#i need to know how they made up who apologized did they even apologize or did they ignore it and move on

[babejinxy]

In love with you - part 6

Pairing: Powder x fem!reader

Warnings: friends to lovers, SMUT, kissing, fluff

Synopsis: Powder had been your best friend for years, the two of you met when she was running from the cops when she and her brothers broke into and blew up an apartment in Piltover and you helped them escape. What you never imagined, is that the love of your life was always right there in front of you…

A/N: This is a fic about Powder from the alternate universe, it has nothing to do with Jinx.

🌟 English is not my first language, so I apologize if there are any mistakes.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

💙 @brocoliisscared @bbybubbles @cattjull

Powder was taking her time with you, kissing every part of your body, every little bit of skin, nothing went unnoticed by her lips. “I’ve always wanted you so much babe, sorry if I can’t keep my hands and lips away from you”, she said giving you a peck on the lips. You smiled before saying, “I’m not complaining…”, you lifted your head a little when she went back to kissing your chin and then your neck. “… I’m loving this, but don’t you think it’s your turn now, huh?”, you said still smiling, her breath on your neck tickling your skin.

She let go of your neck just to look at you, “Ok but first, I want to try something,” she said cringing a little, was she getting embarrassed after all?” Alright and what would that thing be?”, you asked, unable to contain your anxiety. Powder brought her face even closer to yours and said, looking into your eyes, “I want to eat you while you ride my face”. For a moment you didn’t know how to react, this was something new for you, as well as for her. You both knew this because of a conversation about sex you once shared and Powder had been thinking about what it would be like to eat you like this ever since, it had driven her crazy for months. Before you could answer anything, she said eagerly, “Please baby, I really want to have you like this… but no pressure, only if you want it too of course.”

Powder was so cute begging you that it was impossible to deny her. Of course you wanted it as much as she did, but the sparkle in her eyes only encouraged you even more. Instead of answering with words, you smiled at her, biting your lower lip and placing your hands on either side of her collarbone and forcing yourself to change positions, getting on top of her. She took your answer as a yes and bit her lower lip. You placed your right leg between hers and pressed your knee into her pussy, still covered by her panties. She bit her lower lip harder and let a soft moan escape her throat.

“I think your panties are ruined, love,” you teased her back to you earlier. But Powder didn’t care and clicked her tongue, “it’s not the first time I’ve wet my panties around you baby, it’s been countless times, I should be ashamed, but you’ve always turned me on… you need to know that when I say I’ve always wanted you badly I’m not kidding… now sit on my face.” Powder’s husky and authoritative voice made you melt like butter, you loved being dominated like this and you couldn’t resist it, your friend knew that and was using it to her advantage, it was a little mean of her, but you loved it.

You bit your lower lip and moved up to her face. Powder, who had her hands on your sides, dragged them down to your bare ass and squeezed a little, making you gasp. You placed your knees on either side of Powder's head and she placed her hands on each of your thighs and spread them, having the perfect view of your swollen pussy right in front of her eyes and that view hit her right in the pussy making it ache with desire. You held the back of the couch with your right hand while resting the other on the arm of the couch, Powder held your waist and adjusted you on top of her, aligning your pussy with her mouth. Her hot breath and breathing hit your bare pussy and made you feel shivers all over your body.

Powder closed her eyes and trailed kisses and bites along the inside of your thighs where her lips reached and kept this up for a few torturous minutes. Your pussy was aching from clenching around nothing and you felt like you were going to go crazy, you needed her mouth on your needy cunt. “You’re warm and soft, do you know that?” she whispered against the skin of your thigh and you shivered and gasped when the tip of her nose brushed against your groin and Powder smiled at your reaction. She pulled you down and you crushed her face beneath you. She pressed a kiss to your wet folds making you squirm a little and you bit your bottom lip.

You moaned loudly as Powder licked your pussy from bottom to top, lingering a little longer on your sensitive clit, sucking it deliciously. “Oh P-Powder,” you moaned, closing your eyes and throwing your head back. Powder tightened her hands on your waist and guided you to ride her face as she ate your pussy with her mouth wide open, her tongue teasing your hole and moving up to lick and suck your clit. The sounds of your moans and sighs mixed with the sounds of her lips sucking on your wet pussy and echoed throughout every corner of Powder's workshop.

Powder licked and swirled her tongue around your bud frantically making you moan even more and roll your eyes back in your head. She swirled her tongue around your clit once more and sucked it between her lips slowly, you looked down and opened your mouth in an “o” shape before throwing your head back again moaning loudly when she did it again. She left your clit only to stick her tongue inside your hole and you choked out a moan at her sudden act.

Now Powder was tongue fucking you as she pulled your hips incredibly closer to her face, her tongue deep in your pussy as she fucked you like this. She stiffened the muscle and pulled it out and thrust it back into you fast and steady and it made you see stars. You started bouncing on her tongue to get more friction and the sounds coming from your pussy were sinful and your moans were uncontrolled. Powder moved her right hand up to your right breast and she groped and squeezed it while still fucking you with her tongue. You gripped the back of the couch tightly and pulled her hair a little from her scalp with your left hand and she moaned a muffled moan between your pussy.

Powder was fucking you so well with her tongue that it was getting hard for you to stay on your knees, you were running out of strength and your body was going soft like jelly, the familiar knot started to tighten in your stomach and you lost your balance, falling forward with a groan, causing your pussy to pull away from Powder's mouth. She immediately grabbed your hips and readjusted you to your previous position, going back to fucking her tongue into your slippery hole. You moaned and grabbed the arm of the couch with both hands, while throwing your head back.

Powder knew you were close to cumming when your walls clamped down on her tongue and it became hard to move it inside your pussy. Your legs began to shake uncontrollably and you began to moan tearful groans as you felt your orgasm coming on strong once again. The blue haired girl grabbed your waist and lifted you up a bit only to bring you back down onto her tongue - which went straight into your sensitive hole - and she guided you like that a few times, “Gosh Powder,” you whimpered in a moan. She held you against her mouth again, holding you firmly at the waist so you wouldn't fall, and fucked her tongue inside your pussy a few more times.

You came hard right into her mouth as you moaned above her. Powder pulled her tongue out of you and drank the cum that dripped from your hole as if she were eating a delicious ice cream - which for her it was. She drank every last drop of your cream and only stopped when you started spasming and whimpering too much from the overstimulation.

“You were so good to me, my sweet girl,” Powder said, kissing the inside of your thigh and helping you get off her face. You fell next to her on the couch, since the space was small you threw your left leg on top of hers and she intertwined it between them. “That was…”, you said with a breathless breath. “Yeah, I know baby,” she replied also breathless. You both stared at the ceiling as you caught your breath, you looked at her to ask, “Have you really never done this before?” She turned her face to look at you, “I’ve never wanted any other girl to ride my face,” she said cringing and a light blush left her cheeks red.

You smiled at her cuteness, lifted your torso, resting your right arm on the arm of the couch, and massaged her belly with your left hand. Your torso was above hers and your breasts were crushed against hers. You took your hand off her belly and wiped the remains of your cum from her mouth and chin with your hand. Powder looked at you as if you were a rare jewel, like a dream that had finally come true. You smiled at each other and you kissed her on the lips. This time the kiss was slow and passionate, Powder didn't fight for dominance and your tongues danced together in perfect harmony. You lowered your left hand to her left breast and massaged it, making her gasp between your lips.

You pulled her lower lip between your teeth and she squeezed your hips in response. You lowered your head to her neck and began to place kisses and bites all over her neck while still groping her breast. “Baby, I’m going to have to make you cum again if you keep this up,” she said between sighs. “None of that, now it’s your turn love,” you said, sucking on the skin below her ear, making her gasp and pull your waist down hard so she could lay you down and reverse your positions, but you didn’t let up this time.

Powder was very restricted with touches, she usually preferred to give rather than receive, but you were the girl who was in her “bed” now and she wanted you in every way possible. You moved your kisses down to her right breast and closed your lips around her nipple, swirling your tongue around it and sucking it between your teeth. Powder bit her lower lip hard and moved her hands from your waist down to your ass where she groped your buttocks and squeezed them and you whimpered into her breast.

“Y/n… I wanna kiss you,” she said softly. You let go of her breast and a string of saliva connected your lips to her nipple, you brought your lips closer to hers and she immediately slammed them against yours pushing her tongue inside your mouth. You were lying on your side next to her on the mattress, your torso was on top of hers and you had your left leg intertwined with hers. You untangled your leg from hers and she spread them on the couch, you placed your left leg - which was previously between hers - over her knee to keep her leg open.

You slid your hand from her breast down the length of her body until you reached the inside of her thigh near her groin and she gasped into your lips, biting your lower lip, making you gasp too. You pushed her panties aside and she sighed deeply when she finally felt free of the sticky fabric. You slipped your fingers into her wet folds and massaged her pussy making her sigh into your lips. You swirled your fingers around her swollen bud slowly and she bit your bottom lip again, this time a little too hard to keep from moaning and you felt the sting and pulled back, letting go of her lips. “S-sorry love,” she said between sighs.

You sped up the movement of your fingers on her clit, rubbing it and tapping it lightly while Powder let out low moans from time to time. Powder raised her torso a little to reach your neck, where she abused your skin a little so she wouldn't moan so much. She bit, kissed and sucked the skin on your neck while you abused her clitoris with your quick fingers and you moaned from time to time when she pulled your skin too hard with her lips and teeth. Unlike her, you were more of a crybaby and the moans that escaped you hit her pussy directly and mixed with the pleasure you were giving her and that only made her hornier.

You kissed her lips and she laid her head back on the pillow as she grabbed your hips. You moved your fingers down from her clit to her hole and slowly inserted your middle finger inside her with ease. You began to slowly move your finger in and out of her hole and she moaned softly. Little by little you inserted a second finger and increased the speed of the movements, rolling them inside her and hitting the right spot, making Powder moan a little louder than she would have liked. You hid your face in her neck and began to leave kisses and light bites on her skin.

Powder moved her hands from your hips to your ass and squeezed your cheeks in response to the movements of your fingers and when you hit the spongy spot inside her again, she arched her hips and bit her bottom lip hard. She slid her hand from your ass and ran her fingers over your swollen, wet pussy and you moaned into her neck increasing the pace of your fingers in her pussy.

You realized that Powder was close to cumming when she started to squeeze your fingers and couldn't help but moan loudly. You had in mind to make her cum on your tongue, just like she did with you. So you pulled your fingers out of her and she whimpered at the lack of them in her pussy. You looked at her and smiled before taking your two fingers in your mouth and licking them, tasting the sweet taste of her. This caused some reaction in Powder by the way her blue eyes sparkled, “ok, that’s enough,” she said pushing your torso down and getting on top of you.

“Hey, I wasn’t done,” you complained and tried to change positions, but Powder held your hips firmly, preventing you from moving. “I know baby, but this isn’t how I want to cum,” she said, letting go of you only to take off her panties. Once again you couldn't help but feel dominated and immediately you felt a burning sensation between your legs and bit your lower lip waiting for Powder's next move. She lay on top of you and caressed both sides of your face with her thumbs, she had a sweet smile on her lips. “I wanna have sex with you love, do you understand?”, she whispered in her husky voice and gave you a peck on the lips.

You smiled, making her smile too, and she kissed the corner of your stretched lip. “What are you waiting for? You have my heart and my consent, forever,” you whispered. Powder's eyes shone even bluer and she smiled before getting off of you and lifting your left leg to her waist, then she adjusted herself between your legs making her pussy rub against yours and you both moaned together. Powder lowered her torso and laid her arms on either side of you on the couch and held your shoulders from behind to gain momentum. You lifted your leg a little higher on her waist and wrapped your arms around her neck.

Before she started moving, she gave you a quick peck on the lips and looked at the red mark of her teeth on your lower lip where she bit too hard earlier, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” Powder was anxious and had a habit of brooding over things, you knew that and you didn’t want her to feel bad just because of that. “It’s okay baby,” you interrupted her and sealed your lips on hers. Then Powder made her first move and her pussy spread deliciously over yours. She slid her pussy against yours in a slow and perfect rhythm, making you moan sweetly and softly between the kiss.

Powder put a little more pressure and accelerated the pace of her hips rubbing her pussy against yours and you opened your mouth breathing heavily just like Powder, her lips brushed against yours with her movements pushing you. She alternated between thrusting and rotating her pussy against yours in a fast and precise rhythm, the friction was perfect and made your clitorises kiss, eliciting moans from both of you.

The blue-haired girl brought her hands to either side of your waist and held you firmly beneath her and sped up the movements of her hips once more. She buried her face in the crook of your neck and kissed your skin hard, biting every now and then. You grabbed her shoulders and squeezed them as you moaned. Powder's breathing on your neck was erratic and panting and sometimes she would let out restrained moans and this only drove you further and further over the edge.

Powder lifted her face and looked at you and the two of you exchanged passionate smiles. You brought your right hand to her face and caressed her reddened cheek with your thumb. She lowered her head to kiss you, but it was hard to keep the kiss with her thrusts pushing you and with the panting breaths of both of you. You raised your back a little and held on to the couch with your right hand while you had your other arm around Powder's neck. Your face was close to hers and your panting breaths tickled each other's skin. You tilted your head back and Powder took the opportunity to kiss your chin and jaw. You fell back onto the couch as you groaned, you couldn't hold it in much longer.

Powder took her left hand off your waist and intertwined her fingers with your right hand's fingers and put a little more strength and agility into the friction, making you moan loudly and a noise came out of her throat as she bit her lip.

Your skins stuck together because of the sweat from your bodies and the wet sounds of skin against skin coming from your pussies together were sinful and echoed throughout the workshop, mixing with your moans and her panting breath in your ear. Powder's clit rubbed against yours frantically and you felt the knot in your stomach tighten for the thousandth time that night. “Oh my god… I.. I’m gonna cum”, you whispered with a broken voice. “Me too baby”. Powder squeezed her fingers in yours and this time it was hard to contain the moans so she let them come out and mix with yours like a melody.

Your legs began to tremble beneath Powder and if it weren't for her weight on top of you, you would be writhing right now. Powder's legs also began to give out, but she held her ground and continued to grind her pussy against yours. Three more thrusts of her pussy into yours and you let out a high-pitched moan and everything around you went white, you came for the third time that night and you had never had orgasms this intense. Powder came right after you when her felt your hot cum dripping from your hole and spreading between your pussies. Now your pussies were sticky with your juices mixed with hers and strings of cum connected your pussies when Powder stopped her thrusts and got off of you falling next to you on the couch.

The two of you were silent for a few minutes as you recovered from your orgasm and calmed your breathing, catching your breath. Your fingers were still intertwined with hers and neither of you had any intention of untying them so you remained like that.

“Hey,” Powder was the first to speak. You turned your face to her and she was already looking at you. “Hey,” you smiled an affectionate smile and she lifted your hands that were joined together and kissed the back of your hand. “What are you thinking about?” she asked, worried that she might have done something wrong. “I’m not thinking about anything, I just… I’m just calm…” you said as you played with her fingers on yours, “…I’m calm in this feeling Pow Pow.” Powder smiled and looked at your lips, bringing her head closer to yours and sealing her lips on yours, in a calm and affectionate kiss.

“What are we now?”, Powder asked, massaging your belly with the hand that wasn’t intertwined with yours. You twisted your lips as if you were thinking, “hm… we’re still best friends I guess, but something more than that too”, you answered smiling and laughing a little. Powder smiled and her eyes were shining, “I wouldn’t let you go for anything in this world girl”, then she once again kissed your lips.

You stayed like that for a few more minutes until you started to feel sleepy. Powder pulled a sheet over the two of you and you settled down on the couch. She reached over and turned off the lights in the workshop, leaving only the blue light from the star projector that formed constellations and illuminated the ceiling, one of Powder's inventions. You were looking at the constellations above you when you heard Powder's hoarse voice talking to you, "I'm so happy... I've never felt like this before, I'm exactly where I wanted to be." You turned your face to her and she was looking up, you didn't say anything. You just smiled and laid your head on her chest and fell asleep. Powder closed her arm around your neck and fell asleep in a peaceful and happy sleep.

Guys, this was supposed to be the last part of this series, but I've been thinking about something that would be cool to continue this... I won't give any spoilers, but I'll let you decide.

Do you want me to continue writing for this series or should I stop here?

[caelisblade]

༉‧₊˚. favorite crime - fushiguro toji

༉‧₊˚. synopsis: one moment, you were doing something as basic as taking out the trash (like, literally), the next moment you were getting fucked by a wanted felon who pretty much broke into your place in hopes you‘d harbor him for a few minutes until the coast was clear. who knew the thrill of crime was so exhilarating you needed a quick one-night-stand to come back to your senses? or did you lose your mind entirely and just didn‘t notice in the process of being fucked into tomorrow?

༉‧₊˚. warnings: you literally f/uck murderer!toji lol, unprotected s/ex, c/unnilingus, f/ingering, he calls you princess (like, a lot of times), toji talks A LOT like dude shut up lmao

༉‧₊˚. this was entirely inspired by a scene in the rookie where lucy made up a cover story for how juicy and dim met, it's basically that but with toji. this is a repost from my jujutsu kaisen blog @/tojisblade. i am currently in the process of combining both of my blogs into one.

he was in so much fucking trouble. 

never did he even think the cops were onto him, god, the fucking cops in plain clothes, they were in the same club he was as he was adding poison into his target’s drink. they literally saw him poison the drink. now they were running after him, trying to catch him. 

toji quickly ran into a massive apartment complex as he tried to flee the scene, the cops nearby behind him. looking around to see if there was anyone or any place he could hide, as he still ran. 

it was like fate when you opened the door, purely by coincidence. you were getting out to take out your trash as you saw him running frantically. “hey, are you oka–“, you started out asking, but got interrupted. 

“listen to me. the cops are after me and i need a hideout. can i stay in for a moment until they leave?”, he said, frantically. 

“w-what?”, you stuttered, completely caught off-guard. 

“fuck, just shut up”, he groaned before he grabbed your wrist and pulled you inside of your apartment. 

“hey! what do you think you’re doing?!”, you exclaimed, still not completely getting what was going on. you had dropped the bag in shock as he pulled you in. 

“shut. up!”, he hissed, looking out of the window, just to see the two cops who were after him walking around the apartment complex with their guns drawn and flashlights turned on as they cleared every corner. “shit.”

he looked around, trying to figure out what he could possibly do with his situation before he finally faced you. “okay, listen. my name is fushiguro toji, and i am being chased by the cops out there. i know, i’m just a stranger, but trust me, i am not going to hurt you, despite how this all seems like, considering the cops are after me.”

“uh… yeah, duh”, you scoffed, rolling your eyes. 

“roll those eyes at me again and i’ll reconsider”, he immediately continued, tone turning threatening almost immediately. “do not fucking interrupt me, princess.”

“fine, talk. you just broke into my apartment, so i do deserve some explanation. start talking, or i’ll kick you out for the cops to find you.”

“and I apologize for the break-in. i swear i don’t plan on hurting you because that is just unnecessary evil, even for me. i just need a couple of minutes here to hide, so that i can run in peace. is that okay?”, toji asked. you were so convinced you had lost your damn mind when you nodded and agreed that he could stay over for a couple of minutes. 

“if the cops knock, i am not here”, toji emphasized again, making sure you got it. you held yourself back from rolling your eyes again. you might’ve needed a moment to understand what was going on, but you were not dumb. 

as if on cue, there was a loud knock, startling you. you stayed quiet as you pointed at the bathroom for toji to hide. your heart was beating so fast, as you went to the door and asked; “who is there?”

“police department. we want to ask you a few questions”, the officer yelled back. 

“can you please identify yourself?”, you stalled as you checked if toji had hidden. you looked through the peephole as the cops held up their detective badges before you smiled softly and opened the door for the cops. 

“what seems to be the problem, detectives?”, you asked gently. 

“we are in search of a murderer going by the name, fushiguro toji. black haired, very tall and muscular. last seen wearing a black t-shirt and blue jeans. he is classified as extremely dangerous. we last saw him entering this apartment complex. have you seen him, by any chance?”, the officer asked. 

you pretended to think a little before you shook your head. “nope. i was actually on my way out to take out my trash so, i was inside the whole time.”

“alright, ma’am, please give us a call if you see or remember anything. would you want us to accompany you when you go outside, in case you don’t feel safe?” one of the two detectives handed you a card with his contact details as he spoke and offered his company. 

you nodded at the offer, tagging along as you took out your trash and thanked the officers for the help. “could you possibly tell me a little about that person you’re looking for? perhaps that will help me with my memory or something i can watch out for in the future?”

“i cannot disclose any details yet as it is an ongoing investigation, however, the current m.o of the suspect is that he uses poison in his victim’s drinks. so, perhaps just watch out for your drink the next time you’re out partying.”

“thank you, officers. i can return to my apartment alone, thank you for the company. i’ll uh… let you know if I see something”, you said goodbye to the officers before turning around. 

“goodbye, ma’am, have a good night”, they said in unison. 

you quickly headed back, your entire body was literally on fire after that short conversation and the fact that you were literally harboring a felon – a literal murderer – in your apartment had you shaking to your core. once you locked your apartment and made sure the cops were gone, you were suddenly pushed to the wall next to the door. “good girl. you did great”, Toji had you cornered, smirking at you as you looked at him with big eyes, shocked by his sudden action. 

“thank you”, you whispered back, not trusting your own voice. the little nickname caused you to subconsciously clench your legs together. his arm was over your head on the wall, cornering you between his huge body and the wall. “you’re not so bad yourself. out on several murder charges, huh?”

“so, you asked about me, didn’t you?”, toji chuckled, biting his lip. “yeah… what about it? you scared?”

“i should be, shouldn’t i? but god, it makes you oddly attractive and interesting. so, tell me, what is that all about?”, you ask then, a little smile sneaking onto your lips. “a murder suspect in my apartment, who insists on promising me that he won’t hurt me, hm?”

“attractive and interesting?”, Toji chuckled. “i may or may not have added some extra ingredient to some dickhead’s drink.” He casually shrugged, eyeing you up and down. 

“so, that was why they said to be careful of my drinks next time i’m out partying, huh?”, you replied. 

“i would never add some additional ingredient to your drink, princess”, toji taunted before he suddenly leaned in and kissed you. you couldn’t help but immediately melt into him, arms wrapping around his neck, as his one hand wrapped around your thigh and lifted it up around his hip. 

everything felt so surreal. one moment you were literally taking out your trash, the next you were not only harboring a murderer in your apartment, but also about to fuck him.

the kiss was so full of fire, so much passion and there was nothing but carnal desire and need – it was like the fact that he was a murderer, a wanted felon, flew right over your head. you simply couldn’t care less about it because, fuck, the entire situation was so incredibly hot, the fact that the cops were still around searching the premises was making you feel so tingly. 

“mhm, princess, you taste so sweet. i wonder if your pussy tastes just as sweet, hm?”, he whispered against your lips, smirking. “will you let me have a taste?”

“maybe… but maybe i won’t. you’ve got to earn it, mister.”

“what a tease, princess. but you know what, you shouldn’t tease me, because believe me, i can do better than that”, he continued, before he leaned back in to kiss you once more as you grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his head, your eyes going up and down over his very toned and muscular body. 

and you felt so insanely lucky to think about the fact that his body would be on top of you or underneath you in just a couple of minutes. 

“so, you wanna move this over to the bedroom or are you not that much of a gentleman and just fuck your women against a cold ass wall?”, you giggled.

“oh, I sure as hell do not keep my women cold and standing, mh? wouldn’t be so fair if i fuck you into oblivion and don’t give you a comfortable place to come down from the highs i give you, hm?”

“someone’s cocky. but alas, unfortunately, there has been nothing but talk so far, honey”, you reply, giggling before you squealed in shock as he lifted you up over his shoulder. 

“where’s the bedroom, princess?”, he asked, voice rough. “need to teach you how to properly speak to me before i reward you with pleasure you have never felt in your life before.”

when you pointed to the room, he immediately went in and dropped you onto your bed, quickly climbing onto you, practically ripping apart your clothes. “god, princess, you’re so hot, so gorgeous underneath me”, he groaned, lips wandering down to your tits before he wrapped them around your one nipple, sucking and licking over the sensitive nub. your body arched into him as you let out a whine and toji smirked, enjoying the way you responded to his touch. 

“reacting so fucking perfectly for me, princess. can’t wait to get a taste of your pretty pussy”, he teased. “did i earn it yet, princess?”

you nodded frantically. “fuck, just get to it”, you whined. 

“so bossy, princess. such a good little slut for the murderer you harbored in your home and protected without knowing what dangers could possibly await you”, he snickered, “does it excite you? knowing you lied to cops for me, for someone you don’t even know? for the murderer you’re about to fuck?” toji’s lips wandered down your body, slowly reaching your pussy and he pulled your panties aside to lick over your clit, flattening his tongue over your folds as he spread your legs apart with his hands. 

“fuck don’t stop!”, you cried out, back arching again into his grip around your waist. 

he looked up at you, smirking as some saliva was running down his chin, and he was watching your every reaction. toji had grown obsessed with how well you reacted to his touch, his tongue over your pussy, his lips sucking on your clit. “reacting so prettily for me, princess. want more? want me to fuck you? i’ll bring literal heaven to you, princess. if you let me.”

you were nodding once again, fingers buried in his hair as he lowered his head back again to your pussy and you felt two of his fingers against your entrance, slowly slipping in and fingering you slowly. your eyes widened in surprise, you let out a choked sob as his fingers hit your sweet spot – you cried out as he continued with the constant stimulation. 

“please, toji, fuck me, please?”, you whined, attempting to pull him closer back on top of you. however, he was obviously way stronger than you and could stay where he was with no trouble at all. 

“it’s rude to interrupt a man while he’s eating, princess”, he grunted, “let me make you cum first on my mouth, princess, then i’ll fuck you.”

you whined as he increased his finger’s pace, continuing the sweet torture on your pussy with his lips as well and your hips were jolting up as you got closer to your release. a cry left your lips as you begged him not to stop and felt him smirk against your clit, promising not to stop until you came for him. 

it didn’t take too long for him to fulfil that promise. the way everything practically shattered around you had you thinking about the last time you had felt this much pleasure at once. “holy shit”, you choked up. “that was… intense.”

“told you, princess, i’ll bring literal heaven to you”, he smirked, slowly climbing on top of you and watching you come down from your high. “did i keep my promise, princess?”

“you sure as hell did. but…”, you wrapped your arms around his neck as you pulled him closer for a kiss, “if you don’t put that damn cock of yours inside me anytime soon, i bet the cops will be very interested in knowing where you’re hiding.”

“you little minx… don’t worry, princess. i gave you a promise and i intend to keep it. you’re about to have the most intense night of your life.”

as he pulled down his jeans, your eyes widened as you saw his cock’s girth and length. you had already assumed that he was big, considering his big ass ego, but you didn’t expect this. he noticed your hesitation and laughed lightly. “don’t worry, princess, i won’t hurt you.”

“you’re a wanted criminal, do you think I trust your word?”

“i promised i wouldn’t hurt you and i kept that promise. i told you i would bring you to heaven and i did keep that promise, too, didn’t i?”

you considered his arguments and shrugged. he had a good point with that. 

“so, do you believe me when i tell you i won’t hurt you?”

You nodded. 

he smiled softly at you before he aligned his tip with your entrance, pulling your panties aside once more and finally, pushed his cock inside slowly, inch by inch, slowly getting you used to his size. your back arched when he was buried inside of you fully, a tear rolling down your cheek as your body was basically on fire. 

“you’re so tight, princess, feels so good”, he groaned, waiting for a moment to let you adjust to the stretch. “can’t wait to fuck this tight and perfect pussy of yours.”

“please, fuck me”, you whimpered, nails raking over his back as he slowly started a tender, gentle pace and before you knew it, he was starting to build a merciless, brutal rhythm, making your tits bounce with the frantic way he was thrusting into you.

the sound of his hips snapping against yours had your eyes rolls back, your legs were wrapped around his waist as you held onto him and you were pleading him not to stop, practically crying and he fucked you so good like you never had been before. 

“goddamn it, princess, you’re so fucking hot when you get fucked like this. do you like how i fuck you, hm?”, he rasped, lips wandering over your neck. His hips stuttered as pleasure like he never felt before coursed through his body, getting closer and closer to the edge. “i’m going to cum, princess, where do you want me to cum, hm? on your pretty tits? in your mouth, so you’ll have to swallow every single drop? or maybe inside of your tight, perfect pussy, hm? give you a good old load of me and make you feel it drip down your thighs when i pick you up and fuck you against the wall over there?”

his words had your eyes roll back at the visual. “please, inside”, you whined, sobbing as you clenched around him and finally reached your peak, coming around him again, sputtering in pleasure. “fuck, toji”, you practically wailed. 

“am i keeping my promise, princess?”

“yes, fuck, you are, stop asking me that and cum in me”, you groaned in annoyance. 

“still so bossy, princess”, he laughed before he continued his rough pace and shortly after let out a choked breath, hips stilling as he came inside of you. toji wasn’t moving at all, trying to come down from his high while he relaxed his body. “fuck, princess, you feel so incredible.”

“oh, fuck, this was better than anything i have ever felt before.”

“i’m glad i got to prove to you how good i can fuck you”, he chuckled, slowly pulling out of you and laying down next to you. 

“hey, i thought you were going to fuck me against the wall and have your cum drip down my thighs?!”

“you wanna go again?”

“hell fucking yes”, you snorted and squealed when he got up on his feet and pulled you up before pushing you against the wall, lifting your legs around his waist as he kept you up against the wall and quickly slid his cock back inside of you, fucking you again and bringing you to yet another earth-shattering orgasm and another one. 

and the most exhilarating part of this was that you could hear the detectives through the thin walls, discussing their next move to finally find the guy who currently had his cock buried deep inside of you. 

the one who you had lied to the cops to, making you an accessory to the murder he had committed.

but you couldn’t care less about it, because goddamn, this was the best fuck you had gotten in your entire life. 

[thomamaru]

Drench in Apologies (Chapter 3)

Synopsis: Just one little text from him was enough to crumble down any healing progress you made. Now, there he was, standing in the rain. You still stood your ground and didn’t let yourself get swayed by his attempts to apologize.

Tags: Rin Itoshi x gn!reader, angst, fighting but not too intense, fluff at the end

previous chapter

The sound of relentless rain echoed through the streets as Rin stood in front of your apartment building, soaked to the bone.

His breathing was labored, each breath heavy with the weight of regret that had been gnawing at him since he saw you at the restaurant—with Sae.

That image hadn’t stopped replaying in his mind, each loop sharper than the last.

His fists trembled at his sides as his teal eyes fixed on your door. This wasn’t how he imagined things between you would ever end up. But he wasn’t about to let it end like this.

Not when every step of his journey, every ounce of his determination, had you at the heart of it.

When you opened the door, you were startled to see Rin standing there, drenched. For a moment, the sight of him rendered you silent, your chest tightening at his disheveled appearance.

But then the reminder of the months of emotional turmoil he had put you through came crashing down, hardening your expression.

“What are you doing here?” you asked coldly, the chill in your tone matching the weather outside.

“I need to talk to you,” Rin said, his voice low but urgent. “Please.”

The word please carried more weight than you thought it would. Rin wasn’t the type to plead. But the bruises on your heart were still raw, and even now, you weren’t ready to give him the benefit of the doubt.

“I don’t have anything to say to you, Rin. Go home.”

“I can’t,” he replied almost instantly, stepping closer but not enough to breach your space. “I… I can’t leave things like this.”

The storm inside you matched the one outside as you fought to stay resolute. “Now you can’t? After months of ignoring me, brushing me aside like I didn’t exist? You don’t get to decide when we talk, Rin. It doesn’t work like that.”

Rin flinched, your words hitting harder than he had anticipated. He nodded stiffly, water dripping from his bangs. “You’re right. I… I don’t deserve to be here. But I need you to understand—”

“No,” you interrupted sharply, stepping back as he tried to step forward again. “You don’t get to walk back into my life and think a simple explanation will fix everything.”

Rin stayed rooted to the spot, guilt weighing him down. “I know I hurt you,” he said softly, his usually composed voice trembling. “I didn’t mean to. I thought I was doing the right thing. I wanted to focus on training, to be stronger for you—”

“For me?” you cut him off, bitterness rising in your throat. “Don’t put this on me, Rin. If it was for me, you would’ve let me in instead of shutting me out. You didn’t even care about how I felt. Did you even think about how I spent weeks wondering why you suddenly stopped trying? Why you started to treat me like I didn’t matter?”

Rin’s fists clenched tightly, his nails biting into his palms. “I did care. I cared so much that it drove me insane. I felt like I wasn’t good enough—that I wasn’t giving you what you deserved. And the only way I knew how to fix that was to focus on being better at everything. I thought I’d lose you if I didn’t.”

“Rin,” you said quietly, your voice thick with unshed tears. “You lost me anyway.”

The words hung between you like a lead weight, crushing whatever fragile hope Rin had carried with him to your doorstep. He opened his mouth to respond but found himself speechless, every word dying before it could leave his lips.

You turned away, arms wrapping around yourself like a shield against the cold. “Do you know how hard it was for me to see you at that match? To call out your name and hope you’d finally look at me the way you used to? I’ve spent months convincing myself that maybe I was the one who failed. Maybe I didn’t support you enough or didn’t try hard enough.”

Rin’s hands reached out but dropped back to his sides, his voice thick with regret. “You never failed me. I failed you.”

You shook your head, bitterness creeping into your tone. “What’s worse is that after everything, the only reason you’re here now is because you saw me with your brother. What was it, Rin? Jealousy? Possessiveness? Or did Sae finally show me the kind of attention you should’ve been giving all along?”

Rin’s face twisted, a mixture of guilt and anger flashing in his eyes. “Don’t say that.”

“Why not?” you challenged, meeting his gaze head-on. “It’s true, isn’t it? You didn’t care until someone else looked at me.”

“That’s not why I’m here,” Rin said firmly, his voice cracking under the strain. “I’m here because I can’t stand the thought of losing you completely. Because I—” He broke off, exhaling shakily. “Because I still love you.”

Your heart clenched at his confession, but the sting of the past months didn’t let you soften just yet. “If you really loved me, Rin, you wouldn’t have treated me like an afterthought.”

Thunder rumbled in the distance as the tension between you reached its peak. The rain had seeped into your entryway, water pooling around Rin’s feet, but neither of you cared.

Rin ran a hand through his damp hair, frustrated beyond measure. “I know I messed up. I was so focused on beating Sae and Isagi that I didn’t realize I was losing the most important person in my life. I… I got caught up in my own selfishness, and I’m sorry. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’m willing to spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”

His words broke something inside of you—months of built-up anger and sadness dissolving into bittersweet pain.

Before you could reply, Rin suddenly stepped closer and cupped your face with both hands, his thumbs brushing away the tears that had started to fall. “Please,” he whispered. “Just let me prove to you that I can do better. That I will do better.”

You opened your mouth to speak but froze when Rin leaned down, capturing your lips in a desperate kiss.

It wasn’t like the soft kisses from your earlier days together. It was raw and urgent, filled with the emotions he couldn’t put into words.

For a moment, you let yourself sink into it, the warmth of his lips reminding you of everything you had once loved about him.

When Rin pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his eyes filled with unspoken promises. “I know it’ll take time for you to trust me again. And I’ll wait however long it takes. But please, just give me the chance.”

You exhaled shakily, your heart torn between the ache of betrayal and the hope of rekindling what you’d lost. “It’s not going to be easy, Rin.”

“I don’t want easy,” he said softly. “I just want you.”

The road ahead wouldn’t be simple, but as Rin pulled you into a tight embrace, you felt a small flicker of hope.

Maybe, just maybe, the pieces of your shattered relationship could be mended. And even if it took time, you were willing to try.

---

Rin wasn't known for surprises, which was why you did a double-take when you opened your front door to see him standing there with flowers in his hands.

"Hey," he greeted casually, but the faint dusting of pink on his cheeks betrayed his usual composed demeanor. He held out the bouquet—your favorite flowers, no less—looking everywhere but at you as he handed them over.

"Rin..." Your voice trailed off, surprise evident in your tone as you accepted the bouquet. They were fresh, vibrant, and so thoughtful it almost didn’t seem real.

"They’re for you," he clarified needlessly, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets and shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

A small laugh bubbled up from your chest as you brought the flowers to your nose, inhaling their scent. "Thank you. I wasn’t expecting this at all."

He shrugged as if brushing it off, but you caught the slight upward twitch of his lips. "I thought you deserved it. Can I come in?"

You stepped aside, gesturing for him to enter. Rin walked in, taking his usual spot on your couch, his body language relaxed yet hesitant, as if unsure of what to say or do next. You quickly placed the flowers in a vase, letting the water fill as you sneaked occasional glances at him.

When you returned, he was looking out the window, the soft glow of the room's light illuminating his sharp profile. He seemed far away for a moment before he turned to you, his expression unreadable.

“You’ve been doing okay, right?” he asked suddenly.

The question caught you off guard. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

He exhaled through his nose and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “I just... I know the last few months weren’t great. I wasn’t great.”

You sat next to him, setting the vase of flowers on the table. The distance between you was minimal, the warmth of his presence a familiar comfort.

“Rin,” you began softly, “we’ve been over this. You don’t have to keep apologizing for the past. We’re here now, aren’t we?”

“I know,” he said, his voice a little sharper than intended. His jaw tightened, but he softened quickly, his head dipping. “But I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for how I made you feel.”

You tilted your head, trying to catch his gaze. “Then don’t make the same mistakes again. That’s all I want.”

For a moment, the room was filled with the sound of the rain tapping against the window. Rin straightened slightly, his fingers brushing the edge of his knee nervously. He finally met your eyes, the intensity in them making your breath catch.

“I won’t,” he promised, his voice quieter now but filled with conviction. “I’ll do better. For you.”

There was something so sincere in the way he said it that your chest ached—not from sadness, but from how much you cared for him.

“Good.” You smiled softly. “Because I’m not giving you an out next time.”

He chuckled, the sound low and rare. “Duly noted.”

You settled back against the couch, your shoulder brushing against his. For the first time in a long while, it felt like the air between you two wasn’t heavy with words unsaid or hurt feelings lingering in the background.

As the rain outside slowed to a drizzle, Rin’s hand slipped across the space between you, brushing against yours before interlocking your fingers. The action was so simple yet felt so significant.

“You know,” he murmured, leaning back against the couch and looking toward the ceiling, “picking those flowers wasn’t easy.”

You raised an eyebrow, amused. “Oh? Did you agonize over it for hours?”

His lips quirked in a faint smirk, the usual Rin humor breaking through. “Let’s just say I asked someone for help, and it was a mistake.”

You laughed at his exasperated expression. “Well, they’re perfect. And honestly? I’m impressed you even thought to bring flowers.”

“Don’t get used to it,” he replied, though the corner of his mouth twitched upward in a smile. “Special occasion.”

“And what’s the occasion?” you teased, leaning into his side slightly.

He turned his head to you, his gaze softer now. “You.”

The single word hung in the air, your heart skipping a beat as warmth flushed through your chest. You felt his fingers squeeze yours, grounding you in the moment.

“I’m really glad we’re okay again,” you whispered.

“Me too,” Rin admitted, his voice quiet yet steady. His head tilted to the side as he looked at you. “I’ll do whatever it takes to keep it that way.”

And as he sat beside you, fingers intertwined with yours and the soft rhythm of the rain outside, you felt it too—peace, understanding, and the comfort of knowing he wasn’t going anywhere. Rin Itoshi was here, now, with you. And this time, he wasn’t letting go.

Notes: last parttt, thank you so much for the support i'm crying btw I'm accepting any request, any character will <33

Taglist: @hotdogkongmalaki @mitsurimoshi @rroxii @x-vivi-v @ash1 @kimura-uzuri

[usagiarchive]

angel of the codeine scene — [05] mist flower corolla

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"I feel sick, and I know that I'll lose, but it's not living, if it's not with you,"

sypnosis. [ 1.6k words. angst + fluff at the end. ] — a confrontation, a consultation, and a confession.

usagi's note: hi! so the last few weeks have been sooo long, i took my college exams then had to attend multiple classes and events, it's been tiring, but hey here's an update ^^

His words are forgotten the moment you see him fall on his knees.

Despite Paimon’s protests, you skid down the hill as fast as you can. From the distance, you can see that the traveller doesn't know what to do, she sets Xiao down on a boulder and leaves to finish the job.

When you reach him, his eyes are bloodshot, he's having trouble breathing, and there's black gel-like substances streaking from his mouth.

“Xiansheng, are you alright?”

Weakly, he turns to you, then calls the traveller's name.

“Lumine,”

She turns to him as she finishes the last of the hillichurls.

“Get her away from me.”

A series of “what”s resounded, a surprised one from the traveller and her companion, and a hurt one from you.

“... Can't… handle it, her… body, call for … -ngli…” he heaves.

“What? Xiansheng- no!” you yell in confusion as she seemed to understand whatever it was he said and grabbed a hold of your arm to get you somewhere safe.

“It's his karmic debt,” she explains, “It's not safe for humans-”

“I know what karmic debt is,” you try to get out of her hold, “I'm not human!”

You successfully pry her hands off of you and run back to Xiao, his breathing has diminished even more.

“Get… -way… me,” he says weakly and you can't focus on how you feel that sinking feeling in your stomach again, not right now.

Please, please, let this work, you pray as you take a hold of Xiao’s body and close your eyes. The traveller had tried to yank you back but stopped in awe.

A bright light emitted from you and the wind began to swirl. She couldn't pry your hold off of Xiao even if she tried, it was like your hold had welded with him.

If anything, she was more in awe as she watched the light from you travel through Xiao's body, making it seem like it was travelling under both your skins, through your veins, from you to him.

Xiao squinted at the brightness but the traveller could see the color in his face come back.

When your light faded, you collapsed onto Xiao who had caught you. It was as if nothing had happened to him, he could breathe properly now and he didn't feel like throwing up.

He calls your name and shakes you.

Once.

Twice.

You weren't responding.

Xiao pulls you away from him and you still aren't responding. In a panic, he calls for Rex Lapis, an emergency summons.

The Archon reveals himself in no less than three seconds. The moment he lays eyes on you unconscious in the Yaksha’s arms, he takes you from him.

Xiao doesn’t know what to say and he just looks at his God with a helpless and shocked look as he stares back with… disappointment…

He swallows.

“Come, Alatus, we have much to talk about,”

…

Shame is the only thing Xiao feels as he enters Rex Lapis’ teapot. He looks at your unconscious body in his God’s arms and he feels shame.

He doesn't know what happened, he tried to protect you from his karmic debt, but he really doesn't know what happened.

Morax lays your body to rest beside him as he rests your head on his lap.

“Take a seat, Alatus,”

He takes a seat facing his God, “Is she… going to be alright?” he asks, tentatively.

Morax nods, “Her body just couldn’t handle the process of healing you, it’s… new to her you see,”

He nods slowly, eyes still on you.

“Did you know she was made specifically for you?”

“My lord?”

He sighs, “She was created for you, her purpose is to alleviate your pain,” he looks at him and a beat passes in silence, “Your karmic debt.”

“I hadn’t meant to keep it from you…”

“No, I understand,” he tells him, “But you mustn’t underestimate me, either,”

“I apologize, Morax,”

“No need for that, just take care of those I give you,” he says and pets your head.

“She was made for you,” he repeats, “But her support does not come easily,”

Xiao tilts his head and he continues.

“Even an Archon has limits,” he admits, “there must be balance to the universe,”

“A give and take,” Xiao fills in.

Morax smiles sadly as he looks down at your unconscious form, “I made her in the likeness of Guizhong, she provided me a reprieve from the expectations on my shoulders during the war,”

“A solace, if you will,” the hand over your head then glows bright yellow and orange, a manifestation of the Archon's powers, “But that solace did not come easy, Guizhong had me earn her trust,”

The light fades out and the color comes back to your face, yet you still lie unconscious.

“She only needs rest, worry not,” his Lord assures him.

“My point, Alatus, is that you have to prove to her that you are someone she can trust, too,”

“Why?”

“Because the war is over, Xiao, there is no need to be tense all the time, people can be trusted once more, and she will not fall like the others,” Morax tells him in such a tender voice, as if he, too, remembers his own time at war.

“You can rest easier at night, warrior of mine, the war is over.”

The war is over.

…

You don't wake for a day.

The moment you do, you find yourself in your room in Wangshu Inn and Morax-shen is the first one that greets you.

“How are you feeling, little adeptus?” he asks as he sets tea in front of you. It was an ironic sight. The healer being taken care of.

“I am fine, Morax-shen,” you say and thank him as you drink from the cup.

“Where is Xiansheng?”

He hums, “Alatus is on a mission right now, you mustn't worry about him,”

“But the contract…?”

“I've made a few adjustments to it, do not worry about him,” he says, whatever those adjustments were, he does not explain.

He drinks from his own cup, “How is your progress with Alatus?”

You purse your lips and think, “Well, xiansheng has been… less receptive to my care, but he's allowed me to treat minor wounds, scratches and the like,”

“I see… and earlier?”

Ah, he was referring to that.

“The first time I've tried,”

The corner of his lips turn, “I am proud of you for taking initiative,” a hand meets your head and ruffles your hair, you smile in pride.

Xiansheng never does that.

“Why not?”

Oh- I said that out loud.

“Um well… xiansheng tends to keep a distance from me,” you confess, your hands curling up the blankets, “At times, it seems that he takes care of me more than I do him, he treats me like I'm… human. I feel useless, like I'm not helping him enough,” you sigh.

“It's normal to feel that way, do not fret,”

Zhongli puts his own cup down.

“Xiao has been… devoid of human contact for a long while, especially after the Cataclysm, he has become somewhat of a recluse,”

“This has changed slightly with the arrival of the traveller,”

“Lumine…”

“Yes, Lumine, she has helped Xiao with his duties in protecting Liyue a while back, she has also helped Xiao in personal matters,”

“Seems they're closer than I thought,”

Zhongli takes note of your reaction to the information and sips on his tea.

“They are, the traveller has helped Xiao become more receptive to human contact,”

“I see…”

“Ah, that aside,” Zhongli says, taking the hint to change the subject when he notices your increasing disinterest and how you look like you're thinking deeper.

“I'll explain the observed effects of your abilities from Baizhu,”

…

It was past midnight when you heard the familiar thump from outside your window.

Still, with all the recent events and the information you've learned from Zhongli, you keep your eyes closed.

You feel, rather than hear, Xiao walk towards you, his hand coming up to your forehead, probably to check if your fever has still kept you.

(According to Zhongli-shen, your fever has been alarmingly concerning when he first held you, it was as if you had a passionate flair while having a pyro vision.

“Had I not encased you in crystal, you might've combusted from the heat you were emanating,” he says.

You then notice the wilted mist flower corollas surrounding the room. All exhausted from their coolness.

“Thankfully, Baizhu-yisheng had been quick enough to send their supplies and provide the appropriate aid,”)

Still, you kept your eyes closed, afraid to face him.

Afraid of what exactly? you ask yourself.

“I am glad you are having a dreamless sleep,” he murmurs in the quiet of the night.

When his hand leaves your head, your eyes open, just enough to catch him sneaking out the window.

“Xiansheng…”

His head turns.

He steps down from the window and walks toward you. Wordlessly, your hand raises and his lower down to meet yours.

His eyes don't leave yours until your thumb circles his knuckles, his eyes look down to your intertwined hands, then back up to you.

His other hand rests on top of your head then slides down to cup the side of your face.

Your eyes are locked on him.

It was so soft you had no idea it happened.

Your eyes fluttered close and you squeezed his hand.

Xiao leaned lower, pressing his lips a bit deeper.

As he pulls away, his forehead rests on yours, your eyes still closed as you sigh against him.

He pulls back a bit and watches your eyes flutter open and meet his immediately.

“Xiansheng…?”

He's quick to pull you into him, his head resting in yours as you slot perfectly into the slope of his neck.

“Don't go where I can't follow,” he murmurs with more emotion than you've ever heard from him, “Don't leave me again,”

You can only nod against his skin, his hand resting on the back of your head to keep you close.

…

Again…?

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usagi's note: hey! so i added a note at the start and one at the end, im experimenting with my layouts once again! so yeah! also agalaea has been so pretty im def gonna pull for her and for furina cons ^^

taglist (open! green can't be tagged): @irenedoesthings @cherrysnows @makuzume @smoochi-modest @bvtterflyyy @original-person @aphxdea @iratempestatis @constellationguy @lloversss

@usagiarchive 2024. do not repost, translate, or use for AI. reblogs, likes, and comments are very appreciated!!

[ganeshpnf]

"Athena doesn't love Annabeth"

Meanwhile:

Annabeth openly states how her mother guided her when she was 7

She gave her an invisibility hat that saved her multiple times

She broke the rules and helped Percy on their quest so they can save her daughter

She openly said she doesn't approve Percy's and Annabeth's friendship because she thought Percy is dangerous for Annabeth bcs of his fatal flaw. "And now my daughter."

She openly said how much she is proud of her daughter to the council twice

She gifted her daughter with her biggest wish, made her the architecture of Olympus

She approved Percy's wish first because she WANTED to do better and thought ignoring kids is unwise

Arachne literally wanted to kill Annabeth so much because she was her favourite and most gifted child, she SAID it would cause her so much pain

She accepted Percy and helped his quest in the Chalice of the gods for Annabeth's sake, because she didnt want her to be upset and wanted her happiness

Athena openly praising Annabeth and saying she is so thankful to have her:

Now, I want to make clear that Athena is NOT the best parent, she is not. She is just like other gods, she made mistakes. Some parts she was better, like she claimed all her kids as babies, never left an unclaimed. Some parts, she was guilty for being too prideful, which is a fatal flaw passed to her kids.

For Minerva, people love to blame Athena but we forget how different they are, they are not the same goddess. They are different, just like Ares and Mars. Minerva gave her the mark, she said how much she was a dissapointment, Minerva did, she didn't even know who Annabeth was, she was literally losing her mind in there. Annabeth didnt understand what was going on in that time, she was confused as well. Still, I believe Athena needs to talk to Annabeth, apologize, even in Minerva's behalf, Im sure they made up but I wish we could have seen it. Its Rick's bad writing :(

BUT-She is not the worst parent as fans ramble about, she LOVES Annabeth, she LOVES her kids. That is also very clear in the books.

Justice for Athena 🥲

[spencersbabymama]

Numbers l Chapter Three

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Disabled OC

Content Warning: Disability, negative self talk, blushing Spencer, talk of bizarre piercing fetish

Word Count: 1.6k

Summary: Brooke is thrust into work and it's not exactly what she expects.

Taglist: @just-call-me-by-yn @esote-rika

A/n: Thank you all for reading so far! Working on this fic has really made me fall in love with writing again 🩷🩷🩷 Also again, credit to @just-call-me-by-yn for always making my banners! I love you!

Story:

Luckily, Hotch had apparently worked closely with Penelope to explain the adaptive tech I use to run a pc efficiently.  So now I was helping her rummage through my backpack.  I have to admit watching her pull out various tangled plugs was an entertaining sight.  At first I wanted to apologize for not having my equipment more organized, but Penelope was so proud of herself every time she untangled a new wire. It was like a game to her.  

While that fiasco was going on, out of the corner of my eye I noticed Spencer dragging his finger down each page of the case file then turning each page about every 15 seconds.  His eyes tracked each word at lightning speed.  Honestly it looked like when a kid pretends to read to get it over with.  I know I should probably just leave him be, but my curiosity outweighed manners.  My eyebrows furrow in his direction “Are you really reading that fast?”

His head snapped up to look at me “Hm?” He looked confused at first but after a second he let out a small laugh under his breath like he was a little embarrassed and nodded softly “Yeah…”

My mouth opened to ask obvious follow up questions, like most notably, how on earth is that even humanly possible? But I was quickly cut off.

Spencer cleared his throat before continuing “Actually our conscious minds can process 16 bits of information per second, while our unconscious mind can process 11 million.  So to answer your question, yes I really can read this fast.”

There goes my stunned face again and I blinked at the guy for a moment.  I wasn’t sure if I should be disturbed, or wildly impressed by this guy’s smarts, I was mostly in awe. He was like a human computer.  I like computers, so we’ll probably get along.  

My face softened and I giggled softly “Cool.”

That same pink tint creeped across Spencer’s cheeks as he smiled, then went back to reading the case file.

Did this guy ever get complimented?  This was the second time he blushed in my direction and I wasn’t sure what I was doing to cause it.  Honestly it was kind of… cute in a boyish kind of way.

“Ah ha!” Penelope cheered, making me turn around to see her proudly displaying all my equipment set up.  

I smiled and guided my wheelchair up to the desk, making sure everything I would need is plugged in.  Although there was probably no need to doubt Penelope, her portion of the desk had three separate monitors she had to run, a few plugs were most likely nothing to her.

Penelope hung my backpack on the back of my wheelchair before taking her seat next to me “Should we take this for a spin?” She grinned.

I smiled back, unable to hide my eagerness to get started.  Penelope handed me the small mouse that fits in my hand along with the touchpad keyboard and I signed into my system for the first time.

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

Snapshots of different message exchanges appear on my screen.  It took a little bit of time, but after about an hour, Penelope, Spencer, and I managed to find one common person all the missing women have had contact with.  Their username was Hotrod94, if that doesn’t scream man who thinks he’s a gift from God I don’t know what does.  The back and forth text exchanges stopped completely within 3 days so the timeline fit.  Now us 3 were looking through each conversation for any info we could find that could tell us anything about where these women could be, or who took them.

Each message seemed normal, too normal.  It was almost haunting how the person on the other side of the screen could sound so charming.  No matter how smart or vigilant these women were, they didn’t have a chance.

“These poor girls had no idea what they were walking into…” Penelope sighed under her breath.  I could hear the empathy and hopelessness she was feeling for these women on the screen.

I couldn’t help but feel it myself.  It was one thing to talk about it, but looking into the eyes of each woman now, only made the urgency to find them stronger.  During training they tell you don’t get emotionally involved, don’t let yourself go there.  It will cloud your judgment.  Sure, most of that is true, but now that I was here, empathy is what was pushing me.

Spencer stuck his head between us to get a better look at the screens.  His eyes squinted like he was trying to focus on something.  You didn’t have to look at him hard to see the hamsters running on a wheel in his head.  With that brain of his, those hamsters were probably running a marathon at lightning speed.  The poor creatures probably don’t know what rest even is.

His face was only a few inches from mine but for some unexplainable reason, he felt closer.  It was like my personal bubble doubled in size to fit him inside.  My gaze kept flickering in his direction before I realize what I’m doing and my attention goes back to the screen in front of me.  That cycle went on about 3 times before Spencer finally spoke.

He used his pen he had been fidgeting with and pointed to one of the sentences sent by the unsub. “He never uses I in a sentence, it’s almost like he's trying to distance himself from each woman.”

Penelope scoffed, “Well if I had a soul and I was manipulating these women anyway, I’d do the same.”

I try not to laugh, but a small snicker slipped through anyways.  It was going to be fun sitting next to this sass every day.

I look back at the screen like before, but this time something sticks out.  My eyes narrow as I tap a few keys to zoom in on each woman's ear.  It can’t be, it’s probably a reach.  “Is it just me, or do all these women have double piercings on their ears?  That’s probably a coincidence, right?” I ask, trying to keep my voice steady.  I didn’t want my voice to show I wasn’t confident in my findings.

Spencer looks over at my screen before shaking his head “No… that actually makes sense…”  His voice trails off like he was still thinking.  Then he stood up straight to continue “Actually that could be huge for the profile.  There’s a fetish called Piquerism.  Essentially it’s when someone feels aroused by piercing another.  Most commonly by stabbing or slashing, but it can occur when the person has a simple ear piercing.”

“Ew.” Penelope shudders.

I was still reeling from the way Spencer spit out that information like it was common knowledge.  He almost seemed proud of himself for having that in his back pocket.

He clearly didn’t pick up on the creeped out looks on Penelope and I’s face because he continued like nothing happened “Penelope, can you let the team know?”

She shuddered one more time before nodding.  

I was too much in my head to pay attention to her calling the team.  This was my new reality.  Dealing with potential creeps like this was now my usual.  I knew it was going to be hard sitting in front of these screens every day and looking at the horrors that dance across them, but now that I was here, I was afraid nightmares were going to find me in my sleep every night.  How did these people do it?  Maybe I don’t have the stomach for this.  

I glanced over at the numerous toys on Penelope’s side of the desk and the dark cloud that was forming over my head started to break up to let light in.   The bright colors drowning out the darkness.  

“That was- um… A good catch Beven.” Spencer stuttered quietly enough that the call didn’t pick up his voice.

I look up to see him smiling softly.  Even though those words seemed shaky, they gave me a surge of confidence.  Hearing I did something good from someone as smart as him made me want to give myself a pat on the back.  My lips curl into a smile.

I already considered Penelope a friend, but it seemed like I can add Dr. Spencer Reid to that list.  Leading up to today I was so nervous how the team would perceive me, wheelchair and all.  I was lucky for most of my life I was surrounded by people who didn’t see me as different.  My parents, my family, and my friends never made me feel like I was less than.  The professional scene always seemed a little daunting though.  I knew what it looked like to any bystander, she can barely lift her arms, how is she supposed to be anything else than the greeter at Walmart?  I get it, honestly I would probably say the same thing if I was them.  Regardless, I knew I had more in me, and I was grateful everyone here saw what I could do, not what I can’t.

“Bevan, can you come with a list of tattoo parlors that also provide piercings in the general area of the abductions?” Hotch’s voice catches my attention through the call system “We’re gonna split up and find out who frequents the most.”

I quickly nodded, giving a “Yes sir.” Before he assigns Penelope a cross checking assignment. 

My fingers tap away, narrowing down a list of parlors that aren’t close to the abduction sights.  After a minute, I relay the list to Hotch, followed by him thanking me.  

Penelope hangs up before giving me a high 5 “Good work Newbie.  Someday you might be as fast as yours truly.” She jokes while resting her chin on her hands.

I snicker and shake my head “I appreciate that, but I watch you type and I don’t think I could ever get there.”

“Hm…” Penelope smirks before turning back to her computer screens “You're smart too, Newbie.  I am the best.”

Now Spencer and I laugh.

[gqueerb]

I will never forgive Lestat and Armand for the part they played in Claudia and Madeleine's death but the fact that Armand gets more hate for what happen to Claudia than Lestat in the fandom is insane to me and I LIKE Lestats dramatic sassy ass dont get me wrong, Im hyped when he shows up in a scene. But especially with how he kept framing Louis (whos not inocent no but has been manipulated by Lestat since he was a human and abused by him as a vampire) through all this as the problem for wanting to leave and forcing him to loneliness 🙄 and cruel for giving him the silent treatment after he dropped him from the fckn sky and not wanting to fuck lestat after Claudia left which is why he had to turn to Antoinette's bony flat ass like he hadnt already been hitting that since from way back when .. like what?

and dont even get me started on claudias turning scene and how this doesnt change anything, the fact that louis didnt fully process the extent of what Lestat was telling him while being traumatized and desperate to save her life as his form of "penance" and someone to possibly be his family which is so unfair to claudia and one of the ways in which Louis is not inocent either but doesnt in any fckn way make lestat a victim and Louis the bad guy in their dynamic (once again not that Louis is a inocent - he isnt - or anything but cmon)

All I'm saying is if youre gonna hate on Armand with such a passion be sure to do the same with the white vampire (especially since ppl treat the fact that a 500y vampire wasnt ready to sacrifice his coven of 200y for a guy he'd been fuckn for a while and repeatly told to get the fck out of Paris since he met him bc it wasnt safe and was clearly using him as a rebound is crazy - again from claudia and louis perspective he is and will always be a manipulative bitch that I WILL NEVER FORGIVE FOR HIS PART in Claudias death but from his perspective...like I don't like it and there was a better way to handle it, i hate it in fact but I do get it)

Like hate on Armand for this and that fine just then keep the same energy with Lestat ppl its all im saying.

(and again I like Lestats cunty sassy ass)

bc if we're really honest and unbiased yh Lestat saved Louis but you know who he didnt save CLAUDIA he didnt even attempt to physically get her away from stage, fight for her nothing!!!

and he knew that Claudia dying would kill a part of Louis he would never get back

Idc what Anne Rice herself comes to me as a ghost and says "he would have if he could but he really couldn't save her "or anyone invoveld in the show for that matter bc what was actually SHOWN to us throughout the ENTIRE series is that his focus has always been on Louis (it was never about you/it was never you/I made you for louis) and at the end of s1 he was fully prepared to replace Claudia with Antoinette.

We all know that if he by any chance needed to make another attempt to save Louis bc the first one wasn't enough he would have! even if he had to fight a whole ass coven we all know he wouldve at least tried for Louis and he DID NOT lift a fckn finger for Claudia!!

Just bc Armand sucks doenst change the fact that Lestat also sucks is my point I guess.

(which is why I'm baffled at why Louis thought Lestat was worthy of any damn apology or thank you - like yh you saved me but you didnt even try to save our daughter and you were part of the reason I needed saving in the first place sooooo wtf do I owe you anyhting - the acting in that scene much like the acting in the entire series was amazing tho ngl!!)

Keep the same energy or just be honest about the fact that you're bias when it comes to Lestat which if you are thats fine, I can even respect that as long as you're honest and don't try to pass your biasis as a valid argument.

Bottom line Claudia DESERVED BETTER and I'm kind of side eyeing the hatred towards Armand the same way i did the opinions that were going around about his casting just bc he wasn't a white ginger (like what?! 😒) like the way some (not all) of yall talk about it is rlly weird and suspicious ngl

Claudia (+Madeleine) and Daniel are my favorite characters

Everyone else needs therapy, either that or be bathed in holy water or smth

[botanikos]

Image text: It's Lisa Simpson giving her presentation with the words "I blocked and deleted anons for months, and left this blog/Stolas only for it to all keep going anyway."

Today, while singing around the kitchen after having a hard time at work, I had some "post-stress clarity" or whatever you want to call it.

I have been so exhausted, anxious, and genuinely saddened by the ongoing anonymous tirade that continues to mention my name (and others — but I don't speak for them, only myself). So allow me to make some clarifying statements, shall we? Not that I owe anyone a single word... besides, those I am close with or who know me know the truth. And let me just say thank you.

To everyone else, I refuse to apologize for making this post. As a victim of this circlejerk of an anonymous harassment campaign that people don't want to acknowledge or take seriously and just label as regular old "drama" even though it's been going on for months and that is fucking WILD — I am tired of keeping quiet. So here it is, why I "left."

1. My very first anonymous "criticism" was not that at all. I still wouldn't classify it as "hate" either, despite what others thought of it at the time. However, I have come to the conclusion now, months later, that it is entirely possible, and very likely, they mistook me for someone else. "Jude, that is awfully generous" ; no it isn't. It's what I believe to be true. My URL, at the time before it was changed to botanikos, was very similar to another person's. Knowing what I do now, it makes sense. No harm, no foul.

2. I have no real proof of who has been / is / was sending the constant barrage of anonymous messages. The Cam blog stepped up and said it was them. I believe they played a part in it, for sure, but considering things are STILL being said and I received messages even after blocking them. . . Huh. Interesting, don't you think? Anyways. . . That being said — Not once have I ever made a post about or directed towards another name that has been consistently mentioned in all of this, yet my posts were stolen and used. Linked, of course, because I took the reblog feature away. So again. . . The only things I have ever addressed are a select very few (2-3 messages at most) anonymous asks. I have. . . So many screenshots of messages I consistently received. Let that sink in.

3. "Just ignore and block. They will stop." If that were true, do you think I would have left this blog? No. Again, I don't know who is behind any of this, but it doesn't take rocket science to realize it's because I write Stolas and started befriending people? I assume that is what I am guilty of and what drew the attention? Coz otherwise, WHAT is the reason FOR ALL OF THIS/THAT? I'll wait, if anyone has a valid explanation. . .

4. Yea. I DID make a new blog! Wow! It's almost like I felt unsafe and anxious on this one after everything that's happened/been going on! And the only real way I saw myself regaining control of the situation was to take a few days away, shut down this blog, and start anew?!?! And even still, my name is being dragged around to other people. . . Funny how cowards don't want to ask or talk to me themselves about whatever curiosities they have. Huh! But no longer surprising. I'm just disappointed that I know 6 year olds with more decency and respect than the adults over here.

At this point, I am acutely aware that whoever is behind this, while I may not know their direct identity. . . It is SOMEONE or a group of people who are either close friends with one another and have interacted with me on some level (or the people around me) or they are someone I am close to and unaware of their double standards.

So, of course, I'm going to use a different name and different blog, be private and highly selective, and slow to follow people back or write anymore. Because my spirit and desire to be here while not entirely gone has been severely broken. If you feel like you need anything made clear or confirmed from me, just ask. I have screenshots of everything I need/felt was necessary. I'm an open book. Talk to me in private if you need anything more from me. But there's your explanation.

So let it fucking go. At this point, I'm done being sad about it; now I'm just furious. And if saying all of this makes you dislike me or question my character, I hope you take a moment to do a little reflecting yourself, too. Because nothing I've said above is in any way demeaning. I have given you my experience(s). This blog has brought me so much joy, and sparked new friendships that I am grateful for. But the fact remains that I had to leave. I have to be someplace else, and I'm not even fully present there either.

[lilgarbitch]

Running In Circles - Seven

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Reader

CW: angst, drinking, Y/N being a little dumbass, I’M SORRY DON’T HATE ME

Word Count: 10.5k

Author’s Note: as quoted from an earlier post: i fear my desire to make men miserable is playing a large role in my work and i do apologize for that.

Part Six

Noah

“YOU WHAT?” Ruffilo shouted from across the room at me as he stood up in disbelief. I sat on the couch with my head in my hands, pulling at my roots.

“I don’t know why I did it.. I just. I had to do something to make myself feel better about the situation,” I said, shaking my head, my voice strained with stress.

“When I said to find your own way to get back at her, I didn’t fucking mean that, you dumbass!” He was now pacing, like he was the one who fucked up. Maybe I shouldn’t have come to him about this.

“I know. I just..,” I let out a deep sigh, falling back on the couch, “Maybe I did it to hurt her, or maybe I did it to hurt myself. I don’t know. I just couldn’t take this shit anymore.”

“Dude! You spent YEARS talking about this girl. You’ve written fucking songs about her. You get into one fight, and do this?” He finally stopped and stared at me, waiting for me to come up with a better explanation, but I couldn’t. Because I didn’t have one.

Footsteps creep into the living room, so I look up and see Jolly looking at us, confused.

“What’s all the yelling about?” he asked, looking between the two of us. I just anxiously chewed on my lip, so Ruffilo answered for me.

“This jackass decided to hook up with someone at his fucking birthday party.” He put a hand on his hip like a disappointed parent, waiting for Jolly to give any reaction. I turn to Jolly and he’s giving me a look, a mix of shock and confusion. I let out a groan, getting up and walking to my room. I don’t need this. I had hoped Ruffilo could give me any advice for this fuck-up I made, but I should’ve known I would just get scolded.

I fall onto my bed and shove my face into my pillow, letting out a groan. I don’t fucking know why I did it. I was pissed off at how close she’s gotten with Matt. And when random friend of one of the guys was chatting with me and I looked over and saw that fucking Ghost Face grinding against Davis, I just lost it. I don’t know why sleeping with a random girl was my decision, especially when it won’t even affect Y/N if she never finds out, it was just the only thing my irrational brain could think of. Maybe I did it hoping it would help me get over her, but it just made me feel so much worse. I know we’ve been ignoring each other, but she’s acting like she doesn’t even fucking care about me anymore. So, I thought that maybe I shouldn’t care either, but obviously, everyone thought that was the stupidest thing I could do.

I hear the rest of the guys get back from the store, hearing cheers as they probably showed everyone the food and alcohol they got, and all I could do was groan. This break was supposed to be fun. The party was supposed to be fun. I was hoping to take Y/N on a date or two, showing her my favorite places in the city. But no. She showed up for the party, ignored me the whole time, and was nowhere to be found when I came back..after making that terrible decision. Fuck. Why the fuck did it have to work out this way? Why’d I yell at her at the bar? If we could just sit down and talk, maybe we could at least be friends. I can’t stand finally having her in my life yet she just fucking ignores me. Fuck, I need a fucking distraction.

I stood up from my bed and headed downstairs, trying my best to sneak by so no one would notice me. I reach the kitchen and grab a random bottle we had on top of the fridge, before sneaking back to my room. Locking the door behind me, I go to sit on my bed and grab my phone, connecting it to my speakers before opening Spotify and clicking a random playlist.

Turning the volume up full blast, I twist off the cap of what I now see is a bottle of fucking vodka. Grimacing, I lift it to my lips and take a large swig before setting it down on my nightstand, making a disgusted face at the taste and burn.

My thoughts were brought back to the first night of tour, drinking with the group and watching her from across the bus. She took a shot of vodka and made the same face before catching me watching her and giving me the most beautiful smile.

A growl erupts in my throat. I need to get her out of my fucking head. How am I even going to look at her when tour starts again if I can’t even handle thinking of her?

I grab the bottle again and take an even larger drink, leaning against the wall behind my bed as I felt the liquid fire fill my gut. Distraction. I need another fucking distraction. Because this isn’t hitting me fast enough and the music isn’t overpowering my thoughts.

I open my phone and pull up Instagram, hoping to find absolutely fucking anything that pulls me from these thoughts. I scroll and scroll, every meme trying to be funny, and every picture of someone looking happy just pissing me off.

I keep scrolling before my eyes land on tattoos. Her’s. I pause and see that State of the Scene had posted a photo of her in a sound booth. My eyes trail down to the caption. “Lorna Shore’s Will Ramos posts Praising Deities’ Y/N Y/L/N, calling her the ‘next deathcore vocalist’ and that he ‘can’t wait for y’all to hear what she can do.’ Let’s hope she releases something new soon, as fans have been enjoying her covers of ‘To the Hellfire’ and ‘Sun//Eater,’ sung on her current tour with the band Bad Omens.”

All it took was one comment. A single fucking comment to push me over the edge.

“Are those hickeys on her neck?”

Before I could even think, a yell came spewing out as I threw my phone across the room, creating a loud band and a small crack as it shattered against the wall.

Tears came pouring down my face, now being unable to hold back every emotion that I’ve felt the past few weeks. I took one last swig of the vodka before setting it on my nightstand and lying down, pulling my covers over me. ‘Love Me to Death’ by Suicide Silence blasted through my speakers, proving that my phone wasn’t completely destroyed, but now I couldn’t fucking change it.

She has every fucking right to move on. I fucking did, too. But to get that confirmation that after barely a month of finally having her in my life, she’s fucking gone. I can’t take it anymore. My chest ached and burned. All I wanted to do was scream until the pain was gone. I wanted her. I needed her. How did my life turn into such a fucking train-wreck so fast?

Suddenly, someone knocks on my door. They try to say something, but between my sobs and the music, I don’t know what.

“FUCK OFF,” was all I said before shoving my head under my pillow, ignoring the rest of the world as I prayed for the alcohol to hit more and clear my mind.

Y/N

The other guys left after listening to my isolated screams, commenting on a few, and giving me a few ‘good lucks’ before going about their day. I made sure to thank Dave for letting me use his studio, and he said that it was here for me anytime. I doubt I’ll ever take him up on that offer, as I was still extremely intimidated by him, but I really appreciated it.

Will and I were now just messing around in the studio. We already spent a good hour or so working on how I could get certain screams and growls to sound better and how I could enunciate words differently if that’s what I enjoyed. Now, we were just playing music and singing along as we occasionally went back and forth in the sound booth, wanting to see if we could hit notes right. Every recording we took was just full of giggles, so thankfully we were already planning to delete them right after listening.

He even taught me a few controls, mainly how to set songs up for him, make them only play for the person in the booth, and which button let me talk to him. We learned more about each other’s music tastes and where it came from, even who we took inspiration from for our own music. I learned more about his love for Sleep Token, which went a lot deeper than I thought. He went on a few rambles just talking about his appreciation for how they write the music and even played songs, pointing out specific things Vessel did in his vocals.

He kept playing ‘Chokehold’ over and over, to the point that I practically learned the whole song. After what felt like the tenth full run-through, not counting the amount of times he went back and repeatedly played specific parts because he just couldn’t get over the sound, I stood up and walked to the sound booth.

I was getting more used to being in here now and definitely more used to singing in front of Will. We’d been in this studio for hours at this point, just singing to each other, so all my nerves were gone.

He watched me as I walked and immediately sat up and leaned over the controls, a little confused.

“Play it again, I wanna try,” I told him through the mic as I put the headphones on.

“Chokehold? You wanna sing Chokehold? You literally just fucking heard it,” He said, laughing.

“I heard it like 30 times and you even gave me a rundown of every single quirk in his vocals, now run it,” I teased. He playfully lifted his hands in defense before getting everything set up.

The intro started playing so I held the headphones close to my ears and counted the beats in my head, not wanting to miss the cues.

When we were made

I did my best to make it airy and hold the same enunciation as Vessel did.

It was no accident

It was honestly so entertaining to practice Sleep Token songs. Vessel put so much character into every single note and to reenact it was so fun. Especially switching between chest voice and head voice or adding the little ‘t’ at the end of a line.

We were tangled up like branches in a flood

Over-exaggerating certain parts was new to me unless I was singing along to a more pop punk song, where everyone had a specific accent they used.

I come as a blade

I did my best to flow into a high note, and I did surprisingly well, so I turned to Will with a proud look on my face before continuing.

A sacred guardian

Will was watching me in awe, and I so badly wanted to laugh at the face he made, but I had to keep my composure to continue.

So you keep me sharp and test my worth in blood

It looked like Will was slowly falling into deep thought, but I knew it was still recording, so I just ignored him and continued.

You’ve got me in a chokehold

I did my best to remember how Vessel did the audible breaths and tried to recreate them.

You’ve got me in a chokehold

You’ve got me in a-

I look back over to see if Will was doing his famous dance to this part like he had every other replay of this song, but instead, he stood up and paused the music, and started messing around with more controls.

“Will? Did I do something wrong?” I asked, and he just shook his head as he did whatever the hell he was trying to do.

Finally, he stopped touching buttons, and the music started again, and he was rushing into the sound booth with me. He hurriedly came over and grabbed the other set of headphones lying in here, putting them on and turning to me with a child-like smile.

“Roll with it,” He said, so I nodded and began to sing.

When we were made

Woah, he finally turned on the control so we could hear ourselves and each other.

It was no accident

We were tangled up like branches in a flood

Then, Will joined in with me.

I come as a blade

I looked at him, shocked. We sounded so fucking good. He went lower as I took the high note at the end, nailing it once again.

A sacred guardian

So you keep me sharp and test my worth in blood

He looked at me and put a hand on my shoulder, and I took that as a signal for me to let him sing the following lines.

You’ve got me in a chokehold

You’ve got me in a chokehold

He patted my shoulder, and I assumed that as him saying to join him.

You’ve got me in a-

He started headbanging to the music and I looked at him like we just did the craziest thing, because, to me, we fucking did. I had to hold back my giggles as he jammed out next to me. The next lines were about to come up, so he composed himself and put a hand on my shoulder, this now being our signal for him to sing.

Beneath the stormy seas

Above the mountain peaks

It’s all the same to me

It makes no difference

He patted my shoulder, so I joined in.

I’ve seen my days unfold

Done the impossible

I’d turn my walls to gold

To bring you home again

He stepped back from the mic, so it was just me singing the next few lines.

So show me that which I cannot see

Even if it hurts me

Even if I can’t sleep

Oh, and though we

Act out of our holy

Duty to be constantly awake

I did my best to hit the last notes, and then felt a tap on my shoulder.

You’ve got me in a chokehold

He started doing a fry scream and it sounded so good.

You’ve got me in a chokehold

He patted my shoulder once again, and I had to quickly think of the best route of action to make our vocals sound good together, but just landed on continuing to do clean, alto vocals.

You’ve got me in a chokehold

You’ve got me in a chokehold

He switched back to his clean vocals for the ending.

Even if it hurts me

Even if I can’t sleep

Show me the way

We held out the last note together, him not trying to create harmony, just matching our vocals so they meshed together.

We looked at each other in shock as the song ended before rushing out of the sound booth and over to the control board. We listened back to our isolated vocals in disbelief. The fact that we just threw this together last second was unbelievable.

We listened to it a few times, talking about what could be fixed or edited, both of us individually running to the sound booth multiple times to sing our parts so we could edit them together. We even did some lines differently, seeing if more harmony or if me doing harsh vocals would sound better.

After recording probably too many pieces, he switched over all the vocals to his personal laptop, and we started working them together. Finally, we added the instrumental over top, spending a few minutes lining everything up perfectly, giving it one last listen, and then just staring at each other, shocked.

“We just fucking made that!” I said, pointing to his laptop. He nodded with a wide smile.

“Yes, the fuck we did,” he said, holding his hand up. I gave him a high-five, laughing at the insanity that was the piece of art we just made.

“What now? Show the boys?” I asked, hooking a finger over my shoulder at the door behind me.

“Dude, we have to fucking show everyone. Are you kidding me?”

“Now? You’re gonna post it now?” I asked, both shocked and amused.

“Y/N. We just spent over two hours editing this together. Plus, it’s just a cover. Yes, now.” He laughed out. I looked over at the clock and realized that we had indeed been doing this for a while.

“Okay, okay. Ahh, I’m scared. No. I’m excited,” I rushed out, kicking my feet. He just laughed at me before turning to his laptop. I watched as he downloaded the file before uploading it on his personal Spotify with my name featured on it. I just stared at the screen in shock. I just did a cover song. It was now up for everyone to see. And I did it with Will Ramos. Oh my fucking god.

I quickly pull my phone out, ignoring every notification, and open Spotify. I copy the link to the song and head over to Instagram. I screen-recorded the story Will made earlier, and cropped it as I made a post of the video, and added the link to the song played over the post.

“Chokehold- Sleep Token. A cover by Will Ramos and Y/N Y/L/N 🖤🤘🏻,” I wrote in the caption. I tagged Will and hit post.

I looked over at Will and grinned. He looked back at me, smiling twice as big. I was so full of excitement and energy, and I didn’t know what to do, so I just flung myself on him, pulling him into a tight hug.

“Will, you’ve made these last two days more fun than I’ve had this past month. Thank you so much.” He held me closer, laughing with me.

“Anything for you, my little petal.” I giggled at my nickname again before pulling away.

“I’m serious, though. These last few weeks- Hell! These last few years had been fucking crazy for me, and I feel like by simply meeting you, shit’s finally starting to fall into place. I’m doing new things. More people are listening to me. I just learned controls, for fucks sake,” I laughed, making him chuckle down at me, “So thank you. I’m so unbelievably fucking happy to have finally met you.”

He looks at me with a warm smile, my words soaking in. I was still hugging him, so we were still super close, and I don’t know what came over me, but I pulled him down and brought his lips to mine.

He tensed for a moment but instantly kissed me back. I brought my hand up to the back of his head, sliding my fingers into his pink locs as I held him close. His hands slid up to my sides, pulling my body towards him more. The kiss was about to deepen, when I got pulled back to reality by my phone ringing. I immediately pulled away and looked at him, shocked, before fumbling to grab my phone. I answered it without even looking at who was calling.

“Hello?” I greeted, having to clear my throat as it cracked a bit out of shock.

“YOU RELEASED A SONG WITHOUT TELLING YOUR OWN BAND? YOUR OWN BROTHERS?” Finn shouted into the phone, making me chuckle and pull my phone from my ear.

“Shit. Yeah, sorry about that. Will and I were messing around in the studio,” I had to clear my throat again after saying ‘messing around’ before continuing, “ and we were listening to Sleep Token and decided to try out doing a cover, and it came out surprisingly well.”

“When the fuck did you meet Will? I thought he was in New Jersey," he asked.

“Funny story, actually. Him and the band are staying here with a friend, and we ran into each other at the club,” I sheepishly replied. There was silence on the other side of the phone for a few moments, and I almost thought we lost connection before he finally replied.

“Oh, we’re having a long chat the next time I see you, missy. Which better be soon, might I add. I’ve seen you once in the last four days,” he finally said, with a tone mixed with suspicion and deviousness.

“Yes, Sir. Now, did you only call to yell at me?” I teased.

“Well, I did want to tell you that you two sounded fucking fantastic and that maybe you could invite Will over to the boys’ house, but I can sense you’re having more fun there,” He teased back.

“Shut it. I appreciate the compliment and will pass it on, but I’m ignoring everything you said after that for multiple reasons.”

“Oh… shit, you’re right. That might be a bad idea…Anyway, have fun with your little date. Love you!” He said, making me roll my eyes.

“Love you, too.” And then I hung up. I chewed on my lip nervously before finally turning around to look at Will. He was staring at me with a humorous expression.

“I hope you know that I could hear that entire conversation,” He chuckled out, making me facepalm, “And tell him that I said thank you for the compliment. Now…what was that?”

I groaned and walked past him, sitting down and throwing my head down in my hands.

“Will. I’m so sorry,” was all I could get out. I hear his footsteps come towards me, and I looked up to see him crouching down in front of me.

“For what? I mean, we’ve done more than that, so don’t think I’m bothered.”

“No. I mean, I am sorry for kissing you. I said we were gonna leave it all behind and pretend like nothing happened, and I still want to. But I’m mainly sorry that I may be pulling you into a very awkward situation.” He gave me a confused look. I let out a deep sigh. Should I even explain or just leave him out of this?

“So… Something may or may not have happened with…someone …I’m touring with…and shit has been weird. Fuck. It’s a long ass story,” I finished with a groan. He chuckled softly and rested his hands on my knees before sitting down in front of me with his legs crossed.

“I have time, my petal. Tell me what’s bothering you.” I let out another deep sigh. I might as well tell someone else the bullshit that’s been happening since everyone else seems to know.

And so I did. I told him everything. From the festival to the song lyrics. The ‘talk.’ The night at the bar. The Halloween/ birthday party. The depression. Me getting back into smoking. How reckless I was being last night because I wasn’t in the right mind. Everything. And he sat there, staring at me and listening intently, occasionally giving my knees a squeeze if I got a little too emotional. He let me tell him everything. Once I finally finished, he stood up, pulling me up with him and giving me a big hug.

“Everything will work out, my little petal. You two will eventually make up because you have to, or else tour will be really weird. I’m perfectly fine being that rebound that kind of gets in the way because I know you didn’t do it to hurt anyone. And because I really enjoy spending time with you and being your friend,” He pulled away and looked me deep in my eyes, “And just your friend. We can leave everything in the past. We randomly ran into each other at a club, went home separately, and the next day, I gave you vocal lessons and we recorded a song together. That’s all that happened. Okay?”

Tears were now welling up in my eyes as I nodded before pulling him back into a hug.

“Thank you.” I managed to get out. He rubbed my back as he held me close.

“Anything for a friend.”

After a minute or two of just taking in the comfort and reassurance, I finally pulled away and sat back down, him following and sitting back in his chair. He turned back to his laptop, typing away at something for a few minutes as I sat in my thoughts.

“Will?” I asked after a few moments. He turned to me with a ‘hm?’

“What’s with the ‘my little petal’?” I finally asked. He chucked and sat back in his chair with a small shy grin.

“Uh..well, first off, you’re pretty like a flower. You’re soft, delicate, and, you know, are able to either attract or repel others with your looks…I guess? Plus, you can be a little sharp, but only if you have to…And I like flowers. I don’t know. It was something that came to mind last night and I guess it just stuck,” He answers, a little embarrassed, making me giggle.

“God, you’re such a sap. If I didn’t have a goddamn soul tie to someone, that would work on me,” I teased, making him laugh loudly.

“Good to know,” he teased back with a smirk, “But, on a different note, I do have an idea for you.”

I look at him suspiciously, waiting for him to continue. He returned to doing something on the laptop before moving him and the computer to the control board. I watched him curiously as he started messing with things again. He couldn’t possibly want to change anything about the cover we did. It was already posted.

After messing around with a few things, he turned to me.

“Two questions. One- How badly do you want to at least try and make things better between you two? Like, I know it’s still super rocky, and it’s gonna take time, but do you want to at least reach out?” He asked. I was confused, but still thought about it for a moment, weighing my decisions.

“Badly. I know we’re gonna have to start over completely. We’ve both done some weird shit in the past few weeks, but I need us to reach a point where we can at least look at and speak to each other again.” I finally answered. He nodded before continuing.

“Second question, are you okay with being recorded today?” I looked at him, extra confused, and saw that he was pointing towards a camera that has apparently been in the sound booth this whole time. What did this man have planned?

I pulled out my phone and opened the camera, looking over my appearance. My makeup was mostly intact after redoing it in the morning, even after tearing up a little, and I didn’t do anything with my hair today, but I ran my fingers through it so it was semi-presentable. Then my eyes landed on my neck, and I made a slight hiss at the marks.

“Let me borrow a hoodie, and I’ll be fine,” I answered, and he immediately started taking off the one he threw on earlier and handed it to me before getting up and walking to the sound booth to start messing with the camera in there.

“Will, what am I about to do? Why am I being recorded?” I asked, more confused than ever. He just shot me a smirk as he finished messing with the camera and came back out.

“Just get in there.” He said, pointing at the sound booth.

“You have to tell me what song I’m covering. Do I even know it?” I said as I threw on his hoodie and walked into the sound booth. I pulled the hood up so it was shielding my neck from the camera and then tried my best to pretend a camera wasn’t flashing, indicating that it was already recording me.

“Y/N, I promise you that if you don’t know this song, it’s not meant to be.” He spoke into my headphones. I continued staring at him, confused as ever. And then I watched as he hit a few buttons, setting the track back and hitting record, before finally hitting play. I got myself ready to sing whatever song I apparently should know.

And then ‘Just Pretend’ started playing.

Will and I worked on putting the video together. He made me do multiple takes, the first one showing that I was a little spooked at the song choice. We edited the audio, taking out as many voice cracks as possible since singing this song over and over again did eventually make me emotional.

Now he was, in his words, “working his magic,” and, “putting the best video over the audio.” And I just sat back and let him work, fidgeting with the strings of his hoodies as I listened to him type away at his laptop.

Would this even work? He kept choosing audio clips that captured more emotion, even if I was literally crying as I sang. I told him that it was going to sound weird, but he kept shutting me up, saying that he knew what he was doing. I was so drained from everything we did today, and good god, I’ve listened to myself sing so much today, I think I’m going to lose my mind. I leaned my head back against the chair and let out a deep sigh. Today has been a lot. Not in a bad way, just…a lot.

He swiveled his chair around and turned to me, making me look up at him. He held the computer out to me, so I took it, eyeing him.

“My work here is done,” he said with a proud smile. He was a little too excited about this, even after watching me cry for over an hour to a song. My eyes flickered between him and the laptop, debating if I even wanted to see this, but I still hit play.

The music started, and my voice rang through the laptop speakers. It was a little too full of emotion for my standards, but I’m going to trust Will on this. Then, I realized he had chosen one of the last recordings, where I had already cried, so my eyes were a little red.

I continued watching, seeing that he still kept some of the audio clips where my voice cracked, but just in the right spots, like the parts where I held out notes.

Weigh down on me, stay til morning

Way down, would you say I’m worthy

A tear fell down my eye in the video. I don’t cry in front of people. And he wants me to post this?

Weigh down on me, stay til morning

Way down, would you say I’m worthy

I had glanced into the camera at that point. I didn’t even know I did that, but you could see the emotion in my red, puffy eyes. My makeup was even starting to run a little.

I can wait for you at the bottom

I can stay away if you want me to

I can wait for years if I gotta

Heaven knows I ain’t gettin over you

My voice cracked at almost every high note, but it didn’t sound bad. It was just…emotional.

We’ll try again

When we’re not so different

We will make amends

Til then, I’ll just pretend

I had stepped away from the mic at that point, unable to finish from the exhaustion of having to repeatedly sing a song that held every emotion I felt, but Will layered vocals from another clip over the video, just sounding a little more distant. I looked over at Will with a look of disbelief as the video faded out.

“Well?” He asked, still holding a proud, smug grin on his face.

“Wh- How- Will!” I stuttered, in complete shock, “I-what do I even do with this?”

“Well, I’m glad you asked. I reached out to Mr. Nicholas Ruffilo, asking for permission to even do this. He said to send him the video as soon as it’s finished, and then we could figure out where to go from there,” he answered. I looked between him and the laptop again before handing the computer back to him.

“I don’t know how this is gonna work out. It looks like I’m throwing a pity party,” I whine, pointing at that laptop.

“Okay, but were those emotions manipulative? Or were they real?” He asked with a pointed look.

“They were real, but I already fucked up so bad. Twice. I know me sleeping with you was just a reaction to seeing him leave the party with a girl, but that doesn’t mean it won’t kill him to find out. So the last thing I need is for him to think of me as a manipulative whore,” I practically cry out. Will shakes his head and scoots closer to me, resting a hand on my knee.

“I promise you, if he wants this to work out as much as you do, he will see the authenticity in this,” he replies, making me sigh.

“Since you did all the work, you get all the blame,” I say, leaning back in my chair with a sigh. I can either see this fucking things up more, or actually working out, but either way, fans are going to freak the fuck out if this gets posted online. God, am I really communicating with a man through music again?

Will types away at the computer, probably saving the file and sending it to Ruffilo, before looking at me.

“I’m starving. Wanna go get dinner?” He asked, as if nothing happened. I give him an exhausted yet humored side-eye before nodding and standing up with him.

Noah

I awoke to someone rummaging next to me. With a groan, I rolled over and looked to see Ruffilo screwing the lid back onto the bottle of vodka next to my bed, Nick turning my speakers off, and Jolly picking up my smashed phone and a picture that I guess had also fallen when I threw the phone.

“Get the fuck out of here,” I groaned, before bringing my arm over my eyes, the hangover instantly kicking in. I still felt tipsy, probably not having slept for a long time, but that didn’t change the fact that I hadn’t had a single sip of water today.

“Take this,” Ruffilo said. I peek out from under my arm and see him handing me a glass of water like he read my fucking mind, which I instantly took. I sat up and chugged the whole glass. It felt like I hadn’t had water in days. I set the cup beside me before dropping my head in my hands with a loud groan.

“Do we..?” I heard Jolly ask, not knowing what the hell he meant. I then heard someone, probably Ruffilo, crouch down beside my bed. I glance over and see him giving me a pitying look, making me roll my eyes.

“Whenever you’re ready, I have something to show you downstairs. I can make the other guys leave for a little if you don’t want to deal with company, but it’s something that you need to see,” he said in a hushed tone, like I was a dog he would scare away if he spoke too loud.

I let out a deep sigh and rubbed my eyes before swinging my feet over the bed. There’s nothing they could show me that would make me feel worse than I do now, so why the fuck not? They all backed up as I sat up from my bed, swaying a little as the alcohol hadn’t yet left my system. They all file out of my room, and I follow.

“Did you guys seriously pick my lock?” I grumbled out, remembering that I had locked the door before passing out. Nick glanced over at me, looking a little guilty, causing a huff of a laugh to escape my lips.

They led me to the living room, which was thankfully empty. Who knows where everyone else was. Jolly reached over and grabbed a laptop, sitting down on the couch and opening it. I plopped down next to him, sinking into the back of the couch, not really wanting to be here. After a few moments of him typing away at it, pulling something up, he sat the laptop on the table in front of me.

I glanced at the laptop and then at the rest of them, confused. What the fuck were they about to show me? Ruffilo motioned his head towards it, signaling to me that I had to press play, so I did.

Instantly, the beginning of ‘Just Pretend’ played through the speakers of the laptop, making me groan. What the fuck was this? But then, her face came up as the vocals started.

I just sat there, staring at her in shock as she sang. She had a hoodie pulled over her so only her face showed. I leaned in closer, noticing something. She was crying. Every time she opened her eyes, they were bloodshot, and her makeup had been running.

Her voice cracked with emotion every high note, like she had been holding back a sob. I never wanted to see her cry. Especially not like this…

The bridge hit, and my eyes widened as she looked at the camera. Her eyes were full of what I could only describe as despair. They were dull and glazed over, barely even processing where she was looking, just staring off as she let the emotion flow through her singing. Her voice was harsh, like she had either been using it a lot or smoking. But it was still beautiful.

She stepped away from the mic after the heart wrenching post-chorus, almost like her body was about to cave in on itself. But her voice still rang through. Her face scrunched up as she looked down, and you could almost see a sob shake her body. The sight of her at a breaking point as her beautiful voice still sang, just in the distance, was more heartbreaking than anything I’ve ever seen.

The video finally ended and I just stared at the black screen, catching my reflection in it and saw that I was crying as well. I don’t even know what to do now. Emotion poured through me and my head fell into my hands as broken sobs left my lips. What the fuck was that? What the fuck do I do now?

I made a terrible fucking mistake, and she had obviously went to Will to make her feel better, but then she makes this? What the fuck does any of this even mean? What the fuck do I do? I want to see her. To hold her. But that’s not my place. It never was. She learned that going to people like Matt or Finn or Will was much less heartbreaking than coming to me. But I just need to talk to her. To start over.

Why did I start ignoring her? Why did I get so upset at the bar? She had every single right to feel that way, I just became attached too quickly and couldn’t let her leave. But she still did. She left, and she probably already moved on to Will. I mean, that was the same sound booth that I saw in that picture earlier, so she’s obviously been spending the break with him. She was barely here at the party. God, that fucking party. The first time I got a chance to be close to her in two weeks and I spent it ruining everything. I got jealous at her being a friendly person and went and fucking slept with someone. She had every single right to fucking move on. I mean, I tried to as well.

But what the fuck was this then? Why did she cover my fucking song, looking ever so heartbroken? Where the fuck did this even come from? Why were the guys showing me this? I finally look up at the three boys in front of me, all of them staring down at me in pity.

“What the fuck is this?” I finally managed to get out between sobs.

“All I was told was that she wanted to make this and that Will wanted me to show it to you. You’re gonna have to talk to her to figure out the rest.” Ruffilo responded, not helping me at all.

“I just don’t understand! I see a post of her hanging out with Will, covered in hickeys, and then she fucking does this?” I ask, still overwhelmed with everything. Ruffilo sighs.

“Noah. You do realize that you’re doing the exact same thing, right? You slept with someone and then proceeded to break down in guilt. She’s just the one to throw in the towel first. She’s trying to make up.” I groan between sobs and fall back into the couch, bringing an arm up to cover my face.

“What do I do, then? It’s not like I can text her. My phones broken and it’s just gonna be awkward.”

“Just think about it. Plan out your best choice of action and work from there. This is something that can only be fixed by the two of you,” he answered. Fuck.

“Also, I’ll head out tomorrow to get you a new phone. It’s too late to go now,” Jolly chimed. After thinking about it for another minute, I let out a deep sigh and sat back up.

“Okay. I’ll figure this out.” The boys watched me for a second, trying to get a good sense of if I was being serious, before coming over and patting me on the back before heading into the house, probably to hang out with the rest of the guys, leaving me in my thoughts.

Y/N

I anxiously chew on my lip as Will and I walk down the streets of L.A. Neither of us heard anything back from Ruffilo or any of the guys, yet. Will said that he didn’t want the night to end just yet, since I wasn’t in the best headspace, and he did his best to keep me from my thoughts as we went on our little adventure, which I really appreciated. But, to be honest, neither of us know where the hell we were going.

After we ate, he thought it’d be a good idea to just explore the city since neither of us really knew anything about it, but nothing caught our eye as we walked. It was nice to stretch our legs after sitting in a studio for a good eight hours, though.

We walked through the city, pointing out random things we saw, occasionally bumping into each other, either on purpose or because we weren’t paying attention, and just chatting about whatever came to our minds.

“What are your thoughts on adding a rhythm guitarist to Praising Deities?” I asked. He chucked, but gave it some thought.

“I mean, I have a feeling you’re gonna want to change up your style a little, now that you’re more comfortable with broadening your vocal range, but it is a lot of work splitting the guitar into two parts,” he answered.

“Yeah. We’ve changed things up a few times, but adding harsher vocals like yours would be a huge step. I do some already, but nothing more than a simple growl. So, if we really want to take that step, a lot of work is gonna have to go into this.”

“Do you have someone in mind? Or do you just want to add the more concentrated sound of a melodic guitar?” I thought about it for a minute.

“No, and I highly doubt Finn would want to learn to switch to pure rhythm. Not that he’s bad at it, but he really enjoys what he plays now,” I look over at him with a smirk, “I mean, would you be mad if I stole Andrew? He might even like my vocals more than you.”

He let out a loud laugh and swung his arm over my shoulders and pulled me in to his side. I giggled and looked up at him as we paused on our walk. He looked down at me with a smirk.

“You wish,” was all he said before he let go and continued walking, picking up speed to make me catch up to him. But that’s when something caught our eye. A flash. Fuck.

We both pause and glance towards the direction it came from, seeing a man holding a camera in our direction.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” I mumbled. He let out a sigh.

“Let’s just head back to Dave’s. There’s nothing out here for us to do anyway.” And with that, we turned around and retraced our steps, making our way back.

“You’re back again? Don’t you have a band to be spending time with?” Austin teased with a fale scowl as we walked into the house.

“Of course I do. It’s your band!” I joked back. He laughed and rolled his eyes.

“What? Will didn’t tell you guys? You’re getting a second, better vocalist!” I continued, putting my hands on my hips to look confident. Will softly pushed me while laughing, making me stumble and giggle as I walked over to the couch and sat down with everyone.

Will walked past us into the kitchen, and I started chatting with everyone there. I’ve gotten surprisingly comfortable with them after they helped me with my vocals earlier, so I wasn’t as nervous to be around them anymore.

Will came back out and handed me a drink. I didn’t know what it was, so I gave him a slightly suspicious look as I took a sip. I made a face, not expecting it to be a vodka cranberry, but it was still really good. He chuckled at my face before sitting down next to me.

“Oh so first she steals clothes, and now she’s taking our drinks?” Adam joked. Ever since this morning, they’ve been messing with me all day, but I loved it. It was like I was back with my own boys again.

I looked at him confused, before remembering that I was still wearing Will’s hoodie, so I set down my drink and took it off, handing it back to him.

“No, you didn’t have to. I’m fine,” he said, trying to push it back to me.

“Well, I don’t really need it anymore, and I don’t wanna accidentally wear it home,” I persisted, trying to give it back. He grabbed it and sat it between us.

“I’ll keep it here if you need it,” He spoke softly as he leaned back and turned his attention towards the guys.

I just shook my head with a small laugh before grabbing my drink, taking a sip, and doing the same.

The guys and I all chatted for a few hours, the alcohol making Will and I a little more loose-lipped as the night went on, him even making us more drinks. They asked me questions about my band and how the tour was going. I may have been a little too honest, but it didn’t affect them. I even asked them for advice on the best course of action on drastically changing the sound of our music, now that I was getting more comfortable with the thought of it. They gave really good advice, but a lot of it was that I had to talk to my own bandmates about it, which made sense.

After we were a few drinks in, Will leaned his head on my shoulder as we all talked. He was still awake, the alcohol seemingly making him want to get comfier, and if I learned anything the past two days, it was that Will was a cuddler. He loved physical touch, and the closer to you, the better, so I wasn’t shocked when he eventually sank into the couch, cuddling into my side as we all chatted. And I knew it was normal when the rest of the guys didn’t even blink an eye at it.

Though, after some time, he became dead weight against me, and when I looked over, I saw that he was out like a light. I did my best to keep the conversation going, but between the warmth of his body heat and the alcohol, I felt my eyes getting heavier.

The rest of the guys started to notice, so they eventually excused themselves to either head to bed or hang out somewhere else, saying they didn’t want to wake him.

With that, I leaned my head on Will’s and eventually slipped into a deep sleep.

I woke up to the feeling of someone looming over me, so with a scrunched face, I opened my eyes and saw Moke and Austin looking at Austin’s phone, giggling about something. I tried to raise an arm to rub my eyes, but realized they were stuck. Looking down, I saw that at some point in the night, Will and I had laid down, and now he was sprawled out on top of me, practically pinning me to the couch. He was still completely out, just pure dead weight on top of me.

A yawn escaped my lips, making the two goofballs aware that I was now awake, and they giggled down at me.

“What are you two idiots up to?” I softly asked, my voice coming out harsh and raspy, either from the alcohol or the fact that I don’t think I shut up for a single second yesterday.

Austin turned his phone around with a mischievous grin on his face, showing me that he had taken a picture of Will and me and posted it to his story, captioning it, “These two don’t know how to party.”

I finally managed to slide a hand out from between Will and I and reached for his phone, wanting a closer look. I couldn’t tell from my angle, but Will was completely intertwined with my body. Our legs looped around each other and I was using one of his arms as a pillow as his other arm draped across my chest. He was using one of my tits as a pillow, which made me giggle. We were both out cold, Will’s mouth slightly agape as if he was snoring. I gave the phone back to Austin after rolling my eyes.

“So, am I just stuck like this now?” I ask the two, making them chuckle.

“Yep. He can sleep for a whole day if he’s comfortable enough, so good luck!” Moke responded. I almost let out a groan, but didn’t because I would feel bad if I woke him.

“So I’m trapped under a dead body and you two are just taking pictures? What the fuck?” I teasingly whisper yelled. They both walked away with suppressed giggles, leaving me to wait for Will to wake up.

With my now free arm, I searched around me, trying to feel if there was anything for me to entertain myself with. My body was hanging ever so slightly off the edge of the couch, so I had a feeling my phone slipped out of my pocket at some point in the night. I couldn’t move my head, or any other of my body for that matter, but thankfully my hand finally touched the cold screen and I did my best to grab it with a contorted arm.

I turn it on after finally picking it up, and saw that it was already noon. The guys and I were up for a while last night, so I’m not too shocked that we slept this late, but it felt weird that I had spent more time with Will than anyone else this whole break. But at the same time, I didn’t care. I literally live with three of them and I’m going to be spending the next almost three months with the other five, and this will be the only time I’ll get to spend with Will for who knows how long.

Maybe I could see if my boys wanted to hang out with the Lorna Shore boys. I would invite everyone else, but with everything happening, I haven’t been too close with any of them lately. I’ll mention it to Will later.

I finally open my phone and click on the messages I saw that I had. There were a few from my boys, telling me that they missed me and they wished I was partying with them and everyone else. I wish I was too, but with the state that my life was in right now, I’d much rather spend my time with the person who was most unrelated to the tour and everyone in it. I couldn’t be more thankful to have run into Will. He was everything I needed at this time. Someone who brought excitement into my life, distracting me from everything else. Someone who, even though it was a terrible mistake, managed to heal a small part of me the other night. A healing intimate encounter, proving that not every man I got this close with in my 20s was going to hurt me in some way. Purely a quick rebound that we both agreed wouldn’t affect anything, followed by getting an insane amount of support in both my music and with the stress that this whole fiasco has caused. And a new friend. An amazing friend. He was so different from anyone else I had in my life at the moment that it just felt so good to be around him, especially because he came with a completely different friend circle, so I could have peace from everything while still being social.

I know what I did was terrible. While it wasn’t like I cheated on Noah, I already feel so much guilt everyday since our fight at the bar, so knowing I may possibly be making the tension across the bands even worse kills me. But the truth is, I just don’t think my brain and body knew how to handle having a friend like Will in my life at first. Sure, Finn is one of my biggest supporters, but since the day I met him, all those years ago, he’s been nothing but a brother to me. And my brain just couldn’t see Matt as any different. Yeah, we pretended to like each other, just to piss people off, but my mind instantly added him into the same category as my bandmates.

But meeting Will was completely different. Not as different as meeting Noah, that’s for sure, but he was the first guy I’ve met that I just instantly felt completely comfortable with. Apparently so comfortable, I let him see me naked within the first few hours of meeting. But I don’t see him as a future partner or even a regular fling or anything like that. We both just misunderstood our intimate connection at first. He has so much love in his heart that I can’t even blame myself for instantly searching for a way to feel it more. While I should’ve just earned it by being his friend, seeing as he treats everyone with this amount of love and support, I think I just really needed someone like him at this point in my life to show me an abundance of it for a night. Now that I’ve gotten it, I feel like something in me is slowly healing.

And even now, something in me slowly heals as I feel his breath against my chest as he sleeps. The overwhelming comfort of being this physically close to someone and being able to enjoy it platonically. I know fans are having a field day with this, and I know that if any of my band mates or any of the Bad Omens boys see the picture on Austin’s story or from the paparazzi last night, it’s most likely going to cause problems, but for once, I don’t want to have something be a problem. It will be rare to see Will after this week, so I’m going to soak in his comfort and support until I’m forced back to reality and have to deal with life by myself, including explaining myself to the others.

I did my best to text them back, having to type with one hand that was hovering unsupported over my face and still deep in thought over how insane my life has been recently. But the movement from the heavy weight on my body almost made me drop my phone on my face.

Will shifted in his sleep, turning slightly and pulling himself closer to me. He dug his face between my shoulder and neck, probably shielding his eyes from the light that shone through the living room windows. I close my phone and set it on my chest, not wanting to drop it and scare him. He let out a tired groan as he stretched and pulled closer to me, and I couldn’t help but giggle at the tickle of his face and breath on my neck.

He paused for a second once he heard it, finally realizing the position he was in, before giggling with me.

“Good morning,” his groggy voice spoke into my neck, tickling me even more, making me squirm and try to pull away at the feeling.

“Good morning, dead weight.” I exaggeratedly huffed out. He lifted his face and looked at me with half lidded, tired eyes and a cheeky grin before trying to push himself off of me without hurting me.

I took an exaggerated deep breath as I sat up, teasing him. He shook his head with a smile and yawned.

“By the way, I think Austin might be worse than paparazzi,” I said as I stretched, needing to loosen my cramped muscles from not being able to move them all night.

He gave me a confused look, so I told him to check Austin’s story. He took a minute to search for his phone. Finally finding it between the couch cushions, he typed in Austin’s username and checked, immediately laughing.

“Everyone’s gonna think we’re dating,” he chuckled, rubbing his face.

“I’ve never cared about fan speculation since they’ll grasp onto anything these days, but this is probably gonna cause some issues for my situation if I don’t clear the air.”

“Yeah..” he dragged out, “I mean, it’s no problem for me. If anything, this will definitely help keep the fan’s eyes off of you and Noah until you get everything situated.”

I thought about it for a moment, and he was right. Fans love digging into our personal lives, so if there wasn’t a distraction, I know rumors and stories would spread over how they see Noah and I interact. Hell, there's fans who think I’m with all of them, even my bandmates, so if they just focused on my so-called ‘relationship’ with Will, I won’t have to worry about them constantly talking about Noah and me.

“Honestly, this may help a lot of issues. As long as I inform mine and his band what’s actually happening, this will save us from a lot of heat on the internet.” I said after a few moments, “Oh! Speaking of, are you busy today?”

He thought for a moment, trying to get his tired brain to run its gears.

“Not that I know of, but I can also ask the guys,” he finally answered, suppressing a yawn.

“Would you be down to meet my boys? I just feel bad that I’m gonna be spending more of our break with you and not with them.” He let out a sleepy giggle after thinking about it for a second.

“Or, you can always just hang out with them? Without me?” he teased. I felt a blush creepy up to my cheeks, but not before playing it off and faking a gasp.

“You don’t want to hang out with me anymore?” I pulled an exaggerated pout. He instantly rolled his eyes with a tired smile.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” He said lazily, making me laugh.

“I’m kidding. I just figured that I’d hang out with you until you kicked me out since I probably won’t see you for a while after this, and the boys would love to meet you and possibly the rest of the band if they’re down.” A frown creeped up on his face as I spoke.

“Wait..You’re right. I won’t see you after this,” he whined, “Yeah, I’ll ask the guys if they wanna join, but I’m not letting you leave until you’re getting on that damn tour bus.”

“Does that mean you’re joining me when I go back to the hotel to change?” I asked, laughing.

“Yes.” he stated, bluntly, making me laugh more.

“Okay, let me text the boys, and then we can head over,” I chuckled out. He nodded and stood to go talk to his bandmates as I grabbed my phone and texted Finn.

Y/N- On a scale from 1 to 10, how excited would you and the boys be to hang out with Lorna Shore today?

Finnegan- ASKING THEM NOW OMGOMGOMG

I shook my head and laughed at his text. Finn wasn’t as big of a fan of them as I was, but when I played their music enough, you can’t not enjoy it a little. But then, I realized I may have to clarify something.

Y/N- I feel like this may be obvious, but this invitation is for you three only. I’m not in the mood for awkward conversations right now❤️

Finnegan- 🫡 Yes, maam

Y/N- …maybe Matt can come, too

Finnegan- He’s not at the house right now, so you should text him

Y/N- will do. I’ll let you know where we’re meeting up. Give me like 2 hours to head back to my hotel and change

Finnegan- 👀 so you spent the night?

Y/N- IN A HOUSE FULL OF 5 OTHER GUYS SO SHUT IT

I laughed as I closed out of our chat and opened Matt’s. I sent him a text, but he didn’t immediately respond, so I just closed my phone and got all my things together and waited for Will so we could head back to my hotel.

[arivsxq]

Meddle about chapter 3

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Theme: strangers to lovers, angsty shit

Warnings: smut, hookup, fwb, mdni, maybe slow updates

Word count: 4,6k+

Songs: Meddle about-Chase Atlantic

Heartbeat-Childish Gambino

A/N: Wrote a longer chapter this time as a little apology for the few people who waited so long. Sorry again but I try to upload more regularly this year:)

The next morning, I was running late. Again. I'd hit snooze one too many times, and now I was shoving books into my bag with a granola bar hanging from my mouth, cursing my existence. I barely had time to throw on a hoodie and sneakers before rushing out the door. It was the second day in a row where I looked like a homeless person. If my parents saw me like this they would definitely scream their guts out.

By the time I got to campus, I was already exhausted. The philosophy lecture hall was halfway across campus, and I knew if I stopped for coffee, I'd be even later. So, against my better judgment, I powered through, speed-walking like my life depended on it.

And that's when it happened.

One second, I was focused on not tripping over my own feet. The next, I slammed right into someone, sending both of us stumbling back.

"Oh, shit—"

I barely had time to process before strong hands gripped my arms, steadying me before I could fall flat on my ass.

And of course. Of course.

It was Jungkook.

Because why wouldn't it be?

He looked down at me, eyebrows raised in amusement. "You good?"

I blinked up at him, momentarily thrown off by how close we were. His hoodie was slightly oversized, sleeves covering part of his hands, and his dark hair was tousled like he'd just rolled out of bed. The morning light caught on the two piercings on the corner of his lips, and—

Nope. Absolutely not.

I stepped back quickly, clearing my throat. "Yeah. Fine. Totally great."

He gave me a look, like he didn't quite believe me, but he didn't push it. Instead, he smirked. "Running late?"

I huffed, adjusting my bag. "What gave it away?"

"The fact that you almost knocked me and yourself unconscious."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, please. You barely moved."

"Strong reflexes." He grinned. "Perks of being me."

I hated that I almost laughed.

Instead, I shook my head, moving past him. "I gotta go."

"Wait."

I paused, reluctantly turning back. "What?"

Jungkook tilted his head slightly, eyes scanning my face like he was debating something. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable yesterday," he said finally.

I blinked, caught off guard. "What?" I said again.

"The coffee thing." He shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I wasn't trying to push anything. Just... wanted to talk."

Guilt twisted in my stomach. I let out a slow breath, suddenly feeling very aware of how awkward I'd made everything.

"I know," I admitted. "I just had..." I hesitated. "two cups of coffee"

Jungkook studied me for a second before nodding. "Okay."

That was it. Just okay. No guilt-tripping, no passive-aggressive remarks. Just acceptance. It threw me off more than anything else. Before I could say something else—what, I didn't even know—Jungkook took a step back. "I'll see you in class," he said, and then he walked away, leaving me standing there like an idiot.

"wait-"

He turns around with a questioning look on his face.

"What about later? I-I mean... after the lectures. Only if you have time, we don't need to-"

"yeah, sure" he smiles and disappears after.

Did I just stutter???

***

By the time I slipped into my seat next to Carla, the professor had already started scribbling something on the board. I tried to act casual like I hadn't just made an absolute fool of myself five minutes ago, but Carla's sharp gaze immediately landed on me.

"You're late," she whispered, leaning in.

"Tell me something I don't know," I muttered, pulling out my iPad.

Carla ignored my bad mood, her eyes narrowing. "Why do you look like you just saw a ghost?"

I hesitated for half a second too long, and that was all she needed.

"Oh my god," she gasped, her voice a little too loud. "Is this about Jungkook?"

My entire body stiffened. "No," I lied instantly.

Carla's smirk grew. "So if I turn around right now, he's not gonna be looking at you?"

I refused to take the bait. "I don't care what he's doing."

Carla, being the absolute menace she was, twisted in her seat anyway. I heard her inhale sharply. "Oh. My. God."

I sighed. "Carla—"

"He's staring at you."

I groaned, dropping my forehead onto the desk. "I hate you."

Carla giggled. "Oh, babe, you love me."

I peeked up at her, only to find her grinning like she'd just won the lottery. I knew that look. It meant trouble.

"What did you do?" I whispered harshly.

"Nothing," she said, way too innocently. "I just think it's interesting that you rejected coffee yesterday but suddenly have plans after class today."

I glared at her. "How do you even know that?"

Carla rolled her eyes. "Please. I saw your face when you walked in. You look like someone who just did something completely out of character."

She wasn't wrong.

"Annnnddd I overheard Jungkook telling Namjoon"

I sighed, resigning myself to the fact that Carla would never let this go. "Fine. I might have... invited him to hang out."

Carla's jaw dropped. "You invited him? As in, willingly?"

"Would you keep your voice down?" I hissed, glancing around.

Carla's expression turned gleeful. "This is huge."

"It's really not."

"It is." She paused, then gasped. "Oh my god, do you like him?"

I choked. "Absolutely not."

Carla narrowed her eyes. "Liar."

"I literally just met him."

Carla smirked. "And yet, here we are."

I wanted to argue, but the professor shot us a pointed look, forcing Carla to finally shut up. I exhaled in relief and focused on the lecture, but my brain refused to cooperate. I was too aware of the fact that Jungkook was sitting just a few rows away.

And worse? I could feel him looking at me.

***

After class, I practically sprinted out of the lecture hall before Carla could interrogate me further. I had a break before my next class, and Jungkook was nowhere in sight. Maybe he'd forgotten about my invitation. Maybe he changed his mind. Maybe—

"Hey."

I nearly jumped out of my skin. Spinning around, I found Jungkook standing there, looking amused.

"Jesus," I muttered, clutching my chest. "You need to stop sneaking up on me."

He raised an eyebrow. "I literally just walked up."

I huffed. "Whatever."

Jungkook chuckled, then nodded toward the campus café. "Still down?"

I hesitated. "For what?"

His lips twitched. "To hang out? You did invite me, remember?"

I internally cringed. "Right. Yeah. Sure."

Jungkook gave me an amused glance but didn't push it. We made our way to the café in comfortable silence, and I tried not to overthink the fact that I was willingly spending time with him.

Inside, we grabbed drinks, him, an iced Americano; me, a caramel latte, and found a spot near the window. I wrapped my hands around my cup, suddenly unsure what to say.

Jungkook beat me to it. "So, what's your deal?"

I blinked. "Excuse me?"

He smirked. "You seem... hard to read."

I frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He shrugged. "You act like you don't care, but I don't think that's true."

I stared at him. "That's a bold assumption."

Jungkook sipped his coffee, unfazed. "Am I wrong?"

I opened my mouth to argue, then closed it. Annoyingly, he wasn't. I did care. I just hated admitting it.

Instead, I deflected. "And what about you? What's your deal?"

Jungkook tilted his head. "What do you mean?"

I gestured vaguely. "You just randomly show up at my friends' dinner, stare at me in class, and now you're analyzing my personality like it's a project."

He smirked. "So you did notice me staring."

I groaned "I walked into that one."

Jungkook laughed, a soft, genuine sound that caught me off guard. When I looked up, he was watching me, his expression more serious than before.

"For real, though," he said, voice quieter. "I think you're interesting."

I swallowed. "You don't even know me."

"Not yet," he said simply.

I didn't have a response to that.

Jungkook didn't press me for one. Instead, he leaned back in his chair, sipping his coffee like he had all the time in the world. I stared out the window, watching students hurry past, my thoughts a tangled mess.

"I think we would make great friends" he interrupts the silence.

I blinked at him, unsure if I had misheard. "Friends?"

Jungkook nodded, completely unfazed. "Yeah. You know, the normal kind. People who hang out, talk, maybe send each other stupid memes at 2 AM. Friends."

I squinted at him. "Do you usually pursue friendships with people who actively avoid you?"

He chuckled. "You haven't exactly been avoiding me."

I opened my mouth to argue, but he had a point. I could have ignored him and shut down every attempt he made to talk to me, but instead, here I was, sitting across from him, sharing coffee.

I sighed, stirring my drink absentmindedly. "You're persistent, I'll give you that."

"I prefer determined," he said, smirking.

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help the small smile tugging at my lips. "Fine. Friends."

Jungkook raised his cup like he was toasting. "Friends."

We fell into an easy conversation after that. Turns out, he was surprisingly easy to talk to. He told me about his photography projects, his love for late-night drives, and his weirdly specific obsession with collecting vintage film cameras. In return, I told him about my art major, my stress over exams, and my terrible habit of procrastinating until the last possible second.

"So basically," Jungkook said, resting his chin on his palm, "we're both disasters in different ways."

I snorted. "Yeah, pretty much."

The time passed quicker than I expected. Before I knew it, my break was almost over, and I had to get to my next class. I glanced at the time and groaned. "I gotta go."

Jungkook stretched, standing up. "I'll walk with you."

I hesitated for a second but didn't protest. We stepped out of the café, the campus buzzing with students rushing to their next classes. The air was crisp, the sun casting long shadows across the pavement.

As we walked, Jungkook glanced at me. "So, do I get a contact name in your phone now? Or am I still 'Unknown Number'?"

I huffed a laugh, pulling out my phone. "Fine. But if you send me dumb memes at 2 AM, I'm blocking you."

Jungkook grinned, typing his number into my phone. "Noted."

I saved his contact, glancing at him. "Happy now?"

He grinned wider. "Very."

As we reached the building where my class was, I turned to him. "Guess I'll see you later."

"Yeah," he said, stuffing his hands into his hoodie pockets. "Later."

I walked into the lecture hall, feeling oddly lighter than I had in days. Maybe having Jungkook around wouldn't be such a bad thing after all.

***

Who would've thought that four months later, Jungkook would be one of my closest friends? But here we were, sitting in his living room. My legs were stretched out over his, tangled in the most casual way, like we'd been doing this forever. His feet rested on the other end of the L-shaped couch, his laptop perched on his thighs as he absentmindedly scrolled through something.

The room was dimly lit, the only real light coming from the TV, playing some random movie neither of us were paying attention to. A forgotten bag of chips sat between us, and my half-empty iced coffee was precariously balanced on the armrest.

Jungkook suddenly let out a dramatic sigh, closing his laptop with a soft thud. "I'm so over this assignment."

Not even looking up from my phone I respond "You say that about every assignment."

"Because they all suck," he shot back, tossing his laptop onto the floor beside him. "Seriously, who thought writing an essay about 'the emotional depth of visual storytelling' was a good idea?"

"Uh, your professor?"

He gave me a flat look. "I refuse to acknowledge that man's existence."

I laughed, nudging his leg with my foot. "You just need a break. Wanna order food?"

Jungkook perked up instantly. "Now you're speaking my language."

"Pizza?"

"Obviously."

I reached for my phone to make a call but then I see a message from my father.

Father:"Were invited to dinner by the Kim's."

I roll my eyes. My thoughts get interrupted by Jungkook's voice calling me.

"What's with the eye-role?" he tries to tease.

"Just my father. We're invited for dinner by the Kim's" if my annoyed face doesn't tell what I think about the plans my voice definitely does.

"Which Kim's exactly?" Jungkook hesitates.

"Your smart ass friend Namjoon?"

"Oh these Kim's"

Jungkook smirked, leaning back into the couch. "So, what's the problem? Namjoon's cool."

I groaned, throwing my phone onto the coffee table. "Yeah, but his parents are the problem. And also mine but that's not the point. They're like... I don't know, fancy? Pretentious? The kind of people who judge you based on how well you hold a wine glass."

Jungkook chuckled. "So like your family"

"True but shut up"

He shrugged. "I mean, I could come as your emotional support."

I snorted. "Oh, sure. I'd love to see my father's face when I show up with you. That'd go over well."

"Hey, I can be classy." He sat up straighter, clearing his throat before saying in an exaggerated deep voice, "Good evening, Mr. Kim. A pleasure to see you again. The duck confit is simply exquisite."

I burst out laughing. "Oh my God, stop."

Jungkook grinned, clearly pleased with himself. "I'd fit right in."

"Yeah, until you start talking about video games or making fun of Namjoon's philosophy books."

"Fine, fine. But really, is it that bad?"

I sighed, rubbing my temples. "It's just... my dad has this weird thing about the Kim's. Mr. Kim and dad have a long history of business dealings and stuff. Like, they're this perfect family in his eyes, and I always feel like I have to act a certain way around them. You know, be 'proper' and 'respectable' or whatever. It's exhausting."

Jungkook nodded, his playful expression softening a little. "I get that. But hey, if it makes you feel any better, Namjoon's probably suffering through it too."

"He is" I sighed. "I know him since I was 6. This guy doesn't have a great poker face"

"You got this," Jungkook said, bumping his knee against mine. "And if it gets unbearable, just imagine them all in clown wigs. Helps me get through awkward situations."

"That explains a lot"

"Hey"

The rest of the evening passed in comfortable laziness. We ordered pizza, half-watched a movie, and talked about everything and nothing until it was late and I had to drag myself off the couch.

***

The moment I stepped into my walk-in closet at my parent's house, I knew I couldn't just throw on any outfit. My parents took these dinners seriously, and showing up in anything less than polished perfection was practically a crime in their eyes. So, instead of my usual laid-back style, I went for a sleek black dress, nothing too extravagant, but just enough to say, yes, I belong in this ridiculous world of power plays and social niceties. A pair of delicate diamond earrings and designer heels completed the look.

By the time I made it downstairs, my mother gave me an approving glance, my father barely looked up from his watch, and we were ushered into the car.

When we arrived at the Kim estate, a sprawling mansion that made even our home seem modest, I sighed inwardly. The moment we stepped through the grand entrance, Namjoon and his parents greeted us with the usual warmth laced with underlying expectations. My mother was already deep in conversation with Mrs. Kim about some charity gala, while my father and Mr. Kim exchanged firm handshakes and business talk.

And then, just as I was about to zone out, my phone buzzed in my clutch.

Jungkook: "How's the royal banquet?"

I bit back a smile and texted back.

Me: "Currently contemplating my existence between a five-course meal and a conversation about hedge funds."

Jungkook: "Sounds thrilling. You need a rescue?"

Me: "Always"

Jungkook: "I'll send a helicopter"

I rolled my eyes but felt strangely lighter. If nothing else, at least I had Jungkook's sarcasm to get me through the night. The dining room was an opulent display of wealth, all crystal chandeliers, gold-trimmed dinnerware, and a floral centerpiece so large it practically needed its own zip code. I took my designated seat between my mother and Namjoon, the latter offering a polite smile as I settled in. Across from me, his younger sister, Jihye, was already scrolling through her phone beneath the table, clearly just as thrilled to be here as I was.

"So," Mr. Kim started, his deep voice carrying over the soft clinking of silverware, "I hear the expansion in Singapore is progressing well."

My father nodded, always the composed businessman. "Yes, though we had to make some last-minute adjustments to accommodate new regulations. Nothing we can't handle."

I tuned out almost instantly. Business talk at these dinners was as predictable as the perfectly plated gourmet meals in front of us. The first course, a delicate amuse-bouche that looked more like art than food, was placed before me, and I forced myself to take a bite, despite my complete lack of appetite.

I stole a glance at Namjoon, who seemed equally unenthusiastic. Despite his reputation for being a genius, he was, at the core, still just a guy who had been shoved into this world whether he liked it or not.

"How's university treating you?" he asked, voice low enough that it didn't interrupt the ongoing corporate negotiations happening to our left.

"Oh, you know," I sighed, "thriving under capitalism, questioning my existence, the usual."

Namjoon chuckled. "Sounds about right. Jungkook keeping you entertained?"

I nearly choked on my water. I cleared my throat, trying to play it cool. "Why would you assume that?"

Namjoon arched a knowing brow. "Because he's Jungkook. And you're... you."

I narrowed my eyes. "Care to elaborate?"

Before he could, Mrs. Kim turned her attention toward me, her carefully poised smile in place. "Darling, your mother was telling me about your latest art project. How wonderful that you still find time for such creative pursuits."

My lips twitched. "Yes, still clinging to the last remnants of my soul."

My mother shot me a warning look, but Mrs. Kim merely laughed, as if I had said something utterly charming rather than laced with sarcasm.

"Well, creativity is important," she said smoothly, sipping her wine. "Though, of course, I'm sure you're also considering more... practical applications for the future."

There it was. The inevitable nudge toward "real-world" aspirations, the ones that involved boardrooms, mergers, and an existence carefully molded into the expectations of high society.

I didn't get the chance to respond before my phone buzzed in my lap again.

"Uh yeah but I actually want to presume art"

My mother lets out a fake laugh and says "Young people and their imagination. Of course, she has other plans for the future. After all, she is the heir of a million dollar company"

Bitch.

She shoots me one last look before I look at my phone.

Jungkook: "Tell me you've at least been served something edible."

Me: "If by edible, you mean a piece of asparagus decorated like a museum exhibit, then yes."

Jungkook: "Tragic. Need me to smuggle in a burger?"

Me: "Tempting. You'd get past security?"

Jungkook: "For you? I'd find a way."

A warmth spread through my chest, but before I could type a response, my mother's voice cut through my thoughts. "Darling, put your phone away. It's rude during dinner."

I bit back a sigh, slipping my phone back into my clutch and returning to my untouched plate. Across from me, Jihye smirked knowingly, clearly having caught on.

The second course arrived,some kind of seafood dish with a name too long to remember, and the conversation steered toward future prospects. Mr. Kim, ever the strategist, turned to Namjoon with a measured look.

"Have you given more thought to your role in the company after graduation?"

Namjoon's smile was tight. "Of course. Still weighing my options."

"Options?" Mr. Kim repeated, clearly unimpressed. "Your path has always been clear."

I didn't miss the way Namjoon's grip tightened around his fork. I felt a sudden, sharp pang of sympathy. The weight of expectation in a family like this wasn't just heavy, it was suffocating.

"I think Namjoon should have the space to explore his interests," I interjected, drawing attention back to me. "After all, wouldn't you rather have a CEO who actually enjoys his work?"

There was a beat of silence before Mrs. Kim gave a tight-lipped smile. "Of course, dear. But responsibility is a privilege, not a choice."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. "Right. How could I forget?"

"Y/N!" My father warns me but I could care less.

As the courses continued, so did the thinly veiled expectations, the strategic questions, the careful way my mother kept nudging me to say the right things, to act the part.

By the time dessert arrived, I was more than ready to escape.

Another buzz.

Jungkook: "Still alive?"

Me: "Barely. Might fake an emergency. Thoughts?"

Jungkook: "Dramatic fainting. Classic. I'll give you a 9/10 if you commit to it."

I stifled a laugh, but Namjoon caught it, shaking his head in amusement. "Tell Jungkook he's a bad influence."

"Oh, he already knows."

As coffee was served, my mother turned to me with a pointed look. "We'll be attending the charity gala next weekend. You'll be expected to join...and your manners too."

I sighed internally but nodded. "Of course. Wouldn't miss it."

She smiled, satisfied, and returned to her conversation.

Jungkook: "What are your plans for next weekend?"

Me: "Apparently, I'm being paraded at a gala."

Jungkook: "Sounds fancy."

Me: "Sounds exhausting."

Jungkook: "I could always crash it."

I hesitated for a split second.

Me: "You wouldn't."

Jungkook: "Oh, baby. Don't challenge me."

I stared at the message, something dangerously close to excitement bubbling under my ribs.

Jungkook at a high-society gala? Now that would be a sight to see. As the evening dragged on, my patience wore thin. Just as I thought I might actually lose my mind listening to another story about market trends, Mr. Kim turned to me.

"Have you given any thought to internships? I know your father has some excellent connections. It would be a wonderful opportunity."

I hesitated. "I have some ideas, but nothing concrete yet."

My father, who had been mostly silent on my personal matters, decided now was the time to weigh in. "She needs to start focusing on more stable prospects. The art thing is fine as a hobby, but—"

There it was. The inevitable dismissal of my interests, as if they were just a passing phase. I clenched my jaw, forcing a polite nod instead of the biting retort I wanted to unleash.

Before I could say anything, Namjoon smoothly interjected, "Actually, Jungkook was telling me about an artist he's been following lately. Some really impressive work."

I shot him a look of gratitude. Namjoon, ever the diplomat, had just steered the conversation away from my impending existential crisis.

Mr. Kim hummed in approval. "Ah, Jungkook. Always an interesting one."

My mother's lips pursed ever so slightly. She wasn't the biggest fan of Jungkook, something about him being too carefree, too unpredictable. The irony, considering how much they admired Namjoon, who happened to be one of Jungkook's closest friends.

As the night wore on, I found myself feeling less suffocated, despite the setting. Maybe it was Namjoon's subtle interventions, or maybe it was knowing that, on the other side of my phone screen, Jungkook was keeping me grounded in my own way.

By the time we finally left the Kim estate, I let out a breath of relief. The car ride home was silent, my parents satisfied with another successful evening of networking but also angry at my behavior.

As soon as I was back in my room, I collapsed onto my bed and checked my phone again.

Jungkook: "You made it out?"

Me: "Against all odds."

Jungkook: "Proud of you. Wanna celebrate your survival with a coffe at my place"

I hesitated for a moment, then smiled.

Me: "Fine. But only if you make breakfast too"

Jungkook: "Why? We can buy something on the campus"

Me:"okay see you in class"

Jungkook:"Ugh fine, I'll make breakfast. Anything for the Chanel princess"

I set my phone down, feeling a little lighter. Maybe these dinners would never be easy, but at least I had people who made them bearable.

***

The next morning, I woke up to the soft ping of my phone, signaling a message from Jungkook.

Jungkook: "I'm up. Suffering. Hope you're happy."

I grinned, stretching lazily before replying.

Me: "Very. Now get to work, chef."

Jungkook: "Bossy. I like it."

Shaking my head, I rolled out of bed and grabbed a change of clothes before heading to his apartment. I had barely knocked when the door swung open, revealing Jungkook in an oversized hoodie, his hair still messily tousled from sleep.

"Morning, Chanel Princess," he greeted, stepping aside to let me in.

"Morning, Michelin-star chef," I smirked, peering over his shoulder. "Where's my gourmet breakfast?"

Jungkook scoffed, leading me into the kitchen where a pan of slightly burnt pancakes sat on the stove. "Listen, I never promised quality."

I raised an eyebrow. "You're lucky I'm too hungry to care."

As I grabbed a plate, he leaned against the counter, watching me with an easy smile. "So, how bad was the aftermath?"

I sighed, stabbing at my pancake. "Silent treatment from my parents. My mother is convinced I'll grow out of my 'art phase' and my dad thinks I need a reality check."

Jungkook frowned. "And by reality check, they mean...?"

"Corporate servitude." I rolled my eyes. "Yay, nepotism."

He snorted. "Yeah, you don't really scream 'corporate drone' to me."

I pointed my fork at him. "Exactly! But try telling them that."

There was a beat of silence before Jungkook said, "You know, you don't actually have to do what they want."

I looked up, meeting his gaze. It was such a simple statement, yet it held so much weight.

"Yeah, well, try convincing them of that."

Jungkook shook his head. "No, I mean it. You're the one who has to live with your choices. Not them."

I swallowed, unsure how to respond. Because as much as I wanted to believe that, the pressure was real. The expectations, the responsibilities, the constant reminder that I had a role to play in this carefully curated world my parents had built.

Jungkook must've sensed my hesitation because he reached across the counter, lightly tapping my wrist. "Hey. You have options. You just have to be brave enough to take them."

I stared at him, something warm blooming in my chest. He always made things sound so simple, so possible.

Before I could overthink it, I sighed dramatically. "It's not that easy."

Jungkook grinned. "Oh come on. If your parents disown you, you can sleep on my couch"

I scoffed. "I think I've suffered enough for your amusement."

He laughed, shaking his head. "Nah, you keep things interesting."

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't fight the smile tugging at my lips. For now, the weight of last night felt a little lighter, and the future was a little less suffocating. At least I had people like Jungkook in my corner.

[genderqueerdykes]

So uhhhhh this might be a little weird but I have memory issues and this has been bugging me for a week... I'm pretty? sure I might have blocked you on an old account when some femboy discourse stuff was going here and left your server that you had at the time? Like I did finally confirm it was you we were remembering because I know I bought a pinkie pie kandi bracelet from you off etsy (not sure if before or after the disc horse, bc we're very much a "everyone deserves to be able to survive and should not lose access to support no matter what") which for the record we love.

And like it wasn't personal, at worst we may have made a vent post at the time bc it's an identity important to us and literally no judgement whatsoever

But the reason we're even bringing it up is that we kinda feel guilty for the block even though we know it's okay to block anyone at anytime for any reason, especially since now that we saw you feel differently we're just interacting like normal and stuff

which... tbf might be trauma-related ocd from some OTHER like actually really bad internet Tumblr discourse stuff but yeah uh. I think it would help to apologize even if it's not necessary, because that's been a healthy coping mechanism for us in the past (not a compulsive one, the compulsion is more "you should never talk to them again bc you're evilbad and they don't deserve to have to interact with you") so uh, we're sorry and we think you're cool and would love to interact more and be friends (if that's not overly parasocial ahhhh x'D)

hey, that's okay, you're allowed to block people for your own safety. i don't keep track of who does and doesn't have me blocked. if someone wants to block me, that's their right, it don't take it personally. you do not have to apologize for blocking me at any point. that's not something you ever have to apologize to someone for, but i totally get why you would want to do that to give yourself some form of closure. that makes sense to me

i understand why you would've blocked over that. when i was running that server, i was friends with some very aggressive people who were adamant on policing the usage of the word femboy, so i apologize that things got so shitty about that. other staff members that were involved were very, very pushy and i ended up feeling extremely alienated from that server because i found myself disagreeing with a lot of the rules that got put into place. i especially started feeling uncomfortable because other staff members were very transandrophobic and it was causing me a lot of self hatred for being a trans man at the time. that discord server was not good for my mental health, which is why i stopped interacting with it before leaving altogether.

it took me a while to realize i did not agree with those people and that the fighting over who "gets" to use the term is so fucking petty and stupid, but i see it now and that shit was dumb. i can see why you would've been upset and left and blocked over that. at the time, plenty of people were mad about it and they had every right to be. i wasn't treating certain people right. i left that server a while back because i just got so tired of how it was being run and did not have the energy to try to rectify it due to homelessness and housing insecurity at the time. it was way too authoritarian in terms of who was allowed to identify as certain terms for me to continue to give it my stamp of approval. it was like, the exact opposite of what i wanted in a queer discord server.

thank you, though, i appreciate it. i know that this won't make the thoughts stop but you truly are allowed to block whoever you want or need to for your own safety. it's not a personal attack on them. it's a way to prevent unnecessary conflict. i fully believe in blocking when and where necessary. i block when i need to, too. but thank you so much, i appreciate it. i apologize for how shitty i was in the past about people using that term. i got pulled into the wrong crowd and i'm very glad i'm not a part of that anymore.

you're more than welcome to send a DM, and i'm glad you still like the bracelet! that must've been quite a while ago, i hope it's still holding up well! if you ever need any repairs or anything, let us know :)

[loveshard]

stephen blinked, caught completely off guard by skylar's words, though he really shouldn't have been. of course, she would bring up the library. why should he expect anything different? he couldn't escape it, even if she hexed him right then and there. it just wasn't how he'd expected the conversation to begin. feeling foolish and trapped, he took a breath, trying to steady himself. "i wouldn't blame you if you did—if you were mad enough to," he finally managed to say, "i deserve it, really." in a way, he thought, it would have made them even. after all that had happened, both of them had reasons to be angry; it would be a simple way to level the playing field. the idea of her hexing him flitted across his mind, tempting and almost humorous. if she were to make him bald in retaliation, at least it would be an immediate, tangible consequence—an easy resolution that could sidestep the messy, complicated details of the past week.

the student held his head high, brows furrowed together; ready to face the music, once and for all. "i wasn't a very good friend to you. there isn't anything you need to apologize about," stephen continued, shaking his head as he stepped toward the bed. "i'm the one who should be sorry," he argued. he ran a hand through his damp hair, exposing more of his chest in the process, which was less bare than the last time she'd probably seen it. his once gangly frame now carried more definition—lean muscle stretched beneath golden skin, his chest dusted with faint strands of hair that hadn't been there before. it was a far cry from the boy she used to tease mercilessly in the back of wizard wheezes. while not entirely vain about his appearance, he was much more confident in showing himself off.

knowing skylar like the back of his hand, she wasn't going to let this go. that wasn't who she was. he had to keep talking, to explain himself, but the weight of her stare was making it difficult to form coherent thoughts." sky, i—i never wanted to make you feel weird," he stated, his voice soft. his pulse quickened again, but it wasn't just nervousness. it was something else that made his chest tighten. "and by being weird, i've made things weird, and i hate it because you're my best friend, and i hate not talking to you." he paused, taking a shaky breath as he searched her face for any sign of how she was feeling. "i missed you," he blurted, the words spilling out before he could second-guess himself, "like, a lot."

skylar had figured stephen was avoiding her. it's why she's basically cornered him right then, making a last ditch effort to stop from this becoming serious. there were only so many times that he could've left their classes on time before she would've noticed something. but most of all? it just felt weird to not spend her hours after classes being with him. if she weren't at quidditch practice, she was usually with her best friend, so the absence of him was obvious and painful. some of their mutual friends noted it too, asking her where he'd been. it felt strange for her to reply with 'i don't know'.

even then, despite the elephant in the room, the easy banter between them felt like a breath of fresh air. for a split second, things seemed to be okay, that things were back to normal. but his lack of clothes reminded her once again of the situation, because suddenly she wanted to stare too, wanted to rake her eyes over his chest just like he did on her lips. ( when did he get so lean? ) and then he mentioned being naked too which didn't help at all because the mental image of it had her face burning. "yeah! starkers! uh- yeah, that would've been . . ." she trailed off, her next words almost a whisper, "bad."

"what?" sky's eyebrows raised, naked stephen thoughts flung to the side for now from confusion. "why would i hex you?" she looked up from her lap, back to his face, resisting the urge to look any lower than his neck, cheeks a deep scarlet, "i'm not here to hex you, what made you think that?" she balled her fists, heart picking up in pace, breath growing short. well, might as well be straight about it. "i'm here to apologize, for the other day? at the library?"

[sherryfortheoldlady]

...so how exactly am I supposed to wait 4 years?

[weezerlvr228]

It's giving the...main character syndrome. like who tf does she think she is??? Y/N???

NO OH MY GOSH ANON. LET ME TELL YOU. LET ME FRIGGIN TELL YOU.

[cinnamorollcrybaby]

Doting

Tags: jjk men as dads, tooth-rotting fluff, comfort drabbles

Synopsis: How the JJK men treat you while pregnant (spoiler warning- they dote on you.)

An: This is my formal apology for writing Nanami angst on the “Baby’s first words” post 😔 it will never happen again (can we stop with the death threats now?)

SATORU • SUGURU • TOJI • SUKUNA • NANAMI

SATORU

Oh, your loving husband is all over you while you’re pregnant. He genuinely has such a cute fascination with all the changes your body is going through. He seriously thinks you’re so strong for carrying his heir.

He loves rubbing your bump. In fact, he will always be touching it in some form or fashion while you two are together. When he’s away on missions, he has you send him pictures and updates on your pregnancy as if anything major has changed in a couple of days.

You best believe he is ready to indulge you on your every craving, no matter how strange. It’s three a.m and you’re crying because you need that specific brand of chicken wings and a can of whip cream? He’s heading to the store immediately to fetch whatever you tell him to.

He genuinely worries about being a good dad. Many nights he lays his head on your bump and talks to you about how teaching didn’t come naturally to him. He wasn’t born knowing how to meet people where they’re at. He use to expect people to be able to meet him on his level. He worries that he may inadvertently put a lot of pressure on his kid, and that’s the last thing he wants due to how he was raised. He just wants his kid to be a kid.

He’s the best, most loving and compassionate dad to your baby, more than you could ever hope for. Even if teaching didn’t come to him naturally, being a father did.

SUGURU

He’s such a “sit down and let me do it for you” while you’re pregnant. He cooks, cleans, works, and tends to you completely throughout your pregnancy.

Suguru gets hyper fixated on your health during pregnancy. He only feeds you the yummiest and healthiest foods while you’re pregnant. He encourages for you to sit on the yoga ball and do (very) light exercises. He just wants the best for you and his baby.

Whenever I said he tends to you, I genuinely mean he tends to you. He’ll gently brush your hair at night time, rub your back when your belly is becoming heavy to carry around, serve your breakfast, lunch, and dinner in bed, carries around emesis bags and breath mints for if you get morning sickness while you two are out.

This man is the king of enforcing your boundaries to people when they don’t listen. That really annoying family member that insists on being there for the birth even though you’ve already explained to them that you want this to be an experience for just you and Geto? Yeah, he’s made it very clear to them that they will not be at the birth if they want to be in your kid’s life.

He is absolutely not afraid to hurt feelings if it means his wife and future child are safe and cared for. He really don’t give a fuck who anyone else is. You and his child are first priority.

TOJI

Toji is definitely the type to express his love and devotion for you in other ways than the most conventional methods.

He is so incredibly gentle while you’re pregnant. He doesn’t rile you up as much or play fight with you anymore. He constantly reminds himself that you’re carrying another life inside you and that you have enough on your plate.

This man… whew does he love seeing you pregnant. Toji’s the type of man to feel so feral when he looks at you heavily pregnant with his kid.

He adores your body. He’ll rub lotion all over you and oils to help your skin accommodate to the stretch of carrying a kid. He massages your body and absolutely worships it while he’s rubbing the lotion and oil on you.

Your breasts are sore? He’ll gently massage them until they feel better. Your back hurts? He’d be the type to lift your bump up and take the weight off you for as long as you ask him to so you can feel relaxed for a few minutes.

And look this is probably TMI but like, if you got a clogged milk duct due to breastfeeding, Toji would unfortunately be the type of man to fix that issue with his mouth. i’m sorry but he would.

Final thing is, you better believe that he doesn’t allow anyone to get too close to you. He is so unbelievably protective over you while you’re pregnant. If he could, he’d lock you up at home to prevent anyone from getting close to you.

SUKUNA

On the outside, he acts very nonchalant and unbothered by your pregnancy. On the inside, he is constantly plagued by the thought that your body may not be able to carry his heir. The thought of losing you or his child haunts him.

He will secretly observe and take notes on your body and how it is changing. If he catches you expressing any sort of short windedness, he will immediately send you off to bed rest. Though, you’re usually able to convince him to take you off of it by the next day.

The only servant he trusts to tend to you is Uraume. No one else in his court is allowed to be anywhere near you unless he gives specific instructions. Still, he hates leaving you in the care of Uraume. He trusts them, but he wants to be the one to take care of you.

He loves holding your body close to him at night. All four arms are wrapped around you and holding you closely. Since he doesn’t need much sleep, he will stay awake rubbing on your tummy all night long. One time, he felt the baby moving in your stomach while you were asleep. He was so intrigued that he woke you up and told you to “make them do it again”.

Now, he will randomly approach you at any given time while you’re heavily pregnant and hold his hand out so he can feel his baby moving around inside of you. It soothes his worry.

During birth, Sukuna was a complete mess. The amount of blood lost during birth fucking terrified him. He was panicking and yelling at anyone to do something to save you, even while everyone was assuring him that you’re okay and this was natural.

After 9 long excruciating months of extreme worry and constant fear, he finally feels peace when he’s cradling a newborn in his arm and a sleeping wife in the other arm. All of his hard work to protect you paid off he thinks.

NANAMI

Oh, to be pregnant by the king of domestic love himself.

Nanami is the type of man to immediately start working on a nursery for you as soon as you reveal to him that you’re pregnant. He immediately changes the guest bedroom into a nursery that you design for your little baby.

He reads up on all the parenting books and articles. He’s constantly compiling things to either do or to not do during pregnancy and even while raising a kid.

Like Geto, he tends to your every need. He is a total house husband all while working 40 hours a week. When he’s at work, he is constantly calling and texting you to make sure that you’re okay and taking care of yourself, but let’s be fr he literally did everything for you before he even left for work (meal prepped for you, set out your clothes for you, put out all your self care items in case you want to bathe).

When you express concerns of your body getting bigger to him, he does everything in his power to show you that he loves and respects your body for creating life. He literally cherishes and worships your body for hours if you let him.

Like Toji, Nanami is protective over you. He constantly has an arm around you if you two are in public, and he watches everyone who dares to get close to you like a hawk. If he gets a bad vibe about anyone, he’s immediately stepping in front of you and taking over the conversation.

Nanami is the best partner to have during birth. His reading of articles during your pregnancy really paid off. He is supportive without being overbearing. He listens to your needs and tends to you without question. Constant praise and encouragement while you’re giving birth. The moment he gets to snuggle with you and the baby is the moment he realizes that he cultivated the life of his dreams. He has the family he always wanted.

[sincerecinnamon]

My mom doesn't understand why I'm so cold to me, but I just immediately react colder and less open to people who won't let me express my emotions. If you want me to be open and all puppies and rainbows to you, then don't crush every bit of hope I have because you don't see a point in having it. Don't insult my taste constantly. Don't yell at me for feeling emotions. Don't blatantly disrespect my boundaries to the point where I'm literally in tears just because you think you should be able to poke me! Don't make me feel like although you haven't physically abused me, any day may be the day you just decide to because the emotional abuse hit me as about hard as backhanding me!

Just treat me like a human. Then I'll be open.

Don't treat me like an ai like my classmates. Then I'll be open.

Just treat me like my feelings are valid, unlike pretty much everyone but two people irl and my tumblr mutuals. Then, surprise surprise, I might not hate myself as much as I do.

consider: teenagers aren’t apathetic about everything they’re just used to you shitting all over whatever they show excitement about