#i need to do my schoolwork now so goodbye

[stewieonxbox360]

2 arts plus some doodles

[suhlogic]

cold sweat [kim mingyu x fem!oc]

warnings: fwb, sexual tension, size kink, creampie, manhandling, daddy kink, overstimulation, mingyu is really touchy, dom!mingyu, sub!reader, fingering, unprotected sex , porn with little plot , body worship, pussy-eating, car sex , a bit of a self-indulgent fic

you and mingyu have been friends since your senior year of high school. the two of you were as thick as thieves, it didn’t matter if there was the risk of being separated in college— you two would always find each other during holidays and summer breaks in your hometown. but there was just one problem: you were falling hard and fast for the one and only kim mingyu. your mingyu who’s six feet and two inches tall of pure happiness and sweet disposition, the one who’d drop everything for you whenever you’re down, the person who was always cheering you on, and not to mention how handsome he is with his tan skin and prominently defined arms with his toned back as wide as the pacific ocean and those toned abs— but god, his smile and his contagious laugh that you could just constantly put on repeat no matter what time of day it is has you secretly pining away for your best friend. 

being physically intimate with him was not an uncharted territory  for the two of you, it just sort of happened one time when he came home drunk to your place and stumbled on your bed falling into a deep slumber as he cuddled you close in his hazy state. but you two never really brought up that night ever again, it did not matter if you two were sober or not, one of you would always offer cuddles and maybe a few stolen kisses in between especially when the both of you were stressed over schoolwork. it didn’t take that long for you to notice that mingyu was initiating them more often but repressed the thought that he could actually like you because you were just silly old you— always the best friend, never the girlfriend. but, little did you know, he fell first for you. of course he’d never admit that for the sake of protecting the friendship.

[10:00PM]

it was already late at night and you couldn’t stop tossing and turning in your bed so you decided to get up and shower to get ready for the 24/7 gym just near your apartment complex. after getting your things prepared, you decided to ring up mingyu to join you on your workout—or as he calls it, “gymscapade” for when you both get so stressed you need to work out a sweat. he picks up after two rings, voice clearly woken up from a deep slumber. “hey, what’s up?” he replies, “would you wanna go workout with me right now?” you ask, hoping he’s not too lazy in the confines of his bed on the other line.  “yeah, just let me get ready in a bit. call you soon when i’m there.” he says with a yawn. “okay, just meet me at the gym near my place just so i can get a good warmup.” you say as the both of you exchange your goodbyes. 

you make it to the gym not long after and decided to unzip your jacket halfway through your warmup. you were actually the only one in the gym since it was already quite late. while working up a sweat on the lat pulldown machine, you saw mingyu from the corner of your eye entering wearing  grey sweatpants and a compression tank top. he starts to warm up for a bit as you went to where he was, “what are you going to do today?” he asked, stretching out his arms. “i’ll just do a few upper and lower body workouts, maybe squeeze in some lifting too,” you say, as you take a sip from your water bottle. it never really struck you how handsome mingyu was until as of late, it just wasn’t in the books for the two of you to actually get together or even fuck at the very least but knowing how tiny and short you were compared to his huge, tall frame made you run a bit hot and wet down there. 

“care to spot me while i do bench presses?” he says as he takes off the dumbbells from the racks. you could barely lift what he pressed, it’s almost all-consuming seeing mingyu lay on the bench while you looked down at him as he lifted and praising him every time he’d do it. this position was not good for your health, all you could ever think about was him eating you out whenever he would moan out of exertion. you still had a few sets on the lat pulldown machine to go and asked him to spot you, to help you with your form since he was going to the gym longer than you have been. 

mingyu couldn’t stop looking at you. your hair up in a messy ponytail, wearing a cute workout set with just a pastel pink sports bra with tight-fitting compression shorts of the same color. you were so oblivious yet fucking obvious about how bad you wanted your friend to fuck you and he saw right through it. the way your skin would suddenly feel warm under his touch or how you’d hide the hitches in your breath whenever he was too close to you while he observes your workouts. as you were doing your set, he was behind you closing the gap between you two as he made sure you were feeling the burn in all the targeted muscles. as he lowered down to your level on the seat, your back brushed against his crotch and felt something huge and hard. “good girl, just one more and you’re done.” he whispered lowly in your ear as you exhaled when you let go of the bar in an upwards motion. 

as the two of you were helping each other finish workouts, he couldn’t help but gaze into your eyes with a hidden intent and leaned in for a kiss which made you set your dumbbells down on the floor with a loud thud booming through the room. it took you aback and you pulled away from the kiss, mingyu was shocked at your action and stared at you with wide eyes. “i’m sorry i couldn’t help it ever since that night i never stopped thinking about you.” he says, as you pulled him in closer and kissed him harder as your tongues became entangled. “jump,” he whispers as he starts to carry you. fuck, it was really hot seeing him take the lead and it made you weaker for him than ever before. he puts you down before you could even leave hickeys on his neck, “y/n, i’m not going to fuck you here, let me be a gentleman and take you back to my place,” he says with a mischievous smile, lips red and swollen from the steamy makeup session. 

both of you grabbed your things and went inside his car, the tension was hot and heavy as his hand were rubbing your thigh further riling you up while he drove through the quiet streets of the city with you weak and submissive under his touch.    it was something that set your insides on fire— seeing mingyu’s hand veins pop out from gripping the steering wheel hard resisting himself from pulling over and fucking you in the nearest empty parking lot he could find. as soon as the stoplight turned red, he looked over at you with a menacing smirk. “god, you just look so pretty and desperate for me, huh?”

you couldn’t help but be more turned on as you felt your core get wetter just because of his words and before you knew it, he was taking off your seatbelt for you and leaning in for a desperate kiss with his tongue exploring your mouth as if he had been waiting for this moment. “go in the backseat, now” he said in between breaths while still cupping your face, his usual kind and bright eyes, now filled with lust and a dominating gaze desperately telling you how bad he wanted this. as you made your way into the back, he followed suit and did not waste time taking off your bra showing off your huge boobs, its buds already hardened from the cold air. he smirked as you whined at how he took your nipples between his fingers and played with them, mingyu then sat you on his lap and felt his manhood through his sweatpants as you were just only left in your tight shorts that were clearly thin. “princess, you look so pretty like this. all naked and wet for daddy, huh?” he whispered as you began to grind your clothed pussy on his hard dick, just more wanting more from him. craving mingyu like he was the kind of drug you needed, so intoxicating yet so worth the risk. 

with lust-filled eyes, mingyu looked up at you and pulled you in for a rough kiss, tongues tied with one another. as he pulled away once more, he started to leave love bites all over your neck and chest not giving a fuck who sees it— all he knows is that you're his by day's end. his rough hands began to roam your body and unclasped your bra skillfully letting your huge tits be free. his mouth immediately latched onto your tit while his fingers began to rub the nipple in between the other one.

"fuck, daddy please i wanna feel you inside," you moaned. he just smirked as he began to flip you onto the backseat so he'd be on top of you. "patience, angel, good girls get to cum." he whispers through gritted teeth, grinding his hard cock on your pussy, still clothed yet the thong you wore hardly doing anything to cover the wetness. as mingyu goes down on you to take off your underwear, he leaves kisses on your stomach and hips, "god, you look so gorgeous fucked out for me, why didn't we fuck sooner?" he moans in between kisses. he inserts two of his fingers inside your dripping pussy, "so fucking tight for me, yeah, can't wait for my dick to be inside hm?"  he says as you could  just lose all sense of rationality with how good he is with his fingers. he then lowers his head down in between your thighs and eats you out, licking your clit as if he's a starved man. 

"daddy, please i'm so fucking close," you whine, tears of pleasure filling your eyes. mingyu proceeds to insert three of his fingers and fucked you faster with it, his long and thick digits began to curl inside, "you like being a slut for me yeah? who fucking owns you?" he moans, "you daddy, please.. gyu.. .more," you say as he coaxes you into your first orgasm. he takes out his fingers, your cum coating his fingers as he proudly licks and sucks them off with pride with a devilish smirk. "you taste so sweet, angel... " he says as you begin to claw at the waistband of his  sweatpants, desperate to feel his dick inside you. he smirks at how helpless you look and removes his bottoms along with his boxers, his hard, long dick standing in its full glory slapping against his chiseled abs,  as its girth makes you wonder how it could fit inside of you.

"will it fit, gyu?" you ask in a small voice. "oh, we'll make it fit, princess, i've prepped you enough yeah?" he begins to jack off his dick preparing to put it inside. "fuck, you look so small for me, all for me..so pretty spread out like this," he moans as he teases the tip of his dick in between your folds and slowly thrusts it inside of you. "fuck...my god gyu so fucking good, please...move," you whine as he begins to slowly move inside of you taking his sweet time to be inside of you. god knows how fucking long he waited to have you like this, you just looked so angelic and slutty under him, it took everything in him to not fill you to the brim with his cum right there. his hands tightly gripped your waist as he pounded into you faster, feeling how big he is inside, hitting the tip of your cervix. you put your arms around the nape of his neck as you pull him in for a passionate kiss, hands roaming around his toned upper back leaving scratches on it as your nails dig into its broad surface. 

you feel his thrusts get faster and deeper as he began to rub your clit helping you to also reach your second orgasm, "i'm fucking close baby, " he moans as his thrusts get sloppier. "cum..inside..me..it's okay,'m on the pill daddy"you whine out as you two feel each other's release, his cum mixed with yours dripping down your thighs. mingyu pulled out as he reached into the glovebox compartment for a box of tissue helping you clean up. "fuck...what just happened?" he asks, giggling. "we fucked," you laugh as he pulls you closer to him in the tight space with the steam-filled windows from the sex earlier. "so...i like you..a fucking lot," he starts as he begins to intertwine his fingers with yours and kisses your forehead, "yeah, i do too gyu," you smile as you pull him in closer for another kiss, this time full of love and gentleness. "let's go home and finish what we started, yeah?" he says while you two begin to get dressed up and drive back to his place for the night. 

[asahicore]

real me, real you - psh

pairing. sunghoon x fem!reader (ft. jay... sorry)

synopsis. You’re your school’s popular pretty smart girl, but with a twist - you lead a completely different life at home, where you are messy, lazy and foul-mouthed. Only your family and best friend Sumin know about this, until Park Sunghoon, of all people, finds out. The resident cold and arrogant heartbreaker of your school decides to blackmail you into doing his biddings - but you can’t say no, not even when he asks you to be his fake girlfriend, otherwise he’ll ruin your reputation. But as you and Sunghoon get closer, you realize that maybe he’s not so bad after all, and you may be more similar than you'd originally though - all while your old childhood friend Jay watches from the sidelines.

genre. fake dating, high school au, very slight love triangle action, fluff and angst

warnings. this is the first thing i ever wrote so there may be slightly cringe and awkward things but i didn't wanna change anything lol, hoon is a meanie at some point and everything is dramatic and very fanfic-y, mild childhood trauma for both of them <3

word count. 22.9k

author's note. @end-hyphen genie this one is for you... i hope you still like this fic after all this time lol ! as i said in the warnings i only changed a few typos and punctuation from the original but i decided to not make any major changes bc i think it's nice to see what my writing was like when i had just started out!! hopefully i've improved lol, also this was not inspired by true beauty!! i've never seen the show nor read the webtoon. i was inspired by two mangas called switch girl and kare kano (or his and her circumstances) which have this plot of a girl being two different people at school and at home. anyways hope u guys enjoy this and if u do pls lmk <333

Nobody was supposed to find out.

You were the most popular girl in school, known for your looks, good grades, and kind personality. You had a nice group of friends and the whole school at your feet, students and staff alike. As the student representative, you had an image to keep up and needed everyone to think you were perfect; and they did. So you always wore a smile on your face, kept your head up and made sure your uniform was creaseless, all while maintaining the highest scores in your year. Always being friendly to your peers and helping them out prevented anyone from thinking you were a stuck-up goody-two-shoes. You made high school look like a breeze.

But such a life didn’t exist. Who was happy waking up at 6 a.m. every day and dedicating all of their time to schoolwork and student life? You certainly weren’t. What you thrived off of was having everyone think you were. Hearing whispers in the corridor of, “She’s so pulled together!” or “I wish I had her life”, now, those skyrocketed you to heaven. The cherry on top was a nod of approval from a teacher or an “outstanding job again, Y/N” as they handed you back your graded paper. Your favorite color had become the red of the pens your teachers used to write A+ at the top of the page. 

You’d always been academically gifted, but as you heard those words more and more, you’d started craving them and doing everything to hear them again until they started controlling you instead of the other way around. Everything you did needed to be perfect. And that was how you had created this persona of the perfect girl who had it all together at the ripe age of 17. But that’s exactly what it was; a persona. 

As soon as you stepped off the bus and waved goodbye to your friends, you became another person. Or more accurately, you reverted back to your natural self. You weren’t an evil person by any means; it wasn’t your intention to actively deceive everyone at school, it was more of a side effect of keeping up appearances. Only your family and your closest friend Sumin knew what you were truly like: greedy, messy, short-tempered, self-centered, and sometimes downright insufferable. Your younger siblings, Sunoo and Yeeun, liked to joke that you had a button you switched on and off whenever you left the house. When on, you were the sweetest girl ever, but when off, all your vices crept up and let themselves known to the world, or rather to your family. You didn’t mean to make them suffer, but after a long day of being perfect, you needed to blow off some steam; if they had to be your metaphorical punching bag, so be it. 

When Sunoo entered high school, you made him swear he wouldn’t say a thing to anyone. You trusted him and knew he wouldn’t let your secret out - it was too entertaining for him to see you act perfect at school and reveal your true self at home. There was no risk of anyone finding out - you were so intent on keeping the act up that nothing ever slipped you. It had been that way since middle school, and your senior year of high school was going to be no different.

Nobody was supposed to find out, so what was Park Sunghoon doing right in front of you in the frozen aisle of the corner convenience store, just when you happened to be bare-faced, with thick glasses on and a pimple bright red from just having been popped, in your comfiest pajamas, and a tub of Ben & Jerry’s in hand?

“Kim Y/N? Y/N, is that you?”

You froze in place, not knowing how to react. There was no way this, your worst nightmare, was actually happening.

When you regained your senses, flight seemed the best way out of this. You avoided Sunghoon’s curious gaze and curtly replied, “No, sorry, I don’t know who that is,” before walking away, iron grip on the ice cream.

But the boy was quicker than you and grabbed you by the wrist, forcing you to turn around. “It is you! Come on, Y/N, aren’t we friends? Do you not recognize me or something?”

If it wasn’t for the panic coursing through your veins at that moment, you might’ve laughed at his question. How could you not recognize the Park Sunghoon? Along with Park Jongseong and Sim Jaeyun, or Jay and Jake as they liked to be called, he was only the most popular guy in your year - hell, in the whole school. The three of them had gained attention from freshman year as the three handsome soccer players. Jake and Sunghoon had been attached at the hip since kindergarten, Jay joining them sometime in middle school when he came back from his year abroad in Seattle. 

Your parents and Jay’s had been college best friends and you two had therefore grown up together, and even used to be quite close. You’d grown apart when he joined Jake and Sunghoon’s friend group, and although you still got on well, there was always a bit of an awkward atmosphere when you caught up with each other.

The three friends had quite different personalities but their complicity and shared history made them stick together. Jake was known for his academic achievements, rivaling yours, and his friendly personality; Jay, for his surprisingly funny antics once you got past the somewhat menacing appearance (which he blames on his resting bitch face). Sunghoon, on the other hand, was as cold as ice, so much that he’d earned the nickname of ice prince, but girls continued to swoon over him due to his incredibly handsome features. When turning down girls, Jake and Jay always tried to let them down gently, but Sunghoon wasn’t one to hold back: he’d laugh in their face or straight up say no, staring them right in the eyes. Most confessions ended in tears (not his, obviously), but girls kept on testing their luck, thinking they might be the one to melt the ice prince’s cold, dead heart.

Clearly, you weren’t Sunghoon’s biggest fan.

His behavior had always made you wonder why Jay and Jake were friends with a person like him. They went back a long time, but how did Sunghoon not become a nice and approachable person like his two best friends? They both seemed so genuine, but he looked like he was hiding something. This was what had made you weary of him; you knew all too well how easily an image that was the opposite of reality could be created. So on one hand, you sort of felt for him, thinking he might be in a similar situation as you. But on the other hand, you couldn’t help but feel some kind of jealousy: if you acted the way he did, you wouldn’t receive half the admiration you did. Hell, you’d probably be hated for it - no one likes a girl that’s both successful and bitchy about it. 

One thing was sure, though, and that was that you wouldn’t call the two of you friends, as he just had.

“Y/N? You okay?”

The pure panic in your eyes must’ve made Sunghoon realize something was wrong. He released you and looked you up and down, trying to take your appearance in. The Y/N he was seeing right then was worlds away from the one he was accustomed to at school. 

You realized there was no ignoring him, so you collected yourself and faced Sunghoon. “Uh, yeah, hi, Sunghoon. Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting to see anyone I knew here.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, no wonder. You look quite… different from what you usually do,” he said, voice laced with sarcasm.

This whole situation got you dumbfounded. You usually knew exactly what to retort when somebody messed with you, your friend or a classmate, but this time, you were completely speechless. You just wanted to escape.

“Well, it was nice seeing you Sunghoon, but I need to get home.” You pivoted on your heels and started walking again, but Sunghoon had other plans.

“Aw, come on, so quickly? We barely got to chat!” He followed you through the aisles as you picked up the remaining ingredients on the list your mother had given you as quickly as you could.

“I didn’t know you needed glasses. Do you wear lenses at school?”

“Yes. I need them to see.”

“I figured.” You could hear the smirk in his voice, and your shock was slowly morphing into anger. Were teenage girls so blind that they’d have a crush on someone with such an abominable personality, no matter how angelic his face was? 

“I really like your outfit, by the way. Looks super comfy.” And as if your embarrassment couldn’t grow any bigger, he added: “Too bad you got a stain on the shirt.”

You looked down at yourself and noticed a huge grease stain on the collar of your shirt. Admittedly, you didn’t always have the best table manners. 

You swore under your breath. It was quiet for a couple minutes as you arrived at the register and paid for your items, Sunghoon still on your tail. He had apparently given up his purchases to focus solely on tormenting you. When you walked out of the store, you thought he might finally be done. But of course, he wasn’t.

“You know, my sister has this really effective pimple cream she uses. Do you want me to ask her what brand it is?”

That was it. You sighed deeply. “Alright, Park. What do you want?”

When you turned to face him fully, arms crossing over your chest and an obviously tired expression on your face, the mischievous glint in his eyes made you realize something. That idiot was enjoying this. 

Indeed, he beamed down at you. You had probably never seen him smiling so widely. “Wow, Y/N, didn’t know you could have such an attitude.”

You stayed silent and continued staring at him, waiting for an answer. He mirrored your pose, out of instinct or to irritate you, you weren’t sure.

“You know, when I moved to this neighborhood before the start of school, I was definitely not expecting to see Perfect Miss Y/N out in her pajamas buying ice cream. I thought you were more into, I don’t know, rescuing puppies from fires or something. That sounds like something you’d do in your free time.”

“Well, is there anything wrong with what I’m doing?”

“Oh, absolutely not! Just a surprising sight. Makes me wonder what the rest of the school would say…” He looked intently at you, clearly waiting for a reaction. You weren’t about to give him one, though.

You chuckled and rolled your eyes, shifting your weight on your right foot. “Yeah, like anyone would believe you if you said you saw me looking anything else other than perfect.” It might’ve sounded arrogant, but that was the image people had of you. Even your friends asked you how you did it - if only they knew the truth.

At that, his smile got even brighter. “Don’t worry about that, I won’t need to tell anyone. I’ll just show them!” He pulled out his phone, showing you a picture of you in your god-awful pajamas searching for your favorite flavor of ice cream.

He watched as your face fell, taking your silence as an opportunity to go on. “You were so engrossed in the tubs of ice cream that you didn’t notice a dashingly handsome and tall young man very obviously taking pictures of you.”

This put you into panic mode again. It might have seemed foolish, but you hadn’t worked for years to create a perfect version of yourself only for a stupid boy to destroy it all with one picture. 

You sighed and lowered your head, taking a moment to think. You didn’t know Sunghoon that well, but you didn’t put it past him to send that picture to everyone and ruin your image in the process. You opted for honesty instead of bluff. You took your glasses off and looked back up at him; even if you couldn’t see him as well without them, maybe he’d see the despair in your eyes better.

“Park. I mean, Sunghoon. You can’t show that picture to anyone, okay? You have no idea how bad I need to keep up appearances. It’s really important to me, so just delete the picture and let’s never talk about this again, yeah?”

You tried smiling at him, but his expression infuriated you. You could tell he had something else up his sleeve. “Now, Y/N, why would I do that? If I’m gonna do something for you, you should do something for me.”

You weren’t sure if you wanted to hear the rest of his thoughts, but you needed to know. Eyeing him suspiciously, you told him to go on.

“Well, I can’t think of anything right now, but I’ll let you know when I do, okay? I’ll see you around, Y/N.” He flashed another one of his smiles, patted your head, and walked away, just like that, leaving you standing outside the convenience store on your own, a melting tub of ice cream in your plastic bag. At least for now, you were safe.

Right?

—

“You saw Park Sunghoon? As in, the Park Sunghoon?” your little sister Yeeun asked, looking at you with huge eyes. You two and Sunoo were sitting on your bed, sharing the ice cream by eating it directly from the tub.

“Yes, that’s literally what I’ve been saying this whole time. How do you know him anyway? You’re still in middle school…”

“Are you crazy? He’s famous in our whole school district! I wish we had cute boys in my school as well,” she sulked, pouting.

“That’s not the point, Yeeun,” Sunoo chimed in, then turned to you. “Well, this is either bad news or the start of a beautiful romance.”

“Sunoo! Take this seriously! I’m in a huge dilemma right now.”

Your siblings shared a knowing glance and snickered.

“Hey! I’m right here. I’m not overreacting, you know. If he does send those pictures around, I’m done for.”

“Oh, come on, Y/N, you’d be so much better off if you could be yourself at school. I see you there almost everyday, and the way you laugh always sounds so fake. Nobody would care if you forgot to put makeup on one day or had a crease in your shirt. If anything, it’d make you look more human.”

You could see where Sunoo was coming from, but you chose to ignore it. You sighed deeply. “You guys just don’t get it. They all see me as this perfect, put-together girl. If I showed them even a glimpse of the truth, everything would shatter. It’s too late to go back now.” You ignored their pitying looks and took another big spoonful of ice cream.

It was their turn to sigh. As always, it was impossible to reason with you. Deep in your thoughts, you added: “You know, there was something really off about him today. I’d never seen him act that way before.”

Your siblings looked at you questioningly. “He’s always so cold and distant towards everyone. I’ve only seen him smile when he’s laughing with Jake and Jay or when he makes fun of someone. But just now, he kept smiling at me like he was having fun. He even patted my head when he left.”

At that, Yeeun swooned dramatically, hands over her heart. You looked over at her and said, “I’d be swooning too if it was any other guy than Park Sunghoon. I’m more confused than anything right now, he was a completely different person from when I see him at school.”

They exchanged another look. “You guys stop doing that!”

“Well, it’s just that that sounds an awful lot like someone I know,” Sunoo replied. Realization hit you and you scoffed, mildly offended. At least you were nice to others at school and didn’t act like an asshole with a superiority complex.

“Anyway,” he continued, “what will you do about Sunghoon?”

“I’m not too sure. I guess all I can do is wait and see whatever it is he could want from me.”

“Yeah, do that, and then date him, please. If I can’t have him as my boyfriend, then I’ll have him as my brother-in-law,” Yeeun joked. You didn’t have it in you to retort anything back and started laughing along with her. 

If everything did shatter, at least you’d have your siblings to make you laugh.

— 

The next day, you made your way to the bus stop after your daily morning routine: jogging, showering, eating a filling breakfast, choosing the perfect accessories for your school uniform, applying just the right amount of makeup and going over your subjects and tasks of the day. As always, efficiency is the key. You had become so used to this routine that your body did it on its own, which let your mind wander wherever it pleased. Usually, you’d use this time to prepare yourself for the day ahead, but today, the only thing on your mind was Park Sunghoon. What was that boy up to? Was he up to anything, or did you completely imagine his mischievousness yesterday? In any case, you hoped it would all be over soon. 

You got on the bus and sat down next to Sumin. Your close friend group at school consisted of her, Park Sieun, Lee Heeseung and Choi Jiung, but she was the only one who knew about your secret. You had been friends for so long that you hadn’t even been able to hide it: she’d seen you from all angles, both before, during and after your transformation to who you were now. It was nice having someone else than your siblings to rely on and tell everything to. 

“Minie, you’ll never guess what happened yesterday. I ran into Park Sunghoon at the convenience store next to our apartment unit.”

She raised her eyebrows in surprise, but her reaction wasn’t as big as you thought it’d be. She smiled and said, “Huh! I knew he’d moved to our neighborhood, but I wouldn’t have thought he’d live so close to you that you’d even shop at the same place.”

She registered your confused expression and continued. “Didn’t you hear? He moved out of his parents’ house at the end of summer. Something about a huge fight with them that made him move out. But there are always so many rumors about him and his group that I don’t know what to believe.”

“Oh,” you mumbled, unsure what to say. Now that you thought about it, Sunghoon had mentioned moving in your conversation yesterday, but you were so preoccupied with him seeing you in your wild state that you hadn’t paid much attention to his comment.

“Wait, did he do something? Your face is telling me he did something.”

You got closer to her face and gestured for her to do the same. With lowered heads and in hushed tones, you said, “He saw me on off-mode.”

She gasped and jolted back in surprise, eyes wide and eyebrows shooting straight up. “What?”

You shushed her and pulled her in by her shoulders. “He even took pictures.” Your grip tight, you held her from jumping again. “That’s not even it. You know how he's always really cold and distant?”

“You mean how he’s always being a douchebag?” She scoffed. “Yeah, I know.”

You remembered that Sumin had been one of the first of many girls who shot their shot with Park Sunghoon, only to get rejected. You both grimaced at the memory that always left a bad taste in your mouth.

“He was completely different yesterday. Kept following me around the store and, I’m not sure, teasing me? Like trying to get a reaction out of me? In a weird half-friendly half-bully way.”

“Hm, you’re right, that doesn’t sound like him,” she mused. “It does sound like a stupid teenage boy though, which I guess he is, no matter how hard he tries to pretend he’s not.”

This is what you loved about Sumin. She could see right through people, and never hesitated to say what she thought of them, especially when they acted the way Sunghoon did. Sure, there were some personal feelings attached there, but she had quickly gotten over them when she realized how much of a douche he was towards everyone else.

When the bus stopped to pick up some more students, Heeseung hopped on. You quickly told Sumin to keep it a secret, at which she smiled and made a motion as if zipping her lips and throwing the key. If you told your friends about Sunghoon, you’d have to tell them the truth about how he had dirt on you, but you wanted to keep your friendship clean. You chatted the rest of the bus ride away and tried not to worry over Park Sunghoon too much.

When you finally got to school, you, Heeseung, and Sumin made your way to your classroom to join Jiung and Sieun. Before you could get there, however, Jungwon, an underclassman you had talked to a couple times for student council meetings, called out your name. You told your friends to go on without you and turned to the younger boy.

“Jungwon! Hi, what’s up?”

He seemed flattered that you had remembered his name but quickly got on with his business. “Um, I’m not sure why, but Sunghoon told me to come and get you? I’ve never talked to him, I think he just picked me randomly and assigned me a task…”

You sighed. Park Sunghoon truly was something. “Thanks for telling me, Jungwon. I’ll make sure he gets an earful for this, he has no right to boss students around like that.”

Jungwon’s eyes doubled in size as he frantically waved his hands in dismissal. “No! No need to do that, I don’t want to get in trouble with him. I’m just here to relay the message.” At that, he scurried off, and you headed towards Sunghoon’s homeroom. 

When you walked in, a few people were in the room, some girls gossiping with each other, a couple students doing some last-minute revision for a test. You found Sunghoon sitting at his desk, snickering with Jay and Jake and hoped that the subject of their laughter wasn’t you. They noticed you approaching and the two decent boys greeted you; the other one eyed you, that mischievous glint back in his eyes. What could he possibly have in mind?

“Hi, guys.” You smiled at Jay and Jake and reflexively stood closer to Jay. “Sunghoon, Jungwon said you wanted to see me?” you asked, trying to keep your impatience at bay.

“Oh, was that his name? Well, thank heavens for him, ‘cause I forgot my lunch at home. Would you be a sweetheart and go buy me something at the cafeteria? You know how everything runs out as soon as lunch period starts, and I get really cranky when I’m hungry.”

You stared at him, wide-eyed. His two friends’ reaction wasn’t very different from yours. Go buy him lunch? That’s what he wanted you to do?

“What? You don’t want to? That’s too bad, cause there’s a picture I think everybo-”

You cut him off before he could finish. “No! Of course I’ll do it! Can’t have our star player go hungry, now can we?” You cringed at your own words and Jay eyed you suspiciously. Sunghoon beamed, and Jake’s eyes darted back and forth between the two of you in pure confusion. “Um, any preferences?”

His smile got wider. “A tuna mayo would be amazing. Thanks, Y/N! You’re the best!”

“Sure…” you mumbled and quickly walked away, more bemused than ever. You checked your watch. You had 10 minutes before the first bell rang, and you could not be late for class, which meant you needed to hurry. 

You got back to Sunghoon’s classroom just a minute before the first bell. To your dismay, the class was almost full, and girls had gathered around him, trying to get his attention, but he seemed unbothered by their presence. You braced yourself and walked towards him. As your presence rarely went by unnoticed, most eyes were on you and Sunghoon. Not only were you two some of the most popular kids in school, you also happened to be handing him his lunch, a never-seen-before sight between the two of you. 

“I also got you banana milk, for good measure…” 

What had seemed like a great idea a few minutes ago, something to appease the devil in him, now felt like the biggest mistake of your life. The girls around him started whispering left and right and you weren’t sure whether they felt bad for you, sensing an incoming rejection, or wanted to tear you to shreds for even trying. 

The whispers grew even louder when Sunghoon took the sandwich and milk from your hands, thanking you with a smile. You’d be lying if you said your heart hadn’t done a small jump in your chest at that moment. As much as you hated to admit it, if looks were the sole factor for popularity, then you could definitely understand why Park Sunghoon was so loved. His face looked like it had been carved by the gods themselves. When his eyebrows weren’t turned in a frown, his eyes looked almost sweet, especially when he laughed. His two moles gave him so much charm, the curve of his nose was so delicate and his pink lips looked so, so soft… 

You cleared your throat and smiled back at him before turning around to walk to your own classroom.

“Wait, Y/N!”

You turned back around, all eyes on you. You could feel Jay’s eyes burning holes into you. Sunghoon was still smiling. You thought you’d seen him smile more in the past two days than you had in all the years you’d known him.

“I’ll see you later.”

—

And indeed see him later you did. You always hung back a bit after classes ended to get homework done or work out student council issues. Being in an empty classroom brought you some peace and quiet, very different from the busyness and noise of your home. You couldn’t even focus in your own room, your siblings or parents always barging in to disturb you. The after-school janitors now knew you by name and saved cleaning the classroom you were sitting in for last. 

You had been barely sitting there for 5 minutes, nose buried in a math problem, when Park Sunghoon graciously strode in, swung the chair in front of you around and sat on it, arms crossed over its back as he peered at you. You didn’t even bother to look up at him as you spoke. “What, Park?”

“Oh no, back to last name basis already?” he joked. You didn’t laugh. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Wow, tough crowd. Anyways, thanks for the sandwich today.”

This made you look at him. Or rather, shoot daggers at him. “Yeah, what the hell was that all about? Did you have to pull that little stunt in front of everybody? You know what our school is like! Rumors are gonna start spreading like wildfire.”

“I already told you,” he said with a defensive tone. “Forgot my lunch, everything was gonna run out, didn’t want to get hungry later,” he said as he shrugged, completely ignoring the latter part of your complaint.

“And you couldn’t have gone and gotten it yourself?”

He beamed. If it wasn’t so damn beautiful, you probably would have started getting tired of his stupid smile already. “Why would I do that when I could get you to do it?”

You sighed. “I knew you weren’t the nicest guy, but I didn’t know you could be such an asshole, Park.”

If you hadn’t been staring him down so intently, you might not have noticed the falter in his smile, so quick it was.

“Oh, come on, Y/N. If anything, I’m doing you a favor by not sending out to everyone that picture you so desperately want to keep secret. Thing is, doing that wouldn’t benefit me in any way, except for getting the satisfaction of seeing everybody realize you’re not as perfect as they think you are. Whereas holding it over your head allows me to do basically anything I want with you. And that, that is just so much fun,” he beams, lowering his voice into a whisper for the last sentence.

What a psycho, you thought. You just sighed once more and returned to your textbook, too weirded out to say anything back. You hoped the silence would make Sunghoon realize how creepy what he had just said was. 

It was quiet in the room, only the sound of your pencil scratching your notebook could be heard. Sunghoon sat in the same position and watched you working. He often saw you like this, focused and benched over a desk, in the library or walking past your classroom. But it was always in passing, and looking at you so closely made all the world’s difference. He could see how you scrunched your nose when the problem got particularly difficult, or how your smirk as you solved another one made your left dimple appear. He also liked the annoyed looks you gave him every once in a while, as if his presence was disturbing your focus. He wasn’t sure what it was, but there was something about seeing someone who always went about their way with such purpose sitting in such silence.

He decided to break that silence. “You know, Jay was asking about you earlier.”

You kept your eyes trained on your notebook but abruptly stopped writing, your pencil leaving a small scratch on the paper. This didn’t go unnoticed by Sunghoon. “Did he?” you said, trying to sound as uninterested as possible, although you couldn’t help but be curious. Ever since Jay and you had grown apart, there was always a part of you wondering what he was up to, how he was doing, if he thought of you once in a while or reminisced about the good old times as you sometimes did. 

“Yeah. I mean, everyone did, but I didn’t really care,” he answers simply, and even though you’re itching to push him to say more, you stay quiet. “You’re right, by the way, I do know the people in our school. The rumors have already started spreading. Up to you whether you wanna deny them or not, though,” he said with a smirk.

“Don’t even think about it, Park. There’s not a chance in hell I’ll let them think we have a thing going on. I have a reputation to uphold, you know.”

He chuckled. “Trust me, I know. Anyway, he wanted to know why you did that for me. Guess he was jealous you didn’t do it for him, too.”

“Why would he be?” you asked, trying to make the question sound as innocent as possible. 

“Well, you two go a long way back, right?” he asked tentatively, as if testing the waters.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Then it was probably weird for him to see his childhood best friend and his best bro interacting out of nowhere, even though we’ve both seen each other around a lot and nothing has ever come out of that. Don’t you think?”

A beat passed as you thought about it. “Yeah, I guess that’d look weird to him,” you replied, trying to keep the disappointment out of your voice.

You quickly wrote down your last answer, packed up your things, and stood up. “Well, I’m off now. I’ll see you around, unfortunately.”

Sunghoon, surprised at your quick departure, scrambled to get off his chair and chased after you. “Do you want me to drop you off? I’ve got a car, you know. Much more glamorous than the bus.”

You turned around and looked at him. “I’d rather get hit by said bus than get in your car, Park.”

He stood there, watching you walk away with a smirk on his face as your ponytail swayed from side to side. This was going to be a challenge. You were going to be a challenge. 

Thing is, he loved a good challenge.

—

Back home, you flopped down on your bed and buried your face in your pillow. You laid there for a few minutes, taking some time to gather your thoughts and try to understand Sunghoon’s actions. It was of no use; you weren’t a mind-reader, and he seemed impossible to figure out. He could make you do basically whatever he wanted to, and he decided to make you get him lunch, creating rumors along the way? What could he possibly get out of that?

Your reflexions were quickly interrupted, however, by a flurry of incoming messages on your phone. Someone had posted a photo of you handing his banana milk to Sunghoon on your school’s Instagram account - because apparently, your school was so obsessed with gossip that they had created an Instagram page just for it. The photo had blown up among your peers and it made you wonder if people really were that bored with their lives.

People you barely knew but that felt entitled to knowing your relationship status were DMing you, asking about today’s events. You quickly got tired of it, so you texted your worried and confused friends that you didn’t feel like talking tonight and would catch up with them tomorrow. You opened your textbook, deciding that studying would be the best and most efficient distraction.

When your parents called you and your siblings for dinner, you still weren’t feeling great. Your family quickly registered your annoyed expression and could only hope for the best. You already weren’t the easiest to live with, but when you were tired, you just got a hundred times worse.

“So, how was everyone’s day?” your mom asked cheerily.

Yeeun’s eyes lit up instantly. “Mine was great! I met a really cute boy. His name is Nishimura Riki and he just transferred from Japan.”

“Oh, that’s nice!”

“You’re too young to be thinking about boys, Yeeun.”

Your mom and dad had replied at the same time, then gave each other a stern look.

“I’m not thinking about him, Dad, just looking,” your sister replied, earning a chuckle from your concerned father. 

“Mine was alright. I guess the start-of-a-new-year excitement has already worn off. After a week,” Sunoo said with a sigh. 

Your mom turned to you. “What about you, Y/N?”

“It was fine.”

The sharpness of your tone changed the atmosphere in the room at once. You ignored the looks your family exchanged and continued eating your food, eyes not leaving your plate.

For some reason, Sunoo thought it’d be a great idea to chime in. “She’s not happy because she had to buy Park Sunghoon his lunch and everybody went crazy over it.”

“Sunoo!” you protested. Your parents didn’t need to know about this sort of stuff.

“Park Sunghoon? Is that someone we’re supposed to know?” your dad questioned.

Yeeun scoffed. “Uh, he’s only the most popular and handsome guy at Y/N and Sunoo’s school, dad. Duh.”

“Right. Duh,” your dad said, imitating your sister’s tone.

“And why did you have to buy his lunch, Y/N?” your mom asked.

“Because he saw what she looks like when she’s not at school,” Sunoo said, not even giving you the chance to reply yourself.

“Sunoo!” you scolded again.

“And now I guess he’s using that against her to get her to do what he wants? Right, Y/N?”

You glared at your brother and let a beat pass. “Right,” you reluctantly admitted.

“Lucky…” your sister mused, expression like she was daydreaming about being Sunghoon’s personal assistant.

Your dad ignored your sister and looked straight at you. “That’s inadmissible, Y/N. You can’t let him do that.”

“Your father’s right, sweetie. It’s not right,” your mom added when you stayed silent.

With everybody’s eyes on you, you felt obligated to reply. “It’s fine. It’s not like he asked me to do anything crazy. I’m sure he’ll stop soon enough.”

“You know, boys that age, they’ll do anything to get a girl’s attention,” your dad warned. “Just ignore him and he’ll go away.”

“If she ignores him, he’ll tell everyone what she’s really like,” your brother explained.

“And what’s so bad about that? I’m sure it’d be easier if you stopped lying to everyone.”

Everyone suddenly stopped in their motions, wondering why your mom would say something so true yet so controversial. You looked up at her. “What’s so bad about that? What’s so bad? I don’t know, maybe the fact that I’ve worked so hard all these years for everybody to like me and look up to me only for a stupid picture taken by a stupid boy to ruin everything,” you said all in one breath, voice coming out harsh. You were tired of having to explain the same thing over and over again - your parents just didn’t understand why you did what you did.

Your mom opened and closed her mouth again, knowing it was useless trying to talk sense into you. It never ended well when you had this conversation.

“Who put mushrooms in this anyway? You know I hate mushrooms,” you said before filling up your bowl and taking it to eat in your room, making sure you’d slammed your door behind you.

—

On the bus the next day, you tried to explain the events of the previous day to your friends.

“There’s nothing really to it. He just asked me to get him lunch so I did, and when I handed it to him, his whole class was there and saw everything.”

“I get that, but I just don’t understand why he made you do it in the first place, or why you agreed,” Heeseung said, “it’s so unlike the both of you to do something like that.”

You hadn’t even thought to come up with an excuse for your and Sunghoon’s yesterday - your friends were definitely super confused, but you didn’t want to tell them the truth, so you had to quickly find something to say that was somewhat believable, and change the subject.

“I have no idea why he did what he did, but I didn’t want to cause a scene so I just agreed. I don’t really care, to be honest, I just wish it didn’t have such consequences. People seem to think we’re characters on a stupid Netflix coming-of-age series or something, when we literally just go to their school.”

As soon as you’d turned your phone back on this morning, it started pinging with all the messages that had flown in since last night. People were talking about it everywhere: Kim Y/N, highly sought-after bachelorette, had offered Park Sunghoon, notorious rejecter of girls and breaker of hearts, a sandwich and a banana milk, and he had taken them. What’s more, he had been seen at lunch heartily eating them. This was serious.

You didn’t think things could get any worse until you got to school. You were used to random people coming up to you in the hallways or in class for help, except today they weren’t asking for help at all - they were asking what was up between you and Sunghoon, as though handing him a tuna mayo was like asking for his hand in marriage. Most of them were just curious, but some, especially his fanclub members, had an aggressive tone to their voice, which you weren’t used to. If people started liking you less because of Sunghoon, you were going to kill him.

But you had to hold onto that thought, because an all too familiar voice had suddenly called out to you on your way to class. You took a deep breath and turned around, watching him take long strides towards you. You immediately became aware of the amount of people in the hallway and realized you couldn’t talk to him like you had the previous day in front of everybody. You mustered the fakest smile you could and greeted him.

“Hi, Sunghoon. What can I help you with today?”

He smiled, obviously enjoying the fact that you had to be nice to him. “I’ve got my sports bag because of practice later tonight. Mind holding onto that for me for the day?”

Your fake smile turned a bit crazy as your eyes widened in disbelief. "Don’t you have a locker for that, Sunghoon?”

“Yeah, but it’s so much more fun if you’re the one to hold it.” And with that, he threw the bag in your direction, leaving approximately 0.5 seconds to catch it. “I’ll need that later today. Meet me in front of the locker rooms after school, yeah?”

He didn’t bother to wait for your answer and walked away, Jake and Jay following closely behind. Jay sent you a questioning look, to which you could only reply with a shrug. If it wasn’t for all the students in the hallway, you would’ve been yelling Sunghoon’s ear off at that point. Unfortunately, that wasn’t a possibility, so you just smiled to your friends who were looking more confused than ever.

“Let’s just go to class, guys.”

—

Throughout the whole day, you could feel people staring at you, then at the bag you were holding, then starting to whisper among themselves. You tried your best to concentrate in class so you could momentarily stop pondering over what Sunghoon’s evil master plan might be, but everyone seemed bent on making that usually simple feat impossible. When 3:30 p.m. finally came around, you bid your friends goodbye and headed to the boys’ locker room. Every boy walking in eyed you suspiciously, unsure as to what you could be doing there. Of course, Sunghoon had to take his sweet time to get there. 

Staring at the opposite wall and planning Sunghoon’s murder in your head, you hadn’t noticed Jay and Jake arriving. Jay signaled for his friend to go inside the locker room and told him he’d join him in a minute. He waved his hand in front of you to get your attention, a smile on his face. You sighed in relief at the familiar sight of your friend.

“Hey, Jay. Sorry I didn’t see you.”

“You okay, Y/N? You look like you’re about to murder someone,” he said, slightly amused.

“If only you knew,” you mumbled.

He noticed the bag in your hand. “You waiting for Sunghoon?”

“Yeah. If only he could hurry up a little bit. I’ve got stuff to do.”

There was something about Jay that made it impossible to lie to him. Maybe it was the fact that you had known each other for so long, way before you’d turned into what you were now, that made you feel as though showing a side of you that gets annoyed and impatient and doesn’t smile all the time was okay.

Jay looked at his feet before looking back up at you. You were still staring at the wall but your murderous thoughts had somewhat calmed. “Mind telling me what this whole thing with Sunghoon is about?”

You turned to him and were about to fumble for an answer when someone interrupted you. “What whole thing with me?”

Whew. Saved by Sunghoon. You didn’t like that it was thanks to him that you could get out of answering Jay, but at least you didn’t have to come up with yet another stupid excuse.

Jay turned his attention to his friend and stood up straighter. “You know, making her get you lunch or hold your bag all day. There’s dozens of girls who’d be more than happy to do that for you, so why Y/N? She doesn’t have time for this stuff.”

You looked at Jay with surprise. Sure, you were friends, but you hadn’t thought he’d defend you like that in front of Sunghoon.

“Well, Y/N’s just such a nice, reliable person. No one better to ask to do those things.” What a reason, you thought. He turned to you and took the bag from your hands. “Thanks, Y/N. I’ll see you outside in a couple minutes.”

“Huh? What do you mean? I’m leaving,” you said, body already headed towards the other direction.

“What? You can’t leave before practice has even started. Go to the benches outside, we’ll be out in a few.”

You were about to open your mouth to protest, but he cut you off. “You don’t want to?” He started pulling out his phone. “That’s funny, because there’s a pict-”

“I’ll be on the benches! See you soon!” you quickly said, pushing the two boys inside the locker room, Sunghoon smirking, Jay looking at you in utter confusion.

Girls sat in a few different groups in the bleachers. You recognized the girls in one of those groups, so you decided to sit with them. As you approached, they quickly looked at each other and then back at you, expressions half-friendly, half-what-the-hell-are-you-doing-here. 

“Hi guys! Mind if I join?”

“Hi Y/N! No, of course not, come sit,” Jake’s girlfriend, Yujin, said. 

“Are you guys here to watch practice?”

“Yeah! I’m here on girlfriend duties for Jake. These two are just here for the eye candy and to keep me company,” Yujin explained.

“Yeah, but mostly for the eye candy,” added her friend Wonyoung. 

“What about you, Y/N? I’ve never seen you here,” asked the last girl, Gaeul.

“Oh, um, Sunghoon asked me to come, actually.” You regretted your words as soon as you’d let them out. They all ooh-ed at your response, making you blush, which just egged them on. This was nothing to blush about, Y/N. You’d just made the rumors get a hundred times worse with one sentence.

“The whole school’s been talking about you two, you know. Anything you wanna share? Don’t worry, we can keep a secret,” said Wonyoung with a wink. You chuckled awkwardly.

“Oh my gosh, yes, tell us!”

“Guys, don’t make her uncomfortable,” Yujin chimed in, smiling at you. You returned her smile, grateful, once again, that you didn’t have to explain your new link to Sunghoon. “Look, practice is starting.”

You turned your head towards the field as the soccer players started doing laps as per the coach’s instructions. Your eyes immediately drifted towards Sunghoon without you even realizing it. His lean figure hypnotized you. The last time you had had PE with him was in freshman year, and puberty had hit him like a fine, fine truck. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him as he lightly jogged next to his friends, chatting like it was nothing. You weren’t being very subtle with your stare and he eventually noticed you, sending a wink your way. This made you snap out of your reverie and you scowled at him, as if he could make out your annoyed expression from such a distance. You turned back to the girls, who were giggling at you.

“Wow, those were some serious heart eyes you were giving him, Y/N,” Gaeul giggled.

You opened your mouth in mild shock. “Was not!”

“Sure, whatever you say,” she replied knowingly. “Well, look all you want. Warm-up is the best part. It gets boring when they actually start playing.”

“No way! Watching them play is my favorite part,” Yujin disagreed.

“Yeah, that’s cause you’ve got someone to root for,” retorted Wonyoung. She looked at you slyly. “Well, I guess Y/N does, too.”

You scoffed. “Believe me, I will not be rooting for him.”

You started staring at him again, this time with a glare in your eyes. From their silence, you deduced the girls must’ve judged it a better idea to not question you too much. After the boys were done with running exercises and stretching (which you had enjoyed watching a bit too much, if you spoke truthfully), they started playing. The coach split the boys into two teams, Jay leading one and Sunghoon the other. It was a very close game. You could never tell who was leading, although that might have been due to your extensive lack of knowledge in the sport. All you knew was that you desperately wanted to see Sunghoon lose; that might put him down a peg. What you told yourself, however, was that you wanted Jay to win. So when he scored a goal, you surprised the girls next to you, the boys on the field and yourself as you jumped up and down, cheering for him. Realizing what you were doing, you quickly sat down and sent him an awkward thumbs up.

Jay tried to hide it, but he was blushing. Hard. Truth be told, he had noticed your little eye contact moment with Sunghoon during warm-up and hadn’t particularly enjoyed it. So seeing you cheer for him like that made him swell with pride, which only grew when Sunghoon scored and you barely reacted. 

When the game was over, you thought you might be able to finally go home and start studying. But Sunghoon had other plans for you, as always these past couple days. Heading towards the showers, he motioned for you to come down from the benches. As you did, Jay walked past, and you smiled at each other.

“Good game.”

“Thanks, Y/N.” He continued walking as Sunghoon reached you.

“What about me? I scored a goal, too.”

“Oh, did you? Didn’t even notice," you said, looking at your nails. The polish was starting to chip - you’d need to reapply a layer tonight.

“Whatever. Wait for me, yeah?”

“What? No! I gotta go home!” But your protests were in vain, as he completely ignored you. 

You waited outside the school with Yujin, Wonyoung and Gaeul. After a little while, Jake, Jay and Sunghoon joined you guys, having successfully showered and not smelling of sweat and dirt, thank God. Yujin was dropping her boyfriend and her friends off, so they bid their goodbyes and headed towards her car. Sunghoon and Jay also started to walk towards the parking lot, leaving you standing alone, not sure what to do. Sunghoon turned around and looked at you with a frown.

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t know, what are you doing?”

“I’m dropping you and Jay off.”

“Oh,” you mumbled, taken aback. “Didn’t know I was just supposed to guess that.”

As soon as Sunghoon started to drive, you noticed the awkward air between the three of you. Luckily, after years of being a people-pleaser, you had become somewhat of an expert in making small talk, which helped prevent a silent ride. You don’t think you could’ve gone through that without a mental breakdown.

Because you and Sunghoon lived closer to each other (and we all know the consequences of that), Jay was dropped off before you. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow at school,” he said before giving you a last glance.

“Bye, Jay.”

“See you, bro.”

Thankfully, you only lived a couple minutes by car from Jay’s and hoped the rest of the car ride would be peaceful. Which was really stupid of you to hope for, because you were in the car with Park Sunghoon.

“So, Park Jongseong, huh?” he said, eyes trained on the road in front of him. Even though he was trying to keep his tone light, you thought you detected a slight harshness to his gaze.

“What about him?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.”

“There’s nothing to say. We’ve just been friends for a long time.”

It was silent for about five seconds. “You really feasted your eyes during warm-up, huh?”

“Shut up, Park.”

“No, it’s alright, I get it. I’d do the same.” He laughed at his own joke that wasn’t really a joke. Why was he laughing, anyway? 

You looked at him. His face was so different from all those times you’d seen it at school. His eyes, rid of the harshness you’d seen earlier, crinkled at the edges and had an amused glint in them. His smile dug pretty dimples into his cheeks and you let your gaze linger long enough to notice he had sharp, vampire-like canines, which were surprisingly cute. You didn’t know why he was showing you a side of him he never showed anyone, except for his close friends, you assumed. You weren’t sure what overcame you, but you chuckled with him. 

“So, do you already know what task you’re gonna give me tomorrow?” you asked, genuinely curious.

“Hmm, haven’t really thought about it yet. I’d rather keep it a surprise, anyway. Keep you on your toes.”

“Pfft. What a great surprise.” He laughed again, and you couldn’t help but join him. He was unusually giddy that day, but you didn’t want to complain. This was a thousand times better than the arrogant Sunghoon with his I’m-better-than-all-of-you facade. What you didn’t know was that he, too, liked your snarky, no-nonsense side infinitely more than the model student, pretty girl persona you had created for yourself.

Finally at your house, you got out of the car and headed to your house after waving goodbye to Sunghoon. He rolled his window down and leaned out of it.

“Y/N?”

You turned around. “Yeah?”

“About your task tomorrow…”

“…Yeah?”

“I’m sure you’ll love it.” He gave you an umpteenth wink, rolled his window back up and drove off.

You weren’t so awful to your parents and siblings that evening.

—

The next day at school, you were wondering why Sunghoon had said you would love your task. Because you were, in fact, quite loathing it. He had found you studying during your free period after lunch and dragged you to the part of the library where it was okay to talk a bit over whisper level. You were currently going over a scene in The Tempest which you had seen in AP English Lit last year and clearly had no time for. But obviously, that wasn’t a problem to Sunghoon, who just wanted to get a passing grade on his English essay without putting in too much effort. 

After twenty minutes of going over the same five lines, you were about to give up. “Look, Sunghoon, I don’t mind helping you. I’ve tutored dozens of students before so I’m used to it. But you’re not making any effort! If you want to get it, you need to at least try.”

“But it’s so boring,” he whined, not unlike a child. “How am I supposed to find any meaning in this? It’s just stupid people doing stupid stuff on a stupid island.” You cringed at his words and hoped Shakespeare wasn’t listening in on this conversation. 

“It’s not stupid. It’s about power, and being punished for chasing it, and it’s a metaphor fo-”

“Ugh!” he groaned loudly. “You know what, I don’t care enough about this. Just write the essay for me, okay?” He got up and left, again not waiting for your answer. You wanted to protest, but you know what would happen if you said no to any of his requests, so you just quickly got to work.

Everyday over the next couple of weeks, Sunghoon would find something for you to do. Most days, he’d just get you to buy him lunch (although he thankfully had started paying you back) or carry his stuff around like the first two times. He didn’t ask you again to tutor him, however, so you had gotten used to sitting in an empty class together after class, you doing his homework for him and attempting (and failing) to explain it to him, and him alternating between playing on his phone and looking at you. Although it’d flustered you at first, not used to having someone stare at you while you were trying to concentrate, you’d grown somewhat okay with it - all of your complaints were ignored anyway. One time, he even got you to work on his science project with him, a weirdly-shaped volcano he needed to paint and decorate before actually putting the chemicals in. You’d be lying if you said it hadn’t been fun painting it together, occasionally ‘accidentally’ getting paint on the other’s hand or cheek instead of the volcano. 

You went to see him at practice two to three times a week, although you weren’t sure what use that had for him. If anything, you were probably the one who enjoyed yourself more. Perhaps, after being forced to spend so much time with him, you had started to soften up to him. And, perhaps, that made you appreciate his good looks even more. You couldn’t deny the effect his damp hair, stuck to his forehead with sweat, had on you. 

The rumors hadn’t died down, but people had started getting used to seeing the two of you together around, so they didn’t ogle their eyes at you everytime you and Sunghoon had some kind of interaction. Not liking that you couldn’t control people’s opinion of you anymore, you were still a bit bothered by them, but Sunghoon’s little posse of fangirls didn’t seem to be. They’d been the one to question you the most, and you got a few nasty looks in the hallway, but the gossip around school hadn’t stopped them from keeping on following him around, harassing him from morning to afternoon by going to his homeroom at breaks, sitting at a table near him at lunch, and going to see him at practice. Their group had dwindled down, though; most likely, some of them thought you two might be dating and had finally realized they didn’t stand a chance with the one and only Park Sunghoon. Thank God you had your friends and now sometimes Yujin, Wonyoung and Gaeul around you during those times, otherwise, you’d probably have been jumped. Spending so much time with him had kept you a couple times from your friends, which they’d complained about, but sensing that they couldn’t do much about it, they let you be, even though they hadn’t gotten a satisfactory explanation yet.

One person who didn’t want to, or rather couldn’t let it go, though, was Jay. He still couldn’t figure out why you’d started spending so much time with Sunghoon, seemingly overnight, and it created an unpleasant, sour pit in his stomach. Out of all the people you could’ve decided to form a new friendship with, why’d it have to be his best friend, meaning he saw you more often now than before, but not because he was the one you had come to see? Why did you never get him banana milk for lunch, and why’d you only start coming to soccer practice because Sunghoon had asked you to? He’d tried to ask both of you about it, but you always gave him half-assed excuses that didn’t make much sense. 

He realized what he was feeling was jealousy the day you came into their homeroom before the first bell rang and asked Sunghoon how his science project had gone. You’d never asked him how his science project, or any of his projects or tests, for that matter, had gone. He recognized it as the same feeling he had harbored when he had come back from the US in middle school and saw you dating Choi Soobin, or when Lee Heeseung had joined your tight-knit group of friends in freshman year. You and Soobin had only dated for three weeks and a half because you had a relationship-terminating argument over mint chocolate ice cream, and you and Heeseung had never become more than friends, nor had the intention to. But Jay didn’t care about that; all he saw was that there were boys around you that weren’t him. He had never acted upon those feelings, dismissing them as over-protectiveness for someone he had known since forever, but seeing Sunghoon and you laughing together hit too close to home. He couldn’t ignore how he felt because he was reminded of it everyday, but he didn’t know what to do with these newfound emotions.

And what’s the best thing to do whenever you don’t know what to do? Talk to your friends. Or well, in this case, your friend. He didn’t wanna talk about you to Sunghoon. He was a firm believer of bro code, but he didn’t wanna bottle up his feelings like he had all these years. So he went to Jake and told him everything, from your childhood friendship to Soobin, Heeseung and now Sunghoon.

“I know it’s stupid. It’s this whole cliché of, you only realize what you have when you lose it.”

“Well, you haven’t really lost Y/N, you know. It’s not like Sunghoon and her are dating.”

“I guess not, but he clearly likes her. It’d be a dick move to go after her now that they’ve got something going on.”

Jake hesitated for a second, debating whether he should say what he was thinking, but ultimately deciding it might be better to do it. “You know, I’m not sure that he does. You know what Sunghoon’s like. He’s never very honest about his intentions. I don’t wanna bring the subject up with him, cause I don’t wanna cause any drama, but it’s so suspicious to me that he’s suddenly spending time with Y/N when he’s never mentioned her all those years and when he rejects all these girls all the time.”

“I think it’s weird, too,” agreed Jay. “I just can’t seem to figure it out. And I’m a bit scared for Y/N, to be honest. Remember that girl in freshman year? They’d gotten along really well when he suddenly dropped her. I still remember his cold-ass stare when he turned her down. It even chilled me, man.”

“God, yeah, I always forget about that. He may be a jackass to all those girls, but when you know what he’s really like like we do, it seems so unlikely that he’d do something like that.”

Jay sighed and looked out into the distance. “I just hope he doesn’t hurt Y/N.”

Jake looked at his friend, thinking how to phrase his next sentence. “Like I said, I don’t wanna cause any drama… but, man, if you don’t want him to hurt Y/N, just don’t let him. If you make a move on her, you might get to her before he does. Better to do that now than to have to pick up the pieces, don’t you think?”

Jay mentally thanked the heavens for gifting him with a friend like Sim Jaeyun. “Yes, that is much, much better.”

He was going to stop sitting on his feelings and finally let them see the light.

—

But before that, Sunghoon had another one of his requests for you. You were sitting together in an empty classroom after school as you often did these past weeks. For you, today was an ordinary day, but the boy in front of you had something else in mind. He wasn’t saying anything but you could feel his nervousness and it was starting to make you feel anxious as well.

You lifted your head from your notes and looked at Sunghoon who seemed lost in his thoughts. “What is it, Sunghoon?”

This made him snap out of his reverie. “Um, nothing.”

“Well, seeing how you’ve been tapping your foot at the speed of lightning ever since we got here, it doesn’t seem like nothing.” You crossed your arms over the table and looked at him more intently, eyes asking him to tell you what was on his mind.

He sighed, giving in. “I was just thinking… there’s something I wanna tell you.”

“Go on. “

“I need you to date me.”

Your breath caught in your throat. Park Sunghoon… needed you… to date him? Was he asking you out? The way he’d worded it was a bit odd, but you didn’t put it past him.

Taking in your silence and wide eyes, he quickly added: “Not in that way! I, um, need you to be my fake girlfriend.”

Oh.

So he wasn’t asking you out. You weren’t sure why that made you so upset, but you tried to keep the disappointment out of your eyes and voice.

“Right,” you said, tone a bit harsher than you’d meant it to, “and why would I do that?”

Sunghoon smirked lightly. “Well, first of all, you don’t have much of a choice.” You rolled your eyes at that. It’d been a few days since the reason why you had started hanging out in the first place had come up, and you didn’t like to be reminded of that god-forsaken picture. 

“And second of all… I guess I should be completely honest with you.” This piqued your interest, and you leaned back on your chair to listen to him. 

“When I saw you at the store and took pictures of you, I wasn’t really thinking of doing anything. Maybe just get a laugh or two and tease you about it. I even told you outside the store that I didn’t know what I was gonna do. To be honest, I didn’t really think there was anything you could do for me that I’d need to force you to do. So I thought about it all night. And I asked myself, what’s the thing that pisses me off the most at school that you could change?” he looked at you expectantly, as if you could figure it out. You just shrugged.

“It’s those girls that keep following me around. All these years, I’ve acted like a giant asshole with them and still they think they have a crush on me or whatever. And I’ve never liked any of them, they’re all so superficial and ask me out without having ever talked to me before. So I thought, hey, maybe if I have a girlfriend, they’ll leave me alone. Which is why I made you do all those things for me.”

“So that they’d think we were dating?” you asked, trying to take all this information in. You’d sort of known it this entire time, but Sunghoon blatantly admitting he’d been using you hurt nonetheless.

“Yeah. But obviously, you always denied the rumors, so it hasn’t worked as well as I thought it would. It still did a bit though. So I think, if we take it the next step, and actually pretend we’re dating, it should really work. But I need your full cooperation on this, okay?” He looked at you, hopeful eyes and hands in prayer.

You sighed. As he said, it wasn’t like you had much of a choice.

“Please, Y/N? I really want them off my back.”

“Fine, Park, I’ll do it. But this better be the last thing you make me do.” You couldn’t help but sound cold. This made you rethink these past few weeks’ events. Were you the only one actually enjoying spending time together?

“Thanks, Y/N. And yeah, of course. You won’t have to carry my bag or get my lunch anymore if you want. Maybe it’ll be more believable if I do that for you.”

You had focused your attention back to your homework, wanting this conversation to be over as soon as possible.

“I’ll also pick you up in the morning, so you don’t need to take the bus.”

You hummed in response.

“Um, and I’ll also drop you off after school and after practice…” Sunghoon trailed, troubled by your silence. You hadn’t been so cold since the first couple times you two had talked, and he hated the idea that that might be because of what he had just said. So he took a chance.

“You know, Y/N, this doesn’t change anything. I wouldn’t have made you do all those things if I didn’t like spending time with you. You’re really nice to be around,” he admitted shyly.

You were far too flustered to lift your head and let him see your face. You just grinned and murmured, “Whatever, Park.”

—

Sunghoon kept his promise and picked you up in the morning. He called you at exactly 7:55 a.m., saying he was waiting outside and you rushed out of your house, piece of toast still in your mouth. In the car, you two went over what being in a fake relationship would involve.

“We just need to be seen around together, right?” you proposed, hoping your lack of experience wasn’t showing.

Thankfully, Sunghoon had no idea what being in a relationship, fake or not, entailed either. “Yeah, I think. And maybe…” he hesitated. 

“Maybe?” you prodded, hoping he wouldn’t (or actually would, but you’d never admit it) say what you thought he was about to say.

“I don’t know, like, hold hands, and… kiss.” The last part had barely been audible, but you’d still heard it.

“Kiss?” you echoed, voice almost a shriek. “I don’t think we need to go that far, Sunghoon.” A little voice in your head was saying that you’d really like to go that far but you made it shut up.

He was blushing profusely but didn’t want to drop the subject there. “At least on the cheek, or something. We do have to make it believable.”

And there it was. The little sentence, reminding you none of this was real. Seemed like that was a pattern in your life.

You looked out the window. Sunghoon glanced over at you, cursing himself for always saying the wrong thing. He was trying so hard to drown his blooming feelings for you that he kept on hurting you in the process. This whole fake-dating plan was the perfect excuse for him to spend more time with you without having to come to terms with his feelings. 

“C’mon, Y/N, it’ll be fun. Promise.” He nudged your arm playfully, making you look at him. His smile was contagious; you could never help yourself but start grinning when you saw his face light up like that. Maybe he’s right, you thought. Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.

When you arrived at school, Sunghoon told you to wait for a second. He got out of the car and quickly walked around to your side, opening the door for you. You hated how your heart fluttered at the sweet gesture, reminding yourself it was just for show. The important part was that it fooled everyone else, and it did - as you took Sunghoon’s hand, letting him help you out of the car, and walked with him hand in hand towards the school gates, you could feel all eyes on you. You could hear whispers of see, I told you they were dating! and defeated no ways. 

You realized you didn’t care about what anybody might be seeing, which was a first for you. You’d always made sure everybody saw you exactly the way you wanted to see them. As he was the most popular guy in school, dating Park Sunghoon at once helped your reputation and put you on many girls’ bad side. But holding his hand, you felt as though there was some kind of barrier protecting you. You’d never felt so exposed and so safe at the same time.

You noticed Jay standing next to the gates, looking particularly antsy. He’d texted you that morning, saying there was something he wanted to tell you. Usually, you’d have stayed up, overthinking what that could be, but what with today being the day you’d announce yourself to the world (your school) as Park Sunghoon’s (fake) girlfriend, you had had other things to worry about. You gestured at Sunghoon towards Jay. Your friend only saw you when you were calling his name, standing right in front of him.

“Oh, hi, Y/N! I-” 

He immediately cut himself off when he saw yours and Sunghoon’s interlaced fingers. Embarrassed, you took your hand out of your fake boyfriend’s, opting for holding onto his pinky instead, not realizing that it was a much cuter action that made one boy’s heart flutter and the other’s fill up with sadness.

“There was something you wanted to tell me?” you asked with a small smile.

“Uh- yeah, but it’s not important, actually. We can talk about it later.”

“Oh, you sure?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it.” He returned your smile, hoping to make the situation less awkward. It was very obvious he didn’t want to say whatever it was he needed to tell you in front of Sunghoon, which you had both understood.

Sunghoon spoke up. “Right, well I’ll see you in class, Jay. Y/N, I’ll walk you to yours.” And with that, he started walking, holding his friend’s gaze for a few steps. You turned back to look at Jay for a split second, trying to decipher what had just happened, but Sunghoon grabbed you by the waist, making you look up at him in surprise, and breaking Jay’s heart even further.

—

Once Sunghoon and you got to your class, you felt as though you were in one of those movies where the boy drops the girl off at her house after their first date. Except that this was in a crowded school hallway two minutes before the first bell rang. What you had in common with that girl from the movie, however, was that you were freaking out over what your boy was going to do next. In the car, you’d ended up agreeing to a kiss on the cheek, but you hadn’t realized it would be happening so soon.

As you two hovered around your classroom’s door, you looked at each other and giggled. Damn, you were selling this well. So well that if you could have ascended out of your body and looked at the scene as a third party, you’d probably have barfed all over yourself. 

You were still holding his pinky. You could tell he was too hesitant to do anything now that you had reached the classroom, and so you mustered all of your courage, stood on your tippy toes and softly pressed your lips to his cheeks. (You were pretty sure you’d heard gasps around you.) Your courage went as fast as it came, and as realization hit you, you quickly squeaked “bye, Sunghoon” and practically ran to your seat. The boy stood there for another second or two, hand going to his cheek where you had just kissed him. He walked happily to his own classroom, completely oblivious to the stares he was receiving.

Heeseung, Jiung and Sieun were looking at you in disbelief as you approached them. Sumin, on the other hand, looked like she had paid no attention whatsoever to the scene.

“Y/N,” Sieun teased in a sing-song voice. “Care to explain what just happened?”

“Don’t tell me you’ve actually managed to make the oh-so-great Park Sunghoon fall for you?” Jiung asked jokingly. 

You looked down in an attempt to hide your grin. You usually did that sort of stuff to appear humble when someone complimented you, but this time it was completely genuine. The mere thought of Sunghoon made you all giddy inside. “Um, yeah, he actually asked me to be his girlfriend last night.”

Your three friends gasped dramatically and Sieun pulled you into a hug, as if you’d just received an award of some kind. Heeseung and Jiung patted your shoulders, congratulating you.

“Sumin? Did you know about this?” Sieun enquired, turning to your friend.

“What? Oh, yeah, Y/N called me last night,” she answered, briefly looking at you before turning back to her phone. Sieun looked at you, surprised, not understanding Sumin’s reaction to what seemed like happy news.

You had indeed called Sumin the previous night, and the call had gone similarly to the way she was behaving this morning. Although you usually told her everything, this time, you didn’t want to share the fact that you and Sunghoon were only fake dating. You found yourself actually wanting it to be true - and you thought it’d be easier to believe it yourself if everyone, including your best friend, did too.

“Minie! I’ve got some news,” you’d said as soon as she picked out.

“Ooh! Hit me,” she’d replied with as much excitement in her voice as you.

“So…” you’d started, already giggling. “Sunghoon’s just asked me out. I haven’t told anyone else, I wanted you to be the first to know.”

There was silence on the other end of the line. After a while, you added, “Minie, you still there?”

“Huh? Yeah, um, that’s nice, Y/N, I’m happy for you,” she said, not sounding happy at all. There was no trace of excitement left in her voice.

“Yeah, thanks,” you replied, voice ten times smaller than a minute ago.

“I’m sorry Y/N, but I’ve got to go, my parents are calling me. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She hung up suddenly, giving you no time to say bye in return. You were completely confused. Was Sumin bothered by you and Sunghoon dating? Other than a reminder about his past behavior, she hadn’t said anything when you two were getting closer. So what was wrong? You’d hoped you’d find out the next day at school, but the way she was acting didn’t help at all.

You snapped out of your flashback when Heeseung nudged you, faking a pout. “Not fair! Why did she get to know before we did?”

You forced a smile and said you’d known you’d see them the next day and thought it was better to tell them in person, and that you had just wanted to rant to someone quickly. Your teacher came in as the bell rang and everyone went to their seat. During class, you tried getting her attention so you could ask her if she was okay but she kept her attention on the teacher the whole time. 

After that, as time went by, you kept up your charade of being the perfect student as usual, adding to that of being the perfect girlfriend to Sunghoon. Time with him passed by so quickly: you hadn’t realized you were more than halfway through the semester until you needed to wear a thicker jacket outside and the leaves had started falling, covering school grounds in shades of brown. The plan had worked: he was finally left alone by his admirers. Sumin had stopped being weird after a few days, saying she had had some problems with her parents but hadn’t gone into more detail. Everything was as great as it had ever been: good grades, good friends and a good boyfriend. Well, fake boyfriend, which you needed to remind yourself a bit too often, on the days Sunghoon didn’t do it himself. You felt a pinch in your heart every time he said something like, “there’s my fake girlfriend!” when it was just the two of you, or “great job today, Y/N” after dropping you off.

One day as you arrived home, Yeeun was waiting outside your house, trying to catch you red-handed. She dragged him inside by the arm and you panicked, not wanting him to see how you lived. But your messy room and invasive siblings didn’t scare him off at all; on the contrary, he smiled one of the biggest smiles you’d ever seen on him, canines and dimples on display. Your mom made him stay over for dinner and it was probably the happiest dinner you’d ever had. The idea of bringing someone home and having them see your habits and odd family dynamics had terrified you for the longest time, but you felt so comfortable around Sunghoon that it felt as if he was part of your home as soon as he’d stepped foot inside. You didn’t feel the need to hide anything from him.

After dinner, he helped your parents clear up the table and even washed the dishes, even though they kept insisting he didn’t have to do anything. He had completely won them over. They sat at the table and watched you two laugh together in the kitchen. They looked at each other, knowing they were thinking the exact same thing: their daughter hadn’t looked this happy in a while.

When you were done cleaning up, you two headed to your room under the pretense of needing to study. 

“Alright, but keep the door open!” your mom had yelled after you, making you groan and Sunghoon’s face turn crimson red.

You really had planned on studying - there was a big test coming up and you couldn’t afford to get a bad grade. When you got your physics textbook out, Sunghoon groaned in protest.

“What? You seriously want to study right now?”

You sighed. “I don’t necessarily want to, no, but I need to. And so do you, may I add.”

“We’re not even in the same physics class!”

“Yeah, but we both have Mr. Cho, so I know you’re gonna have a test as well.”

He rolled his eyes and dramatically flung himself on your bed. “Fine.”

When he didn’t move for a few minutes, you guessed what he had meant was that he’d let you study but wasn’t going to do it himself. But after ten minutes, he suddenly got up. “I’m bored to death, Y/N. The test isn’t in another week. Show me what you do for fun,” he said, on the verge of desperation. It had only been ten minutes, but you felt bad having him over and not entertaining him.

“Well, I do have a Switch…” Sunghoon’s eyes widened in awe. “I guess we can play Mario Kart.”

He almost squealed in joy at that. You just chuckled at him, not knowing he was such a fan of car video games. 

“I’m gonna crush you, Kim. Get ready,” he said, already looking victorious.

You smirked, not wanting him to get his hopes up. “Oh, it’s on, Park.”

As expected of a pro player like you (on non-schooldays, you could stay up all night playing this game), you won every single round. Sure, he gave you a run for your money, but you always came on top. He took it surprisingly well, congratulating you each time. After your fourth win in a row, you wiggled your face in front of his with a devilish smile, as you couldn’t help but torment him a little. But he wasn’t smiling. At first, you’d thought he was finally getting mad he kept on losing; but then the proximity between you two hit you. You noticed his eyes flicker momentarily to your lips and had backed off immediately.

“Um, if we go for another round, I’ll go easy on-”

He cut you off by putting his hand on your cheek, making you turn to look at him. You’d daydreamed about this moment before, but you hadn’t imagined your heart beating this fast or the butterflies eating away at your stomach. He was now fully staring at your lips, and you couldn’t look at anything else but his either. Too scared to move an inch, you felt him get closer and closer, so close that his lips were almost on-

“Y/N, mom says it’s late and Sunghoon needs to- AH!”

Sunoo had walked in, eyes riveted on his phone until he looked up and saw you and Sunghoon suspiciously close to each other. Sunghoon practically leaped off of your bed in surprise and you flung a pillow over your face, not believing you had almost kissed Park Sunghoon but that your stupid little brother had ruined everything.

“Sorry! I’m sorry!” the culprit squeaked before running away. You and Sunghoon looked at each other. It was awkward for two seconds, then you both erupted in laughter. 

“Alright, guess I should get going then. Um, thank you so much for tonight. I haven’t had a family dinner in a while, and… Well, it was really nice,” he admitted shyly after you’d calmed down.

“Of course, Sunghoon. I’m sure my parents would love to have you over any time.”

You walked him to your front door, where you exchanged goodbyes and I’ll see you tomorrows. You watched him take a few steps, then turn back and jog towards you. He stood in front of you for a second, then leaned down and placed a kiss on your forehead.

“Bye, Y/N.”

You were too stunned to say it back.

—

After the almost-kiss, it felt as though something had changed between you and Sunghoon. The event had somewhat revealed your feelings: you both knew you wanted to kiss each other. But since those feelings hadn’t been acted upon, the transition from fake-dating to real dating couldn’t happen as smoothly. Well, it could, if you two stopped acting like idiots and told each other how you felt. But the author wanted to get a couple more thousand words in, so it had to wait.

You’d gotten used to Sunghoon’s little requests at school, but you definitely hadn’t anticipated a phone call at past 11pm on a Wednesday night. 

“Sunghoon? Why are you calling me so late?” you asked, groggy voice because of sleep. Since you woke up so early to get ready in the morning, you always went to bed around 9:30 to 10 p.m. Sunghoon was making you lose precious minutes of slumber.

“Late? It’s barely midnight, Y/N.” You groaned. “Whatever, put on some clothes and come outside! I’m waiting for you.”

“You’re what?” you whisper-screamed, suddenly feeling very awake.

“I’m waiting for you! Hurry up!” 

As always, he hung up without waiting for your reply. You couldn’t really turn him down anyway; although you were somewhat obligated, you had stopped seeing it that way and started doing things for him out of your own volition. 

Not wanting to get out of your pajamas, you just threw on a warm sweater, a scarf, some socks, and headed down the hallway on your tiptoes. Your parents weren’t the strictest out there, but you still didn’t wanna get caught sneaking out, and with a boy, at that. After putting on your shoes, you left your house, closing the door behind you as quietly as you could.

The late October night was a bit chilly, but you had wrapped up warm enough. Sunghoon was indeed waiting for you outside, wearing a denim jacket over his gray sweatshirt and matching sweatpants. 

God, he looked good.

“Finally! Took you long enough.”

“Quit it, Sunghoon. Just tell me why you wanted to see me.”

“There’s a place I wanna show you. Come on,” he said, taking you by the hand. You felt tingles in your palm and fingers wherever his hand touched yours. How could something feel so natural yet make your heart race so at the same time?

“Are we walking there?” you asked.

“Yep, it’s not too far. We’ll be there in five minutes.”

Those five minutes felt like five seconds walking with Sunghoon. You chatted and joked around the whole way, not letting go of each other’s hand. You hadn’t even noticed you had reached your destination until he stopped walking.

“Here we are,” he said, facing the building, which made you turn in the direction he was looking.

“The ice rink? What are we doing here?” you asked, confused. It was 11:30 pm; surely, the rink would be closed.

“You’ll see!” he said, heading towards the entrance. To your surprise, he pulled out a key from his pockets and opened the doors.

“What? Sunghoon! How do you have a key to the ice rink?”

“I’m chummy with the janitor. I just need to let him know when I’ll be coming and he doesn’t tell anyone,” he replied, an easy smile on his face, as if this was the most normal thing in the world. He led you first to the shoe rack, helping you find skates your size, and then to the benches next to the rink’s entrance. He knelt in front of you and helped you put on your shoes, doing the laces for you. 

He looked up at you, a glint in his eyes. “I’ve never taken anyone here, Y/N. I know your secret, so I thought I’d show you mine.”

You didn’t know what to say, surprised at the sudden confession, so you just looked at him curiously as he took ice skates from his backpack and laced them up.

He stood up, turned to you and said, “Ready?”

You followed him to the doors leading to the ice. He stepped inside without a trace of hesitation, but you were much more doubtful about your ability to stand on the ice without falling instantly. He turned around and saw you looking helpless. He took your hand in his, helping you step onto the rink. 

“Don’t worry, Y/N. As long as I’ve got you, you won’t fall.”

“Don’t let go of my hand, then,” you said pointedly.

Too focused on not slipping, you didn’t see his smile. “I wasn’t planning to.”

He helped you get your footing, skating backwards in front of you and holding both of your hands. After a few minutes on the ice, you got brave enough to skate on your own, and you miraculously managed to stay on your feet. However, after a while, your bravery turned to hubris, and you dared attempt a spin, resulting in you miserably falling on the ice, butt first. Sunghoon was worried for a second until he saw you laughing uncontrollably. You looked at him, wide-eyed, and said, “This is so much fun, Hoon.” You were so exhilarated that you hadn’t noticed the nickname slipping from your lips but the boy’s cheeks and ears turned redder than the bruise you had surely just earned yourself. Thankfully, if you commented on it, he could just blame it on the cold. 

He helped you up, and you skated on as if nothing had happened. This went on for another thirty minutes, you skating hand in hand and occasionally falling together (but most of the time, just you falling on your own). Sunghoon had been so nervous before bringing you here; he was scared you’d think his hobby was unmanly or lame, as he’d been made to feel. But seeing you have the time of your life, all his worries dissipated. This place was like a second home to him, and bringing someone into your home was always nerve-wracking, but he thought you fit perfectly in it. 

When you told him you were getting tired and wanted to sit for a while, you skated back together to the benches and he gave you some water from his bag. You sat in silence for a while, waiting for your breathing to come back to a normal pace. 

You broke the silence first. “So, why’d you take me here? Not that I’m complaining.”

He hesitated a second before speaking. "I used to come here all the time as a kid.” He didn’t look at you when he answered, keeping his gaze on his hands. “My mom would take me. She left us for another man the summer before middle school started. She left me alone with my asshole father.”

You let out a small gasp, not expecting such a confession. You placed your hand on his back for comfort and said, “I’m sorry, Sunghoon.”

He quickly glanced at you, a half-smile on his face. “Don’t be. Anyways, he had to somewhat start taking care of me now that my mom wasn’t there to do it.” He chuckled darkly. “I guess his idea of taking care of his son was forbidding him from doing the one thing he loved. He thought it was a stupid sport for a boy. He stopped all of my lessons and made me sign up for soccer, even though I hadn’t ever said I wanted to do that. I still came here from time to time, but I didn’t wanna risk getting caught. God knows what he’d have done if he saw me here.”

You weren’t sure what to say. You felt as if no words would be enough to express how his story made you feel. “I- it’s awful, what he did to you. No parent should ever make their child feel as though their passion isn’t worth it. If it’s any comfort, even though you were mostly helping me, I thought you looked ten times better on that rink than scoring any goal. And that’s saying something.”

He finally looked at you and grinned. “Thanks, Y/N.” He seemed to be thinking for a few seconds, and then continued: “I’ve had a lot of time to think about it, and I think that’s why it’s hard for me to open up to people and make lots of friends. I only trust Jake because I’ve known him forever and I can’t really get rid of him now,” he said with a chuckle, “and Jay, well, Jake took to him instantly in middle school so I guess I didn’t have a choice there either, and he’s not so bad anyway. The more people I let in, the more likely I am to get hurt. It’s much easier pretending I don’t wanna have anything to do with anyone than try. 

“I guess it’s also why I talked to you on that day. Sure, I ended up thinking you could help me with all those girls. But at first, when I saw someone like you, who looks like they have it all together, who’s actually the opposite in real life - no offense - it reminded me of myself. And I thought, maybe she’d understand. Which is why it was so easy to be myself around you.”

You took his hand in yours and pressed it slightly. “I’m glad you were.” You didn’t feel the need to say anything else, hoping it was enough.

“Now, your turn. What made you the person you are today?” he asked with a grin, trying to approach lightheartedly this heavy subject, which you appreciated.

“It’s all about making people think you’re someone else, isn’t it? Because, depending on who you are, they’ll treat you differently. I found that out as a kid, because I, too, have a tragic childhood backstory.” He gasped jokingly.

“It’s not as bad as yours, so sorry about that. Back in primary school, I already had this… attitude that I have today. I had quite the ego, and I didn’t want anyone doing better than me at school. I didn’t care about how I looked, if I was the prettiest girl in class or had the cutest shoes. I was the smarty-pants of the class, basically, and a lot of the kids teased me for that. But I also didn’t let myself get trampled over, and fought back, quite aggressively at that, so I was somehow the nerd and the troublemaker at the same time. I didn’t have the best reputation, but I did have a friend. Jay. Or Jongseong, at the time, before he got too cool for his real name,” you joked. “The thing is, I didn’t see him as a friend. Sure, I was only eight or nine, but I really liked him. And the day I was planning on confessing, I saw him hold hands with the prettiest girl in our class. So I never told him, and then he left for the US a few months later.

“During the time he was gone, I had a complete makeover and actually started caring about my appearance, especially when middle school started. So now I had academic validation from teachers, which I had craved since forever, and both female and male validation from all the girls telling me how pretty I was and all the guys liking me. The people who were in my primary school and went to the same middle school told them how I used to be, but nobody believed them, and if they did, they didn’t care, so everybody just gradually forgot about it. And I just got addicted to the validation, which is why I always studied harder and tried to be prettier, even when it turned into a complete lie. I thought that if I could make everyone believe I was perfect, then it didn’t matter what I was like in real life, so at home, I just let myself completely go. And even now that I’m aware of all of this, I still can’t stop.”

Sunghoon looked at you like you had just slapped him. “So, you used to have a crush on Jay?”

You looked at him in exasperation. “Seriously, Hoon? That’s what you get from everything I just told you?”

He smiled shyly. “Sorry. Thank you for telling me.” You sat there in comfortable silence for another few minutes, still hand in hand. Then, Sunghoon got up, grin on his face.

“Wanna see something cool?” You nodded at him, returning his grin. He headed back inside the rink.

You thought he was gonna show off by doing some fancy trick. But he started gliding on the ice, and you couldn’t believe what you were seeing. He took long strides that looked as natural to him as walking. He spinned one, two, three times, and continued skating as though it was nothing. You were completely mesmerized. You already thought he was out-of-this-world beautiful, but his beauty was brought to another level when he skated. His elegant moves rendered you breathless. When he skated back towards you, you were looking at him with only awe and admiration in your eyes. 

After what he’d told you and what he’d just shown you, you couldn't help but get a little emotional. You engulfed him in a hug as soon as he’d stepped out of the rink, your arms around his neck and his naturally coming to your waist. Your hands came up to his cheeks as you leaned back to properly look at him.

“That was- wow. That was amazing, Sunghoon. Thank you for showing me.” You could see the gratefulness in his eyes. There was something else there, and whatever it was, you knew you were looking back at him with as much of it. It was only you two in the building, but it might as well have been the two of you in the whole world. 

All too similarly as in your room, his gaze went from your eyes to your lips, and you couldn’t help but mirror that. This was the perfect moment. You inched your face closer, letting him close the gap between you. Your lips touched and it was as if everything fell into place. The kiss was shy at first, neither of you sure what to do, your mouths moving at a slow but steady pace. But as your hands traveled from his cheeks, to his jaw and down to his neck, and you felt him sigh in the kiss, something unclicked in you, making you want more. You deepened the kiss, and he returned it with just as much force. Your right hand came to grab at the nape of his hair and his hands gripped your waist tighter. After minutes or hours, you broke the kiss in need of some air. Your eyes met again and you smiled at him, relieved it had finally happened. 

You thought he’d have a similar reaction, but he suddenly looked panicked. Realization hit him like a truck. He liked you. Far too much. And even if the kiss and these past weeks told him you might like him back, it scared him. He’d unlocked his heart for you but couldn’t let you keep the key. Otherwise, he’d let you open it more and more and more until there he was completely bare in front of you, and you decided you didn’t like what you’d found and left him. Just like his mom did. Just like everyone eventually does. Just like his dad never even tried.

He took a step back. His panic was rubbing off on you. You called out his name, but he quickly got his bag and said, “Sorry, Y/N, I have to go. I’ll um- I’ll see you.” He took a few steps, turned around, and said, “I think you should take the bus tomorrow morning. Sorry.”

He started walking away. A few steps before he’d be out of your view, he turned back around. He hated the look on your face, how sad, confused and helpless it was all at once. Above all, he hated that he was the reason behind it. But he told himself it was better to leave you now than be left in a few months when you got bored of him, and started walking again without another word.

—

You walked home alone. It was a dark November night, and you were shivering from the cold and from sadness. Try as hard as you might, you couldn’t figure out why Sunghoon had reacted like that. The past month had gone so well, you were only getting closer and more comfortable with each other. The only logical conclusion you could come to was that kissing you had made him realize he didn’t like you. Thankfully, you didn’t live too far from the ice rink and you got home in five minutes. Lost in your thoughts, you couldn’t even be bothered to be quiet closing the front door and walking to your room, and you woke Sunoo up.

At first, he looked like he was about to scold you for making so much noise; but upon seeing your disheveled state, he started worrying. 

“Y/N? What’s wrong, why are you only coming home now? Where were you?”

You couldn’t hold it in any longer. You fell in your brother’s arms and started crying your heart out.

He held you for a little while, but not wanting to wake the others up by staying in the hallway, he said, “Come on, let’s get you in your room. You’re freezing.”

He left for a few minutes and came back with two cups of tea in his hands. He joined you on your bed. You had calmed down a bit and took a sip of the tea, already feeling warmer.

“So, tell me everything.”

And you did. Not just about what had happened at the ice rink, but everything before that: how yours and Sunghoon’s relationship was fake, which you hadn’t even told your siblings, but that it hadn’t kept you from falling for him, and how you really thought he felt the same way. When you got to the part where you told each other about your stories, Sunoo grabbed your arm in surprise, and said, “I can’t believe you told someone about that. Good for you, big sis.”

You sat in silence after a few minutes when you’d finished telling him everything, you, still reflecting on your evening, and him, trying to think of something good to say. He took a deep breath, and started: “You know, this might be completely useless, but I feel like there’s no point trying to figure out why he did that. We’re not mind readers, and assuming things will just go wrong. I think the best thing to do is just ask him tomorrow, or whenever you’re ready to face him, really.”

You looked at your brother fondly. “How can you be so stupid sometimes, yet so wise right now?”

Sunoo and you talked for another minute, but when you yawned for a good seven straight seconds, you both agreed it was time for bed. Before you fell asleep, you told yourself that tomorrow morning, you’d find Sunghoon and make him be clear with you. You at least deserved that.

—

Heeseung and Sumin were clearly surprised to see you the next morning in the bus, but you told them you didn’t want to talk about it and they didn’t push, although it very obviously had something to do with Sunghoon. As you rode the bus and psyched yourself for your conversation with him, you had no idea he was currently in the midst of a heated argument with Jay. The latter pushed him with force, making Sunghoon’s back hit the classroom wall behind him.

“What the fuck did you just say about Y/N?” Jay asked, venom in his voice and fury in his eyes.

Despite the pain, Sunghoon smirked, wanting to rile up his friend even more. “I said, Y/N’s just as stupid as all the other girls. She probably thinks she’s so much better than everybody, but in the end it was so easy making her fall for me. It was almost boring, really, how easy she was.”

Jay pushed him again. “Don’t fucking talk about her like that.”

“Aw, little Jay is getting upset over his little Y/N? You sad that the girl you like actually likes an asshole like me?”

Jay hadn’t had many reasons to get angry in his life. This was making him discover another side of himself; he didn’t know he could get this angry. He didn’t know rage could fill up his veins like that and make him want to destroy absolutely everything around him, but above all, the person in front of him who’d he considered a friend all these years. On the verge of losing control, he reared up his fist, before Sunghoon said:

“You know what’s even sadder? She used to like you, too.”

His arm dropped. “What?”

“Yeah, in primary school. Didn’t you think it was weird how different she was before and after you left? Her little heartbreak made her change everything about herself just so that people would like her. And now all she can do is lie to everyone. I pity her, really. And to think that she thought I liked her. What an idiot.”

That was the last straw. Jay punched Sunghoon square in the nose, making him stumble back a few steps until he hit the wall again. He held onto his bloody, and possibly broken, nose and looked Jay straight in the eyes, still smirking. Thinking his job was done (but not sure what the job was in the first place), he walked away, heading to the nurses’ station. The scene had gathered quite an audience outside. It was less than ten minutes to the first bell, so already quite a few students were there, but no one had dared to venture inside. Jake, arriving too late to prevent any damage, looked wide-eyed back and forth between Sunghoon walking out and Jay standing inside, fists clenched by his side and panting from anger.

Sunghoon barely spared him or anyone a glance as he left the room. What he did notice though, were a crumpled tuna-mayo sandwich and a banana milk on the floor, looking as though someone had dropped them.

What had he done?

—

You had already run back to your friends and were currently crying for the second time in twelve hours in Sumin’s arms. It was the first time ever you cried at school, and probably also in front of your friends, spare Sumin, so it was a curious sight to most; she took you to another room for privacy. 

There, you practically told her everything you had told Sunoo the night before, including the fake dating.

“Wait… so, you and Sunghoon weren’t actually dating?”

You nodded, embarrassed by your lie.

“I- Why didn’t you tell me, Y/N? How could you fool everyone like that?”

You looked up in surprise at your friend’s harsh words. You probably deserved them, but you weren’t used to hearing her speak in such a way, nor to the cold stare she was peering down at you with. 

“I don’t know… I’m really sorry…” you mumbled, ashamed.

She scoffed. “You should be. I just- I just don’t understand how you can already be living such a lie, and still add onto it. It makes me wonder how I’m still friends with you.” The bell rang right at that moment, and she got up, saying, “Let’s go to class. You wouldn’t wanna be late.”

You followed her, but you felt sick to your stomach. Usually, you could always hide your discomfort or sadness, no matter how bad your period cramps were or how serious an argument with your parents had gotten. But this time, it was too much, and fifteen minutes into the class, you asked the teacher to go to the nurse. Not used to you needing to leave class and trusting that it was for a legitimate reason, your teacher let you off and you quickly packed your bag and left. 

When you got to the nurse, you sat down in front of her and said you weren’t feeling well and wanted to go home. For the same reasons as your teacher, she said she’d let you but needed to ask you a few questions before about your general well-being. You answered them quickly, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible and just go home. 

When you finally were able to leave, you only took a few steps out of the nurse’s office before someone grabbed your wrist, making you turn around. Sunghoon, who was resting in the room next door, had heard your voice and gotten up as soon as he’d heard you leave. His nose was covered in bandages and his eye had started swelling and turning blue, and you mentally thanked Jay. You ripped your arm out of his grip and continued to walk away without a word. You were too tired to argue.

“Y/N, please, hear me out.”

This made you stop in your tracks, but you didn’t turn around. “Hear you out? I’ve already heard enough, Sunghoon. No need to explain, you made it very clear what you think of me.”

You started walking again but he doubled you and blocked your path in the narrow hallway. 

“Y/N, I’m sorry, if you’d just give me a minute-”

“I don’t care that you’re sorry, Sunghoon! Sorry doesn’t cut it. I trusted you. Actually trusted you. You out of all people should know how hard it is to do that. Or was that a lie too?” Seeing him in front of you, your sadness retreated to the back of your heart and you were left with only anger. 

“It wasn’t, I prom-”

“That doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.” You pushed past him and walked on. And this time, he let you go, even though the only thing you wanted him to do was make you stay. You so desperately wanted to hear him out and forgive him, but you knew you couldn’t do that. You had too much dignity, and it would only end up hurting you even further. 

So you didn’t shed a tear the whole way home. When you finally got to your bed, you didn’t have the energy to start crying. You fell asleep, tears quietly rolling down your face. 

—

You slept the whole day, waking up to a soft knock on your bedroom door. It was your mom, telling you Jay was here to see you. Everyone had been surprised to see you already at home when they came back from work or school, but they knew better than to wake you up.

“I’m surprised, you know. He’s gotten so handsome.”

You rolled your eyes at her. “Just tell him that I’m not feeling well and he should go home, please.”

“Oh, I’ve already tried to, honey. The boy is adamant on seeing you.”

You sighed. “Fine. Can you bring him here, then?”

A few seconds later, you heard another knock, and Jay opened the door just enough to peek his head through, asking if he could come in.

“Well, you’re already here, so might as well.”

You sat up and gestured for him to sit down on your bed.

He looked around, taking in the messiness of his surroundings. “You know, I thought your room would be much more… organized.”

“Didn’t Sunghoon tell you? I’m a big, fat liar who hides the truth from everyone,” you said sarcastically.

“About that… did you hear everything he said?” You hummed in response. “I’m so sorry you had to hear that, Y/N. I don’t know what happened to him. He’d never said anything like that about you, and then, all of a sudden… What an asshole. I can’t believe he was my friend.”

“Was? You shouldn’t end your friendship over me, Jay.”

“Are you kidding me? I can’t be friends with a guy who talks about anyone like that, let alone you.” After a few minutes of silence, he asked, “Did um- did anything happen, for him to say those things?”

You sighed deeply. “I’ve already told this story twice in the past few days, so I’ll give you the short version, but basically, we were fake dating, and I started really liking him, and I thought he did too, until we kissed, and he left me completely stranded, and then the next day I hear him say all those things.”

Silence again. You suddenly remembered something Sunghoon had said that you had completely put to the side: Jay likes you. At least, according to Sunghoon. You didn’t know if it was true, but judging by his disappointed face, it looked like it. Seemed like all of your friendships were going to hell.

“Oh,” he simply said.

“Yeah…” you murmured back. 

“Well,” he turned to you, “that just confirms to me that he’s an asshole. Cause no guy in his right mind would turn you down, Y/N. I know I wouldn’t.”

He looked straight at you as he said that. Yep. Jay liked you. It was a nice feeling, but it was also about ten years too late. 

“Do you- do you know what I’m trying to say, Y/N?” he asked, gulping.

You hesitated for a second before saying, ”I think I do, Jay. I have to say, your timing isn’t great.”

He chuckled a bit lifelessly. “Yeah, I guess right now isn’t the best time to say this.”

“I also meant, you know what Sunghoon said, earlier? That I liked you before you left for the US? That was true.”

He looked at you, mouth agape. “Oh, was it…” His head hung down in defeat. “I can’t believe I’ve been such an idiot. I feel like it’s my fault that Sunghoon hurt you like this. If only I’d been just a bit earlier…”

“None of this is your fault, Jay. Please don’t think that. It’s mine for thinking Sunghoon could actually like me back.”

Jay took a deep breath. “God, as much as it hurts me to say, Y/N, I think he did. Or does, actually.” You furrowed your brows at him. “Sunghoon, he has this thing where he goes into retreat mode as soon as he gets too close, too personal. It’s a stupid defense mechanism, and when he realizes he’s let you in a bit too far, he snaps everything closed and hurts you before you can hurt him. At least, that’s how he sees it, I guess. He’s done it to Jake and me a couple times, and it takes some getting used to, but he stops after a while. When he knows for sure that you won’t hurt him.”

You didn’t know what to do with this information, so you just stayed quiet, which Jay took as a sign to go on.

“I’m not saying forgive him. Believe me, if I could smack him into space and never let him see you again, I would. But I think maybe, just maybe, and you don’t have to if you don’t want to, hear him out.”

You smiled at him. “You’re a good friend, Jay. And I don’t mean just to me but to Sunghoon as well. I hope you know that.”

Jay tried to ignore the pinch in his heart at the word ‘friend’ and smiled back.

“Oh, there’s another thing I needed to show you.” His tone was suddenly much more apprehensive, and he looked both sorry and scared to say whatever he was about to say.

He pulled out his phone and searched the thing in question. Before showing you anything, he warned, “Nobody knows who did this. It was sent out to the whole school on a library computer-”

Expecting the worst, you snatched Jay’s phone from his hands. And there they were. Pictures of you from your primary school years, recent pictures of you in your comfortable clothes, at home or in close proximity to your house. Sent out to the whole school, as Jay had said. You were horror-struck. You could feel all the years you had spent perfecting your image and maintaining it crumbling around you as though they were paper. Charismatic smiles and trendy accessories had been your brick and mortar, but a sledgehammer had hit them, destroying your foundations further with each swing.

And that sledgehammer had a name: Bae Sumin. You’d figured it out in an instant. You’d been friends your whole life, she was the only one apart from your family to know about your true face; only she would have access to such photos. You knew it wasn’t Sunghoon because the pictures he had taken that day weren’t there.

If what had happened with Sunghoon had made a crack in your heart, then this had shattered it into a million pieces. The person who you’d trusted the most, who you’d thought would never do anything to hurt you, had done the worst thing anybody could do to you.

“Y/N- are you okay?” Jay asked tentatively. You had forgotten he was there.

“Um, yeah, yeah- I think I just need to be alone for now, if that’s okay.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind staying a while.”

“Sorry, Jay, but I’m sure.”

He looked at you for a few seconds. He’d never felt more distance between you two, not even when you had been oceans apart. “Alright. Call me if you need anything. I mean it.”

You smiled a tiny, tiny smile in response and he left your room. On his way out, your mom hugged him, saying it was nice to see him again and that he was welcome anytime, and he thanked her.

As he walked home, he couldn’t help but bitterly laugh to himself. Even when he confessed, he hadn’t been able to say the words he’d wanted to tell you this whole time: I love you.

—

You didn’t go to school for the rest of the week, the only stain on your perfect attendance record. All of your friends had tried to reach you, asking if you were okay, and you replied in a few small messages, telling them you’d be back when you could. Other people had contacted you, asking if those pictures were real. You obsessed over your school’s gossip Instagram account: the past few days, all the posts had been dedicated to your pictures and Sunghoon’s and Jay’s fight. You had ten missed calls from Sunghoon and seventeen from Sumin. You ignored each and everyone of them, only giving Jay, Heeseung, Sieun and Jiung the time of day. 

On Sunday morning you woke up, already dreading going to school the next day. You could already picture the nasty stares and whispers you’d get in the hallways. You thought about facing Sumin and Sunghoon again, and you thought the worst thing possible would be to have to do it at school. So you decided to wait until they called you again, as you knew they would, and finally picked up their call.

Sumin contacted you first, at eleven in the morning. You agreed to have her come over to your house to talk. When she appeared at your front door, you realized you weren’t sad, angry, or disappointed; you were just confused. You didn’t understand why she’d done it. Looking at her face, you couldn’t imagine her sitting down at that computer and sending out those pictures, writing the comment This is what Kim Y/N is like in real life.

You let her in and walked to your room, your siblings’ eyes burning holes into her soul the whole time. You sat down on your bed, sighed, and said, “Go ahead.”

“Thank you for letting me come here and explain myself. I don’t know what took over me, Y/N. Well actually, I guess I do. Jealousy, as stupid as it sounds.” She chuckled at herself. “I’ve always tried to hide it, but I’ve always been a bit jealous of you, Y/N. You’re the prettiest girl, the smartest, the nicest, and I’m just the best friend. That’s all anyone knows me as. Everybody loves you, yet I know it’s all a facade. And I’m not saying that to be mean, because I know you’re an amazing person even without all the glamor. And when I saw you with Sunghoon, I mean, you saw how I was. I didn't fight with my parents. I was so, so jealous. You hadn’t shown interest in any guy since Choi Soobin and all of a sudden you were dating Park freaking Sunghoon, and he knew about your quote-on-quote ‘real’ face, so I couldn’t even comfort myself that he didn’t know who you really were.”

“Wait- why would you be jealous of Sunghoon and me?”

She took a deep breath. “You remember, freshman year, when I confessed to him and he turned me down?”

“Yeah, but I thought that was in the past.”

“Do you also remember that guy I told you about later on, who I’d gotten really close with but completely shut me off when I thought we were about to start dating?”

Something clicked, but you didn’t want to face it. “Yeah…”

“Well, surprise surprise, they were the same person. Ha. I got mad at you for lying to me, but I did the same thing.”

“Sumin… Why did you never tell me?”

“I’m not sure. When we were in that talking stage, I could’ve bragged about it to anyone, you know, that Park Sunghoon was actually being nice to me, but I didn’t. I wanted to keep him my little secret. And then I confessed, and we all know how that ended.” A beat passes as she takes a deep breath, shaking the bad memory away. “I am over it, it was more than three years ago. Maybe there was a nice part of me that thought he had changed, because you seemed happy with him, and I didn’t want to ruin that. But maybe there was another part that hoped he might hurt you like he did me. And that’s such a shitty thing to do, I know. I should’ve told you when I saw you get involved with him. I can’t believe after all these years, he did the exact same thing to you that he did to me. What an asshole.”

You were staring at the wall in front of you, feeling empty. Why did everything have to happen at the same time? You were just drained of any willpower.

“This doesn’t explain the pictures,” you said plainly.

“Right. When you told me you were fake dating, I guess something snapped in me. I couldn’t believe it was another lie, I thought we had gone past the stage where you hid things from me. So that, plus jealousy, I just went a bit crazy, I think. I really wasn’t thinking, Y/N, and I promise you with all my heart that if I could go back and undo everything, I would. I’m so, so, so sorry. I regretted it as soon as I hit post.”

You looked at your friend and knew she was telling the truth. You believed her, and yet you couldn’t quite look past it.

“I know you are, Minie. It’s just… what am I gonna do now at school? Everybody must hate me.”

“I won’t lie, some people haven’t been saying the nicest things, especially Park’s fangirls. But God, Y/N, and please don’t take this the wrong way, but who cares? They’ll talk about it for a week, two at most. Your life at school won’t be the same, but you’ll still have all of us. I’ve talked to Heeseung, Sieun and Jiung, and they’re not the tiniest bit mad at you. They’re just worried to death. A bit confused too, but mostly worried. And you know what? Even Yujin, Wonyoung and Gaeul, who I’ve literally never talked to before, came to ask me how you were. Jay and Sunghoon are barely on talking terms but they always team up when it comes to practically verbally assaulting anyone they overhear talking behind your back. Jake has to hold them back sometimes but he always glares at those people too. You don’t wanna see Jake Sim glare, I promise you. It’s so scary,” she says in a confessional tone, visibly shuddering just at the thought of angel-faced Jake looking angry, and you can’t help the small chuckle that escapes your lips.

Her face softens as she places a warm palm over your hand. “We all love you and care for you so much, so screw literally every single other person in that school. They don’t matter.”

There was something refreshing about Sumin’s words. The idea that you could live your life without worrying about other people had always been in the back of your head, but you always told yourself you were in too deep to go back. Now that you had been forced to, you understood why you felt so empty: the immense weight of having to keep up a persona, had been lifted off your shoulders. You would only have to carry yourself, and not a second person, which made you feel weightless. You’d just have to get used to it and come to enjoy that feeling.

You took your friend’s hands in yours. “I want to forgive you, I promise I do. And I will. I just don’t know if I can do that right away. I’ll need some getting used to this new life.”

“I completely understand, Y/N.”

“But that doesn’t mean I don’t want you around anymore. And you know what, I’m sure one day I’ll look back at this moment and thank you.”

—

Sumin left a few hours later and you were now waiting for Sunghoon to call you. You waited and waited, until your phone rang with a small ding: he wasn’t calling you, but had sent you a message. A very, very long message. You were very tempted to reply with a I ain’t reading all that. I’m happy for u tho. Or sorry that happened, but you thought it might not be the appropriate moment. 

You opened the message, which had come after thirty unread texts, and started reading, slightly appalled by the lack of paragraphing.

Dear Y/N, 

Is this how you start a long text? I would much rather be telling you this than writing it, but someone hasn’t been picking up my calls. Sorry. I probably shouldn’t be giving you much attitude right now. Where do I even start? The ice rink, I guess. Asshole move #1, obviously. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you like that. That kiss was really really good and I really really liked it. Because I really really like you. And I think I’ve known that for a while now, but the kiss confirmed it. And I was happy for a second, but then I panicked. There’s no other word for it, I panicked. I’ve never liked someone this much before and I was so scared. I still am. I’m terrified shitless. But I know that my fear is completely irrational, and that you’re literally the best person on Earth, which is why I’m writing this. I know it’s cliché to say my mom left me and now I think everybody will. And my first reaction to that is to hurt someone before they can hurt me, which is what I did. But as much as I wanna fight it, it’s always there at the back of my mind. You can even ask Sumin about it. Should I be saying that? I feel like I might as well. I was an asshole to her, and I’m so angry at myself that I did it again with you. I didn’t mean a single word of what I said about you to Jay. Not a single one. You’re not stupid, you’re the smartest and most amazing girl I know, and I never pretended I liked you, because I never had to. I think I just wanted Jay to punch me, really. I wanted him to run to you and make sure you were okay, because I was too scared to do that myself. But I regret doing that so much. I hope you know that. And bless Jay, he’s a real one. He told me to get my shit together and talk to you. I can tell he’s still mad at me but still wants to make things good between us. I was already trying to call you before he said that, but I probably would’ve said something stupid that would’ve made things worse. And I can’t afford that, Y/N, I really, really can’t. You get me like no one does and being with you is the most liberating thing ever, I’m never myself more than when I’m around you. You just bring out the best in me. Well, except for that thing I did. Which I promise I’ll never do again. I am so extremely sorry, and if you wanna hate me for the rest of your life, I completely get it. But I would also be very happy if you didn’t. I hope I’ll see you tomorrow at school. I really miss you.

Your Hoon

You wiped away the tears that had formed in your eyes and typed back:

You’re such an idiot, Park.

I’ll see you tomorrow.

—

The next day, as you imagined, was mostly hell. You’d decided not to dress up as usual: there was no point trying to look good after this, it would only make you seem more ridiculous. You put less makeup on, not bothering to hide your eye bags, and didn’t bling your outfit up with accessories or fancy shoes, opting for your worn-out Converse you’d had since your feet stopped growing. On the bus, where people usually ignored each other, you could already feel the gossip being told about you. You avoided people’s gaze like the plague and sat down next to Sumin. You laid your head on her shoulder and sighed.

“I already wanna go home.”

She laughed, “I know. We’ll be with you the whole day, so don’t worry.”

You spent the bus ride catching up on what had happened when you were gone (nothing much), and although there was some awkwardness there, it was nice being with your best friend. When Heeseung got on, he practically screamed your name and suffocated you by means of greeting.

“I’m so glad you’re back. You know, I think you look really cute in those pictures. All these people are just jealous they don’t look as good as you even when you don’t dress up.”

Sumin shot daggers with her eyes at him and he cringed, saying, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have mentioned that.”

You reassured him, saying that it was fine since it was all you were going to be hearing the next few days. “Might as well get used to it.”

It was somewhat easy to ignore the stares coming your way when you walked into school with Heeseung and Sumin flanked at your sides like bodyguards. When you reached your classroom, Jiung engulfed you in a hug and Sieun was almost crying. How the hell had you gotten such sweet friends? 

In the hallways, some people tried to get reactions out of you by calling you out, yelling liar! or you can’t fool us anymore. You couldn’t ignore them as they were very much in your face. When at lunch, a table of girls next to you was very clearly talking about you in the nastiest way possible, you took your tray and were ready to get up and leave, but a very familiar voice stopped you in your tracks.

“You think it’s funny talking about someone like that?” Sunghoon was practically screaming at the girls. “You think you’re any better than her? I bet you do the exact same thing but are just glad someone else got called out for it.” You weren’t sure if that made you feel much better, but you appreciated the effort.

“As a matter of fact,” he continued as he pulled out a chair and got up on it, his voice getting louder, “I’ve got something I wanna say to everyone.”

Somebody whooped (probably Jake) and you tried to get Sunghoon to come down from the chair, but he just smiled his radiant smile at you and turned to look at the students in the cafeteria.

“All of you who judge Y/N are hypocrites. You wanna tell me you’re all as perfect at home as you are at school? That you never relax a little bit? Sure, she pushed it a bit far- (hey! you grunted in protest), but nobody shows who they truly are to everyone. We all judge each other in this stupid high school, so Y/N did what she had to do and protected herself. If anything, this should make you respect her even more. And it’s not like she did anything wrong to you. She didn’t use her popularity against anyone, so you better not use this against her.”

From the crowded tables in the cafeteria, somebody yelled “Nobody cares!”

Somebody, whose voice you thought you recognized as Jungwon’s, joined in: “Yeah, what is it about you seniors and thinking the whole school revolves around you? We still like Y/N!”

Sunghoon, taken aback, simply said, “Oh. Alright. Well, you better keep it that way then!” and got off his chair. 

He turned to you, already a pleading look on his face and said “Y/N, I’m so sorry-”

But you cut him off right away. “I know, Sunghoon, I know. I think this proved it.”

“I really wanna make it up to you. So just tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it. Buy you a house, move to another country, you name it. I’ll do it.”

You chuckled at him. “You don’t need to go that far.” You looked down, then back at him. “I think I just want to pretend like nothing happened. Like it was all a huge, awful fever dream. Even if I can’t forgive and forget right away, I don’t think I want you out of my life while I figure it out.”

He let out the biggest sigh you’d ever heard. “My God, you don’t know how happy to hear that, Y/N. Thank you so much.”

“Thank you for defending me just now. That was… definitely something.”

He smiled down at you. "I did my best. Too bad those sophomores ruined everything.”

You could feel eyes burning into your sides, so you turned your head a bit and noticed that your friends and the table of girls that had just been gossiping were staring at you, some of them teary-eyed. When they saw you notice them, they all turned back to each other and pretended that they were having some other conversation. You and Sunghoon chuckled, and you realized how much you had missed him.

Yes, Sunghoon and Sumin had hurt you, but you were a strong believer of second chances. Even if it was hard at first to stop thinking about Sunghoon’s voice when he had said those things or Sumin’s intentions when she posted the pictures, they’d made it up to you in any way they could and you’d reciprocated that by being completely honest. No more trying to look perfect all the time; you were human and were allowed to have low moments. Your grades even dropped by two points, because you’d started spending more time with your friends than with your textbooks. You’d spent whole Saturdays at the ice rink with your now real-boyfriend Sunghoon, and had invited the whole crew. Heeseung was surprisingly good at it. You had even caught your little sister Yeeun on a date with the cute Japanese boy she’d talked about. 

As promised, Jay came once a week or every two weeks to have dinner with your family; Sunghoon always insisted on being present. The tension between them had turned into friendly competition, and you could tell the two friends were glad to have each other back. 

You’d never felt so free. Your relationship with Sunghoon felt like uncharted territory and home at the same time; so daunting and exciting yet so comfortable and relaxing. You kept the PDA at a minimum at school, but when it was just the two of you, your whole body never failed to heat up, even in the cold of the ice rink. He had been nicknamed the ice prince, but he was so, so warm.

In the end, everybody found out. But you had Park Sunghoon by your side, so it was alright.

permanent taglist: @zreamy @sunghoonmybeloved @lalalalawon @sd211 @w3bqrl @raikea10 @wntrnghts @moonlighthoon @4imhry @rikisly @loves0ft @iamliacamila @theboingsuckerasseater9000 @chaechae-23 @baekhyuns-lipchain @hyuckslvr @vernonburger (ask to be removed/added!)

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[mrchiipchrome]

Parents

W.C. - 3 k

“Fuck!”

“Language” Lucy replies.

Joining Barcelona at the age of 14 last season had changed your life for the better, sure the balancing of schoolwork and professional football was difficult to say the least but you had the most amazing women around you helping. You moved from a small club in the south of Spain to the giants during the summer transfer window, over the moon as soon as you got the call that they wanted to sign you. Your parents gave you the ‘okay’ for the move, though their jobs were too important to leave so you would get placed with a teammate as a solution.

So when you had packed up what little you needed from your childhood bedroom in your backpack, you set off for the train. One tearful goodbye with your parents later and you stepped foot on the train taking you to the city of dreams.

When you arrived, you got picked up by a member of staff and directly to the training grounds where you would meet the team for the first time and sign the paperwork. It felt like it took 1000 years to sign all the papers but when you were finally done, you could feel the excitement coursing through your veins. 

Meeting your teammates was a success and the prospect of living with any of them had you excited. You instantly got the hint that you would live with the two English women when they were asked to stay after practice. Not making too much of a fuss when they realized they had a teen to take care of was good for you, the two of them already having known that you would join their residence for a couple weeks. And so you moved in, creating an unbreakable bond by the end of the first week with the two women.

—

“Can we go out for ice cream after training? I finished all my assignments.” No one could ever resist your puppy dog eyes, infamously adorable, so when you threw them into the mix you were sure that you would get your sought after ice cream. Lucy slings her strong arm around your shoulder, walking a little faster than she normally would to be able to keep the pace of your long lanky legs. Keira slips her arm around your waist at your other side, the two older women sandwiching you between them as they ‘think’ about your offer.

“Sure, but only if you promise to brush your teeth extra carefully tonight. Wouldn’t want you to get cavities-” Your cheers cut her off as you suddenly take off in the direction of some of the younger players, happy that you would get your sweet treat. 

The two women left walking look at each other with a certain softness expressed through their eyes. They hadn’t been expecting to be thrown into ‘parenthood’ so suddenly but life works how it does for a reason, and to be fair Keira did have a bit of experience, dealing with Georgia and all.

Later that day, Lucy’s followers are blessed with a picture of you sitting across from them at the ice cream parlor eating your ice cream before a picture of her and Keira doing the same. It was a sweet moment between the small family, you had really found your true parents in the two women.

—

Trekking around with a knife and an apple was not an uncommon feat at the Walsh-Bronze household, especially not recently. Keira had banned you from using knives after you had accidentally cut off the tip of your pinky while cooking and had to go to the hospital to have it reattached to the rest of your finger. So now you were stuck with the ugly bandage on your hand and another reason for Keira to not let you do something, but you’re sure that she’s been looking for a reason to ban your use of knives for a while now.

You had already looked everywhere for the midfielder, Lucy had gone out to grocery shop so Keira was the only choice but you had exactly no idea where she was. Just as you’re about to break the hard imposed rule she had set and cut the apple yourself, you hear talking from the living room.

Walking into the room, you immediately spot Keira sitting on the couch talking to someone. At first, you don’t know who’s on the other line, but that is before you hear the heavily accented raspy voice of Keira’s best friend. Leah Williamson.

Both Keira and Lucy think your obvious crush on the defender is hilarious, always teasing you and speaking about introducing the two of you. Yet you had always been able to escape the premises before Keira had ever pressed the button under Leah’s name, going over to Vicky’s or in dire cases your captain’s house.

Your eyes widen drastically, but with Keira not noticing your obvious presence you slowly start to back away and out of the room. You see how Keira’s head snaps up in your direction as you accidentally step on one of Narla’s squeaky toys, producing a sound akin to that of a dying pig. Looking down at your feet and the offending device, the only thing you can think about is how the next few minutes are going to be pure hell and embarrassment for you. The next time you look up at the redhead she’s staring back at you with a teasing look in her eyes and a smile full of mirth, and you just know she’s thinking of ways to torture you.

“Y/n, just the person I was looking for! Come say hi to the people” Her eager movements indicating she wanted you to come closer simply don’t give you another choice, especially now that they know it’s you who entered the room. Walking over to the couch which she sits at, you’re careful with the knife still in your hand as you flop down beside her.

“Need help with my apple, please.” Without even responding, she hands you her phone while taking the things from your hands in a swapping gesture. The first thing you notice is how Leah's face only takes up half of the screen instead of the whole screen, clueing you in on what Keira meant by ‘the people’, it wasn’t a facetime call but an instagram live.

“Hi Y/n, I've heard a lot about you, all good things I promise” The wink she throws you isn’t a flirting one by any means, it’s one of those you throw out haphazardly at the end of one of those sentences like the one that just fell from her lips. And like anyone would in your situation, you stutter out a reply all while a blush overtakes your face.

“H-hey Leah” You pair with a wave as you hear Keira sigh beside you at your obvious awkwardness around people you thought of as attractive. “Keira talks about you all the time, so I’ve heard a lot about you too.”

“Keira was just telling me about her new habit of banning things around the house-“

“I have nothing to do with that-“ Keira cuts you off before you can continue lying about your clear involvement in doing things that you later get banned from.

“Excuse me, wasn’t it you who just had to spend nearly two hours in the ER to reattach the tip of your pinky after an accident in the kitchen? Wasn’t it that whole ordeal that made me ban your use of knives in the first place?” Her exposing you had the blush on your face turning a deeper shade of red as you relent, holding up your non-dominant hand covered in bandages from your wrist up to the tips of your pinky and ring finger. 

“To be fair, it wouldn’t have happened if Luce hadn’t distracted me in the first place. She’s too good at that.” If Lucy hadn’t made you look up by calling your name, then you wouldn’t have sliced through your finger instead of the cucumber and Keira wouldn’t have needed to pick up the bloody piece of flesh to put on ice while the distractor herself wrapped your finger tightly in a kitchen towel.

“What about the time before that, huh? The oven incident? Who’s fault was that?” She speaks as she hands you the now cut up apple and takes her phone from your unsteady hand, the phone displaying Leah’s clearly amused expression at the bickering happening in Spain.

“Gracias Kie” You cut yourself off as you take a bite of the juicy apple you’ve waited for so long before continuing what you were about to say. “That was mostly my fault, but how was I supposed to know that the baking sheet had been in the oven when there were no indications of it being hot” Keira just rolls her eyes at that, having told you multiple times before you picked up the metal that it was hot.

“As clumsy as Alessia then, are you?” Leah reminds you of her presence with the rapidly strung together sentence, and while you just look on confused as you hadn’t ever met any of Keira and Lucy’s national teammates she understands exactly what the blonde means.

“No, Alessia’s more clumsy clumsy while this one” She points at you with her thumb, “is dangerous clumsy. Less trips and falls over her feet casually, this one is barely allowed to use the butterknife ‘cause she might accidentally cut herself. Yeah, them two together would be chaotic. We would need double the manpower to keep them from injuring themself.”

Just as you’re about to retort, you hear the front door open and Lucy calling out for you. Sighing, you begrudgingly say goodbye before taking your leave to help Lucy with the groceries. You hear Keira say a quiet “She has the biggest crush on you” to Leah, but you simply can’t be bothered to react.

—

“Lucy, Luce, Roberta, wake up damnit” 

Being shaken awake by a frantic 15 year old is not something many do, usually at that age you’re more sophisticated and careful as you wake people if you do at all. And yet, Lucy finds herself in the predicament of having to decide whether to wake up or not, but as she hears the fast breathing and feels the hands on her still she decides to wake up.

“Hey, hey, calm down. I can’t help you if you don’t calm down, you know.” Now sitting up and more alert, Lucy pulls your shaking form down onto the bed she shares with the other English woman who has miraculously managed to stay asleep through all the ruckus. Holding you in her arms, she feels you calming down little by little until you’re completely still in her hold. She’s nearly convinced that you’ve managed to fall asleep as your steady breaths puff against her neck, but as you speak her assumptions are proven wrong.

“Had a bad dream, I wanted to make sure you and Kie were alright. If it’s not too much to ask for, could you tell me the story of the moon and the sun again?” Lucy had to hold back from letting the exclamation of adoration out at you immediately looking for her and Kiera after experiencing a nightmare. She remembers telling you the story her own mother had told her when she was a kid.

"Of course I can, it’s no problem” She waits for you to stop shifting around so much and to find a more comfortable position in between her and her girlfriend. When you finally still, she starts retelling the story she’s heard so many times before.

“Before there was anything, before me and you and everyone else on this planet existed there was a moon and a sun. Every night right before the moon would go to bed, it would notice the sun lighting up the sky with its incredible glow. As the moon woke up, the sun would go to sleep and its shine would be gone, the moon would miss the very thing it so longed for. So the moon devised a plan, a plan to not miss the bright light of its long lost love, a plan of great excellence and intrigue. And so the night of the plan came, the moon waiting for the rays of sunshine to overtake the dark of the sky it had been so used to. As the sky lit up with soft rays of orangey yellow, the moon couldn’t think of anything other than how much more beautiful everything was when it was lit up by the sun.” 

Lucy felt the way you had slumped against her halfway through the story, now sure about your unconscious state.

“You’re good with her” Keira speaks from the other side of your body and Lucy smiles at the sound of her voice.

 “Thank you”

—

When you heard that team bonding would take place at the zoo, you couldn’t have been more excited. On the contrary, both of your team moms were less than happy about the choice of location for the activity knowing they were going to have a hyperactive Y/n on their hands. But as luck would have it, the kiddie leash they had ordered for these occasions had come in the week prior. It was one of those backpacks with the leash attached to the back of it that you would see parents with unruly children use. 

After a bit of bribing, they got past the initial protests of you not being a child and got you to put on the dinosaur backpack, they tightened it to make sure it wouldn’t fall off before walking out of the house together.

They made sure to use the backpack function as well, stuffing it with your drinks and snacks. You’re nearly at the zoo when they realize the absence of the memory of you taking your medication that morning, and at that moment they are incredibly thankful for making you wear the backpack.

Watching as you flip Mapi off for making fun of your new accessory, they don’t have the heart to tell you off for the obscene gesture. Not when it was their fault you were getting made fun of in the first place. 

Like always, you gravitate towards the younger members of the team while Keira does the older ones. This leaves Lucy to go with you to your friends and Keira to walk over to hers. 

“Vicky look at my backpack, isn’t it cool?” You skip over to her, clutching onto the fabric hanging over your shoulders as Lucy tries to keep up with your overly energetic self.

“It’s really cool Y/n” Vicky’s words mean a lot to you, her becoming a close friend and a sisterly figure for you with her being so close in age. 

When everyone is rounded up, they buy their tickets one by one and wait on the other side of the gates for the rest. Once inside, you’re rushing around buzzing to see all the animals that you can’t see normally. Like the saying goes, time goes faster when you’re having fun, you soon find yourself eating lunch with half the day being spent with different animals. You and Lucy are throwing teasing comments at each other like usual when an innocent comment starts an onslaught of funny statements.

“Y/n when I was your age-” She doesn’t get to finish her sentence before you start.

“Luce, when you were my age I wasn’t even born yet. In fact you made your senior debut for Sunderland a year before I was born.” That shut her up, not knowing that you had done your research on her. 

The rest of the day goes off without a hitch and as you walk home, you can’t help but wonder why life has been so good to you lately. But you don’t think for too long, instead being happy with the course your life has taken.

But everything everyone can talk about when the pictures of the day are released is how you had to wear the kiddie leash. 

—

Lately you’ve been using TikTok a bit more often, not much more than before but there was a difference. This meant that you had discovered new trends and edits of your teammates, you had even followed a couple of accounts making videos of your teammates to show them later. 

But when you saw the video on your recommended page, you just knew it would be perfect for you to use with Lucy and Kiera. The perfect opportunity to strike comes up when they ask you to join them for a walk with Narla later that day, to which you agree. 

You let them walk in front of you as you slow down, TikTok open on your phone ready to record the interaction. You hold your thumb on the red button as you start by recording yourself mouthing the words before turning it to them and recording them in time with the sound.

Slipping your phone back into your pocket, you decide to edit the clip later and enjoy the walk you currently were on. 

Arriving home, you go to your room and type out the in video caption of ‘when they take you out on walks with their dog’. Before posting the video you type the usual caption, ‘walks with Robert and shaKeira (narla was there too)’.

An hour later the two victims barge into your room and unexpectedly hug you, expecting them to be ‘annoyed’ at you but that wasn’t the case.

“You think of us as your parents?” You see Lucy discreetly wipe a tear from her eye, but you pretend not to notice it.

“Well yeah, you guys have been more like my parents these last few months than my biological ones have been all 14 years they had me around.” The two just embrace you harder at that, and you can feel their love seeping through their actions.

“So I take it you like my mama y papa video then?” The two of them just press a kiss to either side of your face, and you feel truly happy for the family you have gotten since you moved to Barcelona.

Nearly took longer to post this, my hand is burnt. Hope you enjoyed, this was a pretty shit one. Promise the next one is Lessi

[hyperfixatedoncrimminalminds]

Hi, can you do a Spencer Reid x daughter!reader. She has ADHD and she's been hyper focused on her work. She hasn't had a break, so Spence has to force her to have a break/rest. They watch the doctor who for the rest of the night, maybe? Thank you, if you do write this! xx

Spencer Reid X Teen ADHD daughter reader

Request : Hey can you do a Spencer Reid x daughter!reader. She has ADHD and she's been hyper focused on her work. She hasn't had a break, so Spence has to force her to have a break/rest. They watch the doctor who for the rest of the night, maybe?

Third person pov...

Spencer Reid had always been an amazing father. While he was often focused on his work as an agent with the BAU, he had plenty of time and energy left over to devote to his daughter Y/N but lately, Spencer had noticed something different in his daughter's behavior.

The teen had been more focused on her schoolwork than ever before, and he could see that it was taking a toll on her. She had been snapping more than usual at him and it felt like there had been a heavy weight in the Reid household.

Currently he was on his way out the door to work but took a detour to his daughters room, rhe man poked his head into his daughters room to say goodbye when he saw how tired she was, the teen had passed out at her desk.

Her usual happy smiling face full of life now looks like a corpse he sees while on a case, she had large purple bags under her eyes body slouched, her books stacked left and right with notebooks and pens out, she had about 6 empty cups sitting around her.

Spencers heart pains at the state his daughter was in, tiptoeing the Agent wlaks over to his sleeping daughter grabs a blanket from her made bed and gently drapes it over her slumped shoulders.

He then kissed her head and walked out of the room, he had to do something to get her to relax from her studies, as proud as he was he wanted her to be healthy.

He knew she hadn't been sleeping, currently she was studying for the entrance exams for medical school, since she was young Y/N wanted to help people like her dad.

Of course Spencer knew she could do it but you always need a break even he does sometimes, with Y/N on his mind the Agent leaves the house and gets to work.

He sighs as he puts his bag down on his chair hoping the case is local this time, the man then slouched in his chair, behind him his team watch their resident Genius.

JJ, Derek and Emily all shared concerned looks, Spencer wasn't usually that tired or sighed that loud when he gets to work, so it must of been something not work related.

Not even 5 minutes later Derek, Emily and JJ are surrounding his desk, Derek puts his arm on Spencers chair making the man look up at his team, Emily stands in front while JJ stands behind next to Derek.

"Hey guys" he says, this gets a worried look from JJ while Emily and Derek watched.

"Okay what's up Spence you look depressed" Says JJ asking thr question they all wanted to know, Derek shakes Spences shoudlers and the man answers her.

"It's Y/N" he mutters, Emily then slams her hand on the table. "Hold up what about N/N is my god daughter okay!" She exclaims making the Dad laugh.

It was a happy lesson laugh more like he a he exhaled than a laugh, but still it got the attention of thr others.

Of course his daughter was loved amongst the team. "You know she's been busy studying for her exams to get into medical school" he says the guys nod their heads.

"Well im worried, she hasn't been her self lately, she's been snapping at me, and spends every second studying not sleeping, this morning I saw her passed out she looked like a corpse, what do I do?" He says voice in pain at the state of his daughter.

JJ, Emily and Derek all give the young man sympathetic looks as he pours out everything that he's bottled up for weeks. JJ then puts a hand on his shoulder making the genius look up.

"Well Spence, you could do something together that you both love,that might get Y/N to relax" says JJ, suddenly the man is sitting up.

"That's a great idea JJ!" He exclaims smiling larger than ever, suddenly Hotch can be heard from the round table. "We've got a case!" Yells Boss man, the four agent then get ready to leave.

Once the case was solved Spencer had a plan, it was the weekend and he didn't have work so he decided to set up a movie weekend.

He and Y/N would watch Dr who together as it was their favourite show to watch since Y/N was a baby, they always had fun rewatching it and jsut having fun like a normal father and daughter.

That Saturday morning he set his paln in to action, the genius had coaxed Y/N to take a break from her studies, and he had a surprise lined up.

He and Y/N had both always been Doctor Who fans, and he proposed a warm and cozy night in watching the show together.

At first, Y/N seemed too tired to focus on anything besides her work. But as the show went on, Spencer could see the tension slowly starting to diminish from his daughter's face.

By the end, Y/N looked more relaxed than she had in weeks. They even ended up having a lively discussion about the plot points and character arcs as they finished the episode.

After that night, Spencer tried to make it a point to have more fun, family-oriented activities with his daughter. Even if it was hard to pull her away from her studies, forcing her to take a break and enjoy Doctor Who together was the perfect reminder that even overwhelmed students need a little break.

Once that fun weekend was over Y/N was alot more relaxed and let her Dad help her study for the exams, he always made her get more sleep and have fun with him, now they always have a daily weekend movie marathon if Spencer does have a case.

The end!

Hope you liked this oneshot!

Request are open!

Word count: 1052

[studentbyday]

{ 30.10.24 } · { 50 days of routine } · { day 1 }

actually got out of bed at 7:30 though i woke up at least half an hour before... but i slept at midnight last night (need to schedule proper wind-down time), so i was very sleepy and felt awful all around

*struggling through immunology discussion post due today*

i napped later in the morning for an hour and that's when my two mushrooms died bc I didn't wanna be tempted to use my phone when i intended to nap but the other timer i set to wake me up (in case the forest ding didn't wake me up) went off slightly before the forest timer was up and...well, they're dead now. it was a good nap tho and it gave me the energy i needed to go on with the rest of my day

worked on pathology group asst (not scheduled for today but...i did it anyway bc i felt compelled to, not sure if that was a good idea in hindsight...)

sort of reviewed for the microbio quiz but it was half-assed bc i was impatient and then i just did the quiz anyway...it was more stressful than it needed to be bc of my poor memory and i felt bad about that... we'll see if i actually was able to find the right answers in the end when the answers are released...

continued struggling through that immunology discussion post but we made it in the end (i mean, we had to)

walk and read (maybe 30 mins? started reading about cbt and working through the workbook and i like how it seems to be almost exactly like physio appts but for my brain...sometimes i try to work through my issues on my own through word-vomit journaling, but increasingly it's getting difficult to even know where to begin and how to move forward when it both really matters and i'm so tired and clueless and don't wanna give up, so having someone help you make a sane roadmap that aligns with your own goals is nice 👍🏻 there were some reflection activities in the workbook which i filled out too...)

might actually end a little later tn (goodbye proper wind-down time that i was supposed to have, but hopefully making significant progress on my schoolwork + the journaling i did as part of the cbt workbook will have helped satisfy the part of me that usually resists going to sleep immediately) because i have to finish (or get as close to finishing) a microbiology assignment due tmr morning (not first thing, thank God...i don't even remember how i got to be so late with this...gah so many things happening and the non-urgent stuff gets pushed later and later until woops the deadline is tmr!!! 😣😮‍💨) (update: i'm maybe halfway??? luckily it's just a first draft we need to be sending but omfg do i have my work cut out for me tmr morning 😭 icandothisicandothisihaveto)

[orions-tears]

Guardian Angel - Ominis Gaunt [Final Part]

Pairing: Ominis Gaunt x Slytherin fem!reader

Themes: Fluff, angst

A/N: Thank you for all the love on this series! I really enjoyed this one. I have a lot of schoolwork and tumblr is trying to hide me but I'm still taking requests! I'm gonna post a new piece sometime tomorrow so look out for it! Again thank you and I love you all

Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 are linked!

You wake up in a dark room. Merlin, your head is killing you. You sit up and look around. The Hospital wing. No Ominis this time. You frown and try to stand up, but when your head starts throbbing you decide maybe it's best to wait. If Ominis isn’t here, was he mad at you? Maybe you had just been out for a while. You really hoped it was that one. After a while, you feel a bit better and sneak past Nurse Blainey and back to the common room. You see Sebastian sitting by the windows, watching the sea monster move about the lake. You walk over and stand behind him.

“Have you seen a mermaid yet?”

He jumps and turns around, eyes wide. “(Y/N)!” He jumps up and hugs you tightly.

You laugh and hug him back. “I’ll take that as a no then.”

He pulls away. “I’ve missed you. Really. It’s not the same without you.”

You tilt your head. How long were you out? Were you secretly a ghost and he just wasn’t telling you? “What do you mean?”

He frowns and looks back at the window. “You’ve been asleep for a week now.”

You gasp and shove him a little. “A week?!”

He rubs where you shoved him and looks at the floor. “I’m sorry…I tried, I really did. He came out of nowhere and I-“

You hug him again and he goes silent. “I’m not upset, Sebastian.” You pull away. “Where’s Ominis?”

He looks at you, a bit nervous. “I haven’t seen him. Honestly. I’ve been looking for him since we got back but he’s nowhere.”

Now you’re worried. You say goodbye to Sebastian and start searching. What did he mean “we”? Ominis wasn’t at the ruins. At least…not that you remember. You run to the Undercroft. Nothing. The library? Nothing there either. Where in Merlin’s beard could he be? There’s only one other place in Hogwarts that you know of that he alone had access to.

You walk up to the entrance of the scriptorium. He wouldn’t be here. Right? He never wanted to come in and the way he felt when you both made him join you was…No way he’s in here. You walk in and look around. You walk up the stairs.

“Ominis…?”

He’s sat on the floor in the corner, knees to his chest. He turns his head towards you. He suddenly looks so scared and buries his face in his arms.

“Ominis are you alright?” You slowly walk over to him, kneeling down in front of him. When he doesn’t respond you lightly touch his arm. “Ominis please speak to me.”

He tilts his head up, tears rolling down his face. “Any other spell. I should have done any other spell. Why…?”

“What are you talking about?”

He rubs his eyes, unable to face you. Seeing him this upset causes you physical pain. What happened when you were out? “Ominis…”

“I killed him, (Y/N)…Rookwood…”

You gasp and lean closer. “Ominis, you? But how, you weren’t even there…?”

He shakes his head. “I heard you two talking about it and knew you couldn’t do it alone. When I got there he…I heard what he did to you…He went to kill you and I just…it just happened…” He keeps shaking his head. “I told myself I would never engage in the dark arts again. Never. I’m just like them.”

Realizing what spell he used, you scooched in next to him and gave him a hug. “No, Ominis. You’re not like your family. You used it to save me.”

He turns his face toward you. “But…”

“Ominis you did what you felt you needed to. You acted on instinct. You saved my life.”

He faces down at his hands and frowns.

You lean into him slightly and smile. “You’re my guardian angel,” you say, kissing him on the cheek. He turns towards you and feels for your face, putting his hands on your cheeks. You freeze, not knowing what he’s doing as he leans in and kisses you. You rest your hand on his leg and kiss him back. After a minute he pulls away and turns his head away from you.

“Ominis…”

He stands, rubbing his hands on his robe. “I’m sorry…”

You stand up beside him and grab him by the robe. Before he can say anything you pull him towards you and kiss him. He relaxes and wraps his arms around your waist.

Eventually, you both leave the scriptorium and walk back to the common room, hand in hand. “Do you think I can conjure wings?”

“What?” he asks, laughing. “Why would you need to conjure wings?”

You smile and hug his arm. “You’re my guardian angel, remember? Every angel needs wings.”

Tag list!

Let me know if you want to be added or taken off!

@abbiesxox @veylia @blueberrydinosaur @kuukimeioo @sometimesidreamthaticanlevatate @tubble-wubble @thenerdysimp

[vivian18042011]

!!Story Time!!

There are some sensitive words, please leave if you’re not comfortable or okay with these

-So..Hey y’all! :D Hope ya having a great day/noon/night when see this. No need for waiting anymore, story time now! c: It might like an exposing classmates fr ;-;

I already backed to school weeks ago, lots of schoolwork, homework and stuffs..Blah blah blah. There is a guy, let’s call him M, so M and I used to hang out and text with each other before. Nothing will seem weird till M literally called me FAT!! Multiple times! Like bro what is even your problem?! Do you really need to call a girl FAT right in front of her face, then asked “Why do you eat so much? Lay around all days then become so fat like now” He is so f#cking rude like oh my god! If you’re tall with a normal weight then shut the f#ck up already, no one giving a d@mn sh!t about your stupid opinions dude! And I AM NOT FAT D:<

Just a bit of chubby 😭, beside I have huge bones! Not very huge but still!! At least learn how to speak to girls in a nice way instead of saying those things that girls never like or even wanna hear it once in their life!..

-That’s all for now :D Goodbye everyone till here!! Thanks for reading, you’re very awesome! <33

[dreaminghour]

WIP Whenever - QuiAni Modern AU

story context: Anakin a college student who develops a little bit of a crush on the tattooed self-defense instructor he meets at a workshop — so he signs up for his karate class and declares his interest by giving Qui-Gon a link to his OnlyFans. Cue the angst and fluff.

author's backstory: so I've been working on a modern AU for these two for a couple months now, I wasn't satisfied with the one-shot I had written... and maybe a week or so ago I figured out out it needs a chapter two and started writing it 🤣 Keeper can tell you that this has been plaguing me for a while so I'm glad about this development.

oh and here's an excuse I have to share this edit I made ages ago 🥰

600~ words of texting (possible flirting) after Anakin is dropped off as rain interrupts their 'friend date' getting coffee. scene break after the jump.

~

As soon as he was through his front door, Anakin pulled off the damp sweater he was wearing and took his phone from his pants before those came off as well. He hung both sweater and jeans on the towel warmer in the bathroom and quickly sent off a text.

Let me know when you get home :)

It was another twenty minutes, while he was deep in focus editing photos from the night before, when his phone chimed with the reply.

Safe and sound! Just need to dry off before Bishop will let me near him.

Bishop? Anakin texted back.

My cat, was Qui-Gon's reply.

You have a cat??? Anakin shot back, but his phone remained stubbornly quiet. After a moment he went back to editing.

It wasn't until he was done queuing up his posts for the week that he finally got his answer: a photo from Qui-Gon showing a little Siamese cat curled up in his lap, fast asleep. He melted a little, not only because of how small the cat looked in Qui-Gon's lap, but just thinking about the entire scenario. Did Qui-Gon take the picture just for him? Was the photo from another day? He put the phone aside until his heart stopped hammering, tried to focus on pulling up his schoolwork instead.

He lasted five minutes before he finally sent: So pretty! Does he like meeting new people?

I think he'd like meeting you :), Qui-Gon replied.

Anakin nearly combusted.

~

Qui-Gon sat down on one of the benches on the other side of the room from where his friend was testing a guitar, and pulled out his phone. He soon found himself rereading his texts with Anakin. He flicked open Anakin's 'family friendly' gallery and began to scroll before he stopped himself and flicked back to his text messages.

Do you have any pets? he asked.

He put his phone away.

It was a while later, as he was packing a refurbished bass guitar into his trunk, that his phone buzzed again.

Not at the moment, but I grew up with this three-legged mutt.

And attached was a photo of a much younger Anakin (he assumed) with a blonde bowl-cut holding a sleek looking dog who was trying to lick his face off. Qui-Gon chuckled and thought a moment before replying.

Adorable.

He didn't check his phone again until he'd dropped [friend] off, unloaded his equipment, and was back in the car.

You can't just say things like that!

You made me blush in front of my classmates

Now they're teasing me

Truth be told, the thought of Anakin blushing just because Qui-Gon had said a childhood photo of himself was adorable made heat rise to Qui-Gon's cheeks as well.

I'm sure you can handle it, Qui-Gon replied.

The afternoon was a blur, getting himself changed for class, heading to the dojo, so he didn't have time to check his messages until after class had ended and he'd helped wrap a students sprained ankle. Once student and parent were out, and Jango was setting up for his class, Qui-Gon pulled his phone from his locker.

No new notifications.

He opened his messages with Anakin and asked: Busy day?

He didn't get a reply until he was just zipping up his jacket and waving goodbye to Jango.

Yeah, been in the robotics lab all afternoon working on a project

Wbu?

Qui-Gon replied: Went to the music store with a friend and then had classes, nothing unusual.

He walked to his car and then added: Now I'm on a tight schedule though because Bishop won't stand for a late dinner.

Oh so HE'S in charge, I see, was Anakin's near immediate reply.

Are you surprised? Qui-Gon asked.

No, just making note of who's good graces I need to be in

Qui-Gon laughed out loud at that, and the entire drive home he imagined what Anakin's robotics lab must look like.

[paperboy-pb]

☆ About Matthew... ☆

In my experience, growing up disabled, let alone a Special Ed kid, can be incredibly isolating, restrictive, and lonely. Which is bad because as you grow up, you are going to seek connection, and freedom & lots of good company.

So, if I wanted the story of Paperboy to work, I figured our leading kid should 100% embody that opposite.

[TW: this character has suicidal thoughts / childhood trauma & depression.]

The idea behind Matthew Boston is that he holds a deep love for life itself. He's a sweet little boy with big-city-dreams of Broadway & outer space; He's very smart, he's ambitious, curious, (usually) good-natured, and loves talking to people. He's also very creative; always drawing out whatever he notices during school / taking on countless arts & crafts projects at home.

I often imagine that he is made out of musicals, kids' books, the smell of crayons, and stars.

And he's getting bullied by a lot of people, which does tear him down, but no matter how much self-hatred they spark, he still dares to dream about making new friends in new places. Friends who don't mind his differences.

But Matthew is very asthmatic, with plenty of triggers to set it off. He's got Atrial Septal Defect, a hole in his heart that doesn't seem do much (yet), but can easily act up later down the line & make life harder. And let's just say hypotonia (benign congenital) does NOT help.

That's a lot for one little body. He gets sick easily & tires out even easier. He lags behind other kids with lots of physical delays. And when you add it all up, it's enough to land him in Adapted Phys Ed, Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy, & Special Ed altogether.

So when he starts school at P.S. 361, it's a tiny room with only the same select few disabled kids, over and over as years go by.

They're hidden away from the rest of their grade, rarely meeting anyone new. And even among those classmates, Matthew STILL gets singled out:

He's being dragged out of First Period every Monday, Wednesday, Friday for Adapted PE.

He's not allowed to play with the rest of his glass during the main PE & is forced to sit out and watch everyone else have fun.

He frequently has his occupational & physical therapists taking him out of lessons.

He still gets sick a LOT. Goodbye, perfect attendance awards!

And the adults just hound him for every move he ever makes:

"Now, walk up the stairs like THIS."

"You can't hold your pencils like that!"

"Why are sit-ups so hard for you??"

"You need to type the PROPER way."

"You need to come in more often, Matthew!"

And then they get a little older & his peers pick up on it, so now there's a little extra:

"You're a fucking weakling!"

"God, you're pathetic."

"Imagine being too weak for gym."

"At least WE can defend ourselves!"

"You aren't good enough to play with us anymore."

That ISN'T GOOD for a kid's psyche-- especially not somebody who seems made to roam. He's dealt with that his whole life and feels like it just ain't living... and it isn't! And that is why he begins to feel... well, suicidal.

Ableism surrounds him. The schoolwork is "dumbed down," & even some of the people in charge of the Special Services aren't helping enough. The disability pressure is too high. The respect on his name is too low. And he needs change, but nothing ever changes.

Everyone excludes him, mocks him, babies him, gets frustrated with him...! And as long as he's a Special Ed student, he has no chance getting away from it.

This is a boy who dreams of seeing other GALAXIES... trapped in one room. He deals with this all day after day, week after week, year after year, with almost no explanation. His self-esteem is chipped-away-'d at.

And that breeds a Monster in his head; an agonizing lack of self-worth that makes him wonder if he should just do himself a favor and die.

Of course, Matthew doesn't want to die. He loves PB&J's; all of the art he's made; the pigeons on the street; the train lines & skyscrapers; the few friends & family he does have. And he CAN'T die without seeing the stars!

But he DOES want, no, need to live a life that accepts him, stimulates his brain, and lets him take to the sky. Not one that drowns him, drags him down, and suffocates him in one spot.

And the ableism within P.S. 361's Special Ed program just... refuses to make anything like that accessible to him. If he stays in there too long, not only will he be exposed to more trauma, but it's also possible that this could mess up his future. As far as he knows, anyway.

And yeah, Matthew resents Special Ed. But he also resents himself, too. He was put here because of a disability. That disability is part of him. So of course, internalized ableism begins to fester very, VERY badly.

After all, everyone seems to agree that this is just what he needs / gets for "being this way..." right? It's because of his disability... because of HIM that he doesn't deserve the same freedom & respect that the typical General Ed kids get.

The way he's being treated makes him think, "If I wasn't so defective, I'd be worth more than this! I'm sorry! I'm trying to be better, I promise!"

But it's like I said before: luckily, Matthew is VERY determined & hard-working! And he doesn't intend to lay down and die. Not yet, anyway. One way or another, he WILL find a way to leave this place! Whether anyone likes it or not.

Not only that, but... I didn't want to make him JUST a sad boy. Matthew is definitely still an 11-year-old, not to mention an idealist, and it'll definitely show in how he acts.

The world is still magical to him, despite the depression. He wishes on stars or with coins, plays with bugs, believes in bad luck & curses & superstitions. He has a big imagination that often runs wild. He asks a lot of questions and he's always eager to learn.

And sometimes, certain people or things take advantage of his naivety & manipulate him. Or he makes a mistake on his own volition. But he does grow up as time passes. And like any kid, he always wants to do the right thing.

A lot of my personal favorite scenes to write with him are the ones where he wanders someplace new; and as he takes it all in, he gets this look of pure wonder in his eyes.

This boy is full of internal life.

Now, he just needs to fight for an external one.

🪐⭐️📝🎒🚀🌙

[generalluxun]

Fanfiction: Chasing a Dream, Chapter 2.

Having launched herself on this cross-globe quest, Marinette is now stuck with her childhood nemesis in close quarters. It's... not terrible? Then it is. Then it isn't, then it is. Then an akuma attacks. An Akuma attacks? In Venice? Why? Ladybug's on her own to battle it, and this agrgessive akuma puts Cat Noir's absence in stark relief. Even after the battle is won, it might also be lost.

Chapter posted after the cut.

Marinette was in a flurry. Passing off the Ox was the easiest part of it all. She packed while breathlessly firing off the best excuse she could muster to her confused parents. “Last minute thing… opportunity… fashion… Shadowing Gabriel Agreste… school work sent along… variable length… hopefully home soon…”

It wasn’t a complete lie. They would be following Gabriel Agreste. He just wouldn’t know it if everything went well. She intended to get her schoolwork sent to her… somehow. This wasn’t running away from her problems. It was helping a friend, right?

Marinette was ready with a single rolling case when Chloé’s limo pulled up outside the bakery. Marinette kissed her still-bewildered parents goodbye and ran out the door. Jean took care of her bag and soon Marinette was ensconced in the back of the limo with her erstwhile traveling companion.

Icy quiet filled the air. Marinette forced herself not to fidget. Chloé seemed buried in one of her social media feeds. 

Without preamble, she broke the silence. “Give me your email, Du-pain-Cheng.”

Marinette startled out of her thoughts. Two green-eyed smiles had been merging and separating and she couldn’t tell which situation was better or worse. She stalled while her thoughts reorganized themselves, “My email? We’re right here, what do you need to email me?”

Chloé rolled her eyes and leaned in, prodding the air with one finger. “Not for me, for Sabrina. I assume you want to get the notes while we’re gone. She can also submit your homework via email for you depending on how long we’re gone.”

“Oh.” That seemed entirely too reasonable of an idea to be coming from Chloé. Marinette fumbled out her phone to buy more time. “Chloé, I don’t want Sabrina doing my homework. If- If she could send notes, I would be grateful though.”

Being alone with Chloé. Why, why, why did I think this was a good idea? I can do it. I won’t stutter. I can make it through this. This isn’t last year, or even the beginning of this one. I’m stronger now.

Marinette raised her eyes to find a frown on Chloé’s face. “Suit yourself, you always did like doing things the hard way, Du-pain-Cheng.”

Marinette shared her email, and they lapsed back into silence. Marinette was left to stew once more. Left to question herself, and yet not once did she make any move to stop this ball she had set rolling.

From car to airport, Marinette was like a lost sheep being goaded and even physically prodded by Chloé, who walked the terminals and tarmac as if she owned them. Marinette trundled along with her bag; Chloé walked free, and Jean carried two oversized bags while pulling a third. There was no gate. They walked out of the main terminal to a smaller tarmac and crossed to the plane. Marinette felt strangely vulnerable as they walked, and even trotted ahead. The roar of jets coming and going all around them was unnerving in a mundane yet inexorable way. Their plane looked so small among the giants before Mainette remembered, It’s only for the two of us.

Marinette climbed the boarding stairs and went from a world of thunder and heat into one of cool and calm. It was alabaster luxury, pristine. A short service cabin led back to curtains and through them something less ‘plane’ and more ‘entertainment lounge.’ Chloé had already curled herself up into one of the four main swivel chairs. Behind those were twelve luxury sized seats fixed forward. Further back was a cabin behind a closed door, sealed off from the rest of the jet.

Marinette dropped herself into the seat opposite Chloé, taking in more of the cabin's furnishings, including the two screens that dominated the front of the cabin. She’d never even seen the inside of a jet like this, much less flown in one. And I probably won’t ever again.

“Pick up your jaw Du-Pain-Cheng, we just had the rugs cleaned.”

Marinette looked over and saw Chloé had uncurled herself long enough for a smirk. “Hey, you like it when people gawk at all your expensive stuff.”

Chloé sat back and the smirk turned into a perky smile. She touched a fingertip to her lips in a mocking blush. “Guil-ty! Do go on, tell me how awesome I am.”

Marinette struggled not to roll her eyes. She sing-songed, “No one else could have pulled together a private flight in an hour, or would have either."

Chloé beamed. "And that, Du-pain-Cheng, is the complete truth."

One more smug little smile lit her face before the space between them was filled up with awkward silence again. Chloé went back to her phone, curling her legs back into her chair once more.

Marinette tried a different starter. "How long until we take off?"

Chloé glanced up, and this time, instead of confident, her expression looked nervous. She gestured vaguely. "Whenever they get permission and do all the things. The steward should be up front now. Just ask if you want something. It's two hours to Italy."

Marinette was surprised, but Chloé's chair was already swiveling and Marinette's, 'That's it?' fell on plush leather backing. Chloé's chair continued its slow spin though, and revealed the blond again soon enough, but she was even more curled around her phone now. Marinette took the hint.

The answer turned out to be, an hour and a half. Marinette occupied herself with texting her friends. Alya was both proud and thought she was nuts. Nino wanted a souvenir. Kagami thought she was being silly. Mylene was concerned about using a jet for just two people. Rose thought it was the most romantic thing ever, and Juleka just mentioned she hated flying.

Luka was Luka. His reply, 'Don't rush to the end of the song, it's the song that matters,' was cryptic enough to send her scouring Google for references. She found nothing concrete.

They were in the air by the time Marinette raised her head and combined a much-needed stretch with a look around. Chloé hadn't moved. Only her eyes and finger showed any signs of life, continually swiping in the throes of the social media doom scroll.

I should say something. What though? I could ask what she's looking at…and get my head bitten off.

Marinette sank back into her chair, and tried another number.

Marinette : Hey, how's Venice? Is it too soon to text? Your trip was the subject of a lot of the table talk at school.

Yeah, by me.

Marinette waited. She didn't know why she expected an immediate reply. She tapped her thumbs on a screen that stayed resolutely static.

Marinette : Where are you going next? Will you get to ride in a gondola or see some of the other sights? Are you going to Rome?

She waited several more minutes, then put her phone away.

Her companion had still not budged. It's weird, her being quiet. A thought struck Marinette. When have I ever seen what she does at home? Is this it? I figured it would be… what… parties? Shopping 24/7 with a score of servants to cater to her during breaks. Reality, if this was it, seemed very different. Even Chloé couldn't shop forever and… what else did she do?

"Sooo…" Marinette plunged into the silence. "Scrolling Insta?"

Chloé's head shot up as if she had forgotten Marinette existed. The look in her eyes was positively hunted this time, before a sharp veneer slid into place. "If you really must know, yes. I am dispensing my approval to the masses. While we have been sitting here I have liked fifty seven images, three stories, and commented on a dozen. I fill a valuable role, you know. Legions of fans wouldn't know what to do without me. It's much more important than whatever you're doing."

Marinette swiped open her phone. She could counter with her texts to Adrien. That would shut Chloé down in an instant. Halfway into it, Marinette stopped herself. Why am I letting this rile me up?

That was an easy question to answer: habit. Habit of their long-standing feud and Chloé's constant need to put everyone around her down, Marinette especially. That's just it though, need. What would she be if she wasn't putting people down? What's left if she isn't yelling on Instagram? Without eyes, without an audience, Chloé seemed a lot smaller.

And Marinette had learned a good deal in the last year about being bigger. "Do you know much about Venice?"

The change of topic took the wind out of Chloé's sails. She shifted in her seat. "Milan, in the hotel and convention centers," she admitted. "But it's all the same. The streets are just wetter, right?"

The affirmation-seeking act confused Marinette for half a second. The rise in Chloé's voice that might indicate an attempted joke took the other half.

Marinette forced a little chuckle. "Yeah, I guess. At least it's not Pisa, where everything is crooked."

Nervous laughter rebounded between them and died. Marinette wasn't sure where to go next, but Chloé didn't immediately retreat into her chair. 

“It's… your… first time in Italy?" Chloé sounded like someone was pulling the words from her physically.

Marinette nodded. "So far I've only been to Shanghai, New York, and London, outside of France." She hit upon an idea. "Tell me about your trip to Italy?"

It worked. Chloé brightened, and scooted to the edge of her seat. Marinette absorbed an infodump of epic proportions. Chloé had everything to say about the airport, the hotel, (It didn't hold a candle to Le Grand Paris, but was apparently acceptable) and the fashion shows, plural. It seemed a trip to Milan was a yearly thing. Marinette was inundated with descriptions of outfits she had seen in magazines and videos, but with added embellishment that only being there in person could add. On top of it all was the surreal experience of Chloé talking for more than two minutes without throwing barbs her way. Chloé was so absorbed in her retelling that she seemed to forget who she was talking to. Her face lit up as she painted the scene with words, and her venom was reserved entirely for ‘horrid’ designs.

Marinette only realized Chloé wasn’t the only one to lose track of things when her phone buzzed loudly. Chloé bit off a word mid-flow. Marinette peeked at her screen. Adrien! She held up her phone defensively. “I have to answer this.”

The spell was broken. Choé’s face twisted into her habitual pout, and she shrugged one shoulder. ”What ever . We’ll probably be landing soon anyway. Don’t forget your seatbelt, Du-pain-Cheng.”

Chloé swiveled away, and Marinette hated the tiny scrap of guilt that lingered as she looked down at her phone.

Adrien: I’m always glad to hear from you Marinette. Our first day here was pretty hectic. Yes, we got on a gondola. Lila leaned over too far and almost fell in. I saved her though. It’s kind of hard to enjoy much, we have camera crews following us for ‘candids’ in addition to our normal shoot. I don’t know if we’re going to Rome, I know our next big stop is Shanghai though. Small world, right?

Marinette digested the information. She glanced up as if afraid of being caught, but all she saw was the barest outline of Chloé’s profile facing away.

Marinette : Did you have to save her? I mean, right away? That’s mean of me, isn’t it? I’ll admit I’m a little jealous. Shanghai? That’s awesome. Maybe we’ll bump into each other again, right?

Marinette chewed her lip. She had to thread this needle carefully. She didn’t think ‘Lila is going to try and convince your dad to marry you off’ would be something great to lead with. She felt like they might actually be making progress and she didn’t want to ruin it all by acting crazy. Marinette, you’re on a plane to Italy with Chloé Bourgeois, you’re too late for crazy. She huffed at the voice in her head just as her phone buzzed again. She shot another look at her companion then switched it to silent.

Adrien : Haha, maybe a little. I’ll allow it though. Meeting in Shanghai, I can’t be that lucky this time around. While we’re texting, would you mind me asking a few questions?

Marinette: Questions? Sure, we’ll have an AMA. I’m an open book!

Marinette reread Adrien’s texts while she waited, lines popping out at her and wrapping themselves around her heart. Was she imagining things? Was Adrien interested? It was something she’d hoped for for so long, she almost couldn’t believe it. I haven’t even confessed yet! Isn’t that supposed to come first? He has to know how I feel. Her phone lit up.

Adrien : Okay, you can ask back if you want. Let’s see… something simple. Who’s your favorite character in Ultimate Mecha Strike 3?

Marinette’s heart had been in her throat, and now it dropped back into place allowing a nervous, but tickled giggle to slip out. She clamped a hand over her mouth and wasn’t sure if the exasperated sigh from across the way was real or imagined. With a smile firmly in place on her face, Marinette began her reply.

Marinette : I thought you said simple! You know how hard it is to pick a favorite? They each have their own strengths and weaknesses…

Back and forth they traded pieces of themselves until the sudden gut-dropping sensation of final approach had Marinette typing out a hasty ‘Gotta go!’ before stowing her phone.

------------------------------------

It was evening by the time an airport shuttle dropped them off outside the Aman Venice hotel. Whatever brief warmth Chloé might have shown had cooled back into a perfunctory communication. Chloé didn’t seem inclined to make Marinette pay her own way, which was one thing Marinette was grateful for.

In fact, when Marinette brought up the price of the hotel, Chloé simply scoffed and waved a hand. “Du-Pain-Cheng, you could not afford to stand in this lobby without me here. I knew who I was dragging along when this started. Enjoy it.”

The room was opulent beyond reason. The bathroom itself was larger than an entire floor of her home. Marinette briefly wondered what Chloé’s room was like, but Chloé hadn’t even mentioned where it was. Marinette felt lost in the giant four poster bed. She opened the windows, and listened to the night sounds of the city and the quiet lap of the water that came right up to the side of the hotel. This was Venice, a city made for love, and she was all alone.

She amused herself taking pictures of what she could and sending them off to her friends. Responses were sparse though. Excited or incredulous as they were, they still had lives of their own. Marinette considered texting Chloé. We could… hang out? Maybe? The idea seemed alien, and in the end she abandoned it. I’m here for Adrien.

The boy in question texted her just as Marinette was trying to will herself to sleep.

Adrien : Looks like tomorrow is Rome after all. We’re leaving super early. I think we’re going to get shots in the colosseum. If you don’t get this until the morning, I hope you slept well. I’ll take as many pictures as I can, for when I get back. We can go over them when we get that ice cream!

Marinette sighed, but also fretted at the text. Should I text back? Is it too late? Will that seem weird, just waiting for him to text? In the end, and for the second time tonight, she just let it be. Marinette tucked her phone under her pillow and hoped for good dreams to come from it.

-------------------------

“ Rome ? What do you mean, Rome? We’re in Venice!” Chloe was stalking her way down the most insane continental breakfast line Marinette had ever seen. Marinette followed after, cautiously aware of how expensive it all looked while her companion was plucking fruits and pastries onto her plate with abandon.

“He only told me last night, Chloé…” Marinette picked out an orange.

Chloé huffed. “Why does he tell you these things and not me? We need a train to get to Rome, and it takes hours .”

Marinette’s reply was cut off as Chloé all but assaulted an omelet cook with a barrage of Italian.  That was something that had surprised Marinette. Chloé had always seemed like the kind of person to learn only one language, and that begrudgingly. Two seemed unthinkable. Yet she seemed quite able to be a menace in Italian, while Marinette was left struggling through with picking out the things that sounded close to French.

When the flow ebbed, Marinette ventured, “Is it hard to get a train?”

Chloé flicked her ponytail, and growled, “Hard? No, it's not hard. It’s pedestrian. Who knows if they’ll have first class seats? Ugh. If I have to travel economy I might just die. I’ll get someone on finding tickets. So much for Venice. What a waste. God, I’m going to pull Lila’s stupid sausage-locks when I see her for putting me through this, and…. What’s so funny, Du-Pain-cheng?”

Marinette only just realized she was laughing as it was brought to her attention. She slapped a hand over her mouth, and only when she had quelled the giggles did she lower it. ”Sorry.”

Chloé’s eyes narrowed. “Are you making fun of me, Du-Pain-Cheng? Here? Now? Of all places?”

“No! No!” Marinette waved her hands in negation. Sadly, this sent her lone orange rolling across the dining room floor. Marinette winced, tracking its progress with growing embarrassment.

She glanced back, and saw Chloé watching it too. The orange fetched up against a potted plant, and no one but the two of them seemed to notice its grand adventure. Chloé snorted. Marinette giggled again. Then once more the realization set in and they both looked anywhere but each other.

“Go get yourself something to eat, Du-Pain-Cheng, and keep it on your plate this time. You can sit at my table, it’ll make things easier.”

Breakfast was a quiet affair, except the part where Chloé called a concierge and demanded their bags be packed and loaded for a shuttle to the train station by the time they were done. From what Marinette could pick up, this was an impossible task. Chloé didn't seem to care that it was impossible. She wanted it done.

Marinette sank slowly in her seat as the tirade gained steam. She was out of her element here, and had no support. Chloé tearing into the help was every negative interaction she’d ever had with the blonde dialed up to 11, and compressed. It was only once Chloé had dismissed the concierge, and began to eviscerate her now-cool omelet, that Marinette could find her voice.

 “Was that really necessary, Chloé?” Why am I whispering?

Chloé shot her a piercing glare across the ruination that was her plate. “You don’t get anything done unless you scream. Everyone is always shirking all the time. They don’t do things, because things are hard . They fake, and pretend, and try to get one over on you.” She jabbed at Marinette with her fork. “Don’t they, Marinette ?”

There was more to Chloé’s burning blue stare than the question. Marinette shifted in her seat and began picking apart her croissant to burn off nervous energy. “I don’t think so? I mean, everyone’s just trying their best, aren’t they? Yelling doesn’t seem helpful.”

The door slammed shut on whatever had been in those eyes. Chloé snapped her head to the side. “Goody-goody nonsense. It’s ridiculous, utterly ridiculous . Just you watch. Our bags will be ready to go when we’re done. Speaking of, quit playing with your food and eat, Du-Pain-Cheng.”

With that, silence descended on the table. It was a hard silence this time, not just awkward. Marinette picked at her breakfast and checked her phone compulsively to fill the space. She jumped to her feet as soon as Chloé made to stand, which earned her an eye roll. Marinette followed Chloé out, and true to her word, their bags were packed in the lobby, and a doorman was there to help them into a cab.

She can’t be right. This isn’t how you should do things. Kindness is how you get things done. Marinette pulled out her phone and sent a text while Chloé rattled off instructions to the driver.

Marinette : Help! Tell me something inspiring and uplifting. I’m having a Chloé crisis here!

Her phone buzzed just as the car pulled away from the hotel.

Alya : Isn’t everything related to her a crisis? Is it really that bad? Scratch that, I’m sure it’s that bad. I’m surprised you made it to Italy in one piece. Are you getting close to Adrien? I’d say:  Keep your eyes on the prize, Marinette. You’re strong enough to pull through. If you aren’t though, I could start a collection to get you a ticket home.

Marinette snerked, but after rereading the text she stole a glance at her companion. Chloé was once more deep into her phone scrolling, curled against the door of the car.

Marinette : That’s the problem, it’s not that bad. But it somehow just makes the bad stuff worse, and there’s no one else around. It’s so strange. I’ve spent more time around her in the last twenty four hours than in all the years we’ve known each other. What if Chloé turns out to be a person?

Alya : Of course she’s a person, Marinette. She’s just bad at being a person. Nothing excuses how she behaves. Don’t be fooled. You can be all heart sometimes.

Marinette bit her thumb. Alya was right, but what good did it do, being right? Marinette was here with Chloé now, all her avoidance and distancing skills were moot. Marinette glanced at her companion side-long again, but just as she was formulating something to say the car pulled to an abrupt stop. Chloé jerked forward at the sudden halt, and launched into an instant flood of Italian invective at the driver. He responded with equal measure this time. Chloé pulled at the back of his seat, craning up to look out the front windshield. Marinette tilted her head to peek around the passenger seat just as a sharp, metal-rending sound and screams reached them.

Up the narrow street a large blue… fish… shark… thing, thrashed among the cars before diving back into the canal alongside. Marinette caught only a glimpse, but it didn’t look remotely natural. It couldn’t be… She couldn’t take the chance that it was. Instinctively she pushed open her door and leapt out. A sharp grip stopped her though.

“Where do you think you’re going, Du-Pain-Cheng? Get back in here! You’ll end up as tacky fish food! Worse, we’ll be late for our train!”

A million prepared excuses didn’t work when she was a thousand miles from Paris. Marinette tugged herself free, a surprisingly difficult task. “I– I forgot something back at the hotel! I’ll be right back!”

Without waiting, she ran off back along the line of cars being rapidly abandoned. The creature  launched itself from the water again, swallowing a car whole, before diving back into the canal once more. Ladybug can do something, someone has to. Bless this old town’s narrow alleys! Marinette scooted out of sight behind some rubbish, and with a ‘spots on!’ Ladybug launched herself up onto the rooftops.

Her first thought as she scanned the waterways below was: No Cat Noir, he’s missing a ton of fish puns. She picked out the ripples of the creature moving under the water and aimed a yo-yo strike. “Here, fishy fishy. Come see why all of Paris is hooked on Ladybug.” Oh why…?

Her trick worked though. The creature snapped at the yo-yo and held fast. Ladybug braced herself… and was yanked clean off the roof. She clipped a bridge on her way down and then found herself submerged in the murky canal water. She held on for dear life as the thing pulled her through turn after turn. It was luck more than anything else that slammed her into a footing. She used it as a brace and heaved for all she was worth. With a sudden jerk the line went slack. Ladybug surfaced with a gasp then reeled in her line empty handed. “Talk about the one that got away.”

Treading water, Ladybug tried to gather her thoughts. The lack of Cat Noir highlighted itself as ripples appeared heading straight for her. Ladybug splashed for the side of the canal, but teeth clamped around her right leg and pulled her under. She flailed once more, blind in the muddy churned water. Punches and kicks did little to help, the pressure on her leg was overwhelming, and her exertions demanded more air. A blow hit something soft and she was released. Ladybug flailed for the surface, sputtering this time and throwing her yo-yo to gain herself altitude. Jaws snapped at her heels as her yo-yo pulled her up onto another roof.

Down on one knee, Ladybug tried again to focus. Three close calls, and she still didn’t know what she was dealing with. She needed a plan. She needed a partner. Could she use Voyage to get someone? No, it would take too much time to recharge. If this was an akuma there was no way of knowing how long it would last. People were already gone, down that giant maw. Whatever its purpose, it wasn’t here for her earrings. There’s no way Shadowmoth could know I was here, is there?

There were too many variables. One stark truth pushed to the foreground. She’d been lucky so far that her fights had been so very basic. Fight something with an obvious weakness who very much wants to be engaged with the fight. This fight was nothing like that, and she was drowning in the reality of that as much as she had been in the water. Waterbug food? Maybe. It won’t help me see. Get it out of the water? How? What do I do if I catch it?

One facet resolved itself for her. The creature splashed above the surface and began yelling at her… in Italian. She had no idea what it was saying, but it's speech meant it wasn’t just a natural creature. She also picked out the fact it was wearing a comically ill fitting jacket, and had a long pole tied to its piscine body.

Okay, I’m going to bet Akuma. Jacket or pole. Pole? It looks like one of the ones that the gondolas have. It’s smashing cars. It’s as good a guess as any. While the akuma continued to berate her, gesturing wildly with its fins, Ladybug took a chance and lashed out with her yo-yo, hoping to snag the pole. The creature dove seamlessly under the water before her yo-yo could connect though. Of course it can’t be that easy.

The akuma didn’t immediately resurface and Ladybug used the time to summon her Lucky Charm. Into her hands fell … a car jack? “Of all the times to be cryptic.”

Ladybug scanned the surroundings. The first plan that sprang to mind, was to get the beast to chomp down on the jack, forcing its jaws open. While it struggles the pole should be easy pickings. This was the part where she needed her partner. Cat Noir had the skill, speed, and bravery to lure any akuma and make them focus on him. It would make jamming this into the beast’s maw a piece of cake. I’m alone now though, and it’s my own fault. Still, I can do this. I’ve got a plan. I’m Ladybug.

The plan was simple really, get the beast to try to chomp down on her. Use one person to do two jobs. Simple did not mean viable. Sacrificing her water-macaron gave her more mobility, but of course now that she wanted to force a confrontation the fish weren’t biting. Ladybug swam the canals of Venice to exhaustion chasing the akuma, but it preferred its rampage to a polka dot treat. Time and again it leapt from the water, smashed or devoured a car, then dove back into the water just as Ladybug caught up to it. She was getting nowhere but tired.

She pulled herself from the water, flopping over onto old cobblestones and in desperate need of a new plan. Her earrings finally chirped in her ear, putting an urgent punctuation on things. She could tell by virtue of the sun’s position that she had already been at this for hours, not minutes, but didn’t have time to question her blessing.

Maybe if I portal into its mouth? That could get messy. Venom? It hasn’t let me get close. Clout? Punch all the water? Ladybug laughed humorlessly at that image. I should have thought more before getting myself worn out. This is harder than I gave it credit for. Why is this stupid thing even here? What is Shadowmoth doing here? No- Later, I don’t have time. Stupid Akuma just wants to chomp down on cars, taxis actually. Maybe if I was a car I could make him come after me. Wait…

Ladybug sat up. It might work, and she was running out of ideas. She pulled out the fox Miraculous and put it on. With a ‘Trixx unify!’ She became Lady Rouge and pulled out her flute. First she stopped at the first un-wrecked Taxi she could find. She set up her lucky charm and cranked it to full extension, from floor to ceiling in the cab. Second she piped up a skyward illusion of herself, with a big booming voice to match. Thanks for the idea, Shadowmoth .

“ Hey, Sardine! It’s me, Ladybug! You’ve got a thing against cabbies don’t you? Well, I’m here to tell you I’m guarding this one. You think you can take it out? Come fight me, or is your success so far just a fluke? ”

Ugh, I can’t be missing Cat Noir this much, can I? Ladybug shook her head. She had time to wonder if her plan worked before a bestial roar reverberated along the water. A rushing torrent, like a miniature tsunami rippled up the canal at her. Ladybug ducked behind her trap and prayed.

The akuma jumped from the canal up the street and thrashed its way through the line of cars towards her. Ladybug swapped flute for Yo-yo, letting the illusion drop. What I wouldn’t give for Chat’s baton right now. The beast devoured its way through metal, teeth as large as her hand gnashing steel like paper. Three, two, one, it chomped down on the Cab and the charm held. The Akuma’s beady eyes widened and it flailed in place, clenching and flexing its jaw against the obstruction. Ladybug dashed to the side, lashing out to snag the pole. Her yo-yo hit the mark this time, but as it came back to her a flash of white loomed in her peripherals. She raised her arm, and it might have saved her life, though it cost her pain. The Akuma bit at her in its frenzy, and snagged her arm, yanking her off her feet, pinned between tooth and the twisted metal of her own trap.

She was in the air, slammed against the ground, and pitched up again. She still had the pole in hand. As she spun in the air she snapped it and luck was with her, the Akuma sprang free. Gravity began pulling her back to earth, Twisting, she saw the gaping maw turned up to swallow her. Ladybug twisted again as she fell, an over the shoulder toss caught the butterfly. Purification took precious feet of her fall. The yo-yo snapped open. “Miraculous Ladyb–”

Pain, crushing pain. Rending pain saved from gore only by the miraculous magic of her suit. Still, the girl inside was flesh and bone. Blackness slammed down on her as her brain cut off senses in self preservation. She slumped, half in half out of those massive jaws.

“-ugs.”

Pain, but a different pain. The pain of a sleeping limb regaining feeling, but it was her whole body. Ladybug gasped into wakefulness and sat up. A bewildered boatsman sat opposite her, and all around tourists and locals were creeping back to their morning routines. What did– Did I–? The memory replayed itself. I– Ladybug hugged herself, people were starting to gather, but she had no eyes nor ears for them. Cat Noir, is this how it feels, every time?

The voices pierced her thoughts, though she didn’t understand most of the words. Another sound, an insistent chirp, joined them, and Ladybug was jolted to her feet. “Sorry people, I’ve got to bug out!” She didn’t wait for recognition or permission. She latched onto a nearby chimney with her yo-y,o and fled for the dark confines of an alleyway to transform back.

Marinette slumped against the old bricks of the alley wall while Tikki and Trixx hovered anxiously. She had food, somewhere… digging in her pockets she found a cookie and split it in two, “Sorry, Trixx.” The Kwami didn’t seem inclined to rebuke her.

“Are you okay, Marinette?” Tikki asked between bites.

Marinette started with an easy excuse, but a phantom pain across her stomach stilled her, and her answer was a more honest, “No, not really. Tikki, that all went bad so quickly. I’m used to partners, and working as a team. I’m used to having people helping, and protecting me. I’m Ladybug, the idea person. I solve the problems. I– I need to talk to Cat Noir.”

She swallowed, and the lump in her throat finally went down. Tikki moved in to sit on her shoulder, “I understand, Marinette. Hopefully you can see him soon. Until then just remember, we’re always here to talk to, too.”

Marinette smiled gratefully and gave both kwamis little head scritches until they finished. “Alright, let’s get going. We’ve got a train to catch.”

----------------------------------

“WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ?”

Marinette wasn’t ready for this. More than half her brain was still back in the akuma’s maw, and most of the rest was desperately wishing she had Cat Noir’s phone number. She didn’t have a choice though. Chloé had been standing by a pile of their luggage, but she stalked up to Marinette as soon as they made eye contact.

“Sorry, Chloé.” Looking contrite was easy, she was in the right emotional space for it. “I ran off without thinking, and then there was all the screaming, and then Ladybug…”

“ Ladybug? ” Chloé’s nostrils flared and her flushed cheeks reddened still further, “Don’t tell me you were standing around gawking at that useless, no good, excuse for a hero! You were gone for hours Du-Pain-Cheng. You really are that spotted failures number one fan, aren’t you?”

Marinette didn’t have any reserves to weather the assault with grace. She lunged into Chloé’s space, “She’s a hero Chloé, which is more than we can say for you . She was helping people, or didn’t you pay attention to all the screaming and dying ? What would have happened if Ladybug wasn ’t here? Sorry a major villain attack is such an inconvenience for you!”

The unexpected retaliation stunned Chloé, but only for a heartbeat. She snapped right back, “Maybe if she didn’t play with Shadowmoth all across the globe people wouldn’t keep getting hurt! She still hasn’t caught him, not with her entire little fail brigade. You know who came the closest out of everyone? Me , Queen Bee! I had my hand on the peacock miraculous after my third time out! Did she ever get that close?”

It was Marinette’s turn to balk. What? She did? When? Third time? Miraculer? Why didn’t I… I never asked. Damnit, I never asked anyone anything back then. Marinette growled at her not-long-ago self. Trial by fire left a lot of burns. Even with this new information she wasn’t done. Her adrenaline wouldn’t let go of her.

“She’s been close plenty of times! She’s fought harder than anyone, and for what? What does she get? Nothing but beat up, time and time again. She gets to see her partner hurt. She gets to fight and run away because no one can know who she is. There’s no end to it, she’ll be at this forever unless Shadowmoth makes a mistake. Forever, Chloé, can you even imagine that?”

Marinette was panting and shaking. She had the vague notion that people were staring, she didn’t care. She was choking between breaths, fighting tears. She couldn’t calm down, but she wouldn’t fall apart, not in front of her nemesis.

Chloé didn’t look much better. She was as flushed as Marinette had ever seen her. Her hands were balled into fists so tight her fingers looked bloodless as she waved them in frustration. “She has a statue ! Everybody loves her. Who cares what she has to do when she can have that? Why does she even matter to you, Marinette? I thought this was about Adrien . We missed our train. Our ride is long gone. I’m standing here on the side of the road in this soggy Italian nightmare all because you went running off! Do you even care ? No! Chloé will get more tickets. Chloé will figure it out. Chloé knows how to travel. Chloé has money. That’s all she’s good for. Lila might be sinking her fangs into Gabriel as we speak and YOU DON’T CARE. ”

Chloé snapped around. Marinette gulped for air. She’d had too long to stew during Chloé’s rant and emotional reaction was kicking in. Chloé was too close to the truth, and Marinette couldn’t even defend herself. The vital secret kept her lips locked and that meant that Chloé’s truth was the only truth visible. Marinette struggled for words, “But–”

Chloé rounded on her. “WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE, MARINETTE?!”

The blond finished with an ear piercing shriek of frustration. She thrust a hand into her purse and then flung her arm out. A spray of Hundred Euro notes splashed across Marinette, dazing her for the time it took Chloé to grab and struggle several steps under her heavy luggage.

Marinette reached out from the fluttering cloud of bills, “Chloé wait.”

She didn’t turn around. “I’m going back to my plane, Du-Pain-Cheng.”

Marinette knew she could follow her, talk to her, convince her. Well, maybe another me could. There’s only this me right now though, and…

Marinette slumped to the cobblestone sidewalk and began scooping up the scattered money.

[hinatastinygiant]

11 | Plaster

Pairing: Bokuto x Fem!Reader

Escapism Masterlist

Later that evening, you meet up with Kuroo in the school’s parking lot. With a wave and a hug, he greets you before guiding you toward his car. And when you approach it, he walks ahead of you just to open the car door for you.

“Thank you,” you smile as you step inside.

“Welcome,” he smiles back before gently shutting it for you.

Small talk ensues on your way to the diner, but when you arrive and he puts the car in park, a silence befalls the two of you.

“You think he’s alright?” you ask worriedly as you look toward the windows of The Jukebox.

“I think he’s going to try his best not to figure out how he’s really feeling,” he responds.

“Shit,” you mumble as you reach for the car door.

Together, you walk inside and take a seat in one of the booths near the kitchen.

“Should we say something to him?” you whisper to Kuroo as you watch Bokuto juggle three plates in his hands.

“Y/N, he doesn’t look so bad…” Kuroo replies. “Maybe he really is okay without you picking up any shifts.”

“Didn’t you just say he was going to hide how he’s really feeling?” you ask him.

“He hasn’t seen us yet. It just looks like he’s busy, but he’s not alone. He’s still got a couple of workers,” Kuroo shrugs as he looks toward the kitchen.

“Two,” you whisper. “He’s got two other people working with him. Who’s even in the back cooking?”

“I guess you’ve got a point then,” he finally agrees. “But don’t say anything right now. We shouldn’t stress him out any more than I’m sure he already is.”

“Okay, fine. You’re right,” you nod. “I won’t get up and say anything. But if he comes over here, there are no promises.”

“I doubt he will. Especially if he’s cooking, too.”

After your meal, you and Kuroo stay at the diner for a while longer until the diner is quiet and you’re the only two left. At that time, Bokuto finally notices you both and slides into the side of the booth you’re sitting in.

“Hey guys, how’s it going?” he says with an attempt at a smile.

“How’s it going?” you repeat, trying not to come off rude.

“Y/N…” Kuroo calls you softly, reminding you to keep your patience.

With a deep breath, you nod in Kuroo’s direction before meeting Bokuto’s confused gaze.

“What’s, uh, goin’ on you guys?” Bokuto asks almost nervously.

“We wanted to make sure you were alright, Bo,” you tell him. “I was worried. You never said anything about letting me pick up a shift today.”

“Y/N, you have school,” he shakes his head. “You should be focusing on that. I appreciate the thought but I’ll be okay.”

“No you’re not,” you reply with knitted eyebrows. “I’m sorry if that’s coming off rude but just last week you told me that you weren’t okay. I want to help. We both do.”

“Who was working in the back?” Kuroo then adds. “It wasn’t just you, was it?”

“Uh, well Marlene doesn’t know how to crack an egg let alone cook full meals and I don’t trust Al back there. He’d find some way to get hurt and my grandpa will kill me if I let his best friend get hurt when he isn’t around.”

“Seriously? You’re doing it all yourself?” Kuroo replies, looking astonished.

“I’ll be fine, really. My grandpa will get better soon and it’ll be okay,” he smiles.

“So what does that mean about a job?” you ask. “Do you need me to get a letter of recommendation or my high school degree?”

“No,” he chuckles softly. “You can pick up a few shifts… but that’s it! Only a few! You’ve got to focus on your schoolwork.”

“God, didn’t your grandpa used to say that to you all the time back in high school?” Kuroo laughs. “You sound just like him.”

“I feel like I’m turning into him sometimes,” Bokuto replies. “Now more than ever, too.”

The three of you then talk for some time until Marlene comes over, asking if she can go home since there are no customers and the diner closes in ten. After Bokuto agrees, he says his goodbyes so he can tell Al to head home, too, before closing up for the night.

Getting the hint, you and Kuroo wave goodbye and leave the diner. He then drives you back onto campus and walks with you toward the dorm building where you both live.

“Well that was an interesting night,” Kuroo smiles over at you. “I didn’t think I was taking you to a job interview.”

“Is that what it felt like?” you laugh. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s alright. I get it,” he shakes his head. “I’ve gotta admit he was in rough shape. I didn’t know it was that bad…”

“What do you mean?”

“Just that, I didn’t realize how much the diner depended on his Grandpa. I mean, I knew he owned the place and all, but that place is so different without him…”

“That’s why I was hoping he’d let me help him up,” you nod.

“And I’m glad he did,” Kuroo agrees. “It’ll be good for him that you’re around.”

Just then, you arrive at the door outside your dorm. Kuroo turns to you as he takes out his card key.

“Want to come over to my room?”

“I’d love to,” you smile back. “Kenma around?”

“He just left.”

“How romantic,” you grin as he swipes his card.

“Mhm,” he replies, copying your smile. “After you.”

Escapism Masterlist

[w24ith]

Today is July 21st, and starting tomorrow my life is going to get a whole lot more complicated.

Tomorrow, ideally at 5:00 sharp, I will board a plane with my mother and fly to Germany. I will spend several weeks in art courses and awkward conversations with distant relatives (all the while artfully dodging fun topics like my top surgery and whether or not I’m going to hell), and then, when it’s all over and we’ve had enough of all the excitement, we will fly back home.

Normally that’s where the adventure would end, but not this time. No, this time things get a whole lot more complicated because only two days after touching back down on home soil I’ll be back in a car again, this time driving south to my new home for the next four or so years. I’ll run a few loads of laundry, shove everything I think I need (as well as all the things I think I think I’ll need) into several duffel bags, and somehow get it to fit inside the car.

Once it’s all done and shoved into place I’ll be able to look at my room from the doorframe and try really hard not to cry. And since I’m already having a hard time now, four weeks prior to that fateful day, I’m certain I’ll at least cry a little when the opportunity presents itself.

My room is clean for the first time in months now. My desk is empty of everything nonessential, my floor is swept and free of cat litter, and the clothes in my closet are folded for the first time in a year. My posters are still up and so are my guitars, soccer balls, stuffed animals, and all the small trinkets that make this room feel like my own. But soon they’ll either be crammed in a box or collecting dust. Soon I’ll have to decide what items I’ll allow to become relics and which ones I’ll take with me into my cramped dorm room. I’ll have to know that half of my hoodies are still at home, that half of me is still at home, and that the room I have lived in for the last 18 years is now more a museum dedicated to a prior life than proof of the real thing.

I’ve been sorting my clothes into bins since eleven today. Admittedly, that’s not all I’ve done, but sorting has been the word of the day, I fear. I sorted my clothes, my shoes, my school supplies, my art supplies, and even my art itself. All of it is now packed and categorized into three piles: going to Germany, going to college, or staying home.

And I hate it so much - these boxes, the scattered piles of stuff with me in its center, questions of ‘do I want this?’ and ‘do I really want this?’ until it’s all been picked apart like a whale carcass. Perhaps I’m being overly sensitive, (and a touch dramatic to deal with that,) but sorting things like this makes me want to rip out my teeth.

I think this is affecting me so strongly because it’s kind of like proof that all of this is real and happening. I can’t put off the hard parts anymore. I’m a big boy now and have to not only get my shit together, but also figure out which one of the many boxes that shit belongs in.

The last few days have shown me just how much I can despise change. I finished a major art project, and didn’t know what to do with myself once it was done. I cleaned off my school desk of two years and mourned for a spot that was never really mine to begin with. I said goodbye to three friends who will all be going to college far from me, without me, and had no idea how to deal with it on the whole hour long drive back home. Now, packing up the pieces of my room that give it character or make it ‘mine,’ I feel all these crushing emotions and more. As I peel back layer after layer of my possessions, sweep a decade of dust out from under my bed and sort my old schoolwork into piles, my room feels more sterile. I feel like a landlord painting over personality as one would door hinges with white paint, removing the things I love to make way for change. Change that will come, yet I have yet to accept.

God, what a feeling. To know that this thing that I’ve built in my heart and with my hands could be so easily removed. Perhaps when I stand in the doorway, ready to leave on move-in day, I’ll see it as nothing more than a shell of itself. Something that used to be alive that I have bled dry. Maybe I can convince myself that it was never really my room to begin with, and that these four white walls have always been as empty as they are now.

Maybe it will hurt less that way.

July 21st, 2024, 11:11 pm

Edited August 16th, 2024, 1:17 am

[mywifeymax]

Experiment (Yeonjun x Fem reader)

Y/n pov:

*Walking into class I sat down and pulled out my note book just in time as rose walked in and took a seat next to me* “Y/n I just saw a hot transfer student” rose said “Rose stop crushing on boys and focus on your schoolwork”I said “Your one to talk you been liking our senior for 2 years now and you still haven’t confess”Rose said “Will you keep it down and I moved on from that silly crush”I said

*Just as I said that Yeonjun entered the classroom he had his hair dyed blond and he was wearing a sweater with jeans* “You still have feelings for him you can’t deny it”Rose said “Just stop talking right now”I said Yeonjun was different from everyone he didn’t speak that much but he was kind to everyone I admire that about a guy *I sighed as soon as the teacher walked in* “Okay class so today we are doing an experiment I will team you up with your partner”The teacher said “Rose and Kai”The teacher said *I smiled and waved goodbye to her as she walked over to Kai* “Y/n and Yeonjun”The teacher then say *I looked over at Yeonjun as he was already looking at me I felt my heart begin to thudded*

*After class me and Yeonjun went to the library* “So what should we do our experiment on?”I asked “I was thinking a theory on teen romance”Yeonjun said “Why that one if I may ask”I asked “Because that’s the thing with most chemistry in it”Yeonjun said “Ohhh I see then maybe we can give it a try”I said

_

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*I sighed and looked at Yeonjun as he filled out the paper as the couple in front of us talked about it* great I can’t believe I am a junior and I still haven’t dated *I breathed in as I took notes*

*After interviewing the couples we went back to the library* “Can you hand me what you wrote down?”Yeonjun asked “Oh uh yeah here you go”I said *I then handed him the notebook and he grabbed it and begin to type down all of it together* “Yeonjun”I said “Yes?”He asked “Have you ever thought about dating?”I asked “It never really occurred to me”Yeonjun said “But a lot of girls ask you out”I said “They do but I turn them down”Yeonjun said “Ohh I see”I said “How about you?”Yeonjun asked “I’ve been more focus on my studies to pay attention to dating”I said “That’s a good thing to be focus on”Yeonjun said “How is the paper coming along?”I asked “Very well I’m almost done”Yeonjun said *I smiled and nodded* “Goodjob”I said “Hey can I have your number by the way?”Yeonjun asked “Oh uh yeah sure”I said *Grabbing out my phone I handed him it and he typed in his number* “It’s getting late let me walk you home”Yeonjun said “No need I’ll be perfectly fine”I said “I insist it’s dangerous after dark for a girl to walk home”Yeonjun said “Okay fine if you insist”I said

Walking with Yeonjun was peaceful and comfortable “So what are you planning to do after high school?”I asked “I am going to call for business management”Yeonjun said “Oh that’s really cool”I said “What about you what are your plans?”Yeonjun asked “I want to be a journalist”I said “I’m sure you will be perfect at it”Yeonjun said “I’m not so sure about that but thank you”I said *Stopping in front of my house I looked up at him * “This is me thank you for walking me home”I said “Of course go in and get some rest e have to pretension Tomorrow”Yeonjun said “Right”I said “Goodnight Yeonjun “I said “Goodnight y/n”Yeonjun said *I then went open my fenced door and waved goodbye before shutting it and going inside*

*I sighed as I got inside and went to my desk and set my bag on the chair before going to the kitchen and making some ramen Before putting on a study mix and I sat down before doing my homework and rereading over the presentation sheets as I was studying I felt my phone buzzed and I grabbed it to see Yeonjun texted me*

Yeonjun- Hey y/n it’s me Yeonjun

You-Hey Yeonjun!

Yeonjun-Are you prepared for tomorrow?

You-I’m a little nervous but it’s not like I haven’t done it before

Yeonjun-You do good you always do good!

You-You do too Yeonjun I’m going to bed now goodnight Yeonjun

Yeonjun-Goodnight!

*Smiling I shut off my phone before placing down beside me and I turned off the music and my desk lamp before getting up going to my bathroom and I took a quick shower and I brushed my teeth before putting on a pair of pajamas and I tied my hair up into a ponytail before going to my bed and climb inside it and went to sleep*

_

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*Getting to school the next day I made sure I looked good before walking over to Yeonjun* “Hi y/n”Yeonjun said “Hi Yeonjun”I said *Sitting down next to him I sighed* “Are you still nervous?”Yeonjun asked “Just a little but I be okay”I said “You will you got this”Yeonjun said but he doesn’t know that he is the one making me nervous *I smiled and nodded as I pulled out my purple folder and then I saw rose come in and walked to me* “Hey y/n do you want to come to the cafe with me after school soobin is coming”Rose said “Who is soobin?”I asked “The new transfer student I told you about”Rose said “Oh I see and sure why not”I said *I then watch rose walk off and I sighed* “Does always do it?”Yeonjun asked “Do what?”I asked “Always force you to do stuff for her and her crush”Yeonjun said “Sometimes but it’s okay I don’t mind it she just wants them to like her”I said

“Okay up first is rose and Kai”The teacher said *I watched as they walked up to the front* “our presentation is about how many are rejected a year”Rose said “Many students get heartbroken from they’re peers or maybe a little bit older many of us students have so much to learn about dating and love”Kai said *I watched as his eyes scanned rose as she talked and I smiled to myself* It seems like Kai likes rose

“next up is Yeonjun and y/n”The teacher said *Getting up me and Yeonjun went to the front* “Teen Romance isn’t rare but it does have a lot of chemistry in it”Yeonjun began “A lot of people go though that a year the chemistry in it is so high because you have to build a relationship between you and the other person”I said

*I smiled as I packed up* “Goodjob Y/n you did a Goodjob”Yeonjun said “You did too”I said “I’m going to meet rose now bye bye”I said *i smiled and waved goodbye before going to find rose and soobin*

_

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*Getting to the cafe I order my usual drink and so did rose as soobin got a coffee* “So soobin do you got any plans for the holidays?”Rose asked “Hmm I’m going to visit my family in daegu”Soobin said *I smiled and looked down at my phone as they talked* “Hey guys do you mind if I invite one of my friends?”Soobin asked “Not at all go for it”I said “Same here”Rose said *He then texted someone and I went back to sipping on my drink and looking at my phone*

*After 13 minutes someone sat down next to me I was to focus on replying to my friends to look up* “Sorry I ran late”Yeonjun voice said *Looking up I looked at him he looked over at me and smiled* “Hi y/n”He said “Hi”I said “We should go shopping after this and get in some summer clothes since the school year is almost over”Rose said “I agree”I said

*I smiled as I search the store and picked out a few bikinis and some shorts and crop tops that were my favorite I then sighed as I picked out a few dresses before buying them* “Is this all?”The cashier said “Yes”I said “Okay that will be 36.09$”She said *paying I then grabbed the bag and went to where rose was and the other boys I then got a text on my phone*

Ryujin- I just want to say that the seniors will be graduating in a month so you should really confess to Yeonjun sometime soon before he leaves the school for good

You-Thank you for the heads up

*shutting off my phone I looked at Yeonjun* “Hey Yeonjun can we go somewhere privately?”I asked “Yeah of course”Yeonjun said *Getting up I grabbed my bag before we left the cafe and went to one of the most beautiful spots in Korea*

“what is it that you want to say”Yeonjun said “Well I don’t really know how begin to explain but I liked you since I was a sophomore I know it’s silly I thoughtfully I was able to get over my crush on you but that’s not how it went and now I can’t stop thinking about you and the experiment really did not help at all”I said “I want to pursue you y/n and then we can see how things end up after that how about that?”Yeonjun asked “I like the sound of that”I said *I smiled and nodded* “Okay I agree”I said

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*I smiled as I picked out a soft yellow color sundress and yellow matching heels and did my hair nicely and makeup as well before grabbing flowers and walked outside to meet up with rose and kai* “Are you guys ready?”Kai asked “Yeah”I said *I smiled as I got into Kai backseat*

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*I smiled as I got out of the car and bow to a few seniors and I saw rose grin brightly and ran over to Soobin* “Hey guys”Soobin said “Oh hi soobin”I said “Hi y/n”Soobin said *I watched as rose hugged soobin and I looked over at Kai as he looked away and I softly rubbed his arm* “Have you seen Yeonjun?”I asked “Oh uh he is in the old art studio”Soobin said “Oh okay thank you I see you guys around then”I said *I bowed and left them*

*I breath in as I came across the sliding doors to the art room Slowly opening them I smiled as I saw Yeonjun there staring out the window I walked inside* “Yeonjun~ah”I said softly *I smiled as he turn his head to me and smiled* “Oh y/n your here”Yeonjun said “Yeah I wouldn’t miss this day for anything”I said *I smiled and gave him the flowers* “Y/n I need to talk to you about something”Yeonjun said “About what?”I asked “I want to date you but after you graduate”Yeonjun “Oh for sure I can wait that long”I said “Thank you for understanding”Yeonjun said

—-A Year later——

Y/n pov: I have officially graduated I haven’t heard from Yeonjun since his graduation I am slowly loosing hope on him But I’ve made a promise to wait and I stick to it

“hey Miss lee Mr Choi is here now he is waiting in the waiting room”My coworker said “Ah okay I am coming then”I said *Grabbing the file I follow my coworkers to the meeting room and I entered inside and walked to my chair and sat down before going though the slide show on my tablet not paying attention to anyone around me* “Shall we get this meeting started?”Yoongi my boss said *I nodded and then finally looked up to the other side and I almost gasp as I saw who was across from me* Yeonjun he was across from me he looked different he is still handsome but his hair is black now and he looks more manly now “Miss lee please put the slide show up”Yoongi said *I nodded and connected the slide show to the bored* “As you see the Min company has very big rates lately with the products that we sell it went from a small company and now it’s one of the biggest company so that’s why we want to invest in a collaboration with the Choi company and make beautiful progress in both companies”I said “I’ll take the offer”Yeonjun said “Okay then meeting dismiss”Yoongi *Gathering my things I left the meeting room but I heard footsteps behind me*

“Y/n”Yeonjun said *looking over my shoulder I smiled and bow* “Hello”I said “I’m so thankful to run into you I want to have dinner with you if that’s okay”Yeonjun said *I smiled* “Of course just let me grab my things and then we can go”I said *He nodded and smile and I did the same back before going to desk and grabbed my computer and phone and purse before going to Yeonjun* “I’m ready”I said

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It’s been like that since I saw him at the meeting date nights and now it’s official new years I am going to a small dinner party with Yeonjun and a few of our coworkers *I smiled as I walked out of my apartment and walked to his car* “Happy new years”I said “Happy new years”Yeonjun said smiling

*After the party me and Yeonjun went up to his pin house and he crouched down beside me* “I know I may sound crazy but I want you to finally be my girlfriend you were all I could think about so will you be my girlfriend lee y/n?”Yeonjun asked “I love to”I said

*With that we kissed each other with passion*

The end.

[rydrake6]

Vent post: TW for suicide and self harm and School maybe? Idk how to format these.

I know that I don't usually make posts like this, but I just need somewhere to express that I am incredibly fucking stressed out about school. I'm probably at least a hundred assignments behind and I was supposed to work over the break, but I just spent the whole week getting stressed out and hating myself for not being able to get on my stupid school account and actually get work done. I don't know why, but I'm terrified to do any work. Maybe it's a fear that I'm not going to be able to get anything done, maybe my account having my deadname on it has something to do with it, I don't know. Me saying at least a hundred isn't an exaggeration, by the way. Because one time I was behind on FIFTY SEVEN ASSIGNMENTS!!! I had a mental breakdown on the first day of school and wasn't able to get any work done, so I've been behind ever since. It doesn't really help that my financial math class makes no fucking sense and the one time I tried to get help from the actual teacher of that class was more concerned with my grade than actually helping me understand the material. "Do the discussion questions and you'll get a good grade." Motherfucker how am I supposed to answer the discussion questions if I don't understand what they're about? I got a math tutor and even she thinks that this class is too complicated. But I just HAD to go into financial math because I NEEDED a class that I'd actually be using in the world. My other classes aren't even that bad, they're fun even. But I'm so far behind in them and I'm so terrified of going back into that account that I don't want to do them. The fun of learning is lost when I can't think about doing it without also thinking of killing myself or self harming! That's not an exaggeration either. I literally cannot think about getting to the fucking mountain that is my overdue school assignments without thinking about killing myself. Or at the very least, it's hard to not think about suicide when I'm thinking about school. Which is a problem, because I need to be able to do schoolwork, but I can't do schoolwork when I'm thinking "I would actually rather die than do this." The thing is too, I'm passing my class. I don't have straight As, but I am passing. I've even been called a model student by the director of the virtual academy himself. There are just so many assignments and I can't possibly get all of them done and my completionist and perfectionist ass doesn't want me to leave any assignment behind. And because I'm leaving so fucking many assignments behind, I'm beating myself up for this. I always beat myself up about school stuff, because there's not really much going on in my life. Up until recently, I didn't have a life outside of school. I've always gotten good grades, good notes, good behavior, and comments from the teachers saying "Rydrake is full of life and brightens everyone's day in the classroom." I actually used to enjoy school too. Maybe it's the fact that I went to a Waldorf Charter school, but I actually felt accepted there most of the time. I enjoyed the lessons. I had friends. I remember one time in 7th grade, we were coming in from recess and the teacher started talking about picking up trash in the classroom and he picked up a piece of paper and unfolded it. It was a breakup letter and everyone in the class was arguing who's it was. Eventually the teacher wrote on the initials of the people on the board and it turned out to be King George and the American Colonists. It was an introduction to a history lesson. That was probably around three years ago now. That's my best memory from school. I have so many good memories at that school. I have so many good memories, but I can barely remember anything before covid. I still remember the last day before the quarantine, too. We were standing lined up at our classes log (We had logs, wood not documents, for every grade class) and we said our goodbyes like usual. Next thing I know we're doing classes on a screen and assignments in our google classroom. I think shortly after that I started figuring things out.

[aira-writes]

Being Bakugou’s girlfriend

Pairings: Bakugou Katsuki x Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, sfw, headcanons, college au

Warnings: language

Characters are in college.

A/n: been feeling drained lately, so I guess making Katsuki headcanons will lighten up my mood. Hope you like this one!

❧ Katsuki knows you stay up late at night, either doing your schoolworks, watching anime or playing online games.

❧ mostly playing online games

❧ and being the grandpa that he is— to make sure you’re sleeping early and getting enough sleep, he visits your dorm every night, cuddling you in bed.

❧ and as much as he likes to stay curled up in bed with you ’til morning—boys aren’t allowed to stay in the girls room. as if that simple rule is enough to stop him.

❧ he just doesn’t wanna get caught by your classmates cuddling you in bed, again.

❧ it’ll destroy his reputation when he's actually a softie for you :>

❧ so when you’re already snoring softly, he gives you a soft peck on the forehead and gently leaves the room making sure to not wake you up.

❧ thank god you’re a heavy sleeper

❧ and being the heavy sleeper that you are, you had the tendecies to wake up late.

❧ and Katsuki being Katsuki, to wake you up, he sets up an recorded voice of him on your phone, saying “wake up dumbass, don’t let me drag you out the bed and shower you myself.” and that always does the trick.

❧ the first time you ignored this alarm, well, Katsuki actually ended up dragging you out of bed and almost had to shower you if it weren’t for you whining “I’m up, I’m up!”

❧ Even tho the girls’ dorm is on the other side of the building, Katsuki always arrive at your door 7:00 am sharp so you can go to class together.

❧ “Isn’t it a little early for class?” you whined.

❧ “we’re eating breakfast, dumbass. Don’t wanna let you starve.”

❧ “aww, you’re bein’ sweet, Katsu!” you teased.

❧ “Tch. ’mn-not! I just don’t wanna hear you nag all day, complaining how hungry you are.”

❧ and seeing Katsuki being all red and flustered is enough to make you giggle.

❧ after eating breakfast at a cafe of his choice, he’ll take you in front of your classroom and leave with just a nod.

❧ still the same old shy Katsuki you fell in love with in high school. You thought with a smile.

❧ Atleast he lets you hold his hand in public now :>

❧ since you suck at cooking and mostly just order takeouts, Katsuki made it a habit to always cook lunch for the both of you, since he also grumbles about the cafeteria food being unhealthy.

❧ Every day before lunch, Katsuki doesn’t forget to send you a text that says “rooftop at noon, baby.”

❧ and make sure you arrive on time, ’cause this grumpy man is not eating without his girl.

❧ don’t get your hopes up that if you beg enough, he’ll feed you with his spoon, ’cause he won’t.

❧ he’ll let you feed him tho :> if you threaten him of not giving him cuddles.

❧ him chewing the food with a snarl on his blushing face, grumbling how he doesn’t wanna be treated like a damn baby.

❧ poor Katsuki can’t say no. It’s YOUR cuddles that lies on the line here.

❧ after lunch, he’ll take you back to your classroom and he’ll bid his goodbye by giving you a simple nod.

❧ you’re not surprised by this ’cause your boyfriend isn’t just into PDA

❧ but sometimes you like to tease him by standing on your tippy toes, and stealing a short kiss on his lips before he leaves.

❧ giggling and leaving a flabbergasted red-faced Katsuki in the doorway as you ran inside your classroom.

❧ “d-damnit, dumbass!”

❧ after class, if his classes are finished early, he’ll wait for you outside your classroom—vice versa if your classes are finished earlier than his—so you both could go back to your dorm

❧ Katsuki doesn’t need to drop by his own dorm because he knows you’ve been stealing his clothes

❧ He’ll just pick one shirt of his from your closet to change into

❧ and because he doesn’t want you eating unhealthy and crappy takeouts for the rest of your life, he insists on cooking dinner

❧ you’ll get a “just sit there and be pretty, princess. We don’t want to burn your kitchen now, do we?” if you tried to help

❧ so with a pout on your lips, you’ll just sit there in the dinner table, watching your hot boyfriend with his biceps sticking out of his black sleeves shirt as he cooks, is it just me? But he’s so attractive when he cuts those vegetables in a fast pace

❧ and you’re not gonna complain 'bout that. duh.

❧ After dinner, you’ll volunteer to clean up the table and wash the plates—your boyfriend cooked, it’s only fair you wash the dishes.

❧ ofcourse he’ll insist on washing them himself but a glare from you insisting you’ll do your part is enough for him to back off.

❧ “Okay, okay. Geez, calm down woman.” he’ll say with a chuckle.

❧ after all the chores are done, you’ll take a shower before cuddling with him—you’re not gonna sleep and cuddle without taking a bath. Just no.

❧ if you have schoolworks, the least you could be able to do is to work on them for an hour and a half before the grumpy Pomeranian grumbles about you not being in his arms bed

❧ so to shut him up from his constant nagging, you’ll just get in bed with him

❧ enjoying the warmth of being in his arms, feeling his calloused hands softly running up and down your arms as he tugs you closer to his chest

❧ the whiff of his familiar cologne, mint and a lil’ bit of musky smell will enter your nostrils and you won’t mind ’cause he just smells so good.

❧ “g’dnight, baby.”

❧ you’ll smile upon hearing that and you’ll say back a “goodnight, lord explosion murder.��� , giggling

❧ and that’ll earn you a grumble and a lil’ smack on the ass from him

❧ you’ll bury your face in his chest more until you’ve fallen to a slumber

❧ so when you’re already snoring softly, he’ll leave you a soft peck on the forehead and gently leaves the room making sure to not wake you up.

❧ and the cycle starts again

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