#i need to buy new work shoes cause my old ones are getting yucky

[geriatricmagolor]

I wanna go back to the mall today

[sincerelyreidburke]

Okay, here’s a little ficlet for you guys!! We’ve brought Quinn’s summer in Arizona into the discussion; now let’s see it in action. This is also now posted as the newest chapter in my ao3 cricket ficlet collection.

In which: Quinn takes Nando’s little sister on a costuming supply run. And wholesome content ensues.

(Sorry, this got so long. Actually, I regret nothing, but I’m still sorry because this is a weird medium to post something that’s long.)

//

junior-senior summer | june

 Quinn has a special relationship with Joann Fabrics.

For him, being let loose in one is sort of like being a chicken nugget fiend of a young child and finding out your parent is going to stop and get you a Happy Meal on the way home from school. It evokes borderline euphoria in his subconscious, a youthful eagerness that he’s quite sure he’ll never shake. The thing is that those places are just… boundless potential, everything crafty that he loves all under one roof. He could quite literally lose an entire day just walking around the store, without buying anything at all.

So… you can imagine his excitement when, on the third day of production on The Wizard of Oz , the director of the Tempe Community Children’s Theatre hands him an envelope of cash. “Here’s half of your costume budget,” she tells him. “Let me know when you want the other half. There’s a Joann’s ten minutes away from here, if that’s helpful for you to know.”

“Oh, my goodness!” Quinn looks into the envelope— there’s plenty here to accomplish what he wants with it; he’s used to costuming on the Grand Rapids Summer Players budget, which, if you must know, stretched him very thin most seasons. “Thank you so much, Erica. That is immensely helpful for me to know. Is it okay if I go tomorrow?”

Erica is tall, tan, middle-aged, and constantly wearing a shawl as part of her outfit. A lot of people on the tech team are scared of her, but Quinn isn’t in the slightest. “You can go whenever your heart desires,” she replies, with a smile. “Keep me updated with what you’re putting together.”

“Thank you.” Quinn nods his head a little, clasping the envelope behind his back with both hands. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

She waves. “See you, Quinn.”

That’s the key with directors. You have to kiss up a little, and then you’re on their good side, and life is easy.

Rosa and Gabriella are both waiting for him by the bench outside the auditorium. The program operates out of Tempe’s high school, whose theatre is better than the one back in Michigan but nothing near Kiersey's Beckett Center.

“Ready?” he asks the two girls. They jump off the bench in near unison.

“Ready!” Gabriella affirms, and Rosa just nods.

They’re identical twins, but it’s not hard to tell them apart. Gabriella’s hair is always braided, and Rosa wears glasses. Not to mention their personalities are entirely different. They each look so much like Sebastián, and their mama, too. Quinn has been in Arizona for three weeks, almost four, but the resemblance still strikes him every time he looks at them.

Quinn picks up the canvas bag that holds the girls’ stuff; right now, it’s not much, except Gabriella’s ballet shoes and some snacks, but closer to the actual production, they’ll be bringing more back and forth.

Gabriella skips over the linoleum floor, landing only on the blue parts in its multicolored pattern, like the rest of it is lava. “Good news, Rosa,” he says, as they start for the door. Rosa looks up at him, sticking close by his leg. He tells her, “We get to go to Joann’s tomorrow,” and her face lights up.

“Who’s Joann?” Gabriella asks.

“It’s a store , dummy,” Rosa replies. “You know, with arts and crafts?”

She leaps to a new blue square. “Like pom-poms?”

Rosa nods. “And sequins.”

“Why do you need to go there?”

“To buy supplies to make the costumes,” Quinn tells her. She wobbles on one foot as she hunts for another blue patch. “So you’ll look pretty onstage!”

“Ooh!” This seems to pique Gabriella’s interest. “Can you buy me a crown?”

“You’re a Munchkin ,” Rosa says. “Munchkins don’t wear crowns.”

“Well, maybe I’m a Munchkin princess!”

“Those don’t exist.”

“Yes, they do.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Yuh-huh.”

“Nuh- uh .”

“Quinn?” Gabriella stops at the double glass doors to look back at him. “Do Munchkin princesses exist?”

They each survey him intensely, and Quinn, by principle, is scared of absolutely no one, but being selected as the judge for their debate is intimidating. “I… am not sure,” he settles for, “but maybe we can do some research in the real Wizard of Oz book and find out.”

“Yay!” Gabriella cries, and Rosa doesn’t look disappointed— Quinn knows she’s a book fan, so this seems to satisfy her, too.

It’s the little things.

The next morning, although they haven’t yet figured out if Munchkin princesses exists, Quinn is dialed in and on a mission. He has a rather lengthy shopping list for the Joann run, and he packs some of his own money, too, into the side of his bag, just in case something in there strikes his fancy. Which… it definitely will. He’s incapable of going in, even for a costume-related trip, without emerging with something for himself.

“For the road, mi amor ,” says Sebastián, pressing a travel mug with a teabag in it into his hands. “I’ll finish the cleanup.”

Quinn glances beyond him, to the small stack of dishes next to the sink, and winces a little. “Are you sure?” he asks. “I can stay another few minutes.”

“No, no— go; I don’t want you to be late.” They’ve handled breakfast, as they do most mornings, for themselves and the girls; Mrs. Hernandez is working a weirdly timed shift at the hospital. Sebastián has work today, too, at his tio’s restaurant, but it’s not until later; he’s still in his sweats. “I don’t mind,” he adds.

Quinn smiles up at him. He still has some curly bedhead, and the facial hair he shaved after his playoffs in the spring is coming in again. Mornings with him in his childhood home are domestic in a way Quinn has never known. “Thank you,” he says, wrapping both hands around the tea. “And breakfast was delicious.”

Sebastián beams. “Of course, baby.” He takes him by the shoulders for a quick kiss, and it’s no more than three seconds long, but right then, from out of nowhere, the ten-year-old relationship police descend upon them.

“Sebastián, yuck !” Gabriella is walking across the kitchen, fresh from the go ahead and put on your shoes, then we’ll go to rehearsal mission that Quinn sent her on two minutes ago. “No kissing in the kitchen.”

Sebastián rolls his eyes at his sister, still grinning lopsidedly. “Who said that’s a rule?”

“I did.” Gabriella huffs, then grabs Quinn’s shirt on the way by. “C’mon, Quinn, we’re going.”

Quinn laughs, as she pulls him toward the front door, and Sebastián raises his eyebrows. “Well, you sure told me, huh,” he says. Rosa, fresh from upstairs, crosses the kitchen without fanfare, and joins them at the door.

“He doesn’t have time for you; you’re gross,” Gabriella says to Sebastián, like so there , and Quinn makes eye contact with him as he’s being wrangled to the door. Sebastián raises his eyebrows and mouths, She really showed me .

Quinn grabs the keys off the hook by the door, still laughing, and waves to him. “I’ll see you later, honey.”

“Bye!” he calls, leaning against the counter. “Have fun at Joann’s!”

Quinn has been thinking about this since yesterday, and yet the reminder makes him smile like he’s remembering it for the first time. “Oh, I will!”

Sebastián winks at him, which is just cause to smile further.

“My brother is gross,” Gabriella tells him, as they walk down the front path towards the car. “He’ll give you cooties.”

If that’s the case, it’s far too late. “I suppose so,” he replies. “But it’s a good thing he’s sweet, too.”

Gabriella makes a gagging noise. “Love is yucky ,” she says, and Quinn laughs.

Getting out of the house in the morning has been a feat since he got here. The twins are chaotic— well, Gabriella is chaotic; Rosa just adds another person into the mix— and it was a little easier when they were sending them off to school, but now that Quinn is bringing them to the theatre, he’s directly involved in the child-wrangling. Mrs. Hernandez is sometimes working and sometimes not in the mornings, but he and Sebastián have taken it upon themselves to do the morning routine so they can give her a break.

It… feels like home. Quinn could get very, very used to this.

At the high school, he drops Gabriella off with the other kids for stage rehearsal, and then rejoins Rosa in the lobby, where she’s waiting dutifully. “Are you ready?” he asks her, and she nods, with a big smile he’s not sure he’s ever seen from her.

“Let’s go to Joann’s,” she declares, and he smiles.

“Indeed,” he replies, and they start back for the car together. “Let’s go.”

He wonders, as they set off in the car, if Rosa will be shy. Although the past few days with starting out Oz have placed them in one-on-one contact, because Rosa is his wardrobe assistant for the summer, those are the first times he’s been alone with her, without her much more talkative sister or Sebastián or Mrs. Hernandez in the mix somewhere. He knows that Rosa is shy; he’s witnessed as much, since he arrived here. He’d love to get to know her.

But he doesn’t want to push her, either, and especially doesn’t want to do the grown-up thing (goodness, he’s a grown-up) where you accidentally make a kid uncomfortable because you ask too many questions. So as he listens to his phone navigate him in the direction of the store, he keeps mostly quiet, with the radio on low volume.

Then, about three minutes into their drive, her small voice breaks the silence. “My mama says you’re staying with us this summer because my brother loves you.” As he looks over to her, she pauses. Her eyes are on him, behind her purple-rimmed glasses. “Is that true?”

“Well… yes, that’s true,” he replies, because it’s the most watered-down version of the truth. You can’t really tell a ten-year-old that your grandparents kicked you out directly because you love said ten-year-old’s brother. And boys. As a concept. “I do love your brother very much,” he adds. “And I’m very grateful to be here with you this summer.”

Both these things are true. If it weren’t for Sebastián, he has no idea where he’d be staying right now. He has nowhere to go.

It was a big and awful truth when he first faced it. But that was months ago, and he’s all right now. There are people who love him, who support him— even if they’re not blood family.

Rosa nods, like she’s a lawyer, and he’s on the witness stand. In three hundred feet, continue onto East Broadway Road , says the GPS. She folds her arms, but not in a standoffish way, and asks, “Why didn’t your mama and papa want you to come home and see them?”

Oh. This one is harder to dodge. Quinn takes a second, smoothing the front of his hair, before he replies, “Well… I don’t see much of my parents, actually.”

“Are they dead?”

It’s so quick, it almost gives him whiplash. He forgets that Rosa and Gabriella lost a parent; they’re well familiar with death. “No,” he says, gently. “They just aren’t around.”

“Oh.” Rosa hangs her head. “Sorry.”

“Oh, goodness,” he says. “Don’t be sorry. You didn’t hurt my feelings or anything, I promise.”

“Okay.” At least she takes this at face value, and Quinn can relax again. In 2.3 miles, turn left onto South Dobson Road. He knows she’s still looking at him, and for some reason, he can tell she’s going to ask him another question before it comes. “Is it true you can’t hear without your headphones?”

Quinn smiles a little. He taps the hearing aid on her side and nods. “They aren’t headphones,” he says, “but yes, that’s true.”

She cranes her neck to look over the console. “Are they magic?”

He laughs. “In a way, I suppose. They let me do some things, but I’m just as much myself without them.”

“What kind of things?”

“Like listening to music.” He pauses. “And speaking English. It’s like your glasses help you see; these help me hear.”

She touches her purple frames again. “But when you did your play last summer,” she says, “some of the actors were deaf like you, right?”

“Right!” He smiles fondly. Tour seems like a lifetime ago, but he’s still in touch with some of the friends he made.

“So you used sign language,” Rosa says. “Instead of singing.”

“Combined with singing,” he replies. “It was really lovely.”

She frowns a little. “How come we couldn’t go see it?”

Oop . Gabriella has asked him this same question before. Sebastián wasn’t even sure about letting Mrs. Hernandez see the show, let alone his then-nine-year-old sisters. “Um… because it’s— well, it’s for grown-ups.”

Rosa huffs, but she doesn’t sound mad at him . Just frustrated. “That’s what Mama said.”

He’s glad she doesn’t stretch that topic any further, because he would have no idea how to explain Spring Awakening to a ten-year-old. Instead, she shifts gears. “Next time you do one, can it be for kids?”

He smiles at her. “I’ll be sure of it.”

For now, this ends Rosa’s interrogation, but she doesn’t get shy again. It’s pleasant, actually, to hear her say more than a few words at a time— from then to when they pull in at Joann, she talks about Oz , and doesn’t go quiet until they walk up to the automatic doors. Quinn grabs a carriage, because they’re definitely going to need one, and pulls the list out of his pocket.

The doors slide open, and he takes a long breath in.

It’s time.

“ Wow ,” Rosa says, from next to him, as she takes in the sight of the store in all its fabric and craft glory. “We could make, like, a million costumes in here!”

“It’s the greatest place.” Quinn might be crying a little. He leans down to her, list in-hand. “Are you ready to be my little helper?”

She actually jumps up-and-down at this. “Yeah!” she says, and it’s the most energy he’s ever seen out of her. “What should I do first?”

He brandishes the list. “Follow me.”

*

It’s an absolutely religious experience.

It takes two hours, and not a second if it is wasted time. Rosa is the greatest help, always asking what’s next for her to do, and he moves through the aisles on a mission. He is in his glory, and he regrets absolutely nothing.

They stock up on the basics— tulle, yarn, and cotton, plus sequins and gingham, a few different rolls of ribbon, buttons and thread. They fill the entire cart. Each moment spent inside the store is like free serotonin to last Quinn for months.

Checking out at half of the cash in the envelope, he marks it down as an extremely successful trip. “Great job!” he says to Rosa, as they walk back into the parking lot. It’s baking-hot outside, but the heat is dry, and it’s tolerable for now. “We got everything on our list.”

Rosa is smiling, ear to ear, and has been for most of the past two hours. “Wow,” she says. “I love that place.”

“We’ll definitely be back,” he says, with a glance over his shoulder at the storefront. “But this should get us started for now.”

“ Yes ,” Rosa says, and it sounds like it’s maybe just for herself, a quiet little celebration.

He puts the bags in the back of the truck, returns the carriage, and punches the directions back to the high school into his phone. As they’re pulling out of the parking lot (he looks both ways three times, because he, as a gay, really shouldn’t be driving at all), Rosa, still in good spirits, says, “That was fun.”

“That was very fun,” he says, then holds up his palm. “Give me a high-five?” She nods and smacks it eagerly. He smiles. “That was a good one.”

“That’s because teamwork,” Rosa says, very wisely, and he nods his agreement.

“I’m really glad to have you as my helper,” he tells her. “We’re going to have fun with these costumes. And then they’ll look very pretty on stage. Just you wait.”

Rosa nods. “I like costumes,” she says. “It’s like being a fashion designer.”

“Exactly!”

He is really glad she finally opened up a little. He considers this trip a success on a number of fronts.

“Quinn?”

He looks to her. She’s giving him the lawyer stare once again. “Yes?”

She takes a short breath, then asks, “Are you and Sebastián getting married?”

He isn’t adequately prepared for how sweet the question makes him, and he feels his face get warm, like he’s blushing at the mere thought. Which, on one hand, could be embarrassing, and he’d most certainly be getting chirped or fined if Ben or Remy were around— but it’s just him and Rosa, his maybe future sister-in-law, in the car, and she’s asking honestly, and gosh, if the idea of that doesn’t make him soft all over.

So he answers honestly. “Yes,” he says, because they’ve talked about it plenty. They may not know exactly what comes after graduation, which, mind you, is still a whole year away— but they know, without a doubt, that they’re doing it together. “Not just yet, but someday.”

Rosa smiles. She nods, and folds her arms again. She’s not looking at him when she replies, but the words touch Quinn all the same. “Good.” She pauses. “‘Cause I like you.”

Now he’s definitely red in the face. This little girl is the sweetest.

Gosh, Quinn wants to be a dad someday.

As he drives along— the roads in Arizona are all straight, and they line up like a grid, like a much more stretched-out New York filled with cacti and palm trees instead of skyscrapers. He keeps thinking, being here these past few weeks, that he could see himself living here.

At the edge of his vision a ways up the road, he spots the golden arches, a giant towering advertisement. And he gets a very good idea.

“Rosa,” he says, evenly. “Do you like chicken nuggets?”

“Um, yeah ?” She doesn’t seem to have spotted it yet, but she looks over at him like he’s asked the most obvious question in the world. “What kind of a person doesn’t like chicken nuggets?”

Quinn laughs. “Fair point,” he replies, then starts to signal. “Do you want a Happy Meal?”

[extreme-close-up-woooaah]

breakfast club headcanons V

andrew - first things first i think that we can all agree that this man is in fact a jean cuffer, he’s a bi man - he had braces from 7th grade to junior year and gets very embarrassed of  precious old photos of younger him - okay so, i need to elaborate on this boys family life, it’s insane - this boy is brothers with the kid in the police office in ferris buellers day off (his name is garth volbeck) and they have a sister named judy because garth mentions her - yes i did this because they are brothers irl and have different last names irl (but for different reasons)  - and their parents divorced a year before the breakfast club so their mother (a very sweet lady who loves her kids no matter what and respects them, she can also bake and she taught andrew to respect woman) she already moved out into another house in another neighborhood - so andrew lives with his dad sadly, and has a hard time escaping it all, garth is in between everything and judy lives with their mother by choice because of obvious reasons - okay hopefully ya’ll understand that :) - next things next this man (even out of my au) grows up to be a librarian - the story to how that happened is kind of upsetting, i don’t want anyone to feel in any way triggered or upset by this so... T W: don’t read if sensitive to stuff like verbal abuse - after highschool he got into a college for wrestling and did his thing and then after that he got onto the wrestling team his dad coaches - andrew had joined but it had drained him, his mental health was deteriorating to say the least - eventually he started to feel pain in his knee but his father kept pushing him and pushing him until he couldn’t take it anymore - he knee gave out  - i’m not educated enough to say why but all i know is that he couldn’t wrestle anymore and was useless in his fathers eyes - his father said very mean things to him and left him at a telephone booth with very little money, enough to get a burger at a mcdonalds, he called garth - asked him to take him to the hospital, he was shaky on the phone but his brother understood and came to pick him up - the ride was completely silent and understandably so, but andrew ended up crying in the passenger seat, he was kind of cold too  T W over: enjoy the rest :) - uh soooo ONCE AGAIN i am NOT educated enough to say what happened to his knee but he ended up having some chronic knee thing and it was only going to get worse and he needed a knee brace for it  - he ends up staying at garth and his boyfriends house (sorry to anyone who thinks brian should just be on his own, me and my bf ship brian and garth like a couple of dorks U-U so please do ignore it if you don’t like it or think of them as roommates :>)  - he ended up getting a job at the local library and he was pretty good at it, this library in particular was very safe and a tame - perfect, so he ended up getting the money from it and a small loan from his brother and getting his own apartment eventually  - he built his life back up and he’d end up in a comfortable house with a cat and perhaps a husband or wife A H E M bENDer - okay now on to the good stuff, lead your mind back to kindergarten - when he was younger he liked the colors pink and purple and he likes blue omg bi pride  but he ended up getting scolded for it from his dad so he vowed his whole life to hate those three things because he thought this was the normal way to live - which would explain why he’d say he hates cats but then meet one or even own one and get crazy attached to it and even name it - him and his brother wrestled around a lot but when it came to their sister they’d never hurt her, she (age: 3) was BRUTAL to them, they all look back and laugh on it later - he’s a middle child but oddly he crushes the idea of middle child syndrome because he gets too much unwanted attention from his dad, garth is two years older, his sister is three years under - in middle school he was kinda awkward and even in highschool wasn’t the most popular kid, he was good at wrestling and considered to be the best of them but girls liked the louder ones better, he’s kind of quiet - he’s got “terrible taste” in clothes according to the entirety of the breakfast club, he dresses like an old man when he’s older, but like an ancient man like me  like full on plaid pants blue shirt tan cardigan kinda thingy - when he’s younger he stays sporty on days where he has a meet but some days my man wears a yucky polo and plaid pants and a big belt once again some ugly old man stuff that i’d wear - he’s a door mat, push over, he cannot say no and that’s one of his main issues NOT PROJECTION but like me 😎 - he’s extremely polite and tries his best at being nice and respectful toward everyone but when it comes to standing up for himself in particular against people who aren’t specifically bender, he’s lost and kinda just ignores it and lets it happen - bender finally gets him to snap cause andrew wouldn’t let anyone hurt his friends or even just a person in general - he’s a little on edge for the rest of his time in detention - ya’ll okay sorry bout this, but the breakfast club is just a group of stuffed animal hoarders, he’s got a regular old teddy bear at his MOMS house so it’s safe :) - lil spoon  - cozy man wears sweaters - OH he’s super short, not a headcanon, HECK its not projection, i just enjoy the fact that he’s short and blonde like meee :} lets appreciate the tiny boy shall we? - his letterman is a size too big because he was told he’d grow into it, he is cozy - he’s at his happiest when he’s a. with his friends b. on a chair with a cat or c. outside in autumn time  - bender makes andrew a small angry bi whenever he’s around, andrew has a lot of pent up anger and he’s a little uptight and bender shakes him loose and gets him annoyed and then continues to baby voice him about how much he loves him in a funny sorta way, mostly when they were younger - andy and allison are super close and tell each other almost everything, they have coffee together and talk about how everything is every now and then, more often when they’re older - benders strong so he’ll give everyone piggy backs, usually he surprise attacks andy tho and picks him up, or if they walk home all together after school, whoevers tired, if its andrew he’ll be gentle in that circumstance - brian and andrew like books, one grows up to be an author and the other a librarian, and once andy discovers his book in his library he smiles and checks it out to read - claire and andy are closer when they’re older, they talk about their shared experiences as a kid and how they ended up where they are and they talk about how lucky they are compared to others - when they were younger claire used to try and show the boys style, bender is already a fashionista but claire picks out some cool ties for him with wacky designs on them, he wears those to work when he’s older - brian enjoys it but only to buy a pair of new shoes, perhaps some loafers and a cool button up - claire has to pick out clothes for andy because andy doesn’t know what he likes quite yet, claire ends up teaching him how to cuff his jeans and :)))))) okay i’ll stop - around christmas, andrew gets the worst gifts, he tries so so hard but he can never seem to get it right, bender gets a kick out of it :}  - in the au they have a cat named mr.ravioli because bender made raviolis and the cat began to feast on them without them knowing so they decided that’d be his name i’ll stop here but it’s not the last part of this series of headcanons, i will write more, some future ones being for all of them together, and then a fbdo bttf pretty in pink cross over where all the cool kidz hang together!! sorry this was so long ;<; i didn’t mean to absolutely pour out my heart but i love andrew and he deserves some headcanons :} i hope their not too bad ;w;

[notdeadjack]

How do i take care od my shoes so they last?

CARING FOR YOUR SHOES 101

source: me. i'm a reparative cobbler. i literally do this for a living.ok so you have a pair of shoes of decent quality that fits (or crappy quality shoes that you wanna eek out every last bit of mileage out of in pure spite) and now you have to care for them like a doting parent, but how the fuck are you supposed to do that?? it's not as much of a production as most online how-to's makes it seem:

regular leather: if you're a dirty bitch or one of them people who likes running around in mud for no real reason, remove the excess dirt with a cloth or a soft brush. only use a little water as a last resort. if there's only regular dust and wear, just give them a quick wipe down with a cloth or something idk.apply a thin layer of cream shoe polish (Saphir creme surfine/deluxe is an excellent shoe polish and i highly recommend it. use incolore which has no colour pigments if you can't find the right shade, the shoes have multiple colours or a patina that you wanna keep or if they're brand spanking new and haven't lost any colour). allow it to dry in for like ten minutes before you polish with a cotton cloth (or an old t-shirt or a sock. it's not that important really).

suede/nubuck: remove dust and dirt gently with a suede brush (or one of them nail brushes), spray with waterproofing spray. done. use spray with colour pigments if they look sad and faded. 

do these simple steps as often as you can stand, but try to do it at the very least once a month, preferably every other week. you can never do it too often tbh.

more shoe care tips, materials and products underneath the cut!

other materials:  

spray textile with waterproofing spray. won't actually proof anything but will makes them easier to keep clean. 

syntethic materials won’t accept any help from no shoe care products and will crack or break whenever it damn well feel like it. you can put shoe polish on the fake leather tho, just to make them look nice.

patent leather and such won't absorb any products cause the leather is covered with a thin layer of plastic, but there's special products for keeping them clean and shiny. a moist cloth tends to leave spots bc mineral residues and stuff in the water. do NOT use sour milk or other dairy products on your patent leather

white rubber soles can be maintained by simply wiping them off with a moist cloth when you get home. if really dirty, wash or take to a cobbler to wash.

rubber boots can do with some grease or oil tbh. will help prevent them from drying out. 

oiled leather/nubuck tho. there's special products for these. check the labels but grease or oil spray usually does the trick.

but what about all the other stuff? like, the grease/fat/oil, the waterproofing, the washing and The Removal of The Laces™ that all the how-to's talk about?honestly, those things are often excessive and here's why:

washing: unless your shoes are actually dirty (partied too hard and spilled a drink or olive oil on them, large amounts of mud that can't be wiped off, water or salt stains etc), you don't have to wash them. water isn't good for the leather, dries it out so... only do it if you absolutely have to? preferably, take them to a professional and have them do it.

leather grease/fat/oil: honestly, this stuff IS good for the leather and you should use it. but there is such a thing as too much and y'all have no idea how many times i've had to wash a pair of shoes because the owner used too much too often and now there's clogging and fat and dust piled up at the seams like an abandoned butter factory and the shoes just look miserable. apply a thin layer and allow to dry before you apply shoe polish a few times a year. before and after putting your shoes into storage for the season, if they look and feel dry or if you wear them year round, put some on every other or third month. always BEFORE the polish.

waterproofing aka the thing every single shoe store employee tells you to do and it makes me wanna scream every time i hear it: only necessary for suede and nubuck shoes (and usable on textile, as mentioned above). seriously.  

a)waterproofing your shoes won't actually make them waterproof, will only help suede to repel the stray water droplet so that it doesn't soak in. won’t help when it’s pouring down.b) proper shoe polish contains wax (is what makes shine when polished) that will protect the leather from water in the same way. adding the spray on top of that is pointless.c) can actually ruin your polish work, make it all matte and occasionally even leave stains, discolour or trap dust.d) is sold as a “fix all” for lazy people to use on all of their shoes regardless of material. fixes nothing. don’t bother unless suede.

removing the laces before polishing: ??? you don't have to? you can work around them. i mean, if you're doing a full care with grease and stuff, it might be easier to remove them but that's up to you. you might get some polish on them but unless you have light or brightly coloured laces it doesn’t hurt them. do exchange them if they break tho. (if they break easily, there might be a sharp edge that rubs at them or, and this is the most likely, you don't unlace properly before forcing your feet into your shoes. the laces take a lot of stress, be nice to them!)

other shoe care products:

wax: such as Kiwi Parade Gloss, Saphir Mirror Gloss etc. a hard-ish bit of wax product that comes in a flat tin. is used to acquire high shine on leather shoes (think spit shine). doesn't actually do that much for the shoe except shine and repel some water. a must for dress shoes but should preferably only be used on the toe cap since it can build up in seams and, if applied the bits that moves a lot, can "crack". it's not damaging to the leather but looks scruffy af. apply with one of them tiny brushes you see in shoe care stores or with a sponge/cloth. polish with a cloth, lamb wool polish glove or a horse hair brush.

fisherman grease: are you a fisherman? no? then don't use it.

quick shine or self shine: do not. contains silicone and shit that won't be absorbed by the leather and won't dry. looks amazing when fresh but will attract dust and turn matte within minutes. shit product designed to appeal to your laziness and take your money while giving you a false sense of accomplishment. seriously, if you're good with the shoe polish, all you need is a a quick rub with a cloth (or the sleeve of your shirt, back of your pant leg) to revive the shine. yes i am a little bitter about the existence of quick shine products,

mink oil: mostly used by old people and hipsters who buy into the whole "the old way is the best way". i highly advice you not to. mink oil is too good at keeping the leather soft. can easily make your shoe leather yucky soft and floppy, the shoe loses shape and turn into a sad, sagging lump. can also discolour the leather (usually into an unsightly green). only use a little if the shoe is drier than the sahara desert.

leather balm/renovateur: technically not the same but has the same usage area. generally too light for shoes but is excellent for other leather goods like jackets, bags and gloves. used the same as shoe polish: apply thin layer, let dry, polish with cloth. redo as often as you can be arsed but at least once or twice a year i mean come on, give your favourite leather bag or jacket some love!

shoe trees: please? do use. preferably made out of cedar. can be expensive but will last you a life time. they will absorb the moisture from your shoes after wear and help them retain their shape (see those creases right at the bend behind your toes? yeah, those will always show up but shoe trees will help minimize them). you can get buy with just one pair, just stick them into which ever pair you wore last. it's highly recommended that you let your shoes dry completely and rest between each use. having two pairs of shoes that you alternate between is good enough.

if you're gonna store your shoes and can't afford buying shoe trees to all your pairs, you can just stuff them with paper or bits of a foam mattress or something, just to help them keep their shape. the ones that has a metal spring in the middle and a ball at the end should be used with caution and only for a day or so at the time, since the spring loaded ball (heh) puts constant pressure on the back piece of the shoe and can actually push it out which is bad and also ugly.oh! and if your knee high boots have zippers, do make sure that zipper is straight when not worn. use a boot tree, a rolled up news paper or a stick a plastic bottle in them. just so that they don’t fold over and put stress on the zipper.

shoe deodorizer: if your shoes are leather with a leather lining and leather inner sole (AND YOU WEAR SOCKS! seriously, please always wear socks or hose or something inside your shoes at all times. or your foot sweat, dead skin and dirt will build up inside your shoes and it is Gross™), they honestly won't smell much at all. deo is unnecessary (unless you have some kind of affliction which makes your foot sweat super powered, which some people actually have and i feel for them). synthetic and fabric shoes are satan when it comes to foot odour and all you can do really is make sure to wear clean socks and change the inner sole as often as possible.

the washing machine: PLEASE. DO NOT PUT YOUR SHOES IN THE WASHING MACHINE! no, not even your converse hi-tops. seriously. all shoes are glued more or less excessively, and the heat and water will make the glue unstick and your shoes will fall apart quicker. take them to a cobbler for a wash if they're really dirty.

and finally: inspect your shoes. if you spot a seam coming out, or the sole unsticking on the inner left or the heel piece is worn down: take them to a reparative cobbler asap. do NOT try to fix it yourself (you can actually make them ten times harder or even impossible to fix). most things that breaks on leather products can actually be fixed, but the longer you let it go without addressing the damage, the worse it will get and the more expensive it will be to fix. expect to spend about half the purchase price on maintaining your shoes at a cobbler. more if they're your favourites and fit like a dream. 

do try to find a good cobbler, some are absolute hacks that can ruin your shoes. if you live in a big city, go to the finer parts of town and accost a rich person and ask what cobbler shop they go to. they usually have a favourite cobbler that they remain loyal to/cling to desperately. instagram and/or facebook can also be a good place to check.

craftsmen in europe has journeyman or master "letters" (basically diplomas) that they can only acquire after they've worked in the profession for a certain amount of time and can prove that they're skilled in various parts of the job. you can ask if they have one and if they do, they're probably not completely unskilled.

rule of thumb is if the cobbler also does dry cleaning, seamstress work, plumbing and a hundred other vaguely connected things, chance is high that they aren't as good. this is largely dependent on country tho so... use your common sense.

also, don't bother with chains (such as mr minit) and those that offer quick jobs. doing a job properly takes time and care. rushing generally leads to lower quality work, as with everything. it’s up to you tho.

aaand i think that's about it!

i'll post a guide on how to buy good quality shoes that fit later, but until then, if you have any further questions, or want specific shoe or leather care advice my ask is always open and i'm happy to help :D