#i need to listen to their other songs but i remember the albums being soooo long and i just havent been arsed to sit down and- | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

astro-b-o-y-d · 10 months ago

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Part 2, we're just gonna dive right into it:

Caramella Girls - Caramelldansen - I'm really starting part 2 with that, huh. Alright, sure. Yeah, I stand by it. Tell me he wouldn't love it. Tell me he wouldn't blast it in Ford's head at 3am while Ford is utterly exhausted. It's especially weird, given how the song wouldn't be out at that point in time. Maybe he snagged it from the future.

O-Zone - Dragostea Din Tei - Oh, hey, the original song. Just felt wrong having a bunch of different versions of the song without it, even if I feel like Bill would vibe with the more dance-y versions more.

Psynwav - Musical Tangents: 01 Industry Victory - Oh, hey, we're getting into super weird (no AL) mashup territory. I mean, I had Sweet Victory in the first half and I'm pretty sure I have Industry Baby on here as well, unless I decide to remove it when I get there.

Anyway this one and the next few are the ones from this album that I feel like Bill would probably have on a party playlist somewhere. I had to physically restrain myself from adding A Bite At The Pizzeria on the list as well. I might add it at some point anyway.

Psynwav - Musical Tangents: 09 Happy Hour - Bit of a tamer one but it's very fun. Also Cbat makes a return.

Psynwav - Musical Tangents: 10 We Don't Make Meme Mashups - This one is just batshit and only gets more chaotic by the end. Love it to pieces.

Ryan Chongoshow - MAD RAT PURGATORY - I needed at least one Ryan Chongoshow original mashup on here and also I'm SO sad he hasn't uploaded The Jam Revolving on Youtube as its own video because I'd 100% add that as well.

Either way, if you want to check it out for yourselves, it's here in the full Behindtale album. Which I'd just recommend on its own outside of any Bill playlists if you love mashups and Undertale. Consider that an honorary playlist song.

Lil Nas X - INDUSTRY BABY - Okay, so this isn't on here because I think it applies to Bill. This is on here because I feel like he'd apply it to himself. I don't think it suits him but I feel like he'd think it suits him, you know? But bestie, it doesn't. 'Oh, I'm gonna make the biggest comeback, I'm gonna prove them all wrong!' Dude. Anyway, great song.

Lipps Inc. - Funkytown - Yeah :)

Earth, Wind & Fire - September - Yeah :) (These ones are just fun vibes, don't have any other reasons besides that)

Britney Spears - Circus - ALL EYES ON ME IN THE CENTER OF THE RING, JUST LIKE A CIRCUSSS~ This one's just fun and also listen to the lyrics. Can you not imagine Bill being like 'Oh, that's soooo me~!'?

Britney Spears - Toxic - YOU GET IT BECAUSE HE'S TO-god, this playlist really bounces between coding him as an angsty teenage boy and a girlypop teenage girl. So real, if we're being honest.

Lou Bega - Mambo No. 5 (A Little Bit of…) - This song has those 'singer is trying to sound so cool and suave while also kinda coming across as a huge dork' vibes, in the best way. So, like...*gestures at Bill* Also does anyone remember the Radio Disney version where he sings about wanting to hook up with the Disney characters? That was weird.

Katy Perry - Firework - This song's so fucking annoying, but you know Bill would hear those first few lyrics and go 'Ugh, she gets me.'

Switchfoot - This Is Your Life - Once again, I show my Christian upbringing in full by slapping another Switchfoot song on here, but also like. Listen to it. Can you not imagine it being sung to him from the Axolotl's perspective? Am I just stretching so hard I dislocate my arm? Who's to say?

Geppetto Soundtrack - Pleasure Island - I feel like only three other people outside of me grew up with this movie, but also this song's got fun, sinister vibes.

Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta Feeling - Honestly, just assume any Black Eyed Peas songs are on here because they'd be loud and annoying. I mean, I like their music but I know that's the general consensus for them.

Black Eyed Peas - Boom Boom Pow - Like I said above.

will.i.am ft. Britney Spears - Scream & Shout - Not technically a Black Eyed Peas song but I feel like it falls in the same vein of often being scorned by people who just hate fun. Also it's got more Britney, and while I can't imagine Bill's as much a Britney girlie as he is a Kesha girlie, he's still got a handful of her songs at the ready.

Typing that also made me realize how I have, like, no Lady Gaga songs on this playlist. I dunno, while she's definitely weird, I feel like her brand of weird and Bill's brand of weird aren't completely overlapping. At least in terms of music, he'd definitely love that meat dress. Maybe some of her songs will end up on the list at some point.

Black Eyed Peas - Dirty Bit - This is the last song of theirs for now, but I know I added Let's Get It Started down the list. I know too many of their songs.

Pitbull ft. Christina Aguilera - Feel This Moment - I don't have enough Pitbull on this list. I should fix that. I considered Timber, but even with Kesha, it just didn't feel right for a Bill playlist. Dunno, the vibes were off to me.

Taio Cruz - Dynamite - I THROW MY HANDS UP IN THE AIR SOMETIMES, SAYIN' AYYYYOOOO, GOTTA LET GO-

Nova Twins - Undertaker - An anon suggested this, and I LOVE their rage. The lyrics are very Bill as well~!

Pure Hell - No Rules - Another anon suggestion, and once again, it definitely has those Bill vibes! So much rage, I love it!

Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit - Of course. Of course.

Weird Al - Smells Like Nirvana - Again, of course. I should really tie the two of these together with the cover in the first part, but I feel like they all encompass Bill to some degree. The silliness, the rage, the ominous vibes. Whichever one you pick, I can see it applied to him.

DJ Cummerbund - Shaxicula - This mashup's just silly and fun.

Basshunter - DotA - I believe Puff put this on their playlist as well, and the ONLY reason I remember that is because I saw the song title and went 'Wait, I haven't thought about that song in years!' Anyway, yeah.

Team Four Star - My Way Lyric Video (TFS Perfect Cell Cover) - Specifically this cover. It just hit different.

The Black Eyed Peas - Let's Get It Started - We're not going to talk about the original version. We're not going to do it. Don't know what the original version is? Good, keep it that way. We're just going to enjoy this version and agree that they'd be bumping it so loud in the Fearamid.

djJack - Heffalumps and Woozles Remix and djJack - Pink Elephants on Parade Remix - Loud remixes of already super-weird Disney songs. I dig it.

Awkwafina & Daveed Diggs - The Scuttlebutt - What the FUCK were they thinking with this? Anyway, it's one of the worst songs I've ever heard in my life. So naturally I added it to my Bill playlist. Does it relate to him? Not really. Would he love it? Absolutely.

Ylvis - The Fox (What Does The Fox Say) - I think we're just getting into songs that Bill would slap on his party playlist because they're so goddamn annoying. I have a LOT less to say about some of these other than 'They're annoying, he'd love them.' But that's all we need, right?

Eminem - Without Me - Pretty sure this was a Drake suggestion, too. Also annoying but my dad listened to a lot of Eminem when I was growing up so it's kind of nostalgic for me. Anyway, I fully support slapping mediocre white boy music onto my Bill playlist.

Lil Bigg Dawggg - Straight Blanchin' - Only this version, though. The soundtrack version doesn't have Kevin Michael Richardson on it, and I consider that a personal sin. Plus I just like how this one was put together.

Kesha - Die Young - This Kesha song's so far down because I actually forgot it early on. Felt terrible when I eventually remembered it, but I slapped it on the playlist and that was that~! Honestly I think one might be one of Bill's favorites. How ironic.

Yoshida Nightcore - Nightcore - I'm Blue x I'm Good - This mashup just rules, I don't even care. Maybe I have extremely bad taste in music, but I feel like people who hate the newer song just hate fun.

David Guetta, Bebe Rexha - I'm Good (Blue) (Nightcore) - Once again, I feel like people just hate fun. Anyway, Bill's bumping this so loudly that they hear it up in Washington. It's true, I heard it.

Eiffel 65 - Blue (Da Ba Dee) - And finally, I add the original song. Which I also love to pieces, I always have. Maybe Bill dedicates it to Kryptos or something.

Bill Nye: The Science Guy (Intro) and Bill Nye The Science Guy Theme Song But I'm Screaming The Lyrics - SERIOUS loud warning for that second one, but I just think I'm hilarious. Also I got the idea from the poll about Bill Nye earlier.

NOMA - Brain Power - Don't have much to this one, just the vibes.

Bring Me The Horizon - Kool-Aid - Doll suggested this one, and they were right. It bangs hard.

The Living Tombstone - My Ordinary Life - And we're back to the super obvious picks, specifically the one I completely forgot about until earlier. Anyway, yes.

Teenagers - My Chemical Romance - I added it back on. Who are you to judge me? The Bill police? Get outta here. Anyway, yeah, this has big Bill vibes to me.

PaRappa the Rapper - Car Rap - BAD Instrumental - This one just gives me anxiety because it reminds me of how bad I was at that game. I feel like Bill would find it amusing.

Oh, look at that, I'm at the bottom of the playlist. At least for now, I'll probably end up adding more songs to it at some point. If I add enough, I'll reblog this with a Part 3.

Anyway, if you read all of this, you're a saint because I spent several hours putting it together. Hope you like my stupid as fuck Bill playlist, even if most of the back half of songs were just added because 'I feel like he'd like them for parties' without much of a deeper meaning to them.

Hayley's Completely Self-Indulgent and Borderline Ridiculous Bill Cipher Playlist (Part 1)

Just gonna go for it and make a masterpost of all the songs (video links included) I've got on my Bill playlist so far.

'So far' being the key words; I've added over a hundred songs at this point and will probably add more in time. Whether it's songs I think Bill would like, songs that just remind me of Bill, the most obnoxious songs to hear on a party playlist, songs connected to the side of himself he tries to bury in lies, or songs that I'll admit are a bit of a stretch but they still remind me of Bill so I added them anyway, I've got a little bit of everything here.

I do take requests for songs to add but also don't make fun of me for some of the more obvious and basic choices because I know. I know. But also I can do whatever I want forever.

I did put some small reasons/infodumps next to each song, to explain why I picked them. Or I'll just say that it had Bill vibes to me and leave it at that.

Anyway, for anyone interested (if you actually read all my little blurbs, massive props to you), the first chunk of songs are listed below. Just a heads up, it's LONG and this is only the first part:

Mariana & The Diamonds - Oh No! - Yeah, obviously. Obviously.

Taylor Swift - Death Note ｢AMV｣ Look What You Made Me Do - I said it before, I'll say it again; Death Note AMV creators can turn water into wine and every time I watch this one, I can't stop picturing the song from the POV of a manipulative, power-hungry bastard with a God Complex. So you know, Bill. But only specifically in this context, it doesn't hit as hard without the AMV.

Fall Out Boy - Centuries - Listen to the lyrics of the chorus. That's Bill. Like...that's Bill. The rest of the song has a lot of really good Bill lyrics as well.

Scissor Sisters - I Can't Decide - Shut up. SHUT UP. I knew about the song WAY before it was ever applied to Bill. Heck, I knew about this song way before Bill even existed so SHUSH. But like, come on. Sometimes a song choice is overapplied to a character for a reason; it works.

Creature Feature - The Greatest Show Unearthed - I think my teenage self would strangle me if I didn't put at least one Creature Feature song on here. Lucky for him, I've put more than one. But the other one comes later. ...Did I add it? I should check that.

Voltaire - Land of the Dead - Speaking of teenage Hayley's tastes, time for the Voltaire songs I've definitely just added because of the 'I'm 13 and this is Deep' vibes. But also Voltaire fucks severely and every Bill playlist should have at least one of his songs on it, in my personal opinion.

Voltaire - When You're Evil - Once again, I'm 13 and this is Deep, but also tell me you can't imagine Bill singing this to himself. No, not in a sexy way in a human body who looks like Oregonian Onceler, in the edgy teenager way where you thinks you're the most evilest evil in the entire world but you're really just going through puberty and also probably transgender, but you don't know that yet.

Voltaire - Death Death (Devil, Devil, Evil, Evil, Song) - Once again, edgy teen who thinks he's the most evilest evil in the entire world (I don't think Bill is actually irredeemably, unquestionably evil, he'd just really vibe with 'Ooh I'm so evil! I'm such a bad guy!' songs).

I'm pretty sure this is the last Voltaire song for now, unless I added Brains! somewhere down the line and forgot. (Also just a mild warning but this song DOES use the f-slur, if that bugs you)

The Greatest Showman Cast - The Other Side - Sighs. Look. It's a Bill and Ford song to me. I don't even mean romantically or anything, just LISTEN to it. That's them. If there were a Gravity Falls Musical, dedicated to recreating the entire show through song and dance, the two of them meeting for the first time would have a song exactly like this. I refuse to apologize for this choice. Also a Gravity Falls musical would rule, someone should make that eventually.

Italobrothers - My Life is a Party - Just the first of my many Dragostea Din Tei choices for this playlist. I really like the original, okay? And I usually end up attached to people who try to remix it/make a new song outta it. This one has the bonus of also being a fun party song.

David Guetta, Bebe Rexha - I'm Good (Blue) - Speaking of the first choice of a song I have multiple times on this playlist in some form. I don't care what anybody says, I think this song is a lot of fun and I think Bill would have it on one of his party playlists somewhere. Probably the Nightcore version, it's a lot quicker and makes for a better fistpumping song, in my personal opinion.

Set It Off ft. William Beckett - Wolf In Sheep's Clothing - Yeah, I'm not explaining this one, you get it.

Vocaloid (made by Fukase) - ‘Cause I’m a Liar - I actually don't like this one all that much, and I can feel everyone's judgment about having a fucking Kokichi Ouma fansong on here. But the lyrics don't lie. Or...I guess they do. It's a song about being a liar, that's the joke. (Also slight content warning but the video has a lot of flashy effects, so take caution!)

Kesha - Blow - Of course we've gotta have some Kesha. There will be more. She needs no explanation.

Kesha - TiK ToK - Once again, not explaining myself. It's Kesha.

Taylor Swift -【AMV】Death Note - Blank Space - What I said about the last Death Note AMV with a Taylor Swift song. It just works so well for a manipulative guy like Bill, but only when set to Death Note specifically. Why? I have no idea, it just hits different. It's like eating crackers with cheese whiz: not a healthy or fantastic snack by any means but sometimes I just want some junk food. Except this junk food manipulates people.

Kesha - Take It Off - Once again, will not explain my Kesha choices. You understand that Bill and the Henchmaniacs would be Kesha girlies or you don't.

Neil Cicierega - It's Gonna Get Weird - Giggles. Also funny enough, I don't listen to this all that often. Dunno why.

Gravity Falls Soundtrack - Is It Bottomless - Triangulum Entagulum - I mean, yeah.

Gravity Falls Soundtrack - A Very Tricky Triangle - I mean, yeah x2. I don't care if this might be cheating, I can do what I want. But also, isn't this such a FUN instrumental? I love the music they use for him in the show SO much. It's so sinister and otherworldly. Top-notch soundtracking.

Voltaire - Brains! - Oh, hey, I did add Brains! to this. Anyway, we can tell I was a Billy and Mandy kid so I'm gonna project that onto Bill. Also I'm 90% sure this is the last Voltaire song I have on the list. For now.

Trolls 3 - Mount Rageous [Extended Edition] - This is absolutely one of my most self-indulgent picks on the list, especially because I went straight for the one that includes the Sweet Dreams part of the song (because I guess the soundtrack doesn't actually have it?)

Anyway, it's a song all about faking it to make it, sung by people who have gone on to manipulate everyone around them by using others for their own abilities. So I think I at least have SOME excuse to connect it to Bill. Maybe? Possibly? I think so. Plus it fucks and actually got me to semi-care about the Trolls films again.

Alex Hirsch - We'll Meet Again - Giggles again.

Marina and The Diamonds - Bubblegum Bitch - Insert that post about always understanding whenever someone slaps Bubblegum Bitch onto a character playlist. That character's Miss Sugar Pink Liquor Liquor Lips now. Admittedly I don't have any other real reason for it to be on here, other than its extreme levels of cunt. Maybe Bill adds it to his party mix at Pyronica's request or something. Now THERE'S a Bubblegum Bitch.

Rihanna - Disturbia - Another song that gives me Bill and Ford vibes. Pretty self-explanatory, probably. Probably?

Malia J - Smells Like Teen Spirit - I also have the original version and the Weird Al parody down further on the playlist, and I tie them all to Bill in different ways. This one's for his more ominous and sinister side, where it's like 'I'm coming and I'm not leaving :)', whereas the original touches more on the 'teen/young adult revolutionary' side of things and the Weird Al cover is just because Weird Al. Also this cover is so pretty and chilling to me.

David Guetta ft.Sia - Titanium - This one's kind of a 'I could take it or leave it on here' song, admittedly, but also it gives me pre-Second Dimension-Destruction Bill vibes, in a twisted kind of sense. Like, he feels all powerful and like nobody can stop him...as he proceeds to make the worst mistakes of his life and destroys everything he knows. Might stew on this one and potentially remove it, but it can stay for now.

Ricky Martin - Livin' La Vida Loca - I feel like this one speaks for itself. He's insane. He's cah-RAZZYYYYY. Also it's a fun party song.

Freak Kitchen - Freak of the Week - This one just fucking rules. I'll admit connecting it to Bill outside of the title is a stretch, it's more a critique on people so desperate to achieve fame and fortune that they'll go as far as putting their own lives in danger to get it, whereas Bill is more likely to put others in danger to achieve his own goals.

But also he was willing to destroy the universe with himself inside it, for the sake of the most wild party imaginable. Also, desperate to seek fame and fortune without considering the dangers necessary to get there? Could always stretch further, say it's a Bill and Ford song. Either way, I'm keeping it on the playlist.

Christina Milian - Am to Pm - I've just really liked this song since I was like, ten, and it's a fun party song. Not all of Bill's party songs have to be super annoying, sometimes they can be bops. The bops make you lower your defenses. So when he drops a What Does The Fox Say? down the line, you're completely blindsided. Yes, it will be on here.

Viva La Vida - Coldplay - A human Bill song if I ever heard one. Another fairly basic choice, but again, I don't think it's a HUGE stretch to tie it to him. Plus again, insert that Top Forty Hits quote from Dipper here. They're in the top forty for a reason, they're CATCHY.

Eurobeat Brony - Discord (Remix) - Yeah.

Alina - When You Leave [Numa Numa] [Basshunter Radio Mix] - I told you this song was going to be all over the playlist. And we still haven't gotten to the original yet. Also fun fact; there was originally another version of the song before this one, but upon a relisten I was like 'Hmm, nah, it's good but I don't know if it's got that Bill energy.' Yes, I can and do compare Dragostea Din Tei covers for my Bill Cipher playlist like I'm comparing paint swatches at Home Depot. It's that important to me.

Switchfoot - Dare You To Move - I have no excuses for putting a song from a psuedo-Christian rock band on my Bill Cipher playlist outside of the sheer nostalgia factor, and I can't even pretend it's a one-off thing because there's another one of their songs further down the list. But CONSIDER; the Axolotl singing it to him. That's all I'm going to say. I will not apologize.

BB Cooper - Blame - To me, this is one of those songs about the feelings Bill probably tries to drown in lies. I realize it's a stretch, because we know he wouldn't actually stop and self-reflect in the way that the song does.

But at the same time...I could easily see someone making an animatic set to this song with Pre-Second-Dimension-Destruction Bill at the beginning and it switches to present-day Bill for the second half. I see the vision, even if I realize Bill would try his hardest NOT to see it.

Either that or he'll interpret it as a 'You see? I'm not the villain here. My tragic past is the real reason I'm like this.' song. But you know, there's always that thin thread that's tied to his past, before everything unfolded as it did. Where at some point, he really and truly wasn't to blame. Alas.

They Might Be Giants - Particle Man - Heehee hoohoo triangle man.

Tom Cardy (ft. Montaigne) - Red Flags UNO REVERSE - I added these two in reverse order, oops. Oh, well. I feel like it adds to the chaos.

Tom Cardy (ft. Montaigne) - Red Flags - Of course. Sidenote but this song is physically impossible to sing out loud in public unless you want some WEIRD looks from people.

Hudson Mohawke - Cbat - Tell me he wouldn't love this garbage.

Circus Music - Just circus music. Because he's a massive clown.

Earth Wind & Fire - Boogie Wonderland - Just a fun song, especially for parties.

Nicki Minaj - Super Bass - It feels so wrong to think of a party mix without it, and I feel like Bill would agree.

Toby Fox - Your Best Friend and Toby Fox - Your Best Nightmare - These two are tied together in that order, for pretty obvious reasons.

Simple Plan - I'm Just A Kid - I bounced back and forth with myself before eventually taking Teenagers by MCR off the playlist. I'm not doing that with this song. It just...it feels Bill, you know?

Maybe specifically my version of him, but also can't you imagine your own version of him blasting this at the age of like, fourteen? Am I wrong? I don't feel like I'm wrong. Also I might add Teenagers back onto the list, he needs more of those angsty teen songs.

Darude - Sandstorm - It's a meme, it's funny, it'd be a blast at parties.

Flo Rida ft. Kesha - I wouldn't count this as a Kesha song but also I could easily see them bumping it in the Fearamid.

Sia - Chandelier and Toad - Chandelier - Once again, a two-for-one special. I feel like Bill would enjoy both for various reasons. He can interpret it as just another party song, while ignoring the obvious darker implications behind the song of masking your true pain and emotions through a wild and reckless lifestyle. He'd probably love to get as literal as possible with it and try swinging from a chandelier. The Toad once is ear-splitting annoying. I think they fit

Florence and the Machine - Cosmic Love - This one is just for Mina. That's the only reason it's here.

Weird Al - Polka Face - Funny Weird Al song.

Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby - Drake suggested this one and it was right. I laughed and added it, then proceeded to get jumpscared by it when I shuffled the playlist this morning. So that was funny. Go, white boy, go.

Tim Rothrock & Jim Wise - Goofy Goober Rock - More Drake suggestions (this and the other Spongebob songs, along with a few others down the line), and this makes me smile extra hard because I've been in such a Spongebob mood lately :)

Spongebob - Jelly Fish Jam (4 Hour Edition) - Yes, the 4-hour edition specifically. If you're not jamming as much as the jellyfish did in the episode, you're doing something wrong.

Spongebob - Sweet Victory - Of course. Gotta honor the classics.

Weird Al - NOW That's What I Call Polka! - Another one of my personal favorite Weird Al polka mashups.

LMFAO - Party Rock Anthem - Would Bill be Team Party Rockers or Team Party Rock Is?

Cutting it off here because this playlist has over a hundred songs so far and I'm only at...57. How fun for me personally to stop there for the first part. Anyway, expect the next part in a bit.

#Reblogs Self #Bill Playlist #Long Post #God what a goofy list #I still stand by it #I did remove some songs that I felt like I couldn't even explain away with 'they're just fun party songs'#But I like this list so far

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bratkook · 4 years ago

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eleven months. (m) myg. two.

masterlist.

pairing: min yoongi x reader genre: fluff, slow burn!!!, eventual smut, warnings: brief non-descriptive mention of death, otherwise none word count: 7k author’s note: here’s some more backstory on both of them as well as more interaction beyond yoongi hunting down an album by the cure lmao. like i said before, i’m really soft for yoongi in this story so lmk what you think! (also..because i hate myself and love piling up wips, theres mention of oc having a previous love interest that’s actually part of another story that takes place in this universe that’s a prequel soooo...coming soon lol) taglist (open): @min-yus summary: it’s been years of yoongi living his routine life, accustomed to his pace of living, going with the flow and simply existing. until you come along. yoongi absolutely can not see the logic in the way you live, but he weirdly craves it. craves the feeling of not being afraid of not knowing what’s coming, being able to just let the cards fall wherever they land. and maybe you can help with that.

In the next coming weeks it becomes obvious that Yoongi is in fact a regular. His routine visits allow you to remember the usual days and times he’d pop in, so you knew if you’d be working on his chosen days.

Somewhere in between his casual drop ins, the two of you had formed somewhat of a friendship— or the beginning stages of one at least. Yoongi liked your sense of humor, how open and friendly you were to anyone you encountered, always having something to say about anything. Conversation came easy to you, never running out of stories. It left Yoongi thinking you’ve definitely lived about ten lifetimes compared to him.

In turn, you liked how he let you steer the conversation any way you chose. Most people would probably watch on in horror at the way you’d go from talking about a specific song or band, and then switching to a story about how you chased a pickpocketer during your travels before moving on to talking about your roommate’s cat. None of it gave him whiplash though, seamlessly flowing into the next topic with a grin on his face, never feeling like he had to think too hard to keep it going. It worked best this way. Yoongi was observant by nature, a great listener above it all, so if you were the one doing most of the talking it was fine by him.

Everyone at Rkive360 had taken notice that Yoongi’s usual five minute visits had turned into ten, and then twenty, until it became very clear he was lingering inside the store. No one told him anything, besides the fact that he was bestfriends with the owner and had immunity, all of you were fond of him. Taehyung enjoyed the sly remarks Yoongi would make, Sana just enjoyed ogling at him, Namjoon would never mind seeing him, and you would take any chance you could to attempt to wow him with your small knowledge of music.

It was a nice distraction whenever he stopped by, always heading straight to the back where the vinyl was kept. Sometimes he had a specific album in mind, other times he was simply browsing, but he only ever bought one at a time. It was routine, maybe even a weird ritual of sorts if he really thought about it.

On the days you knew he’d be coming you would spend a little extra time in the beginning of your shift picking out a few records to suggest to him if he didn’t have one in mind. Because of this, he had stopped his usual path to the bins and now came directly to you, the first stray off his usual routine.

Today you’re standing behind the counter, ringing up a customer when he walks in, a smile on your face as you chat away. He patiently waits at the far corner, leaning back against it as his eyes roamed the interior of the store, taking note of the way Sana and Taehyung were trying and failing to build a giant display. It looks like a mess of parts, scattered around with no instruction manual in sight— definitely Taehyung’s idea to toss it judging by Sana’s look of frustration.

He tears his gaze away from them beginning to argue when he hears you wish the customer a good day as they leave, pushing away from the counter and shuffling your way with a grin on his face. You smile back at the way his doughy cheeks push out, high points of them reflecting the light from above.

“Any shirt facts of the day?”

That had also become another common occurrence. Whenever you decided to wear a band shirt, he somehow always had random facts about whoever it was. It didn’t matter if it was some obscure french band or a 90’s rapper, Yoongi knew something about everyone, like some walking encyclopedia of musical artists. So when you take a step away and spread your arms out, he sees your shirt of choice today is The Doors, and he scoffs. Too easy.

“The Doors were the first band to ever advertise a new album on a billboard.” He nods his head slowly, almost as if he’s telling you yes I know, amazing right?

A hum leaves your lips at his fun fact, slightly impressed by it. “Interesting. Like always, I did not know that.” You peek under the counter top at the selection of records you kept stowed away for him, safe from any undeserving customers. “Now, do you want to see my daily, hand picked selection just for you.”

This was his new favorite pastime, getting to see the random albums you’d group together for him, wanting to know what you thought was worthy for him to listen to. When he nods, rubbing his hands together in excitement, you haul up the stack and carefully spread them out across the top.

The genre of the day was R&B, he can tell that much as he sorts through the albums. You’re familiar with the way he clumps together certain records, marking them down as albums he already owns, until he gets to an orange colored cover. The words The Internet fill the top right corner along with Ego Death on the bottom left. This he had never heard before. He picks it up and flips it over, scanning the song names with interest.

His eyes raise up to yours with curiosity, the same sharp gaze that somehow still makes you nervous holds the obvious question being passed between you with no need for words: are they any good? And the way you nod your head immediately convinces him enough. “Alright, I’ll give them a shot.”

A small sense of pride fills your chest, a tiny victory whenever he decides to pick something from your stack, trusting whatever music knowledge you had somehow convinced him you have. “I promise you’ll love them.”

When you hand him his change and the brown paper bag, you immediately check the time and clock out, dipping back under the counter and grabbing your bag from its hidden spot.

“Are you off?” Yoongi finds himself asking, no longer used to leaving immediately after he purchased something. The usual fifteen minute conversation you two had was missing today, and he’s not too sure how he feels about that.

“Yes I am, you were my last customer. The store will now be run by those two heathens. Here’s to hoping they don’t bite each others heads off while they finish building whatever the fuck that is.” Taehyung is now standing up, lazily holding up a part of the display as Sana tries to screw something together, angrily giving Taehyung commands but he only mimics her with a ridiculous face. And when she socks his thigh, her fist aiming a little too close to home, you let out a laugh.

Yoongi highly doubts that’s going to be possible, Namjoon would probably have to be the one left to finish building the display while also putting them on opposite sides of the store whenever he came in for the day. It was truly a shock that they had gone this long working together without an actual fist fight breaking out. If it came down to it, Yoongi had his money on Sana being able to whoop Tae’s ass.

“Do you know any good take out spots nearby? I’m starving and I’m still new to the area so I’ll take any recommendations.” Your voice snaps him back, his eyes looking at you briefly as the question registers within him.

“Oh, yeah. There’s a place not too far from here that has pretty good jajangmyeon.”

“Hell yeah.” Your hands pat your belly softly, coming up to readjust your bag as you walk around the counter and head for the door, shouting out a goodbye to Taehyung and Sana as you leave the store. When you exit the shop, your hand holding the door open behind you, you glance back inside in confusion when you spot Yoongi still standing by the counter with wide eyes. “Well, aren’t you coming?”

Truth be told, he had been wanting to talk to you outside of work for a while but he was scared to ask, not wanting to make you feel obligated to say yes just because he was a regular at your place of employment. Something about you seemed familiar to him, and to be quite honest he just craved social intimacy. His job consumed him and coming into this record shop was the small escape he needed, you being there was just a newly added plus.

You’re on the same page he is, wanting to hang out with him just as much as he had, something about the way he seemed like a half open book interested you. Throughout all of your adventures you had forced yourself to come out of your shell, no longer afraid or bashful when it came to initiating friendships. If you wanted to get to know someone better, then you’d bite first. And you definitely wanted to get to know Yoongi better.

It takes him a moment to react, his gaze switching from you to look back over at your coworkers, seeing Sana sending you a curious glance. Yoongi was about to attempt to muster up the courage to ask you to hang out and you beat him to the punch, but after a second he grins at you with a nod. Of course he was coming.

The weather in Seoul is forgiving today, the usual cold of autumn being prevalent in the air without the need to bundle up, the slight wind not stinging your skin as it blows around you. This was probably your favorite season, comfortable enough for you to do whatever you want without feeling restricted by heavy layers or sticky from the heat.

A soft smile is on your lips, hands shoved into the pockets of your baggy cardigan, and a small pep in your step as your eyes take in the world around you. That feeling you get when you visit a new town on vacation, how you’re just passing through for a brief moment in a place so many call home, it makes you realize how small you actually are.

It’s a feeling you always longed for, to experience a new place and make it home, it's the main reason you always bounced around so much. Staring at all the shops around you, taking in all the people just going about their daily life, you’re content with your new choice of scenery.

Too lost in your own head as you take in the shops and people around you, you snap out of it when Yoongi reaches out and clasps a hand on your shoulder, steering you to turn right when you keep walking straight. “Get your head out of the clouds.”

He hears the snort you let out, allowing him to guide you the correct way. Slowly trailing away from the main road, the amount of people lessens, only a handful of stores line up around the alley you had turned into. When you spare a glance at Yoongi you can see the excitement on his face, speeding up his pace until he’s standing in front of the restaurant. It’s a small hole in the wall shop that didn’t even look like it served food from the outside, all black exterior with a red sign hung up on top showcasing their name, Ipum.

It’s charming, and the way Yoongi spreads his arm out puts a similar smile on your face. Only then does he pull open the door, allowing you to step in first before he follows.

Once Yoongi steps inside he’s immediately greeted by the workers calling out his name in glee, bowing in response with a bashful smile as he approaches the small counter set up for take out orders, not needing to read the menu. You don’t realize he’s waiting for you as you take in the interior of the restaurant, the red dining tables surprisingly packed despite their lack of advertising outside. This place really must be as good as Yoongi promised.

“Anything specific you want?” he asks, finger pointing to the small menu in his hand in case you needed it. When you shake your head, letting him know he can order anything he wants, he does exactly that, placing two orders of jajangmyeon, along with fried dumplings and sweet and sour pork to complete it. It was his go to choices whenever he came, so he hopes you’ll enjoy it as much as he does.

As you step to the side, backs pressed against the wall closest to the counter in order to keep the space open for the workers and patrons to walk comfortably in the small shop, you turn your head to glance at Yoongi again. “You come here often?”

The way the workers had spoken to him had made that glaringly obvious, but you wanted to hear it from him, wanted to know if he came here for comfort food or some other weird tradition like his ‘one-vinyl-a-day’ way of life.

It was sort of a habit he had fallen into years ago. Having grown up in this city his whole life, he had stumbled upon this place his last year of high school. It had become a staple soon after, a place he would come to directly after classes were done to come stuff his face before heading home. Then it became a place his girlfriend and him frequented when the apartment they moved into turned out to be a mere block away.

In a way, the owners of this shop had become like a second family. The amount of times they’ve seen Yoongi at his best and worst throughout the years, never once throwing judgment his way even if he came in beyond plastered back in the years he used to drink, never turning him away even if he cried into his noodles.

He decides that’s a little too much to unpack right now, so he just nods in confirmation. “Yeah, I’ve been coming here for years. One taste of their noodles and you’ll be hooked too, trust me.”

Oh you trusted him, the amount of plates you’ve seen so far just made your mouth water once they passed by you and the smell of the food reached your nose. “We should’ve just sat down, I’m not gonna be able to wait until I get home to eat this.”

As you say this one of the workers approaches you two with a tied up plastic bag in his hand, the inside stuffed with takeout boxes and utensils for you to take. Yoongi grasps the bag with a smile and thanks him as he walks away. “Don’t worry, I live like a block away.”

He realizes how his words could be taken immediately, how he had assumed you two would innocently go back to his place to share a meal. You had invited him to eat but the location of where you would be doing so had not been discussed and the last thing he wanted was to come across as a sleaze.

His mouth was ready to back track completely, until he sees the way you dramatically place your hand over your chest, and he knows it's too late, “Oh damn, your place? Saucy, but I’m starving so I’ll do almost anything.”

You can see the way he relaxes when he notices you aren’t being serious, taking his words lightly the way he intended them. His eyes roll behind his lids, a lazy smile gracing his lips as he shoves your shoulder lightly to get you to start walking.

“Is jajangmyeon all it takes?”

“Slow your roll, good jajangmyeon is all it takes. I’ve yet to have a taste.”

Yoongi smiles at your words, taking the lead when you step out of the shop and turn back down towards the main street. His apartment was on the next block over, a short walk that you didn’t mind, especially since he took it upon himself to point at random stores you passed to let you know the best places to get what.

He has a lot of love for this city, the memories it possesses spread out through his entire childhood and early adult years, lingering in each crack on the sidewalk. He often sits and wonders how different his life would be if his parents had decided to move to Busan instead of Seoul, or stayed in Daegu altogether. The thought of the timeline of his life being altered so drastically to the point of possibly not being able to be living this moment sends his mind into a flurry, so he's grateful you’ve reached his front door now as his mind settles.

“Oh my god who’s this?” You coo as you step into his apartment, crouching down towards the white stone floors to pet the fluffy gray cat that greeted you, enjoying the way it purred and rubbed against your knee.

“That's Yuri, the queen of the house.” He steps away from you, setting the plastic bag on top of the kitchen counter a few feet away, his hands pulling out the containers and setting them down. “Don’t give her too much attention or she’ll never let you leave.”

Yuri glances up at you, her bright green eyes peering up innocently at Yoongi’s words, almost as if she was pleading for you to keep petting her. It doesn’t take much convincing for you to scoop your hands under her and press her against your chest as you stand up, your fingers gently scratching the top of her head. Yoongi lets out a sigh when he sees his cat has succeeded in wrapping you around her finger.

“Sorry, she’s too cute to not cuddle with.”

She nuzzles into your chest, purring in appreciation when your fingers trail down onto her spine. Yoongi watches you as he pops open the lid of the container that holds the noodles. Yuri is his baby, yet every time a new person comes into his place she acts like he doesn’t exist— well not until he pops open the container holding the sweet and sour pork. That's when her head pops up, her green eyes sharpening when she spots the food, and Yoongi glares back at the fluffy traitor.

When Yuri's fluffy body shakes slightly as you laugh Yoongi glances back at you, breaking up the staring contest he had going with his cat. “She’s gonna betray your love right now for some pork.”

You don’t doubt him, not with the way her paws start to push at your arms, attempting to stand up in your embrace until she’s hopping off from your arms and slowly walking towards Yoongi. She’s absolutely shameless as she rubs her body against his legs, and Yoongi can only look down at her before staring back up at you, gesturing out with his hands. “You see?”

The act of betrayal doesn’t sting, not when she’s as cute as she is. Instead you just chuckle, walking towards the stools Yoongi has by the oversized kitchen island, a breakfast bar set up at the end, the food spread out on top of it. He ignores Yuri for the time being, pulling out the stool beside yours and sliding into it. The both of you pull your chopsticks apart and get to eating instantly, swirling the noodles until they’re evenly coated in the sauce.

You try to ignore the way Yoongi blatantly stares at you as you bring up the first clump of noodles, waiting to see what your initial reaction would be to the food he held so near and dear to his heart. Yoongi knows this could go south so quickly, there is nothing worse than trying something new when you’re starving and having it absolutely suck. Sensing his nerves, you slurp the noodles up, and when the salty taste hits your tongue you hum, chewing them thoughtfully to make a show for Yoongi.

“Verdict?”

He waits patiently for you to swallow, sharp eyes analyzing your expression, seeing you lick your lips and grin at him. “You weren’t lying, definitely some of the best jajangmyeon I’ve had.”

In pure dramatics, he practically sags in his seat and raises a fist into the air in success, being able to properly enjoy his food now that he knew you approved of it. The two of you begin to eat in relative silence, the sound of munching and slurping filling up his kitchen space.

As the minutes go by, the back and forth of your chopsticks plucking out a dumpling after he did, lands with you snatching the last one. An evil cackle leaving you as you pop it into your mouth and grin at him, cheeks puffed out slightly and he can’t find it in himself to be irked at you snatching the last dumpling when you looked like that.

The compromise of that is you leaving the remaining pieces of pork for him to enjoy, and when Yuri gracefully hops onto the counter you see why he had suggested that. He grasps a tiny piece of pork on his chopsticks and feeds her like a parent would a toddler, airplane noise and all until Yuri opens wide and gently clamps down on the meat.

“She’s spoiled because of you.”

He merely shrugs, a giant smile spreading across his face as he watches her with adoration as she chews the food. “I refuse to confirm or deny that.”

As you finish up the last of your food you just watch on as Yoongi alternates between feeding himself and Yuri until no more pork remains. Seeing the soft way he acts with his cat just warms you up, Yoongi had always seemed like a blunt person from the times you’ve seen him at the store, his sense of humor is one that could easily be taken as harsh or cold if you didn’t match it, but you’d never expect to see him this way. The tops of his cheeks push out as he smiles at his cat, cupping her face between his hands and rocking it back and forth before planting a kiss on her forehead.

She seems to understand that that's her cue to hop off the counter, knowing that snack time is now over as Yoongi starts to clean up the empty containers. When you reach to clean your own mess up he’s quick to slap your hands away, smirking when you retract them with a small wince, your fingers rubbing the back of your palm that he had swatted with a pair of chopsticks.

“Shoo.” He waves his arm in the direction of his couch, not giving you another glance and missing the way you pout at how he had dismissed you like he would his cat.

With a huff you turn on your heel, properly taking in his living room. From the small tidbits of half truthful information that Taehyung had provided you with, you knew Yoongi was somebody in the music industry. You had always assumed that when people said that it meant struggling soundcloud rapper or something of the sort, but from the look of his apartment alone it was very evident that Yoongi was not a struggling soundcloud rapper.

The wall of his living room was lined with floor to ceiling windows, letting you catch a glimpse of the cityscape down below, the darkening horizon and slowly flickering street lights blending together. A dark grey couch was on the wall adjacent to that, directly facing the entertainment center he had set up, complete with a massive mounted television and soundbar, a collection of DVDs organized in the storage unit below it.

You walk closer to it, catching sight of the picture frames he had displayed along the top of it. They were all simple black frames, all differing in size, all of them having photos of Yoongi and his friends on them. The one in particular that had you smiling was a photo booth picture with Yoongi and Namjoon, they were accompanied by three other people, a boy with slightly red tinged hair and a bright smile, another boy with dark brown hair and a slight pout on his face from Namjoon squishing his cheeks, and a girl with light brown hair smiling widely as Yoongi gave her bunny ears.

Namjoon was a very smiley person, never needing a reason to be, but seeing Yoongi sporting a massive gummy smile had you realizing how nicely a smile suited him. It was clear that he held this group of people near to his heart considering they all occupied the remaining photos as well.

A couple of steps right beside that was where he had his prized possession, his record player that he had fully customized to get him the desired sound he was looking for. It was a sleek black, accents of silver shining off of it, resting pretty on a dark stained wooden stand. A few of his records were stored beneath it, but what really caught your eye was the eight by eight makeshift gallery wall that showcased his current favorite LP’s, each individually shelved to show the album art in all its glory.

“Should I give this a listen with you here?”

His question has you turning your head towards him, cutting your admiration of the album covers short. He stood a few feet away, his hands holding up the orange cover of the album he had bought today with your suggestion, and a small sense of nerves bubbles up in your stomach for some reason. You had always suggested music, confident in your choices when you were in the safety of the record store, but having to witness his first impression made you a little uneasy. What if he hated the band entirely, or worse, what if he pretended he didn’t hate them just to soothe your ego.

Is this what he felt like watching you take your first bite of food earlier?

“Sure,” you choke out, taking a giant step back from his record player, hearing him chuckle at your odd behavior.

As he lifts the cover up and slides the giant record out of its sleeve you decide to go sit on the couch, sinking into the plush material and welcoming Yuri into your lap when she jumps on as well.

With a few clicks, the low whirring is heard of the turntable beginning to spin. And when he eases the needle onto the record a small crackle sounds before Get Away starts to play. He fiddles with the volume slightly until satisfied, only then does he turn back around and join you on the couch.

His face is settled in thought, bobbing his head gently to the beat as he rests back against the couch, sinking into it with a groan until he’s fully comfortable, legs spread out with one arm resting casually on his lap and the other on the arm rest, fingers tapping along.

You watch on in silence, your fingers raking through Yuri’s fur until her purring calms your nerves and you’re sagging back. Before you know it your eyes shut as you listen along to the music, your belly is full and your limbs are sore from the unpacking and rearranging that had to be done at work so being able to sit here and shut your brain off while mellow music filled the room was what you needed.

Before long the A side is finished playing, Yoongi having to get up to flip it over until the B side plays all the way through, the ending voicemail of Palace/Curse playing until it fizzles out entirely, the room falling into silence once more.

Yuri had gotten comfortable herself, sprawled out across your lap with her head by your hip, but when Yoongi gets up with a stretch her head pops up, eyes narrowing at her owner until she senses no threat and lays back down.

“Verdict?” You repeat his earlier question, seeing him hunched over with his elbows resting on his knees, his lips pursed in thought.

“Honest opinion?”

“Brutally honest.”

He hums with a sly grin as he turns his head to face you. “They’re good. Kinda makes me feel nostalgic too for some reason. But as a whole, it's great music that calms you down.”

With the way you’re laying practically boneless on his couch you can attest to that, they were definitely a band you listened to to unwind. He catches the wide smile spreading across your face as he stands back up to properly store the record, your smile only getting bigger when you see him replace one of the displayed albums on the wall with the new one.

“It's going on the wall of favorites,” he announces, sliding the previous record back into the storage underneath.

“I’m honored.”

He steps back from the wall with his hands on his hips, admiring how the orange of the album pops out against the others. Yoongi very rarely switched these albums out, but he had a feeling this wall would eventually become full of the random albums you’d recommend to him.

“Quick question,” he starts as he turns back to face you, taking in the sight of you and his cat cuddling together. “It’s been sitting at the back of my mind, and Taehyung has given me like three different answers.”

A small laugh leaves you as you raise your eyebrow at him in question. “Sure, what is it?”

“Where did you move from?”

You stretch your legs out in front of you, your toes just barely reaching the coffee table he has set up a bit away from the couch, Yuri mimicking your actions and stretching out as well. You were definitely gonna grow as attached to her as you were to your roommate’s cat.

“Like where was I last before this, or where am I actually from?”

He walks towards his fridge, still being able to see and hear you due to the open layout of his place. “Both I guess.” The door pops open and he reaches for a bottle of water.“You thirsty?”

“You have some wine, or some beer?”

Yoongi grunts at that, shaking his head slightly, “Sorry, I don’t drink anymore but I’ve got water and juice.”

You’re sitting up straighter now, voicing out that the water was fine. “Where I’m from is classified information, you’ll have to level up on our friendship for me to tell you that.” You accept the water he hands you, smiling at him as he sits back on the couch. He was fine with your secrecy, taking whatever you feel comfortable telling him. “But I was in Madrid before I came here.”

“Oh? Did you leave where you’re from to go live there?”

Your fingers capture Yuri’s paw, squishing her toe beans as she gently swats at your hair. “No, I was in Amsterdam before that, and Berlin before that as well to name a few. I’ve been bouncing around since I was 20, so about 6 years now.”

He has a look of interest on his face as he sips the water, leaning onto the couch sideways to face you. “Do you ever want to go back to those places?”

“Like visiting the place more than once?”

He nods, his eyes focusing on Yuri’s fluffy body, seeing her sitting back up to hop onto the ledge of the couch, rubbing her body against the back of your head before settling on the backrest of it and getting comfy.

“Hm, not sure. I can’t see myself wanting to flip back the pages of my life to reread a story I already know the outcome to.” With a sigh you shrug at him, your fingers now tracing the material of the couch. “Maybe in the future, years from now, I’ll crave a specific memory and want to go back, but it hasn’t happened yet.”

The amount of new cities and countries you’ve been lucky enough to call home for any amount of time held a special place inside of you, the memories and stories you had because of those experiences helped shape you into the person you are. Sure not all of them were movie-like experiences, some close calls happening at a few places that made you question whether you made the right choice living your life the way you did. But then you’d have moments that just felt right, and right now, sitting on this couch with Yoongi, this was one of those moments.

“So you don’t plan on staying here forever?”

“Well what do you mean by forever?”

He smiles, not thinking he would have to explain what forever meant to him. “For the rest of your life. Is there another version of forever Y/N?”

“Shut up,” you laugh. “It’s not likely, but who's to say. I never move somewhere with a time frame of how long I plan on staying.”

“How do you decide? Sorry if I’m prying but I just can’t imagine that moving somewhere new would be easy. Picturing having to leave friends behind would probably wound me.”

That was true, that was definitely the hardest part of doing this— emotionally at least. The people you met and befriended were a factor in deciding how long you’d stay somewhere. After the initial week of exploring a new place, it gets lonely. You’ve been to places where even the roommates you’d stay with weren’t friendly, and you’d have to take it a step further and search for friendships elsewhere. It was the main reason you had learned to not be timid when it came to making the first move.

“It’s kind of a gut feeling. The longest place I’ve lived in was Paris for two years.” A smile spreads across your face as you recall the two years you spent in that city, how you probably would’ve left after a few weeks if you hadn’t ran into that cute boy right before the club you were in shut down for the night. That experience alone was one of the main reasons you made it a conscious decision to not fall in love, not wanting to experience the inevitable heartbreak that came with it.

Paris was the first place you moved to, jumping head first into adventure and taking everything that came with it, including romance. Leaving friends behind had been hard, but leaving Park Jimin behind had been a different version of painful.

“Before this I was in Madrid for a month. I found myself getting comfortable too fast and when I get comfortable I get bored. When it's no longer new and exciting I don’t see the point of staying anymore.”

Yoongi absolutely can not see the logic in the way you live, the carefree aura radiating off of you, but he weirdly craves it. He craves the feeling of not being afraid of not knowing what's coming, being able to just let the cards fall wherever they land. His entire life had changed in the last few years and was now built off routine, bullet point to-do lists and deadlines he had to meet. The only adventure he experiences anymore is thanks to his friends, luring him out of his apartment to fulfil any of their spur of the moment ideas, but nothing comes close to this.

He’s not able to understand how you can be suspended in freefall for the majority of your life, and instead of panicking about your lack of parachute, you’re admiring the view.

“Do you plan on staying here forever?”

That question makes him freeze a little, he had been prying into your life no problem but now that a question was directed at him, he felt himself growing uneasy. “I guess I did.”

“Did...why past tense?”

You see the way he hesitates, his mind is already playing through all the scenarios that can come because of this but he decides to just bite the bullet. “Love makes you think of forever. I pictured forever with my fiance.”

At the mention of a fiance your mind thinks of the girl in the photos with Yoongi, the girl with the bright smile and wide eyes.

Was Yoongi a married man?

He can spot the way you process his vague information, knowing he should elaborate before you think anything else, before your eyes move to his ring finger only to find it bare. “When you’re with someone for almost 8 years its normal to think of forever you know.”

The flashes of his relationship play in his mind, meeting his fiance in his last year of high school. How they had pulled each other out of their shells, becoming rather chaotic in their adventures over the years, turning into adults and supporting each other in every aspect of life.

The memory of Yoongi proposing to her still feels fresh in his mind, taking her to Jeju island since it was a place she had always wanted to visit, not being able to due to caring for her family.

“We were actually planning our wedding, having invitations sent out with everything nearly ready but she uh–“ he stops to breathe slightly, his eyes moving to stare at the picture frames, proving your assumption of the girl being his fiance right. “She got into an accident.”

He hadn’t specified if she died or not, but that faraway look in his eyes spelled it out for you. Forever didn’t have any sympathy for his situation, but he just shrugs it off, forcing himself to not speak further on it. There was more that tied in to the tragic passing of his fiance but he felt he had overshared enough already, not wanting to make you uncomfortable by unloading this information on you. The last thing he needed was to turn this nice day into a pity party with him being the center of attention.

He’s just waiting for the routine apologetic words that would fall from your mouth—maybe you’d reach over and rub his arm like some people did, tell him how sad it was as if he didn’t already know. Some half assed attempt to make him feel better even though you were clearly blind sided by the topic.

Yoongi didn’t want that, always hating the way people would stare at him like he was some charity case. This was why he rarely chose to stray from his circle of comfort, from the people that knew the baggage that came with him and accepted him, keeping his group as tight knit as possible in order to not pick at scabbed over wounds.

When you sigh, he braces for it, mentally accepting that this might be what ends your new formed friendship before you could really creep through the cracks in the wall he built. But instead you reach forward and grasp Yuri once more, scooping her up and bringing her to your chest like a baby. “So Yuri wasn’t the only queen of the house, is that it?”

Yuri purrs in confirmation and Yoongi turns to stare at you again, blinking the wetness away from his eyes before he could even call them tears. You had a smile on your face as you stared at him, not that typical sympathetic smile people always sent his way, it was a genuine one, letting him know he was free to talk more on the subject if he needed to.

And for the first time Yoongi acknowledges that maybe he did need to. He was so used to bottling his emotions in, shutting himself off after her passing, pushing all of his friends and family away and locking himself at home as he mourned, submerging himself in his work to numb himself from feeling anything. Even now, his friends never pried, let him handle his feelings any way he wanted to. But Yoongi can’t act like his chest aches from keeping it all in, the pressure slowly releasing even with the minimal information he had given you.

“Yeah,” he sighs out in relief, reaching out to pet Yuri. “Hani was the queen before Yuri got promoted.”

As you coo at his cat he feels himself sagging back onto the couch. The small dam of emotions he had inside finally released, and before you know it he’s spilling everything out, telling you tidbit stories of him and Hani, and somehow easing you into sharing similar stories of you and Jimin.

The sun fully sets through the windows, neither of you noticing as you talk well into the night, and Yoongi found himself laughing and smiling at the mention of Hani for the first time in two years. You urge him on, watching on with interest while he talks about the day they had picked up Yuri from the shelter.

His eyes are crinkled up in that endearing way you had seen more of today than in the past weeks of knowing him, and it fills you with warmth to know he’s allowing you to know about this part of his life. It felt like sacred information, uncharted territory from the way he had hesitated in the beginning, almost like he wasn’t sure if he could trust you with the precious memories he held tightly. All he needed was a gentle nudge and a genuine smile to slowly let you flip the pages of his brain, knowing you wouldn’t judge the bleeding ink and scratched out words that came with each story.

As he stares at the way you smile at him, he comes to the realization that your sneaky ass must have already managed to slip past the cracks of the walls he built, infiltrating the tight knit circle he had for himself. He has to hold in a laugh when he recalls the way Taehyung had seriously suggested that you might be a spy sent here from another country. Maybe he was onto something, because he was refusing to accept that his willingness to overshare and stray from his norm was due to anything but your highly trained interrogation skills.

You clearly had his cat fooled as well. When Yuri leans up and nuzzles her face against yours he sighs, knowing she had claimed you as her favorite solely based on the attention you gave her. You were good. Yoongi guesses he would have to keep you around now, just for the sake of his cat, nothing more.

#yoongi fluff #yoongi smut #min yoongi #bts fluff #bts fics #btswritingcafe #btsghostie #heartsforbts #bangtaninn #btscreatorscorner #new #eleven months

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seokwoosmole · 3 years ago

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My Ranking of Songs From B.I's COSMOS

7. Buddy Buddy

Hanbin really is the king of friendzone songs isn't he😭Despite the bittersweet lyrics, this song is actually quite cute, in the way Remember Me (from Waterfall) is – the melody feels very playful but the meaning of the song is really sad and deep. The chorus is scarily catchy (in the same way Remember Me is too). While this song is my least favorite on the album, I still really enjoy it.

6. Flame

Lyrically, this song is superior – then again, what B.I song isn't? I love the video too (the choreo was executed beautifully as always) and all the references to his real life. The blurring and face covering was such a MC moment. I'm terrible at distinguishing instrumentals but whatever that buzzing-like sound was gave such flavor to the track. Tbh, it's not a song I listen to very often, but I appreciate its significance and the quality is still there, it's just not my usual vibe.

5. Alive

Again, the lyrics are amazing on this track – definitely gave me WATERFALL vibes. I loved the musicality of this song though; the chorus is so catchy and I love the instrumentals too. The rap is so good too, so pleasing to the ear – not just because it was delivered in B.I's beautiful voice but the rhythm was perfect too.

4. NERD (feat. Colde)

Soooo many things to say about this track! While there are some similarities, I think there is a pretty clear distinction musically between B.I and iKON songs. But this song felt like a good mix of both. I think many songs with the B.I touch in general radiate a sense of warmth and comfort – this one definitely does. I love how it's musically a calm and mellow song and the rap and vocals match that vibe. Also, I discovered Colde through this song! I've never heard him sing before but I love his voice! It's just so smooth but it has great texture to it and it complemented Hanbin's excellently.

3. Lover

"Fun" is such a boring word, but I can't think of a better one to describe this song. One of my favorite things about songs with B.I is his ad-libs and the way he plays with lyrical and vocal execution (i.e. iKON's Bling Bling [bling bling!], Lee Hi's No One [ttokttok nan yeogi isso], B.I's Remember Me [brrrr]). I love that "shot me down bang bang [bang bang!]". It's adorable and such a satisfying ad-lib. Honestly, his voice during this whole song is so audibly aesthetic – when he rapped, every word bled and blended into each other in such a beautiful way. Also I just love B.I love songs lyrically.

2. COSMOS

Honestly, this song made me so nervous – I mean, like prior to hearing it. illa illa is such an amazing song – musically, lyrically, and production-wise; it's one of my favorite songs in general and I truly believe it's one of the best songs of all time. So I was a bit nervous as to how B.I could step up his game for his comeback when the last one was so no pun intended iconic. But my doubts were useless! Never doubt Kim Hanbin – that's a valuable lesson I learned. I've ben tying Hanbin to sad and angsty songs so much that I forgot that he's just as capable of writing blissfully happy ones. This song really was such a good choice for the title track of this comeback. After all the angst and struggle and sad times, a lighthearted, happy, whimsical song like this is exactly what ID needed. This is one of those songs that gives you serotonin through your earbuds. I dare you to be sad after listening to this song – actually, you will be, because it's over. Like, whoever this song is written for has got to be the absolute luckiest most loved human being in the world...or shall I say cosmos. From the cheerful melody to the sweet lyrics, the whole song radiates happiness and love in the air.

1. NINETEEN

THIS. Just THIS. If COSMOS gave me happiness, NINETEEN gave me something I could relate to. THIS is my illa illa. I deeply feel for Hanbin seeing these lyrics and what meaning they hold for him, but I also empathized with a lot of them too. One of Hanbin's greatest writing talents is being able to so vividly paint a picture of a certain emotion and make you feel it, and he's done it here. He's so accurately portrayed the struggles of youth and not wanting to mature knowing that adulthood only brings more struggles. And if the lyrics and meaning behind the song weren't enough, musically it's spectacular. I love that (what I think is) electric guitar intro and the almost early 2000s punk-rock vibe to the song, the strong heavy beat, and THAT CHORUS?? AMUGEOTDO CHAEGIMJIGO SIPJI ANA!! PLEASE!! I cannot think of many songs with a hard-hitting chorus like that that make me want to scream the lyrics out and headbang this bad. This song is utter perfection and will not be getting over it for a very long time.

#cosmos #b.i #Kim hanbin #hanbin #ikon b.i #cosmos b.i #b.i cosmos #buddy buddy #flame #alive #nerd #lover #nineteen #this is extremely late but I got busy and it took forever to finish this review #but here it is #better late than never #kpop

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nonbinaryresource · 4 years ago

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hi. i wanted to ask whether or not it’s ok to take comfort in a person that has not officially come out as trans but has included many forms of gender expression in their work? i’m trans and when i listened to this artist’s work (harry styles - she & fine line) i connected with the songs immediately? i found a lot of people in the community who too connected to the songs and interpreted the lyrics as a struggle with one’s gender identity. at first i was against calling harry trans because i thought it was wrong, but then after reading master posts i discovered that he constantly portrays gender in his work (using the trans flag on his album cover; being ok with his friends referring to him with she/her, miss, ‘sue’ instead of ‘harry’, and sis; his obsession with babies and especially wanting to get pregnant; relating himself only to female artists; etc.) and now i’m really confused. it feels comforting as a fan to relate to him and i, and a lot of other fans from the community, sometimes refer to him with he/she/they instead of he/him (he never said his pronouns are he/him). is that wrong? every time my (trans) friends and i refer to him with pronouns other than he/him or tell people not to assume he’s cis as he never specified that, other (usually cis. a trans fan called me transphobic and told me to stop seeking validation from cis white men.) fans will start calling us transphobic and delusional and attacking us to the point we had anxiety attacks over it? i’m just really confused right now. i don’t want to misgender anyone but i don’t understand why relating to someone who, from their actions, could be part of the community is wrong. i’m not out to anyone irl and sometimes i wish people caught on to the little things i do and recognise that i am part of the community. i don’t understand why people keep shutting down the idea the harry could be trans when he never said he was cis and was ok being referred to as she.

he has previously said that there are no lines between what's masculine and what's feminine for him anymore. i'm sorry this is so long and thank you

(You also sent in the song lyrics - thanks for the easy reference! - but I’m clipping those for length reasons.)

Disclaimer before I dig in: I am not a Harry Styles stan, I know very little about him, most of what I am going to say specifically about him is stuff I researched about specifically to answer this ask. I want to speak mostly generally to your question.

Okay, so you posed a pretty succinct, straight forward question. “i wanted to ask whether or not it’s ok to take comfort in a person that has not officially come out as trans but has included many forms of gender expression in their work?“ However, there’s also a lot of context to this ask that makes things not so straight forward, and there are several distinct issues touched upon here I want to delve into. But it seems a good a starting place as any to start with the direct question you asked.

Yes, of course it’s okay to find your own meaning in art and role models and relate to art your way from your perspective based on your experience. In fact, that’s nearly the entire purpose of art! And it makes sense too, that we as social creatures would look up to and be inspired by celebrities, artists, mentors, role models, etc. Feeling connected to and less alone because someone in the spotlight plays with gender presentation like you might or want to makes a lot of sense!

However, we have to remember that A) sometimes art is just art, and B) someone being in the spotlight doesn’t mean we actually know or understand them or are/should act familiar with them.

As an example, a couple years back, Will Jay released a song called “Never Been in Love” that pretty much exploded with aros and aces and became a bit of an anthem for a lot of us. Many wondered if he was aspec himself and there was a lot of queries about it (and I saw quite a few blogs reminding folk that they were allowed to relate to the song even if it meant something different to Will Jay or he wasn’t actually aspec). Earlier this year, he released the song “Lies” where he admits that he was writing songs he thought people would relate to and he actually had been in love even before writing “Never Been In Love”. That should do nothing to diminish how meaningful the song was to people, though! If we related to the song, we related to the song, and if it was meaningful and made us feel seen and understood, that’s great! A lot of times, art is personal, but sometimes art is just an exploration.

This concept applies even more to people themselves. It is soooo easy to idolize and romanticize people you’ve never actually met and really only see the persona they want you to see. Yes, they share personal information with the world and they experience a general lack of privacy that makes you feel like yeah, you really know who they are. But how can you really, personally, intimately know someone without interacting with them, chatting with them, getting to know them one on one? It’s fine to have role models and feel represented by and relate to a celebrity - just do not lose sight of the fact that what you’re feeling is personal feeling on your own end. It’s not something that this celebrity has actually built with you.

To put this another way: it is fine to headcanon fictional characters, but it’s not okay to headcanon real people.

Now, what I’m building up to here is that there are a lot of assumptions I am seeing - from both sides - that we cannot truly know because all we know is what Harry [or anyone] chooses to share with us. I’d like to break this down by going through some specific points.

at first i was against calling harry trans because i thought it was wrong

Okay, there are two sides to this.

1) It is wrong to apply a gender label/descriptor to someone without their permission.

2) In a cisnormative society, “cis” is the default gender label/descriptor to apply to everyone, and that’s equally wrong, so I get why it feels like a rebellion of the system to go “well, there are Reasons they could be trans, so I’m just going to go ahead and call them trans”.

We should get away from automatically labeling everyone as “cis”. However, the way we fix this isn’t to just decide we get to apply whatever label/descriptor to someone we want.

If someone hasn’t clarified or specified their gender (and you can’t/it isn’t a good or safe idea to ask them), it’s the safest bet to go by what they seem to be majority being called or what you can find of them referring to themself as.

In some cases, when someone seems to be specifically avoiding labeling themselves or uncomfortable with labeling themselves, it may be most comfortable for you to also avoid labeling them just as much as possible.

being ok with his friends referring to him with she/her, miss, ‘sue’ instead of ‘harry’, and sis; his obsession with babies and especially wanting to get pregnant; relating himself only to female artists; etc.)

It’s worth considering - is this something for friends only? Or is it open to fans and other public sectors?

Usually if something is for friends only, it’ll be kept out of public eye, but if only friends are doing this, is this something that is only being shared with you or is it something you’re entitled to as well?

Aaaaaaaaalso, it has to be pointed out that it’s binarist and cisnormative in it’s own way to equate different names/pronouns automatically with being trans or being a specific trans identity. Wanting to get pregnant? Do you know how many cis women I’ve heard go on and on about wanting a penis so they can pee standing up (like... all of them anytime we’re outside or camping)? Plenty of cis people use pronouns you might not expect! You don’t have to be trans/nonbinary to use multiple or ‘atypical’ pronouns. Cis people are allowed to use other pronouns as well! They’re allowed to have names typically associated with other genders! Not all gender nonconforming or genderqueer people/people queering gender are trans! Not everybody exploring their gender nor gender presentation is trans!

not to assume he’s cis as he never specified that

It’s great to not assume someone is cis! But that doesn’t automatically make them trans.

i don’t want to misgender anyone but i don’t understand why relating to someone who, from their actions, could be part of the community is wrong.

Do you specifically, absolutely need to gender someone in order to relate to them?

i don’t understand why people keep shutting down the idea the harry could be trans when he never said he was cis and was ok being referred to as she.

I’ve only recently seen a tiny bit of this ‘discourse’ around on twitter, but what I see is a few issues/points:

A) It’s not up to us to claim someone as trans if they have not come out as trans. Coming out is an extremely personal choice and should be up to each individual. “Claiming” them is basically dragging them into something that very well may be not theirs. And if it is theirs, why would you want to steal that moment of getting to determine and declare that away from them?

B) We are all so done with cis, able-bodied white folk being prioritized above the rest of the queer community!!! There are actual, legitimate, out trans people that can be your trans role models and they’re being shoved to the back of the closet in favor of a privileged, white Schrödinger’s Trans. Let’s uplift our actual community instead of getting stuck on someone who may or may not be a part of community - and may not even want to be a part of it!

All that being said, I do want to say something really quickly on Harry himself because it ties back into the assumptions we’ve been talking about. Harry’s sexuality has long been a question on fans and journalists minds, and Harry has pretty consistently made it clear that he’s not really interested in labels or boxes. Harry’s gender is not something that has been asked about, talked about, or answered on much. And his comment on masculinity and femininity? Let’s remember that, like pronouns, masculinity and femininity don’t automatically or inherently relate to one specific gender or not. And, quite frankly, it is faucet of toxic masculinity and cissexism to equate a gnc man/man in a dress with being trans. Men are allowed to wear dresses and makeup and heels! Men are allowed to be soft and nurturing and to cry! Cis or trans, men are allowed to be these things, and arguing that they’re trans simply for doing or being any of these does continue to enforce dangerous and strict views of the gender binary.

Okay, it feels like I kinda put you through the wringer, so I want to go back and reiterate: it is 100% valid to relate to and feel connected to/inspired by someone on the basis of their presentation and gender exploration. It is not valid to claim ownership over their identity because of this. It is possible for two people to experience same or similar things and yet come to different conclusions about themselves!

If Harry Styles as an icon is important to you, I’m glad you can have that! But not everyone will or has to share your connection, and the only one actually qualified to speak on Harry’s gender is Harry himself. Harry could be trans, but it’s his right and his right only to claim that label. Any assuming we do is just that: an assumption. And I want you to be careful with your own feelings getting too attached to the image of Harry you’ve built up in your own head only to potentially have them shattered if Harry decides to speak on things and it turns out his feelings don’t mean what you thought.

Your identity is valid regardless of how Harry Styles feels or identifies. You feeling validated and seen and represented by Harry’s actions is valid regardless of how Harry Styles feels or identifies. It’s great to have role models and be inspired by people, but remember that at the end of the day, you need to be able to rely on yourself to keep up your ego and determine your sense of self.

~Pluto

#long post #mod pluto #identity #role models #discourse #gender #gender binary #cisnormativity #cissexism #mod tera #Anonymous

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nriacc · 3 years ago

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Do you think the lads ever found out about wheels sleeping with Harry styles and the song?

Also this might just be me but I think Alexa definitely messaged wheels after the twitter ordeal and cleared the air

Really want them to be friends

Aahhahahah soooo I have a vision in mind of most of them sitting together in Wheels flat and they find out about Harry which I probably won't write about fully but I'll do the extra scene just after this... Butttt, yesss I do think Alexa and Wheels are friends, I don’t think she'd hold anything against Alexa at all and they'd have had to got on for the years that Alex was with her anyway so I do think they are friendly! And yeahhhh Alexa would have probably messaged her after seeing the twitter stuff asking if she was okay and saying that she's there if she needs her. Alexa probably wouldn't be too surprised at hearing that Wheels has feelings for Alex (Because she'd off seen the news/magazine stuff in 2014 anyway andddd I think Alex may have mentioned when they saw each other in New York that him and Wheels were close) so yeah I think that they would definitely clear the air and that those two are friends anyway.

Righttttt, now as for everyone finding out about Harry....

*okay so picture this just after the uk arctic monkeys tour that they have just gone on. Monkeys are round at Wheels' flat and Adam and Bestie are there too. Wheels is talking about wanting to go and do something but she's unsure about it.*

Wheels: So yeah, I don't really know

Adam: Well, you know what grandma always says... You gotta swim before you drown

Wheels *Smiling at the memories of her and Adam being told that all the time when they were younger*

Bestie *gasps and jaw drops* : WHAT

Adam *confused*: What are you looking so shocked about?

Wheels *sitting beside Alex and she quietly whispers*: oh no

Alex: whats up?

Wheels *just shakes her head and listens to Bestie and Adam, praying that Bestie doesn't figure it out*

Bestie: What does your grandma say?

Adam *still confused as to why its a big deal*: That we should swim before we drown?

Bestie *looks at wheels and shouts*: OH MY FUCKING GOD

Wheels: dont

Bestie *shouting and standing up to pace around*: OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Matt: What is up with her?

Wheels *playing dumb*: don’t know

Bestie: YOU LUCKY FUCKING BITCH. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I. HATE. YOU!

Jamie: Y/N please explain why she's having a mental breakdown right now

Wheels *sheepishly*: I think she's just figured out who Mr NDA was from Jamaica.

Bestie: HOW DIDN’T I FIGURE IT OUT. I MADE YOU WATCH THE FUCKING ALBUM DOCUMENTARY WITH ME. AND HE WROTE THE ALBUM IN JAMAICA. THERES A FUCKING SECTION ABOUT YOU IN THAT DOCUMENTARY AND YOU SAID NOTHING. OH MY FUCKING GOD Y/N!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nick: can you just tell us please

Wheels *to Alex*: please remember this was two years ago

Alex: Who was it?

Wheels *shakes her head, not being able to bring herself to say it*

Bestie: YOU SAID HE REMINDED YOU OF HOME AND YOU REALLY WERE OH SO FAR FROM HOME BECAUSE YOU WERE IN FUCKING JAMAICA SHAGGING HIS BRAINS OUT

Wheels *sinking further and further into the settee*

Bestie: HE LIED IN HIS SONG ABOUT YOU THOUGH HES MET YOU MORE THAN ONCE! CONSIDERING HE HUGGED YOU ON NATIONAL TELEVISION Y/N!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wheels *fully hiding at this point* : Please stop

Bestie *to Alex*: DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN SHE TOLD US HER PRAISE KINK FORMED?!?!?!??!?!??!!!!

Alex *from context he can guess*: Jamaica?

Bestie: YES JAMAICA BECAUSE HE WAS CALLING YOU A GOOD GIRL WASNT HE Y/N!!!! HE TOLD YOU THAT YOU FELT SO GOOD!!! WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE THE LUCKIEST BITCH IN THE ACTUAL WORLD I ACTUALLY HATE YOUR FUCKING GUTS. YOU LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY TO ALEX TURNER *looks to Alex* don’t get any ideas, thats gross

Alex *mumbling*: swear you wanted a threesome at one point

Bestie *ignoring Alex's comment and looking back to Wheels*: THEN YOU FUCK AND DATE MATTY HEALY THEN YOU GO BACK BETWEEN THE TWO ALL THE TIME. WHICH IS FAIR BECAUSE THEY FUCKED WITH YOUR EMOTIONS... BUT, WHAT YOU DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO TO ME, IS TO FUCK HARRY FUCKING STYLES IN JAMAICA AND HE CALLED YOU A GOOD GIRL AND TOLD YOU THAT YOU FELT SO GOOD. AND THEN HE WROTE A SONG ABOUT YOU AND DISGUISED IT AS IF YOU WERE FROM AMERICA!! YOU DISGUSTINGLY SEXY BITCH!!!!! I LOVE YOU BUT I HATE YOU. I NEED A LIE DOWN. IM INDIRECT SEXUAL PARTNERS WITH HARRY STYLES. I NEED A REST. SEE YOU ALL IN TWO TO FIVE WORKING DAYS. OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!!

Wheels *is suffocating herself into the pillow she's hiding in*

Everyone *completely lost for words and shocked*

Matt *starts a low chuckle and doesn't stop laughing until everyone in the room but wheels is looking at him curiously*: I told you all she's the cradle snatcher of the group

Wheels *launches the pillow at him, hitting him square in the face*

#nriacc ask #nriacc extras #harry extra #I cant stop laughing

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soundsof71 · 4 years ago

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for the album thing: born in the usa :)

I could write a book about any of Bruce’s records from Born To Run to Born In The USA. I did in fact write my grad school thesis using Nebraska as the hook: ”Vehicles of Grace: Automobile Imagery and Salvation in the works of Bruce Springsteen and Flannery O’Connor” LOL which is one million percent true.

In fact, I bought Nebraska on my first day of class in grad school (a whole story by itself), and BITUSA came out as I was finishing my coursework two years later. It’s hard to overstate how hard this one hit, but my reaction was kind of complicated, so I’ll tell ya all about it.

the first song from this album I heard: “Dancing In The Dark”, which came out as a single before the album. Followed immediately by “Pink Cadillac”, its b-side. We played the SHIT out of that song in particular, far more than the A side, and were dumbfounded that it wasn’t on the album.

do I own the album?: Obvs, but there’s a story. Of course. My girlfriend and I bought it on vinyl the day it came out in June (we weren’t married yet, but we’d merged our record collections the previous year LOL), then for my birthday in August, she bought me a CD player for like $800 (they were expensive as FUCK when they first came out -- and $800 was even more of a fuckton of money back in those days, especially for a couple of grad students), with one CD, Born In The USA. That one CD was more than reason enough to spend the dough on a player.

I still have that CD, along with the ticket for show where we saw Bruce on our honeymoon in England, at St. James Park in Newcastle, in June 1985. He’d just gotten married too (the first time), which is a whole ‘nother story too. Oh, and I still have the sweatshirt from that show! I'll post a picture of all this some time.

my favorite song: Wellll....here’s where it gets kinda complicated. Bruce had a notoriously hard time picking songs for the record. He’d recorded something like 50 songs for the album, and once he cut the list to 30 or so, he kept asking people he trusted to pick THEIR favorite running order. (Dave Marsh talked about this in his book Glory Days: Bruce Springsteen in the 1980s, and I haven’t heard it much discussed since then.) It’s hard to argue with the finished results, but you know what? I kinda do, still, all these years later. LOL

My favorite song OF the album, no question, is “Shut Out The Light”. (Check my tag for this song to hear some more about it.) It was first released as the b-side to the 7 inch single of “Born In The USA” (remarkably, the third single from the record), and wouldn’t show up on CD until 1998 on the Tracks anthology. Tracks was 4 CDs in all (should probably have been 6 discs, and COULD have been 10), but I bought the whole thing for THIS.

youtube

My favorite song ON the album: “Downbound Train.”

my least favorite song: “Darlington County”.

a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: “Dancing In The Dark”. I’m not alone in this. Miami Steve famously HATED the song at first, and only came to appreciate it after years of playing it live. I still remember never more eagerly anticipating an album in my life, and never being more upset by the advance single. I was devastated.

Here’s why. Born to Run came out when I was 15. “Gotta get out while we’re young!” The romance of escape, with the last two songs, still grandly romantic, hinting at its costs.

Darkness came out when I was 17. Narrator: “They did not escape.” LOL Ghosts, bitterness, compulsion, cursed by God. His estranged wife’s eyes “filed with hate for just being born”, while “Tonight I’ll be on that hill ‘cause I can’t stop.”

The closest thing to hope: a whispered “Tonight my baby and me are gonna ride to the sea / and wash these sins from our hands.” I was a senior in high school and the dream was already dead. Awesome. LOL

The River came out when I was 20. The only hope is domesticity. Too bad that it’s suffocating and you’ll fuck it up. LOL Want to wash the sins from your hands? Sorry, the river is dry. “Is a dream a lie if it don’t come true / Or is it something worse./ that sends me down to the river?” Yikes!

The shows for this album were astounding. The album was soooo much darker than it first appeared, and the catharsis in the performance was rewarding, sure, but almost unbearable. You were left broken and crawling by the end of the night. In a good way. LOL

Nebraska came out when I was 22. Murder, mental illness, ghosts, more murder, compulsion, and as a treat, a little more murder. LOL

The one song I couldn’t stand was “Reason To Believe”, because I didn’t believe there was one, and I didn’t believe he did either. But boy did I love the album as a whole. Like I said, my grad school thesis started here, because I had too much to say about Nebraska and the sweep of Bruce’s literary roots and spiritual impulses NOT to write about it.

(Not shockingly in retrospect, and a blessing for us all that he went through with it and is still at it, but Bruce’s therapy started here too.)

So from 1975 to 1984, things got darker and darker and darker. It was beautiful. LOL And hey, this was MY LIFE we’re talking about, too! From 15 to 24, I was listening to Born To Run, Darkness, The River, and Nebraska practically on a loop, and the more hopeful stuff was becoming less and less resonant.

Sure, there was Rosalita and Thunder Road and Badlands, plenty of dancing and pumping fists, but I was dwelling in darkness, and living for it. On my best days, I was wounded, not even dead LOL but I barely listened to Born to Run by the end of this span. It was mostly Darkness and Nebraska.

I couldn’t wait to hear what was coming after the highest body count in recorded history on that album. LOL I knew it wouldn’t be acoustic again, but man, he was cutting closer and closer to the bone each time out. How much farther could he possibly go?

And it was....Dancing In The Dark? What the actual FUCK? Practically fucking disco or something? WHA....? I loved dance music, especially in the 80s, but I didn’t need it from Bruce. I had that from other people. Oh well, at least the b-side was cool, so maybe the album won’t bite. LOL BUT THEN PINK CADILLAC WASN’T ON THE ALBUM. FUCK.

The album didn't bite, of course, but it took a looooong time to get over this huge dual disappointment of a chirpy disco single by an artist I barely recognized, and whom I now felt I could no longer trust to manage his own creative mission.

My wife wrapped her head around it first (as is usually the case LOL). She dug it as the closest Bruce had yet come to putting his actual self in a song. The narrator is a writer, anyway, unlike every other song he’d ever written about jobs he never held for a single second (an observation that would form the bedrock of Springsteen on Broadway 40 years later).

Now, I totally dig it. If you’re naughty enough, I might even post my ukulele cover of Dancing In The Dark. LOL

a song I used to like, but now don’t: None. The songs I loved, which is most of ‘em honestly, I still do. Everything about this album has gotten better with time for me, and nothing about it has gotten less so.

my favorite lyric:

From “Shut Out The Light”: Oh mama mama mama come quick I've got the shakes and I'm gonna be sick Throw your arms around me in the cold dark night Hey now mama don't shut out the light

From “Downbound Train” The room was dark. Our bed was empty Then I heard that long whistle whine And I dropped to my knees, hung my head, and cried

Bruce was gonna try to give me a happier record, but I was having none of it. LOL

For the record, “Downbound Train” is my wife’s favorite track on the record by FAR, at least partly because it sounds like a band version of a song that could have followed Nebraska. I prefer Shut Out The Light because I heard the story of my own mental illness in it for the first time, but yeah, Downbound Train is amazing.

I only saw it live once at the time (in Newcastle, June 4, ‘85), but it really comes to live onstage -- true for all of Bruce of course, but this album more than any other imo.

youtube

overall rating out of 10: Then: 8. Now: 9.2. The shows were unbelievably good (we saw three shows in three different countries on that tour) and it sold a buttload, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling that after the run of Darkness - The River - Nebraska, that this was a missed opportunity at best.

Time and distance heals all LOL and I now love it. Not more than the four before it, but more than anything since. A masterpiece, by any standard.

#bruce springsteen #born in the usa #shut out the light #dancing in the dark #nebraska #ask #essay #downbound train #darkness on the edge of town #Anonymous #youtube

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hold-me-sickfics · 4 years ago

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Okay guys, as promised:

Day 1: Namjoon💜

Prompt: Namjoon’s been up since 2:00 a.m. with a stuffy nose and a pretty rough cough. His throat is killing him, and can someone please bring him the lotion tissues? His nose is bright red from how many times he’s used that old t-shirt in the floor. Thankfully, he’s been given permission to stay home and rest for the day, but that’s just impossible for him. He’s supposed to be the leader of the pack, so how can he just abandon them right before an interview? What if they need him? What if the interviewer only speaks English? What if Jungkook loses his shirt 5 minutes before they go in? What if Jimin and Taehyung accidentally reveal what the new album is called? What if… well everything happens? Or… what if… just maybe… the leader needs loved and coddled but instead he’s all alone at the house all day...

TW: Food, this fic is more snz focused than anything (Note: if anyone sees a trigger I missed, please let me know and I’ll post a warning for it too!)

—————-

“Namjoon, why are you in here? I thought I just told you to stay in bed until I got your breakfast.” Jin lightly scolded the leader. Namjoon had been up since 2:00 feeling pretty sick.

“I know but I wadted to bake sure you didn’t deed help with breakfast.” Namjoon shuffled over to the coffee maker, and poured himself a mug of it.

“Joon, down. No coffee. You’re sick, so the last thing you need is coffee making your stomach hurt.” Jin took the mug from him, and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Here, just sit down and rest okay? How about you make a quick call and see if you can get today off. I’ll make you some hot tea. We’ll see if you feel like eating once your sinuses open up a little, alright?” Jin eased Namjoon down into one of the chairs at the kitchen table.

Namjoon had to admit, he felt terrible. His nose was stopped up and running at the same time. His throat felt like it was tight and on fire. His muscles ached, and he felt cold. His skin felt so sensitive; even Jin touching him earlier had hurt. But still, having his hyung so close did help him to feel safe and cared for, so he had endured the pain.

Namjoon picked up the phone, and dialed the BigHit office number, asking to speak to his scheduler.

Jin listened closely as Namjoon struggled to talk. He grabbed a bottle of honey out of the cabinet and poured a tablespoon into the tea he was brewing on the stove. Sympathy pain took over his chest when he hear Namjoon cough to clear his throat. The cough was wet, and thick, and had nearly even made him gag.

Just then, Taehyung and Jungkook came running downstairs.

“I AM EATING THE BACON! YOU CANNOT STOP ME!” Taehyung screamed.

“I WILL JUMP ON YOU!” Jungkook swung over the railing.

Surprisingly, the maknae managed to land perfectly on Taehyung’s back, causing him to hit the floor- hard.

“Ah!” Taehyung let out a harsh cry.

“Shhhh!” Jin pressed a finger to his lips. He mouthed the words “Joon’s on the phone”

Both the younger boys apologized immediately, and then bolted to the refrigerator. Jin couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

“Yeah, I cad’t breathe well.”

Namjoon coughed again. This time wasn’t as thick, but Jin could tell there was enough snot in his throat to fill a bucket.

Hoseok came downstairs in his bathrobe, hair still dripping wet from his shower. He too, heard the last cough, and decided to inquire about the situation.

“Jin, he sounds awful.” Hoseok glanced over at the leader. He immediately noticed Namjoon’s red nose, puffy-pink eyes, and pale skin. A sheen of sweat covered his face and upper chest. His hair was half-matted to his head in sweat as well.

“He’s been like this since 2:00. He’s trying to get today off so he can stay home and rest.” Jin took the tea off the stove and poured a decent-sized amount into a small, blue mug.

“Okay, thank you.” Namjoon hit the “end call” button, and set his phone down. He rested his head in his hands.

Jin carried the mug to Namjoon and set it on the coaster. He took the chair beside Namjoon and stroked his hair softly.

“What’d they say?” Jin leaned down to try and meet Namjoon’s eyes.

“They’re letting be stay home... but you all have an interview today... I cad’t stay here and just let you guys go alone.”

Though it hurt to have someone touch his skin, he leaned in closer to Jin, trying to take in some of his strength.

“Joonie, you have to stay home today. You look like you feel awful, and I know you do. You’ve been up since 2:00 this morning, and I know you’re exhausted. We’ll be back by dinner, okay?” Jin carded his fingers through the younger’s sweaty blonde hair.

Namjoon was about to protest when his chest broke into hacking, heaving coughs. His ribs hurt from coughing so much and his throat felt like it had been run up and down a cheese grater. Tears came to his eyes as he finished his coughing fit.

“Take it easy Joon-bug. Sip on this for me. It’s got honey in it. It’ll help ease the pain a little. And hopefully it’ll open you up too.” Jin lifted the mug to Namjoon’s hands and helped him lift it to his lips. Jin couldn’t help it, he had a soft spot for all the members, but it was really bad when Namjoon didn’t feel well. It seemed that Namjoon was all he could think about on those occasions. Perhaps since they were paired together so often in games and such. They’d just gotten really close as oldest and leader of the group.

Namjoon gratefully accepted the beverage, and sipped it down. He was visibly relieved by the warmth and smoothness of the liquid. It nearly made him forget that he had to let the group be on their own today.

Aaaaaand that’s when he remembered.

“Jin, what if they don’t have a transblator? Or like, what if Judkook can’t find his shirt again? Or what if...” Jin cut Namjoon’s worries off short.

“I’ll take care of it okay? You just rest today. And if I come home and find you doing anything but resting, I won’t be very happy.” Jin gave him a gentle look, telling the leader that he was just doing what was best for Namjoon’s health.

Namjoon wanted to debate, but he just couldn’t. He wasn’t feeling strong enough. He nodded, and they went through the rest of breakfast pretty smoothly.

An hour passed, and Namjoon was currently being tucked in by Jin.

“Okay, I put a bottle of water on your table. There are two extra blankets in that chair over there. I have cough drops over here beside the water, but if you end up needing more, they’re in the top shelf of the bathroom cabinet. I know you didn’t want to take medicine, but I left it here anyways. Send me your temperature every hour, unless you fall asleep. If you fall asleep, then take it ten minutes after you wake up. We’ll be back by 4:30 p.m. If you need me, call me. I’ll have my phone on while we’re there except when we’re shooting. Other than that, I’ll most likely pick up on the first ring. Oh and-“

“Jin?” Namjoon interrupted him.

“Yeah?” Jin realized he might have been rambling.

“Thanks.”

Jin smiled. “No problem. Just rest okay? No doing stupid things. Don’t try and do housework, don’t work on songs, don’t make calls unless absolutely necessary... or well you know, unless they’re to me.” Jin’s eyes softened. “Feel better Joon-bug.”

Namjoon nodded, and rested his head on the pillow as Jin closed the door.

He heard the other boys close the front door, and suddenly, he was alone in the house.

He felt lonely almost instantly. Turning on the tv was supposed to help, but it didn’t. After one episode of “Housewives of America,” he turned it off and tried to sleep.

He woke up slowly, and turned to face his alarm clock.

“Please be 4:30, please be 4:30...”

The clock read 10:48 a.m. They’d been gone for 46 minutes. Namjoon whined loudly to himself.

He tried to go back to sleep, but it was no use. His nose kept running and his throat hurt badly. He finally just decided to get up and get something to eat.

That task proved to be harder than he originally thought it would be. The moment his feet hit the floor, chills ran cold up and down his spine.

“Aish,” he wrapped his shaking arms around his body. Luckily, he remembered Jin’s statement about the extra blankets, and he was able to turn one of them into a nice cape for him to wear around the house. With that, he trudged to the kitchen and opened the pantry door.

“I deed food.” He sniffled as he eyed the contents of the small room.

Namjoon finally decided on a pack of blueberry muffins, and...

He glanced back at the coffee machine, recalling Jin’s strict warning about the coffee being bad for his stomach. But... Jin wasn’t here soooo....

Namjoon did a sneaky little dance of shuffling over to the machine with a mischievous smirk on his face. When he got there, he took the filter out and there was a small post-it note inside.

“Morning Joonie. I hope you’re feeling some better by the time you read this. I figured you’d come for coffee after I left, so I took all the coffee with me. There’s some tea in the refrigerator that you can warm up for your throat. Remember to rest up, and I’ll see you when we get back.

Ps. If I get home and find out you bought coffee and had it delivered, I will remove our address from every coffee shop record between now and last October. Remember to send your temperature every hour. *hugs*

-Jin”

As much as Namjoon knew that Jin was doing this in his best interest, he really wanted that coffee.

Within the next thirty minutes, he was on the couch with a coffee in hand (thankfully, they delivered). He sipped the beverage happily and took a few nibbles of the muffins he’d gotten from the pantry earlier.

The hot coffee felt great on his throat, and actually helped the muffins to go down easier.

When he’d eaten enough, he checked his phone just to see if he’d gotten any new notifications.

And that’s what he’d forgotten.

11:06 Jin: “how’s that temp bud?”

Okay now he was in trouble. Jin wanted his temperature, but if he gave it to him, his mouth would be wayyy hotter than normal because of the coffee... Then, he had an idea.

11:09 Namjoon: “I’m 99.3. I don’t feel like I’ve got a fever so I think it’s just a little cold.”

Thankfully, he’d remembered that you could take your temperature under your arms too. He meant to wait and see what Jin would say back to him, but he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, and decided to take a shower.

Fifteen minutes later, he came out of the shower feeling a lot better. Jin had texted back saying “good, make sure to stay hydrated and rest.”

He smiled at how caring his hyung was, and then turned his phone down. He thought it was best to go ahead and take a nap while he could still breathe. Maybe his symptoms would even be gone by the time he woke up!

Well, as hopeful as he’d been, he was wrong.

Namjoon woke up at 12:45, with his throat hurting more than ever. His nose was so stuffed, he had to breathe through his mouth, which felt like glass scraping his throat brutally.

On top of that, he had started feeling bitterly cold. A couple minutes passed and he took his temperature.

“101.4” Could be worse but could be better. The only problem was, Namjoon had a tendency to get really emotional when he had a fever higher than 100. This was no exception.

Namjoon’s eyes flooded with tears. He wanted the other members here... he wanted Jin here. But they couldn’t be... they had to work. He desperately wanted them home, but he knew they’d have to finish before they could come back. So, he decided to text them.

12:56 Namjoon: “I’m at 101.4.”

12:56 Jin: “Okay. Are you feeling worse? Or just the fever?”

12:58 Namjoon: “I feel bad Jin... my throat hurts, and my nose is stuffy and I can’t breathe. And my stomach hurts.”

As soon as Namjoon hit send, he regretted it. His stomach was starting to hurt because of that coffee from earlier, but Jin would be furious if he figured that out.

Before Namjoon had the chance to defend himself, Jin had texted back.

1:02 Jin: “That’s what I thought. We’ll be home in a few hours okay Joon-bug? Just lie down and drink water or tea until I get there. There are some fever reducers in the cabinet. Only take one, and then in thirty minutes it should start working.”

1:04 Namjoon: “You’re not mad at me?”

1:05 Jin: “Namjoon, you’re sick. I’m not going to fuss at you even though I probably should. I’m not entirely heartless you know.”

Namjoon wiped a hot tear from his cheek. More than anything in the world, he wanted Jin to coddle him.

1:08 Namjoon: “Please hurry home. I need you.”

Namjoon set his phone down and cried a bit into his crab plushie. He would take fever reducer, but it hurt to move. His muscles ached and his skin was so sensitive that even his pajamas seemed to prick him.

His soft cries tightened in his throat. He was in so much pain. Only one thought crossed his mind:

“Please come home Jin. I don’t want to feel this way alone...”

———-

Jin put his phone back in his pocket. His chest was tight with sympathy. There was nothing he wanted more than to hold Namjoon close and tell him it would be okay.

But for now, he had to push that aside. He had problems that were a bit more pressing...

“Jin Hyung! Have you seen my pants? I can’t find my pants.” Jungkook yelled from the other side of the guest room.

“Jin, my snack bag is gone and Hobi is gonna explode if he doesn’t get a sprite in the next 12 seconds.” Yoongi was scrambling around the room.

“Hyung, have you seen my other earring?” Jimin looked totally lost and Taehyung was trying to help.

“Aish. I’m coming just hang on.” Jin then set off to solve all the problems that had been named off. The interview was in 20 minutes and everything that had been mentioned was nearly life or death.

ESPECIALLY Jungkook’s. He really needed to find pants before he just decided to go on without them. Because, he definitely would if given the choice.

——-

Namjoon had managed to fall asleep.

Jin had rushed through everything as fast as he could, and had quickly thanked the interviewer and called for the bus early.

4:00 Jin: “I’m on my way Joon-bug. Hang in there for me.”

When Namjoon actually fully woke up, he felt a hand on his back. It hurt against his skin, but he hoped that it meant Jin was back. He turned over, and sure enough, it was.

“Grande? You had to get a grande coffee? You’re gonna take out that stomach of yours.” Jin was smiling, which told Namjoon that he wasn’t really upset with him.

“I really wadted it Jin. Like, really really.” He sniffled. His nose was back to running.

“Yeah yeah I’m aware.” Jin popped out a fever reducer pill and grabbed a bottle of water.

“Now take this for me. I’d check your temperature again but just feeling your forehead earlier told me enough.”

Namjoon did still feel chilled, even under three blankets. His throat was sore, and speaking was hard.

Luckily for Jin, this meant he couldn’t protest taking his medicine.

“Alright, open up for me.” Jin placed the tablet on the younger’s tongue and then lifted the bottle of water to his lips. When he’d taken it, he eased Namjoon back down onto the pillow.

“How’s your throat feeling?” Jin asked, taking the leader’s hand in his own.

Namjoon didn’t want to speak so he just shook his head sadly.

“Alright bug. Just wait here, and I’ll go warm up some tea. I’ll probably put a little something in it for your stomach too since I can literally hear it bubbling from the coffee still.” Jin patted Namjoon’s hand and then got up from the bed. He closed the door and started to walk up the hallway.

Namjoon just smiled. Since Jin was home, he knew he’d be better in no time.

#rpf #bts sickfic #snz fic #Jin caretaker #Namjoon sickie #lots of sweetness and fluff #Day 1 Fic #Food TW

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ghostboyjules · 2 years ago

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@queerofthedagger Hiii 💕✨ finally back with the promised shared rambling abt the National 😅 this is my second attempt, because after formatting the first one exactly how I wanted it, tumblr decided to eat the post and not even save a draft.. or anything. almost made me cry. just a little bit. ajcjsjfjg I'm gonna put the bulk of the ramble under a break because it's going to be very dumb and messy because I'm very Sleepy and my brain just. started throwing word spaghetti.

(before that tho I did wanna say; when I said "albums/songs" and "favorite" in the same sentence, I knew you were gonna do the incredibly reasonable and sexy bi brain energy move and choose multiple.. 😏 fell into my trap of getting you to talk about multiple things hehehehe 😌💕✨)

If I'm not mistaken (which I very well could be) I think I started listening to them in 2017 - which when I went to look at their albums, really tripped me up cause iaetf came out in 2019 apparently???!!!?? it feels like it's been. so much longer than that.., what.. but then when I thought about it a little more I do remember the day it dropped, listening to it for the first time and accidentally crying at work 💀💀 (me: -headphones in and quietly weeping while trying to take pictures of a part that goes into a helicopter engine- my coworker: bro are you good??)

Also, basically SINCE 2017 I've been referring to them as my "Sad Dad" music, because what I didn't have words for then, I do now. and what it really is, is that the Gender I feel while listening to this band is so.. specific. and the only way I can describe it is Sad Dad. like, it's a nice gender feeling for me IDK WHAT IT MEANS AJDJSKFK I had to explain cause like, I'm not calling THEM sad dads.. I'm calling ME the sad dad in a very gender queer way because apparently that's just how my brain works sometimes. on that note, lemme stop speaking gibberish and get into the music, beginning with the albums

Trouble Will Find Me (NO SKIPS. NOOO SKIPS NO SKIPS... god this album... THIS ALBUM....)

Sleep Well Beast (I think this was actually the first album I fully listened to of theirs.. changed my whole goddamn life - unironically.)

okay I'm choosing High Violet for this one but it was SO CLOSE to being I Am Easy to Find. it's just that for *me* High Violet is more of a 'no skips' album, whereas with iaetf, there's like 4 songs (or more) that are. just. so so incredibly impactful to me but then others that I'm just kinda 'meh' about. (but meh in the way that I still absolutely love them, I just don't listen to them as much as I do the specific 4)

I think I'm gonna have to combine my "fave" song section with the lyrics, because they're just so... they go together in my brain.. AND this is gonna go in no particular order because I literally could NOT rank them if I tried, it's so goddamn hard 😭 this selection is. probably gonna tell you a whole lot more about me than anyone ever wanted to know but HAHA

Pink Rabbits

It wasn't like a rain, it was more like a sea / I didn't ask for this pain, it just came over me

what am I supposed to do with this Matt Berninger? huh? and then skip a few to closer to the end and you get:

You didn't see me, I was falling apart / I was a white girl in a crowd of white girls in the park / You didn't see me, I was falling apart / I was a television version of a person with a broken heart

at first listen this part kinda made me laugh a lil bit. but then I kept listening. and got older. and then really thought about what he means here. and THEN it started fuckin me up. sleeper cell of a song. I stg.

Oblivions

It's the way that you're gonna stop needing to tell me / You want me as much as I want you to tell me / I'm over the threshold / Everything is gonna be totally okay into oblivion

and then the way they sing this next part makes me LOSE IT, it's so so beautiful and moving and has soooo much feeling in it..

It's like a tide in the city lifts me and carries me around / And oh, my mind is made up out of nothing now / If nothing scares you about me and you, never put me down / Oh, my mind is made up out of nothing now

this will probably be one of my forever favorite songs. it makes me so goddamn emotional. I couldn't listen to this song without crying at one point. and now it only happens if I think too hard :') it's just. SO. BEAUTIFUL..

Hey Rosey

I will love you like there's razors in it / And she'll love you like a radiant flame / There's never really any safety in it / Please do it again

this whole song... just. this whole song... my god.

Demons

Can I stay here? I can sleep on the floor / Paint the blood and hang the palms on the door / I do not think I'm going places anymore / I wanna see the sun come up above New York

this whole bridge. just the whole bridge. the bit at the end? when I walk into a room I do not light it up? I *wept* when I heard this song. WEPT.

Don't Swallow the Cap

I'm not alone / I'll never be /And to the bone / I'm evergreen / And if you want / To see me cry / Play "Let It Be" / Or "Nevermind"

and also the part you posted, careful fear and dead devotion... I remember being fuckin STUNNED when I heard that lyric for the first time...

This Is the Last Time

You're the only thing I want / And I said I wouldn't cry about it

😐. this one fucks me up. and the outro?? fuck dude. get me outta here.

Graceless

I am not my rosy self / Left my roses on my shelf / Take the white ones, they're my favorite / It's the side effects that save us /Grace / Put the flowers you find in a vase / If you're dead in the mind, it'll brighten the place / Don't let them die on the vine, it's a waste

there's so many things I could talk about with this song but jfc.. just... whew

Slipped

I don't need any help to be breakable, believe me / I know nobody else who can laugh along to any kind of joke / I won't need any help to be lonely when you leave me / It'll be easy to cover, gather my skeletons far inside / It'll be summer in Dallas before I realize

this song breaks me. still breaks me. will always break me. just like that fuckin line says, I don't need any help to be breakable, believe me. 🙄 sjdjskf FUCK. and the way he delivers the 3rd verse. ruinous. why does this song hurt so goddamn much jfc. but it's so so good.

Lemonworld

I'm too tired to drive anywhere / Anyway right now, do you care if I stay? / You can put on your bathing suits / And I'll try to find somethin' on this thing that means nothin' enough

this is the part that's always stuck with me, but the chorus loves to get stuck in my head too.. makes me wanna lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling

okay, that's all for now.. literally took out like 3 songs because I just.. couldn't get my brain to work any more 😅 but we can always talk abt the ones we didn't get to later 🥰

anyway, thank you so much for answering the original ask, I was so excited to see your answers and I love love love seeing someone else talk about a shared interest, it makes me so incredibly happy, and I hope my answers can bring you as much joy as yours gave me <3 ttyl Mona 🥰✨

Hiii Mona <3 I couldn't help but notice that we were both losing our minds abt the new National song, and because I always need ppl to talk to abt them, I simply *must* ask. do you have a favorite album/song of theirs?? 👀 maybe even favorite lyrics? 👀👀

Jules!! <3 Oh this is such a pandora's box question because the National is just one of my favourite bands... 😭😄

God so albums is already so hard but with it all being very close it's

1. Trouble Will Find Me 2. Boxer 3. I Am Easy to Find

and for songs.... oof. i am bisexual why would you make me choose anything ever 😭😭

Don't Swallow the Cap

Graceless

Weird Goodbyes

Slow Show

Rylan

About Today

Mr Novemeber

Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks

Mistaken for Strangers

Light Years

and i could go on but. i. yeah. top 10 it gonna be 😭😂 and if i got into lyrics we'd be here forever but generally speaking I just really love the way they understate things and then make those punch your teeth out, like in Weird Goodbyes the

your coat's in my car, I guess you forgot / it's crazy the things we let go

or like, in Tropic Morning News (which honestly would deserve a place on that list... anyway) the

oh, what happened to the wavelength we were on? / oh, where's the gravity gone?

AND in Don't Swallow the Cap the !!!!

I have only two emotions / careful fear and dead devotion / I can't get the balance right / with all my marbles in the fight

ALSO because I can't NOT mention it the fucking line in Graceless that makes me want to eat glass namely

There's a science to walking through windows without you // plus // God loves everyone / don't remind me

Like ugh there's so many more this feels blasphemous but!! also please please please tell me all of yours I want to hear them ALL they just make me INSANE (and thank you so much for making me ramble about them I'm really terribly normal about them😭❤️)

#my beloved mutuals ✨#aaaahhh I'm still just 🥰🥰#mona ur so cool #your lyric selections 😭😭😭 YEESS #I had the biggest crush on Matt Berninger when I first got really into the national.#I *did* get clowned on a bit for it. mostly because I think at the time I was freshly 19 and he was a full 27 years older than me aufhwjfj #my friends just love clowning me tho so I can't really blame them.#ALSO APPARENTLY. WHAT IS IT WITH MEN WITH FEB 13TH BIRTHDAYS??#him AND ferdie?? pardon?? okay astrology... werk..#I gotta go to bed before I lose any more brain cells BYE AJDJSJF #oh wait one more thing. ofc I cannot help thinking abt my blorbos.. you'll never guess WHO lived rent free in my brain while #reading these lyrics...#😮‍💨😮‍💨

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vyvesvi · 3 years ago

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updated top albums list + recommended tracks from each bc im bored lol

*tentatively* in order

unnatural - wjsn | recommended songs: all of them (especially unnatural, supermoon, and yalla) except for rewind | skips: just rewind bc ballad /// im not sure what style to call this album but they really made such a smash, its crazy that it came out so early in the year and no gg is touching it (album wise). literally the only complaints i have are the obligatory ballad (that they always do bc they can all sing lmfao), the album cover/title (dont love the cover design and i dont love when the album name is the tt name, except in certain circumstances (a full album (especially where the title isnt necessarily from the title track) like montero) or when it's a single album (the inverse of this being rsq's prequel which couldve just been called colorfull since that was the only damn song 😐)). i also was disappointed with the outfits for last dance but that's peripheral.

timeabout, - yukika | recommended songs: insomnia & secret | skips: none /// okay to keep it very real im genuinely scared that she'll never surpass soul lady. i love, and i mean LOVE timeabout, but soul lady was on another plane of existence. like she could've held that album a little bit

the other side of the moon - gwsn | recommended songs: like it hot, starry night, i cant breathe | skips: i sing, depending on my mood /// i dont have much commentary tbh,this is just a very solid mini idk. id like to see a fusion of i cant breathe/tweaks/after the bloom/burn, maybe on their next mini. i love their brighter stuff but maybe a darker concept next (halloween cb pls pls pls)

montero - lil nas x | lowkey too soon for me to pick recommended songs but i'll say montero, scoop, lost in the citadel, sun goes down, and am i dreaming for now. will update! | skips: none /// i cant say that this is this year's sawayama bc sawayama was kinda more like a collection of really strong singles? whereas i feel like these songs shine as an album. i dont even know what to say except that im soooo surprised and impressed because i didnt know that this is the type of music he made???? like he raps but theres a lot of singing? not like belting but definitely not rapping. its kinda...alt ish? in some places? if i had to use ine genre to describe the whole album id probably say alt pop? idk but whatever it is it's definitely working

hide & seek - purple kiss | recommended songs: zombie & so why (tbh all of them) | 2am and zzzz depend on my mood but theyre def not full skips /// no bad song on the album this is crazy....i might rerank since i just listened to it for the first time but as of now idk, its good im just super impressed. ponzona wasnt for me but this cb theyre really doing all the things, lovr tht for them

produced by: [myself] - onlyoneof | recommended songs: coy & night flight | question mark depends on my mood /// im still mad at them (read: 8d) sooooo...idk. i can’t really listen to their music rn. but this mini is still good

play game: holiday - weeekly | recommended songs: check it out, weekend, holiday party | i like memories of summer rain and la luna but it depends on my mood /// very cohesive mini, def their best overall imo! not much to say, but i hope jiyoon gets well soon TTTT

enchant - orbit | recommended songs: gokurakuchouka & never gonna get away but also all of them except flor lunar | skips: flor lunar is nice but boring /// i need kpoppies to get into it im tired of being here alone cmon y’all

set - woodz | recommended songs: feel like | skips: none /// i prefer his bright tracks but this mini was solid as usual. where is the full album tho seungyoun hmmm????

guess who - itzy | recommended songs: sorry not sorry, tennis (0:0), kidding me | skips: in the morning, occasionally wild wild west /// i remember being very surprised that i liked this album, especially given that i dont like mitm. not anything groundbreaking but still solid. i think the naming of tennis (0:0) was really clever

intersection: trace - bae173 | recommended songs: green light, loved you | skips: none (sometimes the intro tho) /// honestly their music is really good??? mbk just hasn’t promoted them well, i feel like they make it a little hard to stan...i really appreciate that they’re not doing the stereotypical hard bg concept thing

lilac - iu | recommended songs: coin, flu, ah puh, troll | skips: honestly id have to relisten, some of the songs a lil boring but idr them at the moment

hello future - nct dream | recommended songs: hello future, life is still going on | skips: idr tbh, probably hot sauce though //// was very surprised that i liked this album, but the outro of hello future really got me after a few listens so i had to check it out. very decent!

killa - mirae | recommended songs: killa, sweet dreams, 1 thing | skips: none really but all of the bsides are a little mid tbh /// i will be 1000% honest in saying that the three reasons this allbum made this list are 1.) killa (the tt), 2.) none of the songs are bad, 3.) lien’s vocals. something about lien....he really just sells whatever song he’s on. his belting >>>>>>>>>>>. he makes their music very enjoyable to listen to, next in that department would be junhyuk. based on their most recent cb, siyoung and khael also contribute a lot as well. shame that the rest of the cb album kinda does nothing for me idk. random but i would really like a gg to cover higher and/or killa

& - loona | recommended songs: ur, ptt | skips: a different night, dance on my own /// these r my girls but this is not their best. ur is wonderful though, and ptt is addicting somehow. wow and be honest are fine but really not their best. i like wow’s choreo tho!

albums im excited to listen to (no particular order):

last year was weird volume 3, tkay maidza (i’ve already listened to a bunch of it but i need to sit and just listen to the whole thing)

troubled paradise, slayyter (same as above, but i didn’t even realize it came out this year, i thought it was old for some reason lol)

jo1, challenger (every song of theirs i hear i like pretty much so i need to take an organized look at them lmfao)

jo1, stranger (same as above)

only lovers left, woodz (duhhh its woodz. not out yet but im excited! i do prefer his brighter concepts and this def isn’t that. he says its not gonna be like what he’s done before but the title and concept photo that’s out rn is giving lift up)

the book of us: negentropy - chaos swallowed up in love, day6 (the title kinda bored me but we’ll see. also sungjin’s gone so.....................we’ll see.)

ancient dreams in a modern land, marina (i barely got past venus fly trap because its soooooo good. i’ve listened to a little after that but the songs i heard didn’t really compare. i have to give it a shot tho)

the chaos chapter: fight or escape, txt (i liked the blue hour mini so i need to give them a chance i suppose)

333, tinashe (i just feel like i should idk)

honorable mentions (no particular order):

blue hour, txt - discovered this year, came out last year. retroactively makes the 2020 albums list bc whew the market research that went into that thing paid off

hula hoop/ starseed ~kakusei~, loona (why tf does the album not have a name) - duhhh loona + synths = a smash. in fact like i said when it dropped i dont even wanna call them loona anymore. this is kongetsu no shoujo!!! this isn’t on my top albums list because im counting as two songs and my limit is 3. i might add it anyways lmfao. we’ll see

ugly beauty, jolin tsai - discovered this year, came out in 2018. i just really like jolin tsai idk. i had only heard that album w play and i’m not yours, both are iconic but the production quality sounds...low? like its older but ik they’re not *that* old. either way, ugly beauty does everything i wanted it to - dramatic, vocals, rapping, boa vibes...jolin tsai is a queen what can i say

also, there are of course a ton of singles that i love as well, this is albums only though lmfao. i have no idea if i could even attempt to organize the singles lol

#vyvesvi's year #song rec

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