#i need to draw a version of this as geckos

[gonetoforks]

Introducing; my version of Rise’s Venus de Milo! (OUTDATED; adding the canon design for BM’s assistant!)

(she/her/thon/thons) She’s about 9 ft tall since she’s equally based off of Frankenstein, IDW Venus and the OG Venus de Milo. more info about her and her life under the cut! (Like, a lot more info, she’s been living in my head since last April) (She’s a year old and I’m only now revealing her info!) (HBD Venus!!)

Her Family in the Hidden City

Big Mama had her made by a scientist/patron of hers during the first 2 seasons as a synthetic competitor for her Battle Nexus, but after her change of heart in the S2 finale, she took thon in as her heiress and daughter to try and do something right for a change. It’s very hard for her. Her parenting style is a good balance of gentle and stern but she thinks praise is a good replacement for emotional vulnerability and it’s turned Venus into quite a megalomaniac. Venus just calls her “Mama” and BM calls her “Veedee” (If she calls thon “Venus,” thon’s in deep shit)

Time wise, after the movie she’s physically at age 1.5, 2 years old, though mentally thon’s about where Leo and Donnie are, 16. (Still very young, please keep in mind she is a child and has big eyes like the teenagers in the show, she’s just tall. If you sexualize her I will send you to the shadow realm. BEHAVE.)

Venus also sees the doctor that made her, Dr Shelly, as her father, and they’re quite close. She spent the first few weeks of her life in his home, mostly in his library where she filled her head with everything most people know intuitively. She often can recite information she has no memory of learning, these first few weeks were less like learning and more like remembering information but from no memories.

Venus’s closest friend & surrogate older sister is Jennika, who works as Big Mama’s assistant (and a fine artist!) under the codename “Frida.” The 2 spend most of their days on diplomatic missions in the Hidden City mafia underworld and managing/restructuring the Battle Nexus to be more ethical. Venus is a naturally studious academic who loves philosophy, literature, and of course, renaissance art, so adults tend to think she’s mature, but only Jennika really knows how naive she can be. Jennika misses her human family, so they’ve really latched onto each other.

She picked her name out herself. When thon was first revived, Shelly rushed up to her and almost addressed her with a name starting with V but stopped himself before he could say it in full. Changed his mind and said that he supposed that name probably wouldn’t fit right now. So she had a preference for a V name.

Thon’s Physiology

It’s quite the mystery how he did it, but the secret to Venus’s sentience is a machine that manages to convert any matter she digests into energy in the form of empyrean. This is why she was mostly kept a rapunzel-like secret for the first few months of her life before she had Jennika as a bodyguard. Nobody knows about her heart except herself, Jennika, Shelly and Big Mama.

If she bleeds or cries, it glows bright green, so she hates both because thon feels like she’s drawing attention to herself. She’s insecure about most of her organic parts anyway and pushes herself to appear stoney, inorganic and perfect. (The consequences of idolizing and wanting to emulate a literal goddess statue, skill issue) It’s not like her fears are completely unfounded though, she has no idea where Shelly got her dead body parts.

If she’s too stressed, the seams on her upper arms bleed and they fall off like a gecko tail. She kinda looks like the og Venus do Milo statue when that happens, it’s a bit gruesome.

To represent her need to balance the organic/inorganic parts of herself, thon’s biggest dreams vs realistic expectations for herself, her right hand is organic (and based off the 2012 turtles) while her left is robotic. (& made to look like big mama’s claws in her spider form)

Goals & wants

She wants to overthrow the council of heads and rule the Hidden City as president. (Through a democracy of course!) She sees them as ineffective and useless, she went to them during the Kraang invasion to tell them something needed to be done about the alien invaders but they did nothing and said to let the turtles handle it. She’s grateful everything turned out well but she still has a grudge against them and the way they run things. Big Mama thinks she’s silly and Jennika thinks she’s a mentally unwell, workaholic, megalomaniac but pizza supreme as her witness, thon’s gonna do it.

Thon wants to be a good, ethical leader/politician (oxymoronic, I know lmao) and sees the increasing amount of Battle Nexus estate Big Mama entrusts her with as practice for managing yokai society. She would love “the Good Place.”

She also wants to know more about Jennika and for her to reconcile with her father.

Venus’s arc

“Your life is your own, ok?!” She struggles with dehumanizing (de-turtle-izing?) herself because she believes it makes her greater, more fit to achieve her goals. When the fact that she’s a mortal, breathing, living being, that can’t possibly be anywhere near divine like thon thinks she needs to be hits her, she spirals. Thon desperately needs to learn that being imperfect is a necessary gift, that she is “the protagonist of her own life” and that you don’t need to be a great person to do great things, you just need to be a person.

She’s very studious and seen as intelligent and mature for her age, but when she’s put in real life situations after meeting her cousins, the turtles, she has to learn to to manage imperfections and embrace them.

She’s quite based off of MP100 and Barbie haha.

For this internal conflict I was inspired by how the original character’s depiction back in the 80’s was really,, dehumanizing? if that’s the right word? Misogynistic very much too. I find the message that; “no matter what other people think of you or what you think of yourself, you will never be anything more or less than a regular being” both comforting in itself and a neat subversion of the original VdM since one of my favorite aspects of Rise’s writing is how subversive it is.

I can’t wait to show you more of her! Esp how she interacts with the Mad Dogs!

Bonus; Design Details!

All the turtles have shape motifs; square, rectangle, circle, triangle, her’s is a Raindrop shape! Combined with her electric motifs she’s a bit of a storm cloud lol

The Turtles’s shells are s-shaped and follow the curvature of a human spine, I draw Venus’s shell really distorted and disproportionate to this since she’s inorganic.

Similarly, while the other turtles shells and plastrons are like boxes that contain their whole torsos, thon’s kinda just sits on top of her torso, where her plastron ends and her legs begin don’t line up. It started out as an anatomical error but i liked how it made her look distorted and off somehow. (Kinda gruesome, but it kinda helps her look like a bloated corpse, which is what she is aksjks) To be clearer, the difference between how the mad dogs’ shells/plastrons/bridges(sides) are attached to their bodies vs Venus’s is like the difference between a bodysuit and a t-shirt.

[silverhart-makes-art]

This week's Bestiary Posting is a collection of worms! I opted to interpret 'worms' as wyrms (aka weird little dragons with six limbs), because drawing a bunch of legless, eyeless, boneless cylinders did not appeal to me. Sorry worms, I love ya, but there's not a lot I can do with a worm in a quick sketch like this. So we're going with dragons, some of which are at least a little wormy.

Labeled version and more detailed explanations below.

Lenggalgak - a "worm of the air" needed wings to fly through it. It also has four thin appendages for spinning it's web. Seems odd that an animal that makes a web, and thus stays in one place would need to fly, but maybe they use their wings like spiderlings use silk parachutes to float to new homes, and the sedentary adults just use their wings for display.

Khrezaroth - this was meant to be a frog/salamander type thing, and ended up looking nothing like those animals. Still, I like his silly face, and even curled up he has way too many legs (but it's still six - we've got a very specific body plan here).

Phlerotger - Mix between a leech, a tadpole and a cookie cutter shark. It's lost it's limbs and just has little spurs like you see in some snakes. One of the few actually worm-shaped worms here, since it apparently needs to slide down the throat. Absolutely horrible little creature.

Logkashgae - was thinking what could possibly make a bow shaped wound, and decided a thagomizer might do the trick. So horned lizard-stegosaur with a scorpion stance. It's middle limbs have evolved into spikes.

Burlebroth - the description said it was a leaf worm, therefor it must look like a leaf. A leaf-tailed gecko meets a katydid with a bit of chameleon for color.

Kholruntae - since it's said to curl up in leaves my mind went to the Honduran white bats who are very tiny and roost in leaves. Worth looking up some pictures if you want a smile - they're adorable. Basically drew that, but with scales that make it look like a leaf and a long tail.

Shmigwanog - it's a "wood worm", a little stick dragon with the head of a potoo. It's folded wings look like little branches, to help it camouflage even more amid the branches.

Feabladtae - okay, this one is inspired by something I heard from a vet many years ago, about how you can tear a Labrador's ear off and they'd still be wagging their tail. Said in reference to my own Labrador who was quite happily wagging her tail while being treated for an insect bite/sting that had her face swelling to three times it's size. She always loved the vet, no matter how painful the pokes and prods. So in honor of her can't-get-me-down attitude, I've drawn a lab lending their ear to their good Feabladtae friend. As a parasite it doesn't really need it's limbs, so it only has two stubby front limbs, and instead uses it's tail which is covered in little prickles to hold onto it's host's fur.

[obsessed-small-penguin]

Mutant Mayhem Was Good!

[Spoilers Ahead] So I just watched Mutant Mayhem and I have 5 things to say and point out. All I gotta say is...

1. MONA LISA?!

Okay, no one can tell me that don't look like Mona Lisa on that locker 😳

Like it's the same position and everything!! If MM became a series (I forgot if I heard anything about this ngl-), then I hope we see her! Even if she turns out to be a human! She was a human in 1987 before she got mutated anyways. Also, Idk if that picture above (with the sunglasses) is another art piece, but what if that's Mona Lisa? 👀 She looks like a cool girl like one of those popular girls in school.

2. I wholeheartedly blame MM...

for making me lowkey enjoy Leonardo x April or Aprilnardo... is that what it's called? Like the turtles act like such teenagers that the crush is quite wholesome ^ ^' I still cringed because omg, this is exactly how 2012 Donnie fell for April (at first sight) 😭 At least this time the crush isn't aggressively shoved down our throats (and obsessive/stalkerish)! MM's portrayal of a teenage crush is what the 2012 creators should've done! Innocent and quite wholesome 😊

3. Showed up to school looking like THIS

If Leo wasn't a turtle and went to school like that, I think he'd be bullied 💀 Like why he dressed up like Jake From StateFarm? 😂 Full on about to tell me how much I can save on car insurance 😂 Seriously... if Rise Leo- no no, if ANY Leo could see him right now 😭

I can't draw whatsoever, but I hope to see someone create the other Leos reacting to MM Leo's outfit OR A Jake from StateFarm meme with MM Leo. Because these would be amazing 😂

4. Leo Need Some Back Bone

Mans is over here being bullied about how his split-up name would be Leo Nardo and he didn't 👏 clap 👏 back. I'm only saying this because Raph Ael is way worse and no one noticed 😂 But I appreciate Leo's character in this movie. It is exactly how I would write him in every version; especially in 2012 (except Rise, that Leo is better at hiding anxiety).

I just realized that Donnie ain't much safe either. Tello would be a good last name, but that would mean his name would be Dona 💀 Unless he just sticks to Don Atello which is what he'd probably do x).

5. I wonder...

how would this universe's Casey look? 🤔

isn't Mondo Gecko a teenager? Why isn't he in school?

why is Leatherhead a female? And why she got an accent? If she was mutated in New York then how did she get an Australian accent?

and does the ooooooooze affect only animals? Because Idk if they said anything about it, but I assumed so (and would make sense why they had Splinter origin be a rat).

[wind-sage-serin]

If you aren’t interested in the baneful magic thing I’ve been doing to friggin move on with my life and let go, you should probably just keep scrolling. But if you’re interested, below this cut is my experience so far.

This spell work is entirely for the sake of ensuring that someone never ever comes into contact with me again by absolutely tearing the person several new ones.

After I placed red pepper and my nails into the curse box everything went nuts. I got called the next day by his wife as she assumed he was in an affair with me. I was not. I learned of a lot more disgusting actions he supposedly has taken so that’s also why I’m doing this— I’m no longer his only victim. For the sake of her privacy I won’t be discussing the gritty details of her side of things (not my place), but suffice it to say it’s enough that it drew blood.

Before you say “why would you put something that’s a part of your body in there??”— I don’t consider my nails a part of my body, not after I cut them, they end up in the trash otherwise. I have dissociated what was a “part of me” and thrown it away. Additionally, it’s more the hair that is associated with a witch’s magical power, and the nails are more negatively associated.

In Japanese tradition you’re not supposed to leave them in open spaces as spirits and witches will take and use them for evil. In a few Jewish traditions they’re meant to be disposed of ritually and kept short, especially during grieving periods. Nails, unlike hair, have less personal power attached to them as hair does.

Symbolically, I am giving the person the box was meant for the part of himself that he grafted onto me— the part he convinced me was “me” but was little more than an emulation of himself. By putting the nails in the box, I’m permitting the mirror he tried to construct within me the permission it needs to wreck his shit.

My nails are also really sharp when long, so putting them in the box is the grafted personality directly attacking. Animals use their claws, after all, to fight for their right to live. And I’ve earned it.

So no, I don’t think nails and hair work the same for baneful magic at all. Nails are attacking, hair is defensive. You’d be much better suited to use your own hair in a spell for loving yourself.

Another tip for that: if you don’t want to use your nails, get black nail polish that’s good at peeling off easily, get it in black for drawing out the negative energy, and when you feel it’s time, peel it off and use it instead of nails.

Now that it’s all sealed up, it’s time I tell you all the things that went into it:

1. A ceramic disc with a rare element in it (the cursed object that best encapsulates it all and the epicenter of attachment)

2. A thorn from a bush (the bitter side of sweet, it’s also a huge 2" thorn too, represents the knife stuck in my back)

3. Rose thorns from the decaying part of the bush (cursed with a decaying love)

4. A few rusty nails (items the fae wanted me to put in there, guess they’ll be getting in on the action)

5. A perfect “glove” of my pet gecko’s shed skin (to never feel comfortable in one’s skin again)

6. Every hematite ring I’ve ever broken (4-5 rings total, all the energy left over the years of agony will haunt the person)

7. Clipped fingernails (constant scratches and attacks from the fake personality he made up to harm me)

8. Red chili flakes (to make him stop talking about me)

9. A ticket to the 2018 Slender Man movie i saw with him (to invoke paranoia)

10. Crushed selenite/ “stardust” (simulates the Ash Phoenix Isthangr’s Cremated Remains, which are Ganim’s version of Hell)

11. A clipped feather dropped in our front yard from a small wild bird (I clip the upper plumulaceous portion and save it to burn so it can never be reunited with the lower plume and calamus, which are shoved into the box through a narrow crevice, represents “clipping one’s wings” to keep them from taking off)

12. Beeswax (seals the box closed pretty well, couldn’t brute force it if I tried, represents the Six sealing in the evil)

13. Teal candle wax (the least favorite color, used to add insult to injury)

14. Dolomite on Pyrite (standard “gift rock” he often gave when he didn’t have a gift, using that “gift” as an anchor that represents a stone-cold heart)

15. Black jute cord holding rock to box (binding the anchor to the box, ensnaring him in his final fate)

16. Black candle wax dropped all over rock (to blot out any positive associations with the rock and to completely seal the curse in place)

Since I’m going up to Wisconsin for vacation, the next step is (logically) to release it. I intend on ritually dropping it into the water. Though it isn’t anywhere near as many shipwrecks compared to Superior, Lake Michigan still is (in some places) a shipwreck graveyard. The final step, allowing the stone to drag the box into the deep, will have the intended effect of amplifying his greatest fears. He’s terrified of heights and that extends to not being able to touch the bottom when swimming, and he’s terrified of death, which the box will forever be surrounded by.

Am I a monster for going to this length? Perhaps. But after what I have gone through and what his wife is allegedly going through in this moment, I can’t stand for it any longer. Once I get back from vacation, I’ll be following up with a return-to-sender for the remaining malice (found through an egg cleanse) as well as a cord-cutting candle ritual for the sake of ridding myself of this wretch.

[mcalhenwrites]

I haven't posted much writing or art, and I haven't done much either. I've been sick all week, so I haven't gotten much done.

Sore throat started Monday afternoon, and I managed to function through Tuesday, but Wed-Fri sucked. I am now able to breathe, I just get coughing fits to clear muck from throat, and Advil helps with my headache. Sleep deprived, though, and... Wednesday or Thursday, I can't remember, I woke up with a brown recluse smashed against my nightshirt. Luckily it didn't get smashed against bare skin where a bite could penetrate, or I'd be in agony. (Fun fact: facebook memories is reminding me the past week of my 2020 recluse bite situation, so uh... No, I do not care for a repeat! I hope to get back to writing and art tomorrow! I had talked about posting more dragon universe information, so I want to type up a doc about that + repost art with info on all the dragons I've drawn and/or crocheted so far! Plus editing some Rascal-related stuff, editing Don't (Geckos, Automata side story) and posting a link to the new version on google docs, editing Geckos for publication (I'm still gonna do it, I guess), and some other stuff... Oh, and writing a doc that summarizes my writing projects. :) I also need to maybe draw... but ugh, I'm so behind. I make plans every week to do stuff, and I'm always fucking sick with something instead. Anemia the week before last, a cold this week, and next week will be...? Fibro flare? I'm not productive and I miss my walks (and my dog keeps nosing the leash bc he wants one too). Luckily TOTK kept me busy all week/was a nice distraction, but I feel awful if I suck too much time into video games. Besides, I'm hooked now, and uhhh... my mom is gonna want her copy back once she finishes Xenoblade 3 DLC and I ummm borrowed the copy from her. XD; So I'd probably do well to focus on work, since she apparently just has the final boss left to go and wants TOTK after that. :')

[kittykatinabag]

This Ruzader idea popped in my head on one of my multiple bus misfortunes of my trip. It's been a long time since I actually sketched a thing instead of just slapping colors and marks on paper. I forgot how hard sketching is...

The main inspiration for the form was a combination of the Coast Horned Lizard (Phrynosoma coronatum), desert reptiles in general, geckos/salamanders/other reptiles that lose and regenerate their tails, the Iguana Parrot from Avatar, and the Izuchi monsters in Monster Hunter Rise. For the colors I tried to stay in similar families to Ruze's hair colors, crimson, and what wouldn't be completely out of place in the environment of the Badlands.

I tried to stay away from overly dinosaur-like features (because I assume Jurard's going with that theme for the Sorawrity (or however the fuck you spell that)) as well as steering away from axolotl features because of the Axelotls. I didn't add it but I also imagine each Ruzader wearing their own unique mask and scale coloring, similar to how the Koipanions are all different colored and have different hats sometimes (sans Puniko).

It's far far too late right now to add what I hand wrote in the pic but I might come back to this in a few days to type it out here since idk if my handwriting is easy to read for those who have English as a second language and rarely see native handwriting in the wild.

Below the cut I'll post some progress pics from when I was inking and painting the colors, as well as a pre-colored version. Also if anyone is better at art, feel free to recreate this concept to look more badass-cute like I initially intended but failed to fully execute on. Just like don't be a dick and credit the idea at least.

Okay this is the actual concept sketch as I was (suffering) in a bus that was breaking down on the side of the road. I think this guy's such a cute little thing despite how crudely it's sketched via my pointer finger.

Pre-color version! Easier to read text since I took this during the day and lighting was better.

I want to draw your attention to the "waterproof on paper" claim on this inking pen 😒

First colors laid down!

This was about the point when my wrist started hurting from dotting the watercolors so precisely and I regretted every painting decision I made here. But I'm still not confident enough in my control over watercolors (especially in this definitely-not-watercolor-paper sketch book) to just wash and glaze the colors.

And here's the supplies I used. From top to bottom:

Staples postscript 0.7 mechanical pencil

Random fine liner paint brush I bought. I think the bristles are natural hair but no idea what animal.

Sharpie S-pen 0.5

Staedtler pigment liner 0.2

Kuretake waterbrush fine version

Faber-Castell watercolor pencils in deep scarlet red, bistre, dark red, and nougat

Kuretake Gansai Tambi gouache-ish watercolors 12 color set 2 (they're kind of in-between gouache and watercolors idk they're Kuretakes, if you're familiar you're familiar). I used the colors neutral beige (11), rose beige (12), indian red (71), maroon (72), and gray (21).

Thanks for reading this far if you did! This was fun, but it's 3:30am right now and I need to sleep so I can panic-pack my stuff tomorrow morning before checkout to return from my trip.

[radroachmeat]

maybe i wouldnt mind being shot in the head 🕳️

[fantasy-anatomy-analyst]

Ive been trying to create an anthro crocodilian species following your advice on how to create non primate humanoids, but one problem is that shortening the snout makes it hard to keep them recognizable as crocodilian. Can you give me advice?

Reptiles are one of the hardest creatures to turn into a fully humanoid figure without making it look weird.

I actually dont usually go for a more humanoid face on my own lizard folk, adapting the lizard anatomy to simply be bipedal and rounding out the face just a little bit.

Example: this leopard gecko dude.

(Image description: my oc Kidron, an anthro leopard gecko. He is yellow with dark spots, wearing a blue shirt, pink scarf, and grey pants. He is smilinga and waving at the viewer)

But making a reptilian face recognizable and also much more human shaped is a great challenge. I'm on the road at the moment, so I don't have drawings. But I do have some tips.

Firstly, figure out what it is that makes a crocodile look like a crocodile. What features do you need to maintain in the humanoid version to keep the origin more clear?

(Image description: a side by side comparison of saltwater crocodile faces and American alligators. It clearly shows how crocodiles have a narrower face and more visible teeth. End description.)

They have very flat faces, which is part of what makes the humanoid face shape difficult to achieve while still having it be clearly crocodilian. So you may need to sacrifice a little more of the humanoid shape to keep more crocodile features.

For example, the iconic raised eyes that can peek above the water while the face is submerged. Maybe flatten the forehead of your crocodile people and bring their eyes up. Adding the bumpy texture into the nose bridge will probably also help.

One of the most iconic things about a crocodile face is definitely the teeth. See how the top and bottom teeth both overlap the skin of the mouth? You dont have to do it all the way, but adding in some prominent teeth will help.

From there, you can do the same with the rest of the body. The thick neck skin, stout limbs, and the tail with ridges of scales called scutes.

Oh yeah, and of course the yellow eyes with the vertical pupil. Crocodiles also have a nictating membrane, like most animals that spend a lot of time in the water.

Hope that helps!

[sleepysailorghost]

Benny's Big Score

It turns out that New Reno was not a great place.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, a solution to his problems. But it wasn't.

New Reno was dirty, but not in the same glimmery-glittery way that New Vegas was. It wasn't like when he had come to Vegas for the first time, the Bootstraps with him. He was alone. There were no chairmen to protect him, no brothers willing to die with him.

Sitting in the dingy bar, he curses the courier under his breath.

"Oh, don't get me started on Couriers." a melodic voice chimed in. A smooth-voiced ghoul in a fancy pre-war tuxedo sat down on the barstool next to Benny. "You wouldn't know the half of it."

"A courier done you wrong too?"

"I gave as good as I got." the ghoul replied, and in him, Benny recognized that they were both well-dressed men who had been chased out by couriers.

"And yet we're still sitting here in this bar, ring-a-ding." Benny took a sip of his drink. Disgusting as it was (and expensive!), Benny's pride as a Bootstrap and leader of the Chairmen kept him from spitting it out. "Say, who are you anyhow?"

The ghoul rolled his eyes under the sunglasses he wore.

"200 years ago everyone knew my name. Dean Domino's the name, don't wear it out."

Benny's eyes widened.

"That for real? Where ya been hiding out all this time?" Benny questioned, leaning on the bar counter. "Could have used you back in New Vegas."

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Dean answered smoothly. Benny prodded at him again in his "Ring-a-Ding-Ding" fashion, and Dean sighed before answering. "The Sierra Madre."

"Woah, let's keep it in the grove. You," He paused for emphasis. "Are the ghoulified version of prewar icon Dean Domino and you've been hiding out in the casino in the land of the dead?"

"Yes, I suppose if you put it like that."

"I'm the Ben-man, the kingpin of the whole Strip." Benny said, bitterly drinking from his glass. "Or I was."

"Taken down by a courier?" Dean snarked.

"Ain't that a kick in the head. You think you put one in the ground but then they follow you home and try and climb in your bed. Ruin your damn plans. But I'll be back."

"The courier-I never caught their name-banned me from Vegas. They threated to kill me if they ever saw me again. As if they'd get the chance."

"You and me, we're men cut from the same cloth." Benny said, and Dean looked over him.

"Are we really?"

"Yeah, we're both men screwed over by couriers when we could've been kings!" Benny rubbed his hand over his jaw, and then continued. "Y'know...we oughta get together sometime. We could get revenge on the Mojave Express and I have a lot of draw in New Vegas. I could even get you a job preforming in the Tops. Hell, even the Lucky 38."

"Why not?" Dean agreed. Thinking a moment, he asked. "That courier you knew, did they have a large scar on their head?"

"They did actually...a gift from me. Tie, I think that's their name. Well, it's what their boy-toy sniper-type called them when they weren't trying to jump into bed with me."

"Two birds with one stone." Dean said. "Shall we?"

"Yeah, pal."

It took time to get back to New Vegas. This gave them time to plan and plot and scheme about how to get their revenge on the courier.

More or less, it was easy for them to get into the Strip. After all, this was the land that Benny was Chairman of. He was also very skilled with computers, so it wasn't a challenge for Benny to hack into the securitrons.

Their first stop in Vegas was Mick and Ralph's. Throwing a cap to the crier boy outside the story, Benny asked "Are your old men inside?"

The boy responded and Benny strolled into the building like he owned it. Explaining to Dean, he added, "It helps to bring flowers home."

"Benny." Mick greeted shortly.

"Mick, my guy! How's the family?" Benny sidled up to the store owner. "Say, have you gotten any flowers in lately?"

Mick sighed and retreated to the back room. He returned with a wilted bouquet.

"I've only got these in because of Pacer. You know how he's gonna get, you're throwing of his plans with" Mick complained, but Benny cut him off.

"Tell him to send all his complaints to the Tops!" He exclaimed and snatched the bouquet. It was dry and wilty, formed from common Mojave plants rather than one made from Vault-Tec's greenrooms. It must have come in with Crimson Caravans, Benny thought, but Swank would like it well enough.

He shoved a couple caps into Mick's hand-underpaying people was something that got him into trouble before.

"To the Tops!" He called, and Dean followed him.

"Ugh. How things have changed." Dean groaned. "What have you done with the place?"

"Seal it, Dean-o! I've got a man to see. Our plan won't work without Swank."

The man in the check-in window looked up when Benny said his name.

"Shit, Benny. I haven't seen you in ages."

"Missed you too, Swank. You didn't even kiss me goodbye."

"You're not supposed to be here. I know you tried to kill that courier."

"C'mon, Swank. You've gotta let me explain." He gestured with the bouquet. "I brought you flowers."

Swank looked like he was conflicted, but then he sighed.

"Fine. Explain then, boss."

"Alright, so the courier. I did try and kill that courier, but I had good reason for it. You've got to believe me. I needed the platinum chip."

"You can't just keep saying I have to let you explain and I have to believe you. It doesn't work that way. But I'll bite. What's a platinum chip and why did you need it?"

"It's what we need. If we have it, we can upgrade the securitrons and then we won't need the NCR or the Legion or House to protect New Vegas." He smiled bitterly. "It would have been freedom for all of us."

Swank looked at Benny silently.

"I know why I failed now. I needed you and the Chairmen. I needed you."

That seemed to certify it for Swank. He inhaled deeply and then exhaled.

"Alright Benny. But this is the last time. You mess this up and it'll be the end-not just for you and me, but for all of us." He made cautious and firm eye contact with Benny. "What's the plan?"

"You're the man, Swank!" Benny shouted excitedly and leaned over the weapon-check counter to wrap a hand around Swank's shoulder and pull him down for a kiss. Releasing him, he continued. "Oh, it's a doozy of a plan."

Swank looked around and then signalled to another Chairman.

"You take over here." He said, and stepped out from behind the weapon check counter.

The plan was a doozy, Swank thought as he walked from the Tops to the Lucky 38. He hoped the Courier was staying there tonight. If not, he'd have to regroup with Benny and Dean to send them to the Atomic Wrangler instead.

Night had fallen quickly over New Vegas in the hours after Benny had made up with Swank, but his thoughts were quickly interrupted when Swank bumped into someone.

"Watch it," He barked. Looking at the young woman, he realized she was a courier-she had a courier's duster loosely over a purple shirt-but not the one they were going to kill.

"Eh? Did you need something?" She said, "I'm going to Show Low."

It was a dangerous route for a courier because it went right into Legion teritory, but Swank didn't care. It seemed like a good idea at the time, a solution to his problems. But it wasn't.

"Sorry. Good luck!" He said and continued on route to the Lucky 38.

"You too?" Swank heard, but there was a lot of noise. The Strip was loud.

Arriving at the Lucky 38, he let himself in. The collar weighed heavily in his pocket, but he knew that was just in his head. It couldn't weigh more than a pound or two.

"Hello?" he called. "I need to speak to the Courier? It's really important..."

There wasn't any response for a moment. Then the elevator chimed and two people exited.

One was the Courier, and the other was a bitter-faced sniper with an NCR beret.

"Oh...Mr. Tops?" The courier said. "Did you need something? We were just on our way out..."

"Yes, and it's very important. And it can't wait." Swank replied

The little computer on the Courier's arm beeped.

"Alright, what's going on?"

"Sit down, this is very important news." The courier sat down. The sniper stood to the side.

His hands were starting to sweat and he wiped them on his suitpants. Ugh, he could almost hear Benny scolding him for dirtying it.

"I've discovered..." He spoke softly...and the courier leaned into hear better. Just as they planned. "Sorry."

With that, he swiftly reached into his coat pocket and snapped the collar around the courier's neck. It latched closed and armed before they could even move.

They startled back, but it was of no use.

"Recognize it, courier?" a charismatic and smooth voice called as Dean Domino and Benny Gecko strolled into the lobby of the Lucky 38.

The Courier's face was fearful, but the sniper's eyes were full of rage. Their hands clawed at their throat, but it was futile against the explosive collar.

"I wouldn't do that, Pussycat." Benny's voice chimed in. "It's rigged to blow. But I'm sure you knew that. According to my new friend here, you've had some experience with them."

"Dean." They said quietly. " You were warned. I told you what I'd do if I ever saw you again. I'll kill you even if I have to take you down with me."

"Geez, Domino, what'd you do to make 'em hate you so bad?" Benny ran a hand through his hair. "I shot them in the head-twice, even-and left them for dead. And they still tried to sleep with me! Oh, and I wouldn't go making any moves there, friend, unless you'd like your little courier blown to bits. Or do, it would make it easier on me."

"I believe it was that I had their little friend's vocal cords ripped out. Or maybe it was the whole threatening to blow them up." Dean answered. "I never narrowed it down."

"Wow, Benny!" the Pip-Boy beeped. "I never thought I'd see you again! You keep some interesting friends!"

"Yes-Man?" Benny questioned, and then waved it aside. "Eh, never mind. When I've got the platinum chip, I can fix whatever they did to you."

"Yes-Man," Antietam said, dropping their hands from their neck "Could you keep it down? I'm about to get blown up."

"No, you're not." Boone reassured them quietly. "Gotta be some way to take these guys out..."

Internally, Antietam was weighing whether it was worth it to charge Dean and take him down with them. But there was a likelihood of Boone being injured in the blast, so it wasn't going to work out.

"Now, now Courier..." Dean said. "Where did you take the treasure when you ran off? You ruined over two hundred years worth of revenge."

The courier wanted to lash out, but they reigned their temper in.

"You ruined it...You ruined the whole Sierra Madre, did you know that? It could have been a safe haven, a shelter from the nuclear anihilation. But you couldn't tolerate what you percieved as an insult to your ego! And you ruined Vera's life-she was dying and you blackmailed her!" Their vitreolic rant paused. It wasn't the whole sad story, but the only one who knew that was Antietam. And they were too angry and biased against Dean to really care that their rant was biased. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Woah, let's calm down, Pussycat. You keep yourself under control or one of us might just forget ourselves and hit that button. We wouldn't want that, now would we? Let's get down to business." Christine and Veronica ran downstairs.

"Hey, what's going on? We heard commotion." Veronica said, and then when she saw the situation, she put her hands on her hips. "Are you guys having a party without me?"

Christine, on the other hand, growled.

"Dean." It came out in Vera's voice, and if Dean had skin, it would have gone pale with fear. As it was, it broke his composure.

"So it worked." He said finally.

"Alright, don't make any moves!" Benny shouted. "You try anything and I'll blow your friend to smithereens."

"Who are these guys?" Veronica asked.

"Some guys who tried to kill Tie before, I think." Boone answered

"Dean Domino, Swank Gecko-Pierce, and I'm the pro from Dover." Benny barked. "Now I want answers! Where's the platinum chip?"

None of them answered.

"I guess none of you value the Courier's life, seeing as none of you are providing answers." He pulled Maria from his pocket. "No matter. We'll start with the boy toy."

With that, he leveled Maria at Boone.

"Things are getting a little heated, Benny." Swank said, making eye contact with the checker-suited man.

"Stop." The Courier said. "I'll tell you where I hid the chip. Just let my friends go."

"Benny, this is getting more heated than I thought it would." Swank noted.

"Can it, Swank. We're about to get some answers!" Benny responded.

"It's in the dresser in the motel in Novac. Let my friends go, Benny."

"It's like it doesn't even matter to you!" Benny exclaimed. "It-" Swank cut him off by setting a hand on Benny's outstretched arm.

"Benny, calm down. We don't have time for his right now."

"Yeah, Benny, calm down." Dean chimed in, although it was clearly mocking him, which Benny picked up on immediately.

"You got something to add, Deano?" Benny snarked back.

"You know, Ben-man, I think I'm tired of playing accomplice. I'm so tired of playing second fiddle...I think I'll kill you and your friends and claim New Vegas for my own."

"Yeah, that's not happening." Benny fired back. He pointed Maria at Dean. "It's been real and it's been great, but it's not real great."

He fired.

"Shit, Benny, you missed." Swank said, to which Benny responded "Shut up, I know I missed."

He shot again and again and Dean didn't move, until he slumped to the ground, full of lead.

"Well, that's a bust." Benny said. "Hey, whataya say, Courier? We can burry the hatchet with this guy and work together. I won't kill you or your little friends and you won't kill me and Swank. Fair's fair, right?"

It was a stretch-even now, Christine and Veronica's nimble fingers were removing the explosive collar from the angry courier's throat. But Benny had always been a gambling man.

[pinepickled-artblog]

I finally drew my Obey Me MC, Arbor!  He is an immortal sorceror, older than modern and ancient religion alike, and his boy of choice is Michael!  I’m going to be drawing more of his wardrobe, and they come in two sets: Sunlight and Moonshine.  This outfit is from his Sunlight collection!  More under the cut~

~ He is best friends with Solomon, and finds it very amusing how Solomon barely knows how to use magic yet is the most skilled sorcerer in the Sorcerer’s Society

~ His first pact was with Mammon, and he placed the pact mark right under his belly button.  

~ Arbor is extremely laid back, to the point where Belphie stabbing him had little impact on him in the grand scheme of things.

~ He had little interest in demons and demonic pacts before, and only interacted with them at all to humor Solomon

~ Has two angels who love him dearly, Cassiel (who I headcanon as Simeon’s blond twin) and Michael!

~ His ball park is nature, anything nature related he basically rules over.  He also has a little gecko tattoo that runs around his body and is a little shit

~ He refuses to bottom in most circumstances, and it stems from an ancient sex culture where bottoming was seen as ‘losing’.  In the same vain, Arbor has indeed ‘lost’ a few times, and they were very painful but not something he feels the need to dwell on for long.

~ He’s considers to have ‘lost’ to two beings he interacts with often, Mera (an octopus mage) and Michael (fucked around and found out)

~ Lucifer desperately wants to show him affection, but Arbor has no intention of making Lucifer’s intention any easier to carry out.  Being a demon of pride and needing to tell the strange human they make you weak is quite a big task.

~ Leviathan, on the other hand, is someone Arbor is greatly fond of.  Sadly Levi is more occupied with a certain Grand Admiral.

~ Satan is someone who avoids him with great effort.  Arbor, for lack of a better word, scares him :)

~ Asmodeus is torn between avoiding Arbor and seeking him out constantly due to reasons I will be revealing in Arbor’s story

~ Beelzebub and Belphie find his presence soothing, and since the sin Arbor most identifies with is Sloth, Belphie adores him

~ Michael entered a Blessing (the angelic version of a pact) with Arbor due to the Angel Event.  Arbor lost his shit- something that is extremely rare- and beat the shit out of Simeon until Michael appeared to appease him.

~ Arbor is also extremely old and extremely powerful, so beating up an Archangel with his bare hands wasn’t too difficult.

~ Don’t make Arbor angry and you’ll be fine.

If you want to see more of Arbor, check out my fics on ao3, ObeyMeMember where Arbor features the most often, as well as a playful little smut fic with Arbor and the beautiful @lunakurenai‘s OC, Ayano!  Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy him!

[fabuloustrash05]

My Version of ROTTMNT Mona Lisa!!

In honor of ROTTMNT ending I decided to create my own take of one of my favorite characters in the TMNT universe. I’ve been wanting to draw her for so long and I was finally able to get this done!

Mona Lisa is a young talented mechanic in the yokai world. If you have a car or a motorcycle that needs repairs, Mona is the right girl for the job! There’s isn’t any kind of vehicle she can’t fix. She’s known as a kind girl and a bit of a spitfire who’s surprisingly quick with her witty comebacks. She is mostly seen in the garage of her car repair workshop but she has a secret outside the shop she’s not ready to share just yet...

Fun Fact: Mona has a little brother around Mikey’s age and him and Mikey are BFFs. He’s a radical dude who loves skateboarding ;D

Also, yes, Raph has a thing for Mona

sorry if you can’t read my handwriting

Edit: Check out Mondo Gecko’s design

[spiceloutte]

Your top 5 emojis (I think I know number 1 already) and your top 5 animals, please 💖

Can I be bad and say I next to never use emojis? I never really have but I’ll try!

1. 🌹 the rose!! Very specifically my baby I get on my Samsung tablet. Isn't she pretty? All other rose emojis pale in comparison.

2. 💙 I like the hearts but blue heart is the one I gravitate to. Its just prettier.

3. 👌 It was in my recents so I assume I use it here and there. Mainly just? To say nice? It's on point? It's top 5 in use but also I know would use it regardless if I used a lot of emojis.

4. 🏳️‍🌈 Uh.. we gay. Just- we gay. And I couldn't find the rainbow arch version.

5. 🐑 because.. Sheep?

Top 5 animals really puts me on the spot because so many animals are so amazing and pretty so im going to be rather broad and maybe add a few subspecies I like within it? This counts, it counts. I... Genuinely am struggling to only choose 5 and you can see it and I'm not ashamed to be so bad at this.

3. Foxes! I just think they're neat. They're just fluffy kids and I tend to binge on fox videos every so often. I know a rescue who posts a lot of videos and its so nice to watch all the "hehehehe" babies. There's a fox village in Japan and I need need need to go there like oh!!! Sweethearts!!!! We have a few varieties in Aus but it's illegal to own them, I don't know what's happened to all the old rescues (it used to be legal) and old pet foxes? So I don't think I could work with them or anything. They're labelled as a pest to native wildlife, apparently. Big disappointment.

1. Wolves. I just love wolves okay. Think I was 10 and drawing ugly looking wolves with bad anatomy but I loved drawing then regardless. I don't really have a favourite but can I mention how weird looking maned wolves look? It's not Actually a wolf so I'm being cheeky talking about it but I want to say what is this lanky dude? If I had the chance, and it wasnt illegal in Australia for there to be wolves, much less an any-content wolf-dog, I'd be helping out at a rescue with all those giant guys because you can't necessarily release them when they've been in human care for so long. There's Australia's equivalent, dingos, which I met and got to pet one! They were very fluffy.

2. Horses. I've always been a horse kid. Theyre just so majestic? I was horse riding for a few years when I was a kid and it was always the best time, I want to get back into it but it's just so expensive. I don't necessarily have a favourite breed but draft horses are big fluffy kids. The more manageable gypsy vanner is somewhat similar with the big fluffy legs but I'm an excited kid when I see piebald horses. Gorgeous. So gorgeous.

4. Probably dogs! We have a little puppy and she's a little kelpie mix, she's adorable. I'll go sit down and she'll come over and either sit on or lay part way over my lap. I know a lot of dog breeds off the top of my head but I have to say sighthounds are my favourite. Borzoi's? Silken windhounds? Salukis? Yes please! But I do like German shepherds, aussie shepherds, NSDTR, basically any medium-large fluffy dog (as long as they don't have big, floppy jowls.. sorry but im not the biggest fan of the long jowls).

5. I know I can't group reptiles all in one category, its unfortunate.. Honourable mentions are snakes, geckos, dwarf caimans. But my favourite is ackie monitors! You normally think of monitor lizards as these huge komodo dragons or big lace monitors, the size of a human laying down. Ackies are little versions! Grow about the size of your forearm. I first learnt about Ackies in a Larry fic, believe it or not, an abo! They're so cute!!

Ask me my top 5 :)

[barksbog]

frequently sent anons and stuff

gonna answer some thing people keep asking me or keep getting wrong or i just really feel are important to know

(i have a faq but we all know what tumblr mobile be like)

how did you become a plush making gremlin?

always loved plushies and weird creatures

learned how to make plushies on The Internets

took some commissions for custom ones (did not enjoy that too much)

started to sell my own designs

here we go

^most professional image that exists of my face.

whole lot more under the cut

1. business/onlineshop related 

Do you take commissions? I don´t really open for regular comissions.

i sometimes accept “sponsorships” of stuff that fits with my other work. especially if it´s just a recoloring of an existing pattern (like a different species of slug or toad for example).

will you sell more of this plushie?

if it´s still in the online shop but listed as out of stock the answer is most likely yes. it takes me a while tho because i really do make each one myself. this is a one gremlin operation.

i really wanted to get one of your microraptors, spinosaurs (or any other dinosaur plushie)? will they come back?

sorry they really won´t. neither will i restock any of the dinosaur charms, pins and stickers once they sold out. for a good amount of reasons i have decided to leave paleoart behind. as cool as dinosaurs are. i like my mental health more.

i feel like everyone who witnessed the level of drama coming from certain members of the paleo community understands completely what i mean and while i know you can create paleoart and just reduce interaction to a minimum i like to be active on social media and discord servers relevant to what i do.

do you ship to ...

yes. yes i ship worldwide.

does that plushie really cost 30,000€?

no my likely american friend. it´s 30.00€ we just use commas here and so does my shop when set to €. i can´t set it to $ because i need to pay my. everything. in € and honestly don´t want to constantly gamble on the current exchange course being steady so i actually get my money. paypal will let you pay in your currency tho and just send me €.

i tried to contact you and you didn´t respond?

-if you contacted me like “hey” or “hey i have a question” i´m unlikely to have the energy to respond. please always contact artists with what you want to know

-i have answered that question a lot before or it can easily be answered by looking at my onlineshops faq

-you sent me an anon about a order. i can´t help you there

-if you have order related question it´s best to email me through the contact form of my onlineshop. if you just email my business mail it often ends in spam and i don´t see if for a few weeks.

2. sewing/plush making related

Where do you get that fabric? how does that happen to have toads on it?

i get it custom printed by spoonflower (they have a factory in the US and in Germany). i design it in photoshop and just upload it and they print it for me. they can be a bit slow. or just send you a meter of middle earth for no reason. or print a meter half black for no reason but overall their quality is great and so is their customer support when they do mess up.

a few tips i have are:

- the minky piling runs from the top down.

- you can design meters even when it says and displays yards in the preview, just check if it´s set to meters when in the basket before checkout.

- never set anything to center and order more than one meter, it will be printed once in the middle and leave you with a bunch of white useless minky.

- if you don´t want to wrangle 4 meters of fabric apart just keep adding One meter of the design at the time and you will get precut meters.

where did you learn to sew? how do i learn to sew?

I had a very basic crafts class in school with a shitty teacher that told me that “i´m sloppy and Can Not Sew” but really everything useful i ever learned i learned from The Internets so just go and look for some free patterns and tutorials and you are good to go. after trying a few patterns you will get a feeling for how plushies work and can combine what you learned. it´s really just like when you learn to draw and break things down into shapes.

if you have some questions or things you can´t figure out or just want to talk about crafts i run a really nice server with palaeoplushies

https://discord.gg/Cqwq4r3

what´s it like to run a business with 21?

stressful. i´m not always sure what i´m doing. but i´m doing it. and i believe in you, you can do it too. there is a 10kg bag of stuffing and a 25kg box of beans in my room. i have a whole huge sorting box full of eyes.

you are doing this fulltime? that´s really cool

yes i do this fulltime However. i really wish i could have a sidejob but i can´t because i have a funky brain and migraines so i really can´t find or keept almost any job.

^me doing my job.professionally. my job being. turning the fricking frogs gay.

3. personal.

so you are australian, how are the kangaroos?

No. Stop. I´m austrian. i don´t even know if you are joking or for real. just don´t.

so you are german? you speak german right?

again. i´m austrian. yes we speak german here but a different dialect so i likely don´t sound like the germans you have heard in movies. in fact the majority of germans will not even understand me.

can you stop complaining about the weather?

yes i complain about heat because. i´m heat sensitive. also because i´m actually an Alpine Gremlin and shouldn´t be subjected to temperatures over 30°C. our house doesn´t have AC. i work in here all day at 28°C room temp and with high humidty.

yes i complain about the cold too. because our house is old and badly insulated and i have to carry in firewood in laundrybaskets to feed to an old woodburner and it sucks. our house frequently falls down to 16°C.

so there is a spelling mistake?

yes i make a lot of spelling mistakes. or just switch out whole words. or forget whole words. unless it´s something important like a salespost please just don´t point that out constantly. like mentioned before i have a funky brain and it just be like that. also like mentioned before. i´m austrian. english is actually my second language so. be nice.

way too long list of spire fun facts:

i´m nonbinary and use they/them pronouns. i´m also very gay.

if you see me refer to “my wife” that´s the moon. i´m legally married to her. i really like dramatically standing on my balcony and looking at her.

if you see me yell about “the lesbians” that´s my mourning geckos.

i have 13 furbies. and you have no right to insult them. they are baby.

i also have a lot of skulls and other dead things

I´m autistic and come with some extra dyslexia, depression and anxiety.

i also come with intense migraines that can make me useless for a solid week

i live in a village surounded by woods with less than 200 people

i did spent a lot of time in vienna for 6 years tho and lived there for three of that 6

i actually have a diploma in graphic design. that i don´t really need for anything but winning argument about aesthetic choices or making jokes

yes. i am kinda short. (162cm/5.3ft)

i have two cats. they are littermates tho. so i get some people have a hard time telling it´s not just the same cat. i swear they are two different cats tho and actually really easy for me to tell apart.

milk belongs in tetrapacks. not jugs. fight me

tapirs are nasty creatures

krampus comes on the 5th or 6th of december. stop calling him the christmas devil you fools. my source? growing up with the krampus tradition.

you know what happens on the 24th tho? me. that´s my birthday. and that is in fact austrian christmas day. all christmas happens that day. if you wish me merry christmas before happy birthday i will never forgive you.

i really loved balto as a child. the dingo pictures version tho. i was enraged when i saw the ofiicial balto because i thought they stole it from dingo pictures. i watched a lot of dingo pictures and that´s why i´m Like This

^my lovely wife

if you see me rambling in the tags. generally i´m. okay. you don´t have to worry but if you relate or just feel like talking to me? you can dm me and i have actually made friends like that before so.

if i don´t respond to your dms or asks it´s not because i don´t like you i just have very low social energy most days 

and finally.

if you think me and @palaeoplushies are the same person we have a legal right to your soul and your favorite child for our Collection

we prefer none human children tho

(i´m sorry for tagging you. and making you scroll through like “wtf is spire taggin me in now again” but it would have felt weirder not to let you know about the future souls i´m sending your way)

[lorific-arts]

Foot Clan: Karai and Okami

Finally got around to posting my redesign for Rise of the TMNT Karai, and a bonus OC!

Karai is the daughter of the foot clan leader shredder and wants to take over it once older of course. But in my version she isnt a full pledged member yet, which i would think means she doesnt get the flames like the others do until proven worthy. She's the "precious princess" to the foot clans eyes but who kicks your ass if you even think of undermining her.

Okami is a bodyguard that has been assigned to Karai. He earned his flames for the foot clan but would rather not have the full face paint of a foot because total ew, why feet on the face? Okami knows Karai can handle herself and only does his duty when Karai totally needs help. He sees her as his equal and treats her as such or even as a higher individual. Aside from his ninja skills, he possesses an artifact that gives him Yokai abilities of a wolf but it can only be used so often before side effects kick in of him feeling sick.

They move to the city from Japan and after fighting the turtles already a few times, both begin to attend April's school. Karai is a total introvert and April (who is totally unaware of Karai being in the foot because they hadnt met) wants to befriend her.

I can't wait to kick into this and draw them more. Plus I need to keep in practice of humans instead of geckos! 😂

[elastigirl72]

Day 24 and 25

71km to go

Day 24, 25 and 26: Trikala>Lamia>Thiva

Thiva: 18:43

The sun came out! Three days ago, I gifted my overshoes to Kastoria. Two days, Trikala’s Airbnb owner now has a beautiful pair of threadbare, elasticity long gone Castelli leg warmers, and has no idea of the significance of this gift. This is a cyclist’s version of a striptease...which can also and was performed on the move in the last few days: the jacket, the arm warmers and then a few miles later, the leg warmers.

It was the first morning I left without having consider any layering choices. I felt an awful lot lighter after being charged €8 for two cappuccinos, and I found a bike shop who pumped up my tyres and sent me on my way with a new inner tube after my puncture set bounced off somewhere in the previous day’s ride. Maybe Hades horrors got THAT close. Enjoy, you savages!

Greece has really surprised me, in a multitude of ways. Firstly, it’s people. I know a few Greeks. In fact, Dmitri who is married to Katherine and currently looking after my house and dog, Nyla (how dogs should be) is from Corinthe. He and the other Greek seem lovely. However, here, if I’m totally honest, on the whole, appear to have a serious attitude problem or a chip on their shoulder. You’ll get what you need from them, but blimey, they won’t make it easy! And on the whole, everything they do for you seems to be a massive chore; they tend to look decidedly pissed off! Yet, despite this, I quite like them. It’s like they don’t really give a hoot what anyone else thinks about them. You’ll do things their way or you’ll go without. Is it because of the long and deep Greek tragedies and history that floods its many mountains and plains? I thought that Italians were expressive, which they are. But Greeks don’t want to be expressive but if you push them, you’ll probably see the wrong kind of expressive!

Take for example, the owner of the hotel I’m in right now. The pool is not in use, it’s in the middle of nowhere and whilst it’s clean, so is a travelodge or Premier Inn, but none typically have atmosphere and are extremely functional. Bed, check in, restaurant and bar if you’re lucky. As I rested for the first time by the lovely looking pool on this trip, the owner came over to speak to me declaring his position as if I should congratulate him. And then proceeded to try and get me to cancel my booking.com booking, drive up to the cash point with him in order to pay cash and get a €10 discount for the most expensive and overpriced hotel for the whole 25 days to date. After telling him I’d think it over for while, and the hassle of getting in a car to go to get cash, and concerned that cancelling the booking after the cancellation period had passed with the possibility of double payment and no recourse, I told him it’s not worth it. I’d also be charged a currency fee for the withdrawal (I haven’t mentioned it, but a few days ago, in supposed trusted company, I was set up and pickpocketed. That in itself was genius how it was staged. Luckily they only got away with coins from 8 different countries and my international card. But that has made the cash process a little tricky). Mr owner, who clearly thought very highly of his negotiation skills, stating Booking.com make billions, and me being a seasoned traveller must play the system all the time. Am I missing a trick here? Maybe, but after much insistence after his persistence, he got the message. But this is my experience of Greeks.

Moving to the cycling. I’d been warned by said Greeks that Greek drivers were about the worst you could find. Be careful, I was warned. The roads are very busy and Greeks don’t deal with cyclists at all well. This really set me up to see Greece as a country I needed to get through to get to Athens and the end of my cross-continent adventure. The truth is I have been totally amazed. It has been, day after day, the best cycling I’ve done anywhere in Europe, including Spain and France. Not only are the drivers considerate, stop and wait at intersections for the cyclist to pass, they indicate, pull out, wait, and many toot and wave encouragement. The roads are empty, generally in great condition and all around, the scenery continuously draws you in. The culture is rich, untouched. I saw my first living snake on one road, the same road I saw many geckos between Kastoria and Trikala. The sides of the roads are dressed with millions of poppies, Aloe Vera, cacti, hemp, olive trees. I’m yet to reach Athens but I haven’t once felt unsafe due to traffic. Wild dogs, yes. I’d rather not repeat those.

Both Lamia and Kastoria were gems on an unplanned route. I don’t feel like seeing Thiva as I’m full of hay fever and possibly a cold, so am uninspired. It does have an interesting past though and was an important as a city and in Greek mythology. But I’m very happy here in my apartment away from everywhere: the calm before the storm, returning to relative reality tomorrow.

I don’t know why this area for cyclists seems to be so undiscovered, but I’m so glad I made the decision to come inland. The coast will undoubtedly be much busier than this incredible, mountainous and flat landscape from Albania to Athens. I couldn’t be happier on my bike than I’ve been for the past four days.😊. The balance of vistas for this trip have been perfect: mainland, coast and now mountains. That pretty much covers it! I later hear from Mr Owner as he reluctantly demanded my card payment as he saw me sat on my balcony because he wasn’t there in the morning, that 30 Hungarian cyclists were arriving the next day. For them it’s a short flight away. They’re obviously in on this secret nirvana that is Greece.

The days have rolled by and here I am, one ride away from Athens. I’m still focused, but also excited. 71km till I pack up my bike, having dipped my feet and maybe even swum in the Aegean in the last few miles of my Odyssey...surely that is classed as a transcontinental bike ride? 😃.

Packing away my winter gear, my shorts and t-shirt for the last time, throwing away all the bits and pieces I no longer need, and counting the hours...one more sleep and Athens...

26 days have past

24 days of cycling (excluding the abandoned day after 10 miles)

11 countries

6 currencies

3414km recorded cycling (2133 miles)

27,345m ascent (climbing)

1 backpack and frame bag - weight 4kg

I train ride (not included in mileage) to avoid snow

Two ferries - English Channel and 500m at Montenegro

Crossed the Severn, English Channel, past the Mediterranean And Adriatic Seas...

Days in order of awesomeness:

1 Librazhd>Kastoria

2 Lamia>Thiva

3 Trikala>Lamia

4 Senj>Zadar

5 Shkoder>Librazhd

The four least enjoyable:

1 Como>Garda - weather and traffic

2 Bellinzona>Como - weather and traffic

3 Venice>Trieste - weather

4 Neum>Herceg Novi - traffic

Favourite people by country:

Albanian

Bosnian

Montenegrin

Croatian

Italian

English

French

Greek

Swiss

Best hospitality: Albania then Bosnia

Best meal: Albania then Greece

Best weather: Greece

Biggest surprise country: equal Albania and Greece

Favourite city: Split

Best hotel: Calais and Albania

Least favourite city: Saint Quentin

Hardest day: Venice - abandoning for the day and the following day prospect of another abandoned day

Favourite person: the elderly cafe owner in Albania

Best vista: over Lake Ohrie, Albania

12 May: 0656 - Thiva

The day has arrived, and still, with only 71km to go, I’m not 100% certain I’ll make it to Athens! I guess I will believe it and relax once I walk into the hotel, and ask for my bike box. Having received an overweight charge relating to my box apparently weighing 67kg heavier than the maximum for my shipping cost (which is 27kg and having weighed it before booking, know it’s actually 19kg), I am expecting to find an adult size stowaway inside. So the very first thing I will be doing on receipt is asking a member of staff to hold my phone and video me opening it as evidence to send to UPS, who will otherwise pursue an additional £146 shipping cost. I tell you this as I don’t want you to fall into the same cunning trap.

A fellow cyclist, Steve, currently pedalling through France, shared this lovely insight with me after I’d shared the view of the Aegean Sea af Lamia’s castle. Around 10k from me, I could have by rights, pedalled over, dipped my toe in the water and got aboard the nearest train to Athens. But didn’t! Steve shared this: In Xenophon’s Anabasis when the 10,000 Greek soldiers saw the Mediterranean after there march out of Persia they shouted for joy Thálatta! Thálatta! The sea The Sea! They knew they were home.

I haven’t got that excited yet, but I’ve placed my Sainsbury’s order...Istanbul tomorrow...by plane 😊

The bells have chimed outside, I’ve eaten two cereal bars, a banana and half a pint of milk for breakfast and I will be hauling my knackered, ageing body on to the bike just one more time here, for up to 3 hours...and then it’s done...hopefully! See you in Athens 😃

[betweensceneswriter]

Jimjeran- Chapter 6:  Night Noises

The nights on Arno are really quiet. Until they aren’t.

Audio Book Version of Chapter 6

Click Here to Hop to the Table of Contents

At night in Boston, the sounds we would hear were city sounds: cars and buses, sirens, machinery, and music.  And when he was asleep, but I wasn’t, I would hear Frank’s gentle snore.

     Frank and I still lived in the townhouse we had been able to afford on his teaching salary.  Though we now made more as nurse practitioner and professor than nurse and adjunct, we had worked to pay off school loans, assuming when we married, we’d permanently commit to a home as well as each other.

    It wasn’t an expensive townhouse, and yet it effectively muffled those city sounds with double-paned vinyl windows, venetian blinds and drapes, carpeting to curb echoes, and always a fan or white noise machine to cover up the sound remnants that made it through.

    There was no such barrier on Arno. For one thing, the only source of cooling was the breeze off the iar, so the louvered windows were opened, especially at night, to let the air in. Even when closed, louvers did little to block sound.  

    The first night as I lay in bed, I was struck by the eerie lack of the sounds of civilization.  No cars or public transportation, no music, save for the random child carrying a guitar down the road, nothing in the house powered by electricity—no refrigerator humming, no fan, no pumps or toilets running.  In the silence I started to hear other, softer sounds: the lap of small waves on the lagoon shore, palm and pandanus branches rustled by the wind, the low murmur of my nearest neighbors talking.

    My brain worked to catalogue unfamiliar sounds: the high-pitched whine of a mosquito buzzing around my ears, the random crack and creak of my unfamiliar apartment.

    One strange sound I could not place, though.  It sounded the the chirp of a small bird, and it was coming from the rafters above my bed.  From a similar location, I heard a strange slapping.   It seemed to follow a pattern: Chirp, chirp, cheep, cheep, slap-slap-slap-slap-slap.  

    Finally, my curiosity piqued, I went and turned on the light. It didn’t illuminate the rafters entirely, so I added the beam of my flashlight. When I found the source of the noise, I laughed.  Two huge amber-colored lizards were mating on my rafter.  They would chirp and cheep, sweet talking each other, and then the slapping was caused by their tails beating against the metal roof as they lost themselves in the throes of gecko passion.  

    I turned off the lights, reassuring myself that while they might drop little offerings of poop down (so that’s what I’d found on the table at supper time!) at least they’d be up there catching mosquitoes.

    It had gotten easier to fall asleep in the past week.  The sounds were becoming familiar, and the lapping ocean waves were the best white noise machine I’d ever had.

    I was currently lying in bed trying to think through the events of the past six days. I had flown out with Laura on Sunday, moving my stuff into the apartment and clinic, watching Laura leave, and then cleaning and unpacking.  

    On Monday, I had met Sharbella and done well-child checkups in the morning. In the afternoon I’d had my first emergency case when Jamie had arrived with his corrugated tin boat wound.

    The following night, Tuesday, I had taken food to the Peace Corps boys at the Ine school.  Jamie had walked me home, and I’d made my first friend out here.

    On Wednesday, I had focused on re-organizing and familiarizing myself with everything in the clinic. I spent some time sanitizing the surfaces, and then read up on tropical climate skin ailments and treatments.  That was most of what I saw: people dealing with rashes, boils, burns, cuts and scrapes; and I also noticed that some wounds developed keloid scars, particularly on patients with darker skin.  What I discovered from my research was that while keeping wounds moist in other climates can aid in healing, the level of humidity and the varieties of bacteria in the tropics can actually impede healing.  The general consensus was that you should use an antiseptic, and then something to block bacteria from entering the wound.

    I had stitched up the hand of one man who cut himself with his machete attempting to split coconuts. Sharbella had explained that the one cash crop in Arno was copra—the smoked meat of coconuts, which was processed and made into coconut oil for suntan lotion shampoo, and other toiletries. The men would pick the coconuts, strip off the husks, split the shells by holding them in one hand and giving them a sharp blow with the blade of their machetes, and then stacking them on the smoking trays.  This man had gotten distracted, the blade had slipped, and he had a deep cut in the pad of his thumb.

    On Thursday Plu Rose had brought Sinana back because the boil had come to a head from the daily salt compresses. I lanced the boil as close to her hairline as possible, drained it, and then applied a sterile dressing with a warning not get it dirty or wet.

    Jamie had also stopped in on Thursday for a new bandage. He had worried that the wound was seeping clear fluid and wanted to make sure it wasn’t infected.  The wound seemed to be progressing nicely, but Jamie was a little bummed to be banned from swimming for another three days.

    But now it was finally Friday night, and after an exhausting week, I was looking forward to not having clinic hours on Saturday—of being able to sleep in, explore the island, brainstorm some better meals, and possibly do my laundry. I was feeling a little anxious about that process, having never done laundry completely by hand before.  I had the big round red tub, the washboard, and the scrub brush, plus a laundry line and clothes pins for drying everything.  I would need to draw water from the well, and then it would just be an investment of time.

    I had fallen into bed mentally and physically exhausted, with the sweet sense of anticipation knowing I would get rest and relaxation the next day.  I was almost asleep when I heard a new sound, one that instantly made my heart rate increase and my muscles tense. Outside the window right next to my bed I heard quiet footfalls and a rustling sound.

    And then I heard singing.  Sort of.  It was a tune so distinct, I could plunk it out on a piano if I needed to.  It was in a sweet voice, singing a sweet tune, but it made me feel more like I was hearing the haunting little kid voice singing a nursery rhyme in a horror movie trailer.

    “Miss Peachay, I want to talk to you,” sang a heavily accented male voice.  “Miss Peachay, I want to talk to you…”   I froze in my bed, the throb of panic in my chest, breathing shallowly.

    A voice came closer, nearly in my ear, just speaking this time, softly, enticingly.  “Miss Peachay, do you want to go to shungle with me?”

    Go?  To the jungle?  I lay in my bed, petrified.  

    “Miss Peachay! Que lukuun likatu!”

    “Miss Peachay! Que konaan bwebwenato?”

    My troubadour began serenading me again.  “Miss Peachay, I want to talk to you…Miss Peachay, I want to talk to you.”

     I didn’t want to say anything.  What could I say?  Go away?  I don’t want to go to the jungle with you?

    I was about to announce that I had no intention of talking to them or going to the ‘shungle’ with them when I heard another voice.  A deep, resonant Scottish brogue, hearty, confident, and calm, speaking fluent Marshallese.

     “Enana kaiṇṇe, Abner.  Miss Peachay ejab kōṇaan etal ippām.  Ta ṇe kwōj jerbale, Samson?  Quejjooko ñe ej kadek.”

    The other men answered, talking back and forth.  I heard all of the voices retreating, traveling farther and farther down the road toward the Peace Corps school, and then it was silent.  I listened to see if Jamie was coming back, but I heard nothing.  I couldn’t understand why I was disappointed.  I had already gone to bed.  I hadn’t wanted the company of the men outside my window.  Why would I want Jamie?

    I was just relaxing, on the edge of slumber, when I heard a different noise.  The crunch of gravel, then rubber slapping on wood, paired with a creaking sound.  Flip-flops?  On my steps?  A long moment of silence, then a creak and a rattling sound.  Someone was on my doorstep, and he was trying to turn my doorknob.  I was almost certain the door was locked.  I knew I’d locked it when I came in from going to the bathroom before bed.  Hadn’t I?  Frantically, I thought over everything I owned.  Did I have anything in here that would be a good weapon?  Sundresses, shoes, a towel?  A book.  A frying pan!

    I sat up in bed, ready to run if I needed to.  Where would I go?  Could I run a mile to the Peace Corp school?  I threw my feet over the side of the bed and crept across the floor, scrabbling for my zories at the door.  I was panting, nearly hyperventilating.  “I can’t run in flip-flops!”  I whimpered to myself, not realizing I’d actually spoken out loud.

     “Ripālle?”  The deep voice came through the door.  “Claire, is that you?”

     “Jamie?!!  Dammit, Jamie!”  I exclaimed, opening the door.  “You gave me a freakin’ heart attack!”

     “Sorry, lass,” he chuckled, stepping away from the door.  “I escorted yer drunk friends away, but thought I should check your door to make sure it was locked in case any of them tried to bother ye again tonight.  I thought ye were asleep, and I didna want to bother you.”

     “I’m quite awake,” I said, looking around.  “Do you want to come in?”

     “Sorry, Ripālle,” he said. “I think ye should close the door.”

     I moved to come outside, and he shook his head.  “No, Claire.  Wi’ you on the inside, and me on the outside.”

     “What?”  I asked.

     “I dinna want the island men to get the idea that if they just stick around longer that they’ll get invited in.”  He reached for the door knob and started to pull the door closed.

     “But Jamie, my heart is still pounding.  I’m not going to be able to go to sleep.”

     “Ye dinna need to be afraid.  I’ll make sure you’re safe,” he said reassuringly, as he inched the door the rest of the way closed.  “I’mna going home yet. I will sit on yer doorstep awhile ‘til I’m sure they won’t come back. ”

    I stood inside my apartment with the door closed in front of me for a frustrated second, and then I turned around, leaned against the door and slid down until I was sitting with my back against it.

     “Why were they here?  What did they want?” I asked.  For a moment I wondered whether he’d be able to hear me, but quickly realized the door was hollow faux wood, with a gap at the bottom—and the two louvered windows to either side were completely open to the night air.

     “What did they say?” Jamie asked.  The door moved slightly against my back as he sat down on the other side.    

     “They said they wanted to talk to me or go to the jungle with me,” I said.  “They asked nice, but it freaked me out.”

     “Both mean about the same thing…” Jamie said. “And I’m sure you can guess what that is.”  I could guess, and I could also feel the door vibrate from his husky voice.

     “What did you say to them?” I asked.

     “Dinna remember, really.  That what they were doing wasn’t good.  That you didn’t want to go with them.  And I told them they make poor choices when they’re drunk.”

     “They were drunk?” I asked.

     “Most definitely,” said Jamie.  “They wouldna be bothering ye if they were sober.  Abner and Samson are decent enough men.  They came stumbling by our house and told Rupert they were going to visit ye.  I didna want to confront them if they decided better, so I walked along the beach, matched their pace, and came out here when it was obvious they werena leaving ye alone.

     “Thank you,” I said. “That was weird.  I hope that doesn’t happen again.”

     “Well,” said Jamie, slowly.  “I canna promise that.  I’m surprised Laura didna mention the nighttime visitors.”

     “That happens a lot?” I asked, stunned.  “What do I do next time, when you aren’t here to send them away?”

     “Do ye want to learn some Majol?” Jamie asked.

     “Okay,” I responded agreeably.

     “What do ye ken already?”

     “I know ‘eh jab ma lay lay,’” I said.

     “Okay.  ‘I don’t understand.’ That’s helpful, but not here.  What else?”

     “Um.  Kway shu tal non yah!”

     “Hmmm.  Excellent, if you want to ask them where they’re going, though they already announced they would like to go to the jungle,” he laughed.

     “Okay, then what should I say?” I asked.

     “Ejab kōṇaan is pretty easy,” Jamie said.  “That means ‘I don’t want.”

     “Eh jab coe non,” I repeated.

     “Kwō etal wōt means ‘you should go away.’”

     “Quo eh tal watt.”

     “Good,” Jamie said.  “But you should say something, even if you say it in English.  They’re kind of persistent.”

     “So, let me get this straight.  I can’t walk alone at night, though now I’m pretty sure I don’t want to, but guys can just come to my house and try to seduce me through the window?

     “Or door,” said Jamie.  The door shook; I could feel him laugh.  “I’m just joking, Ripālle,” he murmured.

     “You called me that again,” I said.  “Isn’t that the word that means selfish white person?”

     “Aye, Ripālle.”

     “Rrrri pol´-lay?” I repeated.  “You’re really going to call me selfish white person?”

     “I dinna mean it that way,” he said.  “And are ye saying ye arna one?”

     I scoffed.  “Well, maybe I am, but why call me that?”

     “It’s a pretty word. I get to roll an ‘r’ at the beginning.”

     I laughed from a sudden realization.  “That’s why you Scots feel so at home in the Marshall Islands,” I said.  “You’re the only two cultures I know that roll their ‘r’s’ so often!”

     I heard a huge yawn from outside.  “Well, Ripālle,” he said.  “I’m tired.  What are ye doing tomorrow?”

    “Laundry, I think,” I said, his yawn contagiously spreading to me.  “And you?”

     “Can I come visit ye in the light?” he asked.

     “That’d be nice,” I said.  “Goodnight, Jamie.”

     “Goodnight, Claire.”  I got up from the floor, and listened to the sound of Jamie’s flip-flops crunching in the gravel, my young protector heading home.

Young Geckos in Love

On to Chapter 7 : Dirty Laundry

Jamie and Claire get better acquainted