#i need to go to bed i have a dentist appoint tomorrow what am i doing

[keltherealone]

VIRUS 2024 - SacrifStuff

[himegureisu]

3 | The Woman

Mycroft never texts if he can talk. Must be a root canal. - Sherlock

Did you have a domestic? -Mrs. Hudson

Caring is not an advantage. -Mycroft

A/N: Those lines above are what inspired this chapter. This is set in S1 E3 The Great Game. Enjoy!

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Angst (?), Sick Reader

WC: 1600~

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—————————— 🔎——————————

From the horizon, dawn begins to break upon the land.

Through the curtains, a soft golden hue is cast across the study. On the furniture, light and shadow dance, shelves of old leather tomes, and the occasional trinkets are briefly emphasized by the sun’s radiance. From the fireplace, a hint of cinnamon and fresh parchment wafts through the room.

A piece of quiet in the chaos that is life.

“Myc, I called Anthea to clear your schedule for tomorrow and the following Friday,”

Against the light, on his chair, Mycroft works. His gaze, previously on the thin dossier, turns to you as you enter.

“Why is that, my dear?” he asks. Truly clueless on this.

“Dentist appointments for you,”

Oh, that.

His tooth has been bothering him for a week and he hasn’t done anything about it. You checked. His schedule for the month didn’t include a single dentist appointment.

This man.

“You didn’t need to, my dear,” Mycroft dismissed, “It will go away,”

“You don’t know that,” In front of his desk, you stand, hands on your hips, as he winced from the pain, “You’re not a dentist, Myc,”

“I am one of the most intelligent people in the world,” he attests. His patience was thin from a long night. His ire slowly rose. Was this the only reason you disturbed him? When there was much to do than this? “I do know what this is,”

“Is it so bad that I care that you’re in pain?”

“Caring is not an advantage,” he simply answered.

What? Did he honestly just say that? Where did that even come from?

His solid gaze and silence afterward were the answer. Your heart ached at its implications. Was everything a lie? Your mind conjures every memory and moment shared between you two. His smile, laughter, and the way he longed for your touch. Your chest is heavier, the thoughts slowly consuming you.

Did he not care?

“If caring is not an advantage, then I guess this whole marriage is a sham,” your voice breaking, you turned away, “Don’t expect me for breakfast, or dinner, or even in bed tonight,”

His eyes widened in shock, at last, he recognized the implication of his words, however, too late. His study door slammed shut, as you walked out, and echoed throughout the house. Regret and shame weighed heavily on his shoulders.

What has he done?

—————————— 🔎——————————

True to your word, you weren’t at breakfast. You couldn’t face him. Your cheeks are stained. Your eyes puffed from crying in the guest room. Your rings seem to mock you on sight. It was tempting to throw them off the Thames but decided against it.

It was too early for that.

Your chauffeur dropped you off at work as usual. Your eyes are hidden behind a pair of shades that others did well not to comment on. Your head aches from the tears and turmoil, but you know that life goes on.

Your phone is slowly bombarded by his messages that you rightfully ignored.

Throughout the morning, your headache worsened. Your focus is off, the letters on your computer screen blur, and the room spins a bit around you. 

Every joint in your body hurts, not because of Mycroft, but because the warmth radiating from your breath is the only sign you need.

A fever. You couldn’t work, not like this.

Your manager was informed of your condition and tasked not to tell your husband that you were sick. Your chauffeur immediately returned to pick you up when he started to text him.

“Don’t you dare report back to him,” you snap at the man withdrawing his hold on the phone, “If he cares, then he’ll text me directly not you,”

“Yes, ma’am,” they comply.

At home, you bundle yourself in the guest bedroom. Medicine on one nightstand, soup on the other as you hide beneath the sheets, tears falling once again hoping that everything would turn out okay.

—————————— 🔎——————————

Your genuine interest in who he was beneath the stoic persona was what first attracted him to you. Other people didn’t do that. Other people never did that.

But evidently, you weren’t other people.

That’s why when you didn’t come for breakfast, for the first time, in a long time, he was scared. Scared of losing you because of who and how he is.

When his messages were ignored when he asked for an update and your driver simply answered I can’t say, sir, her orders. The pit that formed in his stomach only went deeper. His anxiety escalates with each passing minute.

He couldn’t work, not like this. He was wrong. He needed to make it right.

“Anthea,” he called over the intercom, the young assistant quickly appeared phone on hand, “Do clear my schedule for the rest of the day I’m going home,”

“Sir?” Anthea inquired, as he started to walk out, “What about —”

“No, this is important,” The most important.

“Of course, sir, I’ll have your car waiting outside,”

His driver takes the fastest route back upon his insistence. His thoughts were a whirlwind of the worst scenarios. What if you were gone? What if you truly left, rings on the countertop and a letter in the kitchen to explain?

By five in the afternoon, he was home. The earliest he’s been in years.

God, he could do better than this. He should. You shouldn’t need to wait for hours for him to come home. He should be a better husband than that.

“Darling, I’m home!” he announced, as soon as he crossed the threshold, though no one answered, and looked around, “My dear, please we need to talk,”

Nothing.

Panic. Complete and utter panic takes over the great Mycroft Holmes.

His heavy steps echoed through the halls as he rushed to the master’s bedroom to find no one. Yet, your effects remained where they were. He goes through every single room in the house until he opens the door to one of the guest bedrooms.

On the bed, beneath a thick lump of blankets, you curled up miserably and ignored his arrival.

“I’m sorry,” he breathed out, walking over to the side of the bed, “My dear, please look at me,”

“No,” you quietly answered, “Go away, Mycroft,”

His heart sank at your firm position away from him. He did hurt you, so bad that you couldn’t face him.

Though, you weren’t exactly presentable.

There were tissues crumpled on the other side of the bed. Your cheeks were wet, nose stuffed and red, and eyes swollen from crying as he started to speak.

“I am sorry. I can’t say that enough to make this better,” he paused, his gaze on the mound that separates you, “I didn’t mean to imply that I didn’t care about you. I do care and love you. To love and to cherish, till death do us part that’s a vow I intend to keep, my love,”

Your attention is caught by his term of endearment. He rarely ever calls you that.

“It is that I simply choose what I care about and the rest is insignificant,” he explained, “Caring for trivial little things like a dentist appointment doesn’t matter to me,”

“It does matter to me. You take care of others far too well but you neglect yourself.” you softly said, from beneath the blankets, “Your parents, brother, and I are under constant protection of guards but who protects you Mycroft? Who protects you from yourself? Who cares for the carer? I don’t want you to die early Mycroft. There’s so much life has in store for us,”

Your headaches after that little speech. A sharp pain briefly passes through causing you to wince and close your eyes.

“I understand. I will endeavor to do and take care of myself better,” he says and turns to see the back of your head poking out from the sheets. 

“My love, please look at me,”

You shake your head no. Big mistake.

Your pained groan comes to his ears loud and clear as he leans down to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear.

“Darling?” His fingers touch the side of your head, very warm. No rather alarmingly warm, “You’re sick,”

He deduced and finally, you push the blanket down a bit to face him. Your body is a raging furnace. Your skin is too pale in the light. Your breaths are shallow and insufficient. His hand is cool on your skin as he places it on your forehead with a frown.

“How long has this been?” he asks, noticing the medicine and cold soup on the nightstands, “How are you feeling? When did you last take medicine?”

To think, he thinks he doesn't care when he fusses like a mother hen.

“Just this afternoon, I’m tired, hot yet cold, one nostril is clogged annoying and my head hurts so much,” you confessed, “I drank paracetamol when I came home so it’s been five hours,”

“You can take another one then,” he stands up, “After I ask for food from the kitchens,”

“Okay,” you concede, as he kissed your cheek, “Myc, don’t. You’ll get sick,”

“I never get sick, love,” he walked over to the door to leave, but paused in step, “Are we okay?”

His eyes glisten in hope and fear of your answer. Your lips slowly turn upward as he quietly continues to assess you and your condition.

“We’re getting there,”

You say a sense of relief washes over you both. He nods, a small smile playing on his lips before he heads out to fetch food for you. As he leaves, he can’t help but feel grateful that in all of the people in the world, you loved him despite everything.

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[cesiousblue]

Hey I really hate to ask for help, but if you have anything to spare I would really appreciate the help. It's been catastrophe after catastrophe lately and me and my family are having a rough time. (Further explanation at the end of the post)

If you can't help, please reblog!

My ko-fi is at https://ko-fi.com/cesiousblue and I also have pay-what-you want phone backgrounds/a fun art practice guide, and commissions starting at 15 bucks.

Further explanation of the situation:

My whole life has been an ongoing catastrophe lately and I feel like i am really helpless. My dad's wife has brain damage/ is in the hospital and he's got low mobility and a roach infested house. They live like an eight hour drive away and we have no money so I'm having to take money from my transphobic brother to stay in a hotel, and I have four days there to try to solve like six months of problems without the resources to do so.

We're already in debt and i am deeply aware of just how much time I have to try to turn things around for myself, too. I need to find a new online job I can actually do but the rest of everything has been so overwhelming I haven't really had time or brains pace to do it.

Also I have been trying to get a dentist appointment at a place that will bill medi-cal because I ground my teeth so hard I cracked a molar.

(If several ppl weren't depending on me I think I'd just go crawl into a bog and never return)

A little update 3/16:

We're heading up to my dad's tomorrow and the new plan is to try to get him to come back down with us. He doesn't seem like he can live on his own. And until we can figure out how to get him help here it's just gonna be me and my mom taking care of him.

(The good news is I went to a different dentist and I guess the first one straight up lied to me and all I did was chip a tooth in the back. I'll need a filling but that's not as bad as I thought)

Donations/ comms/ shop purchases still definitely needed! If we CAN convince him to come with us, It'd be nice if we could get a bed or something here so I don't have to start sleeping on an air mattress

[seventh-district]

update #2.

they managed to work me in this afternoon and i am pleased to report that while today’s fix was only temporary and i’ve still got more work to be done tomorrow and next month, i am in Less Pain now !!!

screaming shaking crying trembling wailing sobbing throwing up punching the wall in anguish and agony and angst etc etc etc

[timeoverload]

I just got home from taking Harry to the vet. It was a challenge but we made it. He was a good boy for the most part. He cried in the car the whole way there and on the way back but I kind of expected that. I'm just glad he is taken care of for now. I do have to take him back in 3 weeks for a leukemia booster. I also need to schedule to get his teeth cleaned soon and he will probably need some extracted so that's not going to be cheap. I am also going to have to figure out how to get all 3 of them on a diet. I got them some fancy food so hopefully I can convince them to eat it because they are picky and only eat the cheap stuff. I know it's bad for them though. Harry is so overweight that they didn't even bother weighing him today. He was 12 pounds the last time I took him. I'm assuming he weighs at least 16 or 17 pounds now. I'm not excited to try to take the other 2 at all but I have to. I'm just afraid that they might have a bunch of problems too. I feel like I'm going to have to go to the vet like every weekend for a while until they are all caught up. It's going to be a lot of work but I want them all to be healthy and live a long time.

I don't know how I am going to start working part-time in November like I planned. I don't think I will be able to get enough money saved unfortunately. I don't know what I'm going to do but I know I will figure it out.

I have a lot more to worry about than I thought. My dentist appointment went well yesterday but they keep pestering me about getting my implants. I need to have that done within the next couple years. I need to budget for that because it's going to be at least $4000 and insurance doesn't cover those. I think it's so dumb because I was born without them and it's not my fault but whatever. There's nothing I can do about that. I don't think I'm in good enough shape for surgery right now either but I would really love to have a full set of teeth in the future. I still haven't rescheduled my eye exam yet and I need to because they are bothering me a lot. I don't want to buy new glasses but I don't think I have a choice.

I'm not going to get stressed about stuff right now because that won't help me. I'm worn out and I don't want to do anything at the moment. It's still too hot outside to go anywhere else today. I'm planning on doing some cleaning tomorrow and Monday. I'm going to have a beer because I think I earned it this week. I'm planning on relaxing the rest of the night and I will probably go to bed early. I hope that the rest of the weekend is good.

[living-d3ad-gh0ul]

Thursday 20th July 2023, 01.34am

I am feeling okay enough right now to write to you, to finally reply to you properly anyway. I've really missed being able to just do that.

Don't worry about your internet being shitty and going out and therefore not being able to stream, I figured there may have been some kind of issue or maybe you just weren't feeling up to it when I didn't see your name pop up on twitch. It's okay, I get it. I hope it's fixed now though and you can use the internet again at the very least.

I really did like how you handwrote me a note for my birthday. It's really personal, I love small gestures like that so much. And thank you for saying I looked beautiful in my outfits, I really liked them. And those cowboy boots are absolutely coming with me to London next month. I've got some ideas of some cool outfits I'm gonna wear while I'm down there. Because weirdly being in a big city like that makes me wanna look cool, probably because there's more people or something lol. Or maybe it's just because I feel like I can be more myself there than in my shitty little town. Who knows. And no, they didn't give me my tiara on a satin pillow, although I wish they had now you've mentioned it haha. I cannot BELIEVE you've never had Biscoff anything, E. I am truly and completely OFFENDED lol. Not really, but it's so bloody good, you have to try it! I love Biscoff milkshakes too, ughhhh so good! I do get what you mean about the too much sugar thing. I actually have to go to the dentist tomorrow morning cause I've cracked a tooth and it's really sensitive. Luckily it's one in the back, so it's not noticeable at all.

I really do feel like he was around me on my birthday. I kept just getting that like.. feeling? Idk if that makes sense. But I just felt his presence and it was comforting. I like when I feel like he's nearby me. It doesn't hurt as much during those times.

I really do hope you are starting to feel a bit less brain foggy and a little better now. I'm really sorry you've been feeling like that. I know how horrible and shitty that can be, cause I've been there. But I am so fucking proud of you for doing those little small things to change your habits. And yes you're right, don't force them. Because you really are less likely to actually make any significant or proper changes that you'll stick to if you force it. Small changes and taking things one step at a time is absolutely the right way to go about it and I'm so happy that you know that too. I totally get it with the sleep too, I've been feeling a lot like that recently as well. It's probably been stress on my part but I can absolutely relate to it. But please don't ever feel like you've failed. Because you're not a failure, you never will be. You're human and we sometimes go through rough patches and make mistakes, that's just completely normal and all part of the human experience. It's how we learn from those mistakes and get through those hard times that really show our strengths and I know you are absolutely full of those. You have so many strengths that I'm not sure you even know about yourself, E. You're totally right in doing things when you're awake and not limiting yourself because oh it's late or oh it's early or whatever. Obviously I get you don't wanna be noisy or whatever at night, but there's always ways of working around things like that and doing what you can even if it is late at night. I've definitely been there myself (sometimes recently too where I haven't been able to sleep at all, so instead of just laying in bed and ruminating on my thoughts, I'll get up and do something. Even if it's just washing the dishes from the night before or folding some laundry or sorting through some things or something like that.

I really do hope you managed to get your doctor's appointments sorted out though, because you're right, those are really important and I know I definitely don't want you to miss those or not get the help you need and end up sick or in pain. I'm sure you don't too, you know what I mean (hopefully). I just care about you a whole lot and want you to be safe and well and as healthy and happy as possible.

I totally get the feeling like streaming is a chore when you're brain foggy or got some stuff going on. It's partially why I stopped streaming. I really should pick it back up at some point, I wasn't far from having 200 followers and I really enjoyed doing it actually. I think I prefer playing games with people on stream however, because I sometimes don't know what to say when no one's there or no ones talking in the chat lol. I do miss it, because it is fun, maybe I'll do a little one off stream one day. I'll let you know if I do, it'd be nice to see you there if you weren't busy on that day. Doing all the alerts and stuff was probably one of my favourite parts of streaming. I really enjoyed all that and even had an old friend I went to music college with make me some custom alerts. I think I still have them all saved on my OBS and stuff. I will say, I did go back to see your vod the other day but it's gone I think. Idk, I just kinda.. missed your voice. Whatever game you play on stream, it'll be fun. I know it will. I can't wait for more tentacleman and cyberpunk, when you're ready to of course. Please don't rush yourself or force yourself if you're not feeling up to it. I can wait, I'll always wait. Beach House are amazing. I do love them myself. Space Song is my all time favourite song too.

Last Wednesday was incredibly hard. It was such a difficult day for me. At one point I nearly just crumbled to the ground. I did read your post that evening when I got home. And I'm so thankful you posted it/were thinking of me at the time it was all happening. I really really am so grateful and God.. it just really fucking made my heart grow ten times. I really liked it, it made me feel all.. fuzzy or something. Your post really did help me too. I've been reading it over and over again. But's been so hard, E. Doing everything myself for dad. I've had no help from my mum or anyone really. Infact, my mum hasn't spoke to me since her birthday which was 4/5 days before the funeral. She didn't even text me to say she hoped things went well. I think you can see why I'm not really talking to her right now. My friend Sophie came to my dad's funeral with me which I was really grateful. She held my hand the whole way through and kept telling me how well I was doing and how he'd be so proud of me. I really hope he is. I still don't feel like it's real. I feel like it's all a bad dream and I just can't wake up from it. I keep looking at the order of service and the pictures and all his things sitting in my spare bedroom and I just keep thinking to myself "what the fuck?". I think now that everything is said and done, all the formalities are done and (most of) the paperwork and legal stuff is done and now it's all just like.. final.. it's still not sunk in. I still cannot believe that I won't ever hear my dad picking up the phone and saying "Hiya gorgeous" or how he'd always give me a kiss down the phone after saying goodbye before he hung up. My grief is sitting so heavy within me and I am trying so hard to not let it destroy me, but sometimes it's just so hard. I miss him so fucking much. I'll miss him for the rest of my life. I want to live my life for him and have a good one, because that's all he said that he wanted for me. He just wanted me to be happy and have a good life. But I know I'll always be missing a huge part of me, because he won't be there. He's the one person who was always there, no matter what, no matter if we'd argued or fallen out or whatever, if I needed him he was there. He's the one person who's never up and left and never came back. And now he's gone. He's been snatched away from me in such a cruel way and my heart hurts so much when I think of it all. I'm trying so hard to keep going, I really am, but everything just feels so... Hard right now. I'm desperately trying to look forward to going to see Joji next month in London and the little long weekend I have planned down there (I still don't know what I'm doing really apart from the concert, but I may just wing it). I know he would want me to go and enjoy myself and have fun, he wouldn't want me not to go or not to enjoy myself. Like I said, he just wanted me to have a good life and I want to do things for him, if not for myself.

I go back to work next Monday, I was supposed to go back this week and I did technically but.. I think I went back too soon. So I think after this week, I'll be in a much better space mentally to go back. I just need to rest and take time for me, try and process some of all that's happened, at least a little bit. I really hope this letter finds you well, I know it's a little long but I hope it wasn't too much of a boring or long read. I really can't wait to hear from you again soon, E.

I'm gonna put the video of all the bikes that showed up for my dad on the day. It really overwhelmed me, but in a good way. I thought I'd only have 3 or 4. But nope. A tonne showed up. And I have a couple of mine and my dad's friend's to thank for that. I hope you don't think it's weird or strange or anything.. I just.. idk it was nice to see how many people cared about my dad. I'll also show you the flowers. I organised them myself and chose them all. I thought they were really pretty. I'll also show you my nails I had especially done, with his initial and his favourite colour. We all wore yellow for him on the day too.

"But I miss you more each day you're not with me, and just know when I sleep that I'm dreaming of the only place I wanna be.."

[purplesurveys]

1675

When you opened your eyes this morning, what were your first thoughts? It was actually my mom’s voice that woke me up and the first thing I thought of was holy shit I’ll be late for my dentist appointment.

Is there anyone that you feel owes you an apology? If so, what has that person done? Nah I don’t like having beef with anyone.

What’s the most unhealthy thing you’ve eaten recently? I got a KFC Double Down last night that I actually wasn’t able to finish because heartburn LOL. It’s still in the fridge; I might have the rest of it tomorrow as I don’t feel like having it right now.

Be honest. Have you had any dirty thoughts today? Yes.

Do you remember the last dream you had about the person you love/like? I’m not interested in anyone.

What is one thing in the room you’re in that reminds you of somebody? I have a leftover slice of coffee cashew cake here and at most it reminds me of my mom as she likes sans rival, which also has cashews.

Could you ever be friends with somebody who was homophobic? That’s not even something to be discussed – no.

Would you ever want to be a supermodel, or date one? When I was in Grade 6 I wanted to model because I had friends who used to obsess over VSFS and it was all they posted on their feeds and I thought, cool I kinda want to do that too. That died out pretty quickly.

Honestly, have you ever made fun of somebody so bad they cried? My brother when he was younger because he was the brattiest, crybabyest toddler to ever exist.

Honestly, would you rather be complimented on your looks or intelligence? I’ll take whatever. A compliment is always lovely to get.

Have you ever purchased a pregnancy test, for yourself or otherwise? Nah. I almost did when a friend got a pregnancy scare and she was too anxious to get a PT herself, but everything calmed down once she got her period.

How did you meet your best friend? Did you like them at first? I met her in Grade 1; we were seatmates. I was indifferent to her at first as I was a shy kid and preferred to mind my own business, but one day I accidentally stabbed her palm with a pencil and for some reason that actually brought us closer together rather than bring out a fight.

Do you find it harder to apologize or to accept apologies? Accept. I tend to hold grudges.

Have you ever had toilet paper stuck to your shoe? Most likely, yeah.

You can get one thing, anything, for free right now. What do you pick? Why? I’d love to get a whole new wardrobe with everything I’ve been wanting to buy and wear, from tops to sneakers.

Have you ever tried writing with the opposite hand? How good/bad was it? I’m sure we’ve all tried it at least once exactly to see how we’d fare, haven’t we? Hahaha it was terrible as expected; I don’t have a good grip with my left hand at all.

Would you try to frame somebody else if your mom committed a murder? I think I’d be way too much in shock to even think of doing things like that. You wouldn’t be able to count on me to do something about that situation.

Honestly, have you ever danced naked? Sure.

What was the first illegal thing that you did? Did you get caught? Idk, maybe illegally downloading music and movies.

Sex, menstruation, or puberty - which is the most uncomfortable subject? I don’t find any of those uncomfortable.

What does the comforter on your bed look like? Did you pick it out? It’s a BT21 comforter that Reena got me on my last birthday.

When you picture flowers in your head, what color are they? Lilac.

The last time you went to the mall, what did you go for? Picked up my new glasses. It was a really quick trip as I didn’t feel like doing anything else. All the coffee shops there were packed that day so I headed straight home.

What do you plan to do tomorrow? I have an event to manage – a track meet from 5 AM to around 11 AM. The rest of the day I plan to catch up on rest, but am thinking around dinner we’ll take mom out as it’ll be Mother’s Day.

Do you ever just feel like you need to be alone for some reason? Of course. I’d be impressed if there was anyone who needed to be around people absolutely 24/7.

If you got paid $5 per survey you made, could you make a living just doing that? For sure. Do you see how many I take? Hahaha.

The last time you went out of the house, where were you going and what did you do? That would be this afternoon – I went to a nearby coffee shop to finish some work, then right after I spent time in the car to basically break down and cry and scream because I hate that I had to work on a weekend and still have an event to get through tomorrow. Then I took the long way home so that I had more time to be alone and process my feelings.

When was the last time someone cancelled plans on you? Were you annoyed? Last December when Kaye and Lea bailed last minute from our pre-Christmas gathering. I do remember being a wee bit annoyed as it was like the third time in a row they canceled on us and I had been really excited to hand them their gifts, but I got over it quickly as there was no point in staying annoyed.

Would you ever want to go on vacation with just one of your parents? It would be nice to do it every now and then, yes. Especially with my dad as we don’t get enough time with him in the first place.

In summer, do you prefer to wear dresses or shorts and tops? Or maybe something else? I like wearing sleeveless tops; for bottoms I prefer to still be covered up, but instead of jeans I’d usually opt for something more airy so that it doesn’t feel too suffocating/uncomfortable.

Has someone ever tried to start an argument with you over Facebook? What happened? Yes, it was some Fil-am who was trying to convince me that Filipinx is an acceptable term. I just ignored them as at the end of the day we were going to have different opinions anyway and it wasn’t worth my energy and time.

When you’re at home, do you spend most of your time in your room? Yep because most of my time is spent working from home, which I do in my room.

If you like to sleep in late, have your parents ever told you off for doing so? No. I like that they differ from most Filipino parents in that they never called me out in the times I’d sleep in.

How much stuff do you take with you when you go on vacation for a week? I’m a big overpacker and like taking extra clothes with me as I tend to change my mind a lot; planning outfits in advance doesn’t work for me. So if I’m on vacation for, say, 4 days, I’d usually bring clothes good enough for 6 or 7.

Could you willingly live on a vegan diet? Sure if it comes down to it, but the food has to be prepped for me or I have to be rich enough to afford vegan meals because I can’t cook hahaha.

If you’re an only child, do you wish you had siblings? If you have siblings, do you get along? I get along great with my sister.

How long have you had the shirt you’re wearing? Less than a year.

When’s the last time you straightened your hair? I was around 12.

Do you find piercings attractive? Eh, it’s a hit or miss.

How many cigarettes have you smoked today? None.

Have you seen the movie or show Catfish? I haven’t.

Do you think it’s attractive when guys wear beanies? Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t. I don’t really feel strongly towards beanies.

Do you own a black leather jacket? Nope.

Are you a seafood fan? Yesssss. I don’t really like cooked fish but I can still have it. Everything else is great. Do you prefer dark, brown or white chocolate? Milk or white.

[jesterjamz]

alrighty. so. imagine with me, if you will: it’s 2016. early february. i am in 4th grade, & at the moment i am at a friend’s birthday party. the party is at her house, so we’re just chilling in her room.

most parties have balloons. balloons are typically filled with helium. when you inhale helium your voice gets all high & silly. so we, as 4th graders, thought it would be a good idea to inhale some helium.

now, apparently helium also makes you sort of light-headed. i remember very distinctly inhaling the helium, standing up, & then almost instantly being on the floor. i don’t know what happened it’s all kind of fuzzy. but my eyes were closed, i must have been light-headed & tripped on the foot of my friend’s bed.

i open my eyes. the pain coming from my mouth comes rushing toward me instantly, the realization that something was wrong. something was broken. i start crying, as any 4th grader would do when they break their 2 front teeth.

we ended up getting surgery for it, of course. up in the city where we waited 4 hours for a 40-minute procedure. they put me under & everything. but boom, my teeth were fixed! huzzah!

that’s a lie. my teeth were not fixed.

you see, since i was literally 9 years old, they couldn’t do whatever the hell they’re gonna do to me tomorrow. so the caps they put on my teeth were temporary ones.

due to these temporary caps being literally glued on, they were very easy to break. however, they did not break until about 2 & a half years later, when they broke while i was eating strawberry puffs & playing jackbox.

these caps have broken many times after that, but that wasn’t much of a problem for the dentists to fix. but there comes a time where things must become permanent, & sometimes that time is when you turn 17.

i had a regular, normal dentist appointment. while teen titans go was playing on the tv, the dentist said “hey, you’re 17 now, right? you can get your permanent caps in.”

“oh. um. ok”

“we’ll need to get it sent to your insurance so they can approve it & stuff.”

“ok. yeah.”

that was in april. it took 3 months for my insurance to say “yeah, sure, let’s do it.” & scheduled the surgery a month later, on august 21st (which is tomorrow).

i don’t have much else to say. that’s kind of it. so umm. yeah. surgery tomorrow wish me luck 👍

what surgery is it

tooth surgery for my teeth 👍 it’s a long story but i’ll explain if anyone wants

[the-wretched-and-joyful]

Midnight Chaos

Pairing: Harrison Osterfield x Reader

Word count: 937

Requested: By @hollandbroz-n-haz

Warning: None

Summary: You are worried and awake at night, so your boyfriend should join you, shouldn’t he

A/N: Look!!! I wrote something! Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I loved writing it! P.s: sorry I didn’t post as I said I would 😥

~~

It might sound silly, but you really didn’t want the morning to come.

Sleep eluded you, only cause you kept thinking about the dreadful day tomorrow was going to be. Harrison on the other hand was snoring away merrily right beside you. While as his girlfriend, his peaceful sleep is something you’d love, right now it annoyed you. So much that you couldn’t help but snatch the entire blanket from his body and wrapping it around yourself.

It didn’t have the desired effect though. That man kept on sleeping like everything else in the world didn’t matter. But the worry for tomorrow was gnawing at your mind so badly that you had to sit up. And you also turned on the lamp on your side, cause sitting in the dark will only deepen your worry.

Hoping that the light will at least wake your snoring boyfriend, and you won’t have to directly disturb his rest, you looked at him. But once again, he remained asleep, like a rock.

“Unbelievable!” you whispered, rubbing your hand on your forehead, contemplating whether you wake him up or not. In the end, you decided that for your sanity, he would have to lose his sleep.

“Haz, Hazzy?” you called him as gently as you could, but to no avail. So you decided to shake him up a bit along with the loving calls. But once again didn’t work. So in the end, you did the only thing you could do to wake up the rock of a boyfriend you had.

“HARRISON OSTERFIELD!” you slammed your pillow on his body, with the satisfactory result of him waking up.

“THE WATCHERS ON THE WALL WILL PROTECT THE REALM!” he sat up, bewildered, not even realizing what he was saying. Looking around and noticing no imminent danger, he looked at you, sitting innocently with your pillow in your lap, “What happened?”

“Well, first, you need to stop watching game of thrones, cause you’re probably dreaming about it!” You barely kept your laughter in when he woke up saying that, “And secondly, I can’t sleep, I’m worried about tomorrow.”

Harrison almost looked close to tears at this point, “So you wake me up with a heart attack? Baby I love you but it is 6 in the morning!” he slumps against the headboard and his pillows, his hands on his chest, trying to calm his erratic heart.

“It’s not 6, it’s merely 3:30!” you roll your eyes. “And are you sure it’s not beating so fast cause it is stunned by my natural beauty?” you lean against his shoulder, only to receive his glare.

“First of all, no one has perfect bearings when woken suddenly at…” he squints at the clock beside his bed, “…3 am in the morning. And secondly, you said you were worried about tomorrow, and now you flirt with me?”

“Gee, I’m just trying to lighten up the mood!” you make a face at him and sit up, “yes I’m worried about tomorrow. What am I going to do?”

“GO TO SLEEP MAYBE? God knows why I got a crackhead of a girlfriend out of everyone, but please for the love of everything else in this world, go to sleep!” and with that he laid down, taking your pillow and covering his head with it.

Not to back down, you snatch the pillow from him and start hitting him with it, “I said I can’t sleep you dork! You should be a good boyfriend and help me out…” before you could finish what you were about to say, you were tackled by a very annoyed Harrison.

“Firstly, I don’t have advice for crazy people, cause they are crazy…” He tries to hold on to your hand as your try to smack him off of you, “and secondly, you’re worried for nothing! It’s all going to go down smoothly.”

“What if it doesn’t and I pass away?” your overthinking brain almost makes you cry.

“Guess I’ll have a chance to find someone sane!” The sarcasm in his voice was evident, but your brain was in an overthinking mode.

“OH, so you hate me? Don’t you! You hate me so much that you want me to pass away tomorrow!” the fact that you were crying sobered Harrison up now.

"I didn't say that I hate you. Plus, it’s just a dentist’s appointment to remove your wisdom teeth! No one passes away from THAT!” he tries to smile and lighten your mood, but you were not having it.

Climbing down from the bed and snatching your pillow you got ready to sleep in another room, "You implied it, that you hate me!” your voice was still thick with tears, “SO fine, have your peaceful sleep, I’ll go.” And before Harrison could even say anything you left, slamming the bedroom door behind you.

Sighing, Haz sat back down on his bed, looking at the clock once again. He would give it 15 minutes tops, but you seemed quite shaken, so he might have to go looking for you after that.

He didn’t have to though. He had laid back down, staring at the ceiling when he heard the bedroom door open, and the quiet patter of your feet at you walk to the bed and climb in, wasting no time in wrapping yourself around him.

“Shut up, don’t say a word.” Your voice still carried a grumpy undertone, but he knew it would disappear like the clumps of darkness in the room when the morning comes. So for now he only wrapped himself around you tighter, and try to convey wordlessly how much he loved you.

[julietnterein]

•| Violacea I. chp. 2 |•

It was the same routine all over again, every day. Except for weekends where I didn't had to go to the school and answer all these stupid question.

It was already Saturday afternoon and all my medical appointments were done for today. And once again I felt alone, my room seemed even more quieter when I realized that.

„Wanda? Are you okay?” A silver-haired boy appears in front of me with a worried look. „What is it?” He wants to place his hands on my shoulders.

I jerk away from his touch, before I realize that there is no one in my room. No one was about to touch. I'm all alone.

„Wanda?” I mutter for myself and then shake my head to make my head a bit clearer. It was so real. Like a fresh memory of someone that I have never seen. I don't even know anyone who would look like that man.

„Hey.” Someone greeted me behind my back so I jerked around to see Katherine smiling at me.

„Uh… Hi.” I try to smile back.

„Are you okay? You look like you just saw a ghost.” She shakes her head amused by my face.

„What? No… I'm fine…” I nod at her and turn around towards her.

„Alriiiight.” She pull chair next to my bed and sit down. „What's your plan for today?”

„Well… I'm not sure honestly.” I shrug. „By the way, don't you felt little weird recently? Like something weird is going on?”

„Like weirder than usual?” She jokes but there is this quick something in her eyes that tells me I might be onto something and she knows it.

„Well… Not exactly. Actually everything seems normal like it always is.” I'm trying to find the look in her eyes once again, but there is no sign of it, like it never happened.

„Then I guess everything is fine.” She laugh a little.

„Something just… doesn't fit.” I look at her with my brows clicked together as I watch her reaction once again.

She shifts on her chair. „I don't know about you but I always thought this place is weird and scary.” She shrugs and stands up.

„Where are you going?” I ask her, confused. „You just came.”

„Oh... “ She jerks a little like she just realized she has something important to do. „I still have some homeworks to do.”

„It's Saturday, Kath.” I tell her when she is already standing by the door.

„I will stop by tomorrow, okay?” She waves her hand at me and then she is gone.

That was strange. I just shake my head at her weird behaviour and reach for my crunches so I can help myself get to my wheelchair.

I sit down and push myself away from my room, through the hallways before I reach the common room. It's just a small part of our hospital wing where we are supposed to hang out around these old tables and play some really old and rusty board games that are on the shelves. It's much more than sad if they think that some time killers will brought us the childhood that was taken from us.

I stop next to blond boy.

„Hi, Mihas.” I smile at him. The eight year old boy smiles back. „Did you broke your arm again?” I look at his hand in the cast.

He just nods sadly and shrug his shoulders.

„Do you wanna play something?” I ask him after a while. Mihas's face lights up with happiness as he runs towards one of the shelves and brings chess board. „Well… I can't play chess but I can teach you how to play checkers.” I smile at him as I put the chessmans on the board.

„I don't know how to play that.”

„I will teach you, don't worry. It's really easy.” It take us a little bit of time before we get into it and now we are already in our third round and Mihas already won twice.

„See! You are great at it.” I praise him with a smile. „One more game and you will be even better than me.”

„Andreea?” A voice speaks behind us. I look around to see one of my assistants that attends my appointments.

„What's up?” I ask, confused, as he interrupts our next game.

„You have an appointment.” He says simply.

„I already have one in the morning. I don't have any planned for today.” I frown at him.

„We just need to check up on something.” He comes to my wheelchair to push it away.

I look back at Mihas. „We will play tomorrow, okay?” I smile at him as he nod back.

Assistant pushes me through the halls and taking me somewhere I have never been.

„But this is not the wing where I have my appointments.” I look around at him but he simply roll his eyes. Before I can even notice he takes out syringe and inject ,y shoulder with it. I don't have time to react to it as this cold wave comes over my body and all my muscles give up.

„What do you mean you see her in your dreams?” A redhead with emerald green eyes asks me.

„Since when are fortune teller?” Ask me male voice as he appears in front of me. A guy with a very cleaned shaved and funny looking beard.

„It's not just in my dreams.” Whispers this female voice through my own lips.

A sharp light comes under my eyelids.

„She is waking up.” I hear someone's voice. There is also this weird beeping behind my back that gets a little quicker as I start panic a little when I realize I can't move my hands.

„She will be startled and confused. That's gotta be two pretty strong impulses to trigger it, you have to be ready to put her to sleep at any time.” Authoritative voice beams through the room.

I finally open my eyes but I am blinded by this dentist kind of like that shines right to my eyes, which causes the fact that all around me stays in the dark away from my senses.

„What's going on?” My hoarse voice sounds through the room, with subtle terrified undertone.

„It's alright, Andreea, we just need to check up on something. Don't worry.” Face of doctor Mahler comes into my sight.

„What do you need to check up on?” I ask a question that no one dares to answer for me.

„Increase dose of epinephrine.” Says doctor Mahler. „It's alright and show us what you got.” She smiles down at me before her face disappears into the dark again.

A beeping of the machine behind my head increases rapidly and my own heart pounds loudly in my chest. All voices became louder and my breath started hitching. My lungs are on fire as there is enough oxygen because of my quick and small breaths.

I can feel all my muscles tense up before a loud scream escapes my own lips. Whole set of lightbulbs above my head smashes into all directions before the whole room ends in a dark silence. I can feel my breath coming slowly back to normal and all I see in this darkness is weird purplish dust that is setting down around my fingers before it disappears completely.

A door opens somewhere in the room and some people with flashlights come in.

„A whole wing is without electricity, doc.”

Chp. 3

@littlegasps

[leafs-lover]

Because Two People Got Drunk: 32

Series Masterlist

Chapter 32

A/N: I finished this kind of quickly and wanted to get it out so I didn’t re-read it, So I hope it’s okay. Italics indicates flashback.

Summary: You and Fred adjust to a home life with three kids, and attend Sidney and Kathy’s wedding.

Warning: Drinking, swearing, smut, oral sex (m+f) receiving

Word Count: 5800

“Hey” you smile wrapping your arms around Kathy.

“Hey come in” she smiles pulling to the hotel room. You walk in seeing the five other bridesmaids and a bottle of champagne already empty on the table. A couple of the girls have face masks on, laughing about something; others are sitting on the couch with half empty glasses. Tomorrow is Sidney and Kathy’s wedding, being a bridesmaid you are staying with the group for a relaxing night before all the festivities begin first thing in the morning.

“You must be so happy to get away for a night” one of the girls says to you, Kathy passing you a red solo cup with champagne.

Tonight is the first night you are without the kids, and its Fred’s first time watching the three of them for a night alone. You chuckle slightly “yeah I feel bad for Fred” you say taking a sip.

“You don’t have to lie to us” Kathy says smirking over her cup.

You smile and chuckle “okay I kind of feel bad for him but I’m also super happy to be away and have a night off. A night with an entire bed to myself, it is going to be amazing.”

“And no diapers or someone puking on you” one of the girls jokes causing everyone to laugh.

The twins have been home for almost 5 weeks and it has been just as crazy as you imagined. You haven’t left Fred alone with the three of them for more than a couple hours at a time; not because you don’t think he can handle them but because you feel bad given how crazy it has been. That is until three weeks ago.

“Freddie” you call walking out to the living room. Fred is lying shirtless on the couch, Noah resting against his chest and Lucas sleeping in his arm. Fred doesn’t respond and you walk further in “shhh daddy’s sleeping” Oliver calls from the floor playing with a puzzle, causing you to smile placing your groceries on the counter.

You had some errands to run and left Fred alone with the three boys for the first time. You felt bad leaving but Fred said he would be fine, but you remember the time you were alone with them and how terribly it went. Fred reassured you everything would be fine so you headed out.

You had a dentist appointment and a hair cut in preparation for the wedding. After your haircut you checked your phone not seeing any notifications and went to get some groceries; but you didn’t notice you had accidentally put your phone on flight mode; preventing calls and texts from getting through.

Your smile quickly fades as you scan the room taking in what has unfolded during your absence. Dishes and bottles were pilled all over the counter; Fred’s shirt is thrown over the back of a barstool. You see some vomit staining his blue t-shirt and chuckle lightly. Oliver has a million toys strewn across the floor his shirt nowhere in sight.

You walk over to Oliver, dodging the blocks scattered around the floor and kiss his forehead “you good for daddy while I was gone?” you ask softly and he nods not looking up from his puzzle.

Your eyes shift to the couch, soft snores leaving his mouth and he has some dried vomit in his hair. You carefully pull Lucas from his arm and Fred doesn’t move. You walk across the room and put him in his baby swing turning it on a soft setting.

When you pick up Noah Fred stirs and his eyes flutter open “hey” he mumbles through a raspy dry voice.

“What happened to his clothes?” you ask eyeing to Noah who is just in a diaper.

“He had a um…incident” he mumbles rubbing his eyes. “Diaper, poop” he pops his hands open to mimic an explosion. “After cleaning him in the sink I never managed to get him some new clothes.”

You sit beside him on the couch bouncing Noah in your arms trying not to laugh, but secretly thankful you missed it. “Lucas projectile vomited all over me” he groans rolling on his side while you brush his hair out of his eyes. “Oliver had something, I don’t even know. He picked up on the stress or wanted attention, I don’t know. He had a meltdown; threw his toys around spilt lunch on himself and the floor. Twins were screaming bloody murder, it was a fucking disaster.”

“Why didn’t you call me?” you ask watching his eyes close again feeling extremely guilty being gone for so long.

“I did, it went right to voicemail, texts undelivered. I figured you just wanted to enjoy your time away” he laughs.

“Sorry babe” you respond lightly placing a soft kiss on his forehead.

“It’s okay, I just don’t remember newborns being this tiring” he mumbles rising up on his elbow. His eyes go wide while he takes in the disaster in front of him..

“Last time we were younger. There was also only one baby then” you respond laying him back on the couch.

“Calling me old babe?” he laughs eyes closing. You kiss his forehead and place a blanket over him “no never” you joke smiling at him. ”Go have a nap I’ll clean up and make dinner.”

“Babe don’t leave me again” he mumbles which causes tears to prick the corner of your eyes; guilt washing over you. You shoot him a soft smile and stand up to get some clothes for Noah.

Since that day three weeks ago neither of you have left the other alone for an extended period of time. That is until now; he reassured you he would be fine, having a few more weeks to adjust to having three kids. You promised to make sure your phone wasn’t on airplane mode and he promised to message you if something happened. But you honestly doubt he would call you tonight, the night before the wedding unless the house was on fire.

A few hours later you are in your pyjamas in your room alone, you want to just curl up under the duvet and wait until the morning light filters in through the window but you know you shouldn’t. You pull your phone out Facetiming Freddie.

“Hey babe” he mumbles. The screen is dark for a second while you wait for him to turn on a lamp. He presses his eyes closed, gently rubbing the sleep from them before squinting at the bright lights.

“We’re you sleeping?” you ask. You look to the clock and it reads 11:06 and you feel a tinge of guilt.

“Yeah well looking after three babies for almost 8 hours gets can be exhausting” he sighs resting his phone against the pillow. “Fell asleep at like 9:30.”

“Sorry go back to bed” you say softly “I’ll see you tomorrow anyways.”

“No I want to hear about your night of freedom” he laughs. “You girls do anything crazy?”

“Room service, mani/pedi’s, face masks, champagne” you say smiling.

“Sounds really nice” he yawns eyes struggling to stay open.

“It is, now I have this king sized bed all to myself” you respond.

“It sucks I miss you in this bed” he whines.

“I’d miss me too” you giggle into the phone.

The corners of Fred’s mouth curl up, “drunk babe?” he laughs.

“We didn’t drink a lot with the wedding tomorrow and everything” you explain, a hiccup coming out of your mouth. You laugh a little bit “maybe I am a bit” you reply and Fred laughs back into the phone.

“I like slightly drunk (Y/N)” he says seductively. “Drunk (Y/N) is fun.”

You grin into the screen and talk a little bit longer, he tells you about his night with the boys. You tell him more about the night with the girls, your buzz from the champagne making you extra talkative. You notice Fred is quiet and see his eyes are shut, having fallen asleep holding the phone. You chuckle and hang up, quickly falling into a deep sleep.

“Oh we’re having kids right away, by this time next year I want there to be a baby” Kathy says from her chair getting her hair done. Sarah the maid of honour walks around handing out some mimosas to everyone before sitting down for her hair.

“I’m legit getting my IUD out 5 hours before we leave for our honeymoon, we aren’t messing around” she says taking a sip.

“Oh I need to get mine” you say quietly, with how busy the past few weeks have been you forgot to make an appointment.

Kathy all but chokes on her mimosa “what do you mean you need to get yours?”

You turn your head meeting her gaze not realizing she heard you. You feel all eyes on you while the hair stylists continue quietly working on your hair. “I’ve just been so busy the past month or so, I completely forgot to make an appointment. Three babies are a lot, were constantly busy.”

“And you think four will be easier?” she scolds from beside you. “Are you trying to get pregnant again!?”

“God no, we are done, we decided pretty soon after finding out it was twins we were done” you saw laughing.

“Then why aren’t you on birth control? You guys are obviously very fertile” Sarah jokes taking a sip from her glass.

“Well the plan was for me to get an IUD after giving birth, but after the emergency C that didn’t happen. But we’ve been so busy since the twins came home; I mean we barely have time for sex.” That part isn’t a lie; you would only need one hand to count how many times you have had sex. Lucas and Noah are on opposite schedules during the night, so when you get one to sleep, you get about 2 hours or so before the other wakes up. Between the limited sleep and chasing a rambunctious toddler who has been boycotting nap time it has led to you and Fred spending most nights actually sleeping instead of tangled in the sheets.

You get some suspicious glances from the girls “a couple nights ago we were getting ready for bed and Fred came up behind me in the bathroom kissing my neck. I finished my routine and walked into the bedroom less than ten minutes later and he was snoring on top of the sheets. It’s pretty common in our house” you laugh.

“Kay, but Oliver took one time” Kathy says.

“Yeah but I’m breast feeding, it’s 99% effective until they are 6 months. I will get an IUD but until then my doctor says we’re protected.” you reply smiling. The women drop it and continue with casual conversation while you finish getting ready.

“You look stunning” Fred says finding you after the ceremony at the fountain outside the venue. The entire wedding party and family members are scattered around in various conversations while the pictures are taken. His hands rest on your waist he leans down to kiss your cheek.

Kathy picked out a navy spaghetti strap dress with a deep v-shaped neckline, the fabric gathers just above your waist. There is a slit coming up your leg, stopping high on your thigh. You have a natural look for makeup complete with nude lips and gold eyes. You have a braid in your hair creating a crown around the back; it then is pulled into an updo at the back of your head with a few loose curls framing your face. Your hair being held back by a million bobby pins shows off the cut of your dress.

“Thanks babe” you respond smiling. You run your hands over his suit jacket “you look amazing too” you rise slightly on your heels to kiss him on the lips. He is wearing a new crisp burgundy suit with a black skinny tie.

“Ok, I look good, but have you seen yourself? I’ll have to thank Kathy later” he jokes placing a hand on your lower back. “This dress babe, absolutely stunning” he leans down to place another kiss on your lips when you get interrupted.

“(Y/N) we need you for a picture” Sarah calls causing Fred to groan and pull away from you.

“Guess I’ll just have to stare at you for the next few hours” he brings his lips to the side of your face “and think of what I’ll do once you’re out of that dress.” He pulls away smirking at you and walking away from you, you feel some wetness pool between your legs. You take a couple deep breaths before joining the group for pictures.

The rest of the wedding goes off without a hitch, throughout the dinner you feel Fred staring at you from his table across the venue. Every time you catch him staring he smiles at you and turns his attention away briefly, only to bring it back a few minutes later. You shake your head at him slightly; your eyes go wide when he licks his lips with his eyes locked on you.

“You know the entire ceremony all I was thinking about was what you’re going to look like in a wedding dress” he whispers hand sliding onto your lower back dancing slowly to the music.

You smile looking past him but turn to meet his gaze “I mean it” he says kissing your forehead “I can’t wait until it’s our wedding.”

“Want to push it to next year?” you ask while he spins you back into his hard chest. You had been discussing taking two years for the wedding just so you aren’t rushed and don’t have to pull time away from your family to get everything done.

“Think we can get everything done in time? Won’t be too stressful for us” he’s holding you close; you can smell his cologne causing your breath to catch in your throat.

“Yeah I was looking at places, and this one castle has a planner that will help coordinate most of the stuff” you respond. “They do the food, alcohol, décor and have an in house photographer and videographer.”

He turns to look at you slightly confused “didn’t know there were any castles in North America.”

“Oh I was thinking Denmark” you say smiling up at him.

Fred stops dancing looking down at you “you want to get married in Denmark?”

“Yeah” you smile. “It’s so beautiful there, and it’s where you’re from.”

“And you’re from Canada; there are a lot of beautiful places there. You don’t want to get married there?” he asks.

“Canada doesn’t have castles, besides we can leave the boys at your moms and go on our honeymoon” you say causing a large grin to cross his face while he resume dancing.

“So Denmark, next summer” he repeats with a smile on his face. You nod in agreeance feeling Fred’s lips press against yours; you release his arm sliding a hand up to the back of his neck. You open your mouth to deepen the kiss. You feel Fred lean forward, tilting you back your other hand gripping the back of his neck. Your moans are swallowed by the kiss, his hand sliding slightly lower to your ass where it stays for a few more songs.

You see the other guests making their way to the roof and follow the crowd. You lean your head back onto Fred’s chest, his hand resting on your stomach. You tilt your head to the sky, watching as it lights up in a colourful display. Fred’s thumb gently rubs circles on your stomach, a soft sigh leaving your lips while you watch the fireworks.

“I love you” Fred whispers in your ear part way through the show “I’m so lucky to have you.”

You turn around in his grip, wrapping your arms around him under his jacket resting your head on his chest. A slight shiver courses through your body from the cool night air, arms tightening against his body. Fred pulls away and pulls his jacket off and drapes it over your shoulders. You tilt your head, your gaze shifting from the fireworks to Fred’s eyes.

The colours in the sky reflecting off his eyes while he smiles down at you. The heels you are wearing help to close the gap, but you still have to lift up slightly to press your lips to his. One of Fred’s hand rests on your back inside his jacket, the other gripping the back of your neck. It runs slightly into your hair getting caught in the curls and bobby pins currently holding it in place.

You open your mouth for him, his tongue sliding in. Your hips involuntarily arch forward into his touch, hands sliding up his stubbled chin. His hand on your back slides down giving your ass a firm squeeze causing you to pull away slightly with your draw dropping open,.

“Relax my jacket is long enough nobody can see” he mumbles bringing his lips closer to yours again. You can see the half smile tugging at the sides of his mouth when his lips come crashing back against yours.

“How long do we have to stay” you mumble into the kiss.

You hear Fred groan and feel his half erection pressing into your stomach. He pulls his left hand away to look at the watch wrapped around it “its only 11” he responds causing a loud groan to slip from your lips. Luckily the firework display muffles you from nearby guests.

“We have a very comfortable bed waiting for us” you continue resting your hand on his chest feeling some moisture that has collected from the dancing throughout the night.

“A bed where we can sleep uninterrupted” he jokes “no kids.”

You laugh turning your gaze back to the firework show as they prepare for the finale. “Sleeping in, breakfast in bed” he groans under his breath, you clench your legs

A few hours later after many more drinks you are finally walking into the hotel elevator. As soon as the door closes Fred is on you, hoisting you up with ease. He presses your back to the wall, your legs naturally wrapping around him. His hand slides to the bottom of your thigh, while his other to your thigh where your leg slit has left you exposed. He runs his hand up your skin stopping when he hits your hip bone. His thumb plays gently with the cloth covering your core his mouth peppering kisses along your exposed collarbone only stopping when the door dings open.

He sets you down, adjusting his jacket while you fix the fabric that has shifted from your breasts. He leads you down the hall holding the door open for you. You step out of your shoes and Fred immediately loosens his tie pulling it over his head, throwing it along with his jacket on the floor. Fred turns and bends down throwing you over his shoulder while making his way to the bed.

He throws you onto the bed a light squeal escapes from you. You hear his shoes be kicked to the side, next is a belt buckle clanging on the hardwood floor and last his vest is discarded on the ground. You rest on your forearms watching as he undoes a couple buttons from his neck. You swallow the lump in your throat feeling wetness pool between your legs.

You think about how you could stare at Fred all night while he rolls the sleeves of his dress shirt up, showing off his muscular forearm. Before you have a chance to stare much longer Fred crawls over you locking you in a hungry and passionate kiss. He bends your knee his hand running up and down the exposed skin from your slit.

He crawls down you climbing inside the bottom of your dress hooking your legs over his shoulders in the process. He slowly arches your back off the bed pulling your underwear down your legs. You feel him alternate between kissing and sucking the side of your thigh, while a deep exhale leaves your lips.

He nips your skin slowly approaching the area you need him most, his beard rubbing against your folds. He turns his head, warm breath blows against you coming closer to you. His nose presses into your clit first, followed by his mouth gently attaching to you. He flattens his tongue and licks a stripe up you, your head falling back into the pillow.

He groans against you “you’re so wet baby” he mumbles placing long licks, cleaning up what has been pooling all night.

“You’ve seen yourself right” you moan while he dip his tongue inside your walls. You feel the corners of his lips curl up at your comment licking deep inside you. Your heels dig into his back; you reach down to grab his hair but are met with the chiffon fabric of your dress. You bring them down to your side and grip the bedding his nose digging in deeper into your clit.

You buck your hips up towards his face, his hands slide over your hips pulling you down closer to his face. You start rocking your hips against his face and tongue moaning loudly. He flicks his tongue sucking against your clit.

“Oh fuckkkkk” you moan loudly. Too loudly; feeling his tongue hitting inside your sweet spot. He throws his arm over your hips pinning you to the mattress; he rolls his head around in circles, grunting and moaning into your pussy. You feel your orgasm building when he curls his tongue inside you. He brings up two fingers sliding them in and opening you up further moaning at the taste of you.

Your legs tighten around his head holding him closer to you while you clench around his tongue. He works you through your orgasm continuing the pace until you stop. You relax against him when you are finished and he pulls his tongue out all the way cleaning you up. You expect him to stop but he continues to lick up and down your pussy, flicking at your clit when he gets to it. His fingers curl in hitting your sweet spot he hits it a few times tongue flicking against your clit. He brings you to another quick orgasm, this one so strong your legs shaking around him. Your knuckles are white and you tremble; his tongue still working you through it.

He pulls his head away slowly, his beard grazing along your thighs. You shiver at the contact and the feeling of your sensitive cut being released.

“You need more clothes like this” he says head popping out from your dress “the leg slit is very useful.”

You tilt your head laughing while your grip eases on the bedding. “I’ll be sure to add some in to my wardrobe, flowy dresses are very convenient with newborns.”

Fred crawls up towards you, juices glistening off his beard a smile plastered on your face. “Good” he mumbles bringing his lips to yours. You moan tasting yourself on him and feeling his painfully hard member pressing into your stomach.

He pushes your straps down your shoulders and he gently lifts your back feeling around for a zipper. “It’s on the side” you whisper turning slightly to allow him better access. You hear the zipper while he slowly drags it down you helping you out of it. He throws it over to the side, falling off the chair onto the floor.

His mouth immediately attached to your breast sucking on the nipple. You bring your hands down to his waist fumbling with the button as his thumb reattaches to your clit. A loud gasp leaves your lips having not recovered from your previous two orgasms. He chuckles mumbling something against your exposed flesh while you try to focus through the pleasure to push his pants down his thighs.

His mouth switches to the other breast; you bring your hands up to address his shirt. You lift a leg trying to push his pants down with your foot. Fred’s thumb presses harder into your clit causing a loud moan to leave your lips.

“Freddie” you whine unable to concentrate on stripping him. His head pops up “yeah babe?” he asks knowing exactly what you want.

“You need to stop so I can take your clothes off.”

He just smiles at you and pulls away resting on his knees. He undoes the final two buttons and pushes his dress shirt off his body; you see beads of sweat rolling down his chest. He pushes his pants and boxers of his legs his cock springing free. A light moan escapes your lips watching it slap against his stomach. It’s painfully hard, head glistening with precum your mouth waters thinking about wrapping your lips around it

“You can’t” he whispers following your gaze. A pout comes across your lips “just a little” you whine back.

He groans and falls onto his back shaking his head at you “just a taste” he responds bending an arm behind his head. “Thanks” you hum adjusting yourself between his legs.

You wrap your lips around the tip, and slowly take more and more into your mouth until he is hitting the back of your throat. You can hear Fred moaning, you look up at him through your lashes half expecting him to cum then and there from the sounds he is making. You swirl your tongue around him, running it up the vein on the underside, he attempts to grab your hair but is met by a mess of hairspray and pins.

You rise up leaving just the tip remaining in your mouth. You smirk up at him and bring your mouth down, your nose hitting his pelvis. His hips lift off the bed while you do this a few more times. Finally you feel him grip your hair and pull you off him, saliva dripping down your chin.

“I said a taste” he growls pushing you onto your back. You feel him poke at your entrance and slowly push into you. You take a sharp inhale feeling him stretch your walls from the limited sex you have had with him recently.

He continues to gently push in you, staring at you and watching your expression the entire time while you accommodate him. He goes slowly but with determination, gently thrusting back and forth as he works his way deeper inside you. Your hands find the back of his neck, gripping his chain pulling his forehead down to yours.

The pain slowly turns into pleasure while he continues his gentle but persistent pace. His forehead is glued to yours, his brown eyes never leaving yours. Each thrust going slightly deeper than the last, Fred biting his lower lip the entire time.

You can hear how wet you are every time he thrusts into you, finally he bottoms out. His pelvis connects with yours, the head of his cock pressing up against your cervix, just gently pushing it. He softly grunts feeling your warm walls holding him in; muttering under his breath. "So sexy …Fuck..Milking my cock".

Your legs wrap around his waist, a hand sliding down his neck to his bicep. Fred picks up the pace, your nails digging crescent shaped marks in his muscles. He moves your legs so they are against his shoulders, getting even deeper inside you. You turn into a writhing mess under him, your third orgasm swiftly building. Fred snaps his hips, fucking into you faster and faster.

Your hips arch off the bed, the room being filled with your loud moans. Fred smirks knowing exactly where you are thrusting faster as you cum for him. You clench around him holding him tightly inside you, walls fluttering around his cock.

And then, Fred groans, and you are met with his familiar warmth filling you up. He gives you a few more slow thrusts before releasing your legs and he practically melts on top of you. You lightly rake your hand over his sweaty back while he moans softly, your heart rates slowly returning to normal.

His soft moans turn into soft snores. He is fully on top of you, his dick still resting inside of your walls. If it wasn’t for the exhaustion you would have woken him up, but you know how much he needs the sleep so you allow your eyes to close using the man above you as a blanket.

You are the first to wake up in the morning, Fred now lying beside you on his back. At some point you both made your way under the sheets which are hanging low on his hips. You cautiously crawl out of bed, careful to not wake the sleeping man beside you.

You return from the bathroom a few minutes later having pulled out a bunch of the pins in your hair and notice the sheet had slipped down past his waist. His beautiful cock right there on display.

You consider waking him up in a way that has been appreciated in the past but decide to let him sleep a little longer. You walk around the bed lifting the sheet and crawling back in. Fred feels the bed shift and his eyes flutter open, you lying on your arm looking at him.

“Morning” he mumbles through a hoarse voice.

“Hey” you whisper brushing the hair from his forehead.

“What time is it?” he asks rolling onto his side to look at you. He smiles, his brown eyes opening completely to look at you. You reach for your phone but it’s off causing you to groan and rise up to look at the clock on the table beside him. “Fuck your beautiful” he says bringing his thumb to rub up and down your arm.

You go to smile until you see the time “fuck Fred it’s after 11.” You quickly throw the sheet off to get out of the bed but he easily grips you pulling you back down to the bed.

“Babe” you whine “checkout is 10.”

“Well that’s long gone” he laughs. You try to push him away but he firmly holds you to his chest. He chuckles at your meek attempt to free yourself “it’s not a big deal, we’ll just have to pay for another night.” Fred rolls on top of you, his entire weight pinning you below him.

“But Christie” you start. You only have her booked until 12, and you still have to pack and do the 30 min drive across the city.

“I scheduled her til 2” he mumbles lips attaching to your neck. Before you can process what he said or respond there is a knock on the door forcing him to pull away. He stands up and throws his dress shirt your way for you to cover up with while he quickly pulls his dress pants up his large thighs.

He waits for you to do some of the buttons and adjust the blankets around your waist then opens the door. You hear some muffled talking and some creaking and are met by a man wheeling in a table with breakfast. His eyes go wide seeing you in bed, Fred’s white dress shirt doing little to hide your perked nipples. His eyes linger a little causing your cheeks to heat up; when Fred clears his throat causing the man to excuse himself and leave the room.

“You planned this” you exclaim hearing the door shut.

“That guy couldn’t have been any more obvious” he ignores you walking over to pour you some coffee.

“Fred” you say grinning at him waiting for a response.

“Yes I obviously planned this. He pours some syrup over the french toast and brings a piece to your mouth. You open slightly the fork sliding between your lips. You moan, your mouth being filled with amazing flavours.

“When I booked the hotel I made it for three nights. I actually considered trying to get you stay, but I knew there was no way you would leave the boys for three nights.” You smile at him over your mug loving that he knows you that well. As much as you have enjoyed the 36 or so hours away you can’t wait to get back to your sons.

“That and I felt bad for Christie if we had of left her alone for two nights” he laughs biting a piece of bacon.

“I figured we both could use a day to sleep in” he says bringing more french toast to you. “So I ordered us a late breakfast.”

“And my phone” you respond knowing you had an alarm set, picking up a fork and dig in to the hash browns.

“You put it in my pocket and wandered off to the bar. I just turned it off” he shrugs while you laugh. He places a quick kiss on your cheek “have to admit it was a good plan.”

He quickly returns his attention to the breakfast shovelling in a few more bites. You laugh resting your head on his shoulder “yeah you’re pretty awesome” you respond setting your mug back on the table. You feel a pin digging into the side of your skull and pull away, walking to the mirror you pull out the few you had forgotten earlier.

You hear the clatter of cutlery on the table, and Fred wheels it a few feet out of the way. His arm grips around your waist pulling a squeal from your mouth “you look incredible in my shirt” he groans pulling you to the bed. His thumb grips your hip while he bends you over the foot of the bed, his pants quickly landing in a pile at his feet.

You press your hips back feeling his erection press into your ass. He pushes his shirt up exposing you to him, he brings a hand firmly to your ass. You groan feeling pain radiate in your cheek and wetness build in your core. His hard cock grazes your folds soaking up some of your juices before he slams in to you.

Unlike last night you aren’t given time to adjust. Your ass is immediately met by his stomach, him pressed fully inside of you while he begins a fast pace. Your fists clenched on the sheet, your pussy clenches around his cock. You moan loudly, screaming into the duvet and pushing yourself back onto him.

Wedding look:

Next Chapter

[bread-tab]

do you ever just wake up and have a day where you feel like a tiny diminished fraction of yourself? like a flower that has lost its petals? yeah...

i stayed up too late last night (though for a good reason, damn the time zones) and couldn't wake up today, i had to wake up long enough to call the dentist office and reschedule my appointment and then i went back to sleep, i woke up again for a little while and there was an earthquake but nothing seemed wrong after that and i went back to sleep, i woke up again and it was 9 pm and i had slept all day and didn't feel well-rested, but my family was still awake and i talked to them, so i'm not drowning in loneliness now, i just feel empty. i'm neglecting responsibilities and correspondence. i don't know whether to try to wake up more or try to go back to sleep and get up early instead; i took my meds and they made me feel smarter and less anxious but i think i'm still having some kind of depersonalization episode.

i feel a strong sense of unfulfillment, like i'm missing out on my own life. i feel ashamed and forgive myself in the same thought. i feel small and lost and i want to cry (i might cry) and also numb and insignificant and wise because i know this will pass; i will sleep again and speak to people and in a few hours or days i will feel better, whole, myself.

i suppose i will get up and do a few things. i'm tired of lying around in bed feeling sweaty and gross and weak. i feel too restless to sleep, but i'll need to try anyway before too long, i have work tomorrow. i'll tell my internet friends that i don't feel like myself. i can be honest about that. they'll probably understand.

i might stay up and push through this state of mind and the fatigue and not sleep until late tonight. that's not ideal, because i'll be tired at work (i'm always tired at work and i don't want that to be who i am) and exhausted afterward and it won't help with my sleep cycle. i'm not sure what will, at this point. i should see a doctor about that. i should tell my therapist to convince me to see a doctor about that.

none of my trains of thought can seem to reach a conclusion right now. i resent that. i like to be a decisive person. i like my ramblings and ponderings to have a point, to end on an up-note. to be constructive.

later, when i'm feeling real, i'll come back to this post. i will have some kind of perspective. for now i'll trust in that future self to understand me.

[edie-k]

The Art of Christmas Tree Selection

Title: The Art of Christmas Tree Selection

Rating: PG/PG-13 (just language)

Disclaimer: Not mine

Summary: On holiday at Hermione's house, Ron is faced with one the scariest prospects of his young life: a talk with Mr. Granger.

In the way back times, less than a year after the publication of Order of the Phoenix, I wrote my first Romione fic. This was it. In the spirt of Christmas, I thought I would share it. It is, AU after OOTP. Originally published on Checkmated, as I am 16 years older, I now made Ron’s conversation with Mr. Granger slightly less melodramatic to find a better balance. Enjoy!  

“Now wait Hermione, explain this again. How exactly do those people get into that box?” asked Ron, cocking his head at the television set in the corner.

“Honestly Ron, I’m not explaining it again!” Hermione huffed, placing her hands on her hips. The long strands of garland she had previously been winding around the banister of the staircase trailed from her fists to the floor.

“Aw, come on love. You enjoy being a know it all,” Ron replied, crossing the room and wrapping his arms around her waist from behind and pulled her back against him.

“Ron!” squealed Hermione, pulling away slightly and turning in his arms to place her hands on the back of his neck. It was all Ron could do to restrain himself from letting out a sigh of contentment. Luckily, his ego kept him from sounding too effeminate.

It was his last Christmas break before leaving Hogwarts and it was the first holiday that he would spend without Harry or his family. Hermione had wanted to spend Christmas with her mum and dad and she had managed to get Ron to agree to accompany her home.

If he was completely honest, Hermione had some rather brilliant ways of convincing him.

Hermione and he had finally managed to get their act together a couple of months into sixth year. All of their pent up emotions and tension spilled out in the middle of a row. “I always knew it would come out like that,” Ginny bragged. In all honesty, Ron couldn’t remember what the argument had been about but he never mentioned that because Hermione most likely did.

In the year and some months they had been together, life had proved to be rather trying. Then again, life as Harry Potter’s best friend was never easy. Having Hermione by his side through it all was the biggest blessing he could have received. Of course, Hermione had always been there with him but without the underlying tension, he found that much more comfort in her presence.

Harry was really supposed to be there with them. After Hermione had talked (well, not necessarily talked) Ron into going to her home for the holiday, she had immediately invited Harry, who much to their surprise, declined. He informed them that he had already accepted his mum’s invitation to join the Weasleys and told Ron and Hermione that he would see them when they arrived at the Burrow on Boxing Day to spend the rest of their holiday. “Besides,” said Harry after Hermione had retired to her room for the night. “Don’t you two want to spend some time alone?”

Yes. Yes he did. Another disadvantage of being Harry Potter’s best friend (besides the target on your back) was that Harry required an abundance of support and attention to keep him from slipping into a mood of eternal melancholy. Ron looked forward to any time that he could spend alone with Hermione. Of course, their alone time was not going to happen at her parents’ house.

Hermione’s parents. Oh Merlin, they made him nervous. There were times when Ron could barely convince himself that he deserved Hermione, how could he convince her parents?

Ron had seen snippets from letters that Hermione had received from home and he could tell that they thought she could do no wrong. He figured this had to do with the fact she was an only child. His own parents had never harbored such beliefs. They were overjoyed if their children could make it through the day without hurting themselves or one another.

Hermione’s parents were dentists. This was some sort of Muggle tooth doctor and according to Harry, dentists typically made a good deal of money. If their house was any indication, it was rather obvious. Harry also told him that to become a dentist, you had to go to university for a number of years. Therefore, the Grangers were just as brilliant as their genius daughter.

For the three days since their arrival at the Granger household, Ron stuck as close as possible to Hermione. This strategy had seemed to work for him so far. The first two days, the Grangers had worked during the day (which also equated to some proper alone time) and he only faced their scrutiny at dinner. With Hermione there to properly steer the conversation, Ron was able to participate and sound at least half way intelligent.

This morning, however, was the first day of the Grangers’ holiday from their office, and consequently, Mrs. Granger had scheduled a doctor’s appointment for Hermione. Hermione had protested fervently. “Honestly, I don’t need to see a cardiologist. Just because I had a slight murmur as a baby doesn’t mean there is a thing wrong with me now. Believe me, if it was anything life threatening I’m sure that I would already have had cardiovascular failure,” Hermione had vented to Ron. He had merely nodded and inquired as to the time of her appointment. The appointment was scheduled for 9:15 in the morning and Ron had managed to stay in bed until 11:00 when he heard the front door open. His mum would have him degnoming the garden for the rest of his life if she found out he behaved that way while a guest in someone’s home.

It was now the afternoon and they had finished lunch and begun to decorate the house for Christmas. Hermione had been wrapping the garland around the banister of the stairs of the entrance hall where Ron had been hanging garland to line the windows of the front door. The house was beginning to take on the aromas of Christmastime, which reminded him of his own mum’s baking.

“Ron? Ron?” said an amused voice. He shook his head, clearing it and looked down at a grinning Hermione. “Did you hear what I said?”

“Oh, uh, sorry. I got a bit lost in my own thoughts there.”

“I asked if you wanted to take two steps to the right,” she repeated. Ron glanced upward in the direction that she had indicated and grinned. With his arms still around her, he took two exaggerated steps until they were directly underneath a small sprig of mistletoe dangling from the ceiling. He raised his eyebrows twice and drew a giggle from Hermione, something only he could do. He leaned in for a sweet kiss.

“Hermione?” called a voice. Ron dropped his arms away from Hermione and quickly pushed her away.

“Yes Dad?” asked Hermione, rolling her eyes at Ron. Hermione had told him that she was positive her parents would not be offended if they were affectionate with each other in front of them but Ron could barely bring himself to hold her hand in the presence of her mum and dad.

“Mum was hoping that you would help her in the kitchen with the fudge. She seems to think that if you prepare it, Aunt Patricia won’t be so inclined to criticize it tomorrow.” Mr. Granger gave her a wink and she smiled.

“Sure, Dad,” she replied.

Ron was now completely unsure as to what he should do while Hermione assisted her mum. Before he had much chance to panic, Mr. Granger opened his mouth, uttering one of the scariest things Ron ever heard in his life.

“I was just about to leave to get our Christmas tree. I could use some help. Why don’t you join me, Ron?”

“Uh-um, yeah,” Ron stuttered out. “I mean, yes sir. I would be glad to help.”

“Wonderful! I’ll just round up my winter things,” Mr. Granger said, heading toward the back of the house and leaving Hermione and Ron alone in the front hall once again.

Ron turned to Hermione, his eyes wide open and filled with panic. Hermione rolled her eyes. “Ron, it’s just my dad. You have faced things much more terrifying than my father.”

“Well, what if I slip and say something that makes him hate me?” Ron asked, his voice filled with fear.

“As long as you two don’t discuss snogging habits, I think that you will do fine,” Hermione said with a smirk.

“Hermione!” Ron said, aghast. How could she even joke about this?

“Well, honestly Ron. What could you possibly do? Dad is already quite aware of the wizarding world. My parents know the basics of the war with Voldemort, so no surprises there. I’m sure you’ll be fine.” With that, she stood on her toes and gave him a kiss on the cheek before entering the kitchen to help her mother and leaving him absolutely alone in his own misery.

“Blimey,” Ron muttered to the empty room. “I’m screwed.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This whole excruciating mess had to be almost over. It seemed like hours since they had left the safety of Hermione acting as a buffer. Ron glanced out the car window and over his shoulder. Shit. He could still see the driveway. They had barely started.  

“Well Ron,” said Mr. Granger. “Judy and I are glad that you could join us for Christmas. I’m sure Hermione filled you in on our family.” Ron nodded. Both sets of Hermione’s grandparents knew that she was a witch but none of her aunts, uncles, or cousins were privy to that information. They thought she attended Huntington Preparatory School. So that meant that he would not only have to pretend to be a Muggle but a smart one as well. At least with Hermione’s parents he could respond with his real life.

“I plan on letting Hermione run the conversation,” Ron said nervously.

Mr. Granger smiled sympathetically. “Don’t worry Ron. We won’t let you die out there. I hope you won’t be too overwhelmed by all of the family tomorrow. They are a good group but they can get a bit rowdy as a party wears on.”

“If anyone understands a rowdy family, it’s me, sir,” Ron answered. Of course, when he was with his own family, he didn’t need to lie about his entire life and impress them enough so that they thought he was good enough for Hermione.

Mr. Granger chuckled. “I would imagine that you are well-versed in that. I’ve heard plenty of stories about the trouble that your twin brothers cause… What are their names again?”

“Fred and George,” supplied Ron. Ron had a feeling that Mr. Granger had not heard some of the more recent stories from Hermione’s visit this summer since most of those involved Ron and Hermione having tricks played on them while being caught in rather compromising situations.

“I know that Hermione has always enjoyed the time that she spends with your family. I imagine it’s nice for her to experience a big family first-hand. Judy and I are glad that she’s seeing a young man that comes from such a strong family background. I’m not sure how things are in the wizarding world but there has been a breakdown of families here in recent years and it’s nice to see that Hermione found someone who was raised with strong family values.”  

“My mum and dad tried their best,” Ron responded. He began to relax a bit. This wasn’t so bad. Mr. Granger was actually being quite flattering. And he had managed to answer mostly in complete sentences.

“Judy and I do like you, Ron,” Mr. Granger continued. “But Hermione is our only child. As her father, it’s my obligation to ask you what your exact feelings toward her are.”

How much would it hurt to jump from a moving car? They were traveling on side streets so they couldn’t be going that fast. As long as he tucked his head…

“Ron?” prompted Mr. Granger again.

“I’m sorry sir,” squeaked Ron in a voice that had not made an appearance since early puberty. He cleared his throat. “Could you repeat that?”

“I’m sorry to take you by surprise. Take a moment to collect your thoughts,” Mr. Granger said.

What Ron really wanted to do was slap himself in the forehead. Why had he left his wand back at the house? Not only was it stupid with all the danger they faced but if he had it, he could Apparate the hell out of there. No. No, he had to stay. And not just because he did not have his wand. He had to stay because he loved Hermione. All he had to do was explain to her father why.

“Uh, well sir, I love your daughter very much. She’s been my friend forever. And I reckon that even with a family as large as mine, she’s the one person in the world that I never have to doubt. She always believes in me and supports me. And even when we argue, I never have to wonder if she really loves me or not because I already know the answer. And I want to be that person for her as well. She means everything to me,” Ron said. Wow, that was pretty articulate!

Hermione was really rubbing off on him because now he was thinking words like articulate. And earlier this afternoon, he was pretty sure he had thought the word melancholy. What was happening to him?

Mr. Granger cleared his throat. “That’s very good to hear Ron. A little hard for a father to hear but it’s a very nice thought.”

“I uh- I mean every word of it,” Ron said, trying to sound confident. He was confident in how he felt about Hermione but less certain about expressing it to her father.

“I’m sure that you do. So now I have to know-what are your intentions toward my daughter?”

According to Bill, Charlie, and Fred, who all had fiancées or steady girlfriends, those were the scariest seven words in the English language. He had laughed at the time. What could be so horrible about saying that his plan was to marry Hermione (when they were much older, of course)? Now that he was actually expected to say it to her father he felt closer to his older brothers than ever before. He prayed that he could channel one of them as he answered the question. Preferably not Fred.

“Um, well, uh, sir, I guess my plan is that when we are older-uh, much older- I would like to spend- that is I want to.” Gryffindor, Gryffindor! “I’m planning to be with her for as long as she’ll have me.”

Mr. Granger turned to regard him as Ron stared determinedly out the windshield. “Do you know what Hermione’s plans are for the future?”

Ron was a little surprised by this. He had expected the next question to be about his own future and career. “I don’t think she has quite made up her mind as to what occupation she wants to pursue. I suppose it doesn’t matter. I’m sure she’ll succeed no matter what she does. I just hope that she plans to take me along for the ride.”

The answer seemed to satisfy Mr. Granger. “We know our daughter is intelligent Ron.”

“I wouldn’t have made it this far without her,” Ron said. He immediately reddened at his sudden interruption. “Um, sorry sir.”

“That’s okay. I’m glad to see you think so highly of her. We want her to reach her full potential and we want to see her with someone who will be supportive of that.”

“Yes, of course sir. I sincerely doubt that I could stop her even if I really wanted to.”

Mr. Granger laughed. “She said you had a sense of humor. Although we haven’t seen much of it this holiday.”  

“Well, I reckon I have been a bit nervous,” Ron admitted. He remembered Charlie had said that his girlfriend’s father had liked it when he had shown fear.

“I remember the first time I was alone with Judy’s father,” Mr. Granger said. “I was helping him fix a few shingles on his roof and when he asked me how I felt about Judy, I contemplated jumping off the roof.”

Ron laughed uncomfortably. Was he a mind reader?

Mr. Granger cleared his throat and a rather serious look crossed his face. “This might sound a bit hypocritical after I made such a point of Hermione’s independence but as her father….” Mr. Granger stopped and he looked as uncomfortable as Ron did for a moment.

The car was on a busier road and now traveling at a faster speed but if Mr. Granger asked Ron a question about their physical relationship… gravity be damned, he was jumping.

Ron debated on whether he should prompt Mr. Granger to continue because he wasn’t quite sure he wanted to hear it, when Mr. Granger continued his previous thought.

“I know there is danger in your world. I don’t know the extent of it but I think that it is worse than Hermione leads us to believe.” Mr. Granger glanced at Ron who continued to sit in silence. He did not want to incriminate Hermione because he knew that she had not told her parents the whole truth but his silence seemed to affirm Mr. Granger’s opinion.

“And I know that Hermione is in more danger than most.” Harry Potter’s Muggle-born best friend? She was probably third on Voldemort’s hit list, behind Harry and Dumbledore.

“So I just want to make sure that, well, that...” Mr. Granger was struggling for the words but Ron could see where he was going. And Ron knew exactly how to answer this question.

“Mr. Granger, I promise you that I will protect your daughter. I will keep her safe until the day I die. I would do anything to keep her safe. Anything.” Wow, that was good. He sounded pretty manly.

“Thank you Ron. That’s what I wanted to hear,” Mr. Granger said.

Ron felt the need to fill the silence so he followed up with “I mean it, sir.” He mentally slapped himself. Way to contribute a worthwhile comment, Weasley.  

Mr. Granger looked at him and smiled. For the first time the whole ride, Ron turned to meet his eyes and smiled back.  

The car coasted into a lot filled with pine trees already cut and prepared to be sold. Mr. Granger put the car into park and Ron opened his door and slid out.  

“One more thing Ron,” said Mr. Granger as they walked toward the tree lot.

“Yes?” Ron asked, meeting his eyes again. Hermione was right. Her dad wasn’t so bad.

“When you’re with my daughter, keep your hands where I can see them.”

[equisetumspn]

The Importance of Flossing

The first time that Dean noticed it was when he handed Cas a beer in the bunker’s kitchen when they just had come back from a hunt. Cas didn’t do as he usually did, immediately tipping the bottle back and taking a long pull. That meant that Dean wasn’t able to indulge in one of his favorite hobbies, staring at Cas’ long neck while he was busy drinking. He’d always appreciated a good-looking neck, and Cas’ really was something else. So he had a bit of a neck kink? Sue him, there wasn’t anything wrong with that. You know, apart from the awkwardness that came when you constantly ogled your friend. Your very, very good looking, now human friend.

“Cas, you okay there, buddy? If you don’t want the beer I can take the bottle to Sammy instead.”

“No. Thank you, Dean. I assure you that I am quite well” he said and took a small sip of his beer. Dean felt a bit robbed of his neck staring opportunity, but then he saw Cas flinch at the coldness of the beverage.

 Dean didn’t really think more about Cas’ reaction until a few days later when he passed him a steaming cup of coffee at breakfast. Cas recoiled again. Then Dean saw it happen over and over again in the days that followed. Cas hissed when he drank his tea. Cas turned down an offer of getting ice cream, and he never said no to ice cream. Cas almost screamed when Sam gave him some Sour Patch Kids. 

At dinner the same night Sam had given him the candy, Dean realized that Cas seemed to only chew his food using only the left side of his mouth.

When they had finished eating and Dean had cleaned up in the kitchen, he went to Cas’ room and knocked on his door.

“Come in” came the deep response. Dean opened the door and stepped inside. Cas sat on his bed, a book in his hand.

“Hey, Cas. Just wanted to ask you something.”

“Of course, Dean.” 

Dean walked up to the bed and perched on the edge of it, near Cas’ feet.

“So, uh, you seem to have been in a bit of pain lately.” Cas squinted at him.

“You don’t have to deny it. I’ve... I’ve seen you eat and drink these past few days.” Dean tried to will his blushing away, now was really not the time to think about Cas’ neck again.

“Ah yes. My mouth has been oddly painful recently.”

“Yeah, about that. I have an idea why that might be. Remember when you fell, and we talked about the importance of dental hygiene? I taught you how to brush your teeth.” Cas nodded. Dean continued. “Well, did we ever get to why flossing is good for you?”

Cas tilted his head, looking more confused than Dean had seen him in a long time. “Flossing? Like the dance? What does that have to do with my teeth?” 

Dean barked out a laugh. “What? No dumbass, not like the dance. How do you even know about that?”

“One of Claire’s friends showed me. It’s actually rather fun when you understand how to do it.”

“Man, what I wouldn’t have paid to see that” Dean muttered to himself, shaking his head, still smiling down at the floor. “No, this kind of flossing is when you pull a piece of string between your teeth to remove the gunk that gathers between them because the toothbrush can’t reach everywhere. You see, you gotta do that every day now that you can’t mojo yourself all clean and spiffy anymore”

 Dean took Cas to the bathroom and demonstrated. Cas grimaced and the floss came away bloody. Dean winced. “I think you probably have a cavity or two. Or at least some gingivitis. I’ll call the dentist tomorrow.”

 The following morning Dean called the dentist and luckily, they got an appointment the same afternoon. After lunch Dean drove them into town in the Impala. They stepped into the dentist’s office and walked up to the receptionist. Dean tried to give her a winning smile.

“Hi. We got an appointment now at two-thirty. Cas, uh, Castiel Winchester.”

“Certainly. I’ll just let them know that you are here” She hurried away and returned with a nurse.

“Castiel? Nice to meet you. If you’d come with me this way, please.”

Cas turned to Dean, looking worried. “You’ll be fine, Cas. I’ll just wait here then, I’ll see you when you’re done.” 

They disappeared.

 Dean had hardly had time to sit down in an armchair and pick up an old car magazine to flick through while he waited before the nurse came running back into the waiting room.

“Mr. Winchester! You need to speak to your husband!” She turned and ran back the way she had come.

Dean felt himself go red. His husband? He hadn’t really thought about the implications when he had booked the appointment and stated that it was for Castiel Winchester, but it wasn’t like Cas had a last name, so giving his own had seemed like the only option. Shaking himself out of his stupor, he got up and followed the nurse. 

When Dean got to the room, Cas and the dentist stood on different sides of it, glaring at each other. The dentist was clutching at her hand.

“Dean. This woman is dangerous! She has weapons and she tried to use them on me.”

“He bit me!”

Dean blinked a couple of times, trying to process the strange situation. “Sorry about that. I’ll talk to him” he said to the dentist. He turned to Cas and lowered his voice “Cas, come on, man. We talked about this, about what happens at the dentist’s.”

Cas stared grumpily at him. “I don’t like it.”

“No one likes it. Will you be all right if I stay here with you?”

Cas nodded. 

“Is that okay?” he asked the nurse. She nodded and brought him a stool so that he could sit next to the patient’s chair. 

“Cas, come on, angel, get back in the chair.” Cas climbed back, while the dentist put a bandaid on her hand. When she turned around, Dean thought that Cas looked so small and frightened in that big chair that he acted on instinct, taking Cas’ slightly clammy hand in his own.

 Half an hour later, they walked back into the waiting room, still hand in hand. The dentist had removed one of Cas’ teeth, fixed cavities in two others, and then thoroughly cleaned his teeth. Cas had gotten a new appointment in a couple of weeks to get a replacement tooth put in. Dean was really glad that he had brought several of their old fraudulent credit cards. This was going to be expensive, it wasn’t like you could get health insurance as a hunter.

When he handed one of the cards over to the receptionist to pay for the visit, Cas still clung to him, staring at him. He did seem to be a little out of it. Maybe the pain killers the dentist had given him before the extraction had hit him harder than Dean thought?

“Dean, how are you so pretty? You have so many freckles! I’m going to count them now!”

Right. Cas wasn’t just a little out of it, he was a lot out of it. Dean flushed and the receptionist giggled as she handed him the receipt. 

“Okay, let’s get you home, you weirdo.”

They turned to the elevator, the receptionist was still giggling, and Cas was still trying to count Dean’s freckles. Dean sighed. He was just happy that Sam wasn’t there, he would have laughed himself to an aneurysm by now. Cas had lost track of his counting while walking and was now pouting. Dean placed a hand on the small of his back and steered him into the elevator, he refused to look at Cas.

When they stepped out onto the street, Dean realized that Cas had been strangely quiet for someone who was trying to count someone else’s freckles. He looked at Cas who made some very weird facial expressions, it looked almost like he was trying to lick his own teeth.

“Cas? What are you doing?”

“Dean. Dean, my teeth. They are so smooth! Sooo smooth. You should feel them!”

And before he could realize what was happening, Cas threw himself at Dean, pressing his lips against Dean’s. He had rarely felt so shocked in his life, this was very far from all the scenarios he had dreamed about when thinking about kissing Cas for the first time. While his body didn’t want anything other than to respond to Cas’ soft lips, there was still a part of his brain that knew that this was wrong right now. It felt like he’d never done anything so difficult as to pull away from Cas’ persistent kiss.

“Whoa! Whoa there! While I absolutely love what’s happening here, I’m not gonna kiss you when you’re this loopy. Let’s do it for real instead when you’re back to being your sane self again. Okay?” He looked down at Cas and added “or as sane as you usually are anyway.”

He finally managed to get them both into the Impala. The ride home was silent. 

 When they at last pulled into the bunker’s garage, Dean parked and got out of the car. He walked around to the passenger’s seat and opened the door, waiting for Cas to step out. Cas did so and then he stood very still looking down at the floor, opening and closing his mouth a few times.

“Thank you for coming with me, Dean. I appreciate it.”

“Of course, Cas. Are you back to being yourself now?”

Cas nodded. “Yes. I believe so.”

“Good.” He stepped into Cas’ space and pulled him flush against himself. He pushed Cas against the side of the Impala and kissed him. Their lips moved against each other, and when their mouths opened, Dean couldn’t help but laugh into the kiss. Cas had been right.  

His teeth were really smooth.

[pbandjesse]

Today was not what I had planned. I woke up a 8 to a text from the dentist reminding me about my appointment. That I didnt realize was today. I thought it was thursday. So I am very glad I got up! I had about an hour until I needed to leave though. I had plenty of time to get washed and dressed. James wold soon leave for work and I would get all cute. 

I didnt have high hopes for the dentist. But it ended up being fine. I parked in the parking garage. Forgot the ticket in the car, would go back for it later. And I didnt get lost finding the office this time. 

I did not see the main dentist, I saw an associate. But I loved her. She was so sweet. And while she understood why I wanted the tooth removed, she thinks its salvageable and that insurance should cover it. I got all the xrays and now that I have this insurance I was like. Okay. Im willing to get this fixed, with the caveat that if they get in there and the took is broken (which is what I think), they will pull it. So I felt like things were good. The woman at the desk even called the other office to make me an appointment so I wouldnt have to call and it was so kind. 

I left there in a good mood. I went back to the car to grab that parking ticket, and then went to the fancy grocery store. I got some stuff thats hard to get at the regular stores. And just had a nice time looking around. 

I headed home after that. High spirits. But almost as soon as I got home I get a call from the dentist that they called the insurance and they wont cover anything. At all. Because I hadnt had the insurance for a year?? I have never heard of this before. Like the whole reason I got this plan was because it covered so much of the root canal procedure. And so I started crying. And they the woman tells me that the first of the three appointments I have would cost $1500. So I was just like. I guess. Cancel it. She apologized but I was just like. I did the thing I was supposed to do. I got the insurance. I pay it on time. But I just felt so stupid.

So I was a bit hysterical and I called the insurance with the plan to yell and then cancel the insurance. But once I got through the robot voices I was mostly just very very sad. I knew the person on the phone wasnt at fault. So thats what I said. I was just like. Hey, Im going to start sobbing in a second, I am not mad at you, I know you just work there, but I dont know what to do. I did the thing I was supposed to do but I cant get the help I need now. And she was so kind and right away put in a request to override the year waiting period.  So I have to wait until wednesday to find out if that is approved. But it was a little bit of hope I guess? I called back the dentist and explained what happened and she said to call her back when I get word and that the dentist will see what can be done on their end too. 

Its wild though. Why is that a thing?? I would have gotten the cheaper plan if I knew I wouldnt be able to use any of the coverage for a year?? Like I get its probably my fault but I have never heard of anything like that before. It wasnt even like I hadnt met a minimum for the year, they were just like oh you literally do not have any coverage on procedures until next January. Because you havent had the insurance before. If I knew that I wouldnt have waited for the open market. I would have just. Gotten a plan before that. Its such a shit show. 

It took a while for me to calm down. I was just so drained and upset. 

But I didnt want to lose the whole day. 

James would go out for a long bike ride soon after that. They waited until I was alright before they left. I needed to be alone for a bit though. 

So I cleaned a little. I hung a tapestry. I cleaned the fish tank. I thought about what I will pack for camp. I had snacks. I played video games. I finished making the bed. I changed all the sheets and the took off the velvet duvet cover. I also refolded and sorted out the winter coats and sweaters I shoved under the bed. They are all folded and nice now. 

James would get home before 230. I was laying in bed but once they were washed and dressed again we headed out into the world. 

We walked to the art store. And I got all the new paint I wanted. I got the highlighter colors and a few secondaries I thought would be hard to mix. I am very happy with the colors I got. I may go back to buy some medium. But I am very pleased. 

And it was so nice going out with James. The weather was warm. And It was just a lovely day to be out. We stopped to take pictures with the knock out roses. And I was just really happy. 

Not to long after we got home James got to work making us dinner. And I laid down for a bit. But I never actually slept. Thats alright. I did a little work stuff but tomorrow I will really get into that. 

After dinner I got to work on the painted stool project. I was going to do sprinkles but I decided to do Matiesse inspired shapes instead. I am pretty happy with them!! The highligher/neon colors are a little thin, so I will have to do more layers to cover the sharpie I drew first. I wouldnt have used the sharpies if I knew it would do that. Live and learn. But so far so good. One or two more layers of paint and then I will outline and add texture details using paint markers. But I am very pleased with the project. Next will be the little heart shelf. 

I have been hanging out in bed with sweetP since then. I am very tired. But I am going to go rinse off and put on soft clothes. Tomorrow I am going to do work and art and try to make myself work on store stuff. Because I have been so bad about that. But I have the pictures so I will get it done. 

I hope you all sleep well. Take care of eachother. Goodnight!

[vonnyphant]

No chemo, again

Tomorrow was going to be 12/12, but after my bloodwork was already borderline bad last week, they hit the brakes again today -.- I kind of expected it, as the nosebleeds have gotten increasingly bad... from 1-2 a day when I blew my nose to 10+ times randomly just by breathing, and having nightly nosebleeds that wake me up...it's not good, y'all. It makes me lightheaded and headachy and pissed off at my body for wasting platelets I need!

It bothers me- I want this part of the treatment behind me so the next can start. Not just because I am eager to get it all done, but also because I need to know what the second chemo will be like. All I know so far is that it's "worse". But how much worse? Are we talking further fatigue, nausea, or being bedridden, or being hospitalised? WHAT.

Anything that delays the second treatment makes it worse in my head. It also makes daily life harder to plan. How can I plan a child's birthday party, my 15th wedding anniversary- or even a bloody dentist appointment two weeks ahead, if I don't even know if I'll be able to get up out of bed that day? Not knowing is driving me mad. I have a psychology appointment but it's 3 weeks from now- until then I have to live with it in my head on my own.

On the positive side: I can still have my "post 12 remission" check-up on Friday (cancelling that appointment would delay everything even more). I hope it will be extensive, with radiology and another mammogram, and not just a talk- but I assume it will be, as they need data for Chemo 2. I am trying to be positive (there are no indications not to be) but in my darkest hours at night I am imagining the scans will show metastasis. Two more days before I know.

I will also get my 2nd covid vaccin on Monday, and our state has decided this means I will get more freedom to move around, and my parents may be allowed to visit me soon. I haven't seen them in almost a year and it's been hard on them being in another country since the diagnosis.

For now, I will have to brave on, and try to see this week's break as a 'chemo holiday'- it means I will be able to drink some alcohol on the weekend, and coffee, glorious delicious coffee. Hopefully less nosebleeds too... -.- TBC on Friday...