#i need a second to collect myself
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my sweet potato for Interview Mag
#shawn mendes#these actually scream d*ddy#I’m sorry… I’ll collect myself#I need a professional pic of the second to last picture 😮💨#shawn peter#he also gave baby but rn we’re focused on him being c*nty
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-Self-Portrait Against Red Wallpaper (War of the Foxes), Richard Siken-
#You'll never guess what I started reading today#(Spoiler Alert: it's Eileen because Ottessa Moshfegh has grabbed me by the throat and I need to prepare myself for the movie)#(I can't wait to watch it)#jokes aside this^ was inspired by a fucking skim read#I'm afraid to see what other VP feels this man will bring out of me with his breathtaking poetry#once I properly read his second collection#In the meantime take this#hospital scene my beloved#vegaspete#richard siken#gifset
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battle mage apparently just got added to chinese maplestory m, but i'm more concerned about this promo art they dropped for it
either magnus is very large or everyone else is very small, what is with this height difference
#maplestory#thinking about trying maple m again since it's on pc#but then i ask myself why i would want to play a second maplestory#not like i need the reward points it would give me because i've been hitting the cap for the past few months#ever since i started actually doing weekly bosses and on more characters#as well as monster collection expeditions giving reward points
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HELP I JUST FOUND OUT THERE’S A PANDORA DOCTOR STRANGE CHARM AND I NEED IT SO FUCKING BAD FUCK
I have the rest of supreme fam (+Thor bc my cousins got it for me) BUT NO STEPHEN I NEED THIS SO BAAAAAADDDDDDD
#trying to decide if it’s worth waiting a month for my bday or just buying it myself now#PLS I NEED TO COMPLETE MY COLLECTION#HES MY FAVORITE MARVEL CHARACTER#TONY’S A HARD SECOND BUT I ALREADY HAVE HIM SO THATS NOT THE POINT#doctor strange#pandora#pandora charm#marvel#mcu#marvel cinematic universe#supreme family
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I have SonicxShadow Generations brainrot... already spent a few hours today playing and am currently tempted to grab my switch again even though it's not done charging and open up the game for the third time today
#sonic x shadow generations#i need to work towards the next boss in sonic gens#but shadow gens keeps calling my name cuz it's so cool and he's my favorite ahhh#sonic is my fave too obviously but shadow#thought of a silly doodle idea based on the titles of the game but that might take a while#i kinda forced myself to quit the game the first time today because my gaming thumb was hurting from pressing the buttons#the second time i opened up the game was cuz my sister had figured out where shadow's collection room was so i wanted to see it for myself#and then i got lost in the sauce lol#sth#sonic the hedgehog
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The way I love my job and desperately want more hours not just bc I need the money but because it legitimately fulfills me. I would do a 40 hour work week here in a heartbeat. But alas. Nonprofit .
#next month they’re paying me the base amount I need to survive#and the hours are gnarly so unless I work nights then it’s almost impossible to get a second job#BUT I LOVE IT HERE. I AM HELPING CURATE A WHOLE EXHIBIT AND IM INSTALLING IT MYSELF#I got to pull an 18thc miniature from our collection today and I was so excited i almost started crying#it was gouache on ivory and when I get home I want to learn everything about that technique !!!!!!!
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I caught a coelacanth! It only took me two days. I honestly thought it would take longer.
#now i just need a second so i can get blathers's eng desc too and then keep it in my house#(i'm keeping a bilingual critterpedia in a spreadsheet)#(i know i can easily look up the dialogues online but i wanna collect them myself)#ebw.op#ebw plays ac
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Cptsd brain be like: SHUT IT DOWN protecprotecprotec (don’t look at me/okay I am ALLOWING you to look at me) imsorry imsorry imsuchaburden wHYareyouevenHERE this is it i’ve finally screwed this up theymustthinkimweakandanidiotandoverreacting
…then…finally… with processing feeling this way for days and people who HAVE doggedly chosen to stay
…maybe…I won’t lose old&new.
#tiger’s roar#mental health bullshit#saw a post recently about ‘sometimes you can’t wait for your ducks in a row. you gotta scoop em up and make a run for it#’or you’re never crossing the street’ and…yeah. that is accurate#I give so much grace to others that I just struggle giving myself#…but…I do have my limits. i can get to the point of not wanting Any interaction the second I no longer need to keep a bridge stable#because cutting down bridges too soon wouldn’t have let me survive#sometimes you have to be ‘fine’ even when you don’t want to be#and…it was so hard to let someone New see that#but if I didn’t…I was afraid I’d accidentally ghost them Because of how much I Don’t want a community to find me on Newer social media#it’s…not like New hadn’t already seen my tendency to flee and didn’t know I have panic attacks and triggered reactions#but…this gave New the shape of it. and that is…terrifying#yes he’s shown himself to give a damn about me. admits where he struggles to reciprocate. expressed interest in reciprocation#of a different kind once that’s possible. is probably the only IRL I’ve never had to feel like I had to fight to be heard by#(well. kinda.)#so…he’s shown repeatedly he’s actually trustworthy. gives a damn about me and trying to learn my own boundariea#but…it’s still…hard.#but…I have to collect my ducklings and RUN anyway
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I was thinking of a character of mine, who is a very powerful shapeshifter, who has a particular affinity for doing stuff with their blood
Anytime someone stabs them they basically unleash hellish blood tendrils and spikes and whatever
The funny part of course being that they literally could do that at any time, it's not like they have to wait to be stabbed, it's just more dramatic and fun to have a "you done fucked up" clause when you get stabbed
#they're actually more or less unkillable because they took the time to study with disembodied demons in the abyss#so they aren't really tethered to their body anymore; and the shapeshifting lets them heal up faster#so like absolute worse case scenario they could slink off to some fast time shadow for a few centuries to regrow their body#they'd really more have to be contained somehow#they're actually what you might call the big bad of the campaign I'd like to run some day#...except for the fact that their plan is actually legit a good plan; that it doesn't involve killing a bunch of people or anything#it's basically to be like 'that's check and mate; with this new power I crown myself ruler of everything'#'and as my first order I say stop being bitches and play nice; and as my second order I say I'm peacing out leave me alone'#and legit part of why I want to play the campaign is to see what the players will do#they could totally join him; they could try to stop him#there's two other major factions that would be courting them as champions#hopefully no one who reads this remembers if for whatever reason you end up playing in this campaign#but the ending is more or less determined; he succeeds in his plan#but it's the lead up to that; and what they do after he fucks off that I'm interested in#you might think a campaign where the ending is known is pointless; but to me... well one they won't know that#and two kind of the point of the campaign is that everything they do matters in many ways more than the end#like this character's mo is collecting people who are nominally insignificant because he thinks they're useful#like in many ways his own core philosophy is that everything they do before he succeeds matters; that they have an impact#even if maybe not on this one event happening; they impact everything else they do#and even with that; does he succeed peacefully; or with a bloody siege to take the keep he needs to execute his plan?#anyway... he's the guy who Sabe decided to play second fiddle to#where Sabe was like you know forget all my egomaniacal plans I'd had when I was a big fish in a small pond#now that I see the actual nature of reality I realize that strong as I am; I'm not worth any more than the most useless nobody#we're both just as valuable and I'd rather go around fixing infinite small problems in infinite realities than rule#so I'll throw in as the fixer for this guy since he's saying the same stuff that I'm realizing#of course... there's kind of a canon to how this all went down; this campaign would kind of be an AU in a lot of ways#but... yeah... just thoughts since this is one of my core characters#though true to his role in the campaign where he fucks off; while Sabe is always doing stuff this to this day#this character is like 'I hang out in my library'; like he has a goal in life and then fucks off#like in the campaign he's gonna supreme fuck off in a way I think is pretty cool; fuck off to a new meta layer basically
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being one of the first ones home around holiday season is interesting because it means im bringing the packages in most of the time, and sometimes that means! i see something i was not meant to! anyways guess whos getting the third volume of o human star this year :3
#picked up a package for my mam and it said 'o human star' on the package and i literally GASPED.#and yet.. i have mixed feelings. on one hand i am excited to receive it as i have the other two and id love to complete the collection!#on the other my parents are very kind and have splurged for the versions where blue delliquanti (the author) signs w a sketch on the frint.#which i appreciate! dont get me wrong! but what that means in practice is the first volume has stella and no name to me#the second volume has al and is signed 'to [birthname]' and i deliberately did not request it this year as i felt it would be more.#well. thematically appropriate if i had the third volume signed with my transgenda name (and a sketch of brendan to complete the trio)#and now..! well. i cant do anything for the name if the author has made it out to me but i do hope the sketch is of brendan.#anyways. like i said. mixed feelings. on one hand‚ VERY appreciative.#on the other‚ ehhh i was kinda hoping to do something extra meaningful to me about it.#if i feel the need to i can just order a copy myself someday. or if im lucky have deliquanti resign it.
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Stopped by a couple of BookOffs today and picked up some interesting finds.
A signed book for a dollar that sounds like a good read.
Random Star Wars book for cheap that's full of charts and graphs and general statistics.
This, though, was the big catch. The Japanese version of the Attack of the Clones art book. Yes it was expensive (I had to think about it for a very long time before giving in), but it still has it's cardboard case mostly intact (one corner is broken but that's okay) and it's pretty fucking cool.
The temptation to take this and get it signed at the convention in a few weeks is very high.
#birdy collects nerdy things#i also got some cheap star wars kids books and some dollar novels that I've heard are good#and some crochet books that i know i don't have and already have plans to make things from#i made myself leave the second store early just so i wouldn't keep finding things#though i do need to figure out which Japanese crochet books i have because they had a lot for cheap
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It’s kind of wild looking at jobs near me.
They all require years of experience and expect you to have things that aren’t even used on the job (drivers license for a job that doesn’t require any form of driving) but they all pay like garbage.
The pay is low enough that you wouldn’t even be able to afford one of the low income housing apartments because they require you to make 3x the rent.
#its annoying i havent heard back either since my resume is good#i know one of them isnt a real opening and is just a business collecting resumes in case someone quits#which SHOULD be illegal but whatever#i know quitting my last job was a bad idea since my boss was actually really good#but my self harm was escalating rapidly from being there#i was at the point where i was using a key to cut myself whenever i went to the bathroom lmao#why is it so hard to find just stocking or warehouse jobs near me#something where i dont have to interact with the general public#instead its always#we need you to do cashiering truck cleaning phones delivery yada yada#also youre the only person on shift#i kind of miss being a tech at least the parts where i could actually be a tech instead of a call center operator#but i was the best there besides our data entry women (hired entirely to sit in the back and do data entry so we wouldnt fall behind)#so EVERYTHING was my issue because i could actually be trusted to deal with it and solve it#data entry and dealing with insurance was enjoyable and so was filling medications#literally never going 5 seconds (not exaggerating) without being interrupted was not#i grew to love old lady patients who would call because id just let them yap while i caught up on the computer since it rooted me to one#spot for awhile#my pharmacist trusted me so id get away with it lmao#all the cool people quit and went somewhere else though or they were in the back#so i basically only had myself to rely on when my main pharmacist had the day off#then wed get the worst fucking float pharmacist ever whod make my blood pressure skyrocket any time i worked with him#we could literally clear the queue the day before and then be several days behind the day after he worked#trust me it makes sense if you know how the queues work#rambling about phamarcy#how do people get good jobs…
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this is why i'm a deadcoded samgirl
#j.txt#i have nothing left to cope with of course. is my solution rly to shut myself up for the 23843472th time in my life for the collective good#well yes. because it is genuinely the best option for the collective good#for the 46784342985th time#why am i always the only family member doing this tho!!!!!!! there are always more of u and it would be 10x easier if we All did it!!!!!!#THAT is more stressful than the shutting myself up 3825732904 times part lmao#like we're all fucked up and traumatized but i somehow find ways to make the effort for the Whole and sometimes that pisses me off!!!#not enough to do anything ultimately. pointedly. because it would be a detriment to the Whole. and now we complete the 324735675th cycle#i'm the second youngest in this family too how did this happen#this is WHY i'm a deancoded samgirl blaalbalblaba......#as i have a mini breakdown on main like genuinely#sorry again. torn between mortification guilt and love for fellow human beings trying to help#will try not to delete these and just bury them w more posts instead#ok update to be fair. in the past 94377419 times i shouldn't have been the only one prioritizing the collective. however#atm i am the person saddled w taking care of my two dependent siblings 1 older 1 younger. and i do have that material power#and it does mean i have that obligation to. unfortunately continue the cycle#as long as i've decided to fill this role for them or continue to since that's how it happened#which i have decided. and i'm an adult who committed to that and like i can't ignore that either#i will break... The Cycles... in what ways i still can lol. and eventually completely i am just choosing to do what i need to for all of us#to Survive. i will Survive and try to help them survive too until we're in a position to do more than just that#talking myself thru my own breakdowns#points to post. anyway#j shut UPP u can sleep now
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RBed what I could of those who asked for help in my asks AND were vetted, but please. Pleasseeeee, if all you have is a GFM/dono link (little to no pictures/evidence otherwise) and explanatory text, I literally cannot in good conscience help you.
I have been scammed IRL before (including by "non-profits"; don't trust a freebie and vet thoroughly), and have accidentally retweeted donation/crisis scams in the past, only to be told on both occasions that the people in question genuinely, 100% didn't need the money.
Or, worse yet, were using it to cause even more harm, like money laundering; data acquisition, theft, and/or selling, etc.
I hate to ask for evidence, especially from people who are impoverished/experiencing severely traumatic events. But I'm barely scrapping by myself, and if I'm going to donate with money I could use to eat something nicer than the usual instead, it better be to someone who needs it so much more than I do.
#vee vibrates#My trust issues may be crippling but they're for good reason.#I hate how my kindness was fucking abused time and time again.#Still fuming over how I gave a severely homeless lady (barely had intact clothes) 20€ and as I was leaving and turned to smile at her#Her fucking BLINGED OUT asshole handler/pimp showed up from the alley right next to her and took ALL THE MONEY SHE COLLECTED FROM HER HAT.#Firet off fuck you for taking advantage of a vulnerable woman at her utter lowest. Second off I genuinely hope you eat shit for it.#He didn't even look ashamed when I was just standing there completely aghast and made eye contact with him. Just walked back into the alley.#God I wish I could've fucking chewed him out then and there but I'm not fucking with a potential gang and that area had nasty ones.#The irony is that I remember seeing those “DO THEY MAKE YOU FEEL AFRAID?” (rough translation) ads w humtraffik helplines right before her.#But just because you have the resources out there doesn't mean they'll be used by those who desperately need it most. It's their call.#Anyways sorry I'm rambling/unnecessarily justifying myself again. I just wish those who needed it got it & that I could give my help freely.#Also this is def not gonna be seen by those who need to but I give myself the gift of not giving any fucks and speaking my truth.
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my life goal is to be the exentric lady of the neighbourhood
#immaculate style + fascinating conversationalist + maximalist interior + very close friendships who are like a second familly +#extensive cd/vinyl collection and high quality sound system + be close to my family + be authentic +#know my worth and not be scarred of other people not seeing it/not vibing with me + see a therapist + be in love + with everything +#make art + never stopping being curious + being humble + accept that i am a dreamer + and that i am a late bloomer +#that i am slower than other people and that i don't need to go against my nature + to be a good communicator +#to never stop believing in myself.#wow this was supposed to be a silly post#but it transformed into a beautifully sincere and opstimistic letter to myself i guess#me
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c’mon baby, just a quick fuck!
⋆.˚ NSFW . wc. 919. timeskip ! ushijima wakatoshi x f!reader 、 size k!nk 、 mentions of breedin’ 、established relationships ( marriage ) 、 big dick ! toshi . . . x-x ! — 𝑹𝑼𝑩𝑰 : “ sillie lil’ thirst, celebration for mai haikyuu phase comin’ back tew haunt me . .”
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI is somebody who never paid much attention to intimacy . . . it wasn’t his thing, really. but with you . . his wife? he was willing to give you whatever you wanted. intimacy . . sexual or not with him is well thought of, you know your husband can be a little awkward sometimes . . but it’s not his fault. his large hands trailing downward towards the hem of your panties, his fingers curling inside your walls to ease your stress from time to time, he knew your body well. amidst his calm and collected demeanour, who would’ve known that . . ushijima wakatoshi himself would be the naughty type.
he couldn’t help it, he really couldn’t. those eyes of his, staring at you with both lust and love. he couldn’t count how many times he’d stare down at you and notice how big he was compared to you. during his games . . even when you stood in-front of him, he had the urge to grab at that pretty waist of yours, take you right then and there. he felt like a pervert, lusting over your height and size differences . . . wonderin’ how much of his cock you can handle. would it fit? would you be able to take it? he wondered how much cum would leak from your pretty pussy onto the soft sheets . . how pretty you’d look sprawled out on the bed, taking his length. he didn’t know the answer of those questions . . . but he was determined to find out himself. he was slowly losing himself day by day and it was all clear to you.
tonight, you saw a different side to him . . . a side you knew existed, but you never knew he would reveal it to you so soon. he wanted an answer to all those questions that lingered in his head so naughtily, he demanded answers. the feeling of your pussy gripping onto him for dear life sends shivers down his spine, ushijima’s heart raced . . . his breath hitching for a moment. when he feels you arch up against him, he grabs onto the waistband of your skirt and jerks you back against him harder, slamming himself deeper into you with each thrust. “fuck, fuck, fuck . . ." your husband growls, letting his bare chest brush against your back with each movement. ushijima was getting closer now, his muscles tense. he can feel his release building up inside him, threatening to burst and it hasn’t even been thirty minutes yet. “i . . . apologize, i can’t hold myself back anymore. . . ”
“fuck, ‘toshi your cock’s t—too big f’me !” you whined . . . your breathing grew heavy, your heart pounding against your chest. you stared right into his eyes, the fire in them matching your own. ushijima refused to put a stop to his thrusts . . . he didn’t stop, not even a second, that's how much he needed you. he’s not done with you yet. he smirked, panting heavily. as he pulled out, he took a few seconds to admire the drops of his cum leak out of you. he knew his cock was such a ridiculous size, but he loved how much it drove you wild. ushijima was even aware how intimidating his size could be, but his pretty little wife seemed to be handling it perfectly. the way you took him, accepting his roughness . . . your breasts bouncing from the harshness of his thrusts made his heart swell.
“you’ve got it, baby," he assured, positioning himself between your legs once more, easing the tip of his cock against your entrance, before slamming himself back inside . . . a grunt leaving his throat. “you can take it, sweet girl. i know you can.” ushijima bottomed out, letting out a contented groan . . . his hands gripping your hips tightly, savoring the velvety warmth enveloping him. “see how perfect you fit around me? it slid right in." he whispered, leaning down to nibble on her earlobe. your husband’s thrusts grew deeper and impatient, his cock sliding in and out of your wetness, whispering dirty nothings into your ear. the warm room was filled with the sounds of flesh slapping against flesh, his balls slapping against your ass every second, he was getting impatient . . . he wanted to cum once more, knock you up . . . give you a baby tonight. fuck, he’d like that.
ushijima’s breaths grew heavier, his hips slamming against your ass, driving into you with reckless abandon . . . he couldn’t help but growl as he felt another orgasm building. drool slipped from your mouth, your mind was completely out of it . . . hazy and filled with his cock. “s—so big, ‘toshi . . . so fuckin’ big.” ushijima chuckled, the sound was a mix of amusement and pride. "mmhm . . . but you’re taking me well, you don’t have to worry." he whispered, his hot breath fanning over your ear as he leaned in, his hands roaming your body with a hunger that mirrored his own. your bodies collided, the fire within your husband beginning to burn brighter, threatening to consume you both.
“let me hear you.” he panted, his voice thick with need. his fingers dug into your hips, the strength in his grasp a promise of the power he held over your smaller frame. shit, he really did love how small you were. “i want you to take all my essence, my love.” his free hand trailed up against your side, fingertips brushing against your breast, teasing the sensitive nipple through the thin fabric of your top. "i want to try making you a mother . . . fill you up ‘till you’re all full. you wouldn’t mind that . . . would you, baby?
© 𝒀𝑶𝑰𝑪𝑯𝑳𝑺 / 𝟔𝑮𝑼𝑴𝑰 2024. modifying 、translating 、sharing my works on other platforms 、or considering them as yours is strictly prohibited.
#༒ lycoris radiata library#wakatoshi iz so dreamiez . . . (⸝⸝º ^ º⸝⸝ )#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x you#haikyuu smut#ushijima wakatoshi#haikyuu ushijima#hq x reader#hq smut#hq ushijima#haikyuu x y/n#ushijima x reader#ushijima wakatoshi x reader#ushijima wakatoshi smut#ushijima smut#ushijima x you
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