#i need them to mention the letters in twp so bad

[tycarstairs]

but also like. what if ty is writing letters to kit but he’s not sending them so he just has a whole box of letters for kit that were never sent.

“This belonged to Kit. You’ll have to write him. To say thank you. You’ll write him and give the letter to Magnus to take back when he goes.”

“Okay,” Ty said at last. “But he won’t write back.”

“Then you’ll keep on writing until he does,” Livvy said”

This just made me think that perhaps ty is actually writing to kit but kit does not answer back until that letter of ty asking for help arrives

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. XCI

It was a love story from the very beginning.

Breaking Walls (Part. II)

(12x22)

Hello my friends! We are about to finish the metas from season 12.

This time we will talk about Leader!Sam and the Foreshadow of Healing!Dean from season 14.

Trapped

The episode opens with Sam, Dean and Toni locked inside the bunker, trying desperately to find a way out.

The curious point of it, is that they will try a spell to break free...

SAM: Seems like pretty basic ingredients. Nothing we don't already have. Oh. (...) The mechanisms “must be anointed with the blood of virgins.” (...) I mean, I've read half a dozen purification rituals in the last hour. If we used one of those on – on our blood...

DEAN: Then what? Revirginize it?

SAM: Maybe.

TONI: So we purify the blood, then do the spell.

Focusing on the symbolism here, first of all, the bunker becoming a trap, and the boys trying to scape from it, is a foreshadow of Dean trapped in his own body, possesed by AU!Michael. But then the spell they choose, need purity, virginity, clean blood.

Purity will be a relevant point in season 14 as the goal searched for AU!Michael and as a recalling to Purgatory, foreshadowing Purgatory 2.0 in season 15.

So when Toni says WE PURIFY THE BLOOD AND THEN DO THE SPELL, she's giving us the prelude for Healing!Dean in season 14. The path Dean will take to purify his soul, to really grow after being possesed, and facing himself. He will have to find his own in once to break free from Michael, and his emotional prison.

While talking about the way Dean had pictured his death, this is the face he made when they mentioned "blaze of glory"

Gif credit @jaredandjensen

Which is not the face you would do if you really wanted to die of that. Dean is, at this point, as he was in season 10, considering his options, he is growing up and the blasting idea of die as "blaze of glory" is not what he really wants for himself.

When we heard his confession in season 10 and then we saw him meeting Jesse and Cesar in Season 11, we can infer what's in his heart. What he really wants. Curiously, the topic of season 14.

The explosion Dean made on the wall to break free, is a symbolic representation of the big turning point in his life when he lost Castiel.

Breaking down the walls

The mention of Jericho at the beginning of the episode refers to "break down the walls".

Jericho's battle, described by the bible, was the first battle israelites to conquer Canaan. Jericho was powerfully guarded by wall, they were able to break down in the seventh day of the battle.

What this has to do with this episode? Well. Is an episode that shows us a lot of wall that fall and break down. First of all, the bunker becoming a prison, Dean broke the wall. Now is time to break emotional/psychological wall: when he gets inside Mary's mind, trying to reach her through a very emotional speech, he will be breaking those walls, and at the same time, he will be foreshadowing Cas and Sam getting inside his head to reach him, in his emotional prison in 14x09.

Dean reached Mary through family love, but it was necessary two kind of loves to break Dean's walls: Sam (family love) and Cas (romantic love) in season 14.

The speech Dean gave to his mom to reach her is the self knowledge about his traumas.

And because is a Berens episode, we have the parallels between scenes, to show us a message.

In one scene we have Sam trying to break down the walls of British Man of Letters to defeat them, guiding a team of hunters, foreshadowing his leadership in season 14.

And in the other scene, we have Dean trying to break down his mom's walls from her emotional prison.

Bot scenes interrelated with the profound meaning that will have Dean's possesion by AU!Michael.

The way Dean's speech to reach his mother is a reflection of his own self, is the perfect philosophical path he will take in season 14: Self discovering, self acceptance.

So, we can infer that the parallel between Sam's battle against BMoL is a reflection of Dean's battle to reach his mother, but at the same time, Dean's future inner battle to break free from his emotional prison.

Sam defeats and kills the head of BMoL, releasing the american hunter's from her. Just like Dean will release his mother from the mental control. And just like Dean will break free from his emotional prison in season 14.

Dean's self aknowledgment of his traumas

When Dean arrives to his mother's mind, he finds her younger, taking care of him and Sam before she died. Is a perfect (fake) world her own mind had created to keep her away from the reality, because the reality hurts. This is the perfect parallel to 14x09, when Sam and CAS find Dean in the Rocky's bar.

DEAN: Look, I know that they messed with your head, okay? I know it feels better in here. It feels safer. (...) Mom, look at me. (...) You're choosing this.

Dean is aware his mother is trapped in her own mind, her own emotional prison. That's not real. This way he is mourning his childhood's mother too. Because he faces her, and he tries to drag her back to what she is now.

DEAN: You promised you'd keep me safe. And then you make a deal with Azazel. Yeah, it saved Dad's life, but I'll tell you something else that happened. Because on November 2, 1983, old Yellow Eyes came waltzing in to Sammy's room, because of your deal. (Mary turns abruptly and walks past Dean to Sam’s crib in the living room) You left us. Alone. 'Cause Dad was just a shell. His perfect wife? Gone. Our perfect Mom, the perfect family... was gone.

Okay, i will make a cut here. When Dean starts the speech that will make Mary to break free, he starts saying YOU PROMISE ME YOU'D KEEP ME SAFE. He's talking about him, here, that's why I said that in this same speech Dean Winchester finds himself, his traumas, as the begining of his healing journey. Then, he narrates the big scene that changed his life forever. That day he went from a normal kid to have a hard life. YOU LEFT US is pointing at the demand to his mother, the empty space that must be filled (by Dean). Something he had in his heart, burried. Is te request of that little 4 years old kid. DAD WAS JUST A SHELL is also demanding to John Winchester for not be for them as he should. He was a shell, empty spot it must be filled. (By Dean). The perfect wife and mom doesn't exist, it was a fantasy Dean kept in his mind, it was the image he had of Mary Winchester. The image of the little boy. The perfect family, gone. Remarks the mourn Dean is doing, as an exercise while talking to his mother.

Gif set credit @littlehobbit13

Dean's aknowledgment of his role in Sam's life brings him sorrow and pain, because as he will continue saying, he feels he failed.

DEAN: And that wasn't fair. And I couldn't do it. And you wanna know what that was like?

They killed the girl that he loved. He got possessed by Lucifer. They tortured him in Hell. And he lost his soul. His soul. All because of you. All of it was because of you.

Even when Dean is taking all of the bad things that happened to Sam on his back, he shows his mother she started it all. But look how Dean carries with all these curses.

DEAN: I hate you. I hate you. And I love you. 'Cause I can't – I can't help it. You're my Mom. And I understand...'cause I have made deals to save the ones I love more than once. I forgive you. I forgive you. For all of it. Everything.

Okay, this is very deep. First of all, we have Dean starting his ILY journey right here. The firsts words are said by his innocent heart, the 4 years old kid is talking here: I HATE YOU AND I LOVE YOU, is the duality of his feelings, his deep fears, and his repressed emotions. He hates his mother Because he had to go through all of that, and because Sammy had to go through all of that because of her mistakes. So, as the child he was once, he says I HATE YOU AND I LOVE YOU, BECAUSE YOU ARE MY MOM. Then, it comes the grown up man talking, as an adult, Dean is able to understand and forgive Mary's mistakes. Now that he is a man, he can connect with his mother's errors. And he is able to forgive her, reaching that peace he needed in his heart with her and with himself.

DEAN: On the other side of this, we can start over, okay? You, me, Sam. We can get it right this time. But I need you to fight. Right now, I need you to fight. I need you – I need you to look at me, Mom. I need you to really look at me and see me. Mom, I need you to see me. Please.

This, this is huge. Why? Because is a parallel to the mixtape scene. Look how Dean mentions 'YOU, ME, SAM', there's not doubt, not head tilting, no regrets as it was in the mixtape scene, why? Because there's no doubts Dean is talking about FAMILY, and not RANTIC LOVE HERE. In the mixtape scene he puts Sam as a shield, because he needed to protect himself from his own feelings YOU, ME (CAS/DEAN) it wouldeant JUST CAS AND HIM, THE TWP OF THEM, ROMANCE. GAY. But putting Sam there, he turns that into FAMILY. Now, there's not doubts in this scene, because Dean is talking about family. There's not shield needed. Family: YOU, ME, SAM. In both scenes he is asking for a new beginning, work toge as a family. But in the mixtape scene there was this romantic tension giving it an all different meaning.

When Dean asks his mom to really look at him, is the way he will bring her back to reality. Because the grown up man in front of h is the real one, his real son. The same will happen with Dean being possesed by AU!Michael, in which Dean will be able to see himself as he really is.

To Conclude:

This episode was full of symbolism, but the main topic was how to break walls, emotional walls, as a prelude to season 14, in which we will have Healing!Dean and Leader!Sam.

Hope you like this meta, see you in the next one, will be the last from season 12!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @destiels-canonahhhhhhhhhh

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you wanna read the previous metas from this season, here you have the links:

Vol. LXXV, LXXVI, LXXVII, LXXVIII, LXXIX, LXXX, LXXXI, LXXXII, LXXXIII, LXXXIV, LXXXV, LXXXVI, LXXXVII, LXXXVIII, LXXXIX, XC.

Buenos Aires, December 6th 2020, 6:59 PM

[chocolatecarstairs]

i just finished qoaad and i have a lot to say!

buckle up kids, this is gonna be a long and bumpy ride!

finished reading as of 4:37 am 12/6/2018

1. I AM SO PISSED AT JAIME! like beyond pissed. i get it dru technically lied to you. (a lie by omission. and not even a huge one at that.) but there was literally no need for you to essentially abandon her. especially after all that “she’s like a little sister to me” and “no matter what age she is we’re friends” bullshit. did you even mean any of that? or were you just saying it to get her brother off your back? honestly, she did so much for you. she hid you in london, brought cristina to you even though cristina could’ve told her brothers and gotten her in trouble, she risked quite a bit of her own personal safety and that of her family to sneak into the gard prison and bust not just you but also your brother and his friends out. but at the end of the day you can’t even be bothered to come and visit her every once in a while? drop in, say hi, ask her about how her life is going? obviously, she should’ve told you how old she was, but she seriously made up for it time and time again after you found out. you also seemed to want to be near her in idris when the battle was going on. you said goodbye to her before you went to fight, you protected her when she had to go out to the field, and you were going to go with her to save jules and emma before you saw that diego was hurt. what the hell changed in between that and the wedding? you’re being a fake friend and i don’t like it.

2. I AM SO PISSED AT KIT! admittedly less pissed than i am at jaime. but pissed nonetheless. i get that ty didn’t respond to you telling him you loved him. he probably didn’t realize you meant it the way you did. for god’s sake, he’s autistic, kit! and obviously, he should never have been trying to raise livvy from the dead, but you should have told him as much! you should have gone to jules or mark or helen or literally anyone instead of letting it go as far as it did. i mean did you really think trying to stop him in the middle of the spell was going to work? honestly, kit! not to mention you leaving! tessa and jem are amazing people. they’re going to love you and nurture you and you’ll get to be around their baby! i would be happy for you. IF YOU’D GONE WITH THEM BECAUSE YOU REALLY WANTED TO. all it would’ve taken was a conversation with ty. just one. you could’ve told him how you felt. if he didn’t feel the same way then, sure, you could’ve gone with tessa and jem. but it’s entirely possible that he would have. not to mention you at least owed him and dru and explanation or a goodbye. and, no, staring creepily at them from a distance at the wedding does not count as a goodbye! neither does making jem explain it for you. ty lost his twin. he was going through so much. he was obviously not himself. you were someone who was supposed to get him through that and instead you abandoned him without so much as a goodbye or a see you later. hmph. and poor drusilla. she wanted friends, kit, that was it. her oldest brothers were too busy trying to save the world and take care of her to have a true sibling relationship with her. her older sisters were either dead, or had literally just come back from five years in exile. her younger brother was too young and innocent to be any kind of true friend to her yet. and ty, the only sibling she has left that is close enough to her age to be her friend, wouldn’t let her in. she thought she’d found that in you! you taught her how to pick locks, you were teaching her how to con, you were beginning to think of her as a younger sister! and suddenly, when you can’t imagine having a relationship with ty anymore, all thoughts of the relationship you were forming with dru go out the window? god, kit. even if you were going to leave. even if you didn’t want to see ty. you could have seen dru. you could have told her you had to leave and said goodbye to her. told her that you were sorry. asked her to pass the message along to ty. making jem do it was weak, and you know it. i want to be happy for you, but you’re making it really freaking hard.

3. can we talk about the parabatai curse for a second? first things first, the heavenly fire! i’m honestly pretty surprised i was right about that one. i was so, so, so worried that the curse would actually turn them into angels. i did not want that to happen. i obviously had no clue that it would make them grow into giant, fiery, death machines, but alas. i think the whole true nephilim thing was kind of cool, actually. it’s also kind of crazy that the parabatai bond is so strong that when one of the parabatai turned into a true nephilim the other one followed. i honestly still can’t really believe it. i had a pretty hard time picturing emma and julian the size of skyscrapers crushing the cohort, but i found it kind of entertaining. i also almost cried when helen, ty, dru, and tavvy talked to them to bring them back. even cristina, kieran, and aline had things to say to them. it was a really touching scene. i’m also super proud of dru for being able to lead her family and convince them that they needed to help emma and julian. she’s grown so much since lady midnight (but more on that later). the fact that becoming true nephilim broke their parabatai bond is one of the easiest conclusions of any plot in shadowhunter history. especially one that was one of the main plots of a series. i’m so happy for jules and emma. i wish we could see more of them on their travel year. and i hope in twp they’ll be like jace and clary were in tda.

4. kieran kingson to kieran king of the unseelie court. honestly, i expected this one. i didn’t think cassie was going to give us a full-blown polyamorous relationship in all its day-to-day glory. kieran is going to make an amazing king. i’ve loved his character development over the course of the series. we watched him turn from a jealous member of the wild hunt, to a disgraced and begrudgingly helpful prince, to a remorseful and loving faerie, and finally, to a proud and kind king. i’m glad he can still be with cristina and mark in adaon’s cottage, but i almost wish it hadn’t ended this way. i feel bad that he can’t be happy in faerie and that mark and cristina will feel like something is missing whenever they are together without him in the mortal world. it’s bittersweet but more sweet than bitter.

5. i love julian blackthorn. i genuinely did not even know there were people out there who didn’t love him with their entire hearts and souls. i didn’t even know that there was so much controversy around him until i got into the tda tumblr fandom. i am almost never mad at him. almost. the whole ‘no feelings’ thing got old fast. i was pissed at magnus for performing the spell in the first place and i was mega-pissed at jules for requesting it and asking magnus to do it even once he’d heard of the consequences. i hated no feelings julian. it was so sad for me to see the julian i know and love, specifically because he cares so hard and so deeply, lose all his love and compassion. he literally turned into the julian antis like to picture him as. manipulating emma using sex and her desire/love for him was not cool. killing dane was not cool. not to mention, ty needed him. ty was totally broken after livvy’s death. he was holding himself together with some crazy plan to raise her from the dead. he needed julian to tell him he would be okay and to help piece his world back together. obviously, there were times julian literally couldn’t be there for him like when he was in faerie or thule. but when he got back he had a few opportunities to help his brother that he missed because of the stupid spell. this is the only time i’ve ever been genuinely mad at or disappointed in jules. it was painful.

6. let’s talk about thule. crazy to see sebastian’s vision for the world come to a reality. even crazier that he was in this series at all. thule proved that tessa is the strongest warlock of all time and that church is significant to the plot after all. cameron turns out to be a nice dude. diana is openly trans. raphael is alive and kind of funny and lovable (”vampires excel at ispy”). julian was temporarily free of the spell and the parabatai bond didn’t exist. i kind of loved thule. but there were sad and hard parts too. everyone is basically dead. people who haven’t sworn loyalty to sebastian are chased around and hunted by demons for fun. tessa gave her life to finally defeat sebastian. and poor thule!livvy. having to live in a world all by herself. helen is presumably and almost certainly dead. same with dru. julian and emma were endarkened and now they’re dead (nice to see that julian would literally kill himself, in this case thule!julian for his family, though). tavvy was taken and for sure killed by a demon. that same demon slit ty’s throat and thule!livvy held him as he died. she had to make the hard a terrible decision to let cameron, her boyfriend and probably one of the only people she had left, die trapped in the silent city forever. and she couldn’t go with jules and emma back to earth. as much as i knew it was going to happen, it was still terrible and heart-wrenching to see them seperated again. her letter to ty was one of the few moments in the book that made me cry. the fact that ty didn’t even bother much with it really bothered me. ”i love you. i love you. i love you.” it will forever break my heart and also be one of my favorite lines from the entire series. i really do hope that thule!livvy and ty somehow meet in twp. i need them both to get some closure more than i can say.

7. ty. my poor, beautiful ty. he had a really amazing facade throughout pretty much the entire book. i genuinely believed he was okay for a while. but when kit kept mentioning the bruises on his hands, i knew something was up. when dru went into his room and found it a complete mess, with books and clothes everywhere and furniture destroyed, my heart literally cracked in my chest. my baby ty did not deserve the pain he was feeling. i wish he’d gotten more help from kit, or dru, or helen. i wish julian hadn’t been such an idiot with that spell, so he could’ve been there for ty like he deserved. seeing him so distraught made me almost happy that he brought back livvy’s ghost.

8. i’m a little confused about the whole livvy’s ghost thing. the way i read it, ty ripped a hole in the fabric between the world of the living and the world of the dead. but i literally read the entire last 300 pages in like two hours, so i don’t think i totally absorbed everything. (i’ll go back through it all on the reread). basically, if that’s the case, wouldn’t livvy be able to come and go between the worlds as she pleased? what about other ghosts? this is almost definitely tying into the plot of twp. the same way the emma and jules deciding to become parabatai tied into tda. i wish that he hadn’t raised her ghost, because livvy really deserved to rest peacefully. i just hope he has some nice times with livvy’s ghost before he probably has to get rid of her. hopefully, dru can learn to see her too. (also can we talk about her ghost coming to jules during the livia’s watch meeting? broke my heart)

9. dru really grew up right before our eyes, didn’t she? she went from a sort of shy, timid little girl who wanted nothing more than to join the fight to a strong young woman who knew her worth and learned that fighting in battle isn’t always what makes you brave. she went on her own and broke the prisoners out of the gard. and when everyone was going to battle, she stayed behind with tavvy to keep him safe and comfort him.  when jaime was being an ass (still mad at him by the way) she didn’t make herself into someone she wasn’t to try to make him happy. i’m really proud of dru. i can’t wait for her to go to the new shadowhunter academy, make some new friends. kick jaime’s ass for being a dick, and more in the wicked powers.

10. diego becoming inquisitor was probably one of the things i least expected from queen, but i can’t say i’m mad about it. i honestly think its the perfect job for him. i’m happy to see he’s moved on from cristina and didn’t die like i thought he would. he’s really grown on me throughout the series. i went from not really liking him, to hating him, to pitying him, to loving and respecting him as a character. i can’t wait to see what he does as inquisitor and how he help’s move the new clave-in-exile forward. speaking of which, alec as consul. wow. i am so proud of my little baby. he really does deserve the world. he is going to do amazing things for the clave and bring them forward to be more a more caring, accepting, and diverse group of people. i’m so happy that he’s now in the position to make the changes he wants to see in the world. like downworlder-shadowhunter marriages. speaking of which, the malec wedding! i am so happy for the two of them! it is so incredibly cute that alec surpirsed magnus with a wedding ceremony. and that he was so nervous to propose (even though they were already basically married anyways). it was so beautiful. jace as alec’s suggenes. catarina as magnus’. the fireworks. ugh. goals right there. it was also so sweet that kieran came and the hot faerie threesome reunited. and that emma and julian got to be together for real, in public, happily. the whole thing about the blackthorn kids freaking out whenever they found them kissing in the institute hallways was the cutest thing. it made me all warm and fuzzy. i was kind of happy to see that livvy’s ghost was there with ty, but i just hope that she isn’t always there and that ty will eventually learn to live without her. kit staring at him from a distance was sad and creepy. and i’m lowkey pissed that jem and tessa weren’t at the wedding. wtf is that guys? so rude. otherwise super cute, super fun, super happy way to end the book. i approve. 10/10.

11. i can’t believe that alec offered mark and cristina positions on the downworlder-shadowhunter alliance. this is like a dream come true for cristina and i’m so happy for her. i also really hope it will help mark reconcile the differences he feels from other shadowhunters, including his own family, and hopefully, he will feel less torn between the worlds of faeries and mortals. i’m also glad mark and cristina will be staying together. when i heard cristina was going back to mexico, i was very disappointed. her travel year was nowhere near over and i’d hoped she would’ve stayed in los angeles or her and mark would’ve gone with emma and jules. i’m really glad that her and mark will at least be together and get to grow as a couple. it is bittersweet though because it means that the blackthorns are growing apart. jules and emma are going on a (well-deserved) travel year, mark is moving to new york, cristina is going with him. ty is heading to the sholomance, next time we see dru she’ll be at the academy in new york. they’re doing what a normal family does as it grows, and going their separate ways, but it's still so hard to watch it happen when part of what i love about them is that they’re such a tight-knit group. i’m just glad that they’ll all have the institute to return to whenever they want.

12. haline really tugged at my heartstrings this time around. i’ve gotta say, i was fully prepared to not totally like aline. she wasn’t much of an important or defining character to me in tmi and what i did see of her was just kind of eh to me. when cassie released that frittata snippet i was so ready not to like her. i have a major blind spot when it comes to my blackthorn babies, and if anyone even sort of messes with them i am 100% ready to rip their heads off. but i actually really loved aline. she was badass and sensitive and funny and independent and caring all at the same time. seeing her with helen was honestly so cute. their relationship was amazing. i’m so glad they had each other while they were on wrangel island and helped each other adjust to being back. ugh hope to see more of them in la soon. hope they have their baby and tavvy won’t be the baby of the family anymore. i hope they’re only happy for the rest of their lives.

13. i honestly wish the cohort had died. like i was lowkey cheering giant fiery jules and emma on as they slowly, brutally murdered them one by one. they’re awful, bigoted, terrible people and i can’t stand them. zara is one of the worst. i honestly wish emma had killed her. in front of the institute, in battle, i don’t care. i just wish she was dead. she actually deserved it. stabbing emma in the back was one of the lowest moves she ever could have pulled. and all because she was throwing a tantrum that the sword she stole from emma was taken back by emma. when cortana chose emma i was probably the happiest i could be reading the book. emma deserved it and cortana knew it. i do have to say i was in shock that the cohort threatened to kill themselves when alec was elected. and even more shocked that the entire clave left alicante and idris to the cohort. i am sad that the shadowhunters lost their beloved home country. i knew that the cohort was going to gain some kind of power and that they weren’t going anywhere, but this is something i did not expect at all. i have high hopes for the clave-in-exile. alec has already been so good and kind. he changed the laws to allow shadowhunters and downworlders to get married. he praised and accepted diana for being trans and strives to educate himself on transgender people and shadowhunters and what exactly being trans means. hopefully, this kind of open-mindedness and acceptance of others and their differences will stem into the whole of the neurodiverse shadowhunter community. people. like ty, who have autism, or adhd, or dyslexia, or depression and anxiety. the subtle mentions of these things without naming them throughout tda really showed how ignorant the clave is to these kinds of people. (speaking as someone who has add and was ignored for a long time) it isn’t an easy feat to know there is something wrong or different about you but not have anyone acknowledge it. hopefully, alec will learn about the mundane treatments and coping mechanisms for the many neurodivergent shadowhunters out there and allow them the tools thet need to suceed.

14. when annabel died i cheered. i know it seems awful, but the image of julian severing her spine and stabbing her through the heart made me warm and fuzzy inside. my baby avenged his baby livia. AND thule!livvy was there to watch. a truly beautiful moment. i do not feel bad for annabel in the slightest. at first, she was so tortured and sad that i felt for her. even, a little bit, after she killed livvy. i would think, well the cohort was what drove her over the edge or maybe she wouldn’t have done it if her mind wasn’t so destroyed from malcolm’s spells.  but no. she proved that she was lucid and sane enough to manipulate and lie and deceive time and time again. in the unseelie court and in thule. when jules finally got to take of the rag with livvy’s blood on it and throw it onto her dying body i did a little dance. annabel deserved the death she got. and livvy deserved someone to avenge her. but what happened to the black volume? at first, i thought it would stay in thule forever, but if thule!jace and ash could make it into the seelie courts, then it stands to reason that there is another portal open somewhere and that the black volume can be brought back to the seelie queen. i have a feeling we’ll be seeing more of the black volume and necromantic magic in twp. also, can we talk about the fact that the black volume is the dark artifices? it makes sense considering the fact that it has been a major part and plot point of the entire series, but i felt like it was a little underhyped. the seelie king was like oh the black volume aka the dark artifices and then we never talked about it again. i don’t know is that just me?

15. clary is alive! i, for one, genuinely thought she was going to die. the fact that her dreams of herself dying were visions of what was happening in thule seemed kind of cheap. like there was a ton of build up for absolutely no reason. then again, her dreams really were only mentioned, like, once in the series before qoaad and really not much in queen. we really just hyped it all up a lot as a fandom, so i guess we shouldn’t have expected more. but i am glad she is alive because that means her and jace are getting married! when jace said he wanted six or eight kids because of the blackthorns, i cried a little inside. so cute! cassie better give us the clace wedding and not just fast forward to twp where they will already be married and chasing around a while expecting another baby (i am speaking this into existence). speaking of weddings that we need to see in writing, sizzy! my babies are happy! i have shipped sizzy since day one, guys. day one. if i am robbed of a sizzy wedding i will riot and it will not be pretty. 

16. that epilogue though! i was not expecting it. i was confused for a littke while. in the back of my mind, i was wondering how ash would even tie into twp if he was in thule. now i know. thule!jace is crazy. i have a feeling there will be an epic showdown between him and normal jace which will be super interesting. i have a feeling thule!jace is a lot like what our jace was like when he was linked to sebastian. considering he basically has been for quite some time and apparently, there is no going back. hopefully someone kills the seelie queen in twp and someone better can take over the trone bc that bitch has been getting on my nerves since day one.

17. ty is going to the sholomance and i’m so happy for my little baby. the sholomance is going to have great teachers, like catarina and ragnor, and ty is going to learn so much. kit is with tessa and jem and, while i’m still super pissed at him and upset he isn;t with ty, i am so glad he’s going to have parents for once in his life. parents who are loving and kind and caring. and he’ll get to hang out with baby carstairs (hopefully a boy named will. i’m speaking that one into existence too.). dru is going to make new friends. tavvy is going to grow up. helen and aline are going to have a baby, so all our faves will be aunts/uncles. ugh, i cannot wait for the wicked powers you guys have no idea!

this is basically it! if you guys want to hear my opinions on anything else, or you have any questions for me about any part of the book my asks are always open! i seriously love when you guys send me asks, so please do!