#i need him so bad you guys don't understand

[pityroadart]

Here's my piece for the @mcspirkevents Big Bang! I was paired with the excellent @twinkboimler and their fic Jim Kirk's Guide to Delivering the Goods, which you can find here (E, AOS McSpirk, 60k)

Summer just started, and Jim is bored out of his mind. The courses he needs to take aren’t being offered until the second half of the summer, so he has an entire month to bother his roommate Bones. At Bones’ suggestion to get a job, Jim fixes up a motorbike and starts making deliveries to people in town, including a cute Vulcan professor named Spock. But when Jim is beaten up while making a delivery, it’s Spock who delivers Jim back to the apartment he shares with Bones. After the meet-cute from hell, Spock and Bones start dating… and so do Jim and Spock. With neither roommate aware they’re both dating the same man, there’s only so long that things can go well for them before the other shoe finally drops.

Also as part of my Big Bang offerings, I made a fic playlist (below) — partly a love letter to McSpirk, partly a love letter to myself and Fletcher's overlapping music taste.

Thank you again to Fletcher @twinkboimler for working on this project with me, it's been an absolute joy!

Until the Birds Return on Spotify

Tracks and choice lyrics below the cut (contains vague spoilers):

Astronaut | Future Crib

I wanna be an astronaut Fly into space I wanna see Mars from Venus I wanna go to that place And if you come with me They'll be room in my ship I'll take you up there with me It can be just you and me

Afraid of Heights | boygenius

I never rode a motorcycle I never smoked a cigarette I wanna live a vibrant life But I wanna die a boring death

Day by Day | Old Sea Brigade

Time and time again, I think I'm falling through space And I wake up in my bed just sweating in sheets

... Then I think of you growing old and it breaks my heart

Factories | Autoheart

When you found my body by the lake You wasn't sure if I was still alive

You and Your Friend | Snake River Conspiracy

Must we go run through our lives with our eyes closed To the loving happiness that we can share I think I'm in love with you and your friend

My Gal, My Guy | Darlingside

My (guy) he's the bluest ocean, (he) Waits under the bluest sky for me I belong to (him) When I'm in the water

Santa Fe | Autoheart

Heaven sent You were like a present I should not have kept A sticker on your forehead saying 'breakable And I broke you bad

Coat on a Hook | The National

Two days, we're still not talking You're the opposite of an open book Come back for me

Top to Toe | Fenne Lily

So I'm changing all my days To make your nights It's just not right

Pigeon Song | Patrick Wolf

Now the pigeons gather 'round my feeding hand And we talk 'til the evening fades I have learnt how it goes What you wait for never shows And what you least wanted, holds you down like a stone

Hornets | The National

But I don't wanna leave And I don't wanna hide I just don't wanna run Into you tonight

Tea, Milk & Honey | Oh Pep!

If you stick with me, I'll make sure your time is all right If you don't understand where I am now, it's better if we leave it

The Spiritual | Jukebox the Ghost

We might have kissed a bit too soon I could feel what was coming and I didn't mean to hurry you I just knew that time would find our fingers linked, through and through Forgive me, I'm human too

Bike Dream | Rostam

Two boys, one to kiss your neck And one to bring you breakfast Get you out of bed

Don't Go | Yazoo

Can't stop now Don't you know I ain't never gonna let you go

Jenny | The Mountain Goats

I hopped on back of the bike, wrapped my arms around you I sank my face into your hair And then I inhaled as deeply as I possibly could You were sweet and delicious as the warm desert air And you pointed your headlamp toward the horizon We were the one thing in the galaxy God didn't have his eyes on 900 cc's of raw whining power, no outstanding warrants for my arrest

Old Old Fashioned | Josh Ritter (Frightened Rabbit cover)

Oh let's get old fashioned Back to how things used to be If I get old, old fashioned Would you get old, old fashioned with me?

[eerna]

everything your saying so true king shit keep talking. I felt what was so interesting about season one was how all the magic tied in to the bigger message like the magic tied into the class inequality and part of why victor was so interesting to me was because he was from the undercity but was feeding into the inequality. And I felt like they could have had something really interesting in season two where he realized that and went back to the undercity to help but no they had to do the glorious evolution thing which was just eek to me. Also the whole caitvi thing was a total nightmare ultimately the only plot line I really liked was Mel’s god the horror of realizing that your turning into your mother also ekko had some interesting stuff, but you’re so right that they toned him down because if they didn’t everything would fall apart around them. Anyway I love your thoughts and art and analysis and love to see you continue doing it. ❤️🧡💛💚💙🩵💜

Thank you so so so much for your kind words, it brings me joy to hear so 😘

Yes!! If you'll allow me to expand on your point about magic, bc I don't think I've talked about it yet. In s1 magic was a stand in for pretty much any technological discovery. It was supposed to make life easier, enabling easier production and preventing difficult working conditions... But instead, as technology always is used, it only served the upper class, while the workers stayed in the dust. Because no technological discovery can fix a broken system, the system needs to be changed and only then can the people be helped. That was the tragic truth Viktor didn't understand until the end of s1. His focus was on technology instead of the system, it did the Undercity absolutely no good and instead only widened the gap between classes.

S2 has none of that. In s2 magic is only magic. It is the freaky stuff that creates zombies and makes force fields. It makes absolutely no statements on society, on the people who use it, or anything. It looks cool and does cool stuff and has to be stopped because it's evil and wants to destroy Piltover. And its weapon is Viktor. Viktor. Is the final boss of Arcane. The guy who is chronically ill because of Piltoved's greed, who gave his entire life to the city and got nothing in return, is the biggest threat. It leaves such a bad taste in my mouth bro

[fiddler-on-the-starship]

Spoilers for Transformers One.

On the one hand, I do think Orion was right when he said "rebuilding Iacon cannot begin with an execution" (they'd just thoroughly trounced Sentinel in every way, he wasn't a threat anymore, there wasn't an immediate need to kill him beyond the desire for revenge).

On the other hand, on a purely visceral level I do not have a problem with Sentinel getting ripped in half because fuck that guy lmao. Get your revenge, Dee, you deserve it.

But on the other other hand, I do believe that Orion's actions were motivated not by any desire to save Sentinel, but by concern for Dee. (I think these posts make a good point about that; it doesn't seem that Orion was even deliberately trying to sacrifice himself when he got shot, I think he just wanted to get between Dee and Sentinel so he could talk to Dee.)

But on the other other other hand, Orion really did not choose his words well in that scene. "Don't be like Sentinel" was the WORST thing he could've possibly said, all things considered. A while ago I saw a post that described it as "telling a victim they're just as bad as their abuser" and yeah, I agree with that assessment. That probably wasn't how Orion intended that to come off, but there's no way it wouldn't have sounded like that to Dee. Maybe it wouldn't have been possible to talk Dee down from killing Sentinel in that moment, but if it had been at all possible, that was definitely not the way to do it.

However, while this leads to a horrible outcome for the characters, I'm not sure it's such a bad thing for the narrative. It's painfully realistic, actually. Sometimes, people who have nothing but good intentions will say stupid, hurtful things. Sometimes, when someone is in a state where all they can feel is pain and rage, they will lash out without thinking of the consequences, and in doing so they might hurt someone they love. Obviously in the real world this does not usually involve a giant robot shooting another giant robot with a laser cannon, but that's one of the great things about sci-fi and fantasy; a laser cannon can be a metaphor for the horrors we face in real life.

Also, based on Orion's behaviour up until that point in the movie, it's pretty in-character for him to say the worst possible thing at the worst possible time to someone who is clearly suffering. You can tell he has a lot of compassion and generally means well, but that doesn't stop him from being an insensitive dick at times. And I like that. I like it when characters have Layers. (Orion and Dee both have a lot of Layers, and I am fascinated by the way some of the same personality traits manifest very differently in each of them, but that's not what this post is about, perhaps I'll ramble about that another time.)

Basically what I'm saying is:

I think Orion was both right and wrong (right about it not being necessary to kill Sentinel, and right that a public execution was a bad fucking idea; very, very wrong in the way he expressed that to Dee),

I'm not going to say Dee did nothing wrong, but I completely understand where he is coming from (and I'd be lying if I said that when he killed Sentinel there wasn't a part of my brain screaming YEAAAAH, YOU GO GIRL, RIP THAT FUCKER APART),

I think that Optimus Prime should have flaws and fuck up sometimes, because that makes him more interesting as a character, and in the case of TF1, because having him inadvertently contribute to Dee's downward spiral adds to the tragedy of it all (and I do think this movie can rightly be called a tragedy of Shakespearean proportions),

and, above all,

FUCK Sentinel Prime. Seriously, fuck that guy SO much.

[ssentimentals]

Hii I love your writing and saw your prompts, can I request a Vernon angst to fluff with promts "I woke up, and you were gone." "You're not a bad guy." and "You have a beautiful soul." "Whats on your mind? I want to listen." If it's too much just use some of this that feels okay with the story, thank you so muuuch. Love ya

hii! love you too and yep, i'm going to use only few of those if you don't mind :) thank you for requesting! 💜 hopefully you will like it!

hurt prompt: 'i woke up, and you were gone.' - 'you're not a bad guy.'

it feels weird to be in this position right now. with your avoidant attachment style, you are the one who runs away at the first signs of things geting serious in relationship; so right now to witness this in another person is... unusually weird. a bit hilarious too, if you are very honest. but mainly it's sad though. staring up at vernon right now, you want to find all of the correct words that can make him feel better because you know. you know what's going through his mind right now, you know how he's feeling - that's why instead of attacking, you sit quietly, giving him room to breathe.

'i woke up and you were gone,' you start gently, calmly. this is the least that vernon deserves - he's the sweetest boy, who made you want to work on yourself and your fears. you can tell that you make him feel the same and that scares him. 'any kind of note would've made me feel much better, because otherwise it looks like we- i mean, i think you know how it looks like.'

vernon grimaces, nodding. he hangs his head low and exhales loudly. 'i never wanted to make you think or feel that. i'm sorry.'

'i know,' you soothe him and gentleness in your voice makes him look up. 'you're not a bad guy, vernon. you came back, right?' he nods. 'why? why did you come back here, to me?'

vernon looks you in the eyes as he whispers in a broken voice: 'because i want you. because i didn't want- i got scared at first. not of you, but of what i feel for you. does that makes sense?'

you want to cry. but you hold on, nodding instead. 'it makes perfect sense.'

'really?' his whole face lights up. 'you... understand?' at your nod, he shakily inhales. 'then you know. i came back because i want you and i want us. i'm sorry that i haven't left a note, i'm sorry for making you feel, even for a second, that i left.'

you don't trust your voice not to break, so you open your arms, welcoming him in. vernon looks hesitant at first, but then he slowly moves towards you and when you two hug, he melts into you with a desperate longing that you know all too well.

'i want us too,' you whisper, because it's true and because he needs this confirmation. 'just no running away anymore, vernon. and i promise we can work this out.'

he nods and you know what he's thinking right now, knows what he's feeling right now. that's why you hug him even tighter, because you're not about to run away. not anymore, not with him.

a/n: request your own here! <3 - nini

[sombredancer]

Li Lun, a villain I feel for (Pt. 2/4)

So, by the beginning of the drama LL says that he wants to kill all of ZYZ’s new friends. In fact, he just likes talking. He says: “Let’s kill ZYZ’s friends starting with Baize Goddess, like the previous time” so the viewer thinks he killed previous goddess off, but later we learn that he didn't do it. Even if he has a perfect opportunity to kill someone of ZYZ’s new friends without ruining his own schemings, he does pretty nothing to achieve it. He just stands and talks. Because he doesn’t really want to kill anyone, including ZYZ. He wants to attract ZYZ’s attention and to make ZYZ stop ghosting him.

Li Lun speaks to Big Bad in Mask while possessing a courtesan. Meanwhile, he lends Truth Eye to Ao Ying so she could see his true self.

LL joins hands with Big Bad in Mask, not knowing he was the one who tortured demons in that bloody dungeon (yeah, LL is not the smartest guy of the Universe). By doing it he tries to achieve his own goals. First, he wants to break free from his custody, and second, he wants to get attention from ZYZ, who ignores him.

In order to break his chains LL works as matchmaker for ZYZ and his girlfriend, so they could fall in love with each other and find and unite pieces of Baize token, because only if the token is intact, it can be broken and its spells can be dissipated. He is not a saint, so he kills some folks (by possessing them or just because) and tricks other demons into helping him, although he is said to value his own kind more than anything. It means he goes through break-up with ZYZ so badly, that even his principles fade into the background for his anger and pain. Or it’s just another script flaw.

Li Lun behaves himself very much as a ghosted ex-boyfriend (in fact, he is), and I understand him well. He goes through stages of acceptance: throws himself from denial (ZYZ is no better than me, why don't you treat him the way he treated me?) through anger (ZYZ, I’ll kill your friends and make you suffer!) to bargaining (Why does he find you better than me? What if you would be like me, would he still love you?).

To talk about his feelings with someone, he uses the only way to leave his dark lifeless place of imprisonment, which is possessing others. At first, this ability and an omnipotence of it looks intimidating, but later we learn that he cuts his lifespan by a half each time he does it, so his need to talk to someone is very desperate. (Later, LL says that it was his way to enjoy the world and freedom but GJM never showed us such a use of this LL's ability). ZYZ knows that destroying LL’s leaves (through which he possesses bodies) will hurt Li Lun, yet he does it anyway, and LL kinda... enjoys it bitterly. As if the fact of him being not ignored by ZYZ is more important that his wellbeing. It's miserable and pathetic, but understandable.

And anytime LL tries to get some answers for his questions, ZYZ and his friends say something like “You don’t understand a thing, I won’t bother to explain, though.” or “We have friends and ZYZ is our boyfriend, and you are a lonely loser!”. How it supposes to help LL understand his wrongs? I have no idea.

Ghosting your ex is the sure way to make him a villain.

LL breaks free from his jail and destroys a “support beam�� of the “wall” around demon ghetto. An accent on “I’m destroying the wall” is strange, because I can’t understand the gain demons will have when they aren't in their ghetto anymore (and it obviously should be). Would Great Demons even the scores of victims if not only humans would catch and torture demons but demons would also catch and torture humans, or what? However, it sounds pretty fair, as long as said Baize Goddess’ and ZYZ’s protection of demons consist in only preventing them from going outside their ghetto without passport, LOL.

Although LL is free from the seal, he is still dying from the fatal wound causing by ZYZ 8 years ago. His true body is smoldering slowly, so he has got not so much time left.

For plot purposes, the main heroes need to visit LL’s birthplace to get the last cup of magic water to fix Baize token and to restore a “support beam” of ghetto’s wall. What would a normal villain do, knowing about it? Yes, he would spill it. What does LL do? He, in fact, hands it over to the main heroes. Yes, stained, but LL was a student of Mountain God, too, so he could know that there is a way to restore the pureness of magic water, and the best way to destroy the token for good is to spill this water.

During their visit LL kidnaps ZYZ’s girlfriend (it is funny that the main heroes don’t notice it for something like first five minutes 😅) and has a phycologist session with her (in which she is a psychologist). They have a superstrange conversation, something like: LL: “ZYZ supposed to be my friend but ghosted me for no obvious for me reason and I’m hurt!”. WX: “Oh, it’s because you are a loser with no friends, ZYZ did everything right!”.

Then ZYZ and his current boyfriend come and LL tries once more to tell ZYZ that he is hurt, but ZYZ has absolutely no desire to talk to him or to explain to him something and acts like they were never boyfriends and LL is his archenemy.

So, they fight and ZYZ hurts LL with Everburning Wood once more, now deliberately. LL dies, and although ZYZ has red eyes at this moment he never thinks of LL again. So, LL is right: ZYZ is a hypocrite with double standards. It is such a contrast with the stories of the main heroes and ancient dragon gods, in which killing your friend for Higher Goals is a tragedy.

But there is a plot twist ahead!

Here is Part 1 Here is Part 3 Here is Part 4

[neptunescore]

Still seeing so much shit everywhere abt both charles and carlos, like it's reaching a peak.

I just don't understand why both fanbases are destroying the other, when the only one to blame is the TEAM. ITS FERRARI. THEY ARE THE PROBLEM!!!

I'm not even gonna talk abt the pitting calls, bc that was just one major fuck up after another. However, I will talk abt the absolute shite communication that ferrari had with both drivers that led to whatever war between fans is happening right now.

On one hand, we have ferrari telling Charles that carlos wouldn't overtake him, and on the other, we have ferrari telling carlos not to pressure Charles. Most of you might think it's the exact same thing, but it really isn't guys. In no way did Carlos pressure Charles. Carlos' tyres were 2 laps old. They were heated up. Charles was PARALLEL to Carlos upon pit exit (NOT ahead). Charles had new, cold, dead tyres, all carlos literally had to do was drive arnd him, there was no pressuring.

A lot of ppl are also talking about how the results for ferrari would've been much better if Carlos had let Charles past... yeah no. They wouldn't have. Mercedes was absolutely on fire this week. There was genuinely no way Ferrari could've gotten any better result than a P3 and P4, and telling one driver to give up a podium position just to try and cement your other drivers standing as SECOND place in the drivers standings?? Um... yh that's just in bad taste.

Also, ppl are arguing over the stat they showed that if the team would've just listened to Carlos' requests about pitting earlier, he would've ended ahead of Lewis. Personally, I don't think that would've happened, BUT I do believe there would've been a much larger chance of Carlos and Charles being closer to the Merc if Ferrari had just LISTENED to their drivers.

And abt this radio msg:

I honestly don't think Charles was even talking abt Carlos here, this is just him talking abt the team. I feel Charles has ALWAYS blindly trusted the team, done whatever they told him to do. Then we have Carlos, he argues back. Tells the team what he thinks would be better. Ignores orders sometimes to do what he thinks would be better, and it ALWAYS is better. This is Charles being over it, and I'm glad. I'm glad he's over it. Ferrari need to get their heads out of their asses and listen to their drivers because it is reaching a point.

Sidenote:

This radio msg mad me laugh so hard (literally as a carlos fan), idk why y'all are talking abt how it's XENOPHOBIC??? LMFAOOO that's a MAD reach. Carlos is literally a slightly tanned European man BWAHAHAHAH, as a POC I feel slightly mad abt all of u losing ur ahit over this yet when it comes to injustices done to ACTUAL POC drivers, everyone stays silent?? Yh shut up.

I feel u guys forget that this is a competitive sport where drivers are filled to the brim with adrenaline, ofc Charles is gonna make some comments when things don't go the way he thinks they will.

Anywayyy, that's my rant done. Just had to get all this shit out. Even if none of this is true or what acc happend I still stand with my drivers rights and wrongs, so Carlos my pookie dw I love you ur so real.

[loulougoingsolo]

"Just yourself be, if weird is you."

I don't often get annoyed by Rhett or Link, and it is probably a strong word to use even now, but...today's Ear biscuits episode kinda made me growl at Rhett a little.

I'm not going to talk about the entire episode, but the guys were answering listener questions, and the last one was about midlife crises, if they have them and how.

Now, as someone who is less than a year younger than Link, I've probably tackled a crisis of my own in the recent times. (You could say my entire adult life has been a crisis, but I won't.) But I loved Link's explanation of his midlife crisis, which was basically finding the limits of how weird he can be without making Christy scratch her head too much. Like, Link basically said he is still exploring what he is and what he wants to be (and I'm not implying he was talking about his sexual identity - I think he meant he is exploring his identity in a broader context of being human). Rhett took this as an opportunity to remind Link that when someone chooses to be "weird", they need to understand that it might impact their relationships. And at that point, I growled.

I'm a weirdo. I spent way too many years of my life trying not to be weird. The funny (not really) thing was, trying to act normal only made me sick, made me behave in a very unnatural, stiff way around other people, and I was miserable. I dare to say, nowadays, after, thanks to a lot of soul-searching, therapy and embracing my true self, I come across much more likable than before. I'm not tense, I don't need to put on a mask, and I am more comfortable with myself, which just makes me more fun to be with. Syre, there are people who think I'm too weird, don't act my age, or make strange stylistic choices. The people I love accept me as I am, and I may have infected them with dashes of self-acceptance, too. So, grrr at you, Rhett.

Seriously though, I love that Link is less tense these days. I know some people are annoyed by him, but I love how he has blossomed from an antsy guy who stuck to wearing t-shirts and jeans to an actual fashion icon. He's less afraid of showing his emotions these days (good and bad), and he's just overall more at ease. I'd hate for his loved ones to try to tame him too much, and I hated the way Rhett managed to make his advice sound like a threat that if Link gets too weird, he'll lose some of his relationships.

Maybe I heard more than was said. Maybe this rubbed me the wrong way, because I see myself in Link more than I do in Rhett, and I recognize the things Link said in myself. I hope to hear other people's thoughts on this episode, and this answer about midlife crisis in particular.

Also, for anyone planning to go hiking with a cat: I love the idea, and if I see you with your cats on the trails I take, I want to be your friend. I have been known to lightly stalk a lady who was in the library with her cat on her shoulders, just so I could coo at the furbaby.

[emotionalsupportgoblin420]

Whatcha Gonna do with a Sick Oni

Sick Itto x Reader One-shot.

The one and oni Itto is sick, and as his s/o, you've made it your job to nurse him back to health. Little did you know how clingy he gets when he's sick.

"I told you not to go out looking for onikabuto in the rain." You said in a stern voice. A certain oni thought it was a bright idea to go out in the rain to find the strongest onikabuto. He didn't find a single one. All he got to show for his efforts was a cold and fever that left him bedridden. "You don't have to keep harping on it!" Itto whined. "I was sure I was gonna find the one to break losing stre... stre... strACHOOOO!" His sneeze practically made the whole house shake. "Well, you didn't." You said, giving him a tissue. "And now look what you gotta show for it."

You checked the towel on his forehead to see if it was still cool. It wasn't. He kept whining about the whole situation as you removed the towel and dipped in the bucket of water only to find to water wasn't as cool as it needed to be anymore. "Hold that thought, Itto." You cut off Itto mid whinny ramble. "I gotta replenish the ice water."

Just as you tried to get up, you felt a pair of strong arms grab your waist and pull you in, making you land on the side of the bed. Itto buried his face into you and started making whinny puppy sounds. He was trying to act cute, so you wouldn't leave. "Itto." You said with a stifled laugh. "You need ice water so your fever will go down." "No." He muffled in a pouting tone. He knew full well how hard it was to resist him when he got like this. "Itto." You couldn't help but laugh at his shenanigans. "Come on now." "I'm not letting you go anytime soon." His tone less pouty and more playful this time. You playfully rolled your eyes and, in a swift motion, slipped out of his arms, grabbed the bucket, and got out of his reach. "Really, Itto, I need to do this." You said. "It'll only be a minute." You added after seeing his puppy eyes.

It really wasn't that long. You put some ice in the bucket, topped it off, and headed right back. Only to find Itto with his back facing you now. You just rolled your eyes and sat down beside his bed. "Itto, let me put the towel on your forehead." No response. You could tell by his sniffling and occasionally coughing that he was still awake. "Itto, stop being dramatic." Itto just hmphed in response.

"Alright, you give me no choice." You grabbed the towel and started climbing over him. "Whoa, whoa! What the-!" Itto was definitely not expecting this. Once you were on the other side of him, crushed between him and the wall, you put the towel on his forehead and climbed back around, sitting beside his bed. "Damn it!" Itto said, but not entirely in a negative tone. "Yeah. Weren't expecting that were ya big guy?" You said with a smile of triumph as he rolled over to face you. "No fair." He laughed, which turned into a coughing fit.

"Easy there, big guy." You said, rubbing his arm and giving him a peck on the cheek. "Ow..." Itto said once he stopped coughing. "Why does everyone have to hurt?" "Well, you did this-" "To myself, I know..." Itto cut you off. He looked glum after that. Not pouty. Just glum. You felt bad. You weren't sure what to do, so you just gently caressed his cheek with a sympathetic look. That brought a smile to his face as he closed his eyes, enjoying your touch.

You two just sat there like that for a while. It was nice and peaceful. "Um... y/n?" Itto broke the silence. "Hm?" You responded. "Would you... cuddle with me? I can understand if you don't want to because you might get sick. I just figured I'd a-" Before he could finish his sentence, you already shimmying your way in-between his arms. For all the nagging you did to Itto for getting himself sick, you weren't much better yourself lol.

(Inspired by prompt 1 on this list)

[hvrtbroken]

he's glad she stops herself this time , but he hears the whisper of the apology on her lips , ready and fully formed . he waits patiently for her as she tries to form her thoughts . this is something he recognises . he knows this well himself. THEY BOTH KNOW THAT . it takes his minutes to say full sentences , after a lot of stopping and starting and mental umming and aahing . she's always patient with him . it's the least he can do to give it right back to her . " you wanted me . . . so i could have sex with you ? " he asks , slightly confused by how the two correlate . TOUCHING EACH OTHER he understands . everyday is hard . tonight was even harder . he rakes his brain , wondering if maybe by letting down some of his walls ( holding her hand , walking outside , touching her hips ) , he complicated things . maybe he shouldn't have blurred the damn lines . they said to keep work as work . he should have kept his word .

nico opens his mouth . closes it again . her requests are simple enough . he indicates again , but this time instead of turning the corner - he pulls the car over . nico inhales deeply , letting the noise wrinkle the air between them before he turns to face her . his eyebrows dig down , careful and unsure as he drinks her in . she looks even smaller than usual . more unsure . YOUNG . it makes his stomach flip slightly . just when he thinks they get on even footing , on even ground , something disrupts them again . but this is what being in a relationship is . you do the work . you put in the time . YOU TALK TO EACH OTHER . " i will always want you . " he tells her , voice low but genuine . " i'll want you if i see you in an hour . i'll want you if i have to wait a year to see you . " which hopefully will never be the case . nico understands that she wants his assurance , and he wants to give it to her . he needs to find the right words . the exact puzzle pieces to slot in .

a quiet , almost laugh breathes its way out of his mouth . " i don't want anything . " he says , and he means it . " this . . tonight . . it isn't about me , star . " she's always asking him about him , and he's always putting it back on her because he needs her to be her own person . he needs her to figure out what SHE wants and likes and doesn't like , too . every other woman he's been with has been so steadfast and overly confident . it's sending him through a whirl to try and get used to this , and how it's completely the opposite . he's never done this before . but star makes him always want to try . " i'm always going to be here . not just 'cause it's my job . okay ? because i want to be . " he tells her honestly . " but . . i can't be the guy you talk about you ex with , when there's stuff unresolved , which makes you upset . i can't be the guy you sleep with to make a bad memory a good one . " he exhales , puts one hand to his face , rubbing at his tired eyes . " i can't be the guy who tells you what to do . " because he ISN'T that guy . will NEVER be that guy . except , obviously , in bed . and even then , he's trying his best to get HER to be more vocal . " things are okay . " nico tells her softly . " but you gotta make sure you're okay . "

she doesn't know what to do except apologize. feels like it's her fault, that they're here in the first place. shouldn't have acted so impulsively, should have taken a step back to consider like she's used to. not act on her emotions. but that's what she'd become with nico. she gave into them, felt them, fully. maybe for the first time in a long time. "s-" she catches the apology just as the word formed on her lips, doesn't want him to keep repeating himself. star feels her phone vibrate with notifications and wishes she could throw it away, stop it from interrupting her train of thought.

her eyes flit between him and the front window, between him and the way back home. between him and his tapping fingers. she just hopes he doesn't hate or resent her for how she reacted. his words do make her feel better instantly, the reassurance lifting a little weight off her chest. "i know, i should've . . . not. i just . . ." doesn't know what to say, feels like a teenager again, confused and quiet and unable to express herself. it's a feeling that accompanies all the regrets she's had so far. so — in an attempt to avoid it — she reaches for the only thing that makes sense. "i just wanted you. you make me feel good. so i reached out for that." lets out a shaky sigh, swallows the scratch in her throat. keeps going, because that's all she can offer. wants for him to understand her, even if her emotions overwhelm her. "i'd wanted to touch you all night so that combined with the bad emotions. i just . . . couldn't stop myself. "

his question makes her pause. she thinks, lets the silence still before opening her mouth. "show me that . . . things are okay, maybe. tell me that you still want me." because all i ever want is you. keeps the last sentence to herself, doesn't want to be too much. byeol's gaze fixes back on him, on how the streetlights flood over him every few seconds. the way the sight of him makes her heart jump. he's always thinking of her, wants to reciprocate that somehow. wants this to work, and so will do anything to keep her side of their relationship functioning too. can't imagine being without him right now, doesn't know if she could handle that. "what do you want me to do?"

[pralinesims]

*hissing sounds*

Some of my fav outtakes of this photoshoot 🥀

[menstitsillness]

im going to eat him

[hyakunana]

I hate the sewers . jpg

[makiswirl]

can i just say. and this is probably a niche hill to die on. that i am so gobsmacked every time someone vaguely hints at the idea that jotaro doesn't care meaningfully for the other crusaders, usually particularly kakyoin and joseph, when those two actually tend to be the ones he reacts to being hurt the hardest

like he cares for his loved ones!!!! that literally plays into his character motives in every single part he shows up in!!! stop lying to me!!!!!!!

[thekittyokat]

you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah

[ldpdluvr]

louis loves lestat, a part of the tragedy was/is that he loved/loves lestat so much and can't STOP loving him, that's why he couldn't fully kill him, why he lets him come back home after the drop, why dreamstat is even a thing during paris and stayed with him for 77 years, even when he tried to let him go he couldn't move on or forget about him because he LOVES him

[rninies]

HE WILL BE MINE 👹👹