#i need to do more creative art but i dont have goddamn time for anything else than drawing from pictures</3 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

theropoda · 4 years ago

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3, 4, 6-8, 11, 13-17, 19-22, 26-30 uwu

WOO LAD THAT’S A LOT THANK U!!! this got long and i wrote an essay or two LOL so im putting it under a readmore!

3: Best game you’ve ever played? WEEEELLLL.......let me preface this with two things: one, i am a FAKE GAMER as in my laptop is not at all made for gaming, it’s piss poor, so a big chunk of games i’m interested in is because i watched a playthrough of them lol. i have a 3ds but only 3 games on it (animal crossing new leaf, tomodachi life, nintedogs & cats). second, i’m very bad at choosing favorites of things.....BUUUUT .....i choooooose, in no particular order, OFF, pigeonetics, elder scrolls oblivion, pathologic classic HD!! i’m more than likely forgetting a few though, so sorry about that

4: Worst game you’ve ever played? as i said above, cannot choose favorites, neither can i choose whatever the opposite of favorites is but...uhh, does lif even count as a game? like lif, the stupid little furry flash game i remember playing on some shady website. it was surprisingly very active with a BUNCH of people there but i kept dying like every 5 seconds....AWFUL

6: A game that’s changed you the most? WELL define Changed.....ummm aha first thing that comes to mind is OFF. it’s one of those things where you never knew you wanted something so fucking bad until you saw it--and it’s like that for me. i NEVER knew i loved that odd, surreal, colorful, “looks playful and simple in some parts but incredibly violent and unnerving in other parts” aesthetic til i played it. like aesthetically i love that game to BITS and something about it just stuck with me til the end of time.

later in life (meaning, past year or so) it changed me because it taught me a lesson about storytelling and creative endeavors. a very useful lesson. which is: things don’t really need to have a meaning. stories, art, music, writing, whatnot, while it CAN be deep and meaningful, while you CAN use it as a way to communicate with the world about all kinds of heartfelt things, it can also be...nothing, really.

once i, as usual, got ridiculously overwhelmingly sad about small things. specifically seeing other people around me come up with all kinds of deep and meaningful characters and stories, sometimes putting them into webcomics or writings of theirs, and they were all so well-thought out and detailed and what i envied most was people put a lot of themselves and their experiences into them, venting and coping through them, whilst also making these larger-than-life grandiose complex stories and worlds and so on and so forth.

it made me look at my own ideas and get mad/frustrated at how shallow they were. but then i remembered OFF and i felt better because Fun Fact, mortis ghost has a now-abandoned dA account and if you go through the comment section on his profile, he answers a lot of fan questions and he mentions several times that the game didn’t really have a “meaning”, it didn’t really have a “deeper story” or moral or anything, really. i’m paraphrasing this but i vividly remember him saying “i wanted to make a game, so i did”.

that made me feel a lot better because it made me realise that sometimes art--especially stories, in my case-- doesn’t NEED to be DEEP or have MEANING...sometimes it can just BE!!!! sometimes it really can just be all about AESTHETICS like who GIVES a shit if there’s a hidden meaning if you take the first letter of all of your characters’ names and put them backwards, sometimes all that matters is if they just VIBE with you y’know....

yume nikki is similar in this regard bc that game doesn’t have any story other than “collect egg” and yet it’s so impactful. that game doesn’t have a story or meaning it just IS........ :) GOD THATS SO LONG IM SORRY ABOUT THAT but yeah. funny violent ghostbusting baseball man is a game that changed me :)

7: A game you’ll never forget? OFF AGAIN LOL,,, it’s just so memorable because of how unique it is. visuals, soundtrack, story, everything is so memorable. unforgettable. oh god you can tell how much i love this damn game can’t you

8: Best soundtrack? yakuza 0, OFF, there is a picture (another game by mortis ghost, again composed by alias conrad coldwood who also composed OFF), pigeonetics (the entire soundtrack of which is here), jojo’s bizarre adventure all star battle and eyes of heaven, silent hill 2 & 3, undertale....probably forgetting more but all of these...earcandy

11: Hardest game you’ve played? i am a shitty gamer so this is Most games i’ve played lol!! but uhh..well you see. hardest game i remember playing as of recent is pathologic classic hd in which it’s...not only hard to understand what any character is saying at any given time lol but also, i don’t think it’s HARD it’s just...you need to focus. you REALLY need to fucking focus and pay attention in this game. so i wouldn’t say its HARD, but i’m only putting this here bc it’s in recent memory.

i say recent memory because the true answer is susceptible to “yeah, but now you’re older, it must not be so hard.” as in if i played it now i think i’d have a way easier time. but when i was around....10-12 years old i had several ps3 video game adaptations of animated movies and i had SUCH a fucking hard time with them. g-force, bolt and up in particular were fucking HARD. like genuinely, the hardest time i had EVER had in my live playing video games is tied to these three fucking games. g-force and bolt ESPECIALLY. one particular level in bolt took both me AND my sister around a year to fucking finish.

again, i was baby, so i bet i’d have a much easier time with them now that i’m 17. but for now, in my experience, bolt and g-force for the ps3 were harder than pathologic classic. i think icepick lodge should take a few notes for them for pathologic 2.

13: A game you were the most excited for when it wasn’t released yet? STREETS OF KAMUROCHO...i spent the entire day of its release anticipating its launch lol

14: A game you think would be cool if it had voice acting? hmm..most games i like and know about do have voice acting so i dunno....i guess it would’ve been kind of cool if morrowind had like, full proper voice acting. but i can understand why it only voice acted things like greetings and battle insults because GOD that game is SO...complicated...and as a result, the conversations are so lengthy and text-full. playing morrowind is really like a goddamn book! if it was voice acted i’m sure all that information would have to be shortened bc i know no one is going to fucking voice act two whole paragraphs

15: Which two games do you think would make an awesome crossover? pigeonetics and yakuza in which instead of being about the criminal underworld it’s about shady and unethical pigeon clubs, breeding, racing, etc etc...a lot of illegal shit does happen in the world of pigeons especially when it comes to racing; prized racers have been kidnapped and held for ransom before. and then there’s Avian Cucking: The Sport, where people breed the sexiest pigeons (horseman thief pouters), release them outside to seduce other people’s sexy pigeons, and bring them back and keep ‘em, drama ensues. will kiryu ever escape his past as a professional pigeon-napper, and find solace in his new life as a pigeon hobbyist? find out now by playing YACOOZA......

JOKES ASIDES i don’t know i really don’t....umm, pigeonetics and animal crossing somehow?? :O... like, instead of managing your own town it’s managing your own loft!...orrrr, the jojo games (all star battle & eyes of heaven) with yakuza, because i think they’re somewhat similar because they’re both haha Wacky Silly AND serious over the top fighty-fighting.....or maybe a crossover with OFF and discover my body, which, despite being an incredibly short and obscure indie game i still love to bits for what it’s worth. WAIT ANIMAL CROSSING AND MINECRAFT THAT WOULD FUCK SO HARD OH MY GOD

16: Character you’ve hated most? From what game? i can’t think of any character i like, HATE...with a burning passion.. there are a few i dislike or have a complicated relationship with though.. i’m not interested in the series anymore but ouma from drv3...i’ll admit that he is a bit fun sometimes, especially in the very early beginning he’s a likeable brat but as the game progresses he becomes more irritating than anything and i have an issue with him in regards to writing, despite the fact that i have never been awake in any english class ever lol. it’s too long to put in this already long post but i’ll keep it at that. if you like him, well, good for you for finding joy in something i couldn’t! but he just doesn’t do it for me.

AH I JUST REMEMBERED....MINE......FROM YAKUZA 3....maybe i’d change my mind if i watched a playthrough of y3 again, because i think you always absorb something better on your second watch (tho i honestly Dont have the energy to do that all over again, the yakuza games are too fucking long), but i really hate his writing. spoilers for y3 but, i think mine’s writing, alongside other things in the game, were super messy...and a big part of why i hate him is that not only is he one of those “could’ve had great potential but fell flat” sorta guys but also his love for daigo is seen as some fans as good gay rep and i?????/.............um....WELL let’s just say that, i think people nowadays will see any gay character ever in any circumstance and say it’s good gay rep just based off the fact that A Gay Character exists....he was Not, good gay rep imo....he was not, let alone, Good. .........

17: What game do you never tell people you play? can’t think of any games i wouldn’t tell people i play.. idk exactly what this question’s asking. does it mean what game you don’t tell ppl you play bc you’re embarrassed about it...? i’m not very embarrassed by any of them. the only thing that comes close, i guess, is uhh lioden and wolvden. i’ve only interacted with those communities a LITTLE TINY WEE BIT, yet of what i’ve seen it’s a goddamn dumpster fire and i’d never want to be associated with them lol

19: Which game do you think deserves a revival? i’m well aware it’ll never happen and that it’s more a wet dream than anything but...PT/silent hills..... on a more realistic/”could happen” note, PIGEONETICS!!!! SERIOUSLY, it’s an amazing game about amazing animals and it teaches genetics in a very simplified and efficient way!! genetics is SO hard for me to understand, i fucking hated studying it but this game really helped me understand how it works AND its super engaging and interesting!! HOWEVER, of all the pigeon genes we know of, only a handful were seen in pigeonetics and i’d LOVE a sequel that employs new game mechanics AND new genes!! i wanna learn about bronze and stencil genes! i wanna learn about phenotypes like grizzled and pied!!! genes like sooty and dirty!!! @ UNIVERSITY OF UTAH GENETICS DEPARTMENT PLEASE IM BEGIGNG YOU

20: What was the first video game you ever played? earliest memories of Gaming involves me at my aunt’s house playing two games: super mario brothers and some kind of trapeze game. i don’t remember anything else though

21: How old were you when you first played a video game? i can’t remember but i must’ve been REAL tiny.... 6-9 years, maybe??

22: If you could immerse yourself in any game for one day, which game would it be? What would you do? immerse myself meaning go into their world...? huh....on one hand i’d like to go in the world of yakuza 0 to play in the arcades and do whore related activities but i’d also love to go into the world of animal crossing (and i’m pretty sure i’d be some sort of generic dromaeosaurid in that game!!) and shop, chat with villagers, do chores for them, go fishing, bug hunting, eat delicious fucking food like the apples mangos peaches cherries etc etc.....OH AND FOSSIL HUNTING THAT’S THE BEST PART!! though it would definetly be a little weird, to be a little dinosaur and finding a fossil of a...little dinosaur....i guess the non-sentient species went extinct and the dinosaur i am is some kind of, descendant of a sapient non-avian dinosaur that survived the k-pg extinction event...oh but who cares all i want is a cool little ambulocetus fossil or something. and some cherry pie :)

26: Handheld or console? my old ps3 just went kaput one day years ago so i haven’t used it in years so i can’t compare well... but i’d say handheld, because it lets me like DO stuff more...would love to get a console one day, a ps4 maybe but i’m kinda worried it’ll make me stay in one room all day wasting away my time when there’s other stuff i can do, y’know? but something handheld like my 3ds, on the other hand...i can do stuff with it. i can take it to my room and play it between breaks i take as i clean the room and fold my clothes, i can watch something on the tv and play the game during ad breaks, i can take it outside too if it has charge to last me a while! so....handheld i guess

27: Has there ever been a moment that has made you cry? yakuza 0 and undertale in particular have ALMOST made me fucking bawl with many of its moments....yakuza 0 especially, after that Fucking Ending i had trouble sleeping because oh my fucking god. video game people SAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

28: Which character’s clothes do you wish you owned the most?

29: Which is more important, gameplay or story? HMMM....well, if i were to play a game with a shitty story but really good and fun gameplay i’d probably continue playing it for the gameplay. but if i played a game with shitty gameplay but an interesting story, there is a chance i’d play it more for the sake of the story but also i might just quite and see the rest of the story on youtube or something. i’m more likely to go through a boring story for fun gameplay than go through boring gameplay for an interesting story, so i guess gameplay is more important to me....that is, WHEN i actually own and play a game as opposed to when i just watch someone play a game because i don’t own the game but wanna know abt the story lol

30: A game that hasn’t been localized in your country that you think should be localized? i have no idea how video game localization really works....but i assume localizing a game in india would mean something like, removing content according to cultural norm and also somehow translating it into the 22 official languages..? or just two or three language if it’s tied to a particular state, which seems way more doable. i honestly have no idea? i’ve never interacted w the indian gaming community that much to be honest, all i know of it is of the video games i’ve seen sold in some game stores and a few whispers about like solid snake or whoever from my school’s cafeteria....the most popular games here, to my knowledge, are those very streamable games like fortnite and PUBG and your call of duties and whatnot. those generic shooters. and even then, that honestly isn’t the “indian” gaming community bc this country is so FUCKHUGE, it’s just tamil nadu. one state.

soooo, according to what little i know of gaming interests in where i live, i don’t think any of the games i like should be localized here bc i don’t really think there’s an audience for it as far as i can tell :( maybe animal crossing? it’s a fun little games for all ages and i think it has a chance of becoming popular here, so maybe that is worth a shot! but i can’t think of any other game that i like that really has an audience here (other than Me lol)

#asks #stommevrouw #THANK U EVIE THIS WAS SO FUNNNNNNN #WOOF haha this made me tired #im probably hitting the bed now! thank u!!

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deludedandlostcause · 4 years ago

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Hiiii! So this might be pretty weird to say BUT I kinda wanna share

I've been sort of in this fandom, but mostly only lurking. I follow people but don't necessarily interact with them. My main is mostly about fictional stuff, aes etc and I didnt want to admit that I'm a larrie on there because of the backlash this fandon gets and im in no mental state to let that happen. But it made me feel so goddamn guilty because it meant I never reblogged (or even liked since I didnt want to be one of those ppl) any of the art/gifs etc that you guys made.

SO today I finally caved and made a sideblog, so that I can support you lovely ppl and reblog your stuff! And your au will be the first one i reblog even tho I dont have any followers on there!

Thank you so much for making it, its very creative and so fun 💛💛

Hiii! Omg, don’t worry. That’s not weird to say at all! My journey in this fandom has been pretty similar actually. I also have another blog where I post aesthetic stuff and that’s where I started on tumblr. I lurked from there for about half a year while I did my research on Harry and Louis and pondered if it was worth creating another blog just for 1D. Bear in mind, this was 2011-2012, and I never actually blogged about them there because I didn’t want to mix 1D posts with the type of things I usually shared in that blog. So I totally get that you don’t want to blog about 1D on your main either, nor do I blame you for not wanting backlash from this fandom (that, unfortunately, seems to have become more and more ruthless over the years -- since you have already created a sideblog, my advice would be to curate your dash very carefully! We larries are a rowdy, messy bunch, but most people are pretty friendly 🥰).

I did like a bunch of posts from that blog though (mostly masterposts, to be honest) and as you can imagine the like to reblog ratio wasn’t even a problem back then, so that obviously never even crossed my mind, nor did it play as a factor when I decided to create this account. Then I “lurked” in this blog until last year. I just liked and reblogged posts, never even wrote in the tags. And I don’t know exactly when this like-reblog difference started being an issue but I felt like maybe I should starting using my tags to at least give content creators a little feedback on their work. Sometimes just a little “omg this is so pretty!!” can make someone’s day.

So when I feel frustrated when people don’t reblog something I’ve worked hard on it’s not about the numbers, you know? If it were about the amount of notes I would reblog my own posts a bunch of times to increase that number but I hate doing that. Which, by the way, this isn’t me pointing fingers at anyone! (I have to reblog my own things sometimes! Most content creators have to do that!) I just mean... I don’t care if one of my other edits, like my edit of Louis with snow or my Harry x Venus moodboard, don’t do that well, because that was a one-and-done kind of post and they don’t take that much time to make, you get what I mean? It’s nice if people like it and write nice things in the tags, but I’m not mad if it’s not reblogged as much.

With my Reality Show AU it’s a whole other story, though. Again, it’s not about the numbers, but I need people’s feedback to keep going. I want to read what people thought of it, and that obviously won’t be possible if people only like it and not reblog it. Each part of this AU takes me days to make! And I know there are a bunch of other creators in this fandom who could do a much better and quicker job than what I’m doing but, unfortunately, this is what you get 🤷‍♀️

Anyway, this is not me fishing for compliments or whatever. I don’t want that, at all. I’d actually rather not have anyone say anything if it’s not genuine. But I would really appreciate it if people started showing their own appreciation for other people’s work through reblogs, so it can reach more people who might really like that kind of content.

And THANK YOU! A LOT! I don’t care if you don’t have any followers. The fact that you reblogged all the parts and wrote some nice little things in the tags made my day! 💗 You really have no idea what it means to me. I appreciate your support immensely. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

#anonymous #asks #why the fuck do i talk so much #i'm really sorry it took me so long to reply #i wanted to take my time answering you #clearly i needed a lot 💀

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thestralwarfare · 4 years ago

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A ramble of sorts.

So if y'all know me, y'all be knowing my mental climate, its not the best, at least not right now it isnt.

I'm at an impasse caught between crossroads that extend, beyond the regular 3d visual and clichè "crossroad".

It's more of reaching the dendrites of a neuron and having to choose which specific synapse to travel across.

Basically, I'm a dumbass, now I know what you're gonna a say, no you aren't blah blah blah. But consider this.

I am.

In the world of humans and social interaction and its evolution to shrinking the world in terms of connectivity and accessibility, we tend to get caught up in the endless spiel or drivel that you have to be readily accessible at all times regardless of who you are and what you do.

I agree with that to an extent, some instances it really is the difference in life or death, so say from the view of medical professionals, asking for help, giving the location of a patient that needs urgent or emergency aid, it's basically paramount now to have it integrated right? Right.

But consider this,

I'm tired, I'm exhausted, I'm in no where emotionally or mentally able to extend myself more than my mind and after basically running that damned event I lost more of my sanity than I thought, I'm finally starting to put the pieces of my mind together and it's like I'm being bombarded with colossal meteors.

As to who or what is rolling out these mental near death blows doesn't negate the fact that I'm not able to deal with it well.

I've gone softer than I was.

I was more resilient than this, I had a heart of glazed glass but now it seems as though life wants to reenter this seemingly inanimate organ.

Why must my heart bleed? The only things that come from my empathy and feelings end up being painful. No one truly knows how to deal with someone with empathy well at least none that I've truly met.

But I try to understand how people won't be able to tell who you are or how your mental state is or how you actually on social media look doesn't reflect the mental load that's on your plate.

We are across screens communicating (mostly) via written words. It's obvious you dont see the panic ridden near corpse of a body that reels out those abysmal hysterical jokes, or the Voldemort under the bench at kings cross station appearance of my heart.

You dont know the human you are dealing with. You dont know how deeply they feel. You dont know who they really are and how they are fighting tooth and nail to stand up for themselves and be strong when all it feels like is a façade to them.

Standing up for myself?- selfishness

Wanting to heal myself (a task that I do all the time because I'm not gonna waste anyone's time)- selfish

Building confidence in myself when I dont know what it feels like- an impossible attempt at grasping the void caught betwixt stars

Loving myself- okay I'm failing at this because I am disgusting etc etc body dysmorphia periodt.

The other things I'm working on deal with anxiety, PTSD etc etc etc thanks for coming to the Ted talk periodt take 2.

No one or maybe very few in this modern age, would truly understand what it is liketo be raised to be a people pleaser, to sacrifice who you are, burn your very essence, your core, lose your path in life to help someone then when it's time for you to finally try to heal yourself. It's as if you are going to a kingdom you called home to find ruins, no familiarity no way or know how of what to fix or where to start from. You just stand there paralyzed with warm piss running down your legs cause you are afraid of what you see or rather, dont see anymore.

On top of thatttt

The people that say they care, developing attachment to them.

"Having to deal with such strong emotions that the smallest feeling of care from someone feels as though they are the only one rooting for you, you begin to idolize them, to need them, to crave them to become dependent on them."- as per the draft of this here post.

One day out of the goddamn blue,

Its night, no twilight, no stars, no moon, no foothold nothing.

It hits. No warning, no flag in the distance heralding its return.

It's a guest I've entertained for decades. Depression.

This time she bought gifts,

- lack of feeling joy in what would normally bring joy to my life such as art or music or anything creative tbh

-apathy, self explanatory but when it hits no one is truly able to understand how deep it cuts the ties that you hold, it takes away more than just the superficial and deep emotions, it takes away your reasoning as to why those emotions were there or if those emotions were even real.

-sui ideation. Self explanatory again but it's never been this strong and I've never had to hold myself back as much as I've had to do these past weeks.

-low mood, if y'all thought my final finals and that thing that happened then had me at my lowest, you would be right, but getting significantly close to that again....it was exhausting having to deal with it.

-low energy and moving slower than before

-change in appetite, from binging to starving myself

Then imagine while having these wonderful events occurring having to take a look at yourself from an outside perspective and seeing what it's doing to them, the people that say they care or have feelings for you.

To feel like you are wasting their life, too feel that whatever you shared is nothing but a farce because no one can truly care for a disaster. Hurricane skinned and magma filled veins.

You see, it doesn't matter what anyone says over the Internet it's hard to ascertain how much someone really means what they intend to say. Communication extends beyond words and people often times tend to forget that.

You can say that you care or that you had feelings, but there was no way to show it.

There is no real reassurance.

What could be better than sinking without dragging others down with you.

My closest friends have suspected something is up, the feel the change in the air as well.

It's like we are all prepping for it.

Will I or won't I?

The urge is there, the pros of it far outweighs the cons.

It's better if everyone that says they care leave.

It's easier that way.

Its always easy to lose the memory of the shape of smoke.

Tl;dr this human has pretty much tied up most if not all loose ends.

Those that care will move on to others, it's the way of life and I harbor no I'll will. I only want the best for everyone always.

Those that dont care, I also want the best for you maybe even more so, because I know your feelings are genuine and never had to second guess it.

To the fam, twas lit, like an atomic bomb.

Let's all be real here no one will miss me.

My fight isnt over, I'm still struggling to survive, as to why I'm even bothering idek anymore.

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ladyofpurple · 5 years ago

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hi im still not dead btw, which is me trying to be Sarcastically Casual and Blasé except now that plague 2: electric boogaloo has basically cancelled modern civilization for the time being it actually functions as useful info and a genuine status update.

i realize it's been months since i interacted with tumblr basically at all so for anyone interested here are some brief highlights of The Road So Far:

• norway's on lockdown. went to the pharmacy to refill my meds and the mall was fucking deserted. i could go into detail about changes/safety measures/ the general Vibe, but i won't. the important thing is that it felt genuinely apocalyptic/dystopian in there and i've had the heebie-jeebies ever since.

• i bought my first ipad a couple weeks ago and have basically lived in procreate ever since, and it felt good to finally be creative again (check out my art ig lol). except it died overnight and i have no idea what happened, but figuring how to get it fixed during nationwide quarantine is gonna be real fun.

• everyone is playing the new animal crossing except me because i don't have a switch. i am displeased.

• changed my add meds. they seem to be working better, although i'm still trying to work out how to remember to eat. but, like, at least i'm accidentally hitting my weight loss goals with minimal effort in a totes not unhealthy/unsustainable way /s

• i've played so much two point hospital it's not even really fun anymore. i am still playing two point hospital.

• mortal kombat is super fun and younger me who refused to play it for the sole reason of "well i already play soul calibur and they're basically the same thing except mortal kombat is 'gritty' for no reason and thats dumb" was a moron and a square. sorry i can't hear your whining over the snapping of this dude's spine i just ripped out and strangled him with. for the aesthetic.

• i want to write something. i'd rather draw instead. i can't draw the way i want to and finish those pieces i was already working on because my ipad decided to be a little bitch. instead of doing anything creatively fulfilling at all (because that would mean COMPROMISING on my WHIMS and we can't have that) i just self-flagellate by spending hours watching youtube videos i have no interest in and would rather not waste time on out of spite towards myself. don't worry about the logic, there isn't any.

• turns out being told i can't go outside is precisely the boost i needed to absolutely NEED to go Do Things, which is a very sudden heel-face-turn from the mentality of "apathetic hermit" i've embodied the past 4 years. coincidentally, i now understand what cabin fever is.

i'm sure i'll think of other things that nobody asked for, but i hope everyone who sees this is staying safe!! (and, like, people who don't read this too, obviously. but they can't hear me so.) anyway uh. i have a twitter if that's your thing, which i post my art to sometimes + my artstagram is linked there. not to self-promo or anything, but on the off-chance you genuinely wonder where i go and what i do the months where i dont post shit on tumblr i've been using ig and twitter in general a lot more recently bc it's just. less effort than tumblr lol

but yeah stay safe stay home and wash yer goddamn hands xoxo

#Lady of Purple's slice of life #coronavirus #its weird being a shutin bc the world is falling apart and im just dissociating thru it bc my day to day is EXACTLY the same

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personagf-moved · 6 years ago

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alphabet & soft questions ✨

I was tagged by my bb’s @prksjmiin (alphabet ask) and @joonieblossoms (soft ask) and i didn’t want to make two separate posts so im gonna apologize in advance bc i decided to stick both posts together :’) dkdkkdkd yall aint gotta read everything but if u do ily and im sorry i write novels on novels dlfksdkf

i’ll tag @koyasdad, @1ovegf, @joonlit, @sleepyyyoongs, @constellationstars and @capgi 💘

honestly feel free to do either one or both or none if u want dkkdkdkd i just wanted to tag u guys bc ily

Alphabet ask:

a // age: 21

b // birthplace: new jersey!

c // current time: 1:17 am

d // drink you had last: coffee

e // easiest person to talk to: my brother when he isnt being an absolute fool

f // favorite songs:

aint it fun - paramore

trivia love

honey - kehlani

abbey - mitski

moonlight - ariana grande

g // grossest memory: i was in the city one time and a bird shit on my forehead. i think about it at least twice a week

h // horror yes or horror no: H O R R O R Y E S B A B E E E Y Y Y Y Y Y Y im the absolute worst person i’ll dead ass watch a scary movie/video or read horror stories by myself just bc.

i // in love: with my whole ass soulmate namjoon. i luv u string bean man

j // jealous of people: im not even gonna try to lie i am a very jealous person and i am so sorry about it but i really cant help it lmfao. blame my scorpio venus i guess

k // kids of your own someday: when i say i have been thinking about this everyday.........! i wanna have it all i want the kids the white picket fence the dream house everything. i cant wait to be a mommy one day and love n support my bb’s :’)

l // love at first sight or should i walk by again: we a whole ass fool on main and believe in love at first sight!!!! i really do believe soulmates are a true thing and if a love is destined to be across an infinite span of lifetimes and universes then it will always find its way back. when you know, you know, and i genuinely believe that.

m // middle name: padilla

n // number of siblings: 1 older brother, 1 half brother (older), and 1 half sister (older)

o // one wish: to find true love

p // person you last called: my manager bc i had a work question lol

q // question you’re always asked: “why are you like this” (usually friends @ me when i wild out...which is like everyday), “are you mad?”, “how old are you REALLY?”, “how’s your brother?” (bc he ghosts all family n i have to speak on his behalf like always fsdfjksdf)

r // random fact about you: i once used a horrible bootleg copy of the force awakens to make a star wars crack video dubbing the part in shrek when he first meets donkey over the scene when rey first met bb-8 and it went viral and has like 200,000 notes and even had articles written about it. also i had a weird fascination with jar jar binks and danny devito when i was in high school and i had a habit of making either one of them my icon on school accounts so i could make people laugh when they emailed me or saw me in a word document skfkkkfkf

s // song you last sang: “abbey” by mitski :’(

t // time you woke up: exactly 10 this morning and it was weird bc i picked up my phone and it had JUST turned 10 when i looked i was so shook lol

u // underwear colour: she be black

v // vacation destination: paris bc im a basic bitch :’) also japan/all asian countries. i wanna connect with my roots more :/

w // worst habit: yeeting the fuck outta people’s lives when i think they’re getting too close/when i get overwhelmed. im sorry im a flighty bitch @ anyone i’ve ever ghosted :( i love anyone who’s ever tried to talk to me and its never ur fault, i just get the urge to escape sometimes and i’m trying to fix it

x // x-rays: omg @ tori dead ass me too tho, i had x-rays when i broke my arm when i was around 6 :o

y // your favorite food: my mom’s spaghetti! and sushi. also i love any and all filipino food but specifically i like nilaga and kare-kare oooo baby

z // zodiac sign: we’re a proud libra sun

Soft ask:

What’s the smell of your shampoo?

we got them fruity scents up in here we keep that shit smellin like a goddamn strawberry field take a fuckin whiff babes

What’s your aesthetic?

the moon and stars, soft pink and purple sunsets with a burning red on the horizon, sunrises as well, paintings and generally all art revolving around flowers and the celestial, pretty pastel pink and yellow, the sound and smell of rain falling against the window while being curled up in bed uwu

What’s your favorite time of the day and why?

lately it’s been night time. i generally get more creative and feel more at home during the night. i miss being a morning person tho.

What do you most like about the beach?

not a lot fklsjdjfkslkdflksdlkf i usually only go to get a tan and walk the boardwalk with my friends, but if i had it my way i would never step foot in the ocean for the rest of my life sdjdjdjdjsj we dont trust her!!!!!!!!!

What do you worry about constantly?

when i’m gonna figure out what i wanna do with my life lol. i took a year off to think about it but all i ended up doing was working myself to exhaustion and getting comfy in a work only mindset and now i’m only even more confused about what i want to pursue. i’m just glad im going to chicago next week because i feel like a change of setting for even just a week could give me a much needed reset on my mindset going into the next year. i worry about the future but the problem is i worry about the present too lol. oh well, we’ll figure it out!

What is a song you’ve cried to before?

oh boy...

trivia love

moonchild

first love

she used to be mine - waitress soundtrack

20 something - sza

26 - paramore

the letter - kehlani

landslide - fleetwood mac

when you see my friends - mayday parade

and many........many many more...... skskskks music is my main emotional outlet so naturally im gonna cry over anything that reflects my heart

What are some relaxing tips for your followers?

as The World’s Number One Most Stressed Out Human Being™️ i am definitely in no way fit to give advice on how to relax LMFAO

but i guess something that always works for me is putting on music i KNOW will make me sing a long or make me happy to distract me from the nerves i’m feeling. also putting on my favorite comfort movies to make me feel better (they’re big fish, scott pilgrim vs the world, and spirited away btw lol)

What are some things that make you tear up?

the ending of coco, seeing my mom cry, or anyone i love cry tbh, when children are neglected/abused, thinking about the world i’ll have to bring my future children into and how i’m going to be able to teach them to stay strong and bright in the face of it, lyrics that hit too close to home, absolutely anything tbh i cry easy

What is your favorite from each sense?

sight - the view of my cherry blossom tree against a pink sunset in the spring of my childhood home, a person’s eyes and how they light up when they smile, especially when they crinkle as they laugh

smell - the earth after rain, a forest in autumn

taste - my mom’s cooking, good coffee on an early morning

sound - beautiful melodies and harmonies to accompany them, a baby cooing, birds chirping at sunrise

touch - my pillow when its nice and cool, a cat’s tummy, a baby’s cheeks, fingers running through my hair

What is an alternative reality you’d like to live in?

one where im married to namjoon n we have a lot of smart musical prodigy babies who have his dopey smile and i live comfortably in our big ass home in korea where i raise our babies n get that good pipe down every night like i should

jk i wanna live in a reality where magic is real and i can cast spells and live my best life as the true witch that i am

What are some troubles you face on a daily basis?

for starters im ugly as shit so theres one

if we mean practically then i have really bad knees and i recently busted them again so its been really hard getting up and down stairs lately and bending over

but idk theres not really much. emotionally i just tend to get withdrawn and timid in public so it can be hard for me to speak up when i go out

What is one scene from a book that makes you really sad?

unfortunately i haven’t read as many books lately as i did when i was younger...so a lot of my memories are from books that i read like as a kid lol......THAT BEING SAID i think rue and finnick’s death in the hunger games was truly heartbreaking to read, the spine of my copies of both books have cracks on those pages bc i had to read it several times just to really believe it. also i thought it was written so heart wrenchingly well that i had to go back. also in looking for alaska when pudge, a man who loved to know people’s last words, realized that he would never know alaska’s last words. im also really thankful for that book bc it introduced me to wh auden’s poetry and to this day he’s still one of my favorite poets of all time.

Say something to your followers:

thank you thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU for following me and for some reason deciding to stay after how many times i act up on the daily. all jokes aside i really appreciate every single one of you no matter the number and i sincerely hope that you always have love and joy in your heart and that 2019 treats you well. i HONESTLY mean it when i say that i am always here if you guys want to talk or send me things or roast me or talk shit seriously i wanna hear it all and talk about it all i think all of you are so interesting and so beautiful and i’d love to get to know more about you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS! yeet!

#this is soooo long im so sorry oh my god

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tenderlyrenjun · 2 years ago

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oh god all that sounds rough.. im so sorry for ur loss. i hope ure taking the time u need to grieve and let the pain take its course :/ also, i flunked an econs final last semester and had to retake the mod so... Cs and Ds get degrees!!! 🫠 sending you all my love (not that it would help at all but.. just wishing u well :( )

if it's any consolation.. i love your new fic ideas <3 and i get really excited reading your stuff, even if i dont always come on ur asks to tell u. absolutely adore your imagination and creativity and am considering turning on notifs for ur blog 👀 i would have interacted with u more when u posted ur renjun ones (which i really enjoyed but 1. i rarely read renjun fics since he isn't one of my ults 2. i was preparing for finals and shouldnt have been on tumblr in the first place lmao 💔) (also the fact that u got me reading hrj stuff,, ?? when i dont usually ?? hello ?? i deadass see him in a different light now and it's ur fault 💔 i literally dont have space in my brain to get bias wrecked anymore) ANYWAY i really enjoyed reading privacy, i kinda j fell into it.. all the pining and the banter and how sweet they are to one another and PLEASE the goddamn could-haves / would-haves leading up to them finally running into each other and REALISING THAT THEYVE BEEN UNDER EACH OTHERS' NOSES ALL ALONG good god YES i dont even watch bridgerton but the way u set everything up was chef's kiss

i know u love to talk abt ur stuff so i'll talk abt it with u <3 that new jeno fic ure working on... sign me tf up ✅✅✅ u only wrote one scene but i am HOOKED like i cant wait for the plot... istg the wet dream thing is so??????? UGH the way just one dream is going to absolutely change EVERYTHING

and ALSO my heart yearns for new axis 💔💔 I HAVENT FORGOTTEN ABOUT IT 💔💔

sorry, I'm just seeing this.

I'm processing stuff; I'm in therapy (I constantly make posts about it). It's horrible but also good at the same time. Cs and Ds get degrees but not letters of recommendations 🙃

tbh, most times I feel like I come up with lazy story ideas, like, I kind of just merge various tropes and plots into one fic, but the product is just ... lazy. idk. you're also 100% not obligated to come into my ask box every time that I'm online or anything; you do not owe me anything, and I'm not entitled to your thoughts about my stuff. Like, you definitely do not have to read my stupid ideas about renjun ._. honestly, my fics can probably be superimposed onto different members if you think about it; it's just arbitrary that I see a certain member in the light of the fic.

And you should take time away from social media if you have other things to do; it's really not important to talk to me anyways. I'm just here, hanging out, 'cause I don't have anywhere else to post or talk about nct, and it's not really important. it's just a hobby, nothing special here.

but I'm glad you liked privacy. I've been thinking about it for awhile, since season 2 episode 6 The Choice, but I just didn't write it ... until i did. Tbh, people keep saying that they don't watch bridgerton (I literally do not know more than one other person who has seen through season 2), and I was on the fence about it too, but Jaemin mentioned that he liked season 1 so I tried it out again and s2 is a lot better than s1. But in terms of the fic, idk ... I kinda saw someone else do a bridgerton inspired fic, and I got irritated at, like, the western-specific history, which is dumb because everyone is entitled to their own writing, but I just feel like there's not enough Asian art or Asian history. Like, everything has to be set in America, in an American context, in American English, etc., and it gets a bit tiring, but I also recognize how pretentious that sounds, so I just write my own fics set in Korea, in a Korean/ish context, in the Seoul dialect.

The jeno fic (Married) is out now!!! I hope it doesn't disappoint. I spent like two weeks writing this, rewriting every intro paragraph like 5 times over so that everything flows.

Yeah, I'm thinking about new axis and I'm periodically writing it. I just ... don't really see people being interested in that series, sorry. I'm going to write it though. I'm just a little ... traumatized ... from posting the baseball au stuff because that was when people kept telling me that my writing sucks and that my fics are a disappointment

#off anon asks #about privacy #about married #about the baseball au

0 notes

turntechhex · 7 years ago

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all of them B)

Significant Other Asks.

okay its under the cut you shit

1. Tell the story about how you met.

the first time avi and i actually spoke was in a stream i was holding and i was just about to close it off because nobody popped in but then he did and then that lead to punk rock points

2. Was it a gradual increase of trust and love, or was there a specific moment where you knew “I want to be with this person for a long time”?

it was gradual for me but it hit me that i wanted to love him

3. Describe their eyes. Describe their hands. Describe their laugh.

his eyes are really sensitive to the light so he wears his shades a lot but god when he takes them off i get to see his eyes

theyre red and kind of like mine but not in the freaky albino way like mine

his are a beautiful deep red and when i look close enough i can see the little flecks of whatever mixed in

his hands arent scarred and scabbed like mine theyre soft but with a slight toughness to them and when we intertwine our fingers i can really feel that and i love kissing his fingertips just to show him that

and his laugh

god his laugh

i never want to hear anything else

the way it bubbles up and his head falls and his smile is so wide its beautiful

4. What’s your zodiac sign and mbti type? What about your partner’s? Do things like that reflect your actual compatibility or is it just bunch of bunk?

we are both the same sign and i dunno about that mbti stuff and i dont think any of it works for compatibility its kinda dumb

5. Are you long distance? Have you met in person before? When do you get to see them again?

we live together

6. Tell me a story about a happy experience you two shared. Something that makes your heart warm whenever you think about it.

i had lit a bunch of fancy rose candles and turned out the lights and we just showered each other with so many kisses and then fell asleep together smiling stupidly it was nice

7. Tell me a funny story. Did they do something silly? Did you do something silly? Talk about your inside jokes.

he always does something silly

he has this silly smile when he falls asleep and apparently when i sleep i look “angry or apathetic as fuck”

sometimes he walks in when im shaving my legs early in the morning with my hair in a bunch of mini pony tails so i can see and he knows hes seen a demon

8. Are your families supportive? Does it matter if they’re not?

avi doesnt have much of a family other than his sister and i havent met her

and dirk and hal are all ive got and dirk is pretty supportive and i think hal is too

if they werent it would hurt but i couldnt stop loving him yknow

9. Would you ever have a pet together? Do you already have one?

he has four cats and i have an owl

10. Do you have children together? If not, are you both interested in raising children some day?

we do not but maybe someday i havent really thought about it all too much

11. If they’re having a bad day, what do you do to help?

listen the best i can and do whatever i can

give him space if he needs it

hold him if he needs it

12. If you’re having a bad day, what do they do to help?

he listens

fuck he listens

he lets me cry and yell or whatever i need to do and he helps me

he lets me talk to him

he is everything to me when im having a hard time

he knows when to hold me and rub my back and hush me

he knows when to give me space and let me yell

he knows me so well

13. What’s something that your partner does that would be annoying if anyone else did it, but it’s cute when they do it?

he moves a lot in his sleep

he has grabbed my ass on more than one occasion

14. Have you ever went on a vacation or adventure together? Tell me about it. If not, do you have plans to do something fun in the future?

we drive out to the coast sometimes its fun just driving away so yes

15. What’s something that you learned about yourself because of being with your partner?

i learned that im allowed to be confident with my body and im beautiful and nothing anybody can say will crush that

i really started to stop wearing makeup to cover my spots because of him

16. What’s a piece of advice that your partner gave you that has resonated with you?

“please dont ever talk about corpses in public again”

17. Which one of you kills the bugs (or captures the bugs and places them safely outside)?

18. Describe the perfect day with your partner. It can be something that’s already happened, or something that you plan to do.

like i mentioned before just driving out to the coast

both of us laughing the whole way there

his smile as he watches the road that reflects in his eyes

watching the sun set when we finally get there and we just leave the car by the road and nobodys on the beach anymore and i run out to the water with him and it was cold as fuck so we just sat in the sand and held each other and looked up at the moon and he was so beautiful like he is everyday

and then we reluctantly got into the car and drove home mostly in silence expect the whispers of i love you

and we got back home and fell asleep with smiles on our faces it was perfect

19. Do you prepare meals together? Does one person enjoy cooking more than the other?

i usually cook when we arent just having eggs

avi isnt the best cook >BP

20. What are the best restaurants to go to? Do you see movies at the theater? Do you do things like golf or bowling, just to bond more?

theres a really not too fancy nice one downtown that we like

we watch movies at home and dont do much of that stuff

21. Tell me about a time that you got into an argument over something silly.

the ghost in the kitchen that insulted his butter spreading skills was being annoying

22. Tell me about a time that you got into an argument over something serious. How did you compromise? What did you learn?

it was just about family shit it was dumb

we just ended talking

i learned that we both need to talk more and we do now

23. Is there a famous couple, fictional or otherwise, that reminds you (or other people) of you and your partner?

not really

24. Do you have a shipname?

not that i know of

25. Do you two have a “song”? What is it and how did it become your song?

do we have a song

26. Has your partner ever inspired something creative like your art, writing, etc?

ive painted him a few times and he helps me with colours and stuff when im stuck

27. Do you have extremely similar personalities and interests? Or extremely opposite? Or is it a balance that just makes sense? How do you try to better understand each other? Do you ever have to experience things you’re not interested in, or vice versa?

we are pretty similar but other than that its just a good balance

we talk to each other

sometimes i suppose

28. Has your partner ever changed one of your opinions on morals, politics, society, etc?

i dunno

29. Tell me about a time that you were really proud of them.

his dance performance in january he worked so hard for that and i brought him roses afterwards and he did so good

30. Does physical affection and/or sexuality have a role in your relationship? Are both of your needs being respected and fulfilled?

yes we both love physical shit and we make sure that its fulfilled and respected too

31. How often do you talk? On the phone, Skype, in person? Are you two the type that stays up too late because the conversation is too good to end?

we talk and text everyday

32. Talk about your sense of humor, and your partner’s. Do you laugh a lot together? Which one of you is funnier?

we laugh a lot of course

i dont know whos funnier

33. Is there anyone who doesn’t like the idea of your relationship? What’s the reason? How do you and your partner overcome disapproval from others?

not that i can think of

34. Have there been any hardships that have ultimately brought you closer than before?

yeah

there have

35. What’s their contact name in your phone?

my love 💕💕

36. Tell me about what your partner is good at. Are they an artist, are they good at math, do they play a sport, etc?

he is an amazing dancer

37. Get really sappy and gross for a moment. Be so gushy that your friends would groan in mock annoyance if you told them. What’s adorable about your partner? What makes your heart melt? What’s something cute that they did that you’ll always remember no matter what?

david rae strider

he is everything to me

he is my present and my future

he is the rest of my life

falling asleep next to him and waking up next to him is such a privilege and i feel like the luckiest goddamn man in the world to be able to love him

he makes me feel like the happiest man on earth to be able to love him

hes so understanding and patient and he listens to me

his movements are soft and not quick

he comforts me

he cries and i feel like im bleeding from tha inside out and i want to make sure he never has any reason to sad cry

he cries with a smile and i know that i am so in love with him

he kisses my nose and holds me

he kisses every single one of my spots and tells me im beautiful

he traces my scars on my back my arms my face my legs everywhere and kisses my neck still

he holds my hand in public and does fake proposals for free dessert

he knows all the words to every single grease song and so do i

his voice is so nice to hear and his smile is all ive ever wanted to see

his hair is soft and i like to kiss his stubble cheeks when he doesnt shave for a while

hes cute

hes beautiful

he realizes his mistakes

he bought me roses once and put a note inside that he wanted to have roses like that at our wedding someday

he kisses me without regret

he says that he loves me and i believe him

when he got down on his knees and asked me to marry him with tears in his beautiful eyes and held out a shaky beautiful hand with an earring in it

i knew that i loved this man with my entire being

and i said yes

god i said yes

38. Let’s talk about life goals and hopes. Do you two have a similar idea for the future (regarding careers, getting a home, family, finding meaning)? Do you two make a good team? Can you imagine spending the rest of your life with them?

we are moving into his sisters old place once hes done with school and we are getting married in the summer

we just know we want the rest of our lives to be together

39. Reflecting on all of your experiences, what advice would you give to a young couple?

talk to each other and dont try and hide important things and your feelings

dont be stupid but also do stupid things

40. Is your partner on tumblr? Tag them here and write them a small message, it can be anything.

@bromosapiens

ur gross

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shaddy-bee · 7 years ago

Text

I KNOW ITS BEEN LIKE 300 YEARS BUT-

5 things you’ll find in my bag

Right now theres uhh Notebooks, both school and 1 art. Drink mix ins, with such great flavors as sour apple jolly rancher and crush pineapple (tm) Two packs of cards, one of which steam punk themed and the other your regular ol bicycle. A calculator. Its a shitty old one but its for tests, i have google and shit for anything i need myself.

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom

A roommate. Idk if he is gay or what but he isnt straight, name’s will. Chill dude. Sleepin rn, what a fella MY SICK ASS COMPUTER IM MISSING OUT ON BECAUSE MY ROOMMATE IS ASLEEP AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WANNA PLAY ROCKET LEAGUE WITHOUT LAGGING TO HELL also programming my mods. Need to upload that shit. Shit what number we on, 3? Okay cool. A bed. Wow really a bed in your bedrooM? yeah its pretty fuckin spectacular i know. I dont have posters n shit so like i gotta be creative you feel. A microfridge. Now i know what youre thinking, “ah a small fridge whats the big deal?” but no you dont understand, its a microwave fucking bolted onto the top of a fridge. They gave zero fucks attaching these two together and apparently the name is the same way, WHY NOT A FRIDGEWAVE EVEN LIKE MICROFRIDGE JUST SOUNDS LIKE A SMALL FRI- Last but not least, im tempted to just say my wallet here tbh, cuz its old but like, youd EXPECT that now would you? Something boring and mundane for me to fill out the word count with making everything super exciting so nah man, fuck it. Theres air in my bedroom. Fight me.

5 things I’ve always wanted to do in my life

Make a videogame. Like okay, a lot of stuff on this list is jokes and stuff, and I know im going into too much detail and my followers will probably murder me in cold blood for this shit, but im serious about this one like - i have some ideas, but i never have the motivation alone to like work whole-heartedly and finish one but like, at some point in the future id love to sit down and just go at it and make a game. Doesnt matter if its popular or big or small just i wanna make something that i love ya feel? I wanna like, go to newark, delaware. I know, its delaware and all, no one lives there, but ive met a bunch of cool people there and i was promised a donut run sometime, so lookin forward to that. Yknow that post awhile back that was like “i dont wanna be rich and like buy shit, i just wanna have enough money to throw at kickstarters whenever i want without having to strain on my food and rent costs” thats me. 100% Like i wanna have just enough money to be able to donate to cool people and watch them do cool shit - it wont always work out but thats fine, I just love shit. I wanna be able to donate like the high prize and fly out to meet these game studios for coffee and shit and just talk with em and see their passion and ideas. I love it. Im not actually really sure besides those. Like idk. I think itd be cool to enter a game tournament with my brother and win, but i doubt thatll happen and its not super like on my desires just itd be cool cuz we named ourselves Sora and Shiro after NGNL and to see that like, have us win would be great. Yeah. Ill make my fifth to think of a fifth one.

5 things on my to do list

FLOPPY DICKS i mean disks. Floppy disks. I do binding of isaac ab+ modding shit, and im currently working (its mostly done for what i want it to do) which adds a new consumable called floppy disks, effects are based on viruses, bugs, and just computer based shit. Like BSOD for instance, which makes the screen literately bluescreen. Or atleast look like it. Cant wait to watch people play with it. I gotta work on the programming class project too but honestly i dont waannnaaa. Like its cool as shit. Recreate a card game using c++ code. But man, i just love Apocrypha and Floppies so much more. Eat today???? Please. Dining hall opens in 3 hours. Its goddamn 4 am. I want my food. Dunno if ill get it - if ill stay awake till then. But i want it. Probably draw some stuff? Like i posted one drawing already (check it out if u wanna ;) kay?) but like theres wacom tablets here i can just kinda use whenever???? its great. I love being able to just draw stuff on em. Even if i suck at drawing, even if it took 10 hours to make the one i posted here, still love. Probably play more rocket league. Sleep first, soon as i get that food im CRASHIN BOI IM OUTTIE HA but uhh, rocket league has a halloween thing rn and i like playing it. Was playing earlier today and i matchd with a dude in 2v2 that had the same car, skin, AND colors set up as mine. Totaly random. We kicked some major ass together. I kept thinking of the same hat comic the entire time. (also my card was superior because it had furry ears on it ;))

5 things that make me happy

Getting an idea for a thing and working at said thing until like boom it went from this abstract idea to now it has a physical form and it works! And its fun and its great and i can share it with other people and they can have fun too!!!! that feeling is wonderful. Obviously friends man. Just doing shit with people can be so great sometimes - like not all the time sure but like man. Its nice to talk to people and share experiences and just smile and tell bad jokes and have them groan but like it anyway like thats the shit. Going out at 2 am and walking to a nearby run down schoolyard and swinging on the swingsets and watching shooting stars burn up. Thats the good shit. Getting tents and setting em up in your friends back yard when your friend from far away comes up for a few days, and playing ridiculous games in a group like kick the can or fuckin zombie screaming your lungs out in the dark to freak em out, or just talkin around a fire about fuckin life man. The people make life great. Shits worth living for. I realize that last answer covered a LOT of shit but like, im just gonna add here videogames. Would be amiss if i didnt mention that, considering the rocket league rant above lmao. Yeah i better not make this category any longer.

5 things I’m (currently) into

Isaac modding, probably will be for awhile. Its good shit. As a suggestion from one of the people I work with (we also fuck around its a good time) i have started watching space dandy. Its a slow progress through lol like an episode or two a day but god man like its pretty ridiculous and the main character is pretty much everything i was expecting from seeing him everywhere. Rocket league again. It comes and goes with various different games to tide me over, give me a break from working. Bout 2 months ago or so said relaxing time was dominated by anime - i suddenly went on like a massive streak of watching shit. By that i mean, i watched all of hunter x hunter in like 2 weeks, among other shows prior to it. But yeah. Fuck man HXH I LOVED THE KING WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I have too many emotions about that. I wrote a rant to the Groupchat (tm) about the fucking battle and how everything is in slow motion but it fucking like makes it like foreshadowed and have so much of an impact and still so much fucking happens even while everything runs at super slow mo just GOD KLASFJBHUGHASFIUHIPJASK anyway. Yeah. Music, as always im listening to like constantly. Wireless headphones are a wonder for this, but uhh....i cant say im especially into any specific thing rn right? Like a bit ago i was super into joywave and then that faded out and now im just listening to whatever random shit, yknow? But I am into music in general. Its good. Art! A lot of times i dont do shit like for drawing right, like especially not in like pencil in notebooks but like, i sorta started doing a lot more art stuff? Like i had a period awhile back last year where i stopped using pencils and used only pens and i just loved the aesthetic of the ink like how it looked (funny how im doing the opposite of the fucking inktober though, huh?) but yeah im back into using pencils to draw shit occasionally. Im still terrible at drawing people (which is what i see mostly everyone drawing on tumblr lmao RIP) but its fun to sketch stuff out and just let my thoughts run and bounce to some music and shit right? Also the tablets. Especially with the tablets.

5 things people may not know about me (at least on tumblr)

I basically constantly wear sweatshirts, and they all have like earbuds where the strings go. All the earbud shits are broken pretty much, like occasionally they work (the one i have rn does) but like, i dont ever really use them? i have wireless headphones for my phone and a headset (because i need the mic for my computer) for said computer so like, idk. But yeah. I rarely take em off when im not home, and sometimes even when i am i just kinda keep em anyway? (also just now i realized i talked in the section for room shit about all the stuff in my current dorm, my room at home has all KINDS of wierd fucking shit in it. Really missed an opportunity there.) Like many people i like to stay hydrated and shit, but drinking water all the time seemed like a chore more than anything so i got like drink mix ins and shit, mio’s or whatever offbrand version you can find at your local SUPERSTORE CONGLOMERATE. I drink em like all the time pretty much so atleast im health in one way :P. Also gummy vitamins. I dont excercise but you can only ask for so much. Idk, its hard to think of things for this section because tumblr knows so little about me yknow? Like i never make my own posts or shit like its SUPER rare so im pretty much just tryna find random facts but that might not be interesting? Like i have a bad habbit of like talking way too loud when im excited about something right? Not quite yelling but like getting there and like idk. See? Thats not super interesting but it is something no one online would be able to really know ya feel? Idk. I mean physically im kinda fat as you do, but im also like wierdly strong? Like for someone who never works out i sure do have arm strength if nothing else lmao. My endurance is shit tho. Honestly? I can only blame it on osu and groceries. Osu is just a game i like where you mash buttons to the beat of weaboo shit tier music. The groceries is just because like, well, my policy is Least Trips Possible which means carrying in 13 bags at a time if need be it, fuck it milk too? And a watermellon? Bring it.

Who am I tagging? Idk man. Just for shits and stuff tho i do wanna tag @theoriginalyami just to see what all’s changed in teh long time since i actually went to fill it out :P Dont feel like you have to add as much as me tho omg @milkchocolateowl because honestly? love you. Think about you a lot, just like glad im mutuals with that ray of sunshine. Good. @fantaledfish <3 (this is the friend i mentioned earlier, runs a QUALITY blog i guarantee it, better than mine for sure) @dragonfucker-supreme always top in my notes, a silent bond, like two guards assigned to watch back to back in the early dawn. Birds gather round. I can only tag so many people (i set myself a limit of 5 because...idk why i just mentally it felt right) so for my last trick gotta go with @ask-oncies-jizz like cmon man name changes for the win, also has quality icons and quality shitposts tbh, supreme top meme. Have fun yall.

#god im #sorry #this is long #i hope its atleast somewhat enjoyable though yknow?#<3 #shaddy-online

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bronzeflower · 7 years ago

Text

Who The Fuck Writes A Ten-Page Rant?????

Also on ao3

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Chapter 7: Literary Device Kingdoms

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

TG: roooooooose TG: rose TG: rose TG: are you there

TT: Yes, Dave, I am here. TT: And it seems like you have adapted John’s penchant for using eight letters at a time for emphasis on various words.

TG: what really TG: goddamn it

TT: Yes, this appears to be a despicable habit that we must rid you of.

TG: please do TG: i dont want a total of eight letters exactly all the time to haunt me for the rest of my life TG: but that isnt what i came here to talk about

TT: Did you perhaps pester me to inform me of your previous conversation with Karkat?

TG: hell yeah i did

TT: I only assumed because that is what you were bugging me about previously.

TG: that is a pretty good assumption to make TG: anyway the conversation i had with karkat was really nice TG: hes a lot shoutier over text than voice TG: he types in all caps like holy shit TG: so angry TG: does some long ass metaphors TG: im still the best at them but karkat may be shooting for my place on the throne TG: make a note to watch out for that

TT: It has been noted.

TG: thank you for that rose TG: best goddamned advisor i ever had TG: i trust you completely TG: wow i sound like one of those kings that trust their shitty and evil advisor without a single thought that their advisor could potentially want to overthrow them TG: are you going to take over my kingdom rose

TT: I have no interest in ruling the Kingdom of Metaphors. TT: I am perfectly happy here in my “Palace of Prose.”

TG: thank fucking god TG: i dont think i could handle a rebellion TG: shits dangerous you know TG: do each of us get a literary device kingdom TG: if i have the kingdom of metaphors and you get the palace of prose TG: which is an awesome name btw TG: like is john the king of hyperbole TG: or jade the queen of personification TG: do they get kingdoms TG: are they opposing kingdoms TG: or are they all good friends and shit TG: does every single literary device get a kingdom or is only major ones TG: these are important questions here rose

TT: I’m not sure if John would be suited to the role of ruling over the hyperbole commonwealth. TT: I’m certain he would need to have some sort of training first. TT: He would need to become the heir to the kingdom. TT: Or he should rule over some other literary device.

TG: that makes me wonder what literary device he would rule over TG: hold up let me pull up a list TG: holy shit there are a lot of literary devices TG: i dont know what half this stuff is TG: shit ton of different types of irony TG: what the fuck is a zeugma

TT: A zeugma is a literary device that is both literal and metaphorical. TT: For example, “they covered themselves in dust and glory.”

TG: thats actually pretty cool

TT: Quite.

TG: what were we even talking about before all this literary device nonsense.

TT: I believe you were talking about the conversation you shared with Karkat.

TG: oh yeah TG: but yeah hes super long winded and his metaphors are actual works of art TG: he was actually the guy who wrote the top quality hate mail i received

TT: Really?

TG: yeah really isnt that fucking fantastic TG: you wouldnt have expected it if you were just talking to him in real life TG: but over messaging holy shit TG: absolutely glorious TG: he should really do something with that talent TG: write a fucking novel or some shit

TT: I would never have expected Karkat to be so…

TG: angry TG: long winded TG: creative with his words

TT: Yes. TT: He always seems so nice and professional. TT: Then again, I’ve only ever seen him at work, so I suppose I don’t exactly have the most accurate idea of what his personality is actually like.

TG: you also just spend your time flirting with kanaya

TT: The flirting is consensual.

TG: what are you two dating now

TT: Yes, actually.

TG: holy shit TG: did you go on a date TG: is that why you couldnt respond to my message TG: i need a brief overview of what happened stat

TT: Nothing much, really. TT: All we did was go out to lunch and walk around the park for a little while. TT: It was nice.

TG: that sounds like a fantastic date TG: very casual like a first date should be

TT: Agreed.

TG: anyway how are you doing TG: done anything interesting lately TG: something other than writing your book TG: which one are you on anyway TG: like the fifth or something or other TG: you just have a large fucking amount of books that you have written TG: and you go into these modes where you dont talk to anyone unless its the cashier at the grocery store

TT: I require food to survive, Dave. TT: But, yes, I have done something interesting lately. TT: Instead of writing a book, I opted for reading something.

TG: what really TG: what are you reading TG: actually i dont think i want to know TG: knowing you its probably something weird with a shit ton of monsters and stuff TG: not really something im interested in

TT: It's actually a novel that Kanaya recommended to me. TT: It's very interesting.

TG: well i guess if its not about monsters eating each other or a huge ass monster talking above a whisper that murders everyone its fine TG: lay it on me

TT: It's actually a series of books. TT: I'm only on the first one so far, but it holds a certain amount of charm to it.

TG: well youre going to have to do more than just tell me that the book has a certain kind of charm TG: you might want to actually tell me about the book

TT: Well, it's about a young girl who is being sent to finishing school by her family in order to become a lady. TT: However, the finishing school she is being sent to is not a normal finishing school. TT: It teaches a finishing of a different kind. TT: That is to say, it teaches young ladies to assassinate people as well as gather information.

TG: holy shit TG: that was not the direction i was expecting that to go

TT: I would recommend the book series to you. TT: You often like stories with a steampunk theme to them, and Kanaya stated that Etiquette and Espionage is a must read book for all those who love the steampunk genre.

TG: i do have to say TG: i am a little bit interested in reading the book TG: i might just go to the bookstore and buy it

TT: I knew you would be curious about it.

TG: yeah well im interested because you said there was a steampunk theme to it TG: but why were you interested in it TG: you typically go for the lovecraftian horror stories TG: god those are so fucking creepy TG: i have no earthly clue why you enjoy reading them so much TG: i personally cant stand reading those TG: ignore my tangent and answer my question instead

TT: I don't know, Dave. TT: Your tangents are awfully fun to analyze.

TG: goddamn it rose TG: youre an author not a fucking therapist TG: regardless of what your chumhandle says TG: anyway i know kanaya recommended it to you but what actually made you interested in the book

TT: I have always had a certain interest in fashion and such, particularly Victorian fashion. TT: I also enjoy the humor in the novel. TT: It is very deadpan, and it is enjoyable to read that someone wants to murder their first husband in a casual tone. TT: Don't worry though, Dave. TT: The only murder that occurs is in the last book, and the deaths are of minor characters. TT: Kanaya assured me this was such. TT: However, she did mention that there were some graphic descriptions of violence, particularly in the ending part of the last book. TT: If you don't feel comfortable with that, you don't have to read the novels.

TG: nah TG: i think i should be more or less ok TG: if i feel like i cant handle reading some part of it i can always go to you or kanaya to find out what actually happened in that part TG: but of course you read it because of people possibly murdering their future husbands TG: do you know why kanaya really liked the series

TT: Apparently, she has an interest in vampires and rainbow drinkers. TT: So there is a supernatural aspect to the book.

TG: so are there werewolves and shit as well

TT: Yes, there are.

TG: sweet TG: i probably need to get out of the house anyway TG: it will give me an excuse to stretch my legs and such

TT: Do you really require an excuse to do that?

TG: yes

TT: Well, don’t let me stop you.

TG: alright TG: ill be taking my leave

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacletherapist [TT] --

Now, before you leave to go to the bookstore, you needed to do one more thing.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

TG: john TG: john TG: i have a very important question for you

EB: lay it on me.

TG: what literary device kingdom would you rule

EB: that’s a really weird question, dave. EB: i think you might have to elaborate a little.

TG: so rose and i were talking TG: and we decided that I was the king of metaphors TG: we later decided that she was the queen of prose TG: which of course begged the question TG: what the fuck would you be

EB: i don’t think i want to rule an imaginary literary device kingdom! EB: it seems like a lot of responsibility.

TG: of course its a lot of goddamned responsibility TG: youre ruling a kingdom here TG: a hypothetical kingdom sure TG: but a kingdom nonetheless TG: youve got to take care of all the little people residing in your kingdom TG: but youre basically supposed to chose the literary device that you utilize the most often

EB: i can’t recall using many literary devices! EB: i think i would probably end up being the subject of one of the kingdoms.

TG: thats fair

EB: what about jade? EB: have you asked her?

TG: no but she probably rules over personification or something like that TG: you were more of a mystery

EB: i guess i’m just going to have to think about it.

TG: ill just be waiting over here for you answer TG: because this lack of information is clearly what is keeping me up at night TG: well i wont be actually waiting TG: that would just be creepy as fuck TG: ill just occasionally check pesterchum to see if you have come up with an answer yet TG: be sure to pester me when you do alright

EB: i’ll be sure to do that, dave.

TG: thanks bro TG: anyway im going to the bookstore to get a book rose recommended TG: for once it was not about horrorterrers TG: see ya later john

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

Your curiosity had yet to be sated. You were still curious as to what literary device kingdom John would rule. This was of course purely hypothetical, but it was still something very important that you needed to know as soon as possible.

Anyway, you decided that now would be a good time as any to make your way to the bookstore. Since it was literally right down the street, you didn't actually bother going into your car and driving there. That would be pointless and stupid because then you would have to find a parking space and pay for parking and that was entirely too much work to go get a book from a bookstore that was so close to your house.

When you got to the bookstore, you started out be looking around to see if you could find the book anywhere. It occurs to you that Rose never actually told you who the author was. She only told you the name of the book, which was fine, but it would have been very helpful to actually obtain the name of the person who wrote it as well.

You also didn't know all that much about the book save for a few basic things.And like hell are you actually going to ask someone for assistance to find the book. However, Rose did give you the title of the book, which is occasionally good enough.

As you wandered through the store, you ended up being surprised at a familiar face.

Oh god. It was Karkat. And yeah, the two of you talked pretty casually over Pesterchum and Trollian respectively, but you don't really think you could handle an actual interaction with him in person again. It was too soon, and you hadn't exactly had the time to recover from the previous in person interaction you had with him.

Oh no. He just saw you.

"Oh. Dave." Karkat greeted. "This is certainly a surprise."

"Oh, yeah, hi. I mean, hello. Yo? Actually, nevermind. I guess I really did mean hi. So, hi there Karkat. How have you been doing? The store treating you well? Asshole customers not keeping you up at night are they? And, wow, you are still cute. And I'm still rambling on like I'm not able to breathe if I don't talk. Not that I can't breathe if I don't talk, but with the amount of shit coming out of my mouth, I really wouldn't be surprised at this point.Sorry, I'm not very good at talking to people in real life."

"You're not very good at talking to them over text. Whatever delusion you created to make yourself think that you are anything less than a huge fucking dork is completely and utterly false, and at this point in time, you really just should accept that you aren't that good at the social aspect of life." Karkat said.

"Karkat, I'm hurt. You of all people should know how cool of a person I am."

Karkat looked around bewildered for a moment.

"A cool person? I don't see anyone like that. All I see is some dork who wears shades indoors to look cool."

"Harsh, but I do actually wear the shades inside for a legitimate reason. My eyes are super sensitive to light, so if I ever took them off, I'm pretty sure I would go blind."

"They seem like that would be extraordinarily uncomfortable to wear while sleeping. I hope to whatever god you believe in that you don't go blind if you remove them in total darkness."

"Yeah, it's fine if I take them off when there is a low amount of light, but I don't like taking them off that often. Not only do they look super cool and protect me from the evil sunlight, they were a gift from my best bro."

"So, sunlight is evil now?" Karkat asked.

"What? No. Sunlight isn't evil now. It has always been evil. It's just been watching over us like the fucking malevolent god it is."

"I don't think the sun can be considered a god. First of all, there are stars that are way bigger than our sun and a whole lot hotter as well. Second of all, the sun is probably going to die in a couple billion years, so we have that to look forward to."

"I can't wait until the evil that the sun is gets defeated."

"Well, it's not going to be in our short ass lifetimes. I can assure you of that."

"Damn it. And here I was, looking forward to the destruction of the sun."

"Well, I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you. Unless someone makes a video or a video game where the sun blows up. I don't know." Karkat furrowed his brows. "Maybe then you can live out the fantasy of the sun blowing up? I mean, it would be better than nothing, right?"

"Fair enough. Anyway, what are you getting here at the bookstore?" You questioned.

"Well, I was trying to find a new book to read, but I can't really find anything that I haven't read yet that is in the genre I enjoy."

"You're looking for a romance book, right? Terezi said you liked romcoms and cheesy stuff like that, which is honestly kind of adorable, and please just forget I said that last part. It didn't exist. It was never said. Anyway, you clearly must read a lot to not be able to find something that you haven't read."

"I don't know what I should respond to in that sentence. It all sounded like a huge pile of feces that just won't stop coming out. Except the pile of feces is coming out of your mouth instead of your asshole."

"Maybe you should answer the part where I commented on the amount of reading you do because that is super impressive, and it isn't a creepy compliment like suddenly telling you that you are cute is." You explained.

"Ignoring the fact that you called me cute on multiple occasions, I thank you for your acknowledgment of my prowess in reading a various amount of novels."

"You're welcome. Anyway, if you are having trouble finding something to read, you could always try out a different genre, I guess. I mean, I'm pretty sure there are plenty of action books and stuff that you haven't had the pleasure of reading yet."

"I do still prefer romance novels." Karkat said. "What kind of books do you like to read? Or, I guess, more specifically, what book are you planning on getting here? Or are you just browsing?"

"Rose recommended a book series to me, but I am having a bit of trouble finding it. The first book is called Etiquette and Espionage. Have you heard of it?"

Karkat scoffed.

"Of course I've heard of it! I hear about every book with rainbow drinkers that my moirail can get her hands on! However, it was an amazing series with a properly done romance."

"There's romance in it?"

Karkat looked at you in silence for a few moments before taking a deep breath.

"Yes and a very well done romance at that. Scratch that. There are multiple romances throughout the books. Of course, you have the obligatory red romance triangle that the protagonist ends up getting herself in, but it was obvious from the beginning who she would end up with, speaking as one of her redrom interests she was, at the most, black for, even if there was a bit of red/black vacillating. However, the romantic interests are intriguing due to the sheer difference in blood color. You see, the main character is an olive blood and the two who are trying to court her are a rust blood and a seadweller respectively. Which, of course, puts her in the position of trying to choose between one far above and far below her station in society. She was already testing that, being an olive blood going to a highblood school. In addition, her redrom interests are black as hell for each other, often fighting, and it's done so subtly, and that particular romance was very interesting to read about, even if it was kind of a minor romance in the book. In addition to the redrom interests, she actually gets a moirail, and that romance is adorable as hell, and it is honestly so sweet. She also gets a blackrom interest that she never actually acts on due to that interest being someone she considers an actual enemy."

Karkat looked at you in astonishment for a moment.

"Wow. That was probably one of the first times someone has let me go on for that long about romance without telling me to shut the fuck up."

"Why the hell would I tell you to shut up?" You ask. "You're clearly passionate about it, so I see no reason to shoot down that enthusiasm."

"I, uh. Wow." Karkat just kind of stared at you, and you were beginning to start feeling pretty awkward.

So, of course, you did the only thing you could really actually do.

"Yeah, it would be really shitty of me to just fucking tell you to shut up about something you clearly enjoy talking about. Anyway, it is always super nice just to hear people talk about something they love, and it's just kind of sad when people are sorry for enjoying those sorts of things when really it shouldn't be embarrassing at all. If it's something you love, you should embrace it. It's kind of dumb that people just shoot you down like that, bro. Especially since it was really nice to see you light up like that, and oh my god, please just shut me up."

Karkat started laughing. This was the second time you had gone on a long-winded spiel that he laughed at. It was honestly pretty adorable.

"I guess you're right. Hey, you're having trouble finding Etiquette and Espionage, right? Maybe I could help you find it." Karkat suggested.

"That would be fucking fantastic. Please, show me the way to the elusive novel."

"Right this way."

You followed Karkat to an area you must have looked through ten thousand times, and he just pulled a book off the shelf and handed it to you.

"There you go."

"Holy shit. The cover is pink. Pink is such a nice color, you know? It's all happy and nice and shit, and I really should consider getting some pink into my wardrobe now that I think about it. What do you think, Karkat? Would pink fit my complexion well enough?"

"Probably. You wear red well enough, so you should be able to pull off pink really well."

"Really? Well, maybe you could go out with me to help me pick something out. Usually, I would go with my sister, but she's not very good at picking things out that I actually like, and she doesn't typically like the things that I pick out. Also, it's kind of difficult to shop for yourself, you know? Who knows? Maybe I could help you pick out something new as well. It's always nice to find things that you wouldn't usually pick out for yourself, but then you find out you really enjoy it, you know?"

"That's an odd request, but I don't really see why not."

"So you don't mind helping me out with finding a fun outfit?"

"Not at all. It would probably be fun, especially if we are helping out one another."

"Great. You can bring a friend if you want. You know, if you're uncomfortable with hanging out with me for alone for an extended period of time. It's perfectly fine." You said.

"I think I'll actually take you up on that offer. I have a friend who has been pestering me about getting a new outfit for a potential date he's going to have, and it would be fantastic if I had some extra help.He's a complete mess, and I don't know if he can tell his shoes from his cape."

"Clearly he's a fashion disaster, and we're going to have to fix it. However, I'm warning you now, I am also a fashion disaster."

Karkat looked you up and down, and your throat felt dry.

"I think I can deal with you. You're not nearly as much of a fashion disaster as you may think you are."

"Thanks for the confidence booster. Anyway, when and where do you want to meet for the shopping spree? Unless you want to go over the details over Pesterchum."

"We're already here and planning it. Might as well do it now. I'm free this Saturday. So, maybe we could meet up at noon at some restaurant for lunch and then go to the mall to shop for clothes."

"That sounds fucking fantastic. What restaurant though?"

"I could probably find some place nearby the mall to go to that isn't complete fucking shit. I'll have to ask my friend to see if he's good with that time. He probably will be though. He is almost always free. But, on the off chance that he is not, I can always message you over Trollian, but I’ll have to do that anyway to tell you the exact location and time to meet up.”

"It sounds like a plan." You stated. "Anyway, I'm going to pay for this book, and I'm hopefully going to read it at some point in time instead of just allowing it to rest upon my shelf for the rest of eternity. Mark my works. It will be read."

"Good luck with that." Karkat laughed. "But seriously, I do hope you manage to finish it. It will give us something to talk about on the outing."

"I thought we were going to talk about what kind of clothes we want to try out."

"That's actually a pretty good idea. Just let me jot that down." Karkat pretended to write something down on an imaginary notepad. "There we go. If you have any other ideas, be sure to submit them to my website so that I can fully analyze the shit out of them."

"Will do." You suddenly remembered something very important. "Also, I just remembered I need to ask you what literary device kingdom you would rule."

Karkat looked at you like you had just eaten a lemon whole, rind and all.

"What the fuck kind of question is that?"

"An important one. Come on, please answer it. I don't actually have all day, like some may believe."

"Dave, we just spend a good half hour to an hour standing here and talking to each other."

"Shit, really? Never would have guessed that much time had passed. I still would like an answer though."

"I'll think about it. I'll even message you so you can sate your burning curiosity as soon as I figure it out."

"I'll hold you to that." You said, and you finger-gunned at him. "Anyway, I should be off and actually buying this book and possibly reading it at some point in the hopefully near future."

"You do that." Karkat said.

You left kind of awkwardly. And by that, you meant you totally left in the coolest way possible. Yes. Definitely. Didn't even trip or anything. Okay. So maybe you stumbled a bit, but it's whatever, right? You were still kind of cool, and your dignity was definitely left intact.

You go up to the counter and buy your book and then make your way home. You check Pesterchum to see if John has given you an answer yet. None. Absolutely none. What blasphemy. Well, you can always pester someone else about it.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

TG: jade i have a very important question for you to answer TG: it is imperative that you answer this message as soon as possible TG: shits super important TG: like the world will be destroyed by a whole bunch of meteors if you dont answer this question TG: it will be fucking catastrophic for everyone involved TG: and everyone involved will just be everyone in the world TG: possibly the universe too who really knows

GG: dave

TG: what

GG: just ask me the question already!!!!

TG: oh yeah right TG: okay ill lay it on you TG: if you were the ruler of a theoretical literary device kingdom, what literary device would you be the ruler of

GG: that question is super weird :/ GG: but i guess i would rule personification??? GG: i havent really thought about it really GG: its kind of super oddly specific too

TG: maybe a little bit TG: but i knew you would rule over personification TG: john is still trying to decide what literary device kingdom he would rule over

GG: oh! GG: maybe he could rule over the hero kingdom!!

TG: is hero a literary device

GG: i think it might be more of a character arc than a literary device but this sight seems to count it as one

TG: ok i guess thats fair

GG: im going to keep looking through these literary devices GG: some of them are kind of funny!! GG: like this one called non sequitur

TG: what the fuck is that

GG: according to the site its a statement that doesnt really make any sense or have any sound logic GG: like saying that if all humans have bones and crocodiles have bones GG: then crocodiles must be humans

TG: what the fuck is that logic

GG: its called non sequitur for a reason!

TG: sounds like something you would find straight off of tumblr TG: hot off the press and ready to consume

GG: that metaphor didnt really make any sort of sense dave

TG: when do my metaphors ever make sense jade

GG: … GG: :/

TG: exactly

GG: i found a literary device that might fit john!

TG: what is it

GG: its called a parrhesia GG: which is basically a fancy way of saying freedom of speech GG: like saying what you mean and stuff like that

TG: sounds perfect TG: i will be sure to inform john of this development TG: pester me if you need anything alright

GG: ok! GG: :)

TG: … TG: 8)

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

TG: okay so i found out what kingdom you would rule over

-- ectoBiologist [EB] is an idle chum! --

TG: alright so you arent here TG: whatever TG: ill tell you anyway TG: you would rule over the parthinian kingdom TG: that was not the correct kingdom TG: that was just a jumble of words that didn’t even make any sort of sense TG: they just happened to start with a p TG: okay just give me a second to double check what it was called TG: parrhesia TG: that still sounds like a jumble of words but i swear its an actual real word TG: it means like freedom of speech or whatever TG: boldness of speech TG: i just realized that all you guys have a literary device that begins with a p TG: prose personification parrhesia TG: and im just sitting over here on my throne of metaphors TG: … TG: super fucking weird TG: anyway TG: see ya

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

You weren’t really sure whether or not to tell someone about seeing Karkat at the bookstore. You were kind of tired, and you were all peopled out for the day, so you just decided to go to sleep instead.

You can’t wait for Saturday.

#davekat #homestuck #dave strider #karkat vantas #john egbert #rose lalonde #jade harley

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pensurfing · 6 years ago

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Caitlin’s Three Things List

Okay, so moments (probably hours by the time I finish this) ago I wrote a goals list that I think is good for self-evaluation. (Keyword: This is what I think. results may vary depending on what you’re looking for.)

I’m going to hop to it and answer some of these that I laid out in hopes of having a better idea of what I want to accomplish.

The Three Things Lists!

1) Three things that went well this year.

* Audience growth

So once upon a time, I grew a pretty decent following due to creating an Inktober Prompt list. My expectations: Maybe two of my friends would do this, maybe. And then one stranger that has followed me for a while. (There are a few followers I recognize their username because if I post something they always like it and for some reason that keeps me going.)

But because of this prompt, I was exposed to MANY new creators and illustrators that I now enjoy chatting with and following! Instagram had the biggest maintained growth. I’m excited to create for an audience that actually expects me to create and not just for friends who see my things “whenever they aren’t busy”. (Not to bash them or anything, just there are a lot where unless I tell them, they don’t see the posts I make.)

Another surge of growth in my audience was due to tabling at conventions this year. I was terrified to show my work let alone attempt to sell it to someone. Tabling at cons not only boosted my confidence but also quieted one of my ever going demons. “YoU sUcK aT dRaWiNg CaItLiN.” “How do you have a degree? oh right, you just barely passed.” I can’t say this is the case, there is an audience that genuinely enjoys my scribbles. So I am forever thankful to Atlanta Comic Con for giving me that chance. It honestly opened a few doors for me.

**Process

I’ve gotten more comfortable with showing my process. It can be messy, crisp, and illogical. But turns out the people who enjoy my content enjoy my scrambled thoughts. It’s something about not being alone in this sort of sense that calms the nerves.

So I can say with chest poked out that sharing process has gotten MUCH better. I can thank a self-help book I bought this year that was a FANTASTIC BUY. Austin Kleon has [two] (currently? If he has more then I’m buying it like people buy a name brand.) books that helped me see that it is GREAT to share not only the process but advice. “Show Your Work” is the book I’m talking about for now. Great tips, the outline is on the back of the book. So if you’re like me, I need to clearly see what I might be getting into, you might have a ball.

And finally, (not calling myself out on this but other) If you’re going to respond to people when they ask you “how do you___?” do not answer “Google it”. That is the rudest thing I’ve seen some of even my FAVORITE illustrators do; that response can burn in hell. PERIODT. (my one typo allowed.)

*** Art Style Exploration

For those who think college will help you establish an art style that you’ll enjoy or help nourish the one you currently have.... Let me save you over 80K.... No, the fuck it won’t.

That was the biggest thought I had going into art school. If anything, it confused me more and utterly destroyed what little confidence I had in my drawing style. After graduating, I had a huge swing from how I used to draw to how my art currently looks. I stopped trying to please the one professor who stood between me and my degree and started drawing to please my tastes. And guess what? That did something. And that something WORKED. I love what I draw now; I see why I chose this as my career path. I’m genuinely happy with how my pieces turn out versus in college just wanting to turn the damn thing in and hoping it isn’t an F.

2) Three things you could have handled better.

* The loss of a good paying client.

Now hear me out when I say this: A good paying client DOES NOT EQUAL a good client. Say that three times and then exhale.

Back earlier this year, I had the opportunity to work with a writer who gave me hell and back. And even that is an understatement. I dealt with her because in school you were taught “if they pay on time, finish the work and get the exposure.”

I’m here to tell you my lesson learned: A good paying client DOES NOT EQUAL good exposure, good pay, a good client.

I was doing the work of three for the price of one and a half. (And was always told I charged too much.) She tried abusing this power with friends of mine, with other illustrators. When things turned out bad, she tried saying it was my fault. She read my contract and then tried telling me I changed the wording, I purposely did this thing, another thing was my fault. I could go on with this story.

The part that I wish I handled better?

How I treated myself afterward. I’m so used to people telling me, “Cait, this is what you do wrong. This is how you fix it.” that I don’t consider my own feelings, and when I bring my feelings into the scenario they no longer matter. Because they tell me they don’t matter. In this case, I wish I had treated me better, because my feelings, my mental health, DOES matter.

**My Patience Getting Into Conventions.

Pretty self-explanatory. I got into one, finished one, and wanted to do eight more in a week. But this sort of thing just takes time and I need to accept that.

***My losses

I had to listen to a Little Mix song to actually learn this one. The context of the song is nowhere near the topic at hand. But a verse from Power feat Stomzy really packs a punch after this year:

“ You look him in the eye and say, "I know I'm not a guy But see there's power in my losses and there's power in my wins" “

I had to look one of my demons in the face, and state something similar. My loses mean I’m trying. My loses piling shows I’m not willing to give up easily, and that is something that took a while to be content with.

3) Three things artistically you want to improve on.

*Composition

It’s not awful, but it can be better.

**Color

I told this BOLDLY if I might add while critiquing someone else’s portfolio; “Your color palette is boring. All your [things] look as if they are from the same universe, during the same time of day, with the same kind of mood. After three photos it’s bland, boring, and understood you have a preference.”

Can you say damn Cait? The statement was, in fact, true, but I certainly could not talk. My color palette is mainly bright, pop, and happy. In order to tell a story, I KNOW it is best told with color. And I failed myself this year. But I sure won’t next year.

***My Damn Tag

Okay, alright. Why is it well-established artists have their tag figured out? Even some who’s art style is so recognizable (I’m looking HEAVILY at you Gabriel Piccolo.) we know it’s theirs, seem to have a tag that suits them and works for them. But more importantly, they put it in A VERY DECENT SPOT. SOMEONE SHARE THIS SCIENCE WITH ME? CAUSE APPARENTLY I DON’T GET IT.

4) Three things you want to focus on trying.

*More backgrounds.

As much as it pains me, I need to improve on backgrounds and perspective. When I do make backgrounds, I’m told I make great pieces. That I should look into becoming a background artist. And don’t get me wrong, I like them. But I don’t like them.

I feel as though I need to improve in that region so that way I don’t feel as though it’s a weakness of mine. My backgrounds are nice, but they aren’t nice to my standards.

**More designs

I love character designs, but let’s be real. If you were to scroll down my site or my Instagram page, or even this Tumblr archive, could you tell?

I draw characters a lot sure, but none are designs. No process, no sheets, no turnarounds, none of that. So that’s a huge goal of mine for 2019.

***Scheduling posting

At one point I was pretty good at this. Live stream in Instagram and Twitter, cool. Videos on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Cool. Everywhere gets a photo, everywhere gets a silly one-liner. Yay. I’m not leaving anything out.

Well by the end of this year that totally crumbled.

SO I want to try getting better at that thing there. Because having attempted this at the end of the year was cool, but it still wasn’t enough apparently.

5) Three positive things to tell yourself.

* You are an inspiration. That’s all you wanted to be in life, you did it. I’m proud of you.

**You didn’t kill yourself like you tried to; you opened up about it for once and used that pint up anger creatively. That is very hard to do, trust. I’m proud of you.

***You moved on, matured, and let it go. Even when the goddess inside you told you these peasants didn’t deserve your light, your friendship, your greatness. I’m proud of you.

I’m just proud of me for not snapping when I had every right to; not everything deserves a reaction.

6) Three negative things you want to leave for 2018.

*Comparisons

Oh boy. I am extremely guilty for this: I’ll compare myself to a well-known illustrator my age. I’ll compare myself to friends who are in the field having a blast and getting work; I’ll compare myself to friends who aren’t in the field and they struggle at getting work. I’ll compare myself to the kid I graduated high school with who is traveling the world, is able to eat, come home to his dog and relax because he doesn’t have tuition to pay. I’ll compare myself to these goddamn baby boomers who keep repeating “We didn’t have it hard, you’re just being stupid. Millennials aka our children deserve to starve. We’ll just put our faith in our grandchildren because screw the kids we raised and refuse to pay accordingly. $7 an hour worked in my day, they need to make it work now.” I’ll compare myself to fake people I created in my head and purposely made scenarios and wonder why I’m not like them, said creations I made because I was pretty low for ten minutes...

I just compare myself too much. To any damn body. It’s draining, obnoxious and most of all pointless. My new motto for next year is: “Unless it is helping you grow yourself, your brand, your spirituality, don’t do it.”

I’m not comparing my chapter two to someone’s chapter thirty-five. I’m not even comparing my chapter two to someone else’s chapter two. I need to stop doing that PERIOD! My journey is different, unique, and worth seeing through.

**Listening to negative others.

A couple of years ago, I lost a close friend around the time my aunt passed away. During this time I was hypersensitive to any and everything done or said; I also kept many walls up to hide my mourning. He caught the crossfire of all of that. I kept secrets from him I was too prideful of admitting and lashed out because of the emotional turmoil I kept suppressed. While in the midst of packing his things and leaving my life, he mentioned that I was a failure because I was unemployed and artistically speaking I hadn’t accomplished anything; that I would remain that way because that’s just the person I deserved to be. Now mind you, I graduated college that year; he was a flunk out. I changed my art style dramatically compared to when I started school to pass; he thought just posting crappy pictures of lukewarm sketches were equivalent. I started attempting trends and all he could do was copy. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t to bash my old friend. If he were to come back into my life and move on like nothing had happened I’d do the same. (With some limitations.)

It’s just while typing out this scenario, of our four-year friendship I can’t think of one nice thing/compliment/gesture he has said to me. That’s my problem.

I can be praised, admired, and look highly upon for years straight. But my problem is I let others negative thinking and comments marinate with me for a long while. Too long of a while.

Another example is my mother’s friend. (My mom has many friends that do this shit, but this one stung more.)

This friend always roots for me; treats me like a person, and encourages my artistic journey. I consider her family before my actual relatives.

We went over for some barbeque the family was having and I was ready. Black Hallmark Cookouts, laughing, good food, good music, shit talking others teams. She asked me a harmless question of when was I going to quit my day job. Seemed like nothing at first, until the added gest of what she continued with. “All I’m saying is you can’t do [your day job] forever. That will get old. If the art thing doesn’t work out next year what’s plan b?”

I’m not a calm person (usually). Normal Caitlin would have cursed her out and mentioned how just because she chose a job to settle and be miserable at for most of her life doesn’t mean I have to follow suit. But again, of all the nice encouraging things she has done, said, and showed, for a while, I couldn’t think of it.

So I pray I let go of this nasty behavior in 2018; it’s going to be hard but it is dire.

***Saying I’m Not Enough

Alright, now put the combination of the two above in a bowl and what do you get? A Caitlin who struggles in interviews and applying for jobs because I let comparisons and negative comments rule my thoughts. This stopped me from applying to jobs I would have been perfect for; internships that could have helped me; posting art online.

We (including me) have to stop thinking that in order to be an illustrator means we have to pass a certain threshold of struggle, success, and a huge number of followers. That isn’t the job description. NO JOB DESCRIPTION has ”must have at least 10K followers on Instagram or Twitter.” nOnE.

So we (including me) need to stop treating ourselves this way. Period.

7) Three things you’re looking forward to in 2019.

*Going to move conventions.

**Adding pieces to my portfolio to try again at job hunting.

***Becoming content with the fact that my current situation isn’t my permanent situation. Unless I laze around and make it so.

Alright, so this was basically me calling myself out on my noise. Lashing out my demons and putting it in writing what I want to accomplish. I hope this inspires you to write yours, even if you keep it private. I hope it guides you and maintains your vision.

I’ll see you in 2019

A new wave

Caitlin xx

#pensurfing #new years #new years resolution

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