#i need more trans recs

[divinesymmetry]

Kicking off Pride Month with a list of the best Queer movies I've seen:

Paris is Burning (1990): an absolute MUST WATCH for every single queer person

Fire Island (2022): Bowen Yang, Joel Kim Booster, Margaret Cho and Pride and Prejudice, what's there not to love??

But I'm a Cheerleader (1999): Natasha Lyone and Clean Duvall do gay stuff together, RuPaul plays an ex-gay, need i say more?

Maurice (1987): the dark academia gay period piece of our dreams (plus Hugh Grant???)

Dating Amber (2020): one word - ireland (see also: Handsome Devil)

Nowhere (1997): if you're not saying "huh?" you're not watching it right

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) is the absolute basis for camp

Moonlight (2016) needs no introduction

Été 85 (2020): gays on motorcycles cinematic universe

Fear Street Trilogy (2021) and Bodies, Bodies, Bodies (2022) because lesbians can kill, too

Edge of Seventeen (1998): what is gayer than a bad bleach job?

God's Own Country (2017)

The Watermelon Woman (1996): absolutely underrated classic

The Thing About Harry (2020), Alex Strangelove (2018), Crush (2022), Bros (2022) because we deserve dumb lil rom coms

120 Battements par Minute (2017), Arrête avec Tes Mensonges (2023), Pariah (2011), My Own Private Idaho (1991), for when you just wanna sob uncontrollably

Happy Pride ! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

[greeektragedy]

except from see who i am by vmdraco.

i’ve been having a rough, dysphoria-filled week and going through this heartbreaking yet beautiful fic made me feel not-so-awful in my own skin, and a whole lot less alone. to say that i am a sobbing mess right now is an understatement

if you haven’t read see who i am by vmdraco yet, do yourself a favor and go check it out. it’s still in progress and it has not been updated for a while, but it’s worth reading still!

[vampiredeck]

what are yalls fave bands with trans members? i need to listen to more it is urgent

[angelsrevenge]

i cant sleep fuck my LIFFEEE i have a doctor appt at 8 fucking am that i literally cannot miss i already didnt sleep last night. why am i not tired. someone put me out of my fucking misery god

[befuddled-calico-whump]

Stumbled on the series Altered Carbon a few days ago. I'm only five episodes in, but so far so good. The concept is exceptionally whumpy, but the execution is fairly standard for mainstream TV (handwaved injuries, trauma not really acknowledged). It's also a cyberpunk setting that goes heavy on world building, so naturally I love that.

(mini review with some spoilers beneath the cut)

Pros:

- Whumpy premise. Rebel/mercenary is taken out of prison by a rich guy who wants to hire him (and who almost verbatim claims him as his property)

- Interesting world, colorful and visually fun

- The concept of resleeving (transferring a person's consciousness into a new body) is used for both comedy and horror and it's great

- Episode 4 is like 30% torture chamber

- The way they illustrate "body death" as cheap makes a lot of sense to me for the the setting

- There's an AI hologram character and I love him

Cons:

- Has the gratuitous violence, nudity, and gore that's become typical for "adult" sci-fi. I don't mind it, (and I love the fight scenes) but half the time it seems like it's just for shock value

- excessive amount of sex scenes. Also makes half the female characters sex workers, and has a few instances of 'violence against women as a plot device'. The extent doesn't seem necessary aside from the "gritty" vibes these shows feel like they need to be taken seriously

- most of the romance feels forced

- oh and the male lead is literally drugged and sexually assaulted, but afterwards it's almost played like it was consensual??

- yeah yeah it's typical for sci-fi protagonists to be super tough and unflinching and it's part of the character but holy cow the lead has minimalist reactions to pain

[chronologicalimplosion]

I get so frustrated by the fact that transmasc fic focuses so heavily on the same transition milestones (or on sex that doesn't feel meaningfully different from cis genderswap fic) and I just like. Do not know how to talk about it without sounding like a grumpy old man.

There are just SO MANY weird and specific parts of everyone's trans experience. I get so tired of the endless arguments about "happens to be trans" vs "about being trans" representation. It's not binary like that!! Pausing the narrative to mention that a character wears a binder, adding blorbo names to a textbook coming out, and fucking sloppy style are not the only options!!

I'm not mad that those fics exist, I want every scared trans teen who hasn't come out yet to have that safe haven on ao3, but also. Like.

Where are my trans fics about awkward packer slip-ups? About re-meeting someone who only knew you pre-transition? About travel difficulties and paperwork hell? About healthcare fuckups and deciding to come out to soften the "no" when you get invited to a pool party and picking your hobbies to avoid gendered spaces and the first time your voice cracks at the knitting circle? About gifts of clothes and learning to shave?

I want stories where the characters have specific trans struggles and joys that are unique to the circumstances of the rest of their lives. I want stories that are in medias trans, focusing on the middle bits and not just the big milestones of starting t/getting surgery/coming out. I want stories where trans people get help, even from people who aren't doing it perfectly, even from people they're not fucking or related to. Hell, I want more stories that actually engage with bottom dysphoria. I want comings-out that work the way real ones do, over multiple conversations to hash out the specifics of what "I'm trans" actually means for how you, specifically, want to be treated.

I want trans headcanons that feel the same way it does to BE trans: trans, and many other things that have nothing to do with being trans, simultaneously and inextricably. Trans stories that couldn't be told about any other character because they're grounded in the minutia of that specific character's life.

[angelyuji]

SOME MOREEE YANDERE PINES TWINS THOUGHTS

stan pines thoughts and professor ford pines??? HOLD ON LET ME COOK

18+!!!!

tw // yandere themes, gaslighting, manipulation, power imbalance, pervy uncle lowkey, also lowkey bimboification, noncon (not explicit)

professor ford pines!!!!!!!! known to be the eccentric professor who goes on tangents about trans-dimensional physics and other science junk, but also superrr lenient grader like no possible way anyone could fail his class. you’re def teacher’s pet type and he’s definitely aiming to make you a TA. always getting you involved in weird experiments, but you’re always down cuz ur there to learn! ford invites you to his house, you guys hang out outside of class and research, you’ve met his brother!! like u knew it was getting weird, but at the same time…. you need a good rec letter. so one day you guys are in his office at his home, grading papers…

“(y/n).” ford calls your name, sternly. the lights were dim and quiet classical music played in the office. you hum and turn to him. before you know it, his chapped lips press against yours. you push him away, scared and surprised.

“professor, what the hell are you doing?” you try back away, but ford grabs your hand.

“i think you are one of the most brilliant minds i know and i want to be with you, (y/n).” ford stands, pulling you into a hug. you push back, stumbling away from him.

“no, i-i never thought that! i thought we were just friends!”

“but, i invited you to my home.” ford’s face saddens, “you met my family…”

“i never… i never realized…” you felt embarrassed for the old professor. you take a step back. you can’t see his face, but you watch his fists clench.

“i suppose that means you’re okay with losing your job, as well as any opportunities in this field.” his voice was low, words drenched in anger.

“no…. no, no, no, professor you can’t do this to me.” your heart feels like it was being ripped out of your chest.

“no, i can’t, but who will you tell? who will believe you? i am a respected scientist in our field, (y/n). think once more on your decision.” ford looks at you, a smug smirk laying on his face. you don’t respond, knowing that you had no other choice. you step back to him and he pulls you into a soft, loving kiss. his 5 o’clock shadow scratches your face. “now, please (y/n), call me ford.”

stan pines who had known your dad when he lived in texas and saw him again in gravity falls. stan pines who gets invited over to meet his friend’s family for dinner and sees you. a cute, little thing in their early 20s. stan’s instantlyyy enamored. you’re so cute and respectful, explaining how you’re living at home while you work and save money for a house, blushing when stan compliments you, serving him food first. you were acting like a perfect homemaker and stan was instantly obsessed. your dad’s gonna tell stan before he leaves that you’re all moving somewhere cheaper:

“yeah, pines, we’re moving some time soon. you know how it is with retirement and the market going down.” your dad sighs, wearily. stan nods, trying to listen to your voice in the house. “can’t move till (y/n) finds a job though. its gonna be tough on them especially with how hard it is to find jobs these days.” stan perks up at his words.

“y’know, (y/n) don’t have to quit…” your dad looks at the older man in confusion. “my grandkids have gone back to california, shermie’s grandkids technically, so my attic is open for them to stay in. they can stay at their job and you guys can move.” stan offers, fighting a giddy smile.

your dad clasps stan’s hands, “stan pines, you are the kindest man i know.”

stan for sure acts like a feeble old man around you to get you to take care of him. like cooking dinner, doing laundry, and more. he conditions you into acting like his stay at home partner. he starts making advances, subtle at first, to see what you would tolerate. soon he’s dictating what you wear and bending you over on the kitchen counter to make sure you stay full :) (dont get me started on somnophilia cuz i have thoughts on those but idk if u guys are ready for the things im gonna say)

here are those thoughts i was talking abt… :))))

[wiltkingart]

LOVED mtmtm and the way you write. are there any writers, artists, or anthologies you would recommend that exist in that same trans/horror/erotica/fantasy crossroads?

a few! not many that hit all points at once, but here's some reads you might enjoy:

Bound in Flesh: An Anthology of Trans Body Horror - exactly as it says, this is a collection of 13 stories by trans and nonbinary writers. i liked it a lot, thought it had a lot of great stories, and it made me feel really excited about the future (and present) of trans horror.

Body after Body by Briar Ripley Page - "Sex, drugs, violence, cannibalism, psychic powers, a catgirl (sort of)", body after body is a novella that describes itself as a "lurid, dreamlike, amoral queer/trans sci-fi trash literature at least four or five people have been waiting for". i can confirm everyone i know who has read it has loved it, myself included.

Eyetooth by Mars Adler - trans horror erotica novelette with medkink + wound fingering (one of my absolute favorite things!) between an art student and a mysterious androgynous doctor. LOVED the surgery scene.

The Scales of Seduction by Rien Gray - not horror. This one's an f/f trans erotic romance novella between the last living Basilisk and Medusa, but i have to mention it because its a strong contender for my book of the year. Loved loved loved the writing. Poetic prose that had me highlighting lines on every page. Just astoundingly wonderful.

Kissing Carrion by Gemma Files - a collection of short horror stories "where obsession is stronger than death... body, soul, time and space itself, are all fluid and treacherous... vampires ache for more than simply blood... where the only escape from the darkness within is to embrace it". none of these stories are trans, but it has some queer horror elements that have left a heavy mark on my brain. gemma files has been a big influence on my writing in so many ways and reading this collection last year was one of the big things that pushed me to take the leap to write something like MtMtM!

that's all for now. i have a ton of weird trans indie sex books on itch.io bookmarked i still need to check out, but people are free to leave their own recs in the replies. and i talk a lot more about books over on my personal blog (@wiltking).

[midnightwinterhawk]

I found this unfinished fic rec list in my google docs and I have no idea what the theme was supposed to be so I'm setting it free into the world. I've read all of these more than once but that's the only common thread I can see. 😂

Since @outtoshatter told me to publish it (many, many months ago) this is dedicated to her.

The One You Choose by @asterekmess

13k | Mature

Stiles hadn’t seen Scott in over a week, except for glances he caught during school hours.

Sex Therapy by Asterekmess

51k | Explict

Stiles wanders into a club named Eclipse, looking for a one night stand to help him get over his breakup, only to realize that he has no idea what he's doing. Luckily for him, Derek is happy to be his Yoda.

The only problem comes when neither of them are able to keep it to just one night.

In One Kiss You'll Know All I Haven't Said by @aussiebee

1.7k | Teen

Derek accidentally kisses Stiles goodbye. They aren't dating.

It becomes... a thing.

we are the resistance by @callunavulgari

7k | Mature | (Pacific Rim au!!)

“So,” Stiles says after a moment. “Werewolves.”

“It’s a thing,” Derek murmurs sleepily.

Stiles chokes on a laugh. “Yeah, I realize that now. I just, I don’t know why I expected anything different. We live in a world where giant aliens attack every few weeks through a trans-dimensional portal at the bottom of the Pacific, why wouldn’t werewolves exist?”

[Hilary Duff Lyric Redacted] by calrissian18 (@wellhalesbells)

40k | Explicit

Stiles hadn’t been in Beacon Hills in five years, hadn’t seen Derek in nearly as long, when he got the text:

New number: (+530) 365-2421

or

An abundance of overeating and geekery, dangerous caffeine/sugar cereal addictions, surprise werewolves, bird insults, purple-eyed shrimp, reincarnated serial killers (it's cool, he has a leash), poorly played professional baseball, and a love story. In that order.

stuck in reverse by @crazyassmurdererwall

65k | Explict

Look, Derek is the worst. Everyone knows that. Their fearless leader is a total and complete failwolf.

Which means the rest of them? Are kind of the worst too. They’re a ramshackle, slap dashed, sorry excuse for a pack that’s about a half second away from getting one of them killed. And this is a problem, because Stiles would really like to survive high school. Thanks.

Still, no one deserves what Derek has gone through. Nobody.

And it’s about time somebody told him that.

Step into the daylight (and let it go) by dearericbittle

14k | Mature

Stiles is a grad student with serious insomnia. So when he sees a stranger in need of help, he thinks it’ll be a good way to allevbore the boredom. How the hell was he supposed to know that the weird guy with the baseball cap was a famous actor (and a fucking werewolf)? He just keeps running into the guy. Coincidence? Stiles thinks not.

Come with Me and Walk the Longest Mile by @devildoll

40k | Explicit

"Stiles shouldn't accept rides from werewolves he meets behind abandoned convenience stores." In which the zombie apocalypse is just one of their worries.

of gods & monsters by @dexterous-sinistrous

6k | Mature

“I’m not the best at conversation. I’ve been told I have no finesse for it.”

Stiles took a step closer to Derek, pushing the billowing silk out of the way. “And what would you say if you looked at me now?”

Derek looked up, startled for a moment when he realized he was now looking at Stiles’ unveiled face. He was silent for a beat, taking in Stiles’ features for the first time, convinced he would never see such beauty unveiled for him alone.

Painted Wooden Letters by @discontentedwinter

10k | Teen | (Stiles & John with a tiny side of Sterek)

All he ever wanted to be was Stiles Stilinski.

Smoke & Mirrors by doodle

69k | Explicit

"Mirror twin, actually,” Stiles corrected automatically. “It’s a subset of identical, but we’re not identical in the normal way. I'm the mirror image of him, or him me, whichever way you want to look at it."

Stiles has spent his entire life in the shadow of JJ, his popular, captain of the lacrosse team, jackass twin brother. Now he only has to make it through the summer until JJ goes to college.

Easier said than done when JJ starts hooking up with Stiles' crush, Derek Hale, and there's a dead body in the preserve.

Windows by @drgrlfriend

83k | Explicit

Derek has a new neighbor who won't stop looking.

Excerpt:

“You’re blind,” Derek said flatly, the anger draining from him so suddenly he felt almost woozy. His vision cleared, his claws sliding back into blunt fingernails.

“Thanks for the memo, genius,” the kid said acidly. “I can still fucking defend myself, so don’t take another damn step.”

“Fuck, I...I’m sorry,” Derek stuttered.

“What?!” The kid’s brow crinkled. “I mean — what?! You’re fucking sorry!?” His lips thinned into a harsh line. “What, is this some kinda Hallmark movie where you’re discovering the error of your ways because you don’t want to rob a blind person?! That’s fucking condescending, man. I’ll have you know that —”

“Just, wait.” Derek interrupted what was apparently the start of a convincing argument as to why he should rob the kid after all, feeling his head start to spin. “This is — it’s a misunderstanding. I’m — I’m not robbing you. You’re — you’re safe, okay? I’m taking three steps back. Just — just let me explain.”

“Explain why you came busting into my apartment? Yeah, go right ahead, man, I can’t wait to hear this epic tale.”

Watch as the waves, fall back into place. by DropsOfAddiction

32k | Explicit

Derek rakes his eyes over Stiles’ exposed arms and his gaze lingers on the lithe muscle there. The evidence of years of staying in shape, working as an FBI field agent is blatant and was he always that hairy?

Derek’s mesmerised by the dark hair running up his arms and it’s only when Stiles clears his throat and flails his hands at him that Derek manages to bring his eyes to his face.

Stiles’ brown hair is longer and he looks taller somehow, fitting his body in a way Derek’s never quite seen on him. He looks totally comfortable in himself, propped there against the jeep like he does this every day, like he’s not making Derek readjust his entire world view, just by being there.

Derek scents the air blatantly and he steps closer to him, pleased with the way Stiles’ heartbeat spikes a little, despite his cool demeanour.

“Hey Hale. Looking good,” Stiles grins, still not moving an inch, even when Derek’s only about a metre away.

lovely, dark, deep by @elisela

3k | General

Stiles floats.

That’s all there is to do; the day is sunny and warm, like every other day he’s been in this pond, though he’s not sure how long that’s been. Sometimes he thinks it hasn’t been long, but whenever he tries to think about it, he … forgets. He told Kate once, when she came out to the garden late one night and let a fox tumble from her hands onto the ground, and she’d patted his cheek and told him that merpeople weren’t known for anything but looking pretty, so she wasn’t surprised to hear he didn’t have many thoughts in his head.

Sometimes it bothers him, that he can remember every day he’s been in the pond but nothing before, but if he thinks about it for too long he forgets that, too.

By Any Other Name by @entanglednow

33k | Explicit

He doesn't know his name, he doesn't know who he is, and neither does the werewolf he's on the run with. But he's pretty sure they hunt monsters, because they seem to be really good at it.

Hide Of A Life War by @etharei

26k | Explicit

“We have received confirmation that there is a hostage situation in progress at a warehouse compound two hours out of Los Angeles, following a multiple-vehicle pileup on Highway 101 this morning...”

The one in which Stiles has lived to (legal) adulthood and, along the way, become a bit of a badass himself.

One Dollar Yoda by exclamation @adventures-in-a-world-of-fiction

11k | Mature

Stiles is an unbonded spark, so he's been dealing with courting alphas since he was ten. It's gotten a lot worse since he turned sixteen. Some are assholes, some are nice, but Stiles hasn't wanted to spend the rest of his life bound to any of them.

When Derek Hale shows up at his school, Stiles expects him to be just another asshole alpha attempting to buy him with expensive gifts. But Derek Hale puts no effort whatsoever into his courtship gifts. Stiles ought to be offended but instead he finds it refreshing.

On my Way by Gia279 (@outtoshatter)

18k | NR

Huge black paws smacked the window, followed by a fuzzy face smooshing up against it.

He scrambled over the gear shift, tipping into the passenger seat. Bear, he thought hysterically. It had to be a bear, a freaking bear.

A big pink tongue rolled out, lips pulling back as the creature panted.

Forward Motion by Gia279

9k | Teen

Stiles and Claudia have just opened their magic shop, finally moving to a brick and mortar store instead of selling potions and amulets from their kitchen.

Derek is having strange dreams, and Peter keeps asking him to go pick up some weird herbs from the new shop while the rest of the Hale pack is in an uproar preparing for their chaotic winter celebration.

Stiles has not one but two embarrassing run-ins with Derek before he manages a conversation with him, and Claudia gets the last laugh.

Shifted by Gia279

48k | NR

What the fuck? Stiles’s eyes snapped open. He leaped back.

A semi-truck blew by, horn blaring in annoyance.

Stiles looked around. His heart quickened at the unfamiliar shadows. His phone rang again, startling him. He fumbled it out of his pocket to answer, fingers sliding awkwardly over the screen.

“Where are you?” Talia’s voice snapped with urgency.

Stiles looked down. His feet were bare and dirty, but he’d still been wearing jeans when he fell asleep. “I’m not sure.”

flint & tinder by grimm

43k | Explicit

Casting spells, chasing monsters, wooing your coworkers and fucking them in their offices - it's all in a day's work for Stiles Stilinski.

North of Salem by @halehathnofury-blog

85k | Explicit

The world is ending in a fight between the supernatural and human worlds. On the front line there are packs that keep the threat at bay and one of them is run by an Alpha wolf and a Spark.

Quack (Stiles Stop Calling It That) by @isthatbloodonhisshirt

16k | Teen

“Stiles, I’m serious, I need a favour.”

“That sounds like a trap,” Stiles Stilinski muttered sleepily into both his pillows. “You know,” he continued when the man in his room made no move to leave, “you’d think I’d be used to this. My dad, coming into my room, smacking my ass to get me out of bed, waking me up at the ass crack of dawn—”

“It’s almost one.”

“—waking me up at the ass crack of one,” Stiles continued without missing a beat, “and asking for a favour. Given my life growing up with you, you’d think I’d be used to this by now. I think the reason this hits so hard now is that I specifically bought my own apartment so that you couldn’t wake me up at the ass crack of dawn—”

“Stiles, it’s almost one.”

“—so that you couldn’t wake me up at the ass crack of one.”

Words Cannot Espresso How Much You Bean to Me by isthatbloodonhisshirt

68k | Teen

“You’re late,” Derek informed him coldly, jaw clenched. He barely even moved his mouth to speak. This guy was seriously scary.

And because Stiles was suicidal, he said, “No, I’m Stiles.”

The look he got could’ve curdled milk. Stiles even noticed that Derek’s muscles were tensing, arms bulging even more and wow this guy was scary and hot but mostly scary holy shit.

“You’re not funny,” Derek informed him coldly.

Stiles shrugged. “I think that’s a matter of opinion.”

Puppy Love by @jerakeenc

7k | Teen

"You stole half the dogs in town," his dad says, hands on his hips. "I should arrest you."

"They're in protective custody," Stiles corrects him. He's trying to sound serious, but it's almost impossible when you have a Pomeranian eating your hair.

Waiting Games Jerakeen

6k | Explicit

Being an only child and heir to the throne, Stiles had always known he may not have the luxury of marrying for love. When he’d realized he was an omega to boot, things had taken an even more uncomfortable turn for him.

Omegas are rare. An omega as the heir apparent is almost unheard of.

Which is why there is no wiggle room when it comes to the tournament.

Don't Worry Baby by @kalpurna

20k | Explicit

"You know you're allowed to ask for vanilla sex, right?" he says, afterwards. "We can do whatever you want. That's kind of the point."

Derek doesn't respond.

The (un)Usual? by @rhysiana

28k | Teen

Stiles works nights at the local college-town diner. Derek is the weird, taciturn new regular who apparently needs huge quantities of food in the middle of the night. Stiles is determined to figure out why.

[lexreadsdiversely]

Screw Goodreads: Poetry Recommendations

Since goodreads doesn't think poetry matters, here's a random rec list for anyone who wants to read more poetry. You may find many of these titles on Libby and the Queer Liberation Library @queerliblib

Poetry collections I can personally recommend:

bone - Yrsa Daley-Ward

Wound from the Mouth of a Wound - torrin a. greathouse

When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities - Chen Chen

Troubling the Line: Trans and Genderqueer Poetry and Poetics - Edited by T.C. Tolbert and Trace Peterson

Postcolonial Love Poem - Natalie Diaz

Thrown in the Throat - Benjamin Garcia

The Hurting Kind - Ada Limón

Night Sky with Exit Wounds - Ocean Vuong

And here are some of the many poetry collections on my tbr (libby, my beloved, please... I'm not above begging) but I figured I'd add them for folks to do their own exploring.

Eating the Archive - Yousif M. Qazmiyeh

If My Body Could Speak - Blythe Baird

Helium - Rudy Francisco

There Should Be Flowers - Joshua Jennifer Espinoza

Corazón - Yesika Salgado

The Orange and Other Poems - Wendy Cope

The Collected Poems of Audre Lorde - Audre Lorde

I am Schizophrenic: Poetry from a Beautiful Brain - Kerenza Ryan

Blood Orange - Yaffa As

MARIPOSAS: A Modern Anthology of Queer Latino Poetry - Edited by Emanuel Xavier

Why Dust Shall Never Settle Upon This Soul - Ryka Aoki

Under Her Skin: A Women in Horror Poetry Showcase, Vol 1 - Edited by Lindy Ryan and Toni Miller

Life on Mars - Tracy K. Smith

The World Keeps Ending, and the World Goes On - Franny Choi

Call Us What We Carry - Amanda Gorman

We Will Be Shelter: Poems for Survival - Edited by Andrea Gibson

Crush - Richard Siken

Bless the Daughter Raised by a Voice in Her Head - Warsan Shire

The Tradition - Jericho Brown

The End of the Alphabet - Claudia Rankine

Beautiful Zero: Poems - Jennifer Willoughby

Calling a Wolf a Wolf - Kaveh Akbar

Individual poems:

Check out my poetry blog @thispoemisaboutyou

Poem-a-Day (also a podcast)

Appreciating Poetry:

If Poetry Confuses You, Watch This - Introduction to Poetry Appreciation

Disclaimer: I do not personally know if any of these authors are scumbags. I'll be doing research on each one soon (but a lot that goes on happens on twitter, and I don't touch twitter so I might miss shit). I encourage you to do your own research as well, and feel free to message me if you know something I don't.

**And as always, make sure you read the blurbs and check content warnings if you need to. Storygraph is great for content warnings if the author doesn't have them on their website**

okay stopping cuz this post is getting too long, but I'll make a part two at some point

[loser-bassist]

gay men don't need to like vagina

I never said they have to! What I did say is that often times cis gay men will express how vagina repulsed they are and then turn around and proceed to use the same term while talking about their own non female anatomy which is hypocritical and inevitably makes trans men feel bad about themselves

(Ex: “my boyfriend tore up my sopping wet vagina” -cis man, talking about his ass)

If you’re talking about my “cis gay men need to take more interest in trans men” post, it’s my opinion! Shocker that people have those! I’m a trans guy that has been with countless cis men and my anatomy has never bothered them. I just find that there’s never cis gay men appreciation for trans men and their bodies online or in queer spaces. There’s also very very little cis gay man and trans man relationship representation in the media! (If anyone has any recs, tell me.)

[plaidos]

can I ask advice? my friend recently came out to me as a trans girl, but she’s having a really hard time. apart from the everything about being a trans woman in the world, she’s been treated horribly already as a traumatized autistic “boy” and there aren’t any other transfems around us, the only other trans person we know is me and im more or less theyfab. so here’s the question: I know she really wants to make friends as herself, especially with other transfems, and get into a community, but she’s terrified and depression fatigued and doesn’t feel like she’s really worth it bc she’s pre transition. is it inappropriate for me to look for/contact transfem support groups or discords? im not gonna push her into anything but she does very well with more information and if it’s not rude or invasive, I thought I might just ask in a few transfem spaces or contact the mods and sort of what goes on and what they’re about, see if they have any other recs for newly hatched chicks if they’re more insular. and then just like. Send her the rundowns so she’s not going in blind. I don’t want to push and I don’t want to get in random online trans women’s business asking stupid questions. but I also know that even tho we’re friends I don’t quite Get It or Know Stuff and I cant rly be everything she needs nd deserves with this. and after all she’s been through I don’t blame her for being scared to reach out. Also if you have suggestions pls pls pls. Thank u

it is not inappropriate for you to look for/contact transfem support groups or discords!!! well some of the discords might be weird about it because discords are often run weird but that's just a discord thing.

better yet -- you could look for local events and take her! dont feel like you cant go because youre not transfem, if you're taking a trans girl to a transfem event, unless it's for us "only" then you're allowed/encouraged to come with. she'll feel less anxious with a trans friend who will have her back!!

i think this is the biggest advice i have for TME trans people/cis queer people in supporting trans girls -- go with her. be her friend. stand up for her! trans girls are so denied from everything that even when we're explicitly allowed, we function like vampires. you need to offer us a space, and you might need to physically take her to events in/around your area if you can find anything at all -- even if you have to travel

[sophie-frm-mars]

Hi, ex-supporter here. Genuinely hope you’re doing well. I have been tempted to start up my support again because you genuinely are a talented writer/creator and I do enjoy your work.

I hope you understand supporting your Patreon is somewhat fraught. Your private life should be none of our business, but sadly it is relevant here. Moral action, both private and political is central to your work; you have called out plenty of people for abuse & morality drives your politics. We know abuse took place on your end, but that’s all.

A lot of people like myself might be emotionally rooting for you to bounce back from this, but are unable to support you right now because that moral dissonance has not been resolved. We really don’t know if you are like other ‘cancelled’ leftist influencers and just use leftist values to deflect attention away from abuse, or you are actually trying to do better and working on yourself.

You don’t owe us anything. However, many of us who are eager to support you are forced to hold back because trust has been damaged, and there has not been any real sign of reparation or reconciliation. Maybe you think those kind of questions are invasive, maybe you don’t think we are real fans for not sticking by you despite the allegations.

I don’t know, I just want you to know that there are plenty of people who do want to support you, but feel they need to trust you first. And that can’t happen without addressing some things.

Anyways, best wishes. Take care.

Hiya, thank you for speaking to me on this.

Before I say the rest of what I say I want to be clear that between me and the people I was involved with in 2023, there were some instances where I was responsible for harm, there were instances where I received harm and there was also a general pervasive ecosystem of harmful behaviours in the community I was in. This includes people who signed the statement against me, and in one instance one of them did something which everyone to whom I have described it has agreed is sexual assault, though there is more besides.

For the time being I'm not talking publicly more about what happened because it was a very messy situation, and although I have been seriously harmed by issues in my personal life being litigated in public in this way, I don't want to give my full account of my relationships with everyone involved because I don't want that type of harm to be done to other trans women. There are plenty of complicating factors as there often are in real life that social media isn't really capable of parsing. I have made it clear repeatedly that I am open to hearing anything that people involved want to say to me, and I talked in this post in January about that and about what I would be doing to ensure that I put in the work and make sure I don't cause harm like it again

https://x.com/sophie_frm_mars/status/1745414530455261531

I think that that post says everything I would like to say for now, although I regret saying I agree that my behaviour was abusive, because with more distance and perspective I don't think abusive behaviour was actually described to me.

As I understand it via the support that my therapist and friends have offered, my problems in 2023 were that: I wasn't taking my mental health seriously, I didn't learn good kink practice, I had very little appreciation of my own boundaries and when I shouldn't be doing something that someone asks me to do, and I was high basically all the time. I am in therapy and doing DBT and taking my mental health deadly seriously, I have done a huge amount of reading assigned by my therapist about kink, sex, relationships and mental health, I am working in an ongoing way on learning how to effectively communicate, know my boundaries and understand myself well enough to not be in the kinds of situations that risk harm, and I'm no longer high all the time.

(If anyone is interested in those book recs, so far I've read: Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again by Katherine Angel; The Right To Sex by Amia Srinivasan; Screw Consent (I hate this edgy title) by Joseph Fischel; Playing Well With Others; The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren; I Hope We Choose Love by Kai Cheng Thom; The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W Hardy; and Dissociation Made Simple by Jamie Marich. There have been some others, and I've written a bit about them in the book club channel on my discord as I've been reading)

I haven't heard from the people involved. The last I heard from anyone was one of my exes calling me a pathological liar and saying that they just want to move on with their lives, so while I'm doing the work to make sure I act better in future I am just trying to get on with my life and let them get on with theirs. I hope this clarifies why I have not talked further about the situation.

I will say that the last few months have been hellish for me. I have been frequently suicidal, I spent Christmas and new years alone, I lost a tooth because I couldn't afford proper dental treatment, people from within the community I've been ostracised from have been putting pressure on my remaining friends to cut ties with me, Keffals had my abuser on her twitch stream, a bizarre exaggerated and monsterised version of my personal life has been publicly gossiped about by trans people, fash and "leftist" drama streamers alike, I have been doing other work to make sure I can still pay rent and afford my bills and my HRT, and to survive. As I've been getting more stable and more able to focus on things besides this, I've been working on new writing because all I want with regard to my work and my channel is for my writing to help people. I don't want to talk about my private life, but I do understand that some number of people will feel after what has been said about me that they can't move forward with me without hearing the full details. Lots of people in my life have repeatedly encouraged me to publish a full account of everything that happened but I know how the Internet works and I don't want other trans women to be harmed in the ways that I have been harmed.

[radioapple-heathen]

My Top 10 📻🍎 'Oneshots' Fic Recs

(A continuation of my previous post. You can find info about my fic preferences and my top 10 'Series' fic recs here. And my multi-chap recs here.)

1.) Mine to Avenge by fourshadesofgreen

Rated E. POV: Lucifer. Genre: Canonverse. Notable Warnings: None.

Notes: Murder Husbands. What more can I say? This is peak radioapple. Flirting through murder?? UGH. Delicious. Obsessed. Think about this oneshot 24/7. There is nothing else.

2.) With A Coffee and a Caress by @winterveritas

Rated E. POV: Lucifer. Genre: Post-Canon. Notable Warnings: None.

Notes: This was SOOO FREAKING CUTE??? AND SEXY??? SIMULTANEOUSLY??? Also this oneshot got me to jump all aboard the trans!Alastor train. Can't say anything I haven't said already about Winter, but go read, 10/10 quality and believable wonderful progression of their relationship!!

3.) No hiding place down here by @tollingreminiscentbells

Rated E. POV: Alastor. Genre: Post-Canon. Notable Warnings: None.

Notes: I will inhale anything this author writes in re: to radioapple and this is no exception. Fantastic dialogue and characterization, as usual. Lucifer-heals-Alastor oneshot that could honestly be canon with how well the author writes these two.

4.) afternoon delight by deliciously_devient

Rated E. POV: Lucifer. Genre: Canon Divergence. Notable Warnings: Uh, idk, menstration fic.

Notes: This author is going to make a full deviant out of me yet. Intersex!Lucifer hits that time of the month and, of course, Alastor is there to assist like the super helpful friend he is XD

5.) Truth Laid Bare by pervertanarchy

Rated E. POV: Lucifer. Genre: Post Canon (I think). Notable Warnings: Explicit +. Mind the tags LOL.

Notes: ANGEL TRUTH SERUM AU???? I didn't realize how much I needed this in my life, but bless you, author. Lucifer is a Mess (TM) and a good time was had by all, including Alastor's shadow.

6.) bite the hand by @tarmairons

Rated M. POV: Lucifer. Genre: Post-Canon. Notable Warnings: None.

Notes: I absolutely ADORE the characterizations in this oneshot. The dialogue between them is ON POINT. So witty, so in character, just perfection. And then when it becomes PLAYFUL??? The best!

7.) God Forsaken by Kisama

Rated E. POV: Alastor. Genre: Human!Alastor AU. Notable Warnings: None.

Notes: Ah, hello, Alastor meeting Lucifer as a human, my absolute weakness, nice to see you again. A fantastic addition to my library of this trope --- and bottom!Alastor, my other beloved.

8.) helter skelter by nymphaceae

Rated E. POV: Alastor. Genre: Post-Canon. Notable Warnings: None.

Notes: Catch me on my trans!Alastor train still, because this was chef's kiss as well. Very fun, very sexy oneshot, would read 19 more installments of this.

9.) will you weapon your skin (feed the monster within) by FrostbiteFable

Rated E. POV: Alastor. Genre: Post-canon. Notable Warnings: Explicit + LOL.

Notes: WHY DID IT TAKE ME SO LONG TO FIND THIS FIC??? THIS 25K ONESHOT SEX POLLEN RADIOAPPLE MASTERPIECE?? Seriously, strap in, y'all, because this is a ride, omg. I don't even know how to summarize it, JUST READ IT. It's so, so, so good.

10.) Lavender and Smoke by pervertanarchy

Rated T. POV: Lucifer. Genre: Post Canon. Notable Warnings: None.

Notes: AHA! A T-rated oneshot rec, I am not a complete heathen. Jokes aside, this was SO SWEET??? I love domestic radioapple so much. It really scratches an itch in my brain. And the author has such beautiful crisp prose, it makes for such an easy and enjoyable read.

[librarycards]

hello all, and welcome to my final quarterly book rec post of 2024! this quarter was a huge one for sff (and not only on the heels of my own novel's publication - obligatory Failure to Comply [ebook] mention here!) and an exciting one for catching up on both new books and old ones i hadn't yet gotten to.

i guess you could chalk the dominance of sff in this list up to a need for "escapism", though what unites all of the books on this list is a shared, sharp critique of the world that is, whether satirical or serious or both. i hope you also find something you love & are compelled by in this list, especially as a chaotic year comes to a close. if you want more recs, you can check both the above linked tag on my blog, and my substack, where I share monthly media recs!

without further ado, the books:

All Down Darkness Wide by Seán Hewitt

Model Home by Rivers Solomon

Lost Children Archive by Valeria Luiselli

Open Throat by Henry Hoke

The False Sister by Briar Ripley Page @flameswallower

The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty

Amatka by Karin Tidbeck

Someone You Can Build a Nest In by John Wiswell

Inversion by Aric McBay

thanks, as always, for another year of enthusiasm for my book rec special interest, couldn't do it without you :333

tags below! if i didn't tag you, regardless of whether or not we're mutuals, I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! feel free to make your own post and tag me.

@wheatforme @aldieb @campgender @capricornpropaganda @materialisnt

@closet-keys @podcastlesbian @bioethicists @trans-axolotl @punkkwix

@fatfemmalewife @fatehbaz @lesbianlizzybennet @myalgias @sadhoc

@wozapi @csferreirapoet @floral-ashes @stephen-deadalus @querxus

@snoopyisbisexual @metamatar @heavenlyyshecomes @sawasawako

@growtiredofpublicvulnerability @slowtides @grimesapologist @charliejaneanders

[allwaswell16]

All the One Direction fics I read and enjoyed in August 2024. You can listen to my podcast to hear me talk about each of these fics as well as an overview of what was posted on ao3 including the fics on this month’s fic roundup [ @1dmonthlyficroundup ] which you can find here!Please let the writers know if you liked the fics by leaving kudos and comments! Happy reading!

Fanfictional Podcast #65 |  ko-fi | fic recs

- Louis / Harry -

🌤️Your A-Team, Your Endgame by @silverkiiwii

(E, 70k, reality show au) a Next In Fashion au where Louis and Harry are partnered in the competition but they do not get along when they have to if they want to win. Full of fashion, banter, misunderstanding and a whole lot of making each other blush.

🌤️ Groupie Love by CuckooTrooke / @larrydoinglaundry

(E, 45k, m/f) In other words, Louis is a rock star on a world tour and Harry is a regular attendee. They could never work.

🌤️ But I know you by Thingssicant / @slowlyseducedbycurls

(NR, 26k, space) Harry is a journalist, Louis is an astronaut, but it's way more complicated than that

🌤️ You Can't Change The Rolling Tide by LiveLaughLoveLarry / @loveislarryislove

(M, 24k, summer) Louis lives on a tiny island off the coast of England and runs a sailboat touring company. When Niall is sidelined for the summer after his knee surgery, Louis needs a temporary new partner. Who better to fill that role than Harry, recently returned to the island after five years away?

🌤️ At your service, for your usage (series) by @holdingontochaos

(E, 16k, sex work) Louis is a doctor who works so much that he has barely any time to himself for pleasure, let alone to clean his house so he hires Harry as his naked maid and kills two birds with one stone.

🌤️ the past might be painful, but i’m in love with our future by localopa / @voulezloux

(T, 10k, part 2 of trans Louis verse) it takes a lot of convincing for louis to let harry take him to his first pride. harry understands his worries and fears. really, he does. he just wants to show his boyfriend that he doesn’t have to be alone anymore.

🌤️ never just the tip by journeytothepast / @suckerforhome

(E, 6k, omegaverse) Harry believes alphas can't control themselves. Louis proves him wrong.

🌤️ You Put the Boom Boom Into My Heart by @kingsofeverything

(T, 5k, historical) Harry's been trying all summer to come up with a way to show Louis how much he means to him before he leaves for college. Or five times Harry fails to win Wham! tickets and one time he succeeds.

🌤️ The Island by @jaerie

(E, 5k, part 2 of The Wilds) Researchers plucked some of them from their secluded island and transplanted them into an enclosure against their will like a bunch of zoo animals. But they weren't animals and they all had a story of how they got here.

🌤️ Dear Louis by callmenine

(E, 5k, famous/not famous) The one where Harry is a popstar having an existential crises and writes a song for his high school ex-boyfriend Louis after more than ten years of no contact.

🌤️ Let the Feeling Last by @allwaswell16

(T, 5k, unhinged pet fic) Omega Harry thinks the alpha at the grocery store buying a cart full of vegetables must be an amazing chef. He doesn't know that Alpha Louis is feeding all those vegetables to his pet pig.

🌤️ Stars over Amsterdam by @hellolovers13

(T, 4k, exes) Fate in form of Eras Tour tickets forces Louis to meet up with his Ex. Hopefully soon to be Ex-Ex.

🌤️ (on the edge until) you pull me in by @justanothershadeofblue

(E, 3k, fantasizing) His dick is not about to fall off, thank you very much, Niall, but it has been a while since he’s had time for a wank. 

🌤️ i'm going out tonight by @disgruntledkittenface

(M, 3k, established relationship) Louis hasn’t been appreciating his boyfriend Harry. He only realizes it when Harry takes matters into his own hands.

🌤️ I just wanna be yours (wanna be yours, wanna be yours) by @dreaminrainbows

(E, 3k, pwp) Harry studies his sixteen year old self’s face for a long moment and it's truly pathetic how in fourteen years nothing has really changed.

🌤️ the sign on your heart (it's reserved for me) by moon_rose25 / @darkinfinity

(G, 3k, kid fic) The one where Louis Tomlinson is a single dad and is finally allowing himself to start dating. Insert Harry Styles, a charming coffee shop owner who sweeps him off his feet.

🌤️ HOT TO GO! by @allwaswell16

(T, 2k, famous/not famous) When Harry does something weird at the barricade, he leaves Louis’ show devastated and hoping he can somehow make things right. Or the accidental pervert fic

🌤️ Gotta Feeling by @allwaswell16

(T, 2k, tour guide Louis) When Harry's life in Manchester isn't turning out the way he thought it would, he decides to visit his best friend in Mexico City. Maybe Niall can convince him to move halfway around the world.

🌤️ Ice, Ice, Baby by cherrylarry / @beelou

(G, 1k, meet cute) Figure skater Harry takes Louis out on the ice for the first time

- Rare Pairs -

🌤️ Like A Force Of Nature by @reminiscingintherain

(T, 30k, Zayn/Liam) the Heartstopper AU no one asked for.

🌤️ The Grundy County Drag Show Incident by @haztobegood

(T, 3k, Zayn/Liam) Holding a wireless mic in her gloved hand, Veronica Stardust owned the stage. She was one of the most vocally talented drag queens in the Midwest. Part 2 of Grundy County Incidents