#i need a rb tag but ill figure that out later
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op how does it feel to be one of if not the coolest saiki cosplayer ive ever seen
holy HELL it’s ME and my CHILD (icebear), doing GANGSTER shit
ignore my room i live in someone’s basement (i got my own fridge and everything)
#thats not. that big of a compliment now that i think abt it bc ive seen like. five including myself.#BUT. THIS IS MY FAVORITE.#refuse to believe saiki wouldnt look like this if he were created in the late 2010s or early 20s rather than the early/mid 2010s#I LOVE THE SOCKS BTW. THEY LOOK REALLY GOOD.#uve also reminded me i should invest in a tie and a clip thingy ty#ALSO refuse to believe saiki wouldnt take pics like this#id say caption is aren-inspired but saiki is equally as if not more acab than aren and we love that for him <3#i saw some of ur other posts complaining that u think u look too small/non threatening and dude that is the furthest thing from a problem#something abt ur proportions just. FITS saiki?? somehow???#also i cant tell if your irl proportions inspired ur saiki drawings or if ur saiki drawings inspired how u present urself but yes.#first rb on this account iirc :D wanted it to be a cosplayer and i can see none more worthy in my *checks watch* two minutes of scrolling#i need a rb tag but ill figure that out later#the wig and the shirt and the limiters and the bear and the socks and the tie an-#its so. good. i love the vibes.#but also maybe dont cosplay like this for too long if it hurts that much lol
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check-in tag
vera tagged me! @dependsonwhospitching hii i will indulge u a bit
1. why did you choose your url?
Its a ref to all the media w crows that i liked back in the day, we’re talking classic tmblr ya lit... the foxhole court and the raven cycle.. also it was my sports anime era (karasuno). its mainly about ronan tho (son of a bitch + raven). i dont rlly wanna give it up.. also corvids r pretty
2. any side-blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.
this is my only side blog, n the one i use the most since im chronically online, i have a main obv but its a secret xoxo ( you have to go tru the trials and tribulations of figuring it out by yourself )
3. how long have you been on tumblr?
maybe since 2015? i made this one around 2016
4. do you have a queue tag?
i dont tag it but i have a queue n also i schedule posts randomly
5. why did you start your blog in the first place?
i wanted to keep most of my obsessions apart from my main, especially the anime posts
6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?
it’s from my “i know the end” zayn comic, its pretty vague at the same time, i think i dont exactly wanna define myself as a 1d blog even tho i am rn, but hey i try to draw. smtimes
7. why did you choose your header?
fun story, to me. i chose it as an aes pic ages ago. i rlly like those tones n i matched them to my blog color. it was a couple years later when i realized it was from a ts 1989 shoot n now im a swiftie, so it stays
8. what’s your post with the most notes?
probably a fanart post from ages ago (probably from m*rvel) or that meme i made ( +ty for being best friends. -we literally never interact ) that every1 hated but loved to rb n i deleted after a bit
9. how many mutuals do you have?
that i “kind of” talk to, like 10 :)
10. how many followers do you have?
just a bunch, keeping a low profile on tumblr dot com
11. how many people do you follow?
444 (lots are artists pages or only post once a month or are inactive)
12. have you ever made a shitpost?
“a relationship should be 50/50. im a thief and you call me a thief.” but not often not.
13. how often do you use tumblr each day?
mental illness
14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?
i dont have fights, no body has a problem w me n im always right anyway
15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?
hate. but i get where some of them r coming from sometimes
16. do you like tag games?
yes<3 even if i dont do them its like getting a little hi and a heart emoji from a mutual whats not to like
17. do you like ask games?
i like the free compliments ones and i like sending them numbers, i dont often like answering questions tho
18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?
evryone of them is more famous than me peace and love
19. do you have a crush on a mutual?
yes but you dont know them. they go to another Blogging platform
20. tags?
not today. do it if u like, tell em i sent u ⭐
#sonofaraven talks#tagged#ty<33 this blogs been tru a lot idk what itll be next#lately im rlly into. rbing audio posts. n im hoping to get into reading more again
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thanks for tagging me gab @12monthoctober and eden @pianoandcookiedoughlover and faith @shades-of-greens <3 (i did not realize how many times i did not respond to this dfjhgjlkds you are all darlings <3)
1. why did u choose ur url?
i was tired at lunch one day and figured, ok im short, im also vaguely emo but not committed enough to go full out, so bam im both a little emo (as in noncommittal) and a little emo (as in short) <3
2. any sideblogs?
technically i have one now but i mostly have it to save the url, if i ever actually decide to start streaming ill prob make a blog specifically for that!! (though i think I��d use my alittleemo handle for it anyway so who knows then)
3. how long have u been on tumblr?
a little over a year now!! i think i made this blog in february of 2019 but started using it march/april of last year
4. do u have a queue tag?
i still do not know how to use the queue function dfjkhgkldjsjdflkh
5. why did u start your blog in the first place?
nearly all of my Pinterest feed was tumblr memes anyway so i figured why not go to the source of it all /hj. also i wanted to find more people into aftg and skam
6. why did u choose ur icon/pfp?
matching pfp with gab’s dsmp side blog!!! ae asked me if i wanted to match and i couldn’t pass up the opportunity :D (plus clingy duo / tommyinnit supremacy) i think it’s pretty fitting honestly <3
7. why did u choose ur header?
i love taking shitty pictures of jellyfish and i thought this one ended up looking really cool
8. how many mutuals do u have?
13!! i have immense fondness for each of you <3
9. how many followers do u have?
39 babey!!!
10. how many people do u follow?
97 currently !!
11. have u ever made a shitpost?
what is anything i post if not complaining or making dumbass posts (affectionate)
12. how often do u use tumblr each day?
yikes. I mean like i am def here several times per day (its gonna be more now too now that its summer) but i feel like i sort of j scroll through my dash and only rb a few things compared to how much i actually see yk
13. did u ever fight/argue w another blog? who won?
no i hate confrontation but i also would rather j block someone trying to start smth w me
14. how do u feel about "u need to reblog these" posts?
going to steal celia and gab’s response bc yall are more coherent than me - sometimes it's too mentally draining to read abt terrible shit all the time. calm down. not everyone needs to read everything. i don't need ur guilt-trip rn. u can get across that a post is imp. w/o that statement. idk. sometimes i ignore them out of spite. i know that i rb a decent number of activism posts but i dont like those ones as much bc the guilt tripping isn’t the way to go
15. do u like tag games?
yes if u ever tag me j know i would instantly deliver cookies to ur house if i could <3 i do however often forget to respond to them until later (hi this tag is from over a week ago dfjkhgljdksh)
16. do u like ask games?
yes i love them immensely i j often again forget to actually finish them whoops
17. which of ur mutuals do u think is tumblr famous?
ik that i have a lot of relatively famous mutuals-in-law, but as for my own mutuals i’d say @lunawedlers and @lesbeanadiamcnll, i feel like yall have such good vibes in that respect <3
18. do u have a crush on a mutual?
like gab said, yes but platonically <3
tagging @coffee-and-moo, @alinastarkovaz, @lesbeanadiamcnll, @lunawedlers and any other mutuals who’d like to do so!!! (as always feel free to ignore as well <3)
#asks#tags#lee’s bullshit#i love to talk abt myself dkjhfgljkdsk this was so fun <3#thank you for the tag gab i hope you’re doing well!!!!!#also thank u for the tag as well eden!!!!#i didnt realize at first u had both tagged me in it but thank u both ily <3
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Ill always take care of you
Cw: sensory overload, food. Ask to tag
Ok to rb
Summary: Sherlock is very stressed about a case, luckily for him, his girlfriend,jerico, is there to take care of him.
Jerico hears clattering in the kitchen,she stands up from bed, and walks to the kitchen.
Instantly she knew what was going on,walking over to Sherlock she Gently waves her hand at him to get his attention.
--hey hey-- she said softly guiding him to sit on his sofá, she grabs her noise cancelling headphones and puts them on him.
When stressed Sherlock would have a sensory overload, and jerico, who had past experiences with that, would always help him.
She covers his eyes with her hands and waits, she sees him breathe deeply until he calms down, jer slowly takes her hands off of his eyes and kisses him.
He humms and kisses her back, hugging her waist pulling her closer to him.
He cant hear what shes saying but Reading her lips Sherlock figured that jerico was taking him to bed.
She closes the blinds and the door, its dark but he can still see jer Sit on his chest.
She presses a kiss to his lips, hands on either side of his head as his hands caress her waist with his thumbs.
He sighs as his body relaxes, she gets off of him and lays down besides him.
Sherlocks hand caressed her cheek, pulling jerico closer he yawns.
Resting his head on her chest he says-- thank you-- to then wrap her legs around his waist.
She caresses his hair, until she feels him fall asleep, when he is she gets out of bed.
-- hey mycroft-- said jerico talking with her brother in law-- I need you to take care of something, sherlocks been stressing out over this, today it got bad and well, just for his sake, and dont tease him if he finds out,okay, thanks-- she finises the call and puts on her coat, walking downstairs.
-- hoo hoo-- ms Hudson surprises jerico--where are you going?
-- im going to buy some food, sher had a sensory overload today and im going to make him a nice home-cooked dinner
--aw--cooed the eldery woman--look at you go, you are perfect for him,okay go, if you need anything tell me
--i Will ms Hudson, thank you
When she returns she gets cooking rightaway.
Jerico humms to herself, getting a text from mycroft that the part that was Driving Sherlock crazy was dealt with.
And talking about him, he still was passed out in bed, not for too long because when he smelled the food he woke up and almost bolted to the kitchen.
-- hello-- said jerico as sher took off the noise cancelling headphones.
--you shouldnt go through all this trouble for me-- he said hugging her from behind-- but I appreciate the gesture my dearest
He kisses her and grabs the plates.
She served the food and both sat on the couch, watching TV, jerico laughing at sherlocks anger at the reality shows-- of course hes not the father! Look at his jeans!
Jer giggles and puts her legs on his lap--sher, calm down
He sighs pulling her closer-- some people are so stupid...
Both lay down on the couch, lights off, the TV as their only source of light and as background noise.
--thank you for taking care of me
--im always going to take care of you sher-- he smiles and presses his head on her shoulderblades.
--i love you-- he said.
-- I love you too --Jerico answered caressing his hands with her thumb.
Later on, ms Hudson found them asleep, he put a blanket on them and left.
They truly were meant for eachother.
#cw sensory overload#tw sensory overload#sensory overload#cw food#tw food#sensory overload cw#sensory overload tw#ask to tag#food tw#food cw#food ment#f/o fic#sherlock (bc) tag pending
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Homph I finished tri and I wrote down my thoughts as I was watching because I had too many funny shitposts and nobody to share them with bc charlie hasn’t watched tri yet
PS i wont be reblogging tri spoilers (besides MINOR stuff like, digivolutions of already confirmed digivolution lines or non-spoilery shitposts, but I’ll try to tag shitposts as #tri spoilers anyways [digivolutions specific to tri ill tag as well but not ones that were already basically confirmed]) for a while so ur safe here! I’m just gonna like everything/most things because then I can rb em to hisyaryumon lmao (also u should check out hisyaryumon....its me n charlie’s digimon blog)
EP 1:
- ok. alright. ok. good. they’re dealing with kari’s emotions now instead of just. nothing. ok. alright. cool. Still dont like how obscure/”artsy” they’re being with it, this is digimon not kagerou project, but ok.
- Also. I stand by tk and kari being one of the few good straight ships in digimon. just saying.
- kari: this is my fault... me: god damn it shut up you little brat also me: god relatable ALSO me: ill take whatever display of emotions i can get
- I love how nobody believes tai is dead like. They’re upset and worried but they’re also like “nah. he cant be. that fucking asshole just left us in our time of need” (actually only matt is the last one)
- Gabumon i would die for you also im crying and I think that’s the first time tri managed to make me fucking CRY
EP 2:
- I had thoughts but then the 02 kids happened and I entered another plane of reality. I don’t feel real right now
- the only one I can remember is evil!gennai being a dumbass and being like “SUFFER AND SQUIRM YOU PATHETIC HUMANS AS YOU FIGHT OVER THE LAST SEAT” 1. humans are KNOWN for their ability to care for others you dumb obvious fuck and 2. is. is the entire tube going? because that tube can fit too people if they squish. This isn’t a joke I’m serious it can.
- oh yeah also when i saw whomstever the fuck his name is (adult guy who i love but fuck names) and he was all bloodied i was like “its a cold day in hell when i see blood in digimon” (I think there was blood in an earlier ep but shh idc)
EP 3:
- didn’t nishijima start off as a fucking life coach to these kids. What the fuck he was supposed to help them find a career not emotionally scar them by bloodily dying in front of one of them
- im realizing that the reason hackmon was always in his cloak, in the shadows, standing still is that they cannot animate him in any normal position for the life of him. I drew him with better anatomy when i was 14 and didn’t have a tablet. No seriously, look:
I didn’t say it wasn’t bad, you guys are just underestimating how bad the anatomy on this poor creature is. Why cant ppl draw dracomon or hackmon correctly imma cry
- ordinemon has the best reaction faces
the best part about these two screenshots is that they literally cut one to the other, first the first one to the second one and then it cuts back to the first one. They were really proud of these stupid ass expressions.
- I started overcoming my dissociation shock from the second episode and my hypercritical mind was analyzing the shit out of everything that happened (it is Not happy) but then evil!gennai called kari and evil goddess and idk if he’s exaggerating to make her feel bad or if she’s literally a fucking god of chaos and destruction and either way im like
she did kinda like. Watch wizardmon die, watch tai die, watch gatomon get absorbed. The dark ocean is just a metaphor for depression and honestly if 02 wasn’t all over the fucking place I think Kari would’ve had some pretty decent development in it. Actually you know what, I’m using that as an angle to approach Tri at now, wish me luck bc i might actually give it more leeway now
EP 4:
- I’m not dissociating but I forgot to say anything again and I already forgot what happened
- Cant believe mei is fucking dead
EP 5:
- I like to imagine that Tai got there like a few minutes ago, but he was like “well damn guess yall figured it out without me. alright ill just. see if I need to do anything” and then meicoomon was Still Bad so he waited for when she struck just to make the most badass entrance possible. Fucking extra ass bitch
- I forgot to write anything again but uhhh I wasn’t satisfied so anyways lets just get into the Juicy Details
Originally I was actually planning to be kinder to Tri than I expected. Was very invested during it. ‘Round the end of the last ep I realized hmmm no this isn’t working out. Where are the 02 kids. You should’ve brought them in to save the day. That would’ve been SO cool and SO fun. Fucking cowards.
god I’m kinda tired so I’m going to address a couple things I still had problems with, note that this isn’t everything it’s just everything I felt comfortable yelling about without rewatching past eps. Like I forgot nishijima was all bloodied and presumably died in the last part until they brought it up and I was like “????” ALSO DID THE LADY WHO WAS HIS PARTNER OR W/E KILL HERSELF WITH THE GUN SHE FOUND, I JUST REALIZED LITERALLY AS I WAS TYPING THIS THAT SHE FOUND A GUN AND THEN I THINK IT CUT TO BLACK AND I’M
DID SHE FUCKING KILL HERSELF WHAT THE FUCK
anyways my problems:
1. They did joe. really dirty. I’ll write a more proper rant on this sometime later (mostly bc charlie is MUCH better at talking about joe than I am) but basically I can tell you that his character development in the movies squandered his OG character development. He’s basically an entirely different person. Like Tri joe isn’t bad, besides being largely neglected (yes he has a whole half a movie to himself, no that doesn’t make up for it all), its just...not OG joe. He’s a fine character just not the same character, and its NOT fine when you put the two together.
2. THEY DID THE 02 KIDS EVEN DIRTIER IM SO BITTER sorry you nostalgia-blind, money-hungry fucks at bandai, but the 02 cast is PART OF THE ADVENTURES UNIVERSE. The only people who hate 02 are ones who like the characters but hate the mess of the storyline at the end, or are completely irrational and elitist about their love of the digimon series and would greatly re-evaluate their opinions if they watched the original series and 02 back to back. They couldn’t even show them in some kind of group montage at the end??? Standing in the background when they call Mei??? Why couldn’t they call mei from a home phone also, but that’s a less important problem idc that much. It was a cute scene besides the lack of 02 characters. Whatever. AND THE PROBLEM IS LIKE kari and tk? This entire time??? Were like “oh they disappeared. oops” instead of being frantically searching for their lost friends??? Like i get tk and kari probably have fucking ptsd and can’t express any emotions because they watched important people die in front of their eyes at an incredibly young age but also 1. they didn’t address the ramifications of ptsd, so fuck that theory/excuse and 2. THAT??? WOULD ONLY MAKE THEM LOOK HARDER??? and put on a brave face as they look, but inside they’re so scared and so worried. Not just “oh sweet, they were found/saved, theyre in the hospital but that’s fine” like WHAT theyre fucking assholes if that’s what they’d canonically do lmao. God I am SO bitter over the ENTIRE thing with the 02 kids, it would’ve been BETTER if they were deleted from the fucking canon entirely. Would I have still been bitter? Yes. But at least I wouldn’t be madder at TK and Kari too.
3. I stand 100% by the notion that Digimon is not and will never be cut out to be an adults’ franchise. It wasn’t designed for adults, and it can’t be skewered towards adults. These particular characters were designed for kids to relate to and find entertaining. They do not work when placed into an adult setting. Like, can you imagine a character like Ed from FMA going to the Digimon world? I guess in a way that’s just Marcus but like. Just imagine the FMA cast in Digimon Adventure. It doesn’t work. Digimon Tri is basically that except real. Also Data Squad was darker than Adventure so my joke doesn’t even work.
I guess my primary point is that Tri isn’t mature enough of a setup for an adult audience. It puts a focus on being “complex” and “philosophical” instead of working within Digimon’s constraints and making something good and adult out of that. Like! Digimon is a fucking TOY COMMERCIAL. Don’t give me messages about the futility of human life. I want bad puns and emotional characters. That’s what Digimon has ALWAYS been, and ideally always will be. Tri could’ve made itself more mature by dealing with the ramifications of the Digital World’s events, how it affected the kids psychologically and dealing with healing old scars. It would’ve been a more mature take on a story we loved and would use things we loved about the story already - the fact that it took so much time exploring characters’ emotions and was surprisingly mature for the time - to make itself better. You need to take the aspects that drew adults to the show and amplify them, not just slap on a complex story and unfunny dialogue and be like “oh this is fine, right?”
It’s not that Digimon can’t exist as an adult property, its just that if it repeats what Tri did, it’s got no merit and in my eyes the franchise is dead. If it survives I guess I’ll be happy that people can still enjoy it but I find it unsustainable and unsatisfying to fans of the older series. Tri is just a fuckfest of highly specific nostalgia that tries too hard to appeal to old fans without capturing what made the original series so magical, and in part thats because the original series WASN’T FOR ADULTS. I don’t know about the Digimon Story games, bc they’re T-rated so perhaps they’re a better take on an adult Digimon story than Tri? But you either need to make your own characters and lore specifically for an adult-oriented Digimon season, or perish. Also, please make it a series and not a group of movies. Getting four eps every 6-9 months was hell.
I stand by saying Appmon is a more faithful Digimon season than Tri to Digimon’s original spirit. I believe it holds more potential for success than Tri and better embodies the spirit of the older Digimon seasons. It’s dumb, its corny, it has horrible puns, but I LOVE it because it also has a deep dark story and emotional moments. If you dislike Tri and you agree with things I said that make it unlikeable, I highly recommend giving Appmon a chance - if you watch a few episodes and think “oh yeah, I guess this is decent” you’re going to like it. It’s everything Digimon has always been and hopefully always will be, just with a different concept. And hopefully the end of the series doesn’t leave a sour taste in my mouth and I have to redact this statement haha since I’m not done with it yet, but I’ve heard good things about it so I’m hoping not so.
Overall, if you watch Tri, don’t get your hopes up. It resolves everything okay-ish but it’s a pretty forgettable anime on its own and simply doesn’t work as part of the Digimon franchise.
I am, however, pretty interested in what evil!gennai said at the end about Diaboromon and Daemon. It raises interesting questions about the timeline too. We know Daemon is in the dark ocean, so perhaps that’s a hint at a future project? (They did confirm a future project btw, in conjunction with tri being over) But what about Diaboromon? I dont believe that Our War Game (I think thats what its called?) took place after Tri, based on the outfits and ages and stuff, but I also don’t remember the movies that well. Could Diaboromon still be out there too? It’s interesting.
However, because of the lackluster performance of Tri, I don’t have my hopes up and I really hope that this “next project” goes in a different direction. Although I guess if they include the 02 kids, I’ll be somewhat less salty...
Side note, did they ever explain why the gennais went evil? Like ? That’s a pretty important thing. The gennais helped SAVE the human world in 02. And I get that apparently Tri is ignoring 02′s ending but still. It’s shitty, because Gennai was still a good guy in the original too (and also they cant just keep is younger look and act like 02 never happened) MAYBE its something I missed but I dont think so. God there’s just. So much wrong with Tri. I’m very displeased and very bitter and I wanna get back to Appmon asap.
It’s got good moments, its got bad moments, I dont know, I don’t care. There’s nothing wrong with you if you like it, there’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t, and there’s nothing wrong with you if you flip flop and are split like me. I just wish Tri fulfilled its potential instead of becoming a boring mess.
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someone paying an absurd amkunt of attention to my recent rbs may have noticed all the art i rbed is tagged with inspo and favorites. and that is because. i can look at so many things i love in all this art. and look at my art and realize i cant even begin to mimic that. i cant compare.
im going to back up because theres a bit more i think. just a dump of things that have affected? my mood
a few days ago. i look at my face. i see bumps. i am very concerned (im supposed have a clear face because thats one of the few consistent compliments on my face thats the one measurable thing that i liked about it -)
i do a mask or two (a rare event, and a different maskni havent used before) it doesnt gok away. but while im looking. i realize i dont hate my face (at the time). i recognize several things that arent bad and some that are neutral. from this point on ive cokntinued to do an apricot scrub but those bumps remain (they were there befoe school but i suspect wearing a mask all day has worsened it.)
i work on an art piece for a few days. i am not happy wiuth it but it doesnt look bad.i post it before school.
now that im finihed with that piece i need something to do during school. i crochet. made a coaster in one bus ride to school, another between classwork, and most of one during a mostly free period, which was completed on the bus. (to be fair. its 5 rounds and described as quick to work up)
the first i give to my teacher before school. she is nice about it. notably, i offered it to a teacher i had last year first, who mentions she still has a doily i gave to her last year, and she thinks of me when she sees it.
i gave the second to my art teacher. he is very nice about it, which is not unusual but always makes me :D
also during art. i work on a pinch pot and recieved positive feedback relating to it beijng a square and alsl me adding orbs to the corners. notably. i placed the pot on my friends desk and said something along the lines of 'i crave [feedback/attention]' (dont remember exact wording)
i try to finish the last coaster in last period to give to my teacher but fail. i do give it to my friend while we're in the bus and she has a very sweet reaction (involving gasping and compoiments and i noticed her staring at it for awhile after)
sometime after that on the bus ride i think about how nice positive feedback is and vaguely wish my friend from last year who always had an extreme good reaction to gifts and kind acts was still here.
the art has not had any feedback beyond the requester/my friend (who is the requester). thats not too bad but i dont rb it to main bcs i want to post the speedpaint first.
i start working on getting the speedpaint up. i need a song. i ask my sisters while we r outside about songs i can use. the twins are alsok planning 'celebration days' for mema. we end up singing and they stol and say my voice is good. a bit more singing and me being embarrassed and sinking to the floor with my hands covering my face at one point. i have been convinced to join them in singing a song for mema.
at this point i was excited. i am critical of my voice and have not sung much since third grade choir (i auditioned the next year but did not make it, which was discouraging for a small child).
next day. another apricot scrub to maybe get those bumps off. excited messing around with twins in morning. printing out pictures of myself at emmas request. and printing song lyrics. mema is mowing outside. i begin to practice. i doknt hate it. i stop and drink water. i try to memoripe lyrics, although i donot get ti the end. considering posting my singing on blog. twins go swimming. i take a small break. post speedpaint.
twins come inside w kai. they are all in a bad mood. i try to start again, slightly nervous/embarrassed to sing in front of people. 'im a little pitchy' 'yeah you are' - kai. kais always like that but. emma also says its not good. notably emma is never like that. i dont really care cuz its obvious shes in a bad mood even without avas reassurance.
ava convinces me tok play tea party. kai clinks spoon against ceramic cup and it hurts my ears. i tell her to stop and she does. kai tells me to go off my tablet. i cokntinue with the internal justification 'its overwhelming to focus on them only (not exact words)'. ear still hurts from cup clinking. small snarking between kai and i. twins and kais voice eventually becoming more and more irritating. i leave tea party.
later twins trying to get my attention and i answer aggressively and they say nevermind. internally i amthinkung that this isnt even overstimulation/bad noise (cant remember word for that) just me being annoyed at them for no reason.
speedpaint has recieved no attention. i shoukdnt care but am slightly disappointed. i try going through open tabs to rrb things. all the art is amazing. i tag everything as inspo and favorites, because its all amazing. i keep noticing littke techniques that each piece does. two handle lineart color differnces better than i did on that request. one has a sketchiness to the lines that adds to it. one has beautiful flowers that i could never get. i think about improving. i dont know how. i cant figure out how to learn. and other self depreciation.
that self depreciation continues with my singing. i cant do it. im not good at singing. i cant memorize the words. etc. mema is out of the house and i try practicing again. i cant get myself to sing. i eventually tell twins i cant do it.
throughout this. i try to listen to music. watch videos. something to blockbout the noise and get the right noise. nothing works. currently settled on a song that almost does it.
theres alot of internal emotion that i dont know how to describe.
logically i know myart didnt get nktes bcs it was posted while my friends were offline. and art not getting notes is one thing thatas nkt even a major part of this. but.
i am disgusted by my face right now. i doknt know whats wrong with it. i dont know whats wrong with my body.
ive been thinking about cutting my hair. i like how it looks now. and have recieved a random compliment from somebody i dont know at school. who said i could really pull it off. but. i want to experiment. ill probably come back to this style. but i want to try some stuff.
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