#i need this f cutout

[hazelnutnebula]

ermm., your connection sucks so bad, stinko. get well soon~ ^_^

[heechwe]

not a bad thing | 𝖍𝖛𝖈

୨୧ pairing: hansol (vernon) chwe x fem!reader ୨୧ word count: 6.6k ୨୧ genre: fluff, smut ୨୧ tags: friends to lovers, light drug use, fingering, oral (f receiving), mutual masturbation, penetration, cockwarming. ୨୧ synopsis: Just because you've been friends for so long doesn't mean Vernon isn't keeping some secrets from you, and you're determined to confront him about it.

“Simple but still cute, or spontaneous and fun?” 

Vernon, sprawled out on his back on your bed, looks up from his phone screen in absolute confusion. He’s wearing a rainbow beanie with his plaid button-up and denim jeans, contrasting your leggings and baggy t-shirt. He always acts unaffected by how good he cleans up when he wants to, but you shake the thought out of your head and wait for his answer. “Come again?” he asks.

You’ve been holding out the red and black cropped, long-sleeve shirts for two minutes for your best friend to see. Maybe he would immediately pick one or take his time deliberating, especially with the cutout in the shirts’ centers meant to reveal hints of cleavage. However, the realization that his attention was stolen long ago by some meme in your friend group’s group chat has you huffing and flinging the shirts at the edge of your bed. 

It isn't the first time you've gotten nervous before a date, and it definitely isn't your first runaround with Vernon being out of touch with both his current and past conversations. Still, you value his advice more than anyone’s. Only you need it in an hour before your date arrives, and he’s being less than helpful. “Pick which one you like, idiot,” you whine.

“They’re literally the same shirt. The only difference is the color,” Vernon retorts. He rolls his eyes and resumes his endless scrolling.

“Exactly! I need to know which color you think I should wear. That way I give off the right impression.”

“And what impression exactly are you trying to give?”

“I don't know! Ready to have a good time but not looking to go too fast. Fuck, if only they had a shirt for that.” You rub your temple, contemplating if going on this date was the right decision.

The day Mingyu offered to set you up with his friend, you had half a mind to shut him down. His insistence on this blind date was too much to say no to, though, and going without any romantic or sexual interests for months seemed to take its toll on your resistance. While Vernon wasn't outwardly against the idea, he decidedly brushed it off with a disinterested hum and didn't mention it once until today.

Once he sees the defeat on your face, he caves, leaving his resting spot to grab you by the shoulders. It’s unsaid, but he practically asks outwardly for you to look him in the eye, so you do. “Listen. This guy is gonna like you no matter what color your shirt is. And you wanna know why?” You shrug, deflated. “Because anyone who can't see how hilarious and gorgeous you are is blind, and we don't hang out with blind people.” Vernon crinkles his eyebrows together and sighs. “You know what I mean. Like, metaphorically blind and shit.” 

You laugh. “Thanks, Han.”

You turn away from him to stare at the two shirts still spread out on the bed. “But back to this. Which color do you like more?”

After waiting a few seconds for his answer, you look over your shoulder. He’s miles away, lost in his thoughts again. The look in his eyes and etches of his face are traced with puzzlement, and when you call his name to get his attention and snap him out of it, it’s still there. No matter how hard he tries to hide it with a tight-lipped smile. “Black. Simple but still cute,” he says, his voice soft as he uses your words from earlier, proving he was still listening. 

Satisfied, you grab the top and turn, ready to make a beeline for the bathroom to get dressed. You stop short when you almost bump into Vernon on your way. It's only then you realize how close the two of you are. Less than a foot apart, to be exact. “I gotta get dressed, weirdo.” You try to sound humorous, but the breath accompanying your words sounds bated and unexpectedly airy.

In that second, all while you trace the outline of Vernon’s lips with your eyes, you wonder if maybe it would be so bad to skip the date altogether and do something else. Anything else. As long as you didn’t have to leave the house or Vernon.

“Right,” he whispers, but has no intention to walk closer to the bedroom door. Slowly, his eyes go a fraction wider than they normally do.

Like a silent cue, he steps away and fumbles over his words. “Okay well, good luck and—Sorry, I just—I’ll see you at Seuncheol’s after. You can tell us how it went. That is if you want to!” He stutters, right as he hits the back of his head against the door.

“Hansol! Are you okay—“

“Yeah! I’m fine!” He takes his beanie off to rub the sore spot. “Don’t worry about me. You don’t wanna be late. I’ll see you later!” He races out of the apartment, mumbling and clutching his head. 

While you curl your hair and put on your favorite pair of jeans for your date, your mind goes back to the look in Vernon’s eyes and the thoughts that raced in your head before he took off. And you speculate about what those two things mean, and if they mean anything at all.

“He didn’t even kiss you? What a dumbass.” Vernon mumbles, grabbing his mocha latte. He takes a vigorous sip, humming at the warmth it brings.

“I know. Now pass me a Splenda packet, please?” You pout. Well-adjusted adults would normally be at home and in bed at ten in the evening. But for you and Vernon, you decide on hanging out in your favorite late-night coffee shop for pastries and cold brew. It was better than sitting around at Seungcheol’s, the usual festivities of weed and alcohol not hitting the same way. You both settled on an alternative to fill your time instead.

“How did it go exactly,” Vernon asks, his voice garbled from the cheese danish he stuffed into his mouth.

“Well, I made it to the restaurant and he was there already, which was nice. But as soon as we started talking about ourselves, he was so flat.”

“What do you mean?” His eyebrow furrow, clearly confused.

“He was just very one-dimensional.”

“How so?”

“I mean, he was either talking about accounting, his accountant friends, or his work projects. Maybe it was better that he didn't kiss me. It might have been as boring as his capacity for communication.” You both share a laugh.

“So, I guess this means you don’t want a boring guy who presses his suits and plays golf on the weekends,” Vernon teases with a grin. You shove him playfully in the arm.

“That’s not the point! I mean, yeah, I don’t mind if a guy is serious, but I want someone who makes me laugh too. Who I don’t have to worry about liking my jokes but also sets a table or buys me flowers once and awhile.” You sigh.

While on your diatribe, Vernon grabbed your vanilla bean frappuccino. In a second, he has your straw in his mouth for a long sip. He smiles when he passes your drink back to you, unapologetic. “Someone who steals your drink for himself?”

You throw a napkin at him in retaliation. “I hate you!”

“Everything okay here, miss?” The barista asks, his name-tag shining against the dim lamps surrounding the cafe.

“We’re all good—Joshua—thank you.” You give him your best smile, to which he flashes his own at you. His teeth sparkle as much as his name-tag does, you think to yourself.

“Just Josh, please. The only one who uses my full name is my mother.”

You two exchange a chuckle, and you notice Vernon is not laughing or smiling at all. His eyes are mere slits, you can barely see the brown in his irises. His mouth follows in the same fashion, but downturned at the corners if anyone was paying close attention.

Joshua hands you a packet of chocolate-covered almonds, and he blushes. “They go really great with the frappes.”

“Oh thank you, but I didn’t—”

“It’s on the house. As long as you keep coming back.” Joshua turns to walk back to the coffee bar, suddenly tense as he leaves you and Vernon at your table.

Looking back to your best friend, you can see why. The original expression on his face has changed to pure anger. Vernon looks like he wants to blip the poor barista out of existence, and his long, hard stare in the guy’s direction might just make his wish come true.

“What’s wrong with you dude?” you ask Vernon directly.

When he turns to look at you, the stone in his expression softens a touch. “That guy seems like a creep.”

“He was just being nice!”

“He gave you a pack of nuts. Who does that?” He scoffs outwardly, and you can’t help but laugh. “What? You know I’m right.”

“Next time a cute guy gives me a snack, I’ll make sure you vet him first.” You wink at Vernon, but he remains hard-pressed. “Come on, don’t be jealous!”

“Of coffee boy? Please.” Vernon shrugs off your comment and crosses his arms. Something unreadable passes over his face for a brief moment. You would ask him about it, but you know the man is anything but overly emotional or easily vulnerable.

You try anyway. “Han, what’s wrong?”

He shakes his head and gets up to throw away his coffee, half unfinished. “Nothing, I’m fine,” he lies, looking away from you with a cold lilt to his tone. “Let’s get out of here.”

The sound of Vernon’s voicemail causes you to grunt in frustration, the beginning of the message you practically know by heart now. After the stint in the coffee-shop, Vernon walked you home without a word and hasn’t interacted with you since then. After being left on read for the past three days, you are all kinds of antsy. Normally, he would text or call instantly with a reason, but it’s been nothing but silence on his end. Your black phone screen makes you rub your temples. What did you do wrong?

“At this point we should send a carrier pigeon,” Lisa says with a shake of her head. 

“She’s got it bad, babe,” Hoshi comments with a wink in your direction. He kisses Lisa on the cheek on his way to their kitchen. 

When things went wrong, it was second nature to confide in Lisa and Hoshi. Two childhood friends turned dance prodigies and then inseparable lovers? They sounded like the plot of a bestselling romance novel. And admittedly, you wish you could find what they had. Why did you have to encounter so many red flags and road blocks?

“I mean, we all know you’ve been down for him for…three years now?”

“Shut up, Soon!” You exclaim, blushing. “I just don’t know why he’s gone AWOL on me.”

“Maybe he’s in a mood. You know him,” Lisa responds.

“Not like this. This is the longest we’ve ever gone without even sending an emoji to each other,” you say with a frown. You scroll through your conversation, the endless blue bubbles making your stomach sink further.

“He’s gonna be at Wooz’s tomorrow night for that party,” Hoshi says with the slam of the fridge door. You nod your head, already aware. Hoshi smirks. “Corner him there.”

Vernon was closer friends than you were with Woozi, someone you knew in passing because of his relationship with your best friend. But you had been to the guy’s apartment many times before. It wouldn’t be weird to attend, sans Vernon. Right?

“Fuck it,” you think out loud. “Lisa, can I borrow an outfit?”

The party is in full swing by the time you arrive. Chan answers the door with a grin, patting you on the shoulder when you step through the threshold. Woozi and Seungcheol are karaoke battling in Woozi’s living room while the rest of the partygoers are either drinking beer or in circles puffing and passing.

You decline when Minghao tries to hand you his half of a joint, a dopey grin plastered on his face. You want to be sober when you confront your best friend for leaving you in the dark for half of the week, even if you know it’ll take the edge off of your nerves.

When you find Vernon, he’s grabbing a hard lemonade from the spare cooler on top of Woozi’s counter. His eyes, the usual white around his irises pink from the party favors, go wide when he sees you. “Fuck me,” he says out loud.

“Yeah, fuck you is right,” you bite back. “Why haven’t you been answering your phone?”

His mouth is agape, giving no attempt to provide an answer. no answer. You get angrier the longer the seconds go by without one.

“Okay, how about an easier question: Why couldn’t you respond with a thumbs up or something when I asked if you were still alive?”

He runs a hand through his hair in frustration, another curse leaving his lips.

“Fine. Keep being weird about whatever the fuck is wrong. I wanted to try and make sure my best friend was okay, but he can’t even give me a solid explanation as to why he’s being a dickhead.”

Vernon takes your hand and walks quickly with you in tow. The people you pass move out of his way before they get body-slammed, some of them confused while others are too drunk or high to care. 

When you make it to a bathroom off of the hallway, Vernon closes the door behind you and locks it. He takes a second before turning to you with a solemn expression. 

“We can’t be friends anymore.” The words that leave his mouth break your heart to pieces and steal any semblance of air from your lungs. You didn’t expect to come into tonight and lose a friend, especially when you were unsure of what you did to cause Vernon to feel that way.

Your eyes begin to water with tears, but you don’t let them run over. “What the fuck do you mean?”

“I’m saying I can’t keep doing this.”

“Doing what?” Your voice grows thin. You’re confused how every word from his mouth sounds more sure than the one before while you’re falling apart.

But, even though he keeps up a composed posture, you can tell something inside of him is cracking. His bottom lip is caught in his teeth and his hands are fidgeting, two signs something is bugging him beyond his will.

“Please just tell me what I did wrong and I can fix it. I can’t help make this better if you don’t tell me what—”

In a second, Vernon has your back pinned against the bathroom counter. His lips capture yours in a bruising kiss, giving your quick gasp no time to leave your mouth. He swipes his teeth over your bottom lip while his hands roam from your waist to the expanse of your hips. Soon enough, his tongue is inside of your mouth. He holds your neck with one hand while the other sits on the back of your thigh, hitching it up to press your leg against his side. 

He feels the warm skin of your thigh in his palm and the center of your legs against him, making him groan. His touches and the sounds leaving him make you moan in kind into his mouth, and he swallows it blissfully.

When you separate for breath, you look deep into his eyes. Vernon’s expression brims with naked emotions, ones undecorated and unprepared, ones he cannot hide anymore. “If that’s the only time I got to do that when I’ve wanted to for so long, I had to make it count.” His confession should feel like a shock, something you were not ready for and quick to play off as an after effect of the joints he’s been smoking for the past couple hours, but it doesn't.

Instead, you accept it, with open arms and without a first or second thought to the contrary.

You soak in his words willingly, knowing for certain your heart wasn’t just wishing for someone. It was always wishing, comparing, waiting…for him. And now you have him, in this bathroom, terrified you feel anything less than what he feels for you.

Before he can step back, you take his hands in yours to prevent him from taking them off of your body. How could he think you could stop now? “Han, I need you to touch me more,” you whisper.

Vernon drops to his knees and rubs his hands up and down your thighs, his eyes requesting permission to hike up your skirt. Instantly, you nod.

He raises the denim up over your hips, meeting the cotton of your underwear with his mouth. As soon as his lips are on you, the cloth barely separating him from your clit, most of your coherent thoughts become lost to the wind.

Once he takes his fingers and moves your underwear to the side, you know you’re about to lose the breath in your lungs as well. His tongue licks a long stripe up your pussy, taking in the length of you with ease to maximize your pleasure. Your body quakes from how good he is at running his lips and mouth across you. You take in heavy breaths to try and steady yourself, but it’s no use.

Your best friend is eating you out too well and you have no idea how to function properly. You clutch his head with your hand and move your hips in time with the patterns of his mouth. The throes of your orgasm are so close, and it may just break you.

Vernon prods a finger at your walls, and you feel your body shake harder. “Han, I’m gonna come. Please don’t stop.” He hums against you and takes that as the green light to insert the digit completely.

A couple of strokes to the inside of your gummy walls and his tongue lapping at your clit makes you fall apart, whimpering quietly as to not have the people right outside the door hearing you climax.

Coming down, you sigh in pleasure. The sound morphs into breathless laughter. “I love you,” you finally say with a frail tone, but those three words have never been more true than right now.

The smile on Vernon’s lips revealing his gums and teeth is almost too radiant to stare at. It reminds you of butterflies, especially the ones that still flutter in the small spaces of your chest when he looks at you so reverently. Gently, he takes your cheek in his hand and says, “I love you too, pretty girl.”

You don’t leave the bathroom for another five minutes, spending that time in awe of what’s transpired and soaking in the feelings and love you’ve expressed to each other, all while you feel the bass of a Childish Gambino song beat against the bathroom walls.

The shuffle into your apartment is so quick you don’t hear Vernon close the door and lock it behind you. Even though you spent enough time pressed against each other in Woozi’s bathroom, the sticky and sweet feelings coming back to you in flashes, Vernon did not let go of your hand the entire walk home from the party. “It was so cold outside, I’m sure my nose is red.” Looking in the hallway mirror, you frown. “Yeah. I look like a reindeer.” You pout, falling into a fit of laughter. 

Vernon chuckles, releasing his hand from yours to place on your cheek, his fingers oddly warm. He kisses the tip of your nose lovingly. “You’re a cute reindeer, if that helps,” He says. Stepping away from you, he takes off his jacket and places it on the coat-rack. “A few minutes with the heater on and it’ll feel like summer in here.”

“Don’t make me sweat, weirdo.”

“I kind of already did, but noted.” Vernon smirks, and right after the next giggle leaves your mouth, you stop to watch him.

Despite knowing how he tasted and how the timbre of his laughter felt against your neck, you knew those things didn’t compare to the candid moments that made you love him. He didn’t take notice of the squinted shape of his eyes reading his phone screen, or even the press of his hand against your back to make you feel safe. But you did, every instance more clear than they’ve ever been before. They were so minuscule on their own, but when they were all stacked together in every year and tear and smile, it was a wonder how you didn’t know you fell in love with him so long ago. 

You don’t have to tell him you feel that way, though. He can see it in the stillness of your eyes, in the small and tender smile painting your mouth, in the red tint of your cheeks. He has felt the same too many times to count. You claimed his heart for all the reasons he claimed yours. Of course, it took you both almost half a decade to realize it.

He steps closer, a breath separating your bodies. Taking your hand in his, he kisses each finger before pressing his lips to the knuckles. You grin wider and rest your head on his chest. It’s a tiny marvel to feel the steady thrum of his heart against your ear, all the times being strictly platonic. Its tempo is a soft rhythm that has sent you to sleep on multiple occasions during sleepovers and movie marathons. Now, it’s as if the rhythm sounds different, beating with an entirely different meaning. You suddenly feel shy with him this close, the silent actions speaking for themselves.

“Are you tired,” he asks, lips brushing the curve of your scalp.

You shake your head. “No. I’ve never felt more awake.” You look up at him, a realization at the forefront of your mind. While you may have been together all night, and your mutual confession in Woozi’s bathroom was barely two hours ago, it feels like a world away since you last touched him. Intent, charged with what needs to be spoken and doesn’t, too vivid to go unnoticed.

Like the blunt release of a bowstring, it’s a sudden rush of lips gravitating to each other. The sensation is a mix of headiness and affection. In you, it’s the pull of your hands on the brown waves of Vernon’s hair and smiles slipping in between his kisses. For him, it’s the swipe of his tongue against your bottom lip to let him in, let him guide, and the reverence of kisses across your throat saying the words he knows are on your mind because they’re on his too. I love you and I want you and I need you and I don’t know how I’ll ever stop.

You make contact with the heat of Vernon’s skin when his sweater rides up, revealing the dips of his hip bones above the waistline of his pants. You spread your hands up and underneath the material to feel more of him, the warmth you desire, and the home that resides there. In his own desperate fingers, you realize he’s also exploring the places in you where he finds comfort and love.

The two of you stumble into the bedroom, caring almost as little as you did entering the apartment. You’re both so focused on each other the rest of your surroundings seem to be background noise, but Vernon does nod when you mention birth control. The back of your legs knock into the mattress, but you don’t mind with his lips at your neck, kissing and occasionally biting. He detaches his lips from your skin to tug abruptly on the hem of your skirt, wanting it gone. He rests his hands there, the request for permission clear. Once he takes it off, you raise your arms to let him remove your top as well. Once you’re clad in your undergarments, you help him with taking off his sweater in a haste, reaching for him again when the fabric finally falls to the floor. The renewed closeness seems to snap you both from your trance.

Your gaze reaches up to his eyes, and his are filled with patience and adoration. “We don’t have to rush, you know,” Vernon murmurs. He could easily let the time speed past him like he did earlier, certain there will be more moments like this to cherish at a slower pace. However, he can't deny he wants you as close as possible, determined to not let his words or actions go unsaid anymore.

You nod, running one hand against his chest while the other curls around the back of his neck. You place featherlight kisses to the column of his jaw as he unclips your bra. Each clip feels tentatively released, as though he’s slowing the two of you down like he wants to remember every moment. Maybe he feels this will only last until the morning, but little does he know that there's no way anyone or anything could be worth giving him up, not as a friend and definitely not as a lover.

He finally unbuckles his belt with determination and lets the metal clank on the wood floor. The only clothing left between you is your underwear, still damp from your previous activities, and his boxers. Immediately, you wrap your arms around each other when the busy work is finished, a clash of teeth and tongue following. A muddled moan escapes your mouth and reverberates against his throat when his groin brushes yours and his hands find your breasts. He rolls one nipple between his index and thumb while he squeezes your other breast with his opposite hand, teasing your skin with the pads of his fingers. The skin puckers and swells at his ministrations, the sensitivity between your legs growing again, wetness pooling there and leaving you aching.

The mattress dips underneath your weight when you fall onto it. You grip Vernon by the waist, but he only takes your hands away from his body and intertwines his fingers with yours. He’s all gravity, his seriousness palpable. The faintness of a smirk sits on his lips, but he shows no intentions of smiling. His boxers seem to grow tighter against him, but you don’t look away from his eyes. “Come here, Han. Please,” you whisper, spreading your legs wider, in hopes he can see how deep the ache he’s placed in every part of you goes. Vernon kisses each one of your palms before releasing them.

“Show me first. Show me how much you want me.” You bite your lip and use your hands to lower the cotton fabric of your underwear until it comes off. Your right hand trails up your body and lands on one of your breasts, squeezing and testing. No matter how you touch yourself, it doesn’t make up for the feeling of Vernon’s hands on your chest. His breath hitches when you press your opposite hand to your clit, a garbled moan unraveling on your tongue.

You tease yourself in small circles, enjoying the expanse of wetness you feel, and press your thumb to your clit again to make your hips roll. It feels like it should, a nice reprieve from the short time you’ve spent without any physical contact. But the lust-blown color in Vernon’s eyes, turning the brown irises that you love almost black, is what makes raspy sounds of pleasure leave your mouth. You want his hands instead of yours, as well as his mouth and his body on you, but his stare is enough to keep you going for him.

To amplify your torture even more, Vernon tugs at the waistband of his boxers until they fall at his feet, his cock fully erect. With the bottom of your lip stuck between your teeth, you run a finger up and down your slit at the thought of him on top of you, underneath you, and more. You release a whimper when he runs a hand up and down his cock, the tip swollen and leaking pre-cum already. You remain there together, sharing heady gazes and touching yourselves with slow and painfully gratifying motions, suspending all of the tension of the night into the air until one of you drops it. A loud, broken groan escapes him in response to the contact of his hand against himself and your body begging to be touched. If only he would let go and touch me, you think to yourself as you feel a satisfying clench in your belly.

“God, I can’t wait to be inside of you,” he says, the last words catching in his throat.

You stop to sit up and grasp the head of his cock, running your hand up and down the girth to replace his. It causes Vernon’s body to shiver exquisitely, and you revel in the way your touch affects him almost half as much as his affects you. You whisper, “You don’t have to wait.”

Those words prompt him into action, pressing his free hand to your cheek and diving for your lips. The two of you fall flat onto the bed, and when his tongue enters your mouth once again, you can’t hold back. You grind your body against his, feeling the press of his erection at your center. “Please, I want you to fuck me so bad.” In the midst of your arduous haze, Vernon’s mouth turns into a wide smile, one you forgot you could miss so much.

You laugh at the beautiful twinkle in his eyes, lust laced into the sound. “What?”

“Aside from you telling me you love me, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear those words”—he brushes an index finger along your lips—“come out of your pretty mouth.” You bite on the tip of his finger, and he pulls it away with a smirk. He replaces it with his lips, using his hand to align and direct the head of his cock to your entrance.

He has no desire to rush, though, a slow, languorous push of his hips to press his cock inside of you following a soft kiss to your temple. But with a sudden jolt of his next thrust that makes you yelp in pleasure, you can tell that desire is starting to wane. “Sorry,” he says, “fuck, you just feel—“

“I know,” you agree. He’s so patient and loving, but the way he fills you and drives in and out, you want nothing more than for him to grips your hips and make a mess of you. After trailing a string of kisses from his cheek to his neck as he continues trying to restrain himself with drawn-out thrusts, you say, “I don’t want you to go slow. We have time for that later.”

“I just—Are you sure?” His eyes reveal all of the yearning he has felt and the doubts that still linger in his mind, the exposure of his feelings almost too much for you to bear. You kiss his lips once again, hoping all of your reciprocated emotions pour out of you and into his reservations to drown them out.

“After tonight, I’ve never been more sure of anything.” Vernon nods and places his hands on your hips, the pressure exemplary. You wrap yours around the nape of his neck.

With a sharp and hard thrust, you moan into his mouth, loving how he pushes himself into you to the hilt. He continues his pace without slowing, loving the smack of his and your hips against each others’ and the way his body connects to yours.

“Fuck,” you whisper in unison, dragging your nails up his biceps and shoulders as he grips your hips harder. You may find bruised skin tomorrow morning, but at the moment, you love how tight his hold is on you. You wrap your legs around his lower back so he can angle his thrusts, and it feels like drowning and burning in the same breath.

From the chest to the hips, there’s an array of points where your bodies meet. With an overwhelming feeling of fullness pervading your body, you’re certain now there was never a time for anyone else to claim your heart when he had claimed it for his own long ago. You close your eyes to enjoy the thoughts bursting at the forefront of your brain alongside the build of your release, but the press of Vernon’s hand against your chin makes you snap your eyes open.

He pushes in deep, filling you to the brim once again, hitting the sweetest spot within you that has you digging the heels of your feet into his skin. You keep your eyes locked with his, but the way he presses down against your body and the new feeling of his hand against your neck makes it difficult to keep your focus on anything besides the profusion of sensations he’s giving you. You pull him in for a deep kiss, all while you push your hips back against his. This time, you capture a groan from his mouth with your lips. The hand against your neck shakes as his hips stutter, the established pace falling off.

In the midst of his lips being attached to yours, You notice the tinge of a whine accompanying his groans and how labored his breathing becomes. You press your fingers to your clit, rubbing circles into your flesh to follow him to his release with your own.

At this point, you cannot tell which sensation feels the best: Vernon’s tongue flicking against the roof of your mouth, his cock sinking into you, his hand pressing lightly against your windpipe, or the drum of your fingers along your center. Regardless, you love the filth and sweetness of each one, and how you’re sharing the same sensations with the man you love. It’s all you could ask for. You cry out when you finally orgasm. Clenching around him, you hold on to every second of the white hot bliss that coats every space of your skin.

Vernon lets out a long string of moans when he releases, filling you up and spilling inside of you. His thrusts come to a halt, pushing his hips one last time to milk what's left of his climax. Breathing fast, you press your forehead to his. Your heartbeats are drums, beating hard and clashing against each others’ tempos. With time pressed against each other, your bodies sticky and his cock still inside of you, they slowly find their way to a soft beat that compliment each other. Vernon huffs out a breath into the space of your neck, and you kiss his temple before he can raise his head and look into your eyes.

“I love you,” he says, panting, his face lit up in the dark. It’s as though he’s found rapture in the solace of your bed and in your arms, and you would not fight him on the sentiment because your smile mimics it tenfold.

“I love you, too.” You kiss him long and sweet, the damn taste of his mouth a new and unending craving.

He pulls out of you to grab some tissues from the bathroom, but not leaving without pecking your nose, which makes you giggle more than it should. He comes back to bed and wraps himself around you, and you breathe in his scent as he rubs soothing circles into your back. Despite that, you still yearn for more of his body against yours, too touch-starved to go back. “Han?”

“Hmm?” He asks, raising his head from the crook of your neck to look into your eyes.

“Could you…I don’t know,” you fumble, unsure of how to get your point across. In trying to find the right words, Vernon seems to understand as a small, boyish grin spreads onto his face. You two discussed your kinks lots of times, sometimes for the fun of it, and Vernon knew some of yours were based solely on your desire for connection and intimacy. And how could he say no to you now when all you wanted was to be close to him?

Wrapping a hand around his cock, he hisses from the lingering traces of sensitivity. He strokes himself a few times before he grows hard again and sinks himself inside of you. While he shudders from feeling you take him so well, he doesn’t roll his hips and you don’t rock back against him. You only press your bodies closer together, love and fullness coaxing you to sleep in tandem with the sound of Vernon’s heartbeat.

The sun bleeds through your curtains, and normally you would trudge to the window to close them shut and fall back asleep peacefully. This time, though, you don’t mind it when you see the rise and fall of Vernon’s naked chest in the sunlight, all while feeling his arms wrapped around you. You know you could watch him sleep all day, the gape of his mouth so kissable and the warmth of his skin calling to be savored. However, those thoughts come to a halt when the sudden desire to grab something to drink hits you. Hating to leave him, you press a soft kiss to Vernon’s temple.

You take an old button-up of his from your closet and tiptoe to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. You know your bed is a room away, but you gulp down the drink to make it there faster. Of course, when you walk back into your room, you see an awake Vernon with a hand propped behind his head. His eyes are droopy, but a sugary smile sits on his lips nonetheless, taking in your article of clothing. “Is that my shirt?”

You grin, a blush creeping on your face. “You left it here, so that makes it mine.” On some level, you had worried this morning would be awkward no matter how many times you had said you loved each other the night before. Still, the ease of falling into your shared banter and routine comforts you. 

“Point taken. You look cuter than I do in it, anyway.” 

Vernon pats the empty spot next to him you were previously occupying, and you have no qualms crawling back into it and into his arms. “Does that mean I can wear all of your shirts when I want? I mean, since I look so cute in them,” you joke, kissing several spots on his jawline.

His hand creeps up to your shoulder, and thanks to the lack of buttons fastened together, he slides the fabric down until one of your breasts peaks out. “As long as I’m the only one who sees you out of them.”

“I think we established that last night.“ You giggle into his neck. “But, to reiterate, yes. You’re the only one I’ll share all of my terrible jokes with, take with me to Taco Tuesdays, and get undressed for.”

Vernon smirks. “That’s what we do anyway, minus the last part.”

“Well, call it an added bonus then, since we’re in love and all.”

The laugh that leaves his lips stops your heart, and you wonder if it’s possible to pack away a sound in your mind for every good and bad day, just to recall this moment. “Deal.”

With that, he places a kiss on your lips as the sun continues gleaming through your window.

You spend the rest of the early morning that way, wrapped up in each other and not bothering to dress. After another post-morning sex nap, you two spend the rest of the day cuddled up on your couch with Chinese takeout, reminiscing about the past, but ready to find out where the future takes you both. Lucky for you, with the way Vernon looks into your eyes, loses his train of thought every time you kiss him, and finds it again when you smile, the future has the potential to be pretty beautiful.

[solaireverie]

cl16 | salute to me, i'm your american queen

pairing: charles leclerc x f!sargeant!reader

summary: [ social media au ] what the fuck is a kilometer?!?! or: charles and his girlfriend's adventures

warnings: language

faceclaim: elle fanning + pinterest

author's note: i can't explain this except that it was funny in my head. i should probably be working on the next part of deep blue but ehhhhhh. enjoy!

liked by charles_leclerc, logansargeant, vogue and 763,913 others

yourusername Overjoyed with becoming an official @.tiffanyandco ambassador 🩵 Shop the Formula 1 Commemorative Grand Prix collection on their website, now available worldwide.

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charles_leclerc so this is why you couldn't come to monza? 😨

↪ yourusername sorry babe it was scheduled in advance 🥲

user damn tiffany's marketing department really popped off with choosing THE y/n sargeant to rep this line 💅

↪ user like if you think about it it's really smart, y/n isn't just one of the most popular models rn, she's also directly connected to the sport bc of logan and charles

↪ user she is literally all i want to be in the best way 😤

logansargeant where's my charger y/n? i know you have it

↪ yourusername this could've been a text message logie boy

↪ logansargeant wtf don't call me that

↪ logansargeant also you haven't unblocked me yet from that time i stole your life-size cardboard cutout of charles and brought it to williams hospitality

↪ yourusername you're not helping your case here 😒

↪ carlossainz55 silvia was looking for that y/n 😱

charles_leclerc has added to their story

seen by yourusername, arthur_leclerc, pierregasly and 7,159,233 others

694,332 likes

f1wagupdate @.yourusername is in the paddock today for the US GP after being spotted yesterday in a hotel near the track! She has been seen in the Ferrari garage.

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user uhhh why isn't she in the williams garage???

↪ user uhhh probably cause she's dating a ferrari driver???

↪ user chill 😭 i'm sure she'll drop by

↪ user just say you're a hater and move on bro

charles_leclerc has added to their story

seen by yourusername, maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and 2,392,106 others

yourusername has added to their story

seen by logansargeant, charles_leclerc, landonorris and 1,985,274 others

logansargeant replied to your story

liked by logansargeant, landonorris, yourbestfriend and 4,128,293 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc Happy birthday my love 🥳❤️ I'm glad you had fun at your party 😉

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yourusername DELETE THE THIRD PICTURE

yourusername HOW COULD YOU

yourusername WHAT IS THIS BETRAYAL

yourusername count your days, charles leclerc

↪ logansargeant she just left the restaurant, i think you need to take her threats seriously dude

user charles is just like all the other sassy boyfriends out there 😂

user damn the road's looking real comfy tonight (i want what they have)

↪ yourusername oh dear don't do anything rash please 😭

↪ user this is why i love y/n lmao even when she's pissed at her bf she finds time to be the nicest human being ever

liked by charles_leclerc, logansargeant, yourbestfriend and 6,129,320 others

yourusername just a bit older 🤟

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gigihadid happy birthday darling 🥰

↪ yourusername thank you gigi!

logansargeant happy bday sis :)

↪ yourusername AWWWW LOGAN 🥹

user is charles still alive??? 😭😭😭

↪ yourusername who knows? 🤷‍♀️

↪ charles_leclerc i already said i'm sorry!!!

↪ yourusername do y'all hear something?

↪ charles_leclerc we're literally on instagram y/n... 😐

carlossainz55 y/n, charles says that he'll do anything if you'll talk to him again...

↪ yourusername he knows what i want 😪

liked by yourusername, logansargeant, lilymhe, deuxmoi and 9,120,163 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc Thank you for making my life so much better just by existing in it. I love you more than words can express. At the end of the day, you're who I want by my side. I'm so glad that I'll get to call you my wife for the rest of my life 🤍

💍 11.11.23

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yourusername je t'aime 🤍

likes and reblogs are appreciated!

masterlist | taglist: @boiohboii @vellicora

[lovebeinaprincessworld]

Another world (Neteyam x reader)

Masterlist

Description: Falling into a world you only knew from a movie wasn’t in your cards, but falling for Neteyam - maybe life dealt you the right ones this time.

Warnings: smut, oral (f receiving), p in v, breeding kind, talk abt getting pregnant, small wounds and blood, talk abt dead parents/grandparents (readers)

Neteyam is aged up to like 21, reader is abt 19, the humans never came back and there’s no spider bc you know I don’t like him ahaha

15716 words

It had been a normal day for you - until it hadn’t. You were on your way home from work, your shift in the dingy little kiosk finally over, and your small apartment was waiting for you. You thought of the empty room that was once your grandmas, who would’ve been waiting for you a few months prior, but now she was gone and you had no one left. She and your grandpa had raised you, when your parents had died in an armed robbery. You were so small you didn’t really remember them, and your grandparents didn’t like to talk about the horrible day their daughter and son-in-law were ripped from them but you saw the newspaper cutouts they kept, and your heart broke everytime you caught a glimpse of them.

They did the best they could with their limited resources and their old age, even if money was tight most of the time, you never once stayed hungry and always felt loved. But now that the both of them were gone, you were all alone in the world and without being able to afford a college education, your future looked really depressing. The only thing you were looking forward to after working was watching your crime shows and crocheting.

You turned left, only needing to cross through the small park now and you would’ve been home, but when you started to descend the stairs at the entrance you were startled by a bright white light at the bottom. Being your clumsy self, you missed a step because of the distraction, your hand not grabbing the (probably disgustingly dirty) handle quick enough and you were falling forward.

Cursing you squeezed your eyes shut, bracing yourself for impact and hoping that the light you saw wasn’t some kind of new human trafficking tactic. But instead of landing on the hard concrete, everything around you turned so bright you even saw it though your eyelids, and when the light suddenly stopped, and you were still falling and falling and falling, you forced yourself to open your eyes.

Your scream got stuck in your throat, on one hand from all the air that was blowing in your face, and on the other from the view that revealed itself. For a moment you forgot that you were falling towards it, and just admired what seemed to be an almost endless jungle, that glowed like the bioluminescent algae you once saw on discovery channel.

But then your brain seemed to catch up after all and you let out a bloodcurdling scream when you realized that - as beautiful as the sight was - it was also coming closer and closer really fast. The only question bouncing around in your head was ‚What the hell was happening here?‘

The canopy came closer and closer and just before you hit it, you squeezed your eyes shut again, shutting your mouth out of instinct and shielding your head with your arms. It hurt like a bitch, the twigs and leaves scratching and slapping you on your way down, but simultaneously you were glad you hadn’t hit the ground or a big branch yet.

The trees were slowing you down quite a bit, but suddenly you did hit the ground with a thud. You just stayed there for a moment, contemplating if you were dead, but then you noticed that the „ground“ you hit, was moving and making noises, and suddenly you were hauled up by your upper arms, and sat on the real ground.

„What the hell?“, someone grumbled from the left and you finally opened your eyes, the adrenaline in your body blending out the pain from your injuries. What the fuck. What the actual fuck! You were sitting on the ground, surrounded by what seemed to be characters from the movie Avatar, but this couldn’t be real, could it?

You had of course seen the movie, it had been a huge success when you were like 13 or something, but that was a fictional world! This had to be a dream or something - nope it wasn’t, you were pinching yourself so hard you were sure you would bruise and you were still there - or maybe you died when you fell down those stairs? Oh god, oh god they were staring at you and damn they were tall what were you supposed to do oh-

„Who the hell are you?“, asked someone you immediately recognized - your brain was digging for the right memories. „I-I’m (Y/N)“, you stuttered out, your eyes wide opened as you scanned the people around you. The one who asked your name was Jake Sully if you remembered correctly and next to him should be…Neytiri. You didn’t recognize the others, but they liked a lot younger, there were a girl and two boys, the older looking one sat on the ground next to you and you realized you must have fallen on top of him. Your brain wasn’t really catching up to what was happening, and they seemed just as confused.

„Where did you come from?“, Jake’s eyebrows were now furrowed like he wasn’t sure what to make of you. „I’m from…I’m from Chicago? I really don’t know what happened I swear, I was just walking back from work and there was t-that light and I fell down the stairs and then I was falling and falling and oh god this can’t be happening, this is only supposed to be a movie-”, you were panicking and rambling on and on until Jake and Neytiri exchanged a look, and he bend down, effectively shutting you up.

„Okay take a deep breath kid“, he urged you and you did your best to force air into your lungs, suddenly wondering why you could even breathe here. If you remembered correctly the humans couldn’t breathe on the planet in the movies, and almost out of reflex you looked down at yourself, a helpless and kinda pathetic squeak leaving your mouth when you saw you were blue. „What the hell, why am I blue“, you didn’t even care about all the scratches that adorned your skin, the only thing that registered in your mind was that you were the same color blue as the people around you, you were even wearing the same stripes, just your clothes remained the same.

Your breathing picked up the more you panicked and before Jake could try to calm you down again, you passed out.

—————————

Neteyam watched the girl fall unconscious, and caught her quickly before she hit her head on the ground. It was weird, almost like an instinct. Since she fell on top of him he was a bit dazed - partly because he was questioning where she was coming from - but also because he was charmed by your beauty.

It was confusing, there were lots of beautiful girls in his clan, but the one that seemingly fell from the sky (from a weird place called sheekago?) and laid in his arms, made his heart pound in an unknown way. Before he could dwell on it, his family interrupted his thoughts and he finally snapped out of it.

„You think the sky people came back ma Jake? Is she with them?“, Neytiri looked at the young woman with suspicion, but Jake only shook his head and slowly pointed to the atokirina floating down from everywhere, landing on you for a moment before spreading into the forest again. „Eywa“, Kiri whispered, and looked at the girl with a small knowing smile.

————————

You woke up and the first thing you noticed was the dull pain all over your body. You were confused for a moment, wondering if something happened at work for you to wake up like this, but then you opened your eyes and saw the brown ceiling of a tent, everything came rushing back to you. Oh my god, you were blue, you were a blue alien!

You contemplated just laying there, staring at the ceiling some more and maybe this would all turn out to be alright, but a head popped into your focus. „You’re awake!“, the girl grinned and you cleared your throat a bit, taking a deep breath (as not to panick again) and sat up with her help.

Your body resisted because of all the cuts, but you managed and noticed they had all been treated with some kind of ointment that was a bit cooling. „My name is Kiri“, the girl introduced herself and you mustered a smile, looking around the tent curiously, „How are you feeling?“

„Kinda hurts“, you sighed and she smiled at that. „Considering you fell from who knows where, you’re pretty lucky! Also lucky that Neteyam cushioned your fall“, she grinned a bit, and you figured he must be the young man that sat next to you in the ground earlier. „Ugh that must’ve hurt too, is he okay?“, you worried that your first impression in this new world (or parallel universe or whatever) was already a bad one.

„My brother’s fine don’t worry“, she reassured you, „I’m going to get my dad, he said to tell him when you wake up!“ She gave you one last nod, before disappearing out of the tent and leaving you alone with your thoughts. This really didn’t feel like a dream, and you were starting to feel like it was a more permanent thing, but you were forcing yourself to stay calm.

Was ist really so bad? You didn’t particularly enjoy your life back in your universe or on your planet or whatever, so maybe this would be okay? Of course you had a few friends, but you worked so much to make ends meet, that you barely saw them, but other than that there wasn’t much.

You sat there and tried to rack your brain for any helpful details from the movie you would need, but you felt like the plot itself must already be like 20 years in the past here if your guess that Kiri is Jake’s daughter is right. You remembered the people living here were called Na‘vi and that they won a war against the humans and most of them left except for a few allies (you remembered the face of that one science guy that came here with Jake in the movie).

And of course you remembered the love story between Jake and Neytiri, which means if Neteyam is Kiris brother, he is also their son. „Hey there“, you were startled out of your thoughts by Jake, he was already kneeling next to you, but you must’ve been so lost in thought that you didn’t notice. „Oh! Hey“, you smiled timidly, not sure what would happen now, and suddenly well aware that you were practically defenseless and they could just abandon you in the jungle.

„I hope you feel a bit better?“, he started the conversation and you just nodded, a bit shy under the leaders gaze. Suddenly another woman entered the tent, and after a second your brain pulled out a name that sounded right - Mo‘at. „Is she feeling better?“, she asked Jake, a strict look on her face, making you shrink a bit.

„She hadn’t got a chance to answer yet“, he grinned and you immediately relaxed with his layed back attitude. „I do“, you nodded and hugged your knees to your chest for comfort, „still hurts a bit, but it’s better, thank you.“

„Do you think you can walk? Maybe we can figure out what happened over dinner, hm?“, Jake rose from his squatted position and held out a hand for you, and you nearly flinched when you saw that your own hand reaching for his was blue. You definitely had to get used to that, and you also would like to look into a mirror sometime soon.

You silently followed behind him, you knew he probably adjusted his pace to yours, you were really slow and limping a bit. Plus you were simultaneously taking in everything around you in wonder - it looked just like in the movie, but even more beautiful and majestic. It seemed to still be nighttime, so you couldn’t have been passed out for long, and you were overwhelmed by the glowing flora and fauna.

You were so distracted that you didn’t notice Jake stopped and you ran straight into his back. „Oh sorry“, you blushed and looked down, god could you make any more of a fool out of yourself? „Don’t worry kid“, he reassured you, and then pointed upwards into the big tree you were standing infront.

„For familydinner we have to climb up there, you think you can manage? Just follow my footsteps okay?“, you wondered if that was the military man speaking - wanting you to climb a tree when you had just fallen from the sky - but you had no choice, so you did your best. Jake was way quicker than you, but you did make it at least halfway before you cuts and bruises were taking too much of a toll on you.

„I’ll get her“, you heard quietly from somewhere above, Jake was already out of sight - it seemed like his muscle memory kicked in and he forgot about you until he was up there. You didn’t dare look down, you had always been a bit frightened of heights and were trying to hold on to your courage. Your heart was still thrumming in your chest and almost leapt out of it, when suddenly a tall Na‘vi landed next to you.

You bit back a frightened squeak and looked up at the familiar figure with big eyes. Neteyam. The one you fell on top off. Ugh, talk about embarrassment. „Are you alright?“, he asked, and it was the first time you heard his voice, since you passed out in the forest before you could. It was rich, dark but more sultry than his dads and made a shiver run down your spine involuntarily.

„(Y/N)?“, he smirked a bit and you couldn’t help but notice he remembered your name. But then you realized he was waiting for an answer and you were staring at him like an idiot. „Oh sorry! Uhh yeah, I’m just not used to climbing trees, plus I still kinda hurt all over“, you grimaced and looked up at him. It was crazy how you seemed to be in a Na‘vi body yourself now, but he was still towering over you by more than a head.

„Yeah my dad is like that sometimes, he forgot he was supposed to help you up until he was already at the top“, he chuckled making, „I’ll help you.“ You agreed and thought he would just pull you up now and then, but instead he firmly but still mindful of your injuries, hauled you onto his back and climbed the tree with you clinging onto him in shock.

You were up there three times faster than you were climbing before and he carefully set you down in the hut that was build in the tree. „T-thank you“, you were beyond flustered, you remembered - and saw here - that the Na‘vi had no problem with lots of naked skin, but only wearing a torn up summer dress and being pressed to Neteyams muscular back made you blush.

„You’re welcome sevin“, he grinned, but before you could ask what that meant, you were interrupted by his family. You swallowed and shrunk under their gazes, but you kind of felt safe with them, so you settled down around the food and started taking.

—————————

„That is crazy“, Lo‘ak was the first to break the silence you ended your story about what happened. And god was he right, it really was crazy. „Like I told you, it was Eywa“, Mo‘at looked a bit smug that she had been right from the start it seemed. It made the most sense that Eywa sent you here - considering the light, that you didn’t fall to your death and the atokirina the Sullys told you about.

You knew all their names now, Jake and Neytiri had Neteyam, Lo‘ak and Tuk, and Kiri was Grace‘ daughter - adopted by them. They were still speechless from what you had told them, reciting a summarized version of the movie to prove you were telling the truth and they didn’t know what to say.

„I think we should all probably sleep on this, it was a really long day“, Jake pulled everyone out of their thoughts, earning nods from everyone and and uncertain expression from you. Where would you go?

„Come on, you can sleep in my hut for now“, Kiri beckoned you to follow her and you were relieved they didn’t move you somewhere else, somewhere you would feel even more alone than here. „Thanks“, you told Kiri and then turned to the other Sullys, „and thank you for dinner and helping me!“ The Sullys wished you a good night, but only one particular pair of eyes on you made your heart speed up.

—————————

You had tried to keep it together the first few nights, thankfully falling asleep as soon as your head hit the hammock, because you were so exhausted. But it seemed like today it really sunk in that this would probably be your life from now on and you’d be here for the rest of it too.

You had been turning in your hammock too many times already trying to find sleep, so you finally gave up when the loud jungle noises drove you crazy and as quietly as possible snuck out the hut and onto the small platform in front of it, sitting down with your legs dangling in the air.

And then came the tears. It wasn’t that you were overly sad or missed your old life, it was just so so much to take in and so insanely overwhelming (you were blue for gods sake!) that you just couldn’t keep it together in that moment. And maybe you were mourning your old life a bit, but who could blame you for that - all the memories connected to your grandparents possessions, and maybe even your shitty job and apartment.

Trying to cry silently, you winced when someone sat next to you. „You okay?“, Kiri asked, bumping you gently with her shoulder in sympathy. „Yeah“, you tried to wipe your tears away, but she already saw them.

„And now again, but with an honest answer“, she squeezed your arm in encouragement and the tears were falling freely again, „are you okay?“ „Not really“, you sobbed, and to your surprise she immediately took you into her arms, making you feel comforted.

„You miss your home?“, she asked quietly while looking out into the glowing forest. „A bit, but not really it wasn’t a nice life I had there it’s just…a lot of change“, you mumbled and she hummed in understanding, continuing to hold you til you had cried it all out. Maybe that was what you needed in the first place - just to let it all out once and for all.

—————————

It had been almost two months already, and you were settling in as much as you could. You didn’t really miss your life back where you came from, putting your handcraft-skills to use was so much more fun than working in that dingy little kiosk. Plus, eventhough you didn’t have that many friends here, you were really close with Kiri and she was a much better friend than yours back at home. You two bonded over being kind off the weird girls of the clan, her with her deep connection to Eywa and you being the demon girl who fell from the sky.

It took some time getting used to your new body, you had looked into a mirror the second day you were here, and it surprised you that you still kinda looked like yourself, but you also didnt. You liked it though. The tail took some more time, as did the ears, because they more often then not acted without your permission and betrayed how you felt. But in true Omaticaya fashion, you were wearing the traditional tweng and chest covers (eventhough you felt a bit exposed at first), first borrowed from Kiri, but she quickly showed you how to make your own.

Other than Kiri, only Lo‘ak, Neteyam and of course little Tuk were honestly nice to you. The other Omaticaya girls your age either thought you were weird because of where you came from, or they seemed to dislike you because you interacted with Lo‘ak and Neteyam a lot - at least that’s what Kiri told you. You had just laughed at that, they were both nice and handsome of course and you might even have a little crush on the oldest Sully, but from what you’ve learned over the last months, he was the most sought after bachelor of the clan, so no way would he be into some former human who spend her day weaving with his little sister.

The Sullys (weirdly enough even Neytiri) took you in and Kiri didn’t mind sharing her hut with you for now. All the older Sully kids had their own smaller huts in the trees surrounding the family’s main one, so they had privacy until they moved out once they found a mate. They were all old enough to choose one already, but neither had picked one yet.

You on the other hand were reluctant to think about a future here, because you never knew if one day you would encounter that bright light again and be swept off back to your own world. You tried to blend that out in your everyday life here, but it was always looming over you.

The only thing you were missing from earth were books. Like, you loved going swimming with Tuk, foraging with Kiri or strolling through the forest with Neteyam when he wanted to show you something. But when you were alone, you really missed reading a good book. Which was why you were currently one the way back from the human outpost, having exchanged the book Norm gave you a week ago for a new one. Weirdly enough they actually did have quite a lot physical copies of books, curtsy of Grace from what Norm told you.

It was almost eclipse now, the forest starting to awaken in bioluminescence. Uh oh, this wasn’t good, considering you went alone when you shouldn’t have (but you didn’t want to bother anyone) and now you weren’t even halfway back to the village with nothing to defend yourself if you stumbled upon a predator.

Clutching the worn out copy of ‚Twilight‘ to your chest, you hurried along the familiar path and just crossed your fingers you would be fine and no one would find out you went alone. Eventhough your ears were alert, you were still tremendously startled when Neteyam suddenly landed infront of you. You stopped in your tracks as not to run into him and let out a frightened sound, before realizing who it was.

Oh no, he looked kinda angry. „What do you think you’re doing syulang?“, he sounded accusatory and eventhough you started to get a hang of the language, he refused to tell you what the little nicknames meant he called you. Consequently his siblings refused to aswell when you asked them, but not without giving you a stupid grin.

„I-I just wanted a new book?“, it sounded more like a guilty question then the innocent answer you wanted it to be. „Alone?“, you could see he was gritting his teeth trying to stay calm. „I didn’t want to bother anyone, it’s not that far! You didn’t have to come looking for me we’re almost there anyway“, you tried to protest weakly, eventhough the thought that he noticed you were gone and came looking for you (and knew you good enough to know where to look) made your heart race pathetically.

„Good thing I did though“, he raised an eyebrow and suddenly threw a small knife into the bush next to you, an animalistic howl ringing in the air before it was silent, „there was a stray viperwolf following you the last few minutes.“ Okay, maybe he was right after all and you really shouldn’t wander of too far on your own, especially not in the dark.

„Thank you“, was the only thing leaving your lips and Neteyam just rolled his eyes. He could never stay mad at you, even if he was angry with you for being so careless with your safety. Eywa, he really had a weak spot for you. Even now, looking so guiltily with your eyes glued to the forest floor, he thought you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Ever since you fell on top of him, his heart felt like it was fate that you came into his world. He could see his siblings were suspecting his infatuation with you - considering their glances and smirks. But he couldn’t help that he was protective, even if his siblings giggled when he told them he was going to search for you earlier.

He was glad he did though, he didn’t want to think about what could have happened to you. Plus showing off in front of you was an upside too. „Come on, let’s get you home“, he ushered you forward, not able to resist his tail slipping around your thigh. Your own tail swaying behind you restless as a reaction made him smirk.

—————————

„That’s really what the book is about? That’s crazy“, Kiri laughed while you two walked to communal dinner. Most of the time the Sullys ate here with the rest of the clan, only sometimes would they eat in private. „Don’t judge before you read it“, you chastised her with a grin, but you got her - especially in this world a love story about vampires must sound insane.

You two settled down in your usual spot at the edge of the busy clearing, waiting for the hustle to calm down a bit before getting your food. „Yeah, no I’m defiantly judging. But to your credit, if you read something like that you must really be a hopeless romantic“, she dramatically held her heart and fanned her face in mockery, making you giggle and pinch her side.

„Who’s a hopeless romantic?“, a familiar voice interrupted your conversation, making you blush immediately. „Not me“, Kiri said with a grin, and when she saw what her brother was carrying it got even wider. „It’s nothing“, you just shook your head and your heart jumped a bit when Neteyam sat down next to you. He normally ate with the other hunters or his friends, and sitting next to him made you incredibly nervous. Especially because of all the eyes on you.

To your relief everyone minded their own business relatively fast again, and you noticed Neteyam was looking at you. „What is it?“, you were curious now, looking up into his kind eyes, ignoring Kiris chuckles. „Here, I brought you dinner“, you only now noticed he had two leaves with freshly cooked meat on them in his hands.

„Oh thank you!“, you were suprised, but kinda glad you didn’t have to make your way though the crowd yourself. „It’s from the hunt today, I brought the sturmbeest down by myself“, he smirked, and you nodded trying to seem impressed. You weren’t really in the hunting game plus you weren’t even sure what a sturmbeest looked like yet, but it was cute how proud he was.

„Wow, that’s cool! Thank you“, you smiled at him in appreciation and he gave you a blinding smile. „Nothing for me brother?“, contrary to what she said, she didn’t look mad - she was wiggling her eyebrows with a grin. „Ahh get lost Kiri“, Neteyam waved his hand in a dismissive gesture, but he actually seemed a bit embarrassed - was he blushing?

Kiri just rolled her eyes and left to get food, leaving you two alone. „What was that about?“, you smiled and he gave you a roguish little smile. „Nothing yawne, just eat“, he urged you with a gentle hand on your elbow that made your skin tingle. Huh, that was a new nickname, you wondered what it meant.

—————————

You shouldn’t have let Lo‘ak convince you. But you wanted to see an ikran so bad! You hadn’t wanted to ask anyone in case it was like something private or sacred not to be shared, but when Lo‘ak offered to take you to see his ikran when you were both in the village bored out of your mind, you had only needed a bit convincing to leave without telling anyone.

You werent sure if you really weren’t allowed to go, but Neteyam always seemed hell bent on keeping you from each and every risk possible, so you assumed that extended to encountering an ikran.

„Come on (Y/N) don’t slow down!“, Lo‘ak always seemed to have an infinite amount of energy and you did your best to keep up with him without falling on your face. „Are we almost there?“, you called ahead, just narrowly avoiding a branch that would’ve knocked you in the head otherwise.

„Yeah just a bit ahead“, he called back and you rolled your eyes - this was the fourth time he said that. But it seemed like he was telling the truth this time, because you broke out of the treeline and stopped on a wide open cliff, looking out onto the hallelujah mountains.

„Wow“, you were amazed by the sight, Lo‘ak grinning cheekily at your stunned face. „Pretty cool, huh?“, he asked, bumping you with his shoulder and you only nodded. Your brain couldn’t make sense of the flying rocks, making it even more magical.

Lo‘ak suddenly whistled and after a moment or two, a mighty beast shot upwards from the abyss infront of the cliff, startling you so much you let out shocked yelp. Lo‘ak snickered at his successful attempt to mess with you - and then his ikran landed infront of you.

It was towering over the two of you, screeching at Lo‘ak like a greeting and eyeing you with alert. „He’s a sweetheart, just don’t look into his eyes“, he was already petting the dragon-like creature. You immediately averted your eyes towards the ikrans body rather than his head.

„Come here slowly“, Lo‘ak motioned for you to move closer and you did, trying to keep calm as not to startle the creature who could probably eat you with two bites. „Here“, he smiled when you were standing next to him, taking your hand and laying it onto his banshee, the creature not startled by another hand on his back.

It felt similar to a snakes skin, but the colors were even more intense up close. „This is so cool“, you breathed and could almost feel his proud smile. You knew it wasn’t always easy for the younger Sully, but it made you happy how carefree he seemed in moments like that.

„Neteyam might kill me when he finds out, but you wanna go for a ride?“, he grinned mischievously. „Are you kidding? Hell yes!“, you nodded in excitement, infected by Lo‘aks troublemaker vibe, the thought of messing with perfectly correct Neteyam a bit (even if you thought that part of him was adorable) making you grin too.

„Come on then!“, he hopped into his ikrans back with ease, pulling you up behind him. „Hold on tight!“, was the last warning he gave and then you were off, flying and maneuvering the hallelujah mountains with excited squeals and shocked gasps when Lo‘ak wanted to show off.

„This is amazing!“, you called, taking in the otherworldly view around you and the thrilling feeling of flying on a banshee. Lo‘ak only laughed, and suddenly dipped down straight, making you squeak in terror.

It had been about an hour or so, when he suddenly stiffened a bit. „Uh oh, the fun police“, he groaned, and when you looked over his shoulder you saw Neteyam on his ikran, a bit farther away.

With a sigh, Lo‘ak was making his way over to the cliff where you started from, landing there and helping you down before bidding goodbye to his banshee. As soon as he was gone, Neteyam landed. His ikran was a mighty beast, even bigger and a bit meaner looking than Lo‘aks and the rider himself looked just as mad.

„What are you two doing here?“, Neteyam was addressing Lo‘ak right away, not even looking at you, and to your shock he was basically seething. „We were bored so I offered to show her my ikran“, to his credit Lo‘ak didn’t even flinch under his brothers angry glare, only rolling his eyes.

„Why do you always have to do the things you’re not supposed to?! Take things that aren’t yours?! Putting others in danger?!“, Neteyam was basically shouting, and even Lo‘ak looked a bit startled by his brothers intense reaction.

„Neteyam it wasn’t his fault“, you tried to calm down the older Sully, but it only seemed to work a bit when you gently squeezed his upper arm. „Yeah sooo I’m gonna go“, Lo‘ak took the chance to dip now that Neteam was distracted for a second and Neteyam almost went after him if it hadn’t been for you hanging onto his arm.

„Don’t be like that, he just took me flying. I don’t think I was ever in any real danger“, you tried to look as innocent and sweet as possible as not to get yelled at too. Neteyam looked down at you for a moment, scanning you over once and then sighing, losing all the tension he previously had.

„Yeah you’re right, it’s not really about the risk, it’s just that…“, he started but let the sentence hang in the air, turning his head away from you and you were wondering what was happening. „Come on, you can tell me“, your hand slipped down his arm almost on its own, taking his hand in yours and making him look back at you.

„If you wanted to see an ikran why didn’t you ask me?“, he looked a bit embarrassed when he finally spilled what he was bothered by and you were taken aback for a moment. „I didn’t necessarily want to see an ikran, I was just bored and Lo‘ak was free - if you would’ve been around I would’ve asked you Neteyam“, you didn’t know why exactly he was so bothered by Lo‘ak taking you to fly.

„You…wanna meet mine too?“, he motioned to the beast behind him with his head and a hopeful glint appeared in his eyes. „I‘d love to“, you agreed, happy to see his spirits lifted again, „but makeup with Lo‘ak later okay? And don’t be so hard on him.“ He begrudgingly agreed while pulling you over to his banshee, who didn’t look so mean anymore now that his rider wasn’t angry either.

—————————

Every once in a while the Sullys had family dinner together in their hut and not in the communal area with the rest of the clan, just like tonight. It was a bit chaotic but you loved it - and you especially loved that they naturally involved you as part of it.

Everyone was there already except Neteyam, and you were settling down in the middle of the hut, the food laid out in the middle. Lo‘ak was still in the corner, filling his waterskin, and was about to make his way to sit in the free place next to you, when his older brother came in, a bit out of breath.

„Sorry I’m late, incident at training“, he explained, and you had to look away quickly before your gaze would get caught on his flexing muscles as he laid down his bow. Kiri next to you snickered - she had known about your crush on her older brother ever since she saw you ogling him when all of you were at the river.

You didn’t really catch what happened next, only seeing Lo‘ak who was almost standing next to you, about to sit down, and suddenly it was Neteyam who sat there (closer than his brother would’ve ever sat), and a grumbling Lo‘ak was walking away to sit down next to his mother, who seemed amused by her eldest behavior.

Before you could dwell on it too much, your train of thought was interrupted by Jake, but the way Neteyams thigh brushed yours when he helped you to some food (he was such a sweetheart), before helping himself to some, distracted you significantly.

„So (Y/N) tell me, as a former human yourself, what do you miss most about earth, like foodwise?“, Jake addressed you with a grin. The topic of earth was the thing the both of you bonded most over and next to the actual humans here, it was nice to have someone who could empathize with your situation a bit closer. Plus, Jake loved playing these little games with you, even if you were kind of from the past - at least from his perspective.

„Uh that’s a hard one“, you had like a million foods and drinks you missed from earth you missed, „if I had to pick like top 5 I’d probably say Ice cream, Sushi, cheesecake, coffee and maybe a nice cold coke.“

Jake nodded like he approved of your choices and then added, „only thing I’m really really missing is an ice cold beer.“ It was so funny to see the confused looks of the other family members, and maybe that was what actually prompted Jake to talk about this, you thought with a grin.

„Or a bag of chips and Guacamole“, you added and the both of you were laughing while Neytiri fondly rolled her eyes and the siblings just continued eating in confusion. „I’m glad you have someone to play your stupid little games with other than the sky people ma Jake“, Neytiri acted like she was annoyed by Jake’s antics, but you could tell she loved exactly that about him.

The conversation shifted from human food to the training incident Neteyam talked about earlier, but you didn’t really listen, because you were concentrating on eating your food without chocking when Neteyams tail wrapped itself around yours.

———————————

„Come on (Y/N)!“, Tuk beckoned you into the water she was already splashing around in and with a grin you joined her there. All of the Sullys were busy today, so Neytiri had asked if you could accompany Tuk to the Lagoon she was begging everyone to go to for days. It wasn’t that far, so it was safe, Tuks mother reckoned.

„Wanna see how good I can jump?“, Tuk was so excited to finally come here, that she was bouncing around like crazy, but her enthusiasm infected you too. „Of course! Show me!“, you laughed with her, sitting on a rock that was only a little submerged in the lagoon - you could see her jumping from the boulder perfectly from there.

It went on like that for a few hours, the two of you hanging out by the lagoon, talking, laughing and you even decorated her hair with little flowers. It made you a bit nostalgic, back on earth - if you would’ve had the money for college - you would’ve loved being a kindergarden teacher and hanging out with Tuk kinda made you wonder if you were to have your own children some day. You tried to bury the thought of her older brother as their father just as quickly as it came.

„Hey you two!“, as if you had summoned him, Neteyam strolled out of the bushes and Tuk excitedly leapt of the rock you two were sitting on, swimming over to her brother. „Neteyam!“, she threw herself into his arms wet as she was, but he didn’t seemed to mind and only caught her with a loud laugh. Damn, that didn’t really help stifle your previous thoughts.

„You’re having a good time?“, he smiled at her and she nodded vigorously, already moving around to be let down from his arms. „Yes! I wanna show you how good I can jump now!“, before he could even answer, she already ran over to the boulder she was jumping from the last few hours. „Give me a second, I’ll watch from over there“, Neteyam called out to her and when he pointed to you, and dived headfirst into the water like a pro, you had to admit you got a bit wet in your tweng.

He surfaced right in front of you and you could only look at him with a flustered expression - you didn’t think you would ever forget his smirking face right in front of your slightly spread legs. Before you could slip further into a naughty fantasy, he moved to the side and pushed himself up and you had to force yourself to move your eyes as to not ogle his wet and muscular body.

„Neteyam! Neteyam look!“, Tuk screamed before jumping into the water head first and the both of you laughed at her enthusiasm. „I don’t get how she has so much energy, she’s been doing that for hours“, you smiled and shook your head in disbelief. „Yeah, sometimes I wish I had that much energy too“, he grinned and playfully bumped your thigh with his.

God, the size difference between your kinda squishy one (you reckoned you had some human features because the female Navis were all corded muscle) and his thick muscular one was making you flustered, especially when he didn’t pull it away, instead keeping it pressed to yours.

„You did great Tuk!“, Neteyam called over to his little sister who had just emerged and tried to calm his racing heart at feeling you pressed up right next to him. He had waited for you to settle in fully, and it took some time for him to sort out the things you made him feel, but he decided he couldn’t wait anymore and started courting you when he heard the other male hunters talk about making a move on you. The thought alone made his tail move over yours.

Tuk continued showing of her jumps, while Neteyam worked up the courage to give you his gift. You had accepted the meat he gave you at dinner yesterday, the one he had hunted for you, so you should also accept the necklace he made you, but he was nervous still. Taking a deep breath, he fished the jewelry out of the little bag that was strapped to his loincloth and turned a bit towards you.

„I made something for you“, Neteyam said next to you and you averted your eyes from Tuk to look at what he meant. In his hands laid a beautiful necklace out of thin leather stripes with what you identified as gemstones braided in, and it looked almost identical to the one he was wearing. „Really? You made that for me?“, you looked up at him .

Neteyam had to remind himself that his little sister was still jumping around happily a few feet away, otherwise he would have kissed you on the spot. „Yeah“, he was breathless from the way you were staring up at him and the anticipation of your answer to his offering. „It’s beautiful 'Teyam. Can you help me put it on?“, you smiled at him and he almost lost his grip on the necklace when you called him that nickname.

„Of course“, the grin his face was sprouting was making your heart feel like it was expanding in your chest, so you quickly turned around for him to fasten the necklace. His fingers gently brushed your hair to the side and left a path of tingles in their way. The necklace was more like a choker and considering it was a gift from him, the thought sent a slight shiver through you.

When you turned around again, the way his necklace sat snugly against your pretty throat satisfied some primal side of him. Everyone could see who they had to answer to now if they decided to make a move on you, he thought with a smirk. „Thank you“, your pretty blush made him go feral and when you took his hand and squeezed it, he would’ve kissed you - if it hadn’t been for the water suddenly showering you two. „You aren’t even watching!“, Tuk complained, pouting in the water a few feet away.

——————————

„Pretty necklace you got there“, Kiri was smirking at you the next morning, when her, Tuk, Lo‘ak and you went foraging - but instead sat on a clearing and talked. „Oh thanks, 'Teyam gave it to me“, you smiled, your hand automatically reaching for the chocker like it had done many times til he gave it to you. „Teyam?“, Lo‘ak was grinning mischievously and you could feel yourself blush.

„You’re so in love it’s almost disgusting“, Kiri laughed, and you were rendered speechless for a moment. „I think it’s cute! When you two are mated, you’re our sister, that will be so cool!“, Tuk seemed excited, but you looked at them with wide eyes. „Why would we be mated?“, you pressed out and they all paused in their teasing.

„What?“, Kiri asked confused, „what do you mean? He’s been courting you for the last two weeks.“ She was looking at you like it was selfexplanatory. „He’s been what?!“, your voice took on a shrill note and you sat ramrod straight. „He hunted that sturmbeest for you and brought you the meat, sits with you at dinner even if he almost has to take me out for the seat, made you that necklace, took you flying after getting insanely jealous over me taking you for a flight and is way over the top protective over you?“, Lo‘ak looked at you as if you were stupid, but now that they labeled what had been happening as courting, every interaction with him ran through your mind with a different filter.

„You’ve broken her“, Tuk whined and snapped you out of your trance. „He’s…he’s been courting me? Why didn’t he say anything?“, you whispered and were surprised they heard you. „You really didn’t know?“, Kiri looked a bit shocked. „No! I’m not from here, remember? How would I know that? 'Courting‘ in my world is vastly different!“, you started panicking a bit.

„But you like him don’t you? I mean it’s quite obvious you two are into eachother“, Lo‘ak shrugged and didn’t really seem to see a problem here. „I-I do, a lot, but I still can’t mate with him“, you blushed when suddenly you realized what that mating would include but pushed the thought to the side.

„What? Why? Don’t you wanna be my sister?“, Tuk climbed over her older brother in order to sit in your lap, hitting him in the face with her tail in the process, making Kiri giggle. „Oh Tuk“, you cuddled her close, „I’d love to be your sister. I’m just worried about the possibility that one day the light that brought me here will take me back again - and I’d be gone just like that. It’s better not to form such permanent attachments as mating, no matter how much I like your brother.“

„Eywa brought you here for a reason (Y/N). You said you didn’t like your life on earth and I think she sent you here to live a happier life - a life with my brother“, Kiri tried to reassure you, but you still weren’t convinced. „Yeah (Y/N), he’s so in love with you, he’s never acted like that before. There are so many willing females throwing themselves at him, but he doesn’t even glance at them, because he’s only looking at you“, Lo‘ak looked as serious as you’ve never seen him before.

„Promise me you’ll at least talk to him? Soon? But knowing him I can tell you that much - he’d rather take all the time he can get with you even if it’s limited, than not having any time with you at all“, Kiri wisely told you and you sighed, nodding and hugging Tuk closer to you.

„Plus, I really hope you’ll stay here too“, Kiri almost seemed a little bashful, „you’re the best friend I’ve ever had.“ You looked at her and tried to stop yourself from tearing up. „Come here“, you opened your arms and beckoned her to join yours and Tuks hug, hugging her tightly when she finally moved with a roll of her eyes. „You’re the best friend I’ve ever had too Kiri“, you smiled and she squeezed you gently as a response.

„For what it’s worth, I think you’re pretty cool too“, Lo‘ak chimed in from next to you with a grin and after exchanging a mischievous grin, you and Kiri pulled him into the hug too with a laugh, ignoring the groaning Tuk (and Lo‘ak).

It seemed like you really had found a family here too. And it was weird to think that Neteyam really returned your feelings, for gods sake he was courting you! Your heart wanted to jump out of your chest and you just prayed that Eywa would give you a sign or anything else to let you know you would never have to go back and could spend your life here - and that you could accept his advances and stay here with all of them.

————————

Neteyam decided he couldn’t wait anymore and would ask you to be his mate tonight. You seemed to accept his courting and he just wanted you to be his. So he decided to talk to his parents about this, eventhough he was sure they had already heard through gossip that he was courting you - and by gossip he meant Kiri and Lo‘ak.

„Mom, Dad, can we talk for a moment?“, he weirdly enough had found his parents in the same place - they were at home sorting through herbs. He could only guess they were told by his grandmother to do so. At his appearance they stopped their work and he settled down with them. „It’s about (Y/N)“, his mother guessed and gave him a knowing smirk and he was almost offended by how easy he was to read.

„(Y/N)? What about her?“, Jake was confused and Neteyam was reassured that it seemed to at least be only his mother that could see right through him. Then again, his dad was generally pretty clueless about things like that. „Ma Jake, he’s been courting her for two weeks now“, Neytiri rolled her eyes at his dads density.

„What, really? And does she know that?“, Jake asked and Neteyam and his mother were looking at him in question. „She accepted my gifts and the meat I hunted for her, and my offers to spend time with her if you mean that“, Neteyam shrugged and his stomach fluttered when he thought about you.

„No, what I mean is, that she’s not from here, humans don’t 'court' like Na‘vi do, are you sure she knows what you’re doing is leading to you two being mated?“, his father explained himself, „Because I’m not sure anyone ever explained that part of our culture to her.“ Mother and son were in thought for a moment, as they had to grasp the concept that she was from a completely different world - she had adapted so well they forgot about that sometimes.

When none of them said anything, Jake cleared his throat and continued. „I don’t doubt she likes you, even your daft old dad sees that, and I’m not telling you she will say no or anything - just be patient with her because she might not expect it, okay?“, he reassured his oldest son. „Thank you Dad“, Neteyam nodded gratefully and then looked over to his mom, „but the reason I came here for originally was to ask for both of your approval and permission to ask her to be my mate tonight.“

His parents exchanged a fond glance, proud of the man their son had become and proud of his choice. „Of course you have our approval. (Y/N) might not be able to become Tsahìk without training, but my mother and I talked to Kiri about this possibility - and she is more than suited and willing to take on that role when the time comes“, Neytiri smiled encouragingly at her older son, happy that he found someone to spent his life with.

„Your mother is right, you’re perfect for eachother“, his dad clapped his back proudly and Neteyam felt significantly lighter than when he arrived in the family’s hut. „I think you should know that you might need to keep a closer eye on her if you announce your bond though“, his mother looked a bit thoughtful, „I heard that some of the other woman already suspect your affections for her and they don’t seem to be happy about being overruled by what they perceive as an outsider.“

Neteyams previously light mood, darkened in record time. His mother thought they would compromise you somehow? He couldn’t even fathom the thought of you being hurt, but he knew you weren’t the best at defending yourself so if they caught you alone it was absolutely possible. „Don’t worry Neteyam, we’ll all keep an eye on her“, his Dad try to calm him, the dangerous glint in his eyes unsettling him. „Thank you, both of you“, he gestured a goodbye to his parents, „I’m going to find her now.“

—————————

He had been searching for you a while before he found Kiri who told him you were off reading again, on the small Plattform he had showed you weeks ago that was high up in the trees. With a grin he had run off, that actually fit perfectly into his plans. The platform was private and cozy, just right to ask such an important question.

When her reached the tree, it started to get dark slowly and he quickly climbed upwards. He could hear you turn a page when he was close and when he could finally see you his chest got all warm. You were so beautiful, tucked into the corner with the blanket you brought and completely immersed in your book.

„Hello yawne“, he grinned when you were startled and looked at him in surprise. „Don’t scare me like that 'Teyam!“, you playfully scolded him and sat upright, closing your book after marking the page. With a soft smile, he moved onto the platform and sat down on the bouncy material next to you, so close he could see you blush a little - but when you seemed to automatically lean into him a bit, his heartbeat quickened ridiculously.

He didn’t know where to begin. „What is it?“, you looked at him in worry and carefully took his hand, yours so small and delicate in his. He immediately cradled it lovingly. „You always asked me what the nicknames I called you meant“, he started and stroked the back of your hand with his thumb.

„Yes“, you were a bit breathless at the affection he was showing you. „Syulang means flower, because you’re just as unique as every single one on this moon“, he gently pushed a piece of hair out of your face and your eyes widened in wonder. „Sevin means beauty, because you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever encountered“, he whispered, his tail moving to tangle with yours and your breath momentarily stopped.

„Neteyam“, was the only thing you could whisper, not knowing if you wanted him to stop or to keep going. He sent you a shaky smile and moved his head closer to yours, almost touching your forehead to eachother. „Yawne means beloved“, his breath hit your face softly and you could guess what came next, closing your eyes in agony, „because I love you. Eywa (Y/N) I love you so much and I see you. Oel ngati kameie. I’m yours, if you’ll have me. Be mine? Be my mate?“

You wanted him so bad, you wanted to love him and you wanted to let him love you - but you couldn’t. You couldn’t bare the thought of leaving him behind if you would encounter the light that brought you here again. And you had every intention to tell him, but when you opened your eyes and looked into his golden ones, so full of love and desire you were left speechless.

His hand slipped to your cheek, and you noticed how he moved in even closer - just a tilt of your head and you would’ve been kissing your love. Closing your eyes again, you couldn’t bear to see the heartbroken look on his face as you pulled away from him. „I can’t Neteyam“, you had to force the words out, your heart not wanting to say them at all.

It was silent for a second and you thought maybe he was gone as quickly as he came, but a big firm hand pulling your face back around proved you wrong. „Did I do something wrong? I thought you accepted my courtship, did I read you wrong? Please (Y/N) look at me“, he pleaded with you, the desire and love in his eyes now overridden by panic.

„No! No you didn’t do anything wrong and you didn’t read me wrong I do…I do love you“, your heart couldn’t take hie broken expression, even if you couldn’t be with him you had to atleast make sure he knew it wasn’t him. He brightened up a little at that, but his ears were still low and close to his head. „What is it then? Talk to me yawne, please“, he looked so concerned for you and was so gentle still, that you were sure he would be the right choice if you could let yourself be his.

„I didn’t…realize you were courting me at first, not until your siblings pointed it out to me“, you started to explain yourself, trying to keep your composure. „When they told me I was elated at first that you returned my feelings, but then…then I realized I could be pulled out of this world any moment again, we can’t be sure it won’t happen and I can’t bear the thought of leaving you, especially not after making the bond“, you continued, „not to mention that you’re the next leader of your clan and some people still see me as a demon, it’s not an appropriate match anyway.“

„Bullshit“, Neteyam blurted out after a moment of silence, repeating something that his father said when he’s frustrated. You just looked at him with wide eyes. „You’re perfect for me, the clan will have to deal with that, most of them have accepted you already. I already talked to my parents and they approve yawnetu, Kiri will be Tsahìk when the time comes and they love you, they couldn’t think of someone better for me either“, he ranted on and you had to smile at his vigor to convince you, your hand gently stroking his cheek.

„You forgot the most important part“, you sighed, letting your hand fall down. He caught it and pressed it back to his cheek, not willing to lose that feeling. „I don’t care. I’d rather have only a year, a month or a week with you than not have you at all“, he was desperate, wishing you would just let him love you. „I can’t“, you were on the verge of tears, he could see it and his heart broke even more. „Maybe Eywa sends a sign, letting me know I won’t ever go back, but we don’t know that will happen“, this was worse than all the scenarios he thought about, knowing you wanted him too, but feeling like you couldn’t was torture.

„Do you want to? Go back I mean?“, he suddenly asked, catching you off guard. You were lost in thought for a moment. Back home? Was it even home anymore? You missed your true crime and your crochet, and going to the bar with your friends once in a while, but that was nothing compared to what you’d miss if you would go back. You couldn’t even fathom how much it would hurt to leave all of this behind.

„No. Never“, you shook your head decisively.

—————————

You were essentially hiding from Neteyam the last two days. He was somehow convinced if he would just dote on you enough he would get Eywa to send a sign and you to agree to mate with him. It was probably not working on Eywa, but your resolve on the other hand was crumbling with every sweet gesture and every gentle touch. That’s precisely why you were avoiding him, trying to stop yourself from falling into his arms.

But you couldn’t run forever and Kiri had bullied you into attending communal dinner tonight, so there you were, making your way to your usual spot to meet her. „Evening (Y/N)“, someone greeted you from behind and you stopped in your tracks, and turned around. To your surprise it was Au‘tel, one of the hunters from the clan - not nearly as impressive as Neteyam though. You had to reprimand yourself for thinking about him.

„Good evening“, you smiled at him politely, still wondering what he could possibly want from you. He had never talked to you before now. „I brought you some of the food“, he grinned and held out a portion of cut up fruits, and your eyes widened. Now that you knew what it meant, you couldn’t possibly accept what seemed to be a courting gesture.

You were raking your brain for an acceptable rejection, when you felt him before you even saw him. His hand possessively went around your waist and you could feel your heartbeat in your throat. This wasn’t good. „She doesn’t need you to provide food“, he was basically growling at the other man, you had never heard Neteyam sound so venomously, Au‘tel shrinking visibly under the larger man’s glare.

„Sure, I apologize“, he was gone as suddenly as he came, and you were glad he scurried away instead of talking back, because you were sure Neteyam wouldn’t have hesitated to hurt him. Suddenly you were very aware of how quiet it was around you, the people eating dinner pausing and looking at the scene unfolding infront of them.

Oh god, that were definitely way too many eyes on you, and they were looking curiously at the way their future leader was still holding you closely. And the way some of the other young women were eyeing you with murderous envy was making you panic, pulling yourself out of Neteyams grip hastily and disappearing into the forest quickly. You would apologize to Kiri later.

You were blushing massively and breathing too quickly, not even knowing where you were going. You had to admit it was kind of hot how he staked his claim on you, but then you remembered all the people looking at you, judging you and you were so blinded by the tears that were suddenly running down your face from your feelings that were pulling you into all different directions the last few days, that you nearly missed the steep cliff that suddenly opened up infront of you.

You gasped, trying to stop yourself from falling down into the dark abyss, but you couldn’t catch yourself anymore and you were sure you would’ve fallen hadn’t it been for Neteyam. You didn’t even notice him following you, but thank Eywa he did, pulling you back from the cliff and into his chest safely.

Neteyams heart almost fell out of his chest when he saw you nearly fall down that cliff, holding you even tighter at the thought of what could’ve happened. „You’re okay, you’re okay“, he tried to soothe not only you but him, turning you around and pulling you into a tight hug.

You let yourself be held for a moment, just enjoying the close proximity you had forbidden yourself the past days, before pulling yourself away from his chest and wiping your tears away. He reluctantly let you go, not looking happy with having you leave the safety of his arms. „Thank you 'Teyam“, you mumbled, looking to the ground and trying move around him to go back to Kiris hut to just sleep. You really lost your appetite anyway.

„Don’t go“, he pleaded, trying to hold you back, but you shook him off. „I told you we can’t. You shouldn’t have done that back there, everyone saw“, you looked up at the taller Na‘vi in desperation. „Good. Let them see who you belong to, so no other skxwang will try to make a move on you“, he was basically seething at the thought of that idiot trying to court you back at dinner.

You were stunned at the intensity of his possessiveness for a moment, some primal part of you was urging you to lay down and mate with that perfect male, but you quickly squashed the thought. „Don’t…don’t say that“, you whispered, and Neteyam seemed to realize all too quickly what effect he had on you and stepped closer.

„Why? Does it make you want to mate with me?“, he was smirking, something rumbling deep in his broad chest, his pectorals flexing under your gaze. You knew if you would’ve stayed only a second longer you would’ve given yourself to him - so you ran.

—————————

You knew it was childish and you had to talk about it, but you just needed a day to have some peace and quiet. In the morning you had immediately fled the trees that housed the Sullys huts and settled in a small clearing with a basket to weave and keep you occupied until you were ready to go back.

You were seriously contemplating giving into your heart and accepting Neteyam, but you just couldn’t shake the image of a heartbroken Neteyam if you really would be taken back someday. You knew what happened to Na‘vi when their mates died (and you doubted disappearing would be different), and you didn’t want Neteyam to wither away slowly because of you. Not if he could’ve had a chance to live a happy life with someone else some day if you were sent back - but mating with him and making the bond would rob him of that.

It was already getting dark and you knew you had to go back, so you slowly made your way through the forest, holding your finished basket in one hand. You were a few minutes away from the Sullys huts, when you encountered Saelia, Nes‘ti and Tizon, three of the women who were thought to be picked as Neteyams mate - if it hadn’t been for you.

„Look what we’ve got here“, Nes‘ti laughed when they spotted you and you just looked at them like a deer caught in the headlights. „It’s the demon“, Saelia chuckled darkly, „probably coming from a secret date with Neteyam.“

Oh no, this wasn’t going to turn out pretty, you thought as they stepped closer to you. „I don’t see it, do you?“, Nes‘ti was eyeing you in mockery. „No, no I really don’t“, Tizon cackled, and they exchanged glances. „See what?“, you had the courage to ask, but realized immediately that was stupid. They suddenly dropped the fake humor and looked at you in rage.

„See whatever the hell he sees in you!“, Saelia spit out, taking a step forward and startling you. „Yeah we have been wondering what it could possibly be, you’re not even one of the people, and you managed to take Toruk Maktos eldest son“, Tizon pushed you back by the shoulders, and you stumbled back, luckily catching yourself.

„Yeah, he’s been completely ignoring us ever since you fell out of the fucking sky!“, Saelia seemed to be seeing red and suddenly pushed you back way harder than Tizon did, making you stumble and you turned trying to catch yourself. Your foot got caught on a root, and you fell head first against a rock laying on the ground, effectively splitting your forehead open.

„You shouldn’t have done that!“, you heard them bickering behind you. „What?! You did it too!“, someone hissed back, and you felt them scurry away quickly, now that they realized they injured you. Groaning you sat up, already feeling the blood running down your face. Great. This was just great.

——————————

„Ouch“, you hissed as Neytiri cleaned the cut on your forehead, but her grip on your chin stayed firm. „Now, tell me how this happened, and no lies this time“, she berated you. Maybe trying to sell that you only fell wasn’t the smartest idea with her - would’ve worked with Jake though. „It was just those stupid girls, pestering me about Neteyam“, you sighed and she looked down at you in concern.

„They hit you?“, she inquired further, putting some paste on the cut now that it stopped bleeding and it immediately soothed the stinging. „No, they pushed me around and I tripped“, you recounted the events from earlier, and looked up at her. She finished up with your cut and sat down next to you in her family’s hut.

„And now tell me what else is bothering you child“, you rarely saw her this gentle and took a deep breath. „It’s just… Neteyam and I-“, you were suddenly interrupted by Neteyam and Lo‘ak coming into the hut, and your eyes immediately found his.

„What the hell happened“, against your expectations Neteyam was deathly calm while looking at the cut on your forehead. This seemed to be even worse than his anger, considering his mother and brother left the hut immediately. You were scrambling up, standing on the woven material the floor was made out of, and tried to think of something to say.

Neteyam crossed the space between you in seconds, cradling your face gently despite his obvious anger simmering underneath the surface. „What. Happened.“, he asked again, and as if he could sense you were trying to think of an excuse he added, „and don’t even think about lying to me.“

„It…it was just those girls“, you started, but his eyes told you his anger was flowing over. „They didn’t mean to! The were just pushing me, I fell by accident“, you tried to calm him down, because eventhough you didn’t like those girls, you didn’t wish Neteyams wrath upon them either.

„Nobody hurts you“, he hissed, his jaw clenched tightly, letting go of you slowly and turning towards the door. „Wait, don’t do this Neteyam“, you tried to hold him back, but he was walking towards the entrance with purpose, and you just stood there helplessly thinking of things that could convince him to stay.

„Neteyam! Please!“, you called for him, but it seemed like he was in tunnel vision, not snapping out of it. So you did the only thing that came to your mind right then. „Kiss me!“, you blurted out, and that indeed made him stop in his tracks.

„What did you say?“, he sounded agitated still, his back to you, but at least he stopped moving. „Kiss me, please“, you whispered in a desperate attempt to keep him there - and also because you finally let your heart speak its mind.

He turned around slowly, like a predator not wanting to scare its prey, and looked into your eyes for a moment. He seemed to find what he was searching for, because in seconds he wrapping one arm around your waist pulling you close, while the other gently cupped your face - then he bend down and his lips were on yours.

It was passionate and needy from the start, his lips were slightly rough against your soft ones, but it was the perfect fit. They moved in sync, his tongue carefully finding its way into your mouth, and you couldn’t hold back the whimper that left your throat at the animalistic way he claimed you right there.

Your little sound egged him on even more, greedy hands pulling you closer, because now that he finally had you in his arms, so soft and pliable, he was gonna make damn sure to show you how much he loved you - how much he wanted you. His tails possessively wrapped around your thigh, while he felt like for the first time in his life he was complete. Like this was where he needed to be.

The kiss turned softer, full of love and desire, his hands roaming your waist, grasping your hips while you clung onto his biceps, his muscles flexing under your grip. He was basically kissing you senseless, you didn’t know up and down, you only knew where he was. The feeling of his lips was exhilarating, and you wanted nothing more then to give yourself to him fully - but you couldn’t .

Finally needing to breathe, you pulled back slightly, smiling when the tall warrior chased your lips desperately. „Say you’re mine (Y/N)“, Neteyams voice was husky, a raspy, primal edge in his words. „I am 'Teyam. I always was“, you sighed, not being able to lie to him anymore, he deserved to know, even if you couldn’t make the bond with him yet.

Hearing your say that you were his made a growl rise in his throat that seemed almost instinctual, acknowledging that he had you, not only in his arms but he had your heart. „Just…just hold me tonight?“, your breathless whisper made his heart swell. „Of course, yawne“, he smiled happily, knowing this was a step towards mating with you, even if you wouldn’t tonight.

He swept you off your feet, grinning at the little squeak you let out at his sudden action, and carried you quickly into his hut. It was in a tree close to the Sullys, but from all of his siblings it was the farthest away. You had your face buried in his neck, and the way he could feel your lips ghosting over it distracted him like crazy.

There were no words exchanged between you two, Neteyam laid you down on his bed gently, pulling you into his arms immediately and wrapping his tail around your waist for security. Having you in his arms, all safe and warm and smelling so good, made him feel a bone deep satisfaction that almost scared him - he could never lose you.

————————————

It wasn’t as hard as you would’ve thought to resist Neteyam the next day, because he was gone for an out of the ordinary hunting trip until dinner was almost over. When Jake had told him in the morning he had to accompany the hunting party, he had almost refused to go because he wanted to stay with you. But with a bit of sweet encouragement (and the promise of more kisses when he returned) you were able to convince him.

After the events from last night, you had been praying to Eywa regularly throughout the day to just please, please send you a sign so you could fully be with the Olo‘eyktans son. But there was nothing so far, dampening your mood significantly.

You were pulled from your thoughts, when suddenly someone sat next to you, pulling you into his arms. „'Teyam“, you giggled when he kissed your cheek gently, turning so you could look at him better. Eywa, he looked so handsome with his visor and bow still sling over his back. „Hello syulang“, he mumbled into your ear and you hummed contentedly.

Before either of you could get any more handsy infront of the clan, your ears were assaulted by a loud 'woosh' sound, the fires that were burning blown out and in the middle of the clearing was something that made you heart stop. The white light that had brought you here.

Everyone was frozen, staring at the slightly pulsing and swaying white orb, that looked otherwise harmless, when you were pulled out of your rigor by Neteyams arms tightening around you. You looked at him and could see the horror in his eyes, knowing exactly what that was from the description you had given him.

You felt like this was it, this was your sign, and somehow you had the urge to get a bit closer. You were wondering why Neteyam let you go so easily, but you felt like you were in trance, having to face the thing that changed your life.

Everyone else didn’t move, looking either at you or still at the light, and you slowly moved through the crowd. Did this mean you had to go back home? Your thoughts strayed to your apartment, your books probably still sitting on the side table. Your crochet blanket abandoned on the couch. The little dingy kiosk you worked in, your rude neighbor complaining about going up the stairs too loud.

You stopped infront of the light. Was that home? You raised your hand a bit. But back where you came from, that wasn’t really home.

Home was gossiping with Kiri while weaving baskets, and trying to talk Lo‘ak out of whatever stupid thing he had planned again (but going along with it in the end). It was swimming with Tuk and reading in that hammock above the trees. It was laying in Neteyams arms, falling in love with him.

This was the sign you had been praying for, Eywa was giving you the choice to stay here or to go back. You smiled for a moment, lowering your hand and turning to where you knew Jake and Neytiri were sitting. „I’d like to stay if that’s okay“, you were talking quietly, but going by the leaders grin, he heard you loud and clear.

As if the tension snapped, the light disappeared into the sky as quickly as it came, the fires mysteriously burning again, and then you were engulfed by a happily sobbing Kiri. Tuk was clinging to your leg and even Lo‘ak joined the hug making you laugh in relief. „I’m so glad you stayed tsmuke“, Kiri grinned, before letting go to let her parents step forward. [sister]

To your surprise, Neytiri pulled you into a hug too, followed by Jake and you were smiling but also blushing a bit from all the attention. Not to mention the clan cheering around you. „Thank you (Y/N), thank you for staying“, Neytiri said, Jake squeezing your shoulder in gratitude and you know they meant 'thank you for not breaking our sons heart’.

But where was said son? Kiri pulled you close, seemingly knowing what you were thinking when you were looking around searching for him. „When he saw you raise your hand he took off, I don’t know where he went“, she looked concerned, and you knew why - Neteyam probably thought you were going to take the chance to go back home when you had raised your hand for a moment.

———————————

He didn’t know how long he had been running through the forest, he didn’t feel the leaves hitting his face or the bark scratching his body when he passed the trees to close. He was panting, trying to suppress the feelings that would be his downfall, but when he arrived in the hammock you were always reading in - his brain leading him there instinctively - and the last book you’ve read laid there forgotten, he broke down.

You reached out for the light, you left him, leaving him alone in this world while you went to another. He couldn’t even bear to watch you disappear, his heart feeling like it was shriveling up and dying at the thought that he would never get to see you again. Hold you in his arms, feel your lips on his like last night. He couldn’t even blame you for wanting to go back, if he would be thrown into another world he would probably want to too.

He could feel tears streaming down his face and the way he began to panic, the book you were holding in your hands just two days ago taunting him, and he felt like he could hear you call his name. 'Teyam!' he was sure he was hallucinating your voice, kneeling down infront of the book in anger, begging Eywa to make it stop.

The pain mixed with your soft voice drove him insane and he was about to rip the book apart in anger, when your voice suddenly sounded a lot closer and a lot more real.

„Don’t you dare destroy my book 'Teyam“, you had known exactly where he would go when he was this upset about you, finding him in the hammock just like you thought. Your heart was breaking for the man you loved, he seemed to be so broken thinking that you were gone.

But when he heard your voice so close, he finally seemed to snap out of it, his eyes meeting yours and a sob left his mouth. „You’re not real“, he whispered, shaking his head in desperation and you immediately scrambled closer with a concerned look on your face.

„I didn’t leave, I’d never leave you Neteyam“, you promise him, your hands settling on his cheeks and making him look into your eyes again. „But…but you reached out to the light…you left“, he whimpered, not sure if he should believe you or not. „If you would’ve stayed two seconds longer, you would’ve seen I decided to stay, stay here with you“, you smiled, wiping away his tears, but he still seemed reluctant.

„This can’t be real“, his eyes moved over you in wonder, seemingly trying to decide if you were really here or just a bittersweet trick his mind was playing on him. Until he felt a sharp pinch on his biceps, looking at you slightly offended. „You believe I’m real now?“, you grinned, and when it sunk in that you really were here, that you stayed for him, he tackled you to the floor (carefully of course) and pressed his lips to yours.

Now that you knew you would never have to leave and could be with him fully, the kiss felt different than before. Less desperate and more on the deeper side, your emotions running at an all time high. You pulled back slightly, blushing at the way he was laying on top of you and looking at you with hooded eyes full of passion.

„This sign…it means I’ll never leave 'Teyam“, you whispered, a bit flushed from the kiss and from what you were trying to insinuate. His eyes immediately darkened in understanding. „Please say it. Please say you’ll be my mate“, his voice was husky, and as if that wasn’t enough, with the way he was laying between your legs, you could feel a very prominent bulge pressing right up against your moist tweng.

You nodded your head with a gentle smile. „I’m yours if you’ll still have me. Please take me ma 'Teyam“, you bit your lip in nervousness, not usually this bold, but the way a punched out groan left his mouth made it worth it.

He couldn’t hold back anymore when you called him the pet name usually reserved for mated couples, pulling you into another kiss immediately. You were finally his, and he would make sure to show you and everyone else that you belonged to him - some primal side of him set free at the permission to finally bond and mate with you.

He kissed you senseless til you both needed to breathe, his lips then trailing down your delicate neck, leaving marks along the way and leaving you breathless. You were so perfect, the way you were completely giving yourself to him, trusting him and being so pliable, it made him almost cum into his tweng. You would be the perfect mate, and perfect mother. Eywa, he was so in love.

His large hands freed you of your chest covering, his eyes never leaving your breasts, your nipples peaking under his intense gaze. „Don’t just stare“, you whined, already desperate for his touch and with a predatory grin he took you into his mouth. You chocked on our moan, his tongue a rough texture that felt oh so good on your nipple, sending shockwaves of pleasure right to your pulsing core.

Neteyam was lost in your soft and heavy breasts, clearly your human DNA had an influence there, considering they were bigger and softer than normal Na‘vi breasts. But he was loving it, and he was especially loving your sensitivity, arching your back and pushing your chest into his mouth.

He switched to the other nipple, grazing it with his teeth, and you swear if he wanted to he could’ve made you cum just from that. But you needed more. „'Teyam please, I need you“, you begged, your thighs trying to clench in order to get some friction, but his massive body blocked them.

He finally pulled himself away from your chest in order to take of your tweng, and shuffled down your body, so that he could bully his way between your thighs with his broad shoulders and expose your wet and swollen pussy to him.

„Eywa you’re so perfect ma yawne“, he groaned when he saw the way you were clenching around nothing, your smell making him dizzy in the best way, and before you could plead with him to touch you, his hot mouth was already on you. He was stroking your clit with his rough tongue painstakingly slowly, pulling your legs over his shoulder and holding you so firm by your hips that you were sure you would be sprouting bruises later (that you would wear around the village with pride).

You could only take what he gave you, his vice grip not giving you much space to do anything else, but the way he was in control scratched something primal inside you, making you submit to him even more. Suddenly he pushed two fingers into you, slowly fucking you with them and making sure you’re prepared to take him.

Your tail subconsciously wrapped around his arm, making him groan into your pussy and you squeezed around his fingers at that. But when he started sucking on your swollen and sensitive clit, adding a third finger and hitting that spongey spot inside you perfectly, you came without warning, breathless moans and whimpers leaving your mouth.

He growled at the feeling of you cumming on his tongue, your pussy sucking in his fingers desperately and he couldn’t wait for them to be replaced by his cock. He only stopped when you were pushing him away in oversensitivity, unhappy with having to stop tasting your sopping pussy.

But then you pulled at his arm to get him on top of you again and quicker than you would’ve thought possible he was kissing you again. He tried to pour all his adoration and love into that one kiss, telling you all the things he currently couldn’t form into words.

He pulled back panting, a loving smile adorning his face. You were breathless with anticipation when he pulled his kuru over his shoulder, urging you to do so too. „Are you ready yawne, ready to become mine forever?“, he asked in a husky voice, the anticipation killing him. „Of course I am ma 'Teyam“, you smiled and then the two of you were already exposing the sensitive tendrils at the end of you braids.

Slowly you were moving them towards one another, letting them wrap around eachother, joining you both forever through the sacred bond. A shudder ran through the both of you, your tails and ears moving in ecstasy. You could really feel him, feel your souls joining eachother, effectively making you one, making you mates.

„Ma muntxa“, Neteyam growled right next to your ear, not being able to hold back his primal urges anymore. So he got rid of his loincloth quickly, hissing when his hard cock slid between your pussy lips, covering him in your essence. You whimpered when his head caught you clit, effectively spreading around his precum on your already weeping cunt.

„Please ma 'Teyam, need you“, you pleaded, moving your hips in an effort to catch his head in your entrance. Seeing how desperate you were, he didn’t waste anymore time, bracing himself onto of you more securely, before carefully sinking into the hot cradle between your thighs.

He had to refrain himself from pounding into you right away, reminding himself that this was your first time. You were holding onto his biceps for support, the feeling of fullness spreading through you like wildfire. It was overwhelming, feeling the bond and then feeling him so deep inside you physically too, stretching your poor pussy almost past its limit.

He was thick, his cock adorned with ridges that rubbed your sweet spot just the right way with every inch he pushed in, until he was finally bottomed out. His heavy balls were resting against your ass, basically pulsing with all the seed he had ready to fill you up.

Neteyam was growling next to your ear, his muscles tense in struggle to keep still and letting you adjust. But your tight, wet heat was pulling around him like a vice, trying to suck him in and he felt his hips start moving on their own account.

He started dragging back his hips more with each thrust, your walls clamping down tight and breathless whimpers leaving your lips. The way he was moving above you, all coiled muscle and pleasured expression was making you feel some type of way - especially the way he was so dominating and primal, starting to lose control and pound into you with vigor.

He gripped your thigh with one hand, angling his hips different, and then he was thrusting into your sweet spot with every move of his hips. The moans and whines were falling freely from your mouth, spurring him on further and when he thought about how you were finally his, his mate, he pulled you into another deep kiss.

„Oh god 'Teyam I’m g-gonna-", you tried telling him you were about to cum, but he interrupted you with another kiss, his hips never faltering. But it seemed like he knew what you were saying, one of his hands moving between you and firmly circling your clit, pushing you over the edge so suddenly, you could only open your mouth in a silent scream.

Neteyam groaned in despair when he felt you tighten around him, almost blowing his load right then, but he was determined to have you cum a third time so he continued fucking you through your orgasm until you were whining from the overstimulation.

He slowed down a bit, but never ceasing his thrusts entirely, letting you catch your breath for a moment. „You okay yawne?“, he kissed your cheek gently, making your eyes open with a satisfied smile. „Yeah, perfect“, you answered, and his heart melted at the way you looked at him with so much love.

With a grin, he picked up the speed and force of his thrusts again, suddenly overcome by the reality of getting you pregnant. He let out a loud moan, the thought of you swollen with his child, the evidence of your bond and the way everyone would know to keep their hands off of you, made him slide in and out of your tight heat with determination.

„Eywa, I’m almost there ma yawne“, your mate groaned above you, „gonna fill you up so good love, gonna make sure you’ll carry my child.“ The suddenly carnal desires spilling out of his mouth awakened something deep inside of you, and you whined pathetically, clinging on to your mate while your next high was - to your surprise - already approaching.

„Fuck, you just got so tight, you want that mhm? Want your mate to fill you up? Get you pregnant?“, he panted above you, abs flexing against you and cock still relentlessly abusing your sensitive cunt in just the perfect way. „Yes, please ma 'Teyam“, you gasped, feeling his urges through the bond intensely.

And then he changed his angle a bit, his lower abdomen grinding into your clit just slightly with every harsh thrust he gave you, and it didn’t take long before the breath was knocked out of you with your next orgasm.

You were gripping him so tight, your whole body begging him to breed you, sucking him deeper than you thought was possible. He only managed a few more thrusts before burying himself as far as possible inside you, almost painfully hitting your cervix, before spilling his seed into you with a loud growl.

He was grinding into you a little still, his cock so tight inside of you that his cum seemed to flow directly into your womb, making you feel oh so deliciously full - and also prolonging your high significantly, your body trying to take all it was given.

When you were both slowly coming back to yourselves, Neteyam carefully turned you around, laying on his back with you on top and making sure his cock stayed inside of you so nothing could spill out. „Ma (Y/N)“, he sighed dreamily, pushing your hair away from your face and kissing your forehead gently.

The satisfied but tired smile never leaving your lips, you looked up a bit with hooded eyes. „Are you okay yawne? I didn’t hurt you?“, the man who had been mercilessly fucking you stupid just a few minutes ago was suddenly the sweet and caring male you knew.

„No you didn’t my love, everything is just perfect“, you sighed happily, feeling safe and whole in his arms, the soft kiss he pressed to your lips only intensifying that feeling. „Promise me you’ll never leave?“, you almost didn’t hear him, your mate suddenly sounding so insecure it made your heart break. „Never. I’ll never leave, I love you so much 'Teyam“, you kissed him again, humming a bit when his (somehow still hard) cock moved inside of you.

„Oel ngati kameie“, he whispered, holding you even tighter and your burrowed your head in his neck softly kissing it. „I see you“, you whispered back.

=================

Sooo finally after for fucking ever I had the motivation to write again and I think this is actually my longest single one yet! I hope you enjoyed the somewhat more complicated starting situation and I hope I didn’t rush it too much, I thought if you didn’t enjoy your life on earth you would adjust pretty well, but I don’t know :) If you wanna be on my Taglist let me know!

Leave me some feedback your sweet replies always motivate me to finally get my ass up and write ahaha and thank you for the likes and reblogs in advance!! Love you all xx

Tags: @eywas-heir @brooklynscherry-z @liyahsocorro @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Chapter 18: Hole in None

Summary: During your bridal shower, Steve takes Javi golfing. When they return, the way Javi is acting has you questioning everything you knew about your relationship.

Word Count: 12.1K (getting back to my roots of a short chapter LMAO)

Warnings: SMUT(18+) unprotected p in v sex (wrap it up irl pls), oral (f receiving), creampie, praise kink, breeding kink (if you squint?), makeup sex and getting caught (The Murphy's will never catch a break) ANGST (I'm so sorry!!), Hurt/comfort, Javi being super insecure, you being confused as hell, Steve being an absolute idiot

A/N: HELLO. IT'S ME! I DO EXSIST! I am genuinely SO sorry that this chapter has taken a million years to happen. December has been so busy and I have had no time to write, so I really, really appreciate all of your patience 🥺 This is a lil different than any other chapter we've had so far in the NTL universe, it's a lil angsty-er than normal but ya girl only believes in happy endings so don't fret!!! Also poorly beta'd bc I have the stomach flu and I am 100% there are mistakes in this chapter that I'm sure I missed 🫠

Series Masterlist Next Chapter Previous Chapter

“Do I really have to do this? This thing hasn’t even started yet and I’m already exhausted.” 

“Yes, Hermosa, I do think that most people do expect the bride to be at her own bridal shower.” Javi laughed, staring into the bathroom mirror as he ran his hands through the dark curls of his hair, fixing them into place as you stood next to him, finishing the rest of your longer than usual makeup routine to prepare for being the center of attention against your will for the next several hours. 

It wasn’t that you weren’t grateful that your co-workers wanted to throw you a bridal shower before your wedding, now only a few weeks away- the sentiment of the whole thing was incredibly thoughtful. Your 3rd grade teammates had even found a way to get in touch with your family to make sure that your mom, aunts and cousins felt included in the event, too. You should have been thrilled about the fact that the people who loved you most in the world were coming together to celebrate your upcoming wedding and quite literally showering you with gifts, but if there was one thing you hated more than anything else, it was the social exhaustion that came from having a party planned for no one but you. 

You had really tried to convince Maria, Estelle, Linda, and now, your mom that you didn’t need a bridal shower- your wedding was going to be small, and since you had already been living on your own, there weren’t a lot of things you needed as you started married life together. Unfortunately, neither of those arguments were going to stop those ladies from going all out for you, leaving you feeling like your bridal shower was turning out to be even bigger than your actual wedding. 

“Don’t you think I could just get a cardboard cutout of myself and use that instead? All these ladies love to talk so much that I don’t think they would even know the difference.” You sighed, giving yourself a once over in the mirror before putting away the rest of your makeup as Javi snuck behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, planting a soft kiss into your shoulder as he pressed his chest against your back. 

“I have a feeling that someone would notice.” Javi chuckled, a soft grin spreading across his face as your eyes met in the mirror, his smile and sweet eyes enough to calm your nerves for at least a moment. “I would definitely notice.” 

“Well that’s easy for you to say, you don’t even have to be there.” You huffed, letting a little pout fall from your lips as Javi playfully shook you in his grasp, trying your best not to smile as you tried to keep up your unenthused facade. “It’s not too late to trade. You can go to the bridal shower and I can go golfing with you and Steve.” 

Even though Javi had insisted he was more than happy to stay at the shower with you, Maria had insisted that Javi find another way to spend his time so the spotlight of the day could be on you, and not him being distractingly handsome to everyone else there. Lucky for Javi, that meant extra time to spend with Steve while Connie was at your shower- not so lucky for you that Maria had banished your future husband from attending an event for your own wedding. 

“I honestly may have to take you up on that. Steve must have needed an ego boost when I let him pick what he wanted to do while you and Connie were at the shower because he knows I can’t golf for shit.” Javi’s overdramatic sigh and roll of his eyes was enough to make you break into a little giggle, turning your head enough to press a quick kiss onto his cheek before reaching your hand under his chin, giving his jaw a little jiggle. “It’ll go by fast, Osita, I promise. And then, when we get home,” he paused, pressing another kiss into your shoulder and up towards your neck, digging his fingers a little tighter into your sides as he rasped into your ear, “I’ll take as much time as you want to destress you.” 

“As much time as I want? Bold of you to assume that the dog is gonna give us that long.” You snickered as a happy Bear trotted into your bathroom right on cue, his tail loudly thumping against the bathroom cabinets from his happy wags as he wedged himself between you and Javi. 

The newest furry member of your household had been a well loved addition, but if there was one thing Bear had no concept of, it was privacy. Your dog had become a constant shadow to you and Javi anywhere and everywhere in your house, including your in your bedroom, even when you were, well, not sleeping. It hadn’t helped that Javi had already formed such a soft spot for Bear, and had let him on your bed from the moment he stepped foot into the apartment, and now, your dog and his clingy personality had become a new obstacle to try and navigate in your sex life. 

“Someone needs to tell his dad that he’ll survive if he gets left out of the bedroom for a half hour, huh? That he’s adorable, but that he can be a little cockblock, can’t he?” Squatting down next to Bear, you wrapped your hands around his face, scratching behind his ears as you mockingly serenaded him, raising an eyebrow at Javi. 

“He just sounds so sad when he whines and he’s trapped outside the door.” Javi grumbled, kneeling down to join you, patting Bear’s stomach, now much thicker and fuller than it was a few weeks ago after you had first brought him home, skinny and neglected from his lack of care from his previous owners. 

“You say trapped like we're kicking him out to the streets when we close the door on him. He’s adorable and sweet, but he’s a dog, Jav, he’ll be okay.” You smirked, playfully scolding Javi as you peppered Bear’s head with kisses, making his tail thump even harder as it wagged back and forth. “Tell your dad you’ll be just fine, won’t you?” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…” Javi groaned, knowing damn well you were right, even though he couldn’t bring himself to admit he had become an absolute softie for your new dog. “Alright, Hermosa, we gotta get you to this shower before Maria yells at me for making you late.” Pushing his hands against his knees, Javi let out a little grunt as he pushed himself back up to stand, checking the time on the silver watch wrapped around his wrist. 

“Wow, so eager to get rid of me, you must really be excited to go get your ass kicked in golf.” You teased, now following suit and straightening out your dress as you stood, throwing your arms around Javi’s neck, pressing up on your tiptoes to plant a little kiss on his lips. “Sure you don’t want me to golf for you?” 

“I’m sure, you dork.” 

After Javi had insisted on giving Bear more than his fair share of treats before the two of you left for the day, you were on the road to Maria’s, Javi insisting that he drop you off, instead of letting you take the treacherous 2 minute drive by yourself. As you drove down Maria’s street, you couldn’t help but smile at the memory of walking up to her house for an end of the school year party almost exactly a year ago. A party that had ultimately turned a handsome stranger from the Laredo Sheriff's department into your future husband, now sitting in the driver’s seat on the way to your bridal shower. You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself at the irony, leaning your head over onto Javi’s broad shoulder as you pulled up to Maria’s house. 

“What’s up, Osita?” Javi asked, a twinge of confusion in his voice at the content and calm of your demeanor as the two of you arrived at the event that you had been seemingly dreading for days. 

“I just- It was probably a year ago to the day the last time that we were at Maria’s house. Crazy to think that a year later we’re getting married and here for my bridal shower. I don’t know, a year ago I never would have thought I would have met someone I love so much, let alone be getting married, building a house, owning a dog, I- I’m just really happy that the department made you come to do that stupid presentation. You’ve made this year the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love you, Jav.” 

A tender silence hung in the air as Javi leaned over the center console, gently bringing his palm to cup the side of your face, his thumb tracing circles along your cheek, letting his sweet brown eyes lock with yours as a soft smile spread across his face. “I love you too, Osita.” His words barely left his mouth above a whisper, bringing his lips to yours. The two of you could have stayed like this forever, lost in the moment of your love for each other, but unfortunately, the world had other plans. 

“JAVIER. DIOS MIO. CAN YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER FOR 3 SECONDS?” Maria shouted, banging at the driver’s side window, the aggressive thumps of her hand against the glass making the two of you practically jump out of your skin. 

“Jesus Fucking Christ….” Javi whispered, clutching his hand over his chest, trying to steady his heart rate back to normal, the two of you looking at each other in pure terror. 

“If you’re going to drop her off and make a scene in my driveway, the least you can do is help an old woman out before you leave, Javier!” Maria demanded, still rapping her knuckles against the glass, the two of you trying to keep from dying of embarrassment as you exited out of the car. 

“Sorry Maria…” The two of you grimaced, still trying to avoid direct eye contact with her before she decided to scold you more. 

“Chucho is right, you two are no worse than a pair of teenagers. Come on, we only have an hour before everyone arrives and I need you and that wildly blonde haired boy to help me move chairs.” Shaking her head in disappointment, Maria was already halfway up the driveway and into the house as you and Javi trailed behind her, glancing at each other in confusion as to who she was referring to, until you noticed the Murphy’s car parked on the side of the street, realizing that Steve and Connie must have beaten you there. 

Before you even had a chance to make it a foot into the house, you were greeted by an overbearing swarm of people rushing to say hello and give you a hug, already feeling overwhelmed 30 seconds into the start of your shower, and these were all people you knew. Your mom was the first to make her way through the crowd, squeezing you in a death grip hug, even though you had just seen her last night after picking her up from the airport and dropping her off at her hotel. 

“Oh my god, I can’t believe the day is almost here! My baby girl is finally getting married! Ugh, you look beautiful sweetheart!” Your mom beamed, planting a chaste kiss on your cheek before making her way over to Javi, squeezing him just as hard. “C’mere, don’t think that you get to escape hugs from me too, Javi.” Javi looked over at you, trying his best not to laugh at everyone’s dramatics, knowing how stressed you already were, and that no one’s overly excited attitude was doing you any favors. 

“Ouch on the finally there, Mom. What do you need help with?” You asked, noticing that your mom had been holding on to Javi for a touch longer than what was probably appropriate while everyone else continued to hustle and bustle around Maria’s house. 

“Does he always smell that good? God, I wished your father smelled like that, the man smells like a sweaty sock. Javi, what kind of cologne do you-” 

“Mom! Jesus Christ.” You interjected, burying your hands in your face.

“Sorry, sorry! Honey, you don’t need to help with anything, it’s your shower!” Your mom swatted her hand at you, shaking her head in disbelief that you would ask to help, even though she knew better than anyone it was not in your nature to sit back on the sidelines and let other people do the work for you. 

“Why don’t you come help me set up decorations?” A soft voice replied behind you, making you whip your head around as their hand rested on your shoulder. 

“Connie!” You grinned, throwing her arms around her, relieved to find someone who wasn’t going to drive you absolutely crazy for the next hour of party prep. “It’s so good to see you, thank you so much for coming!” 

“Hey, Sweetheart!” a lower voice grunted from behind a stack of folding chairs making its way to the backyard. 

“Wow, Maria put you to work too, Steve? Yikes, she’s running a tight ship around here.” You and Connie snickered as Steve set down his stack of chairs, revealing his already sweaty and frustrated face, considering Maria had probably made him carry 6 trips worth of seats up and down the stairs since he and Connie had arrived. 

“You’re tellin’ me. Hey, make yourself useful and pick up some of these chairs, lazy ass. Sooner we get this set up, the sooner I kick your butt at golf.” Steve smirked, gesturing over at Javi, still standing in the doorway with his hands on his hips. 

“In that case, I’m taking one chair at a time.” Javi sighed, pressing a quick kiss to your temple in stride towards Steve, giving him a swift hug and a pat on the back before being interrupted by a shrill and demanding voice. 

“JAVIER. I HEARD THAT. IF I DON’T SEE YOU WITH A STACK OF CHAIRS IN YOUR HANDS THE NEXT TIME YOU’RE OUTSIDE, IT’D BETTER BE BECAUSE YOU ARE DEAD.” Maria shouted from across the house, making everyone’s faces freeze in fear. 

“You heard the woman. Chop, chop, Peña.” Steve chuckled to himself before passing off half of the chairs over to Javi, and walking towards the back of the house as Javi picked up his share, begrudgingly trailing behind Steve. 

“Alright, we should probably get to work on decorations before Maria finds us standing around for too long. I know you’re the bride, but I have a feeling that holds very little value to her until everything is set up.” Connie shrugged, nodding towards the backyard where the shower was being held. 

“You’re definitely right, and I would prefer to live through my bridal shower in order to make it to my actual wedding.” 

With all of the helping hands around the house, and Maria’s commanding dictatorship over shower setup, all of you had finished with time to spare, leaving your mom and co-workers to happily chat and gossip amongst themselves as you and Connie found your way to say goodbye to Steve and Javi, one of whom was looking much more excited about departing for golf than the other. 

“Have fun, ladies. Any last words for your future husband before I absolutely obliterate him on the golf course?” Steve snickered, giving Javi a soft punch on the shoulder. 

“Shut the fuck up, Murph.” Javi groaned, rolling his eyes as he braced himself for the next 3 hours of harassment from his former partner. 

“Don’t be too hard on him, okay Steve? He gets grumpy when he loses, so just a reasonable amount of ass whooping, nothing too drastic.” You teased, now playfully punching on the other side of his arm, you, Steve, and Connie laughing to yourselves at Javi’s fed up frown. 

“Says the one who literally pouted for hours after insisting we play "Sorry" and then she lost.” Javi smugly murmured, raising an eyebrow at you, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Well someone wasn’t very sorry about it, were they… You know what, Steve? I changed my mind, go ahead and kick his ass for me.” A mischievous grin grew across your face, bursting out into giggles as Javi flung his arms around you, giving you a squeeze and shaking you in his grasp. 

“Pendejo. Alright, you need anything else before I go get my ass kicked, Hermosa?” Javi asked, pressing a kiss into your hair. You were about to speak, but stopped yourself for a moment, looking Javi up and down, admiring how handsome he looked in the khakis and navy blue polo he had picked out this morning. You’d been so worried and worked up about the day that you hadn’t really had a chance to get a good look at him until now, and God, part of you wished you hadn’t taken the time to really take it all in as he stood next to you. You knew there was nothing you could really do about it now, but that wasn’t about to stop you from at least getting a little taste. 

“Uh yeah, I uh- actually um, I uh, I scraped my finger earlier on one of the banners I was setting up and I think I got a papercut. I forgot to ask Maria about it earlier, but um, can you show me where the bandaids are upstairs again?” You tried your best to sound as casual as possible, but Javi knew just as well as you that there was no way in hell that you actually needed a bandaid. His brow scrunched in a slight confusion, head cocked to the side as if to say “I think I know where this is going and I’m not really sure it’s going to work” before giving you a little shrug, gesturing up towards the bathroom at the top of the stairwell, trying to keep his smug grin hidden between his lips. 

“Yeah, I uh- here, let me show you where they are and I can get you one before we go.” Before Steve or Connie could even muster a word in protest, Javi was already dragging you halfway up the stairs, barely letting you make it to the top of the stairway before closing the bathroom door behind you. 

“Band Aid, really? That was the best you could come up with?” Javi laughed under his breath, letting his hands roam down your sides and under the hem of your dress as his fingers dug into the meat of your ass, the heat of his breath tickling your skin where his lips met your neck, gently sucking at your pulse point, making a tiny moan escape from your mouth. 

“I needed to come up with something to get you alone for long enough to give you a proper goodbye before you left.” 

“And a Band Aid was the way to do that?” 

“Oh shut up.” You giggled, draping your arms over Javi’s neck, letting your hands roam through the curls at the nape of his neck before pulling him in tighter to let his lips crash into yours with an electric intensity, his fingertips gripping deeper into your flesh. 

“I don’t think-” Javi muttered between kisses, “I don’t think a bandaid is gonna buy us enough time to do anything, Hermosa.” 

“I know. I just needed this. Just needed to kiss your stupidly handsome face. I needed something before you left me to fend for myself. Plus,” you paused, pulling back to see the lovestruck grin spread between Javi’s cheeks, “only fair that I get a chance to recreate our first kiss.” You snickered, gesturing to the interior of Maria’s bathroom, where you had found yourself with Javi almost a year ago to the day, your lips meeting for the first time as you sat on the ledge of the sink after Javi had came to your aid when a shattered beer bottle had landed in your leg. 

“Fuck, I forgot our first kiss was in Maria’s bathroom. Real fucking smooth of me, huh?” Javi grumbled, rolling his eyes at his past self for letting your first kiss be in the bathroom of his Mom’s best friend’s house. 

“Smooth enough for me to wanna marry you, so I guess it all worked out okay, didn’t it?” You teased, planting one last kiss on his lips before shooting him a wink and slipping out the bathroom, your face warm and tingly from the rush of excitement tucked away with Javi in your impromptu makeout session. Javi ran his hand over his face, taking a moment to try and compose himself, shaking his head to himself in shock and delight at how he found himself falling more and more in love with you every day. 

“Okay, uh- sorry, sorry about that. Just didn’t wanna have to bother Maria for anything.” You sighed, darting your eyes away from Steve and Connie, their arms crossed against their chest with almost comically smug smirks on their faces as they watched you shuffle back down the stairs, Javi reluctantly trailing behind you. 

“Yeah? How’d that bandaid work out for ya?” Steve smiled with a shit eating grin, nodding to your hands, neither of them with a bandaid anywhere in sight. You let out a gulp, trying to quickly tuck your hands behind your back, your cheeks flushing pink with embarrassment. “Goddamn, you two gonna make it 3 hours without touching each other, or am I gonna have to bring him back here after hole 4 for a mid-round makeout?” 

“Jesus Christ, Murph, really?.” Javi grumbled, rolling his eyes. “Bye, love you. Have fun and I’ll see you soon.” Leaned over, snaking his arm around your waist to plant one last kiss in your hair. 

“Not soon enough, apparently…” 

“Murphy…” 

“Stop makin’ out and I’ll stop givin’ you shit.” 

“Touche…” You muttered under your breath, just loud enough to make the 4 of you burst into laughter, easing the uncomfortable tension that you had brought upon yourself from your antics. “Love you too, have fun getting your ass kicked.” 

“Yes, yes, out, out, out! It’s only 10 minutes until guests arrive and your truck is taking up all the room in the driveway! Out!” Stampeding into the living room, Maria waved her hands at the boys, quite literally shooing them out of the house after overhearing your goodbyes. Giving a quick wave to Javi as Maria kicked him and Steve to the curb, you caught Javi’s head whipping around for one last glance at you before you left, giving you a once over with his eyes and a soft smile on his face as the front door shut behind him. 

Truth be told, your shower ended up being way less painful than you expected it would be. In all honesty, it was actually somewhat enjoyable. The fact that your mom, co-workers, and Connie had put into helping everyone come together to celebrate you filled your heart with so much more joy than you could have predicted- your friends and family had bought you and Javi so many more gifts than you knew what to do with, had so many kind things to say about the two of you, and Connie had even gone out of her way to make sure that there were fun games planned for everyone to keep the need for constant socialization at bay. It really had ended up being a fun afternoon, even if it meant having to answer the same questions about your wedding, house and honeymoon plans more times than you could count. 

Javi, on the other hand, could not have been having a worse time on the golf course, getting his ass thoroughly handed to him by Steve hole after hole, wondering to himself how anyone could bring themself to genuinely enjoy the torture that had been the past two and a half hours of hacking his club into chunks of grass and loosing his golf balls in the brush. The only consoling factor was that Javi was grateful to spend time with Steve, even if it meant being berated by endless questions from him on top of his painful performance while he played. 

“You feelin’ ready for the big day?” Steve grunted, after smacking his driver against his ball from the tee box, Javi relieved that the pair were finally on the 9th and final hole. 

“Yeah, I mean- Oh fuck me-” Javi grumbled, hitting his club and watching his ball fly into a patch of trees, the opposite direction of where he was trying to aim for, “I still can’t believe I’m getting married.” 

“You and me both, Jav. I never thought I’d live to see the fuckin’ day, that’s for damn sure. Javier Peña, a married man.” Steve chuckled, slipping his club into his golf bag as Javi followed behind, grabbing what must have been the 57th golf ball from his bag this round. 

“Shut the fuck up, Murph.” Javi chuckled, shaking his head at his friends’ jab, the two of them hopping into the golf cart together to try and scavenge for Javi’s long lost ball. 

“I’m just given’ you shit, Jav. I’m fuckin’ happy for you man. Really happy. She’s a great girl. Best thing that’s ever happened to your sorry ass, I’ll tell you that much. Guess you don’t have to worry about really followin’ through this time?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You’re actually gonna get married this time? You’re not leavin’ her at the altar like Lorraine, huh?” As Steve laughed to himself, Javi could practically feel his stomach drop, his heart beginning to race as a wave of terrible guilt and panic washed over him at his friend’s ironic question. 

To his own shock and surprise, Javi hadn’t thought about his last lack of a wedding once since the two of you had gotten engaged. He had been so head over heels excited to spend the rest of his life with you, that the failures of his past engagement had been tucked far away in the back of his mind. But then again, no one had been so gracious as to bring up the knife to the chest that was leaving Lorraine at the altar, and no one had been so gracious as to bring it up in classic Steve Murphy fashion. 

Javi could audibly hear himself gulp, his heartbeat pounding so loud he could hear it ringing in his ears as the terrible reality of the past he had so glady forgotten about met him in a head on collision, instantly re-opening all of the cuts and wounds he had finally managed to sew together. 

The last time he almost got married, Javier Peña had astronomically fucked up the lives of every last person who cared about him, leaving nothing but chaos and heartbreak in his wake.   

Rationally, Javi could tell himself that his upcoming wedding was the polar opposite of everything that was once planned between him and Lorraine. Javi couldn’t have cared less about Lorraine. From the moment he had wearily accepted his fate, he had dreaded every moment of his future from that point on. But you were not Lorraine. 

Javi loved you. 

Javi cared about you. 

Javi wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with you and give you everything in the world you could possibly want. 

But, one mention of that 8 letter name had Javi’s brain flooding with every single doubt, regret, and painful memory of his past that he had fought so hard to forget. It had his mind reeling with every uncomfortable feeling of remembering the man he had been before you had come into his life and changed him for the better. He knew he was a better man. A stronger man. A man who was worthy of the love and compassion you had shown him from the moment you two had met. 

Or was he? 

“Earth to Javi? Hello? Anyone home?” Waving his hand in front of Javi’s face, Steve stared at Javi in confusion as to why it seemed like his friend had suddenly become lost in his own world as they pulled up to the patch of trees where his ball had most likely landed. 

“Uh yeah, uh- what, sorry, um, what did you say?” Javi asked, visibly trying to shake the thoughts from his head, painfully scrunching his face and running his hand through his hair before looking back over at Steve. 

“I asked if you were gonna go get the ball or if you just wanted to add to your +200 score and drop one here instead. Hey, you okay, man?” Steve questioned, pausing for a moment before asking the later half of his statement, seeing the color flushed from Javi’s face. 

“Uh, yeah- Yeah, sorry, I just, I’m good. I’ll um, I’ll just drop a ball.” Javi muttered half to himself as he stepped out of the cart, barely paying attention enough to even remember what in the world he was even looking for in his golf bag. 

If Javi wasn’t already thankful to be on the last hole before Steve’s comment, he sure as hell was now, mindlessly whacking his golf club with no regard as to how his ball made it to the green. Any thoughts about golf, let alone any previous attempts to even try to play well had now flown out the window, creeping thoughts of self doubt and resentment crawling through Javi’s mind. The rest of the round and the entire car ride back to Maria’s were spent in an internal battle ranging in Javi’s brain, the fight between the man he used to be and the man he’d thought he’d become rearing its ugly head with a painful intensity that absolutely felt like it was consuming him whole.  

Steve, who was just as oblivious to his friend’s distraught state as he was to the idiocracy of his sarcastic question, had chalked Javi’s quiet and somber mood up to being an overly sore loser after getting mercilessly crushed at golf. Little did he know that his one silly comment had sent Javi spiraling down a trail of crushing self-doubt. 

As the pair pulled into the driveway and made their way to the backyard where a few straggling party goers still lingered, trying to monopolize their time with you to get the details of your upcoming plans for the future. Being the attentive and patient person that you were, you were trying your hardest to seem enthused and engaged with in the conversation with who you thought was Javi’s Aunt’s Cousin (at this point, you had been introduced to so many new people, you were questioning your own name), but it wasn’t long before your future husband’s big, broad body entering the backyard had you more than distracted, your face instantly lighting up at the sight of him. Peeking over his Aunt’s cousin (or cousin’s aunt, you weren’t really sure) shoulder, you bit down on your lip to try and contain your excitement, letting a little wave shake from your hand in his direction. 

Javi wished that your sweet smile and beautiful self were enough to snap him out of his funk, to see how you beamed in excitement just at the sight of him and shot him that lovestruck look he’d never get sick of- but for some twisted reason, it only made him feel worse. 

You were everything- kind, smart, funny, the most breathtaking woman he’d ever seen. But what was he? Tired? Broken? A shitty guy who had done even shitter things, who had left nothing but destruction in his path for years and years, with no regard for who it hurt, or even worse, left for dead? How was he supposed to give you everything you deserved when he sure as fuck didn’t deserve you? 

Before you had even said a word to him, you could already sense something was off about Javi’s demeanor that was due to more than just losing to Steve in golf. Even from across the backyard, his forced smile and tired brown eyes had a worried pit swirling in the bottom of your stomach, politely excusing yourself from your conversation to make your way over to Javi. 

“Hi! You guys have fun at golf? Steve didn’t kick your ass too bad?” You grinned, wrapping your arms around Javi’s waist, pressing up on your toes to plant a kiss on his lips, his mouth barely ghosting over yours in return. 

“Yeah, it was um- yeah, it was fine.” Javi nodded, trying to make a smile appear between his pursed lips. “How was the shower? You uh, you ready for Steve and I to start putting things in the truck to bring over to the new house?” 

You immediately frowned in response, cocking your head in confusion at him. “Yeah, it was great, but hey, are- are you okay? You seem really off, like more than just Steve kicking your ass at golf off. Did something happen?” 

“No, I’m- yeah, I’m good, Hermosa.” Javi’s eyes darted towards the ground, trying his best to stifle his sigh before another fake smile spread across his face, his response making you even more concerned than you were before, seeing he was clearly lying to you. As much as you wanted to problem solve right then and there to figure out what had Javi so distressed, the calls of one of the last groups of party goers wanting to say their goodbyes rang across the backyard, you flashing them a quick smile and a wave to signal you’d be over in a second. Before you could try and get anything else out of Javi, he had already backed himself away from your hands still tangled around his waist, nodding towards the group of women who were not so patiently waiting for you. “Go say goodbye, I’ll start loading stuff up.” 

“Um, I- uh, yeah, o-okay. Thanks.” You murmured, half to yourself, as Javi had already begun to walk away to find Steve to help him start carrying things out to the car, leaving you more anxious and confused with every passing second. 

With goodbyes finished, and decor and party setup cleaned up just as fast as Maria had demanded it to be put up, you and Javi made your way to your now packed car, followed by Connie and Steve, who had asked to see the progress on your new house while they were in town. You figured you’d kill two birds with one stone, inviting them over and having them help to unload gifts in the same trip, but now, given the strangely somber mood that Javi couldn’t seem to shake, you really wished it was just the two of you so you could figure out what the hell was going on. 

You and Javi piled into his truck, Steve and Connie hopping into theirs and following you down Maria’s street towards your new house. A stark silence filled the car, praying to yourself that maybe Javi just wanted to be alone before he said anything about his current state, but 5 minutes down the road without a single word falling from his lips, you had a devastating feeling that wasn’t going to be the case. 

Your leg bounced against the seat, fingers nervously drumming in your lap, letting out a quiet sigh to yourself before looking over at Javi and mustering up the courage to try and interrogate. 

“Sooooo, golf was fun? I love ya, but I think it’s probably safe to assume Steve won?” You quietly snickered, trying your best to stay nonchalant. 

“Yeah, it was good, Steve won, but that’s no surprise because I suck at golf.” Javi mumbled to himself, barely glancing your direction from behind the yellow tinted aviators perched on the bridge of his nose. Normally, if either of you had something that self-deprecating to say, it was at least followed by some sort of a joke or laugh, but his comment ended with nothing but a stoic silence as his hands gripped tighter around the steering wheel. 

“Hey, babe, it’s okay, you don’t ever golf, so it’s hard to expect yourself to be good at something you rarely ever do.” You reached over to grab his arm to reassure him, that unsettling and anxious pit beginning to grow in your stomach again with the way Javi was acting. All he could muster was a half hearted huff in response, signaling to you that whatever was happening was much bigger than a poor game of golf. 

“Javi… Baby, what’s going on? Did something happen with Steve?” 

“It’s nothing.” 

“It’s clearly not nothing, Jav. Did I do something wrong?” 

“No, I told you, it’s fine.” 

“Javi, it obviously isn’t fine if this is the way you’re acting about it. Why won’t you talk to me about it? I just wanna-” 

“I told you, it’s fine, okay!? Jesus, I don’t need you to solve all my problems.”

Oh.  

You and Javi had been in arguments before, hell, you’d been in fights before, but never once in the time that you’d known him, had Javi snapped at you like this. You could practically feel yourself recoiling in your seat from the harsh tone of his voice, fighting back the tears that had instantly begun welling in your eyes. You could feel your heart in your throat, choking down a heavy gulp as your lip quivered to try and keep from crying. 

What had gone so wrong that Javi was acting like this? 

You wish you had it in you to dig it out of him, but as you pulled up the driveway of your new home, Steve and Connie right behind you, ready for a tour, the best you could muster was a quiet, “O-okay.” As soon as the car was in park, Javi was unbuckling his seatbelt and slamming the door behind him, leaving you behind in the car, trying everything in your power to not become a startled, sobbing mess. 

Wiping away the wetness pooling behind your eyelids, you swiped the back of your hand against your cheeks, taking a few deep breaths before following behind, mustering up as much courage as you could to keep your cool for however long Steve and Connie were planning to stick around before heading back to San Antonio. 

You had hoped that Steve and Connie hadn't picked up on the palpable tension brewing between you and Javi, trying your best to put on a brave face as you paraded the Murphy’s through your nearly completed house. To be quite honest, you couldn’t have recalled anything that had happened in the time that they were there, your mind racing in torment as you watched Javi brood around your new home, barely saying a word to you, let alone make any eye contact, or look in your general direction. 

As the four of you made your way upstairs, your attention was finally caught by the low lull of Steve’s laughter as he situated himself between you and Javi, grabbing you both by the shoulders and shaking you in his grasp. 

“Well I’ll be damned. Y’all got enough rooms up here to house half a baseball team! You want that many kids driving ya nuts, huh?” Steve chuckled, making his way down the hallway, peeking into the empty bedrooms of your 2nd story. 

“Steve!” Connie scolded, slapping the back of her hand against Steve’s stomach for his comment. 

“What?! I’m just sayin’! I thought y’all would want like, 2, but there’s enough room for way more than that. I mean, I guess you two are fuckin’ goin’ at it like rabbits all the time, so I can’t really be shocked.” 

“Steven Edward Murphy! Jesus Christ!” Connie snapped, shooting Steve a dangerous glare, aggressively raising an eyebrow at her husband as she gestured towards you and Javi. 

“No, it’s okay, we don’t know for sure how many we want, but we figured if we had the space we’d add the rooms and even if they’re not bedrooms, they’ll still get used.” You had it in you enough to force a half smile across your face, flashing it at Steve and Connie before looking over at Javi. 

While you hadn’t expected much of a response from him given the current situation, what you weren’t expecting was the panic stricken look painting Javi from head to toe. 

If you weren’t already worried out of your mind about what the fuck was going on with Javi, you sure as fuck were now.  

“Uh, I um- yeah.”

Those were the only words Javi was able to choke out through the audible thumps pounding in his chest as his face went ghost white, eyes peeled to the ground. 

“See, Steve? You’re making them uncomfortable! You have absolutely no filter, I swear! I’m so sorry, you guys!” Connie frantically apologized, giving Steve another hardy slap in the stomach, making him wince. 

“I’m just jokin’, Jesus Christ, sorry!” Steve grumbled, holding up his hands in defense from his wife’s accusation, sheepishly looking over at you and Javi with a little shrug. 

“No, it’s uh- no, it’s fine, don’t worry about it.” You had given up on trying to be convincing at this point, your voice quietly shaking as you stared at Javi, now looking like a terrified, ragged shell of himself. 

What the fuck was going on? Did Javi want to wait to have kids? Did he not want to have that many? Was he having second thoughts about kids all together? Fuck, was he having second thoughts about getting married? He’s literally never acted like this before. Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

You were sure at this point, you probably looked just as much of a mess as Javi did, letting your thoughts race wildly throughout your brain, the silence now lingering between the four of you now seemed to feel deafening, Connie beginning to pick up on the uneasiness festering between you and Javi and knowing she had enough common sense for her and Steve to pick up her cue to see herself out. 

“Well, still, I’m sorry. We should probably get going anyways, we told the sitter we’d be back around 6 so we should probably hit the road. Thank you so much for the tour! The shower was beautiful and I’m so glad I could be there for it. We’ll see you guys for the big day soon! Just let me know if you need any help with wedding stuff between now and then okay?” 

“Uh yeah, yeah of course. Thanks for all your help, Con. I’ll um- I’ll let you know if we need anything.” You stammered as Connie pulled you in for a hug goodbye, followed quickly by Steve, who planted a few pats on your back mid hug. 

“Bye sweetheart, thanks for letting me steal this asshole for golf today. See y’all when you’re gettin’ ready to get hitched! Adios, loser.” Steve chuckled as he pulled away from your hug to tug Javi into another, giving him an even harder pat on the back before letting Connie say her goodbyes as well. 

“Do you want me to walk you guys down to your-” 

“Nah, we’ll find our way out, no worries. Bye lovebirds, see ya soon.” Steve grinned, giving the both of you one last wave farewell before disappearing down the stairs, their hushed bickers about Steve’s unnecessary comments quietly trailing behind them. Before you could even get a word out to Javi now that the two of you were alone, he was already halfway down the stairs behind the Murphy’s, not even bothering to look back at you as he mumbled under his breath. 

“I’m gonna get the gifts out of the car and go sit outside.” 

“Jav, wait, I-” 

You could feel the lump beginning to swell in your throat, your bottom lip trembling with tears welling in your eyes as you watched Javi storm down the stairs without even so much as an attempt to care about what you had to say, leaving you with nothing but yourself and 5 empty bedrooms that now had you questioning everything you thought you knew about your future with Javi. You felt your body begin to collapse like a sad pile of jello as you melted into a sobbing puddle on the floor, bringing your knees to your chest as you cried into the flowy fabric of your dress, leaving wet stains behind from your tears. Your breaths were rapid and shaky with each muffled sob, trying to rationally grasp on to something, anything, as to why Javi was acting this way. But the more the gears frantically turned in your brain, the more irrational and terrifying your thoughts became. 

This all happened so fucking fast. It’s only been a year since I’ve known him. Is he realizing it’s too much? Am I too much? This was all too fucking good to be true, wasn’t it, you fucking idiot. 

Taking a few more minutes to collect yourself enough to at least stop full on sobbing, you wiped your wet cheeks with the back of your palm, inhaling a trembling deep breath as you mustered up every ounce of courage you could find to face whatever fate was waiting for you downstairs with Javi. 

Each step down the stairs felt heavier than the last, leaving your fingers anxiously drumming against your legs as you saw Javi’s broad body hunched over the side of the unfinished back patio, staring out to the tall grass of your backyard swaying in the warm summer breeze. If it were any other time, you would have rushed up behind him, wrapping your body around his back and attacking him with kisses until the two of you were wound up in a fit of laughter and giggles, happily tangled in each other's bodies. 

Right now, you were terrified to even step too close to him. 

Carefully and quietly sliding open the glass door to the porch, you prayed with every bone in your body you weren’t going to do anything that set Javi off enough to even let you attempt to have a conversation with him about what was going on. The new wood softly creaked under your shoes, making Javi turn his head just enough to acknowledge your presence as you wearily approached him. Taking one more deep breath, you opened your mouth to speak, but with your jaw hanging open, Javi’s words filled the stark silence before yours could. 

“I don’t know if we should get married.” 

Fuck. 

You could practically feel your heart sink to the bottom of your stomach, like the weight of 1,000 bricks had been dropped on your body all at once, hearing that come out of his mouth. You could have mentally tried to brace yourself for a lot of things, but hearing Javi tell you he didn't want to get married anymore sure as hell wasn't one of them.

“Javi, I- baby, what- I don’t- I don’t-” 

“Why the fuck do you even wanna marry me?” 

Your brows scrunched in pain and confusion at the sharp tone of his words, desperate to try and understand what point he was trying to prove in this gut wrenching game he seemed to be playing. 

“Because I- Javi, I- Javi I love you, that’s why.” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper as you sat down next to him on the edge of the porch, leaning over enough to see the tears glistening down his cheeks, his eyes red and puffy as he tried to stifle the sobs rumbling in his chest. He shook his head back and forth before his gaze fell into his lap. 

“You shouldn’t love me.” 

“Javi… what the fuck are you talking about?” you plead, feeling the pain and hurt creeping through your body as you watched the tears he was so desperately trying to fight. With a scornful scoff, Javi shook his head, pressing against his knees to stand, taking a few paces around the porch, burying his hands in his face, his words muffled and muted by his palms covering his mouth. 

“What the fuck am I- I’m not- I’m not what you deserve. I don’t understand how you don’t fucking see that.” 

You followed suit, bringing yourself to stand with your arms crossed tightly across your chest, staring at Javi in bewilderment, biting down on your tongue so hard to keep from bursting into tears you thought you were going to make it bleed. You could feel the storm of pain, anger and confusion brewing deep in the pit of your stomach, your body numb and mind blank. 

“Javier. What the fuck is going on? I don’t understand why-” 

“Because last time I was gonna get married I fucked up everything. For everyone. I hurt everyone I cared about. I went half way around the world and I spent a decade fucking things up even more. How do you know I’m not gonna fuck everything up again? I love you too much to let it happen to you. The thought of ever hurting you even half as I much as I’ve hurt anyone else because of my choices fucking kills me. I can’t do it. I can’t hurt you like I’ve hurt everyone else. I’d never fucking forgive myself. I love you more than anything, Osita. I love you more than anything in the world. You deserve someone who isn’t going to hurt you. Someone who will do right by you, by your family, your future children, I just- fuck- I don’t think that person can be me.” 

A deafening silence hung in the air as you stared blankly at Javi, tears streaming from his tormented brown eyes, his body trembling with devastation and regret. You had no doubt your body mirrored his as the guilt and heartbreak flooded you from head to toe, wondering how in the world you had ever let the man you loved and cared about more than anything feel like he wasn’t enough for you. 

You wished you could speak- to find the words to tell him that he was your everything, the glue that had put you back together when you were convinced there was nothing else that could mend the broken mess that you had become. You wished you could express to him that there was no one on the face of this earth that you would rather spend the rest of your life with than him- that there was no one else you wanted by your side through every moment of your life, the good, the bad and the ugly, more than him. You wished there was a way to tell him that you loved him more than anything, but in that moment, all you could do was grab him and wrap your arms around his waist, squeezing him as tightly as your body would let you, letting your wet face rest against the familiar warmth of his chest as you whispered into the soft fabric of his shirt. 

“Javier Peña, you’re the only person it could be.” 

You could feel his chest begin to rumble with heavy sobs as his arms draped around you, pulling you against his body so closely, it was like his life depended on it, like he couldn’t bear the thought of ever letting you go again. One arm stayed wrapped around your back as the other slid up the back of your neck, his broad palm cradling your head in his grasp, his fingers practically digging into your skin to keep you close as the two of you let yourselves do nothing but hold each other in your teary silence. 

You let one of your hands reach up towards Javi’s face, cupping his jaw and forcing his gaze back on to you, as your thumb traced back and forth along his cheek, wiping away the wetness that had been welling in his eyes. 

“I need you to listen to me, okay?” You asked, waiting until you felt Javi’s head gently nod up and down in understanding in your palm before you continued, “The man you were before doesn’t scare me. If it did, I would have been gone a long time ago. The man you were before has turned you into the man that you’ve become. The man that I want to spend everyday with for the rest of my life. Every good day, every bad day, every painful, hard and shitty day, and every day in between. And I promise that I will spend every last one of those days until the day I die trying my best to convince you that you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And if I die trying, then so be it. I love you, Javi. Don’t you ever think for a second that there is anyone out there that I want to spend the rest of my life with more than you, and I won’t ever let you forget it.” 

It was only moments before both of Javi’s hands were cradling your face, gently trembling as they cupped your soft, wet skin as you locked eyes with his, watching his face shift from terrified to bewildered, thinking he must have misheard what you had just said to him. 

“Osita, I-” 

“Promise me.” 

“Promise you what?” 

“Promise me that you believe me. Promise me that you know I love you more than anything.”

There was a part of Javi’s brain that wished he could find something to prove that he couldn’t. To prove he wasn’t worthy of keeping the promise you had made to him. To convince himself that he had no reason to believe he was worthy of the love you had given him.

But the truth was, for the first time that he could remember, as he looked down at you, the woman who had taken his life and forever changed it for the better, who had helped to heal him in ways he didn’t know he needed, who had cared for him in ways he never thought he deserved, and who had stood by him even as you learned about the ugliest parts of him he never thought he’d forgive himself for, Javier Peña finally realized he had learned what it was like to be worthy of love. 

You had made him realize he was worthy of being loved. 

A small gulp slid down his throat between his shaky breaths, taking a moment to soak in everything about you, before letting his lips ghost across yours as a quiet whisper left his mouth. 

“I promise.” 

And just like that, his lips crashed into yours with a ferocious and tender passion, soaking in every ounce of the sweet flavor of you, a taste he knew he would never tire of, one that he craved like nothing else. 

“I love you, Osita. Fuck, I love you so much.” Javi moaned between your kisses, praying with every bone in his body you knew how much he meant it. 

“I love you too, Javi.” The hot breath of your words danced across his lips before they were crashing together once again, his tongue swiping between your parted mouths as he ran his hand down your back and around your waist, pulling you so close you were convinced your bodies were going to melt into one as you pressed against his broad chest, now needily grasping at fist fulls of his shirt. 

In that moment, it was like the two of you could feel something in the air change. The tension lifting, the frustrated fog fading, the both of you desperately needing the other to know how much you loved them. The Javi you knew and loved had come back, returning home to you. All of the fear and sadness was replaced by a rampant desperation to know how much you needed him, almost as much as he needed to show you how hopelessly he craved you, too. 

With your bodies still tangled together, your kisses became messier and sloppier as you backed your way towards the door that lead inside, stumbling and trampling over each other’s feet without any regard for where you were headed until you felt your back bump against the kitchen island, the rounded edges of the countertop stopping you in your tracks as Javi caged you between his broad figure and the island. 

Both of your hands were now feverishly roaming across each other’s bodies before Javi had run his hands down your thighs, hoisting you up to sit on the countertop, planting hot, wet kisses across your neck and collarbone while his fingers crept under the hem of your dress, his palms sliding up and down your legs, digging his fingers into your flesh. 

“Javi…” You whimpered, letting your eyes close and head fall back as he sucked at your pulse point, leaving you with one hand bracing yourself against the edge of the counter and the other with your fingers wrapped around the navy fabric of Javi’s shirt, clinging on for dear life. 

You eyes opened, and gaze shifted downwards as you felt Javi pull away from your grasp, watching him drop to his knees, slotting himself between your parted legs and kissing the inside of your thighs while his hands tugged at the waistband of your already soaked underwear, hastily shuffling them to fall down your legs and pool at your ankles. His needy kisses up your thighs crept closer and closer to your core as your legs draped over his shoulders, kneeling before you like you were the altar of everything he worshiped as his deep brown eyes looked up at yours, like he was begging for forgiveness for his sins. 

“I’m so sorry, Osita. I’m so sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean it. Fuck, I love you so much. Let me show me how much I love you. Please, baby. Please let me show you how much I need to be yours.” 

Your response was nothing but a ragged moan as you felt his hot breath hovering over your cunt before letting long, flat licks of his tongue drag through your folds, each swipe pressing firmer than the last, lapping up the arousal dripping from your entrance like a sweet nectar. With one hand still white knuckling the edge of the countertop, the other shot down to bury itself in the dark curls of Javi’s thick locks, tugging at ends to find some place to ease your tension as he began to flick and swirl his tongue relentlessly against your clit, lapping you up like a man starved. 

“Oh fuck Javi- fuck- you feel so good, baby.” You moaned, raking your fingers along Javi’s scalp as you watched his head bob nestled between your legs, feeling the low hum of satisfaction thrumming in his throat as he began to suck your sensitive bundle of nerves, latching his lips around your clit as his mouth worked feverishly against your cunt. You could already feel the tingle beginning to grow at the base of your spine and spread to your legs as Javi found every sweet spot that he knew made you lose all control, desperate to make you feel how much he needed your love and forgiveness. 

“That’s it, sweet girl. Let go for me baby, I’ve got you.” Javi hummed before diving back between your legs, tightening his grip around your thighs as his tongue danced around your clit relentlessly. It wasn’t long before you could feel your orgasm begin to flood your body, pleasure crashing through you as you cried out his name, a death grip clutching around the counter and Javi’s dark locks. Javi worked you through your high, drinking up the juices of your slick as you came, feeling your legs tremble as they stayed slung over his broad shoulders, not stopping until your body was shaking and your whimpers and moans had become so wrecked, he had no choice but to stop to relish in the blissed out, dripping mess he had made you. He would have loved to stay like this forever, watching you become more and more wrecked beneath his tongue, the want, no, need, to be buried inside your heat, getting lost in your wetness and warmth, savoring in the way no one else would ever be able to have you like he did, to know that you were his. 

Javi worked in a determined silence, rusting with his belt buckle until the metal clangs of it opening had his pants and boxers in a puddle around his ankles, splaying kisses across your neck as he slid you towards the edge of the counter, his fingers digging into your hips with a bruising intensity. He stroked himself a few times as he lined his cock up with your entrance, guiding his tip through the glistening arousal covering your folds, leaving his dick shiny with your slick as you whimpered into his skin. 

“Javi… Please, baby. I need you.” You whimpered, instinctively bucking your hips towards him, desperately craving him to ease the achy emptiness between your legs. 

Resting his forehead against yours, the dark, damp curls of his hair brushed your skin, the hot and heavy heat of each of your shaky breaths melting into one another’s as your lips ghosted his, only fully meeting yours to catch the moan that had escaped your mouth as he pushed himself into your heat, letting himself bottom out, his tip brushing against your cervix. You couldn’t help but wrap your legs around the small of his back and drape your arms over his shoulders, desperate to have your bodies needily tangled and intertwined together as you savored in the sweet sting and stretch of his fullness. 

He began to rock his hips, letting his cock drag in and out of your cunt, taking his time with each stroke, the movement making you dig your fingernails into the fabric of his shirt stretched over his muscular back, in turn, making the grip he had around your waist even tighter, his fingers buried in the soft flesh of your stomach where his hands had crept under your dress. 

The way he punched up into you, perfectly pounding against your g-spot with each thrust, combined with the way the hairs at his base rubbed along your clit, already had the inevitable coil beginning to tighten in your belly. You dug your nails deeper into Javi’s skin, grasping for the damp curls at the nape of his neck, your whimpers growing louder and more desperate with each stroke as you could feel yourself beginning to crumble beneath him. 

Each stroke seemed to become deeper and fuller than the last, Javi’s pace now climbing in speed and intensity as he felt your cunt clench tighter and tighter around his cock, knowing that familiar feeling meant you were coming closer to your end. You could barely muster anything but a whimper, your soft pleads and begs going straight to his dick as he slid and out of your wet heat. 

“Fuck baby, don’t stop- ahhhh- please don’t stop, I’m so close.” 

The lewd sounds of skin hitting skin and low, ragged moans echoed against the bare walls of your unfinished kitchen as Javi fucked deeper and deeper into you, singing sweet, soft praises against your skin between locking your lips with yours. 

“Fuck- Dámelo, Hermosa (Give it to me, beautiful). Need to feel you soak my cock before I fuck you full of me. It’s okay mi amor- mierda- té tengo. (my love- shit- I’ve got you.) I’ve always got you. Forever.” 

You could feel your legs lock even tighter around Javi’s waist as heat began to bloom in your belly, only needing a few more thrusts as you rolled your hips against his before your mind went blank and vision went white, your orgasm crashing through your body and flooding every inch of you with pleasure so intense, you could feel yourself going limp in his grasp. 

“Fuck, Javi, fuck, fuck, fuck, oh my god-ahhhhhhhh-” You whimpered as Javi fucked you through your high, now desperate to chase his own as his thrusts became rushed and sloppy, pounding into you as your walls gripped around his cock like a vice. Your warmth and wetness consumed him, only needing a few more pumps before he could feel himself following suit, hissing through gritted teeth as incoherent babbles spilled from his lips. 

“There it is, baby. Fuck- fuck, you’re so fucking perfect. I love you so much, Osita. Con todo mi corazón. (With my whole heart). Oh fuck- I’m yours forever. Oh shit, I’m gonna cum to, oh fuckkkkkk.” 

With one last thrust, Javi finished buried deep inside you, hot ropes of his cum coating your walls as a slick mixture of spend leaked down your thighs, leaving him panting while he slumped into your shoulder, his chest heaving with labored breaths, trying to compose himself. Bracing himself with one palm flat against the counter next to your hip, his other hand reached up to your face, brushing away a piece of stray hair back into place before gently cupping your cheek as he spoke. 

“Osita, baby, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you so much. I didn’t mean what I said earlier, I just- fuck- I’ve never been so sure of anything, but when we were at golf today, Steve brought up Lorraine, and I- I just was so scared I was gonna fuck everything up again, and I-” 

“Oh God, he brought up Lorraine?! Jesus. I knew it. I knew this was Steve’s fucking fault.” You sighed, quietly laughing to yourself as you shook your head. 

“Wait, how did you-” 

“Because it just seemed so strange that you were acting like this all of a sudden. You got back from golfing with him and it was like you were a different person. I mean, I’m not gonna lie, I was freaked out and panicking wondering what happened because you’ve never acted like that before. That, and because I love Steve, but he’s an idiot.” The two of you were both now laughing, Javi rubbing his hand over his face before rolling his eyes, wondering to himself how he had really let his friend’s stupid comment get the best of him. 

“I’m so sorry, Osita. I should have just ignored it, I just hadn’t thought about it in so long and I was so terrified to mess everything up again. It would kill me to hurt you like that.” His thumb circled around your cheek as he tilted your gaze to meet his, sincerity and remorse swirling in the dark pools of his chocolate brown eyes. 

“Javi, listen, if this is moving too fast, or it’s too much for you, I want you to be able to tell me, I understand if-” Before you could finish your sentence, Javi’s lips were planted tenderly against yours, pulling away from your mouth with a goofy grin and satisfied sigh. 

“I promise you, I’ve never wanted anything more. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I can’t wait to marry you,” he leaned in, pressing a quick kiss on your cheek, “I can’t wait to live in our new house with you,” he grinned, planting another ticklish kiss on your neck, “I can’t wait until we can finally start filling up these empty rooms with little baby Peñas” Javi chuckled, now peppering kisses all over your body, making you erupt in a fit of laughter and giggles, squirming and flailing in his grasp, playfully swatting at him. “I can’t wait to spend every day for the rest of my life with the most beautiful, amazing woman I’ve ever met.” He smirked, tilting his head to let your mouths meet again, this kiss filled with a tender passion and intensity unmatched by his previous playful ones. 

It was the kind of kiss that said all of the things that words couldn’t. The kind of kiss that had butterflies fluttering in your stomach like the first kiss you had shared in Maria’s bathroom almost a year ago. The kind of kiss that made you fall even deeper in love with him, even when you thought you couldn’t. 

It was also the kind of kiss  where everything else in the world seemed to melt away and make time stand still, a kiss that you could have stayed lost in forever… unless a certain someone hadn’t forgotten his wallet at your house and needed to come back and get it. 

You were so oblivious to anything else happening around you, that neither you or Javi had heard your front door open, followed by the rushed, impatient footsteps of Steve and Connie, arguing about where Steve could have left his wallet, and how on earth he could have left without realizing it was missing from its usual home in his back pocket. 

“Seriously, Steve, I can’t believe we’re gonna waste a whole hour having to turn around and come back here because you couldn’t remember your wallet!” 

“Con, I told you, it’s right on the counter, I know where it is, lemme just go grab it really quick and then we ca- Oh Jesus fucking Christ!” Steve shouted, walking into the kitchen to see you and Javi making out on your island, your dress pushed up well past your legs, and Javi’s bare ass on display from his pants still pooling around his ankles. 

“Ahhhhh!” You and Javi shrieked, practically jumping out of your skin to see Steve’s tall and lanky frame frozen in your kitchen, now scrambling to try and fix your clothes and hair to try and save yourselves at least some dignity. 

“What the hell are you two doin’?!” Steve grimaced, trying not to cackle to himself as Connie rushed up behind him to see what was happening, only to very quickly cover her eyes and turn away from you and Javi. 

“Us?! What the hell are you doing here? Jesus, you ever heard of fucking knocking, Murph?!” Javi groaned, shuffling his pants back up and fixing his hair before helping you off the counter, trying your best to hide your beet red, embarrassed face. 

“I forgot my wallet! Forgive me for thinkin’ you two would keep your hands off each other for long enough to let me come pick it up in peace.” Steve frowned, raising up his hands in defense. 

“I’m sorry! I told him to call you to let you know he was coming to pick it up, but he seemed to think it wasn’t a big deal.” Connie scolded, giving Steve a forceful nudge of her elbow before finally turning back around to face you and Javi, knowing you were at least halfway decent. “God, I love you, but you are an idiot.” 

“You can say that again…” You snickered under your breath, just loud enough to make Javi and Connie join in your laughter, leaving Steve with his arms crossed over his chest, rolling his eyes in annoyance. 

“Hey, listen. Call me what you want, but I don’t think you’ll be callin’ me an idiot when you need me to come babysit your 47 kids so the two of you can get some…” He paused gesturing to you and Javi’s disheveled state, “... time to yourselves. Like I said earlier, y’all gotta lot of rooms to fill, and I don’t think you’re gonna have any problem doin’ it.” 

And for as much as you wanted to give Steve the ten pounds of shit he deserved, as you looked up at Javi standing next to you, you couldn’t really even bring yourself to be mad. Because in the end, the only thing that mattered was him- the man you were going to spend the rest of your life with. The one who was your future, the one who stood with you through every twist and turn, the one who was your home. What started as a day that had you questioning everything had turned into one that had never made you feel more assured. You knew that Javier Peña loved you more than life itself, and you knew that you were so lucky to spend the rest of your life getting to prove to him over and over that you loved him just as much. 

Taglist:

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ੈ✩‧₊˚ PADDOCK TO PADDOCK FINAL PART

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lando norris x f!horse rider!reader

authors note: for the purpose of this i need you to imagine lando flew straight back to monaco the monday after vegas and didn’t need to fly to abu dhabi till thursday night… thank u

lando.jpg just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

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lando.jpg early birthday celebrations🇧🇷

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user3 CARLANDOOOO

user5 them going to brazil early just to hang out is so :(

user1 day 3 of the y/n drought and i just cried over a photo of her by a pool

user4 okay but who’s the third wheel….

user10 definitely y/n

landonorris it’s me they’ve rallied against me

carlossainz55 just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

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carlossainz55 gracias são paulo, now onto the race☀️

👤 tagged yourusername

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user7 oh so lando wasn’t kidding about him being a third wheel😭

user15 CARLOS AND Y/N DRINKING TOGETHER AHAHAHA AM I SENSING A NEW DUO

user2 can’t wait for people to start rumours about them now xo

user5 carlando holiday with added y/n,,,, my dream🥹

user4 i know y/n’s phone is full of such cute carlando photos this break couldn’t have come at a worse time

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y/nupdates y/n at the paddock with lily today for the quali of the brazil grand prix!! someone said lando gave her the stitch plushie when they arrived and she’s not let it go🥹

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user1 she looks sO HAPPY

user14 lando getting to see her every day and still stalking her fanpages is so adorable to me

user4 he’s just like all of us fr

user8 i’m so sad she can’t be with him on his birthday :( you know she’d give us the cutest lan content

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mclaren not much to see here. just lando norris things👀🧡

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user4 LANDOOOO

user14 cause he had his good luck charm there😌

mclaren 👀 we’re going to miss her

user5 future wdc coming

user8 THE WAY HE KISSED Y/N WHEN HE GOT P2😭

texts with lando ੈ✩‧₊˚

birthday texts with lando ੈ✩‧₊˚

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landonorris thanks for all the birthday wishes🤙🏻 had lots of fun with cake, golf and very fitting gifts which my girlfriend enjoyed🕶️

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user2 THE GLASSES😭😭😭

user4 IN TEARS

user5 more carlando and y/nlando content😭😭😭😭 we are THRIVING this week

user12 you’re so cute🥹

alex_albon tell y/n she’s so welcome for the laughs

landonorris she also loved the cardboard cutout of you

y/nupdates just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

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y/nupdates best of luck to both @/yourusername and @/landonorris who compete today in respective competitions🩷 neither had a particularly positive saturday so we’re hoping they can bounce back stronger than ever!

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user7 good luck guys🥹

user8 masterclasses incoming

user13 y/n looked so nervous yesterday i hope she’s okay

user1 i think she had watched the quali before her own qualifying because her interview she said she had been distracted all morning😭

landonorris 🧡

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texts with lando ੈ✩‧₊˚

y/nupdates just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

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y/nupdates SHE’S ONLY GONE AND DONE IT😭 in her final competition before the winter rest, @/yourusername surprised everyone after a rough saturday and took gold with TWO ALL CLEARS🥹🩷 so proud of our girl!!! now she gets to enjoy her rest

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user3 CRYING IM SO PROUD

user12 SHE DID SO WELL

user1 devastated over lando but SO HAPPY FOR Y/N

landonorris that’s my girl🧡

user4 HI KING HOPE UR OKAY

lilymhe THATS MY OLYMPIAN😎 BRING ON PARIS 2024

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landonorris not how we wanted it to go but thank you for all your messages of support🧡 maybe not the best day for me but it certainly was for my girl, proud as hell

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user4 THE PHOTO ON THE STRETCHER YOURE SO UNSERIOUS

carlossainz55 glad you’re okay mate❤️

user5 glad you’re okay lando :( so proud of you no matter what <3

user1 him including y/n on the post🥹 they’re so in love

yourusername you’ll be back🧡

landonorris my superstar

user2 Y/N COMING BACK ONLINE JUST TO COMMENT OH I LOVE THEM

texts with charles and lily ੈ✩‧₊˚

yourusername just posted stories ੈ✩‧₊˚

lilymhe just posted stories ੈ✩‧₊˚

landonorris just posted stories ੈ✩‧₊˚

yourusername just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

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yourusername happy belated birthday my love @/landonorris. no one deserves to be celebrated more than you, and i hope i get to do this for a long time in the future. biggest thanks to my co conspirators @/charles_leclerc and @/lilymhe for making this happen. the rumours and the drama were all worth it

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landonorris and with that, the 2023 season comes to a close. it’s been a busy one, not the most perfect end race wise, but one i will always remember because of you — my true prize🧡 so excited to see what you can do going forward. paris 2024 is going to be yours

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—————

a/n: ANDDDD that’s it :’) semi anti climactic i know but i just enjoyed writing this and wanted it to have a simple soppy ending so

considering doing a mini epilogue to show their lives as it carries on? lmk if that’s something you’d like to see eek

back to one shots i go eeeek

- giselle xx

taglist: @idkiwantchocolatee @vellicora @alessioayla @bborra @crimeshowjunkie @minkyungseokie @paolexsstuff @celestialpato @champagnelovers101 @loxbbg @hobiismyhopeu @tsukishitm-a @moonypixel @champagneproblems17 @ironmaiden1313 @lqvesoph @sunflower-golden-vol6 @six-call @skatingiswalkingincursive @peqch-pie @m0cha-bunny @woozarts @he6rtshaker @iluvvmeeee @goldenalbon @izzy-marvel @lucyysthings @lichterfee

[ellastone-olsen]

Hi there! Can I request Agatha Harkness x virgin! reader with smut? I thought maybe Agatha and reader first time

Something super soft 🥹🥹

Stay with me - Agatha Harkness

DO NOT COPY ANY OF MY WORKS. MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY

Summary: The date ended in Agatha's bed. There's only one thing you didn't tell her. This is the end?

Pairing: Agatha Harkness x f!reader

Warnings: SMUT, top!Agatha, sub!reader,fluffy fluf fluf and again fluf, a lot of kisses, hurt/comfort, first time, age gap, a little dirty talk, praise kink

DISCLAIMER: ENGLISH ISN'T MY FIRST LANGUAGE SORRY FOR GRAMMAR OR SPELLING MISTAKES

Word count: 1.5k

AN: Hi anon! Thanks for the request! I've been feeling sad and anxious lately so it felt really pleasantly to write something sweet like this. I hope you'll enjoy <3

You don’t remember how many dates you’ve gone on together but you already knew exactly how it would end today. Agatha sat opposite you in a stunning white suit with a revealing cutout at the chest. Usually the woman wore something more modest, but her outfit today, more frequent touching and obvious little teasing spoke for itself. The prospect of a night with her filled you with excitement, excitement and... fear. You never told her that you were a virgin, afraid of disappointing the older woman with your childish inexperience. Besides due to the age difference, you always tried to be older than your age for her.

You poured yourself another glass of red wine, which she carefully ordered to suit her taste. Dinner was coming to the end, a hand with a neat red manicure rested on your thigh. "If you're done we can go." Something dropped in your stomach. “Will you stay with me tonight?” Oh my God... Your cheeks flushed with color and you just nodded shyly and silently began to get ready. Agatha noticed that you were unusually quiet, took your chin and raised your head to look at you. “Superstar, is everything okay? If you want to go home, tell me, I’ll take you.” Her blue eyes looked at you with boundless tenderness and your heart shrink. You shook your head “No Aggie everything is fine.”

Agatha's dark purple Nissan parked in the driveway. When the front door closed behind you, Agatha’s arms wrapped around your waist, pushing you closer to her. "Hi". Your heartbeat quickened. "Hi. We were together all evening, did you forget?” She studied your face for a few seconds, her eyes shining, the woman gave you a smile before leaning down and pulling you into a gentle, slow kiss. Sometimes she treated you like you were made of porcelain. Your hands grabbed her shoulders and then slid into her mischievous dark hair. Her chest pressed against yours and the feeling was driving you crazy. Only after a minute or two did Agatha let go of you and bury her face in the crook of your neck. “Shall we go to my room?” A quiet whisper broke the moment of silence.

With slow steps, without breaking the kiss, she led you to her large plush bed. You've already been in her house, woke up with her in her arms, but it never went as far as now. You fell onto the bed and Agatha straddled your hips, kissing you over and over as she began to lightly grind you. When her mouth descended on your neck, your back arched from the feeling of her light bites and kisses, she found your erogenous zone too quickly and accurately. “Oh my God Aggie, so good..” She pulled away and looked at you with the question “Already? I haven’t started doing anything yet baby.” Your cheeks turned red and you buried your face in the pillow, avoiding looking at her.

Agatha began to add 2 and 2, analyzing your behavior throughout this evening. Holy shit..."Baby?" She tried to get your attention back. “Mmmmm?” You muttered something into the pillow. The woman gently took your face in her hands, turning you to look at her. Agatha decided not to delay and ask directly, “Are you a virgin?” While you were thinking about telling the truth or lying, the silence dragged on and she didn’t need your words to understand that the answer was affirmative. “Why didn’t you tell me? What if I hurt you?" Tears began to accumulate in the corners of your eyes, it seemed to you that she was angry at you, you thought that now she would leave.

Agatha took this as a sign that you didn’t want all this and began to get off you. Her heart sank. You stopped her by grabbing her hand. “Stay” little whines and sobs came from you. The woman sat down next to you on the edge of the bed and wiped away the tears from your face with her thumb. “I don’t understand baby, talk to me.” There was clearly concern and excitement in her tone. You took a couple of breaths. “I wanted to be old enough for you. I thought that you would leave if you found out that I’m not as experienced as you.”

Agatha sighed and took your hand. Her face moved closer to yours and small kisses peppered your cheeks. “How could you even think that? If I had been embarrassed by your age, we wouldn’t have even had one date. Please tell me everything from now on." You sat up to look into her eyes. "Aren't you upset?" "I'm only upset because you didn't tell me." You wiped the remaining tears from your cheeks and reached out to her for a hug. "Sorry Aggie."

Your lips found hers again and the older woman returned to your lap. "I'll be careful." She whispered and her deft hands began to undress you. When the upper part of your body was freed from clothes, her lips fell on your nipple, softly biting and licking the bites. Your hand slid into Agatha’s hair, pressing her closer. The feeling of her mouth on your chest made you needy and wet. You began to rub your thighs, which did not go unnoticed by the older woman. “Does my baby girl want more already?” “Mmmm yes Aggie please.” Another kiss, but more bold than before. Her tongue finds the entrance to your mouth and she begins grinding your thighs again, eliciting a series of whines and sighs from you. “Fuck...” You grab her hips to help her move. It’s Agatha’s turn to moan, “Damn baby, you’re so beautiful, I want you so bad.”

Your hands took off your jacket along with her tank top and threw it somewhere on the floor of the room. The sight of her bare breasts made your mouth water. "Can i?" Such a sweet question and your puppy dog ​​eyes drove her insane and she wordlessly pulled your head towards her. You played with her nipples, then moved to her neck, your hands found their way between her legs through the fabric of her pants, but she grabbed your wrist. "No no no, now it's about your pleasure." "But I..". You didn’t agree when she got off you and undressed you completely.

Her eyes darkened at the amount of moisture between your soft thighs. She kissed everywhere: neck, chest, stomach, thighs. You squirmed and whined under her. "Please, please touch me." She gave in and settled between your legs, softly licking and sucking your swollen clit. "OH MY GOD FUCK AGGIE." The scream that came out of your mouth was music to her ears. “So sensitive and responsive. God I won’t stop until you cum all over my face.”

Another series of licks, you are the most delicious thing she has ever tasted, she was already addicted to the feeling of your thighs around her head. “Do you want my fingers inside baby?” She stopped and bit her thigh. “Yes please, I need it so much.” You covered your face with your hands, mumbling inaudibly. Agatha rubbed her cheek against your thigh, teasingly. “Have you ever touched yourself? Did you put your fingers in that pretty pussy?” A hum of agreement came from somewhere above. “Tell me how it was? What were you thinking about when you came?” Shame consumed you all. Your hips rose towards her mouth, urging her to take action. "I won't continue until you answer."

Through shame you began to speak. “I...I thought about you that evening. I just returned home after our date...” Silence filled the room. "Continue." The woman insisted and bit your thigh. “I’ve never done anything like this before. But you were so beautiful. I couldn't resist. I did it and when I came I thought only of you.” You said it in one breath, two of Agatha’s fingers were already rubbing your entrance. The woman was very flattered by all this. “You’re a good girl Y/N. Such a good girl for me.” The tips of her fingers were in you, “Such a pretty little thing.” The praise made you clench tighter around her. “Someone likes to be praised.” Her fingers went even deeper and were completely inside. She waited for your permission before moving. Her fingertips rubbed and hit that nice spot inside you so well. “FUCK FUCK GOD YES.” You screamed as she took your clit into her mouth again. The stimulation felt so good, you raised your hips to meet hers and grabbed her hair with your hands. Your wetness dripped onto her palm, and it didn’t take two minutes for you to cum around her. “That’s it baby, so wet and tight. This is all for me." The woman prolonged your orgasm and then licked you clean. You were lying on your back, she got up and lay down next to you, pressing her lips to yours. "My good girl."

You remembered that Agatha had not cum yet and finally tried to take off her pants. “Show me how to please you.”

[orchidshow]

credit | @ianrkives ty for making such a cute divider!! pls go show some support

A/N | this is my first fic please be kind also sorry if its not that good lol :) i might make more if this doesn't go bad!

wordcount | 1.6k

Two Peas in a Pod | Hasanabi x Reader

Her finger clicked the mouse relentlessly as she played the clip for the tenth time that evening.

“I mean - its content. It's not necessarily bad, if you get what I mean, but it's kind of junk food content, I think most of our streams can get like that.” Hasan explains to Will as he puts the cutout of your face on the F-tier of his stream. She sees the room go silent at his statement, the sharp intake of breath from Will and an uncomfortable giggle from Austin prompting him to speak again.

“What, you act like you want me to lie or something,” Hasan jokes. She sits in silence as the clip replays and the words are mumbled in the background. The frequent ringing of her phone wasn't helping at that moment. No matter where she clicked, it was just another video talking about the clip, or a friend messaging her to see if she had seen it. It's not like she didn't care about her content. The words hurt - the hours she'd spent preparing new streams and nurturing her community had been reduced to "junk food content".

“He's a total asshole who cares what he thinks,” one of her friends complained over the phone. Each of her complaints about him tripped over another. She could see the support, but felt distanced, as if all they could hear was the repeated line about junk.

The conversation remains silent while they wait for her to speak. “Do you think what I'm doing is bad -be honest, I'm not going to cry or anything,” she murmured, pressing her knees against her arms

“No way - just because you're not sitting in a chair for nine hours a day, your content is suddenly inferior - fuck that.” Says her friend. She feels something strange - an inclination to defend him, a part of her - a tiny part that believes he didn’t mean it - urging her to say no. She wasn't naïve, she and Hasan weren't close by any means, sure, they'd worked together before and it went well, but it was just that, a collaboration. Apart from streaming, she had never texted Hasan or called him.

A heavy sigh escaped her lips as she said, “I’ll just let it go - I mean, I’m going to Turkey with Will next week and that's the last thing I need right now.” Her phone rang incessantly; fan accounts came to her rescue, berating Hasan in the worst possible way. Other creators had sent her messages asking her to come on stream and explain her side. She knew they were trying to get somewhere, pushing her, goading her to make a statement about something she didn't want to talk about. She ended the call before turning her phone off completely.

The next week dragged on. The next day she had come up with a bullshit excuse about having food poisoning. In reality, she didn't feel like streaming. She didn't want to read the walls of her chat asking for a reply, it was humiliating, she thought.

When the next Monday had come, she found herself in the airport, eyes searching for Will. The place was full of atmosphere as she clutched her boarding pass tighter. As her eyes fell on Will walking towards her, she noticed a towering figure looming behind him.

Hasan is here.

His hair peeked through his cap, unruly strands creeping underneath. His eyes fixed on hers, and she noticed something in them - regret? Guilt? It was too early to worry about that. When Will meets her, she looks at him in frustration as her gaze flickers back and forth between Hasan and Will.

“ I’m just as surprised about this as you are, okay?” Will declares anxiously. She sighs in exasperation as she grabs her bags and makes her way to the plane.

The journey has been nothing less than painful.

She puts on her headphones and selects the loudest setting to hopefully distract herself from the situation. Her hopes are dashed when she feels a tap against her shoulder. Hoping it was a curious toddler or a perverted old man, she turns around and sees Hasan.

“Listen - about the ranking thing, I just wanted to say-” Hasan stammers, before putting her headphones back on. The silence between the two of them continued throughout the flight. She could feel his eyes boring into her whenever she rose from her seat. ‘I am here with Will, I am not going to entertain him," she repeats to herself like a hopeful mantra.

When the flight landed, Turkey was simply beautiful. Will and her (and Hasan) immersed themselves in the popular tourist spots and markets. On the stream, everything looked perfect, they could joke with each other and it looked like they were all getting on well. But as soon as they left the stream, things took a turn for the worse.

Every time Hasan tried to start a conversation with her, she reacted quickly and indifferently. Several times he found himself leaning over her and trying to talk to her, but she only responded by running away. The fans had got wind of it. Videos kept popping up on the internet showing her and Hasan off camera, walking away in the turkey. People suspected that the argument had got worse and wondered when she would speak to him.

On the fifth day she was exhausted. The hours of trying to keep up appearances and pretend she didn't want to rip his head off were beginning to wear on her. When the stream was over, she walked away from the group, texted Will so he wouldn't worry, and went to a dimly lit bar on a side street.

She was tired of feeling feelings and pretending she didn't feel them. As the minutes turned into hours, she got drunker and drunker.

As she left the bar, her legs walked unsteadily and cautiously while her head spun incessantly. She found herself on the steps of a cobbled street, felt all her emotions welling up inside her and began to sob. She lost track of time as her head rested in her hands and the tears fell uncontrollably.

“Where the hell have you been?” Hasan asked in a voice that resonated with anger and relief. She takes her head out of his hands and waves him away.

“Listen - you don't have to play nice with me, I can take care of myself,” she slurs, staring at the ground next to Hasan's feet.

“...And you handle yourself by crying in public in front of a sleazy bar?” he asks sarcastically.

“...fuck you,” she replies drunkenly.

He mumbles something before shaking off his jacket and putting it over her shoulders. “Let's go back to the hotel,” he urges her as he grabs her by the arm and tries to get her to stand up.

“Dude - you do not have to pretend to care, it's fine,” she spits out gruffly, shaking his grip. Hasan’s chest tightens, guilt flooding his body as he struggles for words.

“I am sorry, if I could, I'd take back what I said,” he says, his voice barely higher than a whisper.

 “It's a bit late for that - you said it and everyone saw it,” she scoffs, pushing herself off the cobbles and making her way back to the hotel. Strong arms wrap around her legs as Hasan lifts her up and throws her over his shoulders.

“If we walk, it’ll take you all night,” he says as his grip tightens around her waist. It was eerily quiet on the way back to the hotel. Neither of them knew where they stood. They knew boundaries had been crossed and feelings had been hurt, but they did not know what to do next. As the lights from the hotel sign illuminated their bodies, Hasan's sniffling became more apparent to her. He was crying.

 “I am really sorry, I was not thinking - I can not imagine how much shit I put you through,” he chokes out as he sets her down on the lobby floor. Her eyes stay in contact, her gaze feels lighter, almost as if she trusts him. Hasan leads her to her room, lets her in and sits on the edge of the bed.

“Don’ go...” she slurs, wrapping her arms tightly around his body.

“I won't,” he replies gently; he feels her body snuggle against him, her eyes grow heavy and begin to close. He pulls her closer to him and lets her rest against his body. As the night wore on, they both fell asleep. Hasan had cuddled her to his chest in the morning and breathed in the soft scent of her perfume.

When she woke up, the sunlight was streaming through the curtains, bathing his face in a soft light. She felt lighter, as if the energy had completely shifted. The realisation that she was so close to him made her stagger backwards and fall off the bed in a tangle of blankets. A heavy moan from her woke Hasan and made him look over the side of the bed.

“Did we…?” she asked, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

 “No, no, we just fell asleep,” he reassures her, his morning voice echoing through the room. She pushes herself off the floor, claws her way back onto the bed and sits down awkwardly.

“So… Junk food content, huh?” she explains with a grin. Hasan nudges her cheekily and enjoys her giggles. The heaviness between them had disappeared. For the first time, it felt intimate between them, bigger than a collaboration or a friendship.

[bettyfrommars]

Handcuffs & Crab Rangoon

(also known as How I Met Your Mother)

playgirl!Eddie x Reader

By Request! From this ask, directly inspired by this delicious artwork by @sporelium (run don't walk if you haven't seen it yet) but also inspired by the 1995 Peter Steele Playgirl cover. Peter notoriously kept his joystick hard for most of the 6-7 hour shoot because he thought readers of the magazine would enjoy it more than if it were flaccid (I'm fine either way, but damn, thanks baby). wc: 4.3k

18+Only, mature content, smut, rockstar!Eddie, oral (f receiving), protected p in v, reader wears overalls, pet names, fingering, mention of Eddie's scars, accidental edging, sex on the job, sneaky sex, she/her is used once, no y/n, reader is a tough cookie, but Eddie is magic. It is the mid-90's.

Playgirl!eddie afterthoughts

---------

You’d been helping out a photographer for risqué magazine shoots as an assistant for almost 5 months now.  It was the fourth job you had just to keep yourself afloat while trying to live an independent life in LA. To make it in show business you had to be extremely talented, drop dead gorgeous, backed by generational wealth, or just plain lucky, and you were none of those.  So, you broke your back to make ends meet while taking night classes and working on the script you were writing with two other friends.

The studio loft on the second floor was an expansive space with windows overlooking the industrial district all along the wall.  Sasha, the photographer, stood adjusting her camera on the tripod, while the makeup artist touched up the rockstar you were working with that day, and Need You Tonight by INXS played low from the radio on a nearby shelf.  

You saw him from the back first; long, dark wavy hair hanging down over the white robe he wore to protect his modesty for the time being.  You noticed that his hands were strong and calloused as they hung at his sides.  June, the makeup artist, was on a step stool to blot his nose with powder and fix the crown of his hair.  

June saw you coming and introduced you, causing Eddie to turn on his heel, tightening the sash on his robe as he did.

You sucked in your bottom lip to hold back a whimper at the zing you felt when his warm hazelnut eyes met yours.  His full, soft lips parted in greeting, a long strand from his bangs bouncing on his eyelash, his gaze rolling over you from head to foot indulgently.

Of course, you’d heard of rock star Eddie Munson from Corroded Coffin. At one of your other jobs, a girl you worked with had his magazine cutouts taped to the inside of her locker.  Last year, he was Cher’s date to the Grammys.  He was getting ready to go on tour, and procuring tickets was all any of your friends could talk about.

But, goddamn, he was much better looking in person than any tabloid or tv show could've ever prepared you for, and the chemistry vibrating in the space between the two of you was palpable.  

“Eddie…Munson, you say?” You squinted, as if you were trying to place him, like the name sounded familiar but you didn’t know why while June fixed the back of his hair. “Football player, right?”

The tip of his tongue sipped out to wet his lips, curling one side of his mouth up in a half grin.  “I love a girl who knows her sports.”

There were a few loaded seconds there when the two of you just sank into a sexually charged stare-down, both unwilling to budge.  

Sasha called your name, snapping you out of it.  She came over to let Eddie know what your role was, and encouraged him to let you know if there was anything you could do to help him relax.  She finished explaining a few things to him while you brought over a glass of lemon water.  

Sasha walked away and he took a sip, keeping his eyes on you over the glass, smirking.

“What?” you mirrored the smirk.  “This will be such an easy job for me because I know you rockstars don’t have any problem taking your cocks out and being admired in public.”

“Oh, you know me, huh?” He challenged.

You worked your jaw, pussy clenching, wondering what he looked like out of his robe.  “You’re all the same, aren’t you? Arrogant, over-sexed, and too pretty for your own good.”

“Well, you got me on the pretty part,” he winked.  “But nah, I’m not a rockstar.  I’m just a small-town freak who got lucky and, this has all been fucking overwhelming to tell you the truth.”  Eddie was tall, with broad shoulders, and your mouth dried up a little at the tattoos on his forearms that peeked out from under the sleeve of the robe.

You took the glass from him when he was finished.  “We have the small town thing in common, at least,” you said with an incline of your head.

It was time to get started, but even as Sasha motioned him over, he paused next to you, so close that the ends of his hair grazed your shoulder.  “So, if I can’t get relaxed on my own, then that means you have to help me?”  He whispered it, but forcefully, so you could feel his warm breath on the side of your head.  You could smell the mix of spearmint and tobacco.

Keeping your eyes straight ahead, you swallowed hard as the woodsy spice of his scent hit your nostrils.  “I’ll do my best for you, Mr. Munson,” and then you dared to glance up, your breath hitching as he unfastened his robe and lowered it from his shoulders right in front of you, only a few feet away.  

You tried not to show emotion because you knew he was watching, but you closed your mouth to keep a yearning mew from escaping.  There were tattoos scattered around his defined muscles, but there were also fascinating scars like floral blooms along his neck, chest, and stomach. Your eyes ached to travel down to the V-shape that cut into his hips and the treasure below, but you refused to give him the satisfaction.  Not yet anyway.

You were just about to tell him he could keep the robe on until he was comfortable, but he threw the article of clothing over for you to catch.  “I’m ready as I’ll ever be.”

Half of the people Sasha photographed were too shy to take the robe off right away, and maybe Eddie would have hesitated in other circumstances, but you had a strange feeling he was doing this for you.  If Sasha wasn’t asking him to look at the camera, his eyes were always banking in your direction.  

“I think we should try the handcuffs,” Sasha said to the room, but mostly to you.  

You made your way over to where the props were, knowing that Eddie’s eyes were keeping pace, and playfully dangled the silver cuffs from your thumb and forefinger as you retrurned, wiggling your eyebrows; a gesture he was happy to return. 

“Front or behind?” You asked Sasha.

“Behind for now,” she answered.  “You okay with that Mr. Munson?”

“My god,” he chuckled, putting his hands behind his back for you to have easy access to the tender skin of his wrists.  “Call me anything but Mr. Munson.  Eddie is fine.”

You always tried to keep things very professional, but not only that—you’d been around so many naked bodies, they all started to look the same to you.  This was your job, and mostly it never even occurred to you to see the models in a lustful way..  You never let your eyes hover too long on the private parts of your clients; maybe just a glance and that was it.  But the job of fastening Eddie’s handcuffs had you taking in the firm structure of his ass like it was a visual last meal.  

You stroked your finger a few times in his palm.  “Is that too tight?” 

The combination of your touch and the way you whispered gave him chills in the best way possible and his fingers flexed, as if trying to reach out for you.  “I hope you have a key for these things,” he mumbled.

“I do,” you assured him.  “But I’m about to swallow it.”

“Hey,” he hushed over his shoulder before you could walk away.  “Should my dick be hard for this?”

You wanted to kiss his arm, you wanted to bite it.  Instead, you put your hands together and intertwined your fingers.  “Do you want it to be?”

Eddie lowered his chin, voice barely audible.  “Are you offering to help, sweetheart?

Sasha took a few more photos as he was, standing to the side, eyes flicking to where you stood behind Sasha’s shoulder.  When it was time for you to take the handcuffs off, Eddie stretched his hands, turning to face front. “No chick wants to look at a flaccid dick when they buy magazines like this,” he announced.  “Give me a second to…get ready? If you know what I mean?”

While Sasha and June went out for a smoke break, Eddie put his robe on, and headed for his private dressing room, but he paused in the door and turned to find you. His eyebrows popped up a few times,  motioned with his hand down low for you to follow him in.  You knew  you could lose your job for fornicating with Eddie during a photo shoot, but at that moment, you couldn’t have cared less.

Once you were in, Eddie closed the door and leaned back against it, his robe falling open.  He clutched a fist into the front of your overalls, pulling you closer.  Your fingertips feathered down the ridges of his scars, thumb caressing over his missing nipple, and he jutted his head forward to meet your mouth, but you were too fast, dropping to your knees to taste his cock, taking your job and his request a bit too seriously.  

“Wait,” Eddie sank his hand around your throat, guiding you back up to full height.  “Kiss me first,” he swiped the tip of his tongue across his bottom lip.  “And then you can kill me.”

While the tiny person in charge of your brain ran around inside your skull screaming, your  lips met his, tips of tongues introducing each other first, and then echoed moans, opening wide to take each other deeper.

“I know what will get me hard,” he told you in a breathy rush.  “Take these off,” he motioned to the overalls you were wearing.  “And sit on the counter.”

He walked forward so that you would back up, his hands supporting your waist.

You looked back at the counter top. “But we don’t have much time to—” 

“I don’t need much time,” he said, swatting a stool out of his way so it crashed to the ground.  “I want you in my mouth.”

You shivered and obeyed, unhooking your overalls, letting them fall to the floor.  You were in nothing but a tank top now, ass on the cool edge of the Formica, and he pulled your underwear down your legs, salivating and biting his lip as he did so. 

 “Fuuuuck, you are so wet,” He pushed your knees wider with his strong arms and sank his tongue into your glistening folds, flicking the nub a few times.  “Did you get this wet just for me? Hmmm?”

“Yes Eddie,” you whimpered, bracing yourself on the beige counter next to the vanity, watching him drag his chin all the way up your slit, and then pull and twist his tongue down, darting it into your hole.  His eyes met yours again, his mouth latching onto your sweet spot and sucking there.  You wrapped your legs over his shoulders and sunk your heels into his back.

His fingers dug into the meat at your hips, his mouth diving deeper, sucking in while his tongue flicked. He reached a hand down between his legs and started stroking himself, getting more and more turned at the way you were gasping and twitching.

You grabbed the top of his head.  “Fuckkk Eddie fuck just like that.”

His eyes were closed now while he devoured you, but the look on his face spoke of how seriously he took the task, rolling his tongue and working you in a way that made your eyelids flutter and a choke catch in your throat.

But then there came a knock at the door.  

It was Sasha, and thank god she didn’t try the doorknob because you hadn’t locked it in your frenzy to get on Eddie’s joystick.  . 

“Coming!” You shouted nervously, dropping to your feet, stepping into your underwear and then your overalls.  

Eddie sucked in his bottom lip, licking what was left of you from his mouth.  He caught your elbow as you were fastening the second clip.  “Can we finish this later?”

The way he asked it was almost shy, as if his face hadn’t just been between your thighs.  Meanwhile, your engorged pussy was soaking your underwear, begging to be finished.  You saw that his chin was still wet from your arousal and whisked some of it away with your thumb.

He bent to let his lips graze at your ear as he closed his robe. “I like the way you taste.”

Back out on the floor, you let Sasha know that Eddie was talking your ear off about something, but that he would be out any second.  Sasha and June exchanged a look, mostly in regards to the way the straps of your overalls were all twisted and buttoned wrong, but neither one of them addressed it.

When Eddie came out and took his robe off again, he was hard, rolling his big hand around the head a few more times as he got on the prop bed that was there for the next set.  There was a model named Cindy in lingerie there to be in the shots with him, and you felt a jealousy rise in you that didn’t make any sense.  It rose so hot in your gut while their mouths hovered inches apart, pretending they were about to kiss, that you had to look away.  Every so often, he’d glance over at you while he had his cock in his hand, determined to keep the beast hard, and you wondered if he was thinking about having his tongue inside of you.

Because, you were definitely thinking about it.  You took a little private time around the corner just to touch yourself through your denim, working your fingers at your core, wondering if you should just finish yourself off and be done with it just as Sasha finally called for another smoke break.

You tried not to be too obvious, casually strolling back to Eddie’s dressing room, making sure the model Cindy was comfortable and fetching her the sparkling water she asked for while Love Bites by Judas Priest played on the radio.

Eddie was already in there waiting, yanking you inside by the wrist so he could lock the door, planting hot, hungry kisses down along your neck. 

You dropped your overalls like they were on fire, caressing his hard length in a way that made him moan. “I need you so fucking bad,” you breathed, pulling your tank top up and over your head so that you could be flush with his skin, to feel the ridges of his scars.  “That last set was almost two hours,” you were still talking as he backed you further into the room.  “How is your cock still hard?”

His fingers slipped down through your folds and he hissed at the way you were dripping.  “Just the thought of this, sweetheart.”

There was a floral couch against the wall and when your calves met with it, you plopped down into the cushion and Eddie followed, knees to the wood floor, wrapping his arm around your thighs to take your sweet bud into his mouth again, teasing it with his nose first.

“Fuck fuck Eddie, I’m already so close,” you took a fistful of his beautiful hair, careful not to mess it up too bad and bucked against his mouth.  “You’re so good, I love it when your tongue fucks me.”

Your hole was clenching around nothing, needing more, and that was when two of his fingers slid in, the ones with the chunky metal rings, they stretched you out suddenly, making you curse with pleasure.  Eddie zig-zagged his tongue rapid fire over  your clit, groaning at the way your hole gripped his fingers.  His cock was leaking pre-cum and he thrust his hips into the couch as he felt your walls begin to ripple.

“Fuck Eddie, you’re gonna make me cum…so hard….” the orgasm seemed to snap your body in two, pulsing a waves of pleasure up your spine, making your mouth freeze open on a sharp inhale.  And then you were babbling, “cummincumming so hard, Eddie!”

“Turn over,” he demanded in a deep voice once you were able to catch your breath.  “I need to clean you up.”.

And so you got on your knees facing the wall and held onto the back of the couch, trembling at the way he spread your cheeks and lapped you up all along your drenched slit.

“We’re ready if you are!” Sasha called from out in the studio making you spin around.

“Oh shit,” you breathed, looking down at how swollen and ready his cock was.  “I can’t leave you like this.”

“I can wait, sweetheart,” he mumbled, standing to pull his robe back on and offer you his hand, tossing his hair back over his shoulder.

By the time the photo shoot was over, Eddie would’ve been edging his release for over 4 hours, and he didn’t seem phased at all about it.

It was time for the handcuffs again.  Eddie wanted a cigarette, and Sasha encouraged him to have it in a seat by the window and she’d get a few shots of him there.  He held his wrists close together in front of him while you secured the cool metal, his chocolate orbs fixed on your face.  He liked how your fingers quivered as you cuffed him, and his erection had finally softened enough to not be obnoxious, but it was still making your mouth dry up with desire.

He wanted to light the cigarette himself, so you passed him the lighter.  He spread his legs, hitching one heel up on the leg of the chair, exposing the patch of hair at the base of his cock and around his balls 

“That’s perfect,” Sasha told him, finger tapping on the shutter button, producing a blast of fast clicks..  

You glanced up at the clock, knowing your time with Eddie would be over soon.  Cindy the model could’ve gone home, but she’d decided to stay and wait to watch the rest of Eddie’s shoot, her eyes sparkling with lust.  Maybe she would be the one to get Eddie off and not you.  She was physically more what you assumed his “type” would be since, in your mind, all rock stars were the same.

You didn’t have to wonder for long which woman he’d rather fuck, because he was eyeballing you from across the room as he put his robe on and said a few last words to Sasha.  The dressing room door was hidden around the corner and down the hall, but you decided not to follow him straight in like you had the last two times; your carnal needs were making you sloppy.  This time, you went out into the stairwell to the back entrance and knocked, hoping he would get the hint because it only opened from the inside.  Eddie pushed it open with a hard metal clank, and then your hands were in his hair, and wordlessly the two of you fell into each other.  He was doing the work of unfastening your overalls while you were coherent enough to ask about condoms and he presented a string of them out of the pocket of his robe.

“You came prepared,” you stumbled over your clothes, yanking your shirt off as you went.

“Nah,” Eddie cocked his head.  “I had my gofer bring me these.  The guy is quick.” 

“How do you want me?” You kissed down his chest, flicking his one salty nipple with your tongue, making him groan.

He ripped one of the condoms off the pack and tore it open with his teeth, and then spat the paper edge out.  “I need to be able to see your face,” he crashed his nose against yours diving in for another kiss.

“Sit,” you told him, urging him back into the wooden chair in the corner of the room.  It was right next to a full length mirror so he could watch you fuck him from the side if he wanted to. There were no arms on the chair, and he complied, licking his lips, eager for whatever you had in mind while he rolled the condom on.

You kicked  your leg over him like you were mounting your motorcycle and sat your hungry, soaking hole down on the tip of his cock.  Eddie took hold of your hips and guided you down, releasing one long moan as you went.  You whined, coming down flush with his lap, his cock stretching you out in a way no one ever had before, settling yourself first before you began to move.  You pushed up from the balls of your feet, riding him, and Eddie clamped a hand onto each of your ass cheeks, creating a rhythm, using his strong arms to help lift and lower you.

Your foreheads came together as you moved, hard nipples grazing his chest. You watched him grit his teeth and gasp.  “Damn, you’re so tight.  I’m close, I’m so fucking…close,” he bit out.  

Your clit rubbed against his patch of hair as you worked, and it wasn’t long before you began to hiccup with the contraction of your own release.  Never in your life had you cum this soon and this close together.  “You’re gonna make me cum again, oh my god.”

“Yeah?” He pulled his head back.  “Look at me.”

You met his eyes as you bounced, his hips snapping up to meet you every time you bottomed out.

“Yes,” you said breathlessly, finding the yearning in his stare too much to handle.  “Like, right now, right…fuck, Eddie I’m cumming!” Your head dropped to his shoulder while the tremors rolled through you, walls squeezing his cock, making his toes curl and his hips jerk erratically, the chair legs squeaking from his weight.

He held you flush to him, his release hot and plentiful; so much so, he might’ve worried about the integrity of the condom if he hadn’t been so pussy drunk on the way your hole was still clenching him like a fist.  You locked your chest to his and he caged you with his arms, locking you there.

Your knees threatened to turn to butter and betray you as you dismounted the ride of your life, both of you finding the footing to scramble around and retrieve your clothes. Eddie could stay in the dressing room as long as he wanted, but you? You were only a shell of the employee you normally were that day and you feared that Sasha was probably coming to look for you at that moment, ready to tell you to take a hike.

Eddie pulled his shirt down over his head, adjusting it over his jeans and flipped his hair from out of the collar. You snapped the first buckle on your overalls and gave him a tilt of your head. “Hey stranger, I almost didn’t recognize you with clothes on,” and then you fixed yourself in the mirror quickly before planting one more kiss on him on your way to bolt for the door.

“Hey, wait,” he called out, making you turn around. “Is that it? This is goodbye?”

Eddie Munson was a beautiful rockstar. Eddie Munson was in music videos on MTV. Eddie Munson could have any woman he wanted in the world, single or taken, and so no---you hadn’t expected more to come from this. You thought maybe he had a new fuck for every day of the week and you just happened to fall into his lap at the right time when he was bored and had some time to kill.

“Did you need anything else?” You asked it in your professional assistant voice, your work voice, and put your hands in your pockets to patiently wait.

He sat down on the couch to put his Converse on, absorbed in his task as he spoke to you. “My hotel is just up the street. Are you busy tonight? We could have dinner. Anything you want, my guys will get it for us.”

“I’m busy tonight,” you lied.

“What about tomorrow?” He pushed, tying the next shoe. “I wanna hear more about this small town you grew up in. I’ve really been missing home lately.”

You softened. “I refuse to believe you are anything but a spoiled city boy.”

He stood to his full height, stretching his chest, and hooked his thumbs into his belt loops, giving you a shrug and a familiar smirk. “Just think about all the ways I could prove you wrong if you came to hang out with me tonight. I might even surprise you.”

You got all awkward for a bit, fighting with yourself over why you weren’t on your knees begging for this man. Regardless of your silence, he found an old receipt for a tin of mini mart pretzels in his pocket and wrote his room number and hotel on it.

Passing it to you pinched between his two fingers, he added without meeting your gaze, “I’d really like to see you again.”

But then Sasha was calling for you, needing help with equipment, and you were scurrying out of the room with your heart in your throat.

You paused with your hand on the doorknob. “Crab Rangoon?”

Eddie scoffed. “What did you call me?” He was jutting his arms up into the sleeves of his leather jacket when you favored him a glance over you shoulder.

You swiveled to face him and made a circular gesture with your hand as if the implication was universally understood. “If there happens to be some crab Rangoon at your hotel tonight, I will stop by.”

Eddie’s face was blank, totally unreadable for a few seconds, and then a smile teased at the corners of his mouth, crept across his face, and jumped to his eyes. He gave a nod, “crab Rangoon it is then.”

---------

[goodgirlofglory]

Hiya doll! 👋 Finals month is still in motion, so I’ve been pretty quiet on the asks. But today I was feeling some sort of way, and I wanted to know if you’re open to this request.

“Bucky with a reader who is insecure about her body”

Basically, I see a lot of representation for plus size girlies on tumblr ( and this is no hate to anyone) but I wish there was also more representation for midsize girlies. Also for girls who are on the taller side, I’m talking 5”7 and up. I’m 5”7 myself, and wearing any shoe that gives me extra inches makes me feel like I tower over my friends or others.

Another thing is, if you do write for this ask, I was thinking that even though reader does have a low self-esteem, she puts on a front and seems like she has a majorrrrrr ego or god complex. So maybe, Bucky see through that, gets her down from there, and fucks her in front of a mirror 🫣🥵

And I oop-

Anyways, regardless to everything, have a fantastic day/night and rest of your week! I appreciate you 💜💜💜

Bestie!!!!🦋

I hope your finals went well!🫶🫶🫶

I am soooo sorry this took so long! It needed to sit with me for a while before I felt I could do it justice, and then life happened in the meantime ya'know.

Anyways I so dearly hope you like this🙏🙏 I resonated a lot with your prompt as a midsize girlie myself and channeled some of my own experience into it (though I have sadly never been fucked in front of a mirror by Bucky Barnes)💖

Anyway, hope you're having a good day or night wherever you are, you are a true gem 🫶✨️🫶✨️🫶

(Also can’t wait to hear what you think of this so lmk😘)

Just perfect / One-shot

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x secretlyinsecure!taller!midsize!reader

Word count: 7,8k

Warnings: explicit sexual content, explicit language, SMUT, bathroom sex, fucking in front of a mirror, dom!Bucky, unprotected p in v (be safe my sweet darlings), a split second of oral (f receiving), reader is insecure and has some harmful thoughts about her own body.

Summary: A rather dreadful Christmas party at S.H.I.E.L.D takes a turn for the better (and frankly therapeutical) when Bucky Barnes shows you that your self-deprecating thoughts about your body might not be as objective as you thought.

“Mid,” you muttered to yourself as you looked over your outfit one more time in the mirror, fighting down the nagging notion of not feeling entirely satisfied with the reflection. The little, black dress fit you perfectly, hugging your upper body like a second skin before flaring out in the shimmering, silk fabric of the skirt that reached just below your knees. Appropriate for a work party, while the hidden slit in the side of the skirt was just a little something extra cheeky for those who’d pay attention. You doubted anyone would. It fit your persona as a ruthless man repeller perfectly too. No flashy colors, no risque shapes, no cutouts and not too short. No fun either, but that wasn’t important here. The cleavage even appeared modest with the average size of your breasts. 

“Fucking mandatory Christmas party,” you muttered as you grabbed your bag and left your apartment to head to the Avengers compound for the second time that day. How is it even allowed to make an after hours social event mandatory, you wondered angrily as you got in the waiting cab. You kept adjusting your dress as the city slowly flashed by outside the cab window, second guessing everything about your outfit from the dress to the shoes to the bag to the red lipstick you’d dared yourself to put on, afraid it was too much and too basic at the same time. 

You knew it was ridiculous to feel so self conscious about yourself and your body. For all intents and purposes, you were perfectly and quite uninterestingly average, neither plus size nor skinny. You knew your plus size girlies had a way harder time being judged and disrespected for their size, and you didn’t want to be too skinny either, like malnourished. You were perfectly midsize, eating healthy and exercising for your body's sake, eating chocolate and pasta and drinking beer for your mental health’s sake. You were perfectly. average. midsize.

It was just that, the lack of appreciation and attention over the years has slowly chipped away at your confidence, and then your self-image, and then your self-esteem, to a point that it was difficult to even rouse any positive thoughts about yourself that didn’t feel half-hearted or mandatory for the girlboss-affirmation of the day. 

The one thing you had going for you, the one thing you felt unequivocally confident about, was your job. Working as one of the high level secretaries for Fury himself, you actually had quite the high seat in the house, with clearance, authority and trust from the big man on top himself. It also meant saying no to quite a lot of things and people on a daily basis, to stop people from charging into the director's office in anger, to be authoritative enough to make people listen and actually do whatever orders you delivered on the director’s behalf (and your own sometimes). The job, which you loved and had worked hard to get, was just a tad challenging to splice with a lack of self-image.

So you’ve built a ruthless, badass, girlboss, gatekeep, gaslight persona for yourself, known for being resistant to all flattery, all bribes, all flirting and all begging. Nothing got past you and everyone seemed just a little afraid of you. It was true, you’d garnered the nickname “the other she-hulk” among your peers. And though you embodied this persona like the most natural thing in the world, it was also a front really, for your honest to God lack of confidence in your everything average.

Oh yeah, except for your height, you realized as you got out of the cab at your destination and was hailed over by the other female colleagues in your department waiting outside the compound - the shoes you wore turned out to give you several inches of height on the other girls, even as they also wore stiletto-like heels. In the height department, you were just above average, which did not make you feel any better necessarily. 

Fuck. You looked like their fucking body guard, looming behind them like a giraffe as you made your way inside, them smiling and laughing, you affecting your haughty mask, the one that protected you the best when you were feeling a bit off-kilter. Better to deem everyone here below your interest before they even had a chance to assess you, right?  

The party was nice. They’d somehow managed to make the compound not feel like a concrete bunker, decorating almost every surface with some fabric or other, flashy reds and silvers and greens and blues, giant trees everywhere overloaded with decorations. Maximalism galore.

“It looks like Santa exploded in here,” you joked to your colleagues, receiving a bout of wild laughter in return. It hadn’t really been that funny, but hey, maybe you could be known as the “other deadpool” in the future if you worked hard enough on your comedy. 

As usual, the lovelier girls of your department got swarmed pretty quickly by guys. Recruits, officers, cadets, other secretaries - they all flocked to your group. You didn’t blame them, your colleagues were beautiful, witty, smiling brightly and exuding a sort of light that could only be rivaled by the sun. They were nice to everyone too, unlike you. 

You stayed and chatted for a bit. No one commented on your dress and certainly not the split at the side, and you tried not to let that get to you. This was a work event, after all, it would be inappropriate if they did come on to you or something. Your self-esteem whimpered quietly even so. 

It didn’t take long for the rest to get tipsy, and someone started blasting music somewhere, effectively switching from corporate mingling-mode to drunken tomfoolery-mode. You easily resisted getting dragged to the dancefloor, effecting a disinterested, above-it-all mask as your work friends pouted and dragged your arm in a petulant, though surprisingly endearing way. 

“I’m not debasing myself tonight, thank you very much,” you said, knowing it was harsh but only gaining a playfully scolding look before the whole gang bounced off to dance without you. 

You made your way over to the bar instead. A half-hour or so more and then you could safely leave without breaking any social codes, you thought with relief as you ordered another glass of champagne. 

Turning from the bar, glass in hand, you suddenly bumped into someone, champagne sloshing around the rim, a few drops spilling over your hand. 

“Hey, watch where-” you started, words dying in your mouth as you looked up…and up a broad chest, a thick neck and then came face to face with Bucky Barnes aka the Winter Soldier himself. 

B-big, your brain supplemented eloquently as you stopped speaking all together. 

How was he so tall? Okay, so you knew he was tall, you’d encountered him regularly over the years and had always felt dwarfed by the tree-trunk size of the man, but you were in four inch heels, god damnit, and you still had to crane your neck to look into his eyes. They glinted as he looked down on you, and for a moment you forgot who you were supposed to be and nearly shrank in on yourself, feeling uncharacteristically small. 

“Sorry,” he simply said, giving you a once-over so quick you weren’t sure it’d happened at all, and then he leaned around you to grab a few napkins from the bar. He made quick work of taking the glass from your hand and wiping the stray drops of champagne from it, set it on the bar and then gently took your hand in his and wiped it as well. 

You could only stare in astonishment at the size of his hands, rough and calloused, but with neatly trimmed nails, engulfing yours and being so exquisitely gentle. He put the glass back in your hand and looked down at you with a pleased smile. 

You quickly amassed your indifferent mask, raising a haughty eyebrow at him, and stepped aside so he could order whatever he wanted. He’d at least apologized and cleaned up the mess he (and you together, admittedly) had caused. You supposed it was the best outcome, both for your pride and confidence. You didn’t step far from the bar, sure you would be back soon enough for another glass, and looked out on the burgeoning dance floor in front of you. 

“Why don’t you join?” a deep voice asked from the side. 

Looking over, Bucky had come up to stand at your side, looking out over the crowd as well, whiskey glass in hand. His strong profile was illuminated by the flashing lights of the dance floor, reflected in those baby blue eyes, and his hair was tucked back into a bun at the back of his head. His suit must have been tailored by sorcery or something, because it hugged him in all the right places, press neat and crisp, making him look both perfectly put together and indecently so.   

Okay, so maybe you had a little something of a crush on the guy. He was fine as hell, and always put this old school New York charm on you whenever you met. He was the only one who still tried to charm and flirt with you whenever he came to Fury’s office, and though you put on your unimpressed and uninterested mask, thoroughly shutting him down each time, you secretly appreciated those moments more than you would ever admit out loud. It felt nice that he at least treated you the same as all the other secretaries - he was the only one who still did. 

You raised your eyebrow, securing a bored look even as you wanted to ask with you?

“Not exactly my crowd,” you said instead, taking a swig at your drink. 

“No? Didn’t think you cared about things like that,” he said, smoothly challenging you. 

“Not exactly my music, then,” you said. Arrogance and low energy usually got people to leave you alone when you felt fragile. You turned to give him a fake, sarcastically apologetic smile. 

“Ah, I see. Too bad, would’ve loved to see how wide that split goes while you twirl,” he said, leaning closer to you, and in your shock the mask you’d held on so tight cracked, and you whipped to look at him. He’d noticed it?

You saw the pleased victory shining in his eyes. Cheeky bastard was trying to break you, trying to make you drop the haughty exterior, like he knew you were only putting up a front. And you’d let your mask slip and showed him he was right. And like you suspected he knew, it was the exact sort of thing you deeply, secretly craved someone to do. 

But it wouldn’t be that easy. Bucky could just be fucking with you, or making easy conversation. But he’d noticed the split in your dress, so he must’ve been looking, right? Just a little harder than everybody else. Still, it was out of the question to just drop every defense and wall you had now, in this room, just because of one comment from him. You quickly affected an unimpressed, almost fatigued mask, raising your glass to your lips. 

“Too bad, Barnes, I’ve already had my high school prom,” you said, delivering the line with just the perfect amount of arrogance and judgment. 

You felt his eyes lingering on your face for long moments as you stared into the crowd, refusing to meet his eyes and potentially let more slip. This shit was exhausting enough when people didn’t clock on to your farce. Still, a small part of you didn’t want him to stop looking, to stop showering you in this undivided attention that sizzled like carbonic bubbles on your skin. 

You immediately shut down your disappointment when he left without another word, telling yourself to be proud you didn’t beg or flirt or plead for his attention like everyone else did. You didn’t need anyone but yourself, you needed to remember that. 

The music shifted from some mainstream pop song to some very old jazz, and the sudden shift only had a second to register before Bucky appeared as from thin air, took your glass from you, downed the rest of your drink in one gulp (eyes shining with mischief as you gawked a little at him), ditched the glass on the nearby table and then promptly took you by the hands and hauled you out on the dance floor. 

“W-wait, I -” your words cut off to a little squeal as the soldier wrapped a strong arm around your waist and twirled you so your feet lifted off the ground, the skirt of your dress flying out. Your arms clung around his neck and shoulders as the world spun in a flurry of bright, flickering lights, and your feet didn’t touch the ground for ten solid seconds as Bucky turned and turned. 

When he eventually put you down, his arms didn’t let up much, keeping you firmly tucked to the hard planes of his stomach and chest with a hand that went around your back and held your waist on the other side. 

You schooled your expression down even as nerves and excitement and a fair share of actual, fucking excitement filled you from the unexpected dancing. You actually did like to dance a lot. You looked up and found Bucky’s eyes on your face, glimmering in the bright lights as he easily led you in some old timey couple’s dance that he apparently knew perfectly.

“This music more to your liking?” he asked, challenging and genuine at the same time, and you couldn’t for the life of you understand his angle. Why was he doing this? 

You knew people were watching, even as the dance floor was still full of other dancers making due with their modern dance moves to the old music. And though you did feel kinda nervous being so exposed, you couldn’t very well cut off this dance and leave - that would only make you look even more insecure than you felt.

So you soldiered through, putting on a mildly entertained, smug look and looking Bucky in the eyes. 

“It’s certainly something else,” you said, and watched as his eyes flared over with a sort of playful frustration, shaking his head a little at you, but smiling despite himself. 

“Drop the act, sweetheart,” he said then, low enough for no one else to hear, but it still made you bristle. 

“What act?” you said, making it sound nonchalant and innocent at the same time. “Just because you remember one dance from 70 years ago, I’m supposed to swoon?” you challenged, knowing the words were harsh but goddamnit, he was getting too close. 

A groan escaped him then, one you felt more than heard from the way your bodies were pressed together, and you flushed, not expecting that kind of response. 

He leaned down and murmured in your ear.

“I like it when you’re mean, but I’d like it more if you were honest,” he said, and your breath caught, the physical sensation of his hot breath on your ear distracting you to the point of stumbling a bit on your heels. His arm around your waist didn’t let you so much as twist an ankle, which made you feel even more heated. 

Before you could come up with a retort, Bucky flung you out in a twirl, making your skirt fly around you. He led you perfectly even as he almost threw you around like a ragdoll, and you had to admit you were amazed by how graceful you were even as every move and twist were orchestrated and led by Bucky. The crowd disappeared as you moved to the music, coming back to Bucky, being swung out again, your back to his front at one point, his breath hot on your neck, swinging out again and stepping past each other in swoops only connected by your hand in his. 

You met his eyes and saw the flash over with an intensity that made your skin prickle, with a hunger you could scarcely believe was meant for you, eyes raking over your body, lingering on the leg peaking out through the split in your skirt, your chest heaving in the low cut neckline of your dress, your face flushed and no doubt looking as amazed as you felt on the inside. 

The dance ended in a perfectly timed dip, Bucky holding you down and cradling your neck and the small of your back in capable arms, face so close you could feel his breath fan across your face, smelling of whiskey and spearmint. 

You smiled, couldn’t help it, you hadn’t had this much fun at a work event in years. Bucky’s eyes flitted about your face as he echoed your smile with a brilliant flash of teeth himself. Your heart thudded in your chest, and your eyes flicked down to his lips, those luscious, plump lips and oh holy fuck did you want to kiss him at that moment. A desperation you couldn’t quell seized you by your fucking guts and you positively throbbed. Your smile faltered, and you saw his fall too. Daring to look up into his eyes, you saw the same hunger reflected there, nearly engulfing you in its heat. 

Then the crowd returned, cheering, the music went back to some pop song from last year and reality dumped back in on your head so fast you almost made the mistake of scrambling out of Bucky’s hold. 

No, no, no, way too exposed, this was not how you planned this night…

You were actually proud of the way you managed to slowly extract yourself from Bucky’s arms, give a slow, bored “thank you,” and then calmly leave the room all together to escape to the ladies room. 

You had to admit, they hadn’t neglected the bathrooms in the compound, you thought as you occupied the space alone. They were kinda nice, big and spacious, marble and polished steel making the space comfortable and with an air of luxury compared to the practical, brutalist vibe of the rest of the building. 

You touched up on your lipstick, hands shaking a little from the excursion of the dancing. Okay, you needed to leave, you thought to yourself as you felt your skin still sizzling faintly wherever Bucky’s hands had touched you. Your nerves seemed newly awakened as if from a deep slumber, and it would not do to develop an even deeper crush on him. 

As if summoned, the door to the bathroom opened and Bucky stepped through, eyes finding yours in the mirror immediately. 

“I think you’re supposed to be in the next room over Barnes,” you drawled even as your heart picked up speed. 

He didn’t answer as he slowly crossed the room. 

You couldn’t help shifting in your skin as your body thrummed with an exhausting amount of nervous excitement. His gaze was level,possessing your attention like an iron grip. It was like he saw right through every mask and facade you tried to put on, right in to the very center, the very truth inside you. It lulled you and provoked you at the same time. 

“You’re in the wrong restroom, Barnes,” you said, even harsher, when he was about halfway across to you. He still didn’t answer. 

You spun to face him, anger welling higher. Who did he think he was, coming in here and stripping away the only scraps of protection you had, looking at you like he could read the thoughts as they appeared in your mind?

“I’m exactly where I need to be,” he answered as you glared at him, coming to stop directly in front of you, only inches between you, and the air there sparked with energy you just couldn’t deny you were affected by. 

You scoffed, fighting against the crumbling of your exterior. Fuck, fuck, fuck, you wanted him. Couldn’t deny it, couldn’t help yourself as your muscles ached to reach for him, to press yourself against him and let him wrap his strong, safe arms around you again. To tuck yourself away into him and shut your mind off and just feel taken care of - in any way - by someone other than yourself.

A desperate thought occurred to you; maybe you could do this without losing face. If you went on the offensive, you could still hold control over the situation while still letting whatever was sizzling between you and Bucky explode, you thought a bit desperately as you held his stare, his eyes darkening as the seconds ticked by. Maybe you didn’t have to bare your soul for him in order to get a taste of what you wanted. You could just make it out to be a hookup at a party, something carnal but detached. Give your body to him while still guarding your mind and soul. 

Not giving yourself a moment more to stall, you surged forward, grabbed his neck and kissed him. He wasn’t as surprised as you’d liked by your sudden call to action. In fact, he seemed to come unleashed the moment your lips met his, a grunt sounding in his throat as he instantly wrapped one arm around your waist, his other going into your hair to keep your head firmly put where he wanted it. 

Yes

The kiss was filthy, hot breaths and open mouths and tongue on tongue almost immediately, like a dam of pent up lust had just erupted at that first touch for the both of you. He pushed you back so the marble counter dug into your ass, and plastered himself against you, groaning as your hands moved to map out his back. 

You fumbled to reach for the lapels on his jacket and he let up his hold just long enough for you to wrench his suit jacket off him before both pair of hands went on frantically groping and gripping and touching, and you couldn’t seem to draw breath into your aching lungs for all the burning desire that flooded your body. 

Bucky broke out of your heady kiss, gasping as he leaned his forehead to yours, hands gripping your hip and the back of your neck so tight it almost pinched you, and you relished the feeling. 

“Fuck,” he groaned between pants, and you liked the sound of that very much. 

You gave him a sultry and cocky “mhm” as you kissed him again, nipping at his bottom lip. When you opened your eyes again, he was still looking at you, his stare so fucking intense. 

“You’re beautiful,” he said, and that…was stepping into a territory you were not too keen on. You couldn’t have sentimentality at that moment. You couldn’t control your tiny wince either, trying to move on with another kiss, your hands dragging down the hard planes of his chest to entice him to move along. 

Bucky didn’t grant you that mercy. He apparently saw your wince as well as he saw the split in your skirt, and scrutinized you with a piercing stare as he reiterated between kisses. 

“So gorgeous,” he murmured and you tried your damndest to ignore it, kissing him more intently, hands moving a bit desperately to his belt, but an uncomfortable laughter escaped you either way. 

Bucky stopped your hands, grabbing them and putting them on the counter at your side before cradling your face firmly in his hands. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck, what is he doing, you lamented as you looked everywhere but his eyes. 

“I mean it, you’re a gorgeous woman,” he said and you whined softly, not at all capable of hearing that. Whether out of a misguided sense of pity or because he wanted to get in your panties, you didn’t want him to tell you that shit just to placate you. You were already dying to get fucked, false flattery was of no need. You were practically soaking your panties already just from his kisses and his hands, one warm and one slightly colder, moving over your body like he couldn’t get to all of it quick enough.

“You don’t have to-” you started exasperated, squirming to get away from the intimacy of his proximity, the way he looked at you and the way he was cradling your face. 

“You see, this is what I mean. I think you’re hiding, doll. You don’t realise how fucking amazing you are, and you hide it behind a bitchy face and even bitchier words,” he said.

Words failed you then. The fucking audacity of this man to call you out like that. You were not prepared to be laid out like that, and you didn’t know whether to fight back with teeth and claws or to flee in your humiliation. 

Bucky must have seen your warring thoughts on your face, the simmering rage at being cornered and confronted like this, like an animal frantic with self preservation. 

“You don’t believe me?” he asked, and you could see a fierce competitive glint light on fire in his eyes, pouncing on the challenge.

In a flash, he’d turned you around and you met your own expression in the mirror above the sink. Bucky stepped flush against you again, and nestled the hard bulge in his pants right against your ass. You squirmed and whined a little. You wanted that inside you already. But Bucky held you tightly pinned between himself and the counter, his metal hand coming around to splay on your stomach, shining metal against the black silk fabric, effectively giving you no room to move. His hand was so huge, it covered nearly the whole area between your belly button and the underside of your heaving breasts. He propped his chin on your shoulder and captured your eyes through the reflection in the mirror. 

“You’re exquisite, doll” he whispered, his other hand landing lightly on your waist. This time you saw your own wince of disbelief in the mirror, instantly embarrassed at how revealing you were. Heat bloomed on your cheeks, both from his words and the way his eyes were just eating your body up in the mirror. 

“I’m nothing special,” you heard yourself murmur. 

“Oh, on the contrary, doll, you’re as rare as they come,” Bucky said, flesh hand moving to grab your hips appreciatively. “Swinging these hips all around the compound, your walk so sweet compared to that barking mouth you’ve got on ya,” he said, drawled a bit, his Brooklyn accent coming forth, kneading your hips and pulling you back to grind your ass on his hard bulge. 

Your breath hitched on a gasp, and your heart fluttered in your chest. He’d been watching the way you walked? And he liked it?

His hands came up to cup one of your heaving breasts. 

“Such elegant lines, perfect, round tits,” he murmured into the skin below your ears, and you trembled in his arms as his fingers teased a nipple through the thin fabric of your dress. 

“A neck that’s just begging to be sucked on and marked,” he continued before his lips sealed itself to that sensitive spot right below the hinge of your jaw and you gasped raggedly as sparks flew through your body. 

You were positively high on the novelty of his praise, but you just couldn’t quite believe it. 

“I’ve…a-always just thought I was so average,” you admitted, voice timid, nothing short of a whisper, and you berated yourself for revealing your insecurity so openly, even as Bucky’s lips let go of your skin and he nuzzled the hair behind your ear. 

“God, no,” he sighed, hand coming down to your hip again, guiding you to grind back on his bulge again, and fuck, he was hard, “I don’t get how you could even think that,” he said, and the genuine astonishment in his voice had to be real, or else he was a brilliant fucking actor. 

Your hips had started moving on their own now, steadily grinding between his metal hand on your stomach and the hard cock at your ass, sizzling sparks of heat traveling your body from the friction. You could feel Bucky nodding into the crook of your neck, encouraging and praising at the same time. 

“But I’m…kinda tall…surely y-you’d want someone shorter, m-more petite?” you heard yourself whisper, and you just had to ask him right out, to give voice to those incessant, nagging insecurities. 

He actually laughed then, a breathy chuckle against the exposed skin of your shoulder. 

“Are you kidding? You nearly gave me a heart attack in these heels tonight, baby,” he said easily, calm and honest and straightforward and it was like he wasn't even trying to convince you of anything, he was just speaking honestly. “And when you danced with me? How sexy and smooth and fucking alive you were as you let me spin you? Couldn’t take my fucking eyes of you, fuck, I haven’t been this hard in ages. Plus, you’re just perfect for me to fuck like this. Can’t you feel how perfectly your ass fits against my cock when you grind like that, huh? Can’t have that with a shorter girl, you were made for me, darling,” he said, breath growing puffy and you were almost shaking, both from his words and the blazing fucking heat they stoked.

A needy, whimpering sort of whine escaped you at that. It was perfect, your height to his. Perfect for you to nudge your ass against his pelvis and feel his hot lips and a sliver of tongue on the heated skin of your neck at the same time. 

“Do you believe me, now, sweetheart? Or do you need me to fuck it into you?” he asked then, a teasing lilt to his voice even as it dropped a fucking octave, rumbling over you skin, making you ache. 

You turned your head to graze your lips against his, recognising when he was posing a challenge by now, when his competitive side came out to play. You waited just a few seconds, letting your mingling, ragged breaths fill the silence, before answering, looking him straight in his eyes.

“I don’t believe you,” you whispered against his mouth. 

His reaction was almost instant. His metal hand came up to cradle your throat, pinning you close to him as his flesh hand had the skirt of your dress bunched up around your hips in a split second. His hand was between your legs in the next second, brazen and possessive and you fucking loved it, knees nearly buckling in your stilettos as his warm flesh palm cupped you there. A filthy groan sounded in your ear. 

“Fucking perfect pussy already soaked for me, huh?” he downright growled, fingers moving up and down your clothed slit, feeling just how wet you were through the flimsy fabric of your lace panties. “This pussy aching, huh? Hasn’t been fucked right in ages, I reckon? Some bastard left you feeling like less than just perfect?” he babbled as he began rubbing tight circles on your clit, making you keen at both his words and ministrations, mind floating up to the fucking skies on a cloud of endorphins and arousal. “You give me their names, honey, and I’ll make sure they never bother you again,” he said, dark intentions in an even darker, gruffer voice and you couldn’t stand still for the way you needed him. 

“Fuuuck, please, Bucky,” you whined, grinding your pussy down on his hand, soaking his fingers. 

“That’s right, baby, you take what you deserve, you take what this perfect body deserves,” he encouraged. 

“I need…I need,” you breathed, eyes closing as you rode the sensation of being touched like this, so expertly, too much one second and not enough the next. 

“What do you need, baby? Tell me,” he groaned into the skin of your neck. 

“I need…your…please, your cock,” you whimpered. 

His hands pulled back and gave your pussy a playful little slap, making you jolt and yelp in his arms, and the slight sting felt so fucking good. 

“That’s right,” he said, giving you a few precious seconds to collect your frayed, jumbled, melting mind as he frantically undid his belt and fly, pulling his cock out and pulling your soiled panties to the side to notch his cock at your weeping hole. 

He didn’t give you anymore time to beg before he pushed his hips forward and you both gasped raggedly as his cock slid in, perfectly to the hilt, your pussy sucking him in like it had a mind of its own. His whole frame, massive and rugged as it was, shuddered as he stood there with his cock buried inside you, and you opened your eyes to watch in astonished fascination through the reflection in the mirror as he took a moment to get a hold of himself. One hand flexed its grip around your throat, the other on your hip, grip so tight and you hoped it would leave bruises. 

He didn’t wait long until he started thrusting, pulling out almost completely before thrusting in again, forgoing any buildup and going straight to the main fucking course and you were so ridiculously relieved he wasn’t teasing you anymore. 

His hands let go of you and you fell forward, draping yourself over the counter so you could just feel the way his cock, thick and ridged and so fucking hard, dragged against your walls, yielding nothing as he speared you. 

“Need to see you,” Bucky breathed between pants as he kept fucking you. 

You felt the bodice of your dress loosen and realized he had undone the zipper at the back of your dress, peeling it off your arms and then hauling you the meat of your shoulder to straighten against him again, completely naked from the waist up. 

His hands were on your exposed skin immediately, mapping out your ribcage, squeezing the pouch beneath your belly button and coming up to knead your breasts, pulling on your nipples. He was like a man starved, all the while his cock was steadily pumping into you, pushing you higher and higher, the sounds from where you were joined filtering in through your haze of lust and pleasure like a sinful symphony. 

You opened your eyes to find his in your reflection, pools of incendiary desire following every minute twitch of your face. Your eyes flicked over your own face and saw the crimson flush, the sweat on your brow, hair ruffled, the scrunched up expression and heavy-lidded, drugged eyes. You looked a downright, embarrassing mess, your deepest pleasure so plainly written on your face, exposing you to the point of pain and you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to lean back to hide in the crook of his neck. 

Bucky did not let you. 

“Oh no, no, no, don’t hide from me now, sugar,” he said, one hand coming up to pull your face forward, “look at me,” he ordered and you opened your eyes to his again. 

“See how exquisite you are?” he asked, hips slapping against your ass. “See how beautiful you look, taking my cock?” he asked, watching you watch him in the mirror. “Look at yourself,” he ordered, and you whimpered as you met your own gaze in the mirror again. 

There was an almost lascivious tilt to his voice as he kissed your neck sloppily and murmured. 

“Tell her she looks beautiful,” he said. 

You thrashed as much as you could in your pinned position, the counter digging into your hips, high heeled shoes barely touching the floor. 

“Bucky,” you whined petulantly. There was no way. 

“Say it, darling,” he warned before his hips slowed down to an almost complete stop, and that only made you thrash harder. “Oh, you want to come baby? Then look at yourself in the mirror and say ‘I’m beautiful,” he said, and you gawked at him in disbelief, humiliation and mortification burning hot on your cheeks. 

The hand not holding your face towards the mirror kept exploring your flesh as he waited, pinching and grabbing everywhere like he just couldn’t stop. You looked at yourself in the mirror, took in the simmering fire in your eyes, your lips with its bright red lipstick smeared all over. 

“Come on, darling, don’t you want to come? Won’t you let me make you come?” Bucky asked, spreading kisses down your neck as his eyes burned into your face through the mirror. 

You fought it for as long as you could, didn’t want to play these games, didn’t want to see your own vulnerability on your face as you said something you should believe but didn’t quite. 

Bucky grinded his hips all the way inside you and then stilled completely and your need won. 

“I’m beautiful,” you whispered, breath hitching as you saw the disbelief, the resistance in your own eyes, hating yourself both for saying it and not believing it. 

Bucky groaned in a resolutely pleased manner and started moving his hips again, languidly stroking in and out of your sopping cunt. 

“Again,” came his growled order from behind. 

Your resilience was weaker this time, with the tip of his cock reaching so deep, adding rhythmic pressure to that elusive spot in the deepest nook of your body that had your knees going wobbly. 

“I’m beautiful,” you said again, this time giving a low, timid voice to the words. 

Bucky groaned behind you, hands gripping you tighter as his hips picked up speed. 

“That’s right. Say ‘I’m gorgeous’.”

“I-I’m gorgeous.”

“Say ‘I deserve this’”

“I d-d - oh fuck - I deserve this - ah -”

“Say ‘I’m making Bucky Barnes crazy on a daily basis and I don’t even care enough to acknowledge it,” Bucky husked behind you. 

That made you actually giggle, though it came out more like a stuttering whine.

“I-I didn’t know,” you moaned, breaking your own eye contact in the mirror to look at his face. You honestly didn’t. Sure, you’d established a playful banter over the years, frequently sparking conversation whenever he was at your desk for something concerning Fury or you met in the halls or right after department meetings. But you’d honestly never considered you, just being you, could be driving a man like him crazy. 

Eyes dark as the ocean burned into yours from where his face was propped on your shoulder, mouth nibbling on the side of your neck and your earlobe as his hips kept up a punishing pace. It was becoming hard to string together coherent thoughts, your mind going hazy from the steady punch of his cock. 

He smiled against your skin, nipping it so hard you squealed a little, head swimming from the mix of pain and pleasure. 

“You’re killing me here, doll,” Bucky murmured playfully against your skin, hands moving again, skimming over your skin and kneading your flesh in such an appreciative way it had you blushing, even as you were steadily pounded by his cock, halfnaked in the bathroom at your workplace during a fucking Christmas party. 

It was all a haze, the way you were hurtling towards the precipice of your orgasm, his cock in your pussy, his hot breath on your neck, his hands roaming your body like a starved beast. The smell of his rich, musky cedar cologne and the hint of fresh, male sweat. And his eyes, devouring everything his hands didn’t touch. 

“I-I’m gonna…fuck, Bucky -” you stammered. You were so close. 

“I got you,” Bucky answered breathlessly, his flesh hand moving down between your legs to stroke your clit in fast, tight circles. 

You keened, vision blurring as your muscles seized, teetering on the edge. You faintly registered your own expression in the mirror in front of you, mouth falling open, eyebrows scrunching and a crimson flush high on your cheeks. 

You heard Bucky groaning behind you and trembled at the sound. 

“Fuck, there you go, baby, fuck you’re squeezing me so fucking - tight, god damn -”

And then Bucky was wrenching your face to the side and kissing you. And maybe it was the way his hips stuttered as you moaned into his mouth, or maybe it was the possessiveness with which he pushed his tongue into yours. Maybe it was the way his metal hand gripped you tighter as you started shaking, or maybe it was the sheer desperation in his kiss as he herded you over the edge that truly made you feel beautiful in that moment. Beautiful and blissed out as you spasmed on his cock, hearing his choked grunt as you pulled his orgasm right out of him.

You felt him throb in turn with you, his cum pooling hot deep inside you, the both of you nearly falling off your damn feet as you came together, the kiss disintegrating to a mere sloppy tangle of breaths and tongues.  

As you slowly came down from your high, your mind started whirring. Halfway preparing for Bucky to pull out and leave swiftly. To maybe give you a perfunctory kiss on the cheek, to push the skirt of your dress down over your ass and then make his exit from this very public bathroom. It wasn’t that you thought Bucky was some kind of sleaze, but it would be okay if he left it at that. You were a big girl, you knew people got carried away during a rowdy fuck, and if he left it at this, you would be fine. You told yourself as much, at least…

But Bucky didn’t leave. He didn’t pull out right away, either. Once you could both catch your breath, he reiterated his kiss, slow and thorough and breathtaking all anew. His metal hand firmly secured your face to meet his and his flesh hand gave your clit a few more gentle swirls, and you could feel his smile, fascinated and playful against your mouth as you jolted at the sensation. Whimpering a little at the overstimulation but keeping yourself completely still for it anyway, you were astonished by how sensitive you were and how fucking good it felt to have Bucky teasingly play with you as you basked in the afterglow. 

You squeezed around his cock still lodged inside you, and he gave a little grunt in response. 

“Careful, sugar, or I might get hard again,” he murmured against our lips, rolling his hips gently into your ass. 

“Is…is that supposed to deter me?” you asked, your snarky tone just a little undermined by the way you gasped. 

He groaned at that, low and pleased. 

“I suppose it should…at least until I can get you out of this fucking bathroom and into a bed,” he murmured, and a surge of adrenaline went through you. He wanted to do this again?

A small thought in the back of your mind wondered how it was possible that no one had come in and interrupted you by now, but it was quickly pushed away as Bucky gently pulled himself out of you. You tried to conceal the shiver of arousal that went through you as you felt his cum leak out of you and down the inside of your thighs. 

“Stay like that,” he whispered, removing himself and the fucking furnace of warmth that had been plastered to your back. The cold air hitting your back made you realize just how naked and exposed you were, your dress a scrunched up tangle low on your waist. 

You didn’t have time to become self-conscious though, before Bucky was back, kneeling behind you. Peaking over your shoulder, you were just in time to see him wipe a damp hand towel up your thigh and gently across the puffy, sensitive mess between your legs. You flushed for an entirely new reason now. It was just so…intimate, and sweet and generous and you struggled to handle the care and tenderness with which Bucky thoroughly cleaned both his mess and yours. 

You watched him quietly as he cleaned you up, and then as he seemingly couldn’t help himself from bending forward and kissing your pussy, tongue darting out to swipe a small lick to your still sensitive clit. You yelped, hips bucking away. 

He shushed you gently and kissed your ass cheek soothingly, fitting the admittedly soggy fabric of your panties back over your pussy before getting on his feet again. With gentle hands, he turned you around, and your eyes went wide as you looked down to see his cock still hanging out of his fly, already back to full hardness. 

Bucky followed your shocked expression down and chuckled. 

“Yeah, I know,” he said, hands still cradling your shoulders, moving up to knead the muscle between your shoulders and neck, and you hummed in pleasure, eyes falling close. 

“Does that always happen?” you asked, feeling the soreness in the muscles ease up under Bucky’s dexterous fingers. 

“No,” he answered simply, and you could tell by his tone that it meant something. That it lent itself to everything he’d said about you and the supposed attractiveness you held to him. You kept your eyes closed and bit your lips to keep from smiling too broadly at that. 

Feeling emboldened, you reached for him, hands finding his clothed chest and stroking down until you reached his cock, wrapping a tentative fist around its stiff heat. 

You heard Bucky suck in a breath, and then his hand wrapped around yours, holding it tight as he thrust his hips lightly a few times, pumping his cock gently through your fist. You were ready to go again by the time he gently pried your hand away and groaned like he was being gently tortured. 

You couldn’t help your pout, opening your eyes to find him gazing at your face. 

“I want to take care of you, too,” you complained, and the gentle whine of your tone sounded so small and decidedly submissive, certainly not fitting the badass work persona you’d built. It just suddenly felt so safe to be a bit whiny with him. 

Bucky only stepped closer and cradled your face in his hands. 

“I’ll let you take care of me later, sweet thing, to your heart’s content. For now, tuck me back in and we can get outta here,” he drawled, Brooklyn accent soothing his tone and lulling you to comply, pacified by his promise to let you take care of him soon. 

You did as he said, tucking his hard cock back into his pants and doing up his fly and belt as he watched your face intently, no doubt seeing the way your eyes grew hazy, your breath labored and your face flushing all anew at the way he held you while you handled him. You let your hands linger over his bulge when you were done, dying to take him out again and just do whatever he wanted to make him feel good. 

Soon, you told yourself, soon. 

“Now, I would like to swing you one last time on that dance floor out there, let everyone see that gorgeous leg through that deadly split in your skirt. And then I want everyone to see you leave on my arm, before I take you back to mine and take care of you properly,” Bucky said, voice even and sure and smile so dashing, you couldn’t help but smile back and nod in enthusiastic agreement. 

[sunkendreams]

asking for some ethan landry smut ,,, I don’t care what you write but I need it! 🧎‍♀️

when the party’s over.

➾ pairing ; ethan landry x fem!reader.

in which you meet a cute boy at a college party and decide to have a little bit of fun behind closed doors.

FORMAT: drabble — requested.

WORD COUNT: 4K.

WARNINGS: SMUT! (mdni), alcohol/drinking, typical college party antics, hooking up, semi-public sex, risk of getting caught, virgin!ethan, making out, hair-pulling, groping, cunnilingus, oral sex (f!receiving), extreme horny antics, handjob (m!receiving), fingering, cumming together ;)), ethan has some dark/weird thoughts, cumplay, begging, dirty talk, ambiguous ending

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I’m suffering from chronic ethan landry brainrot :’) he’s so cute but unhinged/deranged and I love that !!! I love my men sexy and out for blood !! I am absolutely planning on writing a part two and/or more of him, this was so fun & horny (my favorite). I hope you all enjoy! ❤️

A homemade concoction of various alcohol stung your nose as you strolled past the kitchen, surrounded by a swarm of neon lights — vibrant shades of violet, green, and hot pink. The music blared all around you, bass booming hard enough to make your bones rattle.

Blackmore University was infamous for its chaotic parties and mixers that involved too much to drink and too many people — tonight was no exception. Halloween was right around the corner, and the party was lively with plenty of buzzed college students dressed in costumes.

The rest of your entourage had decided to be the fairies from Pixie Hollow. You hadn’t decided on a particular fairy, but you’d gotten a cute dress and trinkets to look the part. Your wings — cheap gossamer stretched over wire frames — were serviceable at best.

You came along with a group of your friends, but they scattered as soon as they walked through the door. You were left to your own devices, sipping on a hard lemonade with a sour expression. The alcohol tasted decent enough, but you were wary of getting intoxicated in unfamiliar locations.

Some radio-popular hip-hop song provided a steady ambiance as you traipsed through another hallway, narrowly avoiding a collision with a sashaying junior.

The thick, heady scent of marijuana drifted throughout the frat house, accompanied by clouds of hazy smoke. As you passed by the staircase, there was a boy slumped to one side, puffing on a bong that seemed comically large. Typical college party antics, you assumed.

As you rounded the doorway, you slammed right into a boy who seemed just as startled as you were. The drink in your hand smashed into the cardboard chest piece he was wearing, exploding onto your silvery evening dress.

“S—Shit! I’m so sorry,” He stammered, fumbling over his words as he clamored to grab a towel or a rag — anything, really. He hastily decided on a throw blanket draped over the back of a leather couch, tossing it over the puddle of spilled alcohol. “I didn’t see you.”

Before you decided to admonish him for his carelessness, you realized that it wasn’t his fault — more of a joint mistake, really. “No, it’s fine! I should’ve been looking.” You replied, crouching down to help him clean up the mess.

The front of your pretty dress was now coated in a layer of sticky booze, clinging to your chest with an uncomfortable dampness. Unfortunately, you’d left your jacket back at your dormitory, riddled with a stain that would likely stay for the duration of the party.

When you finally got a look at your obstacle, you were delighted to find that he was cute — arguably the most attractive boy in the room. “I’m really sorry about your dress. I ruined your costume.” He frowned, brows furrowing together.

You realized that he was dressed as a Knight, armor meticulously crafted of intricate cardboard cutouts and patterns. “I think we ruined each other’s costumes.” You mused, gesturing toward the splotch of alcohol all over the front of his chest.

“This is going to the dumpster once the party ends, anyway.” He confessed, letting out a soft chuckle. Admittedly, it made you laugh, nose crinkling in amusement as you cleared your throat.

“Really? I think it looks great! You put a lot of effort into it.” That was true — it was a neat costume. You found it amusing that the knight and the fairy had run into one another, as if it were ripped from the pages of some gaudy romance novel.

“Thanks,” The boy chewed at the inside of his cheek, reaching to rub at the back of his neck. “You’re supposed to be a fairy, right? I noticed the wings, and the … Dress. Before I collided with you.” He was in awe of you, truly — you were absolutely gorgeous.

Part of him thought about staking out your dorm for later, but now wasn’t the time.

A familiar wave of heat washed over you, creeping into your features as you playfully spun around. Your glittering dress and cosmetics glistened in the lower light. “The rest of my friends came as the Pixie Hollow fairies. I couldn’t really decide on one, so I made my own.”

“Yeah, well you — You look really pretty.” He swallowed the growing lump within his throat, attempting to kick away that twinge of social anxiety. It was something he struggled with — he wasn’t nearly as outgoing or charismatic as his older brother.

“Thank you, that’s really sweet of you.” Bristling from his innocuous compliment, you stepped closer, attempting to close some of the distance between the both of you. “What’s your name? I didn’t catch it.” You piped up, leaning against the doorframe.

Unable to keep from smiling, he stayed static, watching as you bridged the gap. “I’m Ethan, Ethan Landry. It’s nice to meet you.” His chest shook with a brief chuckle when you stuck out your hand for an exaggerated handshake.

“Ethan Landry,” You beamed, shaking his hand with excitable energy. After you gave him your name, the conversation only seemed to blossom from there. “It’s nice to meet you, too! What are you studying here at Blakemore?”

Ethan never had the best luck with women, especially ones as pretty as you. Not only that, but you had a whirlwind of charm to you, too. “Uh … I’m still deciding. Leaning toward film, though! What about you?” He asked, unable to keep his eyes off of you.

“I’m also in the process of deciding. I’m trying to get my basic courses out of the way before I commit to something.” You chimed, sidestepping away from the swarm of rancorous students that began to pile into the living room.

With a constant grin, you peered toward the growing crowd of students dancing in the middle of the room. A fast-paced hip-hop song began to thrum over the speakers, filling the frat house with music.

“Do you want to dance?” You asked, motioning toward the gathering in the center of the room. This was the one college party where you’d met a cute boy who seemed to take an interest — you weren’t about to squander it.

He seemed visibly hesitant, making a face that screamed ‘I don’t think it’s a good idea’. Ethan relented, deciding that taking a risk and spending more time with you would be worthwhile. “Just one. It’s getting pretty crazy in here.” He wasn’t much of a dancer, either.

“Just one!” You reaffirmed, snatching ahold of his hand as the two of you joined the mosh pit of students. Somewhere through the chaos, you ended up right against him, chest to chest, swaying and bouncing to the music. It was loud, so loud that it shook the very foundations of the building.

Ethan didn’t want to make a fool out of himself. He simply mimicked some of your movements, entranced by the way you involuntarily pressed against him, a smile on your face, drifting off to the music. You grabbed one of his hands, prompting him to twirl you around.

“So what are you doing at this party? Did you come with friends?” You asked, practically yelling at Ethan as the two of you continued to dance. It was a little awkward, but he seemed engrossed, stooping down to give you an answer.

“Yeah! I came with some friends, and my roommate. They’re around here somewhere.” Ethan replied, grabbing you and pushing you aside to avoid being smacked by flying arms and stray bodies.

As Ethan briefly looked through the crowd, he noticed Chad somewhere on the other side, cheering him on with a toothy grin. It gave him a bit of a confidence boost, no matter how small it seemed to be. You were so beautiful, jubilant and vibrant, moving with the music.

The way he looked at you was mesmerizing, the stare of a charmed, smitten boy. You were the center of gravity, the sun — bright and shining just for him. Admittedly, you weren’t oblivious, and if it weren’t for the sea of people, you might’ve been emboldened enough to kiss him.

The music began to dissipate, song trailing off into the next track. “Do you want to go somewhere else to talk?” Ethan asked, surprising you by being the first to make a move. You wondered if he really meant talking, but either way, you were happy.

“Yeah.” You nodded, reaching for his hand as he escorted you out of the dance room and toward the staircase. The two of you carefully avoided any stragglers slumped on the stairs, slipping past a gaggle of girls stumbling down from the bathroom.

Once you were upstairs, things became more hushed altogether. Even just standing on the balcony provided some relief as he ran a hand through his mop of curly hair, glancing down at you with a smile. “Is this better?” He asked, leaning against the bannister,

An amused chuckle escaped you as you nodded, tilting back against the wooden post at the top of the staircase. “Much better,” You mused, absentmindedly biting at your lower lip. “You know, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask.”

Ethan’s countenance flushed from ivory to scarlet within the blink of an eye, throat becoming dry as he attempted to come up with some viable excuse. “It’s not that, I just — Shit. This isn’t what it looks like.” He groaned, feeling your hand slip around his.

“Ethan,” You murmured, canting your head to one side. “You need to stop psyching yourself out.” Another giggle left you, enough to reassure him, put his nerves to rest as you coaxed him closer. You tugged on his hand, leading him toward a room somewhere in the back hallway.

Wordlessly, you slipped inside, realizing that this was likely someone else’s room — one that was clearly unoccupied. It was all nondescript and outfitted with the bare essentials of a dorm, lights dimmed as you shut the door behind the both of you.

Your back gently pressed against the uncomfortable wood of the door as you latched it, ensuring that no one would be barging in anytime soon. Ethan appeared both excited and bewildered, chomping at the bit to finally touch a girl. He’d been lonely for so long — and now, fantasy was becoming reality.

“Are you sure? I — What if somebody hears us or comes knocking?” Ethan asked. In all actuality, he didn’t care whatsoever. He was aching, desperate to feel you and be inside of you, if you let him. The idea of losing his virginity to a beautiful girl at a party was enticing.

Neglecting to offer an answer to his constant string of worrying, you decided to change course. “Kiss me.” You whispered, feeling a pang of molten heat hit your stomach when Ethan practically pounced on you, lips messy and inexperienced as he kissed you.

The stiff cardboard of his helmet bumped into your face, causing you to giggle. Ethan became crimson-faced, swiftly tossing it behind him onto the gray carpet. Without hesitation, he grabbed your face, kissing you again with a low groan.

Music blared from downstairs, bass able to eclipse all of the noise emerging from the guest room. Your hands moved toward his shoulders, lips tangling with his as he readjusted his grip. Ethan’s palms sank into your soft curves, clutching at your hips above the dress.

“I’ve never done anything like this before,” Ethan mumbled, peering at you through his lashes. “I want to learn, though.” He wasn’t clueless — he’d watched things online before and indulged in the company of his right hand on multiple occasions.

Gentle laughter escaped you, accompanied by a twinge of understanding. “I don’t know if I wanna go all the way in the guest room of a frat house,” You mused, fingers shifting to rake through his hair. “It’s okay, Ethan. I’m not worried about it.”

Ethan relaxed, visibly reassured by your words before you tapped a nail against the cardboard cutout framing his chest. He got the hint, happy to be rid of the ridiculous costume. He didn’t care very much for it — you, on the other hand, looked ethereal.

Instead of you steering him around, he took ahold of your hands, coaxing you toward the unmade mattress. He had a vivid idea of what he wanted to do to you. Ethan watched with wide, desirous eyes as you sat down, flesh crawling with heat when he stood between your legs.

To your complete delight, Ethan sank down onto his knees, all six feet and two inches of him, hands gently caressing your legs. “You’ll tell me if I’m not doing something right, yeah?” He prompted, sucking in a sharp breath when you kissed him.

He was tall, and you didn’t have to stoop very much at all to reach him, feeling his fingertips tease the hem of your dress. Your fingers scraped against the nape of his neck, pushing themselves throughout his mop of curly hair. The soft groan that escaped him made your heart flutter.

“I’ll tell you.” You murmured, watching as he sheepishly tilted inward for another kiss. Ethan’s hands began to creep underneath your dress at a snail’s pace, exploring every inch of you. You felt velveteen beneath his fingertips, like a fine silk.

“Can I take your dress off?” Ethan murmured, peering at you through thick eyelashes. His breath hitched within his throat as you reached toward your back, unzipping the shimmering garment.

You neglected to shimmy out of the snug fabric, letting it pool around your chest, instead. “All yours.” Your hand dipped toward the silvery straps around your ankles as you stepped out of your heels.

Ethan swallowed the lump of excitement that coalesced within the back of his throat, hands curling into the hem of your dress. Sluggishly, he began to coax the fabric down, mesmerized by the way you lifted your hips, wordlessly assisting him.

The thin straps of your lace brassiere clung to your chest, accompanied by a matching pair of panties. Ethan’s sigh was shaky, quivering with a tremor of delight as he grabbed your thighs, body pushing them apart.

“You’re so beautiful.” A low, throaty groan escaped him, lips agape as he pressed a kiss against your thigh. Even your smell was intoxicating, swarming his senses like a heady tidal wave. He didn’t know where to start, but he had an idea of what he wanted.

Swallowing his bout of nervousness, Ethan continued to kiss along your leg, feeling your fingers curl into his hair. The little tugs and motions you made only served to make his heart beat faster, goosebumps coalescing along his spine. His hands curled into the waistband of your panties, inching them down your legs.

You squirmed, chest fluttering with warmth as he looked to you for consent, skin flush with scarlet. “Please, Ethan.” Your hips jolted forward, aching for his mouth, fingers — anything that he was willing to give you. “Please keep going.”

Ethan loved that — he loved hearing you beg.

He wondered what it’d be like to make you cry, perhaps toy with you, knife in-hand, make you writhe. Some sinister part of him wanted to hear you say it again, and without thinking, his mouth moved before he could comprehend anything else.

“Say it again,” Ethan urged, chest rising and falling with soft pants as he clutched at your legs. The doe-eyed expression on your countenance only added fuel to the now-raging fire, and he watched with silent glee as you let out a soft whine. “Please.”

“Ethan, please,” Without hesitation, you pleaded with him, desperate for friction — for any shred of it. Your voice rose an octave, bleeding heat from between your legs. “Please, please,” You moaned, watching the way his pupils expanded with lust. “I want you — want your mouth.”

Despite his inexperience, Ethan was prepared to follow basic instinct, palms smoothing themselves along your thighs until he held your hips. His head dipped between your thighs, tongue sluggishly swiping along your cunt, familiarizing himself with your taste.

Your back arched, stomach swirling with an excitable heat as he took his time. There was something exploratory in-nature, a desire to savor you. His cock strained against the front of his jeans when your nails gently raked themselves over his dark curls.

He shuddered with delight, ministrations lacking any haste. Ethan went slow, almost painfully so, tongue dutifully lapping at your cunt as he kneaded into your hips. The sounds that escaped you were divine — intoxicating, really.

The bass of the music thundered underneath the both of you, and any footsteps that reverberated close by were met with indifference. He was buried between your legs, lips caressing your core as he traced along your slit. Your hips jolted forward, desperate for any scrap of friction he provided.

“Ethan,” You moaned, pleasantly surprised by how eager he was. A surge of molten heat coalesced within the pit of your stomach, churning with excitement and desire. You gingerly tugged at his curls, feeling his tongue sweep over your clit. “A—Ah! Right there!”

He paused, mouth clamoring to find that sweet spot of yours, feeling you steer him in the right direction. He lapped at your clit, cock throbbing with an urgency when you whimpered. Ethan hunched forward, gently placing one of your legs on his shoulder.

Ethan felt a newfound rush of confidence, skin hot and visage flushed as he ate you out, increasing his pace and intensity. It became somewhat sloppy, a mess of tongue and desperation, aroused by the noises that escaped you and the constant pressure of your hand in his hair.

What he wouldn’t give to watch you by yourself — a picture for later, or touching you while you slept. The thought of you beneath him, begging for more, tears in your eyes — he groaned, cock straining against the front of his jeans.

His heart hammered erratically, mirroring your own galloping heartbeat as he kissed your clit, tongue messily lapping wherever he could. You squirmed again whenever he touched that sensitive clutch of nerves, slumping backwards onto the mattress.

“Fuck, you’re addicting,” Ethan groaned, and that was enough to get you to whimper. You’d never been called that before, and the way he half-whined the words himself made your hips buck forward. “So pretty.” He whispered, nearly in disbelief as he lapped at your clit.

Your stomach sloshed with molten heat, lips agape as another moan tore past your mouth. He was working wonders, nails digging into your haunch, causing goosebumps to prickle along your thighs. “I want you to use your hand.” You sighed.

Ethan knew that he wouldn’t last long himself watching you, and when you sat up, he was scarlet-faced and visibly pained. “I—I’m sorry.” It was as if his confidence had shattered completely. He was a little embarrassed about how hard he’d gotten from this, but you seemed understanding.

“Come here,” You gestured toward the empty spot next to you, and Ethan quickly sat down. Without hesitation, your hands flew to his belt, unzipping his jeans as you reached into his boxers. “Together.”

His breath hitched within his throat as he ushered you into his lap, hovering above one of his thighs. Ethan kissed you, swallowing your needy moan in the process — you could taste yourself, the lewdness of it all. He didn’t need any guidance as he slid two fingers against your slick cunt.

It was instantaneous — the both of you were catching fire, succumbing to basic instinct and desire. You began to steadily stroke along his cock, thumb caressing the tip of his erection, oozing with precum. Ethan gasped, hips stuttering as he bucked into your palm.

Your body rolled into his hand, digits sluggishly seeking your entrance. You guided him there, noticing the way his gaze had flickered from your face to your body. You whimpered when he sank his fingers into your tight heat, pistoning in and out.

A string of saliva connected your swollen lips to his, but Ethan didn’t stop kissing you. They turned from gentle and exploratory to rough and wanton, tongue briefly tangling with yours.

Between the dimly-lit, sienna glow of the room and the thrum of the bass downstairs, you were lost in his touch, floating away into the blissful taste of his mouth. He was all around you and in your blood, like the surging of the music.

You didn’t stop whatsoever, palm slick with his precum as you pumped along the length of his cock, mesmerized by that glazed, lovestruck look in his eyes. You were wonderfully naive, oblivious to the hungering darkness and obsession that rested within Ethan’s pretty stare.

“I want you.” Ethan’s voice reverberated in between strings of heated kisses, sending a wave of heat all throughout your body. There was a stark juxtaposition between the meek, inexperienced boy and the darker, deeper tone he had just now.

You felt his desire seep into your very bones, rocking atop his thigh as his digits continued to piston in and out. Ethan was content to finger-fuck you into your orgasm, thumb seeking to toy with your clit. It caused you to gasp and shiver with delight, feeling his teeth momentarily catch your lower lip.

A soft, simpering whine left you, one hand digging into the nape of his neck as the other stroked along his cock. The intensity only continued to mount, rising like the swell of a tide. Ethan’s hips began to stutter as he let out a groan of his own, cumming into your palm.

It was messy, hot and sticky in glistening tendrils across your thigh, and you were right behind him. As you sank forward, he curled his fingers just slightly, sending you into the white-hot explosion of your release. There was a newfound spot on his jeans from where you’d been moments prior.

“Shit,” He huffed, somewhat abashed about making such a mess. His curls were disheveled, flesh shimmering with perspiration, face noticeably flushed. “Ah … Sorry.” Admittedly, Ethan loved the sight of you like this, stained with his seed, but he didn’t want to scare you off.

As you recuperated, you reached for your dress, unable to bite back the smitten smile on your features. “It’s okay,” You giggled. “I thought it was hot.” You confessed, using the spare t-shirt in your purse to clean yourself up. Something to throw in the washer, later.

Ethan blushed, clamoring to zip his jeans up as you shimmied back into your panties and dress. He noticed you struggling with the zipper towards the small of your back. “You need some help?” He asked, voice unusually soft as he stepped closer.

“Thank you,” The gesture was sweet, something that you didn’t expect. Regardless, you let him zip you back up, noticing the way he’d simply lingered close by as you buckled your heels around your ankles. “I should get going. I’m sure my friends are wondering where I am.”

“Wait,” Ethan’s hands involuntarily flew toward your hips, gently pulling you close. “I want to see you again.” Even if he had duplicitous methods of getting your phone number, he wanted this to be organic.

“Okay,” Despite having a hookup in the empty room of a frat house, you did want to see him again, too. He was painfully sweet — and that was hard to come by. “I want to see you again, too. Here.”

You wrote your number down on the cardboard chest-plate of his knight costume. He said he left his phone back at the dormitory — and you came prepared with the half-dried ink pen wasting away in the bottom of your purse.

By the time you and Ethan made it back out to the party, he was being hauled away by his friends, and you had found your group again.

If he had it his way, the next time you’d see him, you’d be at the end of his knife.

[cookie-crumblr]

Desperate Cookies<3

a Dark Desperate housewives/weeds style F!Reader X multiple Yan OC’s (M!doctor/Vet Ivar, F!bully Serana, M!Professor Reichsgraf, +more)

Episode 1~

Episode 2 here>>

MINORS DNI!

CW: Fem! Reader, reader has a vagina, reader referred to as she/her, reader has a bad relationship with food and her body(i usually add a lil comment to hopefully make it a little easier to read), threats with gun violence, guns, HARD DRUG USEAGE by reader and pm everyone else tbh, cervix fucking(just about), names against reader (dumb whore, little cocksleeve, ) p in v, failing marriage(for now 😚✨), cheating on both sides mentioned,

Disclaimer: I fully expect you to not like reader/not relate to reader, this is purely for entertainment and i implore you to think of it more like you’re an actor in a crazy DARK soap opera! :3 or this is a chance to get all the chaos out of your system, like me!

(DISCLAIMER: don’t do drugs plz, coke literally only lasts like 15 minutes, and it’s so dangerous. smoke pot instead if you need something and are able to responsibly an all that🥰✨! this is just how this reader feels)

Song rec: Do I make you Nervous? by Lilyisthatyou

“What!? What do you mean ‘lost’” You scrunch your two fingers in the air to quote the forbidden word in the face of your newest enemy.

“I donno what to tell ya, we just lost it.”

“How do you lose an entire shipping container!?” you rub your temple.

You could just about rip your hair out.

and unbeknownst to you, your face says it all.

Reaching under the diner’s table, you push the barrel of your gun to the thick meat of his left thigh.

“I’m s-sorry ma’am, I dunno what happened, I swear!” he cowers slightly with his hands up.

“Shut up.” When you speak, he instantly zips his lips.

The diner is decorated with paper bat and pumpkin bunting and pumpkin cutouts cover the windows.

A waitress comes to your table and puts a couple things down. She’s cute, you’ll give her a decent tip. two, maybe three hundred? Your eyes follow her rump in that frilly diner dress, the bow from the apron over her front makes her waist look so perfect too. you shake your head, back to the present.

You have a milkshake in front of you, vanilla, with whip cream, a cherry, and a red and white spiral striped straw.

Your delivery boy has a plate of various american breakfast items.

Neither of you touch the food. You’re watching your carbs(stupid disgusting fucking societal standards) and he’s clearly too scared.

You pull the gun away.

“Find it.”

At home~

The trees surrounding your estate are a multitude of golds, and bright orange.

Your “husband” isn’t here, thank the gods, cause fuck, do you never want to see him.

Ever.

Especially now that you’ll have to tell him a shipment is missing somehow. You put your gun in the safe in his office. The dark wood panel closes over the safe seamlessly with a turn of a busts head back into position.

Neither of you hide anything from eachother, affairs and all laid out bare, right on the table. too bad it’s only because neither of you care about the other in the slightest.

You grunt, and your head falls to the side, landing your eyes right on your antique candy dish…

You sigh, and stand to approach it.

Taking a deep breath you take the jagged pattered crystal glass lid and set it to the side. dipping your pinky into the white powder, you’re reminded that:

Every bump you take, you say you’ll quit.

You touch your little finger to your nostril and inhale sharply.

The drip down your throat almost makes you gag, you’ve still never gotten used to it.

But your good at hiding the bad sides of things.

It hits instantly, You feel as though you can do anything, and succeed. This time you inhale freely, without any weight on your shoulders, and exhale blissfully.

Getting the house ready to receive guests is more than a breeze, sure you could do everything without it, but it’s so much more fun while on it.

*Ding Dong*

Double dipping your pinky into that candy dish, and putting the lid back on, you’re now ready to head to that looming front door and open those flood gates.

They rush in in a massive herd, handing off their coats to your doorman, and rushing to complement you on either your attire or your home.

Yes yes, you’re both lovely, don’t let it all go to your head yet reader!

Now back to business.

“Is everyone comfortable? good, good. Now,” you stand in the back of the living room, opposite the closed french doors. “How are we feeling about the last chapters of the book?” You ask.

Yes.

You host your neighborhood book club.

Of course you are an active member of society, why couldn’t you be?

Just because you have a little cocaine empire on the side?

You still have to be a good trophy wife and keep up appearances.

~

A rough hand squeezes your neck, as the man attached pounds his dick deep into you, practically piercing into your womb.

“Yes! Yes! Ye—” Your voice squeaks as he cuts it off.

“Bad girls don’t get to talk,” He slaps your ass, eliciting another squeak from your throat.

The red hot sting comes down onto your ass again and you bite your lip. Your hips are digging into the desk, it hurts so much it’s raw, but holy fuck is his dick amazing.

“P-Professor!” You manage to breathe out.

“How did they lose a SHIPPING CONTAINER! Y/N! You dumb fucking whore. They Stole it!” he seethes as he yells at you through clenched teeth, his hips slapping into your ass.

He lets go of your neck to tangle his hand into your hair and pull you back against his body, and slaps your tit, as he bites your neck.

He’s left innumerable marks across your body tonight.

Your stupid husband.

You were arranged to marry this lazy, asshole, cougar chaser of a man by your parents. It’s not like you love eachother…

But his dick game is truly top tier.

“Ahhh~!” you whine out already too dumb on his cock to speak anymore.

“That’s it, take it, like a good little cocksleeve.” His long, hard dick presses deep inside you, the way he moves his hips while it’s still inside making sure to rub every spot you like makes you melt and shudder against him.

The sweet cashmere scent of him surrounds you, as it rolls off his glistening body in waves.

His thrusts become more unstable, and he bites down harder into your shoulder. It feels as though he wants to tear you open!

His hand comes down to your burning sex, to rapidly massage you.

You cry out, “Ah! mm-mm haaah!”your body twitches as he fucks you through your orgasm. Cum mixes with cum, forming a thick ring around his cock base.

He throws your spent body down onto the bed and then leaves you in the master by yourself to catch your breath.

You push your shaking self off of the mattress, wrapping the silk duvet around your sticky body before you go.

Upon inspection in the mirror, your hair is stuck to your forehead. Uhg.

Dropping the duvet, and without evading the chill of the air, you hop into the shower with Felix.

You don’t notice his eyes roaming your body, you’re too busy trying to stay warm in the water.

He hands you your shampoo with a sly smile.

“What?” Your voice is way more annoyed than you meant it.

“Nothing,” He shrugs and nonchalantly looks up at the ceiling as if it were anything interesting.

[onceuponaoneshotfanfic]

Superstar (Superstar Chapter 1)

I'm no one special, just another wide-eyed girl

Who's desperately in love with you

Give me a photograph to hang on my wall, superstar

The Reader is thrilled to start a new job at AFC Richmond- especially since it means working with a certain player-turned-coach.

Roy Kent x Reader

2.7k words

Warnings: language (because Roy Kent); I’m a bit rusty so forgive my writing!

A/N: Been having some horribly bad writer’s block in addition to work stress. Thankfully my man Roy Kent helped me finally break through!!!

~

“Well, there she is!” Coach Ted Lasso waved enthusiastically as I parked my car in the staff lot. Next to him stood Rebecca Welton, who offered the tiniest of waves and something of an apologetic smile.

I took a deep breath, my hand hovering over the driver’s side door. First day on the new job: coach’s assistant. Between three coaches, there was a lot going on; they needed someone to handle communication, schedules, and small tasks so they could focus on training and (hopefully) winning. Having grown up just around the corner from Nelson Road, it felt almost like an honor to be part of the organization.

In a blur, Ted had firmly shaken my hand for what felt like an eternity, yammered off about a dozen Lasso-isms that I wasn’t quite sure I heard correctly, and ushered me into the building, all with Rebecca following along, interjecting short corrections and reassurances every time Ted paused to take a breath.

“And this here’s the locker room,” Ted announced with a small flourish. “Now, the boys tend to be pretty modest, the only one you may see too much of is Jamie, but if you just throw a towel in his face, he’ll take the hint.” He opened the door, gesturing for me to follow.

Rebecca touched my arm gently, that tight smile still on her face. “I should be going. But please, let me know if there’s anything you need. You’re in great hands,” she added, nodding towards Ted. “Welcome to Richmond.” With another touch to my arm, she was gone.

I followed Ted into the changing room. A few guys were milling about, still in their street clothes, chattering and beginning to put their things away. They looked up when I entered, offering small nods of acknowledgement. Ted rattled off their names, all familiar to me. I made mental notes about how each one smiled and shook my hand, trying to take snapshots in my brain so I could describe every moment to my family later that night.

After meeting all the players that Ted called “early birds”, I followed Ted into the coaches’ offices, where I was quickly introduced to Coach Beard, who nodded from behind a tattered copy of Either/Or.

“Now, Coach Beard and I share this office,” Ted was explaining. “You’ll be right through here. Hope ya don’t mind sharing!” He led me through the side door to another office. “I’m sure you know this ray of sunshine here is Roy Kent.”

My stomach jumped to my throat as the man in black track pants and a dark Richmond shirt glanced up from his desk. As if I really needed to be introduced to the man whose poster still hung above the bed in my childhood bedroom. Several kits sporting his name and number hung in my closet. Hell, for one birthday my jokester dad even got me a cardboard cutout of the man. It currently sat folded in the back of a closet in my flat, but it often made an appearance in my living room when I hosted game day parties with my mates.

I was pretty sure if I dug far enough in my parents’ attic, I’d find my school notebooks with “Mrs. Roy Kent” scribbled all over them.

And now he sat in front of me, staring up at me through thick eyelashes that made me go weak in the knees. A half scowl appeared on his face. “You’re the assistant then?” He offered his hand.

I nodded, praying that neither coach could see my body trembling slightly as I reached out to shake Roy Kent’s hand. “I- I am.”

Ohmygod ohmygod I’m shaking Roy Kent’s hand I’m touching Roy Kent Roy Kent spoke to me Roy Kent is looking at me ohmygod ohmygod.

It felt far too soon when he let go of my hand. “Well, as long as you keep your shit off my desk and don’t wear any rancid perfume, we should be fucking fine.” He nodded behind him toward an empty desk. “That’s you.” Without another word, he stood up, grabbed the notebook he had been drawing in, and left.

Ted beamed at me. “Well now, that went great! That’s about as charming as you can expect Roy to be, so count yourself lucky. Now, why don’t you get yourself settled and we’ll see you in the locker room in about ten minutes?”

~

“D’you like kebabs?”

I turned my head, pausing my fingers above my keyboard. “Excuse me?”

With a giant sigh, Roy swiveled around in his chair, leaning his elbows on his knees. “Kebabs. D’you like ’em?”

“Uh, I guess.” I scrunched my nose as I stared at him. After two weeks of working for Richmond, this was the first time Roy had spoken to me so directly. Up until now, it had been mostly grunts and growls in my general direction. But, after years of watching him on the pitch, I knew by the look in his eye that he didn’t hate me- at least, not any more than he hated the rest of the world. And that was fine enough with me.

“You guess?” There was that scowl. “You either fuckin’ like ‘em or you don’t.”

It took all my strength to suppress my grin. God, he was just as gorgeous as when I used to watch him play on the television. “Fine, fine. I like kebabs.”

With a suddenness that almost made me jump in my seat, Roy stood up. “Okay.” Without another word, he walked out of our office.

About twenty minutes later, a Styrofoam container slammed onto my desk. I looked up at Roy, who towered over me, a plastic bag clutched in his fist. He glowered at me.

“Thanks, Roy,” I managed, opening the box. Sure enough, kebabs. I smiled up at him, but his eyes were scanning my desk.

“That your family?” He pointed at a frame that held a photo my family had taken during a camping trip.

“Oh, yeah. My folks and brothers. They live not far from here. We grew up huge Richmond fans.”

His eyes continued to roam my work area. “What, no pictures of your boyfriend? Is he fuckin’ ugly or somethin’?”

My cheeks heated up. “No boyfriend.” Somewhere inside me, boldness surged forward. “What about you? I don’t see your model of the week on your desk.”

He smirked. Ohmygod he smirked. “I’m too fucking old for that shit now.”

“Uh huh.” I couldn’t make myself say anything else. All I could see was that smirk, and those brown eyes. Until I realized he was waiting for me to say something. Speak, you idiot! “I like kebabs,” I blurted. Shit.

The smirk softened slightly. “So I heard.”

For a moment he just stood there, smiling down at me. Then he cleared his throat, glancing at the bag in his hand. “Don’t tell anyone I got you lunch. They’ll be trying to make me some fuckin’ errand boy if they find out.”

“Your secret’s safe with me.”

With a small hmmf, Roy nodded and headed back to his desk. I smiled down at the container on my desk and returned to my work, ignoring my burning cheeks.

~

“What does Jamie Tartt smell like?”

“Is the gaffer really like that in person?”

“Did you pass out when you met Roy Kent?”

Swallowing the bite of pasta I had been chewing on, I grinned at my family. “Tartt wears a homemade combo of Tom Ford, Dior, and Juicy Couture that he calls ‘Tartt by Tartt’. Coach Lasso is exactly what he seems. And Roy Kent…”  I cleared my throat and prayed my face wasn’t completely red. “He’s fine.” My voice cracked slightly. “We, uh share an office. He got me kebabs for lunch last week.”

“Come off it,” I scoffed. “Or else I’ll take back those VIP tickets I got you for your birthday.”

“Ooh, Roy Kent bought you kebabs?” my dad hummed, grinning at me pointedly. “My future son-in-law, the football superstar.”

Before my dad could retort, the doorbell rang. I jumped up, relieved to have a distraction.

“I’ve got it!” I just about sprinted down the hall to the front door, confident it was our elderly neighbor asking to borrow the spare key, as she did at least once a week. Instead, when I threw the door open, I found Roy Kent on my parents’ front porch.

“We should really put a fucking tracking device on you,” he grumbled as he moved past me into the entryway.

I stared at him, closing the door. “Um, not to be rude, but why are you here? At my mum and dad’s house?”

He shoved a manila envelope into my hands. “Some papers Lasso wanted you to work on if you can this weekend. Said it was important. I dunno, I don’t fucking listen to him when he yammers.”

“Oh.” I placed the envelope on a nearby table and folded my arms. “And how-how did you know where I was?”

Roy wiggled his phone in the air. “You’re one of those idiots that has their Snapchat locations on. You’re gonna get fucking murdered one of these days y’know.”

Right. Ted had made us all join multiple Snapchat groups with him; he was adamant about keeping our streaks.

I couldn’t help but grin. “And you’re gonna murder me?”

“Not today.” A small smirk cracked through that grizzled face. “But apparently if I wanted to, you’d be easy as hell to find.”

“I’ll just have to keep being a good officemate then,” I supposed teasingly. Am I flirting with Roy Kent?!

“You’re doing a fine job so far.” Roy took a step towards me, looking down at me.

Is he flirting back?!

My brain short-circuited. “Um, well I…” I coughed, looking around the entryway, as if I hadn’t walked through it my entire life. “Thanks for uh, bringing those papers.” A question interrupted the high-pitched buzzing in my brain. “Why’d you bring it by the way?”

Roy cleared his throat and took a step back, allowing a respectful space between us again. “Told you, Lasso said it’s important.”

“Yeah…” I started slowly. “But I’m sure it’s something you guys could’ve sent Will to do. Or something Ted would probably love to do, tracking me down to my dad’s birthday dinner. Why are you-?”

“He’s here! He’s there! He’s every-fucking-where! Roy Kent!” Beaming, my dad burst past me and clapped a hand on Roy’s shoulder as Roy stared at him with wide eyes. “Oh hell, Roy Kent’s in my foyer!” He turned and faced me. “I can’t believe you got Roy Kent to come down here! You’re my favorite kid, you can tell your bloody brothers that anytime.” He grabbed Roy’s hand and started pumping it, reminding me of the first time I had met Ted. “It’s an honor to have you here. Absolute honor.”

I finally found my voice. “Dad, Roy’s just here giving me some stuff for work. He’s not here for your-”

“What kind of cake do you have?” Roy’s gruff voice interrupted.

“Chocolate,” my dad answered. “M’wife made it herself. And we have plenty of pasta if you’re hungry.”

Roy unzipped his jacket. “Then happy fucking birthday. Let’s eat.”

~

A half hour later, I was still in a state of shock. Roy Kent was sitting next to me in my parents’ dining room, chatting with my dad and eating my mum’s pasta. He took all everyone’s questions in stride, not seeming to mind how obsessed my brothers were. He only growled at them twice- once when they asked about his knee, and again when they said how much they like Jamie Tartt. Of course, they made kissy faces whenever Roy wasn’t looking, and my mum kept raising her eyebrows at me with a twinkle in her eye, but the dinner was much less painful that I had expected.

And getting to sit there with Roy’s arm pressed against mine? A dream come true.

My dad cleared his throat as my brothers began clearing the plates. “I think it’s time for presents and cake then?”

I stood up; my arm felt cold after having Roy’s arm keeping it warm. “I’ll be right back, gotta go get your present.” I pressed a kiss on my dad’s head as I passed by. “Don’t embarrass me,” I hissed, giving his shoulder a squeeze. He offered me an assuring wink.

I quickly went up the stairs to my old bedroom, not completely closing the door behind me. Since I was planning to spend all weekend a their house, I had just haphazardly thrown all my things into the room when I had arrived after work. I regretted it now, noting that my idiot brothers could be saying anything to Roy while I searched for the envelope holding my dad’s birthday card and the tickets to Richmond’s next match.

I groaned. “Where the hell-”

“Ah, this isn’t the fucking loo.”

I whirled around. Roy stood in my doorway, eyebrows slightly raised as he glanced around the room. My cheeks burned as I watched him take in all the Richmond posters, which disproportionately featured his bearded face.

He is never going to talk to me again, a panicky voice in my head whimpered.

To my surprise, a small smirk formed on his face as he quietly closed the door behind him. “Why the fuck are there so many pictures of me in this room?” he asked, a chuckle escaping his lips.

I cleared my throat and stood up, straightening out my top as I cursed my teenage self for being so obsessed. “I, uh, I told you. My family’s huge Richmond fans. You’re kind of our favorite player. Hence, my dad’s excitement when he saw you.” I winced. Lame, lame, lame.

“So…” He stuck his hands in his pockets, still looking around the room at the embarrassing number of photos of himself. “Does that mean I’m your favorite too?”

Somehow, my cheeks grew warmer. “I… I mean… I guess.”

His eyes moved upward and widened slightly.

Fuck.

“Is that a fucking poster of me above your bed?”

I shifted my weight, wishing that somehow the carpet beneath me would spontaneously turn into a black hole. “Oh, you know, gotta keep the monsters away somehow.” You’re fired. You are so freaking fired for being a creepy fangirl.

Roy let out a bark of a laugh. “That’s what I’m good for? Scaring away fucking monsters?”

With a groan, I covered my face and collapsed on my bed. “Please don’t tell anyone,” I grumbled. “This was my room when I used to live here, I was a dumb kid. I swear to God, my flat is normal. A normal adult flat.”

The bed squeaked as I felt someone sit beside me. When I peeked out between my fingers, Roy was looking at me with a hint of concern on his face.

“Hey, no need to be fucking embarrassed.” He glanced up at the poster that now laid directly above us. “Can’t say I blame you. I was young and hot.”

Despite my inner anguish, I moved my hands and grinned. “You’re not that much older now, Kent,” I teased.

He raised his eyebrows at me. “I’m still hot then?”

Before I could come up with some clever retort, Roy cupped my face and leaned close. “Please say yes,” he said softly.

I gulped, knowing he could definitely feel it. “Yes,” I whispered.

He gently pressed his lips against mine, a soft, small kiss that made me melt closer to him. His beard tickled my face as his hand stroked my cheek. Roy Kent is kissing me Roy Kent is kissing me Roy Kent is kissing me.

When Roy let go, a tiny giggle escaped my lips. He smiled at me- a real smile, the one I had seen maybe a small handful of times on television over the years. He opened his mouth to say something-

“Oi!” A loud knock banged on the door. “Mum and Dad want to know if you’re snogging Roy Kent in there!”

Roy grinned at me, still holding my face. “Don’t suppose I can tell your brother to fuck off?”

I wrinkled my nose. “’d rather you didn’t,” I whispered.

“Well then.” Roy stood up, stretching out his hand to help me to my feet. “Guess we should go have some fucking cake.” He nodded up towards the poster above my bed. “You should bring that thing to work sometime. I can fucking autograph it if you want.”

[candyk0rn]

Can do some headcanons with Megumi, nanami, toge with a s/o who are into fashion designing?? Thank you!!

Fashion❧

Heyyy sorry this took a few days! I got a little busy and didn’t expect it so for that I apologize! And thanks so much for the ask!

Warnings: none!

Included: Fushiguro Megumi, Inunaki Toge, Nanami Kento

F. Megumi:

Something like fashion or outward appearance isn’t something that is necessarily relevant to him

That is, until he met you

Not only has he become more keen on the subject, but he’s been more self conscious too

‘Is the fabric I’m currently wearing clash with my—wait why am I thinking about this??’

He finds the humor in it a bit after but at first he completely denies thoughts like that

If you have a sketchbook, he loves to see it

Especially when there’s small cutouts of different clothes and patterns

He runs the pads of his fingers against them, enjoying the different textures

He’s also a very nice listener, if you ramble on while the rapid beats from your sewing machine are present, he makes sure to pay attention

He’s found comfort with the mechanical sound

Will be your model if you ask really nicely

But if you make clothing specifically for him and his measurements, he’s wearing that stuff around the city the next day

And you know all of his wants when it comes to clothing

so if it’s comfortable to wear, he will wear it until he literally can’t anymore

I.Toge:

Unlike Megumi, he embraces this interest very enthusiastically

He actually volunteers to be your model before you can even ask 🙏🏻

He doesn’t care if it’s something that looks ridiculous or wasn’t made for him, he’s gonna turn his dorm room into a vogue fashion show just you watch

He also views YouTube videos about the topics he’ll hear you talk about

Just so that he seems more knowledgeable even though he never knows what you’re really talking about

“Toge? What are you watching?” You asked him one day

“Tuna.” He says matter-of-factly as he points to the video he’s watching.

It’s: How to be a Fashion Designer 101 | Everything You Need to Know !

The dedication is 100% there

N.Kento:

Just like he has his ‘side’ job

You have yours

That’s how he viewed this interest at first, just as a small hobby

He wouldn’t say he cares for fashion or anything, but he does put thought into his appearance

That much is for certain

So when he notices how much design and fashion is to you, he finds it all the more admirable

He loves you, so if this brings you joy he will try and educate himself on the matter

Well, unless you do that part for him

He often comes home around the same time every night, but depending on the curse he was ridding the world of,

His clothes are very often scrapped

So having someone who could mend things easily and swiftly would be very much appreciated!

He also loves to watch you work

No matter the kind of work, of course

Working at the sewing machine, quickly scribbling down ideas you have, fabric shopping with you

It’s all quite heartwarming to him

Needless to say, he gets used to it very fast

And he enjoys it a lot

Thanks for reading!

[skzstoryvault]

Pretty Princess (Chan, smut)

F!Reader x Husband!Chan

Standalone story

Reader uses Chan's insecurities for sex

Established relationship.

Chan deserves all the attention and the love. He needs to be the princess too sometimes.

This is in no way meant as a commentary on the real person Chan. I just like the SKZ outward personas they all project and I get inspired to write these. No connection with the real artists. They all deserve the world.

Story includes smut, reader calls the shots, shy Chan, praise, uncomfortable but not unpleasant wristy

Please be kind.

Please do not report this post. If it's not your thing, just scroll away.

If you're underage, please scroll on, there is nothing for you here.

If you enjoy this story and are reading along, I would love to hear your comments in the replies, reblogs or DMs - however you feel most comfortable.

***

“I don’t know. Is it okay? Or too much?” Chan asks, walking out of your shared wardrobe. “Is it slutty? I don’t want to be slutty this once. But I still don't own a suit."

“Babe, stop worrying. You aren’t dressing for them, you’re dressing for me. And you know I'd show you off just as much in Ipanemas and a single hollowed out pineapple on your dick." “Are you sure it won’t be an issue?” He is standing there, in black jeans that hug his thighs just right, and a black Givenchy t-shirt that has a very inconspicuous embroidered black logo. “You could go to a convent in this fit and you wouldn’t be out of place.” You say, somewhat disappointed. “If I’m dressing for you… would you choose what I should put on? I wanna be good for you.” “Channie.. You are always good for me.” You soften and step close, wrapping your arms around his waist and pulling him close, kissing him slowly. “I’m just a horndog, always thinking of getting my hands on you. Doesn’t matter what you have on, I’m just thinking of when I get to take it off.” 

“Fuck.” He says, as a response to your words and as a reaction to feeling himself start to fill up in his pants. “I can’t go hang out with your parents like this.” “We have time, babe,” you say. “And I was going to say. If I should get to pick what you wear, I’d need you out of this shirt anyway.” He immediately pulls it up over his head and off, standing before you in just the pants, which you open, carefully pulling the zipper down. Now that so much skin is on display, you take a nice, long, appreciative look at your artistry from last night. A trail of strategically placed hickies decorates Chan's front, from his collarbones downward, over his pecs and abs, disappearing under the hem of his underwear. You know that similar wine-coloured marks adorn his hips, inner thighs and even the insides of his knees. Your need to touch and taste him is ever-present and overwhelming. Still eating him with your eyes, you go to the jewellery cabinet and pick one of your items. A gold chain necklace, that wraps around the neck and continues down with another length of chain which connects it to a waist chain. You tie it around Chan’s neck and waist, pausing to admire the result, unable to resist slowly running your thumbs over his now hard nipples. Chan looks gone. He’s holding his breath, his pupils are dilated as far as they can go and a delicate blush tints his skin from his abs to his cheeks. 

You pick another item, a string of Ghana beads, made with gold and gems, tying it around Chan’s waist as well, watching it settle lower, on his hips. Lastly, you take a sleeveless, plain white jersey shirt from the wardrobe and hand it to your boyfriend to put it on. As soon as he pulls it over his head, you grab your alteration scissors from the drawer and go to town on the shirt. Since the fabric is jersey, you don’t have to worry about it unraveling where you cut it. The pretty cutout pattern seems random, but it’s not, and the places at Chan’s sides where you cut whole patches out expose the jewellery outlining his trim waist. 

You take his hand and lead him to the full length mirror on the door of your wardrobe. 

“My pretty baby, you did so well. This is how I want you, so I can show you off to the world.” You whisper, moving your lips against the soft skin of his neck. 

His lips part in a silent gasp, seeing himself like this, in a far more daring outfit than he would have thought of putting on. Seeing you whisper into his skin like a demon leading a virgin into sin with honeyed whispers. His jeans are still open, the way you left them, and the jailbreak in his underwear doesn’t look as painful as it could be with a zipper pulled up over it. Not breaking eye contact with him in the mirror, you reach in and free his cock from behind the fabric barrier. Your pointy, long nails clack together when your hand squeezes around him, then slowly drag down his length. He’s so hard and the moment the weight of his cock rests against your palm, you can feel its rhythmic throbbing, like a pulse. You grip him harder than you think is comfortable and watch him. If he minds that, he’s not showing it, just twitching more in your grip. You don’t even have to carry on for long, just skate the pad of your thumb over the slit in the tip and caress up and down the length with a slight twisting motion. It can’t be comfortable, and normally guys use some sort of slick stuff to make the slide easier, but Chan is turned on out of his mind, which is where you need him. “Look at you. My god boy. My pretty princess, letting me do everything I want to you.” You purr in his ear, earning yourself a high pitched mewl. “But I want to be nice, you’re nothing but good for me and that deserves a reward. My pretty baby.” You punctuate your latest pet name with a sharp nail gently sliding over his slit, then lower, to the underside, where the head is most sensitive, and that’s what throws him over the edge. He comes with a surrendering moan, panting and reaching blindly for a point of support, his head resting back on your shoulder. 

“I’m… gonna need a moment.” He says, sorting himself back in his underwear and closing his jeans, watching you wipe your hand clean of his come with one of the patches you cut from his shirt. You then step into your shoes, which have you being slightly taller than him, whereas before you were the same height. “You may have taken me apart a bit too far.” 

“Are you saying you’d rather I drove? I can do that, baby boy. You just relax.” You offer. You love the idea of him just swimming in the endorphins, not having to focus on anything and later getting tipsy on Wildberry Lillets at the party. You know how that ends usually, with you fucking him by the pond at the back of the garden or in the piano room where nobody goes these days. Later, at the garden party your parents threw at your childhood home, there is not a single woman or man who is not drooling at Chan. He is blushing and squeaking when someone makes him shy with a remark or makes him laugh. Your mom walks up to you with a Veuve Clicquot flute in hand. “Maybe next time teach your husband to dress more modestly, he’s supposed to let you shine. No one’s been able to string two thoughts together since you two arrived and he took off his jacket. Animals, all of them. At my boujee function.” “But Channie is letting me shine. Who do you think picked his outfit? You taught me to go for what I want and settle for nothing less, mom. And you taught me well.”

[javierpena-inatacvest]

You're My Home

Summary: You and Javi have both had one of those weeks where no matter how hard you try, nothing seems to go right. It only takes so long before something stupid makes the both of you snap. When Javi confesses to you what's been putting him on edge, you find a way to make it up to each other.

Word Count: 4.9K

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader (no use of y/n)

Warnings: SMUT (18+), established relationship, unprotected p in v sex (wrap before u tap), vaginal fingering, creampie, angst, PTSD (poor Javi has a panic attack but you help him through it), hurt/comfort, makeup sex (!!!!), bad communication but apologizing/forgiving each other, mentions of food/eating, reader wears Javi's shirt and is carried by Javi, fluff fluff fluff bc you two are so in love with each other it hurts

This can be read as a stand alone or as a part of the It's Never Too Late Series!

A/N: I don't know what's been in the water that has me so compelled to make something angsty, but here we are!! Once I started writing this I quite literally could not stop, and it turned out to be one of the most intimate things I have ever written 😭🥺 I love these two sm

It had been a week. 

A long fucking week. 

One of those weeks where it felt like no matter how hard you tried, everything just felt… off. You had just started volunteering to run the Alma Pierce Elementary School drama club, which had you staying an extra hour and a half after school every Monday and Wednesday, on top of preparing for Parent-Teacher Conferences next week. You loved your group of students this year, but holy shit, were they chatty, and the past few days you felt like you might as well have put a cardboard cutout of yourself at the front of the room and left, because your class had absolutely zero interest in paying attention to you. To top it off, you could tell that Javi was having a bad week too. You hadn’t seen much of each other the past few days, with you working late and prepping for conferences, and Javi working on a new project the department had dropped in his lap without notice. Even though you lived in the same apartment, you had felt like strangers this week. Sure, you’d had off days before, but the two of you were always open and honest with each other, seeking comfort and safety in the other's presence, knowing that you were both there for one another, through good times, and bad. 

But this week was not like those “off” days. Something about it had felt tense, cold, even. You hated it. You hated every second of it. The two of you were never like this. Javi was your best friend, yet somehow, sitting in the same room, you still felt a million miles apart. Every interaction that you’d had left a worse taste in your mouth than the last- snapping at each other over stupid things like unclosed containers in the fridge or leaving towels on the bathroom floor. The worst was that Javi just could not seem to let things go, his presence feeling overbearing, almost bossy, with everything that you did. 

“You left the iron on while you were getting ready, you’re gonna burn down the fucking aparment.” 

“Double check the locks on the door, you forgot this morning.” 

“If you don’t fix the bath mat before you get in the shower, you’re gonna break your goddamn head open.” 

Even worse than that, when you tried to politely remind Javi about something, or do something helpful for him, he had been a complete asshole to you. 

“Yes, I can remember to clean it up after I’m done, I’m not fucking 8 years old.” 

“Jesus, I know we need more coffee creamer, you put it on the grocery list and reminded me twice.” 

“I can put away my own laundry, just let me do it.” 

It felt like he was breathing down your neck, the fly in your ear that just wouldn’t go away, and it made you want to scream. You had considered yourself to be a pretty patient person- working with kids, you had to be, but this week, Javier Peña seemed to be testing every ounce of patience you had left in your body, and you were about to run out.  

Your Friday night routine with Javi normally consisted of the 3 same things every week

Javi picking up pizza from place down the street on the way home from work

Eating the pizza and watching a movie 

Pausing said movie to have sex, finish watching the movie, and then fall asleep on the couch. 

On this particular Friday, you had a very strong suspicion that none of those 3 things would be happening tonight. When you came home, you practically collapsed from exhaustion the moment you got through the door. Dropping your bag and kicking off your shoes, you crawled your way to the couch, completely collapsing in its cushions, taking a few deep breaths to try and regain your composure from the hellish day it had been. You finally mustered up enough strength to get up and change out of your work clothes into something more comfortable before sulking around the apartment, making yourself finish chores that had seemed to go neglected all week. Javi was normally home a half hour after you, but as you looked up at the clock, he was 20 minutes later than usual. It wasn’t long before another hour had gone by, leaving you absolutely starving, unable to wait for the dinner Javi may or may not be bringing home. You scavenged through your fridge and pantry, pulling out sauce and spaghetti to make yourself pasta to at least tide you over. 

When Javi got home two hours past his normal arrival, you were shocked by the smell of pizza that filled your apartment as he walked through the door. You were even more shocked by the reaction he had to seeing the pot of noodles you had left out on the stove while you sat at the kitchen table to finish report cards to hand out at conferences. 

“Did you already fucking eat?” His tone was sharp and brash as he dropped the pizza box on the kitchen counter. 

“Well you’re home two hours later than normal, Javi. What was I supposed to do? Not eat? I’m more than capable of fending for myself if you’re not here with pizza.” You could feel pressure in your stomach rising, clenching your fists to try and hold in the last bit of patience you had. 

“That’s not the fucking point. You know I always get pizza for us on Friday, you know I’m bringing you dinner, I can’t help that things have been a shit show at work and I’m still trying to at least do something to take care of you.” 

Take care of you? Nuh, uh. That was the last straw. 

You stood up out of your chair, palms flat on the table as you glared at Javi. “Take care of me? Seriously, Javi? Like I’m some sort of helpless little puppy that can’t fend for themself? I am more than fucking capeable of taking care of myself, and this whole week you have been acting like I am literally incapable of doing anything in this house. Listen, I can tell things have been shitty for you at work, and this week has sucked for me too, but every time I try to go do something nice for you, something to actually help take care of you? You’re already halfway down my goddamn throat, telling me to stop or fix whatever it is I’m doing.” Your heart was racing, blood pumping through your veins so intensely, you could feel your hands begin to shake. 

“Because it’s my fucking job to take care of you!” He growled, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers as you stood with your hands on your hips, laughing at him in the least humorous way possible. 

“Your job? Your fucking job? You don’t think I’m capable of taking care of myself? That’s fucking great. So you can take care of me, but I can’t take care of you? Yeah, that makes sense. Un-fucking-believeable. I don’t know what the fuck has been going on with you this past week, but I can’t do this right now. I’m going on a fucking run.” You stormed to the door, throwing on your shoes as you white knuckled your keys in your grasp. 

“You fucking hate running!” Javi yelled, clenching his jaw before burying his hands in his face. 

“I don’t fucking care!” You grunted back, deliberately slamming the door behind you as you sauntered down the stairs of your apartment to the parking lot. Javi was right, there was no physical activity you hated more than running. You weren’t really sure what your plan was, just that you couldn’t stand there fighting with Javi anymore. You could feel the adrenaline flowing through you, enough to make you pick up your feet and actually begin sprinting down the sidewalk. You just kept running. Running until you could feel your sides begin to hurt, until your eyes began to sting from the tears welling behind them, until your chest felt like it was collapsing in on you, making you stop in the middle of the cement pathway in a full on breakdown. You could barely catch your breath, sobbing, as your hands dropped to your knees, your body trembling with each pathetic whimper. 

What the fuck were you doing? Why was Javi being like this? Why were you being like this? Why won’t he just talk to you? Why can you just not make things right? Why was the one person you loved more than anything in the world the one who was making you feel like you’d been run over by a semi-truck? 

Wiping your tears and snot with your sleeve, you took a deep breath and turned around to head home, determined to get to the bottom of whatever was causing you to both suffer through the worst week ever.

“Javi?” You peeked into the apartment, your voice barely above a whisper. 

“What?” He answered, his voice still sharp, making you wince as you walked over to the couch where he sat. 

“Javi… Javi what’s going on? I can’t do this anymore. If I did something to make you mad, I’m sorry, I just-” 

“Fucking work has just been a shit show, okay?” He snapped, cutting off your sentence. “I’m going to bed, I’m fucking exhausted.” He sighed as he got up, storming his way down the hallway, leaving you there alone on the couch, your bottom lip quivering as the tears began to stream down your face again, leaving you in a silent, sobbing heap on the couch. 

You waited a while before getting into bed with Javi, entering your bedroom in its already dark state to avoid crossing paths while the two of you finished your nighttime routines. You crawled into your comforter, eyes still red and puffy as you lay back to back with Javi, without so much as even a good night, let alone, an “I love you.” 

You could feel yourself stirring, tossing and turning in your sleep as you rolled over, outstretching your arm to an unfamiliarly empty space. You turned over to face Javi, now finding yourself wide awake at the fact that he wasn’t there next to you. Immediately, you shot up, calling out his name as you got out of bed, wondering where the hell he was. As you made your way into the hallway, you whispered his name once more before hearing the sounds of heavy, labored breathing coming from the living room. You rushed in, finding Javi sitting on the floor, his hand grasping at his chest with a look of pure panic on his face. 

“I feel like… Fuck, I feel like I can’t breathe. My heart is beating so fast.” He whimpered between his shaky breathing and sobs. “I just- I just kept seeing it over and over again in my head and I woke up and it still wouldn’t go away. Every when I wake up, it’s like it’s fucking haunting me. I feel like something’s crushing my chest. Baby, what’s happening?” He gasped as he looked up at you, helpless and desperate.  

Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. You knew exactly what was happening. 

Immediately, you climbed into his lap, wrapping yourself around him as tightly as possible, stretching your arms as widely as you could around the broadness of his body. You tried to slow your breathing down, taking long inhales and exhales as you held him. “Just breathe, baby. It’s okay. You’re safe, I promise. I’m here. Deep breaths, okay?” 

“Osita, I can’t- Fuck. Fuck, fuck.” His voice was trembling, each word low and labored as he grasped at the back of his shirt you had draped over your back. 

“I know, baby. I know. I know it’s scary. I promise that you’re safe. I’m here, okay? Just breathe. In and out. I’m not leaving. You’re safe with me, I promise it will be okay.” Even though your heart was shattering, you did everything you could to be the calm in his storm, whispering your reassurances in your soft, sweet voice. Slowly but surely, you could feel the intensity of his breaths lessen, the rising and falling of his chest easing as he grasped tighter at your shirt, pulling you closer to him. 

“It’s okay, Javi. It’s okay. Listen, I’m gonna ask you to do something, alright? It’s gonna sound stupid but it’s gonna help.” You could feel him nod against your chest, his sobs finally beginning to slow. “Can you open your eyes and tell me 5 things you see?” You felt him lift his head, looking up at you, his face wet and red as his deep brown eyes locked with yours.

“Fuck, um, the- the wall, the carpet, the uh, um, the couch, shit, the TV, you. I can see you.” 

“Okay, perfect. What about 4 things you can touch, like feel in your hands?” You smiled gently at him as his breathing was now at a near normal rate. He raised up his arm, wiping his damp face with his palm. 

“My fucking wet face.” The both of you smirked, bringing you relief that Javi was already half laughing. “The carpet, my shirt, that always looks better on you than it does on me. Fuck, I can feel your skin, it’s always so soft. I love feeling it.” He ran one of his hands along the bare skin of your thigh, his fingers grasping at your flesh. 

“You’re doing great, baby. How about 3 things you can hear?” 

“Um, the cars outside, the fan, I could feel your heartbeat when I was on your chest.” He pressed his head back against you, raking your fingers through the ends of his damp curls, sticking to his forehead from his panicked sweat. 

Okay, almost done. What about 2 things you can smell?” You asked, running your fingers along the nape of his neck. 

“Your shirt smells like laundry. No matter how hard I try it just always smells better when you do it. And your shampoo. It always smells so sweet and fruity, it’s my favorite.” He buried his face in the crook of your neck, his hand gently tugging at the ends of your hair, twisting his fingers through it. 

“Okay, last one. Something you can taste.” He lifted his head, looking at you as he slid the hand in your hair to cradle your jaw, cupping your face. 

“You.” He rasped, his lips barely pressing against yours, feeling the hot breaths between your mouths as they met. He pulled back, pausing for a moment before he spoke. “Baby…I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. This week has been all my fault. I’m so sorry I didn’t say anything. It’s been so long since I’ve felt like this and I was scared. I was so fucking scared.” 

“Javi, it’s okay. Please, I just want to be here for you. You know you can tell me anything, okay? I love you, Javi. I love you more than anything. I know it hurts to talk about the things that scare you the most, but it’s even scarier watching the person you love hurt so badly and not knowing what to do to help them. I don’t care what it is, baby. There’s nothing you can tell me that’s gonna scare me away.” The look on his face nearly broke you. You could tell he was so hurt. Hurt by whatever had been haunting him. Hurt by the fact he wasn’t okay. Hurt by the fact that he had hurt you. 

“The project I’ve been working on this week… It all started because of how bad things are getting across the border in Mexico. A mom was out with her kids and they were all shot in a hit and run accident between two people making a drug trade. It was only an hour from here. I watched so many people do so many fucked up things that I thought I would never have to worry about again once I got home. And even if I did, I was going to be the only person I needed to worry about. But I couldn’t stop imagining that mom with her kids was you. You and our future kids. Every night since that fucking case file got set on my desk, I wake up to the same fucking nightmare of me running down the street, trying to grab you, push you, do anything to get you out of the way, but every fucking night I’m never fast enough. All I can do is watch as that bullet goes through you and you fall to the ground. I can’t let it happen to you. What if something goes wrong and I can’t protect you? I couldn’t fucking live with myself. I just want to keep you safe Osita. I’m so sorry. I love you too much to lose you.” 

Fuck. 

It wasn’t long before you were crying with him, squeezing him tightly once again, pressed against the warmth of his bare chest. That’s what had been going on. That’s why he had been so overbearing. That’s why he hadn’t been the Javi that you’d known and loved this week. On the night he’d told you the worst of the things he had seen and done away in Colombia, you had seen how his eyes had filled with regret, remorse, even anger. But this was different. Never once in the time that you’d known him had you seen Javi so scared. The look in his eyes when you found him sitting on the floor was one of pure terror. You couldn’t imagine what it would be like, waking up night after night to the image of Javi slipping away, let alone coming to grips with the reality that you couldn’t even fathom, and he knew far too well. Javi knew you had no problem sticking up for yourself. You were strong, tough, and fiercely independent- those were all things he loved so much about you. But those things weren’t enough to protect you from the dangers that haunted his past, or the terrifying reality of the present. 

Through the silent cries of your sobs, you felt Javi’s hand under your chin, lifting your head to force your eyes to meet. “Osita, I’m so sorry. Pease, please forgive me. I’ve been so lost in my own world this week because I’ve been so scared about what could happen to you. I had my head so far up my own ass that I thought I was doing everything I could to try and keep you safe in any way that I could, and instead I’ve just been a fucking dick to the person I care about more than anything in the world. I don’t wanna fight anymore, I fucking hate it. I’m so fucking sorry.” 

You draped your arms around his neck, your fingers tracing small, gentle circles along his back as you stared back at him. “I didn’t know, Javi. I didn’t know you were so scared. I’m so sorry. I don’t wanna fight anymore either. This has been the shittiest week. I missed you. I missed my best friend.” He pressed his hand against the back of your head, cradling it in his palm as he hugged you tightly. “You just have to promise me something, okay?” 

“Anything. Anything, baby.” 

“You have to promise me that you can’t keep all of this in. You have to promise me you’ll talk to someone about it. Me, your dad, people at work, Steve, a therapist, someone. There are so many people who care so much about you who just wanna help. You’re the strongest person I know, Javi, but it’s okay to not be strong sometimes.” He let out a long, shaky breath, darting his eyes down at the ground, the Adam's apple bobbing in his throat as he swallowed. “You promise me?” You asked again, grabbing his face in your hands, swiping your thumb along his wet cheeks. 

“I promise.” 

In that moment, it was like the two of you could feel something in the air change. The tension lifting, the frustrated fog fading, the both of you desperately needing the other to know how sorry you were for the way you had acted. You found yourself face to face, eyes closing as your mouths came together in the most gentle, tender kiss. But even as your parted lips barely pressed against one another, you could practically feel how desperate you both were. 

“I love you.” 

Even though you whispered it against the soft, unshaven stubble of Javi’s cheek, it feels like you’re screaming it, determined to make sure he hears those 3 words as they fall from your lips, that he knows how much you mean each one, every second of every hour of every day. You can feel the heat in your chest as his hands grasp around the small of your back, pulling you closer as your bodies melt together, the tension straining in your muscles dissipating with each second he pulls you closer. 

“I love you too.” 

It felt like suddenly, all was right with the world again. The Javi you knew and loved had come back, returning home to you. All of the fear and sadness was replaced by a rampant desperation to know how much you needed him, almost as much as he needed to show you how desperately he craved you, too. The tingle built at the base of your spine as his fingers toyed with the hem of your shirt, his hand creeping further up your belly, pressing against the curves of your sides. You raised your arms as his fists balled up the worn fabric, carefully lifting it over your head as his hot breath ran against your neck, leaving gentle, tender kisses along your newly exposed skin. Your hands pressed against his hips, tugging at the waistband of his cotton sleep shorts as he locked his arms under your legs, bringing you both to stand as you wrapped your legs around the small of his back, the skin of your bare chests brushing against each other as he carried you toward the bedroom. Each kiss of your parted lips was like a plea, begging that the other would forgive you, that despite the way you had treated each other there was no one in the world that you loved more, that you would rather be with right here, right now. 

Crossing the threshold to the bedroom, Javi leaned his body over the mattress, carefully placing you down in the warm, tangled sheets of your bed that had felt so cold and harsh only a few hours ago. You looked up at Javi standing at the end of the bed as he nudged his shorts off of his hips, leaving him exposed, the clothes now pooling around his ankles. Crawling over you, he hooked his fingers around the waistband of your underwear, the only thing left on your body after your shirt had been left behind in the living room. You lifted your hips, helping him shuffle the fabric down your legs as he ran his hands along the meat of your thighs. He leaned over you, the temples of your foreheads pressed against each other as his fingers danced along the skin of your bare legs, barely grazing against your entrance. You could already feel the slick of your arousal pooling under his touch, the calloused pads of his fingers ever so gently tracing up and down your folds, making you shutter. 

“Javi... Please.” Your voice trembled as Javi nodded, burying his face in the crook of your neck. You gasped as you felt the thickness of his fingers heedfully pushing themselves inside you, arching your back against the bed as his thumb delicately pressed on your clit. Each thrust of his hand in and out of your heat was dragging and deliberate, the rubbing of his fingertip along your sensitive bundle of nerves making your moans muffled against his chest. Every touch of his hand made you feel better than the last, but there was something primal about the way that you needed him inside you, how you ached to feel him buried deep in heat, to feel every inch of him. “I need you. Please, I need you.” You whimpered against his skin, making him lift his head to look at you as you watched the chocolate brown of his eyes grow darker with lust. He worked in silence, removing his fingers as he stroked himself, making your cunt throb in anticipation as you felt the tip of his cock stroke along your entrance, a moan escaping from your parted lips as he guided himself inside you. 

“Fuck…” He whispered, pushing himself in further, inch by inch, before bottoming out, his tip bumping against your cervix. You wrapped your legs around his back, doing anything you could to bring him closer to you, trying to melt your bodies into one and hold him so tightly you could never let him float away again. You dug your nails into his muscular back as he began to thrust in and out of you, taking his time with each stroke, as if he was savoring every sweet moment. “I love you, Osita. I love you so much, baby. Gonna make you feel good, okay? I promise.” It was like you could feel his words with each stroke, the promise that had fallen from his lips burying itself deep inside you with every rock of his hips against yours. Your bedroom was filled with the sounds of your mixed moans and skin hitting against each other. Even when no words escaped from your mouths, it was almost as if you could hear each other through the sounds between the two of you, coating your walls. 

I love you. 

I need you. 

I’m so sorry. 

His palm pressed along the sheen of your skin, snaking down your body to rub against your clit, intensifying the throbbing that you already felt growing between your legs. With each thrust of his hips, his cock pounded deeper into your heat, hitting the spot within you that had the arousal beginning to pool intensely within your belly, that creeping familiar feeling building at the base of your spine. You dug your nails deeper into Javi’s skin, grasping for the damp curls at the nape of his neck, your whimpers growing louder and more desperate with each stroke as you could feel yourself beginning to crumble beneath him. 

“Javi, pleaseee. Bab-ahhhhh, I’m so close.” You felt your cunt begin to clench around his length, making him moan as each push and pull of hips became more intense, punching against your g-spot and making your writhe under his touch.

“I know you are, Hermosa. Cum for me baby, cum all over me and show me how you’re mine.” 

His words make something inside you snap, making you shake and your body tense as your arms and legs tightened their grip around Javi, crying out his name as your orgasm rushed through you. His lips met yours, swallowing your moans as his pumps became frantic and sloppy, only taking a few more before he was chasing his own high. “Fuck, baby. You’re so fucking perfect. Te amo más que a nada. Soy tyuo para siempre. (I love you more than anything, I’m yours, forever.). Fuck, I’m gonna- shit- I’m- ahhhhhhh” With one last push, you could feel him throbbing inside you, spilling against your walls, pumping every last drop of himself inside you as he slumped into your body, your hearts racing, chests rising and falling as one. The two of you laid there for a moment, your bodies tangled in each other, letting each of your breaths sync as you came down from your blissed out highs. Javi hissed as he turned over to pull out of you, making you whine at the loss, before rolling over to lay your head on his chest. You could feel his arm wrap around you to pull you in closer, his fingers tracing along your shoulder blade as you draped your arm across his stomach. 

“I guess that’s one way to make up for this shitty week.” You giggled as Javi shook his head, joining you, the both of you glad to hear the sweet sounds of each other's laughter for the first time in much too long. “Can we never do this again? I never wanna fight like that ever again. These last few days have sucked without you.” 

“Never. This was the fucking worst. Never again. I promise.” He kissed the top of your head, burying his nose in your messy curls as he held you just a little bit tighter. 

“Okay.” You smiled against his warm, tanned skin before looking up at him. “You wanna know the worst part?” 

“What, baby?” 

“I didn’t even get to eat any of that pizza.” Javi chuckled as he shook you playfully in his grasp, making you squirm and snicker as he held you. 

“There’s still some left in the fridge. Let me go get it and you can tell me all about your week, okay?” He kissed your forehead as he pushed himself out of bed, making his way to the door. 

“Okay. We’ve got a lot to catch up on, I didn’t even get to tell you how I had to call Mark’s mom in the middle of math because he stuck a crayon up his nose yesterday.” The both of you snorted as Javi looked back at you. 

“I can’t wait to hear all about it.” 

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