#i need to calm down but i havent seen him in 2 months but ill see him next weekend and im not sure i can wait that long

[gl4ssfan]

im going insane im going crazy i live in a fucking society IM OFF MY ROCKER I NEED A MENTAL HOSPITALLLL

[nahoyaglock]

WHEN I STOP BREATHING..

pairings! ushijima x reader

summary! sitting on the beach, so close to each other they can hear each other’s heartbeats. They both smile and they watch the world end right in front of them, reminiscing on all they’ve been through together. Why does the end of the world look so beautiful?

genre! angst

word count! didnt bother actually counting so ill estimate maybe 2000+

warnings! end of the world, death, murder mention, slight ooc ushijima idk its the end of the world so pff

a/n! uh idk i wanna hurt people, sorry if this is bad i havent written in a while :p i feel like the beginning was really good, the middle was ass and the end was okay but hoh im happy enough w this. I also cried writing this ngl lmaoo also did not fix any errors so my bad

You knew it was coming, you both did. New reports, articles, it was trending on all social media platforms. It was unavoidable, what could you do but waste away your last few days, watching old shows you watched as a kid, harsh knocks and cries from your doors from friends and family. You couldnt face them, you just wanted to drown out the thought of what was coming the next few hours of the day.

You had woken up and sluggishly dragged yourself from the comfort of your bed to your dirty kitchen, littered with dirty dishes and some uneaten food that youd try to make, but didn't have the stomach to eat. Your phone rang atleast every hour or two, many unanswered calls and long voicemails you couldnt bother to listen to.

There was a knock on your door, and you sighed, not wanting to bother with facing the person at the door. You turned on your heels, about to head to your room when you heard the voice call out to you.

"y/n."

Out of all the people why did it have to be him. You bit your lip and let out shaky breaths. You took another step, freezing at another set of knocks. The last persom you wanted to see was your boyfriend.

"y/n let me in or ill tear this door down." His voice was stern, laced with seriousness and slight concern. You wanted to open it, let him in and crumble into his arms, but it hurt so bad.

"Go away." You spoke, loud enough to be heard through the door, but not loud enough to be a yell.

"y/n."

You hesitantly walked to the door, unlocking the bottom lock, the top lock remaining unlocked, too bothersome for you to have delt with anyways. At the sound of the click of the locks he opened the door with quick motions, while also being careful not to knock you over.

At the sight of his big frame you felt like the world had just stabbed you through the chest 28 times. You backed up with quick steps are your boyfriend reached out to hug you, scared that his touch would break down your facade. You tripped over your own feet, landing hard on your butt.

"Ush.. Ushijima," you started, not knowing exactly what you were trying to say, "Please dont touch me."

His heart sank when he saw you, lifeless and so frail. He guessed you havent been getting much sleep- or maybe too much sleep, and not eating as he took a quick glance towards the food littered kitchen counter.

It wasnt any better for you, seeing your normally cold and calm boyfriend with a worried expression and eye bags that made it obvious he hasnt got much sleep either.

You pull yourself up, your eyes boring through your boyfriends abdomen as you bit your lip, trying to think of what to say, and to also keep yourself from falling apart. "What do you want?"

"y/n. Dont be cold to me." It wasnt a question, but it wasnt a demand. "Sorry," you mumbled, leaving you two in silence for a while.

"Ushi, you should go home," you said, feeling your heart race, every second you spent in his presence, under his gaze, killed you. "You should call Tendou or something."

"Toshi." He said, making your head shoot up, looking him in his eyes, seeing a tear roll down his cheek, his face remaining mostly emotionless, fear slightly present in his eyes. "Please keep calling me Toshi."

You felt a pang in your heart, suddenly the reality of things hitting you. You were the only one going through this, you knew this but never gave it more than a mere thought. He was scared, he didnt know what he was doing, he just knew to find comfort in you, like youve told him to for many years into your relationship.

"Toshi," you breathed, reaching up to wipe the tear from his cheek, "Toshi lets go somewhere."

You never felt the need to go outside, wanting to be isolated, but being here with your boyfriend, you felt like running away, wanting to escape from the dark pit of your home. "Lets go to the beach"

"y/n–"

"Lets go. Lets go, right.. right now Toshi," you felt as if though youve felt shoked by lightning, like you suddenly got hit with some sugar rush.

"We dont have time–"

"We do Toshi, we do, we do," you saw the corner of his lips raise up into a small smile. He hated seeing you like this but he was glad you were more alive than you were minutes before. You knew this, what he was thinking, and you knew his smile had so much sadness behind it, "we have time, lets go, lets go!"

You grabbed his hand and dragged him out of your apartment, not bothering to change from your days out clothing or close the door behind you. It wouldnt matter in another hour anyways.

The ride there was mostly silent, songs playing quietly on the radio. You watched as you passed through the town, the streets were slightly empty, stores looked run down, some stores even tore up and empty.

"Has it been like this since.. since the announcement?" You mumbled, earning a hum for Ushijima.

"Yeah, yeah it has." He knew that you didnt go out, and he was slightly grateful for it. The world went to shit after the announcement, many lootings, murders and other various crimes being commited.

"Im glad your safe Toshi," you spoke into your palm.

"Im glad your safe too."

The ride went on in silence until you got to the beach. You both climbed out of the car, the beautiful blue sea sparkling under the sunny sky. It was funny how such a depressing day could look so so beautiful.

"Hmm, this is the beach we went to with the team our senior year, remember?" He asked and turned to face you. The fear in his eyes was much more evident in the light, along with signs of personal neglict. He hasnt been taking good care of himself either.

You walk around the front of the car to grab his hand, your small hands tracing light circles on his rough palms before linking your hands together, giving him a comforting squeeze. "I remember."

He let out a shaky breath he didnt know he was holding in, and you two found a nice spot on the beach to sit and watch the sky. "Toshi, do you remember the time goshiki got gummy bears stuck in his nose?"

He looked at you, and his face softened, "yeah. Yeah i do." He let out a small chuckle at the thought of his old teammates. "Do you remember when Tendou took my water bottle and filled it with really sour lemonade?" He asked, you could hear his voice unravel into a more comfortable tone, instead of one holding in so much hurt and fear.

"Ha, i actually helped him with that you know?" You spoke up, a small grin on your lips as your boyfriend grabbed your waist, pulling you closer to him. "We'll its okay, because it was 2 years ago."

It had been 2 years. 2 years since you had become shiratorizawas manager, 2 years since you made the number 1 ace fall head over heels for you, 2 years since you had went on your first date with him.

"2 years, its been so long." You laid your head on Ushijimas arm, feeling tired. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and placed a kiss atop your head.

"Thats when we first started dating," you spoke, shoulders shaking with a small laugh, "i would've never imagined to have the nations number 1 ace fall so madly in love with me." You laughed and turned to your boyfriend to continue your teasing, but stopped when you saw him looking back at you.

He couldn't respond with anything more than a mere chuckle, tears now streaming down his cheeks. You bit your lip, scooting closer to him so you were in his lap, wrapping your arms around his large stature.

"Toshi, I love you." It was no more than a whisper and he placed a warm, loving kiss to your temple, rubbing your back softly as he let out a shaky laugh.

"y/n god, you make it so hard not to cry." He whispered in an unstable tone, resting his head atop yours. "I love you too."

This was how it was, clinging to the other and sharing old tales of your days spent with Ushijima and the boys, tales of times tendou had snuck out of the dorms and got caught by washijou, or when goshiki cut his bangs too short, or how Ushijima brought your parents a half eaten watermelon as a gift.

Those last moments spent with laughs and tears, kisses and hugs, warmth and comfort, those were your best memories. Despite the fate to cross you, Ushijima and everyone else in the world, you felt like you could smile for the first time.

You would smile alot, but it felt different this time. You convinced yourself that it was just because you had been withering away for the past days, but you knew it was because you felt free.

You had no worries in the moment with your lover, you didnt need to think about getting up for work the next day, or how you would afford next months rent. You felt like the largest weight had been lifted off of you, and you could really smile for the first time.

There was a slightly rumble if the ground that had made you and Ushijima go silent. You pulled away from your spot in the crook of his neck to look at him, fear still in his eyes.

"I dont wanna die," he chuckled out, "but im not sad." He drew small shapes into your hips with his thumbs, looking onto your laps instead of your face, and you just stared at him.

His usually stoic face was calmed, relaxed, his jaw unclenched and his eyes soft. You hadnt seen so many emotions from your boyfriend so much, it was almost scary. But he looked so gorgeous, he was your world.

"Wakatoshi Ushijima, you know," your placed your hands on both sides of his face, "it doesnt matter what happens to this world, because," you placed a passionate kiss to his lips, the tears finally falling from your eyes, "you, you're my world Toshi."

He let out a noise that was similar to a choke, tears rolling down the apple of his cheeks as he placed his forehead to yours, letting his shoulders shake with hard sobs. Loud crashes, screams and car alarms had let you know it was coming, the end of the world.

The last thing you saw was Ushijima, smiling snd crying, mouthing out one last 'I love you'.

Why does the end of the world look so beautiful?

© tomura-heart — all rights reserved. reposting, modifying, or copying is not allowed. do not translate. do not read my writing as asmr. do not plagiarize.

[willykappymarnsmatts]

Wrong Direction: Chapter 2 (K. Kapanen)

@moriellymakesmesoft

“I just got off the phone with Max,” it's been two weeks since I've moved into Will’s place, my stuff still in boxes all over the apartment.

“Oh?’ William responds, tossing me a smoothie from the fridge as we get ready to go to practice. I still go to sleep in tears and wake up with puffy eyes, but Willy makes me feel like everythings going to be okay, if not today then someday soon. “How is he?”

“Good,” I tell him, scratching at the back of my neck, refusing to look up at him knowing what comes next. “He asked me to come stay with him. Well, he didn't ask. He's kinda forcing me.”

“Oh,” Will says. He turns around and faces me with a look on his face of a mix of betrayal and hurt, and it makes me want to burst into tears. “Um, well, are you gonna go?”

“I have to, babe. He's my brother, and he said that if I don't come by myself he'll pack my things for me the next time he comes to Toronto.” I feel bad, but I do miss Max.

Willy just frowns at me. “When are you leaving?”

“Uh, tomorrow. He said he'd buy me a plane ticket.”

“To Montreal?! I could drive you!”

“I know, its okay. He’s the one paying so I don't really care honestly. Don't we have to get going?’

“Yeah,” he giggles, glancing at the watch on his wrist.

On our way to the arena, I take deep breaths to try to calm my racing heart and shaking hands. Seeing Kasperi this often still hurts just as bad as seeing him in bed with that girl. But the whole situation has given me a lot of inspiration for a new song that i've been working on, bouncing ideas off of Will day and night.

He notices my agitation and reaches over to grab my hand. “After this, you won't ever have to see him or me ever again.”

“Hey, don't say that,” I pout. “I'll be back and i'll move back in with you, if you let me, in a couple months. I just need a break from Toronto. Everything I know is laced with memories of him. I can't even enjoy your games because he's there.”

Will nods without looking away from the road. “You're always welcome at my place. We’re all still really pissed at him, you know. Mitch hasn't spoken to him since that night, and you know how Mitch is. Auston doesn't even look at him, and Zach’s only talking to him because he feels bad that everyone is making every effort to ignore him but me. The whole fucking team loves you, Y/N. Oh, and Derms took a slapshot at his ankle the other night and he had to sit out for an entire period.”

My eyes are brimmed with tears and I have to look up at the ceiling of the car to keep them from spilling over. “Can you let the guys know i'm leaving? I'll obviously talk to them, but I don't want to be the one to break the news to them.”

Will nods. “Of course.” he smiles at me then and looks away from the road for a split second to wipe away a tear.

•••

I sit in the third row to watch the boys’ practice and try to continue writing, but the yelling and pucks hitting the boards constantly is distracting, so eventually I give up and watch them skate. During a water break, I catch myself watching Kasperi. All he does is take a few deep breaths, but watching him like this, as if nothing ever happened, makes my heart shatter. Before I can look away, he looks up at me and I watch his entire face fall. He stares at me and I stare back. He studies me, as if to memorize me. I can't look away, and he refuses to skate away. He continues forward, until he's at the boards and we’re a few feet away from each other. Neither of us can pretend we weren't looking at each other. He stops, and so does my heart. And we just watch each other. Just stare. My heart is breaking with every moment that passes, and my stomach hurts, because he was my everything.

A whistle blows. Kasperi whips his head around. The sounds of the rink come back into my ears, and we’re both taken out of the world where we were the only two people who existed. He skates away, glancing back at me once before never looking back at me again.

•••

“Y/N,” Willy says as soon as I answer his facetime call. I've been in Montreal with Max for about two months and I released my song about a week ago. Wills is driving back from practice, which is when he gives me a rundown on how “incredible” he was and how he's gonna kick ass at the next game. But today he looks anything but confident, his forehead a mass of worry lines and his mouth turned down into a frown.

“Y/N, your song is saved on my playlist, and I got the aux this morning. After practice, it came on. Most of us were singing, and I glanced at Kap, and he was just sitting there in his stall. He wasn't moving. Just staring straight ahead.”

I sit up. “Woah, slow down. I thought Kasperi and I were finished.” When I moved away, after the day at the rink, Will told me that Kasperi stopped seeming to care. He was out with a different girl every two days, bringing random girls home every day of the weekend. It still hurts, but it hurt more to realize that our entire relationship meant nothing to him. But if Will is telling the truth, which I don't doubt he is, it makes everything a whole lot more confusing.

“I thought so too, but listen. I think that it was your voice at first, Y/N. He hasn't heard your voice in months. And then he heard the rest of the song, he listened without moving, and as soon as it ended he got up, in just his slides and shorts, and fucking left the room.”

I'm silent, letting Will talk. “The rest of us didn't know what to do, so I tried to follow him. I found him in the weights room, and he was in tears.” Will flicks on the turn signal and turns onto his street, then glances at his phone to see if he should continue the story. I nod at him, holding my breath to keep from breaking down at the thought of Kasperi.

“I went to him and sat with him, and he just cried. I haven't seen him cry since he thought I was getting promoted to the bigs and he wasn't. But he was sobbing. So I sat with him, and eventually he calmed down enough to choke out that he misses you. He told me the girls were a front, and that he hasn't been able to sleep ever since that night. And, Y/N, I dont think he's lying. His eyes always have huge bags under them and he's so shaky. So I asked him why he did it, but he didn't have an answer. He said he missed you and he felt like you didn't love him anymore because you were always out doing stuff for your album, but I told him that was bullshit and he said he knew it. He told me he can't breathe without, and that he hates that he hurt you. So I told him to talk to you, and he said he'd try to text you later today.”

“Damn,” I respond, not sure how to feel. “I want to love him again, but I don't know if I can trust him.”

“You don't have to. He knows he hurt you, and that he has to work to get you back, but I am asking you to please just try to talk to him, because fuck, Y/N, if there’s a such thing as soulmates, it’s you guys. You're both in so much pain. Take your time, keep your walls up, but just talk to him.”

“Okay. Okay, fine.”

“Thank you, beautiful best friend. I'm home now, so I'll call you back in a couple hours?”

“Yeah, that’s cool. See ya.”

He ends the call and I'm left in silence. Then my phone dings with a text notification in my hand, and my heart picks up speed. I know exactly who it is, and I don't want to look at it, not right away, so I throw it across the couch with a pillow on top of it.

I put my head in my hands and try to slow my speeding heart by taking a few deep breaths. “Fuck!” I yell, then silently thank Max for going out a few hours ago. I wipe my face with my hands and sit straight up.

I stare at the pillow my phone is sitting under, knowing without ever checking that there is a text from Kasperi Kapanen waiting for me. My phone dings again and my heart jumps. I stand up and rip my phone from under the pillow.

‘wrong direction huh’

‘i miss u’

I cover my mouth with my hand and my eyes brim with tears. I sit back slowly onto the couch and read over the messages two, three, four more times before unlocking my phone and tapping on the text bar.

‘Dang, how'd u know it was abt u?’

I smile slightly as I type out the message and hold my breath when I hit send. I don't have to wait even a second before the three bubbles come up on the screen.

‘no idea’

‘ig im just tht good’

I laugh and type out another response.

‘Imyt. How r u?’

I bite my lip when the text bubbles come up, and a few seconds later his response comes.

‘could be better tbh. can’t sleep @ the apt nymore so i spend the nites b4 games @ 1 of the guys places’

My breath catches at the words. Then another message pops up.

‘im so sry 4 everything’

I bite my lip and close my eyes, taking a breath.

‘Thx. I havent stopped thinking abt u’

‘me neither’

I take another deep breath. Kasperi was my favourite person, my person, for so long. It's scary how easily we can fall back into simple, comfortable conversation, as if nothing ever happened. So I decide to be straight up and honest with him, and if he really does still care about me, he’ll understand.

‘U broke me, Kasperi. I never thought tht u would hurt me, and u literally broke me. I miss u more than nything and it hurts so bad to b without u, but seeing u in bed with another girl, tht broke me. It felt like our whole relationship was built on lies, and tht u never actually cared abt me. So yeah, i cant stop thinking abt u, and i want to b able to love you again, but u broke my trust and idk if ill ever trust u like i did before.’

I hit send and feel like I'm going to be sick. Everything I type I’ve told Will and all the other guys, but after the day I left the apartment, I never spoke to Kasperi about anything. The three bubbles come up on the screen and I hold my breath, then they disappear. They come up and disappear a couple more times, until a message finally pops up on the screen.

‘i wish i could take back everything i ever did 2 hurt u, but ik its not tht ez. i rly do want 2 fix this, tho. would u b down to ft l8r?’

I can't breathe, but I manage to type out a response without screaming.

‘Sure. Just text me when ur ready’

I take a deep breath and click my phone off. I'm about to get up when my phone dings again. I glance at the message and it makes my chest feel like it's going to explode.

‘ok i will <3’

I smile down at the screen and go to plug in my phone so it's charged when Kasperi wants to call. I really don't know if I'll ever be able to trust him again, but the least I can do is give him a chance to apologize. He's already broken me so badly, even if he lets me down again nothing will compare to the amount of hurt I’ve already felt.

[stuff-i-like-to-share]

Fanfics i would Love to read but not talented enough to write them myself...

.... fanfics... or even better if that was actual scenes in season 4!

1. Gilbert seating on the train writing a draft of his letter to Anne, getting emotional, passionate not noticing old lad seating next to him with his wife looking at eachother smiling at young love. Telling him a short story of their love and how they have been separated and how they would suprise eachother by visiting every now and then.

2. Anne talking to Diana and deciding not to tell anyone about her and Gilbert before she actually speak with him... which later on will pay of in girls faces when they see them kissing lol

3. Anne receiving her first letter from Gilbert and being over the moon, sending her own letter straight away and meeting young intelligent boy at the post office which turnes out is at queens aswel.

4. Gilbert and Anne meeting new people, having their lessons and studies and writing little notes to add their letters, collecting little flowers, making it very personal.

5. Gilbert being jealous over this new boy which Anne mentioned in 3 letters already. Doing extra work to finish his studies few days earlier to travel to Charlottetown and see Anne.

6. All girls seating outside, learning, talking romance, Anne and Diana giving eachother side looks because nobody knows about Gilbert yet... Anne getting very emotional she havent seen Gilbert in 2months while Ruby talking about daily walks with Moody.. her eyes tear up, girls are like ohh r you ok Anne when one of them look up from their blanket and bw like: oh, Gilbert whatever you doing here...

Anne jumped up straight into his arms, he swings her around in a massive hug, then they about to kiss, tios of their lips about to touch when Diananotice Girls faces and goes like: uhmm

Gilbert and Anne look at all the suprised girls, get a bit shy, Gilbert let's Anne out of his tight hug and they stand there looking at eachother for short while, Gilbert is like: ladies... if you dont mind I would like to steal Anne for a... looks at Anne not knowing what to say, but she finish his sentence for him: tea! There's certain matters we need to discuss with Gil... with Mr. Blythe... she says while looking at Gilbert's dreamy eyes... Girls being so confused and shocked by whole situation just nods while they walk out through back gate.

7. The moment they are away enough from girls and the boarding house Gilbert swing Anne in the air again with the cutest smile, she laughs, then they step to the side of little quiet road and he kiss like theres no tomorrow...

Talk about their studies... then walk past tea house and Gilbert is like, oh we are here and Anne look at him with a cheeky smile... shes like oh we are not really going to have a tea are we.. its dull and full of boring people.. Gilbert laughs at memory of being awkward with Winfred at one of them tea houses.

Anne takes Gilbert to one of her favourite parks, they walk by the water.. theres a small patch of grass surrounded by trees, Sun sneaking through the branches, they are finally alone and kissing and cuddling... they sat on the grass talking, laughing, simply staring into eachothers eyes... they lie down cloud gazing playing with each hands, hair...

8. Gilbert walking Anne back to her house, talking about leaving to Avonlea and telling everyone, both but stressed about their families reaction... they stop by the gate to avoid Anne getting kn trouble, hold eachothers hands. Gilbert's is like: so... we are... courting? Its official! Anne gives him a shy smile: I still cant belive it... Gilbert gives her a soft kiss and tells her he will come and see her at queens next day so the can travel together back to Avonlea.

9. Anne back to her room where she is immediately flooded by questions from all the girls... You kissed him, he kissed you in public, oh that's nothing like Gilbert we knows.. Anne stands there waiting for them to calm down and simply just say: I'm in love with Gilbert Blythe for a while now, and what I recently been informed about, hes been (she srops realising he never actually said he loves her...) ... having feeling for me aswel, for a while... we will be seeing our families tomorrow as we are offering courting.. girls get all hyped, asking questions if hes a good kisser Ruby throws a little comment that she actually always was confused when she thought hes looking at her but it was more like he was staring at Anne and that shes happy for her...

(Sorry... long list... I didint realised km so needy and desperate for fanfics 🙈)

10. All Anne can think if at school is fact that she is going to see Gilbert very soon and they will travel together back home...

She bumped into her friend, Roy which btw also have feeling for her and jokingly often admits he thinks Anne's is the most beautiful girl at queens etc... which Anne is ignoring as all she thinks of Gilbert and studies.

They walk out of school together, Roy lean and whisper somwthkng into Anne's ear, she laughs and notice Gilbert, wave at him, theyvwalk towards eachother. Gilbert's jaw is pulsing, hes jealous. Anne introduces them to each other and Gilbert have a little flashback to when he was introducing Winnie to Anne and disint know how to refer to Winfred, Anne did almost the same thing as it's actually first time she have to introduce Gilbert as her bou. Boys shake their hands bit stronger than they should, Anne says goodbye to Roy and her friends, Gilbert then offers her his arm to hold on to while looking at Roy standing and watching them walk away.

11. Gilbert is bit confused and worried, he isnt talking much on the way back, Anne is so excited shes doing most of the talking.. she noticed Gilbert acting wierd and asks, he then have tiny emotional tantrum and tells her he doesnt like the way this Roy guy is into her... she laughs and tells him theres nothing there, beside the only person she cares about... she ... loves its Gilbert.. he smiles, hold her hand... she then get a bit worried because its been 3 times when she said it out loud she loves him and Gilbert didint say it back.

12. They decided to invite Gilbert's family for dinner to Green Gables and then tell them together so when they get out of the train and see Matthew they being careful not to look to excited. Matthew offer Gilbert a ride back home and noticed little looks between Anne and Gilbert.

13. The dinner ready, Gilbert, Bash and Deli arrives at Green Gables, all the way Bash was giving Gilbert side looks with a cheeky smile and asking what so important they have to go to dinner tonight and not some other day... Gilbert just smiles and says its was Anne's idea on their way back from train station.. Marila opens the door calling for Matthew and Anne..

Anne come downstairs, Gilbert gets up with the most hearty eyes, theyblook at eachother for a while, and everyone e in the room glance at Anne then Gilbert, Marila and Bash look at eachother with a smile, Matthew looks a little bit concerned...

14. Anne stand in the middle of the room, Gilbert walks to her with a smile, turn around and stand by her side, they look at each other with a shy smile, he then pick up Anne's hand and while holding it dearly in his both hands he say something like: Marila, Matthew, Sebastian... Delphine (with a little smile as she giggle at he uncle)

We have some news, I mean... I would like to ask your permission first, ofcourse... uhmm

I would like to ask your permission to court with Anne... uhm... we recently discovered we both... have feelings for eachother... (Anne give him a concerned side look as again he wont say he loves her)

I needs to know if you Marila and Mathew gives us your... blessing..

They look at each other, Marila stands up, walked to them, hold their hands with tears in her eyes saying that shes so happy for them and their happiness and love is what matters... Bash alsongwts up and hug Gilbert with biggest smile saying he knew it and that he is so happy for them.. Anne then looks at Matthew which looks a bit sad.. gilbert then says: Matthew?

And hes like: if Anne's happy I am aswel, gets up and shakes Gilbert's hand, Anne hugs him.

15. They all seating alntalking, laughingnover the dinner table, Anne playing with Deli and Gilbert joining her, Matthew and Marila getting emotional as this is another big step towards losing their precious Anne.

16. Bash joking around, quietly saying to Marila about them behaving like perfect parents. Matthew then walking out but emotional.. Both Anne and Gilbert looking at eachother, Anne wanted Ringo but Gilbert telling her to stay and walking out behind Matthew. Then having a heartwarming conversation, telling Matthew how much he cares for Anne.

17. Anne kissing Gilbert goodbye and Bash seeing it, making comments about it on their way back home.

18. Anne and Gilbert going for walk... Gilbert being cheeky and keep touching Anne's hands, hair, face... talking about feeling when Anne suddenly tear up and tells him she wants to go back home, take a turn thru the woods, Gilbert all confused ran after her asking what's wrong, She then have a little go at him that shes scared he dowsnt really love her because it's been months and he never actually said he loves her... he then loom into her eyes, hold her face in his hands and tells her: I am in love with you Anne, my Anne with an e, I'm in love with you since i remember, it's always been you Anne...

He kiss her then and after the kiss shes all like: but why dont you say it..

He looked at her with sad eyes: I'm afraid of losing you Anne, most of people I ever loved are gone... I cant lose you Anne, I... love you to much, it hurts just thinking about losing you...

He seats on fallen tree, tell her a story of his mothers death while giving him birth, of his brothers dieing one after another to illness... then his father.. and dear Mary... he opens up and cry while she listens and hold his hand.

She then tells him how much sorry she is for being selfish and forcing him to say it, but he wont mind as it's been a while since he could open up like this and it feels so right to talk to his Anne.

They hug and talk about how Mary would be happy for them, Anne recalls his father and fact he said he herd alot about her and Gilbert getting all shy saying he told him alot abt Anne because even then he would not stop caring about her, back then he wasnt sure what it was, it was pulling him towards Anne, only recently he realised it's always been love...

Then they say it together and laugh...

19. As they are walking out of the forest Anne tripped and fall into a ditch, Gilbert laughs recalling the day Marila was talking about Anne in the ditch, asking her if that's how her adventures looks like and as shes a bit upset with him at first she also laughs saying he is her biggest adventure now...

20. Then as he helps her out, they stand and laughs, he gives her a soft kiss, Rachel Lynde watches it from nearby as she was just walking back from ms. Stacy's...

All shocked she rushed to Green Gables to talk to Marila... Markla gives he a little talk about being young and in love and maybe if she would listen to her heart she would be married now... as they talk Anne and Gilbert walks into the kitchen laughing... they both look ar Rachel bit scared of her comments.. but she gaze at Marile for short while thinking, then she gets up, walkes to them and congratulate them with a little cheeky comment about kissing...

21. They are back to their schools, emotional and full of love goodbyes, girls sneakily watching them and giggling...

22. Series of letters, Roy finding one of Anne's letters she left in one of her books he borrowed... then making a declaration.. Anne feeling overwhelmed as she does like Roy alot and woildnt want to ruin their friendship... bit of an argument between Anne and Gilbert, Roy trying to kiss her and she slapping his face...

23. Christmas back in Avonlea, together one big happy family... Anne and Gilbert sneaking out at night to spend time together... kissing and rolling in the barn...

24. Anne having a flashback from orphanage and Gilbert asking what's wrong, atvfitstvshe doesn't want to tell him but one night they talk and she opens up and tells him everything, about being bullied and treated like trash... about her imagination helping her get trough... about how broken she always felt and never couldn't even imagine being loved, and having so many loving people in her life... she would tell him about how worried she was her parents have her away because they disint love her as she was an ugly redheaded baby... Gilbert then kisses her single messy braid and tells her how much he loves her red hair and how much he Hope's their children will have same hair as her.. she then freaks out a little because she never actually thought about children and the way Gilbert talks it sounds so natural for him... she then look at him with a smile: out babies?

And gilbert is like: oh gosh, I I didint meant to scare you... but.. dont you think about... our future Anne? Coz I do.. alot he admits with a bit shy face..

She then say she only imagine their future together but she never actually thought about children... he get a bit stressed but then she adds that now he mentioned it, she also is looking forward to having a child, maybe two... they laugh and joke about it a little ... Bash and Ms. Stacy get married which course outbreak but after several years of secretly meeting and falling more in love they decided to go against the system. She ends up losing her job as a teacher but she writes books and articles to newspapers instead while pregnant with their first child. She also moves in with Bash his mother and Deli as Gilbert told Bash that after school he wont be living with them anymore. Elijah moves out as he met lovely girl himself, got married and lives outside Charlottetown, visiting them often and always helping with the harvest.

25. New years eve, theres a ball, dancing, beautiful scenes of them having fun together... Gilbert taking Anne back to green Gables.. he turn towards the cliffs... they walk together to the cliffs end, stand there looking into stars, he then drop on his knee, holding a ring, a beautiful ring and ask her to marry him, which she obviously say yes to.

26. Time skip with a bit of letters between them and their lives at school etc... suprised visits and going back home..

Matthew having another heart attack, being bed stuck, Jerry rushing to get a doctor but it's to far and they wouldn't make it, Matthew dieing with Anne and Marila by his bed... Gilbert coming to Avonlea back from his practice next day, Bash tells him what happened,bhe rush to Green Gables and Fojnd Anne in awful state.. Jerry explain to him he went to fetch the doctor from other town but it was to late... he apologise to Anne for not being here, she tells him it's not his fault... but he feels responsible for not being close to his family... he decides to come back and be a town doctor after all his school and practice is finished...

28. Anne after getting approval from mrs lacroix (stacy) applied and got the job as a teacher in Avonlea school, helping Marila as shes still very unstable after losing Matthew.

29. Then beautiful wedding in Avonlea... Marila crying.. Anne missing Matthew dearly.. lots of memories, laughs and dancing...

30. When Anne got the job as a teacher she also got the house ms Stacy useto lived in, she decided to stay at green Gables until theh get married but she got the house already for them week before the wedding.

They get back home, to their very own home, Anne is so happy it's in the woods as she always felt special connection to nature...

They have wonderful night and sweet love making, both happy in eachothers arms, enjoying the rest of their life together...

Gilbert suggest to Anne that she could write a book same as ms Stacy which she starts very next day...

31. Another skip in time... Anne giving birth, Gilbert doing his best, baby is breached, hes scared of losing Anne, of losing them both. Marila is there aswel... Baby is finally born but it isnt crying... Gilbert pass the baby to Marila and take care of Anne... she walks out quickly to check on the baby as therws still not a single cry in the house, Anne is bleeding alot, but asking for her baby... he walked in to the kitchen Marila standing there crying, he take baby if her hands and wrap aswel, their very first baby, product of their undying love didint survive the labour... he hugged his child pressing him to his chest, kissed his head... he then walked back to Anne's room... Marilenherd loud moan and deep desperate cry, shes crying herself... Gilbert asked if Anne wants to say her goodbyes. She said yes and hold her baby in her arms crying... they gold a little funeral two days after... Anne is devastated... her and Gilbert having a breakdown together crying...

32. Two years later Gilbert find himself worrying for his wife's life once agin... it was hard for them to decide tontryvfor another baby... Anne wanted it and now Gilbert is scared to death about his Anne and baby to come. Luckily this time everything went smoothly with mo single complication, baby cries and they both hold it together crying of happiness.

Then years later Anne writing another book, while their children are playing together outside of green Gables... Marilas dying wish was for Anne ro have Green Gables, it was her home and she wanted Anne and her family to live happy life in there...

Gilbert is backnfeom work, they seat on the porch, drinking tea, looking at eachother with hearty eyes, talking about their achievements kids keep running up to them, hugging and kissing them. They smile, stand up watching their 6 children being cheeky.

I love you Carrots...

I love you to Gil...

Then they kiss with even more passion than ever...

The end...

Gosh that possibly the longest post I ever wrote... when I started I had only abt 15 ideas... but as I wrote more and more... even more ideas came to my head... sorry for a long bit messy read... just wanted to share some of things that kept me awake since we found out about s4 being cancelled...

Anyway.... hope you enjoyed it... sorry for any mistakes... will proofread tomorrows as today its been a while since I started writing this...

[tfw-no-tennis]

hhhhhhxh

more abt hxh bc my last post was too long n i had to split it off holla

so i left off talking abt when gon woke up....i love how polite gon is to pretty much everyone - hes such a good lad all the time. s/o to his aunt for raising him right (tho i think hes also just a rlly good boy inherently too)

also is he named gon bc ging was like ha ha im boutta be GONe lol seeya kid!!!! like ????

i find it interesting that kurapika and hisoka fought....we really havent seen them interact at all yet. also hisoka is so smirk-y i hate that bitch...what did he say to kurapika?????? 

this poor red shirt old guy lmao hisoka is SO clearly uninterested in fighting him and then he fucking dies. rip mdude

what did hisoka whisper to HIM??? guess we’ll never know #RIPLegend

oh mannnn if killua had just won against pokkle then he wouldnt have had to deal with illumi doing That to him :( my smug son......

leorio is such a good dude....also its so funny to me how tall and lanky leorio is, espec compared to the other 3 main characters lmaoooo

or maybe those 3 are just rlly short??? i mean gon and killua are literally 12, but whats kurapikas excuse

GODDDD I HATE THIS BIIIIITCH. FUCK OFFFFFFF tho the evil piano music slaps. but jeeeeesus illumi is so creepy and awful, and seeing him take off his disguise is not any better a second time...he and hisoka truly deserve each other wrow

does illumi have hair powers??? cause it kinda looks like it. or maybe hes just gay and dramatic 

ok but the sick electric guitar riff (?) that played when illumis face was revealed was lowkey kinda hilarious

man i was so wrong abt killua knowing that that was illumi :( poor kid

killua is immediately freaking out and meanwhile illumi looks bored as hell. dude ur the worst 

killua: [freaking out] illumi, completely blank-faced: hey 

I HATE HIMMMM even tho his catman design is regrettably kinda cute

why do illumi and hisoka both have such snatched waists i hate this

wtf so killua has another different brother??? i assumed he attacked illumi....how many fuckgin zoldyk sibling are there?????

leorio ur too normie for this conversation lmao. also wow fucked up family huh

killua looks so like...small and helpless, which is so at odds from what we’ve seen of him so far :( this poor kid

illumi totally has some weird brain powers man callin it now 

gon: wow killuas family sounds wack...  satotz: oh lmao you havent even heard the rest 

KILLUA ;_; 

this poor baby assassin :( :( :(

IMMM INCONSOLABLE. HE WANTS TO BE FRIENDS W/GON.......ARE YOU KIDDING....AUGHHHHHHHH

meanwhile gon decided he and killua are BEST FRIENDS like 10 mins after they met. GOD 

like in the recap ep he called killua his best friend ;_; and meanwhile killua doesnt even think they ARE friends god destroy me 

this calming classical music is throwing me off vbhjfjhbsdkgndks

i sense that leorio and kurapika are rapidly acquiring a new son

DAMN THIS IS SO FUUUUCKEDDDDD illumi is such a crusty bitch wow. leave killua alone asshole 

all that stuff abt killua like, only thinking he wants to befriend gon but really wanting to kill him....that sure sounds like some ‘worst fears’ type of shit for someone like killua....illumi is such a classic abuser wow

i have 2 know is satotz like, repeating this entire conversation verbatim in a calming monotone to gon rn. like....

LEORIOOOOO I LOVE UUUUUUUU AUGHHHH him telling killua it doesnt matter if illumi is his brother, fuck that guy, beat him up as usual and leave.....ooooughhhh leorio is such a good dude ;_; 

and the OF COURSE him saying the obvious - that gon and killua are ALREADY friends....i love this, i feel like leorio said all the exact things the audience is thinking...yet it still didnt get thru to killua bc hes so rattled by illumi appearing, and the abuse in general 

i think if gon were there things wouldve gone much differently 

of COURSE crusty bitch illumi is like oh ok now i have to kill gon.....biiiiitch i hate uuuuu 

also that just shows that hes lying to killua (which we already knew obvs), bc if it were inevitable that killua would kill gon to like, test himself or w/e, then why not just wait for that to happen? that would have a much bigger impact on killua than illumi killing gon....its obvious that illumi is just manipulating him, but killua is too BSOD to be able to tell (also, hes 12)

ok bitch illumi is preaching abt not needing friends but he and hisoka are definitely fucking and theyve been teamed up for the entire hunter exam it seems.....what a hypocrite. hate this guy

god im so glad we didnt rlly get to see whatever the fuck illumi did to that random hunter examiner guy’s face. jeeeeesus. also i cant tell but i wonder if him forcing that info out of the guy was the result of his freaky mind powers or if the guy was just like oof ouch pins in me face

LEORIO AND KURAPIKAAAA THE PROTECT GON SQUAD!! and joined by new member hanzo!!! who ironically beat gon up for 3 hours str8 like, a very short amount of time ago lmao. but still i love that sm

illumi u dumb bitch.....tho i dont buy for a minute that he didnt already realize that killing gon would disqualify him...he defs just wanted to get under killuas skin even more :^( 

KILLUAAAA ;_; when he goes to step back from illumi but illumi tells him not to....ughhh HATE this guy, leave this poor kid alone. no wonder he wanted to leave

illumi saying theres only 1 way that killua can stop him - does he mean by killing him, or something more specific, like some forbidden zoldyk murder technique? 

‘your beloved gon’ wow gay. theyre 12 and theyre dating ok. killua is literally that kid whos like wow i wonder if gon likes me...and meanwhile gon is like wow cant believe me and killua have been dating for 3 months now

leorio saying ‘we wont let him kill you or gon’ ;_; leorio ily sm...thats like the exact right thing to say - hes offering protection and reassurance as an adult figure...unfortunately killua is clearly too freaked out to even process anything outside of illumis gaslighting and abuse 

also illumi is defs doing something to killua w/his eyes via his freaky mind powers. js

illumi i hate you stop being weirdly cute. augh 

classic abuse tactics, being like ha ha nvm i wasnt gonna kill gon! jk!

killua just shutting down completely after that :( :( noooo

and then he kills that old guy and leaves, ‘proving’ that illumi is right....noooooOOOO

and now we boutta see gon go FULL shounen protag for the first time, oh FUCKKKKKK yesssss

this is the first time we’ve seen gon angry oooh man and of COURSE its on killuas behalf,....im so fuckign emo already looooord

god ok the episode preview where its gon saying ‘do leorio and i look alike?’ YES U DO LOL youre father and son so jot that down 

oof, gon and illumi have such fundamentally different POVs on like, family and life and morals, and you can tell by their 4-line exchange before gon does the ICONIC one-handed grab’n’fling

AUGHHHH gon saying hes gonna rescue killua....SO good...he recognizes that killuas family is wack as hell and killua shouldnt be w/them - the classic ingrained ‘found family is more important than blood family’ stuff

tho thats an interesting contrast to gon himself, whos looking for his deadbeat dad

‘but it wasnt his choice’ that so good ily gon BEST boy, hes so perceptive and good......he knows that killuas hand was forced and that he needs to be RESCUED (love that word choice) from his shitty abusive family

of course kurapika and leorio voiced complaints ;_; best parents 

kurapika should be a lawyer tbh 

leorioooo ;_; such a good dude, saying he should be disqualified instead 

HOW is leorio a stronger combatant than that old dude hvbajufjbsja that guy had some moves it seemed, and leorio has,....a knife? a briefcase? the classic premed attitude of ‘fuck it, i could die anytime, lets do this’? like.....cmon vhabjdfjbhsf i refuse to believe this man is of any use in a fight. ill believe it when i see it

pokkle pls ur not plot-important enough to be jumping into this convo rn

tho i am curious abt what hisoka said to kurapika. tho i agree that thats irrelevant to the discussion 

gon repeating satotz’s wisdom :’) and saying that killua will definitely pass if he takes the exam again...ough

gon is SO GOOD i cant get over it !!!!!!!!! AUGHHHH....recusing killua from his abusive family and making it so killua never has to see them again is like...so good. what a good good perfect boy.

also thats like, the perfect response to this. killing illumi would just start a ton of drama, and killua would be conflicted abt that....but removing killua from his situation is perfect 

ok ive ranted a lot ill talk abt the rest later woohoo

PREDICTIONS: 

i predict that hisoka will show up in this upcoming zoldyk arc somewhere bc illumis gonna be in it (i assume) and theyre dating. also hisoka is a central character so itd make sense for him to show up in the second major arc. tho tbh this could end up being completely false and i wouldnt be that shocked lmao

i think leorio is gonna get Big Sad someday bc hes like, so normal compared to the other MCs, and also hes suuuuch a bleeding heart (i love him....) so i feel like thats gonna lead to some sadness for him once his friends start doing crazy shit or w/e 

also i predict that if he gets nen itll be like healing nen or st. does that even exist??? idk jack shit abt nen lmao 

i think that illumi has hypnosis powers or something, even just based on design alone. it could defs be for aesthetic (character design in hxh is wild), but his eyes look noticeably different from any other characters. also he was doing some freaky shit to killua. also i held this prediction before seeing the part where this is brought up so we’ll see if its right lmao 

as for this upcoming arc -  ruth and i are wondering if itll be similar to the vinsmoke drama in one piece - character goes back to abusive family, squad goes to rescue them...and then character refuses to be recused. w/sanji it was partially bc the vinsmokes threatened to kill zeff, his TRUE dad, but i predict in this case it could be more like the zoldyks saying ‘look killua these 3 weirdos showed up looking for you, convince them to leave or we’ll kill them’ and killua will be like, oh shit bc like.....think abt it. the vinsmokes targeted zeff (and not the strawhats) bc they knew they could easily kill him. same goes here, i assume - a family of trained assassins vs Good Good Fishing Rod Smell-Power Boy (who hasnt thrown a single punch yet), Lanky Dr Man With A Switchblade We Havent Seen Him Use Onscreen, and Mx 2 Wooden Sticks, Bloodlust, and Arachnophobia - 3 For 1 Deal! its a no-contest. so thats one thing i could see happening, potentially 

im way too tired to remember my other predictions rip lmao

[rewrentless]

Taz Balance Quotes

I have no idea how long ive been working on this, between 2 and 7 months but finally ive made a list of memorable quotes /quotes that made me chuckle

-Any you driads down to clown

-That was my grandfathers haunch

-Everyone needs a barry bluejeans!

-You shouldnt had your dog jump up my ass! I dont think my dog could fit in an ass! You havent seen this ass

-Eat me barry

-If you were making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and you dropped some jelly on the counter are you gonna take a knife and just start cutting at it you dumb son of a bitch??

-she thinks my tractors sexy and i think im no longer welcome here

-hello hello welcome to my caev

-abraca fuck you

-hey you calm the fuck down sir theres no yelling at fantasy Costco!

-its like a bag of holding but for ass

-merle i can see 3/4 to 4/5 of your entire butt

-the railsplitter passes through the tree like a baseball bat passing through a ghost

-youve solved my shrek puzzle

-a witch kissed me and cursed me so that anytime anybody yells a secret word i have to attend to their every need and that word is my fucking name jenkins

-infinite bean!!!

-i got a murder wall in my brain!

-time-pon! The time travelling tampon!

-lord steven q fletcher esquire the goldfish the third

-'yeah he really beat me in a test of wits and wagers' and winks at taako over and over just winking

- hey baby i love your tendrils

-i got here a few minutes ago and i can not take my eyes off you i looked at you across the square 60 feet away and i said do not be chopping on this baby

-you and the box both drink poison and you survive but the box has died. With that the box pops open

-does everyone get that i have an elevator fetish at this point?

-griffen we gotta fight some weeds at floor 20!

-my names not jerry its ... jerrieeeeee

-but listen guys now i gotta take a poop, you know like a poop like a real emergent poop

-'your name ... of course ... is... taako. Sike thats just mine say my name!' i cast magic missile

-so youre sayin we eat him

-youre all beautiful butterflake snowflies

-im actually a mongoose meow

-and inside the envelopes there is  200 gold pieces  ‘thanks for these shitty jangly envelopes’

-i hand her a coupon for one free backrub

-magnus this is the nightmare scenario

-hot diggity shit that is a baller cookie

-i made you guys chairs for your new digs and if you lift up the cushion it doubles as an indoor toilet

-davenport read the room!

-mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm davenport

-i start to very subtly and very easily cry

-last time i was in an elevator vines tried to eat my dick

-the late merle highchurch rolled a 5

-’youre a god!’ I definately am

-youre not stupid youre beautiful

-its kinda ridiculous how many pies we got our toes in

-your mother would swaddle you young taako baby taako and just sing to you oh shit sweet flip oh dip sweet flip my little nugget

-god liiiieed to me

-magnus can kiss my kenny chesney tattoo

-you found her?!

-hey thug whats your name im about to tentacle your dick?

-if travis cant move his legs then i shall create his legs!

-im just an elevator climb on in ma belly!

-press ma buttons from inside a me

-if you wanted to lure me in there you shoulda stayed handsome ma fella

-'i tap it with the gluttons fork and i swallow it' 'what the f uck'

-ive got to switch between different accents to trick my prey

-when that day comes little man oh when that day comes i will summon whatever powers i still have at my disposal that you have not sipphoned away from me and i will take all of my canny and all of my cunning and all arcanas still within my reach and i will use it to strike you down little man

-dungeons and dragons and daddies

-fantasy shorts fantasy shorts fantasy shorts fantasy shorts!

-i cast zone of truth!

-junebug

-this chair smells like grandmas

-this scene is memorable to you now but in the moment you werent thinking im going to remember everything about this moment

-inifate bag of boys

-if it had flesh then it would be a bag of skin full of fucking goo

-"how do you not have a six it comes with every board game?" "My daughter..." "eats them for power??"

-because in wonderland... there is no healing (shit eating grin)

-liches get stitches

-son of a lich

-you built the fucking door out of wood shit wood

-bad luck

-ill be having my body back you undead fuck

-sturdy. denim. and blue

-i have updated my list of people i trust and things i believe to no one and nothing

-those are the arms that have held my wife

-i cant fight i cant protect i cant do anything in this body

- i saw seven birds

-the twins, the lover, the protecter, the lonely journal keeper, the peacemaker and the wordless one

-i dont know but i feel like i trust you

-dont let them erase me magnus

-how could you forget lup

-nerd alert!

-greg grimaldis you owe me $15 and i aim to collect

-i have to believe that im gonna get those $15 back from greg fucking grimaldis

-the one thing we do have is the thing that people in love rarely ever have enough of and its time

-I dont know about in love its only been... 21 years

-are you my friend?

-what brings me joy is... life. I think you can find joy anywhere in life i thibk its a concious choice i think you choose joy in life and no matter how bad things are no matter how crummy no matter how dark no matter how many times some guy named john kills your ass you find joy. I’ve found joy, honest to God, getting to know you. I’ve found joy playing chess with you. I have enjoyed - i haven’ t enjoyed you know, getting my ass killed, but i find joy in whatever I do. I don’t always do things right, and I don’t always do things smart, and I don’t always do a character voice, but whatever i do, i find joy in it. Because at the end of the day, that’s all you got. It’s looking back on the joy you had, and the joy you found, and the joy you gave other people 

-soon you will call us ascendent

-kiss my ass you sanctimonious bastard

-huh. I feel sad

-its not perfect but its the best i can do

-our capacity for love increases with each person we cross paths with throughout our lives and with each moment we spend with those people but too often we neglect that part of ourselves in favour of others and by the time we realize just how importnat it is we find ourselves with fewer folks around to practice with but the seven of you have something that nobody else ever had time all the time in the world time enough to grow indescribely close time enough to learn how to care for each other how to allow yourselves to be caref for and in the case of barry and lup time enough to fall deeply and truely in love

-there was romance in every measure and longing in every note

-have we not earned a little wrath?

-i made it

-you are my heart you know that right?

-sometimes there arent right decisions sometimes theres just decisions

-when someone leaves your life those exits are not made equal. Some are beautiful and poetic and satisfying others are abrupt and unfair but most are just unremarkable, unintentional clumsy

-back soon

-who?

-taako kill me

-you fucking took everything from me

-understand this, i have nothing and i don’t give a shit. The world is ending and i don’t care

-phantasmal and resplendent

-youre dating the grim reaper?!

-ill take one taco with extra destiny

-i tell the trees when to shed their leaves and i make every piece of fruit taste the way that it tastes and i taught every blade of grass in the ground where to grow did you really think i had forgotten about you?

-im not your pan but you will always be my merle

-i run over and im already kissing him this is ridiculous

-I want to warm up my face i dont want it to be cold and weird

-whats up ghostrider

-i met god no big deal

-lets save the world and 420 blaze it

-hear that babe? We’re legends

-youre going to have to fight and… youre gonna win!

-you hear it now too dont you? The song is now yours, just as the story has always been yours and with this final piece your understanding of these impossible events is complete. Like i said before, youre ready now, darkness surrounds you but be not afraid, after all youre going to win, we know that much but that is the limit of my knowledge. Youre all caught up now, whatever happens next, well, we’ll just have to find out together

-you boys know the best of the fantasy costo? Free samples

-we won

-youre going to be amazing

-it takes time as all difficult and important things do, for the world to recover from what was done to it that day. But it does recover, and not just that, it thrives. 

-im about to smooch your fucking brains out babe 

-one small criticism, i think you may have forgotten to make it taste good

-‘youre kinda full of dog shit sometimes’ thats what it was i forgot i did include dog shit

-i should mention my boyfriend is death

-if you will all excuse me i have… to shit

-i tried to make you proud

-we see you one last time as magnus rushes in

-even happier days were to come, because that was the world that you made, that was the ending you earned

[midnightsdarkangel]

Trust (part 1)

Summary: Reigen never expected to be cursed, to have to live with the adjustments made but here he is, and Serizawa had to find out sooner or later. He just hoped his boyfriend could overcome the monster he had become.

(this is a mini series off of a body horror au i have with Reigen, i thought i’d write what happens when Reigen finally comes cleans and confesses. Part one is Serizawa and part 2 which i’m currently writing is Mobs reaction. Please tell me if you like it and want more!)

"This is new, you normally don't wrap up warm in winter."

Serizawa was waiting outside Reigens apartment come Sunday morning with the promise of grabbing a bite together. He had knocked on Reigens door only to hear crashing and the multiple utter of curse words from the other door as he stepped back, shoving his hands into his pockets for warmth when he saw the door bang wide open.

Seri found himself with a big smile that caused him to laugh. Reigen stood there pouting slightly with a blush on his face. He was certainly dressing big for sure today, a large scarf wrapped tightly around his neck, not quite fitting into place. A long overcoat Serizawa never saw him wear even once and the shades- my god the shades were fairly big and had black lenses so you couldn't see his eyes. If anyone else had seen Reigen in that moment it would had looked as if his mother was the one who dressed him excessively, like one would do to their child in the winter chill.

"I thought id be adventurous."

"And the glasses-"

"..REALLY adventurous- Now stop the chatter and lets get going, its freezing."

Reigen said promptly, grabbing Seris hands with some warm fingerless gloves he decided to wear as their fingers entwined.

During their quiet walk, the wind blew ever so faintly against Seris hair as he had a habit of glancing of Reigen at the corner of his eye. Something was up with him, this much he could catch on. He certainly didn't miss the look of discomfort the smaller man had tugging his scarf away from his neck, or when his hand rubbed against his eye irritably. Yet he assumed Reigen simply just overdressed and was regretting it, while it was indeed cold, Reigen was that type of person who really didn't acknowledge the cold while in his own world.  It was obviously today he was suffering from his own choice of clothing. Yet Seri gently squeezed his hand against his lovers to try and soothe him, his thumb gently rubbing in circles against Reigens palm which caused a small laugh from Reigen as the chill ran up his spine. Perking up at his reaction he gently held Reigens hand happily but felt a bump on the side of his wrist that caused him to instead tense bad. Reigen removed his hand without moment's hesitation holding it to his chest but when he saw Seri's face his heart dropped as he looked away.

"Sorry, its just a stupid bump from  when i tried to move the desk a few days back and banged my wrist. Its just swollen."

His hand waving in a nonchalant manner as he proceeded to walk on ahead, his hands now tightly burried into his coat pocket as he took a few steps forward but paused turning back.

"You coming?" he asked confused, his arm extended out implying he wanted them to link arms as Serizawa felt his heart race;

"A-Ah yes!"  

After that they didn't really question the supposed 'bump' on Reigens wrist. The two of them decided to go to a cafe not too far from where his office actually was as the door chimed upon being opened. While Seriwaza was able to casually put his coat off and hang it behind his chair, Reigen found himself more reluctant. Taking the coat off and the gloves he hastily shoved in the side pockets, he decided to keep the glasses and scarf on.  

"Isnt that a bit too warm to wear?"

Serizawa inquired curiously as Reigen pulled his seat backwards and plopped down, dragging the chair legs against the ground, shuffling forward. His hand quickly grabbing the menu and opened it to cover his face.

"Mn don't worry, ill be taking it off soon."

He was about to gesture with his hand but flinched and thought better of it- a noticeable flinch Seri was ever so quick to notice. Since it was a sunday morning it had meant the streets were quieter than normal apart from the rushing cars that made as ambient noise for the two. The store itself had only a couple of people, mainly couples or people on their own with books. It was a nice cafe Reigen had discovered one evening when taking a break from his work, the perfect place he thought to bring his partner to.

"Sorry i asked you asked out this early, i wanted to talk to you without a rush of people around here.."

Serizawa smiled gently at his words; "Its perfectly fine...Its been a while since i've seen you anyway."

"About that.."

Reigen muttered, the menu was still a barriror between the two men. His leg twitching from under the table, tapping ever so quietly against the floor.

"I havent been feeling myself lately Seri..."

"Ah Shiego told me you weren't letting him around the office either, are you ill?"

Reigen promptly laughed at that question and shook his head.

"Yes? No- its a bit hard to explain. Which..which is why i thought it only fair i show you today."

His hands clutched the menu before relaxing again.

"Remember that one case we did? A week back with the old lady-"

"Mrs Tahibana, yes of course, she was the one who had that possessed music box."

Reigen nodded.

"Yeah...her."

After that Reigen was uncharacteristically quiet for a few seconds, which to his luck the waitress had begun to walk over to them as he closed the menu and coughed for Seri to quickly cut the conversation short for a second.

"Ah yes, green tea for me."

"Um just lemonade."

When she was out of plain sight, exiting through the kitchen door Seriwaza leant forward in his chair to whisper. "What about her? Did something happen? I thought you handled the box?" His voice ever so slightly raising volume as Reigen put a finger to his lips hastily.

"Shhh, your drawing attention to us."

He hissed under his voice, gently pushing him back into his seat.

"I did-well i thought i did...not completely id say.."

Reigen was beginning to stumble on his words, his voice lowered slightly as a nagging fear began to rise in his throat. "This is why...i brought you today.."

Taking a deep breath he reached out and grabbed Seris hand, gently pressing against it, needing his warmth as reassurance. Seri wasn't hesitant in turning his hand around to gently return the hold of his lovers hand. The two had been dating for a solid month, and despite the awkward moments or miscommunications, the two had built a steady trust already. Something Reigen never saw himself doing if it was with anyone else. He had built a barrier between him and everyone else, it was just something he accepted; as if there was a line in front of him. A big red line that he was frightened to cross, everyone else stood on the other side, their faces blank, void of all emotions as he wished to run across the line to join them- to speak but they always turned their backs and walked off, leaving him alone.

Until Serizawa came along. By that time, he had no interest in crossing that line. Sure Mob was the first one to tug him to the other side, but it was Seris warmth and love that helped him steadily cross that line between his world and theirs.

So...as much as he hated it..he needed to tell him the truth.

"Something happened...after we exorcised that music box..when you left and i went to give it back to the lady..something shot out of the box. I assume we missed something, because the little fragment of that spirit latched right onto me."

"Your possessed!?"

Serizawa stood up in a  panic which caused some curious stares from customers as Reigen hurriedly grabbed him by his jacket sleeves and pulled him down.

"Shh! We'll get kicked out- let me explain!"

For a moment Seri wasnt calming down, his mind began to rush with guilty thoughts. Reigen frowned concerned and quickly cupped his face with both hands.

"Seri, look at me ok, its ok none of this is your fault..i need you to listen because that's not all ok..?"

Seri weakly nodded that Reigen wondered if telling him would be a good idea. Thinking of alternative ideas in his head he glanced the bathroom doors in the corner of the cafe as he stood up and gently led him away from the table as he waved at the lady to put their drinks there for when they get back. Once he ushered him inside the cubical he locked the door behind them.  It was rather cold from the draft leaking from the window just above as there was hardly any space between them as their bodies pressed against each other at the door.

It was surreal in that moment for Reigen, just feeling the racing of the heartbeat between the two of them, how much larger Seri was than he was and the warmth he could feel. But he could also notice every emotional shift in his face, he was confused of course, and overly concern from the quickening of his breathing Reigen noticed as he gently took Seris hand and gently moved him around rotational so that his back was agaisnt the door and Reigen could step back and sit back on the toliet seat. Gee, how romantic he scoffed to himself in his thoughts.

For a moment they didnt speak, just so that Serizawa could regain composure.

"Ok you calm? Because your going to have to be in a second.."

"Just- Just tell me what you mean. What do you mean that ghost got into you, i hadn't even noticed anything."

Serizawas voice was low, yet he could tell the panic in his tone. Reigen laughed weakly feeling his body slouch more on the seat as he gripping his hair. This was it. Now or never, if he didn't show Serizawa this then he never would. But imagining the horror on his partners face was something he didn't want to look forward to- but he had to do it. It was time to put their trust on the line...

His hands hesitantly went to the scarf and began to unwrap the layers one by one. Seris eyes narrowed in confusion until his face went dead pale.

"T-Theres..."

"An eye on my neck? Yeah, there's one on my wrist too...you see..That spirit never took control of me..but somehow it was able to do other things...like...this."

He closed his eyes wearily as he felt his heart race before slowly looking up to Serizawa as he removed the shades only to hear the sudden gasp from the taller man.

Half of his face was DEFINITLY not normal, a huge stitched line ran across his face, where his right eye would be instead was a huge gaping hole with sharp teeth that opened and closed in response to the new development of light.

"I..I sent you and Mob away because I didn't want you to see me like this..."

He laughed wearily letting the shades drop from his hand and clatter onto the floor. The same with the scarf as it laid freely on his knee dropping down the side. He looked away sadly, his voice barely above a whisper;

"I didnt want you to see me as a monster"

It wasn't long until he felt the tears prick his eyes that he began to laugh sadly trying to wipe them off as if they burnt his skin; "Look at me...Some world's greatest espier I am! I look like some freak case.." His hands clenched tightly, digging his nails into the skin leaving a mark as his body was shaking with anger and just disgust. Disgust in himself, that Seriwaza had to look at the monstrosity that he had became. He wouldn't be surprised if he turned around and ran, never to contact Reigen again. Just self deprecating thoughts tumbling in one by one into his mind as his knees shook, the tears falling into the fabric of his trousers as he began to laugh louder.

"I wouldnt be surprised if you hated me-"

"Stop that."

Serizawas voice was loud and commanding. Reigen was baffled as he looked up only to feel two large hands quickly grasp his face with speed yet it was so tender. His eyes widened to see the tears that feel from Serizawas face, his body was shaking but it wasn't in fear, no...it was of hurt.

"Why would you ever think that...your not a monster Reigen, not by a long shot-"

Ah..he made him worry...

"Serizawa look at me...I have a hole in my face, i think i am quite frankly a monster-"

"What you look like doesn't make you a monster!"

He argued back, his voice booming with such emotional intensity as he gently took Reigens hand and pressed it to his chest.

"When you and I met...I was terrified of my powers, I had harmed people and i was scared that you'd look at me the same way others had. Like some freak...but..you didnt. You were the first person to accept me for who i was. Just because you look like that doesnt mean YOU yourself have changed! Your still the same man i know...and love.."

Serizawa spoke softly as he gently stood Reigen up to see him fully.

"Im not going to run.."

...

...

Reigen let go of the breath he was holding, his laugh was now something vunrable and almost a sense of relief. The tears fell quietly as he found himself leaning on his lovers chest, clinging onto the fabric of his shirt. He felt arms wrap around him, letting him melt into the embrace, he felt exhausted exposing that to Serizawa. The man was just full of surprises but...but that's what he loved about him.

"I love you.."

Seri smiled softly at that and gently caressed his face, wiping any remaining tears with his thumb. "Our drinks are getting cold.." Reigen quietly noted; It was something they could discuss more once they were outside. Seri carefully bent down to pick up Rigens glasses and scarf, gently putting them on with care instead of the half assed performance Reigen had done in the morning. Waiting until Reigen was happy to leave and was covered up they grabbed each others hands and unlocked the door. Ready to face the world together.

"So..Does the extra mouth drink also?"

"Oh my god did you seriously ask me that." Reigen snorted amused.

God he loved him.