#i need my get my at least 2 hours of doom scrolling The Horrors before i give myself even a taste of salvation and peace

[t3r4t0m4]

offering my hand out very slowly going pspspsps and slow blinking trying to become mutuals with all the munch enjoyers

[crystalgirl259]

Guilty Pleasures Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Noah’s Ark

It would be over three thousand years before Zane met the strange demon known as Kai again. In those years the human race had grown at a rapid rate and had taken over pretty much the entire planet. Zane couldn't help but wonder if the human's sudden growth was always part of the plan or if the weapons he and Kai had gifted Adam and Eve had had a hand with it and aided in their expansion. Zane shuddered as he thought about the weapons from Heaven and Hell.

After he had sealed the Garden of Eden, the Almighty had only asked him once where the shurikens were and thankfully he managed to convince them that they were in the garden somewhere.

He had tried to find the two weapons in later years but it seemed that they had been lost to time. The angel was standing among a large crowd, watching as Noah finished building his ark. Noah's family had begun to lead the pairs of animals on board. While most of the crowd laughed and jeered at the man, Zane was just barely managing to keep the bile down, knowing what was coming. He wanted so desperately to warn the people, to tell them Noah was telling the truth and that they needed to find boats.

But at the same time, he knew that they wouldn't listen and that it was too late anyway.

Before they finished even a small boat the flood would come and wash them all away. As the angel wrestled with his thoughts, he suddenly felt someone tap him on the shoulder. He turned to see Kai standing beside him with a big grin on his face. The demon hadn't changed at all since Zane had last seen him. The only different thing was the brunette's missing wings that had been hidden, much like Zane's own wings.

"Hello, Zane." Kai greeted warmly and Zane wondered what had drawn the demon here.

"Kai," Zane replied awkwardly. He still didn't know how to properly interact with a demon, even if this one didn't come off as a threat right away.

"So, giving the mortals a flaming sword and icy shurikens, how do you think that worked out for us?" Kai asked with what Zane could swear was a mischievous purr.

"The Almighty has never actually mentioned it again." He replied, trying to keep his attention on the boat.

"Probably a good thing." He shrugged as he looked around at the crowd and back at the boat. "So what's all this about? Build a big boat and fill it with a traveling zoo?" He asked and Zane had took swallow the lump in his throat as he thought of a response.

"From what I hear, God's a bit tetchy and is wiping out the human race... with a big storm." He stammered, catching the demon off-guard.

"All of them?"

"Just the locals." Zane tried to smile, but it was so strained even Kai could see through it. "I don't believe the Almighty's upset with the Chinese, or the Native Americans, or the Australians."

"Yet."

"And God's not going to wipe out all the locals; I mean, Noah, up there, his family, and his sons, their wives, they're all going to be fine." He tried to reassure, but it had little to no effect on the brunette.

"But they're drowning everybody else?" He scoffed as he looked around at the crowd who were ignorant to their impending doom. His eyes widened when he saw a small group of kids running and playing in the crowd. "You can't kill children." He gasped in horror when Zane reluctantly nodded, snake eyes wide open. Not even a demon would kill a child. Why kill something when they wouldn't go to hell, anyway? Something that couldn't defend itself.

It wasn't logical.

It wasn't fair either, he thought. But only very quietly to himself. Zane had looked so helpless, but he hadn't agreed with the demon. At least he hadn't said it out loud. Although something had been in the angels' beautiful eyes. Kai liked to imagine that it was doubt. Still, he knew that having exactly that could be extremely dangerous. One doesn't simply doubt the great plan. Kai wanted to save the children. He did. The reason why he wanted to do that was far apart from any comprehension.

It couldn't be that wrong or right or whatever.

Only that way the children could grow old and be bad and ultimately go to hell, and that should be hells' only concern, anyway. He observed the Ark from every side. It was huge. Much bigger than a house, and much bigger than a dune, and much bigger than any animal climbing aboard. There should be more than enough space for everything and more. Also, the other unicorn was still missing. Kai wasn't too concerned, they still had the other one.

An idea started to form, as he observed the Ark.

There were a lot of animals and no one was paying as much attention to them as they should. A unicorn had already gotten away, anyway. Maybe, just maybe, this could also work the other way around. There should be enough space...

****************

Zane felt bad. He felt as bad as he never did before. He felt even too bad to listen to his conscience, which tried to tell him something. It couldn't be that important, though. The fresh air didn't make it better. The angel was the first one to discover seasickness. On the third evening, Zane sat outside between a flamingo and a gazelle and tried to keep the contents of his dinner where they belonged.

"Snowflake, are you ok?" Kai asked, suddenly standing between him and the flamingo. The flamingo watched him suspiciously with his head tilted.

"Oh, I'm fine," Zane answered bravely.

"Are you sure? The light makes you look a bit greenish." He said and the angel tried not to stare at the demon's long and probably soft hair in the wind and falling into his eyes.

"Maybe a bit tired." He said, clinging onto the railing.

"Tired?"

"Tired." He repeated. Kai had never seen an angel getting sick before. Maybe it was Gods' anger that made it that way. Maybe it was something entirely different. Either way, the demon was worried. It was a huge ark. There were near to no waves at all. Which meant, the floor was practically not shaking any bit. Zane glanced at him, help to seek. The angel sighed dramatically once more.

"I'll make you some ginger tea." The demon finally said.

"I'll feel miserable till the end of-"

"You'll be fine in two or three days, trust me." The demon assured him. Zane took a step forward, then let himself fall against the railing again and got even greener if possible. "What did you eat?" Kai asked as he took the angel carefully by the arm.

"Some tuna I think," Zane admitted reluctantly.

"Bad idea." He sighed as he shook his head. Zane flinched at the word bad. "Let's go inside, ok?" The demon suggested as he half carried him inside. His hands felt hot, but also his touch was strangely calming, and maybe just a little bit nice. "What do you usually do to calm yourself down, angel?" He asked reluctantly. This made the angel jump a bit. Then he looked to the ceiling with a pinch of guilt, as they slowly walked down the stairs and deeper into the Ark.

"I read or write something."

"You should stop that."

"I will do no such thing!" Zane cried as he ripped his arm away and a moment later he grabbed for Kai again because he almost fell over a big rat.

"I mean you should stop that as long as you feel bad." Kai chuckled lightly as he brought the angel back to his cabin which he shared with different breeds of pigeon and two friendly brown chickens.

"Will you read something for me? Please?" Zane asked as he snuggled into a blanket. Kai hesitated for a moment, but then he grabbed a scroll that was lying next to Zane's bed. How could he say no? The angel looked at him expectantly. The scroll was made of dried leaves and the tiny symbols looked like they were written with blood. Since the demon couldn't read, he had to improvise. He sat down next to the angel, not too close but not too far, opened the scroll from the wrong side, and began to tell a story.

Zane closed his eyes and smiled so sweetly that it made Kai almost forget how words work.

But he took a deep breath and continued his story bravely. Kai kept talking quietly over the singing of some budgies, the yawning tiger, the cheeping degu until Zane calmed down enough to not sleep but dream. After he had made sure that Zane was feeling better, the demon left him alone, although he desperately wanted to stay. But he had other things to do...

****************

Zane had rested for hours and was now refreshed. The angel felt much stronger, although still shaky. But now he was bored and he had been thinking about Kai for a while now. For some reason he couldn't explain, he just wanted to see him again. Preferably sooner than later.

"Kai? Where are you? Could you... Could you read me another story, please?" He shouted as loud as he dared, which wasn't very loud, as he approached the section where there were zebras, some apes, and a few butterflies. It was quite dark. Only a few candles lit this section. There he found Kai, but the demon didn't look pleased to see him.

"Wait a moment, Snowflake; don't come here." He said, sounding nervous.

"Is something wrong, my dear?" Zane asked and went there, anyway. Just then, a young girl that had been hiding in the shadows and he had almost walked into ran and hid behind Kai. He stared at a terrifying demon surrounded by small children, mouth agape. Two were holding his hands and one was sitting on his shoulders, badly braiding his long hair with tiny and probably not very clean fingers. In the background, they heard a hog making some unhappy sounds.

"What did you do?!" Zane almost hissed.

"I don't know what you are talking about," Kai said, trying to act innocent.

"I'm talking about the children! Where do they come from?"

"Oh.. hey... I haven't even noticed them."

"Kai." Zane scowled as he crossed his arms. He uncrossed them again, however, because he needed them for stability. He felt himself getting sick again. Was the floor getting shakier?

"You can't kill children." The demon finally said softly.

"WE CAN'T- can't keep them here." He insisted, trying to keep his tone down as the small girl sitting on Kai's shoulders started crying.

"What do you intend to do? Throw them overboard? Does the ineffable plan tell you to do that?" Kai snarled and for a moment their eyes were locked. Zane then sighed and fixed his gaze on the floorboards as the demon glared at him.

"What now, angel?"

"No, I don't –Do you even know how to take care of children?"

"Do you?" Kai asked sarcastically.

"No, I don't…"

"Me neither." The demon sighed. Zane watched the kids held Kai's hands and hid behind him. He quickly realized that they were afraid of the angel. After a moment of careful consideration, ha decided that he didn't want them to fear an angel. He was supposed to be the good one. "Do you think about snitching?" Kai asked, his voice sounded somehow hurt.

"No, I- I thought, that we both don't know how to take care of children, but maybe we could learn it together." He offered awkwardly. At first, the demon felt like he was petrified, but then he sighed.

"If you want to, yeah, whatever; you look for something to feed them and maybe a bit of clean water and Ava over there wants to see the unicorn so I'll go with her and show her if you keep an eye on the others for a while because I can't take all of them there because Amon over there is scared of horses and I don't know how he will react to a unicorn." He shrugged and Zane nodded. They had never taken care of living beings, before. Okay, not really.

But they learned quickly and all the children survived.

Kai in his snake form would curl around the children to keep them warm. Zane would cook something nutritious for them to eat. He would eat most of it, but they're also would be more than enough for the children. After that, they would talk. Tell stories on a stormy night to calm everyone down. Mostly the angel, because the shaking of the ark didn't make him feel good. Still, his stomach would get upset from time to time.

"I'm glad, you were there," Zane said one night quietly, as they watched over the children sleeping. Kai didn't answer. He picked up a beautiful feather of a parakeet and gently put it in Zane's hair.

"I gave the Mammoths' ration to the children; I mean... it's a huge animal, so it should be fine without one dinner." He said casually after a while. Then the angel wondered, when the last time was, that he fed the mammoths. It couldn't be this long ago. The Ark would have a little fewer passengers when it arrived than when it started sailing. But the children would all survive and grow to be adults. Raised by an angel and a demon, all of them got to be fundamentally human.

Lurking between the goats, there was a second demon which none of the other beings noticed.

Even then he had smelled bad, but to be completely honest, everywhere on the Ark it smelled pretty bad. Between lurking sessions, he enjoyed scaring the birds. There were a few penguins that he didn't like. One had bitten his hand when he tried to pet it. Therefore Morro made the penguin stop flying. All the other birds hated him for that. Sometimes he also scared some children. But weren't there more than there were supposed to be? One time he saw the demon Kai holding the hand of a small girl as she cried.

After a while, she stopped crying as he talked to her calmingly and fell asleep in Kai's arms.

This confused Morro. Why would he do that? This was the first time when Morro suspected something. He didn't like it. Something was going on, something fishy, and it wasn't the fish. He couldn't prove it though, not just yet. He didn't know how to yet. But he was lurking in the shadows, ready to strike. Still, he was new to the job, but he gave his best and already could do an impressive amount of lurking in a day or preferably at night...

[orionsangel86]

“I Think It’s Time For Me To Move On”

...And Other Things That Have Destroyed Me This Weekend...

So there is this common trope within love stories which generally happens at the end of the second act in which everything goes wrong and we all think that the lovers are doomed to failure. Its pretty much standard in every Jane Austen novel, every romantic film every made, every single bloody love story. Go ahead, name one. I guarantee you the break up moment is there.

Within the epic love story of Dean and Cas, there have been many break up moments, and all have had their emotionally devastating impact on the relationship and the show...

But THIS was a different level. 

(For a nice summary of Destiel break up moments and understanding of this trope, @tinkdw​ wrote about it here.)

I didn’t think that there would be another moment within Dean and Cas’s relationship that could hit me this hard. The mixtape in 12x19, the wrapping of Cas’s body in 13x01, and the return of Cas in 13x05 are moments that I consider to be the very top of the scale in making this pairing undeniably romantic. Moments that pushed it beyond a platonic interpretation. These three moments have been the things I cling to when the show has otherwise made me doubt any conclusion to the DeanCas story, and since there hasn’t been another one of those moments since 13x05, until now I have been somewhat nervous that the story was dropped, or being forced back behind a platonic screen. 

15x03 has ripped that screen away. 

Emotional meta under cut...

This entire episode was an emotion fuelled dramatic roller-coaster that killed off three characters including our beloved witch queen in a scene that almost stole the show and practically canonised the SamWitch ship. Rowena’s death should have been by far the most torturous moment for viewers to endure, and it was extremely torturous and had me sobbing on a plane 3 hours into a 7 hour flight. That incredibly heartfelt moment between Sam and Rowena will probably go down as one of the top tear-jerking moments on this show. It was tragic in the best way - the way Supernatural is famous for.

But lets not gloss over the fact that in an episode where THAT should have been the climax, where THAT should have been the emotional highlight and end point, instead we get a further MORE dramatic stand off between Dean and Cas that pulled focus and ripped all of our hearts out just as violently as poor Ketch in the first act (a very clever and smug piece of meta foreshadowing there Mr Berens).

On a meta level, this is HUGE as a writing choice because they MUST know how this looks. This was the climax of the third episode of the finale season. The way Supernatural has always structured itself since Carver era is that the first three mytharc episodes of each season establish the direction of the story and set the foundations for the character level focal points and dramatic key notes to come. 

That the writers have chosen to end the foundation episodes with a DeanCas break up moment that was more dramatic than a Spanish Telenovela has just stunned me and left me reeling because I just can’t see how else this can go. This break up scene absolutely DEMANDS a huge reconciliation of the sort that will be part of the A plot of the season - the FINAL SEASON. Guys. Part of the reason I have been so quiet and so disillusioned with the show during late season 13 and season 14 was because they pushed any Destiel plot into non existent territory - it became kinda irrelevant and Dean and Cas just acted like friends (homoerotic friends yes, and sometimes like an old married couple, but it was mostly played as an afterthought imo), so for this to suddenly be brought to the forefront of the emotional story again is excellent news for us. 

The thing is, like with those huge moments I listed above, the break up scene is basically undeniably romantic when you break it down to its components:

1. It’s only Dean and Cas. 

Once again we have another scene of high stake emotions that excludes Sam. In a platonic reading of the show, it makes zero sense for there to be such a hugely disjointed relationship between Cas and Dean and Cas and Sam given he has known them both for so long now that if they were all “just friends” then surely Sam would also feel the impact of Cas’s choices as heavily as Dean. In a platonic reading, Dean comes across as an asshole, Sam comes across as being weirdly uncaring about his friend of 10 years, and Cas comes across as not even bothering to get Sam’s opinion before leaving. A romantic reading makes sense because quite literally THIS IS A ROMANTIC BREAK UP.

2. The words spoken. 

“Well I don’t think there is anything left to say.”

“I think it’s time for me to move on”

From Cas’s perspective at least, name one time in a piece of media where such language has been used for a platonic breakup sincerely? There have been heartfelt break up songs that use these exact words. (I should know I’ve spent the last 24 hours listening to them all).

That last line in particular is so heavy. It’s the last line of the episode and nothing about it is platonic. This is relationship terminology my dudes. “I need to move on, and get over you.” This is Cas’s bloody Adele song. My heart breaks for him, but if I was his sassy and fabulous best girlfriend right now I’d be sitting him down, sipping a cocktail, flipping my hair and telling him “Babe, you’re too good for him. Good Riddance. Let’s go out, have some cocktails, something pink and fruity. No dive bars for us darling. I’ll take you to Heaven... the fun one in London.”

In all seriousness though, from Cas’s perspective, this was him admitting defeat and giving up the fight for love. How anyone can possibly say Cas isn’t in love with Dean after this, well I just don’t know what show you are watching. This is the face of a heartbroken man who has just accepted that his love is unrequited. 

3. The many faces of Dean Winchester

On the other end of the scale, Dean was mostly silent after his poisonous words “And why does that something always seem to be you?”

Forgive the terrible gif quality I’ve no time for fancy gif work!

Look at his face here. He knows what he said was fucked up and he immediately regrets it. The way he swallows around that regret and then turns away.

and after Cas says that devastating final line and walks away? We get THIS reaction from him:

The jaw clench as he looks down. The sorrow on his face as he realises he has well and truly fucked this up. LOOK

Finally, he looks up, makes himself look up and watch Cas leave. If that isn’t the face of a broken man I dunno what to tell you. Anyone who thinks Dean is totally heartless and uncaring right now needs to reassess because this is NOT the face of someone uncaring. This is the face of someone who has just lost everything. Again. 

4. The FUCKING MUSIC

Seriously. The sweeping heavy drama of the low strings that come in right after Dean says that horrid line, that carry the weight of the look of horror and heartbreak on Cas’s face as they amplify the emotion there. As they blend seamlessly into the slow and subtle version of the Winchester family theme behind Cas’s heartbreaking speech and Dean’s stubborn stoic face hiding a multitude of emotion, until the violin dominates as Cas says “I think it’s time for me to move on” and the Winchester Theme swells to its climax, ripping all our hearts out just like poor Ketch as Dean watches Cas walk out of his life surrounded by darkness. 

I MEAN.

A friend on Twitter reminded us all of this point about the importance of this theme via @justanotheridijiton​ here which is essentially:

“The Winchester theme is not simply an aural marker to let the audience know when and how Sam and Dean love each other (any Supernatural fan knows that is the baseline of their relationship), but to provide narrative information, especially when the image and dialogue are incomplete or inconsistent with the true situation...  Seasoned fans will recognize the theme and its history of being paired with images indicating deep emotional bonding and a desire to do the right thing by the Winchester code. Here we trust our ears over our eyes to reveal the truth.”

So here is yet another key indicator that any surface read that this is actually an ending between Dean and Cas and that Dean really is just an angry asshole is utter bullshit. 

Honestly, this was PAINFUL, but it was painful in the best way. It was 13x01 levels of pain, but this time it was Cas choosing to walk away which makes all the difference. Dean’s greatest fear isn’t his loved ones dying on him after all, but of his loved ones choosing to leave him. This was exactly the kick up the ass Dean needs in order to win Cas back, classic love trope style. 

Hence my excitement at what is to come. Yes we won’t see Cas again until 15x06, but in the meantime I fully expect a good helping of angst and wallowing from a depressed Dean who has to deal with the fact that he has just lost the love of his life and it is all his fault. That he just pushed away the one person who promised they would always stay by his side. That has got to hurt. 

So yeah, this episode emotionally destroyed me, and I’ve only really covered the primary reason, let alone all my feels over SamWitch, Rowena’s death, Belphegor’s taunting of Cas over his deepest fears and then having to suffer through smiting a creature wearing the face of his son until his body was nothing but a burnt corpse... I wonder if Bobo had a bet going in the office over how much he could hurt us all? He was certainly enjoying scrolling through the Supernatural tag on Twitter and liking everyone’s reaction tweets including some brilliant Destiel related ones. I do love Bobo. Our Angst Goblin King. 

If anyone had asked me a few weeks ago what my thoughts were on the chances of getting explicit canon Destiel by series end, I would have said somewhere in the realms of 30-40%, considering it a battle of wills between DabbBerens and CW studio execs who I still feel are against it in general. I would have considered everything that happened after 13x06 as the writers getting a big NO on Destiel from the network and therefore having to pull back on any Destiel related plot points (purely my own speculation on BTS matters of course).

Now I am wondering if Dabb kept fighting the network? If he managed to wear them down into begrudging acceptance? I’m currently up to around an 80% chance of textual canon DeanCas if we continue on this path. If Dean is clearly shown to be mourning and hating himself over Cas next episode, and if this DeanCas dramatic plot line continues to be a focal point of the emotional story arcs... well...

I’m side eyeing 15x07 a lot right now. Only in my wildest dreams would I think that they might actually introduce an old boyfriend for Dean in a “coming out” episode, but the placement, timing, and potential is all there and I’m kind of once again donning the clown mask because I’m just in awe at everything that they are doing. I guess we’ll find out soon enough. In the meantime, I’m gonna paint my face in red and white and wear my rainbow wig and listen to break up songs on Spotify whilst trying to shove my heart back into my chest where Bobo Beren’s gleefully ripped it out with his hands like the demonic angst goblin he is. Wish me luck, I’m not sure I’m gonna get through this season with my emotions intact.

[undercovermcdfan]

the calm before the storm | prologue 1

title: travis: 3:56 am, Saturday

summary: what should you worry more about: why the lake is so still or what will cause the ripples of chance? Zombie AU. Travlyn. Lucidenza. Vylance.

a/n: This is the prequels to the MCD/Mystreet Zombie AU I’m finally writing. This is just story and character set up, as well as asserting what would the main couples to the upcoming main series. You don’t have to read this to get into the main story but it would be nice if you read and reblogged.

warning(s): mild violence, zombies, pining, character building

prologue: | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |

main series: —-

Check it out on AO3

The funny thing: the end of the world didn’t happen all at once.

No, in actuality, he—like everybody else—watched as the world they knew slowly but surely get devoured by the End. Denial and delayed panic was what killed society, he remembered Laurance would say; how so many of them didn’t want to see, so they all played and clung to the words of those in higher power would sort this out.

This isn’t some regular ‘crisis’. Fucking look—those shots were definitely going through and they keep getting back up, keep walking.

The video was freaky. Some nondescript warzone, far far away his little off-campus apartment, as bulky soldiers took aim at a tattered-clothed woman who limped with a lifeless gait. The noise was almost hard to pick up between the gun shots, but low, gut-twisting moan, animalistic and inhuman coming from the woman. The video continued, the woman finally goes down but where she falls, descended from alleys and further down the road.

He shouldn’t be scrolling through comments, because they always unnerved him more than the video himself. People chiming in and linking posts, more videos, foreign articles, etc. of ‘proof’ that whatever was going down overseas wasn’t another exotic disease to spook flyers from traveling out of the country.

He clicked another tab, scrolling over his timeline—and it’s like another mind frame, people peacefully oblivious and instead enthusing about how excited they were for the upcoming summer, their plans, rants about some T.V. show. Maybe they’re like him, quietly reading and researching and losing sleep over the possibility of a horror movie scenario come to life. Maybe they didn’t care. He glanced at the notification of a new direct message, from a smiling woman, though her smile was reserved, with blue hair and giving a peace sign as her icon.

He wasn’t completely alone in this. Finding weird solace from a person he didn’t think he would find, the serious looking Katelyn from the theatre course they taken in fall together—clicking the message, she linked a couple of articles with a following message:

I couldn’t sleep. Sorry. – 5 mins ago

In the dark, only lit by his phone screen, Travis chuckled.

              DW :)

              I couldn’t either lol

              Been watching that video you sent yesterday— like is that forreal??? – secs ago

He clicked the articles she sent.

They were all the same; different politicians who say Nothing to worry about yet their actions show the opposite, as ‘outbreaks’ of ‘riots’, cities declaring state of emergency and quick federal government actions. Small time local news who report who uptick in rabid cases were reported and safety precautions to watch out any animals who could carry the disease. As well as Mayor Malik updated the curfew, initiating tomorrow at midnight.

Their friendship blooming out over paranoia over the possible end wasn’t what he had in mind when he stumbled across her late night links to some strange and obscure website five months back. She deleted them an hour later but… it didn’t stop him or his big mouth from asking, “What the hell was that last night.”

There was a moment of embarrassment flash in her eyes, her shoulders squaring in a defensive position as she turned herself fully towards him. “Do you really want to know?” Her tone asked a different question, one trying to gauge how serious he was. He nodded.

And it went down from there.

She didn’t say they were friends, but soon their discussion over the weird things they dug up turned to casual talk—and the causal talk, in real life and online, turned into something every day. It almost became their thing, as they started to withdraw from other people. They chatted about what if scenarios, plans and as the months showed more, more and more cases of this epidemic, they started to stockpile supplies.

              How did shooting range go with Jeff today? – secs ago

Her icon appeared with ellipses.

              Bad.

              I don’t think I’m cut out for guns. – secs ago

Travis hummed, acutely aware of the way his smile widen and the turn-around with his mood.

              Well it would be unfair if you were perfect at everything :P

              I kid I kid; all u need is practice, blue

              did that ivy chick tag along too? –secs ago

A moment passed.

The eclipses appeared. Then disappeared. Then reappeared.

              I’m starting to think this license was a mistake haha

              And yeah. Yknow, you should come along next time

Jeff is pretty good teacher.

And it was last time– three mins ago

He stared at the message longer than needed, as if doing so would decipher a hidden message. It didn’t—but it was worth a shot, pun intended. Lately, despite the possible end of the world being imminent that spurred this doom-prepping fanaticism within them, he wondered if she was catching the hints.

Of course, their friendship was sincere. As well as his panic and general anxiety about the stately affairs of the world.

He was but a person, nonetheless. And sometimes, shallow feelings turned into actual feelings saddled up next to that friendship borne of strange circumstance. True, he was scared to gamble away what they got—but the curiosity took hold like a cat.

              I was hoping it was the two—Delete

              Jeff doesn’t have to—Delete

              Sure :) when’s the next time you’re free? – secs ago

The eclipses appeared immediately.

              Tomorrow afternoon. Around 1 pm. We can meet up at the rec center in city.

              You know Aphmau, right? She wanted to come along

              Apparently her bf is on the same force as Jeff and she wanted to take some lessons

              Is that okay? – secs ago.

Well, at least three won’t be the crowd he had to worry about. He pursed his lips, his eyes lighting up as his slight frown returned into an almost devilish smirk.

              Sure.

And ofc Ik Aph!!! We took a history class together

              She’s terrible at work citing but man

              Her cooking tho

Tho huh im sad to hear she has a bf now lolol – five mins ago

Typing.

Disappear.

Reappear.

Disappear.

Pause.

Then Katelyn’s typing begun again.

              Why are you sad to hear that –secs ago.

Travis:

              Becauseeeee. She was a cutie.

Katelyn:

              Well duh, she’s beautiful

              ….but why do you care if she has a boyfriend or not?

Travis:

              Why do you care if I care? lolol

Katelyn:

              I don’t.

              Answer the question.

Travis:

              Uh oh

              Ur using periods at the end of ur sentences

              Interesting – six mins ago

Katelyn’s typing stopped. Then started, much less disappearing and reappearing of the eclipses now.  

              What’s that suppose to mean?

Travis smiled. He could see his two options clearly—and though, the one funniest one would lead her to giving him the cold shoulder, the temptation to his sleep-denied mind was too great.

              Ur annoyed @ me

Katelyn shoot back:

              Why would I be annoyed

Travis laughed.

              A little jealous that I’m not calling you a cutie? –fifteen mins ago

              Katie?

              Blueeeee?

              Blueberry

              Uk Im kidding rite? Aph isn’t my type lolol

              Im just messing with you

              ….hmmm i rlly pushed it didn’t i? lol

              well im going to bed but before I gooooo pls remember

              I like u best :) – eight hours ago

Katelyn:

              Like u best too – message unread

[darkcloud-kcalifornia]

Got something a bit different as far as me reacting to stuff this week.  See last time I queued up a Nanoha episode while I was waiting for Paint.net and Word to load I scrolled down the video listings on Amazon and saw something odd.  Apparently sometime in the early 80s somebody thought it would be a good idea to make a spoopy comedy titled “Saturday the 14th”.  I have never heard of this one before, and the title combined with the time it was made makes me think this would likely best be enjoyed with the company of a couple of robot puppets.  But I don’t have those, so I’m going this one alone.  Welcome to an unexpected bad movie night this Saturday the 14th with… Saturday the 14th.

* Credits ain’t even rolled yet and we already have badly a badly animated wolf and bat in front of a rotoscoped house.  Oh yeah, we’re dealing with “quality” here.

* So we open with creepy pedo vampire named Waldemar (don’t know how I’ll ever remember that name) trying to buy a house, and his wife being annoyed that he’s obviously being creepy pedo vampire in front of the real estate agent.

* So apparently there’s a problem with the house, involving some scene with “gags” about a rich person’s will telling various people to go &^%! themselves, and one couple, John and Mary, inherit a cured house.  The lawyer gags and dies before he can mention what the curse is.  Well, can’t fault the curse for efficiency.

* So apparently the naïve couple and their two kids are now moving into the house the vampire couple wants. The real estate agent tries to assure the vampires the family likely won’t stay for long.  Waldemar’s wife agrees, ominously.

* The family dog Rover decides he wants nothing to do with this place.  And the dog was the smartest of all.

* The son Billy disappears, and the couple assure themselves that this is like when they went to Disneyland and he hid inside of Pluto for 2 hours.  Not Pluto’s house, Pluto.  Guys, I think your son might be a furry.

* Of course shortly after entering the house a mirror falls down and breaks and a black cat runs by. This is a subtle movie.

* Ah, apparently Billy is an electrician furry.  He was just off fixing the fuse box.  Also, the daughter Debbie thinks boarding school sounds good right about now.

* Ah, so the vampire couple are after something in particular in that house.  They are of course being dramatically vague about that.

* Huh, that’s a curse side effect I hadn’t thought of, and yet seems oddly appropriate.  Every channel on the TV is playing The Twilight Zone. I’ll give the movie credit for that one.

* Mary seems surprisingly calm about her efforts to dust off the skull in the pantry.

* Uncle Henry left them a note before he died.  In the fridge.  About not opening “the book”.  I can’t help but feel like it would have been better to tie that note to the book in question.

* Billy of course has found the Book of Evil.  And opened it.  Well at least this movie isn’t likely to go for tree rape, it’s only rated PG.

* John and Mary hear the sound of the real estate agent being mauled outside as they prepare for a lovely night together and assume the screams were an owl.  I ain’t never heard no owl like that.

* Ain’t never seen no owl like that either.

* OK, that was a pretty decent exchange between Billy and John when the kid is screaming about a monster. “Act your age.”  “I am acting my age.  You’re just used to me acting like a grownup.  I’m 10 years old and there’s a monster in here.”

* You can tell when Billy has given up all hope when his dad doesn’t notice the monster standing right behind him.

* And Mary got bit by one of the vampires while John was being useless.

* Billy has discovered that monsters don’t like the touch of the Book of Evil.  Time for good old fashion book bashing.

* It’s got to do wonders for a kid’s self esteem to smack a large monster hard enough they go stumbling out the window.

* Waldemar is convinced that whoever controls the book controls the world.  All hail Overlord Billy!

* I wonder which monster did the dishes.

* Why can’t I ever find rubber gloves large enough for my hands? Monsters apparently don’t have this problem.

* Fin pops out of the bubble bath while certain chords play that aren’t in any way similar to a certain shark’s theme.  I’m sure it’s just a dolphin owl.

* OK movie, did we really need to see a barely teenage girl strip down for her bath?  I sure hope the actress was 18 and just happened to look young.  Because that scene ain’t right.

* Rubber ducky scare.

* Look mister, I don’t care if you’re not going to hurt her or don’t have any interest in her species, you don’t go around accosting young teens in the bath.

* Well, at least one policeman is close enough to try and do something.  Advantage of having one as a neighbor I guess.

* Too bad the creature is freakishly durable, that cop nailed him right between the eyes with that gun shot.

* And the cop’s dead. Too bad, put up a surprisingly decent fight for a “caps are useless” point in a horror movie.

* Billy, if your sister dies now it’s all on you.  You don’t stuff unconscious people into a tub with water, and then after having to drag them out to prevent drowning, try to do it again.

* So after Mary is nearly torn apart by bats owls, John calls an exterminator.  And this exterminator has a Van Helsing working for him. I have the feeling that those other addresses mentioned mean something, but I hardly ever watch horror and thus can’t say.

* Helsing comes by to exterminate the bats (look for the book) and expects a guest room.  And dinner.  You don’t get rid of bats overnight.  Doesn’t anybody have work ethic anymore?

* The monsters are outright gaslighting little Debbie at this point.

* Well Rosemary’s Baby got namechecked at least.

* Van Helsing is now completely convinced, the Book is here.  And he’s now ranting about it at the dinner table.  Awkward conversation topics.  But at least it’s being brought out into the open now and Billy is admitting that he had it and opened it.  Heck if he can find anything after his mom cleaned his room though.

* OK, that one was pretty funny.  After Van Helsing asks John if he as any idea what kind of horrors would be in the house on Saturday the 14th (title drop!) after the Book has been opened, John thinks he should restrict the party guests to just the relatives.

* That night Waldemar uses mind control on the now partially-turned Mary to have her retrieve the book from wherever it was she hid the thing when she cleaned Billy’s room.  Which… is actually a pretty good plan on Waldemar’s part. If anybody knows where the thing is now, it’d be her.

* Ah-ha!  The linen closet!  But as she’s now partially monster she can’t touch the thing.  Which… makes me wonder how Waldemar was planning on using it.  It’s not like he can touch it either if even Mary can’t when she’s still somewhat human.

* Waldemar’s wife is the jealous type.  Not that she’s wrong…

* Monsters are so sloppy. Except for Wolfman.  Wolfman seems to be stuck with the job of tidying up after the others.  I do not envy Wolfman.

* I’m honestly surprised Debbie’s bladder held strong considering she was trying to make it to the bathroom before suddenly getting transported to the kitchen.  Never did make it to that bathroom… er, because she just snuck back to her room, not because she got eviscerated or anything.

* Van Helsing: fully willing to take advantage of the fact that people will believe anything is possible from bubbling, smoky beakers.

* The fate of the world is potentially hinging on their ability to throw a good party so as to collect enough positive energy.  We’re doomed.

* Well Debbie might have avoided an accident last night but unfortunately it seemed her mother ended up soiling the bed. (*ba-dum tssh*)

* Only a minute after meeting John’s relatives and Van Helsing is already convinced these people deserve anything that happens to them tonight.

* Who want to play “find the boy before the world ends”?

* Mary was planning on handling the Book… with oven mitts.  And somebody else took it.  Uh oh.

* Nice of the monsters to leave out the cop’s head where his wife could find it.  Of course everybody in this film has blinders on.

* Who wants to bet Billy just went to the bathroom?

* Oh hey, the real estate agent is undead now.

* You know, the phrase “room temperature IQ” gets thrown around a lot these days, but…

* Oh hey, they found Billy! And he’s got the book!  And is with Waldemar… and wearing a cape…

* And Van Helsing was a villain all along, as he too was in the book.

* OK, I think I just need to stae for the record that random sound effects rather than the usual vampiric hissing do not comedy make.  This scene is just cringe-worthy.

* And so Van Helsing gets his hands on the book to destroy it and thus make sure the monsters can’t be imprisoned again, and that just kills the monsters and Van Helsing.

* And so Waldemar and his wife bid them a fond farewell and Rover comes back.  The End.

 Yeah, that was kind of a crappy ending.  As for the rest of the movie, it was… meh?  Certainly not the worst thing I’ve sat through, and there were a couple of decent jokes and lines in there.  But a lot of the humor derived from how oblivious and stupid most of the people were, and that just gets old after a while.  Still, if you want to watch a cheesy movie with bad effects and acting then feel free to give this one a go.  Just be aware that you’d probably have a better time if you have friends to mock it with.