#i need to like have this in my private discord for reference to copy paste if auto tag wont work

[every-sanji]

[toadallytickles]

Hey there! Your content is so fantastic and I really have enjoyed utilizing some of the resources you have proved for newer members of the community or for people who want to start branching out like myself! I am going to AUNT and and so excited (and admittedly a bit nervous) to actually meet more people in our community! Any tips or things you’d give to a first time event attendee?

Hello! Thank you so much for enjoying my content! I’m not here as often, though I like to pop in from time to time, and it’s warming to see that my blog continues to be enjoyed and act as a resource! 🥰

Aww, yay! That’s super exciting you’re branching out into the in-person scene and attending your first gathering! That can be a tough first step for a lot of people, I’m proud of you! 🎉

Clay and I will be at AUNT too! :)c

Connect and get to know attendees online before the event! If you’re attending AUNT, you’re likely in the AUNT Discord Server! You can interact with other members throughout the Server, though if you’re registered you can interact with attendees in the private event channels! Check members’ roles and see if they have Open DMs! Navigating a gathering helps when you know people! You can also start pre-planning your AUNT weekend, if you want to play board games, video games, JackBox games, watch movies, go out to do tourist-y things, and/or session/play with someone!

@jerjero and @sugarsoakertkl are newbie coordinators, and are happy to welcome you into the scene!

Write an introduction! It helps people get to know you and what you’re looking for! You can take inspiration from someone else’s introduction, feel free to copy-paste the format they used.

It’s one big hang out in a hotel! NEST is a very scheduled event. The smaller gatherings have a few things scheduled, though other than that the weekend is yours to do what you’d like! I believe AUNT’s “big” scheduled events are the group swim, jam circle, and watching the Super Bowl (not in 2025).

Attend other attendee’s events! With an open schedule, some members host their own events, like going out as a group for dinner, hosting board/video games, hosting movie/tv show watching, or inviting people to party/hang out in their room!

Treat others how you want to be treated. It is a tickle event, though no one wants to be treated like a kink dispenser or their kink role. Treat others like you’re meeting them in a public vanilla setting. Introduce yourself, be nice, be welcoming, be polite, be curious, open-minded, and interested!

Meet and greet everyone you can! Don’t just talk to people you want to play with. Getting known and established in the community can go a long way!

It’s NOT a Pay-to-Play event. Going does not guarantee play. Gatherings are community-oriented ; attendees are real people with boundaries and feelings, they’re attending for community, and to make genuine connections.

Interested in playing with someone? Some people do pick-up play after some conversation! Some people, like myself, like a closer relationship before playing! It doesn’t hurt to ask, and it’s okay if they say no- don’t take it personally (receiving a no is a good skill to practice). Once you’ve asked, don’t ask again; keep the ball in their court, if they’re interested they’ll reach out to you.

Someone is interested in playing with you? Either give them a yes or a no, try not to use “maybe.” It’s best to be as clear and honest as possible.

Vet people before playing with them. Get your references. Ask around. Members going are welcomed to the gathering because they’re friendly or know a regular, but they are not vetted for play. Most members I’m sure are kink educated and care for your wellbeing, but unfortunately I personally know a handful who are not good or safe players. Feminine-presenting afabs especially need to vet.

Tell a host if someone makes you uncomfortable. It is best if you can confront and correct them yourself if you’re involved; some people don’t know they’re harming others, and we’re all capable of making mistakes, and growing from them. If you can’t do it, please tell a host, or a friend you trust to help you. It’s better for a behaviour to be corrected than for it to never be acknowledged, and harm continues. Speaking up protects others.

Don’t be hard on yourself if the gathering didn’t go as you thought. Be proud that you took that huge step to get involved in-person. A lot goes on when you’re new and unfamiliar. Most members are longtime goers, and are in established friend groups and dynamics. You may feel it’s hard to find your place initially. I think everyone, even regular attendees, have had a mediocre gathering at least once. I have! It’s okay if this gathering is just you scoping it out and meeting the in-person scene!

How to approach people in the community

How to be approachable in the community

What tickle parties (gatherings) are like

Play party etiquette

Getting to know someone online

Dos and Don’ts of Play / Bondage

[lovesculprit]

Caps on for this post so its easier to read because I'm serious today + screenshots/message included + if you plan on commenting, read the whole thing

I wasn't going to make this post but I actually decided it would be good because sometimes people need to take accountability and also so it doesn't happen to others. if you cba to read it, i've highlighted the key points

I'm sure you'll see this, in which case, I messaged you and I thought we could stop what you were doing civilly, but instead you continued to spam my inbox. And since I knew it was you, I blocked you anyway, but it's all good because you blocked me right after you realised I knew. You said I dragged your name through the mud and I didn't, I referred to you as 'x' and didn't even say anything, but in this post, I am going to name you as clitfilms directly. (if you message me to own up to it and apologise, i will honestly take this down)

I am not commenting on the role she did/didn't play in her own drama, this is merely about her bringing people into it that aren't involved and creating more drama herself by lying and spamming my inbox.

So, as some of you may know, recently I had someone in my inbox tell me that people were talking about me in discord servers and saying I was clitfilms. (see ask here) and then i defended myself here

This anon refused to give proof when I asked, just said that what they (let's call them a and b because i don't want to name them) did to clitfilms should be enough.

(black image next to it is just so it displays better on the phone)

But that's no proof at all. If you know someone's said something, you should have screenshots and yet you had none, so I already doubted this anon. On top of that, I messaged a and b and cleared it up with them myself, but as I said, the no proof was the main doubter here for me.

I then began to suspect that the anon was clitfilms, maybe she wanted an ally and thought if I was attacked in the same way, I'd side with her. I had no proof of this, aside from this timing coincidence.

A little weird that clitfilms posts exactly when I get these 3 anon messages, but maybe a coincidence. So I just think it to myself but I won't accuse her of it, right?

Okay moving on, I turned anon off because it was annoying but then after I cleared the 'talking about me' stuff up with a and b a few days later, I put it back on.

Then, 23rd of Oct I get this ask:

(click the image on the right to see the full image, showing battery/time etc. to show that timing wise, the post and ask were sent literally a minute apart)

I didn't know her name was Naya because I've only checked her blog to clear up rumours in that one post and didn't stop to get her name, but since her drama keeps popping up in my inbox, I decided to check her page after getting this ask.

There, I discovered that her name is Naya and on top of that, someone had sent her this post. Which means in the 1/2 minutes that post of hers was up, someone managed to see it, check my post/read hers, then comprehend it and then send that anon message.

Now maybe someone has crazy super speed reading and absorbed it all in 2 seconds to then send me that anon message but to me it seems like she had already copied and pasted a message ready for my inbox that she sent as soon as she posted.

& that was so suspicious to me and exactly when I felt I wasn't crazy to think it was her the first time.

After this, I was tired of getting these asks and honestly was just waiting for more to come in, they were spread out a little so it seemed like they were different people' (ha, how wrong that was) but I wanted it to stop.

In my mind, there's two ways to stop this, make a post saying 'clitfilms leave my inbox', or send her a message. So I decide to unblock her and message.

I'm not going to blast someone's name if I can solve it with them privately, regardless of if what she's doing is shady & downright hypocritical based on what she seems to be posting about. (Just something I don't want to do unless I absolutely have to)

And for me personally, spreading my name around in people's inboxes, acting like different people in my own inbox to convince me of your lies and then spamming me? I can't just ignore that.

I don't know if my message comes across as mad, but I was, so I don't really care. Getting constant anons for no reason is so annoying, especially when you know who it is.

Now in this message, I addressed the anon claims directly (no point beating around the bush when I know clitfilms typed them to me) Which is where my points 1/2 came from.

So now she knows that I know for certain it's her.

5 minutes later, another ask comes in and then later after that, another one:

The one asking for 'proof that I know it's clitfilms’ comes 5 minutes after I message her basically saying I know it's you.

At this point, I'm certain it's her but hey maybe that's a coincidence too and the anon was instead referencing that ask from earlier. again though, the timing is crazy coincidental.

I don't know how many times anon asks can match up with clitfilms posts/interactions on several different days over several different weeks and it not be her. There are only so many coincidences that you can brush off.

I didn't screenshot every single ask, especially not the original copy/paste ones that I think many people got because I didn't know I'd make this post and after blocking sender, they're gone now.

But, I know I got an ask defending her on the 7th oct, again don't know what time but she was posting about the drama on that day.

And also, I was tagged on a post with one of a / b and on the same day, that was when she was first mentioned in my inbox.

Which now kinda feels like, she didn't know who I was, saw that post, realised I might be mutuals with a/b and quickly messaged me to say they were bullies to prevent them from 'manipulating more people to turn against her'.

Saying that, I have never ever gotten a single bad ask about clitfilms. Every ask was defending her like that was their life's goal.

And linked to that, this ask from earlier came through on Oct 19th around 3/4am bst. One of a/b got a message in their inbox too, saying I was clitfilms (again, sorted now) & I didn't want to message them again because we don't know each other, but I wonder if they got that ask around the same time I got mine. That one I don't know because I haven't asked, but just a thought, wouldn't be surprised considering everything else adds up.

^^ since this little paragraph, i don't have exacts to prove it, you can ignore

Anyway, I'm going off topic.

Then finally, I had made this post, which I then reblogged. Which states that when I pressed 'block sender' on one of those anon asks, they all disappeared too.

So every single one of those anons was the same fucking person and at this point, like come on. Does she have some crazy fan that has singlehandedly been defending her honour in my inbox consistently over several days? Like how am I supposed to not think it's her?

Additionally, I feel like she'd be quick to say she's being 'framed', but in one of the earlier examples, where she was online at the same time as anon, the anon ask i got was a few minutes prior to her post. and how would they know she'd be online in a few minutes, to then decide to send me an ask?? They'd have to be some crazy mind reader that predicts when she posts, to perfectly time an ask to frame her.

That connected with everything else just makes it so blatant.

And so if I've messaged you and then you continue spamming me, you're a lost cause, there's no getting around it other than blocking you again.

So I reblogged that post ^^ (because I was honestly laughing at how crazy someone has to be to go to those lengths, on tumblr of all places), blocked her and in the same second, she blocked me too.

So you're not in my inbox, but you ignore my message, your chance to defend yourself and then block me after refreshing my page and seeing me confirm again that I know it's the same person sending those asks...hm okay.

Personally, if it were me, I'd want to defend myself if I was innocent. And I gave you that chance to have a conversation privately.

But instead, you block me, someone who's profile i'm sure you'll say you've never seen, on 0 grounds, other than the fact that I think you're harassing me, makes you look even more guilty. But hey, maybe it's just me.

In my opinion, with all of that, it's so painfully obvious that it was clitfilms constantly doing this to me, but take it however you want.

I just can't stand to see people doing stuff like this and then trying to act like it's not them. Take some accountability like damn girl.

On that post of hers (with my post linked), after her rant, she tags it with this, yet she's the one in my inbox.

If she can lie and do that to me, what else can she do? Which is why I feel the need to say something, before clitfilms does it again to someone else.

[rosewrit]

so  something  i’ve  been  doing  a  lot  recently  is  using  the  REFACE  APP . . .     and  i  realized  that  it  works  well  with  artbreeder  faces . . .     so  the  natural  combination  is  to  make  my  perfect,     ideal  faceclaim !

because  this  brings  me  so  much  joy,     i  thought  i’d  make  this  little  tutorial  for  people  who  either  don’t  know  how,     or  maybe  haven’t  thought  of  it  yet  ♡

this  can  either  require  a  lot  of  ps  knowledge  or  a  little,     depending  on  how  far  you  want  to  go.     it’s  possible  to  recolor  their  hair  as  well,     and  this  is  the  tutorial  i  learned  that  from.

some  tips:

the  reface  app  works  best  with  gifs  where  the  character  is  facing  mostly  frontwards.     sometimes  you’ll  get  some  really  weird  combinations  in  frames,     but  for  the  most  part  it  works  out  fine.

if  you’re  making  static  icons  out  of  the  gifs  like  i  do,     then  try  to  use  ones  with  natural  lighting.

you  can  only  pick  and  choose  your  own  gifs  with  pro,     which  is  about  three  dollars  for  a  week.     i  usually  pay  for  the  week,     turn  off  recurring  subscription  so  it  doesn’t  charge  me  again,     and  just  go  absolutely  ham.

another  thing  --  you  will  lose  quality  in  the  gifs  no  matter  what,     so  choose  wisely !

#1 :     artbreeder

the  first  thing  you’re  going  to  need  to  do  is  make  an  account  on  artbreeder.     it’s  completely  free !     pick  out  some  reference  celebrities  of  who  inspires  your  original  character.     for  example,     for  serena  her  looks  are  inspired  by  natalie  portman,  dianna agron,     and  emilia  clarke.

while  it  may  seem  confusing  at  first,     you  start  with  one  image  and  sliders  come  up  to  the  side.

these  toggles  help  you  edit  the  image.     the  best  thing  to  do  is  get  a  neutral  expression,     unless  you  have  a  muse  who  is  smiling  often,     or  frowning  often . . .     but  even  then,  reface  app  seems  to  focus  a  lot  on  the  eyes  and  can  fix  the  expressions  so  long  as  they  aren’t  too  extreme.

here’s  the  artbreeder  piece  i  made  of  my  oc,     serena.

now,     all  you  have  to  do  is  download  the  reface  app  on  your  phone,     then  search  gifs  within  the  app.     i  personally  choose  to  copy     &     paste  the  gifs  into  a  private  discord  server,     and  i  screencap   /   hoard  them  there.

once  you  put  your  psd  on  it,     and  work  with  the  image,     you  can  make  your  very  own  faceclaim !

[ghoste-catte]

multiples of 3 ✌🏼-sgmdrcklee

@sagemoderocklee you’re really trying to kill me lol

This got long as heck so I’m throwing it behind a cut. Read on for answers and fic recs! (Mostly the fic recs)

3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year

This is a tough one to answer for me generally because I tend to spit words onto the page and once I have written them I no longer remember writing them. And 2020 has stretched on so long that as I’m looking at some of the stuff I wrote in the beginning of this year, I hardly remember what’s even in it. I think at one point someone (@goblin-draws maybe?) mentioned a line in Sleeptalk with Me where the innkeeper calls Kankuro “chubby boy”, and I was like “Oh ... did I write that? Yeah, sounds like something I’d have someone say to Kankuro ...” 

It might be easier to talk about this in other terms. One of the scenes I worked the hardest on this year was the fight scene in Chapter 3 of Skeleton Key. The original draft of the scene was a lot shorter, and a lot of the backstory for Misaki’s revenge quest was elided. The scene as originally written was clunky, confusing, and as my lovely wife/beta put it sounded “like a Naruto villain” was doing the dialogue, when previously she’d found Misaki sinister and intriguing. Which wasn’t what I wanted. I basically entirely overhauled the scene and re-wrote it several times. I wouldn’t call it a ‘favorite’ scene (I hate writing fight scenes generally; having chosen to immerse myself in a fandom about ninja where much of the drama comes from battle is my eternal regret), but it is a scene that I put a lot of effort into, and I’m moderately satisfied with the improved product that resulted.  

6. least popular fic this year

By far my least popular fic by kudos ever is Pitch Perfect. Which makes complete sense to me. It’s a fic where I’ve written 2 characters who are men in canon as cis women, which pushes a lot of uncomfortable buttons for a lot of people. It contains F/F smut, which is something that a lot of people who choose to read GaaLee probably aren’t out there looking for. And people comment and kudos less on smutfics, I assume because they don’t want their username attached to porn or because they’re embarrassed (which I totally get, no shame there). It’s a modern AU with a sports twist, and AUs are often less popular than canonverse in my experience. I will say though that it has a surprisingly high number of private bookmarks compared to other fics with comparable hit and kudos counts. So I assume people are just a bit more shy because the premise is so ‘out there’. I will say as far as my fics go, it’s one of my personal favorites and probably one of the most intimate and true-to-life things I’ve written? So it actually is a little comforting to know that something so vulnerable has relatively little attention. 

9. longest wip of the year

If we’re going based on stuff that’s partially published but not complete, my Gaara-adopts-Shinki fic On My Way Home is my longest in-progress fic at just over 20k words, although technically I started it in 2019. It will probably end up being right around 40-50k when it’s complete, which might end up situating it as my longest fic ever? 

12. favorite character to write about this year

Okay, this is an easy one. I love writing Kankuro. I think he is hilarious. He is the devil on my shoulder and a creature of pure id, and every time I write a line of dialogue for him it’s the summation of my rudest thoughts about a situation put in the crudest possible terms. If there were a megaphone directly from my unfiltered brain giving running commentary, that would be Kankuro.

15. something you learned this year

I have learned SO much this year! This is only my 2nd year properly ‘focusing’ on writing fic and investing any substantial time into it. I think the biggest thing I have learned, though, is how to overcome a lot of my self-consciousness about writing stories with NSFW elements in them. Starting out, I was so extremely shy and mortified about writing fic at all, much less things like hugging or (god forbid!) kissing. So taking on the smut prompts I took this year and really buckling down on learning to write the mechanics and emotions of sex has been a massive learning experience. (And sorry, by the way, if I haven’t gotten to a prompt you sent me in January yet. I do intend to write all of them eventually!) 

18. current number of WIPs

Ah. The call-out question. My general fic process is idea -> outline -> wip -> edit -> ready to post (where the final draft sits in my docs until I gin up the courage to actually post it). So skipping fics that are just “ideas” on the big mega-list, I have 3 fics in the “outline” stage, 13 fics in the partially written “wip” stage, 1 fic in the “editing” stage, and 2 that are complete but yet-to-be-posted. So, like, 19 total in the offing. (The “ideas” list is even worse lol.)

21. most memorable comment/review

This is such a difficult question because every single comment I get makes me do a little dance for joy. That’s not an exaggeration btw I really sit there and like bounce around in my seat for a moment before I open the Ao3 email. I am not an especially emotive person irl, but there have been times I’ve been brought near tears by comments. I’ll also occasionally show them to my wife like !! look at this nice thing this person said !! and she’s indulgent enough to actually read them. There have been a couple comments that have really stuck with me, that I starred in my inbox and return to frequently, but I don’t want to bring attention to someone else without their permission. I will say there was one person recently who mentioned (not in the comments on one of my fics) that they had found someone who does physical binding of fanfiction and they were about to ask my permission to do that, but then the person who does the binding only does certain ships that she likes ... so that, just, absolutely floored me. The idea that someone might actual want a physical copy of my stupid little ninja fanfictions is, like, so truly immense and completely overwhelming?

24. favorite fic you read this year

You can’t make me pick just one!! (For reference, I have bookmarked right around 180 fics in the past year, and that’s not including fics that I just read, really enjoyed, but didn’t think I could ‘handle’ a second time around.) So, skipping over the ones that AREN’T Naruto ... here is a brief sampling of some faves:

Silica by deepestbluest (rated E, GaaLee, ShikaTema, and Kankiba) - An absolute emotional powerhouse of a fic that manages to skillfully interweave three complex relationship dynamics, satisfactorily resolve them, and give you ALL the sandsibs feels in just over 10k words. 

Childhood Not-Friends (series) by MegaWallflower (rated G, KakaGai) - @megawallflower is a KakaGai god for good reason. Absolutely adorable relationship development fics (five of them!) with the premise that Kakashi thinks he and Gai have been dating since they were kids ... Gai just hasn’t been clued into it yet. These stories will give you heart-eyes.

The Bright Side by gidget_goes (rated T, GaaLee) - This is the Buffy AU I never knew I needed, because I’ve never seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But truly you don’t need any Buffy knowledge to enjoy this fic. @gidget-goes command of imagery is masterful, and the way they manage to snap from snark to tugging at your heartstrings is awe-inspiring. Gaara breaks my heart in this. And did I mention Kankuro wears a 10-gallon hat? Because Kankuro wears a 10-gallon hat. 

Nature vs. Nurture by Bidiza (rated T, GaaLee) - So introspective and so poetic. This looks like a WIP but it’s actually multiple oneshots, although by the end of the second one you’ll be dying for the rest of the promised series. 

I’m a Fool to Want You by BeelieveRosemarie (rated M, GaaLee) - Turns out @tuttiefruttiegaalee isn’t just an amazing artist, they’re a writer, too! Slow-dancing that will break your heart. Listen to the Frank Sinatra song while you read this for extra tear-jerking effect.

Let Love be Known (series) by TenTomatoes (rated G, GaaLee) - This is the twist on the arranged marriage trope and Beauty and the Beast that I didn’t realize this fandom was missing. I’m absolutely obsessed with their concept of Gaara as the Beast

I Could Be by LilacNoctua (rated T, GaaLee) - I know I big up @lilac-writes Worthwhile series a lot (deservedly so, because it’s so good it makes you look at the series and go “Why the fuck didn’t Kishimoto make this canon exactly like this?”), but this story made me absolutely die between the butterflies in my stomach and how hard I was laughing. There’s one line--you’ll know it when you read it--that absolutely bowls me over every time I re-read this. 

And Then Continue by EgregiousDerp (rated E, GaaLee) - Obviously I’m biased because this was a gift, but @egregiousderp writes some of the the best characterized porn I’ve ever read. You will read this and go “Wow! This is exactly how it would happen!” It’s such a tender, beautiful exploration of Gaara’s insecurities and a very real feeling first time, for all its soft edges. 

Cake by citronelle (rated E, KanKiba) - I don’t even know what to say about this one other than ... phew, this is extremely well written, extremely hot, and extremely in character. Just read it. I promise it’s worth it. 

Saudade by YumKiwiDelicious (rated M, GaaLee) - I’ve run around reccing this to just about every person on the face of the earth at this point. If you’re in the GaaLee Discord you probably saw everyone salivating over every new update of this fic and with good reason. The twists and turns of this fic will have you on the edge of your seat, second guessing every single moment. And it will break your heart in the meantime. What more could you want?

the love potion commotion by floating_cats (rated T, NejiSasu with background GaaLee) - One of those fics where you wish the author’s sense of humor was your own. So many hilarious moments in this story, and it brought me a new appreciation for a ship I never would have even considered. 

Finger Lickin’ Good by whazzername (rated E, GaaLee) - Whazz is another one of those authors where I literally want to rec every single thing she’s ever written, she’s just that good. (Speaking of which, if you haven’t read Fools Rush In and its sequel Degrees of Separation, you’re missing out on the best possible Metal origin story of all time. Don’t deprive yourself of this.) But this story is just ... so incredibly in character for a situation that reads like crack. It’s handled with the utmost straight-facedness and it’s so. freakin’. good. 

heart lines by winterberry_holly (rated M, NejiTen and GaaLee) - I don’t even have the words to describe how perfect this fic is. It’s a truly beautiful exploration of Tenten’s relationship with her palmistry hobby and with the people in her life. My heart ached with every single line. 

Standing on Ceremony by kuroashi (rated E, GaaLee) - This is just ... such a beautiful wedding story. So lovely, like getting the best possible warm hug from someone you love. If that love one was slightly strange and socially inept, because, well. It’s still Gaara doing Gaara-things. @baphometsss is another one of those authors whose handling of smut scenes is so stupendous it makes me wildly jealous. 

Thrall by RokiRiot (rated T, GaaLee) - Idiots-to-lovers with a magic AU twist! This is such a wonderful story, and Gaara’s internal monologue is absolutely amazing. And Lee is Deaf in this fic, which I never ever get to see and which absolutely made my entire day/week/month/life. 

Make-Out Consequences by LuxaLucifer (rated M, KakaGai with background canon Boruto ships) - I laughed so hard reading this that I had to take a breather to stop crying. That’s not an exaggeration. The characterization in this fic is impeccable and the humor is to die for. Naruto’s buffoonery truly shines here, and the author’s wit is just beyond anything I could even properly summarize. Hysterical. A++. 

Thirteen Strokes by Luna_Lee (rated T, GaaLee) - Again, like, if you aren’t reading literally everything @sagemoderocklee writes, are you even really a GaaLee fan? But this fic is beyond even for one of Eeri’s incredibly excellent writings. The worldbuilding in this, the cultural notes, the imagery ... it’s all so lush and so fulfilling and so beautiful. It’s a story about love and it’s a story that you can tell has love poured into every single line. I can’t recommend it enough. 

Checkmate by shadowstrangle (rated G, GaaLee) - The pettiness vibes ... this is so funny. Such a cute story and I love Gaara’s sense of humor here. Not a lot of writers give him a sense of humor, but I love how @shadowstrangle gives him a slightly odd, slightly left-of-center take on humor that still manages to be so funny. 

To Court a Village by FanFictionEngineer (rated G, GaaLee) - Another one where my bias is perhaps slightly obvious, but the premise of this fic is amazing. I love cultural misunderstandings, and the idea of Lee trying his hardest to court Gaara ineptly is just so perfect. 

affliction of feeling by theformerone (rated E, SakuHina) - One of those ships that it would never have occurred to me to seek out but that absolutely works with how the author’s set it up. The dynamics here are delicious. It’s so rare to find good F/F porn but this is one of them for sure. 

Tried and Tested by twentysomething (Rated M, KakaIru with background canon Boruto ships and GaaLee) - Iruka’s narration in this story is just incredible. I haven’t laughed this hard reading a fic in ages. And the concept alone (that Naruto can’t be promoted to Hokage until he passes his chuunin exams ... as an adult ... and Sasuke gets dragged along for the ride) is just brilliant. Amazing concept, amazingly executed. 

a fireside waltz by winterberry_holly (rated M, GaaLee) - I really tried not to rec a single author more than once here but for this one I had to. I got about halfway through this fic and immediately started running around ringing the town crier bell like READ THIS FIC! READ THIS FIC! An absolutely smoldering Regency AU with such beautiful, intimate dance scenes. My heart was racing every single time their fingers brushed. If you don’t read anything else on this list, at the very least read this. 

27. favorite fanfic author of the year

I really can’t pick just one. I am lucky enough that @egregiousderp passes me her drafts under the table before (or without) publishing, and getting to read those is a private treat of unparalleled proportions. Some of my favorite things I’ve read this year I can’t even rec because they’re her unpublished stuff. 

30. favorite fandom to read fic from this year

This is gonna come off strange because I just wrote such a long Naruto reclist, but I recently watched What We Do in the Shadows, and found an incredibly talented group of authors in that fandom with really amazingly good dialogue and narrative voice. I also read a lot of fic for the new It movies (even though I couldn’t watch the 2nd one for ~reasons~), and damn if there isn’t a talented crop of authors in that fandom, too. And finally with ATLA making its way onto Netflix, I had the chance to start watching that for the first time and found a ton of really good fic there as well! 

fanfic end of the year asks!

[monstersandmaw]

Patreon Plan going forward...

This is copied directly from the public post over on my Patreon. Please remember that ‘here’ refers to Patreon, not Tumblr!

Ok folks, so I've had some more time to think about what I'm going to do, and how Patreon is going to work, at least for the rest of this crazy year called 2020.

I've had a few people leave after announcing that I'll be winding things down, but I've actually had a few more join too, so I wanted to clarify things a little further for everyone.

You may remember from this post I made near the start of August, that I said I wish to focus on writing my novel, Weaver of Threads, and as such, I won't have the time or the energy to continue to post monster stories on here three times a week, as I have been doing.

Some of you expressed interest in the novel, and a few of you also said that you wished to continue to support me as a writer, which really moved me. Writing is my whole life, and without it, I think I probably wouldn't be here, so to know that you value what I create means the world to me. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Now, here's what I've decided to do for the forseeable future:

Existing patrons will not be billed for September or October. Towards the end of October, I will make a decision whether to continue simply suspending billing for November and December (the likely option), or whether to unlaunch Patreon (essentially mothballing it. This means no one could access it - including me - but if I decided to relaunch, it would return as it was before, rather than completely deleting everything).

Unfortunately because of the way Patreon works, new patrons will still be charged (once) upon subscribing when billing is suspended, but they will not be charged again until I reactivate monthly billing.

I will not guarantee any new content during suspension of billing, but I may post things as and when anyway, since it's all up here anyway.

Many people were anxious that the stories on Patreon would vanish forever if I closed it down, and I have toyed with the idea of fully re-editing them and then putting them into an anthology e-book. That's still undecided because it'd be a lot of work, but if you'd like a PDF copy of any of the stories on here, let me know and I'll generate one for you (Patrons only). The only condition would be that it's not to be redistributed or posted anywhere, but I know I don't need to worry about that with you folks anyway.

The CYOA story with Gabriel will continue to be finished and posted on here though. There are four more chapters to go and it's all plotted out, with the various options taken into account. It looks like a crazy conspiracy theory in my notebook, but it's all sorted, I promise!

I think I will also complete the Ashridge Pack story, A Door to the Past (vampire), and Winter Solstice (Fae) prior to starting work on my novel. These three stories have all been properly plotted out with chapter outlines now, but it will require a lot of work to finish them all off. Ashridge and Winter Solstice will be released and sold as an e-publication, but patrons will receive a discount code if I can work out how to do that on whatever platform I post them! If I can't manage that, I'll release it on Patreon for you in full before publication.

A Door to the Past will be finished and either posted on Patreon or on Ao3 before hitting Tumblr too.

Depending on how things look when we begin November, I may continue to suspend billing for November and December, giving everyone free and full access to all the posts, but not guaranteeing any new content like monthly stories etc.

If you wish to support me financially during this time when I'm not charging you, there's always my Ko-fi (via Paypal), but no one is under any obligation to do so.

The Novel and Patreon - a tentative plan.

After my outstanding obligations (those three aforementioned multi-part stories and the CYOA) are finished, I may remove the $5 tier, but maintain only the $1 tier.

The Discord server will continue because it's a fun community and it's a nice resource and group of chill people. Once work on the Novel begins in earnest (after I've finished my outstanding obligations), and if there's enough interest, I may share worldbuilding and character info, as well as very short extracts, as I go along. This will be on the $1 tier. Let me know if there's still interest.

I plan on participating in NaNoWriMo again this year, working on Weaver of Threads. I may share my progress and extracts with you on Patreon from that too. The 'writing' and 'library' channels on Discord will probably feature a number of us sharing and stressing together, so feel free to join in! If your Discord account is not linked to Patreon, I'd suggest doing that because it's the easiest way to make sure you're linked up, otherwise, ask me and I'll generate an invite for you. Discord is for Patrons past and present, so even if you're not able to remain a patron, you can still be a part of our chilled out server.

Other Patreon rewards:

I had hoped to get my Etsy shop up and running sooner, and thus create discount codes for you, but I haven't had the chance, though I've made a lot of progress and investments in tech/equipment. I will share any discount codes on the Discord server when the Etsy shop is fully operational, so that you can still have access to these benefits.

Before I close Patreon, I will hopefully run one final mailout, featuring artwork (commissions) by Melonberri and Ilustrariane (permission has been granted!), as well as some of my own stickers and artwork. This will be done as before, with a confidential Google form where you will be required to fill in your details for postage. This info, as ever, will only be used for the purposes of the mailout and won't be shared anywhere or used by anyone other than me for that. More info to come on that front. Anything left over from this will be sold as grab bags via Ko-fi on Tumblr.

Any questions?

I realise that this is a lot of information and a lot of change. Thank you for your patience, and I hope that everything is clear. If not, do get in touch! Please leave me a comment below with your question, or get in touch on here in the private message function (it's clunky, be warned!), or on Discord or Tumblr. I want to keep you involved, and I want you to know that I value all the support you've shown me.

Thank you! G x

Patreon Story Masterlist (free to view/browse)

[malachitelibrary]

How to Make a Magic Learning Discord Server That Won't Fail

Many people make discord servers for the purpose of learning and sharing magical experiences, which is wonderful! However, many times these servers eventually fail. Here’s some advice so your server doesn’t end up being one of them.

As a general tip, a more specific discord will foster more learning than a general one. In a more specific discord, everyone already has common purposes and experience, thus more chances for complementary knowledge. A green witchcraft discord would get further than a simple “magic” discord; a shamanism discord would have more learning than a spirit work discord. A discord for specifically vampiric spirits/spirit companions would have more learning than a spirit work discord.

Note that the point is learning. Servers where you simply hang out with other practitioners are fun, however their often general nature is not conducive to learning in depth. “Yeah, this spirit species exists and is cool!” does not have the same depth quality as “I had this experience with your X spirits, this is how they manifested to me, this is their energy signature; my experience was different because Q…..but it was similar in Y….”.

On to the rest of the post,

Failure of a server defined as:

People rarely talked in the first place; a lot of people joined but nobody talks, so eventually everyone just leaves

There’s so much drama/BS that nobody wants to go on/people leave

Learning conversations never reach a certain amount of depth; only shallow knowledge is communicated at best. Nobody learns anything.

The server is so poorly organized/structured that nobody has any idea where anything is and therefore defeats the purpose of learning

STRUCTURING THE SERVER:

Add channels as needed, more channels are always better than less. With the “mute” function and the ability to turn off notifications yet still be able to see new messages, there is no reason to limit the amount of channels.

Have resource channels. These are channels centered around a very specific purpose; they are reference channels where only the resources are posted and no discussion should take place. Discussion on things posted should take place in OTHER channels. These are extremely important for organization! Suggested reference channels are bolded, below.

Suggested Base Channels (and explanation):

Rules -duh

Introduction- duh

Structure (roles, suggestions, server-wide announcements)

General -anything goes

Magic general -anything vaguely magical can go here

Divination_readings

Nsfw -duh

Resources_library

Salt_vent -Any salt or vent topics. (May want to set/limit rules to amount of salt [or not]. As some people feel morally bad just for being in a server where people are salty)

Again, make more channels based on what your server is around. The more specific each channel, the better. For example, in an energy work discord, the channels #energy_healing, #energy_experiments, #energy_classification would be more useful than a single #energy_work channel.

Suggested Introduction for a magic learning discord:

Name, Age, Pronouns, What I do (Labels), What I know, What I want to know, General About (Anything else like interests/hobbies/etc can go in the general about).

Feel free to customize this to your server’s needs!

Screening People:

NO MINORS. NO FUCKING EXCEPTIONS!!

Whether they’re mature or not is literally like playing russian roulette (and often times, they won’t be mature/their true maturity level will show at the tiniest problem)

Often poor magical discernment

Often beginners who will have nothing to contribute

Can’t talk about dicks/vag/other sexual adult topics (whether ur bangin spirits or other ppl)

Through tumblr you WILL get those minors who expect you to tag every single “trigger” ever instead of having the maturity to, you know, leave the conversation if a conversation makes them upset/has triggering content. And those minors who do not know the difference between their legitimate triggers  (things that cause panic attacks) versus things that make them uncomfortable (not actual triggers by the psychological definition).

If you let minors in you WILL have to play babysitting, mediator, teacher, advisor, etc; in addition, some minors will feel entitled to it and will get offended if you do not fulfill those roles for them.

My dude if this isn’t enough to convince you to not let minors in. Make a server with minors and see me after class

Do not make the server public/let anyone join freely- trust me, even if you start with only your friends, it WILL grow.

This is also because many people will not be open to talking about certain parts of their practice with absolute strangers. Therefore, trust is necessary to having in-depth conversations.

Limit 30 people. Think of actual classroom sizes- it always gets hectic when numbers go above 30. (talkin actual classrooms where discussion takes place, not lecture halls)

Do not invite anyone you know is easily offended/can’t handle disagreeing without feeling insecure

Do not invite anyone who is very much into the “tumblr mindset” (fits into the above point)

DO invite people who have basic critical thinking skills (will often correlate with not being of the tumblr mindset). Some basic critical thinking skills are:

Understanding that just because someone has a different experience, it doesn’t invalidate theirs

Understanding that a word can have multiple definitions

Knowing that analyzing something and bashing it are two completely different things

Understanding that there are often multiple methods to do things and that they can all be “right” simultaneously

Understand that even with the above point, methods may still be improved upon and some are/can be more effective than others

Able to extract applicable, impersonal info from personal experience

Etc...definitely not limited to this list.

Do not invite anyone who does not fit the salt level (or lack thereof) in the chat

Have mostly people with established practices and experience. Limit beginners to only those you know will put in the work on their own, know how to ask the right questions, and won’t obligate you to hold their magical hand.

This is because with too many beginners, learning/lesson/info/discussion/theoretical conversations will be shallow at best, because they will constantly be interrupted by “What is X??? What is Y?? How does (x basic thing all the experienced people already know) work??” And of course, since beginners have no idea what is going on, they will have nothing to add to the discussion.

Suggested Rules/Base Rules:

Feel free to literally copy/paste these! In fact I encourage it because they are good rules that have stood the test of time. Italicized is commentary/explanation/examples.

Welcome! Please read all rules before you post anything, and write a little introduction for yourself in the #introduce_yourself chat.

RULE ZERO: This is a dictatorship channel. Admins reserve the right to boot people without notice, override our own rules, etc. We say this because we will not tolerate attempts to manipulate loopholes in the own rules.

Yes, you must make it clear as fuck that you rule the server. If your rules and hand of justice are even, then as ADULTS (hint hint) everyone in the chat should understand.

Concerning Publicity/New People

-Do not post the link to this server publicly. Some of us are not comfortable with being publicly associated with paganism/the metaphysical. This includes tumblr and any other internet website.

-Please ask some people for an okay before adding someone new.

-18+ ONLY. NO EXCEPTIONS.

Concerning Problems/Drama (Aka “reasons to not have minors”)

-If you have a problem with anyone in the chat, deal with it privately unless it involves them breaking the listed rules.

-As an 18+ chat you are expected to have the discernment of offensive things of an adult, and the maturity to handle it if offended.

-Since this is an adult chat and adult topics will be discussed, if you ever feel uncomfortable with what it being talked or are triggered, about please remove yourself from the chat; it is your responsibility to leave the channel and calm down. We are all adults here. We are not going to stop a conversation because someone is upset.

-What happens in the server stays in the server. Keep drama that occurs to yourself and don’t go making public posts about it. Don't be gossiping or sending screenshots about what has been discussed here in an attempt to instigate drama or whatnot. If found out, you will be banned.

-Criticism/analysis is not the same as outright insulting/bashing. If you are not mature enough to handle this, please refrain from participating in the debates and/or remove yourself from the server.

-If questioning/analyzing different working methods, paths, etc, makes you uncomfortable, insecure, or feel invalidated, then this server is not for you.

-No reading, scanning, or visiting people, and interacting with their spirits/entities/companions without permission. For privacy, respect, and ward reasons.

-Keep salt/vent discussion to the salt/vent channel(s). Do not dump it in another channel if the vent channel is already busy.

-Yes, we know All Paths Are Valid(™). This assumption should already be obvious before debates. Do not bring this up as a way to distract from a debate/argument as it should already be known.

^^^I’ve seen this happen a lot. How it usually goes down:

P1/P2/P3: (discussing something experimental/controversial, but enlightening nonetheless)

A4: “but we should remember all paths are valid!!!”

A5: “yeah, all paths are valid! We can’t judge anyone, you guys should stop trying to compare different working methods”

A4/A5: (begin complaining about how someone found them invalid)

(the conversation P1/P2/P3 had never continued)  

Learning/Asking Questions

-If someone is asking a legitimate question, if you're going to joke/reply sarcastically, follow up with what you actually know or do not reply in the first place.

-Remain respectful when asking questions. Do not try to force someone to answer a question, especially if it is a personal question/on a topic that makes them uncomfortable.

-You are not obligated to answer questions that delve into territory that is uncomfortable/too personal. If a question is something you do not want answered, just politely say so.

-If a reading/experiment is going on in another channel, please do not interrupt the reading to ask for context that you could easily scroll up for, or attempt to make casual conversation in the middle of others’ experiments. Save your questions/comments for after the reading and/or comment in a different channel.

Server Structure

-We are not super strict on staying on topic, but please attempt to do so and switch channels if necessary.

-Channels (#list resource channels here…)  are resource channels, meaning that they are for very specific purposes. Discussion on things posted should take place in OTHER channels.  Sometimes we forget, that is understandable- but note that comments will be deleted after a time by an admin or mod.

-List of channels and explanation of each channel:

#channel name…….explanation….. (obvs fill this part in)

Writing New Rules/Writing Your Own Rules:

Group rules by type rather than number them. Please trust me on this one, it really helps for organization (plus there’s a 2000 character limit so you cannot have all rules in one post anyways.)

YES HAVE THE RULES IN AN ACTUAL RULES CHANNEL AND NOT TO AN EXTERNAL LINK (like linking to a google doc rather than writing the rules directly into the server).

Admin Skills/Requirements:

Structure/Organization: Poor organization will defeat your learning server very quickly.

Ability to read people and social context: THIS IS HOW YOU BOTH PREVENT AND FIX DRAMA!!

Guts: You’re going to have to kick people. You’re going to have to ban people. You’re going to argue, deal with gross people, etc. Some people won’t like it. Some people won’t like YOU because of it.

You Shouldn’t Be An Admin If You:

Lack most of above AND cannot find someone else who can do what you cannot 

Are conflict avoidant: if conflicts or issues give you anxiety/stress to a debilitating level, do not fucking admin. They WILL happen and if you cannot handle it, you should not admin.

Lack social skills/are not personable: Admin openness sets the tone for a chat.

Are easily offended: Self explanatory.

Hate being questioned: People WILL question your rules/authority occasionally. If you just throw a hissy fit or get passive aggressive when it happens, nobody will respect you, which will result in even more questioning; it becomes a vicious cycle.

Lack critical thinking: self explanatory

Picking Other Mods/Admins:

Of course, they should have the qualities listed in “Admin Skills/Requirements”

Have different strengths; get admins that can do things you can’t.

Pick people who think different from you; they’ll approach problems in other ways and thus you’ll be able to see many ways to solve a problem.

Things to be careful/wary and thus prepared about:

Admins/mods bringing in close friends/significant others/etc: Have you ever had an issue where your best friend/significant other in one friend group and your best friend group in another friend group disliked each other? Even if you haven’t, think about all the ways this could turn ugly. Exercise caution.

Be strict about keeping salt/vent posts to one channel: One thing I’ve seen happen is that if there’s already a conversation going in the salt/vent channel, people suddenly think that it’s alright to start venting in another channel. This interrupts learning/relevant conversations in that channel. If it’s not relevant to the channel (a not-spirit work complaint going in a spirit work channel) the salt/vent should not go there. 

Judgement/Discernment: Let’s make an example. Relevant to the previous point, someone is complaining about a problematic spirit in the spirit work channel. Would this fit your server or not? Now for another example. The vent channel is busy right now, so someone goes to the spirit work channel to complain about their human boyfriend. Would this fit your server?

Enforcing Rules/Kicking/Banning People:

Someone doesn’t have to be a Bad Person for you to kick them. Personality conflicts are a perfectly good reason; and often personality conflicts will lead to more drama than being a Bad Person. While it is possible to work it out with them, often reaching that point of needing to find a workaround already shows that there is an issue. If unresolved, more likely one/both/all of the people with clashing personalities will leave. It's also important to respect that people shouldn't have to budge. But hell, sometimes people dislike each other for pure miscommunication reasons; they may grow to truly like each other but be prepared as that’s usually the exception and not the rule.

It’s generally better to PM an iffy person and tell them in private to knock their shitty behavior off rather than embarrass/make an example of them in front of everyone. People are often more willing to coalesce in PMs where they can be personal/private, rather than in public where they must worry about everyone ganging up on them.

Typical, Example Issues You Should Be Ready to Deal With:

Note: This is not like a school test where there are solid right answers. Issues will always be contextual; these are simply some common examples so you’ll know how vague the “right answer” can be. 

-Someone new enters the chat and it’s clear that everyone is uncomfortable around them due to their personalities. But nobody wants to say anything because they want to be nice. How do you resolve this issue? Do you kick/ban the discomforting newbie? Do you PM the newbie one-on-one?

-You invite your best friend/significant other to the chat. However, quite a few people don’t get along with them. It’s reached the point where a number of members want them to leave or will leave themselves. What do you do?

-This person has been in a while, and many people have noticed that they are…rather noticeably immature. You check their blog. You find out they’re a minor. Do you kick them immediately? Do you make sanctions based on their behavior?

-This person has been in a while, and many people have noticed that they are…rather noticeably immature. You check their blog/intro, and find out they’re 30+ and act this way despite their age. They’re older than you. Immediate kick? Do you try to talk to them?

-Your server was previously a flourishing place where conversations could be taken to extreme depth; discussions with many viewpoints and clashing opinions were common, but everyone had the maturity to not take disagreement as a personal offense and this allowed everyone to learn the best. However, ever since some new people entered the server, these discussions have stopped because disagreement/clashing viewpoints offends them. Do you kick these new people? Do you say they can stay, but they have to suck it up (especially since they are adults)?

-Someone is talking about how they had a bad experience with a deity/goetic demon/other Large Spirit, and clearly needs advice/help. Instead, a devotee of that Large Spirit swoops in claiming any/all of the following: “UMMM Large Spirit NEVER does anything wrong!! You’re a terrible person for saying that!”, “It’s impossible for Large Spirit to abuse humans, so you must be imagining things!”, “Large Spirit only does things in someone’s highest good, so you must have done something horrible, meaning you deserved it!” What do you say in response? Do you tell them publicly, or do you PM them? 

-Someone is suggesting that a magical issue correlates with a mental/emotional illness, with no reasoning other than “I believe in this so it must be!!!” Additionally, it’s very clear that they’ve never had any formal education in psychology or at least read legitimate sources (not tumblr posts) on mental/emotional illness issues. Other people are agreeing with them. Do you school them all? Kick em all?

-Drama happened in the server, and it leaked to someone outside of the server who then confronts the person on their blog. Every shred of evidence points to one person leaking the drama, but when you PM that person about it they claim it wasn’t them. Do you kick the person anyways? Do you keep em but maintain a close watch on them?

Variations on the above one: 

Many people believe it was that one person who leaked it as well.

Most people don’t think it was them, but evidence points otherwise. Additionally, that one person is extremely popular and you think people would like you a lot less if you kicked them.

Nobody is able to pinpoint someone; rather, people believe it is one of the many lurkers of the server. However, that’s still quite a few people, and many of them are your friends who haven’t been actively lately and never gave a reason. 

-People have been coming to you in PMs that they believe one of the admins is abusing their power. You agree; you notice they tend to step on others in conversations, use their admin tools to set demeaning roles to people, and other gross things. You decide to PM that admin about it; what will you say? Should you have a kind or firm tone?

Variation: Some brave souls come to you in PMs saying that you have been abusing your power! Are they wrong? What do you do to the people who say so?

Obviously, the issues are not limited to this list.

--------------------------------

As with all of my posts, this will be updated occasionally as I get better info/advice. Always check the permalink for the most recent version. 

Current Version: September 26 2017

[theliterateape]

American Shithole #9 — Robert Mercer, Part One: Cambridge Analytica

By Eric Wilson

In what may prove to be the undercover investigation of the early 21st century, the BBC4 exposé on Cambridge Analytica has blown the roof off a story that had long gone dormant. The hidden camera footage is career-defining, and the transcript reads like the Darwin Awards for Espionage. It’s jaw dropping in scope and stupidity, and it feels a bit like you’re watching two proper devils talk shop in hell.

Posing as potential clients, journalists secretly filmed Cambridge Analytica officials describing how their company rigs world elections. I still can’t believe it — they probably can't believe it — but these sweet BBC geniuses basically Scooby Doo’d Cambridge Analytica. Enjoy your place in the annals of journalistic legend, you deserve it. 

Well done, Shaggy! 

The twitterverse was experiencing twittergasms, as word had gotten out on the segment before it aired. Perhaps it was more of a Twitterquake, as you could feel the tremors across social media in anticipation. In our age of big stories, this was bigger, and you could sense it on Monday morning before the news broke.

As far as the video is concerned, it’s a must watch — one where operatives from Cambridge Analytica, including CEO, Alexander Nix, describe the legal and illegal tactics they use to manipulate supposedly free elections all over the world. Note the calmness with which they speak, it really is captivating in its cold, calculative way.

A second installment of the BBC4 investigation aired a day later, and it brought to light Cambridge Analytica’s critical role in the success of the Trump presidential campaign. They were far from humble. In this hidden camera video Alexander Nix and other CA operatives actually take credit for Trump’s victory. 

It would seem that if there is an election happening, Cambridge Analytica is there — working angles, using sex slaves as honey traps, blackmailing enemies, manipulating big data, all safely from the shadows. Well, it's not so safe in the shadows anymore, Nix.

The BBC isn’t the only one on the case.

While that was amazing work by the team at BBC4, American Shithole has its own crack team of investigative journalists, and our operatives — working deep undercover — were able to procure a top secret list of other gifts and services Cambridge Analytica reserved for its highest paying clients.

Dictators brought to power by Cambridge Analytica may also have received:

1.  Buy 9 elections get 1 free* Customer Loyalty Card.

2.  Subscription to Children’s War Refugee Monthly magazine.

3.  Slovenian Sex Slave First Lady Platinum Upgrade.

4.  Super PAC Mystery Sack!™**

5.  First time dictators received a signed copy of Howard Zinn’s So, You’ve Bought Yourself a Country, Have You?

6.  Handmade Russian lamp for presidential office desk.***

7.  Children’s War Refugee Monthly complimentary pinup calendar.

8.  The American President DVD case with a ripped copy of Wag the Dog inside.

*Please refer to your customer loyalty card owner’s manual for rules regarding free election eligibility. **Super PAC Mystery Sack!™ is a subsidiary of Mystery Sack! International and may contain foreign politics. ***Lamp must be on the desk facing the president at all times.

The one name I was expecting to hear more in the media  this week was Robert Mercer.

Unfortunately, there was little to no mention of the Mercers, as Cambridge Analytica faced a torrential downpour of bad press, day after day. It’s been a fucking shitstorm in the blogosphere on both sides of the Atlantic (more on this later), but the lion’s share of the focus has been on the company and its senior officer, Nix.

It astounds me how this family of billionaires seems to so effectively manipulate their own media presence — even when one of their own companies is embroiled in a scandal involving election tampering, criminal behavior, and international conspiracy.

CNN’s Don Lemon barely mentioned the Mercers by name on Monday, during his interview with the Cambridge Analytica whistleblower, Christopher Wylie — while Steve Bannon, former Mercer lackey and Pigpen from the Upside Down, was mentioned at least a dozen times.

If you are going to talk about a company that was clearly influential in the Trump victory, maybe you should mention the asshole that owns 90 percent of the stock — mega GOP/Trump donor and serious contender for all-time Shitbag of the Universe, Robert Mercer. Or perhaps his daughter, who currently sits on the CA board of directors.

That is some Obi Wan level Jedi mastery right there. These are not the billionaires you are looking for.

But they are the billionaires we are looking for! Here they are behaving terribly, and we as dutiful wealth-worshipping Americans let them get away with it every single time. We let them game the broken system to serve their greed, and strip resources, and ruin communities, and rig fucking elections — and we worship them for the effort.

We allow them to continually commit crimes against humanity, and now we are allowing them to systematically dismantle democracy. Yet somehow we are blinded by their wealth, as if greed were some sort of cherished American virtue, this richness that absolves all sin.

The past few days I’ve looked for news stories on Robert Mercer; passing mentions at best, with very few interviews or articles focusing on the individual  that owns the company that just may be responsible for both Brexit and Trump.

Yes, if you are a little late to this developing story, so was I, but you are reading that correctly.

Cambridge Analytica has also been connected to Brexit, possibly the worst development in the UK in a half-century — that is, if you don’t count the invention of modern-day reality television a development. Thanks, Brits, we took your reality TV, and after over thirty years we have reduced it to what is now a stupefying slog through a kaleidoscope of spirit-dampening white-hot noise and eye vomit.

But I digress.

If a billionaire’s company can orchestrate Brexit and the Trump presidency, via numerous illegal activities — and the billionaire gets away with it — this is a message to all would be tyrants that the upper echelon of the ruling class may do anything they please, with no fear of consequence.

We are talking about crimes with ripple effects so pervasive, so widespread and far-reaching, that it would be impossible to calculate the damage done, or the punishment deserved.

In this humble American’s opinion, anything less than a massive devaluation of the Mercer family, and jail time for both Robert and his diamond-bespectacled harpy of a daughter, Rebekah, would be an invitation to every two-bit, hustler, billionaire tyrant on the planet to treat entire countries like their own personal political stomping ground.

Not that they aren't doing that already.

This might make Robert Mercer the reigning Worst Person on the Planet. I cannot think of two events in recent history that have sown more discord, created more havoc than Brexit and Trump.

I get Mercer isn’t news sexy. I don't want to write about him either — it’s like trying to write negative copy about Mr. Rogers. By comparison, I was chomping at the bit to eviscerate Cambridge Analytica CEO, Alexander Nix. He so plays the part of the Bond Villain to perfection. I imagine he likely has a few rather unpleasant appetites as well. I could write jokes about him for days.

The real villain here though, is Robert Mercer, and by proxy or association, his ogress fishwife of a daughter, Rebekah. Look at the two of them. They look like they’re about to preside over the fucking Hunger Games.

So who is this charming prince, you ask? Tough to say, as he leads a largely private life.

The few that know the reclusive billionaire describe him as a quiet loner. I already see where this is going. He lives with his many cats. Uh-oh. He hates the establishment, and was thoroughly convinced long ago of all the craziest conspiracy theories involving the Clintons. Oh, boy.

And like all billionaires, his power has increased manifold since Citizens United, and Mercer has taken advantage of that, as one of the most generous GOP donors over the last eight years.

What we have is another crazy-rich asshole using his gross overvaluation to fund shadow companies that rig world elections. Including ours. I struggle to find the reasons why we value these billionaire cretins so? 

Is this misguided misanthrope single-handedly responsible for the destabilization of the west? No. Hardly. It’s not for lack of trying though. Mercer's just plodding along, money-murdering everything decent in his path. He’s like Jason Voorhees in a suit.

No, Mercer has plenty of help. There's another name that always seems to turn up whenever you cast light into the shadows. Erik Prince is linked to Cambridge Analytica as well, and at this point I’m no longer surprised to see his name when investigating criminal activity.

I look forward to the day when our value system better reflects the compassion of the species we long to be, versus the greed of the humanity we desperately need to leave behind.   

Mueller’s widening investigation now thankfully includes Cambridge Analytica, and that may finally shed some light onto why certain republicans seem willing to do anything to protect this president. The House Intelligence Committee majority republicans ending their investigation into Russian collusion, risks indictment of collusion itself. We need to discover what kind of pressure has been put on elected officials to get them to risk ruining their careers and lives the way Devin Nunes and the rest of the House Intelligence Committee majority republicans have, with their shameful cowardice.

This is good news, my friends. The brilliant undercover work by the BBC has done more to connect the dots between various forces at play, than any other investigation breakthrough so far. Everything is starting to come into focus — even with the Mercers doing everything they can to keep this out of the media — which means it will be harder for republicans that may have been compromised, to continue to support this morally bankrupt administration.

Also, it might be time to dust off your Myspace account, because Facebook is Face-fucked.

B.S. Report

I wanted to draw attention this week to a story already in the rearview. For whatever reason it was several days before I caught wind that Republican Leslie Gibson had, among other things, dismissed student activist Emma Gonzalez as a “skinhead lesbian.”

For obvious reasons, many in America (such as myself) feel very protective of these kids. I get really fired up about them. I pissed and moaned that I had missed the story, and I was ranting a bit on social media how this asshole Gibson needed a social media handshake, or a nice hello from the world.

It wasn’t an hour later that the universe calmed my sputtering fit. I was informed much had been put in motion, and that Gibson's words had encouraged a challenger for his run for congress (he was running unopposed), and not long after that, he announced he was dropping out of the race.

I thought this deserved more focus for the power of it. The raw power being rightfully transferred from a hateful, bigoted asshole — back to the people, where they would choose to give it to someone worthy. And that is what I am talking about, America!