#i need this two in a fucking sitcom istg

[shadebloopnik]

I just want Alastor and Lucifer's relationship in canon to develop enough to be chaotic besties. Like- we all know this alr, but they'd work SOOOO well together- Dramatic and emotionally passionate, with his sarcastic dark humor murder bestie its a fucking sitcom guys comeon-

Imagine a scene of Lucifer practicing talking to Lilith, just pouring his heart out in a declaration of love. And then it pans over to Alastor in a blonde wig, still with his suit and all, just going "Hmmm! No😁", and Lucifer throwing a book at his face like "TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY. Alastor dramatically sighs and fixes his wig with a "Ohh alright old chap." He clears his throat and takes a deep breath and-

Pulls out a stack of papers with 'DIVORCE' scribbled messily on it and says in the most feminine sounding voice, "Now darling if you'll just sign here-"

Lucifer tackles him.

[hellslayersomething]

I feel like I should write out some proper thoughts about my opinions on Veilguard, or at least an outline for the much longer essay that is currently calcifying in my heart. It's a mixed bag of a reaction, and I'm not going to compliment sandwiching any of it--this is all just stream of consciousness, so I'm probably going to snag on the negative and spiral down that pretty quickly. Spoilers, obviously:

I liked the battle system. For the first time in a DA game, it actually felt satisfying to play and had its own identity. I do wish the Pokemon element aspect was a little better balanced among the companions, but overall it was great.

That said, considering the length of the game, they needed way more enemy diversity, especially with the bosses. Eventually I was just fighting dragons, and every dragon had essentially the same moveset, one of those moves being "the dragon trips over her own dick and face-plants on top of Rook", which sure doesn't make the fights feel epic. Even very unique characters, like the Gloom Howler, were just reskinned basic demons when it came time to fight them.

The decision to tie companion approval to companion levels was a mistake. A massive and extremely obvious mistake. No wonder there are no disagreements or tension among the group--the game can't let you lose affinity with your team members, because then it would have to account for you leveling them down. The gameplay design here strangled the narrative design in its crib.

Speaking of narrative design: while I appreciate that the modular approach to companion arcs was experimental, it was extremely weird of them to take that approach in the only DA game where all companions are required. The story doesn't have to be written to account for the fact that you might not recruit some of them or they might die early--so why didn't they write one story about Rook and their seven friends instead of one story about Rook and also there are seven smaller, unrelated stories of extremely varying quality shoved in next to it?

The hyperfixation on the companion quests paired with their complete compartmentalization from each other means that each companion basically has nothing going on outside of their own quest and very few opportunities to engage with other characters' quests.

I was so starved for conflict in this game that I went from Solas-neutral to Solas-positive because he was the only character who the game allowed to be a bitch to me, and I respect him for that.

I do like all the horrid little sons the game gives me. I think I would appreciate them more if there was anything bad or tense happening in the story on a personal level that required some comic relief, but I am a sucker for a funky little guy none the less, and Manfred, Assan, and Spite are the perfect trifecta of funky little guys, as far as I'm concerned.

"We're only going to do character cameos if it's important to the plot." *does what they did with Isabela* Okay, devs.

"We aren't importing player choices but we won't override your decisions either." *several codex entries overriding player decisions later* Okay, devs.

I like the companions, generally. I see their potential. Fanfic will do right by them. Harding, in my mind, is the weakest of the bunch, just truly having no personality to speak of and talking like she was written by a Boomer who thinks that Millennials are still teenagers. (Everyone responsible for her uttering the phrase "Awkward..." like she's a character in 2011 quirky girl sitcom should be tried at the fucking Hague, istg.) And while I like Bellara, it was extremely frustrating to have a character that's just "Merrill, again, but with the edges sanded off". Taash and Emmerich are also glaringly the last additions in the writing process, each belonging to one of the two most underbaked factions and neither of them being tied to any of the game's few "big choices". There's promise in this cast, but I don't think any of them came close to realizing their potential.

Davrin and Emmerich's companion quests felt appropriately scoped to the size of the questlines, had good emotionality, good antagonists, and expanded on the lore of Thedas in ways we hadn't seen yet.

Lucanis's companion quest had potential, but it was too unfocused with three antagonists, too much attention to the boring Venatori shit, and not enough examination on Illario's motives or Lucanis's relationships with either Spite or Illario.

Harding's companion quest was fine, I guess (the people are starving for dwarf lore), but Harding could have been swapped out with literally any other dwarven character who wasn't Sandal and nothing would have been different. (Also weird that the whole quest was basically about Sandal while simultaneously fully removing Sandal from the narrative.)

Bellara and Neve's companion quests were just nothing. Just a whole lot of nothing. And Neve's also suffered from what I like to call "machete editing", where it is glaring obviously where things were cut, changed, moved around, and added at the last minute.

I say, from the bottom of my non-binary heart: Taash's companion quest is total ass. Real nice of Mae to come out of hiding and risk being found and executed by the Venatori to give Taash a Queer Theory 101 class, though, I fucking guess.

Is Lucanis's romance bugged? Apparently I'm not the only one who had that thought while I was playing it, so now I'm wondering. Like, there's no way they made it Like That on purpose, right?

Why and how are the Venatori still a force in Thedas, never mind a force with numbers so great (in spite of lacking a central leader) that they were able to simultaneously occupy the two largest cities in Thedas?

They literally didn't even try with the Antaam. The Venatori are at least theoretically still working to try to restore Tevinter to its former imperial might. The Antaam are just invading countries for literally no reason except ill-defined power grabs. Given the racial coding of Qunari, this writing choice sure is...something. (And that something is racist.)

That said, the revelation that the Butcher did a military tour in Europe and fell in love with the culture and just wants to drink wine and visit art museums now is fucking hilarious.

What the absolute FUCK did they do the Crows. I like the Crow characters from Tevinter Nights/the comics, and Zevran is my favorite character in the whole damn franchise, but they completely whitewashed both TN's mafia take on them and their original portrayal in DA:O. But it also doesn't really retcon anything, making it instead seem like the human trafficking and torture and sexual abuse that Zevran suffered at the Crows' hands A) only happened to him individually, and B) are fine, actually??? Even the very few times that characters express reservations about working with Lucanis because he's an assassin, if you play as a Crow, those concerns get immediately backpedaled, so the Crows end up being so ironed out that the game doesn't even let characters say of the Crows, "Murder is bad," lest it hurt a Crow Rook's feelings. That is how conflict-averse the writing is.

So I guess everyone in southern Thedas is...dead now? Several characters survived long enough to get a mention from the Inquisitor, but by the end, it sounds like Orlais, Ferelden, and most of the Free Marches are pretty much donezo. When Epler said the events in southern Thedas didn't matter, I didn't expect that to mean they were going to nuke the damn place. Even having generally enjoyed VG (in spite of all my criticisms here) that, uh...doesn't leave me enthused about the future of the franchise, ngl.

The layoffs of several writers (and other Bioware employees) before the game's release was obviously heinous. But after that secret ending, I'm now of the mind that of the writers that remain, at least a few of them need to be demoted. Like literally what the fuck was that. That was the dumbest plot point to ever appear in a Dragon Age game, and that is a high bar to clear. If you're not going to acknowledge our past choices, then keep Loghain's name out of your fucking mouths.

[hllfireclb]

"I‘ll make you feel better Princess“ | Older!eddie X Fem!reader

Pairing: Older Eddie X Fem Reader (reader is 21, Eddie in his 30‘s)

Warnings: +18 MINORS GO AWAY ISTG, Age gap, slight Daddy kink I think?? hurt / angst,pet names, smut, eddie being a soft meanie, oral (f receiving), if I missed something pls let me know!

Word count: 2.3k

a/n: I’m such a simp for older Eddie x reader <\\\3 so I HAD to write something about it..this is my first time trying to write smut and idk how to feel about it. Maybe it’s kinda rushed? Idk :“)

English is not my first language, so I apologize for all kinds of mistakes! Feel free to send requests! feedback is always appreciated but please be nice! Enjoy the story! Don’t like? Don’t read!

Masterlist

It‘s a cold fall night in Hawkins Indiana, 2am to be exact. You should be lying in your bed by now, cuddled up between your plushies and pillows to get some sleep before work tomorrow. Instead you’re here. Sitting in your older neighbors lap while he‘s softly playing with your hair. Your back is pressed against his strong chest, enjoying the comfortable state you’re currently in as his body gives you some warmth. He‘s like your personal human heater. Your eyes are focused on the small screen in front of you, watching whatever lame sitcom is playing at this time, when a soft sigh escapes your lips.

"What is it Sweetheart?“ the deep voice of your fathers co-worker suddenly interrupts your silent staring contest with the screen of the TV. "What do you mean?“ is all you say, not daring to look away from the screen but Eddie has other plans. He wraps his strong arms around your hips, making you face him within 2 seconds and without any struggle. He‘s expecting to see your pretty eyes staring back at his but instead he finds you looking slightly downward, directly onto his chest. His fingertips poke into your side, a sign for you to look at him, but you don’t. You‘re avoiding his gaze on purpose.

"You know exactly what I mean, young lady. What‘s going on in that pretty head of yours?“ his voice is soft but daring. He wants to know what made you come over to his old, messy trailer. Especially because it’s 2am on a Wednesday night and because he knows you have to get up early tomorrow. If you‘re not going to tell him on your own, he‘s going force it out of you.

This time it‘s his turn to let out a heavy sigh after no reaction of yours. One of Eddie‘s hands finds it‘s way to your jaw, gripping it hard to lift your head up a bit and making you look at him. This time your eyes meet with his instantly. They’re beautiful brown, almost like the color of chocolate. His pupils are expanded, not as wide as they are when he‘s horny but just enough to see the pure adoration and concern in his eyes. A simple look of his is all you need to start blushing like a crazy teenager who‘s madly in love.

It‘s not the first time that Eddie looks at you that way. He has done it many times before but ever since the two of you started this little 'affair', how you like to call it, it just feels so much different. So much better. Eddie and you have known each other since you were 16 years old, he actually took care of you sometimes too. Whenever your father was on one of his "business trips" or out partying, Eddie happily decided to look after you. He made you breakfast, watched over you when you had some parties at yours, he drove you to school and picked you up again. People in town started to think that Eddie Munson had found his "lost daughter“ how they liked to call you. But you‘re still pretty much convinced that he‘s just doing all of that for you, because he knows how it feels to grow up without parents. Without a father figure especially.

"Are you gonna talk to me, or do you just wanna keep staring, Princess?“ his voice pulls you out of your thoughts once again, the nickname he has given you making you shiver under his touch slightly. "Sorry..'s just that you‘re really fucking pretty" your lips form into a soft smile. The grip on your jaw loosens up as Eddie gives you his usual, deep chuckle. Your favorite sound ever, next to his moans. His hand wanders down your body until it‘s settled on your hips, drawing slow circles into the flesh of your barely covered ass. "Well…y‘know I appreciate your compliments. But you gotta talk to me Angel, what made you come over to an old man like me at that time, mh?" You stay silent again, causing another sigh of Eddie‘s but before he‘s able to continue talking, you start talking.

"It‘s just..my dad was being an asshole again. I didn’t want to argue with him…so I left. And I thought coming here was the best thing to do.." you shyly admit while looking down to his chest once again. Not daring to look up, he’s probably smirking like always. Teasing you. Your fingers slowly start dragging over the soft material of his tank top, playing with the hem of it as you reach the bottom. Eddie stalks over your hands, following every single movement with his eyes. Gosh he thinks you‘re adorable like this. Sitting there, in one of his old Shirts and your panties only, right on his lap, while you’re playing with his clothes. He probably shouldn’t be head over heals for a younger women, especially not you since he has known you, since what feels like forever. Plus, you’re his co-workers daughter who just started working. All of this is so wrong. But it feels so goddamn right.

"You want me to make you feel better Princess? I‘ll take care of you, no matter what you want me to do" and he means it. If you need to cuddle up to his chest and ball your eyes out, he‘ll be the one to hold you close to him and let you wet his shirts with your tears. If you want to punch someone, he‘ll be the one to let you punch him. If you need a hot chocolate and ice cream, he‘ll drive to the next supermarket and get you everything you need. If you need to get fucked until you‘re nothing but a crying, cock-drunk Slut, oh he‘ll happily be the man to make you cry beneath him. He‘d do anything for you.

Your fingers make their way up to his chest again, locking your gaze with his carefully as you do and nod in response to his earlier question. "Words y/n." Of course he needs words. "Please make me feel good Eddie". That‘s all he needs. "I’ll make you feel better Princess".

Before you know it you’re flipped over, lying on your back with the soft material of the couch touching your back. Eddie‘s fast with his movements though. He’s hovering above you in the split of a second, pressing his wet lips onto yours as he kisses you messily. He may be older now but he’s still kinda chaotic when it comes to making out. You love it though. You softly moan into the kiss when one of his hands starts massaging your left boob, slowly playing with it as his other hand wraps around your throat to give it a soft squeeze.

He‘s lying between the fat of your thighs just as fast as you were lying on the couch. His arms wrap around your legs after he slowly pulls down your panties, smiling a bit because of the wetness that already lingers between your folds. He drags them all the way down, to your ankles before he sits up again, removing them completely and leaving you in front of him in nothing but his shirt. What a beautiful sight. You mirror his action, sitting up straight with your hands at the hem of his shirt. When he realizes you’re about to pull it off, he stops you.

"Keep it on please. You look stunning in this shirt" he smiles at you. Before you‘re able to protest, his lips are on yours again, moving slowly as the two of you find a steady rhythm. Going slow and passionate this time. You feel the light pressure he‘s putting into the kiss, a sign for you to lie down again. You happily follow his unspoken request and lie down, spreading your legs wider so he‘s able to get comfortable between your thighs. His arms wrap around your legs and hips once again and he slips even further until his lips graze over the skin of your inner thigh, making you gasp softly.

You‘re able to feel a smug grin form on his lips after he starts sucking on your skin slightly, leaving you with a few dark marks that only you and him will be able to see. A hot feeling starts to build up in your body, causing you to whimper softly. "Ed’s please..no teasing today. I need you" you sigh. Eddie doesn’t want to tease you, well at least not right now…but he wants to take his sweet time with you. He wants to worship your body in every way possible. He wants to show you how much he loves to make you feel good. To him, it doesn’t matter if he gets off on it. His only goal is to make you cum…also, most of the time he cums in his pants like a dumb teenage boy, just from hearing and seeing you fall apart beneath him.

"Sorry Sweetheart, just wanted to mark what‘s mine" he winks at you before pulling you even closer, making you gasp again after his tongue slowly starts drawing slow circles on your, already aching, clit. The two of you never spoke about what actually is going on with you..if you’re a couple already or not..but you couldn’t care less right now. Sweet Eddie really loves taking his time, devouring every soft moan and gasp of yours as he starts giving your bud the softest kitten licks. His slow make-out session with your clit doesn’t last long though, he knows what you need and he‘ll gladly give it to you. So his tongue starts to lick through your folds, which are soaked in your own juices by now, enjoying the taste of you in his mouth as he starts playing with your hole.

Normally he‘d be wearing his tongue piercing right now since he loves eating you out with it. It’s his new favorite thing to do, ever since you’ve told him that it makes you cum even faster, even harder…but because of the time you’ve decided to come over, he‘s sadly not wearing it. He‘ll definitely catch up to that tomorrow morning. While his tongue starts to happily explore your insides, one of your hands settles in his messy curls to tug on it every now and then. It helps you to find a hold and to not squirm away from him.

"Eddie Fuck! 'S so good“ you moan out softly while tugging on his hair, when his thumb lazily starts massaging your clit. He ate you out so many times by now, he just knows the ways to make you feel good. To make you forget everything. Others would get tired of cumming so fast, but you? Oh no, you love it. Especially because Eddie is so outrageous good at making you cum several times. With every soft tug on his hair, his own moans start to get louder…causing you to shiver and curl your toes into the sofa. He knows what he’s doing, that’s for sure.

Another moan escapes your lips, this time it‘s louder and more intense, causing Eddie to grin and stop his actions. "Already close, huh? Babe I didn’t even eat you out for five minutes" his smirk is devilish, causing your poor Pussy to twitch. He’s teasing you. "I told you to not tease me!" You pout at him. Oh how he loves seeing you like this, cheeks pink and chest moving up and down rapidly because of how hard you‘re breathing. "Yeah, yeah right..sorry" he grins even wider when he puts more pressure to your clit, causing your head to fall back and a whine to leave your mouth.

He‘s fast with continuing his previous actions, eating you out like the starved man that he is. He can’t get enough of you, especially of how you taste on his tongue. He slurps up every bit of juice, every moan of yours as he stares up at you, seeing you fall apart on his tongue only. It‘s embarrassing how fast you‘re at your own limit, feeling the knot in your lower abdomen build up already just from him eating your out. Pathetic. You slowly look up again, seeing his eyes stare directly back at yours. His black pupils took over the soft brown color which you were able to see earlier, the lust and the Hunger completely took over him by now. He grins wide when he catches you staring down at him, causing you to blush even harder as another moan escapes your lips.

You can feel your legs start twitching after a while and your breath starts to speed up a bit, Eddie feels it too. His grip on your hips tightens and his tongue starts moving faster as he moans into you. You don’t notice how he starts humping the soft material beneath you, trying to get some relief himself while he rubs intense circles on your clit. Another loud moan of yours fills the living room as you feel the knot in your tummy snap "ohmygodohmygodohmygod Eddie!! Fuck fuck fuck!". It‘s music to Eddie‘s ears. The best melody he has ever heard. Knowing he‘s the only one who makes you cum this hard and this fast makes him moan into you again as he tries to get everything of your orgasm. Eating everything up like it‘s his last meal. He takes you through your orgasm,while he helps you to calm yourself down by drawing smooth circles into your skin. When you‘re finally completely back to earth, he kisses your pussy one last time before he helps you to sit on his lap once again, holding you close.

"What about you? You didn’t get to cum and I know how painf-" you start but he cuts you off. "This wasn’t about me. It was about you Doll. We’ve got time for more tomorrow" his hand strokes over the back of your head as he plants a soft kiss on your lips, making you taste yourself on his tongue. You really do not deserve this man.

[meguyummy]

pls see the vision lets have a reddit love story guys! reader owns a book store, izuku's a nerd, pt 1.

--

Internet anonymity is something that you abuse often. Who could really blame you, though?

It's late evening, almost closing time. Sat behind the counter in your small antique bookstore, the only noises you hear are the occasional rustling and crunching of autumn leaves. Today was a slow day, and you're insanely bored. Pulling out your phone, you wonder which app to kill time on before closing up shop. Twitter has been uninteresting, and YouTube has irritatingly long unskippable ads. So recently, you've turned to Reddit. More specifically, r/HeroSnark.

Initially, all your critiques on heroes were posted on Twitter, long and profane rants that got you suspended multiple times. You gained a following for being an outspoken "hero hater", but the sheer amount of die-hard All Might fans who almost found your location deterred further posting. Hating in peace was way more fun than getting swatted.

Has anybody else noticed how sloppy Pinky is getting with her acid recently? Public damage is out the fucking wazoo. Istg if I see another hole in the sidewalk I'll riot.

After posting to the subreddit, you turn off your phone and stand up, ready to flip the sign on the door to "closed" and head home. That's when the work phone rings. Of fucking course that's when the phone rings.

Plopping back down with a groan, you yank the phone out of the receiver and greet the caller, wondering if they've ever checked your closing time (or have, and were just shameless enough to not care).

"Hi! I noticed you have a copy of Captain Cosmos' special edition autobiography and I was wondering if you could hold it for me. I'll pay extra!"

You cringe, scrunching up your face at the phone. The voice on the was certainly.. enthusiastic. The caller was a guy, with a deep, but still somewhat boyish voice. He must be a fanboy on a different level if he liked Captain Cosmos, an ancient and mostly irrelevant hero. Your store offered all kinds of obscure old books, and despite your personal dislike, you knew better than to hurt business by not selling hero media.

"Yeah... I could do that if you're planning on coming to pick it up within the next two days. Are you?" You hope your exhaustion isn't too obvious from your voice.

"Yes! Yeah, I am. Thank you so so much I've been looking all over for it. I'll be there tomorrow!"

You say both say parting words, and you put the phone down, closing up quickly so no other last-minute calls can stall you. Walking up the stairs you retire to your apartment.

Living above the shop was a dream come true, allowing you to thrive without the possibility of an annoying downstairs neighbor. The space was cozy, designed perfectly to your liking after years of living there. After a relaxing shower, you slump into the couch. Checking the post, you read replies from others who have noticed the exact same issue and are equally frustrated by it, some even bringing up more problems you hadn't even noticed yet. You upvote a couple responses, reply to others, and turn on a sitcom.

The amount of bitching done online doesn't mean you're an asshole to people in real life too. Not to normal people, at least. The fact that heroes act like celebrities instead of the crucial emergency workers they really are grinds your gears. Who needs to see Can't Stop Twinkling's annoying ass on TV for something that isn't a rescue? There's a pedestal that they always put themselves on, like they're all-mighty and amazing and need to be praised, but their actions never speak enough for your liking.

A new reply catches your attention, and your brows furrow reading it. This is probably because she's been suffering injuries from her last mission and has still been pushing herself to work and save civilians! We should all be a little bit nicer :)

You frown, blinking hard down at your phone at the reply. Why the hell is.. u/minimight on here to spread positivity? Wrong place for that, bud. You pause the sitcom and sit up from your slouching position on the couch, readying your thumbs.

First, the downvote button gets smashed. Hard.

Dude, I honestly couldn't give less of a fuck that she's injured. If she can be a guest judge on The Masked Singer while injured, she can try a little harder to not make the sidewalk in my area look like Swiss cheese.

Why would anybody who likes heroes spend any time in that subreddit? The whole point is being able to dunk on them freely. You're not going to let some random guilt-trip you.

A reply comes in a minute later. The sidewalk is going to be fixed soon, it was just a minor inconvenience that came during her battle to save a life!

Way to make it deeper than it was supposed to be, u/minimight. You send another quick downvote.

Don't care lol save it for a hero-dickeating subreddit, not this one. You type.

While I understand your frustration, we should give more grace! I know how inconvenient and annoying things like this are, but not everything turns out as planned.

Holy shit they're not done. You don't really feel like arguing with a hero stan tonight, so you reply with a photoshopped picture of All Might in a clown suit.

They quickly reply. I just wish more people would have an open mind on these issues.

Yeah, u/minimight is gonna feel the banhammer soon. After swiftly downvoting their reply, you click on their account. They're a member of a couple All Might subreddits, which are expected, but also some more snark ones as well. They've written a couple of long posts written about random obscure heroes and their 'impact on hero culture'. Seeing that, you decide to write them off another annoying hero superfan and turn your phone off, changing the TV to a movie you've wanted to watch for a while.

Disappointed, (the movie was way worse than you expected) you switch off the TV and head to bed. As you lie there in the darkness, the image of All Might in a clown suit comes to mind, bringing a slight smile to your lips. Maybe tomorrow will be a less annoying day, free from hero fanatics.

[mckenziestownhouse]

ASTROVATIONSSSSZZ!!!! PT TWO

HEY STINKABUTTS! YALL WERE SO NICE ON MY LAST POST AND I REALLY APPRECIATE Y’ALL!!!! LETS GET INTO IT!

idk bout y’all but virgo placements think they’re almost NEVER IN THE WRONGGGGGGG BITCH SIT DOWN NEOW!

if u think CAPRICORN MOONS never ever ever wanna talk abt their emotions??? virgo placements are just as stubborn if not worse

sag moons are cool n all but they have the worst temper(undeveloped are just ignorant i can’t apologize for that) sit down as well stinkabutt

they ALSO snap quick asl if they feel some type of way abt u and are SLOWWWWW asl to get over

ex. my mom n sister have this placement and WHEW! i cannot and will not! they’re firecrackers and can go from enemies to home girls in literal seconds.

i have love for virgo placements(earth placements in general) and am literally surrounded by them but y’all need a lil something strange to chill y’all the fuck out!

cancers are horny man, unprovoked freaks and all. they’ll tell u abt some freaky ass shit they’re either thinking of or their freak ass experiences out the big blue sky.

that one aquarius/pisces dom person yk? they do not care abt any of ur drama bitch they’re in their own Solar system.

when people say u will be around/crushing on/surrounded by the sign that is in your 7th or 11th house..THEY ARE NOT LYING!!!

ex. istg my 11th is in virgo and EVERYWHEREEEEEEE i go i see a damn VIRGO!

i have leo placements and a cancer sun and i wake up in the morning ALWAYS thinking abt how dramatic or chaotic i can be today—it rarely happens though.

i have a FIRM belief that leo placements do not like being around people who can just naturally take the spotlight bc we wanna be in the spotlight. word of advice: PLEEEEAASAAEWW refrain from being jealous of those people, it’s not cool or cute.

cancers are LOUDSDD whenever they’re around their friends or feel they’re inna safe environment.

i feel like leo mercury’s try to adjust their tone or wtv whenever they’re talking to certain people

as a cancer, i hate cancers

ex. i knew 3 people in middle school who were cancers and they weren’t even whiny—they were just dickheads middle schoolers and bullied me for being fat chile!!!! + i have 2 relatives who are cancers and they’re just annoying like…

do NOT be fooled! aries can most definitely be followers! for the right leaders??? oh baby they’re falling right in line, front n center.

aquarius’s love sitcoms, watching youtube, watching old tv shows, they just love watching random shit tbh.

two things a pisces loves to do? be right and argue if someone tries to play w them abt being right!

they’ll get on u too! don’t play!

earth placements will really put u onto the coolest shit tho—it can be literally anything and they’ll probably know a little something abt it

sagittarius’s, scorpios, and air signs just naturally attract people

pisces can have the most EDGIEST humor. it’s not even edgy sometime just fucked up.

water and earth signs are touch-deprived, love-deprived, every-deprived. u name it and they’re deprived from it for sure.

the virgos, pisces and scorpios ik LOVEEEEEEE calling themselves pretty and hyping other people up (PISCES FOR SURE) and they absolutely deserve to

scorpio risings will always randomly leave or end up wandering around like a two year old

earth and water placements will EAT!!!!

air/water placements live for doing the purest/nostalgic shit like pinky promises, making friendship bracelet, watching the TV shows they watched as a kid yadda yadda yadda

capricorn moons and cancer suns can be very nice, mother-like, nurturing, etc. but they will stop that shit if u don’t take their advice and act like an ass!

air/capricorn moons been done w life ever since they were fresh out the womb

libra/air placements always have somebody harassing or trying to bully them

ex. 1 of my friends is always getting harassed/bad-mouthed by her teacher unprovoked and it’s so weird.

one thing a capricorn w aquarius and sag in their chart is gonna do is sit PRETTY ASF AND UNBOTHERED

ex. FLO MILLI AND TIFFANY POLLARD!!!

the sign u find annoying MAY be in ur big 6 or u have a lot of that sign in ur chart

ex. i have leo placements and leo suns???? absolutely insufferable

fire placements will say some shit then do the exact opposite of what they said

neptune in 4h are SCATTERBRAINED TO THE FKN MAXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

scorpio risings do be enjoying occult shit

a scorpio and aquarius duo may seem toxic and…it is..but it works :DD

idk it’s just me but cancer in ur big 6 automatically indicates crying when u argue w sb

to any placement this applies to (👁👁) stop explaining yourself u don’t owe anybody shit

u simply will not be able to understand the elements u lack the most cuz bitch u don’t have it!

ex. having 0 earth placements indicates u won’t be able to fully understand why earth placements do what they do, u may find them weird

i believe having a mix of two or more elements gives u the opportunity to connect w any elements

people w 8h, 9h, 11h placements don’t usually have in depth connects w people who don’t have those placements, they just aren’t fully understood

ima continue to get on virgo placements cases every single time cuz i swear y’all be hanging on by a thread and i honestly wanna cut that thread.

[mrkis]

WARNINGS//SPOILERS FROM PARTS 1 AND 2 (although im deadass sure everybody read those two chapters)

OKAY. OKAY. OKAY.

ISTFG. M. IM SCREAMING OVER HERE

I JUST READ PARTS 1 AND 2 OF TWLG (skipped the nsfw, im mildly clean) (the kiss scene in part 1 felt like a whole smut scene tho like holy fuck that was fucking HOT) AND IM DYINGGGGGGGGGGG HOLY SHIT

FIRST OF ALL. MC. I LOVE HER!? THE DYNAMIC BETWEEN HER AND ALL OF THE GUYS IS SO GOOD TO SEE, ISTFG IM KINDA PUSHING FOR MC AND YANGYANG OVER HERE BUT LIKEEEEEEE!!???!?! FDHSJKFAHKDA I LOVE YANGYANG TOO MUCH

MIWOO!???! OKAY. OKAY- MIWOO IS A BITCH, BUT SHE'S MY BITCH. SHE'S MY TYPE OF BITCH AND IM TOTALLY LIVING FOR IT BECAUSE SHE IS JUST A GODDAMN MOOD- ISTG I AM MIWOO IRL. I DONT THINK THINGS THROUGH AND I DEF JUST SCREAM THINGS OUT AND FEEL CRAPPY ABOUT IT LATER AND APOLOGIZE FHSDJKDLSAFD I LOVE MIWOO SO GODDAMN MUCH AND MY HEART IS ABOUT TO BURST I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER

haru. girlie. i love haru so much. she is like the therapist i never knew i needed until she like, HAPPENED. istfg... haru is such a nice friend and im living for it like whY CANT I HAVE A FRIEND LIKE THAT!???!? haru is so SWEET and haru + renjun moments just make my heart go mushy i love it so much (oMG WHEN HARU AND RENJUN SAID THEY WEREN'T DATING I WAS LIKEEEEEEEE BISHHHHHHHH STOP THE CAP WE ALL KNOW YALL ARE DATING LIKE BISH WHO YOU TRYING TO FOOL RN)

the boys. STOP. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE SHOTARO!??!?!??! TARO IS SUCH A SWEETIE AND LIKE OH MY GOD HE IS ABSOLUTELY SO GODDAMN CUTE ISTG FHDSJFKDSLYEWROR I BUST SUCH A BIG UWU THINKING ABOUT HIM

istg YANGYANG IS PROLLY MY BIAS IN THIS FIC AND LIKE FDHSJFLYWEREWRNEW,UIOWREW YANGYANG IS SO YES. LIKE. IDFC ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE SAY BUT YES. YANGYANG IS YES.

donghyuck honestly makes me laugh like LOUD like that man is a fucking walking sitcom like him trying to go for aisha and failing is probably the best thing i read in those two chapters (jk. EVERYTHING MIWOO DID WAS ICONIC AND DEF THE BEST PART IN THOSE TWO CHAPTERS <3333333333) like that rejection just made me laugh so damn much it was so goddamn funny

i feel like there was very little jeno action in the two chapters i read but like whenever jeno comes out he just honestly is kind of iconic.... like this man kinda just pops in here or there and he drops a comment about something and im in my seat (on the floor actually) wheezing my ass off istg

finally. na fucking jaemin. istfg.... im gonna cry. OMG. I SWEAR I STARTED SCREAMING AT THE END OF CHAPTER ONE WHEN HE SAID HE WANTED TO STAY SO BADLY?!?? LIKE ISTG I REMEMBER THAT PIECE OF DIALOGUE CLEARLY IN MY HEAD IT WAS SO NOT OKAY LIKE SIR WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL ISTFG WNEIDUWVWJSWOUEEVD

i gotta enter this universe and become miwoo's toilet seat with 🦦 anon goddammit

- 🎡

oh my fucking god this ask LMAOOO your freakout on discord made me laugh but this.. BAHAHAH

[kaepopsicle]

Hiiii! Ship your moots? your posts seems like u are clever with energies and that stuff :o i mean i can be wrong but it feels like it!

PFFT you’re quite sweet ! i have some sort of thing where I can sense peoples energies idek

butttt anyway

let’s get it

ill do like a couple of my moots and then if you guys want me to ship you then let me know and i will bc im literally on one hour of sleep and 3 cups of coffee bc im an responsible young adult :’D

ten & sarah @sarahbkwl

you know they have been my biggest otp, idk if it’s the pisces x pisces energy, but they’re both extremely artistic and intelligent individuals, not only that but they have this just beautiful way of living whether it be sarah going on walks in the dark just feeling the air and enjoying the world, or ten drawing and relaxing, expressing his emotions through his form of dance. it’s beautiful!not only that they give me the art hoe bf and egirl alt gf. It’s just hot, they would equal each other out so well 😭 not only that but he’s an infj & she’s an infp, which are very compatible, and them both being okay with hanging with friends but enjoy staying inside. they would probably spend their time playing on their switch, with music in the background, louis purring in their lap., cooper on the floor chewing a toy, just enjoying each other’s company, bc the silence of their breathing speaks so much louder and means so much more to them than the constant sound of talking

jae & sami @rr0zu

ugh this ship, they’re just so HOTTTTTTT

okie anyway, no matter what sami says i think that they’re quite compatible for each other, whether it be the gentle touches underneath the moonlight with cigarettes after sex playing in the background, gently spinning on the record player, much similar to ten and sarah they’re both extroverts, but chill ones, ones who when they go to a party they sit together and laugh, observing their loved ones and sorroundings, not needing to be the center of attention bc they just enjoy being apart of the group. sami is quite in independent person (same girl same) she’s a strong woman and idk something about jae just seems like he would be attracted to that. so getting into the astrological part of it, jae is an aquarius bc of course he fucking is, and she’s a sexc taurus 😩 i know for some people air + earth don’t match well but i personally think they match up very well, his free spirit, down to earth vibes fit so well with her independent, humble vibes

faye & taeyong @starrdustville

let’s discuss these two. okay? ooo a cancer 😩 Idk why but they would be super super super cute together ! Faye is such a sweet pure human that needs to be protected at all times, which yong would def be attracted to at first (water sign tings) but she also has this inner fire about her, could be her mc being in sag- who knows anyway but she has this inner passion about supporting others and making others believe in themselves and have their voices be heard that i think yong will find so so endearing! he would want to learn from her and grow, he would want him to lead him and show him these new things and show him her passions. but also since they’re both water signs they’re highly intuitive & compassionate, which means they will always be looking out for each other’s feelings. Faye will support yong and be a shoulder to cry on and a person to cuddle, while tae could protect Faye and help her with things she’s going through and let her know she’s not alone

hanna & taeil @himitsu-luna

oh my god, these two, it’s the Aries & Gemini couple, hmm which you wouldn’t think would work but it surpsingly does for them, taeil being a quirky, quiet, loving gemini while hanna is that pure hearted, nurturing, soft aries. they’re both introverts but okay with it, cold winter nights they would definitely prefer laying in bed cuddling, their soft fingers caressing the warm cheeks of your beautiful faces. it’s hard to explain but it’s like their souls are just on the same wavelength in life, it’s like they find each other again and again every lifetime.

ivet & mark @hunjins

OMG these two, another interesting astrology combo, virgo & leo. both are quite beautiful and humble. funny and a strong sense of justice, mark would definitely enjoy ivets cute quirks, he’ll find them adorable and these two would 100% laugh in the middle of the night at NOTHING and then continue to keep laughing bc they just keep talking and it just turns into a big mess and it’s too funny not to watch, their life will be a sitcom istg. anyway but i feel like mark isn’t super open but ivet is warm, comforting person it can help him trust and open up more :’)))

charlie & johnny @dundun-baby

now okay , i ship these two for a couple of reasons, they both have similar senses of humor, they’re both aquas, they both just have this magnetic energy about them that just make you want to keep talking to them, not only that but i feel like you would never have a dull moment with them, they’re so fun, kind, and just all around the light in people’s lives that you just can’t help but smile around them, which is why they would make an amazing couple bc you’re just always in a good mood with them, their energies would just equal each other so well that’s all i can say