#i need more time and they know it but they're basically forcing me back to work anyway
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Hello,
I've been off work for 3 months with horrible depression (not helped by the fact that in that time my cat died of cancer) and my work are not paying me.
I need to be off for longer really, but I can't afford to not be paid any more, especially this close to Christmas, trying to help my mum move her stuff out of the house now she's left my abusive dad, and while I'm still paying off money towards Sage's care for all the testing and medication he had leading up to his death.
I know it's a shit time all round, but if anyone is willing and able to help me out just keeping on top of bills, vet payments, and maybe being able to afford to do a graduated return to work rather than just going back to full time then my PayPal is here and my KoFi is here.
I appreciate everyone who has taken the time to read this and I hope you're safe and as well as can be 💜
#life blogging#the thing is i know next year things are gonna get infinitely better for me#and that is gonna be so so good and welcome#but it is not next year yet#and frankly the way workplaces treat you when youre ill is fucking awful#i need more time and they know it but they're basically forcing me back to work anyway#ugh
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and if i say canon adjacent, ivy inspired jasonxnico fic. i can’t stop you putting roots in my dreamland.
#I WISH TO KNOW THE FATAL FLAW THAT MAKES LONG TO BE MAGINIFICENTLY CURSED is SOOOOO jason coded tbh#anyways. look away if you're immediately put away by the infidelity trope bc i will brush over it#i'm thinking. jason is dead and nico one day just NEEDS to talk/see jason for whatever reason#and he goes to the underworld looking for him and he finds him#and he doesn't propose taking him out because jason wouldn't want that#but they talk#and then nico leaves and then he comes back and then it becomes like a thing#and they start getting closer and closer and the line between the living and the dead is already so blurred for nico but now with jason in#the mix they're basically invisible#and jason is also in a position where he's like?? nico is NOT spending his days with the LIVING because of ME! but then he doesn't want him#to go. eternally sscrficial jason grace letting himself be selfish for once but being in constant struggle because of this#and nico is also like. i want him back i can take him back but i won't do that i respects choices.#and anyways along all of this they're slowly falling in love/realising there was something there that went unaddressed#and there's this lingering sadness surrounding it because if they had just had time maybe maybe MAYBE they would have realised#OHHH its angsty#and i said it borders the infidelity trope because will is just there. 🕴#and technically nico is happy with will. he's ok. but he can't stop jason putting roots in his dreamland.#and because if i would write this (i won't) i would make jasonico as maybe at least crossing into emotional affair territory :)#idk what the conclusion would be? who you think is more insane? would jason accept going back or would nico need to force himself to let go?#bc by not doing so he's also keeping jason from rebirth and/or moving on. which not fair either.#tbh i think the main arc should be jason wanting to live. HE goes to hades to APPEAL for his release. nico is just the support. also a bit#of nepotism i guess take hades' son to appeal to hades :)#THERE'S SO MANY TYPOS HERE OMFG and nothing makes sense#let me get my thoughts straight and i'll type it nicely jesus fucking christ
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I've never had a cat before and I'm hoping to get one soon. Do you have any advice?
Treat a new cat as you would a new roommate. Give them space and time to settle, establish a pattern and a rhythm, and in time they may choose to become friends and spend time with you. Dont force a friendship.
Use simple words and repetition to establish communication. Words like breakfast, treat, snack, lunch, supper, dinner, food, and eat all basically mean, "I am feeding you; expect to be fed", but it's a lot for a little guy to remember. I just say "Dinner" when I mean "cat food is coming", and so my boy knows exactly what I mean when I say it. As a plus, using only one word for snack time means he has no idea what the other words mean, so I can talk about food in front of him without ruling him up.
Pay attention to body language. Cats all have different personalities, and you'll learn their likes, dislikes, and messages over time this way. Son boy here loves anything with plumbing but dislikes getting wet- his favourite blanket to chew and snuggle goes on his favourite chair, and he gives me a specific gesture when he wants me to kneel down so he can jump onto my shoulder.
Read into problematic behaviour. Cats pee in weird places when they're hurting, in distress, or have insufficient of unclean litter box space. Biting, attacking feet , and knocking things off tables often means they're understimulated and need you to play with them, or at least need some kind of enrichment or puzzle to tackle. Tail flicking can be frustration or irritation. Purring is usually good, but may also be self-soothing behaviour to alleviate pain, encourage healing, and relieve anxiety, like over-grooming.
Like children, "bad" behaviour isn't malicious- it usually means there's something you aren't seeing.
Learn how your cat expresses love. Loads of people think cats are uncaring, cruel, and indifferent, but the truth is, they're just not dogs. Spending time near you, showing an interest in tools you're using or projects you're working on, sitting the way you sit, laying on their back, rubbing on your legs, wiping their face on your shoes when you get home- these are signs that your cat is enamored with you. You're their family, they feel safe and protected around you, they're curious about things you enjoy and want everyone to know you're family.
Set reasonable expectations. Again, cats are not dogs.We bred dogs to desire our approval- cats walked into our lives themselves. They have no human-programmed need to fulfill a duty or perform a task to your standards.
Training cats to do tricks isn't as hard as people say, but the willingness or interest in doing the trick is more heavily reliant on personality and mood. Some cats will refuse all but the most basic requests- I'm lucky in that Ollie understands and is willing to do several, provided I don't abuse his trust and he's not crowded or overwhelmed or just bored of doing it over and over in a short period.
Ollie, for example, knows Up to stand on his back legs and hold my hand, Down to get to a surface I indicate, Out to emerge from a closed space, Come to find me where I am, Help? when I'm offering to let him use me as an elevator, Dinner when I understand he's hungry and am getting food, and when I put on his collar he knows to climb into his carrier 'cause we're going somewhere. And he'll do any of these about 90% of the time, either ignoring me or phoning it in when there's something interesting somewhere else, or if he's feeling anxious.
Lead by example. If you dread taking them to the vet, they'll see the anxiety in your body language and behaviour and likely learn to hate it, too. Again using my guy an example, I starred taking him on walks long before his first vet appointment, just to get used to his carrier and leash. Then his first checkup was relaxed and informal, with plenty of treats, and I let him explore the examination room with permission from the tech. Now he loves going, so I'm not stressed about taking him, so I don't stress him out in turn, and the vest doesn't have to deal with a stressed out cat slowing things down and fighting with them.
Make sure your sources are good ones, and also good ones for you. I will recommend Jackson Galaxy's YouTube channel for cat advice because a lot of what he does matches up with what I've learned and know to be true. I don't personally recommend Ceasar Milan because I personally find his methods distressing to recreate regardless of efficacy, so even if that advice was useful, *I'd* be miserable, and it'd just be trading one issue for another.
Have a person who can help. You never know when you might end up out of town overnight unexpectedly, or when your place may need serviced or fumigated, or if you may be called out of town. Before getting a cat, research reliable pet sitters, house sitters, pet daycares, whatever, just in case.
Consider pet insurance. No long spiel here, just think about it. Especially if you don't know your cats ancestry or potenyial health risks. An on top of that, fucking vaccinate them.
Dont let them free roam. At all.
I grew up on a farm with free-roaming barn cats. Do you know how many times child-me cried over having to bury them? Illness, disease, pregnancy, vehicles, other territorial cats, ticks, fleas, litter, poisoned prey, malicious humans, local wildlife, predatory birds, scrap metal, extreme heat, freezing temperatures, tainted water sources, poisonous or venomous critters, getting stuck in small or high places, tapeworms, loose nails, old equipment, falling branches...
I've seen some truly body-horror slasher-movie shit- just truly nauseating visual fuckery- and I'm telling you not to let your cat free-roam.
Leash training isn't hard. Supervised walks aren't hard. Even keeping your cat physically fit and entertained indoors isn't an impossible feat. Don't let your fucking cat fucking free-roam. Fuck
Also read up on foods and plants cats can't do, like every houseplant in existence is toxic it's insane
Anyhow yeah that's like. A couple things I guess
Here, have an Ollie Pic
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You know what, fuck it. I'm going to write my own neglectful yandere batfamily cause everyone else is doing it, but I'm going to do it in a different way.
Yandere Batfam x Neglected, but Defiant Reader
Prologue (Diary Entry)
Warning(s): Mentions of yandere themes, neglect, emotional abuse, mentions of physical abuse, forcing to drop out, attempted guilt tripping, reader is just venting out her feelings
(I made this in the reader's POV to make the whole 'diary entry' thing more sense.)
~~~~~
July 22, 2024
It's funny when someone tells their story.
Only to be told back that it's unrealistic.
Almost as if they're afraid to believe it's real...
Oh, God, that sounded dark.
~~~~~
For everyone who doesn't know,
Bruce is a billionaire who's also a shitty dad
Dick is a dick, like actually
Jason uses his trauma to let all his frustrations on me
Tim is a delusional bitch
Cass was okay until she knocked me to the ground
Damian is just a thing who you want to burn to ashes
Alfred... I guess is just Alfred
~~~~~
I was basically raised as what people would call a 'black sheep'. Kind of like... actually, I don't need to explain all that.
Basically, I was adopted by the infamous Bruce Wayne when I was ten for whatever reason. After the first day of living with him and the family and giving me the new role of Batgirl, everyone just pretended as if I didn't exist.
I tried to interact with every one of them and all I got were "sorry, can't talk right now" and "can you shut up".
Like, WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO THEM?!
Is it because I'm prettier than all of them and had barely any trauma in my past? Seriously, why are people so jealous about these kinds of things?
Bruce really signed all that paperwork for nothing.
Of course, my little ten year old brain would think that if I tried to impress all of them with what I could do, maybe I could gain their attention.
So by the time I was twelve with my ten year old mindset goal in my head, I did nine different after school activities, won over fifteen awards for my achievements, and went out to patrol at least six nights a week.
And none of that worked! Those fuckers wouldn't even spare me a glance!
~~~~~
After a while, you don't see a point in trying your best.
I dropped out of most of the clubs I regret joining, I just laid back in my classes, and most of all...
I quit being Batgirl.
I didn't want to, but like I said, where's the point in that?
So with that, I just gave up on everything and just... stopped trying.
~~~~~
But then one year all of that almost changed?
For the first time ever, I found myself suddenly really pretty, and after a month I entered eighth grade, I was suddenly asked out by one guy, then two, and all the way up to ten!
It was like really cool!
The popular girls became my best friends, more guys would ask me out, and the teachers started pointing out that I was their favorite student, even the ones who weren't my teachers.
It felt like I was on top of everything. That I was special. The world is revolving around me.
Finally, I was in a place to build a great reputation.
And then life was like FUCK THAT!
~~~~~
After the first semester of eighth grade, Bruce was weirdly in my room and he said wanted to have a 'talk' with me.
So, during this talk, he was basically talking about the last three years of me being neglected by him and his family. To be honest, I forgot everything he told me, but honestly, I don't really care.
He also told the others about all this and now they suddenly feel bad which I don't give a shit about. But, I knew he was doing all this to guilt trip me, which was honestly so stupid.
Now, after he dropped that bomb, he told me that I had to drop out of school to do some "bonding time" with the others along with him and the people who actually cared about me didn't really matter at all!
I JUST GOT SETTLED IN!
All I said was "FUCK YOU" and just stormed out of my room with the only thing that I took was my diary that I had for quite a while that I never used before.
~~~~~
So, yeah. I'm currently in the attic, venting my feelings all out on this stupid glitter diary with a random pen that I found on the ground.
But whatever.
It doesn't matter.
Nothing matters...
My life is just a game.
A sick, hopeless game.
#yandere#yandere batfam#yandere batfamily#batfam#batfamily#yandere x reader#yandere platonic#neglected reader#platonic#yandere dc
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141 - First Words
So my baby said his first word the other day and mine and my partners reaction was fucking hilarious. Now I can't stop thinking about the 141 reaction to their baby saying Dada for the first time
Johnny 'Soap' Mactavish would cry, like ugly tears type crying. No he does not care about the snot coming out of his nose, his precious baby just said Dada. He was on the floor playing with baby MacTavish during tummy time, you were in the kitchen cleaning up after you and Soap decided to bake Making another baby. Baby MacTavish is a chatter box like their daddy, always babbling and Soap answered back to baby MacTavish's very interesting story. Soap didn't hear it at first, he thought it was babbling nonsense until he heard it again. The simple word Dada and he's picking baby MacTavish up and rushing to the kitchen
Thay said Dada
Soap holding baby MacTavish up like a prize
Fuck off, you're lying (Your baby was growing up too quickly)
Their first word was Dada
Soap was already crying
Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick would be shocked, swears he's going deaf because no way baby Garrick is talking already. Gaz was bouncing baby Garrick on his knee, pulling funny faces to hear their belly laugh, you were on Netflix trying to find a movie to watch. You were both were in your own world before baby Garrick screamed then ever so quietly said Dada, you and Gaz's head snapped towards each other as you stared at each other
Did they -
I think so
Gaz turning to baby Garrick
Did you say Dada? You can't have, you were born like last week
Babe they're 8 months old now
Nope. Still a wrinkly baby
Captain John Price would just smile, like a smug smile that baby Price's first word Dada. Make's him feel like he's the favourite parent Not realising that when baby Price is upset you can use the fact they can only say Dada against him "Sorry baby, they want you :)". Knowing Price's luck, baby Price will say Dada when he's at work. As soon as you hear the words you're on the phone ringing Price, he picks up at the first ring scared something happened. When you tell him what happened you best believe he's dropping everything to come home, doesn't matter if he's in a very important meeting with Laswell. Baby Price said Dada, he must go home at once
Price coming home and runs straight past you
See, I'm the favourite parent
John Baby... That's not how that works-
Price is ignoring you as he's kissing baby Price's cheeks
I'm gonna buy you anything you want. Just say Dada again. Please
Simon 'Ghost' Riley also cries. He'll cry silent tears as he holds baby Riley to his chest, years ago he never thought he'd have his own family and now he's here. Witnessing his baby's first words. Ghost, being the excellent father he is, basically forced you to finally go out for girls night knowing you needed time to yourself. Ghost couldn't wait for a night of tummy time, playing and just straight up cuddling while watching Bluey. Baby Riley was laid on their daddy's chest, trying to fight sleep but failing miserably and just before baby Riley fell asleep they said Dada as they clutched to Ghost's shirt.
Did you say Dada
Ghost didn't move realising baby Riley is now asleep
God I never thought I'd love anyone more then I love your mummy
Ghost carefully hugs baby Riley tighter
But then you came into my life. Best thing to ever happy to me and your mummy
#call of duty#cod mw2#cod mwii#call of duty mwii#captain john price#captain price#captain johnathan price#simon ghost riley#captain price x reader#kyle gaz garrick#john price x reader#john price#captain john price x reader#johnny soap mctavish x you#johnny soap mactavish#johnny mactavish#soap mw2#soap mactavish#soap cod#john soap mactavish#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley#simon riley x you#cod ghost#ghost call of duty#ghost cod#kyle gaz x you#kyle gaz x reader#kyle garrick
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notsobaddasssoldier!reader who is kinda a cunt
reader who just doesn't give a shit about the 141 rank or title.
"you think just cause your captain of some lil task force i'm gonna bend over backwards for you? be serious."
"cool you're lieutenant...and.... anything else interesting? like how you think halloween is 24/7, or...?"
"oh so it's a big accomplishment you're sergeant at your big age? tell someone who cares."
you're just so... eh about their ranks. but they get some power trip when you call them said rank. makes them feel some sort of way that depsite your snark, you still call them by rank. showing the clear difference of inferiority and superiority between you and them.
till you notice and shut that shet down.
"your so fucking stupid. it's like if i met The Pope. I'm gonna call him Pope because he's The Pope. I still don't give a shit though."
"or like meeting a Doctor and calling them Doctor. I don't give a fuck that the persons a Doctor. I'll still call em it."
"better yet. hate the king. hate the queen. but i still call them the queen and king. because their dumbassary is just linked to their 'ranks'. if you keep annoying me the same is gonna go for you."
you have so much sass and snark that it becomes a truly humbling experience. and it's like - damn. they could put you over their knee and really put you in your place but reader takes things from 0-100 real fucking quick.
"you wanna what you fucking freak?"
"excuse me-?"
"you're so fucking dumb. get a braincell dumb bitch. do it and fucking find out what happens."
"shot me in the head and watch my corpse not give a fuck because I don't."
and when the guys get a lil too fucking serious about putting reader in their place. reader suddenly has a gun pointed at their face. you see what I mean by taking things to 0-100 real quick?
"dummy. really tryna fuck with me when we're surrounded by guns? fuck outta here with that bullshit."
"matter fact I'd just kill myself-"
"NO!" *141*
it's obvious you may be young and perhaps a little too mouthy for your own good but it's clear you're not going to be pushed around.
but it's obvious you ain't here for the 'greater good' and just doing the work to get the paycheck. while the guys find your snark to be really fucking annoying.
it turns out that you definitely have some perks.
you may not be able to hold yourself very long in battle, just a very basic solider with basic skill sets- your mouth and attitude can really work wonders on people.
in particular, the egotistical rookie who things they're all that. taking their sweet time with basic tasks, belittling other recruits who can do the bare minimum. just in general, an asshole. that's when you step in.
"you ain't shit bitch cause at the end of the fucking day turdface, you ain't bullet proof. i can shoot you right now, and all your running and yapping will cease to exist. your corspe will rot. people will stop knowing you as the loudmouth rookie, and you will just become nothing. infact. you are nothing."
*the recruit opens their mouth. you interrupt.*
"Nothing."
*recruit tries again.*
"Nothing."
it's an endless cycle that ceases when your hardened glare doesn't stop and you pick up a rock intending to throw it at the recruit. the blank, dead, serious look in your eyes showing you are more than fucking serious.
what really works wonders though, is they way you aren't worried about putting a superior in their place. the other 141 have basically been beaten in and to not question anything. they have been made to believe they are weapons more than human.
that gets shut down real quick.
you all have just come back from mission, that was grueling. a couple of you were injured. everyone looked worse for wear. dirts, scratches, blood. someone no longer had their vest. a few lost weapons. barely had any inventory. needing food, sleep, and then a long shower shower.
but instead waiting for the task force, was a superior officer, holding the next mission file. a mission they were supposed to be getting ready for and practically leave as soon as they got back.
before price could grab for it, you intercept. grabbing the mission file and throwing it at the superior officers face.
"you giant fucking anal peice of dried solid dog shit. we're not fucking doing that. we just got back from hiding in a fucking forest for three weeks with enemy surrounding us to get intel from a camp- THAT WASN'T FUCKING THERE. so you better turn and take those pretty polished shoes to another task force."
"what is your name, soldier?" *superior officer growls.*
"Dolly Parton. Now Dolly has just worked longer than a nine to five and Dolly ain't got the patience for dealing with a man like you. i got two bullets left. one for you and one for me. and if you think i won't do it- well we can put it to the test now-"
perhaps it was the utter dead look in your eyes, or the gentle yet seething venom in your tone. the superior officer simply growls and turns on their feet, leaving the task force.
it's funny cause you do get the respect, you are barely a good soldier but dang you can get shit done when need be. so price doesn't transfer you. he still keeps you close.
ghost is the one who loves the feral little shit you are. gaz and you talk mad shit about everyone on base. soap just absolutely adores you, you're the little sibling he's always wanted.
a/n: inspired by the feral nature of gen z.
#boowrites#notsobaddasssoldier!reader#notsobaddass!reader x ghost#simon ghost riley#kyle gaz garrick#simon riley#john soap mactavish#captain john price#john price#johnny soap mactavish#notsobaddass!reader x 141#notsobaddass!reader#notsobaddasssoldier!reader x 141#captian price#captain john price x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#john soap mctavish x reader
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NSFW Headcannons: Nightcrawler // Sex
a/n: I'm almost out of ideas for headcannons, I wanted to pump out a few more just because they're easy for me to write and get used to writing specific characters. I promised more of our favorite blue teleporter so, here he is. These are fairly basic, for more descriptive or specific things they won't be in this format, more as actual fics instead of quick headcannons. Written as a gender-neutral reader. I hope you enjoy <3 Not edited please ignore grammar mistakes.
Minors DNI. 18+ under the cut.
Whether it's your first time in general or not, the first time sleeping with Kurt is something he takes very seriously. He wants to make sure you enjoy yourself, and he wants to make sure he doesn't hurt you.
He likes to make sure the set up is all done before you even come into the room. He goes all out for your first time, no hasty habits. He will keep in mind any preferences, but he will probably do something along the lines of candles or any scents you like in the room, soft mood lighting, and making sure everything is perfect.
"I did my best, liebling. Perhaps I have gone overboard..." he would mutter, a little embarrassed, but it was from the good of his heart.
Kurt likes to take his time with you, he begins with massaging you, wanting you to completely relaxed with him. His hands are soft yet firm and know just the right amount of pressure to do when he rubs you. "Relax, I will make sure you enjoy yourself tonight...just melt into me, ja?"
When he turns you on your back, he will lean down, softly kissing you. His lips are gentle and slow, feeling yours without the need to rush. Sensual kisses fill your senses as he continues to press into yours, his tongue shyly caressing your bottom lip before he pushes it inside.
His tongue explores your mouth, your tongue fights his with little force, you let him take the lead. He smiles against your lips as you try to playfully press against his tongue, finding it cute.
When he pulls back, those kisses increase and begin to travel down your body. He leaves hot kisses along your jaw and neck, suckling and biting lightly where he can, but being mindful of his sharp teeth.
The foreplay lasts a long time, he makes sure you have at least one orgasm before moving on to the main event of the night.
His cock is beading, gently rubbing himself up and down your entrance. "Are you ready for me?" he questions, placing a kiss to your temple, his cock head positioning and slowly pressing into you.
He inches slowly, hissing at the tightness, his cheek pressed against yours while his arms hold onto you. His tail cradles you as he sheaths himself to the hilt, he twitches and throbs inside you.
"Ah - mein Gott! You are squeezing so tight..." he rasps softly into you, his hips staying still for a few seconds so you can adjust to him before he pulls back and experimentally gives you one thrust. When he hears you moan, he takes that as encouragement and continues his thrusting at a steady speed.
His hands caress your hips and hold them as his own snap into yours. He lets out soft moans and pants, his thrusts are slow enough for you to feel every inch of him moving in and out of you. The feeling of him stretching you as he moves at such a perfect speed is intoxicating.
He leans over you, his legs press into the back of your thighs as his hips are driven a bit more, his cock pushing inside at a slightly rougher pace. He will go rougher and a little harder after a few minutes, or if you as him to.
"So needy, you have a gluttonous hole, you swallow me..." he looks down and watches himself disappear with each thrust. "You know, mein kleiner schatz, gluttony is a sin~"
He grins as he finds himself driving more and more into you, "Fret not, for I am a priest and I am more than capable of forgiving you of your sins..." he purrs, his fuzzy body gently grinding into yours as his thrusts increase.
He may flip you to a new position, he may not, depending on how intense the sex is becoming. For the most part, he does like to watch your face contort in pleasure, watching you blush and whine for him. He also likes getting the opportunity to kiss you whenever he can.
He makes sure you cum first. He will rub you or jerk you however he can. His hands gently massage your body and find those sweet spots that make you jerk beneath him. He goes until those pretty whines come from your lips and then he keeps it up until you are shaking through a powerful orgasm.
When he finally orgasms, he buries himself inside you and releases there, his jaw slack and his curly hair messy atop his head, his indigo cheeks blushed purple. Those pretty yellow eyes barely open as he stiffens with his orgasm, his back straining as he becomes rigid.
Two panting bodies, he looks down at you and smiles. His nose brushes yours as he shows you affection and love. "Ich liebe dich." he whispers, slowly pulling out and wrapping his arms around you, carrying you to the bathroom.
After some heavy clean up, he gives you a moment alone to do anything you might want privacy for, and he will make sure to ready the bedroom and clean up anything.
"This way, liebe...you were so wonderful...let me take care of you now." he whispers, guiding you to a clean bed and laying you down. He loves to hold you after everything is done, his hands rub up and down your body, any sore muscles taken care of by his gentle massages.
He can be quite fussy after sex, asking if you need a drink or something to eat, if you're comfortable, if you need anything at all. But you like how he is, it makes you feel all the more loved.
Eventually, the evening ends with you two sleeping with one another, you are tucked into his body as he holds you, his arms keeping you cradled against him, his nose buried in your hair or crook of your neck, and of course that tail is always wrapped around you somehow.
Thanks for reading.
*BAMF*
dividers by @/adornedwithlight
#kurt wagner#nightcrawler#kurt wagner x reader#nightcrawler x reader#kurt wagner smut#nightcrawler smut#x men#xmen#x men 97#🎠my works
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intern (ot8) [volume three]
pairing: free use intern!reader x office workers!ateez
preview: getting this type of job feels so wrong. but you need money and hey, they're all hot.
tags/warnings: fem!reader, free use, perv!ateez, monster cocks for all of ateez i fear, it's pretty much all dom!ateez but woosan do like to beg to cum so do with that what you will, ties as restraints, hair pulling, spit kink, spanking (with hands and belts), degrading, praise, pet names (slut, whore, cumdump, doll, baby, princess), throat/stomach bulge, sometimes it's one at a time and sometimes it's five, voyeurism, hand jobs, oral (f+m receiving), vibrator torture, crying, anal, two cocks in one hole who cheered, so many creampies [these are general tags for all parts, not all of these will be in every part]
trigger warnings: if i forgot tags, don't kill me
wc: 3.0k
song recs for this fic: moonstruck by enhypen
a/n: woosan girlies be gentle when knocking my door down
previous - next
san carries you out of the lunch room, strutting straight over to your desk. he acts like your weight is nothing more than that of a cat who has decided to sit on his shoulder. he plops you down onto your comfy office chair (the one you had yet to sit in) and you land with a small “hmf.” you look up at san as he admires you, running his tongue over his teeth. wooyoung appears suddenly behind you, basically breathing down your neck. “don’t get too comfy, princess. i think san has something fun planned for you,” he looks up at san with a mischievous look, lust dripping from his smile.
you have gone through so many different positions in one day that honestly, nothing would surprise you anymore. well, except the fact that you’re learning right now that your chair reclines all the way back like a bed. san drops to his knees and places your legs on his shoulders. he shoves your skirt up so it rests on your waist all bunched up. wooyoung grabs your chin and forces you to look at him towering over you. “sannie is gonna eat your pretty pussy until you can’t remember what day it is. i’m gonna fill your tight throat to the brim until you forget your name. how does that sound?” you don’t even know how to respond to such dirty words leaving such a pretty mouth.
“your speechlessness is full of excitement, so i’m gonna just assume you’re dripping right now. is that about right, san?” wooyoung asks, leaning over to try and catch a glimpse of your sopping core. san groans, drinking in the way that your body twitches. “i’ll take that as a yes. do you wanna know what else we’re gonna do to you?” wooyoung says as san connects his tongue to the skin of your inner thigh. you shudder and nod, wooyoung’s grin growing wider.
“we’re gonna get you on the floor and get you spread wide open,” san says as he trails his tongue higher. “san’s gonna fill you up with his fat cock that has been begging for your hole all day,” wooyoung adds in a whiny tone as san kisses your other thigh, and you whimper. “and i’m gonna reward you with extra stimulation by treating your puffy clit like a lollipop.” wooyoung concludes as san finally connects his tongue to your core and your whole body jerks. your hands race to grab something, or rather someone, since you ended up gripping wooyoung’s thighs like a vice.
wooyoung looks down at you with fake pity before wrestling with his belt and dress pants. he drops them to the floor and smirks at you. “open wide, make me feel good like a well behaved whore,” he demands. you obey immediately, your throat welcoming him as he slides past your lips. your head upside down makes for a smooth entrance for wooyoung’s long cock. he lets out a small whine as he watches the bulge of his dick appear in your throat. he gets harder, if possible, watching the bulge move in and out. “o-oh fuck, it’s like your throat was m-made for my cock,” wooyoung’s whole body shakes slightly in reaction. “wooyo, you’re so talkative today,” you hear from a deep voice across the room. mingi. this is the first time you’ve ever heard him speak.
wooyoung chuckles at his comment. “judging by the way her hips jerk every time i open my mouth, i think she prefers a talkative man. don’t you, my little cumdump?” you attempt at garbling a small ‘yes’ in response but wooyoung is completely blocking your airway. “fair enough. what the whore wants, the whore gets,” mingi replies before going back to typing away at his desk. wooyoung leans down a little to wrap both hands around your throat to feel the way the bulge moves. san and wooyoung act in sync; wooyoung pushes into your throat and san licks a stripe up your core. the whole ordeal is positively mind-numbing.
san dips his middle and ring fingers into your wet heat, scissoring them to spread you out. you roll your eyes back and cough around wooyoung, your legs beginning to shake. wooyoung whines and whimpers as he uses your throat, catching his lip between his teeth and looking at you with teary eyes. “ah fuck, san, i’m gonna cum,” wooyoung announces and san pulls away from your core to glare at him. “if she can hold it when instructed, so can you. you’re not done until i say you are. the pretty baby gets to cum before you do,” san says in a firm tone. you hear a high pitched whimper leave wooyoung’s throat as his cock twitches in your throat. you can feel just how close to his peak he is and you really can’t tell if he’s gonna be able to hold it.
san reconnects his mouth to your core and devours you like you’re the last meal he’s ever going to have. your legs shake and spasm around his head, encouraging him to bring you closer to the edge. your back arches as san adds a third finger into your core, digging at the gummy spot inside you. you move your hands from wooyoung’s thighs to san’s hair. your fingers wrap around his black locks, pulling his head further between your legs. you hear a low chuckle from san as your movements become more desperate, rutting your hips against his face to get more friction.
“san, fuck, i seriously c-can’t hold it much longer,” wooyoung says again. he had stopped abusing your throat and had begun slowly rocking his hips back and forth to try and savour his close orgasm building. you give san’s hair a harsh tug to tell him you’re about to cum and he gives you a nod. “i can’t deny the pretty girl anymore. i want both of you to cum,” san says in a demanding tone. you whole body fills with lighting as you reach your orgasm, pleasure making your vision go white. wooyoung fills your throat at almost the exact same moment, causing you to cough up a mix of semen and saliva.
wooyoung pulls out of your mouth and san pulls your head by your neck to kiss you. the saliva swapped between you is full of a mix of your release and wooyoung’s. san lifts you up off your chair and places you on all fours, your knees still sore from being like this for yeosang and jongho. you feel wooyoung run his fingers over your slit, collecting remnants of your release, before bringing his fingers to his mouth and sucking them clean. “god, you taste like heaven. i could eat you forever,” he comments as your whole body shudders. you hear the sound of san’s pants and belt hitting the floor, signaling to you that you’re not going to be empty for much longer.
wooyoung grabs your chin and tilts your head to make you look at him. his hair falls over his eyes and sticks to his face so beautifully that even just his gaze has you clenching. “you remember what i said we’d do?” he asks, and you nod expectantly. “good girl. i’m gonna leave you alone with san for a bit so he can really enjoy you. i promise i’ll come back soon,” he says before kissing your forehead and wandering away. where the hell was he going? you had no time to consider options before san used one hand to spread you open and align the tip of his cock with your entrance.
you gasp at the sudden contact, turning slightly to stare at him. he had completely unbuttoned his white dress shirt, leaving his defined muscle completely exposed. parts of his shirt were becoming see-through from the sweat dripping down his body. his arms flexed as one hand gripped your waist and the other guided his cock into you. his eyelashes fluttered and his face contorted into the most blissful look as he bottomed out. his appearance alone was making you clench around him like a vice.
you lower yourself down from your hands onto your elbows, arching your back even more. san ghosts his fingers down your spine, goosebumps appearing in his wake. he enjoys the feeling of you clenching and unclenching around him for a while before pulling out to the tip and slamming back in. his actions send your whole body jolting forward, your eyes rolling back into your head. your fingers scratch at the floor, trying to find something to grip onto, and finding nothing.
san starts slowly grinding into you, his strokes slow and deep. the feeling is mind-numbing. you can feel every inch of him rubbing against the sweetest part of you. you hear some shuffling behind you and you turn your head to find that san has completely taken his shirt off, his honey golden skin covered in a sheen of sweat. he has discarded his shirt a few feet away, his focus returning to you. he places both hands on your waist, pulling your hips to his in tandem with his thrusts.
“you're too quiet, make some pretty noises, my angel,” san demands, landing a harsh smack to your ass. you squeal, your body shuddering. “there you go. so fucking beautiful.” he begins to thrust more intensely, more sounds leaving your throat. he was so far in you that you were convinced he was kissing your cervix.
you reach one arm behind you to grip his forearm, your nails digging into the harshly flexed muscle. “looks like someone's enjoying herself,” you hear wooyoung finally speak. he had finally returned from god knows where. wooyoung sits cross-legged on the floor in front of you, lifting your head to look at him. he leans down to kiss you, passion and aggression filling his movements. you bite and suck on his bottom lip as his tongue darts out to catch yours.
he tangles his hand in your hair, pulling your head to follow his movements. he whines against your mouth, his cock throbbing in his pants. wooyoung pulls away from your mouth, his eyes darting up to look at san. “san, do you think she's earned what i promised?” you look back at san in a frenzy, your eyes begging him to say yes. you'd been well behaved and done everything he wanted. san smiles at you, his perfect eyes disappearing into crescents.
“i think she deserves it. she's been such a good fucking girl, haven't you sweetheart?” san taunts you, leaning over you to stroke your hair. you nod excitedly, raising yourself back onto your palms so wooyoung could slide under you. wooyoung’s pupils are blown as he watches you get ready for him. “oh, so eager. what a dirty girl,” he drops to the floor and lays on his back before sliding underneath you. he comes face to face with your already filled core, a soft moan leaving his mouth at the sight.
san begins his slow movements in and out of you once again, your arms already shaking from holding yourself up. wooyoung runs his hands up your thighs, and you shudder at the feeling. he ghosts his fingers over your clit, his fingers brushing san’s cock as it moves inside of you. “i’ve never seen anything more beautiful than you being pleasured, slut,” wooyoung comments as he sinks his teeth into the flesh of your thigh. you squeal, the surge of pain that shoots through your body shocking you a little. “the bulge of san’s cock in your stomach could make me cum just looking at it,” he runs his hand over the part of your stomach that is protruding, san lets out a shaky breath behind you. “fuck, don’t talk about it, i’ll cum.”
wooyoung slowly moves his mouth from the skin of your inner thigh towards your core. he gives your clit kitten licks, your jaw falling open in a silent moan. san speeds up his thrusts, drawing your hips back against his to match his pace. wooyoung wraps his pretty, puffy lips around your clit, sucking on it. wooyoung moves his hands to your waist, holding your body up for you. “come on baby, you know you want my cock back in your mouth,” wooyoung pulls away from your core and waits for you to do what he wants.
your hands fiddle with the button on his pants, pulling at them urgently once you get it open. he lifts his hips off the floor so you can help him tug his clothes off. you get them off just enough to get access to his leaking cock, wrapping your hands around it immediately. your hands move quickly, wooyoung whining under you. “s-slow down, it’s s-still sensitive,” he whines, you ignore his comment. his hips buck up into your hands, seeking more pleasure despite his pleas for you to slow down. he matches your energy by wrapping his lips around your clit again, sucking and licking at it with intense vigor.
wooyoung wraps hair arms around your hips, holding onto you for dear life. “wooyo, i need to fuck her harder,” san says, sounding out of breath. “she’s a slut, so we have to treat her as such.” san’s face contorts into a sinister grin before drawing his hips back and slamming into you. his thrusts are sloppy and desperate for pleasure. wooyoung teases your already full hole with his fingers. “can you take some more, baby? your desperate little hole is desperate to be stretched,” he teases you. you tug on his cock harder in response, a small squeal leaving his throat. “i’ll take that as a yes,” he retorts before shoving a finger in to follow san’s movements.
you squeeze the base of wooyoung’s cock as he thrusts his finger inside you. “fuck, wooyo, be gentle,” you beg, the stretch burning between your legs. “aww poor baby. you didn’t listen when wooyoung told you to be nice, so why should he listen to you?” san smacks your ass a few times in a row, your skin turning red. “add another finger, wooyoung. it’s what she deserves.” wooyoung wiggles another finger into your hole, your whole body trembling. “it’s good that you’re stretching her out now, she’s gonna need it for us,” mingi raises his hand for a hi-five from yunho and finds him glaring at him. “don’t be so vulgar,” yunho comments before going back to his work. “says you?” mingi responds before huffing and crossing his arms.
you hear san chuckle behind you, finding the interaction to be amusing. san regains his composure and begins thrusting into you like a wild animal. wooyoung scissors his fingers inside you, stretching you out even more than you already were. you do your best to tug on his cock while he adds to your pleasure, but your mind is so foggy that you can barely even remember to breathe. you take small gasps of air every few seconds when your brain decides to work.
suddenly, your whole body ignites when wooyoung wraps his pretty lips around your clit again, sucking harder than before, and desperately licking at you to taste you more. “remember how you came for yeosang and jongho? do it again. i know wooyoung wants to drown in you,” san squeezes your hips to give his statement that extra umph. wooyoung responds with a high pitched ‘mhm’ his tongue darting out over your folds in a frenzy. your hands move up and down on wooyoung’s dick faster, wanting to get a release out of him too. “okay, keep going, i-i’m so close,” you say, despite being out of breath.
as if they had spoken to each other telepathically, san and wooyoung focus all of their energy on getting you off. you slap the floor beside wooyoung’s thigh repeatedly, the pleasure making your body move uncontrollably. wooyoung digs his nails into your thigh, moaning and whimpering louder under you. “wooyo, honey, please cum with me,” you say breathlessly and his hips jerk in response. finally, you let the chord in your abdomen snap, san pulling out of you to let your release splash out of you. his jaw falls slack, watching you writhe in pleasure, while wooyoung drinks up your release. he finishes in your hand swiftly after, coating your hand in his cum.
without warning, san shoves back into you, his thrusts fast and sharp. “let me fill you up, baby. i wanna see my cum dripping out of your perfect cunt,” wooyoung slides out from under you to observe the end of your pleasurable ordeal. san leans over you to whisper sweet praises in your ear. “you’re so pretty. so, so good to me,” he kisses the shell of your ear gently. “nothing will ever feel better than you. fuck, your cunt was made for my cock,” you nod along to his words as you feel another, less intense orgasm building. “i can feel you clenching. do i make you feel so good that you wanna cum again? my cock slut, cum whenever you want. i’m almost there,” his cock twitches inside of you, leaking pre-cum all over your walls.
“please, cum with me, pretty baby,” he pleads and you can’t help but obey. he fills you up so perfectly, and you cling to him for dear life. you hear some shuffling around behind you as san pulls out and goes to collect his shirt. you collapse onto the floor, completely worn out. you press your cheek to the cold floor, your whole body feeling sore and spent. you hear someone clear their throat behind you.
“don’t get comfy. we’ve been waiting.”
© lomlhwa 2024
taglist:
@nopension @cursedeastern @certifiedmoa @tunafishyfishylike @4ngel-f4ngzz @mingisdimple @anxiousskylar @sanhwalvr @querencieaz @vtyb23 @dawn-iscozy
#lomlhwa#ateez#ateez smut#atz#atz smut#choi san#jung wooyoung#choi jongho#kang yeosang#jeong yunho#song mingi#park seonghwa#kim hongjoong#choi san smut#jung wooyoung smut
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i took 357191027r6392936446322736432947372 psychic damage from the Makarov fic so you gotta write reader being rescued, healed, rehabilitated and loved by the task force. imagine them teaching reader to be their own person or letting him top without any commands or punishments. reader would be whining like a puppy who doesn't know what it's doing and would be so cute and fearful looking for reasurance when fucking into a task force member it would be so cute
lol idk dude. I was intending to do the fic as a one off to satisfy my puplay kink but it's now started to rot my brain even more lol. If I did continue it, I don't know if I'd want a happy ending or an angsty one (omfg imagine going through all the healing and rehab and experiencing love only for one word from Makarov to have you going back to him without question)
So tell me ya'll if you want me to turn the one shot into a longer fic lol, but for now here's some headcannons, ideas/ whatever and some porn
CW:NSFW, rough anal, Simon x reader with Price watching, dom/sub.
I can't imagine Hound would be happy about the 'rescue' considering everything and definitely would be resistant to rehab (Hound biting ppl and getting muzzled lol) that dogheaded asinine stubbornness coming to bite him in the ass. I headcannon Hound to have already been violent when he was under Price's command but Price kept Hound in check(if anyone's seen that young ghost and price comic with him being compared to a fighting dog it's kinda like that).
Makarov didn't need to do much and just played into the aggressive tendency to make Hound as they are now. The more violent the reaction hound would make, the more attention and praise he'd get. Also I'm just a sucker for dog like characters that are unhinged. That have no moral compass except for the one they're loyal to and will do whatever they ask.
So the task force members would have their hands full with Hound that's basically an aggressive fighting dog taken straight out of the pit. Also I'm still thinking whether the 141 would try to steer Hound away from the pup/dog like mentality Makarov conditioned them into, or if they would try to redirect it by calling Hound 'pup, boy' etc, instead of 'dog' like Makarov did.
Also the grief Price would feel to see the man he thought was dead turned into that would break his heart. I don't know if I'd want him to crack down on trying to rehab hound, or let a lot of things slide because he's scared of fucking you up more.
But also like rehabed fighting dogs turn out to be the sweetest animals and Hound just going from this 'I will bite your throat out' to just a gentle giant that's just happy to be able to touch or hug someone without needed permission. . . but he can still bite a throat out.
Also I 1000% swear that Makarov's a whore and would have trained reader to have enough stamina to fuck him all night long so the task force would get pounded into next year lol.
This is questionable cannon and non-confirmed lol you just got me brain rotting with the cute pup part and this came out. Rough and quick.
CW:NSFW
You feel like you will die; heat burns through your veins, sweat crawls down your skin and makes your hair stick to your forehead. Your hands grip Simon's bruised hips, holding them up for him as you pound into him. "Please-" You barely manage a small whimper, hiding your face in Simon's shoulder.
Simon's body quivers beneath you, limp and boneless, a wet hole for you to use. He's as sweaty as you, rough grunts and half-formed swears leaping from his lips every time your hips meet his ass in a bruising thrust. He's the closest to you in size, albeit still smaller, which makes it easier for him to take your size than the others. His insides are a sweltering heat around your cock, fucked into a loose sloppy hole that would gape if you pulled out, muscles still doing their best to squeeze you every time you nail his prostate.
It makes you feel ashamed how long it took you to find it. Mounting anyone but Makarov feels wrong, you're not sure how fast or how deep to go, this current rough pace making Simon the most vocal since you began. You feel him cum again, walls clenching tightly for the first time in a while as you force him into spurting what's left in his empty balls.
"Pl- sir, I- please, please," You can't help but hiccup, your nails leaving crescent bruises in his skin as you just pound him through his orgasm. It's his fourth one.
"What's wrong son?" Price's words barely get through the fog of need in your skull, more little whimpers splitting from your lips. "Don't you want to let go?" Tears blurry your vision, you can barely see his face from where he's resting Simon's head in his lap.
You can't cum. Your balls are so full they feel like they'll explode any second, cock throbbing to finally shoot your load but no matter how harshly you thrust into the willing hole beneath you. It feels like those times Makarov would put a cock ring on you, but worse, now it's your own body refusing to give you release. You haven't earned it.
"Please-" You repeat, because that's the best your mind can come up with, your hips stuttering as overstimulation stabs your nervous system like a knife. "I-please, fuck- I can't." You force out, forcing yourself to return to the punishing pace, your pelvis starting to go numb like it would a few hours into Makarov using you as a living dildo.
Price's fingers are disgustingly gentle as they curl into your sweaty hair, making you look up at him with soft pressure on your scalp. There's no bite to his touch, no pain, it's too good for a thing like you.
You'll thank what god exists that Price seemingly understands your problem, "Oh, son." You hate the hint of sorrow in his tone, you hate yourself more for how it makes your heart pound in your ears. "Here, let me" He whispers, his other hand sliding down to your naked neck.
The lack of any collars around your neck still disgusts you every waking moment, still makes you feel wrong, bad dog. His fingers wrap around your throat. They're too loose to be a proper collar, but it lets you breathe easier, his palm warm and big enough to completely cover the 'V.M' tattooed on your skin.
"Go on, that's a good boy." He whispers, "Cum for us." Price orders, kissing you so softly it disgusts you, like heaven wrapped in thorns.
You feel fresh tears spill down your tears as the dam not letting you cum is finally torn down. You hiccup your 'thank you sir's against his lips as you spill inside Simon. You can just distantly hear Simon groan as you dump your cum into his sloppy hole, muscles weakly fluttering around your cock as you roll your hips, fucking your cum deeper into him, just the act of cumming hurting almost as much as being denied, your balls aching with every spurt of cum.
You collapse on Simon, pushing the breath out of his lungs, as boneless as him. You don't struggle when Price rolls you to your side, your cock slipping out. Cum and lube gushes out from his hole like a firehose, flooding the small space between you two, his rim red and irritated, muscles weakly fluttering around nothing as they try to close.
You try to thank him but you slur your words into his skin, feeling the muscles in his abdomen quiver as you huddle closer and wrap your arms around him, your chest pressed flush to his back. You expect him to pull away, Makarov hated being vulnerable like this longer than he needed, but all Simon does is grunt and tip his head back so you can hide your face in the space between his shoulder and neck.
"You olright Simon?" Price asks, brushing a hand through your sweaty hair for a few seconds before you feel him softly wiping away your spend from you two.
"Fuck," Simon breathes out, voice scratchy and rough. "Are we sure Makarov's human?" His hand reaches up to scratch your scalp as you kiss one of the numerous bite marks you left on him. His skin is a canvass of black and blue bruises, your bite marks starting to clot across his body. "Shit, I can't feel my legs."
His words feel like a slap in the face, and you don't notice how you let out a small whimper, your hold tightening. This is it, you'll have to let him go soon, he'll order you to leave like Makarov always did.
"None of that son." Price's voice is calm in your ear, rubbing soothing circles between your shoulder blades. "You did good."
Simon hums, his fingers running lower to scruff you, "Mhm, yeah," His words are slurred, exhaustion weighing on both of you. "Best snog I've ever had." He grumbles, and you don't doubt he won't admit it in the morning, but for the moment, as you feel yourself slowly drift off to sleep, you let yourself enjoy the praise, the warmth of human touch, the care you can feel in both of them.
This is starting to feel nice.
#gnome's tea break#gnome correspondence#cod mw2#x reader#male reader#top male reader#trinkets from the hoard#captain john price#simon ghost riley x reader#cod simon riley#simon ghost riley x male reader#captain john price x male reader#captain john price x reader#Hound-reader#Good Dog fic
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Hey blue! How are you? I just wanted to say that i LOVE your OC Hedwig. When could we get more of her please? (Oh and i'm not forcing you to write about her right away ofc, take your time!!<33)
Let her burn
Female!yandere x reader
Summary: someone is trying to take you from Hedwig, and she will not allow it, she will watch them burn.
Warnings: basically assault, reader blaming themselves, arson, public humiliation, hitmen, bully mentality, fake friends
Word count: 3.4k
The sun is out for once and everyone in school — even the ones you would classify as allergic to the sun — is outside in the school yard. You and Hedwig’s group of popular rats have occupied one of the tables with benches. You're sitting on the bench and Hedwig right above you on the table with her face turned upwards, eyes closed. The others talk about parties they're invited to, what they're going to buy with the money they've made, what clothes look good and what makes them nauseous — extra points if the clothes already exist on a person in a fifteen meter radius.
You stand up. Hedwig turns down her head and looks at you through her sunglasses.
“I'll go buy a juice from the vending machine”, you say. “The sun makes me thirsty.”
She's about to grab her handbag and join you, but you shake your head.
“You can stay, I'll be back in a minute”, you say.
“Are you sure?” she asks hesitantly.
You nod and turn to walk before she has a chance to protest. You need to get away from Hedwig and her friends' constant shittalk. You've never heard Hedwig join in on their degrading teasing, but she has her own reasons for you wanting some minutes to yourself. Reasons that others are jealous of you for.
You walk into the school and breathe out, run your hand through your hair. Deciding that if you don't want Hedwog to suspect that you ditched her and her friends because of their presence, you make your way through the empty corridors to the vending machine and take out the wallet that Hedwig gifted you. You pop a few coins into the slot and hover your finger over the juice option.
“Y/N”, a voice says.
You turn your head to one of the girls that hang out in Hedwig’s group, Noelle. She's in the cheerleading team — captain, even, if you're not mistaken — and is always judging the other girls on the team. You hear about it at lunch every single day. Confused, you look at her. What could she want you? She has never wanted to speak with you before, always pretended that you don’t exist … or at least that’s what you thought.
“Uhm … hi”, you say and glance behind you, to see if someone else had sent her.
“‘Uhm … hi’”, she chuckles, taking a step forward. “Is that the best you can do after all the time we’ve spent together? You act if this is the first time we’ve met.”
“Technically it is. You’ve never tried to speak to me before.”
“And you’ve never tried to speak with me either, not only my fault.”
You turn around and press the right button for the juice and watch it fall down from its shelf. You can hear Noelle move closer behind you and you’re not sure why your heart skips a beat, and why you’re suddenly on high alert. Maybe it has something to do with the students who have hurt you because of your relationship with Hedwig, or maybe the fact that you know how Noelle acts. You’ve never liked her.
“You know … if Hedwig hadn’t been so quick to snatch you, I’d given you a shot”, she says, suddenly too close to you for your liking.
You can’t help but be … surprised?
“Really?” you question before you have time to stop yourself.
“Of course”, Noelle says as if it was obvious and that you were stupid for not recognizing it, making you feel stupid.
“I uh … didn’t know.”
Noelle scoffs out a laugh and you want nothing more than to leave, but you don’t want to be impolite to her, don’t want to give her a reason to talk bad about you … but you have a feeling that’s going to be inevitable. You squeeze the juice packet like a stressball.
“We should go back out”, you say and try to walk past her, but she grabs your arm.
“I won’t get to talk to you while we’re out there”, she complaints. “Hedwig’s so fucking insecure. She can’t even let you talk to anyone else without becoming jealous.”
You’ve never been this uncomfortable before. You’re frozen in place, confused on what to do. Noelle is Hedwig’s friend and you don’t want to upset her, but you don’t wish to conversate with her any longer.
You only manage to mutter one excuse that actually lets you go. “I have to pee.”
“Two deciliters of sugar …”, Hedwig reads aloud and grabs the sugar package. “Should we do a little more? Just in case? I don’t want the pie to become bitter.”
“Why would it be bitter?” you question from the other side of the kitchen aisle.
Hedwig looks up from the deciliter cup she’s holding, looking clueless. “Rhubarb is bitter, isn’t it?”
“Yes, but I don’t think the pie will be bitter.”
“Let’s just add a little more … just in case.”
Your eyes glue onto the trees outside the window, replaying today’s events. You haven’t told Hedwig about yours and Noelle’s conversation, not sure if you should. Hedwig can’t stand knowing that other people could have an interest in you, and she can’t let things go easily. If you tell her this, that could be harmless, she might go around dreading it for weeks … which will go out on you too. But it feels wrong to keep it to yourself. Noelle basically hit on you … shouldn’t you let your girlfriend know? But what if Hedwig thinks that you liked having Noelle basically hit on you? What if she becomes mad at you?
“Sweetheart?”
You flinch and look up. Hedwig’s looking at you with worried eyes from across the kitchen aisle.
“You aren’t listening”, she says quietly and lets go of the whisk. “Are you okay? Did something happen?”
“No”, you say and shake your head. “I’m just tired. My head hurts.”
You lower your head to avoid looking at her. You feel dirty, somehow, as if you have betrayed her even though you didn’t want to talk to Noelle. Besides, you didn’t do anything, right? Why can’t you look her in the eye?
Hedwig walks around the kitchen aisle and cups your cheeks in her hands, directing it up to her. She runs one of her hands through your hair.
“My poor girl/boy”, she coos with a pout. “Do you want something? A cup of tea?”
You nod. Hedwig smiles and lets you go. She walks over to the marble kitchen counter and turns on the kettle. You’re presented with a cup of breakfast tea just a few minutes later. Hedwig hugs you from behind and kisses your cheek before leaning her chin on your shoulder.
“You will get some rhubarb pie soon, okay?” she says.
You nod. Hedwig continues to whisk things together as you watch and slowly sip your tea. A message notification pops up on your phone, from an instagram profile you recognize. You don’t follow it, because you’re not allowed to follow anyone else but Hedwig and your family, but you see who does. The profile picture is taken on school grounds, in the cheerleading uniform.
“meet me tmr in the music room at 11 i wanna tell you something”
You stare at your screen, feeling your body go numb.
“Y/N!”
You flinch again and look up to meet Hedwig’s eyes. They’re burning with rage and worry.
“Why aren’t you listening to me?” she asks and frowns. “I’m talking to you.”
“I’m sorry”, you reply. “What did you say?”
“Can you open the oven?”
You get up from your chair and walks over to the oven, grabbing the handle.
“Be really careful”, Hedwig says. “It’s hot. Don’t burn yourself.”
You open the oven, but your hand lingers for too long, burning the side of it. You shriek and jump back, clutching it with your other hand.
“Oh, my Gosh, Y/N!” Hedwig exclaims and rushes the pie into the oven. “I told you to be careful!”
She closes the oven and hurries to wash your hand under a stream of cold water.
“What is with you today?” she asks worriedly. “You’re not yourself.”
“I’m just tired”, you lie.
“Is that all? Really?”
“And my head hurts. I told you.”
“Y/N-”
“I just need to rest.”
Hedwig sighs and pulls you with her to the bathroom where you’re sat down on the toilet seat while she looks for bandaids. You feel oh, so guilty. Hedwig takes care of your hand and gives it a soft kiss. She looks you in the eye in a way that makes your stomach twist. You want to tell her about her friend, but you can’t predict the outcome.
“You would tell me if there was something going on … wouldn’t you?” she asks slowly.
You can’t bring yourself to answer. If you open your mouth, your voice will fail you. Instead, you choke back your words and give her a small nod. It looks like she wants to say something, tell you that she doesn’t believe you, but keeps quiet.
She curls up closely in your arms that night. If you try to remove your arms, she’s quick to pull them back, as if she’s assuring herself that you’re still here — with her. She’s always curled up in your arms at night, with her head on your chest, but tonight her embrace feels even tighter.
The days go by. Noelle seem to pop up whenever you’re alone, which has made you stay closer to Hedwig than usual. She doesn’t seem to mind it. She holds your hand while talking to someone else, nuzzles up in class, always keeping close. But she looks at you in a way you can’t understand, as if she’s waiting for you to say something, impatient yet scared of what’s to come.
And one day, when you’re walking to the bathroom, you hear her voice again.
“Stop ignoring me”, Noelle says angrily.
You turn around to look at her and gulp. Why do you feel so small? Why does she scare you?
“I’m not ignoring you”, you say exhaustedly. “I just don’t want to talk to you. We have nothing to discuss. Why do you keep on insisting?”
“Because I know that I’m a much better girlfriend than Hedwig could ever be. I want to be your girlfriend.”
“Okay? But I don’t want you-”
“You don’t seem happy with Hedwig anyway.”
You flinch. “That has nothing to do with you, so please just let it be. I want to be left alone. Things will be weird in the group if you continue with this.”
“I'm not the one making it weird, if you just accepted to talk with me then-”
“You don't want to talk about anything, though? You just want me to break up with Hedwig! I’m going back now. Move”
Suddenly everything feels too fast. Noelle grabs you and pushes you up against the wall. You yelp and try to push her off, but her cheerleading activities have built her muscles that overpower you. For a moment, you’re absolutely terrified. Before she has the chance to do anything, however, she's ripped off of you and thrown to the side. Shocked, you look to the side, seeing your girlfriend walk in front of you — which, if anything, makes you even more shocked. You have never been happier for Hedwig’s clingy behavior.
“No, get your fucking hands off of them!” she exclaims jarringly and gives Noelle a harsh push to make sure that she gets farther away from you. “Back off! Are you out of your mind?! Who do you think you are, touching my boyfriend/girlfriend? Absolutely insane! Have you no fucking manners?”
She takes up her phone in her shaking hands, about to call her father.
“I regret ever befriending you, oh my God”, she spits. “I will make sure you pay for this-”
“No, wait, Hedwig”, Noelle pleads, suddenly pathetically aware of what she’s done. “I'm sorry.”
“Oh, so now you’re sorry, huh?” She looks up from her phone, shooting lightening at the other girl. “Not when you texted my girlfriend/boyfriend behind my back? Or when you demanded them to break up with me? But now that you’re caught you’re sorry?! You absolute scum.”
She had seen the messages? You lower your eyes, feeling that horrible shame creep back.
“I don’t ever want to see you near them again”, Hedwig spits. “Trust me, I will let everyone know what you’ve tried to do. Believe me.”
“I won’t do it again”, Noelle says quickly. “Hedwig, please, come on-”
Hedwig grabs your hand tightly and pushes past her.
“Move”, she demands darkly and drags you out into the sunlight.
Hedwig doesn’t let you go until she has pulled you far away from all the other students, until you’re hiding by the canteen delivery entrance. Hedwig is shaking from head to toe, her hands trembling too much to navigate her phone. She sobs harshly, tapping the screen violently until she throws it against the ground with a scream. You flinch.
“H-Hedwig …”, you say hesitantly. “I’m sorry.”
Hedwig’s eyes dart at you in disbelief, offended that you even thought that any of this oculd be your fault.
“N-No, Y/N-”, she sobs, choking on her own tears. She grabs your hands before rambling. “You didn’t do anything wrong, I’m not mad at you, I promise.”
“How did you … know?”
Hedwig wipes her runny nose with the sleeve of her school uniform and hiccups through sobs. “W-When you were sleeping I went into your phone, because I thought that you were acting strange and—and I saw her messages. And when I saw that she went after you to the bathroom I had a feeling that she would—would do something. I’m going to make her pay. I’m going to ruin her life.”
“Isn’t that a bit extreme?”
Hedwig shakes her head firmly. She hugs you tightly, hiding her face into your shoulder. You’re unsure what to do, but eventually place your arms around her.
“I w-want to go home”, she sobs. “I don’t feel well.”
And you do.
Hedwig sits down on her bed, clutching her phone in her hand. You can’t catch her attention, even though you try to call out her name.
“Hedwig, what are you doing?” you ask for the fifth time.
Finally, she looks up from her phone.
“I’m telling everyone in the groupchat”, she says. “I promised that everyone will know what Noelle did.”
With Hedwig’s contacts, soon the entire school will know, you think.
“She made a mistake”, you say. “A very idiotic mistake, but is it really worth this?”
“She was a friend”, Hedwig spat. “She knows very well that you and I are dating and she decides to just … disregard that? No, she deserves it all.”
You can feel the air in the room get switched with something poisonous. You can’t breathe.
“I think I should go home”, you say and get up from the armchair.
Hedwig’s head flinches up towards you.
“No!” she gasps. “Please don’t go!”
She lets go of the phone, sprints up from the bed and hugs you.
“Please stay”, she begs weakly. “Please.”
“I can’t take more of this silence.”
“I-I’ll put on a movie! You can watch whatever you want, just please stay here. Don’t go.”
You’re soon cuddled up in bed with Hedwig having her arms around yours, still tapping away on her phone in silence.
The very next day when you come to school, everything seem to have changed. People are looking at the two of you and you can tell, by the pitiful looks in their eyes, that they know what happened yesterday. Even though it wasn’t your fault, you feel like you’re in the wrong and that everyone else think so too.
You meet up with Hedwig’s friend group who immediately tells her how they've always thought that there was something off with Noelle and how disgusting she is. Yesterday, they all loved her. And suddenly they have felt off about her for so long? You fight the urge to roll your eyes.
You look at Hedwig in disbelief. Do you hear this?
Her eyes twitched. Oh yeah.
Her grip on your hand tightens.
While you’re talking, you see how Noelle enters the school yard. She has dark circles under her eyes and looks … small. You almost feel bad for her. The group gives her nasty looks.
You don’t see the small ‘I-told-you-so’ smile on Hedwig’s face. She drinks it all in, sunbathes in her misery. But it’s not enough. She has humiliated her in front of the entire school and ruined her reputation … but it’s not enough. The sight of her makes Hedwig’s blood boil. She wants her gone, removed out of her sight. Wants her dead.
She had promised herself not to do it again, but she can’t let Noelle come and go like this. What if she somehow manages to fix her life and reputation? What if she starts a new school and no one knows about what she’s done and starts to like her? She has to disappear.
Hedwig looks at you and sighs. You are worth it.
“I have to go to the bathroom”, she whispers. “Can you come with me?”
You nod. While Hedwig goes into the bathroom, she takes up her phone and calls the number she has hidden away behind a contact name called ‘Abbe’s Bakery’. She holds the phone to her ear. But this contact is neither named Abbe or owns a bakery.
“Hedwig, it was a long time ago”, a male voice says on the other side of the line. “Why do you suddenly need me again?”
“My relationship is threatened again”, she says in a hushed tone. “I need to get rid of the threat. You have to help me.”
“Sure, what do you want me to do?”
“I want you to burn her in.”
That night when you’re sleeping soundly beside her, she crawls out of bed, making sure not to wake you. Oh, God, if she wakes you … she wouldn't forgive herself. You look absolutely gorgeous when sleeping. No soul in the world is allowed to disturb your peaceful slumber. Hedwig wants nothing more than to cuddle up beside you, hold you tightly in her arms and drift away to another dimension, but she has to make sure the girl pays for what she did.
“I'll be back soon”, Hedwig whispers, knowing full well that you can't hear her. “I will make sure nothing ever happens to you. You will never have to worry as long as I am here.”
She kisses your forehead as softly as she possibly can to not wake you up. She tucks you in and sneaks out of her room. Her heart swells with adoration for you. It only makes her more certain. She has to do this — for you. For your safety. And for her own sanity.
Hedwig wears a black hoodie, pulls the hood over her head and makes sure that none of her hair will be visible and quietly makes her way out of the mansion and runs past the gates. She doesn't take a car or scooter, scared that any security cameras in the city will catch her registration. She runs through the night, not wanting to miss the show. The only thing keeping her company is the sound of her own breathing and her shoes hitting the asphalt underneath her.
She arrives just in time. Red, yellow and orange flames has started to lick at the house on the other side of the road and is quickly embracing it. The flames climb higher, reaching for the moon. Hedwig can hear screams from inside, hears glass being broken … and all she does is smile. She revels in the sight.
You deserve it, Hedwig thinks. You should never have tried to take my partner from me.
She decides to leave before neighbors and firefighters start to come running. It’s with a smile that Hedwig returns to her room and takes you in her arms. You whimper in your sleep and she’s quick to hush and stroke your hair.
“Don’t wake up, it’s okay”, she whispers and kisses your cheek. “Everything is okay now, you’re safe. You’re okay.”
She smiles widely. Everything is okay now.
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere imagines#yandere drabbles#yandere oc x you#yandere oc x reader#yandere fics#yandere stories#female yandere#yandere rich girl
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I’ve seen your reblog ‘“i’ve been thinking about you all day” as they’re filling your pussy’ and I was wondering if it was okay to request this with Jordan Li (established relationship)
NIGHTS LIKE THESE
pairing: jordan li x (f)reader
contents: foreplay, p in v, oral, this is very soft, it’s basically fluff with smut, both of their presenting forms involved, everyone is love sick and clingy idk | wc: 860
note: they're everything to me!! i have something much longer in the works for them but i needed to write something quick and yearny.
Your wrists are pinned above your head, their fingers twined with yours as they hold you in place, as if you’d ever escape them, leave them, or try to.
As if you could go anywhere with their body pressed against yours and their hips moving between your thighs.
Slow thrusts that make you feel every inch of them moving inside of you. Fucking you at that languid pace that comes from the frustration of long days and the yearning that pricks at one’s heart from being separated for too long.
Course work and keeping your rankings are chores in and of themselves, but living up to the expectations it sets is even harder. So if a day goes by and Jordan can’t have you pressed up against them, at their side, or at the very least your nose in your test books laying against the other sprawled on their bed, each of you doing your own thing: their day just doesn't feel right.
Doesn’t feel normal if they can’t pull you to the side in the hall and press a kiss on your lips.
Can’t get the death glare you always give them when they forget to eat lunch because they were too busy helping Brink, and you surprise them with dinner and dessert—the dessert usually forgotten and turns into you between their legs or vice versa.
Their days aren’t normal unless you’re in them.
They haven’t felt normal since the two of you decided to try this. To be together.
“You’ve rewired me,” they mumble against your shoulder as the two of you try to fall asleep one night. The clock on your nightstand glowing 1:00AM in big, haunting letters. Your night supposed to be spent working, but there are only so many sneaking glances and innocent touches against skin before you are both done pretending you want to do anything besides have the other naked and against you all day.
And you know that they’ve rewired you too.
Made the fucked up in your life a little less fucked, made the days easier to endure when there’s the constant pressure of greatness looming over you.
You could crash and burn, and you know you’d still have their support, just as they would have yours. And that’s a higher score than rankings could ever give you.
It’s rare the two of you will go a day without seeing each other, without ending up pressed together in bed—weed filled lungs laughing until the haze lolls you to sleep and you’re waking the next morning to Jordan’s alarm clock and the shifting groan of both their forms pulling their pillow over their head. Pulling you back down into bed when you actually do something crazy like get up and not lay with them for five more minutes.
But nights like these make up for days when you are both swamped and Brink needs Jordan for something, and you are stuck alone with your nose in a book or forcing Marie and Emma to get Vought A Burger with you.
Nights where there’s no rush. No need to go fast and get off as many times as your body aches for—as many times as the other wants to swallow and taste the pleasure each time you come against them, on top of them, or inside of you. Like you’re both dying of thirst, and only the others come will do.
These nights are slow. Savored. Like you’ve been away at war rather than occupied over a span of twenty four hours.
Jordan kisses you achingly slowly these nights. Let’s their tongue linger in your mouth for longer than normal, nipping at your bottom lip with gentle teeth. Their fingers stripping you of your clothes like they need to press their lips to every bit of skin they free.
And when their tongue finally makes contact with your pussy it feels like you can finally breathe. Like you’ve been holding your breath for days—all night—for them to finally soothe the ache that they’ve caused.
Their hips buck against the air when you switch positions, and your tongue presses between their thighs. A slow tease of teeth and tongue tracing down their hip bones until you’ve reached where they’re soaked, or hard for you.
Neither of you letting the other come until Jordan is inside of you.
Until you’re both sighing from that first initial push inside, the head of their cock easily fills you with how wet you are—how wet they’ve made you. Gasps breathed into mouths from that first slow roll of their hips.
It’s heady and fucking torturous, and you love it.
You both do.
“I’ve been thinking about you all day,” they murmur against your lips. Their fingers flexing against yours as they keep them above your head, as they completely take control of your body and show you just what they’ve been thinking about. “You take up every part of my brain, and it’s a problem, but I fucking love it.” They moan into your mouth; roll their hips in that way that has air whooshing from your lungs and your pelvis pushing up to drive them deeper.
#jordan li x reader#jordan li x you#jordan li smut#gen v fic#jordan li imagine#gen v fanfic#jordan li fic#jordan li fanfic#jordan li x y/n#gen v smut#jordan li
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Who Killed Goro Akechi?
Titled thus because I was just going through the scene right after Mementos merges with reality, after they've failed to defeat the grail, and "Igor" tells Akira that he's lost the game.
And I'm like, ok, I've seen this a fair few times before. I know the script.
But then I was paying attention, and I just went WAIT WAIT WAIT HANG ON A MINUTE HERE.
"In accordance to the game's rules, the defeated must pay a price."
"Your life is forfeit."
"I sentence you to be executed."
And I was just... hang on. There's been more than one player in the game. If we go back to the earlier lines, "Igor" also says "You were mean to bring change to mankind, but it seems that was too much for you."
In a sense, all of this could also be applied to Goro Akechi.
Akechi was also forcing mankind to react and to change, albeit via chaos and uncertainty rather than encouraging people to stand on their own two feet the way the Phantom Thieves were trying to.
And what happens in the engine room?
Akechi loses the game.
He realises that Akira and the PT fooled him, and when he tries to get the better of them one last time, he fails. We often talk about how after he was defeated he "almost went over to their side" - but isn't that another aspect of his "defeat" in Yaldabaoth's eyes? Akechi admits, effectively, that he accepts the Phantom Thieves' way of doing things over his own.
And it's here that we get Cognitive Akechi, who comes in and starts talking about how the Captain (Shido) sees him, gives him an option to rejoin (or for the PT to switch sides), and.... hm, isn't that familiar?
Here's Caroline saying "If that's what our master wishes..." with Akira having a response tree of-
-"You're going to execute me?" -"Are you serious?" -or just plain being unable to speak (he could also be unspeakably angry, but he seems far more scared than angry, here).
Next, Akira refuses to die, because he has people relying on him.
I'm reminded of how with Akechi, once he's behind that bulkhead door, if you haven't finished his confidant he'll say something to the effect of "So my final enemy is a puppet of myself, how fitting."
If you have maxed his confidant? You get Joker telling him he can't die yet, as he has a promise to fulfil ("I'll hold onto your glove") with the implication that it's something that Akechi can use as motivation to want to keep living.
In both, it's "I can't die, I have a reason to live, and that reason is at least one other person."
When the twin wardens try to "execute" Akira, now in his Joker attire as his will of rebellion has manifested, Justine says "If our master orders so... then it cannot be helped..."
I'm reminded of how Cognitive Akechi was a being of pure servitude toward his Captain (master), Shido. If the Captain willed it, he'd even die for him.
This one feels similar, because the twins were never supposed to have "execution" as part of their duties at all, and both parties were pushed into a sense of unfailing loyalty to someone who never cared for them, and who warped their duties to something wrong.
In fact, I just went back to confirm the lines for Cognitive Akechi, and-
Yup.
Top is Cognitive Akechi saying "Captain Shido's orders... He has no need for losers." and the lower one is "Igor" saying "You have lost the game."
Basically, the same lines.
To the point that...
Cognitive Akechi: "Here, I'll give you one last chance. Shoot them."
God of Control: "I shall grant you an opportunity to make a deal with me."
Both times, it's clear that this is the wrong thing to do, and in both cases, the person being offered rejects said deal entirely - Akechi by shooting the switch to activate the bulkhead door, making it impossible for his cognitive self to attack the Phantom Thieves, and Akira by denying Yaldabaoth and reaffirming his bonds with the Thieves once he's told that they're also there.
I titled the post the way I did, because the way Shido is used by Yaldabaoth, I would not be surprised if Cognitive Akechi isn't just a product of Shido's mind protecting him against threats from, say, his own attack dog, but also?
This is Yaldabaoth's way to quite literally execute the first piece he started to play with, since Goro Akechi had failed as a Trickster and had "lost the game" - and as he and cognitive Akechi both say, losers end up dead.
So the question is - who really killed Akechi? Was it Shido's cognition? Was it Yaldabaoth? And was that cognition even an original part of Shido's palace in the first place, to that extent? How much was it "appropriated" at the "right" time, here?
There are far too many coincidences for me to pass it off as such
But the highlight for me at least, is this:
In both terms of Akira and Akechi's "executions," it's their sense of thinking and feeling that "I can't die, I have a reason to live, and that reason is at least one other person" that keeps them alive. And to the point, it's what keeps Akira's sense of rebellion so strong, and against nigh insurmountable odds.
If anything, it supports the fact that with Akechi's confidant maxed, he really does live, because that, too, echoes Akira's experience in the Velvet Room not even a full month later.
#p5 stuff#goro akechi#Akira kurusu#persona 5#p5 joker#cognitive akechi#p5 yaldabaoth#I went into the videos to do canon recap and wound up with meta#this is my life
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So: You have depression.
I'm 27 now. The last time I had a major depressive episode was when I was 16. I still have depressive episodes every now and then, but the worst tend to be a month, and most I can generally get through them in about a week. It took me a while to kind of figure out how to handle depression as a recurring thing, and so I thought I'd make a little welp-I-got-diagnosed-now-what guide.
So, first part of the guide: When I first got depressed, I thought that depression was the terrible, sad hopeless feeling that I had. It isn't. That terrible sad hopeless feeling is a symptom of prolonged depression. By the time I get to that point, I'm pretty well cooked and it takes a lot longer to bounce back. Avoiding getting to that point is a vital part of living with depression.
So what does depression feel like?
I am going to hammer this point home a lot of times while writing this: Depression is an anesthetic. It is not felt as a presence, but as an absence. The first absence, for me at least, is when life stops being fun. Every movie feels boring, I can't get more than a few pages into any book, and everything just seems... bland.
This is the best point to catch it at. I have found that consumptive patterns of entertainment do not do anything to help depression. Some people have told me that producing art at this time really helps them, but personally, I can't imagine trying. Instead, I just do tasks that I know inspire physical satisfaction. Which sounds like jerking off (I don't actually reccomend that route) but really means things like: Going for a walk in the sunshine. Working out. Cleaning the house in a fairly exhaustive way. Scrub the baseboards, wash the sink, clear the fridge, etc.
I recognize that doing those is really, really hard while depressed because depression causes physical weakness and exhaustion. The best I can do is, unfortunately, encourage vigillance. If you suspect you're getting into a funk, start on this before you get really deep into the mire. People that get into the mire can get out, but it's not self-help read-a-book type shit, it takes therapy and medication and patience and it is so much easier and cheaper and faster to just avoid letting it get that bad then crawling out once it's sunk its teeth into you.
I have found that for things that work almost by exposure alone, spending time in the sun and talking to people are borderline magical, with the caveat that talking to people about being depressed tends to make things worse instead of better. Talking about anything that cuts through the anesthetic of depression is ideal, or if it's sunk in deep enough that you're having trouble finding anything, talking to someone else about what they're passionate about. Ideally, you'd find someone passionate about a thing you know you're passionate about but are struggling to enjoy right then, and then you'd just let your mirror neurons run amok. Bonus Points
So, you're already depressed. Like, pretty fucking depressed, and you fucked up, and you let it slide. What then?
This is my I-Fucked-Up-And-Got-Big-Sad, Salvage-My-Weekend, depression routine. You'll need to make one for yourself at some point, and yours will work better for you, but this is mine and I think it'll work okay-ish for you. Until you get your own, at least.
I have to get up before 10 am. Staying in bed later than that gives the depression such a huge head start on my day that I just basically can't catch up. If I can't just brute force get myself out of bed, I will throw my blankets and sit cold on my sheets until that gives me the motivation I need. If I cannot work up the guts to throw my blankets, I will actually roll off the bed, flop gracelessly onto the floor, and then stare wistfully up until I can will myself to stand. It helps that every bedroom I've had either had freezing cold tile, or itchy coarse carpet. If you have a comfy floor, maybe buy a very scratchy rug? I cannot emphasize how important this step is. It's like, half of the whole thing.
After getting up, immediately go outside and sit in the sunshine. This provides free executive function, and getting it ASAP will make everything go much smoother.
Talk to someone while outside. If you have a roommate, they work great. Face to face conversations tend to be the best, but phone calls with loved ones are like at least 80% as effective. Calls to family members tend to be better than in face conversations with acquaintances or people you're mostly ambivalent about. Don't do chat messages. Worse than nothing.
This should have scrounged up enough free energy that you can clean something. I always start by trying to clear a part of my counter off. If that's all I got, that's all I got, and I still feel good about it. If that inspires me to do more, I'll run with it until a whole room is up to snuff. I don't do more than one room while I'm this crispy: The goal is not really to clean the house, but to work through a series of tasks that require some initial level of executive function but provide a larger amount back once completed. Life has a lot of these deals that are like, give me $10 and I'll give you $12, give me $12 and I'll give you $20, on and on, and the hard part is really just getting the $10. Some people wake up with $10. Most days, you will wake up with $10. But not when you're like this. You're gonna have to earn it. I'm sorry.
I am going to reiterate: This is what I do when I feel a funk coming on. My life and my schedule are not always this regimented. Living with depression doesn't mean never sleeping until 10, or having a weekend where you don't talk to someone, or take a break from cleaning. Living with depression just means never, ever, leaning into the depression when you feel it coming on. Even when it starts out feeling cozy. Even when you want to just snuggle into it and sleep and sleep and sleep. The first day or two will feel luxurious, and the next week will feel terrible, and the longer you wait the harder it will be to get out. You are always going to have to worry about that. Again, I'm really, truly sorry.
Bonus Bonus Points
I am not a psychologist, but I do have a theory about why depression exists. Remember how I said it's anesthetizing? I think that's what it's there for - getting rid of emotional pain when it isn't being helpful. People often get depressed after a major injury. Boredom is normally nature's way of punishing you for just curling up and doing nothing, but depression can be the emergency override on boredom. It makes sense for you to sit still and do nothing while your body is healing, so maybe nature temporarily removes all your motivation with depression and then just lets you be a limp noodle until you're healthy again. Maybe?
Back to the emotional level, though, depression might also be a way to muffle pains that would otherwise be so intense that people might not remain in control of the faculties. The pain of losing a parent is notorious for driving people so mad with pain that they ruin their lives, but depression is there to at least try and keep us sedated until the nadir has passed.
It is helpful to know what the purpose of depression is, because you will eventually get it from an "intended" cause, and reflexively fighting it then probably isn't good for you. And at the very least, knowing why this stupid thing exists makes the world feel like less of a cruel place.
There are a lot of interesting studies on the physical effects of depression - things like muscle weakness, increased pain tolerance, muscle relaxation, etc. that I won't go into, but it does so many things at once that it almost doesn't feel like a fuck up, but a feature that we just kind of lost the plot on. Not gonna deep dive on it, but it is something that probably shouldn't be confined to just a mental disorder.
#mental health#depression#an essay I guess?#almost more of a letter to 16 year old me#but I hope this helps someone else#I don't think there's anything really trigger-worthy in here besides mentions of depression itself?#Babylon-Lore#Babylon-TopPick
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I need Vaggie and Husk to be friends SO badly. I just think they have potential like they could possibly be one of the best duos if given a chance. I actually have so many thoughts on this so hear me out:
There's so much potential JUST because of their relationships with Charlie and Angel (Charlie and Angel are siblings but we don't need to get into that right now)
But seriously short grumpy characters with wings and their extroverted beanpole partner is killing me
So basically I can see them both ranting about what their partners are doing on a daily basis but it always ends with "I love them SO much" "Cheers I'll drink to that"
I have a feeling Charlie and Angel are both the kind of people to leave lipstick marks on their partners and just not tell them so Husk and Vaggie have to check each other out real quick before going anywhere. I mean no questions asked just one of them standing in front of the other with their arms and legs spread out until the other one gives them a thumbs up or a rag to clean it off with.
I also think it would be funny if Husk was the first person to know Vaggie was an angel he just didn't mention it. He says so himself that the residents of the hotel will spill their secrets when they get drunk so Vaggie definitely got drunk and let it slip that she was an angel but didn't remember it by morning. Husk's motto is basically "That's none of my business" so he just doesn't say anything.
Also continuing with the "that's none of my business" thing, Vaggie absolutely agrees with that sentiment as long as it doesn't hurt Charlie or the hotel. Neither of them like people digging into their business and having Alastor in their lives means someone is ALWAYS digging so it's nice to be with someone who just does not care.
Oh and they both shit on Alastor 24/7 so good for them
PREENING EACH OTHER!!! By the time Vaggie gets her wings back they're close enough for this. Husk hates his wings and is shit at taking care of them but Vaggie really wants this to happen. She does miss some things about the exorcists and that's one of them. Of course she would never say that out loud but Husk gets it and they do it anyway.
Vaggie would start flying ALL THE TIME after getting her wings like she has so much time to catch up on. Angel knows that her and Husk are good friends and that Husk hates his form so he'll get Vaggie to convince Husk to fly with her. It takes a little bit but they have fun and Charlie is really proud of her so it's worth it.
They can literally sit in comfortable silence for hours and not get bored
They bicker all the time about everything like they'll say the meanest shit but they're besties and they're joking so it's fine
They are so down to kill Valentino at any time. They have multiple plans, they have lists, they're really creative about it too.
They'll just sit, people watch, and judge strangers together
They're so judgemental but also the least judgmental??? They'd be like "Why would you do that you dumbass" but also actually listen to what's being said and try to find a reasonable solution for each other
Double dates that Vaggie and Husk don't actually want to go on but unfortunately Charlie and Angel are convincing (they have a really good time)
They were both stripped from their occupations (overlord/angel). They miss it sometimes and they feel bad about it because they were both terrible people during those times. When they get like this they always seek each other's company. Sometimes they actually talk about it, sometimes they change the subject to something completely different, sometimes they have a drink and sit in silence. Either way they only acknowledge it with each other.
Husk teaches Vaggie how to make drinks. It's calming for him (even though it's annoying that he's technically being forced to do it) so he thought she might like it. She does and is actually really good at it. When they get more residents she'll help him out behind the bar.
Sometimes they'll sing together. They sound amazing and their partners love it. Husk also tries to teach Vaggie how to play saxophone it does not go as good as bartending did
They're the only ones in the hotel that can speak Spanish so yes they do use that to their advantage
Are both so tired all the time. They just deserve a stress free nap. They end up curled up together asleep and are found by Angel in the middle of the night. He takes a picture and immediately sends it to Charlie. Charlie and Angel manage to keep the picture but are not allowed to show anyone or ever mention it again.
They would never actually admit to being friends even though they're best friends and one of the few people the other can actually stand being around
JUST HUSK AND VAGGIE BEING BEST FRIENDS YOU GUYS
#oh jeez this is a long one#Hazbin Hotel#huskerdust#charlie hazbin hotel#chaggie#husk hazbin hotel#vaggie hazbin hotel#angel dust hazbin hotel#why isn't there any content of them being friends#I need this so bad#seriously what demon do I have to make a deal with to make this happen#I feel like they interact the least but why#the potential#I'm manifesting so hard vivziepop herself fears my power#I can't be alone in this please guys#what is wrong with me#the Huskerdust fanfic I was reading just updated this is fate#Am I posting too much???#I feel like I'm posting too much
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I'LL MAKE IT, XXXXXXXXXXX - toji f. & shiu k.
THEM 😩
featuring: toji fushiguro x fem!reader x shiu kong
trigger warnings: threesome, oral (m receiving), slight humiliation theme, hard dom!toji, soft dom!shiu, dirty talk
“oh you want us to touch you? mmh I don't know if you deserve it sweet girl... what do you think shiu?” asked toji with a smile at the corner of his lips.
the other man hummed, extending his legs in his seat while smoking his cigarette. there was an obvious buldge between his legs, but he remained calm and unbothered.
the only one who looked hot and bothered was you, your naked body on display on the bed, both of your hands tied up to its frame.
“she seems pretty desperate, maybe we should just give it to her.”
toji arched a brow and got closer to you. you looked up at him, eyes full of need as you pulled at the ropes restraining your movements. the sorcerer killer took your chin in his hand, tilting your head so you were now looking at shiu.
“but look at her, can she handle both of us?”
the man smoking a cigarette smiled, finding your silence amusing, because you knew better, and right now, talking back to them was no use.
“I'm sure she can.”
toji snorted, clearly not convinced but he shrugged and slowly sat on the bed next to your trembling body. with his palm, he carresed your lower stomach while gently stroking your chest with his other hand.
you squirmed and whimpered toji's name and he took your chin in his hand again, tilting your head to the side so he could kiss you. it was passionate, but not gentle at all, his tongue brutally forcing your mouth open while you were still squirming, lifting your hips in the air with need.
as toji kissed you again roughly, you felt the mattress sink under someone's weight and you quickly felt shiu's hand run over your thighs, teasing you by caressing your skin with his fingertips.
“poor girl, she's soaked.” he whispered with false sympathy.
there was something so humiliating about them talking as if you weren't even there, as if you weren't dripping onto the sheets, heart pounding and mind slowly getting blown by toji's tongue. you moaned into his mouth when you felt shiu grazing your entrance with his knuckles, he was still barely touching you, and it was driving you crazy.
“please, touch me...” you pleaded as you broke the kiss with the sorcerer killer.
“don't you know good girls don't speak unless they're spoken to? if you can't follow basic rules what are we even supposed to do with you, mmh?” toji rasped in a dangerously low tone.
despite his smile, shiu gave you an apologetic look as toji stood up next to the bed and unbuckled his belt, you barely had time to mumble an apology before his cock was already pressed against your lips.
“I'll give you a good reason to open your mouth.”
you whimpered at his harsh tone, a few tears began to gather at the corners of your eyes and you slowly parted your lips, allowing his cock to slide into your mouth.
"I'm sorry darling, toji can be so mean sometimes..." shiu sighed, and you felt the breath of air on your pussy.
he freed your hands, probably out of pity and kissed your shoulders as you could feel toji's hard cock going in and out of your mouth, provoking lewd noises in the room, his big hand resting over your head to hold your hair in place and guide your face to his liking.
“she likes it. just look at her fucking pussy right now and you'll see how much she likes to be treated like a dirty slut.” toji growled through gritted teeth, sweat starting to bead on his forehead as he looked at you through his dark locks.
you suddenly felt two fingers spreading your pussy lips apart, revealing your spasming clit and the juices dripping out of you. shiu blew air on it once more and you tried to squirm away, but toji held you in place with a firm hand, you couldn't go anywhere.
“oh you're right, she's dripping everywhere, it's almost painful to watch.”
toji fucked your mouth harder while shiu removed his pants, freeing his hard cock and getting between your legs.
“fuck her. whores like her don't need any prep.” toji ordered, tightening his grip on your hair.
shiu hummed and gave your hips gentle strokes, pressing the tip against your folds, your wetness coating his cock. he didn't have to force it, his cock slid inside within a second and you moaned around toji's, trying with all your might not to lose your mind at the feeling.
shiu began to move slowly, contrasting with the speed at which toji was pounding his hips, his balls slapping against your chin. with tears now streaming down your cheeks, toji admired you from above as if you were the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.
“... so fucking good...” shiu muttered, grabbing your inner thighs to spread them further apart, sinking deeper into you.
toji abruptly removed himself from your mouth, allowing you to breathe properly and moan as much as you wanted. his hand moved to your clit and began rubbing it with his thumb as shiu roamed your insides, pushing on your g-spot with each thrust.
“does it feel good sweetheart? you want to cum? do you need it so bad?” teased toji as he grabbed one of your hands to make you pump his cock.
you nodded thoughtlessly, eyes unfocused, shifting to toji's face to where shiu and you were both connected.
“I wanna cum please, need both of your cum...” you moaned as your legs began to shake.
“she's asking so sweetly toji... maybe we should give her what she wants...?” panted shiu and toji smiled.
you smeared his precum on your hand and felt both their cocks twitch. you lifted your head, looking at toji through your lashes and saw his hips stutter against your hand. they were so close too.
“please...” you begged a second time as your eyes rolled back.
your pleading voice unlocked something deep inside both men, they gave each other a look and shiu fucked you harder, making your body jolt under his thrusts.
“fuck okay, you're ready shiu?” asked toji breathlessly.
he rubbed your clit faster as shiu pushed on your g-spot again and again, roughly rubbing that place until it was deliciously painful and you finally came in a loud cry, your back arching and your free hand gripping the sheets.
toji grunted, releasing his load all over your face and chest as shiu pulled out to smear his cum on your belly and thighs as they both let out a satisfied sigh.
you lay breathless and covered in their semen, heart rushing to your ears as your body was still twitching, toji held your hand in his and gently stroked its back with his thumb, while shiu gave you reassuring caresses.
“don't fall asleep now sweetheart, we still have a lot of things to show you...” toji laughed darkly, and you shuddered.
the night was far from being over.
jjk masterlist
#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#jjk headcanons#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fushiguro smut#toji fushiguro headcanons#shiu kong x reader#shiu kong smut#shiu kong headcanons#toji x reader#toji smut#toji fushiguro x reader x shiu kong#toji x reader x shiu#toji fushiguro x shiu kong x reader#toji x shiu x reader#jujutsu kaisen
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Mein Kleines Mädchen
Older!König (40s) Young!reader (18- early 20s)
Giant age gap but y’know, size kink, slightly hyper fem!reader, reader is a female, König is rough and also has a cute little German accent and calls you cute pet names in German, König is also your dads bestie but not anymore! Creampie, slut-shaming but also praise , fingering.
Hope I didn’t miss anything! XD
(Gentle reminder that König is HUGE, I'm pretty sure he's 6'10 which, if you're average hight, is ginormous.)
You’ve always thought König was overly attractive, but you would never do anything…I mean he was your father’s best friend.
He always eyed you when they hung out, which was rare because he was always deployed.
König was way bigger than you were, he merely towered over you when you two would talk. Which, to say the least, you loved.
You thought he was so attractive. From how big he was to his greying ginger hair to his blue eyes which looked at you in such a way that made your stomach flutter.
****
He was finally coming over today. You were finally in collage now, in your eyes a grown woman.
He was staying the night according to your dad because he got kicked from his apartment from being gone so long, to which you weren’t complaining.
It was so early; almost too early, but you heard a knock at the door. Even before he knocked you felt his presence. Your heart pounds as you peak out of your window to see his car. You walk down the stairs, only in an oversized white t-shirt that covered your tight black shorts. You clear your shirt of any wrinkles before looking through the peephole and opening the door.
“Guten Morgen, schatz.” He smiles softly. you notice that he’s still quite dirty.
“Oh, ‘morning König.” you smile back softly before letting him in, your heart still pounding in your chest, it feels like it’s gonna run away.
He gives you a lousy side hug and drops his bags on the stairs before giving you a forehead kiss.
“Mm.” He breathes you in “Schatz, where is your father?” He backs away slightly to give you some sense of personal space.
“He’s working today until about 8:30. Sorry, I should probably let you settle in and shower I know you’re tired and-“
“Shh, liebling. Stay with me, I suppose I need some company, ja?” He looks down at you, reaching his calloused hand over and putting it on the side of your head in which you lean into.
“Okay, well first let me draw you a shower.” You bite your lip gently before leading him into the upstairs bathroom next to your room. He follows you, humming something you swear you've heard before.
"Du bist so ein liebes kleines Mädchen" (You're such a sweet little girl) König snickers while trailing so close behind you that he's basically hovering over you.
He thought you didn't understand what he was saying. You really touched up on your German before he came back from whatever mission he was on. You knew he said things to you in German before, but he never thought you'd know. Not until now. Your blood wastes no time making your cheeks hot and red with straight fluster.
He grips your arm and turns you with his mere strength. "Oh dear. Du verstehst jetzt?" (Oh dear. You understand now?) He tilts his head, squatting down to your hight.
You try to look down but he forces you to look up at him with your practically pathetic puppy eyes. "Ja...since you got deployed again. I should've told you, but I just wanted to know what you were saying to me."
His eyes feel like they're staring sharply into your soul, like he was looking straight into your heart. He knows that your heart grows and yearns from him. "Ja? Good girl." His accent spills out more when he's eager.
"C'mon lieb." He stands back up letting you finish showing him to the bathroom. You turn on the shower and make sure its the perfect temperature for such a man. You set out a towel and an unopened bar of soap.
"Okay, there you go. You can..um meet me in my room when you're done." You say with just a little bit of excitement in your voice.
"Ja, liebling." He says with a soothing voice rather than before.
As you wait in your room, you change into a pink see-though lingerie dress with a matching pink thong. To top it all off, you wear some white thigh high socks. You sit pretty on your bed and wait for him to get out of the shower.
****
You hear a knock at your bedroom door. "Hey, Liebling? Can I come in?" You ignore it for a second but before you can cover up he busts through the door.
"Mein gott liebe. Scheisse... don't do this to me. You know I can't hold back." His is heavy. It's obvious that blood went to his dick just from looking at his towel.
"I don't want you to hold back." You say as he steps into the room. His hair wet and towel barley covers his v-line. He sighs and walks closer to you.
“Mein schatz…What a fucking tease are you? Gut Gott.” He towers over your small frame, lifting up your legs and pressing kisses on your thighs as he props them up on his shoulder. His cock is fully hard, it’s throbbing and oozing out pre-cum.
“Bitte…König. You know how many years I’ve been waiting for this..” Your panties are so soaked that it’s visible. Who knew you’d be such a slut for the man who was there when your father wasn’t.
He moves your panties to the side with his middle finger. He pushes his middle and ring fingers inside you and rubs his thumb on your throbbing clit. You cry and whine under his touch. He knows how bad you need him.
“Is this too much schatz? If it is, how am I going to put this cock in you? It craves you, you know that liebling?” He takes his hand away from your wet entrance and lets the towel fall to his ankles. His cock springs up, you can see pearls of pre-cum dripping onto your bed. He gives his drooling shaft a couple of pumps before spitting on his middle and ring finger to wet your entrance just enough to fit his massive cock.
“Ready liebe?” He shoves the tip past your entrance making your shutter and whine from the size.
“Ja, you’ll be okay mein schatz.” You bite your lip and cry with him going deeper, trying to fit his 8 1/2 inches in your tight pussy that’s just taking him so well.
“König…s'too much..Bitte! Pleasepleaseplease!…” You whine and moan from the pain. Your thoughts are clouded with pure white pleasure. You know how wrong this is, but, Mein Gott, is it worth it. You're gripping his back and begging for god knows what.
“Nimm es einfach wie ein braves Mädchen, ja? Getting close for me already, Gut gott." (Just take it like a good girl, yeah?) König can't help but notice how pathetic and weak you are under him. His blunt tip pushes against your g-spot over and over again until you're crying and going cock-dumb over him.
" Du liebst es einfach, wie eine Schlampe gefickt zu werden, nicht wahr? What a good fucking girl for me." (You just love getting fucked like a slut, don't you? What a good fucking girl for me.) You can feel his thrusts getting sloppier and heavier. His breath begins to hitch and he can't help but whimper just a little from how tight his Liebe is.
"König...gonna cum right now.. Vati... fuck- feels s'good..." Before you can even think about getting close, he pulls out of you and sits down on your bed, getting comfy before motioning you to sit on his lap. You slide off your panties and see-through dress, craving that skin to skin with him.
"Ja, that's it Mein Schatz, ease down on me, you've got it Liebe" As you sink down on his fat cock, he notices that it makes an indentation on your tummy.
"S'too much König... too big." You barely make out in whimpers and cries. He continues to thrust deeper into your sopping cunt. You really hope your dad isn't gonna come home anytime soon.
"Shh, It's alright, you'll be okay Mein Liebe. Just let me use this pretty pussy, ja?" He pushes his cock so far up into you that you were genuinely surprised on how he was able to bottom out in you. His thrusts are sharp and fast with so much power that you moan everytime he thrusts. König knows you're close from the way you're clenching down on him and how loud your moans are.
"Bitte... I need to.." You cry out before König's thrusts become sharper and somehow even faster.
"I know, I know. I'm gonna come with... scheisse- come with you, okay?" He can't stop grunting now, its all pleasure now. White pleasure clouds his visions.
"Christ- Ich liebe dich schatz- fuck. I always have. And look, now I get to fuck this little body of yours and even fill you up with my cum, eh?"
His vision returns to you, already cumming on his cock. So pathetic, you can't even speak. You're too entranced at cumming on his thick cock to even think. And now here he is, filling you up with his potent cum. He pumps and twitches just a few more times until you two ride out your orgasm.
****
"Was I too much Mein liebe?" He wraps his big arms around you as you snuggle into him. warm sheets cover your bodies.
"You were perfect. Everything and more than what I was ever expecting." He wraps you into him even tighter, pressing kisses on your forehead and soft lips.
"Ich liebe dich auch, König."
Your dad's gonna be so pissed when he finds out his little girl is getting fucked by his so called best friend.
#konig smut#konig age gap#könig x reader#könig cod#könig x you#cod#könig call of duty#I love German men#cod smut
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