down on Jesper, angled so he can lean with his left arm pressed against Jesper’s chest. It’s safer, somehow, than giving him the back, but perhaps someday…

Jesper loosely wraps his arms around Kaz. They’re just there, barely touching, the hands lax on top of Kaz’ right knee. You can leave at any time, they say, I’ll let go as soon as you’re uncomfortable, and Kaz would have known that regardless. Jesper’s never usually this still, unless he’s lost in concentration: and Kaz, who’s seen how gambling can destroy someone’s life, how it is currently destroying someone’s life, would still bet everything he has ever owned that Jesper’s concentrating on every single aspect of Kaz’ body language right now.

It’s not necessary, though. Those hands are gleaming black PVC. They don’t look or feel anything like Kaz’ memories.

He drops his own naked right hand onto Jesper’s gloved one. Joins them. Anchors Jesper. “How much do you owe this time, Jes?”

A beat. Jesper’s face drops down towards Kaz’ lap. Trying to hide his shame, and he’s forgotten that he’s wearing a full bondage mask, that Kaz can barely make out his eyes through the slits of the zippers. If he’s trying to deny everything, Kaz will just beat it out of him. He’s done it before. A year ago, when it was bad, but Jesper promised he got it under control. But Jesper’s promises were never worth much, not for this. If they were, they’d never have met.

“Four grand.”

“To?”

“Tom Geels. One of Big Bol’s old friends—”

“So he put you up to—”

“I was already playing when he walked up to me, Kaz,” Jesper grinds out. Aware that he could save himself from at least a little of Kaz’ disappointment by casting Bollinger as the tempter. Simultaneously aware that Kaz promised to feed Bollinger to a marine propeller last year if he ever took Jesper gambling again. Noble, to try and save Bollinger’s life—or to save Kaz from committing another murder—not that either of them deserves his loyalty. “I’ll pay you back, Kaz. I’ll have the money. Give me—give me half a year, Da’s still sending me—sending me rent money, Christ, he’s—I’ll save it. No, you’ll get it straight as soon as I get it, and in six months, you’re paid back in full. I promise.”

“We’ll figure it out. I have some jobs I could use you on. Nothing big. Intimidation, mostly. Some breaking, some entering. Boring stuff, not even worth mentioning to Wylan I should think.”

“Thank you.” Jesper’s forgotten all his restraint. He’s kissing Kaz’ forehead, or rather kissing the inside of his mask that’s pressed against Kaz’ forehead. He’s wrapped Kaz tightly in his long bondage arms too, painfully twisting Kaz’ shoulder and elbow and wrist because Kaz is still holding onto his hand. It’s that welcome pain, and the texture of the bondage suit that Kaz still isn’t completely used to, that keeps him from breaking Jesper’s nose. Keeps him—he isn’t back in the North Sea. He isn’t with Jordie. He should be, but he isn’t, and even if it comes…

Inej taught him about grounding. None of them trust the system as far as they can throw it, so she didn’t send him to a shrink when they started dating, unlike he feared, but—she said they helped her, those grounding exercises she found on the internet, and so Kaz has been diligently practicing breathing techniques and focusing his awareness on details of the present moment. Five things he can see: well, it’s dark, but the way what little streetlight gets through reflects off the folds of the suit on Jesper’s bowed stomach is quite interesting. His own knees. His hand, still clutching Jesper’s. The cane, on the floor. The floor. Five things he can hear: early morning traffic, Jesper’s breath, Jesper trying not to sob out loud in relief or shame or a mixture of both, the rustling of fabric, the squeaking of fabric. Five things he can feel: The old ache of his leg, always. Jesper’s hand. Jesper’s thighs. The hard buttons at the flap over Jesper’s crotch, digging into his side.

Somehow, Jesper’s noticed his shift in focus. At least he’s stopped crying now. “You know, you could have just asked how big I am if you wanted a suit with a dick pouch,” he teases in a voice that almost manages to sound happy. “I wouldn’t even have been suspicious.”

“Just because you have no boundaries, Jes, doesn’t mean I have to sink down to meet you at your level.”

Jesper takes a big breath. To forestall the whole Who bought this bondage suit argument Kaz elbows him in the stomach, hard. Once Jesper’s done coughing—a wriggling movement against Kaz’ side that he’s never even felt before—he mumbles something else, though. “I texted Da my new number. He called last week. Wanted to know how I was doing,” and oh. That makes sense. That’s what did it. “Apparently I’m graduating in seven months, according to that fake schedule you made me so I could keep my lies straight. He wants to come to the graduation. He asked me whether I have a job lined up.”

“I could hire somebody to fake you a degree,” Kaz offers. This should be Inej’s job. She shouldn’t be off somewhere, saving grasshoppers. She should be here. She’s the one who tried to talk Jesper into coming clean to his father, last year. All Kaz knows, all he has ever done, is to keep digging, and it’s worked for him. So far. “It’s all the rage now I hear. Cheap, too. No-one will find out. Just don’t become a politician in Germany.”

Jesper sighs. The air kisses the back of Kaz’ neck. “I don’t even care anymore. I could have a degree, or not, it all doesn’t matter. Universities are a scam to regulate economic class relations anyway. I don’t know that I can keep lying forever, or get a job, just so I don’t have to tell Da I betrayed him. Because nothing matters anyway. We’re collectively throwing the future down the drain. It’s not like anyone needs another mechanical engineer when we hit four degrees. I don’t know what we need. I just know everything I know is pointless.”

“I’m sure Inej can hook you up, if you want to blow up a coal power plant.”

“But what about you, then? What would you do?”

“I could have you kidnapped,” Kaz says. That’s not what Jesper meant. Kaz refuses to think about what Jesper meant. “Fake your death. Colm will be so relieved when they find you that he won’t even care you failed all your studies so you could become a live-in human blow-up doll.”

“That’ll only keep Da happy for a year at most and you know it.”

“Well, then Colm’s just going to have to get used to it. Get used to you, like we did. Real, annoying, good-for-nothing directionless screw-up Jesper.”

Jesper rubs his leathered cheek against the crown of Kaz’ head. “Fuck you. Thanks.”

Kaz runs his fingers over the squeaky PVC on Jesper’s forearms, steeling himself before he whispers idly against Jesper’s neck, “If Inej’s right about the warming and the sea level over the next decades, it won’t just be refugees from the south we’re letting drown, people it’s easy to lock out. Maybe you’re right about the Doggerland thing, and we all get flooded.” He swallows. The words are high up in his throat, trying to spew out. “Then it won’t just be one stupid child with a stupid family going out boating in the North Sea when there’s a storm coming. Not just that one kid thrown out of a sinking boat nearly drowning and clinging to his brother’s corpse. Your blow-up doll skills will be in high demand if everyone else gets triggered by skin contact too.”

Jesper, miraculously, reveals a talent Kaz didn’t even know he possessed: he shuts up. He ghosts his gloved hands over Kaz’ shoulders, and then he starts carding his fingers through Kaz’ hair. Kaz can feel the static electricity building up, the crackles and the safety, and then he realizes his eyes have drifted shut. He realizes he doesn’t know how long Jesper’s been petting him.

“Take off your hood,” he mumbles.

“Kaz?”

“Take it off. Scuttle over so your head’s on the pillow.”

Jesper obeys, like Kaz always knew he would. He looks up at Kaz with something that might be confusion but might also be—trust and deep joy and more, something Kaz can’t quite admit anymore now he’s in his bed, and Kaz puts his head down on his chest. His legs will still fit, and this way, he has the squeaky PVC right where he needs it. Squeaky, rhythmically rising warm dry plastic under him. The exact opposite of a waterlogged corpse.

“I don’t have time to call you an ambulance when you get into a bondage suit erotic asphyxiation incident, just so you know. I have a full schedule for today, remember. I’ll be at Haskell’s until after midnight. I have to break Bollinger’s thumbs. My alarm is at seven. Turn it off and I’ll send you to Colm in bite-sized pieces,” Kaz rasps, and then, with a movement that no-one would call timid if they wanted to keep their tongue attached, wraps his arms around Jesper. “You’ve kept me awake for two hours, so be a good pillow. If I kick you off the bed while I’m dozing, remember. This is your fault.”