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cwispyhologwam · 4 years ago

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Admit it. Rick Sanchez X F!Reader

Word count: 2,382

Rick was... out of it, I guess you could say he was still himself, but not really he just seemed, off. When Morty tried to ask if anything was wrong, Rick would respond in a "normal" Rick way but, it seemed forced. It was barely noticeable but he could tell, even though after Rick basically told him to fuck off he dropped it. It was just after the whole incident with Unity, which didn't make sense to Morty because it seemed like Rick had gotten what he needed and wanted from her, or it, or they, he didn't really know how to refer to the entity, but that's besides the point.

He had spent the whole night in the garage when Morty woke up for school the next morning he found his grandfather passed out at his work bench with a strange device looming over his head. Morty didn't know why but looking at it sent dread coursing through his body, he had a feeling he knew someone who could help him and his grandpa. She was... Rick's friend? (Y/n) (L/n), well honestly he didn't know what their relationship was at the moment, because a few years ago she used to visit daily but again that was years ago, he thinks they might have gotten in a fight or something. But if anyone could help him, it was her.

So he asked his mom to give him a ride to her house, but it took some convincing because what mother wouldn't question why her 14 year old son is going to a 23 year olds house by himself, like what kinda porn set up type bullshit, but after he explained his concerns for his grandpa she agreed. Once he got there he told his mom he would get a ride home and she complied and left. He rang the doorbell of the large house and waited, once the door opened he felt like all the air had been knocked out of his lungs.

She was absolutely gorgeous, her (S/C) skin looked so beautiful in the sun's light and her (long,short,medium) (straight,curly,wavey, kinky) (H/C) hair was beautiful. She was (Tall/short) and (Skinny,medium,thick) it made Morty wonder if her and Rick were ever more than friends at one point. What really got to him was what she was wearing, it was a matching set, a long sleeve sweater and shorts "Morty? Hello? You alright there kid?" He snapped out of his trance and nodded "Sorry, and sorry again for showing up unannounced but i need your help."

She looked at him for a couple of seconds before sighing "Listen first come in it's weird talking outside like this, and second, if this has anything to do with Sanchez I'm sorry but i can't help you." He frowned, why did she call him Sanchez? And why did her (E/C) eyes look so sad when she said it? He came in and she led him to her living room where they sat on the couch "So what happened?" He asked her, he really thought if he knew why she suddenly stopped talking to Rick he would be able to help "Morty, i guarantee if Rick is going through something right now it hasn't got anything to do with me, we haven't talked in years."

How did she know? "How do you know that's the problem?" he asked, she giggled playfully rolling her eyes at him "Rick and i used to work together, well if you could really even call it that, it was more like working next to each other and having conversations. But we were also intimate with each other and i know the only reason you would be here without him is because there's a problem concerning him."

His eyes widened if Rick worked with her that could only mean that she was a genius too, so if they were partners and lovers in one way or another then how could she not be the problem? But then again they hadn't talked in years. She was right there was no way she could be the cause of his grandpa acting strange. With that he felt pretty much defeated, what now? He didn't know how to contact anyone else or even who to talk to, it took him almost two weeks just to find her and she lived on earth there was no way in fuck he’d be able to get in contact with anyone else without Rick.

"So what do i do now (Y/N)? I just want grandpa Rick to go back to normal, I can tell he’s faking being his old self." He sighed and dropped his head, his shoulders slumped, he resembled a kicked puppy in all honesty, they stood in silence for a while before she sighed, "Have you met Unity? Or has he talked to them recently?" she asked with an almost sour look on her face, Morty nodded "Well there you go, she probably fucked him then left again" Morty had an oo0oh moment and nodded.

"Just like all things he'll get over it, now i think it's about time i take you back home yeah?" He nodded, but now he felt kind of bad she seemed really, bothered by something . "(Y/N) have you ever liked Rick? Or you know when you used to come over a lot were you together?" He asked as they walked out the door and to her car. "Yes, we did date at the time, well what i thought was dating until he bluntly told me it was nowhere near that and i was just quote un quote, "something to do." As they got in the car Mortys mouth dropped open no wonder she just disappeared from their life like that.

"i-im sorry Rick’s a real dick sometimes" she shrugged and focused her eyes on the road, ”Listen Morty your grandpa is a lot of things, a dick especially, and when it comes to emotions, especially his own, he becomes a coward, please Morty i know you've picked up about 300 shitty casualties from him but avoid that like your life depends on it. Okay? Or at least promise to try?” Morty could tell how serious she was without even looking at her.

The rest of the ride was silent, once she pulled into the driveway of Morty’s house she groaned seeing that the garage was open and Rick was standing in front of it. With his arms crossed, the moment his eyes landed on (Y/n) she felt her stomach drop, her hands were shaking, which Morty noticed. "Fuck me" she said under her breath, Morty got out the car but she stayed still almost frozen. "B-Bout damn time yo-ughh- you got here." Morty groaned "How did you even know I left?" Rick rolled his eyes "your mom o-obviously di-ugh-dipshit." Morty shook his head and waved goodbye to (y/n).

She waved back, she jumped when she realized Rick was now at her window motioning for her to get out she rolled her eyes before reluctantly getting out. He looked her up and down before stopping and staring at her lips, his eyes just sat there for a good minute before she cleared her throat. "Did you have something to say or did you just wanna stand here lookin’ stupid?" He scoffed before taking a swig of his flask "Y-You know yo-ughhh you never wer- seemed like one to hold a g-grudge. Thought yo-you wou-ughh would have got- been over it b-by now."

she stared at him with a blank expression before she back handed him sending him stumbling "wha-what the fuck!?" he exclaimed as he looked at her he was gonna say more till he noticed the tears streaming down her expressionless face "How long have we known each other rick?" he looked at her questionably "hey y-your ughh c--" she cut him off her voice a little louder than before "How fucking long rick?" he stood up right and looked into her watery (e/c) eyes as he held his cheek. "5 years" she nodded "and how many times in those 5 years did you introduce me to the many girls you fucked, the girls you ploughed mindlessly just to get off?”

he looked at her questionably again "none." he said simply "how many of them did you introduce to birdperson, or squanchy, or the people you know from other fuckin universes, Matter of fuckin’ fact, how many of those whores did you see walking around with different dimension ricks at the citadle?" he didn't have to think at all before saying "none" she nodded

"Rick not only, not fuckin’ only did you introduce me to squanchy, birdperson, and other Rick’s and their (y/n), when you decided you were ready to go back into Beths life you introduced me to your family, to your only daughter, to your nephew, your niece, and the dickhead that you cant fuckin’ stand for knockin you daughter up, that that in itself should be enough proof that im not just a hole off the street for you to have fun with" he stood silently still looking into her (e/c) eyes.

"And that the crazy fuckin’ thing rRick! not once did we even have sex, we never went further than sleep naked together! So for you to have looked me directly in my fucking face, and tell me that I was simply something to do didn't hurt, what hurt was the fact that you lied! You lied Rick! Straight through yo motha fuckin’ teeth! The fact that you're a genius doesn't mean shit to me when you don't even have the damn brain capacity to admit when you care about someone! You are a fuckin coward! I know you're scared to be hurt again, fine! But dont fucking pussy out and act like the shit that we had meant nothing!"

Rick was at a lost for words he didn't want to get attached to anyone since Diane and he knew that, he watched as (Y/n) wiped the tears from her eyes ``It hurts like a bitch to love someone so much, and to know that they love you back but won't admit it, it just makes you feel like they’re ashamed of you, like you're ashamed of me, Rick i asked for nothing when we first met." she sighed

“I told you that i just wanted to learn, you took that as if i can get the bitch to trust me enough i can eventually fuck her, yet you never even made a move Rick, your exact words were, i dont want you talking to anyone else, and i accepted that as your fucked up way of asking me out. i never once asked to label us because i already knew what we were, i thought i actually meant something to you.” The two sat in silence for a couple minutes she had hoped he would say something, and when he didn't she shook her head and got ready to get back in her car " I have to go, tell Morty to come see me whenever i guess." she turned ready to get in her car till she fell through a lime green portal. She landed in Rick's room, on his bed to be exact Rick soon came in after opening another portal and walked through.

“When normal people want to talk they usually use their words.” she said as she rolled her eyes and stoop up intending to leave, she wasn't the person she was 5 years ago, he couldn't kiss and caress his way out of this one. She was sick of him talking his way out of things his words couldn't be trusted and his actions were misleading so at this point fuck it, fuck him, fuck his hugs, his kisses, his scent, fuck the way he looked at her with longing eyes and made her weak in the knees.

Fuck everything, enough was enough, either he wanted to be with her, or he didnt those were his options, she hadnt even realized tears were freely falling down her (S/C) cheeks, she was shaking, she had tried to pursue a relationship with at least 10 other men and it all failed, she was taping her foot fast with her arms crossed as she kept looking at the ground

She didnt want him to see her like that the man had barely said a fuckin word and here she stood crying her eyes out, damn near hyperventilating “I’m sorry … you’re right, i am a fuckin coward and everything you said is true … fuck this is making me nauseous, all this sappy bullshit, to sum up this shit show of our relationship i love you, i am a cunt for pulling that bullshit, like you didnt mean anything to me because unfortunately you do, i gave into the pathetic chemical reaction that makes me just as human and vulnerable as the rest of our shitty race, hell i might even be a little less Rick because of this shit but if it means you wont disappear again …. It's worth it.”

She slowly approached Rick and buried her face in his chest as she cried, finally the dickhead admitted to well, being a dickhead and a liar, and a coward, and a cunt pussy shit fuck bastard, and his way of apologizing, it was.. Shitty but that's what she expected, he held her tightly kissing the top of her head inhaling her sent messaging her scalp through her (kinky,curly,thick,straight) hair

Once again they'd be sharing the night together she already knew he wasn't letting her leave so after she had stopped crying and did all the things she needed to do before she went to sleep she crawled into bed with him usually shed sleep on his chest but tonight rick insisted on sleeping on her chest probably his way of making sure she stayed there. Of course the two were butterball ass naked it was the only way she could sleep, “i love you” rick said just as she was drifting to sleep she smiled and kissed his forehead “i love you too.”

#rick sanchez #x reader #fanfic #rick and morty #language #anger vent #rick x y/n

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nepenthendline · 4 years ago

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Soulmates - Aone

This was a commission for @dont-mind-me-imjustpassingby! My commissions are 30% off until 30th september 💕💕 Hope you enjoy!

(also I changed my banners oooo)

2.3k

Ever since you were born you had the two words on your wrist memorised: ‘it’s you’. Your key to finding your soulmate, your one true love who would be perfect for you in every way. Each day, even as a little child you had dreamed about that one day you’d hear those two familiar words, and how your heart would finally feel complete. Some of your friends had already found their fated soulmate; one when they were 7, one two years ago, and one just last week, but there were plenty others who were still looking for their other puzzle piece – you being one of them.

You still had time, you had to keep reminding yourself. You were only a second year at Date Tech, and you still even had a whole year at the busy school to run into your soulmate, but it felt so frustrating to wait.

To busy your time instead of worrying yourself silly over this, you had joined the volleyball team as a manager in your first year. At first, you didn’t know much about the sport at all, but you grew to love watching the ball fall on the opponent’s side, and hearing it bounce off the strong arms of the blockers. Over time, you built a great relationship with the team members, and they respected you. It was a little easier for you to talk to the second years though, as you had much more in common due to your shared classes.

That was except for one though: Aone. Well, it wasn’t exactly just you that struggled communicating with the boy. In the past two years, you’d noticed how he rarely ever spoke, to you or to others, and how he preferred to reply in grunts or nods. It wasn’t like you had never heard his voice; however, it was just never once directed at you.

Even so, somehow you were so drawn to him. It was like a magnetic force that tugged on your heart every time you were near him. Every nerve in your body kept telling you to talk to him, to learn more about him; so, you did.

It certainly helped that you were quite close to Futakuchi, who seemed well versed in the communicative ways of Aone. The three of you, all being second years, started walking home together after practice, meeting up for morning practice, leading into study sessions at each other’s houses to cram before your exams.

While Aone never spoke, he certainly never lacked expression. During your time together you got to learn more about him: what he liked, what he didn’t like, the subjects he enjoyed and his talents, all by carefully watching him and learning the little signs of happiness or discomfort. Such as the way his eyes widen a little and his face softens when he sees a cute kitten cross the street on the way home, or how his brow furrows deeply when he can’t understand a homework question. It was so interesting, so charming.

You felt so comfortable around him. You saw how kind he was, and how thoughtful he could be whenever he tried to help or comfort his friends. However, while you hung out together often, you never really knew where you stood. Were you friends? Acquaintances? Purely club-mates? He didn’t seem to avoid you by any means, but it was as he tried to keep a little distance between the two of you. You knew you were probably never going to get much talking from him, but even after a year of your company, he had never answered a question or shared his thoughts to you with words. Futakuchi had mentioned to you before about how he only spoke with those he was extremely comfortable with, so you supposed he didn’t think of you as dearly as you did for him.

You didn’t mind the silence, but sometimes, it stung. It hurt knowing how your mind was filled with thoughts of him every day, and how you just wanted to be someone he could rely on, someone who could confide in when things got tough.

Every time you caught yourself staring a little too long at him, or when you noticed you’d stayed up late thinking about him, you were ashamed of yourself. And every day your shame grew as you fell deeper and deeper for him. You hadn’t even met your soulmate and yet you’d already abandoned your perfect future together to adore this boy a little more. There were rumours of how people had developed relationships with those who weren’t their destined soulmate, but these people were often shunned on by society. The world had chosen the perfect person for you, and you’re only job was to love and care for them, yet you had failed already.

The guilt was eating away at you, slowly breaking you down. You loved a man that wasn’t your soulmate, and you didn’t know what to do to fix it. So, you stepped back. You tried to get your mind off Aone by keeping your distance. You’d run off before you could walk home together, or you’d find an excuse to miss your study nights. You spent more time with other friends and trying to meet new people in case you stumbled across your soulmate and the shock could take Aone from your heart. But, no matter how long you spent away from him, no matter how else you tried to fill your time and thoughts, you were always pulled to him.

Aone, on the other hand, was dealing with a different type of stress to you, but one that chained him up just as tightly. A year ago, he found his soulmate; a year since he had heard those exact words on his wrist said to him, and how he had found the one for him. In that moment, and every moment since, he had dealt with a flood of emotions. Happiness, fear, relief and doubt. The world told him that this person was the one for him, the one who would finally accept him, love him and every part of him. He already knew that he loved them; every moment around them made his heart soar. Soulmate or not, he had fallen for them, their beauty, their compassion and care. But why was he so scared? So scared that his fated life partner wouldn’t feel the same? He didn’t even know if it was possible, but every instance with others had led him to believe that he was unwanted, unapproachable and unattractive. They may not have been his soulmates, sure, but there was never an instance besides the volleyball team where he felt accepted, and he couldn’t face the possibility of his one and only chance of love, the only chance he ever wanted, to be lost.

And his worst nightmare was coming true. It didn’t take long for him to notice the change. He saw you draw away from him, leaving him behind in the pursuit for another; probably someone better, more handsome or more sophisticated. He might have a soulmate, but no one could fall for him.

“Why don’t you just tell her?” Futakuchi asked, sitting next to him on the steps leading into the school gym and Aone watched you in the distance filling water bottles. Aone didn’t need to answer for Futakuchi to know the answer, not that he would have anyway.

“If you don’t speak to her, she’s never going to know you’re her soulmate,” Futakuchi watched as Aone’s face screwed together tighter, and how his head fell to look at his wrist. He lightly traced over the words he had heard a year ago from you, still remembering how it sounded. His friend sighed besides him, throwing an arm over his shoulders.

“I know you’re scared, but she was made for you, and only for you. The universe knew that she would love you, and that you would love her. Besides, you’re already friends with her and we both know how lovely she is. Soulmates or not, she’d still find a way to know you and fall for you.” Aone turned to look at him, his eyes were swallowed with insecurity and fear, and he swallowed heard. “Just give it a chance, you won’t know until you do. If you wait too long you might lose her,” he saw the panic flash in his friend’s eyes at those words, could Aone really lose his only chance? Futakuchi lifted his arm off, smacking him on the back, “go sweep her off her feet, yeah? You’re a great guy, I’m sure you can romance her,” he teased with a wink, before heading back into the gym at the sound of their coach calling to start practice. Could he make you fall for him? He had no idea, but he had to at least try.

Through practice, the only time you had spoken to him was to ask if he wanted a towel, and he was way past the point of missing your voice. He wanted to make things right, to make you his but he just didn’t know how. He wasn’t the best at dealing with people, nor did he ever know what to say, and speaking itself was a struggle for him.

At the end of practice, you had headed off home as soon as you had finished clearing up, while the team members were still getting changed. You wanted to be by yourself for a little while, maybe go somewhere you could clear your head. You’d been so busy recently trying to distract yourself from the hole in your heart, but every attempted made it grow bigger.

It was dark on your way some expect for the dim glow of the streetlights that barely guided your way. Your legs were tired, but your mind felt worse. By the side of the road was a large park, one you used to play in as a child, and the bench that sat under a streetlight called you. You trudged over, dropping your bag to your side and slumping down on the seat. You pulled your legs up onto the bench, tucking them close to your chest and let your head fall back. Taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes and focused on the cold breeze as it swirled freely around you, yet you felt so stuck.

Aone had left the school after he had changed and gave a swift nod as a goodbye to his teammates. He still wasn’t used to walking home alone without your chatter and warmth to keep him company. He didn’t like being out alone in the dark either, but he was always more concerned about your safety than his.

As he walked under the dim lights, a figure at the corner of his eye caught his attention. Looking over, he saw what he could immediately recognise as you, sitting on the lonely bench, your head thrown back and your body tucked into itself. His heart skipped a beat, partly in adoration at the sight of you, and partly in worry.

Footsteps moved across the road behind you, creeping louder and louder with each step, certainly coming towards you. You opened your eyes, and the shock of seeing Aone leaning over the bench to look you directly in the eyes sent shivers down your body.

“You scared me,” you half-heartedly muttered, sitting up straighter than before. He stared at you for a couple moments, before rounding the bench and sitting by your side. You both sat silently, listening to the wind rustle through the trees.

He turned to look at you as your gaze was ahead, watching the park in front. The light from above highlighted your features and reflected from your eyes, although that seemed to be the only light that came from them. He felt his hand subconsciously move across the bench towards you, but he quickly snatched it back before you could notice. He was scared, but you deserved to know rather than spend the rest of your life wandering around, hoping.

“It’s you,” he mumbled out, his voice deep and thick from its lack of use. He saw your eyes grow wide, and as the realisation set in, your head snapped towards him.

“Huh?” He didn’t know if you genuinely didn’t hear him, or if you just couldn’t believe this moment.

“It’s you,” he repeated, a little louder and a little more certain than before.

Your jaw hung open a bit, trying to find a way to move. You looked away from him, then back to him again, then down at your wrist. Those same words you had just heard were staring back at you in permanent ink on your skin, glowing.

All this time, and the one you had been looking for was right in front of you. The one you had been dreaming about and thinking of was yours. You started chuckling to yourself out of pure astonishment, what a fool you had been. All the intense feelings you felt for him, all the times you wanted to pull him close, every moment you spent watching him in devotion was for this exact reason; he was your soulmate, your one and only love.

His face tensed at your reaction, half relieved that you didn’t seem disgusted, and half confused that you were so calm. You looked towards him with a lazily smile, and he saw that glint in your eyes that he grew so fond of.

“I-I hope you can grow to accept me as your soulmate,” he spoke sincerely, fiddling with his fingers in his lap as his voice staggered out.

“That’s what I’ve been wishing for, for the past year.”

#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyū!!#Commission #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu fanfiction #aone takanobu #Aone x reader #Aone takanobu x reader #Haikyuu fluff #Haikyuu angst #Soulmate AU

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mcyt-sh1t · 3 years ago

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presence here with me and that’s enough for me, because I am glad your heart is beating and you’re still fighting. You’re so much stronger thank you think, you didn’t leave your spot on this earth even if you wanted to, you belong here, even though it doesn’t feel like it, when you don’t feel like belonging than build your own home here, put all your love in it and dreams. Think of you as a star when you feel alone, you shine because your heart is good, no matter what mistake you made, no matter about the past you had, you’re one of the stars that shine bright in the universe because you’re heart is beautiful, that’s why the demons in your mind wants to have it. As one of the stars you see others stars, maybe they have felt the same way as you do at some point in there life, but they lighten up the universe with each other’s presence. You’re a star for me, maybe you don’t see it yourself but I can see it, you’re beautiful from inside and out, your body is beautiful the way it is. You make me happy by reading this, you make me feel something by your presence and when you can make me feel that way than you also make other people feel that way about you too. I hope you stay for yourself and don’t let your story get written by others but by yourself, it’s your story not theirs. As you can see, I say a lot of “I hope” because I have hope for you even if you don’t have it for yourself, I see hope in you even though you might want to give up. That’s why I hope you won’t see the world in darkness and will see it colorful again, I hope I will give you a glimpse of hope and make the world you see a bit colorful for today. My favorite color is yellow, and I hope the next time you see the color yellow you will think about my words. If someone left you than don’t blame yourself, don’t think you weren’t enough, don’t lower yourself for someone who couldn’t see the awesomeness in you. If you lost someone I am so sorry for your loss, they want you happy, I hope you don’t feel guilty or regret because you were there, you spend enough time with them, they want you to be happy. They are in a good and safe place now. If someone broke your heart than I am so sorry that they couldn’t see the way you look so beautiful because of the heart you have. Anyone who gets to be with you, doesn’t know how fucking lucky he/ she/ they is :). If you aren’t accepted at home or in general than I am so sorry that you have to deal with someone/ something you shouldn’t be ashamed of, I accept you and support you, I accept you as a human being no matter what race, religion, nationality, skin color, or sexuality you have. You’re safe here with me :). You’re not useless, you’re not a burden to anyone. You’re not a problem, you’re human and your feelings are valid. You’re not being dramatic. Please don’t starve yourself, you deserve food and to drink, I know it’s hard. It hurts to see that you’re in so much pain :( you deserve so much man, don’t let your emotions control you. Don’t let them get the best of you. I am sorry no one is noticing, I wish /hope I could take your pain away for today or even for a moment while you’re reading this. If no one told you, I am so proud of you, you’re reading this and it’s enough for me to be proud of you because you’re here and that’s all that matters to me. If it’s night for you, go to sleep, I know it’s hard to fall asleep right now but you deserve a good sleep. If you have nightmares, please, don’t let them fight you. If it’s day for you, don’t start it by such sad music, I know it’s impossible to have a good day with such mindset but take baby steps, start by drinking two cups of water everyday in the morning and so on.. You will start building little healthy habits. If it’s evening for you, you’re probably overwhelmed and stressed, I want you to know it’s okay to feel the way you feel. You don’t need to be scared, of course you’re overwhelmed or stressed, I mean who wouldn’t? But it’s important to know that when you feel that way you should do a little self care, such as taking a bath for example?

You deserve to feel at ease and relaxed. And if you are somewhere in between I hope you know that you’re so strong for breathing despite the pain, I know you will make it :) I believe in you. All I want for you is to stay here, I really mean all my words, even if there is a lot of unsaid things I want to tell u and my text is getting longer and longer,I want you here. I hope one day your smile will become a genuine one where you don’t need to fake it anymore, because I can’t say this enough, you deserve a good smile and to feel alive. You’re worth more than every fucking cent in this world. You can let go for today, I got you, you can cry your heart out as much as you want, but don’t let it tear you down and let your emotions control you by giving up. Crying is not weakness. If you still feel alone I dedicate you a song as your friend. “Dusk till Dawn- Zayn feat. Sia (I prefer the slow version)” I hope you can think of me and will remind yourself of my words, I will for sure think of you. In case no one told you and you’re unsure yourself, you’re a good person and I am so happy you’re here. I hope this is enough to stay today, tomorrow will be a new day, a new start, let go now. Enough with beating yourself up for today, okay? Life for those who couldn’t, smile for those who forgot what a genuine smile is, love like there’s no other, hug like its your last one. If you read all of it, until tomorrow my friend :) have a good day and great years. I love you so much and am so proud of you, I hope you will remember my words- becho, the stranger that cares more about you than anything :)

#long post #sara appreciates everyone <3 #text is not mine but this made me happy cry so i had to share it :))

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dumbobsessivebitch · 3 years ago

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Dear Stranger

To the person who read this, It’s been hard for you, I know, and it makes me sad that you don’t see yourself in the way I see you. Sometimes they are things in life that cause us to loose ourselves, and the way you have is so unimaginable painful. I miss your smile, the way your eyes light up the whole room just by the sound of your laughter. I miss the way you accepted the way you look in the mirror without cursing yourself out about how ugly you look. I miss the way you didn’t think of yourself as a failure because everyone makes mistakes, we all have flaws and we all aren’t perfect. It’s painful to see that no one around you seems to see the pain trough your eyes, but, stranger, I do, I see how heavy your heart is and how comforting the sadness for you might be, how afraid your heart is of happiness because it disappears in the end, right? You don’t know how much impact you have in this world and it’s sad to see that your demons fight against you and want to take over you. Because you do make change, it’s something so simple and little that brightens up someone’s whole world, it can be a small smile from your lips, the way you look at things you’re passionate about, the way you make yourself eat even though it’s been hard for you lately, the way you zoom out and go in your own world, you brighten up my world by reading this, it means a lot to me that you’re here, existing, but I don’t want you to just exist, you deserve to feel alive. You deserve to get up in the morning and feel good about yourself. You deserve to feel something- to feel every damn second alive in this lifetime. It’s heartbreaking that you think you’re not capable of being loved, because you are, I love you trough all my words and I hope you let it happen in your heart. Love is scary, I know, maybe you heart had been broken once and since then you wanted to be rather numb than feel ever again, it hurts me how you punish yourself, does it not deserve love? Because YOU DO deserve love, please forgive yourself, it’s not your fault that the demons want to take over your beautiful heart. You’re not a bad person for distancing yourself from others, but you deserve someone to talk to, you deserve someone to listen. I am listening, you can tell me what’s wrong. It’s everything, isn’t it? There’s something pulling your heartstrings on the ground and no one seems to understand how misunderstood you feel, it’s heartbreaking to know that I am behind the screen and can’t give you a hug, that’s why I will give you a big warm virtual hug and send you lots of love :). You matter. You are worthy. You are loved. You deserve good things. You deserve someone to listen. You deserve to eat and drink. You deserve to feel good and alive. You deserve to smile. You deserve a hug. You deserve to be all the things you want to be, because you deserve to have and feel good things happening to you and have a fulfilled life. I know I might not know you personally but I care about you so much, I write this because I want you to stay here with me, I want you to hold on a little longer because you matter so much to me, because I will not let you give up on yourself. I want you to see that you should not give up on yourself because you DESERVE GOOD THINGS. I want you to look back on the time when you were a kid, you didn’t give up when you tried to swim for the first time, you didn’t give up when you tired to walk for the first time and fell, you never gave up on yourself, you always kept on pushing forwards, so why can’t you now? I know it’s tiring, your mentally tired, but dont your younger self deserve good things? look back at your eyes that used to be full of hope, look back on those dreams. Don’t let yourself fall, you deserve better. We will both fight, I will fight for you. I won’t let those demons get to you. You can hold on to me, I won’t let you down :). Whenever you feel lonely, then look at the sky, I always look at it and think about you. Yes, you, because it makes me happy that there’s someone looking right back, maybe we can’t see each other but I can feel your presence here with me and that’s enough for me, because I am glad your heart is beating and you’re still fighting. You’re so much stronger thank you think, you didn’t leave your spot on this earth even if you wanted to, you belong here, even though it doesn’t feel like it, when you don’t feel like belonging than build your own home here, put all your love in it and dreams. Think of you as a star when you feel alone, you shine because your heart is good, no matter what mistake you made, no matter about the past you had, you’re one of the stars that shine bright in the universe because you’re heart is beautiful, that’s why the demons in your mind wants to have it. As one of the stars you see others stars, maybe they have felt the same way as you do at some point in there life, but they lighten up the universe with each other’s presence. You’re a star for me, maybe you don’t see it yourself but I can see it, you’re beautiful from inside and out, your body is beautiful the way it is. You make me happy by reading this, you make me feel something by your presence and when you can make me feel that way than you also make other people feel that way about you too. I hope you stay for yourself and don’t let your story get written by others but by yourself, it’s your story not theirs. As you can see, I say a lot of “I hope” because I have hope for you even if you don’t have it for yourself, I see hope in you even though you might want to give up. That’s why I hope you won’t see the world in darkness and will see it colorful again, I hope I will give you a glimpse of hope and make the world you see a bit colorful for today. My favorite color is yellow, and I hope the next time you see the color yellow you will think about my words. If someone left you than don’t blame yourself, don’t think you weren’t enough, don’t lower yourself for someone who couldn’t see the awesomeness in you. If you lost someone I am so sorry for your loss, they want you happy, I hope you don’t feel guilty or regret because you were there, you spend enough time with them, they want you to be happy. They are in a good and safe place now. If someone broke your heart than I am so sorry that they couldn’t see the way you look so beautiful because of the heart you have. Anyone who gets to be with you, doesn’t know how fucking lucky he/ she/ they is :). If you aren’t accepted at home or in general than I am so sorry that you have to deal with someone/ something you shouldn’t be ashamed of, I accept you and support you, I accept you as a human being no matter what race, religion, nationality, skin color, or sexuality you have. You’re safe here with me :). You’re not useless, you’re not a burden to anyone. You’re not a problem, you’re human and your feelings are valid. You’re not being dramatic. Please don’t starve yourself, you deserve food and to drink, I know it’s hard. It hurts to see that you’re in so much pain :( you deserve so much man, don’t let your emotions control you. Don’t let them get the best of you. I am sorry no one is noticing, I wish /hope I could take your pain away for today or even for a moment while you’re reading this. If no one told you, I am so proud of you, you’re reading this and it’s enough for me to be proud of you because you’re here and that’s all that matters to me. If it’s night for you, go to sleep, I know it’s hard to fall asleep right now but you deserve a good sleep. If you have nightmares, please, don’t let them fight you. If it’s day for you, don’t start it by such sad music, I know it’s impossible to have a good day with such mindset but take baby steps, start by drinking two cups of water everyday in the morning and so on.. You will start building little healthy habits. If it’s evening for you, you’re probably overwhelmed and stressed, I want you to know it’s okay to feel the way you feel. You don’t need to be scared, of course you’re overwhelmed or stressed, I mean who wouldn’t? But it’s important to know that when you feel that way you should do a little self care, such as taking a bath for example? You deserve to feel at ease and relaxed. And if you are somewhere in between I hope you know that you’re so strong for breathing despite the pain, I know you will make it :) I believe in you. All I want for you is to stay here, I really mean all my words, even if there is a lot of unsaid things I want to tell u and my text is getting longer and longer,I want you here. I hope one day your smile will become a genuine one where you don’t need to fake it anymore, because I can’t say this enough, you deserve a good smile and to feel alive. You’re worth more than every fucking cent in this world. You can let go for today, I got you, you can cry your heart out as much as you want, but don’t let it tear you down and let your emotions control you by giving up. Crying is not weakness. If you still feel alone I dedicate you a song as your friend. “Dusk till Dawn- Zayn feat. Sia (I prefer the slow version)” I hope you can think of me and will remind yourself of my words, I will for sure think of you. In case no one told you and you’re unsure yourself, you’re a good person and I am so happy you’re here. I hope this is enough to stay today, tomorrow will be a new day, a new start, let go now. Enough with beating yourself up for today, okay? Life for those who couldn’t, smile for those who forgot what a genuine smile is, love like there’s no other, hug like its your last one. If you read all of it, until tomorrow my friend :) have a good day and great years. I love you so much and am so proud of you, I hope you will remember my words- becho, the stranger that cares more about you than anything :) <3

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thewarriorshomegirl · 4 years ago

Text

ALRIGHT SO I CANT WRITE ENDINGS TO SAVE MY LIFE, SO YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

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This is just a little some I wrote because I couldn't get the headcanon of Cowboy being afraid of water out of my head. Enjoy :3

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"Let's get out of here and do something fun for once!" Vermin demanded, throwing the cards in his hand on to the table in front of him. Cochise and Ajax gave him a questioning look, but before either could ask what the fuck he was talking about, he finished his statement. "And I think that should be swimming!"

"Not a chance." Cleon spoke up, walking over to the male with his arms crossed. "We can't afford to let our guards down. You know the other gangs have been breathing down our necks lately."

Vermin huffed, pouting a bit. "Cone on Warlord. We can just go to the beach for a few hours and make it back. Besides, no one would even be on our turf. We have scouts all over the place man!" He tried to reason with Cleon, a small pleading look on his face.

"We have been cooped up in here for a while now Warlord," Swan spoke up, everyone going silent at his words and staring at him in surprise. Was this their Swan? "What? I'm just saying that we have been in here for too long, just waiting for something. Tension has been high these past few days anyway. It may be needed."

Cleon clicked his tongue at Swan's words, all eyes going back to him. "I guess you got a point," He sighed, knowing he'll probably regret this. "Alright. We can go down to the beach for a few hours."

Those words sent almost everyone into cheering. Even Snow who only showed emotions during special times cracked a little smile. Everyone was excited.

Except Cowboy.

Cowboy sar there, digging his nails into the palm of his hand to keep himself calm. Who was he to ruin his brothers fun and excitement? His eyes went over to the youngest of the group, Rembrandt, who looked as if he had just taken five cans of flash back to back. Watching him, he couldn't help the little smile that came to his lips. Maybe it won't be so bad after all.

...............

He was wrong.

This was terrible.

Cowboy stared down at the water as it engulfed his feet. Why did he agree to come? He should have stayed back and scouted. He couldnt do this. The memories of his childhood immediately flashed through his mind. The feeling of the water swallowing him whole, taking his air away from him painfully slow. Being alone underneath the water. No one to help him. His eyes had gotten heavy and he finally just accepted it and let his eyes shut. The next thing he remembered was being surrounded by people he didn't know and was coughing up water.

So yeah, the beach wasn't his favorite place in the world.

Thankfully, before Cowboy could completely let his memories devour him, a hand on his back pulled him back to reality. He turned his head, being met by Rembrandt's soft smile. He was wet from head to toe, his once big and tall 'fro, now curly and plastered to his head.

"You can't go swimming with your hat, you know." Rem stated softly, slowly removing his hand from the older one's back.

Cowboy let out a soft chuckle, reaching up to adjust his hat. "Yeah, well.. I didn't really plan on swimming." He admitted, earning a frown from the younger male.

"You weren't? Why not?" Rembrandt asked, a small pout forming on his lips. Why didn't his friend want to swim? Was he ashamed of how he looked without a shirt? Now that he thought about it, Cowboy was one of the three who did wear a shirt under his vest. Before he could stop himself, his gaze fell to Cowboy's chest and stomach for a few moments before he looked back at him, cheeks heating up a bit. "Well... Do you want to go walk down the beach with me? I dont want you to feel left out."

Is Rembrandt checking me out? That was the first thought that Cowboy had when Rem's gaze shifted to his body. He didn't have much time to react to that and he almost didn't process the question before nodding. "Yea-Yeah, sure. Let's go." He said softly.

The two headed down the beach, Cowboy walking along where the water stopped and Rembrandt walking in the water, lightly kicking his feet as he did.

They ended up a good distance away from the group and Cowboy was actually enjoying the peaceful silence from the other guys. He was almost startled when Rem suddenly spoke.

"Are you afraid of the ocean?"

The question made his blood run cold and his face flush. "Wh-What? No! Why would I be? I have no reason to be afraid! I love it! It's amazing! It's-" He was shut up by Rembrandt's hand suddenly being placed against his mouth.

"It's okay if you are, Cowboy."

The softness of Rem's voice made Cowboy begin to relax a bit. He closed his eyes as the hand was removed and then nodded. "I hate it," He said softly. "But I didn't want to ruin anyone's day... Especially yours." He said, opening his eyes to look down at Rembrandt. "You seemed excited to come."

Rembrandt listened to him attentively and shook his head. "Cowboy, you wouldn't have ruined anything," he said. "Everyone would have understood if you didn't want to go. You didn't have to force yourself to come." He looked over to the other guys. "You wouldn't have even had to admit it to them. Just said that you didn't want to. They would have understood. Well... Ajax probably would have called you a pussy, but who cares?"

Cowboy let out a laugh and shook his head. "That's definitely what he would say." He smiled softly as he looked at Rembrandt. He didn't know why, but... He felt compelled to tell him why he hated it. "I almost drowned as a kid. Fuckin' terrifying at first then... it turned peaceful. I would like to be able to go swimmin' and shit again but..." He sighed. "I'm scared." This was the first time he ever admitted that he was scared of something to someone. Sure he's been worried before, like with Cyrus' meeting and all, but thats different from being scared.

Cowboy's thoughts were once again interrupted by Rembrandt's soft hand sliding into his own. He looked down and was met with a soft smile.

"Well, you dont have to be scared when I'm around. I won't let anything happen when we're here." Rem spoke softly, earning a small smile and a nod from Cowboy.

"Thanks Rem." He said, letting their fingers lace together.

Maybe the beach really wasn't that bad.

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Alright, so, the spacing is fucked up. Im sorry. I dont feel like fixing it right now lol.

I went through a lot of thoughts when trying to write this as of whether or not to make CxR a couple through the whole thing or not. Sooooooo let's just say that its up to yall lmao.

#the warriors 1979

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dreaminpeaches · 3 years ago

Note

How does Beau realize that he loves Bonnie, Idk if you already talked about this, I just love hearing about people realizing they're catching feels..

surprisingly I haven't talked about this, but here I go:

Since Beau is Demi he doesn't feel any romantic feels towards Bonnie when they first meet, at the time she's just the annoying weird girl whose the only person he can talk to without having a panic attack, Beau, himself doesn't know why Bonnie has that effect on him he just sums it up to her being new to town

Anyways they spend more time together mostly working on Bonnie's banged up whip, sometimes its just Bonnie busting in to show him some weird manga, or weird Japanese candy/snack or whatever--basically to Bonnie, Beau is her "normie" friend that she exposes a bunch of the weirdest parts of her interest to(if you pickin' up what I'm putting down )

They go on a bunch of weird misadventures together, The time Beau spends with Bonnie is kind of like a buffer in between the time he spends trying to make amends from his past victims, which is a nice need break for the heavy thoughts...

In fact, Beau usually cuts the conversation short with Bonnie whenever she asks about his school life and high school experiences, he really enjoys the light, goofy moments he has with Bonnie (even though he wouldn't admit it) and doesn't want his poisonous past to taint that..

Beau catching feels for Bonnie starts slow, at first he starts to just enjoy looking at her (even and especially when she does dumb stuff), starts to actually laugh at her dumb corny jokes, and things start to feel more boring when she's not around than peaceful

(TW: Emotional, Mental abuse, Overworking self to exhaustion)

One of the big moments is when Bonnie has to go to a debutante ball kind of event, it was an event that Bonnie was always forced to go to when she was a kid and she had to perform a dance, each and every year Bonnie would work REALLY hard to prefect her performance, but every year her mother would scold her after the performance and say that she wasn't good enough.

Bonnie thought she was free of having to go to the ball because she had moved out and away from her mom, but that turned out not to be true, Bonnie goes to the ball to prove once and for all that she's not a failure so that her mom could be proud of her or at least leave her alone.

During this time Beau doesn't see much of Bonnie at the gas station since she's too busy trying to perfect her dance, he still checks on her and often finds Bonnie overworking herself, even to exhaustion at one point but Bonnie reassures Beau that this will all be worth it once she's able to show her mother what for!

Bonnie (of course) invites Beau along for moral and emotional support, Beau accepts because he couldn't let Bonnie go alone, with a good conscience.

There is the iconic moment in all romcoms and anime, where Beau sees Bonnie all dressed up and it makes him feel some type of way, but Bonnie's way too nervous about her performance to notice

The night of the ball arrives and Bonnie's mom sends for a limo to get her daughter because Bonnie showing up in a banged-up car would be humiliating.

Bonnie's mother is surprised that Bonnie showed up with another normal-looking person, let alone a man. Bonnie's mom assumes Bonnie and Beau are dating, but they both quickly shot that down, and then Bonnie's mom is like "Oh, shockingly I'm not surprised, you were always more infatuated with those fictional boys from those nonsense cartoons you watched, I guess some things never change"

Anyways, the night goes on Beau feels weird being surrounded by a bunch of fancy people wearing fancy clothes, and eating tiny fancy weird food and Bonnie feels weird because of her past memories floating in, and nervous stage fright/butterflies from just thinking about her performance, but they're both still there for each other, so they're somewhat grounded

The time of the performance comes and Bonnie steals herself away to get ready and Beau gives Bonnie some advice, whenever Beau got nervous before a big game, he would just look out at the crowd for his mom and just focus and pretend like she was the only one there because of win or lose he knew she would still love him anyway.

Bonnie was kind of like "uh...i like your cut, g, but , uh can't relate"

"Fine, fine, whatever just look at me"

"D-does that mean you--"

"JUST LOOK AT ME, OKAY?"

Bonnie is silent for a sec then nods firmly "Okay!"

Bonnie disappears into the crowd and returns to the center of the ballroom atop some fancy-looking stairs, in a ballet outfit she made all by herself that's clearly inspired by magical girl anime, the music starts and Bonnie puts on a banger of performance, all her moves are on point, every move is meaningful and graceful, all eyes on her. Bonnie steals a few glances to look at Beau for strength and support and he can't keep his eyes off of her, this is the most focused Beau has ever seen Bonnie on something that isn't connected to anime or mascots in any way.

Bonnie finishes her performance to the roaring of applause and roses, which kind of startles Bonnie for a sec because in her mind she literally only saw Beau and the rest of the crowd just loaded in out of nowhere, but she felt proud. Bonnie gets up and rushes towards Beau, he gets an urge to lean down towards Bonnie for like a kiss but receives a hug instead, which makes him feel kind of like what? but he's still happy Bonnie's happy...

Bonnie looks for her mom to see if she saw the performance, Bonnie finds her mom in a room that kind of overlooks the ballroom area, Bonnie's mom is alone, despite Bonnie's seemingly perfect performance her mom isn't happy, she's ashamed that her daughter would perform in such a gaudy outfit particularly treating the ball like one of Bonnie's little animation costume contest she's always going on about, Bonnie's mom claims that the audience was to distract by her ridiculous outfit to even notice her equally awful performance.

Bonnie is shocked and runs away in tears, Beau starts to follow her but Bonnie's mom says "Don't bother, she does this every year, she's just being overdramatic"

Beau turns to Bonnie's mom and tells her off; talks about even though Bonnie's kind of weird, she's very passionate about the things she really cares about, how she goes out of her way to make people happy, basically, he gushes about Bonnie without actually being gushy and tells her mom to f#%$ off.

Beau looks for Bonnie and finds her on the steps outside of the ball...

Bonnie: "Don't think I can ever show my face around here again"

Beau: "So, don't.." Beau takes out a cigarette and smokes it "Out of all the house parties I've ever been to this one's the shittest so far"

Bonnie: "What about the limo, how are we gonna get home?"

Beau:"Fuck the limo, we can just take the bus. That limo made me feel cramped anyways"

Bonnie: "I dont think I can walk all the way to the bus stop"

Beau: "UGH, fuck fine!" *Beau stomps out the cigarette and lowers his body down "If you wanted to get on my back just say so next time"

Bonnie: "O-oh, r-right.."

Beau carries Bonnie all the way to the bus stop, the bus picks them up and they both fall asleep for part of the trip, Beau wakes back up before they reach their stop and carries Bonnie the rest of the way home.

To Beau the whole thing would have been a dream had he not woken right next to Bonnie in her bed the next morning still in the same clothes, they wore to the ball.

Beau leaves Bonnie's place before she wakes up and heads home since he forgot to call his mom that he would be crashing at Bonnie's

For the rest of the week, Beau feels weird around Bonnie, Bonnie thanks Beau for his chivalry but other than a few minor references to that night neither of them barely speak about it.

Beau goes to his mom for advice about his feeling since she always seems to know what to say and how Beau's feeling even when he doesn't mention it, Beau explains what happened that night and how upset it made him feel that someone could treat Bonnie so bad like that.

Beau's mom explains that he might be falling for Bonnie, at first Beau is kind of shocked and has a hard time coming to terms with the fact (its literally like that one song in Hercules), but the more time he spends around Bonnie after he's feelings for her grow stronger and he's like "yeah, maybe mom was right"

Oof, yeah at least that's what I could think up on the fly, hope you're satisfied with this fast food of an answer

#I wouldn't say im in love #paracsom #immersive dayadreaming #paraportal #paracosm: humble pie #para ship: beaunnie #peach replies #peach's ask box #i just realized beau's basically the male version of meg from Hercules #*adds to Beau's playlist #i wrote this at 2am #forgive my ramblings #forgive my misspellings #tsundere Beau really jumped out in this post huh

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the-warriors-homegirl · 4 years ago

Text

Beach Vibes with the Bois

ALRIGHT SO I CANT WRITE ENDINGS TO SAVE MY LIFE, SO YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

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This is just a little some I wrote because I couldn't get the headcanon of Cowboy being afraid of water out of my head. Enjoy :3

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

"Not a chance." Cleon spoke up, walking over to the male with his arms crossed. "We can't afford to let our guards down. You know the other gangs have been breathing down our necks lately."

Cleon clicked his tongue at Swan's words, all eyes going back to him. "I guess you got a point," He sighed, knowing he'll probably regret this. "Alright. We can go down to the beach for a few hours."

Those words sent almost everyone into cheering. Even Snow who only showed emotions during special times cracked a little smile. Everyone was excited.

Except Cowboy.

...............

He was wrong.

This was terrible.

So yeah, the beach wasn't his favorite place in the world.

"You can't go swimming with your hat, you know." Rem stated softly, slowly removing his hand from the older one's back.

Cowboy let out a soft chuckle, reaching up to adjust his hat. "Yeah, well.. I didn't really plan on swimming." He admitted, earning a frown from the younger male.

The two headed down the beach, Cowboy walking along where the water stopped and Rembrandt walking in the water, lightly kicking his feet as he did.

They ended up a good distance away from the group and Cowboy was actually enjoying the peaceful silence from the other guys. He was almost startled when Rem suddenly spoke.

"Are you afraid of the ocean?"

"It's okay if you are, Cowboy."

Cowboy's thoughts were once again interrupted by Rembrandt's soft hand sliding into his own. He looked down and was met with a soft smile.

"Well, you dont have to be scared when I'm around. I won't let anything happen when we're here." Rem spoke softly, earning a small smile and a nod from Cowboy.

"Thanks Rem." He said, letting their fingers lace together.

Maybe the beach really wasn't that bad.

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Alright, so, the spacing is fucked up. Im sorry. I dont feel like fixing it right now lol.

I went through a lot of thoughts when trying to write this as of whether or not to make CxR a couple through the whole thing or not. Sooooooo let's just say that its up to yall lmao.

#the warriors 1979

6 notes · View notes

marshmallowprotection · 4 years ago

Note

Out of all the outcomes, it had to turn out like this? Its like whenever i finally start to feel happy, it always gets ripped away from me.But life isn’t fair, especially to runaways. I guess that’s why i opened the door to a strangers apartment. I remember the hunger pains I felt that day, I remember how cold it was sleeping outside. God that feels like ages ago, its hard to believe that I’ve only been with you all for only a few months. I remember meeting all of you for the first time, I was terrified but you all tried to make me feel the most comfortable I could be. I still Romberg that special knock seven used to let me know it was him and not some random stranger. I also remover that little lie he told me when I said I didn’t want anything to eat or drink,” I have a gift card that’s about to expire,” that never fails to bring a smile to my face. On the ride to the penthouse, seven told me to give jumin a chance, that he isn’t some cold, heartless Man. He just doesn’t know how to express his emotions.

Jaehee, god she was a life saver when i got my first period, I couldn’t thank her enough after she calmed me down and made me realize that I wasn’t dying. I was so embarrassed, but she assured me that it is natural and it is nothing to be ashamed about. She was the older sister I never had, taking me to get bras that actually fit, teaching me how to brew coffee, giving me girl advice, thank you so much for that. You are so amazing and I love helping you at your cafe.

Yoosung, I can’t believe how close we’ve gotten, you’re so fun and easy to chat with. You always help me take my mind off of my bad dreams by playing LOLOL together, well its more you playing the game and me pressing random buttons. And all the times you have helped me with homework questions, but i guess that’s a benefit of online school. You might get teased by everyone but you’re amazing, and kind, and I cherish our moments together.

Zen, you took on the role of an older brother the second you found out my age, and that I’m a runaway, but I guess it’s cause you’re one too. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that. You reminded me so much of my older brother, but you and him are different people with different amazing qualities. You made me feel so safe, and I always had so much fun whenever you took me to rehearsal. I still smile and laugh when the lighting caption took me to their booth during lunch, while you were still practicing and let me use the spotlight, and I kept moving it around and you had to follow. That was so much fun. You were the first person who gave me a real hug in years, and I accepted it, it felt so good to be hugged with so much genuine care and affection that I cried in your arms. I know that you don’t always get along with jumin, but seeing you both try to get along for my sake warms my heart.

Seven, you were the first one I met. That first night I was at the apartment I know it was you who sent laundry detergent, shampoo, conditioner, food, tooth paste, a toothbrush, and other supplies I needed but didn’t have. You just didn’t want to take the credit. You were the first person in a long time to give me those supplies without a hidden motive. I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me, you arranged for me to stay with jumin until you all found a suitable home for me to live in(although that didn’t happen lol) you work tirelessly and put other before yourself, even though you love teasing yoosung everyone knows that you love him, not only him but everyone in the rfa. All those jokes and memes you send in the group chat are always hilarious, and all those times you broke into the penthouse at night to “play with Elly “ when it just by coincidence that i had a nightmare. We would always end up laughing so hard it hurts. You helped me in so many ways that I cant even name them all, thank you for always helping me.

Jumin, it has been a few months since you took me in, and those few months have made me the happiest I have ever been, without you and the rfa I dont know what would have happened to me, You took me, a runaway teenager, who you didn’t know, who was so reserved and barley talked, and you helped her. You turned me into the person I am today, and the person I am today is happy. You stood by me during the whole Glam and Sarah situation, and you didn’t even know me too well but you still protected me. You are always there for me during my nightmares. You even took me to see multiple types of doctors to make sure I was getting healthy, and to find out what steps to take to get me there, from setting reminders on my phone to eat, to getting me a weighted blanket so I could finally sleep through the night. You took on the parental role for a down on her luck runaway, and gave her a chance. I can’t ever thank you enough for that. I love you dad.

Sometimes I wonder what was going on in everyone’s heads when I popped up, but I just need everyone to know that I love them, so so much. Not many people can say that they got a second shot at having a family, but i did, and I love my family. You all showed me something I hadn’t felt since my brother died, love, affection, and a sense of belonging. Please, none of you blame yourselves for what happened to me.

Love, Bora Han.”

Hot tears streamed down Jumin face as he read Bora’s letter, the smell of disinfectant permeated the hospital room. The letter in one hand as the other gripped his unconscious daughters hand. The only comfort he found was the beeping of the heart monitor, telling him that his daughter is still alive. After four hours of emergency surgery on her shoulder from the fall she took, zen described what he saw as terrifying, unknown had a tight grip on the young girl, and threatening to take her away. Luckily bora kicked unknown in the shin and he dropped her. Unfortunately for bora, she landed on her arm, hard. Zen’s face paled as he recounted hearing the bone snap. She has a few stitches from scrambling on the floor to get to zen. She must have written the letters once we got news of the bomb in the apartment being controlled by unknown. It zen got her to a hospital just in time he is sitting on the chair across the room. He isn’t even supposed to be here, but all it took for the nurse to let it slide was some flirting, from his part. And I handed her more than enough money to convince her. All that matters is that my daughter is alive, and she is safe.

It was hours before I felt something squeeze my hand. My eyes meet a pair of purple eyes that look so insanely tired, they were already welling up in tears as zen rushes to grab a nurse and water.

“ hey duckling, I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere,”

“ i-“ she starts to cough, which makes her groan in pain, the meds must be wearing off. A nurse runs in to check up on bora as zen holds up a cur of water and brings it to boras lips. She must be so thirsty, and she looks so scared, she hates hospitals but right now her safety it top priority.

“ I’m so sorry dad” she says crying. Stroking her hair I try calming her as much as I can without her being in more pain.

“Duckling, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry about, you were so strong, and you still are so strong. I promise I wont leave you alone here.” I say calmly, making her calm down a bit.

“ me too kiddo, I’m not leaving you here too,” zen says as bora struggles to keep her eye open.

“When can I go home?” She asks, looking down at the big white cast on her arm, I can tell she will be needing a sling.

“Hopefully tomorrow, when we get home how would you like to watch a movie marathon? We can get those snacks you like, the gold fish? How would you like a new blanket? Name what you want and its yours.” Jumin says to bora, she just smiles up at him, still pretty put of it from the pain meds.

“ no, I dont want you to spend money on me, can we watch a movie together? Please?” The sweet young girl says as jumin reaches over to kiss her forehead.

“Absolutely duckling, now you need to rest. We will both be here when you wake up,” jumin says as him and zen turn the lights off and lay down on their respective make shift beds.

I’m kind of glad that the lights are off, its so hard to see bora in a cast, she just looks so small in that big hospital bed, but she is safe, and alive. We can get through this, I’ll be there every step of the way.

I'm not crying, you are! Family coming together for her sake.

#mod kait #ask #anon #bora kim oc #runaway MC #long post

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normal-thoughts-official · 5 years ago

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At what exact moment do you think malec fall in love?that moment in 1×06 when Magnus uses Alec's strength and then falls down exhausted? It's such an underrated moment but one can write a whole essay on it

as a matter of fact, yes, i do believe it was the moment in 1.06 (there is a reason it is my header, after all) and im really glad u asked because its one of my favorite moments and Ive been thinking of making a post about it in forever but never got to it so [cracks knuckles]

well, actually, i think 1.06 was the moment magnus fell in love. i dont know when alec fell in love, to be honest - i think with him, it was just something that kind of settled and clicked into place, you know? there was that attraction and there was the fact that magnus was an amazing person who had amazing chemistry with alec and who fought for him and extended his hand and tried to comfort him without judgement when no one would really allow him to be himself - and who gave him a space to be more of him than any other. but i dont think there was a precise moment when it hit Alec, and suddenly he had fallen; i think he realised he loved magnus when he said he loved him, but at that point it was already cemented. alec is a steady, careful guy; when he falls, he falls hard and becomes an absolute imbecile but until then it kind of settles in slowly, lodges itself inside of him until its carefully in place, and he doesnt really know when it happened. honestly, i relate to that because that's how it works for me, too.

but with Magnus, it was a little different - he had closed himself off from love for centuries, and while obviously he only fell in love with alec because he was already on the pathway to recover and had been for a while now, sure and steady (alec is definitely the right person for him, but he also came at the right time, cuz if he hadnt Magnus wouldnt really be able to allow himself to give in to the obvious pull they had), breaking that kind of wall is hard and is, for many people, something that happens suddenly, all at once, like the crash of a tsunami wave; it kind of isnt there until it suddenly is, flooding out and filling you. and with magnus that's definitely what happened; he had a click moment, when suddenly his walls were down and he found himself feeling, despite himself

you can see a clear difference in how magnus treats alec in 1.04-05 and how he does in 1.06. in 1.04-05 hes flirty, yes, obviously interested, but hes doing it teasingly, playfully, confident in a way that is only possible when theres not much on the line. don't get me wrong, i dont think he was using alec or lying to him - that's not the kind of person Magnus is at all - i just think that it was harmless flirting and interest with not much at stake. he was keeping his kind of playboy, devil-may-care persona (with the exception of the moment when he told alec there was nothing to be ashamed of, because of course magnus "compulsive emotional support" bane would immediately drop the act when he sees someone struggle. ugh. and alec notices this, too, all right, he can see right through to the person magnus really is in that moment, even if he closes himself off). and that wasnt even just in front of Alec; the whole "playing hard to get, i love a challenge" thing was after alec had hung up, there was no one there, he was just talking to himself the dumb dork and it is clear there is not much at stake for him here; he isnt in love, so theres no chance of heartbreak

compare that to the way he acted during drinks with Alec in 1.06. its a completely different person. even in his posture, the way he looks at Alec and moves around him, his facial expressions, theres a softness and vulnerability that just wasnt there at any point before (did yall thank Harry Shum Jr for ur rights today? seriously the man is such a great actor his talent is unbelievable). and for magnus to allow himself to be vulnerable- well, that's big. that's what he was scared of, after all. that's what has brought him hurt and made him swear off romantic relationships for so long

and he says this; he opens up to alec, a person he barely knows, tells him a little about his past, tells Alec hes unlocked something in him. it's not harmless flirting anymore, its not just a mere pursuit of someone hes casually interested in; theres something way, way deeper going on, and this is abundantly clear throughout the whole scene and every single one of magnus' actions. magnus has fallen. this is serious now; hes feeling things he didnt even remember how to, and his entire demeanor changes.

and look, that's really important to me, okay, because i hate the whole love at first sight thing. so when i started watching sh, i was kind of turned off from malec because i was like "oh theyre gonna suddenly fall in love for no reason" but no. that's not what happened. they had attraction, and chemistry, yes, for sure, definitely, but the feelings that sparked inside of them were very much real and solid and built organically, even if quickly. malec is so powerful because their attraction and devotion to each other makes sense, and because their relationship is so trusting, happy, fun, and healthy.

so lets go to 1.06 - the defining moment, the big game changer for the both of them. i know the exact milisecond magnus falls in love - its this one

(gif isnt mine, i had it saved on my phone and dont remember who made it; if you do, please let me know so i can credit them)

bitch, you are seeing it happen!!! you're watching it, right now!! the way he looks up and his whole face changes; he goes from heavy breaths to these little puffs of air, looks up at alec in awe, and it's all over his face, the softness in his features, the open vulnerability hes showing for the very first time in the entire show - even when he was almost running out of magic, he still looked way more put together than he does in this moment; in here he is open, he has no masks, and hes absolutely soft and open and vulnerable. and you can see it dawn on him too, the realisation that he let alec in, just late enough for it to be too late. it's done. god, i cant fucking believe harry shum jr invented acting. like holy shit, dude

and alec sees it too; in this moment he looks down and he sees the vulnerability in magnus' face and he knows this is the real magnus; that's what he looks like without all the walls and masks, and it's just- beautiful. incredible. you can see the love and the softness inside of him and it's just so easy to find a home in those eyes of his, and ugh, i might be changing my mind, this was the moment alec fell in love too

but anygays, why now, right? what was the big gamechanger in this scene?

well, first of all, id like to stress again, just for good measure, that magnus was already well on his path to recovery from abuse and beginning to open up again; his journey through finding self love and strength to stand on his own feet and be able to open himself for others is his and his alone. alec could be his perfect match (and he is) (fuck it i dont care they are perfect for each other, i never really thought there was such a thing even in fictional couples but shit dude they really are as perfect as it gets, malec truly invented love its unbelievable) and it still wouldnt matter if magnus wasnt ready not only to open up, but to get in a relationship as his own person, and not putting himself down like with camille. of course, he still has a long way to go, and recovery is not a straight line, so he still does things like not tell him when hes hurt and downplay his own pain so as not to "annoy" him or whatever, but he is on equal ground. the very first thing that happens when they finally get together (after the whole wedding ordeal) is, they fight. because alec was being an asshole and treated magnus badly and was really rude and magnus was hurt and he was tired of always being the one to chase after Alec, and he told him that. that's extremely important, because it establishes that Magnus isnt just running after Alec or doing anything for him - he wants a mutually fulfilling relationship and hes willing to fight for it, demand it, not accept less than it. and that's fucking recovery right here, folks. it's so hard for previously abused people to do that. so hard. it still is hard for him, but hes doing it. so, again: Magnus' journey to opening up and finding space for a healthy relationship in his life is his and his alone. and they were lucky as shit to have met when they did.

so, with that being said: 1.06 (god, this answer is such a mess, im ndjdjdidicn). you can see magnus fall in love, right then and there. the moment it happens: when he falls, and realises Alec is still holding him, making sure hes steady. not just that, but holding his hand (despite that being totally unnecessary now), and asking him if he's okay.

it's really unsubtle symbolism (and i mean that in the best possible way): Alec holding him when he fell symbolizes support; holding his hand symbolizes caring, because he could just hold him as to not let him fall, but the fact that hes holding his hand shows that hes trying to support him not just physically, but emotionally; and asking if hes okay shows genuine worry and desire to listen to his needs. again, really unsubtle; but fuck it, that's also part of what makes it powerful, because when was the last time magnus had that, that open caring and supporting and reaching out for him? i mean, obviously Magnus has his friends who are amazing and great to him, but this feeling, of being cared for, so easily, so openly, so obviously, from someone who barely knows him, hell, from a shadowhunter - this is new. both because he hasnt really allowed it - after all, you need to fall for someone to catch you - and because he just. hasnt had that. every time before, when he showed vulnerability, he had his wounds open wide and used against him - with asmodeus after his mom, with Camille after whatever happened that made him consider suicide. and then suddenly this guy shows up, and Magnus didnt even mean to be vulnerable in front of him, not really, he was supposed to hold it, but he does and what he finds is just- caring. worrying. sweetness. a grounding presence and touch. alec is completely focused on him, and isnt rushing him to get back on his feet or anything - hes just holding him and being there for him. he wasnt even looking for it, and suddenly there it is - that trust and reciprocity hed been craving for so long.

and yeah, its unsubtle, but that's also there in more subtle ways; magnus asks for his help, and alec comes without questioning, even if he's mad with pretty much everyone involved. he asks Alec to give him his strength, and he does, openly, without walls - dude, that is so intimate, and you can see how easily the magic flows between them; that's something that can only happen so smoothly if the required trust is given without a second thought. alec is giving his life force to this guy, whom he barely knows, and he doesnt hold back at all - Magnus needs it, he gives it. easy, simple. trusting. an open, clear connection. hes worried about Magnus from the start; he gets in and his first reaction is yelling for magnus and kneeling beside him to make sure hes okay. hes already kind of holding magnus even before magnus falls; he puts himself in a position where hes kind of supporting magnus' weight, and just focuses on giving magnus what he needs. up to this point no one even bothered to ask magnus what he needs. and look, Alec isnt perfect, and he definitely still has his prejudices and ignorance at this point, but this is something special. having someone just give it their all to make sure ur okay, from the get-go, trusting you like that- that's not everyday. specially not for magnus. I think maybe Magnus wouldnt even have lowered his guard enough to have that stumble if Alec hadnt been so easily showing him hes in there together with him, as equals, without so much as a second thought- magnus' persona is polished. hes been through worse without stumbling both before and after. his guard was already down, because Alec had been showing himself to be trustworthy from the start.

and after that, it just keeps going. alec helps him clean up his apartment, without being asked, long after everyone else has already gone - he listens to Magnus talk about his past, attentively, without judgement. he even shows some vulnerability of his own - that fucked-stupid smile when magnus raised his hand to his lips, the glances he throws magnus' way, the way he even manages to talk a bit about his insecurities and confusion; hes opening himself up to Magnus, too. hes smitten. hes interested. the connection is established. he stays the night, and they end up talking all night long, despite the fact that Alec was called to work, and we dont even know about what. we know they are similarly competitive and have a good chemistry, so clearly this was a good, fun talk; but theres something running way deeper in there, too. magnus is showing alec a lot of himself, and alec is not only welcoming it, but reciprocating it as best as he can. that moment of spark isnt gone; it keeps growing, the bond that was formed gets stronger. at this point, Magnus has fallen (i firmly believe that he fell in that exact moment he looked up at Alec) but it gains shape and strength during that night and talk; its a little frustrating because Alec cant face what he wants, but the pull is real and strong enough for it to get stronger, the shapes clearer.

so- yeah. Magnus fell for Alec in 1.06, the moment he realised that he was willing to have his back, to see him as he was and welcome it and treat it with care; and to give him back in return. Magnus fell for Alec when he realised that, somehow, he had already formed the beginnings of a bond with him - the kind that's solid, that means trust and care and effort while also being easy, fun, nice. alec fell for magnus when he looked at him and saw someone that was also struggling with showing who he was, but who wasnt scared; someone who was kind, and good, and willing to listen to him and try to help him and who valued him. and that is so. fucking. important.

#ask #pastaownsmylife #sorry i got a little carried away but lets be real we all knew it would happen #im emo im dying squirtle #sh #shadowhunters #malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #meta #malec meta #magnus bane meta #sh meta #overflowing trashcan

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midoriyaizukustan-inactive · 5 years ago

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everyone shut the fuck up and CONSIDER trans girl iida

she supposes she always knew unconsciously that there was something different about her but she never rlly put much thought into it until some ppl in the class come out as trans* (like aoyama’s genderfluid, tokoyami’s a demiboy, nd tsu and jirou are trans girls)

and as class rep, but also (and arguably more importantly) their friends, iida wants to make sure she can make them as comfortable as possible abt coming out so she does some research nd stuff. like she knew trans people existed and were valid nd such before but she wanted to get more than just the basic facts

and shes happy for her friends! shes glad they trusted their class enough to tell them, shes glad she can be there for them. but she also notices that she feels rlly...weird? and she keeps doing research just because.......its interesting. but she doesnt know why she finds it so interesting?? and she gets kinda insecure abt that

so she keeps diggin into it and reads posts that trans ppl have made abt their experiences and just classic shitposts nd all that. she thinks the community is great!! and also she finds some fresh wholesome memes to share w her friends so its all the better. right?

but eventually she finds a community of trans girls specifically and she just absolutely COMBS through that. reads every single post there that she can find. but coincidentally she also feels even more insecure now bc shes starting to unconsciously question her gender nd stuff and lets be real folks. an identity crisis is not fun

couple this with the fact that she doesnt experience the traditional dysphoria(tm) that other trans girls seem to universally share, iida gets rlly down abt it. nd it gets to the point she rlly raaaaags on herself for still lookin thro these posts nd stuff and still subtly questioning herself and shes just rlly unhappy at the time :[

nd she doesnt wanna like make tsu or jirou uncomfortable so she doesnt wanna ask them abt it but shes so confused nd frankly hurt and she doesnt know what going oooonnnn with herself

so shes just in this complete funk for a while nd it starts to affect her grades and performance in training. her friends know smths up but iida doesnt know how to even explain how shes feeling so its not necessarily that she doesnt WANT to go to her friends but she literally does not know how to. anyway eventually aizawa keeps her after class and is like “ok iida smths up im gonna call tensei if u dont talk to me”

iida feels absolute HORROR at the prospect of tensei somehow finding out abt this bc oh shit what if he doesnt want her carrying on the name of ingenium anymore??? what if he thinks shes a freak??? what if he thinks shes not really a girl and shes just faking it to be special?? what if- and oh shit thats the first time iida rlly consciously thought to herself “im a girl but what if others dont think i am?”

so she kinda bursts into tears and aizawa internally is like “oh jesus what the fuck” but externally hes like “iida?? r u ok?? was it something i said?? oh fuu- is something wrong with tensei??” and iida just kinda speaks thro her cries like “no nothings wrong with tensei something’s wrong with me” and ill be real folks its real sad girl hours for a bit

anyway iida doesnt rlly elaborate much beyond that bc shes so ashamed and embarrassed but aizawa is like “u’ve gotta talk to someone iida ur friends r worried and frankly i am as well” and iida eventually promises to talk to someone

soo she comes to terms that since she so confused it would be best to ask tsu and jirou abt it even if shes,,,,so v concerned,,,abt making them uncomfortable. but she manages to convince herself that she rlly does need some guidance here and better to ask ppl who know her than ask on the internet sooo

thankfully while iida is working up the courage to ask tsu and jirou to talk, she finds posts derailing terf and truscum shit so she feels. a lot lot better abt everything but particularly the lack of any intense dysphoria she had after reading stuff like that, esp the more verified(tm) articles from the more verified(tm) authors (like doctors and psychoneurologists and such)

so she figures out how she wants to word her questions nd asks tsu nd jirou to meet up. tsu nd jirou agree right away bc all of class 1-a is worried abt their class rep at this point :[ so theyre happy shes finally reaching out

iida is kinda a disaster when tryin to talk but she gets her point across. like “uhh this is a rlly bad way to ask but how did u guys know u were,,,trans?” nd tsu immediately catches on but jirou is only a lil suspicious until further into the conversation

anyway eventually jirou catches on the same as tsu and thats when tsu asks “iida do u think ur trans??”

nd iida is sooooooooo tired of feeling ashamed bc damn. she does think shes trans! she does. she shouldnt feel guilty for how she feels she cant help that. so after takin a moment to steel herself she says “yea” as confidently as one can in the situation

tsu nd jirou r immediately supportive nd ask iida for more details abt how shes feeling nd iida is just,,,so happy,, since shes already on an honesty streak that afternoon, shes able to roughly get her wack emotions into words nd tsu and jirou are like “yea thats valid ur valid iida. it doesnt matter if u dont have the trademark dysphoria or that u didnt know until later in life like ur still young. u say ur a girl, ur a girl” iida cries but only a bit bc damn months of agonizing over this. we stan one trans girl trio.........

anyway tsu and jirou ask her how she wants to move forward i.e. transitioning or telling anyone, and iida hadnt even considered transitioning before bc it felt so out of reach but shes absolutely ECSTATIC at the thought of bein able to look more feminine and it Shows. tsu and jirou r like “ok mood we were like that too right before startin estrogen”

so the first unofficial trans girl trio club meeting ends w tsu and jirou promising to help iida ask recovery girl abt hormones and iida sayin she doesnt want to come out just yet to the class/anyone else in general and tsu and jirou respectin that. i love them yall

anyway after a few months, iida is ready to try hormone treatment so tsu and jirou help her ask recovery girl for a meeting nd r moral support for her while they go thro the process of like figuring out what dosage she should start w/, how long should she take it, when a check up appointment should be, if recovery girl should tell iida’s parents yet or nah, all that stuff. anyway after that, recovery girl gets her started on hormone treatment which iida is SUPER EXCITED abt and tsu and jirou tell her stories abt when they first started estrogen and AHHH I LOVE MY GIRLS SO MUCH FUCK

anyway eventually after some support from tsu and jirou via the unofficial trans girl club meetings and getting back on her feet confidence-wise, iida comes out to the class :,,,]]] theyre all super supportive and iida cries just a bit. tsu and jirou r so proud of her. aizawa is just glad his problem child #9 is feeling better

ashido and yaoyorozu get together and take iida shopping so she can have more feminine clothes which iida has a lot of fun w......shes never been necessarily big on shopping before (even if she is a part of the rich kid’s club lmao) but this trip is so EXCITING and ashido and momo r so happy for her and so ESCATIC to help her find some clothes and just oh my heart.......

the girls also have a sleepover during which they indoctrinate iida on all things traditionally feminine like makeup nd hair so that she knows the basics should she ever wanna mess arnd with that stuff. but also they just have fun doin normal things and just include iida in on being one of the gals nd iida is,,,so happy. tsu and jirou in particular r arnd her the whole night and wow my uwus they own them the unofficial trans girl club owns my uwus-

anyway so coming out and being accepted and transitioning is going so much better than iida thought it would be. she feels so safe and happy im crying.....anyway eventually some time later iida also gets permission to visit her family during a long weekend/short holiday w/e. nd while there she shakily but steadily comes out to her fam ofc her parents r so proud (her mom’s like ‘’ive always wanted a daughter yes!!! ily tenya’’) and tensei loves her all the same nd she cries a lil bit bc damn,,,,,,shes been fearing the exact opposite reaction for months

specifically she talks to tensei abt it for a little while and mentions her particular fears abt not being good enough to carry on the name “ingenium” nd he smiles at her nd is like “i would rather no one else but my little sister to carry on the name of ingenium” and bruh shes absolutely floored

nd yea. midoriya and uraraka absolutely love love love iida shes still their absolute fav. she joins the unofficial class 1-a trans* club as well as accidentally forms the unofficial class 1-a trans girl club. we love her,,,,

but yeah thats it. this post is so fucking long but oh well. stan iida!

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withallthingslove · 5 years ago

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the handmaid’s tale s3ep5 thoughts

PUTTING THEM OUT A DAY EARLY BECAUSE IM SO EXCITED

man just when i think im done with this show it pulls me right back in lol (okay I wasn’t actually done I just was annoyed)

baby holly is so fucking cute

so fucking cute

but man was i annoyed at the beginning of the episode... I like(ish) luke in the way that i want him to be written better and just want to be able to root for him and his story. But I constantly get annoyed with how he is written. Because he was kept alive in the show when he wasn’t in the book it’s like the writers dont know how to include him sometimes so he feels shoehorned into june’s thoughts. I love the story line of him raising holly, but then to have the opening be june talking about how much she misses being held and called june as if nick who she loves didnt do that.... it reminded me of in season 2 when june hadnt thought of luke at all and didnt want to leave nick and then suddenly in episode 9 when luke was the main focus of the episode then june thinks of him. It feels like a cop out and the writers being like “oh time to remind viewers june loves luke because we forget about him until now”

and this isn’t anything against luke. i 100% believe june loves him with all her heart. no question. but it’s like the writers think we are dumb and can’t realize that june can still love luke and their memories while also loving nick in the present. So they waste a monologue of june’s voiceover reminding us that she was married

i told you bitches serena was gonna backslide

I fucking told you

jdfghreuijgrew

if anything this demonstrates that june is a selfless mother and serena is just fucking selfish. her one good deed of letting holly go is nothing compared to june as a mother. june fucking told her seeing holly would not do any good, and she of all people knows that considering HANNAH WAS TAKEN FROM HER. but serena is delusional and she thinks its her right to go see june’s kid and june’s husband while june is stuck in gilead

that phone call with luke.... MY HEART. luke fully expressing his emotion and june trying to keep her’s in.... the utter love they have for each other to this day. one plus of this season is luke finally getting emotional moments. it’s about time

i think lawrence felt really bad for june. he says he doesn’t like her but he clearly does a little bit. the way he silently offered a handkerchief and the way he looked at her after the call ended... you could see the wheels turning in his head like “this is fucked up and i cant really do anything to help her”

tuello looking fine as always

i told one of my friends the other day that while serena sucks and she doesnt deserve love i do want her to just fuck tuello. And I said that since serena is fertile and it’s fred that is sterile she should just go have a baby with him instead. And idk if its my bias to that possible story line or what but i feel like this episode kind of hinted at that? tuello again offered her a way out of gilead and i mean... they’re both hot people and they want this show dragging on for 7 more seasons so they gotta do something

after this encounter though i stan luke

the way he said “fuck you” to serena

the way he did not give her the satisfaction of playing into her delusion

WE STAN AN ICON

when serena very angrily went “i protected your wife” and luke went “what did you say?” .... where was serena going with that?

because she literally held june down while she was raped including when she was pregnant.... that is not protecting her. has she somehow wiped s2ep10 from her memory???

the only two things I could think of was either serena arranging for nick and june to sleep together (lol as if they wouldnt have anyway) and then keeping holly’s parentage a secret, or her covering for holly’s escape and june’s reassignment. If anyone else has any ideas about what that line meant feel free to reply or hit up my ask box because I wasn’t sure how to interpret it. But I interpreted luke’s reaction as either “wait what did she need protecting from?” or “shut up you are the reason she is in danger”

luke was too good for letting serena hold holly and that scene was gross... serena is NOT her mom she’s just a delusional and selfish woman

watching her cry... im supposed to feel sorry for that bitch???? I dont

as soon as fred said “it doesnt have to be” i looked into an imaginary camera like here we fucking go

at first i thought the gift for luke from june was just going to be music to remind him of her but omg

omg

I knew luke was going to find out that holly is nick’s child eventually based on cast interviews

but

fjrgfhrewfjkrhfkfdjrf

i have so many thoughts on that recorded message and kind of blacked out when i realized what she was going to say. and then she said even more than i thought she would

1. june is so fucking mature. your protagonist could never

2. seriously june articulates everything so well. obviously she is ashamed that she fell in love with someone else and has conflicting feelings about loving two people. and I think it’s so great that she acknowledged that

3. she encouraged luke to move on. that’s.... really big of her. i think june at this point has resigned herself to dying in gilead. But she also tells luke that she is not the same person anymore, and that she had to make a life for herself in gilead. Which is you read any of my posts/anon replies IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN SAYING FOR 2 YEARS. Luke and june obviously love each other SOOOO much. But i think luke has been a bit more daydreamy in his thinking of being reunited while june has always been a realist. that’s why she has survived in gilead for so long

4. SHE SAID NICHOLE’S REAL NAME IS HOLLY. THANK FUCKING YOU. now we can drop the bs of nichole lol

5. She said Holly was born out of love. LOVE. And told Luke Nick’s name. NICK AND JUNE ARE HOLLY’S PARENTS. AND THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. THE WRITERS SAID NICKxJUNE RIGHTS. I have been waiting for this admittance for 5 fucking episodes because we spent so much time on serena bullshit

6. She admitted the reason she stayed was to find Hannah and try and get her out and then told luke she loved him

7. Luke’s reaction... that had to be so hard for him to hear. But at the end of the day I think it’s better to know that than to keep thinking holly is the product of rape. And that’s why june wanted him to know. Holly’s history and her true parentage are important. And I think luke’s reaction was so human and heartbreaking, but the fact luke can take care of holly i think he can have it in his heart to accept what june is saying and not resent her

aight so june’s shopping partner.... not really sure what to make of that scene. She seemed to be in shock. And so much softer than we are used to seeing and I felt like that was a hint to her true personality. But who knows

fyi in case you guys forgot... the waterfords suck ESPECIALLY SERENA

#the handmaid's tale #the handmaid's tale spoilers #june osborne #nick blaine #nick x june #elisabeth moss #max minghella #yvonne strahovski #serena joy waterford #fred waterford #joseph fiennes #luke bankole #o-t fagbenle #june x luke #tht #tht spoilers #handmaid's tale #hulk #mine

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my-name-is-moss · 4 years ago

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The long Road to a good wellbeing.

(I’m sorry this is so long, TLDR will be at bottom. I appreciate your choice if you choose to read this whole thing or not.)

Note: This ones for all the people that are dealing with emotional trauma and are looking for someone to relate to.

Warning: This has touchy subjects, so please, if you dont like reading about su*cide, a*use, self harm and topics in a similar realm, then please skip.

It’s ok to not be accepting of your flaws or love yourself because that’s a natural thought process. It takes a long time to feel just ok at times. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help. Don’t be ashamed if you need medical and/or mental aid. Some people need to be perscribed meds to feel ok and/or to mediate mental/physical issues and it’s a valid necessity. Some people might need/turn to therapy. Some people might need both. Thats just how life is sometimes. Self improvement is self improvement and it’s good to get help like therapy or perscribed medication.

The point is that it takes time to come to terms with your feelings. Life isn’t just stark and bland, it’s a complex puzzle that is hard to solve. You can’t just be happy and emotionally stable in a day, that isn’t how mentally stability and having a helthy mindset works. It takes a long time to pick youself up and find balance and peace. Even though some may end their lives and/or not live long enough to find happyness and love, accept their flaws, and open up to people; it’s a long an agonizing road full of twists, turns, pitfalls, spikes, and may other things.

I have personally felt like I was unimportant and coudn’t admit my flaws to myself. I’ve been told and I have told myself that I’m worthless and can’t do anything right throughout my whole life. In my darkest moments I wanted to either self harm to feel something or end myself. Most of that comes from childhood trauma from being verbally abused, gaslighted, and emotionally manipulated.

Up till recently, senior year High school, I had a hard time accepting the fact that I’m a person that makes mistakes and that it’s hard for me to open up to others. It was and is still hard for me because I’m scared of what people will think of me, what people will think of my insecurities, how people will see me if they knew the real me. I still worry if somone will hate me or not accept me if I open up to them.

Just a few weeks ago, I finally felt what it was like to love myself and accept my insecurities for the first time. After about 10 years of self hatred and beating myself down, I’ve finally healed enough to get a chance to spread my wings and fly. I finally know what it’s like to not cage myself up in self hatred. My whole view of myself has changed, yet I still have a long way to go. I still have to learn how to be vunerable around and open up to other people.

I’m finally ready to take my first steps to letting people see the real me, to see me in my real and vulnerable form this post is the first step to that goal. Writing this is cathartic and nice to get off my chest. I just wanted to let you know that taking your time to heal from trauma may be a long process, but taking time to cope and opening up to others on your own time is worth it. Even though we may have different stories and I’m just another anonymous person with a blog, all I care about is that you know you arent alone.

The best wisdom I can give you is: The scars of trauma fade ever so slowly with time leaving you with painful memories and the knowledge of your pain. Self hatred will loom over you like a cloud, but that fades in the same slow way. On the long forked road of trauma, self hatred, and pain; thinking your alone in yor pain is the worst part of the trip.

TLDR: Emotional healing is a long road and I know this is cheasy and you might hear it all the time, but from a victim of abuse, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. It doesnt matter who you are and what you Identify as because I believe you can do it and I support you.

#emotional trauma #The road to recovery is a long one #I'm proud of you for just existing because it can be hard sometimes #i cried while writing this #I believe in you #Just want you to know that I love you and want you to be happy someday.#I may be an internet stranger and this may not mean much but I believe that you're an awesome person #the frog of emotional strength believes in you #If you think nobody wants you then your wrong I want you #I'm proud of you #I'm so proud of you for being yourself #no matter your gender identity or sexuality just know that I love and support you

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irenerei-n-svt · 5 years ago

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FLOWER

(Part 1)

So i am retconning my JeonghanxJoshua omegaverse. Dont worry the setting is still the same just some setting and plot different

• On my Omegaverse. They only get to know their 2nd gender on their 18 birthday. But also will have late bloomer (like Jihoon seen in MingyuxJihoon )

• They were close ever since they met. Jeonghan was the one approached first and being really nice with Jisoo

• Occasionally teasing Jisoo by teaching him weird Korean making other people laughs at him (of course Jeonghan will properly apologise)

• The reason is also because Jeonghan likes it when Jisoo just innocently listens to him. Even though Hansol also teaches Jisoo Korean as well.

• Jisoo, after a while he got fond of Jeonghan, looks up at him actually. Jisoo appreciated Jeonghan's enthusiasms and effort to practise and sing. While Jeonghan dotes on Jisoo and proud of Jisoo being multilingual.

• Them being fond with each other, hugs, back hugs, hair ruffles, gazes. Of course is just Jeonghan being affectionate and Jisoo accepted it because he was brought up at western so he could tolerate it better.

• Jisoo would just follow Jeonghan anywhere lol. They find it funny too because its always happens naturally.

• Jisoo looks up at Jeonghan and Seungcheol even more when they find out they are Alphas.

• Jisoo being the 3rd hyung also hope that he could alpha so that it will stable the team even more.

• Male omega in this au is not that rare actually. People are already accepting and dropping weird stereotypes. So omega can work properly as well because of new type of meds. But only heat period is just something cannot be undone.

• Due to the culture history, there are still some stereotype of AlphaxAlpha, even though in this universe, people don't really care much. (Unless u are from upper class or royalty. Or you being a traditional minded person.)

• So times comes where doctor comes to check when Jisoo fully becomes 18 years old.

• Jisoo is nervous, Seungcheol and Jeonghan are close during blood test

• But during consultation, its a private time so Seungcheol and Jeonghan did not get to join in.

• This is when doctor revealed to Jisoo that he is an Omega.

• When Jisoo knew the news he froze.

• For some reasons, he felt devastated and ashamed. He felt he does not deserve to stand beside his team mate, even Jeonghan.

• Jisoo was the first omega to get known to his results. Thats why he got panicked. He is afraid if he will drag down the team quality.

• He felt he was different from them. And the emotions grows extremely in short term.

• With weird sense of stubbornness, he was determined to not let the others, not even Jeonghan to know about his gender.

• He lied to members and researched. He even went to get medicine without telling members. His family supported him from behind. The medicne is legal and it helps to suppress to not give off omega scent

• But

• Actually Vernon caught him went out at night. Vernon just wanna have some snacks from fridge and end up seeing Jisoo returning from outside with the meds.

• Jisoo lied that he felt feverish so he went to get some vitamins and antibiotic

• Vernon be like oh ok cool.

• Condition is bearable so Jisoo hope to keep it a secret as long as he could.

• BUT What hit Jisoo was when svt members gathered and talk about gender preferences for love interest

• (to be meta i mean kids/human does make mistake, and mind you i am not writing this to lowkey racist/sexist, they talked about it because they just pure curious but then they stopped doing it ever since because they noticed the topic is sensitive and offensive)

• Jeonghan when the kids asked hin about his partner preferences : well i will be grateful if my partner is an Alpha too...

• Jisoo who is sitting other side strumming his guitar eventually heard it and was flushed with unknown emotions. He just quietly puts down the guitar and leaves.

• Jeonghan noticed Jisoo's emotion aura change as he sees him leaving.

• But Jeonghan did not finished his words actually and Jisoo did not get to hear it.

• Jeonghan, S.coups and Vernon also was the ones to suggest they should not be talking about gender preferences anymore and the boys agreed (because they are a jumble of alphas betas and omegas)

• The other 2 of 95line come together and tried to express apology to Jisoo. (Lol they did not know what was the real reason)

• They thought is because of Jisoo's Western upbringing he is more sensitive about this because it might sounds offensive to foreigners.

• Jisoo would just say he is fine, because they are all curious on stuffs like this so he does not fully blame them for having the conversation. Jisoo thanked them for being considerate.

• But from then on, Jisoo distanced himself from Jeonghan which Jeonghan felt really weird.

• Jun probably : Jeonghan hyung why is Jisoo hyung avoiding you like he'd saw a ghost?

• Jeonghan awkwardly laughs

• Seungcheol : must have been you playing a weird prank on him

• Cues in Jeonghan slapping Seungcheol on his shoulders.

• Mingyu probably : but Jisoo hyung was acting weird ever since his birthday right?

• Jun : I do see Jisoo hyung tends to stick with Vernon though

• Jeonghan : You are quite right tho.

• Detective Jeonghan starts to think and observe. He can wait for answers but it must be from Jisoo himself

• Vernon probably : Josh hyung, why is Jeonghan hyung looking at us like that?

• Jisoo : Don't mind him.

• Cues in Jun who secretly asks Jisoo and check out if he is ok.

• Cues in Jun worried look in his big big eyes

• Jun : Hyung, was the gender test that scary?

• Jisoo then realises his action recently might have projected insecurities so he just smiles at Jun. Stating the gender test is fine, everything is healthy.

• Jisoo : Don't worry Junnie, I am fine. I am just tired.

• Cues in Jun who just quietly hugs Jisoo.

• It lasted about a month until Jisoo finally has his first heat.

• He woke up with slight fever and his actions got slower

• It was during practise and Jisoo suddenly felt a burst of heat from his body

• He hurrily rushed out from the practise room. And ran to washroom.

• The only thing in Jisoo's mind : I have to cool this heat off

• Meanwhile, Jisoo's scent actually flooded the practise room before he ran out.

• It triggers Seungcheol, Jeonghan, Mingyu and Wonwoo ( I have established in before Mingyu and Wonwoo are early bloomers, not yet have rut before 18 but they already showing alpha traits)

• The kids who are not aware of the reasons well were scared.

• Jeonghan yelled at the others to ran out even ask them to ran back to dorm first

• Seungcheol asked Jun to go to adults and claimed that they will lock themselves in.

• But before that happen, Jeonghan rushed out before anyone realised.

• Jeonghan felt the scent is calling him and luring him to Jisoo.

• Apart from a weird heat emerging from his core, Jeonghan also heavily felt the urge to protect Jisoo at all cost. Before other alphas could find Jisoo.

• Jeonghan murmuring while following Jisoo's scent : Please be safe, Jisoo-ah

• And Jisoo now is having a cold water head shower. He buries his head under the tap and keep hoping water will calm him down. He has already taken meds but it does not seems to be effective yet

• But he could feel a scent coming near and he begged for his heat to go away

• Then he heard someone calling out his name

• Its Jeonghan panting after all the running

• Jisoo then remembered all sorts of things, how the doctor told him about outcomes of omega male in heat if some untamed alpha assaulted them.

• And he remembered he does not want Jeonghan to know his omega gender

• And Jeonghan is an alpha standing in front of him. And drawing himself closer towards oneself.

• Jisoo panicked, backed his away and tried to lock himself into toilet cubicle

• But was stopped by Jeonghan and Jeonghan grabbed Jisoo's wrist

• This is the first time Jeonghan really really exploded and shouted at Jisoo.

• Jeonghan : Ya, Hong Jisoo, what did I do to make you hate me this much? You could at least let me know it!!

• The moment Jeonghan grabbed Jisoo's wrist, he felt a weird electricity ran through his body.

• Jeonghan unaware of Jisoo is overwhelmed by new experiences, and was driven by worriness and his alpha instinct, kept on prying : Have you been stressing yourself about this since your birthday?!

• Could not cope with all the unfamilar sensations, Jisoo in tears, tried to shake off the firm grip. He could only whimpered "Please"

• Jisoo : anyone but you

• It made Jeonghan ticked

• Jeonghan : Do you hate me this much?

• Jisoo just kept quiet and shook his head. He felt the him now is disgusting and unfit to be with a SVT . Unfit being a friend to Jeonghan as well.

• Jeonghan knew they could not stay alone like this.

• He also knew if they stayed longer, and looking at Jisoo's crying face with his whimpering voice, Jeonghan will definitely lose it.

• Jeonghan pulled Jisoo up and they both are ready to run. Lucky the nurse already sensed things are off and already rushed to where the 2 boys were.

• The nurse just finished took care of the other alpha boys that locked themselves in. And Seungcheol told the nurse Jeonghan and Jisoo are still out there, so the nurse went to find them.

• Jeonghan hurriedly back off once he saw the nurse. Letting Jisoo to get attentive care first.

• After Jeonghan got his suppressant injection. He is more calmer now. He helped the nurse to get Jisoo to infirmary. And later go check up Seungcheol with the others.

• The other boys are calmer too and they are worried about Jisoo too

• After confirmed Jisoo is now safe they went home. Apologised for scaring the other kids.

• The whole team now realised its not gonna be like before anymore. There will be more omegas and even betas. They need to work things out.

• Jeonghan speculated Jisoo's off character behaviour might be due to finding out himself is an omega.

• Seungkwan: Why he did not tell us?

• Jeonghan: He is scared. And scared to ask for help. As if we will push him away if he told us.

• Seungcheol: Abandoning anyone is not an option here

• Jeonghan looks at Seungcheol in grateful eyes.

• Jeonghan : Thank you Seungcheol-ah

• Seungcheol just pats Jeonghan on his back.

• That night they decided to embrace everyone's gender and in the future, no more hiding.

Is late now so i better stop now

#seventeen omegaverse #omegaverse au #omegaverse #omegaverse headcanon #omegaverse heacanons #Jeonghan x Jisoo #flower #Jeonghan #Jisoo #yoon jeonghan #hong jisoo #joshua hong

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batdaddies · 6 years ago

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Madreperola

warnings: explicit content, violence

pairing: orm x reader

about: im rusty, been AGES since my last time writing, tried to post this into orm tag for three times now, hope now works, after you are done and still want more, leave a prompt at my askbox, i need some more orm around, patrick wilson killed and now i should write kinky smuts about the ex-king of atlantis, this is not that kinky yet, kinda wanted, kinda dont, whatever, the whole Y/N looks funny because I made it into a scenario in an extra page on my tumblr that you can actually insert your name into it, but it wasnt working so yeah, i just wanted to post it so i can write another one. You are not a surface dweller, you are a badass atlantis warrior, a lot of canon made by myself, sorry. Enjoy!

MADREPÉROLA - MOTHER OF PEARLS

Orm is made out of duties, ideas, strength, pain and pieces of a man who once thought he could die alone.

EYES

They were cheering, loud within the dense water, they had music, excited with drums and bubbles around the instruments. Atlantis was painted of those sparkling jellyfishes all around, all the citizens with hands up, waving. Happiness was a strange feeling, how deeply it was, he had been going around for some minutes now, and everytime his eyes flashed around the faces of his people, the smiles were pure, how could they not notice the way his father’s hand on his mother was a little too hard? Were they not seeing through, was it too dark? How could they not see their smiles didn’t match their eyes?

He could sense on his skin, the hair on his arms, right under his royal armour, his hands holding the ropes with a tiny shake. The image of his mother yelling, back and forth with his father had been disturbing; he could hear from the corridor, a strong impulse and he was by the door, opening just to see her beautiful form on the floor, the silver trident on her hands, pointing into his father’s neck, who had his own trident against her belly. They all shared a quiet stare between, his mother soon being the first to give up, she had called his name, throwing the trident behind her, a sign of peace for the time, she didn’t try to explain anything, instead her long arms circulated his torso with care, love. But he was stuck with the situation, with his parents obviously fighting, hard, to the point of fists. His father spoke first.

“Tell him, Atlanta,” the voice husky, dark, capable of investing fear in any being under the seas. The wrinkles on his eyes showed the age, showed the tiredness, the madness, and the hard pupils, they were black unlike his own, his traces only from his mother. A trembling hand came for his mother's back, holding her to protect her, to protect both, specially himself from that tone. “Tell him about your time in the surface…”

His mother pulled him out of the room in that same minute, feet pushing the water, mouth rushing his concerns, not that she actually could, however she tried, whispered what she normally did. Don’t listen to your father. You know he is out of his mind. I love you so much. A help with his hair, a kiss on his head, and they were separated for the parade. He watched his father soon joining him with the soldiers behind, the tridents on hands, watched how he whispered something into her ear before impulsing her trident to her hand so she could have, they all sat down on the animals. He had a shark for once he was young, small, only a prince. His father and mother in front of him, on a pedestal on top of a tylosaurus.

The parade was for pride, the kingdoms together for the solemn purpose of existing after the Great Fall. The royal families, the respected generals and war heros, all lined up to celebrate another year. Atlantis was first of course, the Xebellians behind, followed by the Fishermen, and the Brine. The occasion was peaceful, for what Orm wasn’t in peace at all, he wasn’t a man yet, couldn’t understand the factors of marriage, couldn’t let go of the incident, he was smiling at least, because at some point his father turned behind to take a look, and his lips moved. Smile. As his king wished, he did, an order he wasn’t exactly fulfilling, the white teeth where showing, his mouth opened, but it was crooked, and fake. So lost inside his own head, inside his own thoughts.

Focus! Focus! The voice inside yelled at himself, what kind of Prince he would be if he couldn’t complete his duty? When he finally took his eyes off his father’s grip on his mother’s hands, they averted to the side, searching on the crowd a will to go through all that. All the faces, all the shouts. Nothing. He felt nothing. Until his head moved up, and there, far away, on the higher platform for important, high-borns families, on the privilege views. Someone who had the same serious face as him, unbothered gaze, hair swimming, adorning the shape of her cheeks like a crown with a gold ornament on the side, the lips closed on the rigid line of her jawline. She wore purple and suited her well.

Orm tried to recall when he had seen her before, failing. A strange face. But she was sitting somewhere he would known everybody. By the sides, a man and a woman, he also tried to recall their faces, nothing yet. She entertained his stare until the platform was left behind, until his neck couldn’t turn anymore to watch her.

Seemed there were actually two sad atlanteans that day.

EARS

Once, the worst part of his birthdays was his mother, not herself. Not her caring, soft hands, or her hugs, or kisses. Not her smile. Not her blue eyes. Not the blond hair swinging in the entire room in pretty waves. Her absence. The first year without her presence was disturbing, the second was awful, and the third was fading. It was a shame to say, Orm didn’t remember her that well, now. Some years had passed, along memories, and longing. Sometimes he was ashamed to say he didn’t think of her that much, the grieving had a funny way with him, he was locked away in his own room for days, yet no tears. His father had kept the secret until the very last moment, he didn’t know what was happening until the trench was close enough, besides the entire kingdom knowing, he was oblivious, seemed his father had even funnier ways to mess with him.

Forced to look, forced to watch, and fight against his own mother being sacrificed, she had shouted for him, and Orm had yelled back, but his father was stronger, he was right there, holding him still, hands on his biceps, face on his ears, like a spirit from the past, he felt the lips on his earlobe. A bastard. He stopped immediately, shocked, body failing to keep fighting. The bastard. His senses numbed as she was slowly disappearing from his sight. She had a half-breed, treason.

For months, he didn’t know if he was grieving his mother, or her secret. A powerful queen like herself, to subjugate, accept, cohabit with a human… She had lost her mind, yet the more he thought about it, the more he lost his. The thin line of love, and obeying was starting to fade. The King’s speeches were beginning to make sense, the new ideas of a different future were settling right inside his brain, almost able to recite them one by one, the strongest was the King’s wish to make Orm Marius the best yet. The whole attention, devotion and energy should be spent on his training, on his lessons, on Atlantis that had been suffering with the surface for decades. It was showing then, Orm was becoming the man his father wanted him to be, who took pride on the pure-blood son one day not being only a great king, but a dangerous threat to his enemies.

That year was even decided there was no party, Orm needed to train, needed to study; the only thing it happening was people bringing gifts. He didn’t want that neither, but the King said this costum couldn’t stop, it was necessary. They needed to be spoiled, they needed to be known, to be superior. Vulko was on his right, while the King was on the throne, he was just floating in the warm water in the room, his hands together in front of his torso that was getting bigger, a shape of broad shoulders. He wasn’t small anymore, maybe still young, but not that young, not that innocent. If anything, Orm’s blue bright eyes had a colder shine, the traces on his skin starting to look more like his father than his mother.

“And this is the family of Y/L/N,” Vulko’s voice was distance, low, only for him to hear. “Their ancestors served the crown once, before the second war, they were habitating in Xebel, but decided to come back to Atlantis now the patriarch is dead.”

A woman and a girl were swimming close, stopping to greet. Who he judge as the mother was carrying a box with an aquamarine as lock, the attire of same shade, silver bracelets and a kind smile.

She was placing in front of him with the pile of many others, but he never saw her doing so, instead, he was intrigued by the weapon the daughter was holding, dark grey, utterly curvy on the edges which were five, the handle adorned by arabesques circulating until the extremes along the battle marks, seemed old, however powerful. The girl held it with a straight posture, a warrior. Different from what he reminded, but it was her, he was sure. Purple dressed her too well. The hair had four or six braids floating around her face, much like a halo, adorning the cheekbones, the still rigid jawline, and still hard lips. Her eyebrows were up high, pearls on top of them, matching the color of her eyes. And this time, the purple was tight, admitting both of them had grown up, the cleavage was revealing her popping clavicules, the extra skin of her breasts, the curves continuing to her waist, and hips. Almost a completely woman. An attractive woman.

“You bear a trident,” he stated to her, blankly, forgetting to thank for the gift. His face with no emotions, but it didn’t mean the shiver he felt in his spine wasn’t there, a trickling feeling on his skin that Orm couldn’t name it. It was somehow disrespectful, like a question, taking off her right to carry it.

Her left eyebrow lifted even higher, pearls sparkling along in shades of green, purple and yellow, the trident suffered a whirl, and a thug on the ground, sound echoing, “it belonged to my great grandfather, he fought in the war, died for Atlantis.”

The voice match her looks, daring, a reckon, the water danced on her tone, which meant she was not intimidated by him, ready to prove she was worthy of carrying it. A strong presence with a strong sound, even she was smaller than him, not passing his chest for a fact. All the lessons of reading the opponent was handy in a moment like this, her body language was of someone always alert, someone confident, her breathing was calm, indeed not caring who she was facing. The Prince Of Atlantis. She’d be a good adversary.

“Were you trained with it?” the question now didn’t have any second intentions, rather just curiosity. His face finally moved, just a curl of lips, a blink of lashes, and the feeling stopped by his neck, where his hair was standing on the ends.

“By my own father who had it before me,” she said, noticing his icy eyes were staring down at her, a little movement of her feet, floating higher to fix it. They were on the same level, in an uncomfortable silence, if any noticed, the others accompanying them were alert.

“Good,” Orm said, with a nod of his head. “One day may Atlantis need you as a soldier.”

“My honor, Your Highness,” her tongue hit the back of her upper teeth when talking, which he saw slowly, the feeling going down his shoulders, under the armour, to his hands, the tip of his fingers. It didn’t fade until she turned and left the room, legs swinging in the water with her mother by her side.

The day remained boring, nothing pleasing Orm, neither the training later, or the studies, for what his mind couldn’t stop remembering itself of a purple attire, a trident, and a ringing voice.

My honor.

My honor...

Your highness...

NOSE

The passages of his life were made of deaths, every critical decision, every choice given, every chance made only after losing a life. Queen Atlanna had been sacrificed, only then he was able to decide who he wanted to be, a traitor like his mother or a powerful king like his father, he decided to be none, to be better, to be the best in every way he could. Accomplished. The King Orvax had died, only then he was able to rise to his purpose, finally giving him the freedom of being just a Prince; the chance of serving his people, of succeeding his plans for the future. For what, Orm wanted to great, a legend perhaps, there was no insecurities for the throne, no doubts of himself, he knew he could, he knew he would, Atlantis wouldn’t know a better King.

Sometimes, Orm would even forget he was a man of needs. Yet the truth always found a way to slap his face, shouting to be recognize, yelling louder than he ever could.

It wasn’t a subject his father spoke with him about, he was just given a wife and nothing else. Mera, the xebelian. It was a deal, an arrange, and Orm had grown up with her for far too long to know he wasn’t able to love her, he could respect, offer his loyalty, be a good husband, but never love. She was beautiful, he knew, he always did, since they were kids in the adventures through the oceans, when the lights hit her just right, her long red hair waving, she was pleasing to look at, but something was lacking, something was off. Love wasn’t made of attractive faces or colorful hairs. Indeed, Orm believed he wasn’t capable of love. His biggest duty was to Atlantis, to its preservation, to its protection.

Mera felt the same, he knew. She would never love him. They had consideration for each other, it was even good on a side to have her as a future wife, he wouldn’t pretend to be somebody to gain her admiration, she wouldn’t force herself into a unhappy marriage with somebody else. At least, they were friends when young, and time only could help them to have an heir, as he hoped. Because it was issue he decided to mind after the marriage, after the ceremony, when it in fact happened, not now when they are only betrothed: touching her. She didn’t excite him. He didn’t fantasized about her. Rarely were the times he actually fantasize about a woman, even when it happened, his body curling in his bed, the water dense on his torso, thick on his lungs, and the spasms asking for it, there was not a face, or a body, it was just the feeling. Sometimes he would close his eyes and think of purple. Sometimes he would force himself to fight the feeling away.

Vulko tried to talk to him about that subject, voice taken back, an apprehension on how to approach such matters. Orm stopped him, noticing what that was about. “I am not an animal, this alone should be enough for your concerns.”

It did had a toll on him lately, when his young years were gone, and Orm was what others would call proper age. His body at its peak, his physical appearance established, and the looks it brought to him. The servants passing by, their pupils heavy under the lashes, not reaching his own gaze because that would be reaching, but piercing through the armours, on his neck, and lips. They would be intense when it was time to train, when his body was left to feel the water without barriers, they usually had his armour on hands, or food, or bars when it was time for a new lesson. His feet felt the ground under, his torso circulated in cold water, fighting. The muscles lines were changing according to his moviments, too many of them, back, abdomen, arms, chest, all the stares on him. Orm felt he was giving a show, not training. When it was time to try the bars, the servant came with a bowed body, delicate hands offering the new instruments of battle, and his hand lingered against hers to get it. She moved her head to him, the hair moving in the way, able to cover her entire face but an eye. Desire.

That night had been hard to get through, he wanted it. He needed it. Skin twisting in his bed, the water gaining a new temperature his body failed to adjust to, his neck couldn’t even shallow it properly. It was the first time desire won against him, he thought about searching for her, but what humiliation would be for a Prince around hallways, impulsing himself to seek a servant for satisfaction. He couldn’t sleep, the pain on his lower abdomen asking for release, for the torture he putted himself through, his mind didn’t focus on any other matters besides an atlantean’s body.

His journey through this path had been somewhat disturbing after that, women knowledge his presence, his beauty, his appeal of a sleek blond hair with big, blue eyes, a straight nose and a rigid jawline. He discovered what he liked as well, what made him ask for more, not many times, maybe just three or four, enough for him to be satisfied for months, or years, they were usually high-borns, discreeted, not interested in stealing him for his duty, rather having a night with Prince Orm while they could. He always felt bad after, dressing himself and his mind going for Mera, felt like a betraying act. Guilt overcame pleasure easily after.

But the ironies of life were much deeper than his oceans, even with his future wife by his side, so close to him, sensing the water running through her mouth, nose, and lungs, he couldn’t control the desire when it drowned him, it started as an impulse in the back of neck, growing into a itching on his palms, to a tightness on his stomach. The surprise made him lean forward, eyes wide, a predator watching.

She came dashing in whirls, the bubbles forming a tail behind her feet, the tip of her trident ripping the water, and she stopped, arms opening, trident rising on top of her head, the armour was composed of hard golden scales on the shoulders falling through her breasts and hips, her feet had the protection boots coming to her knees, under of course, as usual, the purple hugging her curves. The braids on her hair this time were the ones for war, from the roots of her forehead to the back where they were loose, no helmet, but a huge choker on her neck, with pointed ends curling out of her face. She shouted with the crowd, they cheered for her, they loved their champion. To savour her congratulations, the body swag around the platforms, trident in circles, everybody had their hands up, and she was rising. Until she stopped again, higher, close to the Royals.

Orm regretted missing the battles, he had better matters to attend to, but his presence in the deliver of the medal to the champion was important, only he could deliver it, when his vizier said the champion that year was a she, he never thought that she was the one, he should have known, all his years and she was the only he could recall who had a trident, and was willing to take it to battle. Also, he regretted not participating that year, he would be very pleased to fight against her, test to see what she was capable of. Of course much, for what she had won.

Closer, it was easier to see the scratches on her armour, only a glove on her right hand, the left with blood floating in tiny bubbles, the bruise on her cheek, a line of red between purple and green, but she was fenomenal, the posture straight, not losing the high class, her beauty had grow older just as his. The traces of her nose and lips were softer, those are a shade of red almost purple, and her eyes batted against the top of her cheeks in long, thick curtains of lashes, the height hasn’t improved though, still smaller, and Orm couldn’t describe exactly what he felt when she entered the platform, pushing herself to the ground, kneeling with her entire being, trident resting on both hands, and hair in waves. It was desire, so much desire the water around him became heavy, a pressure on his shoulder he hadn’t ever felt before.

“Your Highness,” she greeted still bowing for him, fulfilling his memories of her voice, Orm had dreamt of it once, or twice, perhaps more times he wanted to admit, and the electricity inside his veins almost choked his voice out to answer.

Mera or Vulko none existed by his side, or the crowd, or the cheering. Only the atlantean kneeling for her King, offering him her trident, paying her respects. Orm held the medal high, swinging his legs to stop by her front.

“My champion,” his voice was raw, and she looked up to his cold eyes, an abyss of darkness, her lips twisted, but in what he identificate as his effect on the opposite sex, and Orm knew right away he could touch her face and she would let him, but he didn’t, not because he didn’t want to, but because she had the right to obtain what she came for. His hands switched quickly and the pearls around the medal fell from her head into her neck, until it rested between the choker and the armour. “Congratulations.”

She finally stood up, and Orm had been so close, the threads of her hair waved close to his face on the movement, almost a caress on his nose, she smelled of the deep currents when they pass the lava and the texture of both were meet in the fire and water, of fresh seaweed in the old city, sweet like battle, like duty. He was private, he was against any public touch, yet the King himself drowned in that smelled and wished to take her right there, uncover her curves, learn about her flesh, and listen to the graceful music her sounds would be on the water. He didn’t fantasize, yet he was, flashing question of what she liked, of how she was once nude, if she had another men in her bed, lost in the color of her eyes, in the halo of her hair, in the fierce beauty. Behind her glory class, he also saw the imagination flowing, of him, his lips, his hands, his body.

“I must know your name,” his upper lip, slightly meatier than the lower, moved and caught her gazing. For the Gods, Orm wanted her.

“Y/N, I—” she whispered slowly, fixed on the mouth, but was interrupted by Vulko, carried the King’s trident to him, Orm woke up from the tantalizing moment when the cane was presented.

“It was one of the best battles I've ever seen,” he said, cheerful, letting the heaviness of the trident fall on Orm’s hands.

“Thank you,” she bowed again, and Orm wished she didn’t, not for anybody else, only himself.

“Go present Atlantis your medal, champion,” he sent her away with good intentions. Go feel your glory. To what she nodded, with a last look at her handsome King, heavy lids, heavy heart, then Orm smiled, a malicious manner, corner of his lips rising, no teeth, superior to all.

Y/N circulated in the ocean, the trident shining, the crowd cheering even more with the medal adorning her neck, and Orm was left with his vizier, with his betrothed, and the unspoken understatement, both knew what it meant, and it was enough. She would come back for him, he just had to wait.

That night, desired had won, and Orm didn’t fight against it, closing his lids and thinking of the smell of her hair.

MOUTH

Orm would never forget the first time he laid his lips on hers, Y/N had a tight grip on his golden armour, nails crawling up between the scales to find any piece of skin she could, it was more a press than a kiss, strong for what both wanted to feel for too long, desperated. They were soft, so soft, and so eager for him, there was no space for anything else as he held her head with his both hands, prisioning the hair between his gloves, pulling her closer if possible. But Orm wanted more, always.

His life was made of conquering, of ruling, they were his first extinct. The times in the past when the shivers in his spine passed through when seeing her were nothing compared to the hammering urge to own her. To be owned by her.

Y/N had parted the lips, her tongue advertising between in hunger, licking his mouth, and inviting his own to taste it. Her flavour was of warm waters, of longing, of desire, and pleasure. Of betrayal, of treason, of unloyalty, and guilt. A perfect mixture of everything Orm had been craving for his life. They kissed as two creatures, humming into each other as battling for more, for survival, knowing they didn’t have time to go slow, to take it somewhere. They only had that moment, and it had to be enough. His teeth came for her lips, crashing down on the lower one as his hands pulled her head back, wanting to both have her and destroy her.

I am not an animal, he had said to his vizier. But the lines of desires were blurred, Orm couldn’t recognize himself when his teeth bit into her neck, the flesh gently bending over, the veins pumping blood under his mercy, and she moaned, body pressing on his armour, pushing her into his torso. Orm lost it then. The first sound of her was the same as winning, the thrill of it. He was addicted to that, to devour her. He knew he whispered something into her ear as his hands helped her to strip himself from the armour, from the crown, groaning when her fingers ran on the muscles on his back, unplugging the attire, that fell on water and then the ground. Her purple attire was torn before she could have the chance to undress herself to him, Orm had grabbed the sides and pulled hard, for he couldn’t wait to touch her skin.

The curves were a sight to touch, the rough hands squeezing her being with want, too fast to remember, enough to feel, they filled with her breasts, then her hips, and his mouth joined, kissing and biting the way down. He had her laid on his own bed, the King’s bed. Almost a Queen. He drowned under her, on the edge of the bed, his tongue discovering her real taste as she wished. Orm could stay there forever, watching her swishing her hips harder on his face, the warrior strength forcing him deeper. Her moans were delicious, outraged, feeling his tongue entering, her eyes had searched for him, watching his tongue licking all the way from the crack, to the entrance to the point of pleasure. Orm sucked her intimacy with his opened, and was also able to watch the effect it had on her face, the eyebrows high, the flashing of color on the cheeks, and the pearls adorning their bones, sparkling. His thumbs seeked into her, opening the lower lips for more. He wanted more. He wanted everything.

The orgasm took a time, showing Orm both she had been done this before and she was not shy. Her feet stopped on his back, the jewelry on her ankles scratching his muscles, serving the support to thrust her hips toward him, and she rolled them many times, moaning his name, sucking water, loud and needy. Orm ate her up, helped her to the limit, took her there and admired the beauty in an atlantean’s cry. Her back curling, hands messing the bed and chest expanding His arms held her entirely, thighs, waist, ass, the skin hot, delicious. Y/N grabbed him immediately by the shoulders, eyes blinded by carnal thoughts, and kissed his lips, impulsing herself into his lap. They were sitting the floor then, and she cried again, the suffocating stretch for her King. He was big, thick, pulsing. Clutching into her back as the groan left his throat, she was tight, and wet; different from the sea, dense, heavenly.

No rhythm, no nice and easy pace. Orm groaned on her lips as rode, hands squeezing her back, pulling her hair, eating her moans, and cries like he had been starving. The breasts rubbed on his chests, the nipples hard, the thighs hitting against his own, and tides of water circulating them. At some point, he took control on the moviments, stiffening her body still, thrusting up into her. Y/N had let go then, nails digging behind on his knees, and back curled in the way her breasts followed his control. A hand came for her neck. Orm gave it a light thug to make it noticed, and didn’t know who enjoyed it more. Him, feeling her veins and the shape of it, or her, rolling her eyes and crying for her King.

Beg for me. He managed to let out, between all the mixture of emotions, all the creatures actions. Beg. And before she could, his feet pushed the floor, they ended on the wall, Y/N was turned and her head rested there. Give me the pleasure again, Your Majesty. She said, overwhelmed by him, their legs circulated together and they held on the glass. The sea outside with the purple and pink lights, gardens of seaweeds, corals, and Y/N inside offered herself to him, a tilt of waist. Make me worthy. Orm invaded her again with power, hitting her hips on the glass with a sound overflowing the room. He held her neck, disappearing his face into her hair, smelling the freshness, the sweetness, taking her from behind with the same strength he used to fight with. She accepted, she wanted it, she could take it. Muffed pushes into the wall with their many others noises, the fleshes of both collapsing into each other, easily mistaken as they could become one, and Orm never felt like that before. Fulfilled. Her lips caught him in ways he had never been kissed before, her body engulfed him in ways he had never been touched before; she was a beast of domination, and the track of who was the one in control faded, of course he gave orders and she listened, however how could he be sure she wasn’t exactly doing what she needed to do to make him follow the path she wanted?

They had each other for hours, and hours, Y/N had been bending for him in every position, and Orm had worn himself out in her arms. Their bodies floated around the room, back to his bed, Y/N on her knees and elbows, on the table with holographic lights that reflect on her skin in colorful maps and letters as she once again managed to get on top, terrifyingly holding his neck, laying on water, on the ceiling, soaring on the sides, clapping on the white material. He had come undone four times with her that night, stamina dripping from the pores, dancing between them in the drift, and Y/N wasn’t done, not yet. Laid on his chest, kissed his muscles and let his fingers entry her core, there was nothing left to do, but watch the perfection of how luxury stripped on her face. It was the moment he saw the future of wanting it again, searching for her again. And for the first time in a night of betrayal, Orm didn’t feel guilty. Instead, he felt peace, closed his lids and explored dreamlands.

Many were the nights Orm passed through the guards on the palace and dived into the dark, using the ruins of the Old City to arrive at her home, more times than he would like to admit. His emotions were always the same, every time seemed the first time. Y/N would greet him into her chambers, they would kiss and succumb into each other greatly, like warriors waiting for battles. She would wear purple, blue and even white; some nights the pearls on her face were on top of her cheekbones, highlighting the sea, some nights on the back of her hand, embellished into the dress, some nights her hair was braided from the roots, not letting him touch it, some nights she would wear diademas of precious stones, and gold. And some nights Orm wasn’t a creature, neither was she. Some nights he would trace her features with his finger tips before a kiss, some nights he would talk, of the throne, of Atlantis, of destiny, of her.

She was far more interesting than he could imagine. Her family came from a line of high borns since before the Great Fall, her great grandfather became one of the King’s vizier at his lifetime, but died in the second war, the trident was a gift passing through generations, her descendants were always proud of it, making the tradition of every heir being trained, guided to, when the Crown needed, they would fight by again. Her mother was from Xebel Royalty, what could and would explain when her fingers moved in circles creating bubbles and weak currents, however not always, she was quite unsure of it. Y/N was trained and educated there, coming to Atlantis when her father died, and her mother insisted she finished her training where he finished his own. His last words were be brave, and never ashamed. Before that, the only time she had been to Atlantis was on the celebration, the parade, many years ago when Orm remembered as the first time he saw her, sadness locked on her lips. He enjoyed the opportunity to ask why then, and her words trailed off, confessing she had an older brother, who by right, would be the one trained with the trident, and he was until he decided to swim too close to the surface, and never came back, Orm remembered his mother for a second, and it faded. Y/N was filling his space when the trident were passed to her, at the beginning, never seemed good, her father pushed to much, compared too much, she preferred the spells, preferred learning about the water, plants; after his death was the moment she stopped practicing the gifts from her mother, to honor him, it was her passion now. That night, they didn’t have any intimacy, Orm slept on her chest with her fingers curling his blond hair, most of his armour still on. A feeling easily to get addicted to.

“13,” her voice was quiet, as if telling a secret, the ringing a massage on his ears, he turned his face and felt her soft lips touching his cheek, they formed a smile. The fingers on his rib cage were gently tracing a scar there, the skin was rough unlike the rest of his torso, the muscles flexed in a shiver when only the long nail finished the drawing, obviously she referred to it. “I counted, you have 13.”

Silence.

It had been one of those night, where just lay together was enough, the warmth of somebody else’s body to press against was what he craved. He was nude for what Y/N had took his armour off piece by piece, unplugged his attire from behind and left a trace of kisses his spine. Orm floated on her silky sheets and she sat by the edge, admiring his bare beauty.

“Kiss me,” Orm said, his tone the same husky, grave, intimidating kind he used to give orders to General Murk, on his eyes, there was an abyss of coldness, the blue not transmitting any emotion, however his upper lip curled, asking for hers, and Y/N trailed off to accomplish, wondering if it was the closer her King ever got to ask for something.

She sealed his mouth with a first peck, then a second, and a third when the ends of her hair decided to play along his cheeks, until Orm had with her games, the tip of his tongue coming to line the shape of her bottom lip, calmly entering between the teeth, licking the inside inviting her to follow, and Melissa did, kissed him like promising to break him into pieces.

MIND

The yells came from outside, not perceived exactly what, seemed more of roars of sea beasts, and soon, knocks on the walls, loud thugs happening closer and closer to the entrance, then guns, the shots took always echoed of metal on the end causing everybody in the room alarmed into a group of protection, the guards pointing and waiting for the riot reach them while Murk and Vulko impulsed into a barrier for their King, who, for the sake of his own good, wielded his trident, and floated in a higher level, the black cape hem waving in water, covering the vision of Atlantis behind the huge glass. A final thug when the last guard outside bumped into the ground unconscious and, with the body light, stopped into the water, arms opened.

When she came, which he expected her to, she wasn't the type to be tamed down, her trident came first, the five edges crushing the fiber the door was, her body seen finally, the curves wrapped up in a gray suit, the boots had the famous scales of an armour, in the same of shade of white she cared on the scales of her shoulders, her hair whipped with the strength her arms up her head, the fingers were interlaced holding the weapon on the middle; the usual pearls where forgotten in the bubbles, disconnecting from the skin, her jawline was a rigid line along the lips, showing the ranger of her teeth, and the eyes… Oh, her eyes were revenge, demanding blood, they were never this insane before. Her biceps recoiled with the trident, and from her throat, they all heard her roaring, when in a first succeed try, the prongs breached the fiber isolation.

“Do not let her pass!” Murk shouted, sword ready to be used, but before the guards could follow, the trident entered the hole, twisted into a straight line and pulled back, having both of their heads bumped against the walls by the necks on the cane. The general was about to attack when, the last three remained noticed the same eyes asking for war were red, and bubbles of tears formed in the threads of her calm path to the middle where they were found.

Y/N stared at him, trident ceasing by the side, loose on her palm. She stared at his blond hair free in the water with the crown of a King, at his rosy lips that had no smiles for that specific moment, at the broad shoulders carrying the whole kingdom upon, and at the blue eyes, where she found nothing, no care, no compassion, no pity, no empathy, just a freezing immensity the Seven Seas could envy its depth. His posture was unbreakable, risen up above her, taller, stronger, with no mercy.

Orm saw on her face the confusion going through her ideas of to say, he knew when she was thinking, her lids blinked fast, he saw her sucking of water through the mouth, she was also out of herself. It wouldn’t be easy to invade a royal ship, all the degrees to finally reach him would cause even exhaustion on the most praised soldier, what was impossible in fact for her was just another task. He had to admit though, he expected her to come to him alone, somehow in private, not that way, not in an one atlantean crusade.

Her hand unlocked a plug from her silver belt, throwing it at his feet, the object a red flashing message. It had been sent last night, at her home, right at her by a soldier who didn’t identify as anybody, simply leaving it and going away.

“A year,” she started, voice trembling in both anger, and sadness, minding not at all Vulko or Murk glaring at her. “A full year and can’t my King at least deliver the news himself with me?”

There were seconds of anticipation, and waiting, when Orm spoke, it was in a misery. “I do not wish to see your face no more. Wasn’t I clear?”

“Orm…” she pleaded, intimacy wearing off in her, the old, caring way she’d greet him at her chambers, waiting for talks, waiting for kisses.

“Your Majesty!” she was corrected by Murk, who snarled with the scar on his face twisting in disgust.

Y/N left a single sick laugh, from the redness of her eyes, bubbles kept falling. “Of course, Your Majesty. I demand an explanation.”

“Leave,” Orm commanded, tone higher, mouth opened in anger, the teeth rangering, and his trident touched the ground under his feet in a warning. The shock on her eyes was not mistaken, she was about to pronounce herself again, but he stopped her, “Leave!”

It was her turn to impulse herself up, eyes on the same level as his, separated only by the vizier and the sword pointed at her waist, and her trident gave the same thug on the floor, for now her face were only anger. “I will not!”

Orm swimmed through the barrier of the two in a motion of arms and floated by her front, close enough he could see there were only three pearls left on top of one eyebrow, and only one on the other, the shine of her cheeks, the beauty of her traces which were harsh at glaring back at him, and could almost feel the softness of her lips. He was glad she came this way, it was easier to send her away in front of others.

The edge of his weapon trinkled in the movement of elapsing it to her neck, a real threat.

“It was an order,” his tongue clicked in every word, unforgiving, the voice raw and collected again.

Y/N blinked slowly, looking down at the edges on her trough, not being able to hold the strong posture any longer, when her pupils stared back, defeated, she whispered. “What was I to you?”

Orm didn’t expect it, there was not something he had prepared for before, his lungs had a tighter grip on their own, the water was too thick for the second, and he gulped, not answering.

Everything.

It was the real reason he had to leave, not for the lack of interest, or for what she could possible think of, no. Not at all. By the Gods, Orm didn’t wish for it. But, six nights ago, when he found himself between her arms and legs, gaining her comfort, he longed for what he didn’t know what.

A lie, he did. Orm longed of her eyes every morning, staring back at him on his bed, longed of her voice calling his name in the afternoon, longed of her smell when he was sitting on his throne, longed of her lips, kissing him at nights. He longed for her profoundly, feeling home only into her arms, feeling freedom only when she was close. It was new, the seconds counted to meet her, to lost himself into her, the way his body begged for her in the nights he was away. In that same moment, Orm thought for a minimum amount of time of a life with her, of how could be to have her as his Queen, present her as his, and valued as hers. Fantasized about not only for that, but much more. Showing her the other kingdoms she didn’t know, allowing her study knowledgement available only for a Queen, swimming the rest of the seas together, helping Atlantis to grow.

The day next to when it happened, Mera and her father had been with him for a mere hour, to discuss matters of Xebel. Her red hair coloring a guilt, a mirror Orm saw his own reflection as his mother. Treason, he repeated at himself. Traitor, he accused himself. Because he was ready to break the deal with the King Nereus, for his own sake, forget the huge plans he had for his people, for their future, he did not wish a betrothed, and he was ready to put his own kingdom at risk for it. Then he knew he had to leave Y/N before doing so, even if in the back of his mind, the vision of his father and mother fighting each other flashed non stop.

What was worst? A loveless marriage or two kingdoms splitting to fail the Rise of Atlantis?

Loveless.

Orm thought he was not able to, he thought it would never come to him, however there were her, the prove. He didn’t know sadness like that until she gave up, trident floating by itself in front of him and left, swimming away. In his chest, a heart he had dedicated only for Atlantis, arching.

His life had never been the same since then, but a Great King would never let life distract him from the duty.

HEART

“Orm,” his mother called, the long hair a whole wave of blond in the very clean room, her voice sweet and delicate. It felt strange in the beginning, it seemed more of a mirage, a memory lost in years, the point between dreams and sleeping where it was blurry to tell the difference, until her hands came in a gentle touch, to hold and hug, it was when the point of real reached higher than dreams and she was there. There. Alive and well.

He was quiet, not for ignorance, but for the animal on the other side of the glass, the small turtle was the first to appear that week, it was the season of year the higher water changed the temperature and fishes were claiming for the warmth, traveling from another part of the sea. It was utterly tiny, and it swang in a circle, legs clapping bubbles, definitely showing off to him for what he was close, the fingertips touched where the turtle was, in an attempt to reach it somehow. A small sound to communicate with him, and it spinned again. There was envy spreading inside his chest when seeing it, floating free beyond those clear walls where he was trapped with only a bed to rest, and a view to mourgue.

“Orm,” she called again, still calmly, noticing what had happened. Months had gone by since the last time he was able to swim in open sea and of course, he would miss it. Her son turned his head, ears in her direction, but not the eyes, still locked with the friendly turtle, one of the only companion he had in days.

Of course, Atlanna would come almost everyday to see him, informing when she would be gone for more than two days, she didn’t say the reason, yet it was obvious it had to do with the human on the surface. Mera came twice only, said very little, for what her eyes had a sense of shyness when seeing his state, then she had come to say sorry, and was asked to never come again, pity was not something he wanted to hear. Vulko came after a long time, both not having any words for each other, it was out of consideration for before, when he was young and knew better. Arthur never came.

“Yes, mother?” Orm profered, quietly. Hand falling at his side, and feet switched in, slow, almost not moving, small inches above the floor. The boots he wore were black, a special shade reflecting the coral lights, and on the ends by his calves, a detail in blue contrasting with the white suit adorning his body, no hardness of armour, no jewelry on the shoulders, the ordinary kind, the ones that, when the light hit right, sprinkled baby blue on the scales texture.

“I took liberty to go into your bedroom,” she started, cautiously, making him turn complete at her over his shoulders, the once rough features of his face were nothing more than plain now, emotionless like the last months had dragged the life out of them, they were still ever so breathtaking, just lacking even the slight feeling to prove he was not dead inside.

As a mother, she wanted to find something, could be anger, could be pain, could be failure, anything she could use to help him heal, would be easier to know what Orm was thinking and feeling when she wanted to talk, but he was a barrier, one of the strongest, like the bridge outside Atlantis, surviving decades with no moving, in the ruins of once a empire. She had heard stories of Orm as a King, not about the war against the surface, the other ones, how he helped the technological advance in their soldiers, the study of the new plants presented in the capital, and news philosophies for their culture, the people had an enormous respect for him, an intimate relationship for what he was always watching his kingdom close. His ideas of change, of growth was supported by them all, Atlantis joined him in the attack on the Brine without second thoughts, and there were the whispers around.

King Orm. King Orm. The real King Orm. He still had support, for what Arthur had the Atlan’s trident, however was oblivious in a degree to Atlantis, to the people, and the costumes, for what Orm had grown up in those waters, under the kingdom’s eyes, won championships with them as a crowd, built new places, expanded the homes and knowledges, and gave a hope of saving their children, once for all. She wondered if Orm knew he was forgiven, not by the Fishermen, but by Atlantis and Xebel, and by his brother. Wondered if he knew the agitations presented in the few last weeks outside his cell was not just guards yelling at each other by another prisoner’s fault, it was in fact a failed attempt of freeing him.

Little they knew, Orm didn’t wish to be rescued, at least that Atlanna knew, because when she brought him some spare suits and some holograms to read through, he dismissed, saying he was just like any other in those prisoners cells, then shouldn’t be treated specially. The only favor he accepted was the window to the depth of the sea, to remember, to still have the contact with the land he was trying to protect. And to remember, that part of him who failed, lost his throne, hundreds of soldiers, his betrothed, and his glory.

“Mother, I told you I do not want special treatment,” he said, the last bit of hoping of making her understand, he wasn’t rude, however definitely bold.

“I found the trident, Orm,” Atlanna stood from the bed, body hovering up in the middle of the room, the crown on her head rather small than he remanded from his young years, when she would play with him, and put it on his head, promising he would be great. From the way she spoke, she knew somehow, though Vulko, the only one present in that room who didn’t die or vanished, Murk was gone, never came back from the surface, and he didn’t tell.

Actually, it was a part of the beginning of his reign, Orm kept locked deep inside the back of his mind to never remember again, a hard task he had fulfilled like any other until months ago. It began with a struggle, when his hand closed around the trident left behind, the silence of the room sucked him into an abyss of despair, there was no need to excuse himself, Orm left right away, feeling the bubbles of her impulses breaking on his cheeks for she had been in the same path not long ago, but he went straight to the palace, two tridents and only one heir; he knocked her weapon down under his attires, under the studies on the tables, where no one could see, cracked the wall and hid there, the only vestige of its existence was a scratch on the material being taken off and placed back again. It hunted him like a spirit in nights, when his body arched for her, painfully, and he still felt the taste of her mouth on his, nightmares invaded his sleep, the weapon shaking the cabinet, shining through, it would break it at some point, align on his neck and take his life, Orm always woke almost drowning. He had missed her in the morning, for when he had opened his eyes for her smile, the curve of her lips an enchantment of their own, he had missed her in the afternoons, her voice of talks, of stories about her life, of Xebel, of her mother and father, and gone brother, how many details she could give when describing what she thought Atlantis could improve. He had missed her, completely, even losing in rare occasion the control of himself, opening the crack on the wall and staring at her trident. He doubted it was capable of calling her into the Seven Seas, calling her back home. He never tried, pulling the wall back into place and scolded himself to never even think of doing it.

And love didn’t fade like that, he grieved her for her death to him, and suffered quiet when he saw pearls, when he saw purple. Tried twice harder, and harder to forget her, focusing on his kingdom that was worth the sacrifice, for only years later, he was able to push her back into the darkness his brain made just for her to dwell, a coffin of black arabesques and red scales, her name adorned on the visior. Yet, Orm, with an extend acquaintance in atlantean behavior, should had know that kind of happiness simply wouldn’t be replaced like that, didn’t matter how much he succeed in his duties, that kind of happiness not even Atlantis could bring back.

The irony was the sacrifice he offered to the Gods passed by as nothing, for there he was with nothing left on his palms. Nothing.

Atlanna saw what that did to her son, saw the eyebrows falling, the lower lip curling, the pupils longing into the ground, and an awful sigh leaving his mouth. What did on his body, sinking into the floor with heaviness, the broad shoulders falling in an inferior posture. The first feeling coming from him. It was sorrow.

“Please, mother,” he begged, trembling. “Leave.”

She didn’t, instead went for him, staring at the ghost of a warrior who had no strength, she smiled in grace, empathy, denying with her head. “The writtens on it allowed me to find its owner. She is back in Atlantis, my son.”

Orm widened his eyes, heart skipping a beat with the revelation. “No, please, mother…”

“Yes,” Atlanna nodded then, careful with the words, whispering into his cheeks, the same ones her hands came to hold, to not let him shatter across that depressing cell. “Do you wish to see her?”

The mere thought of her in front of him, seeing his state, what he came was a shame of its own. Gods, the things she must heard of him already, the fallen, miserable thing he had become, locked away in a prison, no crown, the humiliation it brought to Orm was a reason to never leave there again.

He finally broke, shattered around, his blue eyes red of insanity, pushing his own mother’s arms away, impulsing himself into the ceiling, where his back hit with a loud thug, the roar leaving his throat was enough for the whole building to hear, if not, outside too. No! He impulsed to the glass then, hitting with his left shoulder in a chance to escape that room, go to the Trench himself and be gone, there was no way to bear the emptiness the news created inside. Orm wanted to disappear.

Atlanna yelled in his behalf, trying to get him, calm him down when he tried to divide the glass again, shouting with all his being. The guards outside were moving already, to contain him. Orm didn’t care, he kept trying, again, and again. Until he stopped all of the sudden, his senses captured the attack seconds before, and his body shifted to dodge it. It was no plasma, no shot, just five curved edges piercing the glass. He was definitely drowning when his neck betrayed his commands and followed from where it came from.

As the sun that long ago shined through Atlantis, Y/N was found by the entrance of his cell, hovering like a goddess ascending, if years had any affect on her beautiful traces, the only difference able to be shown would be her hair, longer than before, a big halo around the face, her own crown of braids dancing between the threads. The attire was purple, scales trickling green and blue, defining the curves of a body he knew like the lines on the palm of his hand in the past. Her wrists contained silver bracelets, a match to the silver boots up high on her thighs, where the ends branched gills. And, as the memories, on top of her high eyebrows there were the pearls, the biggest one between them, and the smallests following the shapes, her pupils under the thick lashes were harsh, the same superior posture she had when she was gifting in his birthday, the lips in burgundy color. She didn’t seem happier, neither sad. Neutral.

Orm was speechless, stuck. Emotions he had buried deep down forcing their way up against the barrier he built to protect himself, the water in his lungs missed the automatic suck and felt like he wasn’t breathing at all, he was drowning in everything she was and represented. How lower he had to reach to be enough?

“Orm,” she called his name as a firm song from the Fishermen, tenting to a side, speeding to enter the cell and hovering by this presence. It was a clue for every guard and Atlanna withdraw for privacy. He still couldn’t believe she was in his front, judging his defeat as the rest of his people was, the disgrace he had fallen into, the strongest burden any could carry.

He retracted without noticing, to the corner, head low, his voice tried to get out, ask her if she had any pity left for him, she would leave. Melancholy, his legs curled, and he knelt on the floor, cheek resting on the surface, not capable of looking into her direction. Her shadow engulfed his being demonstrating she was not leaving, her soft hands came soon later, to his face, the palms pulling gently his cheek back. When Orm felt the scales of her attire on his face, realised it was true, relived the nights and nights her chambers were an escape, and before he knew, his eyes closed in a sob, his hands implored around her, grasped her hips, clutching closer, supporting his weight on her stomach, where he ultimately cried, tears mixing in the ocean.

Y/N hugged his head, caring, letting him lament all his lost, to assume him that, in the end, there was still hope.

#orm marius x reader #king orm x reader #orm marius #king orm #orm marius imagine #aquaman #dc #dceu #gabs writing #finally

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