#i need him to accuse jason of being a vampire

[littlepikmins]

I love Wayne Family Adventures but I want to see more Bernard!! Please!!

They put him in two of them and then never again! I want him to hang out with the batfam!

[missbluesunflowersstuff]

Some Tim Drake headcanon

I did some headcanon based in canon stuff and also random things, this is more around the batkids and Tim. Please respect

Tim likes to think of himself as a street smarth, but he's not. He is academically smarth, but not a street smart kid (he grew up in a mansion with several servants, even though he is hella neglected, he wouldn't know how to survive on the streets of Gotham in the same way that Jason, Duke, Dick)

(ok I noticed some confusion with my worlds here, then Tim Drake is a child from Gotham, his way of surviving there is a little different from his brother but he still would figure it out. That's what I was saying, thanks for the comprehension)

whenever Tim needs someone to talk to he looks for Dick, he knows that Dick will listening to him and his older brother will also give him useful advice/ help him solve the problem

He's afraid of having redhead fever from his older brothers (Dick being friend with Babs, Wally, Kor'i and Roy and Jason being friend with Artemis, Roy and Kor'i), not in a romantic way or anything, he just doesn't know how to explain how Dick and Jason attract so many redheaded friends

He fears info dumping someone when he talks; Duke once commented that he liked the smell of rain when it rained on very hot days, and Tim began to explain that this was due to a fungus. Duke just listened silently and then shy smiled. And only later did Tim think he had ruined the peaceful moment, as he noticed how Duke and Cass lay quietly enjoying the rain...

His relationship with Steph isn't that complicated, they dated in the past, but nowadays they both try their best to remain good friends

He tries to plan several cute dates with Bernard, but he always ends up overthinking so he chooses the simplest route, cinema and burgers (Kon and Bart helped him choose this as perfect date)

When Tim is having problems with Bruce, he always turns to Dick, knowing that his older brother will help him with whatever he needs

Tim regrets the beginning between him and Damian, not just the assassination attempts, but Tim didn't try to trust Damian and always accused Damian's people of being bad and had an offense towards Damian's origins (both were wrong, Damian in his trauma stuff and I dislike how "his people are evil" that DC wrote at that time)

He is secretly afraid of someone discovering the bomb in Nanda Parbat, yes there were murderers there, but it was a city that also had civilians there and as a hero he shouldn't put the lives of innocent people at risk (why does DC keep writing him like that???)

There are actually several theories in Gotham about why he doesn't age, some say he's a vampire and others say he bathes in the blood of innocents, no one knows who start these theories (Dick blames Jason, Jason blames Damian, Damian blames Steph, Steph blames Bernard and Kon and Bart blames each others)

his worst nightmare is being the only survivor of his entire family (again)

Loneliness can hurt him in ways no villain could, being alone can drive him crazy. Therefore, unlike his brothers (who can work alone), Tim tries his best to work in teams

Because Bruce and Tim were born into a rich house, they are out of touch with normal stuff sometimes

he really enjoys listening to Bernard's theories and sometimes encourages him with something stupid

Tim likes to think that If his mother were alive she would like Bernard

Tim is the only one in the family who shows concern about Damian's addiction to adopting animals, afraid that it will turn into something similar to Bruce

Tim learned a lot about motorcycles because he thought it would be a good topic to talk about with Jason

Tim has and listens to his emo playlist

Even when he hates loneliness, he can disappear for a while, either because he wants someone to look for him or because of something Bruce said. When this happend, he usually comes back when he is tired of being alone or someone go look for him (man this is pretty sad...let me write something...)

There was a time when he disappeared for a while, he hid in a safehouse outside the country and when he started to wonder if anyone would miss him the door was shut down, Damian, Jon and a girl in a white mask that he didn't recognize entered

"tt if I knew you weren't in danger I would have feared more" "what?" "come on, get on the Goliath, we have to go home" "did something happen?" "Batcow. Cows have a circle of friends and they can get depressed if a friend disappears

Ok Tim knew about cows due to Kon living on a farm, but he was extremely confused about being kidnapped rescued by Damian, Jon and Nobody just because the kids were worried about the Batcow mental health

Coming back was strange, since Bruce didn't even notice he was gone, but soon he felt Alfred the cat rubbing against him, Titus licking his hand and the cow mooing at him, Tim was a little happier to come back (I'm not good to write fluffly you guys are struck with this)

Nowadays Tim is very smug because he was the first of the brothers to fly in Goliath

Some batkid headcanon: Damian || Duke || Cassandra || Stephanie || Tim || Jason || Dick

[roipecheur]

Jason accuses Tim of being too much like Bruce. There's the whole rich boy deciding to be a vigilante thing and the CEO of Wayne Enterprises thing, and they're both secretive and manipulative shits, and they even kinda look alike, pale and sallow bruise-eyed vampires from never going out in the sun--

(This last part is somewhat hypocritical, as Jason also rarely goes out in the sun.)

Interesting :) :) :) Tim says with a smile just wide enough to let Jason know he's really stepped in it. You keep saying that, but you keep fucking me. Does it turn you on that I remind you of Bruce? Or is this one big spite-fuck? Or do you grit your teeth and ignore it, or do you actually not really care and you're just bringing this up to be an asshole?

Jason stubs out his cigarette and flicks the butt at him. Says, Don't try to psychoanalyze me, Timmers.

And Tim says, I don't need to psychoanalyze you, I already know you want to fuck your dad.

[islib]

Hermitcraft S10 Starting, here's pretty much every thought I've had while watching the first batch of first episodes that seemed worth writing down

ZombieCleo first

Why do they keep making Mumbo give the starting speech lmaooooo

"It's a Skizz!" "And a Joel!"

X first on fire. It's season X time. "That's a really bad start - noone punch me."

...wait what - oh they ARE playing Demise!

MYSTERY GIFTS!

they're so professional you guys

oooooh coop caving!

why is Joe on a horse that's Bdubs's job

what is that team name, Ren, why

"mustard milklies" thanks Beef for making it worse, thanks Cleo for trying to intervene

oh this is gonna be fun from multiPOV "I found a massive hole" "where's the big hole you promised me Cleo" my gods

Doc has a bed thing and bloodthirst, love it

oh the mustard milk team is going for lies, NICE

"Willage" is a very funny concept

"Huh, who mocked my accent?" "Nobody, I don't know what she's talking about!" "...hm? Canadian? Eh?"

Cleo's already resorting to threats against her own team!

"Oh, milk tots!"

oh no, Wels's power went out right before the recording?

lapis is now dubbed "french blue stuff"

"I am a child and so are you!" Cleo @ Doc

"OH IMPULSE IS GONE!" *cue celebration* FIRST DEATH

"Cleo, lie to me and tell me you believe in me." "I think you're a beautiful person, Skizz." "...that hurt even more!"

mustard mouse pads - or whatever it was

Ren's dead! We get all his stuff!

15 minutes left milk moustaches!

how did Ren already manage to name a place "The Hillock"

Doc is only PC for salmon, worried about "the salmon twitter mob"

season 10 stands for X-rated, according to Beef.

Doc doesn't understand cooperativeness. Doc needs to win things. "It's non-competitive- why am I even here?" "Remember: he doesn't like to DO anything." (ref to previously misheard "I don't like to do editing")

Skizz's first impression of Doc on the server, simplified: "So you guys are my team? So I kill you guys?"

Cleo is the only person to play "real Hermitcraft" last season on the mustard m-whatevers. By their own words. Beef believes her definition of "playing real Hermitcraft" is debatable.

Doc just dug a hole. He doesn't do anything.

Suddenly, "not doing anything" is, I guess, a redstoner trait in general? Ren accused Mumbo.

Mumbo needs someone to hold his heels and earrings so he can clobber Ren, I think

Cleo's being a horsegirl? What is this season?

Bdubs really trying to invoke Clethubs in order to get a saddle, huh

noone is scared of Ren.

False-Ren-Cleo plateup reference!!!

Statue book acquired. Priorities in check for Cleo.

gosh I hate Nether early game, I'm so tense just watching

oh that is tragic. RIP.

Cleo's looking to base with people! Yays!

Nice to meet you, Jason Pendergast! What a name!

oooooh new outro music? I think? fun!

Xisuma second (because it's season X)

half a heart during the intro. what a start, X. (tbf, totally cub's fault, he nudged him, I saw it!)

...what the heck is the Hillock, Ren?

Zed's doing things going "No hands!"

oh dear, chat errors o.O

"hey Ren! I totally forgot what group I'm in." what a derp.

wonderful intro, Ren, thanks for the professionalism

my gosh it's the X guys together

AND joehills? this group can't do any wrong! AND THE KERALIS MAN YAYS

"some funny clips" *insert cave-in*

"Hazardous terrain!" "Hazardous teammate, you mean!"

X stop playing with lava, it's not your friend

...dear gods the caves don't like Xisuma

so many Xisuma noises

"I was trying to jumpscare you... but I'm bad at that" Xisuma you make so many random noises, nobody gets shocked anymore <3

nobody remembers to check for Keralis - and this forgettability transfers to the teams Keralis is on. how dare, Ren?

Ren can't count! and everyone else forgot!

doc's doing a communal starter village? everyone's gonna be endgame next week! (probably sooner!)

wonder what the purple wool is for

...not vampires, X. reapers aren't vampires. I don't think anyone's drinking blood yet XD

I think X has some misconceptions about this Demise variant. Might just be me though. (I do know Skizz didn't "get" Cleo, however)

X is starting at a villager house!

StressStressStressStress

first Hermit to capture an attempt at coordination (Ren's being very serious)

hypno is better than everyone (already working)

"I don't wanna die... wait, if Ren can do it, I can do it!" that's right Stress

"I think if you die you should be punished" Well, Ren. We'll see how you feel in a few minutes.

[I took a break to make waffles, don't mind me...]

this team is not creeper-friendly

Mumbo is so brave

why is there just redstone on the floor. who's decorating the camp with bloodstains.

...they've decorated with an OR-gate. yeah this sure is the team with Mumbo and iskall on it.

Ren's adding chairs. On brand.

do not let Ren go caving, why would you do that?

"kill them! kill Etho, he's washed." I see we're keeping that joke xD

iskall's washed now. Etho's washed him. with a water bucket. (yes I do think I'm funny)

Ren's organising (he does not want to cave - Ren, you're the one organising the caving. why.)

cat is a good funeral song for RentheDog

they've buried a pig's head, a lever, a sunflower and two raw chicken. RIP RentheRandomItems

WHAT IS THE HILLOCK

...I think Stress discovered world's tiniest cherry biome. It's well cute though.

oh gods iskall's poor voice right the week of both VH and HC recordings, poor man

love the way cub's apparently a hermitcrab who's given up his shelter for greener pastures

if this was anyone but iskall and stress, I'd be worried about this cave expedition

iskall and stress shared spawner, I'm having flashbacks

why are you two counting blocks. you can tell each other the coordinates. the ever efficient duo! (love them to bits)

HOUSE SKELETONS!

wait sorry iskall "you can fortune potatoes" ? I think you may have case of modbrain. I may be wrong, but I don't think that's a vanilla thing...

season of the horsegirls

Hello sir Meepalot!

Stress survived the scary eyes man (Keralis has no lava)

oooooh aesthetic animal pens!!!! that's the stuff!!!!

...not the Ren Mound, the 10 does stand for X-rated after all

Ren: "I notice you don't have much armor on." *Stress suits up* We continue the trend of "noone is scared of Ren"

peace and love in the neighbourhood

"You're welcome in my mound whenever" why does it sound SO WRONG

Stress's farms are so cute I'm gonna die

Stress getting ready to breed (the villagers. get your mind out the gutter.)

Ren was next on my list, but I'm out of time. I probably won't do this for the rest of the vids just on account of time scarcity T-T

[river-bottom-nightmare]

Conner Kent Week 2021, Day Two: Rarepair

Jason knew jokes about how pale Tim was, about how he was either a vampire or the perfect blue blood, about how he needed to get out and absorb some sun for God’s sake. They were met with glares, scathing retorts, smacks with a bo staff, and on one memorable occasion, a horrified Bruce as Tim barged into the house with visible sunburn all along his arms, shoulder and face. (Bruce hadn’t taken Tim’s accusation of But Jason told me to go get some sun! very well.)

Jason wasn’t joking now. Loosely covered in a hospital gown, Tim’s still body seemed to be more devoid of colour than any of the sheets, machines, and tubes surrounding him and attached to his body, keeping him alive in the most impersonal of ways. 

It was quiet, the sort of quiet that muffled any attempted noise with a soft hush, an invisible reprimand at showing signs of life in a place where there should be none. The beeping of the various machines didn’t register, the hum of the fluorescent lights was ignorable. Even the rhythmic tapping of Jason’s foot on the linoleum, a nervous habit he’d never been able to break, was utterly silent. 

It was quiet. At least until Conner Kent barged into the room, his heavy combat boots thudding on the ground and his breath coming out in pants, the terrified look on his face telling Jason that he thought he hadn’t gotten here fast enough.

“He’s fine,” Jason managed not to cough while speaking, the roughness of his throat a physical ache that was just now flaring up. “Full recovery, they said.”

“Good, good, that’s...” Conner dropped into the remaining hospital chair, right next to Jason. “That’s good.”

Silence blanketed them once again. Jason hadn’t ever been in a regular hospital room. He had supposedly spent a while as a patient in one when he’d risen from the dead and trembled around Gotham like a 21st century zombie, but he couldn’t remember any of it. He didn’t think Tim’s best friend had ever been in one either, given a good majority of Tim’s team was invulnerable or had advanced healing in some way. 

Jason was sure Bruce was itching to take Tim to the cave’s medbay, and honestly, Jason found himself on Bruce’s side in this. As much as he liked to distrust the entire Bat clan, he knew they’d give everything they had to make sure Tim was okay, while the hospital was only giving Tim their best care because of the “Wayne” tacked onto the end of his name. Jason had been about to demand Bruce bring him back to the cave no matter what, but Oracle butted in, telling him that Tim been shot as Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne in broad daylight. Bruce couldn’t take Tim home, not without raising some very complicated questions.

So that led them here. Jason being slammed full-force in the face with how much he’d let himself care about the tiny little toothpick, unable to make himself move for fear that Tim would slip away in the one moment he was gone. (Once he’d come back to life and seen how chummy Dick was with Bruce all of a sudden, he’d always expected Dick to drag him back kicking and screaming. He never thought Tim’s unobtrusive yet steady presence, doing his tech work in exchange for food, would lead to the word brother coming to his lips as easy as a breath.)

Next to him, Conner shuffled, and snapped Jason out of his thoughts. “I thought Nightwing would be here.” A statement, subtly posed as a question.

But, still one Jason had an answer to. “Deep cover. A mission he’d been planning for weeks. He doesn’t know.” And he would probably throw a fit about it too, when he came back. Even Jason had to wince a bit at the horrible sense of déjà vu Dick would end up feeling.

“So they sent you instead,” Conner said, and his tone was simple, but Jason found himself getting heated anyway.

“What, you thought the fill-in for Big Bird would be a little better?”

Jason was just burning for a fight, the helplessness he felt at being able to do nothing but sit in a low-quality plastic chair skating up his body and down his arms, forcing his fingers to curl in a fist. He expected the other boy to rise to the bait, having heard Tim’s complaints on how hot-headed Superboy was. 

But something about their current situation caused Conner to just turn and glare at him flatly instead. “You once put him a hospital bed, too. Don’t act like you care about him now when you would’ve celebrated this a couple years ago.” His tone was dismissive, and that dug under Jason’s skin much more than he expected. 

“Well then, it’s a good thing time travel’s reserved for the speedsters, huh? ‘Cause lucky for you, I’m not the same guy I was a couple years ago,” Jason replied scathingly. The next words were ripped from Jason’s throat, and he could almost see the blood splattered on them. “That’s my brother in the shitty hospital bed right there.”

“Yeah? And how long have you even cared about that ‘brother’ of yours?” There it was. Jason could see red trickling into Conner’s cheeks as he let Jason’s words get to him, and found himself oddly curious about that flush.

Still. Argument to win. “Long enough to know him,” Jason shot back. “Long enough to help piece him together after he almost broke. Where were you during that time? Fucking around with your friends or dead?”

“Trying to hold together the team that Tim helped build,” Conner shifted a bit to face Jason more directly head on. “All you’ve done is tear people apart. News flash: having a sort-of truce with Tim doesn’t automatically mean your family loves you again.”

That one hurt. Years of training to keep his emotions hidden was the only thing that kept him from flinching back visibly, but Jason still felt like he’d been slapped. Because the boy was right; just because Tim liked dropping by one of his safehouses every other week doesn’t mean the rest of the family was anywhere near comfortable with him, not after all the pain he’d caused them. And he couldn’t even fault Conner on it, because it wasn’t like he was wrong and it wasn’t like it wasn’t Jason’s own damn fault.

Still. He couldn’t just let that slide. “At least my family loved me to begin with. What do you have? Megalomaniac scientists who built you from an evil billionaire who thinks of you as an experiment at best and supposedly one of the best men on Earth who still thinks you’re not worth his time.”

Too late, Jason realized his insult came out a little too scathing. Conner’s eyes widened, and Jason saw him blink back pinpricks of tears...fuck. He didn’t know when mutual antagonizing had turned into a caustic competition, but he was pretty sure Tim wouldn’t be very happy with the two of them biting each other’s heads off. And Jason was the one that goaded Conner into this to begin with, to let some of his own helpless anger loose. Conner just wanted to make sure his friend was alright.

So, slightly reluctantly, Jason said, “Sorry. That was a bit too far.”

Conner shot him a grimace. “S’okay. You’re keyed up ‘cause of Tim. I get it. You’re still a jackass, though.” After saying his bit, the other boy turned away, taking up another vigil by Tim’s bedside.

...What the hell. It wasn’t like Jason had lied, anyway. If there was one person that had worse daddy issues than Jason did, it was this poor son of a bitch. Back when he was first catching glimpses of updates on what happened in the larger superhero world while he was letting green overtake his mind, he’d marveled a bit at Superboy, and the way the Justice League seemed to speak about it. How bad do you have to be to be Superman’s own son, (sorta), and still have him hold you at arms length. But after Tim’s stories, and after meeting him now, Jason was pretty sure Superman was in the wrong.

You really couldn’t trust anyone, could you?

“Nah. You’re right,” Jason said. “God knows none of the Bats want anything to do with me, so this stupid sort-of truce with this stupid brother’s all I got.”

Conner glanced over at him, surprised. Jason couldn’t blame him, he was a little taken aback at how easily the confession had spilled out of him too. They both knew how closed off people in their line of work were, but Conner seemed to take Jason’s words as an olive branch.

“You were right too. Found out the fun way that parents aren’t worth shit. So the team’s all I got, and Tim’s a big part of that.”

“The kid fucking hates you,” Jason said, putting some good-natured humor into his words to let Conner know he wasn’t entirely serious. “Loves you to death, but complains about you to me all the time.”

Conner snorted. “Look who’s talking. Every week at Titans Tower, it’s all ‘Jason won’t stop scaring off all my informants’ and ‘Jason spit on my copy of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.’”

“You can’t blame me for that last one, aight?” 

“No, I agree with you,” Conner said. “That movie was terrible. I don’t know why Tim likes it.”

“Because he’s a goddamn loser,” Jason said. He couldn’t say he was expecting Conner to know who he was, much less from stories Tim had told him. But it felt...good, in a way. Nice to be recognized by his media tastes instead of his bone-chilling reputation. Nice to know that the guy Tim wouldn’t shut up about to him knew who he was.

Silence fell in between them again, but it was comfortable, mutually acknowledged and let rest. Jason didn’t break it when Conner stood up, brushed a kiss to Tim’s hair, and left the hospital much quieter than he came. Jason didn’t break it when he made to leave either, squeezing Tim’s hand and mentally willing him to heal faster. Jason didn’t break it all the way home. 

The next day found Jason in a similar position. The positive side of being a mob boss: he didn’t have much in the way of a day job. He didn’t know why cramming himself into an uncomfortable position to stare, with a tight throat, at a kid in a medically induced coma was what he decided to do with his day.

Maybe because the kid had grown on him, latched onto his heart like a leech and didn’t let go until Jason could ruffle his hair and think of him as a little brother without physically throwing up. 

And maybe because he wanted to see Conner again. He didn’t know why, but their brief talk yesterday had loosened something inside his chest. He was used mulling over his regrets, used to Bruce condemning him and giving up on him as a lost cause, used to Dick trying to brush everything aside and form a bond with him again. He wasn’t used to someone staring his sins in the face, then shrugging and forgiving him. 

Forgiveness was much lighter and much less guilt-ridden than Jason expected, and he wanted more of it. From the way Conner had sunk into the same line of thinking as Jason, he wanted more of it too.

Conner didn’t disappoint him, but Jason wasn’t sure when he’d gotten his hopes up high enough to be disappointed in the first place. Calmer, now that he knew Tim was doing better, Conner leaned against the doorframe of hospital room, staring at their resident comatose with a little frown on his lips.

Jason took the time to study him. A black leather jacket stretched across his shoulders, a little more showy than the practical brown one draped across the back of the chair Jason was sitting on. He supposed it fitted in with Superboy’s theme, because anyone who wore that pinwheel-bright costume with the fucking thigh holster Jason saw pictures of online was more than a little showy. There wasn’t much proof of in his simple t-shirt and jeans, though, and Jason almost would’ve been disappointed if it weren’t for the earring hanging from his left earlobe and the tall black boots with glinting metal lace hooks that stretched up their length. Jason bet he owned the exact pair of fingerless gloves that were wrapped around Conner’s wrists right now.

In all of Tim’s vivid descriptions of the guy, Jason never realized how much he had in common with the guy, at least cosmetically.

“How’s he doing?” Conner asked, and jolted Jason out of his reverie. He didn’t make any indication he caught Jason looking, but Jason eyed him in slight embarrassment just in case.

Realizing that Conner was actually waiting for an answer, Jason cleared his throat and leaned forward a bit from his relaxed sprawl. “They say they’ll bring him out of it tomorrow, then a week here before he can go home. That is, if he doesn’t wake up on his own. The doctors say they’re astounded at how fast he’s recovering.”

Conner snorted, then stepped fully into the room. “Can you build up an immunity to injury? Or, like, have your body develop a mini healing factor or something? Just based on the kind of shit we’ve gone through over the years?”

Jason didn’t miss the way Conner put feather’s touch more emphasis on “we,” or the way his eyes flicked over to Jason. “At this point, I’m sure it’s the only way we’ve stayed alive so long.”

“No you didn’t,” Conner chuckled.

Jason’s head whipped up, staring at the other boy with disbelief threading through his mind. It had taken months for Dick to start making death jokes, and even then, he hesitated a bit, as if making sure Jason was okay with it. But after one meeting, Conner just steamrolled ahead, every bit as confident as he appeared to be. Jason found himself laughing too, with genuine amusement albeit a little punched out.

Crossing the room to seat himself in the remaining plastic chair, Conner sunk down with a sigh. “I just want him to wake up already.”

“Yeah, well. Who doesn’t?” Jason said, feeling unreasonably a little disappointed. Of course Conner wanted to talk about Tim, that was the whole reason he’d come to the hospital in the first place. He’d only known Jason for an hour, and a large part of that was spent trading insults back and forth. Of course he didn’t want to talk about how Jason was doing.

“So,” Conner said, turning away from the hospital bed. “How are you doing?”

Or maybe he did. Jason didn’t know what to call the little bubble of satisfaction that flew up his throat and popped in his mouth. “Not bad. Life as a mob boss is kinda boring, whaddya know. You?”

“Playing den mother for a bunch of hypercompetent yet cluelessly stupid baby superheroes is not how I imagined my life going.”

“Playing den mother?”

Conner wrinkled his nose, in a motion that was in no way cute, honestly kind of gross and flat. Jason found himself staring nonetheless. “Bart used to call me Team Mom back when we founded the team, and it caught on. Now, Cassie leads, but since even she says it, everyone fucking says it. They ask me for granola bars and money to buy movie tickets.”

“And?”

Conner sighed. “I give them granola bars and money to buy movie tickets.”

“There you go,” Jason  said, his voice dripping with smug amusement.

“I swear I’m not usually this lame,” Conner pleaded, and his half-smile was aimed straight towards Jason.

“No, no, I believe you. Tim’s told me stories,” Jason said. “Didn’t you once throw some guy into a police car so hard, the car dented and they had to call in a helicopter so the guy didn’t die on the way to the hospital?”

Conner flushed, and Jason found it just as entrancing as last time. “He tried to touch Cassie,” he explained. “And she can take care of herself more than well, I know. I just got a bit...overprotective.”

Jason just laughed. “Don’t worry. I thought it was badass.”

“Really?” Conner’s lips twisted into a sour smile. “Because the League thought it was proof of my, fuck, what was it? Violent, destructive tendencies mirrored on a smaller scale of the schemes of Lex Luthor. Something along those lines.”

Shaking his head with desideration, Jason scoffed. “Sounds about accurate. Besides, you don’t wanna know what the League thinks of me.”

“What?”

“Aside from, like, Joker and Two-Face and Mad Hatter and shit, Red Hood is one one of Batman’s most powerful and dangerous rogues, and must be stopped at all costs.”

Conner was laughing before Jason even finished talking. “I love that for you,” he said. “You’re just so powerful and dangerous. I’m quaking in my boots.”

Jason shoved him lightly, and felt Conner give way on purpose, ignoring how natural and easy the motion felt. “Whatever you say, Luthor Lite.”

“Well, guess I found my new superhero name,” Conner said, finger held up to his chin in mock-thought as if musing something extremely important.

“It’s perfect,” Jason said. “And here we have Conner Kent, ordinary punk-rock farmer. But he’s hiding a secret! When his ‘violent and destructive tendencies’ come out, he turns into...Luthor Lite!”

The two of them collapsed into muffled laughter, Jason stifling his noise by biting his lip and Conner putting his head in the crook of his arm to hide his red face. Pity, Jason liked that flush.

Straightening up with a sigh, Conner offered Jason a little grin. Crimson was still creeping along his cheekbones and the edge of his jaw, and Jason was suddenly struck by the urge to trace it.

“Kon,” Conner said.

“What?”

“Call me Kon,” Conner said. “Everyone does.”

“Kon, huh? With a K, right?” Jason asked, then nodded thoughtfully when Conner made a noise of affirmation. “Is it Kryptonian or something?”

A rueful expression stole it’s way onto Conner’s face, mischievous lips and daring eyes staring at Jason as if challenging him. “Yeah. Kon-el. Kryptonian for ‘abomination’. It’s what they thought of clones.”

A pause. Then, “Wow.” Jason bust out laughing for the second time. “That’s metal as fuck. Good for you, Kon.”

“Says the guy who took the name of the person who killed him, then twisted it into something so horrifying that now, no one else associates it with anything other than you.”

“Is that judgement I hear?”

“Respect,” Kon said, and his smile was oddly shy, the first time he’d shown that emotion since he’d met Jason. Jason liked the way it looked on him; it suited him oddly well.

They were quiet for a minute, grinning at each other like buffoons, but Jason couldn’t find the heart to stop. Eventually, Kon stood up and rolled out his shoulders to stretch. “I gotta get going. I’m meeting Bart and Cassie, updating them about Tim.”

“They’re waking Tim up in the afternoon,” Jason said. “Bruce is gonna be here, plus Steph. So I’d stay clear.”

“Gotcha, thanks. I’ll come in the morning.”

A proposition, if Jason ever saw one, and there was no way he could have refused. “I’ll be here,” he said, and kept his eyes on Kon until he rounded a corner, away from sight.

Kon was already there when Jason came to visit Tim the next day, and he gave him a friendly, if a tad flirtatious, smile. Jason responded, accidentally putting too much emotion into the greeting than he would have liked, but it made Kon brighten, so Jason didn’t feel too bad. 

Dropping heavily into what had become “his” chair, Jason shrugged off his jacket. He gave himself a mental high-five when he noticed Kon staring at his shoulders, but made no motion to address it.

“If all goes to plan, he’ll be the same annoying little prep boy that’s always annoying the hell out of me by tonight,” Jason said.

“He’ll be fine,” Kon said, and his voice was quiet, but there was an undercurrent of confidence curling around his words. He sounded like he had utter faith in Tim. Jason wished some of that would bleed over.

“He’s a tough little shit,” Jason said, then repeated Kon’s words. “He’ll be fine.”

“How ‘bout you?”

“Hm?” Jason raised an inquiring brow. “Oh, I’m all good It’s not me that’s hurt.”

“Jason,” Kon snorted. “If I have learned anything over the past two days, it is the fact that you are most definitely not ‘all good.’”

“Yeah well,” Jason said. “You’re one to talk.”

Kon made a noncommittal noise, and shrugged as if to say what can you do? “We’ve all got issues. But I get the feeling that you’re not as closed off and angry as you let people believe. Or maybe you are, but you don’t want to.”

Jason bit back the first response that came into his mind, telling Kon that no, he was closed off and angry, just not with him. But that wasn’t the truth, and he definitely didn’t have the courage to say it out loud. So instead, he said, “Maybe. Not gonna lie, from the way Tim and everyone talks about you, I was expecting more...”

“Cocky little frat boy?” Kon asked, smirking.

“More or less.”

Kon sighed, then looked down to where his hands were fiddling with each other. “Superman doesn’t act like a cocky little frat boy. Neither does Lex Luthor.”

“You’re not either of them,” Jason said, realization pouring into his mind like spilled oil. “You’re not either of them, but no one else seems to get that, so you make it as obvious as possible.”

“A couple people got that eventually,” Conner said, looking up at Tim with a soft smile. “Not many, though. And none as quickly as you.”

Kon leaned back, level with Jason now, turned to face him, something on his face that Jason couldn’t read. The chairs seemed much closer than Jason could remember, but he wasn’t very much banking on his memory right now. 

“Yeah, well,” Jason said, feeling a little lame. “What can I say. Misery likes company, and companies read each other through water.”

“Never heard that one before.”

“I came up with it,” Jason said. 

“I like it,” Kon smiled, then leaned forward with an ease Jason had been determined to build up first.

A little peeved at Kon beating him to it, Jason closed the distance first, the kiss probably a little too rough. But given the way they’d met, Jason felt like the bite he gave Kon was justified, even if the other boy was invulnerable.

Jason had made plenty of bad decisions in his life, and he knew exactly what they felt like. This wasn’t one of them. There was no chance that the way Kon’s hands coming up to cup Jason’s face, dragging his nail down Jason’s jaw, was anything other than good. No chance the way Kon’s soft hair suddenly threaded through his fingers was anything other than soft, no chance the soft noise Kon made in the back of his throat was anything other than delightful.

Yeah, Jason knew bad decisions. And despite the avalanche of bad decisions that seemed to make up every inch of Jason, from his scarred hands to his chipped nails, despite the pile-up of thoughtless ideas that led to this boy being made, despite how intimately familiar Jason was with regrets, he was certain Conner Kent wasn’t one of them.

------------

this was almost 4k what the fuck

also. please imagine tim waking up to see his best friend and older brother aggressively making out in the plastic hospital chairs next to him. 

anway, suddenly i have a new ship.

imma post this on ao3 later, it got a bit long

tag list: @woahjaybird @birdy-bat-writes @anothertimdrakestan @screennamealreadyused @subtleappreciation @pricetagofficial @catxsnow @bikoncon @bonkybearjpeg @maplumebleue-blog-blog @sundownridge @thatsthewhump

[kilyra]

You Gotta F*ck Dead Guys?

A/N: My apologies right off the bat because Eric doesn’t actually make an appearance until towards the end - but until then, there are a few fun cameos! This follows immediately after “You Work for Him?” Like essentially a Pt 1, Pt 2 situation. 

After Eric’s display at Merlotte’s, you decide to head out outside and find him. That turns out to be a very, very bad idea.

Warnings: Bad language and violence. No spoilers though (I myself am only on S3 or 4, so this is an early Eric style fic…also, please don’t send me any spoilers).

If you want to be on my tag lists, (all or just a character) just let me know! (Credit for this amazing gif goes to @bonniebird​​​. Thank you SO much!)

Pressing your back against the wall, you were trapped by Lafayette's knowing stare when all you wanted to do was get back to your table. Finally, you raised your eyebrows in a silent question – what?

“You gonna tell me what that was all about or do I actually have to ask what the hell it is you got yourself into?”

“I didn't do this,” you snapped as your eyes darted to the side.

The adrenaline had yet to subside from your veins even more than an hour after Eric had left Merlotte's. Every time you calmed down, the scene would replay in your head and your anxiety spiked all over again. Taking a moment in the washroom and splashing cold water on your face didn't snap you out of it.

Your string of drinks almost had but...

Lafayette's voice dropped as he pointedly tilted his large metal spatula in your direction. "Girl, I'm not playing here. Eric fucking Northman would never come all up in this place for no good reason.”

Your mind skipped over why he had such strong opinions about the vampire and went straight to his accusations. Waving him off, you continued side-stepping along the wall – this was the last thing you needed. "Why don't you ask Sookie?"

“Well, honey, that's hard to do when she's a no show.”

Although he never tried to block your exit, his blunt statement stopped you just as effectively. As you swallowed back the new surge of panic that scrambled up from your chest, he leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. He was clearly waiting for you to come back to him with an expectant quirk of his eyebrow.

Running your tongue over your lips, you took a deep inhale. It didn't help. “She...didn't show up today? As in she's...missing?”

Taking a long moment, Lafayette's eyes dropped over you, making no effort to hide that he was searching you, head to toe, for visual clues of what was going on. “As in she called to say she couldn't make it. Again.”

A small glimmer of relief settled over your fear. It still wasn't good, but at least she wasn't dead. The fact that your mind went straight to death was something else you couldn't deal with. “I have to go.”

“Mmmhmm," he hummed in an irritated tone but didn't try to stop you. He had always been good at reading you and especially at knowing when it was pointless to push.

Hoyt and Jason immediately stopped their conversation as you approached the table and scooped your jacket from your side of the booth. Softly, Hoyt tapped his knuckles on the table to get your attention. “Oh, what? Sick of us already?”

You needed to find out what was going on, and Eric obviously wasn't coming back to the bar.

Scoffing lightly, you plastered a relaxed grin on your face. It came shockingly easily to you. “No, no, my ride's here is all. So thanks, it was fun...and hopefully tomorrow won't be such a shitty day.”

Rolling his eyes with a half shrug, Hoyt let it go. But Jason shoved himself from the booth and immediately stood in your way after you downed the last of your drink. His dark brown eyes were filled with deep-seated concern as he leaned towards you. "You sure it's a good idea to be alone right now? If you wait just a minute, I  can pay up and come with you."

Letting out a long sigh through your nose, you couldn't help the slight aggravation that swirled into your chest from his sweet gesture. Having him with you wasn't going to help. Finishing your sigh with a chuckle, and hoping that was a good enough cover, you added a nose crinkle to your ongoing smile. “Oh, come on now, there's nothing to worry about. I'm not in any danger.”

Jason's lips pinched together as he quietly thought everything over. “I don't know, Y/n. That didn't seem very friendly like.”

Resting your hand on his solidly toned arm, you gave a reassuring squeeze. “Seriously, Jason, it's fine. Besides, you have to invite a vampire into your home and you can't possibly think I'm that dumb.”

Because that would be dumb...

Glancing down at your hand, he rubbed the back of his neck before he finally nodded. “Aw, hell, of course I don't. I just...look you got my number, alright? Make sure you use it is all.”

After repeatedly promising, you were still shocked that he let you go without following you out. All it would have taken was a single glance outside to see there was no ride. But as you hurried out of the parking lot, no worried shouts came to try to stop you.

Although you had only walked to Merlotte's a time or two before, you were confident you knew the way back home. What you didn't count on, however, was how different everything looked in the dark. While it was unimposing during the day, the shadows from the trees seemed to reach out for you with clawing hands at night. You quickened the pace.

It didn't take long before the alcohol wore off enough that you started questioning how good of an idea it was. Truthfully, you hadn't expected to make it much past the bar before Eric turned up to confront you. But, as you made your way along the deserted rural road, the little voice of reason...the one that spent way too much time being quiet lately...spoke up.

Get back to Merlotte's. This was a stupid idea.

But, just as you paused to turn back, there was a rustling in the bush.

And, just like that, your doubts disappeared in a wave of anger – partly for confronting you like he did and partly for letting you walk alone as long as he did. Huffing forcefully, you spun on your heel. “Well holy shit, about time. You wanted to talk so badly, so come out of there and lets fucking talk.”

Silence.

Clenching your jaw, you scanned the trees, waiting for Eric or even Pam to emerge. After a few long moments, a figure finally came out of the brush. Flanked by a few other figures. None of them were the tall, slim silhouettes you were expecting. Your pulse raced just a little faster.

As they came onto the road, the silver moonlight lit up their faces and you recognized them immediately. The mouth-breathers from Merlotte's with the suspiciously clean trucker hats.

Your heart dropped.

“Bad news, you fangbanging bitch but it ain't your pretty boy vamp out here.” It was too dark to see which one said it. Not that it mattered.

“You think she was really just planning on talking?”

“No. What's a matter baby, is a real man too much for you? You gotta fuck dead guys?”

Their sneering comments back and forth flooded you with the horror of your situation. You were out there alone and severely outnumbered. Not even Jason's training could help the odds. Through your panic haze, one clear thought came to the surface.

Run.

Darting to the side, you scrambled headlong into the treeline, leaving them yelling after you as though it would stop you. Following their chorus of swears came the crunching of leaves and twigs as they trampled the ground behind you. Trying to part the way with your forearms up over your face, you ignored the thin vines and branches that scraped your skin.

Blindly running, you had no idea where you were going and sharply veered to the side to take a less predictable path. Stumbling forward, you caught yourself with one knee on the ground and your hand braced against a rough tree trunk. Holding your shaking breath, you listened for your pursuers but it was hard to hear anything over the rushing in your ears. It sounded like they had gone straight, that your turn might have helped...

Carefully, you pulled yourself to your feet, attempting to be quiet. Your chin quivered as the adrenaline caught up to you, railing against the painstakingly slow movements you were taking. As your heart hammered violently against your rib cage, you kept your panting to shallow sips of air and crept forward.

Your efforts didn't matter. Just as you came close to a clearing, thick arms wrapped around you from behind. Everything inside you screamed out, but you stayed silent as he growled. “Got you now, bitch.”

Dropping one foot back, you grabbed his elbow and bent forward, throwing yourself as hard as you could. He was too stunned to fight it as you pulled him with you, catching his side on your hip. His foot tripped on your shin, taking away his last chance of staying upright and he flipped onto his back in front of you, letting out a pained grunt.

It worked. Jason's relentless training worked.

The surprising victory was short-lived as you dropped your grip and started running. Suddenly, your face met the ground.

Blinking away the stars dancing over your vision, you turned back and saw his hand clamped over your ankle. His teeth seemed to glow in the dim light as he grinned and roughly yanked you back to him. Your body went on autopilot as you kicked your free leg at his face, grinding his nose under the heel of your boot.

Once. Twice. Three times.

Blood sprayed with each stomp, followed by the crunching, squelching sound of his broken nose being split open. His teeth didn't glow so much once they were coated in his dark blood.

Getting your feet under you, you didn't care how loud you were as you raced into the clearing. As you ran, you starting pulling a long, silver chain from around your neck. It was thicker than a decorative necklace so you kept it under your shirt, but it had been a good idea that Jason came up with. Or had gotten from Sookie, more likely.

Even though the assholes chasing you weren't vampires, the chain was solid enough to at least hurt if you whipped it hard enough. And you planned to.

Reaching the small clearing, you realized you didn't hear lumbering footsteps behind you. Not slowing, you scrambled to cross over to the trees on the opposite side. But before you dashed back into the bushes, an odd sound caught your attention. You couldn't help but freeze.

A rustle followed by a loud thud. And again. The sound got closer until the last one was just at the edge of the clearing where you kicked the man off you. But that time, you could hear a loud groan of pain. Something was very, very wrong.

Run.

A whooshing kicked up from behind as your feet came back to life and you dove forward. But the safety of the trees didn't get any closer. Distantly, you realized you weren't moving, your feet were just sliding on the grass. Something was holding you back.

Wrapping one end of the chain around your hand, you swung wildly as you turned. There was a blur and a hand caught your flailing wrist, the chain bouncing harmlessly off the sleeve of a leather jacket. The long, honey-blonde hair that framed your attacker's face didn't even stir at the unnatural motion. Looking up, you found yourself staring into piercing blue eyes before they dropped to the chain still swinging against the fabric.

Snapping back to you, with a high arch of the eyebrow, the memorizing eyes dulled with irritation. It took your scrambling mind a few seconds to realize who was holding you, frowning as though you were a child having a tantrum.

Pam.

Her grip was unyielding as she spoke over her shoulder. “Eric, if your pet burns me with silver...we won't have to worry about saving her anymore.”

“S-saving me? From...from those guys?”

Snorting, Pam finally let you go as she rolled her eyes. “Oh please. Like I'd waste my time saving you from idiot, drunken locals.”

“Speaking of those idiot, drunken locals, Pam...you didn't kill any of them, did you? Because we can't afford an incident like that right now.” Eric's cool voice seemed to drift to you from somewhere behind the vampire staring you down.

Shrugging, she turned towards the voice. “I wasn't trying to.”

“Pam.”

“What? They'll probably be fine. Hell, I couldn't have hurt them any worse than Y/n did. Did you see him? He hardly had a nose left...”

Your insides clenched as the image of his blood-covered face flashed through your mind, and Pam's grin made it worse. When she glanced down at you, there was even a hint of pride in her stare. It took everything you had left to force the bile back down your throat.

"Go get Chow from Y/n's house and bring the car here. We need to get back to Fangtasia." Apparently, they expected you to get a ride home as well.

Pam's smirk dropped, but she didn't argue. In a blur, she disappeared, leaving Eric standing before you. His eyebrows rose as he frowned. It almost looked apologetic, but you knew that couldn't be right.

Swallowing heavily, you desperately tried to stop your mind from reeling. Everything was a frenzied mess and you couldn't tell if you were relieved or angry to see his icy eyes drinking you in as he stood a few feet away.

“I suppose you expect me to be grateful or some shit?”

Your fire carved out a deep grin on his lips and...unless you were delusional..a similar look of pride to Pam's. But when he spoke, his voice was as dispassionate. “I only expect you to get in the car. As I said, we need to get back to Fangtasia.”

“A-as...as you said? Y-you haven't said anything! You cause this entire shit storm and then just start bossing me around?” The words sputtered out as you struggled to grasp any of your racing thoughts.

Blinking, Eric spread his hands apart, looking the part of the confused and innocent man. "I've spent this entire night trying to help you, at a great personal inconvenience I might add."

The chain rattled lightly as you balled your hands into tight fists. “None of this would have happened if you hadn't just shown up like that! What did you think would happen if you singled me out in front of a bunch of small-minded bigots?”

Stepping closer, he titled his head as a faint furrow traced a light line between his eyes. “And so you expect to keep this a secret? How well do you think that will work?”

Taking a subconscious step back, you thought you caught a fleeting look of disappointment flashing across his features. It stabbed at you. "I-I...this...This? What even is this​?”

Straightening, he turned his head slightly, as though he caught a distant noise that you had no hope of hearing. “At the moment? More of a problem for you than you realize.”

A thin layer of confusion rolled through you, forcing you into a sudden stillness. It wasn't the answer you were expecting. Even your voice grew softer. “Look...I'm sorry for how I reacted at Merlotte's but-”

His face snapped back towards you, cutting you short with just his hard stare. “While I'm sure it's tearing you up inside, that's not what I'm talking about.”

The sarcasm cut as deeply as his earlier look of disappointment, but you stayed quiet.

“It seems the declaration I was pushed into, claiming you as mine, has painted a target on your back.”

Your mouth went dry, and you stumbled back another step. Within that second, all the bolstering strength you found in training to defend yourself simply dissolved. What were you in his world but a lamb being led to slaughter?

“I...I don't understand?" Had there been even a slight breeze in the air, it would have swept your soft words away entirely.

Eric's cold features seemed to take on a mild hint of warmth as he moved towards you. His eyes bore into yours as he carefully set his hand on your arm. “I'll explain everything. But we need to go.”

Your gaze drifted past him, looking over the clearing. Somewhere in the trees laid several unconscious men. Bad men who were ready to do worse to someone they didn't even know. And yet, anyone passing by would have no idea. The world was still and calm. A quiet, deceptive lie in the soft light of the moon.

“Y/n, we need to leave. Now.”

Although his words had a trace of his usual, commanding tone, there was something subtly different. Almost like there was a plea buried deep in there. You both knew he could snatch you up and take you anywhere whether you wanted him to or not. And yet, there he was, asking you to see reason and make the choice to go with him.

A quiet confidence trickled through you, melting what was left of your anger. Things were changing and trying to keep fighting it was draining you to your core. Letting out a long sigh, you lowered the chain and stepped towards him, bumping your forehead against his chest. His heavy arm wrapped around your shoulder as you pulled yourself against him and finally nodded.

He gave a gentle squeeze before you pulled away and let him guide you from the clearing. “Good. Because we also have to get you cleaned up. You're a mess and we just can't have that.” 

That time, you were certain you saw a faint grin tug at the edge of his lips.

Taglist:  @foreverfaeries​  @flower-two​  @getlostinyourparadise​   @selfishkiddo​  @angelicshinigami​   @parkersbabey​  @thatchampagnebitch @mysteryoflovve  @edweirdoddlepot  @divadinag  @crazy-fandom-girl1  @givemeabite @breanime @shondlenoodle @hermionesalvatore84   @dyingformyships    @dreamers-wonderland @adriellej  @bitchader

[thatfanficstuff]

Impossible - 5

Pairing: Eric Northman x Reader

Warnings: Nope

A/N: It’s Eric day! Sorry it was just a little delayed.

***

By the time you pulled into the parking lot at Fangtasia, the lack of sleep was catching up with you. A glance at the time showed you still had almost two hours until sundown. Hopping out of your truck, you made a beeline for the door. You tried the handle just for the hell of it and found it unlocked. You let yourself in and frowned at the blonde that appeared from a back room.

“Who are you? You can’t just come in here.” The shrill edge to her voice made you wince.

Lovely. “Actually, I can because you left the door unlocked. Stupid.”

Her wide eyes stayed glued to you as she hustled past you to flip the lock on the door. “You need to leave.”

“Not here to cause any trouble. I just need somewhere to crash until Eric shows up. The couch I saw the other night should do nicely.” You stepped toward the room you’d spoken to Pam in. It had all appearances of being Eric’s office which meant the sofa would be long and comfortable.

The woman stepped in front of you and gestured toward the door. “Get out or I’m calling the cops.”

You laughed. “Eric would skin you if you called the cops to come to his club.”

She huffed and stomped a foot. “Fine then. I’ll call the vampire cops.”

You blinked at her. “Jesus, lady. How many times have you been glamoured exactly?”

“What?”

You gripped her arms and moved her to the side. “I am going to go sleep in Eric’s office. When he gets here you can tell him I overpowered you. Keep it down until then, would you? I’m exhausted.”

***

You heard Eric before you saw him. You’d been dozing on and off with an arm draped across your eyes.

“There’s some girl in your office. She wouldn’t leave,” the blonde you’d encountered earlier said loudly, probably the moment he walked in the door.

“And why did you not make her leave?” Eric sounded bored and you had the feeling he’d had similar conversations with the woman before.

“She overpowered me.”

Footsteps approached the door and you stayed just as you were. Maybe everyone would leave you be and you could get a little more sleep. Unlikely but possible.

The door opened and you felt Eric’s gaze run over you like a physical thing. “I’ll take care of it, Ginger. Just make sure we’re ready to open.”

He stepped in and shut the door being surprisingly quiet. Especially since he could tell you were awake by your breathing and heartrate. There was no way you were getting more sleep with him in the room. Not until you were certain he wouldn’t use the opportunity for retaliation at any rate. “You know, if you glamour that girl any more she’s going to start drooling.” You stayed as you were, unwilling to move just yet.

Eric huffed a laugh. “She’s a very loyal employee.”

“Mmhmm. Whatever you say, Eric.”

There was a beat of silence. “I didn’t expect you to be here.”

“You told me to be.” Anyone else you would have ignored and forgotten about considering everything that happened, but not Eric.

“That was before I received your phone call last night. And since when do you do as I ask?” There was a teasing tone in his voice and your heart beat faster.

This was your Eric. The Eric that you’d fallen in love with and that had fallen in love with you. “Why aren’t you being an asshole?” Your voice sounded more timid than you would have liked but there was nothing to be done for it now.

“I spoke with Godric.”

You lifted your arm to glance at him then put it back. Too much light. “I take it he confirmed what I told you.”

“Of course. I am still bothered you kept the truth from me, but I am willing to set that aside.”

You took that as your cue to sit up. If you were going to have this conversation with Eric, you wanted to do it while you looked him in the eye. You raked your hands through your hair though you doubted that you had mussed it much during your short nap. “How generous of you to be willing to set aside the fact I didn’t do anything wrong in the first place. Why are you always so…” You gestured at him. “You?” You supposed there were better ways to interact with the vampire but he always seemed to say exactly the wrong thing where you were concerned. If you weren’t so certain it frustrated him just as much as it did you, you would accuse him of doing it on purpose.  

Instead of responding to your question, he went very still and his features grew tight. He was furious and you had no idea what you had done to warrant that look. Surely your smart mouth hadn’t irritated him that much. He reached out and grasped your chin to turn your head to the side. He traced his fingers over the left side of your face, his touch surprisingly gentle. “What happened?”

You frowned. “What?”

“You’re bruised. When I spoke with you last night you told me that you were fine. So, when did this happen and who did it?”

You jerked your hand up and covered your cheek where Jason had hit you. You’d grown accustomed to the dull throb and had mostly forgotten about it. Damn it. At least it wasn’t you Eric was angry with for a change. “It’s not a big deal. Emotions were running high and things got a little out of control is all. I handled it.”

“All of that is very interesting but not what I asked. Who. Did. It?” His voice was no louder but his tone was sharper. He moved to sit beside you on the couch so he no longer towered over you.  

You sighed as you turned to face him fully. “And what are you going to do if I tell you, Northman?”

“I simply wish to have a discussion with him about touching that which doesn’t belong to him,” he said as if he was always perfectly reasonable and level headed and you shouldn’t have presumed he would be otherwise.

“Pretty sure he got the message when I bounced him off the side of his truck.”

The corner of his lips kicked up. “You always were rather capable. It was one of the many things I always admired about you.” He shifted his body to sit properly and draped his arms along the back of the couch. “So, what happened last night?”

You sighed and slumped in your seat suddenly feeling exhausted. “Sookie’s grandmother was murdered. It looks like it was the same person killing everyone else in town, which is good I guess because Bon Temps is too small to support two serial killers.” You ran a hand down your face. “It was brutal, Eric. She was a good soul. She deserved better.”

He hummed and you weren’t certain if it was just an acknowledgement or if it was an attempt at comfort. “What do you know about this killer?”

You shrugged. “Not much. He seems to be targeting fang bangers. Local cops want to blame Bill just because he’s a vampire. So they’re about as competent as you’d imagine.”

“What about the person that hit you? They obviously have control issues.”

You closed your eyes and shook your head. “I’m not going to slip up and accidentally say his name, Eric. Nice try though.”

He lifted a brow and gave a small tilt to his head as if to say he tried. Before he could say anything, the door opened drawing your attention. Pam stepped inside and gave a slow, sultry smile when she caught sight of you.  “Well, hello there.”

Eric sighed. “Pam. What do you need?”

“Longshadow says there’s an issue with the liquor distributor. You need to deal with it.”

“And you cannot?”

She shrugged one shoulder.

“Very well,” Eric said as he stood. “Y/N, I will return shortly.”

You got to your feet as well. “Actually, do you have somewhere I can change? My clothes are in the truck.” You’d neglected to bring them inside mainly because you weren’t certain you’d be sticking around. But you weren’t about to pass up the opportunity to spend time with this Eric. You’d missed him.

He grinned. “It would be my pleasure to have you naked in my office. Feel free to change here.”

Pam rolled her eyes. “There’s a room down the hall for the dancers. Even has a shower if you’re so inclined.”

“Thanks, Pam.” You patted Eric’s shoulder as you passed by him. “Nice try, Northman.”

***

By the time you had a conversation with Pam, took a shower, and got yourself ready, Eric was already holding court. You ran your hands over the length of your favorite little black dress making sure everything was in place before stepping out of the office. Your gaze immediately found Eric on his makeshift throne. His attention was on the man beside him as they had a quiet conversation and you took the opportunity to run your eyes over him.

He’d slipped a jacket over his black tank which made him look more professional. Regardless of what he was wearing, he looked every inch the Viking king he should have been. As if he felt your eyes on him, his head turned and his eyes locked on yours. He silenced the man beside him with a wave of his hand and leaned toward you. He didn’t even attempt to hide his blatant admiration and as his smile widened, you saw a hint of fang in it.

He beckoned you forward and you wove through the crowd until you stood in front of him. “You summoned me?”

His tongue darted out to lick his lips then ran over his teeth as his gaze flicked over you once more. “You look delicious.”

You shook your head though you couldn’t help a little smile. That always was his favorite compliment. “Thank you.”

He leaned back in his seat. “Join us, Y/N. Stewart here was just telling me about all my failures as a sheriff.”

You stepped up on the stage as the other man protested Eric’s words. Before you could take the chair to his other side, Eric softly grasped your wrist and tugged you down onto his lap. You immediately moved to stand and his hand settled on your waist, holding you in place. He traced his nose along the column of your throat as he moved his mouth to your ear. “Stay.” His lips brushed your skin as he spoke and a shiver ran through you at the intimacy.

It had been a long time since you’d found yourself in this position and as much as you wished to simply enjoy it, there was too much that needed to be said between the two of you. Before you could move, Eric spoke again. “Please.”

You relaxed against him and supposed that answer enough. You turned your attention to the other man who was watching the two of you with far too much interest. “Now, what was it you were saying, Stewart was it?”

Eric tightened his hold slightly before turning his attention to the other man as well. “Yes, Stewart. Continue.”

“Well, as I was saying, there are matters that really should be addressed. The Authority does not take kindly to lax enforcement in their regions. I’m afraid they will be most disappointed when I file my report.” You tilted your head and looked the man over. He wore a cheap suit and straightened his tie nervously as he avoided meeting either of your gazes. “Of course, I could be persuaded to ignore some of the more grievous failings.”

“What do you think, Y/N?” Eric asked you. “Should we give Stewart here what he deserves for such an offer?”

You rested your head against his shoulder. “Oh, certainly. You know it’s funny that I was just speaking to my father about this area and he happened to mention that the sheriff runs a tight ship. One of the few areas he didn’t have to worry about I believe he said. The irony, huh?”

Eric grinned. “Indeed.” He looked at Pam and nodded his head once. A moment later two large vampires were on stage grabbing the man.

“Wait!” he protested. “I thought we’d reached an understanding.”

“We have.” Eric waved his hand and the protesting man was led away by the two thugs that were doing a remarkable job of appearing they were just taking him for a walk.

Eric’s fingers pressed into your hip and you lifted your head back to look at him. “We need to have a conversation about this.” You gestured between the two of you.

He hummed in agreement as he pushed your head back to rest on his shoulder. Later. You could talk about it later.

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Reviews!: The Split Sword of Swanstatine! or Sometimes You Just Have to Punch Your Problems Away

The race for the missing mysteries takes Scrooge, the kids and a sorta hyjacked Lena and Violet to a mystical market to hunt down the pieces of the mythical sword of the warrior king swanstanine. Naturally a split artifact leads to a vignette episode as the kids pair up to find the pieces while Scrooge and Heron face off. Dewey and Webby face blindness, Louie and Violet face Louie’s reputation as an underworld kingpin, and Huey and Lena face Huey’s Feral Side. The race is on with full recap and spoilers under the cut. 

Not a lot of background here.. I was excited enough for this one as Steelbeak and Rockerduck came back, but I went from “This will be pretty good and oh look Flula Borg” to HOLY SHIT LENA AND VIOLET ARE BACK LET’S GO ALREADY. So yeah, there’s not a lot to get started here that can’t be done as we go, let’s get out there and talk about some ducktales.  We open in a vast marketplace whose name i’ve already forgotten.. it’s almost 4 in the morning here and I have terrible memory with name sometimes, I make no apologizes. Naturally given the big declaration at the end of the last episode the family is on the hunt for a missing mystery.. and Dewey is on the hunt for Street Meat, though Scrooge denies him any till they get the job done... I mean they can eat and go treasure hunting. They can do two things. Let him have some lamb dammit, spiced lamb is fucking delcious you monster! Or whatever that is the point is it’s larged, well seasoned and makes me hungry!  But starving his grandchildren aside, Scrooge has no doubt they can acomplish this as a family.. and then notices his future in laws are also there and his whole big speech game is thrown off by the question of why. To me it’s because we need more of them, quit old man your already 0-2 this episode, but turns out the explination is one of the funniest jokes of the season.. and this is a season that’s include “There now your susceptible to vampires”, “Yipiee Kai Yay Mr. Falcon!”, Darkwing’s Cookbook, Gene’s Soda Commerical, Gladstone having a mental breakdown over having to be a normal person, and Della trying to deflect the blame for traumatizing children. This bit is on par with that.  Violet explains that Scrooge told everyone to get on the plane. I assume Donald and Della are with their signifigant others, Beakly was getting some much needed therapy and Launchpad.. was flying the plane.. and also had Drake and Gosalyn with him because he double booked and had to take them with him to assist whatever ex of his is in trouble this week. Point is that bit’s freaking hilarious and Scrooge simply asks if they enjoy history and the answers are a predictable “Not really” from Lena, which given her own personal history is vast, terrible, and traumatizing up until the last year and her adoption by two gay men, relationship with a charming young lady, and gaining a beloved nerdy sister, that tracks. Violet of courser says it’s her life. Scrooge takes it: He’s used to having half his adventuring party either not caring about culture and history, the Saberwings just keep the average up. So Webby does the natural thing and tackle hugs her girlfriend and future sister in law while Scrooge smiles because why wouldn’t you. 

And I was happy about this: not just hte tackle hug, because that was precious, but Scrooge eagerly accepting them along for the ride. I was worried for half a second that as good as the gag was that’d be the episodes big underlying issue.. but nope, his confusion was more “Wait why are the extra children here”, than questions of worth and given their previous appearance had him willingly inviting them along, and Lena and Violet only opting out due to fears about her magic getting them all killed and to support her sister, it woudln’t of made any character sense for him not to, doubly so since their up against a shadowy organization of ruthless thugs. Granted Beakly likely sighed after returning from her midnight therapy and called the Saberwing parents by Ty and Indy are probably used to their daughter’s friends elderly Uncle taking them to strange places in the middle of the night by this point. I mean one of their daughters can turn bluper sayain now, the ship on normal behavior kind of sailed over a cliff a while ago. 

But Scrooge soon detects what he thinks is heron but is actually a woman who justifiably punches him. Turns out Heron was actually hiding in a stall though, and brought all her friends with her.. except Blot.. and while at first I was going to make a joke I realized they probably don’t want the guy who drains the magic out of everything near a magic artifact he’d probably destroy despite the consequences. So Bradford probably just sent him to murder the lucky charms leprechaun... he DOES have a life outside of trying to Murder scrooge... he can want to murder cereal mascots too. He’s a renascence evil mastermind. A sword fight ensues, with Scrooge telling the kids to pair up and go find the pieces while he keeps Heron busy. 

Cue Credits and cue the episode itself being split into three vignettes. I do love vignette episodes, episodes of half hour shows that split into 3 different stories taking place at the same time and break from the formula, with two of the best I can think of being the Avatar classic “Tales from Ba Sing Sei”, most famous for the really gutpunching bit with Iroh singing at his dead son’s grave.. jesus I teared up, not a joke or an exaggeration literally teared up, just thinking about it. On the opposite end we have the season 12 Simpson’s episode Trilogy of Error, which while during when the rot started to set in for the series is easily a classic on the sam tier as the first 10 seasons. It alfeatured an at the time young Daniel Radcliff as Lisa’s love interest, Marge getting accused of attempted murder after accidently chopping homer’s finger off, Bart and Milhouse turning informant ont he mob and  the tragic life of Linguo. It’s a classic. 

But yeah three pieces, three teams of two, and three story segments. So like last week I can easily divide the stories up and unlike last week I won’t be frontloading or forgetting anything since their divided up much more evenly and are played back to back to back rather than intercutting. So with that in mind...

Dewey and Webby: The Hidden Truths of Temporary Blindness and the Albino Snakes We Mistook for Cats Along the Way

The Dynamic Duo Returns! Seriously I did the legowork, I.e. went to google and despite the two’s dynamic being a sizeable part of season 1 and a plot point at the start of season 2, which also put the final nail in my shiping them coffin as it was very clear they were basically siblings in all but blood at this point and I wisely jumped off the ship and nuked it from orbit. But outside of Webby’s subplot with Dewey and Louie in “The Town Where Everyone Was Nice!”, it just.. hasn’t come up again. They’ve just had other dynamics to explore with the show and thus the two really haven’t interacted as much for the rest of the series thus far. They still interact, it’s just not really as a major part of any episodes plot till now. So while not a pairing I was expecting it was nice to have it back. For about ten seconds.  Yeah cards on the table this is the weakest of the three segements. While the other two have intresting settings, setups, and character dynamics we genuinely haven’t seen this one has.. a weird version of a dynamic we’ve seen done better, and an antagonist who feels oddly flat this go round. It’s just not THAT intresting despite some intresting moments but it’s best to just get into it to explain why. 

The basic setup is Webby is hoping to use bold de-ducktion to figure things out while flying under the radar while Dewey’s solution is naturally to ask everyone they meet, and then shout at Gandra when they do find the piece. This naturally gets a flashbang thrown at them, though we do get one great bit where Gandra asses their threat levels with Webby’s being high and Dewey’s being Eh, which tracks. And the thing that stings here is.. Gandra COULD’VE been an intresting opponent for Webby. While Huey and Violet, being fellow genuises as well as Huey’s personal stake in it for her hurting Fenton last year/season would be a better match, pitting Webby against someone just as focused and thought out in fighting, but who rather than use strength uses cybernetics and various gadgets would be really intresting, especially since the other two villian matchups are equally perfect. But instead.. it just feels like Gandra could’ve been replaced with a random fowl soldier. She just uses a flash grenade and some pakour, no real unique skills of hers or insight into her character or anything remotley intresting on her first Fenton-less outing just... “eh I use tech stuff because i’m the tech girl bleh”. The show can do better, and Jameela is given nothing to work with to the point I genuinely worried she’d been replaced.. she hadn’t, but it’s NEVER a good sign when you give an actor so little to do character wise I can wonder that. Also it’s a bit of a nitpick but it genuinely bothers me that Flula Borg, John Hodgman and Jason Mantzokus all got guest star credits.. but April Winchel and Jameela Jamil got nothing. And you could say April’s a long standing voice actor and all that.. but Tress Macneile also got a guest starring credit for next week’s episode solicit, so it’s clearly not that, and just comes off unintetionally sexist and obnoxious and has bothered me since the episode summaries came out. 

That out of the way the basic conflict is our heroes are flying blind, literally, with Dewey able to easily amble along, while Webby struggles as she can’t analize blind.. which comes off as bullshit to me. I HIGHLY doubt Beakly, paraoid mess she is, would not train her granddaughter to be able to fight without seeing. It’s one of the most basic training techniques in media. There’s a reason it pops up Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles a lot. To fight on instinct and with your other senses. And the instinct part is the lesson and insn’t a bad idea, it’s just the tool they use for it means they have to make Webby entirely helpless in a way that’s nonsensical to her character to make the plot work and it drags the bit down, thoguh we do get an utterly hilarious bit where Dewey mistakes a coiled white snake for a kitten. But our heroes make it through, Webby eventually saves Dewey with a leap of faith and Dewey has Webby hit a flash grenade back at Gandra which works somehow and blinds her optics despite you know.. someone who uses this kind of tech probably being smart enough to protect her own cybernetic eyes from flashbangs. But the kids have the piece.. and  a snake now even if it terrifies them. I wish one of them had taken it home a snake fits either of them and Webby’s dealt with worse.. which is the whole problem with this segment. That being said getting to see Dewey pull a hank venture and turn his normal near-suicidal reckleness into a strength was great I just with it was framed in a way that wasn’t “plannig and knowing things is stupid USE IMPULSE”. Thankfully we can move on.  Louie and Violet: The Silver Tongued Viper and The Violet Blade versus the Billion Dollar Man

Next up is Violet and Louie, a team up I didn’t expect at all but works well, and is a much better contrast. Webby and Dewey are similar enough, despite his rampant stupidity, that having a “one side teaches the other how to use something else and tap into their inner self”lesson didn’t work> Here it works perfectly: Someone who speaks frankly and seeks the truth through reason and research paired with someone whose greatest and most cherished talent is the ablility to lie and swindle. It’s a good contrast. Their headed for the underworld since, as I forgot to mention, each of the clues is framed as coming from the heavens (the first piece being on top of a statue), the underworld and the heart of the earth.

 Violet, and understandbly given her sister is magic and the general nonsense the duck family runs into, takes the underworld part literally taking an axe and some coins to pay the ferryman with her. Louie however figures it’s usually just a flowry way of putting a con..  and while he’s wrong about mythology given the ducks have met gods and the ENTIRE next episode (which likely features selene since i’ts now established they leave out guest stars if there’s more than three apparently) is about the gods they met... his instincts are not wrong and it is nice they aren’t. Sure some myths are real but sometimes a clue isn’t literal, and it’s clever that hte underworld here is the criminal underworld. 

Turns out center piece for the sword is an underground den for the criminal underworld focused around spice eating and general no goodnik shenanigans and Louie’s come prepared. In a bit of character stuff I REALLY love, Louie’s built up a rep as “The Silver Tounged Serpent”, with him bluffing that violet is his companion, having simply used a web of lies and word of mouth to build him up as the worst and most vile criminal imaginable. It’s not a bad plan and while Violet rightly points out he’ll have to live up to it eventually, and Louie naturally deflects that as “Future Louie’s” problem, not realizing in this case Future Louie is about 2 minutes from being present Louie, it’s not a bad scheme. Sure it’s risky as hell and he picked the worst place to use it.. but having an alias he can use to sneak into places like this where Scrooge would be made in an instant, and can easily come up with lies for the rest of his family minus Huey, whose useless not for being easily detectable but because he can’t lie to save his life and this very episode cements it. Most of his family is certified grade a badass, and can easily help him bluff or back up his claims or make him look like one. it’s just this time he happened to get Violet instead whose brutally honest and while badass, isn’t great at running con games nor pleased about any of this. That and Louie’s biggest weakness is forthought: While his brothers either don’t plan at all or overplan, Louie underplans: He has good ideas and good schemes and scams.. it’s just he has no real endgame for any of them and Violet sees right through that.  Still meeting the Spice Baron, played by Flula Borg who I mostly know from this song he did with Ninja Sex Party, though I also forgot he was in PItch Perfect 2...

Your welcome. But while he’d like to give our fake arch criminal his prize, someone else already offered him a literal, not figurative ton of cocaine.. I mean Gold. Got the wrong show there for a second. Unsurprisingly it’s Rockerduck whose done this and unlike the wasted opprotunity above this battle of wits is between the perfect opponents. Rockerduck is easily what Louie would become without his family: A shifty conman with a flair for lying, contacts in the criminal underworld and aversion to doing the hard work himself. He’s such a perfect opponent for Louie I don’t know why I never considered the two going head to head before, but it’s utterly fantastic. John Hodgman is also far and away the MVP of the episode guest villain wise, with some of the best lines too, my favorite being, after making a spice pun, demanding the assorted roughnecks “Laugh, LAUGH AT MY SPICE PUN”.. just the way he demands it with a mixture of karen and a whiny teenager is inspiried. But yeah, Rockerduck knowing who he’s dealing with challenges Louie to a spice duel, basically eating the hottest spices imaginable till one folds, winner takes all.  Naturally Louie’s ep included being a champion at this, and naturally his first instincts are to bail and when that fails, keep lying while Violet encourages him not to. I mean he’s ignored the pink and red angels on his shoulder telling him not to do bad things, why would the new purple one be any different. But Rockerduck has the edge as his taste buds were burned off in cryo.. though in another great line he laments he can never enjoy hard boiled eggs again. Which fair enough but.. you know two geniuses.. one of them can simulate taste buds. Regardless, Louie’s in trouble and his attempt to simply cheat his way out fails and the baron dosen’t tolerate Cheaters.. or Cheetahs.. or Cheating Cheetahs as seen in a great sight gag with a cheetah which requires the Baron to clarify it’s both. Point is Louie is screwed.. but Violet then downs all three, without a bead of sweat for reasons the episode explains at the end of this segment, but works since we don’t know violet well and the mystery of how she did it is a compelling question for a second. Our heroes have won but Rockerduck plays his trump card: that they aren’t who their saying they are.. but turns out the truth is even better than the lies Louie has, as Violet quickly spins Louie’s legend with the outright acomplishments he’s had, including defeating the bombie and defeating Scrooge’s entire Rogue’s gallery with a pen stroke.. both true. And unlike the last segement this bit of true strength feels earned: Louie’s other ablility besides lying is seeing all the angles.. and thus like Violet.. he sees the truth. He can see what a person feels, know them better than they may know themselves or the lies they might tell themselves simply through a keen eye. He can pick apart a million dollar defense system simply with a few glances as seen last episode. Louie’s lies may be useful.. but his biggest strength is inddeed his ablility to see the truth. Louie backs violet up as conquerer of the shadow realm (techincally true) and scourge of magica de spell (not even remotely true as Magica has the same problem with face blindess scrooge has with Darkwing and just Darkwing but with everyone). Rockerduck tries to complain but the crowd turns on him, our heroes escape, and Louie compliments violet. As for how she did it meditation, which fits her pefectly so I easily accept it, and a spice of the month club.. which is oddly specific but eh, this bit was really fun so i’ll give it to her. Plus her usualy steely demanor means she likely has a great poker face.. as seen by the fact sh’es soon guling a nearbye trough of water and screaming. Great.  As you can tell I liked this segment better, as it’s a clever duel that uses wit instead of strength ilke the others this episode, and forces Louie to find his real strength as his usual one backfires and really helps define Violet even more giving her a strong sense of truth, which fits her like a glove, and a nice dynamic with Louie. It was an odd pairing, but it worked wonders and brought the episode back to life after the last segment killed some of the momentum. And thankfully that momentum keeps rolling into the best segement:

Huey and Lena: Harnessing Your Inner Feral Goblin Child for the Greater Good

As you’d expect, our heroes are doing what they do best: Lena is trying to reign in a quirky nerd, and Huey is overthinking everything by trying to triangulate where the blade of the sword is. Naturally Lena just finds it as it’s embeeded in a compasss pattern on the earth, hence being part of the earth. Unsurprisingly Lena’s solution.. is to wack it free with a mallet... you know there’s a reson she’s one of my favorites and it’s nice to see two of my faviorites who haven’t interacted hardly at all have some time together. Naturally Huey objects to destroying the thing they came for and figures out how to remove it using the clues. Unfortunately for him, but happily for me, Steelbeak is back! 

I missed this feral asshole, and Jason while not getting a ton of lines sadly, does make the best of what he has, and is used less as himself on purpose. Also while he’s still kind of a moron, as I mentioned in my Tiff of the Titans review, this version is still CLEVER. He may not be book smart, but he can think on his feet and come up with plans and here.. his plan was the best of the three we’ve seen: Just wait for the ducks to come by and solve it for him and then beat them up and take it or as he puts it “Not the first time a nerd did my homework for me. “ Dumb dosen’t always mean incompetent, and he still has his classic self’s easy sense of planning.  Had Lena not been there he would’ve won his piece and been the ONLY member of his group to do so. But Lena is there and now fully trained, so she stops steelbeak by freezing time, Za Warudo! style. Though unlike DIO she can’t manipulate anything, or go get a steam roller though given her powers she can probably make something into one, so tha’ts still on the table. She instead enters someone’s mindscape and uses that to freeze time for a bit.. how .. I have no idea, but it’s an interesting concept and the white look of the void their in now is neat, with only steelbeak himself present in a black and white negative of himself.  Huey takes this as time to plan indeiftely till he finds one that works, shooting down actually fighting Steelbeak as “a cowardly brute’s way out”. We then get a great montage as Huey tries everything, from reasoning, to barganing, to crying, to a TON of hilarious and obviously ineffectual disgusies, to lying.. which as you’d expect is simply holding the massive sword blade behind his back and going “what sword.” It’s a really great montage that shows off two things: Danny Pudi’s talent, and that Huey.. can’t reason or trick his way out of this. He can’t plan his way out. And that’s why Steelbeak is the perfect foe to put him up against: Unlike Webby who faced something she could understand and Louie, who simply faced his evil counterpart, Huey faces his exact oppsotie: Huey thrives on logic and as we soon learns bury’s his emotions and impulses and dosen’t fight unless he HAS TO and even then it’s usually in a group. Steelbeak.. is a dumb, impulsive, thug who thinks out his plans on the fly, if at all, laughs at logic, and thinks the best solution to everything is punch it or blow it up. He can’t be reasoned with, Huey isn’t good enough at deception to trick him, and outrunning him was the first thing Huey tried and failed miserably. Steelbeak is made of huey’s blind spot, his inablaity to act without thinking. And he can’t fight it. 

While Lena’s humored him despite her annoyance with Huey’s stubborness, she finally breaks and tries to force him to admit he has to brute force his way out, with Huey refusing.. but his refusal brings out a door to “the duke of making a mess”. Naturally something this ominous and personal, and the fact they have no other options and she wants to prove a point, is catnip to Lena who lets the king out.. who turns out to be what you’d get if Bart Simpson’s evil deformed twin Hugo and the messed up Dipper Clone from Gravity Falls did a fusion dance. While also in a nice nod looking VERY similar, with his broad fangs and red eyes, to the evil version of mickey from runaway brain. It’s also somehow the SECOND TIME i’ve seen a child supress his negative emotions to the point they manifested into a person shoved deep inside our hero’s head. Lena naturally loves this feral goblin who Huey explains as all his impulses and emotoins, his spur of the moemnt ones anyway, funneled into one being so he can use logic and only logic.  So basically.. Huey is bruce banner.. get.. this kid.. some therapy. 

Point is Huey dosen’t want to embrace his wild side, while Lena points out he needs to, and that sh’es learned from experince being a part of ones self someone ignored entirely as Magica’s shadow he can’t just ignore this and hope it goes away. And given Bruce Banner eventually got several more split personalities which turn into hulking rage monsters, which are a sadist with a good core, a raging child and a las vega leg breaker, and that KO repressing TKO just lead to his other half killing everything he loved and only getting that snapped back thanks to god himself... yeah maybe Lena’s right. And this really brilliantly plays into Lena’s development: Her past two episodes have been entirely about her solving a problem, her nightmares and her wondering magic, that she’s been running from by facing it. She’s learned by now you can’t just ignore something and expect it to go away. Again, that’s how you get Hulks. You have to face your sometimes literal demons and yourself to get better and make things better. And now she’s learned that, it’s Huey’s turn. His entire problem has been that he functions entirely on reason and when reason can’t work, he falls apart. It’s something I honed in on last week and has come up again. The point Lena, and the episode, is making with this bit is that sometimes you just have to trust yourself and go with your gut.  Huey, reluctnatly lets the duke out who goes Donald on Steelbeak... seriously while the big team shot of the cousins and triplets at the end of season 2 showed Huey as Fethry.. he’s easily the most Donald of the group. He’s considerate, romantic, seriously the date he set up for Fenton really was sweet and Violet is in for some very nice evenings.. but also stubborn, prone to mental breakdowns, badly needs therapy (which donald IS getting so there’s hope), and when angry is a demon sent straight from hell. I REALLY hope this gets pointed out at some point.  However without focus the Duke is useless so Lena convinces Huey that he needs to not fight the duke as some evil demonic part of him but accept him: USE his rationality and strategy with his more violent and angry impulses. The two reunite with a hand shake, seriously i’m getting so many KO and TKO vibes this episode what the actual hell, and thei rmerged self easily beats steelbeak witha  wedgie and tied shoelaces. It’s beautiful to see and Lena is brought to tears.  Before we get to the finale, this was EASILY the best segment, using Lena’s character growth to faciltiate Huey’s that’s been going on all season: making him see he needs to step out of his comfort zone of logic and accept his own inner strenght, his complete self, to really function. It’s good well done stuff and the setting is really intresting.  THE FINALE: You are my Inner Strength

So naturally all the parts come together as Scrooge and Heron’s fight lands near Huey and Lena with Webby, Dewey, Violet and Louie all showing up soon after. Scrooge in a really nice moment is  utterly proud of the kids, having had the utmost faith in them to get the pieces, and having his faith validated. He may be a cynical, sometimes assholish, old man.. but he loves and believes in his kids and future kids in law, he trusts them more than himself and he’s come far enough to not doubt them when he needs them most. FOWL however has regrouped, and Scrooge.. just gives them the assembled sword. Unsurprisingly, if still awesomely this is a ploy: Heron tries using the sword.. but it flies out of her hand and into Scrooges. He out gambited them. Also getting JoJo’s Bizzare Adventure vibes this episode with all the planning and counter planning and I am loving it. As he explains the sword reponds to true inner strength,  while heron is all surface level: All malice and schemes and nothing beneath her character, as are the others. There 3 dimensional characters.. but their all pretty open with who they are and not really open to introspection, where as our heroes are and thus grew.. and Scrooge already knows his inner strength: The kids. THey helped him  become a better person, all of them except violet and she just joined the family give her time. They’ve all helped him let his walls down and let people in again after the tragedy of della destroyed him emotionally and put the walls up thick, with Lena being the one to finally get him to destroy them for good. They’ve all helped him be better and he’s helped them all be better in turn, giving them a live of adventure where there their best selves and becoming great kids who will become incredible adults. Their love for one another is what drives them. And thus activates the sword. FOWL seemingly decides to just book and our heroes have won.  Scrooge rewards his kids, new additons included, with some street meat cut byt he sword, and we get nice little shots of the lessons having sunk in with Huey knawing into his like a rabid wolf and Dewey and Webby sharing theirs blindly i’ts a sweet conclusion to a fun episode. But given we’re in the thick of the story arc now, FOWL naturally didn’t just book it for no reason.. this was all a setup. Heron calls back to Bradford with a mission accomplished and a lock of scrooge’s feathers. 

It’s genuinely impressive as there’s no way F.O.W.L. can loose here: They win the sword.. and they have both the feathers for whatever nightmare they have planned for the Ducks, and another Missing Mystery for their grand scheme. They loose.. and they likely already have a plan to get any mysteries the ducks gather, just like last time, and they still get what they want. Either way Scrooge and the audience are unaware of the real plan, and FOWL is still ahead. 

Dew-abolical! 

Final Thoughts for the Episode as a Whole:

While a bit weaker than the last two weeks, and almost entirely thanks to the first segment, this episode is still a fun ride and a great way to kick things off now the ducks and F.O.W.L. are both on the offensive. It was also a great way to bring the Saberwing Sisters back and give them some fresh dynamics outside of Webby for a change, bring back some old faviorite vilians and in general pack a fun, Barks and Rosa style adventure story into the myth arc while still dripping with the character progression and dynamics this show lives for. One dark spot aside this really is a great episode, and the other two segements are clever and fun enough to easily ignore that. This season continues to be the show at it’s absolute peak doing what it’s always done best: taking the past and making something fantastic with it.  Next Week: The kids, sadly minus my girls, audition to replace Zeus! Horay! Finally Zeus got MeTooed! It took long enough.. I mean they wrote entire sonets about his sex crimes. This isn’t a Bill Cosby situation where it suprised the general public, no one liked him since greek times to begin with. Also DAISY RETURNS! Horay! And so does the incredible storkules, MASTER OF COCKBLOCKING!  Also Horay! Seriously unlike the last two blocks of episodes there’s not a one i’m not excited about in the bunch.  Until then you can check my blogs for more reviews, and I plan to do the first episode this month and adjust my patreon rewards accordingly. You can follow said patreon at pateron dot com/popculturebuffet, comission reviews of other ducktales or cartoon episodes for 5 dollars an episode by shooting me an ask or message on here, and get out and vote tomorrow.. that’s not related to me but given how crucial this election is. Do it get out and vote. Until we meet again it’s been a pleasure. 

[shauds-archived]

Can we get more Jay Eddie please???

Okay, so there was no word with this one, so I didn't know if it was a table request, or just a general " Will there be more of Jason and Eddie" thing. Just waited till I had something to post with it anyway.

Another add on to " Do Not Engage" Just Jay and Eddie hanging around and catching up, :).

They went for pancakes - smothered in syrup and cream - caught up a little - incredibly awkward with how little either of them were really willing to talk about - and there was no more physical violence involved which was more than could be said of most social interactions Jason tried to engage in. Not that he'd really expected much more violence on Eddie's end, Jason had been more concerned about himself with that, maybe with Spoiler, maybe any of the other costume run-around about Gotham wondering where she and Kid Devil had gone.

"Be back soon," Eddie said when it was over, with a grin that's cheeriness wasn't offset by either fangs it revealed, or the way it literally lit up his face in the alley behind the diner.

"Just go make sure they don't think I mugged you." Jason kept his tone casual was he waved them off.

"Technically, couldn't we kinda say we mugged you?" Spoiler said, pulling her face mask down now she'd finally finished clearing away the copious amounts of syrup she'd gotten on the fabric. "Attacked you in the Bowery and took your money?" She cocked her head at them.

"Don't you dare."Jason warned, but couldn't find the heat to put behind it.

She chuckled and patted his cheek. "See you 'round McHostage."

That was exactly the story she was going to tell, he knew it, and Eddie wasn't going to refute it.

"I'm not buying you pancakes again." Jason yelled at the fiery... portal? Eddie had opened.

She waved again, her hand slipping away the last of them he saw, and then they were gone. The alley was quiet, cold as Gotham always was on the cusp of another storm. Soon the background noise - cars, sirens, chatter and shouts - rushed in to fill the silence they'd left. It'd been nice while it lasted. Jason tugged up the collar of his jacket against the wind, tucked his hands into his pockets, and started on his way to his nearest heated safehouse.

He got to the end of the alleyway when the ring of fire appeared in front of him again and Eddie came stumbling out. Literally stumbling, he took one step and fell over.

"Gopher!" Jason caught him before he could hit the wet, grimy asphalt. "What the hell?"

"No one calls me tha' 'nymore." He slurred and looked up at Jason with half-lidded eyes, then turned away with and let Jason pull him back to his feet.

"What happened?" Jason asked, circling Eddie, looking him over for injuries.

"Said I'd be back soon." Eddie said, running his forearm over his eyes. "Stop that." He batted Jason's prodding hands away from his head. No obvious signs of concussion, but... "Just been teleporting all day." He planted a hand on his hip and gave Jason a thumbs up. "All good now."

"You sure?" Jason didn't move to far from Eddie, kept his arms out, ready to catch him again juts in case.

"They're my powers, Jayce, I know how to handle them." Eddie jabbed the thumb at his own chest. "So what're we..." He took a step out of the alley and tipped over.

Jason sighed deeply and thanked his paranoia that he hadn't been able to keep from wearing the heat resistant padding under his t-shirt.

000

"I swear you used to be smarter." Jason shook his head and kicked the fridge closed, then slid the glass of orange juice across the island to Eddie.

"Wasn't sure I'd find you again." Eddie took a big gulp of juice, and then a bite of toast

>

Jason ignored the sting he felt a at that, folded his arms and leaned against the counter where he would keep a close eye on Eddie. "I meant that recruitment drive bullshit." He'd seen some pretty messed up side effects of exhaustion over the years, some particularly nasty one from metas, it didn't hurt to be cautious. "You know what that sounds like, right?"

Eddie sank down a little on the on the chair Jason'd pulled over from the the living room. "It's not like that, a lot of kids need the Titans, and we're really short on members right now, so..."

If it were kids that needed the Titans, the Titans wouldn't need recruitment drives. It wouldn't have a higher turnover rate then the damn Justice League. Jason pressed a hand over the bridge of his nose and held back a sigh. This was an argument he'd had many times, one he'd never won, getting into a screaming match wasn't going to help anything. Eddie had survived getting his torn open, h could teleport, he'd be fine. Jason scooped up the empty glass and brought it back to the fridge for a refill.

"Not like anyone was was interested." Eddie shrugged and accepted the glass, brought it to his lips along with the toast, then stopped halfway through the motion. "Or... Hey, your technically still a Teen, right?"

Jason couldn't stop the laughter that broke out from his chest at that, at the very idea that he would ever so much as consider that, so much as be considered, ever. "Not a chance in this or any universe, K.D."

"Was worth a shot."

Eddie said, turning his nose up at Jason. He he popped the last piece of toast into his mouth. "And it's actually Red Devil now."

"Well, no one's ever accused you of being a coward." Jason took the plate to rinse the crumbs off it and heard the scraping of Eddie pushing his chair back from the ground. "And is R.D gonna pass out on me again?"

Eddie's chuckle was nervous. "Nah, R.D's good, just needed a boost. Man this is weird."

"Nah, I get attacked by demons every other night."

"I can't even tell of you're joking." Eddie said and hopped up to sit on the counter. "Guess it's not that weird anymore, but still, I just never thought, you were, you know."

"Yeah." Jason dried the plate and stacked it with the others. "I know." Jason wouldn't have believed it himself if someone had told him at fifteen that this was what he'd be. "I woulda told you, if I'd thought..." Jason pressed a hand against his eyes and huffed.

"M'not mad about that anymore." Eddie was swinging his legs, looking out the window at the stormy city. He was like something out of a B grade horror movie, just like he'd wanted when he'd been a kid, and he was still the most like what Jason remembered out of all of them. "Well I am, I guess, but not really at you."

"Thanks." Jason ducked his head and stepped around the island for the doorway. "So, we haven't tried to beat the crap out of each other yet, and I have no idea what we do now"

There was a thump of Eddie's feet hitting the floor and he was following after Jason. "I wanted to watch Ballistic: Ecks vs. Server the other night, and Amy kind of looked like she wanted to beat the crap out of me for it."

"You hate that movie."

"How do you remember that?"

"Hard to forget when you practically wrote me an essay on it."

000

Four odd years would be a long time for anyone. For people who lived like Jason and Eddie, who'd changed as much as they had in that time, it was pretty much an eternity. So much had happened, more than either could have guessed at and a lot that neither of them easily understood. So they talked.

They talked about Dan and Aunt Marla and the multiverse and the Titans. More about Eddie than about Jason, because whenever conversation turned to the older of the two, he'd find a way to steer it back around.

The movie played in the background, both of them paying more attention to each other and the bowl of popcorn between them than the screen. Eddie joked about how between the pancakes, the toast and now the popcorn, it seemed Jason was incapable of conversation that wasn't over food. Jason flipped him off and shoved a hand of popcorn in his mouth in lieu of a reply. Eddie brought up the swear jar he and Rose had made use of at the tower, when she'd still been there.

When the movie was over, they swapped it out for something equally bad and put it just loud enough to block out the sounds of the storm that made Gotham at daytime dark as twilight. And then they talked about Twilight and Eddie felt terrible about subjecting Jason to the horror.

"Can't believe you found the vampire hunter world and it's the old-timey one you wanted to stay in." By that point, Eddie was only half on the couch, having slid down lower and lower to the ground over the course of the night h had to look past his shoulder to see Jason. Or maybe not, it actually did sound a lot like 'Extra Credit History Assignments For Fun Jason.'

"Yeah." Jason had chuckled, only half awake himself and curled up in two thirds of the couch, Eddie suspected it had been a while since he'd slept at all. "Kyle got infected there." He linked his fingers and stretched his hands up and over his head. Eddie rolled his eyes and dragged the bowl of cold, and now too salty popcorn off the couch and onto his lap. " But can hunt vampire's here."

Eddie hummed in agreement and massaged his tired eyes, turned them lazily to the screen where a bunch off teenagers were shrieking very unconvincingly about a witch. "You wanna hunt a vampire?" Eddie slid still further off the couch, and this time Jason's legs uncurled a little to claim the space Eddie had vacated.

"No m'sleeping." Jason yawned and buried his face in the armrest, he looked a lot more comfortable than Eddie, who gave in and let himself fall the rest of the way to the ground. The carpet was soft too, well soft enough, Eddie didn't have the energy to get up and reclaim couch space. "Do it with the Titans."

"Titans don't hunt things." Eddie yawned too, great, he'd caught it from Jason and now he was going to fall asleep too. "We just kind of..." He flopped a hand in circles as the yawn winded down, "Get attacked by supervillains 'n stuff."

"So heroic." Jason scoffed, then he shifted so he was laying on his back, eyes on the ceiling, abruptly tense and nowhere near as comfortable as he'd been a moment ago. "Speaking of, you gonna be heading back soon?"

"No, I don't..." Eddie turned around, so he was kneeling, facing the couch and Jason. "I can hang a little longer."

"Ah." Jason nodded once, scrubbed a hand over his face before folding both arms behind his head and closing his eyes.

"Unless." Eddie bit down on his bottom lip, shifted his gaze quickly to the door and back, something heavy and cold settling on his shoulders. Jason hadn't expected Eddie to be back right after dropping Spoiler back at the tower, he knew that, and then, Eddie had been here for hours already, he knew he could be a little inept at telling when he'd worn out his welcome. "Did you want me to leave you alone?"

"No." Jason said, a deep line having appeared between his eyes and his lips set in a frown. "I wouldn't want you to go." He rolled his shoulders, a nervous gesture that didn't fit him "Just figured, you had thing's to do, n you'd wanna get back 'fore they knew you were..." He motioned at himself and then around at the apartment. "Y'know."

"I don't." Eddie tucked some strands of hair behind his ear and shifted away from the couch to keep the sudden spike in his body temperature from burning it up. "And I know you don't really thing I'd ditch you for such a dumb reason." He fixed his eyes on Jason and tried to smile, he was good at that. "I swear you used to be smarter."

Jason finally looked at Eddie, blinked owlishly at him with eyes so wide, Eddie might have thought it was funny if it hadn't made him turn every bit of the carpet he was touching to charcoal. Then Jason snorted and shook his head as he rolled off the couch. "I gotta fire-proof this apartment sometime."

"Yeah, that's a really, really good idea." Eddie winced and shifted away from the carpet he'd destroyed.

"Ima grab the fire-extinguisher, you get another movie going." Jason was gone from the room minutes after the sounds of him rifling through the kitchen came to an end.

The room was too dark to be sure, but when he came back in, Jason's eyes were suspiciously red. When he didn't bring it up, Eddie let himself pretend it was because his friend was short a couple hours too many of sleep.

They didn't do much more talking that night, but that was fine, there'd be plenty more time for catching up on others.

[hellyeahrpmemes]

※ TRUE BLOOD 1x02: THE FIRST TASTE SENTENCE STARTERS ※

starters from the second episode of the first season of hbo’s “true blood”! feel free to change names/pronouns/etc.! more true blood

“I didn’t kill her.”

“I never met any vampire, and I hope to hell I never do.”

“I’m not that smart.”

“Quick, drink, before the wound closes.”

“Goddamnit, Sookie, do you want to live or not?”

“Would I be a vampire?”

“I’m on the way to a party in Monroe, and hell, no, I’m not swinging by to pick your needy ass up.”

“What’s depressing is how often I get this phone call from you.”

“You might got to find your own ride home, just in case I get lucky.”

“Your standards are so low, you always get lucky.”

“Did I say you could come in?”

“Look, Jason, it’s 3:00 in the morning.”

“You have no idea what I’ve been through since last night.”

“I thought I’d ruined my whole life.”

“Do I taste different from other people?”

“What I am is telepathic. I can hear people’s thoughts.”

“May I ask you a personal question?”

“There must be some people who know about your talent.”

“I do my best to stay out of their heads.”

“Most people just think I’m crazy.”

“I should be getting home.”

“What’s a fine girl like you doing sitting here all by herself.”

“I was made a vampire in 1865.”

“There’s nothing glorious about dying in a war.”

“Would it make you happy if I did this?”

“Vampires don’t seek to control human policy, it’s of very little interest to us.”

“Are you accusing my organization of criminal activity?”

“Yes, you can take a shower here, and you can borrow some of my clothes.”

“You obviously did not hook up with that vampire last night.”

“You know they can hypnotize you.”

“I’m sorry I was such a bitch to you last night.”

“You’re basically my only friend.”

“You will never believe what happened.”

“This is still a restricted crime scene.”

“Your grandmother lets you associate with a vampire?”

“They’re really not that different from you and me if you bothered to try to get to know one.”

“You’re a good girl. I hate to see you going down this path.”

“I don’t know why everybody’s getting their panties in a wad about some stupid vampire.”

“Aren’t you going to tell me to be careful?”

“What do you know about vampires anyways?”

“You have to invite me in. Otherwise, it’s physically impossible to enter a mortal’s home.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that, if I were you.”

“There’s a reason things are the way they are.”

“This is my house. I will not tolerate rudeness.”

“I don’t think it’s any of your business.”

“Thanks for making me look like a fool in front of him.”

“I don’t believe I fully gauged the extent of your strength.”

“Over the years, we become stronger and more skillful at hiding what we’ve done.”

“You drank a lot of my blood.”

“You’ll have keener senses. Your libido will be more active. I’ll always be able to feel you. I’ll be able to find you fast.”

“You’re gonna have to give me a minute, here. I’m feeling a little overwhelmed.”

“How’d you get to be so smart?”

“I am constantly doing things I shouldn’t and end up getting me in trouble.”

“I don’t feel comfortable with that.”

“You don’t like not being able to control people, do you?”

“Humans are usually more squeamish about vampires than you are.”

“Who told you we need money?”

“Do you know why you’re here?”

“Can you tell me what I’m thinking?”

“Why was that doctor so scared?”

“She tried to protect me even though I scared her.”

“You really don’t consider yourself human at all?”

“Take your clip out.”

“I can smell the sunlight on your skin.”

“You’re not leaving me here like this.”

“You can just think of it as foreplay.”

“This ain’t funny, goddamnit!”

“Ain’t you ashamed of yourself?”

“Remind me why I hired you again?”

“You wanna let go of the lady, or you want me to knock you into next week?”

“Maybe you and your friends should find someplace else to eat.”

“Did you just read my mind?”

“My private thoughts are none of your business.”

“Wanna step into my office?”

“Not all surprises are good.”

“Baby girl, don’t even let that get you down.”

“Don’t let nothing get you down. It’s the only way to live.”

“He’s probably pretty pissed off at me right now, but, hell, he probably deserves it.”

“I’m surprised you and him got back together.”

[zombiesbecrazy]

Five Times With Feeling - Part 5/5

Summary: It wasn’t like Barbara had never watched Buffy without Dick, but it definitely wasn’t the same without his running commentary beside her.

Or four times Dick and Barbara watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer together and one time they didn’t.

Written for @batfamcontentwar ​‘s #halloweencontentwar

ao3  Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Part 5 - After the Crime Syndicate

“What you watching, Red?”

Jason’s voice interrupted Barbara’s train of thought as she stared at the screen, trying to find what she was looking for. She looked up to see Jason and Tim come into the room, carrying soft drinks and bowls of snacks. “Nice shirt, by the way.”

Barbara smiled and looked down at her grey and blue Nightwing t-shirt. Dick had bought it for her one day a few months ago when they had been wandering around downtown, trying to decide on a place to have lunch.  He had seen it in the window of one of those touristy shops that a local Gothamite wouldn’t normally be caught dead in, full of knick knacks and cheap souvenirs. He had dragged her inside, saying that she definitely needed a shirt of her favourite vigilante and feigned the appropriate amount of indignation when she said that she didn’t see any Black Canary memorabilia anywhere in the shop. He bought it for her anyway, grumbling about not being able to compete with the fishnets.  

It had been a good day.

Now the shirt seemed like an appropriate homage to Dick on what felt like one of the worst days of her life. It had been a few hours since his funeral and she couldn’t bring herself to leave the manor. She could have gone home but didn’t want to have to give Frankie or Alysia half truths about how she was feeling or a full rundown of their relationship history, so she stayed put. She had wandered around the manor for a bit, consciously avoiding Dick’s old room on the third floor at all costs, and now found herself in the family room, curled up on the couch under what looked like a handmade quilt, queuing up Netflix.

“I was going to watch some Buffy, but I wasn’t expecting you two to stay after the service. We can find something else if you want.”

“No, it’s perfect.” Jason plopped himself down on the couch beside her. Tim nodded and sat down on the other side of him. “Love that show.”

“Really?”

“Of course. I love a good resurrected character.” He settled a bowl of popcorn between them and stretched his legs out onto the coffee table in front of him. “The lady died twice and was still a badass. I respect that.”

Tim laughed softly, “Definitely has you beat, Jay.” Jason punched him a little harder than necessary in the shoulder, but Tim continued on, giving Barbara a smile across the couch. “Good choice for tonight. Dick made me watch this show when I started as Robin. It helped me unwind after patrolling.”

“Me too.” said Jason, “I learned how to do kip-ups from watching Buffy when I couldn’t get it figured out on my own. Bruce was pissed that he had spent weeks trying to teach me such a basic move and I could suddenly do it on my own after watching one episode with Dick.”

They looked at Barbara, who was a little surprised by these revelations. She hadn’t realized that Dick had passed on their obsession. “I made him start watching it with me. Every week since season two. First time we watched it together was in this room before a patrol.”

“So it’s your fault that we know all the words to Once More With Feeling?” said Jason, with a laugh threatening to break through his voice.

“One hundred percent. I’m glad to know that I’ve been such an influential figure on the television viewing preferences of Robins.” Barbara waved at the TV with the remote. “Anyone have an episode request?”

No one said anything for a few moments until Tim quietly asked, “What was Dick’s favourite?”

Barbara smiled and scrolled through the episode list on the screen and selected The Zeppo, catching Jason rolling his eyes.  “What? He liked Xander’s random side adventures. Plus, Jimmy Olson references.” Tim giggled and Jason grumbled something about Replacement but Barbara couldn’t tell if he was talking about Tim or the Xander body double episode. “It was either this one or Becoming and I don’t think I can handle that one right now. He was a sucker for the heartbreaking episodes too.”

Too damn close to home.

She hit play and sank back into the couch. It wasn’t like she had never watched Buffy without Dick, but it definitely wasn’t the same without his running commentary beside her.  When the theme song started playing, she felt something that could only be described as her heart imploding, until she felt a hand rest on top of her own.  She looked over and saw Jason’s sad smile as he rubbed her hand, and then at Tim, who had shifted to rest his head on Jason’s shoulder, eyes staring at the screen. Barbara readjusted her position to lean against Jason as well, getting more comfortable, and shifted the blanket so it was covering all three of them. It was nice, watching together like that.

Dick would have loved it.

Barbara didn’t have to look towards the door to know that Bruce was leaning against the frame watching her. She had heard him in the hallway earlier in the evening, checking in on the three of them, but not interrupting. Jason and Tim had just left, having watched five episodes with her (including a mandatory sing along), but they were planning on patrolling together that night and were headed out to the city.  Television was a great distraction, but while he hadn’t said it in a straight forward way, Jason wanted to grieve through violence and Tim hadn’t disagreed.

Netflix was still rolling, but she was no longer paying any attention.

“You could have watched with us.”

“I prefer Angel.”

“You would.  Creature of the night with a preference for wearing black, sticking to the shadows and always walking dramatically through double doors.”

Bruce hummed in response and entered the dim room.  He looked towards the screen that had continued onto the next episode in silence, and then sat down next to her.  He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his legs, face in his hands.  She had known the man beside her close to half of her life, but this was the first time that she thought that he looked old.  Weary and moving a little slower than usual.  And definitely like he had been repeatedly punched in the face recently. She wasn’t surprised, especially today and especially after the year he had, but she didn’t like to see it.  This was Bruce Wayne. The Batman. He was what held the city together day and night and was supposed to be indestructible.  

Until he lost one of the few things that was still holding him together.

He turned to look at her and those intense eyes burned into hers. “You were his favourite person, you know.”

She hit mute on the TV and shook her head slightly, “I think Damian would have disagreed with you about that.” The words slipped out before she could stop them and she slapped her hand to her mouth.  She couldn’t believe how stupid she was to mention Damian on today of all days; on the day that he buried his second son in as many months. It was something that they had all been tip toeing around knowing that Bruce had not been dealing well with Damian’s death well at all.  She didn’t want to think about what was going to happen now that Dick’s funeral was over.

“Perhaps.” His voice sounded emotionless and Barbara couldn’t tell if that was because it was trying to detach himself to hold onto some semblance of strength or if he was just exhausted and didn’t have any feelings left right now. She knew he wasn’t the stone wall that people often accuse him of being; he just couldn’t always express it the way that other’s thought he should. He cared so much that it sometimes just came out ‘wrong’.

Sadness sometimes just looked like anger in the wrong clothes.

Barbara shifted so that her position mirrored his and leaned in a little closer, but still far enough apart that they weren’t touching. “I also think you are selling yourself short in the ranking of Dick’s people.”

“I was his guardian, not his friend.”

“If he were here Dick would be arguing that you were both.”

She knew she was right and she hoped that Bruce knew that too, even if he wouldn’t admit it.  She had been there to see the evolution of their relationship and she knew that it was a mixture of father and son, brothers, partners, friends and colleagues.  Sometimes it was the combination of those dynamics that caused friction (to the point of explosion), but they always would be there for each other when it really mattered. Even in the end, it was Bruce that Dick had wanted with him, not anyone else.

“Maybe, unless we were having one of our bad weeks.  But he loved you Barbara. Since the beginning. That love changed as you grew up but you were always what you needed to be for each other. Dick’s heart always led his actions, for better or for worse. It was always going to lead him back to you.” Bruce swallowed and rubbed his eyes.  He just looked like the stress of it all was burying him. “Magnetic pull.”

“We weren’t together.”

“Doesn’t change anything I said.”

“Maybe if I had gone with him to Chicago we wouldn’t been sitting here now. If I had just followed him there…” That had been running through her mind a lot for the past few days. Maybe if she had been there in Chicago, he wouldn’t have come back. Something might have stopped him from being captured by the Crime Syndicate and then this whole mess could have been avoided. She had heard enough about timelines from speedsters over the years to know that just one change could alter lives dramatically.

Thinking about fate was an overwhelming thing when you were already depressed.

“Neither of you were ready for that.”

“He told you?”

“Most things. Not sure he always realized how much he told me. Chatterbox.” He gave the smallest of shrugs, “He talked. I listened.”

“And grunted.” He grunted at her in response and they both smiled a little at each other. “I don’t really blame myself.  I just wish we made different choices sometimes. I wonder how we ended up here.”

“Don’t we all.”  Bruce was looking at a row of photos that were on the bookcase against the wall. All of the photos in this room were pictures of the family that Bruce had built rather than the one that he had been born into. Nearly all of them had Dick in them - by himself, or group shots with Bruce, Alfred, Jason, Tim or Damian, and she saw herself in a few as well.  The one that Barbara had always found herself drawn to was one from when Dick must have been about nine years old, getting a piggyback ride from Bruce.  It looked like a candid shot, probably taken by Alfred, and Bruce was grinning over his shoulder to look at Dick, who was clearly roaring with laughter.  There was something about it that was just so Dick.

Barbara placed her hand on Bruce’s forearm. “He loved you, too.”

“I know. Probably more than he should.”

“You were his dad.”

“I wasn’t. Not really.”

“You were in every way that mattered.  At least to him.” She brushed her fingers lightly against his arm and his eyes snapped back to hers and there was something there that she just couldn’t place. “He told me so many times that he was lucky that he had the chance to have two amazing fathers, when some kids don’t even get one. He was shattered when we thought you were dead. That he had lost another father.” He cast his eyes back to the floor, without Barbara having figured out what he was thinking about. “He’d do anything for you. You know that.”

“I’m gravely aware of that.”

It was one of those times that she had had over the years that she got the feeling that while she was talking to Bruce, they were having two drastically different conversations. Sometimes she called him on it, sometimes she looked into it later, but this felt like one of the few times that she was just going to let it rest. She didn’t need to know what Bruce was actually talking about if he wasn’t going to volunteer the information. Not today.

“Are you going out tonight?”

“No.” Batgirl and Barbara both needed a night off, which is why she hadn’t gone out with Tim and Jason. Her mind wasn’t in the game and she couldn’t afford to make a mistake in the field and get hurt. “Do you mind if I stay here?”

“Not if you don’t mind some company. I’m staying in too. It’s my pick now, though.” Barbara reached over to the end table and pulled out a bag of M&M’s and tossed them to Bruce. He grinned at her and grabbed the remote, hit a few buttons and the screen changed, and Barbara burst out laughing as words started scrolling on the screen.

Dick’s other viewing obsession was apparently up next for tonight.

“You may have got him hooked on Buffy, but I introduced him to Star Wars first. And he dressed up as Luke Skywalker for Halloween three years in a row. I win.”

“Dick was the best of us. We all got to win.”

[fanmovietastic]

BIFFF 2017 – Day 8

A little mistake in today's schedule, but I sorted it out. Aaron offered some of his free drinks for guests to dear husband and me. Aaron is just super cool:)

- Missing you (Korea) : a man is accused of several murders but is found guilty of only one. When he comes out of prison, the police is waiting for him to make a mistake to put him back. There's something they didn't take into account though... An effective thriller, with maybe a little bit too much of pathos for my taste. It offers various degrees/forms of psycopathy, and you realize that a psycopath can be a fully functional human being and go under the radar. 4 stars.

- Boy missing (Spain) : a boy has disappeared for a couple of hours. He tells the police that a man has kidnapped him. His mother, a lawyer, won't go to rest until her son is safe. But has the boy told the truth... Another thriller. Spain has done some really good ones in the past (like La isla minima) and this one is again pretty effective, though I thought the various twists looked like a cheap way to get the movie going longer. At least, they all kind of made sense in the end. 3 stars.

- Tarde para la ira (Spain) : a quiet man becomes friend (and lover) with people met at a bar. But he may have a reason for being there. A deadly reason... Again, a Spanish thriller. Again, quite effective. This one is directed by Raul Arevalo, who was in Ghost graduation (reviewed on this blog) and La isla minima. He did a good job, and the main actor is perfect ! A good movie against personal revenge, if you really think about it. 4 stars.

- Eat local (UK) : a group of vampires has a meeting in a remote farm. They brought a young guy who may join their community. But they also have uninvited guests : holy soldiers who want to destroy them... A wonderful horror comedy, that also brings some social problems with great intelligence. Jason Flemyng, who makes here his first attent at directing, has called some recognisable faces of UK cinema and TV : Charlie Cox, Tony Curran, Mackenzie Crook, Freema Agyeman, Eve Myles, Dexter Fletcher, Vincent Regan (if the names ring no bells, check them out, I know you've seen them somewhere). Billy Cook plays the young Sebastian and is incredible. 5 stars.

(Rod Smith, producer of Eat local (right))

- The chamber (UK) : two men and a woman on a mission for the government take over a small submarine in Korea's seas, looking for something at the bottom of the ocean. After some mistakes, they found themselves stuck there... Even at the BIFFF (where the audience can change a meh movie in a great experience), this one was boring. Keeping the tension for a whole movie with only four people in a small space isn't an easy thing to do, I understand that. But all the characters do is talking (and yelling), always about the same thing. It's redundant and not enjoyable. 1 stars for the effort.

(Ben Parker (second on the left), director of The chamber, with two of his producers, including one zombie)

Movie count : 39

Another big day today, and maybe I'll be able to meet with Stanley Tong. See you later !

EDIT: I had forgotten pictures... It really needs to end so I can sleep for 12 years...

[monroe-militia]

4, 12, 17, 19, 21, 25, 34?

4. Do you regret getting involved in any fandoms?

If we’re being real, then probably more than one. But I’ll just go with the big two here.

I would definitely say The Vampire Diaries fandom because while there were a lot of great and really nice people in there, there was also SO MUCH FUCKING NEGATIVITY AND HATE TOWARDS NOT ONLY CHARACTERS AND SHIPS BUT THE PEOPLE WHO DARED TO LIKE THEM. When everyone was shitting on Elena and Hayley and The Originals and Cami and the actors and everyfuckingthing else I got more than a little fed up. Also some of the fanfic community got pretty nasty and it was like people would come into fics written about ships they don’t like just to leave reviews being assholes about the characters and ships they don’t like and I’d be sitting there like well I wrote this story about these people because I like them and this fic is clearly labelled as prominently involving them, now please get off of my lawn. There was definitely a lot of positive reviews, but also a lot of negative ones that were by no means constructive criticism.

And same goes for The 100 fandom. While a lot of the people are great and nice and not the problem, there was also so much goddamn ship war stuff going on with people who ship Clarke with Lexa pitted against people who ship Clarke with Bellamy and they were just tearing each other apart over everything and seemed against the people who ship the other thing more than even the pairing and I was just sitting there in the middle liking both combinations and so fed up with both sides of the fandom. My dash on my 100 blog was basically just a mixture of both sides of the argument and people saying snarky things about the people who ship the opposite so I kind of gave up. The hating on specific characters and going after people who enjoyed those characters was to a lesser degree in this fandom than in the Vampire Diaries one, but I was definitely still seeing much more of it than I would have preferred.

Okay, fine, I’ll throw in a third thing here. But this one is less about regretting joining the fandom and more about being fed up with the whole Dean is confirmed canonically bisexual and nothing you can say is going to change that and he is as much representation as Clarke, the only actually confirmed bisexual main character on a CW show (unless something has changed recently, but certainly at the time that this was prominent on my dash this was the case). Some were even saying that Supernatural was so brave for making Dean canonically bi. The other thing that got on my nerves in the fandom was that some people who ship Dean and Cas would just shit on anyone who did not ship them or dared to say something other than it being canon. I know people who have left the fandom because of this exact thing.

Do I enjoy the idea of bi Dean? Sure. Have I written slash fic involving Dean? Yup. Is he canonically a bisexual character? No and the show making a running joke of making him almost have some kind of gay or bi dynamic with other dudes while always keeping it safely confined in the heterosexual package of it being just a joke and Dean being the lady’s man heterosexual and having to reestablish that to effectively destroy any lasting idea that he might ever really have any kind of sexual or romantic relationship with another man is not the show being brave. It’s trying to get credit for being bold and raising the possibility that Dean could be anything other than heterosexual, while making sure not to piss anyone off or lose any viewers by being sure to backtrack and reestablish him as a manly man only interested in women to make sure nobody can get upset. It’s classic queer baiting.

And as for the Dean and Cas part I used to ship them and I have written many fics of them, but I do significantly less now and in large part because the toxic attitudes of some Destiel shippers kind of spoiled it for me. And I know there are plenty of Destiel shippers who are nothing but kind to others and 100% are not the problem, but there are also a shocking amount of Destiel shippers who seem to have a complete lack of respect for other Supernatural fans with a different opinion. It is perfectly okay to watch the show with the belief that Dean and Cas are together, it’s perfectly fine to ship them and not agree with other people’s ships, it’s not okay to just attack people on a completely unrelated post about how they’re wrong. It disgusts me how some people just personally attack others for saying something about a ship that goes against theirs and it reflects poorly on the Destiel fandom as a whole and this kind of the thing is exactly how people who are being perfectly respectful to others end up getting harassed as part of ship wars. And I did not mean to go on for this long, or really at all, so I’m just going to stop now.

Anyways, hopefully I didn’t just dig my own grave and piss anyone off, but let’s move on now…

12. Who is your current OT3?

Definitely Jarlett (Charlie/Jason/Connor) for Revolution although I also at times get quite invested in planning out Miles/Bass/Emma stuff. 

17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favourite?

Your guess on this is as good as mine. Maybe Chase/Zoey from Zoey 101? Or maybe it was Holly/Vince from What I Like About You before that? Or Gordo/Lizzie from Lizzie McGuire? I don’t know, man. Something from when I was under age 10 or 11. Either way it is no longer my otp and some of my shame has been drudged up with this question.

19. Is there a ship which you wished you could get behind, but you just don’t feel them?

There is definitely at least one like that and I feel like I may have told you about them before, but I so cannot think of it now. But it’s something where the whole fandom is all oh they’re the cutest and the best and this couple is the whole fandom’s baby and I’m just sitting there totally indifferent to it. It’s not even that I dislike them, but I don’t get the chemistry and wish I could understand what everyone else is so excited about. I currently can’t remember the fandom, let alone the pairing though.

21. What was the first fanfic you ever wrote?

You know this one. It was that really shitty What I Like About You fic that I deleted years and years ago on account of having written it at eleven and it being just awful. And then the Criminal Minds stuff started after that and then a bunch of other fandoms after that. At least my other old writing on the old account I don’t feel the need to erase from existence, but I am definitely glad that first one is gone.

25. What’s your most popular fanfic?

Shit, man. How am I supposed to measure this? Like by view or favourite/kudos or review or what? Ah, I’ll just look back through at how things look at first glance and wing it from there.

Okay, there is a clear winner. But does it really count as most popular if I have hella reviews, but also a portion of them are just people complaining that there weren’t the pairings they wanted and saying “No offense” then literally accusing me of ruining even the thought of a character for them, and saying they didn’t like the chapter at all and then proceeding to complain about things that happened in the show unrelated to the fic they are even reading? Plus one glowing review that says “The story wasn’t that bad.”?

Okay, but honestly it also had a lot of really positive reviews that by far outnumbered the non-constructive negativity (although the bad reviews definitely remained stuck in my head) and it wasn’t one of the fics with the worst negativity, so I’m going to have to go with that Vampire Diaries fic where they were playing truth or dare. I probably never would have finished if people hadn’t responded so overall positively to it and even if I had, it certainly would not have been as long.

34. What’s the word count on your longest fic?

That would be a Damon/Elena human AU (with a lot of background pairings too) that was 123,329 words.

[tortuga-aak]

How the screenwriter of 'American Sniper' convinced Steven Spielberg he was ready to direct

Alberto Rodriguez/Getty

Jason Hall, director of the upcoming movie "Thank You for Your Service," first got into the business as an actor in the late 1990s.

After a stint in rehab and his own personal "welcome to Hollywood" moment, he turned to screenwriting.

Hall convinced Steven Spielberg to give him a chance at directing after earning an Oscar nomination for writing "American Sniper."

  The way things were playing out for Jason Hall at the start of his career, the combination of hard luck and personal demons could have led to him being just another rising star who faded out too quickly.

Coming out to Hollywood as an actor in the 1990s after studying film at USC, Hall had the tools to make it. He had chiseled looks and studied acting with some of the best teachers after going through a two-year Meisner acting course. That quickly landed him work on a few TV shows, including a recurring role as Devon MacLeish on “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”

He had also caught the eye of James Toback. The Oscar-nominated screenwriter behind “Bugsy” and director of movies like “Fingers” and “The Pick-up Artist” was trying to get “Harvard Man” off the ground, a movie about a Harvard basketball player who throws a game for the mob and then tries to fend off both them and the FBI while on a bad LSD trip.

The time James Toback was going to make him a movie star

A female friend of Hall’s had met Toback at an airport and the director wanted to audition her for the movie, Hall recalled. He said his friend thought Toback was “a little bit strange” but she took the script and, after realizing she wasn’t right for the movie, passed on it, instead telling Toback to consider Hall for the male lead. (Toback has recently been accused by over 30 women of sexual harassment.)

“I had been to prep school and I had done some of the experimentation that the character in the movie had and he was like, ‘You're the guy! I've sat down with everybody in Hollywood and you’re the guy,’” Hall told Business Insider over the phone earlier this month (before the Toback sexual harassment story broke). 

But nothing in Hollywood goes according to plan, and “Harvard Man” was Hall’s first lesson in that.

As Toback tried to get financing, Hall said the two would often work together on scenes from the script but also do a lot of things that had nothing to do with the movie. One time, Hall picked up Toback from a Los Angeles airport and drove him to a Beverly Hills bank, where Toback withdrew cash so he could then race off to Las Vegas to gamble.

“It was a strange relationship,” Hall said, looking back.

But what came out of it was the first important decision of Hall’s career: He went to rehab for substance abuse and got himself clean. When he got out, Toback was ready to make “Harvard Man,” but not with Hall.

“I came back and he said, ‘You changed!’” Hall recalled. “And I’m like, ‘I stopped doing all that nonsense so I can do the work,’ and he said, ‘Yeah, but now you’re not the guy. I don’t see it anymore.’” (Business Insider contacted Toback for comment but did not get a response.) “Entourage” star Adrian Grenier eventually landed the lead role in the movie, which was released in 2001.

That led to the second most important decision of Hall’s career: writing his first screenplay.

From struggling actor to Oscar-nominated screenwriter

“I was like, am I going to be James Toback’s guy on acid or am I going to live a clean life and try to pursue a career in the arts and not die by the time I’m 35,” Hall said. “So I started writing scripts for myself.”

He thought the plan was foolproof. Feeling he could come up with better material than the scripts he was auditioning for, he decided to write himself into his own scripts and make the deals for them contingent on him acting in them (a la what Sylvester Stallone did with “Rocky” or Matt Damon and Ben Affleck with “Good Will Hunting”).

But it didn’t go according to plan. Hall found interest for the scripts but no one wanted him to act in them. He finally relinquished his dreams of being a movie star and decided to move forward as a screenwriter. The first script he sold was the 2009 movie “Spread,” starring Ashton Kutcher. He also got a writing credit on the 2013 Liam Hemsworth thriller, “Paranoia.”

Then he hit pay dirt around 2011 when he got his hands on the yet unpublished memoir of the deadliest marksman in US military history, Chris Kyle. Hall spent time with Kyle and his friends, earned their trust, wrote the screenplay, and got Bradley Cooper involved, but nothing happened until two months after Kyle’s murder at the hands of a former Marine suffering from PTSD in February 2013. Steven Spielberg read the script for “American Sniper” and bought it for his company, DreamWorks, with an eye to direct it.

Keith Bernstein/Warner Bros.Clint Eastwood would end up directing, and with Cooper starring as Kyle, “American Sniper” went go on to become one of the surprise hits of 2014, earning over $350 million domestically of its $547.4 million worldwide total (the movie was made for $58.8 million) and getting six Oscar nominations, including one for Hall. The film would end up winning an Oscar for best sound editing.

But that wasn’t the last gift Spielberg gave Hall. While writing drafts of the “American Sniper” script for Spielberg, the legendary director said he had something else he thought Hall would be good to work on.

“I think we were working for two months on ‘American Sniper’ and he came in and dropped a book on the table,” Hall said. “He said he wanted to do more for the veterans.”

Convincing Spielberg he can direct — and almost getting kicked off a plane in the process

The book was “Thank You for Your Service,” written by journalist David Finkel, and it examined the recent string of soldiers coming home and struggling to adjust to civilian life.

“Spielberg and I both loved that aspect of the story, what the coming home was like,” Hall said. “And Spielberg posed the question after reading the book, ‘You don't think this and ‘American Sniper’ are too similar?’ I said there are similar aspects but only in as much as one is the story of Achilles and other is the story of Odysseus. ‘Thank You for Your Service’ can be the homecoming.”

Like “American Sniper,” Hall could tell that, with Spielberg’s work load, he probably wouldn’t get around to directing “Thank You for Your Service,” so while writing the script he threw his hat in the ring.

Following a pitch call — which Hall said occurred while he was in the middle of boarding an airplane and the flight attendants were close to kicking him off because he wouldn’t hang up the phone — Hall scored a formal meeting with Spielberg to interview for the directing job. His persistence paid off, and he got the gig in June of 2015.

“Thank You for Your Service” follows a group of soldiers (among them Miles Teller) returning from Iraq who struggle to integrate back into civilian life with their families. Dealing with both physical and mental wounds, the men's search for normalcy often brings them back to each other to find strength to continue on.

“I felt like this was a way to bring all these guys all the way home,” Hall said of the cloak of PTSD that hangs over the movie. It's a struggle he said he’d seen with countless veterans, including Kyle, whom he felt had turned a corner when they spoke over the phone for what turned out to be the final time two days before his murder.

“I felt the guy was making it home,” Hall said of Kyle. “I heard him laugh and be at ease in a way that I hadn’t before.”

DreamWorks“There’s a whole other battle to fight once a solider comes to the decision to seek help,” Hall continued. “I definitely relate to that, realizing I needed help and being in a place of struggling but knowing I needed help.”

But Hall says he knows his struggle with substance abuse pales in comparison to what most veterans deal with, simply because of the overworked and chaotic US Department of Veterans Affairs they have to deal with to get help. The frustrations veterans have with the VA is something that Hall prominently puts in his movie after numerous visits he took to the VA in Los Angeles before shooting.

“It’s a circus down there,” he said. “They are out there all day to get help and the place sometimes just cut it off and say, ‘We’re done, come back tomorrow.’ It’s hard enough for these guys to admit some kind of vulnerability, so when they are able to take that courageous step to ask for help the help should be there for them.”

Hall has found his niche in Hollywood by telling stories about American heroes coping with life beyond the battlefield. And if it’s up to him, his most epic look at the topic will come next.

He’s got a script in the drawer titled “The Virginian” he’s trying to get into production about a conflicted young George Washington who tries to conquer a French fort. Getting the project off the ground won’t come easy, but if it’s one thing Hall knows, it never is.

“Thank You for Your Service” opens in theaters on Friday.

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