#i need to keep practicing and get better at it
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remxedmoon · 3 days ago
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so all you need to do right now is disappear.
HHHHAPPY ISATVERSARY EVERYONE. here’s redraws for every single battle cg in the game. 36 drawings this time around, with 11 of those being custom (though admittedly a good portion of those are edits). combined with the portrait redraws i made back in september, i’ve made 114 redraws for this project! jesus christ! just like those redraws, these are completely free to use!! as long as i’m credited and it’s not for commercial purposes, go wild!! do whatever you want!!!
no i didn’t make these for isat’s 1 year anniversary this is just wildly good timing.
i genuinely can’t fit all of these cgs in one post even with the 30 image limit on browser, but i’ll still try to fit Most of them below the cut (without making this post horrifically long), along with some notes that might be important 👍
okay! once again, i labeled all of the custom art as such in the drive, but if you want a full list, the customs are hatless siffrin jackpot, bonnie jackpot, bonnie special attack, bigfrin attack, and a bunch of alts which are definitely not related to any projects i’ve been thinking about don’t worry about it. and out of those customs, only like. 3 of them are actually completely from scratch.
while i did my absolute best to keep the aspect ratios completely the same as the originals, there’s 3 exceptions that i just couldn’t get to work.
isabeau’s hair in his special attack cg wouldn’t fit in frame if i kept things completely accurate to the og, so i moved his cg down a bit. it shouldn’t cause any issues with modding or anything, it’ll just appear slightly lower than it does in game. alas…
isabeau’s sleeve and mirabelle’s hair made their jackpot sprites a little larger than the originals? i’m hoping this doesn’t have too much of an effect (since the jackpot sprites have inconsistent sizes) but i can’t test this myself unfortunately. aaa feel free to let me know on discord if any problems arise!!
i managed to fix these, so they aren’t going to cause problems now, but my original drawings for mirabelle and siffrin in the final attack scene were a pain in the ass to fix. mirabelle’s sprite was slightly too talk to fit in frame and siffrin’s hat whacked bonnie in the face while i was editing everyone together. i’m only mentioning this because it took like an hour and a half to fix them and finish the scene.
all that aside, these were a fucking BLAST to work on. apparently this ended up taking 57 hours over exactly 10 days. which is a little worrying if you do the math on that but somehow i have not burnt myself out. i will be doing enemies at some point!!! but probably not for a little bit. i think my friends will actually kill me if i don’t take a break.
once again, happy birthday isat. you’ve ruined my life and i wouldn’t have it any other way (silly).
also, on an actual serious note, this little timeloop game has genuinely changed my life for the better? you guys are probably sick of hearing it at this point (or maybe not, i don’t talk about myself That Much. i hope), but i was practically a ghost for about 2 years before joining this fandom. it’s a little surreal to suddenly have friends (plural!!!) and people who Care about me, or even know i exist, honestly. it’s weird!! in a good way!!!
i don’t think i would’ve ever come back to social media if this community wasn’t so welcoming. i’ve met a lot of really great people through this game!!! so, uh, thank you isat, i guess. here’s to another year.
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deathbxnny · 2 days ago
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Can you do how the arcane characters would react to you having a Panic attack/panick attacks
Arcane characters reacting to you having a panic attack! | Caitlyn, Sevika, Jinx, Vi x Gn!Reader
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Thank you for your request, Anon! I absolutely loved writing this, so I hope you'll enjoy it!<33
Content: Panic attacks, fluff, swearing, established relationships, sfw
Reader has no set pronouns.
((Not proofread))
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》CAITLYN
Her first instinct is to immideatly take you somewhere safe and private when she notices the panic attack approaching. She has very good intuition and has observed you for long enough to know your cues and signs, but sometimes even her own senses about you fail her during acute attacks that come out of nowhere. This doesn't mean that you can't rely on her to take care of you anyway.
"Hey, hey... let's breathe together, okay? Alright. Deep breathe in... hold it... and now release slowly... good job, let's do it again."
She's very quick to react to your needs and usually tries to regulate your breathing first before anything else, as that's how she learned to deal with them in her medical training. Caitlyn will also try and keep some distance in between you two in case you need space and only come closer once you're ready for that. She's very gentle and patient, as she soothes away your fears and worries.
Later on, she'll gently hold you and spoil you with nice food whilst you finally calm down and rest. Cait won't ever push you to tell her what triggered you, but will encourage you to tell her how she can help you better next time. Something she'll probably write down somewhere for future reference for better efficiency.
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》SEVIKA
The first time it happens to you around her, she'll admittedly be a little surprised. It's not like she hadn't seen panic attacks before, but she simply just never had to deal with them before. With that said, her first instinct is to wonder if someone had bothered you and, if so, how quick she can beat them up for hurting you like this. The last thing she wants is for someone to ruin that beautiful smile of yours, and the sight of you suffering like that makes her feel uneasy.
"Alright, tell me what you need, and I'll do it for you right now. I just... fuck, tell me how to help you, sweetheart."
Sevika will lean down to your level after also taking you somewhere private so that she can let her guard down in peace and focus on you. She's not good at comforting people no matter who you are, and she's certainly also not the most affectionate person out there. But she knows to keep her distance and focus on what you need from her in that moment. Your hyperventilating and short breaths worry her, but that's nothing she can't handle with some direction from you.
After the panic attack blows over, she'll demand a detailed list of what exactly she should do better next time. She doesn't like being unprepared, especially when it comes to your care and well-being.
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》JINX
She has memorized absolutely everything about you and is the first person to notice when a panic attack is coming up, which makes her the best helper out there at that moment. Jinx immideatly springs into action and brings you to her hideout, where she knows things are safe and sound. No one can hurt you here, especially not with her around. She'll sit on the ground with you and take your hands in her own carefully. The girl doesn't make any sudden moves and just observes every reaction you make very closely, practically analyzing them to know what to do next. And her voice would be so calm and soothing whilst she speaks.
"It's alright, cuddlebug. No one's laying a hand on ya whilst I'm here... so let's just breathe together."
Jinx doesn't want you to feel alone whilst you're going through this and will be right there with you until the last of your tears have been shed. Afterward, she'll either cuddle you to sleep or get you something nice to eat. Either way, you're being treated like royalty by her, just because she doesn't want you to feel like she did when she still had to suffer through everything all on her own. Having you here is a blessing, and taking care of you was a way to pay you back for it.
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》VI
Despite what people may think, Vi's intuition about other people has never failed her. She always feels so deeply for others. It isn't all too surprising when she is quick to notice your mood shifting drastically out of nowhere. Once the panic attacks start, she'll have enough past experiences to take care of you as well as she can. It may not always be perfect due to her inability to express her love and affection all too well in moments of panic, but she'll still pull through for you. Getting you out of danger and into a more secluded area, she'll wrap her jacket around your shoulders and try soothing your quick breathing.
"Hey, hey, hey, let's calm down, okay? I'm right here. Nothing can hurt you."
She may honestly slightly panic herself, especially as seeing you so distraught messes with her own emotions, too. Vi hates to see you suffer, and the last thing she wants is for you to potentially get hurt if you don't calm down.
Vi will most likely ask you what she can do better next time as well, since she secretly feels a bit disappointed in herself for not being able to do more for you. But she's open to learning how to be perfect for you next time, that's for sure.
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nerd-party · 3 days ago
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ill try to answer them all:
genevieve, and I like it!
Yep! I can't draw but I do acting and singing
Yes unfortunately
be on stage as a job
Will Campos waved at me once
not right now, my legs are too fucked
being overlooked: seen but ignored for someone else who is just as good/worse than me
Barret Wilbert weed
I can sing, do card tricks, and I can walk incredibly quietly (ninja style)
absolutely fucking not, just TRY waking me up before 10am at the weekend
Only for bf/gfs but I am down for a nickname
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA YES
I don't watch shows so I'll list one show and movies: good omens, red white and royal blue, the princes bride
not really lol
Me and my friends from all across my friend groups sitting in an oak tree eighty feet high, smoking weed and passing round a bottle of wine that never emptied. We watched the snow fall and the sun rise and it was literally perfect.
nope
nope again
nope x3
unfortunately I am a social butterfly but I wish I could just be on my own sometimes fr
yep! Never used to be but I guess I'm popular now
bite my nails
I always forget I have mascara on so I rub my eyes and I look stupid- I feel open to attack.
Jon if it's a boy, Elisa if it's a girl, and backup name of Ollie/Yasmin/Jasmine
dont have one but DAMN Andrew Garfield fine
music
Dogs but I do love cats
Literally tumbles my only social. I guess ao3?
@valkzzheart
brother, sister, mum, dad. Pretty standard shit
chocolate 🤤
Yep!
YES I LOVE ROLLERCOASTERS
yep, quite well
I have a. DETAILED PLAN. if y'all want me to tell it exactly lmk and I'll divulge my master plan.
yes, a few
Yep!
Pink/blue!
England!!! TOP BINS MATE OAYYYY
Any musical theatre artist!! Or Conan Gray
yes!! It's a big dream of mine but I don't wanna be super famous
Yes I love dresses but I wish it was warmer where I live so I can wear them more
popular from wicked / astronomy by Conan Gray
talking about it in person yes (especially with parents) online no, actually doing it would be a no
like 12?
Yes I do it all the time, Im in a shooting club
Nope!!
i love horror!!
According to my friends yes and I think I'm good too
one time I got really mad at my parents because I was sent away from the dinner table in my old home so I went upstairs and flushed a whole toilet roll down the bog
pretty exhausted
Yes I was actually
i never used to be able to dance but I can now
Biting my nails again
Yes!! I bleached it just so I could dye it
Blue
ferret
Onstage once yeah but it wasn't my fault (mic cut out, I got made fun of)
Yes!
lots!
My main friend group is GAE 🏳️‍🌈
drama
None
sometimes? It varies
pet sematary (1989) FANTASTIC
Not on TV but in podcasting: Normally 'Ly Oak-Swallows-Garcia-Li-Wilson-Marlowe-Swift-The-Unworthy is just like me fr
need to be at the top and extreme competitiveness I force myself not to think about, plus my extreme feelings about fairness
hiking the mountains and going around the world to beautiful places
If I would never die I would start committing crimes
singing aloud onstage and around the house to practice
who I became friends with would change ASAP and my class too
yes absolutely
Late October
My room with all my DND stuff
Did my singing competition auditions!!
an astrophysicist
A stable career and a consistent home life
I usually speak up, I don't think I have a moment like this
I have to get better at everything.
I feel like that already with how many extracurriculars I'm doing bruh 😭
seeing the sights bro
Houses for me and my friends/family, stable education funds for me, my friends, my kids, my family and all our kids. Keep people safe from bankruptcy
The past, instantly. Live in the 80s and 70s forever
a love of acting and helping others
same one from earlier- hanging with the boys committing crimes!!
The woods would be nice but if get bored. The city
Nope. There's no afterlife. It just ends.
my year 6 teacher was the GOAT
playing Lego with my friend from nursery, Aoife.
Einstein so I can get his last words
I don't really know yet. I've laughed so hard I've cried but it's not the same
that some people are gonna think others are better than you and you just have to deal with that. Favoritism is everywhere and fairness is irrelevant.
Nothing.
kill some people probably /hj
run away/defy authority unfortunately
yes, because no matter what people say, looks matter especially early in life. If youre pretty at school you aren't bullied and people like you. I want to give my kid the best chance. (not saying this is a good thing, I hate this but it's the truth)
idk just kinda happened one day
impending doom and my immense hopelessness and just. General sense of emptiness and failure.
exist.
hey that wasnt 100 you skipped 2!!
100 Questions!
Thought these might be fun? Ask me some and I’ll try(I can’t promise) to get something up for you later! these questions aren’t my own
1. What’s your middle name, and do you like it? 2. are you artistic? 3. Have you had your first kiss? 4. What is your life goal? 5. Do you have any expieriences with a famous person? 6. Do you play any sports? 7. What’s your worst fear? 8. Who’s your biggest inspiration? 9. Do you have any cool talents? 10. are you a morning person? 11. How do you feel about pet names? 12. Do you like to read? 13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life. 14. Do you care about your follower count? 15. What’s the best dream you’ve had? 16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender? 17. Do you have any pets? 18. Are you religious? 19. Are you a people person? 20. Are you considered popular? 21. What is one of your bad habits? 22. What’s something that makes you feel vulnerable 23. What would you name your children? 24. Who’s your celebrity crush? 25. What’s your best subject? 26. Dogs or cats? 27. most used social media besides tumblr? 28. best friends name 29. who does your main family consist of 30. Chocolate or sugar 31. have you ever been on a date? 32. Do you like rollercosters? 33. Can you swim? 34. What would you do in the event of an apocolypse? 35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder 36. Are your parents together? 37. What’s your favourite colour? 38. What country are you from/do you live in? 39. Favourite singer? 40. Do you see yourself being famous some day? 41. Do you like dresses? 42. Favourite song right now? 43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? 44. How old were you when you first got your period? 45. Have you ever shot a gun? 46. Have you ever done yoga? 47. Are you a horror girl? 48. Are you good at giving advice? 49. Tell us a story about your childhood. 50. How are you doing today? 51. Were you a cute kid? 52. Can you dance? 53. Is there anything you do that you can’t remember ever not doing? 54. Have you ever dyed your hair? 55. What colour are your eyes? 56. What’s your favourite animal? 57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself? 58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 59. Do you have good friends? 60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group? 61. What’s your favourite class? 62. List all the tv shows you are watching. 63. Are you organized? 64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion? 67. Which tv character do you relate to most? 68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness? 69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing? 70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die? 71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you? 72. If you could start over, what would you do differently? 73. Would you break the law to save a loved one? 74. When was the last time you travelled somewhere new? 75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind? 76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today? 77. What did you want to be when you were a kid? 78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking? 79.When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have? 80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence 81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like? 82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity? 83. How would you spend a billion dollars? 84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future? 85. What motivates you to succeed? 86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most? 87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why? 88. Do you believe in life after death 89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they? 90. What’s your fondest childhood memory? 91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why? 92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy? 93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life? 94. What do you think happens after we die? 95. What would you do if you would be invisible? 96. What’s something you can’t do no matter how hard you try? 97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring? 98. How did your first crush develop? 99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it? 100. Do you live or do you just exist?
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cheer-nympho · 13 hours ago
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Steve had been conned into chaperoning the kids to a ren faire.
Admittedly with very little resistance, but he was keeping that to himself. Once there and with their bags packed away into some apparently theme appropriate tents he had shrugged on some medieval casual clothes and…immediately lost track of all of them,
But a figure he did spot was a long haired Jester entertaining a small entourage with juggling,
Steve finds himself laughing slightly condescendingly at the jingling man. Why do people find juggling so impressive?
He picked it up straight away with some hackey sacks while bored between practices. He’s just good with his hands.
When he looks back up to get another glance in however, the jester isn’t perched on top of his little rock anymore and the crowd has merged with the other dweebs.
Steve stares at the empty space for a moment before a jingle right by his ear spooks him into turning around.
“Art thou not impressed by my amazing skills, your lordship?” The jester asks, swaying on his feet and causing the bells all over him to ping, grin wide and mocking.
And up close Steve notices one very important, very dangerous thing.
This court jester is really fucking hot.
He looks like an idiot, a nerd, a dweeb. Its hard not to in a pointy hat. But he also wore it too well, looked too perfect like that.
Steve notices the…is that..? Yes, the corset wrapping tightly around the mans waist, red and black diamonds decorating the sides and leading to small puffy shorts. His legs are covered in tight black leggings which should look ridiculous. It should.
An obnoxious cough and head tilt-jingle make Steve aware that he has been staring at the mans waist for way longer than was ‘bro code permitted’
He looks up with a wince, expecting a look of disgust ranging from mild embarrassment to punch-your-lights-out.
He was, instead, greeted by a smug and knowing smile. The red and black triangles painted over the mans eyes warped where the grin reached them. “Or maybe thou art impressed, but skills are not what draw thine eyes.”
Shit. Fuck. The stupid hot nerd is using stupid nerd speak on him. And Steves stupid nerd, apparently ‘very accurate’ pants are getting tighter. He needs to say something. Anything.
“You’ve got…bells.” Okay, maybe not anything. He used to be better at this shit.
He is rewarded with a wild, joyous laugh as the jester throws his head from side to side. “I do! Isn’t it amazing?The staff insisted on it so they could hear me coming.”
“It certainly makes an impression-“
“Eddie, names Eddie. And what does my lordship go by?”
“Steve is fine.”
“That he is…” The comment was punctuated by a less than subtle glance, almost a leer. “However, Fine Steve seems unimpressed with my merrymaking. As the official court jester, I cannot let that stand.” He stamps his foot, causing another cacophony of jingles.” “Therefore…”
“…Pick a card any card!” A pack of standard cards was presented to him with a flourish, but all he could do was roll his eyes.
“Come on, really? This shit is basic. All I have to do it watch your hands. You’ll swipe my card out and put it back in later, or mark it somehow.”
“Ooo his highness has it all figured out doesn’t he. Well then, princess, you have nothing to lose by picking a card, do you?” And that was…true. Plus he could maybe try to fix his previous fumble and try to claw a number out of this disaster.
So with another bitchy roll of his eyes, Steve plucks a card from the deck and hides it behind his palm. Two of Hearts.
Then out of nowhere… “You know, Stevie, if you think I’m pretty you can just tell me. I know the kingdom would approve not of a noble like yourself marrying a commoner like me, but they need know little of how we…” He begins to reshuffle the cards, motioning for Steve to place his chosen one back in before making some very obvious, very crude movements with his fingers. “…get to know each other in the meantime.”
He was going to die. In the middle of a nerd fest.
“Well, my lord…” Eddie continues, circling him while dragging a finger across his arms and shoulder blades before coming to a stop in front of him. A very bold hand takes Steves jaw and forces his head up, pretending to inspect something on his costume for any bystanders.
“If you would like some more…close up demonstrations…” He leans in tightly, still holding Steve’s jaw in a tight grip. “You can pay me a visit in staff cabin 23 tonight.” He strokes a piece of hair gently behind Steve’s ear before pulling out a card, as if from said ear.
Steve was glad that Eddie took the initiative to carefully pull his hand up and place the card into his palm, because currently Steve was too preoccupied with staring like a fish out of water into Eddies eyes. Everything about him was just so captivating, so alive.
Maybe that’s why he did little more than step forward aimlessly, with small grabby hands when Eddie pulled away. Before Steve could even process it, the bells and jingles had mingled back into the crowd. But that was…that was okay. Cause he could go to the…cabin?
But how was he supposed to- Oh. He looks down. On the card was a loosely clipped room key with a ‘23’ crudely engraved into the edge as if by a pocket knife.
The card itself, to his horror, was the Two of Hearts.
Shit.
He forgot to watch the fucking hands.
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hannieehaee · 2 days ago
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HI!! how are you??
do you mind doing a poly seventeen relationship with vernon and chan and they spoil her alot?? (smut tho)
thank you!! i love you and your blog <3
18+ / mdi
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content: bf!vernon and bf!chan, smut, afab reader, oral (f receiving), handjob, mentions of m receiving oral, mentions of shower sex, etc.
wc: 886
a/n: i couldn't help but write them bickering bc i i just know they totally would in real life.
masterlist
"dude, what the fuck? i thought you guys were going to work today. hyung, you literally have a solo song coming up!"
chan's whines were not enough to get you to stop kissing vernon's neck as you cuddled into him on the couch, nor where they enough for vernon, apparently. his hands were very intent on feeling every inch of your tits, something which you did not want chan to take away from you.
"just did some recording from the home studio," was all vernon said in reply, hands now reaching your ass to pull you on top of him, lips finding yours in a kiss.
"i will not be a third wheel in my own home," he grumbled, "move over, you've had her all day."
he made his way to the couch, sitting on the other side of you as he fought vernon for your attention. after a bit of back and forth, vernon gave you one last kiss before leaving you in chan's arms, pleased enough to have had you to himself all day.
it's not like chan and vernon never shared you at the same time, but they just so happened to both be a little possessive. they preferred to take turns to ensure they could each be fully satisfied. and you? you had no complaints.
"i'm gonna go make some hoco. want some, baby?" he asked as he headed to the kitchen.
"mm, yes, nonnie," you interrupted a heady kiss from chan to respond.
"for me too!," said the aforementioned boy before kissing you again.
vernon chuckled and shook his head as he left, taking note that he should probably ask you to shower with him later. he wanted the last word after chan had his way with you.
~
"oh, but this is fine? weren't you complaining we took a day off without you literally yesterday?"
now it was vernon's turn to walk in on you and chan. however, this time you were located in the bedroom, with chan deep between your legs as you sat at the edge of the bed.
"sorry, baby. i might've convinced him to stay home since you'd be gone today," you mumbled in between gasps.
"c'mere, baby. my hand is all yours," you gestured him to sit next to you as your other hand held onto chan's head, leading his movements against your cunt.
vernon needed no further encouragement, undoing his pants as he walked over to bed and took a seat next to you, kissing you and letting his hands feel up your tits as you began working him with your own hand — god, he really was a boob guy.
"mmm, missed you today," he hummed between kisses.
"me more, nonn- ah! sorry, channie, fuck, you're being so good for me, baby."
wordlessly, he had demanded for attention while his tongue was deep in you. it was the classic competition for your affection.
"fuck, baby, keep doing that. gonna fuck you later, okay? fuck you to sleep, shit, yeah?", mumbled vernon against your lips. his orgasm was close, you could hear it in his voice. he must've been tired from practicing all day.
"mhm, shit. please," you pleaded before turning your attention to the other boy, "channie, shit, 'm gonna cum soon."
he murmured incoherent words into your folds, nose nudging a particularly sensitive spot as he sped up. you were so into your own pleasure you hadn't realized the poor boy had been using your shoe to hump in order to release his own tension.
you hoped he wouldn't cum from it. you had way better plans for him as soon as you got vernon off with your hand.
a high pitched cry was the last thing you voiced against vernon's lips, soon followed by his own grunts of pleasure as he dirtied your hand with his spunk. he was insistent in kissing you throughout both your orgasms, sometimes not even landing on your lips, but still within the ballpark. it was a disorganized mess, as it usually was with vernon.
chan waited patiently until the two of you got a fill of each other. he'd been enjoying the show you and vernon gave him, lip caught in his teeth up until he reached up to you and stole you away from vernon, instead giving you a taste of yourself through the remnants of his lips.
"stop, i'm the one you should be kissing right now," he complained as vernon chuckled beside you, getting up to get a rag to clean himself with.
"i know, channie," you coo'd, "i'll make it up to you, okay, baby?"
getting up, you held out your hand for him with a smile, leading him to the restroom connected to your room. before entering, you turned back to vernon, nodding at him to follow along and giggling when he lit up at the invitation.
"i'll suck off whoever washes my hair," you proposed once in the bathroom.
you were met with a whiny back and forth between both men, insisting they were the best at washing your hair and that the other had already gotten more than enough attention from you.
in the end, it didn't really matter. you had more than enough in you to satisfy both of them. you just liked to see them bicker over you.
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l-starsz · 3 days ago
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‘billie can you please call me’
i messaged her as quickly as possible. i was in tears thinking about the stuff that was hurting me. i needed to hear her voice to calm me down and make everything better. i just needed her.
almost immediately after i sent the message, i heard my phone ringing and answered to hear her caring voice.
“hey angel, what’s going on? everything okay?”
all she heard through the phone were my sniffles as i tried to calm down enough to answer her.
“oh baby are you crying?” her voice softened even more.
“bil.” i whined, practically crying out for her.
“tell me what’s wrong. why are you crying?”
i just groaned in response, unable to actually tell her what was bothering me. well i could tell her but i struggled talking about why i was upset sometimes, and i had no clue why because i wanted to tell her. i wanted to communicate. it was just so difficult.
“talk to me baby. are you ready to tell me what’s up?”
“mhm.” i sniffled, thinking i could do it.
“use your words for me.” she was being so patient with me.
i once again groaned, not being able to find the right words without thinking it sounded stupid.
“do you need me to come over?”
“yes please.” i whispered before i heard her get up and get some shoes and a jacket on, leaving the house straight away.
she stayed on call while she was in the car, she stayed on call all the way until she’d knocked on my door and i’d opened it. i jumped into her arms and hid my face in her neck. i calmed down a bit from her presence whilst she carried me to my bed again.
i whined when she put me down but then noticed her sliding her shoes and jacket off so that she could climb into bed next to me and pull me into her arms. i was still crying as she held me close against her.
“you gonna tell me what’s wrong now sweet girl?”
“i- well-“ i sighed, not knowing how to say it.
“baby i’m trying to help, i can’t help if you don’t tell me what’s wrong, or if you don’t tell me whether or not you’re ready to talk.”
“i know and i wanna tell you, it’s just.. it sounds stupid when i say it out loud. it’s a stupid reason to be upset.” i sniffled.
“i promise you it’s not gonna sound stupid. it obviously isn’t stupid if you’re this upset about it. i’m not gonna judge you, i care about if you’re okay or not. i wanna help.” she whispered in response, kissing my head and running her hands up and down my back.
“thank you billie.” i whispered back, before telling her, “it’s just that.. my friends have been asking to go out with me, and obviously i’m saying yes. but then they keep cancelling on me and saying they don’t have the time but they have time for their other friends. i just feel like they’re sick of me and i feel so alone. you’re all i have left. they barely speak to me anymore.” i cried harder as i told her, holding onto her tight as if she’d suddenly leave too after hearing my confession.
“oh angel.. they don’t deserve you. i’m so happy when i’m with you and if they don’t appreciate you the way you should be appreciated, i’m more than happy to be with you whenever you want to do something. we can go anywhere you want and do whatever because you know what? you make me the happiest. i know it hurts, but if they’re not being good friends then that’s their problem not yours, because they’re losing you.”
i hid my face in the crook of her neck while she spoke and ended up crying even more as i took in her words. and everything she said just proved how much she truly cares about me. after a little while, she sat us both up and brought her thumbs up to my cheeks, gently wiping my tears away and kissing me a few times, which brought a smile to my face almost immediately.
“thank you for everything bil.” i whispered before kissing her again.
“you don’t need to thank me angel. now i think someone’s looking a little tired hm? let’s go to bed okay? i think all that crying has tired you out.”
i just nodded before i felt her kiss me once again. she then laid us both down and held me close to her as we both fell asleep. she was all i needed. my best friend and girlfriend in one person. i’d rather be with her over anyone else.
a/n: half of this is a true story from last night so yeah that’s fun😶
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lottiesviolence · 2 days ago
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♠︎♡Needy Sevika♡♠︎
warnings: 18+, light finger fuckin, pussy eatin, poor needy soft Sevika :( , Sweet fem reader, just a drabble that's soft n’ sweet as sugar
Synopsis: Sev just needs more sweetness, give it to her, please?
♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎
Needy Sevika who watches your hips sway while you walk, grey eyes lingering on your ass.
Needy Sevika who bites her bottom lip when she sees how your back arches when you stretch over the counter serving people drinks.
Needy Sevika who only ask you to make her drinks just so she can touch something you touched.
Needy Sevika who fucks her fingers into her aching cunt while she thinks of you, how your body moves, how your laugh is just so so sweet.
“Fuck... you feel so good” She moans to herself in an empty room.
Needy Sevika who finally got your undivided attention, practically begging to take you on a date.
You teased and played hard to get till the day she got you a gift, a pocket knife with your name engraved in the blade. ♡
Needy Sevika who got drunk with you during your date, slurring her sweet words when she told you how badly she wanted to have you.
Needy Sevika who could barely make it out the resturant, seconds later she had her tounge in your mouth, mixing alcohols and moaning into you.
Needy Sevika who pawed and pulled at your clothes wanting to see all of you.
“Mmf.. need to see you baby”
Needy Sevika who gets on her knees and looks up at you with ache.
“Can I taste you, please?”
Needy Sevika who waits for your command.
You lifted her by her chin“Mmh, you have me Sev”
Needy Sevika who quickly lifts your leather skirt to your hips and drags her tongue against your cunt.
Your back arched against the alleyway brick wall, hands gripping her hair.
“God.. feels so good Sev, keep goin” You mewl.
Needy Sevika who listens and obeys, absolutely pussy drunk, drowning in your wetness.
Needy Sevika who hums and moans into your wet cunt, eyes closed as she focused on your clit.
Needy Sevika who holds a leg up over her shoulder to get a better taste of you.
“God, you're perfect”
Needy Sevika who sucks and kitten licks at your cunt, watching how your eyes squeeze shut.
“Cum f’me ma, cum on my face, need it baby…give it to me please”
Needy Sevika who grinds her nose against your clit, making your grip on her hair tighter as you cum, hips grinding against her face for more friction.
Needy Sevika who looks up at you with her fucked out face n’ a toothy grin.
“Thank you, ma” ♡
Sweet Sevika who fixes your skirt and hair, smiling at you sweetly.
Sweet Reader who wipes her chin and kisses her lips softly.
Sweet Sevika who rest her hand on your back as she walks you home safely.
Needy..Sweet..Sevika
💗 a/n: this is just soooo :((( 2 drabbles in one day its rlly sev hours 24/7 for me :(, i really like soft needy sev so ill be writing a full fic of her just take this drabble as an appetizer honey’s 💗 stay tuned!
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meanbossart · 2 days ago
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im so curious-- how well does DUDrow get on with the other companions? I've only seen your art and going off that I feel like: he gets along with Shadowheart, Gale I think he borderline cant stand, and Wyll/Lae'zel/Karlach I have no idea how he'd feel about them but id love to know!
So, funfact, because I was not familiar with these kinds of games at the time I played BG3, I practically stuck with the same exact party the entire playthrough. I distinctly remember swapping Wyll in for Astarion once at the end of act 2 because I thought he NEEDED to be there to find Mizora, and I replaced Gale with Karlach when I went to kill Gortash. Otherwise... It was pretty much always just DU drow, Shadowheart, Astarion and Gale. I did this because they were the characters I liked most, so I wanted to see all they had to offer.
Anyways, I mention this because it reflects how DU drow related to everyone - which is to say that he didn't. He picked his favorites (two because he liked them, one because he has fireball) and didn't get particularly close to anyone else.
BUT, there were definitely notable dynamics!
Lae'zel: She's dead. He killed her night 3 or something. Before that he thought her annoyingly demanding and over the top. I don't think DU drow even remembers her by the end of the game.
Gale: Just to add to your original observation, Gale and DU drow have a little bit of history. Gale tries, for about half of the campaign, to pursue him romantically. DU drow keeps turning him down and is either misinterpreted or ignored, and by the time Gale does give up on him their relationship has completely soured to the point where they are constantly shooting daggers at each other. (this reflects a romance bug I got in my first run, except I didn't realize it was a bug. Either way I think its more interesting storytelling than the intended experience.)
Wyll: DU drow was profoundly frustrated by Wyll every step of the way. He found him to be incredibly naive and a bit delusional in his pursuit for heroism, and could never relate to Wyll's perspective or choices - the few he made for himself, at least. They definitely had the least in common and DU drow avoided interacting with him most of the time.
Halsin: He didn't care for Halsin much. He was vaguely helpful but by the time they got to the shadow-cursed lands DU drow had the impression he'd only been dragged here to help him clear his conscience, which he didn't appreciate. Also, he couldn't bear to have someone in camp be taller than himself. Halsin was left behind in Act 2.
Jaheira: DU drow fucking loves Jaheira. They bickered and borderline insulted each other and had a great time doing it. He can respect anyone who will call him a monster, threaten to murder him in his sleep, and make light fun at him the next day. It helps that she's hot, also.
Minsc: Weird hamster man. Ocasionally rendered him speechless. Puzzling human being.
Karlach: He didn't get Karlach, but he was often amused by her and curious enough to want to hear what she had to say. There was a similar issue here as Wyll's where he just couldn't relate to her enough to have much to discuss, but Karlach at least had an edge to her that made her far better company. They got along pretty well when the topic wasn't serious, but when it came to the problems she actually faced their perspectives shifted significantly. DU drow thought everything could be fixed, that accepting her own demise was a cowardly thing to do - and as they approached the end, and she asked him if he would stay with her when she died, he thought she was weak. I don't know if he ever discusses it with anyone, but he feels guilty about her death to this day and sees it as personal failure.
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mortalaura · 1 day ago
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It keeps me up at night thinking about how Illario shouldn't be First Talon because he's done anything wrong (by Crow standards) but because he's doing everything RIGHT.
This is just me connecting dots from various story sources but all the information we have on him suggests that he does what (current time) Crows do to absolute perfection down to a T. He's cunning, he lies, he seduces, he cheats, he gets the job done no matter the cost. He's ambitious and is playing the system the way it's intended.
Caterina is an interesting phenomenon because we can assume she has been First Talon and alive for so many damn years (kinda scary strong ngl lmao), which means she has witnessed an incredible amount of change, and I do believe she wants to steer the Crows back to their somewhat freedom fighter form from the past - by trying to unite them to fight for a better cause, like defending Antiva from the Antaaam invasion (Eight Little Talons). But she's also aging and needs someone to continue this fight for her. Lucanis meanwhile is a rather soft personality for a Crow Assassin, and while not perfect, his morality compass is pretty strong - he refuses to kill the elf girl who spots them in Wigmaker Job because it would just be killing an (already downtrodden) innocent - while Illario encourages him to clean up and leave no witnesses (the practical, correct choice from an Assassin pov).
Teia even comments that Illario is a good assassin but Lucanis' jobs tend to have so many more fires to put out than the regular and I believe it's because he always makes things harder for himself in order to spare as many collaterals as possible. So what I imagine happened is that Illario in trying to get as much of his grandmother's approval (just as much as Lucanis) has done everything RIGHT in an effort to please her and prove he's got what it takes, but he can never win because it's never what Caterina intended, and honestly that's so tragic to me. He was playing the game right all along but it was an entirely different game. (The ultimate line crossed was him sacrificing Lucanis for his ambition, and doing so because it's what's expected. I do not believe Illario to be as one note as he ended up in the game at all, I think he actually does genuinely care about Lucanis except for the fact that Crows need to be prepared to make the right sacrifice for the job and love cannot play a part in that - see Zevran's polycule.)
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strnilolover · 1 day ago
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Matt and Chris taking care of adhd!reader when she’s rlly active and bouncy and they struggle as she’s not listening
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Matt …
Matt loved your energy — on most days, it was one of his favorite things about you. You could make even the dullest moments feel exciting. But tonight? Tonight was on a whole new level. It was like you’d had five shots of espresso and the energy of an entire marching band.
“Babe,” Matt called softly, standing in the doorway of the kitchen, watching you dart from one corner of the room to the other. You were currently reorganizing the spice rack for the third time, narrating your choices like a dramatic cooking show host.
“Paprika here, cinnamon there… Matt, do you even know how much cinnamon we have? So much cinnamon! Wait — oh my god, do we have nutmeg? We do, right? Should I bake something? Cookies! Cookies sound amazing. Do you want cookies? I’m gonna bake cookies.” you rambled as your hands searched the rack for said nutmeg.
Matt leaned against the counter, arms crossed, trying not to laugh. “Sweetheart, it’s 11 PM. The cookies can wait until tomorrow.” he said, hoping to try and redirect you from the chaos you were creating in the midst of trying to “rearrange things”.
“Tomorrow? No! Tomorrow is just… future today. We don’t wait for future today! That’s boring.” You bounced on your toes, spinning to face him, your hands gesturing wildly.
Matt stepped forward before you could bolt again, gently catching you by the waist. His touch was firm but light. “Hey, hey. Slow down for a second, alright? Look at me.” Your eyes flicked to his, wide and sparkling with excitement. “Okay, I’m looking, but you’ve got two seconds. Two seconds, that’s all you get.” you said, already itching to make the cookies you were talking about.
Matt chuckled, taking you and guiding you toward the couch. “Deal. Two seconds. Let’s just sit down for a minute, yeah?” You pouted but let him lead you, your hands still fidgeting with the hem of your hoodie. “But I’m not tired, Matt. I need to do something.” you stated, his hands guiding you to sit down.
“I know, babe. I know. But you’re running in circles, and you’re gonna burn yourself out,” he said gently, brushing a stray piece of hair from your face as you reluctantly sat. “Here’s the plan: We’re gonna breathe. Just breathe with me for a second.” He exaggerated a slow inhale and exhale, making it impossible not to copy him.
After a few rounds, Matt turned on your favorite show, one you always found comforting and familiar. “Let’s watch this for a bit. If you’re still bouncing after one episode, then we’ll bake cookies. Sound good?”
You hesitated, your body practically vibrating with pent-up energy. But the way Matt looked at you — calm, patient, and just a little tired — made you soften. “Fine.“
He smiled, draping an arm around your shoulders to keep you close. He kissed your temple as you fidgeted with the blanket.
By the time the episode ended, your head was resting on his shoulder, your eyes drooping shut. Matt glanced down, a soft smile spreading across his face. “Guess the cookies can wait after all,” he whispered to himself, pulling the blanket up over you and turning the TV off. He stayed there with you, his own eyes drifting shut.
Chris …
Chris isn’t as naturally patient as Matt. He loved you, of course, but when you got in one of your super active, can’t-sit-still moods, it was like wrangling a hyper puppy — and Chris was not good at wrangling.
“Angel, please just sit down for a second,” Chris groaned, watching you dart around the living room. You were carrying random knickknacks, moving them from one shelf to another like some sort of chaotic interior decorator.
“But I have so much to do,” you sang, spinning in place as you inspected a framed photo. “Do you think this would look better here? Or — oh my god, wait. What if we moved the couch? Do you think we should rearrange the whole living room?” Chris blinked at you, jaw slack. “The whole living room? It’s almost midnight, babe.” he muttered, his hand rubbing his temple.
“Exactly! That’s the perfect time. It’s quiet. No distractions. We can focus!” You clapped your hands, already eyeing the furniture. Chris groaned, running a hand down his face now. “You’re killing me, darling. Killing me.”
But you weren’t listening anymore, your mind already racing to the next task. Chris watched as you buzzed around the room, trying not to smile despite his frustration. You were too cute for your own good.
Finally, he sighed, stepping forward and scooping you up mid-spin. You let out a squeal as he tossed you over his shoulder like a sack of flour. “Chris!” you laughed, kicking your legs. “Put me down! I’m busy!”
“Nope,” he said simply, carrying you over to the couch. He plopped down, keeping you firmly in his lap and wrapping his arms around you like a human seatbelt. “You’re staying right here, angel.”
You squirmed, trying to wriggle free. “You’re so mean! I was just trying to be productive!” Chris smirked, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Maybe. But you’re running around like a maniac, and you need to chill. So, congratulations, you’re officially stuck with me.”
You huffed, your pout still in place as you leaned back against his chest. For a while, you fidgeted with the strings of your hoodie, your fingers tapping against his leg. “Fine. But I’m still thinking about where to put that picture frame.”
Chris chuckled, letting his head rest against yours. “Of course you are.” He paused, an idea lighting up his face. “Alright, here’s the deal: Tomorrow, we’ll rearrange the living room together. But right now, we’re chilling.”
Your pout softened into a small smile as you tilted your head to look up at him. “You’d really help me?”
Chris grinned, brushing his thumb over your cheek. “Always, angel. Even if it means moving the couch ten times until it’s perfect.” You beamed at him, and Chris swore it made the late-night chaos worth it.
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© strnilolover
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dissapointu · 2 days ago
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Silco x Afab Reader smut
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The heavy wooden door to Silco's office creaks as it swings shut behind you, the sound echoing through the dimly lit room. The air is thick with tension and anticipation, a palpable undercurrent of power dynamics swirling in the space between you and the man who dominates this domain. Silco, older now but no less formidable, stands behind his massive desk, his eyes dark and calculating as they rake over your body. You can feel his gaze like a physical touch, tracing the curves and lines of your form, igniting a fire within you that burns hotter with every second.
"Come here," he commands, his voice low and gravelly, a hint of venom lurking beneath the surface. It’s not a request; it’s an order, one you know better than to refuse.
You comply, moving forward with a grace that belies the nervous flutter in your stomach. Your heart pounds in your chest, each step bringing you closer to him, to the edge of his desk. He doesn’t waste any time, doesn’t bother with pleasantries or small talk. Instead, he reaches out, his gloved hand closing around your wrist with a bruising grip, pulling you forward until you’re perched on the very edge of his desk, your legs dangling just inches from the floor.
His other hand slides up your thigh, the fabric of your dress riding higher as he pushes it out of the way. You shiver at his touch, cold steel against heated flesh, and bite back a gasp as his fingers dip beneath the lace of your panties, finding you already wet and wanting. He chuckles darkly, the sound vibrating through his chest, sending a thrill down your spine.
"So eager," he murmurs, his breath hot against your ear as he nips at the lobe, the sensation making you arch into him. "Such a good girl."
His fingers delve deeper, sliding inside you with expert precision, crooking just right to find that sweet spot that makes your hips jerk uncontrollably. You moan softly, the sound escaping before you can stifle it, and Silco’s grip on your hip tightens, holding you in place as he begins to move his fingers in slow, deliberate strokes.
"Silco," you whisper his name, the syllables falling from your lips like a prayer, a plea for more, for something—anything—to ease the growing pressure between your legs. He responds by increasing the intensity of his thrusts, his fingers pistoning in and out of you with rhythmic precision, coaxing your body to the edge of release.
Your head falls back, your eyes fluttering closed as the sensations overwhelm you. You can feel yourself getting closer, the wave building inside you, threatening to break. But Silco isn’t done with you yet. With a rough tug, he pulls you off the desk, spinning you around so your back is pressed against the cool wood, your hands splayed out beside you for balance.
He doesn’t give you a moment to catch your breath before his mouth descends on your neck, teeth grazing the sensitive skin there as his hands roam over your body, pushing aside fabric to get to the naked flesh beneath. His touch is both possessive and tender, a paradox that sends shivers down your spine.
"Spread your legs," he orders, his voice thick with desire. You obey without hesitation, parting your thighs to give him better access, and he rewards you with a growl of approval. His hand moves lower, cupping your sex once more, and you can feel the pads of his fingers pressing against your entrance even as he continues to kiss and nip at your neck.
"Look at me," he demands, and you comply, lifting your gaze to meet his. The intensity in his eyes is almost too much to bear, a storm of emotion and hunger that leaves you breathless. "Tell me how bad you want it."
You swallow hard, the words sticking in your throat. But you know better than to keep him waiting. "I want it," you gasp out, your voice trembling with need. "I need it, Silco."
He smirks, a predatory gleam in his eyes, and then he’s moving, positioning himself between your legs with practiced ease. You can feel the head of his cock pressing against your entrance, teasingly slow as he circles it around your clit, eliciting a whimper from deep within you.
"Beg for it," he commands, his tone leaving no room for negotiation.
You hesitate for only a moment before dropping all pretense, all pride, and giving in to the overwhelming need that consumes you. "Please," you plead, your voice barely above a whisper. "Please, Silco, fuck me."
He doesn’t make you wait any longer. With one swift movement, he drives himself into you, filling you completely, the force of it driving the breath from your lungs. You cry out at the sudden invasion, your body tensing around him as he spears you to the hilt.
Silco holds still for a moment, allowing you to adjust to the feel of him buried deep inside you, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he waits for your body to relax. When he feels you loosen around him, he begins to move, pulling out nearly to the tip before slamming back in with ruthless precision.
The rhythm is brutal, unrelenting, each stroke of his cock hitting that same spot inside you that sends waves of pleasure crashing over you. You clutch at the desk, your knuckles turning white as you try to steady yourself against the onslaught of sensations. Your back arches, your breasts pressing against the hard surface of the desk as you ride out each thrust, your body shuddering with the effort.
"Yes, yes," you chant, your voice rising in pitch with each word. "Fuck me, Silco, fuck me harder!"
He complies, picking up the pace even more, his hips snapping against yours with renewed vigor. The sound of your bodies slapping together fills the room, mingling with your cries of pleasure and his grunts of exertion. You can feel the pressure building inside you, coiling tighter and tighter with each passing second, ready to explode at any moment.
"Ah, Silco!" you scream, your voice breaking as you finally reach the precipice, your body shaking violently as you teeter on the edge. "I’m gonna… I’m gonna—"
But he doesn’t let you finish. With a final, punishing thrust, he sends you spiraling over the edge, your orgasm crashing over you like a tidal wave. You cry out his name as you come, your walls clenching around his cock as you squirt, the warm liquid soaking through your dress and dripping onto the floor below.
Silco’s own climax follows swiftly after yours, his cock pulsing inside you as he spills his seed deep within your folds. He groans loudly, his voice carrying through the room and beyond, his guards outside no doubt hearing every word, every moan, every plea.
As he slowly withdraws from you, you collapse forward, your arms giving out as your legs turn to jelly beneath you. Silco catches you, pulling you close and wrapping his arms around you in a rare show of tenderness.
"Not bad," he murmurs against your ear, his breath warm and steady against your skin. "But we’re not done yet."
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opashoo · 3 days ago
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Discussions about interpretations and misinterpretations of the natural urges are always really compelling to me because I feel like the way a person interprets them tells a lot about how they view these things, or at the very least, the primary framing of these ideas that they were raised with. It's especially telling when someone compares the natural urges to sin or some other kind of moral failing.
Ascension is moving on and leaving the world behind, and in order to do that you have to be willing to leave the world behind. Existence is complicated and there's both good and bad in the world, but living within this world for all of the good in it means tacitly accepting the suffering that comes with that. Desire isn't evil; rather, it is in the most pragmatic sense something that keeps you bound to the world. You cannot wholly leave the world behind when you still want something from it, or else that desire will draw you back. These things, family, love, connection, emotion, desire, aren't evil, and under most circumstances, I'd consider them inevitabilities if not outright good reasons to live. Instead, they are simply things that keep one tethered to existence. As long as you allow the desire to keep you bound to the world, then you tacitly accept the suffering that comes with it. I don't think one has to deprive themself of these things to ascend, but you need to be willing to leave it behind when the time comes.
The Metropolis echo telling Arti to find a way out was not the echo wagging its finger at Arti and saying "You need to be a better, less sinful person or you won't make it into heaven". I'm sure there was a moral imperative involved too, but more practically, it was saying "If you give into your urges this final time, you will never be free of them; by doing this, you give up your chance of ever being free of this world." I think the Ancients drank bitter tea and ate gravel not because wanting things is inherently evil or "sinful" but because they wanted to distance themselves from those desires, to remove the want by removing the source of want. Self preservation is the final natural urge to shed because you cannot leave the world behind if you are still invested in continuing to exist within it and unwilling to face whatever comes after. All of these have practical ramifications for someone's connection to the cycle; as long as these desires control your actions, you will never be truly ready to leave this world behind because your want will hold you back.
I do think that a lot of the views on Rain World's lore, the natural urges, ascension, and specifically the comparisons to sin and suicide come from interpreting the game through and backlash to specifically Christian ways of thinking. When ascension is depicted as a better world after this one and the natural urges are barriers that prevent your entry, it's intuitive for someone coming from a Christian perspective to understand ascension as heaven and the natural urges as sin, but the problem is the additional baggage that that interpretation brings. That includes backlash against repressive Christian ideas that condemn things that people enjoy about living, and that in turn gets projected onto the Ancients and the idea of ascension. Why should someone have to deprive themselves of happiness for the uncertain promise of something better after death? Isn't it unfair that eternal happiness is gated behind needless suffering? Why is it morally wrong to enjoy life? When ascension is heaven, life after death, what else could ascension be but wilful suicide?
The thing is, you do not need to leave this world behind, you do not need to ascend. At the same time, the game frames it as desirable because it is freedom from the suffering of the cycle. Ascension is a kind of death, sure, but more specifically it is release from the cycle of rebirth and from the suffering of this world and it's something you take when you are ready. It's why the context of Survivor's original campaign serves as such an important baseline through which to interpret the game's themes. The first half of Survivor's campaign involves trying to find their family, but in the second half, Pebbles misinterprets Survivor's arrival as them searching for ascension. The game's difficulty speaks to the struggle of existence while the search for family is an impetus that compels Survivor to continue struggling. Many players believe that you only ascend because Pebbles tells you to, but in truth, ascension only becomes an option once you accept the idea that you may never find Survivor's family and allow both yourself and Survivor to move on. Otherwise, that desire, the natural urge for connection, the hope of finding family, keeps you bound to the game world.
But even once you've accepted that, there's nothing that forces you to ascend. You can spend as long as you want exploring and enjoying the world. Once you're ready to move on, you are free to do so at any time, but nothing forces you to ascend before you're ready. I think the reason ascension appears to be what each slugcat wants (For Survivor, the companionship of other slugcats; for Monk, to be reunited with Survivor; for Hunter, to be reunited with NSH) is because it is freedom from suffering, which can take all kinds of forms. But in the end, ascension is not a carrot on a stick, some ultimate reward, and the natural urges are not sin. There is the world, the struggle of the cycle—which includes both the good and bad—the desires that keep you bound to it, and leaving it all behind.
Diverging into more speculative territory, I think this understanding of the natural urges and ascension honestly creates more interesting implications about Ancients, their culture, and echoes. From Moon's own dialogue, echoes typically understood to come from people whose egos are too big, but I think in truth they are made when people ascend who aren't ready. In the game's files, echoes are referred to as "ghosts", and popular believe is that ghosts are formed when someone dies and some unresolved business or regret bind them to the living world. For the echoes, that is whatever it was they weren't willing to leave behind when they ascended. I believe that the reasons echoes are associated with ego is because those with the biggest egos, for reasons probably relating to status or self-importance, were more likely to ascend before they were ready. While the Shaded Citadel and Subterranean echoes definitely exude some great amount of ego, the Farm Arrays echo, A Bell, Eighteen Amber Beads, doesn't even know why they're trapped, but they have a fixation on the location and almost fondly recall the swaying of the worm grass.
"This is an official decree of cultivation sent from the twenty-second Subsistence Council ordering the eastern spoke Farm Array administration to "immediately harvest and process all viable crops, despite whatever misgivings they might have." A short-sighted endeavor for sure. I would assume this was sent sometime during the final cycles leading up to final public ascension, when interest in biosphere sustainability was at an all-time low." - White Pearl (Misc.)
It's a bit of a reach, but perhaps Eighteen Amber Beads was one of those with misgivings, who was yet unprepared for the days leading up to the final public ascensions. They don't read to me as someone whose ego was overinflated, but rather someone who tried or was made to ascend before they were ready to leave the world, more specifically the Farm Arrays, behind.
On the other side of the coin, it's not hard to imagine that ascension in general, but specifically the mass public ascensions, wasn't something universally popular or agreed upon. Rhinestones Beneath Shattered Glass, the Undergrowth echo who revels in the beauty of life wherever it blooms, reads as someone didn't even want to ascend in the first place, who still had business in this world before they could move on. I love Rhinestones' message personally, but a lot of people like to use them as a sort of "gotcha" against ascension, as if it's proof that the Ancients were wrong and you shouldn't want to ascend, and that the whole system is flawed for punishing someone's love for the world. I think that's a big misreading of Rhinestones' situation.
From Rhinestones, you can extrapolate all kinds of conflicts that may have arisen between the regular populous and people with influence, power, and access to legislation and the means to ascend. If anything, I think Rhinestones, like the Shaded Citadel echo, speaks more to complicated social or political pressures that could have caused someone to go through with the ascension ritual even if they themselves were uninterested or unprepared. Ascension is something Rhinestones was clearly uninterested in and they outright criticize the other Ancients for seeking it, so how did they end up going through the process and becoming an echo themselves?
Anyway, my point is that Rain World and its natural urges aren't about the good of asceticism vs the sins of desire, and to read it that way is a huge disservice to its themes, I think. The world is a complex, interconnected thing, and suffering is inherent to it. Ascension is part of a process that seeks to reduce suffering—which many would consider a good thing—but otherwise doesn't moralize. Instead there is simply the world and all the good and bad and people in it, the struggle of the cycle—which you can always help to alleviate—the desires that keep you bound, and leaving it all behind.
DEBUNKING COMMON RAIN WORLD MISINTERPRETATIONS
The target audience for this was for people who don't know too much about the game as well, so I'm going to explain things that a normal player might already know.
Rain World is known for how it simply throws you into the world with almost no tutorial, and is often praised for it.
But this lack of explanation if you do not go out of your way to find it has also lead to a lot of misinterpretations from those who did not read all the game’s available information, or misunderstood what they were being told. I used to watch some RW lore videos that would explain and summarize these things, and in the past I believed them.
I’ve since stopped doing that after having some time to actually process what I’ve been reading, and I’m here to say...
YOU ARE ALL WRONG ABOUT RAIN WORLD.
Ok, hyperbole. Not everyone believes these, and art can always be interpreted in different ways by different people, and I won’t stop you from having these beliefs. But also, there’s plenty of ingame content which completely disproves most of these unsubstantiated points from those who do not fully research the game before making videos about it.
Looking at you Tale Foundry…
The purpose of this is to pick apart some of the sadly far too common points I’ve heard many times before from Youtube videos, to Tumblr posts, to people I’ve spoken to on Discord.
Starting with my least favorite…
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“The 5 karma were seen as sinful”
Obvious westernization of a game based off fucking Buddhism aside, there’s no ingame text directly supporting this claim. There isn’t any that says otherwise, but we have good reason to believe this isn’t the case.
The 5 natural urges, as they’re sometimes called, were NATURAL. They were what bound you to the cycle. They never worsened your life or made you a terrible person should you keep following them, but an aspect of life on the same level as suffering or ecstasy.
Hey, I’ll break down the 5 karma and their meanings to show you that they're not just "sins"
I believe the natural urges have 2 different meanings: an animalistic one, and a more “human” one.
KARMA 1 This obviously represents violence, as you see one guy stabbing the other. I believe it also represents competition and intense emotions, For example: Artificer experiencing intense grief and lashing out in violence as a result. It was not the violence that started it, but her emotions. (Yes, its Downpour. But it’s a good point.)
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KARMA 2
They’re having sex. They’re fucking. They’re- ok you get it. Karma 2 represents reproduction. But, I also believe it’s desire. Joyful bodily experiences, and such. The 2 figures seen here are in a much more playful pose than if they were simply doing this only to reproduce. No, they’re having fun.
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KAMRA 3 Connection. Bonding with others. Yet also trade and personal belongings. Attachment to things that are not yourself.
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KARMA 4 It’s mentioned ingame that this represents gluttony It’s overindulgence, you know. Similarly to karma 2, it can also be searching for fulfillment. I'm not particularly good at telling what the meaning of this could be.
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KARMA 5 Self preservation. Self preservation can come in many forms, from an animal running away from a predator or somebody getting defensive after being accused of something or being threatened, this one is rather vague about its meaning.
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I do this to show that the 5 urges have very NEUTRAL meanings. It being positive or negative is entire dependant on context. They’re not sinful, get out of here with that Catholic shit!
The 5 karmas have both positive, negative, and neutral contexts which they can fit into.
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“The ancients hated being alive”
The ancients simply hated the cycle itself and its unknowable properties, as well as being much more aware of things like karma and the urges. Rather, they valued being effortless to disconnect themselves from this cycle.
“This was an eternal dilemma to them - they were burdened by great ambition, yet deeply convinced that striving in itself was an unforgivable vice. They tried very hard to be effortless.” – Bright Green Pearl (DS)
Some practices did of course include things like starving yourself, but as mentioned by Moon, these methods proved to be mostly obsolete. Void Fluid fundamentally changed their culture from what we see. Rather, we do see the ancients enjoying life and valuing it in their own way, which is INCREDIBLY important to some of the games themes, but I’ll get into that later.
"[...]'In this vessel is the living memories of Seventeen Axes, Fifteen Spoked Wheel, of the House of Braids[…] Seventeen Axes, Fifteen Spoked Wheel nobly decided to ascend in the beginning of 1514.008, after graciously donating all (ALL!) earthly possessions to the local Iterator project (Unparalleled Innocence), and left these memories to be cherished by the carnal plane.The assorted memories and qualia include:Watching dust suspended in a ray of sun (Old age). Eating a very tasty meal (Young child). Defeating an opponent in a debate contest, and being applauded by fellow team members (Late childhood/Early adulthood).’...and the list goes on. I'm sorry, little creature, I won't read all of this - the list is six hundred and twenty items long.” – Deep Magenta (SH)
There’s quite a lot to pick apart here, I had to cut down some parts short, but even the cut parts have important details. Just not important enough for me to bring up here.
The Memory Crypts we see ingame are… well where memories are kept. The qualia (personalized experiences) is stored within these mutated fleshy neural organisms referred to as “cabinet beasts”. These of course, contain the “living memories” or qualia of those who have ascended. There are people smarter than me who have already covered these ideas of course, so I won't go TOO indepth.
The ancients greatly valued titles and achievements just as us. They still lived normal lives. As well as this, they valued personal experiences and memories of the carnal realm so much they built an entire citadel to store memories.
As we can see as well, Seventeen Axes has quite a lot of enjoyable memories from throughout their life. Eating nice food and winning a debate contest and getting validation from their peers? That sounds rather… complacent with the 3rd and 4th natural urges, doesn’t it?
I do not believe this screams “I hate being alive!” as much as people have made it out to be, and is honestly ruins part of the game’s messages of compassion and personalized experiences, especially in the game’s ending where Survivor dreams of home.
“You have no name. I once had! I was embalmed, adorned, readied for the journey. So proud. There was jubilation! My name was sung, loud and clear. Did they know? That I didn't quite leave, didn't quite stay? Should I be ashamed? That I linger here, where my memories are kept? Should I be ashamed that I now envy your flesh prison?” - Four Needles under Plentiful Leaves
This is leaning into personal theory territory, but...
I personally believe that the ancients were somewhat terrified of the unpredictability of the cycle and the fact that life would always have more suffering in it.
RW’s religion is heavily based off Buddhism. This is well known of course. The Cycle is a variation of Samsara. Now, I’m not Buddhist, and I’ve tried to do my research about some of these topics. Feel free to correct me, I’m simply going off what I know. (Also I'd love to hear what you have to say regarding your thoughts on the game!)
In Buddhism, each new life you could be taken into the body of an animal, or even end up being tortured in hell for a very, very, VERY long time if you made the wrong decisions, which made escaping it as soon as you could seem like a rather reasonable thing to do.
The ancients never fully grasped the scope of the cycle, and the prospects of having your soul wake up in the body of some miserable worm with no memory of your past or any ideas of your future might’ve seemed bleak.
Suffering is inevitable. But that doesn’t mean they hated being alive, like I said before.
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“Rain World is post-apocalyptic.”
It really isn’t. There was never any apocalypse. The ancients simply left on their own accord, leaving behind their mark on the world that will slowly be buried once again in the ever so present cycle.
“The bones of forgotten civilizations, heaped like so many sticks.” - Two Sprouts, Twelve Brackets
The world is thriving, even. The purposed organisms left behind have evolved and taken over and become it’s own ecosystem.
The iterators are dying though. Dying very slowly, but soon they’ll all decay and everything will move on.
It’s all just another manifestation of the cycle.
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“The creatures in Rain World cannot die”
This is definitely something I hear from people who haven’t played much of the game and only hear about it from outside sources and watch the gameplay.
Yes, it is easy to believe this. As slugcat, when you die, you wake back up again. This is entirely a gameplay thing and not actually related to the lore. Saying this might seem like I'm avoiding the question at hand here, but the rules that apply to you do not seem to apply to other creatures.
Every creature in the game has a 4 integer ID (it can go higher, but not in a standard playthrough).
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This makes every creature you see an individual of sorts with its own randomized values or appearance.
As well as this, creatures spawn from specific marked dens. When you kill a creature that spawns from a certain den, the next cycle, that creature’s ID will never appear again. Instead, the den spawn is replaced by a creature of the same species with a different ID, or a new species entirely.
Through gameplay, you see that the respawn rules that apply to you do not apply to other creatures. I’ve heard many points about how these dead creatures are transported to another alternate universe where they are alive, but I really do not want to delve into that theory. You do that yourself.
Excuse my unprofessional language, but this is kind of stupid. Billions and billions of little timeline splits accounting for every single insect and microbe that dies seems far too complex of a solution. Occam's Razor and all that.
With this gameplay element you see, I also want to give LORE explanations as to why this is incredibly stupid.
1) If death had no impact, the 5 natural urges would not matter
If no creatures died, there would be no point in eating (karma 4), competing with other species (karma 1), or any form of self preservation (karma 5). Reproduction (karma 2) has no role and there would be absolutely no reason to do anything any longer. All natural processes would be useless.
2) Light Blue Pearl
The information received from the cycle is most likely from the Light Blue Pearl, found in Outskirts.
“[...]The repeating mantra is important because it symbolizes the cyclical nature of life and death, and the termination verse is a symbol for ascension above and beyond it. I don't know how familiar you are with the nature of life and death, but I imagine like all living creatures you have some intuitive knowledge? Then you know that death isn't the end - birth and death are connected to each other like a ring, or some say a spiral. Some say a spiral that in turn forms a ring. Some ramble in agonizing longevity. But the basis is agreed upon: like sleep like death, you wake up again - whether you want to or not. This is true for all living things, but some actually break the cycle. That doesn't apply to you or me though, you are too entangled in your animal struggles, and for me not breaking that cycle is an integral part of the design. Our mantras keep repeating.”
“Then you know that death isn't the end - birth and death are connected to each other like a ring, or some say a spiral. Some say a spiral that in turn forms a ring.“
This line is very misunderstood. Moon specifically mentions birth and death. She mentions death. She never brings up the notion that nothing truly dies either.
As well as this, Moon says that “some say”, implying that even the ancients weren’t sure what the cycle was either. This is more important to my point regarding how the unfathomable nature of the cycle was why the Ancients were so averse to it from above, though.
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“Sliver of Straw found the solution.”/"There is/isn't solution"
No she didn’t.
.
.
Ok fine I’ll explain.
If you’ve played Rain World you know that the purpose of the iterators is to find the solution to the “Great Problem”, the problem of how to ascend ALL living creatures.
You’ll also know Sliver sent out the Triple Affirmative…
“[...]affirmative that a solution has been found, affirmative that the solution is portable, and affirmative that a technical implementation is possible and generally applicable. She's also one of few that has ever been confirmed as exhaustively incapacitated, or dead. We do not die easily.[…]” - Pale Yellow (SL)
After sending out this affirmative, the iterators became conflicted. They never could figure out if she really ascended and had found the solution, or if it was some sort of catastrophic error.
The answer to the Great Problem is clearly intended to be as obscured as possible. There cannot be an answer one way or the other. The themes of it and the endless tolling of the iterators would not be as impactful if we knew there was or wasn’t a solution.
“[...]Either way, after that these different factions developed, as well as a huge forensic effort to recreate and simulate Sliver of Straw's last moments. Some of the simulations were wrapped in a simulation wrapped in a simulation, in case something dangerous might happen. Nothing much has come from it.[…]“ - Pale Yellow (SL)
Here’s my favorite way of explaining what I mean…
Imagine Schrodinger's Cat, the famous thought experiment. There’s a 50/50 chance that when you open the box, you either find the Solution, or find out there is No Solution.
Except you cannot open the box. And the box is entirely theoretical and nobody’s seen it. It seems impossible, but maybe one day you’ll find that box. That’s what the Great Problem is.
Sliver apparently having found the solution would have completely broken everything. Five Pebbles wouldn’t have ended up hurting himself and Moon had Sliver finding the solution been known with certainty. He was taking a shot in the dark.
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“Ascension is akin to suicide.”
I strongly believe this point harms the role that ascension and the void sea play in Rain World’s narrative. Ascension is meant to be a final destination, a goal you build up to and prepare for when you’ve lived every bit of life you possible could, and can now move on.
Bringing up the Memory Crypt pearl from earlier, Seventeen Axes lived an incredibly fulfilling life from what we see, and ascended happily.
As well as this, Buddhism strongly encourages those who wish to liberate themselves to discover their own path, which is also subtly shown through the gameplay, as there are many many routes you can take to Five Pebbles, Looks To The Moon, and The Depths.
I do also think this is why Five Pebbles failed. He tried to brute force his way to ascension.
Suicide implies that ascension is only meant to be a fruitless escape and that it’s wrong to ascend. I… do not want to go into why suicide is bad. It’s a strong topic and I’m just here to talk about video games. But ascension is a neutral thing that you can choose to do or not do and to wait until you’re ready.
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Conclusion...
I really only have the time to cover these 6 misconceptions, and I believe it should be enough. There have been many others I’ve seen, such as the ancients being malicious or that there weren’t any civilizations before them, but there’s not as much to say about them, and they aren’t as common.
Rain World is a very confusing game. I’m not upset at people who think these things to be true, and I do not believe they’re stupid or don’t have any media literacy. I just wish that the people who did actually cover this game did some more looking into it, and actually discussing it with Rain World fans.
Also I should say, that during this entire discussion I have avoided talking about Downpour- RW’s DLC- as it’s more of a official fanmade project. And so much of what it says may not be entirely in line with Vanilla. Because my life isn’t easy and of course there has to be an incredibly divisive and confusing thing like this that I need to avoid bringing up so that way the conversation isn’t muddled.
Thanks if you managed to make it through all this by the way
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saltnsugarbear · 2 days ago
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Lip with “Fuck, wait — shit. Mm— fuck. Wh-where did you learn to do that?” “Well, the noises you make are a pretty good indication of how you like it.” “…God you sound so fucking cocky right now and it’s turning me on even more.” 
so like on the low i ate this up
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word count: 1.0k
content warnings: KAREN SLANDER IM SO SORRY (I don't like her but I hate slut shaming more) they don't enthusiastically consent but they're both into it I'm sorry 😔, so ig dubcon, oral (m!receiving) (don't ask for this ever again), Lip is kind of mean (the voices olive got to me on that one)
side note: don't expect any bj fics again cause I hate the idea of giving men head SORRY also I like triggered my own life apocalypse (got sick at work, power went out, etc)
come celebrate!
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One of Lip's favorite things about you is your competitive nature. Not that he'd ever say that out loud, but it's one of the things that endeared him to you.
It made him like pushing your buttons even more.
So complaining while you actually work on your group project is the perfect way to annoy you today. However you've stopped paying him any mind, about three minutes into his griping. So he tries a new approach.
Bringing up his most recent conquests. So obviously that means he feels the need to mention Karen.
And the fact that instead of being tutored, she gave Lip head instead. The story makes you roll your eyes, shaking your head when he comments that it's probably the best blowjob he's ever gotten.
"It could not have been that good.." You scoff, trying to focus on finishing the sentence you're writing. "Actually, I take that back. Given how big of a slut she is, she's probably had plenty of practice."
"Oh fuck you-" Lip starts.
"Am I wrong?" You challenge him quickly, glaring up from your page.
"You're just pissed off you're not getting any." He sneers. You roll your eyes, you're not having this conversation with him.
Lip takes your silence as agreement, snickering lightly. "No wonder you're so uptight, you're not getting laid."
You have to bite your tongue to keep from retorting. He's fucking insufferable.
"Everything makes so much more sense now. Because I kept asking myself, y'know, why you're such a bitch. But it makes sense now, you're not getting away so you need to take your frustrations out another way."
"You're such a fucking asshole, Gallagher. You don't know shit about who I'm fucking." You snap at him, putting your pen down none too gently.
"Right, like anyone would be able to fuck you. Probably too fucking tight up there, can't even get a finger in you." Lip's look is gloating, like he's won some verbal sparring match.
You don't know why you're moving. Pushing out of your chair and tugging Lip's back. Lip sputters at the abruptness of your yanking, arms flying out for balance. Once there's enough space for you, you quickly step in between his legs before dropping down to your knees.
You're a little surprised at the small tent in Lip's slacks already, scoffing after you piece it together. "You get off on the sound of your own voice?"
"What? No. What are you-" You cut Lip's questioning off quickly, pushing yourself up to rest on your toes so you can easily rest your arm on his thigh as you press your palm against his half hard dick. Lip's words are muddled as you bully him through the fabric, fighting himself for some composure.
With one last squeeze, you bring both of your hands to his hips, pulling him forward until he's sitting at the very edge. You don't miss how he inhales sharply at your rough handling.
Once he's positioned better, you sit flat on your feet before looking up at him through your lashes and leaning forward, licking at his erection through his slacks. Lip groans as you continue to mouth at his cock, head falling back as you suck softly around the fabric.
Once you're satisfied with the wet patch you've made in his pants, you bring your hands to unbutton and unzip them before tugging them down slightly. Lip helps you out by lifting his hips up, letting drag them down past his knees. Your saliva bled through his pants, dampening his boxers where you had been teasing him.
Taking your time, you go back to mouthing at his erection. You can hear him shifting above you, glancing up to see him bring his hands around. Lip's hands are pushy as they hold the back of your head.
"Uh-uh.." You pull away from his bulge, catching his wrists before leaning forward and tucking them behind his back. "Those stay there."
"Fuck..." Lip mutters.
"Lift." You tap his hips as you curl your fingers under the waistband of his boxers. Lip is a quick listener, lifting his hips up so you can tug his boxers down to his pants. He breathes out heavily when his cock springs free, hitting his stomach.
You're quick to take him in your mouth, sliding your tongue along the underneath of his length. There's a sense of pride as Lip struggles to form any words, the only things leaving his mouth a mix of whines and groans.
"Fuck, wait- shit-" Lip grunts as you sink back down to the base, glancing up at him with your nose brushing against his happy trail. "Mm- fuck. Wh-where did you learn to do that?"
You hum around his length, feeling how he twitches in your mouth before pulling all the way off.
"Well, the noises you're making are a pretty good indication of how you like it." You grin up at him, bringing your hand to wrap around the base of his cock.
"...God you sound so fucking cocky right now and it's turning me on even more." Lip's eyes are lidded as he looks down at you, watching as you slowly jerk him off. You roll your eyes at him, leaning back towards his cock.
"I liked you better when you could barely speak," you tell him before leaning forward and wrapping your lips around the head of him.
"Fuu- ughh.." Lip grunts as you suckle at his head. His hips buck up into your mouth, pushing himself farther in. You hum sharply, taking your hands away from his base and pushing back against his hips. Lip breathes heavily as you keep his hips in place, flicking your tongue over the slit before pressing gently at the underside of his head.
"Wait-" Lip chokes out, hips bucking up again. "Shit, shit- fuck-"
Lip's release is thick on your tongue and you're quick to open your mouth, letting him watch as his cum coats your tongue. Doing such makes Lip swear, another rope covering your tongue. You pull away from him, sticking your tongue out for him to see all of his release before making a show of swallowing it.
"Still think she gave you the best blowjob of your life?"
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castiwls · 10 hours ago
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my number one .ᐟ
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Paring; art x reader
Synopsis; You'd always been your own worst enemy. Your anxiety liked to jump out at the worst times yet your ever-doting boyfriend was determined to be there every. single. time.
Even if that meant missing his match.
Requested; anon
Notes; tysm for the request <3 i kinda based this on my own anxiety and the methods I've been taught over the years
Masterlist
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“I don’t wanna be annoying.”
“You're not being annoying.”
No matter how many times he says it, you never believe it. How could you not be annoying, especially when you’ve woken him up at 3 a.m. for what must be the third time this week?
Art sighed, pulling you closer to his chest. His hands rubbed over your back in soothing circles as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Just follow my breathing, okay?” It was a saying so common that it seemed to fall from his lips without a thought. It was almost like a lifeline of sorts knowing that no matter what you’d always have the steady beat of his heart only a phone call away whenever your own decided to forget how to beat on time and needed reminding.
It was equally a blessing and a curse. A blessing to have someone like Art who would drop everything to come at your beacon call but a curse that you needed him in that way. 
Even now when he should be preparing for another tournament - against which school you can’t remember but then again your only thought right now is being able to focus enough to breathe - he’s here with you tucked around a corner from your class as you try to calm your breathing.
The moment he’d gotten your text.
Please come
Need you
He’d left the court without a second thought and made it to the building in record time. “You’re okay.” He soothed running a thumb over your cheek as he held your gaze. “You’re okay just breathe. In and out.” 
He hated seeing you like this. No matter how many times it happened he’d never shake that feeling of nausea that would swim in his stomach whenever your breath seemed to catch and your eyes grew distant. It made him want to just wrap you in his arms and protect you from anything and everything that left you feeling even slightly anxious.
You were his entire world and it hurt him to know you were your own worst enemy. 
“C’mon.” His hand intertwined with yours as he grabbed your bag. You both walked quietly back to his dorm your heart rate slowly going back to normal as you both walked. 
“Don’t you have practice?” You frowned as he placed your bag on his bed turning to watch as you shut the door. “It’s fine.” He smiled trying to reassure you as he opened his arms. “I can practice later you’re more important right now okay.” He sighed pulling you against his chest.
The practice could wait right now all he cared about was you. 
⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *
Not now, please god not now.
Art had already been so busy the last few days that you’d purposefully tried to leave him alone. He needed to train and you didn’t want to get in the way and worry him more then he already was. 
He’d only left his dorm an hour ago to get ready for the match and you’d been fine. Better then fine actually you’d had a great morning and for a moment you’d thought that maybe you’d go three full days without your anxiety rearing its ugly head.
And then it proved you wrong.
“Art I’m fine.” You could hear his concern down the phone as you sat on his bed, mentally counting your breaths to try and keep some semblance of calm. “You sure? I can come back for a-”
“No. No stay there and just relax okay? I’ll come find you before it starts.” You could almost picture the concern in his eyes as he sighed before relenting. If you said you were fine you were fine, pushing you would only make it worse.
“Okay but call me if you need okay? I love you.”
“I love you too.” You smiled slightly tracing shapes over his covers as you ended the call. The room was starting to feel too small as you sat, the air almost stuffy. Nothing had even happened and yet you could already feel the anxiety building.
The pit in your stomach swirled as your hands grew clammy no matter how many times you wiped them on your jeans.
You were fine.
You had to be fine. 
Taking a breath you stood pacing the small space as you tried to halt the attack. Breathe in for 10 out for 10.
In for 10 out for 10.
“Fuck.” Your voice shook slightly as tears began to prick at your eyes, your chest heaving as you tried to pull in a breath that wasn’t there. 
Your eyes darted around the room as you looked for anything to help but came up empty. You couldn’t call him. You knew the minute you did he’d drop everything and you didn’t want that.
No matter how bad this was - and it was bad by your standards - his match was more important.
Wiping the tears you sat back down closing your eyes as you tried to talk yourself through it.
You were fine.
⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *
The breath he’d been holding since you’d spoken on the phone a few hours ago seemed to finally release as he spotted you in the crowd. His eyes lit up and a bright smile pulled at his lips as he made his way through the crowd towards where you stood, your own eyes lighting up when you noticed him.
“Hey.” He grinned pulling you in for a chaste kiss. “You came.”
“Of course I did.” You laughed but it was strained. Your smile slightly too tight as you fixed the cap over his curls. “You ready?” You asked pulling back ever so slightly. 
“You're shaking.” 
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are I can see your hands.” Art sighed his smile pulling into a frown as he took your hand in his. “Your freezing as well.” 
Your face was still pulled into a tight smile but he saw right through it. The slight draw in your brow and the redness around your eyes gave you away almost immediately. Before you could say anything else he was pulling you through the crowd and behind the bleachers.
You swallowed back the tears which burned at your eyes. It had taken the whole two hours since the phone call for you to calm down even an inch and even now you still felt sluggish in your own body. 
“Art m’fine.” Your voice shook as you closed your eyes. 
“No your not.” He shook his head pushing a strand of hair from your face. “Why didn’t you call me?” You always called! It was bad enough knowing you’d walked from the dorms to the court like this but knowing you’d very possibly been like this since he’d last called you?
His own heart was racing at the thought.
“I didn’t wanna distract you.” His hand was now rubbing over your shoulder as you wiped at your eyes. “I know how much this means to you-”
“The match doesn’t matter.” He shook his head gently, tilting your chin up. Part of you already felt better just being near him, his presence a comfort in itself.
“Nothing matters more than you.” He smiled his eyes filled with warmth as his thumb flicked away a tear. “I’m not playing until I know you're okay. I can’t play knowing you're feeling like this.”
He pulled you closer rubbing a hand over your back. The match would never be more important than you - hell tennis would always come second to you. The fact the thought even crossed your mind was enough to have him debating putting the racket down and pulling you back to his dorm.
“Promise me you're still gonna play.” You whispered tucking your face into the crook of his neck as you breathed in the gentle scent of his aftershave for a moment. Your lungs seemed to work again as you pressed closer, sinking into his body.
“We’re not talking about tennis.” He murmured balancing his chin on your head. “You're all that matters.”
He meant his words, every single one of them. Sure he would play in the tournament but only once he knew you were okay, until then it was the last thing on his mind.
Tennis could never hold a torch to his love for you.
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ruhua-langblr · 2 days ago
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Language Apps Suck, Now What?: A Guide to Actually Becoming "Fluent"
The much requested sequel to my DL post that was promised almost a year ago.
I'm going to address all of the techniques that have helped me in my language learning journeys. Since 95% of these came from the fact that in a past language learning mistake, they are titled as my mistakes (and how I would/did things differently going forward). For those that read to the bottom there is a "best universal resources" list.
Disclaimers:
"Fluency" is hard to define and everyone has their own goals. So for the purpose of this post, "fluency" will be defined as "your personal mastery target of the language".
If you just want to pick up a bit of a language to not sound like a total foreigner on vacation or just exchange a few words in a friend's native language, feel free to ignore what doesn't apply, but maybe something here could help make it a little easier.
This is based on my own personal experience and (some) research.
Mistake 1: Asymmetrical Studying
Assuming you don't just want to do a single activity in a language, or are learning a language like ASL, a language requires 4 parts to be studied: Speaking, Listening, Writing, Reading. While these have overlap, you can't learn speaking from reading, or even learn speaking from just listening. One of my first Chinese teachers told me how he would listen to the textbook dialogues while he was biking to classes and it helped him. I took this information, thought "Yeah that's an idea, but sounds boring" and now regret not taking his advice nearly every day.
I think a lot of us find methods we enjoy to study (mine was reading) and assume that if we just do that method more ™ it will eventually help us in other areas (sometimes it does, but that's only sometimes). Find a method that works for you for each area of study, even better find more than one method since we use these skills in a variety of manners! I can understand a TV program pretty well since I have a lot of context clues and body language to fill in any gaps of understanding, but taking a phone call is much harder—the audio is rougher, there's no body language to read, and since most Chinese programs have hard coded subtitles, no subtitles to fall back on either. If I were to compare the number of hours I spent reading in Chinese to (actively) training my listening? Probably a ratio of 100 to 1. When I started to learn Korean, the first thing I did was find a variety of listening resources for my level.
Fix: Find a variety of study methods that challenge all aspects of the language in different ways.
A variety of methods will help you develop a more well-rounded level of mastery, and probably help you keep from getting bored. Which is important because...
Mistake 2: Inconsistent Studying
If there is one positive to a language app, it is the pressure it puts on keeping a streak. Making studying a part of your everyday routine is the best thing you can do. I benefited a lot from taking a college language course since I had a dedicated time to study and practice Chinese 5 days out of the week (and homework usually filled the other two). Memorization is a huge part of language learning, and stopping and starting is terrible for memorization. When I was in elementary school, we had Spanish maybe a couple times a month. Looking back, it seems like it was the first class to be cut if we needed to catch up on a more important course. Needless to say, I can't even speak Spanish at an elementary level.
However, I'm sure many people reading this don't have the time to do ultra-immersion 4-hour study sessions every day either. Find what days during the week you have time to focus on learning new vocab and grammar, and use the rest of the week to review. This can be done on your commute to school/work, while you do the dishes, or as a part of your morning/evening routine. Making this as realistic as possible will help you actually succeed in making this a habit. (Check this out for how to set realistic study goals)
Fix: Study regularly (ideally daily) by setting realistic goals. Avoid "binge" studying since remembering requires consistent repetition to be most effective.
Mistake 3: Resource Choice
This is really composed of two mistakes, but I have a good example that will cover them both.
First, finding resources that are at or slightly above your level is the most important thing. Easy resources will not challenge you enough and difficult resources will overwhelm you. The ideal is n+1, with n as what you know plus 1 new thing.
Second, getting distracted by fancy, new technology. Newer isn't always better, and there are often advantages that are lost when we've made technological developments. I often found myself wanting to try out new browser extensions or organizational methods and honestly I would've benefitted from just using that time to study. (Also, you're probably reading this because of my DL post so I don't think it has to be said that AI resources suck.)
A good example of this was my time using Clozemaster. I had actually recommended it when I first started using it since I thought the foundation was really solid. However, after long term use, I found that it just wasn't a good fit. The sentences were often too simple or too long and strange for memorization at higher levels or were too difficult at lower levels. I think that taking my textbook's example sentences from dialogues into something like Anki would've been a far better use of my time (and money) as they were already designed to be at that n+1 level.
Fix: "Vet" your resources—make sure they will actually help you. If something is working for you, then keep using it! You don't always have to upgrade to the newest tool/method.
Mistake 3.5: Classrooms and Textbooks
A .5 since it's not my mistake, but an addendum of caution. I think there is a significant part of the language learning community that views textbooks and classroom learning as the worst possible resource. They are "boring", "outdated", and "ineffective" (ironically one of the most interesting modern language learning methods, ALG, is only done in a classroom setting). Classrooms and textbooks bring back memories of being surrounded by mostly uninterested classmates, minimal priority, and a focus on grades rather than personal achievement (imagine the difference between a class of middle schoolers who were forced to choose a foreign language vs. adult learners who self-selected!) People have used these exact methods, or even "cruder" methods, to successfully learn a language. It all comes down to what works best for you. I specifically recommend textbooks for learning grammar and the plentiful number of dialogues and written passages that can function great as graded readers and listening resources. (Also the distinction made between "a youtube lesson on a grammatical principle" which is totally cool, and "a passage in a grammar textbook" is more one of tone and audio/written than efficacy).
Classrooms can be really great for speaking practice since they can be a lot less intimidating speaking to someone who is also learning while receiving corrections. Speech can be awkward to train on your own (not impossible if you're good at just talking aloud to yourself!), and classrooms can work nicely for this. Homework and class schedules also have built in accountability!
Fix: Explore resources available to you and try to think holistically about your approach. CI+Traditional Methods is my go to "Learning Cocktail"
Mistake 4: Yes, Immersion, But...
I realized this relatively quickly while learning Chinese, but immersion at a level much higher than your current level will do very little for you. What is sometimes left out of those "Just watch anime to learn Japanese" discussions is that you first need to have a chance at understanding what is being said. Choosing materials that are much higher than your level will not teach you the language. It doesn't matter how many times someone at HSK 1 hears “他是甘露之惠,我并无此水可还”, they will not get very far. Actual deduction and learning comes from having enough familiar components to be able to make deductions—something different than guessing. An HSK 1 learner, never having heard the word 老虎 will be able to understand "tiger" if someone says “这是我的老虎” while standing next to a tiger. This is not to say you can never try something more difficult—things should be challenging—but if you can't make heads or tails of what's being said, then it's time to find something a bit easier. If mistake 2 is about the type of method, this is about the level. If you wouldn't give a kindergartener The Great Gatsby to learn how to read, why would you watch Full Metal Alchemist to start learning a language?
Side note: Interesting video here on the Comprehensible Input hypothesis and how it relates to neurodivergence.
Fix: Immerse yourself in appropriate content for your level. It's called comprehensible input for a reason.
Mistake 5: On Translation
I work as a translator, so do you really think I'm going to say translation is all bad? Of course not. It's a separate skill that can be added on to the basic skills, but is really only required if you are A. someone who is an intermediary between two languages (say you have to translate for a spouse or family member) or B. It is your job/hobby. In the context of sitting down and learning, it can be harmful. I think my brain often goes to translation too often because that's how I used to learn. Trying to unlearn that is difficult because, well, what do people even mean when they say "don't translate"? They mean when someone says "thank you", you should not go to your primary language and translate "you're welcome" from that. You should train yourself to go to your target language first when you hear the word for "thank you". A very literally translated "thank you" in Chinese "谢谢你" can come off as cold and sarcastic. I don't tell my friends that, I say "谢啦~". Direct translation can take away the difference in culture, grammar, and politeness in a language. If there is a reason you sound awkward while writing and speaking, it's probably because you're imposing your primary language on your target language.
Fix: Try as hard as you can to not work from your primary language into the target language, but to work from the structures, set phrases, and grammar within the target language that you know first.
Mistake 6: The Secret Language Learners Don't Want You To Know...
...is that there is no one easy method. You are not going to learn French while you sleep, or master Korean by doing this one easy trick. Learning a language requires work and dedication, the people that succeed are those that push through the boredom of repetition and failure. The "I learned X in 1 year/month/week/day!" crowd is hiding large asterisks, be it their actual level, the assistance and free time available to them, "well actually I had already studied this for 4 years", or just straight-up lying. Our own journeys in our native tongue were not easy, they required years and years of constant immersion and instruction. While we are now older and wiser people that can make quick connections, we are also burdened with things like "jobs", "house work", "school work", and the digital black hole that is "social media" that take up our time and energy. Everything above is to help make this journey a little bit easier, quicker, and painless, but it will never be magic.
I find that language learning has a lot in common with the fitness community. People will talk about the workout that changed their life and how no other one will do the same—and it really can be the truth that it changed their life and that they feel it is the ultimate way. The real workout that will change your life is the one you're most consistent with, that you enjoy the most. Language learning is just trying to find the brain exercise that you can be the most consistent with.
Fix: Save your energy looking for shortcuts, and do the work, fail, and come back for more. If someone tells you that you can become fluent in a ridiculously short amount of time, they are selling you a fantasy (and likely a product). You get out what you put in.
For those that made it to the end, here are some of my "universal resources":
Refold Method: I don't agree with their actual method 100%, but they've collected a lot of great resources for learning languages. I've found their Chinese and Korean discords to also be really helpful and provided even more resources than what's given in their starter guides.
Language Reactor: Very useful, and have recently added podcasts as a material! The free version is honestly all you need.
Anki: If I do not mention it, the people with 4+ year streaks with a 5K word deck will not let me forget it. It can be used on desktop or on your phone as an app. If you need a replacement for a language learning app, this is one of them. Justin Sung has a lot of great info on how to best utilize Anki (as does Refold). It's not my favorite, but it could be yours!
LingQ: "But I thought you said language apps are bad!" In isolation, yes. Sorry for the clickbait. This one is pretty good, and more interested in immersing you in the language than selling a subscription to allow you to freeze your streak so the number goes up.
Grammar Textbooks: For self-taught learning, these are going to be the best resource since it's focused on the hardest part of the language, and only that. If you're tired of seeing group work activities, look for a textbook that is just on grammar (Modern Mandarin Chinese Grammar is my rec for Chinese, and A Guide to Japanese Grammar by Tae Kim is the most common/enthusiastic rec I've heard for Japanese).
Shadowing: Simply repeat what you hear. Matt vs Japan talks about his setup here for optimized shadowing (which you can probably build for a lot cheaper now), but it can also just be you watching a video and pausing to repeat after each sentence or near simultaneously if you're able.
Youtube: Be it "Short Story for Beginners", "How to use X", "250 Essential Phrases", or a GRWM in your target language, Youtube is the best. Sometimes you have to dig to find what works for you, but I imagine there is something for everyone at every level. (Pro tip: People upload textbook audio dialogues often, you don't even have to buy the textbook to be able to learn from it!)
A Friend: Be it a fellow learner, or someone who has already mastered the language, it is easier when you have someone, not only to speak to, but to remind you why you're doing this. I write far more in Chinese because I have friends I can text in Chinese.
Pen and Paper: Study after study, writing on paper continues to be the best method for memorization. Typing or using a pen and tablet still can't compare to traditional methods.
The Replies (Probably): Lots of people were happy to give alternatives for specific languages in the replies of my DL post. The community here is pretty active, so if this post blows up at least 20% of what the last one did, you might be able to find some great stuff in the replies and reblogs.
I wish you all the best~
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blissfullyecho · 3 days ago
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Hey echo!! I’ve been following you for a while on my old tumblr account and even bought your book and toolkit which has been a game changer! Was wondering if you have some tips on looksmaxxing for black women- I do agree that looking the prettiest does get you far in life. Also where can I preorder your book? Thank you for the advice you post- I love how you keep it real! I used to be one of the girls that believed in manifestation, affirmations and subs, but you brought me back to reality!
Looksmaxxing Tips
Source: I’m from Miami and currently live in LA.
Disclaimer: I already know I’ll get cancelled for this but this is for the girls who get it.
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Hey! Aw you don’t have to be anon 🤍 thank you so much for your support!! Like truly that was very nice and I’m happy you’re still around after my hiatus. First things first, this post is going to get me in trouble but… I’ll do it lol. Remember that time I was cancelled for saying we should be shaving our underarms?
YOUR BODY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR FACE
You know it’s true. You know when you look like you take care of yourself, people treat you better. Yes, you NEED to make sure you’re at a healthy weight. Your face can be absolutely busted, but if you have a nice body, you get a pass. I’m half Hispanic, and my background and your background tends to get on the heavier side pretty quickly. There is so many scientific research about how we develop Type 2 Diabetes quicker and we’re globally at a higher weight. So this is the part when I’m gonna get cancelled: you have to be fit. You have to be in shape. You have to have muscle. You have to be tight and toned.
———- WORKOUTS I RECOMMEND
1. Pilates $$-$$$
2. Barre $$-$$$
3. Running/Sprinting/Walking/Stairmaster $-$$
4. Kickboxing $-$$
5. Solid Core, Barry’s, SoulCycle, Pelaton, etc. $$-$$$
6. Growing Anna Nas (YouTube. For some reason I can’t link YouTube links) $0
7. Pamela Rief (YouTube) $0
8. MadFit (Youtube) $0
——— MY DIET TIPS
1. I eat whatever I want, but I eat so in moderation. It’s so important that you don’t deprive yourself because this should be a lifestyle. I get lunch portions, kids meals, the smallest size of unhealthy foods (like I would get a small fry for example), etc. Ben & Jerry’s has the really tiny ice cream cups that I’ll get if I want something sweet. But food known to cause weight gain, I’ll still eat them but I won’t have normal portions of it because normal portions of those kinds of foods are literally 1,000+ calories.
2. I’m against drinking my calories unless it’s a meal replacement (like a smoothie)
3. I practice intermittent fasting. I’ve done 18:6, 16:8, 20:4, and 23:1. They are all great. I think it’s healthy to give your body a rest from eating throughout the day to allow it to digest. I eat from 12pm-6pm some days, but some days if I’m going out to dinner, I push it back to maybe 4pm-10pm. So many benefits to this, do your research.
4. I don’t eat carbs for dinner. Carbs are essential for energy. Why do I need energy at night? Protein, healthy fats, and veggies is what I stick to. I limit carbs to my smoothie and lunch. But my main dish is never a carb; I like fat and protein as my main dish with a SIDE of carbs like rice or a side pasta dish.
I don’t recommend Ozempic or other alternatives! You’ll get the Ariana Grande sunken in face and look absolutely insane. That’s the side effect that scares me the most, and it usually happens later on after being on Ozempic for it to take affect. I want to keep my face plump.
DON’T TOUCH YOUR FACE SURGICALLY
I’m always a fan of a good rhinoplasty, but make sure you come to LA for one. NYC has really good doctors too. Never, EVER get your surgeries done in Miami. Business is so shady in Miami that I don’t trust it. I’m not telling you to get a nose job— I’m saying that’s the only procedure I’m actually for and not against.
I used to get Botox and I stopped. The problem with Botox is that is prevents muscle movement, which will develop muscle atrophy. Meaning, your face muscles will lose shape and strength sooner than normal, and your face will start to sag. My credentials is that I have a nursing degree and I dated a plastic surgeon over the last year.
I’m sure you don’t need lip filler, but a little (like half a syringe) to make your lips go out further is a GAME CHANGER. Just make sure you dissolve filler each time you decide you want a touch-up.
Another trend is buccal fat removal— I don’t know WHY people are wanting the snatched face because it makes you look so horse-like and old. I’m only talking to those who don’t naturally have a snatched face. There’s a difference between looking puffy, and having face fat. Face fat is good, it keeps you looking youthful! So don’t get that done.
Stay away from all other fillers.
COME TO LA FOR BODY PLASTIC SURGERY
I’m the biggest advocate for breast augmentations. I got my boobs done because I wanted them to look more perfect. You just have to make sure you go to a good doctor. Don’t be cheap with it. But getting your boobs done just elevates your look but don’t get crazy. A perky C cup is fine, even a perfect D cup is fine. Get the boobies up and perky. Push-ups and other chest workouts are good to start doing but they’re not going to be total game-changers. If you like your boobs, great. But if you want that perfect body inside and outside of clothes, get the girls up. Give them some volume.
If you have extra flab or skin, go for the non surgical procedures!! I got Morpheus8 done on my inner thighs because I had a bit of loose skin from weight loss (it was like 50lb weight loss and I lost it fast) and my thighs are sucked in and cute now). But it depends on what they have but go to a medical spa ran by a plastic surgeon. Don’t go to the commercial med spas or anything.
Body Gua-Sha is really good to do as well to help shape you up a little. I do this after every morning shower.
GET A SPRAY TAN
Yes, you should get a spray tan. I know you don’t need one, but your skin tone would pop so much more if you got one and they hide so many imperfections on your skin. Everyone looks better tan— everyone. It’s giving summer vibes all year round and I’m here for it. My black friends get spray tans and I’ve seen the difference in real time. Skin just looks so much healthier and younger with a spray tan. But it has to be a spray tan, it has to be a little artificial to look good lol. I know people swear the sun is the best but when I go out in the sun, I turn grey!!!! I turn such a weird color but because I fake tan, I keep my golden color without looking moldy lol. It’s giving that SpongeBob episode when he had the suds. Try it once and tell me how it goes lol. I swear you’ll be obsessed. I actually want you to message me and lmk.
MAKEUP, LASH EXTENSIONS, MICROBLADING
Your lashes should be undetectable. Classic natural set with a wispy and individual mix ONLY. Lashes should only be used for a thicker lash line, NOT for length. If you get strip lashes, make sure they’re natural and WISPY. The more natural and effortless the better. You also look younger and classier too. I’m a fan of a natural looking micro blade, but keep your brows natural. Don’t fan them out or fluff them, but don’t have IG brows. You want to fool people into thinking you’re just naturally like this. Obviously when you go out, do the brows or lashes, but on a normal Wednesday 2pm, it’s not necessary. Makeup should always be glowing. Matte makes you look like a grandma. A subtle glow in the cheeks or nose just gives healthy. Matte gives chalky.
HAIR
Keep it SAFE with hair. Natural color, natural length, healthy hair. How you style it is up to you but make sure it goes with your face shape. Hair that’s too long can be too much and hair that’s too short can make you look a little older. I don’t know if you wear your natural hair or if you install, but if you install keep it at an appropriate length. Think VS model. If your hair is natural and you wear it out, scratch everything I just said :) but keep colors natural and your hair healthy!
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I’m running out of space to type, but I’ll say this. Your BEST template is a Victoria’s Secret Angel. Not the new ones lol that show was embarrassing. I’m talking about the OG VS. That’s if you want to be universally stunning. Everyone will turn heads at a VS Angel. You want to give classy, but you also want to give youthful and sexy. Look at paparazzi photos of them being off-duty. Gain style and look inspiration off of them. They got CANCELLED for not being inclusive and it hurt feelings. Now they aren’t making nearly as much money before and the brand is tainted because a few insecure women decided to be all emotional. See what happens when you listen to insecure toads?
I didn’t want this post to be something you can find on the internet because there’s so much about this on the internet, but I gave you some opinions based off things I see that I agree/don’t agree with.
🖤🍸Make sure to check out my book called The Luxe Girl’s Playbook to Life for a fresh perspective on reinventing yourself for 2025. You’ll receive immediate access after purchase.
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