#i need the right kind of outlet
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#^farmer’s market goat :)#vent post#I feel bad posting vent posts so I try to have good pictures/screenshots for them skskskd#disclaimer that I’m okay but also this is above tumblr’s pay grade. I just need to yell into the void about it#health stuff is taking a sudden downward turn and I’m stressed about it#I’m fine#but we’re considering getting genetic testing to check for vascular Ehlers Danlos#which is. concerning.#that’s the one you don’t want#‘half of people with this condition will live to at least 48’ reassuring. thanks.#like. I’m FINE right now but kind of having a little existential mortality crisis over having to consider it as a possibility#it might be nothing or something else. we’re just talking possibilities. but I don’t like that we’re seriously discussing vEDS#idk. hopefully in a few months I come back with an update and it’s nothing/something else#I’m not gonna just keel over but it’s not a fun time as you get older#again. I’m fine right now. it’s probably just my anxiety. but I need SOME sort of outlet#and on tumblr nobody’s pressured to respond. I don’t really want a vent discussion or anything#just need to get it out and move on with making appointments and pushing fluids#but everything is okay right now. I’ll make appointments. I’ll discuss medications and testing. I’ll make lifestyle changes where I can.#it’ll be fine
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day 5 progress (first two, technically taken today because i didnt take pics before i went to bed yesterday) + day 6 (last two) !!
as predicted, i WILL need an extra day of work to finish crocheting this, but she is SO big and SO gorgeous i am really proud of myself. she's 49 inches big right now (measuring from the center to one of the peaks). im measuring in inches because thats what the pattern does. so for anyone else wondering what the FUCK 49 inches are in cm: approx 124.50cm. thats how big she is right now. yay!!! cant wait to keep crocheting tomorrow. HOPEFULLY i won't need to extend it another extra day, but i wouldn't be surprised if i did have to.
#txt#crocheting#im really proud of myself. i cant wait for it to be done so i can take pretty pictures of it. and i cant wait to make one for myself bc.#oh my god she's really really gongeous. i worked quite a bit out of the house today too which was really refreshing.#someone on the train saw me and mother doing fiber arts (mother was knitting. i was obv crocheting) and was telling his gf/wife about how#he had fiber arts lessons in prison. it felt lowkey weird bc we were RIGHT THERE and he was like “OBV i didnt WANT to learn” but like. idk.#knowing theres fiber arts lessons in some prisons is like. kind of nice in a way? like. he was talking abt how they had so many#creative outlets and like. idk. obv prison isnt nice but im glad they had SOME sort of creative outlet. i think everyone needs one#anyways. i'll stop yapping for now
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idk maybe talking about my writing seems conceited for who hasn't published much of anything and hasn't finished anything as of yet, or maybe all this hand wringing is annoying, but i've written a lot of bits and pieces over the years and it's enough for me to be reasonably comfortable with the basics, you know? but working on something this long is presenting a whole other world of trouble for me and i think i accidentally put a hell of a lot more of myself into it than i meant to. so i'm feeling particularly vulnerable about it being out there and existing. it means a lot to me and that's scary!
#i know i wasn't anywhere near as annoying about publishing light headeds first chapter#obviously i cared about it and i was excited to publish something for the first time in this fandom (wow! i did it!) but its not a big deal#there are no major unknowns with it as a project. i will continue it just couldn't make up my mind about one specific thing#so now the rest of the chapters are on hold while i focus on i&i for a while#i could probably polish up and publish more of my drabbles but its mostly pretty dumb and generic aus that arent saying much of anything#maybe thats being pretentious but i want to say something with my work and like. if it's not meeting my own standards i'm not putting it ou#sorry for all the rambling. i needed to work through some stuff and talking helps#i've always had a contentious relationship with my work which is why you don't see much of it. because it's not good enough#this project is my main creative outlet right now because carpal tunnel and my work schedule have fucked up everything else for me#and like. to be honest i kind of want to destroy it. because it means something to me and it's hard and that's scary#it didn't have someone else's work attached i probably would have deleted it by now#that's a weird place to be with a creative project#anyway if you want to read my dumb bro/grandpa superhero au that started out a gag and quickly devolved into tragedy then let me know ig
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You're right it's very possible that Nol had a fight with his mother... I was also moved to a different country as a child, and I remember having a phase where I resented my parents for it because I was promised all these good things, but all I got was homesickness and feeling lost in the new environment. It was probably similar for him, and it would make complete sense if he argued with Nessa about it. And related to what you sad about Nol being angry and bitter and hot-headed... I keep thinking about the dialogue that was like "He sent someone's son to the hospital" or something like that. We know it was not Kousuke, because he seemed physically fine after whatever happened. So it must be someone different then. And... Nol must have gone to school, right? Yes they were illegal immigrants, but surely Rand could have pulled some strings to get his son into a school. If he was homeschooled like Alyssa, we would probably know that, right? So, what if before the incident with Kousuke, Nol got into a fight, maybe even multiple times? Maybe those kids in school teased Nol for something. For looking different, the red hair, the freckles, his foreign name, maybe not speaking the language well. Maybe they were rumors going around about his mother, how she is a mistress, how his father is a skirt chaser, how Nol is an illegitimate child, how they're all bad people. Kids can be cruel and probably used less polite words, if you know what I mean. And Nol was already dealing with everything you mentioned. Maybe those kids pushed it too far and he snapped and lashed out. Similarly to what happened with Shin-Ae, basically. Except Shin-Ae was this small girl, she couldn't do *too* much damage (though the boy she fought looked pretty rough), but Nol was always big and tall for his age, so maybe he underestimated his strength and severely injured someone.
Think of it this way, too: One instance of being violent and unstable isn't really enough to justify locking a child into a mental facility for two years, especially with the media involved and the whole story being very public. There are procedures and protocols in place. Sure, Yui could've arranged it regardless. But what I think happened is that she got wind of the fight at school, and used it to her advantage. Made Nol appear like a repeat offender. There were already rumors and even "proof" of him being unstable and aggressive, which makes him getting violent again so much more believable, right. Much easier to convince everyone that putting him in the facility is necessary, that it's the right thing to do. It would also make it easier for Kousuke to believe Yui's narrative, because the kid attacked someone at school and you're his victim too but don't worry he is under control now you're safe. And most importantly, it would make it easier to make Nol believe that about himself. I didn't do anything to Kousuke but everyone keeps telling me that I did, so maybe I'm wrong? I know I lost control and hurt someone before, so maybe they're right and it happened again? Can I even trust what I remember, what I believe? Maybe there really is something very wrong with me? Maybe I am an unstable dangerous person that should be kept away from everyone? That deserves punishment? It would be so much easier to insert these beliefs into his head, mess with his memories and his self-perception, when there is undeniable proof of violent behavior and he probably already feels guilty about that and is starting to question himself...
First off, Nonny 💕 Thank you for sharing your experience 🥺 I can't imagine that must've been easy for you as a child to deal with such a radical change to your life.
But yes, I very much agree with you! I can't remember if I've ever said it on here or if it's only come up in my conversations, but I've been wondering for a while now if Nol DID, in fact, hurt someone. It used to be that I wondered if he really DID hurt Kousuke - quimchee has said before that they've had one fight. But a couple things never made sense. Wasn't it curious that he said "people got hurt"?
In retrospect, it seems like an odd way to put it - that he had issues plural and that was what kept them apart. People got hurt. Even the article that mentions the heir being attacked doesn't make it sound like Kousuke had to be hospitalized. But right, I agree he very well still could have sent someone's kid to the hospital with everything he had on his plate - his unhappiness, the hot-headed anger, kids being cruel and bullying him, spreading rumors, being xenophobic, etc.
There's also this
"Especially after hearing how you were treated in middle school."
This has stuck out to me ever since this episode dropped because of what we DO concretely know... nothing really fits that logic, does it? Had Nol ever fought Kousuke, that's not something that he'd think relates to Shinae being bullied and fighting a kid in act of desperation.
But if Nol was fighting kids, had really hurt someone and his very important father pulled weight so Nol got into less trouble... That feels like it could be something he fears will change her perception of him, what he thinks of her. Because right, even if he was lashing out after being pushed too far, the right button was pushed and he attacked, it's SO easy to see how he could turn that on himself. Further to this point, it sounds like he was put through anger management therapy and we know he uses his punching bag to let out his anger, we can absolutely see how very easily he blames himself, how HE could have been convinced of all of this. That he's unstable, he's dangerous, he needs to be subdued.
And further to that, it makes me wonder if punching Sangchul was parallel to what happened in his past. Again, Sangchul was the one taunting him, baiting him because he was certain Nol was too much of a coward to attack, so he pressed his buttons and Nol snapped. And what's more, Kousuke knows a LOT of intimate details about Nol and his family. Plenty of people know rumors about Nol and his institutionalization. Maybe Sangchul figired not only was Nol too much of a coward to act out but because he has a pre-existing record he couldn't lash out without getting into trouble.
And because everything is a parallel and Nol and Shinae are mirrors, it feels very likely that his own incidents with fighting and hurting someone were similar to Shinae's experience, where he reached his limit where it all spilled out where he lashed out at the people who were making his life hell and more miserable than before. Again, it's SO EASY to twist it around on him if he made that first move. "You should have just ignored them. You shouldn't have let their words get to you. You struck first. You hurt someone."
Likewise, it makes it so much easier to kind of brainwash him with this thinking in the hospital. To convince him that he's a bad person who deserves no kindness, who needs to be punished. As readers we get it, we understand. We see how he's been treated by people, reduced to nothing, made to feel like a bother, a mistake, that he only makes things worse. His mother's death looks like suicide, like she took her own life and abandoned him in this foreign country so far away from anyone he knows and left with this cruel family who treats him like he doesn't exist, shouldn't exist, and all of the kids who have bullied him and made him feel like shit. 😭😭😭
How easy it would be to convince this poor kid, this illegitimate bastard of the Hirahara family living as an undocumented immigrant in their shadow, that he is a terrible person who has hurt so many people who doesn't belong here who only hurts people, who can only bring harm to the people he cares about. It also would explain why he worked so hard at absolution - he believes he has so much to atone for.
And that's the worst part, isn't it? To know that he probably did fight, probably did hurt someone after putting up for so long with people taunting him, mocking, bullying him, that no one defended or protected him and when he reached breaking point, he was faulted for how he reacted. It sounds like no one gave him the help he REALLY needed, the understanding and compassion as well as the anger management. All too often when it comes to bullying we see this kind of thing, too. Those children were responsible for pushing his buttons but instead he gets blamed because he couldn't "just ignore them". Instead he was made to feel like a monster, to take all of the blame for not being able to handle what others did to him. Expecting people, especially children, to be able to carry that kind of stress, to live with those kinds of harassment and never to step in or defend them, to try to put a stop to it before it reached that stage. 😭
Once again and as always, these children were all failed by the adults meant to protect them and I will never get over it.
#I Love Yoo#ILY Brainrot#ILY Anon#Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn#i have so many feelings about this and esp about the kids being failed by the adults#it KILLS me#and esp if we are right about this yes Nol did need some help it's good that he's got an outlet for his frustration and anger these days#but at the risk of taking the blame for everything#for feeling like he is a dangerous monster#that he causes hurt and pain#that BECAUSE of all of that he believes he must always be punished that he doesn't even deserve kindness and friendship#😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#hurts my heart#they fucked up this poor child#and as a result he's internalized EVERYTHING#EVEN HIS MOM'S DEATH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#also i wrote this on mobile pls forgive any typos lmao i am abysmal at writing on my phone but i HAD to answer this
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i'm so sick of doctors i'm literally so sick of doctors. i want to get help for all of our problems but then we have doctors that refuse to listen to us or support us and it just makes me want to give up. and then having family (especially parents) who don't understand our disability at all then try and give us unsolicited advice on our medical problems or try to tell us to stop getting help because if the doctor thinks it's nothing it must be nothing makes it even more frustrating
#vent#vent post#i know we don't normally post these kinds of things so sorry to be a downer#i just need an outlet right now#'didnt you have an eeg a couple months ago why do you need another' because the doctor ordered it#'the eeg is normal so that means you're cleared for not having seizures right' no it most certainly does not#'i'm not recommending you for that surgery because in the 90s it was bad'#did you seriously just cite the 90s for your knowledge on modern medicine#'yes you have a brain malformation but its not the cause of your symptoms'#please listen to yourself when you speak
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fuck dude i have got to find a job where i can be self-employed and creative. i cannot be in fucking retail hell anymore
#she bork#tbd#like now i don't deal w customers which is cool but now that i work at like a big retail store and not a little mall outlet the pressure is#insane. and i have bosses who never say good job or thank you and who have set me up to fail by throwing a department on me that i was not#hired to run or trained for and frankly don't have time to run properly either. so every week just starts w me in our weekly meeting being a#fucking piñata like 'why didn't you get this done 🤨 you need to manage your time better 🤨 you're losing sales 🤨' and i'm like i'm trying!!!!#what more can i do!!!!!! and then the side of it i actually kind of enjoy (which is what i was originally hired to do) is very very hard on#my body bc it's a very physical job (i run the team that unloads the trucks every day and like i'm usually helping unload bc i'm not just#gonna stand there and watch while my team busts their asses lol) and now i'm finding out that it's actually not normal to wake up every day#w your joints screaming and stiff and that i might have a chronic condition (doctor is thinking some sort of chronic inflammatory arthritis#but i won't know if my imaging and blood tests showed anything until like mid-june) and i'm like. so even the part of my job that i don't#mind as much is not good bc it's like actively destroying my body. okay sick 🤠 and i don't wanna quit bc i've only been there for like#eight months and this job would be really valuable on a resume but i don't want it to look like i'm a job hopper or like i'm fickle or#unreliable. so i'm stuck here for a while i think. but the pressure is destroying me mentally and i know i need to find a position somewhere#else that is 1. not fucking goddamn retail bc retail will always be hell and 2. not management bc i don't see myself ever really getting#into upper management but lower/middle management gets shit on the most so if i go somewhere else and end up in middle management i'll be#right back to wanting to kill myself in a matter of months. basically i'm tired of expectations and pressure and stress and i'm tired of#waking up at fucking 2:30 every morning just to go in and get shit on and destroy my body all over something that in the end i do not fuckin#care about. i need to make art and be held accountable by only myself. idk i've been toying w the idea of learning how to tattoo and trying#to start establishing some artistic skill so maybe eventually i can do that? not now bc the economy sucks and that's scary lol and anyway i#have to give myself some time to actually learn the skill and perfect a style. but it makes decent money (at least before the expense of#supplies and taxes) and allows you to travel and still work and also it would be fun. and i could tattoo myself so it would cut some#expenses for me since i cannot stay away from the damn needle. idk lol i need to save some money before i buy a tattoo gun or anything but#i'm considering it bc i am going fucking crazy rn and ik this feeling will leave me eventually but i also know it will come back bc it#always does. and i'm tired of just surviving and just making it through every day and every week like i want to be happy and this is just#not doing it for me anymore#ugh fuck why couldn't i have been born w a brain that likes numbers and code and technology. i love being an artist but it makes finding a#sustainable career really difficult bc i feel so restless and miserable when i'm stuck in a passionless job but my passions are not#particularly profitable. hate it here why wasn't i born a capybara no job no responsibility just squint and squeak and sun
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this meme is fuckin wrong and none of you fact checked it yourself. shout out homies in the replies who know how to use a search engine.
#you’re a goddamn idiot if you don’t run this through a search engine#in the year of our lord 2024 what the fuck#i think coverage has been BAD at most of these outlets and YEAH they could be doing a lot more#but what the fuck op are you serious are you even trying#this kind of sentiment contributed#to the overall decline in media trust#which is NOT GOOD??????#people need to question the news and read multiple outlets to get a breadth of understanding but#this just fucking implies that ‘THE BIG ONES ARE LYING TO YOU’ which isn’t helpful AT ALL dude#jesus fucking christ#journalists get devalued on this goddamn site every day and i hate it#if you’re going to be an informed leftist do it fucking right
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venting sorry... don't want to just delete it bc it helps to get it out just ignore this post pls 👍
haven't slept much at all and feeling so sick andstressed and in pain bc my period is due and so tired its making me dizzy but i cant sleep more or ill just feel more sick and I want a hug and to cry so hard into someones shoulder but no one cares or will even come near me it makes me feel diseased they think things about me that aren't true bc I struggle so much to communicate and thry all make assumptions insteqd and no one wants to give me space to talk to them about it so I cant undo that now and its all my fault and I'm so. exhausted :-(
#going to try and stay awake until lunch at least and yhen maybe ill take a nap. but i need to be able to sleep rpoperly tonight#at least i know im only feeling depressed bc my period is due which means my meds dont work how they should#like its kind of weird n psychologically interesting to feel so depressed again suddenly bc i havent been at all lately#well theres not much i can do abt feeling sick and in pain but ill take it easy. wasnt planning on leaving the house today anyway#and i do need to find a way to talk to ppl abt shit im struggling to communicate bc it really does bother me. and i dont want to do this#im tired of keeping everything in and wound so tightly i just want to feel seen and safe around someone please. please 🥹#its all well n good getting along with people better than i rver havebut if they still wont support me when im going through it#then it fades into shallowness like our friendship still has value. but im unable to feel close to them or safe around them#and right now im glad im doing so well im glad of so manynthings but its so scary to know that if i start doing bad again there is#noone and nothing there to catch me i dont have anything in the way of a safety net just myself. so better not fall 👍#and irs been makinf me feel so horrible lately bc my mum has been trying to emotionally drpend on me again and its making me feel like#when i was a teenager again and i was fighting for my fucking life against what i didnt know was mental illness and i had no outlet and#nowhere to go and i wanted to die so badly and meanwhile everyone around me was completely unaware and making me handle all of their#emotional issues and i was trapped there absorbing everyone elses damage and not being able to express mine and thankfully i didnt kill#myself and i got out and ive gotten so much bettee and worse and better sinxe and how i feel now is nothing like that really but im just#being reminded of it a lot and how hard expressing myself is and sometimes it feels like ive made so little progress#in thetorture labyrinth out here. but i dont want to do this forever i need to get better at expressing i just need people to support me#but i feel unsupported its like thin ice. but its alsonmy fault for not trusting. i dontnknowwwww.#maybe when i dont have to pay for private meds anymore and when i get this raise at the end of the year ill try therapy again#i dont think itll solve the issue bc its the ppl i care abt in my life that i need to be able to talk to. but maybe i can get some#better tools to help me be able to do that. i dontnknow i dont want to think about it anymore actually im going to go do smth else#sorry for venting its been a really nice weekend genuinely feeljng so good in general atm. and yeah i still struggle with the same things#but generally ive been handling their effect on my mental health so much better!!!! like im still feeling okay regardless of them#but they are still there and i will need to go from tolerating them to dissolvjng them at some point if i want to feel okay long term#it doesnt have to be like this. and i do actually truly believe that for once which rly is a sign of how much prpgress ive made!!!!#working on my shit is a fucking lifelong project....as im sure it is for everyone else too. all of our first time on planet earth#we will get through yhis. and anyway how i feel now is super temporary jsut triggered by a few thingsand ill keep reacting to them this#way until i managr to properly resolve them properly instead of folding them nicely and tucking them out of view#bleugh. okay yeah thats enough for now. meds softening the edges too ive stopped crying which is smth#chilling for a bit n then im going to watch some tv or a movie and iron and polish my boots and after lunch i might draw. or not we'll see
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I've been reading some stuff on punitive justice, and it made something click for me that I've observed a lot online but haven't been able to put into words before.
When someone does something wrong, that's bad, and the damage it does needs to be repaired while the person needs to try to do better in future to minimize repeating harm. We learn it in preschool - say sorry, don't do it again. If they keep at it, remove them from the situation where they can do the harm until they prove they're responsible enough to go back in.
So if it turns out someone DIDN'T do anything wrong, that should be a relief! There's no damage to fix, no internal errors to correct. Less work for everybody, literally no harm done. False alarm, all good.
The thing I've observed is, lots of people want them to have done something wrong. There's almost disappointment when it turns out there's no harm done. And I think that's because of this general undercurrent of punitive justice as morally righteous and desirable: someone does something wrong, you get to punish them. Turns out they're innocent? That's disappointing. Find another reason you get to punish them, or find another bad person you get to punish. But at the core of it is that desire to punish someone. Someone you can hurt in a way that makes you a better person for hurting them.
This particular brand of almost cannibalistic pseudo-justice is super common in tumblr, one of the most ostensibly liberal spaces on the internet; I see more borderline savagery in online discourse here than in the actually toxic parts of the internet that are just openly cruel for cruelty's sake. It's always thrown me for a loop, and has frankly also hurt me, because on the rare occasions I get personally dogpiled, it only actually stings when it makes me worry that I've legitimately hurt someone. If I did something wrong, or more realistically when I inevitably do something wrong, that would make it good and right for people to give me shit about it every day until I'm dead.
The thing that clicked for me most recently was this bit in Ijeoma Oluo's Be A Revolution:
Punitive justice is specifically, uniquely appealing to people who have suffered injustices. Of course it's the Tumblr zeitgeist. Everyone here is a marginalized person failed by at least one system. Punishing someone for perceived injustice is how someone the system has deemed worthless proves their value in blood, even if the person being punished hasn't harmed you directly - even if they haven't harmed anyone. "Righteous" anger isn't about the target in these cases, it's about the inflicter. This is how much my pain is worth.
And that kind of violent validation is so alluring and so very dangerous. It seeks an outlet, wearing the justification of justice. Who's in reach? Who's an acceptable target this week? What's a good reason to use?
Is there anything they could do that would make me stop?
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Me: decides it’s bedtime, because I’m tired
My body: haha nope. It’s panic attack time
#just once I’d like to get ready for bed and go to sleep without having a panic attack first#I mean I think I deserve at least one nice relaxing peaceful night#right?#the worst part is I can’t get rid of the root cause so they’ve been tormenting me nightly since I was little#there is no medication for it#I have considered hypnotism or something like my great aunt did for a while and she said it really helped her but that scares me#with all my stress and anxiety-financially related or otherwise- and not having a healthy outlet for stress release#I’m kind of just stuck suffering#I would go outside and scream in the direction of the stupid woman’s’ house but either her or the others would probably call the cops on me#I’m just tired of crying or getting mad#I need a different way of releasing all my stress
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"I don't think I could have the relationship with you that you have with me," she said. She was very casual about it, and I was immediately on the defensive.
"What do you mean by that?" I asked.
She put the book she'd been reading down. "It's just, the way you've described it, and the vibe that I get, I don't think I could do it how you do it."
"I still don't know what that means," I said.
"You're always doing this like ... micro calculation thing," she said. "You weigh your words. You try to time things. You have never once called me up while I was at work, or asked me for something when it was inconvenient for me, and you check and double check that you're not being a nuisance."
"And ... that's bad?" I asked.
"No, I love that about you," she said. "It's very kind and considerate. I know that if I tell you I'm not in the mood to hang out, you'll apologize and not push it. If you suggest that we get pizza and I say I'd rather have Korean BBQ, you fold instantly and we get Korean BBQ. I like that. I get the things I want. But it seems like an exhausting way to deal with people."
"I want you to be happy," I said with a small voice.
"I am happy," she replied. "You're great. You remember when we first got together I was like 'hey, look, if you want pizza, we can get pizza, it's just not what I'm in the mood for', and you kept insisting that you didn't care, that you would rather have me follow my needs? And I just thought, 'you know, maybe I should just trust that's what they actually feel'. And it is, as far as I can tell. There's not some secret part of you that wants me to break your way."
"You think I'm ... a simpering coward?" I asked. Even as I said it, it felt too accusatory, the wrong thing to say in the situation.
"Whoa, no, not at all," she laughed. "I think you do all that stuff because ... I don't know, you want to? Because otherwise why would you do it? It's how you are with every aspect of your life, you're a tryhard. I mean you said to me that you wanted to reclaim the term. Your relationship with me is that you're a tryhard (affectionate)."
"And you're ... not?" I asked.
"I'm not that way with anyone," she replied. "You know why I hang out with you so much? It's 'cause I like you. Most days, I am very much in the mood for you, and if you ask for a meetup, I'll say yes, and if you don't ask for one, then I'll ask you first. And for you ..."
"What?" I asked.
"It's like ... you're keeping track," she said. "You want to make sure that you're not sending me more messages than I'm sending you. You're balancing social micro stuff that I don't pay attention to. You're consciously monitoring how much each of us has said and making sure it's the right number of words or whatever."
"It's really not about the number of words," I replied. "It's more ... making sure that social and emotional labor is equitable, that there's a good rhythm to the conversation. I don't think you'd get good results by tracking word count."
"But see, I don't do any of that," she said. "I talk because I feel like talking. I listen when you need to vent because I like you and it feels good to give you an outlet. I mean you are undoubtedly putting in a bunch of work, and for me, there's no work. That's all I meant, really."
"You've thought about it," I said.
"Oh, I'm just reading this book, and there are two characters like us in it, and I was like 'yes, exactly', and then 'that would not work for me'." She shrugged.
"And if I stopped 'putting in the work'?" I asked. "Would we still be ... friends?"
"See, I don't know," she said. "Because that's never who you've been. You're asking me if I would still be friends with you if you changed your personality and how we interact with each other. Maybe? Probably? Who knows? Maybe we'd be better friends somehow. Maybe we're just two basically compatible people, and every time you've ever worried about anything it would actually have been completely fine."
"Or maybe it's load-bearing," I said.
"Maybe!" she replied with a smile that slowly faded. "You okay?"
"I'm thinking," I said. I didn't know if I could verbalize what I was thinking in a way that would be palatable.
"Do you not like being this way with me?" she asked. "Because I have never asked you to. I've made my preferences known, but if you've been bending yourself into knots and feeling a burden, then ..."
"No," I said, because I knew it was what she wanted to hear. "No, I like the way things are between us."
"Good," she smiled. "I do too."
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Oooohh i have a request!:
Playing “never have i ever” or something like that with logan and wade (maybe along the lines of a boring friday night with nothing else to do) and you admit to never having an orgasm by anyone but yourself
Flash forward you’re in logan’s arms and wade is eating the fuck out of your pussy, and then they switch 👀👀
i’ve written something similar two the second part here, but i love the never have i ever idea! // divider from @strangergraphics
boredom isn’t something heroes are used to. there’s always something happening somewhere, someone needing to be saved. but tonight, everything is quiet. the three of you were suspicious at first, but you checked every police scanner, news outlet, and all of your contacts and came up with nothing. the bad guys had decided to take an evening off, and now you were stuck with nothing to do.
you, wade, and logan all sit around in the living room with bottles of beer. you and wade stare at the mindless gameshow on tv while logan rests his eyes. you’re definitely bored, but wade is restless. it’s like he’s itching for something to do, like his body is physically unable to handle the inactivity.
“why don’t we play a game?” wade asks, startling logan awake.
the two of you look over at wade. “what kind of game?” you ask.
“i don’t know, ‘never have i ever?’”
logan rolls his eyes, then shuts them again. he’ll deny any “old man” comments, but he really is one. you elbow logan in the side and he opens them again.
“come on, it’ll be fun,” wade pleads.
“it’s not like we have anything better to do,” you say to logan. reluctantly, he agrees.
you reposition yourselves in the living room. you sit on the couch, leaned against the arm with your feet in logan’s lap, who sits on the other end. wade sits on the floor by the coffee table, his beer on the table without a coaster next to him.
“this is your game, wilson. you start,” logan says before taking a sip of his beer.
“no, don’t drink! you only drink if you’ve done the thing i say,” wade scoffs. how can logan be so old and still know nothing about fun? “okay, okay. never have i ever… gotten arrested.”
you furrow your eyebrows at him while logan takes a drink. you’re almost certainly wade has been arrested before. “i don’t think you’re playing this game right,” you say. “you have to say things you’ve never done.”
wade scoffs. “i haven’t been arrested, thank you very much. all the cops who’ve tried have mysteriously ended up with broken noses.”
you roll your eyes at him. “my turn now? never have i ever… cheated on a partner.”
both of them take drinks, wade with more shame than logan. ugh, men.
then it’s logan’s turn. “never have i ever worn a dress.”
you figure it’s targeted at you, just because logan’s a dick, but to your surprise, wade drinks too. logan raises his eyebrow at him, silently urging him to elaborate.
“you wish you saw that, huh, peanut?” he taunts instead. logan makes a face at that.
“i’m thankin’ god i didn’t have to.”
you play a couple more rounds, all three of you exchanging stories and sipping from your bottles. it takes a lot to get them drunk, but you’re starting to feel it. there’s a collection of empty bottles, mostly beer, but halfway through the game, wade decided to up the ante with some liquor.
it’s wade’s turn again and he says, “never have i ever been with two guys at once.”
he means it as a joke. he doesn’t expect anyone to drink. there’s no way logan would do something like that, and you’re too innocent. that’s why his eyes practically pop out of his head when you throw back the shot.
the game turned sexual a few rounds ago, but it was pretty mild stuff. talk about doing stuff in public, kinks, freaky shit like that. nothing as interesting as this.
both wade and logan turn their full attention to you, eager to hear this story.
“what?” you play dumb.
“two guys at once?” wade asks. you shrug.
“it wasn’t anything.”
“nah,” logan says, sounding interested for the first time all game. “you gotta tell us.”
you sigh. “it was a while ago. i met this couple at a bar and they said they were looking for a third. i had nothing better to do and they were both hot, so…” you trail off, shrugging again.
“give us the gory details. how’d you do it? daisy chain?eiffel tower? double cowgirl? triple spooning? come on, tell us,” wade rambles.
“you’re a fucking perv,” you tell him and he doesn’t deny it. “it was just normal dp.”
logan raises an eyebow. “that stands for double penetration,” wade tells him.
“i know that. i’m just wondering how you took it all,” logan says.
you’re used to this kind of talk from wade. the man thinks with his dick so much that you question if he even has a brain. you’re not, however, used to this from logan. he’s no prude, but he usually doesn’t participate in these kinds of conversations with wade.
“must’ve been a tight fit,” logan adds on.
you look between the men and their interested faces. you’re still pretty bored, the game having grown stale a while ago, and now you’re a tipsy. you want something exciting and right now, you’re feeling bold enough to persue it.
“do you wanna see?” you ask them.
wade and logan share a glance, but it only takes a second before they’re replying “yes” in unison.
#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#wade wilson#wade wilson x reader#wolverine x reader#wolverine#deadpool#deadpool x reader#wade wilson smut#wade wilson fanfic#wade wilson fanfiction#logan howlett smut#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett fanfic#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine smut#wolverine fanfic#wolverine x deadpool#deadpool fanfic#deadpool fanfiction#deadpool smut#deadpool x wolverine#deadpool & wolverine#deadpool x reader x wolverine
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People in fandoms* associated with Neil Gaiman are not showing each other the grace they should be in a stressful time, and I would like to remind people of some things:
Not everybody knows about the allegations because it is not being reported widely in mainstream media. Gaiman has engaged a PR/crisis management firm that has done work with Marilyn Manson, Russell Brand, and Danny Masterson to actively squash coverage.
The story broke on a site unfamiliar to a lot of non-UK people. There was confusion as well as outright misinformation about whether the site was a TERF outlet (it is not). While Rachel Johnson, the lead reporter on the story, is a TERF who has publicly clashed with Gaiman about trans rights, she has behaved responsibly and ethically as a journalist regarding this. I wrote more in depth about these things here.
Everybody deals differently with finding out creators are problematic. The method you prefer is not the only correct way of coping. Some people are able to divorce art from the creator and some people are not. This is an attitude that can change over time. And if you feel like you need to express frustration that somebody else's method isn't the same as yours? I would recommend shutting your fucking trap.
If people know about the allegations, it's shitty to assume they're ignoring them or think they're false until somebody explicitly says so. There are many things people don't say online, and you are not owed disclaimers or explanations.
Fandom is more than the work itself. Some people find strength in the community that has formed around it, and rely on each other to help cope with and grieve this loss. The love you have for the work and your fellow fans is not something that belongs to the creator. It never has and that can't be taken away.
Your personal relationship with a creator's work will change over time. That's inevitable regardless of whether they turn out to be problematic or not. And when those works are deeply significant and formative, like many of Gaiman's works are to me** and countless others? That's fucking tough. Be kind to yourself and others when working through this. I love you all.
--
* I have seen this in Good Omens most prominently, although I am sure there are other places where it is happening as well.
** I have been a fan of Gaiman's work longer than some of you have been alive. It has not been a great month or so.
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Guys I loved writing the first short n sweet inspo fic so here’s more bc that ovulation album is too good <3
WHERE ART THOU ? WHY NOT UPONETH ME ?
౨ৎ Summary: your hosting a slumber party at Art’s mansion. But you can’t quite stay away from your pull to get the man in a room where there are no others. Inspo from Bed Chem by Sabrina Carpenter 🤍
+ 18 | very much smut !, unprotected sex, age gap, (reader early 20’s) dilf!Art, size kink, first daddy kink fic (omg) semi-public sex, oral (f) reviving, pet names, this made me feel a bit slutty just writing it, needy!reader, fatherly Art ;)
A/N: the fucking edits on tiktok of Mike to Bed Chem are making me go insane ! just when I thought there was no possible way for me to be crazier over this man omfg. So I had to give the girls a fic to go w it ofc <3
It was like fate. The day you met him.
Nothing could of been more perfect when the stars aligned to bring you to accompany your solid group of trust fund friends to one of his tournaments that evening. You were like most girls your age, makeup, pop music, nice ornaments for your wardrobe — you weren’t the kind of girl that could say she knew much about sports, and certainly little to nothing to be caught landing a seat at the us open... but eventually that grew to be a substantial part of what found him to be so drawn to you.
It was that day when you’d been in the bleachers watching the blonde play like it was his life’s greatest prophecy. For the first time in your still too little years of living, you’d never felt that aroused by a man you’d only saw from the mere view of him hitting a ball with a racket.
But he was unearthly.
Built like how men used to be. Face like it came straight from heaven. Serve like he knew a thing or two in bed.
You were drunk on want, need for him. You were damn lucky your friends were loaded enough to go to all the after parties with most of the star athletes. It was insane to you that you would follow the vip and your most sports driven friends (enthusiast if you will.) to where the elites spend their time. You wanted a nice hang out. Good food. Expensive drinks. But it was between you and the universe that you’d leave with so much more.
You were in a sheer dress and kitten heels when he spotted you. Just his star studded sly smile from across the event hall, when he saw you and your friends conversing in mostly a pretentious manner like most kids your age did when they could afford the lifestyle most people only dreamed of. But not you, you were entranced, pulled away. By his wide, blue eyes that you assumed filled with the same yearn you’d been struck with. And to your quick manifest, Art was gazing right back at you.
Only sharing a couple brief exchanges with the tall and stature, modest but kindly — beautiful and magnetic man around mutual friends, before you’d both been rushed to leave. Him with his team, and you with your entourage.
Like that you were tied to the tennis star in the blink of a moment. And Soon enough — being photographed with him around the heat of the city.
Games, athlete dinner parties, press events. Even photos of you two sharing more than a couple of words, maybe even kisses, behind menus at glamorous rooftop restaurants. Magazine outlets went crazy through the roof in just a few weeks time. Milking whatever they could out of Art Donaldson and his controversially younger girlfriend.
They didn’t have enough tabs on what you two had officially been to one another and that was perfect for the two of you. Because now that time has pushed you and the blonde closer and more into each other — you’d spend days and nights locked away with Art in his new found mansion post his former divorce. Home so beautifully articulated and big enough for you to be extra generous with your time with the dream boat of a man.
It would go down in history what the two of you had done in every room.
Now, a gorgeous weekend ahead of you after your week that was always filled with Art treating you to the finest cooked dinners, at home date nights filled with breezy smiles and full closeness to balance your dates out on the town. Going wherever you felt just to hold hands under umbrellas and traffic lights. With all the new adorned love in your life, and man with too much mystic taking up your time, it had been a good minute since you saw your girlfriends, caught up or shared a drink. You were just so wound up in Art and the way he treated you like a princess to, and in your own world.
So you’d asked Art if you could host a sweet little sleepover for you and your girls at the mansion — and of course he complied. It was anything for his perfect girl since the beginning.
“I could ask the chef to whip up some,” Art spoke into you as he held your hips in his vast hands running carefully over the hem of your satin bottoms as you stood in the middle of the spacious kitchen with him.
“That’s okay, I wanna do it.” You laughed softly, as you stared up at the man. “Nothing says fun girls night like making our own home made friandises”
Art had tilted his head in slight confusion with eyes in question to your tone when you’d practice what you’d been learning in your French courses on him. It was all the most adorable to you really. Your laugh echoed.
“Treats, baby.”
“I- - I knew that,” He scoffed and your giggles were infectious with delight to him.
“It’s gonna be fun. We’ll watch movies, paint our nails, share snacking tips. It’s been so long since I’ve seen the girls.”
Art grinned at the way you lit up with excitement, and his icy eyes looked down at your figure below him. He tried not to bite down on his lip at the way you were in the pajamas usually he only saw you in. Pink lace two piece jammies. Completely recognized because he got them for you. The transparency to them was way too easy on the eyes.
Arts tongue darted out to wet his lips before he questioned, “Is that what you’re wearing ? There aren’t gonna be any boys.. right ?”
“No, silly. That of course counts out you — if.. you wanna join us.” You looked up at him through your lightly mascara coated lashes, it felt as if the flirtatiousness through your gaze just hooked Art by the belt.
“No, no. I’ll give you and your friends your space, doll.” The blonde gave you a chary little smile, “I really doubt they’d want an old man around while you’re trying to have fun.”
“Quit it ! You’re not old. And they adore you.” You stood on the tips of your toes, Art met you so you could leave a sweet kiss on his cheek, with a blush to your own.
“Thank’s for letting me have this little party, baby.”
“Course, what else would be better use for all this space ? Other than for the amusement of twenty something girls.”
Art chuckled and you surely were in agreement, because when your girlfriends did arrive it was immediately shrieks of girlish camaraderie and chatter of awe as you brought them around the place of posh and eloquent nature. Your laugh could of been heard from the other side of the place where Art had eventually been stored away for the night while your hands were knee deep in cookie dough and rainbow sprinkles. Pj sets all from the brands you and your friends never stopped talking about. Having your night filled with reruns of classic movies to sipping champagne.. and the wine, red, (your pick) was certainly slipping through you as the moments went on.
You’d been with your best friend when you two had a moment alone to catch up in one of the halls of the buoyant abode. Whispers and giggles coming from between the two of you as a glass of wine hung from your palm.
“God, he was a such a cutie.” She coo’d as you two had found a very special wall of framed photos of Art from back in his prime tennis days. The blonde around your age who seemed filled with joyfully energetic faces and awards from across the globe. A smile woke upon your face as you folded your arm to admire the man you’d now call your own.
“Sometimes I wish I’d known him then,” you simpered. “But I’m beyond lucky now. Because he’s still cute, and sexier.”
You tittered fondly and your friend laughed with you as she playfully tugged on your shoulder. “You gotta lock that down, y’know… you’ll be like- - hella famous just from being a world class tennis superstars hot young wife.”
She announced as she sipped on something burgundy and you thought with a heightened grin. She couldn’t have been farther from right. And as the months go by you would fall farther and farther head over heels for Art every day. You’d be his wife in an instant. That was the dream after all, and you could certainly say you’d been living one.
“I guess I’ll just have to wait for him to put a ring on it..” You smiled with a dazed shrug as you embarked your wine glass to your lips again.
“He better.” Your friend chirped with a proud glint and you couldn’t help but stay stuck in your thought of your boyfriend who’s been just a few rooms away for the past couple of hours while you’d been enjoying all the perks of your girls making the most of their time with you. But you couldn’t help but want Art to be nearby now, and the red wine in your system maybe hit more than just your head — you couldn’t even try to fight it.
You missed your man.
So after you’d take in a few more drinks and a bit sensually themed games with your friends, you’d made your attempt escape off to find Art. Slipping away from the girls was easy when you’d have every necessity needed to execute a very graceful grown up girl sleepover provided for them.
You’d been walking down the hall heading to where his office and master bedroom would be at the end of the home, and as you passed by the lush kitchen area, to your surprise, there he was. Muscles looked enchantingly delicious in this light as they flexed to pull on the fridge handle and when he turned, his eye line met your glance staring back his way (of course you’d both arrive at the same time.) Arts lips began to curl in an amours grin when he saw your petite figure making it’s way over to him with the same like of smile across your face.
“Hi, baby. You having fun?” He glanced down at you through his blonde lashes to meet your nod, only following up with a soft titter as you stepped closer to the man. He almost immediately picked up on the lust laced within your eye and the way you slightly leaned onto the fridge door with your aura basically gooing with sex at him now. The blonde had an eyebrow furrowed as he chuckled just a bit and he sized you up.
“Are you drunk, princess?”
“No. No… no,” you shook your head.
It had been true. You weren’t drunk. But a little wine tipsy and horny ? Definitely.
Art hummed and put the back of his hand to your forehead gently as he observed your state. “Did you eat?”
“Mhm, did you ?”
“No. That’s why I came down, not to stalk you. I promise.” The man laughed, to which you did as well and you only raised your arms so they could embrace your boyfriend’s shoulders with a soft hum.
“Y’know, if you’re hungry, you can eat me.” Your finger tips grace Arts neck unashamed as you smile into the crook, and he took in a breath, proceeding to hold you close.
“Oh- -” his chuckle matched your giggle as he noticed you’d changed again. His hands were gliding up the ruffle of the even more transparent sheer cover on you’d been dressed in. Lime tinted. The shorts were near pantie like.
“Mmm, I miss you, I want you.” You peppered kisses as close as you could to his earlobe from your height and Arts breath hitched as he was weak to your slow but enticing touch to him. Fogging up his knowledge that you’d been right in the middle of the open kitchen that was just a few ways down from the living area your friends had been in.
“Here, sweetness ? Your friends- -” Art murmurs down to your ear, but you just locked your arms just above his shoulders without a care.
“And- - ? What about them ? I need you,” you whined. “I want your touch.”
“Yeah? You want me to touch you?”
You nodded again with a naughty giggle and the blonde was smirking now, his hands roamed your body. Large and groping your curves. As much as he knew what was rightful, Art just couldn’t deny your cling to him in that damn near lingerie that had him going almost unbearably hard beneath his jeans since you walked in. Feral even. It was beginning to get miserable as you pressed your dainty chest against his, he felt your nipples grow hard and sensitive against the cloth. So into his aroma, presence, like you were a moth to a torch.
He’d fallen into your pecks merging with his now. Kissing you against where the cupboards stand like your lips were candy. Your small legs stumbling as the man towered over you “Fuck, you look amazing in that set.” Art pulled away from your plump lips to view your gorgeously perfect body. You batted your lashes once. And his attain just couldn’t be stopped. Art slid his hands across your soft ass cheeks, massaging and kneading it in his palms before leading up to laying a solid smack which made you hiss out an excited squeal-like giggle. Your fingertips slid down his ample biceps brushed with virile bristles of hair.
“If I had known you’d like this set so much, I would of worn it much sooner for you.”
Art leaned into you and he held a sly smirk, “this was your plan all along, yeah? Wearing that to get my attention so I would come out here and fuck you in the middle of your slumber party.. you’re such a naughty girl.”
You only giggled more into his skin with a slow exhale, your freshly painted french tips exploring him as he explored you. Art took his sweet time just feeling the way your ass jiggled in his palms and you felt like you’d been going weak in the knees before his tender contact turned rough when he turned you around without warning, making you gasp.
Art made sure you could feel how hard you’d gotten him as he pressed himself to your core. Facing the counter, you lost yourself in complete bliss just to the feeling of not knowing where he’d pleasure you next — Arts restrained bulge against your clothed cunt was just something else. The blonde pushed up your sheer top just a bit and pressed a kiss to your shoulder, you made a soft noise with it.
“Feel what you do to me, pretty girl.” Art nibbled on your earlobe and you sunk your teeth into your bottom lip to subtle your smile. His hands bracing your hips as he stared down at your lacy panties and your minx-like eyes followed Arts famished expression while he licked his bottom lip.
“All yours, daddy.” Your sweet voice immediately made Art go nearly lightheaded and that was it. He melted.
The man tucked both his thumbs into the fabric and pulled your panties down clean with raucousness, followed up with him getting down on his knees before spreading you with his palms and your hands reached for the marble with a soft whimper.
“That’a girl, stay open for me.. Let me taste you.” Art huffed out before he pushed one of your legs up on the counter and you breathed out at the feeling of him making your body his toy for amusement. Art took his fingers and ran them up your folds, getting them wet with the slick of your pussy. Your cheeks started to heat up just at the wonderful pad of his index running against your core like that , making you let out a soft, “oh..” by the way he moved to rub around your clit. Arts lips kissed on your exposed inner thighs, and your jaw became unlocked extraordinarily far when his tongue finally rolled on the soft tissue.
He was splitting you clean open on the counter as tiny whimpers escaped your throat. You were lost in the draw you had to the man making you feel surpassing of even the way you played it all out in your head. “Mmm, yeah- - yes” you panted and the man flicked his digit over your bud at the same time he’d been making out with your cunt. Letting deep groans flow throughout your opening. You’d been on the tip of your toes for him. Letting him suck where you pulsed till you’d been overstimulated if he wanted.
Your head had been spinning from the friction of his perfectly sculpted nose rubbing against your sensitive area. Art was known to be gifted with his mouth so much so, you almost wondered if your friends would have heard if you just couldn’t keep your moans level — but with the way Art held your hips, fucked his tongue into your cunt like you’d been his last meal, your anxiousness washed away. All you could do was let the shake of your thighs and Arts dripping oral member lead you to a crisp pleasurable cry.
“Shit,” Art took a brief exhale as he pulled away from your entrance, dampened lips of your juices going wide with a grin and he ran his palms over your slick thighs again,
“you’re so fucking wet for me, princess. You gonna take my dick? Let me make you feel good?”
“Mmm, please. Fill me up, Art. I wanna feel you.”
“You gotta be quite for me, baby.” Art stood to his feet.
You didn’t care. All you could think about was dick. Arts phenomenal dick. You wanted him to toss you over and split you open till you were sobbing on his thick member, your wine drunk friends would understand. A girl has her needs.
The risk made your blood pressure rise as the moment went on, when Art reached over you to tug your panties dangling from your thighs all the way down — he kicked them off to the side. Taking note of his own belt buckle and undoing it quickly, which you only grew more greedy by the sound of him unzipping his fly. The blondes aquamarine orbs swam with the need to pump you fuller than you’d ever taken him.
“Bend over for me, sweet girl..” Art breathed out softly as his slightly calloused hands ran from your hip up your spine while you did so, bending over fully and displaying your sweet dripping cunt for the mans lidded eyes. He sucked in his breath and his now aroused dick twitched when it unveiled from his boxers — going barmy with just how tiny and soft you looked beyond him.
“So fucking tight and small- - your amazing with the way you take me when I barely fit in, sweets.”
You bit down on your finger as you watched Art run his hands over your ass. Take your hips and line his cock up with your hole. He hissed at the way your soaking cunt wet his tip, you almost croaked out a deep moan at his gestures to tease your pussy. Just nodding along as you’d gone cock drunk before he’d even been in you. Your nails run at the marble counter as Art slowly burrowed into your drooling core. Working you open as his cock disappeared into your body inch by inch — he pushed your thigh higher onto the ledge as you whined at the stretch.
“Ah.. mmm- - fuck, fuck, fuck,” you groaned as you adjusted to the size of his warmth finally filling you full. Art was big. And he’d never want to put you, his sweet doll in discomfort for long, never. So when he started to plunge into you, he watched as your face scrunched up from ache to pleasure in time. His name sputtering from your mouth as you clawed at the counter top and he watched your pussy lips that were just throbbing around his erection like it was begging to be so sporadically fucked by him.
“That’s it baby doll,” his own groans heightened as his hips knock into your cervix, chasing that spot of yours till you were moaning and whimpering like a slut around him. Hole so full with yours and his pre-cum and you sucked in your bottom lip, tussled hair going wild on your back. You just had to look over your shoulder to watch him — see Arts gorgeous face as he snapped against you all shimmering with light sweat as he focused on the way a ring of your wetness pooled around his base.
“You love this, hu? Getting me to fuck you while your friends carry on without you- - At your party. But you just had to come.. looking for daddy’s cock, yeah? You love being a dirty, dirty girl for me.” Art rasped as he clenched his jaw with the overwhelming feeling of your tight cunt clenching him. It made your skin feel like it had been sparked with fire, so exhilarated. He put his hands in your hair to fuck into you as your jaw dangled open.
“Oh! F-fuck! I needed that big fucking dick, daddy… w-want you to cum all over me, mmm- -” you were choking out whimpers and your pretty little hole dripped with Arts pre-seed slipping from you, making it drag out when he pulled out of your pussy to turn you around and pick you up in one swift motion. Your high pitched gasp echoed as you wrapped your legs around the mans abdomen and Art set you on the counter. His lips curl up into a smirk and his eyes met your wide doe set ones. Slipping back into you he watched you cry out his name. Rutting into your heavenly body at this angle, hands go squeezing your thighs, and Art kept them apart as he took you at a wild pace. Hitting that gooey spot till you didn’t remember your own name. “Good fucking girl. That’s it- - such a sweet thing for me, taking all of my cock. It was made for you, doll.”
You couldn’t even catch your self as you’d leaned back on the counter and let Art pound into you. Your tits bounced with each thrust and you were shuttering as your orgasm ripped through you without warning. “Yes ! Ooh- - shit, yes yes yes…” you were whining out as you came on Arts dick. He held your legs spread as he grunted and watched you soak him uncontrollably. You loved it. Feeling like his perfect little gift. Art licked over his lips at the sight of your beauty, throwing your head back in bliss, he pulled out of you and pushed up your dainty little baby doll top — making space as he pumped his throbbing dick over your stomach till he himself came hard. Ropes shooting out on your candescent skin and making sure some got on your pussy just for the fun of it, he grinned and trailed his thumb up your gentle inner calf that had been dangling by his side.
You were whimpering like you’d gotten your brains fucked out to the sweetest soundtrack you’d ever heard. Art was so cinematic in moments like these, he leaned up to kiss at the nape of your neck, cheek, and lips.
“Pretty, perfect girl.. I love you.” Your gentleman muttered against your mouth. You smiled and sunk your teeth into your bottom lip as Art brought your panties up to help you slip them back over your thighs and to your feet as steady as you could. Dressing himself as well, he glanced down at you through his hooded eyes to see your impressively only slightly disheveled state. You were just always glowing, it was hard to make that go away anyways.
“You sleeping down here tonight?” Art buckled his pants again as he questioned you with a soft raised brow. You started to smirk at the way he was heading. You shrug.
“Maybe, maybe not… I’ll sneak into your room when they’re sleep, if you want.” You offered the man, the glint in your eye saying you’d suck his cock and let him have you in as many different positions as he’d like in a couple hours till you were all tapped out. The blonde only scuffed and towered over your presence that was still taken by your hoyden attitude, just to turn you back towards the doorway.
“Go host your party.” he taunted almost fatherly, to then leave a light slap on your ass that made you giggle on the way out.
#art donaldson#art donaldson x female reader#art donaldson smut#art donaldson x reader#dilf!art#challengers#challengers smut#x reader#challngers x reader#challengers fic#petite!reader#size k!nk#fanfiction#sabrina carpenter#short n sweet#bed chem#chlmtsdoll writes
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I really hope all of those ‘morally grey-ish’ vaguely ally vaguely homophobic straight vibes Highschool boys have a cool bisexual best friend to be there for them. cus u know they ain’t havin a good time in that head of theirs. like I’ll give you a hug and talk to you about it bc you might not be okay. yknow? like there’s smthn about that kind of guy that I worry about bc they never really seem super happy with themselves or with life or are alright no matter how much of the dark socially out there jokester type they are. and they never really seem to fully believe in the homophobic stuff at first but if nobody intervenes they’re good candidates to get suckered down the alt right pipeline but if they get queer stuff to see irl and queer people to interact with they’d get it yknow. like buddy do you wanna have a heart to heart because I will watch breakfast club with you and buy some snacks are you alright ??
#this is a post about a classmate of mine#who I worry about a little bit#because the things he says and does aren’t great but they aren’t truly malicious#and he seems to have no problem with and some decent awareness of ace and aro people and queer stuff#whilst having straight n phobic vibes and kind of a front of a personality like it’s a show he puts on#and I know who his friends are and idk I just feel like he might be kinda hurtin inside bc I’ve seen him say things and seen his demeanor#and his face#and a lot of it implies that maybe somebodies hurt him and he doesn’t have an outlet yknow#and I really wanna hug him or smthn bc he’s a good kid and a chill guy and I don’t see him ever really look like he gets reminded of that#I have no idea where this is coming from but you get it right??#dude I wanna be your friend !! cus you’re kinda cool and somebody needs to appreciate that and be there for you !!!#anyways#yeah
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I actually need a part two to Yandere sugar daddy or I will die
Yandere sugar daddy who loves to spoil his baby.
MDNI!
Tw. Yandere, power imbalance, isolation, captivity, NSFW themes
What do you want honey? A new pair of pretty shoes? A designer bag? A car that costs more than your left leg? He'll give it to you with a snap of his fingers.
Yandere sugar daddy who loves becoming your main source of income. You shouldn't have to trouble yourself with anything hard like boring paperwork or stupid board meetings. That's for him to worry about. No, the only thing you should be concerned about is spreading your legs and murmuring understanding words when he comes home from a stressful day at work.
And sure, you've been kind of whiny and bratty ever since he started to limit the time you spent outside, but can you blame him? Yandere sugar daddy hates even thinking about you wandering through the big scary world without him there to guide and protect you. You're supposed to be his responsibility, so don't go thinking you can just run around without his explicit permission.
Yandere sugar daddy who likes to hide little gifts for you around the penthouse. It's like a little game. He likes sending you messages randomly throughout the day. Go check the third drawer in the study. It's a good way to make sure you haven't snuck out on him, but he also just loves it when he finds you with a new pretty gem settled on the column of your throat.
Yandere Sugar daddy who takes you on crazy, all expenses paid for vacations to tropical islands, different cities, and dream destinations. You'll have the best hotels, best views, best wardrobe as long as you sit pretty and snuggled up to him while you're flying first class.
Yandere Sugar daddy who shuts down any kind of arguments you might have about silly things like 'Why can't I see my friends' or 'Where is my passport and my credit card?' He just hands you stacks of cash or his own cards and tells you to go wild. Don't worry about all of that. Just go to the shopping outlet with the security guards he hired to keep an eye on you and have lot's and lot's of fun spending his money.
Yandere Sugar daddy who finds a way to blacklist you from the industry you used to work in. No one in their right mind will give you a job even if you wanted one (Not that he intends to even let you think about living life away from him). He's never, ever going to let you have even the slightest chance of being independent.
Though, he's sure that he'll feel much better when he can finally slip a ring on your finger and make this little arrangement more official.
#my writing#yandere#yandere x reader#tw yandere#yandere male#x reader#yandere x you#answered asks#yandere sugar daddy
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